Tumgik
#idk idk I just. have a bad feeling
kyluxtrashpit · 8 months
Text
Another old cat health ramble. Just cause sometimes I need to write things out
She’s still doing surprisingly well considering how increasingly unsettling she looks (if you follow me on twitter and open the sensitive content warnings, you know what she looks like - it’s spooky. I don’t post pics here cause there’s no real easy way to censor so it’s an opt in if you want to see her current state or not). And I think the cancer has definitely spread to her inner ear, as her balance problems are getting worse. She wobbled so bad she just about did a somersault yesterday when licking the hairball goo I give them every night off her front leg. Sometimes she rubs the area and it’s not great but it’s still manageable and it seems more like it just feels uncomfy sometimes (which I try to alleviate with the lubricant, but she doesn’t love that either so. Delicate balance)
But despite all that, she’s still so full of life and seemingly pain free. She still plays, eats, snuggles - if you covered up the affected part of her face and chocked the occasional wobble up to her being old or something, you’d never know there was anything wrong with her. She’s still so happy and tbh it. Doesn’t really make sense that she’s doing so well
Like I don’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth here but. It is strange. I expected her to be worse by now and I figured her even living to see october was a 50/50 shot. I had been hoping she’d last until this weekend, as it’s a long weekend, and unless anything goes downhill super quickly (which is absolutely possible), she’s going to sail right through without an issue. November? I don’t think it’ll happen based on the historical rate of growth from month to month but. She’s also really barely declined. The tumour is notably bigger and her balance is off but. That’s it
Idk I should be happy she’s doing so well but I can’t help but like. Feel on edge about it. Like whatever’s going to happen is going to be a really quick decline. She could pass suddenly in her sleep at any time too, or her heart could just stop or a blot clot or so many other things that would be sudden and instant. And while a long, slow deterioration is it’s own hell, so is a quick one that you don’t have the chance to prepare for. There’s no good way for it to happen but. Idk. It just makes me nervous that she’s still doing so well even though I know I should be grateful and cherishing it
Idk. There’s no real point here, it’s mostly a ramble. I feel like I’ve been preparing for it to happen any day for months, have been already mourning her for all this time. But she’s still kicking and is basically the same as she always is. And I’m happy for that, I truly truly am, but idk, I can’t help but think it’s a sign that when the time does come, there will be little to no warning. And while it sucks no matter how it happens, idk, I just can’t help being on edge about that because it still sucks, but there is at least some comfort in having at least some warning
10 notes · View notes
inkskinned · 10 months
Text
because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
48K notes · View notes
lazylittledragon · 4 months
Note
Please please tell me that Tara just loves baby dekarios
oh she’s invested from day ZERO
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
top 10 pictures taken right before a specimen jar ‘accidentally’ falls off a shelf ^^^
4K notes · View notes
mroddmod · 2 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
little scrapped comic bc it felt a bit ooc to me in hindsight
1K notes · View notes
deadsetobsessions · 2 months
Text
Danny stared at his nemesis, slowing his walk to a complete stop.
“Don’t,” he pleaded.
The devil incarnate glared back at him, somehow conveying its disdain, disinterest, and malicious intent in one cold stare.
“I swear to Ancients-!”
Mr. Muffins, Jazz’s college cat, meowed loudly and slapped the glass off of the counter.
“No!” Danny dove at the glass, skidding across the tile just in time to catch Jazz’ favorite cup as tipped over and plummeted towards the cold hard floor. “Oh my- you little devil! Mr. Muffins, you little shit!”
Mr. Muffins flicked a tail and sat down calmly as Danny sprung back up to place the cup into the sink.
“You stinky bastard, Jazz would have killed me!”
Danny picked the cat up and held him by the armpits, dangling the cat. Mr. Muffins, no longer simply disdainful, meowed loudly and tried to wiggle away.
“Listen, here, Mr. Muffins- ah! No, you’re not allowed to run away! You have to take responsibility for your actions,” Danny slipped into Ghost Speak as he lectured Mr. Muffins, a rather harried look smushed across his face. He didn’t hear the door open, but he did hear Jazz call out to him.
“Danny, stop bullying Mr. Muffins!”
“Maybe if you parented Mr. Muffins right, he wouldn’t be trying to knock your favorite cup all over the place! If it weren’t for me,” Danny swayed Mr. Muffins, who had become docile as he caught sight of Jazz, like a fluffy and long pendulum. “Your cup would be pieces all over the floor right now!”
Jazz tossed her keys onto the table. “Right… and that definitely didn’t have anything to do with you putting your cup too close to the edge like I told you not to?”
Danny stared at her, mouth gaping in offense. Alright, so it did have to do with that, but it was offensive how fast she came to that conclusion. Danny said as much to Jazz, who smirked and plucked her cat from his grip.
“Have you considered that you’re easily predictable, dork?” Jazz cuddled Mr. Muffins, who was purring up a storm, and walked towards her room.
“Rude! Are you calling me basic?”
“If the shoes fit, Danny-O!” Jazz hollered back. Mr. Muffins mewed as if to punctuate her sentence.
“I hate that cat,” Danny grumbled, grinning fondly. “Now that you’re back, I’m gonna go visit Tim and Tucker! They’re over at Tucker’s for a project!”
“Kay!” Jazz yelled back. “Don’t run into to much trouble and be back before three A.M.!”
“Yes, mother!” Danny put on his shoes and started walking.
——
Danny, along with a handful of dumbstruck civilians, stared down at the unconscious clown. Then, they stared at Danny’s hand in shock and awe. Danny too, stared at his own hand, but in abject betrayal.
“Shit. Jazz is gonna kill me.” He mumbled, pulling out his phone.
“Hey, Tucker. Yeah, sorry, I’m gonna be late.” Danny paused, glancing back down at the clown, up at the still shocked goons, and sighed. “I- uh, knocked out the Joker by accident. Maybe broke his nose.”
Danny heard Tim’s muffled “WHAT?!” and silently concurred because what? He thought villains in Gotham were made of sturdier stuff?!
“Can you tell Jazz? I gotta,” Danny held up the phone, so it could pick up the loud sirens approaching his position. “Deal with the cops.”
Danny pouted as Tucker laughed at him.
1K notes · View notes
welcometogrouchland · 4 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
ANOTHER SKETCH DUMP! Featuring more of me playing with lineless art. Batman reborn era trio (dick, damian and steph) I miss you...when will you return from war. Also featuring Steph designs bc I've seen ppl dissatisfied w/ her current look, some good mom Talia, and Jason Todd poetry club. Duke is confused not that Jason would start a poetry club but that he'd have such mid poetry opinions. (ID in Alt)
#dc comics#batfamily#damian wayne#stephanie brown#dick grayson#talia al ghul#duke thomas#cassandra cain#mine#woo new art tag. please god let me keep this up all year#uhh anyway yeah! still a big backlog of sketches but i got burnt out which means i had time to collect some#i feel like my art looks. extremely different w/o lines compared to with? idk i worry that's it weird/off-putting#but hey at the end of the day I'm hardly worrying about my brand integrity on tumblr dot com#duke and cass being at poetry club is based on them canonically being into poetry and for a good while duke and jason got along well#Steph is there for both jason and cass' emotional support (unfortunately there's a design flaw. she can't do both simultaneously)#(which is fine bc cass is fleeing the scene at the idea of having to casually hang out with jason)#(they're the exact amount of similar and more importantly different that it's like putting two firecrackers together. bad)#i really like the steph mask designs... it'd be fun to do something with them but idk what y'know?#I'm just like. if we're assuming that her mask has to be different from both babs and cass then this is what I've got as alternatives#i mostly wanted to practice character interaction with the talia and damian one... and also i love them#looking at james gunns batman movie proposal. you keep your hands OFF HER MR GUNN#please if shes evil in a movie they're never gonna let her be good in the comics again 😭#dc when you inevitably cave and do your next big reboot let the ppl finally have the son of the demon origin (w/ tweaks of course)#idk it's canon in my heart. heartcanon if you will <3#anyway yeah uhhhhhh enjoy?
1K notes · View notes
rrat-king · 7 days
Text
i know that everyone is really stuck on mary ann in this whole deal of the rat grinders just being kids/not deserving to die but one thing that i really got caught on was ruben saying "you were killing my friends, i had to psychic scream" as fig is wailing on him. cuz he's right.
the bad kids were downed several times in this battle, and if they didn't fight back they would have died. cuz that was the goal, to kill them, so the only way for them to survive is to kill the rat grinders right back. and yeah that sucks in the ethical scheme of things if you were hoping for a redemption arc (i kinda was too) but both parties were put in an impossible situation by shitty adults and the only way out was to kill eachother, the bad kids just happen to be better at what they do.
640 notes · View notes
shimmershy · 6 months
Text
Tumblr media
I've been longing for Daisies to push through the floor And I wish plant life would grow all around me So I won't feel dead anymore
1K notes · View notes
willowser · 8 months
Text
really what prompted my double boy dad bakugou post was the idea of his older son — who is six, nearing seven — coming out of his room with messy, sleep-mussed hair and wandering into the kitchen on an early morning when katsuki's getting ready for work.
and your youngest is a little terror. spoiled rotten, katsuki thinks, was too babied and that's why he doesn't listen and has temper tantrums in the middle of the floor and is already throwing punches at three. katsuki's old witch of a mother thinks he'll be bulkier than his older son and twice as mean, prone to pinning his brother to the ground until he's declared the greatest.
(katsuki feels both horror and pride, at the very thought.)
it hasn't always been easy for your oldest; becoming a big brother never is. not that katsuki would know what that's like, but he hated to even share a playground with deku, much less share his one and only mommy, so he can only imagine what his own son went through when his brother arrived.
but he's been great about it, which comes as no surprise because his oldest has always been great about everything. gets his little brother out of bed and reminds him of his manners—even as he's getting whacked—gives up his toys just so the baby won't cry. he's too smart for his own good, acting like a big boy now—and it makes katsuki nostalgic in a way that hurts.
there hasn't been a lot of time for just the two of them. not like there used to be.
so when his firstborn comes to stand beside him in the kitchen, to lean his head against his dad's hip and rub at his sleepy eyes—katsuki just ruffles his already messy hair, before giving his ear a little tug.
"should be asleep," he grumbles to him, "sun's not even up yet."
his son only shrugs, yawns hard; despite this, he says, "'m not tired."
katsuki snorts and continues with his routine: finishes his protein shake, gives the kid a sip when he thinks he wants one (he doesn't really, though he tries not to make a face at the taste as he nods, as if he likes it), makes sure he's got all his work shit in his bag for patrol later. and his son is mostly quiet, content to share in the morning just between the two of them after katsuki sits him on the counter.
and then he asks, "can i come to work with you?"
on instinct, katsuki glances at his shut bedroom door, where you're still fast asleep, on the other side, and then down the hallway to where his youngest is sleeping, too.
technically, the kid probably could because you're off work today, and you could come pick him up later before katsuki has to head out, but—
"your brother won't be happy if i take you and not him."
and your oldest is a good big brother. has more patience than katsuki ever did, knows how to share—but on this morning that the two of them are indulging in, he only shrugs.
"well," he sighs—and he sounds so grown up, sounds like you when you're leveling with katsuki. "if he wanted to go then he should have got up, too."
"that why you're awake?" katsuki frowns, though his son only shrugs again. the idea that he's gotten up way too early, at the ass-crack of dawn just to have some extra time with his dad is too—
"yeah," katsuki murmurs, nodding at him to hop off the counter. "get your socks on so we can go."
there won't be anything for him to do in the agency office, besides get an endless amount of cups of water from the dispenser and all the candy in the receptionist's bowl and attention from the older ladies that thinks he's just so stinking cute.
but at least they'll be together, just the two of them. like old times.
2K notes · View notes
stuckinapril · 4 days
Text
I genuinely love not having a crush like I’m not over here feeling physically sick over some mid guy being dry to me I’m literally chilling
#Spring semester of last year was so bad bc I was unironically into 3 guys at once and they were all#Being dry and cryptic to me#And then before that in 2022 I had my horrid situationship#I had a mini obsession arc in dec 2023 over someone but now there hasn’t been anyone since#And my palette is so cleansed#When a girl is like I miss having a crush I’m like you’re literally a masochist#There was very briefly a girl I thought I had a crush on when I realized I’m bicurious but#I haven’t put effort into talking to her bc the idea of pursuing anyone makes me wanna claw my eyes out#I’m pretty sure I ghosted her by like just not responding to her last messsge actually#Not on purpose but more so bc I realized I was feeling the same anxiety I felt whenever I had a crush so I was like#Yeah I’m dropping this for now#I’m also always the most present for my friends when I don’t have a crush so idk#Like I don’t wanna be consumed by anyone I just wanna chill#The solution to not having normal attraction to people is just to not be attracted to anyone at all#I fr cracked it#I always just crave the butterflies out of it and never an actual relationship anyway#But they’re so not worth it#Which is why I always get bored of guys who’re forthright like oh ok you actually WANT something…. U don’t wanna just have fun#Not for me#I think the guys I’m into and I typically diverge in the sense that neither of us wants a relationship but they just wanna fuck me#And I more so just want the butterflies experience / to playact couple for like a couple months but nothing too serious#Which is why it never works#Like it’s not that it doesn’t work bc either of us wants a relationship it’s more that what we want out of the situationship is different#So lame#Ok this was a lot but I literally came to this epiphany while writing these tags
412 notes · View notes
excali8ur · 7 months
Text
Tumblr media
I wonder what kind of music Mona would like
959 notes · View notes
inkskinned · 9 months
Text
he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.
except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?
at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.
except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.
about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.
he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.
#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag#writeblr#it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal#fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho)#healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy#im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage....#1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind#and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes#2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception''#3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.''#idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh#im sure there are people who have this experience normally#but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists#when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band''#edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful#once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large#but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry.#but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes#but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally.#i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes#people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism#but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet .#i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY#and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound.#but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in#i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too.#here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change#was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort)#choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL
5K notes · View notes
toytulini · 10 months
Text
listen im ace and im pro kink at pride and whatever, but the way some of yall are wording your posts in response to the backlash against it is uh. really taking me back to the ace shitcourse era.
yall know theres nothing wrong with being a "virgin", right? that its not inherently shameful to have not had sex, to never have sex, even if youre not ace, even if you do want to have sex someday, like, its fine that you haven't had sex?
maybe if your problem is that theyre trying to police your behavior and shame you for expressing your sexuality, you can say that? instead of resorting to "haha stupid virgin gets no bitches" like my god. do you not hear how fucking regressive that attitude is? i know, i know, youre "joking".
get a better joke
#toy txt post#god im going to regret this post im gonna regret it so much i can feel it in my bones#let it flop..........pls#internalize my message let it sink in and understand what i am saying and then let the post flop#i say. knowing the ppl who need to see such a message are the ones who will make me regret this post and regrwt not having#1 million bajillion disclaimers#virgin is in quotes bc its a bullshit made up stupid purity culture concept anyway and quite frankly i hate even seeing the word#disclaimer: the previous sentence is not me saying that it is a slur for asexuals. it is me a single individual saying this specific word#grosses me out to read and see everywhere when its a stupid bullshit binary made up or at least historically largely used#to shame largely women and i dont know why we're still using it in 2023#and ive just been. seeing such an uptick in this whole like. attitude? lately and like#im ace im minorly sex repulsed. mostly about anything sex at me bad. other adults sex at each other consensually? go wild#i like to think im pretty chill about it. i try to be. i think its fine ig to be like 'my meat is huge i fuck so much so good'#like okay not my thing but good for you. love that for you#but then some of yall have started turning it back around back to. 'haha your meat so small and shriveled you get no bitches'#'haha stupid incel virgin' like okay. didnt realize we all went back to fucking. middle school but okay#god im gonna run out of tine to get ready for my thing writing this stupid post UGH evil#but like idk we've kinda circled back to being like haha being a virgin still is stupid and silly and shameful#and if im quite honest. i do think the acecourse played a part in that bc i felt like we were making good progress in like#hey guys is fine to not have sex ever if you dont want to its fine to not want sex its fine#and then aphobes went fucking rabid on us and splintered and destroyed online communities all over but especially on tumblr#and so many aces went back in the closet we stopped talking about it we stopped spreading awareness and now this stupid goddamn like#and now this stupid bullshit attitude is back where its like funny to call someone a virgin as an insult but like no bro trust me its okay#its okay for me to do it bc im a hot queer person with huge meat instead of a cisstraight frat bro with huge meat#? like you know the issue was the behavior right? not the fact that it was straight dudes saying it? its bc the thing being said was shitty?#you know you can dunk on the puritan bitches trying to police your behavior at pride without getting us as collateral damage right#stop making me read that stupid ugly ass word ur not cool or funny#whatever#if you come on to this post to start shit i will not only block you but as many of your mutuals and followers as i can find. i will scroll#i will block this entire fucking website if i need to do not test me. i am exhausted and the acecourse ate up all my tolerance in 2015.
1K notes · View notes
turtleblogatlast · 3 months
Text
[ cw: trauma / mind control / separation anxiety / autophobia / ]
Something that kills me is that there’s no way in hell that Raph’s debilitating separation anxiety isn’t infinitely worse after the movie. The trauma of being Krangified like that, all alone, would probably regress him so hard.
Not to mention his worries of getting “weird” would likely get mixed up with his experience while Krangified - aka, he loses full awareness, and when he’s brought “back” it’s to the understanding that he attacked his own family (of course not to his own fault at all, but how much of that does he believe?)
The fear of being alone would take on another layer and become a fear of himself.
421 notes · View notes
mugentakeda · 6 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
category 5 jetko moment
514 notes · View notes
caecia · 10 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
chosen by the goddess
742 notes · View notes