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lilfellasblog · 3 years

Text

Tolerable

Summary: Virgil's been accepted by Thomas and the famILY, even after they found out his secret. But will this be too much for them to handle? Or: Virgil has endometriosis, thinks he has to hide it, and that works out as well for him as you think it will.

A/N: If you liked this, please reblog. It is the only way to help this fic reach a wider audience.

TW: Past bullying and harassment mentioned, endometriosis, menstruation, this is a sick!fic, painful cramps, unsympathetic dark sides.

Word Count: 2351

AO3 here!

Fic Masterlist here!

Virgil groaned and curled into himself. Not for the first time, he cursed the Mindscape’s sick sense of humor for not only making him the only trans Side, but also for giving him the period from hell. After researching his symptoms and checking in the Subconscious (he tried not to think about how he could see everything in there), he had discovered he had endometriosis. It certainly explained what he’d been experiencing. He didn’t even want to think about the number of tampons and pads he burned through. Alternating ibuprofen and acetaminophen could only take the edge off so much. The websites he visited suggested some, ahem, all-natural pain remedies, but Virgil was the opposite of in the mood when he was on his period. He felt tired and dizzy and light-headed and nauseous, and he always seemed to get migraines at the same time of his period because apparently God hated him personally.

He ground a fist into his lower abdomen during a particularly painful cramp that felt like his internal organs were ripping each other in half, and kept it there until the pain subsided somewhat. He wasn’t sure why, but pressing his knuckles into the spot where he felt the most pain seemed to help lessen the severity of that particular wave.

Virgil sighed, trying to figure out if he wanted to ask the others for help. He was exhausted, having dealt with this for a day already on his own. They’d all accepted him, including Thomas (thank fuck), but he didn’t know if they wanted to deal with everything that came with him being a trans guy. Yet, now that they knew, even though he’s dealt with this on his own before, being alone feels even harder.

What if they’re grossed out? They weren’t grossed out by me being trans, they seemed sad whenever I had even asked, but this is… yeah. I don’t know, I don’t want to push it. Just as he finished that thought, an excruciating pain ripped through him. He bit his knuckle and held his breath to keep from crying out.

“Virgil? You okay in there buddy? You missed breakfast, so I brought some up if you want any,” Patton offered through the door.

Virgil had to breathe through his nose to battle his nausea at the thought of breakfast food. “Thanks Pat. I’m good, just not feeling too well. I’ll be fine in a bit.” It’ll be manageable in a few days.

“Oh honey, I’m sorry to hear that! Is there anything I can do? Would soup help?”

Actually… “Yeah, I think I might be able to handle soup.”

“One bowl of soup, coming right up!”

“Thanks Pat.”

“Anytime!”

Despite his pain, Virgil smiled fondly. He’s too good for me. Before, if he’d shown any indication that he was on his period, the consequences would be more pain, some kind of humiliation, and a nightmare sequence courtesy of Remus that always lasted so long he’d bleed over.

Virgil rode out the waves of pain, unable to concentrate enough to follow Buzzfeed Unsolved, until Patton knocked on his door again.

“Virge? I have your soup,” Patton called quietly.

“Alri-” Virgil’s voice cut off as he was bowled over by a powerful tearing sensation that left him seeing stars.

“Virgil? You okay in there? Are you hurt?” Patton called, much more loudly this time.

Shitshitshit, I can’t let him see me, he’ll know I’m in pain and he’ll ask why and then I’ll have to tell him.

“I’m worried you’re hurt or unconscious, can you answer me?”

Virgil took a few deep breaths. “I’m here,” he croaked out.

“Oh honey, you sound like you’re in so much pain! Are you okay?!”

Since he wasn’t holding his breath, a pained keen left him against his will.

“I’m coming in.”

Fuck.

Virgil tried to uncurl his body, but he couldn’t find the willpower to counter the pain. As soon as Patton caught sight of him, he quickly set the bowl of soup (with crackers and cheese, Virgil noticed) on the nightstand and rushed over.

“It’s okay, I’m here. What’s wrong? You look and sound like you’re in so much pain!”

The worst of it passed, and Virgil managed to relax his body a bit. “I’m okay, I’m… kind of used to it.”

Patton’s expression darkened. “Did they hurt you again?” he asked, voice nearly a growl.

“No, nothing like that!” Virgil quickly promised. Patton sagged in relief.

“Thank goodness.” Patton frowned. “This has happened before? Do you have a stomach bug?”

Virgil thought about lying for a brief moment, but was too scared of accidentally summoning Janus to risk it. “No…”

He cursed when Patton’s puppy dog eyes came in full-force. “Is it something bad?”

Just as Virgil was about to hedge around the answer, he felt a telltale dampness. “Uh, nothing dangerous for us since we’re Sides, but I do need to go to the bathroom.”

Patton immediately scooted aside. “Okay! I’ll be here when you get back,” he reassured.

Shit. “Thanks.”

Virgil uncurled himself from his position on the bed, then carefully made his way to the bathroom. He cleaned himself up since he had bled over a bit, changed out his pad and tampon. Just as he was about to flush away the bloody water and toilet paper, there was urgent knocking at the door.

“Virgil, are you okay?!”

Virgil was a little annoyed, but knew to rein himself in. “Yeah Pat, I’m good, just about to wash my hands.”

“Sweetie, are you sure? There’s blood on the bed.”

OH FUCK.

“Um, I’ll be out a in a minute.”

Think think think think THINK!! Okay, what can I tell him? I could just fudge the truth a little bit, but that might be too close to a lie. I could just tell him I don’t want to tell him, but he’d be so sad that I don’t trust him and he deserves better than that. Shiiiiiiiiiiit.

Realizing he’d been staring into space, he dried his hands, then went out to face the music.

Patton was studying the comforter that had gotten stained, and looked up and smiled at Virgil as he emerged. “Hey Virge, I was just gonna wash this for you, is that okay?”

Virgil could feel another wave coming on. “Yeah, but you don’t have to.” Let me lie down so I don’t double over in front of you.

Patton waved him off. “Nonsense, you’re sick and I wanna help!”

SHIT. “Okay, I can help get it off.”

“Sure!”

Virgil frantically tugged at the comforter, while Patton calmly gathered it up in his arms. As soon as the comforter was off the bed, Virgil laid down and curled up, hopefully in a way that made it look like he was just lying down.

“Virgil, can I ask you something? You don’t have to answer!”

Virgil assessed Patton. Patton was looking nervous himself, biting his lip and eyes averting themselves.

“Yeah, go ahead.”

Patton took a deep breath. “Well, I know you’re in a lot of pain, you’re not feeling well, you said it’s happened before, and there’s blood that you don’t seem too worried about.” He fidgeted uncomfortably, trying to figure out how to ask. “Is there anything I can do to help with… this?”

Virgil sighed. Of course he’d figure it out. “Honestly, the soup is more than what I usually get-”

“What?!” Patton cried.

Oops.

“Um, usually I just kinda deal with it on my own?”

Virgil kicked himself for the devastated look on Patton’s face. “Oh Virge…”

“It’s fine, I don’t mind dealing with it by myself!”

“I know, but you shouldn’t have to! And you don’t have to anymore!” Patton declared. “You’re in so much pain, is that normal? Is there anything we can do to help?”

“Normal for me, yeah, and I don’t think so.”

“Normal for you? Why just you, are you in more pain than other people who get periods?”

Way to put it on the nose Patton. “I-”

“What’s this regarding?” Logan asked as he walked in.

Patton didn’t close the door, shit!! “Nothing!”

“Patton seemed to be implying that you’re in a great deal of pain-”

“WHO DARES HARM YOU?!” Roman thundered, sword already drawn.

GODAMMIT. “NO ONE. Okay, Jesus Christ. Look, I’m fine, I’ve just got the period from hell. I’m sorry you guys found out, I didn’t mean to, I’m fine dealing with this on my own, I know it’s weird and-” Virgil cut himself off at the sorrowful looks he was getting. He sighed. These guys aren’t the Dark Sides, they probably don’t think it’s weird and gross and something I’m doing to them on purpose. “Sorry. Just, I have this thing that makes this harder, I can’t think of the name because I can’t think during this, and I’m fine. I’m just miserable for a week and then it’s manageable. This is better treatment than I usually get, and now I can at least get food. Just ignore me.” Virgil cursed God as another devastating cramp chose that specific moment to be an asshole. He held his breath, but couldn’t stop from curling in on himself. Concerned Patton noises could be heard, and Logan was trying to encourage Virgil to breathe. Roman just stood there, feeling helpless.

Once it passed, Virgil unclenched and took a few breaths. “Sorry,” he panted.

“Please do not apologize. Average menstrual cramps-” Virgil winced. “-have been shown to be at a similar pain level as a heart attack, and it sounds like you experience more severe cramping. If you wish to be left alone, then we will respect that,” Logan stated, agreements coming from each of the other Sides. “But there is still the concern of unusual pain. Do you require pain medication?”

Virgil shrugged. “Yeah, it helps me not lose my mind, but it can only do so much. I’m on the max dose for ibuprofen and tylenol right now, and I’m alternating them.”

Logan frowned. “This is your pain level even with medication?”

Virgil shrugged. “Yeah, it’s this thing that starts with an “e”… shit, what is it…”

Logan’s eyebrows shot up. “Endometriosis?”

“Yeah!” Virgil squinted. “How the hell did you know that?”

“I’m Thomas’ center of knowledge. Gracious, Virgil…” Logan trailed off. “Has a TENS unit ever proven helpful?”

“A what?”

Logan straightened up. “A TENS unit administers small electrical pulses to pain points or trigger points via electrodes placed on the skin. Research, as well as personal anecdotes, have shown them to be effective in combating menstrual pain. Would you like me to conjure one for you?”

Whatever, worst thing that might happen is it could hurt worse for a few seconds. “Sure, why not.”

Logan closed his eyes, and a few seconds later a rectangular device with a bunch of wires coming out of it appeared. “Would you like me to apply the electrodes, or would you like to?”

The thought of someone touching his bare skin, especially where he was in so much pain, still scared him, even though he knew these weren’t the Dark Sides. “I can put it on.”

No one said anything as Virgil rolled over to his side and placed the electrodes where Logan instructed. He turned back over, blushing slightly and feeling weird. He could feel another bad one coming on, and he hoped that this would work. Logan handed Virgil the unit.

“There are a few levels of electricity. Since this is your first time, it’s recommended you start at 1 and see if you need to increase from there.”

Before the next bastard cramp could come to do its damage, Virgil just nodded and turned on the device, bracing himself for electrocution pain. Instead, the cramps was… not as bad? It still hurt like a motherfucker, but it wasn’t as godawful as it could be. He cranked it up a few more dials, and the pain dimmed to a level he couldn’t remember ever feeling.

His eyes widened as he uncurled and sat up, jaw slack. The pain was still there, and he could still tell that his muscles were freaking the fuck out, but the pain was down so much he could almost ignore it.

So Logan just made my life about a thousand times better. How do I let him know?

“What kind of bullshit wizard magic is this?” Nice, REAL kind of you to say after Logan literally changed your life.

Logan just did his proud little smirk of his and drew his shoulders back. “No magic involved, merely science, and,” he adjusted one side of his glasses. “logic.”

Virgil sighed, still light-headed and dizzy, but the amount of relief that flooded his body without the pain was helping him feel so much better.

Logan frowned. “If you’ll excuse me, Thomas requires my help with a business e-mail.”

Virgil looked out through Thomas’ eyes and Sanders what the HELL. “Yeah, you’d better go deal with that.”

Patton waved his hand over the bowl of soup to warm it. “Is there anything else I can get you?”

Virgil fidgeted. “Not to be a stereotype, but I’m currently willing to commit homicide for chocolate.”

In the next moment, Virgil found his lap full of his favorite dark chocolate-sea salt-almond bars.

“I should probably go too, make sure Thomathy gets the tone of the e-mail right,” Patton said regretfully.

Virgil waved him off. “No worries, go do your thing.”

“I’ll keep our brave knight company!” Roman declared.

Patton said goodbye and sank out. Roman and Virgil stared at each other.

Roman broke first. “Soooo, friendo…”

Virgil sighed, putting Roman out of his misery. “I don’t usually feel like being a people, but this TENS unit thing is really helping. I’d be down to play some video games after lunch.”

“Sounds wonderful! I’ll get the game set up!” Roman sank out with his usual flair.

Virgil snorted and shook his head. Thank god for TENS units.

He flushed as he thought to himself, Thank god for famILY.

#trans!Virgil #virgil sanders fanfiction #virgil sanders fanfic #platonic lamp/calm #could be read as pre-romantic if you want #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #thomas sanders #unsympathetic dark sides

46 notes · View notes

jiminrings · 3 years

Note

Can I request a drabble, hobi is kinda like a band singer and Y/N is like his old time friend and they like had a falling out bc he got super successful but years after they're like together again? IS IT TOO SPECIFIC UHM :")

parallel

pairing: hoseok x y/n

wordcount: 4k

glimpse: hobi’s kind of an asshole and is vERY much emotionally repressed, y/n’s serotonin is dependent on wearing bridesmaid gowns, the dwindling one-sided pining anD the everlasting question of where the fuck was hoseok when you needed him :D // gif is from pinterest!

notes: this drabble really hits close to home and tysm for the request babe!! even if i’m a month late yeesh :O

you can’t believe yourself either when you say it

but holy shit — weddings are definitely your thing!

there’s something about the union of marriage that gets your head into overdrive but in a gOOD way

there’s just something so pulling about last-minute changes and family drama and awkward trips to the restroom that make your mind mHMMMM THIS IS IT CHIEF

yea granted that not every wedding you go and participate in isn’t exactly straight out of a rom-com

lmao sometimes it’s so obvious that the bride doesn’T love the groom but hey!!! who’s keeping tabs :D

you love wedding environments so much that here you are, two years out of uni and a couple of gigs later — couples are LITERALLY fighting over you

heh not to brag but uh

you weren’t recognized as best wedding planner for two years in a row and have your face in multiple covers of bridal magazines and such

time magazine recognized you as one of the most influential people in the scene last year but hey !!!!! no big deal lads

“i am asking you for just one minute, y/n!! stop being a wedding planner and start being my maid of honor!!”

nayeon exasperates and tugs you by your sleeve, having already noticed your second nature of taking charge the moment you entered the hall

after all, this is just cake tasting! that’s why she’s brought her maid of honor to help her out, nOT immediately go fishing for a clipboard

“well if the planner you hired wasn’t so sloppy-...” it’s a fact! he relies too much on his tablet and doesn’t even have any paper with him, and even if he’s already using a tablet, he doesn’t even use different colors to mark out!

apparently nayeon can’t handle the truth because she’s stamping her hand to your mouth that’s already a frown, about to suffocate you if only you didn’t bite it

>:|

y/n - 1 | jisoo’s hand - 0

you’re just a lil bit cranky alright

the last wedding you’ve catered to was just three days ago, and well you’re thankful for your job!!! really!!! bc not everyone is as booked as you nor sought-for

but there’s something about her wedding that puts you off :((

she’s very kindly yet firmly told you that no, you would absolutely not be her wedding planner and coordinator

“b-but i-“

“i want you to relax! and it’s-...”

“we said-“

“we said when we were kids that we’d plan each other’s wedding, but we didn’t swear on it! and i want you to-...”

“y-you told-“

“i told you that we didn’t have a wedding planner yet so you’d intentionally clear your schedule for me! and here we are-...”

“i’ll cry-“

“aww you big baby, save it for the wedding! i told you, just relax, m’kay? let yoongi handle the planning, and you do the unwinding.”

goddamn yoongi

yoongi who’s a wedding planner in his sPARE time could fuck right off

you don’t care if he’s very persuasive and firm and happened to book nayeon’s wedding even it was peak season :((

you don’t wanna admit it, but being a wedding planner has basically been your personality trait for the past years and it’s hard to cope when your job is to not.... plan and worry

anyways besides that

you’re a little iffy because nayeon’s wedding is your wake-up call

you’ve been planning weddings.... but uh when the FUCK is yours

u are so tempted to put a sock over your head and just yell gIVE ME A RING!!! PUT IT IN THE BAG

unfortunately, you don’t even have someone in your life to readily propose to you

you would have had someone, actually —

if only hoseok didn’t wake up one day and decide to remove you from his life

if only your childhood friend didn’t suddenly decide that you’re not worthy of his attention and time!!!

god he thinks he’s a bigshot

and well yea ok he IS a bigshot

who doesn’t know jung hoseok at this point :((

you’ve always figured that he’d be successful at whatever path he chooses and for a moment, you feel sorry for him that he’s stuck in such a state of mundaneness

he’s stuck between home and school and since he has no choice — you

your each other’s day one!!! the moment your mom went home from the hospital, her first instinct was to knock on hoseok’s mom’s door and then iMMEDIATELY present you to her

the two of them are absolute best friends and why not make our babies the same way ya know????

the two of you were apparently so close as babies that when one was crying, the other would comfort

and you weren’t even a year old then????

you’ve shared cribs and milk bottles and clothes and everything in between with hobi

so why is it that when you’re just almost at the peak of your life with graduation, he just suddenly decides to drop you?

he’s suddenly too cool for you as if he hasn’t spent countless nights crying on your shoulder for any inconveniece that gets brought up

he can’t even meet your eyes :(((

that’s why graduation is the blandest and emptiest day you could recall

hoseok is over there with his bandmates looking the absolute hAPPIEST and you’re there by the corner.,.,. alone by yourself feeling like your cap has the words dropped by jung hoseok :D all over it

he’s at his peak and at the top of his life performing and touring, whenever and wherever

he’s happy

but without you in it :(

the irrational (and probably rational) part in your head is beyond infuriated at him because atleast offer an explanation!!! if you did wrong at one point, then he should tell you!!!

not suddenly pretend that you were nEVER in his life

even his mom feels guilty and ashamed over his son’s actions so she orders flowers from the shop signed underneath your company, then send it back to you

for awhile she tried to pretend that it was hoseok but no :((( that man will physically convulse if he doesn’t add (atleast) three hearts after his name

you hate him so much that you still religiously visit his instagram and wonder if he could see your likes despite a couple other million liking the same posts

you hate him so much that he’s number one on every single thing in your spotify wrapped

you hate him sO much that you wonder who’s behind the songs his band plays and how you’d wish that you’d be the one he’s writing about

“is the cake that... perfect?”

nayeon gently places a hand on your shoulder to which you flinch and she backs off because christ i’m nOT taking the cake away from you!!!

oh my god why are you tearing up

“yeah, yeah! it’s so good. you should try it nayeon!” you’re scrambling to scrape up your plate, almost shoving the fork into her mouth as she squeals with the sudden attack

yoongi has ???? hovering around his head but this is nOT about you my man

he sneaks a look to the bride’s plate and uh-huh... yup..... she has the same moist chocolate fudge cake with coffee ganache on her alright

the topic of hoseok that you bring up to yourself, one that no one knows (not even nayeon!!!), is just something that never seems to vacate your mind fully

it’s been two years and you’re still so touchy and you dON’T KNOW WHY

he probably doesn’t even think about you when he’s drunk and bored

“this champagne must be so... nice?”

nayeon thinks out loud as you’re once again crying into doing your maid of honor duties

she’s a lil worried if she’s being honest but you always whisk her away when she’s about to ask

like right now :D

“are you-...”

“i just can’t believe you’re getting married!! wow, you’re so cool. with the love of your life. then the two of you could be cool together after the wedding. you aren’t gonna forget me once you’re married, are you? nayeon do you think that i would ever be married-...”

you should just accept it now :((

you’re a little bit of a mess and a half underneath your pantsuits and walkie-talkies and the special pride you’d carry whenever the couple mentions you in their wedding speeches

absolutely WHY in the hell do you think about hoseok when it comes to weddings???

it’s almost a pavlovian response when you instruct the people to open the doors and the bride to start walking and your mind would iNSTANTLY think about him

it’s sometimes awkward when the couple would ask ah !!!! ms. y/n u are such a world-renowned wedding planner !!!! your own wedding must’ve been magnificent :D

aha actually about dat.,.,

you get tons of gifts of gratitude from just a single client alone and you don’t have hoseok and his stupidly powerful arms to help carry boxes back to your car

you don’t have him to give untouched and left-over flowers to

you don’t have him to remind you when you’re getting a little ahead of yourself over just talking to sponsors and trying to squeeze in as much as you could for an initial budge

you don’t have hoseok, in all his glory, to put his hand on the small of your back when you’re talking to how you need the fireworks to start the moment the band starts playing ice ice baby and the vendor does nOT need to know why it’s the song chosen by the couple

it’s what he’d do when you’re trying to fit two semesters’ worth of notes into a pricey A3 notebook that you’ve bought

and just how many weddings do you plan and coordinate, even within just a span of two week?

a lot.

often.

you think about hoseok a lot. often. oftenly a lot.

but aha nOT TODAY!!!

today’s nayeon’s wedding and you’re not gonna ruin it for her by projecting your yearning into your best friend’s wedding that clearly isn’t yours

10/10 she’d probably stop reciting her vows to ask you why you’re sniffling

your only source of distraction is your gown!!!

your maid of honor is the absolute pRETTIEST and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel gorgeous in it

it’s floor-length silk!!! fLOOR-LENGTH !! SILK !! GOWN

it’s in a deep mauve with an off-shoulder situation and a little risqué bit of cleavage!!! cinches right at the top of your waist and poofs a little and oh my god mayhaps you aRE pretty

god hoseok may have not written you a song, but sean kingston dEFINITELY did

nayeon knew you’d be catching everyone’s attention as much as her wedding dress would and she’s absolutely happy and fine with it!!

in fact she’s strategically practiced her throws for her bouquet so you’d catch it and your gown would nOt go to waste

having a wedding happen right where you are, but being in it as a guest instead of a planner, is just so much... calmer

you’re not fixing the chaos but you’re just watching it!!! if you feel a little more bubbly then you’re gonna partake in it hee-hee

yoongi’s actually not so bad

he could just be a little too lax which ends up with him being lost and distraught

you could see so much of you in him when you were just starting out and it’s endearing actually

(( nayeon’s told you in passing that she once told yoongi that you were her best friend and he looked both intimidated and awed at the same time ))

the only thing you help yoongi with is sending him a thumbs-up every now and then and he perks uP because that’s the signal that he’s doing a good job and not fucking up

nayeon looks so beautiful and you’re already tearing up fixing her veil :((

you know how wedding photographers and videographers LOVE people crying???? they r probably eating your shit up so quick that you won’t be surprised if you take up atleast half of the same-day edit of their wedding film

there’s something so serene about the hecticness everyone’s indulged themselves in

you’re grinning when you walk down the aisle because you realize that omg you haven’t doNE this in a long time!!!

the last time you did was testing out the aisle for a client that wanted it ala crazy rich asians and you had to walk back and forth cOLD-ASS water with damp rolled-up pant cuffs before they got the temperature and the levels right

nah you should definitely know how it’d be because after all :D you aRE the consultant for that scene in crazy rich asians :D no biggie :D

it’s such a serene blast to see everyone happy and in their element

you’re sitting the reception out bc yoongi very kindly pleaded to please give him notes and promising that he’d never tell it to anyone else

the whole planning process for nayeon and not oNCE did he bring a notebook..,., but he just hAPPENS to have one when you’re telling him how to say no to your client

“listen, you have to tell them in the sincerest way possible, that you tried everything. it gets them going when you tell them that you even pleaded with the vendors, but don’t go too low on your knees, alright? and then after that, you say a strict no. no, because their choice of flowers is absolutely sHIT for their tie-dye theme they’re so adamant about!”

yoongi has never listened so intently

not even when his roommate lists out their grocery checklist

“mhmm. and if they still push, should i give them an ultimatum? or tell them about a wedding that totally happened that did exactly what they were planning, and how much the guests hated it?”

okay nOW he’s talking

“what you do is...”

the buzz of the reception never really dies down because it’s barely even starting!! the couple’s still finishing up on their pictorial which gives everyone time to get to the venue and freshen up or get last-minute gifts lmao

you know that it’s starting when the band or the dj starts doing polished mic checks

mic check! one, two, three! sKRRRRRRRRRRRRRRA

no, no

there’s something definitely wrong

the rolling and the lull of routine words just seem so familiar

mic check! J-A-Y! H-O-P-E! J-HOPE! jung-...

fucking

gOD

that’s hoseok.

that is most dEFINITELY hoseok

you turn your back to see the stage set-up and god...... fuck

it’s someone you haven’t seen in the flesh for two years yet spent the years of your life with before that

he looks sickening in his black mandarin-collared suit with thick white lining on it wITH his hair styled up and parted to the site

it’s even more sickening for you because you don’t actually know if you can mANAGE to be here

you’re standing up abruptly and yoongi squawks at that because he is the furthesT thing from being finished about asking how to make the guests arrive on time without holding a field trip assembly-like type of line with the megaphone

the fastest way out was dashing through the front part and you must have forgotten that hoseok has a knack for catching things with his perfectly good eyesight

“y/n?”

ok what now

he mumbles your name to the mic, his eyebrows furrowing as his eyes trail the speed-walking speck of mauve from in front of him

his little question to himself must have gotten people more than curious

they’re already mORE than curious because it’s his goddamn band that’s playing!!!! and the fees are not cheap and it’s practically impossible to book them!!!

but jungkook, their drummer, was a close friend of the groom’s and alright.,.,. okay maybe we CAN play at weddings now

ok hoseok’s mind is probably just playing tricks on him and he should finish setting up before the lights dim again for what they insist is the 𝓼𝓱𝓸𝓬𝓴 𝓯𝓪𝓬𝓽𝓸𝓻

but then he can’t help but look oNE last time

then he sees the watch he’s gifted you on his wrist — one that he was supposed to give you at graduation but later made his mom give it to you instead and not say that it was from him

...

....

whew he might need his inhaler for this one and he doesn’t even hAVE asthma

oh my god what the hELL is hoseok doing here????

you haven’t seen him for two years, and the moment you do, it’s in your best friend’s wedding with no date present??

you’re clearly panicking and the only form of caffeine you’ve gotten is the pre-game of getting a few bites from the coffee ganache in nayeon’s wedding cake that she was munching on while getting her makeup done

you know what!! it’s fine

it’s totally fine :D

hoseok is just hoseok and you’re not gonna be intimated by the man you’ve been loving in the sidelines from practically your whole life :D

it’s not a big deal!

besides, people are looking for you bc you’re supposed to give the opening toast to welcome nayeon and her groom in

you’re walking, you’re talking, aaaaaaaand-

yeah this is not nOT a big deal

you’re crumbling from the inside out because seeing hoseok is just too painful after two years of wondering where you could’ve went wrong and what could’ve happened if the two of you didn’t fall out

you feel especially bitter when hoseok starts singing their famous song about love and everything in between

everyone’s sWOONING and on their feet and you’re literally just there vibrating with how furious you are

you keep downing the good champagne as iF it’s gonna get you drunk

yoongi has a clue that the server must be a little dizzy having to go and back forth to your table so he just offers his portion to you

you’re so goddamn busy and absorbed with loathing him that you don’t even turn your back to notice that his eyes keep flickering to you

even at the cheesiest lyric, hobi expects that you’d atleast LOOK at him for that one but nOOOO your champagne flute and the blondie beside you is just much more interesting

you’re buzzing with anger that you aren’t enjoying this reception At All

you fail to even recognize that nayeon’s intentionally had your favorite food to be served!!! and you have an extra portion delivered to your table!!!

you just want your suffering to eND wow absolutely how much longer could this go

you’re so busy with cussing the whole ordeal in your head that you didn’t even notice how the band isn’t playing anymore and instead everyone’s swooning over the cake

it’s lost in you that hoseok’s shooed yoongi from his chair, sitting right beside you and even scooting closer until his knees bump to your own

and that’s when it sinks in

hobi doesn’t even have time to tell you how beautiful you look because you’ve gone straight to seething him

“for the record, i want you to know that i hate you.”

...

okay hoseok didn’t expect that

for all he knows, the two of you even vOWED to never say the h word even if it’s meant jokingly!!

it’s a lethal word and the two of you collectively agreed to never play with it in regards to saying to one another

but well here you are

you’re saying it as if you’ve never been more sure of anything in your whole life

you feel actually relieved to say it to him right to his face, a miniscule weight lifted from your shoulders while your arms are crossed just by looking at him

hoseok does you one better with a timid chuckle, looking down on his rings that he’s fiddling with nervously

“yeah. i hate me too.”

.... oh

you’re perplexed at his reply so much so that you’re speechless

you’ve been keeping to yourself what you should say to him the moment you see him for two years and now that he agrees to what you’ve just said.,.,.,

oh fuck that

“i hate you so much, hoseok! i don’t even know what i did wrong and i asked even your own mother what’s wrong with me! did you know that you are, without a doubt, so fucking selfish???”

you exclaim as quietly as you could but that doesn’t stop people from glancing because the two most-known people in the room, besides the bride and groom, are having what seems to be an... intimate conversation with how close the two of you are??

“did you even try once to consider how painful it was for me to wonder why i just am the way that i am? or is that even too big of an inconveniece for you to think about because you’re so busy?”

“did you suddenly get too big for me, huh?” you ask straightly without malice, not even thinking about the double meaning because clearly, you’re too PRESSED lightly jabbing your finger to his chest

right he deserves that

hoseok’s fucked up big-time, that much he knows

his eyes are actually stinging right now and he would ask you for your handkerchief that you used to always carry for him but uH he thinks he doesn’t deserve any of that

“why couldn’t you just tell me what was in your mind? you know that nothing would change whatever it was that-”

“i love you, okay?”

hoseok interrupts you with his mumble before he sets his eyes down once again on your watch

you’re speechless for long this time

“..... w-what?”

okay maybe he fucked up even more

“listen i-...”

“if you love me, a single text wouldn’t have hurt, hobi!!”

your chest doesn’t hurt anymore but it iS constricting with the amount of emotions and scenarios you’re trying to process

he’s kinda lost because oh my god you aren’t mAD anymore!!

and you don’t look fazed that he just declared his love for you

“i dropped you because i-i — i don’t want the people i love seeing me fuck up, y’know? i finished uni for the sake of it, and i didn’t even know if the band thing would work out!!”

“but baby it dID work out!!!!”

jesus christ hoseok may be a fucking iDIOT

you’re shaking him by the shoulders and he actually has to stand up so he wouldn’t fall by your ministrations

you feel so happy because your processing was just about to be finished, equal parts relieved and happy and maybe a tiny bit confused still

“it did work out because look at you now!! hobi, you could’ve just called me and i would’ve accepted the call before it even rings!!” you’re happily frustrated with him that you push him until the two of you are in the dance floor, his mouth curving up both in disbelief and giddiness

“i didn’t because i thought-...”

he’s interrupted by a swift and tight hug to his middle, his arms moving on their own to envelope you in his warmth

the top of your head still smells the same :D

his purpose is lost before he gathers his bearings once again, freezing in his stance before weakly attempting to push you off

“... you were married.”

the harsh sQUINT of your eyes you’re giving him prompt him to explain

why is he so nervous

“i-i go to your instagram? and well you uh, you posted this pic of you in the middle of the aisle???? you had your back turned and your silhouette’s seen then you were holding a bouquet!!! then after that, i-i never opened your account. jesus christ, is your husband here with you, y/n? what am i supposed to-...”

the realization’s starting to sink into hoseok because it’s something he’s shoved to the back of his head and now he’s seeing it straight-on

you’re throwing your head back laughing at him :D

great

now he’s both heartbroken AND a fool

there’s a gentle kiss on his cheek, one he didn’t expect and one he doesn’t hate

“i’m a wedding planner.”

god now this is just so fucking funny

the two of you fell out and remained distanced because of just a series of unprecedented miscommunications!!!

the whole thing is so ridiculous that it actually feels light and relieving to talk about

“you’re.... a wedding planner,” he mumbles once again for confirmation, his loose arms around your waist now tightening

oh my god

hoseok starts chuckling to himself out of delight, turning to full-on cackles with you at how much the two of you have just been beside each other like parallel lines

“i need to make up the past two years to you.”

he declares seriously as a promise, pressing a tender wet kiss to your cheek that gets you giggling

“only if you write me a song,” you do him one better, kissing him on the corner of his mouth

“don’t you know that most of them are about you? anyways, you should plan our wedding once it happens,” he’s forward with his words, having waited long enough that he nuzzles his nose to yours

you’re gonna do him one even better

you’re gonna go right for the kill, the truth spilling out of you before you kiss him longingly, for the first time that it feels that it’s been something you’ve always yearned for

“don’t you know that you’re in my mind for every single one?”

#feedback pls and thank you :D YEEEEET LAST PIECE FOR 2020!!!!#hoseok #jung hoseok #hoseok imagine #hoseok imagines #hoseok drabble #hoseok drabbles #hoseok au #hoseok oneshot #hoseok oneshots #hoseok x reader #hoseok x y/n #hoseok angst #hoseok angst imagine #hoseok fluff #hoseok fluff imagine #hoseok fluff imagines #hoseok fic rec #hoseok fic recs

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dreamteamfanblog · 3 years

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Obligatory I haven't kept up with Season Three at all and everything I talk about is pre Tommy dying, pre Niki joining the syndicate, pre Red Banquet, pre Los Navadas, pre Wilbur Revival, and pre Tommy/Ranboo marriage. To the point where I don't actually know functionally anything about any of the events I just mentioned except that they are the names of things that have gone down that y'all may know about so you can figure out when I stopped watching and what the most recent events at the time were. Pretty much everything I bring up in any of my posts will be primarily based in season one or season two discourse/events and I cannot promise anything is accounted for past the season two finale.

SO ONTO THE ACTUAL POST.

Hey why is it that the Techno Apologists never latch onto any examples of L'manburg actually being fucked up?

Like, it's always whining about how Techno was Betrayed when Pogtopia did literally exactly what they had been openly planning to do since the beginning, or about how The Butcher Army was supposedly so Mean and Bad for trying to execute Techno, or about how....idk man, L'manburg being awful solely because they were involved in so much conflict?

Which I mean not only are all of these arguments very weirdly untrue.

They're also super hypocritical.

Like it's so consistently argued that Techno didn't betray Pogtopia since he made his intentions clear from the start, but that also debunks their point that Techno was betrayed on account of the fact that Pogtopia made their intentions clear from the start too. People cheered and loudly passionately agreed and supported Techno's "And those that treat me with injustice — that use me, that hunt me down, that hurt my friends — I shall repay that injustice a thousand times over!" thing and yet this adamant support of such brutal retribution during a conflict in which Techno himself had landed the first blow....actively contradicts the narrative that the Butcher Army are bad and evil and had no right to do what they did? I mean Techno literally canonically both hunted Quackity down and hurt his friends and the case that Techno was used at all is only about as strong as the case that he used the others so either both of em' were or neither were, and in either case, there's no leg to stand on when Techno apologists happily support Techno destroying an entire nation including the lives and homes of people who had nothing to do with The Butcher Army yet also scoff at the very idea that executing a war criminal for murder and terrorism against them could possibly be anything other than horrifically evil and corrupt! Not to mention that again, "L'manburg are filled with such Violent Troublemakers who cause so much Chaos and Conflict", is a really weird and hypocritical thing to claim when you're defending mister Blood For The Blood God over here who literally jumped in the second he heard the word Revolution because he was just that fucking ready to fight then canonically took the lives of multiple members of L'manburg and blew up their whole city while explicitly talking about his desire for Chaos in a "Dog Eat Dog World"????

Like not only is it pretty easy to argue all these points on a "that's like factually incorrect?" basis alone but even completely refusing to touch that angle, literally nothing L'manburg did that's brought up by Techno Apologists as a gotcha can stand as an actual argument in his favour because every single fucking bit of it is stuff that Techno himself holds as part of his Oh So Righteous Ideology and it really doesn't work to say "Retribution is bad, but Retribution For Retribution! THAT I can get behind!" or "Conflict is bad, except when the bloodshed is For The Blood God of course" or "Pogtopia still Used and Betrayed him even though they were upfront from the start and the alliance was a mutual agreement initiated by Techno actually but Techno didn't use or betray anyone, he was upfront from the start and the alliance was a mutual agreement, how could he have betrayed them?"

Which is actually Painful lately because THERE ARE ACTUAL POINTS YA'LL COULD BE MAKING THAT AREN'T COMPLETELY FALSE OR HYPOCRITICAL ACTUALLY!

I don't support c!Techno by any means, in large part because I don't think he believes what he says and even if he did he hurts the people in his attempts to 'help'. But i'd like to point out very easy arguments to make in favour of the ideology and stance many Techno apologists seem keen on arguing he has.

For example, what about the L'manburg election? Two of the parties committed voter fraud which actively put the liberty/freedom of the people at risk. There was literally One decent party who's entire reason for joining was literally "Hey that's really fucked up that you just tried to ensure your own governmental power through unfair means at the expense of the people's agency?" with a side point of "Also while we're at it maybe you shouldn't ban a whole group of people from your country entirely all because like Two people who happen to be part of that group hurt you, that's kinda messed up too" and then there was a fourth party who literally Opened their campaign by swinging at other people and manically declaring their power. In the end the guys who literally tried to rig the election and honestly should have been banned outright from running because of the blatant act of corruption still won popular vote and in a desperate attempt to mediate how Bad of a decision the people had made there the one halfway decent candidate pooled votes with the only dude who didn't commit voter fraud but then the people still suffered because the coalition was quickly completely overpowered by the more corrupt/violent party and literally no amount of attempts to make things better through begging him to listen or going behind his back to free people who'd been unfairly imprisoned or anything else along those lines could change the fact that "I'm the president here, not you~". This situation was really fucked up. Behind door number one we've got the Hamilton Cosplay Tyrants who keep talking about the Glory Days or the War Effort or whatever and won't let anyone who doesn't have a similar enough accent to them into the country. Door number two are the Baked Goods Tyrants who are using this election to promote their cookies and stick it to the candidates dad that he's cooler than him or whatever, they literally hack the voter count and are Known for dragging other people into petty conflict (and not like "fighting your oppressors is so unnecessary" anti-l'manburg bad take levels of supposed "petty conflict", i mean like, actual petty conflict, case in point the damn pet wars). Then with door number three there's the Alcoholism-Is-Cool Tyrant man who at least didn't fudge any votes but also has never not been drunk and literally hunted the other candidates for sport when he first showed up so I mean in what world is this guy a stable candidate for anything at all, much less for a position of authority over people as influential as president. Now, behind door number four, there's actually a...pretty decent option? The entire reason he joined to begin with is because he was absolutely enraged by the corrupt bs the others were pulling with their little "run a single party election" stunt. The other party's spread blatantly false quotes supposedly from him to make him look bad. The other parties go out of their way to burn down his builds. He's honestly relatively cordial in comparison but still hits hard during debates, mainly because he's got some points. "There's good in everyone", i've been told he'd insisted, trying his best to talk to one of the other candidates and get to know him only to be shut down entirely. There were three AWFUL candidates and one honestly good one. And yet the way the system was set up meant there was pretty much no chance of winning. Meant the people were screwed no matter what. The people trying to commit ballot fraud and slandering the competition were the ones who set the terms of the election, two complete randos who didn't bother signing up initially showed up drunk or trying to prove something to their dad and also just all around being Awful and they were still allowed to enter. Which all kinda fucked Quackity over, actually. And then he was forced to either let Wilbur have full control knowing how corrupt and manipulative he was or pool votes with the violent drunk and maybe swerve their shared administration into something good. The entire setup from the word go completely fucked over Quackity and that

completely fucked over the innocent people of L'manburg. And even going into their shared administration, Quackity was so powerless! Schlatt did horrible corrupt things to everyone and Quackity was there at every juncture trying his absolute best to mediate that. But there was so little he could do from his position that he had to resort to very non legal methods like breaking Niki out of jail behind Schlatt's back, standing in the blast radius while he tried to convince Schlatt not to go through with Tubbo's execution because they can't just take the shot with him standing in the line of fire trying to talk them out of it surely, and even eventually firing an arrow into Schlatt and being the only person to canonically have the guts to not only walk out of Manburg of their own free will openly spiting Schlatt, but the only person who had the guts to purposefully take a life from him as well. And. Well. THIS IS ALL A HUGE FUCKING ISSUE. There was no good reason someone corrupt had to win that election, there was even a decent candidate running! And genuinely for no other reason than because the alternatives were Really Fucked Up as well! Then the fact that Quackity, even as vice president, had so little say in anything that he wasn't even legally allowed to protect good people from wrongful imprisonment or stop Schlatt from tearing down priceless monuments that meant a LOT to people? That's so much worse. Corrupt people designing the system specifically to facilitate their corruption and lend an unreasonable amount of power to a select few people to the extent where the goddamn vice president, another member of the government, can't do anything legally to stop the president from doing horrific things. That's bad. That is actually really bad. And even beyond the bullshit of the election and how little Quackity could do about any of this despite literally doing everything he was supposed to and was legally capable of doing, there's the added layer of how little agency the people of L'manburg had in all of this! Schlatt's main political rivals were immediately exiled- and not even for the corruption scandal, literally just because they were Schlatt's political rivals- and he literally threw his dissenters in jail not to mention executing a kid and tearing down important history. I mean, he had an approval rate of Literally Nobody and was actively hurting/oppressing his people. And there seemed to be literally no impeachment process at all in place and when the people he was meant to lead unanimously took up arms against him THEY were criticized and labeled as villainous usurpers as the vague ideal of ~Legality~ was placed as more important than actual real life people. trying to live without a dictator hanging constantly over them! Schlatt's technical legal position is regularly cited as a mark against the Pogtopia revolution, because apparently Schlatt's right to sit upon a blood coated throne drinking his life away ruling a ghost town where nobody felt they could safely live was somehow more important than the rights of every single person who lived in and loved that nation to stay alive and feel secure in their own homes! In this case the government did fail. In this case corrupt people set up a corrupt system that boosted other corrupt people with no reasonable way for any single good politician to negate nor any way for the people themselves to change this. Not without going outside of the law and being deemed immoral for impeding on the rule of their rightful leader. This IS a situation in which the government systematically hurt and failed the people in ways that were near impossible to change or escape. THIS IS L'MANBURG HAVING A CORRUPT GOVERNMENT.

Look no further than mister Dreamwastaken for more examples of governmental corruption! I mean, sure, Dream never technically held an office, but his lack of title does nothing to change his position as the ruler of the Smp. Dream is the one who names and dethrones kings, Dream is the one who chooses which nations to legitimize and which to destroy, Dream is the decider of the laws of this land and he can add or remove them as he pleases down to exerting his permission to break even the most sacred laws of the server such as killing within the holy lands. It doesn't matter if Dream had a specific title, he was, by definition, Government. Government is "the governing body of a nation, state, or community", a governing body is the person/people with authority to conduct the policy, actions, and affairs of a state, organization, or people. Dream. Was. Government. Corrupt government! From the very beginning of the server exerting his supreme god given control over people who didn't want it! Lying, cheating, stealing, killing, forcing his will onto others, hurting the people constantly. Dream was an honest to god tyrant, even moreso than any other villain on the server had ever been! And if you look back at every other awful thing that happened in the series it links back almost without fail to him. To his control. I mean need I remind everyone that one of the primary reasons Schlatt wasn't forcefully overthrown sooner was because Dream was standing in support of his rule? Need I remind everyone that the entire reason L'manburg ever had to exist anyway was because unionizing and protesting and standing as a united front was the only way the people of the server could hope to escape Dream's unwanted and oppressive government? Dream stood behind the actions of damn near every terrible government official we ever saw as well with the one exception being maybe Badboyhalo. Dream was government and he was extremely corrupt. Like. BLATANTLY so.

And god, i'm still shocked by how little I saw Techno apologists talk about the fucking exile. I mean dear god. That was the accumulation of like Every shitty government problem in the whole server. I mean first off enter Dream being unreasonable and Awful again, obviously, I mean Tommy burned a few blocks, who cares, it was fixed in like five seconds and George didn't even care that much. But Dream used his position as, y'know, the governing body of the Smp, to blow it out of proportion and demand Tommy be unfairly and disproportionately punished. Not only did Dream's governing position enable him to do this, he took advantage of George's and Tommy's own positions as a means to twist the narrative in his favour. Dream blatantly exploited his government position, George's government position, Tommy's government position, and then worst of all Tubbo's. Quackity and Fundy desperately urged Tubbo not to go through with the exile, Ranboo swiftly snapped to Tommy's defense and called out that this whole thing was completely unfair, Tommy himself was completely dismayed and insisted this wasn't right. And it wasn't! Anyone could see that, this whole situation was a blatant abuse of government power in like ten different ways from Dream and the only thing to do was to shut him down! It would be a betrayal to everything they stood for, to their personal relationships, to the duty they had to protect innocent people, to general morality and basic principles, to go through with the exile, and the majority of people felt this very strongly. Wanted to protect Tommy and themselves from Dream's governmental abuse. But Tubbo did it anyway. This was the decision of two people and two people alone. Dreamwastaken and Tubbounderscore. But their opinions were the only ones that mattered, because they're the leaders. They're the heads of government. And if they spoke the command, to see that Tommyinnit were out of their territories where he would be tortured and abused for months? Then so be it. Then their word is law. Fundy and Quackity were struck with complete horror, they screamed, they pushed, they were in complete and utter disarray, and there was nothing they could do as long as Tubbo held to his decision because as we established back during Schlatt's reign, not even a good politician desperate for things to be better holds a candle to the decision of the president, and there's nothing that can be done, because he's president and they're not. Within much of the fandom Quackity and Fundy were criticized for "disrespecting" Tubbo's choice. Because what right did they have to speak out against the choice of the president? Tubbo was in charge, and it was their job to shut up and facilitate his decisions. That was an implication I saw often at the time. That because Tubbo was president, because of his title, his governmental position, his opinion was inherently more important and was absolutely not subject to scrutiny from those 'below' him. That the anger and hurt and fear of Quackity and Fundy, of real people, for their livelihoods and their safety and their friend, were less important than Tubbo's decision. This placement of Tubbo as 'above' the others and the implication that they are obligated to bite their tongues for the sake of 'respect' towards their president and his authority? It was complete and total bullshit. And I fully expected the Techno apologists to come out of the woodwork to affirm this! I fully expected to be able to agree with the Techno apologists for once, maybe not on every level, but at the very least on the level that this situation oozed governmental abuse from every pore and the idea that real people who felt hurt and scared and betrayed and angry because of Tubbo and Dream's little political nightmare were somehow out of line in their intense feelings because Tubbo's word is law and they need to show some respect to their government? I thought immediately that there was NO way in HELL this wouldn't be picked up immediately by the anti government Techno apologists!

But the thing is. It wasn't.

None of these were.

Techno apologists rarely acknowledge any of these actual examples of the government being really fucked up in favour of exhaustingly see through and hypocritical non examples to justify Techno's anti-government stance.

And, well, I highly suspect the reason for this is exactly the reason I can't support the perspective of c!Techno to begin with despite how I just went on my own rant about government corruption.

And that reason is because Techno, and by association the people who argue for his world view, don't actually care.

I mean, let me ask you a question. Just really, truly, honestly. In all of these examples of real honest to god government corruption issues from Wilbur to Schlatt to Dream.....who were the victims?

The people.

The people of L'manburg.

Tubbo, Niki, Fundy, Tommyinnit, Quackity. I mean they Kinda played parts in Some of these issues but usually under direst distress/manipulation from Wilbur or Schlatt or Dream.

The people who suffered, the people who's lives were effected, the people who were disproportionally hurt by all of the real governmental issues on the server are the people of L'manburg. The people who suffered under Schlatt's leadership, the child executed unfairly, the woman thrown in prison, the one politician who fought to make things right but was overpowered at every step, the people who lost their homes, the people who lost their friends, the other child exiled and abused for months for no good reason, the two who begged and pleaded and did everything to stop it only to be left powerless to protect him, even the young president himself cornered into this decision by fear and trauma and threats from somebody intent on exploiting the governmental dynamics to hurt people. Those are the fucking victims!

And nobody defending a Techno perspective can afford to acknowledge a situation in which the people of L'manburg are the victims!

It's a question nobody seems to know how to answer, really. The argument is made and even taken for granted as true that Techno things governments are corrupt and oppressive, he did what he did to protect the people this oppression would hurt. But who exactly are these people Techno protected? Where are these livelihoods defended? These lives saved? These homes maintained? These happy people Techno saved from the oppressive government?

The truth is that they're not real.

And the only people Techno ever managed to hurt were the victims he claims to be defending from the corruption of governments.

Now, the sources of corruption were Wilbur, Schlatt, Dream, and their policies. The way the elections were set up, the unfair power dynamic established by the corrupt first two presidents of the nation, and the control/abuse Dream exerted from his own governmental position. So naturally anybody who wants to actually tackle government corruption in the Smp needs to take care of them first and foremost. Get Wilbur and Schlatt out of power at least, get rid of Dream period, and then start reforming and limiting governmental controls. If not completely dismantling the government at least establishing things within L'manburg like actually effective checks and balances within the governmental body, setting up an impeachment process, putting harder vigilance onto what a president can or can't do, upheaving and adding more restrictions/rules/protections within the election system, etc. Outside of L'manburg would be trickier, however it likely wouldn't be too difficult to at least significantly alter/water-down the roles of Eret or George or whoever the king is at this point, again, if not entirely abolishing the role. The Badlands are a weird situation and honestly especially with the whole egg thing they'd for sure still be an Issue and a lot harder to reform but I mean to be fair their whole schtick is literally just being a corrupt government and trying to take as much land as possible and rule the world so what you wanna do there is use the same force you used with Wilbur, Schlatt, and Dream to disband The Badlands.

"Woah Woah Woah, you talk about that like it's so easy, that wouldn't be possib-"

yes it would be.

Schlatt died of alcohol poisoning before we could even touch him, Wilbur threw himself onto a sword with gusto, and Dream for all his bravado literally did not put up any fight once people got off their asses for two seconds to take care of him, okay? And again, The Badlands are a more worrying situation with The Egg and the amount of land they own and Sam's jurisdiction over the prison and all, but I mean from what i've heard via word of mouth pretty much everyone's canonically sick of their shit and are fairing pretty well thus far all things considered.

"Okay, fine, Beating People Up is easy enough, but what about the real work of government reforms?!? All these people are so Greedy and Powerhungry they'd neve-"

That's the whole thing, though, isn't it? They're NOT. Quackity spent literally the first two seasons at least as an active part of the government and he did fuck all for himself, he spent the whole time trying to stop Wilbur's corruption after finding out about his voter fraud or trying to stop Schlatt's corruption from hurting people or trying to stop Dream's corruption or trying to make sure his friends aren't abused/killed/jailed for no good reason or trying to keep their homes from being blown up again and the only reason he even got involved in politics at all was literally specifically because Wilbur was trying to run a one party election and SOMEONE had to put their foot down there, Quackity's always been very about Power To The People and preserving the rights/history of the people generally and has a history of stepping back into a less commanding role when he's secure in the knowledge that he doesn't Need to be taking charge or everyone might suffer/die/lose-their-homes-again. Tommy outright refused to be president when he was given the chance and has really consistently moreso cheered for the people he loves when they land in some sort of office rather than persuing leadership himself, and while he's been very willing to take up a leadership role when it's needed and people are in danger/in need of someone to step up and rally them, Tommy would really rather just listen to his music discs and spend time with his friends and pull a few relatively harmless pranks here and there and make big ugly (/lh/pos) cobble towers that he's so proud of anyway and doesn't seem to get why everyone else exasperatedly roll their eyes at them because he just thinks they're so neat! Tubbo is much the same, he took on a leadership position when it didn't seem there was any other choice but to do so but he's been content to play support for the most part other than that and really truly just wants to live a peaceful life with his bees and his best friend. Fundy and Niki actively chased the presidency at one point, of course, and I used their campaign as an example of corrupt bs as well, but honestly they were just dumb rebellious teens who didn't seem to get the weight of the election and just kinda like handed out pastries then lost miserably, so I mean, more than forgivable on their part, really, and for the large majority of L'manburg's history they followed in everyone else's pattern of stepping in when people need to be protected but otherwise just trying to live happy peaceful normal lives. This little group spent the large majority of their time in L'manburg just trying to defend themselves and their homes and each other from corruption and oppression so that maybe just maybe they could finally get to rest knowing that nobody's in any danger. If the danger went away, so would their need to step in. Quackity would go do some dumb (/lh/pos) bit where he puts on a ridiculous skin and sings even more ridiculous songs, Niki would be baking cookies and sharing them with her best buddy Fundy and anyone else who wanted to drop by, Tubbo and Tommy would be in a field somewhere watching the bees and listening to Mellohi while they giggle to themselves waiting for someone to find the big goofy posters they put up everywhere as a prank. That's who they were for the large majority of their arcs throughout L'manburg's existence. On the other side of things neither George nor Eret really care too deeply about the crown either. George only ever wanted a crown after he lost it, not because of the power, but because he was hurt by Dream's lack of regard for him. Eret on the other hand has a precedent of putting aside his crown for the wellbeing of other people and has long since resolved himself to be better than the person he used to be. None of them would be opposed to heavy reformation or even absolution of government powers. The entire reason L'manburg even exists is because of the fear and trauma and pain that came from the oppressive government force that is Dream and the people's desire to cling together for a chance at personal

freedom, with the threats gone they don't need to hold on quite so hard. These were never powerhungry monsters, these were victims of oppression and abuse and violence that spent their entire lives trying to defend themselves and their homes so they could just be happy and free.

These are the measures Techno SHOULD have taken! These are the people he SHOULD have been protecting! If he stands by his ideology that governments are oppressive and hurt people and if he truly did want to protect people from that oppression then why DIDN'T he?!?

Why didn't his morals and principals and desire to take down oppressors kick in during the festival when he was ordered by a tyrant to kill a child and did it instead of standing up and protecting the victims of tyranny?!? Why didn't he take Wilbur down when he realized how full of greed envy Wilbur was and that he planned to hurt people?!? Why did he, multiple times, work with Dream, the epitome of government oppression on the server?!? Why is it that the only people Techno consistently targets are the VICTIMS of the actual governmental oppression that Techno largely ignores?!?

And THAT is exactly why you don't see Techno apologists going on and on about how unfair the election was because of Wilbur or how the presidency in L'manburg was set up to where despite people trying desperately to push back Schlatt could not be opposed legally or how Dream is literally the most horrifically oppressive tyrant who is a prime example of how governments can be extremely corrupt. You never see Techno apologists going on about any of these ACTUAL issues because when you talk about Wilbur and Schlatt and Dream a bit too in detail a little bit of focus ends up on who exactly their victims were and there doesn't seem to be a good explanation regarding Techno's extreme actions only extending to victims of governmental abuse often in only minor roles of power if even that out of necessity to protect against the real oppressors. Why Techno's extreme actions frequently involved working alongside these actual oppressive forces against a group of people who literally want to be left alone and are only part of/live under a government like the one they do because they're in constant danger and this is the only way to maybe protect yourself and others against someone like Dream.

Tommy, Tubbo, Quackity, Fundy, and Niki shouldn't have been Techno's enemies. They shouldn't have been his targets! THEY hate oppressive government just as much as he does! They don't want anything to do with this bullshit anymore than he does! The side you see Techno Apologists claim he's on is literally THEIR SIDE. If he truly believes what he says and wants to fight tyranny then these are his allies! These are the victims he's so invested in looking out for! And yet these are the people he's slaughtering and bombing and aiding in the oppression of!

Techno apologism, by its very nature, requires you to see these citizens of L'manburg as oppressive. Requires you to see at least Tommy and Quackity as powergrabbing foolish tyrants who care more about the government then people. I heavily suspect this is the primary reason most Techno apologists aren't keen on looking at actual examples of this government corruption Techno talks so much about.

I mean, if you bring up the election in too much detail as an example, stressful little details like Wilbur's voter fraud and the fact that Quackity's entire motive for ever running for an office was to prevent government corruption. Which is a sticky scenario because Techno helps Wilbur in the end and seriously hurt Quackity in specific a Lot throughout this arc. Techno apologism relies a biiitttt too much at speeding by Wilbur real quick and hoping nobody points out that Wilbur wasn't motivated by a desire to get rid of governments but rather by a sense of envy and entitlement that if he can't have it noone can as well as relying on the ability to swiftly and decisively assert Quackity's motives as powergrabbing from the election onwards. Examining the corruption in the election itself throws that off. A Lot. When you have to look head on at Wilbur's corruption the fact that his "If I can't have it noone can" thing was a corrupt government official hurting the people out of envy and pride, and Wilbur's main source of contention being Quackity very quickly comes into focus as everyone suddenly remembers that hey, wasn't Quackity the only one who didn't commit fraud, and didn't he run in the first place to fight government corruption? And then Techno's role in all of this looks significantly odder and less in line with the claims that he's heroically opposing corruption. Furthermore examining the power dynamics of the tyranny within Schlatt's reign, you see a president with too much power enabled by Wilbur's shotty election system and Dream's vocal support, something outwardly opposed by the people beneath them; Tommy, Tubbo, Niki, Fundy, Quackity, who are all hurt by this abuse of government power more than anybody else is. Similarly the exile decision. Examining Dream as a tyrant is in of itself a sore spot on account of Techno's fairly frequent alliances with him. But even worse is what happens when you acknowledge the extent of Tubbo's power as president and the idea that his decision is inherently more important than the feeling of his people who he hurt, which is a good point towards the corruption of the government, but intensely highlights Fundy and Quackity's responses as valid or even correct, something that Techno apologists really can't do for obvious reasons.

Techno's perspective and actually defending it relies heavily on the villainization of victims and the understatement of real sources of corruption. It's a trade off, it seems. There are many points that can be made to form a very strong case against the government dynamics on the smp, something that would do wonders in strengthening the Techno Apologist claim that Government Bad, Anarchy Right, however this comes at the tradeoff of making it clear that the oppressive government forces come from people like Dream or Wilbur and not people like Quackity or Tommy who are the victims of said oppressive government, something that you REALLY cannot afford to imply if you're trying to argue that Techno was right and was working from a desire to prevent oppression when he worked with Dream and Wilbur to hurt Quackity and Tommy. I doubt this is intentional obviously because who the fuck takes a stance in discourse that they Know For A Fact Is False, lol, but if you believe Techno's right then you also have to believe the people of L'manburg are power hungry or tyrannical which means doing these mental gymnastics often without realizing it.

So we see these debates stick to examples like The Butcher Army, things that are significantly flimsier but also aren't liable to literally cripple their claim if examined too closely.

But the truth continues to be that Techno has irreparably hurt and traumatized the victims of the very kind of governmental abuse that it's so often claimed he's protecting people from. When he should have been fighting people like Dream, Wilbur, and Schlatt, and helping the people of L'manburg recover and reform their community, he instead attacked and destroyed and killed these people, often fighting alongside real tyrants in doing so.

I mean, hell, if Techno really was super against oppressive governments and wanted to fight/destroy them and help the victims? He and Quackity would be best friends. Quackity stood up against Wilbur's corruption at every turn and was the first person to do so, and if Techno actually fought corruption half as much as he claims to, he would have been right there with Quack rather than colluding with Wilbur to destroy innocent people's land. During the festival execution Quackity was trying his absolute best to put a stop to it and even stood in the blast radius while doing so, if Techno had cared half as much as he claims he does about tyranny then he wouldn't have taken the fucking shot, not with Quackity in the line of fire, not at Tubbo to begin with. Quackity realized that they needed to shake Dream off once and for all or they'd never truly be free from abuse of power from those above them, and if Techno really truly had a vested interest in freeing victims from governments that hurt them then he would have been right there at Quackity's side throughout season two. And yet not once, through the two seasons I watched of screentime with them, not once was there a moment in which they were working towards the same thing. At the festival, Techno had the chance to run or refuse or realign his shot to take out Schlatt instead and very likely would have made it out alright, meanwhile Quackity was actively putting his life at risk by standing where he was and making the attempts he was to make Schlatt see reason even though Quackity was pretty much unarmed, had a rocket pointed near him, and his entire life was in L'manburg, it was Quackity who had more to lose and Techno who had the chance to run, and yet it was Quackity alone who stood against the orders of a tyrant and voiced that this shouldn't be happening, and it was Techno who took not only Quackity's life but the life of a child as well when he took the shot anyway. As soon as he'd joined Pogtopia, Quackity was opposing Wilbur, standing besides Tommy in the button room and putting his own life on the line as well while they tried desperately to convince Wilbur not to ruin innocent people's lives, and yet Techno not only never put himself at risk to stop Wilbur, he actively collaborated with Wilbur, with a corrupt politician, as he planned to selfishly steal the happiness of the people just because he lost his own power. That's not even to speak of Doomsday, in which Techno, with actual corrupt politicians all around him, aimed weapons of mass destruction towards their victims, towards Quackity and everyone he loved. And of course, Techno wasn't there to help fight Dream, the L'manburg cabinet even suspected he may help, he's meant to be against tyranny after all, but of course, Techno wasn't there, and in fact allied himself with Dream yet again throughout the season. If Techno ACTUALLY followed through with his supposed principals, the people of L'manburg would have loved him, especially Quackity, who is very much similar to what Techno claims to be (someone who's fierce in his defense against corruption and who will fight almost without fail for victims of oppression and against harmful systems even if he's not always particularly palatable and nice and malleable in his regard towards tyrants), and the fact that they specifically have been played against each other at literally every single turn to the point where Techno, after having associated himself with helping fuckers like Schlatt, Wilbur, or Dream for so long, joined them on Quackity's list of people who've treated him with injustice, hunted him down, hurt his friends, and needs to be repaid- oh huh sounds familiar. Like Quackity is in a lot of ways what Techno would be if his ideology actually lined up with the heroic freedom fighter against tyranny ideology that's subscribed to him way too often despite the fact that he's either so weirdly out of touch he completely misread ALL the dynamics on this server or he genuinely honest to god doesn't actually believe in or care about his whole I Fight The

Immorality Of Government Corruption thing.

Hell, beyond literally Quackity actually, just look to Puffy for the actually honest and good aligned alternatives for people who say they want to fiercely fight against corruption and actually do it.

Idk man, it's just weird to me. I didn't even plan the ending of this post like at all, the premise was just supposed to be pointing out the actual government corruption and asking why Techno Apologists weren't on that but then the whole 'okay but if you pay attention to all that then techno's literally been targeting the victims of the corruption he claims to hate instead of helping them fight it' realization hit and I was like, Yep, His Whole Anti Government Ideology Still Doesn't Check Out.

#dream smp #dream smp discourse

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aueua · 3 years

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Marona’s Fantastic Tale (2019) AU where the dog lives and others are happier. Idea bounced with @mushrium a few weeks back; details under cut.

Yes, I am aware that hardly anyone knows of this movie (but maybe more’ll know it now due to the streamer albeit even then this is unlikely to be a proper fandom, maybe, maybe not). Doesn’t matter. This now exists for archiving purposes.

First and foremost: Spoilers abound, don’t seek further if you don’t want them by any means - with that said, also good luck if you aren’t aware of what the movie is but I’ll do my best to give some context as necessary. (Post-edit: No clarification. Very sorry.)

See also: The movie is not for everyone but it can be appreciated artistically for its fluidity and variety of styles. There is also a lot of symbolism and the dog narrator is impeccable. I love Nine. I love her, I do.

Okay! Here we go.

Recall the [Lost Dog Sign] that is posted some scenes after Nine (protagonist, dog) left Manole (red and yellow, acrobat entertainer) and she’s picked up by Istvan beloved (Tumblr nose, big guy). Istvan may be driving and potentially distracted; however, he absolutely sees that sign. And it doesn’t quite click, not yet. He’s worried about his mother, his wife, himself, this dog. Dog... Dog! This doesn’t register until he’s arrived at his ill mother’s home. That dog on the wanted sign looks eerily like the one he just picked up... and come to think of it, it did seem well cared for...

So he fudges around, figures out what the number is.

An answer. And with one thing leading to another, Istvan figured that this guy is sincere: He loves this dog much like he does. (But he believed that Manole loved her more, deserved her more, and it isn’t likely he can bring her quite anywhere...) So. They meet up. Guy really is nice, but Istvan can see it - the acrobat’s nerves are a bit shot after all that worrying and desperation to find this dog again. Ana (dog), was it? (There was an inkling that he should call her Sara but Ana is also quite the nice name. It’s fine. And thank goodness, that he did not name her, since goodbyes would be worse.)

They part, and that is that. Istvan checked on his mother, returned to his choking snake of a wife (yellow skin ostritch, black fluff); Manole reobtained his beloved boy (girl, he knows), managed to get a contract that allowed him to work with her in the La Circe (???) troupe thingamabob since it was either them or nothing. Both of these two keep in touch with each other as Istvan is worried and, admittedly, attached to the dog after those moments in the dumps viva la his loneliness. Plus Manole’s a fun personality. He’s considered going to see one of his acts, once, but his wife’s a bit overbearing.

A bit overbearing, as in a time skip occurs and he still had yet to leave her toxic self, nor could he bear to see his mother but still stuck it through.

Come to think of it though. Manole is obviously happy, and so is the dog. He can’t recall a moment with his wife recently where he felt... happy, sincerely. Perhaps in the past, when he’d strum his guitar and skate around - free and without the exhaustion of judgment and micromanagement? He deserved better. There’s just no right timing, though, as he can’t find the motivation to work himself up and tell his wife they need a divorce for both of their own sakes.

And then his wife gave him the ultimatum: Her, or that stupid acrobat with the dog and his mother.

Well, well. Fine. He doesn’t need to pack much, and he doesn’t need to say anything. He’s rearing to go. The wife? Cocky. All until she realized quite quickly that he was serious, dead serious, and she begged and pleaded and smothered herself all over him trying to get him to obey her every whim just like before. That it was a joke, an act, a test to see where he would be really happy but she needed him and who else would indulge her needs and fluff up her ego with the beefcake of a man?

Too bad! He’s gone, but he’s also an incredible mess and it was incredibly short-notice and maybe he should’ve thought things out better, but he’s free. He’s never felt so relieved. It’s quite cold, dark, and alone, but everything seems so much more colorful and bright now but also he really should find a place to say and strangely, his immediate thought is to call up Manole -- but he’s asleep, isn’t he? Or working? He shouldn’t bother him, he should go to his mother. But...

He called. Decided that if he did not get an answer, he would let him know another time (never, really). And nobody picked up. So as he’s ready to drive out, he gets a call: It’s Manole. He picked up, and he heard the groggy-confused voice of an acrobat ringing out with the delightful barks of Ana in the background to give him the image that oh, she must have woken him up, and oh, he’s smiling. They chat for the night. As in. They meet up again, and the two take a quiet stroll out with Ana, and Istvan gets to vent, tell his story. (His little audience is quite expressive too, he noted. Loose red strings of disbelief and high-pitched barking. Dramatic flailing of arms, a growl.)

In the end, they have to rest. Manole and Ana depart (with Manole insisting that they continue their little interactions and that Istvan finally comes to one of his showings, he swore he’d make it worthwhile - Ana agreeing in her little pip), and Istvan is home. A home of memories. Bad, good, but a place that made him nevertheless and he supposed... he should probably go to that therapist Manole recommended. He gave his word that she was fine; she had helped him back then, too, when things were dire.

Solange was her name. And oh, she was understanding - the best, at least for his circumstances. He revealed his feelings, and she helped him through most of it - enough that he was in better shape than before. Enough that he can lift his head high even with his impressive stature. But - he did ask, out of polite curiosity. What was it that made her want to be a therapist?

And it was an easy answer, the way she’d told it. A deadbeat father, a single mother with a cat and her father - her own grandfather. She had been... rebellious, in a sense, and she was a menace to her family. They had financial issues, relationship issues, the works. It was only until they’d discovered the (grand)father dead that things really started to change. Viva la insurance money, they were able to handle most of the debt and loans. She felt more inclined to... help, seeing as how badly-shapen her mother was, mourning and all. And during that - she realized it was something she wanted to pursue wholeheartedly.

Overall, they’re happy. Istvan and Manole eventually get together (after a long amount of time, only when Istvan was ready to open himself up again - easier, when he’d started acting as accompaniment as (a tech) crew and occasional musical act in the streets and they realized how well they clicked). Ana thrives (with a few other secret nicknames that the others gave to her; well. She doesn’t mind.) Solange occasionally helped out in using her artistic skills with some of the advertisements.

They’re all comfortable. They’re living.

That is all.

SUMMARY:

・[Overall] The canon diverges with Istvan actually noticing and recognizing the missing dog poster Manole put up. Manole and Ana are reunited. Istvan eventually divorces his wife and gets therapy from Solange, and Istvan is later friends (or more than that, ah-heem) with Manole.

・[Manole] Acrobat for that dreamy circus, but with a dog.

・[Ana] Dog! Beloved! Living! Happy! SO Happy. Maybe gets to meet her old litter of siblings again.

・[Istvan] No more toxic wife that tries to control and restrain him with false affections and silly desires built on creating a dumb image! Musical fun time! Also lifts and flexes.

・[Solange] On good terms with mother now! Grandpa is deader than dead but it’s for the better, promise. Insurance money and her mother made her realize she’d wanted to be a therapist. Occasionally does art for Manole’s circus thing.

No I did not proofread this. I do not care. I have self love, and this is, in fact, indulgent.

#[ watched it a second time earlier ahehe ]#[ ''I bet there's an au about this!'' -> The fandom does not exist therefore no. The AU doesn't. ]#[ (hashes out a whole verse after the movie like clowns) :handshake: ]#mushrium

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candychronicles · 4 years

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deal // d. kaminari

A/N: My part in the soulmate au bnharem server collab!

CHARACTER PAIRING: Kaminari Denki x Reader

WORD COUNT: 2,187

WARNINGS: nothing that i can think of? just dumb, sweet fluff

SYNOPSIS: in a world full of heros and quirks, finding someone you can love is very, very hard. it’s even harder when you have a soulmate and the words that are tattooed on you are a nightmare. but still, even in this strange world, love finds a way.

TAGS: @jojosmilktea @redbeanteax

Want to be a part of my taglist? Message me!

Want to indulge in some more soulmate ideas? Head on over to the masterlist!

---

in a world full of heros and quirks, finding someone you can love is very, very hard. everyone has the first words your soulmate will ever say to you tattooed on your body. there is not one size, placing or font. it just slowly develops into a full fledged sentence, like a birthmark, as you got older and were able to read more.

some people were absolutely desperate to find their soulmate. they would introduce themselves to as many people as possible, trying out different phrasings constantly. there was a whole app created that was dedicated to sharing your tattoo and trying to meet up with people that matched it. most people, however, believed that soulmates should and would come naturally.

when you were 7, your tattoo was finally developed, and you craned your neck in an attempt to see what was written down your spine. it took you quite a while to figure out the words due to your limited reading abilities and more so the fact that it was hard to read in the mirror. when you finally figured it out, you were absolutely dumbfounded.

“aah! stop! i could’ve dropped my croissant!”

what in the peanut butter fudge does that mean?

you decided that at 7 years old, it didn’t matter to you. it wasn’t until you were twelve that it was even brought back up again. a popular six second video platform went viral and, along with that, came the understanding of where your tattoo came from. suddenly, it was very, very scary, knowing how commonplace your tattoo phrase was.

your heart was broken one too many times by not finding your soulmate, despite hearing those very words over and over again from so many people. you had memorized vine after vine, trying out different ones each time, slowly giving up hope as you approached your 21st birthday. while the platform was dead, the creations made on the app were a forever reminder that you were still, in fact, alone.

on one particularly dark and gloomy afternoon, with heavy, overcast clouds, a thin drizzle of cold rain and a calming yet eerie fog settling onto the street, you walked into your secret, hidden to many, coffee shop, or at least it felt like that for you. you tended to see the same familiar faces, knew all the employees and always tried new things, wanting to support a local business.

you were lost in your own thought when a young man, most likely around your age, bumped into you, balancing precariously a plate with treats and a hot coffee.

“aah! stop! i could’ve dropped my croissant!” he screeched, moving his food and drink away from you, not wanting to spill any, especially on the pretty girl he just bumped into.

without missing a beat, you replied with your own vine reference in the most monotone voice you could muster: “you know what, i’m about to say it. i don’t care than you broke your elbow.”

you were so accustomed to replying to that reference, your brain working before you could even think, randomly grasping at the first memorization that came to mind. it came as a complete shock when the random stranger dropped his food and drink on the floor, mouth wide with a grin, eyes alight with excitement.

you cocked your head quizzically, still not understanding what was going on. at that point in your life, you had given up on finding your soulmate, but it became quite apparent to you that he did not believe the same things or feel the same way.

the strange guy with electric yellow hair and a black streak happily rolled up his shirt sleeve to show you that what you said to him was on his body and, in that moment, everything finally clicked. you had to grab the nearest wall just to wrap your head around the situation. this guy is your soulmate?

with shaky hands, you pulled him to the back game room, apologizing to the workers for the mess as you whisked past him. once you were in the room, you shut the door, breathed once, twice, three times, and then slowly lifted the back of your shirt up to show him the tattoo.

the strange man, without thinking about it, slowly reached his fingers up to the back of your spine, slowly tracing the letters of the words in mesmiration. you, on the other hand, were as still as could be, too entranced by the way his soft fingers felt dancing along your backside. goosebumps rose on your skin and you knew that there was no way to deny or argue the automatic attraction that you felt towards him.

it felt like lightning bolts were shooting out of his fingers, giving you just enough jolt to stay awake, your heart pounding from adrenaline. everything felt so surreal but you could feel that this was the start of something, something truly life changing.

slowly, you lowered your shirt, pulling your back away from his exploring fingers and turned around, looking him in the eye.

“what’s your name?” you whispered out, not trusting your voice to speak any louder at the moment.

“Kaminari Denki, but please, call me Denki,” he answered without skipping a beat, eyes brimming with excitement.

“and what’s yours doll?”

“(l/n) (y/n) but you can just call me (y/n). after all, we’re probably going to be spending quite a lot of time together.”

“while your here, why don’t you sit down with me and we can chat? i just met you but i’m so love struck already. i need to know more about you.”

the two of you ended up spending hours in the shop, stuffing your faces full of pastries and sweet drinks, playing board games, asking each other questions, shamelessly flirting all night. it came as no surprise to either of you that you two would like each other, but to be so content telling a practical stranger your whole life story was still a bit overwhelming for you. you two exchanged numbers and on you went with the rest of your night, then the next day, and then the whole week.

it was practically killing you inside knowing that Denki had not called you yet. he mentioned he was a pro hero, so you knew he must be busy, but the thought of never being able to talk to him again drove you mad. little did you know, Denki was thinking the same things, wondering if he was good enough for you, if you really liked him, if you even wanted to see him again.

after all the moping around you did by yourself, you finally gained the courage to call, leaving a polite message in the voicemail box asking for him to call and discuss some things, hoping you could get some answers out of what was going on.

it only took twenty minutes before Denki’s name was flashing across your phone. you tried to play it cool, allow it to ring a couple of times, but eventually caved and answered, trying to not appear too excited or frazzled.

the conversation ended up lasting hours, with plans to meet up later that week. you two both chuckled when realizing you both felt the same way, not wanting to call if the other wasn’t interested.

the week went by quickly, the first official date arriving much sooner than you expected. Denki had told you nothing except to wear comfortable tennis shoes and athletic clothes. you assumed maybe a hike but you were not prepared for what he actually signed up for: rock climbing.

while heights weren’t your biggest fear, they certainly weren’t something you enjoyed, but you were going to push through and have fun. Kaminari brought out the best in you, fueling your adrenaline side a lot more than expected.

the whole experience was going great, Kaminari going up with you a couple of times to show you the ropes, both literally and physically, when he suggested you try one on your own. it was an indoor facility with plenty of padding, safety ropes and trained staff if any issues arose, but still, it was more terrifying than you were expecting.

you set a slow but steady pace, finally reaching the top, Kaminari cheering you from below. you looked down to give him a smile and a wave, realizing that was a bad idea only when you saw how far you had to jump back down. Kaminari saw it in your face and internally panicked, not sure how to help you in the situation, until he came up with an idea.

“just jump! i’ll catch you. i promise!” he yelled, arms outstretched and ready for your descent.

all it took was a few deep breaths before you let go, jumping down the wall, slipping halfway and fearing you would get injured. Kaminari, however, stayed true to his promise, catching you steadily in his arms, a cheeky, self-satisfied grin on his face.

“i’m picking the date next time,” you declared with a cheeky smile of your own, shimmying out of his grasp.

true to your word, your second official date was picked by yourself, something that was still interesting and adrenaline inducing at times without the fear of dropping from big heights: horseback riding.

you had assumed after the first date he took you to that this would be a nice reprieve from his daily adventures, which was true. what you didn’t assume, however, was the fact that Kaminari was mildly terrified of the giant creatures with hooves.

“oh come on! what are you afraid of?”

“getting kicked, getting bitten, stepped on, bucked off, the list is endless…”

“i won’t let anything happen to you. you caught me last time so i’ll make sure to have your back this time.”

as the day went on, you soon realized that you didn’t need to keep an eye on him. he was riding his horse very well, becoming in tune with his posture and seating, overall making the horse happier. he didn’t even want to leave after your trail ride was all over, you having to drag him back to the car as he stared out the window with puppy dog eyes.

when you made it back to your apartment, you turned towards him, ready to thank him for yet another lovely day, when you felt a pair of warm, eager lips attach themselves onto your own. you were dumbfounded for a minute, not understanding what was going on and therefore not responding. Denki almost took it as a sign that he was going too fast, preparing to pull away when your brain and body finally caught back up.

your lips moved in sync with his, wet tongues and teeth clashing. it wasn’t the prettiest kiss you ever had, but it was filled with such passion and longing that you didn’t know how you were able to pull away.

“wow…” Denki said breathlessly, hands coming up to cup your face and lean in for one more kiss.

“there’s plenty more where that came from,” you squeaked, trying to sound confident but coming out overly excited and slightly embarrassed.

Denki’s face suddenly turned very serious and he shifted in his seat to get a better look at you, you doing the same.

“(y/n), i know we’ve only been going on dates for a couple weeks, and i know there’s still so much more that i want to know about you, but i cannot, in good conscience, let you leave this car without me asking if you want to be my girlfriend. so uh, what do you think?”

your body responded immediately this time, your head bobbing up and down in confirmation, composing yourself for a second before you responded.

“Denki, we’re soulmates. i know it’s fucking scary, i know it may seem even weird, but i have never felt this way about anyone or even anything. i want to be your girlfriend as badly as i want you to be my boyfriend. so yes, boyfriend, i would love to go steady with you.”

before he could respond, you raised one finger in silence, commenting, “but, from now on, we pick the dates together.”

“deal! and uh, i know we’re in your driveway already, but there’s this really good noodle place down the road, and i’m starving. would you want to come with me? i’ll pay,” he admitted, scratching the back of his neck in embarrassment, a light flush on his face.“oh, well, if you’re paying, i guess i have no reason to say no, huh?” you joked back, laughing and sticking your tongue out at him.

you both giggled at that, completely isolated from the outside world. at that moment, it was just you and him. while the relationship was still fresh and new, it felt like you guys knew each other for years and yet knew nothing about each other. it didn’t matter, though, because you two knew that things would only get better from there, and you were both prepared for whatever came your way.

#denki kaminari #kaminari denki #kaminari x reader #denki x reader #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #boku no hero x reader

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i-write-newsies · 3 years

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(A/N): I decided to do some really simple and classic fluff after all the stuff in the last Oneshot. Hopefully, this one won't take me a literal MONTH. Hope y'all like it!! <33

AUs:

- Modern

- Coffee Shop

- College

Jack POV:

Jack is a hopeless romantic. A hidden one for the most part, but a hopeless romantic nonetheless.

Truth be told, he's never been in too many relationships, at least not ones that lasted long. He's liked a few girls before, boys too, and even dated a few. But they lasted 3 months, tops. His record for the quickest breakup was after 5 hours when the person found another person to dote on.

Despite bad experiences like that, Jack remains infatuated with love and the idea of soulmates. He listens to romantic songs on repeat, would always be ready to lend you a romcom, and daydreams about perfect dates with some fill-in-the-blank person when he's supposed to be studying Art History.

But lately, that blank template has been gaining more qualities of a certain boy from school. A certain boy with dark brown curly hair, with an adorable hooked nose, with olive-green eyes and a shy smile.

The moment his mind finally puts the pieces of the person together, he shoots up from laying down in his bed. He quickly pauses the music and struggles to unlock his phone out of a mix of confusion and excitement.

He scrolls through his contacts to the K section, clicking on Katherine's contact and pressing the facetime button. "Pick up, Kath..." he nervously mutters.

Suddenly, her face appears on the screen, "Hey, Jack! What's up?" she then notices the half vacant, half nervous expression his face is showing.

"You doin' okay?" Kath asks, brows furrowed.

"Huh? Yeah! I uhhhh..." Kath waits patiently, knowing his ADHD makes him lose his train of thought all too easily.

"Right! So, you're the only one who knows about me bein' kind of a hopeless romantic..." Jack looks down slightly, and Katherine giggles, knowing his embarrassment around loving love.

"What? Does big ole Jack Kelly have a crush?"

"I don't know!" he gives an exasperated sigh, "Maybe!"

"Okay, okay, calm down cowboy. Now which lucky person has caught your eye this time?" Jack mutters something incoherent below his breath. "What? I can't hear ya."

"Davey Jacobs."

Davey POV:

Davey sighs, taking a look at his computer.

A 2000 word essay on a topic of his choice for History due in 1 month. He knows how much time he has to finish this, and he knows that he could wait until a week until it's due to start it and still finish it on time perfectly, but no matter the assignment, there would always be a thought gnawing at the back of his brain telling him he NEEDS to get it done right now. And so he does. But he knows he needs coffee to do so.

Davey carefully slips his computer into his crammed backpack, as well as his wallet. He plans on going to his favorite cafe. The coffee there tastes like shit (though he would never admit it), but he knows the staff, and some of the baristas even attend his school. There was one that stood out to him, a certain Jack Kelly

Davey isn't sure what's so interesting about the creative student. It could be his heavy 'Hatten accent, or maybe it's his enthusiastic puppy dog energy about anything. It's kind of... adorable, I guess. He looks down at the ground while walking, trying his best to hide his red face. Davey doesn't swear much, but fuuuuuck.

He likes Jack Kelly. Jack Kelly of all people. The guy who accidentally SHARPENED HIS FINGER IN A PENCIL SHARPENER ONCE. Davey sighs, Jack may be an idiot, but no one can deny that it's charming in a way. He has tons of golden retriever energy.

Davey doesn't know what to do.

He sits down in a corner booth to avoid as much human contact as possible. He opens up his laptop and opens the tabs needed for his project. He slips on a pair of noise-cancelling headphones and attempts to block out the thoughts of Jack Kelly. The essay is number one priority right now. Suddenly, Davey sees a looming figure out of the corner of his eye. He snaps his neck up to see...

Oh no.

Fudge.

"What can I get for ya, darlin'"

Jack POV:

Davey's face heats up. I don't really consider this a win, considering that's the way most people react when I call them darling. What can I say? It's a habit of mine.

"U-uhm..maybe-" he stutters quietly.

I speak up to help him out a bit, "I've seen you here before. You always order the hot chocolate with 2 pumps of espresso, right?" He squeaks out a yes.

"Comin right up, doll" his face lights up a bright red again.

Shit. Did I mess it up? Is he uncomfortable with those terms? I come from southern roots, which has pros and cons. The pros are: I'm really resilient, my tea is sweetened to PERFECTION, and I can smell when it's going to rain. Cons: The situation that just unfolded.

As I enter the kitchen area, I sigh. I come on way too strong. I quickly make Davey's order, after all, I did memorize it. I look at the plain hot chocolate. Needs a little something. He seems like the spicy sweet kinda guy, so I carefully add a good amount of whipped cream, and sprinkle some cinnamon on top. I really shouldn't be bringing favoritism into my work, but Dave should be an exception.

Being careful not to spill my masterpiece built out of hot chocolate and whipped cream, I bring it to Davey, who seems very deep in thought, staring at his computer. Trying not to disturb him, I set the drink gently down, then I lift one of his headphones.

"Whatcha doin' Dave?"

He jumps, turning red once AGAIN. "Jesus Christ, bud, got some sorta skin reddening condition?"

"Wh- I- You-" He sputters before regaining his composure, "One, none of your business, two, none of your business."

I feign a wound and put my hand over my chest, "Davey Jacobs! So rude!" I put my arm over my forehead and sigh dramatically, then sneak a peek at him. He's laughing a little. I grin, so he doesn't hate me! Whew!

A few hours,10 drink orders and slightly too loud joking and laughing later, Davey's still here, working on some big project. At this point I've stopped charging him and have just been paying for them myself. I make my way to his table once more.

I notice his cup is empty, "Refill?" I ask, he nods. That's when I notice the bags under his red eyes. I walk back a bit and lean on his table. "You need to sleep, Dave." He shakes his head as a response and I sigh.

I make my way to the kitchen and decide to not add caffeine in this. He needs it. My hands go on autopilot as I start to think about him. He's just so... pretty.

I bite my lip. Should I...? Ah, fuck it, I'm almost done with my shift. I grab a scrap of paper and a pen and scrawl my number, with the message

'Call me ;P'

Beside it. I take a deep breath and carefully balance the cup all the way to Davey's corner booth. The sight is adorable. Davey is laying down on the table, asleep, head tilted to one side, face illuminated by the computer screen. I smile gently.

All I think about for the rest of the night is that sight. As I sit in bed, drawing the scene, I hear a ding from my phone. I open texts and see from an unknown number:

Hey, Jack?

It's Davey.

The student from the coffee shop.

I grin.

Hey Dave :P

I quickly change his contact to <3 Dave <3 with my recent drawing of him as the profile picture.

Before I know it, we're talking about everything. It's honestly so much easier texting than actually interacting with people. My brain decides to peace out for a long minute, and my hands automatically do the typing. Bad decision. Why? Because I barely even notice when I hit send.

Do you wanna go on a date with me? I was thinking about getting froyo, and maybe watching a cheesy romcom. Whaddya say, Dave?

I can only watch, petrified, as I see...

<3 Dave <3 is typing...

~Ω~Ω~Ω~Ω~Ω~Ω~Ω~Ω~Ω~Ω~Ω~Ω~Ω~

(A/N):

Hope y'all like this! Pt. 2 will be their date!! btw no one has really interacted or requested fanfics, so if you could vote for this or request something, that would really make me happy.

~ Race

#newsies fanfiction #fic #fic writer #newsies #javid #javey #jack kelly #davey jacobs #coffee shop au #classic #oneshot #newsies oneshots #requests #romance #fanfiction #newsies fic #fansies #livesies

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grailfinders · 3 years

Text

Fate and Phantasms #94: Astolfo

Happy 2021! To celebrate the new year, we’re giving y’all this one a day early. Our research team has shown that “with Astolfo” is the best way to celebrate any holiday.

Today on Fate and Phantasms we’re making everyone’s favorite nonbinary and Ereshkigal’s main squeeze, Astolfo; the knight of evaporated reason! They have a ton of Noble Phantasms accumulated from their adventures, so you’ll have plenty of fun stuff to do with this build.

Check out their build breakdown below the cut, or their character sheet over here!

Next up: Ooh child, things are gonna get easier.

Race and Background

Astolfo is a Human, despite their otherwise unexplained Monstrous Strength. This gives them +1 to all stats. They’re also a Knight of the Order, “the Order” being the Twelve Paladins of Charlemagne. This gives them Persuasion and History proficiency. Astolfo is a leader, and they’re literally a part of history (In FGO. Assume Orlando Furioso is an accurate history book at your own peril).

Ability Scores

Make Charisma your highest score; Astolfo is the heart of the party, and can inspire even other servants to greater acts of heroism than they accomplished in life. Second is your Strength; one of your personal skills is all about how strong you are, and you need to be able to haul a lance around for a couple levels before you get your mount. Third is Constitution- you took a trip to the moon, so you’re probably really good at holding your breath. After that is Dexterity- that’s not really heavy armor you’re wearing. Your Intelligence is a little low; you’re not really stupid, per se, but you don’t think your actions through that often. Finally, dump Wisdom. “Evaporated Sanity” does not a cleric make.

Class Levels

1. Paladin 1: Yes, we’re making the paladin a paladin. Look, later builds are going to make me figure out how to put a jetpack in someone’s butt in a medieval fantasy setting, let me have the obvious ones. This gives you proficiency in Wisdom and Charisma saves, as well as Insight and Athletics. Despite your evaporated sanity, you’re really good at reading people, and you can hang onto a hippogriff mid-flight.

You also have a Divine Sense, letting you sense celestials, fiends, and undead within 60′ of you as an action. You can also Lay on Hands as an action to heal a creature you touch, with a maximum of 5 times your paladin level HP to hand out per long rest. You can also spend 5 hit points from the feature to end a disease or poison effect.

2. Paladin 2: Second level paladins get a Fighting Style. Great Weapon Fighting will make your lance a little less unwieldy by letting you re-roll a one or two on damage when using a two-handed weapon. Technically this doesn’t work with lances, as they have the “special” property, not the “two-handed” property, but honestly your DM should have some pity on you, you’re using a weapon that comes with disadvantage on most of its attacks.

You also can use spell slots to create Divine Smites at this level, spending magical energy for more powerful attacks. Speaking of spell slots, you can also use those to cast Spells if you really want to, preparing and casting them using your Charisma score. Spells like Heroism turns one creature you target into basically you, gaining temporary hit points each turn and having immunity to being frightened. You can also use a Thunderous Smite for an early Trap of Argalia, knocking your target prone if they fail a strength saving throw with a DC of 8 plus your charisma modifier plus your proficiency bonus. They also get thrown a good 10′ away, which is a solid unhorsing if ever I saw one.

3. Paladin 3: At third level, you become the envy of Okitas everywhere with your Divine Health, making you immune to disease. You also take up a Sacred Oath, a promise you’ll uphold to your dying breath, which for you is every promise. That’s why you’re an Oath of Devotion paladin. When you take the class, you gain the oath spells Protection from Evil and Good and Sanctuary, protecting one creature from extraplanar enemies by imposing disadvantage or from any enemies by forcing a wisdom save respectively.

You also gain one use of Channel Divinity per short rest, which can be used in one of two ways. Sacred Weapon empowers your Lance, adding your charisma modifier to attack rolls and making the weapon magical for the duration of a minute. Turn the Unholy is similar to Turn Undead, though it works on fiends and undead, and only forces them to flee from you if they fail a wisdom save.

4. Paladin 4: Use your first Ability Score Improvement to round out your Strength and Dexterity for stronger attacks and less getting attacked.

5. Paladin 5: You get an Extra Attack per attack action, but also gain access to second level spells! Lesser Restoration can heal a target of various diseases or conditions like blinded, deafened, paralyzed or poisoned. You can also make a Zone of Truth to force others to tell the truth if they fail a charisma save. Other spells to look at include Magic Weapon so you don’t have to use your Channel Divinity to pierce through enemy defenses and Warding Bond for dramatic heroic sacrifices.

6. Paladin 6: At sixth level you recover the first pages of the Luna Break Manual with Astolfo’s Aura of Protection. Any ally (including themself) within 10′ of them can add your Charisma modifier to any save they make. Suddenly your wisdom saves aren’t nearly as bad as they were before.

7. Paladin 7: The pages keep coming with your Aura of Devotion, making yourself and any allies within 10′ of you immune to being charmed. Look at your bard, now back to me. Now back to your bard, now back to me. Sadly, their countercharm isn’t this, but if they stopped being a bard and took seven levels in paladin they could block charms like this.

8. Paladin 8: Use this ASI to bump up your Charisma for more powerful protections and stronger spells.

9. Paladin 9: Ninth level paladins get third level spells, like your oath spells, Beacon of Hope and Dispel Magic. The former will make your and your allies’ wisdom saves even stronger, and boosts your death saves and healing as well for up to a minute. The latter is yet another addition to your Luna Break Manual, breaking down any spells you come across, not just charms on you and your friends. You can also pick up Remove Curse for yet another way to destroy magical effects on your party.

10. Paladin 10: At tenth level, your Aura of Courage shuts down any frightening effects used on allies within 10′ of you. You’re basically a nightmare to any status-effect dependent creatures now.

11. Paladin 11: Your Improved Divine Smite adds a bit of radiant damage to all your attacks, for an even shinier weapon.

12. Paladin 12: Use this ASI to get the Mounted Combatant Feat, and use Martial Versatility to swap your fighting style to Dueling. These are secret tools that will help us later. The feat gives you advantage on attacks against unmounted creatures smaller than your mount, and you can redirect attacks at your mount to you instead. Your mount also gets its own evasion for extra survivability. Dueling adds 2 to a melee weapon’s damage if you’re using it one-handed, and thankfully it works with a mounted lance without having to fudge anything.

13. Paladin 13: Thirteenth level paladins get fourth level spells, like your oath spells Freedom of Movement and Guardian of Faith. Astolfo has kind of a Roger Rabbit-esque relationship with shackles, and calling on a friend never hurt. Well, it will hurt the people it attacks, just not you. More importantly, you can Find Greater Steeds, like a Griffon! The summoned creatures is a celestial, fey, or fiend, and it has an enhanced intelligence so it can understand you. You can communicate telepathically with them while you’re within a mile, and you can target yourself and your mount with a single spell. The creature disappears when it hits 0 HP, but you can re-summon it by casting the spell again.

We know it’s not a Hippogriff, but those are much weaker in D&D. Trust me, you do not want a flying mount with only 19 HP, especially since we’re not getting feather fall for another level.

14. Bard 1: We’ve got two of your Noble Phantasms, but we need to make a class change to pick up your third. Multiclassing into bard nets you performance proficiency, which will be handy when you’re actually playing La Black Luna. You also gain another set of Spells that use your Charisma to cast-check the multiclassing table to figure out how many spell slots you have at each level. You also get Bardic Inspiration, d6s you can hand out to other party members to aid them in saves, checks, and attack rolls. You get a number of these dice per long rest equal to your charisma modifier, and you can hand them out one at a time as a bonus action.

For your spells, pick up Friends and Vicious Mockery as your cantrips. Astolfo’s easy to get along with, but they’re also incredibly good at telling you exactly what you don’t want people to talk about. Also, pick up Animal Friendship and Speak with Animals for more Griffon fun, Earth Tremor for yet another way to knock people on their ass, and Feather Fall for when your mount is inevitably shot out from under you 1000′ in the air. Is it an ability Astolfo has? No. Is it something you should absolutely pick up before getting on a griffon anyway? Absolutely.

15. Bard 2: Second level bards are Jacks of All Trades, adding half your proficiency bonus to all checks you’re not proficient in. This works on skills, but also things like initiative rolls, lucky you. You also get a Song of Rest, adding 1d6 to healing done over short rests, and Magical Inspiration. Your allies can now add your inspiration to magical damage and healing as well! Astolfo has many talents, they probably have something to help with healing on them somewhere.

Speaking of healing, pick up Healing Word for another way to use your bonus action. Knocking people on their ass is funny, but not everything can be solved with thunderous smites. Probably.

16. Bard 3: Sixteenth level might seem a bit late to graduate from college, but life doesn’t have a set pace; go at whatever speed you’re comfortable with. Graduating from the College of Valor lets you turn your Bardic Inspiration into Combat Inspiration; inspired allies can now add your inspiration to damage rolls as well as their AC against a single attack. You also get a round of Expertise, doubling your proficiency in Insight and Persuasion. We’re not improving your wisdom, but you’re really good at reading a room. This is the compromise.

To help social situations even more, pick up Calm Emotions. You’re pretty good at defusing a situation, even if that means you’ll be getting yelled at from both sides of the argument.

17. Bard 4: Your final ASI makes you a Fighting Initiate, so you can pick up one more fighting style. The Superior Technique style nets you a Battle Master Maneuver that you can use once per short rest, adding 1d6 to your damage roll when you make a Tripping Attack. The target also has to make a strength save against a DC of 8 plus your proficiency plus your strength modifier or fall prone. A little extra tripping power isn’t a bad idea, especially if you’re trying to keep a different concentration spell up at the time.

You also get Prestidigitation for general magical effects (you’ve gotta have more trinkets to show off, right?) and Enhance Ability for your Monstrous Strength. As well as monstrous dexterity, monstrous constitution... the spell gives your target advantage on one kind of ability check, is what we’re trying to say.

18. Bard 5: Fifth level bards see their Bardic Inspiration enhanced to d8s, and you become a Font of Inspiration, so your inspiration refills on short rests instead of long ones.

You also get a third level spell, so we can finally toot La Black Luna with the help of the Fear spell. Each creature in a 30′ cone must make a wisdom save or drop what its holding and become frightened. They have to dash away from you for the duration of the spell, which lasts up to a minute or until they make another wisdom save after losing sight of you, you lose concentration, or a minute passes.

19. Paladin 14: Fourteenth level paladins can spend an action to use their Cleansing Touch, ending a spell effect on a willing creature within touch range a number of times per long rest equal to your charisma modifier. You pretty much no-sell most status effects by now, this is just the icing on the cake.

20. Paladin 15: Your capstone ability weaponizes your Purity of Spirit as your final addition to the Luna Break Manual, giving you the effect of Protection from Evil and Good permanently. This means aberrations, celestials, elementals, fey, fiends, and undead have disadvantage to attack you, and you can’t be charmed, frightened, or possessed by them. You already had most of those effects blocked off, but the extra insurance is appreciated.

Pros

Your high charisma and skill proficiencies plus your immunity to common socializing status effects makes you an excellent party face, especially in high-magic settings where you can expect nobles to charm you into following their lead. Astolfo don’t care.

Getting knocked prone is annoying. It wastes half your movement, and gives melee attackers advantage on hitting you. And you’re really good at knocking people prone. Trip them, smite them, or rip apart the ground under their feet. Effective and hilarious.

Being a bard is great, but sometimes you have to go off on your own for solo adventures, which renders your inspiration useless. Always having your mount by your side means your inspiration always has a target, which can make you an even more terrifying duo than you already were.

Cons

Going by the book, mounted combat is a little unwieldy, and also becomes an issue in tight spaces where your griffon can’t enter or fly around.

You have great saves thanks to your auras, but that doesn’t change the fact that you have really low wisdom. Good luck perceiving anything.

This is more a complaint than a weakness, but I’m a bit mad that they made Hippogriffs so much weaker than Griffons. I wouldn’t think adding horses would make them that much weaker, but here we are.

#Fate Grand Order #fgo #Astolfo #D&D 5e #Fate and Phantasms

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nonbinaryventing · 3 years

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TW ED. Venting with my journal entries. #1 09/16/2021

It's the same cycle daily. Wake up. Stay in bed for another hour or two just scrolling through different apps on my phone attempting to escape reality. And now we’re caught up to me now. Debating whether or not to go eat breakfast, it would be easier just to skip.

500 calories a day, 800 max

Go over the amount workout to burn it off

Can still workout even if I don’t go over the amount, less calories the better

I’ll get something to eat I guess, even though I really don’t want too and I know i'll just end up regretting it as I always do. I head to the kitchen and search around for something to eat that won’t kill my calorie intake, but also won’t get my parents wondering. I grab 2 eggs and make them over-easy. Salt and Pepper. Water. (140)

After I eat I head to the bathroom, remove what would have been my water weight, and step on the scale. I watch as the numbers go up and up. 103.6. Not bad, it went down again thankfully. At this rate, I can get down to 95 in no time. I proceed to log what I ate and my weight into the weight-loss app. I have my goal set to 100 on it but don’t worry, that’ll go down as soon as i hit it.

I’m two days into my workout routine, I’m nonbinary and I want more of a masculine figure. It just sucks that I’ll probably need a high calorie intake to make myself actually look more masculine and get the build that I want, but I can’t do that so we’ll just make do with what we have.

My workout routine as of now:

Stretch Briefly

Push-ups, as many as I can. I did 20 last night, 2 reps of 10. (Decreases chest fat, increases chest muscles)

Bicep curls, this one was a bitch to get through. 20 on each arm, then work up my goal. 5-10 reps on each arm, sets of 10. (Increase bicep/arm muscles)

Armpit row. I believe I did 15 reps and 5 sets. These were difficult. (Arm strength increases, it focuses on deltoids/trap and back muscles)

Standing dumbbell press. I think I did 10 reps and 5 sets of these. (Chest, shoulder, and back muscles) (should be able to see collarbones more the longer i do this for)

Scissor kicks. Oh my god these were difficult, especially since my scoliosis had my spine stabbing into the exercise mat underneath me, and god it felt like I was going to collapse. 4 sets and reps of 25. (Lower abs and leg muscles) (after a month my leg muscles should be more defined)

Air cycling. Wasn’t too too hard, a little painful. I did this for a total of 6-7 minutes, or the duration of 2 songs. (Abs and leg muscles)

Wide arcs. It burned a little bit, but wasn’t too hard. I believe I either did 2 or 3 sets of 10 reps. One rep for me is going to each side once. (Abs and Legs)

Hip Raises. HOLY FUCK this one hurt so so much. I didn’t expect it to hurt that much, but once I hit 30 I just lied on the floor about to cry, lol. I should do 30-50 reps on each leg. (Butt and Leg Muscles) (should lose an inch of hip fat)

And that's basically it. It took me about an hour and a half, but I know it’ll get easier over time. I’m not sure how many calories I burned, I’m going to try to figure that out now.

Pushups: about 2-3 minutes (-9 calories)

Bicep Curls: I think about 20-30 minutes, Ill time it all tonight. (-130 calories)

Armpit Row: Think 10 minutes (-21 calories)

Standing Dumbbell Press: 15 minutes (-78)

Scissor Kicks: 4 minutes (-23)

Air Cycling: 6 minutes (-30)

Wide Arcs: 2 minutes (-12)

Hip Raises: 3 minutes (-20)

Total burned: 323

Yesterday I ate a total of 750 calories, which is too much. I feel a bit better knowing that it’s now down to 427. Under 500 calories. I did good, right?

********************************************************************************************************

It’s now nighttime, I apologize for not writing for the day. I skipped lunch, but ended up regressing and making up for those calories with sweets. What do I mean by regressing you may ask? Well I’m talking about age regression, basically where I mentally regress back to a younger- more innocent state of mind, usually ranging between 2 and 5/6 years of age. I had been numb for most of today and it was the only thing that could get me out of that- well besides creating line in my arms or thighs till the blood reminds me I’m alive, and the cut can help me realize that I can feel pain instead of well- nothing at all? But anyways, when I regress it can be voluntary or involuntary, and it's mostly involuntary for more, and when it happens I lose more control of myself and tend to eat when I really don’t want too even though im so hungry, please let me eat, please

I ended up eating one brookie/brownie cookie thing (150) and one chocolate fudge cookie thing (65) it was surprisingly l̶o̶w̶ less calories than I thought it would be.

We had burgers for dinner, luckily I had a veggie burger (124) which was less than a normal meat burger. In total with all the condiments and stuff, it was quite a disappointing number (333).

After dinner, I went out to go longboarding to burn some of the calories at least for 15 minutes before it got dark (-65). I got some cool pictures at least.

I finished up some schoolwork when I got home, had a snack(which was a mistake) popcorn (93/ my dad gave me too big of a portion) and a soda for the caffeine for later (150), then worked out. Also, hey I was right! It went a lot faster this time and I actually got it done in 40 minutes. It wasn’t as many calories burned as last time though unfortunately (-241)

I put all the numbers together and honestly it wasn’t great. Without the working out and longboarding, it was 9̶3̶1̶ and then I burned 306 calories in total. So I’m still left at 625 which is over 500 but not over 800, and that's okay I guess. Anyways I’m going to read a book for the night now, check in again tomorrow!

************************************************************************

#eating disorder #eating disorder tw #tw ed stuff #tw vent #anorexia #low calorie #vent #eating disorder vent #selfharmmention #tw #trigger warning #gettingitout

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kwantified · 4 years

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waffles - zhong chenle

genre: highschool!chenji, fluff word count: 2.6k synopsis: a snitched secret leaves you feeling guilty, but there’s always chenle (and food). lowercase intended.

disclaimer! mild swearing (as teens do) and apologies in advance if it’s cringey. i’m new to this!

"fuck chaeri, they're going to kill me!"

"she needs to know! someone likes her!"

"but you don't know the name, though? what's the point?" at this moment, you realise it would've been better to have never told chaeri anything at all. damn it. who knew the same person who was able to keep all of your crushes since the seventh grade was now willingly announcing someone's feelings to the one person they shouldn't be announced to - at least, not yet.

"that's exactly the point. it's even more exciting to guess!" chaeri continues, "also, it's about time she gets a love life. i'm pretty sure ballet gets tiring sometimes."

you pull her shoulder, hoping to hold her back. your effort ignored, she instead approaches your friend, hong mijung, sitting on the leftmost seat in classroom 1-C. you watch in defeat as chaeri's lanky figure sways her way to the girl on the other side of the room. she tells mijung in squeals, a mix of excitement and shock. you could practically see mijung's heart drop after hearing her words.

mijung stands up, following chaeri to the hallway. her face is flushed bright red and her mouth moves fast. chaeri only reassures the shorter girl, trying to calm her down from the flustering news. it's an amusing sight; seeing mijung jump out of her calm, relaxed demeanour.

thankfully, you'd managed to stop yourself from spilling any names, and if mijung's already skipping beats at the idea of someone crushing on her, you can only imagine her usual ballerina bun undoing itself once she found out the hip-hop dancer from the studio upstairs had feelings for her.

feeling bouts of guilt and relief, you decide to head to your locker. exams are finally over; that means emptying your backpack of multiple textbooks and freeing you of weighted hell - even if that meant you would lose your only means of exercise.

"boo." you jump at the familiar voice behind you.

"halloween's so last season, zhong chenle," you turn around and get an eye-roll in response.

chenle cocks his head at the two girls heading downstairs, "what's going on with mijung?"

"why do you want to know?"

"because she doesn't usually do..." he trails off into silence. you begin to hear mijung's voice echo from two stories below, and chenle snaps his fingers, "...that."

"point taken," you try to find something in your locker to fiddle with, wanting to dismiss the conversation.

he folds his arms, leaning on the lockers in front of you. "anyways, what happened?"

you feel his gentle eyes waiting on your answer, and that's when you realise it's too late to scram.

"would you be mad if someone leaked your feelings for someone without your permission to the person you have feelings for?"

chenle thinks for a moment, "yeah."

"...don't tell me you did that," you can hear his cheery tone drop.

"to my defence, i didn't tell it was jisung," you pause, "i told chaeri, and chaeri only, that someone likes mijung." you began.

"should i tell jisung? mijung has class after this and i don't want her getting all giddy talking about crushes in front of him."

chenle tilts his head in thought, "yeah. just give him a warning. and an apology, because, you know, duh."

"fuck, i'm sorry." you sigh as you text jisung, letting a string of curses follow throughout.

"i feel like he likes her. like, like likes her. a lot." chenle nods, moving to face your back. he places his chin on your shoulder as the two of you watch jisung react with a sequence of 'oh my god's, 'shit's, and numerous variations of a keyboard smash.

chenle's hands go to your arms, rubbing it in an attempt to soothe you. "what's done is done."

still, you feel nervous. like, a queasy-weird nervous feeling from your gut or somewhere around there. somehow, it's familiar.

"yeah, i know, but-"

"have you tried the new café downtown?"

fuck. looks like the feeling isn't going away today.

"is 'not enough pocket money' a valid excuse or does that phrase just not make sense in your head?" you say sarcastically, turning your head to find him weirdly sweet-smelling. he chuckles in response, and you feel him beaming his usual ear-to-ear smile.

"i'll pay." he says nonchalantly, lifting his head from your shoulder, "plus, i don't want you to sulk over one thing you did for the next week."

"you can't buy me happiness," you retaliate, almost as if guarding your shame.

"hey, science says chocolate releases dopamine. makes you happy." he puts his arm around your shoulders. at this point, it's hard to tell whether he actually wants to get closer to you or if your shoulders are just the perfect height for an armrest. you wouldn't be surprised if it was the latter, but you're never sure about the former.

still, it feels nice.

it turns out the "café" chenle referred to was more of a "waffle and coffee stand" downtown, its tables and seats taken by groups of content faces already. chenle insists the two of you line up anyways, your and chenle's eyes targeting a certain chocolate waffle. you could practically feel the warmth radiating off of the food, and your mouth waters at the thought of fudge filling your tastebuds as an abundance of sweet and bitter scents fill your nostrils.

you see him huff cold air as he speaks, his nose turning a light shade of pink. his cheeks follow, and it's only when his eyes meet with yours that you realised two things: your face is also tinted pink, and you've been staring. panicked, you swiftly avert your eyes. you had expected an obnoxious laugh or a direct jab from his part, but to your surprise, he only smiles.

randomly, you blurt, "have you ever thought of bleaching your eyebrows?"

he laughs, and then says, "only during exam season. you know, i think it would fit on you - actually you’d look good in anything." he shrugs, earning him a confused look from you.

the worker inside the stand shouts the number on your receipt, and it takes a while for the two of you to recover from the first bites you take. it was like medicine, and the side effects were: jumping, letting out less than appropriate sounds, and annoying others around you. in other words, the waffles were stupidly good. and you watched chenle space out like he's never eaten food before.

and he gave you the stupidest smile and the stupidest laugh and did the stupidest thing: he cupped your cheeks and looked straight into your eyes and made you believe this might be about more than waffles - thankfully, he'd swallowed his bite and you laughed it off.

he calmed down a bit after that, but you still can't fathom his warm hands on your face. it just made you want to reach into your stomach with a giant net and catch all the little butterflies.

"i'll walk you home," he says, out of the blue. you knew his house was located around the block, but you didn't want to point it out. besides, he's walked you home before, and he knows his way around town by now.

"okay." you smile.

"i kind of want to get back on stage again."

"really?"

"yeah. i miss the thrill of it all, you know? just having so many peoples' eyes on me, and i honestly just love to hear everyone cheer or cry or react," he continues as the two of you wait before the crossing, "i think the most powerful thing about performing is just knowing that you're making someone feel something, whoever it is. i just- i don't know."

"no, i get it. i don't really perform at all, but i've seen how happy you get on stage."

you remember that one class trip after midterms, in the talent show. chenle and jisung signed up to perform a parody of soulja boy's "pretty boy swag" as a joke, and as stupid as the lyrics were, the crowd absolutely loved it.

you also remember surfing the internet to find videos of him singing all throughout his childhood, spamming him with links of the videos in a group chat with him. though you made fun of him, you were sure of one thing; he had a talent for it.

the light turns green, and the two of you bathe in seoul's city noises once more, different aromas of street food and soju lighting up several sections of the block.

"Y/N," he calls.

"yeah?"

"i feel like i've known you for a while," he says suddenly.

you suck in the cold air as the two of you brisk walk; you barely have any time to process what he's just said. quickly, you respond, "yeah, me too."

he catches your reaction and says again, "it's like i was meant to know you, y'know? something about you just makes me feel like i've spent lifetimes with you."

he waits for your response, but there's none. you don't know what to say. 'something about you.' something about me? what is there about me?

"how- how do you know?" it's normal for him to speak so straightforwardly, but today feels different. you can't quite put a finger on it.

"this is weird, but your voice is familiar... and comforting, now that i think about it."

how does he say that so casually?

just as you're still trying to understand his words to you, chenle gradually intertwines his hand with yours.

at first, it's okay, and you feel like the butterflies have multiplied by the hundreds. but slowly, questions start to infiltrate your mind, and you have no choice but to pull him over to talk. fortunately, you're close to your house, and where you live, the streets are much quieter than his.

you stop abruptly, turning his calm face confused.

"zhong. chenle."

"that's my name?"

"yeah," you nod, "care to explain?"

he leans in closer to you (which made two seconds seem like two years), asking for you to repeat it again. you take a deep breath.

"why do you do anything? like- with me?" all you see is a confused look.

"because i-"

"you're so casual about everything and i don't know how to feel about it because one day we're project group partners that never talk and the next you walk me the long way home!"

you start to look him up and down as you speak, your pupils going in a zig-zag pattern across the boy. you're frantic and spewing words you don't even remember wanting to say, but you're focused on him, and only him. not the sunset that's tinting his violet hair blue; not the neighbouring house gates that make him look taller than he actually his; not even the puddle he's so close to standing on it's a hair strand away from staining his jordans.

you know him, and only him and how much his hair's grown it's covering his eyes; him and how his blazer, when pulled to his elbows, makes him look a bit like a k-pop idol; him and his red, unpierced ears, which colours' still show through his hair.

"and you buy me all these treats and put your fucking arms around me and basically back hug me so many times and act like it's no big deal that i'm getting confused whether or not you want me close or if i'm just a convenient armrest?"

you genuinely feel yourself getting lightheaded. am i going crazy?

"wait, but i thought you liked that because i saw jisung do it-"

"it's different! jisung's a friend - more like a brother - and yeah, of course i like it, but with you it's different! it's like- it feels some way, like- it's just-" you trip up on your words and give up.

"i- have feelings for you." you slow down your pace.

you look up at him and realise his eyes saw you first. he smiles, again, and it's only then that you get the urge to hold his hand or snuggle into the crook of his neck.

luckily, zhong chenle's a mind reader, and he goes on to wrap his arms around you, letting your head rest on the crook of his neck as you mumble, over and over again the words i like you like you're getting used to its vowels sounding out of your throat. it's some type of warmth you don't think you'll ever get with five layers of padded jackets or stupidly good waffles - and it smells like sandalwood.

"you don't have to return my feelings, just- know that i feel this way."

"i thought it was obvious?"

you pull away from the embrace, "what was obvious?"

"i've liked you since after that trip. you know, when i injured my ankle after the talent show," he shrugs, "you just came to the nurse's area, where i was, and you just- stayed there to be with me the entire night. and from then you just always approached me and, i don't know, treated me like a person instead of a walking bank."

"and i guess it didn't seem so obvious for you because we only really got close because of jisung, who you've known for forever. but i did go out of my way a few times, though."

"wait, when?"

"for starters, i walked you home a lot, bought you lunch a few times, paid for the cake on your birthday-"

"that was you?"

he scoffs.

"oh, i see." you hit him playfully, "that's why chaeri wasn't complaining about her wallet."

"but honestly," you began, "i think i've always thought you were a great, funny guy even before the trip. i remember you on the first day of school, basically shouting through the halls with your other friends from the second and third years. and i just remember, the first time hearing you talk and thinking: you're so damn confident. and when you got hurt and nobody really came to see you, i was just like, shit - nobody's going to check on him other than jisung?"

you continue as the two of you are nearing your house, pouring out the unspoken after months and months of bottling it up.

suddenly, chenle's phone rings. it's jisung calling.

"jisung-ah! call me later-"

unable to hear jisung, you read the call through chenle's face.

"wait... HOLY SHIT SERIOUSLY?"

"DUDE-" he looks down, unintentionally meeting your eyes. his tone softens, "dude, tell me later tonight, kay? i'm... in public right now."

you raise an eyebrow at him.

"well, i'm with Y/N."

then jisung speaks again, and chenle replies with a "yeah."

"oh- okay," he puts the call on speaker. the second he does that, the first thing you hear from jisung is "Y/N! GOD BLESS YOU."

"wait- why?"

"MIJUNG JUST ASKED ME OUT!"

you look to chenle, "i-is he kidding?"

"NO I'M NOT! I ALREADY PINCHED MYSELF THRICE- THIS IS INSANE!"

chenle laughs, "when and where?"

"movies and dinner... i'm never getting over this."

"wait so... does that mean you're not mad at me anymore?"

"well, you were kind of a snitch but i guess that ended well, so... no."

"i won't snitch next time, i promise. unless-"

"Y/N, there won't be a next time! there's no way i'm gonna stop liking mijung."

"proud of you bud. call us later, yeah? we're getting on the bus right now." chenle says nonchalantly, ending the call just like that.

"why did you lie?"

he grins and takes your hand in his, "why do you think?"

"oh, shut up," you laugh, reaching up to peck his cheek goodbye.

he looks at you, shocked, making you two simultaneously burst into laughter together.

“ya! your breath smells like waffles!”

#nct #nct dream #chenle #zhong chenle #park jisung #waffles #fluff #nct dream fluff #kpop imagines #kpop #fanfic #imagine #au #high school

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ourloveisforthelovely · 4 years

Text

To the Ends of the Earth 17

A/n: Supernatural AU. OOC Gabriel

Link to Chapter 16

Pairings: Gabriel x Reader

_______

Gabriel did not let go of you for a good five minutes. You were not about to argue about it either. This had been the first bit of physical affection that the two of you had shared is some time.

After a few moments longer, Gabriel finally let go of you. He glanced over his shoulder at Amelia, who was not even looking up. The kid was too busy building her mud pies or whatever she was doing. Gabriel smirked. The kid reminded him too much of you as a child. Sometimes it was like looking in a gigantic mirror!

“Hey kid, why don’t you go inside and clean up?”

Gabriel said with a smile. Amelia nodded before standing up and dusting off her dirty pants.

“Okay, I am really dirty anyway. My daddy is going to have a cow.”

Gabriel partly wished that he could see Sam’s face when the kid walked in with mud and dirt all over her.

The amused feeling vanished as Gabriel remembered what he had to talk to you about. This wasn’t going to be a good conversation in the slightest.

“Y/n, I need to talk to you about something.”

Your happy smile quickly vanished and was replaced by that serious expression that Gabriel wished that he never had to see. He liked making you smile. This look was the furthest thing from a smile imaginable.

“Gabriel, I don’t like conversations that start like this.”

You said. It was the truth too. It seemed like every time Gabriel talked to you with this particular tone something was going straight to hell in a giant dumpster fire.

Gabriel looked at you sympathetically.

“Sugar, I was talking with Dean. We both had thought that it would be a good idea for me to keep an eye on Raphael. It seems like he is taking up making some friends around here. When I say friends, I mean other angels that have been on earth for a long time. I’m going to be gone for a few weeks...I don’t want….”

“You’ve got to be kidding me!”

You snapped. Gabriel sighed. He didn’t say anything for a moment. In fact, you didn’t give him a chance to get a word out. Gabriel only looked at you with that annoyed expression that he seemed to be wearing a lot more lately.

“Where was I in this conversation? Why am I never considered? I’m supposed to be your wife and I am always left out in the cold on these decisions! It's like you are just fine talking to my brothers and Cas more than me. Would you just prefer it if you kept me locked at home all barefoot and pregnant or something? I’m not some 1950’s housewife that is just going to sit around and wait for you to come home! This is insane Gabriel! Every time you go anywhere near your psycho brothers you come back not in the condition that you left in! You are just getting your grace back to 100% and now you are going back after them...this is insane!”

Gabriel gave you an innocent shrug.

“First off, barefoot and pregnant? Who the hell says that? Second, gross. You know I want nothing to do with children. Amelia is fine. She isn’t ours! We can play with her then send her back to Sam when we get sick of her. Third, I don't want you to be a stereotypical housewife. I like you the way you are. It's what I love the most about you...even though you can be difficult. Now that my grace is back, it would be the best time. Nothing is going to happen this time, Y/n.”

You shook your head wanting to sit down and hold your head in your hands.

“Then let me go with you. You know that I can hold my own in a fight.”

Gabriel shook his head.

“Not happening. I won’t be able to keep my thoughts where they will need to be. I will be worrying about you the whole time. That is how people get killed.”

You muttered something about being a big girl and not needing to be watched over all the time.

“Yes, you do and you are not going. That’s my final word.”

Gabriel said, taking on his “archangel” tone. You looked at him coldly before turning and storming back toward the bunker’s entrance. In a few hours, you would regret not kissing him goodbye or saying “I love you” at the moment, however, you wanted to kick the archangel in the shins.

“I think that I am going to form my own country and declare war on you and Dean!”

“Y/n…”

Gabriel started but stopped when you held your hand up.

“You aren’t going to listen to me anyway. I am just wasting my breath. Be ready to get a declaration of war notice...hope you and your new best friend forever Dean are up to it.”

You stormed into the bunker without another word.

Storming into the kitchen, you froze seeing Amelia looking at a gooey pancake that Sam put in front of her.

“Daddy this is gross.”

Sam looked up with a sigh and immediately knew what was wrong.

“Hold that thought, sweetheart.”

Sam said, petting Amelia’s head and turning to face you.

“I see Gabriel talked to you.”

Your eyes flickered in your older brother’s direction. Sam’s face was wary as he gave you a sympathetic expression.

“I see you knew about it too. I’m declaring war on you also.”

You snapped. Sam frowned.

“I said that he was wrong to handle this the way that he is.”

You stopped dead in your tracks and was silent for a moment. Sam was on your side. Good old Sam! You could help but be thankful for him at the moment. It was always Sam that stuck up for you when Dean treated you like a kid. Sam wanted to make sure that you had equal say in whatever the situation was.

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

You said softly. Sam shook his head.

“You don’t have to apologize. I know that you get sick of being treated like a little kid.”

You nodded, coldly. That was an understatement! You were beyond sick of being treated like a child. This was the perfect opportunity to throw your feelings up in Gabriel’s face. He hated when his older brothers treated him like that kid in the family now here he was doing the same thing to you!

“I really do. Sam, do you think that I am a capable hunter?”

Sam nodded, looking over his shoulder making sure that Amelia was busy with her coloring and not paying attention to the conversation at hand.

“You know I do.”

You stepped forward and wrapped your arms around Sam’s waist. He didn’t wait before wrapping his arms around you.

“Y/n, I know that you can handle almost anything that comes your way. I also know that Gabriel and Dean are trying in some annoying way to protect you too. It doesn’t mean that you should be sidelined to the kids table though.”

“All Gabriel and Dean want me to do is sit around here and play den mother. Normally I don’t mind but today I am extra pissy!”

Sam chuckled.

“Want me to take you out for ice cream?”

You stubbornly nodded. Sam smiled before turning back to Amelia who was looking up at ice cream.

“I wanna come.”

She said with a pouty expression that mirrored her father’s. You smiled at your niece before motioning her forward.

“Well, come on, sweetheart.”

Half an hour later, you sat nibbling on what was left of your ice cream cone. Amelia was halfway through a very messy hot fudge cake. You smirked as Sam sat the napkin that he was holding down in clear defeat of keeping Amelia’s white shirt clean.

“She eats like Dean.”

You said with a smile. Sam shook his head with a loud sigh.

“She is a lot like her world's okayest uncle.”

Glancing around the restaurant, you couldn’t help but notice several sets of eyes starring in your direction. You tried to keep the obviousness of the situation under control as you gazed at the multiple being looking in your direction.

“Angles.”

You muttered. Sam looked up.

“What?”

You looked around the room again discreetly before focusing your attention on your older brother.

“There are a shit ton of angels here. 1 guess as to who they are after.”

Sam didn’t even have to respond. He knew. It was you. Michael and Raphael had made it clear to any angel that you were hit number 1.

“Do you have your angel blade?”

Sam whispered. You nodded, not even having to feel for the weapon at your side. Glancing down to Amelia, you muttered fuck. This was going to be a hell of a way from your niece to figure out that angels were real and weren’t always the good guys.

“Make sure that she doesn’t peek.”

Sam nodded before leaning down and whispering something into his daughter’s ear. His eyes rolled back to yours.

“I’ve got your back.”

You nodded before stepping out of the booth. Pretending to be unaware of the danger at hand, you walked to the restaurant door. You stopped and looked out into the pleasant Kansas sunny afternoon. After taking a few deep breaths, you returned to the counter where the owner stood counting money.

“Can I get you something?”

He asked, casually. You nodded.

“A glass of water, please.”

As he went to the soda machine to fill up the cup in hand you slowly felt for the revolver in the back of your jeans.Angel killing bullets...check

“So do you have insurance on this place?”

You asked. The owner shook his head.

“Nah, nothing ever happens here.”

“Too bad.”

You muttered before taking a sip of your water. After a few more moments of silence, you turned to the angels casually sitting about the place.

“Hello, you bunch of holy fuckers. I am Y/n Winchester and I am here to deport you right back to heaven where you belong.”

As soon as the words left your lips, an angel had a hold of your hand. It took you all of two seconds to sink the angel blade into the chest of the being. After the angel was dead you turned to face a few others that were stepping closer to you.

“Oh look, you brought your friends.”

You muttered as Sam took out a few angels to your left. You reached behind you taking out your revolver and blasting the angel killing bullets into the others.

“Sam, remind me to thank Dean for his hard work on these bullets.”

Before Sam could respond, a voice you knew well began to speak

.“Yes, let's thank Dean.”

Your eyes widened as Raphael stepped out from the booth that you couldn’t see. Christ…

‘Hello, Y/n. I see you don’t have my brother watching your every move?”

You swallowed as Raphael gave you that cold brutal smile that could scare anyone to death.

“I don’t need Gabriel to watch my every move, dickbag. I have my big girl panties on. You and Michael need to get some new hobbies. I swear you two are like our little annoying fan brats that just won’t go away. I hear that scrap booking is nice.”

Raphael raised an eyebrow.

“Is that supposed to be funny? Do you think that you are funny or something?”

You grinned.

“In the words of my dear brother, I think that I am adorable.”

Raphael’s unnamed expression deepened.

“You are about to be dead. It won’t be a bad thing. I will just have to watch Gabriel be in agony for the rest of eternity but I think that I can manage that.”

You glanced at Sam out of the corner of your eye, he was watching Raphael's every move and was ready to pounce on the archangel.

“I’ve got it, Sam.”

You said softly before looking back to Raphael.

“You first.”

Before Raphael could get his hand up, you fired the gun, hitting him square in the chest. Raphael blinked stupidly as the pain began to take over.

“Bet you never expected this did you, you stupid son of a bitch? Archangel killing bullets. You thought I was just playing? Bitch I never play! Now you're dead and Michael will be next.”

You looked away as Raphael died. Part of you wanted to watch. The other part didn’t. You knew that this would be what it would be like if Gabriel died and your mind didn’t want to process it. You also didn’t want to process the thought that you would have to tell Gabriel that you had killed his brother. At odds or not, Raphael was still Gabriel’s brother and this would probably be a rough thing.

Sam’s hand touching the small of your back made you jump. You turned to face your brother, who cradled his clearly stunned daughter in his arms.

“What did aunty do?”

She whispered, looking around. Sam sighed. He had all of the intentions of letting his daughter grow up in ignorance of the ways of their “world.” Amelia could be the one that went into the world without fooling with the supernatural but who was Sam kidding? This would be her life just like it was his and yours.

“She saved all of us.”

______

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#Gabriel #Gabriel fan fiction #Gabriel x Reader #Reader x Gabriel #Supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #SUPERNATURAL AU #Dean Winchester #Sam Winchester #Jack Kline #Cas #Castiel #Dean x Cas #Cas x Dean #raphael #michael #to the ends of the earth #update #ourloveisforthelovely

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inawickedlittletown · 4 years

Text

9-1-1 Meta: The Lawsuit

Note: this is over 2k of meta on the lawsuit as inspired by some discussion on the buddie discord.

So I think there are definitely a few sides to the story when it comes to the lawsuit and why a lawsuit was necessary. I think that Buck was absolutely right to do it. He was in a corner at the point where the lawsuit happens and I don't think he actually had any other choice. Should he have talked to any of the others? Yeah, probably.

But here's why I don't think Buck thought that it actually mattered: Buck is depressed and upset prior to the tsunami and yet afterwards he pulls himself out of that and he actually goes and takes the fire marshal job and he might not want it but he's there doing it and I think he was content doing that as long as he needed to because he absolutely felt that eventually when the fire department decided he was ready or he got off the blood thinners that he would be cleared to work.

Buck even has this idea that hey maybe if his friends/coworkers and captain write a letter pleading his case that it might help change the minds of the department or fire chief or whoever decided that he was a liability while on blood thinners. Buck is so sure that he has their loyalty and their friendship that he fudges their numbers for the drill and that he tells the lawyer that he is absolutely not going to help him sue the city or the first responders. And the lawyer sees him as a victim, he sees Buck as someone that is wrongfully kept from his job and yet despite Buck agreeing with that, Buck in that moment defends the department and his friends and essentially says that they have his back and he has their backs too. That Buck is willing to wait to get back to his job and yet in yearning for it back and in seeing the way that the others are working and seeing Bosko, Buck comes up with a plan. It’s what he does. And he thinks that maybe he just needs the support of the 118 to get the department to let him return to work.

I don’t think that Buck even fully believes that something as little as a letter would help, but he wants to be active and he wants to do something and that’s the only thing to him that he can do.

I’ll pause here to talk about Bobby. I don’t believe 100% that Bobby wanted to keep his decision to keep Buck from working from Buck. I will always be left wondering if Bobby was going to talk to Buck in that moment at the station before the call comes in and they all leave Buck at the station because it does seem like Bobby wants to talk to Buck about something...it just doesn’t happen. I just have to wonder about when Bobby was asked his opinion and how much time passes between that and Buck finding out.

Instead, Athena invites Buck over to their house for dinner and Bobby isn’t too happy with that and he’s especially not happy about it once Buck starts talking about his plan. It’s interesting to me that Bobby didn’t have to say anything to Buck about his part in keeping Buck from returning. He could have just let Buck go on and on about what he hoped to do with the help of the team. Maybe he could have told Buck that it was a long shot or he could have explained that it wouldn’t work. Instead, Bobby admits that he’s the one keeping Buck from returning to work and Bobby explains his reasoning behind it. So I actually don’t really see this as lack of communication or clarity as much as Buck finding out at the wrong moment and Bobby not giving him all the info.

So for me the problem is not that Bobby made that decision and didn’t tell Buck...it’s the way that Bobby delivers the information to Buck. It’s the way that he isn’t exactly gentle with Buck or explains himself — he sort of treats Buck like a child that’s done something wrong and the worst thing is that Bobby is making excuses to rationalize his decision instead of admitting that it’s entirely an emotional response. Bobby is scared and he’s probably guilty because the kid involved in the bombing was after him and he’s also afraid of losing Buck and we see this fear the moment that he gets that call about Buck at the hospital during the Halloween episode. None of this makes Bobby any less guilty, but I think his part in this isn’t as bad as everyone makes it out and Bobby’s mistake is in that he doesn’t share his feelings with Buck — he isn’t open about his real reasons for not wanting Buck back at work and instead makes it about the job and about his duty as a Captain and that’s not what Buck needs not when Buck is someone that is very open with his heart and his feelings as we see in the Christmas episode where he tells Bobby how much he cares about him.

The reason that Buck is so shocked and upset is because Bobby goes against everything he believed — Bobby does the exact thing that Buck never expected from him. He expected Bobby to support him and for Bobby to be just as eager to have Buck back at work. And the thing is that no one seems to fully understand why Buck is so eager to have his job back. Maddie doesn’t get it. Ali left him over it. And he’s seen his team working with someone new and seemingly not missing him. Because despite how much Bobby cares and how he tells the others that Buck has them no one but Eddie actually makes it clear to Buck that Buck has them. (Although Buck is pretty sure that they’re in his corner too) Eddie is the one that reaches out and pulls Buck out of bed and forces him to watch Chris and while we know how that ends, it does seem to make a difference to Buck in that after all of that is done, he does take the fire marshal job.

I also see a lot of mention of Eddie not being there for Buck, but he was. He went and tried to help in the only way that Eddie could. And after the tsunami we get that amazing scene where Eddie tells him that he trusts Buck with Christopher — with the most important person in Eddie’s life. But we then have to remember that Christopher went through a trauma and that Eddie is dealing with a lot post-tsunami and he can’t worry about Buck because Chris comes first. Not to mention that since Buck got back to work (even as a fire marshal) that Eddie probably figured he was okay and over it. The others probably felt that Buck was okay too. And life is busy so it’s perfectly understandable why they might not be constantly checking up on Buck.

But let’s also take note that Athena invites Buck over perhaps because she feels like checking in on him or just because she cares about him and she knows that he isn’t around his friends often and I think also because she knows what Bobby’s done and she assumes that Buck already knows and she likely wanted to clear the air or at least make sure they were okay except that Bobby didn’t tell Buck and then there’s just drama at her dinner table and you can tell in that scene how much she feels for Buck. Bobby did not handle that well at all and Athena is well aware of it.

But now as to the lawsuit. So Buck leaves Bobby and Athena’s and he feels betrayed and I think that had Buck not met that lawyer, it wouldn’t have even been a thought to him. He probably would have quit being a fire marshal though...or maybe he would have spoken to the department directly. But Buck is completely worried about himself and his job only. He had no time to think about anyone else or to presume that anyone else on the team would be on his side (or maybe he expected the rest of them to be and for them to just understand and accept what Buck is doing and not hold the lawsuit against him) or be able to do anything about it past commiserate with him. But the lawyer...now he can absolutely do something for Buck. And I think Buck absolutely feels like it is his only option. Bobby has after all told him that he won’t be approving Buck coming back until he is no longer on blood thinners but now Buck has some idea that the department might think otherwise and Buck can be a bit impatient and he’s also desperate and he’s really doing what he needs to do and what he feels to be his only option.

The real problem with the lawsuit is the lawyer. He’s sleazy and he’s basically out for a payday and nothing more. We actually don’t fully know how much Buck tells him and how much he already knows or finds out on his own. After all, we do know that he’s looked into Buck before he even tries to talk Buck into suing. This lawyer doesn’t care about Buck or what Buck wants and I think it’s important to note that Buck does end up refusing the money and also that the city and the department felt that they needed to settle the lawsuit rather than take it to court.

I could argue that the city doesn’t want to deal with a lawsuit and the press and all of that and that’s why they decide to settle and it’s sort of what Bobby tells Buck when he tells him he can return to work, but I think it can be equally true that they settle because they feel that they might lose if they go to court and that will make things worse than just giving Buck a payday. But that’s not what Buck wants...he wants his job back. And if they can admit that he’s right through settling then clearly Buck is right about how he should have been back at work long before this. And it isn’t in some ways about Buck winning or being right as much as it is about Buck being treated equally and how Buck’s decision to take the risk and work while on blood thinners is being taken away. It speaks to anyone that’s had their workplace refuse to let them return to work because they’re unwilling to work with their disabilities or their injuries or their medical conditions. And using examples about the others and how quickly they were allowed to get back to work in comparison despite perhaps not being fully ready in a mental or physical capacity was an important thing for the case even if it brought up personal things that clearly upset the others a little.

I get why people were upset about Buck going through with the lawsuit. I get why Eddie was upset and why Bobby didn’t want Buck back at work, but I don’t feel that any of that negates how important and how necessary it was for Buck to go through with the lawsuit because he clearly had a winning chance and because Bobby’s reasons for not allowing Buck to return to work were personal and emotion based and shouldn’t have played a part in spite of the blood thinners clearly being a setback and being a concern and a risk. But it’s a high risk job anyway and something that Buck has already signed up for.

It’s just interesting that Buck goes and tells Bobby directly what he’s done and that Hen and Chim aren’t too bothered by it. Hen is probably the most understanding of all of them because she knows how little Buck has outside of the 118 and because she doesn’t take any of it personally. Chim understands what it’s like to not be at work and I think he recognizes that things were handled differently for Buck than him. They both welcome him back in their own ways and don’t hold the lawsuit against him. Bobby is clearly just worried about Buck but he doesn’t ever share that with Buck and instead does everything he can to keep Buck out of danger. And Eddie...well to Eddie it felt like being left and abandoned and especially so when he can’t even call Buck to bail him out of jail. He’s definitely having his own issues and projecting and not really understanding Buck’s side of it at all because he just doesn’t think that Buck’s problems are important or at least not worth a lawsuit and to Eddie that feels like betrayal but that all goes back to his issues with being left by Shannon.

All of this to say that Buck was absolutely in the right to do what he needed to do for himself and to get what he wanted which is his job and his family back.

#911 fox #911 meta #911 fox meta #evan buckley #911 on fox #meta #basically I wrote an essay about this because I can't ever keep anything short #now that I finished writing NTM I have time to dive into all the meta I want to write

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yamithediaperdork · 4 years

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Let’s all go to (baby)jail! (Miraculous ladybug and cat noir)

Nathaniel Kurtzberg yawn loudly and rubbed a eye as he finished cleaning up the main playroom. at age 16 the two time akuma villain had struggled to find then lucked into a job that would help pay for his art supplies over the summer break. at first he'd been thrilled but the truth of the matter was, while playing with the kids that came to rainbow cloud Daycare was fun, and they all loved his sketches he made for them, at the end of the day he was normally too damn tired to do any art for himself. Not helping things was the fact he was suppose to be on the afternoon shift, but one of the other workers had called in sick and as low man on totem pole, Nate got to fill the morning shift and would still have to do his afternoon shift. 'and the stupid evening shift didn't clean up before leaving, again.' he thought glumly. the only other worker on was up in the office, taking in phone calls and the like, or at least that's what Johnson claimed. Nate had a feeling the chubby slob was really just watching YouTube videos on the office computer but since he was the boss's son, there was nothing he could really say or do. all and all it was looking like it was gonna be a shit day, but straitening up and dusting off the brown slacks and white shirt that was his uniform, Nate tried to force a smile on his face. 'no sense in taking out your bad mood on the little ones.' He reminded him, looking at the clock and noting it was almost opening time. there was a heavy knock on the front door and despite the place having a no early drop off rule, Nate wasn't shocked some upper class twit would be dragging their kid by already. shaking his head and making his way to the door he opened it and took a step back in semi concern as some sort of love child between a body builder and a gorilla was standing there, glaring. "Can..Can I help you?" Nate asked, a tremor in his voice though he thought the man looked almost..oddly..familiar. The mountain of muscles made a grunting noise and then held out a letter, which Nate took with shaking hands and glanced over it as the missing link walked towards a fancy black car, leaving Nate hoping that he wasn't leaving cracks in the pavement.

' To which ever wage lackey receives this, my son had been enrolled in your little day care as out of all of the daycare's in the city, this one has the most success with it's potty training. My son despite being older then normally allowed into your daycare and into your potty training program has been allowed due to the frankly massive amount of money i have paid to brush aside all concern's. he's to be treated like any other toddler who's failed to keep his pants clean and know that while i have high hopes this will pay off, no fault will be placed upon you as the boy is simply lazy, and i suspect is doing it just for fun. PS: Don't be scared to spank him if he acts up, he's old enough to know better.

Signed Gabriel Agreste. '

Nate raised a eyebrow as he finished reading, that last name, it could really be.. and then he looked up and grinned ear to ear as of all the people he could of expected to see being enrolled in the daycare's award winning potty class, it was Mr. supermodel himself, Adrien Agreste! The Blond boy was CLEARLY not happy as he was escorted out of the car, pouting and looking down at the ground and muttering something as he was handed a large light black diaper bag with 'Adrien's diaper bag' stitched on the side in white. he was dressed in Black velco sneakers and white socks and wearing a pair of light black shorts to match the shade of his diaper bag and as Nate looked, it was clear to see the shorts were puffed out by a bulky diaper. the diaper itself was over the top of the waistband and was a cream white, it had been visible when Adrien's white t-shirt rode up for a brief second. The shirt itself amusingly had text on the front that ID'ed Adrien as a crybaby brat and while Nate couldn't make out what Adrien was muttering about apparently the gorilla had had enough and gave the blond a firm swat on his padded bottom, making the blond cry out. The gorilla pointed towards Nate and Adrien looked like he wanted to complain, but wisely kept it to himself and carried the large diaper bag (which seemed to be so loaded with extra diapers and the like it took the blond using both arms to lug it) towards the door. '...Oh..today just got a WHOLE lot better.' Nate thought. "hi little guy, welcome to Rainbow Cloud. follow me instead and we'll get you alll set up." Nate said, even as Adrien gave a dirty look.

For Adrien, his hell had started in the last two weeks in school when in the span of 3 days he'd had 6 wetting accidents and woken up having messed the bed twice. Thankfully he'd been able to cover up the accidents so no one had noticed, but naturally his father had found out about him having changes of clothes brought to him, not to mention the bed messing had been impossible to hide. A trip over his fathers knee and 20 minutes with his nose in the corner, and Adrien had been warned NOT to let it happen again or steps would be taken. the blond picked up on the threat and had nodded, promising he'd take care of it and for a day and a half, and carefully controlling his fluid intake he'd been golden. it had been during a pep rally when disaster had struck, he'd been sipping at a soda in the crowd when a loud bit of pyro had gone off and the sudden boom, and the extra bit of fluid had resulted in his flooding his pants, though since they were out in the field the urine had thankfully gone into the ground. thinking quick before anyone noticed he 'accidentally' spilled his soda on himself, soaking his pants even more and joked about his butter fingers and got permission to go and change. His father hadn't been fooled for a second, and when his bodyguard can brought Adrien a change of pants, he'd also brought him a pair of puppy print pull-ups. Knowing better then to argue the part time hero had wore the pull ups, though he could see there was no way anyone could tell under his baggy tan pants, he'd been sure the world knew for the rest of the school day. Further disaster struck on the drive home after school, his father apparently had made it clear no after school fun even if it was Friday, as they got stuck in a traffic jam. trying to ease the sense of doom, and pretty sure he was going to get anther spanking when they got home, Adrien had been watching TV in the back and munching on some rainbow chip muffins he had stashed in a compartment back there, when the urge to go number two hit him like a ton of bricks. he'd been making use of diarrhea medicine to help keep his bed clean and actually hadn't gone number 2 in the day or so as a result, but apparently he'd pushed his luck. squirming and trying to soothe the cramps, he'd begged and pleaded for his body guard to either get them out of the traffic jam, or let him out of the car to use a bathroom, but the doors stayed locked and he'd of blown his secret identity if he had just turned into cat noir and forced his way out. (not to mention he wasn't sure if the pull up would stay hidden with Cat noire's much tighter clothing, and if he was gonna fail at going poopie on the potty it was somewhat better to do it in his civilian clothes, instead of his super suit) the belt and pants had been digging in and Adrien thought MAYBE if he took them off (the back windows were tinted after all so no one could look in) that might buy him the bit of extra time he'd need, and so in just his t-shirt and puppy pull-up, he ended up kneeling on the spacious floor of the back seat, leaning on the seat with his upper half and groaning and pounding a fist, trying desperately not to fudge his pull-up. For all of 20 seconds it felt like it might of worked, then they hit a pot hole, and well that was it. game over. The boy howled and cried as he made softball sized lumps in the back of his pull-up and a rotten stench had filled the back seat. Thankfully (or more accurately, amazingly) the Pull-up hadn't leaked then he was forced to stay in his kneeling position, so that he didn't smush his smelly load and risk leaking out all over the expensive seats. Thankful for the private parking they had, Adrien had been led inside quickly and no one had seen, but instead of being given a chance to clean up he was presented to his father who had wrinkled his nose in disgust. One LONG lecture later, he was allowed to shower, then was spanked and out on time out and put in double pull-ups. For the rest of the remaining school year Adrien could of counted the amount of times he actually made it to the bathroom on one hand. Pull-ups during the day, with him having a pack at the school, and diapers once he got home. thankfully Hawk moth had found something better to do during that week then making villains as Adrien had been put more or less under lock down. it wasn't that he didn't think he couldn't of snuck away from his body guard, but there was also the fact his pants had been taken away, and he was given a pair to wear to school, and any modeling gigs he had booked. rocking the diaper and shirt look around his house was one thing, but he pictured having to turn back after fighting a villain and being stranded in down town Paris in the thick white diaper his father preferred him in. Adrien had figured this was going to be his summer, under house arrest till he could get his bladder and bowels to fall in line but his father had other ideas. "Clearly you're not even making a effort to use the washroom, from what I've seen you just sit on your behind and play your little games while stinking up my house." his father had said. "well I'm not going to let you be a lazy little potty pants and make it so i have to come home to a house smelling like a diaper pail. I've enrolled you in a daycare that will help you get back your control." "But..But..Dad you can't! I can do this! I'll fi-" "I didn't ask for your opinion on it young man, I already took care of it. you'll be going every day, Monday to Saturday, and I expect you to do your best with their 3 week potty training program. You'll either shape up and prove what I've been saying, that your just lazy and been doing this for attention and stop in short order, and then can just stop going once you've proven you can be a 'big boy.' Or you'll prove what you've been saying and you really can't help it and you'll be potty trained..again. Hopefully it'll stick this time." Shopping for the supplies had been mortifying but today as Adrien looked at the face of a semi friend, it seemed like a delight compared to the day that laid ahead of him.

"So little guy, this is the main indoor play area, though we have a playground in the back." Nate said, clearly taking delight in following orders to the letter. "and over here is a area you'll be getting VERY familiar with, hopefully to great success." Adrien followed Nate's gaze and whined loudly, it was a wall lined with 5 training potties, and had a dry erase board above each one. they had tape on them to form a grid that displayed days and times, with room for someone to draw to write something in. "Your daddy must be very eager to get you potty trained, not just anyone gets the full experience.we only focus on 5 kids at a time but if your enrolled in it, your daddy must of paid top dollar." Nate said and then gave Adrien a pat on his padded rump, making the blond sulk even more. the diaper bag had been taken from him and was over by a changing table, so his hands were free at least but all that had meant was whenever they walked anywhere Nate had made Adrien hold his hand. "I will warn you that since your technically one over the limit, you'll be waiting in line to use any potty thats free. I'll be keeping track of your potty progress for you on a card you can take home and show your daddy, so give it your best ok champ?" "..Nate come on, you know I'm not one of these little to-" Adrien said, finally having enough and turning to give the smaller boy a piece of his mind. "Before you dig yourself a nice deep hole, You should know I have full permission to spank your butt if I need to.and we've been told to treat you just like any other little guy struggling to learn how to keep his pants free." Nate said quickly. "..Of course you have. My father is a fucking asshole." Adrien groaned, rolling his eyes then yelped as a hard swat when on his padded rump. "Bad boy! no swearing! Little boys who swear and cuss get their mouths washed out!" Nate said, shaking a finger at him. a mental image of himself with soap suds around his mouth and blowing bubbles popped into Adrien's head and he whimpered. "I.I'm sorry! I didn't know." he said quickly. "...I'll let it go THIS time, but next time, they're gonna be calling you bubble breath. got it mister?" Nate asked. Adrien swallowed his pride and nodded. "right, now going on with our little tour..give me your hand little guy..that's better. anyways, over here is our arts and crafts corner where we'll-" As Nate droned on Adrien whined and found himself oddly fighting the urge to suck his thumb.

Johnson came out and met with Adrien, chuckling lots. Adrien had felt a brief hope spot that maybe he'd be looking after him but Johnson made it clear he wasn't the type to deal with dirty diapers, so he put Nate in charge of the big baby. As parents started to drop off their children Adrien found a place to try and hide for the most part, which while normally Nate would of raised a fuss and made sure he stayed where he could be seen, having one of Paris's top models in diapers and at a day care might of caused a few issues. It was easier to let him go and hide and the oldest kid being dropped off today aside from the ex model, now pamper packer, was a 5 year old so it was unlikely their parents would believe them or they'd recognize him. Still it didn't stop a few of the children from spotting him as he was hiding under one of the crib, twin brothers age 4 who peered under the crib having seen him. they were dressed in a blue t-shirt and green cover-all's for one, and a green t-shirt and blue cover-all's for the other, both sporting brown hair in mushroom cuts. "Um, Your not 'pose to be under there." blue shirt said, trying to keep his voice down low. "you'll get in trouble and lose your cookie at snack time." "Oh uh..well..I got permission from Nate so it's ok." Adrien said, which, technically was true. it wasn't like Nate didn't know where he was. "wait.." Green shirt said, furrowing his eye brows. "Your kinda..big ta be in here.. how old are you?" "oh uh.." Adrien paused, not wanting to say his real age, but needing to think of something to keep the kids from asking too many more questions. "I'm 9." he said. "hehehe ya don't hafa be shy if your hear and 9 silly. we hada this one um.. " blue shirt paused and looked to his brother for help, and green shirt leaned over and whispered in his ear. "10 year old who was here, and git this! he was here cuz he was a potty pants! me and Joshie were potty trained at -2- and this big kid wa-" "Gawy! you know you're not 'pose ta pick on big babies!" green shirt, or Joshie Adrien supposed, scolded his brother. "Aw come one, it was sooo funny! he kept going " and in place of saying it, Gary blew a raspberry. "in his diaper and bawling like a baby!" "heh.. it was pretty funny." Joshie admitted. "O-Oh yeah.. ehehe..that does sound funny." Adrien said weakly, now really hoping the boys would leave, or at least praying they wouldn't notice his bulky diaper butt. "why dun you come out and we can go and play toys. ya needa hit the toy chest fast if you wanna git a good toy." Joshie said, with Gary nodding and stoking his chin as if his twin had given sage like advice. Adrien chuckled at how cute the boys where being and seeing how the parents were starting to leave he started to crawl out sadly for our hero, the back of his diapers, just under the waistline, but on the seam, caught on a nail. So eager was Adrien to get out and show off (and maybe make this stay SOMEWHAT bearable) that he didn't notice. Had he but noticed, he might of been able to get away with just a hole in the shorts but atlas, at the high speed he was scooting out the shorts gave way to the nail like a hot knife though butter. Gary and josh both paused as they heard the ripping noise, and Adrien was blushing bad as he stood up, his hands going behind his back, feeling the slick plastic of his diaper and frantically trying to get the two sides of the massive rip together. "You uh, heh..you OK?" Gary asked, giggling a little. "Did you rip your shorts or was that like a BIG fart?" Josh asked, already holding his nose just in case. "I uh..we;ll." Adrien was very shy and found himself realizing just how much he hadn't appreciated the shorts being in tack. "He totally ripped his shorts. dun worry big kid! I got ya!" Gary said then cupping a hand to his mouth he shouted. "NATTTTE! DA NEW KID RIPPED HIS SHORTS!" Gary hollered, then gave Adrien a thumbs up. "...Oh this isn't going to end well." Adrien muttered.

End part one.

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missjosie27 · 4 years

Text

Control

Hey, guys!

So I’ve been working on a trade with my good pal @aleksia-aries-hogwartsmystery aka @thereluctantherosrose. She’s an amazing person and she drew a little gift for me this past week.

Here is my gift in return! A little fic featuring her MC, Barnaby, and plenty of angst xD

Aleksia Aries was not one who usually let life get her down. The beginning of the school year brought many challenges- the feud between the Haywood sisters, Merula’s increased anger (if such a thing were possible for the Slytherin girl) and desire for revenge, Charlie’s distance, not to mention a brand new curse that petrified people dead in their tracks. No, after years of experience in breaking the Cursed Vaults and the constant back and forth that usually occurred in her friend group, she could handle most things as long as she kept her nose to the grindstone and kept an upbeat attitude. At 5′3 with a curvaceous figure and pretty features, her personality and strength more than made up for lack of size.

Indeed, very few things could put the Gryffindor sixth year into a state. Which is what made breakfast all the more troubling.

It started out normally enough. Though Aleksia and Rowan were girls they usually liked to sit among the boys at breakfast as it provided a great deal of entertainment. Today proved to be no different as Ben was studying defensive curses fervently while sipping his proclaimed newfound love for black coffee. Jae was idly playing with his porridge while counting his inventory stock for the day.

“How’s business today?” Aleksia grinned at him as she sat down at the table.

“Oh you know, the usual,” came the vague reply, not uncharacteristic for the Asian boy. “Just crunching the numbers.”

“You know, if you cared the same way about your marks as you do with your smuggling perhaps you’d have received more than just four O.W.L.’s last year.”

“My future lies outside the realm of academic achievement.”

He gave a wink and went back to counting his numbers when the sound of wings flapping caused the table to look up.

“Ah, the morning post is here,” Rowan said with satisfaction. Evidently, Ben was unaware of this fact as he whipped his wand as though a threat were bearing down on him from above.

“Relax, Ben,” Rowan said with a raised eyebrow. “There’s no one trying to kill Aleksia at the present moment.”

“You never know that,” came the stern reply, so characteristic of the ‘new Ben’.

“Pretty sure you need to ease up on the coffee there mate,” Charlie laughed. “Stuff has you jumpier than a bowtruckle. Ah...yes thank you mum.”

He caught a parcel from Errol, the Weasley Family owl, which was evidently some sort of fudge that the illustrious Mrs. Weasley had baked.

“One can never be too prepared,” Ben said, burying his head back in the book.

Aleksia rolled her eyes at her so called ‘protector’. Her long time friend’s insistence on shadowing her everywhere she went was irritating to say the least. The once timid, shy boy had seemingly forgotten that it was she that frequently protected him not to mention having faced monumental danger time and time again in breaking the curses. How quickly one forgot. Even so, she still considered him a friend and let most of his intrusive proclamations go.

All of a sudden, a letter dropped in front of her which was rather unexpected. She had written to her mother two days ago and wasn’t due for a reply for another day at least. She then saw that the handwriting on the front was not that of her mum but of her father.

Her stomach dropped like an anchor in the sea as she reluctantly took the letter and stroked her snowy owl, Pepper, allowing her to drink from her goblet. Willing herself not to tremble, she lid open the envelope and withdrew its contents. What she read was possibly the most frightening thing she could have imagined.

Daughter,

I am writing this to you in relation to your coming of age. Though our interactions are sparse I am still your father and therefore I play a role in your future whether you care to acknowledge that fact or not.

You are sixteen years of age and approaching the age of adulthood in our world. Therefore, it is high time that you look towards the most important aspect of the society in which we live: furthering the family line. I have reached out to several families of noble stock and many have expressed interest in a possible match. In particular Lady Equestria Rowle has a son your age and has arranged for you two to meet in order to get better acquainted. The marriage itself will occur shortly afterwards.

Do NOT attempt to defy me, daughter. It is the destiny of every pure blood witch and wizard to keep the line free from the rotten influences unworthy to wield magic. In order to ensure your compliance, I am sending your cousin Henry to fetch you and I expect that you will not give him trouble.

Regards,

Your Father

Aleksia felt her body go numb as she stared out into space, a concoction of rage and disbelief surging through her. How...how could he do this to her? William Aries was a hard, stern, prejudiced man and had injured her and her mother multiple times over. But never before had this sort of control been attempted on her person. Before, he was a distant figure, hard to ignore to be sure, but far away enough in mind to live life without much interference.

That time was seemingly over. And the proof of her father’s seriousness was in her cousin. Henry was just as abusive, if not more so than William and there was no doubt Durmstrang had strengthened his love for all things dark and cruel.

Fear was unbecoming of a Gryffindor, but even the bravest carried fears. For Aleksia, it was the shadows of her father’s family.

Suddenly feeling extremely nauseous, she rose from the table and left abruptly.

“I have to go.”

She barely registered the looks on her friend’s faces as she stormed out of the Great Hall, nor the concerned expression on a large, Slytherin male who’s eyes followed her path. She didn’t even notice when she accidentally passed through one of the ghosts while searching for one of the private closets that Hogwarts seemed to specialize in having. The shivers the imprint of an undead person could impart paled in comparison to fear of being forced to marry a person her father deemed suitable for her.

In the darkness, tears fell silently onto the ground.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Aleksia remained subdued for the entirety of the day. Her friends noticed but no one commented, at least not at first. Even her longtime rival, Merula seemed a bit perturbed that their usual banter was absent during potions class. But it was who Penny looked especially worried, especially when the duck face Tonks made at her failed to elicit a chuckle. She cornered her after Herbology.

“Aleksia, is everything, okay?”

Forcing a smile, the young Gryffindor tried to put on a convincing face.

“Oh yeah, I’m fine, Penny. I’m just a bit distracted today. No big deal.”

The blonde remained unconvinced, however.

“I’ve known you for six years. And there’s not a day I can remember where you didn’t at least say hi to me in Herbology. There’s something up, I know it.”

“She’s right you know,” Rowan cut in, her arms clutching books but with the same worry etched on her features. “I haven’t seen you this upset since your first year. And if it’s anything to with-”

“It’s not Jacob,” Aleksia blurted out and there was no denying the sincerity in her tone.

Rowan swallowed. The two being best friends, there was only one thing that could instill such fear and loathing that she knew of.

“You don’t mean…”

“That’s exactly who I mean!” the young female Gryffindor couldn’t help but reveal. “My father is hell bent on marrying me off to some bloody tosser that I don’t even know against my will and I have no say in it whatsoever!”

The outburst was sudden but not expected as Rowan gave a fearful gasp and Penny’s eyes widened.

“Aleksia, I thought you and your father were estranged. You told me you barely talked.”

The black haired girl sighed angrily.

“You’re right. But he still has his ways of making his presence known. He still sends letters and has threatened more than once to pull me out of Hogwarts if I didn’t comply with what he wanted. Thankfully mum and Dumbledore have prevented that from happening but it’s different this time.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s sending my cousin Henry after me.”

Rowan’s face became quite ashen. As the resident best friend of the Hogwarts curse breaker she knew quite well the stories of her infamous cousin and his penchant for cruelty.

“We’ll think of something. Let’s come up with a plan. There’s no way we’re going to let your dad or cousin do this to you.”

“It’s essentially kidnapping,” Penny agreed. “And I’m with Rowan. We can prevent this from happening and we will.”

A small smile returned to Aleksia’s pretty features but the anxiety in her eyes did not abate. Contrary to her usual social butterfly personality, this was

“Thanks, guys. But I need to think this over alone for a while. I’ll come back upstairs to the common room and meet you there, okay Rowan?”

Both girls could sense she needed private time and nodded their heads respectfully. Penny gave her a big hug in the meantime, reminding her that if she needed anything to not hesitate. For her part, Aleksia made her way over to the courtyard to gather her thoughts.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The weather, though chilly, was also sunny, a rarity for Scotland this time of year and it allowed Aleksia to try and calm her nerves as her mood teeter tottered from angry to one of immense fear. Though she had told Rowan and a few others about Henry, no one besides her could know what he was truly capable of. Horrid flashbacks surged through her mind as painful memories of being kicked, bit, slapped, and knocked down overwhelmed her senses. Aleksia was the brave and bold Gryffindor that never backed down from anything but if there were two people in this world that could instill fear in her heart and one of them was on the way.

There was a second aspect to this that remained unspoken. Though not mentioned specifically in the letter from her father, the implication and the name ‘Equestria Rowle’ rang enough of a bell. She was married to Thorfinn Rowle, a suspected Death Eater that was never formally charged with any crime, but the Gryffindor teen was well acquainted with that circle and the fact they had a son in her year, Mortimer. Aleksia didn’t interact with him much but Barnaby’s eyes often darkened when his name came up, something not easily achieved with the happy go lucky Slytherin.

Aleksia sat down and smoothed her skirt on the edge of the fountain, mentally slapping herself. How could she have forgotten Barnaby in all of this? He was also familiar with that life given his own parents were Death Eaters. Would he know of a solution? Was he not owed an explanation? She hadn’t spoken a word to him all day and he was probably concerned maybe even hurt because of it. But it also wasn’t a coincidence that Mortimer was giving her sly looks in potions and that only added to the tension.

Burying her head temporarily in her hands, she was at a loss at how to figure this out. What was she to do? How was she supposed to tell her current boyfriend? Given that her father was still technically a legal guardian, could Dumbledore step in as he had before?

Her thoughts were interrupted by a familiar tone, one that simultaneously brought fear and rage in her heart.

“My, my you’re predictable,” spoke the smarmy, sarcastic voice of her cousin. “Finding you was easier than I expected.”

Standing across from her, was a tall teenage boy with slightly tousled blond hair, blue eyes, and a permanent smirk plastered across his features. He wore a dark trench coat and leather boots alongside a holster that contained his wand. Though his face was alight with energy, it was not the positive kind as his cold, sea eyes glinted with a maliciousness Aleksia was all too familiar with.

“What...why...how are you here so quickly?” she demanded, rising from the edge of the fountain.

“It was a simple matter of asking the headmaster for a favor,” Henry shrugged lazily. “Your father knows him, you see, and they share certain values. Values that are also prized at Durmstrang.” He turned his head and looked up at Gryffindor Tower. “A shame that such traits aren’t shared at Hogwarts.”

“Hogwarts is a better place with one less bigot inside its walls,” Aleksia shot back.

He turned back towards his cousin and gave another smirk.

“Simple retort from a simple, naive girl. Hogwarts couldn’t teach you proper wizarding pride so now, your father will. You had best take a good, long glance at this place, dear cousin. Because you won’t be coming back any time soon.”

“You can tell ‘father’ to stick it up his arse. I’m not going anywhere, least of all into an arranged marriage.”

This did not deter Henry in the slightest. Though his hand was placed on the holster, he made no move to take out his wand and began moving towards Aleksia with the same cruel smile still on his face.

“You don’t want to fight me, dear cousin. The fact of the matter is uncle wants this done quickly and I have little time to get into a war of words with you. And given past circumstances, I think you’ll remember how this usually goes.”

Aleksia didn’t have to ask what that comment meant. As children, Henry delighted in torturing her and causing fights, which he usually won.

“Come with me without delay and without fuss, Aleksia,” he told her, stopping three feet in front of her. “And I promise I won’t hurt you...much.”

It was not a threat, it was a promise. One that the blond fully intended to carry out. Being only 5’3 there was no way to outrun him. Her back against the metaphorical wall, there were only two realistic choices for Aleksia and surrendering to her sadistic cousin was out of the question. Therefore, she took a cue from Mad Eye Moody. Quick as a flash, she drew her wand and threw a blasting hex that caught Henry off guard, sending him crashing back twenty feet and onto his back.

He was up quickly, the smirk no longer there, replaced by a vicious snarl.

“So you choose the hard way,” he spoke with quiet rage. “That’s fine, I’ve been looking for an excuse to try out a few new spells anyway. Who better than my favorite punching bag?”

A half insane look appeared in his sea blue eyes as he yelled out.

“Debilito!”

A white jet of light struck Aleksia in the leg and immediately the area became so weak, it became difficult to stand.

“Neat little trick I picked up at school,” Henry boasted. “Can rob your opponent of most of their stamina and strength. It’ll make this that much easier.”

“You never know when to shut up do you?” the Gryffindor shot back. “Petrificus Totalus!”

The purple spell missed and just as quickly Henry was summoning another curse, this time a sickly, orange color and silent. Aleksia didn’t even want to know what it was. Henry always had an affinity for the Dark Arts and clearly Durmstrang furthered that interest and ambition. Nevertheless, she was able to roll out of the way despite the weakness in her leg and fire off a response.

“Stuepfy!”

Henry blocked it and rushed forward.

“Obtusiore Nouacula!”

“Protego!”

The deadly curse held the force of a hot, blunt knife, throwing Aleksia backwards. She briefly saw a streak of purple flame and it cut into her side but avoided the large majority of its damage. However, she barely had time to recover as Henry kept sending spell after spell against her shield.

“You know,” he called out to her. “It really is pitiful you became the black sheep of the family. A noble line of wizards sullied by your association with blood traitors, mudbloods, and all the rest of the scum that plagues our world. Your affinity for them has made you weak...and uncle won’t stand for it a second longer.”

She tried to ignore his taunts and focus on Mad Eye’s training of constant vigilance and always maintaining a proper stance. She tried to focus on what Barnaby had taught her about mixing her spell arsenal and not becoming too predictable. Even so, she couldn’t resist lashing out against the person who made her life hell during their youth.

“Fuck you! I don’t need your approval for who I am and what I believe nor do I have to look down on other people to feel good about myself. If that’s what it takes to be a part of the ‘family’...”

She reinforced her shield while digging into her stance

“...then I was never part of it in the first place. You don’t have the power to make me do anything, especially marrying that ghastly Slytherin.”

“Oh, but I can,” Henry grinned evilly. “Because now I do have that happy power. Consider this an early wedding present, and my personal swansong to you, Aleksia!”

He pointed his wand directly at her forehead and shouted out ‘Imperio!”

The spell shattered her shield into a million pieces and hit its target without fail. Immediately, a gentleness washed over Aleksia’s mind, feeling as though she were drifting on a fluffy, cloud of some sort, all cares washed away.

Come with me, a familiar voice spoke to her from somewhere far away, its tone delightful and reasonable. You’re going to be married and further our family’s heritage. This is the life of every pure-blood worth their magic. It will be the easiest thing you’ve ever done.

She didn’t bother to try and argue, merely nodding in reply.

Now let us go back to England. Your father awaits us. He is eagerly awaiting your arrival

Aleksia’s body began to follow the order but her mind suddenly began to fight back, knowing full well what awaited her if she followed the direction.

Yes, cousin. You must. Come with me.

She fought harder this time as the gentle, fluffy feeling began to evaporate.

I said no

You don’t have a choice

I won’t do it

You will do it. Take my hand now or else

“I said...I WON’T GO!!” Aleksia screamed. Suddenly, the curse was gone and she raised her wand at the unsuspecting Henry.

“Meteolo!” she bellowed.

Just like that a violent hail and snow storm began pelting Henry relentlessly, a powerful wind throwing him like a rag doll into the air and back onto the cold, hard ground. But Aleksia didn’t stop there, she levitated his body into the air and slammed it against the wall with a sickening crack.

Running towards her tormentor, the Gryffindor teen only saw red as she began to relentlessly kick and punch every square inch of her cousin’s body, barely registering his broken nose or his bleeding forehead.

It was for every fight…

Every tormentous incident…

All of the damage and suffering she had endured under his hand.

The descent into raw fury and revenge knew no bounds as her fists became runaway trains with no end in sight to their carnage. They may not have stopped at all until once again, intervention saved Aleksia from a worse outcome.

Strong but soft hands lifted her up and away from Henry’s body. The scent of fresh laundry and sandalwood filled the nostrils.

“Aleksia don’t,” came the deep, gentle tone of Barnaby Lee.

Red vision was replaced by reality as her heart rate began to slow and her proper senses returned. She stopped struggling.

“Barnaby?”

“I know you pain you’re feeling and I know it feels good. But you’re better than that. He’s not worth it.”

Only the gentle words of her equally gentle yet equally as powerful boyfriend could assuage the raw emotion that ran through her. Her conscience agreed with him, however a strong part of her wanted to continue the assault.

“I-he…” she sputtered. “Do you have any idea who he is? What he’s done?!”

“Yes,” came the answer. “And that’s exactly why you have to stop what you’re doing. You don’t want to become the thing you’re fighting against.”

Slowly he set Aleksia down but he did not let her go, instead forcing her to witness the damage she had wrought on her cousin. Henry’s face was bloody and bruised, with one eye already swelling shut. Coughing heavily, he stood up but staggered as he did so, breaking into another wicked smile.

“So this is the famous Barnaby Lee my cousin adores so much?” he slurred. “I’m disappointed. Someone of your stock should know a blood traitor when they see one.”

The burly Slytherin’s eyes darkened, but he did not reach for his wand.

“Leave,” he said quietly. “Leave or I’ll break you in half.”

He didn’t need to be told twice. Henry was not a small man but he was no match in physical strength compared to Barnaby and he was certainly in no shape to take on a second powerful opponent in a duel. Slowly, the blond slinked away.

“This isn’t over,” he said, spitting blood on the ground and then he hurried off and out of sight.

After a few moments of silence, both teenagers let off silent sighs. Barnaby had still not let go of his girlfriend, but the truth is she didn’t want to.

“How’d you know I was here?” she asked softly.

“Penny told me you were alone in the courtyard. I was wondering what was bothering you all day and for a while I was worried I did something wrong….”

He looked back over to the spot where Henry last stood.

“...but I had no idea it was that bad.”

“You-you couldn’t have known it’s not your fault,” Aleksia told him as she turned and buried herself into his chest. “I-I’m sorry I lost control I just…”

“I get it,” Barnaby told her kindly. “You know I do. I may not be the smartest bloke around, but I know enough that you’re too kind and caring to behave like him. I don’t want that to happen. For you to turn into…”

He trailed off and she understood immediately. They both did. Two survivors of immense trauma that lived daily with the repercussions of such injuries trying to move forward in the best way they could. As the son of a father who also attempted to control him, the sixth year Slytherin carried an empathy unmatched by anyone.

“Promise me,” Barnaby almost begged of her.

“You don’t have to worry about that,” Aleksia replied, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Just promise me as well.”

“We’ll never be like them,” came the choked reply.

In the fading afternoon, the young couple simply cried together knowing that eventually they would both be okay…

And what it would take to get there.

#aleksia aries #gryffindor #trade #art trade #slytherin #barnaby lee #penny haywood #rowan khanna #jae kim #ben copper #charlie weasley #hogwarts mystery #fanfiction #hphm fanfiction

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