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winterarmyy · 11 months

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Welcome home... Soldat? | Part I

That time when Bucky accidentally relapsed into the Winter Soldier.

Summary: Y/N had make a habit of greeting Bucky a warm 'welcome home' everytime he came back from his missions, but there was one particular day when she unknowingly greeted someone else.

Navigation: Part I || Part II* || Part III (end) || Extra

Words: 2.9k++

Pairing: winter soldier!bucky x female!reader

Warnings: implied 18+ content, implied smut, dubious con on groping reader's body, dark(?) possessive behaviour, google translated russian, our soldat is kinda cute(?) in his own twisted way, and well, basically fluffy times with the soldat.

P/S: Guys, I never planned this at all. I mean, who am I kidding? All of my fics are not planned and I clearly write things out of impulse. Therefore, this one don't have much of a story building/plot because it was born out of one scene that flashed in my head and has been replayed way to many times that I need to let it out. Anyway, I still hope you enjoy it, somehow.

Read my other works here: Masterlist

Y/N didn't know when exactly she started this habit but she swore to herself to never grow out of it.

It's been nearly 2 years since the fall of Hydra and the avenger has accepted the winter soldier under their wing. Begrudgingly by Tony, but the rest of them seemed like they're not against it.

Y/N used to be an agent from SHIELD but since the fall, she had been recruited under the avenger's programme and had been living in the tower since.

She remembered the day when Bucky first came in, he was quiet and weary all the time. Like an abandoned cat, picked up by a stranger to come to their home. And it took the whole team months before he slowly adapted.

Who knew he would morphed into a sassy, grumpy little shit, right?

Since the first day, Y/N had been making an effort to make him feel welcomed. Helped him to adjust to modern times. Though it was not regular but she's glad he came to her from time to time to ask about things.

Y/N only meant it to be casual when she greeted him back from his missions. Usually, it'll be something like,

"Oh you're back?"

"How's the team?"

"Good to see you well put together from such horrendous mission."

"God, you look like you fell from 5 flight of stairs."

"Are you even trying to fight back, Bucky?"

But one time, Bucky came back in the morning around breakfast, she wasn't feeling sassy or clever. So, instead of greeting him with playful remarks, in the glory of her messy bed hair and iron man pyjamas, she greeted him with a sleepy smile, "Welcome home, Bucky."

And that surely made the 6 foot, bulky hunk of a soldier paralysed in his spot. His ocean blues slightly widen, and his cheeks deepen in blush.

For a moment, he wondered if this is how he would feel if he had a wife waiting for him to come back from war back in the 40's. But, then again nothing can be compared to the sight he was seeing as he is now.

And Y/N didn't want to ever lose that memory of him.

Cute and flustered Bucky is a very rare sight to see. Perhaps, this was the only time she could witness it and she want to cherish it for the rest of her life.

Though Bucky never replied to Y/N's greeting, it didn't stop them from starting a whole new routine.

Y/N always knew that she had a thing for the sargent, but about 2 months from that moment, Y/N realized she was in love.

And she waited for him, every single chance she had for arrival of the team to come back. Just like she is now, at 03:45 in the morning, while scavenging for something sweet she can eat as she waits for Bucky's return.

When, she turned around she was not expecting to have her face into clashed into something, "Oww!" Y/N shuts her eyes close as she rubbed her aching nose to ease the sharp strike of pain.

For a moment there, she seriously thought she might have just bumped into some kind of a solid air that appeared out of nowhere, but when she opened her eyes, it was just Bucky who was standing rather ominously still.

"My god, you scared the shit out of me. I know you used to be an assassin but, you gotta announce yourself sometimes, man." She joked. Although she did find it impressive that he managed to silently sneak up on her with those thick, heavy combat boots he was wearing.

"Woah, someone's been having a field day kicking your ass, huh?" Y/N's eyes lingered a little longer on the wounds at the side of his temple that she didn't notice the void in his eyes.

"Anyway..." she continued as she shook of the thoughts of caressing the cut on the corner of Bucky's lip, before greeting him with a gentle smile, "Welcome home."

Bucky's unresponsiveness was nothing new to her. With the amount of silent glares and gruff eye-rolls that he had shot at her these past few months, she's used to it by now.

But, when she finally had the guts to look him in the eye, only then she noticed the underlying shift. Albeit, his signature frown was still as present as ever but, those eyes had made her questioned of the slight difference from what she recognized.

Bucky wordlessly step forward and cornered her until her back meets the side of the kitchen isle. He took his time assessing her, almost admiring the way her iris wavered in confusion.

Something is wrong.

Her guts were screaming at her to notice it but her body wasn't reacting accordingly. That's when the voice of the AI, Jarvis echoed through the walls.

"Emergency alert: Code Winter. Initiated by Captain Steve Rogers. All agent is advised..." The announcement went on based on protocol while the cogs in Y/N's brain finally moved, "Code Winter? That means..."

"...to be cautious of Sargent James Barnes; reprimand on sight however try not to engage alone. Agents is..." Jarvis voice in the background interwoven with Y/N's internal deduction, "...This is not Bucky?"

As she tried to put her own mind into perspective, trying to make herself believe that this man in front of her is not Bucky Barnes who she had been adoring over for these past few months, the soldat's hands reached the side of her neck, squeezing the softness of her flesh while his thumbs grazed the shape of her jawline.

His heavy gaze remained on hers, willing her to stay as still possible.

"Bucky...?" She called his name in hopes of triggering something, anything for within his controlled mind.

At end of the corridor leading towards the kitchen, Steve could see how the soldat had already gotten his hands on Y/N and panic strike him like lightning, he sprinted towards her as he despretely shouted, "Y/N! Stay away from--"

But Y/N was not able to render anything she heard from Steve, especially after a long silence, the soldat finally spoke, "Yes, I'm home..."

He carefully pulled her face closer to his as his lips planted on her soft cheek, "...мое cолнышко (my sunshine)" he lifted for a second just to kiss her again on her temple as he whispered lowly, "...мое Родная (my darling)"

Y/N's heart was beating madly for several different reasons. Parts of her was terrified that the soldat might break her neck within an instance, but it gradually changes into something much more confusing, a conflicted joy, when he keep on trailing his lips all over her face.

What is happening?

Both her and Steve was practically frozen in pure confusion.

Steve's mouth hanged open as words failed to form, while Y/N was unable to comprehend any sort of thoughts, let alone counter movements; when the soldat continue to whisper Russian endearments against her skin, littering sweet kisses on every part of her face, except for her lips as if he wanted to tease her.

His hands slowly travel down her back and stopped on the side of her waist, pulling her body closer until there was no space in between them anymore, before he wrapped his arms around her.

The drag of his stubble on her skin burned but it felt so good when he kissed it after.

Seconds later, Sam managed to catch up with Steve and his cautious approach fell as he witnessed the soldat's rather domestic actions towards Y/N.

Sam foolishly let his guard down as he approached with a question directed to Steve, "Is the tin man back?" That was when a bullet barely grazed the tip of his ear that then buried through the wall behind him.

Both Steve and Sam forced to stop any sort of movement as the soldat's aim was still locked towards their direction; his cold blue eyes pierced with a menacing warning, all the while posessively holding Y/N in his arms as his kisses trailed the side of her neck.

"Nope, not yet." Sam answered his own question as he waited for Steve's order.

Y/N felt like she have to do something to de-escalate the situation. After a quick deduction, and based on the soldat attitude towards her, she took the risk of believing that he would not do anything to hurt her, so she decided to play along.

Will it work though?

Well, she got to have to try for it work.

She gulped nervously before softly calls for him, "Soldat?" she looked up towards him.

When the soldat gave her his attention, she watched the loose strand of his hair fall down to his face. Her hand went up and reached for it, "How about we go back to your room and let me tend these wounds, hmm?" She cooed while tucking his behind his ear and briefly caressing his cheek with the back of her fingers.

The soldat didn't reply but instead silently process her proposition.

However, the hesitation only worried her more, so she continued to persuade, as she cautiously slide her hand, following his arm that was holding her teammates at gun point, "It'll be just the two of us. How's that sound?" She smiled warmly at him as she managed to lower it enough to grab the gun away from his grasp.

There was a glint of indecipherable emotion in his eyes when she mentioned that, which then he nodded in agreement.

"Okay then, let's go." She put the gun on the kitchen isle behind her and replaced her hand in his, pulling him towards his bedroom. The soldat did not protest to her lead, in fact her followed her obediently.

But before Y/N makes an exit, she looked back towards Steve and mouthed a reassuring message, "I got this."

The captain had all the rights to be weary but at this point, he just had to believe in Y/N's action plan. He nodded and replied, "Be safe. We'll be outside."

Along the walk towards Bucky's room, all she could think was that she can handle it and she got this under control.

But, does she?

Well, Y/N did have it under control, in terms of keeping the soldat from going on a berserk rampage but what she didn't think through was how the fuck she should handle his behaviour towards her.

After they arrived to Bucky's room, she had instructed him to strip off his tactical suit and leave him sitting at the edge of the bed, only in his short to avoid him reaching for any hidden weapons he had, all the while she went to grab the first aid from his bathroom.

Now that she almost done tending the small injuries on his face, it finally dawned to her that the soldat had her immobilized in between his legs as his hands rubbed the back of her thighs, occasionally squeezing the softness of her body in his tender grip.

His intent gaze waited patiently for her to finish and as soon as she did, he pulled her on his lap, making her to straddle on top him as he smushed his face on her chest, "Oh, Родная (darling)... I have missed you."

Her hands found her balance on his shoulders while the soldat roaming hands held her body still by the back of her waist.

It will be a lie if she said her heart didn't skipped when he confessed; even if it was still the soldat's thoughts and words but it was Bucky's voice.

The soldat pulled his other hand to play with the buttons of her pyjamas shirt, specifically around her chest area.

Part of him wanted to just rip her clothes off from her body but another part of him didn't want to. He didn't want scare her; and his precious little darling deserved to be pampered.

He had her buttons popped off; one by one, slow and almost sensual while Y/N was still in a heated debate with herself on what she should to next. She wanted the soldat to stop but god the temptation of wanting more was beyond her will power.

This is not Bucky.

She knew that. But, she had been bewitched by the look in those familiar blue eyes. So enthralled and so keen to unwrap her.

Y/N let out a low yet sharp gasp as her chest was finally revealed, "Soldat, what..." The soldat take a quick glance into her eyes, "...are you doing?" before trailing back down to the curve of her breasts, cupped so beautifully with a simple black bra.

His hands went back to grabbed her thighs as he replied, "Just wanna hold you." He leaned closer and left a lingering kiss in between her breasts, mumbling deep, " Wanna feel you, мое Родная (my darling)"

Fuck, it feels so good.

"Wanna feel you..." Y/N's grip on his bare shoulder tightened as he lips warmed the top of her right breast, "...here." An unexpected moan slipped out of her lips as the soldat latched his wet mouth on her skin, bruising it with his mark.

He groaned to the taste of her, so sweet and soft, he wanted to pull the bra off her and suckle on her nipple. He bet that they're perky and so sensitive. Bet he could make her cum just by playing with them.

He wanted to leave his bite mark around them, make them look much more prettier. But, he needed to be patient.

He brought his left hand up to hold the other side of her chest; pulling another pretty noise as the cold metal of his thumb gently stroked the exposed skin of her breast.

"Wanna feel you..." His flesh hand made its way lower and cupped her clothed sex, unexpectedly making her grind down to his hold, "...here."

She couldn't help to find shelter in the crook of his neck when he began to stroke her sensually.

This is getting out of hand.

Y/N doesn't mind to entertain him if the soldat only asked for him to hold her but it was clear that he wanted so much more than just innocent touches. Especially when he languidly rubbed his middle finger in between the slit of her pussy.

She hates how easy it was for Bucky's touch turned her on, his hands and his lips; regardless if his actions was someone else's.

This is wrong.

This has to stop.

"No... soldat." She whimpered in his ears as his finger drew slow circles on her clit, his mouth latched on her shoulder.

"I can't touch you here?" He murmured softly as he pressed harder. Even with the barrier of the cotton panties, she was so sensitive to his touch; he loves that about her.

"N-no. You can't." She choked back a moan as she replied.

God, what if he doesn't care?

What if he'll get mad and force it on her?

She can't imagine the guilt Bucky had to experience if the soldat take her right now. And all because her stupid little brain cannot comprehend a plan to stop him, all because she let the soldat touch her as freely, as willingly.

Salty tears started to blur her vision when she sniffled them back.

Much to his deperateness, the soldat pulled her away and watched as her tears spilled out, "Oh darling, don't cry." He leaned in and kiss the corners of her eyes, murmuring his words of comfort, "I hate to see you cry, мое cолнышко (my sunshine)." His metal hand slithered to her back and his palm stroked her lovingly.

"Okay, okay. I won't touch your sweet princess part, okay?" He patted her pussy one last time before reaching to swipe her tears away. "I promise." He whispered.

As much as he wanted to fuck her stupid, fill her hole full with his load; however the soldat does hold her very dear to his heart and hates to see her sad.

"Just let me hold you close, darling?" He cooed as he kissed the edge of her lips.

Y/N didn't know why but she trusted his words. Maybe it was because he was so gentle with her, that she was tricked into believing him.

She watched the soldat waited patiently for her response and when she nodded softly, he swiftly lifted her in his arms and lay her down on the bed.

He tucked himself in under the sheets with her and naturally rested his face on her chest. His fleshed arms wrapped securely around her waist and his metal one around her thighs, as he pulled her closer; almost suffocating himself in between her warm breasts.

It was like an instinct for Y/N to encircle her arms around his neck while her hands run through the thick of his hair, absentmindedly playing with the softness of it.

She almost giggle when the soldat let out a deep-throated sound of relieved sighs as she continued to massage his scalp.

As the soldat started to sail deeper into dreamland, Y/N thought that maybe this will be the only and the last time she had the chance to hold Bucky like this and she knew it was wrong to feel grateful to the soldat because had done nothing but terrible, despicable things in the past.

But when she thought about it, none of those sins was his choice to make. He was created to kill and nothing else.

But what if he had something to hold on to?

A hope to look forward to?

A person to protect?

Or a home to go back to?

Would he still be the same monster he had been before?

She have not a slightest clue.

But, what she does know that this soldat who's clinging in her arms, deserves something kind.

And she hoped that she managed to give him a sense of peace for once in his life.

Y/N nuzzled to the side of his tired-looking face and placed a sweet kiss on his temple as she whispered ever-so-softly, "Welcome home, soldat."

Part II >>

Read my other works here: Masterlist

A/N: This is possibly part 1? I'm not sure either. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments! And reblogs is much appreciated!

#winterarmyyfics #welcome home soldat au #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #winter soldier × reader #winter soldier x you #winter soldier!bucky #bucky fluff

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meow-meowo · 3 months

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Yandere Online Friend Headcannons

Y! Online Friend who's always updated on your posts! Isn't he so sweet to like your pictures even when it's from years ago? ^^

Y! Online Friend who's always available for late-night chats with you! Sure, they have work and assignments the next day but his beloved is more important than that! Don't mind the occasional groan he lets out whenever you guys call each other<3

Y! Online Friend who's that one friend that will flirt with you every chance he gets. He would say the most down bad, diabolical, horny, unacceptable, horrendous, and disturbing flirtatious comments towards you and quickly brushes them off as jokes to avoid making things awkward^^

Y! Online Friend who has an impressive memory when it comes to remembering details about your life! He'd even bring up some shows you've been interested in just so you could rant them about this and that<3 He loves to jerk off to your voice

Y! Online Friend who's always there to offer his support and encouragement whenever you're feeling down or stressed! <3 he would stay up late to chat with you and send some funny cat memes or videos to cheer you up!

Y! Online Friend who gets jealous when you talk to other people in groupchats. W̶h̶y̶ d̶o̶n̶'̶t̶ y̶o̶u̶ p̶a̶y̶ a̶t̶t̶e̶n̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ t̶o̶ h̶i̶m̶ i̶n̶s̶t̶e̶a̶d̶ o̶f̶ t̶h̶o̶s̶e̶ l̶e̶e̶c̶h̶e̶s̶?̶

Y! Online Friend who wishes he could spend time with you in person! Don't get him wrong- he enjoys your online interactions but he wants to see your beautiful face and hear your angelic voice in person too!

Y! Online Friend who writes unsent messages or love letters to you! <3 He pours out his feelings and desires onto every word and yet it remains hidden and forgotten:(

Y! Online Friend who overanalyze every messages you send him<3 He searches for hidden meanings and signs that you might feel the same way about him! He'd dissect your words, emojis and kamojis, hoping to find evidence that his feelings have a chance of being reciprocated<3 He's the type to watch those type of videos on tiktok that goes "5 signs your crush likes you back"

"And so obviously I was mad at her because of- Are you even listening Rein?"

Your eyebrows raised at him. You were in a call with your online friend Rein and telling him about this girl you hate, however your dearest friend had been awfully quiet... Aside from the occasional groans though! But you just took it as him agreeing

Suddenly, you heard some shuffling and finally his voice can be heard

"Wh- what?? Oh yeah..!! I was just uh- Doing something..." He let out a nervous cough before continuing "Please do continue" His voice was hoarse and you could hear his fast paced breath

You were a bit suspicious but still continued to the story, oblivious to the fact that the other was slowly slipping his hand back into his boxer<3

To him your voice was angelic. A symphony where he can find comfort, warmth and satisfaction.

In fact he hated talking to others until you came. Oh how he loved how you vent to him about your problems<3 he loves your voice so much that it got him to the situation he's currently in right now.

Small groans and whimpers can be heard from the room. His palm teasing the evident bulge from his boxers as you continued your rant.

His mind was going wild as of the moment—he was humiliated at himself for getting off from your voice that wasn't even hinting anything particularly sexual.

Still, He can't help but entertain his fantasy about you finding out how perverted he actually is and degrading him for it—fuck, he can't take it anymore.

He's getting really impatient...be careful<3 ^^

It's been so long since I posted anything but uhh... :3

I tried to make a full blown scene of him getting at it but I couldn't do it🤡

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frankieplsrelax · 1 year

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me wanting to use my tumblr acct as my anonymous diary

but also me traumatized abt when i used to do that on my anonymous blog and someone close to me stalked it and sc and compiled all of my MIDDLE SCHOOL and HIGH SCHOOL ANGST into one document and showed my fucking parents lmfao

the duality of man

#anyway #that was literally the worst thing to happen to me #they called cps lmfao #and everything #but like nothing changed i was still a past abused and traumatized child still going through daily abuse #and cps did nothing and my parents like literally didnt care lmfao???#like my drug use ways of physical/sexual self harm #inner demons abuse in my life w boyfriends and girlfriends and friends #all my sa ramblings drunken and high poems #like literally spilt my fucking guts out about some of the literal worst years of my life #that my parents helped create shoved in theirs and cps faces and they all did nothing #anyway i have a great relationship w this person now but yikes #but the trauma of having 6 years of every personal tumblr post on every blog of yours #printed out in one folder and handed to you #is fucking horrendous #so yeah #i wanna use my anonymity but i dont trust it anymore and its hard to get over #this is the first time ive seriously come back #like using my main blog & i have 3 side blogs like actually posting and interacting #in like 5 years #ive been here these past 5 years just making and deleting new blogs staying just close enough to know whats changing and going on #but too scared to actually embrace and i think i figured it out this time #abt me #frankiesworld

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miaonon · 3 months

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the c in NRC stands for cat

synopsis: in which heartslabyul deals with a cat loving no-magic having ramshackle prefect. (headcanons) gn!yuu

RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS

when he saw you clinging to the raccoon-cat-thing at the entrance ceremony, he did not know how to react.

normal people would panic. normal people would avoid a fire-breathing monster-cat-whatever that was spewing absolute nonsense.

apparently not you, though. although, one could say you already aren’t normal, considering the lack of magic. it wasn’t just not that much potential, you were basically in the negatives.

anyways, cats.

he got a peek under your ceremonial robes, and you were wearing..

a pajama shirt with a cat print on it. it looked horrendous.

riddle himself grew up with.. well, a cat. beastperson. so he probably would only have a surface level of appreciation for their greatness.

6/10 for cat lovers, i guess. he wouldn’t really mind, but he’d think it a tad strange. lower points because it took him a while to finally start letting grim into areas of festivity.

TREY CLOVER

this guy has siblings. like, siblings siblings. he’s used to being around people with strange interests (his brother tried to feed him a live insect once. not fun).

so, i’m sure he appreciates that your interests are on the much safer side of the wide, wide spectrum.

except when the two of you hang out while he’s baking and suddenly ace and deuce are complaining about cat hair in their tarts.

please do not bring your cats in the kitchen, thank you very much.

he’d feed your cat(s)! very sweet guy.

8/10 for cat lovers! good ascend from riddles, except two points taken from him because one, the Cat™ isn’t allowed in the kitchen and two, he just seems like a dog person to me.

CATER DIAMOND

please do not turn the great grim into a marketable plushie.

cater.

just kidding, he wouldn’t do that.

or would he?

i think he’d be a good cat co-parent! just like trey, i think he’d feed your cat when you can’t, he’d catsit while you’re in class.. etc, etc.

mostly because the posts he makes of your cat blow up, but also because he likes your cat!

the level fluctuates depending if this cat is grim or not. please do not ask me why.

8/10 for cat lovers! not bad, not bad at all! except, now there’s merch of grim- and while he’s proud of himself (this is only to be expected for the great grim! according to him), you just wish you got some of the revenue.

ACE TRAPPOLA

no.

just, no.

i think he’d look at a cat litter and go, “what’s that?”. maybe he’d even try to sniff it.

gives off grew up with a dog vibes, i don’t know why.

he goes like “EUGH” when he finds cat hair in the food you made for him.

you felt kinda bad, but he ate it anyways while complaining. you were pretty conflicted.

he’d be.. i don’t know. unremarkable. not that good, though.

5/10 for the cat lovers. no comment. this gremlin, i swear.

DEUCE SPADE

he LITERALLY isn’t any better than ace.

maybe he used to feed some of the stray cats on the way home from school when he was in elementary, but that’s probably the extent of his experience.

will also complain about cat hair. politely.

“uhm.. i think grims hair is in my soup?” kind of polite. except he’s grimacing and staring at grim like the cat just insulted his mother and all his ancestors.

he will also sniff your cat litter. and grim will laugh in the heartslabyul first year duo’s faces.

thanks, grim.

5/10 for the cat lovers.. again. he’s really just the same. he’d probably be nicer than ace, but the latter just has more experience with pets. probably. hopefully.

special guest, IDIA SHROUD!

do i even need to say anything?

you two have matching cat print pajamas. ortho would cry tears of joy if he could.

you bring your cats to ignihyde and you all hang out. <3

you, idia, and your 23 cats. it really is the life.

he paid you in genesis crystals for permission to pat one of your cats on the head.

you two have a cat lovers gc where you just send cat pictures and talk about your cats, very fun.

10/10 for cat lovers! first ever 10/10, and it’s from idia shroud? riddle is seething. great cat parent! though, he’s a bit attached. it’s okay, though, he buys your cats toys.

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tinynerdycthulu · 6 months

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people are like "sy is so oblivious, how can he not realize liu qingge is in love with him" but when i first read svsss i was woefully unaware of the sy wifebeam. yall i was reading the scene where lbh is like "shizun waits so dutifully for liu-shishu" and thinking "silly lbh, why is he so jealous? it's so funny how he thinks liu qingge is a serious threat when he only tolerates sqq because of his life debt" when lqg fought 5 years to get sqq's body i was like "wow this really showcases the dedication of cang qiong sect to its members lqg is such a tsundere he refuses to admit he actually cares about sqq as a friend" im so glad im not a 20something chinese twink bc i would be in DANGER

bonus horrendously incorrect take from me: i thought mobei-jun was gonna be the antagonist

#i was reading feynites AMAZING fic IWYWMH and thinking what an INTERESTING take to have liu qingge in love with shen qingqiu #this is not ironic btw if i was transmigrated i would be the oblivious MC #browsing ao3 and being like huh...there's a lot of liushen here must be more popular than i thought #shen qingqiu #mtxt #svsss #liu qingge #liushen

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frmisnow · 5 months

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˙✧˖ ?! — TOUCHIN' MYSELF THINKING 'BOUT YOU.

— ‧₊˚ — 🫐: "so my little girl is all grown up??"

summary. your past three years of dating were horrendous, all to cover up any living horny thought of your brothers bestfriend, how do you vent to that bestfriend about your problems without mentioning him?

note. FIRST FIC ON THIS BLOG RAH, conclusion: I LOVE CHOI FUCKING SEUNGCHEOL 🦢₊✧⋆ was listening to lana del rey while writing the first bit so prepare.....

song recs. chemtrails over the country club (lana del rey), good for you (selena gomez ft. asap rocky), older (isabel larosa)

warnings/includes. non idol! seungcheol x fem! reader, lil elements of angst at the beginning, they're both kinda obssesed with eachother in the end (whoop whoop), reader is like 5 years younger (it's not to bad), he's so bf it hurts (in the beginning), 'little girl' + 'brainless/cum slut' mentioned, nipple play + tit sucking, big dick, size kink-ish, PROTECTED SEX (YASSS) - MDNI !!!!

"i just don't now what i'm doing wrong!" what you also don't know is how you ended up here, sitting on the soft rug of seungcheols apartment with a tea in hand, his adress you solely memorized from your brothers countless times of blabbering about it, was the last thing you reminded while running from the restaurant.

he sat down with a quiet sigh onto his wide coffee brown coach, that him and your brother used to play videogames on in high school and you couldn't help but feel like a burden once again.

i mean what did you think? storming into the apartment of the bestfriend from the brother you broke of contact like five months ago: so foolish. the rain was still pouring in buckets outside, the noise it made on the glass of the large windows, very audible.

it's not that he wasn't nice about this as soon as he saw her at his front door, he ran in full speed to get her one of his thick puffy sweaters, immadetly scolding her for even thinking of walking out in the rain and the cold in the short dress.

he behaved just how any kind person would, just how any past kind-of-ish friend ended on good terms would've and that's what hurt.

seungcheol didn't know that all of these dates with all of the jerks where to drain him out of her thoughts. seungcheol didn't know that you'd cut out your brother from pictures, to leave him only on it as a teen. precious seungcheol didn't know how you'd pick out people who were kinda closed to him, so you could stay in semi-contact if you ever were to date the person. so you wouldn't feel stupid ever contacting him without your damn brother, so you wouldn't feel like fourteen again.

granted; you tried everything to forget him in any shape and form possible: you'd overwork yourself to death just to forget about that one hot ass eyebrow thingie he did to tease you as a kid, countless meaningless sex was also always an option: just to forget the printed image of what his dick might look like. and it didn't work, at all.

no matter how hard you tried, cheol would always find a way to tiptoe back into your head, "it's not your fault, you're a good person, y'know" he mumbled into the silence, his tone incredibly soft and gentle like reassuring a crying child: he was just so fucking nice it made you want to ball your eyes out.

sometimes you wish he'd murder someone or throw insults at you, you wish he'd do anything for you to hate him: but he didn't, of course he didn't.

you stand up to bring the now empty cup to the kitchen counter but he catches your wrist whilst still sitting on the coach, stopping you. "you're cold, sit down - i'll take care of it" he pushes you down onto the coach, ordering you to sit and you know he won't allow any discussion on the matter.

and it sucked, it sucked that he was so damn loveable. it sucked that he had to flash you that familar wide smile that made you want to jump out the window right onto the wet streets of seoul.

he skipped back from the kitchen quickly now with an additional blanket in hand, this usually would've been the part where you'd normally say 'no, it's fine' or some other lame and lied remark, however this time you didn't. you simply grabbed the blanket, covering your body while staring out of the windows in a slight daze.

the sound of the rain made your eyes wander back up to him as you noticed the concerned look on his face.

"are you feeling sick?" he mumbled while his eyes wandered around your face, cupping it with both hands, examining you, "well you don't seem to be hot, that's good"

cheol smiled kindly again at his own words, his hands still on your face - now without any particular reason, he gulps slightly as you notice his eyes wandering all over your face.

he's about to awkwardly pull them away when you stop him, holding his wrists firmly as you look down at the ground in embarassement, you felt so weak: like you were begging for attention.

"why did you come? don't lie, tell me why you came" his tone was still reassuring, his fingers now lightly brushing against your cheeks, your gaze remaining

"the date just sucked and i- i didn't know where to go, i didn't want to be home alone and your adress was the first thing i remembered, i'm sorry i know i'm wasting your time" the words flew out of your mouth instantly however that wasn't the only reason and you both knew it.

you needed a place to stay and a person that could comfort you and you'd always found both in him.

his thumb kept stroking your cheek in a repeating motion, if you could've you would've curled up in his lap and held onto his shoulders like you did when you were little. why does everything become so complicated when you're an adult?

"you'll stay the night, it's midnight, you're fucking freezing and it's raining outside - i'll show you the bedroom" he said with so much casualty in his words, like it was the most normal thing in the world, you appreciated him making this feel as 'normal' as he could.

"no, i can take the coa-" he fell into her words, "no" his voice for the first time this evening stern, allowing no counter arguments.

seungcheol took both of your hands, helping you stand up from the coach, guiding you incredibly gentle until he added, "don't worry about it, i'm glad you came to me"

he was so sexy goddamnit.

it just wasn't fair, it wasn't fair that you had to innocently sit on his bed in his clothes watching him undress and pretend you aren't watching and quite literally drooling over the way his muscles flexed with just simple movements.

if you could you would kiss each little ounce of skin on his body and you'd gladly do it over and over again.

fourteen-year-old you would sell her soul for this, deep down you wanted to jump onto him and rip off his remaining clothes.

it was so funny, he was painfully unaware and oblivious of the effect he had on you yet when he turned around now his bare back shown to you as he scretches to get a shirt from the closet you let out a little sound of surprise.

"since when do you have tatteos?" your voice mumbled almost like a self thought to yourself but audible to him, about the size of half a hand a black tattoo grazed his upper back.

he turned around, man tits and abs all out a cheeky little grin on his face almost like he's happy you noticed, "i got this second year, college so like almost eight years ago-" he pauses, eyebrows slightly furrowed in light confusion and shook, "wow, time really does fly, does it?"

"it really does" your voice tone changing for a split second to something a bit more nostalgic as you stood up from the bed, hands reaching out naively towards the tattoo, "... can i?"

seungcheol nodded in response as your fingers began lazily tracing the outline of it, "do you have more?" he shaked his head, his chest rising and falling faster than before but maybe you're just envisioning things, "you need to stop" his voice now also changed, sounding almost hoarse?

you didn't realize you were making him nervous at all, he never seemed the typ of guy that could have any sort of reaction when it came to such simple and tender touch.

"i'm sorry if i'm making you uncomfortable, it's just really pretty" you explained while you looked back down at your hand which looked unusually small in comparison to his back, "the tattoo or something else?" he answered faintly and you felt practically caught in the act yet you rested your head on his broad back, basically on the tattoo in response, "both" where did you get the sudden courage from?

from one minute to another, you grew rather bold as your hands move from his tattoos to his little moles, moving between them like a map and even that turned to a point where you started to massage his back making him groan.

in a sudden swift motion, your face was once again cupped, his hands cold, his own face inches away from your own as he muttered, "why are you doing this to me? why are you making it so hard?"

you froze in place once he took your face in his hands and your breath caught in your throat, his voice became quiet and his eyes shifted over to your mouth before your eyes met once more.

it took you some time to process what he said, your mind running wild as you tried to respond to what he just asked.

"i need you, been needing you, that's also why i'm here," you murmured muffled as a slow smile creeped up on his face, there was almost like a hint of relief in his expression, "how long have you been needing me for?" his tone mocking in a sexual way.

your gaze shifts to the floor, hiding from his praying eyes which just won't leave yours, "since fourteen"

"and how old are you?"

"you wanna embaress me," as you added "you already know it"

he chuckled, "oh, but i want my little girl to tell me" his hands wander back to your face, lifting it, a silent command for you to look up to him.

"your little girl? I'm 5 years younger then you, it's not the end of the world" you protested till after about 20 seconds adding weakly, "23"

"so my little girl is all grown up?" his hands leaving your face, tracing your collarbone till travelling to your tits, circling around them meanwhile maintaining eye contact like waiting for an answer.

"so pretty, so pretty for me" a slow, knowing grin tugged at the corners of his mouth as he slid his cold hands underneath the shirt he gave you earlier, taking a hold of your tits, "wanted to touch these for so long"

you raised your eyebrows, breath hitching cause you just had to ask, "since when?"

his fingers squeezed both tits, his gaze seeming a little hazy as it took him a few seconds to register what you just said yet he was quick to finally answer, "ever since you stopped talking to me, since the last time we talked on the phone, all i've had was you on my mind, i missed your voice"

"i touched myself fuckin' thinking 'bout you it would've been wrong if if i clocked in every now and then to pretend we're good old friends"

as you were responding he traced your nipples, making your finally sentence come out strained and breathy yet seungcheols actions paused when he heard what you forced out.

that tiny little smirk slowly but surerly found its way onto his face admist one raised eyebrow, the thing he did that would make young you always go feral, "how many times are we talking about here?"

looking down, you shamefully avoided his eager eye contact, it was so fucking embarrassing - it was embarrassing how you could feel your pussy fuckin throbbing from a little tit touching, it was embarrassing how many times you imagined his fat cock pounding into you when you were fucking his friends, it was embarrassing how many utter times you solely thought of him during other sex.

"that's what i thought" he grinned, "hands up" you did as he told when cheol slid of your shirt completely, simply the sight of your bare chest making him groan.

he wrapped his hands around each of the both, his big veiny hands covering them up entirely, his fingers moving to your nipples pinching both individually, "bet you used a dildo every fucking night, praying that it was gon' be me one day huh"

you moaned in response, shifting and arching closer to him - closer to his damn hands, seungcheol groaned while he himself motioned even nearer to your boobs, his mouth enclosing around your left hardened nipple, straight away beginning to lick your soft and sensitive flesh.

your hands ran through his hair, staying locked in them, your knuckles visable due to the sensation. you being a bit lightheaded leads to the both of you stumbling back slightly, ending up on his large bed his hands now running all over your body - touching, squeezing anything he could reach, his mouth never leaving your chest.

"so pretty," the sound of his rough voice mixed with little mewls muffeled as he sucks on the precious skin, "so fucking pretty"

you press your hips forward shamelessly, craving any form of friction, his heavy erection pressing against you directly as you groan deeply at the feeling of his skilled tongue working wonders on your tits combined with his cock against you, fabric being the only thing seperating both.

"need you," you pressed out, your own whimper cutting you off "in me, need you, inside"

"why? i'm not in a rush" his tone was still commanding yet his voice was as hoarse as ever like fighting with his inner self of just giving in.

"cheolie please" that sweet little nickname - his favorite, he liked so much, she used to call him that always.

cheol jolted his head, looking up to the ceiling, grunting loudly, "always have to make everything so hard for me"

in one swift motion, his oversized shorts that he gave you were slipped of you and he rested his hands on her ankles dragging you a bit closer to him, "gotta check if this pussy is ready for me, k?" he looked back at you, expecting a nod as you did so, much to your unease he spread your legs wide, inspecting and checking with two fingers even curling making you lightly squirm.

almost like sensing cheol was about to deny and say you weren't ready, you rapidly exclaimed: "can take it," when seeing his unimpressed face expression adding, "i swear, cheolie, promise"

deep down he liked it when you were vulnerable to him like this, when he saw you as something he could control and gently toy with instead of someone he once considered a friend. he liked the sight of you like this, so exposed, so fragile, so small - it made him want to protect you, it made him want to make you his but most importantly it made him want to fuck you brainless.

his hands ran to his pants, removing them of himself swiftly yet almost lazily like he had all the time in the world as if you weren't openly struggling to not cum on the spot, undone - just upon seeing the sight of his cock.

your lips slightly part, eyes a bit wider and for the first time in your sex life you actually wonder if you can take dick.

"what, are you suddenly unsure?" he moves closer to you, his fingers roaming through your hair like a soft caress contradicting to anything he said in the past five minutes, the cocky grin stays on cheols face so you know that he's still good old mean him.

"don't you think you'd look so pretty on it? don't you need my cum deep inside you? didn't you pray every fuckin' night for my cock to scretch you out? don't you? mmh" his tone incredibly mocking and dripping of pure sarcasm, his body now towering over you as his hands slide on a condom from his night desk over his length.

"che-" your words were abrouptly cut of by his dick slipping into you, so easily - the wet mess that you were already additionaly helped him slide in smoothly.

"so needy for my cock" he was about half way through filling you up and you dreaded the actual full fit cause you already felt him so deep inside. his thrusts were slow at first almost careful like testing the waters but surely picked up pace whilst mumbling: "so proud of you, look at you- taking it so well"

it felt like you had water in your ear, no thoughts in your brain as the only sounds you heard were the wet skin slapping noises echoing through your mind.

he pulled out just for a split second just to slap into you even harder, balls deep to the point where you could feel him probably somewhere in your stomach, incoherent blabbering and pleading coming from your direction.

"you're just a brainless little slut, who doesn't have anybody satisfying her, a brainless little slut who'd get on her knees for anyone just to forget about my dick, a brainless little slut who kept all those horny thoughts to herself for nine years just to spill them out the second i asked, that's you, isn't it?"

you moaned weakly in response as he mercilessly continued to pound into you, "fucking made for this, made to take me in every way there is"

it was truly pathetic, how you could already feel that tingling feeling in your tummy signalising that you were close and it was pathetic how his words turned you on, how they made you lift your hips up further how they made you whimper every time.

"gonna train you into my own little cum slut," his breathing irregular practically panting yet he's serious, "so close, cheolie fuck i-" his hands wander back to your tits while maintaining the same pace of hip movement, squeezing and kneading the delicate skin, biting his lips.

you clench around him, hips pushing forward one last time as you come, a mix of cursing and unsensical nonsense leaving both of yalls mouth during as he jolts his head back coming at the same time.

after about a minute later, seungcheol pulls out carefully, his hands cupping your face, looking at you sweetly almost innocently like he didn't just fuck the living brain out of you.

"are you okay?" you nod along, smiling lazily, your arms wrapping around his tough bare chest pulling him closer.

he returned the hug, wrapping his buff arms around you completely, kissing the top of your head softly, "i wasn't to mean, was i?"

#choi seungcheol #seungcheol x reader #seungcheol smut #seventeen seungcheol #scoups smut #scoups #scoups x reader #svt fanfic #seventeen fic #svt x reader #svt ff #scoups fluff #scoups imagines #scoups fanfic #seungcheol #BARK BARK BARK #I'M GONA FERAL #FINISHED THIS TO LATE I'M BRAINDEAD

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ukrfeminism · 4 months

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Tens of thousands of sexual assaults and incidents have been reported in NHS-run mental health hospitals as a “national scandal” of sexual abuse of patients on psychiatric wards can be revealed.

Almost 20,000 reports of sexual incidents in the last five years have been made in more than half of NHS mental health trusts, according to exclusive data uncovered in a joint investigation and podcast by The Independent and Sky News.

The shocking findings, triggered by one woman’s dramatic story of escape following a sexual assault in hospital revealed in a podcast, Patient 11, show NHS trusts are failing to report the majority of incidents to the police and are not meeting vital standards designed to protect the UK’s most vulnerable patients from sexual harm.

Throughout the 18-month investigation, multiple patients and their families spoke to The Independent about their stories of sexual assault and abuse while locked in mental health units.

Rivkah Grant, 34, was targeted by an NHS staff member and sexually abused, while Stephanie Tutty, 28, made similar allegations. Alexis Quinn, a former GB swimming star, alleged she was sexually assaulted twice – once when she was forced to sleep on a male ward and a second time on a mixed gender ward.

Dr Lade Smith, president of the Royal College of Psychiatrists, called the findings “horrendous”, while shadow health secretary Wes Streeting said it was a “wake-up call” for the government.

Among the key revelations were:

At least 19,899 sexual incidents were reported across more than 30 NHS trusts between 2019 and November 2023 – including staff assaults on patients and patients assaulting other patients

The figures suggest that just 982 – less than 5 per cent – of sexual incidents reported to hospitals were referred to the police over the same period

800 allegations of rape and serious assaults on women

Mixed sex wards, despite being banned a decade ago, are still in use across NHS mental health care with more than 500 reports of sexual assault since 2019

Just six out of 50 hospitals were able to prove they were meeting NHS standards aimed at protecting patients from sexual harm

Dr Smith told The Independent: “There is no place for sexual violence in society, which has a profound and long-lasting negative impact on people’s lives. Today’s horrendous findings show that there is still much to do to make sure that patients and staff in mental health trusts are protected from sexual harms at all times.

“It is deeply troubling to see that so many incidents in mental health settings go unreported.”

Mr Streeting said: “It will appal every decent person that these horrific crimes were committed against patients at their most vulnerable. The fact these have taken place in the NHS is chilling.

“Very serious questions must urgently be asked of hospital leaders, who have to explain why the vast majority of these incidents were kept from the police.

“The Conservatives promised to end mixed-sex wards in 2010, yet soaring numbers of patients are treated alongside patients of the opposite sex. Patients often find this humiliating and, as this investigation shows, it leaves women in particular vulnerable in hospital.

“The government must treat this investigation as a wake-up call and act against the soaring number of mixed-sex wards in the NHS today.”

Dame Vera Baird, the former victims’ commissioner, said attacks by people who were supposed to care for the vulnerable were particularly troubling.

“The results of this investigation are a national scandal,” she said. “The [figures on assaults] from staff on patients are the height of concern because it may mean that there is insufficient scrutiny and insufficient vetting of people coming into hospitals.

“These people are going to be let loose on the most vulnerable of people, whose testimony may not be believed when they say something.”

Sharon Brennan, from the patient charity National Voices, said the examples uncovered by The Independent were among the ”worst breaches of trust we have heard of”.

Our latest exposé comes as the Healthcare Safety Investigation Branch prepares to launch a national inquiry into mental health care in England following a series of reports by The Independent over the past year.

Freedom of information figures show that patients are at risk from staff in numerous hospitals, with more than 300 incidents reported on patients over the five-year period.

Recalling her experience, Ms Grant told how she was sexually assaulted by an NHS staff member at Chase Farm Hospital in north London in 2016. Staff initially ignored her, she claimed.

She was then made to sleep in the same room the following night, she said, even though a complaint had been made to the trust and the staff member suspended.

Ms Grant says her trauma was made worse when she was then moved to a mixed-sex ward, making her too scared to leave her room due to the male patients outside.

“I have struggled with trauma since then and I’m scared of asking for help [from mental health services],” she said. “When I’m feeling bad, I don’t know where to turn to. You believe when you’re in a hospital, you should be safe. I’ve learned that there is no safety in mental health hospitals.”

Her attacker was convicted in June 2017 following a police investigation. North London Mental Health Partnership, which now runs Chase Farm Hospital, said it was “deeply sorry” for what had happened to Ms Grant and insisted the safety of its users was their top priority.

In another alleged case, Ms Tutty, a mother of two, told The Independent her harrowing story after seeking help from Essex mental health services having been raped in her youth.

Instead of getting treatment, she claims she was subjected to five months of horrific sexual abuse by a staff member.

A year later she says she was traumatised again after being admitted to another Essex-run unit, where a security guard sent her sexually explicit text messages, seen by The Independent. The police later said there was insufficient evidence to prosecute in relation to the alleged sexual abuse.

Essex Partnership University NHS Foundation Trust, which is currently facing a public inquiry into 2,000 patient deaths, refused to respond to questions from The Independent when asked about the serious allegations.

Our investigation shows at least 500 sexual assaults and incidents have been recorded on mixed-sex wards or mixed-sex communal areas within trusts since 2019.

Ms Quinn, a former swimming star and teacher, was admitted to Littlebrook Hospital in Kent in 2013 after seeking support from mental health services following her brother’s death.

Within hours of her admission, she claims she was sexually assaulted by a male patient after being placed on an all-male ward.

Ms Quinn immediately ran to tell staff who tried to send her back to the ward where her attacker remained, she claimed. Distressed and panicked, she was restrained and then placed in solitary confinement.

Ms Quinn said: “You know, I blame the system for putting me in that situation, for not safeguarding me – this is a systemic problem. I thought it was just me, but it’s not just me, it’s thousands.”

The trust eventually apologised. However, within months she was placed in peril again in a mixed-sex ward, where she alleges she was the victim of a second assault.

Kent and Medway Partnership Trust, which runs the hospital, said it continues to offer its “sincerest apologies” for the “unacceptable behaviour” she experienced in its care, and that it was fully investigated and acted upon at the time.

As part of our investigation, The Independent and Sky News uncovered thousands of allegations of sexual incidents, ranging from abuse and rape to sexually inappropriate behaviour or language across more than 30 out of 52 NHS mental health trusts since 2019. The scale of the scandal is likely to be even worse as figures do not include private hospitals where hundreds of NHS patients are sent to each year.

Among them was Nima Cass Hunt, who was groomed and abused in a Huntercombe Group hospital when she was 16. Her abuser, care worker Marcus Daniell, was jailed for 11 years in 2020 for his crimes. Ms Hunt warned that under-staffed mental health services are failing to protect patients.

“Nobody at the hospital looked or listened to obvious signs,” she said. “There is something terribly wrong with the protocols that intend to keep patients in mental health hospitals safe when patients are still exposed to sexual abuse despite obvious signs, indicators and even disclosures.” Former owners of the hospital, Eli Investments, were approached for comment.

Melanie Leahy told The Independent that staff in Essex failed to investigate her son Matthew’s claims of rape while he was an inpatient in 2012 – he died just two days later.

“It makes me sick,” she said. “I believe this incident led to the loss of his life. I believe this was the straw that broke the camel’s back.”

A report in 2019 by the Parliamentary and Health Service Ombudsman found staff failed to take appropriate action in response to his allegations. The trust said in response it offers its condolences for Matthew’s death.

Meanwhile, in 2014, Gaia Pope, who was a victim of rape in her youth, reported sexual harassment while in a mixed-sex ward at Dorset NHS Hospital but staff failed to issue any safeguarding alerts.

Her cousin, Marienna Pope-Weidemann, said: “I believe the failures [to address her concerns] directly contributed to her death later that year. They took absolutely no action and they discharged her 48 hours later without any [support].”

Dorset Health Care chief executive Matthew Bryant said the trust acknowledges it should have done more to make sure Gaia felt safe in its care and ensure she felt her concerns were taken seriously.

In 2020, after the Care Quality Commission raised national concerns over sexual abuse in mental health services, the NHS set up guidelines under its “sexual safety collaboratives”.

Despite the known risks, NHS trusts are not meeting their requirements of the standards to this day, with just six hospitals providing evidence they have met the collaboratives’ guidelines.

Gemma Byrne, Policy & Campaigns Manager at the charity Mind, said the investigation’s findings were “horrifying” and called for greater accountability for trusts who are failing to address such serious sexual safety incidents.

Professor Charlie Brooker, one of the few academics in the UK who has examined the relationship between sexual assault and mental illness, told The Independent and Sky News there should be an inquiry into sexual safety in mental health wards.

He said: “It would be fascinating to see how many people came forward and wanted to give evidence. I won’t be at all surprised if it wasn’t several thousand.”

Professor Brooker said a big factor in the development of mental illness is sexual trauma, adding: “What is happening to these vulnerable people, these vulnerable women, is retraumatisation which seems to be occurring in an environment where they're [meant] to safe. They end up worse than when they came in.”

Eli Investments which owned Huntercombe Group said it was “saddened” by the allegations and regrets that the hospitals owned by the group failed to meet standards expected for high quality care.

NHS England said sexual assault would not be tolerated and said it was rolling out better reporting mechanisms and training for staff as part of its new NHS Sexual Safety Charter.

It said all trusts will have to appoint a domestic violence and sexual assault lead. However, it did not specify how it would monitor and hold trusts to account who were failing to meet its new guidelines.

The Department of Health and Social Care said NHS organisations have a responsibility to protect both staff and patients.

If you need to seek support for anything sexual that happened to you without your consent you can call Rape Crisis on 0808 500 2222, 24 hours a day, every day of the week.

#Articles #health #MVAWG

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