#im really really tired and i dont want it to affect my art because i love my art
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i wanted to make a new proper redesign for wendy, and ended up abandoning it because of my fucking episode that makes me not only miserable but also makes me hate my art. so ive made some sketches with my other main characters. idk if ill commit to these designs, we'll see
#fallout#fallout new vegas#fnv#oc: wendy#oc: aletus#oc: sharky#i hate hate hate the mental state im in rn#im just don't know why it gets worse theres literally nothing bad happening to me but i feel fucking awful grrrhrhrrhrh#im really really tired and i dont want it to affect my art because i love my art#and my characters#and i can't enjoy the only thing that keeps me grounded and its haunting#just gotta keep through and stop dumping in tags#i was almost tempted to give aletus a mullet too btw#a devil crafting his masterpiece through my mortal hands
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can you show us the art? if you're comfortable to, i'm sorry your friends reacted with that. Even if they're trying to help you improve from their perspective it's not something that should be done unprompted and that sucks they did that :( i'm sure your art is lovely and i hope you continue to make the art that makes you happy :)
Aw thanks. I don't really wanna show it here, just because people might recognize it and I don't want my art tied to my anonymous tumblr. It was a small animation- one of my first- and I made it without any animation software on my phone.
It was okay that they did that, just felt really bad because I worked so so hard on it and was already super frustrated from all the mistakes I fixed before even showing them :( I learned a lot about animating though so I still consider it a success.
#idk now i dont want comiments about it either#it just feels wrong#like i still value the art i made because it made me better and i at least know that i put my all into it#but sometimes it all feels so not worth it#idk im just tired#i never really thought about what i wanted out of my art#i think i just want it to inspire people#i want them to see my art and feel what i was trying to convey#but that never happens and the more i try the more isolated i feel#idk i have a lot of mixed feelings about criticism too#because obviously it can be useful. but i cant take criticism from people im close to#im aware that its a flaw but what can i do about that?? i cant just be less sensitive because#because the only reason im so sensitive is that i care so so much what these people think. i admire and respect them so deeply#and thats a direct affect of my sensitivity. i dont want to lose that.#maybe what i really want out of my art is just to make me happy. to be a part of creating something#and if im lucky other people will see that too
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i have such mixed feelings on osc headcanons. some of them are like "oh! i think pen likes mint ice cream!" and thats fine. but i really hate it when people change pronouns of characters (IVE SEEN PEOPLE USE SHE/HER WHEN REFERING TO SILVER SPOON. LET THE MAN BE A MAN IF HE WANTS TO BE A MAN.) and changing sexualities/adding sexualities, but what makes me the most furious is... people making characters autistic. nothing against autism, i understand that, but do you really need to make paper, fan, silver spoon, pen, etc. autistic just because they have specific interests or act... idk, just the way they act?! its just. it doesnt make sense to me. hc's that dont affect story are fine, but ones that completely flip the story or ignore anything confirmed by the employees. EX: "i headcanon that mic and knife are in a relationship!" that completely ignores the fact that some of the pride month art shows that knife is gay. Cakebrunch (official II storyboarder) confirmed that soap and mic are in a relationship.
it pains me so much to see a lot of cute art and some really interesting headcanons (that i sometimes would love to learn more on) and then its just changing their pronouns, sexualities and making them autistic. make as many autistic characters you want, yeah! its great to support autism! but you dont have to make every character autistic, okay? (directed towards people that hc lots of characters as autistic)
im sure this is controversial but like... im sorry i just need to rant im tired
-🐝
(why do i have a feeling that like. half of the osc community that ends up seeing my asks/confessions are going to hate me?)
.
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Wdym treating it like tik tok /gen
very simply. Reblogs are what keep this website alive, there are no rules to reblogging things. You can reblog things from mutuals, not mutals, you can talk in the tags. whatever you wanna do, as long as you reblog. that completely fine, thats what tumblr was made for. Whereas social medias [and I refer to tumblr as social media super loosely here] nowadays rely on likes as engagement. Liking things on tumblr is used for posts such as vents or stuff like that. Not for things that people make. I'm not calling it content, we arent getting paid for what we make we are not content creators. we are artists. No matter what thing we use to make our art- if youre a writer, painter, digital artist, photographer, whatever!
People make things for themselves, they share them for other people. You don't make an entire four course meal just for yourself, you dont spend hours making a cake just to leave it sitting on your kitchen table. Likes are not visible on tumblr and if yours are, nobody is going to go into your blog and click on your likes. nobody is doing that, like ever. So you like a bit of fanart and it stays in your likes, unseen forever. Where as with a reblog, you are showing that fanart to other people for them to then show other people. your reblogs are visible because they're visible on your dash.
People who create things, artists on tumblr thrive on reblogs for other people to see their things. Using the analogy of the cake again.
Likes are you putting the cake behind a glass wall and going "thats a nice cake."
Reblogs are you cutting the cake up and sharing it with other people, telling them the recipie.
People thinking that likes do anything other than just, staring at the artist. Reblogs are showing other people going "look at how cool this person is! this is where you can find more cool things!". Tumblr is not tiktok its made for people to reblog things.
your blog is your house, why wouldnt you want to decorate it with things you love? this is not some celebs house with crisp white walls. Have fun! reblog stuff!
Now dear anon, Im gonna adress you and other people reading this directly. Say you spend hours making something that you really love, your bleary eyed, youre tired and hungry and so fucking proud of what you made. So you go and so super excitedly show it to your friends. youre beaming and all wide eyed with joy, you have the joy of creation pulsing through your veins...and they just. stare. they all look at you. Maybe, if youre lucky, one of them will raise a disconnected, bothered lackluster thumbs up. How does that make you feel? Do you feel the joy drain out of your body? do you feel that lack of dopimine in your brain? do you want to pick up your pen again? do you want to put your time and effort into something that you feel like nobody cares about it?
Now, different situation. You spend hours making something that youre proud of, you go running to your friends going "look! look what I did!" and they all irrupt into this joyous laugh, they praise you, people freak out at you, you get affection. you get a reward. You walk into the kitchen the next day and the stuff you made is posted on the fridge along with sticky notes.
Thats how it feels to be a creative nowadays on tumblr. You spend hours working on a fic or a request or gifs or video edits or what have you. And if youre lucky you will get like, 3 reblogs and one of those are you re-reblogging. For example, here are the likes/reblog ratios from my most recent fics
My dead girl adam Cole Au- 4k words for one chapter
An adam sqaured request- 2k words
A hangkenny fic- 4k words
See anything similar? theres more likes than reblogs. People will stop making things if people dont stop treating likes the way they work on tiktok. Your likes are blocking up artists and then people who dont make things, get pissed when people stop.
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Day 140
Just some art about how I've been feeling recently. I don't really know how to fix this so I create art.
I actually like this. Drawing naked torsos is surprisingly fun
vent/rant under the cut
I was practically taught this by people who just "couldnt help it". Couldn't fucking respect a boundary and stop thinking with their dick for once.
Sometimes I feel as if Im nothing more than my body and Im only made to pleasure.
Doesn't help that a friend of mine since elementary has been talking about my fucking body to my friends. She's already been getting on all of our nerves and I don't know what to do. I want to scream and cut everything off with her, but I genuinely dont feel safe enough to. I worry what she'd do to me.
Fuckin bitch
Anywho, Im fine, everythings fine. Im just tired and angry about it because I feel like its affecting me too much and Im not preforming how I should
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ive been trying to distance myself from talking in social media, i havent been well, im still not if i have to be honest, and while i dont think its affecting me directly, its probably for the better that i dont engage much or at all in whatever is happening in the screen in front of me, right now actually id love to log off not just from the online world but from real life too, but i cant do that the way id like to, so ive been limiting myself to posting my art, because thats the only thing i want right now
ive been struggling really badly with harmful thoughts, ideas and views of myself and i cant go to therapy right now, i also just want to disconnect from most people if not everybody, im sorry.
if my last drawing is clear enough, which i think it is, i think you will get a good idea of my kind of struggle, but even then theres a lot of other stuff, and im tired of feeling like a nuisance or like im bothering everyone around me, so, sorry, thank you for appreciating my art
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I think it's really telling that that person took "Don't assume someone is queer based on their appearance" as "Just looking queer does not mean you're actually LGBT"
Instead of yknow, the part that affects me every day of "There are queer people around you who don't look like a walking pride parade but are still very much LGBT"
To anyone who sees me I probably just look like some tall gamer girl nerd (okay thats a bit of a givaway that im a trans woman but thats with meta knowledge) but like I experience gender and sexuality counter to the social norm, so maybe dont assume that someone isnt LGBT just because they dont look like a dictionary portait of flagging.
I know I'm super fucking tired of people assuming I'm not a lesbian just because I'm not masculine presenting or wearing my pride flag pins that day and everyone thinks feminine women MUST like men. RRGHHH...
Unless you're that person who seems pretty insecure about it lol
Or hell, even just talking about the fact that you engage with lgbtq+ culture and support smaller lgbtq+ artists (many of which are my friends) means the most interesting thing about you is that your lgbtq+. Like, wow, i can't believe learning and giving back to people who need money to survive have no personality
Clothes have always been a source of contention in the lgbtq+ community and it still is today. Blend in? Stand out? Flag each other? There are advantages and disadvantages to both.
And you're absolutely right. I think people have forgotten the art of stealthing, which I know a LOT of people do. One of my friends i met in physical therapy looked like your normal, jock, average teenage boy, until i learned he had already completed physical transition and was on T for years prior. Another one of my friends looks like a stock, computer nerd guy, but they're nonbinary (and possibly a trans girl, they're thinking about it, but either way I'd support them, you'd actually like them I think!), Another one of my friends looks like your standard straight girl who sometimes wears croptops, and she's bisexual!
I think what bothers me the most about that post when they responded to my tags is the fact that they were so...dismissive. The sort of implication there is that everyone should want to signal to other lgbtq+ people that they're lgbtq, or else they're boring. Which can be really, really damaging, especially to those who do want to remain stealth.
Anyways if that person thinks i'm boring, let them. Sucks to suck, but I know I have a rich, inner and outer life and diverse interests. Some of us didn't realize we were lgbtq+ until later in life. We had to form a personality.
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Often Dystopia (And how its gonna affect my art)
As much as there are some seriously good dystopian fiction. (yes im enamored with sci-fi) personally to me it almost feels tired but i understand the appeal and popularity
But how does this effect my art, and turn TillinGhast Corporate Media
Well first let me explain what TillinGhast Corporate Media is
TGCM was and is me taking what little part of my previous project that never took off and i never made it very far with, Tillinghast
Tillinghast was my outlet for my anger and isolation, and originally began after the death of my grandfather and the falling out of the people i had tried to gather for a band
I had written an ep dealing with my loss and an album that was inspired by election day 2016 and the amount of anger that i felt towards the establishment that i was already growing increasingly tired of
I ended that project after 2-3 years of trying to find vocalists/funds/and start making art
after that died i didnt touch any project and just wrote shitty electronic again, much like everytime i get bored with writing metal, but this time i had much more fun making just beeps and boops with no expectation of vocals and just making basic looping music
So where did TillinGhast Corporate Media come from?
If you notice i did keep the tillinghast name, as i found out when i first started this solo shit, isnt wasnt in use by any active musicians, and i only found one band that hadnt been active in over 8 years
But i wanted something new
something different
So i kinda let my focus on music, the thing i had been doing for over 10 years, go to the side to try and create elsewhere, right at the beginning of 2020
the first thing i thought i would try?
Writing a book
Which as a lot of people on here know, is really really really really really fucking hard to do, especially when you start this shit working a 9 hour overnight shift and writing on days off while everyone else you care about is asleep
And in figuring out what i had wanted to write then, i decided to not go big, but to try and keep me entertained, i needed more than just a few characters
So using a small chunk of info i had written down when i was trying to get into dnd and make my own scifi version of the game, i created a few planets, each with different species and histories and lore and economies
and i made a decision
Each planet would have different stories
to try and keep me entertained
which worked for about a year, and i havent updated since because i have trouble making myself create anything other than music, but i dont wanna get too recent or on a tangent
But why the name TillinGhast Corporate Media?
Well, because it sounds cool as shit. I used to love vaporwave and alternative genres and anything i could find that was "weird"
but also at some point i decided that if i do ever blow up, i want to hire other creatives and actually pay them well, and give them a place to really get out a message for the future
But its just me
So i get to have all the say
at least for now
But why a universe you ask? Why is this so damn long? Get to the point?
well at least for two of those im trying to be verbose and explain myself, and honestly if you read this far i love you and hope that youll stay here on this journey with me
I've always wanted to be part of a group, art creative, touring band, etc.
Ive gotten close only once or twice, but ive always been diy and taught myself shit so i figured i wanted to combine all of my loves into one thing, one giant sandbox where i can be creative in my decisions
And once again, i didnt want it to be just me. So TillinGhast Corporate Media will always be changing and evolving as i learn more about this giant world im having to navigate
I will say there will probably errors or fails, but i want this to be inclusive and open and loving so other people can use this as a means to escape, if even for a little bit, the harsh reality we all face.
Much like i got an escape in music and books as a kid and teenager
So why a universe? because a universe is big and can hold many stories and many perspectives, much like a library can hold many different pieces of knowledge
So to get to the final point, for those of you who actually made it this far based on the title
TillinGhast Corporate Media both as myself and as a future idea or brand
at least for now
Will not ever be a dystopia story
I have not forced myself to change and grow and evolve and continue to sit in my negativity and apathy and just general poopy pants view of the world
To not try with all my might to maybe write something that while not a utopia, is not dystopia and imagines a brighter, better, future where people maybe dont have to worry about as much, because they learned from our awful horrible past and actually refuse to repeat any of it
To try and make this more about characters and stories and music and the things that make myself and others smile, instead of regurgitated dystopias where even basic life is rough
does this mean everything will be all flowers and butterflies and my little pony?
absolutely the fuck not
Truth is often stranger than fiction and anything can happen even in a shiny place, but the point is to not be a negative nancy and have a bunch of shitty stuff going on all the time
One of the planets is a floating colony with what little remains of the human race
One planet is basically in the middle of an uprising of an exiled group
The book im writing (kinda spoilery but idk if ever ill finish this damn thing) literally has an act of terrorism being planned from someone who was radicalized by a really bad group that is basically space religion and its many parallels
All of my short stories are slice of life stuff that happens in a few scenarios where each character reacts to an outside force
But this wont ever be some dragged out for purely entertainment type angsty or edgy or anything like some books do with trauma
i want to look at stuff like we're building to something better, not something worse. optimistic but not utopia or something like that
(honestly this point ive already kinda gotten myself choked up so im gonna wrap it up)
But TillinGhast Corporate Media is basically my idea for a better future
and maybe im wrong and my stuff sucks and i need to change it
i have no idea because no one really follows my shit
so i just do what i want within the dumb boundaries and expectations i place on myself
but it is has been better before and it will get better again, and i am tired of that place being only in my head
so im creating this big huge universe with aliases that i call "artists" so it looks like there is actual musicians in this universe, i at one point started on a medium length animation series, and im trying to use my shitty computer to learn 3d shit
So stick around, at least you'll get some music out of it
and on that note i will mention i do have a few singles and 2 albums out, all of which is on youtube and streaming sites (its on spotify but i fucking hate spotify both as a company and some of the people they sponsor stream on any other site please you'll give more money to your favorite artists)
#tillinghastcorporatemedia#scifi#science fiction#scifiart#sci fi music#aliendancemusic#music#romance#creative writing#writers#writeblr#on writing#iknowtagsaredumb#honestlythoughireallyjustwannamakepeoplesmileifevenforamoment#idothisforfreeandfunsothisisntsponsoredoranything
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Hello, can i participate your match-ups event? i would like a twisted wonderland matchup please? also congrats to your 100+ (i guess you have 200+?) followers too! 🎉🎉🎉
I'm actually a female btw.
Appearance: I have a black short hair, Brown eyes, fair light skin, my height is 5'7", im quite chubby a bit..my clothing style is like gurenge the way i wear is boyish type with a dark color, sometimes i wear a bit girls clothes and cute clothes (kinda like soft girl aesthetic) if i want to and i wore a glasses, i used it sometimes if i can't see a far.
Personality (+about me):
-Im a (akward) quiet and shy person who have a stoic face, im very bad communicating/interacting with people cuz i have a bad anxiety issues but atleast i try/want to talk people if i want to (but not a lot, its getting tiring when talking to people).
-People didn't really know that im a bit softie person and playful when it comes to my loved ones or friends, i dont easily open up to anyone with my behavior.
-I have a short or maybe quick temper i can pissed so easily and is trying my best to control myself but mostly hard dealing my emotions, if i hurt people's feelings i'll apologise immediately if im calm.
-My friends commented me like im sort of mother/sister figure in our group, the way i act i didn't quite realized my behaviour the way i treat my friends or my little cousins.
-Im very insecure person, i been compared with someone who is smart, pretty or etc than i am because i wasnt one of them, it makes me think i wasn't enough.
-The way i act is boyish, but im bit act like a girl like im very shy, embarrased or flustered compare to the girls who acts girly.
-people was wondering why always stay inside in my room, all i do is study, watching anime, reading manga/fanfics, playing video games with my younger cousin and sleep, but i sometimes go outside when i wanted to buy or walk around.
-when it comes to my friends or family, i give them a headpat or hugs, but if i had a s/o, i will give them lot some hugs & kisses, i secretly kinda clingy or likes giving some affections but doesnt want to admit.
MBTI: INFP
Zodiac: Aries
Hobbies: Drawing (digital & traditional), Reading, Playing piano, gaming, babysitting, do martial arts and listening music
Likes: going to quiet place, sweets,(not a lot) , cold drinks, cute things or stuff, bunnies, watching anime & reading manga.
Dislikes: noisy/loud people, spiders or maybe bugs, math
My Love Language is:
Physical Touch: I like hugs/cuddles and kisses this is they way im showing my comfort or affection
but im very shy when it comes show or expressed my affections to my
s/o, but im very careful that i wont be extra clingy to them so i have to asked them first before showing it.
Quality Time: If i have a free time, i would like to spend time with my s/o, but i'll let them choose they want or plans for spending time with them.
Words of Affirmation: I maybe not good at talking, but i love and try my best give my s/o some compliment, praises and comforting words.
When it comes the partner:
I kinda like when my s/o who have same hobbies like me, i would rambled them my likings, also who also very honest and loyal to me, if my s/o is had problems or insecurities i will give them so many hugs, head pats and kisses. lastly, who have patience and accept for who i am.
Fun fact about me:
+ I maybe wore stoic expression cuz im not that a smiley type but i smile and laugh sometimes but my friends know my weakness which is tickling me this fails me to laugh, they even try to picture me.
+ Im a soft person who loves cute things like wearing cute clothes, plushies, or etc, and i adore cute animals. i hate to get caught if someone knows about my weird habit of mine i might ended up teasing.
Thank you and i apologise if this is kinda long, also again congrats! have a nice day/night! ✨
Hi, thank you! Yes it’s technically much more than 100+ (I need to do something to celebrate 300 but I’m already close to 400 so idk what to do 😭), but more importantly, your matchup! I think that there’s a lot of characters that could work with you, but the one that would be the best is…
Idia
Hey look, your pfp! No but seriously, you guys match so much in vibes it’s so cute!
He’s someone that would prefer someone who understands his nerdiness and who can relate with him so he completely understands you. He’s into anime and manga, so you guys could recommend each other different series to watch or read! I can imagine you guys talking for hours on your favorite shows, or maybe taking forever on anime streaming catalogs to see what to watch next. He also really likes listening to music, so sometimes you guys just vibe next to each other while one of your playlists are playing. He’s always wanted to draw, maybe make his own comic one day, and he admires your skill in drawing so much. Please draw him one day, he’ll absolutely melt! You guys would absolutely love playing video games together. I can see you guys gaming until sunrise sometimes haha.
He’s not the best at doing pda, but he’s probably more clingy than he seems. He’s like you in being shy at first to initiate any kind of physical touch, but once he gets more comfortable around you, he won’t worry about cuddling with you. He’s not going to do any kind of pda, but when you guys are in private he’s totally cool with it (he might want it too honestly).
Speaking of physical touch, give him headpats! He’s been through so much (*cough* chapter 6 *cough*) and he’ll just melt if you give him any kind of soft attention. He’s probably a softie at heart like you are, so you guys match wavelengths so well.
Idia would love to spend as much free time with you as possible, even if that means you guys just hang around in his room or your room. Please just text him if you want to hang out since he’s more than willing to spend time with you. Ortho might ask you if he can join just because, and honestly all three of you might have a vibe going. Also Ortho’s adorable and he loves seeing you guys together so much (probably starts calling you “sis” too).
He will never judge you for what you like, your strengths or weaknesses, or anything else. He loves you for who you are, loves you for being an artist, a plushy lover, and a gamer like him. Know that he’s always going to be by your side and there for you.
Overall you guys match vibes so well, and he just loves being with you so much he could probably cry 😭
#twst x reader#twst#twisted wonderland#twst headcanons#twst imagines#twst scenarios#ask box#twst matchup#twst idia#twst idia shroud#twst idia x reader#idia shroud#idia#idia headcanons#idia x y/n#twst ignihyde#ignihyde x reader
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I usually dont do stuff like this, but i feel like i have to say it somewhere:
Disclaimer:
This has been written in a tired fit of anger. My thoughtprocess might not be easy to follow, as my brain is half dead rn. I am not attacking anyone, nor am I calling specific people out here. This is about a behaviour I have seen on multiple occasions from, too many to count, Twitter users.
(Please ignore grammatical errors, Im very tired)
If you dont like an art piece, don't be an ass about it.
For context: I've been on Twitter (X or whatever) going through some tags i frequent to have a look at the amazing art the community graces the platform with. Found a drawing that had been posted a good while ago and only like 10-ish likes. I wrote a comment on how i thought it looked insanely good. I come back to my phone having a message from Twitter, that someone answered to my comment. "What do you mean that looks so ugly"
I hate these comments, i really do. They make me unreasonably angry, even if it hasn't been on my own art.
For the people who see art, don't like it, and their first thought is "I don't like this, i'll share with the world how ugly it is": Please don't. Im not telling anyone to shut up and Im most definitely do not forbid you to share your opinion. What I am asking is that you try not to be so crude in your commenting, if you feel the need to share your thoughts.
A simple "This is ugly" is neither helpful to the artist or you. Such unthoughtful, in the moment, comments shoot down so many starting artists, whose skills, realistically, aren't on par with maybe that one artist you know that has been drawing for decades. But you might also hurt yourself in the process. There are so many people on Twitter who might hound you for insulting an artist they enjoy and might even go far beyond than a simple "you're wrong" (There is a very high chance that replys won't be as nice as my example. It is Twitter after all.)
The point that Im trying to make is:
Be nice and take a minute to think how your actions affect others, even if it's on the internet.
If you really want to share your thoughts on an artpiece you don't really like, try finding something you do like about it. Perhaps you like the colours? Maybe the scene that the artist was going for is something fresh and new? Perhaps even just the idea of the piece in question is something you enjoyed and start your comment with what you did like. And maybe try to describe *why* you dont like certain parts of their art.
Constructive criticism is the most welcome form of criticism. (or so I say)
If you can explain (or even just try to) why you dont like a certain aspect and then give an example on how it could be fixed, your comments can be a lot more helpful! It shows that you took your time to really look at the art and makes your criticism a lot more likely to be acknowledged and applied to the next piece!
In general: Let's all be a little nicer on the internet, because even if everyone is basically anonymous, the aftereffects of our words can have tremendous effects on others, it does not matter if we see the aftermath or not, it still happens. Insults from faceless strangers you might never know, still sting.
Again:
This has been written in a tired fit of anger. My thoughtprocess might not be easy to follow, as my brain is half dead rn. I am not attacking anyone, nor am I calling specific people out here. This is about a behaviour I have seen on multiple occasions from, too many to count, Twitter users.
P.S. I am aware that stuff like this is so very common on Twitter and that yes, I am probably at fault for getting angry at this, because I keep using that forsaken app. Most likely, my post is not the first, nor the only, one about this topic. I simply felt like I needed to say it aswell.
P.P.S. I am also aware that I am not immune to writing rash comments or other various types of posts, in fits of strong emotion. This entire post is one such product.
#Rant#or does this count as more of a vent post?#It's my own fault for being on Twitter at this point#i seem to attract people who write insensitive comments without thinking#anyway#text post#twitter?#tired and angry#its very late#or early#be nice#my opinion#If you disagree with what i say or how I said it let me know#Im open to criticism on this
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hmmm. recognizing negative thought patterns and unsure how to Stop them.
whenever my friends tell me that theyre achieving something or going to try to achieve something theres just this really negative knee jerk reaction that i have and it feels so gross. i get it especially when its in fields that are also relevant to me so part of it is definitely jealousy, but its especially prevalent when theyre attempting something literary because i have VERY strong opinions on the value of storytelling and the value of art and i take issue with some of the more modern, decadent approaches people take towards it where like. people are engaging with such insular themes and refusing to confront things beyond their comfort zone and i see it SO much amongst my friends. like there are things i dislike in reality that i think are incredibly important to engage with and extremely narratively compelling that they kind of just block out entirely? and theyre allowed to have their worldview but sometimes it just feels a little bit. ivory tower. idk. like i certainly hold views that i am privileged to be able to hold especially in this regard because there are things i can engage with that other people cant on account of personal experiences and trauma. there are lenses i can turn on and off in my brain that other people cant because they are so affected by certain issues that they dont have that luxury. i get that im not necessarily more Tapped In to the human experience or anything but like. idk i just really resent a lot of that sort of anti-intellectual refusal to engage with opposing worldviews and a lot of art feels very hollow to me for that reason. im getting off track but i think i just resent that my friends will always refuse to even entertain my worldview and i resent that they arent burdened by the same concerns of conserving the human spirit in all things and can just. exist like normal people and enjoy things. i think i have to just start creating again. i think that would take away the jealousy element and maybe also give me a vehicle through which i can communicate the things that are important to me
i think the bottom line is i want to be able to be happy for my friends and so i have to start achieving things too so that i dont resent them or get nasty thoughts of superiority. i also think i need to find more complicated people to hang out with because im kind of tired of the sort of sanitized modern worldview where topics are stripped of nuance
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concept: the wizards' cards have textures based on their effects and how often the card is used, like literal playing cards that get worn over time. i know i shared this in the discord but i wanna see how u interpet it with art bc i cant art
AW THANK U FOR COMING TO ME LEAH im flattered u want to see my artistic interpretations omg
I REALLY LIKED THAT IDEA YOU PUT IN THE DISCORD... i never thought that the cards would get worn down over time through heavy use . ITS SUCH A GOOD IDEAAA most of your ideas are so good<33
that being sad i thought about it more in school while i was waiting for a friend to finish up in class and heres what i got
— i feel as if novice decks + cards have a sort of "block" on them - that means there is a spell that prevents newer wizards from putting too much magic into their spells and tiring themselves out quicker. the magic is more stilted, which is why some may fizzle more over others. but they are made specifically for new trainees in mind, so more experienced wizards dont use them.
(i hope the explanation makes sense....)
ANYWAYS . ill do it by groupings so elemental school is up
— i feel as if pyromancers are more prone to burning their cards and decks to a crisp - hence the charred edges around their cards. falmea has to teach novice pyromancers about fire safety and how to safely put out a fire caused by magic (rather than fire caused naturally, imo i think they're two different things)
— as they steadily grow more confident in keeping their flame up and consistent, these types of accidents will stop, and they would stop burning their cards too. however, i think that the charred edges remain simply because it's fire and you're going to expect it to get burned either way. but now there's a more smokey quality to the way that it smells and looks.
also. i think the words and appearance would also get smudged and disappear over time, so they would probably have to rely on their memory or the way that the card feels (or even cast it) to see which one it is.
— ALSO i think all spell cards all look the same, but the corners are marked with the schools colors<3 i think it looks cool
— for thaumaturges i feel as if they would always freeze their cards so that they would be unusable in battle - the magic cant really flow into a spell card when the card itself is just basically a chunk of ice omg
for this, i feel like greyrose would cross some classes with falmea - she teaches the pyromancers how to relax the grip on their flame, and falmea would teach the thaumaturges how to allow themselves to relax, flow out of their rigid state.
— as they learn to control the rate at which their ice magic manifests, their spell cards are instead dusted with a light shade of frost, that which can be easily cleaned off. the words can become a little bit more harder to read and a bit foggier, though, so sometimes they have a chance to cast the wrong spell.
— diviners are 100% wrecking their cards like crazy. some students would have to constantly get new sets of decks or spell cards because storm is such a strong school off the bat - lightning tears through the protective block sometimes, often times making them practically unusable.
some people drop out or switch schools because of this issue - it's too much work to have to constantly replace torn cards or learn how to rework your magic into a better way.
— i think with enough time, diviners can learn how to redirect magic into a more consistent way (because storm magic in general is very inconsistent) -- they are still more likely to tear their cards in a fight, but it starts more at the edges, rather than novices almost tearing huge chunks and bottom/top halves off.
— for conjurers i feel like theyre the types to start bending their cards - perhaps out of nervousness or habit. when you have an uptight teacher like cyrus, i think that kind of manifests itself into other behaviors.
— for some reason, i feel like their cards are more likely to shimmer and shine more. since their school mainly deals with the mind and creativity, the cards and decks reflect that. that being said, it may shimmer too much. to the point where novices can't even make out the creature of the card, and end up summoning the wrong one.
self-explanatory, but sometimes their mind may be clouded by other things, and i like to think that the mind and magic is connected, hence why it will affect the spell cards.
— for necromancers, i feel like when their magic takes the necessary sacrifice, it also ends up taking chunks out of the card too. you can have the right rituals down to perform a spell, but it doesn't mean the sacrificial aspect isn't the part that messes up most novices.
i think after diviners, necromancers come in at a close second at wrecking their cards. sometimes the whole card disappears and you're like "what the heck".
— sacrifice is a core part of the death school, so malorn and dworgyn teach the novices how to make the sacrifices smaller, more localized to the edges of the cards. it's why older, experienced wizards may have cards that look like they've been eaten around the edges.
— for theurgists, i feel like they're the school that doesn't wreck their cards most of the time. there's has to do more with growth than anything else, hence why i think their cards are the ones that are the least replaced.
rather, i think things begin to grow on and around the cards. tiny vines that tear through the spell cards, wrapping around the edges. they can be ignored most of the time, but if a life wizard has their emotions and magic tied particularly close, these vines can and will get out of hand.
— experienced and older theurgists will have these sorts of vines around the corners and edges of their cards, however it may differ on plant type. because magic is different for every person, the flowers that grow there might differ from each person. the spells are worn, but because of life's rejuvinating energy, they look considerably newer compared to other schools.
— AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST... SORCERERS . this one stumped me a lil bit im ngl. i think novices have problems with concentrating on flipping between each of the schools as their attacks and supports demand it.
cards that feel wet and soggy, dried in some places as they use an a elemental school card; cards that look transparent in some places, bits and pieces gone from spiritual schools; spotty and fuzzy writing that comes from using sorcery in their own school.
— ITS... A LOT TO HANDLE. which is also why some people may end up transferring out of balance. i feel like sorcerers may have a class with each of the teachers of the seven schools, to level each of the magics that come with handling all seven of them.
— older sorcerers may get special decks and spell cards to help prevent the spell cards from straight up getting destroyed or unusable. i like to think it has a time factor -- turning back time on the cards appearance so that it lasts longer, just to give a throwback to the sands of time storyline instance in mirage.
#val.answers#wizard101#w101#i hope this is what u were looking for omg#this post is... so long.... im sorry to everyone in the tag#BUT YEAHHHH i was thinking on it more at school and i managed to come up with this . i hope u like it<33#im not sure these explanations make sense but i hope they do omg#long post
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crenny brainrot
idk i normally dont post my thoughts here on tumblr but since im becoming active again i want to ramble on about my favorite crenny headcanons.
mostly because i have the agenda of embedding it to the crenny nation collective consciousness. i am a woman in a mission.
Disclaimer: these are literally headcanons with either 0 or the bare minimum canonical basis. its all for good fun pls don’t attack me for rambling about south park characters on main.
1. Kenny is an English gay, Craig is a Science gay || alt title: my craig is bad at english agenda.
I don’t need to explain myself but I’m GOING to explain myself. In the series Kenny is normally the point person whenever the boys don’t know the meaning of a certain term. That’s on rich vocabulary baybee! Ok but ALSO Kenny’s is legit good at English (e.g. When he wrote the boys a letter from Hawaii, His entire Princess Kenny cold open, his Mysterion dialogues)
And now Craig, sweet precious illiterate Craig.
need i say more?
Craig as a science gay just makes a lot of sense to me, bc duh...space...and stuff. Leave it to Craig to calculate the rate of xyz when abc, but if you ask him to write 1 (one) single essay he will slap you.
I love contrasting my Crenny bc that’s their primary appeal for me! I’m on that stem student x liberal arts student agenda.
2. Kenny loves his town! (Craig is on the Fence)
It’s a really common crenny trope for them to hate the fuck out of South Park, which leads to countless runaway fics (which I ADORE, keep making them.) But you know when I thought about it, Kenny’s definitely the type to love South Park (and its inhabitants) from the Bottom of his heart.
Dude he literally took on the role of Mysterion to protect the town from the shadows (he’s been doing it for Months???), He sacrificed himself in the South park movie just to bring back things to normal. This man. Loves. His. town.
I think Kenny’s the type to be all “Come with me, I’ll show you my secret spot.” Then have like 17 secret spots around the town. He definitely knows stuff like the quickest route to school or the best spot for stargazing. All that.
Now Craig. I could see why he’d hate the town TBH. And that offers a nice counterbalance to Kenny (a comic is forming in my mind as we speak.)
I want Kenny to teach Craig how to love the town (kenny voice “you’re just not experiencing the town the right way!”) and I want Craig to call out Kenny (craig voice “maybe you’re just romanticizing the idea of the town because you’re scared of letting go of the last bits of your childhood”) AHAHAHAHA. Idk Man, it would be a nice dynamic to study.
lmao i just realized that most of my headcanons are just contrasting crenny. IDC!
3. manlet kenny and taaaaall craig
yall KNOW ive been on that short Crenny agenda since day 1!
(behold my first rendered crenny art ever)
DAY ONE! 初日！Unang araw palang!
BUT! but! BUT! this goes deeper. because of course im going to ramble on about this.
*clears throat*
Craig tries to occupy as little space as possible, Kenny tries to occupy the biggest space possible.
BAM! Visual and Thematic Interest!
I can imagine it now, Craig keeping his limbs as close to himself. Kenny stretching out his arms trying to “take more sunlight and air!”
I like the idea of Kenny being small but no one really thinks he’s small because he carries himself like a large person. Sometimes he’d just stand up and Craig would see the top of his head and go “oh wow i forgot that you were a foot shorter than me for a split second.”
Fun stuff.
4. Mole placements because I’m a graphic design student and this is the type of shit that appeals to me.
As yall know I draw Craig with a mole under his eye and Kenny with a mole under his lip. Want to know why? Visual interest BAYBEE. Have i told you that I’m a graphic design STUDENT.
I like it because it leads your eyes from Craig’s face to Kenny’s face or vice versa. It adds a sense of movement to any of my crenny pieces.��
Also I noticed how most crenny fics focus on how striking Craig’s eyes are and I think it’s just fitting to add a lil mole to accent it.
As for kenny, I’m on that...........kenny kissable lips agenda.......I hc his mole to be less noticeable but MAN once you notice, it’s all you see. I can just imagine Craig going fucking crazy once he realize that there’s a mole under Kenny’s lips.
5. Craig and Kenny are innately perceptive || alt title: Crenny Bluetooth Couple
This is kinna one of my tenet headcanons. Like my entire crenny characterization hinges on this one headcanon.
Okay get ready its DISSERTATION time.
5A: The angst of it all
Craig and Kenny are both very perceptive. They notice. The different lies in the way they act on what they had notice.
Kenny’s an empath so he tries the best to subtly help the people around him when noone else can. Stan having a bad day? Kenny would stay with him. Kyle’s pissed off more than usual? Kenny would crack jokes he knows Kyle would laugh at. etc.etc.
Craig is very pragmatic. If it doesn’t affect him, he won’t bother. But with Kenny he just can’t help but be so concerned.
He notices it when somethings off with Kenny. He’d notice when Kenny’s disoriented (after dying and not knowing how reality warped or sum). He’d notice when Kenny’s tired (after working overtime at city wok). He’d notice how Kenny would look at his friends lunches.
What pisses Craig the most is how Kenny just, smiles through it all. Craig’s so frustrated with how Kenny’s own friends are too caught up with their shit that they can’t notice telltale signs.
And so he finds himself gravitating towards Kenny. Inviting Kenny to join his Wide-angle lens show after he got rejected for looking too poor. Offering to be his partner during school trips.
5B: craigs cold hard exterior = kennys happy go lucky attitude
Craig and Kenny don’t express their true emotions.
But the difference is: Craig doesn’t show his because he doesn’t feel the need to. Kenny doesn’t show his because he has to.
BAM! Interest!
Kenny has to be strong. To not worry his siblings or friends. So he just pushes through and hides it all with his hedonistic facade.
Craig’s just.....idk he just doesn’t want 2 show his emotions for funsies idk what’s up with him.
I like how on the surface they seem like polar opposites but fundamentally they are the same. (bc theyre soulmates)
5C: Reading craig
Kenny’s one of the few people who mastered the language of Craiganese. Alongside Ruby, Clyde, and Token.
Kenny’s skill was innate tho and it pisses off Clyde so much.
Clyde learned how to read Craig after years of being his closest friend. It took a lot of trial and error, but he’s proud that he can understand Craig’s mood and all that.
But then comes Kenny who can read Craig immediately! What the heck! Unfair!
5D: Bluetooth couple
which leads me to the point.
It’s funny.
It’s just funny I can imagine Crenny having entire conversations just by looking at each other.
okay thats all.
#long post#magentasays#crenny#craig tucker#kenny mccormick#steal my headcanons and build upon them i beg you
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well my last anon message wasn’t right. i meant what songs do u think r about patrick. sorry i’m on drugs
what songs i think are about patrick/fob? theres a lot so im not gonna offer in depth commentary about them because it would take too long, ppl can ask me about individual songs if they want though. i dont think this is what you wanted but this is what i wrote <3 i think pete is kind of a self-centered songwriter (neutral) so i think a lot of his songs are kinda about fame and the band and how they affect his sanity and relationships so i think things kind of blur together in my interpretations
five tired boys in a worn out van / fellowship of the nerd is one of my favorites, its super cute and not many have heard it because it sounds like trash but has a certain charm. the bridge makes me really emotional, its a love song to being in a band before they had any sort of fame or notoriety
hand of god is obviously about being in the band but its more meta, austin we have a problem is the same
i am not really sure why because the lyrics to 7-9 legendary are pretty explicitly romantic/referring to a relationship, but the melody reminds me of the band for some reason, like i suppose it has the same taste as kids arent alright etc to me.
iirc centuries was not written by the band but i suppose it could be construed that way
immortals too kind of deals with the manic superstar feeling that he explores through a lot of songs that i think represents both feelings of manic episodes as well as how hes always viewed fame-- when he was 20 or 21 he wrote this kind of disturbing rant and posted it online and he refers to “demigods of rock and roll,” and i think thats something he explores frequently in his songs so i tend to associate those songs with the band, especially since he often uses “we” pronouns
“from now on we are enemies” is exploring his relationship to patrick through the relationship between mozart and salieri
twin skeletons is often construed as a peterick song but ive never interpreted it that way. i think people associate it more with the band than a girl because of the album art they put out making it a symbol of the band, so many people think that means the two frontmen, pete and patrick. but for some reason the song itself makes me think of his failed marriage, not sure why.
the original version of dance dance has a longer prechorus including the lines “we will own your thoughts we are the song stuck in your head well leave you kicking and screaming so you can thank us in the end” has always resonated with me as being about fame and the sort of darkness he sometimes writes it with, like the “dance like were shooting at your feet” line. i wish i could come up with a less corny term than dark power but i think thats what he writes it as a lot, like its something sinister and kinda evil yet like... positive somehow? idk thats another essay
i dont care is obv about fame
americas suitehearts has the classic coke line which always makes me think about how many of the dcd people officially or unofficially got addicted to drugs
coffees for closers is about the band and the fans imo
what a catch is obv a patrick song
wams is supposedly something else but i think part of it is about fame/the band
pavlove is about fame/misery which i suppose has to do with the band
our lawyer is about the band
so is sophomore slump v obviously
thriller is about the band and the fans
arms race is pretty self-centered but about being famous, mmrs touches on it too
a lot of pax am days uses “we” and “us” pronouns, but demigods really stands out to me as being about the band
alone together hasnt struck me as being about the band specifically but more about like a scene or whatever, phoenix and young volcanoes a bit as well
a lot of tttyg mentions the band but nothing too strongly imo
music or the misery is about fame/the band
i know the saturdays alright for fighting is a cover of an elton john parody of a rolling stones song, but its always really reminded me of like, the saturday video and release the bats and stuff. i guess because its deliberately very reminiscient of “the outsiders” type stuff and i wrote a 10 page essay on that lmfao
about half of mania is about the band and being famous IMO
young and menace is about being so famous you feel immortal
wilson/expensive mistakes has always struck me as a patrick song
heavens gate is about the ppl you love being better than you which.. patrick
bishops knife trick is about the band and chicago
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hc that jigen, despite what others believe, would be a bang up dad if given the chance to
like??? in the pov of the one hes caring for:
-hella supportive of whatever you do. straight up would cheer for ya in whatever u show him. like art? mans cheering and cryibg at ur work. gaming? oh hell yeah u defeated the boss way to go kiddo!
-cooks ur fave frequently while also introducing u to new food from the many countries hes visited with the gang. he teaches u too if ur up to learn
-mans great hugger. all im gonna say
-respects tf otta ya. no talking down, yellin bout respect, or pulling the age card. man respects ur thoughts, hell u can even change his mind on some things
and dont get me started on being the coparent like:
-SUPER DOMESTIC MOMENTSS IM TALKIN CLEANING DAYS, COOKING TOGETHER, HELL EVEN GOING SHOPPING LIKE?? DAMN
-probably showing off his multitask skills like bro its cool but ur gonna set the house on fire.
-still great hugs, but damn if those hugs arnt the most fuffiling thing u can get
-random or sudden kisses or hug attacks? yessir man would give ya a peck or two, call ya darlin, n move onto making pasta for the group
-the absolute dichotomy between him at work v him at home got everyone simpin bad. hell even lupin takes up quicker schemes because having jigen around just yelling at the washer while goemons helpin in lunch
-this applies to the gang too like bruh jigen ironing and cleaning lupins suits n him getting it back like its brand new. goemon getting his room cleaned but having his items left where they are so he can clean it up himself, as well as leaving the zantutsken alone even tho goemon lets him know he trusts him with it.
-fujiko too, like shes staying for a while n jigen pulls the ole "its -10, you cant go out like that unless you want to freeze to death. need leggings? i think blues better with the skirt." and despite them hating each other she listens to his advice n vice versa
-ZENI TOO MAN LOSES ANOTHER HANDCUFF TO LUPIN N JIGENS LIKE: ayo pops u left this earlier. n zenis like "aye ty" and just leaves it at that
NO THOUGHTS JUST DOMESTIC JIGEN BRAINROT
ok so since i got this ask my mind has been entirely thinking about dad!jigen and yeah also just a domestic jigen in general. but the dad stuff?? i've been pining and broody and oh wow he would make the best dad.
jigen would see his child as the best thing he ever did. and he can't believe he did it. they're amazing – cute, clever, curious. he adores them and is completely fascinated by them. he wants to be with them all the time, watch them discover all the new parts of their world. hearing their little voice ask him questions about any and every topic makes his day. he never brushes off any subject they bring up and will talk to them about it earnestly and extensively. if there's something he doesn't know, he encourages them to go research it together.
he likes to tell them stories about all the places he has lived and visited. every night when he tucks them lovingly into bed, he prepares another anecdote for a bedtime story. once his tiny beloved has drifted off to sleep, he gently places a kiss on their forehead or temple and makes sure both them and all their plushies are tucked in really tight. he does this every night without fail. even if he isn't back from a heist until the early hours of the morning, he will be sure to check on his baby before heading to bed himself.
because he shows so much of his affection so openly to his child, they adore him just as he does them. they'll wake up early in the morning and run into his room. he's alert to the pitter patter of their little feet and is always half awake as they walk into the room. even with heavy eyelids and barely an hour of sleep to his name that night, he'll hoist them up onto the bed with him and give them the biggest hug. he'll try to keep up with their babbling in his tired state. sometimes the little one will try to tickle him awake and in hearing their mischevious joy and laughter, he is helpless not to wake up and fix them both some breakfast.
everything they're interested in, he tries to become interested in too. from their favourite tv shows to their favourite classes at school. jigen wants to understand their brain and why they enjoy what they do. he also wants them to know their dad is always going to be there to support them in their future endeavours.
the whole experience of being a father has changed his outlook at work a bit. he's much less willing to put his life on the line. he has a lot to live for and there is someone whose life depends on him everyday. he always makes clear to the gang when he can't go on a mission for fear of the worst and encourages them to give it a miss. he still cares for all of them and fears for their safety. he wouldn't want not being with them the reason for someone getting badly hurt or worse. when he can't join, or is doing some logisitcal work from the safehouse, he'll take his dad skills and put them to work with the gang. they're super disorganised and messy and don't take half of enough care of themselves. he'll put things back into place, make sure their beds are made, they have fresh clothes to change into and warm food to come home to. he doesn't want thanks for it, in fact he'd rather no one mention it, he's just happy to see them all home safe at the end of a busy heist.
#this has been my favourite hc/scenario to think about#please sir....a child??? can we...#jigen sir....please#jigen#lupin iii#hcs#/
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yeah but its the book we like? the plot twists? how it was written? not the author? it doesnt mean we like the books we like the author. we support the characters, the lore, not jk. its a bit inconsiderate to assume if we liked the story we like the author? and yeah sure it's not the only story with dark lords and magic but its the only one some people know. some people arent exposed to much books, so they just know about the harry potter pjo hardy boys nancy drew stuff like that.
idgaf about jk rowling, she's a disgrace to the humanity especially with the clout she has. but there are still so much people who write about hp. draw about hp. its still a classic? you cant just say we cant interact with certain people since we like a book series thats decently written?? im a mutual of yours and i dont think im about to stop interacting with you since i find it a decent story.
again, not the author. i dont find her decent one bit. its the story. theyre different things. sure, she made it but it's a story. a different world. a fantasy that people make fics about, art, they paint their doors and windows about it. idk if you get where im coming from this is really messy im sorry
im not a hate anon, im just really confused.
I AM NOT ASSUMING THAT YOU LIKE THE AUTHOR BECAUSE YOU LIKE THE BOOKS
I AM SAYING THAT SUPPORTING THE BOOKS SUPPORTS THE AUTHOR, WHETHER OR NOT YOU LIKE HER
SHE IS ALIVE
SHE IS HURTING PEOPLE AND SUPPORTING HER SERIES ENCOURAGES HER DO THAT
Is that better? Is the caps lock getting my point across? I do not want to sound mean, but I honestly don't know how better to explain this.
This is not just a teeny thing that can be ignored. JKR is a real person who has caused real problems in the real world for other human beings, and she has openly admitted to seeing any and all positive interaction with her work as support. She sees it as incentive to keep doing what she's doing. She thinks her fans secretly agree with her. And I say her fans, not Harry Potter fans, because you cannot say ''death of the author'' when she is alive and hurting people.
I do not give a shit what people will do with HP when she'd dead or unable to hurt anyone anymore. But right now, JKR and the harm she causes are both intrinsically connected to the Harry Potter books.
Not to mention that the books are bigoted too. The goblins, the treatment of Fleur, the casual date rape drugs, the tokenized & flat characters of colour, the homophobia with the werewolves being a metaphor for AIDS... the list goes on. These are in the books. I am all for reading and examining problematic media, but that is not the same thing as treating it like fandom, especially not when the author is alive and hurting people.
If you're truly a mutual of mine, you know my views. Vulnerable people are more important than a book series.
I can ask whoever I want not to interact, especially when it's something I've explained over and over. Especially when it's something that has affected my life. I'm not going to go into how JKR's brand of transphobia mirrors my mother's, because the whole of tumblr does not have the right to have those details, but trust me when I say this shit matters.
Supporting Harry Potter means giving JKR more relevance and voice in this day and age. If you are willing to do that, we will not get along.
Finally:
"Some people don't know about many books other than Harry Potter" is a strawman argument. I am not criticizing 11yos with a Hedwig plush who had a Harry Potter birthday party and play on pottermore. I am criticizing the only people who will actually be able to see my blog: people who also have access to the bad things JKR has done, both in and outside of Harry Potter.
I am tired of seeing Harry Potter everywhere. Every single HP fan in my real actual life is an open transphobe. I want to be able to have my nice little book blog where I talk about books that make me happy, and I do not want to have to talk about Harry Potter. I do not want to have to see things relating to Harry Potter. I do not want to interact with people who think Harry Potter is harmless.
Can you not let me have that?
#asks#anon#ask to tag#i talked about a lot of stuff in this ask and idk what i should or shouldnt tag in caution except#tw transphobia#rape mention#tw racism#aids mention
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