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#if its out of character then no don't tell me I'll cry
daistea · 13 days
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𝙻𝚊𝚘𝚒𝚜, 𝙼𝚒𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚞𝚗, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙺𝚊𝚋𝚛𝚞 𝚡 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝙷𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚜
Word Count: 1,483
Falling In Love With You & Relationship Headcanons
* . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° . *
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Laois
It takes a little while for Laois to realize the truth of his feelings, to be honest. He doesn’t have much experience with romance, and actually not much interest in it either, so he sees you as a really good beloved friend. 
He falls in love without realizing and spends quite a while having no clue that he’s in love. Everybody else knows how he feels and are impatiently waiting and watching for him to realize it too.
Laois thinks of you often. Between the pages of monster doodles and notes are very badly drawn doodles of you. (He’s made you a monster-sona, it's very cool, but he's too nervous to show you.)
Laois says the sweetest things without realizing they’re sweet. He’ll always tell you that you look nice. He’ll always make sure you’re well fed. He’ll always make sure you’re safe.
He spends a lot of time around you. A lot. He’s like your shadow, or a puppy at your heels.
He only realizes how he feels after a big event, such as you dying in the dungeon, getting hurt, etc… 
But even then, he’s not really sure what to do with himself. He starts to get more nervous and pulls away a little bit, but his actions with you also become more weighty and serious. His touches are more meaningful, he looks you in the eyes deeply often when he’s talking to you, he tends to put a hand on your back to lead you through the dungeon (though he gets flustered when he does that.) Laois basically starts trying to put more thought into how he acts around you, trying to be cooler or more charming, but this isn’t very sustainable because he’s not being himself anymore. This is probably fixed by someone in the party telling him to stop, or by yourself.
Laois is a clingy partner. He’s very touchy and unashamed about it. He doesn’t realize he’s touching you half the time, it’s just habit. He’s the type to absently draw circles on your thigh or hand. 
He isn’t particularly jealous, mainly because he doesn’t realize it when people are flirting with you unless they outright say it. Then he’s just worried about you, and how you feel. He can be protective though, he just doesn’t really know what to do if it’s a human threatening you. 
Buy this man a bouquet of flowers once and he’ll start thinking about marriage. He likes affection from you. 
Laois’s love languages? All of it. Every type. Gift giving and physical touch are big for him though.
You ask Laois for a baby and he just thinks for a minute… His cheeks are a little pink as he asks, “What kind?” Preferably human, you say. He tries to hide his disappointment but agrees nonetheless. 
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Kabru
Kabru is immediately aware of what’s happening with himself. The very moment he hears you laugh and thinks to himself, “Wow, what a pretty sound…” He’s like haha hold up! No. 
Kabru is a charmer and knows how to handle people. I believe he’s been in very light, casual relationships before, but nothing serious. At first, he’d assume his feelings for you are light, like usual. Nothing to be concerned about. 
He starts getting the urge to dissect your thoughts and put each of them into little jars for him to inspect. He does not say this out loud and tries not to show it, but he stares a lot. 👁️👁️
His feelings for you quickly become a chess game that he’s determined to win. Unfortunately, you’re eating the pieces when he’s not looking. 
He worms his way into your life very subtly. One moment, he’s asking you how you feel about the weather, the next moment he’s urging you to spill your childhood trauma. It’s only when he takes a step back and asks himself, “Why do I care so much?” that he realizes how serious of a situation this is. 
Of course, Kabru cares about a lot of people. He likes to know things. But this is different. He wants to know every little detail about you simply for his good pleasure. Sure, he files it all away into neatly organized cabinets in his mind, but he has no intent to use that information for anything but your happiness. 
For example: Kabru will most definitely remember that offhand comment you made about preferring a certain table at that one restaurant you visited three years ago. He’ll make sure you get that table. He knows exactly what you’ll order too. 
When he’s wrong about you, though, it baffles but simultaneously charms him. 
You people-watch together. He can probably read lips, and he tells you what the people around you are saying. 
He needs to keep you away from the dungeon. Not because of anything you did, but because he might go a little mad if he doesn’t at least try to keep you away from that lifestyle. 
Kabru is chivalrous and kind. He kisses your knuckles a lot, like a gentleman. He puts his hand on the small of your back. He fixes your hair if it’s messed up. He isn’t much for pda, but it’s obvious you two are a couple with the way he often whispers to you, catches your eye, and smiles at you. 
He’s a blanket hog. He doesn’t mean to be, but he is. 
Jealousy isn’t a big thing with Kabru. Sure, he feels it, but he stays calm and will simply wrap an arm around your shoulder and start a conversation with the person flirting with you. He’ll end up actually making their acquaintance and have a relatively okay conversation. He's still jealous, but distracted enough for it to not consume him. 
Kabru's love languages are acts of service and physical touch.
You ask Kabru for a baby and he just laughs. He thinks you’re joking. After a moment, it sets in that you’re not joking and he gets flustered.
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Mithrun
Mithrun is vaguely aware of what’s happening when he’s falling in love, it just doesn’t seem like something he needs to acknowledge, think about, or act on. He’s wrong. 
To be honest, he doesn’t believe he’s capable of romantic love. He’s wrong.
It starts out very subtly. Mithrun starts to take more notice of the little things about you; the color of your hair in the sun, the color of your eyes, how your voice sticks in the back of his brain and refuses to leave. Mithrun knows what this means, but he doesn’t really care at the moment.
Then, it starts getting more intense. Without meaning to, he notices the shape of your lips, the feeling of your skin, the sound of your footsteps… 
This is when he starts getting a little curious. Is this a desire the demon missed within him? Is this a new desire forming? Huh.
Pre-ending Mithrun chooses to ignore it because what’s the point? This results in some irritation for him, longing looks(he doesn’t look longing on the outside, but it’s there on the inside. What everybody else sees is just... a slight look of determination on his face. He has no idea he's making that face either nor does he really care.) and unexplained protective tendencies that shock the canaries and, occasionally, himself.
Post-ending Mithrun chooses to dig deeper because this is a desire forming and he wants to hang onto every tiny molecule of desire he possesses with all of his strength. This results in soft touches at every opportunity he has, willingness to do whatever you ask, and his constant presence with no discernible explanation. 
Are you dating? Nobody quite knows, not even you. 
Mithrun was naturally jealous and possessive before The Incident. He doesn’t get like that again until you come along, and then it’s like his old self wakes up a little. Just a little. He doesn’t make scenes or get emotional over it, but he will calmly walk up to somebody that’s flirting with you, touch their shoulder, then teleport them away from you.
 If someone asks what you are to him, he simply says, “Mine,” or “Does it matter?” with a straight face.
He can be seen frequently wrapping his arms around you from behind and resting his head on top of yours if you’re shorter, or on your shoulder if you’re taller. 
On occasion, he will be caught with a small smile as he holds you. It’s rare, but it happens. What’s he thinking at those moments? No one knows. 
The canaries are incredibly nosy— aside from Pattadol— about your relationship, and Mithrun has no qualms about answering their invasive questions. 
Mithrun’s love languages are acts of service and physical touch. You’re the only one he likes touching. He doesn’t say I Love You often but he will definitely lean on you a lot and protect you even if you don’t need it. 
You ask for a baby and he calmly says, "Give me a week... What color do you want?"
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
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celestial-sapphicss · 8 months
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#so i just finished s1ep2 of the bear (i don't really get it so far but ok)#and there's this scene where the main character calls up his sister and tells her about the mental shit that has been happening with him uk#and like even though this feeling is always there but lile i can't help but feel like my life would have been so much better with a sibling?#like one id have good relationships with uk???#and ik ik found family and forming meaningful relationships outside is an option but like in this capitalistic individualist society? is it?#anyways that's not the point it's that there's always stuff no body in the world would get except people who grow up with you innit?#be it school or hometowns or families and it would have been nice to have someone help me not feel this complete overwhelmness all the time#and without me feeling like im exaggerating or thinking that the person would judge me or having to keep telling everything repeatedly#but then i think would that even matter when I am the one who's the problem and like can't work to form that connection with anyone?????#like i for the life of me cannot share anything beyond the surface level or without making a joke out of it#and it seems funny but i trivialise so much of the fucking shit that happens so obviously no one takes it seriously not their fault right?#and like how fair to my friends that i literally almost always been superficial and lowkey untrue with them in exchange for their honesty???#at this point i feel like i don't even know what i truly feel or truly am because whenever i look back at my past self im like wtf#idk most of the times it just feels like being 'stuck' in a glass container and me not 'letting' anyone in if that makes sense?#ik im being very annoying about it but im just so tierd of feeling like this its been a decade & its way too long to constantly feeling dead#and im so fucking stubborn in my sadness that i won't even go get help after years of crying about wanting it & now finally having resources#it's like this mental block which i can't seem to remove and i feel like even if i do get help ill still be untrue so what's the point!???#yeahhhhh anyways i'll delete this later i don't journal so tumblr will have to make do#vi.txt
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pockettwinzz · 21 days
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Bully - P.JY
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୨୧ Warnings ୨୧ : Lots of bullying, degrading, blood, hitting, trauma, sick parent, kissing, smut, NSFW, fluff, angst
୨୧ A/N ୨୧ : sorry for such drastic turns in this- (i was just trying to make a happy ending or else y'all might kill me kksksks) and yeah there's a poem in it too, i wrote it lolol. I'm not satisfied with this but oh well.. I pray that all some of my moots(who are also my faves) don't read this shi-
𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐢𝐭 <3
୨୧ Word Count ୨୧ : 6.6k | 35,514 characters
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You hated this place. The oppressive humidity sticks to your skin like a second layer of clothing. Even the air feels heavy, as if the atmosphere itself were a physical weight dragging you down. The sky is a relentless shade of gray, like someone smeared charcoal across the horizon, and the constant drizzle turns everything into a uniform shade of drab. You were sitting on the edge of the school's roof, your legs dangling over the edge. Your school backpack sat beside you, its contents scattered around you like a pathetic offering to the gods of lost hopes and dreams.
The sound of footsteps echoes across the rooftop, growing louder with each step. You glance over your shoulder, half-expecting to see a teacher or a security guard approaching. But it's him, Jay. He struts across the rooftop with an arrogant swagger that you know all too well. His dirty-blond hair is slicked back, and his piercing brown eyes are narrowed into a predatory glare. He's dressed in a tight black T-shirt and dark jeans that hug his muscular frame. You can't help but feel a shiver of fear run down your spine.
Jay stops in front of you, his hands planted firmly on his hips. "Well, well, well, if it isn't the little mouse herself," he says with a sneer. "What are you doing up here, Yn? Trying to run away from your problems again?"
You grit your teeth, trying to ignore the venom in his voice. "I just need some time alone, Jay," you reply, your voice steady despite your racing heart. "Leave me alone."
He laughs, a cruel sound that grates on your nerves. "Oh, I'm not here to leave you alone, Yn. You know that." He steps closer, his breath warm against your ear. "I'll never leave you alone"
Your heart skips a beat, but you force yourself to remain still and calm. You know what he's capable of, and you don't want to provoke him any further. "What do you mean, Jay? I don't have anything that belongs to you," you say, trying to keep your voice steady.
Jay's laugh is cold and mocking. "Oh, I don't want anything you have, mouse. I just want to make you suffer a little bit. You've been so lucky for so long, hiding behind your friends and your teachers. Well, today's the day that all that changes."
He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small, worn leather book. You recognize it immediately; it was your diary. Jay snickers as he holds it up for you to see. "I found this little gem in your locker today. It's been so entertaining reading about all the things you've said about me." He winks, and the gesture is so revolting that you feel a shudder run through you. "Oh, and speaking of things you've said…"
He takes a step back and then, with a swift motion, kicks you as hard as he can in the stomach. The air is forced from your lungs in a painful whoosh, and you collapse to the ground, curled up in a ball. Tears well up in your eyes as you gasp for breath, the wet pavement pressing uncomfortably into your back. You feel a hot stinging sensation spread across your abdomen where he kicked you.
"That's for talking shit about me, mouse," he says, his voice cold and cruel. "And if you ever think about telling anyone about this, I'll make sure you regret it." With that, he turns and walks away, leaving you there on the ground, hurt and frightened. You want to cry out, to beg for mercy, but you're too scared to make a sound. All you can do is lie there and try to catch your breath, the taste of bile rising in the back of your throat.
You try to pull yourself up onto your elbows, wincing as the pain in your stomach flares anew, but you can't seem to get any air into your lungs. It feels like Jay has punched the wind out of you, both literally and figuratively. You close your eyes, feeling hot tears well up in the corners, and try to will yourself to breathe.
A few shallow gasps manage to find their way into your lungs, and with each one, you feel a tiny bit more like you can handle this. You force yourself to sit up, pressing your back against the walls for support, and take several deep, ragged breaths. The pain in your stomach begins to subside a little, and you're finally able to focus on something other than the ache.
"What am I going to do?" you whisper to yourself. You know you can't go to the teachers or your friends; Jay would only deny everything, and they wouldn't believe you anyway. And even if they did, they might not be able to protect you from him. You feel trapped, helpless, like there's no way out of this nightmare.
You close your eyes, trying to think of some sort of plan, but all you can see is Jay's angry face and the pain in your stomach. You decide to wait until the end of the day, when everyone else has left the school grounds, and then you'll find some way to get home without him noticing. Maybe if you can just stay out of his sight for a little while longer, things will eventually go back to normal.
Well, it's safe to say things aren't going as planned. The following week passes by in a blur of fear and avoidance. You manage to stay out of Jay's sight during school hours, but you're always on edge, waiting for the moment when his gaze will fall upon you. You're constantly looking over your shoulder, feeling like he's watching you even when you know he isn't. It's exhausting, and the stress starts to take a toll on your grades and your friendships.
Finally, one afternoon as you're hurrying to your next class, you catch a glimpse of him in the hallway. Your heart stops in your chest, and you feel like you can't breathe. He sees you, too, and starts to walk purposefully in your direction. You break into a panicked run, trying to lose him in the crowd, but he's too fast. He catches up to you and grabs your arm roughly, yanking you into an empty classroom.
"What do you want from me?" you choke out, tears streaming down your face. "I didn't do anything!"
Jay just laughs, a cruel and mocking sound. "Oh, you didn't do anything? Is that what you're going with?" He shoves you roughly against the chalkboard, pinning you there with one hand. "You're a pathetic and dumb liar, you know that?"
You cough, trying to catch your breath. "Jay, I swear I didn't-"
He cuts you off with a harsh shove. "Save it. You know what you did." His grip tightens on your arm, and it feels like he's crushing your bone. "Now, I want you to tell me where it is."
You try to pull away, but he's too strong. "Where's what?" you choke out, tears streaming down your face.
Jay sighs, as if you're being painfully dense. "You know exactly what I'm talking about." He leans in close, his hot breath tickling your ear. "I know you have it. And I want it back."
You shake your head frantically, tears streaming down your face. "I don't have it! I swear! I don't know what you're talking about!"
Jay's grip tightens painfully, and he yanks you closer, his breath hot against your neck. "Don't lie to me," he whispers menacingly.
You cry out, trying to pull away from him, but it's no use. "I'm not lying! I swear I don't have it!"
Jay's face turns red with anger, and he shoves you roughly against the chalkboard again, the sharp edges biting into your back. Jay laughs, a cruel and mocking sound. "Oh, come on. You expect me to believe that?" He presses the heel of his hand against your cheek, forcing your head back against the chalkboard. "You're just as bad a liar as you are a thief."
He's not letting up. Every blow feels like it's breaking something new inside you. You want to scream, but you can't find the breath. You feel like you're choking on his anger, like it's filling your lungs and blocking everything else out. The pain is intense, but the fear is worse. Fear that this will never end, fear that he'll really kill you this time, fear that no one will ever believe you if you do survive.
He throws you to the ground, your head hitting the hardwood floor with a sickening thud. The pain shoots through your skull, making it impossible to focus on anything else. Jay stands over you, breathing heavily, his fists still clenched. You try to crawl away, but your body feels numb and weak. You can feel warm blood trickling down your face and neck, stinging your skin.
"I'm sorry," you manage to choke out between ragged breaths. "I'm so sorry." You spoke before you passes out, before your body completely gives out.
Jay watches you, unblinking, as your eyes flutter shut and your chest barely rises and falls. He stands there for a moment, his anger slowly dissipating, replaced by a strange sort of feeling. Regret? Maybe. Guilt? Hard to say. But he knows he can't leave you like this. He reaches down, rolling you onto your side gently, shaking your figure, "H-hey" he whispers "Wake up!"
"YN!! WAKE UP!" Jay shouts, shaking you harder. He feels tears streaming down his face as he tries to wake you up, but you just lie there, motionless. Panic surges through him as he realizes that he might have gone too far.
One of his friends, Jungwon, suddenly bursts into the room, taking in the scene before him with wide eyes. "Jay! What the fuck is going on?"
Jay looks up at Jungwon, panic still etching lines on his face. "I-I don't know. She just wouldn't wake up." He points at you, the tears streaming down his cheeks now.
"Call an ambulance right now" Jungwon says, his voice quivering. He looks at Jay, then back at you, and then back at Jay again, still unable to process what's happening. He dials 911 and hands the phone to Jay, who takes a deep breath before giving the operator their address.
--
You wake up to open curtains and a soft bed beneath you. The room is white, clean, and quiet. You take a deep breath and sit up, your head throbbing. You don't recognize the room or the person sitting by your bedside. Hell, you don't even remember why you were there.
Your parents rushed into the room, relief and worry etched on their faces. They flank you, their arms around your shoulders. "Oh, sweetie," your mom whispers, tears streaming down her face. "We were so worried." Your dad nods, his voice thick as he says, "We don't know what happened."
"Well," you manage, still trying to piece it together, "I d-don't remember anything…" You trail off, frowning.
Your parents exchange worried glances. Your dad squeezes your shoulder. "That's okay, sweetie. We're just glad you're here and safe now."
--
The following months are a blur of doctors, therapy. They think you don't remember anything but; You remember everything. The feeling of Jay's hands around your throat, the sound of his voice raised in anger, the pain of your body hitting the ground. You try to convince yourself that it was all just a terrible nightmare, but you can't shake the sense of foreboding that follows you everywhere.
You hadn't told anyone about the dreams. You didn't want them to worry, or think that you were losing your mind. But they were so vivid, so real, that it was hard to pretend they were just nightmares. Sometimes, when you were alone in your room, you could almost feel Jay's hands around your throat again, could almost hear his voice raised in anger. It was like he was haunting you, reminding you of what had happened and what could still happen if you didn't stay careful.
Going to school back after all this was a struggle. You felt like everyone was looking at you, judging you. You could feel the weight of their eyes on your back. You couldn't help but wonder if Jay was still out there, watching you too. Sometimes, when you thought you saw him in the hallway, your heart would skip a beat and you'd feel a cold sweat break out on your back.
Your friends were there for you, or at least they tried to be. They made sure you never walked home alone, and they always stayed close by your side. They didn't understand what had happened, and they didn't want to push you. But you could see the worry in their eyes, the fear that maybe this wasn't the end of it.
One day, as you're walking through the hallway, you feel someone tap you on the shoulder. You turn around, expecting it to be one of your friends playing a joke on you. But it's not. It's him. Jay. He looks different - his hair is shorter, he's lost some weight. But it's definitely him. His eyes are cold and hard as he says, "I've been looking for you."
You try to remain calm, but your heart is racing. You can't think of anything to say. "What do you want?" you manage to choke out.
"I-I'm sorry." He says, his voice shaking. "I don't know what came over me that night. I was just so angry…I lost control. I never meant to hurt you that badly." He steps closer, his voice lowering.
Your heart races as he says this. You can feel the fear rising up in your throat, choking you. You want to believe him, but you can't help but remember the way he felt when he had his hands around your throat, the sound of his voice as he screamed at you.
"It doesn't matter," you manage to choke out. "Just leave me alone." You turn away from him, wanting to put some distance between you. But he grabs your arm, his grip gentle.
"Please, I need to talk to you. I can't explain it, but I feel like things have been so messed up since that night. I don't want us to be like this anymore." He looks at you pleadingly, and for a moment, you almost believe him.
You hesitate, your heart racing. You can't help but wonder if this is all some sort of twisted game. But you can't deny the desperation in his eyes, the way he seems to truly regret what happened. "Okay," you say slowly.
He nods, looking relieved. "Thank you," he says, his voice softening. "I don't want things to go back to how they were before."
You take a deep breath, feeling a mix of fear and hope in your chest. "Okay," you say slowly.
He nods, seeming to gain confidence from your agreement. "I just want to say that I'm sorry for what I did," he begins. "I don't know what I was thinking. I've been so lost since my mom has been... not so well and I've been taking it out on everyone around me. I never meant to hurt you."
You listen carefully to him, trying to decide if you believe him or not. A part of you wants to trust him, but another part of you can't help but remember the way he looked in your eyes that night, the way he hurt you. You stay silent, not sure what to say.
"I know it's hard to believe me," he says, "but I swear I'm not the same person I was before. I've been going to therapy, trying to work through my issues. I just want to start over with you." He takes a deep breath, his eyes searching yours for any sign of forgiveness.
You're still not sure what to think. A part of you wants to believe him, wants to trust him again. But another part of you is scared, afraid that if you let your guard down, he'll hurt you again. You decide to give him a chance, "Okay," you say softly. "I'll try."
He seems to relax a little, taking your words as a sign of hope. "Thank you," he whispers, his voice thick with emotion. "I promise I'll never hurt you again. I'll do everything I can to make it up to you."
--
Jay had become a total sweetheart since that night. He was always checking in on you, making sure you were okay, and constantly apologizing for his behavior. He even started including you in his plans with his friends, making an effort to get to know you better. It felt like he was really trying to make things right.
He'd been true to his word, and you found yourself beginning to trust him again. You enjoyed spending time with him, and the more you got to know him, the more you realized that he was a good person deep down. He'd just been going through a rough patch. You forgave him for what happened, and slowly but surely, you began to feel closer to him again.
One day, as you sat together at lunch, you noticed a group of girls from your class glaring at you. "What are they looking at?" you ask Jay, feeling a little self-conscious.
He follows your gaze and frowns. "Probably just jealous," he says with a shrug. "They're just mad because they can't be us." He grins at you, then leans in closer, his voice dropping to a whisper. "You know, you're really special to me. I mean, you're the only person I've ever really cared about. It's like, with you, everything just feels right." His words make your heart flutter, and you can't help but smile back at him.
The bell rings, signaling the end of lunch, and you stand up to gather your things. "Hey," Jay says, taking your hand in his, "do you want to hang out after school? We could go get coffee or something."
You blush, feeling warmth spread through your chest. "Sure," you say, trying to keep your voice steady. "That sounds nice."
After school, you and Jay walk to a local coffee shop, hand in hand. The sun is setting, casting a warm glow over the city as you step inside the cozy little shop. The smell of freshly brewed coffee fills the air, and you can't help but feel relaxed.
You find a table in the back, away from the crowds, and Jay orders you both a drink. As you wait for it to arrive, you can't help but marvel at how different things feel between the two of you now. It's like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders, and you can finally just enjoy being with him.
"So," Jay says, taking a sip of his coffee, "I've been thinking about what we should do for our next date. I was thinking maybe we could go see a movie or go out for dinner. What do you think?"
"Already thinking bout another?" you tease, feeling a blush creep up on your cheeks. "I mean, we just got here." You take a sip of your coffee, savoring the warmth that spreads through your chest. "A movie does sound nice, though. What about that one with the cute animals? You know, the one that's been out for awhile but you haven't seen yet?"
Jay chuckles. "Yeah, that one sounds good. I've been meaning to catch it too. And as for another date, well, I'm just excited to spend more time with you, that's all." He reaches across the table and takes your hand in his again, giving it a squeeze. "You really are something special."
You could feel the butterflies in your stomach return. "Thanks," you manage to say, not quite meeting his eyes. You take another sip of your coffee, savoring the warmth that spreads through your body. It feels good to be wanted, to be loved. You glance around the coffee shop, taking in the people walking by, the sound of coffee being made, the soft murmur of conversation.
"So," you say, trying to change the subject, "what have you been up to lately? Anything interesting?" You want to know everything about him, to know what makes him tick.
"Oh, you know, just the usual. School, work, trying to find time to sleep," Jay says with a laugh. "But I've actually been working on this side project, something just for fun. I'm making a small song for someone." He grins at you, and you can't help but feel a surge of pride.
"Really?" you ask, genuinely excited. "That's so cool. I'd love to hear it sometime."
Jay leans in closer, a mischievous glint in his eye. "You'll have to wait then." He winks, and you feel your stomach flip-flop. "But I promise you won't be disappointed."
The evening passes by in a blur of laughter and conversation. You and Jay find yourselves completely lost in each other's company, hardly noticing the time slipping away. You can't help but squeal and giggle at all the right moments. As you walk out of the café, hand in hand, you feel a sense of contentment wash over you. You've never felt this way before, and it's both exhilarating and terrifying all at once.
You decide to walk around the city for awhile, taking in the sights and sounds. The air is crisp and cool, and the lights of the city twinkle like stars against the night sky. Jay's arm is around your waist, and you can't help but feel safe and protected when he's near.
He dropped you off at your apartment earlier than usual, knowing that you had an early class in the morning. You didn't want him to leave, but he insisted, giving you a soft kiss goodnight. As he drove away, you stood in the doorway, watching his car until it disappeared from sight.
--
It had been a few days since your date with Jay, and you can't help but feel a little antsy. Every time your phone buzzes, you hope it's him. You've texted him a few times, but he always seems to be busy with school or work. You're trying not to be too clingy, but it's hard not to miss him.
He hasn't been coming to school lately, and you're starting to worry. You check your phone obsessively, hoping for a text from him, but there's only silence. You decide to take matters into your own hands and track him down. You had even asked Jungwon about it, but he just shrugged and said that Jay had been pretty secretive about his personal life. So, you send Jay a message, telling him you're thinking about him and hope everything's okay.
It wasn't until you received a call from him that you finally heard his voice again. Your heart skipped a beat as you answered, feeling a rush of relief wash over you. "Hey, what's up?"
You could hear crying on the other end of the line, and your heart sank. "Jay, what's wrong? Are you okay?" you ask, your voice shaking.
He sniffles, and you can almost feel the pain in his voice. "I'm… I'm sorry, I didn't want to worry you. It's just… my mom. She's really sick, and the doctor says…" His voice trails off, and you can tell he's struggling to hold it together.
You're stunned into silence for a moment. You didn't know Jay had a mom. "Oh, Jay… I'm so sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do? Anything you need?" You're sitting on the edge of your bed, clutching the blanket in your hands.
"No, no, it's okay. I just… I don't want to talk about it right now. I just wanted to let you know, so you wouldn't worry. I'm sorry I worried you in the first place." He sniffles again.
You pause, taking a deep breath. "You don't have to apologize. I care about you, and I want to be here for you, okay? Whatever you need, I'm here. Should I come over?"
Jay's voice is still shaky, but there's a hint of relief in it. "No, no, that's… that's really sweet of you, but I don't want you to see me like this. I'm a mess." He sniffles again. "I just wanted you to know. I'll… I'll let you know if there's anything I need, okay?"
Your heart aches for him, and you want nothing more than to be there for him. "Okay, Jay. You know you can call me anytime, right? If you ever need someone to talk to"
He sniffles again, and you can almost picture him wiping his eyes. "Thanks, Yn. You're really sweet. I'll… I'll keep you posted. I gotta go now, okay?"
The call ended, and you're left with a heavy heart. You stare at your phone for a moment, feeling helpless. There was a weird feeling in your stomach, like a mixture of sadness and fear. You knew that Jay was going through a tough time, and you wanted to be there for him. But you also felt selfish, like you wanted him to be there for you too.
You couldn't focus on anything for the rest of the day. You kept thinking about Jay and his mom, wondering if there was anything you could do to help. You knew he'd said he'd keep you posted, but the wait was agonizing.
A few days later, you receive another call from Jay. Your heart leaps into your throat when you see his name on the screen. "Hey, Yn. I'm… I'm really sorry to bother you. I just wanted to let you know… things aren't looking good with my mom. The doctor says her chances of surviving... Aren't much" His voice breaks, and you can hear the pain in his words.
You're stunned into silence, your mind racing with all the things you want to say but can't find the words for. Finally, you manage to croak out, "Oh, Jay… I'm so sorry. I wish there was something I could do. Is there anything I can do? Anything you need?"
Jay sniffles and clears his throat. "C-can you come over?" he stutters. "I-I don't want to be alone right now."
"Of course, Jay. I'm on my way. Just send me your address"
You hang up the phone, feeling a mix of sadness and fear. You quickly find Jay's address and input it into your GPS. As you drive over to his house, your mind races with all the things you could say to comfort him. You know you can't take away his pain, but you want to be there for him in any way you can.
When you arrive at his house, you park your car and hurry to the front door. Jay answers it after a few moments, his eyes red and puffy. He doesn't say anything, just stands there, looking lost. You reach out and hug him, feeling his body shake with sobs as he clings to you. You let him cry for a moment, just holding him and rubbing his back.
As you enter the living room. You see it's dimly lit, and there's an overwhelming smell of medication in the air. You sit down next to him on the couch, and he leans into you, still crying. You don't know what to say, so you just hold him and let him cry. After a while, he pulls away and wipes his eyes with the back of his hand.
"I-I'm sorry, Yn. I didn't mean to… I just… I don't know what to do," he stammers. You pat his knee and hand him a tissue.
"Hey, it's okay. You don't have to be strong right now. You can cry. And you know, I'm here for you. We'll figure this out together, okay?" You say, trying to sound more confident than you feel.
Jay sniffles and nods, wiping his face with the tissue. "Thanks… I just don't want her to be alone. I can't even imagine…" His voice trails off, and he looks away, staring blankly at a photo of his mom on the coffee table.
You take his hand in yours, squeezing it gently. "You know, Jay, she's not alone. You're there with her, and I'm here with you. We'll get through this together, okay?" You look into his eyes, hoping that he can see the sincerity in yours.
He nods, sniffling, and wipes his nose again. "I-I just don't want her to suffer, you know? The doctor says there's not much more they can do, and I-I can't bear the thought of her being in pain."
"I feel so useless" Jay whispers, shaking his head. "She's the strongest person I know, and I can't do anything to help her." You squeeze his hand and lean in closer, resting your head on his shoulder. "Jay, she knows you're here for her. She knows how much you love her, and how much you're hurting right now. That means more to her than anything. Just being with her, holding her hand, talking to her, listening to her… that's all she needs right now."
"B-but-" Jay starts to protest, but you shush him by placing your lips on his. The kiss is gentle at first, a soft brush of lips against lips, but it grows more intense as he responds. Jay's hands move from your sides to your face, holding you to him. You can feel the raw emotion radiating from him, and it only serves to heighten the connection between you.
As the kiss ends, you pull back slightly, gazing into his eyes. "She knows, Jay. She knows that you're here for her, and that you love her more than anything. Just be there for her, okay? That's all she needs right now." You reach up and wipe a tear from his cheek, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath your fingertips.
"And," you say, taking a deep breath, "I care about you, Jay. I care about your mom, too. You're not alone. This probably isn't the best time for this but, I love you Jay." You look into his eyes, trying to convey all of this with your gaze.
He seems to register this, his eyes widening slightly, before he blinks and a small smile tugs at the corners of his mouth. "I love you too, Yn." Then he takes your hand, kissing the back of your palm. "Thank you."
--
Months pass by, and Jay's mother's condition gets better. You're there for him every step of the way, holding his hand, listening to his fears, and sharing your own strength with him. There are good days and bad days, but you find comfort in knowing that Jay has someone who truly cares about him, someone who will never leave his side.
One afternoon, as you're watching a movie together on the couch, Jay leans in close, his lips brushing against yours. You melt into the kiss, feeling the warmth of his body and the desperation in his embrace. It's a passionate, intense kiss, and it's clear that Jay has been wanting this for a long time.
It felt so perfect to be in Jay's arms again. The weight of his body pressed against yours, his lips moving against yours, their warmth spreading through you. You moan into the kiss, your fingers tangled in his hair as he pulls you even closer. You can feel his heart racing against yours, the thudding of it in your chest matching the rhythm of your own. His hands slide up your sides, cupping your breasts over your shirt, and you gasp into his mouth as desire surges through you.
He pulls back just enough to look into your eyes, his own glassy with desire. "I want you," he whispers, his voice husky and raw. "I've wanted you for so long." He kisses you again, more urgently this time, as his hands move to unbutton your shirt. You help him, eager to feel his skin against yours once more.
As soon as your shirt is off, he groans, his lips moving down your neck, sucking and nipping at your skin. His hands find their way up your sides, under your bra, cupping your breasts over your lace-covered nipples. You gasp as his touch ignites a fire in your chest. You reach for the hem of his shirt, tugging it up and off, revealing his smooth, toned chest.
Jay leans in closer, their bodies flush against each other. His lips meet yours once more, his tongue darting out to tease and explore your mouth. His hands slide up your sides, around your waist, and down to your hips, lifting you up slightly so that you're straddling his lap. He groans into the kiss, feeling the heat between your legs pressed against his hard length.
You arch your back, pressing your breasts against his chest as he rolls his hips, grinding his erection against you. His hands cup your ass, squeezing and kneading the soft flesh, urging you to move against him. You moan into the kiss, feeling the familiar ache begin to build inside you.
He breaks the kiss, his lips trailing down your neck and across your collarbone. His teeth scrape against your skin, sending shivers of pleasure coursing through your body. His fingers slide between you, parting your wet folds, and teasing your sensitive bundle of nerves. You cry out as he smiles against your skin.
You rock your hips against his hand, feeling the need building inside you, growing more insistent with each passing moment. "I need you so b-bad" your voice breathless and desperate. Jay groans, his fingers moving faster, stroking you in a rhythm that matches the ache in your core.
His other hand slips under your bra, cupping your breast over your nipple. You cry out, arching your back as he rolls the hardened peak between his thumb and forefinger. His lips find your neck again, sucking and nipping at your skin as he thrusts his hips, pushing his erection deeper against you.
You feel the familiar tugging sensation deep inside you, and with a groan, you begin to climax, your body tensing and convulsing around him. Jay holds you tightly, his fingers still moving as he brings you to the peak of pleasure again and again. He kisses you passionately, their tongues tangling together as your cries of pleasure echo around the room.
His hips begin to move faster, harder, matching the rhythm of your climaxes. You feel him get closer and closer, and with a hoarse cry, he thrusts deeply inside you, his body tense and shuddering as he releases himself, filling you completely. His grip on you tightens, and you can feel his weight pressing you into the bed as he comes down from the high of their shared passion.
You both catch your breath, your chests rising and falling in unison. Jay leans in, pressing a soft kiss to your lips before moving lower, trailing kisses along your jaw and down your neck. "You're incredible," he whispers, his voice husky and raw. .
As you both begin to catch your breath, Jay slides out of you, taking his weight off and moving up to lie beside you. He gently rolls you onto your side, spooning you from behind. His arm is draped over your waist, his hand resting on your hip, while the other cups your breast over your still-hardened nipple. You feel his erection pressed against your back, and you can't help but arch your hips slightly into him.
He kisses your neck, his lips trailing down to your shoulder. "I could do this all day," he whispers, his breath hot against your skin. "Just feel you wrapped around me like this."
You let out a soft moan "Me too," you reply, your voice husky with desire. "I could stay like this forever."
--
You were giggling as you clutched the blindfold, "Babe~" you whined playfully, you felt his chuckle rumble through his chest, and then his lips pressed into your neck, just below your ear.
"Do you wanna hear my song now?" He asked, his lips moving against your skin. "I've been practicing it all day." You could feel him smile against your neck. He opened your blind fold and placed you onto the couch as he lifted his guitar.
His fingers danced over the strings, the sound filling the room.
"In the realm of love and devotion,
Where hearts entwine in sweet emotion,
I stand before you, my love so true,
With words of hope and promise anew.
Upon a hill, beneath the stars above,
I declare my intentions, my undying love,
To spend forever by your side,
As partners in life, on love's sweet ride.
I bring to you a ring of gold,
A symbol of the love we hold,
A promise made, a vow so true,
To cherish and honor, to always be true.
With each step taken, our love does grow,
A bond that only lovers know,
Through joy and tears, through thick and thin,
Together we'll face life's battles and win.
I vow to be your rock, your guiding light,
To hold you close on every night,
To be your shelter in life's storm,
To keep you safe, to keep you warm.
Our love will be a beacon bright,
A shining star in the darkest night,
Guiding us through life's twists and turns,
With a flame that forever burns.
So will you, my love, be my partner for life,
To stand by my side as husband and wife,
To share in each other's triumphs and tears,
To love and cherish through all the years?
With this ring, I make my plea,
To spend forever in love with thee,
To be your partner, your best friend,
Until the very end.
So let us vow, on this day,
To love and cherish, come what may,
To walk hand in hand, through life's great dance,
With love and devotion, in sweet romance.
And as we stand, hearts beating as one,
Our journey together has just begun,
With love as our guide, we'll soar above,
In the epic tale of our eternal love."
As the last note of the song faded into the air, you felt tears well up in your eyes. Jay had written this song just for you, and it was absolutely beautiful. You could feel the emotion behind every word, and it made your heart swell with love and gratitude.
He set his guitar aside and moved back to spoon you from behind. His hands found their way to your waist, holding you close as he pressed a gentle kiss to your shoulder blade. "So," he began, his voice quiet but steady, "Will you be my partner, my love, my wife?"
Tears streamed down your face as you turned your head to look at him. "Yes," you whispered, "Yes, Jay, I will." You felt your heart swell with love and happiness, and you wrapped your arms around him, holding him tight. "I love you so much, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you."
He smiled at you, his eyes shining with tears of his own. "I love you too, Ynnie. I promise to always cherish you, to protect you, and to make you the happiest woman in the world." He kissed you softly on the lips, his tongue tracing the outline of your mouth before slipping inside.
The kiss deepened, and time seemed to stand still as you were lost in the feeling of being close to him. You could feel his heart racing against yours, and it only served to remind you of how perfectly you fit together.
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dotster001 · 4 months
Text
When You Escape Him; Diasomnia
Summary: Yandere Diasomnia x gn!reader. He adopts a child that looks like the two of you. You run to give you both a chance at life. You never expected him to find you.
A/N: so, turns out the burnout was actually sleep deprivation. Who knew!
Heartslaybul Savannaclaw Octavinelle Scarabia Pomefiore Ignihyde Non NRC Staff
CW: major spoiler under the cut, but it does need a content warning, so if you want to see it, it's there, if not, skip straight to Mal's picture. yandere stuff, capture, forced sleep, implied past forced sleep, threats to innocents, Lilia is a shit in 3/4 of these,blood, implied previous injury, implied minor character death
Spoiler Content Warning: reader dies in Sebek 's part.
Three years into your relationship, he had come home and placed a baby in your arms.
"They were left in a box, all alone. And, well, he looks like if the two of us had a child," he sheepishly stared at the ground. "I just, I just figured it must be a gift from the seven."
You knew what he was trying to do. He was trying to tie himself to you through this boy. He looked just like him, and you were disgusted and scared.
Until he opened his eyes for the first time, and you found yourself staring into your own.
And you knew. You had to give this child the opportunity for a better life. A life without him.
In the end, your son did the opposite of what he had intended. And the first moment you could, the two of you had escaped.
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Malleus had done something. Something unnatural. You'd at first kind of believed him. But the horns had started growing in on your son. This was your and Malleus' biological child. As unnatural and impossible as it was, you had no doubt.
The woman who ran the safe house had told you to put him up for adoption. She'd smiled sympathetically, but she told you in no uncertain terms that this child would damn everyone there. So either the child had to go, or you'd both have to go. She gave you until the next morning to leave. She'd send you with food and money, but you couldn't stay there. 
But an hour later, as your son had summoned a storm with his crying, she had knocked on your door and told you she couldn't give you until the next day anymore. It just wasn't safe. And you understood, so you quickly began to pack, hastily hushing your infant son, who seemed in no hurry to stop crying.
You froze as you heard a boom. Not a boom from the storm your son had summoned. But a boom you recognized. 
You heard screams in the safe house as vines crawled up the outer walls and windows. You looked at the sad little boy that you'd tried to save from a life in a cold palace, with a possessive and jealous father. You shouldn't have even made it this far. But that's exactly why you thought….
It didn't matter now.
You picked him up, and ran out of your room, straight out the door and into the rain.
“Malleus! Enough!” You shouted. “I'll go with you! Just leave them alone!”
Before you stood a huge dragon, surrounded by his army. But as the dragon looked down at you, its eyes softened, and he began to shrink back into the man you married.
He smiled wildly, extending his arms wide.
“Beloved,” he purred, momentarily forgetting his anger as relief filled him.
You walked slowly through the mud, ignoring the cold that seeped in your bones from the excessive rain caused by two separate storms. You took a shuddering breath and stepped into his embrace, fighting off a shiver of a different kind as his arms wrapped around you and your son.
“Don't hurt them. They're all just innocent people who need someplace to stay,” you whispered in his ear.
He pressed his lips to your ears, continuing to purr, as he said, “They tried to hide their king's spouse from him. They must face some sort of punishment.”
“Mal,” you said firmly, gently pulling far enough back that you could look in his eyes. “They weren't hiding me. They were about to tell you where I was.”
A lie. But the only way to keep the people in that building safe.
“I shall spare them then,” he hummed. 
The change was instant. A flicker in his eyes that only you knew well enough to pick up on.
“Lilia, please escort my son home,” he ordered, his eyes not leaving yours as you felt the boy wrenched from your arms. Immediately, Malleus' grip shifted to your arm, and he dragged you along with him, straight into a glowing green portal…
Which led to a tower you recognized.
“Wait, no, no, I'm sorry-”
“If I don't punish you, how will you ever learn?” He waved his staff, summoning a stone table.
“Mal, please, our son-”
“You don't love him, but this will teach you to.”
“I do so love him!”
“Then you wouldn't have broken his family,” he said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.
There was nowhere to run in the windowless tower, but you knew what came next. So you tried to yank yourself out of his grip, even if it was fruitless.
“What if he doesn't live another hundred years?” You cried as he wrestled you onto the table.
“He will. He has his father's blood.”
At least he admitted it. 
His hand covered your eyes, a green glow beginning to fill your vision.
“He won't remember me,” you pleaded as your body began to grow numb.
“I'll ensure he does.”
You drifted off, falling into dreams designed to “open your heart.” Dreams where the three of you lived happily.
After another hundred years of that, surely you'd become the well behaved spouse he needed. And if not, he had a hundred more years to spend on you. And one day? One day his perfect family would be a reality.
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You were elbows deep in another explosion your son had caused through his “science experiments” when you heard a knock on the door.
You blew a hair out of your face, before turning to your son.
“Can you get that, baby?” 
He nodded quickly, happy to do anything to lower his punishment. You dug through some more goo (you didn't want to know what exactly he made) and finally found the bathtub drain. You pulled the plug and…
Nothing.
You groaned. Guess you had to clean it the hard way. Again.
You heard excited noises from the front door, and smiled softly. Your son's partner was prone to making surprise visits, so you figured he was telling them all about his latest explosion. Young love was cute. You hoped it stayed that way.
You pulled your goo covered arms out of the bathtub, and pulled over the bucket that had seen horrors. You began scooping handfuls into it, hoping that less goo would force the drain to go down, when your son came back to the door, looking ecstatic.
“Hey, um, there's someone here to see you.”
You smirked, and said, “Well, as you can see I'm a little busy. Tell them to wait.”
He shook his head vehemently.
“Uh uh, you gotta come see them now.”
The way he was bouncing up and down, it must have been Uncle Epel. He was the favorite Uncle, mainly because he always brought treats with him.
“Well, tell him if he wants to chat, he has to help me clean-”
No sooner had the words left your mouth when some familiar pink magic flew over your shoulder, and made the goo in the bath dissipate. You froze in your place, too scared to look.
“Easy peasy. Luckily I've had a lot of experience with kid's messes, fu fu.”
You were a coward, who was too scared to face fate. As though refusing to face it would mean it would never come up behind you, and wrap his arms around you, affectionately nuzzling your neck.
“How was your vacation?” Lilia hummed.
“That's my dad!” Your son interrupted, excitedly. “It all makes sense now! Why I look fae, why I'm so skilled at magic, why I have a hard time connecting with my peers…”
If Lilia was anyone else, you'd quickly explain it didn't make sense, it was just a sick coincidence. But with him wrapped around you like a python…
You weren't in a position to be dealing with broken ribs, again.
“Not only that, but you have a big brother!” Lilia said happily.
“I do!”
“He's probably downstairs waiting for you! Let's go!”
You couldn't blame your son for falling for Lilia's charms. You'd also made that mistake many years ago. Lilia excitedly took your hand, floating down the stairs while dragging you, your son behind you.
At the bottom of the steps was Silver, who was looking anywhere but at you. Lilia summoned a portal, and you were quickly pulled through it, followed by the two boys.
Your son stared in awe at the mansion that haunted your nightmares.
“We get to live here now?”
“Yes! I have a room all for you, Silver will show you the way, then he'll take you to get a new wardrobe.”
Your son took the stairs two at a time, then paused to look back at you, confused.
“Why haven't we been a family the entire time?”
You stiffened again, but Lilia was a wonderful actor.
“You see, your father is fae and loses track of time. I was supposed to come pick you up. I only just realized how much time passed. I'm so sorry.”
He turned to you, he laced his fingers through your hair, kissing you passionately. He pulled slightly away, whispering,
“Forgive me?”
In an attempt to ease whatever punishment was coming your way, you slowly nodded. You son beamed happily, then looked at you both.
“This is the best day ever! I can't wait to tell my partner!” He pulled out his phone, immediately beginning the call as he continued up the stairs.
“Well? Was that enough of a vacation for you?” Lilia asked coldly.
“How long-”
“Sevens, I knew where you were the whole time. Quite frankly, I'm insulted that you felt otherwise.”
He sounded genuinely insulted. Fuck.
“So…” you trailed off.
“I haven't decided what to do with you yet. You know how important you and my family are to me, yet you ran from me, and stole our son.” He grabbed you by the hair, forcing you to look into his eyes.
“But rest assured, if this happens again, I'll come up with a punishment that leans more…irreversible.”
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“Y/N?” 
Fuck. You knew that soft voice. It had a slight tremble of disbelief and shock, so you weren't surprised when you felt a hand gently take your chin, and direct it to a pair of gorgeous auroral hues.
You had thought enough time would pass that you would be unfindable. So here you were, at a cafe with your teenage son, thinking you were safe. What a joke.
“Y/N, where have you been? I missed you.” 
You believed him. God, you wish you didn't, but you did. The problem with Silver was that he never knew what he did wrong. He didn't understand. To him, you just vanished one day, for no reason.
“Oh-” you started, but your son interrupted you.
“Hey, back off,” he said firmly, grabbing his table knife as though that would defend against Silver's sword fighting skills.
Or Lilia's anything, for that matter, as you realized he stood behind his son with a scary look in his eyes. A look you had experience with. A look that said, behave.
“S/N, don't,” you whispered, not daring to pull away from Silver.
“I'm not going to let him take you!” He stood from his seat, causing Silver's eyes to flicker over to him, and grow soft with fondness.
“You're all grown up!”
“Back off-”
“That's enough of that. I appreciate your loyalty, but it would be better suited elsewhere,” Lilia finally spoke, disarming your boy.
“Let go of me-”
“Father, please don't-”
“It's alright, Silver. I've raised two boys, I know how to handle a tantrum,” Lilia said lightly, pinning your son's arms to his sides. “As for you, young man, that's no way to speak to your father, or your grandfather.”
“We're not even related!” He shouted, and it was only then you realized the cafe was empty. They had planned this. Or, more accurately, Lilia had planned this, and probably surprised Silver.
“Enough. I'm putting you in timeout.”
He summoned a portal, and dragged your son towards it.
He turned back towards Silver with a firm look on his face, “Silver. Remember what I taught you.” And then he walked through the portal.
Silver held out a hand for you, and you swallowed your bile as you took it. You walked through the portal together, and found yourself in Silver’s room in the Castle in the Valley of Thorns.
He released your hand, dissipated the portal, and went to lock the door. You took the opportunity to sit on the bed.
Silver sighed as he stared at the floor.
“Father says that if I want to keep you in my life, I have to be more firm.”
He looked back up at you, something new swimming in his eyes. Something that frightened you.
“I don't want to hurt you. But today, seeing you for the first time in so long, I realized he was right.”
The frightening look wavered for a moment, as he said, “Why did you make my son hate me? Do you not think I'd be a good father?”
You sighed, remembering how easy it was to fall prey to Silver's everything. “If it were just you I had to worry about, I know you'd be a great father.”
“Then why…” the look cemented back into frightening again, and he stood stiffly, like a general deciding whether to spare an enemy soldier.
“I've given you a good life, a husband, and a family, but you are taking it for granted. You need to learn to appreciate what you have.”
That was all Lilia. Maybe if you had run away with Silver, you might have saved the last embers of your love for him. But then you might also be killed.
“I have arranged a cell in the dungeon for you. It's comfortable, but isolated. You will stay there until you learn your place.”
You fought to escape his grip as he dragged you down the stairs, pleading with him to see reason. But it was too late, and when the door was latched behind you, you couldn't help but wish you'd thought to try things differently.
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You couldn't imagine how it took so long for him to find you. But as you and your son ran in the night, you wished it had been longer.
Ten minutes prior, you'd gotten a call from a wheezing voice you almost didn't recognize.
“Sebek…he…he's coming.”
“Lilia? What are you talking about? Where did you get my number?”
You heard a hard cough, followed by a tired laugh. “Who did you think was your fairy godmother? Run Y/N.”
The call hung up, and you grabbed a bag to start packing, only to hear a loud bang as your front door splintered. Your son had wanted to fight him off, but bless his heart he'd never win. So you'd both escaped out a window and ran.
You knew he was much too fast for you, but your son was fae as well, so he had a chance of getting away. And if you could just wear Sebek out…
You screamed out in pain as you felt something pierce you from behind.
You collapsed to your knees, staring down at the sword poking through your chest.
“No!” Your son screamed, and you choked back the pain long enough to say, “keep running!”
He looked at you regretfully, then angrily stared at something over your shoulder.
“I'll kill you!” He shouted, before running off, and disappearing down an alley.
You swayed from the position on your knees, your vision growing spotty. You turned over your shoulder, vaguely aware of a green haired man staring at you in shock.
Oh. That was Sebek! You had a date today, right? You didn't feel so good though, so maybe you should tell him you had to cancel.
“I… I didn't mean to,” he cried shakily, tears beginning to roll down his cheeks. You collapsed again, this time not having the strength to get off your side. He knelt next to you, and felt a sharp pain from something pulling. He laid you on your back, and pressed his hands to your chest, muttering something you couldn't quite hear. His voice sounded like water, moving in and out of your ears.
“Y/N…..don…please…I”
You nodded like you understood. 
His hands came to cup your face. It must be raining, because his hands were all wet. You'd have to make sure Grim remembered to grab an umbrella before class.
You slowly lifted your hand to cup Sebek 's hands that were clutching your face. His cheeks were covered in raindrops, and he seemed to be trying to tell you something important. But you were so tired, it was hard to keep your eyes open.
You had a final moment of clarity, where you stared at Sebek 's broken face, and felt momentary pity for him. But maybe this would teach him something that he would never forget over the course of his long life.
And you thought of your wonderful son escaping this creature, and the black finally completely took your vision.
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bakugosatoru · 6 months
Text
My Hero Academia Boys in Bed
Male Characters
Requests Open!
Warnings: Explicit (Minors don't interact) Genre: Smut Fic Type: Headcannons Fandom: My Hero Academia
Authors Note: I am MORE than happy to write these for other characters so please send requests on who you want to see! I'm trying to write a longer Hawks x Dabi smut fanfiction but its not coming together like I wanted so this is my way to at least share something so I don't loose my mind!
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Izuku
If he's the dominant one:
- All he cares about is your pleasure - Prefers positions where he can see your face as he loves peppering it with kisses while he thrusts deep inside of you. - Foreplay, foreplay, foreplay - If he gets the time, he will tease you for hours. - All he wants is to get you whining his name. - The aftercare is next level, baths, snacks, movies, you name it, he's got it ready. - "That's it baby, you take me so well, so good for me."
If your the dominant one:
- Whining - Wants more than anything to be a good boy for you. - The biggest praise kink in the universe. - Loves to cry and beg while you make him feel good. - Gets overstimulated so easily but loves it. - Afterwards all he wants is cuddles and to be told he did a good job. - "Fuck baby, it feels so good... you make me feel so good. Wanna be your toy, be so good for you"
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Bakugo
If he's the dominant one:
- He is BIG - The first time you slept together, he was barely able to get it all the way in. - That doesn't stop him from fucking you into the mattress though. - Hard Dom, but massive on communication, so you bet all your kinks are talked out before AND after. - Favorite position is Doggy, he loves to see the moment your arms give out and you fall face first into the mattress so he can fuck you even harder. - Loves to see you cry in pleasure. - He loves wiping your tears as he roughly fucks you, knowing he's the only one who gets to see you like this. - "Does it feel that good baby? Feel how fucking deep I am? You can take it, I know you can"
If your the dominant one:
- The biggest brat in the universe. - Loves to rile you up until your forced to pin him to the bed and put him in his place. - He is LOUD - Loud as in 'Shove his face in a pillow to muffle his moans or you'll wake the whole dorm' loud. - Will never admit it but loves to be edged. Being pushed to the edge of cumming over and over and having to beg to finally cum. - Loves it when you tie his arms behind his back so he's fully at your mercy. - "Baby fuck- please. It hurts please can I cum, i'll be good, i'll be so good please."
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Todoroki
If he's the dominant one:
- Rope bondage fiend - Loves NOTHING more than having you tied up for him. - Will spend hours, weaving intricate harnesses and suspension set up for you. - While he does that he is the softest, most doting boyfriend in the world, making sure none of the ropes are too tight and that your comfortable - But after he's finished? He goes feral - Fucks you so roughly, sometime you can barely walk the next day. - Leaves bruises on your hips from gripping so hard and litters your neck in hickeys. - "You look so good tied up for me honey, just made for me. You were made for me..."
If your the dominant one:
- Just wants to leave everything in your hands - Is willing to try anything you think he might enjoy, he loves nothing more than to be totally at your mercy - For such a quiet person, he babbles mindlessly when your in control - All he wants to do is cry your name and tell you how amazing it feels. - You gagged him once, but you missed his pleading so much you quickly decided you preferred to hear his voice. - "Oh my god angel you feel amazing, I love you, I love you, it feels so good please don't stop. Don't stop"
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Denki
If he's the dominant one:
- I don't even know if we can call him dominant - This man does not fuck, he makes love and nothing else. - All he wants is to hold you tightly while he fucks into you. - Missionary with him is the most loved you've ever felt, his arms around you, him whispering in your ear how much he loves you while he slowly thrusts himself deep into you. - But don't get me wrong, he will go rough if you ask him too. - He loves to make you ride him, before grabbing your hips and thrusting up into you until you collapse onto his chest. - "God your so beautiful, i want to stay inside you forever. You feel like heaven baby."
If your the dominant one:
- Just wants to be pegged - Seriously, you want to make him happy? Let him ride your strap on while telling him how good of a boy he is. - He wont actually short-circuit but god will it look like it. - His eyes glazed over as he whines helplessly, desperate to cum. - You usually end up taking pity on him and flip him so he's under you so you can fuck him until he finally cums. - "Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me please baby, need to cum so bad, wanna cum for you. Please?"
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Kirishima
If he's the dominant one:
- The biggest out of all the guys. - Took you three separate attempts to get it all inside and it felt like it was splitting you open. - Kiri held you and kissed your forehead as you adjusted to him. - "Shh, I know honey, just relax, i'll go slow I promise" - When he finally got it all in, he was gentle, making sure to check in as he slowly fucked you, rearranging your organs in the process. - He kissed away your tears and helped you get used to the stretch. When you finally got used to it and gave him the okay, he started to fuck you slowly and hard. - He will not cum unless you have cum at least twice before him. - He will also happily go down on you for as long as you like to help you relax or just prepare for his size. - "How the fuck are you so tight angel, god your squeezing the life outta me"
If your the dominant one:
- Loves to be tied up - Will absolutely loose his mind if you tie him up and just slowly ride him - He loves begging to touch you, or for you to touch him. - Always wants to be holding you, so if you want to punish him, just don't let him and he will melt in your hands. - "Please baby, I just want to touch you, please... fuck you feel so good"
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Hawks
If he's the dominant one:
- If you dont end up quivering from overstimulation by the end of it, he wont be satisfied. - He loves to use his wings in the bedroom. Whether his feathers are ghosting over your skin or holding you down, he knows exactly how to use them. - He always want you to sit on his face, he loves to squeeze your hips as you whimper and rock back and forth, riding his mouth. - The best at dirty talk, this man is loud in the bedroom, moaning in your ear, telling you how good you are for him. He can't help it. - Another big fan of missionary, loves to cup your face as he thrusts into you, whispering about how amazing you feel. - "Fuck baby, this pussy was just made for me huh? You like how I feel inside you?"
If your the dominant one:
- After a long day of having to be a confident, powerful hero; all he wants is to be taken care of by you. - He will happily sit, his hands cuffed to the headboard as you slowly ride him to make him feel good. - A slut for overstimulation. Make him cum until he cries and he'll be like putty in your hands. - Wants nothing more than for you to take him apart, break him down to the bone, and put him back together again. - "Fuck baby its so much, I don't think I can cum again, god you feel so good around me... shit-"
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pascaloverx · 5 months
Text
OUR SECRET — MYG
chapter one
Summary: You and Yoongi are having an affair. No, you are not being his lover. But the world is not ready to know that an idol is dating someone. So you two were doing your best to make sure no one found out. Until he breaks up with you. His mistake.
Author's note: This fanfic will contain inappropriate language and intimate moments between some characters. Be warned. I will let you know if anything becomes inappropriate. Please enjoy this Yoongi fanfic.
AO3LINK NEXT
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"You're in denial, you could just say you didn't want me anymore. But you prefer to pretend that..." You throw his favorite book out the window like it means nothing. 'Cause now it doesn't mean.
"You can't blame me, our romance should have ended a long time ago. But you and I..." Yoongi seems almost too serious saying this. Do you mean nothing to him?
"You and me what?" You respond from the balcony of your apartment. Luckily your neighbors aren't too curious to know why you're yelling at your ex-lover.
"You know I can't shout that here, some fans might be here." Poor little thing, at that moment you wonder where the brave man is who asked you to embark on this relationship even though you knew your worlds would never be the same.
"I thought the whole point of paying a lot of money to live in an apartment far from the big city and known for its discretion would be being able to yell at you at two in the morning." You don't care if he thinks he's going to leave you without anything more or less, and that you're going to come out of this situation smiling, he should have found someone else to have sex with.
"If you would let me come up, we could talk like adults." He speaks subtly with an impressive poker face. If he stops being a musician, perhaps he could try a career as an actor or a gambler.
"Like adults? I'll be waiting for the other adult to arrive." You say throwing some clothes that are in your apartment that belong to him.
"Like you're being mature about all this. Damn!" One of his belongings ends up breaking near his feet. In fright he lets out several swear words, you luckily end up laughing.
"You break up with me over the phone and I have to be mature. I gave up part of my freedom to be yours. And look what I get in return." Anger took over you initially but now all you can do is try to keep from crying.
"Y/N. Let me in, so we can talk. I can see you almost crying from here." You smile lightly as you feel tears fall down your cheek. What a humiliation.
"If you cared about me you would have had the decency to say that you wanted to finish it the last time you were here." His cowardice can only be explained by his fear of having to do this in person.
"I couldn't. I didn't..." That was exactly what was left of the two of you. An awkward silence and resentment.
"Do you know how frustrating it is not being able to curse your name or tell someone you broke my heart?" You say that sobbing. What a tragedy it is that has made you sentimental now.
"Just because we don't work anymore doesn't mean I don't love you." You look at him and for a moment you feel more sorry for him than for yourself.
"If this is how you love someone. I'm sorry to inform you that you don't know love." Ironically it makes you smile. Maybe this is all his fault, not yours.
"Love..." It's very painful to see the man you've been involved with for the last year, call you that and not be able to respond.
"I'll send the rest of your things to the company. Don't worry, I won't expose you any more than I already have. Now get out of here, you and your fake love." Using one of his songs as the grand finale was a majestic act. Crying yourself to sleep, unfortunately, is not so majestic.
Two Months Later...
"You were the only person I thought would understand my situation. Try not to judge me but I need an opinion." You say looking Namjoon in the eyes. You got really close to him during your secret relationship with Yoongi.
"Is it too big a secret?" He asks entering his new home. A home where you swore you would start over.
"You tell me..." You say, opening your coat and revealing your stomach.
"Did you call me here because you gained weight after the breakup or do you have worms?" Namjoon asks and you smile nervously. Until you shake your head denying.
"Let's say the weight gain is due to something prior to the breakup..." You try not to say the word. Maybe the situation will go away if you don't name it.
"You are pregnant?" He named his current situation. Now it means it's really happening.
"Surprise!" You say trying to liven up the situation but you know you're fucked. Namjoon seems really surprised. As soon as he assimilates the information, he hugs you. You knew you could lean on the friendship you two have.
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strangersmunsons · 3 months
Text
💖 Eddie Munson x Reader Fic Recs 💖
I just wanna show some appreciation for a few of my all-time favorite Eddie fics! Here’s a handful of the series & oneshots that have really stuck out to me in all the time I've been reading - there's A TON of great writers on here who have posted really stellar work :^)
List under the cut!
june baby by @luveline - luveline jade u are a celebrity to me. this was the first Eddie story I ever read and it is so beautiful. it's tender. it's melancholy. it's realistic. it's gorgeous. it honestly makes me feel something I've never felt reading any other fanfiction.
oh, baby by @inknopewetrust - another one of my first Eddie fics! the feeling that this series invoked in me is what I aspire to invoke in others for my own writing someday. it's just so sweet and funny and made me nostalgic, in the same way that watching '80s teen films do, except it's even better because Eddie is in this one. I wanted so badly to just dive into the story and really experience it for myself.
hoping I'll find [a glimpse of us] by @inknopewetrust - this smashed my heart into 1000 pieces, and then promptly glued it very sloppily back together and I've reread it like six times just to reinflict the pain. I love rockstar!Eddie stories that maintain some realism about what that type of relationship would look like, and this fic does that SO perfectly. masterclass in angst right here.
dancing with myself by @ambrossart - this one hits close to home! and even though it hurts along the way, there's a happy ending that it builds so nicely towards! it's beautifully paced & the reader is very funny. you can just tell that the her backstory & relationship w/ Eddie was so carefully thought out, it really feels like this was written with so much love! and I LOVE that it doesn't paint Chrissy as a villain.
10 things I hate about you by @spideyanakin - so glad that we all collectively agree that Patrick is Eddie-coded. and in this fic the parallels are there, without Eddie sacrificing his own unique character - that part is handled really beautifully! and the ST characters are worked into the original movie's narrative so well. it's the perfect mix of fluff and drama!
freaky friday by @jo-harrington - I adore this series! I love this version of Eddie so much I could cry, he is so sweet and selfless, I want to give him the entire world. and an Eddie & Steve body swap? 10/10. lindsay and jamie lee, eat your hearts out.
to know you're mine by @blueywrites - oooohboy. I almost didn’t read this one (just because I would normally avoid swinging/cheating in a fic) but I'm so glad I did, because it was like being on the homer's odyssey of 18+ ST fanfiction. it’s wild. bluey girl u were insane for this. and i mean that as an extremely high compliment. i was so damn invested!
i will wait by @abibliophobiaa, @blueywrites, @breddiemunson, @myosotisa, @fracturedarkness - there's three chapters, it's on hiatus, I don't care, I will literally keep reading these three chapters over and over again and just fill in the blanks myself if I must. it's that good. you guys are amazing. I am totally enthralled.
rumor by @msgexymunson - this is what turned me on to older!Eddie. I love him, and I desire him carnally, and specifically this version of him. when I daydream about Eddie sweeping me off my feet, I think about Eddie in this series. he's everything to me. I even wrote my own older neighbor Eddie fic because of this!
trapped under ice by @munson-blurbs - the iron grip this fic had me in...I'm still going back and re-reading my favorite parts. it's beautifully developed. this version of Eddie is so real and believable. Harris is my favorite kid he's ever been given. an all-time, truly, I can't sing its praises enough.
siren!eddie by @parkermunson - a monster-ish Eddie fic! I'm a sucker for anything that incorporates mermaids and sirens and the like, so I really love this concept. it's a great story, I love our protective, doting fishboy, and hope to see more of him!
use me by @reysorigins - simultaneously the nastiest and sweetest fic ever. smut, but it's interspersed with these moments of such deep-seated love and yearning between Eddie and the reader that it made me want to cry! incredible piece.
mine and yours by @muertawrites - ahhhh this one is so so sweet! dating is so fucking hard, I think we could all use a comforting, reassuring moment with a sweetheart like Eddie, who is especially kind to us in this fic. I love the way he’s written here.
our patron saint of the arts by @storiesbyrhi - I love an artsy, crafty reader! I feel like Eddie would be sooo into someone who’s creatively-minded like him. this is the dream relationship, basically, these two are adorable together! (and Eddie in a dress! 😗)
And this is just a sample of what’s out there! Some of these are fics that I read very early on, even before I started this blog. I was more shy then, too, so I feel like I never showed them the appreciation I should have! You guys are all so talented, these works are very inspiring to me.
To readers: I encourage you to let the writers know how much you enjoy their work! Reblog! Leave a comment, even if it’s just in the tags! Write a reply, or send them a message, even if it’s on anon! I’m trying to get better at doing these things myself, too 💖
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flashbangstars · 4 months
Text
How People Found out you two were dating
NCT Dream Edition
pink ~ y/n
Blue ~ dream
Green ~ secondary character/another dreamie
Mark
"so um Jeno found out about us dating"
"oh, I thought we were waiting until game night to tell them"
"well yeah uh funny story, I tried to put my sweatshirt on at Jeno's house and your hot pink thong fell out of the sleeve onto his carpet."
"I WAS WONDERING WHERE THAT WENT"
"Yeah I know me too, besides that. Jeno got mad and lectured me on not leading you on if I had other girls I was doing stuff with, so I uh.."
"you told Jeno the hot pink thong was mine"
"yeah basically"
"and I have to face him on friday knowing he's seen my panties"
"to be fair he did say they were cute"
"you know that actually didn't help at all"
Renjun
"hey babe can you help me really quickly, I need help moving my monitor, the cord is stuck somewhere behind my desk"
"Y/n can it wait like 10 minutes"
"No it literally can't I have a assignment due in thirty minutes and I will literally jump off a fucking cliff if I don't get full credit for this"
"Nice Hello Kitty Underwear"
"Renjun you're the one who bought me these, you've seen them and taken them off me numerous times"
"oh he has!! has he!"
"go put some pants on please sweetheart"
"I'm so fucking terrified why were their two different voices just now"
"Hi y/n"
"I'm gonna start crying please tell me Jaemin didn't just see me in fucking hello kitty underwear"
"Y/n please go put some pants on"
"yeah....yeah I'll go do that...... Uh just so you know....im not letting him hit for free.....he did ask me out"
"congrats to the happy couple"
"fuck you"
Jeno
"so how did you all manage to fail the same test?"
"I cheated off of Haechan, and Haechan Cheated off of Jaemin, so its basically Jaemin's fault"
"hey I thought Jaemin knew what he was doing"
"Haechan, Jaemin never knows what he is doing"
"fair"
"oh fuck, I have to go babe I'm gonna miss the bus if I dont run, I will see you soon" *phatass smooch before leaving* *leaves*
5 minutes later....
"alright I'm back I missed the bus"
"DID YALL JUST FUCKING KISS?"
"....no"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO I FUCKING WATCHED IT HAPPEN"
"oh thats so crazy I think I just heard the bus, I have to go omg byeeeeee"
"so you're leaving me to deal with this"
"yes, bye pookie, smooches I'll see you later tonight, bye Haechan!"
Haechan
"are we gonna talk about it... or should I just ignore it"
"ignore what"
"im not following"
"are you two being serious"
"dude what the fuck are you talking about??"
"Haechan."
"what"
"you've been sitting in y/n's lap the entire time we've been here"
"and...?"
"we are literally just close friends"
"dog you are literally hand feeding haechan french fries"
"im literally baby"
"even that was a lot for me"
"im sorry pookie"
"allllriight get off, I wont be this couple"
"pookie did you just make it official!"
"can you please be normal"
Jaemin
"Hypothetically what do you guys consider too much for a gift for your significant other"
"well how long would you two have been dating"
"like 6 months...?"
"umm anything ring related, thats kinda scary, too reminiscent of marriage"
"well fuck"
"what do you mean oh fuck? what the fuck did you buy"
"a ring"
"what"
"what...."
"for who??"
"y/n"
"WHAT"
"Y/N?"
"WHY?"
"YOU'VE BEEN DATING FOR 6 MONTHS?"
"STOP YELLING AT ME"
Chenle
"the guys know you and me are dating"
"what? how"
"I got in trouble"
"what did you do..."
"they all got kinda mad at me and said I was kinda mean to you and asked what my issue with you was"
"and what did you say"
"please don't be mad"
"chenle"
"I told them not to worry because you think it's hot when I'm kinda mean"
"chenle"
they didn't believe me at first... and I was feeling pressured!...they literally cornered me!"
"chenle"
"so I showed them a little bit of our texts when you said...itwassexy whenIwasmeantoyou"
"run"
"I WILL TELL THEM ABOUT THE MOMMY KINK IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER?"
"run. now"
"ok!"
Jisung
"hey guys, just wanted to let you know me and jisung are dating now officially"
*shriek* "WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT!"
"Jisung what..."
"I DONT EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE"
"jisung park"
"please ma'am stop spreading that!"
"ANDY"
"I'm so sorry guys I dont know whats gotten into her!"
"jisung...She's literally your lockscreen"
"I literally have no idea what you are talking about"
"jisung I WILL do a coochie ban"
"this is actually bae 4 lyfe, she my day one and I worship the ground she walk on fr"
"thats what I thought"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Hi! here is a little something from the drafts that is basically finished, I hope you like it! I am fr just getting back into writing so excuse any errors. But i hope yall have a good night/day!
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Note
Hii babe!!
I just read both of your Connor fic/hc’s and I love them! I was wondering if you could do something with Connor and a daughter of Aphrodite reader? Maybe headcannons of how he would be on a quest (pre-dating or dating I don’t mind), or potentially something about sneaking out of camp with him (again pre-dating/dating)? If you have another idea go ahead I just don’t find many people who write for Connor so I figured I’d request
Thanks so much!!! 🩷🩷
⋆⭒˚.⋆ connor stoll x daughter of aphrodite! reader hcs
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content: connor stoll x daughter of aphrodite! reader warning: allusions to authoring need sex (sorry, I was foaming at the mouth that’s my bad), language for sure, author's note: i be doing so many daughter of aphrodite x characters that this one took so long simply bc my pinterest was struggling to pinterest and find me cute pink pics.
just a girl and her ironic shirt loving boyfriend
i just know his closet (chest?? idk where they store their clothes in those cabins someone call up good sir rick and ask bc this is gonna live rent free in my head until i figure it out) is full of those shirts.
'women want me. fish fear me.'
'im not as think as you drunk i am.'
bro loves them, laughs every time he puts it on and looks in the mirror
and so, to prove your love to him, you took a risk with your fashion
while you were kinda known for your excellent fashion taste, your boy was so worth putting it at risk to see the huge smile stretch across his lips
'i heart to make boys cry' proudly stretched across your chest
he's drooling
he's sobbing
he's completely in love
and he's buying a matching one, expeditiously
connor loves to pull tiny pranks on you, nothing too big or serious bc you WILL cry
hiding your lip gloss, replacing the makeup in your makeup with confetti that blows up in your face when you open it, those candles that don't blow out on your birthday
OH OH OH and he loves to that thing where like he says, 'you've got something on your shirt' and when you look down he like flicks your face back up
well, if you were travis he'd flick your face back up
but since youre you, he holds your chin in his hand and lifts your face back up and plants a big kiss on your lips
he laughs every time, thinks hes funny or some shit
he is funny but don't tell him that
also he will always steal for you. like, always
"oh that shirt is so cute."
"okay okay, so cover my back from the security camera over there and i'll shove it into my pants-"
"connie, baby, i'm just going to buy it. like a normal person."
"...why?"
calls you 'love bug'
just his little love bug, his sweet lover girl, his dove
if he sees something that comes in pink and blue, he's buying it
and proudly showing it to you, claiming its you guys in another universe
"this is use if we were converses- OH, and this is us if we were toothbrushes. this is us if we were cars- look, they're kissing, isn't that cute??"
he's on the verge of tears telling you this
every pink sunset, he sends you a pic, telling you that it reminded him of you
also, NEEDS a 'im home' text or will think you died
after a hang out, you're just chilling at home until connor comes running into your house, pulling you into a tight hug as you look at him confused
"con, what's going on?"
"you didn't tell me you got home and i thought you died."
"...and you didn't think to call??"
"...no."
unprompted, you bought a necklace with a dainty little 'c' on it and you just wore it one day without giving him warning or anything
he sees it and he's just all smiles, reaching a finger out and pulling it away from your skin gently
"what's this for then?"
"oh, the 'c' stands for chocolate, you know i love my chocolate-"
"shut up," he hums, not even giving you time to reply as he presses his lips against yours
he gets a matching one
and it looks great during sex, your initial dangling over your head as his slips around on your chest
god that's so hot-
i need my matchy-matchy boyfriend
i need my soft boy
i need sex-
jk jk jk
...kinda
oh and if you think this boy isn't sneaking in and out and all about camp for you, you're sooooo wrong
he sneaks things in, sure, but that's easy
what's more of a challenge is when he promised you a date outside of camp
but even that's relatively easy
you guys just climb into the back of the delivery truck, hiding among the strawberries until one of his siblings slaps the side of the truck, telling them they're good to go
before you guys started dating, it was kinda awkward as there really wasn't much space back there, both of you trying to shuffle away and give the other as much space as possible
but now...you're on his lap the whole ride
trust, those strawberries have SEEN some things
hope they find peace fr
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idyllic-affections · 1 year
Text
we'll meet again.
summary. ""I'm sure we'll meet again, but for now… goodbye, [Name]."" trigger & content warnings. major character death (the reader), mild blood. tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. angst, hurt/no comfort. muichiro tokito & hashira mentor!reader. 1.1k words. they/them pronouns for reader. author's thoughts. this is an expansion of these headcanons. while this oneshot could be read as a standalone, it makes slightly more sense with the background context. also i think this oneshot only really makes sense if youve read the demon slayer manga; you wont understand the fight scene if you havent. anyway i have NO excuse for this. im so sorry (no im not LMAO)
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       "Tokito, move!"
       Perhaps it was the urgency in their tone, or perhaps it was the evident desire to protect a young life that they deemed unsettlingly evanescent, yet Muichiro obeyed with no hesitation. Perhaps it was simply the trust and respect he held for his mentor.
       Regardless, he moved.
       The second he released the hilt of his blade, they clasped it, pushing the boy further away with all their might. Though they may have missed it, Muichiro grimaced from the utter force they exerted against his core and stumbled slightly when attempting to regain his balance.
       ...
       He hadn't sparred with them in quite a long time. He'd forgotten the kind of power that they could demonstrate.
       Though the blade had been red before when clutched in the Mist Hashira's hand, it was blazing now, making the Upper Moon suck in a sharp, painful breath. Their glare was steely enough to make even the bravest man falter.
       If Kokushibo was not a demon, perhaps even he would have wavered.
       "You will not harm my Tsuguko."
       Lightning struck their core, tearing and searing the seams of their flesh to reach its sharp nails into their delicate innards. They hardly processed the gaping gash across their torso until the pain came in seconds later, making the floor sway beneath their feet and their vision spin. A glare that was once as sharp as their nichirin blade was now unfocused and hazy.
       Their legs gave out from underneath them.
       Through the pounding of their heart in their ears, they heard a distant, faint cry of their name.
       A moment passed, then another.
       Tender fingers brushed hair that'd stuck to their sweaty, pale face away, caressing their cheek with a trembling hand. "...[Name]-nee?"
       "Ah..." they laughed, choking up a bit of blood in the process, before wincing at the sharp pain that struck their abdomen after. "That's the first time you've called me anything other than [Name]-sama, Mui-kun. It's cute. You should've done it a long time ago."
       "H— wait, hold on, just stay awake a little longer," he urged, hands scrambling to peel away at some of the fabric sticking to their flesh. The boy's pupils were blown wide with panic; that much they could tell, despite their blood-loss induced dilirium. "We'll close your wounds, just... I need..."
       "Hey..." they called weakly, gently pushing his hands away from their wound with what little strength they had left. "Tokito."
       "I just, I- I need to start a fire. We'll cauterize them—"
       "Tokito-kun."
       "—It'll be okay."
       "Mui-kun, please, just stop already! Listen to me!"
       Glossy tears spilled over at the sheer breathless desperation in their voice. Never once had their voice raised in his direction, and perhaps it was a mix of the utter overwhelm of the situation and the shock of hearing them yell (at him, specifically) that pushed him over the edge.
       In the end, Muichiro was still only a child.
       Their chest rose up and down in heavy puffs as they tried to catch their breath, squeezing their eyes shut as the room spun.
       "[Name]-nee... don't go yet. Please, please... not you too..."
       "Shh. I'm still here. Just, ah... just give me your hands. I'll throw up if I open my eyes."
       He was quick in clasping their chilled hands between his own, sharing his body heat and offering what little comfort he possibly could to both himself and his rapidly declining mentor. A deep weight settled in his gut at the realization that he wasn't just in some horrible nightmare—that, once again, someone he adored and loved wholeheartedly was leaving him alone.
       To them, the warmth he radiated was indeed a comforting reassurance. He was warm. Alive.
       "Listen to me. You've gotta kill Muzan for me. This isn't fixable. This couldve been you, laying here in your own blood, you know? You're too young to die here. Too many kids have given their lives already. You had better not die, you hear me? I'll give you hell if you do."
       When he laid down beside them, shedding blistering tears on their shoulder, they caressed his head lovingly with the last of their strength.
       "You had better not die, Muichiro."
              — flower of the universe !! 🌸
       "Hello! It's nice to meet you. I am [Surname] [Name], the Demon Slayer Corps' Cloud Hashira, and I'll be your mentor from here on out."
       The warmth with which they regarded him was... foreign. Despite the nervous smile tugging at their lips, their welcoming warmth was oh-so evident. How could one who had seen so much bloodshed still have eyes that shone comparably to stars?
       Muichiro blinked—once, twice.
       "Okay."
       Awkward silence descended for a brief moment as the boy fidgeted slightly with the bandages wrapped around his body.
       "Oh, uh, right," they stammered, plucking amaranth from their hair. Their hand raised with purposeful delicacy so that, had he so desired, he could withdraw from their gentle touch. He did not. His lack of movement prompted them to tuck the plant behind his ear. "Here."
       "What's this for?"
       "Well, I've never had a Tsuguko before, so I want us to have a good relationship. Some of the other Hashira say gift-giving is a good way to build rapport. Also, I've been thinking about your name."
       "My... name?"
       "Yes. The 'mu' in your given name—it's the same as the 'mu' in 'mugen,' isn't it? The 'mu' in Muichiro is the 'mu' in 'mugen.' I like to think so, at least. Amaranth is a symbol of immortality in some countries. It's... it's the closest I could get to infinity," they laughed. "I thought about bringing a lotus instead. Maybe I should have? A lotus would've looked a little nicer. Hmm..."
       The 'mu' in Muichiro is the 'mu' in 'mugen.'
       Where...
       Where had he heard that before?
       "You wanted to bring me a lotus that day, [Name]-nee. It was because they symbolise eternity, right?" Muichiro mused in a quiet whisper that would inevitably be lost to the breeze. No-one else was meant to hear, anyway. His words were for no-one but his late mentor; that much was blatantly obvious. "I didn't think you'd ever join this graveyard."
       The rows of graves behind Oyakata-sama's seemed endless, really. Day after day they used to get bigger and bigger as Demon Slayers fell. It was somehow comforting to Muichiro that no-one would ever have to join said rows ever again.
       "You know, lotuses also symbolise rebirth. That's why I brought you one."
       With delicacy so obviously mimicing that which they had once displayed towards him, he laid the flower on their grave, careful not to disturb the dirt too much.
       "I'm sure we'll meet again, but for now... goodbye, [Name]."
please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot! for clarity's sake, the line "The 'mu' in Muichiro is the 'mu' in 'mugen'" is a reference to what muichiro's brother said before he died.
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On Gale and patriarchy/toxic masculinity
I really want to do a reading and analysis of Gale's character as upholding patriarchal values and expectations of toxic masculinity because this stuck out to me as I listened to the CF audiobook before bed last night. From chapter 1 of CF:
I think of Gale, who is only really alive in the woods, with its fresh air and sunlight and clean, flowing water. I don't know how he stands it. Well ... yes, I do. He stands it because it's the way to feed his mother and two younger brothers and sister. And here I am with buckets of money, far more than enough to feed both our families now, and he won't take a single coin. It's even hard for him to let me bring in meat, although he'd surely have kept my mother and Prim supplied if I'd been killed in the Games. I tell him he's doing me a favor, that it drives me nuts to sit around all day. Even so, I never drop off the game while he's at home. Which is easy since he works twelve hours a day. 
Highlighted the part that really made my ears perk up. There's something to be said about Gale's stubbornness and his pride, which is very similar to Katniss's but he always takes it another step. Whereas Katniss learns to accept others' help, to forge these connections, Gale doesn't. It's giving "I'm the man and this is my job." For someone who wants nothing more than to help keep his family alive, it's weird that he refuses any help.
At first I thought maybe he doesn't want her money because it's from the Capitol and he despises it that much but she says it's hard for him to even have her bring meat in from hunting. Which points to his pride. He wants to be the provider. The one taking care of her. And it leaves Katniss in a kinda tricky place. It's like she's walking on eggshells around him here - purposely not dropping off game at his house when he's there.
Compare that with Peeta (which as a reader, like Katniss, you end up doing when either of these two guys come up) and it's so different. We know Peeta is strong and smart etc. He's not a hunter but he's also still a provider (of bread). And he has his own pride too. But going through the Games, Peeta and Katniss have a balanced push and pull. She helps him, he helps her. She takes care of him, he takes care of her. When he's hurt, he lets Katniss help him. He's not too proud to try and do it himself. Same with Katniss. She lets him take care of her when she needs it. And this is something they learn from the Games, particularly Katniss; how to accept help from others. And we see her development in this over the course of the trilogy.
Gale is interesting in that I really think he is one of the characters in the books who really doesn't grow as such. In my mind, he's rooted in place in many ways. From his ideals, to his thoughts, to his strategies, to his actions, he doesn't really develop much. He has moments - but a lot of those moments are tied to wanting to apologise to or be better for Katniss (and still he comes up short). I'm thinking of the moment where he makes her feel bad for defending her prep team in 13 and then later tries to smooth things over in the canteen by being kind. I believe that's something he did only for Katniss. She's his motivation to be different (but turns out that's not enough still.)
I'll maybe build on this another time but this passage made me think of what he says when he sees Katniss after Prim's death. "Does it matter? You'll always be thinking about it... That was the one thing I had going for me. Taking care of your family." Instead of apologising for helping to create such bombs, instead of asking for forgiveness, instead of crying with her, instead of expressing his sorrow and regret at what's happened, this is all he's able to say. Which is odd to me. To not even try to comfort your supposed closest friend at such a time. To say that's all you had going for you? It's this relationship of transaction. 'I take care of your family and hunt with you so you should end up marring me.' I really don't think that's far from what Gale expected.
I think there's even more to say about Gale as a patriarchal character but I've rambled on enough at this point. But his attitude and perspective throughout the book, while aligned with that of a traumatised young adult in the midst of oppression, also aligns heavily with patriarchal constructs. The way he thinks of war and people and human relationships, the way he thinks of fighting and death, and the way he thinks of doing whatever you have to do to achieve your end, no matter what happens or who gets hurt in pursuit of it. If anyone has any reading on Gale in these areas I'd be so interested in it!
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drmaddict · 9 days
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Want to be messed up together?
Summary: Some traumas are smaller, but they are still there. Simon learns more about his girlfriend's childhood. They are so different and yet so alike.
Wordcount: 577
Author's note: No this is not based on me. I don't know where you got that from. It's a character on its own and has nothing to do with the author.
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"I mean my mum was also the 'stop crying or I'll give you a reason to cry' type, but-"
Simon looked up in surprise. He had heard them both talking on the phone. They seemed familiar. Although she seemed more cautious with her mum. Not drastic, but more diplomatic in nature.
"Did she hit you?", he blurted out immediately.
She shook her head quickly. "No! I mean, there was the odd slap on the back of the head or on the bum, but she didn't hurt me... Although she often took me aside, when I was... well, when I was too annoying. I can only vaguely remember. I remember that it happened, but... well, not exactly what happened." Her eyes looked into the past. Looked at scenes that Simon couldn't see. "She never hurt me."
Simon got all stiff. "You know she still shouldn't have done that."
She nodded again. "No, she shouldn't have." She ran her finger over her coffee-to-go cup and pressed her lips together. "Well, she had a lot of stress back then, was probably in a permanent pre-burn-out, and didn't know how to do it better. She did her best... and failed." She smiled with sad eyes and looked at Simon. "She's trying, so I'm trying to forgive her."
Simon looked into her eyes. Understood her a little more. Her shyness. Her fear of doing something wrong. How nervous she got, when she thought, she was annoying someone. Her desire to get through everyday life as peacefully as possible. Why she never cried in front of him, no matter how obvious it was, why she ran to the bathroom.
He carefully placed a hand on hers. He saw her eyes gleam wetly, but she blinked rapidly and breathed in and out once hard.
"Your father?"
"Oh, he was just there watching his animal documentaries.", she waved him off. "When I was in tenth grade, he took one look at me at dinner once and asked me how much longer I was going to go to school... There was one incident, because I was too annoying again, but that was it. Although he was always strangely proud of the day."
"I'm sure my therapist would have her fun with you.", he mumbled. He hadn't expected the laughter that followed.
"I'm sure she would." She smiled sadly again. "I went to one once", she explained. "When I told her that I was already aware, where all of my problems came from and that I would rather know how to break out of my behavioural patterns, she just said that she couldn't just tell me what to do. 'You need to reflect and make a connection. If you understand, you'll act differently." She rolled her eyes. "I've been waiting a good ten years to find and get a place. Doesn't she think I've ever had the idea to think my life apart like this? And yet I'm still stuck. If yours is more solution-orientated, I'm happy to give it a chance."
Simon had to grin slightly. "No. Sounds just like mine. 'You need to feel your feelings Mr. Riley'. I thought I did.", he mimicked her.
She laughed. "I thought I was the only one who didn't understand. 'I can't tell you how to do it. You just have to know.' Yes, but unfortunately I don't know."
Simon laughed. She looked happier at his face again. "Want to be messed up together?"
Simon smiled and nodded.
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infinityinakiss · 11 months
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avatrice au fic recommendations:
i don't think there is a single avatrice au fic that i haven't read so here are some my favorites. i tried to find ones that weren't as popular, so hopefully there are couple here you haven't read.
I want to believe by puppybusby @yashastrongarms - x files au - basically 23k of avatrice flirting while being incredibly reckless with alien shit. unfortunately, it is only a one shot that doesn't delve into their relationship, but it is so worth it. and the tension. woof.
Truly a Steadfast Love by StoicLastStand - medieval au - they have a whole series of ficlets, but this is one of my favorites. there's a tournament to win ava's hand in marriage, ava goes undercover to fight for her freedom, but she ends up falling for the very knight who everybody wants to win. i also love their lucifer au, Greater Sacrifices.
a lover, or something of mine by Smokestarrules - reincarnation au - each chapter is a different life with a different story, and i promise you, if you have anything that even resembles a heart, you will cry. i keep going back and rereading chapter 4 because apparently i love to hurt myself. i also love the world is just illusion (trying to change you) by them, it's a road trip au.
i should love you (and i swear i do) by Noteveryonefitsintothebadbitchgenre - harry potter au (fuck jk rowling) - its that trope where they're married and they talk about each other constantly but nobody actually knows they're married. their students all think that professor silva and professor young have a friendly rivalry, but there are a couple of moments that don't add up.
purple by sxftmelody - hitman au - technically, but really it's just sad, i always cry at the end. beatrice helps ava run away after a job, and slowly they open themselves up and start to fall in love. tw: major character death. also love turning page by the same author, mercenary/princess au.
in our corner of the world by definitelynotthere - roommate au - i know, i know, there's a thousand roommate aus, why would i recommend a fic that isn't even finished and will probably never get finished? i don't know, i just really love this one, and if you're like me, you'll go "ooh, two cakes" and read it anyway.
The last hero of Ogygia by jessnope - percy jackson au - specifically calypso au, ava is calypso and beatrice is the flirty hunter that washed up on her shore. it's super cute.
stay there, 'cause i'll be coming over (while our blood's still young) by britishngay - spiderman au - ava's character voice is actually designed to be spiderman, and bea is the perfect doctor lady that patches spidey up when she gets hurt. plus beatrice telling lilith to "shut up and sit down" will never not be iconic.
sunday people (sunday shines for you) by gilligankane @piratekane - another roommates au - jealous ava is back again and out for blood, specifically jenn-with-two-ns blood.
this is my prayer (I'm in love with you) by nyxtyka - my best friend's wedding/spies au - i'll be honest, this fic went to my marked for laters to die. i don't know if it'll ever be finished, but it is one of my favorite aus, i promise it'll be worth the pain.
spellbound by onomofication - witch au - beatrice is the witch in the woods that ava goes to to finally find a way to explore the world like she has always wanted to. but as she gets to know the surprisingly kind, serious, kinda-sorta witch, she discovers that maybe the world was smaller than she had once imagined. i also love another fic by this author, hit me with you best shot, which is basically a cupid au, where ava runs around trying to stop jc, a cupid, from shooting the love of her life, beatrice.
the celestial glow is blinding by understreetlights - firewatch au - did i think ava and beatrice sitting around, looking at trees, and falling love with each other through walkie talkies was going to be interesting? no, but the world loves to prove me wrong.
too cold, it's withdrawal by KatieQgle - captain america au - give this one a chance, even if you don't like marvel. beatrice is hot as fuck as bucky and honestly the winter soldier plot line needed a little sapphic yearning. come on, avatrice in the army in the 1940s, being badass and fighting nazis together? who wouldn't love that?
i have a ton more, reach out if you want them!
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maxzinn · 2 months
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off topic but also on topic its so clear that the genshin/star rail (saying both cause theres a large overlap) have no capability of thinking.
there are so many fics where *reader* somehow becomes a (sex)slave or is forced to do horrible shit and just general dead dove behavior. the fact that the author used INGAME LORE, CANON BACKSTORY FOR THE CHARACTER proves how braindead so many people are.
like people try to free slaves/captors in media isnt a new thing. theres a lot of art of that angelhusk ship where one gambles for the others freedom (never watched it but its an example)
like having slaves/captors in media isnt new and never has been but the only reason people truely care is because its a hoyoverse game and cant handle anything darker or complex then a PG rating
(sorry anon, I got carried away with this one tee-hee)
YOU'RE SO REAL FOR THIS!!! y'know I was sooo confused when people started screaming for blood when the authors are using his IN-GAME LORE in their fics and then claims that the people who enjoyed writing those have "white-knight syndrome" like cmon sjsadhjg you're giving me a fucking stroke.
I'll say it again, wanting to give slave aventurine or someone a better life DOESN'T mean they have "white-knight syndrome" when they have good intentions!!! We were all were crying for him and his tragic past, we all wanted to comfort him, and we at some point also wished for his salvation and the betterment of his life. These people need to stop throwing these "white-knight syndrome" accusations cuz it's definitely not about that. And like you said, it was his IN-GAME LORE. I already expected some authors to write about reader saving him from his slavery and there's nothing wrong with that! Cuz please, don't tell me you won't help the guy out of his abusive owner, let's be fr here.
Like you also said, many have been writing yandere/heavy dark themes about reader being literally SA'd and R'd by said character (do not tell me you guys haven't read all those fics where Aven was our debt collector and in paying our debt, he noncon or manipulated us into sleeping with him 💀) and now they wanna talk about morals?
And please, don't even try bringing up Romania or irl people in here. IT'S A FICTIONAL RACE IN A FICTIONAL STORY. it may be "inspired" like they said, but it's not directly addressing Romania!!
I get their point alright, I truly do. Like I said in my other post, I do not condone the sex slave! aus about aventurine and the master/slave bdsm cuz his story truly hurt me and I'm uncomfortable sexualizing his slavery when I know about his story and what happened to him as a slave. But I won't go as far as to actually send death threats to those authors and act like a hypocrite💀 people can write what they want to write and I don't have to read those writings if I don't wanna.
Just to say, I'm a yandere/dark-content enjoyer as well, it's just that I draw the line when it comes to aventurine cuz I just wanna cuddle and dote on that man and give him all the love and affection in the world. but like I said, am no hypocrite as well. (sorry if I can't explain it very well but I hope you get the gist of it)
It's just funny and baffling how people are like "eww this person wrote a fic about reader buying slave aventurine so they can be a good owner to him".... this is leaving me speechless how they turned an act with good intentions into something malicious... that poor author doesn't even have bad intentions when writing that fic.
When you apply their logic, it's like saying "this person adopted an abused child so that they can be a good parent to that child, disgusting" do they even realize how stupid they sound??? 😭
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wriothesleybear · 7 months
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Apparently, in a leak, there's a made-up story about Wriothesley fighting a deep-sea beast but he says its fake.
Anyway, imagine him saving you from one or just fighting one to impress you.
I'm so sorry this took so long! Was in a writing rut for a while and then when I finally started writing, I lost my first draft of it. It was so good and I got so sad that I lost it😭... Anyways, now that we've seen his character and gotten to know him more in the main story and his character story, I can see him doing this lmao. He's likely to save you from one because he is protective of those he cares about. If you get impressed by him doing that it's a plus! Imagine him saving you from one and he casually walks over to you, holding his hand out to help you on your feet. He has a smirk on his face as he asks you, "impressed?" You could respond in two ways.
Either you blush and shyly thank him. He notices the hand he's holding is shaking a bit. He understands that you were scared and you're probably having trouble calming down. With a gentle look on his face, he gives your hand a comforting squeeze. "It's okay. You're safe now." You know he's trying to comfort you and you appreciate him trying to do that, but it just causes you to break down in tears. He hates seeing you cry. He immediately pulls you into a tight hug, letting you cry into his chest as he rubs your back. He lets you take your time letting your emotions out, giving reassuring words every now and then. He blames himself for not protecting you and can't even imagine what would've happened if he didn't get there in time. He tries to calm his own thoughts and focus on you. Once you finally calm down, you slightly pull away so you can see his face. He cups your face, using his thumbs to wipe the tears off your cheeks. "Thank you Wrio." He leans his forehead against yours and gently smiles. "Let's go home. I'll make you some tea." You slightly chuckle. "Okay." He picks you up in his arms. You get embarrassed and tell him he doesn't have to carry you but of course he says he doesnt mind. You smile, wrap your arms around his neck and kiss his cheek. "My hero." He's the one who's blushing now.
The other way you can respond is by messing with him and saying not really. Although you deny it, he notices the blush on your cheeks. He knows what you're doing and plays along. "Are you sure because I saw how awestrucked you were while I was fighting the monster." You blush more. "Fine, I suppose I was a little bit impressed." He smirks some more. "Thank you for saving me Wrio." "If you really want to thank me, how about a kiss on the cheek to show your appreciation?" You want to wipe that smirk off his face. "How about I get you some high quality tea instead?" You suggest. "Eh, that's no fun. How about you join me for a tea date?" "Hm? Is THE Duke asking me out?" You tease. "It's either the tea date or a kiss on the cheek. Your choice." You contemplate for a few seconds and ultimately make a decision. You pull him by his tie towards your face and kiss him on the lips. It only lasts for a few seconds but it leaves him stunned. You smirk and start walking away. You notice that you don't hear footsteps following behind you, so you look back to see him still standing in place, trying to understand what just happened. You chuckle. "Come on. I thought you said you would take me on a tea date." You turn and continue walking. He finally gathers himself and chuckles. Well played, he thinks. He finally follows you and catches up. While walking back to the prison, he silently plans a way to surprise you with a kiss next time.
I hope he wasn't too ooc, but these are my thoughts on if he saved you from a monster. Thank you for the ask anon and I hope you enjoy!🥰❤️
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no-passaran · 2 months
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The story of Jesus Christ Superstar is the tragedy of its characters coming to realise that they have no power over their lives, fighting as much as they can against the role that history/God is forcing them to fulfil, but failing because they were doomed from the start.
Jesus in Gethsemane desperately asking God why should he be killed, how is that going to make anything better, only to realise that it doesn't matter what he believes or wants because it's already fixed ("why then am I scared to finish what I started? What you started, I didn't start it.") and there is nothing that can be done. Against his will, he will have to continue performing this role to its bitter end ("God, thy will is hard, but you hold every card. I will drink your cup of poison, nail me to your cross and break me, bleed me, beat me, kill me. Take me now, before I change my mind.")
Judas realises later, after he has already fulfilled his role in the story. This realization and regret leads him to commit suicide, being the only way out of a life that has already been fixed to make him the eternal villain ("you'll be remembered forever for this", "I shall be dragged through the slime and the mud")... even though this apparent choice of suicide was, following the same reasoning, also taken for him ("my God, I'm sick! I've been used! And you knew all the time. God! I'll never know why you chose me for your crime. Your foul, bloody crime. You have murdered me! Murdered me! Murdered me!"). Judas understands what he did, and he understands what he will be, forever. He understands that not only has he been Judas, he now knows what it means to be Judas: Jesus insulted him by telling him ("you liar, you Judas"). In the very end, he completely understands what it means to be a Judas, because of what he had done.
And Pilate is the last one to try by all means to escape his destiny. He's seen it in his dream, but he refuses to follow it. He refuses to sentence Christ, telling the crowd that he's a crazy man but that's not a crime, trying to convince them that it's against their best interest to ally with Rome, and begs Christ to let him help him get saved ("why do you not speak when I hold your life in my hands? How can you stay quiet? I don't believe you understand!") but of course, the post-Gethsemane Jesus already has accepted that they're doomed, and he's the one to tell Pilate ("you have nothing in your hands, any power you have comes to you from far beyond. Everything is fixed, and you can't change it."). The realization is dawning on Pilate as he desperately continues trying to cling to his ability to take meaningful choices, literally begging Christ to let him take that decision ("you're a fool Jesus Christ, how can I help you?") but with the crowd's shouts for crucifixion, and the crowd circling him and pushing him against the wall, he really does realize it: he has no choice; he will have to play his part in the story. And he knows how it will end, he knows what his role will mean, he also knows what it means to be Pilate ("then I saw thousands of millions crying for this man, and then I heard them mentioning my name and giving me the blame"). The only thing he can do is remove himself from it, but even then he is aware that that won't stop the already-fixed history ("I wash my hands from your demolition. Die if you want to, you innocent puppet").
After all, we saw it from the very first scene. Isn't this what the story's framing means? The overture shows the actors arriving to the filming set by bus and getting ready to play their role. And, at the end of the film, they pack and leave. They came here to recite a script that someone else wrote, to fulfil a story where everything is fixed, and they can't change it. That was what they were made for. Innocent puppets.
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