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#incorrect tolkien quotes
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Post Miriel’s release:
Rando elf, impressed with Miriel’s argument in a court session: i’m surprised you did so well, considering you spent thousands if years in the halls.
Miriel: *pauses* Finwe and i raised the Noldorin kingdom from the ground up and you though i can’t argue in court?
Miriel: Bitch, i made the court!
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thranduilswifesblog · 23 hours
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Celeborn : *trying to flirt* who's your daddy....
Galadriel : your father in law, Finarfin
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fvck-the-patriarchy · 8 months
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Thorin, at Y/n: Would you like to stay for dinner?
Fili and Kili, from the kitchen: Would you like to stay forever!?!
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Bilbo: You have to apologise to Thranduil.
Thorin: Fine.
Thorin: Unfuck you, or whatever.
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The Lord of the Rings + Tumblr Text Posts
Part 2
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sauronnaise · 3 months
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Legolas: Merry Christmas!
Gimli: Merry Christmas!
Sam: Merry Christmas!
Frodo: Merry Christmas!
Merry: Merry Christmas!
Pippin: Pippin Christmas!
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Legolas: I kissed Gimli.
Aragorn: Wow.
Aragorn: I owe Gandalf so much money.
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maeofthenoldor · 1 year
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Boromir : I sleep with my sword next to my side
Aragorn : I sleep with a knife
Legolas : Both of you are pathetic
Boromir : Oh yeah? What do you sleep with?
Legolas : Gimli.
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vildo · 30 days
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Fëanor: no one’s dying on my watch
Fëanor: go die somewhere I can’t see you
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Have you ever wondered if elves comprehend human jokes or sarcasm?, like for example when we are so pissed off we say things out of rage and don't truely mean it..
*plan not going well*.
Human:*pissed* I'm gonna k!ll myself.
Elf:*visibly concerned* why would you do that?!.
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Ngl, obsessed with the idea that the questers know that legolas is, if not thousands of years, then centuries old, but it not regestering until he mentions having met their ancestor or a historical figure to them. It doesn’t help that legolas looks like a teenager.
Just like that scene with eowyn realizing aragorn is a legit grandpa but with legolas and the rest of the walkers instead.
Legolas: i never had the pleasure of having a conversation with the man, but from the brief glimpses of (insert boromir’s ancestor from 1000 years ago here) that i saw, he was an honorable man.
Boromir, bluescreening: yes, he was known as quite the chivalrous man. But for you to have met him you must be at least a thousand years old!
Legolas: *clicks tongue and doesn’t say anything with an amused smile*
Aragorn, who has gone through all these emotions already: older.
Gimli: Older?? Are you telling me that this beardless, pointy elf with a face of a teenager is, what? 2000?
Aragorn: more.
Gimli: MORE???
Merry: if he is close to 3000 years than he was probably born around the last war for the ring!
Legolas, enjoying this all immensely: i was old enough to fight in it actually.
Pippin: alright, so legolas is 3000 and a few centuries. That’s a lot older than i thought to be honest. He looked like the youngest elf in rivendale.
Legolas: i’m 4000, actually.
Gimli: GODDAMN IT! I knew we shouldn’t trust these babyfaced point ears! You can’t even tell their age!
Legolas: if it makes you feel better, other elves also have a hard time discerning the age of silvans. They’ve routinely thought of mine to be millenia younger that we actually are.
Boromir, having an existential crisis: what the fuck
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thranduilswifesblog · 6 months
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Legolas : lord Elrond, can I and the rest of Mirkwood's peopls stay at imladris for couple days?
Elrond : why?
Feren : King Thranduil played with ouija board and cursed our kingdom
Legolas : My adar doesn't know how to banish spirits, so he just throws salt at random places and yell "DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A FUCKING HOTEL TO YOU?????!!"
Elrond : .....
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me after reanimating the corpse of tolkien: so later on in the show, galadriel’s new bestie, halbrand, is revealed to be sauron, which kind of erases celebrimbor as a character and his contribution to the main conflict
tolkien: that’s what you’re worried about when two of the beatles are still living? go finish the job
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fvck-the-patriarchy · 8 months
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Kili: Look, I know you think my judgement's clouded because I like Y/n a little bit.
Thorin, holding Kili's notepad: You doodled your wedding invitation.
Kili: No, that's our joint tombstone.
Thorin: My mistake.
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Maedhros: Yesterday I overheard Celegorm saying "are you sure that's a good idea?" and Curufin replying "trust me" Maedhros: I have never moved from one room to another so quickly in my life
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