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mallowstep · 3 years

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the Detailed explanation to why the four stay in riverclan as written in an ao3 comment

okay, onto the more au specific thing: why do they remain in riverclan?

so this is a very understandable question, especially given asir. however the circumstances of this au are very, very different from canon in the way it applies to everyone staying in riverclan. there are several key reasons, i'll go through all of them in roughly order of increasing complexity.

okay reason one: feathertail and mistyfoot are not in physical condition to move clans. all of what i'm going to discuss is going to come up in feathertail's second fic ("i didn't care much how long i lived"), but especially that feathertail just — she could not make the walk to thunderclan; she wouldn't trust anyone other than mistyfoot to carry her (something mistyfoot couldn't do); both feathertail and mistyfoot would struggle to let cinderpelt provide adequate medical treatment. and by the time feathertail is healthy enough to travel, mistyfoot is very close to kitting, and travelling then would be a terrible idea. then the kits are born, and now they're too young to move, etc., and it basically goes on like this for a while.

reason two: mistyfoot and feathertail both are attached to riverclan as an identity. this one is a little harder to explain concisely, but i'll do my best. mistyfoot uses riverclan-as-an-identity as a source of comfort for both her and featherpaw in "the blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine" repeatedly. that doesn't mean they're attached to the cats in riverclan (the opposite, really — mistyfoot goes as far as saying "the Moon loves us" instead of "the Moon loves us all", because she can't imagine that the moon actually favours the cats in riverclan), but mistyfoot holds very tightly to the idea that they are riverclan, and that can't be taken away from them.

so even though the cats in riverclan are bad, riverclan as a concept and clan is good, and mistyfoot doesn't want to leave that. feathertail doesn't either, but even if she did, that mistyfoot wanted to stay would be reason enough for her to want to stay. again, i'm working on a fic that will cover this from the pov of the characters, but one riverclan idea is the relationship between leader and deputy. to paraphrase, the leader is riverclan, but the deputy is the one who deals with the cats of riverclan. so when leopardstar asks mistyfoot to be deputy, mistyfoot hears, "i can't be a good leader to my cats," basically.

(related: mistyfoot and featherpaw are treated the way they are because they are part thunderclan. being in thunderclan means they will constantly be reminded of that. and so on, there are a lot of subtle reasons it would be a bad idea, from goldenflower and bramblepaw to the fact that thunderclan sleeps in one den, something that would absolutely terrify feathertail.)

reason three: the idea of leaving riverclan literally does not occur to feathertail. this is where i think — comparisons to asir will lead you most astray. the reason thunderclan is a valid option for feathertail (internally) is because she was there. she knows it is safe, that they would treat her well. but feathertail and mistyfoot don't have that experience. yes, their brothers come back, but hearing about something and living through it are not the same thing. so even when offered, thunderclan as a safe place does not make sense in feathertail's head.

(as for mistyfoot, thunderclan has been her enemy for her whole life. riverclan and thunderclan are long rivals. so she has the same issue with the idea, albeit for a different reason.)

but feathertail has barely left riverclan camp. she's been through all the territory, of course, and i don't have a specific timeline for how long she trained with mistyfoot before tigerclan, but it was not very long. maybe half a moon. so her entire life has taken place in riverclan camp. (barring her birth and time she absolutely does not remember in thunderclan when she was a newborn.)

so what happens, sometimes, when you're in that kind of environment, when your home/safe place become a place of cruelty becomes safe again is that — even though you might do better if you left, you don't have the ability to recognize that. you don't have the knowledge to realize that. you have never lived somewhere else, so how could it possibly feel different from this? feathertail's entire life, good and bad, has been in riverclan camp. how do you leave that?

there's all sorts of internal motivations that happen, from, "i can't conceptualize not being here" to "i don't want to lose my home to my abuser", but — in order for "let's go live in thunderclan" to sound like a good idea, feathertail would have to know that thunderclan was safe (she doesn't), be willing to leave riverclan (she isn't), and let go of everything she's ever known (something incredibly hard to do).

reason four: the four will stay together no matter what. this last one is actually pretty straight forward, but it draws from the others. if we start with feathertail: neither mistyfoot nor stormheart would be wiling to leave feathertail. so if feathertail wants to stay, they stay. if she wants to leave, they leave. and stonefur isn't willing to leave behind mistyfoot or stormheart. so if they follow feathertail, he follows feathertail.

and this is true no matter who you start with — none of the pairs of feathertail & mistyfoot, stonefur & mistyfoot, and stonefur & stormheart are willing to part with each other. the final pair is stormheart & feathertail, but that's one-sided. stormheart won't leave feathertail, but feathertail doesn't really care about leaving him (yet).

since that's the one way reaction, it all ultimately falls onto what feathertail wants to do. (feathertail, naturally, considers what mistyfoot wants, who considers what stonefur wants — but what stonefur wants is what mistyfoot wants, and what mistyfoot wants is what feathertail wants, at least as far as what they epxress to one another.)

so because the idea of leaving riverclan doesn't make sense to feathertail, it doesn't make sense to the other three.

okay, that was so much, if you read all of it, i hope it was satisfying? like i said, all of these ideas will come up in future fics (although reasons 1 and 4 are implied), so you know — i think when i say it in words, it doesn't always make sense. because it's a very specific reason why feathertail...almost can't leave, and if you're not viewing it from the pov of "i've lived in one place my entire life, the best and worst things have happened to me here, everything i've ever known, good and bad, is here," it doesn't seem very sensible. but from that pov, leaving isn't an option.

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fuckyeahisawthat · 4 years

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Primo is such an interesting character when it comes to violence, because at first glance he seems chaotic, but he has very understandable patterns and there is a logic to what he does.

There are times when he’s clearly decided to murder someone and he’s thought about it and planned for it in advance; in these circumstances he’s calm and methodical and almost relaxed about it. Would he still have killed Berto if he had accepted the lower offer for Paul? Who knows, but we know as soon as Primo puts that money back without arguing that some shit is about to go down, and he has the rifle so clearly he planned for this eventuality. In these circumstances he is quite uninhibited about doing violence but he’s very focused and goal-oriented; you know he’s gonna do what he planned to do and then be done with it.

Then there are times when he gets angry and anyone in his path who mildly annoys him might get murdered. And in these cases his violence is not always targeted at the person who made him angry in the first place, although there’s usually something that draws his attention to a specific person. So after the first insulting ransom offer, we see him lash out at Angelo for saying it’s like buying cattle. The actual target of his anger is (regrettably) not available for a beatdown and Angelo’s right there and said something that pissed him off. After Paul and Angelo escape he lashes out at Dante, which is not completely unmotivated--this guy clearly knows he fucked up and Primo is gonna be pissed--but also Dante just happens to be the person who’s still there for Primo to direct his rage at.

The reason he’s so scary in these moments is that you never know how far he’s gonna go. Sometimes he just needs to shake someone and hit them once or twice; sometimes he is ready to literally burn someone alive. We don’t know if he actually would have done that if he hadn’t been interrupted, or if he would have thought the better of it and stopped himself, or decided the scare was more useful than the kill, but we definitely feel like he could have done it.

But, also, we see that he can get control of himself in the middle of these moments. Sometimes he just needs to discharge the pent-up anger once and then he can control it, like when he puts hands on Don Salvatore in the barn even though that’s a terrible idea, but then the next time you see him want to do that, he’s able to control himself enough to go kick a bucket instead. (Despite what it looks like I think both Primo and Leo are exercising a huge amount of self-control in that scene; it is not easy to get provoked like that over and over and not fight back in some way.)

Sometimes he needs to redirect the anger; in the farmhouse you can sort of see him think “eh, you’ll do” about the old man before he kills him, then he’s done; he walked in ready to kill two people and that’s what he did. I would imagine that interacting with him in these moments is roughly equivalent to handling a live grenade, because it is extremely easy to say the wrong thing and have him end up directing the violence at you. Leo is...really the only person we see being able to pull it off.

Sometimes he is able to talk himself down on his own; despite telling Paul he’s going to kill him when the ransom doesn’t show, and literally having a gun in his hand to do it, by the next morning, Paul is still alive.

FWIW, I think he does learn to keep his anger in check a bit better as the series goes on, once it becomes clear to him that no one will be able to control this situation to his satisfaction but him. He’s totally ready to kill Paul in episode 4 after the first ransom offer; by episode 7 he’s able to restrain that impulse enough to think things through and ask for help, which I think is a pretty significant move on his part. But still, someone who has some control over their suppressed rage but not total control is a very scary person to be around.

(I imagine he’s probably pretty unsettling to like...hang out with, because even when he’s relaxed and shooting the shit with you, you know that violence is there under the surface. But also something-something about how deliberately cultivating an intimidating persona is a great way to convince himself his very obvious social isolation is entirely his choice...but that’s a whole other essay.)

But also. As calculating and as volatile as he can be, his violence still has an underlying logic that’s intelligible when he is using it to make someone do what he wants. There are rules that can be learned. Do this and I’ll hurt you. Do that and I won’t. If you stray outside the rules you will get hurt or killed, but if you follow them, he won’t go out of his way to hurt you just because he can. And whatever the rules are, he is generally consistent about them; he doesn’t switch them up for no reason. And he seems to take promises very seriously; if he says he will do something he’s not going back on his word. In his own warped way, he has a sense of ethics and...integrity? For a given value of those words.

I think there are plenty of times he finds violence satisfying. But we never see him hurt people just for fun. In a series with an endless number of parallels between the two families, it’s notable that he never has a scene equivalent to Old Paul siccing the dogs on the gardener for a laugh. Primo will tease people and he’ll threaten them and I do think he is...very aware of the fact that most people who know him are scared of him, and he uses that a lot to get what he wants. But he doesn’t hurt people for entertainment, just because he can.

This might seem like a minor point for a character who kills like 10 people on screen. But it’s a very important quality for a character who’s going to have life-or-death power over our other main character for the majority of the story. And it’s what allows the interactions between Primo and Paul to have this weird mix of violence and humanity. Primo will point a shotgun at Paul’s face and he undoubtedly does things to him that are traumatic, but he also won’t just...fuck with him for no reason, just because he has all the power in the situation.

Like, he is genuinely quite scary and you really do not want to be the person who catches his attention when he’s angry, but he’s not sadistic, and he has his own internally-defined rules and boundaries, and it all feels organic to what we know about him and the world he lives in. Which is really, really hard pull off, and Trust does it so well.

#trust fx #primo nizzuto #violence #long post

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meetmeatthecoda · 3 years

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I absolutely ♥️ADORE♥️ Scripted and would love to read your director’s commentary for it!

Oh, anon!! 😍 I'm SO THRILLED that you loved Scripted so much, that makes me so happy!! 🥰 Especially that you loved it enough to want to read my "director's commentary" (that phrase makes me laugh, you'd think I created a feature length film all by myself 🤣), so I think I'll skim through the fic - it's been a while since I re-read it - & make a bullet-point list of any special BTS info I can think of 😊 Anddd I'll also put it under a read more cause you know me, I never use one word when one hundred will do 😂

So, the fic itself was inspired by the ending of 5.08 where Liz wakes from her coma to Red reading to her in an armchair as he had been for the past 10 months, it's fine, I'm fine but she still has a ventilator in so she can't talk & instead has to write "how long?" on a piece of paper & her handwriting is super shake-y bc her muscles are so weak (I think Red even helps her hold the pen? It's clearly been a while since I re-watched the ep whoops but ugh, be still my heart.) For some reason, I just latched onto the idea of a mute Liz, really suffering with the implications of everything she went through (since her recovery was so glossed over in the show boo) & Red 1000% being there for her. Mostly, I just wanted to dive into the dynamic of Liz letting Red care for her the way he's always wanted to (without Tom & Agnes btw) to the point where their relationship is unhealthy in its reliance, but neither can see it bc Liz is blocking things out (& unknowingly falling in love with him) & Red is just so thrilled to be able to love & care for her (while already deeply in love with her obvi). So yeah, that was the kind of dynamic & closeness I wanted to explore between them & it was... really fun 😊

The idea of the coma providing the perspective Liz needed to see that Red has always had her best interests at heart & clearly loves her (in addition to the fact that he never left her side or gave up during those 10 months lol peak romance tbh) seemed very organic & logical to me.

I liked the idea of Red & Liz playing board games as a way to pass the time & get to know each other better. It's the kind of casual interaction we were never gifted with in the show & I think they're both competitive in the right circumstances, even if its playfully so.

I liked the idea of Liz being urged to learn ASL, as I'm deaf in one ear & would dearly love to learn it at some point.

The detail of Red sleeping on a cot close enough to Liz's hospital bed that they can hold hands in their sleep was a total guilty pleasure addition & I'm not sorry.

I loved the scene in the beginning where Red is talking to Dembe on the phone in the hallway & Liz is practicing her letters. She's purely doing it so Red doesn't worry & I loved the idea of her being apathetic to everything except Red's concerns, plus I added in the parenthetical of (Red sometimes squints at her k's.) bc I thought it represented that well, but also bc it was just cute af. I also added the little detail of him waving at her through the window at the last minute bc I thought the scene needed something else & once I pictured that, it was too adorable to leave out.

Red handling all the details of Liz's care & transportation without asking (bc he instinctively knew that's what Liz wanted) only to turn around & panic about excluding her seemed like a very RED thing to do & I like how it emphasizes his well-meaning intentions, respect for her preferences, & desire to see her happy, even if she did actually want to leave him lol as if.

I liked the visual of Liz stumbling into Red's arms as she stands from her hospital bed to leave with him (sets a precedent for later) & I also loved the visual of a pen in her ponytail & of course Red using it to flirt a little bc come on.

I remember struggling to write the car ride transition to the lake house. I usually get ideas & visions for specific scenes, moments, or bits of dialogue, so those kind of transition moments are hard for me sometimes. But I liked that I settled on Red helping to ground Liz through touch (again, sets a precedent for later).

Red & Liz playing hangman in the car with Red using the word "fedora" & drawing a suited hangman made me giggle.

I can see the lake house very clearly in my mind, complete with the willow tree, bench, & tiny house (included bc I desperately want a tiny house in real life) & I really enjoyed describing the interior & imagining the joy Red would get out of decorating it with Liz in mind.

Their first night in the house where Liz has her nightmare & Red comforts her - that was a scene I had in mind very early on & I love how it turned out, especially with Liz mouthing "stay with me" into Red's neck, that part gave me All The Feels™.

The "morning after" scene where Liz realizes on some level that she's too dependent on Red is an important moment in the fic & the off-hand detail that at least "she's not going around murdering people & calling it therapy" was a bit of shade to Ruin (which I don't think I ever saw bc I was kind of appalled with the idea lol) I think I posted Scripted after Ruin aired... if not, I guess I'm psychic?? LOL

The breakfast scene - & the fact that Red is preparing every breakfast food known to man bc he's nervous too - is near & dear to my heart. I think that's a pretty pivotal scene since they kind of reach an unspoken agreement & peace &... "things settle after that first breakfast."

I liked the teeny little parenthetical section that comes next as well, which acts as a sort of middle point for the fic.

The next large chunk of the fic was pure indulgence for me. I LOVED writing about all the different things they would do together when it was just the two of them, it was basically a collection of Lizzington headcanons & that's how I sketched them out LOL Here's some notes on them:

I came up with the jigsaw puzzle headcanon (that Liz is bored by them bc they're easy for her bc she's a trained psychologist & easily sees patterns in things) late in the editing process but loved it so much that I included it.

Liz's sandwich preference is actually mine LOL

The Monopoly banter was fun af to write bc I love that game.

The love notes Liz leaves around the house for Red is still an all-time favorite headcanon of mine.

I loved the idea of Red reading to Liz in a foreign language, holding the book only for looks, but not actually reading from it at all & instead professing his love for her. I think I've even used that headcanon in another fic LOL

Their movie nights were also something I was dying to include, especially since they include snacks & cuddles.

Their co-sleeping habits were also something I wanted to include & Liz's newly tactile nature is both a symptom of her dependence on Red & also a guilty pleasure thing for me bc we all wanted more of Red & Liz touching on screen, plus I felt obligated to explain through Red that it wasn't sexual in nature (though if I ever get around to writing part 2, that will change 😉)

Dembe being the one to observe & interfere in their situation was an early scene I imagined as well, that was always going to be the climax of the fic (or at least part 1). I so enjoyed writing about Red & Liz's relationship through his eyes bc he just loves them both & only wants to help them.

Another pivotal scene I imagined early on was Liz having a panic attack with Dembe when she discovers Red has left & that was super engaging to write, as well as the reunion between them which... I pretty much wrote the whole fic with the goal of getting to that lovely angst LOL

Red's resolve to finally urge Liz to speak was heart-breaking to write (so naturally I loved it lol what's wrong with me) & in particular the detail of them eating fruit for lunch before he broaches the topic with her & the parenthetical about it being "a sign from the cosmos that they are meant to be together just because they don't eat each other's favorite fruit" made my heart happy even tho it's stupid LOL & when Red asks her if she would ever try to speak again & she responds with a simple written "Why?" that was a huge moment that I loved the angst of, of course. As well as the absolutely gutting: "Lizzie, I miss your voice."

I liked that Liz needs some time to think & accept everything Red forces her to realize at the end, that was super important to me in the resolution of the fic/part 1 & I tried really hard to include both their mentalities there at the end.

The fact that Red hasn't had a drink since he started caring for Liz also made my shipping heart happy.

And - lastly - the fact that the only thing Liz actually says in the whole fic is Red's name? Yeah 🥲🥲🥲

Welp, there you go, anon, I'm not sure if that was interesting to you at all, but I certainly hope so!! I know that was a lot but... it's a long fic, my longest ever, so I figure it's warranted, right?? 😂 Anyway, thank you so much, both for the compliment of loving Scripted AND for wanting to read more about it, anon, you are so sweet!! 🥰 I hope you enjoyed this & much, much love to you, my friend!! ❤️

Fanfic Writers: Director's Cut

#The Blacklist #Lizzington #fanfic #Scripted #ask game #fanfic writers: director's cut #mine #ask #anon #thank you so much for this my friend!!#:D #i hope you enjoyed this #:)#much much love to you!!#<3

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the-last-cuddlebender · 3 years

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Since when young Tenzin is underloved? His dad loved him the best and treated him as the special one and his mom adores him and maybe his siblings would give him shit when they were kids because they were jealous but he had Lin as a good friend and then he cheated on her with a 20yrs younger woman. The guy gets as much loved as he deserves

Hi, anon! So there’s a few things to unpack here, so I’ll try to be as concise as I can. This is pretty much what I think Tenzin’s childhood was really like and why he should be appreciated just as much as Bumi and Kya. Also with Kataang TLOK parenting thrown in. I’m pretty tired and don’t wanna edit an essay, so I apologize if it rambles.

Also, I’m not gonna touch the whole Tenzin cheating point. I’m fairly certain that that’s just objectively wrong. Everything else I’m more than happy to discuss, though:D

To be clear, when I say I feel like Tenzin is under-loved, I mean by the fandom (and by TLOK, but to a smaller degree). Under-appreciated might be a better word. Or under-explored? Idk. I just know that Tenzin’s childhood—just his—doesn’t get the attention it deserves. Outside of Tenzin having some angsty one-on-one’s with Aang (which I love, make no mistake!), I don’t see a lot fleshing out his childhood. Bumi and Kya get a lot of it, though (or the kids as a whole, but nothing that’s just Tenzin’s).

I don’t subscribe to the idea that Aang treated Tenzin as “the special one.” Bumi and Kya being jealous—in the way that seems to be the majority consensus—of Tenzin when they were kids is a bit hard for me to imagine, too. I try to stick to canon as much as I can, but, for some things, I have to draw the line. There has to be evidence, not just anecdote, otherwise I hc it into oblivion. I’m not saying their feelings in TLOK aren’t valid. They absolutely are, and Aang would never want those feelings to be invalidated. Children just retain things differently. A traumatic accident could have no effect on them but falling in the shower and bumping their head might. Developing brains are weird.

I can see Kya and Bumi giving Tenzin some shit when they were kids (Tenzin does admit that Kya picked on him), but I highly doubt that was any more/less than normal sibling rivalry and Cain Instinct. Sure, Aang might have given Tenzin attention for being an airbender, but he gave Kya and Bumi attention for being a waterbender and a non-bender, too. To me, it’s like having siblings who play different sports. Just because dad went to every one of my sister’s soccer games doesn’t mean he didn’t attend every one of my basketball games. The hyperfixation on airbending in TLOK makes it sound like that was all Aang cared about, but even in ATLA we can see that that isn’t true. If it was, then he would have kicked out the mechanist from the Northern Air Temple.

To say that Aang loved Tenzin the best is to imply that he loved his other children poorly, which isn’t true in the slightest. I can entertain the argument that he spent more one-on-one time with Tenzin, but that could be attributed to different children with different personalities having different wants and different needs for validation from their parents. And I will gladly defend it, even though I personally hc otherwise.

It’s hard to talk about Tenzin without also talking about Aang and Katara, so bear with me here:

Tenzin and Kya:

Tenzin was the last airbender besides Aang. Kya was the last waterbender from the Southern Water Tribe besides Katara. To assume Aang treated Tenzin as the “special one” because he’s an airbender would, if using the same logic, mean assuming Katara treated Kya as the “special one” for being a waterbender.

I’ve never understood why The Southern Water Tribe being inherited by the Kataang kids isn’t as big of a deal as Air Nomad culture. Both of them were recovering cultures on the brink of extinction, so they both have a lot of pressure for the kids to live up to.

Plus, if Sokka had a right of passage for being a Water Tribe warrior, then who’s to say there wasn’t a right of passage for Kya, specifically, for being a waterbender? She would be the special one, there. And maybe Tenzin struggled with his two heritages because being an Air Nomad meant being vegetarian but being Water Tribe meant using dead fish to go penguinsledding?

Tenzin and Learning too soon:

Tenzin probably learned about his responsibility of carrying the legacy of the airbenders at a very, very young age. Aang and Katara probably tried their hardest to wait until he was older to tell him (a-la Gyatso wanting to wait until Aang was older for him to carry the burden of being the airbenders’—and the world’s—last hope, too), but it was unavoidable. It was a part of the world’s history, and the aftermath of the war wasn’t exactly something a kid could avoid. Plus, I’m sure Aang wanted to correct airbender history as it was taught in schools as soon as he got the opportunity after the war.

Tenzin just has the abstract “idea” of what his bending culture was like when it was alive and well. Aang has memories to draw upon from which to imagine the future that the airbenders needed to rebuild towards. Tenzin gets second-hand notes.

Tenzin also didn’t have a baseline by which to measure if he was a “good airbender.” He had only Aang to compare himself to. ONLY AANG. This is talked about in TLOK but only in regards to Aang being his dad, if I’m not mistaken. But Aang isn’t just Tenzin’s dad. Aang is his father, the Avatar, and the youngest airbender to get his master’s tattoos. That’s a LOT more to live up to than just being his kid. And it’s the only thing Tenzin has to compare himself to to measure whether or not he’s a good airbender. I’m shocked that his spiritual ineptitude isn’t more of a haunting issue for him, quite frankly.

Tenzin and Bullying:

Tenzin didn’t have any airbenders his age (anyone like him) growing up. Even Aang had a childhood with other airbenders. As a father, Aang was as playful as a kid, sure, but, to a child, it isn’t quite the same because they don’t share that special bond of growing together and having a shared upbringing.

Katara can especially empathize with this.

Airbending is the element of fun. It’s kindof hard to express/embrace that facet of the element if Tenzin is the only one his age who can wield it.

I can almost guarantee that Tenzin got voted out of playing with other kids at least a few times because he was the only airbender (and that would make teams unfair). He probably learned to play by himself. That would certainly make him serious. Toph would probably teach him how to entertain himself, too. And that might lead to Tenzin and Lin hanging out. Who knows?

I honestly think Tenzin was bullied quite a bit (and not by Kya and Bumi), and that the bullying attributed to his demeanor as he grew up. Him cowering from Kya or running from his siblings when they picked on him was an exasperation of what he was probably dealing with outside his home.

In the recent comic with Katara and the pirates, we see a Fire Nation soldier flaunt some pretty nasty ideas about the Air Nomads because of Sozin’s propaganda. I don’t think that 15 years (or however long Tenzin was born after the war) is going to reverse that. Tenzin was probably picked on for being an airbender in addition to being the Avatar’s kid.

If the rise of fashion post-war was as fast-growing as industry, I can imagine kid-Tenzin being made fun of for being bald (even though it was part of his religion/culture) and for dressing in robes when the world, especially Republic City, was beginning to adopt different clothes.

Tenzin is an incredibly tender soul around those he loves but also incredibly serious around his adversaries. He has a soft inside and an armored shell, and that thick skin is usually forged through unsavory interactions. And he definitely interacted with plenty of normal kids his age. Aang missed the chance after the ice, and Katara was the only one her age in her village besides (kindof) Sokka. There’s no way Aang and Katara would keep their kids cooped up and strictly homeschooled. At the very least, Toph would bust them out if they did.

Tenzin and Katara:

Now, I’m not saying that Tenzin blames Aang because he obviously doesn’t. But Aang has memories of what airbender life was like, and Tenzin has only dreams. Honestly, it’s like he’s caught in the situation Aang was in when he was a young Avatar. They both have to live up to something that was pretty much just a legend. How could Tenzin possibly be expected to compare himself to something like that and be peachy fine? Aang wasn’t. So maybe, just maybe, Aang and Katara decided to have Tenzin go on private trips with Aang so Tenzin could understand that part of himself that was so hard for him to get? Inner peace is pretty dang hard to think about with THAT much pressure.

And yes, it was Aang and Katara who decided on the trips. I will not for a second believe that 1.) Aang would make that kind of decision without her input or 2.) that Katara would let one of her kids get private time with dad that would even potentially give the illusion of favoritism.

Katara knew how important one-on-one time with a parent was to some kids. This is why she tells Sokka to go see Hakoda instead of her in Ba Sing Se. She saw not only how much Sokka wanted but how much he NEEDED to see their dad. Sokka and Tenzin were both caught in a “passing of the torch” scenario (tbh, the scene where Aang tells Tenzin that he’s proud of him in the Spirit World reminds me of when Hakoda tells Sokka that he’s proud of him during the invasion when he’s injured. In both instances, it kindof solidifies the official passing of the torch).

“You didn’t love her like I did”—Katara learned pretty quick in tsr about how incredibly toxic the assumption of loving or being loved more/less was. She would never under any circumstance agree to anything that would show favoritism to one of her children. Absolutely no way. Aang and Katara are a team, and to villainize one for favoritism is to villainize the other.

Tenzin and Yue:

Tenzin had a stressful upbringing. I would even make the argument that he and Yue had a similar time trying to conform to a responsibility that they were told/learned about at a too young age. Their mindsets are very similar—responsibility even at the sacrifice of their own wants and happiness and an overwhelming love for their father.

Tenzin: “I have a responsibility to Republic City.” Yue: “I have a duty to my Tribe.”

They were both determined to love and carry on the legacy of their father and their people, but they did it in their own way. They both struggled with their responsibilities from an extremely young age.

Finishing thoughts I guess:

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I can imagine a young Tenzin crying and trying to hide from the world that was shoving its weight onto his shoulders, and who, when Aang finds him hiding in the bison stables or somewhere similar, cringes away from Aang for a split second before recognizing his father and holding on so tight that it hurt. Aang tried his damnedest to teach Tenzin airbending and the responsibility of being the last airbender when Aang was gone, but even he knew that he couldn’t keep the weight of the world off of Tenzin forever. Aang never got that chance when he was told he was the Avatar. He heard the monks say that he was “the airbenders’ last hope” because storm clouds were gathering. Young Tenzin probably felt just as hopeless. The one-on-one trips he took with Aang were specifically to the places Aang had visited in S1 when he was still recovering from realizing that he was the last airbender. Maybe Aang took Tenzin with him one-on-one, just the two of them, to drive home the message that Tenzin was not the last airbender like Aang had been?

“I-I’m just one kid…I can’t. I…I-I’m just—”

“Shhh, shhh, shhh…I know, buddy. I know. But you’re my kid, too. You’re my entire world.”

“Everyone says I’m—”

“Don’t worry about them. They’re not here.”

“B-But—”

“But? What but? Are you hiding someone in your sleeping bag, Breeze-Butt?”

“N…No…”

“And do you see anyone else here?”

“…No.”

“That’s right. So don’t worry about them. It’s just you and me right now, okay? Just breathe. There you go. Just like I taught you—You’re doing so well, bud. Shhh…You’re okay. You’re not just one kid. You’re Tenzin. And you’re my son. You and your brother and sissy are my entire world. I love you so, so much...Oh, see? There’s that million-yuan smile!”

“…Thanks, Daddy. Love you.”

“Love you more. Do you want to try going in the water again? Or we can stay up here if you like. Whatever you want.”

“I wanna try again. But…But maybe just a small fish? I don’t wanna fall off again…I-I can’t do the air-chute yet…and the water hurt.”

“I’ll round up the smallest koi there is. I’ll sit right behind you, too. How’s that sound? I won’t let you fall.”

“Okay!”

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Maybe this has been said before idk. These are just my thoughts on Kataang parents and Tenzin. I retcon the entire Kataang family as it’s presented in TLOK, but this is how I imagine it going down in canon.

This isn’t an attack on any person or fandom btw! I just think Tenzin isn’t as appreciated as the airbean deserves😞 He’s been through so much😭

If there’s a secret stash of young Tenzin appreciation content somewhere, please share! I might be looking in the wrong places for Tenzin love, and I would love nothing more than to be wrong, honestly. So, please, if there’s a secret stash, yeet me that link!!

#tenzin #Avatar The Last Airbender #the legend of korra #atla #tlok #answered #aang #tenzin love #cloudbabies #kataang #katara #Kya II #Bumi II #the cuddles have spoken #im sorry for the late response anon I had a helluva day #tbh just my ramblings in a sorry excuse for an post I’m sorry okay😭 I tried to make it presentable at least lol #in this house we stan bestdad!Aang and bestmom!katara😤😤😤#thanks for the ask!#post

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amethystdarkwolf · 4 years

Text

My ‘Orange Side’ predictions, theories and a lot of Logan angst.

So I've had this theory for a hot second, and only recently decided to finally sit down and write it out. This goes on for quite a bit, and is a little bit on the heavier side, as it has my predictions for the last dark side, and a bunch of little patterns that are interesting to point out, that mostly lead to angst.

Okay, enjoy!

TL;DR is right before the little bonus thing at the end that's just more angst stuff for Logan that kind of applies.

So if you've been in the fandom for really any amount of time, you will know about The Rainbow Theory. Basically, all it is, is that the sides colors will make up the rainbow, and it seems to be nearly canon. We have all the colors except one. And that color is Orange.

Using the knowledge that this side will (most likely) be orange, we have a clue about him. That he's watching, and that he's aware of the audience.

From 26:34 to 26:44, in the upper left hand corner there is a score in orange text, the number is '07734'. Now, if you were to put that number into a calculator and turn it upside down, it would spell out, 'hello.'

Now this is mostly common knowledge at this point due to the fandom (me included) absolutely losing it over the hint of a new dark side. Especially since he shows up seemingly out of nowhere. I just needed to get those establishing bits out of the way before I continued on with the theory so it's a tiny bit easier to track my thinking (I tend to not explain my points correctly before moving onto the next one so I hope I did a better job of it this time through).

He is speaking to us. He's not saying hello to Patton or Roman or even Thomas! They don't even notice it! He is speaking to the viewer, which leads to the question of what exactly this side knows, and more importantly what this side is capable of.

There is also speculation that this dark side is going to be somehow attached to or the opposite of Logan. The opposite of Logic, that implication alone should be at least a little unsettling. Now, I love Logan, I love him a lot, him and Janus are my favorites. But he does seem to have kind of not the best relations with the others at times. However, I do not think we've reached him actually despising any side, not even Remus or Janus. I think that is going to change.

The color schemes Thomas and the team have been using are really clever. They convey a lot about the character just by having the color associated with them. They have also been working with the idea of opposites. And those opposites seem to conflict quite often.

What I mean is, violet on the color wheel is the opposite of yellow. Virgil and Janus' colors. Now, it is very, very plain to see that Virgil and Janus do not get along. Whatever history they have is still up in the air for specifics, but it's obvious that they have one. And at least Virgil hates Janus.

Red and green are also opposites on the color wheel. Even though they have barely interacted, it's clear by Roman's language towards Remus that they don't have the best relationship. Roman breaks down at the mention that him and Remus are similar. Also the funhouse simile, (DWIT: 35:56) "It's a little like, looking into a funhouse mirror, but instead of a giant head, or, like, long legs and a tiny torso... It shows you... Everything you don't want to be." That's more than enough evidence to prove they aren't on the best terms.

Now, onto blue. Blue, more specifically, Logan's shade of blue, is opposite to orange. And judging by the pattern we see developing with the opposite colors. Logan will not like the orange side one bit. Hold onto that piece of information for a moment while I make a few more predictions based on some more patterns.

Someone has already pointed this out, (if someone will be so kind as to remind me of who pointed this out that would be lovely <3), but back in Moving On Part 2, in the background, there is a picture hanging on the wall that will typically change to fit whatever topic they're currently on, (ex: it changed to a picture of Thomas preforming in the show he won the golden apple for when it was brought up, or a zoomed in picture of the children's book he made.) At 1:30 the picture changes to show Thomas doing the 'speak no evil, hear no evil and see no evil' poses. (Covering his mouth, ears and eyes)

The dark sides and Virgil seem to each have a connection to one of these.

Virgil: See no evil. (Embarrassing Phases: 7:32. Virgil makes the room go completely black, blocking everyone's field of vision while he changed Logan's costume.)

Janus: Speak no evil. (Self-explanatory)

Remus: Hear no evil. (DWIT: 5:36-5:48. Remus muffles the other sides conversation, making Thomas hear him clearer than anyone else with the "Have you ever imagined killing your brother?" line.)

The last one in that same vein, would be 'do no evil'.

So what does this pattern have to do with the other patterns I've pointed out?

Well, in order to get there, I need to point out, yet another pattern. (I'm so sorry)

Logan has always been a bit more physical than the rest of the sides I think. I don't really like using pre-Fitting In information in my theories, as I'm unsure of exactly how much they had planned at that point?, but I'm unsure of how to explain my point that well without this example. In Accepting Anxiety part 1, at 6:36 you can see Thomas rubbing the back of his head where he was hit with the laptop, immediately after, you can see Logan do the same thing.

To me this sort of establishes that what happens to Thomas can happen to Logan, making him a bit more of a physical presence than the others. The brain is what stimulates pain after all, it controls all the nerve endings and pain receptors.

Another much looser example, is his puppet choice in LNTAO, the whole 'not made of felt' thing was most likely just because of what Logan said that y'know, he didn't feel anything. It is also the fact of, all of the others puppets had felt somewhere on them, except his. Which makes the puppet, in contrast, feel more sturdy and physical.

I don't think this one applies all too much, but it is worth noting that out of all of the sides, Logan tends to always end up holding something/having something more physical in his possession more than the others. (Moving on being the exception)

The note cards.

The yerkes-dodson curve chart.

In Can Lying Be Good he was given a little headset.

Logic Vs. Passion he had a notebook (Which also made an appearance in Embarrassing Phases) as well as the drawings and graphs, while he wasn't physically holding them, they were real and not animation like Roman's examples.

(If you wanna count the crofters go ahead...?)

LNTAO also had the paper ball throwing physically hurting Roman.

In SvS when he was summoned (lmao summoned to appear in court I just got that as I was typing this out.) He is holding a law book.

In DWIT he gets physically hurt, twice. Having his teeth pulled out, and the throwing star. [Side note: the little interaction at 19:07 could also apply here, showing how he's more grounded as he stays almost completely still when Remus practically jump scares him.]

In the Healthy Distractions video he has what I'm assuming is coffee-

Then in the redux, he physically ends up hurting Patton by popping up too close. An odd little detail that really didn't apply, don't you think? And it's immediately followed up with Patton reiterating that they were just figments of Thomas' imagination.

Logan is much more grounded in reality and more physical than the other sides. Which is a very good thing for Logic to be, that's what it has to be.

Now what is the actual theory?

Virgil can blind the others

Remus can mute the others

Janus can silence the others

My theory is that the 'orange side' is going to have the ability to physically or mentally control the others.

And Logan is going to be his chosen victim, at least at first.

Logan is going to have an antagonistic relationship with this side because of the fact that he takes control away from him. Which order and control is what Logan seems to thrive on!

Keeping schedules, having everything in order, being taken seriously, attempting to make sure that Thomas is punctual, all of those things are Logan trying to maintain control. Now that isn't a bad thing in this circumstance at least, he's trying to make sure Thomas doesn't do anything that would cause his life to devolve into chaos.

But when it's taken away from him it's going to send him into some kind of spiral, and lead to his two-part video. Losing control of things is scary as hell. It was one of the points brought up as to why Remus was being a pest more than usual (DWIT: 29:37-29:56). And obviously being ignored and pushed to the side isn't helping either. It could just be the straw that breaks the camels back.

Long story short, Logan's arc is going to be directly tied to that other dark side, at least in my predictions.

And it's going to hurt.

Okay, this last little bit, is purely speculation, with very little connection to anything in canonicity. All of the dark traits seem to have a connection to some kind of animal, and they're typically ones that are seen as gross or creepy in some form, spider, snake, octopus.

What if the last dark side's animal was some kind of bug? A beetle or something. Like seriously the thought of a bright orange beetle or cockroach is, disgusting.

The only reason I'm saying this is because of a random thought I had. We all know Logan's 'robot' persona he puts up, he can't feel anything, he's mechanical, right? Well, a side coming in and completely flipping all of that on it's head, and ruining the control Logan had...

That would be a real bug in the system, now wouldn't it?

Well! Thank you for reading through all of this! I know it got a bit long-winded I just like having as much evidence as possible before stating a theory.

But those were just my thoughts and I'd love to hear yours! So please tell me what you think!!!

TL;DR: My prediction is that the orange side will be able to take control over the other sides, and he will take control of Logan which would cause Logan to spiral enough to warrant his two part video.

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BONUS: Some more angsty bits about Logan and control, that didn't apply to the theory too much!

So first off, to me Logan seems like a very straight-forward (ha.) problem solver. If there is a problem there is no need to go through extensive loopholes or anything, no emotional mires or musical numbers unless necessary, the problem just needs to be fixed, period end of sentence.

I have a feeling that Logan applies that same logic to himself.

In the videos prior to Losing My Motivation, Logan was very very happy and bubbly. Easily excited and willing to participate in things he probably wouldn't have otherwise. He was much more expressive. (I know this is most likely because he was not a fully fleshed out character yet, but it can tie into some angst.)

Then in Losing My Motivation, Logan was brought the conclusion that he was the problem. (Note: this was also where the infinitesimal mistake was also made.)

From then on, we can slowly see minor changes to him in the videos, he starts becoming more reserved, serious, as well as trying new things to sort of fit in? (i.e the note cards) He saw the problem, and he tried to fix it. He became the definite voice of reason. Him smiling also went down a lot.

Looking back on this better explains why Logan was so upset at the beginning of Logic Vs. Passion, 2:28-2:41. To him he's already fixed his problem, he's fixed himself, he was the problem, how could Thomas run into this problem again!

Then we get to the crofters musical, where he just completely drops his walls down and sings and has fun with something he enjoys. Then of course, Virgil and Patton kinda come and unintentionally embarrass him. And he starts getting more feelings of inadequacy which build up to the whole problem of LNTAO.

Then in SvS almost his entire time on the witness stand was Janus subtly poking at him, and at 15:04, he talks about wanting to make sure Thomas is punctual and productive. He in fact calls it his passion project, something he is PASSIONATE ABOUT.

After two or three years, Logan is still trying to fix the problem. He's still trying to fix himself.

Now this link to control is mostly in what Logan is trying to get Thomas to do, be punctual, follow schedules, produce adequate content at a steady pace, and follow the same pattern every day, according to the chart in Logic Vs. Passion. This habit forming, tends to nearly eliminate variables from Thomas' life. Earning Logan more control. Which is clearly what he's wanting, as he feels that is the way to prevent problems from happening.

#sanders sides #logan sanders #ts sanders sides #theory #sanders sides theory #the orange side #roman sanders #patton sanders #janus sanders #virgil sanders #remus sanders #ts logan #ts roman #ts patton #ts virgil #ts janus #ts remus

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whumpbby · 3 years

Text

I finished typing and now I feel I have to preface it with a: this is all a monologue about Jedi and Force and Lucas’ inability to show the good story he wants to tell - just a warning. This is in no way meant to contradict the other post with that quote floating around or argue against it - just my own rambling coming to a conclusion I keep struggling with when it comes to SW universe and the ways it makes no sense to me and how I feel deep in my bones that Lucas is a crap storyteller.

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I don’t know why, but for all the interesting concepts Lucas talks about, Anakin’s fall never sat well with me. In time I came to the conclusion I would respond better if the Jedi culture surrounding it wasn’t so contradictory to itself.

And if he wasn’t so heavily leaning on the concept of the ‘pure love’ that is unconditional and undemanding and ‘unselfish’. Tldr: that love does not exist outside of poetry and romance dramas and imagination. Like every other emotion humans feel, love is conditional.

Take the first trilogy - I got that. The Jedi were largely missing and there was not much lore-wise, but the vibe it gave was measured and peaceful and mindful, and all the things that stood against the Empire - that represented the Dark Side in a very concise way. It wasn’t too nuanced, so we could buy it in this very simple ‘princes kidnapped b ya dragon’ story. This is as good as Lucas gets.

But then the prequels happened and Jedi became this weird, extremely specific, but conflicting idea. They are not supposed to take sides in politics - except when they do. They are not supposed to kill - except when they do, with freaking relish. They are not supposed to love or hate or allow emotions dictate their ways - oh, except when they do. And they can have sex - just not sex with someone they want to settle down with (oh boy, is that a signifier of a story written by a guy or what?). All seems to be ‘except when they do, as long as it can be adequately justified to make them look good’.

And I do have an issue with the idea of ‘Anakin was too old to join, he was already attached to his mother’ which is, when you think about it, is insane. Learning to control your emotions and letting go of your wants, Buddhist way, fine.

Aiming to train children to not be attached to their parents? What? How young a child has to be for that attachment forms? How is a meditation and repeating mantras going to help a 5-year old who is missing their mom at the temple? How do you even expect to train a child out of missing their mom??? How is it NOT better to get an older child that can reason above the instinctual and hardwired need for their mother?

But let’s say Anakin’s attachment to his mother was ‘selfish’ from the beginning - but, that’s the thing, was it? Was it really? They were slaves and she was his only family, okay, obviously that made his attachment stronger and more layered than, say, a normal middle-class Coruscanti kid who could love their mom without constant fear that any day they can be separated forever by someone who didn’t give a shit. In that sense, yes, Anakin was desperately attached to his mom and afraid of loosing her - there was fear in him. Right, I’m there with you, Yoda.

But the movies show us that the way Jedi seem to approach these hard subjects is by not approaching them at all - oh, well, we can’t take him in. He had a difficult childhood and there are issues attached, get him out of here.

In a galaxy full of races and issues and the Force being tied to any and all creatures in any and all circumstances - this was the hard line Jedi were drawing. In essence, either only accepting kids young enough to not remember their parents (and I see absolutely no issues whatsoever that could happen here, nope) or with childhoods perfect enough not to have any issues whatsoever. Anyone else? Adults that discovered Force when they were older? Kids like Anakin with hard childhoods? Creatures that were either culturally or chemically wired differently enough that the tight reins Jedi held over their emotions weren’t possible for them? Nope. Go away. You are a bad person in the making.

If you spend a moment contemplating, you will realise this is such a white privileged guy way to think about it. And if you stick your head into the microwave for a couple seconds, you can almost understand how Lucas thought this is something profound and mystical.

No that I think about it... I always thought Sith were freaking clowns - their philosophy makes no sense, their ‘rule of two’ is hilarious, everything about them is just so badly designed and thought out, and who would ever decide to join of that creepy cult of their own volition? It made no sense!

But, as an answer to the egalitarian and contradictory ways of the Jedi - Sith make all the sense to exist. And let’s forget about the Light and Dark (that I don’t believe exist above the ways of personal emotional expression that in time trains the Force around a person in certain ways - like a person can train their brain in and out of anxiety ofr example), but focusing strictly on philosophy - yeah, being a Sith makes sense when any other way is barred form someone by no fault of their own. And barred with an excuse they are a bad seed anyway.

“You fear/hate/desire hence you can’t access the Force with us” = “Well fuck you, then, I will access the Force in my own way, using these exact emotions!”

Like, Sith are clowns, but Jedi suck in their own very special way and their fall was just waiting to happen.

I get a strange feeling that Lucas created Jedi as a class of a warrior monk in DnD and then scrambled to create their enemies out of the simplest contradictions. Light-dark. Love-Hate. Peace-Fear. Etc. But because Jedi were so simple - once they started to gain popularity and he had to expand their lore and layer on the philosophy, he hit a wall. Or rather, the bottom of the kiddy pool. Because a ‘warrior monk’ is not an a ‘good’ class, but he wanted them to be mostly warriors, but also a force of good in the galaxy, because Star Wars is the same simple story repeated again and again with a new set of characters (regardless of how much fake politics is thrown in to obscure that fact) so this whole universe is basically built on giving Jedi reasons to fight and kill, and adequately justifying them. And then the Dark Side had to catch up by being more ridiculously evil at every turn - accidentally unmasking the way Jedi philosophy falls apart under closer scrutiny.

So like, to make a full circle, the one thing the prequels did well was to show Anakin’s fall (and I am not gonna argue, it was effective and he is a villain of this story) but they also presented - I think against the creator’s intention - why it was pretty much inevitable. Not because Palpatine was there to whisper poison, or because Force itself strived for ‘balance’ (even though the latter is a hilarious idea I love to contemplate) - but because Jedi, as presented in the movies-media around them, as a philosophy and way of life is inherently contradictory and unsustainable from the point of being a, well, a breathing, thinking being. The ‘selfish love’ argument would work so much better if it wasn’t presented with an example of a kid who was born a slave and the people who saw it as a strike against his character, and did very little to address the specific issues that could arise from that before it was too late.

Would it fucking kill them to let go of their strict training routine and ensure that his specific emotional needs were met? That Shimi was, I don’t know, NOT A SLAVE. They seem to interfere into politics just fine when need arises - but not when it’s a sandy planet in the ass-end of the universe no one cares about. Then no, we can’t liberate one slave. That would be acting in self-interest - not in the interest of not allowing one of the strongest members of out order to fall into the ruin we have forseen form the beginning.

It would work better is if Anakin’s ‘selfishness’ was presented as his inability to let Padme leave him for someone else/just leave him - not to be unwilling to let her die.

Think about it for a moment - he wasn’t presented with the idea of Padme leaving him. With the idea of his mother not loving him anymore. He was firmly and, form his point of view, believably, presented with the idea of both of them DYING. Which actually happened to his mom, solidifying the fear in his mind.

Yes, he was not meant to go on a rampage and kill the ones who killed Shimi - but wasn’t he? The Jedi are not against killing. Only killing in self-interest I guess - when self-interest is not one’s life and their political affiliation or their ‘job’ at hand, that is. Revenge is a no-no, but a military retaliation is a yes-go. Can’t kill anyone who wronged me - but I can kill those who wronged a person who gives me orders. How does that work within a Jedi doctrine?

How, in good conscience, can you present this scenario, George, and then try to spin it into this big philosophical bullcrap about unselfish love???? Jedi murdered people over political squabbles - but I guess that’s okay because they weren’t invested??? And that’s better?!?!? George! What the fuck! You are such a bloke my head hurts!

In case of Anakin, Jedi were essentially Elsa’s parents. I pretty much despise Elsa and the film she crawled out of, and I personally don’t like Anakin as a character either, so this is not stanning in any way, but their issues scream ‘I was raised by well-meaning idiots’ and shows the level of botched storytelling I just can’t reconcile.

Which, you know what?

Luke, who spent years studying Jedi ways and taking them into himself?

I can believe than this Luke would try to kill his nephew at the barest whiff of the Dark Premonition instead of helping him manage his motions in a somewhat healthy way - that seems to be exactly what a real Jedi would do, after all.

#star wars #rant?#thoughts?#rambling #jedi suck blue balls #and so do sith #sw #lucas should never write on anything that isn't a post-it note

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itsclydebitches · 4 years

Text

Hello, everyone! I come bearing a new recap series to fill the void until Volume 8. This came about because a bunch of friends went, “Hey, this book is really bad” and I responded with, “Really? I should check it out!” Now here we are.

Thrilling tale, I know.

The rules for this project are simple:

Each recap will cover a single chapter

Each chapter will be read as time and energy permit

Each chapter will contain typos because such is life

Recaps are a general response to anything and everything I notice about the text. This includes positives, negatives, and the wishy-washy stuff in between. Despite the summarized conversation above, I’m not going into this with the intention of ripping BtD to shreds, nor am I looking to absolve it simply because it’s ~RWBY~. I’m attempting to be as objective as one human individual can be

However, given that there will be criticisms (a lot of them so far)... any rude messages taking issue with that will unceremoniously be deleted :)

Onward!

We open with Sun’s point of view as he wanders the streets of Vacuo in the very late night/early morning. We learn that he’s been back for a month, but it’s “only now that he felt like he was truly home.” Why that is isn’t made clear. There are two actions connected to this thought: getting into a dangerous battle and helping out a stranger. It’s up to the reader to decide which (or both) is what makes Vacuo feel like home to Sun, but either is going to say a lot about his characterization. Is he a Yang, only feeling like things are normal when there’s something exciting going on? Or a Ruby, attaching feelings of self-worth and belonging to his ability to help others? As said, it’s arguably both.

To clarify this situation: Sun is following a group of three who in turn are following a woman. He says that they were “three goons who were up to no good. At least he’d assumed they were up to no good when he spotted them stalking a woman out of some new nightclub downtown.” Which begs the question, which is it? Do you actually know the three are “stalking” her or is this another “assumption”? Are they up to no good or not? Retroactively, their fight with Sun and the narrative connections to the rest of the plot seem to prove that they are indeed baddies... but Sun didn’t know this at the time. By his own admission he’s drawing very firm conclusions (they’re “goons”) based on circumstantial evidence. I’m torn between praising him for taking action - that woman is presumably safe now thanks to him - and acknowledging that this is a problem with our whole cast. All our heroes jump to conclusions like this and have very confident ideas about who is “good” and who is “bad” based on little to no evidence. Really, I take far less issue with this particular situation and its context (Huntsmen in training sees a woman potentially in danger and takes non-disruptive action to try and prevent a tragedy. That’s good) than I do this trend of characters “assuming” things about others across the series.

But enough on that. Sun’s plan to keep an eye on the situation fails as they “somehow noticed him” despite taking extra precautions to keep out of sight. From this he deduces that at least one member, Brown, is a faunus because the faunus are much more attuned to their environment. Both due to biology and growing up trying to keep safe from humans. I find the bigotry part of that explanation to be odd. I’ll admit that I might be reading way too much into this. So far there’s a lot in this novel that’s not obviously bad but did make me pause and go, “Ehhh...” Just because this moment draws a line between the racism allegory and (literal) animal traits. Take a second to swap out the fantasy term of “faunus”: Character, as a black man, is more attuned to his environment because he’s learned to protect himself from white people.” There is something to be said for minority groups being more cautious in specific situations, or being wary of how they present themselves to new people, etc. But in this case faunus are supposed to just be more attuned to things 24/7 because of fantasy-racism, which sounds a lot like an evolutionary, animalistic trait that they... already have? Saying that the character with animal eyes and ears can more easily pick up on someone tracking him is one thing. Saying that the discriminated against character can more easily pick up on someone tracking him because he’s just hyper-aware at all times very much like an animal...that’s “Ehhh.” It’s one of those things I doubt I’d be paying any attention to if RWBY had given us better representation overall. It’s reached a point where the way the faunus are handled is so messy that any statement like this invites at least a dollop of suspicion. But I’ll leave that to others to cry “Yea” or “Nay.”

So Sun is forced to confront these three. They wear masks and “matching silver armbands around their right biceps.” Sun thinks that they’re “just average gas masks” and thus way less scary than the grimm masks the White Fang prefers. All I could think was:

Gas masks are plenty scary, Sun, you’re just watching the wrong TV shows.

These four start the obligatory pre-fight chit-chat which includes Pink calling Sun “kid.” Every time this happens I feel a tiny bit of my soul wither and die. The protagonists’ ages and the implications attached to them have been a thorn in my side since Volume 5. I mean, heaven forbid we acknowledge that these are teenagers often making immature decisions when the text itself keeps reminding us of how young they are.

But I digress.

As the fight begins Sun concentrates to activate his semblance and we’re given a rather strange flashback. Sun, along with his older cousin Starr Sanzang, are moving with their clan after their “previous settlement had become too attractive to Grimm.” Which is its own, massive can of worms labeled with the question “What suddenly makes a home ‘too attractive’?” But we have nothing else to work with there so I’m leaving it alone. The primary takeaway is Sun’s reaction to the move itself. He wants to know why they don’t fight and despite being told that a) not everyone in the clan is as strong as him and b) he has a tendency to be hotheaded (even though that’s presented as familial teasing), he’s not happy with those answers. It’s amazing how much of this characterization makes it feel like Meyers barely read the RWBY wiki, yet he’s simultaneously managing to hit on a lot of the series’ major themes - including the idea that heroes must never, ever retreat. We could easily take Sun’s thoughts and chuck them into any of Team RWBY’s heads during Volume 7 and you’d be good to go. Not standing and fighting when that would likely mean your death? The horror!

This perspective also (for me) says a lot about his semblance itself. This is the moment where he starts working towards it, so given what we know about semblances, souls, and the circumstances in which they’re developed, I’d say his emotional state is pretty important. Sun wants to stay and fight. He’s told that not everyone is powerful like him. He’d need more people in order to defend his home. Then he literally creates more of himself to help him in battle. Problem solved.

The strange part is what kick-starts this development. Sun sees a magical (???) tree that appears to him and him alone. It’s “a desert willow, green and flourishing with white, rose, and violet flowers” and it’s what he focuses on whenever he needs to draw on his semblance. It’s unclear what, if anything, this tree is meant to represent. There’s obvious symbolism regarding a “flourishing” plant in an otherwise desolate wasteland, but we are not (as of yet) privy to whether this tree is a real thing with a real, tangible connection to Sun. It would be easy to conclude that Sun just imagined it despite his own insistence otherwise, but in a story where semblances, magic, and gods do exist? Who knows. I hope this is going somewhere because it’s frustrating to drop something ~symbolic~ into a universe that’s supposed to be governed by concrete, magical rules and leave the reader floundering over how to categorize that.

We come back to the fight where Sun decides that Brown was “both the leader of the group and the most dangerous. Why? Because he was hiding the most.”

Hold up.

How do you know he’s “hiding the most” when they’re all wearing identical masks and doing the same, shady stuff?

Why in the world is the concept of hiding things connected to leadership?

Not going to lie, it feels like a dig at Ozpin. “Oh yes, the most secretive one must be the leader because we all know leaders do nothing but hide things. The two are so intimately linked that I can look at three people who are all acting suspicious, single out the guy who I’m assuming is a faunus based on no evidence, and thus further conclude - since he’s totally hiding that part of his identity - that he’s the leader here. Simple deduction.”

Sherlock Holmes would be ashamed.

More importantly, you know who’s also a dangerous leader who hides things?

Oh, also this guy.

But instead of acknowledging this we’re offered the simplistic explanation that this is the leader of the bad guys because only bad guys hide stuff. Right.

I’m already getting the sense that Sun’s characterization - like Ruby’s - is going to suffer in this book. They should absolutely be written better given who they were when we first met them, but both end up being mouth pieces for the weird themes the story keeps insisting on including. To be clear, I’ve got a lot of issues with Sun in this story so far, but they’re issues that I don’t think should exist. It’s not “I dislike this character” but much more “I dislike this character but that’s only because you’re making them do and say really OOC things. Give me back the version of this character we had before.” There are characters I don’t vibe with and then there are characters who should be on my wavelength but the creators went and changed course somewhere. That’s always disappointing.

(Aside #1: Can we just take a moment to acknowledge how awkward posing and answering your own question is when we’re supposed to be the PoV? That “Why? Because...” is incredibly jarring. I’m focusing on content over prose here, but the prose needs a whole lot of work in places.)

So Brown is apparently a faunus, and the leader, and hiding extra stuff because Sun says so. The two begin fighting in earnest (with Sun’s clones taking on the other two), but don’t worry, Sun has enough confidence to spare:

“Brown had some kind of martial arts training similar to Sun’s – but he wasn’t nearly as good.”

Brown proceeds to knock Sun down and disarm him. Easily.

The fact that Sun can’t land a hit on this guy then causes him legitimate shock. “‘Oh crap’, Sun thought. ‘I’m losing. How am I actually losing?’” I don’t know, maybe because you’re a second year student going up against an adversary of unknown age, origin, and skill? The confidence of all our characters is astounding to me. Doesn’t anyone ever question whether they can win a fight? Or acknowledge that losing one is expected? Both Sun and RWBYJNR seem to have come out of the Battle of Beacon thinking, “We have survived one (1) battle and therefore we are the best ever. Losing? Never heard of her.” There’s a difference between writing a confident character and writing a deluded one. Sun should not be blindsided by the fact that someone else in the world is more powerful than him.

(For the record, the eternal exception to this is Toph Beifong. They really let a tiny blind girl say, “I’m the goddamn best” and made it fact. I am, and will always, be here for that.)

Amidst this shock Sun thinks about Beacon and immediately shies away from those memories. I quite liked that. I wish the web-series did more to acknowledge how traumatizing that battle was (akin to what we got with Yang’s PTSD and Ruby’s nightmares before both were dropped), so I’m pleased to see nods to it here.

Sun is just acknowledging how he probably should have brought some friends along when a copy of Tri-Hard lands nearby. Huzzah! Velvet is here! Sun should be pleased right, especially since he was just thinking about how much he needs help?

“Great. Team CFVY (coffee) was here.”

Ugh. Well this is frustrating to read. What precisely is going on here? Sun is the guy defined by “You should always get friends involved!” Then he ditches said friends to chase after Blake. While working through this decision he finds himself in a situation where he’s alone again largely because his team is mad at him. So he’s coming to terms with how much he misses and needs those friends... only to think a sarcastic “great” when someone actually show up to help him?

He’s written as an asshole here. Velvet and Yatsuhashi save him - the three baddies use a smoke semblance to run off - but “Sun bristled at the implication that Velvet and Yatsuhashi had rescued him.” Can’t we have one character with a bit of humility? The writing attributes Sun’s attitude to a competitive school where prestige is everything. Team CFVY’s unexpected arrival and their subsequent fame seems to rankle... but we’re really going to ignore that they’re here because, you know, their school was destroyed and their headmaster murdered? I know that people think stupid, selfish things all the time (god knows I do), but it’s a bit much to have Sun be so over confident that he gets himself into serious trouble, get annoyed when he’s offered help, and then insist that he never needed that help in the first place. That kind of behavior rankles and for good reason. It’s fine as a flaw for one or two characters, but we’re seeing this across most of the main cast. Is no one able to look at someone outside their team and just go, “Thanks for the assist”?

The one redeeming part of this scene is Velvet practicing her quips. I support her attempts to sound like a cheesy action hero.

(Aside #2: There had to be a better way to deal with the team names other than writing “CFVY (coffee)”...)

As the three chat we learn that the rogue huntsmen Carmine and Bertilak may be involved with these shady characters, the missing people with powerful semblances, and I, who has not read the first book, learns about Gus, someone capable of amplifying negative emotions. There’s... a lot attached to that reveal, but I’ll leave it alone for now. It’s not fair to drag it when I’ve only gotten a passing mention.

Alongside discussing Very Important Plot Points, the group dives into Sun’s difficulties with his team:

“Besides, the guys are still a little annoyed with me for ditching them.”

“To chase a girl,” Yatsuhashi added.

“It wasn’t like that.” Not entirely. “Blake needed a friend.”

“And your team needed you,” Velvet said firmly. “After everything we saw at Beacon, with everything going on in Mistral—”

“They were fine.”

“But you’re their leader,” Yatsuhashi said.

“They’ll come around.”

“Maybe you would be able to regain their trust if you didn’t keep running off without them,” Yatsuhashi added, sheathing his great sword.

Sun narrowed his eyes. “I liked you better when you didn’t say much.”

Sun is, again, written as an asshole! It might be understandable that he wants to ignore all his mistakes, but that doesn’t make it any less frustrating for those around him - or the reader. Like admitting that he needs help and then getting annoyed when he gets it, here Sun refuses to engage with the actual problems in his behavior. He won’t admit those mistakes. You ditched your team to chase after a girl. No, no, it wasn’t just about chasing her... Your team needed you. No they didn’t! You’re their leader. Pff what does that have to do with anything? It’s deny, deny, deny. On top of a mean quip at Yatsuhashi. I’m just reading this train-wreck like

I want to re-emphasize here (because I keep getting asks with the accusation) that yes, I do understand that stories need conflict and yes, I do want characters to have flaws. It’s just that lately RWBY feels like all flaws all the time, most of which are never even acknowledged as flaws. Which mean the characters aren’t improving. There are very few moments lately where I feel like our heroes are legitimately kind, or wise, or intelligent, or compassionate, and that’s making it hard to connect with them. Knowing what I do of the fountain scene with Yatsuhashi, Fox, and Neptune makes things even worse. Would it be so horrible for Sun to be happy that his friends came to help? Or not sneer at Team CFVY so much? Or admit that he messed up? It’s the amount we’re getting across the whole cast that’s a problem, alongside rejecting other conflicts that would be much more logical for the story and much more emotionally fulfilling (such as Team RWBYJNR disagreeing about anything). I find it exhausting to watch. And now read.

I did, however, like Sun calling Yatsuhashi out on his own insults:

“Besides, people have attempted [invading] before,” Sun said.

“Back when Vacuo had something valuable, like Dust,” Yatsuhashi said.

Sun whistled low. “Spoken like a true outsider. If you don’t want to turn Vacuans against you, you’ll stop making comments like that.”

Yatsuhashi looked away.

It’s a legit thing to call out. Please don’t imply that our city has no value now that we’re not producing this specific commodity. Sun expressed those feelings in a way that didn’t crucify Yatsuhashi, but let him know he’d spoken out of turn and helped him understand why he, as an individual, should care about changing his perspective (“If you don’t want to turn Vacuans against you...”). I’d say this is one of the better exchanges in the prologue, showing us unexpected sides to each character (Sun isn’t just a laughing goof, Yatsuhashi isn’t the wise Asian stereotype) without them feeling OOC.

We then end the prologue with Sun promising to help CFVY with these investigations. Offering on behalf of his team without asking, that is. I’m sure that will go over splendidly.

As a final note before I sign off, I apologize if these recaps are... bad? Lol. Yeah, we’ll be blunt and straightforward in that description. While working through this I found myself reiterating so much of what I say in the regular recaps + asks, just because these problems seem to be creeping their way into RWBY’s supplemental material too. Doesn’t mean it makes for engaging reading though. In addition, I found myself struggling to articulate thoughts on this prologue simply because I didn’t know what to make of these writing choices. What’s up with that tree? Why are Sun’s thoughts going around in a contradictory circle? What am I supposed to do with all these lines that grind the story to a halt because my brain goes, “Wait what?” The easy answer to all this is, “It’s not a well written book, Clyde” and yeah. From what I’ve read for myself and heard from others, fair enough. But I feel like there’s just enough here - that potential RWBY is known for - that I want to try and clearly lay out as much as I can... even if it still comes out a bit muddled.

It’s summer. I just finished another massive project. There’s a pandemic on. My brain is as fried as my eggs this morning. If you’re okay with the outcome of all that, stick around :D

#rwby #rwde #mymetas #Before the Dawn #BTD Recaps

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darkpoisonouslove · 3 years

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More GxV Headcanons for the Soul (and Mind)

@ the anon that said they’d like to hear more of my Griffin and Valtor thoughts - I have some more that I just remembered. Hot from the oven even though I have had some of these ever since I first came back to this fandom last year.

I see Griffin and Valtor as complementary opposites if that makes sense. She is the water to his fire so to speak. Now we haven’t been told what element her magic revolves around and have only been given some general magical abilities she has so her element could as well be water, though I headcanon her magic is more related with space bodies and draws power from the cosmos. I look at the fire/water duality in a metaphorical way. We’ve seen Valtor’s temper on the show. He is definitely quick to anger and explode while he also can give you anything you want to warm your heart so to speak. And what we’ve seen from Griffin definitely places her temperament under the symbol of water for me in all of its states. We’ve seen her get angry much like boiling water turning to vapor, we’ve seen her be cold and calculating like ice and we’ve seen her being adaptive towards the shift in circumstances. To me she is the perfect embodiment of water as an element and the perfect complementary part to Valtor as she can both hold him back by being the rationality to his recklessness and she can match his temper to match him in his thirst for victory.

Now even though I don’t think her magic actually has anything to do with water, I headcanon Griffin as coming from a realm that is heavily water based and fares on producing crops. It’s what made her so good with plants as she knew all about them from a child and her specialty are herbs in particular. I like the idea that Griffin is actually pretty good in healing magic but she refuses to utilize her natural gift because she is tired of people reacting like it’s unheard of a witch to have healing powers. She got a lot of shit for that when she was younger so she’s suppressed that side of her powers even if it is her best and destructive magic requires a lot more effort than the healing spells that come naturally to her. Now all of this works to make her even more an opposite and simultaneously a complementary reflection of Valtor since his Dragon Fire is the thing that created all life but he is using it for destruction instead. Btw in one of my “drabbles” I wrote that in Griffin’s realm they didn’t have fireworks and all usage of fire was closely monitored due to the production of crops. You know, just for the heck of it as it made her partnership with Valtor an even more interesting dynamic. I even headcanon that she was wary of his fire powers at first just for the fact that it was fire and she was not exactly used to having someone so explosive around her at all times.

Also somewhat on the same topic, in 3x25 when Valtor used the spell of the elements against the realm of Magix, he sent water to CT and fire to Alfea which has been interesting to me to dig into. It may not have held a lot of significance as a choice to the writers but I think it rather makes sense because Valtor was so mad at Griffin about her betrayal that he thought she didn’t “deserve” to be ended by fire which is his element. And on the other hand, he was pretty pissed at Faragonda and there was already one unsuccessful attempt at permanently getting rid of her when he trapped her into the tree (unlike Griffin who he only imprisoned) so he wanted to make sure he’ll be rid of her once and for all and what better way to do that than fire? Also, of course, sending fire to Alfea aka Bloom makes sense and the Alfea/CT opposition of fire/water could have been based on the opposition between fairies and witches. Either way, I like to tie this to my personal headcanon about his and Griffin’s relationship on a symbolical level as well as his rage over the betrayal. I think it makes sense whether that was intended or not.

Speaking of CT, I have a fun question to ask right here right now (that I have actually been asking for over a year and a half now but never shared). Where does Valtor sleep in CT? We all know that he wanted to take everything Griffin had as revenge for leaving him which was why he chose CT as his new headquarters when he relocated. He’s mostly been shown to reside in her office after he took control of CT and only ever left it if he had to attend to something else (which I blame on the fact that the show was mostly like “We’ll make the villains so evil that you can’t even imagine them sleeping because that would imply a level of vulnerability that seems OOC.”) Hell, even his entrance during the confrontation with Griffin supports the idea that he wants to take her place since he made himself comfortable in her chair instantly (and Icy called him the new headmaster later). So after all of this, it would be logical to conclude that he sleeps in Griffin’s room and in her bed which I think has so much deliciously irresistible potential for angst on both parts. Like, it’s her space, her very personal, very private space that he has invaded. There is nothing sacred that he won’t touch in his quest for vengeance against her. But on the other hand, it is her space and everything in there will remind him of her and of the life she’s had after she left him for dead so to speak. Just think about the tragic implications that this set up has, soak them in, let them drown you in angst. I hadn’t shared this headcanon because I wanted to write a fic about it but that derailed and I haven’t found a good way to bring it back on track yet so I decided to finally talk about it because I just need it to be out there in the world. JUST. THINK. ABOUT. IT!!!!!!!

Another headcanon I have about them is that because they were partners and so close (it is strongly implied in canon that they did convergence together and that it was super powerful) and they were also in love and spent a lot of time together, Griffin got a feel of the Dragon Fire and can recognize the vibe it gives off so to speak. She just got attuned to the magical presence of the Dragon Fire and she can sense it even if she’s never had it herself. She’s felt it flowing together with her own magic and tangled so deeply with it that it’s almost entering her veins so many times that she’s learned how it feels and can recognize it instantly. And that is not true just about Valtor’s Dragon Fire but also about Marion and Bloom’s as well. In fact that is my explanation about her behavior in 1x06 when she attacked Winx in the library of CT. Her reaction is too overexaggerated to be normal in the situation (she legit tried to kill them for heaven’s sake) and I like to think that it was because she instantly noticed the similarity that Bloom bore to Marion and Oritel’s lost daughter but she didn’t sense any Dragon Fire coming from her because Bloom’s powers were still pretty dormant after not having been used for 16 years. Griffin thought the girl was an impostor so she attacked because she was mad about the painful memories of both Valtor and Marion and Bloom being invoked by this obviously fake “heir”. And one last thing here that I’ve already written out but it will take ages to find the post - Griffin got so used to Valtor’s fire that is was hard to be without it later so she literally conditioned herself into having a resistance to cold because she refused to be left shivering in the stead of his loss.

(I think I might have bitched about this already but I have more rage to spare and some new points to bring to the table so let’s have at it again.) Now is time for a little rant I have had ever since I rewatched s3 for the first time in the beginning of last year. It has to do with my last point in that regardless of whether Griffin can sense the Dragon Fire specifically or not, she can still sense other magic. We’ve seen it in 1x25 when she and Faragonda both sensed the Army of Decay even though it was still too far away for them to actually perceive it via any of their other senses. And we’ve seen it in 2x16 when she knew Lucy was eavesdropping despite the door that was in the way. That second one especially pisses me off so much because Lucy was a student - aka much weaker than Griffin - and she wasn’t using any magic while she was eavesdropping and Griffin still sensed her even though Ediltrude was talking to her and distracting her at the time. But then Valtor - literally the most powerful individual at the whole realm and possibly the universe at the time AND someone that she has closely worked with for years - teleports in her office which means that he used his immense power and she didn’t sense that and was surprised by him showing up. How does THAT make any sense? No, please, this is just ridiculous. She should have sensed him at the very least. I have no illusions that she stood a chance against him either way but it would have been good if they hadn’t made her look totally incompetent and had also let her throw a spell his way at the very least. They had a good opportunity for a battle there that they totally disregarded and I will be forever salty about that.

We all know that magic comes from emotions, right? Well, I have had an interesting idea which I have already included in two of my fics. What if you can read emotions through magic? We’ve all seen those moments when a character is so mad that they literally start glowing in a magical aura and their rage is tangible to everyone around so that had me thinking that perhaps the magic carries the emotional charge that powered it. And if you get attuned enough to it, you can start reading the emotions tangled in the magic. If they spawned it, it would make sense that there are traces of them left in the magic. And it could make perfect sense when it comes to convergence as the binding element in the spell. Like, we know Winx all have different elements but are able to pull off convergence seamlessly because of the harmony in their feelings. The emotions could very well be acting like the common thing between the different sets of powers that ties them together to allow them all to flow towards the same goal and the spell to be completed. And since I have a headcanon that Griffin is pretty good at reading magical auras and we know that Valtor was literally carved from magic, it would make sense that the two of them would be able to read the emotional charge that a spell carries. I actually like to imagine it was Valtor that taught Griffin how to do that but she got even better than him at it with some practice because she is more in tune with her own emotions and has higher empathy. Also headcanon that they have done that with each other and it helped strengthen both their romantic relationship and their partnership. It was what made Valtor especially mad after she left because that was undeniable proof that she hadn’t been faking her feelings for him which he wanted to pretend was what happened so that it would hurt less. It’s not something anyone can fake.

I also like to think that Valtor taught Griffin a lot about magic and he did it in the way in which he understood and practiced magic. Aka he taught her a more instinctive approach to magic rather than the more academic and removed approach that the magical schools teach. Formal magical education looks at emotions as something that powers magic and thus has to be controlled because it can be dangerous. Magic itself is treated as a weapon or a servant to the magic user which to Valtor seems ridiculous since he is literally made of magic. He was magic before he was a person so for him the two are inseparable. It was exactly what he taught Griffin - that magic is not some tool you use whenever you need it. It is a part of you that you need to accept as equal to your other parts and your consciousness. If you do that, it unlocks a greater potential for power due to the closer connection you have established with your magic. It sort of has the magic user and the magic become one and it is hard to tell who is controlling what. It’s a more dangerous approach because instincts can take over and steer things in uncontrollable directions which is why it isn’t taught in magical schools. Griffin was bitter at first when she learned how much more there was to her magic that her education didn’t teach her about but the more she used the approach Valtor taught her, the more she realized why that was. And especially when she became headmistress of CT, she knew it would be irresponsible to teach young and inexperienced witches that kind of approach to magic. Still, she feels like she takes away from them by not teaching them about the full extent of their powers so she has been looking for ways to include more about getting in touch with one’s own inner feelings for better access to their magic in her lessons so that the witches can use more of their powers.

#winx club #winx griffin #winx valtor #griffin x valtor #covenshipping #cloud tower #winx headcanons #winx club headcanons

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alex-fa-ch · 4 years

Photo

4/52. Our first nonbinary state!

I tried a bunch of new things with this one. Including THICC lineart and superimposing the flag instead of coloring it manually. I think it all looks good tbh!

This was going on in my head the whole time I was drawing this

I don’t have many headcanon ideas BUT

Nicknames: “Dia” (By close friends/family), “Ar-KANSAS” (f you really want to annoy them)

Human name: “Diamond Rock”

Asexual, and not particularly interested in dating

Nonbinary (specifically bigender), they/them

Celebrates their birthday on June 15th

5′ 8″

Can summon gems and sort of control them. It’s hard to explain but imagine them poofing diamonds into existence and yeeting them

Speaks fluent French, both standardized French and Louisiana French. They also speak fluent Spanish, but mostly a latine dialect.

An excellent and multi-talented musician. They can play a lot of different instruments, but they’re best on the fiddle. They also have an excellent singing voice

Came out as nonbinary in 2010, to the shock of absolutely no one

Arkansas, to my MASSIVE surprise, has surprisingly okay laws around enby stuff. The state has been giving “X” gender markers since 2010. Very massively different than the rest of the south

They’ve always been sort of androgynous, many people would think they’re either a twinky boy or a butch girl. Turns out they’re kinda both

Very close with Mississippi, Louisiana, and Missouri. Also hangs around Texas a great deal

They also hang around the other two nonbinary states: California and New Hampshire. Though, they get along much better with NH than with Cali.

Surprisingly fashion-forward, and has a very good sense of style. Of the southern states, they usually dress the best

And will jump at the opportunity to dress up, to show off

Speaks with a very heavy southern drawl, and mostly uses southern dialect

Winks a lot. Not flirtatiously, they just think they’re subtle. They’re not.

Doesn’t curse too much, at least not compared to their siblings. But they’ll still let out the occasional “shit”

In extreme circumstances they might let out a “GODDAMNIT”

Their hair is very fluffy and curly, and is actually a bitch to take care of. They keep it so short mostly so they don’t have to brush it

Religious, goes to church, all that, but doesn’t usually talk about it unless someone asks

#statehumans #countryhumans #arkasnsas #statehumans arkansas #art #my posts #i... am proud of this one #please reblog if you can

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darkdevasofdestruction · 4 years

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New Kids - Kakyoin Noriaki x Fem!Reader

Yes, I finished my exam session. Yes, it was 1 month filled with so many exams, and my brain is shortcircuited. Yes, I watched 4 parts out of 5 from JoJo. Yes, I regret nothing. Yes, I got only top marks. Yes, I love Cherry Boy Kaky, Dio, Caesar, Rohan, Joseph, Jotaro. Yes, I will write about JoJo from now on.

---

“Hey, Jotaro? Do you have any chores to do? Or any homework? Can I help you out with anything at all?” I ask Jotaro as I lean on his bedroom’s door frame. “You’re at it again?” he asks with a bored look from his bed. “Yeah...Sorry about that. I’ve already cleaned the whole house spotless and did my homework for all subject...And even studied in advance. I’m getting restless.” I sighed, looking down at the floor. “Maybe you should find a better coping mechanism. You look exhausted. Have you been sleeping properly?” he asks once again, raising his cap to take a better look at me. “...There’s no point in lying to you, you’d find out anyway. No, I haven’t really been able to sleep. I’m always on the edge, and I feel like if I don’t keep my mind busy all the time, I’m going to go insane.” I explain, scratching my arm lightly. “Have you spoken to Mum about this?” he suggests, but I merely nodded. “Yeah...She took me to the therapist, but honestly, she pisses me off more than she helps, you get me? Or maybe I’m just not meant to go with this type of healing. Well...Holly said she’ll take me out to the cinema and shopping this weekend, so I’ll take my mind off things, so I think I should be good, at least for this week.” I speak as I instinctively tidy up his study desk. “Yare Yare Daze...Have you tried using your Stand? Find out how you can perfect some moves or combos?” he suggested, which made me stop in my tracks and shift my gaze to his turquoise eyes. “You know...That’s not such a bad idea. Maybe it would be a good way to meditate and clear my mind. I’ve been so frantic these past weeks that I haven’t even thought to see my dear Kitsune. Thanks for the idea, Jotaro. I think I know what I’ll do. But...If you have anything to do and you’re not up to it, tell me anyway. Just in case.” I shrug, getting out of Jotaro’s room and going outside, taking out my Stand and trying to meditate a bit, under the tree shade.

The next day, at school, for some reason, I’m called by a random student to Jotaro’s class, only to find out that a new kid transferred to our Highschool last month. Well, no wonder I had no idea about this...I’m in 3rd year, while Jotaro and this guy are in their 1st year. But even so, I wonder what’s it got to do with me? I got in the class as soon as the bell rang, and only the new kid and my old Biology teacher were there.

“Ah, Kat, it’s so good to see you! You look as beautiful as ever...But it’s no wonder you look so exhausted...What happened must have hit you quite hard. Is Mrs. Kujo taking good care of you?” Miss Yui asks, petting my long, red hair. “Well...Yeah. She is a great mother. I was quite lucky, to be fair...Under different circumstances, who knows how much worse it could have been. But...Anyway, why have you called for me?” I scratch the side of my neck nervously. “Well, dear, this is Kakyoin Noriaki, Jotaro’s new classmate. He moved here from another city, and he has been doing great for all subjects, except Biology. Now, you were my best student, and I remembered about your ambitions to become a Vet, so I thought that maybe you’d like to tutor him. It might also be a great opportunity for you to be more sociable and take your mind off of the bad things that have happened.” Miss Yui’s dark eyes sparkled with kindness as she spoke, but I could only gasp in shock at what I was hearing. “Wh-Wh-What?! M-Me, a tutor? I-I-I think you’d chosen the worst possible person. I’m not patient and I don’t know how to explain stuff for others to understand...And I’m really bad at making friends or...Talking. Are you sure I’m not just going to make it worse for him? Th-There’s always Aiko, and she’s an extrovert...And she went to the Olympics!” I suggested as my cheeks became rosy from embarrassment, but she only smirked at me with a knowing look. “Oh, please, Aiko has nothing on you. You’re much smarter than her, and honestly, she would scare Kakyoin-kun here with her volcanic personality. You, however...Let’s just say I’ve never met a calmer person before.” the teacher praised me, which made me look away and bite my lip, feeling my heart about to burst from emotions. “I really don’t want to bother you, Miss, but I would appreciate all the help I can get. I promise not to give you trouble.” Kakyoin soothing voice called out all of a sudden, and I had to cover my face in embarrassment. “O-Okay...Okay...I don’t mind...Just...I hope you won’t be disappointed. I’m VERY bad with people.” I sighed, side-glancing him. “I truly appreciate you going out of your way to help me out, Senpai.” he smiled softly, bowing at me. “No no no no, don’t do that, it’s fine, it’s no big deal. And, uh...You can call me Katrina or Kat. I’m not exactly Japanese, so it’s really weird when people don’t call me by my first name.” I scratched the back of my head awkwardly, but he didn’t seem to have any problem with what I was saying. “See? You’re already getting along! Their next exam is going to be in a month, from the Nervous System, just so you know what to teach him. Good luck!” she waved at us cheerfully, as we nodded at her and left the classroom. “So, uhh...When and where?” I ask, already trying to make a plan for how to go with this. “Tomorrow I finish pretty early, so maybe...Tomorrow, 2pm, in the park?” he proposes simply, while I thought about the things I had to do. “Well...Tomorrow I finish at 3, so if you don’t mind waiting a bit by yourself...Then sure, I have nothing else to do.” I smile gently at him. “I don’t mind waiting. I actually quite enjoy my alone time, to be fair. I’m not a people person either.” he smiled back. “Well, then that’s perfect! I’ll see you tomorrow. Take care.” I give him a military salute before taking off.

Hmm...Kakyoin Noriaki...Not bad...Maybe this will actually be fun and I’ll manage to forget everything that happened.

As soon as I get home, I take out all the notes I have from Year 1 and start making a battle plan on how to tackle every lesson properly, how will every scheme and drawing help and so on. Gods, I sure hope I won’t stutter, I’m so nervous... The only people I’m actually comfortable around are Jotaro and Holly, and now, I have to do this... But maybe it’s for my own good, right? What could go wrong?

The next day, instead of paying attention in class, I doodled random things in my notebooks, as a way to cope with how incredibly nervous I was and afraid of screwing up and embarrassing myself, but thankfully enough, hours passed by faster than imagined, and I found myself already walking towards the designated place, where I found Kakyoin sitting down at the base of the tree, looking peaceful, and seemingly drawing in a notebook. He looked very...Pretty... He inspires me such a relaxing vibe, that I almost feel at ease just being around him. His voice is so calm and gentle... He really is cute.

“Hey, sorry for keeping you waiting.” I speak out softly, sitting down next to him. “Don’t worry about that. I enjoyed myself. The weather is very nice today, don’t you think?” he continues the small talk. “Yeah...It really is. I mean...The Sakura season is supposed to begin soon, I think?” I mention, looking up at the fluffy cloud. “I think it’s in 2 weeks. I heard there’s a pretty big festival, right?” he smiles simply. “Hmm...I think so? I remember Holly making Jotaro take me to see the Sakura bloom, but other than that, I don’t know. I mean, it was really beautiful, but with someone like Jotaro...I guess you can’t stay much and admire stuff, you get me?” I chuckled, remembering how much the boy would scowl at all the girls trying to cling on him. “I see you’re close to Jotaro. I didn’t really see him as the type to make friends easily, especially with girls.” he noted, making me giggle in amusement. “It was...Kind of a forced situation, in a way. The whole deal is pretty complicated, but we had to stay a lot together due to family circumstances, and now we’re like siblings, so to speak. I really want to say that he’s like my little brother...But considering how I look like a Pomeranian when I’m next to him, I guess everyone would say I’m the little sister.” I bite my lip, trying not too laugh to hard, but it greatly amused Noriaki. “I would actually kind of want to see that, I bet it would be pretty funny. Then, how about we go to the festival together, all 3 of us? It would be nice to experience all the new things around.” Kakyoin looked at me with a soft expression. “Sounds good to me! Maybe this time I will actually get to SEE the festival too.” I chuckled, getting out my study materials from my bag. “So, here we go. I was thinking we could go with a bit of a different order to learning, seeing that the way things were taught is a bit broken and irresponsible. So, instead of first learning about the brain itself, I think actually learning about cells, the Neurons, more specifically, then go up the chain list with tissues, organs, organ systems, and their functions. Sounds good?” I suggest, already opening the notebooks at said lesson. “I have no objections. I’m in your hands, Katrina.” he leaned in closer.

Wow...My name, spoken by him, sure sounds good...

I begin explaining the first lesson, with every little detail possible and correlations that would help him understand things easier, and I didn’t realise how time flew so fast.

“Is this how you remember things? By doodling cute little things around the pages of your notebooks?” he smiled tenderly, making me gasp. “A-A-A-Ah...! Ignore them, please! I just like cute things and they kinda make me smile when I see them! S-Sorry, I know they’re silly!” I looked away, blushing faintly. “No, no, I think they’re really nice. I like doodling in my notebooks too. Makes me feel more at ease while studying. Say, would it be okay to ask you to lend me your study materials for a while so I can copy them?” he leaned back on the tree. “O-Oh, yeah, of course! Sorry, I completely forgot about that! Yeah, sure. Uh...They’re a bit heavy, sorry about that, will you be okay?” I bite my lip, taking out all the notebooks and portfolio filled with drawings. “Yes, nothing I can’t handle. Thank you so much for going out of your way to help me.” he helped me get get up as we walked towards the school. “So, when is the next time we can meet up? It’s uh...Kinda the longest and most difficult chapter, and it took me about half a year to understand it 100%...And we have a month now.” I explain, concerned. “Then, as often as possible, correct? I think tomorrow after class we can do this again, what do you think?” he took the bag from my shoulder, carrying it. “Here, let me carry it. It’s the least I can do to thank you for your trouble.” he smiled charmingly. “I’m not sure if you’re an angel, or if I just met a lot of mega-jerks, but I guess I’m glad I got to meet someone as nice as you. Yeah, tomorrow is perfect.” I grin at him.

He walked me to my home, and the whole day after this I could only think of how cute and kind he is.

Boy, I have it bad.

So bad that the whole weekend, Holly kept trying to make me speak, and when I finally managed to say something, she was fangirling so much...So much, even at home, that even Jotaro realised I have a crush on his classmate...

How V E R Y tragic...

Well, at least I’m pretty sure it’s gonna be better than last time.

And so, 2 weeks of meeting almost every day passed by, and in the weekend, we were supposed to go to the Sakura festival. Of course, Jotaro wouldn’t be caught dead to that place, so it’d be only the 2 of us. Fuuun~!

Of course, Holly wanted to buy me a cute, pink Kimono and made sure that I look extra pretty for the day, but damn, I was a nervous mess. Jotaro was nice enough to walk me to the festival and wait with me until Kakyoin arrived, which was at 6 sharp, and made sure that he’ll walk me home, which was very nice of him, to say the least.

“See? I really look like a Pomeranian next to him, and now you had the opportunity to see it for yourself.” I chuckled as we started walking through the festival, carefully looking at each booth and what it has to offer. “It was quite the sight. I didn’t realise you lived with Jotaro. He must be a nice big brother, despite how cold he seems with everyone.” he chuckled, looking a bit absent minded. “Oh, yeah, he is. Well, if you’re curious, I can tell you why I live with him, but it’s quite a complicated story.” I shrugged slightly, walking up to him. “If you want to tell me, I would gladly listen. It does seem like an interesting story.” he spoke, before turning to me. “You know...Pink looks very good on you.” his tender smile seemed to light up the night like the Moon, as he put a very pretty pink flower hair ornament that made my side fringe stay out of my hair. “There, now I can see your beautiful eyes better.” he spoke, but my cheeks for so red that I had to hide my face with my hands from how embarrassed I felt. “C-Come on, don’t say that, it’s nothing of the sort...” I tried to say, but to no avail. “What are you saying? Well, I guess you can’t see how amazing you are, but I assure you, being in this position, able to see you, is the best. Oh, I heard there will be fireworks soon. Why don’t we go up the hill? I bet the view will be great.” he spoke nonchalantly as he put his arm around my shoulder. “S-Sure, sounds great...It’s really pretty, this place. And being able to enjoy it with someone else...It’s really nice. I haven’t been this happy in a while.” I bit my lip, looking away, smiling. “Then, I’m glad I have the honour of being the one by your side.” he chuckled lightly, as we leaned on the big Sakura tree up the hill. “Say...Kakyoin...Don’t you think something weird’s going on?” I ask in a soft voice. “Hmmm...? What do you mean?” he asks, looking down at me with a raised eyebrow. “The wind is blowing softly...And yet...There’s no Sakura petal. And...There’s nobody here. I mean...Don’t you think other people would like to see the fireworks from up here? Or...Put those love charms on the tree branches?” I walk forward towards the middle of the hill to look around properly. “Just relax, you’re thinking too much into it. Look, down there, everyone has smiles on their faces, so there’s nothing weird that could’ve happened, right?” but just as he said that, a pair of hands shot up from the tree, strangling Kakyoin. “Wh-What the hell...?!” I gasped, looking around. “It can’t be...Where is he...?!” I muttered under my breath, as a monster-like humanoid figure got out of the tree and slammed Kakyoin on it. “K-Katrina...Run...!” he tried to warn, but I merely shook my head. “Hang in there, Kakyoin, I’ll save you!” I tried to reassure him, but a dark voice from behind me called out my name. “Awww, look at her, how she grew up! You look even better than you did some years ago. Now you’re actually worth looking at! And to think that you’re all mine...Why, Kitten, what’s with that face? Aren’t you happy to see me after all this time?” the voice that I hated with every fiber of my being spoke, and I could only clench my fists in anger. “Let him go. He has nothing to do with this. If you want me, attack me, but don’t be so cowardly as to take hostages. Honestly...You’ve never been a man, and you’ll never be. Jotaro’s barely 17 and he is much more a man that you will ever even dream of being. You’re just a whiny and bratty little boy who always gets mad when he doesn’t get what he wants. Pathetic.” I turn around to face the man in front of me...My ex. “Stop looking at me like that, you’re ugly. Just be an obedient little girl and smile for me, that’s all that you’re good at. But you’ve been whoring around with other men while I was away...What a naughty girl, you deserve to be punished...” his smirk was so wide, it almost seemed like his face will split in two. “Jeez...Disgusting as ever...” I tsked, before taking out letting my Stand, The Trickster, attack him. “How do you want to die? By attacking your Stand, or attacking you directly? I will let you choose.” I rolled up my long sleeves so I would have better access to my hands. “Pshh, as if some weak bitch like you can ever defeat me. Remember how you used to squirm underneath me? You’ll look just as pitiful now!” he started laughing hysterically, but I could only smirk. “Man...You see...My Big Bro made sure to teach me how to take care of myself. Guess I’ll have to show you not to mess with me anymore....Kitsune, come!” I said in a stern voice, as I and Kitsune’s hand touched, as we fused together.

I made a huge circle of fire surround us, and from my hands, two huge snakes of fire came out, lunging themselves at the jerk.

“H-Hey...What the hell...Since when are you a Stand user too?!” he shouted at me with rage and shock. “Since before you knew how to speak, fuckass. Now go away and burn in hell like you deserve!” I let out an amused breath, before chasing him away. “Urgh...Lame as usual...” I rolled my eyes, before rushing to Kakyoin’s side. “Kakyoin, are you alright? U-Uh...I...I’m not sure what happe-” I tried to think of an excuse, but I was cut off. “You’re a Stand user too?!” Kakyoin’s eyes widened in shock, as so did mine. “Y-Yes...! Can you see Kitsune too?!” I leaned back a bit, shocked to hear that. “Clear as the day. What a pleasant surprise...Ah! Watch out!” Kakyoin put his arms around me, shielding me from something. “Hierophant Green: Emerald Splash!” he called out his Stand firmly, as I heard another scream. “Weakling never give up, do they?” he said in a softer voice. “I heard idiots never give up. I guess both are right, hm?” I gave him a side-smile, as he let go of me slowly. “Think he’ll come back again?” he asked, taking a deep breath. “Hopefully not. I’ve seen enough of him for a lifetime. Ah...Come on, I can’t believe it...You have hand marks on your neck...Damn, I’m sorry. Come here, let me heal you.” I spoke gently as I loosened the kimono from his neck area and put his own hands around his neck gingerly, closing my eyes and concentrating my powers towards my palms. “Is this your power?” he asks in a bewildered voice. “Yeah...I can heal people...My stand is called The Trickster. Her name is Kitsune, because she’s a fox and...And people used to nickname me that a long time ago. Mainly Joseph and Suzie, I suppose...Well. She can mostly create illusions and trick people a lot...But this is her actual, primary power. I supposed that’s why I wanna become a Vet, I don’t know....But...I’m sorry you had to be caught up into my problems like that...You deserve better than this. There, you’re all good. I will go home now. I’m sorry, again.” I sighed, about to get up, but he caught my wrists before I could. “Don’t say that. I’m glad I got to spend more time with you...And learn more about you. You’re a beautiful woman, Katrina, inside and out. You’re very kind and lovely...And I think your stand really suits you. I’m glad that I met you, Katrina.” he smiled softly, leaning in to plant a soft kiss on my lips, which made my cheeks flare up. “A-Are you sure about that? You may regret your decision...And the last thing I want is you hating me.” I scratched the back of my head awkwardly. “I don’t think I’ve ever been more sure about a decision. Will you be my girlfriend, Katrina?” he asked me sweetly, fixing the hair ornament from my fringe. “Man...I really scored the blackjack today, didn’t I?” I chuckled softly, looking at the ground, before shifting my gaze back at him. “How could I say no? You’re an angel, I told you before, didn’t I?” I joked before kissing him back. “Also...There actually aren’t fireworks today, they’re supposed to be on Sunday, but...” calling out my Stand once again, I make a Firework show up on the dark sky. “That can be easily solved.” I smirk slyly, leaning on his side. “You’re a work of art...” he muttered, as he put his arm around me, kissing the top of my head.

---

“Okay, so? How’d it go? You got your exam results today, right?” I ask Noriaki incredibly anxious, as we took out our bento, laying at the base of a tree in the highschool park. “Well...I guess it was decent.” he spoke mysteriously, reaching into his bag. “What does that mean? Come on, tell me, don’t leave me like that!” I whine, making him laugh. “Honestly, you’re more invested in this than I am, it’s amusing. Here, I hope you’re proud of me.” he took out a paper and let me take it. “Whoa! That’s amazing, yo got a 95%! You’re the best, I’m so proud of you!” I squealed in glee, throwing my hands around him, kissing his cheek. “It’s all thanks to you that I was able to get this mark, so thank you. Which reminds me...I wanted to give this to you, as a thank you gift. I hope you like it.” he smiled shyly at me, before he took something else from his bag...It looked like a dark green frame. “I began sketching it the day we first met up at the park...But as I got to know you better, I kept adding things, or changing them. Your face became much kinder, instead of the anxious one from the first time I saw you. You are dressed in the beautiful pink Kimono from the festival, instead of the school uniform, and you have the hair accessory I got you. You hold a fox in your embrace, as your stand is, and on the sky, the fireworks that you created are shown. You’re my muse, Kat. I love you, and thank you for putting up with me.” he put his hand on the back of my head, pulling me closer to him as he kissed me lovingly. “Man...You’re an amazing artist. Thank you, I love it...And I love you. I’ll hang it in my room, so I can see it every time I wake up. You’re the best, Nori.” I smiled at him with a soft giggle, before an angry noise was heard. “Could you keep that in private? Yare Yare Daze...You’re annoying...” Jotaro’s annoyed voice called out from above us. “Aww, how cute, Jotaro! But, you see, instead of complaining about us, I think you should run away before those girls catch up to you and go all over you. It’s not like Star Platinum can help you in that situation.” I winked at him, as he shot me a dirty look, going away. “Isn’t he adorable? What a cute little brother I have.” I chuckled, shaking my head. “Ah, that reminds me...Today that video game you talked about is getting promoted in our nearest game shop. Wanna come get it? It’s no big deal if we skip class and play video games all day, right?” I shrug nonchalantly, feeling over the moon with happiness. “I like how you’re thinking! Let’s go!” he took my hand and we sneaked out of that place, to the game shop, and thankfully enough, we managed to get the game just before they all ran out, so we hurried to his place to try it out, and thankfully, it was worth the wait and money since it was super fun and entertaining. That evening, as he walked me home, I remembered that I promised to tell him the story of how I got to live with Jotaro, and I started chuckling.

“Oh that reminds me...Remember when I said I’ll tell you why I live with Jotaro? I guess I kinda forgot to tell you about that. Basically, my family and his family have always been closed. I’m half-British, half-Italian, and my grandma is the sister of Jotaro’s grandpa’s best friend. Caesar Zeppeli...He died when Joseph Joestar was 19, while trying to save the world from some monsters, but Joseph, since then, has been very close with grandma...And in turn, I’ve been very close with my grandma too, and she’d tell me all kinds of stories, and she would take me see Joseph and Suzie very often in New York. It was always super fun. When I was in my first year of Highschool, I managed to score a scholarship and finish the whole year at this Higschool right here, and my grandma made me promise to speak to Holly, Jotaro’s mum. We kinda became very close, since she’s very sweet and all...But well, around the time we met, my own mother died, and my grandma asked Joseph to let me stay at his daughter...So, she’s been very sweet to take care of me ever since. And Jotaro has been trying to help me cope with the loss of my mother. He’s a nice guy, once you get past that snowman attitude. Besides...His Stand looks scarier than him!” I laughed merrily, having him join with a chuckle, and a kiss on my temple. “Poor dear, you have been through so much already, and yet, your smile shines brighter than the Sun. You’re a true work of art, Kat. Thank you for trusting me with your story. Honestly...I’ve always been such an introvert that even my mum would get annoyed with me. I’m really glad I met you. And I hope Jotaro won’t use his Stand on me...Ever.” he showed a side smile as we got in front of the house. “Thank you for walking me home, Nori. I’ll see you tomorrow. I love you.” I kissed him softly, before going into the house, only to be greeted by Holly, whose hands were on her hips, and her foot was tapping on the ground frantically. “Well?!” Holly asks with a frustrated look. “Well...? JACKPOT!” I said in a loud voice, high fiving her. “YES! That’s what I’m talking about! You go, girl, you got him!” she grinned at me giddily, as we went to the kitchen to gossip and do some sweets. “Yare Yare Daze...The two of you together are horrible...” Jotaro’s annoyed voice called out, leaving the place.

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fly-sky-high-bug-games · 4 years

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Hi! I saw you answer an ask about your OC Alyssum and I was instantly pulled in. I went to your list of muses to go read some stuff on her but the link isn't working for some reason. Care to share? 😁 also what other hcs do you have about her (optional w/mugo) 👀

I THINK THAT’S MY FAULT, I keep tagging her as available muse but she’s technically listed as “npc” on the muse post because I didn’t want to introduce her yet (so far story wise, she only appears through dialog and hasn’t popped out yet, hard since she’s at Highgrove and setting is in Hallownest). However, her muse has been... oddly strong lately, I keep drawing and doing tiny rp scenes with her with few friends just to test the waters with her and BOY IT’S KIND OF... INTERESTING.

She might be “oopsie haha murder” kind of character but she’s also playing the nobility part quite well. She’s “polite”, invites bugs for a tea, a little chatter (maybe even a friendly one, she’s capable of it), possibly propositions, no refusal, nice job offers~ or death. One always gets to choose, acting like they have an option but forcefully narrows it to few and plays on mental and emotional state at such circumstances. Tricky~

I have yet to develop the details of her faction and who’s in it but very few people will be. Wasps I already covered, I just have to work around clan leader that’s in contact with Alyssum. Others would be black market dealers (lead merchant), underground snail-mail (postal snail), one of the weavers who’s good with seals and couple of others~ I need to brainstorm on this still. :0

Damn, I already rambled about this and didn’t talk about her much, hold on *throws Alyss tidbits under read more if tumblr allows it to work...*

She was looked after by Magnolia and basically raised by her, some time after she turned to be a queen. Fun tidbits about Magnolia family as a whole, they are not related to one another (mostly) but consider themselves a big family because they took down the previous queen and king of Highgrove while raising from poverty. However, Magnolia and her followers were never kind and forgiving, but with promises that there will be change in balance of the hierarchy, they got a lot of followers and supporters from commoners to usurp the royalty and did so successfully.

Alyssum was young when this happened so while she was somewhat birthed under poverty, she was fully raised as a noble. I don’t have much of her childhood worked out but there isn’t much to say aside from that she was raised and thought under the cruel but rich conditions of the kingdom.

The binding seal on her wings she earned not long before she met Mugo, almost like a sign for maturity and set under higher position in the family and not just as a student. The seals are powerful magic that uses soul, sewed in with magic by the weaver and afterwards trained to use it. It manifests through the shape of petals: swirling, cutting, chipping, slashing or severing, depending on the number of petals created, used, how fast, how they’re choreographed... It’s all soul but she can use regular flower petals that make less damage but not much soul required. Alyss can also use the wings as a shield since the binding is right on them and actually getting through them with anything is worse than trying to cut the metal open. (like, I imagined in game moves, if you know how THK blocks twice then slashes, she does similar things with wings, where she blocks two times but then bursts open the wings to blow the opponent back to the other side of the screen)

But you know, she’s a lady~ Of course she won’t get her hands dirty. :3c She has others to do that for her~

As for her and Mugo... (OH BOY HERE WE GOOOO~!)

I have to say, their relationship and love was rather genuine, it kind of makes me sad it ended up the way it did... With Magnolia, Alyss (and even Zeeke and his family) still visiting Hallownest some time before Pure Vessel was sealed and before infection went crazy (I canonize, by human years, that that was 20ish years before current events, since Hornet seems 15-18ish years old but who knows with bugs~ I just needed approximate idea for the setting). They were at City of tears but Mugo met her somewhere close to it, as she was hiding away from the nobles to explore the outside on her own and spotted Mugo.

Sure, Mugo crushed on her first but when she tested him by giving away her symbol necklace and pedant of White Magnolia for him to sell at black market and get good money, he refused because it was a memento from someone dear to him. It still is... he didn’t take it off because this is when their love was true and pure... Alyss never forget that either. It was very touching to her.

Their relationship was fine, both shared nothing in common but that was such a fun time for both because of it. They were clicking because they were like two different puzzles pieces that do fit together... but sadly, the pieces didn’t give the right picture when one by the other. (don’t you hate when this happens when you’re trying to puzzle grass or sky together?? *shot*)

Alyssum explained to Mugo how Magnolia works. He didn’t like it one bit, as he ran away from Highgrove partially because they usurped the old rulers and rendered his family’s status almost homeless. Meanwhile, Alyss didn’t like that Mugo kept throwing himself in danger for his job, even if it’s a hobby that means a lot to him, all for sake of survival and geo.

They dated for some time, had fun, but slowly things started kind of... falling apart. The closer Alyss was to heading back to Highgrove the more she pressured Mugo to come with, become part of the family and live with her under riches the Magnolia offers. His counter proposal was, if they’re really in love and she is aware of Magnolia’s wrongdoings, that she would leave them instead and live with him while making the adventures she loved hearing about from him, together. Basically, Mugo put his love for her over riches or anything but Alyss wanted him for herself under the comfort and safety of Magnolia. She couldn’t throw that away, not after building the status and becoming a favorite to Magnolia herself. She thought this was selfish of Mugo but Mugo tried to explain it was for her changing a new leaf and starting over as something good, not ruled by fear and power.

So they started to disagree... argue... and finally physically fight. Of course, Alyss won. Mugo isn’t a fighter. At that moment, it was either she has him or no one does. For Mugo, he could only bark threats. So he did, angered, throwing words he couldn’t even imagine himself doing. When she lighted up her wings, he threatened he will cut them off. So in retribution, she cut him, scaring his face. He saw something or someone completely different then. Mugo ran for his life, leaving Alyss alone.

That was the last time they saw each other, 20ish years ago. Mugo hid away at the lake of Unn and suffered depression and withdrawal for a very long time. As for Alyss... she pulled off something she shouldn’t and Mugo didn’t know about...

He only got one last letter from her, to met her one more time at the Crossroads before she leaves for Highgrove, saying she wants to try one more time and... that she had a surprise for him. He didn’t respond. She waited for him there then left when he never showed...

That was that. :U Until now, at least~ :3 She got to hear about her ex thanks to Zeeke’s shenanigans at the Colosseum~ Oh, what are the odds of the noble meeting and having issues specifically with a certain, scruffy moth~

20 years is quite a bit of time for someone with a heartbreak and power to grow... kind of crazy. Of course she never let go of it. And now she knows he’s still alive too~ Wonder what Alyss will do. :3c

#man I got carried away BUT I ENJOYED TELLING ABOUT THIS #trying to turn this iceberg of lore a bit and open up more about it #so thank you so much for letting me ramble! :D #I will eventually make a muse page for her that works #muse: Alyssum #building lore tablets #I hope read more works.... that was a lot of text #alaska-ren

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veliseraptor · 5 years

Text

it slips between my fingers now, 3.9k, thor pov, endgame fix-it, thanks @portraitoftheoddity for this idea it was a lot of fun to write as you can tell by the fact that I did it in less than a week when I should have been working on other stuff, anyway a lot of angst but there’s a happy ending?

Thor had been with the Guardians for maybe a week when he first caught a glimpse out of the corner of his eye. When he turned his head, though, there was nothing there.

Of course there wasn’t. Whatever else he was (and Thor could think of a number of things he could call himself), he wasn’t mad - at least not yet. So it was impossible that he might have seen his brother.

Because Loki was dead. And the piece of Thor’s heart that whispered you thought he was before - that piece was poison, a deadly hope that could kill (and stubbornly refused to entirely die).

So no - he had not seen Loki. A trick of the light. His brother was far from here, at peace in Valhalla, along with Frigga, and Odin, and the Warriors Three, and Heimdall, and probably Sif as well. All gone, and he remained.

A fist clenched around Thor’s heart and he went to raid the hold for drink.

On an unnamed planet in the Thaumis system, cleaning Stormbreaker of the blood of the creature he’d just helped slay, Thor saw him again.

He froze, and this time he was certain, or nearly: it was Loki, or a shade of him, translucent as mist. He looked just as he had in the moments of his death, frozen in time as he was in Thor’s memory. Bruises ringing his throat, hair disheveled.

A cry burst from Thor’s lips, and as though the sound drove him away Loki vanished into nothingness.

“What, did you chop one of your toes off with that thing?” Rocket asked. Thor shook his head.

“No,” he said. “That isn’t…” He swallowed hard. My brother. I saw my brother’s ghost.

Half Rocket’s comrades already thought Thor was a little mad. He did not need to prove them right. He might have imagined it. (You didn’t.) Conjured Loki from thin air out of wishful thinking. (When you try to avoid thinking too much of him at all.)

“It’s nothing,” Thor said, calling up a smile. Rocket eyed him dubiously, but didn’t question him. That was one of the things Thor appreciated about his new comrades: for the most part, they didn’t question. Did not want to ask probing questions about Thor’s thoughts and feelings.

There was too much, and if he spoke it it would drown him.

“Okay,” Rocket said. “Sure. Sometimes you just gotta yell for no reason.”

“Yes,” Thor said. “Exactly.”

In the dark, lying awake in his bunk, Thor tried to recall everything he knew about ghost-lore.

It wasn’t much. It had hardly been an area of study for him - he’d found the very idea unnerving, and Loki’s pranks at his expense–

Thor cut himself off and redirected his thoughts before he could sink in them. Ghosts, or shades, were rare. There were the undead, like the soldiers Hela had raised, but a true spirit was something else, less common, that resulted only from specific circumstances.

But what were those circumstances? Improper burial rites, Thor thought he remembered. Some unfinished business tethering a soul from taking its proper place in the afterlife.

Loki had not had any burial. And unfinished business? He - Loki’s murderer - was dead. What else…

You. You let him die. You let them all die.

For a moment Thor could not breathe. He had to focus, hard, to make his lungs inflate again, and then again, and again.

Was it possible? Was he being haunted?

Was his failure keeping Loki from Valhalla?

He was cold. Thor wrapped the blankets tighter around himself and bit the inside of his cheek. Let it not be so. Let it be something else, anything else, let it be creeping madness, but let this one thing not be his fault.

When he fell asleep, eventually, Thor dreamed he was floating amidst the shattered remains of the Statesman, Loki’s body just out of reach. His eyes snapped open and he said in a voice like death, “why did you leave me, Thor?”

Thor woke with tears on his face.

The next time Thor was alone, he tried to call him. “Loki,” he said, “show yourself.”

He did not. Did not appear to explain to Thor what he wanted, did not tell him what he needed to do. Of course he didn’t. Loki had never done what he was told. Why should his shade be any different?

Thor wasn’t sure if he wanted to cry or laugh.

Instead, later, when Thor was in the middle of attempting to explain why visiting Muspellheim was a bad idea, there Loki was, standing in the cockpit with his back to Thor, and his voice choked off in the middle of a sentence.

“I don’t understand,” Drax said.

Thor didn’t dare blink, or look away. He seemed clearer this time, more solid and the only word Thor could force out of his throat was, “look.”

The Guardians turned, looked, and then turned back to Thor, to a one with expressions of total incomprehension.

“Look at what?” Peter asked.

“Don’t you see…” Loki’s head turned, and then he did. His eyes looked through Thor, blank and lifeless.

“Are you seeing things that aren’t there?” Mantis asked politely. “That isn’t a good thing.”

He is there, Thor wanted to say. He’s right there, right in front of me, but he couldn’t speak and couldn’t move and Loki didn’t seem to be seeing him at all.

Then Loki’s eyes moved, locked on Thor’s, and widened. His lips parted like he was about to speak.

Drax stepped into his line of sight and said, “I don’t see anything,” and Loki was gone.

For a split second Thor could have struck off Drax’s head. The fury evaporated quickly, leaving a hollow in its place.

“What just happened,” Rocket asked.

Thor turned and walked away without answering. He didn’t trust himself to speak.

What had Loki been about to say? What words were so urgent that they bound his brother here? He feared them. He needed to hear them.

“Loki,” Thor whispered. “Can you hear me?”

No answer. Maybe he really was going mad.

“Thor.”

A voice that reached down through his dreams, drawing him up out of alcohol-soaked slumber. It was little more than a whisper, but he answered its call instinctively, and for a moment he hung between sleeping and waking where he almost believed that the last five years had been some terrible dream.

Then he woke entirely, and remembered.

Loki was standing by his bed, looking down at him. Thor stared back, barely breathing, not daring to move. Something built in his throat and exploded out of him, an inarticulate sound, and he reached out but stopped himself before he could feel that there was nothing there to touch.

“Loki,” Thor said, his voice choked, and the next words, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry–”

Loki blinked at him, eyebrows knitting with confusion as they might have in life, and if it weren’t for the translucence of his body, the fuzziness around his edges, he might have been. Thor could almost pretend that it was one of Loki’s projections, the early attempts.

“For what?” Loki said.

“You-” Thor could not say died. “I didn’t save you.”

Loki just stared at him. “You couldn’t,” he said. Simply, sensibly, and it wasn’t good enough. Thor had dreaded his brother’s rage, a ghost’s need for vengeance, haunting Thor for redress of his wrongs. But it was worse to be so easily released.

I should have. I should have been able to. If I were everything I am supposed to be…

“How can I set you free?” Thor asked. Loki looked blank, and he said, “you are trapped here, when you should...you should be at peace in Valhalla.”

(Some hideously selfish part of him said don’t go. Stay. Stay with me.)

“I,” Loki started to say, and broke off at a sharp knock on the door.

“Who are you talking to?” said Nebula’s harsh voice, and Thor almost snarled. Loki was gone again.

He stalked over and yanked the door open. “What do you want,” he snapped.

“I heard you talking,” Nebula said. Her gaze was direct and apparently without emotion. “Are you losing your mind?”

“I wouldn’t know if I was, would I,” Thor said harshly. “I was busy.”

Nebula shifted slightly. She seemed, Thor thought, uncomfortable. “Look,” she said. “If you ever want to, I don’t know, talk...Mantis is actually a decent listener.”

Thor sighed. It wasn’t her fault. Wasn’t anyone’s fault. (Except his.) “Thank you,” he said, what he hoped sounded like it was sincere. She shrugged.

“If you’re going to talk to yourself, just do it a little quieter,” she said. “I can keep my mouth shut, but no one else on this ship can.” She walked away before he could answer, and Thor retreated. Loki didn’t reappear, though. Thor stayed up the whole night, just in case, but he never came back.

“All right,” Rocket said, plopping himself down across from Thor and stealing the rest of his drink. “If no one else is going to ask...spill.”

“Give that back,” Thor said, gesturing at his flask. Rocket drained it and then tossed it back in his direction.

“Come on,” he said. “You’re dragging the mood down. Get it out of your system and stop moping.”

Thor’s jaw tightened, then relaxed. Hel with it. “I’ve started seeing my brother’s ghost.”

“Your dead brother,” Rocket said. “The one Thanos-” Thor twitched, but Rocket didn’t react. “-killed five years ago. That one?”

“Yes,” Thor said.

“And you’re seeing his, uh, ghost.”

“Yes,” Thor said. Rocket just stared at him.

“Yeah,” he said. “Okay. Sounds reasonable. Not crazy at all. Does that happen a lot where you’re from?”

“Not often,” Thor said. “But it does happen. The restless dead have been known to linger.”

“Seems like maybe he’s a little late,” Rocket said. Thor gave him a sharp look, and he held up his hands. “Just saying.”

Thor faltered. “I wasn’t exactly…” He paused, and said carefully, “I wasn’t paying much attention to my surroundings.” And that was a thought that struck him like a blow. That Loki might have been there all along, and Thor hadn’t seen him, hadn’t known.

“You know you’re kind of fucked,” Rocket said. “In the head. Right?”

“I am not seeing things,” Thor said loudly. “I spoke to him, and he answered me. He is real. My brother - Loki-”

There was an odd look on Rocket’s face. “That was his name, huh?” Thor glanced at him, and he shrugged. “You’ve never actually said it before.”

“Oh,” Thor said after a moment. “Hm.”

They were both quiet. Finally, Rocket shrugged. “Okay,” he said. “So you’re seeing your brother’s ghost. How come no one else has?”

“I don’t know,” Thor said. “Maybe because he’s my brother. Maybe he’s not strong enough.”

“Or maybe,” Rocket said, “ghosts aren’t real and you’ve got a bad case of wishful thinking.”

Thor’s temper surged and for a moment he almost lashed out. He shoved back and stood instead. “You asked what I was thinking, and I told you,” he said. “You don’t have to believe me. But don’t mock me.”

He didn’t wait to hear any response. His heart beat in his stomach, but a part of him wondered if he wasn’t angry because of the possibility that Rocket might be right, and he’d somehow wished a shade of Loki into existence out of desperation.

Loki appeared to him again in the middle of the night when Thor was drinking instead of sleeping. He sat down, or seemed to, and said, “you don’t look well.”

Thor didn’t look at him. “Don’t attempt to appeal to my vanity. I haven’t any left.”

“I’m not,” Loki said. “Only…” He almost heard him sigh. “You left Asgard.”

“What’s left of it,” Thor said. “Valkyrie is in charge.”

“That’s a terrible idea,” Loki said.

“She’s better at it than you’d think.” Thor set down his drink and raised his eyes to look at Loki. “Are you real?” Loki’s brow furrowed in that too familiar expression and Thor’s eyes burned. “I mean - am I imagining you because I want so badly for you to be here?”

Loki seemed to think about that. “Would I know?” he asked.

“What do you remember?” Thor asked. Desperate. For a moment, Loki seemed to flicker, then solidify again. He seemed stronger now, Thor thought. Like glass instead of mist, though as likely to shatter.

“I died,” Loki said. “I remember that.”

Loki struggling, clawing at Thanos’s arms, gasping out his last words and then that horrible crack, his body going limp. Thor took a shuddering breath in and downed the rest of his mug. “And then…?”

Loki’s hands twisted together. Another gesture so familiar from life, from their mother, a tell of unease and discomfort. “I was in Valhalla, I think,” Loki said. “It’s not...clear. But then I wasn’t.”

“Why?” Thor asked. “Why did you leave?”

“I don’t know.” Loki looked lost. He wrapped his arms around himself.

“Is it me?” Thor asked. His eyes prickled. “Is it because of me that you can’t rest?”

“Why would it be because of you?” Loki asked. “I just know that I’m cold, now. I remember sun and light but now it’s just...the cold. And you.”

Thor felt a pang. So Loki had been at peace, and now...and now he wasn’t, drawn back it sounded like against his will, suffering…

Pulled out of Valhalla - back to the land of the living. Cold - like the depths of space.

A spark bloomed in Thor’s belly and his breath caught. Bruce had tried, he remembered, to bring back Natasha, and said he had failed. What if he’d been wrong?

What if he’d been wrong, and Natasha wasn’t the only one he’d brought back, only...only they had stayed just where they’d fallen?

“Loki,” Thor said, and he could hear the vibration in his voice, knew he was treading on dangerous ground, ice that if it cracked would plunge him into black depths from which he might not surface. “Do you know...can you see anything?”

“You,” Loki said. Thor shook his head.

“Anything else.”

“No?” Loki was giving him an odd look, but Thor’s heart was pounding, and he ran for the cockpit.

“Do you have the coordinates for where you found me,” Thor asked.

“What?” Quill said.

“I said, do you have the coordinates for where you found me,” Thor repeated.

“I...might, I guess,” Quill said. “Course, that was five years ago. Why the fuck do you want to go there?”

“Because I think Banner might have been wrong,” Thor said. “I think maybe...I think maybe he brought them back after all.”

Nebula jerked. “Brought who back?” she asked.

Thor took a deep and unsteady breath, his eyes fixed on the stars in front of him. “My brother,” he said. “At least. And maybe...maybe not just him.”

There was a profound silence.

“All right,” Rocket said. “I’ll say it. You’ve officially lost your fucking mind.”

Thor dug in his heels. He argued. He pleaded. He stopped just short of threatening, though only just. Finally Nebula said, “either humor him or knock him out, I’m sick of listening to this,” and Quill threw up his hands.

“Fine!” he said. “Fine, we’ll go check it out. I hope you’re happy.”

Thor didn’t respond, his eyes fixed forward. He was thinking of how Loki’s ghost had been growing more and more solid. Closer to death? Even a Jotun could not live forever in the cold depths of space, without air, or sustenance.

Would Heimdall be there as well? The other Asgardians?

Had Bruce brought Natasha back after all?

Too many questions. At the moment his focus was narrowed to one: finding Loki and bringing him back.

“What are you doing?” Loki asked.

“Saving you,” Thor said. As he should have before. But at least now...perhaps now he could redress at least this one thing. “Hold on,” he whispered. “I am coming.”

Thor had expected the wreckage of the Statesman, but of course it was gone. Dispersed, drifted apart, and Thor’s heart plunged into his stomach. The bodies were gone, too; of course they had not simply stayed in place all this time.

Which meant he still had no idea where Loki was. How far his body might have drifted after five years.

“Okay,” Rocket said. “So...what now?”

“He’s here,” Thor said. “He has to be here...somewhere.” He scanned the stars as though he might see him. “Search for anything living,” he said, and could hear the desperation in his own voice.

“Thor,” Peter said, and he almost sounded kind, “there’s nothing out there.”

His chest tightened. The now familiar onset of panic, and he tried to force himself to calm. “No,” he said. “I am sure...look again.”

“Buddy,” Rocket said. Thor banged his fist against the side of the ship.

“I said–”

“Watch it,” Nebula growled. Thor glared at her, and she looked back at him, her jaw tight.

Something went out of Thor. The ice cracking under his feet.

He turned and walked away before he could break down in front of any of them. His eyes burned, and he found a quiet corner and collapsed into it, burying his face into his hands.

Loki was here. Somewhere. Thor was sure of it. And yet...space was enormous, and he didn’t know how much time they had before Loki died again. Thor failed him, again.

He almost heard the whisper of air as someone sat down next to him, and knew without looking that he was no longer alone.

“Thor,” said Loki’s voice. “It’s all right.”

“No,” Thor said, raw and hoarse. “It isn’t.”

“I’m not in pain,” Loki said. “Only...a little cold.”

Thor shook his head, his throat closing. “Don’t,” he said. “Don’t try to make me feel better. It isn’t fair. It isn’t fair that you died, and it isn’t fair that everyone else…” He swallowed hard. “If you could just tell me where you are. You shouldn’t have to...I was going to save you.”

Loki had a small, strange smile. “It’s good of you to try,” he said. “But I’m not certain I’m alive at all.”

Thor shook his head. “I know it,” he said desperately. “Why would you be here, otherwise? Why would you not be in Valhalla anymore? Why appear to me?”

“Bad luck?” Loki said. He sounded so clear. So real. The sound Thor made was akin to a sob.

“Loki,” he said, and stopped. He didn’t know what to say, other than that, and fell silent. They were both quiet. How long, Thor wondered, did he have? How long before Loki was gone again, and this brief glimpse of what it was to have him ripped away?

“How did you find me?” he asked. Loki shrugged.

“I don’t know,” he said. “I was alone, and cold, but I reached out and you were there.”

“Reached out,” Thor said. “With what?”

Another shrug. “I don’t know that either,” he said. “With...whatever it is that binds us together, I suppose.”

“Could I…” Thor trailed off. “Could I do it? Reach back, and...and find you?”

Loki blinked, and was quiet. Thor reached for his hands, but his fingers went through.

“Tell me how,” he said, soft and frantic. Loki shook his head, mute, and Thor said, “please,” with all the desperation in him, all the grief and pain and need, and Loki flinched back like Thor had struck him.

“I don’t know how,” he said.

Thor squeezed his eyes closed. He tried to imagine Loki: his face, his voice, the gestures of his hands. The sound of his laugh. His knives in Thor’s side, the force of his rage. The feel of him in Thor’s arms. The texture of his scales when he was a snake, or fox-fur, or feathers. Trying to hold everything that was Loki in his mind, his heart aching.

He imagined on the Bifrost, as he had a thousand times, reaching for Loki’s hand and grasping his wrist.

For just a moment, his awareness doubled. He was sitting on the ship, and he was drifting, frozen, heartbeat slowed almost to stillness. Thor sucked a breath into his lungs and he was only himself again, but he still felt it, a tug in his chest like there was a string wrapped around his heart.

He lurched to his feet and strode back to the bridge. “That way,” he said, without preamble, pointing.

“Um,” Peter said.

“I’m certain,” Thor said. “Go that way. Not too quickly.”

Silence met him.

“Go,” Nebula said, finally. Peter muttered something under his breath, but he went. Thor held very still, barely breathing, all his attention dedicated to that string pulling him onward, onward–

“There,” he breathed, because he could see it, just see it, one body in all the dark. “There.” His heart was pounding in his ears, fear and hope warring in his chest, and he did not dare move, as if to move would break him.

They brought him aboard. Brought Loki’s body aboard, and placed him on a table like it was a bier.

Thor drew close, slowly, and looked down at Loki’s face. There was ice rime on his eyelashes, his skin Jotun blue and Thor had never seen him like this before but he could scarcely even care. Just as on his ghost, the bruises lingered, a deeper purple on blue skin. He looked dead.

No, Thor thought. No. Don’t you dare. Not when we’re so close.

“Mantis,” he said. “Do you know...can you tell…”

She moved closer, tentatively, and reached out to lay fingers against Loki’s temples. Her antennae glowed softly, and Thor held his breath.

“He is alive,” she said, and Thor heard himself make a soft noise. “But sleeping very deeply.”

“Wake him,” Thor said, and remembered to add belatedly, “please.”

“I’ll try,” Mantis said. She sounded uncertain, but closed her eyes, brow furrowing in deep concentration.

Loki’s chest rose. Movement flickered briefly under his eyelids. Thor leaned forward, barely breathing himself.

His fingers twitched, and heaved in a ragged breath.

Red, red eyes opened.

The sound Thor made was weak and wretched, what another version of himself might have called pathetic. He didn’t care. He lunged for Loki, seized him and pulled him into a hug, not caring if the cold burned him, not caring about anything but this, this gift, the universe at last giving him something back after all it had taken away.

He could not speak.

“Thor,” Loki said, almost a wheeze, and Thor loosened his hold, pulling back just enough that he could see Loki’s face, drink in the familiarity under the unfamiliarity. Loki looked at him, clearly dazed still, blinking out of whatever hibernation might have saved him. Thor could not tell if he was laughing or crying; perhaps both.

Loki blinked at him twice. “Thor,” he said again. “Where did you get a new eye?”

Thor grabbed him again, not answering. The string around his heart thrummed, and he didn’t think he would ever let go again.

#endgame fix it #thor odinson #loki odinson #wth putting it in the tags #thor is my favorite puppy #i don't know how to write the guardians at all and it shows #loki's a goddamn mess #a wild fic appeared #and then they go rescue heimdall and the rest of the asgardians the end #endgame spoilers

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tanza-the-trickster · 4 years

Text

Starfire Valstrax

Sooooo, firstly, a quick little note. I normally HATE fanmade monsters, so, I imagine it's rather surprising that I came up with one myself. So, this is actually an idea that's been cooking for, about one and a half years. I poured that year and a half's worth of creativity into this post, along with some more ideas just from brainstorming as I made this post. I've finally developed this idea to the point where I am perfectly comfortable with sharing it. So, I sincerely hope you enjoy, and I will gladly accept CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. Hell, I'm so confident in this, that I'll even allow other people to make OCs of it, so long as they credit me or this post. That's all!

Physiology

A Starefire Valstrax’s wings have visible scarring, and the individual jets that make up each wings are able to move independently, to some degree, due to the destruction of the membrane that connected the jets. This causes a superficial resemblance to the wings of a shara ishvalda. There's generally scarring on the chest as well, namely around the vents, and, typically, their back is missing some fins, and the tail fins are tattered as well.

A Starfire Valstrax’s physical appearance has been heavily changed due to an excess of dragon energy. Scales are darker in color, similar to that of an enraged ordinary valstrax. Wings have a gradient transition to bright red tips, and the eyes are black with red pupils. The blood glows bright red, and makes blood vessels visible through the flesh, containing concentrated amounts of dragon energy.

Monster Sizes

Average Size

3,253.65 cm

Small Crown 2856.87 cm

Silver Crown 3555.2 cm

Gold Crown 3745.66 cm

Behavior

Like mundane valstrax, Starfire Valstrax are highly aggressive to most other creatures. However, these deviants are NOT immediately hostile towards humans. They often hold a curiosity for humans, typically stalking and observing some of the more experienced hunters out in the field. They attack MOST large monsters on sight, with brutal ferocity until they flee, or die. A majority of them also have an odd habit for collecting things. Why this is, exactly, it unknown, although they seem to possess a preference to man-made objects.

Human Interactions

Negative Human Interactions

Despite being severely wounded by hunters in the past, this deviant is not immediately hostile to them. As a result of their near-death experiences with humans, most actually hold great respect for the smaller species, and are wise enough to know not to attack them on sight. However, they immediately go on the offensive if they feel “challenged’ in any way, especially by hunters.

Examples of being challenged would be a hunter calmly approaching with their weapon drawn, or drawing their weapon while facing them, but this usually only applies to those who are fully armored, and not wearing some goofy mask. It will simply ignore an attempted “challenge” if it deems the human improperly equipped for a serious fight. In addition, they turn hostile to ANY gunner that takes aim, or anyone with a barrel bomb. They usually allow a challenger at least a few seconds to back down before the fight actually ensues.

In combat with a human, they are RELENTLESS, but, they can show mercy, should a challenger concede, typically by dropping one’s weapon and assuming any position that conveys surrender. However, surrendering will leave you at the valstrax’s whim, resulting in anything from being left alone, to enslavement, to death, and even “confiscation” of weapons and/or armor! In the latter cases, the individual usually has a treasure hoard, of sorts, in their nest. They don’t actually seem to have any real use for stolen items, oddly enough, although they have been known to lob them at aggressors who encroach upon their nest.

Positive Human Interactions Despite their aggression in combat, under normal circumstances, most are completely docile, and rare few are even friendly towards humans! Of course, this doesn’t mean people should come up to one and try to hug it. It probably wouldn’t kill you, but it definitely wouldn’t appreciate it. They have been known to snap at especially persistent individuals, sometimes in very fatal ways. Some may even aid lost or injured humans, especially children, with shelter, or transportation to the nearest base-camp! Just, don’t expect them to let you ride on their back… They see such an act as demeaning, especially if done without permission. The usually carry strangers in their talons, or, more frequently for children, by grabbing the collar of one’s shirt, hood of their jacket, or other similar garments, in their teeth.

A select few Starfire Valstrax actually choose to live near human settlements, should their curiosity be piqued, or a human friend lives there. All of the individuals observed doing this typically lurk around the edges of a city or village, simply watching. Even fewer of this group may even willingly enter a settlement, and leave if a weapon is raised at them, as opposed to fighting. These ones exhibit the most tame behavior seen in a valstrax, seemingly even willing to tolerate the antics of human children! It’s still not recommended to let your child near one such individual. It’s still a wild animal, no matter how friendly it may act.

Befriending

It IS possible to befriend a Starfire Valstrax, and it’s surprisingly easy, so long as one remains respectful of the dragon and its wishes. Aiding one in fighting another monster is a surefire way to get considerable respect rather easily, but such an opportunity is rare, and usually dangerous. The best way to get one’s attention is to approach from the front, hands raised, and fully visible, or, better yet, some kind of offering. Food usually suffices. Make sure to observe its face carefully as you approach. You know you’re too close if its stare goes from disinterest, or curiosity, to caution, or discomfort. Always pay attention to its face, and DO NOT be the one to break eye contact. Once close enough, hold out an empty hand, or your offering, and wait for it to inspect your hand and/or accept whatever you have offered. It may allow you to pet it, or it may simply leave. Do not be disheartened if the latter occurs! Consistency is key! Return to the same spot daily, or weekly, a pattern that the dragon can follow, if it happens to enjoy your company.

Of course, Starfire Valstrax generally treat friends differently than they do most humans. This may simply involve being invited or carried to their nest, to spend time with them, or it may involve being treated like their child, to some extent. One of the more thoroughly studied individuals, a gold crown sized female, who has been nicknamed “Peril” by a human who befriended her, typically falls into the latter category. She seems to enjoy carrying her friend around by the collar, and pinning the human in her front talons to “groom” him. Said friend wishes to remain anonymous, as to retain his dignity. If you wish to learn more about Peril specifically, keep an eye out for the behavioral study on her, that will be coming soon, hopefully.

Abilities

The lack of wing membrane actually makes a Starfire Valstrax’s wings even more flexible than an ordinary valstrax, with each “finger” capable of semi-independent movement. They can hold themselves up on their hindlegs for up to a minute, but can go for hours if they use their wings to brace themselves up. Front talons are highly dexterous, capable of grabbing objects in a manner similar to humans. They can reverse the airflow of their wings, so that the air goes into the wings, and dragon energy comes out of the chest instead. They have proven to be capable of learning some basic knowledge of the English language, although their throat’s anatomy prevents them from speaking it. When enraged, any attacks that normally inflict dragonblight, will inflict extreme dragonblight instead.

Changed Attacks

Obviously, it shares many of the same attacks as valstrax, but starfire valstrax attacks far more aggressively, and gives less time between attacks. Many attacks that it shares with ordinary valstrax are improved in some way, which is detailed below.

Around the World This attack can be executed as normally, but, if the target moves too much, it will briefly pause during its descent, adjusting its angle, and then finishing the attack.

Wing Jab After jabbing twice with its wings, it can perform an additional spin, following the initial one. When enraged, it will perform yet another spin.

Wing Pound When one of the wings is driven into the ground, a second pound may be immediately executed, with either wing.

Wing Slam When the wing is slammed flat to the ground, it may follow up with a second slam. When enraged, this attack will be finished with a final slam, using both wings, similar to shagaru magala’s attack.

Wing Swipe The wing is swung in a wide arc, as usual, but rarely, the wing won’t be emitting dragon energy. If a hunter is hit by the wing when it isn’t emitting dragon energy, they will be pinned. In this pin, the wings are driven into the ground around the hunter, and the jets begin to fire off dragon energy at point blank as they charge up. The pin inflicts dragon blight, and lasts for roughly ten seconds, finishing with a blast of dragon energy, and the hunter being thrown behind the valstrax in a backflip.

New Attacks

In addition to the modifications to pre existing attacks, Starfire Valstrax has a whole new arsenal of attacks. These attacks, just like the modifications to the old attacks, are listed below.

Reverse Blast This attack is used when there are hunters near its chest, belly, and front legs. The air flow reverses so the wings take in air, and after a second, a burst of dragon energy comes out of the chest vents, launching any hunters within the blast radius, and inflicting dragonblight.

Wing Vacuum Similarly to the previous attack, this attack involves a reversal of the air flow. This attack is used when hunters are too far away, and pulls them towards the monster. This can be followed up with unique paw swipe, that will pin and hunter too close. The hunter is grabbed in one of its front talons, and then simply thrown at another hunter. If there are no other hunters, they are thrown in a random direction.

Wing Scrape This is another attack used when a hunter is below the monster. One of the wings is turned around to scrape the ground below it, much like one of shara’s attacks.

Focused Blast Another attack borrowed from shara, the wings are curved around to face in front of the monster, and shoot out a concentrated beam of dragon energy. This attack lasts for about three seconds after the initial blast. There is also a sweeping version of this attack, indicated by the wings meeting off center from the body.

Chew Toy This is an exceedingly rare attack, occurring about as frequently as zinogre’s pin attack, and executed in a similar manner. It is only used when the valstrax’s recharging has been interrupted at least once, and it is not enraged. The valstrax “barks” a few times, before shooting itself at the target with its wings, talons outstretched. If this attack lands, the hunter will be pinned, and picked up in its talons. The valstrax seemingly inspects the hunter for a second, before opening its mouth wide, and biting down around the hunter’s waist, inflicting MASSIVE damage. After this, the hunter is simply held in the monster’s mouth, taking continuous damage while it resumes attacking other hunters. This attack will continue until the hunter escapes, or faints. In the latter scenario, the valstrax actually swallows the hunter, and then immediately becomes enraged. The hunter is still returned to base camp by the felyne cart, although HOW they are returned to base camp is unknown. (This attack was inspired by Monster Hunter Frontier, and suggested by a friend.)

Habitat

Much like a mundane valstrax, Starfire Valstrax can live just about anywhere. However, unlike valstrax, these deviants are generally not nomadic, establishing a nest in any location that they are particularly fond of. Their territories stretch out over dozens of miles, on account of their high flight speed.

Trivia

- The back, chest, head, wings, and front paws can be broken, and the tail severed. - This is not a real monster. I created this from scratch over the course of a year. - The ordinary valstrax theme plays while fighting them, as opposed to the (awful) deviant theme. - ANYONE IS FREE TO USE THIS MONSTER FOR THEIR OC, AS LONG AS THEY CREDIT ME! - This monster is capable of inflicting the Frontier-Exclusive ailment known as Extreme Dragonblight, making a hunter unable to heal, and causing potions to cause damage equal to what they would normally heal.

#Valstrax #Monster Hunter #Starfire Valstrax #Fanmade Monster #Big Post #i put a lot of effort into this

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y-ildthoughts · 4 years

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WHY R U? THE SERIES FULL REVIEW

So now that the series has come to an end, I feel like I should summarize my feelings about WHY R U? the series, because honestly there are a lot of them.

When I heard the initial premise, I was very excited, a series about the fantasy story of a BL fan girl! It seemed like an original idea with a lot of potential for different narratives. A new way for fan girls to be satisfied; seeing their imaginations played out on screen as part of the script, and not just as fan service or in a fan fiction.

When the cast was announced I'll be the first to admit I didn't know any of the other actors apart from Saint. However, the lure of Saint in another BL role was more than enough to persuade me to anticipate the series. His previous role in LBC was carried out superbly. In fact, I learnt that the accent he put used for that series (which annoyed me greatly as a viewer initially) was an artistic choice for that character specifically, which makes me respect him as an actor even more.

By the end of the first episode, I was left with some rather conflicting opinions. Nevertheless, I continued to watch, episode by episode and have finally come to some sort of conclusion. It's a rather messy and confusing thought process but hopefully you can bear with me.

At first, I was off put by the jumpy plot, the narrative follows the characters along at the pace of a fan fiction, with little to no filler to explain how characters go from to enemies to friends in a single leap. The argument I've heard raised against this is that it's -meant- to be like that. Which I can appreciate, and I applaud the writers for their work, but I also think there's a reason that rarely if ever books are directly translated to screen in that manner.

However, I will say that once the relationships between characters- mostly Saifah and Zon - had settled that this style of plot development bothered me less and less and instead I found myself egging on the romantic tropes the two encountered.

As I've said I previously hadn't encountered any of the other actors before but now that I've watched the whole series, I have to say that they put together a really great cast. It's actually also a rather large cast I think, so I'll try to mention the actors that really stood out for me, but I don't think I can write about everyone.

Starting with the main cast:

Tommy Sittichok Pueakpoolpol plays Zon, and although this was not his first professional work it is arguably his biggest project to date. I think he plays the character very well. There is a sudden change in his character from stubborn to endearing; but this comes with the change in equilibrium of his relationship with Saifah and is therefore understandable. Overall, I really enjoyed this character's journey and especially fell in love with his soft boi persona that he has adapted to by the end of the series.

For his first ever professional works Jimmy Karn Kritsanaphan did a really well to undertake such a big role as Saifah. That being said, the characters integrality within the plot was not reflected equally to his time on the screen. It could be due to the point of view that the series is shot from - predominantly Zon and Tutor's- that we don't get to see this character’s development in greater detail.

Zee Pruk Panich and Saint Suppapong Udomkaewkanjana play Fighter and Tutor respectively. I mention these two actors together because putting the more adult scenes aside, these two actors show such great chemistry and tension between their characters, there's a real push-and- pull between them which I think really draws you into their storyline. Also, I think they really deserve recognition for the "hard carry" they did of the series' last few episodes after the corona virus outbreak.

As is typical of Thai BL series due to their nature, I feel that female actresses in these series have to work especially hard to gain recognition for their roles beyond being hated for keeping a male couple apart. Refreshingly in this series Zol played by Perth Veerinsara Tangkitsuvanich has a rather neutral yet involved role in the narrative. She particularly shines in giving a comical and expressive performance whilst maintaining verisimilitude. The other stand out female actress from this series for me is Janistar Phomphadungcheep who plays Hwahwa, is obviously gorgeous, and part of her role is dependent on that. More than that though she executes Hwahwa's brand of "dumb" comedy hilariously well, so well in fact that she easily defies the typical reaction that a female love interest ensues.

And finally, without going into too much detail I also have to give special mentions to Nat Natasitt Uareksit who plays Blue, Poppy Ratchapong Anomakiti playing Junior and James Rusameekae Fagerlund as Kae. Throughout the series these three actors all had what have to be considered scene stealing moments.

Maybe it's just me but all I found myself wanting to do was to protect Blue from his older love interests, as his sweet demeanour is revealed. Junior's "waterfall" moment upon seeing the engineer gang in the cafeteria in episode one really set the president for his comedic moments throughout the series, as rare as they were. P'Kae is the boss we all wish we had, and his protective streak when it comes to Tutor has definitely earned him a place as a fan favourite from the series.

One of the biggest talking points of the series has got to be its method of shooting and how that has affected the entire production. The production was shot live, meaning that each episode was shot and edited before it was released for broadcast each week, with the exception of some scenes. To shoot live requires quite the commitment from both cast and crew, it's also an incredibly risky method of shooting as any number of unforeseen circumstances can occur and interrupt shooting which has a direct effect on the entire production. Hence why live shooting is less common nowadays. However, the team definitely deserves credit for this decision as without the corona virus outbreak I think that this method would have benefitted the production overall.

That being said unfortunately the outbreak has forced many productions to shut down, and of course this has negatively affected the production of this series too, possibly more so than others that are in production stages currently. As such more casual fans of the series that may be unaware of the situation, and therefore not understand the reasoning behind the shift of focus from around episode eight and nine when the virus began to affect production. When in actuality the team should really be applauded for managing to still broadcast such coherent episodes under the circumstances.

Is it a perfect ending to the series; with a broad oversight of each character, couple and relationship that the viewer may desire? No, I would regretfully say that it doesn't manage to reach these criteria, but it makes a damn good effort to try, and this valiant effort is spearheaded by what should be categorized as a FighTor fan's dream. Endless scenes of the two characters exploring the more intimate side of their relationship. Which is actually a rather fitting filler for the series considering it is meant to be a fan girl dream story. So without these scenes I'm not sure that the series stands up with the storyline as it is. However, this doesn't and shouldn't distract at all from the stellar acting performances that we've seen from this series.

So, congratulations if you've managed to make it this far and read the whole review, my thoughts on the series were decipherable enough through the review, I hope.

#why r u the series #why r u fighter #why r u tutor #why r u saifah #why r u zon #saintzee #fightor

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candyclan · 5 years

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My HONEST opinion of Kalvin Garrah

Kalvin talks about how the reaction videos he does are purely based off his opinions and they aren’t meant to actually hurt people. While I feel like yes, that may not be his intent, he takes information from what he thinks he knows about them from what they say and draws wrongful conclusions. He applies the logic “well if you were really trans, you’d do XYZ” which is honestly not okay. Just because he feels like “he’s protecting the trans community” doesn’t give him the right to invalidate people he’s never even seen or talked to irl. That being said, I do think he is correct that there are people who do not experience dysphoria and therefore do not have a legitimate reason to transition (physically) who do, and realize it’s a mistake (that’s why there’s detransition videos out there). This is tragic, and honestly, could very well reflect badly on our community because of how conservatives may take it.

Kalvin promotes the idea that seeing a psychologist is SO important before physically transitioning and altering your body in PERMANENT ways. He also promotes that before settling on “Yup I’m trans” you should rule out every other possible explanation for issues with your body: like body dysmorphia or an eating disorder etc. I feel as if he has contempt for people who are identifying as transgender and don’t actively try to alleviate their dysphoria. I agree with a lot of people who are fairly neutral on this topic that there isn’t a really clear cut defined definition of what dysphoria feels like other than “discomfort” toward gendered aspects of what you were assigned at birth. For Kalvin because his dysphoria is so strong, he uses it as an identifier of his trans identity and an UN-identifier for others. Just because he experiences an extreme does not mean every trans person experiences that extreme as well, and it could be a manageable discomfort, almost like a paper cut (while still uncomfortable, and totally legitimate) compared to a bullet wound in his case.

Because dysphoria is so subjective, it isn’t fair to label someone as a “transtrender” just entirely and solely on how someone looks on the outside. They may have a higher sense of self-esteem than Kalvin did because of how heavily his dysphoria affects him. This may mean that while they identify genuinely as being trans and probably do actually experience dysphoria (even minor) they choose their preferred gender expression over the idea of “passing”. I understand this because I actually have some really stereotypical “feminine clothes” that actually cause me dysphoria to wear but I wear them anyway cause fuck people. The reason I have such a soft heart towards him is because he and I have a shit ton of things in common and also I watched him cry on his YouTube channel. Legit sob. I see his human in all of this. I see his flawed thinking, and his less than perfect expectations of “gender presentation” as a reflection of his own internal monologue “well I can’t wear this because it makes me look girly”

While I have those thoughts too, a LOT, I never project them on to people the way he does in the videos he makes of the “transtrenders” <—- the reason I put this in quotes is because I hate that word (and he admits he hates it too) there should be a nicer way of politely saying you used to identify as trans or thought you were, but actually aren’t. “Transtrenders” has such a negative base to it because it implies the individuals gender identity is illegitimate and perhaps a phase. While I actually do think there are people who may be confused and do mistakenly identify as being transgender, we should never imply another person is this because that’s FUCKED UP. ESPECIALLY IF YOU DONT PERSONALLY KNOW THAT PERSON TO A HEAVY EXTENT. Claiming, like Kalvin does, to have the “criteria to know if someone else is trans” is fucking bullshit. He makes a good point about it being in our brains and there ARE actually studies that prove that is a legitimate thing, he pushes so hard for it to be seen as a mental health issue so “Real Trans People™️” can be provided healthcare. He has correlated it to a mental health issue, and while I personally think: “Idgaf what it’s called just let me have it covered through insurance.” The fact that you would never in a million years tell someone they aren’t depressed/have anxiety because their symptoms aren’t as bad as yours or they don’t experience it the same way, that’s literally what he’s doing to trans people AND IT is FUCKED.

All of that aside, I didn’t know what being a transmed really was until I saw his videos. I didn’t have any real idea how little sense it made that if you don’t have dysphoria...how can you be trans? I hate how there’s such a stigma on the internet about how dysphoria is rooted in EXTREME MEGA DISCOMFORT when in reality, I can safely say in complete confidence that I didn’t have that huge issue like he did. I have top dysphoria but not so much bottom (unless I’m on shark week and then wellllll....death 0.0) ITS okay to not “hate” what you were given, and be in a better mind space about it than other people because WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT and experience dysphoria in different ways and we are all valid as fuck. I feel as if because so many people can experience body dysphoria and social dysphoria in so many ways literally in as many ways as there are people, in order for it to be considered a mental health issue and be covered by insurance there’s this push to try to come up with what dysphoria ISNT instead of the variety of experiences that is gender dysphoria.

So, in general, my thing is, only the individual can really tell (just like in depression and anxiety) whether or not they’re dysphoric based off their own feelings they have toward their AGAB and how it affects them. It’s almost as if he’s just like every other asshole out there that thinks their opinion matters because they’ve gone through SO MANY STEPS to be trans. His transtrender videos really are demonetized, and he claims to not do it for clickbait or shock factor to get people to watch it and that it’s his raw, unfiltered opinion about an issue he actually genuinely does care about a lot. I personally think the videos need to be taken down because it makes him look so much worse than he really is, and honestly what if the person that he’s talking about in those videos actually was trans and they killed themselves because of the hate his supporters dished. Showing their channel and saying that they don’t have dysphoria (in Kalvin’s eyes) labels them a target to abuse from the people that support Kalvin, whether or not that is his intent. I understand why this could upset someone. This upsets me. I feel a personal connection to someone that is using legitimate facts and points to validate his conclusion that some are worthy (that fit his personal idea of what being trans is) and some aren’t (those that don’t) this being said: That is not all that he is, I promise you. I believe “transtrender” is a thing dear god I’m highly uncomfortable with that word but there isn’t another one to use. I would never LABEL someone a transtrender under any circumstances because to do so would be honestly disrespectful to that persons identity and honestly denying their right to explore who they are. So what if you think you’re trans and then realize later that you weren’t??? As long as you didn’t medically transition, you literally didn’t do anything but explore who you are. It is never okay in my mind to label someone as that, especially if you don’t personally believe in how the person chooses to identify because like I said there’s as many ways to experience dysphoria and a disconnect towards your AGAB as there are people. It comes in different severities and different people prioritize change towards specific parts moreso than others.

That being said if you know you are 1000000% comfortable with your assigned gender at birth (not just learned to tolerate certain things/choose to accept the hand you’re dealt or live with it like me and my vag- how some trans people can), why would identify as being transgender? It’s when this “choice to go with the hand your dealt thing” really gets to Kalvin because he can’t imagine is transition being without the whole kitten kaboodle. Is perception of his gender honestly is a huge reason he can’t see why non-binary AFAB people could ever learn to embrace/tolerate certain aspects of their body. I don’t think he fully understands that binary gender roles that may moreso apply to TRANSGUYS don’t apply to non-binary people.

Non-binary people literally do not identify with one gender binary over another, so Kalvin has a hard time understanding them. It is important to note however, he still respects people even if he doesn’t understand. If he didn’t respect non-binary people as a whole, he would be preaching about how “non-binary isn’t even a thing” because he tends to NEED to think in logical terms with facts and data like the similar brain thing (mtf brains=more like cis female ftm=more like cis males) it becomes hard for him to understand the struggles of non-binary people. Non-binary people don’t fit his “mold” so to speak. Perhaps it’s because he once was a “non-binary SJW” in the past and then pulled a 180 and turned into this literal person that tells other people they aren’t trans even though he’s never met them irl and knows next to nothing about them. It’s funny how he claims that detransitioners turn into TERFS when his transition, which was supposed to help his mental state (perhaps it did idk), had him go from non-binary to low key for all intents and purposes a gatekeeper. He from his perspective claims to know it all because he’s trans. Consider this analogy: being transgender is like trauma. People can be united in that they suffer from it or that it affects them, but everyone’s situation is unique amongst all others so everyone has different “triggers”. I’m sorry if this analogy offended you it’s just I was trying to make sense of it the best I could in my mind

@kalvingarrah

#kalvin garrah #ftm #nonbinary #mtf #trans #transgender #discourse #dysphoria #opinion #candyclan #cisknight #truscum #tucute #upset

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