#it made me see her in a different light because i saw all the symptoms in her too
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Love of my Life - Pt.1
Eddie Munson x fem Reader
Summary: Eddie and you broke up months ago and still hurts like hell, but you know what hurts more? Seeing the love of your life in danger thanks to Vecna.
Note: I wanted to do a scenario where instead of Max being tormented by Vecna is reader and Eddie is there to help them. This is part 1 (I might post part 2 tomorrow). Hope you like it <3
Based on the song “Love of my life” From Queen
Requested? No
Love of my Life pt. 2
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It's been 6 months since you and Eddie broke up because of a misunderstanding, and honestly, since then, you haven't been doing well at all. At first you could barely leave your room and as time went by you could go out again with your friends until you managed to find a balance in your life again. However, this past week has been terrible for you, every night you dream of the fight that caused your breakup, then you see horrible things happening to Eddie and at the end of the dream, you could see a being that you didn´t know staring at you, causing you to wake up every night at the same time trying to hold on to something to calm down.
These nightmares have made you stay awake at night, thanks to this you would look tired making all your friends worried about you, even a metal lover wondered about you every day as he saw you in the distance worried, but he knew that he himself would not hold back tears if he talked to you again after having committed the stupidity of not having followed you that disastrous night.
"(y/n), can you please accompany me to my office" The advisor asked you at recess, making you look her tiredly in the eye. Another difficult night. You stood up heavily and followed her as you shuffled your feet, the voices of the others were giving you a terrible headache. The walk to the consultant's office seemed to take forever and you were thankful she allowed you to sit down.
"What's the matter? You haven't been looking well lately. It's because of what happened with Eddie Mun..."- you interrupted her. "Please, I don't want to talk about him right now. The only thing I have is tiredness, I haven't been able to sleep well and that's giving me several headaches" you said covering your eyes to avoid the light transforming your pain into a migraine.
"And are you already taking something?" asked the woman in front of you as she wrote your symptoms on a sheet of paper.
"yes, pills for the pain and for the sleep I'm just trying to meditate and pray that I can finally rest."
"but it hasn't worked"
"obviously not" you replied angrily.
"please take this and go home and try to rest, I guess you need it" she said handing you a permission slip to leave. You took it, grabbed your things and quietly left.
The corridors were finally alone, there was no noise around, a quiet moment. When you reached your locker, you put down some books so as not to carry extra weight and closed it carefully so as not to provoke your pain even more. When you took one more step everything around you changed completely, it was the high school but something was different, it looked darker and spookier, in the distance you could hear some bells ringing. With some fear, you decided to look for it to see what it was about, at the end of the corridor you found a huge old clock, in the reflection of the glass you could see the creature of your nightmares staring at you. This caused you to scream and the school looked normal again.
Thanks to this you ran out of the place and didn't stop until you reached your house. Inside the house you threw your backpack on the couch and went upstairs to your room where you laid yourself on your bed to get some sleep.
Hours later you woke up thanks to someone knocking on the door of your house like crazy, angrily you went downstairs and opened it with force. There stood Dustin, behind him Steve's car with Steve, Robin and Max inside.
"We need you" Dustin said quickly. "Eddie is missing and we think he's in danger, please help us. We have a lead on where he might be but we don't know if we are right or wrong." This made the sleepiness go away. Eddie? In danger?
"Tell me everything Dustin..."
Along the way the four of them were explaining to you what had happened because of Hawking, about portals and Russians, they also mentioned to you what happened with Chrissy while she was with Eddie at his house. At this point you didn't know whether to be jealous or terrified of what was happening, Eddie would never kill someone, yes, he might be an idiot but not a murderer. Fear gripped you as Max explained Chrissy's symptoms and that maybe those were signs of the next victims.
"Those symptoms are severe headaches, nightmares and..." you interrupted Max.
"Visions?"
"…How do you know?" asks Dustin
"because apparently I am the next victim" you answered with tears in your eyes, this caused everyone in the car to be silent for a moment, you didn't know if it was because of the shock of the news or because they wanted to give you a moment to think about what was going to happen if they didn't do something fast. The drive to get to the house where Eddie was supposed to be was long, there Steve parked and everyone got out to look for your ex.
Inside the house everyone split up to search, it wasn't long before Eddie decided to come out and threaten Steve causing everyone to look at him in shock and convince him to let Steve go. You stood back silently to watch him, his shoulders were tense, his hands were shaking, his eyes were not the same since the last time you decided to see him, Eddie was scared, he was horrified and didn't know what to do. Your trance was broken when he pointed at you.
"and what is she doing here?" said Eddie staring at you, the question making you angry.
"I came to help you idiot, it would be best if you were grateful."
"honestly I'd rather you weren't here."
Wow, that really hurt.
"She, just like you, you idiot, is in danger. What happened to Chrissy, she might be next one" Steve replied angrily causing Eddie to look at you in fear.
"And she will stay with you while we look for Vecna" Robin said, this made you and Eddie look at her.
"what do you mean I'm going to stay with him?" you asked
"we don't want to take you, if we meet Vecna it would be taking you straight to him and that's the last thing we want" Max said
"Besides, Eddie can keep you conscious and help you in case you have another vision" continued Dustin
“That’s not as reassuring as you think it is Dustin” you answered.
“Anything you need here´s the walkie-talkie, use it” said Robin
“yes mom” answered Eddie mockingly
The four of you quietly walked out leaving you and Eddie alone, you both watched Steve's car drive off, and it wasn't until you could no longer see it that you decided to go and sit down, the day had been very tiring and one more rest wouldn't be bad. Slowly Eddie followed you over to sit next to you.
"So how have you been?" asked Eddie
"normal, some days better than others... you?"
"same, it's not the same as before..."
"obviously it's not the same as before Eddie"
"no! What I mean..."
"I know, but that's how it happens"
"I shouldn't have, I was an idiot and I should have been there for you."
"yes, you were, but you can't change the past" you sighed then leaned your head on his shoulder
"believe me, if I could I would" Eddie replied as he laid his head on top of yours. "you know, if you want to sleep do it, I've seen you at school, you don't look so good".
"gee, thanks Eddie, that's all a girl wants to hear" you teased. "but I'll take the offer, if I'm feeling too tired" Eddie moved you a little to stand up, take off his jacket and put it over your shoulders.
"don't worry, rest, I'll be here to protect you" was the last thing you heard before you fell asleep.
You finally got a peaceful night's sleep, one with no nightmares, no pain and no people chasing you. It seems that being with Eddie does relax you after all. When you woke up you saw Eddie in front of you trying to contact Dustin.
"Eddie… what are you doing?" you asked as you rubbed your eyes.
"Trying to talk to the boy, we don't have much food and I need to ask you for something."
"Eddie there is nothing here?" you got up trying to look for food, apparently it was just a simple room. When you didn't hear Eddie's voice you turned to ask him again. "Eddie I told you-" he was no longer in the room, you tried to look for him with your eyes but he was nowhere to be found, you kept looking for him until a noise interrupted you.
The clock was behind you again.
Turning around you approached to check it only to find that being that has been chasing itself. You quickly reacted and decided to run, leaving the place where you were you saw that it was no longer the lake, but a reddish colored place with parts of houses floating.
"girl… come with me… I can stop your suffering…" said a deep voice behind you.
When you turned around you saw Vecna facing you as he grabbed you by the neck to lift you up and carry you to where Chrissy and a boy you didn't know were stuck, both disfigured in body and face, plus they had no eyes. Was that what was going to happen to you? You hoped not.
Meanwhile, Eddie was frantically trying to wake you up, he had already experienced this with Chrissy and he doesn't want the same thing that happened to her to happen to you.
"DUSTIN… DUSTIN RESPOND, IT'S HAPPENING" Eddie shouted over the walkie-talkie desperately on the verge of tears. "MAX, ROBIN, HARRINGTON, SOMEBODY ANSWER" when he received no answer he threw the device and went to you, took your face in his hands and tried to wake you up.
"please… fight… you can't leave me… I can't lose you, after all we've been through… please come back to me" sobbed Eddie.
#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson blurb#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson imagine#eddie munson#stranger things imagine#stranger things one shot#eddie munson angst
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hello…life updates lol
i saw the little mermaid with my mom and my niece (we went on my mom’s birthday 💌) and i loved it??!? i think halle was the perfect choice for ariel!! i was so enchanted by her mannerisms the entire film. she’s got such an otherworldly beauty so paired with her voice she REALLY looks and feels like a disney princess…loved her so much. no comment on awkwafina’s unfortunate addition to the film
we’re restarting one of our long running dnd campaigns and i’m pretty sad about it ❤️🩹 it’s the best choice because the setting was made by our DM a long time ago and she wants a reset because she’s improved her narration/lore/etc since its creation but it’s still sad and hard to let go. i’m really excited to relive some of my favorite moments with some new twists and i have a deeper understanding of my character now so i think i’ll only end up loving her more as i replay her. dnd with my friends is truly one of my favorite hobbies and it’s so important to me! there have been so many changes throughout the years i’ve played but i’m so glad to still be playing despite it because it’s very fun and therapeutic lol
i got a raise at work 🫨 not that it makes much of a difference LMFAO but i was seriously considering leaving my job before my raise so it’s nice to be making a little more money. the cost of living in washington is so insane that i feel really unsure of my future lol but it’s seriously my dream to own my own house. just a little one story house that i can call my own. i know it seems like a small dream lol but it’s literally my number one motivation and i’m always daydreaming about how i’d decorate my own home inside and out!!
i finally bought tears of the kingdom and i’ve been obsessed with it!!! not surprised because i loved breath of the wild lol. i love link so much he’s such a cool protagonist. always wanted to be like him when i was a kid LMAOO either him or sheik! i would say i’m more like a deku scrub…💀 like look at this fella…
like….???!!!! THATS ME…the lil angry face. love these guys. anyways i love the game LMAO i hit about 50 hours and realized i should maybe try tackling my first dungeon 💀 it’s just so much fun to run around and collect ingredients and koroks…plus i have a little pack of zelda amiibo cards so every day i hop on and scan them all so i can open treasure chests as a little treat…love it!!! i can’t wait to see king sidon again btw. that’s the light of my life
ever since my OCD diagnosis i’ve been avoiding my therapist (L) and struggling to really understand why but i think it’s because i feel guilty about being diagnosed LMAO…i have like this weird fixation on unknowingly manipulating/lying to others and my brain keeps trying to convince me i manipulated her into a diagnosis. i don’t feel like i have “real” OCD if that makes sense. and i feel this weird sense of guilt about making light of it or like taking resources from people with real, severe OCD. it’s frustrating because i know that’s definitely a symptom of OCD but i also feel like none of my symptoms are legitimate and they’re just delusions. it’s incessant. which like logically is that probably just a symptom of the OCD? yeah but i also am having trouble admitting that to myself for some reason lol. at least not without guilt or shame attached and i really try to avoid feeling that way if i can. anyways it’s a real pain in the ass and i finally sucked it up and made an appointment for tomorrow so i can try to talk through some of this with her
i’m up and down a lot, it’s been the worst year of my life i think lol but somehow i’m still chugging along 💀 every day i put the rainbow clown wig back on and march thru my day despite it all though so it’s whatever i guess. definitely going thru my saturn return and ngl so far it sucks and i definitely hate it but you know! my 20s have been Not Great so maybe my 30s will be better for it. hope everyone is doing well and staying safe. let me know what you’re up to in my inbox if you want! i always like when people message me their life updates lol. it’s sweet when people think of me as someone they want to update ❣️
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While teaching small children the art of murder, Alisaie pauses to reflect on the feelings brought to her by the vision Emet-Selch showed us of the Final Days of Amaurot.
You say that, but the more I learn about the world that used to be and what happened to it, the more appealing the mask starts to look...
Such reminiscing prompts me to visit the lookout once more, where yet another fateful meeting is to take place...
It's me! The ancient me again!
...do mine eyes deceive me, or do I have a black mask? Perhaps that's just an effect of the lighting.
You're just as surprised to see me as I am to see you, aren't you?
These are Elidibus' memories? They're very distorted, at least compared to what I'm used to seeing. I notice the masks are all the same too, despite us knowing that each of the Convocation has a unique one. Is it stylized for simplicity? Or is there something wrong with Elidibus' recollection of the past..?
Yes. I did. I don't feel good about it, but it's the truth. I am as big a monster from your point of view as you are to mine.
Makes sense. In a frightfully short span of time I have done more to derail your plans that any other in your phenomenally long existence. You need to be rid of me, ere I extinguish all hope of ever healing the world.
Now I'm curious. Did you watch as it happened, or did you somehow see it after the fact? If you were there, why did you not step in to prevent his death? We won against Emet-Selch, certainly, but we'd have been hard-pressed to deal with two Ascians at once.
...No, I don't think you could have been there. You seemed to only realize that Emet-Selch was dead when I saw you on the moon. And, you did not know of his final words to us. So I wonder, how did you come to know the details of our fight?
You... have memory problems, don't you? Something not simply explained by time, I'd wager. Because I'm pretty sure you knew me, you shouldn't have seen the vision of the ancient me otherwise.
G'raha! Your arm!?
You bastard!
That's because he's rejoined an extra time.
Hang on, does Elidibus not know that? Emet-Selch figured it out... but if he didn't tell Elidibus before dying... Oh. Elidibus has no idea that G'raha is from a different version of the future... Thus he doesn't know about any of the things that made Emet kidnap the Exarch. Hmm. We'd be wise to keep that quiet then.
G'raha is fine. Totally fine. Except the crystal in his body is spreading. Because of how hard he's been working to help us. And despite him claiming he has a plan, and this is all okay... I worry for him.
Oh no, Thancred has collapsed! It seems the weak spells my friends have been having are symptoms of the weakening connection between their souls and bodies.
Looks like it's time for me to head back to the Source and check in on things there, where I find things have taken a turn for the worse...
Wow, it is super dark in here. Good thing I brought my glowy stick.
It is incredibly unsettling to see my friends laid out like bodies in a morgue. I know they're not dead, but the visual... it's worrying. A sign of what is to come if we don't manage to get their souls back where they belong, and soon.
#ffxiv liveblog#rhesh'a tag#alisaie leveilleur#elidibus#g'raha tia#crystal exarch#thancred waters#emet-selch
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Since When does the Fandom Hate Horses?
It absolutely baffles me that people out there hate the scene in RoP where Galadriel and Elendil go horse riding. Of all the things to be nit-picky about, you chose that?!?
I shit you not, I saw a review that complained that the horse riding scene was "a pointless usage of riding in slow motion and something PJ would have never wasted time on" (I'm paraphrasing here, but that was the gist).
Like, AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Seriously?
I so wish I could find that review again because it was so damn obvious that this guy's hate had nothing to do with the fact that riding horses in slow motion took up screen time.
I mean, let's look at the evidence. Peter Jackson would never have had people riding horses in slow motion, huh? Bud, I think it's time to rewatch those movies.
Oh yeah, I guess you are right. No slow-motion horses in the Fellowship of the Ring.
Come I think of it, there was none of that in the Two Towers either.
Yeah, imagine how lame that would have been in Return of the King.
(This was maybe not the best choice of gifs, but you probably get it)
In my personal opinion, this scene was done in a way that blends beautifully with the previous movie adaptations.
So, what was this dude's (and other people's) problem?
Let's take a look at the scene.
Apparently, I am in the minority here (at least, that's what it feels like), but this scene was breathtaking.
The colors! The flowing robes! The stunning cremello horse! The cinematography!
This. Is. Art.
Watching this scene made me understand exactly how this show is "a love letter to Tolkien".
Yet a lot of people hate it.
And, surprise surprise, it's not about the horse or the use of slow motion.
Let's compare this scene to its predecessors, shall we?
What do they have in common? For the most part, they can be described as:
Dark
Grim
Urgent
Perilous
Dangerous
This new scene, on the other hand, can be described as:
Bright
Light
Freeing
Leisurely
High Spirited
Two completely different moods, with two different receptions. This is surely a huge part of the negative reaction. People just did not like the lack of tension.
And that's ok.
If you found this scene boring and generally unimpressive due to this lack of narrative pressure, that is completely valid.
But if that was the root cause of the widespread hate for this scene, I would not be writing this.
Because "cringy" is not an adjective used to describe something you find boring and unimpressive. And cringy is the descriptor I have seen used over and over again.
So what about it is "cringy"?
Well, it's not the slow motion. Many people pointed out that there was a lot of it. Does the scene lean too heavily upon slow motion? Meh, in the end, it boils down to personal preference there, but as I have pointed out above, slow motion alone is not the source of enmity.
Nor is it the artful aspect. Many people have expressed their appreciation for the shot where we can see Galadriel's flowing robes.
No. Interestingly enough, the shot that I see the most complaints on, the moment that the enraged masses cry "cringy", is this one.
I mean, look at her! For the first time, she feels joy. And it shows.
Our poor emotionally constipated Galadriel, who has shown nothing but pride, rage, and impatience (all symptoms of her trauma from the hell that was the First Age), is finally happy, even for a brief while.
This poor woman has been shown nothing but disbelief, skepticism, scorn, and outright hostility from other characters. Everywhere she turns, these people patronize her and her growing sense of urgency (I think a lot of people have forgotten/are not aware that she has foresight). Her concerns are not unfounded.
Finally, she catches a break, and her expressions show it. Morfydd Clark does a wonderful job of capturing that freeing release.
Instead, people say it "looks ridiculous, laughable, and out of place", and they complain that it "looks like an advert for a feminine care product".
No. I fear that this reaction stems from something else. Because this was never about the horses.
Our society is twisted and skewed so that many people are not willing to tolerate a female lead—let alone a woman who does all the things that typically male characters do. They have no interest in a female-led narrative. They don't want to see women expressing emotions that don't immediately cater to their egos.
This is mostly a man problem, hence the several instances I've heard of men complaining that this scene looks like advertising for feminine care products (since when did that become a derogatory thing?), so in all fairness, I now point out that some women are also guilty of this through internalized misogyny.
Now, I'm not saying you have to like this scene. You don't have to like anything about RoP. If you don't like it, my advice is to stop watching it and making yourself and everyone else miserable. Go find something you actually like. I promise it will make you feel better.
But, if you hated this scene and other parts of RoP because you are mad that a female lead is showing emotions and doing things that don't fit with your ideas on how women should look or act, then I have a few choice words for you stinky misogynists.
Eca, a mitta lambetya cendelessë orcova, catassa.
#galadriel#fellowship of the ring#the two towers#return of the king#lotr on prime#lotr rings of power#the rings of power#rings of power#love letter to tolkien#rant#lotr horses#calm down and stop trying to ruin rop for everyone else#Ilúvatar almighty#since when did this fandom become so toxic#absolutely laughable rop complaints
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Chapter 3 - Excerpt 2
“We call ourselves Diaforians.” Jolene began. “The name originates from the Greek word diaforà and means ‘difference’. Remember that address I gave you? That was for our central base. We’re currently in the resting-room of said base.” She made an expansive gesture at the baby-blue room.
“I’m not going to beat around the bush. You saw Scarlett, Rowan and I three days ago. You saw what you saw. You know what we did, you know what you did. You are a Diaforian, Kenneth. How that is, Ms. Teigen will have to explain, but for now, you have to contend with our side of the explanation. It’s true, we do have X-Man-like powers, like you said, but we can’t use them whenever we want. Our abilities come from Knightville, the land here, the air here, the water here, the fire here. Call it magic, or whatever. But Knightville is the reason we can do what we can do. All of us in this town have special abilities only they have, so every person born or dead is important. For example, I can shape-shift, Rowan can move things with his mind, Scarlett can manipulate darkness, and Desiree can heal people using her life energy. It’s how I got fixed up so fast. You, on the other hand, can perform luminokinesis, which is the ability to manipulate light.
“Which brings me back to my first statement. We can’t use our abilities here and there, however and whenever we want to. Using our powers is draining, and can kill us if we over-exert ourselves. You felt weak when you killed that Shadow, didn’t you? So weak you passed out immediately afterwards. We have to take stimulants from herbs and fruits that can only be found in Knightville, so that we can keep running after using our powers.
“Now, Knightville isn’t the only place like it. There are a bunch of other such small places scattered across the world, just large enough to be settlements. There’s one in Arizona, Great Britain, Germany, two in India, and so on. Knightville is the only such settlement to exist in North America.
“Lila already told us what you know. You know that according to the rest of the world, Knightville, Rhode Island, does not exist, and you know that Diaforians can’t get out. Lila, who is very much a human, can’t get out either. Part of this place’s natural mechanism is to keep humans out, so they can’t see this place or even know that it exists.
“Now, the reason that none of us can leave is because of something that happened in the year 1867. It was a sickness, and it affected Diaforians everywhere; it was deadly. We called it The Great Plague. Symptoms were unclear, but once you had it, you were bound to die. It ate up our population until there were only hundreds of us left in Knightville. But then, our healers realised that we could forcefully extract magic from the elements of nature to cure people. It worked, and The Great Plague was gone like it had never been there. But then our government realised that maybe healing wasn’t the only thing magic was good for. They tried to harness it, and used it for selfish things. Unnecessary things. Rest of the nineteenth century was spent in exploring the extent of our magic. How to enhance our powers, powering up the town... drugs. But it dug out black holes in the tapestry of our magic, in our land. They’re called Voids, and they’re just these pieces of nothingness, from which creatures of utter darkness are born. Remember those things you saw, the other day? You killed one of them, with your light. Those were Shadows, demonic creatures sent to us as punishment from the land. An invisible barrier that was meant to keep us all inside was erected, but it also meant that everyone that entered could never leave.”
Jolene stopped, and the abrupt silence that followed was loud in my ears. Nobody was moving, as if everything in this room was soaked in kerosene and one wrong move meant that it would all go up in flames. I realised I would have to answer carefully.
“Why was this kept from me and Lila?” I asked. I looked at my mother, who was sitting quietly on a wooden chair, hands clasped in her lap and head hanging low. What secret are you keeping from me?
“Because we knew that one day, someone like you and Ms. Teigen would come,” Rowan answered. “We knew beforehand what would happen this year, and we needed to be ready for it. More than that, we needed to figure out how to go about things from that point.” He stopped and gazed upwards. “That plan, however, went to hell.”
It was slightly disturbing how serenely he said the last words, and maybe that was what put the edge in my tone. “So, what? You have fortune-tellers in this place too?”
Everybody regarded me seriously. “We used to,” it was Desiree who spoke up this time, “long before the Plague. There was only ever one though, Anna Lee Rose, and she went insane towards the end of her life. Back then, nobody could tell the difference between her ‘prophecies’ and just plain gibberish. The future can’t be understood. It’s both set in stone and forever changing, and having it constantly whispering in your ear and showing up in your dreams... it’s too much to know.” Desiree sighed. The others were casting warning looks her way, and she spared them an apologetic glance before pushing on. “Well, she killed herself at age twenty-two soon after starting her last prophecy, the only one that we know of. Kenneth, it talked about you, here in Knightville. But it was never finished, so we don’t-”
There was a knock on the door. It was gentle, but it somehow resounded throughout the whole room, which made it seem more ominous than it probably actually was.
A male voice from the outside spoke up. “Can I come in?” It was cautious, like he hadn’t meant to intrude, although there were few possible ways in which he could’ve known what was going on in here.
“Tyler James!” Jolene called out a little irritably. “Aren’t you a bit...” she checked a shiny metal-strapped watch hanging loosely on her wrist. She sighed, “right on time?”
“Was I supposed to come late?” Tyler James asked.
“It would have been fashionable,” Rowan answered.
Desiree coolly ignored the Frosts. “Come on in, TJ, and ignore these two while you’re at it.”
The door heaved open, and a boy who looked barely any older than us stepped into the room. He had a wiry build, caramel hair, mud-brown eyes, and a certain gentleness in his bearing. A nurse, perhaps, or, as the people here call them, a healer. He was wearing a loose ivory shirt over white pants and slippers, clutching a clipboard in the crook of his arm, and seemed to be holding something in his other hand.
Tyler James’ eyes skimmed over the rest of the room and the people in it. He looked as though he’d understood the situation long before he’d knocked on the door, and cast everyone a look that I couldn’t catch as he came over to me. Everyone had gone silent, presumably because they didn’t want to say anything with a total stranger present. Tyler James opened up his palm.
Inside were two unnaturally smooth looking blueberries.
“Sorry,” he told me, with a kind smile, “I just need to feed you one of these so I can check your vitals. It doesn’t taste bad or anything, although it can be a bit too sweet for some people.”
I looked at him skeptically. “That’s a blueberry,” I said. “Also, are you a healer?”
He laughed a small laugh. “Firstly, this is a pill, and although it does look deceptively like a blueberry, I double checked myself, and this is just to help me see how your body’s doing right now. I’ll have the other one myself, and oh, don’t be startled if I don’t look human for a sec, okay?” He paused, letting that sink in. I didn’t respond. “Secondly, I’m Tyler James Thorne, and you’re right, I’m a healer, like Desiree. Pleasure to meet you.” He grinned, then motioned for me to take one of the ‘pills’.
Slowly I took one of the smooth indigo spheres out of his palm. They felt like pearls on touch.
“You’re supposed to bite down on it,” he informed me as I did what he said.
The healer had been right, the blueberry-pill was sweet, the taste exploding in my mouth as soon as I bit it with a crack. It was so intense the first few seconds that I had to close my eyes because the colours had gone too sharp. It wasn’t a sugar-sweetness, the real kind that people mixed tea with to make it taste better. It was the indescribable kind, a kind too profound to believe real, even though I was experiencing it first-hand. I suddenly realised with a jolt that this was how coming to Knightville had felt. This was that exact strange feeling that wasn’t so strange anymore, dialled up to eleven. I’d known, somewhere in myself, that this place was magic.Magic too real to be a story. Magic too real to walk away from. Magic too real to ever understand.
And I had gotten myself trapped.
That was a sobering thought. Slowly after that, the sharp, almost painful sweetness on my tongue ebbed away, and I couldn’t help but think it was because of what I’d thought.
When I opened my eyes again, I almost fell off the bed. The healer had been right again. He didn’t look human anymore, and what he looked like now was disturbing to look at. He’d turned into a pitch dark humanoid shape from head to toe, as thought he had been erased out of existence and this was just a cut-out of a piece of dark nothing where the healer used to be. It almost grotesquely reminded me of the Shadows, if not for the bright millimeter-wide strings of red, blue, and yellow that wove around his entire body like nerves, all connecting at the center of his chest where a shimmering white luminiscence existed.
“Holy shit!” I half-yelled.
“Stay calm.” Tyler James still sounded exactly like himself, which was uncanny because a string of electric blue nerves noodled together in the general vicinity of where his mouth should be. To someone else he said, “they should really make these things work one-way.”
He went silent rather abruptly after that. Come to think of it, the entire room was quiet, again. Apparently death silences seemed to be a thing around these parts.
A moment later, the healer murmured, “what the hell?”
As I swallowed the last bits of the pill, the almost-painful sweetness of it returned in full force, and I was in euphoria again for a few shining seconds of blinding white light at the back of my eyelids as I closed them.
But when I opened them again, I found that Tyler James was gone, and the rest four just looked torn between anticipating what I was going to say, and the need to explain why Tyler James had acted so strangely, and why he was gone so soon.
Lila still wouldn’t look at me, but she was the one who spoke up first. “Kenneth, listen. I never-”
But suddenly, I didn’t want to hear it anymore. I didn’t want to listen to anything that she had to say. She knew something that would probably answer the rest of my questions, but she’d kept it away from me my entire life, and I was too angry to want to listen to it from her now. So instead, I interrupted, sparing her a cold glance, and addressed the rest of the room in general. “Why did this-this oracle of yours kill herself halfway through her prophecy about me?”
Jolene started. This was probably the last question she’d thought I was going to ask. Rowan just opened his mouth, and then closed it again, and Desiree looked as though she point-blank refused to answer that question.
But Scarlett finally deigned to tear away her intense gaze from the ground, looking interested in the world, for once, and it was she who spoke up at last. “Because she’d seen the end of the world.”
The fact that I gave no warning beforehand should have been warning enough for you, honestly. Also, so sorry that it was so late, I literally had no time! Studies is so hectic rn!
Taglist: @jeahreading, @mayaheronthorn, @damn-this-transgirl-hella-gay, @tys-kitty, @margareturtle
#Land of Magic#Chapter 3-Excerpt 2#Indigo Isles#Writing#Writerblr#Writers on Tumblr#Novels#Tumblr Novels
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It's been a long time since I've had a chance to really look at the roots of her hair. I'm not given the honor of brushing or washing her hair because I can't figure out how to be gentle enough. And when we stand, she is taller than me. And when she lays on my chest, it's always in our bedroom with comfortable, dim lighting.
There are so many more grays and whites.
I remember we celebrated when we found the first one. Cried. God, what a blissful mark of the passage of time, proof that she had survived long enough to have a gray hair, despite it all.
There are so many more. One is a fluke. Three is a curiosity and a gift. But these are different. She is so sick. She has been so sick, waiting for appointments, waiting for so long. Maybe my eyes are tricking me.
No. A single snow-white hair ensnares my gaze. I gently shift her hair around, following the white one from its root to its tip. It's about 3 inches long. What happened? Why did this hair loose pigment? Why couldn't it just be a joy of the gift of aging? Why did it have to threaten to be a symptom?
Life has felt ethereal and strange lately. It feels convoluted and tangled and chaotic--and it feels blisteringly simple, like the simplicity of a pot of scalding water: transparent, obvious, a rolling boil warning your eyes and ears, withholding no burns as it lets you know exactly what it is, turning flesh into meat without any concern for a stealthy power or a subtle violence.
I always found beauty in white hair. Most people in my life had short hair once it turned white. Balding men, and women with short cuts. In elementary school, I saw long white hair for the first time. It looked like silver silk and it looked too pleasant to be real. It looked the way something might look in another universe, like a dress you would expect to see on an elven princess who had legendary silversmiths and tailors at beck and call. I was excited to see if my own hair would become so beautiful with age. Yeah, as an elementary schoolkid. I also wanted to grow up to have a house full of cats, and no husband. These things don't generate my queerness, but they add a pleasant and nostalgic note.
I saw a gray hair on my wife. We lived together. We even had a pet cat. It was my entire fantasy--unconditional love from someone I loved just as much, safety and security, companionship and family. I found three before I trusted my eyes, before I let my heart soar, before we cried happily at the realization that we were going to grow old together.
The color leached. Blank. Empty. Where did the color go? Where is the personality, the soul? Of course these things fade. The fading is its own personality and soul. A sign of age. A sign of age. A sign of age.
Where were the years that slowly soaked up the color? Where were the complimentary beauties--laugh lines, scars from silly things, wrinkling skin that isn't even close to giving up and falling off the bone? The hairs are white like bleached bones. They have none of the softness of fresh snow, falling slowly, turning from a dusting to a blanket to an unrecognizable world. They are matte, not shiny. They give no indication of their shape, beyond a length. They could be round, or hammered flat. I can't see which. I don't know.
Another night of drawing a line across my brain, of dedicating one half to fixate on her breathing, and trying to salvage sentience from the other half. Who am I? Why do I suffer? The burden of gentleness grows heavy. The constants of normalcy rust. I know why I suffer. How can I protect her from suffering, though?
I am short-tempered with myself because I can't build the things I need. My hands never stop fidgeting and tinkering. I can make a lot of things from scraps and trash and lucky finds. I made a life, after all. A happy one. Why can't I make an MRI machine? I am bitterly disappointed in myself.
I feel like a cold fire. I'd be teasing myself for saying such a thing, if I had the energy. I don't. I'm tired and I feel like a cold fire. I feel like scalding water. Something complex and impossible; something obvious and simple. I feel like the cracks in metal and glass that come from drastic temperature changes. I feel something. Several things. They're all unpleasant and fragmenting and obfuscating and exhausting.
I am quivering like a songbird who overestimated the strength of winter and prolonged migration too long. I don't know why her hair is white. Is it cold as snow? Or as a bone? I am cold down to my bones. It isn't an answer. It isn't even a direction to go.
I long for the warming days of spring and the new foliage obscuring the winter's kills. I long to see a flower bloom.
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I hope that this ask is within the scope of what you're happy to answer. I saw a post you made a few years ago where you talked about some of your experiences with psychosis (you talked about someone thinking it was funny to lie to you and trigger you. I'm so sorry that happened to you!). I wondered if you'd be willing to talk a bit about things that help to ground you and what other people can do to help you feel supported around this?
A family member I love dearly has been experiencing psychosis for a number of years now, and even though she has a medical team that she trusts, I feel like there's been very little guidance for me in how to best support her. I've been figuring it out as I go, and I think I've done ok, but it's really hard for me to ask her these kinds of questions because her self awareness around her distorted beliefs is pretty low. Obviously what works for you might not help her but it might give me a perspective I hadn't considered.
I'm also a little curious about how you're able to "hold on to" the knowledge that you experience psychosis; my loved one often became upset when I tried to talk explicitly about her beliefs being disconnected from reality, and she rejected the part of her diagnosis that addressed her delusions. (I don't try to bring that up now, since it doesn't seem to be helpful. I only gently assert my own experiences and beliefs if she brings up ideas that conflict with them.) Please don't answer these questions if reflecting on it will be triggering for you, but if you can and would like to talk about it: What is it like for you to be aware that you can't always trust what you believe? Have there been times when you weren't aware, and if so, what was that like?
Again, I hope that I'm not out of line asking you about this. I want to understand what's going on for my loved one better, and there's so little information out there that centres the experiences of people who actually have psychosis.
hiya! thanks for the ask.
i definitely think my situation is wildly different from your loved one’s- over the years, with the right medications and treatments, my symptoms have very drastically changed. i don’t think I or the doctors who treated me can really say why, maybe some medication reactions or just a removal from the scary environment i lived in. these days i experience muted versions of my former psychotic breaks, like… instead of full blown hallucinations i feel phantom pains, that sort of thing. as for why i remember, idk! every1 is different.
all that explains why i am absolutely not qualified to help you. if your relative or her doctors haven’t told you anything they’d like you to do with regards to her care, just try to treat her like any other member of your family, be kind, don’t infantilize- those are general statements that can apply to any disabled person, and it sounds to me like you’re already doing them, so in my opinion you’re on the right track.
but to answer your questions:
i am grounded by textures. carpet on my bare back, raking my fingers through my hair, even some gentle pains like pinching my arms. i am grounded by distractions. folding laundry, doing dishes, methodical tasks that don’t require brain power but do require intentional movements. yoga is good for this.
i did not always trust my sense of reality, and sometimes i’m still unsure. i’m a stubborn bitch though and i’ll push my way through just about anything. once i worked an eight hour retail stint near christmas time and couldn’t stop seeing a traumatic event replaying out in front of me, but fake it til you make it! i talked to customers like it wasn’t even there.
holding onto reality is something very unique to every person, for me it felt like two realities were colliding and i had to discern which one was the right one. i was lucky that most of my delusions were made of the same shit, i could recognize the lighting/faces/details that were not regular and ignore everything else. it took time to develop that skill.
however, you’re never going to help anyone if you’re out here worrying and researching and killing yourself when you could be just sitting next to her. focus on putting one foot in front of the other and try to remember what makes her happy & healthy. remember to take care of yourself too. that’s the best you as a non-medical professional! i’m sending love your way.
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allergic to you
Word Count: 3, 713
Pairing: Tsukishima Kei x High School Age!Fem!Reader
Warnings: some swear words I guess, but as per usual, it’s just fluff from me.
A/N: Guess who’s finally joined another fandom lol hello Haikyuu fandom! Pls be kind, it’s my first time writing for this fandom but I am in love with Karasuno boys, it’s problematic. Anyways, please let me know if you liked it! Sorry if I didn’t quite capture him the way other writers do haha. Also, Y/N = Your (Last) Name, just cause typing Y/L/N is exhausting lol my b
(Not my gif, credits to the original creator!)
Yamaguchi was trying his very hardest not to laugh, his hands clasped together in front of his lips to stifle his giggles as the tall blond boy he had known for years just looked at him desperately.
“It’s not funny,” Tsukishima’s lips formed into a frown (almost a pout), looking away from his friend nervously. His fingers played with some chopsticks, poking at his uneaten lunch.
Yamaguchi had never see Tsukishima Kei nervous. Volleyball games? Totally calm. Math class? Easy. Exam season? Piece of cake.
But put Tsukishima near a girl? No, scratch that. Not just any girl. Put Tsukishima near Y/N? It was all over for him. Suddenly, this 190cm tall boy wanted to shrink small enough to run away and not be noticed.
“It’s a little funny, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi insisted, finally letting out just a tiny chuckle that he just couldn’t hold back. “I think you’re overreacting. Just a bit.”
Tsukishima’s eyes turned back to the other boy, staring at him as if analyzing him, “How could I be overreacting? I’m telling you, I’m allergic!”
Yamaguchi was really trying his best to be supportive, knowing that talking about things was already hard for Tsukishima, especially when involving a particularly cute girl. “You think... you’re allergic... to Y/N,” Yamaguchi retorted slowly, repeating how Tsukishima started this convo with.
“Don’t be an idiot,” Tsukishima scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Obviously it’s some product she uses or something,” his nose scrunched up slightly as he tried to think of what it could possibly be. “Like that hand lotion she uses. The one that smells like vanilla and brown sugar,” Tsukishima proclaimed, nodding to himself like he had solved the mystery.
The green haired boy was still trying his best to be supportive. He nodded slowly, giving a forced smile to his best friend as he slowly spiralled into insanity. He had never seen Tsukishima this desperate for answers before. “Hasn’t she let you use some of that hand lotion?” He wondered aloud, remembering very specifically how red Tsukishima’s ears got when she rubbed a bit into a rash he had gotten on his hand.
“Gotta take good care of your hands if you play volleyball, Tsukishima-san!” Y/N had beamed, her fingers massaging the cream in.
Tsukishima had practically fainted that day, though he’d never admit it.
The blond’s frown tightened, holding his hand to his chin in thought, “Right. So not the hand lotion then.”
“Maybe she got a new perfume?” Yamaguchi offered, nibbling on some of his lunch while Tsukishima thought it out.
“No, she’s still using the same one,” He mumbled, and Yamaguchi smirked to himself, knowing that Tsukishima would’ve never admitted before that he knew little details like this about her.
“Well. what kinds of symptoms do you have? Maybe that’ll narrow it down,” Yamaguchi suggested, leaning his head back on the wall behind them. It wasn’t unusual for Tsukishima to want to eat some place quiet, but today had been the first day that he had practically dragged Yamaguchi to this small secluded spot behind the school. The two of them sat against a wall to eat, though Tsukishima’s lunch had been completely forgotten.
“I just-” Tsukishima hesitated, eyebrows furrowing in annoyance as he tried to word how his body felt every time she was around. “I always feel so lightheaded. And my heartbeat’s always irregular too. Sometimes it feels like I can’t breathe properly.” His hand slid into his jacket pocket, pulling out his phone and tilting the screen towards Yamaguchi to show him a medical diagnostic page on the web. “Some people say these are symptoms of allergies. Or an anxiety attack. But I’m leaning more towards allergies.”
Yamaguchi squinted at the text, “You... Googled it?” He asked, a playful smile on his lips, glancing up at Tsukishima, amused.
“Well, what else am I supposed to do?” Tsukishima scoffed, scrolling through the page. “I don’t know what else it could be. It’s not with anyone else. It can’t be the classroom either, cause when she’s not around, I don’t feel anything.”
“Hm. So what’re you going to do about it?” Yamaguchi asked, going along with this ‘allergic’ idea as much as he could. He knew Tsukishima was very rational and even if he suggested what he figured was happening, Tsukishima would never listen.
“D-Do?” Tsukishima blinked. He hadn’t thought about what the next step was.
“Well I assume you don’t want to keep feeling that like right? You could always ask the teacher to move you, I suppose. Then ask her not to attend any of our games. Avoiding her for the rest of your life seems like the best choice doesn’t it?” Yamaguchi asked innocently, closing up his lunch box and taking a sip from his juice.
Tsukishima stayed quiet, eyebrows still furrowed and the frown on his face tightening. He knew that made sense - one of the girls in their class was allergic to nuts and she always had to be careful what she ate, and he had even heard of some people not eating or drinking milk products because of allergies. The logical part of his brain agreed with Yamaguchi, perhaps staying away from Y/N was the only answer.
“Then... maybe it’s not an allergy,” Tsukishima mumbled quietly. He hated going back on his word but he couldn’t deny that he loathed the idea of not seeing Y/N’s smile ever again. Or seeing her sit with someone else. “Maybe it’s just something I have to get used to.”
“You know, Tsukishima,” Yamaguchi started again, looking off to the scenery that was in front of them. His voice was light and airy as he tried to coax his friend to the idea, “What you’re going through sounds a lot like-”
Tsukishima could hear it in his voice, he knew the next word forming from Yamaguchi’s lips before it even entered the air. He slammed his lunch box closed and stood up abruptly, turning away from the other boy’s eyes. “Lunch is over,” he grumbled, as if that was the reason he stood up so dramatically.
Yamaguchi smirked and packed up his things, shaking his head slowly when Tsukishima wasn’t looking. He wasn’t at all surprised that Tsukishima was having a hard time accepting his feelings.
The word hung in the very serious boy’s mind for the rest of the day. He tried not to focus so much on Y/N as he sat next to her for the rest of their classes, tried to not inhale too much or look in her general direction, in fear that his “allergy” would act up again.
He was almost positive it wasn’t... that. He would know for sure if it was, wouldn’t he? His nose scrunched slightly as he thought about the music he had listened to before, ones that had just a good melody and beat and he definitely didn’t listen to because of the lyrics since they were about... that thing.
Didn’t some people talk about their heart feeling like it was going to fall out of their chest? That they found it hard to breathe? That it was like all life stopped when they saw that person? And that despite all this, they never wanted to be without them?
Tsukishima had to get to the bottom of this. He was either experiencing some sort of allergic reaction to her or he was experiencing feelings. He thought about ignoring them, pretending like they didn’t exist so that maybe everything would go back to normal one day. But how long would that take? Wouldn’t it just be easier to rip off the bandaid and find out now?
At the end of class, Tsukishima zoomed his way out of class, not waiting for Yamaguchi like usual.
“Is he alright, Yamaguchi-san?” Y/N asked, surprised that the two best friends weren’t walking out together like they had every other day. Some days, they would even walk out with Y/N on their way to practice. But apparently, not today.
“He’s got a lot on his mind,” Yamaguchi explained, waving it away with a smile. Perhaps today he would be walking home by himself. And that was fine by him.
Y/N packed up her things and waved goodbye to her other classmates, heading out the door and slipping in her headphones. Her mind drifted to all the things she had to do when she got home, whether or not there were leftovers to heat up today or if she should cook something up.
“You take so long,” a drawl voice interrupted the very beginning of her first song. She blinked in surprise, looking to her right where Tsukishima was leaning against a tree.
Y/N pulled out one earbud, tilting her head as she watched him. It wasn’t like she hadn’t seen him do this casual, I-don’t-care-about-anything lean, with his headphones around his neck and his hands shoved in his pockets. But there was something different about him this time. Why was he avoiding her eyes? Why was he not giving her an annoyingly carefree smile? Why were his ears turning pink?
“Were you... waiting for me, Tsukishima-san?” Y/N asked slowly. He didn’t move for a moment, as if still calculating something in that big brain of his. He pushed off of the tree after sighing, walking over to her slowly.
“Obviously,” was all he said, glaring down at her as if she should’ve known this.
“You rushed out of class so quick, I thought you were already going home,” Y/N responded, still a bit confused. “Don’t you and Yamaguchi normally walk home together?”
Why did she have to question so much? Why couldn’t she just realize what he was trying to do? Tsukishima huffed and grabbed her hand, dropping a nice cool juice box in it. His eyes darted away from her next inquisitive look, but glanced back almost immediately because he wanted to see her eyes widen just a little at her favourite juice box.
“W-What is this?” Y/N asked, holding it in her hands. Part of her wanted to examine it to make sure he hadn’t somehow tricked her into holding something that wasn’t actually juice. She looked up at him suspiciously - Tsukishima knew her favourite juice?
“You didn’t have one with you today. I figured you forgot your wallet again today,” Tsukishima mumbled, shoving his hands in his jacket again.
“O-Oh. I did, thank you. Um,” Y/N hesitated. Was Tsukishima trying... to be nice? “Why... why did you buy it for me?”
“I just said why,” Tsukishima scoffed, flicking her head gently. He scolded himself internally, feeling guilty as soon as she showed the surprise on her face. She’s asking why you thought to be nice, Kei, stop being snarky, he told himself harshly. “Sorry,” he muttered quickly, feeling almost immediately bad for flicking her.
Y/N just laughed though, giggles spilling from her lips as she looked up at him, “Are you feeling okay, Tsukishima-san? You’re turning red,” she teased gently and he looked away from her quickly, hating how quickly his face heated up.
He took a breath, trying to mimic how calm he was on the court. He turned back to look at her with a cocky smile and confidence gaze, though he was sure she could tell he was nervous, “I’m fine, Y/N-san. But I need to tell you something. And I’m only going to say it once so listen up.”
Y/N watched him intently, noting the fake confidence he was trying to put on. She nodded as he looked at her for any sign to keep going.
His lips opened for a moment and Y/N could’ve sworn there was a moment of panic in his eyes when nothing came out. “I’m going to walk you home today,” Tsukishima stated finally, each word thudding into the air. He felt his confidence falter as the wrong words left his mouth, shifting his bag on his shoulder and starting to walk ahead.
Y/N’s eyebrows furrowed, feeling her confusion only rise. Did he really build up that whole thing... just to walk her home?
“Hurry up or I’ll leave you here,” Tsukishima called behind his shoulder, still walking ahead. He was internally punching himself, groaning and uttering insults at his own stupid self. Couldn’t even say it. Couldn’t just say Y/N I like you and I think I’m either allergic to you or I’m utterly in love with you but I’ve been told I suck at explaining how I feel and that I never say the right things at the right time so please just reject me so I can move away from these exhausting feelings.
“Want some?” Y/N’s gentle voice was suddenly beside him, and Tsukishima felt his stomach doing that flipping motion again. He glanced down at her and saw her holding up the juice box at him. “Seems only fair, since you bought it,” she explained, the glimmer in her eyes making him feel way too warm inside.
“Sure,” he mumbled after a moment. She smiled just a little bit wider, holding up the juice to him, expecting him to just snatch it away and drink. But no, Tsukishima being a little bitch and deciding that if he couldn’t admit anything with words, he could try with actions, leaned down slightly, and latched his lips onto the straw. His hand wrapped around hers over the juice box, holding it still as he took a sip.
Y/N felt like she was suddenly bright red, her heart possibly having exploded right then and there. His eyes looked up to meet hers as he sipped, smirking a bit as he noticed the panicked and flushed look in her eyes.
Maybe the feeling is... mutual?
“Mm,” he hummed, pulling away after keeping her gaze for a second. “I guess I can see why you like it.”
Y/N had shivers running up and down her spine, feeling like Tsukishima had looked into her very soul and knew about her year-long crush on him.
The two of them started walking a bit slower after that, and to the external eye, you’d probably just see two classmates walking home together. But look a little closer, and you’d see both of them having internal conflicts. They managed to walk through the small roads filled with shops and make it about halfway to Y/N’s house in complete silence.
“Y/N-san,” Tsukishima finally ended it, the agonizing silence, in which he had been racking his brain trying to think of how to start a conversation. He stopped in his tracks as he spoke the one word, the two of them now on a quieter dirt path. There was no one to interrupt them, no one to save Tsukishima from embarrassment, no Yamaguchi to fill the awkward silence.
“Hm?” Y/N looked back at him, noticing him just standing there. “Are you alright, Tsukishima-san?”
“There’s something I need to say,” he started, his hands in his pockets clenched into fists.
“O-Oh okay.”
“I’ve been... feeling sick around you.” Baka, he scolded himself for what felt like the millionth time. That definitely wasn’t the way he had wanted to say it. “I-I mean, not like sick sick but like allergy sick,” he tried to recover, but scoffed at himself since that wasn’t all that much better.
Y/N’s eyebrows furrowed in response, trying to think about his reactions lately. He had definitely been more flushed lately, but she always thought that was annoyance. He’d been quieter and more distant, but it was Tsukishima after all. He looked over to her desperately, hoping to see that she was understanding what he was trying to say. She wasn’t.
Tsukishima was starting to get frustrated. He knew he wasn’t the greatest at communicating but how hard was it to see how much he liked her? Yamaguchi saw it, hell, even his upperclassmen teased him about it when they first saw Tsukishima and Y/N walking out of class together one day. So why did other people who didn’t need to know it, why did they understand but she didn’t? Why was she so dense?
You’re not saying anything, his mind reminded him as he scowled to himself.
“It has to be that,” Tsukishima finally continued quietly, his eyes now staring at his feet. He was practically trying to convince himself now. It had to be that there was a health related issue with him being around her. It had to be that, because if it wasn’t, it meant that Tsukishima had to tell her how he felt. And that meant that he was probably going to end up hurt. Why a girl like Y/N hung around a guy like him anyways was beyond him.
“Why?” Y/N frowned, still terribly lost in the cosmos of this odd confession. “Why would it have to be that?”
“Because if it isn’t that, then it means that I’ve fallen completely head over heels for you.”
Tsukishima wasn’t sure how he had managed to say the words. But there it was. His fists tightened even more, his fingernails digging into his palm so hard it was starting to hurt.
His eyes closed tightly, turning his head away from her. He didn’t want to look. He didn’t want to see laughter or disgust in her eyes. Maybe he could take it back now. Maybe he could-
Tsukishima jumped at the feeling of a poke on his chest, his eyes opening in surprise when he found Y/N standing much closer than she was earlier. “Are you teasing me?” She asked defensively, squinting her eyes up at him.
“T-Teasing?” Tsukishima stammered. He watched her eyes, noting how visibly upset she looked and he could feel his frustration rising. He had finally said what he had wanted to say this whole time... and she wasn’t even reacting the way she was supposed to. How stupid did she have to be? And why did she have to look so damn cute while doing it?
“Yamaguchi-san told you, didn’t he? I knew that poophead couldn’t keep his mouth shut,” she grumbled, crossing her arms against her chest. “He swore he wouldn’t tell you, but I should’ve known. You guys are best friends and all.”
“Told me... told me what?”
“That I’ve liked you practically since we met,” Y/N huffed, putting her hands on her hips. “Listen, Tsukishima-san, if you don’t like me back, you don’t have to tease me like this. I’m perfectly fine being rejected,” she told him with a pout on her lips (she was definitely not fine being rejected, and was planning on crying at home after this). “Don’t act like you didn’t know.”
Tsukishima‘s eyes widened, staring at her like she had grown a second head. “You... You like me?” He gulped. His allergies must be getting worse, his heart was thumping so hard against his chest, he couldn’t think straight.
Y/N and him shared a confused look for a moment, neither one of them sure who was teasing whom at this point. “Didn’t... didn’t you know? That’s why you’re being nice to me?” She asked him, poking his chest again. “Why else would you be walking me home and buying me juice?”
“Why would...” Tsukishima’s lips curled into a smile and suddenly he burst out into laughter, tilting his head back in amusement.
“Why are you laughing?” Y/N whined, punching his arm lightly with a huff. “This isn’t a time to be laughing at me!”
Tsukishima straightened up with his signature cocky smile, shaking his head as he fixed his glasses on his face. Then, his hand moved to hit the top of her head.
“OW! Tsukishima-san!”
“You idiot. Why would I be standing here confessing to you if I was just going to make fun of you?” Tsukishima scoffed, smirking at her. “If I didn’t like you back and I found out you liked me, don’t you think I would’ve made it clear by now that you never stood a chance?”
Y/N thought about this for a moment, remembering that one time a girl in a different class had confessed to him after attending one of his matches.
“I think you’re incredible, Tsukishima-san! A-And I just.... well I just...”
“Are you trying to confess to me?” Tsukishima didn’t even bother looking up from his study book, finishing an equation before even glancing at her. “You should just give up now. I’m not interested.”
The girl had teared up so much, even Y/N had felt bad (even though she was secretly happy that Tsukishima hadn’t accepted the confession). Yamaguchi had yelled at Tsukishima about being gentle that day.
“Why would I be nice to someone stupid enough to think I’d like them? I didn’t give her any hints that I did, I don’t even know her,” Tsukishima grumbled.
Y/N had internalized those words, deciding she wouldn’t confess her feelings to Tsukishima ever. If she did, and Tsukishima rejected her, he probably wouldn’t want to be around her as friends ever again.
“So...” Y/N thought to herself for a moment, trying to reexamine what had happened today. “What was with the juice box then?” She asked him.
“I thought...” Tsukishima frowned a little, looking up at the sky in thought. “I thought when you confess you were supposed to... give a gift or something.”
Y/N couldn’t help but giggle at his thought process and Tsukishima glared at her slightly. “You’re laughing at me now?”
She shook her head quickly, trying to stifle her giggles, “I just... I think it’s sweet,” she beamed, holding onto her little juice box even though it was empty now.
Tsukishima watched her carefully before smiling a little, patting her head gently, “Alright then, let’s get you home. I’ll bring another juice box for you for our date.”
“D-Date?” Y/N repeated shyly, following him as he started to walk again.
“You thought I’d just confess to you and not ask you out? Idiot,” Tsukishima smirked, feeling such an intense relief on his shoulders. His heart was still beating furiously and his stomach felt like it was going to come up his throat, but... it wasn’t as frustrating of a feeling now.
After he dropped her off at her house with the promise of walking her to school tomorrow morning, Tsukishima couldn’t help but allow himself to smile widely the whole way home.
If this is what an allergy felt like, he never wanted it to stop.
** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
Okay like I mentioned up there in the Author’s Notes, this is my first time writing for Haikyuu so lmk what you thought :) I’ve written some stuff for OHSHC and I think it’s pretty obviously that tall jerks with glasses are my type lol
Anyways! Enjoy!
#haikyuu x reader#haikyu x reader#tsukishima x reader#tsukishima kei x reader#tsukishima x you#tsukishima kei x you#tsukishima kei x y/n#tsukishima x y/n#tsukishima kei#hq fluff#hq#hq tsukishima#yamaguchi being our adorable lovely boi#would die for him#hq fics#hq x reader#haikyuu fluff#haikyu fluff#tsukkishima kei#tsukkishima kei x reader#tsukkishima haikyuu#haikyuu tsukkishima
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The Hogwarts Express scene in Prince's Tale: A Sirius and Snape analysis
I really, really enjoy Sirius and Snape as characters and their respective narrative functions in story. But what gets me most about them is how much Rowling hints about their backgrounds and so much of it makes sense with regard to who they are as adults. So I am going to be breaking down a very small scene from Prince Tale and getting into long winded hypothesis about their respective childhoods.
So, let's start with Snape. The scene begins with Snape rushing to find Lily, already in his Hogwarts clothes. Harry notes he must have been eager to get out of his clothes - ones that look like he borrowed from his mother, as Petunia spitefully pointed out. This has always been a very interesting detail to me - first off, it indicates how poor Snape's family is. Second, this indicates his tiny rebellion from his father - he refuses to wear clothes of the abusive man, and prefers his mother's. I admit, I am partial to the reading that Snape refuses to associate with his father in tiny ways, rather than Tobias refusing to hand his son clothes.
(I have seen readings which say that it is also a sign of neglect - perhaps his parents bought clothes that simply don't fit him, but I am more inclined to think it's a hand me down, simply because Harry identifies so strongly with it. Because Harry knows what it is like to wear a hand me down that don't quite fit, that are too big for you, or the ones that make you look ridiculous.)
Lily and Petunia's relationship is fraught with Petunia's jealousy. And young Lily is upset over it when Snape meets her. "I am not talking to you. Tuney hates me" she tells him. "Because we saw the letter from Dumbledore". Young Lily shows signs of being extremely emotionally reactive and this scene is one of them. It's easier for her to deal with Petunia's rejection of her by telling Snape she doesn't want to talk to him. It's a childish displacement of her hurt over her sister's rejection. (I am genuinely baffled by interpretations that Lily and Hermione are similar. Hermione is very cognitive person, Lily, as we have been shown repeatedly in memories, is not).
Snape, however, with his bad history with Petunia and his inability/ poor social skills to understand why this matters to her, goes: "So what?"
Lily, who throws him a look of deep dislike, says "So she's my sister". This seed is important because this is what develops into "he doesn't get me" feeling she later displays in her teenage scenes with him. Interestingly, most of Lily's personal relationships have deeply interwined love and dislike - Petunia (whose rejection bothers her but she cheerfully informs Sirius that Harry nearly broke a vase her sister sent - which means there is resentment on her end too), James - who she was attracted to even before 7th year but also disliked at one point, and Snape - again, a contentious friendship filled with love and distance.
"She's only a -" we dont get to hear what Snape intended to say. And given his own acrimony with Petunia, it could be anything. However, I read it as "She's only a Muggle" because it ties into his feelings about his father. Snape, who is proud of being half a Prince, emphasizing his magical lineage from his mother's side, his refuge in a violent, neglectful home. (Barty Crouch Jr and Snape with their disappointing fathers - I imagine Voldemort is supremely attractive leader to people with broken homes like this)
Snape, by all accounts, shows a disorganised attachment style. His caregiver, his mother - and perhaps the only parent he seems to have regard for, is too preoccupied by her own abuse to be there for her son - we see this in glimpses Harry sees in OOTP: " woman cowering" where a man shouts at her, and a young, neglected Snape cries in the corner. Children born in homes like this have trouble regulating their emotions, simultaneously displaying tendencies to aggressively lash out or show disassociative symptoms. Both of which Snape displays. Statistically, this is also seen more in low income households where economic instability and resulting domestic instability creates an unsafe environment for the kids to safely form ideas of their identity, or express emotions in healthy ways, modelling instead out of behaviour seen at home.
Then, Snape reminds her that they are going to Hogwarts. He is already in his Hogwarts clothes - now, Snape gets to be the impressive figure. The one who told her about magic, who theorised about how Muggles get letters from magical people, the one who told her about Dementors and Azkaban. He has already left behind the Spinner's End version of him, he wants to bigger than that, and is keen to be in place of magical learning and to join Slytherin. Essentially, he shows signs of unstable identity, insecurity - all prime for grooming into a cult.
And here comes along James Potter, who looks around at the mention of Slytherin. James's comment uses Snape's line and directs it to Sirius instead and it becomes a conversation between them, as a way to bond more with a fellow "rowdy boy" Sirius. Effectively ignoring the other two.
Sirius as we see here, "does not smile" when James talks about Slytherin. He essentially says something that can be construed as a way to nip that conversation in bud: "My whole family has been in. Slytherin". This suggests to me that there is some loyalty to his family there and his disillusionment with them isn't entirely fixed yet. After all, Sirius's intense loyalty to his friends, more specifically James, did not come out of thin air. It is reasonable to suggest that he felt some loyalty to his family at some point and the intensity with which he regards his friends is a reaction to burned off and being a "displaced person without a family" as Rowling put it.
Interestingly, while his reaction to his mother and Bellatrix are obviously sore spots, his response to Regulus is comparatively quite soft. ("Stupid, idiot" - something he calls James later on in the same book, OOTP). I imagine Sirius has quite complicated feelings about his brother and he is capable of nuance (when the person isn't Snape, where his dislike seems to be borne of an intense projection): "The world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters". As someone who is grown up among them, Sirius would understand that.
His framing of Regulus's need to please his parents also further highlights what exactly is the source of disillusionment. He calls Regulus "soft enough to believe them" - which means he is crediting his own intelligence to see through his parents bigoted world view. Clearly, bigotry is not something the Blacks explained in a way that Sirius, eldest of their male line and their heir, bought it. It also probably didn't help the Blacks case that Grimmauld Place is in a Muggle neighborhood and that their eldest son is a bit of a wild boy with interest in pushing boundaries. His intellectual disconnect leads to the righteous rage he later feels but it began there. (Boy, it must suck to discover that everything you have been taught to value in the world and in yourself as the heir is essentially rubbish). Since his differences with his family began with seeds of intellectual disconnect rather than on intense empathy with downtrodden, it makes him, as a pureblooded privileged boy, unable to truly understand Lupin's fears regarding his lycanthropy. Hence, the Werewolf prank (I am not getting to the Snape bit, just the Lupin bit). To James' credit, he does understand what that means for Lupin and saves all three of them from different set of consequences.
Anyway, back to the scene. James, who has made an ass of himself in front of his new friend, who he was getting along with fine until now, then goes "Blimey, I thought you seemed alright". (Btw, I find James wildly large ego kind of hilarious here, especially in light of Snape's comment about him to Sirius in OOTP: "You will know he is so arrogant that criticism simply bounces off him"). Sirius, who I believe has been raised like "royalty" as Blacks would, has good enough social skills to defuse a situation. He grins and says: "Maybe I will break the tradition".
This line is an indication of Sirius's desire for independence, an identity seperate from his family. The use of the word "tradition" is interesting. It sounds like Sirius is expected to behave in a certain way, the heir of Black family whose parents thought being a Black "made you practically royal". Adult Sirius is contemptuous of this, or their "valuable contribution to Ministry" which means they just gave gold - it tells me that any and all conditions put on him by his family were to fulfill tradition that is either worthless or holds no meaning in his eyes. The root of the emotional abuse Sirius suffers from his family is this - realising his parents love for him is conditional on him being a certain way. (In fact, you can read Regulus desire to emphasise his connection to the family as a reaction to what he sees with Sirius - Sirius does not behave, Mum and Dad don't love him). As a child with unconscious knowledge of lack of love, Sirius then acts out, they react, rinse and repeat "until he has had enough". Sirius chafes against boundaries well into adulthood and doesn't react well to people enforcing it on him, even if it is out of love for him. Cue the fire scene with Harry where he behaves as if Harry is rejecting him instead of protecting him.
Sirius asks James about where he wants to go, and Snape, who is incensed about James being insulting about a House he put stock in, which he made part of new identity (so that he is no longer that Snape boy from Spinner's End) and was in general trying to be impressive about in front of Lily, "makes a disparaging noise" once James talks of Gryffindor. Snape's response to James' : "Got a problem with that?" is interesting. He says: "If you'd rather be brawny, rather than brainy-"
This is an important value for Snape. He knows he is clever and values it. He spends his spare time inventing hexes, making great shortcuts to Potions. He has genuine thirst for learning and he hones it. In SWM, we see that he has written far more longer answers than anyone else, he is poring over his paper after exams. He even mocks Hermione's lack of inventive answers: "Answer copied word to word from the textbook, but correct in essentials". He values originality. It may be me stretching this, but I am partial to the reading: this is his way of rejecting his father once again, who is implied to be a violent man. (in other words, someone who is hypermasculine - "brawny". In fact, Snape's rejection of hypermasculinity is a huge post on it's own - Potions (brewing, cauldrons - coded as feminine arts), the doe Patronus, his proficiency in Occlumency and Legliemency (intuitive mind arts, again seen archetypically feminine) etc).
"Where are you hoping to go, seeing as you are neither?" - Sirius is quick with emotionally cutting insults. Snape hasn't even finished his sentence, but Sirius is already on his case. Which suggests growing up in a household with sharp tongues. It's a fair assumption, given Mrs Black's half mad portrait. It also tallies with Sirius's talking about his mother: "My mother didn't have a heart Kreacher, she kept herself alive out of pure spite" . The wounds are fresh enough on this. (Another interesting way Snape and Sirius act as inverse mirrors - Snape rejects his father, Sirius rejects his mother. Sirius acts as proxy for James for Harry while Snape takes on Lily's role of protecting him). However, you know who else is spiteful? Sirius.
While James is the physical bully (the tripping Snape, doing most of the bullying in SWM), Sirius attacks emotionally. ( Sample the one about Snape's appearance - "I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment, there will be great grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word" or even the carelessly vicious- "Put that away, before Wormtail wets himself in excitement"). Curiously, with all that talk of how his mother being spiteful, it's her room he spends time in when he is depressed. (Again, in inverse mirror way, we can talk of how Snape looks for a father figure in Dumbledore - craves his validation and is proud of Dumbledore's trust in him). We could argue it's also because Buckbeak is there, and perhaps it's the largest room in the house, but it's very telling that's where Sirius spends time when he is "in a fit of sullens". Sirius's sense of abandonment from his family, makes him look for family connections with friends - a trait he shares with Harry. Interestingly, the first time he glimpses Harry in Privet Drive, Harry is also running away from home - just like he did. Anyway, I could go on.
#harry potter analysis#severus snape#snapedom#sirius black#Sirius black analysis#snape analysis#padfoot#lily evans#lily potter#hp snack#the black family#walburga black#Tobias snape#deathly hallows chapter#the prince's tale#harry potter and deathly hallows#harry potter#meta#pro snape#hp meta
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Love your dad! Series! Can I please have some good dad Satan? Angst is okay as long as Satan is ultimately good.
Engulfed (Dad!Satan x F!Reader)
A/N : Another Brothertiger song as the title... Whoo! yes it's kind of like a plug because his songs are really good
Word Count : 2.2K
TW: pregnancy ; maternity ; children ; babies ; child birth;
Children were never a topic of interest for him. They were loud, dirty, and obnoxious. They would ruin his books and he would never have time to read them, he would never have time for you. Why anyone would ever want a child was beyond him, but it was never a topic that he felt he had to bring up. What were the chances that a child would actually be created between the two of you? It was biologically impossible, you weren’t even the same species, it shouldn’t have even been a concern, and it wasn’t, it truly wasn’t… until now.
Things seemed the same… but they weren’t. There were slight differences that an average human wouldn’t have picked up on, but he could see it, he could sense it, he could feel it. “When was the last time you got your… period?” He asked, peaking over the top of his book to look at you, curled up on his bed as you scrolled through your phone. You probably didn’t even notice anything yet, maybe he was just reading into things, but there was nothing wrong with being certain.
You groaned, rolling over to turn away from him. “I don’t know, Satan… I don’t want to talk… I’m bloated and I don’t feel good. I’ll probably get it soon… so leave me alone.” You grumbled, pulling the blanket up around yourself before continuing to scroll through your phone, leaving Satan confused and kind of irritated that you snapped at him like that for a simple question, but he was accrediting it to premenstrual symptoms, he was hoping that’s all it was.
Days continued to pass and you had yet to get your period, and the differences that he saw in you were only growing more prominent. You were sleeping more, and you’d wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and he was starting to get worried. He wasn’t even sure how long it’s been since the two of you did anything, you’ve been so moody and tired lately that he’s been mainly avoiding you so you wouldn’t snap at him, but now he needed to know.
“Satan…” You said his name quietly, peaking your head out of the bedroom door as he was on his way up. Maybe you had just gotten your period and he had nothing to worry about, but he could see the wetness around your eyes, the light from inside the room glinting off the streaks that ran down your cheeks. “Something’s wrong…” You mumbled once he got close enough, grabbing his hand and pulling him into the room. “My… My boobs hurt…”
He eye’d you curiously, slowly moving his gaze down to your chest before looking back at your face. “Did you… sleep on them?” Surely that would explain it, right? Or maybe you were just having chest pains and saying it was your boobs. There were a lot of reasons for you to think they hurt. You shook your head no and he sighed, walking over to you and gently cupping your cheek, hoping that you wouldn’t bite his head off when he asks this time. “When was the last time you got your period?”
Your eyes dropped to look down at your feet, slightly moving away from him as you pursed your lips. “Ten…” He didn’t understand. Days? Weeks? Ten what? He kept staring at you as he waited for you to give him a timeframe that he’d actually be able to understand. “Weeks… Nine weeks… I was counting… And I… I thought I was just a little late… I didn’t realize…” You fell back on the bed, hiding your face in your hands.
“Dammit…” He mumbled, running his fingers through his hair as he tried to think of what to do. It wasn’t your fault, he knew that. He couldn’t get mad at you for it, he’d have to be mad at himself too. There was still the possibility though that you were just… off. He was holding onto that, it was like the last single strand of thread that he had to cling onto. “It’s alright… We’re not sure. We’ve got to be sure… And then we can think of something, alright?” He was trying to stay hopeful, not just for you, but for himself too. It was all he could do.
Going up to the human world was last on his list of things he wanted to do, but they’d know more about the human body than any demon would, and they’d have the tools necessary to figure it out faster.
He was trying to stay calm, giving you soft smiles and temple kisses as you sat in the waiting room of the OBGYN, his hand held tightly in his own as you rested your head on his shoulder, waiting for your name to be called. “You’ll come back with me… right?” You asked nervously, swallowing thickly as your eyes flickered across the other woman in the room.
He nodded slowly, patting your thigh to try to calm you down. “Of course… You’ll be fine. Everything’s gonna be okay…” At least he hoped it would be. He wasn’t really sure what he would do if you were… pregnant. All he knew was that he didn’t want to be a dad, he didn’t even know how to be a dad.
Your name was called and he followed you back into the room, shoving his hands in his pockets as he leaned against the wall, listening to you answer all the questions that the doctor asked you. He already knew something was off though, not by the way you looked though, it was the way he felt. As he watched the doctor poke at your stomach, he had to fight the urge to growl, the strong need to throw the doctor across the room and keep them as far away from you as possible. “So is she pregnant or not?” He asked through gritted teeth, his fists clenched tightly in his pockets, his nails digging into his palms.
“Well… By what she’s told me, she could be… But she could also just be very late, which can be caused by emotional changes or environmental changes. I’d like to do a sonogram, is that alright?” The doctor looked to you, and you nodded quickly. It would be the quickest way to find out, and you’d be able to see it yourself, and so would Satan.
You sat on the bed in his room back in the Devildom, the pictures still folded in your hands as you watched him. He was leaning against the wall, deep in thought as he chewed at his thumbnail. “Please say something…” You whispered. The nervousness you felt in the waiting room was nothing compared to how you felt right now. He hadn’t spoken at all since it had been confirmed and you didn’t know what he was feeling. “I’m… I’m sorry?” You weren’t sure what for, but hearing you say it had him dropping his hand from his mouth and walking over to you.
“You don’t have to… It’s not… Don’t get worked up about it, okay? I’m gonna… I’ll be right back.” He swallowed thickly, leaning down to kiss the top of your head before leaving the room. You weren’t sure where he was going or what he was doing, but you sat there and you waited. You waited for him to come back, you waited for what felt like forever. There was never a call or a text, there was nothing, and the hours passed on and on until you finally got up from the bed and went to find him.
There was no sign of him around though, and it even seemed like the brothers were trying to avoid you, their eyes averting whenever you entered the room, but you weren’t looking for any of them. You were looking for Satan who was nowhere to be found. “Do you know where he is? Did he go out?” The door to Lucifer’s office was half open, his fingers drumming across his desk as he stared at nothing in particular. It was clear that he knew something, and he knew something that he didn’t want you to know, or maybe you weren’t supposed to know. “Lucifer…? Where is he?”
He sighed, closing his eyes and rubbing his hands over his face as he shook his head, pushing himself away from his desk to get up, walking over to you quickly. “He said he needed to go. I sent him up, he said he’d be back soon, but I know him. He told me what’s going on…” His eyes glanced down to your stomach and then back up to your face. “He told me to look after you, which was strange. He never asks me to do anything, so he must be pretty conflicted.”
You were dumbfounded, to say the least… He had left. He had just up and left. Was it too much for him to handle? Did he not take into consideration how you might feel right now? How selfish could he possibly be? He needed to go? He had left you alone when you were the most vulnerable, when you needed him the most… he had left. You didn’t even know how to react, you didn’t know what to do. You surely couldn’t do this on your own. How long was he planning on even being gone? He said he’d be right back… How soon would that be?
Days passed and they soon turned to weeks, then they turned to months. Lucifer had kept his promise of looking after you even though you knew he didn’t really want to. It wasn’t exactly for Satan, it was more so for you. He thought that what Satan did was immature, childish, and irresponsible. He never said it around you, but you could hear him complaining about it to his other brothers and it only made you feel worse. You tried to find any reason, any excuse for him, to explain away what he did and why he did it because you didn’t want to be upset with him, you didn’t want to doubt him.
You sat in your room, looking down at your daughter who was swaddled snugly in her blankets. You hadn’t been alone when you had her, but no matter who was in the room, it still felt empty. He wasn’t there, he still hadn’t returned. You had given up hope that he ever would, and you had shifted your focus onto the baby girl that depended on you, that needed you.
The door to your bedroom creaked quietly, and you didn’t bother to look up. “Did I leave the sink running again? I’m sorry, Lucifer… I’m…” You were tired, running until the early hours of the morning with your daughter. You had no help, and you didn’t ask for the others to help, and even when they offered you’d decline. It wasn’t their job to fill in the blanks that Satan left, and you knew that you’d shortly adjust to doing things on your own.
“I don’t think you did. Do you do it often?” Your head whipped up at the sound of his voice, his smile was sheepish and his eyes were soft as he looked at you. One of his hands was filled with pink, gold, and green gift bags, and the other hand had shiny pink balloons that bounced against the ceiling as he walked closer. He saw the way you eyed him, surely confused about how he even knew that you had given birth to a girl and he shook his head, sighing softly. “I kept in touch with Lucifer the whole time… I needed to know you were okay… He told me.”
You let out an incredulous laugh, blinking a few times to really be sure that he was there. “You were gone…” You bit your lip, not wanting to lose your temper on him, not wanting to chase him away, but it wasn’t fair that he just got to show up at the end of everything. It wasn’t fair to you, not at all. “You were gone the whole time. You missed everything…” You whispered, taking a deep breath as you picked your daughter up and held her close to your chest.
He took it as an opportunity to sit down, taking the spot where she once was, his eyes lighting up slightly when he saw her in your arms. “I’m sorry. I needed time to think and… I didn’t know what to do…” He reached his hand out to brush his thumb over her head, smiling softly when he felt the little bit of peach fuzz that was growing. “It was selfish… And it wasn’t okay for me to leave you.” He took a deep breath, moving his hand from her head to cup your cheek. “I’m here now… and I want to be here. I want to be here with you… and her…” He leaned in to kiss your forehead before resting his own against it, closing his eyes and seeming to finally relax. “I’ll never leave again… I love you... Will you forgive me?”
#obey me#obey me swd#obey me shall we date#obey me!#obey me! swd#obey me! shall we date#om! swd#om! shall we date#obey me headcanons#obey me imagines#obey me scenarios#obey me x reader#obey me x f!reader#obey me x mc#obey me x f!mc#tw pregnancy#tw maternity#tw children#tw babies#tw childbirth#obey me Satan#obey me Satan x reader#obey me Satan x mc#satan avatar of wrath
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Mother’s Day Drabbles
Pairing: Angel Reyes x Black!Reader, Miguel Galindo x Black!Reader, EZ Reyes x Black!Reader, Obispo Losa x Black!Reader
Summary: Four drabbles with my four favorite men from Mayans MC commemorating Mother’s Day with their loves.
Warning(s): Grief, loss of a child in the last drabble (sorry to my bishop girls) but the other ones are all fluffy goodness
Word count: 1,545
AN: It’s almost Father’s Day so y’know what sounds good? Reading some EXTREMELY late Mother’s Day drabbles!! lol. I haven’t posted anything in so long and these were in the drafts so here we are. Enjoy these random ideas that popped into my head. Trying to force myself to get into shorter form writing like drabbles and headcanons. As always, questions, comments, and concerns are welcomed. Happy reading! xo
Breakfast in bed - Angel (fluff)
“Daddy shhh! You gots ta be quiet.”
“Lo siento princesa.”
You fought to keep your eyes shut and not smile as they tried and failed at surprising you. You wouldn’t ruin their efforts so you just listened as they came into the bedroom and something was set on your nightstand.
It was silent for a moment before a ball of energy landed firmly on top of you, knocking the wind out of you and fully waking you up.
“Good morning mommy. I made you breakfast in bed.” Your beautiful little girl told you once she saw your eyes open.
A throat cleared and your eyes connected with your husband’s.
“Oh, Daddy helped too.” She added, getting comfortable in your lap as you sat up against your headboard and adjusted the bonnet on your head.
“Oh he did? Well thanks for helping Daddy.” You teased, as he took a seat on the bed next to you.
“Anything for you. Happy Mother’s Day.” Angel leaned in and kissed you on the lips once, twice, three times. The last peck lingered a little too long and the princess was not amused.
“Let her eat! The food is gonna get cold.” She grumbled, and you broke down in giggles. That daughter of yours was a sass machine and she stayed on her daddy’s head. He loved every bit of it.
“Okay, okay.” He relented, a grin on his face. Anything for his girls.
Coming home to a spotless clean house - Miguel (fluff)
As your driver pulled into the driveway of your large home, she sighed knowing your day had only just become. After a full day of work, she knew as soon as you stepped foot in the house you would need to pick up after the kids from their time running the nanny ragged. Then, you’d have to get dinner cooked before wrangling the kids to eat, bathe, and then sleep. No clue if you’d see your husband or if he was having a late night.
You loved your life. You loved your family. Sometimes things could just be a little tiring. But you put that smile on your face and you made your way into the house.
The quiet was the first thing to hit and surprise you. Your home was never this quiet at this time of day. You slowly walked further into the house, your nose guiding you to the kitchen where a delicious aroma caught your attention. As you rounded the corner, you were shocked to see your husband standing at the stove.
“Miguel?” You asked, confused at his presence and the state of the house. Everything was clean and put away. He was at home at a decent time and not off somewhere handling business. Something was going on.
“Hello mi amor.” He walked closer to you before grabbing your face and kissing your lips. You’d missed him today so you added a little pressure to the kiss, but it didn’t last long as there was a burning question on your mind.
“What’s going on? Where are the kids?” You asked, head swiveling, as soon as you ended the kiss, to see if you could spot them. You didn’t even notice Miguel maneuvering you onto one of the kitchen stools.
“The kids are in their rooms, dinner is cooking, the house is clean and you are going to enjoy this chardonnay I bought for you.” He handed you a glass and you took it without complaint. A sweet smile spread across your lips as you realized he did all of this for you.
“You do so many wonderful things for this family. I want you to enjoy your night to yourself. I will handle putting the children to bed and you will relax for the night. Your dinner should be done by the time I get back downstairs but in the meantime, I know you’ve been wanting to catch up on the new season of A Black Lady Sketch Show. It’s queued up in the living room.”
A kid wrangling free night? Your favorite tv show and wine? He already bought you everything you could ask for but this? This is so much better than any present he could have come up with. “How did I get so lucky?” You pondered, a dreamy smile on your face.
“I ask myself the same question every day. Happy Mother’s Day.” He replied, kissing you again before going to fulfill his promise.
Spa day for expectant mom - EZ (fluff)
Knowing what comes with being pregnant and actually experiencing the symptoms are two very different things. You don’t wanna say you underestimated things, but you were in the middle of your third trimester and you weren’t handling things very well.
“EZ!! EZEKIEL!” You hollered for him, from where you sat propped up on the couch. Your back was killing you, you couldn’t see your feet but you knew they were a hot mess, and you just generally felt uncomfortable. You knew it would all be worth it in the end, but the end was taking too damn long to get here.
Your boyfriend had been incredibly understanding of your constant mood swings. When you first told him you were pregnant, he went out and bought a bunch of pregnancy books. He was always reading one that first trimester. Angel would tease him and say he could just google everything, but EZ had always preferred having physical copies of text. He wanted to know everything you’d go through so he could help you deal with it.
You call him now and he doesn’t respond. You grow annoyed, but also slightly concerned because he never doesn’t answer you.
It took several tries but you manage to get yourself off the couch and head back towards your bedroom. When you push the door open, a wide smile breaks out on your face. The lights in the room were dimmed and your favorite candles were lit, bathing the room in a soothing scent. Songs from your ‘self care day’ playlist filled the otherwise silent air. On the bed was the biggest, fluffiest robe you’d ever seen in your life. There was also a basket filled with goodies including face masks, different color nail polish, massage oil, and your favorite snacks.
“What is all of this?” You asked your boyfriend who had almost as big a smile on his face as you did.
“You didn’t seriously think I’d just let your first Mother's Day go by with no acknowledgment, did you?”
You blinked somewhat in surprise. “I...I mean yeah I guess. My first Mother’s Day is next year. Baby Reyes isn’t even here yet.”
“So? You’re carrying our child. You gonna let me spoil you or you gonna keep making excuses why I can’t?” He asked, his eyebrow raised and a sly smirk on his face.
“Spoil away then.” You grinned, holding out a hand for him to take before pampering you for the rest of the night.
Cuddles - Bishop (angst, heed the tw up top please)
The ray from the television was the only light source illuminating the living room. You were laying on your side on the couch, eyes on the tv but not truly paying attention to it. The light from the tv reflected off the tear stains left in her cheeks.
Bishop came back from dealing with club stuff and leaned on the doorway just watching you. He knew it was a rough day for you. Everyday was hard, but today was especially hurtful. He’d be feeling the same way just next month.
He placed his kutte onto the armchair and slipped off his shoes before climbing over you. You jumped a little at his presence but he just gently nudged you up so he could squeeze between you and the back of the couch.
One arm slid under your head and the other rested on your waist as he settled in. The hand on your waist reached out and gently ran a thumb over the little face in the picture frame you held tightly in your hands.
“Our sweet boy.” He whispered, a sad smile on his face.
Your breath hitched and your shoulders began to shake as you silently cried. You missed him so much. The whole day you stayed inside hoping to avoid all the mother celebrations, but that didn’t help. The hurt ran deep and no amount of avoidance could stop it. This day was a special slap in the face and every year the last three years have been spent like this.
Bishop curled the arm under your head until his elbow laid on your clavicle. He wrapped his other arm around your waist and pulled you tight against him.
“You’ll always be his mother. That love is forever.” He softly but firmly stated before pecking your shoulder over and over.
You released a breath you didn’t realize you were holding in at the feel of him squeezing you tightly. It was comforting. He was always holding you together. He understood your pain and even though it hurt worse some days than others, you knew you had to continue on.
But for right now, you would cry in your man’s arms and hope next year went better.
#mother's day drabbles#angel reyes#ez reyes#miguel galindo#bishop losa#obispo losa#black reader#hhgbyebruh fics
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I’ll Get There.
Harry Styles X Y/N
Y/N has been struggling with her body image ever since she was a teenager, but now that she was becoming a big time model, it had only gotten worse.
Warnings: mentions of eating disorders, and symptoms similar to those of a panic attack.
Word count: 2.4k+
gif not mine.
Y/N never realized that not everyone gets dizzy when they stand up too fast.
She just figured that it was something that happened to everybody, especially since it had been happening to her for years.
That’s why she was always confused when people asked what was wrong when she had to stop for a moment to gain her balance after standing up from where she was sitting.
It was later though, when Y/N realized exactly why everyone thought she was sick when she stood.
She had also been happily dating her boyfriend Harry for almost two years now, that’s when it got the worst.
Growing up in the spotlight, Y/N never realized how much it took a toll on your self image. She never liked your body, or your face, or your hair, or anything really.
And it didn’t help that her mother was a famous model for all of her teenage years, which was only ruined when she had Y/N accidentally at the age of twenty two.
She was an amazing mother nonetheless, but Y/N had always carried this sense of guilt among her unborn self. She knew that her mother was easily one of the most sought after models of her generation, and almost everyone knew who she was.
So when the tabloids got ahold of the fact she was pregnant, her career was basically over.
Babies ruin your body.
At around the age of sixteen, Y/N began to get into modeling, just like her mom, and just like the media had expected.
‘She’s a natural’
‘She takes after her mother’
‘Let’s hope she doesn’t make the same mistake her mother made’
She had heard it all.
But with the modeling industry, comes diets, and workouts, and healthy, green, disgusting smoothies. All of which were very bad for your mental state, by the way.
The modeling world was a whole different work than the one Y/N had been surrounded by for the first fifteen years of her life, and now she was in this new world, she realized how much prettier everyone else around her was.
It wasn’t bad at first, it was just a few skipped snacks, maybe a skipped meal here and there.
It wasn’t anything serious, it was just a calorie deficit, which is what she thought she needed anyway.
Everyone told her she looked wonderful, and that only encouraged her more.
It slowly progressed until she was around eighteen, she was put in an overnight hospital stay once, but it was simply brushed aside, since she claimed her malnourishment was just due to stress.
She promised her mother that she would start consciously eating more again.
She promised.
But later that year was when she began dating Harry. It was wonderful, and she didn’t have any doubts that she was beautiful, and he made sure of that.
But now two years later, the two of them were still going strong.
Y/N had gotten the job of any model's dream, getting to premiere at the Victoria Secret Fashion Show.
And it just so happened that her very own boyfriend was chosen to be the performer.
Y/N was excited at first, finally getting the chance to be able to get on stage with her boyfriend. But that didn’t last very long when she went on twitter a little after the announcement had been posted.
It was safe to say that most of Harry’s fans were not very pleased that she was going to be walking in the show.
But there was one tweet that made her particularly sick to her stomach.
It said; “It would be ten times cuter if it was Kendall walking that runway, Y/N could never compare to her”
It had now been almost a week since she had read that tweet, and it had made her want to cry. She had definitely had her moments where she fell completely apart while in the shower, but she could never do that in front of Harry.
She wouldn’t even know where to start.
Y/N had always been the type of person to hide her emotions, and most of the time she did it very well, that was until the dam finally broke.
That's when she decided to take a hot shower, thinking maybe it would relax her, and maybe even burn a few calories.
Harry didn't even realize how long his girlfriend had been in the shower, until he went to run the dishwasher and it wouldn't start.
That meant that there was zero hot water.
“Y/N?” He knocked on the bathroom door, hoping for a response, “are you okay?”
He didn't get a response at all, not vocally at least.
He heard the water turn off from inside the bathroom, figuring that his voice must have broken her out of a gaze of some sort.
He knocked again, “baby? Are you okay? You've been in there a while.”
His voice trailed off when he heard the door open slightly, promoting for him to open the ajar door fully.
Harry was shocked at what he saw, closing the door behind them to give them some privacy, even though no one else lived in their apartment.
The sight of the small girl was definitely a confusing one to Harry, seeing that he had no clue what Y/n had been struggling with for the past years, but especially the past few years.
She was curled in a ball, her arms wrapped around her legs, pulling them to her chest with her back against the wall. Sitting next to her was the digital scale that Harry frequently used to check his weight.
He approached her slowly, not wanting to startle her or make her think he was mad at her in any way.
When he got close enough to read the number that was being shown on the scale, he was appalled. He had to hold back his gasp as he crouched in front of her in order for his eyes to be level with hers.
“Hey,” He placed a hand on top of her knee, trying to grab her attention. “What’s the matter, love?” He was genuinely concerned for her now that he saw the fat tears rolling down her cheeks.
The only thing that his girlfriend did though, was look back down at her hands once they dropped to her lap, the tears continued flowing.
“You know you can tell me anything baby, I’m right here.”
“I-” The sniffles and hiccups that still leave her small body were absolutely heartbreaking to Harry. “I just, I hate m-myself.”
Harry didn’t even want to imagine what his facial expression looked like in that moment, because hearing his girl say that, absolutely broke him.
“Y/N,” He finally spoke shakily, rubbing his hands up and down her thighs as her legs straightened. “W-why?”
He never would have imagined that she was feeling like this, and that made him feel awful knowing that he maybe could have helped her sooner. She had been hurting for god knows how long and he had no idea.
“I know that you say that you think I’m pretty, and beautiful-” She cuts herself off when another sob racks her body. “But sometimes I think you just tell me that so you don’t hurt my feelings.”
It had taken her a while to regain her breathing at times, and Harry could see why. Her body was clearly fragile, and was working way harder than it should have to just to keep her lungs pumping.
He walked into their bedroom that was connected to the bathroom, quickly grabbing the Gatorade that he had set on the dresser a few moments ago when he had begun knocking on the door.
“Here, take a drink baby.” He tried to put the plastic bottle in her hand, but she wouldn’t even hold it before she was immediately pushing it away. “Y/N, you need to drink something.”
Her tears only got stronger, her breath becoming more erratic as she shook her head no.
Her skin was pale, and the bones of shoulder protruded from her body. She looked sick, but Harry didn’t want to admit that, even to himself.
“I can’t, Harry, I can’t.” The breath that she exhaled was ragged, prompting him to put the hand that wasn’t holding the Gatorade bottle on her back, running it up and down.
“Yes, you can baby. I promise, I will be here the entire time.” He nodded encouragingly, but she didn’t say a word. “Can you please just take one sip? If not you for, for me.”
The daunting look that she gave the plastic bottle was enough to make her start hyperventilating. “You don’t get it.”
“I know I don't,” He sighed loudly, “but I want to.”
“Why me?” Her voice was barely audible, making so Harry didn’t even hear what she said at first.
“What?” His large, ring-clad hand was still rubbing up and down her back in an attempt to make her breathe even out.
Y/N took a deep breath, like she was trying to figure out what to say. “Why do you want me? You could have literally any girl you want, yet you’re still here, and I just don’t get it.”
It probably seemed horrible when Harry stayed silent for a moment, staring blankly at her. But in all reality, he was just trying to come up with an answer that would be suitable enough to make her understand exactly how he felt about her.
“I just- I can’t help you understand how I’m feeling, and what I’m going through until I understand. I-i really need to understand.”
“You know that I love you so much, darling.”
That’s when the dam finally broke, the tears starting again, and Y/N’s hands angrily slamming down on the bathroom floor. “But why? Help me understand!” She bellowed, making Harry’s eyes widen.
“Understand what, love?” His voice was calm, and Y/N wasn;t surprised by it. He had never raised his voice at her in the slightest, and she didn’t think he was going to start.
“Why you chose me! You have a million girls literally at your feet that are so much prettier, and skinnier, and nicer-” Harry cut her off.
He knew exactly what she was doing. Her anxiousness always caused rambling like this where she would spill all of her feelings, and it made his heart ache that she could ever feel like this.
“I don’t want anyone else.” He said simply, grabbing her hands. “I love you because you light up any room that you walk into. I love the way you play with your hair when you’re being impatient. I love the way you immediately run to me when I walk in the front door. I love when you attempt to cook, even though you are horrendous at it, but I know you try for me.”
“I love every single thing about you, to the point that I don’t think I could ever look at anyone else with even remotely the same amount of admiration as I have when I look at you. You make me who I am, and no one else could ever fill my heart to the extent that you do.”
Y/N looked up at him, watching the single tear roll down his cheek. The only thing she could think to do was lean her head forward from where she was sitting in front of him, laying her head on his chest.
“Everybody’s mad that I’m going to be walking at the show while you’re performing. They all wanted you to be performing with Kendall.”
Harry’s hands went under her slim arms, picking her up with ease before placing her in his lap. “I don’t want to perform for anyone unless you’re walking that runway.”
“I love you.”
He kissed the top of her head, “I love you too.”
Y/N laid in his lap for a few more minutes before he stood up, wrapping his arms easily around the back of her thighs, pulling her legs to wrap around his torso.
“Why don't we eat something, make you feel better?” At this time, Harry had completely forgotten about the image of his girlfriend crying in front of the scale.
She shook her head as he laid her down against the comforter in their bed, “m’ not hungry.”
He knew better than that, “you haven't eaten all day, what's going on?”
“I’m preparing for the show, Harry.”
That’s when he definitely knew something was off, she never called him by his first name. He also saw the look on her face when he mentioned food, she looked sad, not only sad, but disgusted.
“Did you see the same number on the scale that I did?” He didn’t want to bring it up at first, but now he felt it was necessary to lightly mention it. “If anything, you’re underweight, Y/N.”
“The number on the scale means absolutely nothing when I still look like- like this.” She motioned down towards her body, making Harry frown.
He wrapped his fingers around her wrist, his thumb and pointer finger connecting immediately, basically overlapping them. “That is not healthy, baby. You need to eat in order to fuel your body, or else you will be so weak that you won’t even be able to make it down the runway.”
“I can’t be fat for this show Harry, I just can’t. There is too much speculation about me already, and I can’t be known as the fat Victoria Secret model, on top of being the girl who’s dating Harry Styles.”
“But you’re not fat, and I know that it’s hard for you to see since you’ve had to struggle with these types of things in the modeling industry for so long, but you need to eat.” She was already shaking her head, making Harry’s eyes well with tears.
“Please, Y/N, for me. I’m not asking for you to sit down and have a full course meal, maybe just something small, healthy even. How about a little side salad, would that be okay? You don’t even have to eat the whole thing.”
Finally, he got his girlfriend to agree, slowly nodding her head.
He kneeled onto the bed, wrapping his arms firmly around her. “You’re so beautiful, baby. I love you so much, thank you.”
“I love you too. A lot.”
Harry grabbed Y/N’s cheeks in his hands, feeling her strong cheekbones against his palms. “I just want you to be healthy, you know that, right?”
She smiled lightly, leaning her head into his hand, “I’ll get there.”
“I know you will.”
i hope you like my very first imagine that i have posted on this account! should i do a part two of the fashion show? lmk!!
#harry styles x you#harry styles x y/n#harry styles x ofc#harry styles blog#harry styles blurb#harry styles x reader#harry styles imagine#solo harry#harry styles#harry styles one shot#one direction#1d fan fiction#1d au#1d imagines#fanfic#tw ed things
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Carryin’ Our Child
Daryl x Reader
Request: Hiiii! Your writing is amazing, I recently found your blog and I’ve been obsessed! Could I please have a one shot with some extra protective Daryl because you both found out you are expecting a baby? The timeline could be S9/S10. Thank youuuu!
A/N: Confession, I haven’t watched past season 7 of The Walking Dead *shocked gasps*. I’m sorry. I attempted to write it from what I know on Season 9, but I’m very sorry if I got something wrong. I tried my best. I hope everyone enjoys this one. Very fluffy.
Warnings: fluff, protective Daryl, pregnancy
Adjusting the old plates covered with only the crumbs of what was once a full plate of food on your hip, you opened the door from the jail cell that held Negan and walked into the light once again. One of the Alexandrians had asked you to bring him some food as they had been too busy to get it done.
Before heading there, you had made sure Daryl wasn’t anywhere near you. He was so busy with trying to deal with the drama around Negan’s imprisonment as well as trying to build several pieces of infrastructure that you didn’t want to make him more anxious with something else. If he knew you’d gone to feed Negan, he would have lost his mind.
You dropped off the extra plates at the kitchens and decided to go back to the house. Your head was beginning to ache and your stomach was starting to feel uneasy. You’d heard the pregnancy symptoms in the first trimester could be absolutely brutal and they were living up to the hype. You and Daryl had only told Rick, afraid that informing too many people could put you in an awkward position. Rick was ecstatic and gave you both as many tips as he could.
You slowly walked towards the bathroom, taking your usual seat by the toilet that you’d grown so accustomed to. Everytime your stomach would lurch, you would lean over the bowl, trying to let it out so you could feel better, but it never came. Instead, you sat there in pain, wishing it would stop.
Soon, the sound of the front door opening and closing shut echoed through the house. Daryl’s voice projected to the upstairs where you sat. “I’m home. Where are ya?”
“In the bathroom,” You answered quickly, leaning over once again. You felt absolutely pathetic when the drool began to pool in your mouth.
Daryl clunked up the stairs, his footsteps letting you know he was getting closer. His eyes softened as he peeked in through the doorway. “Ya don’t feel good?”
You shook your head, your body forcing you to gag once again. Your boyfriend quickly rushed forward, holding your hair out of your face as you finally let out the sick you’d been holding in. You sighed once you were finished, learning back against the man behind you. He rubbed your shoulders slightly. “Thank you.”
“You should be cursing me for doin’ this to ya.”
You rolled your eyes and turned around. After finally getting everything out, you felt much better. “Well, I think having a child is worth being sick for a few weeks in the beginning.”
He smiled. He joked that he ‘did this to you’ because he felt bad that he couldn’t take the pain from you, but in reality, he was excited. You’d never seen him so thrilled about something. He wanted to talk about it all the time and constantly thought of different names. He secretly wanted a daughter, although he would never tell anyone.
“Can you help me to the bed?” You asked, using his strength to hoist yourself up. He assisted you in walking. You were weak after being sick and once you were in the bed, he brought you up some water as well.
He laid down with you, pulling up your shirt so he could see your belly. Daryl gently ran his hand over your belly. “You be nice to your mom. She’s tryin’ her best.”
People who were only slightly familiar with Daryl would have never seen or even thought of him in this way. They would have likely imagined he would be a terrible father. You were so pleased that he loved the unborn child so much. It meant everything in the world. He kissed you softly as he laid back down beside you. “I feel like they’re gonna love you more than anything else.”
He immediately shook his head at your comment. “They’re gonna love ya so much, ya can’t even imagine. I can tell. You’re gonna be the best mom in the whole world.”
His words warmed your heart. There were always doubts about the limitations of being parents in the world but you knew that if the child had the two of you, they would be just fine. You and Daryl would give parenting everything you had and it would pay off in the end, even if it was hard in the moment.
“What did ya do today?” He questioned, unconsciously rubbing your pregnant belly, even if you weren’t showing yet.
You had to come up with an excuse and quickly. The first thing that came to mind was a friend of both of yours. “Aaron needed some help with cleaning his arm up a bit. I went over there to give my assistance.”
His brows furrowed and he nervously bit at his fingernails. “Michonne told me she saw you over by Negan’s cell.”
Your heart dropped. You hadn’t thought that someone might have seen it and mentioned it casually to Daryl just out of habit. If you had told her to keep the secret, she definitely wouldn’t have told Daryl, but she had no idea. “Someone was busy and asked if I would bring food to him. Daryl, it was no big-”
He cut you off, immediately standing up with an angry expression on his face. He ran a hand through his tangled hair. You sat up quickly, leaning against the backboard. You hated making him feel this way. He was so inexperienced when it came to relationships and actually worrying about someone’s safety, you tried to live your life so he didn’t have to actually worry about it.
“How could ya do this, Y/N?” He gestured wildly, his voice holding an annoyed tone. “Why would ya risk going in there?”
You stood as well, understanding now there might be an argument. “He’s not going to just attack me for no reason, Daryl. I was safe. I didn’t even step foot in the cell.”
“He’s killed so many people. Do you think he wouldn’t kill ya?”
“I’m in my first trimester, Daryl. I can’t just sit in bed all day waiting for you to get home to do things for me. That would not only destroy my mental health, but my physical health as well.”
He wasn’t sure what to say. You could nearly see all of the emotions in his eyes. Anger, concern, worry. He was feeling so conflicted, so absolutely broken inside. He wanted nothing more than for you to stay locked in a room all day so he could make sure you were safe, as impractical as it was.
“I’m just askin’ that you try not to do anything dangerous, Y/N,” He began to calm slightly, holding your shoulders as he got closer to you. “You’re carryin’ our child in you right now. I just don’t want to have to worry all the time that you’re doin’ somethin’ reckless.”
You knew that this anger, this concern, came from a desire to protect you. His self-esteem was generally pretty low and one thing he actually felt he brought to the table was protection. He knew he was capable of protecting you and he would do it even if it took his own life. “I’ll try, Daryl. I know you just want myself and our baby to be safe.”
He nodded, bringing you in for a tight hug. “I want to tell everyone. I don’t want people askin’ ya to do things. If they know you’re pregnant, they’ll be more careful with some of the jobs they give ya.”
At first, you were hesitant. You were enjoying the fact that this baby was a secret between you and Daryl. The more you thought about it, though, the more you realized it was probably a good idea. People would begin to either notice or assume soon if you didn’t tell them directly. You slowly nodded your head.
“I agree, Daryl. It’s time to tell everyone.”
#daryl dixon#daryl dixon x reader#daryl x reader#daryl x you#daryl dixion imagine#one shots#imagines#the walking dead#the walking dead one shots#the walking dead imagines
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Howdy! I'd love to request Yandere Tifa Lockhart with a s/o that tries to escape her. Thank you!
Ok!!
Sorry this was an little angsty, but I really wanted to explore how her experiences led to her yandere trait's. Trigger warning for don coreno, nothing explicit, just trauma from the event.
Tifa had many admirers, alot of whom where in high places. There was nothing she hated more then those men who wouldn't stop. Early on in your relationship you told her that she was started to adapt the behavior of her abusers, her possessiveness sometimes rubbed you the wrong way. She broke down crying. She explained that this was different. She did everything because she loved you so so much, that she was scared to loose you because you were the first person who genuinely seemed to love her for more than the surface. Who didn't see her as an object to be won. The guilt from your accusation caused you to fall into an flurry of self hatred. You both blamed it on your self destructive nature, hurting yourself because you hated yourself. She held you with your head burried in her lap, kissing the top of your head "just let yourself be happy, you deserve to be happy". She just wanted to protect you from all the people who saw her as an prize, who wanted to break her down and mold her into someone else. Who wanted to hurt her because she looked pretty when she cried.
All of that made you feel even worse for what you where about to do. It's not that you where trying to leave her.. you just wanted to check up on a sick friend. Tifa would only let you leave 7th heaven with her by your side. If you asked her she would have taken you, but it was an busy day for the girl. You needed to check up on your friend now and you didn't want to give her another thing to do. You waited till she was in an deep sleep and slipped out of the bed. You ran over to your friends house for an quick visit. They where unable to sleep due to their painful symptoms, so you stayed well into the night, watching movies to distract them.
Your eyes caught the sunrising from the window "fuck, I gotta go home" in a rush you gathered your things. You looked at your phone to check the time, "7 missed calls from tifa" shit. You opened messenger, but your phone died before you could type an single letter. You ran out of the apartment and towards 7th heaven. "Tifa" you shouted as you opened the door. "Y/n" an sleepy small voice whispered. Marlene was standing by the pinball machine, clutching her pink blanket. "Sweetie, what are you doing up" you bowed down to her level. "Tifa left" "oh, okay, just go back to bed honey it's alright" Marlene nodded , you waited until she had left untill you sprinted over to the bars phone. Dialing tifa as fast as you could. "Hello" tifa's voice was shaking, "tifa baby I am so sor-""were are you" she interrupted "I'm at 7th, are you okay" tifa hung up. You sat down, preparing your explanation.
After a few minutes tifa burst through the door, tackling you with an hug. "Why, why did you leave" "I just went to check up on an friend" tifa grabbed your shoulders, "without me" tifa scolded. "I didn't want to bother you". "You never bother me!!" You sighed,"I don't get why this is such an big deal, I'm a big girl tifa, I can take care of myself" "you can't!!" Anger bubbled inside of you "I'm not an idiot tifa!". "You just don't understand, the type of people out there" tifa cried out. Tifa continued "there are people out there who want to do terrible things to me, to you. What if HE got you" now you understand her paranoia. "Sephiroth's dead tifa" tifa looked up confused. "I know, it's someone else y/n" "who?". "Don coreno" she said his name like each letter of it burned. Pulling you close to her she elaborated. "He didn't get the chance to do anything, but he would've, and he will if he gets it." Guilt twisted your heart, seeing her like this broke you. "Y/n, my baby, I don't want you to ever experience those types of looks, you stay up at night haunted by what could have happened, I'm strong so I can save myself, but you. It could actually happen if I'm not there to protect you".
You held her for an while, her hot tears ran down your neck as she cried , her face buried in the nape of it. "Let's get some sleep" she nodded.
You where able to hobble out of the bar,her body leaning on you. Collapsing onto the bed the two of you drifted off to an light yet peaceful sleep. Which was quickly pulled away from you when Marlene crawled between you. "Had a nightmare" "why you crawling in with us" tifa's voice was slightly raspy from crying. "Daddy's to big, I'm crushed" Marlene pouted "he snooooores to loud" you drifted off to sleep, the sounds of Marlene describing her nightmare to tifa. Their voices muted and words distorted
#yandere tifa#Yandere tifa Lockhart#yandere final fantasy#Yandere ff7#Yandere tifa Lockhart x reader#yandere wlw
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The Forgotten One
First Previous
Chapter 4
Everything hurt. Her body felt as if it was on fire, her limbs were heavy and her head was pounding, she tried to open her eyes and understand her surroundings, but they refused to cooperate so she sought to use her other senses to identify where she was, even in a lot of pain she couldn’t forget her training, so she remained calm until she knew what she’s dealing with. It only takes her a couple of seconds to remember what happened. The attack on the League, the Temple crumbling to the ground and her being trapped under it. After that it was a void, so she must have passed out at some point.
She could tell she wasn't still trapped under the rubber because she could feel the softness of a mattress under her and not the hard temple training grounds, it was either nighttime or she was in a room without windows. She couldn’t hear a thing that indicated that there was another person with her, but she can identify cars in a far distance, so she must be close to a city. She feels cared for, so rules out being captured for now.
She isn’t sure how long she laid there, but streams of lighting start to appear somewhere above her from what she can see with her closed lids. The sun is up when she finally can open her eyes.
She is in a bare room, that must be used as storage from all of the boxes around. She’s in an attic in an elevated part that contains just the bed, an iron stair makes way into the second part of the room, she can see from her position that the only way out is through the trap door on the floor, although she can assume that the lighting coming from above her must lead to a balcony. She feels better now, her pain is gone and her limbs ultimately start to obey her again. She had just sat up when the trap door started to open.
She prepares herself for what is to come, she does not have any weapons and she’s not sure she can beat another assassin in a fight in her current state, even with the pain now gone. To her surprise is her godmother that enters the room she’s resting in. She carries a plate with food and a glass of water. She has a warm smile that Marianne has only seen a couple of times, normally reserved for birthdays and celebrations, but still reassures her that she’s safe and cared for.
“It's good to see you’re finally awake. Gave us quite a scare”
“Where am I?”
“Safe” With her tone she can tell that the conversation is over, so she simply accepts the plate that is offered and starts to eat what's been given, a tasty sandwich with a red tart at the side. If it was any other person that came into the room she wouldn’t have been so quick to accept the food, but she knew that her godmother would never hurt her, she was one of the only people she trusted with her life, like a second mother to her.
“How do you feel?” Sabine asks only after the food is gone.
“Surprisingly fine. The pain is gone and I feel normal again. How is this possible? Where are we? How long was I out? What happened with the League? What happened to Damian? Is he here? Is he safe?” The questions jump out of her mouth before she can control them. Rambling has always been a trait of hers, one that she thought to be long under control. But given the situation, she can’t blame herself to look after answers.
But Sabine calmly answers every one of her questions. She doesn’t get into details about the attack but she understands that one of her grandfather’s star pupils betrayed them and orchestrated the attack to take the Demon Head power to himself and rule over the Order of Assassins. Sabine and Master Fu were together at the Temple when it all started and went to look for her, only to realize that she must have thought the same and went to look for them. They saw her being crushed by the falling debris, and they were the ones that dug her out.
She died.
That piece of information stays in a loop in her mind. She died. Master Fu brought her back. Being brought back to life wasn’t impossible, she knew that her grandfather had been doing that for centuries, but he needed the Lazarus Pits for that, and she knew the symptoms of someone that used them, she had seen them first hand from her grandfather or when she was in charge of training a recruit that her mother had taken pity on. She was only ten, and the boy 13 at the time. One of her most proud accomplishments. Her grandfather was so proud of her for training the next generation, even if the boy was technically older than her. She knew the symptoms and she definitely wasn’t brought back using these methods.
“Master Fu will arrive here shortly, he can explain it better”
“Where is here? Where are we? Where's Damian?” She’s desperate, she needs to know where her baby brother is. That he is safe. “Please tell me he’s here!”
Sabine has a heartbroken expression on her face, and that's all the confirmation she needs. The tears roll down her face before she can stop them. All her efforts had been in vain, Damian wasn’t here.
“We are in Paris. He’s not here, but he’s safe” Her godmother tries to reassure her, she dries the tears in her face and strokes her hair trying to comfort the distraught girl. “He’s in a safe place as well, your mother made sure of that. But for now, you can’t go after him, Master Fu will explain why, you just have to trust me when I say I only want what’s best for you”
She then proceeds to tell her best-kept secret so far. She’s married, and they are at her husband’s house, above his bakery. She tells her of how in one of her missions she met the love of her life. But because of her, she knew she couldn’t leave the League just yet, she needed to be there for little Marianne and her bright smiles, to make sure the League didn’t kill the kindness in her. She always visited Paris after a mission. It became some kind of ritual, and no one ever questioned it. Her husband, Tom, knew about her lifestyle and knew that she couldn’t just leave her goddaughter behind, he respected that, even loved how caring his wife was. Sabine begs Marianne to not be guilty that she couldn’t have a better kind of life because of her.
“The best thing in my life is knowing that I helped raise the most selfless and kind woman, I’m so proud of what you become. Never forget that.”
By the time Master Fu finally arrives she’s just so tired. But her need for answers is bigger, so she allows her godmother to guide her to the living room. When they get there she’s surprised, to say the least. Her master is there, but he is not alone. He’s accompanied by two very anxious Kwamis.
“Marianne is so great to finally meet you! I’ve been waiting for this moment for so long!” Tikki, The Goddess of Creation addresses her. But she stays there stunned. She grew up learning about these entities, preparing for the moment she would get to meet them, but there she stays, unable to properly function. So much has been happening in the last 24 hours, and she feels like she’s in shock.
“Great job sugar cub, you broke the kid” Plagg, The God of Destruction comments.
“She’s probably just surprised to finally see us, don’t be rude”
It feels surreal to see these mystical creatures just bickering like children in her godmother’s husband’s living room. She almost feels like she’s dreaming. Feeling her discomfort, Master Fu decides it is better to address the situation.
“Come sit Marianne. It’s time I give you some answers.”
For the next hour, she learns a part of history she never knew about.
Her Master calmly explained to her that by the time they were able to release her from the ruins of the temple, it was too late. But something in him knew there was still hope. Because she was Tikkis chosen, her soul takes more time to disconnect itself from the physical world, so The Grand Guardian did something that wasn’t wrong but still considered taboo. He asked Tikki to use her energy in order to anchor her spirit back into her body. He didn’t use the wish from the Miraculous, so it wasn’t as dangerous. That had only been done once, somewhere when the pharaohs were still in power. One of the Guardians had fallen madly in love with a woman chosen by Tikki, but she got sick and died. Consumed with grief he ordered the Kwami into bringing her soul back.
Because it had happened so long ago they didn’t know the reaction it would cause in her already existing powers. So, for now, it would be better if she stayed in Paris, close to her Master’s, where she could finish her training and receive guidance if needed. They still didn’t know the situation within the League, so it was best to lay low for a while.
So there she stayed. For a whole month, she lived with her godmother and got to know the man she called her husband. It was funny, that the super badass and strict woman everyone knew would turn into the warmest person when around the baker. Marianne could tell they loved each other very much just by the way they looked at the other. In the League love was not something that happened very often. So it felt nice to be in contact with something so pure.
She also kept going on with training, just like Master Fu said they would. It was as if her life was completely new but completely equal to what it was before. She would wake up early, eat something, normally delicious made by Tom, and go to where her master was living, a massage parlor that served as a disguise from his real job as her teacher. They would start by meditating and then move into physical training. It was different, Fu wasn’t so young anymore so now she tended to train alone. She missed her brother so much that it hurt. Knowing where he was but not if he was okay. She wished that there was a way for her to contact him, but knew it would be safer if she didn’t. Just knowing he was with Father makes her feel a little better, she remembers her Mother’s stories of the fearless Batman, so if the time comes she knew he would be safe.
Nothing out of ordinary happened so far, her powers kept the same, maybe a little more intense, but nothing she couldn’t handle. But they were confident that there would not be any other side effects so far. Everything was back to normal, or that’s what they thought.
Imagine their surprise when on one of their meditation sections the both were suddenly overwhelmed by the intense energy that they received. It was dark, nothing like she ever had felt.
“Master, what was that? I have never felt something like it” Her teacher looked like he had seen a ghost, pale and with an anxious expression
“I’ve only felt this type of energy once. We must prepare, something bad is on our horizon. It’s time to activate your miraculous”
“What? Are you sure Master? Please tell me what is going on!” She pleaded.
“The Peacock and the Butterfly Miraculous, a long time ago, when I was just an apprentice, were thought to be lost. This was when The League and the Order were constantly at war. Some of my fellow disciples got greedy. They wanted the power the Miraculous had to offer, they thought themselves worthy of wielding their power and destroying the League of Assassins. There was a fight, and the first Temple of The Order was compromised. Some of us escaped, but we lost a lot. That day… I felt the same type of energy. I believe somewhere in this city, someone is preparing to cause chaos. We must be ready for when it happens.”
“How do we do that?”
“We need to find the Cat Miraculous wielder”
Next
There is a little easter egg in this chapter, let’s see if anyone can tell what it is! The taglist is still open so feel free to ask to be tagged! Please tell me what you thought of this chapter, I’m dying for some feedback
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Choose Me Instead II Draco Malfoy x Reader II Chapter 19 of 27: Cursed
Summary: Pretending to be in a relationship with Draco Malfoy to get back at your ex might have not been the smartest idea you ever had. Especially during your last year of Hogwarts where you should be focusing on exams and your future plans. However, you were just pretending. There was no way in hell you could actually catch feelings for someone like Malfoy. … Right?
CHOOSE ME INSTEAD MASTERLIST
CHOOSE ME INSTEAD PLAYLIST
A/N: Better late than never lol! Here it is! Thank you for being patient though! ilysm <3 This was a difficult one, I hope you like it! Btw, I recently found out that Dracos mum is called “Narcissa” and not “Narzissa” in the english version. She’s called “Narzissa” in the German Books. However, I’ll keep calling her Narzissa in this story (because I’m lazy and don’t want to change it). Enjoy!
Words: 3.4k
Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Reader, post war
Warnings: tw eating disorder (mentions of it) --> please be aware that the way eating disorders are approached by the purebloods in this story is not something i (the author) approves of. I just thought it’d be a more realistic way for them to act like this.
It felt wrong.
Draco only used the Room of Requirements to be with you. He never went here on his own. Not that he would ever admit it – but the room scared him. The last time he’d been here alone was at the beginning of this school year. He found out then that it didn’t change for him anymore. All he saw when he walked in were the dirty, cracked windows and the flies and spiders that died in front of them. Old furniture, forgotten books and dirt was scattered around, piling up and towering over him.
As he stood there, his gaze was drawn to the end of the room. Hiding behind the corners, buried under black linen, there it was. The vanishing cabinet. He felt its presence. Looming, waiting, calling for him. Alright, to be fair, the last part was probably only in his imagination. It didn’t change his feelings towards this particular room of Hogwarts though.
It was different when you were with him. It changed for you and turned the monster that it was for Draco into a purring housecat. With you, it felt like a vacation. As if he had travelled to a small cottage, far away from roaring cities or ancient castles.
However tonight, you were not here. Astoria Greengrass had taken your place. She sat on a couch across from Draco, back straight, hands neatly folded in her lap. Her black hair was tied up in a bun and not a single strand of hair was out of place. The spitting image of her mother, Draco thought. He had always wondered about how different the Greengrass sisters looked. Astoria inherited the sharp features, thin lips, and slim figure of her mother. Daphne resembled their father a lot more with her round face, long blonde hair, and the doe-like eyes. The both of them were like night and day. Yin and Yang.
Draco looked around the room which had turned into a smaller version of the Slytherin common room. All the important details where there – from the green colors to the Slytherin emblems on the pillows and carpet. Only the windows were out of place. They didn’t offer him a view inside of the lake but were the same cracked ones, he had seen one too many times in his life. It reminded him that he wasn’t here with you.
It felt wrong.
***
Draco leaned back against the chair. He crossed his leg and his fingertips tapped a non-recognizable rhythm on his right upper thigh. Astoria didn’t look up at him when she spoke. He could tell that the words had been carefully chosen in advance. Remembered and recited in front of a mirror. Yet she couldn’t meet his eyes. Draco noticed the way she plucked at the skin on her thumb.
When you’d ask him tomorrow for how long the conversation went on, he wouldn’t have an answer. Time seemed to stand still the moment Astoria opened her mouth for the first time.
“Say something,” she whispered when she finished, and the silence became unbearable.
Draco noticed that there wasn’t a fireplace. Another thing that the Room of Requirement had gotten wrong.
“Say something,” Astoria repeated herself, her voice shaking a little more this time.
Draco stopped the tapping. “Is that why?”, he finally asked.
She hesitated and then nodded. Draco sighed and looked out of the window.
“I’m sorry,” he said after a while.
Astoria scoffed. “Me too.”
“I am,” he looked back at her.
For the first time since he had entered the room, Astoria lifted her head. When her eyes met his, he saw the anger in them. “I’m dying and all you have to say is ‘Sorry’?”, she spat out.
“You don’t know that,” Draco said matter-of-factly.
Astoria raised her eyebrows. “What?”
“That you’re dying.”
She looked at him as if he was a little slow in his head. “I … I just told you.”
“You told me about the family curse,” Draco corrected her. “No one can say if it will happen to you.”
She let out a huff, stunned by his reaction. Had he not listened to a word she said? “I told you about the clairvoyant at Knockturn Alley!”
“Seers say a lot of shit.” He shrugged and added: “Especially when you pay them.”
Astoria lost her posture – with wide eyes and a shake of her head, she let herself slump back against the pillows. “I can’t believe you’re not taking me seriously.”
Draco sighed and began tapping on his thigh again. The same rhythm from before. “I am, Astoria. I believe you.”
But I don’t want to, he added in his mind. He had heard rumors of the Greengrass curse before – only once, when he was maybe eight or nine years old and while he pretended to be asleep on an armchair, he listened to his mother and her friend.
“The poor woman,” Narzissa had said. “And those girls …”
“We don’t know if it will happen to them,” her friend replied softly.
“Why risk it though?”, he remembered his mother ask. “And decide to give birth to not only one but two girls?”
“Well, if one dies, she will still have the other.”
Looking back, the joke was tasteless and not the least bit funny. He didn’t remember how his mother responded to it. Back then, Draco didn’t understand what the women were talking about. So he had shoved the memory back and forgot – until tonight.
When Astoria came up to him at the Winter Dance, she was more … vague. Talking about how something had changed in her life, how decisions were made for her and that she was left with no option but to finally confine in him. Merlin, Draco had thought she was pregnant. This was worse – for obvious reasons.
“If you believe me, why are you like this?”, her voice ripped him from his thoughts. Draco hadn’t notice that he was staring out of the window again.
He cleared his throat and focused back on the Slytherin girl. “I believe you’re overexaggerating.” It was the truth. Or better – it was a truth. The one he was able to share with her.
“I’m dying.”
“You’re not!”, he replied with a sharp voice.
Astoria flinched.
Draco sighed and leaned forward. “Look,” he continued, much softer now. “I’m sorry. You’re obviously very scared of this – and honestly, who wouldn’t be after receiving such news.” He paused. “But didn’t you just say you never experienced any symptoms?”
She looked to the ground. “Yes.”
“See?”, a smile played around the corners of his lips. “Stop beating yourself up about it.”
Astorias gaze stuck to the ground. His words didn’t ease her pain, he saw that. “I … Look at me, Draco,” she then mumbled.
Draco tilted his head. “I am.”
“No, truly look at me!” She lifted her head. “What do you see?”
He stared at her for a while. What do you want me to say? He refrained himself from asking that. Instead, for the first time in years, he truly looked at her. Her school uniform was in perfect condition, no spot or loose thread in sight. The diamond earrings sparkled in the soft light and around her neck hung a delicate golden necklace. Her outer appearance was perfect. As always. The only thing that was different were her eyes. He frowned when he saw it. The fire in them. Gone. The arrogant spark, challenging every Ravenclaw and Gryffindor that didn’t get out of her way fast enough. He wondered when it had left her.
“I resemble a corpse! I swear, my grandmother had a better complexion than me on the day she died!”, Astoria continued after another minute of silence.
Oh. Draco blinked. She meant that? He wouldn’t have noticed that in a hundred years.
“And I’m so thin and –”
“Because you’re starving yourself,” Draco interrupted her and immediately scolded himself for it.
Astoria, who was in the middle of shifting to a different position, stopped, and stared at him. “What?”
Draco pondered for a moment about his next words. Astoria and her fucked up relationship towards food wasn’t a secret. Well, not since fourth grade when rumors started spreading about the true reasons of why she was always so eager to get to the nearest bathroom after meals. And then her bones began to stick out underneath her school uniform. Everyone noticed it. Everyone looked the other way. Problems like hers … they weren’t uncommon among their circles. Yet, they were problems to keep to behind closed doors. They were private. Nothing to talk about.
“Everyone needs an outlet for the stress that comes with living like we do,” his father had once said. “Women are just worse in finding the right one.”
Oh, how he hated his father.
Draco smiled sadly at Astoria. “Everybody knows, Astoria.”
“Knows what?”, she asked sharply.
“That you have issues with food.”
Astoria blinked. “I … you’re such an asshole,” she then exclaimed. “You’re an asshole, Draco Malfoy.”
Draco sighed and shifted positions. “Anyways,” he tried to change the subject. “You’re scared, I get it. But so far, you don’t have any symptoms. In fact, you started feeling ill once your mother went with you to see the seer, right? It frightened you and now you can’t stop focusing on that fear.”
Astoria scoffed. “Thanks, Mr. Therapist. You’ve got it all figured out, haven’t you?”
“No,” he shook his head. “I’m just guessing. It doesn’t make sense to care so much about something that might not even happen to you.”
“Doesn’t make sense to you, you mean”, Astoria corrected him.
Draco frowned.
“Because your problems are much more important.”
“My problems are real.”
That was probably the wrong thing to say in this situation. Even Draco realized that. The words had just slipped out. He hated to admit it but the egocentric, narcissistic part of himself believed them.
Astoria stood up abruptly. She smoothed over the fabric of her skirt and tucked a strand of hair that had fallen out of her bun behind her ear. She then looked at him, no expression on her face. When she spoke, her voice was calm and quiet: “Fuck you.”
With long steps Astoria made her way towards the door.
“Shit,” Draco mumbled under his breath and got up as well. “Astoria!”
She didn’t turn around.
“Astoria, wait! Please!”
The last word made her stop, hand already reaching for the doorknob. As she turned around, there was a bitter smile playing around her dark red lips. “Why?”, she asked him. “I trusted you with something and all you’re giving me is shit.”
Draco looked down to the ground and then back up. “I don’t know how to respond to this.”
“With empathy, Draco,” she folded her arms in front of her chest. “You might want to look that word up.”
Draco let out another deep sigh. A part of him secretly wished she would ignore him and just leave. It would be easier for him. Knowing this wasn’t an option for her, he finally walked towards Astoria. He pulled her into his arms and hugged her tightly. His words had failed him, they had made everything worse for her and he hoped from the bottom of his heart that this would ease her pain just a little. Astorias body went stiff at first – only after a few seconds did she let her body relax. She leaned into his embrace as if someone took a weight off her shoulders.
“You know I’m here for you,” Draco whispered. “And I will be there in case …”
“In case, I’m dying after all.”
When Draco breathed in, he could smell her lavender shampoo. “Yes.”
Suddenly, her petite body began to tremble. At first Draco mistook it for giggling, then he heard the soft whimpers against his shoulder.
“It’ll be fine. I promise.” He hugged her tighter.
“You can’t promise me that,” she sniffed.
Draco let go of her and took a step back. He put a hand to her cheek, making her look at him. “The curse hasn’t been around for decades. It might skip your generation again.”
Her eyes were red and her cheeks puffy, silent tears running down them. “I’m so scared.”
“I know.”
“Please marry me.”
Draco closed his eyes at her plea. His head suddenly hurt and he wished you were here. You’d know how to handle situations like this.
“Astoria …”
“I know you don’t love me,” she interrupted him, her voice still trembling. “You couldn’t.”
He opened his eyes, looking at her in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“You love her.”
Her. You. Draco blinked. “What? No, I –”
“I realized it on New Years Eve.” She wiped the tears from her cheek, still holding on to him with her other hand. Astoria cleared her throat. “I didn’t believe it in the beginning but … it’s so obvious. You love her so much, how could I ever expect you to look at me the same way you look at her?”
Draco shook her head. “Astoria –”
“But you know the relationship has no future. Neither of your families would ever agree to it. You know it. You know it in your heart.”
The piercing pain in his forehead grew stronger. When he’d remember this moment, Draco wouldn’t be able to describe his feelings. Her words barely managed to get through to him. You love her, he heard her say over and over again. You love her.
No. He didn’t love you.
He couldn’t.
“Marry me,” Astoria repeated herself and took a step closer again. She had to lift her head to look into his eyes. “My family will secure the future of the Malfoys.”
“I …”
You love her. You love her. You love her.
“What do you get out of it?”, he finally managed to get out and tried to focus back on her, feeling weirdly out of breath.
Another tear rolled down her cheek. No sobs this time. “Once people will be able to see the sickness …”, she hesitated. “I won’t be looked at as the second daughter who’s living in her sister’s shadows.”
You love her.
Draco furrowed his brows at her words, utterly irritated by them. “Nobody thinks that, Astoria.”
She laughed. “Yes, they do! Daphne has always been prettier, smarter, more desired. I can’t compete with her. I am the leftover Greengrass that no one wants and that’s now dying from a family curse. Because of fucking course it would hit me and not my picture perfect sister!”
Draco stared at Astoria.
“But with you,” she continued. “With you people would see that I’m more than that. That I’m worthy of attention and of love despite … being me.”
This is wrong on so many levels, he could hear your voice in his head, clear as day.
“Have you met with the therapist yet?”, Draco suddenly asked out of the blue.
“What?” The Slytherin was thrown off by his question. “Yes.”
“Did you talk to her about this?”
Hearing this made her drop his hands, taking a few steps back. She buried her face in her hands, taking a deep breath. “Oh, fuck you, Draco!”, Astoria muttered. “Stop trying to analyze me!”
“I’m not!”, he assured her. “But … Astoria, this is so fucked up what you just said to me.”
She looked back up at him. “You’re such a hypocrite.”
“Excuse me?”
She chuckled. “You spent a few months with a Gryffindor and now you act like our values mean nothing to you when you are the one who used to scream ‘mudblood’ the loudest.”
Draco swallowed.
“Merlin, what is wrong with me,” Astoria sighed. “After everything I just confessed, you don’t find it in you to show me a little mercy and change your mind?” She smiled at him sadly. “Do you want to marry me?”
“No.”
You love her.
***
The talk with Astoria left him feeling uneasy.
It handed after she asked Draco to marry her a second time and he declined. She nodded when she heard his answer, sniffled, wiped the remaining tears away and left. Not without saying “You’ll change your mind sooner or later”. When she was gone, she didn’t take the anxiety with her. Draco had to deal with that on his own. Now, as he walked through the halls of the old castle, his steps were stiff, and he had deep lines between his eyebrows.
“Calm down, she has no symptoms,” he mumbled to himself as he turned another corner.
Yet.
What if he would be wrong after all? What if the curse wouldn’t skip another generation of Greengrass women and fall upon her? What if she would die and he made her last remaining years even more miserable in her eyes because he turned down the proposal?
What if, what if, what if.
He wanted to talk to you about all of it. You’d tell him he didn’t have to feel bad. He didn’t owe Astoria. He shouldn’t be put in this position in the first place. You would find the right words. To be honest, Draco knew all of this himself. He just wanted to hear you say it out loud. Hear the words from another person to ensure that he was right. That he wasn’t crazy or selfish for not sacrificing his life, his future, for a dying girl.
“She’s not dying,” he reminded himself. A Hufflepuff boy passed him and frowned.
“My family will secure the future of the Malfoys.” It was the argument his mother had used against him countless times. He was certain that he’d hear it a lot more often soon. He was aware of how strong the argument truly was. His family could return to their former glory with all the luxury that came along with it. Fancy parties, status, high-paying careers – something he had been promised his whole life and that was stripped away the moment he was forced to become a Death Eater. The promise of a good life. An easy life.
Maybe life shouldn’t be easy for them. At least not so fast. Maybe his father shouldn’t come home from Azkaban one day to live like nothing ever happened. No, Lucius Malfoy deserved to suffer longer than his time in prison. And ultimately, so did his mother and Draco.
Draco gritted his teeth at his thoughts. He couldn’t marry Astoria. Not for that reason. Not to make the life of his family easier. His parents needed to work and plea for their redemption. Just like he did.
“Watch it, Malfoy!”, Seamus Finnigan hissed when he bumped into him. He came out of the library, a stack of books in his arms.
Draco didn’t look at him. Until now, he hadn’t even noticed that he was walking towards the library. It made sense though. The bag that hung from his shoulder seemed to become heavier with every step. The black notebook. He needed to write.
***
You sat alone on a table, hunched over a book. More of them piled up next to you, accompanied by an overused quill and bottle of ink.
Exams, Draco remembered. How easy it was to forget those mundane things in the midst of all the sadness. Exams, followed by entrance tests to become an Auror. Draco smiled at the thought of you fighting evil. He was certain that you’d excel at it.
He stopped in the middle of the corridor, not caring about the annoyed huffs and curses from students who almost ran into him. He watched you. The way you sometimes licked the tip of your finger before turning a page. How you sighed and frowned when you didn’t understand a passage.
You love her. The words shot through his mind.
It was different to the scenes he had read in books when he finally saw it. When he blinked and it was suddenly so clear to him. His heart didn’t stop, his knees didn’t become weak, he didn’t hear violins around him. No, a ray of sunlight that fell through the window and hit your face, caused you to lift your head. In that moment, your eyes found his. A smile played around your lips as you waved at him and pointed at the seat next to you. And it was so clear to him, that he wanted this all along: to be with you. To come home to you.
You love her, Astoria had said.
And he knew she was right.
***
A/N: How did you like it?? I’m so excited to hear from you!! <33
CHAPTER 20
HP Masterlist
General Masterlist
Tag List: @writerdee1701, @youareinllve, @sjmahoney, @detroitobsessed, @takura-rin, @jadam268, @wynterwind, @renaissance-confiance, @doitforthevine67, @ilovemollyweasley, @flowerpowerpixie, @gold-flowing, @starkssnarks, @bookcornerkins, @harpersmariano, @markedsweetly, @iraniq, @pointlesscoconut, @hvrcruxes, @pillowjj, @idkatee, @magicwithaknife, @graystherapy, @scoote-rankle, @nxstalgicnxbxdy, @sunsetsofanemoia, @tommy-holland, @lordfxxker, @streetfighterrichie, @awaken-the-sirens, @destiels-assbutt13, @pockitparks, @just-addicted-to-bangtan, @cuddlykoala101, @zpandaqueen , @natsiboo, @jjjmaybank, @justmesadgirl, @books-and-tings, @slytherinprincedracom , @katiaw2, @saintkore, @nctnight, @lifestragedy, @obxmxybxnk, @spideydobik , @ladylizzieofdarbyshire, @aspiring-ginger, @dracomalfoyswifey, @jpow345, @realistic-breadstick, @abbs-is-tired, @alwaysbeanunknownfan, @niallsarmveinstho, @is-this-a-febreze-commercial, @acciowilltolive, , @sexytholland, @faangirl101, @donttellany1iusetumbler, @mendesmuffinsss, @lilxnvm, @kill-the-teen-memories, @darkusangelus, @itsbebeyyy, @hesaidimcrazy, @jenniweaslee, @hpxpjo, @brisbubble, @xomaymay, @shitnstuffillregret, @serialkillme, @angel-tears15, @panicattheeverywherekid, @obsssedwithjustaboutanything, @nobleking, @tashii-blr, @ddaeing, @randogirlo-fando-main, @sadgirlnumber92899, @captivateing, @bitchyegirl, @smiithys, @ninipoo1, @intheawks, @nothanksnyla, @calpal-4ever, @dracosathenaeum, @belsandthings, , @kiwi-sloan, @xdmx, @lexi-ravenclawdracomalfoy, @kvyenxay, @live-awkward, @babebenhardy, @bitchysweets-blog, @cravingmusic, @frau-moon, @ohissandhalasta, @broken-but-beautiful-cassie, @lil-black-heart, @vminenthusiastt, @dracos-sluts, @mrmoonyy, @saucysuazo, @fuzzzwald, @matsuno-nadeshiko, @amber-arsenault , @loveableasshole, @spideycures, @echpr, @shiningstar-byulxx, @twinklebug2282, @bloodiedroses, @klthmef, @ostorian , @bi-chai-tea, @maddieisnotok, @amandaluvssupernatural, @makeoutwithstiles, @i-am-addicted-to-tea, @tenclouds, @lovingdracomalfoy, @lannaax, @dr-bitch-bby, @fallinallinmendes, @suckerforparker, @runninglownad, @piercinghorizons, @dosicas, @yanaaaaaaa, @akzer300500 @hoseokslily, @dracofeltonmalfoy, @emilianamason, @tothemoonwithclifford, @gcldreinhart , @angelofthorr, @k-k0129, @musicalmuffindog1410, @andydre4m, @mxl-foyrecs, @seeinorange, @vlgsqd , @justmimithings, @allthevoicesinmyhead, @pipppaaaaalouisee, @yessirrz, @2think2twice2 @spencerreidisbootiful, @find-a-little-faith, @thatguppienamedbae, @emmamarie7708, @dontpanicitsdan @jordaangx, @ceeellewrites, @drxcomvlfx, @7minutes-tomidnight, @coldheartedslytherin, @wingardiumdepressionosa, @perfect-storm95, @danisaur1324, @unlikely-y-bliss, @trentdijklfc66, @saptediavoli, @treestarrrrrrrr, @aangsupremacy @yaanasluv, @megamihatake, @lavenderblossom12, @bimbelle, @beiahadid, @weasleytwinswheezes, @bogikrmn, @gublerslut, @prongsandprancer, @superkawaiicandyfloss , @instantllamaruins
If you want to be added to my tag list, let me know! <3
#draco malfoy x reader#draco malfoy x you#draco malfoy x y/n#draco malfoy#draco malfoy fanfiction#draco malfoy imagine#draco malfoy imagines#draco x reader#draco x you#draco imagine#draco imagines#Draco Malfoy x OC#draco malfoy x gryffindor!reader#Slytherin x Gryffindor#slytherin#gryffindor#slytherin imagines#slytherin imagine#gryffindor imagines#harry potter#harry potter imagines#harry potter fanfiction#hogwarts#hogwarts imagines#choose me instead#astrids fics#draco#malfoy#malfoy imagines
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