#idk i think im just so spread thin that everything i ever do im doing poorly bc i just Cant. and im in pain constantly | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wri0thesley · 3 years

Note

omg wait no hold on I just requested overhaul but then I remembered your overhaul thirst post about him pulling a "curing hysteria~" as an excuse and thought I'd request something along that vibe (no oun intended). I think that'd fall under orgasm control, overstim? (hope this is okay!)

hysteria antidote - overhaul x fem!reader (4k)

seeing nothing but the same four walls every day of your life is playing havoc with your brain. overhaul thinks perhaps you're suffering from hysteria. he has the perfect cure for that.

cw: not sfw/minors dni. dark content!!! dubious/non-consent. captive reader. talk of death, blood, etc. medical kink, gloves, fingering, overstimulation, orgasm control. misogyny. mentions of pregnancy/breeding. afab reader, fem pronouns.

[a/n: idk the internet said the 28th of may was his birthday so consider this both a birthday fic and a fic to celebrate 6k followers, sorry that i am gross and horrible but tbh im having a great time <3]

You really don’t think it’s unreasonable for you to be going out of your mind.

Since the Boss was taken ill, and Kai – Overhaul, you remind yourself, though he’s always just a little less sharp with you when you trip over the new name than he is with anyone else – took over leadership of the Shie Hassaikai, you’ve been pretty much stuck indoors.

Considering that you’re pretty sure he only has fond feelings towards maybe three people in the entire world, including you, you guess you ought to feel special about it – but all it actually does is make you feel like a trapped bird, caged and restless. It doesn’t help that all of the other members of the organisation have started being weird around you; people who you’ve known most of your adult life, people who you’ve worked beside and killed beside and done other horrible things beside (for the good of the organisation, of course)--

But now, they look at you like you might break at any moment. They treat you like an invalid. Their brows crease when they see you out and about, quietly murmuring; “Shouldn’t you still be in your room?”, avoiding touching you at all costs. There’s a kind of fear in their eyes, that they’re going to be told off for even speaking to you, that they’re afraid of being caught close to you.

And you know exactly who’s to blame for that.

You’d tried to speak to him about it, once; you’d thought that perhaps he might be amenable to your desire to do something to help the Shie Hassaikai. He’s always wanted to restore them to their former glory, after all! But after you’d let out your little impassioned tirade, his eyebrows had creased over the bird-mask.

“You don’t sound well,” he’d said to you. “Go back to your room. I’ll talk to you about it later.”

You had missed, at the time, that he hadn’t said ‘we’ll talk about it later’. He’d just said ‘I’ll’. When he had come, that is how it had been; the reassurance that he was keeping you safe. That he didn’t want you to be tainted. That he was keeping you well.

Your quirklessness has never been an issue before, but it certainly hasn’t been a boon. Still, for Kai--

“It’s disgusting,” he’d said, agitated by the discussion. You’d stared at his hands, thinking about the destructive power he himself wielded. “Quirks are a curse, and you not having one is just proof you’re not infected.” He’d looked up, golden eyes piercing directly into yours. “I’m going to keep you perfect.”

Overhaul is not a doctor, for all of his talk about illness and disease and plague. You think he could have used his quirk for something meaningful, once; but you also know that his burning curiousity, his disgust of anyone who deems tainted, his utter lack of morality . . . those are all things that would not have been welcomed in the medical profession. So instead, he deals in needles and pills and altering drugs in the underground labyrinth of the compound.

Sterile rooms, with examination tables and scalpels and impersonal, silver-grey equipment. Pill boxes that rattle when he passes them to you and tells you to take three of those a day, one of those, that one has to be taken to with food--

The idea that you won’t take them doesn’t enter his head, and though he has never . . . overhauled someone in front of you, you have walked past other members of the organisation mopping and disinfecting blood and gristle from sterile flooring.

It is better to go along with him, so you take the supplements and the pills and submit to the way he grabs your chin in gloved hands on the doctor’s chair, tipping your face up to shine a light into your eyes and watch your pupils dilate. But inside, you are screaming.

You’re not made to be locked in one room, occasionally allowed out to pace the hallways of the upstairs – never the underground ones, not any more – with restless footsteps and your muscles fizzing with desire to taste fresh air. You’re not made to stare at the same walls and breathe the purified air and think about how empty the compound is, now that Overhaul is in charge of everything--

(Too many knick-knacks attract dust. Pollen allergies act up, if there are too many plants, and he hates hearing people sneeze. Furniture should be easily movable and barren, to assist in the twice-daily cleanings of every room that people walk through.)

But it’s getting too much for you. Suffocating. You feel like you’re choking on air all of the time; you take the pills, because the thought of what he could do to you is terrifying, but sometimes you wonder if perhaps it would be better if you didn’t.

You’d woken up that morning to the sound of rain hitting the high windows in your bedroom, and you had longed to go outside in your thin nightwear and spread your arms and taste the air, smell the rain, feel it hit your body in fat droplets. Your entire being had ached. You’d tried to distract yourself, with what little there was in the barren prison cell that you called a bedroom – but when the door opened at four thirty exactly, and Kai had stood there with his face as impassive as ever, you had not been able to stop yourself.

Hand fastening around his upper arm (you shouldn’t touch him, you know you shouldn’t, but the same four walls are getting to you), you’d begged him;

“I want to go outside.”

If anyone else had touched him like that, they would already be splattered against the walls and floor. But all you get is a furrow of his eyebrows, careful fingers (gloved, of course; the latex against your skin always makes you shudder) pinching at your hand to get you to let go of him.

“No,” he says. “You’ll catch a cold.”

“I don’t care,” you’re petulant, you know, frustration bubbling up in every cell of your body. “If I stay in here for one more day, I will tear myself into pieces.”

“You’re being over-dramatic.”

“Kai—”

“Don’t call me that.” His rebuttal is sharp. “You know I’m doing this for your own good.”

Your face twists into something ugly. Overhaul hates it when you do that; hates the way your brow wrinkles, your mouth moves, your normally lovely face (one of very few he can bear to look at unmasked and not feel as though he is going to get sick from merely breathing the same air of you) marred.

“You’re not,” you hiss at him. “You’re doing this because you’re fucked up! Because you’ve got some weird fucking ideas about what’s clean and what’s unclean, because you’re on a power trip, because you don’t care about other people--” Your voice is pitching and modulating, all of the things that you usually try and keep balled up inside of you spilling out that the floodgates of how unhappy you are is open.

You’re breathing heavy as Overhaul, clearly irked by what you’re saying, tugs at the wrist of one of his surgical gloves. If he’s going to kill you, good – at least it will be better than this, you think, your breath coming in short sharp pants after the outburst.

He lets go. His hands fall to his sides. His golden gaze on you is very level.

“You’re hysterical,” he tells you. An exasperated laugh falls from your mouth.

“Yeah?” You ask him. “Of course I am. Do you know the last time I breathed fresh air?”

“Seven months, two weeks, three days.” He says it without blinking. Your shoulders tense. Has it really been that long? “You haven’t been ill once in that time. The world out there is filthy.”

“It’s normal to get sick,” you try and tell him, but Overhaul is moving forward; past the doorway, and into your room. The door clicks shut behind him, the sound of a lock ominous. You don’t think you’ve ever been alone with Kai in your bedroom.

In the medical examination rooms, sure. In his office. In common areas, back when he was just the boss’ troubled protege and not the boss himself--

His eyebrows twitch in disgust as he notices the dust on your bookshelves. You’d stopped letting any of the cleaners in here a month ago; you’d refused to clean in the mean time, taking whatever small victory against your captor that you could.

“You’ll give yourself respiratory issues,” he says.

“Good,” your voice is cold, but you realise you’ve backed away from him. For all of your attempts to stand up to him, you’re terrified. Everyone knows what he can do. “Better dead than here--”

Gloved fingers around your wrist, so tight you can practically feel them bruising.

“You don’t mean that,” he says. His voice has gotten softer, cajoling. You’re trembling in his grip. “I told you. You’re hysterical.”

“I know exactly what I’m saying,” you say, but your words feel like you’re spitting them out around a mouthful of gravel. “I—I’m calm--”

Your knees knock against your bed, but Overhaul is still clinging to you; still too close. Your heart is beating so fast that you can hear it pounding in your ears.

“You’re not. You’re hysterical.” He repeats it, calmly. The hand not on your wrist reaches up and cups your face, a gloved thumb stroking across your cheek as if you’re the most delicate thing he’s ever touched. The scent of the latex is overwhelming. “But that’s alright. It’s not your fault.” He clicks his tongue behind the mask. “It’s mine. All of this checking for the physical sickness, and I didn’t think about checking your head.”

You fall onto the bed as his knees knock against yours, your back hitting the wall. It’s just a plain, single bed; rumpled sheets, because you’d fought against any attempt for someone to come in and collect your laundry, too. Overhaul looks silly in your room, you think dimly; like a huge black crow in the nest of a small, frightened wren.

“If you fight,” he tells you, “I’ll disassemble you. I’d rather not. I don’t want to taint you by using my quirk. But . . .” He’s sinking to his knees in front of you, those same methodical hands pushing up the skirt of your dress. “If I did, I’d get a blank mind to work with. I won’t hesitate. But I’d still rather simply fix you without having to break you into pieces first.”

You know him too well to think that he’s bluffing.

After all of the vitriol you’ve spat at him, he’s unwilling to kill you. Would it be worse, to be mindless and brainless under Kai’s quirk? You’ve heard some of his failed experiments before; babbling, drooling, broken things. He’s killed them sometimes just to put them out of their misery.

What if he did that, and your mind remained perfectly capable – just utterly unable to communicate with your body? A prisoner in your own skin. Worse than even now. You swallow back the lump of fear.

“H-how are you going to do that?” You ask him.

You start at how cold the gloved fingers are on your bare thighs, as Overhaul pushes them apart. Cold fear prickles down your spine. You’re too scared to fight back, but everything he’s doing is making you want to run.

“Did you know,” Overhaul says, those same hands sliding higher, to tug at the waistband of your underwear. “In the past, there were rumours that doctors would cure hysteria by genital massage and stimulation?”

His words are very clinical, but there’s a thickness to his voice behind the mask that fills you with revulsion.

“It might be nonsense, of course,” he says. Your underwear is being tugged down, pulled around your thighs, your knees, your ankle. “They theorised that the best cure was regular intercourse, male semen, pregnancy and childbirth--”

“Kai—” Your voice is a soft whine, fear-filled. This time, he doesn’t snap at you for calling him by the name he’s left behind. He simply says;

“Spread your legs.”

You don’t want to. But you want to risk what he’s threatening you with even less, so you tearfully open them as wide as you can go. He shifts forward, and the tip of the beaked mask digs into your inner thigh as he studies you like you’re nothing more than a diagram, not a living, breathing person--

“Next time I’ll have lubricant ready,” he says, under his breath, and your heart seizes up at the implication that whatever he’s going to do to you, there’ll be a next time.

You start at the sensation of gloved fingers gently parting the lips of your sex, Overhaul’s golden eyes drinking in the sight of you spread open and bare. You’re shaking, but for some reason the way he’s looking at you – the utter concentration in his eyes – makes a curl of heat flare deep inside of you.

“Don’t,” you breathe, trying not to squirm. “Please--”

“I don’t want to have to,” he says. His tone remains calm, unbothered. “I’m doing it for your own good, you know that. Just helping you along.” One finger slides through the slit; the sensation of the gloves against your most intimate, heated parts makes the muscles in your thighs clench. It’s . . . not exactly unpleasant, but neither it is pleasant. “Do you think I’m getting any pleasure out of this?”

He doesn’t like getting his hands dirty. You know this; everyone knows this. If this particular thought was so unpleasant to him, you don’t doubt he’d have found somebody else to do it (the thought of one of the other members of the Shie Hassaikai doing this to you fills you with even more revulsion than the idea of Overhaul himself). But you can’t say that out loud. Not after what he’s threatened. So you press your lips together and shake your head, gasp dying in your throat as one of Overhaul’s latex-covered fingers prods gently around your opening.

“You’re getting wet,” he tells you, as if you can’t feel the shameful slick beginning to leak from you. “That will make this easier. Good.”

You hate that the praise makes another jolt of arousal go through you. You don’t want to like the feeling of his gloves, rubbing at your heated cunt; the sensation of a fingertip circling around your entrance, brushing the bud of your clit and making you want to clamp your thighs around his hand.

He sinks the tip of one finger inside of you and you jerk, your hips out of your control as you try and sink away from the intrusion. Overhaul clicks his tongue again in annoyance at you. The hand holding the lips of your cunt open moves, to land on your hip and pin you between the bed and the wall so you can’t squirm again.

“I’ll sedate you next time, if I have to,” he says. “I’m not getting anything out of this. I’d prefer not to have to do it at all--”

He’s lying. You know he is. But you can’t call him out for it, so you press your trembling lips together and try to stop tears spilling out from your lash line as the finger inside of you sinks further and further inside, past his first knuckle, right down to the base.

He crooks it inside of you and your hands curl into the bedsheets, nails digging into your palms through cotton. His touch is curious, exploratory; has he ever actually done this to anybody before? He slides over a rough patch inside of you with the latex-tipped finger and a moan escapes your mouth against your will, your head falling back against the wall. Narrowed golden eyes look up at you as he repeats the motion; taking in the gloss of your lips, the widening of your eyes, the way your shoulders are shaking up and down.

You can feel yourself pumping more slick out; helping the glide of his finger inside of you, as he begins to carefully thrust it in and out of you. His touch is made all the more impersonal by the mask obscuring everything but his eyes and eyebrows; you can’t even hear him breathing.

Your cunt is fluttering around him, pleasure swarming you in breathless waves as he withdraws his finger entirely. He lifts the glove to his eyeline, looking only vaguely interested in how the white latex glimmers with your arousal.

“I’m going to use two now,” he tells you – and that is all the warning you get before two fingers beside one another are opening you up, scissoring your tight channel apart with an ache that you feel up to your hips. You bite back the whimper, but you’re unable to stop the choked breaths that are falling from you as he fucks you with them in steady, constant thrusts.

A covered thumb brushes your clit; swollen, now. Sensitive. Standing to attention. Your hips attempt to jerk in his hold once more, a strangled noise that’s neither pleasured nor pain falling from your throat. You’ve touched yourself, of course you have – even recently, just to try and assuage some of the boredom that fills your exactly-the-same days – but Overhaul’s fingers and thumbs and touch on you are so entirely different from that.

He continues his assault over your clit, those same eyes watching you with that same detached, clinical disposition that he’s had most of the time. There’s a cast to them that suggests there’s something more, but whatever emotion – if, indeed, he’s still capable of that – he’s feeling about having you at his mercy in this way has been pushed to the back of his mind as his thumb rolls and pinches at the bud.

Your body goes all-over heat, Overhaul’s fingers still pumping in and out of you, the slick noises of your shaming wetness echoing around the prison of the four walls you’ve spent seven months in. You’re teetering on the edge of something, hot and needy and wanting – and as Overhaul’s thumb sweeps over your poor aching clit again, you tilt your hips forward for as much stimulation as you can--

And he pulls his fingers out of you.

The heat fades into nothingness as you let out a noise of disappointment. Overhaul’s head tilts to one side, considering.

“What do you want?” He asks you. “Say it.”

No. You don’t ‘want’. He’s wrong. You keep your mouth pressed tight now that the damning noise has fallen out of it; you have managed to not let the tears trembling in your eyes spill forth. Your gaze meets his, defiant and tired and afraid all at once.

“Alright,” he sighs. “If you’re going to carry on being difficult.”

He does it again; his fingers plunging into you, scissoring you apart, rubbing against your folds with a practised agility now that he’s done it for the first time. He has always been a fast learner; always been observant. His thumb is back on your clit with ceaseless assault, and all over again you feel heat begin to build up; tension that crawls into every crevice of your being and worms its way deep inside you despite how badly you don’t want this.

The hand holding your hip loosens somewhat, allowing you to messily thrust your hips into Overhaul’s stimulation. You’re torn; you shouldn’t want to hump against the gloved fingers stimulating you, you should be wriggling and squirming away. But it feels so good; even with the skin-tight covering of rubbery latex, Overhaul’s fingers seem to find every one of your weak points and exploit them.

There it is again, building up on you; a ball of tension in your stomach being gradually wound tighter and tighter, threatening to snap at any moment. Your hips flex against his hand, your fingers clenching and unclenching on the bedsheet--

He denies you the peak of your orgasm for the second time.

And a third.

And a fourth.

“Kai--!” You’re too far gone to even think, after the pleasure has been pulled from you so cruelly, over and over again. The tears spill over your cheeks., rolling down in fat, shaming droplets. Overhaul’s eyes narrow.

“No,” he says, vehement – more emotion in his voice than you’ve heard all day. “You know what to call me.”

You know what he wants you to call him. You know that he wants to leave his old name behind, start again, be someone who can drag the Shie Hassaikai out of the shadows and into light and power once again – and he thinks that the name will help. You gurgle out a sobbing, strangled noise;

“O-Overhaul, please--”

Three fingers are plunged as deep inside of you as they can go, crooked to rub against your sweet spot; as Overhaul murmurs, detached but soft;

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

They thrust into you, his thumb rubbing your clit with firm, certain strokes – and this time, as the orgasm rushes up on you all at once, he doesn’t stop. He fucks you with his fingers through it, his thumb not ceasing the circling. Pleasure washes over you, finally, in great waves and crests. You feel yourself gush on his fingers, soaking him in your wetness (his eyebrows furrow again, at how close your fluid comes to spilling over his bared wrist; but you are too relieved to think about anything other than finally getting what you need).

Your hips flex, gasps falling from your mouth with every thrust of them – and you expect Overhaul to pull his fingers out of you. To stop touching you. Perhaps to strip off his gloves and put on a new pair – you know he always carries spares – and sneer at you as he walks out of the room.

But Overhaul’s fingers do not move from inside of you. The fierce rhythm of his fucking and petting and rubbing does not stop, even as the final aftershocks of your orgasm clench loosely about him and his constant stimulation becomes more of an annoyance than anything else on heated, sensitive skin.

You squirm, trying to push your thighs together to get him to stop touching you – but the hand not fucking you forces your thighs to stay parted with the curl of fingers into supple flesh, leaving you helpless to do anything but let him carry on touching you. Carry on fucking you.

A short, sharp shock of an orgasm rips through you as he swirls his thumb over your clit just so, and you realise that you’re drooling down yourself as well as panting; helpless and sloppy, utterly unable to do anything except lie there and take it until Overhaul decides he’s had enough of touching you.

You come, what? Twice more? Thrice? Until the pulsing of your channel is painful, your skin feeling red raw, your whimpers into the ceiling dry and broken. Only then does he pull his fingers out of you with a lewd pop.

A gush of your fluid that his fingers were stoppering soaks your bedsheets, and you watch, dazed, as Overhaul stands up. He looks down at you for just one moment, that stretches unbearably long in the heat-and-sex soaked atmosphere of the room.

He strips his gloves off of his hands, eyebrows twitching in disgust as he leaves the crumpled latex on your bedside table. He’s sliding on another pair as he speaks;

“Feel better?”

No. No, you don’t. You feel worse. You feel disgusted and violated and aching, your body over-stimulated and exhausted, sweat and drool and bodily fluids clinging to your skin. But if you tell Overhaul that--

“Yes,” you say, voice very soft and small and weak. You cannot see his mouth, but you see the way his eyes flash happily, the overall sensation of him smiling.

Why does Overhaul’s smile make you so scared, when Kai’s smile used to just make you feel warm?

“We’ll need to do it a few more times,” he tells you, as your blood runs to ice in your veins. “Such maladies aren’t cured in a day, after all. But . . .” He turns, rearranging himself carefully, his mask readjusted. You can’t see him as he speaks the next words. “I’d like to try some of the other suggested remedies, too.”

You think of his earlier words.

‘They theorised that the best cure was regular intercourse, male semen, pregnancy and childbirth.’

You’re never going to escape, are you? You’re going to be trapped in this compound until the day you die, and Overhaul is going to think that he’s keeping you safe--

“Take a shower,” he says to you, as he opens the door. It is not a suggestion. “And stop not letting the maids come in here to clean. I’m not having you get sick.”

You think he might be the sick one.

#overhaul x reader #yandere overhaul #overhaul smut #overhaul x you #chisaki kai x reader #bnha smut #bnha x reader #dark content for ts #5555 event fic #not sfw text #writing #afab reader #fem pronouns #misogyny for ts #bnha posting #medical kink for ts #non consent for ts #dub con for ts #non con for ts

677 notes · View notes

dreamrecorder · 3 years

Note

Ok so- idk if you’ve seen demon slayer;; but there’s this episode (it was during the spider fambam arc) aNywaYs- so like. Rui yeets ties* (i guess-) Nezuko like. Up in the air. With his weird spider thread jazz— and like. It’s sHarP weird spider thread jazz— so she’s like. Yknow. Being sliced and diced with string— but it kindaaa reminds me of like. Xiao. And his like.... weird... sad.... uh. Karma. Thing. Like y’know where he’s like hanging from his arms- red stuff. Yeah. So like. Now for the actual request

Xiao’s s/o (female if you don’t mind;;) gets kidnapped by like— the fatui or smth. And they tie her up like Nezuko :D to be like “lol haha Xiao be all like-” and she’s just. Like. Dying. Slowly. Dripping b l o o d and yknow. All the tea. And Xiao comes to rescue her— and he’s like 0-0 “wait...” and he realizes that’s like- exactly what happens to him- and so. He beats the fatui’s butts saves his s/o, anddddd she like.

Idk. This is where I need your angst expertise ❤️ like- she could d i e. In his arms. And poor Xiao would be so scarred omg poor thing- BUT THE ANGST- but at the same time;;;; the f l u f f of him being able to save her just in time and she was like fighting for him the whole time or whatever and ended up needing him to save her anyways- and then Xiao feeding her almond tofu until she gets better ❤️❤️❤️

IM SORRY THAT WAS SO LONG- im probably going crazy from lack of sleep from reading fics for too long sndndnsnsj

But if you do this,,, BLESS YOUR SOUL I HOPE TO EITHER BALL MY EYES OUT OR SQUEAL FROM THE WHOLESOMENESS-

Anyways.... thank you! Have a stellar day~ ✨❤️

The heart yearns and the wind heard

lmao this ask is so adorable i hope you’d enjoy this ksks

anyway, full Angst train up ahead but there are moments of Fluff too. There are mentions of blood and violence if those are not your thing- dont worry guys, this goes with a happy ending cos you and Xiao deserve one~ on a final note- non canon compliant and suuuuuuper long- like- legit this is very long

The Yaksha sighs.

He’s here again. His mind and heart has returned his being into this crimson world his demons have created within him.

He feels it. He feels the corruption binding him tighter again for every death he brings by his tainted hands.

He looks at his bindings. And ever so slowly, the red and black coiling around his person will eventually reach his heart.

One day, he thinks, all this crimson and black in this world will swallow him whole and he will see the light no more.

Xiao sighs again.

This is his karmic debt.

The moment you stepped foot within Wangshu Inn, you knew he was in his prison again. After giving a quick greeting to the inn keeper, you hastily went to Xiao’s room. The closer you got, the heavier the atmosphere became.

You reached his door and knocked softly. As expected, no reply as he continues to struggle to take back his control over himself. Without hesitation, you stepped in. To anyone else, they would have instantly met his spear at their throats, but with you, this doesn’t happen. Instead, you see him crouched on the wooden floor with a hand on his chest. His knuckles were white and his breathing was ragged. His amber eyes- lost. Observing his form, yes… his moments of corruption are becoming progressively worse.

With swift steps of familiarity to this routine, you went to him and grasped his shoulders.

“Xiao, it’s me…” You whispered with clarity. And oh- how your voice brought a wave of comfort to his soul.

“N-name…” His voice cracked, but him calling to you is always a good sign.

You gave him a small smile and proceeded to grasp his hands together with yours. After which, you then leaned your forehead to his to chant your prayers. As your prayers progressed, slowly but surely, the corruption begins to fade along with the black mist that covered him. However, you took note how this ritual took longer than the last.

Once everything is done, Xiao just slumped onto your shoulders, still breathing deeply. “How are you feeling?” It was a useless question you asked every time this happens, but you always, always, have to make sure.

Usually, he would mutter a small ‘fine,’ but now- words seemed to have left his mind and all he could muster was an almost-unnoticeable shrug.

Truth be told- his response disheartened you, but you did not show it. Instead, you opted to simply encase him in your arms and caress his hair. After all, these are just one of the few, rare moments Xiao would leave himself into your care. Xiao is aware, himself, that his state has been becoming worse and worse. And you both know, that a day would come when he would just attack anyone- friend or foe- without a trace of hesitation. So, just this time- he speaks his feelings.

“Name?”

You answered immediately with a questioning hum.

“What would you do… when I finally lose control over myself?”

It was very subtle, but he felt how your hand stopped caressing his hair for a second, then proceeded to the previous task at hand again. In all honestly, you can never find yourself having an answer to that question. “And why would I ever let that happen to you?” You questioned back, fully aware that you were dodging his question.

Silence surrounded the two of you, unsure on what to do with the sudden heavier atmosphere.

Not wanting to face the cruelty of the world yet, Xiao simply buried himself on the crook of your neck even more. And despite the ghostly sensation of his lips on your skin, you could feel him mouth the words ‘I love you.’

“As long as I’m here,” you whispered, “nothing can hurt you.” And that was the most beautiful lie that the Yaksha has heard, but he was willing to believe all the same.

When word about Fatui diplomats starting a bank reached you, there was a nagging feeling in your head that trouble would bring itself present anytime soon. It was like an itch that wouldn’t get away. And the only way to have that itch gone is to scratch it.

“You are absolutely a fool.” Xiao stated darkly with crossed arms, for once disagreeing with the plans of his master.

“We can never know what their intentions are unless we let them start their bank, no?” Zhongli said as he gazed at the marsh spread beneath him.

The Yaksha only scoffed but said no more.

Building up your courage, you deemed it was your turn to voice out your thoughts, “Um… Rex Lapis, I see your point, but wouldn’t it be best to resolve the problem before it persists into something larger? We all know- All of Teyvat knows, that the Fatui are not to be trusted.”

Your archon offered you a kind smile, “I understand your worries, Name. However, as of the moment, they have not presented themselves as such. If they truly are our enemies, then it would be beneficial for us to know their intentions.”

You frowned deeply at his statement. Seeing you do so, somehow, your archon immediately identified your main concern.

“Is this about the Tianquan assigning you to be her representative for the Fatui?”

The moment those words left his mouth, a growl tore from Xiao’s throat, but he held his tongue.

“Did Ganyu tell you?”

The Archon nodded and you sighed.

“I volunteered, actually.”

And at that point, Xiao vanished into thin hair, but you could still his sense his presence around.

“May I know why?” Zhongli questioned gently.

For a moment, you struggled for words. You didn’t know how to describe this ‘itch’ to him. “At first, it was supposed to be Ganyu, since in the Tianquan’s eyes- Ganyu is an adeptus and she does not know that I am, too. Perhaps she didn’t want to put me in harm’s way, a ‘visionless human’ at the side of a harbinger. After some convincing to Ningguang for my volunteering, I spoke to Ganyu next.

“The adepti are divine beings that walk here in Liyue. I had this feeling that putting a divine next to a power-hungry harbinger would become an issue. I told Ganyu that, since I looked ‘harmless’ and ‘ordinary,’ the harbinger’s interest about the divine would never surface.”

A stretch of silence wrapped around them as Zhongli pondered over your words. “Perhaps, are you also planning to dig out the truth of their arrival?”

You nodded, “I knew you would allow them to stay, so I just took it upon myself to unfurl their secrets.”

“Hmmm… I grant you permission on doing this. However, should trouble arise, do not hesitate to tell us.”

The glare pointed at you was strong. Even without him saying a single word, you could hear his phantom voice in your head speak with such coldness, What are you thinking?

You simply gave him a reassuring smile, “I’ll be fine, Xiao. I may be a human in mortal eyes, but please do remember that I am also an adeptus, no matter how weak I am.”

Xiao releases a huff, but still sits by your side at the floor of the balcony, letting the moon kiss his skin. “You’re not weak.” He mumbled as he snaked his hand to yours.

To him, you will never be weak. In fact, you were the strongest being he has ever laid his eyes on. Not physically, no. It was you mental and emotional fortitude. Back during the Archon War, he always admired how you kept your head held up high no matter the suffering you have experienced. No matter how much death surrounded you, you still fought. And that strength made you a survivor. During the war, you never failed to help the wounded. Even when someone dies under your care, you held strong for the departed and for those who are left behind. You were a pillar of hope.

He brings your hand to his lips and kisses every knuckle “… Just be careful. If ever you are in trouble do not-“

“Hesitate to call your name.” You finished, beaming at his words.

As someone who used to be a healer and a doctor, you were quite familiar with several mild skin diseases that mortals can suffer from.

If there is an itch, you do not scratch it- for you will only aggravate the area even more.

Now that you’re working alongside the Fatui as the Tianquan’s representative, the itch you kept feeling was only irritated more. Especially whenever you spoke with the Harbinger who goes by the name Childe. And since your work requires you to cooperate with him, you also don’t miss the chance to discover what he hides, should the opportunity presents itself.

Childe… his azure eyes certainly have their… charm to those unaware. However, you knew better. You know he’s capable of drowning you just by his eyes. While he may be a cheerful man, his eyes lack the lustre of joy. The eyes are the windows of the soul, yes? If so, all you see is an unending ocean that you do not want to swim in. The surface may be calm, but the deep is relentless. However, duty bound you are- deep within the ocean, you shall find the secrets the Fatui hides.

Again, another scratch to the itch, but it only irritates you more.

The news of Rex Lapis’s death became the catalyst of you confronting the Harbinger. From Yujeng Terrace all the way to Northland Bank, you ran (with Ningguang’s permission of course). Before you can even open the door to his office, something caught your eye.

It’s faint, but you’re an adeptus. You sensed elemental traces, just smack bang at the middle of the door. You carefully scrutinized the tracings, and fortunately you knew Snezhnayan script. And what you read only made your heart sink.

It’s ready.

With the adeptal arts, you managed to uncover the origins of these elemental tracings.

Scratch.

Without hesitation, you followed these tracings until it led you into some ruins.

Scratch.

Following the tracings further, you find yourself in a dimly lit room. Wary, you summoned your weapon imbued with your element.

Scratch.

Searching the room, you came across several antique boxes. You opened them.

Scratch.

What you saw were familiar. Too familiar. Dimming the room more with your element, you find more Sigils of Permission hanging on the walls and on the ceilings. The energy within them were faint, but with enough numbers, it’s enough to kill a-

“Well, well well, I thought you’d be there mourning for your Archon. But here you are, snooping around someone else’s research material.”

The sound of his voice made you sharply turn your head to him, your stance now more offensive. “What are you planning?” You bit coldly.

The Harbinger hummed a small tune, “Nothing much… But! If you’re really curious, I guess I could tell you.” He hummed some more but you knew he’s not finished. Once he finished his tune, he grinned to you menacingly and the depths in his eyes became even deeper and darker, “After all, I won’t let you leave this place with you knowing my secret~”

There was this one time, Xiao struggled against himself so much, he scratched himself red so that he could anchor himself back to the real world. You remembered how much you cried as he slept in your arms. You never wanted to see him do that again. Seeing him hurt himself also hurt you, too. It was like a stab in the heart, then a twist, and twist some more. A slap in the reality that you might lose him one day.

As he slept, you solemnly observed the wounds he sustained himself to. They were angry red, just like blood.

Now, you, yourself scratched that itch in your head too much into a wound for blood to seep through. You scratched too much and now you have to bleed from it.

You were slipping in and out of consciousness. Sleep was tempting you more and more but you know you have to wake up. You were aware that this is going on for days.

Everything hurts. You remembered how his blades, imbued with the Sigils, weakened you thoroughly. Every slash he brought to your body just drained the energy away from you. But still you had to do something.

He wanted an adeptus- he wanted an adeptus in order for the Sigils to grow stronger both in number and in power.

Now here you are, bound by chains and suspended at the middle of this empty room. These chains were adorned by talismans that drained away your energy. You were bleeding from your wounds of your previous battle.

Drip. Drip. Drip goes the blood and pools on the ground underneath you. The ground, you barely noticed, was lined by Liyuean script which enacts the ritual of the Sigils draining your divine power from your blood.

To the eyes of a sadist- you were a picture perfect in a canvas. A dark room lined by the damned Sigils, glowing an eerie gold. Then there's you with your bloodied clothes and chains. The red pool underneath was casting a red glow on your way, giving you a red shade to your pale skin.

Everything hurts-

And everything was driving you mad.

You can also feel the Overlord of the Vortex feed from your energy through the Sigils. You sensed his lust for power and revenge. You felt his anger and the corruption within him. You felt his hatred and his want to bring death. For days that felt like years, you’ve been battling against that very same god in your head. This battle was not something you shall not lose to and failure is not an option. If you fail here, then Liyue will fall.

This god- he was driving you mad slowly.

If ever you are in trouble, do not hesitate to call my-

You shut the thought from your head. You are not going to call him. You will not speak of him. You will not think of him. You will not call him. Not to this place where his corruption will grow. No. You Will Not Call Him.

If it means that me not calling you will keep you safe from the corrupted remnant of a god- so be it.

Please

However, no matter how much you denied yourself to call his name, no matter how much your heart yearns to be with him- the wind does not ignore the pained sob that left your lips.

Ever since the news of Rex Lapis's death and the visit of the Traveler with a Sigil in his hand- the corruption within him just bloomed into something feral.

The Sigil- there was something wrong about it but Xiao doesn't know what is it that is wrong. Then there's you- where are you? Surely with the news of their Archon's death- it would send you to bring forth a meeting for the adepti to talk this over. But now- for days- you remain not by his side.

With you missing- the demons inside him are slowly taking control over him, taking advantage of his vulnerability for you. For each passing day, it was slow torture for him- The worry bubbling in him was consuming him. He glared at the Sigil between his fingers and not failing to notice how his dark aura covers him once more.

“Traveler,” Xiao called sharply, “What is it you intend to do next?”

To any mere mortal, the look his eyes held were enough to strike fear, but the Traveler stealed themselves- meeting the adeptus’s gaze with an equally serious calm. “I have my suspicions on a certain harbinger and I-”

“Where?” The Yaksha growled.

“In the Golden House.”

Without a word nor warning, Xiao placed a hand on the Traveler’s shoulder and teleported them to the place where the Exuvia is hidden.

To the Traveler, everything happened so quickly as one event led to another. One moment, they were standing among unconscious bodies of the Millelith then the next thing they knew a corrupted and demonic gust of wind flew them away to the side. Regaining back their vision, they could see Alatus’s spear now at Tartaglia’s barrier made of Sigils.

Alatus narrowed his eyes at the floating talismans and began to calculate the flow of this incoming battle with precision and accuracy despite his losing control over himself.

It was a tense minute of sizing each other up, but eventually, Tartaglia has broken the silence with his annoying innocent voice.

“Who would have thought that I’d have the honor of fighting another adeptus of Liyue?”

The question immediately fed the corruption within him, the dark aura exploding at it. He knew that he should not believe in the Harbinger’s words so easily, but the glint in the latter’s eyes held truth. You could be out there, hurting, scared, alone. You could be out there, bleeding out. You could be out there dyi-

His aura exploded once more at the thoughts spreading in his being. With a burst of unspeakable power, Alatus lifted his weapon and pierced the barrier once more, this time breaking it without failure. At the threat, Tartaglia backed away as he donned his mask.

In a similar fashion, Alatus, too donned his mask. “I will ask you once,” the Conqueror of Demons spoke with a deathly calm, “Where is she?”

He should have killed him then and there. But the call of the Overlord of the Vortex must not be ignored as it threatens Liyue.

In the small opportunity of escape, Childe took it. But he was weak and injured as Alatus swiftly threw his spear to block his way and teleported right in front of him. In a show of power, the Conqueror of Demons lifted the mortal by the neck.

“I will ask you again, where is she?”

In fear, Childe told him everything and at his every word, Xiao listened carefully- never speaking once. But the anger within his heart, it boils- it rages. His amber eyes bored into Childe’s soul- thinking what he should do to this mortal. Oh how killing him would be so nice. However, when the Yaksha’s gaze landed on the regal form of the Exuvia, he merely threw the mortal in its way.

“Killing you would have been easier. However, the crimes you have presented against Liyue are not mine for me to judge.

I leave the Harbinger to you... Rex Lapis.”

Once out of the Golden House, the Overlord roared once more, shaking the lands of the nation. However, along with it, he heard the faintest of voices. I’m so sorry... I couldn’t hold him back anymore.

Only then did the demons in his heart freely took control of him. Just like the stories of old, where the Yaksha walks, death follows. But they were no stories. In his way towards the ruins where you were held captive, every step he took brought carnage and even more death and blood to taint his hands. No Fatui will leave this place alive. The very being of destruction ended many lives. Each death, the demons were growing stronger.

All he wanted now was to kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill killkillkill killkill kill killkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkill

Then seeing you suspended in the ceiling and bound by chains. Blood was painted on your lifeless skin. Wounds were littered and bruises were blooming on your form. But most of all, your eyes. What were once full of life and hope- now empty and blank. His demons quieted down.

Broken. You were like a broken porcelain doll.

“N-name...” His voice cracked, not believing it all.

With haste, he quickly broke your binds and caught you in his arms. he was fast to check for your pulse and your breathing. And thank the Archons, you were breathing but barely. You were now walking the line between life and death. With all his might yet a gentle caress, he hugged you for dear life. “Name... It’s me...”

But still, your eyes still held no recognition and it shattered his heart to pieces. With further inspection, he sensed the presence within you. A corruption. A certain evil.

“Name, stay with me please,” Xiao begged with desperation as he fought back tears. “It’s me who supposed to be the corrupted one between us, not you... I’m not allowing you to leave me, you hear me-”

With a ritual of the adeptal arts, he started purging and purifying the evil left by the god who fed from you. He is not letting you stay alone in your prison, not for a second longer.

Xiao prays and he never prayed before. Even to his master. But just this once, He prays with desperation. You are the light in his darkness. You are the moon in his night.

The ritual was a delicate process. For every word he spoke, he was rewarded by your screams of pain and the writhing of your fragile body. He wanted to stop, but he can’t. He had to physically restrain you from trying to escape from his embrace and from hurting yourself. And for every cry you released, Xiao merely shuts his eyes clos just for him not to see your pained eyes. Every now and then, Xiao speaks gentle apologies and words of encouragement for you. You were coming back. But still, the evil persists.

You writhed and scratched against him, until you were creating more wounds for blood to seep through. When it came to a point, you began pleading and begging for him to stop, that was when Xiao had shed a tear. So he continues the ritual, his prayers, and his apologies. They were arriving to a point where the ritual is reaching its conclusion but your screams only grew louder.

Please, just a little more...

Please, just stop...

Please...

The corruption disintegrated away from you in a forceful release of dark energy. He was breathing deeply, attempting to calm his loud heart. When he placed his gaze on you, you were breathing rapidly and your eyes were searching blindly and your hands were desperately holding onto him.

“X-Xiao...” You whispered, “Where am I? Where are you?”

With a sigh of relief, the Yaksha hugged you again closer and his forehead to yours, fearing you would go away again. The action made you lift your hands to his face, still searching blindly.

“I’m here, Name... I’m here.” At his voice, the dam in your eyes broke as you cried silently. Xiao was not adept in emotions, but for you, he will face them gladly. He lets you cry as he gives you soft whispers of assurance, safety, love, and promises. However, you were not crying because of what had happened to you. You were crying for him. After experiencing such corruption-

You sobbed some more- you were this close to him losing you and you could not bring yourself to imagine if your roles were reversed.

“P-please,” you said with a broken voice, “please don’t go to the place where I can’t follow...’

The words, at first puzzled him, but after a few moments, he realized and once more it broke his heart. Bringing you closer, Xiao let loose the tears he was holding back. With a gentleness unexpected of the Conqueror, he simply littered your face with kisses. “I promise if only you would do the same.”

With your smile that he loved dearly for so long you too spoke your promise, “I do.” They were simply two words, but the comfort they bring into the Yaksha’s heart was in volumes.

After that, you shared a few tender moments in each other’s arms. Simply relishing the feeling of their familiar warmth. A little later, Xiao spoke, “Would you like to eat some Almond Tofu once we get home?”

The question made you giggle at his innocence, so you agreed. Despite you needing physical medical attention. But Almond Tofu with him? Yes, you two definitely need some emotional healing.

A/N: fINALLY dONE lmao this was supposed to be short but angst really makes me want to write longer everytime haha~ anyway this request really made me ponder bout genshin stuff with all the corruption this and corruption that but then a question popped up like-

how did childe replicate the sigil of permission? since sigils are imbued with divine energy, i just thought how did this guy accumulate so much sigils to the point of freeing Osial- a god!!! soooo i just played with the idea for a bit then figured out maybe these pieces of paper get the divine energy from a divine source right? and the adepti are divine beings of liyue and another thing- you guys might have noticed the change of names in some scenes- i dont know but i think somehow different names represents different side of a person like- we have childe the cheerful harbinger then tartaglia the power hungry harbinger- there’s Alatus who’s calculating and cold, there’s the Conqueror of Demons who’s ruthless and unforgiving, then Xiao who is calm and humane- lastlyyyyy i might post this in ao3 ksks

#genshin impact #genshin imagines #genshin scenarios #xiao #genshin xiao #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #xiao genshin #xiao x reader #xiao imagines #zhongli #childe #ganyu #ningguang

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littlemisslipbalm · 3 years

Text

“your turn”

Harry Styles was a romantic. He hated weddings. Rori Williams was practical. She hated weddings, too. How could she deny a man who had just drunkenly confessed his love for her at a wedding? Even if it was completely and totally untrue.

A story of two semi-strangers to lovers with weddings, drunken confessions, and girls with two names.

gif has nothing to do with it but he looks fancy and i like it :) tpwk

Hi! this is for @meetmeinfleetwood to lovers fic challenge! and it’s a little cruel of me to post it today after those wedding pics came out but i have been working on this for awhile and tomorrow’s the deadline so if it’s too soon im sorry and if its just what you need enjoy! I used prompts 12 and 15! It’s my first ofc story which is a little strange for me but i wanted to use a name for this, but besides her hair and eye color and a name she’s pretty generic,,, idk thank you all for always reading and all of that. lmk what you think and reblogs are always really appreciated

Word Count: 9.3k | Warnings: drinking, swearing, implied? smut (couldn’t bring my heart to write any my apologies), harry being a silly drunk, mentions of being afraid of someone taking advantage of someone under the influence but ofc no! actual any misconduct -- a SITCH wedding!!! so cute ::))

Harry Styles was a romantic.

He loved love songs that professed their undying love for their significant other. He loved romance movies, rom coms especially, because they were happy and in love and he got to cry and laugh all in one. He loved writing his own songs about love and he loved spreading the idea of loving and treating others with kindness. He loved first dates and the relationships that sometimes sprouted out of them. He loved reading books about love and how to make it last. He loved poetry that waxed eloquent about love. He loved love.

He hated weddings.

Well, he hadn’t always hated weddings. In the beginning, they were like every other aspect of love, he loved them. But slowly, as he kept receiving announcements of engagement and wedding invitations and he kept not sending out letters of his own, his aversion grew.

Sure, he still loved going. He still wept for the happy couples when they committed themselves to each other. He still clapped profusely and danced to the dj or live band. He still tried to enjoy it. But with weddings he had a nagging sense in the back of his head reminding him that he still hadn’t found it yet. Each of his relationships had fallen short in some way as to not lead him to this destination. So when he sat at his assigned table at these various gatherings, he held a bit of apprehension, a bit of envy, about everything going on. He knew that his smiles were all a little forced and his laugh not quite genuine. His thoughts always managed to be controlled by his green-eyed monster that he always attempted to keep locked away. But at weddings, especially when the alcohol started flowing, he had a harder time controlling it.

Seeing all his friends getting together, getting married, and having children wore on him. Wore him thin more than he ever let on to anyone but his therapist. And his therapist couldn’t seem to give him a better answer than to be patient and not give up hope.

By 2021, Harry had decided that maybe he was just meant to be alone. Love was something he could admire, but it wasn’t meant for him. He could chase it, but it would never let him have it. He was unlucky in love and by Sarah and Mitch’s wedding in the Spring, he had come to terms with it.

He had even been optimistic for it, being Mitch’s Best Man and all had gotten his hopelessly romantic heart all aflutter. He was introduced to Sarah’s Maid of Honor, Renee Williams and she had been lovely. She was 31, a little older than Harry - but age wasn’t something that deterred him, and she had worked with Sarah in Los Angeles before Harry recruited Sarah for the band. They were best of friends and Sarah had known for a long time that Renee would be her Maid of Honor.

When Harry met Renee, he was sure that she was meant to be his person. She was beautiful and hilarious, her beauty mark at the side of her lip was so utterly unique he called her a “right Marilyn”. She insisted she was not a Marilyn Monroe type at all and had laughed. Harry had charmed her with his expert flirting and claimed that just because she was a brunette didn’t mean she was a Marilyn. She had smiled and bantered through the rehearsal dinner with him at her side. He was entranced, it had to be Renee, he had been so sure of it.

When Renee had walked down the aisle just before Sarah, Harry had been sure of it. When Renee had smiled at Harry as Mitch slipped on Sarah’s wedding band, Harry had been sure of it. When he had hooked his arm around hers as they walked down the aisle and into a foyer, Harry had been sure of it. When she laughed at his jokes while they waited for their wedding party photos to be taken, Harry had been sure of it.

When Renee walked up to Harry at the reception with another man wrapped around her, Harry wasn’t so sure of it anymore.

“Harry, I’d like you to meet my boyfriend, Corey,” Renee smiles giddily between the two men.

Harry’s eyes widen slightly at the word ‘boyfriend’ and he swallows harshly before blinking and putting on a sweet smile. He thrusts his right hand out for Corey to shake.

“Hullo, mate,” Harry says happily.

Corey greets Harry, extending his hand to meet Harry’s with a warm smile and a “how are you”. Harry laughs boisterously and takes a sip of his champagne flute. They shake hands with a firm up and down motion.

“Planning on getting really drunk,” Harry says in response to Corey’s question. “Have a great night, you two,” he finishes and stalks off for a refill.

Renee watches him go with a little bit of a confused look on her face. She sees him tilt his head back and finish his drink before turning to face her boyfriend and peck his cheek. She mumbles to him, “He’s a really nice guy, wouldn’t stop chatting my ear off the past few days. All these people must make him antsy.”

He nods back to her, “They must.”

Harry sidles up to the open bar, discarding his empty flute and exchanging it for a much stronger drink.

“Tequila. Neat...Please.” He sighs and runs a hand through his curls that are slowly becoming less and less coiffed. His fingers slide to the collar of his shirt and tug, attempting to loosen it a little.

“Rough night already?” Someone asks from beside him.

His face turns to them and sees a smiling brunette. Her eyes are big, larger than most eyes he’s come across. They’re brown with tinges of gold and green, likely making them hazel by her standard since most people prefer saying hazel eyes to brown. Her smile is bright and clean and if Harry hadn’t already heard her speak he would assume she was American from that smile. It was perfect, too perfect - the teeth both straight and blindingly white.

He raises his eyebrows at her and thinks about his response. His tongue darts out to wet his lips, leaving them parted, but he remains silent when the bartender hands him his tequila. Harry wraps a specifically less ringed hand tonight, he had forgone his ‘H’ and ‘S’ rings as well as the rest of them actually on his left hand. His right hand still had two: the large flashing lavender gemstone encrusted in a gold casing from Stevie Nicks on his middle finger and then a clean gold signet ring with little crosses on the sides on the adjacent ring finger. Every other finger was noticeably empty. So when he picks up the glass there is no familiar clink which draws the attention of himself.

The woman doesn’t pay any attention to his hand, she’s still waiting for him to respond to her question, as well as waiting for her other drink to be made. She was taking advantage of the two drink system and getting two for herself right now, so she didn’t have to come back until much later.

“You have no idea,” is how Harry decides to respond and then turns to leave. He forgets about the woman and sits at his assigned table for his entire drink, talking casually with the people who come to speak with him.

When he's finished, he goes back to the bar to order a second tequila. He thinks about the girl who had stared at him with her big brown eyes. How she had seen him and thought to ask how his night was when it seemed to be going to shit. And how he had blown her off with barely a glance. God, he could be such a prick. After he receives his drink, he forgets yet again and continues to drown his sorrows in the golden liquid that helps him numb the pain that he had once again missed out on his fairytale love story.

The girl Harry had run into sat in the corner of the ballroom for the majority of the night. She settled on just having that first round of drinks for herself and one glass of obligatory champagne during the toasts. Other than that, she had promised herself she wouldn’t get drunk and go off with a random stranger. This was not a wedding for that. This wedding couldn’t be for that. She just needed to keep her head low and try to have a semi-pleasant time.

When she was nursing her champagne through the toasts, the man at the bar caught her eye again. She knew who he was. He was the Best Man after all. Sarah talked about him a lot, even Renee after the past few days, but seeing him at the bar had been the first time she’d ever seen him up that close. It was strange, he was so human. So tangible in that moment. His shoulders shook with each breath he took. His fingers tapped as they waited for his drink. His green eyes blinked and darted around as he took in his surroundings and even looked at her. He simply was and it had startled her to see him in a slightly bewildered state at the bar, but again, she wasn’t one to judge.

Get through the wedding. Try to have a semi-pleasant time.

It was time for the Best Man’s speech. Renee had just given the Maid of Honor’s and now Harry was up. He stood up and wavered a little as he tried to stand up straight. The neat tequila likely makes his stance a little harder to maintain. Mitch looks up at Harry at his side and smiles fondly.

Harry raises one hand in an awkward wave while the other is planted firmly on the table.

“Hullo,” he starts, “I’m Harry and I’m the Best Man, but I’m sure you knew that already.”

The entire group of guests laugh wholeheartedly, taken by the talented young man.

“To start,” he stutters, his words slurring slightly from the alcohol he’s had, and his smile slithers into a smirk. “Let’s hear it for the bride and groom, the lovely Sarah and Mitch Jones!”

Queue the laughter again. Harry laughs too when Mitch slaps his arm playfully, he turns to look at him with a mock ‘what did I do wrong’ expression.

“I had a speech written out, took a week to write, made it nice and poetic for these two lovebirds, but it seems I’ve misplaced it,” he pats at his pockets and sighs before rubbing his forefinger at his bottom lip. “I hate weddings.”

Everyone laughs again, thinking he’s joking. Harry grimaces but it passes as a smile even though she can tell it doesn’t meet his eyes.

He rambles on for a few minutes about love and commitment, how this is just the beginning for Sarah and Mitch and everyone laughs at the appropriate times and just when he’s wrapping up, successfully stumbling through his messy mind, everyone begins to clap.

“To the happy couple…” queue applause, but she sees him say something else, it’s drowned out by the crowd cheering and clinking glasses again.

He sits back down, downing his champagne glass that’s been refilled twice already during the speeches. Mitch leans over and whispers something in Harry’s ear as he twists a hand through his hair. Harry shifts away from Mitch and gives him a look, telling Mitch that he’s fine.

The party goes on, a few more speeches, a few more glasses of champagne for Harry, a few more sighs from the girl in the back of the room.

She watches the first dance of Mitch and Sarah but once that part is over she slinks off. She’s got half a drink left and all she wants is to be alone. Tired of the party, tired of the people, tired of having to try to have a good time. The Rowland-Jones Party had rented the entire place out, so she wanders out of the main room and down a hallway until the music is a faint buzz in her ear. The air grows colder as the amount of people dwindles from over a hundred to one.

There’s a door to her right that has an intricate golden handle that she pulls down on. It opens quietly onto a similar ballroom that is slightly smaller than the one the party was going on in. It’s quiet and spacious, her steps echo as she enters on heeled feet. The clicking of her satin stilettos resonate against the linoleum. She walks to the center of the room and turns around herself, lifting her head to the light in the room. An ornate chandelier is still above her, it’s the same gold as the handle that let her in. Her eyes travel to the walls that contain swirls of gold as well, everything was encrusted in gold and splotchy vintage mirrors. It was beautiful and she saw herself in the reflection of one of those splotchy vintage mirrors and actually felt beautiful in that moment.

No one else saw her but herself and she thought she was beautiful, a fleeting thought as she watched her body move. No one to watch as her reflection swayed with her. Her lavender dress swished back and forth, the end of it brushing around her ankles. The tulle fabric climbed her torso, cinching at her waist and draping over her breasts. The sleeves fluttered over her shoulders and ended midway down her upper arm. The somewhat sheer material made her tan skin look all the more carmely in the golden light of the chandelier. Her pendant necklace was silver and glinted in the light as it sat evenly over her exposed clavicle and decolletage.

In the corner opposite of the door there was a single table with three chairs. It seemed whoever was meant to put things away had grown tired and left these out. She wasn’t complaining as she crossed the floor to take a seat. It was the perfect escape. It was quiet and not too cold in the room, which was especially nice since she had left her jacket in the coat room. What wasn’t so nice is that her phone had died and she had nothing to do in the room. It wasn’t horrible though, she had wanted to be alone with her thoughts. She just feared what would happen if she sat alone too long with no escape of the internet to drown those thoughts.

That contemplation was squashed with an unwitting solution not ten minutes later. She had been sitting at the table, sipping her drink occasionally and staring at the chandelier. Sighing with content that it was finally silent beside the clink of her melting ice cubes. The house mixed drink was strong, but with each passing second it grew more and more diluted. She considered herself completely sober.

She only questioned that when she noticed a second person in the room. She hadn’t heard them open the door, but she heard their loud footsteps shortly after.

He all but stumbled in and was entranced by the chandelier like she had been. He walks to the center in a similar fashion and twists around, only this time his balance isn’t as good as hers. He ends up on his ass, legs splayed in front of him and hands behind him only cushioning his fall a little. He lets out a huff, “Fuck.” He runs a hand over his face before bringing it down to look around the room again. His eyes are foggy with alcohol, everything hazy and slightly blurry. It feels like he’s moving with superspeed but as she watches him with a tilted head she wonders why he’s moving so slowly.

He squints while looking around after a moment, running a hand through his thoroughly tousled hair. His tongue comes to wet his lips, but this time it's for a touch too long like he’s genuinely tasting the liquor on them. She raises her brows, observing him, her presence seemingly unknown.

“Oi, you!” He slurs the words and points lazily at her reclined in her chair. “Are you real?”

She half smiles and replies with a simple ‘yes’.

“I like your dress,” he says merely like he was stating a fact rather than giving a compliment. His hair falling into his eyes again despite him just pushing it back.

“Thanks.”

He makes his way to standing, his process rather ungraceful. He twists onto his hands and knees and begins to push himself up. He slips once before making it to full standing, he sways slightly and looks around again like he’s forgotten why he stood up. His eyes land on her again and he decides to make his way over to the table.

“You should probably sit,” she says, watching him splay his arms around him to keep his balance. She had seen him an hour and a half ago and he seemed fine, but now he seemed absolutely and utterly pissed.

“Thanks, mum,” he says as he thunks into the seat beside her, his hand waving off her suggestion.

Her brows raise at the slightly rude comment, but she leans back in her seat still observing him.

“Why do you hate weddings?” She asks once he’s settled and has his head propped up with one of his hands. She takes a sip of her drink as she watches him scan her face again, trying to see if he recognizes her.

His mind must come up empty, a vague memory of the bar slipping away without a second thought.

“It was a joke,” he shrugs.

“No it wasn’t,” she replies easily.

His eyes narrow and he leans forward a little shakily, “Who are you?”

“Aurora.” She licks at her own lips, a stray bit of liquid lingering on her lips.

“That’s a Disney princess name,” he says, unconvinced, how most drunk people were when you told them the truth.

“And my great-grandmother’s and mine,” she responds, a grin playing on her lips as she watches him think it over. “It’s wild how multiple people can have the same name. Did you know people can share a last name as well?”

He leans back in his chair now, unhappy with her snarky response.

“Isn’t that why we’re here, two people joining together and sharing the same last name now?” He threads his fingers as he speaks, mimicking something coming together.

“Yep,” She perks at the question he poses. “You still didn’t answer my question.” Her brows raise once playfully.

“What?” Harry seemed to have lost the plot, his fuzzy drunken brain choosing to forget the first thing she asked him while in this private ballroom of theirs.

“Why do you hate weddings?” She repeats, louder and with emphasis, the words echoing this time.

“Oh,” he looks up to the ceiling and blows air past his lips harshly, “S’ a long story.”

“We got all night,” she offers, and raises her glass to her lips once again.

“A night wouldn’t even cover half of it,” he ponders seriously, his mind reeling. “I’d rather talk about you.”

“Why me?” She laughs like she’s just received the most delightful surprise.

“Because,” He starts and then sits quiet for a moment before leaning forward, elbows on the table as he peers at her, “I think I’m in love with you.”

“You only just met me,” she responds. “Not to mention, you’re drunk as fuck, Best Man. Just minutes ago I watched you stumble in here and truly fall on your ass.”

“Then tell me about yourself and I’ll explain my hatred for weddings.”

“You’re awfully good at bargaining for being this inebriated.”

“I never lose my charm, no matter how pissed I may be,” he smirks and gives a sloppy wink, hair falling in his face yet again.

She scoffs, but she is rather amused and intrigued by the man beside her. His tie now completely loosened, hair falling every which way, and his green eyes set on her. The shiny shoes he wore slipped around on the ground as he shuffled his feet below him like a child wanting to go play. She figured it was just his drunk brain trying to amuse himself or something. How could she deny a man who had just drunkenly confessed his love for her at a wedding? Even if it was completely and totally untrue. She at least had to entertain the foolish notion that maybe he actually was interested in getting to know her. If anything, it would help pass the time until she could go home.

“I’ll bite,” she relents.

The smirk doesn’t leave his face, it only widens, “Only if I can, too.”

“I wasn’t saying-”

“Shush, sh-sh-shush. I know that,” he holds a hand up at her, trying to get her to be quiet. He sways again, even in his seat he looks as if he could fall over at any moment. She wondered if he might not remember this tomorrow. “I was bein’...” he licks his lips in a pause, “suggestive.”

She laughs again, knowing his sober brain probably would have chosen a more articulate and suave word since ‘suggestive’ was rather tactless and more straight to the point. If she learned anything from all the conversations she overhead about him, Harry was definitely one for tact.

“You were something, that’s for sure,” she wraps a hand around Harry’s wrist, she draws the hand down from its hovering state and lays it against the table again. She withdraws her own hand back to her glass, her drink almost completely gone now.

He smiles, pleased with himself, but unaware that his charms had worn off with his exorbitant amount of alcohol consumed. At least on this girl they weren’t working. She had never been attracted to people who were too drunk to help themselves and she always hoped that’s how others felt too. She was thankful he had stumbled in on her rather than someone who didn’t feel the same way. It made her sick to think of what someone with evil intentions might do if they came across a babbling drunken version of Harry. Pushing those thoughts away since that wasn’t the case, she decided to pat his hand once just in reassurance to herself and him that this was really happening.

“I’m twenty-five.” She states.

Harry nods, a small smile on his lips now rather than a smirk as he watches her again. He liked how smoothly she moved rather than the rest of the world in his drunken eyes, everything else was choppy and fast. She was elegant and fluid, calming even.

“I love love,” Harry says, eyes remaining on hers, no trace of a joke in his tone, “And it hates me.”

“That can’t be true,” she squints at him, a frown gracing her face for a moment at the sadness she sees in his watery eyes. Not crying watery, just watery from his drunken state.

He says nothing, waiting for her to offer more information about herself before he says anything else. This was the deal after all. She quickly realizes why he isn’t responding and sighs, conversation with drunks was tedious already, but Harry seemed determined to make it even harder.

“I’m from California.”

“They always are,” Harry mutters to himself. He ignores her hum of a question, asking what he just said with a simple sound. “All my friends, they’re either getting married or they’re already married and got kids on the way or whatever. They all found love and I’m just here with fuck all.”

She sincerely doubts what the drunken man is telling her right now, but she knows how to play the game now to get more information. “I hate my job,” she states.

“Sometimes I feel like I'm cursed, like I fucked up one too many times and now I’m doomed to never find love.”

Her eyes widen at this, he sounds so damn sad and she wishes she could take his pain away. She knew what a good guy and she couldn’t imagine why he would deserve to feel this way. No one deserved to feel like they weren’t worthy of love. His sad state truly almost brought her to tears. She’s there in a stunned silence and Harry is confused why she hasn’t said anything more about herself. It was her turn.

“What’s something else about you?” He asks, his hand fiddling with itself on the table. She notices once again that there aren’t as many rings on his fingers as what she thought was usual.

She licks her lips and reaches her hand forward. She grasps Harry’s fiddling hand and stops his movement. “I feel sorry that you feel this way, no one deserves the kind of pain you’re inflicting on yourself. I’m very very sorry for you, Harry.”

“That’s not really…” He trails off, losing his focus on her face and instead looking at their hands touching. The feeling is so intense in his buzzing body. Her touch was so calming compared to the electric feeling in his body. It felt nice.

“Can I ask you a different question and then I’ll tell you something no one knows about me?”

He nods eagerly.

“And you can’t dodge the question, you really have to answer it, okay?”

“Okay.”

“What did you say at the end of your speech? It got drowned out by applause, but I saw you say something.”

“You noticed?” He asks kind of surprised, then scratches at his eyebrow. He sees her slight glare and knows to get to his answer. “Asked when it’d be my turn…like to fall in love, y’know.”

She sighs, saddened yet again by his words. “Okay, well, here’s my secret... I hate weddings, too.”

Harry’s eyes light up, maybe he really was in love. She purses her lips and pulls back from him.

“I think you’re my soulmate,” he breathes out, again making a false confession. His drunken brain wants it to be true. He’s desperate for his search to be over, for her to be his person.

She smiles that same sad smile that she keeps getting when he says these sad things to her.

“I assure you, I am not, Best Man.”

He looks at her confusedly. She was beautiful, she was clarity to him. Her brown hair was straight with a little wave in it, like it was straightened for the occasion but never truly that way otherwise. It flowed around her head and shoulders, but she had it tucked behind both ears. She wasn’t trying to impress anyone, she just simply was beautiful. Her sun tanned skin looked soft under the golden glow and Harry was sure she was an angel or something.

“Why not?” He insists, leaning forward.

She stands up from her seat. He follows clumsily behind her, standing as well. He was still taller than her even in her high heels. He smiled like a lovesick child down at her, his eyes as big as the moon. She bites at her lip as she sees him look at her so lovingly, so misguidedly. Then she leans up towards his face, up on her tiptoes and past his lips. Her hands hold him straight with them curled in his suit’s lapels. She presses a sweet and gentle kiss to his cheek, closer to his jaw than anything.

“Good night, Harry,” she whispers against his skin before pulling away.

His eyes flutter open, his looks at her confusedly, slightly unaware that he had closed his eyes at all.

“Good night…” He had already forgotten her name, something with an A...or was it an O? He’d have to ask Sarah and Mitch about the girl who had talked to him in the empty golden ballroom, the girl he had fallen in love with. He was certain. She was the one - if only he could find out her name. If he remembered this at all or if he just thought it was a dream.

She leaves the room before him and as she leaves she wonders if she maybe should have made sure he was alright, but she figured their talk was sobering enough. The night was ending and she had a sneaking suspicion that there were plenty of people here tonight looking out for him.

Harry forgot about the girl in the ballroom. Or at least he wasn’t sure if it was a dream or reality. He had woken up at Tom’s place where he had said he would stay after the wedding reception so he hadn’t gone home with a girl. He couldn’t remember her name so he couldn’t really ask anyone about her and he didn’t exactly have a lot of people he could ask. He wanted to ask Sarah and Mitch, but they were already off on their honeymoon and he was one of those people who would never bother a couple on their honeymoon. He was too embarrassed to ask Renee and anyone else for that matter.

So, instead, he forgot. Harry forgot about her for three weeks until Sarah and Mitch returned. He had called them for a hike and lunch the moment their plane had landed. He had missed some of his best friends. It was a lull in the year, where he wasn’t touring or in the studio, just living and writing when he felt like it. So maybe he was in need of some inspiration.

“Ah! The Jones’!” He exclaims as he walks up to their parked car at the head of the trail.

Sarah laughs and Mitch rolls his eyes, half-heartedly since he’s just as happy to see Harry as Harry is to see him.

“I missed you,” Mitch says as he brings Harry in for a hug.

“Don’t let the missus hear that,” Harry tuts while he sends a wink over Mitch’s shoulder to Sarah.

“It’s all he could talk about for the past few weeks,” Sarah jokes as she goes in for a hug with Harry. “How do you think Harry is? Hope he’s eating? I miss Harry.” She mimics Mitch’s voice.

Mitch shakes his head shyly, a smile spreading on his face after a moment. “That. Is not true at all,” he assures Harry, “But you do look a little thinner. What have you been eating?”

Harry elbows him with a grin, “I’m fine. Been bored so I’ve just been filling the time with working out.”

They start their ascent up the hill and into the canyon. Mitch nods, his worry for his friend subsiding momentarily before he says something strange.

“I’ve been wanting to ask, but you’ve been gone, about a girl at the wedding.”

“Oh?” Sarah gives Mitch a knowing look.

“Yeah, well the thing is, I’m not sure if she was real or not. I think she was real, but I was so drunk, there’s so many bits missing in my memory.”

Sarah and Mitch both laugh. “You were very drunk, H,” Mitch confirms.

Harry ignores him, “I even asked her if she was real and she said yes, but y’know people can lie in dreams. All I remember is she was amazing and she had a princess name, I think.”

Sarah thinks about the guest list. “No princess names that I can think of. What did she look like?”

Harry squints ahead of them, his sunglasses pushing his curls back on the top of his head. “She had straight brown hair, not long or short. She said she was, uh, twenty-five. She was in lavender, I think.”

“You think a lot,” Mitch interjects which earns him a glare from Harry.

Harry thinks about this part that he remembered vividly, how she had been so confident that he wasn’t. He adds, “...And I told her I was in love with her.”

“Oh god, Harry,” Sarah sighs.

Mitch gives Harry an apologetic smile.

“She didn’t buy it, but she didn’t run off either. We talked for awhile.”

“Maybe it was a dream,” Sarah says.

“Okay, let’s see,” Mitch grows to be the leader of the investigation, wanting everything for his best friend to find the love he knew he deserved. “Twenty-five year old brunettes at our wedding who are single. C’mon there weren't that many people there.”

Sarah thinks about it again. “Renee’s sister is twenty-five. I don’t remember what she was wearing, I hardly saw her all night,” she pauses, “Which is strange since she wasn’t on the job for once.”

“What do you mean ‘on the job’?” Harry asks curiously, remembering his girl saying she hated her job.”

“She’s a wedding planner,” Sarah says, glancing at him because she was almost sure that Renee’s sister was not who Harry was talking about. “But she had referred me to someone else for the wedding, she consulted sometimes and got us a discount, but said she didn’t like working with people she knew personally.”

Harry nodded, how could Renee’s sister be his girl? How could a wedding planner hate weddings? And wouldn’t it be all the more awkward if the girl was Renee’s sister? Renee’s little sister, could it be? He had no clue.

“I don’t think it’s her, though,” Sarah gives a half-smile, “She’s not super...uh, how do I say this?”

As Sarah says “touchy-feely,” Mitch interjects.

“She’s pretty cold-hearted. She’s relatively nice, but what makes her such a good wedding planner is she doesn’t get caught up in the sentimentality of it, she just understands other people’s emotions and knows how to make them feel amazing.”

“That’s a little harsh,” Sarah looks at Mitch with a strong glare. After all, he was talking about her best friend’s little sister.

“Well, what’s her name?” Harry insists, semi-off put, but knowing her secret made him think it was possible for Renee’s sister and his ballroom girl to be the very same.

“Rori Williams, think it’s short for something else, but I don’t know, as long as I’ve known her she goes by Rori.” Sarah gives Harry a sad smile and it reminds him of his mystery girl.

“Do you think I could meet her or something? I just want to know if it’s her.” Harry says as they reach the first peak on their hike. He looks out at the view from there, Los Angeles was green for once, but he knew it would quickly fade to brown and tan as the spring plants died off again from the summer heat.

“Pretty sure she’s off working on some destination wedding right now. She doesn’t like being bothered when she’s working,” Sarah gives Harry a look for two reasons as she says that. One, because she knows his next question would be to contact her anyway. And two, she’s saying how he is exactly the same, hates being contacted when he’s busy with work. “I can text Renee to see what’s up.”

Harry nods, “Please…” He begins to imagine Rori as his ballroom girl and mutters to himself, “A June Wedding…” getting lost in a silly little daydream.

“Harry Styles is asking after you,” Renee snickers over the cellphone line.

“What is this? The 1800s?” Rori sighs, as she holds the phone to her ear with her shoulder. She tries to brush her hair from her face with a flick of her head, which makes for a rather silly sight as her head and shoulder move awkwardly. “People don’t ‘ask after’ anyone anymore.”

She was in Hawaii, Maui specifically, steaming a sneaky last crinkle out of the latest bride’s wedding veil.

“Well, he still is doing it. You know how he is.”

“I actually don’t,” Rori responds, easily, ignoring the memories of her two encounters with him. “What does he want?”

“Wants to meet you or something,” Renee says easily. “Thinks he met you at Sarah’s wedding, obviously impossible since I know you scampered off half way through the reception and he was falling down drunk at the half way marker as well…” she trails off.

Rori knows her sister well and expects the next thing to come out of Renee’s mouth.

“Oh my god! Did you hook up with him?!”

Expecting this, Rori responds quickly and calmly, “No, we did not hook up, I would never... I did watch him fall on his ass, though.”

“So it was you!”

“What was me?” Rori squints her eyes at her sister over the phone and finally straightens from her steaming task. She feels like she’s only half paying attention to the conversation, especially since she had no intention of meeting up with Harry. He had been so sweet and sad, and she truly wished him the best, but she knew she wasn’t the answer to his problem.

“You!” Renee all but yells into the phone, “Are his dream girl! He’s been wondering if you were even real for weeks.”

“I’m real,” Rori sighs and crosses the room she’s in to sit at the desk she was using as a work space. She flicks through the planner she was using for the Hearst wedding, set to take place tomorrow. “But I’m certainly not his dream girl...I told him that when he said he was in love with me.”

“He what?!” Renee exclaims and hears her sister sigh once again, she knows Rori is growing tired of the conversation and is ready to offer an excuse to hang up any moment now. “Nevermind that, I’m going to tell Sarah to give him your number and the date you get back to Los Angeles. Keep next weekend clear.”

Before Rori can open her strawberry pink lips to reply, Renee is squealing a goodbye and hanging up. She felt her shoulders sag with the empty line, she reclined into the nicely plush swivel chair. This is why she stayed out of love and relationships when they didn’t relate to work, they were exhausting. Too much ‘he said, she said’ going on at all times. Color palettes, seating arrangements and menus were simple, they made sense, they could be arranged and put into place. Relationships were messy, the actual event of a wedding could even be messy, but when she planned them out, for a single moment everything was orderly and simple. She was in control. She knew she couldn’t be Harry’s dream girl because she knew she couldn’t control that situation.

Upon arriving back in the continental United States, at the end of June, Rori ubered immediately to her apartment in Silverlake. Well, it was a converted garage behind a house of a friend of Renee’s. Like most apartments in Los Angeles, it was funky, but it was Rori’s until she decided where she wanted to move. She never wanted to buy in LA and she never wanted to upgrade from the place she had called home for the past four years.

Almost immediately after dropping her pink work tote bag and worn backpack on the floor next to her medium sized navy suitcase, her phone rang through the ‘Do Not Disturb’ setting with an unknown number. A New York number. Possibly a new client, she picks up quickly and shuts the window-paned door behind her. The days were long, the longest day of the year had almost arrived, yet the sun was still beginning to set in the sky and turn the light blue into a painting of oranges pinks and purples.

“Hello?”

“Is Rori Williams there?” A British voice asks, almost timidly.

“Who’s asking?”

“...Harry.”

“I was told you’d be calling or something along those lines,” she smiles to herself.

Harry sat in his room, chewing at his lip, still unsure if the voice on the other side of the phone call was the woman he had talked to previously.

“Can we go for a drink sometime? How’s tomorrow?”

“Someone is quite enthusiastic.”

“It’s just...I’m trying to figure something out.”

“So I’ve heard,” she chuckles slightly.

“So you won’t tell me whether you’re the girl I talked to at Sarah and Mitch’s wedding will you?”

“What would be the fun in that?”

“So it’s a right Cinderella, if the shoe fits situation,” he mumbles, slightly to himself, but she hears him clearly.

She laughs.

“I don’t really care for Cinderella, I’m not really one for Disney princesses at all, actually.”

His breath catches, a foggy memory of something having to do with princesses tries to break into his mind. He couldn’t remember still and he vowed time and time again that he would never get that drunk again. Too much time lost.

“Alright, Harry. I’ve just gotten home from a work trip so I’m planning on a bath, some wine, and some terribly raunchy TV to get my mind off of my life. How about you pick a time and a place for drinks and hopefully I will show up? Great! Goodnight.”

She doesn’t wait for a response, just clicks the red button that hangs up the phone and goes on with her professed plans. Harry sits in stunned silence for a few moments, whatever he had gotten himself into was going to be a ride of a lifetime.

At a quarter past six, Harry sits anxiously at the bar top of a semi casual, semi fancy, totally cool bar he loved. It was private so he wouldn’t be bombarded with people, but it was still lively enough that it wouldn’t be dead silent if conversation lulled between him and Rori. That is, if she showed up.

His foot begins to tap, ever so persistently against the silver footrest at the bottom of the bar. His eyes shift from right to left, not wanting to order a drink before she arrives, but also not wanting to wait much longer and not order a drink. He’d waived off the bartender twice already.

She walks in, right on time, Harry had just arrived early. Her lips part into a happy smile at his anxious stance at the bar, he mirrors her expression at the sight of her.

She’s wearing a billowy white button down, the sleeves cinching perfectly at her petite wrists, cinched beneath a brown corset-like tank top. Her breasts showed their true size today in this outfit. She had the collar pulled out and the corset made it so that her cleavage was perfectly sculpted just beneath the crisp white cloth. Her pants were sleek and black, understated to draw more of a focus to her top as well as the lavender jewel inlaid pendant hanging just above the swells of her breast. Harry’s eyes dipped to that level for a moment, but quickly recovered to focus on her face. The night of the wedding had been blurry, but he was sure Rori’s face was the one of his mystery girl.

He’s shy tonight and a little more reserved than last time. He’s out of his comfortable bubble, what could anyone expect from a man so constantly watched. He fidgets with the top most button of his shirt that was buttoned and thinks about unbuttoning it to reveal a little more of his chest, but he refrains. At a friend’s wedding he feels safe, but in public he’s always watching, always aware of the possible prying eye. But like he had said drunkenly to Rori, he always maintained his charm, no matter the circumstances.

“Lavender was gorgeous on you, but this…” he gives a graceful sweep of his hand to gesture at her outfit tonight, “is extremely enchanting.”

“So you remember me in lavender? I thought you couldn’t remember me at all.” She grins as she stands directly beside him, similar to the first time they had chatted at a bartop.

Harry clears his throat at her tease, “I knew once I laid eyes on you, I would know. So now I know.”

She smirks at his reasoning and orders a vodka cranberry, both not wanting to get off her ass or look any certain way. Vodka cranberries were acceptable mature drinks, but not overly pretentious in any way. Harry tells the bartender to make it two. She looks at him with a discerning eye.

“Do you remember the first time we met?” She asks as she slides into the bar seat that seems to be trying to look vintage but was likely made no less than five years ago.

Harry sits too, more easily since his legs are longer than hers. “We met in the ballroom for the first time, did we not?”

“No...we met at the bar in the reception room.” Her hand splays to feel the stone of this counter, cold unlike the wood of the previous one. “We were about this close after you’d rudely stepped ahead of me and ordered before I could...not that you noticed. I asked if you were having a rough night and you pretty much dismissed me.” She bites her lip as she tells him the story, her eyes widen as she watches the distress roll over his features at what she says.

“Oh god,” One of his hands reaches to grab her hand to emphasize his apology, “I’m so sorry, that’s so rude. I was having quite a rough night as you would eventually see.”

He stares at her face, trying to meet her eyes, but she’s glued to the sight of their hands intertwined. He was so smooth and it was making her melt, making the walls she had purposefully put up for this date weak. She had rules, especially for guys like Harry - not that there was anyone that compared to him in her life, but she had them and she knew she couldn’t just be swept off her feet by his sweet voice and gorgeous face that has the most puppy-dog look on it.

She knows she shouldn’t but the extra ice she had added to her personality melts away, her eyes going slightly moony as she watches him visibly relax again. “No worries, I enjoyed your company upon the second meeting, even if you didn’t even remember my name after it.”

“Well,” he finally catches her eye, “That’s where I have a bit of a bone to pick.”

“Oh?”

“You didn’t tell me your real name...gave me some fake name I can’t even remember, but it certainly wasn’t…” His eyes shift to her pendant again and he looks back at her brassy eyes in the bar’s lighting. “If your name is Rori Williams, why is your pendant an ‘A’?” He says slowly, another foggy memory trying to break the surface of his knowledge but still failing.

She finally feels in control of the situation, calm and assured of herself, which was maybe unfair since it seemed Harry really had a hard time remembering that night and she could really fuck with him if she wanted to, but she wouldn’t - couldn’t - with those earnest eyes looking at her.

“I told you my real name the first time we talked, Harry. It’s Aurora,” she retracts her hand from beneath his grasp and touches at the necklace, “I go by Rori both socially and professionally, but officially it’s Aurora and this had been my great-grandmother’s. I don’t go anywhere without it.”

“Almost as beautiful as its wearer,” he smirks, his gaze stuck on her face, attempting to convey something specific. She thinks she knows what he’s saying with his look.

“You’re quite the flirt,” she rolls her eyes playfully before specifically choosing to take a sip of her drink through the little straw the bartender had put in it. It draws Harry’s attention to her lips, and after a moment they were wet with a bit of excess vodka cranberry and Harry felt himself grow a little hot at the tips of his ears when her eyes meet with his. She had caught him staring, but he recovers easily.

“I remember telling you I never lose my charm, it’s true is it not?” Harry inquires, head leaning closer to her as he takes a sip of his own drink, making a show to lick his lips after removing them from the edge of the lowball glass.

Her laughter is loud but not overbearing, Harry thinks it’s the best laugh he’s ever heard even if she’s laughing at him. She’s true in that laugh, she’s not trying to make him fall for her with that laugh, it’s just her enjoying herself.

She responds with something sweet and the two begin the back and forth of a successful date. They both drink around three drinks as the night persists, but it’s enough for her to feel the burning pull inside the pit of her belly for Harry. His hands stay relatively to himself besides a few subtle touches at her hair and hands every so often, his feet are the ones to blame. At one point in the night, he hooks his loafer covered foot around her ankle and she is quick to lean into it, reciprocating the footsie with ease. Each brush of his leg against hers is electrifying, every nerve in her body was beginning to go crazy. She was buzzing in a way that she hadn’t when she had first encountered Harry. Tonight he was more suave, but with a tinge of timidness that made him irresistible.

Harry made sure he wouldn’t get drunk tonight, ordering only as much as Rori. He didn’t want to be the fool who couldn’t remember their time together, again. Plus, he didn’t want to forget any of their time together, he wanted to remember it all. Everything about her was amazing, the feeling he had about her, the nagging desire to meet her was for a reason, he was sure of it. If her voice was a melody, then she was the most beautiful love song he had ever heard.

At 11:30, he leans in close to Rori, his nose brushing at the hair tucked at her ear and asks her if she wants to leave. She looks at him confused, the warm feeling in her stomach falls because she thinks he wants to end the night.

“Oh,” she says dejected, she swore it was going well. “Right..That’s it.”

Harry’s brows crinkle at her sad face.

“No, love, I was saying,” he raises his brows, “Y’know.”

“Oh! Right! You just sounded so...I don’t know, serious.” She sinks in her seat, realizing her presumptions had been wrong.

“I was trying to be,” he twists his lips trying to find the word, as blush rises on his cheeks. “Seductive.”

The two of them are quickly realizing they can’t pretend with each other. Rori can’t keep up the harsh facade against love with him, he sees right through it. Harry can’t play his old tricks with her, she sees right through them.

She laughs again, “Well, it just sounded like you were bored. Sometimes your moves fall really flat.” She offers a sweet wink in consolation for his failed attempt at trying to really get her weak in the knees.

They were a lovesick mess together as they clambered off their bar seats and exit the bar that had gotten increasingly loud.

“So what’s next?” She asks on the warm summer night.

He steps closer and takes the liberty of fiddling with the strap of the corset she has on. His head is tilted down as he towers over her. “You know me Rori, I’m a hopeless romantic so I desperately want to take you out for dinner sometime and slow dance with you until the sun comes up, but,” his breath fans over her face now as he shifts impossibly closer, “I also want to grip your hair as I watch you writhing underneath me. Just tell me what you’d prefer and it’s all yours.”

Her breathing has become a slight pant as his words wash over her. His nose brushes over the ridge of hers and she takes the moment to put her hands on his shoulders and pull him onto her. They were in the alleyway beside the bar, away from prying eyes except a few people too drunk to recognize Harry's face that is all but hidden in Rori.

“Harry,” she breathes, her eyes fluttering shut as she makes the decision to cross them into the point of no return. She wants this too much. She hadn’t thought this would be how her night would go, thought she would brush him off and never see him again, but god, she needed his warm body everywhere. Needed him to touch every part of her.

“Rori,” he responds.

“I want the second one first,” she whispers, feeling a little too eager, but feeling Harry press excitedly against her reassures her.

His lips press a searing kiss to her and she makes a sound of happiness at the contact. Her hands fist at the fabric of his shirt as she presses her lips feverishly back onto his. Harry’s quick to grip at the back of her neck and the small of her back, keeping her tight to him as he licks into her mouth.

“Can still taste that last vodka cran,” he notes before kissing her again.

Their tongues rub against each other, sloppily but with a tenderness hidden there as well. She snorts at his words which makes him smile and they’re kissing is becoming more silly as they try to contain their laughter. He pulls away, finally giving up trying to maintain the kiss while they both laughed.

“Would you like to come back to mine?” Harry asks as he leans his forehead against hers.

Rori’s eyes flicker open and stare into his, the focus only on his eyes and the sprinkle of light freckles and beauty marks below them. She nods her head, making his move with it. They both smile, trying to contain their laughter once more.

She presses her lips against his once more for a small peck and then lowers her head into the crook of his neck. The skin warm and smooth against hers as she whispers happily to him.

“It’s your turn now, Harry,” Rori says blissfully.

She had been the answer to all his questions.

#to lovers fic challenge #harry styles imagine #harry styles one shot #harry styles oneshot #harry styles fan fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fan fiction #harry styles x ofc #harry styles x reader #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harry styles smut

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sunshine--writes · 3 years

Text

Blood Bound

header image courtesy of one of the biggest Lady Dimitrescus simps i’ve ever met.

This is the first and last time i will ever write anything so be prepared. Also i’m not the best writer so some parts might be very rushed and sloppy sorry. Idk how to post on tumblr either and also i’m on mobile so sorry for weird formatting issues :)

A little background I wrote this as a presentation thing with my friends so it’s not gonna be good. Also this is the first time i’ve ever written smut so sorry i guess?

Warnings: NSFW of course, uh very kinky probably, swears in this warning, f! Reader, reader is a vampire pls let me have this, IT MAKES SENSE FOR THE STORY PLEASE LET ME HAVE THIS, vampires need sleep i guess idk just fuck let me live, fluff at the end bc im a whore for that kinda shit, probably ooc for Lady Dimitrescu but like idk her character other than dom mommy milkers so, blindfolds, binding arms? what is it called??

All of your senses returned to you very slowly. You didn’t know where you were, or why someone had taken you in the middle of the night, but for some reason you felt safe. You could feel the cold damp floor of the cell you could only presume you were in and you could smell rotting flesh and the wet metal that surrounded you. You could hear the dripping noises of falling water coming from somewhere in front of you, and the sound of footsteps slowly approaching. The only sense you never regained was your sight. You could feel the soft fabric that covered your eyes and made a reasonable guess that your host for the evening had blindfolded you.

“Have you awoken my darling?” Ah, speak of the devil. The person that belonged to that sultry voice was one Lady Dimitrescu -- the countess that you have met with several times before and every encounter has somehow ended the same way. You remember the first time you met the 9 foot tall woman. It was 1920, and as the child of a wealthy eastern european count, you were required to attend the galas that were thrown. During one such occasion you happened to run into Lady Dimitrescu, and had unfortunately uncovered her secret. At the first sign of danger a normal person would have run, but who were you to judge? After all, aren't you two essentially the same?

That was the first night, and the begging of a long mutual relationship between the two of you. A whirlwind of passion, anger, misery, and lust was the only way you could describe these past decades you have spent with her. Everytime you left her embrace, you couldn’t help but long to be in it again no matter how angry you were. This on again off again relationship had persisted through generations, and you would be damned if you would give up now. She had introduced you to your friends who had shared the same beliefs, and made you feel welcomed. She had been there during the downfall of your family's power, and she was there for every milestone. You had to admit, your life was tied to this woman if you had liked it or not. Every night you spent apart was agony, and every moment you spent together was bliss. You have eternity, so what's the use in spending anymore time apart?

This night felt different. It wasn't normal for her to seek out your company, so why has she all of a sudden? And since when has she been this gentle? If it was like any other night she would have already had her way with you and thrown you to the side. Tonight was definitely different.

“My dear turn towards me.” She demanded, and you obeyed, crawling your way to the direction you think she might be in. You found her in the corner of what you think is a cell. You could tell she was sitting in a chair so you sat on your knees in front of her.

“Ah, isn’t this better darling? Everything is as it should be.” You could hear the sound of her claws extending -- and then you felt as she dragged the nail across your cheek, across your lips, and down to your chin.

“My love, head up. This way I can see your beautiful face.” She spoke as she lifted your head with her sharp claw. “Ah this beautiful face, the one that has tormented my dreams for far too long. Isn’t this much better?” You nod, what does she mean tormented her dreams? Over these past years you understood that this relationship was not one out of love, so you never gave yourself hope that she might feel the same as you. Even as her words sounded like a declaration of longing, you refused to dream. An intimate relationship with her, even one without love, was enough for you. As long as you could remain at her side for the rest of eternity you would be happy.

She sighed, “No matter, tonight is somewhat of a celebration, and as I am in a good mood I have sought you out. So where shall we start?” You hear the claw retreat back into her hand and her start to stand up, towering over you. “Lets get you out of these clothes hm?” She grabs you by the neck forcing your body down to the ground, cool gloved hands start roaming all over your body, loosening and untying the thin clothes you wore to sleep that night. “Ah beloved, how I had missed this.” Her mouth descended onto your neck where you could feel the warmth of her saliva as she sucked on that tender spot. You whimpered, moving closer into the bigger woman, although this isn't the first time she has marked you like this, it still sends tingles down your spine. Your hands started to roam as Lady Dimitrescu moved her way from your neck to your chin, and finally to your mouth: enveloping you in a deep kiss. Your back arched to be closer to the woman on top, deepening the kiss. You could taste the reminisce of blood and the sweet wine she had been brewing for years. Tonight really was an important celebration. You couldn’t control yourself as both of your bodys moved in tandem, your hands moving down her back.

She pulled away, leaving you gasping for air, “Now now my dear, you know the rules. No touching without permission. Now let's get these hands out of the way hm?” You could feel as the warmth from her body moved away, leaving you semi-naked on the cold floor. You couldn’t tell where she had gone, nor how long she was gone for -- every minute without her felt like agony anyway.

Her footsteps finally came back, “On your knees,” she demanded, and you moved without hesitation. “Both arms behind you.” Again you moved without thinking, obeying every word. You could feel as some soft fabric was slowly wrapped around both of your wrists and then tied, you could guess that it was the same silk as the one around your eyes.

“There, isn't that better darling? Now lay back down, I will loosen you up.” A claw extended and you felt as the rest of your already loose clothes were torn off, including your slick underwear. “Hm?” she laughed, “Already ready for me?”

“Yes mistress.” you nodded, spreading your legs slightly.

“Darling you know I love it when you call me that.” Gloved hands traced their way from your neck, to your breasts, down your stomach, and finally rested on your thighs. “Hm? What should I do darling? Shall we continue?”

“Yes mistress.” You begged, wiggling your body hoping for her hand to end up in that place you wanted it. You begged for her to give you release, begged for the thing you missed the most over these years.

“Hm? Shall I grant you your requests? Maybe you should beg some more first.” Her hands suddenly moved, finding their way back up to your breasts, hands playing with your nipples. You squirmed, wishing that the woman would give you what you wanted.

“Please mistress,” you begged, pushing yourself onto her thigh. Your cries fell on def ears as she continued to play with you. You started grinding on her thigh, pleading with your mistress to take you. “Please Lady Dimitrescu, please help me.”

You felt her hot hands finally leave your chest, “Fine, I shall grant this one request to you my beloved.” Suddenly you felt a gloved finger push its way inside you, forcing itself deeper in, her other hand went back to playing with your breasts. You gasped, moaning as she started moving around slowly inside. You tried to move yourself down onto her hand, allowing sweet relief. Her unoccupied hand made its way up to your neck and she started choking you.

Her tempo picked up as another finger made its way inside. The sounds coming out of you were ungodly, she had you crying out in pleasure. “Do you like that my dear?” she called out from on top of you. You could only nod your head and cry out something akin to the word yes. She was moving even faster and you could feel the pressure inside of you about to explode, you begged your mistress to please release you, but she wouldn’t budge moving faster than she had ever moved before. You were moaning and screaming in pleasure, you silently thanked whoever was up there that you were in a castle otherwise you would probably have a noise complaint by now. Her movements had you writhing around, grasping for anything with your bound hands. You brought your legs and wrapped them around her, opening yourself up for her. You were desperately grinding against her hand, your walls tightening before you could come.

“Eager now aren't we, well my love shall I let you come?” Although you were blindfolded you could see her smirking face. You called out between moans, crying for her to let you. You were begging and pleading, you must have looked so pitiful but in that moment you wished for nothing more than to come undone by this woman's hands.

“Lets see how loud you can be.” You felt your walls close down on the fingers inside of you as you screamed out in pleasure, the pressure finally being released. You could feel your juices coming out as orgasms wracked through your body. The pleasure was too much for you to handle and before you knew it you passed out.

***

You awoke in a very comfortable bed, the feel of the satin sheets under you cooled your body and sent shivers all over. You had realized that both the blindfold and your arm restraints were gone, and your body had been cleaned up from last night's activities. You were wearing a thin nightgown that only accentuated how cold it was in this room. As you looked around you finally saw the face of the sleeping woman next to you. Strange, you had never awoken next to her, no matter how vigorous the previous night's activities were she always left before you woke up. You giggled quietly to yourself, last night must have been a special night indeed. You saw sunlight streaming in from the large windows on the northern wall of this bedroom casting itself onto her. She had never looked more beautiful in your long life. You reached out your hand and started softly stroking the woman's face and hair, careful not to wake her. You traced your way from her forehead down to her lips, pausing there slightly. Last night was different, it wasn't bad, it was in fact very good. It was just something you never thought would happen for the both of you. As you look at the face of sleeping Lady Dimitrescu in front of you, you couldn’t help but wonder what your life would be like if you two had a different kind of relationship. Your thoughts were cut short when you felt two arms snake their way around you and suddenly you were pulled into the woman's arms.

“What are you doing awake so early my little dove? You should rest some more, last night must have been very taxing on your body.” Lady Dimitrescu spoke. You were shocked to say the least. Over the decades you have known the Countess, you have never been in her arms like this. This is what you had dreamt of for so long, wanting to feel true, romantic love from this woman, and now that you are here you felt as if you could cry.

And cry you did. Before you could stop yourself you felt the tears falling down your face and onto the clothes of the woman holding you.

“My beloved what is wrong?” Lady Dimitrescu frantically spoke as she tried to wipe the tears out of your eyes, “What is the matter? Please tell me.”

“It’s truly nothing,” you finally croaked out after minutes of sobbing. You must have looked ridiculous like this. How could you really think that she would love you like you love her. You are nothing compared to her.

“If you are crying then of course something is wrong. Please tell me darling, I hate to see you so sad.”

You hesitated. Was it really alright to tell her the thoughts that have plagued you for generations? You didn’t want things to change between the two of you. Even if you were just treated as a play thing, as long as you could stay with her you would do anything. “I love you. I have loved you for years, and you will never reciprocate how I feel. I am nothing to you other than a toy you can throw away at a moment's notice. But still I wish to stay by your side, even If I am nothing other than that. Don’t let my feelings change our relationship. I only want to stay with you.” The tears came back but you wouldn’t let them fall. You were stronger than that.

You felt her hold on you tighten as she brought you closer to her, lips brushing over your forehead and over your eyes. Her mouth moved around your face, kissing away your tears.

“Beloved who ever said I never felt the same way?”

to those liking this at 2 am: 📸📸📸

#lady dimitrescu #x f!reader #vampire reader #smut #blindfold #binding #idk what else to put in the tags #mommy issues #big mommy milkers #sub! reader #dom lady dimitrescu #lady dimitrescu x reader #you can treat this as a y/n but i never said a name so idc #lady dimitrescu fic #what game is she from?#resident evil?#i don’t remember #i’m not a writer

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antiloreolympus · 3 years

Text

13 Anti LO Asks

1. ok but thats seriously what bugs me so much about LO, it never actually lets serious moments be serious, it's always lampooned by rachel's insistent need to force in her juvenile "humor" and never actually depicting how pressing things are. even the following moments from persephone's r//pe was undercut by hades making stupid puns! i understand if rachel cant write something more serious than "[x] is bad" but if thats so, then dont try it? because thats how you end up with this pretentious mess.

2. since when did lo hades have earrings??? i legit do not remember this ever being a thing??? is he trying to be hip with the kids 😭my man you still look like a crusty old man the earrings arent helping 😭

3. lo hermes looks and acts like flaky from happy tree friends and no thats not a compliment (TW for gore, blood, and violence if any of you google it)

4. Even though the earlier art style was better there are still some cursed panels from the earlier pages that still haunt me. Especially the way Persephone was drawn differently in so many of the panels.

5. lo hades has such "how do you do fellow kids" energy and im not sure why

6. im also confused on the fertility goddess stuff because how stupid is persephone if she didnt notice? she can create life and nature without even thinking and shes implied to be a genius in biology, so how would she not even notice this? if RS really wants to go with this plot, then why have her professor bring it up in class? why not show persephone going to her uni's library to research the topic and pouring over it? that's an easy way to show persephone's intelligence, yet LO doesnt even try.

7. What I wanna know in LO was how Demeter and Hestia were compensated after the war. The three brothers got to be kings and Hera is queen, but what we know of Demeter is that she had a millionaire dollar business that’s probably made it on its own (unless she was helped out) and then Hestia all we really know about her is that she runs that TOGEM and idk if there’s only 4 of them, Hestia really had a group by herself for a bit since Athena is Zeus’ (assumed) daughter, Artemis (Zeus’ assumed daughter) and persphone (newest member) which seems shitty since they won a war together

8. I think what happened with LO’s art style was RS got “lazy” (I’m lacking the right word). I feel like without the colors all of the men in LO have the same body type, and Hermès and Apollo may even have the same face if they smile the same. So to compensate for that lack of body diversity, RS doubled down on Hades’ features to make him stand out more to really show he’s the male lead. However, even in her own words he looks like Persphones’ “dusty ass dad”

The women use to be a little different but they’re all starting to blend with body types. Her was small, but now she’s short and busty like Persphone. RS makes Persphone look short and busty all the time but almost childlike. Minthe was skinny but her last moments she was busy. Aphrodite I feel was just busty but then tried to make her look small also with Ares and Hades beside her. Hestia stayed the same but is still small and busty. Athena was tall and thin (?) but now she’s tall but busty (and her relationship with Hestia looks like it mirrors HXP). Idk I just feel like the longer screen time the female characters get the more they start mirroring Persphone’s look. Like even Artemis was getting empathized on being small next to her brother Apollo. Like all the girls gotta look small but curvy as the story goes on.

9. Demeter: watched her friend get ripped in half. Watched her friend get continually cheated on, paying the price for not hiding a mistress , watched metis get eaten, her back clawed, fought in a war. Later made a daughter who’s a fertility goddess (probably an accident) and now has to raise her. That same daughter then went on a rampage and isn’t really remorseful

Fans: Demeter is such an overbearing mother who gets in the way of our ship.

10. on regards to ace characters, asexuality is a spectrum like everything else, so a lot of asexuals actually do enjoy and have sex, so the maidens doing so isnt inherently a problem, its the fact rachel is clearly viewing it through a strict binary where she assumes asexuality is something that can be "fixed" over time/when the right person comes along. its also a bad modern reading of it, as "virginity" in an ancient sense meant via marriage, not via sex, but I doubt rachel cares to factcheck it.

11. Imagine an elf is given a job to do at a human institution. The humans think elves don’t need bathroom breaks, since they know they can hold it for days, but this elf has been traveling to reach their job, and has already been holding it to the point they are in pain. They ask for a break, but their job is important and time sensitive, so they admit they can still hold it when asked. After a full day of work, the elf tries to reach the bathroom in time, but they were never told where it is.

From OP: I think this might be a nymph allegory? Anon never specified so I'll put this here anyway.

12. ya know if hades has to lie to make apollo seem worse (who does not need much in this comic) its like??? why is he persephone's lawyer then?? lawyers are literally told not to lie, this is basic law 101. thats why they dont want their clients to mention to them if they actually did the crimes because then the lawyers have to say it in court. if hades lies so casually just to keep persephone away from justified punishment, then thats bad actually! both in being a decent person and as a lawyer!

From OP: Hades didn’t lie but he was definitely out of line. RS liked a tweet saying that the wife thing was “subconscious” so it probably was. (Still doesn’t make it right but I doubt he’d say those things on the stand.)

13. I know Minthe was written in a way she was suppose to be unlikesable, she’s rude, she yells and she doesn’t hesistate. HOWEVER RS wrote her character badly. Minthe is so unliked? How was she able to be a bad gf to hades and Thanatos? Like yes it’s an affair but how was she able to pull 2 gods?! We don’t hear Hades or Thanatos say what they like about her BUT they both still had a fling with her. (Honestly I feel it’s cause RS can’t bare writing one nice thing about the female anatangoist without trying to make Persphone look good)

The other thing bothering me was everyone knew about her relationship with Hades after she put it on fatesbook, but everyone talked about the kiss in such a positive light IN FRONT OF HER. Aren’t they suppose to be scared of her? Why did the girls in the yoga class/dress shop had so much to say about that kiss? Because they knew persphone? Did they know every other detail too? What was their actual beef with Minthe?

I feel like realistically some more characters would have sympathy for Minthe if they didn’t know her that well because of Hera. Everyone knows Hera is a pill to deal with and she’s the goddess of marriage who hasn’t really tried bringing Minthe and Hades to the alter. That right there should let everyone know that Hera probably doesn’t help the situation.

Idk, I feel like RS could have gone deeper and made the character not such HXP shippers cause most people wouldn’t cheer for cheating nor an old ass guy getting with a 19 year old. (Idk how fast the news of the slap spread, but I doubt it made it to every place in their fictional world)

#anti lo #anti lore olympus #lore olympus critical #lo critical

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n7punk · 3 years

Note

I was working on this digital fan art for an author whose writing I loved. However, I’ve recently become aware of some toxic behavior on their part. I’m really proud of how the art is turning out though! I even considered making another tumblr to post it so that I could hide my shame. Moment of weakness. I downloaded tumblr to look at She-ra fan art and read other people’s ramblings but I’m incredibly grateful for the thoughtful way you approached the topic. It forced me to dig deep and really think about what I support and what my support means to other people. The depth of discussion around this is hard for me to grasp (cis lesbian using she/her pronouns) but I want to and you specifically are helping me. Long way of saying thanks, I think you’re smart af. I ALSO LOVE YOUR WRITING!!!

ty! rest assured, if i ever do something transphobic, it is an accident and please correct me. I dealt with so much internalized transphobia when i came out to myself (//cw transphobia: i cant count how many hours i spent laying in my bed shouting “youre a girl! just be a girl!” to myself) and it’s hard to deprogram that shit.

The art is a tough situation, especially when you have something like that which you are proud of. If you have friends in the fandom space, perhaps you could share it privately with them so someone can still appreciate it with the appropriate caveats behind the source of the initial inspiration?

Under a read more because I don’t want to give her a voice but I wanna rant about her “apology”:

if she had been at all remorseful, that would be a different conversation, but i am 100% convinced she is a crypto-terf. She deleted her original 6-tweet response that “i’m right that this isn’t transphobic” but boy was it something, and the thin apology she posted later was not sufficient, nor did it feel at all genuine to me.

And okay, let’s pretend that excluding someone based only on their genitals isn’t inherently transphobic: it would still be problematic and hurtful, like having a mug that says “i dont do [fat people]” or any other personal feature. it is discriminating someone based on their body, and nobody would be defending that as a “personal choice” of hers, they would be calling it fatphobic (which takes us back to the part where this was absolutely transphobic).

Then she pulled the “cancel culture is toxic and hurts everybody” card in her next tweet, making herself out to be the victim in the grand scheme. These tweets were not rash reactions btw, they were spread out over the course of several hours or even a day, and she didn’t delete them for many hours afterwards either - these tweets are how she really feels, and the fact she has since deleted everything and is not addressing it shows that she doesn’t want to learn better. (She could be addressing it on her discord/patreon, idk im not on there, but I doubt it).

This isn’t the first incident with her showing disregard for others and it won’t be the last. Her server was a toxic place I legitimately felt trapped in even though I rarely spoke. My readers would notice if I left, so I was thankful when I was given an out to leave. That is when I posted about not taking requests, but I was actually leaving because of the three separate incidents where they triggered me with the disgusting and violent content they posted. They would repeatedly praise authors I have blacklisted for triggering content. If I had owned that server, I would have completely banned discussions of those works, censorship be damned. I can tell you from how she handled triggers that Silk only cares about things that negatively affect her personally. She isn’t a kind or caring person, and that would be enough to earn my block, even if she wasn’t a terf (which she is).

#anon #ask

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cassyapper · 3 years

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OKAY IVE ACTUALLY PLAYED TWO SESSIONS SINCE MY LAST POST SO IM GONNA COMBINE THEM HERE SORRY FOR THE LENGTH BUT,,IVE COME SO FAR I DONT WANNA STOP NOW

this is gonna be very messy cause i WILL be jumping back and forth as things come back to mind so uhh pls enjoy this absolute ramble <3

anyway. i continued playing omori and boy do i have some Thoughts

so first session; i went through the pyre(something i forgot the full name sob) forest/sprout mole village/sweetheart’s castle in one go and let me TELL YOU. DOING THAT WAS FUCKING INSANE I WENT NUTS holy shit.

so anyway.

pyre forest!!!! the lil race against the big spider coming after u for disturbing the smaller spiders mechanic was very fun i had a lot of fun figuring out the best routes to take. i know normally mechanics like that lead to ppl getting frustrated cause u have to keep retrying but i had a lot of fun!!!! sum annoyance but good natured type, th kind that just makes u try harder u know? i just enjoyed it JKFN;FN; candles in the foggy forest....now That is an aesthetic

the rare bear scared the fuckin shit out of me i remember it didn’t attack me straight away so i was like “aw (:” but then when i press x on him it takes me to a BATTLE SCREEN AND SUDDEN THAT MF IS TERRIFYING I WAS LIKE WHWHWHWHWKJDNJ. very funny i honestly wished i recorded my reaction

also omori is afraid of drowning...................................i am breathing heavily. i think whatever happened to mari is related to at least one of the things omori is scared of. so either heights, spiders, or drowning it seems. spiders doesnt seem super likely as a contributor to her death, and while falling from a height is more realistic, such a senseless way of dying doesnt seem to rlly fit ? with the vibe i get from the kiddos in the real world. which makes me think maybe drowning/otherwise suffocating is how she died...but we’ll see. also due to the forgotten library part, we know omori explicitly feared spiders/drowning before mari died so it’s also probable im jus talking out my ass here but still,,,,thoughts

also this motherfucker?

literally fucking terrifying. IT’S BODY IS MADE OF SUCC’D SPROUT MOLES...i still have no idea what exactly it was doing to them but jesus h christ!!!! evil and fucked up. do not feel bad for curbstomping it

sprout mole village!!!! very cute, im v excited to send that one dude his brother’s care package. i like how, when theyre not lost, sprout moles can be real endearing lil guys,,,theyre not my fav lil enemies but (:

also for some reason omori is the first game ive played where i really care about getting achievements ? so i literally did the back and forth on my save file just to get all the season sprout mole achievements JKDJFJ;. i ended up sticking w spring tho before moving on for real cause spring is my fav season irl (:

also i felt SO BAD for cutting down that one sprout mole’s chistmas tree he was just trying to celebrate but i wanted to see that present and coincidentally becoming a christmas ruiner was an achievement so all’s fair in love and war i suppose

ALSO. th fuckin plant monster thing under the scientist sprout mole’s room. major little shop of horror vibes from the design, absolutely adored it!!!!! originally i did just cut the wire holding the piano over it, ending it in one go, but i was very curious abt it so i reloaded a save file to actually fight it and

i know it only spread that gas to make the kiddos happy cause being happy reduces attack i think ? it decreases attack/defense but seeing the kiddos smile so much was nice (:

however

omori...sunny....son boy.........u good ?

and now. sweetheart

the way the sprout moles completely adore and depend on sweetheart gives me such awful evil vibes and combined with such a luxurious background was fucking incredible

sweetheart herself, speaking of. bitch (sorta affectionately, certainly not derogatory)

i talked to every sprout mole in the audience before taking my seat and i literally dont know why. even when i picked up the pattern of where the unique dialogue could be found (usually the sprout moles farthest right) i still talked to all of them......just in case ? i have no idea. i dont know why i did that. i feel it’s important that i note it tho

LMAO SO WHEN SPROUT MOLE MIKE DID THE MINUTE OF SILENCE FOR YE OLD SPROUT MOLE

I LITERALLY FELT SO FUCKING BAD LMAO I WAS LIKE OH MY GOD NO!!!!!! I DID THAT!!! I KILLED HIM!!! OH MY GOD!!! I WONDER HOW AWKWARD OMORI KEL HERO AND AUBREY FELT IN THE AUDIENCE HOLY SHIT THEY HAD FRONT ROW SEATS TO SPROUT MOLE MIKE’S MOURNING!!! MY GOD FJKFN;;

also sprout mole mike describing 3′7″ inches as ”towering” was the FUNNIEST shit i have ever seen. also i have to wonder, since sweetheart made up the whole show of sweetheart’s quest for hearts in the first place, if she was seriously down to marry a sprout mole if one suited her fancy. jus v funny to me honestly. SPEAKING of sweetheart’s dating patterns I NOTICED THOSE FEM SKELETONS IN THE DUNGEON!!!!! BI SWEETHEART!!!! SHE’S JUST AS DOWN FOR GIRLS AS SHE IS BOYS

i know TECHNICALLY not everyone is in the dungeon for failing to be a good enough suitor but STILL...COME ON. THIS WAS BEFORE WE KNEW THAT. SWEETHEART BI I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL

anyway

when the lights when out and lightning struck the third contestant, i knew Immediately something was gonna go down. and when the mustache sprout mole was like “oh yes!! u!! in the striped pjs!! u absolute beast ur perfect!!!” i KNEW hero had just been selected as the replacement i was goign completely fucking nuts i was like OH MY GODNFNG; HIS HEART IS ALREADY TAKEN BY MARI!!!!!!! STOP

i ended up taking so many screenshots during this part cause i was going feral so here take a glance just cause i love, uh, hero

OUR HERO IN SHINING ARMOR DJLBH;KFJB

also GOD FUCKING DAMMIT IM SHORTER THAN HERO

hero shaking on the stage when he was introduced...oh my HEART....IM SO FOND FOR THIS BOY WTF!!!!! DKJDN;N

this is not really NEWS to me since it’s implied hero is tall but like come ON..... sorry just every time i find out a character is explicitly taller than me i need to huff about it, moving on,

HERO FUCKS

sorry i just have so many screenshorts during this aprt cause i was going fucking crazy but

literally terrifying! sweetheart bathes in that shit!! christ!

is blood good for ur skin? i imagine, so long as like...gore isnt in it and it’s solely blood it cant be BAD necessarily......but good ? regardless very fucked up. besides the fact that well, uh, BLOOD, blood is also sticky as hell. ur telling me sweetheart willinglhy bathed in that shit? disgusting. at least thin it out

anyway I HAD SO MUCH FUN DOING THE PUZZLES AT SWEETHEART’S CASTLE....FROM THE DUNGEONS TO THE KITCHENS TO THE BALLROOM TO THE LIBRARY TO THE GARDENS JUST EVERYTHING!!!! IT WAS SO FUN I ENJOYED FIGURING IT OUT SO MUCH IT WAS LITERALLY DELIGHTFUL...I LOVE THIS GAME SO MUCH THE GAMEPLAY IS SO FUCKING EPIC I LITERALLY HAVE SO MUJCH FUN.......OH MY GOD I JUST. INCREIDBLE!!!! FUCK

also the lil sir maximus bit.........i honestly felt really awful over having to kill them ): i think i even tried running once but it wouldnt let me...it hurt man ): they were just a family....

um but anyway,

i think it was rlly sweet how aubrey protested to the wedding cause she was worried abt sweetheart,,,like i cant rlly explain it idk how to put it into words,,like sweetheart is clearly not mentally well and having an episode, and aubrey being the only one to say “hey what ur doing is self-destructive and isolating” just mmmh. she cares a lot,,,and *i* care aubrey

also sweetheart’s battle theme fucking SLAPPED...SO GODDAMN HARD IM STILL QUAKING OVER IT....FUCKING BANGER YO!!!!!! INCREDIBLE

ah but alas

BASIL........I NOTICED THAT IT WAS HIS GHOST/SHADOW DURING THE EXIT FROM OTHERWORLD AS WELL BUT JUST FUCK

im so worried about basil ):

and it being so obvious that none of the others can see...........them asking omori if he’s okay.....oh my god. i go nuts

and then...the forgotten library part

i literally cried, again, oh my fucking god

these kids loved each other so much they ADORED the time they spent with each other and im QUAKING to know WHAT HAPPENED TO MARI......HOW DID THE FALLOUT GO. I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW

i know there are multiple endings to this game and on god i am not QUITTING until i get the happiest ending there is for these kids im literally a goddamn fuckign mess oh my god

MARI SHWOING UP IN THE LIBRARY AT ONE POINT AND LEADING OMORI...........IM LTIERALLY GOIGN INSANE OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD HE LOVED HIS SISTER SO MUCH HE’S SO CLEARLY LOST WITHOUT HER I CANT FUCKING DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW

GOD

okay sorry i just. ive said ti before but the grief in this game is so real and palpable and it aches, it aches so bad. also the white egret orchids in the library...i see u

but regardless.... session two real world electric boogaloo

LOVE that kel is like “so i need to run errands but u wanna come with me right? of course u do!” like fuck i rlly do. kel is just so delightful i would literally do anything to spend time with him

ALSO i noticed u can just refuse to open the door both times kel’s knocked now and it makes me wonder....if u could choose to ignore kel ? and then venture out urself or just ? i wonder what would even happen if u chose to not open the door. im CERTAINLY not doing it myself at the very least not this playthrough but i am curious...i bet that’s how u get a bad ending, by not talking w kel

but anyway....

aubrey and her gang not saying anything in the pizza parlor........i jus think abt that is all

ALSO!! pet rocks!!!!!!!!! LOVE this lil thing it’s so cute. jus rock paper scissors it babey

speaking of lil bits, love all the mini quests in the real world...it’s just rlly fun and builds up this cute lil town........it also makes me think that whatever happened to mari cant have been anything except an accident, bc no one comments on what a tragedy it was to omori. like if it was murder, there’s no way such a horrific situation wouldnt engulf the town for a bit and sweep over it for weeks at least, but that just doesnt seem to have happened. this is def me reading too into it tho;; point is neighbors nice (: also i got the seashell necklace and i go apeshit

ALSO......THE FUCKING...........CHURCH. I VISITED WITH KEL ON A COMPLETE WHIM CAUSE I WAS CURIOUS IF THE PASTOR WOULD TALK MORE ABT AUBREY BUT NO. INSTEAD HE TALKS ABT THE WEIRD VIBE FORM THE GRAVEYARD HE’S GETTING!!! AND THE DUDE WHO CHILLS IN THE GRAVEYARD SAYS SHIT ABT THE SPIRITS GETTING READY FOR SOMEONE TO JOIN THEM!!!! BITCH WAHT THE FUCK

THERE’S NOF UCKING WAY THIS ISNT ABOUT BASIL. THERE IS NO!!! WAY!!!! I SWEAR ON GOD IF BASIL DIES I WILL LOSE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ESP CAUSE THERE IS LITERALLY NO OTHER WAY HE COULD DIE EXCEPT SUICIDE THAT’S WHAT IT HAS BEEN IMPLYING OVER AND OVER I GO NUTS I GO APESHIT NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK

OKAY SORRY I JUST. HHHHHHHHHHH

baby has acquired baby

kel’s family is rlly cute,,,,v heartwarming. i trust them

i do worry abt like...the stark difference between recognizing kel’s accomplishments and hero’s...i just idk. i just keep thinking abt that bit in kel’s story abt hero’s depression when his parents focused on hero and ignored him, and i just. kel’s family is good People but i worry if kel has a good support system...i jus........): i am watching

ahh THE BASIL MISSING PART MADE MY HEART LITERALLY FUCKING DROP..I WAS SO FUCKING PANICKED I WAS LIKE OH MY GOD THIS IS IT BASIL IS DEAD

THANKFULLY HE WASNT BUT HOLY GOD HOW THAT WHOLE SITUATION PANNED OUT MADE ME GO NUTS!!!!!!! BASIL...AUBREY...HER GANG.......FUCK OH M YOGD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

THANK G O D I SNOOPED AROUND KEL’S HOUSE BEFORE LEAVING I WOULD HAVE H A T E D TO FIGHT THEM ALL AT ONCE IM GLAD I WAS ABLE TO JUST PEPPER SPRAY THEM JESUS CHRIST

oh my god kim like asking for aubrey all concerned before deciding to trust her and leaving.....kim i diagnose u with lesbain

the whole fucking. basil almost drowning scene. i seriously feel like ive changed like as a person over it. i am thinking . i am thinking. i am only evee thinking about mari and how omori just loved her so much and how the thought of her gave him strength. th pic of her ghost holding omori’s hand in the water made me cry

MMMM BUT. HERO!!!

I DIE I DIE I DIE HE’S SO PRETTY FUCK ALSO HIM PICKING UP BASIL WOOOOOOOO THIS IS WHAT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THAT’S WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT YEAHHHHHHHH

god i feel so bad about leaving aubrey tho. shes so clearly not okay and she so clearly did not mean to push basil in and oh my GOD I JUST...PLEASE....PLEASE CAN WE JUST TLAK TO HER I NEED TO TLAK TO HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEED TO FUCK

the ghosts of omori and aubrey on the swings made me cry out like i had been physically assaulted

AHH BUT THEN TAKING BASIL HOME AND WHILE HE’S IN HIS BED HE JUST SAYS “oh sunny...there’s not way out of this...is there?” I LITERALLY GO BUCKWILD APESHIT INSANE STUPDI!!!!!! BASIL YOURE PUTTING UP A LOT OF ALARMING FLAGS HERE!!! PLEASE DO NOT FUCKING DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK. CHRIST. HELL. SHIT. THIS GAME IS DRIVING ME FUCKING CRAZY

GOD

oh my god but the day ending with hero and kel sleeping over at omori’s house...im kdnd im jkdim im not uhm okay THEY BUILT A BLANKET FORT PLEASE..I LOVE THEM

goddd hero going into the piano room....playing sum........and then asking omori abt the song he and mari used to play on violin...and then THE TITLE SCREEN MUSIC STARTS PLAYING....HI. HI HELLO HI YOU CANT FUCKIGN DO THAT HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOUFBJFGJNGN;EJNE; IM GOIGN NUTS

also the name omori comes from the piano.............interesting...i wonder why sunny likes being called omori in the dreamscape...

god but omori not having a srs hallucination cause he’s w his friends and he feels safe...im gonna sob

However. i did glance into the bathroom mirror. AND INSTEAD OF THE EYE MF IT’S A DISTORTED AS HELL GHOST MARI???IM SO FUCKIGN SCARED. IM SO SCARED. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK? CREEPY AS HELL!!!

ohh my god this GAME

so finally i ended up in whitespace again. do NOT like that omori is completely alone in the world!!! what the FUCK!!!!!!!! I AM SO SCARED AT ALL TIMES. im literally about to go play sum more tho after dinner so i will see what happens. god i jsut......this game is so fucking good it has me by the balls dude. SO glad i decided to play it bruh

anyway thanks for reading all of this if u did, it’s an absolute monster ik and ur a real one

#cass cries #omori #omori spoilers #more like cass goes CRAZY this is so long #also id dint proof read this sorry </3

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ah-yes-paris · 5 years

Text

I Can Love You But I Can't Love Myself

Yeah soooooo my friend gave me this prompt for a mclennon oneshot and I've written... Technically half of it?? I'm not sure if I'll continue it because idk how to really continue it... I mean I know how to continue it but im not sure what other things i should add to it.. Kind of complicated so anyways here's a short mclennon oneshot that I made cause yeah. I have two other oneshots i wanna write so there's a possibility I'll be posting that :)

P. S. This is like my first attempt at writing a mclennon fic.. Ever. So I dont even really know if i have their personalities down correctly.. I apologize if my writing differs from it :/

P.P.S. My friend came up with the title :)

=====

“Christ John… What happened this time?” Paul examined a dark purple bruise on John's left cheekbone, moving his eyes upward to see that he also had cuts near his eyebrow and a black eye on the right side of his face. John wasn't replying and he seemed to be captivated by the posters of Elvis and Chuck Berry that basically painted his wall. Paul frowned a bit and repeated the question.

John rolled his eyes, looking down at the blanket his bruised fingers were playing with. “Nothin’ happened, Paul,” he looked up to meet doe shaped eyes. “It was just some bloke that couldn't keep his mouth shut. The norm.” He looked back down and continued to study the mattress he and Paul sat on, thinking about the words that fake teddy boy wanna-be, John told himself, had said not only a few hours ago.

Just some stupid bloke who couldn't keep his mouth shut.. John repeated to himself. That “stupid bloke” may have approached him with a knowing smirk. That “stupid bloke” may have crossed the line. That “stupid bloke” may have just been so stupid that they decided to question John's sexuality.

Paul's eyes narrowed. “Yer weird behavior is tellin’ me otherwise.” He leaned back on his arms, continuing to study his beaten up friend. John's breath hitched. “Weird behavior? What weird behavior? Why are you still here anyway?,” John leaned back into the pillows before continuing. “Shouldn't you be doing some chores for your da’ like the good little boy you are?”

Paul scoffed, brushing off John's last question. “I dunno, John. You're not talking to me. You're bein’ all… quiet and serious. Did somethin’ else happen with that so called, “stupid bloke”?” He asked, sitting up straight. John felt heat rising to his cheeks. No, John thought. John Lennon never feels embarrassed. Especially about something as stupid as this.

“John?” Paul said. He looked straight at Paul before he felt his cheeks getting warmer. He swallowed, beginning to look at everything that wasn't Paul all over again. He continued to stare at John with confusion and curiosity, as he was starting to sense that there really was something more to the fist fight John had found himself in. The injured teddy would open his mouth to say something, but close it, reconsidering his words.

A sigh could be heard from the long-lashed teen. “If you don't want to tell me, you don't have to I guess,” he began to stand up from his position on the bed. “I can leave if yo-”

“Th-They thought I was…,” Paul froze upon hearing John's voice. “queer.” His words were barely a mumble.

John Lennon? Queer? Paul thought. As in.. He fancies men? The thought of John Lennon being queer was bizzare for McCartney. John always appeared appeared as straight as an arrow- chatting about the fittest girls and which ones they'd have a good snog with.

But thinking of John being attracted to men made Paul's chest tighten. No. He told himself. I thought I'd gotten over this.. So maybe Paul did think about his sexuality as well. Ever since the night John had simply looked up from his guitar, glasses and messy quiff 'n all to ask him what chord he was playing, something was different. To Paul that night, John was the most captivating thing he'd ever laid his eyes on. The way he strummed his instrument, how his eyes were shaped like almonds- his hair looking soft and fixed perfectly was something Paul definitely noted. His heart had been reacting to this oddly, just like now, with a wounded Lennon and a worrisome McCartney sitting on John's bed.

Nothing big though, he claimed that night, just a small infatuation.

“Heh.. Daft thing to say, a-ain't it Macca?” John ended with a small chuckle and Paul sat back down, trying to calm his now racing heart. John had noticed Paul's lack of words and cleared his throat, looking away. “Um.. Well.. I mean,” Paul paused. “Are ya?” The feelings he had been forcing himself to suppress all this time were beginning to arise once more.

John narrowed his eyes at him. “Am I what?” He felt his stomach fill with fear at the question. Paul shifted and he began to regret asking at all. “Uh… queer.,” he answered. “Cause if ya are, I won't judge ya or anythin’.”

The room filled with a tense silence and John couldn't find himself to look at Paul. I ain't queer. John thought. I may have fancied a couple a’ blokes but I'm over it now, right? He thought of Stu and Pete in hopes that he could prove to himself that he just wasn't queer. But thinking of it now, John still found the two just a tad bit attractive. He could even kiss one of them if- 'M not queer for Christ's sake! Why was he having such a difficult time with this? Why couldn't he tell Paul that he just wasn't queer? They were mates- best mates in fact. They tell eachother everything and trust one another dearly.

Trust.

John sighed. “I… 'm not queer but..,” he ran a hand through his hair. “I may have fancied a couple.. Blokes…” he trailed off. Paul's heart was racing at these words. He was finding it harder to breathe knowing that there was some type of possibility, a chance even, that John could feel something for him.

“Oh.” Paul replied, his face turning red. The deafening silence came back and John felt his heart sink. “Jus’... Jus’ forget everything, I'm so-”

“No, no! It's okay. I.. I don't hate ya or anythin’. You're still my best mate and nothing could change that.” Paul smiled a bit to reassure his friend. John felt all the fear and anxiety wash away and he was finally able to crack a smile. “Thanks mate.”

“No problem.” Paul was happy to see John relieved and smiling. “So,” he said. “Who are these blokes you've been fancying, eh?” Paul displayed his words jokingly, with a smile even, but really, he felt anxious to hear the answer. Very, very anxious.

John smiled back. “Ya git..” He trailed off. “Eh, just people like um… Stu, Pete.” Paul felt a strong pang of jealousy impale his chest. What's so special about them? He wanted to ask. They can't even play a damn instrument correctly. Paul hummed. “But.. I'm pretty sure that this is all just some phase. I'll probably get over it by next week.. There's still girls out there waiting for the Great John Lennon to take them out, ya know?” John winked with his good eye and smiled bigger.

It felt as if Paul's chest were filled with stones, pulling him down. A phase? Jealousy spread through him like a wildfire. Stu, Pete, and just “girls”? He felt rage and sadness all at once. Paul swears to himself he's never felt this way before. To feel all of this because of one person. Maybe deep down inside, Paul wanted to be the one John would talk about all the time. He wanted to be the first person John would resort to. He wanted to be his closest mate, his other half. Paul McCartney knew he wanted to do everything and anything with John Lennon, no matter how thick or thin the situation was.

James Paul McCartney wanted to be his soulmate.

He laughed at John's joke, acting as if he hadn't been thinking about what John really meant to him all this time. The moment he saw John laugh along with that adorable smile of his, the pain he felt not only two minutes ago had melted away completely. His heart was skipping beats and it was at this moment that Paul realized the auburn haired ted sitting in front of him made him so happy.

Shit. Paul thought. I'm queer for John Winston Lennon.

#mclennon #°v°#its a oneshot #i might not continue it #i might continue it #i wanna continue it #but my brain is #wjwdhhfmc #anyways yeah #thanks for reading #hope you enjoyed(?)

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bonbonswirl-blog · 5 years

Text

Perfect

ALL THE CHARACTERS BELONG TO @brueklynn I OWN NOTHING. This is like..uhhhh idk?... a 'batim' au idea? I guess? Im Not sure idk..its just that I got the idea from there and Instead of bendy its jokey, but not really exactly what happend there in batim. Plz ignore the bad portrayed scenes XD blondie is a lot OOC here. Enjoy if you only can thx.

It was a typical afternoon, the sunlit clouds drifted across a clear blue sky, fresh air filled the atmosphere swaying the palm trees gently by a breeze. David was at the recording room, a mellifluous melodic singing voice rose high, following the sweet, piping notes produced by the musical instruments around. After such a lilting, everyone toke a break, david sat on a chair, holding the lyrics for the new song in his hands. He saw a shadow approaching him, revealing his only cheerful boss. "Oh hey Mr. Blondie!! How are you in this lovely day!" "Hello david! Just checking on my young talented singer! How is the new song going?" "Its going great! Im just reading the lyrics again now!" "Thats good!...you know david...have you ever thought about how much the children love your jokey voice?" "Oh! Thats intresting...im sure everybody enjoy listening to it!" "Yea! they do....have you ever felt some...connections...to jokey?" "Connections? Mmmm well...I do feel that we both share a good love for the stage and thrilling the audience! along with the love to asssist other people and spread some optimism in the air!" "Thats beautifull!...Have you ever considered before...becoming this star that all those kids appresciate?" "That...looks pretty Mr. Blondie! But what do you mean?" His boss began to equivocally chuckle, it was low but icy, wasnt like his usual gleeful ones that gave an auditory hug, but david overlooked that, remaining unruffled till the answer. "David. Can you come with me for a while?" "Sure thing! But..what about the new song?" "Dont worry! It can be done in another time! now follow me!" They both left the recording room, the animator leading the ginger boy across the studio, while on their little trip to the unknown room they are walking to, david catched from away a sight of henry, tommy and norman talking together until a rueful rob drew near them, starting a conversation. David didnt mean to eavesdrop anyone, but their high voices did reach his ear. "Guys! Have any of you heared ANYthing lately about harriet? I cant find her anywhere! She didnt come to work and she is not at her home! I called her many times but she doesnt reply! Im really so scared..." rob vented, the three told him thag they didnt see her too. David felt sorry for the fellow worker, hoping that harriet is alright and will be back soon. He looked forward, though he only saw blondie back and his wheelchair, he could feel that he is trying to ignore something, he may have heard a little of the talking out there, maybe he feels sad too? But david was in his mind for a bit, wasnt aware of the time until he sensed that blondie stopped moving. This is when he noticed he is in an unrecognizable area he didnt see before, maybe this was a new place that got built recently?, " Here we are david!!" In front of both was a dark long way of stairs, it was only one storey up, just like one of those half open basemant stariecases. David knew not both will be able to clmib this, he was ready to push that wheelchair up, he looked at blondie concerned, whom just returned a grin. "Dont worry about me! I have my own ways for climbing those!" David didnt really get it, but he just let it go and left blondie to use to his own way, watching him in every step making sure he wont be close to any harm.

Dont ask how blondie climbed the stairs, he just did. that was a really narrow hall they were both in, in front of them a wooden door, blondie toke out his keys and opened it, only for both to be greeted by. "Finally!! Where Were ya!!" an angry wallaby yelled, looking as if he lost patience, it seems blondie was late to whatever meeting they should have done earlier, the room wasnt so small, almost looks like a little hallway with a wall at the end. The view was...tensed, it was a dark room with only a little bulb barley lighning it, orange colored light struggling to penetrate the darkness in thin thread rays. It was almost as if candles were the ones giving the slight shine here. Wallaby, paul and murphy were there, standing near the sides of the walls, everyone in a specific place, two at the right wall and one at the left one, only a mile spearting each two. the menacing aura holding david in a tightening grip, why do blondie have such a grisly decorating tatse...He wasnt sure if entering this room is a safe idea. "Guys!! I Brought Our Last Guest!!" Blondie exclaimed in a chirpy tone, closing the door behind himm Last guest? What does he mean? "Can we PLEASE Finish This Now And Go out?" "Come on paul dont be such a killjoy! Enjoy the place!" "If you are telling us to enjoy this creepy atmosphere then I had lost all my faith in you." murphy sneered, clearly not comfortable or trusty with how this 'gathering' is going to end, nobody knows the goal behind it. "Come on David! Here! This Is Your Place!! Stay Still And Dont Move Ok?" Blondie said while putting david on a specific spot on the left wall. "Sure! Wont Move A Shoe!" David obeyed, blondie looked at him, but this time, although he had his usual smile that showed his white glowed teeth spreaded on his face, his eyes had shimmers with some inexplicable spite. "Everything is set~" He whispered this under his breath while walking to one of the corners, nobody heard that one. Three of the invited four toke a look at blondie whereas he was doing something uncanny at that distant corner. David turned at the person in front of him, which was paul. "Oh! hey Mr.Paul!" But being the tedious man he is, paul didnt respone, only focusing on the book on his hand, thats why wallaby seemed as if he was gabbling to himself. The young boy then looked to his right side and saw murphy, still keeping an eye at blondie in a suspicion, despite not understanding a thing from what he was doing, nobody can just fetch someone to a room like this without being not up to something. "So Guys! Why are we here?" "I Dunno david! Mr. Blondie just went to me and told me that I gotta get here cuz he needs me for somethin, well I dont see anything! All I do is just standing on dis here spot not movin a leg!! What about ya paul?" "I dont care I just came here so he can stop nagging me." " I came here after he told me that I can be a 'star' like jokey." "Wait you gonna be a star? Ooh! Thats why we standin on a star!" "What?!" Wallaby words strongly drived murphy attention, making him watch the ground, they all noticed it now, they are standing on 'stars' that are drawn on the floor. David felt inside him a very straied premonisition feeling that was telling him to move, he didnt understand it, why would his guts tell him to move away from a single drawing on the floor? He promised his boss he will stay still there....how could a star drawing hurt anyone? Since whe do drawing harm people? But no matter how much he tries to brush off that feeling, it feels like a stiff weigh was being held on his chest, it made him feel so sick, maybe he just needs to move because his legs hurt him? Yeh yeh thats just it. The cheeky lad toke one step only out of that star shape, he tried to persuad himself its his legs aching and not because of a sixth sense, and that was really something he should be thankful for because. "Guys! I think we gonna be a stars!" "Wallaby...I dont think this star shape is used fo-" "GOODBYE MATES!!"

And with a casted spell and a flash of an eye, everybody was drowned with an unknown colorful sticky liquid that fully covered them, gluing them to the ground. Expect David, who fell down to the ground aspect with a horrible fear that rised behind his eyes from the grisly vision that immediately happend.

Blondie Stood there, watching him in enmity.

Blondie turned around, only to be so bothered by seeing the surviver. "Oh it seems I missed a shot! Im going to fix this~" The words had deserted david, the color quickly drained from his face, a cold wave embalmed him and his mouth ran dry, sweat poured down his body, Heart began to hammer against his chest, every muscle in his body shouted at him to flee. To escpae this imminent threat. He hurried to the door, using every little cell of power left to open it, but no matter how much he quickly moves the handle in fright, the door didnt open, oh yes, blondie locked it. Seeing no hope, he knocked on it so expeditiously and hardly, trying not to make his words stumbled, begging for someone outside to hear him. "HEEEEELLLP!!! HELP ME!!! PLEASE!!! ANYBODY OUT THERE?!?!? PLEASE HELP ME!!" "Come on David, why so nervous?" Blondie snickered from behind him, his voice hinting he is oncoming, his tone ringing in a sick icy way, sending chimes ringing in david ears, but he kept screaming for a rescue, he was not frightened nor afraid, he was beyond such mere nouns, he was going crazy, his boater hat fell from his head, it only reminded of how much he wants his family NOW in this profound situation, he just wanted to go back to them again, stay with his father marley at home and go to beach together or golf or car or wherever his father wants to go, staying in his parents arms was all what he desired, he would never wish anything anymore after this. He could no longer control his hands they were shaking in an odd trembling rhythm, his legs collapsed underneath him, teeth chattering in fear, He slid down the door, bringing his knees up to his chest.

"I-I-I-I-I-I D-D-DONT UNDERSTAND!!!!!!"

"You dont understand? I hated you! Im who created jokey! He was my friend since the childhood! My friend since the start!! But you! I saw every little detail I gifted him in you! You were perfect, perfect for him, more perfect than me! Now that I had a studio of my own, I wanted him to be alive! I reached my wish by the help of you all, by animating and presenting him to all the children around the world, they loved him, just like me! But lately, I didnt feel that I made this dream come true yet...how can a cartoon character offset me of a friend who always stayed by my side that I cant make real! But now I found a second chance, a second chance to revive him, to this reality. Thats it! Thats the chance! By using some souls to bring those stunning characters and that convival cartoony world I created to reality...that was always my biggest dream...and whats a better chance than to have the voice actor whom I influenced the traits for the children 'star' right at my hand~ People will love you david~"

Blondie was right, if david dyed his hair black and wore some cheeks make up, he could exactly like a real life jokey, but who would need a cheap costume when you can bring jokey himself to reality. David recalled the times when he sometimes thought uncle harry may have been a little overprotective of him. He thought his uncle needs to ease a bit, nothing so dangerous will happen for him. Now, he regret thinking this, and wants him to overprotect him forever and ever. Fear became a tangible, living force that crept over him like some hungry beast, immobilizing him and his brain, holding him a captive and took control of his entire body, Shadows and echoes play on his senses warping shapes and sounds. That outlandish substance already reached his legs, his life flashed before his eyes and he ushered his bright unearthly ones shut.

Yeb, this is the angel end.

#brueklynn #blondie rodgers #wallaby wallstone #david angel #murphy hillsborugh

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okyio-archive · 6 years

Photo

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

Hey guys !!! I just wanted to do a little smt smt for y’all (I know it’s like just a doodle (of either u/icon/oc) but I wanted to do smt ?? I can’t make cc / have time to make a grand ol edit so aksdjhf) to show how thankful I am for everyone I’ve met + how I appreciate you guys sm for being super supportive + loving. I didn’t have much time cause I’m going on vacation ( still need to pack haha) + I won’t have access to my game/laptop during the holidays so today was the only free time I had asdjfh. If I had more time, I would have drawn all of you guys buT know that i love each and every one of you because you have made a positive impact in my life and I’m super grateful to have y’all. You matter so much to me and I wish I could give everyone a good ol hug!!! ily + please take care !!

But here’s some ol cheesy ass stuff below (drawings are from l -> r):

@grapfruit :: hONESTLY i dont even need to say anything cause you know how much i love you okay?!?! idk why you stuck w/ me for so long like i’m not even that good of a friend?? like ur super social butterfly + im like a slow fucker at replying but u still stuck w/ me umMM?? legit the v first time u msged me about being from HK i legit fangirled b/c i loved ur sims + style sm and you’re one of the v first frds on here that i really clicked?? like it’s rare for me (even IRL) for me to find ppl im fine w/ but ilysm and i love how we’re super chill tgt + have v similar interests (i mEAN food is #1 priority lets be honest) but I only wish you the best w/ everything in life + i legit care about u sm that i practically adopted u as my sister ok yeah hopefully i can find time to meet up w/ u buT for now ily than ks

@ridgeport :: !!!! margarITA IS2G you’re the best at everything: cc making, story telling, editing okAY you’re the perfect package + i want to thank you for taking the time in doing this + being such a huge part of the community??? i legit can’t imagine this community w/o u?? so thank you for being here + blessing us every day. i hOPE you have a great life cause you deserve everything ok ilysm please have a safe holiday !!!

@chocolat-souffle :: okAY I LOVE HOW WE CLICK SM + we can rant about shit + be open about it + we relate to each other sm?? like our opinions, fashion sense, life in general, food etc?? i’m so thankful that we met on here cause it feels like we would be vvvv good frds if we met irl :’+) ilysm and thNANK YOU again for being so patient w/ me + my slow replies i hope you’re having fun on vacay !!! ilysm okAY

@catplot :: !!!!!! yES U SEE THAT PIXEL THING ON THE CORNER, IT’S OUR FAVOURITE THING AHAHAH bUT I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT WE MAGICALLY FOUND EACH OTHER I S2G IT’S FAITH !!! yOURE 100X BETTER ARTIST THAN ME oKAY and I’m wishing the best okA i hope work isn’t too stressful + youre spending a gol ol jolly time w/ ur loved ones ilysm an d i hope we can continue drawing di!Ck$ tgt for a v long time ily

@meisiu :: i hope you’re doing well w/ ur finals :’+) !! i can’t believe we have sm in common (animal crossing, bujo, sims, canto culture????) like i legit would lOVE to spend more time getting to know you but i just want to rave bout how sweet you are + your builds always amazes me?? i love them sm + once your finals are done, i hope you’ll spend a good time w/ ur loved ones :’+) !! tysm for posting your content everyday !! ily

@whiite-tea :: !!! you’ve been my legit #1 cheerleader since like the beginning. legit you msg me on the daily to make sure + check up if im okay + i’m really thankful for that??! you’re always here supporting me + others + put others first before yourself adsfj yoURE TOO KIND LOVE OKAY?1 remember youre loved + i hope school’s not too stressful :+( !! ilysm !!

@1tens :: yEAH OKAY JES LIKE ILY?? I WANT TO GET TO KNOW U BETTER BUT I KNOW WE’LL BE COOL FRIENDS CAUSE UR SO SWEET + I LOVE UR STYLE SM ??! LIKE U MAKE THE CUTESTS SIMS EVER + UR STYLE + EDITS ARE TO DIE FOR!!!! and you take the time out of your day to comment on like everyone’s post + you’re adorbs okay? im only wishing you the best + tysm for supporting love ilYSM :’+)))

@twikkii :: i drew nissi if you’re okay w/ that :’+) !! but i s2g you’re the cutest ever and my heart is always thinking about you okay?! you make the cutest edits + gameplay pics ever i legit get so excited whenever you post. you’re so sweet + kinda to others & i’m always wishing that you’re doing okay !! ilysm + i’m so thankful i met you- you really taught me things + i appreciate you sm kjadhf have a good holiday love :’+)

@dnasz :: okay honestly everything you post is so cute + aesthetically pleasing?! your builds are amazing (like wanna teach me lOL??! i legit jaw dropped when u post ur most recent ones) + you’re super sweet + kind to others. everyday i look forward in seeing you post cause i know it’ll be amazing :’+) i hope you’ll have a great holiday love !!!

@simsao :: the fact that you match colours so well is inspiring. I’ve always struggled w/ colours + your posts are so unique that it has challenged me to step from my comfort zone + try to explore + play around w/ it more?! so thank you sm for posting + i love your aliens uGH!! your edits are super unique like idk how else to describe them but i love them sm. + your self sim ones atm are my fav omg we legit have sm in common akjsdhf bUT thank you sm for posting + i hope you have a great holiday :’+)

@smubuh :: ABBY!!! okAY i’ve raved about you before but you’re such a sweetheart and a person I really do aspire. You’re kind, hardworking and have a beautiful mind + soul. I rarely look up to anyone but I can safely say you’re one of them !! Thank you for bringing so much to the community - you’ve taught us so much (esp when you have a super busy schedule). I hope you have a great holiday w/ your loved ones + your family :”+) ily !!!

@4fig :: !! i hope you’re doing well w/ ur exams love !! i know i’ve told you so many times but you’re one of the few reasons why i joined this community - your edits are legit my aesthetic ?! every time you post i’m always in aw because you create the most beautiful sims + your editing style is one of my favs. i honestly would love to get to know you better once you’re done w/ everything but you’re really kind + sweet + i only wish you the very best :’+) have a great holiday love !!

@faeflowr :: yeah your edits are my fav okYA?! scratch that EVERYTHING you post is beautiful :’+) your sims, gameplay, edits - they’re all amazing + I love them sm. bUT most importantly you’re so pretty iRl omg?! if i had to choose who’s my fav simblr posts are itll be you cause i love everything you do + your aesthetic is legit exactly what i love aksjdhf ily !! i hope you have a great holiday :+)

@ughplumb :: yEAH ILL FOREVER CALL U UNFPLUMB CAUSE YOU’RE FKING BEAUTIUL I SWEAR U CAN BE A MODEL OK idk why you aren’t like ?? i love how you make ur sims cause i can never make good sims like yours - they’re all beautiful just like you ;’+) aND im excited for you to post but take your time okay ?!? tysm for being here + ily !!! i hope you have a great holiday !!

@mooon-sims :: yeah who do i go to when i need a lookbook?? your styles the best ? i love your new editing style + im so glad youre still here :’+) i know it gets tough esp w/ collage apps + school but im so proud of you okay?1 you’re a strong fighter + im glad you still pull through in posting !!! ily + remember to keep doing you okay?! have a great holiday love :’+)

@blarffy :: !!! okAY YEAH EVERYTHING YOU DO IS PERFECTION AND LIKE EVERY1 CAN BACK ME UP HECK U HAVE LIKE 128736 SPOUCES LINING UP OUTSIDE THE CHAPEL RN bUT thank you sm for posting ?! i know we dont talk that often but youre super sweet (maybe it’s a canadian thing?!? LOOL jokES) but i would love to get to know you better cause youre fking bomb?! thank you for blessing us w/ ur content + i hope you have a great holiday :’+)

@pink-tea :: okAY I MISS YOU AND YOUR POSTS !!! i swear youre so sweet + i love your aesthetic so much ajksdhf buT youre still here always supporting me despite having a super busy life so i thank you for that !! i’m always here supporting you + waiting till you post cause i miss them sm :’+((( i hope youre doing well regardless + remember i always love u !! have a great holiday love!!

@liltofu :: !!! i love lov elove your aesthetic + sims + style so much?! every time you post i get really excited cause you never disappoint? i’m always so jealous of your editing style cause it’s legit my fav thing ever alskdfj + i use like 99% of your recolours cause u pick out the best things to recolour?! bUT i hope youre doing well !! ily + have a great holiday love :’+)

@dust-bubbles :: awh man you’re always here spreading love + i swear youre my lil sunshine :’+) thank you for taking the time out of your day for sendin me love?! like i always smile when you do + i appreciate your unconditional support sm !! i’m wishing you the very best in life cause you deserve it ?! ily + i hope you have a wonderful holiday :’+)

@nolan-sims :: i just want to say thank you so much for the ongoing love + support you give + show to the community. not only are you super sweet + caring but you take the time out of your day in making cc for us?! so thank you for being part of this community - i really appreciate you sm + i only wish good things happen to you + everyone around you :’+) ily + i hope you have a great holiday w/ ur loved ones !!

@ayoshi :: okAY you’re the sweetest little bean ever + your fashion sense is amazing okay ?! i have ALL your cc downloaded so thank you sm for being part of this community + blessing us w/ ur bomb ass cc + edits :’+) i appreciate sm the time + dedication you take out of your day to make stuff for us !! im only wishing you good things + i hope you’ll have a great holiday !!

@obi-uhie :: i WISH I COULD ROCK YOUR CONFIDENCE OKAY ?! you legit inspire me sm + i love how unique your sims are okAY?! keep doing you + i love everything you do :’+) i hope youre having a great holiday love !!

@suspiciouslypinklady :: !! youre so sweet + i love your confidence?! i’m super thankful for the love + support you always give whenever things get tough + i appreciate it sm. it makes things a lot easier + you’re seriously such an angel. i hope you have a great holiday w/ ur loved ones b/c u deserve the v best !!

@viiavi :: okay i just want to say thank you sm for the love + support you give whenever shit hits the fan LOL your kind words + msgs really help me a lot whenver things aren’t the best so I thank you for that. thank you for being so kind, thoughtful + caring to everyone in this community :’+) i really appreciate that sm + i hope you keep doing that !! i hope you have a great holiday !!

@dicoatl :: i swear youre always so kind to others ?! im so sorry you’ve been getting so much negativity these days but i know you’re a super strong person who’s doing their very best + im super proud of you okay!! ive been loving your new edits recently + it really shows youre experimenting a lot + it looks amazing :’+) so thank you for being here okay? have a great holiday !!!

@oakglow :: catherine !! your editing + story telling is amazing?! i mean i can’t write for shit LOL but i love it whenver your post esp knowing you’re busy w/ life. so thank you for that :’+) i hope you + your loved ones a great holiday !!

@simmerjade :: jADE I MISS YOU !!! I HOPE YOU’RE DOING WELL !! you’re one of the v first friends i made here in this community + ik youre super busy rn w/ life but im so glad we’ve met ?! i hope life’s treating you v well + youre not too stressed out from school - i know you can do it :’+) im always here supporting you whatever you do + remember ilysm !!! have a great holiday love !!

@waffle-pxels :: i know we dont talk that often but the times we do youre so kind ?! tysm for being here + supporting me :’+) i really appreciate u sm + i hope youre doing well !! have a great holiday love !!

@simharaa :: i MISS YOU SM OKAY aND I S2G I HOPE YOURE OKAY !! again my heart goes out to you + your family but please take care okay?! you’ve been here since day 1 + i’m super glad we’ve met cause the times we’ve talked i truely treasured sm :’+) i’m loving your edits + im so glad youre back posting again !! i hope you + ur fam a speedy recovery + remember ily !! youre a strong bean !!

@simsluname :: lunA!!! your gifs are amazing + i love how we grew tgt in this community ?? i remember we both started off together + been supporting each other since the v beginning when we joined this community :’+) thank you for being here + blessing us w/ ur gameplay pics + teaching us how to gif ?? like w/o you i wouldn’t have learned ajksdfh so thank you for that & ilysm you’re so cute !!! have a great holiday love !!

@alternacorn-sims :: you’ve been a long time supporter and i’m super thankful for you?! you’re always here liking my stuff + sending positive vibes + love :’+) i hope youre doing well !! please keep doing you + remember that i appreciate you sm :’+) tysm for being here + i hope you have a great holiday w/ ur loved ones!!

@expressgo :: thank you for being so patient w/ me ?!! i’m a super slow replier but we manage to be able to talk + i’m so glad we do?! thank you for reaching out to me at the beginning + i really enjoy talking to you:’+) youre super sweet + we can talk about like everything ?? your cats are adobs + i wish you the best + happy holidays :’+) ily !!

@hazelios :: i seriously have all your cc downloaded in my folder + i appreciate it sm whenever you post content + cc for the community :’+) so thank you for that !! you’re always super kind + sweet whenever we talk and i only wish you the very best !! ily + i hope you have a great holiday !!

@simsthatsparkle :: !!! you’ve been like one of my og supporters for a v long time and i’m super thankful for you being here?! i can’t imagine the love + support i get + idk how else to express my appreciation asjkdfh i only hope you the best + ily !! i hope you have a wonderful holiday love :’+)

@femmesim :: okay you’re a hUGE inspiration to everyone in this community + i’m so thankful that youre here?! your edits + story telling is breath taking + it hits me all the time when you post ?! so thank you sm for creating bomb ass content + telling stories that aren’t often told. please keep doing you!!! i hope you have a great holiday :’+)

#my art #gift for my family #nonsims #queue #o #g #aksjdhf again sorry i couldnt get everyone !! i really wish i could :+(#know that i love you okay?! and i really do mean it #hopefully i can post when im on vacation buT idk kajsdf #so here's smt !!!!#idk im bad at showing my love kajsdhf uagdhfgjla #i wasnt feeling the best yesterday but i want to cheer some of yall up?!

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pop-shocks-remade · 6 years

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Personal

1- How are you? okay

2- Post a picture of yourself. no

3- Do you ever wish you were someone else? all the time babey

4- What is your entire name? ...

5- How old are you? ...

6- Age you get mistaken for: i get mistaken for the 10-15 range

7- Your zodiac/horoscope and if you think it fits your personality: canerr yes

8- What did you do on your last birthday? minions (9from despicable me))

9- What is one thing you would like to accomplish before your next birthday? be more chill

10- What is your hair color? dark brown

11- Have you ever dyed your hair? when i was like 6

12- What is your eye color? greenish blue

13- If you could change your eye color, would you? no

14- Do you wear contacts/glasses? yeah

15- Your opinion about your body and how confortable you are with it: i dont like it

16- Have you ever considered plastic surgery? What would you alter about your body? no

17- Say 8 facts about your body:short,incredibly thin,ugly, bad teeth, long hair,small hands,idrk what else

18- Do you have any tattoos?no

19- Do you have any piercings?no

20- Left or right handed?rgiht

21- What’s your sexual orientation? pan and maybe ace idrk

22- Do you drink? no

23- Do you smoke? no

24- Do you have any pets? yeah

25- Where do you work? i dont have a job

26- Something you are working on right now: PETA post

27- Do you have any “rules” about food? no

28- Where are you from? NEW YORK BABEY

29- What would you say is your best quality? people think im kind

30- What do you think you’re really good at? being depressed

31- What do you think you’re really bad at?everything really

32- What talent do you wish you’d been born with? art

33- Are you a bad person? yeah

34- Are you nice to everyone? i try to be

35- Say 3 facts about your personality: sad,lonely,angry

36- Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you? no

37- What is your ideal bed? Why? soft. comfy!!

38- Did you wake up cranky? no

39- Do you sleep with a stuffed toy? no

40- What do you think about the most? killing myself

41- Share 2 habits: crying, tapping my hands on my computer to music

42- What you want to be when you “get older”? i dont see myself “getting older”

43- What are your career goals? none

44- What is your ideal career? musician or artist, or FBI or NASA

45- Is your life anything like it was two years ago? no

46- Do you replay things that have happened in your head? yeah :(

47- Have you ever had an imaginary friend? im lonely so i rant to fake versions of my friends so maybe

48- Say 10 facts about your room: dirty, swords and blankets all over, i sleep on the floor,i have a garbage can for sprite exclusivley, boxes all over. idrk what else

49- Do you have any phobias? i dont say my fears

50- Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist? no

51- Are you allergic to anything? If so, what? no

52- Ever broken any bones? no

53- Ever come close to death? all the time babey

54- Things you like and dislike about yourself: nothing, everything

55- A random fact about yourself: i find it strange people like me

56- What are three things most people don’t know about you? sexual orientation, mental state, my likes

57- An unknown fact about your life: im not comfortable sharing the only one i can think of

58- Share something about yourself others might think is weird: im a loner

59- Five weird things that you like: idrk

60- Do you have a facebook? If so, would you add the person who sent you this? no

61- Do you have any pictures on your Facebook? no i dont have one

62- Describe yourself in one word/sentence:im not good at these

63- A quote you try to live by: i tell myself not to be like my past self

64- Leave me a compliment: youre probaly nice

Favorites

65- What is your favorite thing to do? talk to friends

66- What’s your favorite color? prurple

67- What’s your favorite band/singer? gorrilaz

68- What’s your favorite movie? good burger

69- What are your favorite books? the last wild series

70- What is your favorite quote and why? none

71- What is your favorite word? none

72- What is your least favorite word? none

73- What is your favorite type of food? spaghetti

74- Your favorite ice cream? vanilla

75- What’s your favorite animal? axolotl

76- Dogs or cats? both

77- Describe your favourite texture: ??

78- What is your favorite flower? none

79- What’s your favourite scent? And on the opposite sex? anything good

80- What is your favorite season? spring or winter

81- What are the top five places you wish you could go before you die? italy,france,new orleans,canada,australia

82- What are four things you can’t live without and why? idrk

83- Which mythological creature are you most like? Why? idk

84- What’s your favorite television show? steven universe

85- Favorite place to shop at? i dont buy stuff

86- Say 2 facts about your favorite things: i use it to talk to my friends and listen to music Family, childhood and places

i cant really answer most of these so instead of blanking it i just delted it

Friends

101- Would you ever smile at a stranger? yeah

102- Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys? both??

103- Who is someone you never tire of? nobody really, i love everyone but i need breaks

104- Do you have someone you can be your complete self around? no

105- Who is your most loyal friend? idk

106- Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to? no

107- If your best friend died, what would you do? be more sad

108- A reason you’ve lied to a friend: didnt wanna hurt the,

109- Have you ever felt replaced? all the time babey

110- Say 5 facts about your bestfriend(s):dont have one

Relationships

cant answer most of these, ask them if you really wanna know ((same goes for childhood and family))

Music, movies and books

175- How often do you listen to music? all the time babey

176- What kind of music you like? chill rock music

177- Do you like to dance? alone yes

178- What was the first concert/show you attended? none

179- Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today? no

180- Share a song that takes you to a certain memory in the past: ...

181- A song that’s been stuck in your head: Room Where it Happens

182- Put your music player on shuffle and write the first ten songs that play:...

183- A book you want to read/have recently read: The Maze Runner

184- Describe your dream library: good books, lots.

185- Last movie you just watched: captain underpants :(

186- Do you like watching what type of movies? horror Situations and crazy things

187- You’re in a tattoo parlor about to get inked. What are you getting done? arm maybe?

189- What’s something you can see yourself going to jail for? weed

190- If you could be any character, from any literary work, who would you choose to be? dave or karkat

191- You’re given $10,000…under one condition: you cannot keep the money for yourself. Who would you give it to?split it to my friends or the poor

192- If you had to go back in time and change one thing, what would it be? undo everything past me did

193- If you were an element on the Periodic Table, which would you be and why? sodium or tellerium, its in the name

194- If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be? 2016

195- You’re an Action Movie Hero. What’s your weapon of choice and the line you scream when defeating your arch enemy? idk

196- If you could design an amusement park ride, what would it be like? ill disclose a fear: amusment parks, i wouldnt design a ride dawg

197- What is the first curse word that comes to mind? is that a thing that happens to people

198- What the last party you went to was… and when the next will be… my birthday, probaly my birthday

199- Halloween costume idea? idk

200- What are you supposed to be doing right now? nothin really dawg

201- Currently wanting to see anyone? yeah

202- Why you follow me? i dont

203- If you met me what would you do? have a panic attack

204- Leave me a ridiculous question: no

205- Leave me a cute message: you hot dawg Opinions and beliefs

206- Is the cup half full or half empty for you right now? its typically always empty

207- Do you believe in fate/destiny? no

208- What you wish for on 11:11? to be happy

209- Do you consider yourself lucky? What’s your good luck charm? no, none

210- Do you believe in aliens or life on other planets? YESYESYES

211- What is your religion, if any? i dont disclose this

212- Would you go against your moral code for money? no

213- What’s more important to you: strength of the body or strength of the mind? mind

214- How important you think education is? p important dawg

215- If you were the president, what would you do? alot homie

216- If you could change one thing in the world, what would you change? stop unreasonable hate

217- Is it the thought that counts? Or is that phrase circumstantial? the thought i guess

218- If you only had 24 hours to live, what would you do? the same as everyday be sad and liosten to musoc

219- Which movie character do you most identify with and why?i dont watch movies

Feelings and Others

220- Are you a procrastinator or do you get things done early? procrastinator

221- Post a photo/draw a picture/write a poem (pick one) of a moment of personal significance: ill just desricbe it: my friend told me someone i wanted to be friend with wanted to be friends with me

222- Say 5 things you love unconditionally: music, HS, my good friends, musicals, art

223- What motivates you in life? people would be upset at me if i killed myself

224- Something that you’re proud of: halexander and roxy fullmetal homestuck follow me

225- Five words/phrases that make you laugh: none

226- Share the story of something that makes you smile: me befrending you guys!!

227- Something you always think “what if…” about: i was dead

228- What was something you used to enjoy, but was ruined for you? What’s the story behind that? my friendships, i learned they were bad people

229- Describe one of the most awkward experiences of your life:every experience is an awkward one

230- Something/someone that you miss:my friends kennedy and ellie

231- Are you over your past? no i still hate it and wanna die because of it

232- What is your saddest memory? all of mine are sad IMO

233- One of the hardest moments in your life: i dont wanan share this

234- Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? everything.

235- What’s something you want to do that you’d be embarrassed to tell other people about? tell people i like anime

236- What was your most embarrassing moment? i had a breakdown in math class

237- Share one of your fears/insecurities: no

238- Something you’re currently worrying about: what if my good friends dont like me

239- Have you done something you regret very much? i cant elaborate this enough everythign i regret

240- If you could take something back that you said or did, what would it be? EVERYTHING EVERYTHING EVERYTHING

241- Does anyone hate you? alot of people i assume

242- Do you hate anyone? yeah

243- Are you good at hiding your feelings? yeah

244- What’s something you hide about your personality? sad

245- How do you approach social situations? anxious

246- Are you a social or an antisocial person? antisocial

247- Are you an introvert or an extrovert?introvert

248- Do you care if people talk badly about you? yeah

249- How do you deal with criticism? accept it

250- How you hope your future will be like? dead or not dead and happy

251- What’s something that scares you about the future? ill learn the people i know dont like me

252- Five intems you lust after:what

253- One thing you’re excited for: talking to my friend

254- Describe the most terrifying/strangest/beautiful dream you’ve ever had: i dont remember dreams

255- Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character? no

256- Who is your celebrity crush? no

257- Make a confession: ive almost killed somebody

#longpost #long post #TW #TW SUCIDE

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amourete-blog1 · 7 years

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(( [throws confetti] MORE LOGS! next up: feelings, with a side of more feelings and animal puns.

tagging: @sugary-empress @caepaecaesurae @hereticalsym69ls @roseredmutant @carnivalsorphans

context: feli is a little less angry bc lil sensed her anger and xanthe just Knows so they cuddled her until she Chilled, then this first message came in

begin log:

sugary-empress I want to talk tomorrow, but I know you don't, so feel free to tell me to fuck off.

aberrantcadenza If you're really fine with me being biased as fuck, sure. I'm stepping back for *your* sake, not mine.

sugary-empress I mean, I guess that makes sense, considering that I'm the one hurt by this kinda stuff. Don't get me wrong, you have a stake, but it isn't like mine.

Why are lowbloods allowed to react violently and horrifically because of their past but I'm not.

aberrantcadenza ... With that topic, yes, I feel okay talking. Do you... want to talk now, or tomorrow?

sugary-empress You seemed upset, I figured it could wait. On the other hand, that just spreads out being upset across multiple nights.

aberrantcadenza I'll live. I always do. My anger issues don't go away, they just get set off by the smallest things, and then I need to rein them in. It's a constant battle and that won't change. Are you prepared to talk now, and do you want to?

sugary-empress I'm always prepared for talking about this kinda shit

aberrantcadenza :33 Well hey, I'm alright with it then. Uh... But first. I'm sorry I kind of lashed out at you. I recognize that was wrong of me - I'm *hoping* you didn't feel it, but the intention was there, and it shouldn't have been. I'm working on not engaging when I know I'm emotionally compromised. I'll do better next time.

sugary-empress I know this next part is gonna sound bitter and emotionally manipulative but it's totally sincere, I swear I'm used to people wanting me to suffer in perpetuity for what I've done, I'm trying not to make it be a big deal

aberrantcadenza I want to say I understand, but I know I don't - that's why we're here. So... I'll take it in stride. You have my word.

sugary-empress Anyways. What's up with reacting like that to a discussion about horrible things. Like, you know what I was thinking about when I posted that, right

aberrantcadenza I don't presume to know anything. I'm not privy to your thoughts.

sugary-empress So you know nothing, but enough for you to believe your commentary was insightful and/or necessary. It was about this troll who's been hurting Cae for something he did for an insignificant fraction of his existence and has regretted ever since, and it was about my matesprit's horrible timeline, where indigos horns are cut off and they're enslaved, and my alternate has been panwashed and enslaved and used as a false moirail for the person in charge. It wasn't a slave being mean to me and hurting my delicate little feelings. It was you people being hurt and ruining people's lives, forever I do that too but everyone knows it's bad why is it even up for debate

aberrantcadenza ... Yeah.

sugary-empress I'm sorry I know it's not you every time, it's Lil, or even Xanthe, but you're here and Lil blocked me

aberrantcadenza Most of why I spoke wasn't even directed at you, which added to why I stopped and stepped back when I caught myself doing it. Should have done that sooner - will next time. It was more directed at Cae. If something is happening to him, no, I wasn't privy to it. All I know is his kismesis is a former slave and personally I find it kind of distressing that he joins a conversation enough to "show support" but not enough to actually make up his mind. No, it's okay. I promise it's fine. These are the kind of discussions I ought to be having if I'm in any way engaging in these topics. Thank you, actually, for that.

sugary-empress Cae is admittedly annoyingly good at playing both sides But having an alternate universe pop up where the dude who's been hassling you had you branded is pretty unsettling He doesn't have any solid social capital anymore, it's not like he's actually still a highblood in practice, he just acts douchey enough that he seems like it

aberrantcadenza Yeah, I'll agree with that wholeheartedly.

sugary-empress Idk I'm protective of him bc he's like the ideal end goal for me lmao

aberrantcadenza :00 That... makes a lot of sense.

sugary-empress Yeah? I usually don't, so that's cool

aberrantcadenza Pff. No, I think you make a lot more sense than people chalk you up to, often... I'm sorry about that.

sugary-empress Mm. It's not a huge deal, all things considered

aberrantcadenza It's really hard to get passed over and get people acting like you don't know what you're talking about, especially if they don't stop to explain or try to understand.

sugary-empress I. Yeah

aberrantcadenza ... I'm one of those "I don't want people to suffer as I have" sort of trolls. So... if you ever want to talk to me, to clarify things like this, I'll try to listen. If it's a bad time I'll let you know.

sugary-empress Me too. Which I know seems questionable But I feel like that too, I'm just bad at identifying suffering correctly. Alphas have weird emotions.

aberrantcadenza I'm trying to believe trolls can be good, despite everything, so I'm taking you at face value. Anyone can see you've made great strides, and I haven't even known you that long.

sugary-empress Thanks, dear *Felide

aberrantcadenza :33 Thank you. I don't mind the affectionate names so much now... If you want to use them, it's fine. Anything except "kitten."

sugary-empress Oh, gross, I wouldn't call you that anyways Reminds me too much of Dualscar and babe

aberrantcadenza G od help us all.

sugary-empress 3XP

aberrantcadenza X33 Thank you. Very much.

sugary-empress I really appreciate you? As a person and a concept and this conversation is good

aberrantcadenza It is! And I'm really glad we had it. And that I was able to like, you know... chill the fuck out without actually hurting anyone. The line between "righteous anger" and "harmful anger" is so thin and I step over it far too often.

sugary-empress Don't we all That's a natural trollish thing But it's good that you know

aberrantcadenza Even for you? :??

sugary-empress Duh??? Especially for me???????

aberrantcadenza :00 ! I didn't know that, catually.

sugary-empress I've been t)(e one pus)(ing to fucking murder t)(e overseer O)( )(ey, quirk's back, cool

aberrantcadenza Idk, that seemed purrety righteous to me. XPP

sugary-empress But I'm not someone w)(o does somefin )(alfway If I feel rig)(teous stuff you know I feel evil stuff

aberrantcadenza "Go hard or go home": Extreme persian.

sugary-empress I wanted to kill Lil for wanting me to abandon Xant)(e, and I got super close to t)(at TRUUUUUU-E

aberrantcadenza :?? Wait what?

sugary-empress I'm sorry, not wanting me to abandon Xant)(e, just wanting to abandon Xant)(e, I can't type

aberrantcadenza Yikes DD: !

sugary-empress )(e decided )(e couldn't )(andle Xant)(e being )(urt and traumatized and so I s)(oal do it alone Fortunately I eventually got )(im to talk to Xant)(e again but I was so fucking mad

aberrantcadenza He said that??

sugary-empress Yea)(, lmao Sorry I forgot not ebberyone knows stuff aboat fins

aberrantcadenza :(( Wow, that's... jeez. When was this? If I might ask.

sugary-empress It was rig)(t after I rescued Xant)(e Idk I guess I can get being overw)(elmed but it sucked at t)(e time since I'd like, never done anyfin good before and suddenly I )(ad an -Enormous Fin and I didn't even get kelp at first I'm just w)(iny, I'm sorry It's w)(at anyone woulda done, I don't get an award, )(a)(a

aberrantcadenza :?? But you weren't saying anything about that. This is... massive, yes. Very much. And if it's something you hadn't any purrsonal experience with, that's even bigger. Like maybe... ten trolls stacked on end, maybe fifteen, if a normal purroblem like this is like... five. That's a weird metafur.

sugary-empress It's a great metap)(or and I glub it

aberrantcadenza ... I was really overwhelmed when I learned about it too. And scared. And I've *dealt* with things like this, this is... basically my life. And his, and all our family. Many of my lovers too. And seeing him like he was... That's fucking scary. I don't blame you at all.

sugary-empress )(ow long after did you even get to sea )(im )(e wouldn't let me contact )(is family until )(e was a lot better

aberrantcadenza I didn't meet him again until a couple purrigees ago. I only learned about it maybe... two weeks or so before we killed her.

sugary-empress Yea)( I usually see )(ow muc)( better )(e is from t)(e first nig)(t I saw t)(em, and I forget )(ow muc)( worse )(e still is compared to before... I'm sorry t)(is )(arpooned

aberrantcadenza It doesn't look like it could be helped. Trolls take and take and take... and it's inevitable, really, at the end of the night. ... But the thought is apurreciated. I'm glad you were able to help him. I don't think he could have been in safpurr grabbers.

sugary-empress 38( Cod, I'm sorry I'm saying feelings at you Wtf w)(o aut)(orized t)(ose??? Illegal

aberrantcadenza Feelings? Disgusting. Illegal, I agree. XPP No, it's good, this is... really good. Thank you.

sugary-empress You're welcome It's fucking midday and I've got a morning meeting, not like, ungodly early morning, but still, I otter sleep I'm glad we glubbed 38)

aberrantcadenza Me too! :DD Good luck with your meetfin!

#ooc post #/#//#///#////#log archives #sugary empress #slavery /#brief mentions of torture #er... allusions i guess? they don't actually talk about it #mind control /#mind+control /#just to be super careful #idk stuff is Fuck #the hell timeline gets mentioned (the one with artemi etc etc)

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booksandchainmail · 5 years

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nanoha vivid liveblog: episode 4

last episode vivio and einhart became friends via a fighting match. will they become closer? will they fight more? only time will tell

once again, vivio clearly has her priorities in order

... to catch up to her, right, obviously this is completely platonic admiration

i would make a joke here, but i actually do just keep following people past my turn if we’re having a good conversation, so

me @my finals

I like how happy fate is to talk to her family

come to think of it, it must be pretty hard to be as far spread as all of these characters end up being. I mean they have video chats and travel isnt hard, but Fate is away from home a lot for work, and her mom and brother are presumably also posted far away, no idea where arf is at this point, and erio and caro have officially left the nest. Add into that Nanoha’s family being on another planet, idk what hayate and the wolkenritter are up to, and no wonder they spend so much time with the nakajimas and the church numbers

okay, that is a gorgeous vacation spot

and if remembering right, its also technically a prison planet, which says good things about mid-childa’s commitment to rehabilitative justice, but weird things about their resource management

i think adopting reformed criminals out to military families is probably a lot cheaper than this

shes back!

I appreciate that wendy gets the standard anime idiot music playing here

no commentary, just some faces

its kinda weird seeing cinque without her eyepatch

okay, i get where youre coming from, but telling a kid youve just met to come along on a multi-day trip with your extended family is a bit suspicious

especially given youre bribing her with... sparring matches and history lessons?

einhart is a nerd

speaking of nerds

It makes a lot of sense that nanoha and fate are really engaged with their daughter’s friends and bring them along on trips etc, given how thin the line between friends and family is in this household

someone in the character design department is having a really good time with nove

einhart.exe has stopped working

vivio just spends a minute cleaning off the couch

she is so determined to make einhart feel welcomed

embarrassing mom!nanoha is good

There are a lot of jokes to be made about vivio being the nanoha and einhart the fate in this situation, but its pretty clear here that fate does see something of herself reflected in how shy and formal and uncertain einhart is being when faced with all this affection, and im glad shes supporting her through all of this

dnd au plz

so by “Subaru and teana have work to finish”, nove meant teana is responsibly finishing up work, while Subaru is having lunch

the continuing saga of subaru just always looking at teana

and of course teana’s device is as overly responsible as she is

… I think they need to find something for lutecia to do

so mom Alpine just auto generates little mood pictures around her i guess

spot which of these people are major characters!

is this a pigeon?

like I said before, fate is looking out for einhart bc the whole family can be pretty overwhelming if youre not ready, and she gets what thats like

are we going to have to explain the whole family tree? because im pretty sure at least some of it is classified

it is both sad and funny that nove has to frame everything in terms of training to get einhart to hang out and have fun with the other kids

punch

the whole moses parting the red sea story would be more entertaining if it involved him kicking the water like this

happy sigh

okay, subaru is actually reinforced so it makes sense shes a lot stronger physically than the others, but nanoha has absolutely no advantage here, and yet theyre the only two still standing

though i guess tea and fate spend a lot of time doing paperwork, and erio and caro just hang out in nature, while meanwhile subaru does rescues full time and nanoha is basically a drill sergeant

there honestly isnt a lot to say about this scene, or the one before it. its just people being happy together!

do we ever get details on einhart’s family situation? bc i dont remember anything, but uhh

this combined with random trips, night fights, and living in a gym room is not particularly promising

awwww

*frantically backpedaling*

nanoha voice: back in my day, we didnt put qualifications on this kinda thing, we just pledged undying love and friendship to people who were trying to kill us and it worked out just fine!

awwwwwwww

#magical girl lyrical nanoha vivid #nanoha vivid #nanoha vivid liveblog #magical girl lyrical nanoha #vivid #mahou shoujo lyrical nanoha #long post

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zhaoly · 6 years

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ok really long post ahead, sorry for mobile users since i dont think the spoiler break works on mobile iirc

i finally finished the main quest for fo4.. um.... was that it?? that was kinda my first reaction lol. ok i have SO many thoughts as i always do when i finish a game.. maybe more for this one tho

so i ended up doing both the minutemen and bos endings because they split relatively late in the story so i just made two separate saves... they were basically the same except i thought following liberty prime was kinda fun lol. i liked watching him pick up a behemoth and then just throwing it to the ground

so now that i’ve like... finished the game.... i guess i can see why people complain that fo4 is more of an fps than an rpg

like.... i’ve dumped a ton of hours into this game, but that’s mostly because i’ve spent a lot of time building settlements lol. besides that, the story does seem to be lacking a bit. i think it definitely had potential, but nothing was really fleshed out that well... like if i try to think back on what i did, i’m like.. ??

maybe part of that is because four main factions was a little ambitious? i just feel like there wasn’t much opportunity to actually get to know each faction and like actually feel like you were involved with them

1) minutemen - i mean, you got a shitton of radiant quests from preston (which drove me crazy very early on and got modded out)... and then what? you claim settlements and that’s about it. reclaiming the castle is as deep as the story gets. besides that all you have is radiant quests

also there were like... zero named characters besides preston who were actually really involved with the minutement. like there was ronnie shaw but she just ends being a merchant later, and i didn’t even get the proper armory quest from her because my game glitched out. so basically she was just a unique merchant for me

and like... who else is there?? there’s the sanctuary crew and some named settlers but none of them are really part of the “minutemen.” so like you didn’t really get to talk to members of the faction and stuff and actually feel like you were immersed in the story. like i know that the story is that you’re rebuilding the minutemen so there’s supposed to be no one but preston, but later on as you claim settlements and expand the minutement and stuff there’s still nothing... no new story, quest, npcs... you have to do some dungeon clearing quests for some of the named settlers but that’s literally it.

i liked their general “for the people” thing but like... they never really expanded on it... they did end up being one of the two factions that i sided with because of their cause but i just think the story (or lack thereof, really) with them was pretty bland

2) railroad - well i was considering joining them very early on cause i do think their cause is decent, i like deacon, and i accidentally spoiled for myself that danse is a synth (i like danse because i mean you know me and my beef)... but then i felt like they were a little too focused on the synths. like that was literally just their entire cause. and i just felt like that was just too narrow.

and you met these characters that you really just.... met and then nothing ever happened later with them! like high rise, mister tims, idk what the point of drummer boy was, etc..

and again there were just a ton of radiant quests... at least they were all finite, but like there was what? helping that one safehouse (forgot the name), mila quests, and pam’s caches. the ticonderoga quest was kinda interesting but i wish there was something more besides “here’s ticonderoga. oh whoops it gets destroyed later. haha!”

3) institute - well i disliked them right off the bat because they were the ones who not only MURDERED MY HUSBAND but also KIDNAPPED AND BRAINWASHED MY CHILD (yes i consider it brainwashing)????? like come on. i take this stuff very personally man. it’s the same reason why i joined the stormcloaks in skyrim (before realizing what a bunch of racist assholes they are but.... i digress) cause i was like WHY tf would i join a group that tried to execute me with absolutely zero cause

so i’m just like why would i join a group that murdered my husband (right in front of my eyes i might add) and kidnapped my child. hello??? like yeah i hated the fact that they gave you a goddamn baby in the first place, but since i had it i was like WELL I AM OUTRAGED THAT THEY DID THIS TO MY CHILD.

then there was the whole deal with them actually taking real people (and presumably murdering them) and replacing them with synth copies. i HATED that a lot and it was a big turnoff on top of all of my personal grievances against them. their elitist attitude towards the commonwealth was annoying as fuck as well as their manufacturing of gen 3 synths for what was basically slave labor. also there were like random conversations that would occur between scientists and synths and the scientists were such assholes.

oooooh and the part where you ask shaun why he decided to let you out of your cryo pod and he’s like “well... i suppose that i just wanted to see what would happen” and i was like BITCH WHAT?????? EXCUSE ME?????? THAT’S YOUR REASON??

like the shaun/father thing was an interesting twist in the story... but it def was not enough to make me want to join the institute. esp with that craphole reason that he gave me for letting me out of the cryo pod. and like the dude is basically a stranger to you, why tf would you just join the institute bc he’s “”””family””””? i suppose they tried to make it a more difficult dilemma by really trying to push your character’s story in the “i’m looking for my son!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” direction before you actually find out what happened to shaun, but i didnt find that a very compelling plot point in the first place.... so it had pretty much no bearing on my decision

also. the synth shaun. he made the synth shaun which is like super weird and a little creepy. like this kid’s never gonna age.... i mean 50 years from now he’s gonna be a 60 y-o in a 10 y-o’s body!!!!!!!! who tf thought that was a good idea?? i mean i’m on the “gen 3 synths are truly sentient” train cause the game basically does nothing to show you otherwise. you have institute scientists telling you that they aren’t, but literally everything in the game shows you that they are. also danse

and then their cause... they say they’re the “best hope for humanity” and stuff but like what are they actually doing to help humanity. the only beneficial thing they did was create gmos like that huge pumpkin (while replacing roger ww in the process which as i mentioned before was something i hated). besides that, wtf are they doing besides hiding away in their blindingly white laboratories experimenting w/ synths??

anyway yeah i hated the institute but i guess in terms of “story” they did a little better than the railroad and minutemen. but they honestly got a helping hand from the fact that shaun was involved with them and a large part of the story early on was looking around for information about shaun and being able to ask npcs about the institute. however once you proceeded past a certain point they also fell into a very boring routine of having a handful of radiant quests available and not much else involving them

4) bos - well.... i def felt like they were super culty when i first went onto the prydwen. and i really dont like their stance on gen 3s and non-feral ghouls. but i do like that theyre out and about clearing the commonwealth of super mutants, ferals, and raiders lol.

i really really hate the whole danse thing tho and how close-minded they are about him :( i did see that there was actually cut content where you could challenge maxson and danse would get his rank back and i kinda wish that they actually implemented that. i dont really want the elder role but i’d like the chance to do something where you could shift the bos’s opinion on gen 3s, even if only slightly... like THAT would be a good story element, come on!

but w/e. i really didnt like them at first but i like their aesthetic compared to everyone else and their general cause (at least theyre not like opening fire on the slog, right... ?) ..

anyway i might just stick with their ending as my “main” playthrough cause afaict they’re not much diff from the minutemen ending except i get the sentinel rank, and you actually have some named people that you can interact with about your choice.

ok im actually really tired of writing this post... i actually have so many more thoughts haha but i dunno if i’ll be able to get them all out because as if on cue i’m getting tired around midnight.. anyway

yeah so the story was eh and i wish it went more in depth. like, even though i wasnt super fond of fnv’s story, i did think it was more immersive and detailed... i think fo4 had a lot of potential but sadly didn’t quite deliver. tbh i think the game couldve gone without the railroad if four factions really did just spread them too thin while in development.

like i think the part of the story with kellogg was good... the whole thing about trying to find the identity of this guy, searching his home, searching for him, looking through his memories, etc was pretty interesting. i liked how we were able to see his backstory and something about him that wasn’t just “dude who murdered my husband.” like that was all good stuff! but the story REALLY deteriorated after that... i mean you just end up having to kill the guy and then he’s just out of the story completely.

oh and like related to that--what was that whole deal with nick speaking in kellogg’s voice briefly after you finish in the memory den??? why would they just throw in a line like that and not expand on it at all???? that bugged me SO MUCH because again there was so much potential there!!! if kellogg had somehow gotten into nick’s mind you could be presented with so many new options. like how do you get him out? can you get him out? who do you go to for help? etc etc etc NOT JUST SOME THROWAWAY LINE THAT ACTUALLY DOES NOTHING AHHH

speaking of which. fo4 seems to do that a LOT. like maybe it’s recency bias bc i really dont remember all the details of fnv to be able to compare, but i feel like fo4 has a ton of little throwaway things that are interesting details but aren’t expanded on at all. like not even a little bit. i think there needs to be a certain balance between details and mini stories... like fo4 dangled SO many of these little details in your face that you just never got to expand on at all.. i love an interesting world where you can discover things that dont really have an impact on the main story or anything but these scraps just drove me crazy.

also there were like... no vaults??? i feel like fnv had a lot more... fo4 has vault 95 for cait (and a kinda boring purpose/story imo). the vault of triggermen where you find nick. the vault for refining human genes. vault 81. and that’s it.. i felt like i spent a lot more time in vaults in fnv? and they had some creepier stories/experiments too

ok like my brain... is really slowing down but i will at least get a few more thoughts down before i go to sleep

SETTLEMENTS. LORD HELP ME. again, a great concept with so much potential but poor execution. i really enjoyed settlements--with mods. vanilla settlements are just so horribly lacking. for one thing not being able to clean up your settlement is just terrible. you really would just have to leave piles of trash, garbage, debris, 200-YEAR-OLD SKELETONS, etc, lying around your settlement!!!!! where you’re supposed to have people living!!

settlers themselves also have some pretty terrible ai. theyre stupid af. their pathing is godawful. i am extremely proud of them when they actually are able to successfully navigate a structure i built because it is such a goddamn struggle for them! like they’re literally coded to take the shortest possible straight line path so i get tons of them walking into walls trying to get to their destination instead of walking around them, going through doorways, using stairs etc (yes theyre all navmeshed)... it’s actually so aggravating

also settlements themselves are incredibly and frustratingly buggy. the resources getting messed up in your pip boy bug is super annoying. there’s a shit ton of other bugs with them that i’m just too tired to list but i’m like ahhh god i feel like i’m playing a beta version of this shit! also what’s up with them spawning on top of buildings in sanctuary?

ok yeah i have a lot of crticisms for the game so it may not seem like i enjoyed it but i actually did. i think the story was decent up until after you finished kellogg’s part, cause after that it just got really boring (which is lame because seriously, the story gets boring after you can start decided which faction/s you want to join??)

but mods def contributed a lot to my enjoyment, esp my settlement mods... like most of my mods are settlement mods lol. so like... if i played vanilla fo4 i do doubt that i’d have enjoyed it as much. i do actually like the fps aspect of it, but i think there are too many places that are overloaded with enemies.. so you’re constantly fighting shit. it gets kind of annoying after a while.

OH THAT JUST REMINDED ME. GUNNERS. another thing that had potential but ended up just being... ??? raiders but fancier??? you could literally switch out all the gunners for raiders and nothing would change. when i first encountered them i was really excited cause i thought it was a new side faction but they’re literally just... raiders. but fancy. it’s disappointing af. there’s no story behind them... you can get into gunners plaza and find some holotapes from the leader and some members but then there’s nothing else! you don’t ever get to find out what the story is behind all of it! again with dangling some details in front of your face and then just never expanding on it at all. ugh gunners were seriously a big disappointment for me.

okay i’m actually done now cause i’m tired and typing this out actually took a lot of time lol. i still have a ton of thoughts but i need to sleep. lame

#just fo4 thoughts #fo4 spoilers ofc #omg i just put this post into word and it's 2.6k words hahah #i just wrote a goddamn essay on this shit.. :\

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