spiegelgestalt
Going through the looking glass
and back again
34 years old, she/they, I mostly blog and ramble about the deeper implications of stuff that interests me.
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Between Subarus earth vocabulary and general weirdness, Garfiels weird sayings, Emilia using lingo from 100 years ago and Rowaals, well... being Roswaal talking to the Emilia camp must be hellish
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That is one of the things i like about the world building in apothecary diaries. it constantly shows the effort that is needed to maintain it's world. (from the beauty regimen of the harem women, to the scene were the dirty clothes of the medicinal stuff have to be washed, to the dangers of creating a big go tournament - a lot of details have to be thought of) It's basically a story about women who organize
Yo I feel like the idea that the only historical women who counted are the ones who defied society and took on the traditionally male roles is… not actually that feminist. It IS important that women throughout history were warriors and strategists and politicians and businesswomen, but so many of us were “lowly” weavers and bakers and wives and mothers and I feel like dismissing THOSE roles dismisses so many of our mothers and grandmothers and great-grandmothers and the shit they did to support our civilization with so little thanks or recognition.
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I cracked the case
Re:zero is just a story about people who due to various reasons refuse to leave their room. Check the tags for details.
#Roswaal#Emilia#Subaru#Beatrice#Garfiel#arguably Rem#Petelgeuse romanee conti#leaves his room but only goes to nerd conventions#Roswaal is a special case because he leaves his room while emotionally not leaving his room#Emilia only left her room because she felt guilty#Subaru was prevented from staying in his room by magic#Echidna is a special case#because she's dead#but she's actively preventing people from leaving their room
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Emilia really told Subaru in the first loop of Arc 3 (? Or is it 4? I mean the the sanctuary Arc) what she needs from him. And he was doing well... But than Roswaal, Garfiel and Echidna come in and ruin everything...
#Re:zero#I'm also convinced that the trials are meant to break you so you are more open to form a contract with Echidna#Spiegel rewatches Re:zero#Spoiler#Also a hot take: I understand why Rem was fridged - her presence would have fucked up Roswaals plans soooo much#As a writer I get it
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After poking around some more in the YouTube Re:zero analysis sphere i once again realize that my takes on re:zero are just vastly different than what is out there.
I just heard that Emilia is mentally a child at the end of season 2 and that's why she's not capable to form a relationship with Subaru...
Is... Is that fan consensus? Did I miss something? Is that how that relationship develops in the LN/WN?
Or is that just a horrible horrible take from a salty Rem/Subaru shipper?
#Re:zero#Emilia#re:zero spoilers#Wtf is happening#And why is everyone convinced that rem/Subaru is healthy?#Yes rem had a very nice and moving speech#But her hero worship comes from her own low self esteem#And she canonically watched Subaru sleep (like Edward Cullen)#And that's nothing against that ship#I just don't like that it's often presented as vastly superior to Emilia/Subaru
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I take great offense when people call Subaru Jesus/ a Jesuslike figure. He's obviously Petrus. Emilia is our one true savior. Get your facts right!
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no more cold and calculating i want warm and calculating. i want characters who use deductive reasoning to figure out whether their friend would like a wool or cotton quilt based off of their lifestyle, career, hobbies, and habits. i want "your nails are often chipped because you work for a law firm as a typist for this company which notoriously underbudgets their IT department, so ive bought you a keyboard cover that will not only prevent manicure damage but is also sensory friendly because I know you dislike certain clicking noises". i want characters who figure out their friends entire schedules and social battery levels just by examining who only use that info to know when the best time is to hang out with them. i want characters who create elaborate, supervillain level schemes just to get their hands on some collectible they know their best friend wants. most of all i want characters who do not use intelligence and reasoning skills as a reason to be cruel but as a means to be kind
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There should be a fanfic writing game called the showrunners challenge where someone writes a story and partway through someone else can play things like "actor leaves after 4000 more words" or "topic now too politically sensitive due to unforeseen world events" or "lost rights to that reference"
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The other best part of TGCF is when when Xie Lian realizes that Hua Cheng is Wuming, and Hua Cheng turns the words "it's you, not the state of you" back onto Xie Lian.
I felt those words were supposed to be powerful the first time, when Xie Lian said them to Hua Cheng, but they didn't really work for me then. Sure, who you are deep down matters, but it also really, really matters what you do. So while it seemed a nice sentiment, it didn't really resonate with me.
But when Hua Cheng says that to Xie Lian, we understand the states that Xie Lian has been in--not just the state where he was about to commit genocide. And not just the state where he was drunk and falling in the mud and being kind of a fool.
In particular, we saw the state in which he was a shitty friend and shitty son and didn't communicate and grew small and immature and petty and cruel. The state where he screamed at his mom when she wanted to help him and find out what was wrong, then slammed the door in her face. The state where he doubted the friend who had given up literally everything for him and threw it in Feng Xin's face.
That is the state that will always stick with me, because stories like this really like to show a good guy going full-on dark, or--more rarely--a good guy going full on Fool. What you don't see as much in stories like these is a character like Xie Lian, who has been the most graceful of all, falling from grace into someone who is simply small. He's small. He's petty and thoughtless and selfish and immature.
Except, when he is being that way, your heart is absolutely breaking for him. You love him even more. You understand why this is happening to him and you, the reader, are crying for him and bleeding for him and loving him, loving him, loving him. You feel, viscerally, how deeply he is suffering to behave this way. You love everything he is even when he's being a dickface brat to Feng Xin and his parents.
Such that when Hua Cheng says "I love you, not the state of you," you get a new and deeper and kind of...incalculable, overwhelming sense that this is actually true, that we will all be our best and be our worst and that no matter which of those states we're in, we can still be loved. Not because of our actions, but because someone can just love who we are. Not because we're good deep down. But because we're us.
Humans aren't out there with their rulers judging whether you're good enough or kind enough or worthy enough. We just love because we're us and we love you because you're you.
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So I finished LN 1 and immediately started LN 2 (and am currently at chapter 3) and I thought before I go on I should take a minute and collect my thoughts
Random yelling under the cut:
the first loop is kinda like a tutorial quest for Subaru. He learns nothing from it.
or to say it more precisely he learns the wrong lessons: Subaru kinda bumbles himself into a win during the first loop. None of what helped him win was planned. And to say it more precisely, what helped him win were random acts of kindness: Reinhard deciding to help while not on duty, Emilia saving that child and showing her nature through that, Subaru empathizing with Felt and Rom and winning there trust that way, Subaru letting Felt go because she is fifteen and he is seventeen (and that scene gave me feelings - he is such a good boy!!!) Felt deciding to not run away but instead to run screaming and crying to the main road and than Reinhard once again deciding to help. Kindness is important. Kindness can change the world. Being kind and helping others is the way forward. ( and in a way you could argue that Emilia was saved in the end because she decided to be kind to a random stranger with a particular ability - I'm actually really curious what happened in the run where Subaru died immediately - did Emilia survive, did she get her crest back, how much did Subaru change)
So Subaru could have learned a lot here: sometimes it's better to be the coward who lives instead of being the heroic fool in everyone's way; it's important to be kind, and also important to let others be kind to you; he's in an incredible weak position so it's important to learn as much as he can as fast as he can, Emilia is kinda badass... There could have been a lot
Sadly Subaru is trapped in a heroic fantasy and decided to rework the whole situation in a way where only the last moment counts were he took the hit for her and learned: I need to be a hero and do awesome stuff to be loved AND there is a right way to do things (there isn't)
its pretty telling that in the moment were Emilia smiles and tells him her name he says "it's not worth it at all" because what Subaru actually wants is Emilia to be indebted to him for the rest of her life, she's supposed to be the reward for all his suffering (no wonder he becomes resentful once she tries to distance herself) and so Emilia becomes Emilia-tan and Subaru will start to ignore every hint that she is waaaaay out of his league and that she doesn't need a protector
The last chapter from Reinhards perspective was really funny. Watching the series I never realized how low Reinhards self esteem is. I always thought he was just humble
The relationship between Felt and Rom was really sweet. I really hope they see each other again
Found family is a big theme in re:zero
I never realized how cold/emotionless Puck is
Spoiler for LN 2:They really sanded down Subarus edges for the anime. The scene were he pets Emilia's hair as a reward is suuuper uncomfortable (i still think he is a good boy at heart though)
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Found family is such a huge theme in the Apothecary Diaries.
You have Luomen, raising Maomo from a young age, despite her being biologically his grandniece, but raising her anyway.
You have the Madame of the Verdigris House, who is Maomao’s maternal grandmother, but never tells her. She takes care of Maomao, helps raise her in the brothel the best she can, but tries not to show how fond she is of her.
You have Meimei, Joka, & Pairin, three famous courtesans at the Verdigris House who not only physically raised Maomao in her infancy (an imperfect process, as to be expected when one tries to collectively raise a baby in a brothel), but also breastfed her. These women staunchly refer to themselves as Maomao’s sisters, despite having been old enough to be her parents themselves.
You have Gyokuyou, who doesn’t have a good relationship with her own family, and actively distrusts them. She invests wholly in the women she instates as her ladies-in-waiting, treating them, instead, as her family, and as the only people she truly trusts. It’s for this reason that she asks for Maomao to return to her service over and over: because she trusts her, she loves her as a member of her own household. She shows defiance and even possessiveness when Jinshi’s involvement keeps Maomao from being her lady-in-waiting permanently, as truly trustworthy people are so hard to find, in her world.
You have Lakan, who adopted his nephew Lahan when Lahan’s own family rejected his genius and his potential for growth. Lakan, in general, tends to take in orphans and young children into his estate as servants, when he can tell they have specific talents that would be wasted when they grew older. One of his hobbies is fostering the talents of these strays he takes into his employ. Even if his motives are grey, he still drastically changes their lives for the better.
You have Chou-u, who Maomao indirectly adopted as her own (even though, age-wise, he’s closer to a brother figure for her). Since he’s lost his memories, Maomao is all he knows as a parental figure. She let him live with her, she tried teaching him medicine like Luomen did for her (even though it didn’t resonate with him). And when Maomao spends long stints away from the pleasure district, Chou-u experiences acute separation anxiety, though it slowly improves over time.
You have Ah-Duo, who acted as a surrogate mother to Lishu for both of Lishu’s tenures in the rear palace. Ah-Duo couldn’t have a normal relationship with her own child (Jinshi), so she doted on Lishu instead. This was a truly symbiotic relationship for them, as Lishu, for the longest time, had very few people she could trust or rely on as a friend when she was a consort.
And these are just the relationships I can think of at the moment!! The story has so many bonds like this. It’s one of my absolute favorite aspects of the series, and one that I think Natsu Hyuuga handles incredibly well.
#kusuriya no hitorigoto spoilers#kusuriya no hitorigoto#And next to the theme of the found family we have a lot of broken biological families#The Ma-Clan is actually one of the more functional families in knh and that's saying something
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Hey guys! As a writer myself, it’s hard to have a lot of resources for writing in one place. That’s why I decided to create this masterpost, and maybe make more if I find future resources. I hope you like it, and expect to see more masterposts like this in the future!
Generators
Character
Appearance Generator
Archetypes Generator
Character Generator
Character Traits Generator
Family Generator
Job/Occupation Generator, (II)
Love Interest Generator
Motive Generator
Name Generator
Personality Generator, (II)
Quick Character Generator
Super Powers Generator
Names
Brand Name Generator
Medicine Title Generator
Name Generator
Quick Name Generator
Vehicle Generator
Town Name Generator
Plot
First Encounter Generator
First Line Generator, (II)
Plot Generator, (II), (III)
Plot Device Generator
Plot Twist Generator
Quick Plot Generator
Setting/World-Building
City Generator
Fantasy Race Generator
Laws Generator
Pet Generator
Setting Generator
Species Generator
Terrain Generator
Prompts
Subject Generator
”Take Three Nouns” Generator
Word Prompt Generator
Misc
Color Generator
Decision Generator
Dialogue Generator
Journey Generator
Title Generator, (II), (III)
Some Tips
Just a few I found from the writing tips tag!
Writing action / @berrybird
How to create a strong voice in your writing / @collegerefs
How to plot a complex novel in one day! / @lizard-is-writing
8 ways to get past writer’s block / @kiramartinauthor
psa for writers / @dasakuryo
”Write Using Your 5 Senses” / @ambientwriting
How People Watching Improves Your Writing / @wherethetransthingsare
Writing Science Fiction: Tips for Beginners / @fictionwritingtips
Creating Likeable Characters / @authors-haven
Vocabulary
Descriptive words / @somekindofstudent
Words to replace “Said” / @msocasey
Obscure color words / @mintsteelpeachlilac
Words to spice up your stories / @busyibee
Words to describe someone’s voice
Words to Use Instead of Very / @gaybybirth
Touchy Feely Words / @gaybybirth
Some Advice
Stephen King’s Top 20 Rules for Writers
”But my plot isn’t UNIQUE or BIG enough!” / @youreallwrite
8 Things Every Creative Should Know / @adamjk
(How To) Get Over Comparing Yourself to Other Creatives / @adamjk
How to Get Over Common Creative Fears (Maybe) / @adamjk
14 Tips From Stephen King On Writing / @i-can-give-you-prompts
Playlists
Electronic Thoughts / @eruditekid
“Mix About Writing” An Instrumental Mix / @shadowofemirates
Shut Up, I’m Writing! / @ninadropdead
Chill / @endlessreveries
Breathtaking Film Scores / @tweedskirts
Music to Write to Vol. 1: Starlight / @crestadeen
Music for Written Words / @ghoulpatch
Dead Men Tell No Tales / @scamandersnewt
Fatale / @dolcegf
All These Things that I’ve Done / @referenceforwriters
Feeling Soaking into Your Bones / @verylondon
I Can Feel Your Pulse in the Pages / @rphelper
Morally Ambiguous / @scamandersnewt
Wonderwall / @wheelerwrites
Pythia / @mazikeene
Ballet: To Dance / @tanaquil
Websites and Apps
For Writing
ZenPen: A minimalist writing website to keep you free of distractions and in the flow.
The Most Dangerous Writing App: A website where you have to keep typing or all of your writing will be lost. It helps you keep writing…kind of. You can choose between a time or word count limit!
Evernote: An online website where you can take notes and save the product to your laptop and/or smartphone!
Writer, the Internet Typewriter: It’s just you and your writing, and you can save your product on the website if you create an account.
Wordcounter: A website to help check your word and character count, and shows words you’re using frequently.
Monospace: An Android app for writing on the go when you feel the inspiration, but you don’t have your laptop on you!
For Productivity
Tide: An app that combines a pomodoro-esque timer with nature sounds and other noises! (Google Play / Apple Store)
ClearFocus: An Android app with a pomodoro-type time counter to let you concentrate easier and stay productive.
Forest: An app with a time counter to keep you focused and off your phone, and when you complete the time limit, a tree grows in your garden! (Google Play / Apple Store)
SelfControl: A Mac downloadable app that blocks you from distracting mail servers, websites, and other things!
Prompt Blogs
@writeworld
@dialouge-prompts
@oopsprompts
@prompts-for-the-otp
@creativepromptsforwriting
@the-modern-typewriter
@theprofessionalpromptmaker
@writers-are-writers
@otp-imagines-cult
@witterprompts
@havetobememes
@auideas
@putthepromptsonpaper
@promptsonpaper
@fyotpprompts
@otpisms
@soprompt
@otpprompts
@ablockforwritersblock
@awritersnook
Writing Tips Blogs
@writeworld
@anomalously-written
@awritersnook
@clevergirlhelps
@referenceforwriters
@whataboutwriting
@thewritershelpers
@nimblesnotebook
@slitheringink
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the apothecary diaries basically took over my life for the last few weeks and I need more immediately
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I suppose it is neither unfair nor untrue to say that Subaru craves connectivity to other humans, something that was certainly fostered by his youth, which was plagued by loneliness and isolation due to his more than complex relation to his father, his imposter syndrome as well has his anxiety disorder, all of which came to their worst climax in his high school years.
Of course, as soon as he is reincarnated and can "start from zero" as the title of the series would imply, he takes the opportunity to reconnect with others, as many of us would do too. However, due to the inherently isolating nature of RBD, he quickly falls back into his old habits of searching for connectivity without actually baring his true self to others. Of course RBD isn't completely at fault for such behavior, Subaru still carries wounds from his past, he never confronted his issues nor did he unlearn harmful habits, even with a "fresh start", it was impossible to truly get better.
[Side note: I do really enjoy that re:zero does not just take into account Subaru's previous life, but also the hardships he had to face back then and doesn't make them seem like lesser struggles in comparison to his newer problems]
Of course, caring about someone deeply and them forgetting about you entirely, as would be the case with RBD, could, at its worst, break almost everyone. So it is not strange, in fact, that Subaru, who is already starved for connectivity, would come across as near obsessive over the people he cared about, especially from the perspective of others who do not remember him from previous loops.
My man Otto doesn't have that fucking excuse tho, he saw Subaru for like a minute and was like "hey is anybody gonna obsesse over that?" and not wait for an answer, my man is ready to kill not just himself but eradicate entire fucking countries for Subaru, there is clearly something wrong with him and being around Subaru clearly unlocked some awful part of his brain
#Re:zero#Re:zero spoilers#Natsuki Subaru#Ottos behavior makes me think he is a version of Satella#I don't have proof#Just that the conversation between Subaru/Otto mid season 2 makes way more sense that way#He's at least connected in some way
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So I started reading the LN for re:zero. My first impression? Subaru is way more cringe/otaku/useless than in the series AND he still somehow has charisma coming out of his ears. He truly doesn't know where his strengths lie. It's like watching a bard insisting that what he actually should be is a barbarian.
I mean you do you I guess but maybe those skill points could be put to better use?
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After watching Cinderella (the original animated movie, which was my favorite as a child), it strikes me how it solves many common problems people have with this fairy tale. Like:
Why did they try to identify the mystery girl using her shoe size? Because the bullheaded king's only clue to her identity was the shoe the Grand Duke picked up off the steps.
Why didn't the prince recognize her by her face? Because his father wouldn't involve him in the process at all, and wasn't the one going around trying to find her.
Why did the prince want to marry a lady he only met that night? Because his father was going to force him to marry someone, and he genuinely liked this woman.
Why did Cinderella want to marry a man she only met that night? Because marriage was her best and most secure way to freedom. Fucked up, but you can't say it's unrealistic for the setting of a fairy tale. She also genuinely liked him.
If they're using the slipper to find her, wouldn't it be more sensible to search for the person with the other slipper? Yes. The King is purposefully nonsensical and the Duke is purposefully terrified enough of him to carry out his orders to the letter. Furthermore, they end up doing that in the end anyway, because the Duke's glass slipper is shattered, and Cinderella brings out the one she has to prove her identity.
Why didn't the stepmother and stepsisters recognize Cinderella at the ball? Because they were dancing too far away, and then left the party to dance in private, which was possible because the King wanted very badly for his son to hit it off with someone and tried to arrange the best conditions for that to happen.
Why didn't Cinderella save herself? Because in real life, abuse victims should not have to shoulder that responsibility, and usually can't. In real life, you need and deserve an external support system. Asking for help, in this kind of situation, is very important. She is saved by others because she is loved. Because she is not alone. Because she has friends who love her, and want her to be happy and safe and free. Because in real life, people who want to help someone who is suffering are like the mice. We can't pull out miracle solutions, but we can provide companionship and if we're in the right place at the right time, we can help the person find a better life.
Why didn't the fairy godmother save Cinderella from her abusive household, or try to help her sooner? Because she's magic, and magic can't solve your problems. Quote: "Like all dreams, well, I'm afraid it can't last forever." This (and Cinderella's dream of going to the ball) is a metaphor for pleasurable things in bad circumstances. An ice cream won't get rid of your depression, but it will provide you with momentary happiness to bolster you, as well as the reminder that happiness in general is still possible for you. Cinderella doesn't want to go to the ball so she can get away from her stepmother and stepsisters, or so she can meet someone to marry and leave with. She wants to go to the ball to remind herself that she can still have things she wants. That her desires matter. This is important because the movie does a very good job of illustrating Lady Tremaine's subtle abuse tactics, all of which invisibly press the message that Cinderella doesn't matter. While going to the ball and fulfilling her dreams may not be a victory in the material sense, it is still a victory against Lady Tremaine's efforts.
Why is Cinderella's choice to be kind and obedient framed as a good thing, when you are not obligated to be kind to your abuser? This one walks a very fine line, but I think the movie still makes it make sense. Lady Tremaine never acknowledges her cruelty. She always frames her punishments of Cinderella as Cinderella's fault. Cinderella is interrupting, Cinderella is shirking her duties, Cinderella is playing vicious practical jokes. Cinderella is still a member of the family, of course she can go to the ball, provided she meet these impossible conditions. Lady Tremaine's tactics are designed to make Cinderella feel like she must always be in the wrong and her stepmother must always be in the right. If Cinderella calls her stepmother out on her cruelty, or attempts to fight back, Lady Tremaine can frame that as Cinderella being ungrateful, cruel, broken, evil, etc. If Cinderella responds to her stepmother's cruelty defiantly (in the way she's justified to), she's not taking control out of Lady Tremaine's hands. Disobedience can be spun back into her stepmother's control. She wants Cinderella to be angry and sad and show how much she's hurting. So since Cinderella is adapting to her situation, she chooses to be kind. Not only because she naturally wants to be and it's part of her personality, but because it is a form of defiance in its own way, and it allows her to keep a reminder of her agency and value. Her choice to be kind is her chance to keep her own narrative alive: she is not obeying because her stepmother wants her to and she has to do what her stepmother does, but because she wants to. It's a small distinction, but one that makes all the difference in terms of keeping her hope and identity. (Fuck, I wrote a whole paragraph about how this doesn't mean you can't be angry at people who hurt you or that you need to be kind to deserve help, and then deleted it by accident. Uh. Try again.) Expressing anger and pain is an important part of regaining autonomy and healing. Although it is commendable to be kind while you are suffering, it is NOT required for you to get help or be worthy of help. If Cinderella's recovery was explored beyond "happily ever after" she would need to let herself be angry and sad to heal. Cinderella is not only kind because it comes naturally to her, but because it's her defense against the abuse she's suffering. Everyone's story and experiences are different, and one does not invalidate the other.
Bonus round for answers that aren't part of the movie:
Why didn't Cinderella run away? Where would she go? Genuinely, in hundreds-of-years-ago France, where would she go if she snuck out of the window with a change of clothes? With her step-family, she's miserable and abused, but she's fed, clothed, and in no danger of dying or being taken advantage of by anyone other than her stepmother and stepsisters. Even if she escapes and manages to find financial security, her stepmother might be able to find her and get her back.
Why didn't Cinderella burn the house down with them inside it/slit their throats in the night/poison their food/etc.? Because that's a revenge fantasy, and this story is a fantasy about being saved. There's nothing wrong with making Cinderella into a revenge fantasy. That's perfectly fine, as long as you acknowledge that the other type of fantasy is also a valid interpretation. (I mean, the original fairy tale features the stepsisters getting their feet mutilated and all three of them getting their eyes pecked out, so go for it.)
Why isn't Cinderella more proactive in general? Because she's a child who has been abused for the back half of her life, who has had to be focused on survival because. you know. she's an abused kid.
How did she dance in glass slippers? Gotta agree with you there man, that's weird.
#The glass slippers are weird#But I agree with everything else#And I have a rant in me how often being a independent strong woman is Chiffre for doing everything alone. And how this is bullshit
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