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#i wish i could stop being so judgemental of myself and just make the things i want when i want to make them
blu3b3rryj4mp1r3 · 2 years
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I stayed up until 6 am because my brain can't stop thinking but here are some ponies I drew 🙃
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transvoxman · 2 years
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Ok actually I was wrong in the tags, laserblast was never outwardly a jerk in highschool, not for anything that could be traced back to him. He was Always nice, he was Always the bigger person, specifically just so that no one could ever say "he wouldn't make a good hero, he was mean to me once." Poor guy created his Whole Personality around having a career as the Most Successful Hero Ever, he never did a genuine/true-to-humself thing in his whole goddamn life until he started being Venomous.
#laserblast#okko thoughts#AND EVEN THEN! HE GOT SO CAUGHT UP IN BEING THE BEST AND MOST WELL-RENOUNED VILLAIN THAT HE PUT HIMSELF BACK IN A SIMILAR SITUATION AGAIN#he thought to himself 'if only i could leave POINT then i could be myself'#he thought 'wow i could finally stop having all this pressure to be perfect and to keep up a certain image 24/7 now thats the dream'#AND THEN HE WENT AND FOCUSED ON KEEPING UP A GOOD IMAGE ANYWAY TO THE POINT THAT HE WAS BORED WITH LIFE#you can take the perfectionist cares-what-others-think boy out of the hero spotlight but that mindset will still follow him where he goes#and this time he couldnt even blame his dad or POINT for molding his personality into a tiny box to fit a specific image#it mustve hurt to think about. god. 'i faked my death to escape this why am i putting MYSELF through it'#it took boxman crashing into his life to break him free from that cycle of perfectionism and appearances#dont get me wrong tho. he was way happier as venomous even when he was stuck caring so much about what other villains think#because he Relished doing villainous things. he Loved thinking about how horrified everyone who pressured him so much would be to see this#it felt so so freeing to do the exact opposite of literally everything he was raised to be#and of course. raising fink and spending time with her made him really happy too#fink obviously never made him feel the Crushing Pressures and Judgements of Society#she is one of the few people who ever took his mind off all of that instead of making him think about it all even more#who cares about society when you have a little menace to take care of! a menace who loves villainy purely for the fun of it!#idk i have so many thoughts about pv i want to study him like a bug#i wish i was up for drawing a bunch instead of just writing out my thoughts#but this takes so much less energy than making art or writing fics
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atrwriting · 8 months
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selfish - frank castle x reader
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hey y'all back in action with another porn no plot one shot
all i'm saying is,,, they knew who their target audience was with this (or are we just all mentally ill?)
summary: frank shows you what it means to be a real, selfish man.
informal warnings: frank is the selfish man in this, but I was the selfish woman writing this. couldn't get this out of my head as I started season two of the punisher, and frankly (haha get it -- sorry) after this scene you wouldn't be able to either
as always, the actual warnings: vulnerable frank, #sadboihrs for both the reader and frank, smut, porn no plot, choking, dirty talk, and ROUGH frank
anyway... selfish:
“what’s your type?”
the million dollar question. the one that you had been troubling yourself over for years.
“my type?” you repeated, eyeing the man who asked you. “or my pattern?”
he tilted his head in curiosity. “both.”
you chuckled. “my pattern… well, they’re usually useless. man babies.”
it was his turn to chuckle. “you like taking care of them, yeah?”
you shrugged. “i love taking care of people, but not men that de-age into babies as time goes on. did you know a guy i dated asked me how to boil water once?”
“you’re joking,” he took a swig of his beer, eyeing you. “no way that’s true. made that up.”
“i wish,” you laughed, rubbing a hand over your face. “i’m also not making it up that i stayed with him two years after that.”
“sounds like your fault.”
you nodded. “the pattern made me realize what my real type is.”
“what?”
“it’s corny.”
“say it.”
a smirk attempted to appear on your lips, but you pushed it back down. “i don’t like selfless men.”
he let out a laugh in disbelief at that. “you and every other chick.”
you chuckled too. “i heard this an analogy once… if you’re falling over a cliff, would you want your person to save you? or someone else about to fall on another side of the cliff?”
he stopped talking then, listening intently.
you kept going. “obviously, i’d want the other person saved… but in my head, when i’m all alone and there’s no one that has to be saved… sometimes it’s nice to think that someone would be so selfish that they would save me over doing what’s right.”
“you could live with that though?” he asked, narrowing his eyes, a bit of judgement lacing his words.
you shrugged. “never been the person that was saved, so i’m really not sure. it’s not that i want to be saved or anything — that’s super fucking corny. but man, a fucking masculine man, putting you over other things? deciding that in that moment, you’re what matters to him? i spend all my days being selfless, putting myself in danger so other people are saved… and i’m tired.” you took a swig of your drink. “i’m really fucking tired.”
“why don’t you save yourself, then?”
“for the same reason you’re here,” you sighed. “when have we ever been selfish, frank?”
he laughed at that, but almost scoffed. “i don’t do anything i do for anyone but me.”
you swallowed then, clenching your jaw. “so many people have wronged you… but you’ve only done what you’ve done because of how people have wronged those you loved. hate to break it to you… but you’re as selfless as anyone could be.”
he folded his lips underneath his teeth and stared aimlessly off into the distance. there were bags under his dark eyes, and no amount of sleep or beer would ever take them away. the man would never know peace, and your heart broke at that. however, it was nice to know someone was going down the rabbit hole with you.
“i don’t think i’m selfless,” he finally spoke after a bit.
you raised an eyebrow at him, calling his bluff.
“i did the things i did because my family was what was most important to me,” he admitted. “that’s selfish.”
you swished his words around in your mouth a little, and decided he was right. the spin on your words made you nod, agreeing with him. “i see your point.”
“so, what?” he asked. “you want a man that would choose you over innocent people?”
you huffed, standing. “i know you know that i never said that. i’m saying that in the back of my mind, it would be nice, just once, for a selfish man to decide that i’m all he wanted. it would be nice to know that i don’t always have to carry the weight on only my shoulders.”
he didn’t say anything then, staying planted on his seat on the floor. he twisted the bottle in his hands and listened to you.
“if i’m being honest with myself…” you began, swallowing your heavy statement. “i would prefer if they saved the innocents, but only so i could die, as i probably would falling in that situation, with a clear conscience. all i’m saying is… it’s a heavy fucking burden always doing things so i don’t feel guilty.”
you walked away then, not muttering a goodbye. frank didn’t say anything either. you heard him raise the bottle to his lips once more before you shut your bedroom door behind you.
it would be an hour or so before you heard a gentle knock on your door. there was no yelling or screaming outside, so you were grateful to hear there was no imminent danger present. in your tiny pajamas, you answered the door to find none other than frank. he was leaning against a wall in the hallway that led to your door, only a couple feet from you.
he didn’t say anything when you came face to face with him. he just stared at you, placing all of his focus on your confused face. it would be a few moments of silence before he finally stepped closer to you, and placed a calloused hand on your face.
you froze. frank castle never touched you, especially in that way.
“wanna know my type?”
you stared at him and swallowed thickly. your lips parted to whisper, “sure.”
“an escape,” he whispered back. “i know what you meant by always having the dark cloud of duty hanging above your head, ready to kill any moment of peace you happen to get your damned hands on. i’ve done everything i’ve ever done for the people i loved, and i know the only way for me to experience any fuckin’ joy is with another person.”
his dark eyes held your gaze, and you soon grew lost in them and his words. you swiped your tongue across your lips and stepped closer. you could feel frank’s breath on your chin, but you couldn’t breathe. his scent, his stare, and his fucking words were more intoxicating than any alcohol you had before.
“you want an escape, frank?” you softly asked, eyes darting to his lips.
“i do,” he stated, before he lowered his head and kissed you.
his free hand immediately came up to the other side od your face and pressed against your cheek. there, he held you in the palms of his hands as you rested your hands on his thick, muscled chest. his lips were dry and cracked, but you didn’t care. the fire that brewed from his affection was enough to fill any of the cold, dark, and lonely places inside of you and you greedily drank from anything he offered.
“you want someone to want you, darlin’?” he asked in between kisses.
you hummed in agreement, not wanting to break apart your kiss for anything — even words.
“can’t get you out of my head, sweetheart,” he spoke, dipping his tongue into your mouth. “need to feel those long legs around me.”
you whimpered at his words, letting his tongue dance with yours. you could taste the heineken on his tongue and savored every bit. “please, frank… i need to feel you so badly.”
“i’ve got you, darlin’.” he picked you up by the backs of your thighs and you wrapped your legs around him. the pads of frank’s finger tips dug into your flesh and a warmth spread throughout you. “those fuckin’ legs.”
you would’ve giggled, but you were too consumed with the very touch of frank to even care. you pulled at his shirt and threw it over his head, sad to break the kiss for even a second. you immediately went to his neck and began to nip at the thick skin, causing a growl to rumble in the deepest parts of his rib cage.
“y’drive me fuckin’ crazy,” he grunted. “sweetest fuckin’ kisses.”
“oh, frank…” you moaned against his neck before he threw you onto the bed. you turned over onto your back to face him. he locked eyes with you as he stood over you, muscles naturally flexed as he undid his belt. your mouth watered at the sight of the fucking man before you, taking off his belt for only you. the way his shoulders, pectorals, and arms worked in the dim light of your room… that man would be the death of you. you hissed, “you’re such a tease.”
he smirked at that, throwing the belt somewhere in the distance. “think you’ve just never been with a real man before,” he replied, before engulfing you into another kiss.
frank’s hand dipped into your shorts and immediately went for your slit. your body fucking sang at finally being touched the way you needed to be as you arched your back into frank, his chest pressed against yours. when frank began to run rough circles around your clit, nothing could hold back your moans or him swallowing them whole.
“only took off my belt, and this is how wet you get?” he asked, biting down on your neck. his long, thick middle finger dipped inside of you as his thumb worked at your clit. he tapped against your upper wall and you keened into his touch, whimpering his name. “now i know it’s the men before me. barely doing a fuckin’ thing and i’ve got you like this.”
you nodded pathetically, just wanting him to continue. “it feels so good,” you gasped, bucking your hips into his hand. “please, please — don’t stop, frank.”
he leaned over and pressed his chest against yours before his lips found your neck once more. his kisses were wet and sloppy, and there was nothing better than feeling the weight of a strong man above you working at your needy pussy. his rough movements against your sensitive skin were sending you into a frenzy as if nothing mattered in the world besides frank — your world started and ended there. your body felt hot — steaming from everything this man was doing for you with barely any effort. your whimpers and gasps fueled frank’s movements as if he couldn’t get enough of them.
“such a good girl f’me,” he said before he bit down on your neck and kissed the spot. “y’get so worked up, i want to see what it’s like when you fall apart.”
“i’m so close, frank…” your voice was hoarse and full of lust, and you were about to break any moment.
“that’s it, baby, yeah,” he spoke, slipping a second finger inside of you. “cum all over these fingers baby. let me taste you after.”
“fuck, fuck, fuck —!”
your world came crashing down onto you. your strength was no match for frank’s, but with the way your back arched and body curled into him, your chests both rose off the bed. he wrapped a strong arm underneath the curve of your back as you fucking sobbed his name, holding you to him and supporting your weight.
“that’s it, darlin’,” he grunted against your ear. “yeah — that’s it. keep cumming for me, fuck…”
your hands grabbed at his thick biceps and you grew lost in his movements against the most sensitive parts of you that never ceased. your hips were rolling in circles with his fingers and your vision went hazy.
“so beautiful like this f’me,” he groaned. “might be mean and not let you stop.”
“fuck, frank,” you cried, whimpering for him. your body fell limp against his arm, and he lowered your bodies back down to the bed. during your comedown, frank kissed at your neck as his free hand ran up and down your body. his other hand continued to rub against your pussy and it was driving you fucking crazy. “let me ride you — please.”
your voice was full of desperation, and frank smirked down at you. he slipped his fingers out of you and rolled off of you onto the bed. you tugged his pants down to his thighs, not wanting to waste any time. you were so greedy, but he didn’t care. he smirked as he watched you pull down your tiny shorts. you straddled him, pressing his chest to yours, as you sank down onto his thick cock.
“my fucking god —“ you gasped, your pussy stretching around him.
frank immediately grabbed your throat and you sucked in a sharp breath at the sight. he placed the tips of his fingers in his mouth, and tasted your juices that remained on his skin. there you were, impaled on his cock, hovering over him as you watched the most sensual thing you had ever seen him do. his dark eyes were locked on yours, but your lips parted as you watched him taste you. only a smirk remained on his lips.
“sweetest fuckin’ pussy i’ve ever tasted,” he spoke. “now show me how she rides me.”
he roughly pushed you upwards so you stood up straight. the angle made a whimper leave your lips, as he was now fully inside of you and the deepest anyone has ever been. you planted a limp hand on his stomach, and began to roll your hips against his.
his calloused hands found your hips as he threw his head back against the bed. the tendons in his neck were on full display as he stretched his head back as far as he could. the pleasure he felt was spreading all throughout his body, and he couldn’t help but go taut at the feeling. you watched his mouth fall agape and his eyes close as a moan pushed passed his lips.
the pads of his fingers dug into your hips and pushed you forward and back. even his fingers were strong and had control over you, and you couldn’t help but willingly give everything over to him. your whines filled the room, getting lost in your own pleasure with him. there was nothing like the sight of being thrown into vulnerable pleasure with the man under you, succumbing to your touch.
“fuckin’ god —“ he moaned, raising his head back up to keep his eyes locked on where your bodies connected. “never felt so fuckin’ good.”
his hoarse voice caused you to move faster as you ground your hips against his. his hands were rough and desperate as they pulled you up, down, back and forth — until you didn’t know which way was anything. all you knew were the directions of frank’s hands, and you followed in suit as he dragged you down another road of ecstasy.
“greedy fuckin’ pussy,” he groaned. “never enough for her, huh? needs more, even after what i did?”
“yes, yes,” you whimpered pathetically. “your cock feels so good, frank. so fucking good.”
“yeah, darlin’, that’s it,” he grunted, brown scrunching together. “such a good fuckin’ girl f’me.”
“fuck, frank — don’t say that,” you cried loudly, biting your lip. “feels too good when you say that — i can’t cum yet.”
he immediately reached for your neck and pulled you down to him. you gasped at his rough touch, but your hips never stopped. he bent his knees so your ass could bounce off of them, giving you more leverage. his cock curled deeper into you, hitting your cervix.
“oh my — god —“ you sobbed so close to his lips.
“nah, baby, that’s not how this works — you’re gonna take everything fuckin’ i give you,” he grunted. “i know y’want to be a good girl f’me, yeah?”
“yeah, yeah, yes —“ you were incoherent at this point, ready to tell frank anything he wanted to hear as he bucked his hips into yours. “frank, i’m so close — how —“
“love a needy pussy like this,” he spoke, pulling you closer by the throat for a kiss. “you gonna be good to me? you gonna cum around my cock?”
“fuck, yes —“ you sobbed. “i want you to cum with me, baby, fill me up.”
that set him off. he rolled both of you over before you even knew what was happening. he had you pressed against the bed, hand still around your throat. you grabbed at his arm, loving having the feeling of his strong muscles hold you down. you wrapped your legs around his back as he threw his hips into you. over, and over, he drove himself inside you.
“dirty fuckin’ girl,” he growled, biting down on the skin of where your neck and shoulder met.
that was it. that was how you crumbled a second time for frank that evening.
you fucking wailed his name.
you grabbed at every part of him you could, struggling to hold on for dear life. your body shook with convulsions as your pussy tightened around him, locking his cock in place. nothing could stop his strong hips as they continued to rut into you — riding out your second orgasm of that evening.
you fell back against the bed, fucked out and gasping for air pathetically. frank pressed several kisses to your neck before he stood up on his knees, leaving your weak body below him. you pushed yourself to your elbows with whatever strength you could muster. frank grabbed you by the hips and you watched him slam his hips into yours.
you watched his forehead scrunch as his mouth fell agape. his chin was almost tucked to his neck as his eyes never left where his cock fucked into you.
“use me just like that, baby,” you cried. “i want your cum inside me.”
his strong, trim body went taut as his orgasm hit him, and you watched hungrily as the man before you fell vulnerable to the only pleasure he could allow himself these days. you watched as his conscious mind slipped further and further into the sensation until every ounce of stress and exhaustion left his face. you couldn’t help but bite your lip in pride and satisfaction — knowing that you will never see a more beautiful sight like frank castle using your body to get off.
you fucking loved selfish men.
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DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN NOW EVERYONE GO WATCH THIS SCENE -L xox
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grandlinedreams · 2 months
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|| notes: first non-AS!reader thing for Azriel yeehaw
|| warnings: injury, mention of blood, pining, angst
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Two fingertips prod at broken skin, elicting a burst of wildfire pain.
"Fuck," you hiss, teeth gritting as fresh blood leaks down your skin. It'd been poor judgement on your end that lead to the naga getting a lucky hit in before you could dispatch it, though you're almost grateful for the amount of the creature's blood that stains your gear ㅡ hiding the smell of your own beneath it.
Busy trying to scrub blood from your skin so you can clean it properly, you wish you could say that you don't notice your sudden company ㅡ but you do, eyes sweeping to meet hazel in the mirror of your bathroom.
"Ever heard of knocking?"
Azriel looks less than amused, eyes flicking over the mess of your clothing, then to the gash that stretches across your ribs. "You're injured."
You snort. "Nothing gets past you, spymaster." Azriel's eyes narrow, but he doesn't rise to the bait as he steps closer.
"You should've said something. Madjaㅡ"
"Is busy enough," you interrupt. "I can handle it myself." You eye him, then point at the doorway. "You can leave."
A muscle in Azriel's jaw jumps. You can tell you're getting on his nerves ㅡ and you wish you could stop, but it's the only way you know how to handle just how off-balance he makes you feel.
"Let me help."
Maybe you've lost more blood than you thought. Azriel stares at you, and you hide the urge to blush under a scowl. "Fine. Suit yourself."
The way you yank your ruined shirt up and over your head makes your side throb, but it's more than worth it for the deliberate way Azriel averts his gaze. You almost think he might be blushing ㅡ but there's no sign of pink on his cheeks when he turns his attention to gathering the supplies he needs from the mess you've set out.
You end up sitting on the basin with him standing between your legs ㅡ and the percieved intimacy of it makes your heartbeat stutter and ache in equal measure. You're not dumb enough to think that he'd be interested in you ㅡ not when his eyes have been on Mor for so long.
And you don't blame him ㅡ Mor is beautiful, quick on her feet and with her tongue. Dazzling and captivating ㅡ a rival for the sun in all her blinding intensity.
The brush of Azriel's fingers against your bare skin makes your breath hitch, and he freezes. "Am I hurting you?"
Yes. You can feel his eyes on you, assessing. You look away, fingers curling against the basin lip. "No."
Azriel reaches for the tin of salve. "You should be more careful."
"How very kind of you to tell me what I already know." Azriel stiffens at the edge to your tone. "I didn't do it on purpose, Azriel."
"Next time, take me with you." He begins winding soft bandage around your ribs. This close, he's hyperaware of the warmth of your body, your scent that makes him want to press his face to your neck.
You scoff. "Why? So you can tell me everything that I do wrong?"
Azriel's palms meet the mirror on either side of your head, caging you in. His eyes blaze, firebright with irritation. "Why," he hisses, "do you insist on being like this?"
Because the only time he pays attention to you is when he's scolding you. Because the only time you get emotion out of him is when you're intentionally trying to piss him off. Because youㅡ
Your expression goes unreadable. "Get out."
Azriel stares at you, looks like he wants to say more ㅡ but he pulls away, turning and leaving without another word. You wait until you're certain he's gone to sigh, leaning your head back against your mirror with a thump.
The wound is bandaged, but all you do is hurt.
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edenesth · 8 months
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Blossoming Alliances
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Pairing: prince!Yunho x princess!reader
AU: arranged marriage au
Word Count: 10.9k
Summary: As a means to bring peace between two kingdoms, Prince Yunho of Wonderland is forced into an arranged marriage with the Princess of Aurora. Firmly against the idea of being bound to a complete stranger, the prince makes things more difficult than it has to be. What happens when he finds himself falling for the princess that he so strongly refuses to marry?
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"I don't care what the king and queen have planned for me, I'm not-"
Yunho's protest abruptly halted as he skidded to a stop, the air seemingly knocked out of his lungs and his words stuck in his throat. He stood by the floor-to-ceiling window, his gaze ensnared by an ethereal sight.
Following closely behind him, Yeosang, the prince's trusted advisor and personal assistant, muttered a quiet curse as he narrowly avoided colliding with the taller man's back.
The prince's eyes widened in awe as he beheld the graceful figure of the individual meant to be his future princess, strolling amidst a sea of blooming flowers.
The delicate hues of the petals seemed to pale in comparison to her radiant presence, she had the beauty parallel to that of a Greek goddess. With every step she took, her flowing gown mirrored the elegance of her movement and a gentle breeze played with the tendrils of her hair, adding to the aura of enchantment.
The instant Yunho laid eyes on the princess he was bound to marry, all previous arguments and objections he had harboured about the arranged marriage faded into oblivion, vanished entirely from his thoughts.
His jaw hung slack and he struggled to find words. His feet remained firmly rooted to the ground as he stared, momentarily transformed into a foolish, unprincely observer.
"You were saying, your highness?" Yeosang inquired, his tone tinged with sarcasm, his brow arched.
"Is that… her? The p-princess?" Yunho stammered, his ability to speak suddenly elusive. His advisor nodded, regarding the prince with an amused glint in his eye, "Yes, your highness, that is her. Beautiful, isn't she? It seems the rumours about her divine beauty were entirely accurate."
Indeed, she is.
The prince's breath caught in his throat as he watched her, his heart beating faster than usual.
Her every gesture seemed to be poetry in motion, as though the garden itself had come alive to pay homage to her beauty. He felt a sense of time slowing down, his world narrowing to encompass only her in that moment. And as the princess turned to catch a glimpse of him, their eyes finally met.
Flustered, Yunho blinks his eyes rapidly and clears his throat loudly.
Stunned by the charming smile she had sent his way, he gives the princess a curt nod out of courtesy before looking away quickly, embarrassed.
It probably wasn't anything new to the princess for people to gape at her the way he did. But he wasn't just anyone, he was the crown prince of Wonderland, goddammit.
Ah great, I've just made a complete fool of myself.
Gone were all the words of his carefully planned and well-rehearsed speech he had spent all night to come up with, fully prepared to have a whole debate with his parents today about why they should not go through with the plan.
Sensing Yeosang's judgemental gaze on him, he scoffs before waving the shorter male off.
"W-whatever, beauty isn't going to be enough to keep a marriage strong. She could be spoiled and haughty for all we know, and the last thing I need is a wife that's all looks and no brains."
The advisor scoffs, "Sounds to me like an excuse, my prince. You seem to be convincing yourself more than anyone else. The princess should be anything but spoiled and haughty if she is already here ready to meet you."
Yunho glares down at his oldest friend in irritation, he sometimes wished Yeosang could be less rational because the advisor was annoyingly correct with his statement.
A part of the prince wanted the princess to be on her worst behaviour, that would give him a good reason to not comply but if she continues on with her good girl act and wins everyone's favour, that would make him seem like the bad guy.
Or perhaps, he was.
Why was he so against this again?
Right, because she's a complete stranger. And not just any stranger, she had to be one all the way from Aurora too.
That was why he came to seek an audience with his parents. They'd be kidding themselves if they thought he'd be backing down so easily without a fight.
With his sights set on the grand doors to the throne room, the prince reminds himself of why he's come to this part of the palace. He proceeds to march forward, determined to talk his way out of the marriage no matter how breathtaking he finds the princess to be.
Yes, the princess was insanely gorgeous.
That was an undeniable fact and Yunho would have to be blind to think otherwise.
However, he genuinely believed that beauty alone amounted to very little, especially in marriage. This union was a lifelong commitment.
This was no fairytale.
Whoever it was that Yunho married, he had to spend the rest of his life with, so his future wife would have to possess a lot more qualities than simply being easy on the eyes.
Pull yourself together, Jung Yunho. She's just another beautiful face and you've seen plenty of those.
You see, Crown Prince Yunho, heir to the throne of Wonderland, has found himself entangled in the intricate web of politics when his parents arrange a marriage with the princess of the neighbouring kingdom, Aurora. Tensions have simmered between the two nations for years, and this alliance is seen as a way to bring peace to the region.
But there was just one major problem, Yunho was vehemently opposed to the arranged marriage.
He resents the idea of being bound to a stranger, especially from a rival nation. His preconceived notions about the princess lead him to believe she's merely a pawn in her own right, just as he feels he is in this political game.
Unfortunately for him, the meeting with his parents had pretty much gone the exact way he wished it hadn't. As Yeosang had predicted, each of his arguments was met with compelling responses from his parents, rendering him momentarily speechless.
Yunho accuses the princess of being spoiled but with his continuous stubbornness and adamance, he was beginning to look the part himself.
While he voiced concerns about potential issues arising from this union, such as constraints on personal freedom, emotional distress, compatibility problems, and the inevitable cultural and societal pressures, his parents remained unfazed.
They had anticipated their son's dissatisfaction when they initially revealed the arrangement and had been prepared for his complaints.
"Yunho-yah," The queen began, her voice gentle yet firm, "We understand your concerns about the arranged marriage. But you must also understand the broader implications of our decision."
The king leaned forward, his expression serious, "Our kingdom stands at a crossroads, my son. The tensions between our nation and Aurora have lingered for far too long. The alliance formed through this marriage could finally bring about a lasting peace."
The prince's brow furrowed as he folded his arms, a mix of frustration and reluctance in his eyes, "But father, how can I marry someone I've never met? Someone from a land with which we've had conflicts?"
His mother's gaze softened, "Yunho, we're not asking you to abandon your feelings or desires. We're asking you to consider the greater good. The princess is in the same situation, and she's willing to put aside her own reservations for the sake of her people. It's a sacrifice for both of you."
And there it was, he must look like an absolute asshole all thanks to her obedience. Yeosang would definitely agree, even his advisor was supportive of the marriage. The prince seems to be the only one against this.
"We've always taught you to put the needs of the kingdom before personal wishes. This is one of those times when our actions will shape the course of history. Your cooperation can be a bridge towards a more peaceful future."
His father added, eyes trained firmly on his son.
He needed Yunho to understand that this matter was not up for negotiation, the only reason they were still entertaining his tantrums was to hopefully talk some sense into him. After all, his compliance would make a huge difference and things could be so much easier.
Yunho sighed, his shoulders slumping, "I understand the reasons, mother, father. But how can I be expected to share my life with someone I know nothing about?"
The queen leaned forward, her expression filled with empathy, "Arranged marriages are not what they used to be, Yunho. You'll have the opportunity to get to know the princess, to find common ground, and perhaps even build a genuine connection."
She was right but for some reason, Yunho's brain refuses to see things that way.
There had to be alternative methods to form an alliance; why did he need to sacrifice his choice to love? As a royal, he was only permitted one marriage and now one of the most momentous decisions of his life was about to be dictated by the future of his kingdom.
He would have said those words out loud had it not been for the look in his father's eyes, the king was growing tired of this pointless talk.
As the prince's gaze shifted between his parents, a mixture of uncertainty played across his face. He knew their words held weight, that his compliance could influence the fate of their kingdom. With a sigh, he uncrossed his arms and met their eyes.
He sensed that further argument was futile. The arrangement would proceed whether he liked it or not, "I hear you, father, mother," He finally said, his tone resigned, "I'll meet the princess and try to see the bigger picture."
And by that, what he actually meant was that he would be keeping busy, looking for loopholes to escape this predicament.
It was an exhausting journey getting from Aurora to Wonderland by carriage but you didn't voice your discomfort because you knew it must have been so much harder for your guards and servants.
It hasn't been easy on you, learning of the sudden need for you to wed the prince of another nation. It had to be Wonderland too, of all kingdoms, the specific one that hadn't been on particularly good terms with Aurora for as long as you could remember.
The truth was that you had been prepared for this all your life.
Since childhood, your mother had instilled in you the belief that your primary duty, as a princess, was to marry for political reasons someday. As much as you had dreaded it, you had always known that this day would arrive sooner or later.
What truly caught you off guard, however, was the fact that you were arranged to marry the future king of Wonderland, not Utopia. This was partly because you had always assumed you'd marry Prince San of Utopia, a kingdom with strong ties to your parents.
You and San had practically grown up side by side, he was a good friend of yours and you wouldn't have minded spending your life with him. He was easily one of the most gentle and caring men you've met, he would have made a fine husband.
While you didn't harbour any personal grievances against Prince Yunho or Wonderland, you had heard of his discontent with the arrangement, which naturally left you feeling disheartened.
It wasn't like you were ecstatic about this either but you understood that it was an integral part of your role as a royal, no?
Due to the prince's resistance, his parents had requested your arrival a bit earlier than initially planned, hoping to give him time to warm up to you before both kingdoms made the official announcement regarding your alliance to the public.
Fortunately for you, the king and queen of Wonderland had warmly received you upon your arrival and offered a brief tour of the palace's central court. They made every effort to make you feel welcome before escorting you to your chambers.
Unfortunately for you, the prince was nowhere to be seen. You couldn't help but have mixed feelings about his nonattendance, especially since he was the primary reason for and the most significant aspect of your visit.
But you supposed that may have been too much to ask of him, given his well-known opposition to this marriage.
Here you were, finally settling into the grand bed chambers designated for you. You sat in contemplative silence by the ornate vanity while your handmaiden, Yeri, attentively touched up your appearance.
"What is the matter, my princess? Are you feeling okay?"
Once she was done brushing your hair, you moved to pat her hand appreciatively, "I'm fine, Yeri, really. Just... trying to adapt to the new environment. It's quite different here compared to home, isn't it?"
"If you're trying to say it's more depressing here, then yes, I agree with you," You laughed quietly, attempting to hush her with an alarmed expression, "Oh my god, keep it down, you fearless woman! If anyone hears you, we're dead," She snickers, nodding quickly, "Yes, yes, your highness. I was just playing with you, at least it finally got you to smile again."
Scrunching your face up at her playfully, your heart warmed at how sweet it was of her to ensure you were alright.
"You're the best, Yeri. I really can't do this without you, so please be on your best behaviour," You shook your head when she grinned cheekily, "Now where's the fun in that?" She lifted her hands to surrender when you glared at her, unamused, "Okay, okay, sheesh."
"Go and get some rest, Yeri. You must be tired, tell the rest to join you too. I'll send Mingi for you if I need anything," She stood with her hands on her hips and let out a huff, "I know you won't, you're too kind for your own good. If I catch you trying to do anything by yourself, I'm never leaving your side again."
Before you could offer any protest, she gestured across her lips, mimicking a zipper, "I won't say this again, my princess. Let the servants do their jobs. We're not in Aurora anymore, you can't let these foreigners think you're weak or easy, do you understand?"
She was right, you hadn't thought of that at all.
Back at home, you had treated all the royal staff like friends and often chose to handle tasks yourself to avoid inconveniencing them, even when it was their responsibility. But you were no longer in Aurora, and your actions in Wonderland could potentially be mistaken as weakness or gullibility.
Yeri did not leave you until she made you pinky promise her.
You softened, hugging her before she went to catch up on some much-needed rest. Thanks to your cheerful and friendly disposition, all members of your staff have developed a deep fondness for you. Yeri, in particular, always had your best interests at heart.
Deciding it was probably best to familiarise yourself with the layout of the palace, you began wandering around with your personal guard, Mingi, following closely behind. You would have sent him to his chambers too, had he not frowned warningly at you.
He didn't have to say the words out loud, all it took was one look for you to understand his 'don't you even dare' loud and clear.
Thankful for and comforted by Mingi's tall frame towering over yours protectively from behind, you took your time sauntering about. You noted the difference between the interior at home and here; while the colours back at home were brighter, most of the decor in Wonderland leaned towards the darker side.
Your lips curved upward when you happened upon the royal garden just outside. The garden held a special place in your heart; it was your sanctuary in Aurora. There, you'd lose yourself in books, indulge in painting or simply unwind on days when you have no princess etiquette lessons.
Bounding toward it with excitement, you instructed Mingi to wait for you by the garden gates while you took a stroll by yourself. Lost in your own world, your attention had been fully captured by the new flowers you hadn't seen back in Aurora.
Unbeknownst to you, a certain pair of eyes had remained trained on your frame for quite some time now.
It was only when you finally sensed this invisible gaze that you turned and found yourself locking eyes with a strikingly tall and handsome man. As was your instinctual reaction, you greeted him with a warm smile, even if you didn't know who he was.
You resisted the urge to giggle at his expression which was similar to that of a deer caught in headlights as he nodded once politely at you before turning away almost instantly.
But before you could watch on any longer, Mingi had come to escort you back to your chambers. Exploration time was over, you had to get ready for dinner with the king and queen soon.
And all the way back, you couldn't get your mind off the man you had seen earlier.
That tall and handsome man, you later learned, was your future husband, Crown Prince Yunho of Wonderland.
On your second day here, you had the pleasure of sharing a light meal with him. Perhaps it was your jitters or perhaps it was the knowledge of his displeasure with the arrangement, you half-expected him to be rude or mean.
To your complete surprise, he had been more civil and polite than you had imagined. However, it was quite apparent to you that he had made a constant effort to keep you at arm's length.
Even after a week of your presence in the palace, he remained equally reserved.
As suggested by his parents, you have been sharing meals together more often in order to get to know one another better. Weirdly though, the questions exchanged between you two during conversations remained surface level and he refused to dive any deeper beyond simple pleasantries.
It was almost impossible to get close to him.
In a way, it was frustrating. You couldn't quite put your finger on it but you almost wished he would express his displeasure or frustration openly. His aloof behaviour, on the other hand, made you feel unimportant and irrelevant.
Gazing miserably up at the stars littered across the night sky by your balcony, you don't notice Yeri coming up to you until you feel her wrap a shawl over your exposed shoulders.
"You alright, your highness? Mingi mentioned you looking particularly upset these days. I thought things were going well with the prince?"
You sighed, pursing your lips, "I don't know, Yeri. I suppose that's how it looks to others from the outside but..." Your heart clenched, and you wondered to yourself if this was how life was going to be like married to Yunho.
"Even when he's right in front of me, he still feels so far away," Laughing humourlessly to yourself, you rubbed your hands tiredly over your eyes, "Does that even make any sense?"
Yeri runs her hands comfortingly up and down your arms, "Wow, so he's going to be that kind of husband, huh. I'm so sorry, your highness. You, of all people, don't deserve this kind of treatment, especially from the man who is supposed to be your husband."
You shook your head to ease her worries, "I'll be fine. Maybe he'll warm up to me eventually, hm? Just the way you did," She smiled half-heartedly at you, "Gee, for your sake, I sure hope so."
While you were caught up in your own feelings of despair, Yunho dedicated the majority of his time to the library, fervently seeking an alternative method for forming the alliance, anything except marriage. He refused to believe that this was the only way to do so, even when Yeosang had told him countless times that his efforts would be fruitless.
As his advisor had reiterated over and over, even if he did find another way, nothing could be stronger than an alliance formed through marriage. But Yunho would like to argue that his adamance might be stronger, though he knows he would be shot down mercilessly by his friend with actual logic.
In frustration, he slammed yet another book shut, running his hand through his hair and groaning loudly without bothering to keep his voice down. Nobody in the library would dare ask him to quiet down anyway, he was the crown prince of the nation.
Come on, there has to be another way.
Without wasting another moment, he moved on to the next book. He couldn't afford to waste any more time. Every passing day brought him closer to the solidifying of this arrangement.
Despite his lack of success in finding a solution, he was rather pleased with how he had handled you. As he had expected, you appeared to be nothing more than a pawn, sent here to be manipulated by your parents.
In the few conversations he had with you, you seemed somewhat one-dimensional, repeatedly expressing your contentment with fulfilling your duties as a princess for the betterment of your kingdom. No doubt just reciting words handed to you in a carefully crafted script, you appeared to lack personality whatsoever.
Yunho knew he was right about you from the beginning, you were all looks and not much else.
Or so he thought.
The prince had been quick to judge without bothering to get to know you any better. He couldn't have possibly been able to get a feel of your character when he continuously kept you at a distance.
It wasn't until he was forced to spend time with you as you navigate several formal events and ceremonies meant to showcase your unity, that he began to see you in a new light. You were not the stoic and passive figure he had imagined.
You revealed yourself to be an incredibly articulate and knowledgeable speaker, both on and off the stage. From delivering formal speeches to engaging in discussions with important figures of Wonderland, he was thoroughly impressed by your depth of knowledge and your ability to hold conversations on topics that sometimes even challenged him as the crown prince.
Not only that, he later saw how intelligent and compassionate you truly were but most importantly, how you shared his concerns about the forced arrangement.
It was within the confines of the royal garden that you and Yunho engaged in a heartfelt conversation, away from any prying eyes.
Your sigh was soft, your gaze fixed on the distant horizon, "Thanks for agreeing to see me, Yunho. There's something I feel I must address, I cannot go on like this for much longer." Concern filled the prince's eyes when he detected the exhaustion in your tone.
"You know, I'm not an idiot. I know what you've been doing this whole time, trying to keep me at a distance. I'm well aware of your feelings about this arrangement."
Yunho hung his head in shame, realising that he had underestimated you, believing you wouldn't see through his actions.
"I just... I need you to understand that it hasn't exactly been easy for me either. I'm not a fan of all this, to be quite honest with you. You don't think I want to marry for love too? At this point, I've just accepted that it would be a dream never to come true. Life as royalty comes with sacrifices and this is only one of many, Yunho."
The prince turns to face you, his voice was sincere, "Gosh, I honestly didn't know. All this while, I've thought only about myself. I... I'm sorry for the way I've acted, princess. I have no excuses for that."
Well, that was a surprise.
You didn't think you'd hear him apologise to you. So sincerely too.
"Thank you for the apology, it means a lot," He nodded but seemed like there was more he wanted to say, "Yunho, is there something else you wish to say?"
The prince hesitates, "It's just... You sounded like you're being weighed down by a lot. I know our kingdoms haven't been on the best of terms but, is everything okay in Aurora?"
You took a moment before meeting his eyes, your gaze holding a blend of determination and vulnerability, "My kingdom, Aurora, it's... it's in a delicate state. The tensions between our kingdom and Wonderland have taken a toll on our people. There have been losses, conflicts that have stretched on for too long."
Yunho nodded slowly, empathy evident in his features, "I know that our kingdoms have had their differences. But you've chosen to embrace this alliance, despite the challenges it presents."
Tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, you continued, "I've seen the suffering, Yunho. I've seen families torn apart by the feuds between our lands. I've felt the weight of the responsibility that rests on my shoulders. This marriage, as much as I've also hated the concept, offers a chance for healing. It's a way to bring peace to our people, to ensure a better future."
Yunho studied you, his admiration growing with every word you spoke, "Princess, I think that your willingness to prioritise your people's well-being over personal desires is truly commendable."
A faint smile touched your lips, "Thank you, I've wrestled with it and struggled against the confines of tradition. But I've come to realise that sometimes, as leaders, we must put aside our own wishes for the greater good."
That's just great, the prince has never felt more ashamed of himself. He must seem like a brat compared to you, he now fully understands why you were so loved by the people around you.
If only he had opened his eyes to this side of you sooner. There was no one to blame for this but himself, he was filled with immense guilt and regrets for the way he had treated you before.
He reached out hesitantly before gently placing a hand on yours, "Your strength and dedication are inspiring, princess. To choose the path that challenges your heart for the sake of your people speaks volumes about your character. I'm sorry for misjudging you before."
Your eyes met his, and for a moment, the weight of your shared responsibilities seemed to lessen, "Let bygones be bygones, Yunho. I hope that even if we cannot feel love for one another, you'll still be able to find a friend in me."
Yunho squeezed your hand gently, "Likewise, I hope you'll be able to do the same with me."
As you spend more time together, Yunho witnesses your genuine commitment to bridging the gap between your nations.
He discovers your efforts to learn about Wonderland's culture and language, your sincere desire to foster understanding and your determination to defy your own family's pressure for the sake of your people.
One day in the library, he stumbled upon you buried under piles of history books, dictionaries and many more Wonderland-related materials. He was surprised to learn from the royal librarian that you had been visiting frequently for the past few days.
Seeing you so engrossed in your studies, he decided not to distract you and instead settled at the table across from yours. He occasionally stole glances at you while he went about his own tasks.
You didn't notice the prince's presence until hours later when you finished one book. Stretching your limbs, you let out an unintentional moan before finally looking up, only to find Yunho staring at you, clearly amused.
A loud yelp escaped your lips ungracefully upon seeing him, and the librarian shot you a warning glare while you repeatedly bowed your head apologetically.
You hid your face in your palms, overcome with embarrassment, as the prince snickered cheekily. Now that he had your attention, he moved to your table and sat down in front of you.
"That surprised to see me, princess? I can't believe you didn't notice me at all, I've been here for hours."
Your jaw dropped, "Really? Gosh, I didn't realise."
He didn't dare say it out loud but Yunho found you so incredibly adorable in that moment, his heart skipping a beat at your natural and genuine reactions. He felt so privileged to have been able to see this candid side of you, it was so fresh and unlike the whole princess facade that you were always forced to put on in front of others.
After he ordered a nearby servant to prepare you both some light snacks and tea, you engaged in a relaxed conversation.
"Now we all know why I'm here but what are you doing here, Yunho? Shouldn't you be kept busy fulfilling your princely duties?" He sighs, pulling out the books he's been frantically looking through to show you. You furrowed your brows at the sheer amount of materials related to strategic alliances, historical governing regulations and such, "I'm afraid I don't understand."
There was a brief pause when the servant returned with the snacks Yunho had requested. He waited until you were alone before he continued.
"To be completely honest, from the moment you arrived here, I've been searching for ways for Wonderland and Aurora to form an alliance without marriage. Initially, it was for my personal reasons, but after speaking with you and realising how much you disliked this arrangement, I knew I had to keep looking—for both our sakes."
You stared at him, astonished, "You're saying that you're doing this for me too?"
He nods, "Yes, especially after hearing you speak of the struggles of your people, I knew then that this alliance must be formed for the greater good. But you also spoke so bitterly about not being able to marry for love, it pained me to hear you say that it would only be a dream never to come true."
The sincerity in his tone was enough to touch your heart, you hadn't expected him to take your words this seriously.
"So, I figured we must find another way to go about this, in order to secure peace between our kingdoms as well as our right to marry someone of our own choice."
As grateful as you were for his efforts, you didn't want to cling to false hope, as the ideal outcome he aimed for seemed far-fetched. Seeing him conduct this research alone, you could tell that his advisor likely considered it impossible and had given up trying to reason with the prince.
You smiled appreciatively at him, patting a hand gently over his.
"That's very sweet of you, Yunho, to be so considerate, from worrying about the state of my nation to my happiness. You have no idea how much this all means to me. But you do understand that it's a scenario highly unlikely to come to fruition, yes?"
Guilt washed over you when you saw his face slightly fall due to your words.
"Yeah, I'm aware, but I won't give up. We'll never truly know if we don't try, am I right?" To lift the mood and avoid making you feel bad, he wiggled his eyebrows playfully, not missing the way his heart skipped a beat when you let out a small giggle.
This has been happening way too frequently lately.
But Yunho reassured himself that he was just happy to have made a new friend, nothing more and nothing less.
He continued to tell himself that, even when all he could think about was your beautiful smile and cute laugh, feeling determined to do whatever it took to keep that smile on your face.
Despite his initial resistance, Yunho and the princess slowly begin to discover common ground. You find yourselves sharing your hopes, fears and dreams, gradually forming a connection that transcends your initial animosity.
"You sure seem a lot happier these days, I assume things are going well with the princess?"
Yeosang wonders out loud, spotting that dreamy look on the prince's face again, he's been seeing it more often lately.
He hoped this change in demeanour indicated Yunho's willingness to comply, as he was growing weary of the prince's stubbornness. The advisor feels he was about to age another ten years if he had to deal with any more of that.
However, to Yeosang's dismay, Yunho's response was not what he wanted to hear, "If by things going well, you mean us finally becoming friends, then yes. But I'm telling you, I haven't given up trying to find that loophole."
The advisor could feel his blood pressure rising; he knew the king would not be pleased with this response. Unbeknownst to Yunho, his parents had instructed Yeosang to provide daily progress reports on his relationship with the princess.
Yeosang had hoped that the improved rapport between the prince and the princess would finally allow him to deliver some positive news to the king and queen. These reports were also shared with the princess' parents in Aurora, as both sets of parents eagerly awaited the day when Yunho would agree to the arranged marriage.
As much as they were rulers of their kingdoms, they were also parents to their children.
While your parents bore the weighty responsibility for the welfare of your kingdom and its people, they fervently hoped to spare you from an utterly loveless marriage that could subject you to potential mistreatment from an apathetic spouse.
Their genuine desire rested on the Prince of Wonderland's acceptance of you, with the hope that affection would develop over time, all while forging a harmonious bond between your respective realms. You were, after all, their only daughter and they weren't entirely heartless.
Beneath their regal exteriors was compassion for you.
If worse comes to worst, they were prepared to alter their strategies and seek a more suitable match for you.
The truth was that you were originally pledged to wed Prince San of Utopia, a strategic move aimed at bolstering the economy, consolidating authority and expanding your territorial holdings. If it weren't for the impending conflict between Wonderland and Aurora, your union with San might have already taken place.
Back then, your parents deemed it less advantageous for Aurora to merely grow stronger through an alliance with Utopia, knowing that it would eventually still culminate in a costly war with Wonderland. It was during this pivotal moment that their priorities shifted, with the king and queen of Aurora deciding that averting war held more importance.
Yet, if Prince Yunho of Wonderland remained obstinate in his refusal to cooperate, they were prepared to consider risking war if it meant securing a more promising marriage prospect for their daughter.
With Utopia's support, Aurora could potentially secure victory against Wonderland without undue hardship.
This, ultimately, constituted your parents' contingency plan.
Though they hoped it would never have to come down to that.
As time passes, Yunho and you can no longer deny the growing attraction between you.
You secretly spend more time together, leading to many heartfelt conversations and shared experiences that further strengthen the bond between you.
Neither of you had been entirely sure of your feelings for each other until one particular evening when you decided to sneak out to town.
Yunho was determined to show you how vibrant and exciting life could be in Wonderland, especially after you had been making endless jokes about his kingdom being gloomy and depressing.
Dressed in the simplest clothing he could find in his wardrobe, he patiently awaited your arrival by the secret passage leading to the town. Yunho had discovered this hidden path during his teenage years, with the assistance of a younger and more rebellious Yeosang.
Embarrassingly enough, he found himself momentarily frozen when he first saw you in casual attire.
You had to bring him back to reality by waving your hands in front of his face, grinning when you noticed the faint blush on his cheeks.
For Yunho, it was incredibly difficult to take his eyes off you that night. His natural protectiveness over you had been triggered by the absence of your guard, Mingi. To his dismay, he wasn't the only one who had his eyes on you. Your beauty was just a natural magnet to all beings around you, attracting looks from almost everyone passing by.
Even in a simple cream-coloured gown, likely borrowed from one of your maids, Yunho couldn't help but wonder how you managed to radiate such elegance and charm.
However, Yunho was oblivious to the fact that you were equally captivated by his appearance. It was your first time seeing him dressed so casually and you were awestruck by how attractive he looked. You couldn't help but wonder if he was aware of the effect he had.
As you strolled through the night market, side by side, there had been many heart-fluttering moments between you all throughout the night.
Upon your arrival, you stumbled upon a street performer whose humorous antics made you both burst into uncontrollable laughter. You later dared each other to try exotic street foods like spicy skewers and strange-looking desserts. Watching each other's reactions as you savoured these new flavours brought moments of playful intimacy.
A street musician catches your attention when he suddenly begins playing a sweet, melodic tune on his guitar. Yunho, with a smile, pulled you into a spontaneous dance under the moonlight, leaving your heart racing. It felt different from all the times you'd danced together during the many formal events and ceremonies.
With your arms circled around his neck and his hand firmly on your waist, he pulls you impossibly close. Your heart pounds twice as fast as your trembling eyes meet his in a deep gaze, you wonder if he felt what you felt too.
But it wasn't until his gaze fell upon your lips that your breath hitched. His eyes were unreadable, he seemed to have a million thoughts going through his mind before he looked back into your eyes, smiling assuringly at you.
Feeling flustered, you nestled your head against the space between his neck and shoulder, seeking refuge from his intense gaze. Yunho's heart melted and he gently rested his cheek against the side of your head.
Deep beneath your hearts, you'd both wished for time to remain frozen and for this moment to last forever.
Neither you nor Yunho bothered to correct the musician when he called you a lovely pair of newlyweds. Instead, you both exchanged shy smiles with each other before gracefully sauntering away.
As the night went on, you found yourselves at a candle-lit vendor stall, choosing handcrafted candles together. The vendor's stories about the meaning behind each candle's design further deepened your connection.
Next, you stumbled upon an antique shop tucked away in a corner. As you explored the treasures within, you exchanged stories of your past, revealing vulnerable moments and secrets, which drew you closer.
Nearing the end of your tour, you found a secluded bench to rest before returning to the palace. The night sky above was clear and you both paused to gaze at the stars. The moment felt magical, it was almost as if the universe itself was conspiring to bring you together.
"So, is Wonderland still as 'gloomy and depressing' as you'd previously described it to be?" The prince questioned cheekily, making dramatic air quotes as you laughed, "Fine, guess I was wrong about that. It's pretty amazing, I suppose."
It was getting late and Yunho knew he had to take you back soon, no matter how reluctant he was to do so.
In an attempt to prolong your little date by a bit more, he offered to buy you a pack of those candied fruits he recalled you saying you liked to enjoy together before leaving.
"Wait for me, I'll be back real quick."
You watched endearingly as the prince squeezed his way through the crowd to get to the dessert stall where you'd stopped by earlier. This Yunho was so different from the one you had first met, he was making it hard for you not to catch any feelings.
Lost in your own thoughts, you failed to notice a drunkard approaching you from a dimly lit nearby alley.
Startled, you emitted a gasp of surprise as he harshly gripped your arm and abruptly yanked you from your seat, "Wait a moment, I know you. Aren't you that darn princess from Aurora?" His words struck you like a thunderclap, and his narrowing eyes bore into you ominously.
How could he have possibly recognised me?
"S-sir, I think you've been mistaken. I'm no princess, just a commoner like you," You couldn't help but recoil at the sight of his discoloured teeth as he clenched them menacingly, "Don't you dare deceive me, girl! Your accent betrays you; I know you're not from around here!"
With wide, frightened eyes, you struggled desperately to free yourself from his rough grasp, which was sure to leave a bruise on your wrists, "N-no, please!"
There were no words to capture the terror coursing through you as he attempted to drag you into the alley from which he had emerged, "You'll pay for what your people have done to me! Thanks to you Aurora scum, I've lost my family!"
You looked around frantically in search of Yunho, tears threatening to spill from your eyes as you cried out his name desperately for help.
"Shut up, bitch. How dare you taint the name of my prince with that filthy mouth of yours." The man growls, your heart stopping as he bends down to pick up a shard of shattered beer glass from the ground.
Just as he swung the shard toward you, a tall figure leapt between you and the man, wrapping you tightly in his arms and instantly turning you away to shield you from the attack. He took the blow on your behalf, a sizable gash now marring his back.
The drunkard froze in place, realising the injury he had inflicted upon his own prince, "Oh, my prince! I had not intended to harm you; it was meant for her-"
Turning his head to direct a scathing glare at the man, Yunho sneered, "How audacious of you to attempt an assault on royalty. Do you realise that she is to become your future princess?" The man fell to his knees, begging for forgiveness, "Leave my sight at once. You will not escape so lightly should you ever attempt such a thing again."
Yunho shifted his focus back to you once the drunkard had hastily departed, looking you over for any signs of injury.
Once assured of your well-being, he pulled you tight into his embrace. He couldn't get over the way his heart lurched in his chest at the sight of you being manhandled by the drunk homeless man.
Tears flowed down your cheeks as the realisation dawned that the prince had indeed heard your desperate pleas for help. You found yourself sobbing, torn between profound relief and a gnawing sense of guilt.
You were relieved, beyond words, that he had come to your rescue. Yet, the guilt weighed heavily on your heart, knowing that you were the reason he had been hurt. Swiftly, you pulled away from him, turning him around to inspect his injury. To your astonishment, your eyes widened in shock.
"We must return immediately! You need medical attention, Yunho!" You exclaimed urgently.
Not wanting to further distress you, Yunho nodded in agreement. Together, you made your way back to the palace. Along the journey, he handed you the crumpled bag of candied fruits he had kept in his pocket this whole time.
"Here, please stop crying. I like it better when you smile." He said, his lips curving into a fond chuckle. Your response was to cry even harder at his touching gesture.
"I'm sorry for leaving you behind," Yunho admitted with a sigh, "I should have taken you with me," Your brow furrowed in confusion, "Why should you be sorry? You saved me, Yunho! And now, you're injured because of me."
With a tender sigh, he pressed a gentle kiss to your temple as the palace gates drew nearer.
This was indeed an unforgettable night.
Yeri and Mingi were utterly startled when they learned about your recent adventure with the prince, an escapade that had placed you perilously close to harm's way. In fact, the entire royal staff shared their incredulity. As a result, security measures around the palace grounds had been heightened significantly to prevent any recurrence of such incidents.
Nevertheless, the prince and the princess seemed to have drawn closer in the wake of these events. You faithfully visited Yunho daily to monitor his recovery and ensure he received the necessary rest.
The recent days had been remarkably peaceful, and judging from the interactions between the two, there was a palpable sense of optimism among those who observed them. It seemed that perhaps, at long last, the prince might come to terms with the arranged marriage with the princess.
Unfortunately for you all, the peace only lasted so long.
One day, as you spent time with Yunho in his garden, Yeosang abruptly burst in, his breathless urgency disrupting the tranquil atmosphere. He conveyed the news that you had never imagined could transpire.
"We're under attack, and by 'we,' I mean both Wonderland and Aurora," He gasped out, causing you to leap from your seat in shock, "What- by who?" You demanded, your voice quaking.
The advisor swallowed hard before responding, "It's Utopia. We suspect they are displeased with Aurora for terminating their alliance to form a new one with us instead."
Utopia, long thought to be peaceful, had suddenly launched a surprise attack on both you and Yunho's kingdoms. For generations, the neighbouring kingdom of Utopia had been a beacon of peace and tranquillity on the horizon.
But on this fateful morning, a shockwave of dread rippled through both Wonderland and Aurora as the tranquil facade of Utopia shattered.
You sank back into your chair, a sense of hopelessness washing over you as you gazed up at Yeosang, "Is there any chance I could have a conversation with Prince San? We've shared a close bond since childhood. If I could just speak with him, perhaps we could find a resolution without resorting to further violence."
Detecting the despair in your voice, Yunho offered a comforting gesture by gently covering your hand with his own. It was a silent reassurance that you were not alone in this ordeal, that he would stand by your side throughout the entire journey.
The advisor nodded in response, his tone assuring, "I'll do my best to arrange it. It shouldn't be too difficult if he's willing to meet with you."
You marvelled at Yeosang's ability to work swiftly, and soon enough, you found yourself granted a brief audience with San. Despite your insistence on meeting him alone, Yunho vehemently protested, vowing never to allow you to do something so dangerous on your own.
And so, it was how you and Yunho came to be seated across from Prince San of Utopia, a figure from your childhood and the person who should have been your betrothed by now.
As expected, his expression brimmed with heartfelt apologies.
San retained the gentleness and caring nature you had known throughout your shared history. He candidly admitted that this was all orchestrated by his parents, emphasising his own reluctance and powerlessness to halt their plans.
"Believe me, I tried everything within my ability to dissuade them from this reckless course of action. However, my father felt deeply betrayed by your parents for abruptly breaking our long-standing alliance."
San rubs his neck sheepishly, "You understand how eagerly my parents had anticipated our union. Your sudden change of heart and the decision to arrange a marriage with the Prince of Wonderland, of all people, appeared to our people as if you were abandoning your friends to align with the enemy."
Your face fell as you comprehended the unfavourable perception that had taken hold among the people of Utopia. In hindsight, you realised it was difficult to blame them for their anger.
"But, of course, this doesn't excuse my father's decision to attack your kingdoms." San continued earnestly.
"I stand firmly against this aggression, just as you do. However, my position as the prince of Utopia places me in a precarious situation. I cannot betray my own nation to support you directly. What I can pledge is my commitment to not interfere in any way. I won't participate in this conflict, that much I can assure you."
With San's explanations, you gained a clearer understanding of the circumstances that led to the current crisis.
While Yunho watched on, harbouring a trace of jealousy, you bid farewell to the Utopian prince with a tight embrace. San whispered kind words in your ear before placing a gentle kiss on your forehead, offering his good wishes and luck for the challenging road ahead.
Armed with this newfound knowledge, you promptly corresponded with your parents in Aurora to notify them of the latest developments.
Despite your parents' earnest attempts to de-escalate the situation through diplomatic negotiations with the Utopian rulers, it became evident that quelling their anger was no simple task. It appeared that the only viable path forward was to prepare for the impending conflict, as the prospect of war loomed inevitably.
The unexpected and brutal surprise attack launched by Utopia's forces leaves the people of Wonderland and Aurora reeling in disbelief. The peace they had cherished for so long was now under siege and their very survival hung in the balance.
Your kingdoms, though distinct in culture and tradition, were suddenly united by a common enemy that threatened to engulf you in an unending nightmare. Forced into an alliance born out of dire necessity, the people of Wonderland and Aurora put aside their prior differences and prejudices.
In the midst of the chaos and devastation, you and Yunho found yourselves facing an unthinkable reality.
You and the prince were gathered in the meeting chamber where you were scheduled to meet not only with the king but also with some of Wonderland's most influential figures, including generals and other military leaders, to discuss war strategies.
As you waited for the meeting to commence, an overwhelming sense of guilt gnawed at you, and you felt the need to seize the moment and extend an apology to the prince.
"I'm truly sorry, Yunho. If it weren't for our decisions, this devastating war wouldn't have befallen Wonderland either. Now you're embroiled in this conflict as well." You confessed with remorse.
Yunho shook his head, a faint smile gracing his lips as he gently tilted your chin upward, causing you to meet his gaze.
"You do realise that war would have inevitably reached Wonderland regardless, yes?" He replied, his words carrying a weight of resignation, "The difference lies in whether it's a war with Aurora or Utopia. And you know what? I'd much prefer to stand beside you in this fight. So, thank you for coming to me."
Your heart leapt at his words which felt almost like a confession.
The prince's unwavering eyes remained fixed on yours and just as he leaned in closer, his nose brushed against yours, Mingi loudly cleared his throat, snapping you out of your reverie and interrupting the delicate moment.
Yunho directed a disapproving glare at your guard but soon grasped the reason behind his actions, as the arrival of other attendees signalled the commencement of the meeting.
Thankfully, everyone else had been too distracted by the gravity of the situation to notice your slightly flustered state.
As you and the prince work together to assess the scale of the threat and develop a strategic response, the bond between you grows even stronger than it already is. It was a connection forged not only by your shared responsibility to protect your people but also by the vulnerability and uncertainty of the situation you found yourselves in.
Through this, you discovered that your strengths complemented each other beautifully. Yunho's tactical brilliance and leadership skills blended seamlessly with your sharp intellect and diplomatic finesse.
Through long nights of planning and strategising, you began to trust and rely on each other implicitly.
In the dimly lit courtyard, the air was heavy with anticipation and worry. Prince Yunho of Wonderland stood resolute, clad in his regal armour, his sword gleaming at his side.
Beside him, your eyes brimmed with concern about the inevitable separation.
During your many discussions, you'd insisted on going to war by his side but he had protested and convinced everyone that it would be wiser to keep you in the palace as backup. Deep down, you know it was merely a tactic to keep you safe.
Yunho gazed into your eyes, a gentle smile playing on his lips as he brushed a strand of hair from your face.
"Remember," He began softly, "I promised to return safely," His voice was unwavering, filled with conviction, "I hope you understand it's crucial that you remain here in the palace, as a beacon of strength and hope for our people. You'll be our guiding light."
You nodded, your eyes shimmering with unshed tears.
Yunho continued, his voice tender and persuasive, "Staying here is the right choice, my princess. You will provide the vital support we need from within these walls. Trust in my determination. I'll do everything in my power to ensure our victory."
As you reluctantly released each other's hands, Yunho planted a tender kiss on your forehead, a final gesture of reassurance.
With unwavering resolve, he turned to depart, leaving behind the woman he now knows he cherished, fully determined to fulfil his promise and return to your side.
And since the day he left to fight the war that your kingdom caused, your days had been marked by waiting, your heart a constant blend of hope and fear. You paced the palace corridors, restless but steadfast, watching the horizon for any sign of Yunho's return.
As time crawled by, whispers of the war's progress reached your ears. Each tidbit of news was a double-edged sword, carrying both relief and anxiety. You clung to the words of those who assured you of Yunho's valour and the strength of your armies.
Then, one fateful day, a messenger arrived, breathless and dishevelled. He bore news of victory, but it came at a price. Your heart raced as you learned that Yunho had been injured in the final battle.
Despite the fear that clenched your heart, there was a glimmer of hope. The prince was on his way back to the palace, victorious yet wounded. You could hardly contain your emotions—relief, worry and an overwhelming desire to see him safe and sound.
With bated breath and tears of both joy and anxiety in your eyes, you readied yourself to welcome the prince home, ready to tend to his wounds, grateful that he was coming back to you.
As Yunho stirred from his week-long coma, he couldn't have been more elated to find you as the first sight that greeted his awakening. You were perched on your elbows by his bedside, fast asleep with tear-stained cheeks.
The sight of you tugged at his heartstrings, a profound realisation washing over him. He knew then, without a shadow of a doubt, that waking up to you each day was what he yearned for.
Gently placing a hand on your cheek to tenderly wipe away your tears, he took care not to disturb your slumber. He breathed a contented sigh as you instinctively nestled into his touch in your sleep.
Gosh, I could watch her like this forever.
But of course, the peace was short-lived like always. Just as Yeosang entered and spotted him awake, the serene moment vanished with the advisor's enthusiastic shout, "He's awake!" echoing down the corridor to summon the attention of the healers.
Yunho silently cursed when the sound roused you from your sleep.
You sat up abruptly, realisation dawning as you discovered he was finally conscious, "Oh my god, Yunho!" You threw your arms around his neck and enveloped him in a tight embrace. Returning your embrace with equal fervour, he buried his face against your shoulder, hearing your whispered words, "It's over, it's finally over."
Although he understood that you were referring to the end of the war with Utopia, he seized the moment to confess his feelings for you.
"No, it's not over yet," You pulled away, a look of confusion crossing your face, "What do you mean it's not over? We won the war, didn't we?"
He smiled, his fingers caressing your face tenderly.
"It's not over until you tell me if you're willing to marry me. If you haven't already noticed, I love you, princess. I can't pinpoint when it all began, but after all the time we've spent together and all the trials we've faced, I only know that I can't bear to spend another day without you by my side. Throughout that war, the one thing that kept me going was the thought of returning to you and asking you myself; Will you marry me?"
At long last, Yunho admits to himself and you that he's fallen in love with you. Lucky for him, you felt exactly the same.
You smiled tearfully back at him, "I thought you'd never ask, Yunho. I love you too, my prince. And the answer is yes, I will marry you." Putting a hand up to stop the healers and Yeosang from entering, he wasted no time pressing his lips firmly against yours in a passionate and emotional kiss.
Finally.
Not wanting to cockblock the pair any further, the servants scurried to pull the doors to the prince's bed chambers closed to give the two some privacy for the time being.
Now, all that's left for the prince to do is man up and speak to his parents about this.
In the opulent royal chamber of the palace, Prince Yunho, his demeanour a mix of determination and vulnerability, stood before his parents. You had initially offered to go with him but he had refused, telling you that this was something he had to do on his own.
With a steady voice and unwavering eyes, he expressed his heartfelt desire.
"Mother, father," He began, "I wish to marry the Princess of Aurora now, without delay." His words carried a depth of conviction that resonated through the room.
His parents, the king and queen of Wonderland, exchanged knowing glances. A warm, teasing smile crept onto their faces as they responded to their son's heartfelt request.
"Well, well," The queen quipped with a playful glint in her eye, "It seems our prince has finally surrendered to the inevitability of an arranged marriage."
The king chuckled in agreement, his tone light yet affectionate, "Indeed, my son. It's about time you acknowledged the wisdom of our arrangements."
Yunho, while blushing slightly at their playful teasing, nodded with a genuine smile.
His parents' gentle ribbing was a testament to their shared understanding and affectionate bond. It marked the beginning of a new chapter in his life—one filled with the promise of love, unity and a bright future with the princess he had come to cherish.
Meanwhile, back in Aurora, your parents brimmed with joy upon receiving the news. They got to work immediately with the wedding arrangements.
Swiftly, an official announcement about the union of the Prince of Wonderland and the Princess of Aurora was made to the people of both nations.
In the wake of the collective struggle against Utopia, the people had found a way to set aside their differences and grievances.
Together, they rejoiced in their newfound unity, celebrating not only the alliance between the two kingdoms but also their triumphant victory over Utopia. The past was relegated to history and a promising future beckoned, marked by cooperation, harmony and shared aspirations.
"Congratulations, my dear princess," Yeri grinned as she took a step back, admiring her handiwork. Your hair and makeup were flawless, "Thank you, Yeri, for standing by my side through it all," You expressed your gratitude, "I hope you've grown accustomed to Wonderland because we'll be here for the long haul."
Yeri chuckled, "Oh, princess, I didn't come here with the expectation of returning to Aurora. I suppose deep down, I knew this is where you truly belong—right by Prince Yunho's side."
A delicate blush warmed your cheeks at the mention of your soon-to-be husband.
Yeri regarded you with affection, her gaze filled with sincerity, "You look so genuinely happy these days, princess. That's all I've ever wished for you—happiness. Promise me you'll keep this joy alive for a long time."
You nodded, tears shimmering in your eyes, "I will, Yeri, I promise."
"Don't you dare shed a tear; I spent ages on your eye makeup!" Yeri quipped and you both shared a laugh. Your heart swelled with warmth when you noticed Mingi, your closest guard, wearing a subtle smile in his corner, "I see you there, Song Mingi." You teased.
He scoffed lightly, "I wasn't trying to hide. But congratulations, your highness." Touched by his gesture, you approached Mingi and hugged him, careful not to disrupt your wedding gown.
At that moment, the bond between you and your loyal guard and handmaiden was a testament to the enduring friendships that had guided you through the journey to this joyous occasion.
In the resplendent palace courtyard, where the sun bathed the surroundings in a warm, golden glow, the Prince of Wonderland and the Princess of Aurora stood before their families, their subjects, and the benevolent eyes of the heavens.
With heartfelt sincerity, you exchanged vows, your voices carrying the weight of your love and commitment. Yunho's voice, steady and unwavering, vowed to cherish and protect you for all time, while your words promised to stand by his side through all the trials and joys that life would bring.
As you concluded your vows, the air seemed to hold its breath, witnessing this profound declaration of love.
The moment that followed was pure magic—a sweet, tender kiss that sealed your promises and marked the beginning of your journey together as husband and wife. The world around you faded, leaving only the prince and princess, lost in the warmth of your love and the promise of a beautiful future ahead.
The kingdoms of Wonderland and Aurora have come together not only through the arranged marriage but also through the genuine love and connection between Prince Yunho and his princess.
Your union becomes a symbol of lasting peace.
Gazing out from the balcony of your and Yunho's bed chambers, you released a contented sigh, entranced by the breathtaking view of Wonderland.
Never had you imagined such a reality for yourself.
Marriage had always appeared as a mere obligation, a duty that came with your role as the princess of your realm. Yet, here you stood, wedded to the love of your life.
It was beyond anything you could have hoped for.
Reflecting on your initial apprehension at the prospect of marrying Yunho, you chuckled at the insignificance of those fears now.
Your lips curled into a smile as the familiar embrace of strong arms enveloped you from behind, drawing your form close to his, the contrast in your sizes a comforting reminder of his protective presence.
"What are you doing out here all alone, hm? Come back to bed, my love," He murmured, pressing affectionate kisses along your exposed neck, "Just reminiscing about how silly we were at the start. Look at us now, so happy together."
Yunho's smile illuminated the night as he gently turned you to face him, "I'm glad that marrying for love is no longer only a dream never to come true for you," He whispered before capturing your lips in a loving kiss, "I love you so much, my princess."
A swell of joy filled your heart, a testament to the boundless depth of your love, "I love you too, my prince. Thank you for making my dream come true."
In the realm of Wonderland and Aurora, where love had once been the cornerstone of your alliance, Prince Yunho and you, the Princess of Aurora, embarked on your journey of happily ever after.
Your union, born from an arranged marriage but nurtured by genuine love, was a symbol of unity and hope for your kingdoms.
Together, you ruled with wisdom, compassion and unwavering devotion to your people. The lands of Wonderland and Aurora flourished under your reign and the scars of past conflicts began to heal as the two kingdoms truly became one.
Hand in hand, you ventured through the seasons of life, sharing laughter, dreams and challenges. Your love, built on a foundation of trust and companionship, only deepened with time. Together, you found solace in each other's arms and the comfort of knowing you were each other's greatest support.
As the sun set over your united kingdoms, you stood on the balcony of your palace together, watching the horizon with hearts full of contentment.
Your journey had been one of growth, resilience and love, and you knew that your happily ever after would continue to unfold, a testament to the power of love in the face of adversity.
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Hope you enjoyed this and thank you for reading! I love reading your thoughts, reviews and feedback so feel free to leave a reply, an ask or even a message if you want! <3
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Tag list: @aurasblue
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All Rights Reserved © edenesth // DO NOT REPOST, TRANSLATE, PLAGIARISE OR REPURPOSE.
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mysteryshoptls · 7 months
Text
SSR Jack Howl - Platinum Jacket Vignette
"Happy 100th Anniversary"
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[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]
Jack: Oh, this painting has wolves in the snow chasing an intruder that was romping through their territory. Very brave of them.
Jack: And this painting… Ah, it's a wolf that raised an orphaned baby. Didn't know one did that.
Jack: There's so many wolves to be proud of.
Jack: ―Ah, oops. I can't help lingering whenever I see a painting of wolves. Since they invited me all the way out here, I should take a look at the other stuff as well.
Jack: Hm? What's that painting of those animals over there…?
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???: Oho? This is quite the tasteful art piece.
Jack: Oh you're… Malleus-senpai. So, you like this one, too?
Malleus: Indeed. It is truly a scene to behold that I could not help myself stopping before it.
Malleus: The sight of the baboon walking through the throng of animals, all whom have their heads bowed, is majestic and beautiful… Whatever could they be doing there?
Jack: I think this is… Yeah, a depiction of when all the animals gathered to celebrate the birth of their prince.
Jack: The baboon in the center there was respected by all the other animals as a real capable sorcerer.
Jack: Not only was he an amazing mage, he was also good at drawing, and was real strong, too.
Jack: Don't you think that's amazing? It's only natural that he'd remain in the history books, especially being that skilled.
Malleus: True, those with exceptional talents have a charming tendency to attract the attention of others.
Malleus: And you, Howl, seem to have quite the font of knowledge, with how you to readily are able to answer my queries...
Jack: Heh, I just a thing or two about the history of animals, since I'm a beastman, and all. Back when I was a kid, I'd have a ton of picture books, and I'd hear all about them.
Jack: But I think it was the tales of the King of Beasts that really made me actually go to the library and want to study more on it.
Jack: Take the fact that he was the leader of his pride. He must've been a head above everyone else in all his abilities.
Malleus: Heh… I'm certain that was the case. At any rate, it sounds to me as though this conversation has lit a fire inside of you.
Malleus: You seem to have some form of attachment to the King of Beasts.
Jack: I wouldn't say attachment… I just respect the way he pursued his life.
Malleus: Respect, I see. Well then, have you ever thought of seizing the position of pack leader as the King of Beasts did?
Jack: Nah. I don't like being part of a pack, and I'm not one for leadership.
Malleus: Oho? I was under the impression that wolves hunted in packs.
Jack: If we have the same end goal, sure, I'll team up with whoever. But it's not like I'll obediently wag my tail for everyone.
Jack: A pack leader needs to be wiser and more responsible than anyone else.
Jack: If the guy at the top makes the wrong judgement, then everyone else will suffer.
Malleus: So, you consider "wisdom" to be the key trait of a leader?
Jack: I mean, it's not enough to just be wise. They also have to be physically strong. There are folk out there that'll use sly and cowardly methods to do what they want.
Jack: If they don't have the strength to completely crush 'em down, they're not worthy of that spot at the top.
Malleus: Heh… You sure do tout some lofty expectations, Howl.
Jack: I just don't like compromising. And, since these are expectations, there'd be no point into setting them so low in the first place.
Jack: Sometimes people say I'm overly conscious, or a pain to deal with, but… So what?
Jack: No matter what anyone else might say, I follow what I believe in. I decided that long ago.
Malleus: Heh, I see that you're a rather stubborn one, Howl. However, I cannot say that pride is a terrible thing to have.
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[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]
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Jack: So, this museum also has a painting of a young lady wishing at a well, huh.
Jack: Back home… I mean, in the Shaftlands, you'd see this pretty much everywhere, but it's been a while since I've laid eyes on one, myself.
Malleus: Hm? Is this painting that well known in the Shaftlands?
Jack: Not really this painting, so much as the actual story behind it. To the point where you'd see artwork based on it displayed all over the country.
Jack: You'll get people tryin' to make a wish in the well like she does, too.
Jack: My little sister'll run to a well every time she sees one. Not like there's any proof that it'll grant her wish, but she still does.
Malleus: You make it sound as though you've never wished upon a well, Howl.
Jack: Uh, well… I did try when I was a kid… But only once.
Malleus: Oho, and why was that?
Jack: At the moment I tried to cast my wish, I fell into the well…
Jack: At the time, I was a little too short to look over the edge of the well. So, I tried to hoist myself over the rim, but I put a little too much oomph into it.
Jack: It was an old well, so there wasn't any water, but a huge pile of fallen leaves, so I didn't get hurt… But it did startle me pretty bad then.
Jack: On top of that, that well was in the middle of the forest, where people didn't really walk past. No matter how hard I yelled, no one came by.
Malleus: What misfortune. However, as you are standing here before me today, I must assume that someone did indeed come and save you.
Jack: Nope, I got out by myself. Luckily, the inside of the well had real blocky walls, so I was able to use them as footholds as I climbed out.
Jack: But that definitely wasn't easy. Back then, I wasn't training or nothing, so I didn't really have any muscles, either.
Jack: I thought I was going to fall so many times, but somehow, I got out of there…
Jack: As soon as I got out of the well, I collapsed, 'cause I was so exhausted and just couldn't move for a while.
Jack: I really thought I was in a huge pinch there, but… At the same time, I was also a pretty impressed.
Malleus: Impressed…?
Jack: Yeah. I was having trouble just climbing up to the edge of the well in the first place, but then I was able to climb the whole well up to the surface.
Jack: I was able to do something that I didn't think I'd be able to do. That means that any wish can be granted…
Jack: SO LONG AS I HAVE STRENGTH AND MUSCLES!!!
Jack: So, basically, anytime I'd have extra time that would have otherwise been spent wishing on a well, I just worked out, instead.
Malleus: Fufu, you truly found an extreme approach… But I see. Essentially, this incident was not completely misfortunate.
Jack: Yeah, I'd say so. I think I'm how I am now, because of what happened there.
Jack: Now that I'm thinking of why I got into all this training, I kind of want to work out now.
Jack: When I get back to campus, I'm going to throw myself into my training even more, so that I can overcome anything I encounter with my own power!
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[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]
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Jack: The Queen of Hearts, huh… I feel like I see her depicted alongside animals a lot.
Malleus: True. However, that is a rather unusual bird.
Malleus: It appears to be a flamingo; however I've never seen a lime green one in my life.
Jack: From what I heard, in the country that the Queen of Hearts ruled over there were flamingos of various colors, not just pink.
Jack: When Heartslabyul do their traditional croquet tournaments, they use magic to color the animals to match this tale.
Malleus: Oho? You certainly know much about this.
Jack: Me and those two from Ramshackle got invited by Ace and Deuce to play croquet with them, so…
Jack: It's just something I heard back then.
Jack: …Ugh, man. Talking about it reminded me of how I lost pretty bad then.
Malleus: Those in Heartslabyul are quite familiar with croquet. Is it not surprising to lose to them?
Jack: Even if I've never played it before, I'm usually pretty good at any sport I try. Only…
Jack: The croquet they play in Heartslabyul has real weird rules, and you need to get the animals to work with you.
Jack: During our game, the flamingo and hedgehogs were nervous only with me, so they didn't move like I was hoping they would.
Jack: They weren't scared of Grim and [Yuu], even though they were also playing with us...
Jack: The fact that I lost without being able to do anything really frustrates me.
Jack: Or more like… Can that game even be called a sport, in the first place?
Malleus: Certainly, I would agree that it is a far cry different from what one would consider an ordinary sport. I was also surprised when I first observed it.
Jack: You think so too, right!? It's just weird, needing to work alongside the animals like that...
Jack: Seeing that all the sport-loving types in my dorm haven't ever played it before…
Jack: I really don't think they could even be put in the same category. But I can't deny that I did lose the game.
Jack: When the next time comes that I play croquet with them, I can't show a terrible display like that again.
Jack: So that just means that I have to keep up in my Animal Linguistics classes!
Malleus: I see. So, ever since you lost, you've been continuing to improve yourself.
Malleus: They do say that the languages of smaller animals is rather difficult to absorb. Good for you, putting your all into even a mere game.
Jack: That's 'cause I don't want to lose the same game twice. Next time, I'll make Ace and Deuce lose face.
Malleus: Fufu, I shall hope for your efforts to be successful.
Malleus: ―Well then, I shall make my way to a different exhibit. You should also make an effort to look at some more of your favorite paintings.
Jack: …There he goes. He just does his own thing, huh? I really don't know what goes through his head.
Jack: Well, whatever. I guess I'll head towards another exhibit too. …Hm? This painting…
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Jack: Ah, a lion prince, and his hornbill attendant. Heh, how can such a pathetic lookin' lion really become king?
Jack: I'll only ever accept someone strong. If they're to be king, they need to have the power to crush all greedy and sleazy people down.
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Requested by Anonymous.
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not-goldy · 6 months
Note
Sometimes I wish Jimin stop being so secretive on cam and basically a wallflower. I wish he speaks up more and calls out BS immediately, especially during lives like JK/Tae or Joon does or is it because he doesn't get much wierd comments 🤔. Also stop being so fucking humble.. like sir you are a history maker, everything you release are organic hits, have a huge fanbase, your bdays are celebrated as Christmas day, why tf would you think you don't even deserve a music show win ?????? Own your success and skills please 🤧
And I also wish JK stop being so impulsive, saying and doing absolute dumbest things 🤧 sometimes he sounds like those cocky boys who will say they'll make you come thrice in a row and will climax within 2 seconds lol. He's so cocky; knows he's hot and his impact but at the same time he still don't know what he really needs. So I wish he becomes more mature and get his shit together asap
Maybe if they use share these qualities a bit with each other it will be fine lol. JK sharing some of his cockiness with Jimin so he can go 'yeah that me, Park Jimin' bitches 💅' and Jimin sharing some of his level headness with JK, so he can think before doing and saying some things 🥲
Idk how they are even navigating through their relationship when both are on opposite ends of attitude and lifestyles, like is that even possible ? Won't both parties get sick of each other soon? ... or maybe like you said JK is the freedom Jimin is craving for and Jimin is the leash JK very much needed 🤷‍♀️
Set me free was liberating for me and I think Jungkook too cos he stamped his approval on it like you could tell Jimin frustrates him sometimes with the kill them with kindness vibes he has going on.
And I know Jimin is not a push over too cos there's some really hard core ghettoness buried deep inside his slytherine heart- he is the master of self control cos I'll be getting canceled every second if I were him🥲🥲🥲
I'll be dropping mid night rants talking bout yall could never be me😭😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Hash tag jealous
Hash tag up in your man's arms 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
And he lowkey be shading too but we don't talk about that🥲
He's constantly trolling haters posting Jungkook shirtless, leaning on him kissing up on him daring yall to come for Kook if he's your mans💔💔💔💔
This literally him on these streets he eats and wink
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Shade is cool Jimin but throw the damn tree too🤣
They are both fascinating.
Oh lord not 2 seconds 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
You is going to hell for that😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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Not gonna lie, I do enjoy his chaotic character most times. I'm big on diversity. If everyone acted the same way they'd be boring as hell plus I like my BTS a tad crackheads🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
JUNGKOOK'S a vibe. Not many idols like him. He be be tanking on the idol part sometimes- I don't think he even sees or thinks of himself as an idol😭😭🤣🤣
An idol is a whole personna carefully curated to appeal to an audience- when I tell you Jungkook ain't curating shit for no one and to please no one😭😭😭😭😭
Tell him to do aigoo I dare ya🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭😭
Sometimes I just play his memes and sleep. It's the new Netflix and chill for me.
Doesn't take himself too too serious, easy going non judgemental, quirky😭😭😭
And he is very relatable. We all don't say the right things all the time, or do the right things and overthink everything.
Some people don't find that attractive in Idols but I like it. That that I like that
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Im a bit of a crack head myself so.... anywho
For an idol, yea perhaps he could be a bit more controlled and polished but not too much cos then he'd lose relatability and seem outta touch.
Frankly I think they are both perfect as they are💀
I wouldn't change much but you are right they both could influence eachother a bit and they do TRUST. 💜
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kxmpfflieger · 6 months
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I wish to be upfront about a few things
Hey gang, let's have a talk about the future of this account.
In truth, I no longer wish to associate myself with the history community, specifically the Great War subsection I've actively participated in for the last (three-ish?) years.
I'm going to be blunt and say that it is because of the people I've come across. This place is a minefield, and every second mine that blows up in your face starts a chain reaction worse than the last. Its terrible. Ive hated it. And my only mistake has been not openly stepping down a year ago like I originally wanted. There's been a LOT of unsavory characters that I have followed and supported unknowingly, and people that I've just encountered out in the wild that just made me sick to my stomach. Despite my better judgement, I've persisted, but I recognise the toll it has taken on my mental health is really not worth any of this.
To add insult to injury, actively being in the history community has made me scared of engaging with other communities in fear of being ousted for the stigma WW/Imperial Germany art can carry in general, and its become a problem the more I've grown tired and fallen out of love with this material.
I wish to branch out, I don't want to be associated with this community anymore because of the shit I've seen and how insensitive and out-of-touch a lot of the people seem to be about such serious subjects.
My relationship with Martyrs is definitely not what it used to be, same goes for the "source material". I wish I could tell you a few bad apples didnt spoil the basket, but they did. In truth, I've lost the love I held for it.
A mix of the rancid experiences I've had with the community this past year, combined with the fact publishing comics as a One Man Team is something I wouldn't wish upon anyone (burnout, impostor syndrome, having to deal with carpal tunnel for the rest of my life now partially because of it, off the top of my head).
I don't want to drop the comic nor the characters I've made, developed and invested myself in for the past two years of my life. I need time to heal my relationship with my art, Martyrs in its entirety, and just broaden my horizons with other fandoms instead of limiting myself to one thing. I will not abandon what I've worked so hard for, but I need time to pull myself back up.
I don't plan on stopping art of the characters entirely. But please be aware that if that was the only content you followed me for, you will have to deal with lots of other unrelated stuff from now on.
Getting myself lost in the absolute minefield this place is (the ww community) is not something I wish to do again. I dont want to be considered a member of it. I want to be an outsider occasionally dropping by. Only surface level stuff with art of my characters and comic, that's it.
I'm grateful for the connections and the wonderful close friends I've made. For all the lovely fan-works and words of love and endorsement I've received. But I need to take better care of myself, and there are very clear and specific steps I need to take to do so. I debated making this post in the first place and just phasing out ww art out slowly overtime, but doing so didnt feel right.
If you wish to unfollow me after this, please go ahead. You're not obligated to stay, nor am I obligated to keep you here. Thank you for sharing this journey with me for the past two years.
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blubushie · 2 months
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Weird as hell being told another man would hold you and rock you and getting emotional about it. Especially when you haven't been held by another bloke like that since you were a child. And that boy also stopped being your friend because he found out you liked boys and was cool with it until you liked him too and then you stopped being The Good Faggot and just became a faggot.
What the fuck do you mean I'm a human being with human emotions and it's ok to want to be held by another man without judgement or him thinking a certain way about me. No that's gay shit that's for those feminine gays that's not me. I don't want that I don't NEED that I don't need ANYONE actually and I'm fine being alone forever and never even looking at another man and wishing he'd hold me cuz that's gay.
But the thought persists and I think of men I've known and spent time around and if they act a certain way or look a certain way I inherently feel INFERIOR and it's a constant need to prove myself and my masculinity to them so they don't think I'm one of those other men. And there's nothing wrong with being one of those other men, it's just that that's NOT ME but everyone ASSUMES IT IS because of how I look. If a bloke is taller than me I can't be short girlfriend. If a bloke is taller than me I can't be the bottom during a root. If a bloke is taller or smarter or more masculine I constantly have to prove that I can compete, I can endure, I can be just like him and BETTER because if I DON'T I'm not man enough, I'm not male enough, my chromosomes betray me and I'm the girl I was genetically supposed to be before my anatomy fucked itself and I constantly have to PROVE. If I wasn't short if I wasn't intersex and I FAILED it would just be lack of skill or lack of a something else but it wouldn't be "because you were supposed to have been born a girl and your chromosomes and height reflect that."
But it means I miss out. I haven't been held by another man for 8 years. I've never danced with another man because I'd be the one holding onto him due to the height difference. And it enrages me. I want to I want to I want to but I CAN'T because more than I want to be held, more than I want to be danced with, more than I want to be kissed and assured and hugged and have fingers through my hair, more than anything I want to be seen as equal.
And I'll never be. And that really really sucks. And I wonder how many years are gonna keep going by where I don't let myself do things I want or need because despite my fear of how people perceive me I AM a man and my status is everything. I can't be lesser than and I don't want to be.
I HAVE to prove I'm better I HAVE to prove I'm more capable I have to prove it to myself or to the men around me or to the women or to GOD HERSELF that I am more than the sum of my parts I am more than the body she put me in I can rise above whatever fucking curse this is and be good. It's not enough to be good. I need to be BETTER. Better than I thought I could be, better than everyone around me, better than anyone ever thought I could be it's not enough to be good at something I have to excel I have to be THE BEST AT WHAT I DO or it's not enough. I don't want what they have I don't want to be them I wanna be better. I need to be better.
If I was tall I'd just be some bloke. If I was perisex I'd just be some bloke. But I'm not. I'm a short intersex man and so EVERYTHING is entwined, EVERYTHING is a catch, I am the short feminine bottom except that's NOT ME. That's all anyone ever assumes upon meeting me and trying to hook up and the amount of times I've gotten people ANGRY WITH ME for telling them that I don't bottom is insane. You wouldn't make that assumption if I wasn't short and androgynous!
So I just don't do things and it builds and it builds and it builds and then I'm told that yeah actually another man WOULD slow dance with me and hold me and press his face into my hair and he WOULDN'T think any different of me about it because I might like to be held sometimes I think that's pretty human but I'm also the bloke who hunts dangerous animals and is a fucking good shot and gets in pub fights and can sink piss better than anybody and can track anything that leaves a trail and can skin a rabbit in ten seconds and ties his own flies for fishing and I'm CAPABLE and my need for physical affection or the desire to just be HELD by another man doesn't change that.
And I'm left staring at my phone and crying and wondering why I'm so emotional and if maybe I really am just a faggot because men don't cry over just being held by someone. Even if it has been eight years. Even if he's desperate to just not feel alone for once. Even if.
But god, do I want to.
It's ok to reblog this but please DO NOT tag it with any trans tags. I love my trans siblings and I get that we might have similar experiences in some areas, but this is explicitly about my experience as an intersex man and homophobia I experienced growing up as a boy who was attracted to other boys, and how it's affected me as an adult man. I'd like that to be respected. You cannot separate this post from my experiences as an intersex man. Thank you.
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wrenreid · 11 months
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Off Limits
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content warnings: mutual masturbation, mentions of sex, idk what else
Part Twenty- Three
The way she tasted is forever burned into my mind. I could go the rest of my life living off of her. Her taste my fuel. Her sounds my hope.
I wanted to desperately to have more of her. To not only dip my tongue into her glorious essence but my whole body. A part of me wishes I would have given in and intertwined our bodies in the way we’ve both been craving, but the sensible side of me knows I did the right thing stopping before it went too far. I can’t explain it, but I know waiting is for the best somehow.
I keep staring at the watch on my right wrist, begging for the hands to tick faster. I’ve been on a case for a few days, and when we got back, I rushed through my paperwork. I don’t want to leave too early, so I’m waiting on the clock to strike 3.
Then I can see her.
Not so graciously, I hop out of my chair when the time finally comes. I grab my bag and practically speed walk to the elevator.
“Got somewhere to be, Reid?” Morgan asks me.
I don’t feel the need to explain myself to my friend, so I just nod and give my coworkers a little wave.
When I get to Jade’s place, she opens the door in a tank top and pajama shorts. I grin as my eyes rake down her body.
“It’s been a lazy day,” she defends herself.
“No judgement,” I chuckle softly and pull her into me so I can kiss her.
Jade pulls away with a smile. “How was the case?”
“Not too bad,” I tell her honestly. “But it was tortuous being away from you.”
She shakes her head with a chuckle. “You’re one for the dramatics, aren’t you, Spencer?”
“I’m one for the honest truth, even if it may sound dramatic.”
Jade smiles up at me again before pulling me down for another kiss. “What would you like to do?”
“I’m perfectly fine with this,” I tell her, holding onto her hips as I kiss her.
“We have about two hours before my dad gets home,” Jade says. “That���s quite enough time for this.”
I smile and lead her to the couch. It’s still weird making out with my boss’s daughter in his own home, but I try not to think about it as Jade sits on my lap with her hands roaming my chest.
“I missed you,” she says with a slight whine.
“I missed you too, Jade,” I admit, my hands holding her sweet face. I don’t admit that I’ve been craving her like an addict on the side of the street. Just one time with her was enough to get me hooked.
Her hands fiddle with my tie. Her eyes don’t meet mine. I can tell a hint of what she’s thinking.
Instead of mentioning her slightly somber expression, I lift her face up to meet mine and press my lips to hers. She kisses me back immediately. Her lips taste sweet, she must’ve eaten honey earlier.
I keep my hands respectfully on her face, trying not to let them roam. Hers stay on my shoulders.
Our lips intertwine passionately, the tension between us rising. She draws a low noise from my throat as she takes my bottom lip between her teeth. I can tell she’s trying to hint at taking this further, but she won’t make the first move.
I keep the tension between us somewhat at bay by just kissing. My head is telling me to keep it like this, keep it somewhat innocent, but my touch starved length is begging for me to touch her.
My hands move their way to her hips, holding onto her as our lips collide with heat. Jade’s getting restless, I know she wants me to touch her just as badly as I do.
After a while, she takes matters into her own hands, brushing her core against my lap. The contact makes my already partially erect crotch tingle.
I pull away from her lips, looking into her eyes with a slight warning. Jade pouts, sighing.
“What’s wrong, baby?” I ask, brushing my thumb against her hip bone.
“I want you,” she says.
“I know, I know. I want you too, but we need to take this slower,” I tell her with a frown of my own.
“Why? Why won’t you…?”
She trails off, knowing the answer. I rest my forehead against hers, holding her closer. “I’m sorry.”
“No. It’s okay,” Jade says. “I get it. You’re right.”
I kiss her lips softly before she gets off my lap. I wish she knew how much I truly wanted her.
“I’m assuming you haven’t eaten lunch?” I question Spencer as I stand up.
“You know me so well,” he laughs softly.
I roll my eyes playfully as I go to the kitchen to make him a sandwich. Once I’m done, I sit next to him and turn on the tv while he eats.
“You’re getting close to graduation,” he says with a smile down to me.
“I know. It’s kind of crazy,” I say. “But I still have three years of school after this, so it’s not too wild.”
“You’re going to do fucking amazing.”
I smile before dramatically saying, “Spencer Reid, did you just say a bad word?”
“Oh my apologies, ma’am,” he chuckles.
It’s not long before another case takes him away from me for a few days. I stay up later than usual to talk to Spencer on the phone after speaking to my dad.
He’s talking a little quiet just in case one of his coworkers from the neighboring hotel room is still up.
“You’re quite distracting, Jade.”
“Oh yeah? How so?”
He sighs playfully. “It’s hard to focus on criminals when all I can think about is how you taste.”
So he’s definitely a little horny right now. Honestly, so am I. My body reacts to his words with butterflies in my stomach.
“If only you were here right now,” I say.
“What would we do?”
He loves messing with me, getting me to say things out loud.
“Maybe you’d let me do some things for you like you did for me.”
“You’d want that?” Spencer asks.
“Perhaps.”
He chuckles softly on the other end of the phone. “I want to hear your pretty moans again.”
The blood rushes to my cheeks, burning red. “Maybe you can.”
“Oh?” I can tell he’s shocked by what I’m suggesting.
“Only if you want.”
“I want whatever you’ll give me right now.”
“I want you to tell me what to do. I like when you guide me,” I tell him, my voice soft.
“Yes ma’am,” he says, and I can hear the smile in his voice. “Slide your hand down. Touch yourself, baby.”
I do as he says, slipping my hands passed the waistband of my pajama pants. My two fingers touch my clit softly, and a small noise releases from my lips. I drag the wetness to my clit so I can rub circles easily.
“I’m so wet, Spencer,” I tell him, whining.
He draws in a breath, and I know he wishes he was here to feel it for himself. “Good. Touch yourself as fast as you want. Don’t be afraid to make noise, baby.”
I nod even though he can’t see me. I rub my clit fast enough to draw moans from my lips but not enough to get me squirming.
“You sound so pretty,” he says, his voice low and deep.
“Are you going to touch yourself?” I ask through soft whines.
“I already am, baby.”
I smile, biting my lip.
The two of us bring ourselves pleasure as we talk on the phone, guiding each other and moaning from our own ends of the call. This made me want him even more. I wish it were his fingers dipping inside me rather than my own, but if this is all I get for now, I’ll take it.
tags: @pauline5525mgg @theintimatewriter @lilibet261 @greysviolets @jazzymariexoxoc @one-sweet-gubler @thatsonezesty13 @necromaniackat @awhoreforspencerreid @sebs-oxygen @scarredelirium @bts-sugaplum @awesomeness1679 @preciousbabypeter @yazzyu @cynbx @r3idsp3ncer @1010lizz @tiredbut-here @skulzombiw @lena-1895 @eevee0722 @shakespear-picaso-lovechild @daydreamingqueen1 @regulus-black-223048 @virginmusicloverr36 @jazzerbelle14 @kylakins88 @f-me-reid @lovejules888 @marimorena06 @daph-421 @idkusername8787
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domripley · 6 months
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Left to Face This Alone - 4
pairing: rhea ripley x reader; eventual liv morgan x reader
warnings: noncon, victim blaming, forced oral sex on a strapon, facefucking, spit kink, degradation, mommy kink, dom comforting you some more and you confide in him but 🤭
(not my gif)
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The crowd was cheering as Rhea won the Smackdown Women’s Championship against Charlotte, but you were silently hoping that she would get too busy to deal with you. Biting your lip, you nervously waited for her to come backstage - having been scheduled to interview the winner right after the match. But because it was her, you wished that you didn’t have to conduct the interview.
Suddenly there was loud clapping from everyone backstage and you suddenly felt as if your head was going to explode. You wanted all the loud noise to stop, to quiet down. But it only got louder as Rhea made her way backstage.
Your interview wasn’t scheduled for another thirty minutes, so you headed to the locker room to wash your face. You knew with one look; someone would know you weren’t okay, and you didn’t want that. You didn’t want Rhea to think you were trying to tell someone.
You rushed to the locker room, only to be stopped by Dom. You took a deep breath, fighting the urge to break down and tell him what Rhea has done to you. But you still weren’t sure if you could trust him - not wanting Rhea to find out you’ve told someone. You bit your lip, looking at Dom sheepishly as you waited for him to say something.
“You okay?” he asked. His voice was soft and in a way, comforting. You bit your lip, fighting the urge to tell him everything - you still weren’t sure if you could trust him or not.
“Y-Yeah. I think I will be.” you said, cursing yourself internally for your voice being shaky. You were nervous, not wanting to deal with Rhea any more.
“You sure? I hope you know I meant what I said and I know I keep repeating myself, but I want to make sure you really know. I’m here for you, (Your Name). Honest.” Dom said, giving you a small smile. “You’ve seen what she did to me until I joined Judgement Day. I promise you that you’re safe with me.”
“I’m sorry you keep having to repeat, I’m-“ you began to explain, but Dom stopped you.
“You don’t have to explain, I understand why you’d be too nervous to open yourself up to me so quickly. How about this, how about I take you out to dinner tomorrow?” Dom suggested.
You chewed on your bottom lip, contemplating your answer before asking, “But what about Rhea?”
“She’s going to be going out with Finn and Damian, I told them that I was going to stay in for the night.” Dom informed you, causing you to nod.
“I just…” you trailed off.
Dom nodded, “How about this, you sleep on it and give me an answer tomorrow? I won’t be mad or upset if you say ‘no’, but I’d rather you think about it before you do.”
“Alright. I’ll let you know by noon. You promise that you won’t be angry if I decide to say no?” you questioned, wanting to double check.
“I promise.”
———
After the interview, you rushed back to your hotel room. Thanking yourself for not bringing anything extra - not wanting Rhea to get a chance to get you alone. All throughout the interview, Rhea would step closer to you, but that was as far as she went. You soon realized that people were around you, so she didn’t do anything too drastic.
——
You ordered food - although Cathy and Liv had invited you out to celebrate night one, you couldn’t bring yourself to agree. The fear of running into Rhea was too strong, and thankfully, they dropped the subject after they tried to push you a little.
You looked at your phone - your order was almost there. A part of you wished it would get to you faster, afraid that Rhea would be at the other end of the door whenever the food was supposed to be there. You knew you were over thinking things, but with the way Rhea had been acting towards you, it was warranted.
You jumped when there was a knock on the door, you got up quickly, rushing to the door. You looked through the peephole, breathing a sigh of relief when you noticed it was the delivery man. You opened the door, and as soon as he handed you the food, you shut the door. Before you could lock the door, it was opened forcefully.
“After I won my match, I couldn’t help but notice you weren’t there to greet me backstage. Instead, I only saw you when you interviewed me. So where were you, (Your Name)?” Rhea asked, closing the door behind her. She was quick to lock it, causing you to drop your food onto the floor.
You stayed quiet as Rhea stormed towards you - which caused you to back onto the bed. Grabbing you by your throat, Rhea snapped, “What have I said before? You answer me when I ask you a question. Now answer me or you’re not going to breathe until you answer me.”
Rhea squeezed your neck harder, and a part of you thought that this was it. But when she released your neck, you gasped for air. “Are you ready to answer my question?” she asked, bringing her hand back to your neck. She held it there, giving you a few seconds to catch your breath so you could answer. Rhea slowly brought her hand back to your throat, holding it there as she waited for you to answer her.
“I- I just went back to the locker room to freshen up, I swear.” you lied, but you were thankful that Rhea seemed to believe you.
“Good, I’m glad. Because you know what’ll happen if you tell anyone, right?” She asked, squeezing your neck as hard as she could. “I’ll hurt you. Hurt you real bad and maybe, I will share you with Finn and Damian.”
She let go of your neck as you shook your head frantically, “I would never tell anyone, Rhea. I swear.” you pleaded, trying to get her to back off.
“Good girl. Get on your knees,” Rhea instructed, but you stayed in place.
“No, Rhea. I’m going to eat my dinner and go to bed. You need to get out.” you stated, standing your ground. You weren’t going to let her push you around anymore - or at least try not to.
“I said get on your fucking knees, (Your Name).” she snapped, taking a step back away from you.
“No.” you said, crossing your arms. You watched as Rhea clenched her jaw before she looked down at your food.
“Fine then.” was all Rhea said before grabbing your food from off the floor. Once she picked it up, she slammed it onto the floor, causing it to break open.
Grabbing you by the hair, she pulled you off the bed and onto your knees on the ground. You were now on top of your food, ruining your good pants.
“See what you made me do? This is your fault, (Your Name).” She snapped, slapping you across the face. Rhea continued to hold you in place by your hair, bringing her hand up to her belt. She unbuckled it, pulling it through the loops before tossing it onto the bed. She unzipped her jeans as fast as she could, before pulling them down just a bit so her underwear was showing. Your eyes widened, gasping when you realized she was packing. Rhea hadn’t gone this far with you, but you knew tonight was going to change that.
Pulling her strapon out from her underwear, Rhea pulled you closer to the toy. “Go on and fucking sock my cock.” she demanded, gripping the base of the strapon with her free hand to keep it in place.
You shook your head, keeping your mouth shut. You didn’t want to do this, wishing you could call out for help. But that was when it hit you - you could call out from help.
“Help! Some-“ you began, but Rhea pushed the strapon into your mouth. Pushing you all the way down so the tip of the toy hit the back of your throat. You tried to pull away to get some air, but Rhea wasn’t allowing it.
“You ever do that again and I’m going to make sure you never breathe again. Understood?” she snapped, causing you to nod the best you could. She kept you on her strapon, holding you there. “Breathe out of your nose you dumb fuckin’ whore.”
You did just that, trying your best to stay calm, but it was becoming a challenge to do so. Finally, after a good six minutes, Rhea let you pull away. You gasped for air - thankful that you were able to breathe better now.
“Get back on my cock,” Rhea instructed, and instead of fighting against it again, you gave up. You knew you weren’t going to win against her and you thought that the quicker you gave in, the quicker everything would end.
Wrapping your lips around the tip of the toy, slowly taking more into your mouth. You tried to focus on anything else - you didn’t want to think about Rhea forcing you to do it. You kept your eyes closed, missing the fact that Rhea pulled out her phone.
“Open your fuckin’ eyes and look up at me.” Rhea demanded and you did as you were told, not wanting to make her any more angrier than what she already was. When she took a picture of you with her strapon in your mouth, you pulled back with as much strength as you could. To your surprise, you were able to get your mouth off the toy.
“Don’t fucking take pictures of me, Rhea.” you snapped, standing up. You knew Rhea wasn’t going to like it, but you weren’t going to allow her to take pictures of you in that position. “Delete it off your phone now, or so help-“
You began, but Rhea slapped you across the face as hard as she could, causing you to fall back on the bed. Rhea climbed on top of you, making sure that you couldn’t move from underneath her.
“What is up with you today, (Your Name)? You’re usually so obedient, what’s gotten into you?” she asked, grinding into you. You bit back a moan, unable to feel the toy for the most part due to your clothes. When you didn’t answer, she got up off of you and got off the bed. Grabbing you by your pant legs, Rhea pulled your pants off of you. You tried your best to kick, wanting to get away from her as best as you could. Rhea pulled her right hand away, she grabbed something out of her pocket. Rhea pulled out a pocket knife, causing you to freeze in place. She hadn’t opened it yet, but you didn’t want to take any chances.
She took your pants and threw them across the room. “Take your shirt off. Now.” she demanded, and you rushed to do what she had told you to do. You were too afraid to be hesitant with her now, let alone fight her off. As you pulled your shirt off, she took her jacket off, followed by her shirt. You bit your lip, looking at the wall behind Rhea. The last thing you wanted was to look at her.
Unclasping her bra, Rhea threw it on the floor. Climbing onto the bed, she decided to keep her pants on - just in case she needed to leave in a hurry. Grabbing the pocket knife from the bed, she opened it. “Spread your legs for me.” she said, bringing the blade near your thigh once she was on the bed.
You did as you were told, slowly opening your legs in hope that Rhea would move the knife away from you. Taking a deep breath once she did, only to wince as Rhea brought to your underwear. Cutting them off of you, Rhea placed the ruined underwear into her pocket.
“You’re so wet for me, you can act like you don’t want me, (Your Name). But this pussy of yours is telling me something different.” Rhea smirked, scooting closer towards you. Once she was positioned right, Rhea lined the top of the strapon to your entrance with her free hand. Throwing the pocket knife onto the ground, she threatened, “You do anything stupid and I won’t hesitate to grab it off the floor. Understand?”
You nodded frantically and Rhea must have accepted your way of responding - slamming all the way into you. You let out a yelp, but you were quick to cover your own mouth. “Shut the fuck up, do you want someone to come knocking?” she asked, starting at a slow pace.
Yes. “N-No, Rhea…” you whispered as Rhea leaned over and hit your neck. Sucking on the skin, Rhea smirked against your skin when she was done.
“Good girl. Tell Mommy how good I’m making you feel.” she whispered against your neck.
Moving off of you, Rhea began to fuck you at a bruising pace. Shaking her head, she spoke up once more, “Come on. Tell me. I can feel how good I’m making you, you’re making such a fuckin’ mess on my thighs. Go on, (Your Name). Fucking tell me.”
“Y-You- please don’t make me say it,” you whimpered, causing Rhea to slap you across the face.
“Say it.” she demanded, looking down at the floor. “Or I’ll make you say it.”
“I- you’re making me feel so good, M-Mommy.” you began to cry, but Rhea seemed to ignore your tears. She continued to fuck you at the same pace, gripping your waist for more leverage.
You squeezed your eyes shut, biting your lip hard enough to draw blood. Rhea looked down at you, smiling to herself at how much of a mess you looked. She loved having you like this, making a note to do this again to you soon.
“Fuckin’ hell. I could do this all day with you,” Rhea moaned, feeling herself grow closer to her own orgasm. Your breath hitched, trying your best to not think about your own orgasm approaching. You felt sick to your stomach, not wanting Rhea to continue.
Rhea came with a grunt, continuing to fuck you through her orgasm. She pulled out, sitting down on the bed so she was still between your legs. Rubbing your thighs with her hands, Rhea smirked. “Come clean your mess up. Now.”
You moved from your spot on the bed, getting on all fours so your head was near her lap. Rhea grabbed you by your hair, she forced your mouth onto her strapon. Holding your head in place, she fucked up and into your mouth. You choked as she fucked your face, finally letting you pull away to catch your breath. Rhea looked at you, licking her lips as she watched you struggle to catch your breath. Rhea grabbed you by your hair once more, shoving you back onto the toy. She laughed, shaking her head. “You thought I’d be done just then?”
You didn’t answer her, but you knew she wasn’t looking for an answer from you. All you wanted was for her to leave and never come back. You squeezed your eyes shut as she fucked your mouth again, the tears pricking at the corner of your eyes. Rhea smacked your face with her free hand, causing you to cry out against the strapon. She pulled you off of the toy, spitting on your face. You began to cry harder as Rhea got up off the bed, bending over to pick up her clothes, you got under the blankets as quickly as you could. You wanted to hide from her - not wanting her to see you naked any longer than she already had.
“I’m going to clean up a little and go, but remember what I’ve told you, (Your Name).” she warned, and you slowly nodded.
“I- I promise I won’t tell anyone.” you whispered, warning a sly smirk from Rhea.
“Good, because I’d hate to have to hurt you.” Rhea said, getting dressed. You watched as she looked down at the food on the floor, shaking her head, she added. “I’d clean this up before you go to sleep.”
You watched her leave your hotel room - closing the door behind her. You rushed to lock the door, crying as you got on the floor to clean the food that was supposed to be your dinner. You hated her - wanting nothing more than to get her to stop, but you knew there was nothing you could do.
——
Once you cleaned everything up, you got dressed. Grabbing your keys from the table, you headed out of the hotel room. You needed to get out of there - feeling as if the room was closing in on you. Before you could get halfway down the hallway, Dom stopped you.
“Hey, (Your Name), everything okay?” he asked, giving you an odd look when you turn around to look at him.
With tears in your eyes, you shook your head. You couldn’t hold it in any longer - you needed to tell him, hoping that he’d at least help getting Rhea to stop. That was all you wanted, and you knew no matter what, telling Dom could go two different ways.
“Hey, hey. Do you want to come in my room, I’m actually just a few doors down from you.” he suggested. You gave him a small nod. You were too nervous to talk at that very moment - the two of you were still in the middle of the hallway where Rhea could still be. The last thing you wanted and even needed, was for Rhea to hear you telling Dom. You weren’t sure how Rhea would react, but from what she had threatened, you knew it wouldn’t be good. A part of you wanted to change your mind and keep it to yourself, but you knew she was going to keep going. Dom seemed to be your only chance in stopping any of it.
“Alright, come one,” Dom smiled softly, leading you to his hotel room. He wasn’t wrong - his hotel room was only a few doors down from yours, and it made you wonder if he knew Rhea was in yours. You bit your lip as he swiped his keycard into the door, and as soon as it was open, you rushed past him to get inside. You watched as he shut the door and when he locked it, you began to panic.
“Does Rhea know I’m here? Did you tell her we talked the other day?” you asked, backing up as Dom came closer to you. You didn’t mean to snap at him, but you were too anxious to think and everything you wanted to say was coming out way too quickly.
“Wait- What? No, of course not?” he said, giving you an odd look. “How about you sit down, I’ll give you some water, and you can talk to me about what’s bothering you. I just want you to know that anything you say will not leave this room between us. I know I’ve told you this before, but I want to reassure you.”
“I know, I- just… Rhea and you are so close, and I don’t want her finding out.” you admitted, grabbing the bottle of water Dom was handing you. You took a deep breath. “She’s- uh. She raped me and I don’t know what to do and you said you’d help me and I know she’s your friend, but I don’t… I don’t know what to do…” you admitted, looking at the bottle of water that he had given you. You weren’t sure how to say it other than the way you did, but you couldn’t physically look at him.
“Wait… what?” he asked. You shook your head - you got up off the bed as fast as you could. You knew you should have kept it to yourself, why would you think Dom could actually help you, let alone believe you?
“I’m… I’m sorry, please just- just forget I’ve said anything.” you sighed, heading to the door.
“No, (Your Name). Please don’t, I didn’t mean it in a bad way, it’s just what you said wasn’t what I was expecting. I promise you I believe you,” Dom said softly, causing you to stop in your tracks.
“You do?” you questioned.
Dom nodded, watching you make your way back to the bed. When you sat down, Dom pulled out his phone. You were a little confused, but you figured that he was just checking in with his father.
“I… don’t know what I can do to help, but I will make sure she doesn’t ever do it again. I promise.” Dom said, sitting down next to you.
——
After an hour and a half of crying in Dom’s arms, he walked you back to your hotel room. He explained that he didn’t want you to walk back when Rhea was staying in the same hotel as the two of you.
You felt a lot better after confiding in Dom, but you still had a weird feeling about everything. Maybe it was just you overthinking - although, you’d usually get rid of the feeling after some time.
You got ready for bed, thankful you had the next two days off. The clock read one in the morning by the time you closed your eyes, still jumping at any little noise in the hallway. But when your phone went off, you shot your eyes open, unsure of who would be texting you at this time at night.
You grabbed your phone off the bedside table, wanting to make sure it wasn’t a friend or family member. But you sat up in bed right when you read the text.
Rhea: You think you can get away with telling Dom everything? You’ve got another thing coming.
You weren’t going to be sleeping any time soon. You were screwed.
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cryptidfuckery · 1 year
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Your old social media was literally my first ever introduction to anyone identifying beyond the gender binary. In 2014, I was watching youtube videos in the small UK city I grew up in, and your videos were recommended. And I felt instant recognition when you talked about gender things, because I'm non-binary and I'd never heard of anyone identifying or expressing themselves that way when I was younger. You were the LGBT+ elder that I really appreciated advice from. (Even if you are only a few years older than me, you seemed much wiser). So I just wanted to say thank you for being your out and authentic self for so many years. Wishing you a good week. P.S. if you like cute animals, I highly recommend looking up photos of bog turtles, they definitely made my week better.
I'm really, really glad that I was able to help you!!
This definitely isn't the first time I've heard this. Notably, when I was at an anime convention years ago during that time, I had someone approach me and say essentially the same thing and also cry. Wonderful experience, also a fucking wild experience!!
It's one of the things I'm proudest of my younger self for. I was lucky enough to learn through my close friends at the time, but I definitely saw that there just. Wasn't enough information readily available for the people who might be interested. So I dug my heels in and allowed myself to be a resource, because it was important. Most of what I was doing was regurgitating what I was learning from my own elders and community, but it was important for people to have a face to the idea. Someone they could talk to and be validated by.
That was either around or over 10 years ago now. I've identified as genderqueer for over 10 years. I sometimes think about an the people who might have a similar time line just for the sake that I talked about it openly.
That time also helped me realize that I didn't want to go into activism full time. I love it, its important, but it made me realize that it would take too much out of me. Maybe I was able to handle it better because I was still being supported by family, and my only obligation (that I shirked a hell of a lot of) was highschool.
That doesn't mean I Completely stopped though. I'm one of those people you can make the joke "they'll trans your gender." I have a joke that the only people who don't end up more trans by the end of dating me are Very cis men. (I have a theory that the people who do end up "more trans" are attracted to the androgy for a reason, whether they realize or not).
I like to think it's because I know what questions to ask, not to push too hard, but more than anything, let them describe how they're feeling about their gender/sexuality with no judgements. Letting them explore it in a safe space. So my activism kind of happens there.
But more than that, I'm a hairdresser that caters toward queer/trans/gay people. That's where I feel I actually do my activism.
And I'll be real with you, I'm not out to all my clients. I work in a mixed bag neighborhood (old conservatives, young liberals, EVERYTHING inbetween) so half of that is keeping myself safe. The other half is not wanting to put extra work on myself trying to fight to explain my identify to someone who 1) doesn't actually care and 2) most likely won't actually hear a thing i say. I talk to the clients that bring it up, and come out to them if they ask. I'm not necessarily tight lipped about my queerness, but like all of us, at know how to illude without specifics. I let my clients decide their comfort level.
But my TRANS CLIENTS. They are SO important to me. I'm able to surround myself with the people I love, who I can crack a gender joke at and know I'll get a laugh. People I can really talk to about dysphoria, about hormones, about surgeries, about relationships, about sex, about family, about friends, about life in a way I don't get to with my other clients.
Even more important than that, I can make a huge step in their transition that much easier. I had a good amount of freshly cracked eggs find me after quarantine/the pandemic (it's not over). As we all know, it was a huge self reflection time. But I got to be there to be the first to validate their gender through their hair. That in itself can be an extremely nerve wracking process. My trans clients coming to me have allowed me to figure out the best way to naviagte the situation in a way where they feel comfortable and validated. It means the world to me. Seriously.
This is where I feel I actually do my activism. It's not explaining what gender is, it's not explaining pronouns. It's getting to assure someone they're on the right path. That what they're doing is good, and it's happy, and there's someone who's proud of them for going through the hard, hard process. I have people I've now been seeing for years who I've gotten to support through hormone changes, through identity changes, through relationship changes.
But one of the things I really try to stress is that being trans, while it absolutely has it's difficulty, it's supposed to be joyous. It's supposed to be the joy of being who you feel you really are. The joy of being loved for who you are. The joy of loving as you are. The joy of being loved by your community. The joy of loving life. Being trans is the joy of love, and the constant readmission that you love yourself more than anyone else can take away.
I cried a little bit writing that ngl.
Last thing I wanna say is that if I did happen to touch your life in a way that helped you become more fully realized, pass on the favor. The next time you have a friend or loved one you're getting the signals from, ask the questions. Be patient with them. Let them change their answers. Nudge but don't shove. Crack a joke. Meet them where they are.
Do it with love.
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moonlit-positivity · 1 month
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Gonna be problematic on main for minute here.
Self awareness is good and all but don't let the criticisms of others become your own inner voice of awareness.
That is the biggest thing I see in BPD recovery spaces. "It sucks to be so self aware and to not be able to stop."
So change the way you think about it when you're aware of it.
"I am allowed to have this moment, even though I know it doesn't feel too good for myself right now."
"I am allowed to have these thoughts and feelings right now, even though I feel like they're wrong and I shouldn't feel this way. This is okay, too."
"I know I'm trying really hard to change, but I can't be perfect all the time. This moment is fine, too. I am allowed to feel this way. We will work with it until I can do better."
Self awareness without compassion is just self loathing.
Work really hard on being the nurturing voice of acceptance you wish someone could give you in those moments.
Yes, you're allowed to change the way you talk to yourself.
So hey stinky that's not too problematic right? Well here's the problematic parts.
Even when you're doing something you feel is bad and you feel like you need to change it but you can't. Even if someone has told you to change your ways or made you feel insecure because you can't do that right now, all you can do is repeatedly do the harmful behavior.
Reaffirming these harsh types of thoughts (aka judgements) just makes it worse. The compulsions to engage in the harmful behavior becomes a battle of autonomy and control rather than a genuine motivation to do better. Changing behavior takes a very long time to get comfortable with the very idea of change in itself. You can't do that if you're stuck repeating how awful of a person you feel, or how awful someone has made you feel, for not being able to immediately change it, or taking too long to change. Regardless of who is telling you that. Your ability to change your behavior does not depend on the people around you who dictate and control your autonomy and force you to do so in a harmful or unpleasant or judgemental manner. Please recognize and understand this as soon as you possibly can.
So why do I bring that up? Because as people with BPD this world is filled with other people who don't have BPD and many times our messiness clashes and interferes and causes issues with those around us.
And if you're someone who's been forced by others into therapy or told you're a problematic piece of shit and you need to get your life together, well. This one is for you.
There are gonna be times in our lives that we cause irreparable harm to those around us, and they're gonna be pissed the fuck off about it, rightfully so as they do have that right.
So if & when it's a situation of you causing repeated harm to yourself or to someone else and they're mad at you for it, then please recognize when it's time to separate yourself from this situation so you can self care without harming them or them harming you in the process.
This can be a very difficult thing to work through when you're in recovery. But even more so when you're forced into recovery. We never talk about that out loud. But we do still live in a day and age that people get shoved into hospitalization and thrown into someone else's idea of health and stability before we were ever really able to even comprehend what the fuck was happening to begin with. And sometimes it's because they're genuinely concerned for our health.
But sometimes it can be calculated and cruel and an act of control in itself. To be forced into involuntary institutionalization is one of the most heartbreaking acts of betrayal someone can go through.
So at the end of the day, if someone is constantly on your ass about the way you behave, please take that as the sign that you need to separate and find space so everyone involved can destress and heal and process on their own.
Because yeah you know, sometimes changing behavior doesn't work as fast as the other people in our lives can tolerate. And that's fair and valid. In these situations its more prudent to be concerned with the aggressions and the attitudes of all involved, so you don't cause further harm than what's already been done.
Tldr; please learn how to recognize when you need to get the fuck on from people, for whatever reason that may be. Don't internalize that shit. Don't dwell on it. It sucks that it happens. But you're still allowed to cultivate compassion for yourself even if & when someone has called you a problematic asshole. You're fine. You're still a good person. Just don't expect them to be the ones to tell you that.
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useyourwandbro · 2 months
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I gave in and began reading Manacled, even though I had told myself I never would. Obviously I've also returned to reading Dramione even though I said I wouldn't.
This is really stupid (and embarrassing), but I've been reading Dramione since I was 15 so 13 years now? and I'm sure reading about them is filling a kind of void, or scratching a kind of itch so to speak, that is super personal to me.
Someone knowing the worst parts of you, and choosing you anyway. Seeing you at your lowest, your weakest, your most stupid and unflattering and being worth it to them anyway. Not despite, but because that's who you are, because no one is perfect and everyone has their shit parts, and I admire Draco's (and in some very good stories, Hermione's too) ability to not give a toss. To own those parts that are crass, dirty, wrong, rude, arrogant and self-important, cruel, spiteful, cold, vicious, vengeful, petty, dismissive, cowardly. To not be concerned with others' opinions and whether he's being hard to stomach, but to know that's sometimes how it is. Because he's also fierce about the people who matter and there's not a thing he won't do for them, not a part of himself he'd hold back. And when Hermione matters, he calls her out on her bullshit. She's full of herself, righteous, judgemental, hateful, vindictive, jealous, ruthless, bull-headed, rigid, overbearing, annoying, perfectionistic, tactless, insensitive, overall impossible person. He calls her out on it because she'd never admit to being flawed in all those ways, but that's just how people are, and he loves her for it. It's the flipside of her being intelligent, level-headed, curious, loyal to a fault, determined, hardworking, bold and courageous, kind, protective, committed and all the rest wonderful things that make her her. Same as Draco's numerous faults also make him the person that's worth burning the whole world for, to her. I think that's what makes me prefer him (at least in fiction) over his Gryffindor counterparts. He knows who he is and he's not shy about it. Not about any part of him.
And he chooses her, over and over. Intentionally, on purpose. The way he loves her says I see you. I see everything you do, everything you are. You're an impossible person and you're also the person who makes it all worth it. You're home, and I could never live without you. You're beautiful when you laugh, I love your wild untamed hair that you hate, I admire you in more ways than you know, you are the light of my life and I literally think the sun shines out of your ass, there's nothing you could possibly do that would make me think less of you, because I know you and I love all of you. You don't need to hide parts of yourself from me, I know. I already know, and that's okay. Am I not the most insufferable person you know on earth? It's okay. You don't scare me with that shit. I still choose you. I'll burn the world for you. I'm here, and I'm yours.
To be someone's first and undeniable choice. To matter that much. To be loved for all that you are, to be known and understood and seen. To know you could totally lose your shit, they wouldn't flinch. They wouldn't be scared of you, they wouldn't waver. They'd be there like a rock even through the worst of times. Isn't that what we all want? Isn't that the most human thing to wish for? To be loved unwaveringly. To be safe.
I am so afraid I'll never find that. I don't know that I could settle for less. I don't know that it exists. That I could find the love I read about, that I long for so hard. So painfully I can barely stand it.
I stopped reading Dramione because it hurt. To be met with the thing I wanted most in my life and be reminded that I don't have it. To not know if it could ever be like that. If I could ever have that, if I would ever be so fortunate. To love someone that doesn't even exist. To know how rare it is to find this kind of connection. I started reading again because I can't stand the void that otherwise exists, that cannot be filled.
I was asked some time ago what I would wish to myself, and I didn't dare answer that question even to myself. I was asked to write a paragraph about my perfect future as a psychology exercise, I couldn't. I put it off for months and I still can't bring myself to do it. To actually admit to myself how much I want love in my life. The kind that's real, the kind we all read about. Because it doesn't matter what the surrounding circumstances are, what the universe is, even who the characters are probably, the essence is still the same. It's to be seen, to be known, to be loved. To find home in another human being and to be safe there.
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sexisdisgusting · 3 months
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To anyone feeling weird about shedding your femininity for real comfort; I totally get it. It's hard at first and it took me a while. To be honest, these past few years without that kinda bullshit has given me a joy and confidence I thought I never would have, and I'm doing it completely alone! Though once you do it, you do notice when other people a past doing it also. I feel like it's something I've grown out of.
When I was in high school, I used to wake up at 5 am just to cake my face in foundation and all this other stuff just to have it melt off in like 2 hours anyway and look weird. I would spend so much time straightening my hair, and putting it in a bump-it (lol that's how old I am) also.
Now I'm ten years later, I work at a womens clothing store (so somewhere where femininity is common), and I never wear makeup, or shave, or wear anything that isn't comfortable to me. I love helping other women here find clothes that give them that same comfort and freedom that I love. I'm able to comfortably talk about it all too, I've got no issue telling people why I don't do these things and why I care about myself more than I care about looking a certain way. I can still wear pink and hearts and florals if I want, but my comfort and dignity matter more than anything else. The regular customers have almost always received my take well and even agree with me! Most women are just scared to do this stuff alone. I try to show them they can do it in small ways because I know it's hard to go all in at once. But it's like an addiction to comfort lol, I know there's no way I could go back :)
There's still work I can do, of course, I wear flare jeans usually that are form fitting and could probably be more comfortable if I wore something looser. I do still really like earrings and my hair is long. So I wouldn't consider myself some totally gnc lady, but I am trying the best I can. Growing up as a bigger girl (I'm a size 14-16), I've always felt this pressure to go hard into makeup and restrictive clothes as if I needed to "make up" for being a size people aren't usually attracted to. But actually I don't owe anyone that. I'm okay being the fat hairy girl with no makeup, and honestly most people don't care or notice in a way that matters. If they are judgemental at all they are quiet about it and no one's ever been a dick to me about it. The thing with people who stick to the status quo is that they're usually cowards that stay dead silent anyways. My favorite this about this is how I can find other women who love that I'm doing it or are also doing it. Lovely lovely ladies in my phone; I hope you give this journey a chance for your own inner peace. I wish you all the best and don't let fear stop you: confront the fear and accept that it's there, but not a reason to stop. You can do this. Even one day of being this way is healing! :')
Sorry for the long ask!! I hope you and everyone else has a great day!
you sound like an angel, anonita
thank you so much for this lovely message, i am so proud of you and applaud you for growing so much, you are a true inspiration
never apologize for a long ask, i thank you
ilysm anonita!!!! <3333
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