#it doesn't make much sense because it's really late and I'm back to my insane ramblings | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shepscapades · 20 days

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Shep. Shep... SHEP....

Oh my god, wonderful thing to wake up to tbh, THIS, THIS PART THIS AAAA AAAAA IT'S SO GREAT

I want to speak about some things here!!!

I can't even see his face but your Xisuma is SO PRETTY, I knew you were going to give him long hair I JUST KNEW IT

love how Doc needs to lean on X to get on his knees because you know HE DOESN'T HAVE HIS OTHER ARM NEEDED FOR BALANCE??

Looks a lot like Etho getting a flashback (left corner) because he's not covered in thirium and also the colouring is different, not sure to what this flashback could refer to, but I'm gussing last life (maybe his final death in last life? Since this situation is also very death-like)

Absolutely LOVE this panel, I really like how in the entirety of this comic the lines that divide panels are always messy/electric/chaotic because that's what's happening in the comic: chaos. But in this panel when Etho connects with Doc, It's peaceful, It's not an agressive action - It's actually the opposite, It's a peaceful, desperate, last cry for help before Doc shuts Etho down

Now that's an interesting panel, I love Etho's talking being wavy, fading in and out, and all over the place - it's probably meant to represent his thoughts and it does a really good job with it! Every one of these sentences sound heartbreaking in context "I'm so scared" especially gets to me, for no reason actually, maybe because I'm surrounded by death lately irl and it just makes me think about those topics more- how terrifying it actually can be when you think about it

There's a lot of scenes in this panel, I noticed they are actually drawn in chronological order, they go from top left corner (Etho opening his eyes for the first time and seeing Doc and X) and go clockwise (to the panel of Bdubs' death in last life and Etho's hands shaking) get it? CLOCKwise because Bdubs really likes clo- *gets shot*

Also just wanted to point how CRAZY it is when you realise that the first thing Etho saw when he was created was Xisuma on his right and Doc standing on his left a little further away, and the last thing he sees before shutting down is almost the same scene but slightly different and more chaotic! That's some crazy detail-

also not that important detail but Doc started saying "Xisuma" in this panel but was cut off on the "Xis" part when he snapped back into his senses and decided to do something instead of just. standing there 🧍‍♂️

SO YEAH I'M SO SORRY RIP TO YOUR INBOX GHGHGHHGHGHJFSJDFS JMGJ THIS IS SO LONG

but uhhh I just needed to get it out it's been like 4 months since the last part so now I'm going feral 👍

There's probably a lot of things I wanted to say that I forgot here sooooooo Idk prepare for more i guess--

Anyways have a nice day Shep you're amazing <3!

RAHHHH thank you so much!!! THIS WAS A DELIGHT TO WAKE UP TO!!! I had too many thoughts so I just kinda doodled and rambled a bit :3 hope this is helpful!! And I absolutely LOVE these breakdowns, y’all are so very welcome to tear stuff apart whenever it’s kinda everything to me >:3 BUT YES IM SO GLAD YOU ARE GOING CRAZY!!! I’m so happy I finally get to share my insanity sfjbdfgkndbn

(Featuring a version of the interfacing page without all of the overlays so you can see everything clearly!)

#dbhc ask #dbhc #dbhc theories #ask #1-marigold-1 #HITTING IT OUT OF THE PARK YET AGAIN MAY #the shepherd #my sona #ARHARUAWURRR I’m fine #I’m so #eheheuheheheheheeee #dbhc doc #dbhc xisuma #dbhc etho #destruction

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luveline · 2 years

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Okay but what about Eddie and reader having been going strong for awhile and Eddie wants to take things further and ask reader to marry him, but he wants to ask Roan’s permission first bc he cares about her opinion.

I thought this was so cute! it's almost entirely eddie and roan but r is mentioned lots and lots and is also a bit long my bad 🥺 ♡ fem!reader

He really wants to get you a ring.

Eddie Munson can be stupid. He makes rash decisions all the time. He bets on the wrong horses and he's almost always late to parent-teacher conferences. He buys Roan's clothes by holding them up to her body in the middle of the store and asking her if she likes them. He knows there's a thousand wrong decisions to make and half of them he's already made, but he really thinks this is the right one.

He just needs Roan to agree.

You're at your own place for once. Not for Eddie's lack of trying — he'd asked you to move in twice already, and though you'd kissed him silly and told him you loved him an insane amount, you'd reasoned that you should keep your place. (Though you had, in a way, moved in anyhow.)

"I don't want us to rush anything, Eddie," you'd said carefully, eyes on Roan's dark head of hair across the room. He'd followed your gaze. "I don't want to be the evil step-mom."

He'd promised that could never, ever happen.

He probably shouldn't have. While Roan literally loves you so much it makes her cry, things can change.

Right now, Roan thinks that she's sharing Eddie, and she's doing a great job at adapting to all the changes that come with that. Your clothes in his room, your coats on the hangers. Your work stuff where her princess ponies used to live, your fancy shampoo next to her jellybean two-in-one. Getting married would make you her bona fide mom. Eddie's not sure Roan realises that she's the one who'd be getting shared.

Though you act like you're her mom already. It's one of the many reasons he loves you. You've never once made Eddie feel bad for being a dad, or for having Roan full time. You genuinely miss her when she's at Wayne's. You love his daughter. You play games and you sing songs and you cuddle her whenever you can. You wash her hair and take care of her curls, you do plaits and bows and bunches. You'd learned how to do all of that stuff without ever having been asked.

Eddie wants to marry you so badly it's a physical ache.

Which is why he's as scared as he is to ask her about it.

"Roan?" he calls, stretched out over the couch with a coke can on his chest. Moping, maybe.

"What?" she calls back, voice littler still because of the distance.

"Are you busy?"

He hears the tap running and then she appears, water dripping down to her wrists. Eddie swaps her for the coke can, rubbing her wet hands dry with the excess fabric of his shirt.

She sits on his stomach. She's incredibly big and small at the same time.

"What, dad?"

"I got something to ask you."

Roan squirms until Eddie brings his legs up to let her lean against his thighs like a chair.

"It's a big question," he says tentatively.

Roan crosses her arms in front of her, hands on his stomach. "Like, big as you?"

"Right. Super big."

She nods thoughtfully before flashing a huge, charming smile. "Okay."

Eddie lifts his hands to her small face, tucking her freshly shorn locks behind her ears. Long hair like daddy had been a good idea in theory, but she just can't stand all the fuss of it.

"I'm asking because... You're five now. And I know you have lots of big feelings. I wanna know what you think about-" He doesn't chicken out, per se, more like opens softly midway through. "Uh, how you feel about Y/N."

Roan wrinkles her nose. "I love her."

"I know you do. And you don't mind that she spends so much time here?"

Again, Roan looks perplexed. How many times has she cried now because she wants to see you and you're busy? How many times has Eddie told her you can't spend all your time here? It probably doesn't make much sense to her that he'd be asking.

"No. I wanted her for my princess party after and you said no."

He grins ruefully. "I didn't say no, babe. She couldn't come because she's at her own house tonight."

"Why can't she be at our house?"

Brilliant question.

"She has stuff to do." Like make sure moths haven't eaten your clothes. And dust.

You don't really spend a lot of time there.

Roan harrumphs. "Whatever. Why can't we go to her house, then?"

He takes Roan's hands into his and toys with her smaller fingers. "I can't really explain it. But you like when she's here all the time?"

"Yeah," Roan says, clearly bored of this conversation.

He laughs under his breath and steels himself for a bunch of huge questions.

"You know I love you more than anybody else?" he asks.

"I love you more," she argues.

"No, like. Out of everybody in the world, I love you the most. I could love Uncle Wayne the most, but I love you the most." Sorry, Wayne.

And while Eddie loves you so much (and Wayne, of course), it's the truth. You're always gonna be that tiny fraction below, though Eddie's not sure he likes the word below. It's a different kind of love, regardless.

Roan seems really, really happy with this prospect. She giggles for a second and throws her arms out toward him, face landing perfectly under his chin.

"I love you, daddy," she says. She manages to sound both shy and exuberant, little face digging into his collar. "I would pick you out of the world too."

"You would?" he asks. Eddie's not too proud to admit he wells up. He laughs it off, wrapping his arms around her as tightly as he can.

"You first. Um, and Uncle Wayne and Y/N and damnation and Stacey P. second most."

"Damnation your imaginary dog is on the same level as Uncle Wayne and Y/N?" he asks, laughing hard enough to shake under her hug.

"Dad!"

"Sorry. Your totally real and invisible dog."

"Well, maybe not as much as Uncle Wayne and Y/N."

"No, I thought so."

She hides her hands inside of his short sleeves. Eddie lets her get on with it, happy and honestly buffeted by her affection. He feels both the euphoria of having a great kid and the self-satifaction of a parenting win.

"Do you think Y/N loves me that much?" Roan asks. "In the world?"

"Yes," he says without hesitation. "Of course she does."

"Mm," Roan hums, pleased. "I miss her."

"If I ask you my really big question, maybe we can go see her afterward. But it's- it's a big question, Roanie, I mean it. And it's okay if you don't know the answer, or if you feel mad or angry first."

Roan looks very concerned, climbing up on his chest to giggle at him. "Ast me, dad."

He blows her hair out of her eyes with a breath from the corner of his mouth. Heart in his throat, he grabs a hold of her waist in one hand and tries.

"I want to ask Y/N to marry me."

She blinks.

"I don't know if she'll say yes, but if she does that means lots of things would change. We would live together, and we'd maybe not live so close to Uncle Wayne, I'm not sure. Do you know what I mean?"

Roan leans forward. "Marry in a wedding?"

"Yeah. A big wedding. Or actually maybe a little one. I haven't really asked. Roan..."

He drifts off, distracted by her lovely tiny face growing more and more excited by the second.

"She would-"

"She would be my mom?" Roan shouts, eyes wide with a blazing amusement. "She would be my mommy?"

"Sweetheart," Eddie says apprehensively, "I'm not sure-"

"Oh my god," Roan says, already climbing off of his chest.

"Roan, I really need to finish talking to you," he says, listening to her sprint away in defeat. He rubs his eyes for a second, stressed, though slowly he starts to smile.

That's a good reaction.

That's a great reaction.

"Roan, if we get married, that means more- It means a lot of things," he calls, struggling to keep the smile out if his voice as he gets onto his feet to track her down.

"Yeah!" Roan calls.

Eddie walks down the hall and finds her in the middle of her room, backpack in the middle of her floor and upheaved. She's crammed three different teddies inside and a mismatched pair of pajamas, and now seems to be deciding between her pens or her long crayons.

"Babe, what are you doing?"

"I'm getting my stuff!"

He bites back a ridiculous smile. "For what?"

"You said we'd ask the question and go see Y/N," she whines, expecting a rejection.

"I didn't ask my question yet."

Roan shoves her crayons into her backpack and stares at him expectantly, a frenzy of ringlets and a palpable excitement.

He feels suddenly sheepish. "So can I... Is that okay? If I ask her to get married?"

Roan starts laughing like a maniac, the smallest, most intense vestibule of joy that's ever existed. "Dad, I need my shoes."

"No, but you can't tell her! It's a secret!" he warns seriously.

"You said we could go!"

He looks down at his girl. She's frenetic, jumping on both feet with her hands bunched into fists like she's willing to fight him for this. She wants to see you so badly now she's practically vibrating.

"Alright. Alright, come on. Let's get your shoes on."

Roan screams and runs past him, almost barrelling him down. He picks up her backpack and zips it closed, standing in the middle of her room for a few private seconds.

"Holy shit," he whispers.

"Dad!"

"I'm coming, Roan," he says, closing the door behind him.

more eddie and roan

#eddie and roan #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x reader fluff #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson #stranger things #stranger things fic #stranger things x reader #stranger things 4 #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson oneshot #stranger things fanfiction #fem!reader

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aarkose · 2 years

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Everyone calls Dream a pathetic petty little baby girl and like, yeah he is - but

And the characters themselves are like Morpheus is cold, unfeeling, harsh, cruel and yeah he can be and he holds intense grudges - but

I haven't really seen anyone talk about the scene where he's facing the Corinthian, who Morpheus admits was his masterpiece. And our favourite nightmare pointedly says that Dream doesn't care about humanity. He only cares about himself, and his realm and his rules.

Morpheus sort of gets exasperated here, like really dude? And tells us he contains the entire collective unconscious, without his rules it would consume him and humanity. Like maybe he's been there before, or close to it. He admitted he lost an entire universe before because he didn't take out their vortex.

His voice trembles on the word consume, like its always there, ready to crush him, like he's constantly battling, like he's tired, like no one's ever really asked, understood or comprehended that before and he's admitting it for maybe the first time or it's one of the very few. And of all the beings he's admitting it to the Corinthian who throws it in his face.

Death more or less says dream mopes and he should get over it. Fiddler's Green insinuates he's almost incapable of apology or empathy. Lucienne believes he dismisses their efforts and that he's harsh with his punishments. Gault in their defiance tries to make him see that things should be capable of change and wanting something different.

No one seems to get the truth of him? Or part of it. Or if they do it's not apparent and it seems a great tragedy to me. When he says the entire collective unconscious, I'm assuming he means entire, as in not just human - as in all life including other species we don't know of, that are otherwise 'alien'. It seems almost unfathomable to me no one stops to think he's the way he is for a reason.

Every single unconscious thought, decision, fear, nightmare, dream, hope - anything and everything that can manifest in dreams from the nonsensical and absurd to disturbing and whimsical, including concepts we don't even understand as humans. That is what Morpheus is made of. The screams dying in throats as people wake from horrors, the reoccurring scenes of falling, being chased, being late, the grief from loved ones dying, flying, school, sex - the ones that don't make any sense.

The nightmares that are so real and strong you can't get back to sleep. The dreams that are so sweet or fantastic you wake up mourning their loss. Day dreams, dreams that pick up where they left off, lucid dreams, depraved and disturbing dreams. The little thoughts we have about others we'd never say out loud or tell another living soul but they exist. It's all real, part of what makes us who we are and every other being that can dream - no wonder Morpheus' voice trembles on the word consume. That has to be near maddening? Like he's riding the line between insanity at any given moment because dreams can be entirely bizarre as much as they can hold significant meaning.

So he mopes? He's distant? He's cruel or uncaring. Unfeeling in how he operates - I feel like I would be too if I contained the concepts of the entirety of existence - everything his siblings govern exists in his realm in the form of dreams. You can dream about desire, death, destruction, delirium, destiny, despair, all of it. He doesn't feel enough? Distant? Ungrateful?

I think he feels too much, way too much and he can only push it down so far, or hold it back just enough. It makes him seem so delicate in my mind, like those who bottle and bottle. Pushing everything down or back just to keep functioning and then one little thing makes them snap. Suddenly you've damned your former lover to ten thousand years in hell because that amount of time and processing doesn't seem unreasonable against the impossibly incomprehensible thing that is existences unconscious. Let's not forget the souls in hell or every other afterlife, if they also dream, the concept of dreams as goals, the act of dreaming, creation and destruction, every nasty little thought, every fucked up thing anyone has ever comprehended and every joy.

Maybe that's why everyone's harsh on him in my eyes, that he should have all this perspective but seemingly doesn't? But he believes what he does because he has that perspective and some things within that spectrum do not change, they repeat because there's only so much that can exist, and that has to be tiresome.

But honestly, the other Endless, dreams and nightmares should realise what he's dealing with? Especially those close to him, or orbiting because no one is ever really close, and if dreams and nightmares can dream then Morpheus should know those too. I'd probs keep everyone away from me if I was a scrambled construct of emotions.

Fuck me up honestly. My tiny human brain is snapping trying to even comprehend the inner workings of Dream. None of this even makes sense. Just let the man rest, give the baby girl some slack. He's got both feet off the edge and no one's got his back. I'm tired now.

TLDR: Dream probably is the way he is because being who he is, is a lot.

#the sandman #lord of dreams #dream of the endless #useless ramblings #the sandman meta #meta #netflix the sandman #the sandman spoilers #the sandman netflix #morpheus #lord morpheus #i'm sorry about this but I had to get it out #for safe keeping #my ramblings #neil gaiman #bunch of bullshit I word vomited for no reason

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scary-lasagna · 2 months

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hello, I don’t really understand your request situation right now so if I’m sending this at the wrong time I’m sorry.

But, I just read your post about Slender’s dark secrets, and I really liked it! So I was wondering if you could talk more about them.

Have a good day!!

I decided to dive into the bit about the...things Slender has done to the earlier residents.

Friends

"Why the Hell would he do that? That's a fucking strong assumption to make, Jeff." An offended tone slapped the walls of the Rec Room, unusually empty besides a proxy and a infamous killer.

Jeff and Toby have never really clicked well. Something about Toby has always managed to rub Jeff the wrong way: his walk, his love of talking too loud, his abrupt tics, and his unkept hair, for a few examples.

Jeff just didn't want anything to do with him. But that didn't mean that he hated the poor bastard. Even so, they had more in common than they thought. Not that Toby knew that.

"I'm just saying, it all makes sense, right?" Jeff faced his palms up with a casual shrug from the beanbag chair, "He killed her. And I'm not just saying that to piss you off or anything. I mean look at what he did to Kate. She's terrified of him."

Althought Toby wasn't entirely close to Kate, it was obvious how much she avoided pissing Slender off, and always happened to be missing whenever things got tense around the manor. Her burns...had he also been the cause of them?

"Just because he may or may not have done something to KAte doesn't mean that he's an evil creature. Why would he kill a random chick in Michigan? Slender wouldn't do something like that-" Toby refused to believe it, not after Slender had took them all into open arms.

Jeff pinched the bridge of his nose before dragging his palm down his face. He crossed his arms as he stared up at the proxy. "Toby, who the fuck do you think cut the breaks in Lyra's car? Who drove Tim's friend to insanity? Jack's culty origin? Fuck, even Jane. She didn't have a violent bone in her body until my incident. I mean, think about it, doesn't it all just lead back to him?"

"It doesn't matter!" Toby didn't flinch at the mention of his sister, but then again he didn't have anything backing up his claim. It made him angry. He knew he was right.

"Then ask him, Toby." Jeff nonchalantly scratched his neck, "And you'll come back not remembering a damn thing like last time." He rolled his eyes toward the brunette. "And the time before that, too."

"You're fucking with me."

"'Fraid not." Jeff tsked and wrestled himself out of the beanbag chair. "Start leaving notes for yourself, Tobs'. That's how I figured everything out."

___

"I'm not quite sure I am comphrehending your accusation, Toby. Do you believe I had something to do with Lyra's passing?" The Tall Man sat at his great oak desk, his spindly fingers clasped together on his desk mat.

"I-It's just sketchy. I mean, my memory is spotty, yeah, but right after I caught The Sickness, she died." Toby adjusted his seat on the leather office chair, scooting to the edge. His leg bounced. His nails were wearing thin from the abuse of nervousness.

"Toby, why on Earth would I do something like that? In no offense, it would be pointless to me to harvest such a small soul. From my recollection, Lyra did not have any great power that would have ade her a sustainable feeding victim." Slender suddenly furrowed his brow line, his head tilting ever so slightly, "You should know this Toby. Are you feeling alright?"

"I've been a little under the weather, I guess. I'm sorry for pointing fingers, everything has just been so confusing lately. I'm loosing track of time, and I can't remember what I did yesterday." Toby ran his hands through his slightly gready hair, and took great effort in slouching into the leather.

"Perhaps it's time for a mental health day. I'll adjust your schedule to fill in Kate for your shift in the next three days." Slender opened one of the larger cabniets in his desk, pulling out one of the many vintage tabloids he used to schedule his proxies. "And if we see no improvement, then we can adjust or change your medicine if needed."

As Slender set the tabloid down, Toby noticed a familiar face peeking out from under one of the many loose papers among the mess of a busy desk.

"Why do you have Brian's folder open?"

Slender paused, craning his head to eye the headshot picture. "I'm simply refreshing my memory of his medical history. No need to wear your heart of your sleeve, Toby." Slender quickly dismissed, waving Toby's concerns away. He seemed a bit more hasty to modify the schedule.

Toby's voice dropped into a gravely tone.

"Are you sure?"

Slender slowly lifted his head to look at Toby, who seemed to be fixed on a leaflet.

Kate. More specififcally, Kate's fresh burns from so many years ago, all photographed and on display. The nights of restless sleep must have finally caught up to Slender, and forgot to tuck them away before allowing Toby to burst in.

"Did Brian do that to Kate?"

"I will now be asking you to leave, Toby, this is a breach of confidential information on Kate's behalf. I'll adjust your schedule. Have a lovely vacation." And even though the words seems so considerate, Slender stood at full height, a tendril slithering around the front of the desk to tuck any pictures under loose papers. "Leave."

Maybe Jeff was right.

Toby stood quickly, and pivoted on he heels to walk out of the room. But something stopped him. An unforeseen force keeping his body in place.

"Absterge rasa, a medietate prius. Mote fiat."

Toby turned, his brows furrowed in confusion. "Y'know, your German sometimes sounds really weird!" He laughed, "Anyway, I gotta drop that paper off to Jeff, you said he's in the Rec Room, right?"

#LOVED writing this #very cool #ticci toby #jeff the killer #slender #slender is a bad guy #creepypasta #creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta imagines #creepypasta blog #toby rogers #toby #jeff

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izpira-se-zlato · 2 months

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Munich, 26.03.24

Gig report! Can’t believe this tour is almost over :o In true Joler Ot fashion I am writing this while our train is losing a broken carriage so we're picking up delays. Fun.

The queue was. Insane. I just. Boggle at how we went from the chill Berlin and Hamburg and Leipzig queues to this.

The actual queueing was pretty chill regardless, thankfully

There was a whole-ass. Like. Tumblr meetup? Not like, planned, but I met (at various points) @occhi-verdi-come-il-mare, @nyx-aira, @itskrejsaitsparty, @j-restlessgeek, @lovvecherrymotion, @thisismyobsessionnow, @zadig-fate, @mogoce-nocoj and probably more because my brain is a sieve. So wild to just meet these people irl, you know?

My place in the queue was right in front of the person who sold Kris and me our EA tickets, which I thought was super funny

Kris was technically way further ahead of me but traded her place with a teenager whose only gig on this tour was this one and who was super bummed by someone cutting in line in front of them, and instead joined me further back and jfc we had so, so much fun. So glad I didn't have to be all alone. Gigs are more fun with friends, as it turns out (who woulda thunk)

I got a lot of short messages for my gig memory book 😊

I'm actually out of I 💛 Hojan and medium Hojan stickers. And I think tall Hojan stickers? So there's an end in sight 😂

super late gig start (EA doors was at 19:00)

The Munich venue is tiny and so Kris and I were… 7th or 8th row Jance side. I saw pretty well for the soundcheck, but after general doors a tall girl with two friends pushed her way in front of us (cutting in from the side) and severely limited my view… until a queue friend asked if we wanted to swap places bc she's taller and also wanted to be next to her friend (who was another tall person in front of us). So Kris and I went on Jan-side kinda in front of the speakers and it was a really great view 😊(thank you again)

We got NGVOT (no Kris version) and Vem da greš for soundcheck

Jance played each others' instruments (again). Well. I think Jan played Nace's bass while Nace either touched the dials or the tremolo. I hate them

there was also another Jance moment that got such a homophobojan from Kris I had to laugh. I think Jance were playing their instruments at each other at that moment? Kris was just "jfc guys" from his expression

Sector 5 were so, so good from our spot. Finally heard the lyrics again (I heard only the drums and maybe a bit of the guitar in Cologne). Sound-wise, our spot was excellent ngl.

I'll definitely miss them. If they have a concert in Berlin I can swing (or come by where I live), I'll definitely go. But yeah, I really grew to like them! (also they're babies. like. 21. They all studied music in Berlin, which is where they met. And the guitarist used to do parcour for several years which is why he did a backflip on stage each show)

they were definitely adopted into the family with glasses given to them (they kept falling off Mika's face so the guitarist, Johann, put them on and looked slej) and people singing along and just. The vibes were great. You could also definitely tell they'd settled into the stage compared to Berlin (which was their first gig for JO)

JC Stewart 🥰

I really grew to like his set, if he ever comes near where I live, I'll go for sure

I still don't understand the timeline of the boys meeting JC tho. It doesn't make sense. According to JC, Conor introduced them at the end of last year, but I'm pretty sure they didn't have time to be in the UK. At least not all five of them

Kris and I attempted to speak JC's jokes at the same time as him. It worked worryingly well

Actual gig was Katrina opener

Jan in only a leather jacket, worn open?? Maybe Bojan was right and they did run out of shirts xD boys have you heard of the concept of a laundry machine?

Nace in a simple white shirt, tucked into his pants. Jfc. Truly starting to be Nace girlie (gn) period

Kris wore a half collar underneath a sweater vest which was a look. What kind of look? I'm still not sure, if I'm honest

Jure in the sleeveless jeans vest and otherwise topless. I caught glimpses of him and hnnng

Bojan was also there ig

well. There was a small girl in the audience (on her mom's shoulders) of around. 7 or 8 years? So we got a whole lot of heart-eyes-Bojan

the girl sang UM and Bojan pulled her onto the stage (no Bojan in the audience bc of the speakers)

no idea how long UM lasted bc I put stuff on Instagram in the meantime

we got Barve 😭 I screamed so much and was so happy and gaaaah. I love this song so so much. And of course Bojan did the Ju-re Ma-ček! (and so did the audience)

we got Schlager 😭 Bluza my beloved where are you

tho tbf they look so fucking happy playing that song

Nace almost went to his knees in front of Jan twice (at least)

they also did that "leaning against each other"-thing again

I didn't film a lot bc I was too busy vibing, though I did take a bunch of pictures

Fairy!Bojan. Or as @itskreisjaitsparty put it on tumblr: Prinzessing Lilifee at home

People threw stuff on stage like a crown with a veil attached and sparkly glasses and so Bojan went, "Kris, you have to put on everything they've thrown at you!" and Kris did

Nace got heart-shaped glasses with rainbow studding and tried to show Jan immediately but Jan was busy 😂

The atmosphere of the gig was really, really good

The girls next to us started bawling during Barve iirc and just. Didn't stop. The cute security guard near us (who I think recognised me from the December Strom gig) shared amused glances with me bc the girls were kinda adorable. At least that's how I chose to interpret their expression

someone fainted ahead of us. Though not badly enough to be removed, just sat down for a while while the security guard stood, well, guard and had the girl drink something

It was actually so freeing not to be not in the very front but off to the side. We had space to dance and make snarky/funny comments at each other and just laugh

I got a Vita wave! She was shooting from behind the merch table, which was up two stairs from where I was, and so I kept glancing back, and just before she made her way into the crowd to shoot from there, she waved at me :D

They got food (Trolli gummi bears 😂) and Nace fed Kris two of them. I didn't catch the moment on video but it was so cute

After the gig, we talked a bunch to the Sector 5 guys. They're kinda adorable

JO left immediately without even saying goodbye to the Sector 5 guys. Guess Bojan wasn't the only one out late last night (it was a bit disappointing because Munich didn't get them last time, either)

we still stayed and talked to each other a whole bunch well after it was clear JO had left -- chatted with Mika (Sector 5 singer) a bit more, and then just the tumblr girlies

as we turned to leave for Astrid's hotel room (just like last time) well after the band had left (just like last time), I said, "well, at least this time they won't have reason to tag me on IG" (unlike last time), only to open my phone to a tag from Jan bc he restoried my pic😂 collecting yet more twinning moments from Jance ig

#jan peteh #nace jordan #kris gustin #joker out #bojan cvjeticanin #jure macek #jure maček #kris guštin #bojan cvjetićanin #gig report #Somewhat delayed bc I didn't finish it yesterday on the train oops

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ingravinoveritas · 6 months

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Have you seen AL's latest insta story? sure, it would even be cute... if she didn't set a trend of subtly (not so subtly) commenting on his looks.

also idk if you hadn't seen this one from November 16th:

(yes it looks like his handwriting) random thoughts:

"I think he likes me" tee-hee? Much need for validation?

gurl, going without a phone for a week? seriously? how? why?

... How did you even post, if you're phoneless? or did you wait to have one, to stage this pic?

maybe it's me, but sharing such an intimate note seems *just a bit* in bad taste.

Am I being too petty? Maybe. Whatever.

(Finally getting around to answering more Asks, so thank you all for being so patient!) @artificial-indulgence No, I don't think you are being petty at all. I'm really very tired of Anna's posts as of late, and all of the above is certainly no exception.

I think it's worth noting that she posted that picture with Bernard (and all of the pictures from her Insta story) in a separate post, because apparently she didn't get enough attention, and the picture of Michael and David was dead last in the post. Which seems fitting, given that the caption on the post was a "A weekend of vanity and insanity" and the first few pictures were of her, suggesting that she was using the picture of Michael and David to get more traction for her own pictures.

This ties into your comment, @longingtolinger-blog, because she did indeed post that story calling herself a "vain twat" just earlier in the same day as the story with the pic of Michael and David:

And I had the same thought, that it seemed as if she was trying to be self-deprecating, but it just...didn't land? It came across as awkward, mostly because vanity/being vain isn't really something to brag about. Do we all have moments of being vain? Of course. But Anna seems to be making it part of her personality, and it's just...not cute. Also, in the same way as Michael calling David his lover, you generally don't refer to yourself as a "vain twat" if you don't want people to think that you're a vain twat.

That said, I did see AL's Insta story from the 16th, and nearly three weeks later, it still doesn't make sense. As you said, how did she post this without a phone? Or, as we could infer, does this mean she got that note sometime earlier in the week, and waited at least several days just to stage this picture? Also, with two little kids around, how does it make sense for her to not even have a backup phone? We could certainly assume that she did, but the story above would suggest otherwise, since Michael had to email her (which is, for the record, about the least romantic correspondence imaginable). Let's also remember that on the 16th, Michael was still in the middle of being virulently attacked on Twitter after the events of October 30th, and Anna had plenty of opportunities to defend him. To say something like, "Michael's a great guy, he does a lot of charity work, he doesn't deserve to be attacked like this." Instead, it was all about her and what she gets from him. In fact, the week prior to the 16th, she posted another Insta story of flowers that he supposedly sent her, with that song "My Love Mine All Mine" in the story, thereby doubling down on bragging about him getting her things while saying nothing about him as an actual person.

Going back to the first story above, we know that Michael has previously been affectionately compared to the Tennants' dog Bernard (and David to their other dog, Myrtle). But as you said, given AL's history of making snarky comments about Michael's appearance, it feels a lot less affectionate and a lot more unkind coming from her. What surprised me about her Insta story the most, however, was how not surprising it was, as that story is actually not the first time Anna has "joked" about leaving Michael. And given that that seems to be an enjoyed pastime of hers, it almost seems like they would both be happier and better off if she actually did leave him.

It somehow becomes worse when we see this exchange, which took place on Twitter yesterday:

(Maybe she should get a refund, since she seems pretty unsatisfied with what she's got...)

Again, I would have no problem saying that this was just teasing or ribbing or whatever if it weren't for literally everything else in this post, plus what I've also talked about on my blog previously. But complaining about Michael like this publicly makes her come across as so damn rude and ungrateful. Contrast this with David "complaining" about Michael and it only makes the difference even more stark: That with David, there's a mutual respect and affection and reciprocation, which we do not at all ever see Michael do with her. And I can't help but think that if their relationship is as great as she would like everyone to believe, she wouldn't be on Twitter going back and forth with fans just to get that validation, as you mentioned.

Those are pretty much my thoughts on AL's posts/stories from the last month. It's interesting to me that more people seem to be noticing the weirdness of all this, and I appreciate both of you writing in. And as always, glad to hear from my followers about what you all think...

#artificial-indulgence #longingtolinger-blog #reply post #michael sheen #welsh seduction machine #i can't #how many times does AL need to 'joke' about leaving Michael before it isn't a joke anymore #i'm genuinely curious #but what's the old saying: when someone shows you who they are believe them the first time #the more i think about it the weirder this all seems #again if this was a one time thing i wouldn't even say anything #but i will leave it to my followers to make up their own minds #anna lundberg #relationships #thoughts #discourse

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xxgothchatonxx · 2 years

Note

"they brought back what makes Dracula so terrifying as a villain, especially to women" my dude I need to HEAR this essay PLEASE

Yeah I really should have said "particularly to women" because the general theme is applicable to anyone of any gender but in this film, it's about women- this is why I shouldn't write reviews late at night, bloody hell.

(edit) I feel I should clarify something - please do not watch The Invitation thinking that it’s going to be an A24-style Serious Horror Flick. While it’s got some serious themes included in the story, it is still very much a love-letter to old relatively-campy gothic horror vampire flicks. I had a ton of fun watching this film, but I also picked up on the thematic elements, too.

Anyway - I'm going to be vague here because I don't want to spoil things but here it goes (and this is a combo of my opinions and what the director/writer has said about her intentions)

The way I see it, The Invitation is based around the interpretation that Dracula is a symbol of rich, powerful older generations preying on, controlling and wanting to destroy younger generations. In this case, preying on, controlling and wanting to destroy women. It also explores how that level of power corrupts others and drives people (particularly rich, powerful people) to do insanely immoral acts, just for the sake of approval from their higher-ups. And just how far back this kind of evil goes.

It also explores how women from different eras and class backgrounds react when having their choices taken away from them. Some are power-hungry and are more than happy to sacrifice their choices for the sake of a higher position and don't give a shit about when it happens to women in lower classes, while others are struggling to find the courage to stand up for themselves so they accept that this is the right way for them to live and try desperately to find the positives in this.

But then there's Evie, the main character. She is modern woman from a working class background who is looked down on by her rich clients at her job where she works as a catering server, and can't stand it when she sees workers being mistreated by their bosses. So she's brought into this grand, elegant world filled with luxury and is swept off her feet by the lord of the manor. But then she realises that the price she must pay in return is the loss of control over her life. To basically become a prisoner and slave to her master/husband's whim... yeah, not-spoiler-alert-cos-its-in-the-trailer, she doesn't take that lying down.

So, to summarise - it's all about breaking this centuries-old cycle of violence against women and dismantling a system that thrives off the oppression of women.

Very topical film, wouldn't you agree?

But yeah, in conclusion - I fucking loved this film. These themes are present throughout and made even clearer as the film goes on. I highly recommend checking it out (it seems to be divisive so it might not be good to you but that’s ok if that’s the case - this is just my opinion) and I hope my vague ramblings make sense 😂

#myst is me #the invitation #dracula daily #dracula

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toastywatchesstevenuniverse · 11 months

Text

S1 E43

Maximum Capacity

Okay so this entire episode just made me feel like....uncomfortable? Like the entire time I just kept feeling so off. Like my brain was going "okay this is way too weird, why do I feel like there's gonna be some horrifying plot twist?"

Then it fucking happened & I felt like a psychic. Like holy shit it wasn't just me, this episode was purposely uncomfortable on purpose & idk how the fuck they did that but WOW the entire episode made me feel so uneasy & it was legit for a reason.

Also ngl Amethyst....kinda just super fucked up to do that- Like I haven't LOVED Greg as a character so far (he's there but I mean him lying about his leg, good intentions or not, was a pretty shitty move & also he's just kinda not that great of a dad but I also understand that's literally the point so I'm not gonna just toss aside his character because I'm assuming he's supposed to get better as the show goes on. For now: I just kinda feel nothing strong towards him character wise), but oh my God this episode just made me feel so bad for the guy. Holy shit like this dude just misses his wife. Fuck. I'm surprised how much he kept his cool here. Like he didn't blow up at Amethyst or anything he was like super quick to forgive her despite the fact that he kinda would have been super justified in being upset for this. But I like that this was how it was done. No scene of them fighting or yelling, Amethyst just chooses to do something to make up for it without Greg having to lecture her. In that regard: it actually made her seem way more sincere. Like she had to make that choice via her own genuine remorse. I'm wording this badly I think but like I think that it made her seem like she really was trying to attone for it & that she really did regret what she did.

And honeslty after On The Run? With the knowledge that, knowing how severely fucked up Amethyst is mental health wise, yeah her lashing out at people like this? And saying/doing extremely shitty things because she's upset & she doesn't have the capacity to hold herself back & only realizes how badly she fucked up until its too late? Yeah as someone who has that kinda mental health shit as I said in my post about that episode?....yeah, that's pretty accurate tbh. In my experience that's something I can confirm does happen. So yeah it actually makes sense why she did something so extreme out of fucking nowhere.

I have said a lot of really regrettable shit to people that I'm friends with (Sometimes idk how I'm still friends with them after bc I still feel bad about it yet they seem to insist I'm forgiven) during times where I was really fucking upset. And it's only until RIGHT after it happens that I fully go "oh shit that was a really bad thing to say & I made the situation significantly worse" Yet just like irl, they forgive. *cries*

Really well done character focused episode. They did fucking stellar character writing here.

OH WHAT YOU THOUGHT I WASNT GONNA GO INSANE GOBLIN MODE ABOUT PEARL????? TOO BAD PEARL TIME

OH MY GOD SHES IN A SWEATER AND SHES DOING HER BEST YES PEARL YOUR VOLUME IS PERFECT YOURE DOING AMAZING AAAAAAAA SHES SO CUTE AND HUGGABLE LOOK AT HER SHES THE CHARACTER OF ALL TIME !!!!!!

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causesciencethatswhy · 4 months

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I was talking to my best friend ab the whole Jkk MS situation and we came to the conclusion that, although we can't be sure of the nature of their relationship, these two are more committed to each other than many official couples we know. Like, if it proved tomorrow that they aren't/were never a thing, I would seriously question my sanity.

I'm just thinking how, OF COURSE, I'd rather enlist with any of my best friends too rather than go through the process alone but the implications of the entire buddy system seem so much.. more to me. Applying 3 months prior, choosing the hardest divisions so you have more chance to be together, knowing the consequences if you both fail, being certain that you won't get sick of eo for being together 24/7. And just when I was thinking how most people appreciate their 'me time' throughout the day, especially after spending so much time with somebody else, even if it's one of your closest people - boom, these two bitches choose to apply for the same brigade as well. This shows how confident they are in their bond, how they'd rather spend every waking moment together than spend time apart, and that's something that doesn't apply to friends or even most couples. And if they by chance end up with other people in the future, I don't think it will ever measure with what these two men have with each other. But PLS JIKOOK JUST TELL US WHAT YOU ARE, IM SERIOUSLY SO INVESTED i love them sm

Hi hi, sorry for the super late reply, I really loved your ask but my adhd kicked in and I kept pushing off answering cause I wanted to answer right.

But you and your best friend are onto something because honestly the amount of time that jikook have committed to each other by enlisting together is insane. At first I was sceptical how spending too much time together might potentially affect them too but I recently went on a trip with my family and had to spend almost a whole week with my sister and her boyfriend who stuck to each other like glue and were as silly and hopelessly in love as they were 6 years ago when they first started dating each other. These two spend a lot of time together but they still don't mind getting to spend even more time together because that's their person, and it's not about being constantly upto some romantic shenanigans with that person but just the comfort of their presence right by your side.

I'm sure jikook still get their little 'me times' despite the buddy system because if there’s anything these two are good at, it's respecting each other's boundaries and wishes but I also don't think they will (fingers crossed) have any problems with spending such an exorbitant amount of time together because another thing these two have shown us is just how much they prefer each other's company.

Jikooks relationship truly can't just be limited to friends or boyfriends most days because they find themselves in such a unique position due to the nature of their fame and the obvious homophobic social structures around them. But I do think they've carved themselves a corner in this space that is just their's and their's to be witness too, regardless of what may happen in the future, does that make sense?

Anyways, I love them a whole lot and hope they stay healthy and happy till they come back to us.

#jikook

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hillbillyoracle · 11 months

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"Feel Your Feelings" Might Be Bad Advice

Something I've been thinking about a lot lately is the advice to "feel your feelings."

When I was in my BSW program, one of the things I consistently got flagged for was not having enough warm regard (which, fair hit) and not validating feelings enough. Which was odd because when I wrote out my transcripts of those sessions I see I'd done it multiple times using almost exact scripts from our lessons. But when I looked at people who weren't getting that feedback - they were validating almost every other line.

Which felt and still does feel insane to me personally.

An aspect I think gets overlooked when people give that advice, when programs train folks up in that advice, is that "feel your feelings" was radical for its time and place. The dominant culture of the first part of the last century was one of deep repression.

I personally question whether it's always the right advice in today's culture, where individual validation is dosed to us several times a day by technology companies largely in one valley. So much cultural discourse revolves about validation and who's valid and who's not. The places we spend large swathes of time are hyper optimized to produce and reward explosive emotion. And did you ever even have the emotion if it didn't make it online?

"Feel your feelings" was so helpful precisely because it went against the prevailing cultural climate. What if the advice we need today is "put your feelings to the side"?

"But Marz!" you say, aghast, "That's horrible to tell some to bottle their feelings up!"

I mean I'm not advocating for that either. I think there's just a fundamental misunderstanding of how feelings work that's been reinforced by our narratives of therapy and how our social platforms are structured. It creates the dichotomy of "let it all out" or "bottle it up".

Phenomenological discussion of feelings first, then the helpful metaphor.

Something that you can wind up learning through consistent and appropriate kinds of meditation is that what you consider "you" is actually based on two fundamental factors - perception and recollection. But when you observe them both in action at the same time, you see it's never possible for them to be totally in sync. It's impossible to perfectly recollect the moment that you're presently perceiving. There's always this slight gap. A skip.

You perceive a feeling arise it and then you recollect it. If you perceive an emotion but never recollect it, it does not arise to the level of sense of self. If you don't perceive a feeling, you can't recollect it and the same is true.

What you'll note is that I don't say that the feeling stops existing, just that if either part is missing, you cannot experience that emotion. They're not one in the same.

The misconception I see all the time is that if I turn my perception and recollection to something other than this feeling - then it doesn't exist. I've ended the feeling. Which means people either think they've dealt with the feeling by not perceiving it or that people are loath to stop perceiving it for fear that will equal repression.

To both groups I think it's important to hear that that feeling is a real thing that persists without your input. Emotions are an aspect of the mind - not of your consciousness. Which might be too in the weeds to get into here but just know you are not your feeling and you not perceiving that feeling does not mean the death of you in any way that matters.

Okay the metaphor.

A program starts up on your computer. You get a little window that pops up. This really isn't the time for it so you minimize it so you can come back to it later. But what's this? You left it for a while and the program shut all the way down - no more window. Then other times you leave the window for weeks only to find it's been there in the background the whole time.

That's a feeling.

You can choose to minimize it and come back to it later. By minimizing, I mean focusing your perception and recollection on something other than that emotion. That process isn't as easy as it is on a computer but with practice it can get much easier to accomplish than you might think.

Sometimes you'll come back later and the emotion is gone. Sometimes you'll come back years later and the emotion is still there. That's just how a brain do.

So why minimize it? For the same reason you would a window of a program - it's not useful to you right now, it's getting in the way, you're not a place where it's socially appropriate to explore that program - I mean really take your pick. It is a useful skill.

The mistake older generations made was that minimizing the window meant they'd closed it and it chewed up memory and overworked hardware in the background over time. The mistake I'm seeing today is people trying to run all the programs on the highest settings thinking anything less than that is to lose some fundamental aspect of the program on hardware that was not built for that usage.

Most ways to properly x out of that window usually requires some space and time to process what's in that window. Being able to minimize that so you can do that in a way that honors that feeling and doesn't crash your system is pretty key.

How do you x out of the window? There's lots of ways honestly. You sit and observe the feeling, noticing how it changes in intensity and sensation until it's no longer perceptible even with effort. You can see what an emotion has to say, what it believes, and decide what of that you want to listen to and take on. For intensely negative emotions, they're delusion is always in the mix so finding that root delusion and dispelling it often leads to the intensity lessening at the very least.

I just wonder if that kind of advice isn't more radical in a world where delayed gratification is getting rarer and rarer, where our ability to self validate gets atrophied by constant exposure to external metrics.

Put your feelings to the side and process them when and where you can do that better.

Neither constant repression or constant validation will ever lead to emotional resilience. All that's good is in the grey.

Anyways, I hope this is helpful or gives you something interesting to think about. I'm mostly just hope that by writing this it won't be ping ponging around my brain as much lol.

#feelings #mental health #self help

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problemswithbooks · 2 months

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BNHA Ch. 419

Haven't had much to say about the chapters lately. I didn't really find the fight between Shigaraki and Izuku very exciting and was checking up on leaks just to see if the ending had dropped yet.

But I was actually really excited to see this new development in 419.

I always suspected and hoped AfO gave Tenko decay and manipulated the situation so he wasn't saved. Now, we don't know if AfO orchestrated Tenko not being saved by a Hero during his trauma walk, but it was would be a little weird if he didn't after it's been revealed he had a hand in almost every aspect of Tenko's life.

I know a lot of fans are bumped by this choice or think it ruins his character, but personally it fixes a lot of my issues with how Shigaraki has been portrayed.

The main thing (as long as AfO did mess with Tenko being saved) is that it fixes the huge world building mistake that Tenko's backstory relies on. Now, I'm not a huge fan of the ridiculousness of Touya's backstory either, where this young teen in hospital clothes runs around a rich neighborhood, but that's not the core of his identity as a villain either. The thing that mattered was that Enji was still training Shoto so Touya thought his death didn't change anything.

Tenko's origin just straight up does not make sense with everything else we've been shown about this world. By the time Tenko was born Heroes were everywhere and beloved. We've never been shown anywhere else in the story that Heroes wouldn't help a child wandering around bloody on the streets actively asking for help. Even with civilians, claiming they rely to much on Heroes doesn't fix this because why wouldn't one of the thousands he walked by go get a Hero. I mean people report stuff all the time, and it'd give them an excuse to interact with what their society deems a celebrity.

It also makes AfO look stupid. Tenko is his golden ticket--he's putting all this effort into him, he's the only person he wants/can use for his goals. Why risk a Hero or caring civilain helping him? It would ruin his entire plan if anyone even showed a small kindness to Tenko. For someone who claims to plan everything, that's taking way to many chances.

I know the people that hated this reveal think it kneecaps the message of 'Hero Society bad', but I don't necessarily think the story was ever really trying to say that. It has issues and needs some fixing, but it's not what Shigaraki wanted--he wanted total destruction. It also explains why a bunch of stuff Shigaraki said didn't make sense with what we've been shown. He thinks the things he does because he's been lied to or set up in a way where that's the only conclusion he could come to.

And it's not as if all of Tenko's pain/suffering being caused by AfO makes BNHA society perfect. Spinner still faced racist discrimination, Toga's Quirk made her feel ostracized, Dabi was neglected and abused by his father who was a Hero, Twice is the poster child of the 'one bad day' motto. Shigaraki's origin is villainy itself and with AfO's own origin, a good argument of why Heroes exist. Now the entire core characters of the League have differeing backstories instead of Shigaraki just being a combo of them all, with some AfO manipulation sprinkled in.

It makes him a better foil for Izuku as well, since just like Izuku is often referred to as an empty puppet, Tenko could be viewed this way too. This is something Izuku can connect and help Tenko with when he comes back (because it'd be insane if he was just dead now). The one thing Shigaraki does have is a Heroic heart. Yes, AfO might have set some things up to get him to be that way, but you can't force someone to be altruistic or caring of others. Tenko cares about outcasts and his friends--that's still a part of him, even if it was nurtured by AfO for nefarious purposes.

So, yeah, that's my thoughts on 419. Actually sort of excited to see what happens next.

#bnha 419 #bnha spoilers #bnha #mha #bnha manga

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shenrickyz · 10 months

Text

— (つ﹏⊂) we do care about you

"jaewon!"

"ah shit—" the boy cuts himself off, seeing a giggling sung hanbin before him, the older boy ruffles his hair, and he blinks away his tiredness, only feeling his eyes get heavier. "hanbin, don't scare me like that" he grits his teeth, but hanbin simply smiles, rolling over into his bed.

"happy birthday" hanbin exclaims, whispering because taerae was still snoring in the bed beside them, after all, it was pretty late. jaewon's face falters for a moment, like he has no idea what hanbin's talking about. "what? why do you look so surprised?"

"it's the middle of the night, it's not even my birthday yet.."

"actually it's.." hanbin pauses, grabbing his phone from the bedside table and turning it on; "twelve ten am, so it's your birthday now babe".

the younger 01 liner stares at the leader of zerobaseone, who just smiles once again. "look at you, your twenty two now!" hanbin teases, pinching his cheeks which makes jaewon swat his hands away.

"don't touch my face sung hanbin".

"but your so cute".

jaewon scoffs, raising an eyebrow. "yeah no, let me sleep" he states, rolling over and planting himself face first into his pillow. hanbin lightly punches him in the back, making jaewon sway his hand away once again. "stop that".

"jaewon.."

"hanbin, let me sleep".

to be fair, jaewon isn't used to this at all. usually, he never celebrates his birthday, because no one cared enough about his birthday for him to think it's an important day to celebrate. the attention was never always truly on him, even on his own birthday, he usually never got gifts, or cake, or had anyone sing to him or anything.

after the first few years of being ignored and neglected, jaewon just got used to not celebrating his birthday. in an almost depressing way, he just didn't expect anything from anyone on his birthday anymore, because why would he? he was never that important before, why was his birthday suddenly an important day?

whenever he'd tell other people that, they'd look at him like he'd just said something insane, because what do you mean you don't like celebrating your birthday? that sounds idiotic.

so, hanbin waking him up at midnight just so he could be the first one to tell him happy birthday, it surprised him. he was never used to that kind of commitment, and it made him kind of sad.. because it had been so long since someone had done that for him.

it was depressing to say the least.

when jaewon woke up in the morning, he was disassociated. jaewon listens to people talk, but can't really hear what they're saying, he zones out as he stares at the marble of the kitchen counter. he can't remember how many times one of his members snapped him out of his daze.

during his birthday live, jaewon couldn't really focus, even though he should've been focusing. focusing on the music, the cake that wasn't even his favorite flavor, the gifts he received from his members, but the only thing running through his mind were those depressing thoughts he could never truly oppress. he feels horrible, ungrateful, like he doesn't deserve anything he's getting.

it's not like he's been told anything else growing up, it's not like his birthday was ever framed as an important day. jaewon felt like they were all doing too much for him, did he really even deserve this much? he felt horrible knowing his members were spending their money to get him gifts, but he never found the heart to refuse them.

"hyung!" gyuvin exclaims, slinging an arm around jaewon's shoulder. "did you like your gifts?" he excitedly asks, jaewon gives him a small smile, though those thoughts continue to bother him. "did you like your gifts? mine was the best right?"

jaewon simply laughs, his leg lightly twitching. "all the gifts were nice, especially hanbin's, i'm.. glad, i liked all the gifts".

jaewon's words piece together in a random way, and he doesn't really know if they make sense, because it doesn't seem like they do. "are you okay, hyung?" taerae inquires, noticing how jaewon was just staring into nothing.

"yeah i'm fine, just thinking" jaewon states, his mind clouds with thoughts that make it hard to keep his words in check. "just.. thinking" he mutters, and taerae bites his inner cheek, the silence from jaewon worries him, he just wants to make sure he's okay.

"take it easy today, okay hyung?"

jaewon smiles.

yet the words seem to go straight through him.

jaewon takes walks all the time. usually they clear his mind, and his mind is full of not so good thoughts. thoughts that he isn't enough, thoughts that he doesn't deserve anything great, what's so important about him anyway? his members deserve someone better, someone who doesn’t fuck up all the time.

jaewon considers simply walking around the dorm so he can spare time, he doesn't want to go back early, but his feet drag him back to the front door, and suddenly he's walking into the dorm once again, only after a fifteen minute walk.

the lights are off and jaewon sighs. he knows that no one else is asleep, and he feels around, looking for the light switch. when he does finally find the light switch and turns on the light, he's met with a.. surprise.

"surprise!"

jaewon is taken aback. he's met with the smiling faces of his members, gyuvin holds a cake towards him, five candles lit on top of it, smiling widely as he stares at him. jaewon blinks, any words he wants to say now jumbled in his mind, he can't process what's going on right now.

"happy birthday hyung!" matthew shouts happily, and the rest of the members follow suit, jaewon still standing there, confused out of his mind. "blow out your candles" gyuvin mouths, nudging the cake closer to him.

jaewon pauses, but he obeys, blowing out the five candles on top of the red velvet cake. "why did you guys..?"

"you weren't having a good day" gunwook says. "it was clear you were feeling bad, the cake in the live wasn't even your favorite flavor, and, we wanted you to have a good birthday!"

"so hanbin hyung devised a plan for us to surprise you after your walk!" gyuvin adds.

"and jiwoong hyung baked the cake" ricky finalizes.

jaewon stares at his members, the words striking him in a way that he can't even describe. the gesture is so simple, yet he can't believe how thoughtful it is. in all of his years of living, he's never really had someone do something like this for him. it's just so genuine, and sweet, that he couldn't help but feel emotional.

against his own will, jaewon began tearing up, much to the members surprise. some or them gasp, and some of them giggle. "aww jaewonie don't cry!" he hears zhang hao exclaim, and hanbin's arms wrap around him, his hand running up and down his back to soothe him.

jaewon hates crying in front of people, but it's hard not to cry in a moment like this, the tears stream down his face quickly. "you guys are so.. gosh".

"it's okay babe" hanbin pats his back, and jaewon sniffles, wiping his tears with his sleeve. he takes a deep breath and sighs, still trying to control the tears that dare to stream down his face. "just enjoy your birthday".

and for once in his life, jung jaewon felt important on his birthday.

#ᵎ ִֶָ𓂃 jung jaewon #zerobaseone #zb1 #male oc #original characters #kpop oc #zerobaseone imagines #zerobaseone scenarios

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subaerial-dweller · 6 months

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aaaAAA I'm on a roll now, I'm just spitting whatever comes into my mind about Generation Loss onto the table now. I love this show very much and I no longer care if people see these posts, I have too many thoughts and I'm writing them down :DD.

PART THREE: FRANK AND CHARACTER ORIGINS

I don't think Frank is a skeleton. We know he's a dude, right? There was that screenshot someone took of Frank's poster in Episode 3, let me see if I can find it.

Here we are. In my search for this screenshot, I did come across a lot of posts that said very similar things to what I was going to say, which was that Frank might just be a rotting corpse they drag around with them, which is really quite insane. I said in my first post of this late-night frenzy of Genloss thinking that I'm not very good at drawing, and in 45 minutes that hasn't actually changed. But I have a very graphic view in my head, and it makes the point where Jerma fucken smacks Frank across the face and breaks his fucking neck or something, it makes it all a lot harder to stomach. It's a gruesome thing, and now I'm just worried about how exactly Frank died.

Sneeg likes him, so maybe he was once the main character, where GL!Ranboo is now? It would make sense, because he's in that cage thing with Sneeg, so they might've just both failed together, but Frank was never going to go beyond the first episode without dying.

OH SPEAKING OF THAT. This is where the "and character origins" part of the post comes from.

I want to talk about where the other characters came from. We see a bunch of them, and they all allude to being in this game for a while before we see this iteration with GL!Ranboo in the main role, but I also have other ideas.

OPTION ONE: they're all, strictly speaking, actors, and Ranboo's the one running through this completely blind. They all know their roles, they understand what they have to do to get the story moving along (Sneeg tackles Austin to get Ranboo through the moving cutout wall thing, for example), and they play those roles. That would explain why Charlie's in every episode: he's the Slime Demon, then he's Surfer Dude/Patient Slime, and then he's Charlie Slimecicle the Streamer. He's a recurring talent (maybe I'll write another thing about where I think GL!Charlie came from, when speaking about option one). They're all mind controlled like Ranboo is, with the same filter layered over reality (except on Austin, I think his malfunctioned which is why he looked so horrified in the clothes room with Ethan, and on the merry-go-round next to rotting corpse!Frank, and Sneeg when he was wearing the hat). They're briefed on their roles, and they follow them, but their main goal is to keep the story moving and get Ranboo to the end. Once again, I think GL!Austin's filter thingy doesn't really work, because he called Jerma "sick", he looked horrified and disgusted to sit next to a dead body, I think he was the only person to care that GL!Ethan had been, you know, brutally murdered, and he also tried to take Ranboo's place in the cutout room.

OPTION TWO: They've all been through the games before. They've all been the main characters, and they've now been moved into other roles with each repetition of the show. So GL!Sneeg was once the main character in Episode 1, and then he fucked up and was locked in the cage with Frank (who also was the protagonist, but then he, uh, well something went wrong and Showfall regrets this Tragic Accident), before Ranboo comes around.

Slimecicle was the main character in Episode 2 once, and he was about to lose the Mousetrap game in the Candy Room, so he ate the piece so the Puzzler couldn't blast him to pieces. Obviously it worked, but he was repurposed as another role, because they took that "oh it's in him" as a great premise for the next time this show went over. Now, our version of Genloss, where GL!Ranboo's the main character, this could happen right after Slime ate the piece, or it could be a while back, but Showfall liked the idea so much they just kept forcing Slime to eat the pieces and random shit, or they cut him open and put it all back inside. Either way, it's not pretty.

Option Two would explain why GL!Vinesauce says "I've done it before" when he asks Sneeg and Ranboo to throw him across the lasers. It would make sense for the first two episodes, where there are other characters and the storyline seems to be in control (as much as Hetch was manipulating Episode 3, Ranboo did have his own mind back and made his own decisions, like with rescuing Streamer Charlie Slimecicle), because for those, the plotline is simple, straightforward, with barely any variation. The characters can be recycled, it makes sense. However, I think accidents do happen, and sometimes, in the case of Frank, actors only get past one episode before, you know, dying. RIP Frank. Squiggles misses you.

#generation loss #genloss #ranboo #ranboolive #gl!ranboo #gl!sneegsnag #gl!sneeg #gl!slimecicle #gl!slime #gl!charlie #generation loss episode 2 #the mastermind of the warehouse #it's late #i need to sleep but the mind is full #if you're reading this and you'd like to be mates #let me know!#always open to talking about theories and things i love it #genloss theories #genloss theory

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dunefeather · 2 years

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Awesome! Here is my request then 😊 could you write a platonic Paul atreides x reader. The reader is his best friend, has been for years, and they are always doing things that could het them into trouble. So one day the both of them aren't as carefull as they should be and the reader gets kidnapped. While everyone is looking for the reader Paul feels guilty. When the reader is finally found Paul stays with them, they talk and hug and overall a fluffy ending. Hope this all makes sense! 😊

Sorry for the wait and here is your fic ! 😊

Thanks for reading, please comment and reblog if you liked it ! 😊

The Wrong Corner

Paul Atreides x Reader (platonic)

Content : best friends, kidnapping, fluff (platonic), angst.

It's not careful, it's not ladylike, it's not the moment to joke. How many times have you heard all these statements wherever you go ? Who cares if you can grab some opportunity to breathe in this castle ? And not ladylike... they can talk as much as they want but that won't change the fact that people like reliable strangers. Does the court think that looking dead inside is what will help them to remain popular ? No, because they're idiots.

Fortunately for you, as serious as Paul Atreides can be, he is the first one to get involved in the chaos surrounding you. More in your shadow during those moments, you share some mischievous blink before doing something stupid. Annoy an old lady criticizing some decoration ? Check. Pretend you were not the one that accidentally released the doves from their cages? Check - well you got caught that time but as it had been an actual accident you never got punished much. Stay late at night in the heir's quarters to the point that stupid rumors started to spread and get you in trouble ? Check - and not fun at that, the Duke is terrifying once upset.

"You are going to run late." Paul warns you for the third time.

"Yeah I know that's my goal." You mumble.

After a quick glance above your shoulder to make sure no one can see you, you lift your dress up to run more easily to some hallway situated at the opposite side of where you should go, Paul remaining at his spot with an amused sigh before you disappear at the corner. You and your stray cats, it's a long story.

The heir doesn't ask himself many questions as he reaches the hall, more than prepared to be seen as an accomplice through everyone else's eyes. But to be fair he doesn't care much, it has been the case since your childhood.

"Paul ?" His mother asks with a raised eyebrow.

"She's going to join us later."

Nothing more than an eye roll from her as he takes a seat by his father's side. The Duke turns his head to his son, and this time not even any word needed before the leading Atreides sighs, only to stand up and welcome the guests with a warm smile.

At first, Paul doesn't pay much attention to his surroundings. It's noisy, for once good and unique jokes spreading from ear to ear followed by sincere laughs. Food is good, his dish soon emptied one after the other. For a while his biggest worry is how much his belt starts to hurt his belly swollen with the insane amount of food ingested, but that soon changes as he hears your mother's voice behind him.

"My Lord I'm sorry for interrupting you, but have you seen my daughter ?"

"No ? I thought she was coming later ?" The Duke answers as he puts his fork back onto his plate.

"I asked some guards to find her but she simply disappeared."

This makes Paul raise his eyes towards your seat. Nothing used at your table, no food, no paper towel. You really haven't been seen since you went to feed those cats ? He gets that you get distracted rather quickly but still.

"Paul," his father asks him, "did she tell you something?"

"Hum... yeah she was about to go see some stray cats in the eastern aisles, the one that are going to get renovated." He admits calmly. "She loves them. I think she might have gotten them some food from her quarters."

The middle-aged woman sighs before chuckling in relief.

"She's always up to something I guess. I'm sorry for the confusion but it was starting to seriously get on my nerves."

"She is going to go back soon." The Duke says with a smirk. "She is going to get hungry, you know how she is. I can send a patrol to look for her."

"Please my Lord. I'm certain she is doing well but you know, I am so sorry that she gets in trouble all the time. I do my best not to make her..."

"Nothing to apologize for. We will find her my Lady."

Paul smiles at this, following your mother now back at her seat with his eyes. The lightness of the atmosphere soon vanishes though as he notices the worry on her face as she looks around. Same when he notices his father's stern face scanning the room as if he was looking for someone else missing. That's when he understands that this is not normal, even from you. The desserts just arrived and now that he checks the clocks, there was no way for you to spend three whole hours with cats when you were complaining about your dramatic starvation five minutes before you ran away.

Fifteen minutes later everyone is sent back to their quarters with guards escorting the small groups as the alert is given. An empty paper bag got found where you were supposed to be.

"Paul. Tell us what you know."

The young Atreides feels accused when his father interrogates him in his chamber, but he can't blame him. He actually thought you were doing fine and got distracted by some stupid shrimps, vegetables and cereals while you were vanished. How could he favor his stomach over his dear friend ?

This night is atrociously long as Paul waits for more information. He keeps his clothes on as he paces around his room them lies down on his bed. Then he gets up to put his pajamas on, his pale and anxious face staring at his reflection in the mirror. Fear feeds his mind with horrible images all produced by his own imagination, the imagination of a man guilty with all his soul.

How stupid was he to think that a young woman is safe in some abandoned part of the castle ? Or maybe you followed a cat in the garden and are playing with it. But what if a corrupt guard took you somewhere ? Or one of the workers living nearby ? Yeah you definitely followed a cat, a beautiful and cuddling cat you liked, the orange one. Your parents would repeat you not to get too far away from the adults and today the worst happened, you certainly got kidnapped. Or maybe you found another cat.

Paul falls asleep for ten minutes before jolting awake, covered in sweat as someone knocks on his door.

Quick to get onto his feet, he doesn't wait for the guard to finish his sentence. You are at the infirmary and that's all he needs to know.

This time he is the one not caring at all for the etiquette - after all as you say they can make some efforts for exceptional reasons to understand - and runs to your bed.

"Are you alright ? What happened ?" He asks hastily.

His hands don't leave your arm as he stands next to you, your tired face smiling to him. Just a few bruises, and a scratch on your hand, most likely due to a cat or something similar.

"I'm alright Paul." You whisper as you sit up. "I'm glad you survived a boring dinner without me."

"There were guards everywhere in the hallway," he whispers, "what happened ?"

"Uh. Long story." You chuckle, embarrassed. "Let's say... I saw a few kittens in a hole in the wall, you know next to the window. I didn't want the workers to bury them alive by mistake the day they start to take care of that part so I started to move them away. The mother was not that happy about it. The noise alerted a guard that... wasn't... a guard."

"Huh ? What do you mean ? And I've already told you not to touch the kittens."

"Yeah sorry. Won't happen again. Basically the guard tried to kidnap me."

Flabbergasted, the heir looks at you as you direct a forced smile to him. This doesn't last for long as shame makes you lower your head, his hands soon taken by yours.

"It's the first time I've seen Duke Leto almost acting like a tyrant when they caught the guy. They brought him to your father when they found me."

"What did he do to you ?"

"Uh... nothing. I mean he kidnapped me so it's something. Uh... He locked me up in some room bit left me there I think he wanted to abduct me to somewhere else. You are going to have to talk to your father about it I guess, he was trying to interrogate the guard before my mother could try to rip his tongue off."

"Did he hurt you ?"

"No. I mean not more than what you can see here." You sigh as you examine your forearms. "I have a few blood tests ongoing because I bit him."

"Did your parents receive threats ?"

You shrug.

"Not more than usual. I guess we won't have much answers for now. I'm just so tired."

Of course you would feel that way. How could you possibly fall asleep with that guy waiting for the right moment to bring you where he intended to ?

"Come here." He mumbles as he pulls you to him. "I can't with you, please be careful after that."

He didn't quite plan his motion and has to adjust your position when you start to mumble with your face pressed against his chest, but then rests your chin on his shoulder as he becomes the one in an uncomfortable position. He doesn't care much about it though. You are safe and he needs to express this unstoppable need to feel his friend against him. He hopes it's the last time such thing happens to you, he can't deal with a near heart attack as regularly as he could when he was a little kid seeing you doing all the risky things to make him laugh.

"You're supposed to be my partner in crime." You complain as he releases you from his embrace. "Where would be the fun in our life without a bit of risk ?"

"I feel guilty enough for not having insisted a bit more for you to come with me or even for not following you." He admits with a frown. "It could have saved us all from that. And especially you. Who knows what he could have done."

"I'm fine Paul. I'm fine." You say with a soft voice.

"Yeah. For this time." He scoffs.

It's obvious that you are hiding the shock you felt at all this, but your reassuring smile is all he needs for now.

- - - -

Thanks for reading, please comment and reblog if you liked it ! 😊

#paul atreides x reader #paul atreides x you #paul atreides #timothee chalamet #timothee chalamet x reader

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layla-carstairs · 1 year

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(this got way too long i'm sorry lol) don't even get me started on the timeline there's so much that doesn't make sense!! i've tried to map it out because i am insane but i am definitely putting more thought into this than cc herself. like, in the days past 1900 chapter cordelia mentions that she's 13, when it's literally impossible for her to be 13 that year ????

and lowkey i am just very excited to see someone else mention the mess that it is the timeline because i've been thinking about when alastair and thomas must have gone on their travel year (and also during that travel year when thomas must have gone to paris because they wouldn't just give him a holiday immediately right, like it must have been december 1902 they met, yes i am overthinking this) for years lol

my best guess is that charles arranged to marry ariadne in early 1901 but it wasn't officially announced?? it was just an arrangement/promise and then he went to paris and met alastair later that year (though i think they'd already met yikes) and they dated sometime in 1901 (where alastair would have been 16-17 /yikes/), for any of this to work i think we just have to accept that shadowhunters can go on their year abroad before they turn 18, or maybe alastair wanted to get out of the house :( and then maybe charles told alastair of the engagement a little bit into their relationship?? don't even get me started on thomas' travel year, we know it lasted 9 months, was from 1902 to 1903 and he had come back fairly recently in august (and tbh i'm gonna stretch that definition of recent and just say the thieves are all being dramatic when they're still toasting him coming back at the beginning of chog). but he also took two weeks holiday in 1902 and saw alastair (who i have to assume was secretly visiting charles since if he was still on his travel year, he could have just said that instead of being cryptic and hilarious lol) anyways in conclusion the timeline is a mess

i thought cordelia's birthday must be really late in the year but i did not realise this means it would be impossible for her to have her parabatai ceremony lol, okay i can't work out that one unless everyone's straight up lying or don't know their own birthdays

anyways i clearly think about this way too much, sorry for rambling in your inbox, you did not ask for this lmao i have just had many thoughts about timelines from like two years ago that all bubbled up to the surface when i saw your post

okay I am finally answering this, I am so so sorry about the wait </3

honestly when it comes to timelines, I think cc just kinda says things vaguely enough that it makes sense as long as you don't think about it too hard lmao. Also I did not know Cordelia said she was 13 in 1900... In order for that to be possible she'd have to be born in either 1886 or 1887. I wonder if cc just forgot she had said Cordelia was born in 1885? that seems like the only viable option here 😭

Paris 1902 is so bad because a lot of the things that contradict it are in the same book 💀 like with other stuff at the very least you can give cc the benefit of the doubt that she forgot between writing short stories and whatnot. but the same book!! insanity!!

I don't think there's any way to twist it in order for it to make sense? like something has to be wrong. best I've got is Thomas turned 18 in Jan, went on travel year for roughly 8 months meaning he gets back to London right before the start of ChoG in August. He met Alastair in Paris in like, March or April 1903 when he was finishing up his travel year and Alastair was being cryptic just because. Charles and Alastair met in Sept. 1902 when Alastair went on his travel year to Paris; Charles and Ari are already engaged by this point (technically) and every other conflicting detail gets throw out the nearest window lmao. for me at least, shadowhunters going on their travel year before turning 18 defeats the purpose, which is to go on patrol and fight demons in a different country. and if they were able to at 17, I think there's several characters who would be currently on their travel year, like James and Matthew, and who obviously aren't.

The parabatai ceremony thing is annoying because cc actual reconned it :) in the codex it says you have be in childhood to become parabatai, and this is supported by Jem in clockwork prince. however, in tfsa, Simon is still able to become parabatai with Clary despite already turning 18, so now shadowhunters are considered children up until 19 but this only applies to the parabatai ceremony because in every other aspect of life they become adults at 18. this makes sense (not). personally i am of the option that Cordelia turning 18 and being unable to become parabatai with Lucie would have been more interesting, and added some stakes that chot desperately needed. plus it would be funny if they still became parabatai in the end because Will and Jem pulled some strings (the benefits of nepotism 😌)

the timeline of tlh is one of my great enemies at this point and I've held my tongue about it for far too long, so don't feel bad about rambling! (even if it takes me 3 months to reply 🫣)

#cordelia and thomas having the most inconsistent ages in canon is so funny to me #bc the only explanation i can come up with is that cc forgot 1885 was a year people could be born in lmao #i spent the entire wait for chot assuming cordelia and lucie were never becoming parabatai bc cordelia turned 18 #you can imagine how i felt when she simply did not turn 18....#I have so many thoughts about this and I love putting wayyyy to much thought into things #so thank you for the ask! I feel really bad about the delay in answering it :(#perpetualbrainrot #bella talks #chain of thorns #chain of iron #chain of gold #the last hours #cordelia carstairs #thomas lightwood #alastair carstairs #charles fairchild #lucie herondale

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