#im gonna go drink my hour old coffee and cry now | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

quodekash · 1 year

Text

i once again went to sleep instead of watching an episode but im here for the first vice versa episode now! (and depending on how im feeling, i might watch the second episode when it airs tonight, but no promises)

i love puentalay so much and THEYRE GONNA BE DADS and im also desperately hoping for some aoufuse because i love them so so much and their child who is a dog

aoufuse were parents before puentalay. they adopted a dog together. they beat you, puentalay. hah.

ANYWAY im gonna watch it now, wish me luck, ill probably cry

im also gonna try to not go over the 30 image limit again cos i keep doing that

i love how they put summaries at the start of these as though we havent aggressively rewatched each show in the week preceding the os2 episodes

OH NO IM ALREADY GONNA CRY AND THE ACTUAL EPISODE HASNT EVEN STARTED YET

talay singing happy birthday to puen? this feels familiar. except its actually puen's birthday this time. not pakorn/tun's.

"and as i wished for every year" HOW MANY YEARS HAS IT BEEN?????

NOOOO NOT THE DESIGN ON THE CAKE

WHY DOES THIS STUPID LITTLE DESIGN HAVE SUCH AN AFFECT ON ME

IM SOBBING

WAIT WHAT THE HELL WHERE'S TALAY???

WHAT DID THEY DO

WHY WOULD THEY START IT LIKE THAT

i know its gonna be fine, this is gonna be like entirely fluff for two episodes because CHILD and they look really happy in the preview

my prediction is this sadness will last three minutes at the most

but also WHYYYYY

honestly i love this acapella intro song

"Faded Pink?" WHY THE QUESTION MARK

PINK IS LOVE

WHY IS IT FADED

WHY IS THEIR LOVE FADED

AND AGAIN, WHY THE QUESTION MARK

IM SO CONFUSED

STUFF YOU

IDK WHO IM STUFF YOU-ING BUT ITS SOMEONE

"since weve come back to this universe" okAY, COOL, GOOD A SUMMARY

"it's already the fifth year" W H A T

WHAT THE HELL

THEYRE SO OLD

AND ALSO WHAT THE HELL

FIVE YEARS IS SUCH A LONG TIME???

ALSO WHAT WAS THE KID DOING FOR FIVE FREAKING YEARS

I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS ABOUT THIS KID

i know the questions will have answers probably very shortly

BUT THEY DONT HAVE ANSWERS RIGHT NOW AND THE KID IS CONFUSING ME THOROUGHLY

THAT MUCH COFFEE???

bro puen youre so tired. go to sleep. please.

altho i would like to point out the mug that says "the cat's favourite"

does that imply that they have a cat

please answer my questions

"i really want to drink the coffee made by you, talay" dude i know youre deeply in love with him but you need to stop drinking so much coffee and GO TO SLEEP FOR CRYING OUT LOUD

TALAY HAS A LITTLE WORK TENT IN THEIR BACKYARD??? THATS SO AWESOME WHAT THE HELL

"it's 9pm already???" is this adhd time blindness i am smelling

or perhaps an autism trait

HJRKDFHJBTF THE CHEEK KISSES

bro what is it with our skyy 2 and birthdays

THEM

I FORGOT THEIR NAMES

BUT I LOVE THEM

ALTERNATE UNIVERSE UP AND AOU

PREEDA AND AOU??

they literally havent said either of their names this entire time

1:27 IN THE MORNING???? JEEEEEEZ

THIS IS SOME KIND OF NEURODIVERGENT TIME BLINDNESS THING, FOR SURE

THIS IS NOT NEUROTYPICAL BEHAVIOUR

looking at talay's phone and im just now realising: how the hell did they unlock their phones in the other universe? they dont know tun and tess' passwords. how could they have gotten into their phones?

there are many things to do with the lore and logistics of the universes that dont make sense and we'll probably never get answers to, but its still fun to wonder and speculate

awwhhhhh poor puen feels unloved and forgotten

akk felt unloved and forgotten because aye had a surprise for him

talay is just neurodivergent and cant figure out time and so he genuinely did forget about it being puen's birthday

BUT NEITHER SITUATION IS BAD

in both situations there is still the love

now i wanna talk about neurodivergence for three hours and justify talay and stuff but i wont because i need to actually watch this episode before it gets too late

why are they being sad and angsty

theyre supposed to be happy and in love and fluffy

"so lets change from a birthday to a hug day" YES PLEASE

I LOVE HUGS

HUG DAY EVERY DAY

GIERKJBDGKJ HE SANG THE OTHER UNIVERSE HAPPY BIRTHDAY SONG

IM GONNA CRYYYYYY

honestly it rly does feel like its been that long since the show aired

its only been like one year

but it feels like five

but also feels like three months

time is weird i dont like thinking about time

lets stop talking about time

HES GETTING MORE AND MORE AUTISTIC AS THE EPISODE GOES ON

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

i love the concept of hug day

just hug your loved one/s at any random point in the day because ITS HUG DAY

i mean you can also do that any day (as long as theyre fine with hugs ofc)

but i think the hug feels more special on hug day

now i want a hug day

why isnt hug day a thing everywhere

i feel like i could probably talk about hug day for hours

hug day is good

good. good good good. a man of fine taste.

unlike some people (MAITHEE) who DONT LIKE SPAGHETTI because its "too cheesy"????

THEN DONT FREAKING MAKE IT WITH CHEESE???

È SPAGHETTI

FORMAGGIO È NON NECESSARIO PER SPAGHETTI

PERCHÉ??? PERCHÉ SEI IL MODO CHE TU SEI???

mi dispiace, maithee not liking spaghetti because its too cheesy is a cause for anger in the minds of the little italians that live in my brain

anyway. spaghetti is good. its pasta. è un pasta meraviglioso

good job talay

HUG DAY IS MAKING ME SO HAPPY

I LOVE HUG DAY SO MUCH

HIS LITTLE POUT WHAT THE HELL THEYRE SO SOFT IM DYING

"day 2: flirting day" OH MY GOODNESS I NEED THIS

this is what i needed for soundwin after episode 9

anyway

BRO THIS IS THE MOST AUTISTIC FLIRTING IVE EVER SEEN??

huge props to this guy, damn

PUENS LITTLE STICKY NOTES FOR TALAY??? IM SOBBING THIS IS AMAZING

i love that puen's nickname for him is "Lay" its so sweet

this is incredible so far but i have one question: when the hell is the child introduced and also WHY and also HOW

FEEDING DAY??? BROOOOO

THE CHIPS

THE FREAKING CHIPS

HOLY HELL ITS THE CHIPS

IM GETTING INSANE FLASHBACKS

THEYRE BOUTA KISS

PLEASE KISS

come on bro, not again

why do you shower yourselves in chips

you did it with popcorn last time

and then you presumably had to clean it all up

now you have to clean up all the chips

why would you do that

why does he keep doing this

this is a really weird habit of his

puen, you confuse me

"confession day" why is that so funny

massage day, nice

KISSING DAY?? GIERJDBKG

OMG THE SONG

GJKBERDFGKHJ I LOVE THIS SONG

MEMORY DAY??? NOOOO THAT WOULD MAKE ME CRY

THE FREAKING PINK PASTRIES???? BRINGING THE TEARS IMMEDIATELY OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS GRAVY GUSTAV

NOOOO

NOW IM SOBBING EVEN HARDER

its the fact that "memory day" means to both of them the place they fell in love; the universe they dwelt together; the friends they made; the friends theyll never see again; the memories they created together; the lands where they wandered side by side, hand in hand, arm in arm, heart in heart.

im fine.

ooo going out day

THE FREAKING HELMET

IM NOT OKAY

I AM VERY NOT OKAY

HOLDING HANDS DAY???

"honk the horn if you want me to hug you" GHERIUJDFGHKREJBFN

theres too much fluff

too much fluff for my sad little heart

a buttload of fluff for the eclipse, and now a buttload of fluff for vice versa

hey google, how to deal with happiness

theyre so freaking cute what the hell

ooo day 30: surprise day

two things to say about that

1. aye apparently thought it was day 30 on akk's birthday

2. does this mean the child is gonna appear today? is this very un-subtle foreshadowing?

ah shoot puen is ✨choking✨

HES AN ACTOR

I FORGOT THAT HES AN ACTOR

HE WAS BEING OVERDRAMATIC

I HATE HIM SO MUCH

I LOVE HIM, BUT STUFF YOU PUEN YOURE SO DRAMATIC

FBOUARDHFGL THE BALLOONS AND THE PINK AND THE THING ON THE WALL AND GJRBDFNGJHRKBGD IM DYING AND CRYING AND FALLING OVER AND FALLING APART

i sense merch

WAIT OMG HE DREW TALAY IN THE WEIRD PICASSO STYLE?? TGJREIDGKN MATCHING PICASSO PORTRAITS IS SOULMATE BEHAVIOUR

OH ITS A WATCH

PROBABLY SO THAT TALAY CAN KEEP TRACK OF TIME SLIGHTLY BETTER

NRJFGBRHDBGF NEURODIVERGENCE

i love them

probably too much

theyre so sweet

OH I DIDNT EVEN NOTICE THAT

that rly shows how observant i am, doesnt it

"but i fell in love with you when you wore glasses" IM GONNA CRY ITS SO SWEET

im rly hoping someone has a full translation of the calendar because its a lovely idea

"thank you for joining me in doing this crazy stuff" bro if im right, its about to get a WHOLE LOT crazier. youre about to have a child.

puen's final surprise: "im pregnant"

DOORBELL

DUN DAHDAH DAAHHHHHH

CHILD.

oh no this child is cute

why must the child be cute

i hate children

its one of my defining personality traits

i despise children

(mostly)

(there are some exceptions)

why must i be immediately attached to the child

"is he another surprise from you" lmao yeah he just popped out a child for this specific day

NO BUT SERIOUSLY WHAT HAPPENED

WHY IS THE CHILD SUDDENLY THERE

IN THE RAIN

WITH A SUITCASE

ITS BEEN 5 YEARS

AND THEYVE NEVER SEEN THE KID

WHAT HAPPENED TO MAKE THE KID COME TO THEM

IS THE KID OKAY?

PROBABLY NOT, BUT WHY IS THE KID SMILING SO WIDELY??

THE KID IS SO HAPPY TO SEE PAPA

JIGSAW??? IS THAT THE KIDS NAME?? THAT'S AN INCREDIBLE NAME WHAT THE HELL

jigsaw and his four dads raising him

TUP

THAT'S THE NOT-UP GUY'S NAME

HELLO TUP

tup is also autistic i decided, and i love him

what if jigsaw is from the other universe.

its possible.

IEJRKDGN

WHY MUST I LIKE THE CHILD

IM SUPPOSED TO HATE CHILDREN

THIS IS DESTROYING MY REPUTATION

WELL NOW IM CRYING AGAIN

had to have dinner but im back

anyway WHAT THE HELL WHY MUST PUEN HAVE A SAD BACKSTORY ITS MAKING ME SAD

NOOOOOO

WHY AM I EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED TO THE CHILD

I HATE THIS FEELING

THIS FEELING OF KNOWING THAT I WOULD WILLINGLY DIE FOR THIS CHILD'S HAPPINESS AND WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR THIS CHILD TO JUST BE SAFE AND HAPPY

WHY MUST I FEEL THIS FEELING FOR A TINY HUMAN CHILD

I HATE IT

IM USED TO IT FOR CHARACTERS AND DOGS AND STUFF BUT WHY A CHILD

usually people are like "the feeling of responsibility for someone elses life" like its a good thing and im always like 'um no thanks i dont want to be responsible for that i can barely take care of myself' but now my brain is like LET ME BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS CHILD I WILL CARE FOR THIS CHILD AND DO EVERYTHING FOR THIS CHILD i hate this so much

i think its because the child's name is Jigsaw

its entirely bc of the funky name

"you bought a lot of stuff, so you're well-prepared" PUENS LITTLE SHRUG OMG

the shrug says 'what can i say, ive always wanted to be a dad but never wanted to tell you because i didnt know if you wanted that or not'

that could also not be the case, that is entirely possible

but the way puen's been acting since the child appeared makes me think hes either always wanted to be dad (or maybe wanted to be a dad since falling for talay) or the child awakened the dad-need inside him

omg i cant wait for puen's dad jokes

"i think jigsaw fits right into our lives, like a missing piece of us"

i swear if he doesnt say that at some point, im leaving

I KEEP INVOLUNTARILY MAKING NOISES

LIKE THE GOOD NOISES THAT I RESERVE FOR SWEET HAPPY MOMENTS THAT SHOCK ME A LITTLE BIT

kind of like an 'oh' mixed with an 'aw'

why is the oh-aw happening for the child

i dont like this feeling

HE BOUGHT COLOURING INS FOR JIGSAW?? BRO YOU WANNA BE A DAD SO FREAKING BAD WHAT THE HELL

they cant figure out whose kid it is. take the kid for a dna test you idiots

"does this mean jigsaw is my son? ...i dont have any savings. How am i gonna raise him???? i need to call my mum" BROOO HIS DAD INSTINCTS ARE KICKING IN AS WELL, I LOVE THIS

oh my goodness i think i might be dying

these scenes are too cute

theyre raising a child

theyre dads

and the child is DESPICABLY cute

THIS IS TERRIBLE WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS TO ME

FJEKBGSUEJB PUEN BEGGING TALAY TO FEED HIM I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

I LOVE THEM SO SO SO SO SO MUCH WHAT THE HELL

THEYRE SO FREAKING SWEET

side note: both of them have such pretty hair

"PAPA!" "YES?" "YES?" THEY BOTH YELLED YES INSTINCTIVELY THEYRE RAISING A CHILD TOGETHER THEYRE LITERALLY RAISING A CHILD TOGETHER WHAT IN THE HELL

AND TALAY GOT UP SO FAST TO RUN AND HELP HIM

THAT WAS SO FREAKING SWEET IM SO ANGRY ABOUT IT

anyway. see you in like. a few hours. (that is, if i stay up, which i probably will)

#quodekash watches our skyy 2 despite desperately needing to sleep #our skyy 2 #os2 #os2 vice versa #vice versa series #vice versa the series #puentalay #jimmysea #jimmy jitaraphol #sea tawinan #aou thanaboon #neo trai

13 notes · View notes

notcolleen · 2 years

Text

good morning this post is …not abt my eating disorder 😮

(it’s a coworker rant lol) (it got …..long 👀) (i started early this morning and am now finishing hrs later without changing times so sorry if some things don’t add up time wise) (not that ppl other than myself would know? but tumblr anons have me paranoid that everyone thinks im lying abt every little thing lmao)

[[MORE]]

anyway this has been a pretty solo trip for me, but im technically here with another woman from nj as well, whom i actually met last year working this same camp so we knew each other and have now spent over 3 weeks together total, not super long in the grand scheme of life but long enough to say we know each other

and i don’t dislike her at all, but this week it became a lot more clear that we are really different ppl, both professionally and just in life lol

and i kinda like that despite working at the same job/staying in the same hotel, we both quietly acknowledged that it could end there and we didn’t have to do things off the clock together. i didn’t see her at all outside of our work hours lol and that was fine.

but during work, she sat on her phone at a table away from the kids, and when she did need to “engage” with them, it was yelling. i heard her say “what is wrong with you??” or “why are you crying?” to 6 year olds too many times this week (1 time is too many times, 4 is ??? like why are you working in childcare) — and that is just what i heard, she ‘opened’ and i ‘closed’ so there were two hours each day where we were on our own and i dread thinking of how she spoke to them then 👀

on that note, she was supposed to clock in at 7am — get things set up, plan out the day a little, whatever. but every morning we would have an awkward moment where i would see her sitting in the hotel lobby eating breakfast as the time crept past 7 and she would still have to factor in the uber there and all i could think was what if i kid came early or if her uber didn’t get her there by 7:30 (when kids could arrive)??

but i would try to just drink my coffee and pretend i wasn’t aware of the time lol and i know she was annoyed that she had to wake up to open (bc she certainly lmk that) but i had to stay until the last kid got picked up (and parents were not always the most punctual coming from work ☠️) and then clean up so i was there until after my scheduled time each day, there were no early days that she kept telling me to ✨enjoy (also we are getting paid?? that’s why we’re here??)

but we are in the same role here — i am not her supervisor, i didnt feel comfortable correcting or redirecting her, i can’t give her training on how to speak to kids

….still, in the end, i did feel like i put a lot more work bc kids are smart and intuitive and are gonna go to whom they feel comfortable with — so even if i was trying to put stuff away or talk to a parent or whatever….even with her right there in front of them….they would ask/find me.

(i will say, it says something that by the end of the week they finally had learned my name and still didn’t even seem to know she was working there with me lol, or she was “the other teacher” ……like i don’t think im good at much, but i do know im good at interacting with / treating kids with the respect they deserve)

anyway i had started this post mostly to say that it’s also very telling that she clocked out of our last shift saying “ill see you when i see you” even though we took the same flight here, i booked our uber from the airport to the hotel together, and we have the same flight back — but just based on our endings vibes, i didn’t reach out to see if she wanted to share an uber there this morning**

i think she’s also upset with me bc we were both offered the opportunity to travel again with the company after this — and both told that it would be “either oklahoma or texas” — and both definitely preferred texas over oklahoma — and i made the mistake of telling her i emailed one of the higher ups voicing my discomfort with OK (mostly just thinking out loud before i sent the email) and even though i received this (wonderfully validating 👀) reply back:

it ended up that i was chosen to go to TX and she will be going to OK and i feel like she assumes the email played a role / that i used my discomfort as leverage. idk, i should have just waited it out but i was anxious abt it and when im anxious i tend to ramble/voice my inner dialogue and that’s what happened — it also lead to me basically coming out to her (if she hadn’t already figured that one out ☠️) and even before the decisions were made re: locations but after that, i felt a shift in our dynamic and overall it was just a mess after that day lol

**and now when i arrived at the airport, it turns out our original flight was delayed so much that we had to reschedule to guarantee making the connection……but she hadn’t checked in yet so idk what’s happening with hers……all i know is that our boss booked our flights so it’s all linked together and it wouldn’t show my boarding pass, only hers, so it kept trying to check her in when i just wanted it to register my boarding pass for pdx—>ord—->ewr instead of pdx—>den—>ewr and i was so anxious i was gonna miss my flight and so proud of myself for not crying when a very nice woman helped me out ……but then! 😔 i did cry bc when i mobile ordered a pumpkin load from starbucks…..waited 20 minutes for it…..told myself i could keep waiting bc i have done my time as a barista and know how annoying customers are……waited another 10 but then saw my ticket behind the screen so knew it had gotten lost in the shuffle and i would actually literally miss my flight if i didn’t ask the barista…..only to be told they were out, but would i be okay with a lemon loaf instead?…….no 🥴 not really 🥴 but am i anxious bc food still want to scratch my skin off when it’s not exactly what i want it to be? 🥴 yes 🥴

so i have to say that’s fine ! thank you so much ! have a good day ! 😌

anyway that’s when i took my lemon loaf and cried on the way to my plane

and here i sit

winning the secret competition for longest tumblr posts abt the most mundane things ever 😌 cya

7 notes · View notes

maizumis · 3 years

Text

— HAIKYUU BOYS HAVING A TEA PARTY WITH YOUR DAUGHTER

ft. timeskip!miya atsumu, bokuto koutaro, oikawa tooru, kuroo tetsuro, iwaizumi hajime

note: female reader ‼️ watch me write about dad!haikyuu all the moments I didn't have with my own sperm donor

MIYA ATSUMU after a long day at work, you were coming home a little more late than usual and as you were opening the door with a sigh, the first thing you listen is “PEASANT, DO NOT TOUCH THE QWEEN CWON”, yeah that’s definitely your daughter and your pretty sure that the “peasant” is your, oh so-called husband. Curiosity took the best of you, now you were behind your daughter’s door listen carefully what atsumu was saying to her, “WHATYA MEANT PEASANT? I WANNA WEAR A CROWN TOO YA KNOW!” your daughter gasps in disbelieve, “daddy, mom is da queen, I’m da princess and yer the peasant! And clearly, mommy isn’t here so don’t touch her cwon!” One thing you know is that you wouldn’t like to see and hear a screaming match between the peasant and the princess in question, thinking that stepping in is the best option, you said “what’s the matter in here?”, next thing you know, your daughter with his big brown eyes that she got from her father, comes running at you, screaming “momm- I mean queen! Yeah, queen! yer just on time for the tea party, this peasant needs to learn some manners” you picked her up, enjoying the way her little arms go around your neck, “yeah? What did dada do this time?” while her face is on your neck, she tells you with a whisper “psss mom, he is not dad now, remember is tea party time” and now with her voice a little more loud she announces to you what he did “he wanted to use ya cwon! Literally had to scream at him cause of that! Peoples this time are onbelivabol” the las part coming with a sigh, “ugh I now right? Why don’t we teach him some manners then?” After a little thinking, your daughter tells you “uh-huh! Yer right my queen, now I will leave to the bathroom and come back to continue this celebration”. While she leaves, atsumu comes at you with a back hug asking if ya really taking her side? with a low tone, so you replied with “of course I’m taking her side, she’s a child, our child in fact” atsumu looks at you with big eyes and tells you “she is right, people these times are onbelivabol but I still love you my queen”, now facing him, noses and foreheads touching each other you whisper to him “I love you to my peasant” and after a little chuckle you continue “thank you so much for this”.

BOKUTO KOUTAROU he always had tea parties with his daughter on Mondays after his volleyball practice with the MSBY. He couldn’t go to last week's party because of an away game, and he was devasted and promised her little princess that he would get her something. Now he is coming home from the airport with three Elsa dresses, one for his precious child, the other for his precious wife, and the last one for him, it was very difficult to find one of his size cause of his beefy body, but if he promises his little girl something, he is gonna make it without a doubt. “HEY HEY HEY! GUESS WHOS HOME” he screams while putting his suitcase down “HEY HEY HEY DADDY! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH! MOMMY IS MAKING DINNER WHILE I PREPARED OUR SUPER DUPER EXTRA TEA PARTY!!” he picks her up with one arm, making his way to the kitchen to involve you in a hug with the arm he had free “we missed you, kou” snuggling into his neck, and while his arm tightens around you he replies with a soft tone “missed my two girls too, so much” he puts her daughter on the floor again and tells her “missy I have a surprise for our tea party, why don’t you finish the preparations and then mom and I are gonna go there with dinner? Sounds good?” whit a little nod she answers with “yeah dada, that sounds good”. After hearing her enter her room you ask your husband what did he get for her, and when he tells you he didn’t get one, not two but three princess dresses you’re over the moon, the fuck you’re going to do with three dresses? you don’t question him and keep cooking as if you wouldn’t have to put on a frozen show in less than half an hour. “BABY IM COMING TO YOUR ROOM WITH HOT FOOD, BE CAREFULL” the little girl sees you in all your glory, with the most beautiful Elsa dress she ever saw “MAMA, WHY YOU DIDNT TOLD ME ELSA LET YOU BORROW HER DRESS? YOU'RE SO PWETTY!” laughing a little at her comment you decide that it was the best to tell her is a secret between adults, excited to see her reaction when her dad comes to her room with the same dress on him and a little one for her. “IM COMING IN!” your husband yells and your daughter’s eyes are the bigger you ever saw them, running like the flash to steal the dress that was in his dad's hands. “Daddy, that dress is so pwetty on you, and there's one for me! We are all matching! And now we are gonna have our four curse, ugh no, cruse, ump corse, mommy how do I say it?”, “course darling, four meal course. Now dada, why don’t you come to eat with us this fancy dinner?” after nodding and making his way to the both of you, bokuto thinks he is gonna ask for another kid one of these days.

619 notes · View notes

worminstuff · 3 years

Text

IM BORED. TBOTT HEADCANONS.

random obscure headcanons for the boys we all miss most- the tbott family.

warnings: pure family content. (there’s no tws)

word count: i don’t know i’m not even putting my auto caps on.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

dadza!

oh father phil, how we have missed you.

this man folds his socks.

drinks black coffee, but when wilburs making iced coffees and stuff, he always asks for one.

when techno was about 9 and said he wanted to learn how to ride a bike finally, phil was ecstatic. he was super excited but since techno is techno, he didn’t need phil’s help at all really. phil watched like a soccer mom while 9 year old techno taught himself how to ride a bike.

phil h a t e s mustard. tommy puts it in his burger when he’s not looking.

phil gets very worried when his kids get quiet. besides techno. but the other three- he gets reaalllll worried.

he once ate an entire apple, core and all, to prove a point to tommy. 4 year old tommy. he cried.

phil then acted pregnant for a week saying he was gonna have an apple baby. tommy hates apples now.

phil did feel bad after he realized what trauma he caused-

phil tries to give techno dating advice for y/n but techno always brings up the “but you’re single. and you’ve been single-“ every time. phil then mocks him like a child. techno finds it hilarious. (which is secretly why phil does it)

wil to the bur

he smokes cigarettes because they help him calm down, and he thinks the smell is actually nice.

he sleeps with like 8 blankets on his bed.

when he and techno where much younger, he used to sleep in technos bed with him. phil thought it was because techno had a nightmare or something but wilbur or techno never told him it was cause wilbur gets lonely at night.

wilbur = party animal

wilbur brought y/n to her first party, and it was bonkers. he has polaroids of them from that night that he keeps in his wallet.

wilbur takes tommy on “brother days” where they go on adventures and tommy picks where they go. wilburs favorite was when they played hide and seek in a target. he surprisingly didn’t loose tommy.

wilbur bakes when he’s stressed. that’s why tommy always has cookies in his school lunch bags.

when wilbur wanted to move out, y/n offered her house since no one really lives there but her parents still payed for it. and he was still close to home but with the independency he wanted. he didn’t take her up on it until a month after she offered.

wilbur doesn’t enjoy receiving gifts as much as he prefers to give.

wilbur got into a college near by, but tommy didn’t understand that it ment he would be staying home for school so he freaked. wilbur actually ended up spending the night in his room after explaining he wasn’t leaving his little bro.

wilbur did shit his pants in a park out of fear one time. he was 4. phil has a picture of him crying on the car ride home with no pants on and clean underwear. it’s in both their wallets.

satan spaw- tommy.

tommy had separation anxiety as a baby.

tommys favorite person is y/n because she’s the only mother ish figure he ever had growing up, and that resonated with him more than he could understand.

one time when tommy was about 8 he snuck over to y/n’s house because she wasn’t staying at theirs and he was scared something was gonna happen to her. he scared the shit out of her but she let him stay the night and brought him back early so phil wasn’t scared.

tommy bit a dog once.

tommy once tried to slap a bug out of tubbos hand and “accidentally” slapped him across the face. tubbo then ate an apple i front of him.

tommy cried.

tommys first girlfriends name was elle, she was a sweety. funnily enough tho, when she came over to hangout with tommy she met techno. apparently, she was quite fond of techno. the relationship was short.

tommy hates lady bugs.

tommy had velcro shoes till he was 10.

when tommy got much much older, he gave y/n a similar ring to the one he swallowed as a christmas present. she cried, which made him cry, and then phil cried, and then techno and wilbur laughed at them all.

tommy actually gave y/n a mother’s day card as a joke when he was like 17 but y/n cried and he gave her a big hug and she told him how proud of him she was and how lucky she felt to be a very loose version of a mom/big sister to him.

pink hair boy

y/n once told him he smelled bad and he didn’t talk to her for 48 hours.

techno and y/n started staying at her house once phil allowed them when they turned 18 and techno loved bonk (y/ns cat)

him and the cat were besties. bonk would sit on his shoulders.

techno holds y/ns pinky sometimes when he’s doing something but wants to sorta hold her hand.

techno likes to help y/n pick outfits, not in a controlling you can’t wear this cause to much skin, he just likes to make her try on a bunch of things.

techno had 3 favorite hoodies, one is one of phil’s old ones, one is from will, and the last he bought himself but tommy wears it often.

techno bakes with wilbur late at night sometimes.

technos fondest memory as a child was when y/n made him a book. it was a story about a rabbit, and he still has it on his bookcase.

after will graduated college and moved out of y/ns house and the sleepy house fully and got his own, techno and y/n actually moved in to her house.

they decorated it, and even painted it new. y/n was really greatful he let her stay in her childhood home.

but techno didn’t tell her it was because he was scared of moving away from tommy, and the treehouse too. he never wanted to not be able to have moments with her in the treehouse.

techno and bo became amazing friends and even ended up going to the same college. it was a community college but- yk-

#tbott #techno fanfic #technoblade fanfic #technoblade fanfiction #techno x reader #technoblade #wilbur soot #wilbur mcyt #wilbursootfluff #wilbur soot x reader #philza #tommyinnit #baby tommyinnit #sleepy bois x reader au #sleepy bois x reader #sleepy bois inc #sleepy bois fanfic #sleepy boys inc #sleepy bois au

407 notes · View notes

osita-iza · 4 years

Note

Helloo! I like your writing a lot!! If you don’t mind can i request the rva + v, and saeran with mc who’s really sensitive? Like she cry when someone raise their voice, or when she feel someone becoming distant to them? Im sorry if my english is bad 😅 thank you!! I hope it’s not burdening you

Thank you so much anonie! Don’t worry, It wasn’t a burden at all!!! Sorry if it took longer than you wanted, I’m taking two summer classes right now, and they’ve been a lot of work these past couple weeks. As a Certified Sensitive Bitch, I found this request really interesting. I tried to make all of their stories different to keep it from being repetitive.

I hope you enjoy it!! Requests are open <3

Possible spoilers: Jaehee’s Good/Normal Ending, some of Saeran/V/Seven’s routes.

Warnings: Slight swearing, not much.

RFA+V+Saeran: With a Sensitive MC (especially to yelling or distant)

Yoosung

He was stressed. He was just on edge. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. This exam season will determine whether or not he’s accepted to vet school. It’s normal for him to be stressed. He’s just a little stressed…

You made dinner that night, keeping your headphones in so your music didn’t disturb him. You had finished almost all of your finals last week, only having one this week, so you decided to help him out.

You put his dinner in front of him as you sat down across the table. You were on your phone as you ate, and he would take a bite every once in a while.

You tried to focus on your phone. You really really did.

...But he had literal bags under his eyes; something you hadn’t seen on him in a long time. You made dinner half an hour ago, and Yoosung had taken about two bites from it.

“Yoosung, have you eaten anything today?”

“What?” He glanced up from his textbook for a moment, not even long enough for you to look into his eyes. “Oh, yeah! Uh… I ate a little bit after you left earlier.”

“I left at 9 a.m. for class,” you said, “Yoosung, you need a break. You need to eat.”

“MC-”

“You’re gonna burn yourself out,” you insisted, “At this rate, you’ll collapse during your exam.”

“Can you just leave me alone? God just because you don’t know what you’re doing with your life doesn’t mean you have to drag me down with you!” He yelled.

You weren’t sure if you were more hurt or angry; your glare mixing in with your tears. “Oh, fuck you.”

Yoosung finally looked up at you with wide eyes. You never cussed at him. Should he be more worried about that or your tears?

You sniffled and covered your mouth, already feeling your throat burn as you tried to hold back more tears. Your hands were shaking, just wanting to scream at him about how you just cared about him, how he went for a low blow, how you needed to know that he was alright.

Yeah… he was more worried about the tears

“Just because you’re stressed about your exams doesn’t mean you get to yell at me,” you said with a shaking voice.

He didn’t know what to say, so you both just stared at each other for a moment. With a sigh, you grabbed your bag and walked to the door.

Yoosung’s mind finally caught up with his body, and he ran up to you to grab your wrist. “Wait- I- I’m so sorry!” You stared at where your hands connected. Yoosung took this as a sign to continue. “You were right. I didn’t take a break all day, and I took it out on you. Will you take a break with me... Eat with me?”

“...I can’t deal with being yelled at.”

He pulled you into a hug by your hand. “Then I’ll never yell at you again.”

You were still hurt, but you could feel his promise through his hug. “Wanna eat then?”

“Of course,” he said as he pulled back to kiss you on the forehead, “Especially since you made it, so it’s made with extra love!”

You smiled at him as you puckered your lips, and he kissed you.

“So you forgive me?”

“Mostly,” you said, “I think I need a couple more kisses to fully forgive you.”

Jaehee

Jaehee wasn’t the type to yell

She was raised in a household that didn’t want her. A household where her aunt always yelled.

While everything her aunt did hurt her, it was the yelling that taught her to shut up.

So she learned to disagree calmly. Or not at all.

You were the one who protected her. You stood up for her. To her you were the epitome of strength.

You looked at Jumin, one of the richest men in the country, and told him that he was being entitled with how much pointless work you gave Jaehee

You saw the woman who would work herself to the point of passing out, and you comforted her and showed her that she wasn’t alone

So when a customer began berating you for mixing up his drink with another customer’s (which you already apologized for and fixed), she was angry but not worried per se

You were the strongest person she knew

She would just give you a treat after he left, and you’d be fine

You could handle yourself.

“I just don’t understand! You have one fucking job- to make coffee and give it to customers. How do you mess that up?” His voice gradually raised in volume with every word

The anger in her body was building up with every word he said. She was debating before she heard a sniffle, and Jaehee turned around to see tears shining in your eyes

You took a deep breath and spoke in a low volume. “Sir...”

Oh hell no...

Her heart broke, releasing that anger throughout her body.

“Excuse me sir,” Jaehee said, standing next to you and putting her hands on the counter between you both and the customer

“What do you want?” he said

“You have absolutely no reason to be yelling at the employees here-”

“She-”

Jaehee’s glare seemed to get darker as she spoke over him. “She has already gotten you your correct drink. Offered you a refund. And apologized for the mistake. And even if she didn’t, there is no reason to yell.”

“This doesn’t concern you.”

“As one of the owners of this establishment, this absolutely concerns me. I will not tolerate a customer blatantly insulting someone in this premises. I have to ask you to leave, and you will not be served here in the future.”

He stared at the both of you for a moment before he threw the coffee cop on the ground and walked out of the cafe.

You grabbed one of the napkins and wiped at your eyes. “I’m really sorry, Jaehee,”

She pushed your hair out of your face and held your face in her hands. “You have nothing to be sorry for. It was a simple mistake, and you apologized,”

“No… for crying,” you sniffled. “I know I should be able to handle it-”

Jaehee shook her head. “No, you shouldn’t have to handle or deal with people yelling at you. And you won’t ever have to deal with it when I’m around, okay?”

“O-okay.”

Later that night, after the cafe was closed, she would have a better conversation with you. She wanted to know exactly what set you off, how she could help you calm down if it happened again, everything.

And she promised you -with her words and a kiss- she would never yell at you.

She knew you would protect her, but she would protect you too.

Your sensitivity was the reason why you were able to see the pain she was in, even through a screen

She would not let anyone use that sensitivity against you.

Zen

You were both really emotional

It’s what made Zen a good actor. It’s what made you able to understand people around you. It’s why you two were a good match, able to handle each other’s waxing and waning of moodiness.

But while your emotions made you cry, Zen’s emotions made him loud.

I mean, he was in a biker gang. He had to learn to be loud

He also had a bit of a jealousy problem. And he swore up and down that your coworker had been flirting with you at the company’s holiday party

He was pacing in the living room. Some of his hair was framing his face because he kept messing with his ponytail. You were sitting at the kitchen table, just tired as you watched him.

“Are you really telling me that you don’t know he’s into you?” he said. Zen’s voice rose in volume with every word, not quite yelling it but getting to it.

“Because he wasn’t, Zen. I wouldn’t let someone flirt with me, do you really think that low of me?”

“That’s not it! You’re missing the point here!” He shouted.

It was silent, save for his deep breaths. Zen was facing the wall, and he clenched his jaw.

“... I’ll just go home,” you said, voice croaking.

That made him turn around, and his eyes widened as he saw the tears shining in your eyes.

His feet and emotions turned 180 degrees.

“No, no, no, no,” he said as you stood up. He grabbed your wrists, trying to keep you from leaving. “Please, don’t leave. Let’s talk about this.”

“What’s there to talk about? You’ve already made up your mind,” you said, “And I’m not gonna sit here to just get yelled at,”

“I promise I won’t yell anymore. Please…”

You glared at him as you wiped at your eyes. “If you yell at me one more time, I’m out.”

“I promise I won’t.”

You sat down and talked through it- calmly this time. After you worked through the original fight, he had to ask. “Was it the yelling that made you cry?”

“I’ve always had a problem with yelling, even as a kid. Annoyed my parents to no end,” you said, already feeling the headache coming from the tears.

“I’ll work on that then. I won’t be the reason you cry. Never,” he said, “And you don’t have to hide your emotions from me, okay?”

You nodded, and tried to keep yourself from crying again because of how soft his eyes looked now. “Okay.”

“Good. Because I want to take care of my princess.” Zen smiled and kissed you.

The only reason he wanted you to cry was because of his amazing acting performance, never anything else.

Jumin

His father had a new fiance, and Jumin was in charge of the contract between C&R and her family’s company

How his father didn’t see the obvious motive in that… but the company wasn’t horrible, so Jumin decided to keep his mouth shut

That didn’t mean he was happy about it though…

Without realizing it, he was falling back into old habits

Jaehee was complaining more and more in the chatrooms about the workload, which Jumin was brushing off

He was leaving for the office earlier and earlier in the mornings. Coming home later in the evenings. He started bringing work home too, something he never did before.

You could probably count the hours that you guys were spending together on one hand. You knew he was busy with work and it was understandable that he would be distant

But… you needed Jumin.

You moved out of your crappy apartment with a faucet that always leaked even though you called maintenance about it at least every month into a penthouse where you could have everything taken care of with the snap of a finger

To say it was a lot would be the understatement of the fucking century

The only constant you had- the only thing that felt that home- was Jumin

Maybe you should do something? To make him feel loved?

So you told his personal chef to take the day off, you were cooking tonight

You went to the nearest grocery store, trying to not feel like everyone was staring at you when the bodyguards followed you in.

This grocery store was a lot more boujee than the one you went to as a kid (or an adult for that matter). One of the bodyguards could see you were just wandering down the aisles, so he took pity on you and led you to where the ingredients were.

You thanked him profusely before you began cooking in the kitchen, which also took you a bit longer to get a hang of.

Apparently rich people have different stoves… good to know

Finally you finished cooking dinner, right when Jumin got home. You assumed he would be home later than he said he would… and you were right

“Hi Jumin!” you said as he shut the door

“Hi, love,” he sighed as he kept walking, making a beeline for his home office

You followed him a couple of steps. “I made dinner! It was one of my favorites as a kid. I was wondering if you wanted to try it-”

“I’m really sorry. I have a lot of work to finish up tonight. I’ll be sure to try some tomorrow.” He turned around to kiss your forehead before walking into his office, shutting the door behind him. Not even sparing you a glance.

Your throat began burning as tears began shining in your eyes. Without a word, you walked to the living room and sat down on the couch. You covered your mouth as the tears fell.

Of course Jumin doesn’t want to spend time with you. You can’t even keep yourself from crying because you’re not getting attention. He didn’t even do anything! He didn’t yell. Didn’t snap at you. His emotions are always in check; he’s always rational.

Meow

Elizabeth jumped onto your lap, and you held her close to your chest as you wheezed for air. She kept meowing as she cuddled into your chest. “At least you want me around, Elizabeth,” you whispered.

“Why is Elizabeth meowing so much? It’s distracting” Jumin asked as he walked into the living room. His eyes widening a fraction of an inch when he saw your teary face

You looked Elizabeth in the eye. “Snitch.”

He frowned, sitting next to you. “Darling, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I’m just being overly emotional.” You said, pulling Elizabeth back into your chest. “It doesn’t matter.”

Jumin frowned and put his hand on your leg, squeezing it lightly. “You were able to empathize with my emotions. Ones that I didn’t even know I had, let alone articulate. Your strength is your emotions; a strength I can never replicate. Don’t dismiss your emotions, please. Especially not with me,”

Well now you were going to cry again.

You leaned closer, and he wrapped his arms around you. He rubbed your back as you let out the last of your tears, leaving an imprint of your wet cheeks on his button up

When you could finally breathe normally, you spoke up. “I went to the grocery store today- to buy things for dinner. And I was lost, but I didn’t want to ask a manager because the bodyguards were right there. And so Mr. Park ended up showing me where to go. And I come home, and it takes me half an hour to just figure out how to work the stove because there are so many knobs that do nothing, and god damn they don’t even say what temperature you’re heating up to clearly! And then I taste the food, and it tastes nothing like how it did as a kid because the ingredients aren’t the generic brand.”

“May I ask where this is going?” Jumin furrowed his eyebrows.

“I changed everything about my life to the point where making my favorite meal isn’t normal for me anymore,” you said, and he frowned. “Don’t get me wrong. I know that’s part of the Jumin Han package, but it’s only worth it if I’m getting Jumin Han too”

“What do you mean?”

“We’ve had dinner together twice this month,” you answered, “I wasn’t raised to handle this. I can only handle this if I have you. I can’t do it otherwise,”

Jumin frowned. He kissed you slowly, making sure to savor the feeling of your lips against his. When was the last time he kissed you like this? He couldn’t remember.

“I’m sorry, love.”

“I know you’re busy-”

“Still. I can’t imagine my life without you. I should be treating you as such. And I promise I will be doing better from now on.”

You spend the night eating dinner and relaxing in the living room.

After that night, Jumin makes sure that you both get to eat dinner at least twice a week. Nights where you both just focus on each other, and there’s no work.

(Sidenote: Jumin’s new work-life balance trickles down to Jaehee, and she swears she would give you her first born if you ask for it because of this)

Saeran

Being an ex-cult member came with a lot of challenges

He had made a lot of progress. The anger and aggression he had mostly subdued as he got help, and he was proud of himself (first time he had ever felt that). He even had a job now; something he had never even dreamed of.

But today he had like three customers scream at him. One of them even doing it in front of his manager, meaning he got an extra lecture.

Saeran decided to walk home from work instead of taking the bus, seeing it as a way to burn off some steam and avoiding a confrontation with a stranger.

He groaned as he got home and took his shoes off before he heard the TV show pause.

Shit.

He forgot today was your day off.

He went to rush into your bedroom, avoiding the living room you were sitting in, but you followed him in with a smile, wanting to talk to your boyfriend. “Hi Saeran. How was work?”

Saeran clenched his jaw. His immediate reaction to scream. Instead he clenched his fists. He couldn’t yell at you. He couldn’t lose his temper with you. He couldn’t.

“Rough day.”

He sat on the bed, and you frowned from the other side of the bed.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” you asked, voice soft.

He rested his elbows on his knees, dropping his face into his hands. His hands were shaking already. “I think I need to be alone right now.”

“Okay… if you change your mind I’ll be in the liv-”

“For the love of god, would you shut up?” he yelled, not even sure where it came from himself, “I already told you to leave me alone, so could you fucking listen for once in your life?”

It was silent, save for your deep breathing. You turned around, shutting the door behind you.

He felt nauseous.

You were incredibly patient with him, almost more patient than Saeyoung. You didn’t ask for a lot. You just told him that you couldn’t handle yelling, never had, and you probably never will. It always made you scared.

You didn’t outright tell him not to yell at you, but he figured out that’s what you meant when you said it quietly to him one night.

And he promised himself he would never do that to you. Saeran put you through enough already; he couldn’t scare you now.

Saeran took a shaky breath. His body both tense and loose at the same time. He couldn’t relax, but he also wasn’t in control of his body.

He sat on the bed for who knows how long before he stood up, ready to apologize.

The TV was still paused in the same time as before, and you weren’t in the living room.

His heart began racing.

What if you left? Were you safe? Did you leave him? Did he ruin this in the matter of minutes?

Saeran’s hands gripped onto the cushions of the couch as anxiety took over his body.

Then he heard a sniffle and a gasp coming from the bathroom. It was clear what you were doing. He felt both worse and better.

Saeran knocked on the bathroom door, and the whispering noises somehow got quieter. “Can I come in?”

Your voice croaked. “It’s open.”

His heart tightened as he opened the door. Your eyes were puffy and red. Tears still attached to your eyelashes. “...Hi” you muttered, refusing to look at him, instead focused on the towel in your lap. You must have used that to muffle yourself.

“I- I’m sorry. I was trying to keep myself from yelling, but I lost control when I shouldn’t have. I know I shouldn’t have. I’m so sorry…”

You nodded, still refusing to look at him. He wanted to hug you. Pull you in, rub your back, stroke your hair and promise you that it would never happen again. But he had promised himself that it would never happen in the first place before.

You were always the one comforting him. This was the first time he had done it for you, made even worse that he was the reason you needed to be comforted.

You let out a whimper and wiped away your oncoming tears. “Yelling just scares me and hearing it from you-”

Saeran stepped towards you, grabbing your shoulder and pulling you against his torso. You could feel how tense he was; you were practically leaning against a wooden plank. He was really trying.

“I… I promise I’ll try better next time. I don’t like you being scared of me or seeing you like this and knowing it was me. It won’t happen again,”

You looked up at him, and he patted your head on instinct. You furrowed your eyebrows, too confused to really be scared anymore.

If anything was gonna make Saeran seem less scary, it was gonna be his concerned eyes as he struggled to comfort you. “You’re trying right now, huh?”

“I am. And I promise I’ll try harder.”

“Can I have a kiss?”

He leaned down and kissed you. “Do you want to go watch TV? So I can make it up to you.”

You nodded and as you cuddled into his side, holding onto his hand tightly, Saeran pulled out his phone.

He wrote out an email to his therapist:

Can we move up my appointment?

He was gonna try better. He wouldn’t do this again.

January 26th… The week of their anniversary

Or at least it would’ve been

Don’t get it twisted. He loved you. More than he had ever loved anyone else before. He would never trade his experiences with you for her.

But it was the week of their anniversary.

That Sunday was supposed to be their wedding date.

Monday was explainable.

People just want their alone time sometimes

So was Tuesday…

And Wednesday… sort of

But four days of your boyfriend that you lived with not talking to you?

That was not alright

You made more of an effort Friday, hoping that if you pushed him for a conversation, he would speak up about whatever was bothering him

You both had been home for about five hours now. You had tried starting a conversation about ten different times.

You couldn’t anymore.

If you talked again, your voice would probably crack. So you went into the bathroom, cried it out, and went to bed early.

Both you and V were praying for this week to end.

Sunday was their anniversary, and V told himself that everything would be normal afterwards.

But Saturday was your breaking point

When V left for rehearsal, you got your phone, dialed Seven’s number, and sat down on your bed.

“Hey ho! What’s up, MC?”

Does Seven even know?... “Has V told you anything this week?”

“What?” Seven asked, and you could hear him shuffling around on the other end. “Is something wrong?”

Shit you were already crying. You wiped at your nose and sniffled to clear it. “N-Nothing. He’s just been really quiet this past week, so I was worried.”

“Quiet?”

“Yeah, he hasn’t really talked to me at all really,” you confessed. Hating that your tears were running down your face. Holding in your emotions was like trying to stop a tsunami with a spoon. Your voice cracked, and you hoped that Seven was dumb enough -just this once- to just let it slide. “I was just wondering if he talked to you about anything that I should be worried about.”

“MC, are you crying?” he asked.

“Is that a yes or no, Seven?”

“MC-”

“Seven!” you snapped back before covering your mouth to keep any sounds from escaping. “I’m sorry for yelling. But has he?”

“No…”

“Okay, thanks for talking to me though. I hope you have a nice day.” You heard him try to say your name, but you hung up before he could finish. He called a couple more times, but you ignored it.

You cleaned yourself up and went to work

Your chest was heavy when you got home, and V cleared his throat as you took off your shoes

“Hi,” you said, “Have you picked what to have for dinner?”

He stared at you for a moment with furrowed eyebrows. “Uh… I was stuck between the Chinese place and pizza place.”

“I’m good with either.”

It was silent for a few moments as you went through the mail, avoiding looking at him. “I talked with Luciel today.”

There it was…

“Can we talk?”

You nodded and sat down at the table.

You spoke up before he could. “Why have you been distant this week?”

“My anniversary and expectant wedding date with Rika is Sunday,” V explained, “I was reminded of her, and my first instinct was to distance myself again.”

You wanted to be mad at him, but you understood it. “Are you okay?”

“I’m… getting better. I wouldn’t say I’m good, but better than the beginning of this week,” V said

You took a deep breath, hating the burning in your throat as tears appeared in your eyes. “You could’ve just said that, and I wouldn’t have pushed you to talk more about it,” you breathed out and wiped at your face, “I thought…”

He furrowed his eyebrows and grabbed your hand. “You thought what?”

“Sometimes I worry that you’re only with me because I was conveniently there when you were going through everything,” you confessed. And he felt his chest tighten. “So when you did pull away from me, even though it was just for a moment… I was scared.... I was scared that you realized that too,”

He leaned over and kissed you, tasting the salt from your tears. “I promise, I love with all my heart. I appreciate that you were there for me, and I cared about you then. But I’ve fallen in love with you a little bit every day, over and over and over again since then,”

You smiled at him as crying took over again, and you wrapped your arms around his neck. He held you as tears wet his shirt, rubbing your back as you did. “I love you,” you said into his neck, the words garbled.

“I love you too,” V whispered. “And I’ll remind you of that everyday if I need to.”

Saeyoung

Saeran was hurting right now. Saeyoung knew that. He was just scared. It was scary to be in the mental health ward. To be away from Mint Eye, all he knew for years.

But when Saeran yelled at him… That he abandoned his brother. He hurt everyone around him. That Saeran was better dead than with his brother.

That Saeyoung didn’t deserve love. The only thing he was good at was corrupting people.

… It was hard to not let it sink in.

Because Saeran was just saying everything Saeyoung had told himself before.

So Saeyoung was silent as he drove home. You and Vanderwood were working today, so he was silent as he cooked dinner.

And he was silent when you came home. Only saying hi and that dinner was done before grabbing his plate and eating at his desk.

There was a pit in your stomach as you followed him. “Is something wrong?”

“No.”

“Then why are you avoiding me?” you asked.

“God. Why are you even still here?” he snapped, turning to look at you. His eyes weren’t even angry just… empty. “You had your party. Mint Eye is gone. The agency isn’t after me… so why are you still here?”

And then he turned around to face his screen again.

That pit in your stomach had traveled all across your body. And god was it heavy.

Your throat burned.

The walls were closing in on you.

And there was Seven. Just sitting at his desk typing.

You wrapped your arms around you. Making yourself smaller, as if that would save you from the suffocation.

You were just frozen. Slowly you stepped out of your shared room and walked to the front door.

Silent, just like he was, you stepped outside.

As if the fresh air was caffeine, your body woke up, letting the tears run down your face.

You stumbled into the lawn outside and sat down, letting the damp grass cool your burning skin. You covered your mouth as you sobbed.

Over and over again. Sobs and whimpers, muffled by your hand, would rack your body. You would finally calm down and take a deep breath. And the coldness would burn your throat and set you off again.

A headache echoed in your head as you laid on the grass, staring up at the stars. Finally too exhausted to keep up the crying. They reminded you of Saeyoung.

Fuck him for ruining stars for you.

“What the hell are you doing, kid?” Vanderwood asked as he crouched next to your laying body.

“Looking at the stars.” Your voice was raspy, barely there after your meltdown.

“Are you okay?” they asked as they sat down next to you. “It’s late, ya know? It’s not safe out here.”

“I’m not going inside.”

“Hey-”

“Thanks for your concern.”

With a huff, they stood up, and you heard the security questions before the door opened. It shut. Crickets.

The door opened again. And someone sat next to you with a sigh. You’d recognize that cologne anywhere. You pulled your knees up to your chest and wrapped your arms around them, refusing to look at him.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said those things.”

“It’s not even what you said. It’s how you said it,” you responded, still avoiding his gaze. “It was like we were back in that fucking apartment.”

“What?”

“I was back in that fucking apartment. There was a bomb, a kidnapper, and you refused to even look at me. Everything was out of control. I felt like the exact same bomb was in the bunker back there. It was just happening around me- to me. All I could do was just wait. Just sit there waiting!”

Unlike before, where he didn’t want to say, now he couldn’t speak. What was he going to say? Was there something he could say?

You were so calm the entire time you were at the apartment. Crying only after Saeran broke in. At least the only time he saw. How many times did you cry when he wasn’t looking? He thought he was the only one freaking out because you seemed to only be focused on him.

But you couldn’t control the bomb. Couldn’t stop Saeran. Stop Rika. Couldn’t even tell the RFA the truth.

But you wanted to help him. That was the only thing you could do.

Seven didn’t see the panic attacks in the shower. Or you crying into your pillow.

“I can’t do this again Seven. I can handle all of it. But not this. I can’t just sit here and watch you do this all over again. Over and over and over again! I can’t-” You sobbed, and Seven pulled you into his chest.

He shut his eyes to keep his own tears from falling. Your back rose up and down as you gasped for air, his shirt becoming wet.

Seven rubbed your back slowly and kissed the top of your head. You pulled away; your eyes finally dry. “I won’t push you away again. I promise I won’t cut you out.”

“Saeyoung…” you mumbled.

“No. I mean it,” he said. “I’ll do whatever it takes. I won’t shut you out again. I won’t make you go through that again.”

He looked you in the eye with a smile that disappeared for a moment. “I promise, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Do you want to stay out here or go inside?”

“I want to stay out here a little longer.”

“That’s fine.” He held your hand as you laid out on the grass again

#mystic messenger headcanons #mystic messenger headcanon #mysme headcanons #mysme headcanon #mystic messenger #mystic messenger fanfic #rfa+v+saeran #requested #anon

319 notes · View notes

theimprobabledreamersworld · 3 years

Link

Yayy! Despite trying to fight off a monster of a cold, I’ve got a new chapter written! :D

As I mentioned yesterday, this one is written from Logan’s POV because I’ve been wanting to create a back story for him in this story :)

I’ll post the chapter under a line on here, but please check it out on Ao3 too! I love reading comments and stuff to find out what people think :)

Hope you like it!

Taglist: @psychedelicships @edupunkn00b @jwillowwolf @kacklingisanart @look-ma-im-on-tv @stardustlv @lost-in-thought-20

Chapter 5. My Heart Was Made Of Stone. And You Broke It Twice.

“But the wind has changed. My walls are weakening. They’re gonna fall soon. And I’m gonna need you.”

Logan was a man who always kept his emotions in check. He never let himself get too consumed by any kind of feeling. Happiness, sadness, love, hate, anger… Ever since he was sixteen, he refused to be vulnerable ever again. If you’re vulnerable, you can be broken. He had been broken far too many times when he was growing up.

His parents were agreeable, he couldn’t deny that… but he was never enough for them. Even as a young child, nothing was quite good enough. He remembered when the class teacher told his parents that he was the first child to learn how to write his name… he stretched up to show them and they let the paper flutter to the floor saying it wasn’t neat enough. He was only four! It got worse as he got older. Every time he was proud of something he had achieved, like getting a high grade, he was always asked why it wasn’t full marks. The unattainable goals were never reached and it took a lot to even vaguely satisfy them. He worked himself into the ground for the entirety of his school life, it affected his health, but they still weren’t happy. He was never strong enough, creative enough, serious enough, smart enough… and it hurt so much to know that. His friends however were amazing, they would always encourage him and make him take breaks when they knew he was working way too hard. They could always cheer him up and he was eternally grateful for that. Logan clenched his fists… he hated how much it knocked him down when he would walk in smiling over something that happened at school, to be told they weren’t interested and to just go and study. He always set himself up for the fall almost every day… no wonder emotions became such a hinderance. Luckily, music was his salvation for about eight years.

Logan took his head out of his hands, readjusted his eyes to the light and felt how raw they were from crying before staring at the dusty piano in the house intently. He used to be pretty good at playing. He loved his classical music, and still does. Just not playing it anymore. When he still had lessons, he was always thrilled with the challenge of increasingly difficult pieces given to him by his teacher. It was funny, his music teacher was the only person who ever truly believed in him. He was also the one person who could convince Logan to perform. The last concert he ever played in was the day before his sixteenth birthday, he played his most difficult piece to date… Chopin’s Fantasie Impromptu Op 66. They decided on that because it was originally a piece that no one was ever supposed to hear, Chopin never wanted it to be released after he died… but they did it anyway. His teacher said that he could then perform it however he wanted to, artistic interpretation and all that. He practiced and practiced at school so his parents wouldn’t hear it before. When it got to the concert, and his parents actually turned up, he was genuinely surprised. He walked out on the stage and sat down looking for his teacher who gave him a smile and a thumbs up, then the music began. He felt almost like he was watching himself play, he had never played with such determination before and as the final note rung out… there was silence. Before the room broke out into applause, his teacher was standing up clapping vigorously, then some of his classmates and other parents stood up too. His parents however were sat down, clapping politely with a neutral expression on their faces and Logan’s smile faltered. He gave a quick bow and walked quickly off the stage. His teacher followed him and gave him a hug while telling him how proud he was. Logan couldn’t stop the tears, he had never cried in front of another person, but no one had ever been proud of him before either. How embarrassing. The first time he had been shown positive interest by someone he respected, and he cried until the top of their shirt was damp with his tears. His teacher just held him and told him everything was okay. After he had calmed down and the tears had stopped, he went to go and join his parents for the second half of the concert, but their seats were empty.

In that moment, he didn’t get upset again and stayed unusually calm, and he knew that this was the final straw. He stayed at a hotel for the night at the insistence of his teacher, that way he could sort out his head and start looking up different apartment options. Which he did realise could be tricky as a sixteen-year-old… but he was smart, reliable, didn’t drink or smoke and had a substantial amount of money at his disposal. He waited until the morning and snuck back into his parent’s house to collect all of the things that he deemed necessary. Thankfully, the hotel manager was understanding and let him stay for the bare minimum price until he could find an apartment for himself. It took a few months, and the landlord had to be persuaded by his music teacher, but he found an apartment which was close to everything he needed and was affordable. One day, he would repay that teacher back for everything he had done for him.

He looked at the calendar, the picture of him and Virgil smiling and holding up their wedding ring hands was taunting him on the wall. He noticed the date. Wow, it had been ten years since he left without looking back, and he never heard a single word from them.

That was clearly for the best.

Ever since then, he never let emotions get the better of him ever again. However, as he looked around at the decimated living room, he had clearly broken and let all of those emotions consume him once again. Logan inspected the damage, as he traced the hole in the wall, the shattered photo frames and glass covering the floor, it caused his heart to fill up with regret. His heart was already full of pain, the regret was enough to make his heart quite literally tear in two. Virgil was the first person he felt like he could be vulnerable with again. When they first met, there was something about him, something that reminded him of himself. Maybe this guy was just as broken as he was, as he saw him hiding in the corner of the coffee shop trying to stay away from the world. He told Virgil this many times, but he had encased his heart in stone to keep it safe. As their relationship developed, as stupid as it sounds, he could feel the stone wall cracking and breaking off piece by piece, and he honestly didn’t mind in the slightest.

Now, he didn’t know what was going on with his heart. He was hurt, he was angry. It’s not every day you find out that the man you’ve been married to for the last five years spent most of his life as a well-trained and dangerous assassin. Going by Virgil’s words alone, the body count to his name is staggering and who knows how many people he’s hurt over the years. The argument they had earlier in the evening was playing on repeat in his mind.

“I couldn’t tell you!” Virgil shouted across the room.

“Why the hell not?! I’m your fucking HUSBAND Virgil, you are supposed to trust me. No matter what’s happened in your past!” Logan rubbed his forehead in frustration.

“Okay, you want to know why I hid everything from you? I did it to PROTECT you! My past is something that can be used against me, it is still being used against me. If anyone from it came after you… I would never be able to forgive myself!” The tears wouldn’t stop rolling down Virgil’s face as he spluttered out the words while his body shook with sobs.

Despite the hurt of seeing Virgil in so much pain, Logan couldn’t contain his anger. “What makes you decide if I need protecting? I can handle myself, ever since I was sixteen I’ve been on my own… You know that!”

Virgil sighed, like he was debating whether or not to say his next sentence.

“Remember when we met all those years ago? You told me about how you were attacked and how scared you were after it? Well… it was me. I was the guy who saved you. Every day since that moment, I vowed that I would protect you no matter the cost. Then I fell in love with you along the way, and I’ll love you until the end of time. If you want to know the truth about me, I know he gave you something. Look at it, and I won’t blame you if you try to turn me in to the police afterwards. I have to go now though, otherwise you will get hurt… I’m sorry, Lo.” Logan was left dumbfounded, and Virgil ran out of the front door, slipping away into the night.

There had been so many lies and too many secrets. He remembered that USB stick he threw in a drawer months ago. He opened it up and stared at the blue object, the label that read ‘Virgil… ?’ taunted him mercilessly. He looked over at his open laptop that was spared from his destructive anger, should he look at it?

Logan shook that thought away instantly, he needed to clear up first before making any kind of decision. He crouched down on the floor and started to sweep the glass over towards the sofa with his hand, just so he could clean it properly soon. He got to the first photograph, him and Virgil sitting in a restaurant holding hands and smiling at the camera. That picture was taken by Thomas and Nico, their two closest friends… He thought he should text them and see if they could come over. Virgil left half an hour ago, and he already felt too alone.

He’d contact them later, but for now. He wanted to stare at photographs and revel in his memories.

#fanfiction #ao3 #My story #ts fanfic #ts fandom #au #ts logan #ts virgil #assassin au #new chapter

5 notes · View notes

chaotixalex · 3 years

Text

aight, so today i had a shitty day. lemme tell u about it n then how i fixed it.

woke up at 8 am to go to the hospital for an ultrasound. it's a mandatory one bc im gonna have an endoscopy on Saturday (IM FUCKING FREAKING OUT )

so I wake up but i have to stay hungry for the scan so i dont eat. but they also need my bladder to be full aka me being in the brink of me pissing myself so I keep drinking water.

fast forward to 9, i leave home, but need i remind u my scan is due 10.20.

I get there 45 mins early, knowingly bc my mom's insurance is a bitch and it takes time to contact the company for the approval(this is also a good time to tell that this is a private hospital because this is where the doc for the endoscopy is working at, im just at a different settlement bc it's closer)

i get there and i already need to go but I also have to wait for like 40 mins, nvm i get the approval after 20 mins so I just wait.

then the assistant takes me in to the scan room, it's dark and cold and im already stressed/anxious AND THE OPERATOR DOES NOT COME IN FOR FULL 20 MINS so i just lay there with my belly exposed and gelled up

what might that lead to you might ask, well it leads me to having a full force breakdown/anxiety attack -the type that leaves u hyperventilating, y'know - because im worried about the result

i was and will be tested for a genetic disease that has wasted away two people I really cared about in front of my eyes day after day until they died and has taken away organs from both my dad an my uncle. so yeah it is important u might say that

fast forward, the operator comes, does her thing and then just keeps ignoring me, I get out and pay for the thing (private hospitals babe!!) while still in need to pee so much that it hurt and kinda still spiralling

then I ran straight to the nearest bathroom and continued my thing there after peeing

then I go to get a covid test bc it's mandatory to have it done within a week prior to the endoscopy

I go and the guy at the front desk says that my mum's insurance doesn't cover it and they ask for 250 bucks for it

so I call mum and ask for her to fix it, still very on the edge thank you very much, she calls some places and the insurance fails twice more before i can get the thing done

I get through that too and head home to change so I can go out with my friends (we're all vaccinated and had our masks don't worry)

I get home so that I can eat before I go but having been hungry for that long my ED decides to kick back in and I leave without eating

I go out and realise it's cold so I change my outfit and miss my bus and I take the expensive and creepy one,

i get to the subway and in the train a lady keeps looking at me funny and i manage to get off before I either punch her or start crying bc I thought it was bc of my makeup.

I get there we talk, I have two coffee but after 3~ hours having not eaten anything and wearing my binder catches up with me!! hurray I get weak knees and wobbly hands (I changed into my binder after I came home! hospitals are shit to work with if u have a binder so I only had it on for 4 hours)

but I push on and we go visit my old teacher which requires me walking A LOT (added to the spot I walked before)

then my friends decide to eat (and this is where everything goes shit) we go to KFC,

but need I remind u im now weaker and stumble on the stairs and then we go there to eat

i releessed so hard to keep lookong normal taht i DON'T REMEMBER EATING, i just remember the vibration that had taken over my whole body and how hard o tried to repress it

then we took the subway and we separated ways I took another bus but one j got off of that one

i almost passed out. almost.

i made it home safely, i did not done with my family, rested a little on my sister's insisting (she yelled at me for being irresponsible about the binder) (for a 14 eat old she sure can yell BIG TIME)

i rested a bit more and my mum asked me to do buns I started doing them and left them to rise and when I was shaping/BAKING them in the oven it started to rain

and to be honest it just made the stress f the day melt away

and i ate one cheese and two warm sweet buns

it was nice and it's still raining, everyone went to bed and im in my bed

im gonna read

yes, that was all thanks for coming to my ted talk!

#my ramblings #my day today #baking #hospitals #tw ed stuff #eating disorders #rain #buns

0 notes

autisticangus · 3 years

Text

anyway im so out of the loop on the mcelboys

i pretty much only keep semi-up to date with Sawbones at this point, not cuz i dont still LIKE everything else, just a lot has been goin on in my life

if anyone wants a long and rambly update on All Of The Bullshit im gonna stick a read more down here, asks are open and its cool to message me abt any of it if u want cuz i have some really nice and cool followers/mutuals here that make me comfy talkin abt that shit

as far as the future of this blog goes i wanna start using it more again! the mcelroys have gotten me out of some really dark places before so i hope having more connection to this community and the people here and their content again will help me like it has in the past! ill probs post more general mcelroy content here than previously rather than just taz btw i just gotta fuckin uhhhhh,,,, catch up on a bunch of shit again before this blog is even semi active lmaoo but im like alive and on tumblr regularly again!!

Wow u clicked on this and wanna hear me talk? Ur awesome and sweet, thanks for caring!

These past two years have been extraordinarily tough. This is gonna be a pretty long and detailed post that deals with the sensitive topics of emotional abuse, abusive relationships, and alcoholism. Please read on with caution.

Back in March of 2019, so this was about 3-4 months after i left tumblr, I got a new boyfriend and things started out really good, he was kind of a "bad boy" and it was fun at first. Im kind of a goody-goody so it was very interesting for me at first to be with someone so different who had such different life experiences than me. I liked hearing his stories of living in a traphouse, and running with gangs, and selling drugs, and knowing people who had killed people. I assumed a LOT of it was lies, obviously, who just brags about that shit u know? I just rolled with it, didnt take it seriously, and found the imagined scenarios interesting to listen to. So much of it was obviously played up to make him seem cooler, and I shouldve seen that as the red flag it was, and all my friends did but I didnt.

He had a serious alcohol problem, I mean I had coffee in the morning and he had 2 four lokos before noon. it was bad. about 6 months into the relationship he decided i was cheating on him with my ex who i had recently reconnected with, we missed being friends and things were really going well talking and being friends again, he was really important to me! but my boyfriend saw this as yet another thing i was doing wrong. when he decided i was cheating, that become his focus of alcoholic rage. nearly every time he got drunk, which was several times a week, he would accuse me of things, he would yell and scream, he would call me horrible names and make me cry for literal hours, he never hit me but that shouldnt even matter, i was emotionally battered and mentally bruised and everything hurt. he gaslit me into believing i said and did things i never said or did, i admitted to things that were not real, and then i was yelled at for admitting them. i didnt know what to do.

he was threatening my ex too, he would get drunk and say he knew where he lived (he didnt) or he knew what car he drove (he didnt) and explained to me many times that although he had never killed someone, people had been killed before at his command. he said a bullet in the back of my ex’s brain was just a phone call and $500 away. somedays he would tell me he was just going to do it himself, with a hammer, or a kitchen knife, or whatever weapon he could get his hands on during his explanation of how he would do it. my only option was to agree, to say it didnt matter to me what happened to him, i had to pretend my on

/ly concern was him going to jail for the crime, if i showed any sign that i didn’t want my ex murdered, it clearly meant i was cheating on him.

i pretended to block my ex on social media to get him off my back and it worked a little bit but he still brought it up. and even if he didnt directly mention him, he would always tell me when he was drunk that i was the cause of all his problems, i was why he was so self conscious, i was why he drank so much, i was why he had to work so hard, i was why every single issue he had was happening. logically i knew it was wrong, but i was so conditioned to it by then that i just went with it. i knew that agreeing and apologizing made the fighting end quicker.

things spiraled this past summer. his job needed us to relocate so we moved like 4 states away, away from all my family and friends, and lived in a tiny hotel room for a month. during this time, his drinking was somehow worse. he was drunk literally every night but he was passing out so we didnt fight and i was relieved. i was depressed being stuck in the hotel room all day alone, but thankful i wasnt being abused at least. then he started getting into drunken fistfights with his coworkers in the hotel parking lot. one day he came home just in time to find one of his drunk coworkers trying to break into the room with me there desperately trying to keep him out. i was terrified and wanted to go home but he convinced me to stay. a couple weeks after that we travelled for his work again several more states away. his drinking got a little bit better here, but i was so depressed and lonely, i was so isolated, he was all i saw day in and day out besides his coworkers and i was nervous around them. one day the guy who tried to break in on me, purposefully, while drunk, hit another coworkers car and totaled it and tried to run the guy over and i saw the whole thing. a week later my boyfriend was also fired because he got so drunk he passed out in the hotel parking lot and the company needed to save face with the hotel after the whole car incident.

so we travelled back home, but not my home, to his where we lived isolated on a mountain with no phone signal or wifi. the house was old and not well kept from being empty for several years, half the appliances didnt work. i was more isolated than i have ever been in my life. for 4 months i stayed there and just dreaded him coming home because i knew he would be drunk again and he'd yell or accuse me of things or otherwise belittle me. it was horrible. my friends all said to leave and my parents said to leave but i was so brainwashed into thinking that if i was just a good little housewife and if i just stayed home and did the dishes and the laundry that he would be nicer but he still found things to point at and say i was cheating. he was also becoming really controlling about my food intake and weight and i already struggle with an eating disorder so that just made me feel even more like i had to stay, my brain felt like if i wasnt under his watchful eye id gain weight again, like somehow it was thanks to him i had lost weight and not my own choices.

one day last week i expressed to him wanting to leave, saying how unhappy i was, i told him how sad i felt and how i didnt think we were such a good match. he didnt take me seriously, so the next day when he got sloppy drunk before 5 pm i packed a small bag and went to my moms. i was just gonna stay for a night or two but he called and screamed at me for leaving without telling him, i told him he just didnt remember me telling him because he was so drunk, and he accused me of not caring about his feelings and made me sound like the bad guy for leaving without his permission. i told him it was just for a few days but the angrier he got the more i knew i was in the right and told him i was done. i told him we were breaking up and id come get my stuff soon.

i got my stuff while he was at work this past weekend and moved in with my best friend. im safe and happy now. things are looking so much better for me and im so thankful to my friends and family who supported me all the way to the end.

i just wanted to make this post because, i know its not mcelroy related, and a lot of ppl probably dont care for stuff like this on this kind of blog, but i think its important.

its important to friends and family of people in abusive relationships to be steady. dont give up your ground. even if the person keeps pushing back and wont leave the person, keep being there for them, it can take a long time, it took me almost 2 years to leave, it takes some people even longer, but just stay there for them and be there for them when they finally make that step. dont give up on them.

and to those who have been in these kinds of relationships, and especially those who are there right now: it is not your fault. it is so, so hard to leave, i know, but please try to find help and support and resources to do it. if all your friends dont like someone, theres a good reason for it. please dont fall into the trap of thinking your friends dont have the best intentions for you. there are so many things you may overlook in the moment that others can see from a mile away are horrible. especially if you have been abused in the past. its incredibly hard to tell what is a red flag when your gut instinct is that anything and everything is a red flag. surround yourself with people who you can trust and listen to them

and trust me, i know how hard it is when youre stuck in that spot of KNOWING you should go but fearing that first step away. its scary. its difficult. but it is worth it. find someone safe you can be with. and if you arent sure, find a reason to leave for just a few days, an excuse, anything. give yourself space from the abuser, tell yourself youre going back in a couple days, just get out from under the thumb long enough to clear your head and things will make more sense with the fog lifted.

when i first got in my car and put my kitten on my lap and told her we were going to my moms for a couple nights, i didnt know if that was the truth. i planned to come back and i knew i didnt want to. i only took enough stuff for a couple days. i couldnt imagine my life changing so drastically. where would i live? how would i make money? who take care of me? i had no clue about any of those things. but after a couple days away I realized i would take care of me. i remembered that i had worked jobs before i was with him, i could do it again. i remembered that i had options of where to live. all of those things were so clouded when i was with him, they felt like impossibilities. once i was away, even just for a short time, things were so much easier to parse.

and i know i had many privileges in this journey not everyone is afforded, and my heart goes out to those who read this and are in this situation and the options i had just arent accessible to you, i am so sorry, i wish i had something more to offer you but all i have is my story, and a wish that it gives you some hope at the very least, and a promise that if you need someone to talk to, im here, i will listen, and you will be heard and loved.

i just want everyone who reads to take something small but important away from it. love your friends, love yourself. please stay safe. please dont give up. remember love should not hurt.

#angus.txt #getting deep in here but it felt good to write #i love u all so much ok pls be good urselves

10 notes · View notes

goldencatchflies · 4 years

Text

Time In A Bottle

[Read on AO3]

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Pairing: Derek Morgan/Savannah Hayes, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid (could be read as platonic)

Warning: Spoilers for 12x06 “Eliot’s Pond”

Word Count: 1115

Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of alcohol Alcohol, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Hurt Spencer Reid, Sad Spencer Reid, Moreid, again could be read as platonic, Savannah is a supportive girlfriend, because we stan Savannah Hayes in this household, Pining Derek Morgan, im bad at tagging, ://, Song fic, but a very very loose one, :), ANGST!!!, there is a lot of angst here, :))), Ok maybe not that much but a little bit, :))

A/N: Thank you to my bby @mayliia for being an incredible beta! ❤️ ilysm babes!!! ❤️ Takes place after 12x06: Eliot’s Pond

Summary: Hotch leaves. No goodbye, no letter, no nothing. He’s here one day, gone the next. And too many people leaving leaves Spencer running back to the arms of an old friend.

He wakes up- wait, when did he fall asleep? Does it matter? It’s was cold. Obviously. He was sitting shirtless at the window, which is open for some reason. He goes to his kitchen to grab a water bottle, only to step on broken, brown glass. He was already confused, I mean, first he was shirtless, which he only not wore a shirt if he was about to take a shower. Then the window was open... that one is so weird because, given that he’s rarely open the window it should be stuck shut. And now the broken glass on the floor? What in the hell was going on?

He removed the glass shard from his foot, and carefully walked around the broken bottle on the floor to get to the kitchen. His head started ringing. A very very high pitched ring, that made Spencer very very uncomfortable. He mindlessly grabbed an open bottle that rested at his counter, and drank what was left in it. He grabbed the broom, trying to ignore the ringing in his ears, and started sweeping the glass off his carpet.

He rushed to his his bedroom and put on an old Beatles shirt. Wait- a Beatles shirt? Where the hell did he get a Beatles shit from? He tried not to give it some thought and speed walked to the kitchen to get something- some type of medicine to free him of the ringing that had only grown louder. After a while it sort of faded away, and he was back to the empty, freezing apartment, with an unwanted Beatles shirt and mild headache.

He didn’t remember a thing. Mr. Eidetic Memory, didn’t remember a thing that had happened in the last 24 hours. Which only made him even more confused. Wait-hold on- he was sweeping a brown broken bottle off the floor- beer probably. Ok, ok... that’s a start. Maybe he got drunk and blacked out, which could totally explain why he doesn’t remember anything.

The t-shirt, it smells like Morgan. Wait, why does he have Morgan’s shirt. It took him a few second to remember why. A few years ago he spilled coffee on Reid, and, sure Reid had his own go bag with a spare shirt, but accepted Morgan’s form of apology, by letting him land him his shirt. He’d never really wanted to return the shirt, it’s fabric was soft, and it smelled so nice and comforting. Morgan never asked for it back either- he probably forgot though.

Ok, so that explains the shirt, but what about the window? Spencer moves towards it and locked it shut, automatically feeling a little warmer. The air conditioner! It’s been broken for a few weeks. Ok... Spencer laid in his couch in silence, staring at the ceiling. He didn’t really notice he was crying until de felt one of his tears slowly entering his ear, which made him flinch. He wiped his face with the palm of his hand, and ran it through his slightly curly hair. He got up from the couch, and tucked in his- Morgan’s- shirt on his pajama pants. For some reason he felt uncomfortable with it untucked. The memories of the previous day, slowly entering his mind again. The 3 missing kids, the twins from ‘83, Hotch never coming back- HOTCH! Oh no... no no no no no no no.

Spencer felt his legs weakening and fell back down into the couch. Once again he stared at the emptiness of his apartment, this time his wall. He was never seeing him again. Hotch, his mentor, almost like his father, he just left. Like Gideon. Like his “real” dad. They all just left. And all of a sudden Spencer wasn’t sitting in his living room, staring absentmindedly. He was very much standing. In an all-too familiar hallway, knocking on an all-too familiar door. And he could smell the man on the other side of the door, or maybe it was the shirt.

“Reid?” Morgan open the door with a concerned sleepy look.

“Hi” was all Spencer could say, before he broke down crying again, nearly falling, his legs betraying him one more. Luckily Morgan caught him in his arms, and guided him inside. Reid just sat on Morgan’s sofa, knees to his chin, while Morgan made them something to drink. He came back with two mugs, and sat beside Spencer. He placed both mugs on his coffee table, and ran a hand down Reid’s knee.

“He left.” Reid’s voice cracked painfully, given his dry throat, obligating him to drink the tea Derek made them.

“Hotch... He left, Morgan, just like Gideon, my dad... Elle... He left- no warning, no goodbye, no nothing. He was here one day and gone the next.” He continued, full on crying and sniffing. Morgan just sat quietly, and pulled Reid in for a hug.

“Spencer?” Came a sweet and very sleepy voice from the doorway. Oh no, had he woken up Savannah? He hoped not. “Is everything ok?” She asked genuinely concerned. When she looks at Morgan, is when she noticed nothing was ok. She just nodded at the boys, and disappeared behind the door.

“At least you said goodbye.” This made Morgan’s grip on Reid’s arm tighten, and he stoked it up and down, in hopes of comforting him. “At least you said goodbye...” he repeated, whispering, as if trying to comfort himself. Derek took Spencer into his arms and embraced him, making Reid cry even harder. Morgan layes back, bring Reid along with him. He was laying facing upwards, with a crying Dr. Reid on top of him, head laying atop his chest, arms wrapped under the older man’s torso. Morgan ran his hand through Reid’s hair, and they just layer there in silence. It didn’t take long for Spence to fall asleep, but Derek couldn’t even bring himself to close his eyes.

“And do you have any idea how hard the was for me? I wanted to stay so badly, but this isn’t the kind of life for a parent. I had no idea Hotch was just gonna up and leave, but I’m so happy you came here- came to me- for comfort. I’ve missed you so much kid, and if I could go back in time I would just hug you for a bit longer. I would listen to you ramble about your statistics. And I would let you know every dam day how much I appreciate you!” Morgan whispered to him, crying, knowing he was too far into his sleep to hear anything he was saying. He placed soft, tender kisses all over Reid’s forehead, hugging him tight.

“I’d tell you I love you!”

11 notes · View notes

quodekash · 1 year

Text

OKAY I HAVE ONE HOUR BEFORE THE OS2 MSP EPISODE COMES OUT SO HOPEFULLY I CAN FINISH THE ABAAB EPISODE BEFORE THEN, imma try to dial it down on the commentary so that its faster

(also fun fact, i tried to do the mouthfuls of water when i mention how pretty anyone or their hair is thing that i suggested. and i had 48 mouthfuls of water and an immediate need to pee and i was worried that throughout the night i would suddenly become a 3 year old child and pee my bed. anyway.)

AH SHOOT YEAH THE NOTE HE LEFT

where the hell did cher go

we’re probably about to find out but i wanna formulate my thoughts first

(dang it now im thinking of first kanaphan bc i said ‘first’ STAY ON TRACK STAY ON TRACK STAY ON TRACK)

presumably hes gone back to like his home town thingy

but... why

i have no idea

we shall see

OH, STUFF YOU

VAFFANCULO TU OMOFOBO PEZZO DI MERDA

LA DETESTO, DETESTO MOLTO

LEI PUÒ MORIRE IN UNA BUCA FREDDA E BUIA ALL’INFERNO, PER FAVORE

STRDYTCFUVJYHKB

“you two are not a good match” LIES, LIIEEEESSS

NOOOOOO HE IS SADDDDDD

HHHWHYYYYY

“take care of your health” i love jack so much

guys we’re nearly 6 minutes in and i havent mentioned jack’s hair ONCE

okay well i just did BUT THAT DOESNT COUNT

THIS IS A CAUSE FOR CELEBRATION

I EXERCISED ✨RESTRAINT✨

“please tell him dont be too hard on yourself, and take care” AWWJRGKHB

poor dude misses cher so much he keeps hallucinating him

at this point the real cher is gonna show up and he’s gonna think its one of his hallucinations for goodness sake

gun, go to therapy

hes so pretty tho

i love him

and you didnt have a chance to say goodbye? because you didnt know it was a goodbye? and you desperately want to see him again but youre also terrified of that ever possibly happening because you know itll mean there’s going to be a goodbye, either that day or just at some point in the future, there will always be a goodbye, and you dont know if its worse to never get a chance to say goodbye or being forced to say goodbye against your own will? and youve had too many goodbyes in your life to know how to deal with it but you keep forgetting to bring this up with your psychologist when you see her once a month?

whaaaat, me? projecting? no wayyyyy

i love porsche

porsche and gun are like lesbians

that makes sense somehow

porschegun are lesbians

i will not elaborate

“you, thyme, and cher. everyone left me. i have no one left.” jEEZ THAT ONE REALLY STABBED ME IN THE HEART SIX TIMES

KILL MEEEEEEEEE

whaaaat i have attachment issues? my psychologist said i have high signs of separation anxiety, like im a dog? noooooo waaaaaayyyyyyyy

bro

DANG IT OF COURSE THAT WAS A DREAM

“hes been drinking his old coffee for five days in a row” HOLY HELL HES NOT OKAY SOMEONE CALL AN AMBULANCE OR SOMETHING

i love him

and his hair

sorry, i know i said i would dial it down but the episode is nearly over and it wouldnt be an abaab commentary post if i didnt mention and screenshot jack’s hair AT LEAST once.

HES JUST SO PRETTY

just. look at his face. appreciate his face. and his hair.

JACK’S SAD LITTLE SMILE AND THEN HE LOOKS AWAY- IM GONNA CRY I LOVE HIM TOO MUCH

CHER!! :DD

and... yacht???? (seriously, IS that his name)

HIS FREAKING BLUE HAIR IS SO PRETTY WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL

second best hair in this show

“without you, my tiny room seems tremendous” FIHREBGKJB

GROUP MOMENT

THREEZOOOOOO

PLS I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

“you’re making us horny” GIUERDBJSGOIRE THIS IS SO FUNNY WHAT THE HELL

HE IS AMAZING

AND ZO’S LITTLE FINGER SHAKE DSFDSGSGD

MY BOI IS GRADUATINGGGGG

MY BOI IS SEEING HIS BOY

JRGFJFNGGFVC

A WONDERFUL END TO THE EPISODE

THAT WAS EXCELLENT

I LOVE THEM

aight time for msp in like. five minutes.

12 notes · View notes

emybain · 4 years

Text

The Blessings of Parenthood

here’s my gift for @ruby-assassin for the renegades exchange (run by @ruby-assassin and @narcissacronin)! im not usually a procrastinator but i procrastinated a lot on this, so i apologize! im also not very good at writing any of my favorite characters as parents:( i hope you enjoy this! it’s a group of snippets of osby as parents that i randomly came up with. the first one is based off of a tiktok that had me dying with laughter, so i had to include it lol.

ao3

Candy. This was because of candy.

Ruby rubbed her temples with one hand as she got a glass from the cupboard and went over to the fridge to fill it up with ice. The usually obnoxious groaning and clattering of the ice machine was almost music to her ears, at least in comparison to the piercing screams not ten feet from her. She only glanced at her four year old daughter, who was a mess on the floor. Her face was red from sobbing and screaming, yet her cheeks were void of tears. Typical. Ruby sighed and popped off the cap to the vodka, pouring the appropriate amount for the occasion.

The crying stopped. “Wha’re you doing?” Charlotte demanded. Ruby cracked open the soda can. “What are you doing?” Her voice became increasingly frustrated when her mother didn’t answer the first time.

“Trying to survive, baby girl.” Ruby swirled her drink and took a sip, turning around to face her daughter.

Lottie’s face scrunched up again, and she scrambled from the floor, stumbling over to Ruby to try and snatch the cup away. “Stooooop!”

As if some supernatural being was truly looking out for her, there was the sound of doors closing and a car locking. They were back from the grocery store. Ruby set her cup down and picked up her dramatic little actress, who pushed away at Ruby.

“Let’s go help Daddy and the boys unload the car, yeah?” she said in an overly cheery voice.

Lottie sniffled, though Ruby couldn’t detect any snot from her nose. Yep. Actress in the making. “Did-did they get candy?”

They did, Ruby knew, as she had shot Oscar a text twenty minutes ago before this whole tantrum erupted. “Well, if you help unload, you’ll see, won’t you, muffin?”

She finally stopped struggling in Ruby’s arms as Ruby opened up the screen door and walked out into the sunshine to greet her boys. Suddenly, Lottie was all too happy to see her father and her brothers. It was as though the past fifteen minutes had never happened. Ruby had to snort.

Children were truly an enigma.

_____

They could’ve been born yesterday, for all Ruby knew.

She vividly remembered the day they came home from the hospital. Oscar had been a mess the entire ride home. Ruby had even offered to drive, seeing as she had been more composed than him. Somehow, they managed to make it back to their apartment at the time. It was a good apartment. Served its purpose and made a good home for a young married couple, but that was also before the triplets came along.

Oscar was terrified that the dogs would be overwhelmed by the three additions to their family, but surprisingly, they took it well. More than well, actually. The labradors were fiercely protective over the babies and loved them more than anything. Even now, as they were surrounded by their family and extended, non-related family, the dogs, now old pups, sat behind the three siblings as everyone sang Happy Birthday. They were getting so big, practically grown ups. Charlotte was a vibrant ray of sunshine, in contrast to her moody toddler years. Andrew was a softie like his mother and an avid reader. Benjamin was like a mini-Oscar, acting just like him all the way down to the massive appetite.

Ruby looked around the crowded patio. From her parents and brothers and their families to Oscar’s mother to all of their friends. So much had changed. Her twin brothers were both married and had kids, though they were younger than her own. Still, the cousins got along fine. Danna and Narcissa were recently married, just returning from their honeymoon in time for the birthday party. Nova and Adrian had been married for a couple years now. Their wedding had been the most down-low thing Ruby had ever seen. A courthouse ceremony followed by a friends and family gathering. They didn’t have kids, and Ruby doubted they would ever have any of their own based on Nova’s aversion to small children and their own personal reasons, but they were fostering an eight year old, Rose, who had been considered part of the family since the day she arrived. She could tell Nova was fond of her, especially since they had a lot in common. It made Ruby think of Nova’s sister, Maggie, who wasn’t with them for the party. Ruby never got to know the girl very well, but she was almost positive the two sisters kept in touch, despite their falling out years ago.

The triplets blew out the candles on their individual small cakes. Everyone clapped. Yes, there was so much that was different now. And her babies, who she could’ve sworn she popped out just the other day, were growing up so fast.

Ten was such a big number, after all.

_____

“Ruby, let the kids win.” Oscar shifted himself inside their fort, pulling Ruby a bit closer to him where she sat between his legs. It was a rainy Saturday morning, and since the triplets couldn’t go outside like they normally would after breakfast, Ruby suggested they build a fort and spend the day in there. A couple hours later, their entire living room was covered in pillows and cushions and blankets and chairs from the dining room to hold everything up. After a quick text to Nova, they even figured out how to bring their TV into the fort without moving it or taping blankets to the wall over it.

“I didn’t race you for years just to be beat by my own children.” Ruby scoffed. “If they want to win, they can learn just as I did.”

The triplets all expressed their agreements, wanting to honestly beat their mother just so they could rub it in her face. Oscar chuckled and pressed a kiss to her temple. Ruby was in first, but just because she could, she let herself slow down a bit. Andy was in second, and shot past her. He stuck his tongue out and blew a raspberry.

“Won’t let them win, huh?” Oscar murmured, running a hand through her hair. Lottie and Benny soon passed her as well. She grinned even though she was facing away from him. Andy ended up winning, with Lottie in second, Benny in third, and Ruby in fourth. They hopped up from their mess of blankets to whoop and holler in success.

“Guess Mom’s not so great anymore, is she?” Andrew did a little dance in front of his parents, even shaking his butt in their face. Ruby snorted and kicked him with her foot lightly enough to push him away.

“She’s gonna have to step up her game,” Lottie joined in, giggling.

“My controller stopped working,” Ruby lied, pretending to be offended by their mocking. “You got lucky.”

Sweet, quiet Benny went against her too. “Maybe she should take lessons from Dad.”

Her mouth dropped open. The triplets laughed in response. “Oh, that’s it.” She pulled them toward her one by one, tickling their stomachs. Oscar joined in. Their fort began to shake a little and fall apart as the fight ensued, limbs being kicked every which way.

“Hey, hey, hey, watch out for the coffee table!” Oscar yanked Lottie toward him, who almost hit her head against the furniture’s leg. His brow furrowed. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

She grinned at him, wriggling out of his hold. “I’m fine, Daddy.”

“This is why we don’t rough house in forts,” Ruby joked. She pushed her hair out of her face. “Look at the mess you made.”

Simultaneously, she heard three stomachs growling as the kids protested, saying she and Oscar were just as guilty. She raised an eyebrow.

“How about you guys fix the fort, and I go make some lunch?”

“And then I can teach you guys all my secrets.” Oscar winked at their kids. “She’ll never admit it, but I used to beat her all of the time when we were younger.”

“Guess someone doesn’t want lunch.” Ruby crawled away from him and toward the entrance, halfway out when she felt his hand on her ankle.

“You’re not going anywhere until you take that back,” he joked, following her out. She turned around and leaned over on her knees. His head was poking out of the little blanket entryway. The look he gave her, pleading yet mischievous, melted her.

She bent down a little more to peck his lips; he reached a hand up and pulled her back by her neck. The two kisses he gave her were slightly deeper and full of smiles.

“When I come back, it’s you against me.” She trailed a finger down his face and lowered her voice. “Winner chooses their prize.”

His eyes flashed. “It’s on.”

#renegades #archenemies #supernova #aged up #oscar silva #ruby tucker #osby #tuckva #adrian everhart #nova artino #nodrian #danna bell #narcissa cronin #danissa #my writing

46 notes · View notes

afishcalledfatin · 5 years

Text

Dr SEO

ALL MY COVERS HAVE THE NAME INSOMNIAC BECAUSE THIS WAS FROM MY OTHER ACCOUNT!!

pairing: doctors! Johnny x female reader

summary: in which Johnny is a medical physician who makes dad jokes and uses vine references and like every typical fanfic, he falls in love with you.

Genre: FLUFF

A/N: Hello everyone! Fafa here, this is my first story and I hope you like it:)

He probably works in the emergency ward as an emergency physician

Now imagine Johnny in a white lab coat and scrubs. Oh, or a shirt and slacks. Oomph.

Everyone has a crush on him and his other doctor friends.

When he’s on break he starts telling dad jokes and puns to lighten the mood.

Now, imagine your schools popular and good looking guy group. It's just that these boys are doctors and aren’t assholes as everyone portrays. They are the sweetest bunch.

WILL WRITE ABOUT THEM TOO DON’T WORRY

He will also listen to your rant while tending to you.

“AND HE HAD THE AUDACITY TO PUSH ME LIKE THAT.” “mhm mhm whatta dick” as he cleans the blood off.

Patients are normally shook after seeing his face and height.

I mean, have you seen him? Hellur sur.

Will drink coffee all the time. No matter where he is, he's either holding a coffee mug or flask

Starts skipping in the ward when he sees Dr Jung with a bag of food that he bought for him.

“You are a blessing.” “Johnny, I have work to do.”

Sometimes uses memes and vine references for anything

*woman is freaking out over her son* “Calm down you don’t want to Panic! at the Disco.”

You can literally hear sighs and facepalms all around the ER.

Has a heavenly voice that can make any baby stop crying.

One of the most chillest doctors in the entire hospital right after Dr Moon.

He is either “sleep is for the weak or sleep for a week.”

Can be a bit worrying sometimes.

Will probably buy you a drink if you did well in a surgery or something. If you’re extra special, you might get a muffin. Only his group of friends have received muffins.

Ships residents, interns and nurses. He discusses it with his friends in the break room. Fan wars will occur.

“I ship [interns name] with [interns name].”

“exCUSE ME, DR LEE TAEYONG? I DISAGREE WHOLE HEARTEDLY.”

And you can suddenly hear a group of grown men arguing about which is the more superior ship.

Besides all the funny stuff, he is super dedicated and hardworking. He doesn’t care if he won’t meet someone, he is focused on working hard.

Scary Johnny is something you NEVER want to witness.

He will keep it all in before he snaps and boy it isn’t pretty. He has made residents and interns cry before but he would cool off and go talk with said person to have a better understanding with the problem. It doesn’t happen often though, so you must’ve really messed up if he yells at you.

Children love him. The hospital he works in is close to a school. So if any emergency happens, the teachers would send the student to that hospital.

Will visit the student if he/she gets admitted.

He would ask the student how they are feeling and would tell them to be more careful. Would get them a balloon or a flower arrangement.

He gets sad when he sees kids leave the hospital. He’s also happy that they are well. It’s a bittersweet feeling.

May seem intimidating but is honestly the biggest fluff.

According to the doctors, he gives the best hugs.

Yo, imagine a hug from Johnny. [ I NEED A FEW MINUTES TO CALM DOWN.]

Okay, I’m cool.

Anyways, how did he meet you?

Well, you transferred to his hospital because the board thinks you are super talented in your job and all that jazz. You were also an emergency physician.

You and Dr Nakamoto were friends in Medical school. When he found out you were gonna work in his hospital, he wanted you to meet all of his friends.

When you met them, you died on the inside. HOW ARE THEY ALL SO GOOD LOOKING?

You had met everyone but Dr Seo. After your meeting, you were given a tour by Yuta.

“Oh, we might meet Dr Seo there.” You were really worried that Yuta’s friends might not like you but he reassured you that they already loved you.

“IS THAT NAKAMOTO YUTA? IN THE EMERGENCY WARD?” You hear someone yell out.

You suddenly see a tall ass boi running towards the both of you.

Yknow how you died on the inside when you saw the doctors? Yeah, you were officially deceased when you saw Dr Seo.

He was wearing his scrubs and his black hair was slightly messy. His smile was adorable and he was exceptionally fit.

When Johnny saw you, his first thought was “oh my god shes so small. must protect.” Then again he was the height of a coconut tree.

You introduced yourself to him and told him you were excited to start working with him.

And low and behold, the Dr Seo was blushing.

“Hyung, are you blushing?” Yuta laughed. Johnny covered his face. “No… the weather has been so hot recently and OH MY GOD LOOK AT THE TIME DR NAKAMOTO YOU SHOULD GET BACK TO WORK.” He ran away.

Dr Nakamoto nudges you “You see? You’ll be fine.” He leaves you there dumbfounded.

You get started on work. You start to get to know Dr Seo and how funny he is.

When you both have nothing to do, you have a dad jokes war.

You’re pretty sure the nurses are tired of hearing them.

One day, a huge accident happened which included several kids. Alot of them lost their lives and you felt most responsible. They had lost too much blood and they arrived at the hospital late.

You sat in that room crying your eyes out. The blood of so many on your scrubs. You scolded yourself on how you could’ve and should’ve done better.

You didn’t even know Johnny was looking for you. Truth to be told, he was starting to have feelings for you. You were dedicated and understanding. You were a complete dork but when you were being professional, he would find that hot.

You heard the door slowly open.

“Y/N?” You heard him say.

He sat in front of you and placed you in his lap. You hugged him tightly and cried in the crook of his neck.

He rubbed soothing circles on your back. His other hand stroking your head softly. He kissed your temple. Telling you everything was going to be okay.

“Hey, shhh. You worked hard and long today. Those kids are in a better place now. They would be telling you that you did well and that they are happier now.” He said softly. This was the first time you broke down in front of him.

You felt better and the both of you started getting closer. He would hug you if he noticed you were feeling down. You would also do the same. The hugs were a source of comfort for both of you. When both of you hugged, everything you worried about was suddenly gone.

You would also notice how he got you muffins after every surgery.

The other doctors also noticed this and would tease you both.

One night, the both of you were allowed to go sleep for a few hours because your shift ended. You slept on the top bunk while he slept on the bottom bunk.

A few hours into your nap, you suddenly heard Johnny scream. You fell off the top bunk and groaned. You sat there for a few seconds before you heard a soft sob.

You looked up at him and you found him crying in his sleep.

You woke him up and he looked at you with red eyes.

“Oh Johnny…” you crawled into bed with him and you let him cry. He hugged you tightly. Softly crying into your chest.

A few hours later, the both of you talked about it.

When he first transfered to the hospital, he was already in the emergency ward. An old friend of his had been hit by a car. He panicked when he saw him and he couldn’t function properly. The friend died and he has dreams of that friend.

“I was new, I couldn’t process that he was lying there unconscious and bloody. I thought everything was a lie and my seniors told me to get a grip. I wasn’t quick enough and he…” he broke down once more.

You automatically held him.

Both of you were there for each other and without realising you’ve fallen for each other.

Mark and Donghyuck would tease the both of you the most.

Johnny would talk about how much he liked you to Jaehyun and Taeyong.

You would tell the same thing to Sicheng.

One night, you overheard Sicheng tell Taeyong that you liked Johnny. You were about to scold Sicheng but you also heard Taeyong tell him that Johnny liked you.

“Johnny really loves her man. He would always tell me stories of her and ask me how he should tell her. This is the first time I’ve seen him like this.”

You texted Johnny. “URGENT! NEED TO TALK TO YOU RN! MY LIFE DEPENDS ON IT! OUR ROOM.”

“GORL CALM DOWN IM ALREADY THERE.”

You let out a shaky breath as you turned the knob.

“Why? What happened?” He asked urgently. You looked at him.

“Seo Youngho.” Johnny’s eyes widen. “Oh my god I swear to god I didn’t do it.” You laugh and ran to him with open arms. Your hug was so strong it pushed both of you onto the sofa.

“Oof, sis I get it I’m nice to hug.” He said underneath you. You giggled as you looked down at him. He pushed a strand of your hand behind your ear.

HERES IT COMES

so, your confident ass kissed Mr Seo.

And he was not expecting it.

“Oh shit, Johnny I’m sorry.” You were about to get off but he pulled you back down and kissed you back, more passionately.

“You have no idea how long I’ve waited for that to happen.” He kissed you again, his soft lips moving against yours.

“Soo, I guess both of you are official now?” Doyoung says as he stood in front of the door.

You jumped off of Johnny.

“BRO?” He says. Doyoung smiles and runs off to tell the rest of the group.

You sat there, slightly blushing. He slings his arm around your shoulder. You lean on his shoulder.

“We should prepare for the teasing.” “Yeah, we could or we could stay here and continue?”

He locks the door and pulls you back into a kiss.

Hello~ I don’t actually know how the medical world works, I only know the basics. I deeply apologize if there are mistakes

Credits to the owner of the photo.

#nct fluff #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nctzen #nct blurbs #nct bulletpoints #johnny fluff #johnny imagines #johnny scenarios #johnny blurbs #johnny bulletpoints

201 notes · View notes

hayffiebird · 4 years

Text

Taste of Strawberries, Chap. 21

Hayffie Post-Mockingjay Multi-chapter, Rated M

I hope you like angst on your fanfic sandwish :) Leave a comment and tell me your thoughts!

Also: (spoiler not a spoiler) I included the Capitol anthem from the new THG book “The ballad of songbirds and snakes” but it doesn’t give away the story so it’s safe to read.

Chapter 21 The betrayal

*ring ring*

… What?

*swallows back a sob* Haymitch? Haymitch, it’s me.

Ah. There she is. Long time no princess. What can you want?

I’m sorry. I know I should have called you a long time ago.

Oh, I remember that voice. Effs Trinket needs a shoulder to cry on, huh? So she goes to good ol’ Haymitch. Course. *takes a mouthful of something* It’s too bad mine’re all the way down here then. Both of ‘em.

I can take the train. If I go now I ought to be…

Here in a day. Yeah. And I’m supposed to just welcome you with open arms?

Haymitch…

That’s my name.

I really must speak to you. It’s im…

What for? I’m a dead-end drunk, remember?

I’ve never called…

No, that’s right. Your words were much fancier.

I know you’re angry. This is not easy for me either but…

I’m fine, sweetheart. Just fine. Can’t ruin a life that’s already ruined, right? I s’pose you want all your crap back? Yeah, the kids have it. They think you’re gonna come back, you know. “When hell freezes over”, am I right? But you know Peeta. I’ll just tell ‘em to send it over straight away so you never have to set your foot here ever again. Great, huh?

You left me, Haymitch! I didn’t want you to go! I didn’t want it to end!

Could’ve fooled me. *twists the top of another bottle* And don’t you worry your pretty head, sweetheart. You’ll get over it. Trust me. Soon you’re gonna find some nice, wholesome guy who does exactly what he’s told. It’ll be all: “Yes, Euphemia. No, Euphemia. Whatever you say, Eu…”

Don’t call me that! Haymitch, please! Mrs. Q, she… she tried to… I need you! If you care about me at all…

Oh, I cared about you. A lot. More than a lot. Should’ve fucking known better. So why don’t you call Plutarch or Octavia or any other of your friends and just leave me alone. Cause I owe you nothing. Nothing at all.

*sobs* I’m so stupid.

Have a wonderful life, Eff. I’m sure you’re gonna be deliriously happy.

*toot toot*

xXx

There was still some broth left. Katniss slipped her flask into a jacket pocket and poured a second mug.

The storm had finally blown itself out, for now anyway, but one look through the window quelled all hope for a hunting day. No point roaming the woods for sustenance when the snow lay waist-deep.

She fed Buttercup her last piece of bacon and carried the mug into the living room.

“I’m going to the bakery.”

Nightmares had made Haymitch kick all the cushions off the couch again. He lay on his side with the knife cradled against his chest like some scary version of a teddy bear.

“There’re scrambled eggs if you want it,” Katniss said. “And some bacon. I left it on the stove.”

She couldn’t set the mug down. Wasn’t enough space on the coffee table and Haymitch grunted at the sound of glass against glass when she tossed the empties in the container by the door.

He muttered something she couldn’t make sense of and pulled his arm up over his eyes to ward off the light from the one lamp. “Drink the broth at least.” She placed the cup at arm’s reach and was gone.

It was almost a month now since Haymitch set up camp on their couch. One day mid-dinner he just staggered into their living room and he hadn’t left since.

He was decent enough to not completely trash the place but still, you didn’t want Haymitch Abernathy for a roommate. He was hard enough to deal with nextdoor.

Katniss couldn’t stand it being at home these days. Haymitch woke both her and Peeta almost every night with the agonized sounds he made in his sleep and daytime was no better.

Their mentor, hollow-eyed and shrunken on the couch – it all reminded her too much of her mother and Katniss fled when she couldn’t help. She kept to the woods as much as possible and if not the woods the bakery or the Hob or Hazelle’s.

Anywhere but home.

When they finally asked him if it wasn’t time he moved back to his own house, they cleaned it for him, Haymitch only shot them a long look, like a dog they had just mistreated and rolled over so he faced the couch.

“She’s there,” that’s all he muttered.

And what could they do? Not tie him up and dump him somewhere. He was their mentor and they already owed him more than they could ever repay.

They had known something was off the moment they got home, the day before Christmas Eve.

They walked up the old pathway, loaded with bags and the first thing they saw when they passed Haymitch’s house was the Christmas tree lying in the snow, still green and frosty and covered with ornaments. Like someone had just thrown it out the door.

And it wasn’t the only thing.

In the ever-growing light they saw the ground littered with items. Towels and bed sheets and bath robes lay in bundles, all frozen stiff. Soggy, old newspapers and magazines too, blown apart by the frisk wind.

Her clothes were everywhere, along with an endless number of bottles and jars and other beauty products half-buried in the snow. They found napkins and slippers, perfume bottles and pillows. Hairbrushes, tea cups, blankets, curtains, shower curtains, even anagrammed towel hangers attached to chunks of the bathroom wall.

The state of his house was even worse, like a twister had gone through it. They asked him about it but Haymitch was a closed book.

Then, of course they found Effie’s note on their kitchen table and it wasn’t hard to piece together what had happened in their short absence.

They wanted to help. Of course they did. Only, how? Wasn’t like they could change what had already happened or say anything to make it better.

Not that Peeta didn’t try to talk to him. Talk at him. Finally Katniss stepped up and said, not unkindly,

“Just leave him be.”

Haymitch had said next to nothing the whole time but when Katniss and Peeta turned to leave he stopped them in their tracks.

“Just so we’re clear,” he said and looked Peeta straight in the eye; a feat considering how intoxicated he was. “You don’t get any ideas ‘bout calling the Capitol, alright. I mean it, boy. This is my wreckage.”

Sun set early this time of year. For the remaining hours, Katniss and Peeta dug for treasures in Haymitch’s garden, until they had to squint in order to see. And even then some of Effie’s belongings would probably not be found until Spring.

They brought it all back to their house. Silently, Peeta filled the sink with hot water and suds and washed the plates and glasses and tea cups while Katniss stood at the ready with a towel, both of them deep in thought.

Back in District 4, when Peeta gathered her in bed, he had teased her about their cosy, up-coming Christmas. Painted her pictures of Effie plaguing both her and Haymitch with her bright holiday spirit and bringing them gifts – wrapped in regular wrappings so she didn’t technically break Haymitch’s rule of “no Christmas presents.”

Dinner at the Hob would follow where Effie would spend about two thirds of it clucking over Haymitch’s table manners and Haymitch stating he should just hire her voice to cut his turkey for him and “we’re not doing this again, that’s for sure”, all the while not quite able to keep his hands to himself.

“And then they’ll top the evening with a see-through excuse like ‘I’m gonna go get a bottle’ or ‘I am simply exhausted. Do you mind if we call it a night?’,” Peeta finished and grinned at Katniss who squirmed like a worm in hot ashes.

It just felt good to make fun of their mentor being happy for once. Happy with Effie.

Now, everything was in ruins and tomorrow would be just like any other day, with Haymitch drunk and getting drunker.

Not that Christmas had ever been a busy affair in the Victor’s Village. They had dinner and that was pretty much it. A slightly fancier one, perhaps, with about a 50% chance of Haymitch joining. He only ever showed up last New Year’s because of Effie.

Because of Effie. That phrase applied for many aspects of Haymitch’s life, didn’t it? He’d deny it but just the fact she got him to even consider drying out pretty much said everything.

“Maybe we should call her,” Peeta wondered, not sure himself.

“But you heard him,” Katniss said. “This is none of our business. And they’ll come around, eventually.”

They were both so used to their mentor and escort’s antics. Those stubborn, old fools were always at each other’s throat and through and through they found a way back to one other. Back at each other’s side.

This too would pass, surely? Sooner or later, one of them would swallow their pride and pick up the phone.

And while Katniss and Peeta waited for that call they stored Effie’s things for safe-keeping, well out of Haymitch’s sight and stopped asking questions.

But February rolled to a close with dark days and even darker nights. Life in Twelve was just one storm after another and people were forced to seek shelter at the Hob so as not to get lost in them. The vixen’s cry echoed in the night and Katniss and Peeta stored up on candle sticks for the blackouts.

March came with the deceiving breath of spring only to bury the district in a second winter. Hazelle’s kids put her on bed rest after a sprained ankle. Brooks gushed in plentiful streams under the ice and an apple-cheeked Katniss returned from the woods, game bag loaded with wild turkey.

April arrived with warmer weather. Tiny greens peeked in people’s gardens and the patches of last year’s grass grew bigger for each day. Water dropped down every icicle and town’s kids and Seam kids alike melted snow in water barrels to make the spring come faster.

Everyone kept busy. It was a time of change, of rebirth. Winter was finally over and it had a rejuvenating effect on everyone.

Well, almost everyone.

Effie’s name was never mentioned and yet she was ever present. If an outsider walked past and saw Haymitch on the couch he might think “same old, same old”. But Katniss and Peeta were family and they knew him better than that.

Haymitch had never been an easy person to deal with and definitely not a happy-go-lucky one. But every once in a while, if he had a couple hours of dreamless sleep it was like he got an energy boost.

That’s when he got up, checked on the geese, helped Peeta in the bakery, maybe just had a hot meal down at the Hob before he returned to his bottles.

Now, it was like he didn’t care about anything anymore. He just lay on the couch, drinking and God help the one who bothered him. He only ever left for the bathroom breaks or when his liquor ran out.

But even that came to an end.

It happened when Haymitch staggered into the Hob on a Sunday morning.

“Usual,” he slurred and tossed handfuls of money on Ripper’s bar counter.

“Sorry, Haymitch. You’re too early,” she said. “The train doesn’t arrive until Monday. We’re all out now.”

“Usual!” Haymitch repeated, louder this time like she was slow. Sighs rose from around the tables.

“It’s Sunday,” Ripper told him patiently. “Come back tomorrow and I’ll get your bottles. I can’t sell it to you now because we’re out.”

She couldn’t make him understand. Each time she tried Haymitch only got surlier. “Wha’s the problem?” he whined. “I have money. Wha’s the problem?”

He scared some of the little kids eating breakfast with their parents. The temperature in the diner seemed to have dropped twenty degrees and finally a gray-haired old man muttered, loud enough for Haymitch to hear it,

“Who’d have thought we’d ever wish for that fancy sow to come back?”

That’s when Haymitch wielded his knife. He was so drunk it was pathetic but for Ripper that was it! She kicked him out and told him either he left his knife at home or he would have to get someone else to buy him his liquor.

From then on, Katniss and Peeta stocked up his supplies and Haymitch found even fewer reasons to get up.

What for?

Maybe it would have been better, Katniss thought. Less cruel, if he never got those precious few months with Effie. Because losing her, losing her altogether and not just as a lover, seemed to have opened a crack in his rock bottom and pushed him down that hole as well.

And Effie, how was she doing?

xXx

May. God, he hated May. Ever since he turned twelve, the month right before the Hunger Games was nothing but a ticking clock. Even now, years after the war had ended, there were still times when he started awake, thinking,

Reaping day’s almost here!

He couldn’t sleep. While he marinated his liver a bug had detoured in to the house and was now buzzing about in the window.

The sound unnerved him because the bloody thing just wouldn’t give up! It bumped and thumped against the glass over and over again, yearning for freedom.

It was Peeta’s damn fault. He always opened a window when it rained.

Finally he couldn’t take it anymore.

“Alright, alright,” Haymitch growled and swung his legs off of the couch.

It was a wasp. Not the tracker jacker kind, just a regular one. It crawled along the window sill, flew into the glass once more and wiggled it’s antennae in irritation.

“Out with you now,” Haymitch muttered as he struggled with the window hooks. “Be free.” And watched the bug disappear.

The night air felt balmy against his skin. He took his time unscrewing the lid on the silver hip flask. The geese were quiet for a change but the mockingjays were still up, frisky and begging for company. He ran his hand through his wild beard and drank the flask dry. It didn’t take long.

He was just looking for something to fill it up with when he heard the sound. One even his soaked brain could place.

A phone. Ringing.

His mind jumped to Effie and he could’ve kicked himself for it. He resisted the desire to slam the window shut and closed it before he returned to the couch. The coffee table held nothing but empties. They clinked under his fingertips until he found one with some in it. He lifted it to his lips and greeted the burn with a sigh of relief.

Outside, the ringing continued. Even with the window closed, there was no escaping it.

It’s not her. Why’d she call now? No reason for her to call now.

After what felt like 10 years, the phone silenced. The knot in his stomach eased somewhat and after he promised himself to tear the phone out the wall as soon as the sun rose he walked over to the cabinet and peeked inside.

“Thank you, kids,” he mumbled at the welcomed sight. He grabbed same bottles at random and brought them back to the couch. But before he got the chance to flop down on his ass-print the phone went off again.

“Oh, fuck me,” he wheezed.

Who called him at three in the morning? No, strike that. Who called him, period?

Sweat trickled down his sides in never-ending streams. The sound played on his nerve strings like a violin. It was the wasp all over again because the caller, whoever it was, didn’t give up. Refused to stop until he did something about it.

A hundred whispered insults spilled over Haymitch’s lips as he pulled on his shoes.

He hadn’t seen the inside of his house in months. The last time he was here had been a fucking nightmare. Broken furniture, broken everything.

The long, hard signals cut through the stillness like a knife.

It’s not her.

He picked up the phone and the blare of music nearly ripped her ear drum. He held the thing a meter away.

“Hello?” someone called. “Helloo?”

He brought the phone closer.

“Who is this?”

“Well, hi to you too!” the person laughed. It was a woman’s voice. One he recognized, only he couldn’t quite place it. From the Capitol at least. “How’s the bachelor’s life treating you, Haycock?” the stranger woman asked. When he didn’t answer she went on, “It’s me, Gloria! Gloria Highgrass. We met at Octavia’s birthday party, remember? Yellow dress. Good-for-nothing cousin by my side.”

Haymitch drew a silent sigh. Of course.

“Where you’ve been hiding, hm?” she asked. ”Haven’t seen you in a while. Finally tired of your afternoon delight?”

“Why don’t you go fuck yourself.”

“Oh,” Gloria chuckled. “You kiss your bottle with that mouth? What would Effie said?”

Her words drew giggles. Clearly, they had an audience and he was just about to slam the phone down when she said,

“I just saw her, that little cock-warmer of yours. And between you and me: I don’t blame you for leaving. What a mess, haha! You screwed her up good, Haycock! She’s so unfuckable now! Well done, sir. Well done.”

And her brilliant laughter hammered his head.

“Do you know we all placed bets on how long the two of you would last? It’s true! You cost me a fortune, Haycock! You guys stuck it out way longer than I thought. And then my useless cousin told me about your little scene at the train station. ‘Get your shit together’ and all that. God, I wish I was there!”

She had a sip of something and then rallied on,

”You wanna know what I think? I think she planned the whole thing. So you’d never leave her. Too bad she forgot that district scum scurry off like cockroaches once the light’s on. Well, she’s paying for it now, isn’t she? How’d she tell you? Before or after you cleared out?”

It was a wonder the phone didn’t break in Haymitch’s fist. He could hardly breathe, that’s how furious he was. But he refused to give this woman the satisfaction of him losing his temper.

“Hey, lady,” he said, in a very measured voice. “If you know something about Effie, spit it out. Or else you can just stop wasting my time and go back to your pathetic little life.”

That finally silenced her. For about three seconds.

”You don’t know?” she said. “You kidding me? He doesn’t know!”

And everyone on the other end broke down in hysterical laughter. Gloria contained hers just long enough to say,

”Come back to the Capitol, Haycock! See for yourself!”

And she slammed the phone in his ear.

He couldn’t stand another second in this place. Her things may be gone but he still felt Effie’s presence in every corner of the house. Like fumes slowly killing you.

He didn’t realize how much his hands trembled until he was back on the couch. He balled them into fists.

The nerve of that woman! “Come see for yourself.” The hell’s that supposed to mean?

He needed a drink. He wiped his sweaty palms on his pants and tipped the first bottle he found in to his mouth, again and again until he came up choking.

The liquor numbed his worries like they numbed everything else.

“You screwed her up good.” Yeah, that’s likely. He didn’t fancy himself being important enough to lose even a minute’s sleep over.

Maybe so. But you’re not the only bad thing that’s happened to her. Remember?

“She’s fine,” he told the empty room. “Just fine.” Probably thrived now that she didn’t have to deal with him anymore. That low-life Gloria Highgrass was just fucking with his head. She wanted to cause a spectacle, get some gossip material, that’s all.

If Effie was in any kind of need all she had to do was pick up the phone and call him.

Besides, wasn’t like she kept in touch to see how he was fairing. It was damn clear she didn’t want anything to do with him anymore. And if she didn’t care, why should he?

Yeah, he thought and reached for the next bottle. Let her deal with her own demons.

xXx

If Haymitch thought he was the only one up he was wrong. Katniss slept a deep slumber for once but all the creaks and groans coming from the floorboards downstairs finally wormed their way into Peeta’s dreams until he flinched awake.

The room burned with morning light. Peeta’s heart pounded in his chest but he remained still so as not to disturb Katniss while he listened to the sounds below.

It wasn’t the first time Haymitch “ghosted the halls”. Peeta remembered it especially well from their train rides together and back at the penthouse during the Games.

Sometimes it seemed like Haymitch just couldn’t stand to remain in the same place, locked inside his own head. And that’s when he stalked from room to room, aimlessly. Like a bear in a cage. Well, a bear with a bottle in its paw.

No, it wasn’t the first time but it was the first time in a while. And he used to go to bed with the sun so what was he still doing up?

At least with Haymitch on the couch, you knew where you had him. Finally Peeta carefully extracted himself from Katniss and slipped out of bed, just to check on him. That wouldn’t be a first either.

He reached the foot of the stairs just as Haymitch returned in to the living room, surprisingly sober. Sobered up. He sunk down on the couch, elbows on his knees. He never noticed Peeta. His eyes were squarely focused on something in his hands.

Peeta couldn’t tell what it was at first but then Haymitch shifted it over and the penny suddenly dropped.

It was a paper goose. The paper goose. He knew it well because it used to sit on the window sill back in his studio. Haymitch must have ventured inside and stumbled upon it by co-incidence.

Effie’s paper goose. Well, Haymitch’s really since she gave it to him.

Peeta remembered the day she made it. It was the summer Haymitch had brought her here after the over-dose.

She had one of her good days and joined them for breakfast in the studio. He painted, Katniss ate cheese buns, Haymitch doodled a horrible caricature of Effie and in exchange she made him this little origami creature.

A good day in an ocean of bad ones.

Shortly after, the night terrors sent her in a down-ward spiral again and just to keep her from clocking out Haymitch said he thought about getting some geese. What’d she think?

The idea probably originated from Chaff. Eleven’s victor loved everything made from the bird. Roast goose and buttered potatoes, corned goose hash, fried eggs with mushrooms.

Those were the dishes he ordered at the training centre before the third Quarter Quell and if memory didn’t deceive Peeta he even told Caesar Flickerman after he was crowned victor, that he liked to raise geese once he returned to District Eleven.

Now he never really got that idea off the table. Instead, Haymitch did. Well, sort of. None of his birds had ever wound up on a plate.

In any case, Peeta bet the whole ”let’s go to Eleven” adventure wasn’t motivated by some great desire to buy geese. That’s just what Haymitch had her believe. Because for whatever reason Effie lived up a little whenever she got to plan things. It gave her a sense of control.

It was slick how he played it. Made her think “This will be good for Haymitch” when really it was “good for Effie”. Something to keep her mind occupied. His own way to try and coax her out of her depression.

A hundred memories drenched up by one paper bird. That’s what Peeta witnessed this very moment. Haymitch could have crushed it easily. Just made a fist and tossed it on the fire. He tossed everything else that even vaguely reminded him of her.

He didn’t. The way he held it, you’d think it was one of his goslings and he had a look on his face that would not have been there, had he known someone was watching.

“Morning,” Katniss yawned as she walked in to the kitchen, hours later. Peeta stood by the stove, quietly pouring hot water through the tea leaves. She reached for the jug of orange juice to set it on the table. “Where’s Haymitch at? I didn’t see him.”

“On the train.”

Katniss stopped, eyebrows lifted.

“You sure?”

In answer, he pointed at the table and she discovered the note, jotted down on a scrap of paper.

I’m gonna go see Effie. Call her and tell her I’m coming, OK? Thanks.

“You talked to her? What’d she say? What?” she asked at the look on Peeta’s face.

“I tried, for about an hour,” he said. “I can’t get through. The phone’s disconnected.”

xXx

Gem of Panem Mighty city Through the ages, you shine anew

Intertwined with their laughter, the Capitol anthem echoed around the deserted city. Morning light stretched their shadows into four giants as they walked down the street, arm-in-arm. Their makeup was smeared, the flowers in their outfits drooping. All evidence of what a smash hit the night had been!

We humbly kneel To your ideal And pledge our love to you!

Coriana’s voice rose highest of them all, the only member in their quartet who could hit all the high notes, drunk or sober, but they all joined in just as merrily with the voice they had.

Gem of Panem Heart of justice Wisdom crowns your marble brow

It felt good, comforting, to chant the age old verses of their childhood. The real anthem of Panem. The politically correct atrocity Paylor whipped together didn’t hold a candle to it!

You give us light You reunite To you we make our vow

Tipsy to say the least, Priscilla wobbled dangerously in her sky-high heels but each time she careened to far to the left, they steered her right again with many giggles and “Oopsy-daisy!”

Gem of Panem Seat of power Strength in peacetime, shield in strife

“Oh, this is my favorite part!” warbled Imogen who couldn’t carry a tune with a gun to her head.

Protect our land With armored hand Our Capitol, our…

Lancer gasped, mid-through the final crescendo. Linked with the others he almost toppled them over at sudden halt.

“My gracious!” he said. “It’s Haymitch Abernathy!”

Up ahead, a man had just appeared round a corner. Ruffled clothes, hair hanging forward, everything about him completely out of place here. He paid them no attention but it was him, without a doubt. The drunken traitor of District 12.

“You heard about him and Effie Trinket, right?” Imogen asked in a loud whisper.

“Of course we heard,” said Coriana. “The whole town knows.”

“Ugh. Just look at him.” Priscilla wrinkled her nose. “At least on television he dressed decently. Disgusting!”

“She’s the one who’s disgusting,” Lancer said and pursed his lips. “He’s district. What did you expect? But a Capitolian really should know better.”

“I would jump off a cliff if it was me!”

“It could never be you, Imogen, the very thought!” said Coriana. “What’s he doing here again? Flaunting himself on our streets after what he did. What they did!”

If Haymitch heard them he didn’t show it and he didn’t change his course. When they remained shoulder to shoulder, gawking at him he sawed right through them like they were a flock of pigeons and they jumped apart with furious cries.

“You should be ashamed of yourself!” Priscilla shouted to his back. “I really think you should!”

Those four weren’t the only ones who questioned what Haymitch was doing in the Capitol. Had there been one positive consequence of him and Effie breaking up it was that he would never have to see this place again.

Well, the joke’s on him.

She’s not back on pills, he told himself as he kicked a squashed ice cream cup far up the street. She promised she wouldn’t go down that road again.

The train ride was hell on earth. Throughout the long hours he failed to quiet his mind, to shake off his worries over Glorias’s words and why he couldn’t get a call through to Effie. Just thinking about their impending reunion made him sick, until he finally caved in to the bottles in his duffel.

Ironically, the one thing that stopped him from drinking himself completely senseless was the paper goose, now hitching a ride in his pocket. It helped him focus.

Walking the deserted avenues, through glitter and serpentines left from some party only reminded him of the first time he came here unannounced.

Little Ms. Hypocrite. She was one to talk about having someone almost die in your arms.

But she’s not back on pills.

The brightness of the sun reflected in the candy buildings, the lush public gardens alive with bird song, the bounty flowerbeds, the gushing fountains. It was like the Capitol mocked him with its splendor. Days like this were Effie’s favourites.

And there her building was. He saw it over the roof tops, windows reflecting bits of the blue sky. With a grimace, Haymitch slowed his steps like he’d run out of gas. Fuck it. He needed a drink. One more or less, what did it matter? He wasn’t going to stay here long anyway.

He was still struggling to close the zipper as he entered her street, her curb. He pulled the straps over his shoulder, about to give the door a knock.

And he just stared. Dumb-founded, for half a minute or more. Gaped at her front door, like the gaggle of fools he passed earlier.

No, no this can’t be right, he thought, unable to take in what his eyes were telling him. It’s gotta be a mistake.

The name plate on Effie’s door was gone. The window shutters were all closed. He turned the handle. It wouldn’t budge. He rang the bell. He knocked, pounded rather. No one opened. The place was completely dead.

But it made no sense! Effie had lived in this apartment almost all her life!

He walked over to the windows, shielded his eyes from the sunlight as he tried to peer through the shutters for any movements inside.

“Eff?”

He returned to the door, raised his hand for another knock.

“She’s not here,” a voice rung out.

He turned at the sound. On the other side of the road, just across from him, stood an old lady. The same dry twig of a woman he’d seen twice before. At least twice.

“Mr. Abernathy,” she said. The sun glinted off the gem stones in her wrinkled cheeks. Her mouth was pressed into a thin line. “Didn’t think I would ever see you here again.”

He crossed the road.

“The hell’s going on here? Where’s Effie?”

The woman’s pale green eyes pierced his. She had to lift her chin to do it. Just like Sae she barely cleared his shoulders but that’s where the similarities ended. Because this woman’s eyes held none of her warmth or gaiety.

And yet, behind the frost he noticed that same sadness he’d seen there before. Only not for him.

“I warned her”, she said. “I told her from the very beginning not to get involved with someone like you. A man who would give her nothing but heartache. But she never heeded my advice. She didn’t want to listen.”

“Here’s an idea,” Haymitch cut her off. “How ‘bout you quit playing games with me and tell me what you know.”

“I blame myself,” the woman continued, unfazed by the interruption. “I insisted she applied for an escortship. If she became an architect like she first wanted, she wouldn’t be where she is now. Maybe none of us would.”

“Who are you?” Haymitch demanded. “What’s your name?”

“Mrs. Quinlan.”

Quinlan? He had definitely heard that name before. Nothing Games related, at least he didn’t think so. No, Effie had mentioned her at some point. Yeah, at the hospital, after her rescue. She asked if she was still alive. If she was safe.

Mrs. Q.

“You’re Eff’s landlady.”

The woman shook her head.

“Not anymore.”

“Because you kicked her out.”

“She’s beyond my help,” Mrs. Quinlan said. “Euphemia was a good girl, Mr. Abernathy. A good daughter. I have wept blood for her sake but I never gave up on her. Even after the war. She got one last chance to make amends. To build up a life for herself that she could be proud of. And she went and threw it all away the moment she decided to keep your young.”

Haymitch heard the words, loud and clear, but it was like he couldn’t absorb them. Make sense of what she just said.

It was like when he was little and broke his arm, falling down a tree. They all saw it was broken but it didn’t hurt. Not straight away. Like the shock was so great nothing registered.

“’Keep my young?’ he rasped. Heat rose up his throat and face until it burned. “What do you mean ‘keep my young’?”

For the first time, a flicker of surprise registered on Mrs. Quinlan’s face.

“Where is she?” He didn’t think his voice would carry at all. Instead it echoed around the buildings. “If not here, where’s she staying?”

“Go home, Mr Abernathy,” she said. “You have done enough damage as it is.”

“If you don’t want me to wake the entire neighborhood, you tell me where she is!”

Sleepy heads already poked out windows at the commotion. There were murmurs, curious looks thrown their way. Mrs. Quinlan’s lips pressed into the same tight line.

“She moved in with Caesar Flickerman’s daughter. I assume I don’t have to tell you which one.”

xXx

The bearded dragon slumped on her favorite spot in the vivarium - a gnarled old tree root and basked in the warm rays slanting through the windows.

When they first got her she fitted in your pocket. Now they had to use both hands to carry her properly. Sandy yellow and with a look on her face like “you’re all beneath me” you’d think she was the distant cousin of a certain District 12 cat but it was only an illusion.

“Hey, you,” June said and slipped a hand inside the enclosure, knuckles down, fingers outstretched in an inviting gesture. The reptile crawled down the root and over to her. June gave her a soft scratch under the spiky chin and the animal climbed up her palm.

Annabel sat by the secretary desk, her tea long cold and forgotten, but when June passed, she took the time petting their dragon before she returned to her letter. She eyed what she’d just written, critically and gave a deep sigh.

“They won’t even…”

“They will,” said June. She had settled on the couch with the dragon on her lap. The animal closed her eyes under the soft strokes.

It had been a quiet, docile morning with just the occasional car passing by and the gentle scratch of pen against paper.

“The crates should arrive today,” said June and reached for her own cup of tea.

Right on cue the bell rang.

“Speaking of the devil,” said Annabel. She set the pen down and slowly and painfully flexed her fingers.

It rang again, on her way through the hallway.

“Coming!” She pulled her hair back in a hasty pony tail. A shadow moved behind the frosted glass. She took the chain off the door.

And came face to face with the victor of District 12.

”Mr. Abernathy,” she said, eyebrows lifted. “I…”

He didn’t let her finish.

”Effie,” he said. His face was a deep red. “She here?”

“Bel?” June’s voice fluttered in from the living room.

“Is she here?” Haymitch repeated, the fury behind the words only barely contained. “Never mind that. I know she is.”

“She’s here, Mr. Abernathy,” said Annabel.

That’s all he needed. He pushed past her.

“Eff?” he called as he stalked into the living room. June had risen, face white as paper. The dragon’s tail flailed between her cupped hands at the sudden alarm.

Annabel had followed inside and he turned on her again.

“I know all about it,” he spat. She could smell the hard liquor fumes on him. June quickly set the reptile back in the safety of the vivarium. “I know she’s pregnant so don’t try and lie to me!”

“I’m not lying to you.”

“Where is she?”

“She’s resting.”

“Well, go and wake her up!”

“Mr. Abernathy,” she said, voice suddenly firm. “You will not shout in my house.”

“I don’t care! She thought she can just have my kid and never tell me? Who the hell does she think she is!? I wanna talk to her. Give her a piece of my mind!”

“Not until you’ve calmed down!”

“The hell with you! I’ll go find her myself.”

He turned for the door but she was right at his heel.

“Stop it!” June cried when Haymitch shoved Annabel’s hand off of him. The tea cup knocked over and crashed against the floor. The dragon ran frantically around in its cage. “Stop!”

“Get your fucking hands off me!”

“Haymitch, what are you doing!?”

Her cry made them all turn. Flushed and out of breath from the rush and alarm Effie stood in the doorway, a robe carelessly thrown over her nightdress. Her eyes locked on his, for the first time in months and the words choked in his throat. It was like the rest of the room and everyone in it just disappeared. Everyone but Effie.

And through the blood pounding in his head he could make only one coherent thought.

What have I done to her?

xXx

“I’ll be in the back if you need anything,” Annabel said as she swept up the last of the broken cup. A spitting mad June had already retreated to their bedroom, carrying the dragon with her and now Annabel went as well, leaving Haymitch and Effie to talk in private.

Not that Haymitch looked like he’d ever speak again. He hunkered in the armchair with his arms crossed over his chest. Effie sat on the couch but they could just as well be light years apart.

“Who told you?” she asked in a hushed voice.

”Does it matter?” He wasn’t yelling now. Wouldn’t even look at her. He seemed to have aged ten years in the past half hour.

“No,” said Effie. “No, I suppose not.”

She had a blanket draped over herself. Like that was going to hide anything.

“I thought you were on the pill?”

“I was.”

“Time and money you could’ve saved, clearly,” he said through gritted teeth. “And the whole Capitol knows I’m the father?”

“Yes,” she said quietly. “I wanted to tell you.”

“So why didn’t you? If you have my kid rolling around in your tummy I deserve to know about it, don’t you think?”

When she didn’t answer straight away his eyes darted to her face. And his insides contracted all over again as cold panic flooded his limbs.

“What, Eff?”

”It’s...” Her voice faltered. “We’re not...”

“We’re what?”

He saw his own anxiety mirrored in her eyes. She placed her hand against her stomach and his throat closed up. Because he knew the truth before she said it.

No! No, I don’t wanna hear it!

”It’s two,” she said. “Haymitch, I’m so sorry you had to find out this way. I didn’t…”

But Haymitch had already heaved himself to his feet. He wanted to throw up. He would throw up.

“I can’t do this.”

”Wait,” she said but he didn’t look at her. Couldn’t look at her and her big stomach.

”I need some air.”

xXx

“Good afternoon, Mathilda,” Mr. Bumble smiled when he crossed her door. His elegant, twirled up mustache was dyed a dusk pink today, the same color as the lap dog, freezing at his feet.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Bumble,” Mrs. Quinlan said, hoping he would pick up on the very inappropriate use of her first name.

He didn’t.

“I’d stay and chat,” he said, “but Helga is waiting for us.” And he gave his bouquet of blue roses a little wave. “It’s our anniversary, you know! 25 years!”

“How wonderful. Give her my best,” Mrs. Quinlan said mechanically as he trotted off down the street. If Helga was home or even remembered what day it was, she would eat up her hat.

She dropped the key in to her handbag and crossed the road, mindful of any ice patches hidden under the fresh snow.

The door was locked but that she only expected. So she slipped her hand into her handbag and got out different set of keys. Normally she took pride in not using them but the girl had sounded very off on the phone. Sad.

“Euphemia?” she said as she stepped inside. The flat was dark but she turned the lights on as she went. She knew her way around this apartment, almost as well as her own. “Euphemia, where are you?”

She heard noises from the master bedroom. Retches that led her straight for the adjoined bathroom.

Effie’s nightgown clung to her with sweat. Slumped down on her knees, she clutched the toilet seat as she threw up. Tears and perspiration rolled down her face from the ordeal.

She didn’t hear anyone come in. That way she never saw the complete and utter shock on Mrs. Quinlan’s face. But she quickly composed herself again.

“Euphemia.”

Effie looked up, startled.

“Oh”, she groaned. She was pale as a sheet, her eyes wet and red. “Mrs. Q, now’s… not a good time.”

And she disappeared inside the bowl again as the next wave rolled in.

Mrs. Quinlan didn’t say anything. She just pulled up a stool and seated herself. She gathered Effie’s hair with one hand and held it back from her face until the worst was over.

When Effie grew still, head heavy against her arms, just heaving breaths of both exhaustion and relief Mrs. Quinlan reached for a towel.

“Here,” she said and soaked it under the faucet. “Clean yourself.”

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Q,” Effie mumbled and dabbed her mouth with it. She felt Mrs. Quinlan’s eyes on her and tried to elude them by wiping the tears off her cheeks. “I am not quite myself today.”

“Euphemia.”

“Must be something I ate.”

“Euphemia, look at me, please.”

With an enormous effort, Effie lifted her head. She swallowed and swallowed. The color of her face had returned, from barely holding it together.

“Are you with child?”

Those words did it. It was like a dam broke. Effie buried her face against her babysitter’s lap and now they came. All those pent-up tears she hadn’t been able to shed since that awful day with Haymitch on the train station.

Mrs. Quinlan’s face was taut as a string.

”There now,” she murmured and stroked Effie’s hair. ”You will be alright. It’s going to be just fine.”

Effie soaked Mrs. Quinlan’s skirt with her sobs and it was like she was little again.

She’d been four or five and accidentally knocked over a vase. Everything in Mrs. Quinlan’s apartment was either ancient or valuable or both and little Effie stared in horror at the broken pierces. Finally she ran off and hid.

For the next half-hour Mrs. Quinlan had to go from room to room and from closet to closet, peer inside the cupboards and behind every thick curtain, calling her name. When she finally found her in the laundry basket Effie was so terror-struck she burst in to a wail of tears.

But Mrs. Q just scoped her up, pulled a dirty child sock off the side of her dress and carried her into the living room. With her skinny arms linked around Mrs. Q’s neck Effie sniveled and whimpered the entire time, her little body racked with sobs.

Mrs. Q. wrapped her in one of her own shawls that smelled of perfume and to the rhythm of the creaky old rocking chair, she hummed her to sleep with a Capitol lullaby.

She had never felt so safe.

“Why don’t you take a shower, Euphemia,” Mrs. Quinlan said once Effie’s sobs had subsided a little. She patted her hand between her own icy ones. “And then you and I will have a cup of nice, hot tea.”

“Oh, that is awfully sweet, mrs. Q, but I think I rather,” she started to object but Mrs. Quinlan only waved a finger in the air.

“It will do you some good,” she said. “Tea at my place, four o’clock.”

Effie had avoided Mrs. Quinlan’s flat for the past almost two years. She had spent a great deal of her childhood in the company of her landlady when mother and father couldn’t or wouldn’t take their daughter with them to one of their events.

But these days there was only one subject Mrs. Q wanted to discuss when they met and Effie found herself coming up with excuses. Because it didn’t matter how many times she tried to change the subject, Mrs. Q always steered the conversation back on the same sole topic.

Haymitch Abernathy.

Effie never talked about her and Haymitch’s relationship. Not with Mrs. Q or anyone else. But living just across the road, Mrs. Quinlan seemed to know everything anyway.

She didn’t approve. She never liked the gruff and unrefined victor of District 12 and nothing could change her mind.

She just didn’t understand. How could she? No one in the Capitol did.

“How far along are you?” she asked and poured them tea from the plump china pot. Effie tried to breathe through her nose. Just thinking about ingesting something made her queasy.

“Nine weeks.”

“Have you told him yet? Are you sure it’s his?”

“Mrs. Quinlan,” said Effie tiredly. “We’ve been through this. I’m sorry, but it’s private and really no one else’s business.”

“So, I take that as a yes,” she said mildly.

Exhausted, Effie’s eyes wandered longingly to the snow-specked window beyond Mrs. Q.

“He should have taken precautions,” the old woman said. “The situation he puts you in.”

”It wasn’t his fault,” said Effie. ”It just… happened.”

Mrs. Quinlan poured cream into her cup but Effie didn’t touch it. All she really wanted was to lie down.

There were cookies rounded up on the silvery cake stand. The frosting wasn’t like Peeta’s. Not nearly as nice but looking at them only reminded her of those lazy days in District 12 and Haymitch, teasing her for having such a sweet-tooth.

”Drink now,” said Mrs. Quinlan. “Add a little honey. Or would you rather I put some ginger in? It helps with the nausea.”

“No, it’s OK.”

Effie lifted the cup just to humor her. She was about to take a sip when the warm scent curled into her nose. A crease appeared between her eyebrows.

Mrs. Quinlan didn’t like surprises. Her routines had been virtually unchanged for the past decades. She washed her hands with the same kind of rose soap, combed her hair with the ivory comb that had survived two wars and she always drank jasmine tea.

This wasn’t jasmine tea. Effie should know. After all those tea parties at this very table, the flowery aroma was forever ingrained in her memory. She took another tentative sniff of the strange and unfamiliar fragrance.

It had a faint minty quality but not quite like the mint tea in District 12. She doubted she ever had it in the Capitol either. And yet the smell tugged at her, tried to tell her something.

Her eyes flitted to Mrs. Quinlan. The old woman stirred her own cup in slow, precise circles. The silver spoon rasped the bottom of the china. A cup she had yet to touch.

And a wave of dread flushed Effie’s face when the name surfaced.

”It’s pennyroyal.”

Mrs. Quinlan looked her in the eye. Her face was as hard and unyielding as the gems in her cheeks.

”You should never have let him into your bed.”

The beverage scalded Effie’s hands when she pushed back from the table. She stared at Mrs. Quinlan, eyes wide in terror.

”It’s for your own good, Euphemia. Nobody ever needs to know. It will be like it never happened.”

Effie didn’t stay to hear the rest. She fled the room, didn’t bother with her coat just bolted for the door. Her hands shook so badly she couldn’t work the locks and one terrible moment she thought herself trapped.

Footsteps approached or she imagined they did and a shriek escaped her lips. Then the door flew open and she staggered out into the sleet.

Blood pounded her ears as she locked her front door, fled into her bedroom and locked that door as well. She was shaking all over and slumped rather than sat down on the bed, hand clamped over her mouth.

I didn’t drink it. I never drank it.

Her vision was so blurred it took her three efforts to dial the right number. Her hand found her tummy and she tried to draw slow, deep breaths to calm the erratic beating of her heart.

”It’s OK,” she whispered to the unborn baby in her belly. ”It’s OK. You’re OK.”

So many signals just came and went, her hopes faltered with each one. Until,

“What?”

A sob slipped between her lips at the sound of his voice. She couldn’t help it. Her palm remained against her bump that wasn’t even a bump yet. Just a slight swelling beneath her dress. It made her feel stronger.

”Haymitch?” She fought to keep her voice steady. ”Haymitch, it’s me.”

“Ah, there she is,” he said with the nasty edge that sometimes crept into his voice when he drank, especially now under these circumstances. “Long time no princess. What can you want?”

“I’m sorry. I know I should have called you a long time ago.”

“Oh, I remember that voice. Effs Trinket needs a shoulder to cry on, huh? So she goes to good ol’ Haymitch. Course.” She heard him take a swig from a bottle. “It’s too bad mine’re all the way down here, then. Both of ‘em.”

“I can take the train.” Tears threatened to spill over her lashes but she held them back. Didn’t want to break down in to a blubbering mess. ”If I go now I ought to be…”

“Here in a day. Yeah. And I’m supposed to just welcome you with open arms?”

“Haymitch…”

“That’s my name.”

“I really must speak to you. It’s im…”

“What for?” he cut her off. “I’m a dead-end drunk, remember?”

“I’ve never called…”

“No, that’s right. Your words were much fancier.”

A wave of despair rose up within Effie. It was like a physical pain.

“I know you’re angry,” she said. ”This is not easy for me either but…”

“I’m fine, sweetheart. Just fine. Can’t ruin a life that’s already ruined, right? I s’pose you want all your crap back? Yeah, the kids have it. They think you’re gonna come back, you know. ‘When hell freezes over’, am I right? But you know Peeta. I’ll just tell ‘em to send it over straight away so you never have to set your foot here ever again. Great, huh?”

“You left me, Haymitch!” Effie cried and her voice broke. “I didn’t want you to go! I didn’t want it to end!”

“Could’ve fooled me.” He twisted the top of another bottle. “And don’t you worry your pretty head, sweetheart. You’ll get over it. Trust me. Soon you’re gonna find some nice, wholesome guy who does exactly what he’s told. It’ll be all: ‘Yes, Euphemia. No, Euphemia. Whatever you say, Eu…’”

“Don’t call me that!” she cried at the sound of Mrs. Quinlan’s name for her. “Haymitch, please!” She didn’t care that she begged now, hand clutched against her stomach like she could somehow protect it that way. ”Mrs. Q, she… she tried to… I need you! If you care about me at all…”

“Oh, I cared about you,” Haymitch said. “A lot. More than a lot. Should’ve fucking known better. So why don’t you call Plutarch or Octavia or any other of your friends and just leave me alone. Cause I owe you nothing. Nothing at all.”

Tears rolled down Effie’s face and she abandoned all efforts to try and stop them.

“I’m so stupid.”

“Have a wonderful life, Eff. I’m sure you’re gonna be deliriously happy.”

And she was left with just the flat audio tone.

Author’s note: I don’t know who I feel the most sorry for. Haymitch or Effie. How about you? And hayffie twins are on the way!

What did you think of Mathilda Quinlan? I face claim Geraldine Chaplin for her, the way she looked when she played Aurora in “The Orphanage”.

#hayffie #everlark #haymitch x effie #taste of strawberries fanfic #thg #post-mockingjay #haymitch abernathy #effie trinket #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #fanfiction #myfanfiction #district 12 #the capitol

9 notes · View notes

bbrandy2002 · 5 years

Text

The Diary of Riley Brooks

Entry Two

Wacky Drabble #8: Help me with this, would you?

Coincides with TRH Chapter 13

Some strong Language

Characters belong to Pixelberry

Drabbler Tags: @emceesynonymroll @burnsoslow @sirbeepsalot @jovialyouthmusic @romanticatheart-posts @stopforamoment @dcbbw @jessiembruno @katedrakeohd

Additional tags; I have no idea who is on my permanent tags list anymore😬 I didnt exactly keep up with it 😭 I'll do better. So please let me know so I can get that sorted out.

@ao719 @hopefulmoonobject

September 7

I'm having a baby!

As I sit here trying to let that statement fully sink in, I think about where I was just one year ago today.

I had always dreamt of meeting my Prince Charming, never really expecting to find him. Liam made me realize that fairy tales do exist and sometimes wishes do come true. That sounds so cliche, yet, I don't know any other way to describe what we share together.

He is my heartbeat, my every breath, my reason for existing. Our love is built on passion and longing, his touch excites me and his very presence heats my core. Our bodies joined together, whether fierce or gentle, is pure, unadulterated magic. Liam is my warmth and sincerity, my goodness and truth.

In the depths of my belly, I am carrying the greatest symbol of that love, a part of him and a part of me, a tiny creature that will forever bring us joy.

I spent much of the reception, anxious to find out if I was indeed pregnant. As I wrote yesterday, Savannah admitted to taking a pregnancy test, as well. For whatever reason, possibly one I don't want to ever know, she placed her negative test in the bathroom drawer. Due to Madeleine's incompetence and unwanted presence for this event, she, too, put my test in the drawer. Is there some kind of weird Cordonian tradition I am unaware of that says these test work better in drawers? And why did Savannah leave hers in there? The damn thing was negative. In light of his objection, I have a strong feeling, Mr. Chuck knows more than he is letting on.

Freaked the hell out by Savannah, I knew then, I was the one who was pregnant. I needed air and a moment to think, far away from all the yee-haw bullshit. I sent Liam a text, asking him to meet me in a clearing by the house, I had a surprise for him. Within seconds, he approaches me with a flirtatious smile, looking as if he was ready to fuck me six ways from Sunday. I love that man and I'm always more than willing to participate in his freakish, outdoor sex fetish, but, this wasn't what I had in mind.

After I tell him we are a having a baby, he sweeps me up in his arms, gently placing me back to the ground. His happiness was written all over his face, until it wasn't. He went into Liam mode, panicking about the need to baby proof every room at the Palace and Valtoria. As much as I loved his cute response, I wanted tears dammit. I wanted him on his knees, crying his eyes out, unable to talk, worshipping my stomach. Mick Jagger said you can't always get what you want, but, sometimes you get what you need....well, I needed a sobbing, shaking Liam, is that too much to ask?

We discuss when to tell our friends and because I'm a petty, evil bitch, I decide we should tell them right in the middle of Savannah and Bertrand's reception. You propose at my wedding, I announce the equivalent of the second coming, in the form of my sacred child, at yours. I couldn't care less for the rest of the wedding attendees, but, seeing Hana, Drake, Maxwell and Bertrand delight in our news was exciting.

Afterwards, Liam wants to celebrate in private, which means, we might talk some, but, he still has every intention of getting off tonight. We head upstairs and I was correct in my assumption, he wants to celebrate making the baby by doing what we did to make it. He is a wet panty dropper for sure. And while some ride Harley's and horses, I propped my little pregnant ass on my own stallion and rode him hard. If Barthelemy weren't already out of his coma, me screaming Liam's name when I climaxed, would have awakened the old coot for sure.

If my panties weren't already off, after he sang a lullaby to our baby, that for sure would have melted them away. If he keeps this up, we'll have our own 20 Kids and Counting reality show.

I should have stayed in fucking bed this morning. At breakfast, Bertrand greeted us in kind, while Stick-It-In-A-Drawer Savannah, reminded us all that we are not at court. Why is she still here and not on her honeymoon? Then Leona tells me I can't have a cup of coffee....bitch, I was downing shots like no tomorrow just three days ago with Liv and Hana in Auvernal. This queen will drink a cup of coffee if she damn well pleases. My baby is probably going to come out with two heads.

Like the lovable, little genius he is, Maxwell suggests everyone buys the baby a gift. Guess who further suggested we get these gifts from the local country general store? The same damn place that was using a priceless saddle as a fucking hat holder. I can't even write her name anymore. I have to wonder, why I have been playing second fiddle on Hee-Haw Hell to her during this trip.

So the gang and I pack into our vehicle and head back to said store, where I can share with all of Cordonia that the royal crib was purchased at Wild Chester's Gear and Steer on Bootleg Road. I watched Maxwell fawn over socks, Hana recreated painful memories of lonely tea parties, and Drake...well, Drake's little wooden horse was quite adorable.

I get a call from Olivia, who somehow managed to escape earlier from this shithole than I did. I thought we were amigas now Liv? She actually cried when I told her Liam and I were expecting. I don't know what the hell she is doing in my bedroom, but, if Livvie needs something there, I'm more than happy to help a girl out. She asked me for the most valuable thing in my room, I lied to her and told her it was the royal sceptre. If she only knew the value of the dildo I had in my nightstand....that better be exactly where I left it when I get back.

Back at the ranch, Liam says the five most beautiful, glorious words I have been waiting to here for weeks.....We're almost ready to go....Hot Damn!

Bianca asked me if I thought I could get away without saying goodbye...I already knew the answer was, no. If she only knew how hard I tried about twenty times since arriving to cut tail and run. And damn that heartless, nazi, Leona, she for real dissed my husband! Bitch, I will snap you in half over Liam.

Just when I think I'm finally in the clear, who in the blue fuck put me on a plane for the next 10 hours with Frick, Frack and Kiara?

Liam, I love you, but, damn you! I'm nauseous, tired, moody, and pissing buckets every 10 minutes, carrying your child, and you thought this was a good idea.

I blame pregnancy brain for my decision to tell these three our big news. I'm not the greatest at charades, Im not even the smartest person in the world, but, I swear to God, these three may quite possibly be the dumbest morons I have ever met. They guessed I was full, I was bloated, gluttony.....fucking gluttony???? Yes Penelope, the big news I wanted to share with you is I'm a glutton. Maybe a glutton for punishment, deciding to interact with you three. More guesses included, American Football, and a common pirate jig....one of these women is an ambassador and the other my communications director. I'm a waitress from Brooklyn, and my word, I'm truly baffled by the sheer stupididy I had just witnessed. I turned to Liam, pleading with my eyes, help me with this, would you?

As bad as those three were, out of no where, the most incompetant, security guard on this planet, appears right before me. I didn't have time to worry about her, because apparently, the bane of my existence just scheduled a press conference to announce my pregnancy. I haven't seen a doctor to even confirm yet, what the hell Madeleine. One of these days, I am gonna beat that green goblin's ass down.

Cordonia, I'm on my way and can't be there soon enough.

Riley

#wackydrabbles #liam x riley #liam x mc #trh fanfic #trh #choices trh #trh liam #trh mc

94 notes · View notes

lesbianmonsterlover · 5 years

Text

Female Werewolf x Female Reader (part 1)(SFW)

Hey, so, basically this was in my head and I had it get it out. When I made it to page six with no end in sight, but at a good stopping point for now, I wanted to get out a post. So I guess this is going to be a two-parter!

---

Your walk home from work always consisted of a trek through a dark alley between the back of two restaurants. Most people were scared of the thought of walking down such a street at that hour of the night, but you knew that the presence of security cameras behind the two establishments meant that no one was dumb enough to stake out there in hopes of catching someone unawares. You so rarely encountered anyone or anything else in that stretch of your walk - save for the occasional worker coming out the backdoor of their place of work with the trash - that when you began seeing the same battered looking dog regarding you warily night after night you started bringing it treats.

The first time you stopped it was because you were carrying home some leftovers from a work lunch, your team had gone to a steakhouse and you couldn’t finish your strip steak, so you took it home to maybe have for dinner or over a salad for lunch tomorrow. The thought went through your mind, though, as you approached the alley to maybe offer the meat to the sweet, sad looking pup. Well, pup was probably the wrong term, but aren’t all dogs puppies really? The creature was huge, you’d have guessed nearly waist height while standing on all fours, and a pure midnight black with one startlingly clear crystal blue eye. They’d always eye you warily as you walked through the alley, although they never once raised a hackle or a growl your way even when you’d coo hello on your way past.

Before you can stop yourself you pull the little cardboard takeout box of steak out of your bag and pop open the lid, revealing half of a steak sliced into strips laid out along with some of those roasted potatoes. You double checked to make sure nothing had any garlic (bad for a pupper’s stomach) and after being sure this was all safe for the big dog you walked into the alley intent on offering it to them.

The huge canine was curled up in a ball where they usually were, deep in the shadows of a little alcove set into the building where their fire hookup was. “Hey gorgeous.” You croon down at the dog, but instead of continuing your walk, for the first time ever you squat lightly in front of the big creature and give it a tentative, closed mouth smile. “My eyes were bigger than my stomach at lunch I guess, and I think you’d enjoy this more than I would tonight.” You set the cardboard takeout box down, open, on the ground and shuffle it towards the dog, who meanwhile had perked up and began regarding you with a sort of aloof wariness. You just sit there, looking happily and quietly at the dog as it sniffed first at the cardboard box and then at its contents before picking up a piece of steak and snapping it into their mouth with a satisfied rumble. Content that the dog is happy and eating you stand and coo out a goodbye to the beautiful creature who doesn’t even look twice at you as you walk back home. You’re maybe a little sad that you won’t have your leftovers tonight, but you happily pop in some of your frozen lasagna and can’t find it in you anywhere to regret feeding that dog.

You had more than enough padding in your income, considering you’re single and don’t really do a whole lot other than work and hang out at home watching Netflix and partaking in your hobbies, that you didn’t think twice about starting to bring a little something for the dog every day. Maybe you’d earn its trust, and you could bring them home! And be friends! You’d wanted a dog for a while, a furry cuddler who would want to hang out half on your lap while you pet its fluffy ears, but also a dog who would help make sure you get out of the house a few times a day and actually walk, do something. The next day you stop in to the diner around the corner from your office to get a side of bacon, presenting it to the confused but happy dog with another smile. You sit a little longer, talking lightly about your day and how excited you were to see them that evening. “You know, seeing you is starting to be the best part of my day. So I thought maybe I’d bring you some treats to let you know I appreciate it.” You give another sweet, closed lip smile to the dog before standing and continuing on home. You really, really want to pet the dog. Their ears looked so soft! But you didn’t want to invade their personal space, especially as a stray. You didn’t want to get your hand bitten off, of course, but you also wanted to make sure that the dog continued to trust you.

You brought something every day after work, five days a week. The dog still didn’t let you touch them, but you started to notice them perking up before you came into the alley, and their tail had even started to thump a little against the ground when they sighted you. You were three months into this arrangement when you were fired. You knew why, you had denied the advances of a superior and they began making your life a living hell at work, writing you up over every infraction. You were consulting with a lawyer but that didn’t stop it from scaring you. You had to get your resume in order now and start a job search, could you use this place as a reference? Probably not, well shit. You’re empty handed today, and this time instead of squatting you kneel down heavily on the pavement in front of the dog. You give them a sad smile. “Sorry sweetheart, I’m empty handed today. I know, I’m disappointing you, I’m sorry. I got fired today, so money’s gonna be a little tight, and I don’t think I’m going to have an excuse to walk through this neighborhood anymore.”

You’re crying now, fat tears running down your cheeks, and before you can lift a hand to wipe them away the dog licks one off of your cheek and whines at you. “I’m gonna miss you sweetheart, I wish you’d come with me.” With a shaking hand you hesitantly stroke up the dog’s neck and over the top of their head. They let out a chuff that sounds like a resigned sigh before licking over your cheek again and pressing their cold nose into your neck. It makes you giggle and scratch behind their ears. When you eventually stand after calming down the dog also stands up. It’s missing one foreleg, something you never noticed, although it doesn’t seem to impede their movement in the least. You were right to think they were huge too, their back reaching up to the bottom of your rib cage. You aren’t sure what to expect, you’re hoping they’ll follow you home you guess, but instead of doing that they just stand there watching you as you walk away. You pause at the end of the alley and glance back, waiting a beat to see if they’ll join you. When they don’t you deflate a little but continue your walk back to your little one story house.

It’s in a neighborhood that isn’t great, but you’re quiet and keep to yourself and keep your head down. People leave you alone, you don’t get in anyone’s business, and everyone’s happy. You have a little yard surrounded by a short brick fence with an old wrought iron gate. The gate had been in terrible condition when you bought the house, but a little elbow grease and some fresh paint had it looking good as new. The whole house was a little dingy looking, but homey and put together. The tiny front yard was full to bursting with flowers and plants, other than a little concrete path from the road to the front door. The inside is cozy, thrifted furniture and handmade decorations. You may not be rich, but you live quite happily within your means with enough leftover for some of your wants.

You take the weekend to wallow. You drink wine and eat ice cream and cry, binge watching shows and lying on the couch. When you wake up on Monday though you feel a little better if slightly hungover, and you spend the day going over your resume and figuring out how to go about your job search. When evening comes you’re interrupted by a sound out your back door that’s unfamiliar to you. It’s almost like a knock, but not quite, and it’s followed by a thud and whine.

The being standing at your backdoor, under the flickering warm light above the entryway, is huge. Towering over you is a pitch black void of light standing on two powerful hind legs, holding a man in a ski mask up by his throat while he hangs limply from its clawed grip. The creature is missing an arm and one of its eyes, and after a beat you recognize that whatever this thing is...it’s also the dog from behind the restaurant. You faint.

When you wake up you’re back on your couch, and as you blink up at the ceiling you recall your weird dream from earlier where the dog from the restaurant alley was standing outside your house. But it wasn’t the dog, it was a werewolf. Or it looked like a werewolf. You chuckle to yourself before turning onto your side and promptly startling off the couch at the sight in front of you.

The creature from what you were sure is a dream is sitting back on its haunches like a large dog, staring at you from its one intelligent blue eye. It’s impossibly big, even sitting you think their head would reach the middle of your chest. “Holy shit!” You pop up from behind your coffee table to see the big creature cowering slightly and looking at you with their ears pinned back.

“Didn’t mean to scare you.” The rough voice of the creature hits your ears and you’re startled back into silent contemplation. Okay, so, it can talk. “Figured since you took care’a me, I’d keep watch over ya. Found some guy sniffin’ ‘round your place so I took care of ‘im.”

“Thank you.” Your reply is a little quiet, and you’re staring slack-jawed at a creature that really, truly isn’t supposed to exist. They huff out something that sounds like a laugh, although there’s a sort of self deprecating edge to it that you don’t like.

“Yeah, this’s why I didn’t take ‘ya up on yer offer.” They grimace, frowning as best as they can with their muzzle and sinking into themselves to make themselves smaller. Immediately you try to perk up and break out of whatever your trance is.

“No, no! Please, don’t leave, I’m just surprised. I didn’t think...I mean, I thought you were just a big...dog? Obviously you’re not! But I mean, you can’t blame me for being surprised can you? Up until a few minutes ago werewolves were a fictional concept for me.” They look a little sheepish at that, but settle down onto the rug in your living room and look at you curiously.

“Keep fergettin’ humans ain’t connected with the super-nat’ral world no more really.” They pin you with that icy blue gaze. “You can feel our connection though, can’tcha?” Your heart is racing, thrumming in your throat as you listen to the implication in that voice. It’s true you’d felt drawn to that dog, but your heart always broke for poor strays out in the world. You didn’t think it was any different to the feeling you’d get for any dog you saw regularly enough to get to know. But sitting in front of you in this form there’s something about the pull that’s a little bit deeper, more intense. “Can hear yer heart racing, pretty ‘lil rabbit. Y’know, yer the reason I’m in this town in’the first place.” You give a confused look and they chuckle raspily. “S’the connection, ‘lil rabbit, we know to look for it when we start to feel it. Was jes’ passin’ through to get back ta my pack, but I couldn’t leave without my mate.”

“M-Mate?” You can only ask that question in a small, soft voice as they chuckle at you again, languidly flowing up and stalking around the coffee table to tower over you from where you’re still sitting on the floor. Their cold nose on your pulse point makes you shriek, but you bare your neck up rather submissively instead of pull away.

“I was serprised too ‘lil rabbit, human mates’re rare shit. ‘Specially for animals like me.” They inhale deeply at your neck before licking up the column of your throat to your jaw. “‘M a lucky woman, my ‘lil mate is cute as shit, ‘n you smell so fucking good.” Your answering whimper prompts another low growl from her chest, and her jaw locks around your throat just enough to leave the imprint of her teeth on your neck. When she sits back on her haunches and towers over you again her eye is sparking heat as she gazes at you. “Was tryin’ ta figger out how ‘ta meetcha all natural like, but then ya stopped comin’ round ‘n tonight happened an’ I had’ta protect ya, rabbit, and when ya saw me and ya fainted I panicked.”

Your laugh is loud and powerful, and you startle the werewolf into silence as she word vomits out at you. Before she can look too upset though you lean forward and hug her, resting your head on her chest. Her hand are is more like a human hand than a paw, although each finger is still tipped with harsh claws that make you shiver as they rake through your hair to scratch your scalp pleasantly. You nuzzle your face into the fluffy fur of her chest, pleased to feel the give of small breasts beneath the dark fuzz. Your content sigh has her let out a low rumble, laving her tongue across your ear in an affectionate swipe.

“Well, I think you did just fine. Protected me from a burglar and everything. Thank you for that, by the way.” You smile up at her, cupping her jaw with one hand as you tug her down to your level in order to place a chase human kiss on her snout. She lets out a content little whine that makes you giggle, and settles her big head in your lap so you can card your fingers through her fur around her ears and down the back of her skull. “What’s my mate’s name?”

Her tail thumps wildly against the floor for a moment as she stares up from your lap with her eye wide and sparkling. “Kara, ‘lil rabbit. An’ don’t go ‘round callin’ me yer mate if you aren’t gonna accept the claim, sweets.” Her growl has a low, seductive timbre to it in the end, and you swallow thickly before nodding. “Already in dangerous territory rabbit, betcha didn’t know all’a those times ya fed me was you courtin’ me.” Her smile is appropriately wolfish. “Now how ‘bout your name?” You stumble over introducing yourself, and the way Kara purrs your name back to you makes your insides flip pleasantly.

“If I...I mean, if I were to accept the claim, what would that mean? Remember, I’m a human, I’m kinda ignorant about all of this.” You continue petting over her skull as she settles back into your lap, humming thoughtfully, her one arm moving to encircle you slightly, toying with the hem of your shirt where it lays against the floor at your hip.

“Means yer mine, forever. Kinda like marriage, but no divorce, not like yer gonna wanna leave me anyway rabbit.” She gives you a one-eyed wink that still manages to make you blush. “Means I take care’a ya, keep ya fed, housed, protected, warm, satisfied.” The way she gazes up at you with promise at the last word makes you swallow thickly, trying not to shift your hips at the implication. “Bring ya into my pack, you’d be parta the family. I gotta ‘lil cabin out in the woods, most’ve us do since they mostly spend time in a human form, but it’s a place’a my own. Feels awful lonely without my mate.”

The two of you talk through the night, and fall asleep together in a pile on your living room floor. Her story breaks your heart. She wasn’t born into the pack she’s currently a part of. Her original family couldn’t believe that their daughter had inherited their dominant gene while their son preferred to be much more passive. But her parents took advantage of her need to be accepted and love, and forced her to spend so much time shifted that she gradually forgot how to shift back. Her human form had been lost to her since she was a child, and while her new packmates were working on it - that’s actually the reason she’d been passing through your city in the first place, to visit a physician who was sympathetic to werewolves, and who thought they might be able to help her reclaim her human form and therefore some semblance of normalcy and a place in broader society.

You’re surprisingly comfortable when you wake for someone who slept on the ground, but when you come to full consciousness you to find yourself draped fully over the big fuzzy woman you realize why. You didn’t really sleep on the ground, you slept on a big fluffy cushion in effect. You want to accept the claim. It’s not like you had anything tying you here any longer. Your family wasn’t here, your job was gone, you can lighten up your load, break the lease, and just...go with this. This is the adventure you used to spend nights wishing for, really. Less “knight-in-shining-armor” and more “fuzzy-mercenary-who-would-kill-for-you” but still, someone who said they were destined for you, swept you off your feet and made you feel special, beautiful, perfect just as you are.

“Thinkin’ hard there, rabbit.” You squeak a little and jump as you’re broken out of your thoughts by the rough sleepy voice of Kara. She chuckles at your reaction and then laughs when you pout up at her in return. “Oh no, not that look rabbit, ‘s too cute.” She nuzzles into the crown of your head, still chuckling. Rubbing her scent all over you and yours on her in return.

“Well, if you have to ask, I was thinking about the fact that I want to accept your claim.” That stills the woman beneath you, and you let you a little shriek when she abruptly sits up, taking you with her until you’re sitting astride her lap as she gazes down at you, your face caged in her big hand.

“What did’ja say?” Her voice is hushed and almost reverent, her thumb stroking over your cheek with an impressive amount of gentleness. You smile up at her and place your hand over hers on your cheek, your eyes sparkling happily.

“I said I want to accept your claim, Kara. I feel it too, and the thought of staying in this shitty city without you here with me causes me physical pain. Wherever you go, I want to go with you.” She growls pressing her muzzle to your lips and pushing her tongue into your mouth in one swift motion. She hums at your taste, angling your head to her liking so she can take her time mapping out all of the spots that make you writhe against her. When she pulls away, panting heavily, you can see her one pupil is blown with arousal.

“Not here, rabbit, when I claim ya it’s gonna be in my house on my bed so we can make it all ours.”

#female werewolf #Female reader #fem werewolf #fem reader #my writing #exophilia #wlw #lesbian love #lesbian fiction #lesbian exophilia #lesbian romance #soulmate shit #i'm weak for that trash #i'm a hopeless romantic

186 notes · View notes