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hapan-in-exile · 3 months

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Volume 3- Post #11: Well, hell's bells

Another installment in this ongoing serialized fanfic

Genre: Mandalorian x Fem! Reader

Total word count: 5.6K (of 45K total in Volume 3)

Rating: Explicit - smut, language, 18+ *NSFW*

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XI. “Oh! And I bought a rice cooker,” Nito adds triumphantly, leaning into the holo-transmitter with a wide grin. In his lap, the kid’s ears are just visible, perking up at the sound of your voice.

“Wait! You can cook?!”

“Of course, I can cook. I’m an orphan. We’re basically the most resilient beings in the galaxy.”

That’s right. Mando, Nito, the Child…together, you were a family of orphans. Was it simply a random twist of fate, or the cosmic force of the universe pulling you all together?

It’s not the first time this thought had occurred to you, but now it felt oddly significant.

The Mandalorian had his covert, Nito had his gang of boosters back on Corellia, and there were still a few medics from the Corps that probably would take you in. But the Child? He truly needed a family. He was the cosmic force pulling you together.

Because you all recognized what a transformative gift it was to be loved and cared for—to have someone committed to your safety and well-being.

Your gaze shifts toward the cockpit, catching sight of the Mandalorian. He was busy entering the navigation coordinates.

The transformative power of love, huh? Well, maybe there’d be more of that to go around from now on.

Turning your attention back to the holo-transmitter, you cock an eyebrow in mock outrage. “Then why am I always the one making dinner?”

“My bowel movements have been better since you took over meal planning. Also, less scurvy.”

“Funny how I didn’t hear a single ‘thank you’ anywhere in there…”

Nito clasps his hands over his heart in a sign of devotion, “Thank you for my healthy poop, Thulindahra.” Then, he gasps excitedly. “That’s right! What’s your new name?”

“Kasya Hawat,” you recite, having repeated it about a thousand times in your head. “It’s pronounced Kaas-ee-yah…I think.” At the bottom of the screen, you see the kid’s ears turn upward. “Hey, how are his ears doing?”

“I checked them this morning. No gunk.”

“Phew! Don’t forget to clean them while I’m gone, ok?”

Nito’s brow furrows. “Are you worried about remembering you have a different name now?”

Fuck, will no one in this family let you to artfully change the subject?

“Uh, yeah. I am, actually.” You admit, continuing to towel off your wet hair. Three showers in one day might be a personal record. “It’ll be really terrifying if someone yells Kasya at me and I don’t turn around.”

“I bet after a few days of everyone saying it…” Nito shrugs helplessly.

“Let’s hope so,” you sigh. Catching yourself frowning, you try to rearrange your face to look more hopeful. “Tell me. What’s the first thing you made with your new rice cooker?”

“Fish porridge,” he says proudly.

“Nice! And were there any vegetables involved in the making of this meal?”

“Knew I forgot something,” Nito snaps his fingers with a sly wink.

“Hey, genius! Eat a plant every once in a while if you don’t want vitamin deficiency.”

“Okay, Doctor Thuli.”

“Pffft. If I were a good doctor, you’d have a better grasp of micronutrients.”

“Wait, why don’t you just go by 'Doc'? That’d be easy to remember.”

You pause thoughtfully. “I’m not saying it’s a bad idea, but a former doctor working with the cleaning crew might raise a few eyebrows.”

Not that falling on hard times isn’t a universal affliction. Plenty of well-educated professionals were forced to take whatever work they could get—especially in the aftermath of a galactic civil war. But it’s the kind of backstory that makes a person stand out. Coworkers would inevitably come to you asking, ‘Please let me show you,’ with odd requests for this or that ailment.

And Kasya Hawat had not received any medical training. Hell, she hadn’t existed since the age of five. You’d need to be careful about appearing too knowledgeable or helpful when someone got injured.

“Better figure out your meal planning soon. Otherwise, Mando will have you eating MREs while I’m gone.”

“Ugh,” Nito stuck out his blue tongue. “I try not to think too much about what life was like before we picked you up. So bleak!” He moans, “Now you’re making us relive it.”

“First of all, this whole scheme was your idea, kiddo. Second,” you twist in your seat to watch the Mandalorian make his way in from the cockpit, “Mando’s going to be super sweet to you guys because he’s very keen to stay on my good side.”

Nito scoffs, and then a dark look crosses his face. “I know we planned all this out…but it feels kinda scary now that you’re really gonna do it.”

“It’ll be fine,” you assure him. “And we’ll go over everything together before I leave.”

“Okay,” he nods, not quite convinced.

“Okay,” you repeat gently. “Well, we should be back before nightfall.” Then you add in a stern voice—teasing him, “Dinner better be hot when we get there.”

Nito gives you a performative salute before ending the transmission.

***********

“The kids, ok?” Mando asks while pulling out the hem of his cloak from under the Beskar chest plate.

His helmet takes in a quick sweep of the room.

It’s a small transport shuttle, with most of the hold serving as the ship’s living quarters. Apart from the comms station, there's a bed, a lounge area, and a small kitchenette.

“Yeah,” you laugh, delighting in his paternalistic fealty. “They’re doing good.”

Then, taking pity on him, you nod toward the opposite side of the room. For some unfathomable reason, the sleek design aesthetic required that the wall paneling conceal all the door frames. “Bathroom’s in that corner over there.”

You get up to reach for his cloak, draping it tidily over the back of a nearby armchair. When you sense him standing behind you, the breath catches your throat.

It's his turn to use the shower. Is he planning to undress out here, right in front of you? What did that mean?

Keep it together, Thuli! You have no idea how the next eight hours will unfold, so try not to get ahead of yourself. There’s no way to avoid the awkwardness of building intimacy with someone. Still, it’s not like you to be shy about it, either.

You love to come out of the gate swinging…?

“So,” you sigh softly, looking at him over your shoulder. “Am I allowed to walk around in my underwear now?”

Packing your robe for a day’s long journey seemed a bit excessive at the time—thank the gods, that’s never stopped you before.

Sure, you could change back into the clothes you wore for the fake identification photos. But why make more work for him? Mando will thank you for saving him the trouble of taking them off again.

Wait. No. That’s not fair. Just because you’re ready doesn’t mean—

“When have you ever waited for my permission to do exactly as you please?” He says in that enticingly gruff voice, brushing past you.

Ooof, maintaining your composure will be hard if he insists on putting up the hardened Mandalorian act. An excited shiver is already rippling over your skin. And you’re sure the thin robe did very little to hide your pinched nipples.

Erenada, save me!

You need to slow down and stop jumping to conclusions. Just because he bought that mask doesn’t mean you can pressure him with expectations.

Remember, this was all new for him. Well, not the sex part. But the sex without clothes on part? Definitely, the sex with someone he cares about part.

And who’s to say you would jump straight to the main event—

“Is there any hot water left?”

Oblivious to your internal struggles, he crouches down to remove the leather greaves from his shins.

Right. Effortlessly captivating. You are effortlessly captivating.

“You’re pretty eager to get in that fresher for someone who swore we didn’t need one.”

Mando places his greaves and weaponry on a table nestled against the armchair. “I never said I didn’t want a shower. I questioned whether it needed to have eight jets and a tub.”

With all the close calls in Daiyu City, you both agreed it would be wise to switch shuttles for the return journey back to the Crest. And since you had some money left over after bargaining down Gwellis, you’d coerced the bounty hunter into an upgrade.

“I think you’re going to like those jets. One in particular is quite…vigorous.”

Mando huffs, shaking his head. Gripping the tips of his fingers, he carefully removes each glove along with the gauntlets, setting them down beside his greaves.

“You going to watch me undress?” He asks wryly.

Mmm-hmm.

“If you let me,” you reply with more confidence than you really feel. In fact, you’re oddly nervous navigating this tension between eagerness and restraint. Unsure of how to show both.

You hold your breath in anticipation, but he doesn’t tell you to look away.

“Here,” you extend a hand out to him. “I’ll help…”

When the Mandalorian nods, you hop onto the square back of the chair and reach for his arm. Doing your best not to get distracted by his massive presence looming over you, you place his forearm across your lap so you can work with both hands to release the steel hinges.

Fortunately, your fingers remain nimble despite the intensity of his fixed attention. The gods only knew what he was thinking.

After removing both vambraces, you pause. You could take off the thigh plates next, before—

Yes. Well, there were the thigh plates and pauldrons first...

Your movements are clumsy, unlatching the heavy plates while balancing atop the flat but narrow back of the chair. You hear him snickering when you wobble precariously, stretching your hands out for the pauldrons. He decides to remove them himself, handing you each one to stack neatly on the table.

You had wanted to reach down for his belt—for him to let you this time—but he unbuckles it without hesitation and pulls it from his waist without a word.

Then, unexpectedly, he leans forward to grip the back of the chair, his bare hands settling on either side of your hips, shoulders framing you. If you sat up straighter and lifted your chin, you’d be kissing—if he wasn’t wearing the helmet, that is.

Your heartbeat starts to echo against your ribcage. Badump, badump.

“Go on,” he says, pretending like he isn’t smirking under that Beskar.

“Are you enjoying seeing me get flustered?”

“I am. It’s very satisfying, given how cocky you usually are with your little winks.”

Rolling your eyes, your fingers reach for the flak vest, pausing when you notice the silk stitches. A relic from that first night on Dorouma, when he almost died on your exam table. Of all the turns your life had taken, did you ever expect to be here, together on this tiny ship, looking up at this indomitable warrior, with his heartfelt confessions of love still ringing in your ears?

“What’s that look?” Mando asks.

“Mmm? Oh, nothing.”

The stitches are trim and even, but you blush, feeling guilty for needlessly ripping the fabric. You didn’t know then about the thin metal closures concealed along either side of his back and embedded in the leather shoulder straps. It’s what let him remove the armor without disturbing his helmet.

“Your eyes,” he catches you off-guard, taking your chin in his hand to lift your face up to the light. “It’s faint, but the sheen and color are returning.”

You tamp down on the little trill of panic rising in your chest. The Mandalorian’s fingers felt cool against your flushed skin. The press of his consciousness beckoned, but you ignore it, holding it back until the right moment.

“I wanted to make sure it would regrow, before I…”

What you don’t tell him is that you wanted to ensure that if this really would be your first time together, you’d look like yourself—not some woman who’d never existed.

“I’m glad you can pick up the color through the view plate. I wasn’t sure if it could.”

“One of the filters only neutralizes density, so I see things with the same detail you do. More or less.” Mando’s thumb gently strokes the downy hair along your cheek. “Like when you’re blushing.”

Ha! Ahhh…

The bounty hunter laughs when you have nothing to say in response.

“You’re pretty cute, all hot and bothered.” He steps back from the armchair to remove the remaining vest. With the Beskar plate and tassets, it’s heavier than you expected, forcing you to place a foot on the ground for balance as you pivot to lay it on the table.

Behind you, the Mandalorian wraps an arm around your waist, and you nearly fall off the chair in surprise.

“Why are you so nervous?”

That’s a great question. A few hours ago, you’d brazenly reached between his legs to stroke his cock. Why are you feeling so apprehensive? All your bravado had dissolved into an anxious knot of fear and trepidation in your stomach.

“It’s just…I’m scared of…”

“Of me?”

Mando immediately removes his hand from your waist, voice full of concern.

“No!” You say urgently, trying to reassure him. “Sorry, I’m making this more awkward than…I’m scared that if I’m not careful…I’ll…I’ll do something inappropriate.” Your words are so quiet, it’s a miracle he can even hear you.

He remains confused, nonetheless. “When have you ever worried about what’s appropriate?”

“Well, I want to respect your boundaries. But I’m not quite sure what they are, so…” You look up at him. “Last time, I got carried away and did something wrong. And I’m afraid that if that happens again…you won’t trust me anymore.”

That’s part of the truth, anyway. You don’t know how to put your other fears into words. That what you’re most afraid of is rejection. That all this joy and excitement is just weaving another rug for him to pull out from under you.

What if you let yourself surrender to desire, and when he’s finally naked and undone between your legs—he shuts down again?

“I got carried away, too.” He sighs thoughtfully, reaching up to hold your face between his hands. “I only let myself think as far ahead as what I wanted…until I realized I didn’t know what came next. Or after.”

You rest your hands over his, your luminous violet eyes imploring him to continue.

“But I couldn’t think through those questions with you spread over my lap, so I just…stopped.” Mando’s gaze fell to the floor. “I still haven’t apologized for that. I tried to pull you closer, only to push you away. While I don’t exactly have relationship experience, I understand that women don’t like it when you try to have it both ways.”

“No one likes emotional whiplash,” you shrug.

“Fair enough,” he concedes. “Then I saw how much I hurt you and…I’m sorry.”

“Thanks for that. I just hope you can understand why I’m…you know, slightly cautious about the uncertainty.”

“I understand,” he nods, looking up at you again.

“Like now. I want to help you with the sleeves—but the neck seal is attached. What if I bump your helmet? Is it ok if I touch it? Is that a taboo? I know I’m overthinking things,” you throw your hands up, feeling at a loss. “That’s why I’m coming across as nervous.”

“Yeah. The helmet…complicates things.” Mando runs his fingers over his jaw beneath the Beskar. “But I might have a solution.”

Oh, thank the gods, we’re finally going to talk about this! Somehow, you’d found the patience to wait for him to bring it up on his own. That’s at least one test of moral courage you’ve passed today.

“Alright,” you say, sitting up straighter. And since it felt too much like lying to pretend you don’t already know what he’s talking about, “I’d be happy to, um, put on the mask. If that’s what you want.”

“How did you—”

“I walked down the aisle you were browsing,” you awkwardly hoist your shoulders up to your ears in feigned innocence. “What can I say? My skills of deduction are just that good.”

He huffs in disbelief, and you let out a soft chuckle. “I don’t know whether I should be offended by your astonishment that I’m capable of the most basic level snooping—or terrified since you agreed to let me go undercover for this job.”

“Now that you mention it…” he brushes a few damp tendrils of hair from your face, his tone growing somber. “I’m not thrilled about the idea.”

“Because you’re worried or because you’re going to miss me?”

“It can be both.” Then, the bounty hunter draws back seriously. “Do you know how to use a knife?”

“Use a knife…Is this where I make a joke about the pointy end?”

Mando let out a frustrated sigh. “Can you use a knife to defend yourself? They’re not going to let you carry a blaster, but they might let a woman keep a knife. I can show you a few moves.”

You remind yourself that weapons and combat training must be some type of Mandalorian love language. It’s sweet, really.

Grabbing hold of his arms—his thick, muscular arms—“Mando, I survived six years of active war zones. If you want me to take a knife, I will. But I’ll be okay,” and you turn him around so you can work on unfastening the neck seal. “Trust me, I spent most of my childhood practicing how to be invisible and overlooked.”

“I find that hard to believe, given that I’ve met you.”

“Oh, ha-ha! What did you say before? I’m making up for lost time. I spent so much of my life with my head down that once I started talking, I couldn’t stop myself.” You have to climb artfully onto your knees to reach all of the snaps when a sudden thought seizes you, and you lean over his shoulder to whisper, “I was also raised to be a sacred virgin, and look how that turned out.”

The Mandalorian snorts with so much force that he has to cough to avoid choking.

“Wow!” You exclaim, sitting back on your heels. “Don’t be a jerk. Is it that shocking? I kept that vow of chastity until the day I left, I’ll have you know.”

He turns to look at you, thumping his chest for more air. “Is that really the first thing you did with your freedom?”

“Argh! You are such–” he catches the first fist you aim at his stomach, “a punchable—” but you manage to land the second, “jerk!”

“Sorry,” he continues to laugh, holding your fist in his hand. “That’s just–ahem—not what I expected you to say. I thought you were a princess or something.”

“You thought I was a runaway princess?”

“Something like that.”

“Sounds romantic. What made you think I was a princess?”

“Asks the woman who needs eight shower jets?” Mando scoffs.

This time, you punch him in the ribs.

“Ow! Not bad. You put some force behind that one.”

He shrugs out of the armored sleeves and tosses them onto the table. Have you ever seen him in just the flight suit before? The thick fabric perfectly outlined the muscular plains of his body—his toned arms and legs, his broad shoulders and narrow waist.

Okay, dial it down, slutty, slut, slut! Don’t rush this. It’s tough being caught between impulse and self-control. You want to climb him like a tree, but you also want to be respectful and let him set the pace.

Of course, the Mandalorian immediately puts your willpower to the test.

“It’s your bearing,” he says, resting his hands on your shoulders. “You have large breasts, but you don’t hunch. Your back is always straight, as though someone corrected your posture growing up. I thought you must be a warrior or a princess…and you’re way too squeamish about violence.”

Hmmm, what’s he talking about? It’s hard to focus with him standing so close, with his hands resting on your shoulders and your knees pressing into his thighs. You’d only picked up on one word of that.

“I knew you were checking out my tits behind that view plate.”

You expect him to be embarrassed, but instead, the Mandalorian sounds roguish. “You’d probably kick me in the nuts if you knew how much time I spent staring at your tits.”

He still hadn’t moved his hands from your shoulders, so you feel brave enough to place both palms over his chest. To your great delight, his heart begins to beat faster.

“On the contrary,” you smile up at him through your lashes, arching your back so he can get a better view. You don’t need psychic abilities to know just how much the Mandalorian worships your ample cleavage. “I like being adored.”

And it feels like the perfect occasion for one of your little winks.

All the breath he’d been holding comes out in a huff of static. “You are beautiful and kind and courageous. You’ve saved my life many times.” Mando’s fingers trace up the back of your neck to cradle your head in his hands. “I know you don’t need me. Yet you make me want to protect you and keep you safe. I don’t understand how anyone could overlook you.”

Now you’re the one who’s breathless. You blush, feeling feverish. “I–I didn’t think you’d take my encouragement so literally.”

“And I thought you’d be better at receiving compliments,” he says wryly.

“Compliments invite the envy of the gods, Mando!”

“Is that what they tell sacred virgins to keep you modest?”

The way he says the phrase ‘scared virgins’ is remarkably obscene. He’s getting far too good with these sassy retorts.

“I already regret telling you that,” you groan. Then, staring up into his view plate, you confess in a dizzying rush before you lose your nerve. “My motives were more shameless. I want the adoration of your body. I was hoping you would grope me or kiss me.”

He seems to weigh this statement with the same grave consideration that he approached everything, even as his hands tangle into your hair. “It can be both.”

*************

“How does that feel?”

It’s silky and soft. It had cushioning around the eyes and nose bridge that blocked out all surrounding light, as well as keeping the mask in place. The bands rest snuggly behind your ears, cinching at the base of your skull.

“Secure. Do you want to try it?” You offer earnestly. “So you can see for yourself?”

“No,” he says. “If you say it’s secure, I believe you.”

You reach out blindly to confirm he’s still standing in the same spot.

When your fingers gain purchase, you pad lightly over his arms until you reach his elbows. Finding your balance on the back of the armchair, you spread your legs further apart so you can pull him closer into the circle of your thighs. This way, you can sense, rather than see him—by the heat radiating from his body, by the smell of his sweat, and the sound of his breathing.

“Are you sure you’re ok with this?”

You laugh, resting your head on his shoulder, breaking the tension. “Just nervous that I might actually kick you in the nuts by accident.”

“I’ll be very careful of your knees,” he says, laughing too.

Mando places his hands around your waist above the smooth curve of your hips. Through the whisper-thin fabric of your robe, you feel the hard calluses of his fingers, and your body tingles with anticipation, aching to feel his touch on your skin.

You can tell there’s still so much else he needed to say, but it’s hard to care about any of that now.

Suddenly, all that mattered was to coax this yearning from him so it would surround you both in a haze of unbridled desire. When his hands slide up your back and over your shoulders, down the length of your arms, you gasp at the touch of his thumbs tracing the contours of your breasts.

It’s nothing compared to the sound that spills from the modulator as your hands run up his torso to stroke the hard muscles of his chest. He’s surprisingly warm beneath your palms, rubbing them over his sides, his stomach, and pecs.

You can tell the sensation—someone caressing his body—is new to him. Overwhelming.

His hands grip your wrists, and you brace yourself to stop.

“Will you help me with this?”

With what? Another trill of panic surges in your stomach as your fingertips brush against the cold Beskar. You tremble, your mind conjuring a dozen fearful thoughts about dropping the helmet, of desecration and iconoclasm. But his hands remain full of surety, guiding you to lift it up and over his head.

Then, you do almost drop it.

When you feel the warmth of his breath against your cheeks, all conscious thought vanishes.

You’re vaguely aware of him setting it down, the thud of metal impacting the wooden surface of the table. But all you can focus on is the sound of his breathing, inhaling and exhaling, the susurration of air passing his lips.

“Can I…?”

In answer, he raises your hands to his face.

He has a strong jawline. Angular but softened by the trim hairs of his beard, which feel surprisingly supple. His nose has a prominent bridge. You like that. An equally prominent brow line. You like that too. With a deep crease in the middle. Pfft!

“What’s funny?” He asks, his question tinged with consternation.

“I always imagined that you must be frowning under your helmet. But it’s funny…trying to imagine the subtleties of something you can’t see.”

“You think about me frowning?”

Gods, his voice is so clear. It comes out low, a deep rumble in his chest. Less gravelly than how it sounds through the modulator. Still, very sexy.

“Not as much as I think about you smiling,” you assure him truthfully. “Sometimes I think I hear it in your voice, but obviously, I can’t be certain. That’s why it’s such a relief—triumph, maybe? When I make you laugh. You should add wit and good humor to my list of virtues.”

At that, he does laugh.

“Hmmf!” A sound somewhere between a cry and a hushed whisper escapes you. “Your eyes crinkle when you smile.”

You hear the crack in your voice and quickly swallow down a sob bubbling in your throat.

“Why are you crying, Thuli?” He asks with profound concern, his hands reaching out to comfort you.

It had nothing to do with sadness. The rush of emotion—disbelief that this was actually happening, that he had taken off his helmet, and you were touching his face! Joy in the knowledge that he trusted you enough to do this. The hunger and anticipation of what happened next, how much you wanted him. It all welled up inside you, seeking release.

“I n-never thought…” you sigh. “Would you say my name again?”

“Thulindahra,” he rolls the smooth syllables over his tongue before placing a tender kiss on your forehead. “Thulani,” you feel the brush of his warm lips on your cheek. “Thuli,” he kisses the other.

“Cyar'ika,” then his lips press against your mouth.

You know that word. Cyar'ika. Beloved. You’d stared at it in the chapter for ‘family’ in the Mando’a phrasebook you downloaded onto your data-pad. How many times had you lain in bed looking at that word?

Cyar'ika.

At first, his kiss is soft and delicate.

With your hands on his face and your lips sealed together, the connection between you is becoming increasingly fluid. But it still feels too soon for that.

You can sense his exhilaration tempered by a struggle for self-control. Which is very touching! He wants to linger and enjoy, to be present.

He deepens the kiss, and you respond by wrapping your arms around his neck, arching into him. At the press of your breasts against his chest, a sudden urgency crowded his mind. What little control he had is already melting away under the heat rising between you. His body can only process two competing impulses, closer and more.

Things are a little clumsy at first, his teeth catching on your lips because he's too impatient for your mouth to open. The Mandalorian groans at the first caress of your tongue, and when you steal it from his lips, he rocks his hips against you, his swelling erection grinding into the soft ache between your thighs.

His kisses soon become devouring in a way that makes the heat scorch right through you as your tongues twine together and slide over each other.

There’s no sound but your gasping breaths and the shift of your bodies. His open mouth trails kisses over your jaw, your throat, your collarbone, drinking in your skin. Then he returns to your mouth.

Your heart is pounding in your chest. Badump, badump, badump. Mando’s lips press against your thundering pulse, and you know he must feel how fast it’s beating for him.

A hand slides down to grip your knee, spreading your legs a bit wider so he can settle further between your thighs. A sweet jolt surges through your core when you part around the hard press of his cock despite the layers of fabric.

“Can I open your robe?” His breath is hot against your ear.

Where he found the willpower to ask permission, you have no idea. But it’s also very touching!

“So chivalrous,” you smile, and while he’s momentarily distracted you place a few kisses along his jaw and behind his ear.

“I want to do this right for you,” he says between hitched breaths.

This makes you smile wider. Of course he would imagine fucking you as a awesome responsibility. “Mando, whatever feels natural to you will be right.”

The Mandalorian pulls your robe aside to kiss your shoulder while his other hand reaches for the dip of your waist, gliding up your ribcage to cup your breast. A deep, contented sigh pours from his lips when his fingers gather its fullness into his palm.

“This is clever,” you grin, opening his flight suit from his waist to his neck.

“Hmmm,” he says distractedly. Whether that’s his response to the ingenuity of dual zippers or the feeling of your nipple budding between his fingers isn’t clear. He circles his thumb lightly around your tingling skin and kisses your breasts until the heat inside you turns into a fire that flooded your cunt with warmth.

You feel so desperately greedy for his hands, but you also want to pleasure him, too.

Carefully, you remind yourself.

You hoped that caressing him over his clothing would make his skin less sensitive, and it seems to have helped. His breath catches under your touch. Yet his body does not twitch or recoil.

He shivers and trembles wherever you drag your fingertips across his skin. There’s a lot of territory to cover! The ridges of his firm abdominals, his muscular back, and the contours of his broad chest and shoulders. But again, he does not pull away.

This makes you feel a little more comfortable about exploring him with your mouth, so you slip your fingers under the seams of his sleeves to peel them off.

Mando doesn’t protest, though perhaps you should have asked his permission? You tie his sleeves around the tantalizing jut of his hips and make a mental note to ask before tearing off his pants later.

Your lips search blindly for his nipples—you can’t see them with the mask on!—leaving a wet trail over his body. He moans, almost painfully, when the tip of your tongue slides over the pinched skin as you draw it into your mouth. Soon overcome by the sensation, he’s done the impossible and forgot about your breasts for a minute to grab you by the hips. Between your thighs, his cock throbs eagerly against you.

“Hfff, hfff,” he can’t seem to get enough air. Under your palms, his chest stutters with each heaving breath.

“Is this okay?” You ask. It’s not a selfless question. You don’t want to overwhelm him now. That would be disappointing for both of you.

You can sort of sense him nodding before he remembers that you can’t see anything with the mask on.

“Yes,” he whispers, then he buries his hand in your tangle of loose waves, fingers threading into your hair. He pulls you closer to lean his forehead against yours. “Yes,” he sighs into your mouth.

You lift your chin up to find his throat and lick at the salty skin, lips closing over the rough stubble to suck at the sharp cartilage with your soft tongue.

He responds by pulling you tight against him, his hands sliding up your back to press your body even closer. It’s an indescribable pleasure to feel your skin against his, the sensation of your supple breasts rubbing into the hard planes of his chest. The Mandalorian seemed to feel that any space separating you, even if it was only a few layers of clothing, was an intolerable cruelty. His cock must be aching.

Closer, his body demanded. More.

“Bed?” He asks, voice hazy with lust.

“Yes,” you say with breathless enthusiasm.

__________________________________________

Keep reading- Post #12: A Loving Feeling

Back to Volume 3 - all posts

#mandalorian x reader #mandalorian x you #mando smut #sexy mando #sexymando #mando x reader #mando x you #the mandalorian smut #din djarin #din djarin smut #din djarin x you #din djarin x reader #mando fanfiction #mandalorian fanfic #mandalorian smut #the mandalorian #star wars smut

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literary-illuminati · 2 years

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Books I Read In September

45. The Oleander Sword, by Tasha Suri

Pre-ordered this, and I’m entirely happy with what I got. I mean it’s got intrigue and angst and the literal and metaphorical selling of souls and lesbians and eldritch horrors and war crimes, what’s not to love?

But really, I’m pretty sure I already made the joke, but SFF lesbians and weird power dynamics around fealty and martyrdom sure are a pair, huh? (Or maybe that’s just a random bit of selection bias in the books I read/see talked about, but eh. I should catch up on Montress.)

Anyway, Malini is a joy to read, and the Yaksha are absolutely gorgeous and come across as rather believably alien, though I really do wish they weren’t quite so straightforwardly malevolent, and the temple/palace intrigues with whatever the asshole emperor’s name was and his priests was great. Can’t wait for book 3.

46. None the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir

My other pre-ordered book of the year. And look, I am largely outsourcing my opinions on this book to the ongoing 24/7 symposium digging into every bit of symbolism and possible reference in these things going on here in the tag. But, like, book good.

Also Pal and Cam, my beloveds. And Nona is adorable.

I need to go scream in the wilderness a bit again.

47. The Reluctant Fundamentalist by Mohsin Hamid

This month’s attempt to acquire some Culture, via what was apparently the most influential book of 2007 (literally recommended to me because a coworker’s book club is doing it).

But no, this was good! Very much of it’s time, though less in a ‘dated in a bad way’ way, and more in a ‘future generations of college students will get assigned this and told to write an essay about the cultural fallout of the War On Terror.’

It really, really committed to the whole ‘life story told in a conversation over dinner’ framing device, to a degree that books basically never do - the prose of the whole thing still felt conversational and like it could actually be said by one person to another. The constant asides to the cuisine being served and the order of the courses and everything did eventually start to grate, though.

The big central twist is, well, barely a twist - except that the title gives you a very definite idea of where the protagonist’s arc is going to end up that you bring with you into the book. Still, really well done.

I’m surprised you don’t see the janissarya analogy made more often in modern polemic. Shoe doesn’t exactly fit, but close enough that you’d think it’d get some use.

48. Exit Strategy by Martha Wells

I really do adore Murderbot stories. They’re just perfectly sized for a lazy afternoon or two of reading, they��ve got the plot structure of a tightly edited 40-minute tv episode, and they’re just great fun comfort reads. Perfect book pringles. (Also Murderbot is one of the greatest protagonists of all time).

This one in particular would have honestly worked pretty well as a finale to the series? Or, since it clearly isn’t, I guess ‘works as a season finale’ is the better way to put it? It resolves the central underlying plot thread that’s been running through the books so far quite nicely, anyway.

I totally admit that aside from Murderbot only, like, four characters have made a sufficient impression that I can reliably identify them by just their names, though.

49. Elder Race by Adrian Tchaikovsky

Hey, I finally finished the last Hugo nominee! Now to start feeling properly guilty about failing to answer that ask about my ranking/opinions from a month ago.

But no, this was good. The only Tchaikovsky I’d read before was Children of Time/Ruin, so this was definitely a change of pace (obvious similarities in setting aside). The whole central conceit of ‘fantasy setting is actually the result of an apocalypse destroying a technologically advanced civilization and the descendents of the survivors viewing the remnants as magical relics and sorcery’ is so thoroughly cliche I think people just stopped writing it for a couple decades, but the execution is really well done.

Nyr and Lynette are both fun POVs, anyway, and I absolutely adore anything that has multiple POVs seeing/taking part in the same events and interpreting them wildly differently. The one chapter that had two columns with Nyr providing exposition on one side and what Lynette&co actually understood him as saying on the other was great.

Tchaikovsky also did a really excellent job of capturing the whole horror and grief and ennui of being the Last Of Your Kind better than I usually see, and also saying Fuck the Prime Directive, which is always appreciated.

Also incredibly endearing that Nyr’s whole transhuman civilization gave themselves giant badass horns and then collectively decided to pretend it was for pragmatic utilitarian reasons.

50. Fugitive Telemetry by Martha Wells

Because it’s 2 murder 2 bot month, I guess (but no all my holds on these really did just come in at once).

So apparently this was actually written after the novel, which I only found out after finishing it, but chronologically it seems to have taken place before? Which conveniently means I didn’t accidentally ruin any big twists for myself.

Anyway, this was a fun detective story sort of thing. Murderbot being continuously annoyed at how much harder the lack of a dystopian panopticon made their job was a great running gag.

51. The Thousand Eyes by A. K. Larkwood

Because it’s magical lesbians month, I guess.

But no, this was a fun read. The whole setting and tone were very, hmm, D&D? Like a real mixture of super fantastical elements and generic fantasy things given different names (there are elves, and orcs, and for some reason specifically yuan-ti) and then the vision of society and the economics and the mindset and vocabulary of everyone who hasn’t been asleep in a ditch for ten thousand years is just incredibly modern. Not a complaint, it’s just very much a thing.

My actual complaint is that this was like four different discrete stories stacked on top of each other and put into a compactor until they all fit in one book. There were a lot of times where I was kind of left feeling that Larkwood was relying on me knowing how a given story/character arc goes so she could just skip through the high points and then resolve it without necessarily building it up beforehand.

(I also have a perpetual dislike for the plot beat of ‘oh no, the abusive cult who raised you was just doing their religion wrong. We’ve got a direct line to your/their god and he’s actually a great guy!’)

Interesting how minor a character Csorwe is in this one compared to Unspoken Name, really, but Shuthmili and Tal are both incredibly fun POVs so can’t say I really mind. Tsundere dragon goddess of betrayal and destruction was also a great time.

#book review #monthly tally #analysis/review #the thousand eyes #a.k. larkwood #murderbot #fugitive telemetry #exit strategy #martha wells #elder race #adrian tchaikovsky #the reluctant fundamentalist #moshin hamid #nona the ninth #tamsyn muir #the locked tomb #the oleander sword #the burning kingdoms #tasha suri

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plumadesatada · 3 months

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in honor of my silent but ongoing war with a mystery coworker over how the toilet paper should be hanged, in which each time i use the toilet I have to fix the direction of the roll, here is a poll

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ilsjia · 2 years

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good evening everyone!! i’m so glad to finally be here with everyone! my name is clem (they/them) and i am the mun behind the lovely xu jia, the kind nurse who seems a little too perfect for comfortability. it’s been a while since i’ve rped (a few months), but i’m still very excited to plot with you all and have fun connections with you all!

below the cut will be a short tl;dr on jia (though tbh her bio is alr a short ver of what i wanted to write for her... lack of creative juices atm) as well as a little bit of information on the alien that lives inside her brain! if you guys would like to plot, please like this post and i’ll make sure to send an im your way! i also have a discord that will be given upon request, as well as a twitter in the case either are easier methods of communication.

born in chengdu, jia is the second youngest child in a family of four kids, a mother, and a father

jia grew up always having to be a version of herself that she didn’t want to be because her mother was narcissistic and manipulative to all of her children. it took jia a while to realize it (aka up until her second year of high school)

her father was basically just listening to what his wife told him to do and didn’t really have a voice of his own because he believed that she knew what was best for the family

only her and her little brother know how much of a maniac her mother is

after a successful business deal, her father told the family that they would be moving to south korea. with a new start in a new country, jia took the opportunity to also become a new version of herself by officially deciding to act on her own terms from now on.

fast forward to university: jia is introduced to her first love during one of the shared classes that they have together. it doesn’t take long for her to realize she has a crush and all of a sudden, the two begin to date.

with the both of them having rocky relationships with their family, seojun (mentioned bf) proposes to her and she accepts, knowing that if she were to run away from her past life, she’d do it with him

thus, they elope to the town of ilsang!

jia’s excited to live in ilsang for the first few weeks since moving there but all of a sudden... things get a little fishy (aka the alien gets into her brain)

jia’s alien is in the process of trying to adjust to jia’s life and brain, thus it hasn’t completely taken over jia’s body. because of that, jia’s brain is literally like an ongoing tug-of-war competition between her own self and her alien where they see who gains complete control of her body versus who clocks out

jia’s alien’s goal is to make sure that jia is living the perfect life because it wants to live the ideal life that the sitcoms portray. however, this is unfortunate to jia bc she just accepted that she is imperfect and she ran away from being forced to perfection because that’s also what her mother wanted from her

so basically she’s just back in the situation she ran away from except she’s fully cautious AND there’s nothing she can do about it

she just lives a rough life and no one is aware of it bc no one sees the little thing in her brain!

now some little plots!

fellow nurse coworkers with jia! it’d be even funnier if you’re the case file nurse who started getting clumsy bc u both have aliens in ur brain

anyone who frequents the clinic and witnesses jia’s perfect work ethic and always congratulate her on it not even knowing that half of it was just the alien taking her credit

u see jia wandering around in a grocery store and she doesn’t seem to be there for a goal. in fact, she does something a bit out of character: wander around the grocery store. because the real xu jia knows what she’s looking for.

you think that jia is acting a little too wonderful and you begin to suspect something. and while the real xu jia is ecstatic that you noticed something, it’s the alien who is assuring you that everything is fine and making sure that you don’t think otherwise.

the real xu jia hates medical dramas because of how inaccurate they are. but all of a sudden, you see jia at the local diner looking absolutely hooked on reruns of hospital playlist (side note: mun has not watched hospital playlist)

you’re busy wanting to know more about jia’s life because she’s just moved in a few months ago with her fiance! you wanna know everything about her life but fail to recognize that she herself doesn’t seem to know what’s going on in her own life either besides the fact that she works at a clinic and lives with some weirdo who is constantly on his computer and tries to kiss her all the time.

you run into a gloomier jia and it surprises you seeing her look so down when she’s usually sporting a smile on her face at her workplace and out in public.... what you don’t realize is that you’ve been tricked by the other her and this is the rare time where you see the real her. and she’s distressed because of this situation, but it’s not like she can tell you about it because she doesn’t understand what’s going on with her herself!

you see jia looking as happy as if nothing is wrong with her life... which is odd... because just the other day, you saw her look completely miserable. how is she able to move on from... whatever was worrying her so easily?

you’re wanting to ask jia about how she feels with her job as a nurse, but are a little startled with how jia’s only mentioning facts that everyone knows about the medical field but not the gritty topics.

#ilsintro #( 🧠 OUT OF CRANIUM )#and now i will make eggs

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khwohsahnt · 2 years

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LEVI ACKERMAN X READER FIC RECS

Multichapter

— most of these fics are 18+ so minors, go away shoo

✱ Crossing the Line by ponderingapollo ongoing

canonverse

you’re distracted so ur captain confronts u with a very sexy and spicy solution 👀

✱ Kiss It Better by darlingheichou ongoing

modern au

mutual pining

levi is bad at feelings but he gets over it v cute so far

✱ Silver Soul by oi_levi ongoing

in which you and levi navigate through life post war! u and levi own a cute lil tea shop

i have nothing to say this fic has me on chokehold

post canon

✱ Hey Hemingway by oi_levi discontinued

hs and university au, levi is a football player it’s only started but it’s already so fucking good

✱ Percolate by heichoe completed

coffee shop au, college au

enemies to lovers

i am on my knees for this fic

if you’re not reading this then idk what you’re doing

✱ Moon River by lacheri ongoing

…..french sexy levi…you know it already

coworkers au

levi is so hot here wtf

i love this series, it’s really beautifully written

✱ Superior series by wikelia ongoing

canonverse, reader is a badass - will not take shit from levi

enemies to lovers!!!¡

hoT LEVI idk why but astrid writes him so hot

✱ No Funny Business by wellitcouldbeworse completed

reader and levi one night stand, turns out levi is reader’s boss at her new job

sweet sweet smut 😌

my fave trope: fwb to lovers

✱ Spite by wellitcouldbeworse completed

reader has amnesia and completely forgets everything but levi helps her remember

✱ The Feeling’s Mutual by wellitcouldbeworse ongoing

college au, academic rivalry, enemies to lovers HELLO???? whats not to love it’s only been 3 chapters and i am snorting so hard

anyway i love it the banter is so good give it a read right noW

Oneshots

✱ already always almost do by heich0e

levi is your big brother erwin’s bestie

levi is ur childhood crush

implied age gap but not that big

liv if you see this part 2 pls

✱ happy birthday, i love you by sakurashell

hella cute and fluffy

✱ Enchanted by xokiddo

this is hella short BUT painfully sweet

i read this thrice i think

✱ Dante’s Inferno by alrightberries

fluff

roomies and bestfriend!levi

✱ Just Like Heaven by PonderingApollo

angst to fluff

band au

✱ Iced Tea by miekasa

super fluffy, one of my fave comfort fics

college au

this is my only contribution probably to the snk or specifically levi fandom lmao so anyway here are my fave reader insert fics and one i’m currently reading!

editing this as i go, i’ll add more stuff one of these days

#levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #snk x reader #levi x you #levi x y/n #levi ackerman #levi x reader fic recs #levi ackerman fic recs #fic recs: levi

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purpleyoonn · 3 years

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Masterlist

Individual Masterlist

One Shot Masterlist

This is my main poly bts master list and will include all of my poly bts works including fics, one shots, and drabbles.

Key:

💕 poly relationship 💣mafia 🔥 smut

🐥 hybrid ❤️‍🩹 angst 🌹 soulmate

🦕 slow burn 💜 fluff 🌙 yandere

🐺 werewolf 💼 ceo 🧛🏻 vampire

SERIES

the Little Fox 💕 🐥 🦕 💜 ❤️‍🩹 🌹🔥

“The idea of being free was a foreign concept. Being free meant having choices, having opportunities. Being a hybrid meant never being free.”

Just as you escaped the Little Fox, a bidding house, you find yourself at war with your thoughts, not wanting to go to another shelter. You didn’t expect yourself to find a home anywhere, especially not with the men who found you, and their pack.

Status: Complete

Ethereal 💣 💕 ❤️‍🩹 🔥 🌙

“She’s mad but she’s magic.

There’s no lie in her fire.”

~ Charles Bukowski

After leaving your home in need of a fresh start, you open a bookstore with the hopes that the words you read could bring you solace. You never realized that the books you loved would bring you home instead.

Status: Complete

Petrichor 💕 🐺 💼 ❤️‍🩹 💜 🌹 🦕 🔥

Petrichor /ˈpeˌtrīkôr/ (noun)

“a pleasant smell that frequently accompanies the first rain after a long period of warm, dry weather.”

You had been working at Bangtan Corporation for almost two years now, and not once have you ever laid eyes on your bosses. That was, until you met them when out with some of your coworkers. Now, you almost wish you hadn’t. Almost.

Status: Ongoing

baby (you complete us) 💕 ❤️‍🩹 💜 🌹🔥

Soulmates were a common occurrence, so common, in fact, that the world sought an easier way to find your other half: A bracelet that would scan your mark and match you with those who shared your mark. Within recent years, soul groups were becoming normal, and your own bracelet said you have seven matches.

Or where you wear your bracelet for ten years, and finally give up the hope you would find your soul group, only for BTS to put theirs on and see what they were missing.

Status: Ongoing

Dance of Time 💕 🧛🏻 ❤️‍🩹 💜🌹🔥🌙

“A love like that was a serious illness, an illness from which you never entirely recover.” -Bukowski

You were finally back in the hometown you left right after graduation, researching the mysterious manor that laid outside of the town limits. Your family was acting weird, and the owner of the manor seemed to know more about you than he should. Everything changed when you entered the manor, and you weren’t sure your dance with time was going to last very long.

Ongoing (random updates)

The Line Between Love and War ❤️‍🩹 💕 💜 🔥 🌹

“It is said that the night sky is made up of tiny wishes that humans were never able to fulfill. That the stars only became bright by the fulfillment of those wishes. In your eyes, the stars that shine never seemed real, your childhood wishes dark and dim as you grow. But now, now you understand the twinkle in their eyes as they look down at you.”

Your experiences told you that soulmates were something you would never have the pleasure of having; something not given to you because of who you are, despite the soulmark that resides on your inner left wrist. During your solo trip to Los Angeles, you find out that you are more than capable, that your soulmates had been waiting for you for a long time, and would not be letting you go anytime soon.

Status: Ongoing (random updates)

enchanted 💜 🔥 🌹❤️‍🩹

“I’ll spend forever wondering if you knew I was enchanted to meet you.”

The realm under King Min’s rule had been under war for over thirty years, a war within the inhuman species with origins no one knows. Your presence was brought into awareness when found by the king under the rubble of your home. You are plunged into a world you had only ever seen from the outside, and don’t know how long you can last.

status: ongoing (random updates)

A Comforting Hand 💕🐥💜 ❤️‍🩹🌹🔥

“A comforting hand is one that can soothe any situation. Arriving here, and being able to breathe freely without fear of making a sound, you decide then and there that Taehyung had become your comforting hand.”

You had begun to lose all hope of ever seeing the outside of your cage again. A new neighbor arrives and slowly begins to break down your heavily guarded walls, his growls providing your safety as you both face what it means to be an animal.

Status: On Hold

A Bond Made Of Love 💕🐥💜 ❤️‍🩹🌹🔥

“I will protect you from all around you. I will be here don’t you cry. For one so small, you seem so strong. My arms will hold you, keep you safe and warm… ‘Cause you’ll be in my heart. Yes, you’ll be in my heart. From this day on now and forever more. You’ll be in my heart no matter what they say, you’ll be here in my heart always.”

-Phill Collins

Your last owner had almost beaten you to death, leaving you at the very shelter he had adopted you from. This time, two tall men walk in, immediately drawn to you as you rested in your small cage. You couldn’t help but become attached, just hoping you wouldn’t be abandoned once again by the idols you grow to love.

Status: On Hold

DRABBLES

From the Little Fox Universe:

This Is Halloween

It was your first Halloween with the boys and you were adamant about choosing your own costume for Trick-Or-Treating. Despite some setbacks, you were able to choose your costume and get some treats.

Out Now

From the Ethereal Universe:

Hocus Pocus

Once you found out the boys had never celebrated Halloween before, you decide to throw them your very own Halloween party, fit with spooky snacks and scary movies. You were determined to show them why Halloween was your favorite holiday.

Out now

From the Little Fox universe:

‘Twas the Night Before Christmas

For you first Christmas with your mates, you had wanted to shop for and wrap the presents on your own, unsure if they would like the presents or not. However, after you end up using almost all of the wrapping paper you had bought trying to wrap a single present, you enlist the help of one of your mates.

Out Now

00:00

“and you’re gonna be happy…and you’re gonna be happy. when everything is new, zero o’clock”

When everything seems to go wrong, you come home to the comfort of your boys and realize that maybe the universe isn’t against you.

Out Now

-------------------------------------------------------

ONE SHOTS

mean kitty, soft kitty

Your injured form was the last thing Jin had expected when waking up one morning. But after healing you, and watching you leave, he wished he would wake up to you again, if only to see if you were okay. The rest of his home felt the same way, and when a storm comes, it brings you back to the men who made you feel safe.

posted 04/22

---------------------------------------------

Crumble

“You are ours, little one. And we would crush the world in our fists, watch it crumble to pieces just to make sure it remains so.”

You had decided to make a change, not realizing your men would notice. The consequences bring to light your own insecurities, with which the boys decide it’s time you realize how precious you are to them.

posted 09/06

Eye Of The Beholder

As you begin to notice minute details unseen to you before, you start to realize that what you thought was the truth, was anything but. The people you thought were acquaintances had different ideas of their meaning in your life, and needed to show you who they really were to you.

Posted 09/12

--------------------------------------------

These works nor any part of their content may be republished, reproduced, translated or used in any manner without the express permission of purpleyoonn. These are works of fiction. The names, characters, places and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

#masterlist #purpleyoonn #main masterlist #ethereal #the little fox #petrichor #a comforting hand #drabbles #bts #bts au #bts fics #a bond made of love #crumble #mean kitty soft kitty

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ggukkiereads · 3 years

Note

ik ur on hobi lockdown rn but when u get the chance can u recommend some married bts fics? except the marriage is kind of on the rocks but it works out in the end. lmao this is rlly specific but i’m just craving it

🌷 LOL 😂 Since you're so nice that you noticed my Hobi Lockdown 😁, here are fics I remember with the scenario you mentioned. A lot of these I have yet to re-read so details might be hazy (so if I remember it as a happy ending but it actually isn't, please forgive me 😁). There are also recent fics that I haven't read yet so I probably missed a lot.

Marriage on the Rocks Type of Fics

*updated - I just remembered some fics

Yoongi

I Feel You in my Heart @purpletaecup - ongoing series | divorce au. feat Jungkook | Angst ~ you can subscribe to the fic so you’re notified once there’s an update 🥰

Divorce @xjamlessparkx - completed series [17/17] (read this long time ago but it has a happy ending...I think?)

Cut Me Open @hayjeon - two shot | married au (but falling apart), medical au, surgeon au (spin off of the Jungkook fic Cardiovascular Palpitations) | A, F, S (i included this in the coworker yoongi rec list too!)

Away From You @personasintro - ongoing series [16/?] | divorce au

After the Honeymoon Fades @onherwings - one shot | okay, so they’re not really married but the way their relationship is written, feels like it is. It’s also one of my favorite on-the-verge-of-breaking-up fics and actually the first fic I thought of when I saw your ask 🥰 [author removed the fic on tumblr, added alt link]

Sticky Notes @threeletterslife - one shot | like LDR but they still live together (engaged) and they use sticky notes to communicate 😢

Honeymoon Horrors @/jimlingss - drabble but this is perfect! it’s actually funny too! yet there’s so much longing ugh. someone sent the author an ask what happened after the drabble so please read the follow-up imagine here

Jungkook

Jaded by chasinghorizons (ao3) - marriage tension ugh this is good and realistic. Also check Rain by nijoon

Second Chances @parkhabits - one shot | headed for divorce, estranged~ (I have to say it’s been so long since I’ve read this but I saw a note I made in 2018 with the ff. emojis: 😭😭😭🥰🥰 - so it ended well 😅)

Taking Chances @neonlights92 - one shot | arranged marriage but OC wants to dissolve arrangement | smutty tones 😉

Don’t Leave Me + part 2 @kpopmademyday - two-part drabble | arranged marriage x jerk jungkook ~ okay, I’ve read this a long time ago so I don’t know if there are other drabbles. I just remember JK’s trying to make things work, there’s a park, someone threw water, etc.

Wherever There is You @vinterjeon - one shot | marriage on the rocks | this is the first fic of the author I’ve read and then I binged on their ongoing fics after 🥰🥰

Arranged Marriage @yeontantrash - one shot | gang au, arranged marriage but she keeps trying to leave him. fluffy ending 🥰 |

Thinning Thread @flowerwrites06 - one shot | divorce au | A, S, F (thank you dear author for reuploading this =))

Heartbreak Anniversary @pbandjk - drabble | about to divorce | exes who has to share bed during daughter’s birthday (OC’s parents didn’t know about the breakup)

There’s a Jungkook fic I remember where they’re headed for divorce and OC went back in time to change the situation. It’s unavailable but if it gets reposted I’ll update this 😉.

Seokjin

Fall in Hatred @jimlingss - one shot | marriage au

When the Sea Sleeps @taecalikook - one shot | starting to question their marriage which used to be ‘convenient’ before

We Go to War by seraphicserendipity [AO3] - series [9/9] | socialites, PR stunt marriage (👍)

Taehyung

Love is Not Over @rookiegukie - uhm they’ve been divorced so it’s not exactly a marriage!au but I just want to recommend it lol

One Night Stand @sodoyouknowbts - completed series + drabble (daddy!taehyung 🥰) accidental pregnancy x got married but seems not working out

All This Stigma @army-author - two shot | 14.9k | fwb au, accidental pregnancy, arranged marriage 😭💖 (I love how angsty this is!)

Hoseok

Love Me Again @adoringjjk - one shot | CEO Hoseok

Dalliance @sugaurora - one shot | sort of cheating, but not really? | this is not even angsty, I swear. I read this on AO3 and found out author has tumblr too! You can follow on either platform

Most of my favorite Hoseok fics with this theme have been deleted or it didn’t end well (angsty ending) - if anyone has Hoseok fics to recommend, please feel free to share 🥰

Jimin

The Arrangement @kpoptart216 - series 14/14 | arranged marriage

Of course, Faded Love by jamaisjoons which I probably included in every fic rec list.

There’s another Jimin fic I can’t remember the title of 😭. Like they’re in the middle of divorce proceedings because she thinks he’s cheating on her and Namjoon is OC’s lawyer. It’s angsty then it turned smutty (help! if anyone knows this fic 😥) - UPDATE: I just remembered the fic. It's Gratuitous Redemption by minjoonalist but it's been deleted 😭

Namjoon

Stitches @glassbangtan - one shot | got married early

Mad Passion has similar themes, I think? Not on the verge of breaking up but they need to fix some issues in their marriage.

🥰 Please note that the fics are NOT mine. Please show these authors love by reblogging their fics, giving them feedback, and engaging in any positive interaction you can think of!

🌷 posted: 2021 Feb 19 | updated: 2021 May 16 (added Heartbreak Anniversary JJK)

#🌷 chats #asks #BTS fanfic #bts x reader #bts marriage au #bts divorce au #jungkook x reader #yoongi x reader #taehyung x reader #jimin x reader #hoseok x reader #seokjin x reader #none for namjoon x reader #bts angst #ggukkiereadingcollection #🌙 anon

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heliads · 3 years

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Deserve You

Based on this request: “Bucky imagine where you're dating but you're not an avenger, so you sometimes feel not good at all for him even though he loves you more than anything. one time he comes from a mission to you waiting in his room, doubting again but he immediately tries getting this thought out of you and gives you his dog tags to prove he's yours forever and it's all cute then? :)”

masterlist

You open your eyes gradually, the last remnants of sleep being dragged away by the brightness of dawn. You allow yourself one final moment of lingering silence before sitting up with a yawn. A brief spurt of panic flashes across you when you realize that you’re alone in your bed, but then you hear a quiet noise from the kitchen and your pulse begins to settle once more. Bucky must have already gotten up, there’s no need to worry.

You keep having moments like this, where you turn to find yourself alone and keep thinking that this is it, that he’s finally left you. Then you mentally chide yourself for thinking that way- every single one of the Avengers that you’ve met on your trips to the old Stark Tower keeps talking about how Bucky’s head over heels for you, so why would he ghost you out of nowhere? You always smile for a second, thinking about your boyfriend, and then the doubt creeps back in and you glance around to find him. Every single time, without fail, those lurking remnants of doubt always worm back into your mind, and sometimes it feels like there’s nothing you can do to get rid of them.

The only available option is to find Bucky and put your mind at ease by knowing that he’s still here. So, you slide your legs out of the still-warm blankets, grimacing at the shock of the cold air, and pad over to the kitchen. Sure enough, Bucky is holding a mug of some hot beverage, maybe coffee or tea, and staring out the window at the city below him. He does this, sometimes, just watches the city like he could do it for hours. You have a feeling that he’s studying the city for any last lingering resemblance to the New York he’d grown up in, when the most pressing news was World War II and he didn’t see himself in Siberia for anything more than a ski trip, if he could put together enough pennies to afford it. However, life has a way of throwing you for a loop, and all of Bucky’s plans for the future evaporated as soon as he plummeted from the train all those years ago.

Bucky turns when he hears you approach. “Good morning.” You smile, joining him by the window. “Good morning yourself. Are you up early for an assignment or because of a nightmare?” Bucky frowns. “The latter. Did I wake you? I thought I was quiet.” You shake your head. “No, I was asleep the whole time. I just knew because you have that same look on your face after you have your nightmares.” Bucky laughs quietly. “And here I thought I was supposed to be the spy who knew everything. Sure you don’t want a job at S.H.I.E.L.D.?”

You raise your eyebrows. “I’m not sure that paying attention to my boyfriend really qualifies me for FBI: Avengers Edition, but I’ll keep it in mind.” You head over to the fridge, starting to pull out some items for breakfast. Bucky leaves within a few minutes, mumbling something about an early morning meeting, and you head to work yourself soon after. Your own workplace is no Avengers Tower, just a typical office building, and you slide into your seat just in time to start the day.

The morning itself is fairly uneventful, and you’re just starting to think that it’s going to be another boring day as usual when you head off to your lunch break. As you’re waiting in line to use the microwave, you hear a pair of women talking at a table near you. You had no intention of eavesdropping, but although their voices are fairly loud your attention was hooked from the beginning when you realize they’re talking about Bucky. More specifically, they’re talking about Bucky’s girlfriend, or lack thereof.

Ever since you started dating Bucky, he had been careful to keep you out of the public eye. When you work as an Avenger for long enough, you learn to keep everyone important to you out of focus, out of danger. If a HYDRA agent got word of the former Winter Soldier’s girlfriend, you’d be on a train to Siberia with handcuffs and a blindfold within the hour, a ransom request already placed on your head. That’s if they were patient- if not, they would just shoot you to send a message. By making sure nobody heard about you, Bucky could keep you safe.

The downside of this is times like now, when you have to listen to two of your coworkers discussing how strange it is that a man as attractive as James Barnes would still be single. Obviously, you can’t say anything, and you’re not sure that they’d believe you if you tried, but it’s still slightly uncomfortable to hear the conversation swirling around you even as you have to stay silent.

One of the women clicks her tongue in confusion. “I mean, isn’t it weird, though? He’s a friend of Tony Stark, there’s no doubt he’d have a shortage of girls who’d be willing to go out to a bar or something on a weekend.” The other woman laughs. “I bet that surplus of girls includes you, right?” The first woman grins cheekily. “I wouldn’t say no if he asked, but even I don’t have a chance. I mean, he’s an Avenger, and one of the hottest ones there. No one here could hold a candle to him. He saves lives on a daily basis and what do we do, sit around all the time? The only woman I could see him with is an agent or maybe Black Widow. At least then he’d be dating someone who’s his equal.”

The words feel like shards of ice threading through your heart, and you turn to go back to your desk, hunger suddenly forgotten. As you stare at your work, though, you find you can’t concentrate. You keep hearing what the women had said, that no one in this miserable office could be worthy of dating the famous Avenger Bucky Barnes. They’re right, aren’t they? Bucky was saving lives all the time while you complained and acted so needy. You sigh to yourself, feeling your spirits dampen by the second. Why did Bucky see in you anyway?

Bucky’s shoulders feel like they’ve been carved from stone. He’s been tense for so long that he’s certain he’ll never be able to move again. Today is the day that he has to begin reviewing case files from his time as a Winter Soldier. He’ll have to come face to face with photo and video evidence of all the wrongs he’s done, of all the killings and blood shed by his own damaged hands. He’s been trying to avoid it for a while, but S.H.I.E.L.D. needs his input on all of the past Winter Soldier missions in order to proceed with the ongoing investigations into the last HYDRA strongholds. Bucky has no choice but to confront his past, he knows that, but it doesn’t make his job any easier.

It’s not like he’s alone, though. Natasha is here, because her experience with the Red Room could prove useful with putting together some pieces of the HYDRA-Siberia-Soviet puzzle that’s been plaguing them for some time now. Steve is also here, one door down, looking at his old medical files that detail exactly how some brilliant scientists turned a scrawny kid with a death wish when it came to standing up to bullies into the strongest man of the century.

Bucky clenches his jaw, and turns back to the manila file folder in his hand. He flips it open, taking out the diagrams and security camera stills and laying them out onto the table before him as he reads. He’s flipping through the rest of the contents of the folder when he pauses, staring at the images awaiting his acknowledgement. Natasha sees him freeze slightly and glances over to see what’s troubling him. Her brow dips in understanding.

Lying before him are photo after photo of death and destruction. Bucky remembers this day now, after it was buried so long under HYDRA mind wipes and his own crippling want to forget. The bodies of the dead line a small street, buildings reduced to rubble. He can see the dead, so many of them. There aren’t just the few military commanders he was sent to exterminate- no, HYDRA wants no witnesses and so Bucky had killed everyone in sight. There are children in pools of blood, their mothers reaching over them as if to shield them from the inevitable bullets coming their way. He tells himself that their deaths were quick, efficient, maybe even painless, but it is not enough. There is no way to justify this amount of bloodshed.

Natasha puts her hand on his shoulder. The gesture, meant to bring comfort, startles him and it takes all of Bucky’s self-control to not flinch. Bucky swallows hard. “I did all of this. I killed every one of them.” Natasha’s voice is low and quiet. “It wasn’t you. You had no choice in any of this.” Bucky laughs, thought it is heavy with horror and breaks in upon itself. “It’s easier to say that, but it was still my hand pulling the trigger.” He leans back against the wall, trying to steady himself.

“How were you and Steve able to convince anyone to trust me? Why did you even want to save me in the first place?” Natasha stares at the photos, taking in the broken bodies of the dead. “Steve knew the real you, the one who’s standing here right now and would never attempt this sort of carnage. I knew what it was like to lose all control and feel like your hands would always be stained with blood. Second chances are more powerful than you might think.”

Bucky shakes his head slowly. “I don’t deserve that chance. I don’t deserve any of this.” He closes his eyes for just a second as if by blocking out the world he can block out the memory of the methodical shudder of the rifle in his hands, the recoil as he fired again and again. “I don’t deserve Y/N. She-” Natasha cuts him off smoothly. “Y/N knows what you’ve been through, and she knows that you are not that same man. I’ve spoken with her before, and she knows the full extent of what you did.”

Bucky’s eyes cut back to the photographs. “Then why does she stay?” Natasha’s gaze feels like a leaden weight, unflinching and unyielding. “She stays because she loves you. She stays because she knows that the real Bucky Barnes is a hero, someone who is willing and able to move on from their past. Y/N is one of the most important parts of your life, not because she’s a good kisser but because she’s one of the only people who can see straight through you and know that you’re a good man.”

Bucky nods. “I don’t need you to tell me twice.” Natasha’s right, though, and even the barest mention of Y/N brings back a wave of good memories to fight against the bad. She’s like an anchor, someone holding him in place even when all of the darkness he’s had to endure threatens to pull him under. It astonishes him sometimes that he still wakes up beside her every morning. She’s so perfect, so wonderful. What does Y/N see in him anyway that would make him so lucky to have her with him?

You’re in a despondent mood for the rest of the day. You slump home, not even bothering to turn on the lights but discarding your coat and bag in the dark of the room. The faint light still shining through the windows is all you’ll need. You stare unthinkingly at the apartment for a while, then head to your bedroom. As you catch sight of yourself in the mirror, you stop with a sigh, leaning your hands against the dresser underneath.

You stare at yourself, at the dark circles under your eyes. Who are you, anyway? Who are you to think that you would ever be good enough for an Avenger? At this point, it’s only a matter of days before he breaks up with you. No wonder he keeps waking up before you- he’s trying to leave without seeing you that often, as a way to lessen the blow of the eventual goodbye.

The problem about gloomy thoughts is that they tend to wrap around you, pulling you away from everything else. You’re so distracted that you don’t hear the front door open, and you don’t notice Bucky enter the apartment until he knocks softly on the wall of your bedroom as he stands in the open door. You turn around with a flash, plastering on a smile, but your reaction is too late and his brow furrows. “Are you alright?”

You try for a smile, reaching out to kiss him in greeting. “Of course I am. How was your day?” Bucky is not to be deterred. “I saw your face, Y/N. You looked really upset. Is everything okay?” Maybe it’s that velvet tone of his, or the concern laced in his eyes, but your few fragile defenses break down. You turn to him, fighting back tears. “Why are you still with me?” Bucky frowns. “What?” You hold your hands up uselessly. “You’re an Avenger and you’re out there saving lives all the time. Why would you ever be interested in some girl from the city? I’m not half the person you are.”

Bucky stares at you for a second, then wraps his arms around you, drawing you close. “Y/N, love, why would you ever think that?” You look away. “Because it’s true. You should be dating some other superhero of a woman who could be your equal.” Bucky’s frown tinges slightly with anger. “Did you hear about this on some news show? I told that one news outlet that if they said a single thing about me I’d shut them down, and I’ll do it-” You cut him off. “It’s not like that. It’s just- You’re an Avenger, Bucky, and you deserve someone equally as brave as you are.”

Bucky guides you gently over to the bed, and the two of you sit down on the edge. He pulls you into his arms. “I don’t want some superhero. I want you. Y/N, I love you because you’re the only one here who sees me for who I really am, not just some soulless Avenger but a faulty person. Honestly, if anything I’m surprised that you’d still stay with me.” Your tears dry up as you stare at him. “What?” A quiet smile spreads across Bucky’s lips. “Every single day, I come home and you make a difficult day a thousand times better. You know me better than I know myself, and even despite everything I’ve done and the monster I’ve been, you still make me feel like a good man again. You’re one of the kindest souls I’ve ever met, Y/N, and you deserve someone equally as good as you are.”

You shake your head slowly. “That’s not the same. Anyone can be nice.” Bucky cups your cheek in his hand. “Nobody else knows that I always get up in the mornings and pace around because of the nightmares. Nobody else knows that I always stare down the alleyways on the walk home because I keep thinking I’ll see Steve in there getting beat up, or help me pick out jackets based on how easy it will be to remove the left sleeve. You’re the only one for me, doll, and I wouldn’t trade you for a heartbeat.”

He reaches into a pocket. “Here, I’ll prove it.” He takes out something silvery, like stamped metal. With a jolt, you realize they’re his dog tags, the ones he had from fighting in World War II all those years ago. He gestures for you to turn around and you do, feeling the weight of the metal around your throat as he fastens them. When you look back at him, he’s smiling. “See? You can’t get rid of me, love. Not in a million years.”

You smile, running your fingers over the faded lettering. “Won’t you want them? You know, as a memory of your old life?” Bucky shakes his head, a content expression lingering in his eyes. “I don’t need them to remember. I’ve got you, and you’re the only home I’ll ever need.” When he kisses you again, you can feel the dog tags right over your heart, like a promise that he’ll always be with you, no matter what.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes imagines #bucky barnes x reader #winter soldier #winter soldier imagines #winter soldier x reader #avengers #avengers imagines #avengers x reader #tfatws #tfatws imagines #tfatws x reader #catws #catws imagines

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problematicpervertpod · 3 years

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recs on recs on recs

Yaoi/Manga I’m reading/have read. Please support the artists on official websites. If you have recs or want to chat about any of these get in my messages right the fuck now my dudes. Also spoilers, also this probably doesn’t make sense to anyone but me, also I think I’m funny sorry in advance.

Dangerous Convenience Store

Tags: Ongoing, self aware lead for the most part, gangs, smut, love triangle, possessive, not rapey, seme is like the fucking hulk compared to uke, college, age gap, good art, muscular bodies, seme is adorable/romantic in sp chapters, sexual awakening, meeting the gang (in two ways!), FAINTS OF CUTENESS/HOTNESS, the memes after every chapter got me gagged, HAHE hahahahahahahahahaha, OMG DO I GET SOME CNC?! (update: short lived), we stan a vocal man (Ahjussi), thigh fucking, my mans be like my thighs hurt fuck my ass instead DECEASED, ass smacking, these memes are so good god damnit, rimming

8/10, I live for Ahjussi (Am I spelling this wrong..)

The New Employee

-love love love

Tags: ongoing, we stan supportive boyfriends, healthy relationship, boss/employee, smut, office setting, good art, 10/10 will re-read, muscular bodies

Love Shuttle

Tags: completed, ABO, enemies to lovers, possessive, coworkers, fake relationship, strong omega, the art sucks but I like the story, art gets better after the 1st season, alphas eyes change colors when happy/anxious, muscular bodies, 7/10, update 10/10 art is meh but fml this storyline is basic af in the best way and it’s the fluff/smut I need, when you’re caught by the folks *cringe*

Hold Me Tight

Tags: ongoing, boss/employee, bodyguard, gio can’t feel heat until felix comes along, uke is strong af, horny bastards, smut, possessive, tragic childhood, moving in together right away, rich seme, felix in a bunny costume though *heart eyes*, dialogue is great, rape in a technical sense but the vibe is written like both characters are all good after? Ex. hospital scene…dub con, ART IS GREAT, hand holding during sex, 10/10 will re-read, muscular bodies

Yours to Claim

Tags: ongoing, love triangle, Dom/sub dynamics, smut, main is big switch energy, reincarnation, jealousy, manipulative, possessive, self aware lead for the most part, toxic af, GREAT ART, college, rich semes, 10/10 will re-read and not even finished, SONOFABITCH that cliff hanger!! Season 3 come thruuuu (I have to wait until November? *cries* BUT MAH LOVE TRIANGLE!!, I want a THROUPLE GOD DAMN IT

The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation

Tags: obsessed with this story, will the incense burner scenes make it?? No tags because I'll never forget this one haha wangxian 5ever, send me all fanfics/fan art you have about this story, love Dark Wangji, Jadecest, ABO/omegaverse, Bottom Wangji/Top Wei Ying, and honestly anything regarding this fandom

Bj Alex

Tags: completed, great art, 11/10 will re-read, cam boy, fanboy, seme is an asshole, uke is so sexy, jealously, rich seme, enemies to lovers kind of?, CHANWOO IS MY BOY FOR LIFE, Chanwoo MD supremacy, BDSM (like really really), fuck I love Chanwoo, college students, rich seme, emotional rollercoaster, uke soft body, mean seme, college life, that one nosy bitch ass guy trying to expose my boys needs to fuck right off, seme split/fake personality, dub con

Anti PT

Tags: ongoing, 11/10 re-readable, porn with feelings, love triangle, jealousy, attempted non-con, personal training wink wink, main love interest is actually the best, second male lead is a god damn creep, first time, smut, great art, sex addict/constantly horny uke, I WANT A HWI,

Related: https://www.anime-planet.com/manga/anti-pt/recommendations

Payback

Tags: ongoing, both are psychopaths tbh, revenge, gangs, uke sells himself to seme, violent seme, entertainment industry, brunette supremacy, what this motherfucker gonna do? hehe , great art, muscular bodies, dead dove do not eat, my mans must be GOOD looking/animal magnetism cause everyone losing their fucking minds, okay this is a comedy I’m dying, he tried to scare him with wanting to be a top but my psycho said REVERSEUNO BITCH I’M A VERSE (wait jk apparently *sigh*), anonymous masked sex (sad n’ kinky)

My Suha

Tags: ongoing, wow this gets dark, possessive af like holy shit, terrible people all around uke, rape, boss/employee, office politics/family politics, smut, characters that are punchable, dead dove do not eat, *velociraptor noises*, avoided this for a while but I’m back because nothing can be more emotionally devastating than Banana Fish, TIE HIM UP, FUCK HIS FACE ALKSJD:ASKD, FUCK SUHA UR SO HOT that dirty talk though YAS, glad I picked this back up lmao, GOD DAMN IT just when the package arrived then this red head fucker *screams*

Shame Application aka Dirty Vibration

Tags: completed, friends to lovers, model seme, cute af uke, love triangle, entertainment industry, smut, kink, all kinds of sex everywhere, realized feelings, mutual pining, jealousy, rich seme, blonde seme, big brother 1984 always watching, 10/10 would re-read, porn with plot, they were roommates!, ~straight~ seme, first times, great art, remembering some cringe but considering the story it’s par for the course

Will You Subscribe

Tags: ongoing, season 1 completed, enemies to lovers, cam boy, office politics, boss/employee, hiding a secret, public sex, stalkers/creepy men, emotionally stunted characters, mutual pining, idiots in lust, lingerie company, slut shaming, jealousy/possessiveness, season 2 bebeh, HOLDING HANDS *velociraptor noises*, LMAO okay my mans is not THAT old how tf does he not know netflix and chill, BUNNY COSTUME (quickly becoming my new fav trope in manga, A+ gang), oh we stan a good boy, wtf is wrong with wanting to do cam work, ‘I wish my marks could become permanent’ *omegaverse wink*, *works for lingerie company* *doesn’t understand where bf gets sexy costumes* like wut kind of fuckery…, cross dressing ftw, roleplay, classic BL miscommunication trope

Hyperventilation

Tags: completed, high school crush, unrequited love, mutual pining, smut, quickie (short story), class reunion, apparently furry with the extra chapter turning my man into a bunny but c'est la vie! https://myreadingmanga.info/korean-bl-animation-hyperventilation-engsub/ this is the animation of the same story, different endings but same in tone (this site is spammy AF but the English subs are so hard to find for this) 8/10

Unmei no tsugai ga omae da nante

Tags: only one bed, ABO, office setting. Coworkers, enemies to lovers, competitive, equality in the omegaverse, dubcon, real dicks and not lightsabers, fated pair, art is cute af 8/10

K’s Secret

Tags: buckle up buttercup, dead dove do not eat, angst, pining, somnophilia, dub con, non con, boss/employee, manipulative, stalking, forced relationship, tragic childhood background, weird art but gets better, uke: don’t threaten me with a good time but seriously stop threatening me, possessive & obsessive, seme is like the fucking hulk compared to uke, wow were going full psycho stalker hm?, dating a narcissist is all fun and (mind)games, con non con… ? honestly who tf knows, domestic!, OW MY HEART, the t/n WAP note sent me, ch 51 translated by gen z, do special ep= furry? Wait there’s a maid costume, bunny costume, directors friends keeping it real, rough translations 8/10

Enthusiasm

Tags: ongoing, dead dove do not eat, uke buys seme, masc boys, muscular bodies, fight club, master/slave, rich uke, revenge, real dicks not lightsabers, rough sex, cuckholding, daddy issues, suicide, wow the end of ch 5 punched a hole in my heart, penile implant life, rough translations makes the storyline wonky, nvm back to lightsabers *star wars noises*, HAD ME FEELING SOME TYPE OF WAY I CAN NOT, shibari, possessive, wait this is cute *velociraptor noises*, angst, no kithes for you “bestie”, OBSESSED, honestly choke him pupper, STAY THE NIGHT ALKSDJA:SLDKJAS:LKDJA:SLDKj, problematic but I’m riding for these two,

Ichimai Goshi Fetish

Tags: completed, short, fetishes DO start in childhood don’t they *ruminates*, author: describes ML as a beautiful 2D character meanwhile: ML IS 2D character, fellas is it gay to kiss the homies?, “real dudes don’t interest me” is a MOOD, comedy, jealousy, college setting, dialogue is A+, not lightsabers but not dicks either, first time, when you’re fucked so good you think you’ve died, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4uEq5Nx6ko, hero/villain roleplay. Fluff n smut 10/10

My Purrfect Boss

Tags: completed, tooth rotting fluff because blondie is so FUCKING cute little sensitive soul, golden retriever boyfriend, pure comedy, DECEASED, MY MAN JUST DID THE SLOW BLINK, office setting, boss/employee, ~wasted~ (red dead redemption meme), FFS SO CUTE, he put a ring on it right away beyonce would be proud af, he protecc he attack but most importantly he hit it from the back, jealousy, honeymoon phase of dating, the ex is a snake (update: oh wow literally), I’m picking up abuse/PTSD vibes based on how Kang reacts to his ex :(, classic BL miscommunication plot, immediately no meme audio (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6XWSGfYnps) , I WILL STRAIGHT UP MURDER CHA WTF!!!!!!, gang rape, spiked with drugs that force heat, me rn:*screaming/rage*, psychotic ex/abuser, HE PROTECCC, actual relief after that scene jesus fuck, okay YES kings I see you, okay this is giving me cuteness aggression, hi yes I’d like to adopt a cat and a dog please 9/10

Following Namsoo to the Bathhouse

Tags: completed, same author as, “My Purrfect Boss”, A+ comedy once again, JUNIOR, gay awakening, “fap myself to death” DEAD, facial expressions are ridic, my minds telling me no but my body, my bodyyyy’s telling me yaaaaa, ya boy is literally losing his mind over this, actual lightsabers lmao, FLUFF, permasmile, 6969, THINKS THEY’RE GOING TO EAT RAMEN, dense gay, own your skin wtf okay hannibal calm down, everyone is officially cray, ah I also am barfy when drunk, denial really is something hm, classic BL miscommunication plot, when people pleasing too far, happy ending 🥺🥰, side story: our crazy gets his very own crazy (ashton Kutcher from spread vibes), public sex, sex sparkle 9/10

Alien in my Closet

Tags: ongoing (maybe completed but def ongoing on the site I use), not rapey at all?? You’d think it’s impossible in this medium ffs, anti pt vibes, cute art, fluff ‘n smut, red head!!, they were roomates!, sex toys, bsdm, D/s (brat)dynamic or maybe owner/pet, bondage, *tiffany hadish voice* this is noiceeee, con humiliation/degradtion, SANTA CLAUS, edging, marking, one lotus please (he’s clearly read the 4 agreements and karma sutra), con non con, exhibitionism, the wrist thing stays on people, Katoptronophilia, roleplay, is it stalking when you bring your friends?, lotus: welcome home cheater, the chin on the head thing gives me cuteness aggression, the twins are my favs, when ur crush vanilla af 😭, haesung: experiment on me daddy, no dick until halfway through/fingering supremacy, bedroom sessions has me gagged, voyeurism, wait they haven’t kissed this whole time I forgot (audio: https://www.tiktok.com/@ryley/video/6976701880277748997?lang=en), sunbae is sus, YES FINALLY A FUCKING SWITCH COUPLE AKJSDHALKSJDHASKLJDHALS KJDALKSJD (update: sort of), there’s a missed opportunity for an anal probe joke, damn it okay maybe sunbae is chill, 3 musketeers, my heart*implodes*, *velociraptor noises*, 12/10 would re-read such fluff my heart

On Doorstep

Tags: completed, age gap, reese has ptsd, jimmy going from 0 to 100, jimmy really got down on his knees at work, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) deepest part you say, real dicks, ride him like a rodeo, quickie/short story, porn with plot

Gorani Jeon

Tags: ongoing, omegaverse, no alpha though, animal hybrid, art is beautiful like it's drawn on paper not a screen, 40 inch weave yours came in a pack, historical (non-modern), lord send me a sexy man pls, the memes after each chapter are golden, taking the phrase licking wounds literally, is that an eggplant or are you just happy to see me hehe, ahhh so inhibitors do exist here, vertical 69, here lays Bau fucked to death by Ran, WHY HE TOUCHING MY MAN, these chickens are dope, stomp on his dick, that’s what I call a happy meal, fucked right out the front door I’M DEAD, mpreg, i need a tiger+mountain god spin off (whoops dad/son my bad), slice of life, cute fluff 8/10

Room to room

Tags: completed, college setting, A+ dialogue, absurd size difference, unrequited love, sexsomina, dubcon, angst, death by a thousand cuts emotionally, insecurity, body envy, pining, friends to lovers, they were roommates!, homophobia, sexual assault, PTSD, gays in denial, the tattoo 🥺 ow my heart, truly this is 90% smut, “going from unrequited love to fwbs is shittier than I expected”, dowan *bad blood by t swift* when he sees garam, ch 22garam reminds me of my ex and that’s not a compliment, I’m not gay but my boyfriend is vibes, triflers need not apply, spanking, 😭😭😭😭😭 my heart hurts, is anyone getting a bit of a puppy play vibe? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vni9ZWmDXis, handcuffs, lots of head we stan, dowan’s gotta a touch of a foot thing or maybe body worship thing, asdlfgkjs ;dlkfgjsd;flkgj;sdflkgj;sdlfgjs;d/gkdf SO CUTEEEEEEEEEEE, roleplay. They broke the bed no use of crying over spilled milk ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), side stories delivering man in uniform and sex toys AND puppy, asdlkjaslfkasdjfl;askdfjasdf the shirt thing is so hot, watersports, I take it back this is 98% smut 9/10

Mistake Lover

Tags: completed, when ur bff is back on their BS, love triangle, coworkers, i swear all these ukes look the same to me at this point (which is very cute), GE!!!! (wangxian flashbacks), wait no smut?.... Paused

Yagi to ookami no hatsujou jijou

Tags: completed, quickie/short story, literally on my reading list because a comment said “nice cock 10/10”hahahaha, animal hybrids, scifi/aliens, me during chapter one: am I a furry? No. Am I? Relevant audio https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=noJNIqvDfoo, hotties when human GOD DAMN, bi king, okay I stan this girl changing gears take your opportunities honey!, does blondie have a tinder or how is this happening? (update: called it), feminization, dubcon/noncon, marking, heats, idk about 10/10 cock but not lightsabers, translation is ruff (get it?), a yankee hahaha, literal wound licking, googles chimera, *claps* yes king selfish call his ass out, tail holding caaaayoooot, not that isn’t usually copious amounts of cum but really this is a lot 8/10

Make Me Bark

Tags: completed, $250 a month rent?? *cries in Californian*, god damn it these grey haired 2D men are really hot fml, “next months rent is a looming concern but I hope it’ll get better” followed by apartment on fire is how I feel about reality, rare characters that smile way more than they frown, sex toys, kink, puppy play, owner/pet dynamic, sugar daddy/baby, college setting, harness, muzzle, leash, tail plug, shirt thing!!, soaked briefs, playing barbie IRL, omg meet cute at the adult store, intercrural sex, possessive/jealousy, ah fuck yes I saw this panel on IG but it didn’t have the source but now hehe, whipping, choking, spanking, *bookmarks*, simp city, childhood friends, side couple cute af, yeonsoo: sorry I’m an anti romantic, size queen, mens lingerie, domestic, mutual pining, these bestie pairings are *chefs kiss*, skinny but muscular bodies/no ridiculous size differences, “does he have a big dick?” “probably” “well tell him to come” GAGGED AJKSDHALSKDJHA this dialogue pure comedy, exhibitionism, human auction, maid costume, men in heels, topping in a dress, girl at the bus stop HAHAHA, ffs this is so cute, side stories: it’s a small world afterall, dynamic role reversal, pink haired boy is guru, SCREAMING AKDJA:SLDKJA:LKDJA:LSDKJLAKDJA:LDJAL:SKDJASLKDJA:SLKDJLAKSDJLASDJ:LASJD:ALSKDJASL:DJ:ASLJDPUTARINGONIT!!!! 11/10

Gurume no fukurami

Tags: completed, quickie/short story, food fetish, feeding fetish, age gap, throuple-eqsue? There’s 3 people involved, paused ch 1 pg 30

Under the Green Light

Tags: ongoing, thank you IG for rec’ing this, brunette supremacy, neurodivergent?, lmao @hag, this statue is everything I wonder if it’s based on a real piece?, we went from talking art to being pinned to the ground REAL quick, translations rough but not as rough as my mans here, draw me like one of your french girls vibe, sass master, these dicks are ridiculously huge which is saying something for this genre, i love a verse/switch, “first time he’s asked someone to stop so his self-esteem is hurt” HAHAHAHA, stealing bae’s shirt, facials galore, car sex/public sex, jin not into praise kink clearly, sort of slut shaming jealousy, marking

Walk on Water

Tags: completed, for being about porn it’s not that smutty (i take it back), “don’t even think about running away” got me like https://giphy.com/gifs/VABbCpX94WCfS, actual dicks (lightsabers later must be the cleaners not the OG), muscular bodies, blonde seme, brunette uke, k mcqueen is everything, honestly haven’t loved a couple this much since chanwoo x MD and I LOVE THEM, jealousy, orgasm denial, the angles/frames of the art in this are insane (11/10), emotional intimacy CUTENESS HASIHDLASKDHJLAKSJDH, i wanna lick lick lick you from your head to your toes, dirty talk A+, bestie you turned out to be Judas you judgy fuck how dare you touch my man, Ryan is 50 shades of fucked up bb needs therapy, Chang and yeowoons sexual tension is *chefs kiss*, I ship it/all my ships sailing, woof non con but expected tbh, YEAH BABY YEAH *Austin powers voice*, fml I don’t want this story to end, meeting the Hets ™ would make me nervous too, spiderman kith, mirror sex sjkadfhasldjkfh, 34+35, JOI but with a partner? Not D/s, promises are made to broken hehe, that feeling when you understand the title, omg the fan art is so cool!! 15/10 would re-read seriously I can’t explain how well the artist used angles/how she portrayed the scenes was fucking MASTERFUL

Woof Wolf

Tags: that's my best friend (saweetie), red heads, werewolf au, college setting, students, shoot a shot in your mouth while I'm riding, facials, marking

Sexual Awakening of an Ex Delinquent

Tags: completed, quickie/short story, sexual coercion/non con/dub con, tiddies, bondage, nipple play, edging/orgasm denial, candy in ass wow, food kink, kink in general, rich seme working class uke, lightsabers, big dick Jesus fuck, exhibitionism, public sex, men's lingerie, Blondie is a sweet baby angel, self hatred/homophobia, sexual narrating that has me like oof 😣 that's not how this works but okay, the sweet spots thing is a great line, man is a slave to the sweets, lmao at the meme at the end of ch 9 fucking facts, kidnapping plot, rapey guys all around this story, tattoo/back story reveal has me like *nods head yes*, my throats broken has me gagged, crazy amount of sfx noises that distract from the art (I really appreciate cleaners I realize), first times, rushed ending feels, would rate 6/10 not terrible but probably won't read again.

With Your Tail Yes

Tags: ongoing, IG rec, quickie/short story, on man brunette looks EXACTLY like a different character by another artist like for real duplicate, home boy pulled Elle Wood’s Bend n Snap and we are HERE FOR IT, lingerie/cross dressing, okay compilation of short stories, great artwork but wtf these are far too short (maybe uploaded wrong..?), *immediately makes deal with the devil because yum*, ah okay previews THEN stories, human animal hybrid situation, lightsabers, fucking imagine your crush delivery the sex toy you ordered online HAHA *dies*, buys toys because men ain’t shit is a VIBE, you know he’s always wearing matching sets because he’s 100% that bitch, dub con/non con, knotting (unexpected), exhibitionism, public sex, good ol’ fashion blackmail to get your lover to stay with you trope, sexual assault/attempted rape, victim blaming, shibari, leashes, D/brat dynamic sort of, copious amounts of cum, lube? What lube?, marathon sex, first time, 75 hours?? Immediately no meme, 7/10 mostly for art/concepts but not execution

Heat and Run

Tags: ongoing, IG rec, omegaverse, friends to enemies to lovers, multiple couples as main to sides then sides to mains, my heart dropped because I thought the first sex scene was incest but then realized I’m mixing up all the characters derp, dense gays, this is america (the shooting comment WOOF reality feels bad man), blondes have more fun, real dicks, dubcon/CNC dealers choice, mutual pining, idiots in love, big alpha energy BDE, there are moments I feel Hayoung on a spiritual level and not sure that’s a compliment hahaha, orgasm denial/edging, istg if he bonded without Hayoung permission *jenna marbles BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII YOU BETTAH NOT*, also I was hoping the idol was him but realizing it’s probs his sis, *deep sigh*, BDIRL, wow racism, oh no oh no no no no no meme audio, listen everyone needs to get into therapy to break that generational trauma is all I’m saying (not excusing abuse at all, trauma isn’t a free pass), NO ONE WANTS TO PLAY A GAME WITHOUT KNOWING THE RULES :ALKSDHJALKSDJA:SLKDJTRUE, matthew singing bo burnham: I’m problematic *background singers ‘he’s a problem!’*, i ship it yolo, JAEHO STAN (no means no!), mpreg, god damn it I am so worried about him getting roofie and the party scene hasn’t even started ABO WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TOO ME, OH THANK JAEHO, dayummmm that clapback was real fuck him UP, me clapping: MARK HIM MARK HIM, GOD DAMN IT WITH THESE ONGOING FUCKING CLIFF HANGERS FML, marked via knotting? Okay that’s new, but also like normal marking I think, fucking til bottom pees trope

Heaven Officials Blessing

Animated series season 1 complete. Live action currently filming (same director as Untamed too UGH SO HAPPY)

Tags: ongoing, same author as my fav ever MDZS, just finished season 1 animated on netflix and can no longer avoid this because I LOVE THEM, all the memes on IG make sense now, Prince voice: Dearly Beloved (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXJhDltzYVQ) we are gathered here today to dive deeper into a fandom I will never escape, ART IS AMAZING (https://tenor.com/view/incredible-talented-lady-brilliant-gaga-gif-14857187), group chats are always chaotic tbh, wait a minute meme audio: bride = bottom? How tf did I not get that the first time round *sigh* always hoping for a verse couple, the asst. Boys I ship hard, the sass, fuck this is going to just be pure angst isn’t it *straps in, has fluffy manga queued*, even if no smut 11/10 gege porn, not subtle, god FUCK this ART IS SO FUCKING GOOD THE TALENT skjas;ldkfja;, 🥺, traumatic cliff moment *mdzs flashbacks*, HC smirk is my new favorite thing, no fucking but lots of touching, size difference, horror, gore, wuxia, great side characters, my ear feels tingly too lmao, SOMEONE BETTER GET THESE MF SNAKES ON THIS MF PLANE (cliff), umbrella moments got me uwu, gimme at least didi pleaseandthankyou, FUCK I LOVE THIS ARTIST she keeping us WELL fed with these extras DAYUM, wind/earth master ship please sail, CALL ME DADDY IM DEAD, HC has LWJ energy like you are not qualified to talk to me LOL, WAIT this totally counts as there was only one bed trope, also I’m already excited about omegaverse ff (send me recs please please please)

4 week lovers

Tags: ongoing because apparently I want to torture myself, mutual pining/”unrequited love”, college life, friends to lovers, blackmail ur crush into sex trope, public sex, I was going to tag possessive body language but possessive in a general sense apparently (starting strong yessss), sure jan @unrequited love dialogue, THEY WERE ROOMMATES *cackles*, sus haha, rough translation, pure comedy, shirt thing!, casual abuse :( (back story, traumatic childhood), I’m getting TharnType vibes (but not quite…), that note is precious, cry during/after sex, great angles, dialogue A+

Burlesque Night

Tags: completed, quickie/short story, stripper/body guard, coworkers, lust at first sight, magic mike vibes, fridays = getting fucked on stage O-O, well that was traumatizing af, took a bullet, real dicks, LDR, CUTE, I’m not in love with you… sure jan, OH WOW MASTER dlksaj;alsdkja;lsdkja;sld, gay awakening/first time, the art detail is *chefs kiss*, disappointed but not surprised :( :( :(, we stan a yes and lover, shirt thing, still not sure wtf the vertical anus thing is but full circle moment haha, you know what fuck it I’d re-read this 9/10

My one and only cat

Tags: ongoing, cat hybrids, god damn it I’m totally in furrydom ffs, ah well here we go, idol hot = loneliness wahhh /s, so hot he literally transforms other beings, omg a cat cafe CUTE, fuck that cat is cute *so fluffy*, stalker status, comedy, real dicks, I think the uncle would be supportive/jealous even I hope they talk about it I’m dying to know his thoughts, big tiddies, if this ain’t the cutest shit FLUFF/SMUT, copious amounts of cum, ate it with the panties on, CAKE, xmas, his milkshakes bring all the boy(cats) to the yard, trifling bitch

Imitation Mate

Tags: completed, omegaverse, alpha x alpha. Class rivals YAS, childhood frans, enemies to lovers omg this is all the shit I want, manipulation 1000 but yolo I ship it

Mr. 100% Perfect

Tags: ongoing, so relatable, OCD?, hoarder, when I read the title I thought mental illness and I was right, masks ugh RELATABLE, getting back together w ex, woof sibling drama/manipulation, suicide attempt, omg their communication regarding the psycho is REFRESHING, OMG JEJU ISLAND I see it in every fucking kdrama ever but this is the first time I’ve seen it mentioned in a manga *hm* interesting, furry furry everywhere, eye contact, finished reading season 1 pause for an omergaverse cause, okay I’m back and season 2 starting STRONG #1 men are gross #2 mans just went right to a blowie while mf was trying to pee lmao i can NOT the germs barf, fuckboi extraordinaire stressing over a textback is *great*, that istg face is perfect, HYUNGGGG, hand on his heart OW MY HEART, vibe check LOL, here for this plot dev, END OF SEASON2 NOOOOOOOimnotready. Head bonks CUTE

The origin of species

Tags: ongoing, omegaverse, sex tape, blackmail, i already don’t like this teacher, size difference, ‘JUST DIE’ hahahahahaha, I’m in love with noona, wait Ahjussi means uncle/mister? Dangerous convenience store has a new meaning to me now, DECEASED @they won’t, copious amounts of cum, alcohol to have intimacy *sighs in early 20s*, also WTF THEY ARE FUCKING AND THERE’S NO PHERMONE STUFF! What’s the point of being ABO without smell *swaggy p meme???*, wait okay ch 11 it begins, stockholm syndrome but since childhood I’m fairly certain *looking at you teacher I don’t trust these mfs*, dubcon obviously, also the can’t be knotted thing has me *cardi b meme that’s weird that’s sus* obvs poor bb about to get preg af, five word horror story: I won’t hurt you again *why tf you lyinggggg why u always lyinggg meme*, white collar crime, what’s the point of a contract when there’s no actual choice

How to Chase an Alpha

Tags: ongoing, lowkey been avoiding this one not because I think it’ll be bad I just..idk the brain is a weird thing, page 2 and I love mains attitude fucking gagged sass me bb, starting with rough translation but it be that way sometimes, GROUNDS HIMSELF BY TOUCHING HIS BLACK CARD I CANTTT, pheromone city fuck it UP, MC is a MOOD, mutual pining, when u and bae both hire PI’s to get info on each other, R-E-S-P-E-C-T, shirt thing, fucking chuffed about the rival fucking bring it, funny art, cheated on ugh mah heart I saw it coming and it still hurt, pure comedy this airport scene is so funny to me wtf, LDR, good ol murica fuckboi, LOVE HIM RIDE FOR UR MAN/MORALS, liams a little rapey rapist hm? No one’s ever said no… well being flooded with pheromones isn’t consent my dude, istg liam = I love it when they struggle, obvs jealousy/possessive tag but such is ABO, cat suit, BUNNY suit, sexy costumes, god damn it I love them that proposal/mpreg so cute, imprinting AW, ugh baes fam is so cute I needed that bc I wanna strangle wooyoungs dad, THE SECETARY is my fucking fav never stops being A+, SEC+LIAM?? Here for it *i ship it*, FUCK SO CUTE 12/10 re-read, fluff n smut, excited for how to chase an omegaside story hyung needs love!, JINI is mood, sales king I’m dying, that collar is ~hot~ btw

Egoism

Tags: completed (because jesus I can’t with ongoing, theheartbreakTM), UPDATE FML THE HEART BREAK IS REAL also no smut, omegaverse, hey stepbro, starts with rape, possessive/jealousy (isn’t all ABO?), age difference (6years, alpha is younger *can I get hyung plz lord*), HYUNG, woof this dad SUCKS, child abuse, rape culture *sigh*, I wanna get jacked like rick and summer and beat tf out of the dad, me n my cat, TELL EM HONEY I love this MC, traitor indeed, beta x omega btw, fated pair, coercive sex, didi going to be his own demise, BREAKUP/TIME SKIP NO this is BL hell, the rona is mentioned in this, ALL I WANT IS TO HEAR YOUR STORY WAHHHHHHHHHH also YES MY SHIP IS GOING TO SAIL I CAN FEEL IT, okay honestly frustrating a bit but also liked it yah 7-8/10, won’t re-read unless I’m looking for hurt though cause the comfort is BRIEF

Yarichin bitch bu

Tags: ongoing, reading because I watched this anime after seeing it mentioned in the comment section of -im-being-harassed-by-the-sexiest-man-of-the-year, anime was 2 eps a fucking wild the way this is uploaded SUCKS, no reality porn what plot rape-y ridiculous and now I need to read the source apparently haha, I need to know much more about yuri and blue hair guy ASAP (they have the spin off*adds to list*), high school setting, smut, studentsxstudents/teachers, photography club my ass, sex toys, kinky, crossdressing, gay awakening, unrequited love, jealousy, fake relationship, two faced people, OCD, COMEDY, rich people problems, hoarder, inferiority complex, one bed, toono is a dumbass in this love triangle or denial might be a better word, they are cousins my dude stop shipping it (I say to both toono and myself LOL), I wanna see Yuri’s face laksdjf;aldskf, vibrator #18 line is fucking iconic, yaguchi is about to get real interesting (BPD?), lies/manipulation, oh toono you sweet summer child, YURI i can’t wit chu, wait did he just punch the student because he won’t kiss him or???, dubcon/noncon obvs, finally my verse couple but they’re not a couple (yuri/tamu), they all care about each other is a weird way awwww, love confessions to pet vibrator scene are ICONIC MY DUDES I CAN NOTTT, lowkey living for Yuri’s drooling at this point, Jimi gives me such bad second hand embarrassment, Yuri the switch verse bb I’ve been looking for need more!, internalized homophobia, blackmail, MIDDLE FINGER IN THE AIR YAS KING, the heartbreak of ongoing/hasn’t been updated in years

Yarichin bitch bu dj wa

Tags: not completed I think, years old though, see above you know what it is, so cute omg, FIRST KISS AW, degradation kink?, MY VERSE COUPLE I’ve finally found you, biting, choking, rough sex, sex toys, they had fun together for another two hours DECEASED

Fucked by my Best Friend

Tags: ongoing, friends to lovers, body swap, Porn what plot, cannon threesomes in past maybe??(MFF for sure but MMF??), beach life, revenge, he became a HOT woman so honestly get over it, sloppy seconds, first off you’re both sluts second lmao this is going to be wild hm?, fellas is it gay if you kiss the homies, classic did you cum guy jfc, that’s how you get preg dumbass, ah the joys of being a woman /s assault in der clrub, *DEEP SIGH* @ you almost being raped turns me on, YES TURNING BACK DYING, gender has nothing to do with this LOL but true. Also yes cannon threesomes/orgies, googles frotting, mans like narrating playtime, intecurial sex public sex, lingerie, this is the closest thing to straight manga I’ve read hahaha, THE SCIENCE OMG FUCKING RIDIC :you need a mass amount of semen within you SURE JAN, possessive. Objectification, she trying to fuck without Shion LMAO, 34+35, do you think he’s on r/nofap, dry orgasm honestly impressed with mans rn ngl, spit as lube, anal fingering, just helping the homies find their prostate, bottom shaming (disappointed but not surprised), bis/gays in denial smh, question if he has a wet dream will he turn into a woman?, shirt thing, lol at female orgasm =anal in switcharoos mind, paging doc perv, shion is enjoying dressing up hm? Same dude, biggest reality gap is believing shion got admitted to a college HAHA, bad anatomy all over the place dude, rui is a dedicated exhibitionist, HE SO TIGHT BECAUSE THERES NO LUBE team no lube over here apparently not even a courtesy spit, yandere territory sort of?, Mayu with the dick wet comment is *chefs kiss*, THE HEARTBREAK OF ONGOING WAHHH I can’t believe I read all this but I can? 8/10 problematic possessive porn

#yaoi #manga #enemies to lovers #friends to lovers #gay #lgbt #pornwhatplot #recs #book recs #manga recs #yaoi recs #ships #yandere #uke #seme

113 notes · View notes

gushabtkoo · 3 years

Text

l o v e o f m y l i f e ' s r e c s <3

✐ because i read too many jungkook fics, he gets a separate masterlist hehe !

most works are nsfw ⇾ must be 18+ to read

- guide -

fluff ❀ | angst ⌘ | smut ✧ | ultimate fav ❥

f2l ➻ friends to lovers | e2l ➻ enemies to lovers | ex2l ➻ exes to lovers | i2l ➻ idiots to lovers | s2l ➻ strangers to lovers

❐ future hearts @ jungblue ❥ ❀ ⌘ ✧ ↱ punk!jk | ft. pjm | series

❐ feels like summer @ badbhye ❀ ⌘ ✧ ↱ neighbor!au | one shot

❐ what are best friends for? @ lovelyyyoongi ❀ ⌘ ↱ highschool!au | bffs!au | f2l | ft. pjm | one shot

❐ block party @ minlucent ❥ ⌘ ✧ ↱ college!au | fuckboy!au | neighbor!au | e2l | two shot

❐ i got you on my mind @ bangtanbombimagines ⌘ ↱ soulmate!au | fuckboy!au | series

❐ love alive @ jamaisjoons ❥ ❀ ⌘ ✧ ↱ ex2l | one shot

❐ in your eyes @ sweetaesuga ❥ ❀ ⌘ ✧ ↱ college!au | fratboy!jk | ex-fuckboy!jk | f2l | one shot

❐ tease @ adonis-koo ❥ ❀ ⌘ ✧ ↱ stripper!jk | one shot

❐ hidden stars @ jungblue ❥ ❀ ⌘ ✧ ↱ idol!au | series

❐ oh my God, they were (quarantined) roommates @ ot7always ❥ ❀ ✧ ↱ college!au | roommates!au | one shot

❐ all over you @ zibermuda ❥ ❀ ⌘ ✧ ↱ nerd!jk | fuckgirl!reader | series

❐ shield @ rmverse ❥ ❀ ✧ ↱ security guard!jk | bartender!reader | one shot

❐ southpaw @ starshapedkookie ❥ ❀ ⌘ ✧ ↱ boxing!au | college!au | childhoodf2l | one shot

❐ it takes two @ junghelioseok ❥ ❀ ⌘ ✧ ↱ fakedating!au | roomate!au | one shot

❐ first and last @ kookiesjoonies ✧ ↱ f2l | one shot

❐ beast @ jimidol ❥ ❀ ⌘ ✧ ↱ established relationship | one shot

❐ stay with me @ svenotes ❥ ❀ ✧ ↱ established relationship | one shot

❐ after i left you @ latetaektalk ❥ ❀ ⌘ ↱ exes!au | e2l | one shot

❐ make it right @ jungkxook ❥ ⌘ ✧ ↱ punk!jk | band!au | ex2l | one shot

❐ by its cover @ gimmesumsuga ❥ ❀ ✧ ↱ one shot

❐ see you around @ ddaengtae ❥ ❀ ✧ ↱ college!au | s2l | fitness instructor!jk | one shot

❐ get even @ egoist-joon ❥ ❀ ✧ ↱ college!au | sports!au | e2l | one shot

❐ ego killer @ zibermuda ❥ ❀ ⌘ ✧ ↱ fuckboy!jk | nerdy!reader | series

❐ here i come @ chateautae ❥ ✧ ↱ college!au | pwp | one shot

❐ more than friends @ jksangelic ❥ ❀ ⌘ ✧ ↱ roommate!jk | two shot

❐ last call @ xjoonchildx ❥ ✧ ↱ bartender!jk | one shot

❐ untitled @ junghelioseok ❀ ✧ ↱ established relationship | drabble

❐ the love project @ gukyi ❥ ❀ ↱ college!au | f2l | one shot

❐ holidating @ yeojaa ❥ ❀ ⌘ ✧ ↱ bffs!au | one shot

❐ popular-ish @ hansolmates ❥ ❀ ⌘ ✧ ↱ popular!jk | fwb!au | series

❐ hot boy bummer @ jungkxook ❥ ❀ ✧ ↱ fuckboy!jk | fwb!au | f2l | one shot

❐ melomaniac @ jungkxook ❥ ❀ ⌘ ✧ ↱ punk!jk | band!au | f2l | one shot

❐ you are mine @ deathbyyoongi ⌘ ✧ ↱ college!au | one shot

❐ the masked stranger @ nottojay ❀ ✧ ↱ costumeparty!au | one shot

❐ edacity @ jjungkooksthighs ❀ ⌘ ✧ ↱ college!au | bf!jk | one shot

❐ bloody hell @ personasintro ❀ ✧ ↱ established relationship | one shot

❐ a hero’s journey @ hansolmates ❥ ❀ ⌘ ✧ ↱ bestfriend’sbf!au | one shot

❐ cream and sugar @ gukslut ❥ ✧ ↱ escort!au | barista!au | e2l | series

❐ devil in a new suit @ yeojaa ❥ ❀ ⌘ ✧ ↱ richboy!au | one shot + drabbles

❐ paddle with me @ yoongsgguktae ❥ ✧ ↱ summercamp!au | e2l | pwp | ongoing

❐ love shop @ jjungkookislife ❥ ❀ ⌘ ✧ ↱ semi-sexwork!au | one shot

❐ lonely hearts club @ dovechim ❥ ❀ ✧ ↱ e2l | one shot

❐ good girl @ bonny-kookoo ❀ ⌘ ✧ ↱ one shot

❐ here comes the bride, all dressed in pride @ hansolmates ❀ ↱ fakingdating!au | one shot

❐ fwb @ btsarmy9593 ❥ ❀ ✧ ↱ fwb!au | f2l | one shot

❐ ember burning @ kpopfanfictrash ❥ ❀ ⌘ ✧ ↱ fantasy!au | e2l | one shot

❐ the habits of a broken heart @ softykooky ❥ ❀ ⌘ ↱ soulmates!au | unrequited love | e2l | one shot

❐ swipe right @ ppersonna ❥ ❀ ✧ ↱ bffs2l | one shot

❐ let’s play: dirty @ jungkxook ❥ ❀ ✧ ↱ youtube!jk | roommates!au | e2l | one shot

❐ it’s a heartbeat @ inkofyoongi ❥ ❀ ⌘ ✧ ↱ college!au | ft. yoongi | e2l | ongoing

❐ countless promises @ sungvin97 ❀ ↱ christmas!au | one shot

❐ the wedding planners @ gukyi ❥ ❀ ⌘ ✧ ↱ wedding!au | e2l | one shot

❐ out of the blue @ jungkxook ❥ ❀ ✧ ↱ youtuber/gamer! jk | established relationship | one shot

❐ the art of the rom-com @ gukyi ❥ ❀ ⌘ ↱ film-major!au | college!au | e2l | one shot

❐ neighbour @ imagniation ❀ ✧ ↱ neighbor!jk | one shot

❐ jealous @ jungk0oksthighs ✧ ↱ established relationship | jealous!jk | series

❐ another taste @ bratkook ✧ ↱ rockstar!jk | pwp

❐ all over you @ taegularities ❥ ❀ ⌘ ✧ ↱ fantasy!au | hp!au | ex2l | e2l | one shot

❐ heated @ whatifyoulivelikethat ✧ ↱ chbffs!au | one shot

❐ the art of war more @ kpopfanfictrash ❥ ❀ ⌘ ✧ ↱ college!au | e2l | one shot

❐ i don’t mind @ bratkook ❥ ❀ ⌘ ✧ ↱ rockstar!jk | band!au | s2l | two shot

❐ not yet almost right now @ bratkook ❥ ❀ ⌘ ✧ ↱ neighbor!au | i2l | series

❐ sweeter than sugar @ jungkxook ❥ ❀ ✧ ↱ ceo!jk | sugar daddy!au | one shot

❐ open invitation @ jimidol ❥ ❀ ⌘ ✧ ↱ nobility!au | historical!au | married! au | one shot

❐ cry baby @ namgee ❥ ❀ ✧ ↱ pwp

❐ overdrive @ junqkook ❥ ✧ ↱ vampire!au | soulmate!au | one shot

❐ piss off your parents @ littlemisskookie ❥ ✧ ↱ bad boy!au | roommates!au | fakingdating!au | one shot

❐ long lost @ gukyi ❀ ⌘ ↱ childhoodf2l | celebrity!au | one shot

❐ blizzard @ curly-bangtan ❀ ✧ ↱ roommate!au | s2l | one shot

❐ ice prince @ gukyi ❥ ❀ ↱ figure skating!au | e2l | one shot

❐ stay @ jungxkook ❥ ❀ ⌘ ✧ ↱ pop star!jk | one shot

❐ heartthrob @ ningningnim ❀ ✧ ↱ college!au | e2l | one shot

❐ do you want me (dead?) @ gukyi ❀ ↱ hogwarts!au | e2l | one shot

❐ idealizations concerning real life relations @ venusiangguk ❥ ⌘ ✧ ↱ fuckboy!jk | fwb!au | s2l | one shot

❐ white lies @ noteguk ❥ ❀ ⌘ ✧ ↱ bffs2l | fakedating!au | one shot

❐ late fee @ 1kook ❥ ✧ ↱ f2l | one shot❐ you up ? @ jjungkookislife ❥ ⌘ ✧ ↱ fuckboy!au | one shot

❐ after midnight @ gyukult ❥ ❀ ⌘ ✧ ↱ fwb!au | fuckboy!jk | doctor!reader | series

❐ fuck me forever @ bangtangalicious ❥ ✧ ↱ college!au | fwb!au | fuckboy!jk | drabble series

❐ touch me wherever @ bangtangalicious ❥ ✧ ↱ innocent!au | pwp one shot series

❐ steamy @guktwt ❥ ✧ ↱ gym!au | pwp

❐ keen @ venusiangguk ❥ ✧ ↱ established relationship | pwp

❐ bonus @ minyfic ❥ ❀ ✧ ↱ coworker!au | one shot

❐ liars and fire @ kpopfanfictrash ❥ ⌘ ✧ ↱ exes!au | one shot

❐ sharp cookie @ minyfic ❥ ❀ ⌘ ✧ ↱ exes!au | ceo!jk | one shot

❐ banana milk @ kimnjss ❥ ✧ ↱ s2l | one shot

❐ the lines between us @ chateautae ❥ ⌘ ✧ ↱ detective!au | fwb!au | e2l | one shot

❐ studio session @ writtenwhalien ❥ ❀ ⌘ ✧ ↱ fwb!au | brother’s best friend! au | one shot

❐ after hours @ intokook ❥ ❀ ↱ established relationship | drabble

❐ in your head @ kookiecrumb ❀ ⌘ ✧ ↱ royalty!au | one shot

❐ friends @ lovelytaes-blog ❀ ⌘ ↱ hogwarts!au | f2l | i2l | one shot

❐ order up @ ressjeon ❥ ✧ ↱ restaurant!au | waiter!au | s2l | pwp

❐ ripped jeans @ kookiesjoonies ❥ ✧ ↱ idol!au | established relationship | pwp

134 notes · View notes

ggukkieland · 3 years

Text

📕CURRENT READS (2020 November)

🌹 Almost done with the list except for a few and I am excited to curate fics that are fitting for merry December 🎅❄🎄🤶 woot woot!

I enjoyed this month’s reads - a mix of cyberpunk au, android au, werewolf aus, slice of life, exes and those on the verge of breaking up, and lots of beautifully-written drabbles which ended up in my list of favorites.

Please send these authors some love by reblogging their content =)

✅ - done reading | S (smut) F (fluff) A (angst)

🥕[Ongoing Series - to check weekly]

Still reading the ongoing series from October’s reading list, whenever there is an update 😊.

Onyx @springbean - JJK | ABO universe, omega!reader, rouge!Alpha!Jungkook, roommates, cyberpunk au | A, F (this is so fascinating)

[2/?] years after the war, Soketh has become a bustling electric city of life and death. a world now filled with mystery, danger, and rules, y/n finds herself rooming with her old friend while trying to find herself in the city of dangerous dreams. however, her world is turned upside down when a rouge alpha enters their life seeking refuge and help…

Vulgar and Divine @yeoldontknow - JHS | elf!hoseok au, enemies to lovers, arranged marriage, fantasy au, horror, suspense | A, S

[1/?] The Elf King buys your hand in marriage as an act of political strategy - you, the Banshee Priestess and your ability to forewarn death in exchange for your people’s return to your original home in the River Lands. You hate him for the way his kind make a mockery of death. Even before you meet him, you decide you will not grieve his death - not even a little. But then, on the day of your wedding you begin to weep - and it is not out of love or rapture.

Kitchen Confidential @glitter-kookiedough - KSJ | chef au, slow burn, enemies to lovers | A, F, S

[3/?] After years of annoying the life out of you, your rival, Kim Seokjin, pushes you a step too far and he knows it. As angry and resentful as you are, you don’t realize that something has been brewing under the surface for years. This weekend, that will change. 🌟 new chapter🌟

enemiestolovers drabble series @sincerelyourfangirl - JJK | enemies to lovers, fwb, co-workers | S, A, F

[3/?] Maybe the line between love and hate is thin. Especially when you’re in bed with Jungkook.

Challenge Accepted | What Happens When You’re not Careful | Risky Business

The Lost Luna @hobisbeautifulass - KTH | werewolf au, soulmate au, rival clans | F, A

[2/?] One Luna is born per a hundred-year cycle or so and only appears after the previous one has passed away. This Luna was forced into hiding for seventeen years, but now she’s back, bloodthirsty, and ready to reclaim her throne.

Mutual Help @personasintro - JJK | bestfriend au, fwb au, fake dating | A, S, F

[24/?] in order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires ⏤ he calls it a mutual help

Bite Me @cheeky-kookie - PJM | vampire au | A, F, S

[1/?] Growing up, you always learned to look over your shoulder at night, hoping to never run into the catlike gleam of a vampires eyes. Yet, one night on your way home you find yourself staring into the very things you feared most. Dangerously beautiful and undeniably confident, Park Jimin was everything you knew you needed to stay away from, but he had other plans.

Nut Jobs @ironicarmy - OT7 | slice of life, crack, humor, friends au | S

[5/?] Eight friends. One terrible idea. A whole lot of trouble. Welcome to No Nut November.

Cherry Pickers @kimnjss - JJK | social media au, smau, gamer, fuckboi, vixen!reader, virgin!reader | F, S, A

[4/?] [updates daily] known for your body and surrounded by rumors about your sex life… rumors that he doesn’t think to doubt. until he’s meeting you… forced to realize there’s much more to you then the thonged shorts and lacy costumes.

(or, you’re a video vixen with an assumed identity and jungkook manages to see past it.)

Across the Board @out-of-jams - KTH | 20s, gambling, mafia au, enemies to lovers | S, A

[1/?] And now you’re indebted to the city’s most dangerous mob boss, forced to pay your dues in blood one way or another. With a gun pushed into your hands and your life at stake; once you’re in, you’re in. You’ll never get out.

🥕[Completed AUs/Series/Drabbles - to read]

Through Time and Space @taephilia - 10.6k | KSJ | F, A, sci-fi, time travel au, adventure, doctor who au

re: Untitled @to-star-lake - 18.8k | JJK | A, S, F, ceo au, arranged marriage, childhood acquaintance turned enemies (one of my favorites this month 🥰)

01 02 03 04 ✅

Moral of the Story @suhdays - 7.7k | JHS | A, F, S, strangers to loves, soulmate au, OC can tell if people are telling the truth (really interesting) ✅

In the Margins @bonvoyagenoona - 31k | MYG | F, S, A, writer au, humor, enemies to friends to lovers, slow burn, editor!reader, writer!yoongi [also on AO3]

01: Winter (5k words) ✅ 02: Spring (6k words) 03: Summer (7k words) 04: Fall (13k words)

Into my Bones @inkofyoongi - 15k | MYG | S, F, A, fwb to lovers, slice of life-ish, non-chronological (this is awesome 🌟) ✅

A Human Touch @snackhobi - 39.1k | KTH | F, S, robot au, android!taehyung

01 ✅ 1.5 02 (will finish the rest of the chapters; this is so good)

Supply and Demand @scribblemetae - 5.7k | MYG | S, A, supernatural au, telepathic!myg, strangers to lovers, enemies to lovers ✅

More than Us @jeongi - 11.3k | KTH | F, S, college au, roommate au, best friend to lovers

Moirai @jimlingss - 46.9k | KTH | F, A, isekai au, fantasy au, reborn as a villain in a video game

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Taking Flight @rmnamjoons - 15.2k | KNJ | S, sci-fi, post-apocalypse, rivals to friends to lovers au

Lining’s Silver @sketchguk - 14.1k | MYG | S, F, College au, idiots to lovers, enemies to lovers

Even a Forest Fire Dies Out @9uk - 6.6k | JJK | A, F, exes au (a re-read) ✅

Southpaw @starshapedkookie - 30k | JJK | A, S, F, childhood friends, college au, boxer au, kinda e2l-ish (a re-read, that fight scene was just exhilarating) 🔥🥊 ✅

All That We Had @starlightauroras-writes - 13k | JJK | Heavy A, S, F, exes au, reunion, ex-husband!JK ✅ (author said there’ll be Pt2)

After the Honeymoon Fades @onherwings - 13k | MYG | A, S, F, established relationship (on the rocks), producer!yoongi, professor!OC ✅

Cozy Thief @bratkook - 5.1k | JJK | F, S, roommates au, mutual pining ✅

Quiet Baby by bratkook - 3.2k | JJK | S, established au, pwp, exhibitionism✅

Come Over by bratkook - 7.2k | JJK | S, pwp, neighbors au, voyeurism ✅

Tear You Apart by bratkook - 17.4k | KTH | S, pwp, slight horror, paranormal

01 ✅ 02 (to read)

Breathe @ephemeralkookie - 6.9k | JJK | A, S, F, exes au, multiple break-ups ✅

Shield @namgukgalore - 18.6k | JJK | F, S, slow burn, security guard!JJK, co-workers au ✅

Imitation of Art by namgukgalore - 9.6k | KTH | F, S, romance, friends to lovers

High School Reunion @btsarmy9593 - 6k | MYG | F, reunion, second chances ✅

One Night Ride by btsarmy9593 - 3.8k | JJK | F, hints of S, college!JK, noona, one night stand au ✅

Off the Table @fakeleaves - 11k | KNJ | A, F, exes to lovers ✅

By its Cover @crystaljins - 38.9k | JHS | F, A, enemies to lovers, demon au, magic/supernatural, witch!reader

01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 ✅

Your Eyes Tell @njkbangtan - 40k | JJK | A, F, mild S, soulmate au, roommates au, enemies to lovers, slow burn, a bit sugar baby au, lawyer!reader, artist!jungkook

01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12 13 14 15 ✅

Popular-ish (drabble series) @hansolmates - 16.1k | JJK | F, S, A, popular!JJK, normie!reader, college au, fwb-ish

01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12 13 ✅ 🥰

One More Time (Finale) - 7.3k | reunion ✅

No One @dfdph - 21k | JJK | A, extreme sports, slice of life, epistolary (in form of letters), heavy angst (not kidding! with trigger warnings; written so beautifully but angst may not be for all) ✅

Repercussions: Suspenders, Satin and Stockings @pars-ley - 3.1k | MYG | S, pwp, established relationship ✅

Have Faith in Me @aroseforyoongi - 6.4k | KTH | S, F, werewolf au, soulmates au, bestfriends to lovers ✅

The Art of Boxing @seokiie - 3.1k | JJK | S, pwp, boxing au ✅

Beautiful Confession @btsracket - 6.3k | JJK | S, F, fake dating, friends to lovers ✅

Tongue Tied @btssavedmylifeblr - 12k | PJM | S, F, minor A, crack, demon au, idol verse, established relationship, pwp ✅

Infamous @sugaxjpg - 12.5k | KTH | S, A, secret relationship au, fuckboy au ✅

Familiar Stranger @army-author - 7.3k | KTH | F, friends to lovers, high school au, mixed-up identity ✅

Strangers Again @minniefilms - 11.4k | JJK | A, F, enemies to lovers, best friend’s boyfriend

01 02 03 04 drabble ✅

Ruin Him @kingsuckjin - 3.5k | JJK | S, pwp, virgin!JK, coworker au ✅

Sex Education @extravaguk - 12k | JJK | S, F, A, brother’s best friend, virgin!OC (actually came out fluffier than expected 🥰) ✅

In your Eyes @sweetaesuga - 10.6k | JJK | S, F, A, college au, fratboy au, ex-fuckboy jk, friends to lovers ✅

Drabble Series: In Your Heart [4/11] ✅

Lunar Violence @taetaesbaebaepsae - 7.4k | JJK | S, rock band au, werewolf au, ABO dynamics, strangers to lovers ✅

A Fallen Bookmark on a Thursday Afternoon @cutaepatootie - 19k | JJK | A, F, S, strangers to lovers, takes the same train every Thursday 😭 ✅

There You Are @joonkookiemonster - 13.4k | JJK | F, S, ABO dynamics, werewolf au ✅

Here I Come @jiminssthetic - 3k | JJK | S, pwp, college au, friends to lovers ✅

Morning Rush @atdawnsuga - 3.2k | JJK | S, college au, exhibitionism, strangers ✅

(in)Satiable @thatlongspringnight - 11.3k | JJK | S, F, incubus au, lucid dreams ✅

The Red Pool @ksmuttherapy - 3.1k | JJK | S, horror, vampire au, dusk til dawn vibes

inTOXICated @sugarjaee - JJK | A, S, toxic relationship, college au, fboi au

01 02 03 04 05 06 ✅

Inebriated [Jungkook’s POV] - 7.4k, read after chapter 4 ✅

You’re so Creepy (drabble series) @whatifyoulivelikethat - 2k per member | OT7 | F, crack, university au, creepy girl au, (actually cute)

There’s always at least one campus creepy girl. Or seven. Part 1 (1st kiss) Part 2 (2nd meeting)

kim namjoon - part i | part ii (fave) ✅

kim seokjin - part i | part ii (fave) ✅

min yoongi - part i | part ii ✅

jung hoseok - part i | part ii (fave) ��

park jimin - part i | part ii (fave) ✅

kim taehyung - part i | part ii ✅

jeon jungkook - part i | part ii ✅

🥕[Drabbles]

Feeling @sometimeinjoon - 2.3k | JJK | demon JJK, established relationship, a bit slice-of-life | love this so much ✅🥰

Warmth @artaefact - 306 words | JJK | fluff, fantasy au, incandesce couple ✅

Too Close @taestybae - 1.4k words | JJK | expecting parents au, boxer au, angst ✅

“i’m yours, in every way you’ll have me” by taestybae - 0.8k | KTH | S, A, fwb au ✅

“Are you Sure?” by taestybae - 2k | KTH | S, F, brother’s best friend | love this! ✅ 🥰

“The strings are attached already” @taetaespeaches - 1.8k | KNJ | angst, fwb ✅

Deep End @latetaektalk - 2.2k | MYG | angst, fuckboy au, a bit of fluff ✅

Game Boy @suqakoo - 2.7k | JJK | S, gamer au, enemies to lovers, a bit of fluff ✅🔥

Reese’s It’s All for You @joonkookiemonster - 3.1k | JJK | F, demon au, roommate au, Driving me Wild Halloween Drabble ✅

Transparent @kingsuckin - 793 words | JJK | S, pwp, established relationship, see-through JJK shirt 😉 ✅🔥

Savage Love @whatifyoulivelikethat - | JJK | S, pwp, OC is yoongi’s ex 😬 ✅

🌹 Drabbles by @zephyoongist - I love the way these are written. Just beautiful. Truly fluffy (like butterflies in my stomach) and also gives off a deep/for keeps type of dynamics between the characters:

you and yoongi had an unusual friendship... - 665 words | MYG | fluff, mutual pining, friends to lovers ✅🥰

kim taehyung had only met you a few times… - 1.2k | KTH | fluff, accidental pregnancy au ✅🥰 (a fave)

there wasn’t any particular reason as to why min yoongi chose you to be his mate - his luna… - 840 words | MYG | fluff, werewolf au, slice of life ✅🥰

jung hoseok found you when you were about to make the biggest mistake of your life… - 1.5k | JHS | fluff, runaway bride, slice of life | really cute ✅🥰

540 notes · View notes

tlbodine · 4 years

Text

When the Timeline Split

2016 was a crazy year.

My perspective on it, like anyone else’s, is colored and clouded by my own experiences, like the personal tragedy of an unexpected job loss. Things had been strange and bad in the world before, of course, an ebb and flow of tragedy. But four years ago, somehow the world shifted cataclysmically, irrevocably, into a dark new timeline.

I remember early in the election assuming that the race would come between Hilary Clinton and Jeb Bush. I was not thrilled at the prospect. I was researching other candidates, taking the quiz I have relied on for previous elections, and discovered Bernie Sanders -- someone whose ideals aligned almost perfectly with my own, something I’d never seen before in a candidate. I didn’t know that “Democratic Socialist” was an option, but that sure as hell described me.

And for a brief while, it looked like he might win.

I remember the Idaho caucus. I remember the, “Holy shit, this could actually happen!” feeling. I indulged myself in imagining a future where all of the things I cared about were addressed -- socialized healthcare, student debt forgiveness and free education, green new deal, tax on the wealthy.

It was the last time I have felt true and genuine hope. More than four years ago, today, was the last time I thought about the future and imagined it could be good.

Donald Trump seemed like a joke candidate at first. Good for a laugh. Good for a meme.

I remember the exact moment that changed for me. I was at the gym, a 6am workout before my commute. The news was on, the television above the treadmill, some morning show where they were talking ad nauseum about whatever new impropriety Trump had done. I thought: Holy shit, the media is going to hand this man the election. They cannot help themselves. He’s like catnip to them. They’re giving him all the free publicity in the world and he’s going to win because of it.

And, of course, that’s exactly what happened.

A rash of celebrities died in 2016: Alan Rickman, David Bowie, Gene Wilder, Prince, Ron Glass, Glen Frey -- many others besides.

It became something of a dark joke. When Glen Frey died, everyone was posting "Hotel California" on social media in tribute. I was irritated (couldn't they have used one of the Eagles songs that Frey actually sang? "Take It Easy"? "Tequila Sunrise"? Come ON!). My best friend and coworker, who shared two hours of commute with me every day, decided that "Hotel California" was simply The Song You Played when a celebrity died. We played it with gentle irony for every celebrity death, even Fidel Castro.

The celebrity deaths set a strange, grim tone for the year. We joked: They’re leaving before things get any worse. Eventually, we started to believe it.

Mass shootings were reported seemingly every week, but all of them were dwarfed by then-record-breaking 49 deaths in Pulse Night Club, a hate crime of unfathomable size.

But perhaps more than anything, 2016 was weird.

Pepe the Frog, a cartoonish internet meme, became a Nazi dogwhistle.

Bernie Sanders became an unwitting meme lord, probably with the help of 4chan trolls and Russian hackers.

People reported sightings of scary clowns all over the country.

Liberal friends started fighting each other out in the open on social media, and sometimes in person, during the most divisive primary election I’ve ever witnessed.

The internet filled with conspiracy theories about Russia and Iran and inevitable war.

“This is Fine Dog” became the rallying symbol of the year for many -- a dog cheerfully ignoring the room on fire around him.

On May 28, 2016, a silverback gorilla named Harambe was fatally shot in a zoo after a child got into his enclosure. There was a brief ripple of genuine controversy surrounding the zookeeper’s decision. Some misanthropes wondered whether the life of a human was, necessarily, always more valuable than the life of an endangered gorilla. Fueled almost certainly by racism and the ironic edgelord culture of the internet, Harambe became a meme -- Justice for Harambe! Dicks out for Harambe!

Given the backdrop of Black Lives Matter protests that had already been taking place across the country, and the ongoing murder of black people by police, it seems self-evident that the Harambe meme was a racist dogwhistle. Not everyone who shared it was probably aware of that -- but it had a meanness there at its center, a cruelty, the hint of a dark equivocation between a 17-year-old gorilla and, say, 17-year-old Trayvon Martin.

In hindsight, for me, I think Harambe’s death was the moment when something in the fabric of our social reality snapped.

Nothing so fully encapsulates the exact tenor of modern discourse -- irreverent, nihilistic, performative, and absurd.

Of course the society that joked about a dead gorilla would elect Donald Trump as president.

Today is May 28, 2020. Four years to the day since Harambe.

Today is the third day of nationwide riots and looting as black communities protest the death of George Floyd, who was pinned by the neck to the ground for seven minutes by a police officer, while other officers looked on. Floyd’s abuse and death were captured on video, but the police have not been charged with any crime.

Years of peaceful protest have amounted to nothing, and so things have reached a fever pitch. As we speak, a police precinct in Minneapolis is on fire.

It is May 28, 2020, and 100,000 Americans have died from a global pandemic. 40 million people are out of work. The country was brought to a halt, shutting down helter-skelter in an attempt to keep people safe, and no long-term plan was enacted during that period for re-opening. People return to work now, putting themselves in danger.

The president refuses to acknowledge these deaths in any meaningful way. He complains, instead, that this pandemic is unfairly hurting his campaign. He claims that no one has been treated more unfairly.

Black people make up 13% of the population but represent 25% of deaths from the Covid-19 pandemic.

Today is May 28, 2020, in the midst of the deadliest pandemic in a century, with nationwide protests and riots, and President Donald Trump signed an executive order to threaten social media, because Twitter put a “fact check” link beneath one of his tweets.

#thoughts #wtf news #personal #musings #for my memoir one day #ha ha #recollections #politics #long post

1K notes · View notes

libermachinae · 3 years

Text

[ID: Screenshot from Robots in Disguise 29. Prowl, in profile, looks to the right. Prowl: “I lost my best friend, Prime. Megatron stood at his side and only one of them walked away.” End ID.]

I’ve never stopped thinking about this line, so! What the fuck is up with Prowl and Bumblebee’s relationship? (Spoiler alert: I do not think Bee is another ex 😔)

They first met millions of years ago when Bumblebee went to Orion Pax for help regarding horrible dream he’d been having, and from there remained in each other’s orbits, though not really friends.

[ID: From Robots in Disguise #32. Prowl and Bumblebee stand with their backs to the reader, watching Metroplex lift off in city form while a battle rages in the sky around him. Bumblebee: “Nobody said war’s logical, bud.” Prowl: “That’s my point. We’re going to do stupid things until we die.” Bumblebee: “Primus, Prowl. Lighten up. We’re not like the Decepticons!” End ID.]

During the war, they got along fine, but in the one snapshot we see there’s not a lot of friendliness between them: Prowl is talking about the futility of their war and Bumblebee happens to be someone nearby. There’s a familiarity to the way they talk to each other (I doubt many people would bother or could get away with calling Prowl “bud”), but it’s more like coworkers who have been stepping on each other’s toes for a long time than real friends. The conversation begins and ends with Prowl’s internal monologue, while Bumblebee’s perspective is just a device used to draw out more of Prowl’s thoughts. Little is shown of their relationship because at this point, it just isn’t there.

[ID: Screenshot from The Transformers #21. Optimus stands with his back to the reader in the foreground, with Bumblebee and Prowl in the Background. Prowl’s caption: “That’s when Prime filled in the ‘Bee. He took it better than I expected. Smart questions. No whining. Focused the anger. He’s going to be a great leader one day. If he gets the chance.” End ID.]

(”the ‘Bee” lol Costa’s Prowl is a specimen) Half a million years later, they’re on Earth, Bumblebee has been elected and then demoted, and Optimus is leaving with most of the Autobots while assigning them to investigate the illegal weapons trade. Prowl has thoughts on Bumblebee’s leadership, which will be the ongoing theme of their relationship for the rest of the series. In typical Prowl fashion, he will never speak these particular thoughts aloud. (continues under the cut!)

[ID: Screenshots from Spotlight: Bumblebee. Panel 1: Bumblebee points offpanel with his cane and at himself with his thumb. Bumblebee: “No, wait, hang on, Prowl—I’m in charge here.” Panel 2: Prowl points a stern finger at Bumblebee, offpanel. Prowl: “What? Come on. This isn’t about being in charge, it’s about being right.” Panel 3: Prowl, flanked by two other Autobots, walks away from Bumblebee. Prowl: “’I’m in charge.’ Optimus Prime would never put up with that kind of procedural nonsense.” End ID.]

Spotlight: Bumblebee is basically a story about Bumblebee trying to impress Prowl. It opens by showing us how little respect Prowl holds for Bumblebee, ignoring his orders and taking bots he had already assigned to different tasks. We already know that Prowl is no Optimus fan, making the dig at Bumblebee extra cutting. It also doesn’t hurt that Bumblebee’s whole story so far has been about trying to live up to Optimus, Prowl’s words coming as long-anticipated confirmation that he has failed to do so.

[ID: Screenshot from Spotlight: Bumblebee. Prowl smiles. “Means the little guy’s got more spark than I gave him credit for, these last couple million years. Taking down five bad guys on his own— and blaming himself for not stopping a hundred more? And then coming home and taking control?” End ID.]

“That’s what Prime would do.”

Recklessly endangering himself for the sake of taking down a few “bad guys”? Yeah, that actually sounds exactly like Optimus.

Bumblebee proves himself taking command and earns a little respect from Prowl, even finding the confidence to bite back for Prowl’s “procedural nonsense” comment. It marks a big shift in their relationship, and by the time they’re back on Cybertron in time for Death of Optimus Prime, they’re working together by choice rather than decree. If we’re looking for a point where they become friends, I think this is it, a whole three years before the “best friend” panel above. All it took was a “couple million years” of just tolerating each other.

And this takes us into Phase 2!

[ID: Screenshot from Robots in Disguise #1. Bumblebee waves a cellphone-like device in Prowl’s face. Prowl: “They’re not my friends.” Bumblebee: “Whatever they are—you keep them in line or I will. You understand?” End ID.]

And also into an ongoing conversation about friendship!

The pair is back on Cybertron following the events of Death of Optimus Prime and trying to figure out how to bring order to their home, and immediately disagree about the best way to do that. Bumblebee refers to the newly deputized Decepticon enforcers as Prowl’s “friends,” using the word to highlight the unprofessional, independent nature of what is essentially Prowl’s personal anti-neutral militia.

[ID: Screenshot from Robots in Disguise #1. Bumblebee: “Rodimus and his crew died. They were our friends—we can’t—can’t not eulogize them.” Prowl: “They were my comrades—dammit, my friends, too.” End ID.]

This leads into a conversation about the recently-departed Lost Light, for which Bumblebee thinks a memorial should be held. This time, when the word “friend” is used, it’s more sincere. Bumblebee also doesn’t say “my friends”—he extends an invitation that Prowl accepts, albeit clumsily.

Does he mean it, though? Prowl is not so socially bankrupt to not understand how friendships are supposed to look. Even if we dismiss his attitude to the Lost Light as general Prowlishness, this scene is followed by a conversation with Arcee in which he says he doesn’t trust anyone, which is a pretty major hurtle to get over. It’s not a stretch to assume Prowl is lying.

He never makes a move like that without a purpose, though. By referring to the Lost Light crew as his friends, he gets Bumblebee to relax and see things from his own perspective, giving him an opportunity to talk about the more pressing security issues they are facing. This, in fact, is Prowl’s go-to strategy: identify the person in power and get close to them, thereby giving him the ability to watch over how that power is wielded.

[ID: Screenshot from Robots in Disguise #1. Prowl speaks to Bumblebee over his shoulder. Prowl: “Look. every day, I watch the sun go down and wonder if we can make it another night without them. If I even want to.” Bumblebee: “Huh. I mean, yeah. Me, too.” Prowl: “I’m not emotionless, Bee. I care about Rodimus and Magnus and the rest as much as you do. But look at the situation logically.” End ID.]

That said, I don’t think Prowl is lying here. Despite how warped his worldview becomes, I do believe that at his core, Prowl wants what is best for Cybertronians (well, Autobots). Many of his darker plans were created with the intention to keep people alive, so regardless of his personal feelings to them, he is not “emotionless” and does feel something over their deaths.

[ID: First screenshot from Robots in Disguise #2. Bumblebee smirks at Prowl, holding up his electrocuting cane. Bumblebee: “Heh—same old Prowl. Wheeljack whipped it up the other day.” Prowl: I’ve got to have a talk with Wheeljack.” Second and third screenshots from Robots in Disguise #3. Panel 1: Bumblebee frowns at Prowl. “Enough! Prowl—shut up. Metalhawk has a point.” Panel 2: Prowl looks furious. Bumblebee is holding him back from lunging at someone off-panel. Prowl: “Bad move…” Bumblebee: “Down, Prowl.” End ID.]

I don’t have much to say about these scenes, except that I like them as an illustration of their dynamic in this part of the story. Cold, confrontational, and yet with a degree of familiarity I would’ve thought more fitting to a much older connection. I really can’t imagine the Prowl from half a million years ago, talking at Bumblebee about the folly of their commander, allowing himself to be held back and calmly talked down. Through their work together, something is developing that we might almost mistake for genuine friendship.

[ID: Screenshot from Robots in Disguise #4. Arcee: “Come on. I know you didn’t destroy it. You’re not that hard. But you are cold and calculating. Enough that even Bumblebee—even your only friend—thinks you might’ve.” Arcee: “Bee won’t say it. But you know that’s what he’s thinking.” Prowl: “It doesn’t bother me. Bee doubts everything. Even himself.” End ID.]

“Even Bee—even your only friend—thinks you might’ve.”

“Bee doubts everything. Even himself.”

The same phrase is used twice in the conversation to distinguish Bumblebee as an outlier (not the superpower kind, though maybe his ability to tolerate the Worst People should be considered). For Arcee, it’s in his proximity to Prowl. Prowl’s use of the phrase is a little more ambiguous, though. Is he saying that one should have faith in oneself if nothing else? It definitely fits in his worldview. Or is he saying Bumblebee is worthy of being trusted, believed in?

If so, what does that mean? Bumblebee would take Prowl’s endorsement as faith in his abilities as a leader, but we already know Prowl doesn’t view leadership that way. He needs to get an Autobot elected, and Bumblebee specifically, because he needs someone in power he can get close to and control. Bumblebee’s leadership, though perhaps not Bumblebee himself, offers Cybertron a path towards peace. So, actually, Arcee and Prowl mean the same thing: Bumblebee is special because he’s the person Prowl is closest to.

This is also the first indication we get that Bumblebee does not trust Prowl so fully as Prowl wants. As sneaky as Prowl is, it’s easy to forget sometimes that Bumblebee is his own agent with his own ability to measure the facts. He wants to trust Prowl, but that doesn’t blind him to Prowl’s reputation.

[ID: Screenshot from Robots in Disguise #5. Ironhide and Prowl cluster around Bumblebee, who looks contemplative. Prowl: “Think about what they’re say about you in the future, Bee! The Autobot that let the Decepticons go free?!” Ironhide: “He’s right—a little. Think about what the future can be. Cybertron’s our world,and tomorrow’s our day…” End ID.]

We get to see more of Bumblebee soon after, since Prowl gets cerebroshelled. Bomb-Prowl is much more ruthless than the genuine article, expressing little care for the lives of any Cybertronians, but nobody notices it around Prowl’s standard prickly persona. Bumblebee experiences growing unease with Bomb-Prowl’s methods, though interestingly does not dismiss him for it. Consider the above scene: a fight has just broken out. To resolve it, Ironhide, Starscream, and Ironhide recommend removing the Decepticons’ ID chips. Prowl is the sole voice of dissent, and Bumblebee chooses to ignore him while also maintaining their partnership.

Bumblebee can think for himself and say no to Prowl. This situation is not just Prowl manipulating and taking advantage of Bumblebee: the latter is fully capable of making his own decisions.

[ID: Screenshot from Robots in Disguise #11. Bumblebee stands on the left and Prowl on the right. Bumblebee: “Am I wearing blinders because you’re my friend? Are you even my friend?” End ID.]

When Omega Supreme is attacked, Bomb-Prowl accuses the Decepticons, opening himself up for scrutiny: Metalhawk accuses him of killing Ratbat. Bumblebee starts to express his doubts openly and he questions not only Prowl’s innocence, but their relationship altogether. (Also, though literally Bumblebee is asking, “Can I consider you, Prowl, a friend?” his question can also be read as, “Are you who you say you are?”)

Bumblebee’s question doesn’t imply he trusts Prowl. He doesn’t even trust himself: he’s wondering if their friendship has installed in him an implicit bias in Prowl’s favor. There is a possibility his feelings regarding Prowl are strong enough to warp his perception of reality, and he’s worried that he can’t see what's obvious to everyone else. In contrast to previous leaders Prowl has watched over, Bumblebee is aware of his ability and willingness to manipulate those around him. He’s not under any illusion that Prowl is honest with him all the time, but he also isn’t confident enough in himself to remove Prowl’s influence.

[ID: Screenshot from Robots in Disguise #11. Bumblebee: “Then I want to get back to finding Ironhide and the others, because he’s my friend and friends look out for each other.” End ID.]

There is also the matter that he does consider Prowl a friend. Not a good friend (as in caring, respectful, thoughtful), but nevertheless one he does not want to lose.

[ID: Screenshot from Robots in Disguise #14. Panel 1: Bumblebee shoves Metalhawk aside and reaches for Prowl, who is collapsing to the floor. Bumblebee: “Prowl—I—” Panel 2: Prowl lies on the floor. Prowl: “Bee… it wasn’t… wasn’t me… How could you not… see that?” End ID.]

I think the feeling is mutual. Prowl’s not angry at Bumblebee for falling for the Decepticons’ trap.

He’s hurt that his friend didn’t notice he was gone.

[ID: Screenshot from Robots in Disguise #16. Ironhide helps Prowl up. Prowl: “…I’m me.” Ironhide: “Got too much of an ego ta be anybody else.” Prowl: “I—I needed to hear—” Bumblebee (off-panel): “Later, Prowl…” End ID.]

Their relationship starts to go downhill from here. After breaking free from Devastator, Prowl actually tries to talk about his feelings, and Bumblebee dismisses him. To be fair, there are other things going on that need their attention, but Prowl is never given an opportunity to process what he has been through. Bumblebee, who excels at talking to people and helping them through their problems, never offers a space for Prowl to open up about his experience, and it’s the internalization of his trauma that leads to Prowl’s emotional degeneration through the rest of the series.

[ID: Screenshot from Robots in Disguise #18. Panel 1: Bumblebee hunches over his cane, struggling to stand. Bumblebee: “It’s *kaff*… Well, I don’t want to know *kaff kaff* what’s going on in his mind, but… Prowl didn’t do any of the *koff* terrible stuff.” Panel 2: Bumblebee stands in front of Prowl, facing the reader. Bumblebee: “He was *kaff* being controlled by Bombshell. I mean obviously he didn’t *koff* kill you guys—he didn’t blow up the Decepticon pen. He *kaff kaff* wasn’t running a secret war. He didn’t *koff* have Ratbat eliminated.” End ID.]

I don’t think Bumblebee is being intentionally malicious, though. Consider all the times Prowl has had to say outright that he feels things and has emotions: I think it’s more accurate to say Bumblebee didn’t believe him. The doubts he felt about Prowl were never with regard to his intentions, but rather the way he interacted with and understood the world around him. Bumblebee, going by the reputation Prowl made for himself, doesn’t believe Prowl processes events the same way he does, and as a result falsely assume that his mind control and forced combination will have no greater impact on Prowl.

And then even Bumblebee’s faith in Prowl’s intentions is shaken when Arcee reveals he did call for Ratbat’s assassination. Bumblebee is so betrayed he passes out.

[ID: Screenshot from Robots in Disguise #18. Panel 1: Ironhide grins to the side while Bumblebee holds a fist to his mouth, coughing. Ironhide: “Aw. An’ everything was goin’ so well…” Bumblebee: “Prowl. Why—what—*kof kofff* *koff kaf*” Panel 2: Bumblebee’s hand reaches up as he collapses. Bumblebee: “*kaf kaf* Nnnggggh…” End ID.]

The next time they interact is in Dark Cybertron. Getting close to the end, here!

[ID: First screenshot from More Than Meets the Eye #23. Bumblebee points his gun up to the off-panel Titan. Prowl stands beside him. Bumblebee: “What?!” Prowl: “You talked a good game with the Dinobots. But you need to act, too. When you were in charge of the city, you were paralyzed.” Second screenshot from Robots in Disguise #23. Panel 1: Prowl, yelling: “You’re hesitating again! Look at us! We’re teaming up with the enemy and letting Starscream do whatever he wants?!” Panel 2: Bumblebee, with a steadying hand out, stands in front of Soundwave. Bumblebee: “Prowl, shut up for once. All your attitude ever got us was… was the Constructicons.” Soundwave: “The Constructicons stand with you?” Bumblebee: “Long story, Soundwave. And this isn’t a team up. We just happen to have the same objective.” Panel 3: Prowl points at Soundwave. “Then do something! Don’t just let this—this—Decepticon control you!” End ID. Third screenshot from Robots in Disguise #23. Prowl holds up a struggling Arcee while yelling at Bumblebee. Prowl: “You let this happen, Bee! We attack now!” Bumblebee: “Prowl, get your priorities in order—” End ID.]

Evidence of Prowl’s trauma starts to become more visible. The comradery they shared before is gone; Prowl’s methodical approach to problems is gone. Instead, he is scared and impulsive, and he takes out his new anxieties on his “only friend” because Bee is the one thing he’s supposed to be able to control.

[ID: Screenshot from Robots in Disguise #26. Panel 1: Bumblebee and Prowl stand amidst flaming wreckage. Hound (off-panel): “Where’s Megatron?” Bumblebee: “He’s… I think he’s gone. He took the thumb and ran.” Prowl: “Dammit. You should have never done back for him, Bee.” Panel 2: Bumblebee grabs Prowl’s neck. Bumblebee: “Prowl, you smug piece of—” Prowl: “Uk!” Panel 3: Bumblebee releases Prowl. Bumblebee: “I’ve had enough of your self-righteous second-guessing…” End ID.”

But he can’t. Bumblebee has gotten used to ignoring Prowl or refuting him. Add to that Prowl’s heightened emotional state, and Bumblebee responds to his criticism with open aggression. Stuck in crisis mode like they are, there is no way for them to reset and calm down until the Titan is finally taken down and everything comes to a standstill for a moment.

[ID: Screenshot from More Than Meets the Eye #27. Prowl leans close to Bumblebee, gesturing to his head. The Constructicons linger in the background. Bumblebee: “Oh, good. I was hoping your friends would could out of hiding.” Prowl: “They weren’t—I mean, they’re not—They just shared my memories. The Decepticons exploited my—my—my head!” End ID.]

And with this, we cycle back to their first conversation in Robots in Disguise. Before, Bumblebee used the word “friends” to criticize Prowl’s Decepticon enforcers and the freedom they were granted to terrorize the neutrals. Prowl, known to circumvent the chain of command, decided to forgo it almost entirely in that case, creating a violent, lawless group that did not fit into the military structure the Autobots still relied on.

Now, he uses “friend” to refer to the enthusiasm the Constructicons have for Prowl. Prowl’s deceit has been brought into the open, legitimizing Bumblebee’s fears and forcing him to question all over again his role as a leader. The doubts he had in himself and Prowl are tied together, so that even with the knowledge that everything that happened to Prowl was out of his control, he still feels threatened by the Decepticon presence Prowl now carries with him.

And even though he’s met with this kind of hostility, Prowl still comes back to Bumblebee to continue work as his advisor. He’s got a group of bots literally right there who trust him and support him without reservation, but he chooses Bumblebee because he still believes in their power to do right by Cybertron.

[ID: Screenshot from More Than Meets the Eye #27. Prowl stands on the left, Bumblebee on the right. Prowl: “Bee—we stopped his plan, but Shockwave is still out there.” Bumblebee: I know, and you’re totally right, and anything less than a perfect attack plan and we’re sunk—so I need you to come up with one. In the meantime—mingle. There has to be somebody you want to say ‘hi’ to.” Prowl: “Actually…” End ID.]

This is the last time they talk to each other. Prowl reminds him of the impending danger, Bumblebee is grateful for his expertise, and then he encourages Prowl to go relax. There’s something to be said for the fact that upon leaving Bumblebee’s side, Prowl immediately seeks out his ex, but I think it’s mainly just that he’s lonely rather than anything nefarious. He’s lonely, and despite their distrust and criticism and generally poor treatment of each other, Bumblebee is someone who accepts his company, a rare thing that’s he’s going to lose very soon.

When I first read the words “best friend,” I assumed Prowl was lying. I also assumed, even if that was true, it would not hold in the reverse. I think I’ve changed my mind on both counts. Prowl didn’t pursue Bumblebee with genuine intentions, but they both ended up getting something out of it. It’s not a healthy relationship, but at a tumultuous time in their lives it might literally be the best they can do and in their own ways, they trust they’re going to look out for each other.

[ID: Screenshot from Robots in Disguise #18. Bumblebee, with his cane, leans on Prowl as they leave the ruins of Iacon. Their plating bears obvious damage, and ash and dust float through the air around them. End ID.]

#maccadam #transformers #prowl #bumblebee #idw #meta #thoughts #i gotta rewrite sparklight #next project after solenoid and fault lines

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starlightmaker17 · 4 years

Text

So about Stolitz...

So I have been looking at the relationship on Blitzo and Stolas in Helluva Boss.... and I like to think it is a complex ship that could develop into a great one.

For starters, those who have seen the pilot can somewhat agree that Stolas was pretty creepy with that phone call- not exactly a good first impression (who cares- it’s hell). But upon further examination on Instagram and showings of episodes in progress, I have some things to mention.

Start with Stolas:

It is very clear that Stolas at least cares for the well being of Blitzo. Given, we don’t know of his relations and treatment to everyone else other than with his daughter and wife. But he seems to be in friendly terms with the IMP team and vise versa. He even buys them coffee. The guy can draw, garden, and is shown to be a very devoted father to Octavia (who shows typical teenager behavior- just as loving but also seeming embarrassed). On top of that he has dorky moments, but this could easily be due to loneliness or lack of social skills. It explains why he didn’t have an Instagram account until his daughter convinced him to doing it- he likely has no friends (his wife’s status is yet to be determined). He barely gets along with some Overlords. He is morally grey on some situations- given he is a prince of hell (but Charlie is princess and she is her own case). He really could be just a lonely soul forced into an arranged marriage and didn’t have anyone to talk to- until he came upon Blitzo.

Now, onto Blitzo:

The guy has lots of issues going on with him, down to the point of obsessively intruding his coworkers’ personal lives and overspending their business fundings without thinking of the consequences. The guy’s only true hobby is stalking them or obsessing over his horse, or his business. Based on little background we have, it is implied that Blitzo and his sisters worked in a circus at some point and had a less than supportive dad. There was little to no mention of the mother being involved, so this creates a scenario where if the parents are not involved enough in a child’s life, then that child will look for that attention elsewhere. Hence, the circus. This certainly explains the over-the-top behavior he exhibits in trying to promote his business, even when it is slowing down. Furthermore, because he had little family involvement and memories, he tries to compensate that by comparing his business as his family - it’s all he most likely has, and will do whatever it takes to keep it running. Is it sane? Not at all- but it shows he cares at least about his employees, even if they treat him like garbage or a nuisance at times. He even lets Loona get away with inappropriate behavior and misconduct. So long as he gets the attention, he does not care.

This leads to him meeting Stolas. The guy has the money, a means to keep his business going, and links that could get him A LOT OF ATTENTION. Blitzo already demonstrated no sense of chain in command etiquette, so this probably got Stolas’ attention as he’s most likely treated like a prince all the time. It is unknown how their affair started, but perhaps they made a business deal (considering how little Stolas seems to care how Blitzo uses the grimoire other than getting caught). Literally, Stolas had no reason to give an imp a powerful family heirloom unless there was something in it for him - maybe he was doing it for the sake of the thrill and ease his boredom. He would get into potential trouble with the Royal Family regardless.

Maybe something happened to where Stolas kept getting sincere (if a bit blunt) treatment from Blitzo and Blitzo finally got attention from someone important. This developed a bond that became rocky - Blitzo got his business running, and Stolas has someone interested in talking to him as an equal. Over time, the more the business began to plummet, the more Blitzo went to schmooze Stolas for more investment. This may make Stolas think Blitzo became more interested in him as a person rather than as a business investor, and at some point their affair became more frequent. Soon enough, it gets to point Blitzo becomes uncomfortable at the sudden closeness they develop and tries to keep his distance, and Stolas tries to woo him back. It’s literally a game of tug-o-war: Blitzo goes to him for help but pulls back when he finishes business, and at that point Stolas keeps pursuing someone who seems to care for him as a person and not as a royal. It’s possible that Blitzo may be aware that Stolas is falling for him, and is conflicted of his own feelings since he primarily went to Stolas to save a business he treasured more than anything else. Meanwhile, Stolas tries to keep that bond strong, even instigating more communication despite the imp’s cold shoulder.

It’s not uncommon that a person who wants love is hesitant to accept it - they’ve been hurt/deserted before, so it could happen again. In Blitzo’s mind, he didn’t plan to have an ongoing affair- it most likely just happened on a whim. He has no dating history (that we know of) and came from an emotionally strained childhood so he has no healthy means of knowing how to love properly. It’s even possible he only accepts Stolas’ advances out of guilt or obligation, but that doesn’t mean he is not capable of learning to accept it and possibly returning it.

As for Stolas, he may be too obsessed having that one person finally seeming to understand him on an even level. This can be dangerous and sometimes delusional, as there is a reason why it’s called rose-tinted glasses or the grass-is-greener syndrome. He at least knows boundaries when they are needed, but lacks emotional and social intelligence. But same applies to Blitzo as well- they are being silly dorks.

We know very little of their lifestyles outside of work and business, but it seems they like to hang out together and even enjoy some of their get-togethers. It is also heavily implied that Blitzo does not like being bribed into sex for favors (which is sort of hypocritical, considering that’s what probably started the affair) and rather wants to have a relationship that isn’t too casual, but committed. Despite being married, Stolas seems to agree on this on the emotional concept. He wants to be committed to someone on his own terms, not that out of obligation.

Their needs match each other almost very well. Blitzo wants love, Stolas is willing to give it. Blitzo wants attention, Stolas gives it (more than needed sometimes). Stolas wants honesty, Blitzo gives it. Stolas has real expectations, Blitzo can work on that. Stolas doesn’t like being lonely, Blitzo can relate.

So how would I rate this ship?

8/10.

I can see great potential in it now, but it depends how it flows from here on out. We haven’t really seen them in arguments besides Blitzo being caught so that’s another factor needed. There’s too little details on them still so we’ll need to wait to see what happens.

Regardless, I stand by Vivzie’s decision 100%. This is her world and creation - I only implement my thoughts about it.

#helluva boss #stolas #blitzo #stolitz #helluva boss stolas #helluva boss blitzo #helluva boss stolitz

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