i am alive, despite, despite, despite

1. ocean vuong // 2. maggie rizer // 3. richard siken // 4. natalie shapero // 5. @inescapablee // 6. @candiedspit // 7. @alecstacy // 8. noor hindi // 9. mitski // 10. @sunsetpinks // 11. gentle earth

nimona’s shadow form.

the fact that it did no more damage than cracking sidewalk. the fact that every flame and explosion was caused by the people attacking her. the fact that it let every wound mark it even though she can heal instantly. the fact that it’s always coming apart at the seams. the fact that every time you hear it roar, there’s the sound of a human screaming in agony. the fact that she wailed when she saw the tv screen of children egging on her death. the fact that it is black and white, and there is no red, no more nimona left. the fact that she crawled through fire and pain, slumping with exhaustion and body betraying her, so that she could die. the fact that this was the second time she had summoned it. the fact that the only show of courage she was confronted with in her final moments was people throwing rocks at her. the fact that she lay there, so tired, but still dragged herself up just to end it. the fact that the last time she planned on revealing her heart, it was to the sword point. the fact that out of all the ways to die, she wanted to die by the blade of her first friend, and the first person who taught her hate. as if she wished it had ended all than.

a bit of a vent of my own to be honest;

i hate how all the mogai communities are over taken by endos. I just tried to join a mogai subreddit, I thought it was really cool since it had tons of pronouns flairs and all that. When I was scrolling through I saw a "plural (endo)" flair and I got so pissed off. I admittedly decided to give it the benefit of the doubt and sent in a message to the moderators, asking if they supported endos and also explaining that endos are ableist and how DID is actually caused ect. They went on to claim endos are caused by other disorders (said some shit about it being like a system caused by MADD or something??) And all that, then they also claimed alter race existed, started ranting about how they wanted to kill themselves and all that. They then banned me. For those of you who wish to avoid that subreddit it's r/xenogendersandmore. Do not send hate, just sort of avoid the subreddit or something if you can. (If any of you even use Reddit lol). It's just so frustrating to see endos invading every community and spreading misinformation. I just want to live without seeing my disorder mocked everywhere I go.

Some thoughts

tubbo cutting himself off right before saying he wants to drive q!quackity to suicide...

i remember back when the only reason i wasnt killing myself was because i ordered this and didnt want it to show up at my house after i died

anyway i'll get more pics of me wearing it one day

Me coming to the realization that all of the turtle iterations basically have a body count and honestly- 2003 and or 2012 have the biggest body count and also finding out that in the original mirage comics they were literal cold blooded killers with the intention to kill Shredder and right before he died the turtles offered him to commit seppuku which is apparently the honorable samurai method of suicide and they were trained by Master Splinter exactly to kill him and they showed no mercy and they were completely ruthless, even including Mikey and Donnie who people consider the goofballs and literal angels in every TMNT iteration, which makes TMNT so much more darker and the fact that the turtles were actual killers before being some kind of heroes disturbs me be like:

I'm not kidding btw you can watch Court of source's video on it... My life is broken now...

Longtime fans of TMNT like myself already know this fact.

In the original Mirage comics, the turtles were intended to be very dark and gritty, hell, they kill Shredder in the first issue. Not to mention the IDW comics where Donnie is brutally beaten to death by Bebop and Rocksteady and dies. Eastman and Laird’s intention with TMNT was to take the most ridiculous concept ever and make it as dark and serious as possible. 

Or recently with the entire Last Ronin comic series where all but one turtle is still alive (I’m not gonna say which turtle because that’s a spoiler), and he is on a journey to stop the Foot and avenge his brothers, Casey’s and his father’s death. At one point he even tries to commit suicide because he’s so depressed that he failed and his family is gone. That shit is dark and depressing. 

So anyway, all of this is old news to me XD

'i want season 1 Mike back, he cared about Will, etc etc.' you mean the Mike that was sucidal? Mike at his LOWEST point because his best friend of 7 years had just disappeared without a trace? that WILLINGLY jumped off a cliff with little-to-no hesitation to save Dustins teeth and if El had not saved him, would be dead.

Writing poetry is so hard because it's like is this the most genius thing ive ever Written or is sucide the only acceptable way to apologize for wasting paper on this

very little reasons

Also wild kratts fandom please know to block the user on tiktok @mylittleponynerd aka @Skylairdusk you can click the link of the post from @vazaez , @kaythefloppa and @pilot-kratts-au https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/pilot-kratts-au/716783813542445056 this reblog from @pilot-kratts-au will explain but as someone who used to be friends with her I’ll explain my experience with skylair

⚠️TW: SUC!DE HOMOPHOBIA AND RACISM MENTIONED⚠️

so when I asked her was she okay(btw this was when I was still active on my before-archived account) she said that she was feeling a bit sscidial which I was surprised cause i was worried (but this was when her tumblr was still up at the time and when I still came back into my WK era at the time) but she said that she ruined friendships(which it confused me) so I lied to her saying that I ruined friendships too but really I have a bunch of friends on tumblr and irl aswell but back to the story I tried to convince skylair not to kll herself but she didn’t listen in which I made this post from my old acc at the time I regretted making this post which I made one year ago(which again I regretted making that post I regretted about being her friend)

but what was weird about her twitter posts was about her being the “victim” or smn but she did mention Smn about black people in which it was really racist of her and some homophobia posts that I also saw considering how I already came out as gay but never told skylair since she’s a homophobic so then yesterday as when I saw Vaz’s post I knew about it since I first met her so that was my experience with skylair

Again I’m sorry that this isn’t the regular content that I post like my art or the messed up au aka WK:ANG but I’ll be back to the regular posting today at sometime but for now have a picture of this cat sticking out his tougne

Sorry for the tagging and the explaining again 😅

tw: sucide joke

He did it once and isn't scared of doing it again./j

OP H/unger Games- Night 2

Well, this just took a twist, @kaizokugaris / @enjomo / @waxgentleman and Vivi had decided to take their own lives with their own hands. Maybe the guilt of killing the man who saved him from Marineford weighed on Ace, and then Zoro wanted not to be a pawn. Who can say at this sudden turn of events!

Buggy is getting all the ladies tonight. Marine cuddling with pirates. What will happen next? An alliance?

Looks like @mearizus alliance with Conis was short-lived. Plus @melodysian is having nightmares of almost being killed by Shaka.

If you live in Blackburn with Darwen or close by this is happening tomorrow

i will never understand when people say mike wasn't suicidal in s1