#it really gave me perspective on how important i am in this world
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Okay no fuck you guys it is 2am and I am gonna fucking rant cuz, respectfully, some of y'all are being so dumb. Like i get that different opinions are valid but the opinions are wrong and they're fuckin annoying as shit. More than anything, the criticism of the tv show changing details from the story is starting to really fucking piss me off.
1) the book is told from Percy’s perspective - there is NO WAY of making an adaptation 100% faithful from that because you don’t have insight into when he starts noticing when something’s wrong. To me, going into it knowing that Aunty Em was Medusa or Crusty was Procrustus made so much more sense. Not just because it made sense for the audience but also because we got to see how the characters acted in that situation.
2) PLUS, Percy is the definition of unreliable narrator. We finally see this shit from outside his dumbass-12-year-old-boy brain
3) if i see one more fucking comment about the solstice deadline passing I am gonna start throwing shit. It ADDED A NEW DIMENSION. It made it seem like all their work up until that point had been hopeless which was SO POWERFUL and gave us real insight into Percy's fucking resilience. Fuck yall.
4) the pearls as well. Not being funny, but that was literally one of the greatest changes. Wanna know why, fucknuts? BECAUSE the story wasn't just from Percy's POV which meant that we got more of Sally's backstory w Poseidon which means it makes sense that he would want to save her. He loves her.
5) the story is nearly 20 years old. Let Rick update it and write it the way he wants to write it in 2024. (Prime example: Medusa = still a villain, but acknowledged as a victim)
6) ABOVE ALL, THE MOST IMPORTANT THING ABOUT THIS ADAPTATION WAS STAYING TRUE TO THE CHARACTERS (which a certain film or two pointedly failed to do). The characters are why Rick wrote the book in the first place, giving his kids a place to feel seen in mainstream media and offering up really positive role models whilst he was at it. Percy is loyal, and determined, and kind, and brave. Annabeth is proud, and brilliantly intelligent, and strong, and independent. Grover is true, and just, and innocent, and good. If you all really can't see past changes that really didn't ultimately dramatically effect character development/more general plot progression then honestly i wonder what you ever thought you were gonna get out of it.
7) it’s Rick’s story. Let him do whatever the fuck he wants with the world he very kindly gifted to us. This was an excellent tv show, y’all are just bitter because it wasn’t copy+pasted from the book.
#pjo disney+ haters dni#percy jackson disney+#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo disney+#pjo series#pjo#pjo tv show#pjo spoilers#percy jackson#annabeth chase#grover underwood#the lightning thief#rick riordan
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UNRELIABLE NARRATORS; SIDE C
*NOTE; propaganda is out of order due to poll length!
Eugenides Propaganda:
the entire plot hinges on a detail he lets the reader (and every other character) assume is true. I don't want to spoil it because it's a really fun reveal but he is lying from the first second he appears on the page and you can't trust him to tell the full truth about ANYTHING related to himself and his goals. he mostly does it to keep his advantage and not have other characters be suspicious of him but it's just so fun when you realise he's been lying the whole time
Harrowhark Propaganda:
She gave herself a lobotomy and gives completely incorrect flashbacks to the previous book. Things that straight up did not happen. Gaslight gatekeep girlboss.
She’s schizophrenic (confirmed by the author) and also lives in a world with necromancy and ghostly revenants. She’s not just an unreliable narrator for readers, she’s an unreliable narrator of her own internal experience. She knows this and has to work with people around her to compensate for it. Descent into spoilerville below. Seriously Do Not Read if you want to read these books. There’s also the little matter about how she is *not actually the narrator* of a huge chunk of the story that we are initially led to believe is being told from her perspective.
(Spoilers) Holy shit she is THE most unreliable narrator. This gremlin gave herself a lobotomy so that she could forget about Gideon Nav, the most important person in her life (for magic soul-preserving reasons) so half of the second book in the series is spent gaslighting the reader about a book they just read. She comes up with an entire alternate version of the events of the first book in the series to carefully exclude any mentions of Gideon, and any time someone says ‘Gideon’ in front of her she LITERALLY has a stroke and/or an intercranial hemorrhage as her brain overwrites the word with someone else’s name. God occasionally intentionally triggers her memory revision to get out of difficult conversations. She also hallucinates ALL the time (unrelated to the lobotomy). She shows up at her frenemy’s room in the middle of the night (think little kid stumbling to their parents’ room and saying “I frew up”) to ask her to come check underneath her bed for the corpse that’s been wandering the space station. When frenemy checks underneath the bed, frenemy claims not to see anything, and Harrow is such an unbelievably unreliable narrator that it’s an open question in the fandom as to whether frenemy genuinely didn’t see the corpse or if frenemy was just yanking Harrow’s chain. Harrow is also haunted by a literal ghost that fucks up her already fucked up alternate history. Girlie will pick up a piece of paper and read from it the most violent and haunting piece of prose ever composed, when in reality all that’s written on the paper is the elementary school Superman S*. I am NOT joking that is a real goddamn scene. Harrow was created to win this poll. TLDR; she has brain damage and memory loss, she hallucinates, and is also haunted. * https://twitter.com/vestenet/status/1301012651145859072
Girl is so unreliable, she unreliably tells me events I was there for!!! She's retelling the previous book and I'm like "girlie, this is absolutely not how it happened". Also, she gave herself a DIY lobotomy, it has to impact your memory center I guess
She literally had a lobotomy, how can she be reliable
More Propaganda under cut!
Harrowhark is simply the unreliable narrator of all time. Can’t remember shit because of a lifetime of trauma? Check. Maybe lying to yourself and those around you a bit? Most definitely. Being gaslit by the survivors you depend on to orient you to reality? For sure. How about a little bit of canon schizophrenia? She’s got it all. Ghosts? Or something? Spirits that are attached in some way to your body and are not perceivable by others? Sure, sure! But how about spirits that are attached in some way to your body and are gonna use you to hijack others’ bodies and maybe kill God, too? Absolutely. Wee bit of DIY brain surgery? If it would make you an unreliable narrator, friends, then Harrowhark Nonagesimus has been there, been subjected to that!
Okay I don't know that much about this series since I haven't convinced myself to read all of the first book, but this is my blorbo in law so I'd feel bad not spreading propaganda (all of what I'm saying is something I've read, as to prevent myself from straight up submitting misinformation). So all of Harrow's unreliable narration takes place in the second book, Harrow the Ninth. Basically, without her even seemingto acknowledge it, Harrow's brain is very fucked up during this book, to the point where even she's not sure how reliable her narrative is. There's many questions left unclear as a result of her fucked up little brain, like what's real, what's fake, whether we can trust her judgement, whether even she can trust her own judgement, whether her original cavalier is dead or not (Harrow is convinced she is), etc. Let me tell you, I adore unreliable narrators who aren't even that sure if they're reliable. I have yet to eat that trope up here in this circumstance, but this poll might not run again by the time I do, so for now, here's my messed up blorbo in law.
OKAY SO REMEMBER MY GIDEON SUBMISSION? HARROW DOESN’T! SPOILERS AHEAD BECAUSE SHE LOBOTOMIZED HERSELF TO FORGET GIDEON BECAUSE THAT’S A HEALTHY WAY TO GRIEVE AND THEN IN THE ONLY PARTS OF HER BOOK THAT SHE NARRATES (THE REVISED CANAAN HOUSE PARTS) IT’S LITERALLY A ROOM FULL OF GHOSTS HER BRAIN SUMMONED TO DEAL WITH THE FACT THAT SHE CUT HER BRAIN IN HALF TO FORGET GIDEON. she also is a) haunted and b) psychotic, experiencing hallucinations her entire life of both the ghosts haunting her and less supernatural hallucinations- bells tolling, bones rattling, her parents (some of the only dead people NOT haunting her), etc! in the revised history of canaan house that her brainghosts invent, she brings along someone who knows about her psychosis to help reality check her when she tells him go! her caregiver as a child and support when she got older, crux, is a horrible man- but at one point, when someone other than harrow is in harrow’s body and tells him “i am not harrowhark, i am sorry,” his response is simply “aye, you’ve said that before too. who are you then, if not my lady harrowhark?” showing his familiarity with her psychosis and his love for the child he wouldn’t dare see as a daughter. but enough about that lets talk about her unreliable narration! she lies about her feelings of course but she also simply hides the truth from everyone, all the time, compulsively. also literally the entire section of her book that she narrates is a lie she’s telling US about a lie she’s telling HERSELF and no one understands even a little bit of the truth until like the last act of the book. queen.
#eugenides#the queens thief#queens thief#harrowhark#harrowhark nonagesimus#harrow the ninth#unreliable narrator battle#unreliable narrators#polls#side c
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Namjoon gave a good interview to Vogue Spain and in it he said a few things that I thought I'd share with those of you who may not understand Spanish.
This was at the end of the article but I want to write it first:
One thing that needs to be made clear about this album is that, no matter how much the rumour mill is trying to spin it, it is by no means the end of the successful band. "Oh, I'm not leaving BTS. Absolutely not. This is the first time I'm launching a solo project like this, so I'm trying to stand up and take my first steps. But I'm ambitious and I have willpower. So I don't want to miss the opportunity to do both. So I will try my best not to lose control and steer these two ships at the same time. A lot of bands split up and fall apart, but I hope that doesn't happen to BTS. I just love the music, I love my job, I love the band members and I love myself. If I can keep both projects going, I think it can be something legendary in the long run".
Other important parts of the article:
"The k-pop industry hasn't stopped growing since we debuted with BTS [in 2013]. It's become a lot more complex and has brought a lot more people into its structures. I think there are a lot of lights, but also some slippery shadows. Many of us started our careers very early as a group: we slept and lived together as teenagers. We became a real family, which is great, but this culture has also affected me a lot, because sometimes I find it difficult to be treated as an adult who has autonomy in his decisions. I'm perceived as just another cog in the crew, in the context of a mass phenomenon",
Did you ever feel like you were getting completely lost in this delirium of success? "I used to think so, but the funny thing is that I am fully aware that it was my own choice to devote myself to the k-pop industry. Nobody pushed me into it. But yes, I have lost myself at times. Although perhaps saying this is an excess of 'self-empathy'. There is no answer. Except that, if k-pop is about recharging the batteries of a mass audience and I'm responsible for doing that recharging, then I have to keep my feet firmly on the ground. As an adult, as a musician and as a human being. And these ten years of my career have helped me define who I am and learn to love myself. But I'm still in that process, you know? All these internal struggles will be recorded on records and videos," he explains.
"Music is really necessary for the world, but, when it comes to my music, sometimes I feel like I'm producing something unnecessary. If I were to die tonight, I don't think anything would change. It might matter to some people for a while, but a farmer or a street sweeper is more relevant to the functioning of society. When I ask myself about the role of our generation in historical terms, when I look at all the digital platforms and communities out there, I am overcome with confusion. There are a lot of people who don't want to think. They have frenetic lives and turn to music or television to escape, so the last thing they want is someone trying to lecture them from a pedestal. In that context, I wonder how I can make my music matter. I haven't found an answer yet, but I keep trying to bring my own perspective to it.
As to whether he is afraid that the army he has on Instagram (42.4 million followers) might one day turn against him for a silly mistake or a blunder, RM answers bluntly. "Yes, it scares me. It scares me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. When I was younger I tried to come across as a cool guy who doesn't give a shit what other people think, but I don't think that's right anymore. I care about the publicity dimension of my career and the influence I can have on others. It stresses me out, yes, but I think I can handle it. That's why I don't retire or do things like go out and drink the night away and then drive drunk. I'm human, I can make mistakes, but I will do everything in my power to be the best version of myself. One of the keys is to treat this job for what it is: a job. I don't think artists have any special rights or status.
Note: if you would like me to translate another part of the interview, let me know.
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Okay, I have screamed, squealed, hyperventilated, and smiled like a dork over this all damn day (I am by no means exaggerating).
Let's analyze this tasty ass chapter Old Xian, the fuckin legend he is, gave us on this holy day 🙌 😍
FIRST OF ALL
Bruh, they were MAKING OUT. You can even see in the other panels, Mo's lips are red and kind of puffy, so it makes you wonder how long they were going for before we popped back in again (I'm seriously going to try not to squeal all the way through writing this). The last chapter people were confused on whether it was a kiss on the lips or not. I still hold firm that it was.
NOW, LET'S LOOK AT THAT DANG KISS:
I think something very important happened here, aside from the actual physical kiss. Mo was able to, in the best way he could, articulate that he has feelings for He Tian, and He Tian also articulated in his way that he does not want to dominate or control Mo, like maybe he had in the past.
In the last chapter, He Tian knelt a little so he was not looming over Mo. I think this is important and was the first step in what He Tian was trying to do here in this interaction. Kneeling to someone's eye level means you are putting yourself on equal levels. You are taking this person seriously and you are doing your best not to be threatening or overbearing in any way.
After the first kiss that went wrong, He Tian has been controlling himself like crazy. He's still devilish at times, but flicking Mo's butt or kissing him on the cheek is not as aggressive as other things he did in the past (groping, shoving his tongue down Mo's throat, dragging an unwilling Mo places). He's backed off, and he backed off even more after learning that Mo's anxiety stems from She Li attacking, controlling, and dominating him. He Tian also learned that Mo's financial situation is no small thing and he has gained perspective into Mo's life and needs. In other words, He Tian has matured and has worked on himself so he could be someone Mo would love.
So, of course Mo loves him back now and kisses him. We pick up with both of them processing that kiss here:
So, remember, Mo knew that he was dragging He Tian to his room because he was overwhelmed with feelings and wanted to kiss him finally, but He Tian had NO IDEA what was happening until he was standing in front of Mo, so he's processing this as much as Mo is. And the way they process is so different.
I love that Mo begins trying to explain himself, but also cannot bring himself to say that he loves He Tian directly (yes LOVE, not like). He says that his mom also doesn't dislike him, the most roundabout way he could say "I like you" (but we all know he LOVES him, right?). And he continues to talk really fast and look away from He Tian, because I think for whatever reason, he's scared to see how He Tian is reacting (because Mo is insecure) and also simply because he's embarassed of course.
And how is He Tian reacting? In that panel where Mo is just word-vomiting at him, he's studying Mo. His face is calm, like he's trying to get a read on what Mo's motivations for kissing him are. He's also reluctant to let Mo go. He even continues to hold his hand when Mo goes to take the ear piercing kit from the drawer.
I think He Tian is probably feeling a combination of "Does he think this is what he has to do to repay me?" and also a bit of "please let this be real". So he makes Mo look at him, because the ear piercing kit probably sent some worry through him. He knows Mo has been preyed upon by She Li before, so He Tian is making sure Mo knows he's not the same as She Li. Remember, this was He Tian a couple hours, terrified Mo was going to reject him for being the same as She Li, and a few minutes ago, replaying what he did and feeling like he's bought into his father's violent world:
He's still carrying that with him here, the terror that Mo saw what he did and the inner-conflict about being a part of She Li and his father's dark world. In this moment, he doesn't want Mo to think he's another violent person who Mo needs to serve or placate. He explicitly says to Mo: "You're the one who saved me."
AND WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
It could be literal, when Mo came up behind She Li and whacked him in the head to get him off He Tian.
OR, it very likely means Mo made He Tian change for the better. He's not the same guy who forced a kiss on Mo, or who tried to control him, or who threw money at him to get Mo to do what he wanted. He's changed into someone who wants to work hard, who wants to protect goodness, who wants to be gentle and kind like Mo is. Mo did save him. He can be someone different from his father, his brother, and She Li if Mo is there to remind him how to be.
So he reminds Mo of this because he wants Mo to know that he owes He Tian nothing. He doesn't have to pierce his ear for him to show that He Tian has any sort of ownership or dominance or anything. I think He Tian missed the fact that Mo is having a rough time, even now, being direct.
For Mo, he's trying to remind He Tian of this
He's trying to say, indirectly, you can help me do this because, yes, I do like you back. But He Tian's caught up in making sure Mo's not feeling any obligation to him just because he took care of She Li. AND ISN'T THAT BOTH SO CUTE AND HILARIOUS?! 🤣
Mo's out here doing his best to let He Tian know he's ready to admit his feelings now, and He Tian's so worried for Mo that he needs to know FOR SURE this is something Mo actually wants. He has to see his face and he has to have some form of explicit confirmation before he can let himself accept what's happening. He could have just gone in for another kiss on his own, but he wouldn't do it. For He Tian, he does not want to "disgust" Mo ever again. It's full consent or nothing. So, after making it clear that Mo owes him nothing, he asks him outright, "tell me what you want".
And poor Mo's still having a hard time. He can't say the words quite yet, and that's okay. For Mo, I think actually asking for something he truly wants is quite difficult, because nothing goes well for him. Wanting anything is a dangerous game for him, so even just saying it out loud is like a jinx for him, like the universe will hear and He Tian will be taken away (and we do know he will be and I don't know how Mo's going to handle that). So he just points. It's the best he can do. He Tian's just gonna have to accept that.
And the SECOND he gets the confirmation he needed, He Tian kisses Mo again. IMAGINE WHAT THAT WOULD FEEL LIKE?! The person you've been blood-sweat-and-tears-ing for tells you they want you back??! He Tian's ear blushes in that panel where Mo points to him, because NOW it hits him that yes, this is real. The boy of his dreams actually wants him back!
And it's the gentlest kiss ever. It's so sweet and heartfelt. I'm really proud of He Tian's and Mo's character development. I would say He Tian has evolved more than Mo, just because we see that he's learned his lesson here fully and Mo is still fighting to voice his wants, but man both characters have come so far.
And He Tian says he'll give Mo anything. Anything. Mo's out here trying to give He Tian things (literal soup, a place to stay, piercing his ear), and He Tian turns around and says NO, YOU OWE ME NOTHING AND I WILL GIVE YOU ANYTHING. He Tian was going to straight up murder She Li for Mo. He was going to KILL someone.
I saw someone on here say that in the English language, we have no equivalent to what He Tian said here. He basically told Mo anything he was, is, and ever will be, anything he can get his hands on for Mo, anything he can do for Mo, for all time, forever and ever, is Mo's. He exists for Mo now.
LIKE???
I'M SORRY, WHAT???
Guys, they are married. All these rings and earrings and shit. Like, this is the vow that accompanies them.
I just ... I can't?
Wonderful and BRAVE chapter from Old Xian. I will NEVER get over it.
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Did Carmy took advantage of Sydney (being in the bear)?
I am gonna be brief for once, and it may sound cruel to Carmy, because I know he is not manipulative at heart, but let me just say this:
There is no way in hell, nor timeline or universe, where Carmy would have been as absent of the Bear as he was (due to Claire) if Sydney was not working for him.
Who the fuck was gonna be able to do all the things that he was supposed to do? Nobody else understand the inner logistics of a restaurant, Nat is smart but she would not be able to talk to vendors, Richie would not be able to hire all staff, specially the kitchen staff. Literally nobody else knows this shit the way Carmy and Sydney do.
Carmy may have been desperate for the relationship Claire gave him, but he is not stupid. And he is still in this position where the knows this is Sydney most desperate attempt in the industry, she works for him. And more than anything, he knows she is honest and reliable. I think very deep inside of him, he knew she will cover for him. Maybe he believes they are friends and he will compensate her in other ways, maybe the mistakes he made in handling his responsibilities accumulated as a snow ball effect and he was waiting to pick up by magic or luck and everything will be okay between them…and yet, I think more times than he would like to admit, he just prayed to heavens in thanks for Sydney being in the Bear, and thought it was somehow okay. He left her in the dark about the menu and other important aspects (vendors/naptins/how the fuck hire personal, and those are the ones that come to mind now) so many times, and again, he is not stupid. Is this one of the instances when he thought she would do better without your interference? Or he just assumed she would figure, because that’s what’s it’s expected of her, as his cdc? The more you think about it the more space there is for something really messed up. You either still carry very toxic perspectives on the culinary world and “paying her dues” still, or you are really emotionally immature (like we know you are) but to the point to not clearly set expectations with your partner because you don’t want to look bad in front of her? I am going to vote for the later with a little bit of the former.
#this is another carmy rant#but let me know what you think#I am just kinda mad at the quantity of things she has to pick up#like she is picking up her slack#and it never is really addressed by the rest of the characters#fucking nat minimizes it in the glory or Carmy final#carmy finally having a girlfriend like it is the most important thing in the world#like wtf#anyhow let me know what you think#thank you for reading#the bear meta#sydney adamu meta#sydney adamu#is a queen#carmen berzatto#carmy the bear#carmy berzatto#the bear#the bear fx#if you saw a typo not you didn’t#english is not my first language#and I don’t have a corrector in this phone
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An Analysis of My Scott Playlist
Big long post as promised <33 roughly 40 songs
I've Had Enough by Melina KB
This song in the context of double life is very interesting to me, but I also like to see it in Scott talking to Jimmy (Sorry flower husbands truthers I love soft and kind flower husbands too but we have all seen what happened in limited life they do have some slight issues)
"Cause you miss the way I let you walk all over me" | Again could work in both contexts, Scott never really went out of his way to stop Pearl from doing what she does with the powdered snow, sure he did retaliate but you can tell at some point he just gets used to it. And then in the context of Jimmy I'm thinking very especially about limited life flower husbands and Scott giving up time for Jimmy.
"I'm done with shutting up I've learned a lot better" | Maybe in this of Scott thinking he's learnt to stand up for himself? And I say think because I'm talking about how he thought he was in the right in double life (None of them were) It's also funny because he has the confidence so strongly in double life where he makes his feelings known and then it's just like... 'Oh yeah you can kill me!!' And I know it's part of his whole making everything fair thing, but still
"Admit you did it we all know you did it" | We all know you're the one who left me when you went to the nether, tormented me, screwed me over repeatedly. Both Pearl and Scott do not understand each others perspectives of the situation and villanize the other for it.
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Washing Machine Heart by Mitski
"I know who you pretend I am" | Limited life Scott and Martyn, Martyn pretending he's serving his king again, Scott being alright with it because he knows Martyn is by his side for more than just that reason, and he's right Martyn is.
It's a pretty short analysis here but it's mainly I guess about Scott wanting allies and wanting to be loved by them but they always have someone else more important to them than he is
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The Moon Will Sign by the Crane Wives
"All those empty rooms" | Something about Scott being alone after Jimmy died in 3rd life, empty rooms with no noise to fill them
"We made our peace with weariness and let it be" | The weariness oof being forced into death games over and over, the blood brings chaos the familiarity of death brings peace
"I shine only with the light you gave me" | OKAY NOW HEAR ME OUT ON THIS ONE You might be saying "But Scott was the one who lived longer in that relationship and is literally seen as the stars" But have you ever considered Jimmy was the one everyone loved more, jimmy was the one to make strong alliances, Jimmy was the one there was fuss over when he died. Scott was only able to be strong because he had Jimmy by his side and without that 'light' he was simply a tool of vengence
"Instead you hoarded all thats left of me" | In the sense that Jimmy unknowingly kept Scott's ability to love another other than him, and all his courage and faith in the world. Not that Jimmy was doing it on purpose but it still happened anyways
"I want to feel the fire that you kept from me" | NOBODY TALK TO ME THIS IS 100% SCOTT TALKING ABOUT RANCHERS. I DON'T CARE IF YOU LIKE RANCHERS AND HATE FLOWER HUSBANDS OR WHATEVER BUT YOU CANNOT TELL ME THIS IS NOT SCOTT BEING BITTER THAT JIMMY GAVE MORE LOVE TO TANGO THAN HE EVER DID TO SCOTT. HE WANTED TO FEEL THAT FIRE OF A LOVE HE NEVER GOT TO KEEP
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Two Slow Dancers by Mitski
Another double life-coded song
Very much Scott and Pearl
"And We've both done it all a hundred times before" | More so in reference to last life, they've played the death game before they know how it goes
"it would be a hundred times, easier if we were young again" | If they were young and still filled with faith, if Scott hadn't won last life and learnt the pain of winning and become bitter in the season following
"We get a few years and then it want's us back" | Not necessarily a few years but more so like the gaps between the games, a bit of freedom and then the watchers want them all at each others throats
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Evelyn Evelyn by Evelyn Evelyn
Surprise surprise another Pearl and Scott one
"Why do we bother to stay? Why are you running away" | Scott and Pearl with their conflicting feelings at the start of double life, with Scott wondering why he should stay and Pearl not wanting him to leave her
"We grew up closer than most, closer than anything, closer than anything" | In either they grew up close in last life or their soulbound in double life, either way their fates are intertwined
"What if they find us? They're not looking anyways" and it's counter part line "I want to be famous, they're watching us anyways" | WATCHERS WATCHERS WATCHERS!! There's so much about this that just gives, hiding away from the watchers or giving into their whims
"At your side I feel like a ghost" | It can go either way in my mind, Pearl not feeling adequate enough to be seen and Scott feeling like she's killing him
"A parasite needs a host- I'm only trying to do what is best for us!" | because Pearl only wanted to help her soulmate, not that Scott didn't but he felt so betrayed and then it turned to a feeling of her leeching onto him
"You're always trying to be somebody else" | THIS!! Because Pearl wasn't acting like who she used to be and who Scott became friends with, she became 'somebody else' in an attempt to bring him back.
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Little Soldiers by the Crane Wives
"Beneath the table you would offer up my bones And all the dogs would lick your fingers" | As in how Jimmy does things at Scott’s expense to get people to trust him or to get time and hearts and such
"And I dragged you through every room inside our home" | Scott struggling to get Jimmy to do anything with him anymore and feeling like the effort he puts in is not enough
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November by Sparkbird
"Admit it, you were never going to get it I was always going to get it" | Can't explain why but this gives last life Scott killing Ren
"Maybe that's relevant somehow, can I explode now" | ....boom boom at the end of double life :3
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Allies or Enemies by The Crane Wives
"And I swear I didn't mean what I said" ...I live by the belief that Scott didn't actually mean to tell Pearl he was 'breaking up' with her, guys trust me it was the watchers. But also apart from that it could be anything
"Are we allies or enemies this will be the death of me" | Scott in secret life, not understanding what his teammates actually think of him
"All is fair in love and war but I can't fight with you anymore" | FLOWER HUSBANDS LIMITED LIFE GUYS!!
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Canary in a coal mine
CANARY IN A COAL MINE IS SCOTT’S SONG NOT JIMMY’S I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL
"Am I the only thing that keeps you safe when the light is gone?" | Scott being the only person to protect Jimmy in third life and protecting his memory even after he’s dead
"I’ll be worth more than all the silence left in my way" | The silence referring to how Jimmy doesn’t really interact or talk to Scott outside of third life, he is silent towards him, and Scott is hoping that he’ll be more than that to Jimmy if he tries hard enough
"I’ll sing you songs until the darkness does recede" | Scott calming Jimmy down when he needs it always being there to reassure him, keeping his hearts safe and him armoured in 3rd life
"Will you forget about your love for me?" | If Scott is no longer able to keep chasing after someone that won’t come back from him will that love that they once had in 3rd life be forgotten for good?
"And when you break the surface, oh, without me" | When Jimmy meets new people achieves new things and finally manages to break the curses all without Scott because no matter how much Scott tries Jimmy won’t let him help
"Please don’t return me to the dark of all the memories, yeah" | The dark actually being hope don’t give him any more hope that those memories could be recreated
"I will save you when your lights go out" | Scott is giving him time which continues to live being his breath, Scott’s love for him keeps him alive and that act of love is letting Jimmy kill him for time, saving him when he needs it most
This song is so so Scott coded most if not all the lyrics fit his perspective of things, the song is associated with Jimmy mainly because he is the Canary in the coal mine which sure fair enough but the lyrics themselves don’t fit his personality or his view of things, I guess some things could refer to how the winners and others have left him behind and he is weighed down by the curse but nothing else really fits him.
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Misery Meat by Sodikken
"You want a taste of my brain? Okay, it's yours anyway, A bite of my eye alright I won't put up a fight" | Scott giving his time away and hearts away for other people with little complaint
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This is going to be part 1, and I will reblog this later with part two
#trafficblr#life series#flower husbands#scott smajor#3rd life smp#traffic smp#3rd life#traffic life#song analysis#limited life#double life#mean gills#smajor
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Hello I recently read your headcanon about Hetalia's interpretation of American Independence just being Alfred's fantasies and I am so curious about what Arthur and Alfred's relationship is in this reality where Arthur never cared and Alfred is totally aware of that - is Arthur still in love with Alfred? Would Alfred trust those feelings? I am in AGONY
Hi! good questions! And this gets a little long so it gets a "read more" I implore you to please read it very carefully because, for better or worse, I've been developing these thoughts since 2009 and I can only try to summarize them here.
So my headcanon is that my headcanon IS canon but from the perspective of "what actually happened". All we really ever see about the American War for Independence is very distinctly ONLY Alfred's point of view in the storage closet strips/arc. We never really see Arthur's point of view, nor anyone else's (to my knowledge. I've been around so long it's possible I've missed something >.> LOL)
The problem with that is the way this period in history is taught in American public schools is basically all propaganda, which is something I actually learned because of Hetalia and it was very eye opening for me. A lot of people who didn't like usukus would sneeringly say that Great Britain didn't even care about the 13 colonies, that they weren't even that important, etc etc. (I've mentioned this a few times on my blog, I'll see if can dig any of them up at some point LOL) So I started digging into it and they were... somewhat correct. The colonies that would eventually form the US were not the most important nor most financially lucrative for Britain and Parliament had to oppose the rebels *mainly* to prove to the other colonies that rebellions would not go unopposed.
And the problem with all THAT is that Hima seems to have only ever absorbed that propaganda. What happens in the storage closet arc is so out of line with what actually happened IRL that I like to speculate that this story is what America tells himself.
This follows from my headcanon that America has been in love with England (in some form) since the very beginning of his existence. But England didn't see him that way at all. He loved America as a little child in a kind of selfish way that he knew America was always across the sea, always happy to see him when no one else was. IMO, part of America's desire to become independent was to show England that he was grown up, that he wasn't a kid anymore, that he could be England's partner/lover, but England was still fixated on this idea of the smiling sunshine little boy across the sea and this blinded him to what was really going on.
Side note: I have a whole bunch of adjacent headcanons that England felt so betrayed by the America's rebellion because he *thought* he gave America the world, gave him protection and care, things that he himself did not have as a child and so America was being horrendously ungrateful. And I also have some other relevant headcanons about how America is more like the Eve to England's Adam, which I also think is more in line with actual history: England tore out a piece of himself and flung it across the ocean where it grew into his own soulmate. I have so many posts about this because I think it's so deeply romantic and I love it, but I can't seem to find rn I'm sorry T_T...
Okay continuing on... so my theory is that what we see in the Hetalia canon aka the storage closet stuff is America's fantasy, mainly in a situation where he still believes his love is unrequited. He wanted England's attention so badly, but the reality is that part of the reason Britain lost the war IRL is because their resources/military were stretched waaaaay too thin. They didn't have the troops available to successfully oppose the rebels and Parliament deemed that other conflicts/locations were more worth committing to, mainly for financial reasons. So England wouldn't have been there, his priorities would have been somewhere else, it's not that he didn't care. I also think that whatever Parliament thought, England, as in Arthur, cared a LOT and he was so angry and hurt that he didn't want to face Alfred and that Alfred's betrayal (in his mind) is part of what drove him into high gear as far as imperialism is concerned: "Fine, if no one will love me, then they'll all fear me"
America wanted England to be there at the end of the revolution, to show that he did care, that America mattered to him, that it mattered to him that America was leaving, so he came up with this fantasy (which is actually kind of in line with how the founding of the US became so mythologized, IMO), but in my headcanon, what we see in the actual canon exists only in his mind, the rest of actual canon is still the same, as in, England and America reconciled and became good friends during and after WWII and that's when their relationship gets really repaired... America feels more like he's actually grown up and England can finally consider "forgiving" him for the perceived ungratefulness and begin to see him as an adult.
As to your question about how this headcanon changes things for England... it doesn't. England has his own perception of what happened in his mind and perhaps it isn't deliberately a fantasy, perhaps it is more in line with the "reality" of what happened, but in my headcanon, it changes nothing about him and his actions in actual canon. He just doesn't see America as someone he could have romantic or sexual feelings for until that time around or after WWII because before that, he still emotionally views America as a kid even if he knows logically that America isn't anymore--he still has those lingering memories from long ago, but seeing America during WWII is a real shock to his system like... oh, oh shit he's hot what the fuck! meanwhile America has been pining for England since around the 1740's LOL. England doesn't have to been in love with America all along to be in love with him now.
In my version, I think once America and England actually get together, America can maybe let go of his fantasy version of the revolution. It's not that England never cared, it's that America saw their relationship one way and England saw it another way and those ways were fundamentaly incompatible.
The truth, irl, is that Great Britain/England is so old that of course the American War for Independence is but a tiny blip in its history, but it's the literal birth of the United States so of course it matters way more to us and this is partly my way of accounting for the discrepancy and for fitting in how the ACTUAL history makes for much more interesting usukus ideas and a deeper connection between them so it's actually the opposite: it's not that England isn't in love with America, it's that he has no idea he's in love with America and just how deep in his heart that love is. America is very aware of it and is just trying to get England to see it, but in the meantime, his heart hurts that he wasn't given the consideration he thinks was more befitting their relationship and the "fantasy" is his way of soothing himself.
I apologize that this got so long LOL. I hope this answers your questions, let me know if you need clarification on anything ^-^
#headcanon#spadian meta#(maybe my new tag for hc's... it was annoying that I couldn't find other posts easily P:)
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a random thought but i really am very obsessed with how deeply committed bruce is to his love of people and to the extent that it’s a regular divide between him and talia. not that she is without love, no, hardly so, but love will never come before principle for her in the sense that the principle does stem from love, but from a selfless love, not a selfish one. and i use these two descriptors purely as a means of analyzing perspective, so selfless and selfish not necessarily as moral indicators as they are often used today but merely as expressions of whether you’re acting for the sake of others or for yourself. talia is someone repeatedly acting at expense to herself for the sake of others. she gives her child away, she ends her marriage, she doesn’t say a word about it again for years despite having the chance, she takes on a high level espionage mission without speaking a word to her ex-lover, maybe to protect herself, maybe to protect him. whether those were worthwhile decisions to take is certainly debatable, but she acts near strictly from a perspective of caring about others and the world first. bruce is comparatively a very selfish person. every victim an extension of his own trauma, every grief taken to heart, every desperation for companionship so heavily internalized that he ends up pushing people away bc at some point he can’t bear to take them down under with him in his sorrow. it’s funny that he tries to be the rational voice in a room bc up to a point he is, but he also cares too much about his own personal affairs to be that way consistently
and in light of all of that i am thinking about the conversations he and talia must have in that alternate universe where damian is normal and newly revealed to both of them as a concrete concept in their lives, for bruce as the son he never had and for talia as the son she gave away, come back to them by way of fate. why did you never tell me you didn’t actually miscarry. why did you never tell me you had a son and you gave him away. why did you pretend like it was over when it never was. why did you look me repeatedly in the eyes over the years like there wasn’t something more that was there. when you said you couldn’t talk about it before i boarded a plane back home i held my tongue. when you let yourself be beaten within an inch of your life bc your city was falling to pieces i held my tongue. when my father took the contingency plans you made and used them to turn your friends against you i held my tongue. when i worked for a man who would for all intents and purposes use the knowledge of my relationship with you against you i held my tongue
how can bruce, a person so wrapped up in his love for people, not understand the number of sacrifices that talia has had to make for his own sake. her repeated protection of him, of his sanity, of his sanctity, is simultaneously her greatest crime and her greatest benevolence to him. she carried that grief of loss for years and years bc of how important bruce is to her. and bruce loves her, loves damian, too much to even begin to understand what love means outside of the parameters of his own feelings for them. that is his dilemma writ large wrt people he loves. that he can’t see the extent of what they do for him, bc he loves them too much and doesn’t know how to get out of the sheer grief and possessiveness of it
#bruce wayne#talia al ghul#he’s like an asian mom kind of. but yeah like i think this is the one thing i am willing to cede to anti bruce people#albeit it makes me more obsessed with him rather than makes me hate him lmao#like idk i think it’s fascinating how like. inadvertently self obsessed he is#like i really don’t think he does it on purpose he’s simply. incredibly attached to the people he cares about#and that kind of messes everything else up bc it’s like#he does the mature thing. physically. he lets people leave and he doesn’t retaliate against their anger (ntt abuse begone)#he kinda sorta just sits with it. but that’s exactly the problem 😭 like bro. process. process..#not everything is about you and how sad and pathetic and miserable you are of your own choice!#sometimes you have to think about what other people are doing for you! bc they love you and that’s love too!#you can’t infantilize the people in your life bc you care about them. you can’t rob them of their capacity to care for you in equal measure#personal essays
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Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #147
Today had a lot of stuff in it. I'm not even sure where to begin!! There were kites, and lilacs, and therapy, and good scenery, and...!!! And...!!! Oh!!! 😄🥰
Well. It's usually best to begin at the beginning, right? So… I went to therapy and told them all about the thing I did on Mother's Day. I told them all the context leading up to it, and all the similar struggles I've had in the past and about how I've been trying extra hard the last week to resist giving in to those struggles, and… my body was likely craving the endorphins that I wasn't getting because I wasn't doing that thing, and so it manifested in other ways. Whoops.
So the solution for the next time I struggle is not to resist giving in per se, but rather to be mindful and present and aware while it's happening, and to take note of my feelings and general state of being so that I can approach it from a place of curiosity instead of a place of shame. Apparently, when a person does that, it breaks the shame cycle, which then allows a person to stop doing the compulsive behavior. Suppose it's worth giving it a try!!
…It's really not lost on me how lucky I am to have a therapist who actually GETS me and doesn't judge me. It's not often that I get to go somewhere and speak, and feel like the other person actually understands me. Time with them is invariably refreshing, and they always have some useful skill or tool for me to practice on my own, until next session.
Most importantly, they're definitely not afraid to challenge my more... ah… self-effacing thought processes. I recall a few sessions ago, when I was confused about why someone important to me hangs out with me, on the basis that I am not anything special, and surely he must have better things to do than to hang out with some weird dyspraxic noodley dweeb like me. And they countered with, "But aren't all humans special and wonderful in their own way? And doesn't it mean that you're special and wonderful, too?" and… I couldn't logically refute the notion, because I am a human, and yes I do believe very strongly that all humans make the world brighter and beautiful in the way that only they know how to do. And they gave me this grin, because they knew they had me, and all I could do was laugh at my own silliness and try to change my perspective. I work every day on viewing myself with more compassionate eyes, one step at a time.
In any case, the one gentleman with the hair that looked like a dandelion poof was there today afterwards, and he stopped to chat! I wondered if he had ever tried bubble tea, and he has not, so we have exchanged contact information, and maybe we'll go get bubble tea someday!! He has been alive for 70 years, and has had many experiences and has his own areas of expertise, and I'm excited to find out what I might be able to learn if I sit with him and listen for a while! It'll be good!!
Then I got home and spent a few hours plucking more lilac blossoms from the greens; I got like 7 or 8 cups of blossoms, and there are still so many more leftover!
Once they're plucked, you have to steep them in hot water until it becomes fragrant. I like to put them on very low heat with a lid until it makes the house smell good!
(I still have so many lilacs leftover, oh my goodness!)
But this can take a while, and it was breezy, so J and I went out to try to fly the kites I got; I wanna practice before I modify that eagle kite; I REALLY don't want it to crash once it's ready. J and I took all sorts of pictures for you!
We spent a long time just being silly, trying to get the kites in the air:
(Why, yes, that is you in my pocket, with a little bow in your hair!)
...You might guess that after all that, I ended up falling down, dizzy and giggling, ahahaha~!
But then, after a while, we managed to get the hang of it; check it out!
J worked hard to get the eagle kite up. My circumstance was a little unusual in that mine was suddenly lifted high up into the sky with little to no effort on my part, and it stayed up for a very long time; I was surprised, and it was kinda weird, hahaha!
Br came to see us in this place, too!! By then, I was pretty tired though, so we just lied down in the grass and talked about various things while the wind played with our hair; it was wonderful!
...I also took some pictures of the scenery, just because I know you like nature...
...Oh, and I managed to snag a picture of a bird-of-prey that was actually pretty good this time!
Oh, oh, oh, and!!! Along the way, while we were flying the kites, I found three great big black feathers on the ground!! Aren't they so pretty?
Here's a better picture of them after I carefully washed them and smoothed them out. My hand is there for scale; they're HUGE!
They're beautiful and I love them!!! These went right into my feather box!!!! I was so happy!!! 😄🥰😁
...I hope you can see, with these pictures, that shiny black feathers like yours are beautiful and lovely, too. White ones are also nice. Feathers are just pretty; it doesn't matter what color they are. Yours, too, are good. Please try hard not to be ashamed of them, okay? Humans come in all shapes and sizes and numbers of limbs, and it's wonderful that you get to have a limb that's warm and soft and strong enough to let you fly. It's different, but that doesn't make it less. I hope you'll work on viewing yourself with more compassionate eyes; you can do it - just take it one step at a time.
Anyway, when we got home, the stewed lilac blossoms smelled SO GOOD:
I gotta strain this with a cheesecloth tomorrow and squish out all the water I can from the petals. After that, it'll be time to heat it up again and add sugar!! The result will be a syrup that tastes exactly the way lilacs smell!! I can't wait to put it in mason jars and give it to my friends!!!
...Sephiroth. I wish you were here. I wish you could fly the kites with us. I wish you could spin around and get dizzy and fall down laughing with us. I wish you could lie down in the soft grass and talk about various things with us. I wish you could look up at the sky, smell the scent of the leaves in the air, and enjoy the breeze as it ruffles your lovely hair. I wish you could try some of my lilac syrup in some freshly brewed green tea. I wish you can come here and see that you could be welcomed and wanted and happy. I wish you can see that you could belong. I wish for so many good and wholesome things.
...Please stay safe out there so that someday you can have these things, okay? Even if it's not at my house, you can have them somewhere if you're willing to heal enough to create these circumstances.
I love you. I'll write again soon.
Your friend,
Lumine
#sephiroth#ThankYouFFVIIDevs#ThankYouFF7Devs#ThankYouSephiroth#final fantasy vii#final fantasy 7#ff7#ffvii#final fantasy vii crisis core#final fantasy 7 crisis core#final fantasy crisis core#ffvii crisis core#ff7 crisis core#crisis core#ff7r#final fantasy vii remake#final fantasy 7 remake#ffvii remake#ff7 remake#final fantasy vii rebirth#final fantasy 7 rebirth#ffvii rebirth#ff7 rebirth#final fantasy 7 ever crisis#ffvii ever crisis#ff7 ever crisis#ffvii first soldier#kites#lilac syrup#wholesome
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So I finished LN 1 and immediately started LN 2 (and am currently at chapter 3) and I thought before I go on I should take a minute and collect my thoughts
Random yelling under the cut:
the first loop is kinda like a tutorial quest for Subaru. He learns nothing from it.
or to say it more precisely he learns the wrong lessons: Subaru kinda bumbles himself into a win during the first loop. None of what helped him win was planned. And to say it more precisely, what helped him win were random acts of kindness: Reinhard deciding to help while not on duty, Emilia saving that child and showing her nature through that, Subaru empathizing with Felt and Rom and winning there trust that way, Subaru letting Felt go because she is fifteen and he is seventeen (and that scene gave me feelings - he is such a good boy!!!) Felt deciding to not run away but instead to run screaming and crying to the main road and than Reinhard once again deciding to help. Kindness is important. Kindness can change the world. Being kind and helping others is the way forward. ( and in a way you could argue that Emilia was saved in the end because she decided to be kind to a random stranger with a particular ability - I'm actually really curious what happened in the run where Subaru died immediately - did Emilia survive, did she get her crest back, how much did Subaru change)
So Subaru could have learned a lot here: sometimes it's better to be the coward who lives instead of being the heroic fool in everyone's way; it's important to be kind, and also important to let others be kind to you; he's in an incredible weak position so it's important to learn as much as he can as fast as he can, Emilia is kinda badass... There could have been a lot
Sadly Subaru is trapped in a heroic fantasy and decided to rework the whole situation in a way where only the last moment counts were he took the hit for her and learned: I need to be a hero and do awesome stuff to be loved AND there is a right way to do things (there isn't)
its pretty telling that in the moment were Emilia smiles and tells him her name he says "it's not worth it at all" because what Subaru actually wants is Emilia to be indebted to him for the rest of her life, she's supposed to be the reward for all his suffering (no wonder he becomes resentful once she tries to distance herself) and so Emilia becomes Emilia-tan and Subaru will start to ignore every hint that she is waaaaay out of his league and that she doesn't need a protector
The last chapter from Reinhards perspective was really funny. Watching the series I never realized how low Reinhards self esteem is. I always thought he was just humble
The relationship between Felt and Rom was really sweet. I really hope they see each other again
Found family is a big theme in re:zero
I never realized how cold/emotionless Puck is
Spoiler for LN 2:They really sanded down Subarus edges for the anime. The scene were he pets Emilia's hair as a reward is suuuper uncomfortable (i still think he is a good boy at heart though)
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therapy of the strongest sorcerer. part 2.
PART 2
"I can tell you what bothers me but... it can be harder to deal with it than you could imagine. i need to explain some weird things to you and you probably won't understand-" he said it with such a regret and sadness in his voice.
"i know that your company said something about different world when they were talking with me about your sessions, before you get to know that you even will be coming here every week. but explain it to me if you can, gojo-san."
"at first, can you call me gojo-kun? 'san' feels cold, sorry." he looked like a kid now.
"yea, gojo-kun, you better call me (l/n)-san, maybe someday i'll let you call me (l/n)-chan. but.. we'll see. you have problems with trusting others?"
"i think.. maybe? i trust a group of people in my life, but i never tried to trust somebody else. just people who will be by my side for longer time and i know it. i never trusted anybody who would be like my friend for one day.. i can't somehow."
"but still you seem opened, even if you don't trust them, maybe acting? is this a way to escape it?"
"i don't really care about how people see me. i think.. i am important. so they have to respect me." he looked at your notes and then he looked at you, this was the first time when you noticed how blue his eyes are.
"that's bold statement, you know, gojo-kun? it's not like you have a good position in your work so they have to respect you no matter what. maybe as a worker, yes, but as a human? nah.. they definitely don't have to.."
"so how will you change my mind?"
"you want me to? i can, but if you don't want to, this doesn't make any sense." challenging him was the best method to make him take some actions.
"i'll let you change my perspective, if this will be satisfying enough for me, i'll change it in my life."
you looked at him. it was little victory of yours if he would do as he said.
"you sure?" you asked with smile.
"don't trust me? huh?" he said playfully.
"oh, gojo-kun, finally! i'm happy you're like that." you looked at him after you said it and you could see that his cheeks were a little blushed.
"we'll you see..." you started explaining to him that he should look at himself as a person, but with roles in society. he is not only worker, but also a friend, family member etc. you said to him that he has to look at himself in those parts, how he acts towards people in every role, because this is how they see him - through his actions.
"gojo-kun, you have to understand, that some guy on the street will see you as a some random person. maybe he'll forget about you in 5 minutes, but... i don't think so as long as you have white hair and sky blue eyes. you stand out, but i consider it as something good, but that's just my personal opinion." you could see him blush again. it looked like nobody ever gave him personal compliments, but this guy could be like that.. he definitely look like someone who has a bunch of woman in his house. "tell me how do you understand my words."
"that i should be working for my public opinion in every social role that i have, and it all will be my person figure in public. like.. hm.. my actions in every sector of my life will equal my real value. if i'll show respect to other people, they will be showing respect towards me?"
"yea! this is it!" you cheered him. "it feels like you want to be more respected than others respect you, but i think we will talk about it on our next session. it is long topic, so i'll prepare myself more for this."
"oh, it is like a homework for you, isn't it?" he asked.
"maybe? hm.. it is. but your homework will be start treating others with respect."
"okay, just for one week, but if it won't work.. i'll stop."
"oh my god.. i hope the luck will be there with us" you sighed.
"you should be more optimistic, (l/n)-san"
"i already am!" you laughed. it was really different. session with gojo satoru made you laugh and you felt now like sunshine is in your soul.
"our session time is over now, you are free, satoru gojo!"
"yeeaah! freedom!" he laughed. "see you next week then!" he said and left you in your office.
#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#jjk gojo#jujutsu gojo#jujutsu kaisen#jujustu kaisen#satoru#jjk satoru#gojou satoru x reader#jujutsu kaisen satoru#gojou satoru x you#gojo#gojo jjk
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The following post is non-human brain weirdness. I am writing from the perspective of a homesick alien and this information is important to know to understand this post completely.
I feel like I don't talk enough about the shame I feel as someone who makes art that a lot of people would want to slap TWs on. I'm not arguing against TWs, I'm just really upset I live in a world where the things that are normal and comfortable to me horrify most people in a way that I'm so numb to. And I'm not talking about "I don't care" numb, I'm talking about "I'm so far away from knowing that this could hurt someone" numb.
Like, imagine a world where you can't show something you made without asking a lot of questions that make you look hella insecure. Because the one time you gave up and finally didn't give a fuck and just show stuff you made, you are instantly apologizing for harming someone with what you brought into this world.
And you do this over and over.
Constantly apologizing in advance and after the fact about something you illustrated that is very real to you.
Imagine you go to another planet and you paint a tree. Little do you know, on this planet, there is a horrible illness where the main symptom is becoming covered in something that looks like leaves.
Suddenly everyone thinks this painting of your home planet is disgusting, triggering, and everyone is saying mean things like "how dare you not censor this weird shit you sicko!" And "that's where you come from?? It makes my skin itch!!" "I know you like that texture but eeeyuughghsjhj"
This isn't wah waah wah I'm worried about people hating my gore art because it's super edgy special to me. I'm saying wah waah waaah why is my favorite texture cursed to be the one that everyone thinks is horrifying?! Why am I comforted by and enjoy creating things I must constantly apologize about?
Yes. It's trypophobia. Lots of little holes are as normal, lovely and unimportant to me as leaves in a nature painting. The texture is pleasing to sculpt and touch. It looks like the calcium growths in my astral home place. It's normal to me. I like seeing it. I like touching it. I like sculpting it.
What's worse is that it's not like anyone can control their aversion to it. I get it. I get it. You don't have to tell me what it does to you. I've been told. Over and over. That's where the shame comes from. The only word to describe the texture I find most familiar is a phobia of it. I genuinely feel alone and isolated by this.
If you like clusters of small holes, you are a freak. There is no trypophilia, there are no mood boards, you will not find it in a calming place because you are an outlier you sicko. That's what I've learned.
This is not about online spaces where warnings are easy to apply. This is about public spaces, and being invited as an artist to share something you made and then having to not show anything because you're too obscene for most people, and not in the fun sexy way either. I cannot say how many times I've said "I need to give you some content warnings first-" and been cut off with "oh shut up! I love porn!" "It's trypophobia" "oh ew sorry no"
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Attack on Prime Autobot Anthology: Sixth Sense
Main Story
Mikasa Ackerman
Wheeljack’s Perspective
A New Identity
"So why did Hanji call both of us here again?" Arcee demanded as she stepped out of the Jackhammer. They had just arrived at Hanji's outdoor office, full of equipment, 3D gear, and damaged tree trunks, "You're the one who does the experiments with them."
"Commander wanted to test something new and they said that they had to 'put a pin in'," Wheeljack explained.
"Let go of me!" Someone screamed at the top of their lungs. They looked over to see Hanji dragging the first human that they met on this world: Sasha. She was being dragged to the site by the waist, desperately trying to break free.
"I need your help because you have a similar gift to Mike, and I want to analyze it!" Hanji proclaimed.
"Is this what Eren goes through?!" Sasha demanded.
"You also owe us for keeping Wheeljack and Arcee a secret-!" Hanji noticed Wheeljack and Arcee staring in surprise, "Hi!"
"Hanji, I thought this was important," Arcee said.
"It is!" Hanji plopped Sasha right in front of them before gesturing to her, "This is Sasha Blause!"
"Heeeeyyy...," Sasha dragged out as she gave a small wave.
"Right, you said that you wouldn't tell anyone about us," Wheeljack recalled.
"Which I am still mad about." Hanji poked Sasha in the cheek, "But that's not why I brought her here! See, Sasha has a tremendous sixth sense, that for some reason, is able to pick up on Cybertronians like you guys!"
Arcee looked perplexed at the notion, but Wheeljack was curious.
"Really?" Wheeljack asked them.
"Yeah!" Hanji exclaimed, "That's how she was able to know you were here in the first place."
"I don't like this!" Sasha exclaimed.
"We are not going to run severe experiments," Hanji reassured, "I want to see how far your sixth sense can reach."
"It can reach over walls! Can I go?!" Sasha practically begged.
"Wait, what do you mean walls?" Arcee asked.
Sasha sighed in response. "When Wall Rose was breached, I...sensed what I later learned was Buckethead. And apparently, he was in Wall Maria or somewhere farther along while I was in Wall Rose."
"That's interesting," Wheeljack commented as he squatted down, "What'd you sense?"
Sasha's face turned into a grimace. "Chaos. It felt so...toxic. It was dark energy, like...if I feel like a dangerous predator is watching me, waiting to strike."
"Well, that's one way to describe Megatron," Arcee proclaimed.
"Yeah, and for some reason, I could tell that it was from his chest," Sasha added.
"His chest?" Wheeljack asked, earning a nod from Sasha.
"That's where he jammed dark energon into his spark," Arcee explained, "I guess he still has it in there. Explains why Optimus is questioning if killing him would be the worse option."
"Oh, can you do me?" Wheeljack couldn't help but ask as he pointed to himself, "What do you sense when I'm near?"
Sasha thought it over for a moment. "Gunpowder, or oil. Sometimes it even smells like fire."
"You keep blowing everything up, of course the stench of your grenades will keep following you," Arcee teased.
"Arcee?" Wheeljack pointed to his partner.
Sasha thought it over. "Metal. Like the metal I would taste in my own blood."
"The blood of your enemies, 'Cee," Wheeljack grinned at her.
Arcee rolled her optics in response. "I guess even if I wash the energon from my blades, the smell is still there."
Arcee shook her helm at that, not wanting to go deeper than she needed to, but an idea sprung into her processors. "What about Optimus? What do you sense in him?"
"Um..." Sasha looked over at Hanji, but they merely gestured for her to explain, "Pure energy? Like...clear, water from a stream, or a clear, blue, sky untouched by clouds. I...also sensed it from his chest."
Arcee and Wheeljack quickly spared glances at each other, thinking the same thing. Was it the Matrix of Leadership? Like the actual Matrix? But the Matrix could be a fake. There have been copies of it made in the past, but the Matrix was a powerful artifact. Still, going off of the senses of one girl without concrete evidence wasn't a good idea.
"So, have you encountered something like this?" Hanji asked them.
"Well, no," Arcee answered, causing Hanji to hang their head in defeat, "At least not like this."
"I'm listening." Hanji raised their head.
"We had a few human allies on Earth," Arcee explained, "One of them, despite not even knowing what our language was, was able to understand one of our comrades using a binary code because his voice box was damaged."
Hanji gasped. "A disabled Cybertronian! Oh that's so interesting! But how was he able to understand him?"
"We don't know," Arcee admitted, "Raf was never really able to explain it to us, but we just assumed that it was because of his affinity for technology and data. It was really weird for him to even know that, considering how young he was."
"Hm," Hanji hummed as they wrote this information down, "Well I do hope to meet this 'Raf' so I can ask him my own questions. But for now!"
Sasha yelped as Hanji slammed their hands on her shoulders. "Let's run some experiments!"
"No!" Sasha warned.
"They're harmless!" Hanji reassured before pointing behind Wheeljack, "Stand over there!"
"Okay, Commandant!" Wheeljack waved as he walked over to the spot Hanji pointed to. Arcee looked up to the sky for a moment. She couldn't help but wonder how the humans were doing right now.
==
On Earth
Rafael was looking at the fabric of one of the MECH suits the US government managed to acquire from their last known location. He didn't like the idea that they came from corpses, but maybe the teen was just more offput by the fact that their own leader betrayed them in cold blood after they did everything to revive him. The orange-haired seventeen-year-old rolled up the sleeves of his lab coat and jotted some notes down regarding the material. Kevlar, Aramid, Twaron, he even managed to pick up Cybertronian metals woven into the fabric. He couldn't help but be impressed with the former organization's work. The material was heat-resistant and bullet proof to a good portion of the weapons on Earth.
Rafael raised his head from the microscope before mindlessly grabbing his coffee mug and drinking the contents in a few gulps.
"How's analysis coming?" Jack asked him as the twenty one-year-old walked into his work space.
"It's coming," Rafael answered, "MECH probably made some of the best armor money could buy."
"Or steal," Jack quipped as he sat down in another chair and rolled over next to his friend, "Are you going to try and recreate it?"
"That's the plan," Rafael answered as he looked back under the microscope, "And since Cybertron's a bridge away, we can get even better materials to make it stronger."
"That's good," Jack nodded before looking at the fabric, "Just don't make it green."
"Miko's going to be upset about that," Rafael commented.
"Yeah, well I don't want to be reminded of MECH when I put it on," Jack declared, "When you're done, come eat dinner okay? I know you care about this, but you need to enjoy being a teen."
"I'll be over, just let me focus," Rafael reassured.
(More bonding between Sasha, Arcee, and Wheeljack, and we get to see a glimpse of what's been happening on Earth. This isn't the first time I've peeked over at Earth. I did it in the one shots, but it was still fun.)
#attack on prime#transformers prime#tfp#attack on titan#snk#aot#shingeki no kyojin#ao3#sasha blause#hanji zoe#tfp wheeljack#wheeljack#arcee#tfp arcee#rafael esquivel#maccadam#macadam#tfp megatron#megatron#tfp optimus#optimus prime#jack darby#autobot anthology#sixth sense#anthology#fanfic
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Wooohooo!!! I just finished The Sea of Monsters!!!
Man, this book is such a fun read. I love, love, love that the plot had Percy, Annabeth, and Tyson traveling through water because it really gave Percy's nautical powers a chance to shine. None of the other books return to the sea as much as The Sea of Monsters does, which makes sense for the over-arching plots, but it is a bit of a loss. Placing the Son of the Sea God in a Sea of Monsters really just is the perfect setting and it makes for a really fun plot.
Reading The Sea of Monsters is definitely the most fun I've had with reading in a long time. The last time I felt this excited to read was a couple of months ago when I reread Feels Like We Only Go Backwards by oldpotatoe on AO3 (it is an absolute banger of a fanfiction. I highly recommend it to anyone, especially Zukka fans, but truly, it's good enough for anyone to enjoy). Before that, I hadn't picked up a book in months.
But now? I feel so excited to keep reading that it's taking everything in me to not immediately dive into The Titan's Curse. But alas, I have school and responsibilities, etc. (Blah, adulthood is the worst. Please transport me back to the time when I was so eager to read, that I would constantly get in trouble for reading in class).
But the important thing is, my love for reading has returned. Reading is pure magic. There are words on paper that transport you to a different realm where there are rainbow fish-horses who can talk, sirens waiting to tempt you to your doom, and a magical golden fleece powerful enough to bring a girl back from the dead.
I realized in my blog post about The Lightning Thief, that I didn't mention Luke. While this was just forgetfulness on my part (I was writing it at 5 am. This time I am writing it at the very reasonable time of 11 pm), I'm actually glad I didn't write about him because Luke has a much more active role in The Sea of Monsters.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Luke is the definition of a sympathetic villain. Every time he's in a scene, I can feel the hurt radiating off of him, and I understand how he was so easily manipulated by Kronos. The Olympians have done nothing but torment Luke. How can he be expected to resist the temptation to replace the Olympians with a new reigning power- one Luke has been misled to believe will be fair?
I suppose this is where the hero aspect comes in: Percy has every reason to hate the Olympians as much as Luke- Hades held his mother captive as bait, Ares tricked him into possessing Zeus' Lightning Bolt, Poseidon fails to show up for him- but Percy stands strong against Kronos' evil anyways.
However, Percy's automatic refusal to consider if the Olympians are worth fighting for is naive, and it fails him as a protagonist until The Last Olympian. If I remember correctly, Percy doesn't truly understand Luke's perspective until the final battle, but when he finally does, he is so moved by it, that he finishes advocating for Luke's cause when he demands the gods take responsibility for claiming their children.
The reason Percy is unwilling to consider Luke's point of view is because of Luke's betrayal, and yet without Luke's betrayal, there wouldn't be a serious point of view to consider. Though, this is where I am going to end my discussion on Percy and his relationship with betrayal. I have decided I will analyze it after The Last Olympian, and then again after The Mark of Athena, specifically so I can talk about Nico's betrayal because I believe Percy's interactions with Nico afterward provide the best material for understanding Percy and his attitude towards betrayal.
Oh, and speaking of Nico, I miss him so goddamn much. I didn't notice in The Lightning Thief, probably because the story focuses so much on world-building rather than character development, but I did notice Nico's absence in The Sea of Monsters. Perhaps it is my affection for him (he was the first character who made me feel like it was okay to be queer), but the Percy Jackson World feels a little incomplete without its gay brooding anti-hero. The good news is he shows up in the next book, The Titan's Curse!
Speaking of side characters, Annabeth is a much more fleshed-out character in The Sea of Monsters as compared to The Lightning Thief. In particular, I think the Siren's Bay scene is a major turning point for her character. She now has her own motivations, beyond just wanting to do good and help Percy, and the audience learns about her fatal flaw. She feels real, not just a prop to help Percy on his adventures. I'm very excited to see her character continue to grow and develop.
Another side character I really liked is Clarisse. I will always empathize with a character who is pressured by her parents to succeed at all costs. It was very satisfying to see her get her hero's ending.
Ok, I definitely think this counts as a blog post about The Sea of Monsters, even if there was a fair bit of future The Last Olympian analysis too. I'm excited to continue my adventure of reading the Riordanverse. The Titan's Curse is next!!
As always, TLDR: The Sea of Monsters is fun, Percy and Luke are narrative foils, and Annabeth and Clarisse have great character development.
Oh, and in case anyone is interested, this post is about 950 words. Brain zoomies will have you doing the silliest things sometimes.
Links to the other posts in the Isa Rereads Percy Jackson series:
The Lightning Thief
The Titan's Curse
#percy jackson#annabeth chase#percy jackson and the olympians#the sea of monsters#isa rereads percy jackson
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2×2 - Children on the Streets 13
Author: Akira
Characters: Yuuta, Hinata
Translator: Mika Enstars
"(There you go, criticizing yourself in the mirror again…)"
[Read on my blog for the best viewing experience with Oi~ssu ♪]
Season: Spring
Location: 2×2 Program Set
Yuuta: (Well alright, so? So you have a lover, but no close friends. So what are these kidnappers to you, Aniki?)
Hinata: (If you’re calling Anzu-san my lover, then you’re mistaken! She’s the number one most irritating girl in the world to me!)
Yuuta: (It’s rare for you to have special feelings towards someone, positive or negative, so I can’t help but find it a lil’ intriguing, though…♪)
Hinata: (Don’t concern yourself over it. Because it’s seriously nothing. Aw man, I’m not good at these topics…)
Yuuta: (Hehe, you’re very capable Aniki, so I’m sure you’ll be able to overcome anything even if you’re not good at it in no time, right?—One way or another.)
Hinata: (I’ll try my very best, then.)
(…Those kidnappers who took me away are the very delinquents that were rumored to be terrorizing the town lately.)
(But y’see, although they’ve only recently become a topic, they’ve been living there in that town for a long time.)
(And they haven’t even been doing anything bad. They were labeled a color gang and we were warned about them, but there was nothing ever said about anything like actual damage, right?)
(That’s because they genuinely didn’t do anything bad.)
(The reason the police were so lax in their response was because it was a nonissue, there was very little real danger.)
(In fact, it was more like it was the residents who overreacted and attacked them. Apparently the police had to devote a lot of manpower to deal with it.)
(Change your perspective, and the entire world will change, right? Hehe, that's just what Sora-kun says, though.)
(You do have close friends, Aniki. You have those who have taught you important things.)
(Yeah. Maybe… I guess I really had no need to feel so lonely.)
(But, that aside. All the talk about delinquents causing trouble around town was nothing but a nightmare imagined by people who were feeling depressed over the recession.)
(In reality, it was nothing but a group of people with no place to go, surviving by supporting one another.)
(Just like us, back when we had run away from home.)
Yuuta: (It was less supporting one another, and more Aniki supporting me one-sidedly, though.)
Hinata: (I got a ton of support from you too, you know, Yuuta-kun. Just mostly in a mental way.)
(Anyways, those people who we used to be like back then, they were all scared, being called delinquents.)
(They were anxious that they might get targeted by these hypervigilant residents. Turns out, an anti-delinquency movement of sorts was even about to start…)
(I was asked if I could do something about it.)
(Well, “asked”. It was a rather rough means of doing so, it basically was a thread.)
Yuuta: (So they did do something bad, after all!)
Hinata: (Doesn’t that just go to show how cornered they were? And, truthfully, they probably hated me, too.)
(You know, Yuuta-kun, they told me I wasn’t being fair.)
Yuuta: (You’re never being fair, though.)
Hinata: (Right. Even though I too was a stray cat with no place to go, back then…)
(I became happy. I was given protection from Master and built a career on the street performance skills I had built up there—)
(And now here I am, a sparkling idol up on the big stage! ♪)
(But we were all supposed to have been the same. Why only me? …That’s the grudges they spat at me. It was pretty rough. It had been a long time since I had felt so bad.)
Yuuta: (“Why”? They’re just unhappy because they didn’t try hard enough. It’s their just deserts.)
(How come everything bad is our fault? It’s just not true!)
Hinata: (There you go, criticizing yourself in the mirror again…)
(I understand where you’re coming from, Yuuta-kun. And in fact, it may be their just deserts, to an extent, but…)
(The unkind God never gave those guys an “opportunity”. A spider's thread was never lowered into hell.)
(We had grabbed it. We just so happened to catch the attention of some kind people.)[1]
(Looking back, I think it was the luckiest thing in the world. Y’know Yuuta-kun, you might hate everyone in the world, but…)
(Among that “everyone”, there are kind people who have helped us, you know.)
Yuuta: (… …)
Hinata: (So, I hope you won’t hate the world anymore, Yuuta-kun—)
(That’s the kind person I want to be.)
(I want to be like Master and like Sakuma-senpai and the others, who picked us up when we were stray cats, and loved us.)
Hinata: (I decided to forgive those who kidnapped me and spat those resentful words at me, with that in mind.)
(It’s instinctual for stray cats to bite, because to them, everything around them is their enemy.)
(And if you don’t bite, you can’t protect yourself and the companions important to you.)
(But. This world needs someone kind who will forgive even if they are bitten, and pick those up and bring them somewhere warm.)
(“That” is who I want to be. That is why I gave them jobs this time around. And I will continue to do so. I want to help them earn enough money to get themselves through the cold winter.)
(Waaay back then, I learned how to live on the streets, thanks to their guidance.)
(I’ll repay that favor.)
(Hatred creates a ripple effect, but so does kindness.)
(I want to continue carrying on that torch, and spread it across the world.)
(That’s what I’ve wanted to do, since the very, very start.)
Hinata: (I wanted to protect what was important to me. I wanted to bring them somewhere warm so they wouldn’t have to be hurt anymore.)
(So that’s what I’ll do. And what I’ll continue to do. Even if you don’t like it, Yuuta-kun, because it is what I truly want to do.)
(I’ll fill the world with love and kindness.)
(If I do that, Yuuta-kun, then you won’t have anyone to hold a grudge against anymore, right?)
Yuuta: (…You’re really arrogant.)
(But it’s fine. You and I are twin brothers, Aniki, but we’re two separate people. I have no right to stop you from doing what you want to do.)
Yuuta: (Sure, there may be kind people in this world out there. But, the number of them is still overwhelmingly small.)
(If you ever get devastated by that cruel truth and frustrated by that reality, Aniki… I’ll be watching you from the side, laughing.)
(And when you hit rock bottom and become the same creature as me, we’ll fight side by side for the “same cause” together again.)
Hinata: (That day will never come. No, I’ll do whatever I can to ensure that.)
Yuuta: (Then it’s a match to see which of our desired futures will come to be first, huh?)
(I won’t lose, Hinata-kun.)
Hinata: (I have no intention of losing either, Yuuta-kun.)
Yuuta & Hinata: “♪~♪~♪”
[ ☆ ]
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A reference to The Spiders Thread, a story by Ryūnosuke Akutagawa where a spider's thread is descended into hell by Buddha, giving the protagonist a chance to climb himself out. Upon seeing others grab onto and try to climb the thread behind him, he shouts that the thread is his alone; at that moment the thread snaps, plunging them all back down. The story is about compassion.
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Hi there! :D I saw that the Match event was open, so I hope to be in time to place my order with TWST boys! 🌻Info about me!🌼
MBTI: ENFP (but I'm an ambivert, I don't mind taking the role of introversion or extroversion depending on the situation.
Personality: I am calm but cheerful and sweet. I like to help and take care of those close to me and I always want to better understand people's hearts and how they understand or see the world from their perspective. I can be a little sleepyhead and little procrastinator but without neglecting my important duties. Sometimes I can be somewhat clueless or clumsy in things but I always try to do my best. People often say that I'm "a smart fool" sometimes I don't understand or grasp "obvious" or simple things, it's hard for me to grasp or learn something the first time.
But I understand and understand well my feelings and the feelings of the people around me. I do not like injustices or those who take advantage of others and I am willing to protect someone, Being a helping hand, even if i are not the strongest or bravest person. I like sweet food, I like to draw and the arts, I want to have a calm, simple and happy life. I like me I would like to live from gratitude for the simple fact of being grateful to this world and its people, either by being someone who can make this world a little happier with my ideas and support.
Hiya! Thank you so much for your request! As a fellow Ambivert, I had a LOT of fun on writing this. Just gotta know your people! I hope you enjoy! Did not see a romantic of platonic preference so romantic is default.
CW: just a little violence, given this boys particular upbringing but nothing to detailed
I match you with........
Ruggie Bucchi
🍩 First and foremost, Ruggie loves just how understanding you can be of others and the situation that they are currently in or have been in in the past. With his upbringing living in what is basically the slums, seeing the violence that he did, not knowing when he was going to have another meal, while trying to protect himself and his family, sometimes by unsavory means, it means a lot to him that you try to understand things from his perspective of things. It shows that you really do care.
🍩 Ruggie has a lot of street smarts and certainly book smarts after everything, and with how much you love to be able to help him and others, he'll certainly repay the favor.... sometimes for a price. Hey, old habits die hard. But if you bring him some sweets, especially donuts, you're all good to go.
🍩 Being another sweets lover, I feel that sweets weren't always something he could enjoy growing up given where he had grown up. So, for you to just come along and just gift him some sweets that you had, especially if it was like a box of donuts you managed to get your hands on, he is over the moon. Sure, at first he was rather skeptical. After all, who woukd just gave away their food for free? Everything has a price. But after a while, he just got rather used to itand welcomes it with open arms and an open mouth.
🍩 The fact that you are always so willing to help others around you tugs at his heart. What sealed the deal was when he took you to his home during break, he was honestly very nervous that when you saw where and how be lived and grew up, you'd leave, only to be pleasantly surprised when you instantly offered to help those who needed it. At this point, the whole village loves you and is always asking Ruggie when you would visit again, especially his grandmother, she absolutely adores you.
🍩 A calm, simple, and happy life. Deep down, he wants it as well. A life where he doesn't have to worry about putting food on the table, or wonder if anything horrible is going to happen. A simple life with you, it makes him smile. I can see him being a bit of a minimalist goven his upbringing and being happy with the little things, so, as long as he has you, and maybe a nice little home with you in the future, he is as happy as can be.
🍩 He understands your sleepiness. After a very long day of studies, spelldrive practice, doing errands for Leona, he is exhausted by the end of the day. So, the fact that he gets to come back for snuggles and a good nap? His tail is thumping softly as he curls in your arms. Granted, it is a little hard to actually get him to that point. Time is money after all, but with some sweet words and the promise of donuts, he will be putty in your arms and is just cuddling under the blankets.
🍩 As a male hyena beastman, there are times where it definitely more submissive, as is male hyena behavior when around females. So, at times, this behavior will reflect when he is with you, but deep down, he also loves it when he gets to protect you at various times. It floods him with a sense of accomplishment and pride to show he can be a good, protective, and providing mate.
🍩 Ruggie, after a while, is big on giving you gifts. Whether it comes from him wanting to show that he can provide for you or because he feels the need to give them to you so you'll stay with him (he has a little issues on self worth , he just doesn't want you to leave him if he feels like he can't provide), we may never know. But he will manage to get materilea for you for your love of drawing. No matter what it is, he manages to find a sale and is constantly bringing you anything you'd like.
🍩 Overall, there are times where Ruggie is still rather confused as to why you chose someone like him to be with when there are literal princes in this school, but at the end of the day, he isn't complaining. You love him for who he is and he loves you for who you are.
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#twst#matchups#twst imagines#disney twisted wonderland#romantic#ruggie#ruggie bucci x reader#twst ruggie#ruggie x reader#ruggie bucchi#shy answers#shy writes
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