#it's 'oh not all aro's are non-partnering' or 'some aros are in qprs'
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going to be in trouble for this ngl
STARDEW CHARACTERS AND WHAT I THINK THEIR (non-farmer) PARTNERS WOULD BE.
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• Harvey x Elliot
Like, c'mon. Your telling me the charismatic poet DOESN'T get with the anxious radio listener? And they don't have any interactions ever? None? Smh bros need to kiss at least once. Or maybe just have Harvey info dump about planes to Elliot and he makes cute little plane poems for him when he's upset or stressed or generally being himself.
• Sam x Sebastian
Lets be honest with ourselves. We knew this was going to be on here, so I'm not putting down anything else.
• Maru x Penny x Abigail
This one will be long, so buckle in.
Maru and Penny were already best friends for being real good at academics. Maru and Penny like Abigail cause she's adventurous and outgoing and low-key hot. And Abigail likes Penny and Maru cause at first it was help with homework (Penny is such an easy mark to cheat off of, and Maru was Sebastian's half sister so also easy access) and then all 3 of them have an identity crisis of "oh no, I like 2 people, and they're BOTH GIRLS" but then they all meet up and do that awkward confession where one person was going to but the others started as well and its really silly except Abigail was just louder so as Penny and Maru were like "no you can go first" girl was just like "Y'ALL HOT A.F."
• Emily x Sandy
Again, we knew this would be on here. Gemstone and star signs lesbian meets cocky road trip and pot lesbian and they hit each other's joints we know this.
• Alex x Haley
Not in the jock x cheerleader way, but in the "my past has probably lead me to be a masochist" x "my past has probably lead me to be a sadist"
• Leah
I don't think she has a town partner, but she definitely finds a cute chick while visiting zuzu city for a trip with sandy (cause they bros no homo) that's really into foraging and that girl moves in with her. Her name would be like Zoey or Cindy or something.
• Shane
for Shane I think he is somewhat aro/ace (willing but not needed or nessisarily wanted) so he just wouldn't, but if he did it'd be some sort of qpr with Emily (w/o kissing. Watching you people. Girl is still a lesbian homeboy just needs physical affection once in a while.)
#stardew valley#stardew shane#sdv#stardew sebastian#sdv sebastian#sdv shane#sdv harvey#stardew#sdv elliott#sdv haley#sdv leah#sdv emily#sdv maru#sdv penny#sdv abigail#abigail sdv#maru sdv#emily sdv#leah sdv#haley sdv#sam sdv#sdv bachelors#stardew bachelors#sdv bachelorettes#stardew bachelorettes#sdv headcanons#Sdv romance headcanons#sapphic#wlw#lesbianism
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How to write aro/ace codywan for the non-aspec
Want to write something for the aro/ace codywan prompt but you're not sure how or you're afraid you'll offend someone? Here's a hopefully useful post to help you out.
Disclaimer:
I, Yellow, am only one aromantic* person and opinions may differ. This post is to be taken as suggestions for possible configurations of codywan being aro- and/or ace-spec. At the end I'll mention some pitfalls to avoid.
*formerly used the label ace for 1+ year, so is fairly familiar with pitfalls for acespec characters as well, but again ymmv.
These suggestions are focused on aro/ace people in relationships. The reason for this is that this is still a ship week, but obviously there are also aro/ace people that are not interested in partnering at all.
Suggestions and pitfalls under the cut! If you, an aro/ace-spec person, have suggestions as well, feel free to reblog them on this post, or to DM/send an ask and I'll add them!
Suggestions:
Note: a QPR = queerplatonic relationship is a relationship type that "queers the platonic". There is no defined list of things that need to or shouldn't occur for a relationship to be queerplatonic. In general you could think of it as being platonic lifepartners, but it's not strange for a QPR to be sexual or even romantic as well.
These suggestions are formatted as: Codywan's specific identities and then a (fluffy) idea for their relationship. There are infinitely many options for how relationships work, and you can definitely mix and match between these "flavors". Angst is a bit more difficult to write, but you could look at the pitfalls and use those to go for a self-doubt/acceptance route.
Flavor: Any. You're more than welcome to write a platonic relationship as well!
Flavor: Codywan are both aromantic and asexual and have no interest in romance or sex: QPR
Idea: They have such a close bond as commander and general that they feel like they are integral parts of each others lives and continue on like this after the war.
Flavor: They are not aromantic and one or both of them are asexual: romantic relationship/QPR
Idea 1; they don't have sex: "basically" write a romantic relationship without sex. Maybe you can write the conversation they have about their expectations in the relationship.
Idea 2; they do have sex: ace people can have sex if they want to, maybe they like the closeness of it or that it feels good, but they may not feel a need for having sex.
Flavor: They are not asexual and one or both of them are aromantic: sexual relationship/QPR
Option 1; no romance: Maybe they are friends with benefits and do not consider themselves in a committed relationship. Or maybe they are in a QPR and also enjoy having sex together.
Option 2; romance: Maybe they are in a romantic relationship and the aro character enjoys the "romantic" aspects just because they are pleasant to do/experience, but they may not feel a need to do these things with their partner. Here are some ideas from another aro person!
Flavor: One or both of them are demiro and/or demi-ace: anything
Demi = you only feel romantic or sexual attraction to people you are already close to (does not mean you feel the attraction to everyone you're close to).
Idea: Maybe codywan reaches a certain point in the war where they fully trust each other and have gotten close on a personal level and they get an "oh" moment where they suddenly realize they're attracted to the other.
Flavor: One or both of them are grayro and/or gray-ace: anything
Gray- = you only feel romantic or sexual attraction very rarely or weakly (below the "average" for allo people to the point that you relate to aro/ace identities)
Here you can have the fun "wait this is what you people have been talking about??" when someone has their first crush ever, but in general you can assume suddenly feeling attraction like that is very unexpected and maybe they find it very impractical to be happening right then.
Flavor: Anything! I am not a spokesperson for the whole aspec community and you're more than welcome to do your own research about identities and relationships.
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Pitfalls:
CW for implied ace/arophobia.
Note that these things can be explored when dealing with self-doubt and self-acceptance, but please do not present the things stated below as facts.
When writing aro/ace codywan getting together: do not imply that something has been "fixed" about them.
Do not imply that being a virgin is bad.
When questioned about being aro-/ace-spec, do not make statements such as "but I can still love!!" as this throws people that don't love/are distanced from love under the bus. [see Lovelessness. Originally from the aro community, but valid to use when you're not aro as well]
In that same vein: "love is what makes us human" (or sentient in star wars I suppose) is a no.
Another in that same vein: "But I can still X" statements in general get icky very quickly, as it feels like you need to make up for a lack of something.
Don't portray an ace character as "innocent" or "childish" due to their aceness. Don't portray them as not knowing anything about sex by default unless you have good (relevant) in-story reasons for it. (e.g. Cody doesn't know anything about sex because the clones had no sex-ed and he wasn't interested in learning anyway, or Cody/Obi-Wan knows the anatomical basics but nothing further because they were Not interested.)
Addition by @data-plays-viola: Don't portray ace characters as sex negative by default, unless you have good (relevant) in-story reasons for it. Sex negative asexual people exist but the two are not connected (though some may use their asexuality as an excuse, unfortunately.)
If you write an ace character that has sex, do not imply that this is a redeeming quality. Same for an aromantic character that does romantic things.
Note that not all ace people are sex repulsed and not all aro people are romance repulsed, they may also be indifferent or favourable to the idea. (X repulsed is usually being repulsed by the idea of participating in X, though for some it means being repulsed by X in general.) Do not imply that being sex/romance repulsed is the standard for aspec people.
Note 2: some aspec people see a clear event in their past that had an effect on their sexual and romantic orientations (such as trauma), but for most people being aspec is just as random as e.g. being gay or being trans. Do not attach a reason to a character being aro and/or ace without doing your research into people that feel like that.
#codywanweek#codywan week 2024#aro/ace codywan#writing aro characters#writing ace characters#writing aspec characters
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Being aroace spec can be so confusing
My first relationship was with a girl, and I kinda just went along with what she wanted to do bc I figured, well she’s enjoying it so I must be enjoying this too… I didn’t mind anything we did, I just didn’t care or think about it.
Second relationship was with a guy, and at this point my mom had made me feel incredibly guilty for having been with a girl before, joys of being afab in a religious family and the first person you date is a girl. And he was… definitely pushy. Again tho, I just went along with it bc I figured, well he wants to do this and I just have to be bi so there’s a chance I’ll be a normal girl and end up with a guy someday so I have to be enjoying this too… Yeah I definitely was feeling a lot of pressure there.
At this point, I had not felt actual sexual attraction towards anyone, and I don’t think I was ever romantically in love with either of those people.
Third relationship was with a guy who was also one of my best friends. We were kinda dating for a summer and it was a better relationship than the previous, but in the end we went back to just being friends and it was better that way.
At this point, I’m very confused, but I discover this wonderful thing called ASEXUALITY. And everything suddenly made sense. Except for one small thing.
Fourth relationship that never actually became a relationship. I was in some type of love with a different best friend, I would say demi/sapio-romantic (romantically attracted because of both an emotional and mind connection basically). But he was definitely aromantic, but allosexual. I was romantically attracted to him, but asexual… right??? For years I was confused because I wanted an actual official relationship and I would’ve been more than okay with sleeping with him. But… that can’t be sexual attraction?? I’m ace?? Right?? Ahhhhhh. Yeah so I was very confused around him. Turns out, I’m actually demi-ace, but I didn’t realize that until years later after I lost contact with him, and I’ve been too scared to reach out to him lol. Anyways I have a gf now anyways. And that’s been the only time that the demi part of my ace-ness has come out, pun intended lol.
Actual fourth relationship. Definitely romantic and completely non-sexual. Really good relationship for over a year, and that partner helped me become more comfortable with my gender identity and we both were ace and it was really good for a while. It just wasn’t a relationship that was built to grow, so eventually we drifted apart.
Fifth relationship. A non-romantic and non-sexual relationship. Lasted less than a year, but made me realize that I was also aro spec bc being in a relationship that did not have romantic or sexual expectations felt so comfortable and right.
Sixth relationship. The one that broke my heart. My other best friend in that time frame, we were incredibly close and bonded over everything, from our mental health struggles to books to sheetz runs to everything. Eventually we officially were boyfriends in a qpr. They were my number one person for so long, my life partner. There was never anything romantic or sexual, but we loved each other deeply. Until life happened and they changed and I had to break up with them and got my heart broken.
All of these took place from late middle school to early college by the way. I went from, oh I’m a girl and I like girls! To, shit I can’t like girls so I have to like boys too bc I have to be bisexual at least. To, ohhhh so I can actually not want to sleep with people and that’s normal too?? So I’m nonbinary and asexual? That makes sense. To, why why if I’m ace would I be more than okay sleeping with him??? To, huh i think I’m aro spec too. To, okay I’m definitely aro spec, probably demi-aro technically and… probably demi-ace too? Yeah that’s probably right.
At the same time, I didn’t feel as tho romantic was necessarily the right word for me. I mean I’ve experienced romantic attraction I think, but it usually felt kinda forced by either my partner’s expectations or by society’s expectations. I think that’s why my non-romantic non-sexual relationships felt so comfortable to me, bc there wasn’t any of that expectation. I have no freaking idea what romantic attraction really feels like to me. I’ve experienced it I think (??), but for several reasons including outside expectations and general-emotional-processing-issues at those times, I have a hard time knowing any emotions I was feeling at that time in my life. The “butterflies” and “spacey eyed” and “gooey lovey” feelings I felt could’ve been romantic, sure. But they could’ve also been someone who was heavily emotionally repressed all their life just being happy to have someone that they loved who loved them back and getting excited over how cute they were and enjoying their rambles and just generally being happy with someone and also liking some physical contact like hugs and cuddles bc physical touch is their love language with everyone and they like hugs with everyone they care about, and it wasn’t necessarily romantic…..
I get a similar feeling to “butterflies” when I’m nervous about something or excited to see someone in my family I haven’t seen for a while bc I love them and am excited and happy. Not necessarily a “romantic indicator”. I get “spacey eyed” all the time, and usually it’s bc I’m obsessing over my latest fanfic idea. Again, not a “romantic indicator”. I get “gooey lovey” feelings when I see an adorable animal, when someone in my family or close friend group does something really sweet for me or I’m really happy to see them or I get a hug from anyone I love. Once again, not a “romantic indicator”.
Because of all this, I have settled on alterous as my general term for the type of attraction I have with people I have or wanted to date. Alterous to me means this: “I want to be with you and talk with you and do everything with you, I just don’t care how it looks for us or how we categorize ourselves.” I would also attach romance-inclined or sex-inclined as a prefix type thing when applicable. Fourth relationship that never actually happened? Sex and romance-inclined alterous. Fourth actual relationship? Romance-inclined alterous. This doesn’t actually mean that I will feel romantic or sexual attraction or interest or desire with someone, but I may be inclined to want aspects of that type of relationship and I might have those actual feelings from time to time.
The partner that I have now, seventh relationship for those counting lol. This relationship feels stronger and better than any that I’ve had in the past. There’s no pressure or expectation about sex, and she knows that I’m on the aro spectrum, so there’s no romantic pressure either. At the same time, I love the romantic type aspects we have, but I can’t with any certainty say that my feelings are romantic, or at least not romantic all the time. But I feel about her differently than I have about anyone else. There’s several possible reasons, but one main thing I think is that I’m now in a healthier place emotionally so I can better feel and process all my emotions, including my feelings towards her.
Anyways, at this point I would say I’m aroace spec. Demi-altrose (alterous, romantic, sexual).
#smol bean thoughts#smol bean rambles#aspec#aroace#aromantic#asexual#alterous attraction#demisexual#demi ace#demiromantic#demi aro#demi rose#demi alterous#demi altrose
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I’m back with or me more begging you for some do’s and don’ts for LGBTQ+ characters because you’re cool and helpful and also I saw your reblog about sending asks in
Have any aromantic do’s and don’ts?
Oh, and you can include aroace stuff in the post. If you want.
[from the other ask.]
hello! I have many! I am a representation-starved aromantic, but I am also a very picky aromantic, so here we go!
usual disclaimer: I am one (1) guy on the internet. More specifically, I am one (1) bi-oriented aroace person. I'm glad to help, but other sources are needed! (the #actuallyaromantic, #aro, #arospec, and #aromantic tags are good other resources, imo, as well as AUREA.)
DO: make yourself familiar with aromantic terms.
Nonpartnering, partnering, aromantic, just aro, non-sam aro, demiromantic, greyromantic, romance-averse, romance-neutral, romance-positive, aroallo, aroace, angled aroace, oriented aroace, queerplatonic relationships, loveless, alterous attraction... that looks like a lot, but they can all be learned in an hour or two at most.
Lurk in the aro tag, if need be. Ask aro, arospec, and aroace blogs questions. Read the LGBTQIA wiki, if you need to. You don't have to make characters that use every aro label ever, but it's helpful to have background knowledge of what you are talking about.
DON'T: use "but they can still love in other ways", as a redeeming point.
this may seem odd--if you don't know about lovelessness, systemic arophobia, and the complex relationship that many, many aromantics have towards love. Some aromantics love and are comfortable calling the things they feel for their family/friends "love"!
But some aros are not. Some aromantics are loveless, which means they don't feel love. Whether they mean they don't like how "love" is always assumed to be romantic and therefore they feel like they don't love enough, they're uncomfortable with the word ''love'', they have difficulty categorizing their emotions and don't know if they feel love, or anything else. Often, I see loveless aros refer to their strong positive feelings as caring, fondness, closeness, and other things. Loveless aros exist, and they deserve respect.
Additionally--being aromantic does not need a ''redeeming'' point at all. It doesn't need a "but they still love their best friend" or a "but they would still get in a QPR" or a "but they still have lots of friends", because it doesn't need a but, because being aromantic is not a bad thing.
DO: acknowledge that both partnering and non-partnering aros exist.
some aromantics want a life partner (such as a queerplatonic partner). Some want to live and make life decisions with their friends. Some don't want a partner/partners at all. Some aros make the choice to have romantic relationships, whether it's because they're aro-spec and do feel some attraction, or because they aren't repulsed by romance and it's an opportunity to spend more time with the person they're close to.
You said in your additional ask that you spontaneously added more arospecs--that's good, and it gives you an opportunity to explore the variety of aromantics & aro-specs' views on partnering!
DON'T: write about what it's like to face arophobia and struggle as an aro if you're not one.
You can write aro POVs! Main characters! In any genre, including real world contemporary! And you can have moments of arophobia in the story. But don't make the entire story/plotline about *what it is like to be aromantic* if you're alloromantic--that's for aros to tell.
DON'T make aromanticism a tragedy, because it's not.
some aromantics struggle with negative feelings over our identities, and those stories deserve to be told, but 1) that is not the same as specifically painting aromanticism as a bad thing, and 2) that is not alloromantic people's responsibility to tell. Make aromantic characters, really! Make them, and show that their aro/aro-spec identities are beautiful, wonderful, important, and do not need fixing.
Some things I'd like to see:
aromantics with identities across the aro spectrum
aroaces who aren't treated like coldhearted robots. please
aroallos who aren't treated like predatory soulless sluts
aros in general who aren't painted as coldhearted or cruel
aros who aren't villains. aro heroes. I can count on one hand the amount of non-villainous aros I have ever seen in media
aros who are marginalized in multiple ways! (trans aros, aros of colour, disabled aros, etc)
aros who are happy being aromantic. So many people seem to think we hate ourselves for our aromanticism, and while that may be the case for some, it is so important to portray aros that like being aro
human aros. this may seem like a low bar, but most aros/aroaces I see are aliens and robots and while aliens and robots are both very cool, I am ready to Cut A Bitch. we're human too.
warm, happy, fun-loving aromantics
aromantic leads in sci-fi and fantasy!
aromantics in fun stories :)
aromantics in dark/sad stories... who's sadness doesn't come at all from being aromantic
other characters (aro and allo alike) that fully support the aro character and their identity
more aro rep, period. There is not enough of it.
Other aromantics feel free to add on with advice/what you'd like to see!
~
I hope this is helpful! Remember again that I'm just one aromantic, and just a starting point, but I'm hoping this is a good start.
#aro#aromantic#writing aro characters#nico yells writing advice into the void#dauntless shadow ice 1#writing characters who are X#actuallyaromantic#writblr#writing#writerblr#writeblr
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re: accusing partnering aros of enforcing amatonormativity, I’m really not sure what’s going on there either?? like, I can say that a while back a good portion of the aro blogs I follow started id’ing as loveless (which is completely fine, btw! I don’t have any problems with that label), but I’m not sure if that has anything to do with it, or if it does, if it is just a miscommunication or tone issue. are people really trying to claim being in a QPR, a nebulous relationship, or even just being an “overly” committed friend is completely accepted without romantic undertones, like people don’t still make “oh you mean like having friends” jabs about QPRs in particular? if so, yeah that’s pretty bad but since I haven’t seen someone say it that strongly I’m gonna guess it’s a miscommunication or tone issue (feel free to correct me if that’s actually what you’ve seen happening). I haven’t seen aros being outright encouraged to “replace” romance with a QPR (not to say that it could never happen), but what I HAVE seen before is people warning each other NOT to do that. again, I really don’t think I’ve seen a ton of alloro people outright encourage aros to be in QPRs or some other kind of partnership. (possible exception is how the cost of living in a lot of places is too high to be met alone or without a really good job, but that’s not the fault of aros who want to partner,,,,,, like lads that’s just amatonormativity and it affects all of us. nebulous relationships not being widely accepted is part of that???? and if it’s a thing where people are claiming you could just pretend to be a “normal” married couple, erasure is not a privilege. having to be closeted because most people wouldn’t understand your relationship is not a BENEFIT just because it could potentially protect you from social consequences)
granted, I’ve only been involved with the aro community for about a year or two, so if there’s something further there I’d like to know. sorry if I’m reading too deep into it or whatever I’m just Lost on what the hell is going on. and, non-partnering aro folk, if you’re just venting about relationship hierarchy then apologies to you too for assuming the worst🤷♂️ I don’t mean to start discourse here I just Do Not Understand /gen
re my previous ask: didn’t mean to imply that people in QPR’s need to or even WANT to get married. apologies if that’s what the wording made it seem like.
re: the addendum first of all, of course!! i didn't assume so, but thank you for the clarification regardless. people in qprs/committed nonromantic relationships can and do get married, but there's no expectation for them to need or want to! same for romantic relationships. marriage is right for some people and not right for others, and that's fine. (for some, marriage isn't an option even if they do want it, but that's another conversation.)
anyways! to the bulk of your ask. i'm gonna put this under a cut bc the answer got very long, but please to anyone reading this understand that i am expressing my opinions and experiences in good faith and respect, and would request anyone responding to me to do the same. i'm not trying to upset anyone or start arguments, i'm merely discussing a type of post that i've seen a surge in lately and the way they impact me.
in respect to my loveless community members, whom i respect and uplift even though their experience is very different from my own, i'm gonna say it's not related to the recent uptick in that identifier. i'm sure a lot of it is a miscommunication issue - that people making these posts are not intending for them to come off the way that they are, or to be as hurtful as they are to other members of their own community.
as to whether people really are making the claim that qprs and other types of nonromantic committed relationship is accepted and normalized as opposed to nonpartnering, which isn't, then yeah, i've seen that asserted repeatedly. i don't know if people saying that mean it like in general or specifically in the aro community, but if they mean just in the aro community:
they need to be way more clear in their wording because it all sounds like 'aros in qprs are just allowed to do whatever and their relationships are validated, celebrated, and unquestioned', which is just. factually untrue. amatonormative society wants people in romantic relationships (generally speaking, straight relationships, though there is amatonormativity abounds in the queer community too, so this isn't what i'm talking about here). it's not like we live in a reality of romantic and nonromantic relationships are elevated in the same way (with nonromantic relationships being seen as the Aro Alternative) and nonpartnering is othered and looked down on. it's that romantic relationships are the ideal and the goal, and Anything Else - be it partnering in a way amatonormative society finds unacceptable or nonpartnering or what have you - is othered and looked down on. this is obvious as hell in a lot of ways, but especially the couple of times the last year or so that someone's post about their committed nonromantic relationship went viral on social media (reddit, tiktok, etc) and people just could not be normal or reasonable about it.
if it did BECOME that way (that it was widely and generally accepted and supported, even as the still-derogatory 'aro version' of amatonormative society's goal) it would still not be the fault or responsibility of aromantic people in nonromantic partnerships of any kind. but this is not the case, so talking about it like it is isn't helpful to anyone.
in my eight years of experience in the aro community, qprs/nonromantic partnerships are no more generally accepted/lauded than any other way of life and doing relationships, including nonpartnering. i think there was some more potentially problematic language in older resources about types of relationships aromantic people can 'still have' and whatnot, but the language i see these days in even more 101 resources is a lot more inclusive like 'aromantic people can have xyz types of relationships and some do but some don't' type stuff. i personally in my experience see and have seen more positivity/general representation in aro posts for people who are nonpartnering, people who prefer living alone, people who choose not to 'do life' so to speak with a partner. maybe this is just because of who i've been exposed to via blogs i've followed/posts i've seen in the tags/conversations i've come across in my years in and around the community! but i have not personally seen anything concrete demonstrating what anyone could be referring to re: some kind of hierarchy within the aro community that values aros in any kind of relationship over aros that choose not to partner at all.
and honestly though there are fewer posts outright saying that it's already happening, i have much the same issues, honestly, with posts that are "people warning each other NOT to do that." re: approaching/being in qprs/otherwise labeled nonromantic committed relationships in an amatonormative way or somehow using them to perpetuate amatonormativity. warning people not to do that feels very similar to me to accusing them of doing it, but with plausible deniability. i find little meaningful difference in it, because why would you be making something up to warn people about if you don't see a clear and imminent approach of it happening?
and i just don't... see the basis for that. none of the posts i'm thinking of or was referring to contain any actual explanation of what it is that they're upset about partnering aros doing/saying other than... being partnering? while the OPs of those posts feel discriminated against or mistreated for being nonpartnering. which is a real and true thing that happens! but is not being (generally aside from i'm sure individual bad actors which exist in every community) done and perpetuated by other aro people. and even if those posts are addressed outside the community - which it is never clear to me if they are, if that's the case - the implication that i always get is that they're made out of anger or upset at the aro community/other aro people somehow.
nobody can seem to point me in the direction of actual examples of this (qprs/nonromantic relationships perpetuating amatonormativity, which in itself just. feels ridiculous to me because amatonormativity is inherently opposed to nonromantic relationships) happening. i don't see what this is based on!
all i can see is (justified!) upset and anger at arophobia that's manifested a certain way in the lives of certain people that is being displaced at other aromantic people who are also the victims of arophobia just not in the exact same way, and who are not responsible for the harm the OPs of these posts are experiencing.
and like as to the idea of being able to pretend one's nonromantic partner was just a 'regular' romantic partner in any context (marriage, living together, just. in a relationship in general), yeah that's like. erasure isn't a privilege, and personally the idea of someone mistaking a relationship like that for me as a romantic relationship is extremely upsetting to me, as i'm an incredibly intensely romance repulsed person.
i'm assuming the nonpartnering people making these posts are often venting. and maybe i'm seeing an abnormally large number of those posts because of some algorithm-related reason! but the way those venting posts are put often feels to me like justified and real anger and upset being vented in an inappropriate direction. and they're often addressed outwardly, so it's impossible to tell if they're vent posts or actual instructions/requests/chastisements to others. i just can't tell, and i'm sure the intent is not to have any of the impact that i'm discussing here. but the reality, for me and for others i've spoken to who feel similarly, is that the way these posts are being made is unhelpful, unclear, and often misdirected and just flat out not accurate.
#gav gab#aro blogging#gd i tried really hard to write this in a way that's not inflammatory or accusatory or anything#i don't want to get yelled at and im not yelling at anyone
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Could I ask what your sexuality headcanons are? I love comparing mine with other peoples’!
Ok second half of this; this is just like. non-students who i Actually have thought about HJBAFV not at all a comprehensive list. Again disclaimer i write all these chars as bi in my fics, also i am bi myself so the vast majority are also bi, and also leaving a lot of these vague so u can imagine ur favorite ship or urself or w/ever
ok lets start this off with Aizawa. I think....... hes another one who's rlly unlabelled, doesnt super care to think it through and define it, but calls himself gay bc his interest in women is very, very rare and it's just way easier to say than explain all that. Definitely do buy into the idea that he had a crush on Oboro in hs but i do NOT buy into the easermic agenda sorry. Definitely not someone who goes looking for dates, but doesn't say no if someone asks him and hes interested (also im not gonna give her a whole section but i saw a hc a while back that the Ms. Joke stuff is literally that shes a lesbian and hes gay and shes fucking with him and i love that so much i just wanted to put it out there)
on the topic of the erasermic agenda: Hizashi's pan and knew it before HS, had a sudden & intense crush on Aizawa for the first month they knew each other and then immediately got over it in favor of a similar sudden, intense, and then immediately fading crush on Midnight. Hizashi and Aizawa r just rlly good friends imo; maybe they messed around for a bit in their twenties but it never went anywhere serious. He dates around a lot, not even necessarily to settle down just to have some fun
Midnight is aro/ace but does get in qprs & gravitates towards women wrt that. Most people dont read vigilantes but theres a woman in that, Kazuho, who i imagine she's been in a long-term qpr with; her relationship with aizawa and hizashi leans a little more towards a qpr than a normal friendship, too, but it's not rlly defined that way
All Might is married to justice queer but v much not interested in relationships. He and that one guy from the first movie are ABSOLUTELY exes and i won't hear otherwise; it's the only relationship he's ever had, and they broke up bc he had to go back to japan. He was heartbroken but did eventually get over him; his lack of romance afterwards is from genuine disinterest and not being hung up on his past. I can see him finding someone else in his later years, after he's retired. Definitely feels like he's not worthy of it tho
Hawks is bi but unfortunately didn't get to figure that out until like Now in the timeline...... if youll let my dabihawks history shine through i think dabi was the reason JHBASFGJHB he was basically brainwashed by the commission to become a hero so he didnt have time to Figure That Shit Out; he knew he was into women bc that was easy & what the commission expected from him but then he started this undercover assignment and met dabi and realized Oh...... Fuck. Hawks is hard tbh, bc i think between the control that the commission has over him and his own convictions as a hero he doesn't pursue any romance (tho he does get crushes or find people attractive) and most of his flings are done to keep up his prettyboy act, not out of genuine interest in being a fuckboy. Can't imagine him having a relationship until well after canon but I do see him being interested eventually
Onto the villains, Shigaraki is unlabelled but probably would call himself queer if asked. Definitely admires women more but isn't very interested in romance; AFO actively encourages him to pursue the things interested in so imo if he were he'd talk abt it more lmfao. I kinda see him as demi as well, not the type to fall immediately but requiring a friendship beforehand; tho unlike Bakugo as i said in my last post I dont think it happens suddenly but rather slowly. Y'all know im a big fan of shigaraki being absolutely whipped for his s/o so i do thing hes a big piner, tho he's also pretty bold and unashamed of his affections. I'm a big fan of him falling for a member of the league or a civilian; definitely can't see him falling for a hero unless the hero was already halfway to turning sides already. I think he's also attracted to intelligence and someone who pushes him to think more abt his ideology...... maybe im just projecting at this point JSHDFBVAJKSHD but my point is that the gender of his partner is definitely the least of what he considers/notices
Dabi is bi and, here's my bold take, demisexual; not interested in sex unless its with someone he loves. Absolutely doesn't even think abt romance for most of the years where he's on his own. He's got revenge to plan. By the time he joins the league that hasn't changed much, and he's demi so he's not interested in sleeping around, plus he rlly denies any attachment to people at all. As I said in that other ask tho I do rlly like the idea of him with Magne, so I think they have a fling for a bit before her death :( it's one of the things that leads him to isolate himself further, unfortunately, even from Jin and the other League members with whom his relationships aren't romantic. I can see him dating someone post-canon bc i think hes gonna be redeemed lol. It could be someone he knew before but they probably didnt date again bc he was v guarded; i think magne was rlly the only person he dated
Magne is pan and heres the kicker: I think shes t4t, which led to a little moment just before she and dabi got together where he was like "she wouldnt be into me :/" but she was into him anyway so all was good. She got around in her circles, mostly casual stuff tho she yearned for something more serious.
Spinner's bi & trends towards women but does occasionally get things for men and they're almost always intense. He thought he was straight for a while even once he joined the league and then suddenly got a crush on Shigaraki (around the time of MVA) and realized otherwise LMFAO he's definitely a hopeless romantic type, the whole mutant prejudice thing makes it rlly hard for him and i can see him being rlly happy with another mutant-type; i feel like as he matures he starts to gravitate towards them
Toga is canonically pan to my understanding, iirc her interest in Uraraka and Deku is the same (and romantic) in canon tho i might be wrong. Poor girl just needs therapy. I like the idea of the two of them becoming her friends over her being involved with them but i totally can get behind her having a thing with Uraraka (and maybe Tsu) at some point post-canon (presuming she gets redeemed), tho I think a qpr between the two/three of them would be longer lasting. And again presuming she gets therapy i can see her settling down with someone, gender irrelevant
Jin is unlabelled bc he hasn't much thought abt it, definitely had a thing for dabi and for hawks which does make me sad on both counts. I think he likes women slightly more abstractly/aesthetically and gets crushes more on men,. The dabi thing fades as they get closer and start to view each other as brothers. In his later years he doesn't rlly care about romance, I think he enjoys the experience of crushing but doesnt like dating people; his found family in the League is far more important to him. But i can see him falling head-over-heels for someone quite suddenly and having a bit of a whirlwind romance. Also someone for whom gender isn't much of a factor
Mr Compress is also queer and also hasn't rlly thought abt it. Definitely leans more towards women; he's like 30 but i like to think he also goes for older partners, 10 or 15 years his senior KJBADSJFHB idk he just has that Vibe with the way he calls himself an old man etc. A lot of the league i cant see sleeping or dating around much, i feel like they prioritize each other, but I do think mr compress gets around more than the others. i can see him having a bit of a fuckbuddy who he catches feelings for
Kurogiri is fun; as Oboro I do think Aizawa's crush was reciprocated, tho he wasn't around long enough for them to act on it :( he's bi, tho kurogiri isn't supposed to have personal interests. I like to imagine the brainwashing isnt as good as AFO wants it to be tho so I like the idea of him falling for someone anyway. I also like the idea of the heroes managing to undo the nomufication and I 100% can see him, aizawa, and someone else (someone he was involved with as Kurogiri) ending up in a triad as a result of aizawa and the third partner helping him through the aftermath of all that shit
Lady Nagant is a manga-only minor character but im in love with her so imma talk abt it. Shes bi and leans VERY heavily towards women, probably spent years questioning whether she was rlly bi or a lesbian before finally having a fling with a guy that she genuinely enjoyed. Has only ever been in long-term relationships with women and I v much think she has a gf at home who stayed even when she was arrested 🥺
Finally imma talk abt Natsuo bc i love that boy. He's one of the few unmarried chars with a love interest and he canonically has a gf. I do see him as IDing straight in canon ngl, but the kind of straight where he might actually be bi but his preference leans so heavily towards women and he grew up in a bad home so he just doesnt rlly think abt it bc hes v happy with women anyway. In shiganatsu thoughts shigaraki is the first man he has a thing for; i rlly can see the two of them in a triad with a woman specifically, who helps the two of them find each other and is the one who initiates bc its definitely a weird situation for natsuo
#ask.🌧#anon#pattering on the roof#char.🌧 multi#again these r just the ones ive thought about so sorry if i didnt bother with any chars u care abt ajkhsfbgsjdhfb#thank yall for asking LMFAO any excuse to ramble abt this shit#it does impact the way i write these chars#obviously#bc this is meta more than anything else and so is fanfic lol
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about a week ago my friend (A) told me that they started dating one of my other friends (B), and i was like "oh, cool". but this week i got news that they're not dating anymore because friend B was questioning being aro. even cooler!! then i said, "you could still be in a qpr, though". and i only just realised, why did i feel compelled to say that?
i don't remember my intention or thoughts when i said that (i don't remember thinking at all, really), but now i'm starting to wonder. was it that i was trying to comfort friend A? they weren't saying anything about being upset sbout it; if they were, i didn't notice. i'm leaning towards the idea that i was trying to "redeem" friend B.
obviously friend B doesn't need to be redeemed, because there's nothing wrong with being aro. however, i think my thought process at the time, "at least you can still have the intimate relationship you want" as if a qpr is some kind of surrogate for a romantic relationship, which it of course isn't. it was like my first instinct was to justify the fact that friend B might be aro, by saying that they might still want an intimate relationship and are therefore still a person of value to friend A.
it's an awful thought, and i feel somewhat guilty for having it. yet, i think it can also be used as a testament to how ingrained amatonormativity is in each of us, so much so that a person confident in their aro identity finds themself subject to its influence. it's even more surprising when you consider that i am non-partnering and generally uncomfortable when confronted with romance irl. even someone who doesn't care much for having intimate relationships or being around them felt the need to 'excuse' the possibility that someone might not want a relationship. that's how deep it's carved into our brains, so to speak.
unlearning things, from societal expectations to personal things like unhealthy habits, is an active process that must be worked on. IDing as aro doesn't magically make you aware of and immune to amatonormativity.
anyone can comment, just try not to derail.
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I don't know all the words and I'm still figuring out this side of myself so excuse me if I mess up or say something wrong but I have a question.
I'm aro, I think. In some sense. I do not like people romantically. I feel upset when people imply that I have a crush on someone. (Be it a friend or even just a celebrity). I don't even like the idea of someone looking at me and thinking that I am romantically interested or whatever.
But I want that kind of connection. I feel as though I could get married one day and be happy. I enjoy the concept of 'romance' in the simplest terms. I want someone to just be there and hold me and kiss me and be by my side forever.
And if I really think about it there was only one time I ever met someone that I thought that I could date him. But not date. You know? He was a friend and I still knowing that looking back and thinking on it, I don't wouldn't have wanted to date him but if he asked I probably have said yes because he was like my second best friend. In fact I used to find out people had crushes on me and I would just be like "Oh wow. Cool?" And then I would just STAY friends with them even though I knew how they felt because even though I didn't dislike them or how they looked I couldn't bring myself to feel that way.
But like, what I was wanting to ask is about there being a chance that my need/want to gat married might be because of how I was raised? Because I enjoy the idea of it. I enjoy romance when it does not involve myself. And when I was really really little I used to do that thing where you plan your wedding. So I don't know if maybe I just convinced myself I wanted it before I even knew who I'd want to marry if I did get married, you know?
Because honestly I'm pretty sure while writing this I realized I just kinda want a best friend who will be a bit more cuddly with me. So I just wanted to ask and see what your opinion on that may be
hi! sorry this has taken a bit to get to.
overall, I'd suggest that you read into amatonormativity - which, in brief is defined as "the assumption that a central, exclusive, romantic relationship is normal for humans, and is a universally shared goal." - a linked 101 article here.
additionally, you may find it useful to consider if you'd like a queerplatonic relationship, or QPR. these are... hard to describe in brief, so I really would recommend talking to folks who are in QPRs. I'm not personally interested in them. The not-so-brief definition is as follows:
A committed non-romantic relationship that goes beyond what is the subjective cultural norm for a friendship. Levels of intimacy and/or behaviors between the partners involved often don’t fit the conventional standards set by society. Some QPRs can include sex and elements that are generally considered romantic. In practice every queerplatonic relationship is different. Abbreviated to QPR, and queerplatonic (quasiplatonic) partner to QPP. Another common word for QPP used to be zucchini.
All that said - whether or not you think you'd like a QPR, and how much you feel like amatonormativity plays into how you're feeling, I'd say it really sounds like you're aromantic. If you'd like to claim this label - welcome to the community!
I answer more questions from questioning aromantic folks with my tag "am i aro", attached to this post. Feel free to check that out for more responses!
- mod kee
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Pointless Pining (makes for the best love stories)
Ao3
Summary: Sure, Roman could tell aur squishes that au was in love with them. There was even a fairly good chance they’d return the sentiment! But there was also a chance (however small) that they would say no, and well... Roman didn’t want to take that risk.
Content: Mutual pining, oblivious pining so oblivious it’s ridiculous (but true!), swearing, referencing making out, running away from family events to avoid said family, confessions, kissing (not on the lips); everyone’s non-binary except andy who’s male (cis or trans, reader’s choice), aro!roman, implied aro!logan + aro!remy
Pairings: QPR rolosleep, romo anxton (ts shorts anxiety [Andy] x Patton)
Notes: For easy reference, Roman’s pronoun set is au/aur/aurs/aurself (based off of the periodic table element name for gold, not the term for alternate universes), Logan’s is ja/java/jav/javs/javaself (based off the coding language, not coffee), and Patton’s is dai/dais/daiself
Also! this fic is dedicated to my wonderful qpps, @lo-gayn and @bitchy-sleep ! i adore them with all my heart, even if I wasn’t very helpful with the getting-together part of our relationship. this one’s for you, loves <3
~
Roman had an amazing, spectacular, flawless plan.
“This is a horrible idea, dude.”
Some people just refused to understand aur brilliance.
“You know, this is why I don’t talk to you.” Roman said matter-of-factly, ignoring Andy rolling his eyes as au compared two dresses in aur mirror. “Now just tell me which red goes better with my eyes.”
“How would I know? Unlike some people, I don’t spend all day looking into them.” Andy huffed, reclined out on Roman’s bed. “I don’t even know why you’re asking me for help with your clearly doomed plan.”
“I’m asking you because it’s you or Patton, and dai’ll just ignore my dress question and focus on the reason for the dress instead, and you know what dai will say then.”
“To get over yourself and stop ending up in fanfic-esque situations with your squishes because you’re a hopeless pining mess who refuses to open your eyes to the reality that they want to be your partners as much as you want to be theirs?”
Roman turned from the mirror, frowning at Andy. “Well dai wouldn’t say it so rudely.”
Andy just shrugged. “It’s the truth. The sooner you accept it, the sooner I can stop dealing with this bullshit.”
A gasp of faux offense sounded in the doorway, and Roman groaned at the same time Andy perked up, pushing himself into a better sitting position.
“Language!” Patton scolded, though dais words had no heat to them as dai smiled and joined Andy on the bed. Well, joined Andy on his lap, a move that the punk didn’t argue, even as his cheeks turned a rather vibrant shade of red.
“Sorry, Pat.” Andy mumbled as Patton innocently wrapped dais arms around the back of his neck and leaned against his chest. Roman rolled aur eyes. Andy could act as intimidating and tough as he wanted, but as soon as Patton was within eyesight, he melted.
“It’s no problem, an-dorable.” Patton said. Andy just blushed harder and Roman sniggered, amused. That was the wrong thing to do, however, as it drew Patton’s attention onto aur and aur dresses. “Oh, those are some nice outfits, Ro. What’s the special occasion?”
“None! Nothing!” Roman said hastily, quickly moving over to aur closet and tossing the two options back in haphazardly. Two weeks au had kept this a secret, and au refused to be found out now. “Just… showing off some of my wardrobe to Andy.”
Roman didn’t need to be facing Patton to know dai didn’t believe that, and au could practically hear the frown in dais tone as dai responded, “Are you sure? Those are some of your favorite dresses, you don’t normally take them out without a reason.”
“And I had a reason! Showing them off to Andy!” Roman defended, looking at Andy slightly desperately. “Right, Andy?”
Instead of providing Roman with the save au needed, however, Andy glanced at Patton before shaking his head. “Au’s got a date.”
Patton’s eyes lit up at the actual answer, distracted enough by it to not notice the rather violent motion Roman made at Andy. Andy seemed unconcerned and unthreatened, only smirking rather self-satisfiedly at the gesture.
“You finally asked them out?” Patton said excitedly, continuing on before Roman could continue, “This is great, Roro! You should definitely go with the scarlet dress, then- it’s just perfect for a first date-”
“It’s not a date!” Roman interrupted, stopping Patton’s words immediately.
Dai blinked twice, looking confused. “But Andy said it was.”
“Sometimes Andy lies.” Roman muttered.
“Not this time.” Andy spoke up, ignoring Roman’s glare. “I don’t care what you want to call it, dude, but it’s very clearly a date.”
“Those were some pretty nice dresses you were considering Roman.” Patton added. “Not really what you’d wear out casually.”
Roman sighed and glanced back at the dresses au had crammed back into aur closet. “Then maybe I’m just being too dramatic in my choice in attire.” Au mumbled to aurself, trying not to feel too disheartened. Au did like wearing those dresses, and any excuse to do so was one au’d always jump at. It’s not like au wanted Logan and Remy to see aur wearing one of them. Not in particular, anyways. That would be silly and blackmail material, and despite aur sibling’s sweet exterior dai was more than willing to work with blackmail.
Shaking aur head to focus back on the issue at hand, Roman once more faced Andy and Patton. “One of Logan’s relatives is having a birthday dinner, and Logan invited me and Remy to come and stop java from being forced to only interact with jav family for two hours. It’s not a date, just friends helping friends.”
“Ja literally invited both of you to dinner at a fancy restaurant for the express purpose of spending the night talking and dining with you two.” Andy said, repeating the same thing he had said only a few minutes ago, albeit then with more swearing. “It’s a date.”
“I have to agree with Andy here, Ro.” Patton said, once more smiling excitedly.
“You always agree with Andy.”
Patton waved dais hand dismissively. “You were clearly picking out date clothes to go out to dinner with your squishes. It’s a date.”
Roman sighed, moving over to aur desk. Au almost slumped into the chair before deciding the queer choice was to hop on top of the desk and sit there. “Just because it meets the criteria of a date doesn’t make it one.”
“If it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck-”
“-then maybe you’re just shit at identifying waterfowl.” Roman cut Andy off, ignoring Patton’s reprimand of ‘language!’. “Besides, dates are for people in love with each other. One-sided pining doesn’t count.”
At that statement, Roman was met with twin stares of disbelief.
“Really, Roman, I thought you would’ve gotten over this by now.” Patton said after a moment, tone lightly scolding.
“My pining…?”
“Your belief that it’s one-sided.” Patton corrected. “It’s very obvious, I’m not sure how you’re still missing it.”
“Just because you guys think it’s obvious-”
“Logan has literally told you ja’d be open to being in a QPR with you.” Andy cut aur off, disbelief now mixing with frustration. “How much more obvious do you need?”
Roman looked away, focusing on a wall. “It was late when ja said that, I’m sure ja didn’t mean it.”
Andy scoffed. “It was four in the afternoon.”
“That’s… kinda late.” Roman said, well aware aur tone wasn’t quite as confident as it needed to convince Patton and Andy to drop the matter. “And that’s just Logan, nothing about Remy.”
“He is literally always flirting with you.”
“Remy flirts with everyone.”
Patton shook dais head. “Remy only really flirts with two people, Ro, and she’s made out with one of them plenty of times.”
“Logan and Remy’s snogging is purely platonic.” Roman dismissed, wrinkling aur nose even as au said ‘snogging.’ Au wasn’t a fan of the word, but au preferred it to some of the other more creative terms au could’ve gone for.
Au left out the part where au was fairly certain it wasn’t purely platonic. There was only so long you could try and live in someone’s lap before one emotion or the other got wrapped into the mix, in Roman’s opinion.
“You’re really just going to ignore all of the evidence they like you back.” Andy said slowly, as if hoping that Roman would correct him.
But all Roman did was smile at him and cheerfully say, “Yep!”
Andy tossed his hands up into the air, flopping backwards on the bed, Patton giggling as dai fell over with him. “I give up. You’re impossible and refuse to listen to any and all logic.
“I listen to Logan!” Roman defended in amusement. “Ja’s the only one I know with a fully functioning braincell, after all.”
“And yet, you refuse to listen to Logan when ja says ja wants to be your partner.”
“Technically, ja just said ja’d be alright with the idea of it, not that ja wanted things to be that way.” Roman corrected, slipping off aur desk and moving towards aur dresser. “There’s a difference.”
“You know, you don’t have to have Logan confess to you first.” Patton pointed out, snuggling dais head against Andy’s shoulder. “Sometimes you just have to read the signs and make your move!”
Roman chuckled. “Patton, you asked Andy out within a day of knowing him. Your advice hardly applies here.”
Patton pouted. “I think it applies here!”
“You’re just refusing to read the signs, Roman.” Andy added, wrapping a hand around Patton’s back and kissing dais forehead. “It worked out pretty fucking well for Patton, after all.”
Roman didn’t respond immediately, waiting for Patton’s ‘language!’ exclamation, only to find it not coming, Patton much more distracted by curling against Andy’s chest. Roman smiled a bit at that. “Well, I am Jared, 19.”
“You’re embarrassing yourself, that’s what you are.” Andy replied. Roman bit back a ‘when do I not’ and focused on shifting through the clothes in aur dresser. Only a moment passed before Andy asked, “What’re you doing?”
“Picking my outfit for tonight.” Roman answered, pulling out a pair of aur black jeans, one of the pairs that hadn’t faded to grey yet. Au dropped it on top of aur dresser and moved on to finding a shirt.
Shuffling on the bed indicated to Roman that Andy and Patton must have sat up, likely to try and see what clothing pieces au was choosing. They didn’t say anything, however, until Roman pulled out two shirts and turned back towards them, displaying aur choices. “Which one do you think goes better with my eyes?”
Patton frowned. “From fancy dresses to jeans and t-shirts? That’s a pretty steep de-escalation, Ro.”
Roman shrugged. “Well, if you guys thought the fancy dresses were for a special date, I don’t want Logan and Remy to feel I’ve made any false assumptions as to our relationship and the purpose of tonight’s outing.” Au said, smirking at the look of shock and annoyance on Patton’s and Andy’s faces, respectively. “So. Which one goes better with my eyes?”
“You’re a moron.” Andy told aur before nodding his head at the shirt in Roman’s left hand. “That one.”
“Thank you!” Roman responded, turning back towards aur dresser and dropping the one Andy had indicated back into the drawer, putting the white tank top covered in sparkly golden dots of varying sizes with the jeans.
Andy groaned. “You know this is a date, no matter how hard you try to sabotage it, right?”
“Nope!” Roman replied, scooping up aur choice in outfit and snagging aur red hoodie off the floor before heading towards the hallway. “I’m going to get changed. If you two are still here when I get back, I’m going to raid Patton’s stash of hidden cookies and give them to Logan’s family.”
Patton squinted at aur. “You don’t know where my stash of cookies is. They’re hidden.”
Roman chuckled as au stepped out of the room, heading towards the bathroom. “If you say so, Pat.” Au called over aur shoulder, confident in aur belief that Andy and Patton would be gone before au had even changed aur shirt.
After all, there was only so much needling Roman could take, especially when it was in relation to aur squishes. Aur squishes who didn’t like aur back, Patton and Andy’s opinions aside and ignored. Roman might be aro, but au was still the expert on love, and au knew in-love people when au saw them. Logan and Remy loved Roman as a friend, and that was it.
And if Roman was wrong, well… it wasn’t like au was ever going to confess anyways.
~
Roman arrived at the Sanders household ten minutes early, having walked from aur house with the intent to hitch a ride with the family to the dinner. The driveway had a couple more cars in it than usual, and the out-of-state license plates some of them had confirmed Roman’s suspicions they were Logan’s visiting relatives’ vehicles.
Au didn’t bother with the door, cutting across the yard to the side of the house and slipping down and through the low-set basement window that had been left open for this exact purpose. Though the window was more commonly used as a way to escape the house, Roman and Remy often helping to pull Logan out so that they could go star-gazing when they all should’ve been sleeping, it served the purpose of avoiding strangers and prying questions equally well.
Roman landed well, rocking on aur feet slightly to keep aur balance as au glanced around, looking for aur friends. The basement was a small affair, with one side taken up with Logan’s bed, dresser and desk, and the other with a bathroom and an old washing machine that no longer washed clothes but did occasionally hold the elements of Logan’s various experiments. That made it easy to spot Logan, who was sitting on jav bed and reading, so absorbed in jav book that ja didn’t notice Roman’s entrance.
This gave Roman the perfect opportunity to be gay without java noticing.
Because Logan, of course, had already changed for the dinner; jav regular nerdy t-shirt and jeans had been replaced with a simple, knee-length dark blue dress, the top half layered with white lace that outlined constellations across Logan’s chest. Jav hair was held in a loose ponytail by a silver ribbon, and matching star clips held back jav bangs. Ja looked gorgeous, and in that moment Roman wanted nothing more than to kiss jav forehead.
But then Logan looked up from jav book and the moment was over.
Ja spotted Roman quickly, offering aur a smile as ja slipped jav bookmark into place and put jav book to the side. “Hello, Roman!”
Roman smiled back, trying to push aur thoughts away. “Heya, specs. How you doing?”
“I’m alright.” Logan answered. “My relatives still remember the elephant toothpaste incident from last year, so they’re wary of coming down here and bothering me.”
Roman chuckled at the memory of said incident. Despite requesting that ja be allowed to spend jav birthday as ja wanted, Logan’s parents had called jav relatives down for the day and planned a party around them being there. So Logan threw some water, soap, yeast, and hydrogen peroxide into a box and set the concoction up to make a mess of the stairs leading to jav room as soon as someone opened the door.
Ja had escaped out the window after that, where Roman and Remy had been waiting for java to join them. The three of them had spent the day wandering the town, avoiding Logan’s searching family and doing whatever caught their attention. They had ended the day with the greasiest food from the cheapest fast-food joint they could find, eating it on top of the long-closed arcade and admiring the view of their town at dusk.
Logan had been grounded for two weeks afterwards, but ja always held that it was worth it for what had been the best birthday of jav life.
Roman was pulled out of aur recollections by the sound of a door opening. Looking up, however, Roman realized it wasn’t the door to the basement, but instead the bathroom door.
A second later and Remy emerged, dressed almost opposingly to Logan’s style and yet still looking just as stunning. Like Roman, he was wearing jeans, but hers were torn up and well-worn. He was also wearing a black crop top, a fishnet shirt doing a poor job of covering up the rest of her upper body, not that Remy seemed to care. His jacket was slung over her back, his sunglasses were resting in her messy brown-and-pink hair, and his easy confidence in her look were only adding to the rising blush Roman was trying to fight off.
“Finally decided to join us, babes?” Remy teased, seemingly oblivious to Roman’s gay panic.
Roman cleared aur throat and tried to be oblivious to it too. “Excuse you, I’m ten minutes early.”
“Yeah, but I’ve already been here for hours.” Remy complained, dropping down next to Logan on the bed dramatically. “And I’ve only had one cutie to gaze at the entire time! Not that ja isn’t certainly a very gorgeous cutie-”
“Remy’s been helping me ensure no one tries to bother me before I’m stuck at a table with them.” Logan explained, cutting Remy off and ignoring his pout. “She’s been here since my first relative showed up around one.”
“Over four hours of just you two chilling down here?” Roman confirmed, smirking as au did so. “Wonder how you spent that time.”
Logan frowned at Roman in disappointment. “I mostly spent it reading and ignoring the annoyance.”
“Mostly?” Roman repeated, smirk growing at the light blush that entered Logan’s cheeks.
“Well I couldn’t exactly be reading for every single second of those hours-”
“What Lolo means is that I’m not as annoying as ja pretends I am.” Remy cut in, throwing an arm over Logan’s shoulders and leaning against java. “And that I have very nice lips.”
Logan’s blush turned a deeper red as ja swatted at Remy, pushing her off of java. “You are as annoying as I say you are, and you’re a bitch.”
“But you still kissed meeeeee.”
“I will shove you.”
“Ah, come on, you know you love me-”
Roman didn’t bother trying to stifle aur laugh as Logan made good on jav claim.
Remy, for his part, didn’t seem put out, only looking up at Logan from her new position on the floor, slowly shaking his head as she said, “Cold, Lo, cold.”
“I do run a temperature lower than the average human, though I do not see how that could be relevant here.”
Remy pushed himself up, climbing back onto the bed and immediately slotting herself against Logan’s side, resting his head on jav shoulder and wrapping her arms around jav waist. “Because if you don’t have me warming you up, you could freeze! So you really can’t keep shoving me off of you.”
“That’s illogical.” Logan pointed out with a roll of jav eyes, but ja made no move to get Remy off of java.
Roman tried to find the best, least awkward way to stand, considering au was near the middle of the room and the only other people in it were cuddling. A small part of aur considered joining them on the bed, maybe even leaning against Logan aurself and joining the cuddles, but the possibility of it being weird or disruptive to the nice little thing Logan and Remy already had was too high to risk, so au remained rocking on aur heels, glancing at aur watch and wondering how close they were to go time.
The door at the top of the stairs opening and Logan’s mother yelling down about how they were about to leave and Logan needed to get upstairs answered Roman’s question for aur.
“Remy, please let go of me.”
Remy made an unhappy humming noise and didn’t move.
Logan sighed. “I can’t get up if you don’t let go of me.”
“Then don’t get up.” Remy murmured back, clearly content to skip out on the dinner and spend the evening with just Logan instead. It was a sentiment Roman seconded, if only in aur mind.
“I don’t want to be grounded again.” Logan replied.
Remy sighed, sounding greatly annoyed, but he finally did as Logan asked, letting java go and standing up. “Can I at least hold your hand?”
Logan stood up after her, only taking a second to think before ja nodded and offered Remy one of jav hands. Remy smiled brightly, taking the proffered hand and nearly pulling Logan towards the door.
He was stopped by Logan’s refusal to move too far, turning back towards Roman instead and holding out jav other hand.
“Coming?” Logan said simply, and after a moment that stretched longer than it probably should have, Roman nodded, hesitantly taking Logan’s hand. Logan’s fingers wrapped tightly around aur own, the gesture warm and sweet, even if Roman only had a moment to appreciate it before Remy was once more tugging on Logan, now dragging both java and Roman along with her up the stairs.
Roman allowed aurself to be pulled along, using that time to try and decide if au should ignore the warmth blooming in aur chest or savor it.
~
Dinner went just about exactly how Roman had expected it to go. Logan’s relatives tried to talk to java, aur and Remy deflected their questions away, the relatives asked them questions instead, Logan helped deflect those, jav relatives moved back to trying to question java, the cycle went on until they were halfway through dessert. Roman was just thankful most of the relatives allowed themselves to be deterred from their interrogation-style inquiries.
There were some positives as well. The three of them had secured one of the table’s corners, Logan seated between Remy and Roman to further block javaself off from jav family. In that arrangement, it was easy for them to duck over and talk to each other, keeping their conversation separate from the rest of the table’s.
And that was how they had spent most of the dinner, talking amongst themselves, trying to muffle their laughs as Logan made particularly scathing remarks about jav more despised relatives and they discussed where they’d all prefer to be. When their food arrived, they traded bites of their meals with each other, using the opportunity to mock each other’s taste with grins on their faces. That particular activity got some of Logan’s relatives looking at them funny, but Roman just shrugged it off as none of them knowing what having genuine fun with one’s friends looked like.
It was at the end of dinner, when Logan’s family was waiting on the bill and discussing what to do with the rest of the evening, when Logan excused javaself to go to the bathroom. Ja patted Roman’s and Remy’s shoulders as ja stood, clearly wanting to make sure they didn’t forget the plan.
Roman knew au certainly hadn’t, and a glance at Remy’s smirk proved she hadn’t either.
A couple of minutes after Logan’s departure from the table, Roman feigned interest in aur phone, acting as though au had gotten a text. Au then stood up, thanking the collective Sanders for inviting aur to dinner and explaining that aur ride was there and it was time for aur to head home. Au brushed off their confusion at thinking they were the ones taking aur home easily, and slipped away from the table before they could figure out something was amiss.
Au smiled when au found Logan in the lobby, looking only slightly worried over the idea that one of jav relatives might catch java trying to get out of any more family interaction time. Ja smiled when ja saw Roman, however. “Took you long enough.”
“I believe it was you who said if I left too soon after you they’d be suspicious.” Roman replied, matching jav smile. “Why, miss me?”
“Always.” Logan said almost immediately, and Roman fought off a blush at the single word. Au and Logan were close friends, and had been like that for a while. Cheesy lines like that were relatively common between the two of them; it didn’t mean anything else.
Roman cleared aur throat. “Do you want to step outside? Remy might take a bit, depending on whether or not he decides to make a scene, and I don’t want to be too close if that happens, do you?”
Logan chuckled. “Certainly not.” Ja replied, moving towards the double doors of the restaurant and holding one of them open for Roman.
Stepping outside, Roman took in a deep breath of the cool evening air, preferring it to the overwhelming smell of various foods that had wafted throughout the entire restaurant. Logan came to stand beside aur only a second later, and Roman directed them both to the side of the restaurant, where they could wait discreetly for Remy to join them.
“So,” Roman started, not wanting to spend the entire time waiting in silence, “scale of one to ten, how has your evening been so far?”
Logan considered the question for a moment before responding, “An eight, I’d say.”
Roman’s eyes widened a bit. “That’s pretty high, all things considered.”
Logan shrugged. “Being around my relatives is always an atrocious affair, but having you and Remy around helped a lot. It was much more manageable with you two.” Logan glanced at Roman for a moment, expression unreadable, before focusing jav gaze back out on the parking lot in front of them. “I always enjoy being around you.”
“We’re around each other a lot.” Roman pointed out quietly. Au wasn’t sure what point au was trying to prove, but au wasn’t quite sure what point Logan was going for either.
“I suppose so.” Logan murmured, though it sounded more like a filler phrase than anything else. Silence stretched between them after that, and Roman didn’t feel like au should break it.
It was eventually broken for aur by Remy sprinting out of the restaurant, spinning on his heel as she got outside, stopping when he saw Logan and Roman.
“Hey, darlings! We gotta go!” She called out, grabbing their attention as he gestured for them to come join her. “Unless you want this whole plan to go down the drain, anyways!”
“I knew he should’ve snuck out before me.” Logan said, shaking jav head even as ja smiled and started to run after Remy, Roman right behind java.
Remy didn’t start moving again until Logan and Roman were close, close enough that he could grab their hands. As soon as she had them, he took off again, weaving between the cars fast enough to hopefully throw off anyone who might be at the restaurant entrance now, trying to spot them.
Soon enough they were out of the restaurant’s parking lot and on the sidewalk, racing down it as fast as they could. Remy still held their hands, her grip tight and warm, while he constantly checked around them, looking for something or another. Suddenly, she skidded to a stop in front of an alleyway.
“You guys want to see something awesome?” Remy asked, glancing between the two of them as he asked.
Roman fought off the urge to respond ‘I already do’ as au looked at Remy, flushed from the running but grinning as well, looking a wild sort of beautiful. “I’d love to.”
“I certainly don’t have a better way to spend my time.” Logan said.
Remy’s grin only grew. “Great.” She said, right before starting to run again, pulling them into the alleyway. They allowed themselves to be led as he ducked between different alleys and slipped between spaces Roman felt they weren’t meant to slip through, only letting go of Remy’s hands when she released them, coming to a stop in a small, unusual clearing.
The spot Remy had finally stopped on was a ledge of cracked and jagged concrete, the broken concrete spreading out in a circle to fill the small area they were in, most of the space around them walled off by buildings built right next to each other and rusty chain link fences. Crumbling dirt sloped down against the concrete, making a small crater within the border of damaged rock.
In the center of it all was a pond. It wasn’t very large, the crater itself only being three or four yards wide across, but it was well-sized. The surface of the water was pretty with the sunset colours playing across it, but it was clear enough for the group to see down into it. The dirt in the pool was awkwardly packed, leaving it deep in some spots and shallow in others, but amongst the layers Roman could just make out little creatures swimming about.
“I stumbled into this place a couple of days ago when I was bored and wandering.” Remy explained while Roman and Logan leaned closer to the pond, both interested in the animals moving within it. “I think there was some construction mishap that made the crater, and they were too lazy to do anything to fix it, so they left it as was. Over time, it collected rainwater, and-”
“Are these tadpoles?” Logan interrupted, looking up from the pond to meet Remy’s eyes instead.
A broad smile broke across Remy’s face. “Far as I can tell, yep. Saw a few fully grown lads hopping around yesterday, too, though I don’t know if we’ll see them today.”
Logan smiled at that, jav grin somehow bigger than Remy’s as ja quickly turned back towards the pond, leaning even closer to look down at the tadpoles. “Wonderful.” Ja said, under jav breath, looking completely absorbed by the animals.
Roman forced aurself to stop admiring Logan and go back to watching the tadpoles before au was caught, but in aur opinion, the former view was much more incredible than the latter- and the tadpoles were pretty incredible.
“Tonight just gets better and better, huh?” Roman said, the comment technically directed towards both Logan and Remy, but given that Remy seemed to have become distracted with one of the fences, only Logan really heard it.
“Indeed.” Logan agreed, glancing away from the pond to look at Roman. Ja was still smiling brightly, jav entire face lit up and expression excited and happy. Roman couldn’t help but smile back, though aurs was softer, a product of Logan’s excitement, not aur own.
“You look lovely.” Roman said, out of the blue, not entirely sure why au had spoken. It was true, yes, but Roman tried to mostly internalize those thoughts. “Your, uh, your dress, I mean. It’s very lovely- you wear it very… lovelily.”
Logan laughed softly, a beautiful sound that Roman was absolutely in love with (almost as much as au was in love with Logan). “Thank you.” Ja finally said, with a small smile that seemed even more meaningful than the grin ja had been wearing a moment ago. “You wear your outfit very nicely as well.”
If Roman hadn’t been blushing earlier, au certainly was now. “Thanks.” Au mumbled, glancing back out at the pond to avoid Logan’s gaze. Au had the distinct feeling that if au looked too long au might say things they would both inevitably regret.
“My entire family thinks we’re together, you know.” Logan commented idely, ignoring the way Roman jerked at jav words. “Or me and Remy are together. Or you and Remy are together and I’m just third-wheeling. They’re too uptight to accept polyamory’s existence or it being valid, but if I did I think they’d assume we’re all together.”
Roman forced a laugh. “Amatonormativity’s wild.”
“It is.” Logan said, but it was offhanded. “Though I admit, all their conversing on the subject around, and sometimes to, me has… confused me a bit.”
“Holy shit, Lo, don’t tell me you think you’re allo.”
“Wha- no, no Roman, I’m still aromantic.”
“Oh.” Roman said lamely before frowning. Au was looking at Logan now, but jav expression was once more unreadable to aur. “Then what’s up?”
Logan laughed nervously, taking jav turn as the one awkwardly watching the pond instead of the other. “Do you recall, a few months ago, when I told you I would be amicable to the idea of us entering into a queerplatonic relationship?”
“Would I forget?”
“You have the figurative memory of a goldfish so, yes, you would.”
Roman chuckled. “Alright, you got me there. But, yes, Lo, I remember.” Au answered directly, hoping au just imagined the shake in aur voice.
“When I told you that, it was because I felt I was- so to speak- in possession of equal platonic and queerplatonic feelings towards you. I did not mind being your friend, nor would I have minded being your partner, because both made me perfectly happy.”
Roman hummed when Logan paused, trying to show au was paying attention without risking something as embarrassing as a voice break.
“Now, I feel as though I still hold equal platonic and queerplatonic feelings towards you. But I’m… uncertain as to which I should be having. I have always been content with considering us to simply be friends, but the words of my family have forced me to take a closer look at what our relationship is, and I feel as if I must reconsider that view.”
“I’m… not sure I completely follow, Lo.” Roman said hesitantly, trying to crush the unsteady flutter of hope in aur chest. Logan was talking about confusion, not making a confession.
Logan took a deep breath before ja turned from the pond to look directly at Roman. “I believe if our relationship continues as it has, sooner rather than later, I will no longer fully feel content to be your friend alone, and instead wish to also be your… your partner.” Jav gaze dropped down to the ground between the two of them. “That is, if that has not happened already.”
Oh. So it was a confession.
Roman didn’t say anything, feeling speechless and breathless all at once. Logan took the unmoving stare and lack of response poorly. “I apologize if you do not feel the same, I truly do not completely expect you too, I do not want to hurt our friendship with my assumptions-”
“No! Logan, no, I-” Roman paused to take a breath, trying not to focus on Logan’s wide-eyes from aur sudden yell. “Oh, gosh, you’re going to hate me.”
“I find that doubtful.” Logan replied evenly, now tilting jav head on its side in curious bewilderment. “Why do you think I would hate you?”
Roman ran a hand through aur hair, looking away from Logan as au did but turning back towards java when au spoke. “Your feelings are completely requited.”
Logan’s eyes widened again, this time in surprise. “You mean-”
“-And they have been for several months.” Roman added, interrupting Logan.
“Since I told you I would be alright being in a QPR with you?”
“Since, uh, since a couple of weeks before that.”
“Oh. Oh!” Logan said, moving from processing to what Roman could only describe as delight. Ja was smiling again, almost giddily, pressing one hand over jav mouth to try and stifle jav laughter.
“Well, now, that’s just rude.” Roman teased lightly, feeling rather giddy aurself. They had both just admitted they wanted to be the other’s partner, after all, so surely that meant-
“I assure you, I’m not laughing at you, just-” Logan laughed again despite jav words, and when ja leaned forward Roman realized ja had scooted closer to aur, jav forehead landing against Roman’s shoulder as ja laughed in a way that suggested less humor and more joy. Roman’s heart soared. “You’re very cute, Roman.”
Roman grinned like that was the best thing au had ever heard even as aur cheeks flushed crimson. “You’re cuter, angel.”
“Ah, petnames.” Logan said, tone warm and content and happy. “Love, dear, darling…”
“Your love, your dear, your darling.” Roman corrected softly, feeling bold. It immediately paid off as Logan tried to press jav face further into Roman’s shoulder, trying to hide the blush Roman knew was covering jav face. “My cutie.”
“Your cutie.” Logan echoed, sounding lovestruck even in just those two words.
Roman pressed a kiss to the top of Logan’s head, smiling growing as Logan giggled. “My cutie, my angel, my beloved, my Logan.”
Logan only giggled more, and Roman beamed, entranced by the sound and more than willing to listen to it for the rest of aur life. “My Roman.” Logan managed to say between jav giggles, oblivious to the bright red flush that had taken over Roman’s face. Au pressed aur head against the top of Logan’s, not necessarily to hide aur blush so much as to be even closer to Logan.
“Please tell me this is what it looks like, because babes, if I have to go one more day watching your sorry asses pine over each other like you’re the only people in the world I’m going to lose it.”
At the sound of Remy’s voice, Roman turned aur head to face her, refusing to remove aur head from on top of Logan’s. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Rem, we’re just two bros pressed up against each other like bros do.”
“Ha ha.” Remy dropped down beside the two of them, flicking some rust off of his nails. “I still can’t believe it took you two five months, a frog pond, and me looking away to finally admit you’re queer as hell for each other.”
“The best things take time.” Logan murmured. “Though, I admit, I would have liked to have been doing this five months ago.”
“Well, maybe if you had admitted you wanted to be my partner earlier, we could’ve gotten here sooner.”
Logan lifted jav face from Roman’s shoulder to level a sweet but disappointed expression at aur. “That is exactly what I did.”
“Yeah, but you said you could go either way.” Roman pointed out, tone light and joking. “You should’ve known that wouldn’t be enough confirmation for me.”
Logan let out a small laugh, shaking jav head, but the look in jav eyes was only fond. “You’re an idiot, love.”
Roman just grinned. “Only because you keep hogging our shared braincell.”
“You can’t be trusted with it.” Logan replied, returning jav head to Roman’s shoulder, seemingly content to leave it there for as long as ja could. “But that is alright, my dear. I will keep it safe for you.”
“Thank you, my angel.” Roman responded, trying and failing to ignore how hot aur cheeks were. There was a simplicity and ease in calling Logan aurs that only confirmed to Roman that this- that them- was always meant to be, but that didn’t make aur immune to blushing about it.
“You two are cute.” Remy commented idly, leaning forward to rest her chin on Logan’s shoulder. Logan didn’t react, clearly used to the motion. “Does this make me a house-wrecker, now?”
“I don’t think you can wreck a house that has only just existed with past actions.” Logan stated thoughtfully.
Roman grinned over Logan’s head at Remy, the solid thrum of adrenaline from one successful squish-turned-partner making aur bold. “Can’t wreck a house you’re a part of, either.”
Though Roman knew Remy would never admit it, his cheeks dusted pink at Roman’s suggestion. “Funny, sugar, very funny.”
“I would not necessarily assume that Roman’s suggestion is meant to be humorous.” Logan said, which Roman could tell made Remy only blush more. “I cannot speak for aur, but I will say that I certainly wouldn’t be opposed to being in a partnership with you as well, Remy.”
“Three is my favorite number.” Roman added, wrapping an arm around Logan’s back to grab one of Remy’s hands.
“You two are going to get me confused.” Remy complained, though she squeezed Roman’s hand, using the grip as an excuse to wrap his arm around Logan’s back as well. “I hope you’re ready to deal with the consequences of that.”
“I’d be more than happy to.” Roman assured her, not bothering to stave off a giddy smile at the thought of having two wonderful partners.
“Indeed.” Logan added, shuffling a bit and forcing Remy to lean closer against java. Remy laughed at the action, but didn’t say anything, only leaning forward to kiss Logan’s cheek before settling down against jav side.
“Well, now, that’s just rude.” Roman teased, getting Remy’s attention. “Don’t I get a kiss too?”
Remy grinned. “Anything for you, hun.” He responded, careful to not crush Logan as she leaned over java and kissed Roman’s cheek. He laughed when Roman’s flush immediately renewed itself, even darker this time. “You knew that was coming.”
“That doesn’t make me prepared!” Roman replied, trying to sound indignant and knowing au was failing horribly. It didn’t help when au impulse shifted over so that au could kiss Remy’s forehead before she could get fully out of range, making it Remy’s turn to blush.
“Oh, that was mean.” Remy mumbled, but given the colour of his face and the slightly strangled way she spoke, Roman got the feeling he didn’t actually mind it much at all.
“Mhmm.” Roman hummed disbelievingly before moving to kiss Logan’s forehead as well, giddy with the knowledge that this was just a thing au could do now.
Logan reacted to Roman’s kiss faster than Roman had expected, leaning up to kiss the tip of aur nose before au could pull away, smiling at Roman. Roman smiled back without a thought. A glance up revealed Remy was smiling softly at the two of them as well, becoming even softer when she caught Roman’s gaze and smiled directly at aur.
Roman reveled in the moment, feeling as though au had never been warmer despite the chill the evening brought with it. With both aur squishes- with both aur partners- held close, Roman felt as if nothing could ever top this moment.
Now all au had to do was make sure Andy and Patton never found out about it.
#rolosleep#qpr rolosleep#anxton#ts roman#ts logan#ts sleep#ts remy#ts patton#ts shorts anxiety#ts shorts andy#fanfiction#fanfic#ts sides#sanders sides#nb!roman#nb!logan#nb!remy#nb!patton#the cryptid speaks#this fic is v self-indulgent and contains a LOT of irl references to lots of people and things#so if it isn't Great that's bc i was distracted by how much i love my partners or smth similar jshdfcbhjds#also just so y'all know roman in this fic is much more put together than i could ever hope to be
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Well @ambrechandra let’s rant about my sweet (oh god no) protagonist !
Jeez honestly I have so much to say about Lina.
She was one of my first OC I think, Mary-Sues excluded, and even if I was like 16 when I wrote her for the first time she was very much... Flat. No, I’m not talking about her chest lol, here she still is-
But yeah, Lina was a Mary-Sue and I’m not proud of it. And also a self-insert, LITTERALY. The concept of Lysara (when it wasn’t called Lysara) was a self-insert story about us wattpad writer going at war against clichés. Soooooo you see...
When I first created her she was sixteen and had an awful backstory, the Baku-like kind for those who know my OCs. Since then, i aged her up to twenty-one in Lysara, and after that when I created Azilis, nineteen.
For the Azilis ans Lysara story, well. She was created first for a RP crossover who became a FUCKING SAGA, but then I couldn’t resist making a universe entirely belonging to me, and put her (and her friends) in it. Thus were created the Azilis’ Chronickles.
And also I toned down the backstory ! She went in an orphanage instead of being forced to grow up in the streets and the only major event of her life was a quasi-agression where she killed the men trying to rape her.
She has a really pale skin. Once I thougth about making her asian-coded but I didn’t know how to proceed without changing big parts of her that I loved (like her heterochromia, a black and blue eye) and not looking racist, so now she is british. Her black hair comes from asian ascendance but said ascendance is really far in her ancestry. Also the origin is because she is from an alternative Earth.
Also, I made the conscious decision to make her shorter than me (1m58, or 5′2′’), and she is almost completely flat, but the first one who calls her a loli has to tell me if a loli would be FUCKING RIPPED. Cause she is. And i’m very gay for that. And since she is a warrior, she is covered in scars, the one we see first being one on her right eye.
She is brash, easily angered, non-empathetic (the kind to not tell a friend that she isn’t interested romantically in him (UNCONSCIOUS LIE !!!!!!) to keep the feeling of being loved) and hates to be touched by unknown people, but also brave, open-minded and outgoing. Also her curses are the best thing ever to write, to a point I got critisism on the difference between her way of talking and the way I’m writing the stories she’s in lmao
And how, how can I talk about Lina without talking about the ship who ruined my life, the one who made me rethink Lina’s aromanticism ? (yes. i know. It went like THAT.)
When I created Baku and Lina in the first place, THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A ONE-SIDED PINING ! YES I AM WEAK I MADE THEM GO TOGETHER !
For the little story, Lina was aromantic. But when I used her in the RP who became Lysara later, in the first arc, my MJ and now best friend Corneille made her fall in love with the antagonist for a love curse of some kind. And also she had in mind to hook her up with Phila, but at that time, I didn’t know, shipped like HELL my favorite pining and. Well. Too late, Baku and Lina got married. :,))
Corneille really hated me on this at first, and Baku too, but she came around eventually (and we then got the best OT3 in Lysara so scooooooore !) :,))
Since then, I rethought entirely her aromanticism so in Azilis she isn’t aro at all and in Lysara she is, but polyaffectionnate, and prone to QPR and really strong platonic relationships. and that is, until the curse where she got the romantic attraction. Also she became bi somewhere in my trail of thoughts, and went from graysexual to demisexual.
Lina has now three children in Azilis, six in Lysara (because entirely different destinies) and we’re planning to focus on them in the main story. She is also part of two of my comfort ships : in Azilis, Baku is her only partner, but in Lysara, Shera, who is the most adorable character in that entire universe, fell in love with both of them and this OT3 is litteraly the most cuddling ship ever. (And also Lina in Lysara has six children because two were born from Shera and Baku.)
Also this is a point I don’t go through a lot in my story, but she is a shapeshifter, and a powerful one. She can take the apparence of every existing animal with ease, but her form WILL have a black feature (like her hair) and maintaining it too much time without changing will provoke awful pain and tiredness. She will be able one day to take more fantasy-like forms, like djinns or common demons, but said forms will physically hurt her and she can’t maintain them for long. Also, her most powerful form is the Berserker form, where she can’t feel pain nor tiredness, and is in a “victory or death” state. Going in that form for too much time can send her in a coma. So reason would like her to don’t use it too much. Guess what she does at almost every boss battle ?
Shapeshifting aside, she is an amazing warrior. in a world where every type of weapon of every culture exists, she chose to wield a katana and is awfully good at it, but can also knock your face off with only her bare fists. Don’t make her angry.
Anyways rant over, goodbye guys-
#oc rant#yes infodump#my babies#oc#this is my universe i love so dearly#jeez i love her#she can rip you in half and will but she is baby#hel is talking#hel ocs#lysara#azilis#lysara ibruael#azilis chronicles
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tell me about the strilondes (i would go anonymous, but it wouldn't be a secret anyway)
HELL YEAH LET’S GO
Rose
How I feel about this character
she’s extremely good!! somehow kind of underrated despite being one of the main characters? she reminds me of someone I would’ve gravitated towards when I was her age lol we would’ve been friends in like eighth grade
All the people I ship romantically with this character
I mean Kanaya, obviously. Can’t go wrong with rosemary. also maybe Vriska but only in highly specific spades circumstances
My non-romantic OTP for this character
John/June!!!! their interactions in the early parts of Homestuck are so fucking funny, and they seem to really bring out the best in each other
My unpopular opinion about this character
I don’t really have any spicy takes on Rose... I’ll just go with something funny: she’s the most chaotic of the strilondes. Yes, she has more of a brain to mouth filter than some other people in her family, but her impulse decisions are Big and Dramatic. this is the girl who argued with her brother about going on a suicide mission, lost the argument, and then knocked him unconscious so she could go on the suicide mission anyway. what a woman.
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.
GIVE! HER! HER WIFE! am I talking about the meat epilogues? am I talking about how we didn’t get rosemary in pesterquest? BOTH BABY, I WANT ROSEMARY
Dave
How I feel about this character
that there is my SON. I would die for this boy. he’s one of those characters that I liked upon first meeting, and then he only got better from there
All the people I ship romantically with this character
I will talk endlessly about how good his relationship with Karkat is, don’t even test me. I could maybe get behind him and John too? It’s one of those ships that I don’t actively ship but it’s cute when I see it
My non-romantic OTP for this character
pale John and Dave is oh so very good!!! I shipped that before I even knew what moirallegiance was and only knew it was kinda like QPRs. also, his familial relationship with Roxy makes me so happy
My unpopular opinion about this character
again, I don’t really have any spicy takes on him? uhhh this is really only because I’ve come across a couple really old fics on ao3, and folks. this boy is not cool. he THINKS he’s cool and he PRETENDS he’s cool, but he’s really a BIG DWEEB. incredibly awkward. never been cool a day in his life. this hasn’t been an unpopular opinion in a while but eh
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.
I would’ve liked to have seen him interact with some other trolls! like Sollux or somebody, or even more interaction with Kanaya! his conversations with her were very funny and I wish there was More
Dirk
How I feel about this character
garbage boy stink man. I love him dearly. he’s so easy to pick on and I don’t know why, but he’s so much fun to bully relentlessly even though I love him as a character
All the people I ship romantically with this character
John! I didn’t ship dirkjohn at first, and then I read Romancing The Spitting Image Of Your Ex and it made me cry so here we are
My non-romantic OTP for this character
ROXY!!!!! they are pale and good. also his friendship with Jane is super underrated!
My unpopular opinion about this character
I Do Not Like d/rkj/ke. both because of aro jake reasons, and because it just? wasn’t good for either of them? they’re just not romantically compatible, and that’s FINE. they can be FRIENDS. FOR FUCKS SAKE.
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.
I’d love to see how his initial interactions with Kanaya and Karkat went. he was probably like “oh shit these are Dave and Rose’s partners, I should do the older brother thing and intimidate them” and then they both decimate him
Roxy
How I feel about this character
MY LOVE! I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. FUCK. GOD THEY’RE SO GOOD. sometimes I think about Roxy too much and my heart explodes
All the people I ship romantically with this character
Jane, Callie, or Jane AND Callie! Also, I’ve seen some cute stuff with Jade and Terezi too. Roxy just has so much love to give :’)
My non-romantic OTP for this character
Dirk! and Jake! Roxy is a Pale Sorcerer, moirallegiance runs in their veins. also their dynamic with Hal is quite good, and of course I love them and Rose and Dave
My unpopular opinion about this character
not necessarily unpopular but definitely a hot take: Roxy and Terezi are objectively the best characters in homestuck. the COMPLEXITIES. the HUMOR. the STRENGTH. the FLAWS. homestuck peaked on page 1524 when Terezi first spoke, and then again on page 4156 when Roxy first spoke, and that’s just the facts
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.
I want them to talk. to more. trolls. pls. and also talking to John about the fact that the two of them (and half of Davepetasprite I guess) are the only ones left from their universe :(
#hs blogging#I love the strilondes.....#I don't have many unpopular opinions?????#except for the d*rkj*ke one LMAO#braveadrien#asks
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Hi! I'm begging for help here! I know I'm ace but I'm wondering if I am aro too, and I know that you are. Please tell me what you think romantic attraction is. I know the actual definition but I just can't understand it at all. I think I want relationship in theory. I think I want someone to be with me, and I think I want physical affection (without making out sex which repulses me) but I have never been in love before or had a crush and I don't know if that's just because I am ace or not 1/2
“2/2 but everytime i cuddle up to someone i am super aware of everything and I can’t be comfortable. Maybe it’s because I’m not romantically interested in them. But does it mean I am aromantic? The prospect of never having a girlfriend or a boyfriend makes me feel really depressed. I don’t wanna be alone for the rest of my life. I want someone to share my life with and someone with who I will be 100% comfortable with. But I just don’t know. I’m really confused and sad, basically.
3/2 oh sorry, I forgot to add: while I never had a crush I still find multiple genders attractive. I almost never imagine myself kissing them or cuddling them tho. I have like two exceptions and those are celebs that I’ve been stanning for years.”
🖋🖋🖋
Hello lovely person!! I am more than happy to try and help ya out! I can’t tell you like yes you are aro or no you are not because ultimately it’s for you to decide but I can kinda help you along the way in figuring it out by sharing my experiences! So this may get long so strap in lol here we we go!
I am for sure definitely aro as you know. I am also bisexual and experience sexual attraction so my experiences are different in that aspect but that’s a whole other animal lol so for now any physical stuff I mention is gonna refer to like non sex stuff. Okay so romance to me is a difficult concept because I’ve never felt it so like it totally seems like some fictional thing to me like I’m still convinced romance is fake.. I’ve never had a crush before. I have celebrities and people I admire and find hot but I wouldn’t date them if I was given the chance because ahh nope! Before I knew what aromantic was I used to force myself to date because it was “normal” and wow that was not good but I learned a lot about myself. Like I HATE cuddling. I HATE holding hands. I hated all these courtship rituals and gah I didn’t hate being committed to one person but I hated being expected to perform these activities especially with this one person and this one person alone. Awful. Romantic gestures in general just make me very uncomfortable and always have and I’ve dated like 5 people in my life and it was the same no matter who it was, male or female.
But with that being said, I am definitely more physically affectionate when I KNOW the other person has only platonic feelings for me. Which leads me to my next point:
Being aromantic doesn’t mean you will be forever alone. Not at all! So there’s this thing in the aro/ace community that you may have heard of called a queer platonic relationship or quasiplatonic relationship and it is a committed relationship that is, well.. platonic. But its different than just friendship. It’s a relationship that is not romantic but has a very close emotional connection that can be at the level of a romantic relationship but it’s not romantic. Which this can be hard to understand but its… like.. okay. so the boundaries are up to the people involved. Hmmm how to explain… so it’s like picking a partner for a fun school project like this person is your partner! And you’re thiers! You work together, you support each other, you work with your partner and it’s fun because you get each other! Yeah, you talk to the people sitting around you while you work because you’re friends with them too but you don’t work on their project and they don’t work on your project, because that’s between you and your chosen partner. It can be a monogamous QPR or a polyamorous QPR like there are so many ways to have a relationship than the movies show us and it’s pretty amazing! (The idea of a QPR sounds amazing to me omg)
There are lots of people out there who are looking for a relationship like this and as much as some assholes like to make fun of QPRs it’s a real thing and it’s something that more people should be aware of tbh. And also I think it for sure helps to be more physically affectionate like cuddling or holding hands when you know the other person is only feeling platonic feelings as well which is why I can hug a friend but get really really uncomfortable hugging someone I know has a crush on me. That one distinction may be all you need. But to sum up though, I actually have no clue what romantic attraction is because I haven’t felt it which that right there is a big indication that I am aromantic. Also you can identify as aromantic but keep an open mind for the future like hey maybe your aromantic now but labels change life changes. You’re not the same person that you were last year. You can identify as aro now because that is accurate to who you are in this moment but it is 100% okay if that changes in the future
and yeah! I hope all that had something helpful in it omg 😅
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greyromantic esp annoys me because romance us not just a series of acts you can feel like doing sometimes but not other times, it just seems to misunderstand the whole idea of romance and what relationships mean to try to say that 'being romantically attracted only very rarely' is a coherent identity. I can't really articulate it but it also sort of implies that 'allos' just fall in romance at first sight constantly. ugh sorry for the rant
Yeah, it’s fucking bizarre?? And what I don’t understand with that concept is the idea like... does that change once you’re in a relationship?
Like, are you grey and then you find the right person and ‘oh shit lmao guess I’m continually into them” or are they gonna say “only once a year do I ACTUALLY feel interest in my romantic partner.”
Because, like, I get that in a relationship you’re not gonna be 100% on all the time, every relationship has moments where maybe you’re in love but some other shit is going on and you’re maybe too exhausted/distracted/whatever to give your relationship your all but?? IDGI.
I also don’t get what “romantic attraction” is meant to BE besides... wanting to be in a specific relationship with a specific person? Like, while sexual attraction can be described in a more innate way... romantic attraction really is just “wanting to be extra special in someone’s life” for whatever reason you can come up with. I wanted to be with my supervisor because he seemed real erudite but still played monster hunter for 90% of our shift and I was impressed by the ~duality of man~.
I don’t get people who claim to be aro because they don’t like commitment but then claim their QPRs are lifelong and intense bonds. I also don’t get people who claim to be aro because they don’t like doing romantic things (dates, candle lit dinners) because like... plenty of non-aro people don’t do those things either?? Romantic relationships are literally what you decide htey should be. For like... a lot of people romantic relationships are just friendships + a dash of intimacy they only reserve for romance (which can be sexual intimacy but might just be emotional intimacy like letting someone in a bit more).
Like... this entire thing... really does seem to miss the fundamentals of how romance is a completely arbitrary and very subjective experience??
I’ve had people tell me they’re aro because they don’t want to get married and it’s like??? Have you spoken to a millennial in the past 5 years. Shit tons of us don’t want to get married. Marriage =/= Romance.
And it just gets MORE laughable to me because then you’re claiming that cishet people who don’t want to get married but might date and fuck and fuck eeven have kids with people are somehow “not straight” or “lacking straight privilege” because they don’t want to get married.
Maybe this is the result of people staying inside more and not experiencing “real life” but only experiencing culture through the media which tends to take things to the extremes and play up romance/sexuality because like... I promise you “romantic attraction” doesn’t just look like wanting to fuck someone at a picnic or blow your entire paycheck at a candle lit dinner... most of the time it’s just “man, I hope this person values me as much as I value them and that I’m one of their most important people.”
Romance isn’t weddings or date nights or anything you don’t want it to be... it’s just loving and supporting each other for as long as you’ll have each other. It’s really, REALLY not that deep.
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hello! i hope you don’t mind a q: ive id’d as aro for so long id rather talk to a community than a q&a blog. basically, ive been in a qpr for about 6mo with a rly lovely person. im happy and were communicating a lot, but im finding that as the initial stronger “honeymoon” feelings settle down, im becoming more confused abt how love feels or what im “supposed” to be feeling in a qpr. do you have insight? also idm if you toss this to other followers instead of using spoons to respond personally
Oh, anon, I understand that, so no worries. I don’t follow any 101/ask-styleblogs for any of my identities because so many conversations are on alevel of identity exploration no longer relevant to me.
I will say that I am not the world’s most experienced person when it comesto relationships, so I encourage folks who feel that they relate to your wordsto comment away, because your personal experience is much more important thanmy rambling. (And thanks for being such a dear about my spoons!)
I will also say, more for other people reading this post than for you, anon,that I consider thispost by @aroacepagans and thispost by @aphobephobe essential reading on the subject of queerplatonicrelationships, especially in terms of exploring what QPRs are and how theyfunction as a response to amatonormativity. These posts convey a note of “QPRsdescribe non-amatonormative relationships that fit the needs of theparticipants as opposed to the amatonormative mold of participants shaped tofit the relationship” that form the backbone of how I understand a QPR.
Anon, I am wary of words like “should” and “supposed”.
They’re words I tend to say unthinkingly: I should feel this, I shouldn’twant this, I’m supposed to do this more easily, I’m supposed tounderstand, I’m not supposed to be confused. They’re words that compareourselves to an illusion of experience and leave us wanting, and the goodpsychologists I’ve worked with made interrupting noises every time I spokethem. Yes, Western society has a raft of rules about how to be human that itexpects me to live up to, but are those rules right and fair? Do theyacknowledge my limitations and struggles and differences, or do they make me feel bad about being shoved in a box that doesn’t fit me? Is there anything about the litany of shouldand supposed that allows us to regard ourselves, as we truly are, withkindness and compassion?
Are we truly supposed to feel anything? Or is it kinder to let go ofthe idea that we are supposed to feel in any specific way, to giveourselves space to feel as we do?
What is love, then? What does it feel like? Whatever love is or howmuch it matters, no two people are going to have the same answer orunderstanding on how it works, what it feels like to experience and howimportant it is to possess it or understand it. I find love to be anebulous concept at best, and I don’t use it as a basis for defining how I careabout other people. I come across as that heartless aro autistic byalloromantic and allistic norms because I cannot perform socially-centred love, but I find peace in centring things I better understand, likegratitude, connection and compassion. Other people will feel differently ofcourse, but I think it proves that there is no universal understanding of whatlove is, its importance or the ways in which it operates and is expressed (justas there’s no true universalunderstanding of what romance is or how it operates).
If love is an individualised experience, even though society pushes theillusion it isn’t, is there any way to determine what it’s “supposed” to feellike or when I’m “supposed” to feel it, even if/when it’s non-romantic?
The aro-spec community looked at the amatonormative mould of romanticattraction and love as universal, said no, that doesn’t work for us, andthen developed a relationship model that ignores it. For this reason, as weknow what it means to be erased by a model that doesn’t serve us, it seems tome that determining how we’re supposed to feel love in a QPR undermines thespirit of naming QPRs in the first place.
I will push for QPRs to be individualistic at heart, defined by the peoplewithin them, with limitless possibilities for what their love/connection looks like andhow relevant love/connection is to those involved. If you are in a QPR, anon? If you andyour partner are content? Then your love is enough, and your love is right forthat QPR, and there is no need for a map of supposed to shove you onto apre-existing road. You can build your own, designed for the relationship you’rein.
Unlike a romantic relationship, that’s a scary thing: there’s no outline ofprogression, no map to follow, no pre-marked stops on the route ahead of you,fewer folks who can advise you. There’s fewer narratives on what a QPR maylook like long-term, where you might end up, or what this relationship mightbecome under stress or tension—or how to keep a QPR together under thoseforces. I have a feeling, anon, that this is from where your ask may be coming,and that’s a weight all aro-specs bear in varying ways, this sense that we’rewalking paths nobody has travelled before us. You’re not alone in it, andyou’re right to struggle with it (I know I do!) but I don’t think there’s anyanswer for you in my positing what your love or any other feelings in a QPR is “supposed” to be.
(I’d love to see discussions about folks in longer-term QPRs and howthey deal with tensions and outside stresses on and within their relationship,especially for situations when romantic relationships serve as no usefulguideline or parallel. We need more mature conversations on QPRs that gowell beyond their inception and focus instead on the long-term building andthe sustaining of them under social and amatonormative pressures.)
If you’re concerned, anon, ask your partner. Talk about what it is you feel,ask what they feel. Talk about what love means to you and them, talk about whata QPR means to you and them, talk about the lack of social narrative to guideyou both and how that impacts you and them, talk about this feeling that youdon’t know what you’re “supposed” to feel in terms of love in a QPR, talkabout expectations and dreams and needs, talk. I'd be surprised if your partnerisn’t feeling some of this, too, and it’s so much easier to endure the pressureof “supposed” when you’ve got someone to share it with!
I don’t believe that there’s any kind of love or other feelings we’re “supposed” to feel in aQPR, and I’d never draw lines for you or anyone else on that point. All I cando is validate you in my belief that if your love or connection is accepted and valued by you and your partner, that’s all that matters.
#anon#ask#text#not media#QPR#queerplatonic#relationships#amatonormativity in relationships#long post#very long post#mod k.a.#personal#love#amatonormativity#discussion post
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