I’m bored so I’m on an asking spree(again)

Money or Happiness?

Money ☺️

I’m going to be a bastard whether I’m happy or not, so I might as well be a rich bastard right? Plus, the only thing really making me unhappy is my money situation rn sooo…

And Ig I could buy a therapist with the money?

But it also kind of depends on the context of the question

Like, is it that I’m rich but the reason I’m unhappy is because my entire family is dead and the entire world hates me… then I’d chose to be happy instead

Or, I’m physically incapable of feeling happiness, then the therapist plan probably won’t work. Might still chose money for that context tho

If I’m already happy, would choosing money get rid of that?

If I’m already rich, would choosing happiness get rid of that?

Would anything be gotten rid of?

Is it just ‘gain money’ or ‘gain happiness’? ‘Cause if that’s the context, the answer if pretty obvious.

Or is the question like, ‘born happy but poor’ or ‘born rich but unhappy’?

Maybe choosing money gets rid of everything that makes me happy and choosing happiness gets rid of my money? That would be a hard choice. I’d choose money to buy the things that make me happy, but if they’re gone… then there would be no point. But I feel like that’s a bit unfair, and kind of pushing people to the happiness side, since I could still make money.

Or—for that context—I can no longer make money after choosing happiness, and would spend the rest of my life poor? Then I’d rather choose neither tbh

Also, how much money? Could I even say that I’d be rich after?

My friend also made a pretty good point. Is it that picking happiness would give me the things that make me happy? But, in that context, the answer would also be too easy, and every situation would lean towards choosing happiness. Like, money makes me happy, so would I get money? Books also make me happy, so maybe I’d just get books, but buying books is really the only reason I want money, so there’s no point in choosing money either way

Anyways, when I hear this question, I usually assume that you lose one or the other, because just gaining is really too easy to choose. I’m not unhappy right now, so why would I choose to gain happiness? Losing one would make the choice much more difficult

This is probably just a question of values, though, so, money.

Doffy and Corazon's Parents

I feel like I'm the only person I've seen who interprets the Donquixote parents –specifically Homing– the way I do? Most people can pick up on the fact that he's well-intentioned and loves his wife and children enough to lay down his life trying to protect Doffy and Cora, and I've seen a decent number of people also note that he fails as a parent to properly address Doffy's sadism/aggression/antisocial behaviour and Celestial-Dragon-Programming in ways that would actually help him live a healthy, normal life after the family left Mariejois. He's sheltered and lives in a bubble (quite literally considering that leaving Mariejois involves taking off the insulating helmet that keeps you from breathing the same air as ordinary people) and he's horrified at the prospect that the people he idealizes and wants to be like hold genuine spite towards the Celestial Dragons in ways that he can't just hope to avoid by telling the victims of his former peers that he's left all of that behind.

That being said though, I noticed while rewatching Dressrossa that as much as Homing talks about the "honesty" of living as a human and the hollowness of Celestial Dragon society, he never seems to grasp that his peers are *evil*. He thinks of their immense wealth and privilege and the city of Mariejois itself as superficial, and clearly views his peers as misguided and shallow, but he never seems to explicitly condemn the actual atrocities they regularly commit or address it in his home; even though he thinks of himself as morally superior to his peers for choosing a comparatively less opulent and less abusive lifestyle, he doesn't seem genuinely bothered by Doffy repeatedly, loudly expressing his desire to own slaves as they're unpacking. He never bothers to tell his children that his peers are wrong, and the language he uses to condemn his peers excess never actually addresses their cruelty, just his general distaste for their excess and opulence. He doesn't do anything to intervene or apologize when Doffy expresses the same views in public in front of the very people he ostensibly idealizes enough to want to be like. He announces his status right off the bat and allows his child to loudly call for the deaths of people who cross his path without ever apologizing or expressing anything beyond mild discomfort. Even when he leaves Mariejois, he's given much nicer lodgings than most of his neighbours and a decent amount of money and treasure to boot and doesn't seem to want for anything.

Essentially, the outlook Donquixote Homing holds towards humans isn't so much genuine disillusionment with the class he was born into as it is something akin to poverty tourists or orientalist expats who think they're morally superior to and more in tune with the locals than their peers. The subaltern humans exist to him mostly as an aestheticized ideal before they register as people with complex emotions and severe traumas that his peers inflict on them for shits and giggles. He doesn't even seem to register the depths of the harm that people like him have inflicted enough to even fathom that these quaint little people he used to hold power over truly hate and fear them until it's far too late to protect himself or his family.

NAMJOON’S IDEAL TYPE (RM pt. 1)

~ a manifestation of his ideal girlfriend. Continuation into part 2 and part 3. Masterlist here.

Key words: kind, warm, intelligent, independent, extroverted, chic, passionate, career-oriented.

Her personality:

• Unlike Jungkook and Yoongi who I would see being more open minded when it comes to their relationships, Namjoon would be quite specific with whom he chooses to date.

• A lot of depictions of Namjoon’s girlfriend type her as cold and intimidating, but I mostly disagree. He once said his celebrity crush is Blake Lively, so I see him drawn to someone warm, kindhearted, and friendly, but also self-assured and practical.

• MBTI: ESFJ or ENFJ. A natural leader who is empathetic and compassionate.

• She would be incredibly intelligent, both from an academic and philosophical standpoint. Highly educated with a Master’s or Doctorate degree (he has repeatedly stated that a “sexy mind” is important to him).

• Well-spoken and eloquent. Independent and confident as hell.

• She could have a variety of careers; it could be prestigious such as a doctor or lawyer, but she could also do something more “subtly” influential like health policy or international affairs (or maybe even a highly successful book editor?). I could also see him with another celebrity musician/actor.

• Career-oriented, ambitious, and a hard worker. She would hold a lot of value in her job and have a deep passion for it.

• Naturally kind and humble; qualities they share due to experiences of hardships.

• While not nearly as much as him, she would make a decent amount of money. This would make her independent and self-sufficient.

• She would be quite skilled at whatever she does, including her hobbies and work, due to her high work ethic.

• While kind and good with people, she would not be shy or a pushover. She wouldn’t hesitate to call people out on their bad behavior or stand up for what she believes in.

• Not unlike Namjoon, she wouldn’t want to play games in a relationship. She would be direct and have an all-or-nothing mentality.

• Her hobbies might include creative outlets such as fashion, painting, baking, or visiting museums. I think Namjoon would really enjoy someone who has an appreciation for art in some form.

• She might come off as highly flirtatious due to her friendly nature, but would not get satisfaction out of superficial relationships, nor would she like shallow people.

• High emotional intelligence.

• She might be a little impatient, which is well balanced by Namjoon’s calmness and patience.

• Values respect, equality, and kindness (aka gentleman King Kim Namjoon).

• She wouldn’t be intimidated by his fame. She would see him fully as Kim Namjoon the human rather than a celebrity.

Her looks and sexuality:

• While I don’t see Namjoon as superficial, he would undoubtedly be attracted to someone feminine and “pretty”.

• Very likely to be American (but any Race/Ethnicity). While this is obviously not exclusive, he seems to be very drawn to the American career-woman type. It would be nice if she also spoke Korean, but his English fluency would make it easy for them to communicate regardless.

• She would always be well put together and have a strong understanding of fashion.

• Classic, chic style. She could prefer to wear neutrals and lots of black, but I could also see her loving pops of color and gemstone jewelry.

• Red lipstick. Probably smells nice.

• She might wear glasses at home or when she is working.

• Effortlessly sexy. We all know he is a sucker for a sexy woman.

• Somewhat modest, though. She is thin, but naturally sexy due to slight curves and flirtatious nature.

• I do see him preferring someone very well-kempt. She might do pilates or yoga and be subtly toned. She would also have excellent hygiene.

• Long ass legs to match his own. Average to tall height without surpassing him (5’5-5’9 or 165-175 cm). She would love to wear heels nonetheless.

• She might be the same age as him or older; he would unlikely date someone too much younger unless they are as mature and wise as he is. I think he would find dating someone older than him to be super hot.

• She would either be straight or bisexual with a preference for men (I would like to think he would have no issue with this generally, although he might oversexualize it at first).

• Probably gets hit on a lot a quite attractive woman. Although friendly, she would not indulge men she is not interested in.

• Might have a few fine line tattoos on her arms or back that are unique and personal.

• Maybe some extra ear piercings too, but nothing extreme or out of the ordinary.

• She is an overall attractive, well-put together woman. Her confidence and intelligence may seem intimidating, but her warm and friendly aura acts as a people magnet.

• HOWEVER, Joonie is such a kind and open-minded soul that if he met someone he liked and was compatible with, I think all demographics, looks, etc. would be out the window.

• While he comes off as a little woman-crazy, at the end of the day he just wants a deep and meaningful connection with someone.

the thing about deku is that dudebros hate him until he's doing something stereotypically GOAT-worthy like acting like a badass and evading the law and not letting his emotions slip through and it's like... yes. he did do that. he does do that. and that's probably why dudebros latch onto him nowadays because they want to be him, especially because so many of them think that deku and ochako and/or other female characters are destined to be together (through entirely shallow reasons) — but they miss the point.

his inability, or rather his lack of desire to, unlock deeper, more vulnerable, more selfish emotions is not because he's the so-called GOAT, the pinnacle of the sigma grindset bullshit masculinity by hiding his feelings and getting results in an edgy, emotionally unavailable way. no. it's because he cares too much, not too little. he cares so strongly, so aggressively, so softly, so painfully, for the people around him. he's the idealistic version of a hero because he cares, more than anyone, to the point where he'll break his body to pieces. and he projects those emotions outward so much, he doesn't leave any of that care for himself. he chooses not to address selfish thoughts and moments because he's not the one who deserves them. which is why even when he was in his super edgy, dark vigilante look, he was motivated not by anything superficial like money or success, but his own powerful feelings towards helping others. deku is, through and through, a deconstruction of the stoic, apathetic, violence-familiar, strictly goal-oriented view of toxic masculinity. he fights and kicks villain butt because he cares. he also cries and breaks down and smiles and loves with all the warmth in his heart because he cares.

and i think it's really funny that even when deku is "the GOAT" for his surface level grindset outlook, he's still just deku. the deku dudebros would complain about for crying too much and being a wimp is the same deku as the one who selflessly defeated villains during his vigilante era. he didn't "man up" and do a total 180 mentally, he just happens to have layers to his emotional ineptitude. it fucking rocks. not like dudebros would have the brain capacity to understand that, though

Let’s chat.. i am a black woman and I recently found out about ‘divesting’ from YouTube and that was the nail that broke the camels back for me. I’ve been getting so many signs saying leave SW FULLY from God.. I was fighting too hard to be handed a luxury life (that is not actually luxury) and not working for it for myself, righteously. Honestly… why are so much of us trying to sell p*ssy instead of getting ahead in life by doing the hard work that won’t leave our soul feeling rotten…?

So, I’ve accepted SW as a phase in my life. My Holy Spirit has been wanting me to stop but my body/flesh did not want to let go of it. I need to believe that God can solve my problems and have the highest faith in Him only, and serve no other gods.

Be careful who you bring around you also, friends can lead you into that lifestyle and it happens quickly. Around age 21 when I let superficial friends that only care about designers, men, etc… get around me and essentially corrupt my mind. Be careful because you can easily get sucked into that life of shallowness and do things you should not to keep up with the shallowness. It happened to me, led me to spend above my income and in turn, it led me to thinking money, rich men,luxury trips and dates, drinks, etc… can validate me. Then came me turning to older white men since I live in a city where the men with money are generally white. Even if marriage wasn’t the goal for me most times with them , it is truly embarrassing to be so strung out/in the sunken place (lol) that I thought being with a 70,60,50+ year old white man (especially in public) is okay. (I’m in my 20s!!!) I even at one point thought marriage was in the picture with them… lol. I was about to allow myself to enter that mindset when I know that’s not what I want. I know for a fact that I deserve better.

The lifestyle of the sugar baby, sw'er, whatever, I've been invested in for so long and I am just tired of faking that it is .. idk the word . Tired of faking that it is “all that”. Idk the word .. but you get my point (maybe). And I’m not saying it was an entirely horrible experience… but at the end of it all you don’t gain much. (What is it to gain the whole world and lose your soul.) and I feel God never let me get fully invested (face out) either like He kept me protected. My Holy Spirit had me understand through the whole journey that this is not forever and to not let my mistakes linger for life that I actually start to embrace the mistakes.

But thinking back to it all, what was it for? Because I could have put all that time into a more l*gal and profitable business that I am actually proud of , but I chose not to… I chose the “easy” way out which was not so easy especially when the income is sporadic. Maybe it was the thrill. It was like a high. A drug almost. This is a lot to unpack babes.. The devil wanted me to give even more than I gave to that lifestyle and I gave a lot… but nothing God cannot return.

Anyway, babes, I have so much on my mind but I am choosing to work on businesses, study/figure out how to pass my exams, take trips, learn the righteous way I can live my life, travel, lean on God always and just being at peace. I am so at peace right now it's amazing. I am okay with my past because without it i would not come to this realization and I am thankful for the Grace of God that his kindness led me here. So, ladies, the summary is, work for what you want that is beneficial for your Holy Spirit. I am no longer in sw and will continue to write updates here and there! <3

And yes I still very much am a Very Rich B*tchh😘

-VRB

This might be a hot take but to me there is one thing that was made very much clear in this episode and that is where cheum stands. From what we've been shown she has never seen Ray as a friend at all. Even 2 years ago after Ray had attempted to leave this world she says the most superficial things that he has money and that he's handsome. Nothing about his personality just all the shallow things. Her whole focus on this episode was Mew. In her eyes Mew was taken from her because of Ray, and now him being in this relationship and he's as she's saying being introduced to all these bad things. While mew willingly is choosing to do these bad things that he is so much against because he just wants to try something new but she puts that blame on Ray.

Mew is her friend more than anything and to some extent she also has been Boston's friend too but she also very much s*** Shames Boston a lot for sleeping around. When Boston is very open about who he sleeps with and his lifestyle. Coming for his behavior is one thing but coming for how he decides to live his life is another. And even if it comes out as a joke it's a very much apparent thing that she says that he's a s*** for sleeping with other people and not settling. But one thing is for sure is she never fails putting all the blame on Ray like that long speech she gave at the end it was very much like what?? to me. Because in that moment you can see ray isn't and hasn't been okay he's spiraling. Like no Ray hasn't been the best of a friend to everyone, but I do think he cares, and when he's sober i think he genuinely helps his friends out he's enjoyable to be around. But like cheum you haven't been a good friend to him like I understand where she's coming from, but she made that whole last part about herself. Ray's state of mind is absolutely concerning, he literally went into that car and not one person came out. It's like I said she just sees Ray continuously as a problem and not as the friend that has a problem needs to actually be there for and support. Is it tiring and draining it probably much so is but if you haven't shown yourself to be a friend to someone at all you really wouldn't pay attention or notice. To what they are actually going through. He needs to see that he is someone that can be loved yes that also comes from within. But also from his friends and they want him here! but it's hard when you have that one friend who constantly reminds you what you are to them all the things that you already started to believe. And I'm not saying she needs to Baby him because at the end of the day all of this comes down to Ray and if he's willing to make those changes to be more present. And be a better version of himself like he is because he has the potential to be we've seen it when he's with Sand especially. (not to mention He said himself he's happy with sand)

Because even in the last scene Boston didn't say anything, because I think this is something that Boston has become sadly used too. Seeing Ray at his lowest like this, like i said he was a Outsider this ep and a Observer he just looked on because I think he is feeling like this was inevitable and he knew this was going to happen at the some point. (Also remember it was Boston's pov so that says alot of how he views this group through his eyes).

I really hope we see where and how they all came and started to become this friend group, and who clicked with who instantly. But as the years go by and they get older. It's normal to get closer to other people more in your circle than others and I'm not saying that she's wrong for getting closer to mew but it's just now how she views Ray and her approach with him.

She really is not attractive is she? Lots of money spent and plastic surgery to just be average.

I read a comment from an article that was a harsh guy comment but really true about her...... he wrote, that Meghan Markle desperatly wants to be beautiful and special - what society and men think is a 10. In her delusional, fantasy world head she is but in reality she is not (that is why she won’t go away.)

This guy said she’s a 5 maybe a 6 when all dolled up and that is why society, movies, millionaire men etc haven’t responded to her to give her the life she wants.

If a rich, powerful man is looking to buy superficial, arm candy, a 10+ .... there are plenty of unbelievably stunning woman around to choose from. These men wouldn’t look twice at Markle. She’s just average looking with a shallow, fake, personality- nothing more.

Look at the men she got before mentally ill Harry....Very very average guys. She’s not getting the ‘10’ guys or the big players or the really rich men (even after desperately trying).

This really sums it all up. I know this man’s comment is cold and rude about a woman, but I think he is absolutely right on about Megsy and it is interesting reading it from a man’s perspective.

"The Alienation Of The Sexes: Feminism And The Manosphere."

The ideologies of both modern Feminism and of the so called “Manosphere” work to alienate the sexes from one another by entirely denigrating one sex in the eyes of the other. The first of these two ideologies (Feminism) operates by denying biology . The second ideology bases its entire doctrine on the idea of biological science, but grossly oversimplifies and mischaracterizes it in order to vilify the female sex. “We do not vilify women” its advocates will immediately respond. “Our propositions are not moral propositions they are merely descriptive. Women are not bad, they are simply what the evolutionary process has made them to be in order to maximize human survival and fitness.”

And what exactly has it made women according to the Manosphere? It has made them: self serving, superficial and incapable of feeling genuine love and sympathy for men. Women are “hypergamous” (which is a ubiquitous term in the Manosphere). They care only about exploiting the advantages of the highest status mate they can acquire for the benefit of themselves and their offspring. A man is simply a means to an end. The man on the other hand developed to have genuine affection for the woman because he was originally responsible for her provision and protection (just as she was responsible for the child’s, to whom she is singularity devoted).

Now things worked in a synergistic way for men and women as long as they were stabilized by traditional values and marriage, but now that both of these have been corrupted (and a court system which heavily favors women has been established) men and women are left with conflicting and competing individual interests. Men, according to this ideology, must now permanently discard of any genuine emotional investment in the opposite sex and pursue their own individual interests in the form of: money making, building social status, and pure sexual gratification. Interaction with the opposite sex consists of successfully gaming them in order to serve one's own interests (for both sexes).

Finally, everything that has been outlined above here about men actually concerns so called "Alpha males"; the small minority of men at the top of the social hierarchy that is allegedly pursued by most women. The majority of the male population is destined to languish in solitude and obscurity. This dark odd doctrine I have just described has become the counterpart to Feminism in the modern day. What happens to the nuclear family according to this perspective? Well, it is simply doomed; and society is most likely doomed along with it. All that remains for men at this point is the shallow pursuit of their own individual gratification while everything burns.

Manosphere ideology is nihilistic, while Feminist ideology is Utopian. Modern Feminism outright denies biology. Being born a male or a female means [essentially] nothing in particular. Everything is a social construct. And so if everything is socially constructed, it can be entirely reconstructed to conform to the whims of the ideologue. For example traditional masculinity (a compound of traits which is allegedly toxic by its very design) is a social construct to be dissected, exposed and dissolved. The Manosphere morally denigrates the female sex, but claims it is doing nothing more than describing a morally neutral biological reality. The Feminist (essentially) calls for the elimination of the male sex, but claims that she is merely targeting a malignant social construct.

Regardless of how such groups choose to frame and to justify their animus toward the opposite sex, it is what it is. And those of us who support the ideal of mutual love and understanding between the sexes must openly and decisively oppose these movements and groups.

How do you know if you view relationships as transactional? There’s definitely people I interact with casually even when there isn’t a clear benefit in my mind.

But I do have a view that if I give, you’re required to give and if you don’t, I’m not gonna give anymore because I’m not gonna waste my time on somebody that only obtains benefits from me but I gain nothing from them. I feel like the view I just described though is something I see in pro social relationships too? So I’m unsure if I fit the bill of viewing relationships as transactional.

I definitely do keep people around longer than I should though if I see some sort of benefit, e.i; they give gifts, they’re wealthy and spend it on me, sexual gratification, etc. Even if all feeling for them is gone, those superficial/shallow things can make me hesitant to leave. A real life example is my biggest worry about cutting ties with toxic family members of mine was the fact they wouldn’t send birthday money anymore… these are people I grew up with and I felt nothing besides “:( but birthday money” I miss the birthday money more than I actually miss the people (which I don’t, I feel no pull to contact or see them again and if I do it’s usually because I’m bored).

Okay, so the transactional view of relationships is a pretty specific type of thing, and is one of the main things that can lead to diagnosis because of that. It’s not the “if they don’t give as much as I do/if this isn’t balanced, I’m out” mindset. Although that is definitely something many pwASPD have, it is also a completely normal and healthy boundary to set. It also isn’t keeping toxic people around solely for their practical value, although again many pwASPD do that.

The transactional view of relationships is best explained at the start of a relationship (of any variety that you choose - so not family because that is not a choice). When you are starting to enter a potential friendship/romantic relationship/etc. what are you thinking? If it’s “this person is cool I wanna hang out with them more” or “I really like this person and I wanna spend time with them” or “I enjoy being around this person”, it isn’t transactional - at least not in the ASPD way. While we can feel those things, and not *all* relationships every pwASPD has are always transactional (some pwASPD have entirely transactional relationships, some have some transactional view and some emotional attachment to all relationships, and some have certain relationships that are transactional and certain ones that aren’t), that is considered a typical start to a relationship of any variety.

The transactional view of the beginning to a relationship is usually the exclusive reason for the interactions and/or choosing to become closer, either without thought of who the other person is, or in spite of who they are. The most that is read into is “is this person a threat” and “what can they give me/do for me/what benefit can I get from them”. For many pwASPD, the emotional attachment is an afterthought that comes later, if it comes at all. So rather than “this person is cool I want to spend time with them” it’s “this person can fill this need for me, and I don’t think they’re a viable threat (either because they don’t seem to be a threat by choice or because I’m certain I can handle any threat they may attempt to pose)”. Think about it like how you would think of like a manager at a job - you’re not worried about if you *like* them, though that’s a plus if it’s there, you’re worried about if you can tolerate them well enough to get the benefits of having the job.

If you lose emotions for a person and still stay around them because they hold some practical value, it is technically a transactional relationship, but for pwASPD, that’s the rule not the exception, and it usually starts that way a good amount of the time. So, with the example you gave of toxic family members, rather than just worry about cutting ties with them because of the birthday money, many pwASPD would have realized early that they were toxic, but chosen to become close with them anyway because the social pressure to send birthday money would be there.

I hope that makes sense/helps. I’m definitely not saying you don’t have this view of relationships, just that the way you described it/the specific examples you gave wouldn’t necessarily fit the way it usually presents in ASPD.

Oops gotta add on because I just saw this in the ask box after I finished typing this -

So this description is more of the transactional view we were talking about, but it’s still not the entire reason you even have the person in your life (as far as it sounds, anyway). So while you’re hanging out only to get something from them and that is definitely something a pwASPD would be more inclined to to do, it sounds like your thought when you first became friends with this person was not “oh well I should be friends with them because they’ll give me free alcohol/Wi-Fi”. It sounds like you are “using” them for something, but that that is a secondary bonus of an existing relationship rather than the entire purpose in making that connection in the first place. I hope that makes sense, it’s not super easy to explain.

I have only seen the first movie so my only experience was with the marketing rather than the film portrayals, but rereading the books as an adult and remembering how I interacted with them as a middle schooler definitely had me critical of how central the love triangle was to the cultural conversation surrounding the series. it’s certainly an important element in the novels, mostly in that it represents two different potential character arcs for katniss. when the films and even the books were being marketed, however, the focus shifted to the aesthetic and surface-level emotional appeal of the love interests rather than the central conflict to katniss’s character. which like, I don’t expect a more nuanced approach from marketers who clearly just saw an opportunity to make money off 12-year-olds. the unfortunate factor is that 12-year-olds are absolutely capable of literary analysis, but they are also highly impressionable and so a lot of otherwise keen readers, myself included, did end up overly focused on the superficial aspects of the “peeta vs. gale” debate rather than engaging with the text more meaningfully. sorry to write an essay in your inbox! I am unfortunately obsessed with this series.

no apology necessary!! i love an essay 🩶

i was also of a similar age seeing the movies as they came out (i read the books around 8/9 and was 10 when the first movie premiered), and my memory of the marketing/cultural conversation is very limited (i have maybe three clear memories of interacting with the series as a kid and one of them is crying over prim in an outback steakhouse), but i completely buy that much of the reception of both the books and the movies was very very shallow!

which sucks because rereading as an adult i find myself loving the love triangle as a plot point, even beyond the ramifications for katniss’ arc/further development. i love the way the love triangle serves to underscore on one hand how much she is a teenager and on the other hand how much she is unable to be a teenager. katniss is 16/17! she’s so so young! it’s so so normal that she’s wrapped up in romantic considerations, that she has crushes on boys, that she doesn’t know how to communicate with them; and it’s so so upsetting the way that weaves into the theft of her childhood as a continual theme. she should be able to figure out her feelings for peeta in her time and on her terms, but her autonomy is stolen and she’s corralled into this relationship where she has to remain for the rest of her life. she can’t choose peeta and she can’t choose to leave peeta. and even outside of the capitol controlling her, on an interpersonal level, everyone involves themselves in her private life and leaves her no room to ever make a choice (the scene where coin casually asks if katniss wants them to start presenting gale as her new lover…). the romantic drama is arguably the most normal part of katniss’ time as a teenager and it’s still stolen and corrupted and made public property because katniss cannot be a teenager and cannot be or belong to herself.

i don’t know!! it’s good. it’s good writing. and it is so sad that the conversation is/was ‘which boy should katniss choose’ and not ‘growing up under an oppressive government denied katniss both adolescence and autonomy and her relationships with peeta and gale are fundamentally formed in those traumatic circumstances’ etc. etc.

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What are some common misconceptions about hypergamy?

Introduction

Hypergamy is a term that is often used in discussions about dating and relationships. It refers to the tendency of individuals to seek partners who are perceived to be of a higher social status than themselves. However, there are many misconceptions about the term that can lead to misunderstandings and false assumptions. In this blog post, we will explore some of the most common misconceptions about hypergamy and provide a more accurate understanding of what it really means.Before we go into the topic, if hypergamy is all you want to learn about women, consider checking out our other blogs, but if you want to learn more about women, then consider checking out our ebook. Hypergamy: The guide to understanding women

Misconception 1: Hypergamy is exclusive to women

One of the most persistent misconceptions about hypergamy is that it is exclusively a female behavior. This is simply not true. While it is true that women are more likely to marry up in terms of social status, men also engage in hypergamy. Men may seek partners who are younger, more physically attractive, or who have a higher income or social status. Hypergamy is not limited to one gender or the other and can be observed in both men and women.

Misconception 2: Hypergamy is a gold-digging behavior

Another common misconception about hypergamy is that it is gold-digging behavior, with women seeking out wealthy partners solely for their money. While it is true that financial security is an important factor in many people's partner preferences, it is not solely about money. Many individuals seek out partners who are successful or have a high social status for reasons that go beyond financial gain. For example, they may be attracted to intelligence, ambition, or leadership qualities that often accompany success.

Misconception 3: Hypergamy is a modern phenomenon

Another common misconception is that hypergamy is a modern phenomenon, driven by the rise of feminism and women's increasing economic independence. In reality, it has been a part of human behavior for centuries. Throughout history, men and women have sought out partners who could provide them with social and economic benefits. In some cultures, hypergamy has been explicitly encouraged, with women being encouraged to marry men of higher social status in order to secure their own social standing.

Misconception 4: Hypergamy is a choice

Another common misconception about hypergamy is that it is a conscious choice made by individuals. While it is true that people may have certain preferences when it comes to choosing a partner, it is also influenced by social and cultural factors. Society often places a high value on social status, wealth, and success, and individuals may feel pressure to seek out partners who embody these qualities. Additionally, individuals may not even be aware of their own hypergamous tendencies, as they are influenced by subconscious biases and societal norms.

Misconception 5: Hypergamy is inherently negative

Finally, there is a common misconception that hypergamy is inherently negative, with individuals who engage in this behavior being labeled as shallow, superficial, or opportunistic. However, it is not inherently good or bad. It is simply natural human behavior that is influenced by a variety of factors, including social and cultural norms, personal preferences, and individual experiences. While it can sometimes lead to negative outcomes, such as social inequality or relationship dissatisfaction, it can also lead to positive outcomes, such as increased social mobility and personal growth.

Conclusion

Hypergamy is a complex behavior that is influenced by a variety of factors. It is not limited to one gender or another, and it is not solely driven by financial gain. Rather, it is natural human behavior that is influenced by social and cultural norms, personal preferences, and individual experiences. By understanding the common misconceptions about hypergamy, we can develop a more accurate and nuanced understanding of this behavior and its role in modern dating and relationships.

The Midheaven and Careers

In career readings, I interpret the midheaven as your ideal output into the world through your career. It represents the public image, professional reputation, and style of work that will bring you the most satisfaction in life. While I don’t believe that astrology tells you exactly which career to pursue, it can give some excellent pointers for which themes in the workplace will resonate with you in the best ways so that you can find personalized ways to meet those needs and maximize your workplace potential with whatever you choose to do.

Aries Midheaven

You thrive on the cutting edge of your field, pioneering new horizons and taking a leading role in the beautiful chaos of action and innovation. You’re happiest diving head-first into the action of your field rather than watching and analyzing from afar. In your career, nothing makes you happier than getting your hands dirty (literally or metaphorically), riding the waves of chaos, and channeling that momentum into something truly powerful and beautiful. Seek out hands-on positions where you get to work right in the action, and the results (both personally and professionally) won’t disappoint.

Taurus Midheaven

You have a powerful eye for beauty that shouldn’t be ignored in your career. You bring an incredible amount of beauty and positive energy into your professional life and you’re happiest when you’re about to exercise that through what you do. When there’s something in the world that you find particularly beautiful, whether that’s a concept, topic, idea, or item, look for ways to channel that into your work and you’ll find yourself feeling more inspired and satisfied than ever with what you do.

Gemini Midheaven

You’re articulate and expressive in your work, bursting with strong communicative energy that wants to be seen and heard in your professional life. For you, just thinking about something isn’t enough and you’re much happier taking that extra step of expressing your thoughts, ideas, and work. You find much more satisfaction by finding ways to make your work seen and heard, whether that’s through writing, speaking, or leveraging the multitude of communicative tools online to share your unique insights with the world.

Cancer Midheaven

You’re a nurturer by nature and you’re happiest being able to use that skill in your career. Rather than just pursuing your own success, you strive to help your peers grow and develop, too. Finding ways to guide or mentor people ignites a powerful spark that motivates you to produce amazing work and inspire others to do the same. If you ever feel disconnected from your work, seeking out ways to guide and nurture others could be the “missing piece” in your professional life that you’re looking for.

Leo Midheaven

Your work sparkles in the spotlight with a beautifully personal flare. Whether it’s as a supervisor, mentor, or role model to your peers, you have incredible leadership potential that wants to shine. Serving as a leader in any form makes for a mutually beneficial relationship in which you inspire those around you to go that extra mile in what they do and you get a sort of acknowledgement and recognition that ignites your passion to keep growing as a professional and leader. Seek out ways to use your flare and charisma to inspire others in your professional life and both you and them will benefit immensely.

Virgo Midheaven

When met with an intellectual challenge, you’re truly a force to be reckoned with. A challenging and mentally stimulating puzzle in your work is often exactly what you need to kick your brain into the top gear, a feeling that can be incredibly motivating, empowering, and inspiring for you. Your career potential is geared towards intense thinking and problem solving, so you will most likely benefit immensely from a job involving lots of puzzles for you to solve - one where you can really use the full extent of your intellectual capability and push your brain to its limits and beyond.

Libra Midheaven

You bring a profound sense of kindness and harmony to your professional life that you thrive off of being able to share with others. You’re blessed with the ability to add a personal touch to your work relationships, making your colleagues, clients, and whoever else you work with feel comfortable and at home in ways that most professional relationships are unable to achieve. Being able to connect with others in a genuine and personal way in your career can bring you immense happiness and satisfaction in your work and can be an incredibly valuable asset to your workplace in the right setting.

Scorpio Midheaven

You’re not afraid of intense, gritty, and hands-on work. What matters to you is that your professional life is deep, meaningful, and most importantly that it feels real and genuine to you. You probably burn out easily from tasks that feel shallow or superficial, but reaching new levels of emotional depth in your work is unbeatably empowering and rewarding for you. Don’t be afraid to get your hands dirty in your work to make this happen - you thrive off of a good emotional challenge and can stand strong where most would just run away.

Sagittarius Midheaven

You’re a true pioneer in the workplace, unafraid to lead the charge into new endeavors and boldly go where no-one has gone before. You’re happiest on the cutting edge of your field in a workplace that encourages you to explore, innovate, and venture to new horizons. Repetition in your professional life bores you and you’re much better off when you’re able to put your intellectual enthusiasm to use at its full potential.

Capricorn Midheaven

This is a real career powerhouse placement in a lot of different ways. It’s bursting with potential for growth, advancement, and leadership in your career, a real force of nature that’s longing to be exercised to its fullest. Look for jobs that really let you show your worth and earn your right to spread your wings. You know you’re in your element when mobility and opportunity for advancements are within your sights in your professional life.

Aquarius Midheaven

You’re bursting with unique and innovative new ideas that you strive to develop and act on in your professional life. An ideal workplace for you is one where your thoughts are taken seriously and you’re given the freedom and support needed to develop them into fruition. Seek out positions where your opinions are valued and you’re given the creative freedom to spread your wings, and the results won’t disappoint.

Pisces Midheaven

This placement channels a very thoughtful, reflective, and emotionally driven energy into your professional life. An ideal career for you is more than a chance for money and advancement, but a hotspot of personal growth and self-reflection. A work environment that shares those values and encourages you to take your career achievements to a more personal and internalized level is an incredibly powerful and inspiring experience for you, giving you that extra push to be the best you can be as a professional and as a person.

peach fuzz, he can’t even grow it

↬  Pairing: Levi Ackerman x Reader

↬  Word count: 2.3k

↬  Synopsis: Four words. Levi with facial hair.

    Cream white clouds floated above as the wind breeze gently pushed them. Trees were in full blossom and flowers were pushing through the earth. The market was lively, with merchants continuously and incessantly shouting in attempts to advertise their goods whilst the townspeople roamed around, perhaps window shopping. A group of children were playing tag, which caused a disturbance as they ran around bumping into other people. As always, some soldiers from the Military Police would huddle together—slumped on top of crates—as they talked and drank booze all day. How you wish you could spend your days lounging around without a care in the world. Alas, since you are a part of the Survey Corps, that dream would never come true.

    “(____). . .” your partner started, pulling you out of your thoughts. You hummed in response, eyes momentarily gazing at the male walking beside you. It was none other but the ever so stoic captain, Levi Ackerman, your loving boyfriend for five months. His raven hair locks swayed ever so slightly with each step he took. He looked soft, if it wasn’t for his cold silver eyes glaring at every male who dared to look at you longer than he would’ve like

    “What is it, captain?” you teased, fully aware that it irked him when you call him by his title and not by his name. A smirk donned on your face as you heard him click his tongue.

    “Let’s pass by the Bill’s tea shop. I heard they were giving out discounts,” Levi uttered, choosing to ignore your teasing rather than chewing you out for it.

    “Sure, why not? We are kind of low on tea leaves anyway,” you responded. Earlier that day, Levi invited you to go with him for a stroll around the market place. It was his own way of asking you out on a date. After countless restless weeks full of paperwork and meetings, Levi thought that a walk on the town would ease both of you and take your mind off of work for once and focus on him.  

    Levi looked at you from his peripherals ever so often, making sure that your dumbass wouldn’t get lost in the middle of the crowd. He took note of the way your eyes shone as your intertwined your hands with his. You would hum a tune ever so often, and the skip to your step signifies that you are in a joyous mood. Who wouldn’t? After all, you get to have some alone time with the captain.

    The door creaked open as both of you walked inside the small shop. “Ah! Captain Levi!” Bill cheered as soon as he saw the male. Levi gave him a short nod in acknowledgement.

    “I figured that you would soon visit my shop. So I saved some black tea leaves,” the shop owner informed, his excitement evident. Which is to be expected. Despite Levi’s cold demeanor and harsh rumors, people can’t help but be amazed and idolize the so called “Humanity’s strongest soldier”.

    You detached your hand from Levi’s as you wandered aimlessly around the store, admiring the jars full of tea leaves that adorned the shelves of the shop. Your boyfriend eyed you for a moment before striking a conversation with the shop owner, eager to get the discount he heard.

    Levi hummed in delight as Bill twisted the cap of the metal container. The delightful scent of black tea flooded his nostrils. One of the perks of being captain that Levi found himself relishing in is the increased pay grade. In certain occasions (such as this), he likes to spend more than his monthly expenses to treat himself.

    “How much?”

    “Since you are a regular customer of mine, I would give you a thirty percent discount,” the shop owner replied. With that said, the male fished inside his satchel in hopes to find the sack full of coins.

    “Captain Levi. . .” Bill trailed off as Levi counted the coins, making sure that he pays the exact amount. He hummed in response, eyes focused.

    “It really amazes me how despite your old age, you still look rather youthful,” the shop owner commented. Levi snapped his eyes towards the male almost immediately, brows furrowing in a deep scowl. What does he mean by that?

    Unfazed, the shop owner continued. “Why don’t you try and grow a beard? Ladies love men with beards, if I do say so myself.”

    With that, Levi glanced at you examining the shelves. A thought crosses his mind. Would it really attract you more if he had facial hair? Levi knew that you weren’t shallow and superficial when it comes to physical features. He was aware that you would love him no matter how he looked. Despite that, he can’t help but recall one instance wherein you complimented Mike. Informing the blond that his moustache really suited him.

    Or that one time when you playfully rubbed your palms against Erwin’s stubble. Giggling at the friction that tickled you. Levi pressed his lips to a thin line as he placed the money on the counter. He said nothing as he twisted the cap close and grabbed the metal container.

    “(____). Let’s go,” he called. Your ears perked up at Levi’s voice, then you skipped your way towards the male. His heart softened at the sight of your cheery face. Levi found himself leaning in to kiss you, but then was quickly reminded that both of you were in a public space. He cleared his throat, facing away from you and heading towards the door.

    “Come back again, Captain!” Bill exclaimed a little too lively. You bid farewell to the shop owner before jogging up to Levi, who was already outside.

    “Sheesh. You could’ve said goodbye. He really admired you, you know?” you playfully nudged Levi to the side. He clicked his tongue but made no response to your comment. Levi’s mind run wild with thoughts as he continuously darted his attention from you and the road. Would you really like it if he changed up his looks? Impatience biting at him, the male finally decided to ask you.

    “(____),” Levi started in which you hummed in response. “Beards. Do you like them. . .?”

    You staggered behind, caught surprise by his question. “Come again?”

    Levi clicked his tongue, increasing in pace as he walked ahead of you. His cheeks burned in heat and the tips of his ears turned bright red. He can’t believe that he would be insecure in such a miniscule detail. Nonetheless, maybe he could try it out to see your reaction.

    Over the next few days, you took note of the stubble adorned the features of your beloved boyfriend, which perplexed you. Levi was known to shave weekly, stating that he likes to keep himself looking clean. The male made sure that no stray hair would be seen growing on his face. Yet there he was sitting in front of his desk, patches of hair evident on his upper lips and chin.

    Levi sat quietly whilst reading the paperwork before him, taking a sip from his cup of tea ever so often. You eyed him cautiously, taking your eyes off of the book you hold. The deafening silence irritated you. You wanted to ask him about the change in his looks, but decided to go against it. Suppose he was just too busy doing paperwork and training the cadets that he had little to no time in shaving his face. Yeah, it was just the lack of time. Maybe he would shave it later.

    But hours, turned into days. And days turned into weeks. Still, Levi did not shaved. By now, you are convinced that your boyfriend is trying to grow a full beard. With weak attempts, mind you. Seeing as there are patches on his skin wherein there were no facial hair on sight. Suppose it was his own feeble attempts in styling, but given that he had no experience in it. Levi’s facial hair looked wonky and unkempt, much to your amusement as well as Hange’s.

    Hange snorted from beside you, stretching her legs as both of you watched the man barking orders at the cadets. “Looks like shorty is trying on a new style.”

    You pursed your lips and hugged your knees close to your chest. “I don’t know what has gotten into that mind of his.”

    The brunette tore her gaze of the captain to look at you. “Kinda suits him, don’t you think?” she nudged you lightly.

    “Only if he knows to style it well! Look at his face!”

    Your comment made Hange roared with laughter, her hand slapping her knee as she tried to calm down. Snickering alongside the brunette, you can’t help but join her seeing as her laughter was contagious.

    Levi furrowed his eyebrows in a deep scowl as yours and Hange’s boisterous cackle reached his ears. He tore his gaze off the cadets for a moment, to shoot both of you an ice cold glare. Much to his dismay, the two of you were too caught up with laughing to notice him. Levi shook his face, folding his arms across his chest as he chose to ignore the noise.

    Little did he know, you would pester him about it later.

    By the time nightfall came, the mess hall was rowdy. Eren and Jean, as per usual, were bickering and borderline ready to start a full blown fight if it weren’t for Mikasa coaxing Eren to stop. Sasha, as expected, gulped down her food in an instant, and is now stealing other’s rations. Seems like it was now a daily routine in the mess hall.

    You munched down your bread, Hanji by your side. The brunette chatting away with Erwin, who sat across the table from her. They were mostly talking about the failed expedition last time, and were now brainstorming on what they could do to improve the formation. Occasionally, you would utter suggestions here and there, in which Erwin nodded in acknowledgement.

    Strangely enough, you don’t see Levi anywhere, which worried you. That means that the male is caging himself inside his office once again. Possibly going over the mountain of paperwork which opted him to skip meals. You sighed as you stood up, an action that caught both of your friends’ attention.

    “I’m going to fetch Levi in his office,” you informed, leaving the mess hall without waiting for their reply. Luckily, his office was close by. Just a couple of halls down, a sharp turn to the right, and the second door to the left. You had practically memorized the way to his room, after a myriad of times dragging Levi out to eat.

    You made no attempt to knock at the door, given that the male gave you permission a long time ago to come inside his office anytime you want. You sucked in a breath, ready to scold Levi about skipping meals. But was cut short when his empty chair greeted you.

    You blinked, slightly tilting your head to the left in confusion. If Levi wasn’t here, where was he?

    As if on cue, you heard noises coming out of his private bathroom. As silently as you could, you tip-toed towards the door and leaned your ear towards it. You heard him muttering a string of curses followed by the sound of metal clashing with porcelain. Slowly, you pushed the door open.

    There stood Levi in all of his glory, angrily glaring at the mirror before him as he attempt to style his facial hair for the umpteenth time. You suppressed a snort, but failed miserably.

    Levi’s eyes instantly darted towards yours, his cheeks heating up in embarrassment since he was caught in the act. “What?”

    “What do you mean what? What are you doing?” you leaned your weight on the wall, a smug look on your face.

    If looks could kill, you would probably be dead by now given by the way Levi looks at you menacingly. You took note of the way the tips of his ears turned beet red.

    “Are you trying to grow a beard?” you sauntered towards him. Levi sighed through his nose, hands ruffling his raven hair.

    “Thought you might like it,” he weakly muttered. Seeing Levi in such a weak state was rare. Considering that he would never show such demeanor when with others, but since you are his beloved, he was comfortable enough around your presence that he could relax.

    “Awwee, babe!” you threw your arms around his neck, making sure to pepper his cheeks with kisses. Levi’s arms found its way around your waist, grip tightening as he buried his face in your neck. A chuckle emanated from you as you had finally understood his actions. As if reading his mind, you eased his worries that plagued the back of his mind for weeks.

    “You don’t have to grow a beard. You’re already manly and intimidating enough.”

    Levi scoffed, pulling back to press a kiss to your temples.

    “Besides. . .” you trailed off, cupping both of his cheeks. Your thumb rubbing against his facial hair. “You’re already handsome.”

    Levi was taken aback when you rubbed your cheeks against his, relishing the rough friction that his facial hair gives. Your comment, however, made his cheeks flush a deeper red.

    “What are you doing?” he said through squeezed cheeks.

    “I like the feeling of stubbles, hehe. It tickles.”

    After a couple of seconds, you stopped with your actions, finally staring deep into his eyes. “Want to know a secret, Levi?”

    He hummed, leaning his forehead against yours, capturing your lips in a sweet but short kiss.

     “Do you know that facial hairs are known to have traces of bacteria that are found commonly in feces? Hange told me earlier.” you joked. Levi froze, then went silent. You watched in amusement as the color drained from his face, slowly digesting your words.

    Suffice to say, Levi shaved the next day, vowing that he would never attempt to grow a beard again.  

Bertolucci and the Dance of Danger

Last Tango in Paris is a disturbing film that causes a lot of arguments. Fury at the disgruntled vulgarians who came to see a Deep Throat and want everyone around them to know 'they didn't get their money's worth'. Disagreement with companions who see Brando only as a sexist pig or romantic ideal. Our own confusion when we see the film again and respond to everything differently. These encounters release the powerful emotions evoked by the film, but they also grow out of its richness. Bertolucci's confrontation of the issues is profound; the performances (particularly Brando's) are amazingly authentic; and our own needs and fantasies concerning sex, love and death pull us very strongly into private visions of the film.

One way of understanding the film itself is to see it in the context of Bertolucci's earlier works. The central conflicts in Last Tango bear close similarities with those in The Conformist (1970), The Spider's Stratagem (1969), and Before the Revolution (1964). In all these films, one of the central characters is a young person trying to escape from his social class and family background, but who inevitably lives out the values from his past.

Unconventionality is always associated with left-wing politics. In Before the Revolution, Fabrizio joins the Communist Party but ultimately rejects it for its imperfections and returns to his bourgeois family. The young hero of The Spider's Stratagem is unwillingly drawn into the mystery surrounding the death of his father, who was supposedly assassinated by the Fascists. In trying to avenge the murder, the son's identity almost merges with that of his father. In The Conformist, Marcello Clerici tries to escape his father's insanity and his mother's eccentric decadence. In order to appear 'normal', he joins the Fascist Party; but when Mussolini falls, he renounces. the Fascists and retreats into madness like his father. In Last Tango, Jeanne, daughter of a French army colonel, delights in shocking her conventional mother with her liberated lifestyle. But later she destroys her outrageous lover and chooses a conventional marriage. In all these cases, the gap between conventionality and rebellion, between outward appearance and inner emotional reality, makes the person frightened and dangerous, particularly to those who love him.

In Revolution, Conformist and Last Tango, each of these characters chooses between a conventional marriage and a dangerous love affair associated with childhood. In rejecting the romantic lover (who is neurotic or deviant by society's norms), and entering the marriage, each destroys the potential for growth and, as if to ensure that the decision is final, each destroys the loved one. In Revolution,Clelia was destined from childhood to be Fabrizio's bride. He temporarily abandons her for a stormy, incestuous relationship with his aunt Gina, who is neurotic and promiscuous, dislikes adults and tries to remain a child. She is the one who leaves first, but Fabrizio makes the break permanent when he marries. The film ends with the wedding; as the bride and groom drive off, Gina is sobbing and smothering Fabrizio's younger brother with kisses. In The Conformist, Marcello marries Julia, a sensuous but shallow member of the middle class, who offers him a superficial respectability. But he really loves Anna, the wife of the liberal professor whom he is trying to assassinate. Marcello visits Anna at her dancing school where she is instructing little girls in ballet, associating her with children. In their final scene, he, like Fabrizio, sits inside a car with the windows rolled up as Anna sobs hysterically outside; Marcello not only rejects her as a lover, but also abandons her to the assassins.

In Last Tango, Jeanne must choose between her fiancé Tom, whose passion is focused on directing a film about her and her family, and Paul, a stranger, who insists on knowing nothing about her background or outside life. She meets Paul in an empty room where they play like children and explore the extremes of sexual fantasy. With Tom she can have a 'pop marriage' where the smiling youths, dressed in overalls, work on their relationship as if it were an automobile. But Jeanne acknowledges that love is not pop. For love, 'The workmen go to a secret place, take off their overalls, and become men and women again.' This is what she has experienced with Paul, but when he tries to bring their love outside their secret room, she flees in terror.

Each of the characters has a parallel conflict about a male authority figure-an idealistic father surrogate who arouses ambivalent feelings and is ultimately rejected. This theme is central in Spider's Stratagem, where the son tries to discover whether his father was really a traitor or a hero. In Revolution, Fabrizio ignores his bourgeois father and idolizes Cesare, his childhood teacher. Unlike Fabrizio, Cesare combines his communist ideology with humanity and realism. When Fabrizio abandons the Party and his youthful idealism to marry Clelia, the wedding scene is intercut with shots of Cesare reading from Moby Dick to a class of small children. It is the passage describing Ahab's obsessive pursuit of the white whale -the kind of mad but courageous journey on which the Brando character is embarked. But Cesare is an Ishmael, not an Ahab.

In The Conformist, Cesare is transformed into Quadri, the idealistic left-wing philosophy professor who has fled Fascist Italy and settled in Paris. Marcello had been one of his best students, doing his thesis on Plato's allegory of the cave. But he has rejected Quadri and adopted as his new guide Montanari, a Fascist whose physical blindness reinforces Quadri's interpretation that the Italians now see only shadows instead of the truth. On his way to the assassination, Marcello describes a dream in which, after having his eyesight restored by Marcello the professor, Marcello runs off with Quadri's wife (a reversal of the plot of Oedipus). Relating to Quadri as a father implies that Marcello's relationship with Anna is incestuous (as was the relationship between Fabrizio and Gina in Revolution and the potential sex between the son and his father's mistress in Spider's Stratagem). Instead of enacting this dream, Marcello watches Quadri and his wife being murdered, explicitly linking the rejections of the true love and idealistic father (only implicit in Revolution). In Last Tango, the lover and surrogate father become the same person. Paul is old enough to be Jeanne's father; in the secret room she returns to her childhood where she can live out her incestuous desires. When she says of her father: The Colonel-I loved him like a God,' Paul shouts, What a steaming pile of bullshit. All uniforms are bullshit. Everything outside this room is bullshit.' But later, when he chases her to her parents' apartment, he puts on her father's military cap (simultaneously mocking his memory and embodying him) and clowningly says: 'How do you like your hero? Over easy or sunny side up?' She responds by killing him with her father's army pistol. Earlier, when she tried on the same cap and looked like Shirley Temple in The Littlest Rebel, she had said: 'How heavy it was when father taught me how to shoot it. It is doubly heavy when she finally puts the gun to use. In all the films the sexual and political conflict is expressed in a brilliant dance sequence where romantic joy and conventional sterility are polarised. In Before the Revolution Gina and Fabrizio, who have just become lovers, are celebrating Easter Sunday in the bosom of their bourgeois family. The lovers begin to dance, and family.

finally kiss. The extraordinary eroticism of the scene is achieved by drawing us into their intense feelings, expressed in the music and the subtle detail of their faces, revealed through the lingering close-up. The excitement is heightened by the unseeing presence of the family, who have overeaten and are easing into somnolence. The father looks up briefly from his newspaper, momentarily aware, but lapses back into unconcern; the grandmother naps, her mouth agape. When Fabrizio's younger brother enters, his childish face registers awareness of the atmosphere generated by the lovers; Gina brings him into the dance, foreshadowing the film's ending. Spider's Stratagem presents a dance sequence which is the setting for one of the key flashbacks. The father, at his most heroically romantic moment, mocks the Fascists with his bold moves on the dance floor. In The Conformist the contrast is between the tight, controlled machinations of Marcello and his Fascist accomplice and the open, sweeping enchantment of the dance created by the two beautifully clad women. Even the bourgeois Julia is transformed, shouting 'This is Paris… I'm a New Woman.' But in Last Tango the forces of sterility are represented by the tango dancers, as they snap into ritualised postures and stylised grimaces to compete for a prize dispensed by the bourgeois establishment. It is in this context that Paul offers Jeanne a commitment of an older style, but his behaviour clearly shows that whatever he shares with the past, it is not the deadness. Although she is rejecting him, he succeeds in drawing her into the dance, which is their last fling of childlike, playful spontaneity. He carries her piggyback and wiggles his ass defiantly at the outraged lady judge, who tells him, 'It's a contest. Where does love fit in? Go to the movies to see love!'

While all the films share an elaborately textured style, they also imply that style must express the politics of society and emotion in order to transcend an empty formalism. In Revolution, this point is made explicitly. When his friend Agostino is in the grips of suicidal despair, Fabrizio urges him to see Red River, as if a good movie were all he needed. Later, when he is suffering as a result of Gina's infidelity, Fabrizio goes to see Godard's Une Femme est une Femme and encounters a film buff who insists that Nicholas Ray's 360-degree pan is a 'moral fact', and that it is 'impossible to live without Rossellini'. The weakness that results from Fabrizio's bloodless idealism is contrasted with the boldness of Bertolucci's own style.

Only 23 when he made this film, Bertolucci was able to integrate influences from Rossellini, Antonioni, and especially Godard, into a personal style marked by experimentation. Sometimes the results are gimmicky, as in the shift to colour in the camera obscura sequence, and the looped embrace between Fabrizio and Gina. But usually, the innovations are effective vehicles for important ideas and feelings. In the lyric sequence at the riverside, the sweeping camera movement, greyed tones and romantic music powerfully express the sadness and beauty of Puck's feelings, which Fabrizio so callously discounts. The brilliant opera sequence, juxtaposed with the workers' parade, begins in a kind of satiric cinema verité with the arrival of the socialites. Inside the auditorium, the characters are seated according to social class. The music starts to build, preparing us for the powerful emotions soon to be experienced. When Gina's eyes meet Fabrizio's, the camera suddenly zooms back and pans round the opera house, dizzying us with the impact of her feelings. The opera house is also the location for the assassination and its re-enactment in Spider's Stratagem. But in the surrealistic scene where the townspeople sit in the square listening raptly to the opera being piped out to them, the aesthetic passion of these art lovers contrasts ironically with the cowardice and treachery that marked their behaviour under Mussolini.

In The Conformist the dazzling compositions and visual effects seem to comment on the concern for surface beauty, which parallels Marcello's desire for the appearance of normalcy. Thus, Bertolucci uses empty visuals in order to mock empty visuals, ironically making them meaningful after all. In many scenes, the drama is played out against a background that is fascinating to watch, but which has little inherent relationship to what is going on. When Marcello gives Manganiello information for planning Quadri's assassination, they are standing in the busy kitchen of a Chinese restaurant. And if that weren't enough to distract our attention, a bright light swings back and forth on the left side of the screen. In the sequence where Julia and Marcello make love, the landscapes flash by, tinted blue and gold like a romantic backdrop; dreamlike, the reflected images are superimposed on their bodies. But ironically, all this romance decorates a vicarious eroticism that results from Julia telling how she was seduced by the fat lawyer Perpuzzio; further, Marcello does not love her, but has chosen her coldly, to enhance his apparent normality. Perhaps most bitterly ironic is the contrast between the bloody assassination and the romantic, hazy, snow-covered landscape in which it takes place. The film abounds with these self-mocking, dazzling visuals.

Although Last Tango also has a highly controlled visual surface and many of the same images as The Conformist-the elevated train, the frosted glass, the Hotel d'Orsay, the façades of Paris buildings, and images flashing through the windows of a moving train-the style is less self-consciously dazzling. The visuals enhance the romantic tone surrounding Jeanne and Paul rather than deflate or distract from its emotional impact. The stylistic parody is located primarily in the character of Tom the filmmaker, played by Jean-Pierre Leaud, the actor used by Truffaut for autobiographical roles and by Godard in La Chinoise for the pseudo-revolutionary leader of the Rosa Luxemburg theatrical cell, who act out their political fantasies within the confines of an apartment. (Tom tells Jeanne he wants to name their daughter Rose for Rosa Luxemburg.)

Linked to the film buff in Before the Revolution, T om is constantly translating real life into aesthetic principle. In contrast to the Brando character, Tom is aroused to passion and violence only when Jeanne threatens to withdraw from his movie. Pretending to himself that he is doing cinema verité, he actually needs to stage and control every movement and speech. He cannot conduct his romance without the help of film allusions. When he proposes to Jeanne, a life preserver marked Atalante (the name of the Vigo film in which marriage is seen as a trap) is knocked into the water, and promptly sinks. As she models her wedding gown, he rhapsodizes as he dances into the rain: 'You're better than Rita Hayworth and Kim Novak ... than Ava Gardner when she loved Mickey Rooney.' Meanwhile, he has failed to notice that Jeanne has disappeared. As part of Paul's playfulness, he also alludes to movies. When Jeanne is about to reject him, he quips, 'Quo vadis, baby,' and later does a Cagney imitation. In their final encounter, he echoes the cliche line, 'It's the title shot, baby, we're going all the way.' Unlike Tom, who gets so caught up in the films that he loses touch with what is going on around him, Paul always transforms the allusion to a personal statement that expresses the dynamics of the specific context.

At worst, Tom offers a modern counterpart to the grotesque tango-a denial of love and spontaneity in the service of a sterile and ritualised art. At best, he offers a possibility for Jeanne that focuses on herself. Though he manipulates her into remembering her past, he gives her the gift of genuine recollections from her childhood. He rejects the apartment because it is too old and sad, the same reasons she uses in rejecting the tango ballroom. He wants to become adult, but in a creative way, saying that they must 'invent gestures and words'. He mocks his own inadequacies by defining adulthood: 'Adults are serious, logical, circumspect, hairy; they face problems,' and by admitting that his film has failed to fulfil his vision. Though his own pompous style and limitations make him ridiculous in comparison to Paul, Tom has not systematically denied the identity and needs of Jeanne as a whole human being. Yet in the Metro fight she accuses him of the very same things of which Paul is eminently guilty: 'You make me do things I've never done, you take advantage of me, you steal my time, you make me do what you want, I'm tired of having my mind raped, the film is over.'

Bertolucci develops this contrast early in the film. After Jeanne has totally abandoned herself to Paul at their first encounter, she runs to meet Tom at the station. Outraged at the presence of the film crew and his announcement that he is shooting a film for TV, she snaps: 'You should have asked my permission.' Jeanne is able to deny Tom's control because it is concerned largely with his art. But with Paul, her whole being is tyrannised in a way that activates her deepest fantasies. Thus, the pop battle in the subway provides a kind of comic rehearsal for the deadly earnest showdown in the apartment.

Despite its close similarities to the other films, Last Tango in Paris is a unique artifact -significant in its aesthetic innovation, and almost overwhelming in its emotional intensity. Perhaps the most important reason for this heightened power is the conception and development of the Brando character. Whereas the other films centred on the young men who had to choose between the romantic and the conventional, this film focuses on the exotic, dangerous lover (this time a man). In Last Tango, the opening shot confronts us with Brando at the moment of peak intensity, reeling with despair after the bloody suicide of his wife. Drawn to him like a magnet, the camera zooms in for a tight close-up of his face. This strange, intense figure also arouses the curiosity of the young girl passing by. Thus, the opening shots establish that in this film Bertolucci will explore the extraordinary pull inherent in the romantic fantasy, far stronger in Paul than in Gina or Anna. The power of the dream embodied in Brando results partly from the depth of experience and passion in both the character and the performance, giving Paul the symbolic resonance of an archetypal figure. Paul is old. His forty-five years have brought him full measure of suffering and humiliation; his hair is thinning and his waistline growing thick. Jeanne is young and naive; in the opening scene, she telephones her mother to report that she is about to rent her first apartment. When she tries to get the key, the black concierge warns her: 'The key has disappeared. Many strange things happen… I'm afraid of the rats.' Laughing wickedly, she says: 'You're very young, right?' Like a prophet, the black woman knows the truth, but tells it with a touch of madness. Jeanne hears the madness but denies the truth.

The age difference is mirrored in the choice of players. Brando is the veteran actor in the middle of a comeback; Maria Schneider is making her film debut and holding her own. Within the film, the great difference in their experience is expressed in two recollections of childhood. Though Jeanne is charmed by her early essay on cows, it is merely a dictionary exercise, like those concerning 'menstruation' and 'penis'. Paul recounts the time his father forced him to milk the cows before taking a girl to a basketball game; in the car, he suffers from exquisite humiliation when he finds that his shoes smell from cowshit.

Jeanne, like Tom, has grown up in the conventional, fairly rigid class structure of French society. Their superficial rebellion is modelled after American pop culture. But Paul goes back to an earlier American tradition of rebellious individualism. Like Ahab, he has travelled the world, pursuing his vision in the face of repeated defeat and disaster. This pattern of dangerous self-fulfilment is loved by Americans even in cartoons, where creatures are dismembered or exploded, only to get right up and begin again. Perhaps this is the American comic vision of Sisyphus; since we must continue struggling, we might as well glorify the effort. In the bathtub scene, when Jeanne tells Paul that she has fallen in love, he makes a speech that is at the centre of this vision.

PAUL: Is this man going to love you, build a fortress to protect you so you don't ever have to be afraid, lonely, or empty? Well, you'll never make it.... It won't be long before he wants you to make a fortress of your tits and your smile and the way you smell till, he feels secure enough and can worship in front of the altar of his own prick. You're alone, you're all alone, and you won't be free of that feeling until you look death in the face ... you have to go up the asshole of death, into the womb of fear. You won't be able to find him until you do that.

JEANNE: But I've found him-it's you. You're that man.

PAUL: Get me the scissors... I want you to put your fingers up my ass.

Although Paul begins by cynically denying love, he ends up affirming that it is possible-but only if one goes to the extremes of experience. Jeanne is understandably frightened by this vision, but at the same time she is drawn into the fantasy of total commitment. Through this ritual act, Paul engages Jeanne in his pursuit, as Ahab initiated his crew (the very passage read by Cesare in Revolution). Paul becomes her Moby Dick, but she is finally able to destroy her demon and escape from his power, allying herself to Tom, the Ishmael figure who records the story but can't get it all told.

Paul is a protean hero who undergoes many transformations on his quest. Originally Bertolucci sought Jean-Louis Trintignant for the role; though he is a fine actor, he could not have brought the richness of implication evolving out of Brande's past performances. We learn that Paul has been a boxer, like Brando in On the Waterfront where he laments: 'I could've been a contender'; in Last Tango, even though he loses, he makes it to the 'title shot'. Paul has also been a revolutionary in South America, evoking Brande's role as Zapata; Paul then went to an island in the Pacific and later was a journalist in Japan, reminding us of Brande's adventures in making Mutiny on the Bounty, and his roles in Teahouse of the August Moon and Sayonara. Paul has also been a bongo player and actor, linking him with Brande's personal life. Finally, Paul went to France where he married a Frenchwoman and lived on her money, the fictional situation unique to this film.

Although Paul begins by cynically denying love, he ends up affirming that it is possible-but only if one goes to the extremes of experience. Jeanne is understandably frightened by this vision, but at the same time she is drawn into the fantasy of total commitment. Through this ritual act, Paul engages Jeanne in his pursuit, as Ahab initiated his crew (the very passage read by Cesare in Revolution). Paul becomes her Moby Dick, but she is finally able to destroy her demon and escape from his power, allying herself to Tom, the Ishmael figure who records the story but can't get it all told.

Paul is a protean hero who undergoes many transformations on his quest. Originally Bertolucci sought Jean-Louis Trintignant for the role; though he is a fine actor, he could not have brought the richness of implication evolving out of Brande's past performances. We learn that Paul has been a boxer, like Brando in On the Waterfront where he laments: 'I could've been a contender'; in Last Tango, even though he loses, he makes it to the 'title shot'. Paul has also been a revolutionary in South America, evoking Brande's role as Zapata; Paul then went to an island in the Pacific and later was a journalist in Japan, reminding us of Brande's adventures in making Mutiny on the Bounty, and his roles in Teahouse of the August Moon and Sayonara. Paul has also been a bongo player and actor, linking him with Brande's personal life. Finally, Paul went to France where he married a Frenchwoman and lived on her money, the fictional situation unique to this film.

EANNE: But I've found him-it's you. You're that man.

PAUL: Is this man going to love you, build a fortress to protect you so you don't ever have to be afraid, lonely, or empty? Well, you'll never make it.... It won't be long before he wants you to make a fortress of your tits and your smile and the way you smell till he feels secure enough and can worship in front of the altar of his own prick. You're alone, you're all alone, and you won't be free of that feeling

Although Paul begins by cynically denying love, he ends up affirming that it is possible-but only if one goes to the extremes of experience. Jeanne is understandably frightened by this vision, but at the same time she is drawn into the fantasy of total commitment. Through this ritual act, Paul engages Jeanne in his pursuit, as Ahab initiated his crew (the very passage read by Cesare in Revolution). Paul becomes her Moby Dick, but she is finally able to destroy her demon and escape from his power, allying herself to Tom, the Ishmael figure who records the story but can't get it all told.

Paul is a protean hero who undergoes many transformations on his quest. Originally Bertolucci sought Jean-Louis Trintignant for the role; though he is a fine actor, he could not have brought the richness of implication evolving out of Brande's past performances. We learn that Paul has been a boxer, like Brando in On the Waterfront where he laments: 'I could've been a contender'; in Last Tango, even though he loses, he makes it to the 'title shot'. Paul has also been a revolutionary in South America, evoking Brande's role as Zapata; Paul then went to an island in the Pacific and later was a journalist in Japan, reminding us of Brande's adventures in making Mutiny on the Bounty, and his roles in Teahouse of the August Moon and Sayonara. Paul has also been a bongo player and actor, linking him with Brande's personal life. Finally, Paul went to France where he married a Frenchwoman and lived on her money, the fictional situation unique to this film.

PAUL:

Get me the scissors ... I want you to put your fingers up my ass. t the last Academy Awards, in a brief homage to the movie hero, the film clips moved from Valentino, the master of the tango, to Brando as Stanley (in A Streetcar Named Desire) and as Zapata, combining the heroic forces of sexuality and rebelliousness which are central to his role in Last Tango. Ironically, Brando was offered the Oscar for his portrayal of corrupt power in The Godfather. Perhaps his refusal was 'cutting through the bullshit' in the spirit of the hero he has come to represent in some of his finest performances-The Wild One, On the Waterfront, Viva Zapata!, Streetcar, One Eyed Jacks and Last Tango. In this way, then, Paul's character and Brando's performance epitomise the American dream of romantic heroism developed through the history of our cinema and reiterated in Brando's own career.

Bertolucci strengthens the elemental appeal of the Brando character through the style of the film. In contrast to the earlier movies, Last Tango is developed through a relatively simple linear narrative, alternating between scenes of Paul and Jeanne in their secret space and shots of their lives in the complex city outside. An element of circularity helps to intensify the experience. Between Jeanne's discovery that Paul has abandoned the apartment and the tango sequence, many scenes from the opening encounter are repeated, but in reversed order: Jeanne alone in the room, her encounter with the black concierge, Jeanne walking outside the building, Jeanne phoning Tom from the booth where she earlier called her mother, her meeting in the room with Tom (whom she tries to substitute for Paul) and her reunion with Paul under the bridge where they first met. In the apartment, Tom tells her that his film is finished. 'I don't like things to finish. You should start something else right away.' In the next scene on the bridge when she tells Paul their relationship is over, he insists: 'It's over and then it begins again.'

This circular view of experience, in which new relationships merely repeat earlier encounters, is reinforced when we learn that Jeanne's first love was also named Paul, when Paul calls her Rose as she flees from the ballroom, and when Tom suggests to Jeanne that they name their daughter Rose. Perhaps Jeanne fears that Rosa's fate prophesies her own future: both women are trying to escape the stifling influence of a bourgeois mother; both are drawn into intense sexuality with strangers in the confines of a secret room; both are loved by two men; both help to destroy Paul who loves them. In the brilliant scene where Paul visits Marcel, his wife's lover, he discovers that Rosa had bought them the same bathrobes and realises that she was trying to recreate another version of their relationship.

The fast movement and richly textured surface of the earlier films give way to other visual values. Nearly half of Last Tango takes place in the almost empty space of the apartment, which heightens the significance and intensity of what we are allowed to see. Within the apartment, the screen is filled with enormous close-ups of Jeanne and Paul, often bathed in golden light. Like the Francis Bacon paintings in the titles, the characters frequently appear alone in the empty space. While Brando recounts the painful memories of his childhood, the camera remains fixed on an enormous close-up of his face, relying entirely on the emotional play of his features. Nothing changes except the light values as Jeanne moves between him and the window; the static camera affirms his humanity as a rich source of visual value. In one of the scenes where their playfulness and intimacy are most appealing, the camera cuts to an extreme close-up of their heads and shoulders as they embrace and look at each other tenderly, When Paul says, 'Now let's just look at each other,' the camera obeys, gradually drawing back to reveal their naked bodies, entwined as they face each other. When Paul carries Jeanne through the apartment in her rain-soaked wedding dress, the shadows of the rain on the walls create subtle, flickering changes in the light. The light continues to shimmer as it reflects off the water in the bathtub scene a few minutes later. This soft, glowing light enhances the romantic quality of their relationship, but contrasts ironically with the ugly, bitter realities that he forces her to face throughout this sequence. Outside the apartment, the camera is equally capable of conveying emotional intensity. In the first encounter between Paul and his mother-in-law, the subtle camerawork reveals the fluid movement between extremes of hostile distance and emotional sympathy. The sequence opens with the image of a pile of sheets, then cuts to unidentified hands rummaging through shelves filled with objects and then to a huge silhouette of Brando's profile. When the two figures are finally seen in the same frame, they are separated by a wide space. The camera moves in for a tighter shot of the empty space, eliminating both figures and focusing on the Privé' sign on the door. The woman is first to enter the frame; then Brando steps into the image and embraces her. After this contact, we see a close-up of his fingers tapping on the table, then a huge close-up of his face, revealing that he has withdrawn once more into emotional distance; the next cut reveals the woman alone in the frame. Before any dialogue can identify this woman as his dead wife's mother, searching for a clue to the suicide, the emotional dynamics have already been expressed through the visuals. The camera's handling of space to reveal states of being is also effective in the extraordinary scene between Brando and his wife's corpse. It opens with Paul entering the darkened room; while we can just see flowers on the left side of the screen, the camera stays on the right, concealing the room's other occupant. As he spurts out his anger ('You look ridiculous in that make-up, like a caricature of a whore!') the camera begins to move to the left, revealing more of the flowers, hinting at the bed's occupant. Only as his anger changes to grief does the camera arrive at the face of Rosa. Unlike those of the earlier films, these subtle camera techniques do not call attention to themselves, heightening our emotional response without creating an aesthetic distance that would be inappropriate in the scenes involving Paul, Outside the apartment, cars, people and trains rush by, from all directions and at]]many levels; lighting is naturalistic or harsh, emphasizing the fantasy quality of the interior scenes. Moving trains are always associated with extreme action and danger. In the opening scene Brando's despairing scream merges into the sound of the train passing overhead. After their first frantic sexual encounter Paul and Jeanne return to the street like strangers, going their separate ways, as the train again passes over them. Later, when Paul buggers her and makes her repeat an obscene litany, her cries merge with the sound of a train, as the camera cuts outside briefly to the rushing elevated (the only time in the film that the outside world intrudes into their secret room). In the Métro, through the windows of the passing subway cars, we see Tom and Jeanne fighting, just as in the final desperate chase we see, through the windows of passing automobiles, Paul pursuing Jeanne. The chase takes on symbolic dimensions as we are reminded of the opening shots of Before the Revolution, where Fabrizio is running madly through the streets of Parma to see a woman. The camerawork and situation also evoke films from the French New Wave, especially the last scene of Breathless, where Belmondo is betrayed by the woman he loves (an American) and is gunned down as he runs through the Paris streets. This fast-paced style is close to that used by Tom's film crew. Bertolucci parodies their efforts to capture exuberance and spontaneity as a crewman spins around wildly, trying to point the camera at Jeanne's old nurse, who has just made an inconsequential remark; instead, his camera lights on a beribboned portrait of de Gaulle. In the tango sequence, the fast cutting also creates a sense of mockery by emphasising the mechanical movements of the dancers. Certain recurring images unite the worlds within and outside the apartment. Through- out the film, doors are opening into new experience or slamming shut in anger. Bertolucci is fascinated by frosted glass, which he uses to soften and romanticise, to distort, and to separate characters and settings. At key moments Jeanne must ride in a cage-like elevator. When she first looks at the apartment, the mood is ominous and the elevator gothic as it ascends out of camera range. When she tells her mother she is going to marry Tom, she mischievously escapes in the elevator as her mother and the camera look down with curiosity. After fleeing from Tor, Jeanne hides behind the elevator to wait for Paul, who tap-dances his way into the cage. In the final scene the desperate chase ends with the dizzying movements of a hand-held camera tracking Paul as he runs up the spiral staircase after Jeanne, who is fleeing from him in the elevator. The great variety of angles and tones makes it difficult to identify which is the real trap-the marriage with Tom or the love affair with Paul. This ambiguity is also visually expressed in the recurring image of the mysterious draped form in the smaller room of the apartment. After Paul has moved out, Jeanne vents her anger by pulling off the drape, discovering that what lies beneath is only a pile of junk. The music also has a unifying function. Unlike the earlier films, which combined jazz, pop, classical and opera, Last Tango   relies primarily on jazz saxophone music, composed and played by Gato Barbieri. The jazz is identified with Paul's values. Like the black concierge, the musicians are in touch with the kind of intense pain and suffering that Paul has experienced. An amateur at bongos and harmonica, Paul gets along with the musicians who stay in his hotel, but his bourgeois mother-in-law is threatened by their music and wants to make it stop. Like the close-ups and the film's simple structure, the unified music allows for an intense exploration within a very specific area of experience. When a shift in the music does occur, the contrast is all the more emphatic; as in the tango sequence, which presents a world from another era. Another source of the film's intensity is the extraordinary handling of sex and death, Inside the room, sex is not merely the repetition of well-known steps (like the tango), but a genuine exploration, probing into every secret corner of mind and body, but at another level, the sex is not free, at least for Jeanne, because Paul is always in control. Though she has the power to come to the room when she chooses, once there, she seems always ready for sex; but it is Paul who dictates when and how. As their game confirms, she's Little Red Riding Hood and he's the Big Bad Wolf waiting to gobble her up. He orders her about: "Get the butter,' "Get the scissors,' and finally: "I'm going to have a pig fuck you and vomit in your face, and you're going to swallow the vomit. Are you going to do that for me?' She submits adoringly: Yes, and more than that.' He's the one who lays down the rules; then he wants to change them. When they first meet in the apartment and the phone rings, she asks: 'Do I answer it or not?', establishing that she expects him to take over. This sado-masochistic sexuality reflects a dominant pattern in male-female relation- ships throughout the culture. The film explores a woman's attempt to escape it when her own pull toward it is very strong. Even though he can't relinquish his aggressive dominance, Paul tries to transcend the machismo of his "whorefucker, bar fighter, super-masculine' father and combine sex with love. Sex has been a survival technique for Paul (as it was with Gina), combating his despair and death wish; but it moves him towards a fuller commitment. Last Tango is as much about death as about sex, linking these two forces at the centre of human behaviour. In Revolution, Gina, like Jeanne, has lost her father; Agostino's suicide is parallel to Rosa's, but death was never central in the earlier film. In Spider's Stratagem, the main question is whether the father's death was suicide or murder. Suicide is also an ambiguous possibility for Anna in The Conformist, who decides to travel with her husband, and for Paul, who promises his wife's corpse that he, too, can find a way to death. In The Conformist, Marcello, like Jeanne, strikes a pose with a gun. These playful killers mock our naive image of the gun, learned from movie gangsters, cowboys and aristocratic duellists. In both films, death is dealt by someone who has sought identity from the outside, who does not have an autonomous centre. But in Last Tango, Paul is offering the vision that in order to live and love, one must look directly into the face of death.  When the movie's over, two questions haunt us. Why does he try to move their love outside the room? And, why does she shoot him? Paul's offer of love can be seen in a variety of ways. He is a sadistic chauvinist who wants to extend his control over her in order to possess her entirely. He is a crazy masochist with a record of humiliations who wants to fail again. In pursuing her for the first time, he actually gives up control, perhaps in search of a way to die. He is a romantic dreamer who has bought the fantasy of ecstatic oneness, despite all the evidence of his past experience and acknowledgment to Rosa's corpse that: 'Even if a husband lives two hundred fucking years, he's never going to understand his wife's nature.' He is a courageous idealist, always willing to try again, no matter how many times he's failed, because love is the only thing that makes life meaningful. He is willing to take any risk, because it's the only way of growing. Each identity is true; each is partial. But his vision of love must be lived out with a woman like Jeanne, whose limitations preclude the success of the brave dream.  The final question remains: why does she shoot him? In courageous self-defence, or cowardly evasion? As Jeanne well knows, Paul's preoccupation has been with himself. After the intimate scene in which they trade memories of their childhood, he turns away from her to play distractedly with his harmonica. She accuses him: Why don't you listen to me? You know it's like talking to the wall. Your solitude weighs on me. Your silence isn't indulgent or generous. You're an egoist ... I can be by myself too, you know.' While he withdraws further into his private grief, Jeanne lies face down on the mattress and masturbates, then crouches, rocking like a child. Just a few moments before, she had romantically described her childhood experience with her cousin Paul, when the two of them masturbated together; but now this defiant attempt to retain her autonomy is sad and lonely. She also hates her helplessness in the face of his control. When Paul abandons the apartment, she grieves at the loss, but is angry because he has the power to end things and she does not. Earlier, when she came to him in her wedding dress, she humbly confessed: "Forgive me. I wanted to leave you, and I couldn't. Do you still want me?' Finally, her intuition tells her that Paul is a woman- hater. She's righter than she knows, because his interactions with his mother-in-law, the hotel maid and the prostitute, as well as the fact of his wife's suicide, lend supporting evidence. Because her fantasies are not bound up with Tom's, she can resist his foolish attempts at control. But with Paul, like a trapped animal, she must kill her way out for survival and autonomy. Her final act can also be seen as fear of risk-taking and involvement, a cowardice that Paul has recognised all along. When he first dictates the rules for their meetings in the room, he asks, *Are you scared?" and she lies: "No.' Later he tells her: You're always afraid.' When she describes the man she loves, she stresses his mystery and potency, but once outside the room, Paul becomes a vulnerable middle-aged man with a broken- down hotel, instead of a glamorous American sitting on the floor in the middle of a fantasy. She is afraid of the pain and humiliation that have brought him to this point; she's too young to take it on. So, she rejects him, despite her promises to endure anything for his sake. When she sees the reality that he is now presenting, she no longer knows him. Thus, in the end, as she stands bewildered, gun in hand, rehearsing her explanation for the police, the strange phrases that she utters are both true and false: "I don't know who he is. He followed me on the street. He tried to rape me. He's a madman ... I don't know his name. I don't know... I don't know who he is.

All these interpretations of the final acts have validity in the work of art, combining forces that generate its richness and emotional intensity. But as the film's dark vision implies, they are not equally fruitful in life. Trapped in the conventions and fantasies of their culture, Tom is ridiculous, Paul is dead, and Jeanne is a killer.

Works Cited

Kinder, M., & Houston , B. (1973). Bertolucci — And the Dance of Danger. International Film Quarterly, 42 (4), pp. 186-191.

I feel so conflicted about Timmy. I loved the sweet, humble guy he was, but now he acts like the biggest diva, going to fashion shows, only hanging out with famous people. I miss the old Timmy, what I see now I don't like. And I don't like that he left earlier and didn't care about Armie, but can stop rehearsing to show his face at fashion weeks. I feel at the beginning it was only about his talent, now it's more about his fashion choices. I don't want to hate, I just feel different about him.

Me @ everyone who will read this answer : Please be kind?

Seriously, just be kind. That’s not a question, just be kind.

More important, unless you’re Nonny and looking for an answer of mine you really don’t have to read all of that. It’s mostly an observation on how Timmy’s career and image is handled right now and nothing groundbreaking at all. There a little bit about his relationship with Armie towards the end. Honestly even you, Nonny, you weren’t probably asking for an answer this long. I just love to hear myself thought, apparently. Sorry if it’s boring as hell for you 😅

I choose to believe that this ask isn’t coming from a wickedness place and doesn’t want to be mean. That’s the main reason why I’m answering this ask, instead of deleting it.

The second reason is because I’ve been contemplating the same kind of questions and the same kind of issues about Timmy for a while now. And since I’m now mostly at peace with all of it, and with the way I see him, I thought it could be interesting to share around that.

By sharing my view on how things are at this moment, I don’t want to invalidate your feelings, dear Nonny (or anyone who feels the same way). Like I said, I understand where they come from. I only hope that, by reading a different point of view, you’ll managed to feel a little bit less conflicted and maybe go back to enjoy some Timmy content like you used to. I hope I won’t sound to harsh or anything. This isn’t my intention at all.

I think the most important thing to remember is that 99% of what we see of Timmy is work. The work of an actor is not only acting. Especially when you have the ambition to become and to stay the kind of actor Timmy wants to be. Every time you see him at a public event, he’s working. Networking is working. Existing in the media eyes is working. Attending as fashion shows is working. That doesn’t mean that, in the case of fashion show for example, Haider isn’t also his friend. Of course they’re friends and of course he’s also showing support for his friend’s work. But it’s also a work relationship. That’s why it needs to be public. Haider is the one dressing him for the premieres of his movies. Haider is one of those who helped build his fashion reputation. Being seen together and publicly supporting each other work, it’s good for both of them, professionally speaking. What I mean is, when you see Tim at a fashion show or at a Hollywood party, it’s not free time for him. It’s a scheduled event on his work schedule. So when you said that he stops rehearsing to go to fashion show, that’s not entirely true. Firstly because it’s on week-end. Secondly, it would be like saying that he stops acting to do promo. Both things are work. Attending to Haider’s fashion show is also work.

Beside the London-Paris journey is hardly an effort. It would take me almost the same amont of time to go to Paris using public transports and I’m living like really close to Paris. And beside bis Timmy has seen SWM within the window of two days that was allowed by his work schedule so it’s not like he has never managed to make things work for Armie either.

For me, the problem is that Timmy has three jobs at the moment. He’s ‘one of the best actor of his generation’, the ‘most influential man in fashion’ and ‘a heartthrob for teenagers and young adults’. I’m phrasing things this way on purpose, because it shows how much weighs on him at the moment. All of this means a lot of expectations on him, a lot of judgements but also a lot of money depending on him. Even if all of his current statuts has been happening in a more or less natural way (he’s one of the best actor of his generation because he’s good at acting, his interest for fashion seems genuine and… well… He’s damn cute so of course he’s a teenage dream), my main concern is the fact that, right now, his public image is handled to encourage these three status at the same time. As long as his acting career is doing fine, it’s not a problem. If his acting career starts to be on the skids, or if one of his parts on a movie is suddenly having very bad reviews, the whole world will start to look at him and at his fashion/heartthrob statuts with different eyes.

But that moment hasn’t happened yet so I think it’s unfair to call him out on that now. He has shown nothing but hard work on the acting part of his career, and he has great things aligned for the next year. He’s a lead on the Dune remake by Denis Villeneuve, he’s starring on a Wes Anderson movie, he has that Bob Dylan thing who he seems really committed to and he’s about to do a run of a promising play. I think his choice on going back to theater, where everything is about acting, is really relevant of how focused is still he’s on acting.

I think it’s also interesting to notice the timing. For the past two years, Timmy has always been disappearing around that time of the year. So much that the Timmy drought has become a thing in the fandom. In the past, Timmy has expressed his need of disappearing and ‘going back in the mud’, both literally and figuratively, after being exposed to public eyes at this extend and for a long period of time. Truth is, I believe that Timmy is not allowed to disappear anymore. I don’t think you’re allowed to disappear for a while when Legendary Pictures is betting a lot amount of money on your pretty face. Because to disappear means media and social media will talk less about you and, in this industry, if people stop talking about you it basically means you’re dead.

So he can’t disappear. But somehow he found a way to focus on acting through theater, even if he has to do it in front of the public eyes. To be honest, I think it’s the least bad solution. I think the need to disappear for him (or anyone for that matter) for a decent period of time is really crucial for mental health and he hasn’t had this opportunity for a while, and I’m afraid he won’t have it either for the near future. Don’t get me wrong, I love that he’s doing theater again. I love having the opportunity to see him live perform I just wish he has a little bit more time to stay off the radar before going back for a whole year of craziness.

I understand that it can be frustrating to feel like most of the talks about him are about something else than his roles or his movies or his acting skills. Like I said, it’s part because of his/his team’s fault because they’ve been feeding the talk so it can keep going and going. It’s also part because the world works this way and is superficial as hell. Movie talks last a few months with the pre-promo/the premieres/the actually promo. A little bit more if you’re lucky enough to get nominations and awards. Then it becomes old news. Timmy’s persona exists every day. He’s doing and wearing new things every day and people are always more excited by what’s new. And the media will keep on using anything to have him as click-bait. It’s a win-win situation for both sides.

Except you never know when people are going to switch. One day they keep on waiting more and more of someone and the next day, they already grew tired of thi person. It’s been too much. They over did it. I sometimes use a tag that say something like « when can we say that too much is too much? » to react to what people and media sometimes do/write/say about Timmy to express this kind of feeling. Of course Tim and his team can’t control everything that is being said about him but I believe that the decisions they made in the past year? year and an half? have lead to this kind of craziness. This makes me think of that french paper, which was basically saying ‘why don’t we stop to consider Timmy as a kitten and make a fuss of everything he did and why don’t we start focusing on how he acts, because that is the real interesting thing to talk about.

Despite everything I can’t hold all of this too-much-ness against him when he’s still working so hard on his roles. I can’t blame him when I think of him giving so much on himself in that before-the-battle speech in The King that I want to go fight with and for him. I can’t blame him when I see him giving so much of himself for Laurie that he’s making me laugh and melt in the middle of a cinema room full of people when I’m usually pretty stoic in public. I just can’t blame him when I hear him talk about Dune and being so excited that he literally can’t stop himself for bouncing on his chair. I just can’t.

What I can do is not not pay attention to everything. I know it’s not an easy thing to do on tumblr and on social media when he’s everywhere and people are retweeting and reblogging the same things over and over again but if I’m not interested, I try to not pay attention. Back during CMBYN and BB era, I think I was looking at and reading everything. I’ve stopped shortly after. I didn’t read the article you’re referring to, for example. Because what’s Timmy is wearing interests me but not the shallow and irrelevant articles people will write about it. Most of them will say the same thing, that it’s Timothée Chalamet world now and us peasants are just humbly living on it. It’s going to be said over and over again until something newer, younger comes along. It’s ok. Being a teenage heartthrob will pass. Being the most influential man in fashion will probably also pass. I mean his fashion choices will probably keep on arousing interest but the world is going to catch up. Eventually.

But acting will stay.

And if in the meantime, he manages to enjoy a little bit of more superficial things and take a shot or two of confidence along the way without regretting too many decisions he made, I say why not let him do that? It’s not like we have a word to say anyway.

I understand what you mean about missing him being sweet and humble even if I disagree with you. I’m not saying that he’s not sweet and humble anymore but I felt something shift between the BB era and TK era. It’s also frustrating because it’s more a feeling than something I can prove or explain. I just don’t think he’s changed, I think he’s a little bit more guarded than before. And if I look at things from an human perspective, it makes sense?

The more people are watching me, irl or online, the more I’m going to be cautious about things I said and how I behave. The more guarded I’ll be. And in my case, we’re only talking about dozens from a few hundreds tops of people tops. Can you imagine living your life in front of millions people? I’d put some distance and some defenses between me and the world as well. He has to if he wants to survive.  

We’ve been lucky to have witnessed something as precious and rare as what we have witnessed during the CMBYN and a little bit during the BB era. It was something beautiful but it wasn’t meant to last. Not in the same kind of proportions anyway.

So I don’t think Timmy is acting like the biggest diva. Like I’ve said, what we see of his life is 99% work-related and we see about 10% of his time? Less of that?

Like for example, he’s been in London for what? 10-12 days now? And if I’m not mistaking, we haven’t seen him anywhere except from fans meeting him briefly outside of the theater and him picking up food? Whatever he’s doing, if he has a wild life or if he’s in bed at 9pm every night, he’s being discreet about it. Like he’s always been discreet about his private life, his close friends and his family. Just because he’s discreet about it doesn’t mean he doesn’t see them — old friends and people who aren’t famous. He just doesn’t feel the need to post their face on social media or meeting them in front of paparazzis.

Of course if I wanted to see him as a diva, I could. I’d look at him wearing sunglasses inside and declare that he’s a diva. When there could be thousands of reasons for him to wear sunglasses inside. I wouldn’t surprise me to learn that flashes during fashion week are painful for the eyes, especially for people with color eyes as light as Timmy’s. Especially if you’re tired. Or hangover. Or maybe he’s just thinking of sunglasses as an integral part of his outfit. Like shoes or socks or jewelry or backpacks. Or maybe he just feel safer that way and it helps his anxiety. I tried wearing sunglasses all day long at a couple of occasions when I was particularly tired and it was kind of amazing. Plus it allows you to avoid eye contact with humans which is also amazing.

I wanted to touch a little bit on the fashion topic before moving on to the Armie one. I’m guessing you’re not really passionate or fond of fashion. It’s ok. You’re allowed to and fashion and haute couture don’t do much to help themselves. Or didn’t do much. I guess things are slowly changing like everywhere else. But there are a lot of ego, of superficiality, a lot of changes and improvements that could be made. A friend who has worked for designers and still work in the fashion industry once told me that the industry wouldn’t be that bad if designers stop acting like they were saving the world with their clothes. My point is, just because something has a reputation, doesn’t mean every person who takes part of this thing has the same reputation. There are people in fashion who are truly passionate about what they’re doing and teach you things about fashion that make you look at clothes as wearable pieces of art. Because when you look closely at haute couture, you can see that fashion can take its influences in architecture, sculpture, painting and in many many others artistic disciplines. It has its own history, its own revolutions, its own movements. It tells something about our time and ourselves as a society. All of that goes without even mentioning the close relationship between fashion, high fashion and movies, which I’m sure is very interesting from a Timmy perspective. (I swear I wrote all of that before reading the Dazed itw. Like pinky swear).

At this point, Timmy could have a seat in the first row for every fashion show of every brand. He could attend to all of them, with a different outfit for each, make a show every time and take all the clothes that designers would sell their cat to see him wearing. He doesn’t. He shows up for about two designers and communicate about one more and that’s all. It’s work. Something related to his red carpet premieres. It’s fun and something he uses to express himself and his personality. I think he said something in the Dazed interview among these lines. That fashion is fun but is main focus in on acting.

Here :

“With the development of my career, I also slowly entered the fashion industry. I can feel that fashion and movies are similar to a certain extent. For me, participating in a movie or wearing a suit is about the people I work with, not the brand or money. That's why I keep working with Haider and Virgil. I also maintain good relationships with many brands, but I will not be overly tied to fashion for this. Because my career is an actor, my dream is to be an actor, and I am very satisfied and very happy to be an actor.”

Regarding of Armie… Honestly I’m kind of tired of the debate. Because I’m tired of what the debate says about how we see relationships these days, without even talking about Armie and Timmy.

I’m still trying to understand at which point we has started to need public proofs of private relationships. Likes, Facebook statuts, pictures shared publicly, couple selfies… I mean what the point? How have we become so insecure about relationships and ourselves that we’re now feeling the need to share proofs of private relationships with the whole world to believe it? And to the point that we are now projecting our own insecurities on relationships of others? It makes absolutely no sense to me.

If I wasn’t talking with/seeing my close ones for a whole year or a whole decade for whatever reason, they would still be my close ones. I believe the same thing about Armie and Timmy. Except these two idiots seems to be talking to each other all the time and seeing each other pretty regularly. But because Armie isn’t about work anymore, we don’t have to see it.

Over the past four years, they’ve done nothing but showing and saying how much they care about each other and know about each other and how much they’re still close. Timmy literally said I love you to Armie in a damn public speech. Name me another person for whom he said that. The three words, plane and simple.

If you’re willing to believe that liking each other post on social media or showing up at a public events or pose in front of photographers are better proofs of closeness that what they’ve been doing so far, that says something about how you see relationships, not about how they really are.

Loving someone is not always about rubbing it off publicly for everyone to see. More often than not, loving someone is about answering your phone in the middle of the night, because the person you love and care about can’t sleep or is on another time zone and needs you. That something you can show off on social media or get papped. And maybe we need to start to believe that it’s even more valuable exactly because of that.