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jiminiesfavouritecolourisblue · 5 months

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What if... you decided to run away? part three | OT7 BTS au

A very belated update starring my soulmate @shadowofahope and some angst. Warnings: mentions of murder, crime scenes, betrayal, injury, a mentally deranged villain, and bts hurting. 6.3K words

Two options presented themselves to Min Yoongi as he watched you happily having breakfast with the others. He could tell you and this whole dream would be shattered, or he could bury it, and they could all live happily ever after. He was deluding himself he knew it, it wasn’t a question of if you’d find out, it was a matter of when. He also knew, if he wasn’t the one to tell you, you’d never forgive him.

Still with knowing this, his tongue felt heavy in his mouth as he looks at you, his throat seized. All his instincts wanted to do was keep him from breaking the mirage of everything he wanted, and that’s what he would be doing. Call him a coward, like Namjoon was doing with his gaze eating into the side of Yoongi’s face, but to keep that smile on your face, he’d be anything to keep dreaming.

“Hyung, Princess is sleeping next to us tonight,” Jungkook stares down the Prince with the most serious glare he can muster before he sits down for his serving of pancakes. Jimin and Taehyung nodding furiously on either side of him, imploring with their eyes that you both agree.

The idea of you not being in his arms as he slept made an uncomfortable itch manifest under his skin, akin to anxiety but more volatile. He keeps himself from scratching, nodding quietly in agreement as he plays with his food. He can feel the surprise in the room, Jin and Hobi looking at each other in shock. Even you nearly choked on the orange juice, whipping your head round to inspect the silent prince.

He tried to keep his features neutral, knowing you could read him like a book. Your reassuring palm on his thigh lets him know you can see through him, that light squeeze trying to coax him to look at you, but he’s too afraid to. If he faces you he would have to face Namjoon too, and right now, he couldn’t deal with either of you.

“Yoongi?” Your voice is so understanding and soft, the disgust he had in himself he could feel rise like bile in his throat at the sound.

“I don’t like it Jagi,” he tries to smile, trying to meet your eyes. “But you’re right I have to share.”

He excuses himself, unable to stand lying to you about his current predicament, Namjoon’s eyes following him every step of the way. You’re about to follow after him but the taller individual beats you to it, telling you to stay.

The remaining men look between themselves, questioning each other silently before you verbalise their thoughts.

“Did someone say something to him?” You wince at the accusation in your own words.

“We’ve been saying something to him since we landed Princess,” Jimin deadpans, eyes narrowing at you as you defend the greedy prince.

“Look I know he’s been… unreasonable lately, but you know him,” you didn’t want to talk about Yoongi’s vulnerabilities, but the suggestion was clear in your tone. “He doesn’t mean to be-” you hesitate, trying to find the right word.

“An asshole?” Jin suggests, making Jungkook snicker at the language. “We know Princess, but I think he’s forgetting the fact we nearly lost you too.”

“Of course you’re going to defend your prince over your knights in shining armour,” Taehyung mumbles to himself, his fork hitting the plate harshly as he picks up a piece of pancake.

You press your lips together to hold back the laugh, Jin and Jimin mirroring your expression.

—

You knock on the door again, the fifth time, but still no response. It had been a week since you last saw her and now you were worried something was wrong. You frown, there were only so many places you could be on this island and when the weather was scorching like today, the only place was home. So why was your new friend not answering the door?

“Nym?” You call out again, but not a whisper greets you back.

You sigh, sweat starting to drip from your scalp to your face. You turn back to your place, telling yourself you’d try again later.

The heat of the sun cooked the top of your head, you curse yourself for not bringing out a hat or parasol or something. As beautiful as this piece of heaven was, you were not acclimated to it.

You try not to run back to the villa to escape the heat, ready for a cool drink as you reach the front step.

“Where have you been?” Yoongi almost yells in his panic when you walk through the door making you jump.

“Hey,” you frown, hand on your chest to slow your startled heart. “What’s wrong?”

He composes himself at that question, as if he wasn’t aware of his demeanour until you called it out, like he forgot himself for a moment.

“Nothing,” he mutters, walking away with his head hanging low in guilt.

What the heck was that?

“Yoongi?” You call after him, knowing he wanted to be alone but not wanting to leave him with the thoughts drowning him. You follow him into his room, staring in worry when he sits on the bed and hangs his head into his hands.

“Baby?” you ask, heart thumping uncontrollably as your mind races. “Yoongi what’s wrong?”

You’re scared to approach him, depending on his disposition he didn’t always welcome physical comfort when he felt vulnerable. Whatever cloud was thundering above him had his shoulders slumped, you couldn't see his eyes, couldn’t read his expression.

“Yoongi say something,” you beg, still standing by the door. “You’ve been acting weird all week, please say something.”

He sniffs, lifting his head, eyes full of water ready to spill. You stand in shock for a second, Yoongi wasn’t one to cry. You rush to him, holding him tight as he starts to sob, knowing he was unworthy of your comfort right now when he kept the worst secret from you.

“Jagi, tell me what's wrong please,” your own bottom lip wobbles, you hate seeing him upset, it kills you.

He shakes his head against you. You would never forgive him, he tries to get ahold of himself, pushing away from you as he wipes his face in his hands. The look of worry you give him breaks his heart. He takes your hand in his, trying to reassure you silently by stroking his thumb against your skin but he can’t meet your eyes.

He wants to thank you when you don’t push it, when you let it go for now, but the words are bitter and vile in his mouth and he doesn’t release them.

—

“Why are you guys making popcorn?” Namjoon asks when he enters the kitchen, Yoongi close behind him after another argument.

“We fixed the TV,” Jungkook says with a mouthful of snacks.

The prince becomes petrified with panic, he was the one to mess with the wiring so you wouldn’t have access to the outside world or the news. The fear that freezes him, suddenly jolts him out of shock, almost running to the living room where he finds you flicking through the channels. He doesn’t think before he snatches the remote out of your hand, turning the device off and gaining everyone’s questioning gaze.

“Yoongi?”

“Hyung, what are you doing?” Taehyung asks in disbelief, he just got comfortable for movie night.

He can’t say a word, his mind drawing blanks for an excuse.

“You’ve been acting weird all week,” Jin says.

“What the hell is going on with you?” Jimin looks at him as if he’s grown 2 extra heads.

“No tv,” he breathes, the panic not subsiding. Namjoon stands behind him, his cheeks sucked in as he watches the scene. He’s still angry from the fight with the prince, but he wasn't vindictive enough to throw him under the bus.

“Why?” Hoseok asks.

“He’s hiding something,” you finally speak after observing him, trying to take the remote back but he grips onto it like his life depends on it.

Jungkook had followed behind the two when they entered, moving towards the screen while you and Yoongi stared at each other. He uses the controls on the TV to turn it on, Yoongi’s face turning blank when he changes channel. It’s his worst luck that it revealed what he tried so desperately to hide.

You turn to the image of your father’s coffin being walked out of his castle, held up by 6 men as Baekhyun and Taeyeon walked behind it dressed in black. The words the newscaster was saying don’t even reach your ears, your face contorting from shock into pain.

“Jagi…”

You start hyperventilating, the others caught in stupor, unable to move. The king was dead, and they all had strong suspicions that Yoongi knew.

“Y/n let’s calm-“ Namjoon tries reaching for you but you snap away at his touch.

“Did you know?” He would take bullets right now than the look of fire on your face.

“Y/n-“

“Did. You. Know.”

But his face confesses for you where his words can’t. That’s all it takes for you to break down, falling to your knees with your arms around your head, whimpering not just at the loss of life, but the loss of trust.

“Jagi,” Yoongi tries again, his heart blaring fast in alarm.

“Don’t,” the strength in your voice is gone, but he knows not to say another word.

The tension turns thick, Jungkook mutes the news channel, but the footage of your father’s funeral still plays on the screen for them all to see. Minutes pass, no one daring to speak first. Jin glares at the prince, knowing what emotional turmoil he just put you through, how could he keep this from you? His gaze flickers to Namjoon with even more contempt.

“I have to go back,” you say more to yourself than them, coming to stand on wobbly legs, but your words cut through the silence for them all to hear.

“No,” the prince almost growls at the suggestion, but you look ready to tear him right back, looking like a wounded animal on edge, ready to do whatever to survive.

“You,” that one syllable held more venom than he had ever heard from you, finger pointed like a knife in accusation, “don’t get to decide for me, you don’t get to control me, y-you-“

You can’t help it, your words falter as you break down again, the corners of your sneer weighted down by grief, the bottom lip trembling as the fire in your eyes is drowned out by tears.

“You of all people know what it’s like to be controlled your whole life, and you tried to do that to me.”

Your words hit him, they do, like a truck to the chest, ploughing him down, but he can’t regret his actions, only your sorrow.

“If you go back,” he takes a step towards you. “We,” he points to himself and the rest of inhabitants in the room, “go back.”

He waits for the realisation to pass your eyes, and he knows it’s there as they soften on him for a moment.

“If we go back Jagi,” his voice cracks, hating himself for causing you this pain, but wanting you to listen to him. “We are dead men.”

“I can ex-“

“They won’t wait for an explanation Y/n!” He yells frustrated. “They’ll sentence us to death before we’re questioned, you know how it works! How it really works.”

Your lips quiver as you try to look strong, but everything inside of you is crushed. The hurt clawed its way through your body, reducing you to nothing.

“I should have married him,” you say quietly to yourself but the sincerity in your tone breaks their hearts. You regretted choosing them, choosing your freedom.

“And lived unhappily ever after?” Yoongi scoffs with disgust at the image of you and Wang at the altar.

“And this is better? Letting my country and my people fall into the hands of a psychopath? Be betrayed by men who I thought loved me enough not to lie to me?” you reply, staring despondently at nothing. “I was born with my duty and I have failed it.”

His red rimmed eyes can’t look at you.

“For what?” Your hoarse voice presses, hurting you all. “For something as trivial and fickle as love, the monarchy comes first and I have forgotten my place.”

“Please,” he begs, head hung low as every word you uttered, although right, killed him.

“My father was right.” It was like a final bullet, the harshest slap or ice bucket thrown over him.

You turn to Namjoon.

“If you didn’t love me, would you have let me escape?”

Both your minds go to the night he caught you, the night their feelings were revealed. He thinks it through, understanding his own duty. You stare in silence, his mind calculating, overthinking. There just wasn’t a world that existed in his mind where he didn’t love you, so how could he answer?

“I don’t know,” he confesses sincerely.

“I wish you didn’t,” you breathe. “My father might still be alive.”

“That’s not your fault,” Taehyung says but you shake your head.

What if he died because of you? Because you ran away? The guilt eats away at you, and you know if Yoongi and Namjoon were honest from the beginning you could have accepted it, could have leaned on them for emotional support but now you felt a rift between yourselves that ran too deep to fix. Yet despite that distance that now existed between you, you had no one else to turn to.

“I don’t know what to do,” you sob, looking to them all for guidance. It was ironic that you were now technically queen, and you had no clue, no power, nothing.

They stay silent, solemn as they look to the ground and avoid your gaze.

“Princess there’s nothing we can do,” Jin says softly, not wanting to upset you but unable to feed any fantasy you had of fixing this.

“I can’t leave my people to Taeyeon,”

Yoongi stands in front of you, his eyes piercing into yours, with an anger you couldn’t place.

“They’re not your people anymore,” he says harshly, “you abdicated, this isn’t your problem.”

“Hyung,” Jimin warns him gently, he was pushing it.

You search his eyes, wondering why he was trying to hurt you further, until you realise there was fear he was trying to hide with his wrath.

“You knew when you left, eventually Baekhyun and that psycho bitch would be next in line,” Yoongi continues, ignoring Jimin. “You don’t want that life Y/n.”

A knock on the door snaps everyone’s attention to the sound, the tension not broken but they’re grateful for the pause.

Your new friend enters cautiously, eyes wandering around the room at everyone’s sullen expressions and the endless stream of tears pouring down your face. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what was going on.

“Nym, is everything okay?” Namjoon asks politely, not appreciating the disruption but knowing there wouldn’t be one without good reason.

“I… I did some digging,” Nym breathes nervously, wanting to bolt out of the room with the heaviness in the air but this was important. “The authorities already know something was unusual with the late king’s passing so-“

“You knew too?” The sting of betrayal had you interrupting before you could stop yourself. You were stuck on this island and you thought you could run to your friend’s place for help when the conversation was over but now you truly had nowhere to turn to. This paradise had turned into a prison, they weren’t going to let you leave.

Nym looks at you sadly, apologising silently hoping what was uncovered with a week of no sleep would earn your forgiveness.

“I thought hard about what I could do to help, and I think I have something.”

“What is it?” Hoseok asks.

“The authorities know there’s something odd about the King’s passing, but Prince Baekhyun and his wife closed any investigation, so I did some digging,” Nym explains, feeling the intensity of everyone’s stares, no one breathed. “I…”

She pauses, looking at you wondering whether it was right to just lay everything out on the table, but how can something so destructive be cushioned. Namjoon’s eyes glance towards the laptop in the computer genius’s arms.

“What did you find?” you barely whisper.

“She didn’t cover her tracks very well,” Nym replies, hesitating. “I don’t think you should see this.”

“Taehyung and Jimin, maybe your should take Y/n-”

“No,” you interrupt, the hell were they going to discuss this without you, that was what caused this fucking problem in the first place. “Show me.”

Your eyes don’t implore your friend, they demand authority and everyone in the room understands why you deserve your title, blood had nothing to do with it. The laptop is placed on the table, everyone’s eyes glued to the screen.

“The Imperial castle has two sets of security cameras, someone hacked into them to erase everything the night of your fathers death,” Nym explains. “It took a week but I recovered them.”

“How did he die?” Jin asks what you couldn't stomach asking.

“The official story is he mixed medication with alcohol and…” there's a pause for concern over your wellbeing, but you were done with walking around eggshells, they were all broken anyway.

“Say it,” you beg.

“He fell down the Castle stairs,” Nym says, watching your reaction cautiously, “there was a dent on his head that was unexplainable with the fall, but they think he might’ve bumped it on something given his state. They blamed the security camera malfunction on the storm.”

“And what actually happened?” Namjoon asks.

“Just play the footage Nym,” you say, it didn’t matter anyway, what was done was done, what you wanted was the truth.

After a deep breath, Nym presses play, the screen is grainy at first but clears. Your father comes into the frame, obviously heavily intoxicated with someone pushing him from behind. Whoever it was, wears a ski mask, looking around on edge. There’s a glint of metal in their hand that you can’t make out but it’s pressed against his back. After a stumble, he trips on the ground, and the masked figure tries to pull him up. They get into a tussle, your father grabbing the individual but only able to pull off the balaclava. Your breath catches as you recognise her, and now the object in her grasp. You jump when the pistol is slammed against his skull, and he’s pulled to his feet. He’s disorientated, clutching his head in his hands before he’s pushed to the stairs. You close your eyes, knowing what was about to happen, and you thought you could stomach it but you can’t. Arms wrap around you, someone strokes your hair. You bury your head into his chest, knowing it was Taehyung who had come to comfort you from the most abhorrent scene you ever had to witness.

“I’m so sorry Y/n,” Nym says sincerely as you muffle your cries.

—

They sit in silence once Nym leaves, the hours tick by with you sitting on the ottoman alone, too quiet, too stoic, too deep in thought. No one dares to break it first, no one dares to move, scared that the already fragile state of your being could shatter more than it already had. There was no coming back from this, that was the fear, no recovering.

The footage would be released with your permission, it would solve the issue of letting the psychopath sit in your throne, and yet there was another fear in the room. The proof of your father’s murder didn’t solve everything.

“I’m going back,” you say calmly.

“But-“

“You’re not coming with me,” you don’t mean it in a cruel way but it still breaks their hearts. “I have a role I was born to serve, a people who need a queen they can trust, not some relative who thought they were safe from ever having to wear the crown.”

“But we’re happy here,” Jimin says with wobbling lips, eyes and nose streaming.

“Why can’t we come with you?” Jungkook cries.

“Because for right or wrong reasons, the government will still have you tried for concealing my whereabouts without consulting the royal guards,” you state, hating the matter of fact but you couldn’t risk their safety. “Rules are rules, and no matter what story we spin, we still broke the law.”

“You’re going to leave us?” Hoseok asks in disbelief. “After everything.”

You bite your lip hard to stop your eyes watering but it doesn’t work. This would be the hardest thing you would do but it needed to be done.

“Not forever,” you promise, voice hoarse and heavy. “But until I can clear your name and guarantee your safety, this will have to be goodbye.”

“No,” Yoongi shakes his head, his arms crossed, his eyes closed as if that would protect him and stop everything.

“You and I both know what happens if you come back with me Yoongi,” you sniff. “If you get imprisoned in my country, the repercussions will be war and you know it.”

“What if we go back to our country?” Hoseok suggests, “Yoongi’s uncle might be able to liaise with little Queen’s government and clear our name.”

“There’s no guarantee that would work,” Namjoon sighs, massaging his head with his fingers as he tries to solve this impossible conundrum. Politics was more complicated than chess, it was like playing on a board 50 times the size with a thousand more unique pieces.

“Not to mention what Y/n’s government will force her to do in return for clearing our name,” Yoongi seethes, finally looking at you with a sad anger welling his eyes. “What if they ask you to marry Wang like your father proposed, to honour his wishes and get whatever deal he was offered by selling your hand in marriage.”

“That’s not how it works,” Tae says in disbelief, looking between you and Yoongi waiting for someone to reassure him you wouldn’t become a pawn for your country. You only look at him sadly in reply.

“One problem at a time please,” Jin mutters, catching Namjoon’s headache.

“Please don’t go back,” Jimin begs, the palm of his hands covering his eyes as he sobbed. This was so cruel, that they finally got to taste a life with you in their arms for only seconds before you were taken away.

“What if Princess married Hyung?” Jungkook suggests desperately, but the question makes you burst more into tears, your head tilted to the ceilings as you try to stop.

“She can’t get married without the permission of the courts,” Namjoon says solemnly, head hanging low. “And Yoongi Hyung’s uncle would never agree, there’s too much bad blood.”

“He barely agreed to let Yoongi become little queen’s guard,” Jin remembers out loud.

Yoongi shakes his head. He hated this, the fact his blood had a say in his life, ruled it without thought to what he wanted.

“If my father was king he would have allowed it,” Yoongi admits, for years he prayed his uncle would sire offspring so the crown would never fall on him, now he was second guessing his wishes.

You both look at eachother, another life flashing before your eyes, one so out of reach it was more of a fantasy than a dream. You still held a resentment for his actions, but the concept of leaving him overcast everything. You understood it to some extent but you truly didn’t know whether you could forgive him.

“It doesn’t matter,” you say, “right now it doesn’t change anything.”

He hangs his head in shame, knowing he really fucked up beyond repair.

Your attention shifts to Namjoon as he kneels in front of you, the equation in his head starting to solve itself. His eyes implore into yours, the rest of the group fade to the background when he takes your hands into his, his warm touch soothing you.

“You always said growing up royal was awful,” He starts cautiously, not wanting to cause any more problems or misunderstandings. “There were too many rules, too many restrictions, too many classes on how to behave.”

You nod as you take in his words, wondering where he was going with this.

“Your father pushed you away, there's a history of that you know,” he informs you. “The first heir is always treated differently, the spare is raised with less restraint, they say the prospect of raising a child who is set to replace you throughout time has caused parental rifts.”

“Where are you going with this Joonie?” you ask, he smiles apologetically, the tangent was somewhat an accident to avoid a harsh truth he needed to reveal.

“If you go back, your whole life is decided for you, Queen of a country or not, the government will set your alliance to someone they see fit, you will be expected to have two children, at least, and then they will be subjected to everything you did growing up.”

You stare at him. The thought had crossed your mind before but you always swore you would do better. The reason your father was so harsh on you was he couldn’t have a spare, your mother died too soon after your birth. You were it, he drilled that into you from day one.

“I can protect them,” you say weakly, tears starting again when Joon shakes his head in disagreement.

“I know you’ll fight Y/n, but it would be you against a hundred officials, you tried to fight your father and you couldn’t and every one of those officials were behind him in his decision.”

“Joon,” you cry, wanting him to stop. His hand squeezes yours, the other wiping away the teardrops gently trying to cushion his words.

“To the world, you are so privileged, and part of that is true, but they haven’t seen you suffer like we have, and I hate to think about how much you suffered before meeting us.”

You sniff, looking around the room at the rest of them looking so downtrodden, your eyes falling last on Yoongi who wipes his tears before they can fall. Yoongi, who understood you through experience, who you connected with the moment you met.

“You guys are the best thing that ever happened to me,” you tell them truthfully, “I don’t want to go back without you, but I don’t know what else I’m supposed to do.”

“It’s your decision little Queen,” Hoseok steps forward, smiling sadly but knowing how hard this was for you. “We’ll support you no matter what.”

The younger three glare at him for that comment, the others hanging their heads low as if in prayer.

“Whatever happens,” Jin agrees, “you always have our love and support Princess.”

“Please,” Yoongi begs quietly, his face scrunched in pain as he cries openly. The sight breaks your heart all over again, you really did hate seeing him in pain.

—

“After the tribulations and trials of our beloved royal family, I think the country can say this is a monumental event in history. Like treachery out of a mediaeval plot, today also marks the one month anniversary of the death of our late king, murdered by the wife of his nephew in a scheme for the crown.

Of course this plot was unveiled by his daughter, who at the time fled the country for her safety, but returned to ensure the safety of her people and bring Kim Taeyeon to justice.”

Sadness sat like stones in their stomachs, sinking slowly as your face graced the screen. You smile but they know it doesn’t reach your eyes, you wave to the crowd and the cameras before climbing into the carriage off to the citadel for your coronation.

“She looks so beautiful,” Taehyung mumbles, in awe of your figure in the red ruby gown. He blinks back tears, your absence didn’t get any easier for them, and seeing you on a screen just cemented the fact you were no longer here.

“I can’t believe she went back,” Jin whispers to himself but the others hear. They also hear his unsaid words hiding between the lines, you chose duty over them, the irony was hard to ignore. You always thought they would do the same.

“Of course the matter still remains about the young Queen’s foreign bodyguards who’s current whereabouts are unknown. There is massive divide in the country and government over the actions of Kim Namjoon and his men, one of whom is the current Prince of another nation. There are calls for their presence in the court, others are demanding they receive the medal of valour, and during a recent official press conference this is what our new Queen had to say…”

The screen shifts to you at a podium, cameras and lights flashing on your form as you look at your paper. They hadn’t seen the footage yet but the date stamp on the footage showed it was from a few days ago. Jungkook holds his breath, waiting for you to speak, it felt like a lifetime ago that he heard your voice.

“I understand there is a lot of speculation over my disappearance, and rumours that I was abducted by the men sworn to protect me.”

The youngest can’t help sniffling at the sound, he misses you and the feeling opened new excruciating wounds in him where he thought there was room for no more.

“I am here to clear any misunderstanding over the events of the last month or so. This accusation has put to question the character of the men my own father, the late king, employed and I can say one thing for certain with absolute conviction…”

You take a pause, looking up at the cameras as if staring into each of their souls. They can see the longing in your eyes, the tears forming that you blink away, a moment of weakness that you had to hide.

“Kim Namjoon, Kim Seokjin… Min Yoongi,” you take a breath as if his name pained you. “Jung Hoseok, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung and Jung Jungkook are the best men I have ever met, and they saved my life, and any call for their imprisonment is a crime against the crown and against me. I will do everything in my power to clear their names, and have them return. Our relations with King Min must remain peaceful, and I will not have my country tarnish their character and cause unrest between two nations.

My first act on the throne will be to resolve any remaining issues between our countries and draw up a new treaty with King Min, and I know my people will stand with me. Thank you.”

“She’s gonna do it,” Namjoon says quietly but proudly, smiling sadly when he sees the resolve on your face as you start answering press questions. “It’ll take some time but we’ll be by her side again.”

The room is quiet as they watch the footage change back to your coronation, all of them swallowing back tears with heavy hearts. They wished they could be standing there beside you, but one day they knew they would be again, no matter how long it took.

There are cheers coming from the crowds as the crown is placed on your head, you take a deep breath that they can all see, a smile to the people but your eyes are glassy.

“Our beautiful little Queen,” Jimin says in awe, tears slipping that he can’t help.

“I know she’ll be the best Queen in the world but I’m so anxious for her,” Jin breathes, his heart nervous for you.

“I wish we were there,” Hoseok whispers.

“She shouldn’t be there,” Yoongi says solemnly, standing. “She should be here with us.”

The others watch him walk out of the room, the prince had fallen into a deep stoic state, they just hope the hurt would fade with time. You carved out Yoongi’s soul the day you left, they could only pray he would find himself again.

—

You don’t know how you managed to give your new staff the slip, you had paid the driver off with enough money that he couldn’t refuse, despite what your advisors and the government officials tried to stop you from doing.

You knew it would bring you nothing but more grief, but you had to. You could already hear Namjoon berating you, it almost makes you smile before you remember why you’re here. You’re glad to see the tower is cold and depressing as promised, the criminals in here were all in treachery of the crown.

The guards all gave you worried looks as you demanded to see her, and there she stood in the last cell, trapped behind metal bars finally looking like the madness she held within. Her hair stood on end, a nest of knots that could never be undone, much like the chaos she caused in your life.

She sees you, and now you really do smile vindictively when her eyes travel down the length of your coronation gown before fixing themselves on the crown that sat where it belonged. She growls, her teeth baring in disgust and hate you never witnessed before.

She presses herself against the metal, reaching for you as if she could snatch all her wants within her grasp.

“You abdicated, that crown is mine!”

It was strange, confronting her like this. Almost surreal, the concept that this was the woman you befriended, the woman who failed in killing you, and the woman who murdered your father. There was no denying it, you saw it for yourself.

“Why couldn’t you just stay away?” she has the gall to sob, to truly cry over her loss as if she was the victim, and you knew then there was no hope for her, not that you would ever offer it to her in the first place.

You shake your head in disbelief, a humourless laugh before you take a step closer, wanting no one but her to hear your words.

“You know what?” You start, voice quiet but unwavering. “If you had just left everything well enough alone, I wouldn’t be here, if you didn’t let your greed become so heinous it cost a man his life, eventually you could’ve worn this crown and I would have let you.”

She screams, the sound making you want to slap some sense into her.

“But your actions have cost so many people in so many ways,” you say sadly, not an ounce of sympathy for her, but for yourself as selfish as that might sound. “I can see now there’s no saving you.”

“That crown is mine! THAT CROWN IS MINE!” She repeats it as if it would become true, getting louder and louder as you stare.

“You killed my father you psychotic bitch,” you spit, but there was no point to this, there would be no real justice for her actions, and she would never regret them. You wonder what closure you were trying to gain by being here, there was nothing you could do to make her feel your pain.

—

“Your majesty,” your new personal advisor bids your farewell. You had moved to the cold imperial castle, the official site for the monarch. The day had cost you all your energy and you could barely bring yourself to climb the stairs to your new chamber. You try to ignore the urge to glance towards where you know they found your father’s body, the hurt of losing him still fresh despite the strain of your relationship with him. You push away the thoughts to deal with another time.

Your jaw hurts from forcing your face to smile all day for the public eye, as you get ready for bed the deep empty void in your chest gets filled with pangs of sadness so intense you have to stop and breathe for a moment. You had kept it subdued all day for duty, but it came back with a vengeance.

You were now Queen, and completely utterly unfathomably alone. The thought grips you so painfully in the silenve you can’t help the sob that turns into a wail. There was no one here to comfort you, no one to hear you yet you still covered your cries with your hand, sinking pitifully to the floor.

The agony of leaving them didn’t fade for a day. You forgave Yoongi and Namjoon the second you returned to this awful cage, wanting to regret leaving them but there was nothing you could do about your decision now. You knew what Yoongi was trying to protect you from, there was no malice in his actions, just desperation that undid you both. You walked back into the life you tried to escape, and lost far more than you could ever explain.

In truth you didn’t know whether you would see them again, whether you would win the fight to clear their name. You would never give up, you couldn’t, the only thing that kept you going was getting them back, otherwise this was going to be a long lonely purgatory for you without them.

“Min Yoongi I forgive you,” you barely breathe out loud, needing him to hear you no matter how impossible. You knew him better than you knew yourself, knew he needed to hear those words for his own peace, or he would never forgive himself. You knew what state you left him in, and that one thing was your biggest regret.

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delugguk · 2 years

Text

all for you

PAIR: idol!hoseok x reader

GENRE: smut, stablished relationship, fluff if you squint.

WORD COUNT: 2.4k

WARNINGS: doggy, reverse cowgirl lowkey? making out, flustered hoseok because he's just soooo cuteㅠ

summary: you were so proud of your boyfriend leading his first mini solo concert so that's what you wanted to show him.

note: this is my first hoseok fic let's goooo~~ I also wanted to dedicate this fic to @sxtaep bc I know how much she likes hoseok *giggles*

"you were so good baby, I'm so proud of you."

your body is on top of his while you softly kiss on his slightly red skin.

hoseok has a very drunk-on-love smile plastered on his face. "thank you baby.." murmuring with his lidded eyes while his hands rest on your hips, touching you delicately.

as you continue kissing his hot skin, you move towards his neck. hoseok sighs at the nice feeling of your warm lips wrapping around it when he tilt his head back, immersing himself into this moment and while he's very much enjoying the way you're treating him right nowㅡthe reason why his skin is subtly painted by a red tone is because...

ever since you came here with jimin to keep him company, easing his very troublesome and nervous mind, your mouth hasn't stopped complimenting him or encouraging him to do what he loves the most. bringing so much confidence in him that he can't help but feel his body get all heated, shy and excited at the same time. causing this very light red tone on his honey skinㅡfeeling embarrased whenever you do.. it's not that he doesn't believe it, but hearing you talk so beautiful about him makes him feel so many things.

things he doesn't seem to control.

things that go beyond him.

making his heart beat like crazy. - feelings overflow with thoughts and he feels lucky. lucky because he's able to let himself have someone like you in his life, by his side. his teammates are also special, but the emotional and physical support is very different when it comes to it. having someone to feel like this, crave like this and miss like this? he could only miss and treat his friends by one certain extent. you on the other hand, were always available for him, he could fuck you the way he wanted, love you the way he wanted, touch you the way he wanted.. It was all so different.

he's sure his friends could even understand this unmatched sentiment.

being his pretty cheerleader had him thought he could get used to it, but boy.. was he wrong.

today has been the day were he thinks you've praised him the most.

giving him energy before his stage, you began complimenting him so much after the concert was done too. starting when he was getting readyㅡto backstage, even in the way back to the hotel and it's just...

galaxies formed into your eyes. you seemed to be so proud of him and while he has felt the big energy of the stage, he doesn't think he has ever seen you this happy for him. you always were, but something about this night told him that you were definitely his to take.

something so genuine in you..

he began to think about how much he adored the way you showed love to him. admiring the way you could tell and express your feelings without much trouble, that was something very much hard when it comes to himself. he genuily can't do it without automatically feeling embarrassed, so shy. so seeing the way you make it look so easy.. It actually gave him courage to open up a little more with himself. to not care at all and admit that he's good enough, that he's doing just fine. he recognizes all of these things about himself though, but it's just that it's a little difficult and different when it comes to hearing that outside of his mind.

dating you has made a big impact on him because he now could say it out loud. he has gotten better but still, his skin was always faster than him before he could even speak.

as your lips seemed addicted to his skin, there was just something about seeing your boyfriend like this that made you want to love him all over. he seemed so calm, maybe so.. yours. you can't quite tell what are the right words to what you mean but after seeing how extraordinary he could be on stage..

people singing to his solo songs after many years.. seeing how much he's loved and the way he reacted so well.. he did such an amazing job at carrying what is one of the biggest challenges he could have as a solo artist and you couldn't help but feel so happy and proud of him for marking this grand step. It truly was an experience and so you wanted to show him allㅡgenuily feeling like giving him back all of his efforts.

even though you could only give this little..

having him looking like this in front you now: vulnerable to your touch, moaning for you, needing you.. this. this is what you liked. of all his sides, this was just one of your favorites. the one were at the end of the day he's always back to you, loving you. fucking you. this.

so as your lips keep giving sensual pecks into his cheeks, neck, ears, jawline, chin, forehead.. and just every part of his face, you wanted to make him feel good. - hoseok actually loved when you did that too. It made him feel very much wanted and loved. just what he needs and likes.

with his post-concert adrenaline, you wanted him to release it all.. with you. you wanted to drain all of his energy into you, you're willing to absorb it all. - you know just how much that relaxed him and how much he enjoyed fucking you each time.

raw, slow.. it doesn't matter how it is. he always give it to you good and there's just something about the way he touched you that you adored so much.. - his hands being one of your favourite parts of his body, you place them around your ass.

hoseok's reactions were always good, very pleasing to see. the way he sighed everytime you did something he liked and how he closed his eyes.. when you kiss him, his heart shaped lips along with the little mole on his top lip seemed to always shine everytime you both took short breaks to breath and when he talked to you.. irresistible. that's all you can say.

when the kiss gets more intense, his touch starts matching his pace.

rougher.

needier.

and he's suddenly lifting your shirt gripping your skin into pulling you closer to him.

his hair makes you giggle when his face buries against your neck, only causing him to smile while he kiss on it.

you loved the way he looked with this hair though.. so nice, so hot..

"fucking love you.." hoseok whispers into your skin as you grind your hips into each other. "thank you so much for being here baby.." he moans before his lips are back into yours.

you don't say a word. enjoying your boyfriend's warmth and need to release his post-concert euphoria. he knows he could use you, he knows that you'll let him, but still.. hoseok always liked to hear you say it.

"you're letting me-"

"yes." you quickly affirm. he doesn't need to ask. you know he'll be fine by just thisㅡhad spoke about his many times before, just a simple answer can make its work.

he doesn't say anything else, only a fainted grin showing on his face when he's laying his back down the hotel room's bed. dick very hard below you as your lips draw a trail of wet sensual kisses along his naked chest and stomach. causing a moan from him the moment he lays his lidded eyes down on you.. you seem so hungry for him, so passionate into wanting to make him feel good..

then a brainstorm of questions quickly pass through his mind.

does he deserves you?

but then he remembers the many times you have told him the way he does just as much as you deserve him. because you were made for each other, because you both have a great connection, because nobody could ever match your energy.. and it was all true. he remembers and he believes that so much. the amount of sense of stability and safety you provide him is beyond what he can ever imagine when it comes to a relationship like yours. he don't think he could ever escape this feeling. not if it's with you.

taking his bare dick with your hand, you give him a gentle squeeze followed by your lips wrapping against his tip.

"ah.." hoseok sighs. "ffuck I wanted this.." eyes slowly closing as his head hits his pillow after you start bopping your mouth into his length. "yeah.. I wanted this." whispering to himself as your walls clench around nothing.

something about him cursing in a lower and breathy tone that causes that much effect in you..

his hand goes down your hair, gently and when he glances at you coating his dick so well with your saliva he can't help but ask,

"ffucking hot." exhaling, eyes gone. "don't you want to bounce on my dick?" with the sexiest grin you could ever witness.

your mouth pops out of his length as you squeeze your legs and bite your lips. "I'll like to."

"then what the fuck are you waiting for?"

you inmediately froze at his words, before you remember how needy and rude he could getㅡbut that's just.. so hot of him, in your opinion.. so you give him doe eyes as you crawl on him and his dick is so fucking hard.. very much erect and twitching.. suddenly the thought of you giving yourself for him to use crossed your mind.

It'll be a good alternative way into giving him what he wants, no?

so, moving quickly you make yourself position into your hands and knees. arching your back exposing your ass to him. "fuck me like this."

hoseok gasps. you know how much he loves this.

"use me." you murmur as your walls clench. gosh, you were needing him very badly.

hoseok grunts. he notices. "ha.." sighing. "what will I do with you.." lifting himself off the bed to get close to you, palming your ass as one hand pumps his very hot length. "making me nuts.."

spank!

and you jump at the sudden touch. walls clenching even more.. hoseok bites his lips into a smile and his face looks almost too devilish when you glance at him. you don't think you've seen him be this sexy..

"If I fuck you now.. I will go hard, baby.." he states while his dick brushes against your wet folds, coating him just well. "hm?" he takes his face next to your neck, leaving hot sensual pecks.

your nipples were so hard.. good thing he toys with them.

"are you okay with that?" he whispers into your ear while one of his hands start caressing your clit.

"eunng" you moan, rolling your hips back and forth into his dick.

"hm?" he smirks against your hair.

"y-yes."

"mhm." it's all he says, his warmth no longer against your face.

when goes back to his old position, the moment he enters you has you looking for air. he didn't only feel good but the way he could easily introduce himself into you was what surprised and turned you on at the same time. so you were that wet huh?

It shouldn't be something to be so shocked about because you were always like this with him but.. you still get surprised at just how much. you know? It's like you can feel it but to actually see it.. yeah, it's a whole other feeling.

"fucking hell," he moans the moment you slowly start fucking yourself back into him. "..as expected." he grabs your hips with both hands. "fucking needy." when he starts thrusting into you, hard.

his thrusts start getting more messy by the minute, you both are moaning so much even thought the vocalizations aren't as much noisy. it's more of you panting, hissing and exhaling rather than big crying noises, somehow trying to keep it low but it's because you're both too immerse into this type of pleasure, it feels different and it's so hot.

hoseok's dick is glistening so much, he actually loved the wet noises both your genitals were making. - when he seats down, you start bouncing your ass into his dick without facing him. all he had was this incredible view of your ass covering his length from time to time that once you cummed, he's inmediately thrusting up at you so fast that when he fills you up with his cum, he takes his time to see the way your little pussy hole squeezes out all of your cum and his, mixed back onto his length. the sight being too much that he even collects it with his tip and pushes back into you, pushing some little more back and forth as you also move with him. enjoying that little of overstimulation.

when you're all showered and about to sleep, you say to him. "I'm so proud of you." cuddling into his arms.

hoseok chuckles. "you've already say that, baby." caressing your hair.

"I know, but I truly mean it, babe."

eyes looking at his and his lips are so close to yours, you take the opportunity to leave a peck on it.

and hoseok's heart flutter.

"I love you so much. do you know?" he's serious as his arms squeeze your body hard but soft enough into his.

"I do." you respond, and despite you both serious faces, there's nothing more that speaks louder than both of your eyes.. filled with so much adoration and love, hoseok feels the need to remind you all over again how grateful he is for you to be here.

"the best in the whole world. I'm so glad to have you here, with me." he faintly smiles as his eyes slowly close given to him being sleepy, but that doesn't stop him from giving you one last forehead kiss for the night.

you smile back at him even though he clearly can't see.

burying your face into his chest, you feel like the luckiest person in the world. having him in your arms, even though you're (technically) the one being on his right now, you couldn't help but feel so happy.

happy that he saw all the support.

happy to know that this was all for him and him only.. yeah, this was a big step for him and for the way you and jimin hyped all this thing up.. you see it to be very hard to get over with and so then, you hoped for much more days like these to come..

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ilikemesometaetaes · 9 months

Text

•••> Author: @ilikemesometaetaes

•••> Summary: Some people don’t actually like seeing their exes upset. Do you?

•••> Pairing(s): Hoseok / Female Reader (ft. Choi Yeonjun)

•••> Word Count: 16.57k [Unedited]

•••> Rating: 18+

•••> Warnings: angst, cussing, mentioned gunshot wound/forced discharge due to physical handicap, alcohol use, jealousy, unrequited feelings, engagement cancellation, mild toxicity if you know how to read red flags, rejection, arguing, loss of feelings, eventual smut, You know the drill. If you don’t want to read, don’t. If you’re under 18, don’t.

PART ONE -> PART TWO

His loud guffaw is what drags your attention to him in the first place.

It isn’t his black sequin jacket; it’s not his flame orange hair; it’s not the gold ring that wraps around his pinky.

It’s his god-damned laugh.

He’s standing there with his friends, laughing at something that Jimin has just said, when you notice him.

Your ex-fiancé.

Your fingers clutch a little bit tighter around your flute of champagne as soon as you take Hoseok in. It’s been months since you’ve seen him. An awful, lonely stretch that has been a slow process to use as healing. Despite the time you’ve had, you feel your blood boil the more you stare at his irritatingly handsome face.

Because it isn’t fair. He shouldn’t be smiling all brightly like that. He shouldn’t be happy or joyful or unreservedly calm like he always was. He shouldn’t be the same old Hoseok that you grew to fall in love with at one point in your life.

Is that toxicity you sense? Some red flags in your personality? Meh. Perhaps.

“I promise that it’s not you; it’s me.”

As you stare at the way he raises his glass to his lips and tips his head back to take a sip of his own champagne, you can’t help but remember the phrase. The downpour on your car lightened to make it that much more deafening.

“It’s you?” you ask him. “How in the hell is it you? I’m the one who’s busy. I can make more time for us, Hobi.”

The man in the driver’s seat chuckles dryly and leans forward to place his forehead against the steering wheel, his black hair falling forward with the motion. “But that’s not the problem, Y/N. I don’t want you to make more time for us. You’re doing so well now and I know that you have the promotion in a few months. I can’t get in the way of that.”

You sit back in your chair and stare at him, holding his ring to your chest. It feels so heavy in your grasp that you think it could pierce through the floor of the car and drop to the wet pavement below.

“Hoseok,” Your voice is a broken whisper whilst the tears collect in your eyes, the dread of loss rearing its ugly head to gaze upon you. “You know that you mean more to me than anything I’ve ever known. I can drop everything and I- I can be better. Please,” you beg. “Please don’t do this.”

“But I don’t want to be the reason that you throw your life away. I can’t be that person that just…” He takes a breath and throws his hands up in exasperation. “… accepts others putting themselves down for me. I’m sorry. I just can’t do this anymore.”

He starts your car without waiting for your response and your desperate mind pushes you to reach out and grab onto his arm to try and stop him from running away. The rain continues to patter against the roof and windshield.

“I don’t know what you want me to do. This-” you cut yourself off for a moment and look down, searching for the words to say in the reflection of the street light on the shifter. “-it can’t end like this. Tell me what to do to make it right.”

Hoseok clutches the steering wheel tightly and shuts his eyes, exhaling with a low rumble in his chest.

“I’m not the one you should be doing things for, Y/N. You should be making decisions for yourself and doing things because you want to do them- not because I want you to.” He opens his eyes and turns his head away from you to stare out the window.

“I don’t want your world to revolve around me.”

The man you watch lowers his glass to the table that he leans on and continues to listen intently to what Taehyung has to say. You assume the younger one is going on about data and stocks with how serious the conversation became in the short span of a few moments. The smile that was on Hoseok’s face is nowhere to be seen now.

He looks a bit stern from the way he purses his lips and furrows an eyebrow. When it seems that Taehyung says something that boggles his mind, he cuts in to add his piece. He was never one to just be quiet and truly listen, you think spitefully.

“Y/N!”

Petty Officer Blake calls your name, drawing you away from the sight of your ex and back to his uniformed arm slung casually over your shoulders. The weight of his bicep presses the collar of your own uniform into the back of your neck even further and makes for a scratchy sensation that you put up with only because it’s your friend who’s close to you.

“What?” you ask, turning your head to look at him. His gelled hair has fallen into his forehead a little and begun to break uniform regulation, but you don’t bring yourself to care. The formal portion of the evening ended ten minutes ago and no one cares if a few hairs are out of place.

“I get that we’re relaxed now, but you’d kill me for not reminding you. I asked if you submitted the muster report to Ensign Trias.”

You clear your throat and speak confidently despite your inner turmoil, a skill you learned during your grueling weeks at boot camp.

“I did. She’ll be happy to know that we’re all present or accounted for.”

Blake agrees with a grin. “Yes, she will.”

With a final swig, you finish your champagne and place it on the table with thoughts of Hoseok creeping back into your skull. Why is he here?

You know the answer, though. Taehyung and Jungkook obviously invited him. Your shipmates are the reason you’d met Hoseok in the first place. Now that you’re back from your underway at your home port for the first time since early November, they obviously thought to reunite the group for the ship’s New Year’s ball.

Everyone in your group of friends left home, although it was only you, Taehyung, and Jungkook who decided to enlist to leave. The three of you met at boot camp fresh out of high school. Looking back on it, it feels like a lifetime ago.

The three of you are all chiefs now, years and years of service in the military under your belts, and you couldn’t have been happier when you found out that the both of them would be deployed on your ship for the next eight months.

On your first deployment as a young and inexperienced sailor, Taehyung was the only face you recognized amongst the sea of them aboard your ship. His friendship was what made you begin to actually enjoy the military in the first place. Long hours of watch and constant maintenance was draining, so when Taehyung invited you to go to a bar he was familiar with once you pulled into port again, you were all for it.

Hoseok was the first amongst his friends that you’d met. He lived in the local area that you were ported in and you’d instantly grown intrigued by him when you found out he was also from your hometown.

He sipped on bourbon and passionately took part in the conversation alongside Jungkook, who was completing a shore tour at the same base, while you watched him quietly. Being a naturally brave person with military confidence instilled in your psyche, you were the one to speak first when he wasn’t speaking with the others.

“What’s your rate?”

The man looks up from his glass and focuses on you with wide eyes whilst the rest of the table continues the conversation without him. He’s seemingly shocked that you’re speaking to him in the middle of their banter. After a beat of realization, he replies.

“Oh- um. I’m not in the military.”

You lean against the table your group is sitting at and place your chin onto your fist with a small smile. “You’re not? You definitely have the hair.”

He thoughtfully raises his hand up and strokes the side of his head where his fade tapers at his ear. “I’m not. I just like the style.”

“Me too,” you agree, giving him a neutrally flirtatious compliment. When he doesn’t speak again, you turn your eyes back to the center of the tables’ attention and pick up on the conversation between Taehyung, Jungkook, and their friend, Jimin.

“I told you that we were going to be home for St. Patrick’s Day. I planned ahead so that we could go to the Irish Channel and celebrate- and now you’re bailing on us?” Jimin is offended by the fact that Taehyung can’t make it to the holiday party he planned. That much is obvious by the way his eyebrows turn up in disbelief and he holds a hand to his chest.

“ ‘s not my fault,” Taehyung replies through a mouthful of fries. “Blame the powerful men who decide our fate by getting into fights with each other. Blame the system.”

Jimin sighs and puts his face into his hands. “Fucking hell.”

Jungkook grumbles to himself lowly, inaudible. With a snap of his neck, Jimin turns to him. “What?”

The younger one pipes up. “I won’t be able to make it either.”

“Fuck, guys!” Jimin exclaims. “What the hell happened to us? We used to hang out all the time!”

“Life happened, man.” Hoseok butts into the conversation and you turn to him to find that he’s staring down into his empty glass. “We grew up.”

You just stare at him in awe.

“Did you see that dude with the orange hair?” Blake leans into you to whisper the question. You don’t respond even though a quiet voice inside you bites back that Hoseok’s hair is actually flame orange, not just orange. “Someone’s definitely going to say something to him. This is a military event for fuck’s sake.”

Blake bringing up Hoseok’s presence makes the the walls of the large room feel like they’re closing in on you. Like the world is slowly becoming smaller. Blake is so unaware of the torment that you’ve suffered because of the man that’s he’s mentioned, but you can’t explain the heartbreak to him. You can’t explain the life that never was nor the dreams that were lost. Suddenly, it’s difficult for you to breathe.

The chair legs scrape against the floor as you stand from your seat. Consequently, Blake’s arm falls from around your neck and he looks up at you with questioning eyes at the abrupt action.

“Going to the bathroom. I’ll be back,” you mumble. You can’t bring yourself to be confident with the negativity that has filled your mind since you first noticed Hoseok.

“Want me to come with?”

You look at him with furrowed eyebrows when you realize what he’s just asked you and he puts his hands up in mock surrender. “Kidding! I’m kidding.”

You roll your eyes and push in your chair, readjusting your dress jacket draped over the back so that it doesn’t fall off when you let go of it.

Your steps are slow as you make your way to the corner of the room where the bathrooms are and it’s in your steps that you take the time to think about the past. Are you the one running this time? The more you ponder over your retreat from the room, the more you criticize yourself for doing the same thing that Hoseok did all that time ago.

“Hey Y/N,” A voice stops you in your path. “Ready for the new year?”

Laci.

Stiffly, you turn to face the woman and her lips are pulled into a knowing smile by the time your eyes reach her face.

Smug bitch.

The woman’s smile is patronizing as she regards you, her lengthy blue dress swaying when she leans onto one foot and places a hand on her hip. It fits her well, her curves filling it to perfection in a way that makes her model-esque lifestyle obvious. She doesn’t spend her time sweating over machinery or working out to prepare for fitness tests like you do. Instead, she diets and pays to shape her body in the way that she wants it. To your dismay, she’s utterly perfect.

On the outside.

“Hey there, Laci. You look beautiful as always.” You manage to mumble through the annoyance.

“Oh, thank you!” She smiles even wider. “Took me two hours to make everything look right. The dress is a little itchy, though.”

You try to keep your voice level with hers, a byproduct of your resentment for the woman combined with your need to appear kind. “I love the dress. It suits you.”

“You do? Hobi told me the same when he picked it out, although I don’t know if it’s really my style…”

Ouch.

You hold back the instant desire to clock her in the jaw because you are way above the notion of physically assaulting someone. Despite your handle on your emotions, you still loathe her.

Never, in any of the conversations you’ve had with her, has she missed an opportunity to rub in your face that her and Hoseok are dating. She has a knack for being able to drag your attention to something he’s bought her without saying so at first so that she can give you the time to unknowingly compliment it. It irritates the fuck out of you because she knows she does it. Laci parades her absolute prize of a boyfriend in front of you because she loves knowing that he loves her and not you.

“I see,” you quip, turning to begin leaving so that the conversation can conclude. “Regardless, you look great.”

“Thanks,” She giggles in her flattery, but there’s a touch of poison in the soft sound. “I feel so bad for you. You never get to dress up and look pretty.”

You take the hit and purse your lips at the offending remark. Frankly, you don’t feel confident dressed in anything but your uniform now. It’s second nature since you hardly find the time to be out of it these days.

“Yeah,” You breathe evenly whilst you turn away and begin stepping off. “It’s too bad.”

“Y/N?”

Your feet freeze mid-stride. Your heart skips a beat.

“It’s good to see you.”

Slowly, you turn back to face where Laci stands and immediately hold your breath at the sight before you.

And suddenly, it’s as if he just ended things with you yesterday.

Hoseok stands, his arm sliding around Laci’s waist, as she leans into his touch and presses her nose into the side of his neck with a smile. The sight alone makes you jealous- seeing him with another woman is heartbreaking- and you can’t help the acidic touch of spite beginning to taint your mind. Despite the pain the sight of him causes, you still know in your heart that that should be you.

Your heart pounds woefully for him. You miss him so fucking much and you passionately hate him simultaneously, but his attention on you makes your chest cave in under the weight of it. Meeting his eyes takes you back to the first time he looked at your own, He looks divine- just like he did before.

“Good to see you too, Hoseok.”

You hardly ever called him by his full name when you were together. The only times you did were when the two of you were talking about something serious. After your failed engagement more than three years prior, his nickname never got another chance to leave your lips.

“How’s everything?”

You close your eyes for a moment, taking a cautious breath to calm yourself before you answer his deep voice, and then open them again to find his left eyebrow taking on the ever-familiar position of concern for you.

“It’s alright.” Your voice seems to be lost somewhere in the midst of the pain that accompanies his appearance. “I’m making an announcement later on.”

“Is that so?” Hoseok smiles softly while he allows Laci to thread her fingers into his. “How late is later?”

“In about an hour. Don’t want it to get in the way of the countdown.”

You know the announcement won’t matter to him; it’s too late for him to change his mind. Him and Laci have been together far too long for him to come back to you.

The two of you broke up for a good reason- you’ll give him that. He had every right to feel the way he did because you didn’t give him the time and attention that he needed.

You regret many things in your life. No matter how much you’ve tried to live with no regrets, the blasted things always manage to creep back in and remind you of all the mistakes you’ve made throughout the years. The wrong decision that had bad results, the wrong statement that upset someone, the wrong timing of a poorly delivered joke; many of your past actions bother you in your day-to-day life.

Being unable to keep Jung Hoseok by your side is the worst of them all.

“Well, we definitely look forward to your announcement! I think Hoseok and I are going to see if we can get a few moments to ourselves before the fun starts.”

You nod your head only once as Laci smirks at you. Hoseok offers a tight-lipped smile in place of words and it’s in this moment that you finally accept that your once-fiancé has fully moved on from you. He doesn’t even spare you another glance before he turns around with Laci wedged under his arm.

The tear in your eye fights to come through to the corner, but you lightly snort to choke it back down and prevent yourself from crying at the sight of Hoseok turning his back on you.

Again.

Splash some water on your face. Take a deep breath. Don't let yourself cry over him again. You chant the words in your mind like a mantra as you stare into the mirror in the bathroom. The water you just splashed onto your face drips off of your chin.

The music continues to play in the dining hall without you. Although it's muffled, it serves as the perfect reminder that peoples' lives will continue to go on without you. You lean against the sink even harder with the weight of the statement bearing down on your shoulders.

A sharp knock on the door follows shortly after you lean your face into the sink again, prompting you to whip your head around to face the sound.

"Y/N?" Blake. "You in there?"

"Shit." You curse lowly while you fumble for some paper towels to press against your wet skin. After giving yourself a final glance and concluding that you still look like a wreck, you turn to the door and open it to step out.

"What's up?” You plaster a smile on your face as you greet his curiously concerned blue eyes.

"The captain's looking for you." His eyebrows are furrowed and the worry lines in his forehead are deeper than usual. When you move to step around him and avoid that conversation, he presses a hand to your shoulder to stop you. "Are you okay? What's going on?'

You sigh and look away from him to hide your predicament- one he is completely oblivious to. "Nothing. Don’t worry about it."

“Why? There’s obviously something wrong. We agreed we’d be transparent with each other.” He grabs onto your hand and brushes his thumb over the top. “Talk to me.”

Suddenly, you become acutely aware of the presence by the end of the hall where it turns to open up into the dining room. When you glance over Blake’s shoulder towards the movement, you find a flash of flame orange hair. With the revelation of who stands there, watching you, you are propositioned with two options.

On one hand, you could reciprocate Blake’s support and give in to his comfort like you want to, although it would appear much differently to Hoseok who watches from afar and only sees the action of Blake holding your hand. Perception is reality.

On the other hand, you could give your coworker and friend the cold shoulder to display to Hoseok that you are, after all this time, by your lonesome. Being alone like the way he left you would undoubtedly display how big of an emotional crater he left in your soul.

Maybe it would make him feel bad. You want him to feel bad. At least it’d mean he feels something for you.

Although you know you would have gone through with the second option two or three years ago- when you were freshly bitter from the split- your facade has hardened into a detached permanence since then. Time has not done you well.

You look up to Blake then, eyes beaming with the ache of tears that beg to break through, and smile into his concern as carelessly as possible so that you can brush off the emotion. Gently, you take his hand.

“I’m fine. Just a little wound up is all.”

The concern and worry seem to disappear from his face all at once as he smiles a toothy grin. “Announcement making you nervous?”

“Something like that,” you chide.

When you get the chance to peek over your friend’s shoulder again, Hoseok is gone. Damn. It was too easy to get him away. You can't help but wonder if you made the right decision because of how your heart slightly twists at the thought that maybe- just maybe- your ex-fiance still has feelings for you. You brush off the hope just as soon as it arrives.

With a knowing smirk, Blake backs away and swings his arm out in the direction of the ballroom, beckoning you to return to it. "Ladies first."

You giggle and begin walking. "How kind of you, sailor."

"Just trying to look chivalrous, miss." He smiles.

You maintain your smile as you walk back into the ballroom, searching for your captain while you avoid anything relatively close to the shade of orange you know to be somewhere on the dance floor.

You find your captain with a glass in his hand and the executive officer below his other arm, laughing with rosy cheeks at something one of the department heads has just said to the two of them.

"Gentlemen," you address them. "I hope you’ve been having a good evening. Captain? You sent for me?”

“Y/L/N!” He looks at you and smiles, the crinkles by his eyes deepening. “Good to see you! Is everything in order for your announcement?”

You nod as you respond to him. "Yessir. The DJ is ready."

“Good, good. Carry it out whenever you're ready, Chief."

Your eyes are cast to the floor in preparation of what you will be speaking into reality. "Aye aye, sir."

Time begins to slow as you make your trek over to the DJ’s table to ask for the microphone. Your legs struggle to move at a normal speed and your mind is attempting to escape all of the memories that surface. Stretched across a thousand agonizing moments, you prepare to move on from this chapter of your life while it flashes before your very eyes.

Robotically, you nod at the DJ who smiles and then hands you the mic, knowing very well what you are about to tell the crowd of people. It feels like you are separated from your body, but your tight grip on the cool metal grounds you and keeps your feet moving to the podium.

Once you come to a standstill and face the crowd, the DJ follows the movement of you bringing the mic to your mouth and lowers the music when you clear your throat.

"May I have everyone's attention, please?"

As expected from a military event, the people quiet themselves particularly fast.

You struggle to breathe for a moment, the weight of your announcement making the lump of nervousness in your throat that much more burdensome to breathe around. As the silence becomes deafening like the night it did in your car, you swallow thickly.

"I'm..." You trail off for a brief second. "I'm sure you all have heard that I will be making an announcement tonight and some of you were probably wondering what it will be."

The sailors of your division are, without surprise, gathered together in a large group. They cheer from the side of the dance floor closest to the bar. No surprise there.

"Hell yeah, Senior Chief!" You recognize GM2 Green’s chirpy voice and internally cringe at the rank she’s just called you. It’s the next rank above your own. The one you should be promoting to.

LPO Promise yells right after her, his deep voice bellowing amongst the hoots and hollers. "Get that promo, girl!"

Blake stands amongst them and smiles sadly at you because he is the only one, besides your captain and division officer, who knows what your announcement is.

Your smile is bittersweet as you regard your division’s support because- as much as you appreciate how happy they are for you- they are dead wrong.

Because you won't be promoting.

"Well, after a lot of thought and tons of paperwork, I can finally deliver my announcement with no going back."

You wince as you see your division grab onto each other with excitement.

"It’s with a heavy heart and so much appreciation to everyone aboard the Hybe that l inform you all that I have been cleared to be discharged at the beginning of February."

The room goes awfully silent before it erupts with congratulatory applause.

And suddenly, your eyes find the flame orange hair in the sea of natural colors.

Hoseok’s face is expressionless as you look at him. You know that he understands what this means for you and what it would have meant if he had just been a little more patient with your love for your work. If he had just waited three more fucking years, the two of you could have been together the way you both wanted.

But what you want is never in your cards. You don’t want to retire; you don’t want to leave your life in the Navy behind.

You don’t want to be physically handicapped.

But you are.

The gunshot wound you took to your shoulder two years ago still burns into your skin as you clench feeling back into your fingers. With so much nerve damage caused by the hollow point of the 9mm bullet that was shot into your axillary nerve, you lost feeling in your shoulder and a good portion of your arm.

Unfortunately, it served as the perfect basis for the Navy to discharge you. You have barely more than two months to find another occupation to make a living.

The trigger-happy dumbass who decided to load his magazine with the unapproved ammunition had accidentally fired it while you were still on range. Although he claimed that his pistol misfired after the ceasefire was called, you knew the guy- he was dangerous and careless when it came to gun safety and it resulted in your injury. Mishandling a deadly weapon will always have its consequences.

The callous sailor got his court martial and dishonorable discharge way before the Navy first informed you of your forced separation.

Thankfully, the people of your division were there with you during your recovery and supported you through the process of rehabilitating the damage. What none of you knew was that the Navy was tracking your injury the entire time and was able to disqualify you because of your permanent physical handicap. No matter how much you want to cry out that it’s not fair, you wouldn’t be able to kid yourself

Life isn't fair, but the decision to let you go is fair. Besides, how could you protect the people you love when you're broken?

You let your eyes leave Hoseok to look at your division who are already approaching the podium with obvious tears in their eyes. You’re surprised to find that you also have tears of your own- tears that were on the verge because of Hoseok and carried out by losing yet another ones- even if your contribution is minuscule- is what drives you in your career. To be retiring after only ten years of service utterly kills you when you think back on how long you planned to stay in upon your enlistment at such a young age.

The Navy is your life. And now? You have to let it go.

“Thank you to everyone- CO, XO, CMC, the entire crew- for being a great team during my last tour.”

The lump in your throat becomes monstrous as your tears stream down your cheeks and your heart breaks. Your voice is much too wobbly to continue for much longer. “It’s been a pleasure serving with you all and I can’t wait to see what you are able to do to carry out our mission towards a better future.” Sniff. “Bora haewa, sailors. May you continue to gain the respect that you all deserve. I wish you fair winds and following seas.”

With that, you leave the podium and return the mic to the DJ who was obviously moved by your speech and now exhibits shiny eyes that he attempts to blink away. Your own tears continue to run down your skin as you repeatedly wipe them off.

You only have two months to get your new life in line and say goodbye to this one yet you merely want to stand watch on the Hybe one more time and joke around with your division. Simpler times you took for granted are now so precious that you find yourself already missing the life even though you will be in for a few more weeks.

“Chief,” Green cries and throws herself on you as leave the DJ table. “Why didn’t you tell us you were leaving us?”

“Good for you.” You could recognize Isom’s drearily monotone voice anywhere even as you dig your face into Green’s shoulder. “You’re finally getting out of this hellhole.”

“Shut your mouth, Isom.” Promise growls. “We don’t need that negativity here. You can obviously tell this means a lot to her.”

“Whatever.” The man replies, rolling his eyes as he almost painfully reaches his hand out to give your shoulder a few pats. “Congratulations.”

Promise replaces the older sailor’s hand with his own, letting his fingers linger to squeeze in comfort. “Congrats on the retirement, Chief. I’m excited to see where your new life takes you.”

“Thanks guys.” You sniffle. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner but it was a pretty quick process that was really difficult for me to keep up with.”

"No, we get it." Promise says. Green emits a small 'mhm' as she raises a hand and wipes her nose with the back of it. You can't bear to go without hugging her small frame even more as you see that the white in her eyes has turned red. Promise faces her. “It’ll be good for her."

“And it's time for her to move on." You hear Blake walk up from behind the two of you as he adds on to what Promise has said and it is then that you decide to release Green so that you can turn to him. He smiles at you softly, expectantly, and you return the expression with one of your own, accompanied with outstretched arms.

The hug with him is warm and caring, a rare occurrence for him to be physically affectionate, yet it is because of the few drinks he's had that he decides to communicate his care for you- for once.

People filter to you as the minutes go by so that they can give you their congratulations or upset speeches about why retirement is the end of the road. As saddening as it is to think about what you should do after retirement with your injury, you don't blame your shipmates for bringing it up because they have no idea why you're retiring. They probably think it's easy for veterans to get jobs since they’re so much younger than you.

Your harsh reality is that there aren't many places who would hire a physically disabled person, as awful as it is. In your harsh reality, your veteran status nor your disability status will help much.

The clock at the head table- conveniently placed by the Officer-In-Charge of the event- reads 23:17. Forty-three minutes until midnight and the new year. Should you enter the new year wasted? Or should you just remain sober and cry it out as you truly lose everything you have ever loved?

Blake ensures that you have at least a few drinks in your system before the clock reads 23:45. He was never one to pass up free booze and neither were you, so why would you change that pattern for the new year?

By the time everyone gets settled together, it’s 23:52. You don’t find Hoseok anywhere- that goes without saying that you can’t seem to find Blake nor your other shipmates either. As far as a New Years’ kiss is from your mind, you hope for the bare minimum of someone you care for at least standing next to you. Anything else would just be the icing on the cake.

You search around for a few minutes, slowly feeling the loneliness you’ve felt for years creep into your skull with such adamant ferocity that you merely stand in the back of the crowd and admit your defeat with a large gulp of the drink in your hand. So far, the alcohol you hold and the one before it have provided you with the buzz that stirs in your veins.

At least you feel something.

Suddenly, you spot Blake in the crowd. It's not surprising that he has a woman under his arm- Blake is incredibly good looking- but it's surprising that the woman who wraps her arm around his waist is none other than Green. The sight makes you wonder when that happened.

23:58. Two minutes until the New Year.

You glance down at the drink in your hand and swirl the contents of it with intentions of downing it once the clock reads 00:00.

"Y/N!”

You look up at Blake and Green with a jump of surprise and realize that they are beckoning you over to them.

"Get over here!' Green yells with a rapidly-curling arm.

You make your way over to them quickly, joy coursing through every cell in your body because of the people you care about. It's a small thing that brings you happiness- simply being around your loved ones. When you come to stand next to Blake, you take a look at the clock again.

23:59.

Blake holds Green tighter to his side. You simply hold your drink a little tighter between your fingers.

The sailors of the Hybe begin chanting when it hits the thirty-second mark. In comfortable delight next to the two people who hold most of your heart, you chant with them and look around at the cheering crowd in utter enjoyment.

At six seconds, your voice dies before you can make any more sound. You can't seem to find any air to take into your lungs as you spot orange hair and brown eyes that hold rays of sunlight within them.

He smiles down at her with the light of a thousand glowing stars as she cups his jaw and smiles up at him.

“Three!”

The world slows.

“Two!”

His orange hair drapes onto her forehead as they both lean into eachother.

“One!”

He pulls her more tightly to him by her waist and closes his eyes.

“Happy New Year!”

Your heart breaks all over again as they kiss.

The fanfare of the New Year falls on your deaf ears because all you can seem to process is the constant string of deafening words in your head.

That should be me. That should be me. That should be me.

It's hard to know how, but you manage to break away from Blake and Green, who kiss with such intensity that you have to gasp for your own air. They’re so preoccupied with each other that they don't see the tears in your eyes.

The look on Hoseok’s face was all too familiar. It brings back distant memories you thought you had buried as you gulp down the last of your drink and make a beeline for the door. You need to leave before you make a fool out of yourself.

It's not specifically the kiss that is burned into your skull. The kiss stirs your envy and jealousy in a way that you are used to because of Laci's constant jabs. It stings, but you are familiar with it.

The thing you are not particularly familiar with is the sensation that came before the kiss. This is the sensation that forces you to leave the party through the closest exit.

The feeling is one of acceptance, although you're not sure of how far-reaching the damage is. It's heartbreak and it's happiness all in one emotion yet you cannot place a word on it at all because you've never quite felt it in the volume that you feel it now.

You're heartbroken because you mourn what you've lost with Jung Hoseok. You weep for what could have been yet never was and never will be.

And the never will be is also what you are happy about.

You are happy that the world will continue to be blessed by his smile of ardor. Even though the smile on his lips and the wonderful shine in his eyes are no longer meant for you, it's the fact that he will continue to give it to someone who has truly made him feel the way he used to make you feel. It's because of your never will be that Jung Hoseok has been given what you were too blind to give up- everything.

The look that Hoseok gave Laci is one that would make even a stranger proud of the beautiful things that he has accomplished. The smile of adoration and love is a look you know all too well. It's as familiar as it is heartbreaking.

You remember when he used to look at you like that.

Snow falls steadily on the sidewalk as you order an Uber. You receive a text from Blake that asks where you are, yet you can only seem to ask him to grab your dress jacket as a response.

Don't forget we have drills on Monday is all he says and you huff out a shaky breath of gratitude for how well he knows you. He knows that you need space and you manage to elicit a small smile past your cascading tears.

The Uber arrives soon after you give up on looking at your phone and when you manage to slide into the backseat of it, slightly buzzed, your body slumps into the seat all the way back to your apartment because of how physically and emotionally drained you feel.

You spend the rest of the night in your room, reminiscing about your time with Hoseok.

He asked for you to be his girlfriend in the parking lot that was in front of your ship. The sun was just beginning to set on the horizon of the bay it was ported in. After two months underway, he was there to greet you for family day.

Like any gentleman, he showed up with flowers and charmed himself straight into your heart after so many hangouts with you and the rest of the crew. It was the first time you saw that look in his eyes as he tilted his head down to you.

And right there, in front of so many of your shipmates, he kissed you for the first time.

Taehyung and Jungkook freaked out like the pair of spazzes they were. Hoseok flicked them off behind your back as you wrapped your arms around him, but it wasn’t noticed by you until hours later when Jungkook finally sent the pictures of your first kiss with Hoseok to you.

And you were in love with him then. Just as you are now.

If you really love him, though, you think it’s about time you finally let him go.

You lie in your bed, letting tears stream down to soak into your pillow, and delete the photo- along with all of the others that chronicled your happy days as Hoseok’s.

The number of photos and videos came out to be 1,753.

It's much too difficult to ignore Namjoon’s voice as he speaks to Taehyung. The bass of it carries a lot farther than the falsetto of Jimin's, who stands with them.

"Yeah, I heard it was so bad that he had to change his locks."

"Oh, no way!" Jimin seems to laugh out of pure astonishment. "She's that crazy?"

Namjoon sips on his drink. “Apparently so.”

For a moment, they’re silent. You take this opportunity to rejoin the group and walk up slowly.

“Does Y/N know?” Jungkook asks.

You quirk your eyebrow when you get to them. “Know what?”

The five men turn to stare at you in surprise and you can see that the youngest one winces.

“Uh…” Jimin trails off, lost. “The…”

None of the men seem to be able to speak. You have obviously reentered the conversation at a bad time.

Finally, once he’s done looking at the others in disdain, Yoongi scoffs. “It’s not like he wants to keep it a secret. She’s our friend too.”

“What’s going on?” You set your drink on the table and put a hand on your hip expectantly.

Yoongi grabs onto your shoulder. “Laci cheated on Hobi.”

Suddenly, you forget about the comedic way the men look like deer caught in headlights. Instead, your blood boils.

“What?”

There’s no happiness gained from the news; you feel no satisfaction from learning of the reason behind the end to his relationship. Hoseok, as much as it was his decision to end things between the two of you, deserves nothing but the best that this world has to give. Knowing that he’s been wronged like this just makes you angry- and feeling a little protective.

“Yeah,” Taehyung has the nerve to laugh. "Turns out she was banging her manager to get that bonus she was gloating about."

"You missed a golden opportunity." Jungkook coughs and brings his soda to his lips to poorly cover up the statement. Taehyung looks at him crookedly, confused, and Jungkook sighs. “She was boning her manager to get that bon-”

Yoongi’s fingers grip a little more tightly into your skin when he cuts off the younger man. "I find this topic hardly appropriate for a retirement party. I just wanted her to know."

Despite his statement, you turn to him. "Is he alright? When did he find out?"

Namjoon speaks up instead, running a hand through his hair. "He was sulking around and hardly came out of his room for a few days. He finally told me about it the day before yesterday."

In the beat of silence that follows the revelation, you worry for Jung Hoseok. Misplaced guilt makes itself known in the feeling of your stomach dropping because you become acutely aware that all of his friends are here, at your retirement party, with you.

"But is he alright?" You repeat the unanswered question adamantly.

A brief pause passes between you and the group of men. No one seems to have the desire to answer you.

"He's a mess," Yoongi sighs, finally. "-but he'll be fine. You know he doesn't like it when we hover."

The older man is right. For as long as you've known him, Hoseok always prefers to do the comforting rather than be comforted. He isn’t a reserved man, but he is less likely to seek help from others because he has his own, private healing system.

Jungkook chuckles. "You should've seen the groupchat when we were talking about the party."

Shit.

You have to take a seat as you process what Jungkook has just said.

Hoseok has just been cheated on; he just broke up with his girlfriend; all of his friends are here at your party while he does whatever he does and handles his issues alone. You didn’t even have the courage to invite him.

The thought makes you feel awful.

“That’s enough.” Yoongi says. “We’re here to celebrate Y/N’s retirement. Let’s not bring up her ex-fiancé anymore, yeah?”

Quietly, the group murmurs in agreement and proceeds to talk about whatever it is they talk about as you turn around to greet more of your former shipmates. The party continues in full.

But you can't seem to get the thoughts of Hoseok out of your head.

“We’re really glad you decided to join us. Your résumé is really impressive!” The woman, Kyla, walks just slightly in front of you as she speaks.

You smile and shift the box of your belongings in your arms. “Thanks! It was super tough trying to find work around here.”

She turns her head slightly so that you can see the smile on her face. “Oh, I get it. The job search is increasingly difficult these days. I’m glad we found you!”

The workspace is surprisingly homey when you take a look around. At the nineteenth floor of the office building, you expected cubicles and white walls, however, you’re surprised to find that each employee has their own office- granted, they’re a bit small- and each space is decorated differently.

“Employees are free to decorate their spaces as they deem fit. We, at BigHit, believe artistic freedom encourages more efficient production.” Kyla stops in front of an empty office and turns to you. “You are welcome to do the same, Y/N.”

“Thank you,” You can’t help but breathe out the graciousness a little, thankful for the opportunity that has been afforded to you. Although you’re on a military pension due to your honorable discharge, it’s not nearly enough to support a comfortable lifestyle, and you’re still so young- you can’t not work. “I’ll do my best.”

“That’s all we ask for.” Kyla gestures her well-manicured fingers into your space. “Please, make yourself at home. The chief supervisor of this floor will come by to help you settle in soon.”

You squeeze in through the door with your box in hand and misty eyes. After two months of job-searching and extremely strict budgeting, you finally have a job. Not only will you be able to relax in your apartment now, but you will be able to support yourself even more than you did before. Life is finally getting better.

Your new office is quite small; it seems to be a standard eight-by-ten workspace with a desk perpendicular to the far-right wall, a company-provided desktop computer, and a set of drawers against the wall that sit next to the desk. Although it’s not much, you begin picturing all of the ways you can make it your own because, after all, you’re extremely lucky to have landed the job in the first place.

“Again, Kyla,” You set your box down onto the desk and turn to her. “Thank you.”

She laughs lightly and begins walking towards the door. “I’m just here to make sure you’re happy and content. The chief supervisor is actually the one who signed off your application, so save all that for him. Let me know if you need anything- anything at all- and I’ll be here to work it out.”

You nod and reach into your box to start taking your things out. “Sounds good.”

“Oh, and Y/N?” Kyla pauses, halfway out the door, and turns to you again. You stop to look at her with questioning eyes.

“Thank you for your service.”

You’ve heard the phrase hundreds of times before, yet it still sends you into a fit of confusion when someone hits you with it.

Did you really serve? Was your time fulfilling maintenance requests and working on heavy machinery enough to be considered service to your country?

Are you enough?

“Uh,” You scramble for the right words awkwardly. “Th-thank you for your support.”

Kyla nods, smiles, and then leaves with the closing of your door.

Twenty minutes and an empty cardboard box later, you sit in front of your new desktop monitor when there’s a knock on your door. It’s a familiar cadence that taps to a specific beat, yet you can’t place where you know it from.

“Come in!” You voice at a volume a little less than a yell. There’s a beat of hesitation before the knob turns.

Ever so slowly, the door opens.

Flame orange hair.

Mocha brown eyes.

Jung fucking Hoseok.

Your heart drops to the floor as your ex-fiancé stands in the doorway. Suddenly, all of the air in the room seems to be vacuumed out. He’s stolen it, rendering your ability to breathe practically nonexistent.

“H-Hoseok?” You stutter his name. “W-what’re you-”

“I’m- uh-” He seems to be just as dismayed as you, eyebrows furrowing incredibly hard whilst he looks at the floor. “I’m the Chief Supervisor.”

Dumbly, you continue to stare at him in silence, at a loss for words. He speaks again. “I see you’ve- er- settled in well.”

His brown eyes are inquisitive and shocked, although you don’t understand why.

If anything, you should be the one who’s surprised seeing as he’s apparently the one who hired you. He saw your name on the application- allegedly, he’s the one who approved it- so why does it look like he walked into the wrong office?

“Kyla helped me out.” You struggle to make small talk with him, scurrying for development yet becoming unsure of how to go about conversing with him.

You eye Hoseok critically, wondering why he’s being so awkward, and note the way his natural brown hair begins to push the orange out to reveal itself at its roots in an almost natural way. It gives away that he’s gotten his hair done since the last time you saw him on New Years Eve.

His eyes look tired because of the bags under them, something you’re not used to, yet he seems to have gained the smallest bit of mass around his shoulders and arms. Despite what he’s gone through in the last few months, he looks good.

And as much as you’d love to hate him, you still can’t.

“I’m glad to hear that.” Hoseok’s voice is almost a whisper, yet you can still hear the slight edge of bass that you used to love so much. Almost delicately, he steps into your office and you eye when he places his hand on the door to close it. Then, he decides against it, dropping his arm back to his side while he takes another step to stand in front of your desk. “Were you able to access your profile yet?

It’s hard to speak past the lump in your throat as you look up at him from your chair. “Not yet, no.”

“Wait,” He shifts his weight to the other foot and crosses his arms over his chest almost as if he’s trying to protect himself. His body language practically screams that he’s uneasy. “Did Kyla give you your log-in information yet?”

“She didn’t,” you answer him.

He toes the ground awkwardly. “Oh…”

In the tiny and quiet space of your office, the two of you go silent. Neither one of you speak for a few seconds.

Hesitantly, Hoseok grabs the back of the chair in front of your desk and moves to sit.

“So…” His voice is uneven. His eyes meet yours and there is something in them that throws you off. “How’ve you been?”

The tension in the question is palpable, although you can’t seem to place what kind of tension it is. Is it guilt? Obligation?

Sexual?

Suddenly, you can feel his hands skating up your thighs and coming to rest at your waist. His arms pulling you close to his warm body. Loving kisses to your cheeks and the corners of your lips.

The ghost of his touch hits you like a truck as he sits there and expects an answer from you. You have to shudder out a breath to collect yourself from the notion of missing his touch and love.

“I’ve been better,” you clear your throat. “But I’ve been worse.”

Hoseok’s smile is small and courteous, although, it is easy to see that something has changed him since the last time you saw him smile. His smile was blinding and beautiful when you saw him on New Years, but now? The light that contested the sun is nowhere to be seen.

He looks down at the floor again, breaking the line of tension and allowing you space to breathe. “I guess that’s… good.”

It’s easy to see that he’s lost. His lack of confidence is horribly obvious in the face of your judgement. The room goes quiet again and you can hear your own heartbeat pulsing in your ears because of how much it quickens from the situation.

“So you’re the one who hired me?” You place your hands onto your desk and lean into the question.

Hoseok raises his hand to the back of his neck and rubs sheepishly. “Oh- uh- yeah. I did.”

“Why?”

It’s a million-dollar question. One that has a simple answer. It could be dealt with professionally and truthfully with the way Kyla explained it earlier. He could take care of it smoothly and cleanly and move on with your professional relationship. But you don’t want him to.

Because, after all this time, you realize-

You still hope that he will come back to you.

The possibility that he hired you because he still cares about you lingers in the back of your mind. Even if he still cares about you as a friend, you cling to that hope like a koala clings to a tree. Jung Hoseok is a good person and you want him in your life in any way that you can have him.

Despite the fact that he gave up on you.

“I saw your application,” he says. “You’re more than qualified for this job.”

The statement does not satisfy your hopeful thoughts; instead of the answer you wanted, you got the answer that you needed.

It’s enough for you to see a future with Hoseok in it, but it’s not enough for a future that you thought about once upon a time. It’s also enough for you to know that he is no longer in love with you. That ship sailed long before you were forced to accept it.

Now that you have gotten to speak to him cordially and seen that there is nothing but friendly attitude, you can finally put any remaining reservations you had for him down into the grave of who you used to be.

“Well,” you say after a moment, clearing your throat of emotion. “Thank you for the opportunity. It was really hard to find a job.”

“It’ll be nice to have you around.” He smiles the smallest of smiles.

And in his eyes, you see the beginning rays of a sunrise.

“So, Y/N!”

Yeonjun yells a little over the music of the bar. You look at him with a quirked eyebrow.

“What brought you to BigHit?”

You set your glass on the table and turn your body to face him while the others continue to eat their food.

“I actually stumbled across it on Indeed! I saw they were hiring a technician and I needed a job really bad so I applied.”

He places his cheek on his hand and nods while you speak. When you give him the straightforward answer, he leans in a little. “Do you like it here so far?”

“It’s very nice.” You smile genuinely even though you’ve heard the question hundreds of times in the last four days. “It’s a huge culture shock.”

RaKeisha turns her head to look at you. “Oh yeah! You did tell me that you used to be in the military! I can’t imagine how much more lax it is.”

“Loads.” You laugh.

RaKeisha’s words seem to incite curiosity in Yeonjun.

“Oh?” He asks. “You were in the military?”

You nod and pick up your drink. “For ten years.”

The man hardly misses a beat before he says, “Military women are pretty admirable.”

The table of your new coworkers goes silent for a split second before erupting into a chorus of ohhhhhhh’s that make you duck your head in embarrassment.

“Christ.” You mutter and smile bashfully, blushing into your cup before taking another sip.

Another one of your coworkers, Soobin, claps a hand onto Yeonjun’s shoulder. “My man!”

As the dinner continues, you think more and more about the man who sits at the other end of the table. He casts you glances every now and then with the slightest of grins on his lips. He’s a little cute.

His blonde hair shines under the low light and his eyes are borderline flirtatious. You note the way his full lips twitch just slightly every time you make eye contact with him. He’s young- younger than you by a few years, you think- but he still carries himself like a man. Although his eyes are not full of sunshine, they are full of potential.

You like potential.

After twenty minutes of the back and forth, you finally smile back at him.

A chair scrapes loudly and the sound of cutlery clattering on the table distracts you from the moment. Everyone turns their heads towards the interruption.

Hoseok walks away briskly in his gray suit, however, you see a slight sway to his step that causes his path to become partially diagonal as he makes his way towards the restroom. It makes it obvious that he has begun to feel the alcohol that he’s been drinking.

He doesn’t turn around once.

RaKeisha furrows her eyebrows in confusion and leans in to whisper to you. “What was that about? Is he going to throw up or something?”

You brush off the strange action. It isn’t your business to meddle in his affairs anymore. To maintain the professionalism he set when he first came to talk to you, you shrug in response to your coworkers question.

“I don’t know. Something.”

"♨️Keep your clothes warm♨️"

The caption on your screen is short as you stare at the photos you’ve come across.

You lie in your bed and hold your phone while you lay on your side, scrolling through Hoseok’s instagram page in deep thought. Only recently did the two of you begin following each other again.

In the photo collection that is accompanied by the caption, he wore a Louis Vuitton scarf and a brown skull cap that concealed his eyes. He posed in an elevator where he used a certain filter that caused a fish-eye effect from the floor of it. You can’t help the small smile at how dorky he looks in each of the photos.

He’s just as dorky as you remember.

Yeonjun

iMessage

The notification slides down from the top of your screen and you quickly click it to get yourself out of the mild stalking you’re doing.

Fancy some more ice cream?

You smile at the message and then look at the time on your phone. It reads 11:24.

Kinda late to be getting ice cream, don’t you think?

His response bubble pops up almost immediately after your message is delivered.

We went out at like

2 am last time

You scoff and tap away at your phone.

We didn’t have work the next morning lol

Yeonjun replies quickly.

So? We won’t be long. I’ll pick you up in 20 mins

You roll your eyes at him, wondering how he manages to be so cute yet so annoying. Still, you get up and put on some shorts and a t-shirt.

Your adventures with Yeonjun have become normal in the last month or so. Even though he is increasingly flirtatious with you, he likes to keep what you do together private. No one at work knows of how the first team dinner kicked off a potential situationship with the man. It’s a little exhilarating. It makes you feel younger.

You’d like to think it’s a little game; there is obvious tension between him and you, but you are not going to be the one to make the first move, given your history, and, apparently, neither is he. Whoever gives in first? Well…

You’ll get to that part when you get there.

You also find that it is much too difficult to ignore the fact that you are afraid of what Hoseok would think of you finally getting into another relationship after all these years. Even as you walk out of your door and take the elevator to meet Yeonjun in the lobby, you quickly remedy the thought with a correction- you are afraid of what your Chief Supervisor would think of two of his employees getting into a relationship.

“There she is.” Yeonjun stands by the door and smiles at you, raising his hand to offer you the smallest of waves.

You smile back. “Here I am.”

The two of you head to his car in the warm spring night, giggling like teenagers when you resume your efforts of trying to trip each other. You finally get into the car with slight tears in your eyes from how hard you were laughing when his face was graced with a look of shock after actually stumbling.

You can feel the chemistry as he drives. You feel the attraction. He is undoubtedly handsome as he props an arm up on the steering wheel and hums along with the song playing on his stereo. If all of his flirtations are evidence of it, you think that he just might have feelings for you.

Maybe you can develop some for him too.

Rita’s stares back at you as the two of you pull up to the establishment. A short line of people stand in front of the window where a young girl serves her customers. She looks like she’s still in high school. You glance down and unbuckle your seatbelt as the brief thought of I remember being that young skates across your mind.

Everything is routine at this point; Yeonjun waits at the front of his car for you, you smile at him and he smiles at you excitedly- ‘gosh, it’s really nice to be doing this with you’- and you walk up to the line together. The place is always busier on Friday nights.

But then a wrench is thrown into your routine.

Yeonjun’s arm encircles your waist when the two of you stop at the back of the line. There’s hesitation in the way he does it. You can feel it in the way his fingers just barely feather against your hip, pull away, and then press completely down so that they can fully hold you.

It’s impossible to stop your head from looking up at him in surprise. Although it’s not the reaction you think he wanted you to have, you try to play it off by arching an eyebrow at him.

“Getting a little brave, are we?” You tease.

“Only for you, sweetheart.”

His response is smooth and quick. The way he lowered his voice to say it makes your heart lurch in your chest and your breathing falter for just a moment. How exciting.

Countless customers are served and, before you know it, you’re standing at the front and ordering alongside Yeonjun. A brief argument about who will pay and you begrudgingly letting him hand over his card later, you leave the window with him stuck to your side.

As you wait for your orders, he keeps his arm around your waist. It’s almost instinct for you to place your hand to his stomach because of how close you are to him. You can’t let him be the only one that proceeds forward now that he’s made a move. Another boundary has been passed and it’s your turn to meet the new one.

Yeonjun’s heart beats against your fingertips, strongly and surely pulsing below his skin. He’s warm and comfortable in your embrace. Being so close to him, so cozy, has you feeling a type of excitement that you haven’t felt since…

Hoseok.

The thought of him turns you cold instantly. You don’t have the slightest clue as to why it feels like his name breaks you out of a stupor- what about your current situation makes you stupid?

When the young girl calls Yeonjun’s name for the order, you detach from him quickly. For whatever reason, you can’t stay near him after thinking about your ex. It feels wrong.

You know that the sensation of being with Yeonjun opens you up to a potential relationship with him- if nothing else, a friend with benefits situation that can take care of your needs- so why doesn’t it feel right?

Even as Yeonjun looks at you with furrowed eyebrows, confused with why you’re rushing away from him, you wince- a confirmation that something is up. You’ve never been one to conceal your emotions well- you faced hell for it during your time in the military.

When you walk back over to him with your orders in hand, he still has the same look of perplexity on his face.

“You okay?” He asks.

You were expecting the question. It doesn't make answering it any easier, though.

"I..." You trail. "I don't know."

His eyes get a little wide and he clasps his hands together nervously. "D-did I... Did I make you uncomfortable?"

Quickly, you rush to comfort his worries. "No no, you didn't." You take a breath to try calming yourself so that you can organize your raging thoughts. "I'm just... thinking about some things."

"Some... things..." Yeonjun echoes what you've just said with puzzlement. Enough time has passed since you were served that his order of mint chocolate ice cream begins to melt just slightly. "Are they things I should be worried about?"

A burst of courage suddenly hits you. Without worrying any more about it, you grab his free hand and pull him away from the crowded area so that you can gain some privacy with the conversation.. "Yeonjun? I'm going to be honest with you."

"Okay..." He’s visibly confused as he raises his ice cream to his lips and licks up some of the dripping cream.

"But first," You say, taking a breath. It’s now or never.

“I need you to kiss me.”

Even as you say the words, you’re surprised that you actually say them aloud. The look of shock on his face is replicated with your own because neither of you were expecting to hear it.

“W-what?”

“Please,” you rush. “Just kiss me.”

“Y/N… not that I don’t want to,” You think he looks mildly horrified by your statement as he sits on the curb. “But why?”

“Because I-” You cut yourself off and go to sit down beside him, trying to figure out how to say what you want to say and panicking a little when no words come out. “- because-”

The sound of stuttering brings back the concerned look on his face. Your mild freak out has obviously made him uneasy.

“Hey,” He leans forward and grabs ahold of your hand in his. “Whatever it is, you don’t have to tell me now, okay? I’m just not sure I want our first kiss to be something that you need. I want you to want it.”

Yeonjun’s words stop your blazing path of courage in its spot. Do you want to kiss him?

You’ll give it to him; Yeonjun is hot. His blonde hair falls over beautifully brown eyes and frames his face when it stops right at his cheekbones. You think he looks like he could be in a movie when he slicks his hair back for work.

His lips are kissable. They’re full and plump and so pink as he stands and stares at you in expectation. No matter how much you can see the possibility of kissing him in your head, though, you’re left wondering- do you want that possibility to become a reality?

It could possibly remove you of the leftover feelings you have for Hoseok. You know that people get into relationships to get over old ones everyday; are you the type of person who needs a new guy to move on?

On the other end of the spectrum, kissing him could prove to you that you haven’t truly moved on from Hoseok.

Desperately, you want to find out, so- yes- you want to kiss him.

“Yeonjun,”

You whisper his name and place your hand over his. His fingers dig into your skin lightly and you scoot closer to him to remove the extra space. When he looks down at you headily, you press your chest to his. “I want you to kiss me.”

His free hand is slow to move. It skates up your side and gently cups your jaw to accompany his face as he leans in.

“Are you sure?”

His question is whispered mere inches away from your lips. Within the few moments he used to lean in, you started holding your breath. You don’t know why, though. Are you excited? Or nervous?

Rather than think about it any longer, you bring back your potent burst of intrepidity.

You barely get the ‘I’m sure’ out before you’re wrapping your arms around his neck and closing the remaining distance.

Yeonjun's lips are soft as they smash up against yours and you have to sigh at the sensation. He’s warm, embrace tight and secure, as he pulls you against him, and his breath tastes like mint chocolate. Although you don’t particularly favor his flavor of ice cream, it tastes wonderful when he slips his tongue onto the edge of your bottom lip to lave against it.

Yeonjun lets his hand on your face drop to your bent knee and squeezes it gently while he moves his lips against yours. Your heart rate picks up and your spine tingles with excitement because it's everything you’ve ever wanted in a first kiss with someone.

But that's just what it is- a kiss with someone.

Your body reacts naturally to having intimate, physical contact with a human being, but you realize that butterflies don't fill your stomach. Your thighs clench together with lust, but there is no passion. The possibilities of a future with this man are hardly there as he lowly grunts.

In this moment of time, where you share your breaths with someone who isn’t Jung Hoseok, you can’t help but feel like it is the most unnatural thing in the universe.

No one can make you feel the same and, because you kissed Yeonjun, you know for sure now- you're still not over Hoseok.

In your study of the kiss, you fail to reciprocate his lips' movements and go still. He must notice that your fervor is gone because his rhythm against you drastically slows.

Deliberately but surely, Yeonjun pulls away with a satisfied exhale on his lips and his eyes fluttering open. You can tell from the way he looks at you dreamily that he felt a lot more in the kiss than you did.

As you part your lips to take a breath, you feel how well-kissed they are. They tingle, and remnants of mint chocolate still sit on your lips when you lick them. Damn, he's a pretty good kisser. It’s shallow to think it, but you figure it’s your mind’s way of trying to soothe yourself.

"So," he whispers. You look at him with your hands still around his neck, unsure of how to handle the revelation. "I'm not the one, huh?"

The question burns your chest and makes you feel so guilty that you let your lips part to take an exhale of shocked shame. It’s so heavy and cumbersome that your heart breaks for him that very moment.

You lean your forehead against his and close your eyes while you try to sort out your thoughts.

“Yeonjun…” You hesitate again. It’s becoming more difficult to speak. “I…”

He pulls away to put his hand back on your cheek and thumb over your cheekbone.

“Is there someone else?”

You wince sheepishly. "Not exactly. It's... It's complicated."

Yeonjun chuckles at your words and slowly relaxes his hold on you. "I see. So it's like that."

"It is." You stiffly nod to confirm his thoughts.

The man who sits in front of you has a disheartened smile on his lips. The look tears you apart because the last thing you wanted to do was hurt him. As much as you feel bad for him, though, you know that you can’t delay the inevitable.

"Thank you."

Yeonjun expresses his gratefulness lowly and removes his arm from around you so that he can lean away and pick up his abandoned ice cream. Guilt and confusion still prevent you from doing the same.

"For what?" you ask.

Thoughtfully, he chews on his ice cream and then looks at you with a click of his tongue.

"For being honest with me." His smile turns crooked as he regards you. "It saved me from a lot of hurt."

His statement wasn't meant to make you feel guilty you don't think- Yeonjun doesn't seem like the petty type- yet you feel the ugliness of the sensation pressing on your chest like a truck. It makes the task of breathing just that much harder.

"Yeonjun, I'm-"

"Don't apologize." He cuts you off and places a hand on your shoulder.

"But, Yeonjun-"

"No ‘buts’, Y/N. I’m already so lucky that you even gave me a chance."

Suddenly, you look at him, feeling even more horrible because the compliment manages to actually flatter you. He’s too kind for his own good.

“Oh, come on, Jun. It’s not all that.”

Yeonjun smiles and looks at the ground with a blush on his cheeks.

“It is, though,” he says. “All of us at the office know how amazing you are. Soobin, Chanyeol, Mr. Jung-” You choke and splutter in shock from the unexpected name. With a quirked and worried eyebrow, he trails off. “-Mark… Y/N, are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” You clear your throat and pump your fist to your chest a few times to try assisting your struggle. “Just choked on my spit a little.”

“O… kay…” He shakes his head and continues. “As I was saying, all the guys think you’re an amazing woman. They talk about you all the time.”

“Even Hoseok?”

Oh fuck. You were not supposed to fucking say that.

In a panic, your eyes widen as he narrows his at you.

"Is he the one who's making it complicated?"

You’re rushing to mend your slip up before you can even think about it.

“No! No. Uh…” You swallow thickly. “I was just wondering because- uh…” Shit. Think of something. “… because he’s our Chief Supervisor! It’s a little weird. Heh.” Nervously, you laugh, applauding yourself for coming up with something so quick. Once you finish laughing, you search his eyes to see if he’s bought your excuse.

Yeonjun’s face is unmoving for a moment, his eyes still picking you apart like you are an unsolved mystery, and it makes your heart leap away with anxiety.

Then, his face relaxes and he chuckles. “Well, yeah. Even Mr. Jung talks about you.”

You can’t press any further into the topic of your ex because it would allow Yeonjun to see right through your lie.

“That’s so weird,” you say instead. You need to make the conversation general again. “All of you talk about me?”

“Yep.” He struggles to answer you past his new mouthful of ice cream. “Ever since they saw me flirting with you at that team dinner.”

“Oh, good god.” You accidentally snort as you cover your face with your hand. “It’s been that long?”

Again, he takes a mouthful. “Mhm. ‘ou should sh-ee how much Chan-eol and Mish’ter Jung tal’ abou- ‘ou.” He swallows the melted dessert. “They’re like teenagers in high school.”

“What do they say?”

You ask the question with curiosity and hope bubbling up in your chest like fragile butterflies that have been blown away countless times before. They shudder under the weight of the pressure that the memories cause. It’s hard to forget what has happened to them over the years.

“Well, they talk about your work ethic a lot. And how you look extra beautiful when you’re working hard.”

The comment shocks you. You were prepared to hear something about your physical appearance, so when you hear Yeonjun point out something that’s not exactly physical- as you expected from a group of men- you become pleasantly surprised.

“Really?”

“You get this look on your face when you focus,” he says thoughtfully. “Your eyebrows kinda come together and everything. It’s really pretty.”

You become flushed and duck your head to begin eating your own dessert as something to occupy your facial features.

As flustered as you are by Yeonjun’s compliments, you find it’s hard to think about them when you've just been told that Jung Hoseok talks about you like he's not your ex-fiancé.

"Thanks, Jun…"

There’s an uneasy feeling that comes with the knowledge. It’s hard to think with people around you. After a beat, you speak your need.

"Actually… Can you take me home?”

He winces. "Did I make you uncomfortable?"

"You didn't..." you say, stressing the first word so that he knows you are actually uncomfortable. "But I think I'd like to be alone for the rest of the night. It's getting late anyway."

"I understand."

Yeonjun gets up and gives a few brushes to his backside to remove his shorts of any dirt that might be clinging there.

Your ice cream, forgotten, sits on the pavement as you walk back towards the car. Your mind is too muddled to remember it.

Yeonjun frowns, picks it up, and tosses it into the nearby trash can.

Now that you know to look, you can feel his eyes on you as you pour yourself another cup of coffee in the break room.

It’s your third one today. Wait, is it the fourth? Or fifth? You’d like to think that the reasoning behind you losing count is because of how focused you are on your work, but you know that the coffee has been unnecessary since the second cup. There’s no way around the fact that you’ve lost count because you keep getting cups so that you can see him put his eyes on you.

Since Yeonjun told you of your obvious influence on the men of the office, you’ve been especially watchful of whose eyes linger on you. It’s quite difficult, at first, until you realize that they all manage to avert their gazes just fast enough when you let yourself search.

But his eyes- Hoseok’s- they linger just the slightest bit too long. It’s long enough for you to see that he is looking at you with with a blank expression on his face. You expected curiosity or distaste- hate, even- but his face is almost devoid of any emotion. It’s certainly beginning to throw you off.

It throws you off so much that you pour the coffee until it spills over the sides of your mug.

“Shit,” you mutter and back away from the edge of the counter as it threatens to spill over onto the floor.

“Whoa there,” a familiar voice says from behind you. You turn to look at who you know to be Yeonjun lurking behind you. “What happened here?”

You sigh in frustration and turn to face him after putting the cup down. “Just kind of lost myself for a second and stopped paying attention.”

He smiles softly and reaches past you to grab some of the napkins from the dispenser. “Here, let me help.”

The two of you begin sopping up the spilled coffee and you keep your eyes down while the heat of embarrassment rises on your cheeks. Yeonjun tries to reassure you that what’s happened is nothing, ‘relax, babe,’ yet you can’t help but feel mortified that you made such a slip in front of your Chief Supervisor- in front of your ex-fiancé.

Once the coffee is cleaned, you both turn to toss the napkins in your hands into the trash can.

Thunk!

Yeonjun’s shoulder bumps into your forehead as he turns towards you at the same time that you turn towards him. You immediately shoot your hand up to soothe the dull ache that the force has incited and the man is quick to do the same to comfort you.

“Oh fuck,” He grabs onto your shoulder and leans down to look into your downturned face. “I’m so sorry.”

“You’re good.” You wince, rubbing your forehead affectionately. It only takes a brief moment for you to remember that someone else has seen the entire interaction and you quickly jerk your head in the direction of where you know him to be standing.

Brown eyes no longer train your figure. In fact, he has completely left the break room.

His absence leaves a terribly noticeable emptiness in your chest.

Glasses clink together and beers slightly spill over the edges from the contact. A chorus of cheers accompany the movement.

“Congrats, team! Another fiscal for the books!”

Hoseok smiles brightly as he regards his team, loving every moment of the camaraderie. He lets his eyes sweep over every member who bring their glasses to their lips and watches as each one takes sips and gulps of the golden beverage.

“Chug! Chug! Chug!”

The man’s attention is drawn to his accounting manager, Yeonjun, as he continues to gulp when everyone else has ceased. As soon as he sees Yeonjun, though, he also sees you egging him on with the most excited of smiles on your face.

Hoseok can’t help but try to distract himself with the bitter taste of the beer.

He hates the idea of the two of you, but rumors about how you began spending time with the younger man started circulating the office ages ago. It's an unavoidable truth now.

He sees the way Yeonjun makes you happy; he noticed the way you became no longer interested in anything to do with himself mere weeks after you first started; Hoseok grew to accept that you no longer loved him long before he, himself, had begun to lose those feelings.

Just one more hug.

You gave the best hugs in his opinion.

Even as you lean into Yeonjun while he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, Hoseok can’t think of anything but being able to wrap his arms around you and pull you to him one more time. You had this habit of giggling whenever he picked a random moment to encase you in his embrace and he used to revel in the feeling of your body vibrating with happiness against his own.

Now, he begs for the sensation.

If he were brave, he’d throw all caution to the wind and march right over to you so that he could feel your hug again. He would press his nose into your neck and crush you to him like he wants whilst everyone else watches their boss crumble below your fingertips.

But he’s not brave. He’s a fucking coward. Hoseok proved the statement to himself when he cancelled his engagement and broke up with you.

He was too much of a coward to handle your lifestyle. He wasn’t brave enough to continue loving you even after the fact because he wasn’t able to charge through the obstacles that came with loving someone in the military. Worst of all, he was too much of a chicken to approach you on the night of the New Years’ party. He was so ashamed that he couldn’t even look at you.

So he dyed his hair flame orange.

Don’t get him wrong- he definitely likes the style- but he wouldn’t do something crazy like that on a normal day and he could definitely think of a few other aesthetic things he could do to his body to make you look at him.

Maybe an eyebrow piercing. Maybe a lip piercing. Hoseok doubled back on those thoughts when he thought about their more permanent- and painful- consequences.

So he ended up dying his hair. He did it so that you’d have to instinctually look at the strong color; so that you’d have to look at him first.

He also got himself a girlfriend. Maybe it would spur the jealousy in you so that he could know for sure if you still cared or not.

To say that his plan worked was the truth- you undoubtedly eyed his hair when he stepped in front of you after Laci approached you- but you didn’t look at him in the way that he wanted you to. In fact, you almost seemed to dote on his relationship like a proud mother. The notion made him frustrated.

Because you were happy for him; he didn’t want you to be happy for him. He’s usually so good at keeping his emotions concealed from those around him, but when he had Laci on his side and your happy eyes driving him further into the ground, he couldn’t help but feel the guilt of a thousand criminals weighing on his psyche.

That’s what he is, anyway. A criminal. He had no right to do what he did to you.

Hoseok is very aware of the pain he caused you on the night that he left you and he is also conscious of the fact that you felt that pain for a very long time from the way Namjoon had explained it. He’d heard through the grape vine that you stopped talking to the guys as often as you used to and that you had been in a handful of reckless situations after the breakup. For crying out loud, you’d apparently gotten fucking shot.

It seems that that stage of your life has long been over, though.

You sit so content now, next to Yeonjun, and you have a beautiful smile on your lips that displays just how much you’ve grown since being his fiancé.

He hates the idea of you with someone else now but he loves the idea of you being content. When you left the New Years’ party, he knew that any future he had with you was over and done with. It didn’t matter that you were retiring- any hope he might have had to maybe be yours again was long gone.

Like he did at many of the team dinners before, Hoseok gets up with jealousy pushing his anger to the visible surface. His chair scrapes loudly against the floor despite the loud commotion of the occupants in the restaurant and he can feel the eyes of his employees on him as he begins stalking angrily away.

The bathroom at this place has become his sanctuary by this point. He finds that he makes an escape to it every time they come here after work. His own little solitude, away from the chaos that you bring into his mind at these dinners, serves as the perfect oasis to calm him down.

Hoseok follows the corridor down to where the single bathroom sits nudged into the center, under a lone ceiling light, and he goes to grab the brass knob but finds it locked.

Sighing heavily, he leans against the wall and tips his head back with his eyes closed in wait. Many things cross his mind now that he's separated himself from the loudness of the team dinner.

Unsure of how much time has gone by, he blames the lengthy silence for how much he jumps when the door finally opens and RaKeisha steps out.

“Mr. Jung?“

He smiles quickly to cover up the unsound state of his mind.

"You took your time,” he jokes.

The woman steps out from the bathroom slowly, unsurely, and he can tell from the way she slightly missteps that the alcohol has begun to affect her equilibrium.

"I'm sorry, sir. I was just trying to freshen up a little."

"Don't fret, Kei. I was just messing around. And how many times must I tell you to call me Hoseok at these functions?"

She giggles lightly and begins to walk forward. "At least once more, Mr. Jung."

Suddenly, she stumbles, and he instinctively rushes to catch her.

Hoseok grunts with effort as she spills into his arms heavily. Her hands fly desperately to assist in catching herself and she makes a small sound- a squeak- as she was preparing to meet her end.

He's able to steady her after a few struggle-filled moments and he's thankful that he acted quick enough to keep her from tumbling onto the floor.

“Are you okay?” He asks, looking down at her worriedly.

She chuckles sheepishly with embarrassment.

“I am.”

And then she looks up at him with those eyes.

Somehow, they look like yours.

Rakeisha’s skin complexion is much different from yours. Her eyebrows are shaped differently and her hair isn't the same. Overall, she looks nothing like you.

But the way she looks at him is the way you once did.

Rakeisha's eyes are wide and undeniably beautiful as she looks up at him and he can't help but only see you as her face gets close to his. Your nose, your lips, your eyelashes; you stare up at him as he stares down at you.

“Hoseok,” you whisper in the voice that isn't yours. His heart gallops away in his chest as he scrambles to clear his mind of the illusion. His arms tighten around the body that isn't yours, yet his mind remembers exactly what it was like to hold you so intimately.

And then you lean in. And so does he.

Hoseok kisses the lips that aren't yours as if they are, clutching tightly onto you so that he can pour out everything he feels for you to let you know he wanted to come back to you. He really did. And now, it’s too late.

But then, you gasp. The real you gasps.

He thinks he imagines it as he feels his adrenaline pump in his veins and his heart hammer away in his chest. Maybe you feel it when he tightens his arms around you and pulls you so that your chest presses against his own. He wants you to feel everything.

But then, the illusion is gone and it is RaKeisha who still stands fused to his body. You are not the one he holds like his life depends on it. He’s not holding the one who truly makes him happy.

Hoseok turns to look at your wide, shocked eyes with RaKeisha still chasing after his lips in his arms.

Looking back, continuing to hang out with Yeonjun whilst knowing that he wanted to be with you may not have been your wisest decision.

The both of you agreed that you did not want anything like that- it's purely friendship at this point- but you can't help the shame that comes with yet another failed attempt at moving on. It's now been almost four years since the separation and you've failed every time you tried again.

But when you see Hoseok storm off to the bathroom yet again, you can't help the small itch at the back of your mind that tells you that it could be because of you.

You want your presence to irritate him. You want him to be bothered by the fact that you're being friendly with another guy. The idea of making Hoseok jealous is much too enticing to resist.

Is this yet another red flag?

Meh.

The likelihood that his jealousy stems from being without you is extremely minuscule- if not nonexistent. It's a lot more likely that he's jealous of you.

He's also failed at getting into another relationship since Laci and it might have torn him up a lot more than he lets on. And, although the two of them are no longer together, you tend to catch yourself comparing yourself to her on occasion.

The dinner continues without your Chief Supervisor and people begin to get antsy because of his absence. A few of the younger employees get a little out of hand and the older ones wonder where he is so that he can instill some professionalism back into the group.

You volunteer to go check on him without thinking twice about it. Must be the beer.

You leave the large room, following Hoseok’s path, and look down at the floor unconsciously so that you can walk straighter. Part of you wonders if he’s actually using the bathroom or if he’s just sitting in there shutting himself away like he does when he’s overcome with emotion.

When you look up, the hallway to the bathroom is dark yet the door to it is lit by the ceiling light right above it like a spotlight. It allows you to see the silhouettes of two people entangled with each other. Immediately, you recognize the shape of Hoseok’s hair draped over whoever he is bound to. It falls just long enough to touch her forehead.

He grunts softly and his arms tighten around whoever he’s with as you get closer, yet your steps are losing the speed they were at before because you realize that your heart is quickly crumbling to the floor.

When you get close enough, you pick out the locks on RaKeisha’s head dangling down. Hoseok holds her to him so tightly that her back is forced to bow her body into him.

You couldn’t stop the gasp from leaving your lips if you tried. The sight punches a hole in your chest and the air from your lungs.

They don’t move at the sound of your breath, yet they detach from each other quickly after another beat of heated kissing and tightening arms. As if they convey ‘I don’t want to let you go.’ Your emotions are a maelstrom in your head and the chaos makes it seem like things move in slow motion.

Hoseok brings his hand up to thumb at the corner of his lips. RaKeisha adjusts her shirt back over her stomach because it had somehow ridden up over her waist while they were kissing.

“Y/N-” she starts, swallowing thickly. “I- uh-”

Even though you know you shouldn’t be, you feel extremely petty and unnaturally jealous of her as you wait for her to spout some nonsense to you. She’s your friend, yet the audacity she had to kiss your ex-fiancé- even though she didn’t know about your history with him at all- temporarily wipes you of common sense.

“Y/N,” Hoseok speaks instead, out of breath and donning an extremely guilty look on his face. It’s too dark to tell, but you’re almost one hundred percent sure that he’d look pale if you could see him properly.

“It’s not what it looks like.”

You have to resist the urge to roll your eyes. The pettiness has left a bitter taste on your tongue and a block of ice in place of your heart. It prevents you from putting any effort towards trying to understand the situation because- oh, for fuck’s sake- it’s obvious that it is exactly what it looks like.

“I didn’t ask,” you say. Okay, maybe you drank a bit more than you thought. You’re not usually this short with people.

Hoseok hesitates for a moment while RaKeisha ducks her head and books it. The retreat leaves you alone with him.

“Okay.” His voice is lowered by the uncertainty in it.

You respond almost automatically. “Okay.”

He stands there, head lowered, and purses his lips while you stare at him observantly. He can’t seem to meet your eyes because of how you’re looking at him. Good, you muse. You hope he feels small.

“Well,” You suck in a breath, bring your lips between your teeth, and begin to turn away. “I’m going back to the dinner.”

“Y/N-” He stumbles forward as he reaches out. “Wait.”

“Why the fuck would I wait for you?” It’s too easy for the question to come spilling out and it comes out too fast for you to at least control the way you ask it. You turn to look at him with your anger finally exposed on your face and he recoils and pulls his hand back to his side as if the question has burned him. Red hot rage boils in your blood and controls your words. “You couldn’t wait for me.”

He opens his mouth and then closes it because you know that he has absolutely nothing to say. You are right and he knows it.

Instead of speaking to further the conversation any more, you begin walking away.

His fingers wrap around your arm in a crushing grip and yank you back in such a direction that your back thumps against the wall. A dull ache resounds from where your shoulder blades came into contact with it. The action alone makes you want to fight him because of how he thinks he just has the right to touch you.

“What the fuck, Hoseok!” You hiss and raise your arm to rip it from his grasp.

“Just-” He raises his hands up in surrender, obviously apologetic, and looks away from you. “Just stop-” He grits his teeth, balls his hands into fists, and drops them to his sides. “- stop leaving me.”

“What the hell do you mean?” You bite. It feels good to cuss so much at him. “What else am I supposed to do?”

Angrily, you poke your finger into his chest to accentuate your words. “You left me, asshole.”

He sighs harshly and leans into you with his hand on the wall despite the aggression in your actions. Unconsciously, your hands come up and fold in front of your chest at the new closeness.

“That wasn’t- it wasn’t-” He bares his teeth in frustration and then licks his lips, struggling. “It didn’t end how I wanted it to.”

You scoff in disbelief. “Look, Hoseok. What we had is over with. It has been for years.” It hurts you to say it. “But what still hurts is the fact that you wanted it to end.”

He slams his hand against the wall twice, shaking his head vehemently. “No, no! Not like that! I didn’t wa-”

But you don’t want to hear what he has to say. You’re done with his excuses. “I’m not who I used to be, so don’t give me that.”

He goes quiet again, letting you speak.

“But thank you for everything. Genuinely, thank you. You were the best and worst thing that ever happened to me and I’m grateful that you did what you did because it allowed me to grow.”

He’s incredibly silent as you conclude your interaction. “I’m done with this conversation.”

And you walk away, leaving him in the dark hallway.

Hey! Thanks for reading! Part two will be out soon!

#fic: fair winds #jung hoseok #hoseok x reader #hoseok angst #hoseok smut #hoseok fic #jhope #jhope x reader #jhope smut #jhope fic #bts fanfic #jhope angst #choi yeonjun #yeonjun #bts fic #jhope au #hoseok au #hobi #hobi fic

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ugh-yoongi · 8 months

Note

HOBI REQUESTS YAY! okay so at first i was thinking it might be hobi's birthday and he stays late at the studio regardless of the day and comes home to reader all tired and drained, but then reader has such a sweet surprise for him when he gets there (whether it be a cake, flowers, balloons, etc.) and it just seems like he can breathe again without the weight of his work on his chest, even if it's just for that night, he can fall asleep with no problem.

OR, considering it's in the name of jess' birthday, it could be reversed? reader's birthday and hobi has the sweet surprise instead? i don't have an idea of what specifically would be demanding so much of reader's attention, but coming home to hobi with his pretty smile on such a day seems like something so beautiful.

that's all i could muster up as of now, 🙃 if you chose to, feel free to play around with it until it's something you are comfortable with! <3

thank you so much for the request! i went with the first one and i hope you enjoy it! <3

(side note: i banged this out in one sitting so i'm tentatively optimistic that my writer's block is cured. we'll see. thank you all for your patience and not showing up in my ask box with pitchforks.)

ataraxia

pairing: hoseok x reader genre: est. relationship au; fluff, a tiny bit of angst warnings: hobi's kind of going through it so there are allusions to poor mental health, otherwise this is mostly fluff. just being there for your person when they're having a tough time. no gendered pronouns used. unedited. rating: e for everyone wordcount: 1k listen to: novo amor - anchor

Hoseok had heard once that babies born in the winter are stronger.

Something about mothers being able to absorb more vitamin D during the summer months.

As he collapses onto the floor of his studio, sweat and exhaustion blurring his vision, he thinks those people are full of shit. What has being born in winter gotten him besides muscle cramps and seasonal depression? Because he’s also at a higher risk for that, which those people lauding his athleticism tend to leave off of the discussion.

He sighs. He’s twenty-nine now, and there’s something truly haunting about the inevitability of time. Can’t slow it down, can’t make it go faster; he just has to sit here and take it. Next year he’ll be thirty, thirty-one the year after that, and on and on it’ll go for the rest of his life.

All he has are these little joys: the squeak of his new sneakers on the studio floor, the kids in his class finally nailing their routine, those peach iced teas he likes being buy one get one free this week at the convenience store next door. He has you, too, but you were smart and traded in your two-cent dreams for the corporate world and now you’re spending his birthday on a business trip to Singapore.

Yoongi would call him an asshole for that, probably. He has friends. Friends who want to see him, buy him a drink and give him gifts, and he appreciates the effort, he does, he’s just… tired. Fatigue has seeped into all of his bones and left him nothing more than a husk of a person. It’s been months of this same unending grind, and he’s running out of self to give.

At least Singapore is warm this time of year. In Seoul, beyond the frosted windows of his studio, there’s nothing but gray-brown slush and a patch of black ice he can’t melt no matter how much he salts it.

“Fuck this,” he mutters.

It’s nearing nine o’clock. He needs to get home; needs to eat something and drag himself into a hot shower before he crawls into bed and spends the entire weekend there. Needs to reply to all the texts on his phone wishing him a happy birthday. Needs to tactfully and politely turn down all the invitations. Needs to post some bubbly, colorful message on social media thanking everyone for the well-wishes and attach a photo from a few weeks ago because he hasn’t been smiling much lately.

First, though, he needs to get off the floor.

He usually likes his walk home. Likes pressing his face to the glass to look at all the window displays when he’s not in the mood to shop. Likes seeing other people go about their days, live their lives. Likes looking at all the ways the city reflects sunlight and fades to husky gold. Likes walking under the cherry blossoms in the spring; likes it even more when a few petals stick to his shoulders and you laugh and brush them off as soon as he comes through the door.

It’s hard to get off the floor when none of that is out there.

But he does it anyway, because maybe he has a bit of that winter strength. He packs up his stuff and sits at the bus stop, counts his exhales as they materialize in front of him, thankful for the heavy coat you’d bought for him a few years ago, now well-worn and no longer itchy. He sits at the back by himself and sends half-assed replies to all of those texts. Scrolls back to stare at the photo you’d sent him this morning—fresh from sleep and barefaced, lips pursed together in a kiss, thumb and pointer fingers together in a heart.

Slush sticks to his shoes as he ducks inside the building. Nearly trips climbing up the stairs, because the two of you live on the fourth floor and it feels too lazy to take the elevator, even when his muscles are screaming from a long day at the dance studio. But it keeps him moving. Keeps him upright and functional when all he wants to do is rot away.

His shoes are dry by the time he reaches the door, soaked into the carpet lining the hallway. His hands still bear the cold—red and unsteady, it takes him a few tries to punch in the code. Gets it wrong twice, and he takes a second to just… stand there, head resting against the door, feeling the weight of the world come down on him.

He’s not sure what he thought twenty-nine would be like, but surely it wasn’t this.

And maybe if he wasn’t feeling so low, he would’ve noticed. Your keys in the bowl by the door, your shoes in the rack. The light on in the kitchen. The smell of the miyeokguk simmering on the stove. The sound of your footsteps as you meet him where he stands, shoulders slumped, eyes brimming with tears and exhaustion.

“Hob-ah?”

There are hands on his face. Soft, he thinks. They’re touching him so softly, treating him just as delicately as he feels. He leans into it; recognizes the perfume stuck to the wrist. Knows it smells like home and an aching he can never seem to put a name to, and you don’t hesitate to wrap him tightly in your arms.

“You’re not supposed to be here,” he says, words waterlogged and hesitant as he speaks them into the crook of your neck. Nothing feels real, and he doesn’t trust himself to open his eyes.

You tangle your hands in his hair. Scratch lightly against his scalp. “I got an early flight home. Got back this afternoon.” This is where someone else would ask if he’s okay, try to pry apart his ribcage and look at all the ugly parts, but you don’t. There’s just a small intake of breath and the reluctance to let him go. “The miyeokguk is almost ready,” you say instead. “Do you want to take a shower while I get everything ready?”

Hoseok is reluctant to let go, too, but he’s at his best when he has a task. Needs something to accomplish, something to check off on his imaginary to-do list, so he nods. Pulls away and immediately misses your warmth. Takes your face in his hands and presses a kiss to your forehead. Thank you, it says. I needed you here.

You already know, though. You always do.

#hoseok x reader #jhope x reader #hoseok x you #jhope x you #hoseok x y/n #jhope x y/n #hoseok imagine #jhope imagine #hoseok fanfic #jhope fanfic #hoseok fluff #hoseok au #bts imagines #bts x reader #bts x y/n #bts fanfic #fic: jess drabbles #jewel answers #jewel writes

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outrogi · 11 months

Text

laura's hoseok recs

I’ve been reading fics in here nonstop way before I started this blog. It felt like a sin not compiling a list of some of the stories that I loved and hadn’t gotten around to sharing yet, a few of them safe in my drafts until I was ready to make this.

I will keep on adding onto this list as I keep finding stories I've read before and would love to share with you. Leave some love and appreciation to the authors if you can!

disclaimer: all stories that include mature themes will be labeled accordingly. DNI if you aren’t 18+

♡ - favorite

S E R I E S

the purge by @jungblue ◦ violence, gore, angst

heartbeat by @joonbird ♡ ◦ gang au, angst, smut

guarded by @xjoonchildx ♡ ◦ mafia au, angst, fluff, smut

madeleine by @kpopfanfictrash ♡ ◦ arranged marriage au, one night stand au, angst, fluff, smut

airplane mode by @out-of-jams ◦ idol au, soulmate au, fluff, angst, eventual smut

O N E - S H O T S

polaris by @junghelioseok ♡ ◦ time traveler au, fluff, smut

covenant by @junghelioseok ◦ werewolf au, friends to lovers, angst, smut

party on you by @here2bbtstrash ◦ idol au, light fluff, smut

a universe to you by @readyplayerhobi ◦ soulmate au, angst, smut

oranges & lemons by @fantasybangtan ◦ modern greek mythology, smut

sonic rain by @jungblue ♡ ◦ college au, dancer au, smut, fluff, light angst

it's you by @jinpanman ◦ friends to lovers, teacher au, coworkers, fluff

note #1: if any fic recommended is in hiatus, the author has yet to update or left altogether, please do not pester them with updates.

note #2: These are not all of my JHS recs! There’s more with extensive commentary from me here and you can find more of my favorites here

#jhs #hoseok x reader #hoseok smut #hoseok fluff #hoseok angst #hoseok au #hoseok fic rec #bts au #bts x reader #it was genuinely tough not marking all of these as favorites cause tbh they all are 😭

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typeboyz · 3 months

Text

→ Jung Hoseok x Leitora

→ Palavras: 1.6K

ATENÇÃO: Conteúdo sexual explícito, smut, assistir a pornografia e descrevê-la, masturbação feminina, cunilíngua, dedilhado, mordida no clitóris, afiação.

📌 masterlist

→ Sinopse:

Não há melhor maneira de ele passar a noite livre de sexta-feira do que com você, de joelhos, puxando o cabelo dele como um pedido para ir mais rápido.

Esse era seu passatempo favorito com Hoseok. Assistir a filmes e classificá-los de 1 a 5. Geralmente, assistia a cerca de três filmes por noite, com pipoca, salgadinhos e tudo o mais.

Mas casais normais assistiriam a filmes normais. Vocês dois assistem a filmes pornôs. Sim, você leu corretamente.

Ficar em dia com o que é recente, o que é cafona, histórias ridículas e coisas novas para experimentar na cama. Às vezes, a noite termina com sexo apaixonado, às vezes é só vocês dois rindo e indo dormir.

Então é aqui que você está agora. Em sua sala de estar, sentados lado a lado, com pipoca no meio, prontos para assistir a uma cena picante.

— Qual é o título deste? – Você perguntou, apertando o play na TV.

— Não me lembro. – Ele riu comendo um pouco da pipoca. — Provavelmente algo com duplo sentido.

O filme começa com uma música pornô clichê e a estrela do filme já está seminua na tela.

— Droga, escolhi uma sem história dessa vez. – Disse ele com uma pitada de arrependimento na voz.

— Tudo bem, ainda podemos classificar as coisas falsas óbvias. – Você apontou. — Mas tenho que admitir que gostaria de poder colocar minhas pernas atrás das costas dessa maneira.

— Nada que algumas sessões de ioga não possam resolver. – Ele olhou para você com um sorriso e você sorriu enquanto revirava os olhos.

Até o momento, não há nada de novo para ver aqui, apenas uma linda mulher se masturbando em uma posição em que a maioria das mulheres não se masturba.

— Mas esse plugue anal é muito bonito. – Você disse e isso chamou a atenção de Hoseok.

— Vou comprar um tão bonito quanto esse para você. – Ele a abraçou de lado para apertá-la um pouco, beijando sua têmpora com um tom de provocação.

— Ah querido, isso é muito gentil. – Você se juntou à diversão, sorrindo e bicando os lábios dele.

Os olhares de ambos voltaram para a TV, na posição de meio abraçados, comendo pipoca. Nessa adorável discussão, vocês perderam alguns segundos do filme, o que foi suficiente para deixá-los confusos.

— Qual é a razão para ela estar vendada? – Hoseok tinha um tom curioso em sua voz.

— Será que ela sabe que há um homem atrás dela? – Você falou de volta para a TV.

— Isso é pornografia, na maioria das vezes nada faz sentido. – Ele disse a você.

— Oh, ok. – Disseram os dois em uníssono quando os atores começaram a se beijar e a se masturbar.

O filme prosseguiu por mais algumas cenas com vocês dois em silêncio. Nunca gostou muito de assistir a boquetes, mas sempre podia aprender alguma coisa.

— Droga, ele está pendurado. – Você apontou, comendo mais pipoca e Hoseok virou a cabeça para encará-la, com uma mistura de emoções no rosto. Você riu e continuou a assistir ao filme, comentando algumas posições aqui e ali.

— Já acabou? – Hoseok disse. — Ele nem sequer retribuiu o oral?

— Sinto pena dela, vou dar uma nota 2 de 5, só por causa do plugue anal.

— Esse é um zero para mim. – Acrescentou.

— Veja só você se preocupando com o prazer dela. – Você disse em tom de brincadeira.

Com isso, ele zombou e sorriu em sua direção.

— Você sabe como eu sou.

Você riu com ele e cedeu à vontade de tocar a coxa dele.

— Eu sei como você faz.

Você olhou nos olhos dele, depois de um momento, o olhar dele foi para os seus lábios, sua respiração se misturou com a dele e você ouviu a respiração alta dele. Você mordeu os lábios e isso foi o suficiente para que ele se inclinasse e a beijasse.

Ele não esperou muito para usar a língua, levando a mão ao seu pescoço, enquanto você levava a sua da coxa dele para o peito. Você agarrou a camisa dele pelo colarinho para trazê-lo para mais perto e aprofundar o beijo.

Os lábios apaixonados dele nunca deixaram os seus enquanto ele movia a cabeça de um lado para o outro, buscando mais intimidade e intensidade.

A vibração em seu coração era perceptível em todo o seu corpo. Havia borboletas em seu estômago, suas mãos levemente suadas ainda puxando a camisa dele, seus lábios que pareciam não se cansar dos dele. Enquanto Hoseok misturava a língua dele com a sua, o beijo ficava cada vez mais molhado, assim como a sua calcinha.

Você soltou um gemido alto quando ele mordeu seu lábio inferior. Você interrompeu o beijo para olhar nos olhos dele.

— Me mostre como você faz. – Sussurrou.

Hoseok tinha luxúria em seus olhos, agora com o melhor dos deveres que ele adora cumprir. Ele aproveitou a mão que ainda estava em seu pescoço para puxá-la para perto de si e encontrar os lábios dele novamente. O polegar dele roçava sua mandíbula com muita doçura, mas o beijo era intenso como antes, com a língua percorrendo seus lábios mais uma vez, mas retirando-a para que ele pudesse mordê-la novamente.

A mão dele saiu do seu pescoço e desceu lentamente pelas suas costas, a ponta dos dedos deixando marcas de fogo na sua pele. Ele optou por acariciar sua bunda com a mão, enquanto a outra estava firme em sua região lombar. Seus braços foram abraçar o pescoço dele, sabendo que seus lábios se separariam pouco tempo depois, mas ainda querendo que esse momento durasse.

Ele tocou sua coxa e se aproximou de seu núcleo, suas paredes se apertando com o conhecimento do que estava por vir. Ele não perdeu tempo e abriu suas pernas para sentir o calor através do seu short, movendo a palma da mão para cima e para baixo. Você sibilou nos lábios dele, e a interpretação que ele fez foi colocar mais pressão para aumentar a fricção, o que lhe rendeu um gemido alto.

Ele abriu o zíper do seu short para ter mais acesso a você, e ambos tentaram ao máximo tirar o short sem precisar interromper o beijo. As mãos dele voltaram a usar as palmas por um tempo, mas depois ele passou a usar apenas a ponta dos dedos com os mesmos movimentos.

Você ficou triste quando os lábios doces dele deixaram os seus, mas foi por uma boa causa, pois ele se ajoelhou para tirar sua calcinha e depois abriu suas pernas enquanto segurava a parte de trás de seus joelhos. Ele decidiu não ir direto ao assunto, aproveitando o momento para olhar em seus olhos e beijar a parte interna de sua coxa.

Ele então chegou ao seu destino, primeiro beijando seus lábios externos muito lentamente, certificando-se de que cada centímetro seu recebesse a atenção que merecia. Você não podia mais esperar por esse momento, reclinando-se no sofá, mas transferindo seu peso para os cotovelos para ainda ter uma visão perfeita do que estava acontecendo.

Dessa vez, ele usaria o nariz, massageando seu clitóris de um lado para o outro, depois para cima e para baixo, depois desenhando um oito para desenhar seu próprio nome, em coreano e inglês. Ele então decidiu combinar os movimentos com a língua lambendo a parte externa de sua entrada, a sensação o surpreendeu o suficiente para que ele sentisse suas paredes se contraírem levemente na ponta da língua.

Antes que você pudesse se acostumar, ele começou a beijar seu clitóris, com beijos muito molhados e desleixados. Cada vez aumentando e diminuindo sua pressão. Mas você também não se acostumaria com isso, porque ele passou a lamber seu botão sensível, repetindo os mesmos movimentos que o nariz dele acabara de fazer. Dessa vez, ele inseriu dois dedos, fazendo-os girar no sentido horário, só para lhe dar uma nova sensação. E para dar a suas paredes algo em que se agarrar.

Hoje, Hoseok faria algo que não fazia com muita frequência, passaria os dentes delicadamente em seu clitóris, com movimentos de mordida, mas não exatamente mordendo, apenas com presença suficiente para lhe proporcionar novas sensações. Ele então curvou os dedos em busca de seu ponto e continuou mordiscando seu clitóris.

Ao ver seu rosto e o som de seus orgasmos, ele sabia que você estava perto, tomando seu aperto involuntário e irregular como uma pista para parar.

— Por que você parou? – Você choramingou e olhou para ele, apenas para receber um sorriso de volta.

Depois que você recuperava o fôlego, ele voltava a mordiscar, adorando a sua reação a cada passada dos dentes. Mas ele parava novamente.

— Não! Continue. – Você praticamente gritou.

— Paciência, meu amor. – Ele sussurrou tão perto de seu núcleo que a respiração dele causou arrepios em sua espinha

Mas você não teve paciência hoje. Ele voltou aos movimentos e você agarrou a cabeça dele com dois tufos de cabelo para fazê-lo ficar no lugar.

Ele sorriu com sua ação, e suas calças ficaram mais apertadas. Para ele, não há melhor maneira de passar a noite livre de sexta-feira do que com você, de joelhos, você puxando o cabelo dele como um pedido para ir mais rápido. Ele adorava quando você agia assim, adorava saber que era bom no que estava fazendo, que você estava se sentindo bem por causa dele.

Ele sorriu com sua ação e suas calças ficaram mais apertadas. Para ele, não há melhor maneira de passar a noite livre de sexta-feira do que com você, de joelhos, você puxando o cabelo dele como um pedido para ir mais rápido. Ele adorava quando você agia assim, adorava saber que era bom no que estava fazendo, que você estava se sentindo bem por causa dele.

A mistura de mordiscadas e ação dos dedos enrolados fez com que você chegasse bem perto. Seus dedos dos pés já estavam se curvando e o nó em seu estômago estava esperando para ser liberado. Mas você queria algo um pouco mais bruto esta noite. E, em vez de simplesmente deixar Hoseok terminar o que começou, você moveu a cabeça dele de um lado para o outro.

Hoseok ficou surpreso, mas encantado, e simplesmente colocou a língua para fora, deixando que você decidisse o ritmo e a pressão. Ele continuou a se concentrar nos dedos e a textura da língua foi fricção suficiente para que seu orgasmo viesse alguns segundos depois.

Se vocês dois fizessem um filme, ele o classificaria com 10 de 5.

#⠀⠀𖹭 ⠀⠀⎯⎯⠀⠀⠀*⠀⠀𝗇𝖾𝗐⠀⠀𝗆𝖺𝗂𝗅.⠀⠀💌#story © jjksblackgf #tradução © typeboyz #mood © f4iryhopie #dividers © cafekitsune #bts pt br #jung hoseok #hoseok #hoseok smut #hoseok imagines #hoseok cenários #hoseok au #hoseok x leitora

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yeoldontknow · 2 years

Text

Fermata ❧ jhs ❧ M+

⤕ as part of the Once Upon A Fantasy collab with @jamaisjoons @yoonia @inkedtae @kookdiaries @kth1 and @opaljm | banner by the lovely @jamaisjoons | thank you to @xjoonchildx @inkedtae and @sugaurora for reading this over and being so incredibly encouraging. every single word of praise helped me get through this. i cannot express how grateful i am for you! ⤕ Pairing: Emperor!Hoseok x Court Musician!Reader (inspired by The Nightingale by Hans Christian Anderson) ⤕ Genre: fantasy retelling; fantasy au; soulmate au; romance, angst, smut, horror, angst with a happy ending ⤕ Rating: NC-17 ⤕ Summary: Hoseok has spent his whole life promising and swearing that one day he will marry you. After rejecting an arranged marriage with the High Princess from a neighboring kingdom, the scorned Princess uses her dark magic to curse Hoseok into falling in love with her in an effort to usurp the throne. Heartbroken, you flee the empire. When the world is plunged into permanent night, you start to know it is down to Hoseok's curse. When you receive word Hoseok has fallen deathly ill, you start to wonder if anyone can save him at all. ⤕ Warnings: explicit sex; explicit language; graphic depictions of violence; graphic depictions of blood; discussion of death; graphic depictions of murder; depictions of hoseok dying; vaginal fingering; cum play; semi-public sex; loss of virginity; virgin sex; pain kink; size kink; impreg kink; impregnation; blow jobs; hand jobs; pregnancy kink; body worship; breast play; nipple play; creampie; dirty talk; unprotected sex; manipulation; betrayal; arranged marriage themes; crying; begging; marking; scratching; biting; politics; blood; cum swallowing; teasing; passionate sex; wedding night sex; depictions of ptsd; depictions of depression; loneliness; sadness ⤕ Word Count: 60K

Hoseok was born at the first crest of new dawn.

In the Emperor’s quarters he was placed into his mother’s waiting arms, the rich crimson slivers of morning light breaching the boreal curtains at the same moment her tears spilled from the corners of her eyes. Kneeling anxiously at her bedside, his father pressed his fingers to his lips in nervous silence.

A passing sensation of greed claimed him entirely, wanting the entire world, and all the light inside it, for the small bundle who only cried in the same instant he took his first breath. Words evaded him; too much rapture, too much pleasure, too much love and, all at once, the terrible, insurmountable fear the comfort of his family’s existence would soon disappear.

Hoseok’s mother, so content and at peace as her newborn son settled into the valley of her breasts, did not find any cause for worry. She had been blessed with an angel, and angels ride the wings of sunlight. Instead, she smiled at her husband, casting a reassuring glance as she pressed a kiss to the soft tuft of hairs at his head where his crown would eventually rest.

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btsmosphere · 11 days

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Hoseok.

He says he can’t *actually* fly, but no one is too sure how much they believe him. His incredible athletic abilities, well beyond the normal for a human, seemingly have no limit. Luckily, he rarely turns them to deadly uses – just don’t ask how he became this way...

#j hope aesthetic #jung hoseok aesthetic #hoseok moodboard #j hope mafia #j hope imagine #j hope au #bts mafia au #supercharged #jungkook series #bts series #superhero bts #superhero jung hoseok #villain jung hoseok #j hope villain aesthetic #hoseok au #j hope moodboard

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hobicuffed · 2 years

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Out of Place - JHS

Husband!Dad!Hoseok x Wife!Stay-At-Home-Mom!Reader

Genre: hoseok x reader, established relationship au, married au, domestic au, husband hoseok, dad hoseok, angst, ends in fluff, slice of life au, oc son and daughter

Word Count: 2.2k

Summary: When you fell in love with Hoseok, you knew he was the man you’d spend the rest of your life with, even if it meant leaving your home country to live with him in Korea. But when the homesickness starts to settle in again and you decide to pay your country a visit, your husband doesn’t really take your absence as well as he lets on, and your daughter knows it.

A/N: Hi! I was on such a steady roll for a while that it feels like this is my first time uploading in ages even though it’s only been about a week I think. Finally finished my exams last week so moving home and out of my apartment for the summer has changed up my schedule. Anyway, just to note, you and Hoseok have been together for years before this so of course you’ve been to your home country now and again despite living in Korea with him. It’s not like you just completely up and ditched your family, lol. But remember that for the majority of your dating years, Hoseok was busy on tour and in the studio. I imagine you’d visit home a few times but Hoseok wasn’t able to accompany you for most of it, being as busy at he was. He mostly connected with your family through phone calls and texts. Once you got married and he slowed down his career, he could visit your family alongside you more often, but this is his first time being present (not on tour/busy) when you visit home on your own, hence his unfamiliarity with you being away from him in this au. Hopefully, that provides some context. If anyone’s interested, I’d love to do an au on how you and Hoseok met/what life was like when you were dating/in college and living through his superstar days. As always, please let me know if you enjoy! Thank you for reading. :)

...

Fresh-picked flowers lined the kitchen as per usual, in vases on counters, as centerpieces on tables, and on the floor in tall marble pots. One of your many candles rested above the living room's coffee table, filling the air with a calming scent. All throughout the home's bottom floor, floor-to-ceiling windows rest uncovered, allowing the gentle rays of the sun to light the space naturally.

Nothing was out of place in the beautiful dwelling you got to call home. Except for the smile on your husband's face.

Your home has grown familiar with Hoseok's sighs ever since you rolled your suitcase out the door the day before. It was usually Hoseok who was out and about, flying across the world, and moving from one place to the other. In the mornings, when he woke up, you were next to him with your smiling face. In the evenings, when he came home, you were there to greet him with a hug and kiss. And on the days where he was able to spend afternoons at home, you were more than willing to spend it cuddled up in your abode with him.

Since his debut, you'd been the one constantly waiting on him. Late nights on the couch, fighting to stay awake to see him come home. Or late nights beside him in the studio, yawning as you listened to track after track because Hoseok wasn't ready to give up. Or afternoons you spent lounging in bed, already missing the man who'd once again had to run off to dance practice after dance practice. Not to forget, all the months you'd spent wishing he'd finally walk through the door, knowing he was on stage across the world.

Hoseok wasn't used to things being the other way around. In his world that moved so fast, you were one of the only constants in his life. Every time he looked for you, you were just about always there. Maybe had he still been in his younger years, running in between studios and practice rooms and tour buses and photoshoots, he wouldn't have felt your absence as much. But now that the two of you had finally settled down, bought a home, and started your family, the newfound slowness to his life meant he was spoiled with time to spend with you. Hoseok had almost forgotten what it was like to be away from you for more than a couple of hours.

Which is why, now, with you deciding to return to your home country for some time, everything in your perfect home suddenly felt so out of place for your gloomy husband.

His shoulders hung as he swung open the refrigerator door, grabbing a cold bottle of lemonade from inside. He took a swig before making his way up the stairs and to the office, deciding to work on some lyrics to pass the time. He twirls a pen between his fingers, leaning back in his seat as he stares at the ceiling. He doesn't remember being so dejected about your departure when you'd left. In fact, anyone looking in from the outside would see that he was encouraging you to go. He knew how homesick you'd been for the past month. Your playlist of songs that reminded you of home seemed to frequent your search history more than others and you were unknowingly talking about your family more than usual. While Hoseok of course loved having you with him, he always felt slightly guilty that you'd basically uprooted your entire life when you decided to stay with him in Korea, especially knowing that it meant you'd be apart from your parents and siblings. Being as close as he was to his, he couldn't imagine how it must feel.

So he smiled as you threw your duffle bag over your shoulder and grabbed the handle to your suitcase. It wasn't until the door shut behind you that he realized he may have been slightly faking it all along.

You huffed, finally allowing yourself to believe you hadn't forgotten anything, as you scanned your bags one last time. Hoseok walks up to stand before you, followed by your two little duckling-like children. "Just go!" Hoseok laughs as Sage and Hui plop down at his feet. "You've checked your bags like five times now. And yes, I've been counting." You groan, laughing at yourself as well when you realize how silly you're being. "I just want to make sure I have everything!" Deep down, you know that maybe you're actually just not ready to leave the three of them yet.

You give up on checking your bags, knowing Hoseok will scold you if you open up another one to sift through. But as always, your brain runs a mile a minute and you're quick to find something else to busy your brain that stops you from leaving the house once again. "There's still salad in the fridge! Make sure to use it up before it goes bad okay?" you remind your husband to which he nods. "Okay, and um... Oh! I did laundry last night but it's still in the dryer so remember to bring it out please." Hoseok nods again as a smile creeps onto his face. He already knows this is just the start of a ramble session he'd have to cut you off from, lest you miss your flight. You did this every time the two of you were about to part for an extended period of time. "Okay, and what else?.. Oh, formula's in the cabinet, diapers are in the closet-" "Yes, yes, I have also been feeding and changing diapers for the past four years," Hoseok says, pointing to the two toddlers curled around his legs. You mentally smack yourself. "Right, right.." you huff, unable to think of anything more to add to your procrastination.

"You're going to miss your flight," your husband warns, pulling you into a last goodbye hug. You sigh wrapping your arms around him. "I know," you whine sadly. "I'll see you when I get back." "Mhm, bye baby," he says. "Even though we already said goodbye ten minutes ago," he snarkily adds and you laugh at your failed previous attempt to leave each other.

"Bye, mommy!" Your two-year-old, Hui, calls from his spot on the floor. "Bye sweetie!" you grin, leaning down to reach his eye level. "Are you sure you guys will be okay?" you pout at your husband. "Of course we will!" He cheers, reaching down to scoop the boy into his arms. "We're going to have so much fun, aren't we, son?" Hoseok reaches up to tickle his stomach, causing an eruption of laughter. "See?" Hoseok smiles at you, watching as the worry falls from your shoulders.

His pen clattering against the table as it slips from his fingers wakes Hoseok from his thoughts. His feigned coolness about your solo vacation was likely also to do with the two of you's kids, asleep a few rooms down. If there was anyone who should have such an adverse reaction to your leaving, it should be the toddlers. Hoseok knew the best way to keep them from trying to dissuade you with tantrums and tears was to be positive himself. And as hoped, his desire for you to fill the growing hole in your heart rubbed off on your children. Sage and Hui's combined maturity and big heart despite their young age helped them to understand the situation. Hoseok smiled at the thought of his smart kids. They were being raised well.

The rest of the day without you after you'd left had gone rather smoothly. Hoseok spent it having playtime, cooking dinner, and watching movies with the two as night fell. It wasn't until he'd stepped into his empty bed and felt the quiet chill of the house that the longing feeling began to sink in. And waking up to the empty bed once again was no better. Sage and Hui were his only distractions, but now, with the two of them tucked into bed for their regular afternoon naps, he found himself thinking of you once more.

Usually, the kids' nap times were you and Hoseok's holy grails. The two of you would synchronously plop onto the couch with a sigh after finally getting them down. It was one of the only chances the two of you had for alone time. Hoseok finds it funny that he's now wishing the kids would wake up sooner.

"Focus, Hoseok," he mutters to himself, directing back to the journal in front of him. He's finally able to start scribbling down some ideas when a small voice perks up beside him.

"Daddy?"

Hoseok nearly jumps from his chair, clutching his chest to stop the shriek that threatens to leave him as he looks down at the small body that's crept next to him. "Sage, sweetie, you scared me," he gulps. "Sorry!" she shrieks. He chuckles. "It's okay. You're up already?" he asks with a ruffle to her hair. The little girl furrows her brows up at him. "It's been an hour," she says, pointing to the clock above his desk. Hoseok looks up to see the time. Sure enough, she's correct. "Oh, I guess it has," he laughs. There's no one more punctual than a kid who hates nap time.

"But Hui is still sleeping," she adds. Hoseok lifts beneath her arms and sits her on his lap. "That's okay. We'll let him sleep for a bit more then," he says, kissing her cheek. Sage nods before twisting in his lap to face him. She stares up at him intently without saying anything, and Hoseok quirks an eyebrow at her. "What is it?" he asks.

"You've been sad since mommy left," she pouts.

Hoseok stares down at the little girl, wondering when she was able to draw that conclusion in between his happy smiles and giggles. He can't help but notice that she stares at him with the same studious expression that you often wear when you know something is wrong. He was never able to fake his emotions around you, which is why you were one of the few people he could be honest with. It seems as though your ability to understand him has been passed down to his little one as well.

She lifts the pen from his fingers and reaches down to his journal, scribbling down an image that he can only guess might be a bunny.

"When me and Hui miss you, mommy tells us to draw you a picture!" she smiles, scribbling away happily. Her cute voice warms Hoseok's heart. When she passes the pen back to him, two bunnies are doodled upon a bed of grass under a smiling sun in the corner. Sage looks up to smile cutely at him and all he can do is pull her into his chest and hug her tight.

He thought to all the pages of drawings he'd collected over the years that lay safely in his studio where he could look at them when he, too, missed his little babies. "You should try drawing a picture for mommy," Sage suggests with her soft voice. "It might make you feel better."

Hoseok smiles. "Yeah, I agree."

He brings the pen to the paper once again, adding two more bunnies, larger than the first two, and some flowers growing behind them. "That looks really good, daddy!" Sage encourages, clapping her hands together. "Mommy will love it!"

He laughs. "Thank you, baby," he lands another sweet kiss to the crown of her head. "But you're so good at this, I think your drawings might be a bit better than mine," he adds. She giggles making him smile wider. "Help me out?" he asks, passing the pen back to her. She nods happily, adding more doodles around the page before passing it back to Hoseok who does the same. The two continue on like that for quite a while, the room filling with laughter, smiles, and the sound of the pen dragging against the paper. In the midst of their doodle fiasco, Hoseok's phone rings, the screen lighting up with your image, signaling a video call from you.

"It's mommy!" Sage squeals, leaping forward to grab the phone and accept your call.

"Hi, guys!" you smile, happy to see two of the faces you've already missed so much. "I just landed in the airport. How are you, my loves?" "We're good, mommy!" Sage is quick to answer, too excited to see you. She lifts the page that she and Hoseok have been working on until it fills the camera. "Look, daddy and I drew you a picture!" You coo happily, the sight bringing a happy pout to your face. "Did you now?" Hoseok grins at your reaction. "Yes, we did," he says.

"It's beautiful you guys, wow. Thank you so much!" you beam. "I can't wait to see it up close when I get back."

"Me too," Sage responds with a jut of her bottom lip. "We miss you." "So much," Hoseok agrees. "I miss you all, too," you sympathize, adding with a reassuring smile, "But I'll be back soon!" Hoseok nods, giving a squeeze to the girl on his lap. You smile seeing the affection. "I love you guys."

"We love you too, mommy."

...

masterlist

A/N: Last note! I don’t know if anyone’s interested enough in these stories to do this lol, but if so I would like to open up a drabble or request list maybe. It could give me more ideas to write. Or also provide clarity for any parts of the storyline that might be confusing? I try to keep the storyline as concise as possible but with so many ideas in my head, I might jumble things up or forget to give context that readers might need and I haven’t provided yet. But, I don’t know! Just an idea :) If there's anyone who'd like to, just feel free to send them in!

...

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back2bluesidex · 2 years

Text

I FELL FIRST: 01 - JHS (M)

[MC's POV]

Summary: You have been with Him since the beginning. To you he was the only person that existed in the world, in your world. But to him, you are another pair of hands that clapped after each of his performance. Will it change when you secure a job in his dancing academy?

Pairing: Celebrity Choreographer!Hoseok X Reader

Theme: Angst, onesided pining, fluffy fluff, eventual smut, sexual tension

Warnings/Tags: Major angst, mentions of alcohol consumption, hardcore one-sided pining, a lot of deep talking, mature language, sexual thirst, Hoseok can appear to be an asshole but he's good at heart.

Word count: 5,655

a/n: I am kinda afraid, I don't know if you guys will like it or not. I write in first person since it feels more personal that way, hope you guys don't have any objection about it. Tell me how you like it, I reaaaaaalllllly wanna know.

Read Prologue for context

Next Chapter

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"You're my sunshine, my only sunshine

You make me happy when the skies are gray

You'll never know dear how much I love you

Please don't take my sunshine away"

The lyrics played in my ear and I got temporarily distracted by the picture of Hoseok hanging on the wall of the office room. I was way too busy to associate the lyrics with my life that I didn't know Ms. Kang, the head of the event management team and also my boss, was standing right behind me. She cleared her throat and I heard it since the volume of my earphones wasn't high. I turned to her and immediately stood up pulling the earphones out from my ears. "Good morning Ms. Kang" I bowed a little. "Good morning Y/N. Is your work almost done?" She asked. "I have a little more research to do on the venue. You'll have the file before lunch." I smiled at her. "That's good" she retreated to her cubicle.

This middle aged lady was much nicer than my former asshole boss. It has been two weeks since I was working there and I never gave her any chance of disappointment. My work was always an hour before the deadline and I have impressed her with my organising and research skills already and I could tell that she already liked me a lot. Good for me though.

She called my name again, shortly after getting seated in her place. "Y/N, I have a good news for you. Hoseok has come back and he will pay you a visit before the lunch break" she informed. "WHAT??" I exclaimed. She chuckled, seeing my surprised face. "Yeah. It's not a big of a deal Y/N. He usually visits every new staff member. Even if it's a new janitor. I believe you know he was in Japan for the past two weeks and he missed the chance of meeting you. He's coming back to the academy today so he'll pay you a visit. I'm sure you're on cloud nine now" she laughed. I wasn't even in the condition to reply to her. I was zoning out for a good 5 minutes until I realized I promised to complete the file before lunch.

Compiling every research item neatly in the file I hit the send button of the email. A sigh of relief escaped my lips. I was very particular about my work and I never liked to disappoint anyone, moreover, disappoint myself. Ms. Kang was out for about 10 minutes. I was lazily browsing through the file for one more time when Ms. Kang came back but not alone. My eyes landed on him, Jung hoseok, the man I'm crazily in love with, just at the exact same time when his eyes landed on me. An eye contact, an unexpected one, and I was left breathless. He smiled at me and I could promise I would have melted then and there. He walked right behind Ms. Kang, came towards me. White oversized Louis Vuitton t-shirt paired with a pair of ripped blue denim. His smile was constant, so was my gaze on him. I couldn't tear my eyes off of him even when Ms. Kang started to formally introduce me. I was just ogling him as if he is a lucid dream and he would vanish if I blink. I just realized how beautiful he looks from up close. He is ethereal. His eyes, his heart-shaped lips, his sharp nose, his jawline everything about him was perfect. And I fell for him even more.

I was pushed out of my trance when I saw him extending his right hand towards me. I touched his hand with mine as if he was the most fragile existence on earth and he would break if I put much pressure. And the contact! What could I even say about it? His skin? Perfect. Electricity? 100000 volt. As an impact my heart took up an erratic pace.

"Nice to meet you Y/N. Hope you're enjoying working here." He said with his smooth honey-like voice and I swear my name never sounded better. I was still searching for the words, "I-uh, y-yeah". I ended up shuttering. I have never felt more nervous. Not even during my interviews or exams. All along people told me that I make them nervous but I never got nervous around anyone ever before that too, this much. He chuckled seeing my messed up form. Oh my god! It was the best sound I have ever heard. I could record it and listen to it 24X7. He came a step closer making me redder than ever. My heart was about to jump out of my chest but the man didn't cease his actions, he even had the audacity to bend to my level and look directly in my eyes. Either he had a very clear idea of his impact on me or he didn't have a clue, there was no in between.

"You're pretty Y/N" he said in a low voice. I felt like fainting. Did he really need to do that to me? I was already head over heels for him and now his harmless flirting would make me blush all day long and I wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything else. And that's the exact thing that happened that day. He left the room shortly after but his essence lingered with me all the damn day. And that was just the first day of encountering him, would I even survive working there? I thought to myself.

------------

Time flies fast and I didn't even realize when it had been a month since I joined. All of it was a blessing for some good deed that I did in my past life. Especially because I never stopped seeing Hoseok as he never stopped visiting our work room. He visited at least once a day to check up on all of us. He even joined us during lunch when there is a good menu in anyone's lunch box. Once he even bought coffee for all of us. We had small talks here and there, shared jokes, lunches and desserts at times. And I was happy with it all. I was happy with life. I was finally doing a job that I actually liked, I had a good boss who always appreciated me for my hard work, I had nice co-workers who focused more on getting the work done than licking supervisors' feet and last but not the least I was able to spend time with the man I am in love with. Even if it was just for 30 minutes a day, it was enough. I was happy along with a little bit of heartache at the end of the day.

It was all fine until that one night. After a long meeting on the upcoming festival in which the academy is going to take part, we all were tired. It was a Friday so we decided to have drinks together.

The main building of the academy was rather smaller than the other branches. There were no students in this building, there were only teachers. Yes, all the big choreographies, training and planning took place in this building. Hoseok himself used to train the other teachers and celebrities here in this building. And other than the choreography team there were only an administrative team and an event management team. The members of the meeting were consist of 10 people, only the most important ones. None of us had enough energy to drive to the bars or the restaurants. So we decided on ordering food and alcohol in the building.

Hoseok and a member from the administrative team were the designated drivers for the night so they had to stay sober. Hoseok's alcohol tolerance was a joke anyway, it was better for him. As for me, my tolerance was decent. I just tend to act a little braver when I'm tipsy. So I didn't even think twice before taking up dare during that old kind of truth and dare game.

"Show us your tattoo," Ms. Kang ordered. I didn't hesitate before pulling down the round neck of my plain black supreme t-shirt enough to expose the skin under my collarbone. The "JH" tattoo was clear and beautiful as always. "Hey, that's the same as my initial!" Hoseok said giggling, clearly not knowing the truth. "Yes. That's your initial, tattooed on me" I smiled looking dead into his eyes, he was sitting beside Eunbi, the administrative assistant, and Eunbi was sitting just across me. "But why do you have my initial tattooed?" He asked, confused. "Because I'm crazily in love with you" I answered without thinking about anything else. My mind was hazy, it was just me and him at that moment. I forgot he was still my employer and I was there among 8 others. A small smile lingered on my face when I held an intense eye contact with him. He looked away and by his face I could tell that he was uncomfortable. "Okay, it's getting late already. Let's all go home" Ms Kang said, sensing the tense atmosphere and I couldn't be more grateful to her.

While coming back I insisted on coming back on my own but Ms. Kang was adamant on dropping me. Both of us ended up in a cab together since she lived only 10 minutes away from me. The silence in the cab was comfortable. I laid my head on the backseat and glanced outside. The deserted roads of Seoul reflected my deserted self. I finally told the love of my life that I loved him but his face after the confession shot daggers in my heart. The way I made him uncomfortable! Ah! How could I! Something in my gut was telling me that I was about to be heavily avoided. A silent tear rolled down my cheek just with the thought.

And guess what? My gut feeling is never wrong. Hoseok eventually decreased visiting the event team. Whenever he came it was purely for work. And whenever he was there, it was just a small nod with a small smile that I received. It was all my fault. I wanted to apologize to him so badly but the damage was done already. I didn't even have the face to say that I was feeling terribly sorry. I stayed away from him too. I didn't want to make him any more uncomfortable. But the pain of being ignored by the man who defines my day and night was something I never suffered before. It killed me cell by cell, tissue by tissue.

-----------------

Three more weeks passed like that and I gradually started to crawl back in to my shell. It was that night when the whole academy decided to have a karaoke party, I had to stay in. The smallest studio was converted into a karaoke room. Everyone was singing, dancing, drinking, all in all enjoying themselves. I stayed there watching them, actually watching him, while he watched someone else. Kim Somi, one of the prettiest girls I have ever seen, one of the most talented one as well. The one to have the eyes of Jung Hoseok. I have observed the way Hoseok looked at her. His eyes were always different when he monitored her. There was always an added admiration in his eyes which used to be missing in the case of others. He had a hint of jealousy when Somi's partner touched her a bit extra during the practises. There was always a lingering smile on his face when he saw Somi smiling. I had observed it all and I had willingly pushed myself to the edge of destruction.

I never knew Somi could sing this well too, no wonder why Hoseok was giving her heart eyes. He was so subtle and he believed no one knew. But then there was me, who had eyes always open for him. His eyes made me cry almost. And I questioned myself again and again, why wasn't I fortunate enough to be at her place. I wanted to run away so bad. Run away from this pain, from him, from this stuffy place and everything else. I did as I thought. I exited the room successfully without making anyone notice me.

I stood there on the balcony perceiving the night view of this beautiful city. My eyes were glassy and I blinked them rapidly to get rid of the tears. "Hey" someone called and I knew who it was. I waved at him without saying anything. "What are you doing here? Not enjoying the party?" Hoseok asked. "Uh.. I just needed a bit of fresh air." I replied. My pain was increasing but I realized it was the best chance to apologize to him. "Ah, Hoseok, I needed to tell you something. If you don't mind,'' I said. He visibly tensed with my proposal and the sight increased my chest burn even more. "Yeah sure, go ahead." He smiled a little. "I am really sorry for that night. I know I made you too uncomfortable but I didn't intend to do so. I know you have stopped spending time with the crew because of me. I'll stay away I promise. You don't have to distance yourself from them. They miss you. And once again I'm extremely sorry." I said it all in what feels like a breath. I was so damn tense and Hoseok felt it. He placed his palm on my shoulder and said, "calm down Y/N. There's no need of apologizing. I am not upset with you. It's just that…" he lowered his head, "I felt bad. I mean.. uh- I actually am sorry, you know. I felt too bad for you. You are such a beautiful human being and I adore you. You deserve someone who can love you with everything. But I am sorry…" he breathed out. "You're sorry for what Hoseok? For not being able to return my feelings?" I chuckled a sad chuckle. " Do you think I fell for you expecting you to love me back? If you did, then you're wrong, Jung Hoseok. I have been in love with you for a long time now and never once I expected reciprocation. Just you are enough, your presence is enough and it will always be enough for my not-so-demanding heart." I looked at him deep in his eyes.

"I know you must have thought I was asking you to be my boyfriend after I confessed without thinking anything that night. But trust me Hoseok, it is not that. I won't blame it on the alcohol solely. A part of me definitely wanted to let you know how I actually feel but I never looked for your reciprocation. I have been watching you since your street-dancer days. I have only missed two underground performances of yours due to my exams. I have congratulated you with your favorite white roses when you got your first job as a choreographer and when you opened your first academy. All of these I did without expecting anything from you and because I am thankful to you. You have been the one to stick to me when everyone else left. Your soulful performances are my escape. Your SoundCloud albums are my comfort place. If I am here right now that is because I wanted to be a part of your team and not because I wanted to come after you and throw myself and my feelings at you. I know my place well. So please don't feel sorry for not being able to love me back, I never expected that in the first place. I am more than happy just to be able to see you up close, just to get to talk to you, just to spend unexpected times with you like this. Please don't misunderstand me and take that away from me. Please." I finished whatever my heart was holding for all these times. I closed my eyes, I was afraid of his reaction.

"That… was… deep" he said slowly. I could tell that he was short of words. He continued, "I am sorry for misunderstanding you Y/N. I never thought love could be so selfless. I am grateful to have your love. I know I can't love you back like that and now I know you don't expect that either, so at least we can be good friends?" He said looking at me with a small grin. "Sure. If that's okay to you" I replied looking at him. "More than just okay" he said with a bigger smile. Both of us faced the city view now. After a while of being in silence he said, "so shall we go inside now?" "Umm… I think I will be here for a bit more. But you should head back. You're probably missing her already" I chuckled. "W-what? Missing whom? What are you talking about?" He was shocked. "You know what exactly I am talking about, Hoseok" I cocked an eyebrow. "Ho-how do you know? I never told anyone! Am I that obvious?" He was beyond shocked now and I almost laughed at him on his face even when my heart was breaking. "No, you're rather subtle but I am a bit more observant than average." I said, smiling at him, "so when are you asking her out?" "Uh! I don't know Y/N. It's just that I don't think she sees me as anything more than her senior. She never showed any interest in me as a person. And what if she ends up thinking that I'm a creep to ask one of my most talented dancers out?" He replied with a sigh. "How do you know that she's not interested you know? You're much more subtle than you should have been, Hoseok. You need to show her your interest to understand her reaction." I advised him. "How do I do that?" He questioned. I knew he was one of the least experienced people in the dating field and he might need some help. I was ready to help him, even if that destroyed me completely. "Just talk to her more about her and not only about dance. Ask her if she had lunch or not. Tell her she's looking pretty. Try to stay close to her, leave lingering touches. Bring her juices and stuff you dancers eat. And during all these, measure her reaction. Try to understand if she's taking it all positively or not. If yes then it's a green light. If she's uncomfortable then it's a red one" I said. He was looking at me with wide eyes. And finally after processing my every word he opened his mouth, "woah, you made it sound so simple." I chuckled hearing his compliment. "It's simple, Hoseok. Just try. Don't lose the person you like so much" I said trying to keep my tears at bay. "Thanks, Y/N. Thanks a lot. Now that you know my secret you better expect a lot of shit from me. I will be disturbing you a lot. And not only because of the secret but also because I would love to talk to you. For the past few minutes whatever you said made me realize a lot of things. I would like to keep talking to you. As a friend." He looked at me and the look broke me even more, as if that was possible. I just smiled silently. "And oh. You should call me Hobi from now on. My friends call me that. See you later" with that he left the balcony, leaving me broken or maybe powdered. My tears forgot how to stop flowing once he was gone. I knew he could never be mine but the confirmation from the man himself was tough to take in. He already had someone else in his heart and I wasn't that person. It was too much. It was all too much to take.

--------------

It was both good and bad that Hoseok and I clicked right away, as friends obviously. Good because I was at least his friend. Bad because I had to listen to how much the man I loved liked Somi. He would come to my cubicle randomly and blubber how cute Somi had been looking that day or how jealous he had been because of Somi's dance partner. Being a contemporary dancer, she needed her partner for most of her acts and Hoseok would get jealous whenever the partner provided Somi with some extra hugs and pats here and there. Hoseok would come straight to me and would vent out (only if he didn't have anything else to do). Or he would text me to come to the rooftop and then vent the shit out about how much he hates that partner of his crush. I would just look at him with an undying heartache and with a wish that someday someone would be just as much jealous for me too. Yeah, I wished for 'someone' cause I knew it would never be Hoseok.

"Do you think I should confess today? Will it be too fast if I do?" Hoseok asked. Somi asked for his special supervision for an upcoming performance. And obviously Hoseok was going berserk and there are reasons why. 1. Somi asked for the said supervision after classes, which means most of the building would be vacant. 2. It was a solo performance so the partner would not be there. 3. It wasn't a contemporary dance routine rather freestyle, in which Hoseok specializes. All in all it was a good chance to win over the girl. Moreover, it is quite evident that Hoseok is not the only one in the feels. The shy and sly smiles that Somi gave Hoseok whenever he complimented her told the truth. Sometimes I cursed myself for being too observant because I could even sense the sexual tension between the two when all of us would casually be hanging out after work. It was good for both of them but not for my heart, which was being smashed with every glance they shared with each other. So after today there's a huge chance that I might be loving someone else's boyfriend in the near future. "Y/N! Where are you lost today?" Hoseok waved his hand in front of my eyes. "I uh, the sky looks beautiful today. So I was just…. Leave it!" I sighed and continued, "about confession right? Do whatever you feel at that moment Hobi. I mean you should leave it on your heart, if it tells you to confess right then and there then just go ahead and confess. There's nothing called being fast when you're already pining over her for some good months." He looked at me with stars in his eyes and I almost misunderstood the gaze for a moment. "What would I do without you Y/N? I would have been totally lost and the progress that I have made with Somi couldn't be found if it wasn't for you." He said. A sad chuckle left my lips, "with me or without me Hobi, you would be living just fine. You would have found someone else to help you out. I am nothing but a passerby in your life, making almost no difference. Rather ask yourself what would you be doing if Somi wasn't here? Just the thought hollows your heart doesn't it? She's important. Someday if I change jobs and never meet you again, I will just become a part of your fragmented memory and nothing else. But if tonight Somi accepts your confession, she will be someone you can spend the entire life with. So, don't need to give me much importance, it increases my expectations and I hate to expect from human beings." I looked him in the eye. I knew my tone and my words were bitter. The bitter feeling that engulfed my heart produced it all. I thought being his friend would be enough for me but I was just lying to myself. and his sweet words did nothing but cracked my broken self even more, so I had to be bitter for saving myself.

I didn't really think he would reply but he did and left me speechless. "You may think whatever you want Y/N but it's not important for me to agree. To me you're not just a passerby because you behold much more importance than most of the people in my life. And maybe I could still think of my life without Somi, since I don't know much about her yet neither have I shared any heartfelt conversation with her. But it is actually hard to imagine you not being in the picture. If it wasn't for you, I never knew I could be loved so ardently. If it wasn't for you I would not have someone to send a sincere 'you have worked hard, good night' text at the end of the day. Not everyone would order an iced americano for me when I stay late in the studio practicing. And even if I had someone to do all these for me, it wouldn't be selfless like yours." He took a pause and came closer to my body. Cupping my cheeks with his warm hands while looking deep into my eyes, he said, "You ARE important to me Y/N. Much more than you think you are." Completing the sentence he pulled me into a warm hug. I felt him snuggling into the crook of my neck. I hugged him back putting my chin on his shoulders, my happy tears threatened to fall but I held back the urge to cry in the embrace of my sunshine. The entire world seemed to be like a happy place. His embrace felt like my home, cozy and warm. I didn't want him to let go so I hugged him even tighter, for once forgetting the fact that he can't be mine.

For the remaining time I couldn't really keep myself to myself. My heart felt warmer than ever. Only I knew for how many times I had touched my cheeks to feel his touch there. A faint smile lingered there for the entire time.

It was almost the time of going home when Ms. Kang requested me to make a copy of some agreement documents. I had to cross two of the studios to get to the copy room and one of the studios was for freestyle practice. Just the thought of crossing the studio made shivers run down my spine and I knew why. The door was open and music was on, signaling Hobi was supervising Somi. I took small steps towards the copy room. When I reached there near the studio, I tried hard not to take a look inside but my rationality betrayed me. I ended up looking inside and my heart immediately dropped into my stomach. The sight of Hobi holding Somi by her sides and Somi rhythmically grinding her hips on Hoseok's crotch area, made my head spin. The pleasure was evident on both of their faces. My eyes got blurry with the effect and I almost ran towards the copy room cursing myself for peeking into the room. I made the copy with my trembling hands and turned my heels back to return. I promised myself I wouldn't peek anymore, but again like a fool I betrayed myself. This time I ended my seeing them devouring each other's lips as if they haven't had anything for years.

That night, I cried my eyes out. I have never encountered this much pain ever in my life before. It was unbearable for me but still I couldn't make myself promise to move on. I just cursed myself for taking his "you're important Y/N" in a way I should have not. I still was just a friend and she was now his girlfriend. In a room full of people she'd be the one he would look for. It would not be me. It would never be me.

--------------

A month passed and Jung Hoseok and Kim Somi are now the most happening talk of the academy. Every time they were seen together everyone would talk about how perfect they look together. And me being a fool smiled at them agreeing to them while wiping tears away when they left. Seeing them together killed me everyday but it all seemed fine since Hoseok was happy. He often talked to me about how lovely Somi is, or about how big her smile was when he got her her favorite flower or how she intertwined her hand with Hoseok's and gave him kisses in front of that partner of hers. I consoled myself by telling myself that at least Hoseok is happy. That's all that matters. And I still was that friend of his, with whom he loved to have conversations, that should be enough for someone like me. Someone who was introverted, who didn't know how to dance well, who didn't know how to put makeup on her face, who was pretty indeed but not a doll like Somi, shouldn't not expect Jung Hoseok's heart. He was out of my league from the beginning.

"Now please be serious Y/N and tell me where I should take her for the date?" Hoseok said. I was busy making fun of his t-shirt which he decorated himself with his million dollar painting skills. I controlled my laughter and said, "trust me Hobi, about this one thing. I have no idea." He dropped his head at my response, "but! Okay then at least tell me as a girl where do you prefer going on a date?" He asked. I smiled a little and leaned on the headrest of the couch placed in the conference room of the building. "Me? I would love to visit the beach during the night time, it's even better if it's past midnight. I would love to take a beautiful walk barefoot through the seashore intertwining my fingers with yours… I mean with my date's. I know I sound like a romantic fool but I hate expensive restaurants. Those seem to be too superficial to me. So it's better if my date doesn't show up wearing an expensive suit expecting me to wear a dress worth millions only to eat steak at a boring restaurant. I would love to wear my oversized hoodies while he is clad into his comfort attire and he would back hug me during a chilled night watching the sea." I said it all imagining him and he probably imagined it all with Somi's face. I turned my face to see that he was already looking at me with an unreadable expression, "you know, you're different?" He said. "Yeah. I get to hear that a lot." I replied and he gave me that sunshine smile of his. "Whatever, it's better if you ask your girlfriend where she wants to go. I think it's better than asking every single person in the academy." I said. "Yeah, I guess so. But I only asked you tho." He replied. I only smirked and got up from the couch to head back to work with a heavy heart.

--------------

Day by day I realized how wrong I was when I thought being just friends with Hoseok would be fine by me. Because if it really was fine, I would not have to escape from the ongoing karaoke party again after finding them locking lips with each other even in a room full of people. The sight made me sick and I needed a dash of fresh air to regain my composure. The sky was cloudy and it was about to start raining. But I couldn't care less. I wanted to get drenched. I felt like I needed to wash it all away from me. So I didn't move an inch when the rain started pouring. I stood there on the rooftop feeling every single drop pricking on my skin. I liked the feeling more than I thought I would. It was refreshing. I forgot that I was wearing a white shirt and I had to get home. I forgot that my skin would be on view through the wet material of my shirt. I forgot all the rational thoughts and enjoyed the rain until a firm grip on my arm pulled me under the narrow shade of the stairway. The dim light of the shade made it clear that it was none but the embodiment of my love and pain, Jung Hoseok. I was pressed against the wall and he was towering over me. "Have you lost it?" He said in a low voice looking at my drenched face, "You're totally drenched". His eyes traveled down my body where my wet shirt was clinging to my skin. My gray bra was prominent leaving my cleavage at quite a sight through the material of my white shirt. I saw him gulping, as his eyes got stuck on my chest. He visibly shook his head and looked up into my eyes but only for a brief moment before his eyes dropped on my lips. He licked his lips while staring at mine. And I swear I saw him starting to lean down. I cleared my throat, gaining his attention and he backed away immediately from me. I walked away to the washroom leaving him there.

That night I was proud of myself, firstly for having some kind of power over Hoseok that he almost cheated on Somi. Secondly for not taking any irrational step being blinded by lust and love. No matter how much I loved him, he was still someone else's boyfriend. On another note, I decided to move on from him for once for better.

a/n: the next part will be Hoseok's pov so his thoughts his feelings will be explained. It will be better I promise. 💜

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Taglist:

@phenomenalgirl9 @scentedsope @teeheelittlebitch @betysotelo18 @jnghs @hobiewaifu @addictedtohobi @dreamsarenicee @definetlythinkimanalien @dreamer95 @cxbts

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jiminiesfavouritecolourisblue · 2 years

Text

What if... the CEOs were Hybrids? part two | BTS OT7 au

This chapter was made possible by @oknymz / @shadowofahope 💜💜💜💜 five minutes to spare, I made the deadline 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 11K words

Trigger warnings: swearing, possessive/obsessive behaviour, mentions of violence, alcohol, usual hybrid trope things

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Playlist : Dandelions - Ruth B, Can’t Help Falling in Love - Kina Grannis

Hybrids: KNJ - Wolf, KSJ - Bear, MYG - Panther, JHS - Lion, PJM - Arctic fox, KTH - Tiger, JJK - Bunny.

“They’re behind here I’m telling you,” Yoongi growls, staring a hole in the door to supply closet b, the only room that was locked.

They had been running around like fools in search of you, almost becoming feral with desperation.

Hoseok knocks on the door lightly, the taps not matching the fire in his eyes or the way his nostrils flared. It was faint, but your smell was here.

They hear the lock click, the door opening to reveal a smug sleepy Jungkook at the door, but that’s not what their gaze focuses on. There you are on the floor in Taehyung’s lap, sleeping in his arms. Jimin was asleep in hybrid form on your thigh, his little foxy face smushed against you. The tiger hybrid asleep with his back against the wall, holding on to you.

It’s a soft sight, it even melted their anger a smidge, having to force their jaws to remain clenched.

“Bunny was really tired,” Jungkook yawns. “She couldn’t sleep last night.”

“You three are dead,” Yoongi’s throat rumbles, his voice low not to reach your ears, but it reaches Jimin and Taehyung, their ears twitching to the sound, the threat rousing them from their slumber.

Jungkook’s instincts want him to fight or flight, but he stands his ground.

“We kept her away from the other employees, and we kept her safe,” Jungkook bites back, doe eyes turning stern as he lectures his hyung, a predator hybrid. “We didn’t take advantage of her, what’s the problem?”

Hoseok scoffs in disbelief, his tail agitated behind him, he doesn’t miss the accusation in the bunny’s tone. They weren’t going to be disrespected for making what they thought was the best decision, even if what Jungkook was hinting at held any weight.

“Ya locking her in a store room with three hormonal hybrids isn’t taking advantage of her?” Jin half whispers, half yells, eyes wide with exasperation, the sight would be hilarious under different circumstances.

“It's better than locking her in an office with four feral predators,” Jungkook seethes, eyes narrowing. The hypocrisy was unreal, he could smell the lingering scent of their horniness, even though it was masked by the desperation and fear their mate had disappeared.

“Ya Namjoon why aren't you saying any-” Jin’s voice gets caught in his throat as they all turn to the lead CEO. The wolf had his eyes dead set on the scene, his eyes blank of emotion, the sight has them all tensing, having seen this look before.

“Namjoon,” Yoongi calls for him delicately, trying to reach into the hole of thoughts he knew the wolf was burying himself in and pull him out.

Something snaps in him, his cheeks sucked in as a breath of angry air exhales from his nostrils. The tension can be felt heavily in the air, masked previously by their own emotions. Taehyung and Jimin, now fully awake by the sixth sense of an approaching storm, watch their alpha with fear creeping into their veins. The tiger holds you closer, ready to protect you from the oncoming danger, although in his sound mind he knows he’s going to be on the receiving end.

“Wake her up,” Namjoon’s voice is heavy, the command low and guttural, and each of their backs straighten to attention. “Seokjin hyung take her home, you three, in my office. Now.”

Any correction of ‘their’ office died in their throats as the wolf hybrid stormed away. They all release a breath they didn’t know they were holding, trying to downplay the goosebumps that made them shudder at the energy he left in his wake.

“Like I said,” Yoongi gulped, recovering from the menacing aura, trying to return to his stern demeanour, “you three are dead.”

—

The three of them stood with their heads low in submission in front of Namjoon’s desk, his eyes boring into them with so much heat they could feel themselves start to sweat. Hoseok and Yoongi were listening from outside, not willing to admit they were too afraid to go in.

“Did you tell her?” The deathly tone of his voice made them want to run, but they were frozen by the red eyes of their alpha.

“N-no we didn’t,” Jimin stuttered, knowing he needed to answer out of respect.

“She wondered why we were all scenting her, but she didn’t figure it out,” Jungkook explains, his little tail quivering behind him.

“Jungkook covered it,” Taehyung says, trying to placate the angry alpha.

“What did you tell her?” He stares down the bunny hybrid like the barrel of a gun ready to fire.

“I told her she was part of the pack,” Jungkook gulped. “Our hybrids recognised her as a packmate even though she’s human. That’s all.”

Namjoon nods, pacing behind his desk in thought. They were going to choke from the pheromones in the room. The wolf hybrid was emitting heavy miasmatic rage and the maknaes' knees were seconds away from giving out from the weight.

“She fell asleep in our arms Hyung,” Jungkook admits quietly against his better judgement, knowing that the lead CEO was in no state of mind to listen to reason but he still had to try, “that means she trusts us, she feels something for us.”

“She's human!” He seethes back, making Taehyung jump, “it means she was tired.”

They can’t find their voices to argue, letting the room fall back to that poisonous state of silence as they awaited the Alpha’s punishment of choice.

“The three of you are suspended for a week.”

The shock hit them like a slap, they were expecting a bigger workload, something that meant they couldn’t see you as much, not this. Not being able to see you at all, for a whole week?

“Hyung-”

“Argue with me and I’ll make it two.”

His foot was down and not budging an inch, they could see it in the way his jaw was set. As much as they wanted to complain they swallowed it down, a week without you was torment enough, they wouldn’t be able to handle two.

—

The air in the car is stifling… Jin was oblivious to it, or so you thought but it was obvious with the way your entire body was running like you had a fever from the embarrassment of waking up to six of your bosses staring at you! While you were in the arms of one of them! You couldn’t control the impulse, you buried your head in your hands and groaned. There were ice caps in the arctic melting because of the heat from your cheeks alone!

Jin tries not to, but he chuckles at your actions, trying to look nonchalant as he drives but you hear his little breaths of laughter, whining into your palms.

“If I call in sick tomorrow will you cover for me?” You ask the bear hybrid, your hands coming away from your face as you stare at him seriously. He was already having such trouble stifling his laughter, but the look on your face as you tried to conspire with him made him burst.

“Jin it's not funny,” you grumble, pouting over your predicament.

“Honey you don’t have to be embarrassed,” he says fondly, smiling as he steers onto your road.

Your stupid heart flutters at the term of endearment he introduced today, you couldn’t help thinking it sounded like you were a couple. As quickly as your heart swelled, it sank. You were just an employee, how many times did you have to tell yourself that?

You cough weakly into your hand, his eyes snap to you as if you’d grown a third head.

“Oh no,” you say dramatically, obviously faking, the back of your hand placed delicately to your forehead for good measure. “I must be coming down with something *cough* maybe I won’t be able to make it into work tomorrow.”

Jin sighs, for a second he believed you, the worry in his chest had his senses set to panic. You frown when he doesn’t smile at your joke, not a hint of it left from earlier, instead he's releasing a breath as if he had been holding onto it.

“Beautiful girl,” he sighs, his tone slightly berating you. “Don’t ever joke about things like that.”

After a day like today, with their mate smelling the way she did, the need to take you home, look after you, shower you with love, protect you from everything in their nest was overwhelming. Fear ran riot inside of them when you were ‘missing’, it was the worst prank those maknaes could play on them, and now a joke from your own lips about your health made his hybrid feel a sadness he couldn’t quite explain. It was mixed with the essence of failure, like if you got unwell, it would be his fault.

“Jin?” You call him out of his thoughts, his eyes swim with so much emotion as he looks at you, really looks at you. Your frown melts into surprise, not expecting to be attacked with that expression on his face. “Umm… Thanks for the ride.”

You try to smile but it's a nervous sight, you know he can hear your heart pounding, and you needed to save yourself from some embarrassment today at least.

“You really didn’t have to…” You open the car door, ready to make your escape. You wished you fought back harder, but he was adamant about dropping you home, the hell was he going to risk any hybrid on the streets smelling you.

“See you tomorrow Y/n,” he says when you step out of the car. The corner of his lips turn upward in an attempt to return your smile, but it doesn’t reach the sorrow in his eyes. You normally hate when they refer to you by name, they only did so when others were around, or when you were in trouble, but this didn’t feel like that. He said your name with so much weight you couldn’t understand it, only staring at him again in shock.

You recover a moment later, brows furrowing in thought as you close the door. He watches you enter your apartment building, leaning onto the passenger side of the car to watch the light come on in your complex. You were home, you were safe, he felt himself breathe a little in relief.

You weren’t theirs. The thought had been repeating itself in his head since you called his name minutes ago. As much as they loved you, wanted you, the facts were irrefutable. You weren’t theirs. He sighs deeply before pulling away, a silent drive back to their mansion to dwell on his thoughts.

—

There was a weight pulling you down in the office this morning. Your thoughts evidently elsewhere, that was clear to see on your face. Every few seconds you would catch yourself drifting before trying to shake yourself out of it, trying to focus on your work but you couldn’t. The guilt was eating you alive.

“Kim depyunim looks as pissed today as he did yesterday,” you can hear one of your co-workers gossiping.

“Wonder what's got him so stressed out?”

You could haphazard a guess. You fight down the groan that makes its way up your throat. Maybe he thinks you’re trying to seduce them, after yesterday's scene, you’re so sure you’ve disappointed him. He wasn’t there when you woke up, he must’ve walked off fuming at the sight of you cuddling up to his packmates. But then… Jungkook said they saw you as one of the pack so why… unless, you hadn’t been accepted by their alpha yet, and now you’re sure you won’t. You fucked up, you fucked up so bad by taking their friendship for granted, they were your employers, why did you forget that fact so easily?

“Earth to Y/n,” Yeri waves her hand in front of you face, the turtle hybrid had been talking to you for the last minute only to realise you had been spaced out.

“Huh- Oh sorry, what were you saying?”

She frowns at you, handing you the file for today's meeting while wondering what was going on with you. The second the file is in your hands your heart sinks, you hadn’t forgotten about it, oh no, quite the opposite. The entire evening you were thinking about it, the fact you would have to face your bosses at this meeting after yesterday's events.

It plagued you so bad it gave you nightmares, every hour you woke up after scenes of Namjoon yelling at you, or Yoongi refusing to speak to you. Hobi didn’t even look at you even though you begged him to with tears in your eyes. You know they were only dreams, they weren’t real, and yet they felt so believable that even now when you were awake you held some sorrow over them, as if they really did happen.

“Are you okay running the meeting, you don’t look great…” she comments, braced for you to faint or something.

Here it was, an opportunity for someone to take over, for you to run home and hide. But as much as you were terrified of their reaction to you, you worked so hard preparing for this meeting, your team was relying on you, and so were the CEOs. You had to deliver it, you had to show them you were worth working here. And plus, you fixed the problem anyway…

Yeri watches your face fall into a despondent state, were you okay? It was almost as if you were in mourning or something, and she felt too awkward to ask any further questions. What was wrong with you?

You only nod in reply, walking away from her in thought as you make your way to the meeting room. As always you were thirty minutes early, the room was empty as it normally was. You weren’t as efficient as you normally would be, your pace slow as you organised your material, set the room up to your liking. You didn’t even acknowledge when your colleagues made their way in and sat in their designated seats, but you felt it when they did. You back went up, a sixth sense you couldn’t explain when Namjoon stepped through the door, followed by 3 other CEOs. You didn’t make eye contact, you didn’t turn their way or greet them when your coworkers stood and bowed, you pretended as if you didn’t know they were here. But you knew they could hear your heart running like it needed to escape, your heavier breathing as you tried to calm down.

Yoongi can smell the anxiety, your back was to them as you sorted out the computer and projector, but he could see how tense you were. He glances at their company founder, who almost glared at you before swallowing down whatever thoughts he was having, pretending you didn’t exist. Sometimes the other CEOs wanted to get a chisel and hammer, and crack open that skull and see what the hell was going on in that head of his.

The lights dim before the presentation begins. You’re grateful for the darkness, thinking it would hide their faces from you, but when you turn around you realise it only enhances their intimidating demeanour. You felt like prey in the middle of a hunt, their eyes glistened in the low lights, and you knew they could see you better than you could them. The thought has a flood of vulnerability rush through your spine and chest, only increasing your growing anxiety like a tsunami. You take a deep breath before you begin.

Hobi’s gaze doesn’t miss the way your hands were shaking as you grip onto your notes for the meeting, the way you cleared your throat before you spoke. Under normal circumstances your presentations were captivating, you held the room, but today you didn’t even smile. All he wanted to do was wrap you protectively in his arms, rewind to yesterday when you were enjoying each other's company.

He sighs, Jin and Yoongi glancing at him briefly inquisitively, but of course they knew the thoughts that plagued Hoseok’s mind. They knew the maknaes weren’t being malicious in their revenge plot, they would never have ill intentions towards your wellbeing. The hyungs knew the youngest three were making a valid point in their demonstration yesterday, but the problem was they never thought it through, they never thought of or understood the consequences, the fallout, the way the older CEOs did. They could already feel your distance as you questioned yesterday’s events, your little brain working on overdrive, analysing everything.

Part of the lion hybrid wished Namjoon didn’t ban the cubs from the building during their suspension, they were so much better at keeping you close. He’s so deep in his thoughts, so busy absentmindedly watching your every move that he misses most of the meeting agenda, looking blank when the lights turn on and everyone’s eyes turn to the CEOs in the room. Thankfully Namjoon takes over.

“Good presentation Miss L/n,” he doesn’t look your way when he speaks, and it cuts you, you hated empty praise, you hated it when he used your last name, even in front of everyone. “I want team B to follow up on revenue, team A can hand over the files.”

“Well done for laying down the foundation for this contract team A,” Yoongi agrees, his eyes on you only, the praise directed at you even he said it to your whole group.

“Y/n you’ve got the best deal again,” Jin says fondly, smiling at you, hoping you’d return it. You bow politely at them instead as people gather their papers, ready to leave. The CEOs try to hang back, knowing you would clear your notes and linger behind to do so without distraction. Hoseok reads the material of what he missed, Yoongi pretends to small talk with Jin while they keep glancing your way. Namjoon answered questions from the floor managers, actually wanting to escape quickly but he was stuck listening to this imbecile.

“Should we stay late tonight to go over the material for the handover?” Alex asks you with a grin. Four pairs of ears instinctively lock onto the conversation, even the wolf’s.

“I can’t, sorry, I have a date,” you say bluntly, loud enough for them to hear, a tight lipped smile on your face. The hybrids reel back with shock, like you were intentionally trying to hurt them, but how could you? You didn’t know how they felt.

The whole meeting you could feel their gazes on you, more than just listening to the meeting. Their eyes had been interrogating, or it felt like it at least, so you said it to quell any ill intentions they might think you have, that you were another one of those employees who were desperate to seduce them. The second the words were out you regretted everything; saying yes to that stupid blind date, coming to work at all, and everything that happened yesterday.

“Excuse me,” you can’t even force a smile as you exit, your heart pounding in your chest when you feel their eyes pierce you, unable to handle it.

—

“A date? A fucking date!” Yoongi uncharacteristically yells at the other three in the office, Hoseok and Jin leaning on the walls behind their respective desks, both appearing despondent staring at the floor, Namjoon pretending to read the files in front of him, ignoring them. “How can she go on a date when yesterday we-”

He sighs exasperated as his fingers comb through his hair in frustration, one hand on his hip as he shakes his head. Yoongi never raises his voice like this. He got angry yes, but his rage was always cool and calm, unless of course it regarded you. How could you flaunt this in front of them when yesterday you were bonding, scenting, SLEEPING with them? Why were humans so dense? He was so sure deep inside of himself you returned their feelings, but now, he was losing hope you did at all.

“Namjoon stop pretending to read we can smell the burning pot you’re trying to put a lid on,” Seokjin reprimands him, trying to contain his own fury at the CEO, partly blaming him for your sudden interest in dating. In all the years they’ve known you, not once have you been with someone else, they would have smelt it on you if you had, so why now? Why were you pushing them away after yesterday? As much as they wanted to pry open Namjoon’s skull, he wanted to read your mind more.

“It's her choice to-”

“She doesn’t know we’re an option because you wouldn’t let us court her,” Yoongi spits, tail agitated behind him as his pupils almost turn into slits.

The wolf hybrid has to force his jaw shut to not bear his teeth at his packmate's aggression, his eyes glinting red as they stare the panther hybrid down.

Hoseok scoffs at their behaviour, at the situation.

“Good thing the maknaes aren’t here,” he thinks out loud. They would have lost it, plotted some game or plan to stop you, but maybe that was what they needed. As diabolical as it sounded, every bone in his body wanted to stop you. “Should we tell them?”

“It’s none of their business,” Namjoon snaps, his nose flaring. “It’s none of our business, she’s our employee, she’s allowed to date whoever she wants. Her private life is just that, we don’t get involved.”

He stares each of them down, the pot reaching boiling point. Each of them deflate into submission, even Yoongi, his shoulders sinking, his gaze falling to the floor. Their alpha’s pheromones were strong in presenting his wrath, but it couldn’t hide the scent of misery and ache.

Yoongi walks up to his desk, his head still bowed but the adrenaline in Namjoon’s system still had his back up as he watched the panther wearily. His best friend can barely look him in the eye, not out of respect for their pack leader, but because for the first time in his life, their alpha let them down. Namjoon swallows down his own sorrow, his own regret that’s caused this rift between them.

“Our mate is going to let another man court her,” Yoongi explains solemnly so every word is heard and understood. “Another person is going to put their hands on her, we’re going to smell him on her. Why are you pretending that's okay?

You love her just as much as I do.”

He doesn’t wait for a response, storming out of the office before his rage built again and he ended up punching the wolf for his stubborn stupidity.

—

You could cancel, would that quell the growing anxiety inside of you? But the whole point of this date was to move on from this unrequited infatuation with them that was boarding on pathetic. You’re sure Namjoon’s caught on, why else would he look at you like that during the meeting? He must be so disgusted and disappointed in you.

Jimin, Tae and Kookie would tell you what was going on inside their alpha’s head, they didn’t hide things from you, you could actually call them your friends. What if this whole situation took them away from you? What if Namjoon told them you were just like everyone else, trying to get close to them for an agenda. Is that why you hadn’t seen them yet?

As much as you told yourself you needed to create a professional distance and set boundaries before any misunderstandings could form, you couldn’t lie to yourself that you didn’t want anything to change, you didn’t want to lose them or what you had with them. Was that so selfish? You didn’t want to lose them, you didn’t want them to hate you, and you didn’t want to feel like this anymore. Like your love for them was wrong.

The office was bustling around you and yet you were still, a mountain of work sat on your desk and you couldn’t even glance in its direction. You should’ve called in sick.

“Y/n!” Jackson calls for your attention, standing beside you, frowning at your despondency, almost the same look he saw on one of his bosses moments ago. The Golden retriever hybrid was the perfect secretary, unflinchingly loyal, and able to read every emotion cue before they even presented. Something was going on, and his instincts told him to stay out of it.

“Hey,” you greet him, his presence jolting you into starting to go through the pile of work, even if it was just to look busy.

“Min Depyunim needs you in his office ASAP,” he instructs.

His frown deepens at the way your heart rate skyrocketed, the growing anxiety perspiring from your skin.

“Did he say why?” you ask with a gulp, your eyes wide like a prey hybrid.

“No, just that it was urgent.”

You only nod in reply, not trusting your voice as you leave your desk. Each step to that office would normally bring you a sense of comfort, anticipation in the best kind of way, but today your shoes were filled with lead. You hold an empty folder against your chest as if that would offer you any defence.

The door opens before you knock, your fist in the air as you come face to face with Yoongi. The panther hybrid detests eye contact, it was more a sign of aggression in the hybrid world, but now his eyes were boring into yours, pleading you without words. Both your faces mirror a sense of sadness, your voices caught in your throats. His hand wraps around your wrist that was still caught midair, pulling you in when you made no move to.

His office still had hints of yesterday, he locked it after you left, not wanting the cleaning crew to erase your scent or the evidence of your bonding session. The windows were closed, but the air in the room wasn’t stifling. Even though you were human, the room was calming your tense composure. That is, until your boss opens his mouth.

“I need you to stay late and help me with a new merger,” he announces, his stoic stare almost daring you to defy him, but behind that demeanour he was nervous.

You stare back in shock, he knew you had a date. He heard you at that meeting, you're sure of it, so why?

“Kitten?” he searches your face for a hint of something, anything. “It's an important deal, I need my best girl on it.”

You take a deep breath at the compliment, your heart fluttering against your wishes. Your skin flushes with heat, and you hope his hybrid senses can’t pick up the warmth you're suddenly emitting. Here it was… a way out, a way to just go back to how things were. You could say yes.

“I can’t,” you shake your head, looking away from his penetrating gaze before it coerced you into giving in. “I have plans, I’m sorry I can’t.”

“Cancel.” The word comes out like a command before he can correct himself. “Reschedule, this is important.”

The folder in your arms is squeezed closer against your chest, your eyes close, you almost look like you’re fighting with yourself.

Give in Kitten, come on, did you really like this guy? Did you really not want him and the others? They were so sure, with the way you reciprocated their affection, that you felt the same. The idea that you didn't, sent a stabbing pain straight through his chest.

“I can’t, I’m really sorry,” you wish he knew how sorry you were, fighting to keep your eyes from watering. You didn’t want to go tonight, but you were forcing yourself to.

“Why?” he fights the growl from his voice, his eyes piercing you.

“I just can’t,” you hold back the sorrow in your tone, but he can still hear it, realising he was possibly putting you between a rock and a hard place. He tries not to scoff, tries not to take it further, but he can’t help himself, he was so pissed at this situation, the idea that someone else was getting to be with you in every way he wanted to be.

“Miss L/n this deal is important-”

“You’ve said that,” you cut him off, arguing back. You hated when he called you that. Every time he was annoyed with you, every time you made a grievous mistake back when you both didn’t get along, he used your surname in that tone, and this time it irritated you. “But I’ve read my contract, I don’t have to say yes.”

He takes a deep breath, both your spiking distress starting to destroy the previous ambience of his office, and he didn’t want to lose it. He walks away from you, trying to cool down, only turning back when he reaches his desk, hoping the distance would give him a chance to breathe.

“Will there be repercussions Min Depyunim?” you ask, your eyes staring daggers into his softening features. He shakes his head, looking down at the ground between you, disgusted with himself. He was so desperate for you not to go, was he really going to force you to stay?

You sigh, Min Yoongi doesn’t back down, not with you. He gave in to you when you needed him to, but he never backed down when you playfully bickered, and definitely not when you argued.

“Yoongi are you okay?” Your glare dulls, the concern for him easing your temper.

“The cubs explained that we all see you as part of the pack right?” His head is still angled to the floor but his hooded eyes look up at you.

You nod slowly, his words sinking into you slowly since they came from nowhere.

“You don’t smell like us today, it’s put us on edge,” he lies. “Can I scent you kitten?”

He could hear your heart pound against your ribcage, trying so desperately to run to where it belonged, in his arms, in his hold. You were their mate, your body knew it, why didn’t you?

You hesitate. Every single repercussion and consequence ran through your mind telling you to say no, but you didn’t care, not until a certain wolf hybrid’s glare entered your head. Yoongi can see your eyes glisten with wherever your thoughts were going, the way they were imploring him to pull you out of whatever melancholic place they were taking you.

“Come here,” he orders, sitting on his desk with his legs open for you to stand in between. He doesn’t miss the shift in your eyes as they dilate at the preposition, the way your breathing gets heavier.

Seriously, does he want to kill you? He wants you to stand there, he didn’t do it like that yesterday. His stare compels you to walk forward, your grip still digging into the folder in your arms, but when did you ever need a shield against Min Yoongi? As soon as you’re close enough he grabs your hand, pulling you closer to him. He smirks as you try to avoid eye contact, shuffling where you stood. He takes that damned file away from you, throwing it somewhere on his desk.

You feel vulnerable without it, yet there was something exhilarating about the position you’re in. Your scent changes, a ghost of yesterday’s intensity, but the subtle smell was enough to get his panther preening. His arms wrap around you, his face buried into the juncture of your neck. He rubs his nose against your skin, his ears perking at the way your breath hitches.

You jump when there’s a knock on the door before it opens, the panther possessively not letting you budge as you panic. He scowls at the door, ready to tear into Namjoon if he was interrupting again, not giving a shit as to what their alpha thought anymore.

“Hyung- Oh,” Hoseok’s mouth forms a perfect circle in shock, his eyebrows rising at the sight and audacity of the older CEO. He locks the door when he walks through, his features composing as he smirks at Yoongi. There was no need for anyone else, or their pack leader to walk in on this.

Your little fight against Yoongi’s hold ceases when you realise your efforts are futile, your head dropping to his shoulder in defeat, and with the way your skin was burning, embarrassment.

“Kitten, are you hiding from Hobi?” He sniggers, unable to resist teasing you. It was odd, having this moment with you all while knowing you were going to be with someone else tonight. Bittersweet didn’t seem like the right word, it was crueler than that. His tail wraps around your thigh at the thought of having to let you go, he didn’t want to.

You didn’t realise how touchstarved you were until you felt his soft fur on your skin, melting into his hold a little more. Maybe you really did need this date if the only place you were getting an inkling of physical attention was your seven bosses, perhaps that was what caused this dilemma in the first place, maybe you were just confused about your feelings because you hadn’t had any romantic interests since you started working here. Maybe it was just a stupid crush and you were overthinking everything. As much as you tried to convince yourself, you knew you were lying.

Hoseok’s arms wrapping around you from behind underneath Yoongi’s pulls you out of your sinking thoughts. He nuzzles his cheek against the top of your head, scenting you to soothe that sour flavour seeping from you. When your aroma settles back to its natural sweetness he’s satisfied with his work, resting his chin on the other side of your head on your shoulder.

“Sunshine, why are you being shy?” he whispers into your ear like he’s sharing a secret, chuckling when you bury yourself further into the panther hybrid. There’s an amused breath of laughter from the CEO you were trying to cocoon yourself in, but his heart swells at the fact you were seeking comfort in him.

“Hmmmm,” he pretends to pout, pressing his lips against the sliver of skin showing on the juncture of your shoulder and neck. “Should I leave sunshine?”

You shake your head against Yoongi, one of the hands that was gripping onto his shirt, coming away to hold onto the sleeve of the lion hybrid behind you before he had the chance to pull away. He smiles fondly at the action even if you weren’t coming out to play. He kisses the back of your head quickly, using your current state to his advantage. He feels you stiffen slightly before you relax again, your heart is hammering so hard he can feel it through your back. His eyes glance at Yoongi, a silent communication shared between them both, the same thought echoing through their minds. It might have been wrong, it might cross every boundary Namjoon told them to avoid, but they would scent you so intensely that if you were with a hybrid tonight they would suffocate on the stench. They would cover every available inch of you in their smell that every hybrid would know you were accounted for. They didn’t even want to think about what they would do if the stupid person you were seeing was human.

Hobi rests his forehead against the back of your head, wishing he could just read your thoughts. Why were you doing this to them? His embrace tightens, his sunny disposition clouding. He didn’t think he could handle it, if you came into work smelling of someone else. Something sharp grips his chest, like a thousand thorns piercing into the flesh, trying to claw its way into his heart. He wants to beg you not to do this, but the words get caught in his throat.

He closes his eyes, sniffing your hair subtly before it would become tainted by someone else, trying to lock it into his memory as if this was the last time he’d see you. He was usually so content in your presence, always eased and comforted by just your smile or laugh. But now he was fighting back tears, feeling like you had slipped out of reach even though you were here in his arms. He feels another hand on his other arm, recognising Yoongi’s touch. The lion hybrid was pouring out a damp essence with his sorrow, unbeknownst to you, but the older CEO could sense it. Maybe a part of you could too, your thumb starting to stroke his arm soothingly making him ache.

Why didn’t you want them the way they wanted you?

—

Day one of not being able to see you and they were already a mess. Three Hybrids laid in Jungkook’s room, staring at the ceiling wondering where it all went wrong. The bunny hybrid took the bed, Taehyung was on the floor, the oldest maknae on the bean bag. They were in here all day, feeling lost without work, well not work, without you. They didn’t realise how much they looked forward to their day because of you until Namjoon took it away from them.

“This week is going to be torture if all we do is contemplate our life choices,” Jungkook states blankly, his stare still on the ceiling.

“It’s already torture,” Taehyung huffs, clutching onto the pillow he stole from the bed earlier. “Did you hear him last night tell Hyung he had plans for us when we got back.”

He shudders, his chin digging into the soft material in his hands for comfort. He may have been a tiger but their alpha could instil fear in anyone, regardless of rank or breed.

“What plans?” Jimin asks, his head rising to look at his best friend on the floor.

“He’s going to make us work on another floor,” Taehyung replies sadly, his whole face falling from despondency to complete heart break.

Jimin groans, pushing his hair back in frustration as his head hits the beanbag again.

“He can’t do that,” Jungkook says quietly, terrified at the prospect that the one thing that keeps him sane at that dreaded building was going to be kept away from him.

“He can,” Jimin spits before whining, “this is so unfair, he’s overreacting and he knows it.”

“I’ve never seen him so mad at us before,” Taehyung sniffs.

Jimin sighs, not wanting to add to the melancholy infecting the tiger hybrid.

“Maybe he’ll come to his senses before we’re back at work,” he tries to sound hopeful, but it fools no one.

“Even if he does, we still have a week of suspension,” Jungkook scoffs. “He won’t back down on that just to prove a point.”

They sit in silence, stuck in this purgatory without you.

“Right!” Jimin sits up with a clap, looking at the other maknaes with an expression that could only be described as displeased. “We can sit here all week, or we can distract ourselves.”

“How?” Taehyung asks with a pout.

“Treat it like a holiday,” Jimin suggests. “Let’s go out before the hyungs come home.”

Jungkook sighs, it wasn’t a bad idea, but it would have been better if you were part of the equation.

“Where do we go?” he tries to give into the proposition but he wasn’t feeling it.

“I don’t want to get hit on,” Taehyung announces, the insinuation in his voice clear, that meant nothing too public, or anything too high end.

“We’ll clear out the VIP lounge at our club,” Jimin shrugs.

“Which one?”

Their company owned a few but they were more personal entrepreneurial revenues, Hobi, Yoongi and Namjoon owned Cypher, a more underground clubbing scene. Hoseok owned another with Jin and Jungkook called Jamais Vu, while Jimin shared Dionysus with the panther and their alpha.

“What difference is sitting in a club going to make when we can sit here?” Jungkook grumbles. “What's the point?”

“We have a week of hell Jungkookie,” Jimin stands, walking over to the bunny hybrid pushing him to get up. “Let's try to survive it.”

“I don’t want to go clubbing, I don’t feel like dancing,” Taehyung mopes.

“Aish you both are killing me,” Jimin complains, still trying to budge the maknae into moving. “What about your bar Tae?”

He contemplates it, eyes looking up as he thinks it through. Scenery was normally quiet, only bringing in the older generation since it was a jazz bar as unique as the tiger hybrid himself. The others didn’t think it would do as well as it had but some people wanted the gentle calm compared to the rioting lights and loud music. It was huge so even if it were a busy night it never felt like it.

“Yeah Jungkook let’s go,” he agrees after deeming the suggestion acceptable.

The youngest groans, his arms covering his eyes in protest, pretending to sleep.

“Jungkook, do you really want to stay here and hear the hyung’s gloat about their day with Y/n?” Jimin sounds solemn, making the bunny peer at him.

No, he didn’t want that at all.

—

“Explain to me how this is different to staying home?” His nose twitches cutely, watching Taehyung’s regular patrons enjoying their evening, not missing the way most of them were couples. Jimin can’t help laughing at the pout and grumpy eyes the bunny was adorning,

“This place has alcohol,” Jimin giggles, already on his third drink.

“We have alcohol at home,” Jungkook mumbles back, leaning back in their booth near the back of the establishment while Jimin signalled to the bartender for a top up.

“So much for not dancing,” Jimin chuckles at the sight of the tiger hybrid dancing on his own, perfectly content surrounded by the couples, not a care in the world. He catches them watching, giving them both a shy smirk, teeth biting into his bottom lip as he grinned.

“We should invite Flower here,” Taehyung says a little breathlessly as he slides into the booth next to Jimin, seemingly having had enough of the dancing.

“You know hyung banished us from the office,” Jimin thought out loud, “he didn’t say anything about contacting Angel out of hours.”

Jungkook snorts at the logic.

“I think it was insinuated,” he rolls his eyes, the pair of them instigating an argument about the topic while Taehyung watches chuckling.

“What hyung doesn’t know won’t hurt him,” Jimin shrugs.

“How many times have you said that-”

But the tiger hybrid doesn’t hear the next words, his face turns blank as his senses tune into the sound of the door opening, the little bell ringing. He doesn’t understand why he can suddenly feel his heartbeat harder in anticipation, his sixth sense taking over control of his body. There’s a gust of wind, a gentle breeze he can feel through the open door, and with it a familiar scent.

“How many times do you drag us into trouble?” Jungkook was still squabbling with the arctic fox, the pair of them unaware of their friend’s wavering attention.

“Taehyung tell this kit-”

They both turn to the tiger hybrid, taken back by his look of shock until they follow his line of sight. Their hearts stopped, taking all the life out of them in a single gasp. Was that really you or was it a mirage from their abstinence? Jimin and Jungkook are about to smile until they notice what Taehyung already had. You were sitting at the bar in front of them, seemingly alone until they saw the man you were with bring back two glasses. The smile you give him has them sobering.

Taehyung growls so deep that anyone would think he was in his tiger form, his eyes glow with a tint, penetrating that spot the bastard had his hand on your back. Jimin and Jungkook fare no better, a solemn fury burning through their sudden glares, and you must’ve felt the heat because you turn like they called your name, your gaze meeting theirs.

You turn away quickly, feeling like you got caught cheating which was absolutely ridiculous. You shouldn’t be feeling guilty, so why was it eating you alive? You tried to smile at your date as he leaned in to ask if you were okay.

Jimin scoffs at the sight, a humourless breath of laughter escaping as he shakes his head, who the hell did this idiot think he was? Why were you with him?

“Are they friends…?” Jungkook tries to keep the venom out of his voice, tries to dispute the idea you were out romantically with this asshole.

“If it was friendship they’d be out in a group,” Jimin comments. “Look at their body language, his especially, my little vixen is out on a date.”

The possessive lilt in his tone is intense, his glare burning your back. There’s a rumble from Taehyung’s chest at his words, the tiger’s tail whipping so hard you could hear it slice the air.

What the actual hell? Of all the places to see the CEOs, of all the nights, why this one? Why here? Your heart was thundering in nerves, you tried so hard to swallow but your throat had run dry, and your hands were shaking so bad you didn’t think you could pick up your glass.

“Hey, are you sure you’re okay?” Eric asks you for the second time, your date so far had been fine, but even though it had only really just started you were so ready for it to end. He seemed like a lovely guy, not too eager, a little bit goofy and funny in a way that wasn’t his whole personality. But the second you met him, you saw all the ways he wasn’t them, and you realised that wasn’t fair on him.

You were trying, really truly trying to give this a chance, but those three intense stares you could feel on the back of your head reminded you of all the reasons why you didn’t want to.

You didn’t need this. The whole point of tonight was to build boundaries and distances, how were you supposed to do that when they were here.

“This place is something else,” he says trying to make conversation, looking around at the decor and beige tones. You couldn’t tell if he liked it or not. “So why did you want to come here?”

“Umm, I don’t know,” you admit. “There’s just something about this place that seems familiar and comforting, you know?”

Oh the irony of your words. You needed familiarity and comfort around you when you were stepping out of your comfort zone, but the three hybrids behind you had destroyed that plan.

Eric smiles at you in a way that lets you know he didn’t get it, it makes you laugh at the foolishness of your words. At least he laughed with you, the atmosphere only lightening a smidge.

“For a place that you like, you haven’t touched your drink,” he notes, looking at both your pints, yours was full, his halfway through. Fuck it, you needed something to take the edge off. His jaw drops in surprise as you down the whole thing, the glass coming down empty onto the bartop. “It wasn’t a challenge.”

You catch the amusement in his eyes, rolling yours jokingly with a smile. You could do this, you could totally handle being out on a date with the three of seven of the loves of your life watching you. You hiccup, did you really just think that? You were meant to think ‘three of seven of your bosses watching you’, you didn’t mean what you thought before. Shit, maybe you drank that a bit too quickly.

“Top up?” he asks, picking up your glass as he finishes his own, walking away to the busy barkeep when you nod. You didn’t want another drink, but you needed to breathe. For a second you forget something glaringly obvious, until three bodies join you where you’re sitting. You blink repeatedly at the stern expression of the arctic fox hybrid next to you, wondering if he were really there. The scene resembles something familiar to you, a mirror of how they would join you at your desk at work, but his eyes spell trouble in a way you don’t think you’re used to.

“Did you miss us, my little vixen?” Jimin asks, his voice low, the smirk on his face dangerous.

“Huh?” You only gawp at the question, your mind drawing blanks and failing to comprehend his words at all with his body so close to yours.

You hear a scoff on your otherside, turning to relieve yourself of the oldest maknae, only to meet the possessive anger in Jungkook’s gaze, Taehyung next to him, leaning on the bar, ignoring you.

“She didn’t even notice we were gone,” Jungkook comments, his tongue pushing hard against his cheek in frustration, believing his own words. “One day with the hyungs and she forgets all about us.”

He sniffs the air, not missing the way your skin was drenched in Yoongi’s and Hobi’s scent. Well your date was definitely not a hybrid, any right minded one would sense the obvious courting markers and run a mile, especially when it was a couple of predators that had done the scenting.

“The hyungs obviously haven’t done a good job keeping you company angel,” Jimin says, glaring at the advancing human walking their way. He puts on his best fake smile, ready to lull his new prey into a false sense of security before he takes you away.

“Y/n?” Eric looks at the men that joined you, frowning in question.

“E-Eric, umm these are my bosses from work,” you try to keep your features calm, but nothing would hide the alarm in your eyes. There's a low growl next to you at your statement, Jimin’s disapproving stare berating you more than his words could.

“Oh,” he says nodding, trying to understand the situation because something didn’t feel right. “What a small world…”

Jungkook scoffs again, what an idiot? Why were you here with an idiot?

“I hope we aren’t interrupting,” Jimin continues, that faux innocence in his voice not matching the devilish smirk on his face. “But the more company the better right?”

Eric now realises what was wrong with the scene in front of him, you were here on a date with him, but with the way the hybrids were surrounding you, he was nowhere near you. He was on the outside looking in, like the three men were purposefully keeping him at a distance, away from you. He awkwardly places the pint as close to you as he could… or as close as they would allow.

“Taehyung actually owns this bar,” Jimin gestures to the silent tiger before taking a sip of his drink. “What are the chances we’d run into you here?”

You can’t think of anything to say, your mouth kept opening and closing intermittently, you couldn’t meet anyone’s gaze, especially not your date’s. All the times you wished the ground would just swallow you up to escape, this was the hardest you prayed for it. Your hands fidget on the bar, fingers playing with each other, the uncomfortable air stifling. A large palm covers your own to quell the growing anxiety he could smell, your eyes pulled towards the culprit. Taehyung hadn’t said a word since they saw you, but his hand engulfed both of yours, unable to stand his mate in distress even if there was a volcano in the pit of his stomach ready to blow. He still doesn’t look at you, stoically staring ahead at nothing even with your eyes on him.

Eric’s frown turns comical at how intently he stares at your connected hands, adding numbers together but not yet reaching a conclusion despite how obvious the answer was. He tries to side step closer to you but the way the rabbit hybrid was standing behind you, curving his body to your right side, there was no way he could close the distance.

“Y/n do you want to dance?” he asks instead, if he couldn’t come in, he would pull you out instead. Did your bosses not realise you were on a date? Should he make it obvious you were to avoid any awkwardness?

Their backs stiffen, the palm covering your hands tighten their hold almost in warning if not desperation to stop you. Jungkook grunts in anger, the sound falling deaf on the human’s ears but not yours.

Cat got your tongue Kitten, dammit why could you hear Yoongi’s smug voice in your head now of all times. Y/n say something, you beg yourself. You don’t miss the sound of two tails sweeping through the air in agitation, trying to work out why they were behaving like this, until it clicked.

If they thought you were part of the pack, then it was only reasonable to assume they’d be protective over anyone approaching you. You’d seen it before amongst themselves, the way they’d act if someone tried to hit on one of them. That must be it.

“You go ahead,” you finally say with a tightlipped smile. “I’ll be there in a second.”

Although confused, your date decides to do as he’s told. You could feel the tension in their shoulders relieve with each step he took away from you.

“Are you guys okay?” you ask, they weren’t at work today and now you’re sure their moods were bitter bordering on bursting, something must have happened. They look at you in disbelief, Jimin laughs humorlessly shaking his head at how oblivious you could really really be sometimes. What excuse did your human brain come up with now? He had to know. How did you see all the signs they were giving you and translate them into something so ridiculous?

“Are you on a date?” Jungkook asks venomously, eyes holding yours so piercingly you have to remind yourself he wasn’t a snake hybrid.

“I-I am,” you try to sound confident. “Look, thank you for watching out for me, but Eric is fine.”

You try to smile, you really did, but you don’t know who you were trying to convince.

How could you not hear their hearts shattering? Of course they knew, but until it was out of your mouth it wasn’t solidified, it couldn’t be true. There’s a small whimper expressed from the maknae that he couldn’t control.

“And I should probably be getting back to it,” you sigh, standing up from the barstool, trying to ignore the way they were all holding onto you in some way. Jungkook’s hands ghosted over your arms, wanting to pull you back in your seat but he’s resisting the urge as much as it killed him. Taehyung’s hand lingers on yours for as long as he could before they’re gone. Even the back of Jimin’s forefinger was tracing your arm lightly as you stood, the anguish on all of their faces apparent. How could you be here with someone else when yesterday…

Yesterday you were in their arms, all afternoon. They scented you, they courted you, they looked after you. And you returned it all. How did that mean nothing to you? Were humans really that callous or so indifferent? Not you, they couldn’t believe you were that way, but the evidence staring at them as you started to walk away.

Taehyung can’t stand it, his teeth grinding hard as he grabbed your wrist and pulled you next to him, startling you with the sudden way your body jerked to his command.

“Tae-”

The low ferocious rumble from his chest silences you. His eyes avoided you the whole time he came to stand beside you and now they burned into yours, an unforgiving fire making them glow. Taehyung sits on the barstool next to yours, spreading his legs as he places you between them. The position is familiar, you were in a similar one earlier with the panther hybrid, but the glint in his eyes has it feeling so different. Your breathing turns so heavy you’re almost panting, his face so close to yours, all your senses are engulfed in him. Your pulse was so fast you could convince them you were a little hummingbird hybrid about to get caught in the tiger’s teeth.

“Taehyung,” you breathe, unable to look away from him, his grip was still like iron around your wrist, his tail wrapping around your middle. It was suddenly so hot, you felt like you were on fire, and all you wanted to do was smother his lips with yours.

You’re grateful for a second that he looks away, giving you a chance to catch your breath, and resist the pull of his stare. The feeling doesn’t last long as you realise his gaze has travelled down to your attire, the disapproving hum vibrating from his throat. You chose to wear this enchanting dress for someone that wasn’t them, you consciously went through your wardrobe and chose something so flattering for a man that you barely knew. His eyes snap back to yours, the flames reigniting in them with more lethal intensity. You gulp, just to soothe your drying throat.

“Y/n?”

Neither of you flinch at the sound of your concerned date, unable to comprehend the sight in front of him.

“Are you okay?” he says more urgently. “Hey I don’t think she wants you to hold-”

He makes the grievous mistake of trying to pry Taehyung’s grip away, the tiger turning his carnal fury on the stupid human. But before he can unleash his roar, you pull him back, fingers on his chin turning his face back to you.

“Eric I’m really really sorry,” you apologise and meaning it. “I’m part of their pack, you’re a stranger so they’re not familiar with your scent.”

You turn to the human as you explain, as much as Taehyung would let you.

“It agitates them, because they don’t know your intentions,” you sound logical, convincing, of course you do, you believe the nonsense you’re spouting.

Jimin said he wanted to hear the excuse you were making in that brain of yours, and here it was. If anything it aggravates them more, not just at your imperception but the fact all of this could have been avoided if Namjoon just let them confess.

“Does that make sense?” You ask, cringing at the awkwardness.

“Yeah that does,” he sighs, glancing at the hybrids that look ready to pounce and tear him to shreds. “Don’t worry about it, we can reschedule for another time.”

You smile gratefully at him, thankful he wasn’t screaming insults at you and making you feel like shit.

“Over my dead body,” Jungkook huffs under his breath, loud enough for you to hear.

“Thanks Eric,” you ignore the bunny’s outburst, “I’ll see you soon.”

At those words Taehyung’s tail wraps tighter around your waist, the movement not missed by the human.

With a wave he’s gone, and they finally feel like they can breathe.

“You guys are seriously too much,” you sigh, skin still tingling from the sensation of the tiger hybrid’s touch. “He wasn’t going to kill me.”

Jimin can’t stop the higher pitched growl leaving his lips.

“You don’t know that,” he scoffs.

Their clouded heads were clearing, slowly realising the events of what just happened even though they just lived them. This was bad, their judgement was so dictated by their jealousy and possessiveness it was bordering on dangerous.

“I think I need to go home,” you announce in a quiet voice, your own train of thoughts already taking you away from them.

“We’ll take you,” Jungkook offers, ready to rectify his mistakes.

“No I think you guys have done enough,” you frown at the floor, your harsh words hitting them with shame and heartache.

Jungkook blinks back sudden tears, unable to handle your rejection, even if he deserved it.

“Angel-”

“I really don’t want to hear it tonight, please,” your eyes close, fighting back your own watering eyes, swallowing down the hurt.

How could they do this to you? How could they not realise how you felt and not let you take this way out of it? They didn’t want you, they didn’t love you back, they weren’t allowed to behave like this and confuse you. You pull Taehyung’s clutch away from your wrist with your other hand, his tail falling limply at the grief sinking his whole soul.

You don’t say a word as you walk away, leaving three hybrids too stunned to speak.

—

Did you understand the nightmares that haunted Namjoon at night? The images of you accusing them of heinous hideous things that in the moment he believes with his whole heart. That look of hatred on your face that burns into his brain. Every time he woke up the hurt lingered into the day.

It’s a stupid defence mechanism he knows, the way he’s been behaving recently. His wolf side is angry and pissed with his human parts and the hybrid is taking it out on everyone around him, even you, even if you both hadn’t spoken since the day before yesterday.

The worst part of it was, he was holding you at a distance, his usual cure for his downcast thoughts. You were the one to pull him out when he buried himself in his overthinking and his insecurities. You always dug him out, and this time you didn’t, and he wouldn’t let you close enough to. This time you left him under the weight of his own misery and walked away with another man. His jaw clenches unconsciously, his bite so tense his teeth would break under the force.

This just proved everything he had been saying was right. You didn’t want them. They were helplessly and hopelessly in love with you to the point where they recognised you as their mate, and you didn’t return the feeling. As much as Yoongi argued that you were human so therefore you were dense to their affection, Namjoon couldn’t agree. How could you not see it when they behaved the way they did with you, only you. When else had he found his employee in the arms of his packmate asleep? When else would he allow someone outside of his pack to get as close to him as you did?

And to top it all off, every member of his pack started courting you for real the day you smelled the way you did. They were oblivious to it, or denying it themselves, but something inside of them clicked that day, and Namjoon could see the consequences in their behaviour even if they couldn’t. Why didn’t they understand it was futile, they were going to get their hearts torn out because of a human girl. Before their affection and gestures were always poised as a question, an indirect way of asking if you were interested in them. But now the boundaries were gone, they recognised you as their mate completely whether you were or not, this was everything he was trying to prevent. It was one thing to think it, now their more animalistic sides would accept nothing less but your hand in theirs.

His tormenting thoughts come to an abrupt stop as do his steps. He was walking past the empty meeting room, on his way back to the office when he heard it. He should walk away, but he can’t bring himself to. There was no way he should know that was you, but he did. His fingers close around the handle, his thoughts in overdrive, fighting with himself about what to do.

His instincts take over when he hears the sob, opening the door in a flash to the sound, staring incredulously at the sight of your tear stained face. You struggle to stop crying, choking on your tears as you try to control them, turning away from him. Your hand covers your mouth as you whimper, unable to hold back now the floodgates opened. You hear the door slam shut thinking he had left until you hear the lock.

“Babygirl-”

“Namjoon I-I’m fine,” you hold your tears back long enough to say it as firmly as you could, your face scrunching as the downpour continues.

He can see your shoulders trembling, he can hear the pain in your voice. It killed him.

Someone hurt his mate, as much as he tried to stop the thought it echoed in his head loudly. His mate was hurt, his mate was crying. He was caught between wanting to tear someone’s throat apart for putting you in this state and the urge to comfort you in his arms. It physically pains him not to step towards you, to not give in to all the cells in his body that screamed at him to go to you.

He couldn’t be a hypocrite, he has repeated to the others so many times, you weren’t theirs. How many times did he preach not to cross the line? How many times did he break his own rules?

“Y/n, as your employer, as your friend,” he says as calmly as he can, “tell me what’s wrong.”

If there was ever a wrong button to press, Namjoon could find it. You let out an unbearable whine, drowning out your loud cries in both your hands.

He takes a deep pained breath, his eyes closing as he fights so hard with himself, the wrinkles between his brows deep as caverns. He couldn’t, not after everything he said to the others, he couldn’t…

Fuck it.

His long strides close the distance quickly, his arms turning you to face him as he buries you into the safety of his chest. His arm traps you in his hold when you try to push him away, one hand in your hair trying to soothe you.

“Shhh babygirl it's fine,” his chin sits on the top of your head, his palm alternating between patting your head affectionately and stroking the strands. He’s never seen you like this, or heard just an anguished cry in his life. “I’m so sorry…”

He felt compelled to say it, hating himself for everything.

He lets you bawl your eyes out against him, holding you firmly through every violent tremble that shakes your body. His tail wraps behind you like a second arm would in a hug, his ears twitching to every sound you make. You clutch onto his shirt like a lifeline, unable to tell him he and the others were the reason for your tears.

It came out of nowhere, but repressed emotions have a way of finding an out. You barely made it to the empty meeting room before the tears started dropping, and you couldn’t stop. Everything that was happening between you and them overwhelmed you, you couldn’t take it anymore. You wanted to bang your fist against his chest and demand they understood what they were doing to you. You wanted to confess everything, let the dice fall wherever they had to, but you could barely breathe, how could you find your voice?

This needed to end before it destroyed you.

----------------------------------------------------------

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