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1427 · 2 months

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When the Levee Breaks (pt. 5)

Daryl Dixon x OFC

Story Summary: The one in which a stripper that used to know Merle and Daryl shows up at the Atlanta camp. Daryl’s feelings are complicated but mostly he hates her, right?

Chapt Setting: The Farm/Woods

Chapt Warnings: pretty explicit drug use (meth), season 2 Daryl, degrading/sexist language (he’s starting to get better lol), SOPHIA CHAPTER (I think that deserves a warning)

Word Count: 2.7k

A/N: Daryl’s POV story. Daryl’s starting to be less of a dick, trying really hard to make it feel organic/make it make sense in the story. Idk. This chapter was really rough to write because… it made me sad. Also have no idea if it even makes sense (the hallucination bit, really hope it does) lol ALSO; I looked up some timeline stuff and i just?? Really thought Daryl was out there for days on his own? But apparently he wasn’t? We’re just gonna say that he is in this story. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I can only do so much when the timeline of TWD is fucking stupid sometimes. (I mean it. Come for me. Idc. Rick was in a coma for 59 days without food or water???!?!!!? Bye)

masterlist

17+ mdni (no smut in this one tho sorry)

Like fiberglass in my veins, it tears through me. Mellow, at first, almost think I should rail more before I can feel myself sweatin’. Different kinda sweat, comin’ from my fuckin’ soul.

Haven’t felt like I was doin’ something ‘wrong’ since I was little. That feeling that ch’ya get when you’re doin’ somethin’ ya know you’re not s’possed to. This ain’t the first time I done spazz, but maybe it’ll be the last. The anxiety about doin’ it goes away the second I feel the devil kick me through my nose to the back of my brain. Even though I know it’s comin’, it always feels like gettin’ skullfucked by satan.

Been out here for a day. I brought Merle’s shit with me because I decided to finally get rid of it somewhere. But I got somethin’ that needs doin’. And anyway, I got years of experience with ice. Not doin’ it. Sometimes doin’ it. Never let Merle know, he’d’ve made some big whoop ‘bout it. And everytime he’d gone and done more than he remembered, he woulda blamed me. Shit though, sometimes it was.

M’not like Merle and Beatle. Ain’t an addict. Can do shit and put it down. Always been able to put it down. Figured other people could too, that they just didn’t wanna. ‘m not sure, but still kinda think that.

Never felt fuckin’ guilty about it before, though. Fuckin’ Beatle. I’unno if it’s cuz I’d be done with her if she did the same shit, or if it’s cuz I know if she knew that I was - she’d be mad at me. Mad I didn’t invite ‘er.

But this shit ain’t for fuckin’ playtime. Only reason ‘m even doin’ it i’so I can find Sophia. So I can stay awake, focus, and get ‘er back. They use ta use this shit in war. War’s the reason methamphetamines even exist. Nazi’s? Hell, every single one of ‘em in WWII. Kamikazi’s loaded up, totally fuckin’ wasted outta their minds on crystal while they bolted ‘em in. Kept ‘em awake, kept ‘em happy, kept ‘em focused on the mission. Tha’s what I gotta do.

I can’t stop lookin’ til I find ‘er. Sophia. ‘m the only one that can, only one that knows how. And anymore, ‘m the only one that seems to give a shit. ‘Sides Carol. And Beatle. She wanted ta come. Told her she’d only slow me down. Distract me. Drawn more geeks. She woulda. Told her I didn’t need food either but she packed me some anyway. Knew I wasn’t gonna be hungry. Knew I was gonna use this dumb shit to help. But whatever.

Doesn’t matter what happens to me, right? My life’s not worth nothin’, not compared to that little girl. Now that her old man’s outta the picture she actually got a chance. Maybe not mucha one, not the way shit is these days. But she got ‘er mom. And ‘er mom can actually be ‘er mom now. Not scared of some piece’a shit prick that finally got what was comin’ to ‘im.

Man fuck that guy.

The trail I’m followin’ disappears so I backtrack to the mangroves where I found her doll and try to find another one.

I start to wonder what kinda old man Beatle had. What kinda mom? Startin’ ta realize I don’t know a damn thing about Beatle. I know she likes drinkin’, she likes laughin’, she likes fuckin’ with me. But…

Beatle keeps surprisin’ me. Not just because she let me hump her face a few days ago, the fact that she liked it, shit I haven’t even had a second to process that. Nah, more cuz she hasn’t brought it up. Hasn’t tried to hold my hand again. Hasn’t been annoyin’ me nearly as much. Not even at all, if ‘m honest.

My brain’s goin’ a million miles a fuckin’ second over Beatle and what happened between us. Not just the other night, but back then. Got questions that need answerin’ but she ain’t here. Try to keep myself occupied with trackin’ but it ain’t like trackin’ takes much thinkin’. Follow every trail I pick up, but none of ‘em lead me to Sophia.

I’d prob’ly start gettin’ really frustrated about this, but that’s what crystals good for. All the dopamine I need, and nothin’s annoyin’. Focus.

✨🏹

Bent branches, wilted leaves, mud impressions, walker guts. Trees and rocks and blood and mud and dirt and greens and browns and reds and blacks. And it’s dark and it’s light and it’s dark. And it smells fuckin’ rotten. Bent branches, wilted leaves, another trail, another dead end, another undead shithead. Bent branches, wilted leaves, mud impressions, Beatle.

How many times did I go into Merle’s bag and take the devils dick up my nose? Cuz Beatle’s standin’ here right in front of me. ‘Cept she’s all done up in makeup and glitter and her pupils are the size of dimes. Little pink crop top, tiniest pair’a daisy dukes I ever seen. ‘n she’s in my face sayin’ the shit I been thinkin’ about her sayin’ since that day she said it.

“I like you, Dar.”

“You like bein’ fucked up more.” I say it like I said it the last time.

“That’s not true! I mean - I like you, Daryl.” She steps closer, tries to put her hand on my cheek before I brush her off. She slumps back a little, turning away. “You like me, too. You said it.”

My hearts in my fuckin’ throat and I’m standin’ there, this can’t be fuckin’ happening. I know is’not but doesn’t make it feel any less real. “Tha’ was before I really knew ya, Beatle.”

Hate that I said that to ‘er. Did I really say that? Cuz maybe that’s how I felt. Hell, maybe that’s how I felt last week. But it ain’t fair. I don’t know her. Still. Now. Don’t know ‘er at all. Thought I did. Thought I understood what kinda girl did those kindsa things. Is that really what I said? Fuck.

She’s still turned away from me, but I walk the half circle around to look at her face. And she’s sobbing. Silently, trying to stay as still as possible. I… I don’t remember this part. Maybe I didn’t see it? Nah, I saw it. Just didn’t care. Didn’t wanna look at ‘er. Didn’t want to hear her lame ass confession. Especially after she’d brought up that I told ‘er I liked ‘er. She sniffles and wipes her face before she pulls a bubble pipe out of the waistband of her shorts and lights the bottom, starts smokin’ it. She asks if I want a hit, like last time.

I go to say no, but the words don’t come out. Instead my hand reaches for it. I look back up and Beatle’s dressed all different. Baggy jeans and a bikini top. That night. Fuck. Shit. I don’t want to relive that night.

“I promise, I won’t tell Merle.” She says, handing me her lighter. And I smoke it. Inhaling the vapor slowly like she had. “You gotta sip at it, like it’s a coffee and you’re drinking the air to see if it’s still too hot. Roll the bowl or it will burn.” I do it the way she says. She’s like ten years younger than me, but she looks at me - talks to me like it don’t matter. Like she don’t see it that way. Guess I don’t either, never really did.

I’d never wanted to smoke it before. But that night I wanted to. With her. Woulda done anything she’d asked that night ‘fore she ruined it. I ruined it. Til it got all fucked up an’ it was never the same again. Not the way I saw her, not the way she looked at me.

I’m goin’ through memories like they’re happening all over again. Feelin’ fuckin’ sick. I don’t wanna remember this.

I hand the pipe back to her and she asks, “How do you feel?”

“Fine.”

“Just fine?” She smiles.

“Good.” I clarify.

“Good.”

Don’t say it. Don’t say it. Don’t say it. “I think I like you, Beatle.”

She laughs too hard, “you think?” I feel myself getting sicker and angry again all at once.

I split in half. One half feelin’ those same feelings I felt. That this conceited fuckin’ bitch really acts like everyone likes her. I hear her words and it sounds like she’s sayin’ ‘well obviously’ - but the other halfa me hears it like a real question. Like she wanted ta know what I meant. I don’t remember how I responded then, but I can hear myself say it, “Self-obsessed cunt.”

Beatle laughs, “Is that what you like about me?”

My misunderstanding continues; Thought she was pickin’ on me. Makin’ funna me. All these years. All this time. Thought she was fuckin’ laughin’ at me. Never told a girl I liked her. Not that I never did like one, just never told ‘em. Not like some teenage fuckin’ confessional. And I do and what? she just laughs.

Shit.

Cuz inside ‘m screaming. Screamin’ at myself ta say somethin’ different. To jus’ tell her. She’s special, she’s exciting, and when she smiles at the shit I say it makes me feel like I’m the only one in the fuckin’ world to her. Tha’s what she wants ta here. Tha’s why she’s askin’.

“Nah. Forget it.” She nods, and I thought she did forget it. She forgot until she brings it up again in the memory I already re-lived.

Tha’s how I was so damn sure she didn’t give a single shit about if I liked her or not. Didn’t bring it up again for months. Didn’t give a single shit about me at all. Felt stupid for ever thinkin’ she might. Just a dumb crush on a dumb girl, and I forgot everything about it. An’ every little thing she did that made me like ‘er ended up as somethin’ else I hated. And every time I saw her after that she was fucked up on somethin’. Meth or booze or weed. Usually all three.

It comes at me like a fuckin’ freight train, her lips crashing into mine, but this time I want it. Don’t wanna stop kissin’ ‘er. Instead my arms move and I push her down to the ground. She’s wearing the crop top again, can tell she’d been cryin’. She’s layin’ there in the rocks lookin’ up at me and I flash back to the living room where this happened, where she’d told me she liked me back. I wanna beat the shit outta myself for makin’ her look like that.

How didn’t I see it?

I did see it. I just didn’t care. Thought I knew what kinda girl did those kinds’a things.

Wonderin’ what kind of old man she had. What kinda boyfriends before she met me. How maybe she’s just as fuckin’ scared’a feelin’ stuff as I am. How maybe it took her months to even get up the courage to tell me after I’d told ‘er never mind and slowly started to hate her. How many’a those drinks were for courage? How many’a those hits were cuz she was nervous?

Shit.

And she’s runnin’ away like she did then. Away from me an’ outta my life until a few weeks ago. I know it ain’t real but I run after her anyway. Screamin’ her name into the open air like maybe somehow I can change it if I can get her to come back. But she’s gone and ‘m still running tryin’ to find her. Screaming for her ‘til my throats hoarse.

‘Til the walkers hear me.

✨🏹

Andrea fuckin’ shot me. What is wrong with this fuckin’ group?

✨🏹

Beatle’s in the bedroom with me but I can’t look at ‘er. Don’t wanna. Feels like she knows what I was doin’ out in them woods without ‘er. Like she can see the dirty shit in my soul and for some reason it makes me ill. Can’t look at ‘er. Knowin’ I hurt ‘er like that all that time ago. Knowin’ it now like I ain’t ever known anything else.

It’s just me ‘n her and she doesn’t try to talk to me. Just lets me lay there hatin’ myself for all of it. Didn’t even find Sophia.

Spent a lot of my days in my life hatin’ myself. Thinkin’ I was good for nothin’. Now ‘m sure of it.

I feel the bed move under the weight of her. She hugs herself around me, and like some pathetic kid I fuckin’ cry. Don’t know if she can tell or not but she tries comforting me anyway. “It’s okay, Dar. You did your best.” Her voice… how could I have ever thought it was annoying? Her bein’ so nice just makes me hate myself more.

“Lea‘me alone, Beatle.” Shakin’ her arm out from around me. She gets off the bed and sits back in the chair she’d been in. God, I fuckin’ hate myself. Wanna scream No, come back. I didn’t mean it.

Still got question’s that need answerin’. This time Beatles right here, and I ain’t got nothin’ to lose. “Why were you naked in Merle’s room?” Grateful that she’s sittin’ behind me. Don’t think I could talk to ‘er ‘bout this stuff if she was lookin’ at me. Right now? If I saw her face? Don’t think I could talk at all.

She laughs. Fuck her stupid fuckin’ laugh. “I still can’t believe you think I fucked around with Merle.”

“Why not? Y’all hung out every other day.” My voice is sharp, feels like she’s laughin’ at me again. Always feels like everyone’s laughin’ at me.

“We all hung out every other day, Dar.”

“Stop callin’ me tha’.”

“I was carpet surfing. Your dumbass brother spilled all the schkag all over the damn place.”

Oh…. But, “Ya didn’t have any clothes on.”

“I never had any clothes on, Daryl. You sure I wasn’t just wearing something ‘slutty’? You know, like you always said I was? Cuz I don’t remember, but I’ve never been naked with Merle. Ever. Sounds fuckin’ gross.”

Oh.

It made sense. Makes so much sense, ‘specially now. She keeps talkin’ an’ ‘m grateful cuz if I tried to say anything else I’d start fuckin’ cryin’ again. “I liked you, man. I…” she stops herself. Wanna beg her to keep goin’ but I can’t.

Instead I ask ‘er the only question I got left, “Why’d ya leave, then? Ya left ‘n ya never came back.”

She’s silent for a long time. “When you and Merle moved, where’d you go?”

She did come back.

“Why’d ya leave, Beatle?” Doesn’t matter where Merle and I went. She’s avoidin’ the question.

“Got sober. After that night… with you. Wanted to get sober. Wanted to…” she don’t say the rest but she don’t need to. I got it. Fuck, my heart can’t take it.

“Cuz I said ya liked gettin’ fucked up more than ya liked me.” It ain’t a question. I know.

“Think it was more the other thing you said.”

Tha’ was before I really knew ya, Beatle. I can still taste the words. “Shouldn’t’a said that to ya.” My voice is barely a whisper.

She gets back up on the bed and puts her arm around me again, this time I don’t shake her away. Her voice, so close to my ear, “I didn’t want to tell you that I came back. I didn’t want you to know that I got sober for you.”

What? “Why not?”

“Wasn’t sure you’d care. And if you did… I didn’t want you to have all the what-ifs in your head that I have in mine.”

She hugs herself into me so tight it’s hard to breathe, and she tells me, “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

I feel guilty, can’t take any of that back. Can’t make any of it better. I don’t deserve this. Her. After all the nasty shit I ever thought about her. After what I did to her the other night. I can’t bring myself to tell her to leave cuz I know she wants to be here. Don’t wanna make her cry again.

So I let her hold me. Even though I don’t fuckin’ deserve it.

#daryl dixon #daryl dixon fanfiction #twd daryl #daryl fanfiction #the walking dead daryl #daryl dixon x oc #daryl dixon imagine

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yallcantread · 1 year

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Before delving into the current drama circulating, I'd like to emphasize that this controversy seems rather pointless, and people are getting upset over nothing. It's important for me to clarify that I have no personal connection with Taylor Swift or Matty Healy. I appreciate both of their artistic work. I am not being compensated by anyone to express my thoughts on this matter.

Who am I? I'm a small artist who creates music. While I have some connections with labels, I'm still in the process of establishing myself. I'm sharing this perspective using a separate account to avoid making it about me. I won't be promoting my music or seeking followers in this context.

The reason I'm addressing this issue is that no one else seems willing to provide context in these situations, not even the so-called "news" applications. TikTok and Twitter have become breeding grounds for misinformation, as people seek attention and likes. It's disheartening to witness how easily words like "Nazi" or "racist" are thrown around simply because someone doesn't approve of the person an artist is dating.

As an artist myself, it's concerning to see how quickly people believe things based on out-of-context 60-second videos or viral and impulsive tweets sourced from TikTok and Twitter. I understand that neither Matty Healy nor Taylor Swift should have to address this situation, and it's unlikely that they will.

This thread aims to offer context and explanations for some of Matty Healy's controversial and "problematic" comments. It includes discussions about the infamous "ghetto gaggers" comment and the recent ice spice comment. Unfortunately, the community on the 1975 subreddit seems unhelpful as they discourage discussions about current events, even when seeking clarity or defending the group. A very useless subreddit with useless mods. Every topic will have sources.

1. “Matty Healy is Islamophobic.”

Let's address the misconception that Matty Healy is Islamophobic. His views on religion are not targeted solely at Islam; he holds an anti-organized religion stance. It is essential to understand that his concerns lie with the principles of organized religions as a whole, including Islam. People often label him as Islamophobic because he retweeted tweets from Ayaan Hirsi Ali, a well-known Somali activist who has left Islam and openly shares her reasons for doing so. Ayaan Hirsi Ali speaks out against various issues that women and young girls face, drawing from her own experiences as a former Muslim woman.

A particular incident that left an impression on me was when Ayaan Hirsi Ali made a short film discussing her departure from Islam and the oppression faced by women. As a result, both she and the director of the film received death threats. Tragically, her friend, the director, was later murdered by an Islamic terrorist. By retweeting the account of this credible and respected woman, Matty Healy was not displaying Islamophobia.

He had tweeted:

“I saw a film about Islam the other night, with people saying things like ‘I’m a Muslim and I’m white’ or ‘I’m a Muslim and I’m an American’ or ‘I’m a Muslim and I'm a patriot.’ You didn't see any ‘I’m a Muslim and I’m gay.’ Or ‘I used to be a Muslim and I'm fine”

And

“Isis are cutting little girls heads off and you want to challenge a non-religious, humanist perspective? I don’t understand the world at all.”

Criticism ensued following these retweets, especially during a time when openly expressing any criticism of Islam was considered unacceptable. Matty Healy received criticism on Twitter for the retweets.

One individual, who was both a Harry Styles fan and a Muslim, expressed disagreement and sought to educate him on Islam. Matty Healy's response, "I resent being 'educated' on religion by a Harry Styles fan account. Not having a go at him obvs, but it's hard to take seriously," should be understood in the context of a young fan displaying bias in favor of her own religion due to her age and limited perspective.

While Matty Healy acknowledged the criticism, it's worth noting that engaging in debates with young individuals on Twitter, particularly those in the age range of 12-22, is not his preference. He rightfully points out that trying to argue with someone who lacks the necessary understanding or context can be unproductive.

In this case, it wasn't about dismissing the person's views solely because they were a fan of Harry Styles, but rather because of the combination of their young age and their inclination to defend their own religious beliefs without considering broader perspectives. It's worth noting that engaging in meaningful discussions on complex topics like religion requires an open mind and a willingness to consider multiple viewpoints.

It's important to acknowledge that many religions have historically exhibited forms of sexism and misogyny.

2. “Kissing fans/underage fans”

Don’t know where this particular rumor started but here we go.

So, in 2022 during a concert a fan who was of age (22!!) had a sign that was like “it’s my birthday be my first kiss” and kept waving the sign. Matty noticed it and kept asking her over and over again that she was of age, had a stage crew member check her ID, asked her if it was okay, and then it happened.

In another incident, he kissed a 24-year-old fan, and various individuals attempted to speak on her behalf, claiming that she felt uncomfortable. She came out and said differently.

Regarding the notion that "kissing a fan is an imbalance of power," it can be argued that this statement is overly simplistic. While it is true that celebrities kissing their fans is not an everyday occurrence, it does happen on occasion. One example is Halsey, who has been involved in such incidents (although there was controversy surrounding one instance where there were allegations of the fan possibly being underage, the veracity of which I cannot confirm). It is important to consider each situation individually rather than making sweeping generalizations about power dynamics in all such cases.

Some individuals criticized him for checking IDs before kissing fans, with one viral tweet implying that his thoroughness in verifying the ages of the fans he invites on stage to kiss suggests he has engaged in sexual activities with underage girls. However, such insinuations are unfounded and unwarranted. It is not unreasonable for him to check IDs as a precautionary measure and ensure that he is engaging with consenting adults. In fact, verifying the age of participants is a responsible and necessary action given the potential legal and ethical implications. Therefore, labeling his actions as weird or inappropriate for checking IDs is unjustified.

3. “Matty Healy is a Nazi”

No, he isn't. This particular criticism appears to be the most unfounded of them all, as if words have lost their meaning. Before addressing it, however, I want to express my dislike for certain fans who deny that he imitated a Nazi salute. It's evident that he did an imitation as a satirical reference to self-identified Nazi, Kanye West. The context is important: during a performance of the socially conscious anthem 'Love It If We Made It,' he made the salute while singing the lyric 'Thank you Kanye, very cool!' which references Trump's infamous tweet thanking Kanye for his endorsement. Matty has discussed this further in his statements.

I’m a history buff. So I know a lot about most history, but mostly fascist history. But let’s talk more about “what/who is a Nazi/what do modern day nazis believe in?”

Nothing that Matty Healy believes in. The modern day Nazi is mostly known as a “Neo-Nazi.” Neo-Nazi literally means “new-Nazi” or “revived Nazi” and it refers to people who have adopted ideologies similar to those first identified with the Nazi Party, which ruled Germany under Hitler between 1933 and 1945. “Nazi” is a contraction of the German words meaning “National Socialism”. Nazis used to be more so known for their opposition to communism and for their mastery in propaganda.

Another controversial way this song was involved in yet another controversy was when it was first mentioned that an innocent black man named George Floyd had died at the hands of a police officer (a Nazi) named Derek Chauvin.

In response to this incident, many celebrities and individuals with platforms spoke out about the situation. In a now-deleted tweet, the singer wrote, 'If you truly believe that 'ALL LIVES MATTER,' you need to stop facilitating the end of black ones.' Healy included a link to the band's song 'Love It if We Made It,' which addresses racism and police brutality through its lyrics.

Many people falsely expressed outrage and insinuated that he did it for 'views' or to 'promote his music.' Firstly, such a claim is preposterous, considering the song was released in 2018, and in 2019 alone, nearly 1,000 people were killed by the police. It is important to note that artists do not primarily generate income from streaming, but rather from touring and selling merchandise. Though I haven't had the chance to tour myself, based on the discussions I've had, it is a significant source of income for artists, covering their expenses. That's precisely why merchandise is sold at concerts. To put it into perspective, artists typically keep 85% of their touring revenue from each venue. If they sell items like shirts, hoodies, vinyls, hats, and more, at an average price of $25, selling 200-500 items would generate $5,000-$12,500 from merchandise sales alone.

If he had intended to profit from the situation, he would have done so through merchandise, using George Floyd's face or name to make money in connection with his lyrics. Sharing a link to his song when an issue arises does not make it about him; it is his way of expressing his thoughts on the crisis. I tend to ramble a bit, but with my music, I attempt to address questions in a more structured manner. I assume that when Matty shared the link, his intention was to convey 'this is how I feel about it,' as people were urging him to speak up.

He subsequently apologized and clarified his intent, stating, 'Sorry I did not link my song in that tweet to make it about me. It's just that the song is literally about this disgusting situation and expresses it more eloquently than I can on Twitter.”

4. Matty Healy watches torture p*rn of black women/C*MTOWN, The Adam Friedland show/ghetto gaggers.

Firstly, if you're not familiar with the podcast Cum Town, it can be summarized as exactly what you'd expect. The episodes of Cum Town usually ran for approximately 60 minutes and were predominantly improvised. The show primarily revolves around a collection of explicit sexual humor and political commentary. Additionally, The Adam Friedland show can be regarded as a spin-off of Cum Town.

According to Wikipedia and feedback from listeners of the podcast, a prevalent theme of the show is centered around crude puns, rhymes, and sexually explicit scenarios, often involving well-known figures like Louis C.K., humorously referred to as "Louis SeemsGay." The show also occasionally incorporates ethnic and racial stereotypes into its comedic repertoire.

The humor of the show is primarily based on dark comedy, often featuring jokes that mock racial stereotypes and those who perpetuate or believe in them. It shares a similar style to that of South Park and many stand-up comedians. However, it's important to note that if this type of humor doesn't resonate with you, it simply may not be your cup of tea. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and personal preferences. Cum Town/The Adam Friedland show are leftist shows. They use vulgarity as a way to make their point, they’re considered “Dirtbag Left.” Click orgins of this Wikipedia page and you’ll see it listed as an example.

On February 9, 2023, Matty Healy appeared as a guest on the Adam Friedland show. Interestingly, this episode gained attention as people were searching for things to criticize Matty Healy for, starting with the Nazi salute controversy. Subsequently, they discovered a podcast episode featuring Matty Healy on TAFS, which they then seized upon.

During a random part of the show, Adam Friedland brought up a story claiming that Matty Healy was caught watching explicit content called Ghetto Gaggers by a person named Olive, who had gone back to retrieve her water bottle. Adam chuckled as he shared the story, mentioning that immediately after hanging out, explicit content played on the tv via airplay mode. Matty responded by questioning the behavior of airplaying pornography and even jokingly calling it psychopathic. The following conversation is a transcript of what was said by who and when. The conversation is color coded. Adam will be red, Matty will be purple and Nick will be green. As I don’t want to keep going “and ____ responds” over and over again.

Adam goes on laughing saying

“30 seconds after the hang just hardcore pornography. I heard that story and the only thing that bothered me was the air playing”

And Matty responds

“what you text me immediately being like I need the info on this story. Like how psychopathic do you have to be to like airplay porn on the TV?”

then Adam goes on and says

“I remember when porn on the phone became a thing and everybody’s like oh this is weird and it’s like no this is what I always wanted to be, i want to be hun hunched over have the phone jammed in my face you know jacking off on my own face”

“Edging for two days”

“Yeah crumpled up”

Nick says “well you’ve been doing porn on the Apple Watch”

Matty sarcastically says “oh no way for real? :O”

“that would be so sick”

“Like images. This is how James Bond jacks off”

“yeah just a yoga class filled with fat black women and one guy just on his phone, one guy jacking off and people were like “are you jacking off to us? and they’re pleasantly surprised yeah and he’s like no there’s women of size on my watch, my Apple Watch and then they say yeah you’re fired from Apple, you’re fired from coming up with that idea”

Well i was there it wasn’t just 30 seconds it was the combination of the fact that was you’re not exaggerating it’s just 30 seconds like you guys were still waiting outside she came back in i was already flustered like i was dressed as guy who was jacking off so i had untucked shirt and i think it literally was ghetto gaggers was on the tv it’s just somebody getting like brutalized and it wasn’t like some cool sceney New York art girl it wasn’t like “oh I’m sorry it doesn’t matter “ (matty says this imitating a rough, dirty person with like rasp) but it was little Olive, who comes in” (matty starts doing a preppy British imitation of Olive) and says “I’m so sorry-“

Adam chimes in with “yeah she’s like britishly apologizing”

And matty goes non chantly “and I’m like yeah it’s fine, it’s fine it’s okay. Well 10 minutes would’ve been fine but 30 seconds was like it was kinda almost like i was worried that was offensive”

“I think when you’re a guy living alone the order of operations is you before you go to sleep you just have to Jack off”

“you said to me, you said to me”

And Adam cuts him off like “sorry I’ve got a story to tell” and he talks about a guy he used to live with(?) who brought home a girl, had dinner, he struck out she got drunk and slept on the couch he went inside his room and started blasting pornography loud hoping she’d hear it and I’m trying to sleep” and the whole group laughs at it.

Then Adam goes to speak about a product for an ad or whatever . And that’s literally it .

(38:40) is the beginning of the conversation.

It seems like the conversation between Matty Healy and Adam Friedland involved sarcasm, but certain individuals deliberately shortened the podcast clip to create a misleading impression. Consequently, people who came across that shortened clip may have started watching it without understanding the context and thus formed misconceptions.

In my personal opinion, it is evident that the story shared during the podcast episode was not genuine. Upon watching the full clip, it becomes clear that the story lacks coherence and does not align with the overall context. It seems to have been created on a whim, similar to other improvised scenes they engage in during the show. Taking the full clip into account and examining the story in its entirety, it becomes apparent that the narrative was not meant to be taken seriously or as an accurate account of events.

When Matty retells the story, he claims that Adam and Nick were waiting outside his trailer while he engaged in the act for precisely 30 seconds. It seems illogical for Adam to text Matty for details if they were already waiting outside the trailer. Additionally, if Matty was indeed watching explicit content and masturbating, it is reasonable to assume that the trailer door would be locked, making it unlikely for others to witness the act.

Overall, it is important to approach this story with skepticism. Believing that Matty watched Ghetto Gaggers solely based on this account seems unfounded and lacks credibility.

I want to clarify that I don’t believe Adam Friedland watches Ghetto Gaggers, either. My understanding of Ghetto Gaggers is similar to his, I believe. Before I explain how I even know of such content, I want to emphasize that I am not a fan of pornography in any form.

On Twitter, there is a prevalent joke or gimmick among popular male accounts, often known for copying and pasting tweets or becoming the target of jokes from their own followers. When these accounts gain viral tweets, it is common for someone to reply with an inappropriate video or picture, seeking a reaction from others. These videos are often extreme and fall into the realm of unethical pornography, deliberately posted to provoke a response.

In response to such replies, the OP hides the video from being directly seen in the replies. Another person, either the OP or a follower, then quote tweets the popular tweet with a message like “DON’T CHECK HIDDEN/DON’T CLICK HIDDEN/DON’T LOOK AT HIDDEN,” intending to entice others to view the hidden content. This is a specific aspect of Twitter culture that might not be familiar if you are not active on the platform.

can provide examples of tweets that employ this gimmick and hide content using GG (Ghetto Gaggers) if needed. A lot of the “DONT CHECK HIDDEN” with ghetto gaggers clips have been deleted or the accounts have been removed so struggling to find any account where the hidden video is that but that’s alright. Just type in “DONT CHECK HIDDEN” on twitter search bar. Also, NSFW for a lot of these examples.

1. Nsfw (look at the replies)

2. hidden reply (the account that posted the hidden comment is notorious for posting such content. I did a quick scroll and already saw black fetish content)

3. Yeah I’m not showing anymore for your sake and mine.

5. “Matty Healy trashes Ice Spice, says racially charged comments at her, said racist things about her made fun of her”

Other part to bring up was the Ice Spice thing? Ice Spice, the rapper isn’t Hawaiian or Asian in any sense, the hosts and Matty know this. Matty didn’t say anything racist about her, the hosts made the joke. I don’t believe people know that Matty Healy is British because the ones in the podcast that even make such remarks are clearly American. The following is a transcript of the conversation:

Matty: “Ice spice, you know who that is?”

Adam: “Nick does know who she is. She’s like one of the spice girls”

Matty: “She’s a rapper from the Spice Girls.”

Adam: “Inuit Spice Girl. Just this chubby Chinese lady.”

Adam: *Mimicking Asian accents* “I rap music.” Do they talk like that?

Matty:” They don’t talk with a Chinese accent.”

Nick: It’s more Hawaiian style.

Adam: *Pops mouth*

Matty: “Yeah, more Hawaiian. Welcome to Hawaii.”

Adam: “Locals only.”

Matty: “Yeah, that’s what Ice Spice is like.”

Nick: “She’s a very attractive woman who released one song, and basically everyone…”

Adam: “So, you slide into her DMs and go, ‘So what are you, a f**king Eskimo?’”

Matty: Yeah, yeah, that’s what I was like, you f**king dumb- yeah.”

That was the extent of the interaction, which was clearly intended as satire. Matty did not make any racist remarks.

It’s worth noting that Adam is known for doing impressions, as mentioned on his Wikipedia page. Mocking accents can be seen as humorous to some people, and the intention behind such humor is often to be offensive. The concept is that the joke would not be funny if it weren’t offensive. However, if you don’t find it funny, that’s okay. If you consider laughing at such corny satirical jokes as racist, then the same argument could be applied to shows like Family Guy, South Park, and others that make fun of certain beliefs. It’s important to recognize that Matty did not participate in the impressions.

In my view, racism goes beyond stereotypical accents of certain groups and involves systemic discrimination. People who grew up during the “your fave is problematic” era on Tumblr may have been influenced in a way that hyper-focuses on superficial issues like hairstyles and tattoos in different languages, while real issues affecting black people and other minorities, such as employment, housing, and food insecurity, are neglected due to factors like bad credit or minor offenses.

It’s crucial to choose our battles wisely and prioritize addressing systemic racism and inequality rather than getting caught up in trivial matters.

Regardless of personal opinions or feelings, it seems likely that they will continue to see each other. There have been previous reports and articles suggesting that they had a romantic history. One article, dated back to 2015, quoted Matty Healy discussing his troubled relationship with the press. It mentioned his connection to Taylor Swift, explaining that although nothing happened between them, the media’s interest in Swift created an unsettling presence for Healy. He expressed his discomfort with being scrutinized and judged by the world of fame.

It’s interesting to observe that people are now acting concerned about their involvement together, while they remained silent when Taylor Swift performed “The City” at one of the 1975 concerts or when Matty Healy assisted her with her album. It’s worth noting that they had a previous relationship as well.

It can be exhausting to witness Matty Healy’s name trending for trivial reasons, and it’s frustrating to see the out-of-context video from the Adam Friedland show circulating repeatedly. Moreover, labeling him as a bigot is far from accurate, as he has shown support for various political causes.

To gain a more comprehensive understanding, I would recommend watching the following videos where he expresses his views on specific political issues: there’s so much more but I CBA to find them but you can

1. Abortion

2. Gay rights/donated to LGBTQ center in England

#matty the 1975 #taylornation #taylor swift #matty healy #the 1975 #ice spice #taylor swift icons #matty Healy icons #taylor and matty #midnights #taylors version #celebrities #music #deuxmoi #important

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moon-andstardust · 7 months

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So I've come across a lot of posts that basically say that the only reason people didn't like Steve's ending was because they didn't want him to be happy/they didn't allow him to be selfish. And the last one riled me up enough to post this.

Disclaimer: I'm not trying to attack anyone's opinion, I'm stating my interpretation of Steve's ending and the reasons why I, personally, didn't like it

My reasons for hating disliking Steve's ending, in no particular order:

1. He wouldn’t fit in

Steve has been out of ice for at least ten years, give or take a few. He has had time to adjust and somewhat get used to his new reality. He has also changed as a person(even if his core character traits remained the same). To say that Steve went through a lot would be an understatement: Chitauri invasion, Ultron, Sokovia accords, the whole Thanos shitshow. Anyone who could've understood these things he left behind.

His loneliness isn't necessarily a new thing either, Steve didn't have all that many friends besides Bucky even in the 19s.

By the time endgame rolls around, I think his trouble with fitting in has less to do with what year he was born in and more with other people's reluctance to see beyond his captain america mask.

He'd be just as out of place in the Past as he was in the Future.

2. Peggy has already lived her life.

It's been made obvious that she lived quite a happy life without Steve even if she mourned his death. Peggy had a husband. She had children. All of her life choices were completely disregarded by Steve when he shoehorned his way back into Peggy's life.

Also, she has been dead for about seven years now. And Steve, whose entire character arc before this movie was about changing and adapting, never giving up despite the trauma he experienced, never came to terms with it? He hadn't even known her all that well before going under the ice.

3. Steve can't back down from a fight if his the only one who can help

It's been established many many times that Steve hardly ever backs down from a fight, he's always trying to help people: "If I see a situation going south I can't ignore it." This guy. This guy proceeded to ignore: His best friend being tortured, experimented on and brainwashed by nazi scientists for seventy years; His other best friend being tortured, experimented on and turned into a child assassin by kgb; A secret nazi organization keen on murdering twenty million people slowly corrupting an organization his girlfriend/wife is trying to build.

I can see Steve retiring because he trusted his friends to do the right thing and protect people when he couldn't, but I can't see Steve turning a blind eye on the aforementioned when he was the only one even aware of them

On top of it all, Bucky's family was still around when Steve came back. Did he look Bucky's grieving family straight in the eyes as he told them that their son, their brother, was dead and never coming back? Did he toast in honor of Bucky with the Howling Commandos all the while knowing where he really was? I'm sorry, but I really can't reconcile this version of Steve with the one depicted in the earlier films.

In conclusion, my dislike for Steve's ending wasn't because I didn't want him to be selfish or happy, it was because his decision was extremely out of character and badly written.

#steve rogers #captain america #captain america the first avenger #captain america the winter soldier #captain america civil war #infinity war #avengers endgame #the avengers #anti endgame #meta #captain america meta #mcu #marvel #marvel cinematic universe #mcu meta

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imposterogers · 1 year

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i maintain the reason they didnt even bother trying to write a scene where steve tells bucky is bc they knew it would make him look like an unredeemable piece of shit for going to play house leaving his heavily traumatized best friend a (who didn't value himself enough to ask steve to stay bc he felt he didnt deserve steve's friendship) alone with absolutely no one in his life, while he fucked off back to a time where said best friend was actively being brutally tortured and forced to kill for a nazi organization

steve rogers: i'm glad you and sam are back. overjoyed. that means my work here is done

bucky: ....what?

steve: well yah. I figured, hey. got some of those pym particles left over. may as well make a pit stop in 1948.... stay for oh, maybe 80 years..... then i'll come back and pass the shield onto sam.

bucky: you're leaving me alone in an unfamiliar world with practically no friends or kin when I just came back from the dead.... for a woman who had her own family and died of old age

steve: wow, I thought this would be harder to explain. but yah. you get it. I knew you would.

bucky: what are you going to do?

steve: sit back, relax. i've been running myself ragged, i deserve some rest right?

bucky: are you going to change anything?

steve: well I mean maybe, but it doesn't really go with the vibe. could save you from being tortured by hydra for 70 years, but it wouldn't be you. it would be an alternate version of you. but then again, built-in best friend!

bucky: what about the original steve in that timeline

steve: he's sleeping under ice in the arctic, pal! its perfect! i'll high tail it out of there when they find his body in 2012

bucky: are you going to help sam with the transition into being cap?

steve: what? no of course not. just going to give him the shield and fuck off. he'll know what to do

bucky: oh

#long post #tried to hit all the reasons the ending was fucked in one lmao #anti endgame

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gameoftomes · 5 months

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All you need to know about Game of Tomes

Game of Tomes is a writing game on Twitch that models itself after NaNoWriMo (an organization with a whole mess of problems involved with not listening to anyone under the board about anything), the former NaNo House Cup (based on the books by famous TERF JK Rowling) run on Twitter (now X), and the Song of Ice and Fire books by George R.R Martin. In was concieved by narcissist SableAradia (also known as Diane Morrison, author of A Few Good Elves, a space opera fantasy that sympathizes with both Nazis and imperialistic powers as things that are bad but formed by flawed people and we wouldn't hate them if just understood them better) and her husband Erin Righ, an actual diagnosed psychopath who occasionally forgets to take his meds and then shouts at people for imagined slights

They are aided in this endeavour by moonflower_writer, someone who seems to have joined a writing community with the sole goal of being its only member, since she has a tendency to whine about people until Sable gets tired of hearing her whine and bans them. She usually is quiet for a week or two until she finds a new target of unacceptable behavior, so arguably this almost works, but not for very long

As long as you stay far, far away from the pillars of the community and founding members, the game is a lot of fun to play. We have a lot of fun storylines we aren't paying people any money to write for us or act in, and getting involved is a oneway ticket to Abuse Town, but we do encourage participation. Particularly if you like being paid in exposure and us getting all the credit and money for something you created after we bullied you into it

Do let us know how we can strip you entirely of any desire to write ever again in your life today!

(this is why you don't stab your social media person in the back, you assholes)

#game of tomes #sabelaradia #erinrigh #moonflower #nanowrimo #nano house cup #george rr martin #game of thrones #song of ice and fire #a few good elves #nazis #imperialism #twitch #twitch streamer #twitch stream

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phoenixstark1708 · 6 months

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the daughter of an archangel

chapter 1

sooo..... this is my backstory in my marvel DR, major trigger warnings, this also crosses over into supernatural later, but i havent even written that yet.

trigger warnings: abuse, torture, blood, death, fucked up timeline, etc.

pairings: later will be sam/dean winchester, and even later will be bucky,

in this, endgame/inf war doesnt happen, i took plenty of creative liberties.

summary: (this is written in first-person) phoenix is a girl who was created by the nazi organization HYDRA, and she meets the winter soldier on a mission, i cant say much more without spoiling future chapters. will try to proofread but no promises.

word count: 2,654/10,649 - that ive written so far.

change of POV's will be indicated

“Get up you stupid pig!” the guard said, in a thick Russian accent, banging the cell door with his truncheon. He shone a flashlight in my eyes, making them burn from the lack of light for the past two days. I stretched out my sore muscles, wincing from the scabbed-over cuts all over my body. After days of no contact with anyone, just me and the cold, dark cell. Somehow being dragged away for training almost feels like a blessing. I stood and allowed him to cuff me. at this point, I know the drill. “so, Angel, how was your weekend?” He asked while holding my shoulder, guiding me out of the cell – the only place I’ve known as home for my whole life – literally. I was born in the damned bullpen. My mother died during birth, I guess having twins really had her beat.

On the way to the hell chamber – sorry, training room - I saw him, I saw Benjamin. For the first time in weeks, I saw my twin. He looked rough. Probably just had a sparring sesh with one of the winter soldiers. he’s always been smaller than me, But there was something different. he seemed especially weak. I haven’t eaten anything in what I assume has been around 4 days. He probably hasn’t either. They were always doing this, trying to weed out the weaker members. Its grim, but I knew he would die soon. It was clear that I was stronger, and if it came down to it, I would kill him without a second thought. After all, that’s how I was trained. I was bred, raised, and trained to be ruthless. And that is the only reason that I am still alive. HYDRA has no room for error.

As I walked into the training room, I saw the winter soldier, long, brunette hair, with a metal arm. The only time ive ever seen him is in cryo-sleep, he looked so peaceful, so harmless. The man standing before me was soemthing different entirely. His eyes were blue as ice, and just as cold. He looked right through me, almost like a drone. “this is her first mission. You will be supervising her.” he hands the man with a metal arm a file containing four pictures of senator james martin, whos been a public neusence for hydra for a while. The winter soldier grabbed me by the arm and dragged me through the door.

It was a quiet drive on the Harley, at the moment, we were just n full assassin gear. My small arms were wrapped around his waist, making him clearly tense up. His metal arm was glinting in the moonlight as we pulled into a nearby parking garage, a birdseye view of the gathering senator martin. “I will stay up here while you go inside. As many casualties as possible. No survivors.” He said gruffly, setting up the rifle. “They won’t let me in. I’m wearing a costume.” I said, my voice gravelly from days of no use. He glanced down at me for the first time, and gazed at me for a moment, before pulling out a T-shirt that had the senators face on it, and a pair of grey sweatpants. “Change into these, keep your weapons concealed until my signal.” I quickly stripped. he turned away, giving me privacy. I was more then used to being watched, so this was surprising. I fixed the too-large clothes, and looked harmless. Instead of looking like an eight-year-old assassin, I looked like a normal kid.

There was something in the winter soldier’s eyes that I didn’t recognise, almost like affection. I walked down the stairs of the parking garage, feeling his eyes on me the whole way. Slowly, I crossed the street, nearly getting hit by a truck that I didn’t know to look for. As I made my way to the entrance of the granite building, I noticed trucks outside, like the kind I saw at my home, - armoured trucks. I, of course thought this was normal. “Careful, there are hostiles in the building. Captain America and the black widow are protecting the target.” His voice came through my earpiece. “I don’t know who they are” I whispered back. “You will. They won’t want to hurt you, use that to your advantage.” And with that, he went radio silent.

As I walked barefoot through the large doors, I spotted a woman in a similar outfit to what I wear, only without the red skull. She spotted me immediately, and I tried to disappear through the crowd. I was unsuccessful. A man in a red, white, and blue uniform grabbed my arm gently, holding a shield in his other hand. “Who are you kid?” He peered down at me “I’m here to see my daddy.” I said, feigning panic. I pulled my arm out of his grasp and ran toward a random man, tugging on his shirt. Shield guy turned away before he could see the man push me away. I stayed by him, trying to convince the people that he was my father. I got a little turned around, when a perverted looking man grabbed my wrist “hey sweetheart. You’re gonna come with me now.” He said, his voice just as weird as him. The man in the jumpsuit put his hand on his shoulder “why dontcha leave the girl alone pal.” He dragged him away.

Just then, his signal came, by shooting the senator in the gut, taking him down. The panic set in immediately. People running around screaming like headless chickens. The man with the metal arm burst through the door, sealing off the only accesable exit. I grabbed the first person I saw, they just happened to be the senators daughter. She couldn’t have been more then seventeen; I snapped her neck. I unfurled my wings and tripped some old man with them. I stabbed him in his corroded artery, a fatal blow. Killing got easier the more I did it.

The fight went on like this for a while, until the red-haired woman pushed me to the ground “stay down kid.” seeing me pinned down, the man i was on the mission with began to make his way over to me. I waved my hand, and the woman went flying, hitting the wall with a thud. Oh yea, something I forgot to mention; I'm not a normal person. In addition to having my DNA spliced with the peregrine falcon, giving me wings, and the ability to fly, I was also experimented on with energy from the soul stone, one of the six infinity stones. Ergo, I had ‘powers’. The winter soldier stared at me, shocked, his brief moment of distraction caused him to get a wooden chair to the head. He shot the dude that hit him.

The man in the flag costume, and the woman ran. Smart. Tactical retreat. I ran to every person I saw, and killed as many as I could. Once we were sure that there were no more targets, the winter soldier grabbed me, and threw me on the motorcycle behind him.

We stopped at a motel that charged by the hour… if that tells you anything. “we will stay here for a while. You need to get clean, I know that the hoses hurt.” he said, a hint of compassion in his voice. Hes right. They used fire hoses to ‘clean up’ whenever any of us got dirty. I walked into the bathroom and stripped. I didn’t close the door, because I assumed I wasn’t allowed to. I didn’t know how to use the shower so I just sort of stared at it, waiting for it to turn on. The man walked in, turned the handle of the shower, and left. I jumped when water started to spurt out of the faucet. I stepped into the water slowly, gauging the temperature before completely immersing myself into it. My muscles involuntarily relaxed at the sensation of the warm water. I began rubbing the dirt off of my limbs when the winter soldier walked in.

He didn’t look at me, but made a damp washcloth and started cleaning his wounds. They were worse then I assumed, and I coudnt help but observe him while washing the rest of the dirt off of my body. I only sustained minor cuts and bruises in the fight, but he had deep lacerations on his face, presumably from the chair. I stepped out of the shower and stood there, a towering three-foot-seven-inches, short for my age. He glanced at me and handed me a towel while dabbing his wounds “whats this for?” I asked “dry yourself. They will notice our absence if were not back soon.” so, I dried myself off, and put on my uniform, running my fingers over the red skull with tentacles, like a squid. I giggled, imaging it wiggling its tentacles.

Bucky

The little girl was looking at her uniform, giggling. For a moment I thought of two young girls in brooklyn. I was a teenager with sisters… what? No, I wasn’t. I am a weapon for hydra. Whats going on? I was steadily bleeding from the prick who hit me with a chair, we needed to get back to base. She suddenly looked up at me, concern evident in her sweet, blue eyes. “are- are you okay? You're bleeding,” she frowned. “Let me help you. I can make people feel better.” I skeptically sat on a bed near where she was standing. She slowly reached over to me; I shied away when her hand got close to my wound, remembering the various punishments I've had over the years. I am a wild animal. I need to be controlled. She looked into my eyes, the child-like glimmer long gone. It's unfair; all children should have that. No. She is not a child; she is a weapon. That’s it- like me. She gently laid her small hand on my head near the cut. All of the sudden her eyes started glowing, a certain gold color I'd never seen before. Her hands began glowing the same, and my head started tingling.

I immediately felt better. I can't explain it, but she somehow lodged herself into my memory, unintentionally. And I knew I would never forget her. She looked at me worried, noting the glazed look in my eyes. “are you alright? I'm sorry if I hurt yo-” I cut her off “My name is Bucky,” I blurted out; I had no idea where that came from. “You need to call me Winter, or ‘the winter soldier’, otherwise they’ll kill us both” she looked at me confused and alarmed “okay… I will” “we need to go back.” so I took her small hand, gently, and led her to the HYDRA-issued motorcycle we came here on. The drive back to base was cold. I could feel it in my bones. I couldn’t help but wish I could help her warm up. I didn’t know what I was feeling, but I knew HYDRA wouldn’t like it. I am a machine. Not a man.

I rode up to the gate “солдат?” soldier? “миссия успешна. приветствую гидру.” mission successful. hail hydra. The gate opened, and we rode into the garage. She was immediately ripped off the back of the bike and dragged away. “you are late. The camera in your suit shows you made a ‘pit stop’. She had an effect on you. You will both be heavily punished for this.” no. I practically jumped off the bike. I grabbed the mans neck and snapped it before being sedated. The last thing I heard before I got knocked out was “well, after we make them watch, we’ll have to wipe him again.” I woke up strapped to a modified autopsy table. Modified so I was reclined enough so that I had a clear view of the girl. And she had a clear view of me. One of the doctors walked in with an array of surgical instruments “doctor- sorry- creator! Thank goodness! I was scared we were taken by the bad people!” the little girls face lit up with relief. The doctor sighed and placed his kit on a surgical tray, the knives clattering against the cold steel. “child, птичий урод.” bird-freak “you have been very bad. And you know what happens to bad children.” he put on surgical gloves, and picked up a Sickle Probe, the device that dentists use. He walked toward her slowly “creator, im sorry! It was a mistake! Please. Im sorry” she cried out. however, she didn’t struggle against the restraints. “it is too late to apologise freak. You will be punished.” “yes sir.” she slumped against the autopsy table, keeping her fear-filled eyes on the doctor. He walked up to her small body, and turned off the magnetic cuff, allowing her arm to fall. The monster grabbed her arm, and stuck the hook of the sickle probe into the inside of her elbow. She began silently crying from the pain, blood slowly dribbling from the wound. He slowly dragged the hook down her arm, toward her wrist, tearing her skin. The blood was flowing heavily now, and he was trying to stifle her cries. After reaching her wrist, he put the probe down and picked up a rusty razorblade.

He moved to her chest, and drug the blade down her sternum, and to her lower stomache. She was crying freely now. “heal yourself.” she did as she was told, her eyes glowing gold, and the wounds shimmering as they healed instantly. He grabbed a klein tool – essentially a broader pliers. He walked to her bare feet, and clamped down on her small toe. He bent it to a sickening angle, causing the bone to snap with a disturbing CRACK. She screamed. He used the wire-clipping part of the klein tool to cut off a patch or skin on her foot. He grabbed a knife, and made slow, deep, and deliberate cuts all over her body. After nearly an hour, he decided hed had enough of that. he only reason she was still alive was because she wasn’t fully human – she couldn’t have been. “heal. Now. Not your foot though. You will deal with that.” she did as she was told. She was exhausted. She collapsed against the table before he shocked her with a set of jumper cables rigged up to a car battery. While watching this, I struggled against the restraints so much, my wrist began to bleed. Every time I screamed for them to let her go, my restraints would get an electrical charge. I was muzzled like a dog. Reminding me that I am no better then one. I am one. She screamed every time he cut her, shocked her, stabbed her, or tore the skin off her flesh. When she screamed, the building would shake. Not figuratively either.

She was clearly more powerful than she could see. She could easily kill him, she could kill everyone in this god forsaken building. HYDRA had control over her mind. But not in the same way as they had mine. They beat her down, made her feel powerless, made her think wrong is right, and right is wrong. I have to get her out of here. The doctor made his way over to me “judging by your reaction, she made an imprint on you. Well, time to forget her!” he said, laughing malevolently. “no! You cant-” I was cut off by a blow to my temple. They dragged me to the Memory Suppressing Machine. A white hot pain ripped through me. I couldn’t remember the mission, but I could remember a girl. A sweet, young girl. I knew I should protect her. As far as they're concerned, I don’t remember a thing. “Желание. Семнадцать. Ржавый. Рассвет. Печь. Девять. Добросердечный. Возвращение на родину. Один. Товарный вагон” my trigger words.

let me know if you wanna be tagged in pt2

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yes-but-theyre-my-dorks · 2 months

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Buzzfeed Unsolved x MCU: The Battle of New York

summary: Shane and Ryan do a Supernatural Unsolved episode on the Battle of New York

rating: PG-13 for language

warnings: none really? language

word count: ~1.6k

a/n: I wrote a fic like this years ago, but unfortunately I deleted that tumblr account back in 2019 and I literally cannot find any record of my post anymore. I couldn’t even find the original copy anywhere on my computer. hope y’all enjoy it! extra info found on the MCU fandom wiki.

Ryan: This week on Buzzfeed Unsolved, we’re covering the Battle of New York, an event that destroyed half of Manhattan in a single afternoon and opened the world’s eyes to the existence of extraterrestrial life. Bet you feel pretty fuckin’ stupid now, huh Shane?

Shane: Now, look here, I am pretty fuckin’ stupid, but I have never said that I don’t believe in aliens.

Ryan: You say it literally every time we do an episode on aliens.

Shane: No, I’ve said that I don’t believe aliens have ever interacted with humans before.

Ryan: All I’m hearing are excuses.

Shane: Who’s pretty fuckin’ stupid now?

Ryan: Still you.

Shane: Damn, when you’re right you’re right.

Ryan: Can I get into the case now?

Shane: Go ahead, open your file with a single piece of paper in it and tell us all about it.

Ryan: Let’s get into it.

On May 1st, 2012, in a secret, underground facility in the middle of the Mojave, experiments were being performed on an object called “the Tesseract.” The scientists performing the experiment were employed by the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division, otherwise known as “S.H.I.E.L.D.”

Shane: Wait a second, say that name again?

Ryan: S.H.I.E.L.D.?

Shane: No no no, the acronym.

Ryan: Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division.

Shane: (wheeze) That’s the stupidest name I’ve ever heard.

Ryan: Yeah, it does seem like they’re trying too hard.

Shane: Someone really wanted their organization to spell out “SHIELD.” What a bunch of nerds.

Ryan: The Tesseract had been used during World War II by Nazi scientists Johann Schmidt and Arnim Zola to create energy weapons that were capable of completely pulverizing its targets. It was briefly lost when Captain Steve Rogers, also known as Captain America, hijacked a German bomber called the Valkyrie that was on course to destroy multiple major cities across the United States. He was unable to change course, so instead he attempted to fly the Valkyrie into the ocean and ended up landing in an ice field in Greenland. The Tesseract was found by Howard Stark not long after, although Captain Rogers and the Valkyrie were not found until about 70 years later.

The Tesseract changed owners several times, but by 2012 it was in S.H.I.E.L.D.’s possession during Project P.E.G.A.S.U.S., which was an acronym for “Potential Energy Group - Alternate Sources - United States.”

Shane: Oh you’ve got to be kidding me.

Ryan: (wheeze)

Shane: Fuckin’ tryhards.

Ryan: On May 1, 2012, there was an incident involving the Tesseract. The facility was breached by Loki Laufeyson, an alien born on Uranus and raised on Saturn. Thanks to Natasha Romanoff leaking all of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s data in 2014, all security footage from that night is available to the public. While they were experimenting on the Tesseract, it opened a portal through which Loki was able to come to Earth. He attacked and killed several agents using a staff that looked to be powered by something similar to the Tesseract. He used the same staff to subdue several agents and scientists through mind control. He even used it on Clint Barton, also known as Hawkeye: an actual Avenger!

Shane: Now hold up, mind control? On an Avenger? No way.

Ryan: I’m just telling you the facts.

Shane: There is no way an Avenger just let him waltz up and take control of his mind!

Ryan: Well actually, Loki is so powerful that he shows up in Norse mythology as a god, so really an Avenger got mind controlled by a god.

Shane: But we know he’s not a god now, he’s just an alien.

Ryan: The footage doesn’t lie!

Shane: This is bullshit.

Ryan: One of the side effects of this kind of mind control is that it turns the victim’s eyes bright blue, and according to footage we have from this event and images of Loki later on, his eyes are significantly bluer during the battle and the events leading up to it, so-

Shane: Ohhhhh, so he could have been mind-controlled, too!

Ryan: Yeah, exactly.

Shane: That tickles me very much!

Ryan: Ew, I… I didn’t like that.

Shane: That is very tickling indeed!

Ryan: This is a weird turn of phrase, even for you.

Shane: I will say, it makes the whole “mind controlling an Avenger” thing way more believable.

Ryan: Loki successfully stole the Tesseract, and the entire facility collapsed on itself, apparently due to the sheer power of the portal they had opened. Footage shows Loki using his staff to shoot oncoming S.H.I.E.L.D. agents and completely pulverizing them. He even shot down a helicopter!

S.H.I.E.L.D. used this as an opportunity to reactivate the Avengers Initiative, a project focused on bringing together people of special abilities to protect the Earth. The Avengers at the time were made up of Tony Stark, also known as Iron Man, Captain America, Bruce Banner, also known as the Hulk, Thor, another alien from Saturn who is seen in Norse mythology as the “god of thunder,” Agent Natasha Romanoff, also known as the Black Widow, and Hawkeye.

Shane: I thought Hawkeye got mind controlled?

Ryan: Well they got him back before the battle.

Shane: Do we know how?

Ryan: According to Agent Romanoff, she hit him really hard in the head and he was fine.

Shane: (wheeze) Is that really what she said?

Ryan: Yeah, they were fighting on one of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s helicarriers and she slammed his head against a railing and then knocked him out for good measure.

Shane: What a badass!

Ryan: Oh yeah, the Black Widow is definitely one of the most underrated heroes in history.

Loki spent a brief time in captivity on S.H.I.E.L.D.’s helicarrier, but was rescued by some of his mind-controlled goons who launched a fairly severe attack on the aircraft. Thor and the Hulk fell off the carrier, and several S.H.I.E.L.D. agents were killed, including a high-ranking agent named Phil Coulson.

On May 4th, famous astrophysicist Erik Selvig (who was also under mind control) was caught building a portal using the Tesseract on top of Stark Tower in downtown Manhattan. After some failed negotiation between Tony Stark and Loki inside the tower, the portal was opened and an alien army known as the Chitauri was released on New York. The Chitauri are a sentient species of cybernetically enhanced beings that operate under a hive mind intelligence. They use another species called Leviathans for troop transport and combat, which are extremely augmented using armor, anti-gravity devices, and even laser cannons.

The battle itself lasted two to three hours. Most of Manhattan was destroyed, and the World Security Council actually authorized the release of a nuclear missile to try and end the battle. As the missile headed for New York, Tony Stark intercepted it and redirected it into the portal. The missile hit the Chitauri Command Center, destroying the hive mind and deactivating every single soldier left fighting. Stark’s suit lost power as he let the nuke go, and he fell back to Earth through the portal just as Agent Romanoff closed the portal using Loki’s staff. As he was falling, reports say that he was caught in mid-air by the Hulk and brought safely back to ground level.

Shane: How the hell is New York still standing after that?

Ryan: Well, S.H.I.E.L.D. had a subsidiary team called “Damage Control,” and after the battle it was transferred to the federal government and is now the U.S. Department of Damage Control.

Shane: What, they couldn’t come up with a fun acronym for that?

Ryan: I guess not, whoever was coming up with cool names was off that day.

Shane: Damn, right when they needed him the most.

Ryan: Honestly, that’s the real tragedy of this whole story.

Shane: So is that the whole case?

Ryan: That’s pretty much it.

Shane: I remember where I was when I saw this on TV, actually.

Ryan: Oh yeah?

Shane: Yeah, I was watching TV at home and flippin’ through the channels and when I flipped on the news I thought I was watching a shitty alien movie.

Ryan: (wheeze) You didn’t realize this was a real thing that happened?

Shane: No, not until I saw it on Twitter like an hour after it happened.

Ryan: Oh my God, dude! You really are fuckin’ stupid.

Shane: I never said I wasn’t.

Ryan: Even though we now know the facts of the Battle of New York, a lot of questions remain unanswered. If Loki was being controlled, who was controlling him? Where are he and Thor now? Does this open the door for future alien attacks, or alien alliances? What else is out there? As of this episode being filmed in April of 2015, we’re still waiting to see what the Avengers do next, but until then, all of these questions remain… UNSOLVED.

So who’s your favorite Avenger, Shane?

Shane: Hmm, that’s a toughie.

Ryan: Mine is Captain America, no contest.

Shane: Oh yeah?

Ryan: Hell yeah, dude. Killing Nazis and fighting aliens and surviving 70 years in ice? That’s badass.

Shane: So… no cap?

Ryan: *disappointed silence*

Shane: Get it, because-

Ryan: No I got the joke.

Shane: Well, you’re not laughing, so I thought-

Ryan: Well it wasn’t funny.

Shane: Goodness, Ryan, you don’t have to hurt my feelings like that.

Ryan: I love hurting your feelings, actually.

Shane: Hm. This is awkward, then.

-----

please lmk if I should write more of these, I had a lot of fun with this one and I haven’t written stuff like this in like 5 years so I feel a little rusty lol. hope you enjoyed and if anyone wants to give me suggestions on more stuff to write please do!

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redtail-lol · 1 year

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It's autism acceptance month which means it's time to light it up #redinstead and listen to autistic voices! If you're an allistic ally or especially a parent or guardian of a child with autism, here are some things to know:

Autism speaks is an organization that has hurt many more people than it helps. We really don't like it. If you've been a well meaning donor and participant of Light it up Blue in the past, make this month the month you change that. We will forgive you for not knowing.

High and low functioning labels are disliked by the community, especially people who are considered "low functioning." Everyone can function when their needs are met. We seek to replace high functioning with low support needs and low functioning with high support needs.

You do not know your child best. Your child knows your child best. Speaking about being a parent of an autistic child is okay but don't ever use that to speak over autistic people.

Take your kids out of ABA if they're in ABA. I don't care if they behave better. They're not having the roots of the problem fixed, they're just being rewarded for suppressing their symptoms. If you really want to healthily deal with problems involving meltdowns and self harming stims (hitting themselves, banging their head on things, the like) find what's upsetting your kid that makes them do that and avoid it. If your kid doesn't speak, speaking is painful. Don't force them. Learn ASL with them, most nonverbal autistic kids can learn ASL. Other symptoms ABA is "fixing" do not need to be "fixed." People who support ABA may say it's only old ABA that's bad, and there are good results, but even without punishments, ABA just forces autistic people to mask and appear neurotypical in a way that causes them immense distress. Don't listen to the people who make money off of it. There is no good ABA. It was created by the same piece of shit that created gay conversion therapy and has the same principle: suppress your feelings and pretend to be straight even if it makes you uncomfortable and unhappy.

If your autistic kid who is NOT in ABA and never has been is not having meltdowns or hurting themselves: they're happy. You've succeeded as a parent in meeting their needs.

Picky eating can be solved by not feeding your child things they do not like. Especially older kids, they know what they do and don't like. If your child, autistic or allistic, has consistent dislikes, then stop feeding them the foods they dislike. Food texture aversion is a real sensory sensitivity and certain flavors and textures don't go together. Whatever the reason is, don't feed any child things they don't want to eat after they've passed the phase of only eating ice cream or only white food turned no white food (I had that phase.) They know what they enjoy.

When talking about the struggles of caring for moderate to high support needs autistic people, be mindful of the struggles they're going through too. It'll always be worse for them. Don't demean us, and when you talk about the struggles, add in "I know it must be much harder for them, though, and it's worth it to make my kid happy and comfortable."

Aspergers is an outdated term named after a nazi. Some autistic people may identify as people with aspergers, but avoid using the term unless you know someone considers themselves that way.

Most autistic people use identity first language. Other people with autism use person first language. Some of us don't care.

While some autistic people do want to have a cure, donating to cure research will either be wasted or, in the event one is found, will lead to cures forced onto children who cannot decide whether or not they want to be cured.

A lot of this is sentiment shared by others! Please listen to other autistics, especially higher support needs autistics!!

Oh and medical papers stop assuming the reader is a parent and can't be an autistic person looking for their own symptoms challenge. Especially when it's centered on autistic teens.

#autism #autism awareness #autism acceptance #autism awareness month #autism acceptance month #light it up red #light it up gold #light it up blue #just doing blue for reach #red instead #anti autism speaks #autism speaks #autism mom #that tag is also for reach I want parents to see this

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kvetchlandia · 1 year

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Uncredited Photographer Soviet Spy Leopold Trepper (Leib Domb), Paris c.1938

Leopold Trepper was the leader of the main Soviet espionage network in Nazi-occupied Europe during World War II. His network was known as the Red Orchestra, the name it was given by the Gestapo as they tried to hunt it down. Trepper, called the “Big Chief,” coordinated distinct groups in several occupied countries. The network was quite successful, being one of two Soviet espionage networks that provided Stalin with the date for the Nazi invasion of the Soviet Union, the locations for the original strikes and even the size of the armies that would take part (the other being the network operated by Richard Sorge in Tokyo). Needless to say, the information provided to him was ignored by Stalin, and history shows the horrors that resulted from that. Trepper, by origin a Polish Jew, had fled to British mandatory Palestine to escape the Polish police, who were hunting him on account of his militant activities. There he joined the Palestine Communist Party and was a founding member of the Ihud (Unity) group within it, a section of the Party dedicated to building unity between Jewish and Arab workers. He was forced to flee Palestine after the British issued a warrant for his arrest on account of his illegal organizing activities. It was after returning to Europe that he eventually made his way to the Soviet Union and joined Soviet Military Intelligence (the GRU), which assigned him to Western Europe and to establish a network of reserve agents who could be activated when the war the GRU knew was coming finally began. The network established by Trepper was multi-national, but it included many Jews who had been comrades either from Poland or from the Ihud group and who, like him, had also been forced to flee. This became important after the war because, even though he survived capture by the Nazis, he was arrested by Stalin upon his return to the USSR and tossed into the Gulag. The reasons for his arrest are unclear, but the two main accusations against him were that he’d “surrounded himself with Jews” in his espionage network, and he’d been initially recruited to the GRU by General Jan Berzin, a man who had been a member of the Central Committee of the Bolshevik Party at the time of the Revolution and afterwards was a long-time Soviet diplomat before moving into military intelligence, and who had fallen out of favor with Stalin during the period of the Great Purges and had been executed. Trepper spent 10 years in gulag prisons, including some time spent in the same cell as the Nazi officer who had arrested him.

“But who did protest (the degeneration of the Revolution that took place under Stalin)…The Trotskyites can lay claim to this honour. Following the example of their leader, who was rewarded for his obstinacy with the end of an ice-axe, they fought Stalinism to the death, and they were the only ones who did. By the time of the great purges, they could only shout their rebellion in the freezing wastelands where they had been dragged in order to be exterminated. In the camps, their conduct was admirable. But their voices were lost in the tundra.

“Today, the Trotskyites have a right to accuse those who once howled along with the wolves. Let them not forget, however, that they had the enormous advantage over us of having a coherent political system capable of replacing Stalinism. They had something to cling to in the midst of their profound distress at seeing the revolution betrayed.”

—Leopold Trepper, “The Great Game” 1977

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mariacallous · 1 year

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(New York Jewish Week) — As right-wing protestors descend upon Drag Story Hour events across New York, they have frequently been met by a loosely connected movement of counter protestors that includes many progressive Jewish groups.

Since September, right-wing activists have routinely protested Drag Story Hour events, where a person dressed in drag reads to children. The aim of these story times, according to the founder of the Drag Story Hour New York chapter, is to promote literacy while giving children positive queer role models.

At the Queens Public Library in Jackson Heights on Dec. 29, at least five members of the Proud Boys, a far-right extremist group, showed up to harass people attending a story session. Those protestors were met by hundreds of activists from the other side, many of whom are Jewish. They included members of Jews For Racial and Economic Justice, Outlive Them, United Against Racism and Fascism and other other organizations.

“We’re out here,” said Sharona Farber, 32, who is a member of the Jewish anti-fascist group Outlive Them, which formed in response to the 2018 Pittsburgh Tree of Life shooting and has since become involved with other forms of activism across New York such as fighting for the homeless and against U.S. Immigration Customs and Enforcement (ICE) raids.

Those protesting Drag Story Hours claim the events are harmful to children, calling parents who are bringing their kids to the event “groomers” and “pedophiles” to their face. Demonstrators have breached library doors in the city on three separate occasions. They have also vandalized the homes and offices, using anti-LGBTQ slurs, of three New York City Council members who have shown support for Drag Story Hour.

Protestors have targeted 10 Drag Story Hour events in New York, according to independent reporter Talia Jane, who has been documenting the group on Twitter since September.

This group of protestors, which calls itself the Guardians of Divinity, started as an anti-vaccine movement in the pandemic. “We have lost our jobs and been arrested for protesting this madness,” a statement on the group’s Twitter said. “Now they are coming for your kids with programs like Drag Queen Story Hour, where they steal your tax money to pay grown men in dresses to read gender questioning books.”

Farber told the New York Jewish Week that last Thursday there were at least 300 people defending Drag Story Hour at the Queens library branch, from all ages and backgrounds. Farber added that “there are a lot of Jews” doing the behind-the-scenes work, the organizing and the outreach that goes into “pulling these defenses off.”

“Jews are so heavily represented in the left,” Farber said. “There’s been a reinfusion of energy on what people call the Jewish Left. There are people getting self organized into small groups that do take political action into what they believe is needed to create a better world.”

Sophie Ellman-Golan, communications director for Jews for Racial & Economic Justice, another prominent activist group that’s defending Drag Story Hour, told the New York Jewish Week that it’s important “to drown out fascists and neo-Nazis” by showing up in solidarity.

“When there’s a threat of neo-Nazi violence against synagogues, the idea is not that we should stop going to synagogue,” Ellman-Golan said. “We actually deserve to be able to gather and pray or engage in whatever culture and ritual we want to. We believe that a community of diverse New Yorkers coming together to ensure that can happen, that’s the best way to do that, with community defense.”

She described the scene as “two sides”: one that included colorful rainbow signs, glitter and Disney songs, while the other side included a neo-Nazi giving a “Heil Hitler” salute while talking about “a future for white children.”

“It’s a violent attempt to stamp out trans people,” Ellman-Golan said, adding that there is “a very clear link between antisemitism and transphobia that is increasing at a terrifying rate.”

Ariela Rothstein, a queer Jewish parent who took her 6-month-old child to the Jackson Heights Drag Story Hour last Thursday, told the New York Jewish Week that these shouldn’t be controversial events. “It’s people sharing stories with kids,” Rothstein said. “There were people shouting all kinds of names. Things that are really disgusting, that I don’t really want to repeat or put in print. All we wanted to do was go into the library and hear some stories for our child.”

Rothstein’s partner, Lauraberth Lima, told the New York Jewish Week that the right-wing protestors are “embarrassing themselves.”

“It’s actually sad,” she said. “What we’re actually doing is talking about love and spreading representation of different types of people.”

After last Thursday’s event, a video circulated online showing members of the Proud Boys being led by members of the New York Police Department into the 74th Street-Broadway subway station in Jackson Heights without paying.

“We don’t feel like the NYPD is there to actually protect or defend or anything like that,” Ellman-Golan said. “If their goal is to make sure that Drag Story Hours can continue in peace, they are failing.”

The NYPD said in a statement on Monday that it was trying to “to deescalate the situation and prevent further violence a decision was made to escort one group to the Jackson Heights subway station to remove the group from the area.”

According to Lima, however, the video of the police letting the Proud Boys into the subway showed them getting “a literal free pass for what they were doing.”

“The police never protected families like ours,” Lima said. “That’s not who we turn to for safety. We are protecting ourselves. The queer community understands very well what it means to be ostracized or hated, and knows how to show up for people.”

Miriam, a queer Jewish activist who regularly shows up to defend Drag Story Hour, told the New York Jewish Week that she was only comfortable giving out her first name out of fear of being doxxed — having her private information made public — by the right-wing protestors. “This can result in significant stress, but also loss of unemployment, housing and in some cases physical attacks,” Miriam said. “If your employers get 50 calls a day from people telling them that you are a pedophile, that may make your life hard. It’s a significant concern.”

Miriam said that these protests are a personal attack on her queer identity, but “it doesn’t mean I’m there as a queer person rather than a Jew.” “I’m there as both things,” Miriam said. “Jews have to be opposed to fascism because fascism is opposed to Jews. Jewish history and Jewish culture gives us ample reasons to oppose fascism. We should never be letting fascists in the streets unopposed, no matter what they are doing.”

Rabbi Rachel Goldenberg of Malkhut, a progressive congregation in Jackson Heights, showed up at a Drag Story Hour defense on Oct. 28 at the library. She told the New York Jewish Week that “it was a pretty unnerving experience, to be facing such right-wing vitriol.” “The hatred feels like it’s coming from the same place of white supremacist activism, which holds hands with antisemitism,” Goldenberg said. “It was really painful and shocking to hear the language that was being used.”

She recalled how a large man burst into her group while they were singing in front of the library. “He was very loud, hostile and violent,” Goldenberg said. “Not by throwing punches, but he had a violent vibe. You get the sense that they have been riled up by lies and conspiracy theories. They have no qualms about getting in our faces and accusing us of wanting to groom children.”

Goldenberg surmised that so many Jews are showing up to protect Drag Story Hour because they’re inspired by the emphasis Judaism places on education. “We value learning,” Goldenberg said. “We value being open to multiple opinions, we value open discussion — that’s what Torah is about. Drag Story Hours and public libraries are then all very much tied into Jewish values.”

“These are our family members,” she added. “These are our friends. These are our neighbors. This is us as Jews.”

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afc-agitprop · 6 months

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Arsenal as an organization are on thin ice right now. They need to lifetime ban those cunts on the video, as well as firing their social media director, who has been retweeting and liking Islamophobic/anti-semitic posts and other nazi related posts. Then again, with our ownership being war-crazy American conservatives, is there really any chance of this happening???

#arsenal fc #sad state not just of our club but other clubs as well

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thoughtportal · 10 months

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Oh Say Can You See

By Viktoria Valenzuela

By the dawn's early light, I think of skin; I think of how Light can shine through my eyelids no matter how hard I close them.

I question, do they see a lampshade at a neo-Nazi party?

When I think of eyelids I pet mine with flower petals soaking.

We soak up the sun's rays to make chlorophyll. Am I a daisy pushed up after someone has died?

When I think of flower petals I think of honey bees hovering over the sex organs of flowers

and tongues of black bears. Am I a black bear starving in the forest for lack of bees?

When I think of black bears I think of polar bears who have white fur but black skin.

Am I a polar bear starving in the Arctic for lack of ice and seal prey? When I think of I.C.E. I think of brown

skin, that looks just like mine, trying to make it in America. Am I American if neo-Nazis are running America?

When I think of America, my body aches for something more protective than skin. Skin is only skin deep.

Skin is only skin Deep. Black-Red-Yellow-Brown as brown can be.

#poem #poetry #Viktoria Valenzuela

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ramblingdisaster73 · 1 year

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Trying to distract myself so to make the wait for next episode go faster but unable to completely shut down my 911ls monkey brain... How long do you think the owen&nazis storyline will span? We know it will be till at least ep6 but will it be the last? Will that storyline be wrapped up by ep8 when supposedly him and tk will talk? Or it will be a season long thing?

Personally I hope it will end soon, I dislike when specific villains drag on for an entire season. And I also would like lighter and funnier stories for Owen, like wedding shenanigans. I'm also hoping to see again his brother Robert, ideally with tk too,but I know I'm probably asking too much on that front.

I am seriously hoping it is all tied up by the end of 4x06 – I am also hoping that we don’t see a lot of it in 4x05 – that the truly focus on the Marjan & Grace storylines for the bulk of that episode.

I kinda think there might be some kind of cliffhanger at the end of 4x05 – to lead us into the end of this Owen is so desperate for friends his age that he almost joined a group of Nazis for a cool new nickname arc (sorry that is pretty much how I refer to it in my head.)

There are some things I really have liked about this arc:

Showed how easy it is for groups to entice new members – Make them feel like they have a place they can belong – but that the groups will do so while they hide their true intentions. *Owen is WANTS friends his own age – he doesn’t tend to look below the surface of people until someone else (in this & a lot of other cases – that is Judd) open his eyes.

Showing how these types of groups want to appeal to & add first responders to their numbers – it gives them a sense of legitimacy in their actions & goals (at least to themselves). – O’Brien being a founder is something that didn’t shock me at all – I said all along he was higher in the hierarchy than we were being shown at first. While he may have gotten out – It's not really easy to leave a criminal organization – even if you are a cop.

BUT – I think it would be great to have an Owen arc where he realizes he CAN’T always be the ‘hero’, the one in the thick of it. Where he doesn’t save the day.

They have this weird obsession with making him this big hero type character – but, they do it in a way that makes him look so incredibly stupid and naïve about how people are. Every time I watch these first 3 episodes, I just think he is more and more stupid.

In 4x02 Owen asked the FBI agent if it was him, that when it came to him making male friends his own age & shit inevitably goes wrong – Is the problem him? I yelled “Yes, it is you.”

He needs to look around him – see that what he is looking for while he fucks shit up with people like O’Brien, Billy, & Red – he already has – just with a guy that is a bit younger (Judd), a woman who is closer in age (Tommy), and the twenty-something that he practically adopted (Mateo).

Owen/Rob absolutely kills the comedic scenes –I love those scenes – the one in 4x02 of him & Tommy in his office makes me tear up from laughing so much. For me, these are his stronger scenes/performances. But they built the character up as this huge hero – a lot from being a 9/11 survivor – that they keep throwing him in these plotlines that have nothing to do with being a fire captain – just a naïve adrenaline junkie – and they keep making them longer and longer.

I understood why they stretched out the ice storm in season 3, there was so much going on – FOR EVERYONE – that they had to stretch it out. But, for season 4, they started with 3 main storylines:

Tommy & Reverend Parks – This was one of the focuses for the 1st two episodes – and will be coming back – this I think is one of the 2 season long arcs – Tommy really moving on after Charles

Carlos is married/Iris & Carlos getting kidnapped – This arc will be wrapped up this week (TOMORROW!!!) – but it only a piece of what I think the other season long arc is – Tarlos wedding (I am really leaning into it being at the end of the season). We will be getting pieces of this arc until the end.

Owen & the nazis. – I don’t know why they had to stretch this one through six episodes – unless they are running out of ideas for Owen – which, if that is the case, I have some they can use.

*The stills for 4x06 show Owen, O’Brien, the male FBI guy in the hospital room of Red (that is who it looked like to me) – So I do think that ep ends it. (Or at least I am trying to convince myself that it does).

Owen being desperate for male friends in his age bracket that will instead, just help him fuck up his own life is the series arc. Really all this rambling to say that I really hope the nazis are gone by the end of 4x06 – like really hoping.

I don’t think I will ever be able to trust a dude that is roughly Owen’s age that wants to be his friend – his track record is not encouraging.

#valerileygreen #911 lone star season 4 #911 lone star spoilers #911 lone star speculation #Owen Strand

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