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loganlermanstanaccount · 1 year

Text

Real Pretty

pairing: joel miller x reader

(AO3 mirror) summary: You and Joel are not in a relationship. But Joel gets jealous anyways.

author's note: Timeline's a little hazy, au where Joel, Ellie and Y/N stay in Jackson and nothing bad happens ever.

warnings: fluff, Joel's OOC as shit (what's new), filthy filthy smut (you have been warned), 18+ minors DNI

wc: 1.2k

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You can't stop staring. Oh god, he's pretty. You steal a glance at him with a mouthful of food by the canteen table. He's just woken up, by the looks of it: shirt a little wrinkled and hair all over the place. With a yawn, the base of his denim shirt lifts up to expose his tan belly, right at the v-line, with a dark tuft of hair leading right down to..

SLAM! Ellie bangs her tray on the table and clatters into her seat.

"You look like shit." she says with a toothy grin.

"And you smell like shit, you little gremlin." You snap, without missing a beat. Woah. Too much, maybe.

She just laughs, her smile a bit wider, and that glint in her eye. "Oh yeah? Well I heard that somebody had a real good night yesterday."

You pause to give Ellie a look. A look that says she's too young and too nosy. And, most importantly: what the fuck was she talking about?

"That guy? Paulie or Peter or what's-his-face? Heard he slept over at the clinic."

"Huh?" you splutter, almost choking on your food.

"Kathy's mom saw him walking out of the clinic this morning. Using the backdoor. Everyone's talking about it." she tells you like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"Ellie, nothing happened. And if it did it would be none of your business."

"Uh-huuh."

"I'm serious. Nothing. Happened. You should know better than to trust gossip. This kind of thing can be really hurtful and you're lucky I don't-"

"Don't worry, your secret's safe with me. Joel definitely doesn't know."

"Joel doesn't know what?" He walks up and pulls out the chair next to you, plate of food in one hand.

"Somebody," she looks you dead in the eye. "boinked Petey last night in the clinic but doesn't want to admit it."

That last line made you squint. Ah. Now you get it. Ellie's attempt at revenge for teasing her about a certain crush she 'doesn't want to admit'. Touché.

"Boinked?" Joel coughs into his eggs. "Jesus, forget I asked."

~~~

Later, Joel meets you in the makeshift office of the clinic after hours. It had been surprisingly quiet considering the bustle of the previous week. So much so, that you jolt at the knock at the door. You forgot he was coming over to mend a broken cupboard.

He comes with a toolbox and kneels by the cupboards, propping up the broken door with one hand and a screwdriver in the other. The very door you had struggled to open and close not too long ago. He had picked it up with ease, and you watched in awe as his hands took out the worn screws, dexterous and nimble. The room was so quiet, you couldn't help yourself.

"I patched him up and worked late. He took one of the beds and was out like a light, I swear."

"I believe you." He doesn't look up. Is he mad? Jealous, even? His face was stoic, unreadable and so you kept going.

"I was just taking inventory. And I can handle myself, you know that or else I never would've taken the chance."

"I know." Nothing. Again. You slump in your chair and watch him finish up in silence.

"Sweetheart," he says, packing up. "You're thinking out loud again."

His voice is soft and it makes you melt. "Everyone thinks something happened Joel. They're gonna think I'm a slut, or something."

He pads over and kneels so he's level with you. Gently, Joel cups your cheek with one hand, and puts his hand on your thigh with the other.

"That's because you are a slut, sweetheart."

He kneads your thighs, creeping closer and closer to your core. "You're the prettiest fuckin' slut I've ever seen."

Your mind goes blank when Joel's like this. Voice as soft as butter whispering the filthiest shit whilst stroking your pussy. His fingers ghost over your jeans and you whimper. "I'm not a- fuck!"

He dips his hand into your underwear. Soaking wet and he's barely touched you. He keeps it slow, drawing lazy circles around your clit whilst holding you close.

"Don't like hearing those things about you. They don't see you -fuck - like I do. You didn't fuck him, darlin', I know that. But he wanted to. You can see it in his eyes." He's faster now, dipping a finger in and out your hole like it's his job. You hold onto his forearm to steady yourself and hump his hand. Desperately chasing your climax.

"That's it, that's it. Good fuckin' girl. You wanna cum?" He asks and you nod your head dumbly. "Use your words, darlin'. Need'ta hear you say it."

"Yes, yes, please Joel…. wanna cum-"

He nods and you throw your head onto his shoulder, shaking as you cum into Joel's hands. He pulls his hand out of your jeans and licks them clean with hooded eyes. He's hard, cupping himself over his trousers and rocking slightly to relieve the pressure. What a sight; Joel Miller on his knees for you, because of you.

You grab him by the lapel of his shirt and fall into a sloppy kiss, tasting yourself on his tongue. You motion to take off his shirt and start to strip yourself. When your shirt comes off he presses hot kisses into your bare skin; mumbling profanities into your collarbone and the peak of your tits.

His pants come off and you reach to pump him; his tip red and sticky with precum. He groans and grabs your hand, lips plump and swollen from kissing you.

"-shit, not yet," He helps you stand, and bends you over the desk, bow-legged. You're hot and sticky and desperate now, whining for him to fill you up-

-and he does, in one swift motion, without any warning or prep. "You're gonna take what I give you, ain't that right sweetheart?"

You nod haphazardly, whining under his grip. His hips piston into you at just the right angle, so fast you're seeing stars.

"No-one else can fuck you like I can, don't forget that. Next time, a little shit like Petey comes round, you tell him you're mine, won't you?" You're babbling now, incoherent as pleasure builds in your gut. "All mine. All. Fuckin'. Mine."

With that, a coil snaps, and your legs collapse under the pleasure that washes over you. Joel is quick to follow, turning you around so that when he cums on your stomach, he can see the bliss on your face. Gently, he picks you up like a blushing bride into the next room, onto one of the treatment beds. He gets a towel from the supply cupboards and cleans you up, kissing your forehead. He clambers in next to you. It's a tight fit but he manages to snake an arm around and pull you towards him. Soft breath in your ear as you both stare up at the mottled ceiling, speckled in fluorescent light. Well, he did, anyway. You turn to look at him.

He was even prettier this close. Real pretty.

#i neeeeeed him #look me in the eyes and tell me he's not possessive #joel miller #joel tlou #joel the last of us #joel miller x reader #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x you #joel miller smut #pedro pascal x reader #kat_writes😼

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lxclerc · 1 month

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𝐬𝐨 𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐧 ─ 𝐦𝐯𝟏

summary: where max verstappen is the subject of a love song from a singer who never writes love songs pairing: max verstappen x american singer!reader faceclaim: no one specifically but based off olivia rodrigo

note: me? writing max verstappen? smau fluff? on main? everyone look away.

dailyynupdates

liked by user33, user4, user16 and others

dailyynupdates yn was seen around monte carlo the past few days, taking pictures with fans and allegedly cozying up with three time world champion max verstappen

view all 104,210 comments...

user12 what is going on in the house of commons because this was the last thing i expected

user39 this is quite literally the most random pairing i've ever stumbled across

user91 how do they even know each other 😭 user63 right like...where did this even come from? how did it start? literally how did they meet? they could not be farthest apart in the sphere of famous people

user19 now who the hell is max verstappen and why is he with my wife?

user49 oh girl you have a lot to catch up on the max lore user71 max is a formula one driver user56 saying max is a formula 1 driver like he currently isn't dominating the sport to the point where people hates him saying he's making it boring since he keeps winning because he's just that fucking good that literally no other driver can keep up is kinda wild user10 oh so our girl's new man is good at his job user52 "good at his job might just be the biggest understatement of the century when it comes to max. man's a fucking beast at his job

user48 i dont have to see her with her ratty ex anymore omfg war is over

user93 dare i say...they're adorable

user82 yn being in an age appropriate, healthy relationship? i never thought the day would come

user74 we won for real 🥹🫶

dailyynupdates

liked by user23, user31, user69 and others

dailyynupdates max and yn in a video posted by yn's friend 😭

view all 59,129 comments...

user93 oh my god look at them 😭

user81 they look so in love i want to cry

user65 "maximillian, do i look pretty like this?" "you always look pretty" i couldn't quite catch what he said at the end but 😭😭😭

user85 dutch here and i believe he said "laiverd" which means darling user75 this means so much to me user65 you just made my entire week

user45 seeing her in love after all the shit men is healing a part of me i didnt know was broken

user53 max fixing her hood then kissing her cheek what if you just stabbed me

user31 every time i see these, i get the urge to take a shot of bleach 😀

sincerelyyn ✓

liked by conangrey, maxverstappen1, taylorswift and others

sincerelyyn can't have a conversation if it's not all about you

view all 402,452 comments...

yourfriend as the other person of those conversations, he's fine i guess 😒

sincerelyyn you know i love youuuuu

taylorswift love seeing you happy ❤️

sincerelyyn ❤️❤️ user73 mother is all of us user63 you know it's real when it's taylor swift approved

conangrey i hate happy couples i hope you both trip 🫶

sincerelyyn die 🫶

user92 their friendship is everything to me

user15 not girlie trying to soft launch like we all don't know who it is 😭

user43 THEYRE SO ‼️🥵🥰⚠️

user65 you're so right

user24 i'm so happy finally seeing our girl happy 😭

user84 "someday i'll be everything to somebody else" YES YOU ARE BABYGIRL 😭

maxverstappen1

liked by sincerelyyn, charles_leclerc, landonorris and others

maxverstappen1 my american girl 🩷

view all 308,291 comments...

charles_leclerc i still can't believe this is happening

maxverstappen1 for someone who don't even follow me, you sure are early to my posts 😒 user91 max gagged him with that im afraid

landonorris please please max talk to her about getting me tickets 😭

user85 lando is just like us fr struggling to get guts tour tickets maxverstappen1 no ❤️ landonorris 😔 sincerelyyn @landonorris let me get you in contact with my team 🤍 maxverstappen1 baby noooo sincerelyyn be nice, max landonorris HELL YEAH THANKS YN user42 this is the crossover i never thought i needed

user66 max posting non racing content and being all soft in the comments for yn in what world am i in

user52 fr i feel like im in an alternate universe 😭

sincerelyyn love youuuu

maxverstappen1 love you more

sincelyyn i never knew love could be so golden till i met you <3

maxverstappen1 mijn hele hart is van jou, schat (you own my entire heart, darling) user42 they mean so very much to me 😭

danielricciardo god the two of you make me nauseous

maxverstappen1 hating because you ain't us danielricciardo im not liking that attitude, kid 😒 user71 daniel is so us

sincerelyyn

liked by maxverstappen1, taylorswift, yourfriend and others

sincerelyyn so american will be out on all platforms at midnight. a letter to the man i love, the only way i know how ❤️

view all 592,649 comments...

maxverstappen1 i adore you with everything in my being ❤️

sincerelyyn ik hou van je (i love you)

i hope you guys liked this as much as i loved writing it 🫶

#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 instagram au #f1 x you #f1 #f1 social media au #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen instagram au #max verstappen x you #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen fanfic #max verstappen #max verstappen fluff

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satoruwiki · 3 months

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Roommate gojo stealing your plushies to hump them

⊹ ˚˖ ▹ MODERN PROBLEMS, MODERN SOLUTIONS!

MINORS, AGELESS AND BLANK BLOGS DNI.

content: nsfw; smut; afab!f!reader; pervy!gojo; roommate!au; masturbation

w.c: 0.9k

n/a: somebody get this man a fleshlight before he makes a hole on your stuff 😭lol. any feedback/request/interaction supporting this post is very much appreciated <3 previously on pervy roommate!gojo.

Since the 'pillow incident,' as you called it, you stopped Satoru from doing your laundry.

"Why? Did I ruin one of your clothes?" He asked, his eyes wide like the ones of a puppy being scolded.

You bit back from saying 'yes,' unsure of how to address the situation, "No, it's just... I've been thinking that maybe it's a little weird for you, a guy, to wash my clothes, y'know?"

"I really appreciate your help, 'toru, but I feel a little awkward to have you wash my underwear. It'd be best if I did it myself."

Doubt gnawed at his mind. Had you seen him without him noticing? If so, when? How could he know? To try to talk about it even in passing would be like walking on a landmine; it would raise suspicions in case his theory was false. Satoru had not perceived any anomaly in your attitude -except for the latter- nor in your relationship with him, so what motivated you to suddenly make such a decision?

Whatever the reason, you had deprived him of a means to yearn for you, as he liked to describe it. Now that he had no reason to enter your room without permission and apparent reason, he must either make do or come up with another idea. You may not have known it yet, but Satoru was persistent and determined.

—

"Stop! It's not funny!" you giggled, throwing your plushie back at him, "you're gonna mess up my hair. It took me hours to get it right," you turned back to your vanity mirror, finishing your makeup with a fine coat of lip gloss on your lips.

Satoru gave you a funny look. "It did not take you hours," he said incredulously.

"It did, but you would not know that because you're a man, and guys don't know the real struggles of making yourself pretty," you answered matter-of-factly, "I almost had a breakdown getting these fuckers to look even," you pointed to your eyeliner.

"Anyway, I gotta go now. Text me if you're gonna bring a girl here; I wouldn't want to walk on you like last time," you said, heading out.

Satoru rolled his eyes, feeling his cheeks burn that you remembered that little incident. "That was months ago!" you heard before closing the door behind you.

Okay, maybe it wasn't totally an accident; he just wanted to see what would be your reaction if you caught him having sex with another girl. He felt very disappointed when you were so chill about it; it made him feel dumb to think his genius plan would work.

"My god, why does she always remember the embarrassing bits?" Satoru groaned under his breath with shame in his words, bringing his hands to his face, trying to hide from his embarrassment.

Satoru felt a whirlwind of nerves and frustration inside him. He wondered how much longer he could stand hiding his feelings from you. It felt like the more he spent time with you, the harder it got. How much more could he take without you? Without embracing your silky soft lips against his, without exploring the curves of your body and discovering what makes you reach ecstasy, without marking your skin with tokens of love and hearing those honey-sweet sounds that ring like an unparalleled symphony to his ears.

"Fuck," Satoru whined, closing his lips shut to stifle his sounds as he palmed his pulsing hard cock over his tented pants, his mind wandering off in libidinous places.

Satoru cursed; he couldn't use your pillow or your underwear to relieve his cock, not without risking your suspicions raising. He moaned in discomfort; he needed something that belonged to you (or that at least had your scent on), or he couldn't tame down his libido.

His hand brushed against the soft texture of the plushie, causing his eyes to pry open. He gazed at the cuddly plush creature and hesitated; should he profane something so adorable? It still had traces of your perfume on it...

He hoped you could forgive him if you ever find out what happened, he implored mentally, inhaling your fragrance from the poor cuddly toy. Soft whimpers escaped him, feeling close... to you. Sometimes, he liked to pretend you were watching him or were actively participating, that his hand wasn't his and was your warm fingers palming his cock instead, talking him through it with that velvety voice of yours. "Fuck, yes baby, I love you so, so much," he babbled, grinding over the soft toy.

Satoru hovered over the plushie and humped it with abandon, the wet patch on his pants getting larger and larger the more he sought friction with the inanimate toy and chased his climax. He wrinkled the sheets underneath him by fisting them tightly, panting and babbling nonsense about you and the things he'd do to you if you just gave him a chance.

His muscles tensed and his body writhed, his orgasm drawing a strangled noise out of him. Satoru let his body plop on the mattress, his chest heaving and eyes lidded, blissed out and tired. His gaze slowly drifted to the toy in his hand, and he mentally cursed himself, watching it now soiled with translucent, slimy fluid.

—

"Smells like detergent, did you clean it?" You asked, sniffing on the toy that usually sat on your bed, now smelling like fresh linen instead of its usual scent.

Satoru twiddled his fingers, giving you an apologetic look. "Yeah, sorry, I accidentally spilled something on it."

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milkb0nny · 1 year

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🤍 𝒃𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒏 𝒂 𝒓𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒂 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒕 𝒔/𝒐

characters: Al Haitham, Sampo Koski, Gepard Landau, Dan Heng

content: how would they treat a short s/o with a big personality? // fluff // gn! reader //

warnings: none

🍃... 𝑨𝒍 𝑯𝒂𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒎

▫️Al Haitham himself is quite tall so the height difference between the two of you is very obvious. When you speak to him your neck suffers from pain since you have to look up. He notices it and always has a seat somewhere for you, where you can sit and look him comfortably in the face. For example when you're out and you really want to talk for more than ten minutes, he'll look for a suitable place where you two sit down.

▫️ Besides that he mentions you don't have to stare in his face when you talk to him. He's okay with holding your hand and soft glimpses every now and then. Don't get me wrong he loves to look in your beautiful face but he doesn't want your neck broken.

▫️He struggles to find fitting gifts for you in terms of clothes. "What size do they have again? It should fit but... Aren't the sleeves a little too long?" Whenever he wants to get you a nice dress or shoes he's a little lost. It often ends up too big but you don't mind since you're used to wear his clothes all the time.

▫️Al Haitham won't tease you for your height as much as he teases Kaveh for his art skills. He'll sometimes kiss you on the top of your head or put his head on yours when he's tired but don't expect a lot of mean comments. Al Haitham can be sort of an asshole but not with you.

▫️On other days he questions how such a tiny person can claim so much space in bed. When he's sick of you stealing all the space and the blanket as well, he just drags you on top of him so you use him as a mattress. He won't say it but he sleeps calmer when your comfortable weight presses on him in his sleep. Let's say he feels protected which isn't an every day feeling.

🍃... 𝑺𝒂𝒎𝒑𝒐 𝑲𝒐𝒔𝒌𝒊

▫️Let's be real you knew exactly what was waiting for you when you got in an established relationship with this man. Sampo will always tease you for how short you are and that's the fate you chose.

▫️When you got to know each other he said he can't imagine how such a little human can have this big of a mouth. Of course you're more than "cute" and your height doesn't define your personality so you tease him for his unreliable personality and how shabby he is. It's kinda an ironic discussion you even have now.

▫️You know he loves your height though because through all the teases he adores you. You notice that this man also wants to protect you and when somebody else says something about your height, he'll point out that it is only his right to do so because he's your boyfriend.

▫️Nevertheless you're happy with him and he's a great help as well. He helps you stack items on cupboards, lifts you up when you need something or he has you sitting on his shoulders when you can't see the stage when Serval holds a concert.

▫️Sampo is worried in times he can't see you in a crowd because when he doesn't see you, he expects the worst. So when he finally notices how you make your way through so many people, he's relieved nothing happened to you.

🍃... 𝑮𝒆𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒅 𝑳𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒂𝒖

▫️He isn't bothered by your height as much as maybe others are. To him you're as tall as everyone else because he sees your personality evenly as everyone else's. You don't have to be worried that he takes you on a light shoulder or can't take you serious. Luckily Gepard is one of the few people that won't belittle you.

▫️Gepard still likes your short figure and admires you whenever you cross ways on the day. The way you look up to the flower seller or how tiny you are when you crouch down to feed pigeons is too adorable.

▫️He usually doesn't comment on your height whatsoever but he does question things like how do your feet fit in your shoes. He's aware you struggle with reaching high places but he also knows you mostly find a solution yourself.

▫️It makes him proud when he comes in the kitchen and sees you on a stool with books stacked on them to get what you want. Surely he's worried that you'll fall but in the end you do that too when he's not home.

▫️He loves to hold your tiny hands and compare them to his. His gentle reminder that you're a shortie makes you feel flustered rather than frustrated. Usually people aren't so careful and think every short person wants to be reminded of their height constantly.

▫️Gepard is afraid people will harm your tiny statue. As the captain of the Silvermane Guards some people dislike him, especially the few criminals who live in Belobog. He's tells you to be careful whenever you go out by yourselves. I mean he's fond of your fighting skills but he would rather take in a few scratches to keep you from fighting. Criminals or thrugs would also think you're weak and an easy target. That's why Gepard always has an eye on you.

🍃... 𝑫𝒂𝒏 𝑯𝒆𝒏𝒈

▫️In his life he encountered many people of all sorts. Tall, short, big, small and whatever kind of humans. He never bothered to judge about their shape or height. I mean, he cares about other topics way more. So he's quite neutral towards it.

▫️He still was surprised by you and always liked how your height fits your whole appearance. It doesn't come off as weird, it suits you even if you're personality is loud.

▫️When you're on unfamiliar planets, he constantly holds your hand or has a hand on your shoulder. He wants to make sure you're okay. Of course he knows short people who can fight aren't in danger but still he wouldn't forgive himself if you were injured badly.

▫️He's used to talk with short people. Pompom or Herta do cross his life quite often and so he doesn't even notice you're short as well.

▫️Dan Heng has habit of being annoyed whenever March or Himeko belittle you or point out of adorable you are. It's more of an unconscious reaction though. I mean sure you're adorable but only your height? Did they look at your cute face ever before?!

▫️He loves to cuddle you in private. He drags your tiny presence in his arms and enjoys the time he spends with you. That you're so short fits perfectly because he can read books when you sit in his lap without an issue.

#alhaitham #al haitam x reader #genshin impact headcanons #genshin x reader #honkai star rail #dan heng x reader #dan heng #sampo koski #sampo koski x reader #gepard landau x reader #gepard landau #honkai star rail x reader

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steddiealltheway · 1 year

Text

@steddie-week day 1: hunger / pining / Somebody to Love by Queen

"I'm going to murder Steve if he tries to flirt hopelessly with another girl when he likes Eddie," Robin says with a groan.

"Keep your hands still," Nancy gently reminds Robin as she paints another black layer on her nails. "Does Steve know that he likes Eddie?" Nancy asks with a laugh.

Robin resists the urge to use her hands to speak. "No! But even you have seen the pining. I thought he was going to have a meltdown when he saw Gareth jokingly flirt with Eddie."

Nancy blows on Robin's nails before frowning and scraping off some polish that got on her fingers. "Maybe Gareth is in love with Eddie," Nancy jokes.

Robin laughs. "He's been asking me if you're single for months now."

"If only he knew..." Nancy says with a wide smile before laying a kiss on her girlfriend's hand. "But hey, I'm dealing with Eddie who is hopelessly trying to get over his crush on Steve. He would be willing to be set up with anyone, I swear."

Robin throws her hands up. "That's it!"

"Robin your nails-"

"We set them up on a blind date. Steve has been trying to get me to find someone for him forever now, and Eddie wants the same thing from you! It can be operation... Find Them Somebody to Love."

"You just got that from my Queen tape."

"But it's a great plan!" Robin says with a victorious smile. She holds out her hand to shake on it.

Nancy rolls her eyes and shakes Robin's hand. "If this works, I'll repaint your nails."

Robin's brow furrows. "What do you mean..." she trails off as she looks at them.

"There's some in your hair," Nancy says with a wince.

Robin starts to scrape the paint off. "You call Eddie while I get this off."

Nancy watches her struggle for a moment before handing her some nail polish remover. "I hope this works for our sake."

-:-:-:-:-:-

To say Steve is surprised when Robin excitedly calls him to set him up with someone is an understatement. He may be a bit clueless and naive, but he knows when she's up to something. But maybe she's excited and thinks it's just a really good match, but he thinks that's just the hopeless romantic in him talking.

He also thinks it's strange that the date is at a burger joint that Eddie really likes, but maybe Eddie helped Robin with the date? He really hopes not but doesn't know why. He also knows that maybe the burger joint is a coincidence and the Eddie thought is just because Steve can't stop thinking about him.

It's weird. He's never really had a friend like him before, but he thinks it's part of the trauma bonding that makes Steve feel so intensely about him. But it's different from Robin it's... he doesn't know.

But he doesn't have much time to think about it as he parks outside the food joint. Time to lay on the Harrington charm.

As he walks in he notices only one table that has one person at it. The girl is facing away from Steve in a booth, her long dark curly hair being the only thing visible. She's definitely Steve's type.

As Steve approaches the table he runs a hand through his hair and tries not to think about how she has hair like Eddie's. As he turns to the girl with his most charming smile, it quickly turns into a real smile. "Eddie?" Steve asks.

Eddie's head snaps up and multiple emotions cross over his face as he takes in Steve. "Steve? What are you doing here?"

"Blind date, and you?"

Eddie replies, "Same here, man. Nancy set me up."

Steve tries to ignore the way his heart seems to break. He gives Eddie a smile but it's too tight and entirely fake. "Robin set me up, but hey, that's great, Munson." Steve goes as far as patting Eddie on the back which makes him internally cringe. What's happening?

Eddie slowly glances at Steve's arm and gives it a confused look as his hand still stays on his back. "Right, sorry," Steve apologizes and feels entirely not like himself. Why is he so damn nervous? "But hey, what if I waited here with you until our dates come and we can keep each other company?"

It looks like Eddie wants to say no, but Steve is already sliding into the booth. Eddies just continues to stare at Steve as if he's the last person he wants to see at the moment. Steve ignores those signs and continues talking, "So a blind date? I didn't know you were looking for someone."

Eddie huffs and looks down at the table. "I'm not really looking for someone, I'm just trying to get over someone."

Steve feels that familiar pang in his chest. "Someone I know?"

"Like you wouldn't believe," Eddie mutters. Steve just nods because he has no idea what that means. Eddie continues, "I didn't want to like this guy, but it just kind of happened. And they're incredible and way out of my league, so here I am. But they're somehow just always around..." Eddie trails off staring at Steve.

He almost feels like Eddie is trying to hint at something, but he isn't sure what. "I've been there. It took me a while to get over Nance, but eventually with time it happened. But hey, I don't know how someone could be out of your league, man. I mean you're really uh... well," Steve takes a moment to really look at Eddie and he weirdly feels his cheeks heat up, "You've got really nice eyes, and hair of course, and nice... lips."

Eddie squirms a bit in his seat and glances away. "You don't have to take pity on me, Harrington."

"I'm not!" Steve insists a little louder than he intends to. He lowers his voice and repeats, "I'm not. I'm just stating the facts. You're a really attractive guy. Plus, you're really smart and creative, and you can play the guitar well which I'm sure other guys dig, and you're also uhh really funny and kind-"

"Please stop, there's only so many words of affirmation I can receive in a day before I combust," Eddie jokes but there's a light flush on his face.

Steve holds his hands up and says, "I'm just saying you're a catch. Anyone who doesn't see that isn't good enough for you anyways."

Eddie narrows his eyes at Steve for a moment then glances over his shoulder. "So, uh, doesn't look like our dates are here yet."

Steve glances around and notices no one is sitting alone and no one else has walked in. Weird.

A waiter walks their way and takes their drink orders and gives them a few more minutes to look over the menu. As soon as he's out of earshot, Steve asks Eddie, "Do you think it's rude to put in an order when they're not here?"

Eddie glances around and his eyes settle on the wall. Steve looks over and notices the clock. "If they're not here in the next ten minutes which is fifteen minutes after the date start time, then we can order," Eddie states.

Steve smiles but suddenly his stomach makes an obnoxious growling noise. Eddie's eyes widen. "We can make that five minutes if you'll last that long."

"I can last ten minutes it's alright," Steve replies.

Two minutes later, Steve is already giving in, "Okay, what if we just ordered when the waiter comes back?"

Eddie smiles at him for the first time that evening. "You're weak, Harrington," he jokes.

"Hey, I was strong enough to lug your body around."

"If only I was conscious for that."

Before Steve can think of a response their lovely waiter interrupts them and asks for their order. Steve ends up ordering the same thing as Eddie which has Eddie scoffing, "I thought you thought my taste in food was bad."

"If putting strawberry jelly on a turkey sandwich is your idea of food, then I stand by what I said."

"I'm going to make you try it one day," Eddie says with a wide smile.

Steve leans forwards. "Is that a threat?"

"If you want it to be," Eddie says with a wink.

Steve laughs and has the sudden thought that he really doesn't want his or Eddie's dates to show up. He just wants Eddie to himself.

What?

"What, are you traumatized by the thought of it or something?" Eddie asks after Steve has gone silent.

Steve looks up and really takes in Eddie again. You're a catch. Anyone who doesn't see that isn't good enough for you anyways.

Oh shit.

Steve glances towards the door and outside and doesn't see any cars approaching. He looks back to Eddie and says, "If our dates don't show up in the next five minutes, what if we agreed to be each other's date."

Eddie looks at him for a moment with narrowed eyes. "As in... we're just like... hanging out or...?"

Steve takes a deep breath and says, "A real date."

Eddie's eyes widen and he looks around. "The kids didn't put you up to this, did they?"

"No, Eddie, I- I would really like to go on a real date with you."

Eddie stares at him again then asks, "You swear that this isn't a joke?"

"On Dustin's mother," Steve jokes then holds out his pinky.

"You know how much a pinky promise means to me."

"I know, it's a promise that can never be broken," Steve says.

Eddie hesitates then wraps his pinky around Steve's. "I hope our dates don't show up then," Eddie says with a big smile.

"Me neither," Steve agrees.

-:-:-:-:-:-

"I can't believe it's working!" Robin excitedly shouts from the passenger seat of Nancy's car.

"Me either," Nancy agrees as she watches Eddie rant while flailing his hands and Steve laughs. After a moment, Steve rests his hand over one of Eddie's and gives it a squeeze. Eddie flushes enough that Robin and Nancy can notice from the slight distance.

"Do you think they're going to kill us when they see us?" Robin asks.

Nancy scoffs, "No, they'll probably be over the moon thanking us. I'm just surprised that they agreed to go along with the date without thinking we were pranking them or something."

"Maybe the dinguses just finally sucked it up and admitted they liked each other when they figured out the plan," Robin says with a shrug as she watches the two get up. "And it looks like it's our time to leave."

Nancy shakes her head and looks at Robin. "Wouldn't that draw more attention to us though? We should just let them go first while they're so absorbed in each other's company."

"That's a good ide-" Robin stops as she looks back at the pair. "They've spotted us. Shit."

"Like I said, they're probably going to thank us," Nancy says, praying she's right. She rolls down the window as they approach.

Steve waves with a big smile. "Hey! We thought it was you, but we just wanted to let you know that your dates for us stood us up, but that's okay. Great really because Eddie and I decided you know..."

"I finally confessed that I've been pining after him," Eddie says nearly bouncing up and down.

Steve turns to look at him. "Wait, the person you said was out of your league, that was me you were talking about me earlier?"

"Steve, I thought you realized that after I told you I've had a crush on you for years now."

"Oh. Hey, I'm not out of your league at all, if anything you're out of my..." Steve trails off and seems to realize Robin and Nancy are still there, "Well, we're going to make up for lost time, but it was good seeing you. Thank you for attempting to set us up!"

Eddie and Steve wave as they leave, laughing about something moments later.

"Oh my god, did they just...."

"Holy shit, do they really think..."

Robin and Nancy look at each other and nod. "Dingues," they agree.

They look back as Steve and Eddie seem to argue about what car to take back and Robin sighs, "They'll eventually realize, right?"

"I doubt it," Nancy says.

Steve and Eddie walk towards their own cars seeming to realize that they don't have to drive together. "Gosh, they were made for each other."

It's years down the line when Steve and Eddie are telling the story of their first date when Nancy and Robin finally get fed up and tell the truth, but Steve and Eddie still don't believe them. Once a dingus, always a dingus.

#steddie #steddieweek2023 #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie ficlet #stranger things #robin buckley #nancy wheeler #ronance background #dinguses to lovers

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m0r1bund · 10 months

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Read the FAQ Zine ▶

I put the zine I made last year on my website. It took me a full year to find a permanent home for it, because I have the brainweird that makes the focus bad, and I’ve been consistently busy since last year. But hey, better late than never.

This project was inspired by the work of Potawatomi botanist Robin Wall Kimmerer. During an interview with On Being, Kimmerer relates the story of a certain question that she asks her students:

“In talking with my environment students, they wholeheartedly agree that they love the earth. But when I ask them the question of “Does the earth love you back?” there’s a great deal of hesitation and reluctance and eyes cast down, like, oh, gosh, I don’t know. Are we even allowed to talk about that? That would mean that the earth had agency and that I was not an anonymous little blip on the landscape, that I was known by my home place.

So it’s a very challenging notion, but I bring it to the garden and think about the way that when we, as human people, demonstrate our love for one another, it is in ways that I find very much analogous to the way that the earth takes care of us, is when we love somebody, we put their wellbeing at the top of a list and we want to feed them well. We want to nurture them. We want to teach them. We want to bring beauty into their lives. We want to make them comfortable and safe and healthy. That’s how I demonstrate love, in part, to my family, and that’s just what I feel in the garden [laughs], as the earth loves us back in beans and corn and strawberries. Food could taste bad. It could be bland and boring, but it isn’t. There are these wonderful gifts that the plant beings, to my mind, have shared with us. And it’s a really liberating idea to think that the earth could love us back, but it also opens the notion of reciprocity that with that love and regard from the earth comes a real deep responsibility.”

- “The Intelligence of Plants,” with Robin Wall Kimmerer and Krista Tippett

I posed Kimmerer’s question to some of my online circles. Their responses are recorded in this zine, accompanied by the work of many photographers, and my own art.

I am many of thoughts and short of words right now, just as I was a year ago. Mostly I’m tremendously touched and grateful for those who participated. You have put words to environmental grief that I often struggle to articulate, and affirmed my belief that we all hold poetry inside of us—we just need the time and space to express it.

#love this desert

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nyctophiliq · 3 months

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FREE PALESTINE, FROM THE RIVER TO THE SEA !

i have refrained from making this post, both for the reason of not wanting to be ridiculed as a "know it all" and because i thought people in this day and age, where we have the internet to do almost the impossible would conclude to themselves that helping is now not an impossible thing.

but here we are.

i feel like a lot of you out there, who might not have a following, or has a big following but doesn’t post has completely ignore the important aspects of the internet that they claim to be using.

i sense that none of you above want to acknowledge that there is a world outside of your tumblr, because why would you? the sole purpose of you coming here was to get away from the real life around you, to have something to ground yourself with instead of having to face the dark, gruesome troubles that you are having but all i see is hiding, not dealing. now that that real life is with you on your dashboard, talking about people dying of bombs, slaughter, hunger, and dehydration is taking away the sense of escape that you came here to seek. and by no means i am defending you, silent creatures, i am dragging you by the collar of your shirt through the mud for your inhumane actions.

it shows how some of you cherish life, wanting it to be as perfect as possible- going to therapists to deal with your trauma, going to the store to not starve, enjoying the police and military of a secure country that has fallen into your hand by the right of your birth. you say you are depressed and not well, voice your concerns about how some people neglect to even think about your mental health because the person dismissing your problems could be only a horrible person in turn.

how does it not hurt to see other people in pain, being hurt on purpose and not thing that “i should maybe do something, i wouldn’t wanna be in the place they are, wouldn’t wanna be going through what they are”. to see you holler about your right to a better life, a good mental health is outragious. you believe in your right to have that why can’t you believe that other people deserve it too?

how can you go a day without talking about, or at least acknowledging in your own words that what you have gone through- all that trauma, that abuse, being cut up, and spit at- can’t be as bad or twice as bad for other people? of course we can talk about our problems, we can say that we are struggling but we have to at least have the decency to say that we are not the only ones.

telling yourself that someone else is in bigger trouble than you won’t help you, ignoring your pain for somebody else’s doesn’t make yours go away but it can make you realize that somehow there has to be a way through it- going to a therapist to work on your issues for example. a lot of you don’t understand that the life you have, the life you love and cherish despite how horrible it might have been before others want to have it too? the relief of being able to say “shit happened, but i got through it”, to see the light at the end of the tunnel, to have a family, friends, siblings, and people around them, to have their own religion, background, city of birth that brings them closer as a community, to have somewhere to belong.

our world has been so easy, we don’t have to go to war to help, we don’t have to spend money to help- we only need our voice, that simple click, and the reblog to let others out there know that this is not okay and that people are fighting for them, to have them hope for another day, to have them endure for a brighter future.

in this day and age we have become so pleasantly blissed by the “bystander affect”, letting everything slip by because “hells, it’s easier to be like this than actually do something”. it shows how many of you are fighting, how many of you accepted defeat, how many of you still have hope.

and i mean all offense.

FREE PALESTINE, FROM THE RIVER TO THE SEA !

#🍃 — moss rambles !

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jeremywhitley · 1 year

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Here we are, six weeks later...

HEY!

So, in case you haven’t heard, our six week run on Love Unlimited following Gwenpool wrapped up today and...

and as much as I did write all of this and it is extremely important to me, I feel I really need to make sure you all know that this didn’t start with me.

To be completely accurate, it started with Chris Hastings and crew for creating such an amazing and nuanced character out of what could have only ever been a high concept and a cover gag. Not that the cover gag wasn’t good, but the statue that is revealed from that piece of marble over the course of The Unbelievable Gwenpool is truly astonishing.

Then, of course, there’s you. An audience of fans with an incredible love and passion for a character who also saw a lot of the quirks and experiences that we as people on the asexual spectrum experience and talked about it online.

Which is where the incredible @alannawrites, my editor, comes in. Alanna had been looking for an opportunity to tell a story about being ace in Marvel comics. We had kind of skimmed around the edges during Unstoppable Wasp, but ultimately being a character who owed so much to a movie franchise, there were a lot of nerves there. Gwen was not only a great opportunity to tell a story of a person hyper aware that they are in a story struggling with the tropes that affect their actual life, it was a chance to bring about this story for a character a lot of the fandom already saw as ace. Obviously, not everybody, but still a lot.

So when editorial game to okay to tell this story, Alanna reached out to me - somebody she’d worked with but also specifically had just had their own little coming out as demisexual a little while back. I was thrilled by the idea and before long we brought on @bailiesartblog and Kelly and had a full creative team of people on the ace spectrum. This is easily the first time that’s ever been a thought.

For me it was important that it not just be a story of coming out, but that it be a Gwenpool story. A story of knowing how stories work, what tropes you can play with, trying to direct the story where you think it should go, and ultimately finding that the story just won’t comply. And for people who have experienced being on the ace spectrum or a lot of other marginalized genders and sexualities - that’s a very familiar problem.

Ultimately, it’s different from a lot of other Gwenpool stories because it’s not the world around her. She has 2-3 real working possibilities for romantic relationships in this story and one that is about to become a fully adult sexual relationship with a woman whom she really loves before it skips the tracks. Ultimately, it’s not a thing from the 616 that’s holding her back, it’s a thing she brought with her from the real world - her sexuality - and no matter how worthy you are, you can’t beat that with a hammer.

There’ll be lots of time to talk about this later, but along with her actually saying the words and waving the flags above, one of the sequences that’s most important to me is the opening sequence of issue 6

This is the problem sometimes with being story tellers. When you think you know the story, realizing you’re not who you thought you are can feel like maybe you’re a villain. Maybe you’re a monster. Maybe you don’t belong here.

Some people on the internet seem to have decided to misinterpret this sequence as us comparing being asexual to being a monster, when very clearly that’s Gwen doing it. I’m just going to assume they’ve never had the experience of struggling to understand themselves and where they fit. Sounds fake, but whatever.

I love this FF story. I love Ben Grimm. I love this cover and that was why I gave my art team the truly unenviable task of recreating it. Like, I don’t know if you’ve been there, but I certainly have and I’d wager that most of us have at some point.

But perhaps the most important image in this scene is the next one:

Julie sees her friend, her girlfriend, the person that she cares about spiraling and literally yoinks her right out of the frame.

And sits her down and talks to her about it. And listens to her about it. And when she starts asking questions that Julie can’t answer, she finds Gwen somebody who can.

And that is an incredible gift to give to someone. And yeah, maybe we should all do that for each other, but man is it hard. Julie for one is in a multi-month relationship with this girl that just told her that not only was she lying about being ready to have sex with her, but that she didn’t actually like kissing her and has been faking enjoying some aspects of their relationship. You wanna think you would still be there for this person, but that’s a lot to handle and it takes a lot to be the person Julie is in this moment. But, personally, I love Julie Power and I think she’s the kinda person to stick with it.

And ultimately I think this scene is so important to me because I hope this book is our opportunity to be Julie Power to somebody reading this story. I hope someone who is going through a hard time or struggling with how to define themselves will find this story and it can be the hands that pull them out of the cover of Fantastic Four 51 when they need it. Maybe that’s a lot to hope for a comic, but it’s really the ambition I think the team went into this comic with. We want to tell a story about an aroace character coming to terms with who they are and learning to accept and be comfortable with it, but ultimately we hope this story gets to someone out there when they need it and makes the difference.

Well, this has gone really long and I’m sure there will be other things I wanna say about it later, but until then take care of yourselves and hopefully you’ll get the chance to be someone’s Julie Power.

P.S. - Julie, you’re amazing and I’m sure we will find a romance for you that works out eventually. Sorry that we’ve collectively now put you through three breakups.

#gwenpool #julie power #comics #marvel #power pack #deadpool #lgbtqia comics #asexuality #lgbtqia+#love unlimited #jeremy whitley

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la-pheacienne · 1 month

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So let me get this straight.

If I believe that a particular character should be ruler/would be a good ruler/would have been a good ruler/deserves to be ruler/will probably end up being ruler/was unfairly deprived of their rulership, be it dany, or jon, or rhaenyra or rhaegar or arya or bran or stannis the mannis (ew) or my neighbour or your mother or whomever the hell you want them to be, I am classist. And royalist. And conservative. And going against the themes of asoiaf. Because no one can fix westeros, because there are no good rulers/there can be no good rulers/rulership is inherently bad/inherently moraly wrong/ the throne is doomed to be destroyed because it is the root of all evil-

But somehow if you believe that one particular character, coincidentally your fave, will probably be a ruler (queen in the north or in any other position of FEUDAL power- ruling is not just reserved to the iron throne btw), or that she should be a ruler or that she would be a good ruler, you are somehow not classist or royalist or conservative.

Can somebody tell me why that is? What is the justification behind your speculation in the first place? Why will she/why should she be a ruler? Because she deserves it? Because she has been through so much? Because she's strong and powerful and resilient? Okay? So, the only meaningful difference between your take and my take is that I actually (naively!) have faith in the possibility that a character that has been established again and again as a progressive and radical leader could possibly contribute to a meaningful radical collective change in the world while you just consider rulership as a prize, as a reward for individual struggle? And somehow that makes me more conservative? That makes me a classist? Besties, it is literally the other way round.

I don't even hate that character. I am pretty neutral towards her, I would even say that I am sympathetic towards her. And I actually believe she will end up in a position of power (not queen in the north but a position of power nonetheless). Yes, in a position of feudal power, that's what I mean, that's the only real power any character could ever have in a book series that is set in a pseudomedieval world. But you need to be very careful before you start throwing around classism and royalism and conservatism accusations at people for actively engaging with a pseudomedieval fantasy (fantasy!!) book series whose entire foundation is the question "what is a good leader?", "what makes a good leader?", "how does someone become a good leader?", "how could this system become slightly better?", "what are the powers that stop any real progress? how can these powers be defeated?" The answers to these questions in asoiaf are not easy or automatic. But they exist. All of these questions have answers in the text. Concrete, solid answers, whether you like it or not. Believing in the truth of those answers simply means we engage with the themes of the (fictional!) story. It simply makes us fans of the text. It does not make us stupid or naive, and it definitely does not make us conservative.

There is nothing that I despise more in this fandom than the double standard of "oh you are so lame if you actually believe someone could/will be a good ruler, nobody should be king or queen, meanwhile let's talk about my fave's ruling arc" (asoiaf version), or "oh you are so lame if you actually believe a particular character should have been ruler and not the other, that makes you a classist and we're not, all sides are bad because monarchy, meanwhile let's dedicate 99,9% of our posts explaining why one side is wrong. One specific side. Entirely coincidentally, since we do not take sides" (fire and blood version).

The meaningful difference between these two fandom "factions" is that one is honest and openly engages with the themes of the story in an organic and positive and hopeful way, while the other is just this annoying group of college kids repeating the same, holier-than-thou, pseudo-intellectual takes ad infinitum to appear smarter than anyone else while carefully concealing their obvious bias.

#aspa rambles #asoiaf #valyrianscrolls #daenerys targaryen #rhaenyra targaryen #jon snow #arya stark #fire and blood #rant

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shutupineedtothink · 12 days

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Ok so my friend and I just recorded 4 HOURS of raw audio breaking down the OUAT pilot, season 1 finale, and discussing the show in general for our new podcast where we make each other watch episodes of our favorite shows and talk about them together. It’s exactly as fun as you would imagine. :)

But even after all that, I still have things I forgot to say or didn’t get to. So here’s a few of them:

1. “Evil” as addiction: the OUAT writers treat the concept of being evil like addiction/substance abuse which is really interesting and kind of a bold choice for a 2011 show about fairytales. Then within that structure they show basically the two choices you have when facing addiction: choose not to use and become a better, healed version of yourself (Regina) or keep using and stay stuck in your patterns and hurt everyone you love forever (Rumple). As a child of an alcoholic who has chosen the latter, I loved watching Regina’s journey in this context and while she stumbles a lot, she keeps striving to be good even though she gets the short end of the stick most of the time. And her North Star is always Henry, which I think is important to show that you don’t just change because you feel like it, there usually has to be the threat of something worse happening if you don’t change (in this case, losing Henry physically and emotionally).

2. Regina Mills might be the most psychologically complex and interesting character on prime time tv in the 2010s? Period??

3. I rambled a good bit in the podcast about the costumes and color symbolism but here’s a bit more for you: Once Regina is on team heroes she often wears some kind of red top (the hero’s color) with a black jacket/coat over it showing that she’s changed on the inside but she still *looks* like the evil queen on the outside and can now use that persona/power to her advantage instead of being consumed by it. By the end of S5 this contrasts with Emma who wears her signature red jacket but a black/white/gray sweater underneath, showing that she’s a little more of a mix of good and evil these days post-dark one. In a color sense, they’re almost mirror images of each other at this point, and it’s really cool.

4. I know a lot of people are really salty about how Emma’s light kind of dims toward S4, 5, 6, and I’m right there with you. Her character feels flatter, and honestly kind of depressed. Now idk if this was a real choice on the writers’/JMo’s part, if she was going through some stuff at this time and it just showed up in the character, or what. That said, it does track for me in a way, especially post-dark one. She should be kind of thrown off by everything that’s happened! She should be changed! I just wish they had done something with it instead of pretending it was normal. If Regina’s struggle with evil is analogous to addiction, why can’t Emma’s struggle with evil be analogous to depression? It would have been an interesting take. Somebody write the fic.

I could keep going but I’ll stop here for now. Stay tuned for the podcast!

#OUAT #Regina mills #Emma swan #swan queen #Henry mills #once upon a time #analysis

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bluewasthecolor · 1 year

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This Is What It Feels Like

Word Count: 5330

Warnings: Smidges of angst.

A/N: The anons who requested that I work on this get a special shoutout because Gracie is superior. Also this song was written about a friendship but I am writing about a relationship because art is up for interpretation (and I like writing about relationships)! I'm really proud of how this turned out, so I hope you like it! Let me know what else you'd like to see from me. I've been pretty much exclusively working on this one for the past few days, but I'm planning to work on some requests/ficlets now so expect to see more uploads from me in the next few days.

The city's gettin' loud

If I choke, it's only 'cause I'm scared to be alone

“You coming out with us tonight?” You look up from your phone to see Leah standing over you.

“Pardon?”

“We’re going out to have some team bonding time–just going to dinner, having a couple drinks, nothing major. You should come.” “Oh, um, I think I have plans tonight, but thanks for the invite.” You smile awkwardly and walk out of the changing room, leaving Leah standing alone.

On the drive home, as you cook yourself dinner in your flat, and as you eat alone, you can’t stop thinking about your interaction with Leah. You’re not sure why you said no to her invitation. You really don’t have anything to do–how could you? You’ve only been in London for a month and all of your time has been spent with the team so they’re your only real opportunity for social interaction. You pray that Leah doesn’t think about this, doesn’t realize you were lying. It’s not that you don’t want to get to know them, you truly do, it’s just that all of this feels a bit much right now. You’ve always been pretty shy and that makes it hard to get close to anyone. It took you almost a year after being drafted to OL Reign before you finally settled in, so it’s not much of a surprise that you’re still having difficulty making connections. This was supposed to be different though. This isn’t how it was supposed to go. Moving to London was supposed to help you, was supposed to be an escape from all the noise. Instead, here you are panicking just as you have so many times before. You feel as though you’re back in Seattle, back in that godforsaken apartment, trying not to drown. It’s not all that different you suppose, then and now. You were alone then and you’re alone now. Except now you’re in London halfway across the world from everyone you love. You feel naive that you thought this would help you, that you thought transferring to Arsenal was the right choice. Instead of being able to call somebody to come over when it all gets to be too much, you’re left struggling through on your own. This must have been a mistake.

After dinner you’re sitting in your living room when your musings are interrupted by the ring of the doorbell. Confused about who could be at your place–about who even knows where you live–you look through the peephole to see Leah standing on the other side. Your breath catches in your throat. What is she doing here? You press your back into the door, reminding yourself to breathe. She’s one of your teammates, not some random stranger. It’s going to be okay. With that, you swing open the door. Leah looks up as you do so, smiling when she sees you.

“Hey Y/N. I hope I’m not interrupting anything.” “No, no not at all. I thought you were going out with the girls tonight?” “Well, I was, but then I talked to you.” A smirk is playing at her lips and you’re not quite sure what to make of it. “You said you had ‘plans’ but then I realized the likelihood of you knowing anyone in London besides the team is very very slim. So, I thought I’d come over.” She holds up her hand and the bottle occupying it. “I brought wine. Can I come in?”

Taken aback by her assertiveness, you step aside allowing her to enter. You’re still confused about what’s going on, but you follow her into your kitchen anyway, determined not to make things awkward. She grabs two wine glasses off the shelf, pouring each glass half full and handing one to you. You take it, grateful to have something to do with your hands.

“Would you like to sit?” You tilt your head towards the couch, and Leah nods. You move to sit next to one another and she looks at you. Like, really looks at you. The prolonged eye contact makes you shift uncomfortably, looking away after a few seconds.

“So. Y/N.” Leah’s voice is soft, comforting. “Truth be told I didn’t just come here to drink wine.”

You look back up, a question in your eyes.

“I wanted to check in on you. You never come out with us, barely interact with the team besides to talk about football. Did we do something? Are you just not interested in getting to know us?”

“Ah, so this isn’t just a friendly visit. You’ve been sent here on a spy mission. Get me to confess all my secrets, report back, right?” You’re half teasing, but apparently you’ve struck a nerve.

“No!” Leah is quick to deny, but even quicker to backtrack. “Okay so maybe Caitlin mentioned that I should come over and see if I could get you to crack, but it’s just because we want to know you. And I was already thinking of asking you to do something one on one.” The last part of her confession takes you off guard, but you compose yourself quickly.

“Alright. You get three questions. Go.” You’re not used to people being this honest with you, so you decide to give her something in return.

“Why don’t you ever spend time with us outside of training?” Her first question is as expected, and you begin to give your routine answer.

“I’m just really shy. I never really get to know people right away.” Her eyes narrow at your response, and you can tell she doesn’t fully buy your answer.

“Be more specific.” “This is gonna count as one of your questions, you know.”

“Be. More. Specific.”

“It’s been like this since I was little, I think. My mom tells me my teachers would always send home notes saying that I was smart but needed to talk more in class. As I grew up it just kind of stayed the same way. I think I’m scared that if I let people in, if I get to know them, I’ll just end up getting hurt. If I never make an effort I never have to be let down or worry that someone doesn’t want to be around me.” You stare at your hands as you say this, embarrassed to look up at her. Leah is silent for a moment and you think you’ve scared her off, shared too much, but then her hands are on top of yours.

“You don’t have to be scared with us. I know that’s a hard thing to believe, but you’ll never know unless you just trust us, unless you try. Give us a chance. Or, y’know, at least give me a chance, I’m not total rubbish.” She adds a cheeky wink with that last detail that makes you question whether or not she’s flirting with you.

“I…I can give you a chance. I’m not so sure about everyone else. I’m not so good in a group setting.” Leah nods to herself. “And by the way you have one more question left.”

“Alright, how about this: will you go on a date with me?”

“I–uh–what?” You sputter out, not expecting the blonde to be quite so forward.

“Go out with me. We’ll get to know one another, you can see that I genuinely want to know you, and then maybe you can work towards getting to know the rest of the girls.”

“Why can’t we just get to know each other as friends?” You ask, wary of her motives. “Because you’re insanely gorgeous and I’m pretty sure if we started hanging out as friends it would quickly turn into something more. Why not just skip to the fun part?” She has a point, you admit to yourself. You’re definitely guilty of sneaking glances when you think she’s not looking, admiring her beauty from afar.

“Okay, sure.” You can’t help but smile as you agree. “Let’s go on a date.” Leah squeals, actually squeals, and launches herself at you for a hug.

“How’s this Thursday? Pick you up at six?”

Two Weeks Later

I would do whatever you wanted

We don't have to leave the apartment

You’ve been going out with Leah for two weeks and it’s good. Waking up in the morning and realizing you have an hour before your alarm goes off, finding the perfect pair of jeans, heart stoppingly good. It’s easy with Leah, unlike many of your past relationships. You don’t feel like you’re constantly second guessing yourself or like you need to be on when you’re with her, you can just be. She doesn’t play games with you, she’s straightforward and doesn’t beat around the bush. It also doesn’t hurt that she’s good in bed. On the rare occasions that she lets you take control, on her back completely at your mercy, you feel powerful and in control. When she’s on top of you, coaxing orgasm after mind-blowing orgasm from your body, you lose yourself in the way she makes you feel. The way she takes you apart oh so slowly and–

“...Y/N?” Leah’s voice snaps you out of your daydreaming as she taps on your forehead. “Hello, is anyone home?”

The two of you are lying in her bed, spending one of your rare days off with one another. The defender has her back pressed against the headboard and you are settled between her thighs, head resting on her chest. “Sorry, sorry. What’s up?”

“I was asking what you wanted to do for dinner tonight.” “Oh, I don’t care. You pick.”

“Well…” Leah pauses, looking down at you with careful concern in her eyes. “Beth and Viv are having a thing tonight. They invited us. We could go to that.”

“I’m not so sure Leah. I don’t think I’m ready.” You look up at her guiltily, feeling bad that you’re preventing her from seeing her friends. “You should go though. I can just head back to my place for the night.”

“What? No. I want to hang out with you, I just thought it might be time to get to know the girls. It’s okay if you’re not ready though.”

“You don’t want to go?” “I didn’t say that. I said I want to spend time with you.”

“I still think you should go.” This conversation was slowly starting to feel more and more like a fight.

“What’s this about, Y/N? Do you not want to spend time with me?” Leah’s voice is cold now.

“Don’t turn this on me, I-you know what? I think I should just go home. I’ll see you at training tomorrow.” You push yourself off the bed, stalking to gather your things.

“What the hell, Y/N? Is this how you deal with things? You can’t just up and leave when shit gets hard. Come sit down and talk to me.” You look up to see that Leah has followed you out of the bedroom and is sitting on the couch. You shuffle over, perching on the edge of the sofa.

“Well?” Your voice is short. “I don’t really have much else to say, so it’s your turn to talk.”

“I guess I’m just a bit confused. Why are you so insistent that I do this? Are you just trying to get rid of me?” Leah’s voice is still cold but a bit of insecurity creeps through as well, her voice breaking just a little.

“No! I just…” Tears begin to well in your eyes before you can get the full sentence out. Taking a deep breath, you try again. “I don’t want you to resent me. Or feel like I’m keeping you from your friends.” “Oh, Y/N.” Leah murmurs, her voice soft now. “I could never resent you, baby.” “I just…we never do anything with anyone else. It’s not much of a relationship. I don’t want you to get bored of me” You stare intensely at your lap, not fully buying her response.

“Hey. Look at me.” The blonde tilts your chin up with her finger, forcing eye contact. “I am happy to do absolutely anything with you. It doesn’t have to be with other people. Hell, we could never leave this flat again and I wouldn’t complain. I never ever want you to question this. We’ve just gotta communicate, yeah?” She pulls you into her side as she says this, rubbing her hand up and down your arm.

“Yeah. Yeah you’re right.” You let yourself lean into the Brit. “And I want you to know that I do want to get to know the girls, I just don’t think I’m ready yet.”

“Just let me know when you are, darling, and I’ll set it up.” With that, Leah presses a kiss into the crown of your head. “Where’d we land on dinner by the way?”

“Well you’re certainly not cooking so would you rather have me cook or should we order takeout?” Your cheeky response results in Leah pushing you so that you are now on your back and she is hovering above you, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

She looks as though she’s about to kiss you, she even leans in as though that is what’s going to happen, but then her hands are on your sides and she’s tickling you. You squeal, trying to squirm away from her but she has you pinned to the couch. You eventually manage to roll off the couch and dash off, using your knee to push Leah off of you. She follows close behind, wrapping her arms around your waist and lifting you off your feet. As you laugh breathlessly she carries you towards her bedroom, tossing you onto the bed a dark look coming over her eyes.

Afterwards, the two of you lay intertwined, recuperating from taking one another to pieces. You reach up to stroke her hair, content in the small moment you were sharing. It was in that moment that you knew.

“I’m ready to get to know everyone now.” You murmur softly, looking up at Leah to see her reaction. She’s hesitant at first, not wanting to push you.

“Really? You’re sure?” You nod, smiling up at her. “Is this because of the sex? Like, y’know, I’m just so good that you’re super confident now?”

“No you asshole!” You sit up, smacking Leah lightly on the chest. “I just…I don’t know. You make me feel so safe and you obviously trust the girls, so I have no reason to be scared I don’t think.”

Leah presses a kiss to your cheek, pulling you closer.

“I’ll set it up.”

That Weekend

We stayed a couple hours

Our clothes matched enough to throw me off a bit

“You’re kidding.” Leah snorts as you open the door to your apartment. You stare back, unsure of what to say. The two of you have accidentally dressed in what are basically matching outfits: white tank top, black pants, white sneakers.

“Goddamnit,” You groan, turning to head back into your place. “I’m gonna go change. They’ll think I’m weird if we show up in matching outfits.”

“We’re late enough as it is, it’ll be fine.” She says, a hand reaching out to wrap around your wrist. “Let’s go, Y/L/N!”

As Leah parks the car in Viv and Beth’s driveway, you try to focus on your breathing. It’s just a dinner. A dinner with your teammates who, Leah has assured you endlessly, are excited to get to know you. Still, you can’t help but worry. What if you mess something up? What if they don’t like you and it changes how Leah sees you? What if, what if, what if. The possibilities are never ending. Leah, having finished parking, can clearly see that you’re overthinking things.

“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours, baby?” She reaches over the center console to rest her hand comfortingly on top of yours.

“I dunno, just nervous I guess.”

“There’s nothing to be nervous about, they’re gonna love you, I promise. Just be yourself.” She lifts your hand to her lips, pressing a kiss on each finger. She then gets out of the car, walking around to open your door.

“Shall we?” She asks, extending her arm.

You grab it, stepping out of the car slowly. You let her lead you to the door and she squeezes your hand twice as she knocks. Leaning over to you, she whispers:

“If it gets to be too much, tell me. We can go whenever you want.” Grateful for her concern, you squeeze back.

At that moment, the door swings open.

“Leah! Y/N! Come on in!” Beth is smiling brightly at the two of you as she steps aside to let you enter. “Everyone’s just chilling in the kitchen, follow me.”

The blonde leads the two of you further into the house, stopping in the kitchen. Viv is behind the counter cooking with Caitlin as her sous chef, while Lia, Katie, and Ruesha are perched at the counter observing. They’re all laughing at something Ruesha said, and look up when you walk in. Caitlin is the first to speak, greeting you warmly.

“Hey guys, good to see you!” The rest of the girls follow suit, echoing greetings at you. Beth passes you each a glass of wine and gestures to you to take a seat at the counter.

“Um…did you guys mean to dress alike?” Katie asks, hiding a smirk. You blush, and look at Leah.

“Maybe we did, maybe we didn’t. What’s it to you, McCabe?” She bites back, a grin on her face.

You perch next to Leah, your hand finding hers under the counter. As you chat more with each girl you can feel yourself relaxing bit by bit. They’re all incredibly kind and clearly do want to know you.

“Viv, whatever you’re cooking smells fantastic.” You compliment the Dutch woman, who smiles as you say this. “Can I help at all? I’m not too bad in the kitchen.”

“That would be great actually! Cait’s a great help but many hands make light work. Do you think you could make a salad?” Viv directs you, gesturing to the empty salad bowl. “Everything you need should either be in the fridge or on the spice rack and if you’d like an apron they’re in the first drawer to the right of the dishwasher.”

You stand from your spot behind the counter and tie an apron around your waist.

“Oh my God, Y/N you have to make that one kale caesar salad with the dressing. It’s the best salad you’ll ever have, I swear.” Leah directs the last part to the rest of the room, all of whom look intrigued.

“Okay then! One kale caesar salad coming up!”

You set to work, gathering your ingredients for both the salad and the dressing. Viv and Caitlin work next to you, the three of you in perfect sync as you move around the kitchen.

“Leah! Come sit in the living room with us,” Katie’s voice drifts into the kitchen, and you look up to see that she, Ruesha, Beth, and Lia have all moved into the next room. Only Leah remains at the counter, watching your every move. Now, she looks at you with a clear question in her eyes.

“Go, I’m good.” You smile reassuringly, waving your wine glass towards the next room. She returns the smile and turns to go.

“So. Y/N.” As soon as Leah’s left the room, you hear Caitlin’s voice behind you. “Now that Leah’s out of the way, Viv and I want to get to know you some more.”

You spin to see the two women smiling mischievously at you, clueing you into the fact that this was somehow planned.

“Alright, what do you want to know?” You respond, surprising even yourself with your willingness to be open. Something about Viv and Caitlin just makes you feel at ease.

“What was it like to play in Seattle?” Viv jumps at the chance to ask a question just as Caitlin is opening her mouth.

“I mean, it was amazing, I won’t lie to you. I grew up in Seattle so it was unbelievable to get to play for my home club, and the culture of the team is insane. They’re absolutely still my family.”

“So why’d you leave?” It’s Caitlin this time asking the question. “Sorry if that sounds rude I just mean if it was so perfect something must have happened, right?” “Yes and no. I think part of it was that I felt like I wasn’t progressing much as a player and I knew my contract was up at the end of the season so it seemed like the right time for a change. I think if I had been in a different headspace I might have tried to stay at OL Reign, but I was struggling a lot so it just wasn’t the right time for me to be there. I’d love to go back someday though.” You answer her question with complete honesty, already feeling as though you can trust the two women standing before you.

Apparently satisfied with your answers, the two women go back to working in silence. You smile to yourself as you mix the salad dressing. It appears as though you’ve made your first friends at Arsenal. It feels good to have someone other than Leah in your corner. While she’s amazing, there’s something to be said about the strength of friendship. Just as you’re thinking of her, the blonde sneaks up behind you and wraps her arms around your waist, burying her head into your neck. You chuckle, leaning back slightly so that your weight is resting on her body.

“Hey pretty girl.” She murmurs, the words vibrating against your neck. You shift your head slightly away from her, a suggestion that she should take advantage of the extra space. Thankfully, Leah takes the hint. She presses subtle kisses against your neck, and you can feel that she’s smiling as she does so. The moment is cut short all too soon, however, by Caitlin clapping her hands.

“Dinner’s ready I think!” The Aussie announces. “Y/N, Leah, stop your PDA and come eat.” Blushing, you separate from Leah and carry the salad bowl into the dining room. The brit is close on your heels, snagging the seat next to yours and placing her hand on your thigh as soon as she sits down. You lean over, beckoning Leah closer.

“Someone’s feeling a bit clingy tonight, huh, darling?” You whisper, cupping your hands around her ear. “And I thought I would be the one stuck to you all night.”

Leah smirks at your comment, now leaning into your ear.

“I can’t help it, love. I can’t wait to get my hands on you later.” Her voice is low and rough, suddenly full of desire.

Her words elicit a small gasp from your lips, and you look at her purposefully. This is not the time nor the place for such a display but you’re also not too upset about it. You know she won’t push you farther than is comfortable and definitely won’t do anything that will embarrass you, so you’re content to let her tease you a bit. As the rest of your teammates sit down, you notice how easy this feels. You aren’t second guessing everything you say and you’re able to chat easily with each of the women sitting at the table. You sit with them for what is likely another two or three hours but feels like thirty minutes, talking and laughing with one another. Eventually, Leah is yawning next to you, sleepy from the amount of wine she’s had, so you decide it’s time to head home.

“Are you sure you’re alright to drive?” Viv asks with concern as everyone gathers by the front door getting ready to leave. “You’re more than welcome to stay the night.” “I only had one glass while I was cooking and that was ages ago. We’ll be alright, thanks so much Viv. Dinner was lovely” You smile warmly at the Dutch woman and pull her into a hug. You make the rounds to all the other girls, wishing them good night. When you reach Caitlin you grin as you hug her.

“Let’s do lunch soon, yeah?” You ask as you pull away.

“Absolutely. See you at training, mate.”

With that, you and Leah head to the car. As you’re pulling out of the driveway Leah looks at you, eyelids heavy with sleep.

“Thank you for coming tonight. It meant a lot to them. And me.” She murmurs, reaching to place her hand on your thigh once again. You put your hand on top of hers, tapping it lightly in reply. One night doesn’t automatically solve your problems but it’s a really good start.

Two Months Later

And I need you sometimes

We'll be alright

Met you at the right time

You’re pretty sure you’ve just ruined everything. Two months of pure bliss and you just destroyed it all with three stupid words. What had you been thinking? It’s too soon. You know that. You’re usually the one wanting to slow things down in relationships and yet you still did it. Something just came over you today. After Leah’s telling silence you had fled and now, here you are. Curled up in bed with a tub of ice cream, crying over everything you’ve just lost.

After about an hour of this, you hear a knock on your door. Not in the mood to talk to anyone, you decide to ignore it and hope whoever it is will go away. They do not, and the knocking continues for another five or so minutes. Just as it’s finished and you’re thinking that the knocker has finally left, your phone lights up with a text.

Cait: Leah called me. Viv and I are here.

You wait a moment hoping they’ll get the hint, but no such luck.

Cait: Please let us in.

Sighing, you push yourself out of bed. The two women, who have quickly become some of your closest friends, are clearly not planning on leaving anytime soon. You open the door and are met by two of the most concerned faces you’ve ever seen.

“Shit, Y/N. Come here.” Viv exclaims upon seeing you, your face stained with tears.

Viv reaches out, enveloping you in a warm hug. You feel Caitlin’s arms wrap around you from behind. After a few moments of this, you pull away and gesture inside. The women follow you inside to the living room, settling on the couch on either side of you. Caitlin grabs your hand, squeezing lightly.

“We’re here if you wanna talk about it, but it’s okay if you just want to sit here.” The aussie says gently, nudging you with her shoulder.

“I want to talk about it.” You say, still sniffling. “Leah and I broke up.”

Three Hours Earlier

It started with pancakes. You had spent the night at Leah’s and woke up early, wanting to surprise her with breakfast in bed. When you woke, however, Leah was no longer in bed. Confused, you padded into the kitchen to find her at the stove–a rare sight. She didn’t notice you when you entered the kitchen, so you snuck up behind her, wrapping your arms around her waist. She jumped slightly when you did so, a smile appearing on her lips.

“Whatcha doin’?” You asked, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

“Making you pancakes. But I can’t focus when you’re right there, you have to go sit at the counter.” She playfully nudged you away from her, and you obeyed, moving to sit at the counter.

Watching her move around the kitchen, focusing oh so carefully on her cooking, determined not to mess up, you were struck suddenly with a thought. A thought you couldn’t hold in much longer. Just as she set a plate of pancakes in front of you, some part of your brain decided that was the perfect time.

“Leah.” You said, grabbing her hand and pulling her towards you. You cupped her face, brushing her hair back. “I love you.”

She didn’t say anything. She stood there, looking down at you for what felt like hours, but didn’t say a single word. Dejected, you pulled away.

“I, um–I have to go.” You stammered, embarrassed that you had thought the two of you were ready for such a big step.

“Y/N, wait–” She called after you, but it was too late. You had left, were driving home with tears rolling down your face. This wasn’t how things were supposed to be.

Present

You look back and forth between Caitlin and Viv as you finish telling the story. They’re sharing some sort of knowing glance that you can’t read. Then, Viv places her hand on your arm.

“Y/N, that’s really hard and I know it feels like shit to not have her say it back but it doesn’t sound like you broke up.” Viv’s voice is soft, almost a whisper. You look at her, confused.

“What am I supposed to do now though? Pretend I never said it? I can’t do that.”

“Nobody’s asking you to do that, we just think you should talk to her about it.” It’s Caitlin speaking this time. “And, by the way, she didn’t say you’d broken up when she called me. She just said you were upset when you left but she wasn’t sure if you’d want to see her.”

“Okay,” You sigh. “I’ll text her later to see if we can talk.” “Or,” Viv says as there’s another knock on the door. “You can talk to her now. We texted her when we got here.” Your friends get up to leave, each kissing you on the forehead as you sit frozen on the couch. You hear murmurs in the hallway and then the sound of the door shutting. Suddenly, Leah is standing in the living room, shifting awkwardly from foot to foot. She’s clearly been crying too, her eyes bloodshot and her hair mussed.

“Hi.” The blonde says tentatively, taking a step towards you. “Can I sit?”

You nod, gesturing to the spot next to you on the sofa. She sits gingerly, clearly wary of how close she should sit. You look at her, unsure of what to say. Thankfully, she speaks first.

“So I think I owe you an explanation.” She looks at you, searching your face. For what exactly you’re unsure, but you nod at her to continue. “My last relationship moved pretty fast. We said I love you pretty early on and then we kind of crashed and burned. I swore to myself I wouldn’t do that again so today when you said it I was caught off guard. I didn’t want to ruin such a good thing. But then you left and I was broken. Not knowing where you were or if you were okay…I couldn’t stand to lose you. That’s when I realized.”

“Realized what?” You look up at her to see that she’s been waiting for you to make eye contact.

“That I love you too.”

When she says this you lean farther into her, pressing your lips to hers. This kiss is different from all the ones you’ve shared before. It’s tentative, not because you don’t know each other but because you don’t want to move it too fast. You both want to savor it, not wanting to let go of this moment.

Later that night as you lie in bed together, a question pops into your mind. A question that might be risky, but that you can’t shake.

“Leah?” You murmur, twisting in her arms so you can look at her. “What would you say if I asked you to move in with me?” A wide smile appears on your lips and she kisses you once more.

“I’d say I was about to ask you the same damn thing, my love.”

#woso imagine #woso x reader #leah williamson x reader #leah williamson imagine #leah williamson #arsenal x reader #arsenal wfc

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bloodyodyssey · 6 days

Text

COMM POST IS BACK UP YAYYYY 🎉🎉🎉 This time with up to 8 slots at a time, 3 for busts, 3 for half body, and 2 for full body! Each listing also allows for up to one extra character to be added on at half price!

***If you don't want to commission me that's also fine i'd apreciate just a regular kofi dono or just sharing this around bc my finances are maybe extremely worrying right now. i will also be considering opening a google doc or some other order form to allow payments via cashapp. Anyways heres a general breakdown of the pricing system and my will's/wont's under the cut:

So how do I (you, the buyer) choose what I want?

SO when you open up the request form it should look something like this!

We're using the bust order as our example here. At its base price, $15, it is set for the black and white option. If this is what you would like, then you don't have to worry about the add ons at all and you go straight to submitting your request! Now, if you're choosing add ons, it'll look something like these:

The first would be an example of an order of a flat color bust + an extra character bust with flat coloring as well. The color option adds the extra $10 (to match the listed price on the poster for $25), and the extra character with flat coloring adds half of that $25 to the order (well a little less bc i knocked off the .50 cents) which is why it comes out to $37.

The second would be an example of a black and white bust order with an added black and white bust character. This just adds an extra $7 to the price totaling $22.

What will you (the artist, me Brutus) draw?

If you want me to draw your oc or fanart of your favorite character I GOT U!!!

I'm also comfortable drawing blood and gore though I'll have to keep it on the lighter side (I enjoy blood if it isnt obvious by my url though so depending on what you want we might be able to go a little further with that).

I can do characters with armor as well, however I will require a reference of some sort from you, the client, as I'm frankly not going to attempt armor off the dome. I won't design armor myself either.

Pinups (not full nsfw due to how much of a struggle it is to navigate different site policies) and other suggestive works are also a-ok! a tity does not bother me if that wasn't made clear by my commission card 👍🏽

What will you (the artist, me Brutus) NOT draw?

Im not comfortable trying to draw real people as of right now sorry! I'd hate to mess that up and have somebody clown me for messing up their beloved's features so that is off the table right now but it's subject to change.

I also won't do furry/anthro just because that isn't my forte as I haven't practiced drawing animalistic characters. There r plenty of talented furry artists for you to choose from and I could talk to someone to guide you to a few

(I can do more humanoid fantasy characters however. like mermaids, satyrs, etc)

More extreme gore and body horror is also off the table.

I may love mecha but as it is like armor and a bit more extreme, I'm not drawing it sorry. And also as stated above I'm not drawing armor regardless without a good reference.

Certain fandoms are a no-go for me due to my own comfort. A quick list would be: mogeko games, omori, south park, hetalia, attack on titan, mcyt, hazbin hotel/helluva boss. if you're not sure just ask!

I reserve the right to decline any comission request for any reason. Getting paid is nice but my comfort is nicer yknow.

And that should cover everything! If you still need to ask me anything, my main is @odysseys-blood (since you cant recieve messages on a side blog). Thank you so much for reading and a little extra thank you if you decide to commission me ❤️

#artists on tumblr #black artist #im hoping this isnt too long i tried to keep it brief but i wanted to make sure i made everything clear!#but if you have any questions feel free to shoot me a message!

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caligvlasaqvarivm · 2 months

Note

i never noticed the hints towards pale Solfef! in light of that, i think it's interesting that Eridan pursued Feferi in the pale quadrant while desperately wanting her to end up in his flushed one, meanwhile Feferi pursues Sollux in the flushed quadrant, despite them seemingly destined to be pale lol guess seadwellers are used to swimming up current lmao

that said, what are your thoughts on Erifef? do you think Eridan actually wants her flushed? or is that another subconscious tactic of his to keep her(someone he deeply cares about) by his side?

personally, i'm of the opinion that though they do care about eachother, they could never work out flushed. i think Eridan -though very enthusiastic about her and thinks they share the same troubles that comes with being so high on the hemospectrum, as well as isolated via physical location and the requirements to meet seadweller expectations- doesn't actually want redrom with her, but he knows pale isn't 'good enough' plus prefers to go to Karkat for all the traditional pale stuff. dude doesn't realize they can just be friends and she won't abandon him(cue Feferi abandoning him the monent she leaves quadrants with him, further exacerbating that fear lol)

meanwhile, on Feferi's end, it's too much to go into here but i think she has struggles with being present with others. so though i think she also deeply cares about Eridan and was absolutely miffed he was going to Karkat for things that she(being his moirail at the time) should have been talked to about, i think she has a lot of character development to go through before she can really pursue quadrants as something she needs and wants and not something she thinks she should do. i think flipping pale with Sollux could have been that catalyst but alas :' ] it seems Hussie changed his mind

So, personally, I do actually think Eridan's flushed feelings for Feferi are real... kind of. The fact that he has 0 self-awareness really makes talking about his feelings difficult because everything needs to be qualified with "this would change if he were capable of taking a step back."

The "kind of" here is because I don't think it's necessarily Feferi, the PERSON, that Eridan's in love with, but rather, the Feferi that exists in his head. To Eridan, Feferi is a bubbly, adorable, cheerful girl who's nice to everybody and doesn't have a mean bone in her body. He literally says that he thinks she might be too nice to have a pitch relationship with somebody, which is definitely not true, as Feferi can be plenty mean, and there's plenty to find flawed about her.

The first reason for this mistaken belief is that that's definitely the way that Feferi believes herself to be, so it's how she presents herself, and Eridan believes people when they tell him stuff. The second is because, in Eridan's shitty, friendless life, Feferi has been his one constant - the person who's always been there for him, the only person who's consistently nice to him (until he meets Karkat, and even then, Karkat is master of the mixed signals, and Eridan implies that death threats and insults are regular banter between them), and oftentimes the one person who cheers him up when he's at his lowest.

I think a lot of people in the fandom are too hard on Feferi - she's genuinely well-meaning, and most of her bad points come from ignorance and privilege, not manipulativeness or spite. She doesn't consciously realize it when she's treating Eridan poorly, and she makes real efforts to be a good moirail to him, even though he doesn't usually reciprocate those efforts. I think she suffers from the Umbridge Effect, where Eridan's problems - being on such the extreme end of trauma and anxiety - almost feel alien and unreal, while everyone knows a Feferi, so Feferi draws in some undue vitriol.

She has a few outbursts at him when he's egregiously rude for no reason, but given she's been dealing with his severe mental illness for so long, and takes his threats and casteism at least semi-seriously, I don't blame her for being exhausted and snapping from time to time. She's genuinely just not equipped to help him with his problems - lest we forget, she's also 13. Otherwise, everything else she does to harm him is something she just genuinely doesn't consciously realize is a problem, because she's got a hard time seeing past her privilege.

For example, using Eridan for feeding Gl'bgolyb without gratitude - the thing is, societally, it's his job, and HAS always been a violet's job. Not only that, but given his... everything, if she asked him if he's okay with doing it, he'd definitely insist that he is, and in fact, that it's HIS duty and HIS privilege. He also started INCREDIBLY young, so it's genuinely just been like this for their entire lives. It's a bit shitheaded for Feferi to not realize how much she benefitted from this arrangement, but, again, it's a crime of ignorance, not malice.

In a similar vein, I think she stayed in her moirallegiance for as long as she did partially because she got an ego boost out of it. She commiscerates with Kanaya over how burdensome he is, and she gets to say things like "we are not better than anybody," which she absolutely doesn't actually feel, given how she won't shut up about being a royal when talking to Jade. She's elated to break up with him, her narration celebrating with a big "you're FREE!!!" and it's not a coincidence that said break-up happens after Eridan's no longer useful to her - she outright states that he can't threaten their species anymore now that they're in the game and everyone else is dead.

BUT, I think she ALSO means it when she says that she stayed in that moirallegiance because she was genuinely worried for him. Both this statement and the above paragraph can be simultaneously true. There's nothing about Eridan that's actually that offensive to Feferi, and I really do think she means it when she says she wants to stay friends. His constant emotional crises have just left her burnt out in terms of sympathy, and she never really knew how to handle him in the first place, but in their first conversation together, she's still genuinely making an effort to get him to open up about his feelings and to cheer him up about his failed kismesistude.

After the breakup and his failed confession, the thing is, he does accept that rejection! ... Kind of. (Again with the kind ofs.)

He outright tells her he accepts that she doesn't like him like that... BUUUT, is trying to get her to go ashen with him and Sollux, instead. THIS is the "trying to keep her with him" angle you're talking about, IMO; I think his flushed feelings are genuine, even if they're aimed at this idealized version of Feferi moreso than the real deal. Without Feferi in the picture, I think Eridan and Sollux would have a completely lukewarm mutual dislike. The sheer lukewarmness is probably why Erisolsprite is so stable - they're completely mid for each other.

The realness of his flushed feelings for Feferi is, incidentally, part of why I think him and Roxy would work so well together - if this idealized version of Feferi (bubbly, adorabloodthirsty, pink, cute, cheerful, and kind) is his Type... well.

I also think he and Feferi would work pretty well as just normal friends; they might have fallen into that dynamic on their own if they'd met later on in life. In a hypothetical golden ending, I think they do fall into it once EriKar happens, since moirallegiances are stated to have a stabilizing effect on a troll's other relationships.

#homestuck #eridan ampora #feferi peixes #erifef

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