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suguruplsr · 7 months

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All you know..

✰ ✰ ✰ “are we dating? are we fuckin’? are we best friends? are we something in between that?” — heartbeat , childish gambino

જ⁀➴ i fucking love this. idk what it is tho <3

,, fuckboy! suguru x fem!reader , situation-ship , toxic (both kinda) , reader is mentioned to hook up a bit (w/ boys n’ girls) , slight angst , smut , sex at a party , mirror sex , mean! suguru , degradation , choking , slapping , brat taming ? , idk i wrote this at 4 am

fuckboy! suguru who you met at some party your friend took you to, hosted by his best friend, gojo satoru. surprisingly enough, suguru was the exact opposite of satoru, sure he had the sexual appeal that he definitely used to his advantage, but he was more respectful and quiet. rather than hitting up on girls like his counterpart, the girls were lured to him with just looks alone. his dark eyes and low voice wrapping them tightly into his web until he’s asking them to get out of his bed at 6 am in the morning, needing to clean his room and air out the stench of sex.

— but he never told you to leave, in fact, he let you stay in bed while he cleaned, gathering up your clothes to wash them and leaving out some of his for you to put on when you woke up. suguru wondered if he was just pussy whipped or just too tired to deal with a person that early in the morning. but he was in fact whipped when he found you fixing up his bed after waking up. actually making small talk with him, something he wasn’t fond of, but after your conversation drifted off from the topic last night, he found himself talking with you for hours on his couch, eventually watching a movie and all.

fuckboy! suguru who you see more, from random calls of ‘needing him’ to late night drives to get ice cream. or smoking a thick blunt at 8 am while you two watch some rom-com you picked out. getting picked up straight after work to go to his house and get your feet rubbed, loved on with small praises murmured into your thighs. sometimes he’s taking you to the club or to fancy dinners. you like it, the diversity of being.. well, something, with him. which leads to what you don’t like, not having a name for what you two are.

— two months. it took you two months of good dick, soft moments, fun dates, and getting spoiled for you to question everything. you almost felt guilty, but you were too headstrong for that, you know any other girl in your place would never complain or demand an answer as to what relationship you two have formed. but you know that’s probably why he likes you, so stubborn and always knowing what you want. the first time it came to mind, you asked him straight up.

━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━

“suguru?” you finish cutting your steak, before answering his small “hm?” , “what are we?” your voice was probably softer then you wanted it to be, confidence faltering as he stayed silent. perhaps this wasn't the best time? well yea, no shit, you think. you two were at some well known restaurant downtown, both of you dressed up and eating delicious food that suguru was paying for. you didn’t know where his money came from, but you knew better than to press when he gave an indirect answer the first time you asked, guys like that usually do some shady shit. and you have enough experience to know to just accept you found a man with good money and go about your business.

“how about you just eat mama? we’ll talk later.” and later never came, just subject changes and avoidance that had you rethinking this whole thing you had with him. it’s not like he has eyes for other girls, obviously committed to this growing.. situationship.. you two have going on. he turns down girls in a heartbeat, and nearly yelled at satoru when he found out his best friend was giving out his number to shy admirers. he was very clear that he wanted you. just not clear enough. and it’s not like you’re looking for others, but you can’t help but just want something more, wanting to be in an actual relationship rather than walk on this thread of string that you could tip over at any moment.

━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━

fuckboy! suguru that you have an argument with for the first time after 3 months of knowing each other. annoyed by your nonstop questioning that he’s been desperately trying to not answer. and he goes off, making it painfully clear that no matter what you two do, you guys aren’t even completely serious, meaning that those moments of vulnerability, kisses that were way more than just the ‘heat of the moment’, the drives to walmart at 2 am for snacks, everything that made you fall in love, was just nothing. and that he doesn’t owe you an explanation as to why it’s nothing, as to why those soft touches that explored your body in a language different from just sex, was nothing. the tiny shifts in your dynamic together was just nothing. there was never something, and you were just friends with benefits. nothing more.

— finding your answer, you decide that perhaps it was best to leave nothing and to find something. not talking to him for weeks and responding to those guys who ask for your number, which leads to very few that you see outside of your bed. maybe you were desensitized after him? only knowing the name of geto suguru, a taste on your lips that was oh so sour. yet a taste on your lips that never leaves, no one fills the lost warmth when they hold you, it’s not the same as his, they may be a good kisser, but it’s not the same as his, they could throw dick down good, but it wasn’t the same as his. you only knew geto suguru.

— and you fucking hate yourself for that. you hate that he suddenly appears outside your door after 5 weeks and 4 days since your argument. you hate that you let him in and fuck you in such an intimate way that it doesn’t feel like fucking, you hate that you swear up and down you’ll set it straight with him in the morning only to be greeted by his lazy smile, making you breakfast and apologizing for everything except for not giving you a simple answer. you hate that you let him walk back into your life so casually. and it happens, you ask after two weeks of ‘normalcy’, in which he doesn’t answer. and you try to make it clear you won’t be seeing him again. but it happens again, again, and again. because no one can love you in the way geto suguru does. and you only knew geto suguru.

fuckboy! suguru who makes you fall into a swirl of emotions you hate. 6 months. you don’t ask anymore. that cute guy at starbucks? you had three dates with him. the hot tattoo artist down the street? yea you two fucked after she finished her work on your back. the same one suguru kissed all over after it finished healing. gojo satoru? he’s been in your bed a few times. that makes you confident in knowing that suguru isn’t oblivious to the fact that you’ve been seeing others without a care in the world. but you also know he won’t do anything, because according to his logic, you two weren’t anything serious. so he has no right to judge you, no matter how well he treats you. it was nothing in his eyes right?

— maybe that’s why you have to try breaking his patience again, one last time. maybe he’ll finally cut you off and let you move on or he’ll give you an answer you can take and hold onto, without hesitation. you’re going to a halloween costume themed party, everyone in their typical final girl outfits, or wearing iconic outfits of killers you’ve all grown to know. you wear a skimpy killer nurse costume, painting fake blood in places that forces eyes to linger for too long. i mean, if it made geto suguru, of all people, to stop and give you a look that may have been a warning for you to keep your act together, then was it really a defective plan?

━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━

“man, this mansion is fucking creepy.” your friend groans, taking in another sip of her ‘blood’ (wine), after you two walk over the creaking wood. you two were on the 2nd floor, watching the dancing that happened below you two. mainly coming up here after you two realized this is where mostly everyone looking for a quick fuck went to. but your friend only gave you a sigh when your eyes stayed on some broad guy at the end of the hall. “you serious about this? what about that guy you came here with?” she raised an eyebrow, nudging your side as you rolled your eyes.

“and he’s precisely why i’m doing this babe.” you grin, finishing off your drink and getting up once you see the familiar cloak of suguru’s classic ghost face costume from the corner of your eyes. he was finally taking the bait and coming up stairs. you only knew it was him from the gray glowing paint at the ends of it, something he did when he found out a lot of people were going to dress up as the famous killer. but you also knew from how his eyes stayed on you, they may be covered by the creepy mask, but the slow turn of his head from downstairs when he had first seen you walking up the stairs said enough.

you strut over to the guy with a ditzy smile, his eyes quickly finding themselves falling to your busty breasts as you rub a hand along his chest, making it ‘apparent’ to him that you wanted to take him to some random room and have him fuck your brains out. which wasn’t really the case to be honest. sure he had a good figure, but from his constant stuttering and nervous body language, you knew wasn’t your type. he was lost, definitely a virgin. maybe you’ll hit him up when he gets some experience under his belt? well, probably after you delete the one number that always stays pinned in your messages.

you almost have the poor guy falling for your slutty act when a gloved hand grips your wrist tightly, the masked figure pulling you away with no words. “suguru? fuck are you doing? hey—“ you tried playing dumb, almost tripping when he slams the door of some guest room and pins you to it harshly. you stay silent, almost holding your breath at the sounds of his heavy one, the white mocking mask staring at you eerily. “i tried to be patient with you.” suguru’s voice was filled with bitterness that made you scared for a moment, his hands moving your body. “i even tried to fucking ignore whatever stupid shit you got going on, since you wanna fuck everything that exists.” he sneers, gripping your throat and ignoring your whimper of his name, acrylic nails scratching his gloved hand, which he swats away. “i even let you get away with having my best friends dick down your throat.” he chuckles darkly, pulling you off the wall and pushing you to the bed, his hands letting go.

“wait— suguru i—“ you nearly choke on your words, your eyes watery as he keeps walking towards you, boots dangerously clacking against the wood floor as you fall to the bed, cornered. he pulls the mask up to his nose, strands of his bang showing and you can hear his words clearly, panties pooling in fear, “i want your ass naked and face in the fuckin’ sheets when i come back.” is all he says, you scramble after he closes the door, rolling off the two piece outfit and feeling humiliated at the sight of your cum stained panties.

but nothing is more embarrassing than the possibility of someone walking in, considering his orders weren’t for you to lock the door, or to even look in that direction. you were forced to wait, face deep in the blanket, scared of hearing that door opening and not hearing the dark tone of suguru’s voice. sure it had you aching in dread, but you’ll take whatever sick punishment suguru has for you than someone seeing you in such a state. did you really take it too far this time? but it’s not really your fault.. he’s the one pent up on you seeing other people when you two aren’t even dating.

fortunately, you’re smart enough to know not to even say any of that when you hear the door open, quickly slammed closed and locked. your hands grip the blanket tighter at the sound of his boots. those fucking boots, why do they have to be so loud? it feels like you’re about to be killed or somethin’..

and killed you were. your pussy at least..

“fuck are you cryin’ for huh? this what you do on the daily, nothin’ new right?” suguru chuckles with a hand wrapping around your neck, and pulling your teary ruined face back towards him. he was taking you from behind, cock filling you to the hilt and making you feel him even more as you leaned back to him. you weren’t sure how many times you came on him. time doesn’t even feel real anymore.. what were you even doing before this? it didn’t matter.

you try to talk, words mushing into gibberish as he tightens his grip, making a sound of disappointment before pushing your face back into the sheets, slapping your ass and fucking into your sloppy pussy with thrusts that had you thinking of nothing. only able to just take it, moaning loudly with dark spots forming in your vision, the music downstairs hopefully drowning you two out. suguru’s mask was long gone, most of his hair pulled into a ponytail with his bangs falling. he looked so hot when you two were getting ready, and he still does, your face twisted to the mirror across the room, your blurry eyes watching him put you in your place.

“you’re droolin’ princess, gonna leave a stain for satoru to see later.” suguru smiles, you weren’t even shy about how the thought turned you on, clenching around him so tightly it was almost hard for him to drag his cock through your walls. “oh you like thaaat. let him know this pussy’s mine kay? bet you want him to see you like this.. always slutting yourself out with everyone, only to keep comin’ back to me.” you knew that was an underline for something you never forget. no one’s as good as him. no one will ever fuck you as good as him. and no one will love you as good as him. no one gets to keep playing with your heart like he does, taking you home at 5 am and staying in your life like it was nothing. no one tastes like geto suguru.

that’s all you knew.

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27emailsicantsend · 10 months

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I both love and don’t love that we’re getting secret dating Rina. Love it because hello, it’s like a fanfic coming to life! But I don’t love it because it sort of feels out of character for Gina a bit. Though I understand her reasoning, she’s emphasized in the past how much she hates liars and now she’s lying about this monumental thing. I’m curious to see how they go about them going public and I hope it’s Gina who decides she’s done with the secret dating because she wants everyone to know how happy Ricky makes her! I also hope they don’t go too long with the secret dating, but honestly I think it’s only going to be an episode or two. What are your thoughts?

So I am 1000% sure Tim is one of the rina accounts in disguise because there is no way he’s not reading ao3 late at night and stealing ideas 😂 and while I actually do love the idea of them secret dating (I wrote a whole fic about it), I can see what you mean. It’s actually the reason I was so bothered by Gina’s “nothing wrong with a friendly fib” line three episodes after her saying how much she hates liars. But someone did point out to me that that line was because she knew Ricky wasn’t actually ready to say what she needed and that was her trying to comfort him. I think this is kind of in the same vein. I think she finds lying selfish, but what she is doing is to help protect their relationship and he’s in on it… more of a selfless act.

At least in the moment she sees it that way. I agree that it will probably come back to bite both of them. Ricky will get fed up with Mack all over her and she will feel bad taking away something she knows would bring Ricky relief/happiness.

I think they could decide to tell everyone and around the same time they end up getting caught anyway so it doesn’t matter. I also trust that Tim knows rinas would be very upset if they were never publicly together so I don’t see it lasting too long either. It’s just a fun little plot device to move the storyline along in s4 but at max it probably won’t last longer than 4 eps. Like have you seen them trying to hide in the trailer? They’re so bad at it. It won’t take long for others to know.

There is the scene of them holding hands in front of Miss Jenn where people think they might be out by that scene but idk. Either they are, or they accidentally walk in holding hands, or Miss Jenn is having them rehearse a troyella scene so hand holding makes sense.

Thank you for the ask anon! ☺️

#hsmtmts #high school musical the musical the series #rina #ricky bowen #gina porter #ricky x gina #asks #send me asks #anon

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voulezloux · 5 months

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annual writing self-evaluation

thank you lou @nouies for the tag! having to do self reflection is hard yall

also i wrote this on a google doc so ignore the fact everything is properly capitalized

1. List of works published this year:

One chance (kiss him you fool)

Nights like these

Your right now, your forever, your last call, your whatever

Defying stars

Always had that heart of mine

Part time soulmates (full time problem)

It’s the summer of our love

If it feels like love (then it must be love)

Make my wish come true

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

Defying stars! I’ve always wanted to write a marching band au and i finally got to do it. I’m also proud of part time soulmates (full time problem) because it was so much fun to write

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

I am not very happy with how one chance (kiss him you fool) turned out. I had so many idea for it and none of them came to fruition. I wish i spent more time working on it and i wish i could describe things better than i can

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

From part time soulmates (full time problem)

Harry nods, continuing his tirade on a table. “Why don’t you want to bond?”

Louis freezes mid throw. “What?”

“You said you didn’t want to bond when we first found out. What makes you not want to bond?”

Louis throws the plate on the ground. “That’s a bit personal, innit?” He laughs. “My mum.”

The air is filled with a sad smell, obviously coming from Louis. Harry resists the urge to wrap his arm around the omega, to comfort him. His stomach is turning in a bad way, and he wants to take back the question.

Before he can, Louis continues, “My mum was bonded three times, twice it failed. Watching her go through the pain of breaking a bond was awful, and I had to protect my siblings from seeing the worst of it. I always…” He sighs. “I always thought I’d be an alpha so I could control when I would get bonded. But then I presented as an omega and I, I don’t know. I guess everything changed and I didn’t want to go through the pain an omega would have to go through if a bond was broken.”

Harry is left speechless, and it’s harder now to not want to console the omega. “Louis…”

“No, don’t do that,” Louis points the plate in his hand he was going to throw at Harry. “You’re not about to feel bad for the poor omega who has trauma. You’re going to smash this plate and you’re going to be mad.”

I always love strong, independent omega louis and this is by far one of my favorite examples of this

5. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

I always love when people respond to my author’s notes at the end. Idk it makes me feel like people actually care about what i’m writing and i’m not just screaming into the void. I have a lot of issues with feeling like my works are liked and/or loved and that people care about what i’m writing, so when people read and respond to my author’s notes, it makes me feel seen.

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

Whenever i get close to a deadline, i start panicking even if i have the fic most of the way finished. So, deadlines man.

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

I wrote two rare pairs this year and one of them included ryan ross! Writing ryan was a challenge since i’ve not written anything that wasn’t larry or phan in years, and i’m very happy with how that fic turned out.

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

I have no idea. Someone tell me how i grew as a writer bc i’m los

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

Hopefully more fics that are of my own will (meaning non fic fest fics, all but one of my fics this year was a fic fest fic, and the one that wasn’t from a fest was an exchange). I have ideas that have been put on the back burner due to fic fests.

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

All of my friends, but especially rei (they don’t use tumblr anymore). I met rei during phandom big bang one year (they were my beta) and, even though they are into kpop and i’m into 1d, rei always listens to my coked up ideas for fics i wanna write and even the fics i read. Love you bro (even though you won’t see this) (jk i'll show this to them)

Bonus mentions for fandom friends are lou (@nouies) and andi (@tommokat). Lou because she is a wonderful person and always gasses me up when needed and andi because she lets me bounce ideas off of her and helps me with my fics.

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

Yes! Defying stars i stole a lot of things from that fic from my real life in high school. Biggest example from that fic is the marching band show from my freshman year, which was also called starcrossed!

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Do not get discouraged if a fic you are excited about doesn’t perform well with readers. Fic in it of itself is self indulgent and as long as you like it, it’s worth writing. If people also enjoy it, then it’s a bonus.

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

I’m writing in my first ever 1d big bang! I don’t want to give out too many details (it involves a non conventional character and i’m deathly terrified of backlash) but it’s a labor of love. I’ve been wanting to write this kind of fic for a long time and i’m glad i have an opportunity to write it.

14. Tag three writers whose answers you’d like to read!

@tommokat @larryatendoftheday and @alwaysxlarrie

*All answers should be about works published in 2023

#o posts #my fic #thank u lou for the tag!#self reflection is hard but i enjoyed it

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eli-writes-sometimes · 7 months

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Incorrect quotes tag

Got tagged by the lovely @fire-but-ashes-too, thanks for that!

So i may have got slightly carried away with this, it's under a cut for a reason

Tagging - @druidx @dogmomwrites @new-royston-cursebreakers @holdmyteaplease @oh-no-another-idea @irisisasleep (do you have ocs? idk but this is funny and i think youd approve) and anyone else who wants to this!

Here's the link to the quote generator I used!

So, this is technically a ships tag, but I only have two main ships (Harper and Luke from Superlosers and Rune and Veronica from PPP) so I did those two as well as their two friend groups because I thought it was funny and got a bit carried away.

Also sorry if the spacing is weird, I did half of thi on mobile and half on desktop

Enjoy!

Luke and Harper:

Luke: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives.

Harper: I wake up at 4:30 AM every day to train.

Luke: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives.

Harper: Act natural.

Luke: For this kind of situation, the most natural thing would be to panic, so technically I can panic.

Harper: NO, that’s not what I meant! Act like it’s a normal day!

Luke: My ‘normal’ days of late, consist of a lot of panic.

Harper: Will you just cooperate?

Luke: When a person is panicking, they are not apt to cooperate very well!

Luke, sweating: Harper, there’s something I need to ask you-

Harper: Finally! You’re proposing!

Luke: How’d you know?

Harper: Luke, you’ve dropped the ring five times during dinner.

Harper: I even picked it up once.

Harper: Are you okay?

Luke, crying: Yeah, it was just the onions.

Harper: *Picks up an onion* What the fuck did you say to Luke?

Harper, skipping rocks on a lake with Luke: It’s such a beautiful evening.

Luke: Yeah, it is.

Luke: *whispering* Take that you fucking lake.

And here's the whole group!

Ivy: What starts with F and ends with Uck?

Asher: No it doesn't.

Harper: Firetruck!

Luke: FUCK!

Luke: *running into the room* Harper just said they don’t love me anymore!

Ivy: What?!

Harper: *following them in* I did not say that. I just said that we are not driving all the way across the country just so you can punch Asher in the face.

*Ivy drunkenly wanders around the house and Harper is drunkenly giggling*

Luke, completely sober: *sighs* Well, looks like it's just me and you against the wold, Asher.

Asher, going to their room: Nope, just you. *shuts door*

*during a group project*

Asher: *does 99% of the work*

Luke: *has no idea what’s going on*

Ivy: *says they’re gonna help but does not*

Harper: *disappears at the very beginning and doesn’t show up again until the very end*

Harper: That's ridiculous, Luke doesn't have a crush on me.

Asher: Yes they do.

Ivy: Yes they do.

Luke: Yes I do.

Ivy: Made you all playlists!

Ivy: Asher, yours has only heavy metal, and is dark like your soul.

Ivy: Luke, yours has sad songs and blues to pair with your crippling depression.

Ivy: And Harper has the ABBA Gold album.

Asher: *sees Luke and Harper together*

Asher: They're cute. I would put them on a boat.

Ivy: You mean... you ship them?

Here's Vera and Rune!

Vera: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response. Rune: Wow. They sound stupid. Vera: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense. Rune: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!” Vera: I guess you’re right. Hey Rune, I love you. Rune: See! Just say that! Vera: Holy fucking shit. Rune: If that flies over their head then, sorry Vera, but they're too dumb for you. Vera: Rune.

Rune: I am so cool. I am an absolute Chad. I am the epitome of coolness and awesomeness— Vera: Hi. Rune: melts down in a flustered heap of softness

Rune: Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night? Vera: It was autocorrect. Rune: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."? Vera: Yes.

Vera: Are you really planning to shoot the demon? Rune: Don't worry, it's a holy gun. Vera: How so? Rune: It makes holes. (thank you quincy morris)

And the whole friend group!

Vera: wow you and Kai are home early from the movies. What happened? Rune: We got kicked out because Kai wouldn't stop yelling diving scores as people jumped off the titanic. Kai: That last guy had a solid 8, I'm telling you!

Vera: So how’s the food Rune made? Kai: It's great! Compliments to them. Vera: goes to the kitchen Vera: You're adorable. Rune: blushes

Vera: We all have our demons. Rune, grabbing Kai: This one’s mine!

Vera: Why did you guys dress up as each other for Halloween? Rune: Kai is the scariest thing I could think of! Kai: Rune told me I should pick the dumbest costume possible.

Kai: Ooh, somebody has a crush Rune: Pfft, I don’t have a crush on Vera I just think they’re cool, it’s not like I stay up at night thinking about them. Later that night Rune, very much awake: Uh oh.

#thanks for the tag!#eli doesnt write sometimes #eli tags sometimes #tag game #incorrect quotes #wip ppp #superlosers #kai ppp #rune ppp #vera ppp #get a load of these losers #<- superlosers group tag

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suns-pott · 2 years

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Losing my mind over the Jazz on the clock music video

So Luxiem's Jazz on the clock music video dropped almost a week ago, and I've noticed they've hidden some things in there. I haven't seen anyone solve it yet and I'm stuck so I'm looking to the internet for help and to compile what I've figured out so far. There's gonna be a million screenshots.

Plot

The plot is made clear to us through the various newspapers shown throughout the video.

Some of it is hard to read but I can make out the messages in order from top to bottom of the middle newspaper:

Lords are on alert.

Luxiem sent a notice to the lords.

Luxiem, a group of thieves causing havoc in the city, is the next target a lord?

A letter of warning sent to the lord.

And to the right I can make out the message:

A succession of security incidents

The number of riots continues to increase

Their news again. Luxiem. a group of thieves who target the mansions of aristocrats and steal their money and goods to give back to the common people.

And another newspaper that reads:

Luxiem, stealing the crown.

Last night Luxiem stole the crown at the clock tower.

Luxiem appears at the clock tower.

With all this we can say Luxiem are like a robin hood kind of group, stealing from rich and giving to the poor. And they decide to steal a crown at a clock tower which seems to be their biggest heist yet.

Hidden messages

There's some numbered sentences sprinkled throughout the video, I have no idea how many there are but the video ends with the number 10 so I think there's 10 of them?? The first newspaper that was shown above has a number one with the message: I wanna live free all the time. Keepin' it reals what we do. As for number 2...

The video starts with this morse code message.

I looked to the comments for people who know morse code and I found a comment by moon?!

So during Ike's first appearance in the video there's this text shown sideways.

2. But I can't do that in this city that has taken over.

Which member would win an arm wrestling competition? What did Mysta say? Go to that person.

The first Luxiem game show was hosted by Mysta some months ago, and I went back and checked who Mysta wrote would win an arm wrestling match, that being Luca. (This screenshot is cropped so none of the members are shown but Ike is on the left and Luca is on the right just believe me ok-)

There's a number 3 on the left with the text: But I can't do that in this city that has taken over. And on the right there's the message: Let's go to the top of the 636c6fb20746f776572.

Now I have no idea what the numbers are, I'm sure it's some kind of code out of the many different ones that exist. So I didn't solve it, I just found it bc of the number.

4. I don't want to see you cry anymore.

Again I have no idea what the jumble of letters and numbers mean but i found number 5 anyway and now that I type this out I am not smart enough to actually solve this-

5. So I take the crown. I'll cast a spell on you give you a taste.

So I'm not sure if there are more numbers, there probably is, but I've rewatched this goddamn video several times and I just don't know where to go from here. And now I'm screaming this into the void for help.

Also I have these and idk what to do with them, I'm sure they will be relevant later but it is 1 am and I am running on 4 hours of sleep already and I should probably sleep.

Miscellaneous

Anyways I'm gonna get some sleep now, thank you for reading this whole ass rant I have going on. I will get back to the regularly scheduled requests in a bit, summer school is kind of kicking my ass at the moment, and writer's block at the same time. I just need to get my ass moving.

#luxiem #jazz on the clock #theory #nijisanji #nijisanji en #shu yamino #mysta rias #luca kaneshiro #vox akuma #ike eveland

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lenteur · 1 year

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HIIIII OMG OMG OMG YOUR REBLOG WAS THE CUTEST THING EVER ❤️ i saw it this morning when i woke up to feed the cats and it made me smile SO WIDE <3 CAT PHOTO IS AT THE BOTTOM 🖤

please whenever you feel the need, just sleep <3 even if it's the middle of the day. try not to stay awake just to sleep at night 💔 i really hope you feel better ❤️

i honestly think idols can pull off the colour pink so well, wish i could dye mine pink but i only suit darker colours of....colours 😂

ikr <3 though i started watching 911 again and i was up til 4am watching it 👀 i know one of the main actresses of glee was revealed to be a bully behind scenes which idk didn't surprise me tbh. i used to love her as an actress but her interviews felt so off to me </3 i really hate bullies 😡😡😡

IM SO SO HAPPY YOU LOVED IT <3 i was actually really struggling with your gift because i was seeing other peoples and i felt like mine wasn't great but then i remembered you saying how the gift was us getting to know each other and that you'd be happy with anything 🖤 i'm really happy you like it <3

BESTIES 4 LYF ❤️ also!!!! tea and biscuits. my favourite snack <3 i'm gonna hopefully start watching a kdrama on friday, bc from then to tuesday, i'm off work so i'll have some time to relax 🥰

i was waiting for you to reply before i posted the gift, i didn't want to post it and then i had to let you reply to an anon. 🖤 you've been so so so kind to me and i just love you already ❤️ i'm so EXCITED to talk more!! 💎

Toffee on the left! Luna on the right ❤️

hey hey hey 💖 of course! it was a great surprise to finally know who you are 💗 now that i've looked at your blog, i can see all the little clues you left during our conversations. especially the wednesday and criminal minds stuff haha

tysm for thinking of me 💕 i am trying my best at taking care of myself but thankfully my mom is with me and she's such a huge help 💝

ah staying up until 4am to watch something reminds me of my teenage years 👀 even if i wanted to i wouldn't be able to do so now </3 which is a good thing hehe oh really? 😡 i mean i'm not surprised either but i'm getting tired of all these celebrities thinking they're better than others. it happens everywhere but, when in a group (ie a show, a group of singers, etc.), there always seems to be one who wants the spotlight to themselves. it's getting repetitive 💔 i already have a hard time getting into a show, but seeing stuff like that, it's no wonder i don't want to watch new shows anymore. i don't have time for drama. i just want to enjoy what i watch in peace, but this makes it hard sigh

i know i wrote a novel in the tags but it's really really pretty 💟 the fact that you took time out of your day to make something for me means a lot. you'll never have to worry about something like that with me 💖 and let me reiterate: our friendship is the true gift 💘

oh if you start the kdrama (or is it a jdrama? cdrama? tdrama?) please let me know which one it is 💓 i'm hoping i can start watching summer strike either tomorrow or this weekend because the premise (and all the gifs i've seen) is really interesting and i think i'll like it 💞

i had a feeling you were waiting for me to answer. i also wanted to answer the last anon message before you revealed yourself or else it would've stayed in my inbox forever hehe💕

OK. okok! i was waiting to answer the rest of your ask before talking more in depth about my new cats toffee and luna (yes, by revealing your cats to me, you are now contractually obligated to share custody of your pets i'm not kidding! jk) UM EXCUSE ME? YOU SHOULD'VE TOLD ME YOU HAD THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CATS IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!!! like they're so pretty they could be on the cover of vogue, elle, harper's bazaar, any other magazines (my fashion knowledge is limited lmao) 😻 if your friendship wasn't enough (which it is), seeing toffee and luna made this event 124877523368751222222565457426545214852485x better (won't bother deciphering this number but just know it's a lot!) wowowowooooooooooooooooooooooooooowowowowowowowowow! user lenteur is currently disfunctioning </3 cause? (Y)OUR CATS 😻😻😻

#lettre #lovely mutuals #if you want your own emoji please lmk or i can choose one for you?#anyway i'm so thankful for this event because i got to know you (and your cats hehe)

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nathank77 · 5 days

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5/16/24

6:16 p.m Edited/ Added to 6:26 p.m

I fell asleep fast on the half MG of xanax and a hydroxyzine 25MG around 7 a.m or 7:15 a.m. I woke up at like 2:30. I didn't sleep after that despite trying but I didn't want to take Benadryl and miss therapy. So I gave up around 3:30 p.m

So i had therapy at 4:45 p.m. I haven't heard back about the Kristen complaint. Yesterday and some of today I've had horrible flashbacks to Nala and to just psychosis.

Last night I basically watched family guy all night. Today idk what to do. I was going to do laundry but my mother always hogs the machines... and I haven't been able to use a towel to dry off for like 3 days so far...

I got to shower and shave my head but I may skip it. I showered yesterday and shaved my face..

I might try to see if I can get the hdcp bypasser to work before I return it back to Walmart and then buy another one from Ebay or just try to buy a regular hdmi splitter and see if that allows the, "handshake" but idk...

Also I might play fc2 or fc4 but idk. My clippers are Contaminated bc of contact with puss.... for at least another 7 days.. maybe I'll shave with a razor instead. I don't want to wash my clippers or use hand sanitizer as they rust them...

I may just watch family guy all day. I'm fucking lonely and I'm thinking about going back to Stacey. She's pretty. She's crazy and she will take me as I am. We can have kids cause she has money. She saves and is great with money. She saved up for a 60k car and paid out of pocket.

I mean I won't be happy but at least I'll have someone to talk to everyday and video chat or talk on the phone with once a day and I'll have someone to spend my weekends with...

Beyond that I don't expect to find anyone and actually be happy. Maybe I was right 10 years ago when I thought, about breaking up with her but my other thought was- what if I can't find someone else to love me?

Idk. I'm getting desperate. Not desperate enough to truly settle. I won't be settling on appearance.... I'll be settling on personality.. and the fact that she made more than a few transphobic remarks..

But I mean I have a feeling I'll be settling no matter what. Whether it's a life of loneliness or a life with Stacey or some other girl i haven't met yet.

Stacey was thoughtful and wrote sweet things to me. It fulfilled one of my love languages and she takes my mom as she is and loves her. She loves my dad. She was a part of the family. Most people can't stand my mother and can't stand my sister. She didn't like my sister but I'm sure they could put that in the past. It's a real consideration.

Me and Stacey could do artifical insemination. I could be on a birth certificate as the father. She would take my last name. We could get a house. She'd be fine with me being a stay at home dad. I mean it could work.

Also I have my disability appt tomorrow at 1:30 p.m. I'm going to take melatonin 2MG, hydroxyzine 25MG, and 1MG of xanax at around 4 a.m.... I hope I fall asleep fast and wake up around 12 or 12:30. If I can make it I might go to New Hampshire after bc it'll be done at 2:30 p.m and I could get out the door by 3 p.m or 3:30 the latest...

I'm anxious I wont wake up on time or fall asleep fast enough... if I don't I'll reschedule and I'll go grocery shopping and do new Hampshire Saturday unless I wake up at like 2:30 and then I may go to new Hampshire anyways cause I never wake up that early with 7 hours of sleep.

I'm going to try not to worry about it as I can always reschedule and I'll make it work eventually but I truly hope I can do it tomorrow and see how much back pay I'm entitled to and hopefully get it for June 1st.

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mylittlesecrethaven · 4 months

Text

Bsd Is Kinda A Genius Anime: Pt 3

I think I had a plan for these next few posts, but I can't remember them, so Ima do what I want.

Since these groups are so small, I'm doing both.

Today it's Decay of Angels (which has three different names depending on if you watch the dub, sub, or look at the Fandom, so wtf?) and Hunting Dogs.

So let's do it!

(FUCK IT, IT'S LATE I'M ONLY DOING DECAY OF ANGELS! I'LL DO HUNTING DOGS NEXT TIME I'M TIRED AND I WANNA FINISH THIS I'M SO SORRY BUT I AM BRAIN FRIED)

(Emm... two things. I'm aware that Decay of Angels gets its name from a novel, but unless that's brought up in a character, I'm not going over it. Also, Kamui and Ochi Fukuchi are the same person? Soooo.... I'll go over him with Decay of Angels I guess....)

Ochi Fukuchi

Ability: Mirror Lion

The Fandom actually didn't have much on this guy's RLC, so Ima try my best, but no guarantees since it's fucking 10:30 and this is my last post of the night. ---- I still can't find much actually about him. Even his Wiki page (yes, I use Wikipedia) is lacking. I do know about his ability counterpart though. Mirror Lion is a play written by his RLC about a woman who's practicing a lion dance for New Year's, and because she becomes so engrossed in it, the spirit of the lion enters her. Just thinking about this, it is similar to his actual ability. He makes his weapons stronger, a lot like what you'd expect if the spirit of a lion entered somebody. I couldn't find anything talking about his RLC having a connection to this guy's reason for leading both the Hunting Dogs and the Decay of Angels. (I don't know his reason in the show, I'm only on episode 4.) Not much to go on really. Not a good start.

Bram Stoker

Ability: Infection

He's a vampire?! Wtf?! Ohhhh.... I get it. Ok. His RLC wrote Dracula. Makes sense. Makes sense. His RLC is also Irish, so I kinda wonder if his VA does an accent like Fyodor's does. Anyway, you can see the symbolism, yes? Dracula is a vampire, and apparently Bram is impaled, relating to Vlad the Impaler, who was the inspiration for Dracula. Easy-peasy.

Fyodor Dostoevsky

Ability: Crime And Punishment

And now to the man himself. I've been interested in doing this for him since I talked about his ability. So let's see what I can find. His RLC wrote a lot of dark and gritty books involving human emotions and psychology. (I know what author I'm looking for in the library next.) This fits how Fyodor acts pretty well. You'd expect books like that to revolve around someone like Fyodor. Hmmm... I just looked at a summary of "Crime And Punishment," and I found.... nothing. It's about this poor guy who plans to kill an old woman with a lot of valuables and steal them, but after he does that, he's wracked with guilt, and goes through a ton of mental anguish, and he has to live through the consequences of his deed. This... doesn't do anything for figuring out his ability. I know Fyodor's ability can let him manipulate people's memories, and that's connected to the book, but it doesn't help figure out who his ability affects or how he can control it! So for now, I'm gonna stick with the idea that Fyodor can't kill gifteds, because I can't find anything or anyone talking about the gifteds he's killed with his ability. Moving on the book that inspired the Rats in the House of the Dead, "The House of the Dead," it's a semi-autobiographical novel about a fictional person going through life in a Siberian prison camp, based loosely on Fyodor's RLC's time in a forced-labor prison camp. Emmm..... Idk. I guess it kinda connects to the fact that the group was really temporary? Idk. I'm getting brain fried right now, so if anybody has any idea for connections to the Rats in the House of the Dead, lemme know.

Nikolai Gogol

Ability: The Overcoat

Oh shit, he's Ukranian? I thought the name was Russian. My bad. Oh, wait, his RLC is a Russian of Ukranian origin. I don't understand what that means, but whatever. His RLC wrote a ton of books, usually all tragedy with slight shifts in genre, such as political tragedies and tragecomedies. "The Overcoat" was a short story written by Nikolai's RLC about.... oh shit this book is insane. It's about this poor man who's made fun of for his coat at work, so he obsesses over saving money and buying a new one. He finally does and shows it off so happily, but on his way home he gets beat up by two ruffians and they steal his coat. The police won't help him, and after being recommended to ask by someone else at work, he asks a higher up at work, only to be yelled at for disturbing the higher up with a trivial matter. A little afterwards, the man falls ill and dies. A ghost is soon seen around the city taking people's overcoats, and it's the man's ghost. The police can't catch him. He finds the higher up who yelled at him and spooks him, then steals his overcoat. His ghost isn't seen again. The story ends by talking about another ghost sighting, which meets the description of one of the ruffians. Insane, right? Which I guess fits Nikolai. Anyway, his ability really comes from what another author said about the book, which was "We all came out from under Gogol's Overcoat." So.... yeah.

Sigma

Ability: Information Exchange

My last one and then I can sleep..... please.... sleep.... Wait. This guy doesn't have an RLC. What? Oh. So apparently he has memory loss, which could be the link to him not having an RLC? Idk.

Anyway, next I'll be doing Hunting Dogs. That should be fun.

(I really need to stop doing these right before I go to sleep. *sigh*)

#bsd #bungo stray dogs #anime

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ocean-anchored · 1 year

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Dear future self…. May 23, 23

I have had no time to actually sit down and write these last few weeks… I’m currently sitting in a pub (Newcastle) watching the knights slay Dallas in the semi finals. Currently 4-0 third game.

Anyways. It’s been an eventful last few weeks to say the least. I know I already wrote about Zack. That was so unintentional to happen. I legitimately wasn’t looking for someone, especially another person considering I had Mitch after me, Justin, John & Then Shane all while I “had my eye” on Jeremiah.

I think I was more just excited about Jeremiah because he was Christian & we had lots in common. Over time of hanging out though I realized that he still didn’t really know me. Didn’t really ever ask many questions to get to know me so loosing interest was inevitable. Great guy, want to keep him as a friend but just couldn’t see a future really. Plus I never got any signs of actually feeling like he was interested.

I stumbled upon Zack and we had great conversation. He asked me out within about a week so we went to virtual golf cause the weather sucked. Turned out to be an amazing date honestly. The conversation never stopped, it was all back & forth questions of truly getting to know each other. There certainly was a fire. Not a spark, but a fiery passion boiling in me. I was so nervous & yet so comfortable all at the same time, it was different.

The self awareness on that man, I tell ya. He might not be perfect & might have a rough past but I can say the same really. I did my share of damage & partying. Since that Sunday night that he came over we spent every night together till he left Friday morning for BC for two days. Then Saturday night we have spent ever since night together since (it’s now been 8 days?). We’ve had some really amazing conversations. Some that he’s opened his heart so much to me. Truly has made me feel so comfortable, so safe. I’ve had a few (by few I mean literally one or two) moments that I’ve maybe questioned & wondering A what the fuck am I doing falling in love so fast & B is this even real? Am I really this person to him? Do we really feel the same way? It mind boggles me.

Currently still 4-0. I didn’t mention but I am here alone actually, which I’m proud of cause I didn’t even hesitate thinking when I walked down here to watch the game alone but I can feel myself feel more confident & it’s great. I really don’t want to loose that independence & feeling of self worth towards myself & not allowing myself to need to get that elsewhere. Anyways. Tonight’s been one night that I’ve been hesitating. Questioning. Waiting & wondering if this is too good to be true. I really don’t want to wear him down with seeing me so much. It’s really hard with his schedule because he’s “on call” basically for driving so he could get a call & be gone for a couple days but the last time I left my schedule open in hopes that the person I was interested in wanted to see me it turned out toxic & bad. It made me feel horrible let alone the disappointment. I really don’t want that to happen again. I really do want to see him every day, but I also want him to miss me & want to make that time.

Fuck idk. I just need to chill man. I’ve fallen literally head over heels. I’ve literally given my entire trust to him & I do honestly truly him 100%. More than I’ve ever trusted any guy which also scares the fucking SHIT out of me… to be that vulnerable. Ugh. But then when I vocalize that to him he reassures me & says the same things that I’m thinking & want to hear. His actions definitely line up with his words, something a lot of the men in the past have not done successfully.

I just don’t want to be broken again. I feel like I couldn’t handle another true, deep heartbreak. I was sad over Nate last year & somewhat sad over richardt but not much. Honestly I was more checked out with both of them before they were & it made it easier with the way they reacted & treated me after but I just feel like this one could break me. This one could really make me feel like I never want to love again. Never want to be open again.

My anxiety creates so many lies & sometimes they get so blurred with the truth. I don’t want to fuck this up. I don’t want to be fucked around.

We’ve literally had the most amazing & best last few weeks. We went to Canmore this last weekend & went out to a bar the Friday night & ended up having such an amazing night together. Every time we go out, I’m laughing, I’m blushing, im head over heels. It’s honestly crazy how feelings can change so much from person to person. You keep thinking “man this is the happiest, this is the most comfortable I’ve ever felt” and then you meet someone else & you say the same thing again & its like a constant wonder if what im feeling is even right because how could I have thought I was so comfortable with Richardt? But then again it’s completely different. Im not just an accessory to Zack. Im not “fitting” into his life & being told where to show up. Zack actually treats me as an equal, he genuinely not only likes the same things I do but wants to do things that I want to do. He really makes me feel safe. It’s so damn scary.

#ZP #personal #dear future self #life update #journaling #dearfutureself

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dzpenumbra · 1 year

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4/30/23

Last night was difficult.

I don't think I mentioned it in my journal, maybe I did and I don't remember, idk, I'm going to tell the story anyway. I was watching a Red Dead stream last night and a girl who had been a subscriber in that channel for 7 consecutive years accidentally wrote a private message into the Twitch chat. And I mean really private.

(side note - ctrl+b, which is used for bold is right between ctrl+v [paste] and ctrl+n [new window in chrome]. And the undo on Tumblr is fucked. So... just... gonna point out how frustrating and inconvenient that is if you just slightly miss the b key and suddenly you either have a new window pop up or a paragraph of text just appears.)

This chick posted about like... really bad medical news. Like organ disease news. That she got that day. And she immediately asked mods to delete it, because she couldn't. And no one did. And there were like over 1000 people in there. And then these assholes started copying and pasting her message. At first just one. Then one who spent "channel points" to actually highlight the copied message. Then like 5 more. It... was really disturbing. Like... I struggle to see any humor in it, and I have a pretty open mind about humor. It really felt like someone saying "haha look, this chick has cancer!" As though... anyone is going to laugh about that...

Now... I know a thing or two about humor. Humor used to be my primary coping mechanism. And most humor is just that, it's a way of diffusing something incredibly uncomfortable or painful, and transforming it into something funny, something palatable. Something positive, even. And sometimes that can be a... compulsion for some people, a reflex, that they're not even really conscious of. But there's a skill to doing that. It takes effort, it takes practice, it takes skill. And there is nothing... buckle the fuck up, I'm going loud here... THERE IS NOTHING FUCKING LAZIER THAN COPYING AND PASTING SOMETHING AND CALLING IT FUNNY. <catches breath> Okay, just had to get that out. People man, I just don't understand. Do these fucking imbeciles really lack the brain cells to understand that making a joke about a serious medical condition should... I dunno... maybe be handled a little more tactfully than treating it like retweeting a fucking meme or something?

Again, I am not against jokes that test the line, and even outright cross it. At all. Pushing those boundaries is important, in its own way. But there's a goddamn reason why we only had one Don Rickles. There's a reason we had one South Park. One Jackass. There is an art to pushing boundaries, and it requires skill, charisma and confidence. And these people had none of the above. They were just... schoolyard bullies, trying to impress other schoolyard bullies. They were literally grown-ass schoolyard bullies, likely piss drunk at 4AM, watching a 38 year old man pretend to be a cowboy in a video game, and stumbled across what was pretty obviously a private message between a long-standing paying community member and likely a family member... and they decided they wanted to pants her in front of class. Like... this is a fucking cartoon of schoolyard bully behavior. And people were fucking laughing! People were like... chuckling and going along with it

I... I pulled up a private message to her. And I typed out "hey, what they're doing is really not cool and I'm really sorry all this is happening to you. It's really fucked up." And... I didn't send it. Any other lifetime, I would have sent it. But I didn't. And I don't even know why I don't anymore. I definitely didn't stand up for her in chat. I didn't even support her behind closed doors. But when she put a message in chat saying it was fucked up? I immediately tagged her and sent a heart emoji, like... lightning speed, to show she has my support. I just... I feel bad. It's self preservation, it has to be. Like... I don't want this mob turning on me... So I don't stick up for the grown adult that's being bullied by grown adults. Because there are people there whose job it's supposed to be to moderate that, and they were asleep at the wheel, and... I didn't want to overstep, and they sure as shit won't respect my opinion if I don't have a sword icon next to my name.

And the streamer, when he noticed? He chuckled. And was like, "come on guys, knock it off..." Like... it was a bunch of kids playing in the backyard by throwing knives at the dog or something, and that's his response. It made me super uncomfortable. That and the shit that went down in his Discord? Blatantly saying "we're mob-mentality around here, okay?" And the Native American character he made, and how... really insensitive he was with it... and how he pretty obviously got reported several times on it but straight up lied to his audience about it and has doubled-down so many times I can't even count. "Nah nah nah, Moondance isn't going anywhere guys, I'll play him whenever I want, I just don't feel like it tonight..." RIIIGHHHTTT... I just... I'm really turned off by it.

Fuck the internet, man. The internet is very blatantly advertising directly to children, who are the most profitable demographic on the internet, if you weren't aware... and Twitch specifically has developed a wagering system with fake internet points that you accumulate by spending time watching a streamer (more time = more ads = more $$ for Twitch = more fake points for the kids). And they call them. Get this. Tell me this isn't disgustingly corporate Amazon cliché. They call them "Predictions". It's not gambling marketed towards children to keep them on a website that makes money off of feeding them ads, no no no, it's placing a wager on a "Prediction". I'm not gambling on what the outcome is, with a payout ratio identical to a fucking horse track, nope, I'm just predicting what the outcome is going to be and if I get it right I get a neat prize! They specifically market their site to children. How have they not gotten this shut down yet?!

Okay, got a bit of that out of my system. Why the fuck am I telling this story from last night? Well... I had a night terror. I got about 4-5 hours of sleep, and I had a super intense nightmare. It was very vivid, but I didn't remember much except for the last bit. And... it took me a bit of journaling (I did dream journal, so yay on that) to really start to understand what it was about. I might as well paint a picture for you, it was super vivid and deeply meaningful for me.

I was in a location that represented my parents' basement. I grew up in that house from the ages of 11-18, very formative years. My parents are closeted hoarders, they hide it well. The basement was where everything went. I was down there with someone else, I don't remember who it was. I had found a book that was for me, that I felt bad I hadn't read because, when I was down there and started reading it, it was really interesting. It was part of a series, and it was an exploration and interpretation of the Bible through historical record, plausible science and comparison with other cultural ideologies/mythologies. It was... really cool, and right up my alley. Almost like something I would write, if I felt qualified. I read the part about Genesis I and as I was reading... I got that thing I get sometimes where the mental imagery gets really vivid. And this moment was really disorienting in a dream, and is even disorienting just trying to process how it even happened, because I was... dreaming... which is my imagination, my subconscious mind... and then within that dream I was reading a text and... my subconscious in the dream was conceptualizing the text visually. It was like a Russian Nesting Doll of subconscious visualization, it's absolutely mind-boggling that that's even possible. And this visualization was... essentially an early proto-Earth colliding with a very water-dense celestial object. My brain interpreted this very metaphorically, like big blob of water. And then the combination of these two qualities ended up nurturing an environment like hydrated and nutrient enriched soil. Again, a metaphor, like... water and collision were huge components in setting off the chain reaction that resulted in... life. And... there was some part in the text that was referring... where either that water-dense body or the proto-Earth likely came from. I don't really remember the details on that.

And then... after that... I remember the person I was with upsetting the streamer (who was there with a bunch of his friends in-character), and they left. And after I read and visualized all of that, as though I had read it out loud... he kinda knew. Honestly, I'm struggling to remember it, I'm going to get the journal real quick to refresh.

Okay, it looks like even in the journal right after I woke up I wasn't sure what had upset the streamer and the people he was with. I was reading that passage in the book in the moments leading up to him getting upset and leaving. The book had this section in it that was like MadLibs... like a simple mini-test to sorta... jog and concretize your memory of what the previous passage was about, so you could sorta... use your own brain to make the connections rather than just reading his wording. So, like... I wasn't sure if I upset him, or he witnessed the surreal visual experience I had and it upset him (because it was super vivid, like panic attack vivid, and very emotional), or maybe he knew what I read and that upset him? Maybe I accidentally read out loud and didn't realize? Or... maybe the person I was with upset him... Which, with this much time between me and the dream, seems like the most likely factor... But, either way, he got upset and left. Then... I could sorta... sense through the ceiling and walls in an almost x-ray kinda way that he was like... glaring at me. In a... judgmental, suspicious, skeptical way. In a "I'm on to you..." way. In a witch-hunty Inquisition kinda way. And that set off a massive panic response that immediately woke me up.

You know what? I reflected on this when I woke up, and it's actually really well put for 4 hours of sleep coming out of a panic attack. <pats self on back> So I'm just gonna transcribe it. Fuck it.

"I felt like I needed to impress him, and like I fucked up... which was embarrassing but passed quickly... but that turned into... genuine concern that I was in danger. Like lynching kinda danger, mob violence danger. And that's because I witnessed that last night. And the chick who was being bullied? She was like me. This crowd? These streamers? I keep gravitating towards confident bullies. Andrew Santino types. They're very talented, but their skill is a coping mechanism developed through trauma and conflict. Unprocessed trauma, typically. Because the coping mechanism is their greatest gift, and really their whole life and identity are built on it. I gravitate towards that talent. Being this aware of how these people think (because I was one of them) and how much influence they have, how followers will blindly obey them and they have thousands, made me scared of... as that guy so poetically said in my Twitch chat "(being) thrown in a river with a mill stone tied to (me)." For learning, and exploring ideas that they may consider heretical. But, more specifically, sharing them and being associated with them."

So... you can imagine how hard writing a journal entry like this can be sometimes. It feels really serious and risky, and really silly at the same time. It's not like the context I'm referring to is even... heretical, really... if anything it's trying to prove the Bible's validity! But... I've just seen a lot of dark shit in my study of humanity. A lot of dark, ignorant, zealous things that people do. And seeing that mob mentality last night? It just brought me back to that same old familiar fear. And that shit sticks, and can be hard to shake.

I'm getting really tired, so I want to kinda wrap up, so let me get to the crux of all of this.

Besides the obvious, this journal and this post, why would I be so anxious about sharing my personal beliefs publicly? 1). Family-induced trauma, let's just get that out of the way, so that explains the life-shattering severity. But the focus - I made my desire path project public today. I posted it. It was my only goal for the day. And I did it.

I put it on YouTube. It currently has 3 views and no one has watched it all the way through. I fucking hate analytics and I don't want to watch them anymore. So fucking stupid, as though you have any control over whether people give a fuck about your work. Yikes.

Then, I went into this whole pros and cons list of posting the full project on Instagram. Insta won't let you link shit, and I wanted to keep my videos all on YT because... habit, I guess? Maybe because my Rimworld series is still over there and I was hoping someone might actually give a fuck about that again someday. But after a long time going over it, I decided instead of trying to direct people to go to my profile, then go to my YT link... fuck that. I'm just going to post it there in full, too. And I did. And the grand reception? I got 2 likes. And a comment from my former "best friend", my former goddaughter's mother. And I do appreciate the sentiment. It's just been hard to process those memories.

I always wanted to be a dad. And in my 20's, I got to be her nanny for most of the week when she was around 1 year old. I was working nights and inverting my sleep schedule to drive up an hour each way to watch her during the week. I still have a picture from when I got there one day and comedically, melodramatically collapsed onto the couch in exhaustion and actually fell asleep with my legs hanging in the air off the couch and shit, right next to my goddaughter who was also passed out. And she fired me. Because I didn't "take her outside enough", which she never instructed me to do or taught me how to do. Not to mention the fact that she never paid me once, and I just... didn't ask for money? Because I was trying to be nice? Because both her and her husband were like... not parenting their infant child and just going and working jobs instead, while I watched their kid for them.

Meh, enough about that. See what it does to my head though? Nostalgia is nice... sometimes... but it can be bitter, and if you have an especially dicey past, it can turn sour real quick. So... I do appreciate her sentiment, she left a really kind compliment that seems sincere. And the emotional processing from the past? That's my job, I gotta just remember... that's in the past. I just... I feel bad for my goddaughter, and I miss her. She was the closest thing to a daughter I've ever had, besides my dog and cat, of course. The closest thing to a human daughter I've ever had. And she may not have a great role model for like... healthy emotional regulation. And I worry about her. And I do kinda feel like... that's kinda part of the godfather thing, to step up and like... be there. But at this point? I was envisioning this when I was making dinner. I feel like if I ever even do that, I'm going to be the uncle or aunt figure at the family dinner that they haven't seen in 10 years and pulls the teenage kid aside and goes "you know, I used to change your diapers, do you remember me? No? It's okay, well... if you ever need to like... talk or anything, I'm always here for you." And they'll wince through the awkwardness and then go off and play something on their phone and sigh and mutter "weirdo". But like... is it worse to not even try?

That's a quandary for another day, I just went down that line of thought because I was kinda imaginatively strategizing what might happen if my former friend messaged me. To... prepare myself.

So yeah, lots of ups and downs today. Sleep deprivation, panic, nap, social media strategy, posted the video, made dinner, watched streams, Risk of Rain, journal, and off to bed we go.

Gonna try to sneak a quick shower in before bed, screw it, see if that helps with more relaxing sleep.

To end on a more uplifted note... The Path was one of the more ambitious projects I've taken on. It was very new, super conceptual, very "risky" regarding whether anyone would "get it", also very tedious and demanding. I did the 100 runs in Minecraft, with 3 screenshots per run. I hand-drew each path, twice. I animated each path individually. I composed, played and recorded 12 minutes of original music for 4 guitars, bass and drums. I wrote the script, I recorded the voiceover (on Easter day!). I hand-drew and animated the parts of the voiceover that I couldn't really figure out what to put under, as though they were being drawn on a whiteboard. I shot cinematic B-roll in Minecraft, Google StreetView and a real life National Park. I edited it all together.

And now... it's done.

Fuck crowd reception, this was months in the making. I am goddamn proud of myself.

#diary #journal #online journal #stream of consciousness #stream of thoughts

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tara-myra · 2 years

Text

There’s two things I love . Musicals and Miraculous (well there’s more but you get the idea ) So long time ago I created a playlist

Lila- World burn

« I wanna watch the world burn

I got the gasoline

I wanna watch the world burn

And everyone get mean »

This is THE song that gave me the idea. World burn fits Lila so well , That girls just want chaos . The song emphasizes perfectly her hate for Cady and I think it’s the same for Lila’s hate toward Marinette

« Cady, time to watch your back

Cady, time to turn and cough

Because you took me down

But you didn't finish me off »

I was actually almost disappointed when I realize no one did an animatic of this song with Lila Rossi

Marinette - Helpless

« I'm helpless!

He's mine, that boy is mine!

Look into your eyes

And the sky's the limit, I'm

Helpless! Helpless!

Down for the count, and I'm drownin' in 'em »

It’s just our girl being sooo into Adrien . I could totally see her sing that song . I know she is more than just a teen being in love but I find this song really catchy and joyful and that sort of match Marinette’s vibes . The other songs I thought of was « Surface Pressure » ( especially after season 4) but I can’t really count it as a musical even if Lin Manuel Miranda wrote it .

Adrien - Dead mom

« Hey mom, dead mom

I need a little help here

I'm prob'ly talking to myself here

But dead mom, I gotta ask

Are you really in the ground?

'Cause I feel you all around me

Are you here, dead mom?

Dead mom

I'm tired of trying to iron out my creases

I'm a bunch of broken pieces

It was you who made me whole

Every day dad's staring at me

Like all, "Hurry up, get happy

Move along

Forget about your mom"

'Cause daddy's in denial

Daddy doesn't wanna feel

He wants me to smile

And clap like a performing seal

Ignored it for a while

But daddy's lost his mind for real

You won't believe the mess that we've become »

I couldn’t make it shorter this fit Adrien so well especially the « Are you really in the ground , cause I feel you all around » Sweet irony …💀

Marc x Nathanael - Sincerely me

« Our friendship goes beyond

Your average kind of bond

But not because we're gay

No, not because we're gay »

I knooow there’re plenty other songs but idk , they kinda match the energy of this one . Also they like to invent and write .

Alya x Nino - Black-out

«Don’t make me laugh, I’ve been trying all night , You’ve been shaking your ass for half of the heights

Real nice

You barely gave me a chance all evening

What

Do I get another dance

I’m leaving »

Honestly I chose this one for the voices , If Nino would have a singing voice it would definitely be Anthony Ramos . Also this part especially reminded me this couple . I feel like Nino is really possessive toward Alya because of his own insecurities ( as we can see in Rocketears) and I would totally see them arguing during a disaster with all the parisians people screaming and panicking in the background .

Zoe - Alyssa Green

« But your feelings have to be phony

Your weight has to be tracked

If you don't like shaking pom poms

You'd better learn to act

Just have everything perfected

By the time you reach eighteen

Don't ask how or why when you're Alyssa Greene »

I feel like it’s a song that could fit her especially considering the pressure her mom put in her shoulders to be someone else . It’s hard to chose a part honestly ALL the song fits Zoe

Félix - hurricane (The one from Death note and NOT from Hamilton)

« I’ll bring the pain

So be afraid

I will bring the power of the hurricane

Am the God of a brave new world

Much better than the last

The time for talking is finally in the past »

First ; Jeremy Jordan’s voice would have fit Félix so perfectly (again if the character has to sing). Secondly, It fit Felix’s god complex.

Chloé - Candy Store

« Honey what you waitin' for?

Welcome to my candy store

Time for you to prove you're not a loser

Anymore

And step into my candy store

Guys fall

At your feet

Pay the check

Help you cheat

All you

Have to do

Say goodbye

To Shamu

That freak's

Not your friend

I can tell

In the end »

Especially when it say « Say goodbye to Shamu » I feel like it’s exactly what Chloe could have sing when she welcomed her sister at her school (and when she realized this one befriended Marinette Dupain Cheng)

Gabriel and Emily - Our love is god

«I worship you

I'd trade my life for yours

We'll make them disappear

We'll plant our garden here

Our love is God »

That’s exactly them . I feel like they would have this weird relationship Veronica and JD has . Gabriel himself said he wants to rebuilt a world for him and Emily . Emily is his everything.

Harry Clown - Gay or european

« (All)

Gay or European?

So many shades of gray

(Warner)

Depending on the time of day

The French go either way »

Now we all collectively agreed the clown banged Gabriel Agreste during college …

Bonus Chat Blanc dead girl walking

« I wish your mom had been a little stronger

I wish she stayed around a little longer

I wish your dad were good!

I wish grown-ups understood!

I wish we'd met before

They convinced you life is war!

I wish you'd come with me—

[J.D.]

I wish I had more TNT! »

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thomotomo · 2 years

Text

Part 2 of that short WinterSpider fic I wrote at like 10 pm - there will be a 3rd part ofc

Peter had the jitters all day, he itched to call the man or at least send him a message but he tried to not lose himself in his reveries to make the most of his time with his friends enjoyable.

That night, when Peter was in his bed, unable to sleep as usually at this time he was making his patrol around the Queens. Peter took out the paper he had put on his nightstand and decided it would be a good time to send a message to James.

"Hey!"

"It's Peter :) "

"The guy who knocked into you at the market today."

"I mean- I'm the guy who knocked into you today. Peter's just my name!"

In his panic or excitement, Peter had sent 4 messages and as he read them again, felt ashamed. He wanted to sent another message telling the man to ignore all of his previous messages and Peter was turning into am anxious mess until

"Aah the pretty boy ;)"

"I was wondering when you'd send me a message~"

Upon reading this Peter could feel his face burning and he was quite sure he had turned a bright shade of red. Peter quickly wrote back, not wanting to pass on the occasion.

"Sorry i was occupied visiting the town with my friends."

"How do you like it so far?"

"I really like it, it's different from New York and the old buildings are really cool to watch! Though i have yet to visit some museums."

"Glad you like it. If you want I can show you some places I really like. What do you say?"

That made Peter's brain stutter. Was he proposing him to go on a kind of date? He read the text again and again, not knowing whether or not it was an actual date or if he'd just received some addresses to visit. He hesitated for a few seconds more before shooting back a text that clearly wasn't one he'd usually sent to someone he's interested in.

"Is that a date? ;) "

"Yes."

"I have to admit you surprised me there. Didn't thought you'd have it in you to be daring haha."

Peter grinned, and he could feel his cheek hurts from how wide the smile etched on his face and he quickly texted back.

"I have my moments haha :3 When would you like to meet up?"

"Idk do you have a time limit you have to be back with you pals?"

"Erm... I'd say 6pm."

"Well that leaves us quite the time. What do you say about meeting up at 2pm at the market entrance? I think 4 hours is plenty to visit some places.", Peter beamed as he read the text. He was going to spend some time with the man. He could almost felt himself shake due to the excitement it was generating in him.

"That works for me. I'm excited to see you tomorrow :)"

"Same doll."

Peter found himself at a loss of words. Should he send him a good night message? He suddenly felt quite tired so maybe he should before he falks asleep on the spot.

"I'm tired. Have a good night! I'll se you tomorrow then! ^^"

"Thanks pretty! Sweet dreams :)"

Peter was close from squealing. James was quite the charmer it seemed and it was nearly a given he'd dream about this tall, dark and handsome man tonight. As he fell asleep he thought he'd had to tell MJ and Ned about his plans for the afternoon to avoid giving them a heart attack.

Peter couldn't help it and his last conscious thought was about James and the hand that was on his lower back going further down south.

_______________

Next part will be quite sinful hehe~

I hope you're all having good holidays and if not you can vent to me whenever you see it fit <3 Take care y'all!

#winterspider #bucky x peter #peter parker #bucky barnes

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1kook · 4 years

Text

imax & climax

summary; The occasional dark horse candidate among Barbie movie binges— Jungkook gets weirdly horny and fucks you to the tune of a classic Barbie movie soundtrack. warnings; fingering, blowjobs, tit play, praise kink, standing sex, unprotected sex, reverse cowgirl kinda idk lol, daddy kink that morphs into i love u kink tags; jk is an avid history channel viewer, jk hates Barbie movies ik we took an L today girls 😔, jk goes thru like 4 personality changes (commanding > soft > mean > in love), honestly idk what to tag it’s a mess, he’s still cheesy and romantic but also 👀 just read word count; 9.8k

notes; there is no rest for the wicked, aka miss 1kook writes another part for this fic i swore wasn't gonna be a series except this time we ditch the gentlemen persona and go into maximum overdrive. its not proofread bc i wrote this entire thing at 4 am last night after inhaled a whole bucket of spicy popcorn

[ part 1 ; netflix & chill ] [ part 2 ; hulu & wohoo ]

Jungkook sees it on display during your weekly Target trip. You know he won’t say anything because despite how long you’ve dated he still likes to pretend he’s the epitome of adult maturity. Yet the way his eyes linger over the electronics section, cart rolling to a stop in front of the massive screen, tells you all you need to know.

“Baby, the toilet paper is this way,” you sing, giving the front of the cart a gentle tug that pulls it and his thoughts away from the television that seems to hold reign over his interest.

“Ah,” he mumbles as he shakes himself out of whatever trance he was in. “Right.”

The Target trip ends rather uneventfully; you grab all the items you came for and make the executive decision of swapping Jungkook’s tangerine bathroom soap with strawberry instead. Normally he’d put up a good fight, argue about the comfort that came with consistency, but today he says nothing. You chalk it up to that flatscreen that hypnotized him earlier.

“You wanted it,” you announce rather pointedly in the car. He’s backing out of the parking space now, one hand on the wheel the other pressed to the side of your seat. His jaw twitches as he tries to maneuver around a stray shopping cart someone didn’t return to the retrieval area. He’s wearing that dark jumper you like, with the high collar that covers all of last night’s bruises up wonderfully.

Jungkook scoffs as he finally gets the two of you back onto the main road, Target and the flat screen left behind. “I didn’t,” he defends. “Just thought it was neat.”

You snort. “Neat. Okay, grandpa, did it tickle your pickle?” you tease, obnoxiously leaning over the center console to get all in his face. Jungkook greets your proximity with a palm against your forehead.

“Please don’t ever say that again,” he laughs, pulling to a stop at the next red light. He turns to level you with an easygoing grin, sparkly anime girl eyes extra shiny under the red glow. “Only want you to tickle my pickle.”

You gag. “That’s actually disgusting.”

——

You graduate on a Saturday and your dorm stay expires on the Tuesday that follows. You spend the entire day shoving all your belongings into a variety of trash bags, from your weighted blanket to the collection candles you and Doyeon swore to light every night and never did. Speaking of Doyeon, she cries through the entire process. From the moment you take down the first wall decoration she’s in tears, and not even her mom, who’s come to help out, can quell her emotions. The girl cries and cries. She cries throughout the clean up, like she hadn’t spent the week before cursing the funky aircon system to hell and back. It’s probably the nostalgia that comes with leaving college, you assume. When Jungkook picks you up around noon, even your eyes are glassy.

Jungkook’s mom, who you only just met a few months ago, is over at his place when you arrive. You get along fairly well, in fact, you would even go as far as to claim you got along really well. You had first met her over this past spring break when Jungkook invited you along to his family trip to some tropical island. The Jeons were lovely people. In fact, had Jungkook not explicitly introduced them as his parents, you would’ve thought they were some sitcom actors carrying out the role of most in love, sophisticated lovers to ever exist. Yeah, they were super into each other, and you suppose it’s why Jungkook is the way he is, loves as hard as he does. The only thing that broke their attention away from each other was the sight of their precious Jungkookie bringing you to a family event.

It was hard to keep them entertained. Every second was spent worrying about your appearance, your demeanor, whether or not you looked like a devil beside their (your) angelic boy. It certainly didn’t help that Jungkook was wearing that obnoxiously floral shirt at the restaurant you went to, the first three buttons undone almost lazily. It was a look your boyfriend rarely showed, always so meticulously dressed. Of course, he had that cute boyish style of his that consisted almost exclusively of baggy pants and designer tee’s a little too plain to cost as much as they did. But even those outfits had a specific Jungkook rhythm to them— the darker tones always went with the pants that had twelve buckles on them; the long sleeves always went with the jeans. He was awfully particular about those kinds of self-set rules, and this jarring floral print did not fit any of them. It was too provocative, the black skinny jeans he’d paired with it too devious.

Maybe he knew what he was doing to you dressed so hot like this, but knowing Jungkook, you doubt he did. His parents hadn’t batted a single lash his way, eyes laser focused on your every word as you stumbled through three plates and dessert. It was a battle you fought alone, and one you barely survived.

So despite you impressing his parents, she still gives you an odd look when you enter Jungkook’s swanky townhouse with all your garbage bags of items. You promise her it’s just for the weekend, until your parents clean out your old room that they’ve filled to the brim with holiday decorations and miscellaneous objects. You’re not trying to take her baby chick out of the nest. (Yet.)

You watch TV for a couple hours, mostly her favorite soap operas on his 67 in. screen. It takes up a huge spot on the wall where it’s mounted, glossy black screen glaring back at you. Even his mom scolds him for such a huge screen, and you wonder how she’d feel about the absolute giant he ogled at the Target last week. Super angry, you think, and the image of her raging in flames while Jungkook apologizes like the momma’s boy he is makes you giggle.

She leaves a little after sunset, kissing and hugging the both of you on the doorstep like she’s going off to war and will never return. She’ll be back by the weekend, desperate to check on her baby boy, but you let her have her moment. It’s weird seeing how dramatic the Jeons are compared to how reserved Jungkook is.

You pounce on him the second she’s gone. He goes down with a muffled yelp against the sofa, hands grasping at your waist until you straddle him and begin going to town. Your fun lasts all of two minutes before the old lady novella Jungkook’s mom had been watching cuts to commercials and a loud advertisement for irritable bowel syndrome medication begins playing.

“Oh, that is so not sexy,” you whine childishly, trying to roll your hips over him again. Jungkook laughs, all low and sweet as he sits back up again.

“Give it a rest,” he says, shifting you until he’s got you hugged between those stupidly strong arms of his. His pecs feel strong and comforting beneath your cheek, and the feeling makes your tiny pouting session end earlier than usual. “Come on,” he mumbles as he manhandles you around, until your back is pressed against his chest and you’re sitting between his legs. “Let’s watch this film on Mesopotamian folklore and its overall significance to the nations it birthed after its downfall.”

——

You rarely use the key Jungkook gifted you a few months back. The majority of your visits to Jungkook’s house were either the result of Jungkook picking you up from somewhere and bringing you back, or Jungkook inviting you over after dinner. In short, he was always with you when you arrived at his stoop.

Today you’re alone, juggling two boxes of takeout and some cheap wine in one hand as you fight to unlock his door. He hadn’t answered his phone, which leads you to believe he’s holed himself up again in that damn study. He likes to do that sometimes, lock himself away like some modern day Rapunzel until he finishes whatever project he has this time around. When he gets like this, it’s like all other body functions are forgotten, his brain zeroed in on the lines of code you barely understand.

Just as you suspect, the house is too dark when you finally break in. The hall light is off, which isn’t out of the norm, but so are the kitchen and living room lights. You pad down the hall, flicking on the light to the living room to set down your offerings onto the edge of the coffee table. There’s a scrambled pile of notes on top that seem too disorderly to disregard. You whirl around, making to head back out into the hall and down to the study, when you see it.

A good 90 inches mounted on his wall. It’s a monstrosity of a screen, devouring nearly the entire surface of the wall, from stainless end to stainless end. It’s ridiculously thin in the way all modern TVs are, but this one is even more so given the fact you hadn’t registered it in your peripheral when you walked in. It’s just barely short of a Jumbotron, the kind they have at baseball games to make sure you can see every nose hair on the pitcher.

His mom was going to kill him.

“Jungkook?” you call out slowly, inching back out into the hall with your gaze glued to the screen. Like maybe you’ve imagined this all and that isn’t the stupidly gigantic television screen Jungkook had gawked at just a few weeks ago.

There’s a soft hum down the hall, the sound slipping beneath the bottom gap in the door frame. You make a beeline for the room, oddly unsettled with the huge screen. The door gives way, exposing your boyfriend’s hunched back and the blue light from his monitors that highlights his frame. “Hi, sweetie,” you begin, inching over to him.

“Hi,” he sighs, leaning back into your touch when you step behind him. His dark eyes are weary from staring at his tablet for too long, his usual tender expression melted into one of mild irritation. “Can’t figure this out,” he says, tapping his stylus against one line of absolute nerd gibberish you don’t bother trying to decipher. Maybe another day you would have entertained him, but today you cherish this moment with him knowing it might be his last before his mom comes over and kills him.

“Sounds like break time to me!” Your proclamation makes him frown, a frustrated groan pulling itself from his lips. His head droops forward again, chin touching his chest. But there’s a hint of relief in his groan that tells you all you need to know. “Baby needs a break,” you smile, pressing a peck against the back of his head.

“You’re baby,” he tries to fight, but his limbs are so pliant under your touch that it practically means nothing. “I’m the head honcho around here.”

“Uh huh,” you appease him, finally managing to tug all that muscled body out of his seat. “And apparently that means making dumb purchases.”

“What dumb purchases? Are you talking about the cactus again?” he asks, letting you guide him back down the hall.

“Yes, Kook, the cactus you haven’t watered in three months,” you drawl sarcastically, the sad plant sitting in the kitchen a reminder of both your incompetence. “Namjoon would hate you for that.”

Not amused by the insinuation of his favorite senpai being disappointed in him, Jungkook goes to fight you on that. By then you’ve stopped at the entrance of the living room, glaring at the straight up theater screen that sits on the wall. “Oh.”

“Yeah, oh,” you mimic, flopping down on the ground beside the coffee table. Jungkook doesn’t follow, choosing to sprawl himself over the couch instead. “What’s with the Jumbotron?”

He stretches his arms out, moaning something sinful at the way his bones pop. “It adds to the experience,” he says. “Movies are more enjoyable when the pictures are bigger; a tall aspect ratio and stadium seating really add to the experience.” He was such a nerd.

You snort. “The experience— Oh, I’m sorry. Didn’t know I was speaking to Mr. IMAX here.”

His cheeks flush a soft pink at your jab. “Don’t be mean,” he mumbles, tugging on your arm as he sits back up. You find your way onto his lap, neatly seated over one thigh like he’s the Santa Claus at the mall; not a single gray hair in sight but you’d still let him call you his hoe, hoe, hoe. Realizing there’s more important matters to attend to than Jungkook’s Christmas ham, you shake those images away.

“Good thing I brought a movie,” you beam, gesturing to the pretty pink case resting over top the takeout bag.

Jungkook doesn’t even spare it a single glance as he burrows into your neck. “What? No, we’re finishing the docuseries on—“

You groan loudly to muffle the rest of his sentence. “Kook, I don’t wanna watch another episode on Stonehenge being done by aliens,” you whine, picking up the movie case to brandish in his face.

It’s admittedly the wrong move when Jungkook’s eyes roll themselves into another dimension. “Absolutely not,” he says. The case is quickly discarded off to the side as he attempts to distract you with a kiss against your cheek.

Too bad you’re evil and determined. “No! We are watching the Princess and the Pauper and that’s final,” you exclaim, scrambling for the movie before he can hurl it out the window. He catches you by the waist, your fingers just an inch away from the pink case. “Babe!” you cry, but his fingerprints are bruising their way into your skin.

“No more Barbie movies,” he begs, yanking you back onto his lap. He does so with so much force that it makes the two of you tumble to the side, your head bouncing on the cushions as he catches himself over you. “Please.”

“I hate you,” you fuss, pointedly ignoring the tiny mole beneath his lip that drove you crazy. “We’ve seen every single thing on the History Channel this week, but we can’t watch one Barbie movie?”

Jungkook sighs, dropping his head down against your shoulder. He smells good and feels even better over you, but you’re not going to stop until the Princess and the Pauper is breaking in the new Jumbotron. “It’s weird,” he huffs, voice muffled against the fabric of your shirt. “Especially when we start getting… experimental, and I have to listen to Barbie sing in the background.”

“First of all, her name is Annaleise in this movie,” you correct, squirming beneath him to no avail. “Secondly, how do you think I feel when you’re eating me out while some old British dude narrates the creation of the Hanging Gardens of Babylon?”

Jungkook scoffs, finally letting himself snuggle completely into you. “You don’t even realize it because you’re screaming the whole way through.” That earns him a sharp tug at his ear that has him sputtering apology after apology.

“It’s boring!” you feel the need to emphasize.

Jungkook sits up with an uppity look on his face. “It’s not my fault you don’t appreciate the cinematography that comes from educational pieces,” he points out, rather presumptuously.

You shove him off of you. “I don’t care about cinnamon topography, just play the damn Barbie movie,” you hiss, swiping the movie case from the other end of the couch and pressing it to his chest. If words could hurt, yours definitely do. Jungkook crumbles against the couch, childishly stomping one sock-clad foot against the ground as you gesture toward the movie player.

He doesn’t move, and you’re about to begin another tirade against his snobby movie critiquing habits when he procures a sleek, tiny remote that you would honestly mistake for an iPhone from a distance. It has, no joke, about seven buttons max, four of which are just the up and down, left and right arrows. You let out a low whistle at that. Wow. Technology sure was advancing.

The TV turns on to some minimalistic home page, tiny widgets showing every app it has; the bottom row is dedicated almost entirely to Jungkook’s massive streaming service provider collection. After a moment of brewing in his feels, Jungkook quietly announces, “it’s on Amazon Prime.” This is news to you, being able to watch a Barbie film on a streaming service and not the old disk you scratched when you were ten. Something distinctly carnal flashes in your chest when Jungkook clicks through all the payment options without a care in the world. Oh, that was definitely going into your horny 3 am dreams.

Despite his earlier protests, you know Jungkook will soon fall into his usual movie watching habits. He settles into the couch beside you. You cuddle up next to him, enveloping him with the grip of a killer octopus choking out its prey, except Jungkook is usually the one doing the choking in this relationship. Still, it’s not close enough, and you throw your legs over his thigh. You’re practically sitting on him at this point.

You have no doubt the speakers on this thing are average; it was too thin to really pack any punch. However, that was the TV sans the Bluetooth speakers Jungkook has installed all around his house.

(You swear when the android uprising finally begins, your boyfriend will be the first one out.)

The speakers really amplify the sound. The opening sequence has your bones rattling inside your body, the loud music of the selection screen reverberating through the entire living room. It reminds you of that pounding COMING SOON clip that used to play at the beginning of DVD’s back in the day. Jungkook scrambles to lower the volume. “Sweetheart, you’re cutting off my circulation,” he wheezes afterwards.

“What? This is how we always watch movies,” you say with a frown.

“Yes, and I always end up with less oxygen than before.”

He doesn’t let you argue, which is good, because you could make a thirty five slide PowerPoint presentation on the advantages of watching movies like this. One, your boyfriend was warm. Two, your boyfriend smelt good. Three, your boyfriend’s ripped body awoke some ancient being inside of you that would not rest until his cock was halfway down your thro—

He hauls you into his lap. The angle forces you to let him go, instead met with the jarring nothingness of having his hot body ripped away. Meanwhile he gets to wrap you up in his arms, hold you like a teddy bear to his chest. “I hate this,” you huff, but the movie is already starting, the beautiful blonde Anneliese appearing on screen. You lean back against his chest, pout still evident. “This is ridiculous,” you snort, her face blown up on this jumbo screen.

“Shut up,” he says, settling in behind you. “Movie’s starting.”

Most Barbie movies you watch end up in one of two ways: either Jungkook falls asleep twenty minutes in or he stays up until the end to critique every aspect of it. With the way he’d gone soft from your early battle, you’re guessing he was going to knock out before the Princess can even meet the Pauper.

As much as you hate to admit it, the huge screen does incite quite a thrill in you. There’s something so nostalgic about watching one of your favorite childhood movies on a screen this huge. The size showcases the sheer perfection that is every single Barbie movie. You lose yourself in the movie, singing along to the opening song and growing agitated when the antagonist appears.

Jungkook says nothing, and you’re half convinced he’s taken his first preferred route and snoozed off, when his fingers twitch around your waist.

There it was.

The occasional dark horse candidate among Barbie movie binges— Jungkook gets weirdly horny and fucks you to the tune of a classic Barbie movie soundtrack.

“Absolutely not,” you say, slapping a hand down over his before he can slip beneath the fabric of your shorts.

He lets out an indignant noise, a puff of air running along the side of your face. You ease his hands back over your stomach, taking extra care to knot your fingers with his. “We’re supposed to be breaking in your new screen,” you remind him, glancing up to catch his unimpressed expression.

He complains quietly, but he settles.

For all of twenty seconds.

“Oh my god,” you sigh, trying to act like the subtle rutting of his cock on your behind was a nuisance and not the luxury it is. “Babe, the jumbo screen… look at it.”

“Not even jumbo,” he murmurs against your ear, hot breath sending a shiver down your spine that has your toes curling. You fight to keep his hands still, but the muscles in his forearm tense, inked skin contracting as he slips them between your thighs. You suck in a sharp inhale, trying to maintain your immovable front. Jungkook sees the fortress you’ve built around yourself in the name of watching The Princess and the Pauper, and spares you no mercy with his attack. His hands massage the skin of your thighs, tiny shorts doing absolutely nothing to save you from him. “Jumbo didn’t fit.”

The back of your mind registers the fact he was apparently trying to get a TV even bigger than this. You tuck it away for later to snitch to his mom. For now, you’d very much appreciate it if he could make you cum before the two girls perform the iconic “I Am a Girl Like You” song.

His hands are so smooth, soft skin tracing over your body like you were nothing but a slab of clay ready to be molded under his touch. He abandons your thighs to creep them under your shirt, where he wastes no time tugging the cups of your bra down to fondle your breasts.

Belatedly, your stupid tongue remembers to move. “I know something jumbo that fits,” you babble, rolling your head back against his shoulder. Jungkook laughs at the utter stupidity of your sentence, and the aforementioned jumbo thing fattens against your ass, before brushing his lips against yours. The airy laughter, one of your favorite sounds in the world, is swallowed up by your greedy mouth. “Can fit in two places, actually,” you murmur when he pulls away. His fingers massage the doughy skin of your boobs causing your back to arch slightly. “Wherever he wants it to.”

“Really,” Jungkook teases, obviously entertained by your silly dirty talk. He’s grown used to your outlandish remarks in the past few months of your relationship.

You like to believe Jungkook has fully accepted your occasional bouts of weirdness. He’s had the last few months to grow familiar with the inner workings of your mind, and even absorbed some of it into his own personality. Which is why he doesn’t seem the least bit bothered by you referring to his cock as jumbo, when there were admittedly more fitting words to describe it as.

(Thick, juicy, angry, demon cock, if he really wanted to know.)

“Where do you think it should go?” he asks, the low hum of his voice snapping you out or your thoughts. There was no need to daydream about a cock that was right in front of you. His hands slow their gentle caress over you, fingers closing in on your nipples.

A sharp hiss pulls itself from your throat, chest arching as he tugs and toys with your hardened nipples. “Wh-Wherever,” you pant, reaching your own hands down back between your thighs. The phantom of his palms linger, making your hands feel sorely inadequate. “Wherever Daddy wants,” you purr, swallowing harshly when he twists a nipple.

Jungkook groans, resting his forehead against your shoulder. “Don’t,” he sighs, hands faltering over your breasts. Eventually they drift away, settling around your waist as you slip your fingers under the front of your bottoms.

“Why?” you laugh, pointer finger brushing along your clit. “Don’t like it when I call you that, Daddy?”

He lifts his head to watch you play with yourself. His hands grow tight around your waist, labored breath filling the air to harmonize with your breathy moans. You’re absolutely soaking your panties, sticky arousal making the fabric stick to your folds. “You know I do,” he murmurs, watching the outline of your knuckles through the fabric of your shorts. “Thought you wanted to play nice today.” He takes in a sharp inhale when you ease your finger into yourself, a breathy moan escaping from your lips.

You were already so wet, and you’re really not surprised this is how the two of you would break in his new IMAX, high definition flatscreen. Your pussy tightens around your finger, thigh muscles jumping at the intrusion. Fuck, you needed him so bad.

You smirk, drawing your hands out from their hiding spot. The television is the only thing lighting the room, the two of you shrouded in relative darkness. At first, your hand is shadowed by the glow of the screen, nothing more than an outline. But when you turn it just right, the light catches, highlighting the glistening skin of your fingers. It makes Jungkook shudder.

Ever so slowly, you bring your fingers up to his face. The tip of your middle finger runs teasingly against his plump lower lip, his shaky exhales sending a cool breath over your knuckles. “Open, Daddy,” you encourage, watching with rapt attention as he envelopes your fingers between his lips. He sucks, tongue dancing between each digit to slurp off your juices. “Do I taste good? Do you like it?”

You know he loves it, but it never hurts to ask.

Between the two of you, you each had your own share of distinctive interests when it came to sex. Kinks, if you will. You adored the softer, vanilla aspects of sex— the languid makeouts, the slow rutting against his thigh, the whispered praise, the cute pet names. Meanwhile, despite his initially reserved exterior, Jungkook preferred the other end of the spectrum. (You should’ve known from the get go!) He loved it fast and hard, so hard it would make you cry. He liked watching you squirm and beg for his cock while he pushed you to new heights. He liked the sticky, sweaty sex that left you feeling like a used rag beneath him, something you would have never expected given his neat and kind nature.

However, as with all things Jungkook, you always came first. Jungkook’s dream sex style was often pushed to the side in favor of pleasuring you. So quick and rough sex was more of a rare, once in a blue moon, type of luxury. Up until recently, sex had been mostly what you wanted. Either way you did things, Jungkook was fine as long as he got to hold you close.

It was only a few weeks ago that you discovered your shared daddy kink, him obsessed with the idea of shoving you around, something he would otherwise never do. You, on the other hand, found a pleasant satisfaction from being good for him, a stark contrast from your usual sharp tongue and nonexistent filter.

You pull your fingers from his mouth, the sleek drip of your arousal replaced with his saliva. Jungkook grunts as he hauls you further onto his lap, swollen cock nudging itself between your cheeks. “You know I love it, baby,” he growls against your ear. His hot breath fans over your skin, sending shivers down your spine. “Have you had your fun now?” he asks, tracing the pads of his fingers around your nipple teasingly.

“Mhm,” you moan. Jungkook’s hands decide they’re done toying with your tits, drifting back down to their original target between your shorts. “Want Daddy to fuck me now.”

He places a kiss against the side of your neck, right over the vein that runs beneath the skin. Jungkook kisses and nips down your skin, until his hair is tickling your collarbones as he sucks a hickey against the juncture between your neck and shoulder. “Is that the right way to ask for something?” he purrs, rubbing your cunt over your shorts.

It’s nowhere near as fulfilling as it would be without the garments. Nonetheless, it makes you ache for him, thighs quivering at the simple touch like you’re a bumbling virgin being touched for the first time. You’re nowhere near that, but every time with Jungkook was exhilarating enough to the point it felt like it was.

“Pretty please,” you pant, covering his hand with yours.

Jungkook rewards you with a fluttery kiss against your shoulder. “Good girl,” he hums. He finally gives you what you want, bypassing the fabric of your shorts and panties to dip his fingers between your folds. You gasp, hips jumping at the sudden brush of his hands along your quivering folds.

“Inside please,” you whimper, knees moving back and forth, only stopping when he helps you out of your bottoms. He places his free hand on one of them, stilling your writhing to fully focus on pleasing the burning fire inside of you. “Jungkook—“

A slap against your cunt that makes you squeal. “Ah ah,” he warns, voice a low tenor against your skin. If you focus hard enough, you can feel the faint brush of a smirk against your neck. “We’re playing a different game right now, pretty girl.”

On screen, your favorite childhood movie is bearing witness to the sinful acts at your boyfriend’s hands. It shouldn’t be surprising how easily you fall into his arms, onto his lap, especially with your history of movie watching with Jungkook.

From your very first date you were enamored with him; the dip of his Cupid’s bow, so innocent and cute, embodied every single aspect of his personality. He was the sweetest, softest boy, one your brain could never conjure in a thousand years. Jungkook’s level of care was hard to come by nowadays; he was a gentleman through and through.

These days he was growing out of that mature persona, and you like to think it’s thanks to you. Your wildness rubbed off on him, made him confident enough to geek out in public, or be adventurous in private. It helped nourish his impulsivity, which led to things like the Super Bowl Jumbotron watching you fuck now.

Despite knowing all this, knowing the way he is, the slow grind against your ass sends a thrill of arousal up your limbs, sensations converging just beneath your mound. “Yes, Daddy,” you mewl accordingly.

Pleased with your obedience, he rewards you by circling your throbbing clit with his thumb. It’s a terribly slow motion, pad of his finger easing over your engorged bud every other second. You wanted more, needed more. You squirm beneath him, attempting to push your clit against his palm. Your efforts are in vain when he clamps a hand down on your waist. “Sit still,” he growls.

You whimper. “Need more,” you rasp out. Your whole body is acting out now, shifting and turning as you try to wiggle closer. Your mouth brushes against his jawline. The sharp angle is the first thing your muddled thoughts focus on, lips hungrily latching onto his porcelain skin to suck a purple blossom onto it.

Any other day Jungkook would bask in the attention, let you bruise his skin up until he was violet from love.

Today... well.

You were playing a different game.

The hand that had been exploring your nether regions suddenly snaps up, catching your chin between his fingers. The wetness that has coated his digits smears messily across your skin, and you whimper when he squishes your cheeks beneath his fingers.

“No ‘please’?” he huffs, turning your head to meet his eyes.

Dark chocolate eyes you’ve come to associate with love and adoration stare back at you unimpressed. His pronounced brow bone twitches, like he’s holding the true intensity of his glare back for your own sake. He slots his mouth against yours with no warning, tongue pushing its way past your lips. It’s messy, his tongue licking into your mouth like you’re nothing but a lollipop for him to suck on. It pulls a surprised moan from your lips that he swallows quickly enough, biting down on your lower lip harshly. When he pulls away, he’s got that same bored look on his face. You feel small under such a cold look, shoulders scrunching up damn near your ears in a subtle attempt to hide from him.

The action makes Jungkook scoff as he leans away from you. He leaves you on his lap alone, like a tiny island desperate to join the main land. You shuffle around in a hurry, looping your arms around his neck in a last ditch effort to calm him down. It does nothing for Jungkook, who only prods his tongue along his cheek as he regards you with a calculating gaze.

After a moment, he finally says, “on your knees.”

Your heart falls out of your chest. “Huh?” you whisper hoarsely, wide eyes taking in his unimpressed expression. “Knees? But Daddy,” you whine, lower lip quivering as you glance down at the hardwood floor.

Anywhere else you wouldn’t have minded. In fact, anywhere else you would’ve been on the floor before the sentence even left his mouth. You loved sucking his dick almost as much as he loved eating you out. However your knees were embarrassingly frail against hard flooring, which is why most blowjobs had been administered in the comfort of his bed or the couch. Sometimes on carpeted surfaces, but Jungkook never pushed when he knew you would be aching the whole time.

Which is why his current demand has you standing stiff. “O-On the floor?” you murmur.

The stark truth was that Jungkook had you terribly spoiled. His constant pampering had convinced you you were invincible. His love was practically handed to you on a silver plate, cloth napkin folded like a crane beside it. He had never made you do something you didn’t like, and he had never put you in an uncomfortable position, mentally or physically.

Until now.

Jungkook gestures for the ground with a curt nod. “Is there a problem?” he inquires.

You look back again, eye the dark wood planks beneath you, glossed over enough to make them shine even in this weak light. “No,” you belatedly respond, slowly pushing yourself off his lap and onto your feet. Your big shirt falls back down, covers the tops of your thighs as you stand nude from the waist down. You’re tempted to just yank it down even more, hide beneath the cloth so he doesn’t have to see you whine and bitch about your knees aching.

Jungkook was so cool. He was so suave and composed. He was the opposite of you, which is why the two of you meshed so well together. You’ve thought about it about ten times tonight, but it was true. Despite all that, there were times his mature exterior made you feel small— small and silly. Like now, with him sitting against the sofa, dark eyes tracing up your legs in amusement.

You sink to the ground, very pointedly avoiding his gaze. The wooden slats are cold and hard beneath your knees, your kneecap immediately screaming in discomfort. Jungkook leans forward with his elbows on his knees, messy curls covering half of his face. “You know,” he hums, reaching out to trail his knuckles across your cheekbone. “I kinda like having you like this,” he admits, “below me like the good little girl you are.”

Your breath stutters as it leaves your lungs, fidgeting hands tugging at the front hem of your shirt in a feeble attempt to cover yourself up. Jungkook smirks at the movement, eventually retracting his hand to give you one, condescending pat on the head.

A hearty sigh escapes his lips as he settles back onto the couch cushions. “Keep me entertained, will you?” You gawk, but you know it’s not a question. He reaches over for the remote to turn the volume up on the Barbie movie.

Your favorite song on the entire soundtrack is playing, almost mocking you as you shuffle closer to him. Two hands tentatively placed on his thighs as the two animated maidens flounce around the screen. He doesn’t bat a single lash your way, eyes focused on the huge screen behind you instead.

His sweatpants give away easily, elastic band snapping away from hips. You have to fight that and his boxers down, Jungkook sitting like an immovable boulder in front of you. You barely manage to free his cock— the same jumbo cock you had referred to earlier —and it almost slaps you across the face from the force of its recoil. Your breath catches in your throat, a short-lived squeal as you flinch at the movement.

The sound causes him to look your way, over the bridge of his nose. “Do you mind?” he says scornfully. “I’m trying to watch a movie.”

“S-Sorry,” you stammer, quickly grasping his cock between your fist.

But apparently you’re doing everything wrong tonight. Jungkook hisses. “Shit— would it kill you to lick it first? Like you’re trying to start a damn fire on my cock,” he mumbles, head lolling back to watch the screen again.

You move in slower this time, careful to lick your palm before trying to grab him. When you do, it’s even more delayed, fingers hesitantly tightening around his swollen member. You’re trying to gauge his reaction, worried eyes flickering up to him every few seconds. Jungkook doesn’t object, craning his neck to the side to crack a joint there. With his clearance you carry on.

The strokes are slow at first, hand barely reaching over his tip like he likes. You’re weirdly anxious you’ll mess up for him, make him look at you with contempt. You suppose it’s because of the game you’re playing that you’re on edge. Usually, Jungkook adheres to your rules, soft as they may be, and he never pushes where you don’t want. Tonight, it’s like you’re a show dog desperate to impress her owner. In short, you were his bitch.

You loved it.

As much as you wanted to be good for him, the mere thought of your normally sweet-hearted boyfriend glaring down at you does something to you, makes your pussy clench.

It’ll haunt you for weeks. The image of such unimpressed eyes leveled your way because you couldn’t handle his dick will stain the insides of your eyelids. Even though he’ll brush it off, kiss you and tell you it’s fine, the inner conceited hoe in you will never let it go, will recall the memory every time your hand is under your panties.

Still, you’re terribly desperate to impress him. He was your other half, your lover, your sweetheart, your goddamn king; he deserved only the best— not some half-assed, scaredy-cat blowjob that would leave him reeling back afterwards.

With that belief and a sticky blob of spit later, you’re pushing him into your throat. It’s the first reaction you get since he’d started feeling you up, a deep, raspy groan straight from the pits of hell, that has you working even harder to swallow his cock down. “That’s it,” he pants, carding his fingers through your hair. “Good girl.”

You positively mewl under the praise, tongue growing heavy in your mouth as you swallow more and more of him down. The hard tip of his cock pulses inside, rubbing against your palate and then your throat. A gag catches in your throat, one you quickly subdue by shifting your hips.

Fuck, he was so big. Just the feeling of his cock brashly rubbing against the corners of your lips has you fantasizing about how he’ll undoubtedly stretch your pussy apart later. You moan, letting your eyes flutter shut as you try to wave those images away.

When his cock hits the back of your throat, you’re ten chapters deep into an erotic novel all about sucking Jungkook‘s dick. If your eyes weren’t already shut you’re certain they’d be at the back of your head anyway. It twitches against your tongue, one thick bead of precum sliding down your throat.

It seems to be the final straw for Jungkook, who clamps a hand down on the back of your head, forcefully pulling you away only to shove you down again. With his grip in your hair, he really goes to town. You whimper at his brutal movements, his cock nudging the back of your throat with every harsh tug of your hair. The slippery, wet glide of his cock against your mouth fills the room with a lewd squelching that drowns out the movie.

Your pussy quivers with each new intrusion, thighs pressing together as if that will quell the searing ache between them. It doesn’t, and when Jungkook finally bursts in your mouth, creamy cum splattering against your tongue and lips, it only grows.

“Fuck,” he growls, pushing you away as he sinks back into the cushions. His chest heaves beneath the material of his t-shirt, sweat dripping down from his hairline. Normally, you’d take this opportunity to crawl back onto his lap, lick and kiss away at his body while he recovered. But truthfully, you were both still new to this whole experience so there were still the occasional lulls between actions.

Sensing your uncertainty, Jungkook tugs you onto his lap. He presses one soft kiss against your cheek, eyes momentarily losing their hard edge to assure you everything is fine. You give him a tiny nod, as if assuring him you’re okay. He presses his mouth to yours, plush lips soothing over your raw lips. It’s brief, the kiss; he guides you through it but switches back quickly. He pulls away and bites down harshly on the side of your neck. “So perfect for me, pretty girl,” he murmurs, soothing his bite over with a swipe of his tongue.

You dissolve into a mushy puddle on his lap, muscles growing weak from his touch. Jungkook kisses down your neck, over your t-shirt clad chest, before he’s nudging you back down onto the cushions. With him looming over you, your body instinctively has you spreading your legs apart. His t-shirt comes up with one yank over his shoulders, sinewy muscles coming into view.

“Yum,” you whisper, hands reaching up to trail over his v-line. They’re quickly slapped away, a startled gasp pulled from your lips as Jungkook takes your wrists in his hands.

One shapely brow is raised in your direction. “Did I say you could touch?” he murmurs, pinning your hands above your head. A gasp catches in your throat from his close proximity. You subconsciously tilt your head up, try to brush your mouth against his, only to be denied with a subtle turn of his face. “How do you want it, pretty?” he asks, releasing the tight grip around your wrists.

Immediately, you latch around his broad shoulders, fingers tracing over the muscles of his arms until they meet at the base of his neck. “However you want,” you purr, pulling him closer until your bodies are aligned, the warm heat of his frame over yours. You kiss the spot beneath his ear once before he trails his lips down.

Jungkook mouths against your shoulder, lips tracing over the juncture where it meets your neck. “Hm,” he hums, taking a tiny sliver of skin between his teeth. “And if I said I wanted it hard?”

His proposal is followed by a slow roll of his hips against your throbbing core, the same dick you had just choked on gliding along your folds. You whimper, toes curling as the pleasure washes over you. Every ridge, ever vein of his hardened cock runs along your sensitive folds, reminding you of the aching flame inside of you. “Th-That’s fine,” you pant, leg lazily thrown over his hip. His hands trail over your waist, collecting your t-shirt as they move up your body until it’s pushed over the swell of your breasts.

When the material is finally discarded off to the side, leaving you in that flimsy bra Jungkook that snaps off, he strikes again. His tongue laps over your collarbone first, pouty lips ghosting over the skin as he makes his way to your breast. He takes one hardened peak into his mouth, drawing a shaky inhale from you. He rolls it between his teeth, tongue flicking the sensitive nub as you squirm beneath him.

Eventually he pulls away with a wet pop. Jungkook smirks, a soft puff of air fanning over your newly bruised skin. “Aren’t you the prettiest little thing.” He pushes away from you with one strong arm, looking down at you with an unreadable expression on his face. “Watch the movie,” he says.

You blink. “Huh?”

Before you know it, he’s tugging you back up onto your feet. He pushes you around, nearly sends you toppling over the coffee table as he positions you to his liking. “Kook!” you exclaim, palms slapping down against the glass tabletop in an effort to catch yourself. Just barely, your reflection glares back up at you.

A tap against your pussy startles you from the sight. “Wha—“

Two hands grab onto your biceps, tugging you up forcefully until your back arches, leaving you bent at a ninety degree angle before him. “Look, sweetheart,” he coos against your ear, voice deep enough that it vibrates through every bone in your body. Your breath stutters in your throat, exhilaration blossoming in your chest. “It’s your favorite movie.”

It is in fact your favorite movie, the same one you had fought tooth and nail just moments prior to watch. On screen, the two damsels are exploring new things in their lives, just how you were experiencing Jungkook’s true intensity for the first time. “It is,” you quietly confirm, back aching from the position.

Jungkook either doesn’t care about your depleting strength or really trusts in you not to faceplant onto his glass coffee table, palms sliding down to the crease of your elbows to hold you. “Tell me what it’s about,” he says

Just as the words leave his mouth, something hard and wet prods against your folds. “Oh,” you cry, fists tightening into balls as the feeling overwhelms you. “Jungkook, please.”

One elbow is let go, and the abrupt release has you scrambling to catch yourself, your glass reflection coming a little too close. This becomes even more difficult when a hand suddenly strikes down hard against your ass, a startled yelp escaping you. Just as quickly as you were released, Jungkook wastes no time snatching your back up, yanking you back until your cunt runs along his cock again.

“C’mon, pretty, thought you knew better,” he sighs playfully.

“I’m sorry,” you whimper, chest heaving with every slow roll of his hips. Your pussy was sopping, desperate to be filled with something. It was even worse knowing his dick was right there, just inches outside of where you need him most. “I’m sorry, Daddy,” you repeat.

Jungkook chuckles, and your heart backflips when he finally begins lining himself up. “It’s okay,” he assures you, in that same gentle tone he uses when you accidentally shove the wrong food down the sink disposal. “Baby’s still learning,” he says, pressing a chaste kiss against your shoulder as he begins pushing himself in. Just the head of his cock proves to be a struggle, swollen tip stretching your entrance wide. There’s an extra sting today from your half-hearted preparation, the both of you relying solely on your own arousal and excitement to let him in. It’s a nice kick.

When he finally pops past that initial tightness, you swear you could transcend into another dimension from the absolute feeling of euphoria that washes over you. “Fuck,” you mewl, fighting against his tight hold. Your efforts are in vain, ultimately choosing to drop your head down as the ecstasy continues to wash over you with each inch he offers you.

A warning squeeze around your wrist. “Language,” Jungkook reprimands, though his voice is strained and light.

You nod mindlessly, toes curling against the wooden floor. “It-It feels so good,” you whine. Your knees wobble dangerously beneath you, until you’re swaying just the slightest bit.

He gives until there’s nothing left, the soft hairs around his dick tickling your lips as he reaches the hilt. “There we go,” he grunts, giving you one final tug to make sure this is as far as he can go. You squeal, the brush against your walls making you ridiculously high. “That’s my girl.”

The praise has your stomach tightening, the pretty images flashing across the screen completely lost on you. You felt so full. The two of you rarely did it like this, without looking at each other straight on, but there was something about Jungkook’s looming figure being distorted by your brain’s memory, his touches wild and unpredictable, that made something inside of you twitch.

“Ohhh,” you whimper, muscles going slack for the briefest moment. The only thing that saves you from falling over is the killer grip on your forearms; when he tugs you up his cock runs along your pulsing walls. “Please, Daddy,” you beg, mouth feeling a thousand times heavier.

“The movie,” he repeats, slowly beginning to pull away from your clenching heat. You moan. “Tell me what it’s about,” he husks, punctuating his seemingly innocent statement with a harsh snap of his hips.

You wail, stumbling forward at the intensity. Still, it’s just a taste of what he has in store for you. He soon picks a pace, not too rushed or slow, as you struggle to keep your eyes open. “I-I don’t know,” you choke out, the images flashing across the gigantic screen practically unrecognizable to your muddled thoughts.

Behind you Jungkook tuts at your incompetence, thrusting forward with an intensity that would have sent you flying if not for the grip he has on you. “You don’t know?” he huffs, tugging your elbows back again as if to secure his grip on you.

His hips are moving fast now, every piston into your warm heat making you tremble. “Fffuck,” you gasp, eyes rolling to the back of your head as he continues ramming his cock into your pulsing hole. You’re met with a harsh yank that pulls you snugly onto his cock, your entire body screaming at the way he nudges against your cervix. Despite the pleasure it gives you, Jungkook seems anything but pleased.

“C’mon,” he huffs, twisting your arms painfully behind your back. “What did we say about that dirty mouth?” His question is followed with a snap of his hips that makes you choke on your spit. “Need you to be good for me, baby,” he groans.

“I-I am good,” you weakly defend, head hanging down limply as you fight to regain some semblance of your senses. But everything feels too much, from the rough push of his hips to the tight grip on your arms. His cock pulls out nearly all the way each time, swollen tip the only thing stopping him. Every thrust makes you quiver, every touch makes you melt.

You suppose he’d been too lenient on you up until now, and that final claim makes him snap. Jungkook scoffs, ramming his dick inside of you. “You’re being fucking terrible right now, doll,” he admits, hammering into you like a crazed man. You sob, the coil in your belly tightening with every brutal shove of his cock. It’s something about the way his composure withers away, all sweetness melting off as he thrusts into your cunt. “I’ve asked you twice now what the damn movie was about, and you didn’t answer either time.”

A hand clamps around your throat suddenly, yanking you up right until his breath fans across your ear. You’re not sure when your eyes had become so teary, but the images flickering across the screen are a foggy mess you couldn’t decipher even if you tried. “__,” he rasps against your ear, his voice scratchy. “Tell me. Now.”

You whimper as he shoves his way back inside, the angry head of his cock testing you. “T-Two girls, one’s a princess,” you cry, knees wobbling as the feeling in your core grows. “They look alike, and-and…”

“And?” Jungkook asks as you trail off, his words followed by a particularly brutal surge of his hips. His cock glides against your walls easily despite the way you clench around him.

“A-And they have problems they wanna avoid,” you stammer, the plot slipping in and out of your mind with every roll of his cock into your core. “So-so they swap places.”

Behind you, Jungkook snorts. “What a stupid fucking movie,” he says meanly, before he begins to piston his cock into you. You’re trembling by now, your orgasm looming over your head with each thrust.

Before you can warn him, the thin string holding you together snaps, the sudden flood of relief making your knees buck dangerously. Jungkook barely has enough time to catch you around the waist, holding you against him as a litany of curses and his name come spewing out of your mouth. “No, no,” you wail, your entire body twitching as the orgasm rolls over you. “Kook— Jungkook!”

“I’ve got you,” he reassures you, fingers holding you tight around the waist. The coffee table you had feared cracking your skull on finally comes to use as you press your hands onto the surface in a feeble attempt to steady yourself.

“I’m sorry,” you whimper, faintly aware of the rock hard cock between your pulsing walls, probably drenched in your cum now. “I-I didn’t—“

He shushes you quickly, settling the two of you back onto the couch. Funnily enough, he doesn’t bother pulling you off of him, his dick snug inside your cunt as he seats you on his lap. “You’re alright, sweetheart,” he comforts, hands soothingly running up your sides. You want to protest, want to get back on your knees and give him another chance to cum all over your face, but Jungkook nudges your chin with a knuckle. “Watch your movie,” he croons.

The Princess and the Pauper is literally the last thing on your mind right now; didn’t he realize how much you wanted to please him? Why was he choosing now to be so stubborn? Oh, that Jeon Jungkook, maybe Doyeon was right to call him an airhead.

Your slander campaign against your boyfriend is cut short when a hand flutters over your mound, thumb idly tracing over your sensitive clit. Before you can turn and look at him, Jungkook is rutting his hips against you slowly. “The screen, baby,” he says, and you want to argue that you can’t possibly enjoy a movie with him being so sneaky beneath you. The words get washed away when he presses down on your clit.

“Koo— Daddy,” you whine, lower lips still trembling from the orgasm you had two minutes ago. Jungkook responds with a kiss against your shoulder, hands trailing around your waist.

“No more of that,” he mumbles as he begins bouncing you on his cock. You moan, every inhale cut short by the shallow thrusts of his cock into your delicate walls. “Just your Kook now.”

“My… Kook,” you pant dreamily. Your cum provides an even better lubricant than before, lewd squelches filling the area alongside your cries as Jungkook chases both your second orgasms.

“Mhmm,” he groans, jostling you over his lap with no rhythm whatsoever. “Yours, baby.” You stretch your hands back, carding one set of fingers through the hair above his ear, pushing the strands away from his face. “Just like you’re mine.”

Something inside of you tightens painfully, and you’re not sure if it’s your heart or your pussy. You guess it’s both, as you stutter out, “y-your pretty girl?” Jungkook hums in agreement, repeating your favorite nickname back to you. The rest of your words die out between the two of you, lost in the slow and soft movements that fill in. You want to tell him you love him, adore him like no other, but every breath of air is stolen away by him.

Eventually the two of your are cumming, your second orgasms much quieter and slower compared to your first. You still mewl, wither against him when you cream his cock, and Jungkook catches you all the same. He guides you through the fog with kisses against your jaw, your dripping pussy helping him through his own.

When all is said and done and you’re both basking in a post-orgasmic make-out, you realize how sweaty and icky you are. “Ugh, this is gross,” you pout as he wiggles you off his lap. He pushes you beside him, letting you flop over the length of the couch as he reaches for something to clean you up with.

“You’re gross,” he retorts softly, blinking in that slow, drawn out way he does when you know he’s sleepy. His t-shirt runs along your neck, collecting the sweat there.

You nudge him with your foot. “I’m not the one who wanted to fuck during a Barbie movie,” you scoff, pinching the skin on his forearm when his gaze lingers a second too long on your creamy pussy. “Look somewhere else, weirdo.”

Jungkook laughs quietly, looking at you with an adoring expression on his face. He doesn’t even finish cleaning you off, tossing the soiled shirt somewhere off to the side in favor of cuddling into you. “Where? My Jumbotron?” he teases, raining down a parade of kisses against your face. “Don't wanna,” he smiles, too soft and boyish for the words that leave his lips next. “Wanna lick your pretty pussy clean.”

“Jeon Jungkook,” you scold, covering your face with your palms in embarrassment. “Look at your stupid IMAX screen and leave me alone.”

He cackles loudly now, in that evil witch way it took him a while to show you, and you know he’s got that big silly grin on his face now. . “The IMAX screen? The same one that made you,” a pause, “climax?”

“Get off of me.”

——

Just as you predicted, Jungkook’s mom gives him the scolding of a lifetime when she drops by the next weekend. The poor woman nearly faints at the theater screen on the wall, only to quickly regain herself. You giggle from your spot on the couch as she whacks his stupidly ripped bicep with the leek you’re supposed to chop up for dinner later.

What you’re not expecting is for her anger to shift to you as she scolds you for letting her idiotic son make such purchases. She gets one playful thwack against your side with the leek before your charming idiotic boyfriend swoops in to save you.

——

#goldenclosetnet #ksmutclub #networkbangtan #bangtanhq #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook smut #jjk smut #mine

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3rensgf · 3 years

Text

rent a gf - two eren yeager x reader

word count: 2.9k

warnings: mentions of sex, talks about "getting bitches", eren is an idiot, fuckboy!eren implied, tatbilb mention, uhh fluff idk theres not much to warn abt in here, not beta read

notes: chapter two is out! i'm really glad a lot of people are enjoying rent a gf. it really means a lot! i see some people commented on the previous chapter, and i would love to reply to them, but i'm not familiar with tumblrs commenting system D: if you wanna leave a comment for me to just read, that's fine you can still keep commenting here on tumblr. but if you would like me to reply to it, you can comment on ao3, and i will reply! happy reading :) p.s, waffles w whipped cream r so much better

[ read on ao3 ]

previous ✩ series masterlist ✩ next

In the early hours of Saturday morning, you felt a hand shaking your shoulder to wake you. Groaning and mumbling, you sleepily swatted the hand away and pulled the covers over your head. No one should be forced to wake up early on the weekends. It was Saturday, for fucks sake. Not to mention your hangover due to last nights mistakes was making your head throb.

The hand rested on your shoulder once more, shaking you gently. “(Y/N),” Mikasa said softly. “Your alarm has been going off for the past 10 minutes. Wake up. I have water and Advil.”

“Nooooo,” you moaned, snuggling deeper into your bed. “Don’ wanna.”

Mikasa stopped bothering you for a moment, and you let your guard down. Finally you could sleep. When it was time to wake up, you’d wake up.

Right as you were about to pass out again, your blanket was roughly tugged off of you. “Mikasaaa!” you whined, covering your face with your hands. “What was that for? I was trying to sleep.”

“Get up. You have to shower and get ready for lunch with Eren today. Breakfast is almost finished,” she explained, setting down the pills and water on your bedside table. “Go brush your teeth and wash your face so you can eat. Now,” she instructed sternly, moving to your window to open the curtains. The bright sunlight hit your still half-asleep face, making you hiss quietly.

She left the room moments after, probably to check up on breakfast. Honestly, you didn’t know how she could function this early in the morning despite having partied all night last night. Curse her and her inability to get hungover.

Grumbling to yourself, you adjusted your sleep clothes that had gotten disheveled overnight to make sure you looked decent. Your sleepy gaze wandered over to your nightstand to see two Advils on a napkin beside a glass of cold water. Thanking every higher power for sending Mikasa to you, you downed both pills and the glass of water. Even though you might bitch and moan to her constantly, you really weren’t lying when you said you’d die without Mikasa.

After sitting down at the edge of your bed for a few moments, you eventually shuffled into the bathroom to brush your teeth and do your morning routine. It took longer than usual thanks to your sluggish and tired movements, but you got done nevertheless.

A wonderful aroma came from the kitchen when you left, stomach grumbling in anticipation for the wonderful food you were about to scarf down. Mikasa was in the process of setting down both your breakfasts on the island, sitting down on the stools when you walked in. “Morning, Sleeping Beauty,” she greeted, resting her chin on her hands.

“Morning, sweet angel,” you replied, sitting at the stool beside her. In front of you was a plate of Funfetti pancakes with whipped cream instead of maple syrup (syrup was for pancakes only). There were a couple of cut up fruits beside them, too. “Where did you get these?” you asked, picking up your fork to take a bite of your breakfast.

Mikasa dug into her own breakfast of oatmeal as soon as you started eating. “Went grocery shopping and saw the mix in the baking aisle. I thought you’d like it,” she explained, taking a bite of her food. “Good?”

Your response was a moan, tilting your head back as you chewed. “Insanely,” you said, cutting up another bite. You stabbed the piece with your fork and guided it to Mikasa, keeping your hand under it to catch anything if it dropped.

She finished her bite and leaned in to take the bite, humming in satisfaction at the taste. “Good,” she nodded.

“They put like crack ‘n this shit,” you said through a full mouth, shoveling forkful after forkful into your mouth.

You could feel Mikasa's judging gaze for eating like a pig, but you didn’t care. All you cared about was eating these crack laced waffles as greedily as possible. “What time are you supposed to meet Eren today?” she asked to make conversation.

You remember drunkenly slurring to her that Eren was supposed to take you out for lunch today while she was trying to put you to bed. All she did was nod and dodge your flailing limbs while she tried to change you into your night clothes.

“Uhhh,” you trailed off, “I dunno actually. I think he’s gonna text me when.” The familiar notification from your phone indicated you had a text from Eren. “Right now.”

ren ᕙ(`▿´)ᕗ - 9:04 AM picking u up at 12 dont be late

you - 9:04 AM k

ren ᕙ(`▿´)ᕗ - 9:05 AM dont use k with me that makes me sad :(

you - 9:05 AM k

“He says 12,” you told Mikasa, setting your phone back down on the table. You went to go take another bite of your waffles, only to be met with stray bits of whipped cream and waffle crumbs. How disappointing.

“You have time to get ready then,” she said, finishing up the last bit of her own breakfast. Holding her plate, she got up to go put it in the sink, taking your plate for you as well. Literally an angel.

Suddenly, she leaned in to sniff you like the weird English professor you had your freshman year and cringed. “You’re gonna need all the time you can get. You stink.”

Never mind, not an angel.

Grumbling and cursing under your breath, you got off the stool to go take a shower. “And here I was about to offer to get you something for lunch while I was out.”

“A burger from the joint I like would be nice. So would a Coke and side of onion rings.”

“Size?”

“Medium for both.”

You would’ve caved in and bought her something, anyways. Might as well know what she wanted in the first place.

Showering took longer than expected. Most of your time got wasted by you standing under the shower stream and soaking in all the warmth. It wasn’t until Mikasa knocked on the door asking you not to use up all the hot water that made you actually start going through your routine.

The clock read 10:09 when you got out. You still had more time to kill until Eren came, so you elected to sit on your bed in your towel to scroll through social media. At 10:45, you started to get ready for real now.

Your makeup was just enough to cover any imperfections on your face, and your outfit cute enough for a lunch outing with your friend-fuckbuddy.

At 11:50, you stepped out into the living room with your belongings in hand to lounge around while you waited for Eren. You would’ve gone to bug Mikasa, but she had just stepped into the shower minutes prior.

12 on the dot, a rhythmic knocking was rapped on your door, meaning Eren was finally here. Skipping over to the door, you opened it to reveal him while slipping on your shoes.

“Hey,” he grinned when the door opened. He leaned in to give you a kiss on the lips after you’d straightened up from putting on your shoes.

A grin found its way on your lips during the kiss. It only lasted a couple of seconds, ending with you pulling away with a quiet smack. “Hi,” you greeted back.

“Ready to go?” he asked, one hand leaving his jacket pocket to jut his thumb down the hallway towards the elevators.

“Yup, ready,” you said. Over your shoulder, you yelled into the apartment to say goodbye to Mikasa and locking the door once you closed. “Okay, ready for real now.”

There was a new hot pot restaurant near campus, Eren told you, that he so desperately wanted to try. He overheard some people talking about the place in his Stats class, and he’s been wanting to go ever since.

“So, about what I told you last night,” he said, leaning on the table close to you after giving your orders to the waitress. “You said you would help me get Mina.”

“I said it was a bad idea,” you countered, taking a sip of your drink.

“But you said you would help me. For a price.”

“That I… did say,” you sighed. “What’s your plan?”

Smiling, he opened up his jacket and dug into the inner pockets, getting out a small notepad and a pen. Your eyebrows raised at the sight of them. “Okay,” he started, flipping through his notepad. “So I was thinking about it this morning, and this is what I have down so far.”

Sliding it towards you, he waited impatiently for you to read what he had.

Your lips pursed to prevent giggled from leaving your lips. Well, it was a plan, alright. Written in Eren’s chicken scratch of handwriting were a few very simple steps.

eren yaegers fool proof plan to get bitches get mina aka operation rent a gf by eren yaeger 1. talk to mina to get her interested in you ✓ 2. get hot girl ((Y/N)) to pretend to be your gf and show you can be a good bf 3. get mina jealous so she wants you even more and not poopy thomas wanker 4. “break up” with (Y/N) and pretend to be sad 5. get mina to comfort you 6. get bitches make mina your gf 7. pay (Y/N) for her services 8. ta-da!

When you looked up from the notepad, you saw Eren waiting for your answer. “Well? What do you think? Is it any good?” he asked.

“Were you high when you wrote this?” was the first thing you asked him. Eren shook his head innocently. “You’re 100% serious?” He nodded.

You bit your lip, deep in thought about Eren’s supposedly fool proof plan. “What makes you think it’s gonna work?”

“I know girls and how they act. If Paradis University let me major in women -- don’t get smart with me I don’t mean Women Studies -- I would be passing all my classes with flying colors. I know it’ll work, trust me,” he said cockily, leaning back in his chair.

“No you don’t.”

“Yes I do. I know you. I know everything about you, (Y/N). I even know how to make you scream my name in--”

“Okay!” you cut him off, not wanting the strangers around you to know the intimate details of your sex life with Eren. “Okay.”

“I knew you were gonna do that. See, I do know women.”

A moment or two passed, both of you staring at each other. You with a deadpan expression, and him with a proud one. You were the first one to break the silence with a heavy sigh. “Okay, say I agree to this. What do I get in return?”

“Anything you want,” he said. “Within reason, of course. Please don’t ask me to like, hide a body or something.”

Ignoring his last comment, you continued speaking, “You’re not allowed to back out of whatever I ask you to, right? If this plan fails or succeeds, you still owe me whatever you promised.”

Eren nodded. “Of course. I swear on it.” He shifted a little so his elbow was on the table, holding out a pinky. Instinctively, you held out your pinky as well and intertwined the both of them. Pinky promises were something you and Eren had been doing for years now. It meant that the other was dead serious on their promise.

The waitress came back with your broth and dipping ingredients, setting them on the table for you right when your pinkes left each other. Thanking the waitress, the two of you talked some more while you waited for the broth to heat up.

“We should make it official. With a contract and set of rules,” he said. “Like that one movie you forced me to watch with you. The Boys I Loved or some shit like that.”

“To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before,” you corrected.

“Yeah, that. They’re kinda doing something like us, yeah?”

“Guess so,” you shrugged, picking up your chopsticks and a sice of pork belly when the broth started to boil. “After we eat though.”

Idle chatter was shared between the two of you as you ate. Even though you saw each other nearly every day, you never ran out of things to talk to. You could be talking about complete nonsense or how quantum physics made no sense, and you would still have the best time of your life.

By now, the broth had been drunk up and the table had been cleared out to be replaced with banana milk and ice cream. Eren brought out his notepad again to write down the set of rules for your fake relationship while enjoying your desserts.

Good progress had been written so far on the notepad. Both of you had given input and criticism on each rule made. In the end, you finally had a good set of rules written down.

(Y/N) and erens contract and rules for eren yaegers fool proof plan to get mina aka operation rent a gf by eren yaeger 1. act normally. eren and (Y/N) act like a couple already. just double the pda a little more 2. don’t tell anyone about the deal. the more people who believe in the relationship, the more likely it is for the plan to work 3. post each other on ig a lot. maybe add names and a date to bios to make it more believable 4. date night every saturday (go out or just hang out) 5. go to parties together 6. walk each other to class if you can 7. call each other cute pet names 8. after breaking up, the couple act has to stop including the sex 9. DON’T SLIP UP

payment for (Y/N):

Eren tapped a beat on the notepad, reading “payment” over and over again. Eventually he looked up at you, deep in thought. “Have you thought of anything so far?” he asked, clicking the pen to write what you wanted.

This was a tough decision. Eren was ready to give you anything to help him get Mina. You had to be wise and pick something big to take advantage of him. Something you were sure you wouldn’t ever regret getting.

“How about,” you started, trailing off, “you do my laundry for the rest of our time at ParadisU, buy me lunch every Wednesday even after we break up, recommend that godsend of a tutor you keep gatekeeping to help me too, and…”

“And?” Eren asked, looking up from his writing, waiting for your next words.

“All the orgasms I want during our relationship,” you finished, satisfied with what you chose.

“Is that all?” he asked, writing down the last of your words. “That’s a lot.”

“How about I let you know if I wanna add more,” you said. Eren nodded in response. His head hung to look at the notepad again, writing something down. Once he was done, he plaed the pen on the pad and slid it to you.

“Sign it so it’s official,” he instructed.

There were two lines beside each other, one already with Eren’s signature. Without hesitation, you signed your name neatly on the paper, giving the items back to Eren once you were done.

payment for (Y/N): eren has to do the (Y/N)’s laundry for the rest of university, buy her lunch ever wednesday, get tutor to help her and give her as many orgasms as she wants during the course of the relationship

signed x eren yaeger x (y/n) (l/n)

The two of you shook hands when Eren put away his things, to seal the deal again. The waitress came by again to give you the bill and collect your dirty dishes. Eren set down the cash needed to pay along with a tip in the check presenter before the two of you left.

You walked hand in hand back to Erens car before you realized you missed something. “Wait. What do we tell people when they ask how we got together?” you asked, pausing in your tracks.

Eren stopped with you, turning to look at you. “Um, you can say I confessed after lunch, and that this is technically our first date,” he suggested, tugging your hand to walk back to the car.

“Huh. Okay. That works,” you nodded.

The two of you got into the car a little bit past 2:30 in the afternoon, ready to go home. “Wait,” you said again, making Eren pause. “Mikasa wanted a burger from that one joint near our apartment. Could you take me there first?”

Eren smiled and nodded, starting the car. “Of course. Burger with medium Coke and onion rings?”

“How did you know?”

“She always gets that when we go there.”

“Huh… I guess you’re right.”

“When am I not?”

"Always."

taglist - @thestrugglesofateenagedirtbag , @lazalee , @countthemoons , @se-va-muriendo-mialma , @liaxxx109 , @prxttyguardian , @jeansbabycake

italic names, it wouldn't let me tag you!

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kanmom51 · 3 years

Text

JM JK timeline.- my observations how they grew over the years

Disclaimer: these are my own opinions and conclusions. Feel free to disagree, but hate or aggression will be unacceptable.

2017 - Part 3

Ooh, we have reached a major event here. Serendipity. 4 September 2017, or is it 1 September 2017 (??), as I will explain bellow. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEMaH9Sm3lQ&t=16s .

Or what I like to call: JM’s love ode to JK.

Now tell me this: If Jimin’s song Serendipity was released 4th September 2017, and uploaded to BangtanTv on 5th September 2017, why is the date stamped on the MV 1 Sep 2017?

Does that date mean something? Let me think for a second….oh, it does, doesn’t it? It’s someone’s birthday !!!

JM tells us himself: “All of this isn’t just a coincidence”.

Serendipity is a beautiful love song, and I honestly believe it is JM’s love ode to JK, a birthday present to his love.

I am aware that Jimin is not the one who wrote the lyrics for the song. RM did though. RM, that at this point was very much aware of the relationship and JM’s great love for JK. RM that had written JK’s Begin, a song that everyone agrees is a very personal song of JK’s.

The “I am you, you are me” line actually originated from a song released by Zico in early 2016. There are theories that Jikook used a reference from that songs MV (the band aids on their fingers) during a Puma fan sign on April 2nd 2016. So, if this is true and the line had special meaning for them to start with, and it found it’s way into the song lyrics... feel free to make your conclusions...

And although we have no way of knowing just how involved JM was in the process of writing this song (did he ask for a love song? Did he give ideas to insert into the song, like destiny, not being a coincidence, the cat?), but at the end of the day, JM ‘owns’ the song, believes in what he is singing. When he talks about the song you can feel the emotional personal connection he has with the song. This is his song, and he sings it for JK. And JK knows this is Jimin’s gift to him.

Serendipity related, check out the 18th September Dance with DNA Vlive - https://www.vlive.tv/video/42069 .

JK’s reaction when JM says Serendipity is his favourite song. So cute. The thing with this one is that you could easily overlook it or not read too much into it. Only Suga’s reaction here is the tell all.

At the point that JK is acting all shy and smiley to himself, Suga moves closer to him, whispering “Jungkookah”, something that brings on a change to JK’s entire facial expression. There’s even a slight head nod from Suga when JK wipes the smile off his face.

Suga hinting to JK not to be so obvious, only made it more obvious. I also noticed that just before JM starts singing Serendipity, just after he was asked what his favourite song from the album is, JK looks sideways to Suga, as if he knows he isn’t supposed to react too obviously – looks a bit like little JK might have been scolded or reigned in prior to the live broadcast. Remember that this is really quite a short time after the song’s release, so JK’s excitement, happiness, is still really fresh. The song is for him, and it’s JM’s favourite...

I am not going to analyse the MV, but there are many who have done so before me. Was JM involved in the planning and did he have any input to the choices made? Idk. There is a similarity to the motif of the DNA MV. Is it a coincidence that the dominant colour used is JK’s favourite colour? Who knows. But doesn’t the song say “all of this is not a coincidence”?

Add to that JM starting to use the paw print emoji by JK’s name on Twitter? A coincidence? Mmm… interesting.

From this point on it is clear that “you are me, I am you” is a JM and JK thing.

21 September 2017 BTS comeback show. JK was in charge of putting together each of the members DNA. Very enjoyable. But why did JM have to mention again that JK comes to their room to sleep? Also, how does JK know that JM doesn’t wake up Hobi when he is playing games late at night? JM telling us how he now learnt how to play games – then what games was JM good last year (re: Vlive 22 April 2017)?

22 September 2017 Love Yourself fan sign– JM singing Serendipity, JK joining in. How happy JM looks when JK sings “just let me love you” with him all while making eye contact with each other at that point. The way JM looks at JK while singing the song. Singing to him.

Still think Serendipity is not JK and JM’s song?

They have a way of looking at one another that sometimes make me feel like I’m intruding on a very intimate moment.

24 September 2017 SBS Inkigayo Super concert – found it!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fb-_jkdxgh4 start watching at 3.36min.

This is the one I remembered, where JM, saw the need to grab JK’s butt, run his hand up and down his back side, right through the crack, repeatedly. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v7fv0CaQT9M start watching 11:30min , JM walks to his place past JK, lightly brushing his hand against JK.

When I mention the brushes or light touches – this is what I mean (see attached photos). Obviously, there will be those who say it wasn’t intentional, that he was walking by him and didn’t mean to touch him. I say bollox to that (excuse the language).

First, there was plenty of room not to walk so close to JK. Second, if you notice, he circles JK only to make it back to the same actual side he was on to begin with. All he had to do was back up, just like JK did, and not circle JK to make it to his place on stage. Third, to me it looks as if he was aiming to touch JK’s hand, only it was too high up.

26 September SBS MTV The Show. Happy happy boys.

30 September 2017 Love Yourself fan sign Sinchon – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMIdoK9rfAI .

Another one I was looking for. I have seen this moment and wasn’t sure where or when it was from. This is one of those clips Jikook’s use to show Jimin being jealous, and to be honest, first time I saw it it made me wonder too. But watching it again and again, I have come to the conclusion that that wasn’t the issue.

To me this is more JM being protective than JM being Jealous. Setting the boundaries for V when it comes to JK, and it is something we see with JM more than once.

JM wasn’t happy. V wasn’t happy. Boundaries were set.

I actually wrote a separate post about this moment.

1 October 2017 BTS live – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qwU-NOMLvqQ

Tipsy JK must be a Jikooker. His guard is down, inhibitions are gone and he becomes really chatty and tends to say and do things that he most likely regrets later on. We didn’t see the members drink what seemed to be alcohol, but the vibe I got from JK’s talkativeness and behaviour during the live was that he was tipsy. Not outright drunk, but tipsy.

To the fan’s request to show his abs, JK starts checking himself out, looking under his T-shirt, only to be scolded by JM to keep it to himself. This is also the first time we hear him Jikooking, talking about eating with Jin and JM, referring to them as Jin-jikook, and then turning to JM, while the others try to call them by another name (I wonder why…). Did I not say tipsy JK is a Jikooker???

3 October 2017 Run BTS episode 22. https://www.vlive.tv/video/43438 start 7.00min.

JM turns to JK asking him to vote for him. The softness in JM’s voice when he asks him acting all coquettish. The way JM approached JK and the way he spoke to him, that’s not the way someone talks to his mate, or to his ‘brother’.

There was a softness in the approach to JK. coquettish is the only way I can describe it.

Love hearts were added by the show’s editors, not me !!!!

12 October 2017 BTS countdown. Can be found on Dailymotion.

All JM had to say was one word – Jungkookah and JK, surprisingly (not) chose him. The look of joy on their faces at that point. And again the editors with the heart emoji effects. Uhm…

JM and JK’s team was the team chosen by the fans, and guess what song they both choose to sing, as JM piggy backed JK? Their song obviously… Serendipity.

And yet again, JM gets to tell us JK comes to his room to sleep. We hear you JM. We hear you.

Jimin birthday surprise (BangtanTV 1 November 2017) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6aAhNAl53ZY.

JM gets flowers sent from his father. J-Hope and Suga pretend JM’s dad has arrived to surprise JM, Suga pointing and saying he saw him. JK slowly backs up, shocked and alarmed smile on his face, trying to move behind RM. Then the boys start laughing.

Now, why do I think this is a moment worthy of my timeline? Well, when the boys start laughing, revealing it was a joke, the one Suga points at, laughingly, is JK.

The whole thing feels like a joke on JK, not JM. JK is the one being teased. Why would JK be so stressed out from JM’s dad being there? And why would the boys be teasing him like that? Hm…

The funny thing is that the camera is on JK and Suga, not on JM, who was supposedly just told his father was there. That feels slightly strange to me. Wouldn’t they want to catch JM’s reaction? Not JK’s?

28-30 October 2017 JK and JM Tokyo trip together. This trip was long anticipated by JM. He had been looking forward for his trip with JK for a long time. It was a private trip planned and paid for by JK as a gift for JM. What we know about the trip is mostly what they tell us in retrospect.

Saying that, this was truly a memorable trip for them both, and they both can’t seem to shut up about it, talking about it at any possible moment. JK telling us how JM stayed up (only JM?) until 5 am, so they both woke up at 12pm and missed out on plans they had for the morning, JM tells how they went shopping in Harajuku, how during their trip was the longest walk they took, referring to their trip during interviews. As I mentioned – a memorable trip.

31 October 2017 - When returning from the trip JM posts a selca/selfie. I know I said I won’t be doing this, but rules are sometimes meant to be broken, and this specific selca is gorgeous, so…

BTS Wings tour Japan documentary - filmed October 2017, published 12 November 2017 - https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x7sz5rq .

Both acting cute together. For some reason, they are the only ones that are paired for the one on one interviews, when Suga, Jin and Hobi were all interviewed by themselves.

Felt like JM and inhibitions were strangers during the group interview.

Not really sure what JM was searching for in JK’s thigh during the group interview (when V was talking) – tupping, fingering and squeezing JK’s thigh. And yet again RM and J-Hope’s reactions to die for. Hobi eyes on the action throughout the whole episode, and RM when he notices, I would pay a lot of money to know what was going through his head at that point. My educated guess is: “God, please get me out of here, why did I agree to be the leader????” LOL.

Then when asked what their impressions were when coming to the dome, JM tells how JK was crying, all while caressing JK’s ear. JK tells how he was emotional, and they look at each other. All the while, RM’s face when JM touches JK’s ear, only to continue to place his hands on their shoulders respectively.

JM continues to surprise, telling viewers to anticipate for JK’s sweat. The minute he says that, RM turns to look towards Suga, the vibe I get is: “god, please help me here…”.

Then JM goes on to tell us how in his opinion JK’s sweat is beautiful, Holy water. What???? J-hope repeats JM’s Holy water, then glances for just a second towards RM and looks down nervously – great save Hobi.

The group interview was shot on JM’s birthday. Maybe that had something to do with his good un-inhibited mood.

8 November 2017 – GCF in Tokyo - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XrTNLkqGrlc .

While the Tokyo trip was JK’s birthday gift or JM. GCF Tokyo is JK’s love ode to JM.

One of JK’s grand gestures. Up there with RB, as far as I am concerned.

This is not an analysis of GCFT, but I do have a few words to say on the matter. Explain why in my eyes this is a JK’s love ode to JM.

This video was filmed and edited by JK, and JK alone. It supposedly documents their trip together. It was his choice and his alone to edit and publish this video and did so to JM’s surprise.

In the video to start with, he lets us know that it’s the two of them, but from there on, other than seeing JK through the mirrors in the elevator while he is filming JM, the one we mostly see is JM. JM smiling, JM goofing around, JM eating, JM enjoying himself on the Tea Cup ride at Disneyland, JM walking, JM dancing, and as a whole just JM having the time of his life. For a video that is documenting a trip to Tokyo, there is not too much of Tokyo we get to see.

The end credits name JK as the photographer, director and editor, while naming JM as the actor.

There is a strong romantic vibe to the video.

JK’s editing choices, including his music choice for the video are well thought out. His choice to edit to the beat of the song. All cleverly thought out to accentuate both the footage and the lyrics of the song he chose: ‘There for you’ by Troye Sivan and Martin Garrix.

JM told us already: “this is not a coincidence”.

The level of preparation from JK, acquiring the rights to use the song, the amount of time it took to go over the footage and edit the video, all while managing to do that will a full working schedule (working throughout the night). This was clearly something big for him. His joy and pride when it was uploaded to Youtube, clearly showed, him smiley and dancing.

2 days prior to GCFT, on 6 November 2017, JM published his short clip of the trip. JM too took the time to edit a cute footage of the trip, documenting both of them having fun. Putting them both side by side only emphasizes the difference and showcases just how much GCFT was all about JM, being JK’s love ode to JM.

To be continued...

#jungkook #jimin #JK #JM #Jikook #Jikook are real #Jikook timeline #JMJK timeline #JKJM timeline #GCFT #Serendipity #Kookmin #Kookmin timeline

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