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tinymongerdiplomathumanoid · 15 days

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Obi-Wan: *sitting at the table with a bunch of clones, noticing a couple shinies looking awkward* Oh, I guess I could just-

Cody: They’re not upset about you, they just think we’re not allowed to talk about hobbies while you’re around.

Obi-Wan: *perks up* oh? What kind of hobbies?

Shiny 1: I like to knit, but that’s not actually what we were talking about.

Obi-Wan: Oh that’s amazing, I picked up knitting from Master Tra Saa as a Padawan, she forced Tholme and me and Quin into the ugliest sweaters as kids. My own master crocheted blankets for the crechlings. I’ll have to introduce you to the other clones I know that knit.

Shiny 1: *perks up all cute and sweet* Oh, that would be nice!

Obi-Wan: :) and you?

Shiny 2: I wouldn’t really call it a /hobby/-

Waxer: Nah, it totally counts.

Boil: Yeah. Cody used to make a hobby out of seeing how much he could stress out the alphas before they put him in the corner.

Cody: We needed to know how much we could get away with! What went too far and we’d get in major trouble for!

Boil: Exactly. Our commander is a limit pushing brat. Yours totally counts as a hobby.

Shiny 2: I mean… *sees Obi-Wan’s encouraging look* I run a holoweb blog where I track the finances and voting habits of all senators who vote against giving clones right or safety measures.

Boil: See! His blog is famous and he’s even getting death threats over it! Which is funny cause he always just publishes them and three senators have been questioned publicly about it.

Waxer: If I had the tech skills for this, trust me, I’d make it my hobby too.

Shiny 2: *nervously looking at Obi-Wan*

Obi-Wan: …can I have the link to that blog? It sounds more than just a hobby, that sound useful…

Shiny 2: *perks up* Oh? Okay.

Obi-Wan: Besides, it’s more productive than I ever got up to as a kid. I went through a phase where I wore a Sparvard (Space Harvard) sweater everywhere to trick men into talking to me. I found them amusing. I always told them I thought it was a gay dating app. They didn’t like me much.

Cody: Oh, I love the antagonism of it!

Obi-Wan: I thought you might.

#star wars #obi wan kenobi #incorrect star wars quotes #clone wars #incorrect clone wars quotes #commander cody #the clones

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tinymongerdiplomathumanoid · 15 days

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Obi-Wan: *sitting in a negotiation class, bored because he knows this lesson from his work with his master*

Teacher: Padawan Kenobi.

Obi-Wan: *ready to be used as an example for what not to do in a situation, as usual, sighs* Yes, Master Lee?

Teacher: What is that smell? I swear upon the force I have been trying to figure out which one of you smells like that for the past five minutes. It’s making me very hungry it smells like soup.

Obi-Wan: *sheepishly moves a bowl onto his desk* I accidentally studied though lunch. I had a ramen bowl in my bag and stole Garen’s water bottle-

Garen: Hey!

Obi-Wan: And I found out how to boil water with the force so. Lunch time.

Teacher: *head in hands* Alright. I’ll allow it because it’s not worth it to argue with a hungry teenager.

Obi-Wan: *knows fully well he could start openly eating a full meal in class with the strictest teacher and they wouldn’t stop him because he’s been known to go feral and start biting if someone tries to intervene while he’s eating after Melida|Daan* …thanks.

Garen: Ugh. Now I have no water.

Obi-Wan: sorry.

#star wars #obi wan kenobi #incorrect star wars quotes

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tinymongerdiplomathumanoid · 15 days

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i love the idea of sabine and din working together because just aesthetically they’re basically this meme:

LMAO YES YOU'RE SO RIGHT

(commission info // kofi support!)

#sabine wren #din djarin #star wars

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tinymongerdiplomathumanoid · 16 days

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Time is a social construct pt. 5

A Sequal to Time is a social construct.

Summary: What do you do when you time travel 50 years in the past with your Jedi son, accidentally adopt 3 more kids, and become Mand’alor? Din figured stopping a Sith uprising was a good answer. He just has to unite the Mandalorian factions, repair relationships with the Jedi, and stop a galactic civil war. Easy.

Masterlist

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Din was familiar with accidental child acquisition—so much so that it was becoming a tad embarrassing. But being offered a baby clone of yourself as payment for training an army of other clones was a new one. Din was at a loss for words. Most of his thoughts were some form of intelligible screaming. The silence only served to upset Jango more.

“What do I do?” Jango asked with a hint of hysteria.

Din had no idea. The situation on its own was baffling. It was made worse by the pit opening up in Din’s stomach. The clones were being made- that wasn’t supposed to happen. Din was supposed to stop the Clone Wars and everything after. He’d become Mand’alor, helped Jango, and begun repairing relationships with the Jedi in hopes of preventing his future. Was it all for naught? Was this a futile effort, some amusement for whatever gods may exist? Jango wasn’t alone, wasn’t desperate, and didn’t hate the Jedi. There was no reason for him to be cloned. And yet here they were, a clone army on the way. Din staggered back to his chair and sat heavily.

“What do I do?” Jango asked again, growing more frantic.

“I don’t know,” Din muttered, head spinning.

“What do you mean you don’t know?” Jango yelled. “You’re the Mand’alor and a kriffing time traveler! You have to have some sort of idea!”

“Well, I don’t!” Din yelled, shooting up from his chair as he slammed his hands onto his desk. Din was sick and tired of everyone assuming that Din had all the answers. Jango fell back a few steps. “This shouldn’t be happening, so I have no kriffing clue!”

The room was quiet after his outburst. Din was heaving in breath after breath in a futile attempt to calm himself down. But he was still spiraling, thoughts of failure creeping up from every corner. Din barely noticed someone knocking on his door. His head was hung down, and he didn’t bother looking up when the door opened. There was fierce whispering between Jango and whoever came into the room. After a few moments, it stopped, and there was the sound of fading footsteps as someone left the room.

Din dropped into his chair as someone approached him. They stood at the edge of his desk as if waiting for Din to acknowledge them. Din would rather they leave him alone with his thoughts, but they stubbornly remained.

Suddenly, tiny hands were gripping the edge of his helmet and pulling. Din jolted back, reaching for his blaster, ready to stop them from removing his helmet. But instead of meeting a hostile, he was greeted with a soft coo. The world returned to focus, and Din saw that Obi-wan was standing next to him, holding Grogu. Din’s heart dropped, and he removed his helmet before reaching to grab Grogu. The child, ears still drooping, settled into Din’s arm and tried to wrap his arms around Din’s neck in a hug. Din cupped the back of Grogu’s head.

“I’m sorry, ad’ika,” Din whispered into Grogu’s ear. He looked at Obi-wan, who was struggling to hide his shock. “I’m sorry to you, too.”

Obi-wan smiled slightly. “It’s ok. We were nearby and felt, well…”

Din winced. “I’m sorry you had to feel that.” Grogu cooed and cuddled closer.

“Is everything ok?” Obi-wan asked, brow furrowed in worry.

“Nothing you should worry about,” Din said. He didn’t want Obi-Wan or Grogu to stress about it. There was nothing they could do about it, but Din knew his ade well enough to know they’d want to help. Plus, parents shouldn’t dump their problems on their kids.

“So there is something,” Obi-wan concluded, crossing his arms. Din would have to ask Qui-gon if the kid was always this stubborn or if Din was just lucky to know him during his stubborn streak.

“And it’s nothing you need to worry about,” Din stressed. Grogu grumbled, shoving his face into Din’s neck.

Obi-wan frowned. “I’ve never heard you yell. So it has to be something big. You can’t deal with that alone.”

Din shook his head, fondness swelling in his heart. His sweet ad cared so much about others. “And I won’t, I promise. Just- just not right now.”

Din would gather Silas, Jango, and Qui-gon later- probably after telling Silas to corner and talk to Jango. Din was so focused on changing the future that it was hard to consider situations in the present moment. Din was sure they could use the situation to their advantage- like hell, he was letting Jango’s clones become an army for the Republic. He had a feeling Mandalore was about to have a population boom. That would only make dealings with the Republic more fun. Din doubted any Mand’alors before him had to deal with spies, Sith, and clones. Lucky him.

“The Force—“ Obi-wan hesitated as he gathered his thoughts. It’s been tense, for lack of a better word. It's like we’re on the edge of a cliff and one move away from falling down.”

That was a pretty apt description of the current situation. But Din would appreciate it if the Force left his ade out of it.

“There have been some unfortunate developments,” Din said.

“And Jango is involved in them?” Obi-wan asked.

“Yes, but it’s not really his fault,” Din explained. I shouldn’t have yelled.” Din stood from his seat and shifted Grogu to one arm so he could grab his helmet. “I should apologize.”

“Maybe give it a bit,” Obi-wan suggested. “Give each other time to cool down.”

“Your Jedi training teach you that?” Din asked as he pulled his helmet back on.

“Sort of,” Obi-wan admitted, sheepishly tugging his Padawan braid. “I. uh, may have gotten into many fights as a youngling.”

Din chuckled as he walked out of the room. That wasn’t surprising in the least. Obi-wan was feisty- probably would have made a good Mando’ade in another life. The thought of a baby Obi-wan sulking after being told to cool off was a cute one. Din made a mental note to ask Qui-gon for baby pictures.

“There was another child in my covert the same age as me,” Din shared as he led Obi-wan towards the kitchen to grab mid-meal. Grogu perked up —Din rarely told many stories about his time as a foundling. “We argued a lot. The Goran told us to work it out in the sparring ring.”

“So you two fought a lot, then? Did you ever start to get along?”

“The first few fights were real. But we managed to become something like friends-sparring buddies.” Din looked fondly back on his childhood rivalry with Paz. They had grown apart as the two had grown older, and Din eventually took up the mantle of beroya. Being a child had been so much easier.

“When we get frustrated or mad, we are taught to meditate and release those feelings into the Force. Sparring is good-natured competition. Mostly.” Obi-wan added that caveat quickly enough that Din suspected that Obi-wan was involved in some non-friendly sparring.

“Different methods. Both are fine,” Din said as they reached the kitchens. Grogu tried to jump out of his arms at the smell of food. But Din, who was wise to Grogu’s tricks, held tight. Not that it mattered too much. The second they stepped in, a nearby cook was cooing over Grogu and offering the child a biscuit. Din, fully aware the people who swore to him would probably commit treason for Grogu, allowed it.

“You spoil him,” someone spoke from behind Din. Din turned to see Qui-gon standing serenely with his hands tucked into his robe’s sleeves.

"Yes, and?”

“And nothing,” Qui-gon said with a chuckle. “All children should be spoiled a bit, I suppose.” Obi-wan looked offended. Din guessed Qui-gon wasn’t one to spoil his own Padawan.

“Here for mid-meal?” Din asked as he accepted a tray of food for himself and Grogu to take to his rooms to eat.

“Among other things,” Qui-gon said in his mysterious ‘the Force told me some interesting information, but I won’t outright say it to maintain my mysterious persona’ voice. Din mourned the days he wasn’t so proficient in reading the body language of Jedi.

“I think I felt the same thing,” Obi-wan said as he grabbed his own plate of food. “It’s why Grogu and I went to find Din in the first place. But he won’t tell me what the problem is.”

“Don’t pout, Padawan,” Qui-gon reprimanded with a fond smile. “I’m sure the Mand’alor has his reasons.” Qui-gon looked at Din with an expression that read ‘I hope I get to know those reasons.’

“Food first,” Din said, and he left the kitchen. “Then I’ll call Jango and Silas for a meeting. Maybe the other Jedi, too.”

Qui-gon nodded. “I will let Master Tholme know. And perhaps our Padawans can find a productive use of their free time? Maybe meditating on the matter to see if they can glean their own information.”

Obi-wan sighed. “Yes, Master.”

Din gently bumped Obi-wan. “Get Satine and Bo to join you. Good practice for them.”

The mind healers Satine and Bo-Katan had been seeing had suggested that trying meditation may help them better process their feelings, especially after everything that had happened over the last few months. Satine had taken to it, but Bo-Katan was still struggling, arguing that sitting and breathing were useless when she could be training. Din, while not the best role model in the situation, had done his best to emphasize the importance of listening to the professionals.

“Sounds like a good plan. I will see you later, Mand’alor.” Qui-gon bowed and walked off. Din realized the man had never grabbed any food. Must have just been trying to track Din down.

It wasn’t a meeting Din was looking forward to. Just the thought of the clones sent his heart racing, and he wished he could ignore it completely. But he had more than himself to be concerned with. If Din didn’t do anything, the pain his ade would go through would be insurmountable. It was Din’s responsibility to prevent that, even if it was horrible for his blood pressure.

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#mand'alor din djarin #qui gon jinn #star wars #grogu #obi wan kenobi #din darjin #time travel #jango fett #anakin skywalker

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tinymongerdiplomathumanoid · 16 days

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Time is a Social Construct Masterlist

teaser

Keep reading

#star wars

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tinymongerdiplomathumanoid · 16 days

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I headcanon that all of Yoda's finest teacups were made by younglings

In fact most masters of the order's finest teacups were made during crèche crafting time when the kids were learning pottery.

#shaak ti #mace windu #obi wan kenobi #star wars #Jedi #jedi younglings #Jedi order

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tinymongerdiplomathumanoid · 29 days

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Kind of want a fic where Biggs Darklighter accidentally reveals early that Obi wan is alive to the rebellion after pointing to the last known photo of General Kenobi and his troops and saying how ‘that guy looks just like old Ben Kenobi, the wizard who lives out in the sand dunes’ without realising the chaos he’s just caused.

#obi wan kenobi #biggs darklighter #ben kenobi #star wars

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tinymongerdiplomathumanoid · 1 month

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"star wars is about redemption" "star wars is about hope" "star wars is about love"

star wars is about finding new and exceedingly complicated ways to inflict psychological trauma on Boba Fett

#star wars #bobf #the clone wars #boba fett

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tinymongerdiplomathumanoid · 1 month

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'Desert hermit Ben Kenobi develops a reputation as a crazy wizard because he keeps talking to thin air.'

No. This is Tatooine, talking to yourself is hardly the weirdest thing they've seen. Ben Kenobi, however, keeps having full on fucking screaming rows with thin air and seemingly gets replies back, which is decidedly a step up.

(They've managed to piece together that a major point of contention is the acquisition and raising of a child? Clearly Ben is a wizard that had a bitter divorce with a desert spirit and is working through a custody dispute)

#star wars #kenobi show #force ghosts #obi wan kenobi #qui gon jinn

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tinymongerdiplomathumanoid · 1 month

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I think it would be very funny if after Obi-Wan kills Maul in Rebels, an entire small army of Mandalorians turned up in the desert (led by Sabine, who got tipped off by Ezra) to harass him into becoming the rightful leader of their government

#Star Wars #au #Obi wan Kenobi #quinlan vos #commander cody

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tinymongerdiplomathumanoid · 1 month

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Hi I have another stupid insane plot idea

OKAY SO. Inspiring facts of canon:

We all remember that Dooku is like 20yrs older than Palpatine, yes? (I have been informed that is is not actually common knowledge as I thought. Dooku's born 102bby and Palps is 84bby. Please do not comment only to express shock at the ages.)

We also all know that Dooku is one of the most prolific masters (not counting Yoda) in terms of Number Of Apprentices Taught, which means that he really enjoys teaching/guiding younger people into becoming the best version of themselves (even if that's sometimes the best Sith possible, like Ventress), despite some Notable failures.

Situation: Dooku time-travels to his own twenties or thirties. Could be physical (Knight Dooku meets The Count) or mental (Dooku wakes up with sixty years of memories), but he's There.

Important Factor: Palpatine is YOUNG. Like, a teenager at MOST.

Plot Shape: Dooku has a New Project. He is going to harass this very young politician/actual child into not being a shitheel, and drag his current apprentice (probably Rael) into helping.

If Palps is sixteen or something, he's already in politics, because Naboo. If Palps is like... four, then Dooku might just Pick Him Up as a new Initiate for the Temple.

Bonus points: Skeevy Sheev is also a time-traveler, specifically of the mental variety, and loathes that Dooku is exerting his age like this. It's Undignified! The man is trying to mentor him! SIDIOUS IS MEANT TO BE THE MASTER, NOT THIS JEDI REJECT.

I just need Dooku's "I can fix him" mentoring energy to smack into teenybopper Sheev at full force.

#count dooku #dooku #sheev palpatine #palpatine #darth sidious #time travel #Star Wars

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tinymongerdiplomathumanoid · 1 month

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APLAP (Assigned Pathetic Lifeform at Padawanship)

New padawan Obi-Wan trying to figure out how the FUCK to make his master listen and not abandon him to go running off following "the will of the force" when it hits him. Qui-Gon is perfectly happy stopping and taking care of pathetic life forms, but not Obi-Wan. That's it. He's always been prepared, always been dutiful, strong, self-sufficient.

He's cracked the code. He needs to be more pathetic.

The next time he senses Qui-Gon's about to run off he coordinates a scene of utmost pathetic-ness, that is, he throws himself into the nearest fountain. He trudges up to his master sopping wet, water-logged robes swallowing him, with hair sticking to his face and containing bits of algae from the fountain. He mumbles out an apology for being clumsy before looking up at Qui-Gon with the biggest, most woeful eyes possible to ask if he happened to bring any spare robes (he didn't, Obi-Wan knows this because he is usually the one to pack spare robes for them both). His wet hair is dripping water into his eyes that's beginning to turn them an irritated red, and there's algae sliding down the side of his face, it really is masterful work.

"Oh...I'm sure I'll be able to find something by myself, it's okay Master, I know you had important work to do."

Qui-Gon visibly hesitates. Obi-Wan starts shivering. He turns to walk away. He's stopped by his Master's hand on his shoulder. His Master, who walks back with him, who gets clean clothes from their hosts, who has folded like wet flimsi and even explains his stupid, stupid plan before choosing to hotwire a hoverbike with a passenger seat! Oh, Obi-Wan really has cracked the code!

Afterwards, Obi-Wan stages an increasingly pitiful accident for himself every time his patented 'Qui-Gon Jinn Bullshit' detector goes off. Eventually, his Master stops leaving him behind at all, even giving him funny looks when he turns around and Obi-Wan isn’t next to him. It never fails to make Obi-Wan grin and run to catch up. Sure, his reputation as a perfect padawan is in tatters, alongside his dignity, but it’s a small price to pay for a place at his Master’s side, for him to remember there’s a place for Obi-Wan there.

When the ray shields come up on Naboo, Qui-Gon doesn't charge ahead and leave his padawan behind, he hasn't for years. He waits for Obi-Wan because it feels wrong to do otherwise, his padawan belongs at his side.

Much, much later, when Obi-Wan is drinking to the end of the war with friends, Commander Cress will ask him how he kept General Jinn from running off for entire decade. Obi-Wan laughs, informs him, and resolutely ignores the scene Quinlan is making as the man cackles and pulls up a book to shove at them both, titled Classical Conditioning 101: A guide to subtle psychological manipulation.

#star wars #the clone wars #Obi wan Kenobi #qui gon jinn

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