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specialbrewbutterbeer · 2 years

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The Marital Home (Regulus Black x Reader) Part IV (Final)

Word Count: 6146

TW: Alcohol, addiction, pregnancy, childbirth (NOT GRAPHIC), blood, anxiety, vomiting. (I promise it's not as bad as all that, it's entirely ungraphic and mostly only mentioned and not described at all)

A/N: I so enjoyed writing this last bit! Sorry it's so so long, but I just wanted a decent end and couldn't figure out how to split it well, but I hope enjoy. I am taking requests, and noe I'm finished with this, will be able to do them much much quicker, so if you're waiting for one, or want one, I'm on it! Please do send them in and do let me know what you thought about this part!

Part I Part II Part III

REQUESTS (OPEN)

MASTERLIST

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When she knew, she nearly threw up from the shock of it. It wasn't what she was expecting, or wanted. Not yet.

She probably should have expected it.

They'd been avoiding eachother, Reg wasn't going to stop drinking, it was the only thing he could make work and he was too far in now to just give it up, and (Y/n) didn't want to argue again, or have to watch him, with an aching heart, stumble around, with that sluggishness he got when he drank. Reg thought it best for them both, to stay away. Keep out of her way and she could live her life, and he could keep on doing as he wanted.

She found herself in a dilemma. She missed him. Which felt strange considering their odd relationship anyway, but they had been making progress, and she had hope. That optimism that they had shared at the beginning of their relationship had faded, into a resignation to what their lives had become. Firmly seperate.

Once she knew, she knew she couldn't keep it from her husband forever. In theory, as they didn't sleep in the same room, never saw each other naked, in fact rarely saw eachother at all- and when they did, it was mainly just sheepish awkward glances at the floor and skirting past eachother quickly, she could hide it for muxh longer than a normal wife could keep that kind of thing from her husband. But she couldn't do that, from a moral point of view.

They'd been married nearly a year (now their birthdays had both passed without note or celebration) and none of it had gone right. They had begun as strangers, shy teenagers who wanted to try and do what they had to, to please their parents. Then they became, breifly, friends, and even more breifly, lovers. Now, they were strangers again, and willing to be.

Eventually she had to confess to him her secret. She couldn't avoid thinking about it by scrubbing floors or leaving the house and meeting with her mother for lunch, or shopping. She'd finally have to open up the one room she'd never bothered with until now. She'd spent her time cleaning and redecorating the parlor and conservatory, she'd even managed the dining room, knowing she would be the only one who would ever see it. (Excluding the awkward visits from their mothers, where in the couple had to pretend they lived in domestic bliss).

She had woken up that morning, with shaking hands, determined to tell him after a goodly while of keeping it to herself. She couldn't muster the courage to do it until the sky was golden in the evening and the air was humid, hot and sticky.

She paced back and forth in the hall before approaching the study door.

She knocked and waited. She didn't know what kind of day it was, if he was black out drunk or closer to sober.

"Yes?" Reg answered from inside, confused and surprised by her, as she'd never once done this before. He didn't sound like he'd drunk much.

She slowly and cautiously opened the door and stepped in for the first time.

She didn't have the mind to look around, she was too focused on what she was trying to do.

He stood and placed the bottle and glass that he had on his desk away and out of sight before he looked up at her. He didn't like her to see it.

She stood before him, unsteady and suddenly lightheaded. She already felt sick, and it was worse now. She fidgeted and he immediately knew something was wrong. All the colour was drained from her face and her eyes darted about a little.

"Are you alright?" Reg asked, stepping toward her, but stopping as she became visibly agitated. She shook her head.

"I-" she stuttered and tried to find the words she needed. "Reg- I-" her words were punctuated with shaky breaths. "I'm-" she took a deep breath and tried to finish her sentence, muttering it under her breath. "Pregnant."

She couldn't look at him for a moment but when she did meet his gaze, it was like he hadn't reacted at all. He stood in silence.

He brought his hand to his face, the other resting on his hip, and turned away from her, and as she watched, it was almost visible, the amount of the thoughts running through his head.

"I'm sorry, I-" She began, frantically. "I'm sorry - This isn't what we-" She couldn't being herself to continue as she thought she had encountered the worst case scenario and felt that awful lump in her throat return.

As he heard her, Reg turned around and shook his head.

"No, my darling girl-" he spoke softly, with a familiar tenderness about him, and moved toward her. "No." He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her cheek, his own hands starting to shake and a knot tying in the pit of his stomach, a familiar feeling. He pressed his cheek to hers and cradled her in his arms as tears fell from her eyes. How these moments of crisis for the couple brought them together they would never understand.

He buried his face in the crook of her neck and whispered.

"You've done nothing wrong."

This feeling they shared, must have been similar to that one they'd had at the altar, total trepidation, equal and matched to eachother. Reg could feel her heart pounding half way out of her chest and he just held her tighter.

This was never a milestone they planned to hit, not considering the circumstances. What Regulus had always wanted to be in this relationship was a supportive husband, but he knew he couldn't be one. The anxiety and coping habits that went along with it got the better of him. His paranoia enveloped him. This was a life he that he was unequipped for. Similarly, (Y/n) was a woman who could barely be described as one, barely out of her school years (as was Regulus), she walked on eggshells around her husband, she attempted to navigate domestic duty but she didn't like it, it felt like playing pretend when she didn't often have the confidence to look her husband in the eye or successfully confront him, and when she tried it had only lead to indulging in carnal sin with the man- one who, to her, may as well have been a stranger in the street.

But now they had no choice, they were stuck in a situation they had created for themselves and were both terrified and unhappy with it. If they had been in love, held anything more than a painful affection for each other maybe they would be more optimistic, happier, but they weren't. They'd be kidding themselves to say they were at all excited about it. They were a paranoid drunk and a miserable housewife, not made to be a family.

After a moment Regulus pulled away, sliding his hands to rest on her hips and looking down at where soon a bump would begin to show. (Y/n) rested her hands on his forearms and watched his face, thoughtful and solemn.

He looked up at her and in a soft, breathy laugh, spoke, shaking his head slowly and crinkling up his nose.

"This is so fucking stupid, eh?" He tried to muster a smile, but it was a reluctant and sad one. She laughed, wiping her eyes and nodded. "This is the stuff we're supposed to be happy about." He continued, pulling her back into him. "We're so fucked." He spoke quitely, looking up to the heavens for the strength that might hold them both together through this.

As summer finally waned, and as that first anniversary approached at a rate of knots, they knew that they had to tell the rest of the family about the imminent arrival. Regulus finally had to go back to his childhood home, hand in hand with his bride, and sat with his mother. Since his father had died (which didn't help their issues in the slightest), the house had felt cold, his mother even more so than she had always been, and Reggie hated being there- he was glad to have been able to leave when he did.

They sat across from Walburga and Regulus spoke for them, feeling his wife's hand tremble in his, and with a stiff drink down his neck before they'd left for his own nerves. He broke the news, and for the first time in years, a smile broke across his Mother's pale lips. She looked quite beautiful when she smiled, (Y/n) thought, as if she were shining a light from her that hadn't been on for a long time. She wondered if Walburga and Orion's marriage had been anything like theirs was, and if it was, if that was why she was the woman she had become. (Y/n) hoped desperately that wasn't true, she wanted so badly to avoid walking in the footsteps of her mother-in-law.

Walburga insisted on being more involved in their life from then, surprisingly excited to have a grandchild. She still observed the gulf between the households that was proper, she believed in the couple and their own homemaking abilities, but she couldn't help herself but be keen. She almost seemed then, to be a normal mother.

Throughout the next few months, Regulus tried desperately to ease off the drink, though quickly found it wasn't so easy as that. He wanted to, so badly. If he was going to be a father, and he was, they both knew that they had no choice in the matter, he knew he couldn't live like this as well. It wasn't an option to have both. He also tried to be around more, when he could. He wanted to be close to his wife, earn her confidence and be able to live with her, not just co-exist.

There was something quite protective in his attention too, she noticed. He was terrified that something would happen that would hurt her, nevermind the baby, he didn't care- he really didn't, but this beautiful woman that he knew he had been disregarding and taking for granted, that had been handed to him on a silver platter, she was far more precious.

He refused to let her do anything he deemed strenuous, the kind of things she had always done around the house and in life that kept her busy, and sane. He insisted that she just use magic, and she knew he meant well (and couldn't bare the argument it might cause) so she agreed. She now spent her days bored, so she left the house, walked around the shops, buying books, new records and things for the house. This caused him anxiety too, his beautiful but, in his mind, fragile wife, out in a vicious world, but he couldn't stop everything she did, he knew that that was cruel and he feared most that she might hate him. Or might hate him more than she may do already.

(Y/n) was scared, her body had become alien to her. She knew what was happening, but it felt strange, and the prospect of doing it all for a baby she wasn't ready for, didn't want, they hadn't planned for and that was by no means a miracle or gift as a result, didn't remedy the nausea she had, the heightened emotions and the little bump that made all her favourite clothes uncomfortable or not fit at all. She was glad that the bump never got very big, like she saw on most women, and that the baby didn't squirm too often. She knew it was the kind of thing people usually worried about but an unwelcome thing would always be unwelcome, so she could only bring herself to be neutral on the prospect of it.

She had imagined this, many times. Having a baby. She always thought of herself as quite maternal, she didn't mind babies and she quite enjoyed spending time around small children, but this was all different than how it was supposed to be. She was meant to be in love, and this whole this was meant to be a decision, not a mistake.

She enjoyed Reg's attempts to unify them. She supported him as well as she could, though she was ill equipped for it, in his efforts to stop drinking, or at least not do so, so badly. Even through the relapses and jitters, the irritability and anxiety. It was how she took her mind off of the whole thing.

They'd even ended up sleeping in the same bed- most of the time. The soothing presence of one-another in the long dark night helped, and it conformed with Reg and his recent protective instinct, and motivated him to actually go to bed at night, not stay up drinking. Even if he lay beside her, holding her hand, awake, anxious and scared as all hell, all night, he knew it was better than doing what he didn't want to.

It was mid December when he awoke in the middle of the night to find his wife absent from her place beside him.

A shot of panic went through him like a spear and he sat up as fast as a bullet. He fumbled in the dark to his feet, and saw through the cracked open door, a sliver of light in the hall. He raced to it and found (Y/n) in the bathroom, doubled over, cradling that little bump of hers. She looked up at him with a whimper and he saw tiny tears running down her cheeks and she frantically shook her head. Sweat already beaded on her forehead and her face was pale.

Just half an hour later, he was stood outside the house, in the cold, in spitting rain and the first pair of shoes he'd come to, smoking a cigarette and shivering. He looked up at the hallway window and could see the shadows come down the hall and dance around in the glass as two healers did their work, and there was plenty, this all happening a month before due.

He had been shooed away by the healers, he didn't have to be outside, but they wouldn't let him be even remotely close. This was the only way he could have any glimpse of what was going on, stood in the cold in an old navy wool jersey and a pair of jeans he'd swiped from the laundry as he walked by, a pair of oxfords from the hallway on his feet, unsuitable for the time of year, weather and mud.

There was a pit in his stomach, he'd already thrown up twice into some shrubs, and now he could just taste bile and the cigarettes he was getting through. He listened and heard her screams, cries of pain and wails of agony that were piercing. He cringed at every sound.

He couldn't get over the sinking feeling that everything happening in there, was his fault. If anything worse happened, it would be his fault. He would have taken the life of a beautiful and intelligent young woman. Some part of him thought that in a different way he already had. Yes he had to be a father, but at what cost did he pay? It was her toll, her body and her pain. They had shared one night, but they couldn't share this- this was her peril. If he could have shared it, he would. He didn't want to hold that guilt all his life but he could only wait.

It wasn't all that long before he was called inside.

"She won't even look at it." One of the healers sneered at him as she lead him to the bedroom, instead of answering the meekly asked question of 'is my wife alright?'. An awful smell arose, of blood and sweat, almost sickly and sweet, as they entered. He first layed eyes on her, deathly pale and waxy, a lull in her eyes and her cheat rising and falling quickly. She was exhausted and still in pain.

He stepped toward her but was stopped and a , bundle whirled into his arms. He looked down at the tiny, tiny baby he suddenly was holding. It was the smallest thing he'd ever seen. Delicate and pale it moved slightly and yawned. His heart swelled for a moment, as he held on tightly to this little thing in his hands, but still he moved to the bed and sat at the edge. With one hand he pushed away the strands of hair stuck to (Y/n)'s face with sweat. She let him do it, but couldn't look at him.

She didn't want to hold it, or look at it, or even think about it. She didn't know if it was a boy or a girl, she didn't know if she cared. She felt nothing maternal, no flood of hormones that made her want to hold the wretched thing that had just caused her such agony. She was in some form of shock, she guessed. Or denial. She had been in denial since she found out she was going to have it. In some child-like way, in the back of her mind she thought that if she ignored the situation, it would go away entirely.

Reg held her hand and leant down to her, pressing his lips to her forehead.

"I love you" he whispered. "I love you, and you've done so well. So so well." He breathed heavily as tears began to sting his eyes. "And he's beautiful. I know this isn't what we wanted, but we've got to. He's here now, we've gotta try and love him." He squeezed her hand. "If I've got to love him for both of us I will, because he's already so much of you. And you've done so much already." He wanted to tell her he could do it all by himself, that it was unfair anyway and she should escape and live some dream untethered by this life, but that was untrue. He needed her more than ever, but she had to know he understood how much she had given already. That it was okay to be upset and angry with it all, because he was too, but he was already in love with this tiny thing they now had, just as much as he was in love with her (though that was something he was never able to articulate properly, not romantically. He could be sexual when drunk and shy when sober. Never romantic in the way he wished he could be).

(Y/n) turned her head away from him and the baby, and scrunched her eyes closed, bringing her hands up to her face. She felt she had no faith left. She had spent so much of this marriage, crying, distressed and angry. She didn't blame him at all, but she could no longer weather all of this.

The months spent resigned to the misery, when there was that youthful optimism that maybe one day things would change, had worn her down. This was never the life she imagined for herself, and she didn't want a speck of what she had.

She wanted to believe what her husband told her, but she no longer belived he could change, as much as she did believe he willed himself to. She wanted to believe that she could step into the shoes of housewife and mother, that that would at all suit her, but it bored her. What had initially been a new adventure had become boring and miserable. She could no longer derive joy from fabric samples for drapes, or strips of wallpaper. She no longer worried about her husband or the future of their relationship, she had come to hold such deep affection for Regulus, but she saw no point in worrying, if he was going to drink himself to an early grave then come hell or high water he would, and she was powerless to stop him. Their relationship couldn't thrive, or even grow, under such scrutiny as that.

And this child. She didn't want it. She never had. No excitement over preparing for it's arrival, the clothes and linens and paint. She still felt like a child herself and this was no household for a child. It barely felt like her own home, despite the efforts she made. But this house now held a roof over three heads.

As much as Regulus had now accepted that his wife was upset at the arrival of this child, her refusal to even look at it scared him. He felt great love for this baby, he now possesed a piece of new life. But he hadn't carried it against his will, nor contributed to bringing it forth into this world. He couldn't hold himself in anguish against it because of those things. He had only waited for it's arrival.

He didn't know what to say to her. He wanted to be what husbands are supposed to be, loyal to their wives. But now, her reasons for her feelings were understandable, and she had made no wrong footing in this marriage that ever lead to this misery for herself and neither had his son done anything wrong to go without a mother. He was torn. He was willing, to be a father. Or at least more willing than (Y/n) was to be a mother.

(Y/n) just curled up and sobbed into her hands. She couldn't bare what was happening. It was too much.

Reg stood and left the room with his son cradled quietly in his arms. He knew he should think of the baby as their son, but he wondered that if she had the choice, if his wife wouldn't prefer that it were solely his.

At the very least Reg was glad the child was healthy. He sat gazing down at him as he slept, a tiny creature, all his. He felt no anxiety, only a wash of calm just then. Though he wished he could share this moment with the woman he loved, he knew that to some degree that was an unfair thing to ask.

The baby had a little tuft of soft, dark hair, like his, and a skin tone that was just the same as it's mother's. He had delicate little eyelashes, and he just looked like her. That woman who was sat sobbing in the next room, still reeling from the shock and pain of new motherhood.

Suddenly Regulus was facing the biggest conflict of his life. He'd faced plenty of conflict, but this was his, and only his. No-one could help or rescue him now.

This child, his child, so small and vulnerable, innocent and who didn't even have a name yet. Or, his wife, (Y/n). A woman who had stood by him, tried to look after him, as hard as he tried to deny he needed it. She had built a home for them, given him this tiny little creature he never expected to love so much. She had never wanted what she had, but always been grateful for it. She deserved more than that, and it's what Reg intended to give her.

It's not that he wanted to take sides, that's just not how life works, but how could he adore them both and be what they needed in this situation. He had his own issues, anxiety, addiction. He had no idea if he would ever come close to overcoming them, or this. This hurdle that asked for loyalty and possession and called him to choose, taunting with no wrong answer. It asked him to choose what couldn't be chosen, and there was no escape for any party here.

He stood, cradling the warm, wriggling thing in his arms. He hunched over the baby, enveloping it, leaning down to it, his now longish, dark hair falling over his face as he did. He couldn't help but smile, wrinkles forming at his eyes and a an overwhelmingly happy, but choked up, feeling forming in his chest and throat. He never expected this. He never expected to be a father, nor happy to be one. He felt all too young and not enough for it, but he reasoned that his own father was so inconsequential to his upbringing (Walburga, or the governess she would appoint, being the driving force) that it couldn't take much to be better, at least, than he'd had.

Regulus placed his son softly, swaddled in a duckling yellow linen blanket, into the moses basket. He looked down at the sleeping child and sighed deeply. Finally he tore himself away from it and proped open the door, so he could hear out for any cries, and did the same on his own bedroom door.

He looked to the bed, and in the soft warm light of the bedside lamp, and the gas streetlight below the window, (Y/n) cowered, but had finally fallen silent. She had no more tears left to give.

The sheets she lay on and clothes she wore were still blood stained and soiled. The healers, despite the status of the Black family, had shown such distain toward her for her rejection of what was the heir to the dynasty, that they neglected to provide any care further than making sure she lived. Reg wondered that had it been a baby girl, if they would have accepted more readily the rejection. It didn't matter to either of them, and in that moment, there was nothing that could change the past.

Reg knelt and pulled out a basket from underneath the bed, from which he took clean sheets, the softest and gentlest he could find, before replacing it. Slowly and carefully he stripped the bed, touching her as little as possible, only when he needed to, and similarly as he placed the new bedding on. The sheets he had taken off, he took straight down to the cellar, and put them into the tin wash tub to soak.

He made his way back up the stairs and pushed open (Y/n's) bedroom door, he collected her quilt, clean clothes (just a spaghetti strap vestof the kind she often wore to bed, and a pair of bed-shorts, along with underwear) and her hairbrush.

Reg unfolded the quilt first, and spread and folded once over it at the end of the bed, primed to be pulled up and over when wanted. He then knelt on the floor by the bed, this time just in front of her. He reached out and clasped his fingers around hers. He spoke in whispers as he told her exactly what he was doing. She cooperated, moving slowly, and with hesitation, still shivering a little, and hunched. He matched her pace as his fingers brushed against her skin, as he tenderly pulled the still damp and sweaty clothes off of her, and helped her replace them with clean, comfortable ones. He placed a kiss on her cheek and sat on the bed behind her, so that she layed back into his chest, and he brushed her hair delicately before tying it back and out of her face.

Finally he just lay beside her, holding her hand tightly, up and close to his lips. He wanted to speak his mind to her, and yet he had no clue what to say. So he lay in silence, totally focused on her, as she fell asleep.

He couldn't help but drift off again, as the wee hours closed.

It couldn't have been much later when he was started awake by crying. He jolted up, his eyes still blurry, and just glimpsed the sight of his wife disappearing into the hall.

He followed swiftly and found (Y/n) with the baby in her arms. She wasn't looking down at him, rather she was looking anywhere but at the baby as she held him. She turned to Reg, who stood in the doorway.

"It needed fed." She looked to him with tears welling up in her eyes, and still with that awful shiver about her. She was still weak, and found soon that her legs struggled to hold her, so she perched on the edge of a neaby seat, far too tense to relax at all.

Similarly, Reg couldn't help but fidget nervously as he stood in the doorway. He instead found himself in the kitchen, making two cups of tea and picking up a packet of 'Nice' biscuits.

He climbed the stairs yet again and found the baby back in it's bed, not quite asleep, but content. He handed a cup to his wife, who took it gratefully. She seemed to have finally leant back into the armchairchair she had been on, and Reg perched himself beside her on the arm of it.

"Are you alright?" He asked, still in whispers, as if speaking any louder might upset the blanace they had somehow found. (Y/n) looked up at him and shook her head meekly, leaning into his side. He placed a hand on her opposite shoulder and rubbed his thumb up and down comfortingly over her cool skin.

"Reggie?" (Y/n) looked up at him, and asked hesitantly, after a moment of quiet. "Did you have a drink tonight?" For a second, he didn't meet her gaze, but forced himself to look to her. His silence gave her an answer. She just nodded.

"Not much." He offered desperately. "I promise you-" She cut him off by placing a hand on top of his on her shoulder. and leaning into him more.

"It's alright." She said under her breath.

"No-" Reg returned. "No. I don't want to keep on like this." He paused and thought for a moment. "I want this all to work. And I'm going to try." (Y/n) just nodded.

As the sun began to rise, they stayed sat there, until their tea was cold and cups discarded. The silence was comfortable, and they both were coming to terms with things. It was only broken as (Y/n) spoke.

"The baby will need a name." She stated, though still not entirely able to look at her son. Regulus looked down at her and nodded.

"Anything in mind?" He asked. She shook her head. Again it was quiet for a moment.

"The Black's all have traditionally celestial names, don't they?" She asked and nodded. "You're Regulus, and Regulus is the brightest star in the Leo constellation, so what about Leo?" She suggested and a smiled began slowly to spread across Reg's face.

"Yes." He took his wife's hand. "Yes, that's perfect."

"Do you want to give him a middle name?" She asked and Reg again nodded.

"Could we name him after my brother?" He asked, and she agreed.

(Y/n) stood, shakily and approached the moses basket. She picked up her child tenderly and cradled him close to her.

"Hello." She spoke very quietly, and with wavering voice. "Leo Sirius Black" She looked up at Regulus. "It suits him." She breathed deeply as she finally looked down at her baby. She wasn't sure still, but she had no choice. She wasn't cruel either, she knew she was needed, and she wasn't sure it was in her nature to resent this child, as much as she felt her mind urged her to. This was just something that happened, she couldn't stop, and she would preserve through, for the sake of her own sanity. She hoped she would grow to love this tiny little thing as much as she had grown to love Reggie. That would make things easier. But for now, she cast pity upon herself and him, and that was enough for her to keep going.

Her features softened as she looked down at him. A look of sadness, a tinge of fear too, but also maybe some small bond beginning to form, with reluctance.

As Reg watched, he suddenly remembered the dream he'd been having just before the baby was born.

His wife, in a white dress, decorated with blue cornflowers, with gold thread in their leaves. A baby boy on her hip and a young boy, maybe five years old, stood by her side. They stood in the sun. Laughing. There was a breeze in the air, the smell of the sea, and behind them, a stone cottage, with painted shutters on the windows, and vines climbing for the heavens. Above the door a wooden sign, painted with white letters 'Mon Rêve'. He could feel grass under his feet, and sun on his face.

He stood, approached his wife and child and wrapped them in his arms. He was struck by the realness of that dream, the fullness of his heart as he recalled it.

"Mon amour? Parles-tu Français?"

She looked up at him and laughed.

"Évidemment."

Walburga was delighted by her new grandson, less so by the choice of name. She had been notified of his birth by the family tapestry. As she sat drinking her morning tea, she had watched as a leaf unfurled beneath her youngest son's name, and read the new one aloud.

This, however, made no difference to the couple. Before spring had arrived, they had sold their house, and purchased a cottage on the coast of France. It had shutters, a small amount of land on which a vineyard had historicaly been, and on which grapevines still grew. There was a small kitchen, though with room for their large kitchen table, and cellar, two bedrooms, two reception rooms, a living room that opened with sliding panel doors to a study filled with bookshelves, and all the fittings and fixtures they needed. It had a view of the sea, and a large shed, at the back of which was a chicken coop. They weren't far from the village and they realised they had found home.

By mid April they had moved in. Their things fit perfectly. Lace curtians on the windows, the vinyl player in the living room, books in the study and radio in the kitchen. All their best china sat happily in the cabinet in the kitchen, pots and pans hung above the stove and their photographs sat on the mantle. Leo learnt to crawl on the soft grass and he was a happy baby. He wasn't often out of Regulus' sight, always in his arms, being cradled, or read to or cooed at. Though very occasionally, when he cried, Regulus couldn't soothe him. Sometimes he just wanted his mother, as hesitant as she was with him, and scared as she was, it was her arms he wanted, her perfume to surround him, her face to see.

The bad times still existed, they wouldn't go away in an instant, but they improved. They found that anxiety eased here, in this place that they had chosen. In this place where they surrounded themselves eith eachother and love, where they tried to compromise and understand one another. Here they felt like they had married for love, and they began to feel safe.

When (Y/n) found it hard to be around the baby, or had pangs of doubt that she was able to cope with her domestic role, she walked into the village, and found that suddenly it was easier to breathe. When Reg found himself drinking to excess, he couldn't hide that away here, and he had begun to speak, rather than hide at the bottom of a bottle. He didn't fear that his wife would judge him, or think badly of him for his thoughts. She listened, and he listened to her.

They had befriended people in the village quite quickly, another young couple, just married, with their own baby due soon, who happened to live on a neighboring farm, and the local vicar and his wife, who had nine children, ranging from a 17 year old girl, who was an apprentice to the local seamstress, to a six year old boy. The village, they found was full of characters. This place suited their new family.

Just before Leo's second birthday the war ended. Regulus was relieved, though devestated of the implications of his brother's role. Finally he needed no longer to attend meetings of the Dark Lord, nor worry about intimidation or attack. He avoided Azkaban by giving up willingly all the information he had, and he was pardoned from any suspicions quickly.

Now he finally knew the whereabouts of Sirius after his capture, he wrote him a letter, not with much sentimental content, but simply informing him of his nephew, his name and such. He never received a reply.

But finally they had found a home. One they had built together, that was warm and friendly and wasn't empty or hollow. It was all they needed.

Above the door, Regulus had painted on a piece of wood, and hung ceremoniously, the words 'Notre Rêve'.

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#hp fanfic #hp imagine #regulus imagine #regulus fanfiction #regulus headcanon #sirius and regulus #regulus black #regulus x y/n #regulus deserved better #regulus black x female reader #regulus black x y/n #regulus black x you #regulus black x reader #marauders x y/n #marauders x you #marauders x reader #marauders era #marauders

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xofanfics · 3 years

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Without Warning - Part IV

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V

Genre: angst, slight fluff

Pairing: Reader x Mark ft. Doyoung

Word Count: 3k

Summary: You and Doyoung had the best summer you could. Now that he’s hundreds of miles away in college, you have to go through senior year alone. You meet Mark at a time when Doyoung is making you feel like you’re single.

Mark was completely taken aback by the events of the night. You’d kissed him and you held his hand and you brought him into your room. Mark could hardly contain his excitement about having kissed you, touched you, and having been close enough to pick up on your scent. For him it wasn’t sexual. It didn’t have to be and, to be honest, he didn’t want it to be. At least, not right now. For now, he was just enjoying this innocence with you.

You went in your drawers and pulled out pajamas, sending Mark into anxiety. Please don’t change in front of me, please don’t change in front of me, he thought. The last thing he needed was to get hard right now and to potentially scare you away. He definitely wasn’t ready for something like that. Thankfully, you excused yourself into the bathroom and returned a couple minutes later with a freshly washed face and pajamas on.

You looked beautiful as ever, even with no makeup on. He’d seen you a few times without makeup but on most days, he noticed, you’d at least be wearing eyeliner. But here you were, no eyeliner, no mascara, and none of your usual lipgloss with the slight pink tint to it.

Mark was lying across your bed, heart racing. He was nervous because he’d never seen you in this state and, of course, because he liked you a lot. “You feeling okay?”

You nodded. “Just a little tired. Do you wanna watch my show with me?”

“Yeah. What show?”

“I started rewatching Sailor Moon.”

“I’m down for whatever.”

You crawled into the bed with him and snuggled up to him, lying on his chest. He wasn’t sure if you could hear his heart racing but it was definitely racing. His heart pounded so hard he could hear it in his ears. He didn’t know if it was because he’d been drinking or what; he just knew that he was very aware of himself right now. Was he breathing too hard? Was he breathing at all? Did he still smell like alcohol? Did you actually like him, the same way he did? He had so many questions and most of them, he couldn’t answer at the moment.

One minute you were watching tv in silence and the next minute, you were asleep. Mark looked down at you and smiled at how cute you looked with your mouth slightly open. He wished he had this view all the time. With a sigh, he thought about all the things you could do if you were his. But for now, he caressed your hand as you slept. He stayed like that with you for the rest of the episode before he figured he shouldn’t overstay his welcome. He scooted from underneath you but before he could get out of the bed you reached out for him, grabbing onto his arm.

“Don’t go,” you mumbled.

“What?”

You opened your eyes and pouted. “Cuddle with me…”

Mark’s heart started racing again but he did what you asked. Plus, how could he resist when you made a face like that. He got under the blanket with you and pulled you closer. You snuggled up to him and said, “Goodnight.” Mark smiled and wrapped his arms around you. And with you in his arms, he fell asleep more quickly than he normally would.

“Y/N?”

Mark shot up, realizing that he probably should’ve asked you when and if your mom was coming back home. He looked down at you, still fast asleep. Should he hide under the bed? In the closet? He heard footsteps coming toward the closed door. Mark bolted into the closet, hoping that the door wasn’t the kind that would squeak as you opened it. Thankfully, it didn’t and he closed the door just enough. He took in a deep breath, praying that your mom had no reason to look in the closet.

“Y/N?” your mom said. She opened the door and Mark heard your mattress shift from outside the closet.

“Hey,” you said. He heard you yawn loudly. He couldn’t see you but he imagined it in his mind.

His heart raced while your mother spoke. Was he breathing too loud? Could your mom somehow sense his presence? Thankfully, he’d come over in his socks so there weren’t any shoes by the door to be evidence. He’d met your mom a couple times at this point but he was pretty sure your mom wouldn’t have been very happy to come home and find the two of you asleep in each other’s arms.

“Did you have fun with Mark and your friends?” She chuckled as Mark’s heart continued racing. “That’s good to hear. Anyway, it’s been a very long double shift so I think I’m going to take a bath with those bath salts you got me for my birthday. Get a little more sleep.”

“Okay,” you said, “See you later.”

Mark heard the door close and relief swept over him. A moment later, when he was sure your mom was gone, he whispered, “Y/N…”

“Mark?” You opened the closet door, surprised that Mark was there. You found him in between your jeans and your t-shirts. “Oh my God, I thought you left! I’m sorry, I forgot to set my alarm. I should’ve told you my mom was coming home in the morning. Unfortunately, she’s not on vacation in Mexico...”

“It’s all good,” he said, chuckling as he stepped out of the closet. “As long as she didn’t see us in the bed together, I think we’ll both survive.”

You laughed, too. “That was way too close.”

“Yeah, for sure. I should get out of here before your mom comes back...”

You nodded, moving out of his way. “Let me make sure she’s in the bathroom.” You left him in the room for a moment. Mark grabbed his phone from under your pillow. You came back and said, “The coast is clear.”

You waved him over and he followed you to the front door.

Mark turned to you. He needed to know before leaving here. “Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah,” you said, stretching.

“Do you remember anything from last night?”

You nodded. “I remember everything. I meant everything.”

That brought a wide smile to Mark’s face. He felt his cheeks get hot and he wasn’t sure if he was visibly blushing or not. Then again, he didn’t care. Hell, if you meant all the things you’d said, nothing else mattered. You wanted to kiss him, genuinely. He wasn’t sure if you liked him like that but you clearly felt something. And, for now, that was good enough for him.

You had something you wanted to say but you hesitated. Things had taken a turn since last night. “Um…”

Mark noticed your hesitation. He supposed things did get a little awkward. “What’s up?”

“Since we’re sober now, will you kiss me?” you asked, taking Mark by surprise. You’d been so forward for the last ten hours and he had no idea what to make of any of this. You didn’t know what had come over you the past few hours.

“Yeah.”

Mark leaned in slowly, pressing his lips to yours. Your lips felt the same, more or less. They weren’t as moist without lipgloss and they no longer tasted like cotton candy. But he enjoyed the kiss with you nevertheless. He pulled away a few seconds later with a smile. You looked into each other’s eyes for a moment and he kissed you again. “Is that what you wanted?”

“Yep.” You took his hand in yours and squeezed it. “Now get out of here before my mom catches you here.”

With a chuckle and a kiss on your cheek, Mark was gone with the wind.

Doyoung was annoyed and frustrated. He’d been trying to contact you for weeks on end to no avail. You’d dodged every obstacle. He’d hit you up on LINKEDIN, for God’s sake. He was putting in all that effort and you ignored him every time. He’d tried contacting you through your friends, on social media, and so on. But there was never any response.

And then the one opportunity he had to talk to you, you were drunk off your ass. Was it that bad that you couldn’t contact him sober? Was it that bad that you had to be drunk to speak to him?

He was frustrated because he fucked up. He fucked up and he didn’t mean to. New stressors in his life weren’t any excuse to treat you the way he did. He got caught up in this new life and he took you for granted. He assumed you’d stick around because you loved each other, even though he hadn’t been acting like it. College life became more important to him that managing the relationship. But he snapped that one time and that was all it took to destroy the relationship. He was so stupid not to realize what was going on, not to realize how distant he’d become. It didn’t look good on his part, as your boyfriend.

How could he have been so stupid? He missed you. Some days, you were all he thought about. Were you sleeping well at night? Were you having fun? Did you...miss him?

He was frustrated because he made a mistake, one that cost him even his friendship with you. He lost his girlfriend and his best friend, all at once. And he hated it. He missed being able to vent to you when he’d had a shitty day and he wished that he could call and tell you about it. But you took that option away from him and Amber and Phil weren’t much help either. He didn’t want to put them in the middle; it was an issue that he had with you and it wasn’t right to try to go through them.

Doyoung’s phone rang on his desk, disrupting him from his thoughts. It was his mother. She was the last person he wanted to speak to right now. He let it ring, hoping that she’d just leave it at that. The phone stopped ringing and he let out a sigh of relief. The relief only lasted for a few seconds and she started calling again. Doyoung rolled his eyes and sighed instead of hurling the phone across the room like he’d imagined in his head. He picked up the phone from off the desk and answered it.

“Hello?”

“Hey mom.”

“Just calling to check on you. How is everything?”

“It’s going okay. I’m working on a paper right now. I’m almost done. I got an B on my biology exam. I think I’m getting the hang of how I need to study for that class.”

“That’s good to hear. I’m sure you’ll do better for the next exam. Start preparing now so you can get a head start.” She cleared her throat. “Did you book your flight yet?”

“Yeah,” he said. “I’ve been so busy. I meant to tell you about it yesterday.”

“Good. The prices were getting more expensive.” She let out a deep sigh. “I can’t believe your brother is getting married in three weeks.”

“I can’t believe I’m going to have to come right back to school after.”

“Me either. But you know how event venues are. They got a good deal considering it’s a weekend.”

“It’s going to be a long weekend.”

It would be. But all he could think about was the possibility of seeing you while he was back home. He had so many things he wanted to say, so many things to make up for. He just wanted confirmation if things between you two were truly over. What would he find if he looked you in your eyes? Love, hate, or indifference?

Amber hit you in the arm with the copy of Romeo and Juliet that had been sitting on your desk. “You and Mark what?”

You shrugged and said, “We kissed...a few times. And he might’ve slept over last night...”

“Slept over? Did you guys do it?”

“No!” you said, probably a little more loudly than necessary. “It wasn’t like that. We just...cuddled and slept. But I forgot to set an alarm for when my mom came back so Mark must’ve heard her calling me and he hid in the closet.” You grabbed an oreo from the box sitting in the middle of the bed as Amber sat cross legged at the foot of the bed, waiting for the rest of the story. “At first I was sad because I thought he left in the middle of the night but he ended up in the closet because my mom came in to say hi.”

“Well this was definitely unexpected,” she said, “but Mark’s a pretty decent guy, being from the male species and all.”

“Yeah…”

“Why didn’t you tell me you liked Mark?”

“I didn’t know. I mean, I never thought about it.”

“So you’re not sure?”

“I think I do like him…I mean, I liked the kiss and the cuddling. And it’s not like he’s not attractive.”

“You’re not using him to get over Doyoung, right?”

You shook your head. Of course, getting over a two year relationship wouldn’t be easy but you had to move on eventually. And, with the way he treated you, it would be easier once you met someone who truly had your best interests in mind. Mark was a sweet guy and he was a good friend. Even though things had been platonic up until this point, Mark had become one of your closest friends. You could trust him with your life and you knew that, perhaps, you could trust him with your heart, too.

You weren’t sure what came over you that night but all you could think of at the time was “What if we kissed?” The alcohol gave you the nudge but you found yourself thinking of Mark constantly. And every time you did, you smiled. You remembered how you felt when things had gotten more romantic with Doyoung. You’d get butterflies when you heard his name and you were excited to see him everyday at school.

It was pretty early on but you knew that you were starting to like Mark, as more than just a friend.

Lucas jogged over toward Mark, sweaty and exhausted. He plopped down on the bench next to his friend and took a long swig from his water bottle. They’d been playing basketball for about an hour. “Ready to go?”

Mark nodded, standing up. “Yeah, let’s head back. I’m starving.”

Lucas stood too and they headed to the parking lot, in search of the car. Mark took out the keys to his parents’ car and got in. As Lucas got in the passenger, he said, “So what happened after we left last night? Did you tell her you like her?”

“Well we, uh, kissed...and I did tell her I like her.”

Lucas smirked. “So she likes you after all, huh?”

“I mean, I think so.”

“What do you mean, you think so? Did you ask her?”

“I mean I didn’t ask her directly.”

“So what the hell did you talk about then?”

“Well we actually didn’t do too much talking.”

As soon as the words left Mark’s mouth, he regretted them. He knew that it sounded a lot dirtier than he meant. And he knew that Lucas would take it the wrong way.

Lucas’ eyes widened as he took it the wrong way. “You fucked her?”

Mark turned in his seat. “No, no! We didn’t have sex or anything like that. I know it sounds kinda weird but she brought me over next door to hangout because she didn’t wanna be alone and then she kissed me and then she wanted me to stay over and cuddle with her. So we cuddled and we both fell asleep.”

“Cuddle, huh? We all know what cuddling leads to…”

“Hey, just because that’s what you and Marina do doesn’t mean it’s the same for me and Y/N! When are you going to start dating her anyway?”

“Hey! Don’t change the subject! We’re not talking about me and Rina. When are you going to take Y/N on a date?”

“Soon. I’m just not sure what we should do. Got any date ideas?”

“Y/N is a pretty simple girl. What about a picnic at the park? You could go around dinner and watch the sun set.”

Mark was feeling extra excited today. He got to the bus stop a few minutes early, so he could rehearse what he was going to say to you. He’d rehearsed it a million times last night into this morning. Initially, he thought about texting it to you but he decided against it; he figured that asking you in person would be better.

He’d been texting you all weekend but he hadn’t hung out with you. Part of him was hoping that the two of you could hang out at least once but you’d been out with your mom all day yesterday. And he understood because your mom hadn’t had a Sunday off in a while. He was satisfied with the kiss you promised him over text messages.

You snuck up on Mark without meaning to. He’d been so deep in his thoughts that he didn’t even see you coming in his peripheral vision. He jumped when you appeared in front of him, almost dropping his phone. “Shit!”

“Sorry,” you said, giggling, “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s okay.” He sighed. “Ready for school?”

“I’m never ready for school.”

Mark chuckled. “Are you busy this weekend?”

You shook your head. “Nope.”

“Would you wanna go on a date on Saturday?”

Your face lit up at his words. That made Mark happy. “I’d love that.” You hugged him, wrapping your arms around him tightly. And when you pulled away, you gave him that promised kiss.

That, of course, made Mark even happier.

***

TAG LIST: @wanlore

GENERAL TAG LIST: @to-all-the-stories-i-love

If you want to be added to my tag lists, pls send an ask!

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flowerwrites06 · 3 years

Text

break my mind’s eye IX — jjk

Plot: Jungkook thinks marriage is the only way to seal a deal.

Pairing(s): Druglord!Jungkook x Fashion Designer!OC (Name: Belle)

Rating: G | PG | M | R 18+

Type: Drabble | Oneshot | Two Parter | Series

Word Count: 9k+

Genre: Mafia | Angst/Smut/Fluff

Tags & Warnings (for entire series): drug dealing, marriage through trickery, explicit smut, drug use, dubious consent, prostitution, miscarriage, lots of manipulation, impregnation through manipulation

Three Months Later

In the deep quiet hour of the night, Belles’ stomach jolted her awake to a dark room. For a moment, when her bearings were not quite right, fear settled as if she transported to a strange place. Quickly turning her gaze there laid Jungkook with his back facing up and an arm around her torso. For the first time she let out a sigh of relief seeing the man’s face knowing that her location was at least familiar.

It became all too familiar now. Yoongi pretty much moved in as their own private medic despite his knowledge on medicine being phoned advice from an actual doctor. Belle did not protest however, having the male close by helped dealing with these past few months. Nausea every single morning, cramps in every single place that had the potential to do so while a lingering worry that she would have to see her child grow up in a world full of betrayal and pain.

Right now her stomach grumbled for a different reason. Looking down, Belle could slowly notice a more prominent swell poking out from her white cotton night gown with Jungkooks’ toned arm gently over it as if to shield it somehow. Once again she felt a rumble and the thought of chocolates brushed her mind.

“Jungkook…” Belle whispered, squeezing his arm a little. When the male didn’t respond she shook him softly. “Jungkook wake up.”

Jungkook shifted with a drawling hum under his breath, one eye opened momentarily before exhaustion pulled him in again and he closed it. “What is it?” He spoke into the pillow.

She slowly pushed herself to a sited position as his loose arm slid onto her thighs. “I want ice-cream.”

“What?” His brows furrowed automatically despite his eyes still comfortably shut.

“What you big boss men never heard of ice-cream?” Belle caressed his forearm which really only helped him fall asleep more.

With a light groan, Jungkook moved his arms to prop himself up enough for both his eyes to open and scan the room. Turning around he glanced over to check the time on the phone. “Baby, it’s 2 in the morning.” He mumbled attempting to meet her gaze but sleep was even more stubborn, most of his curls either sticking to his face or up to the ceiling.

Hand caressed over her swollen belly with a slight pout across her lips. “There’s late night ice-cream parlors.” Belle muttered under her breath without giving him a glance.

Jungkooks’ eyes immediately flickered down to where she affectionately brushed over her cute belly. Clearly it was not only her cravings he had been stirred awake to satisfy. Sighing, he forced himself to sit up properly as one of his hands attempted to brush his hair down. “Alright…”

Belle couldn’t help the accomplished smirk tugged at her lips as she swung her legs over the edge of the bed to walk to the wardrobe. Although the slight heaviness caused more of a waddle than a proper walk. “Make sure to wear your mask, it’s cold.” And their faces were all too recognizable nowadays especially after the wedding. Three months had already gone by but it made more relevant than ever in the media making it harder to keep this pregnancy as secret as possible.

He hummed in agreement tapping a name on his phone before pressing it to his ear. “Jongho, put in the address of the closest late night ice cream parlor in the sedan.” Jungkooks’ voice still rung raspy from sleep as his hand rubbed his eyes to make himself more alert.

“A-I’m sorry could you repeat that sir?” Jongho asked politely, stammering a little.

“The closest late night ice-cream parlor.” He enunciated his words as dramatically yet clearly as he could.

“An–an ice-cream parlor?”

“Yeah you never heard of an ice-cream parlor before?”

Jongho cleared his throat lightly. “Yes, sir sorry I’ll—I’ll bring the car in right away.”

Belle pushed the sleeves off her shoulder, letting the gown easily drop to the ground leaving her in the slight cold air. Eyes quickly settled on any piece of comfortable warm clothing she could find. Grey sweat pants, loose T-shirt and a soft pink hoodie which let her body relish back into the embrace of heat.

Jungkook walked into the wardrobe squinting in the bright light, pausing in his tracks for a moment as he watched Belle put on a pink mask that pleasantly matched her hoodie. The corner of his lips twitched up looking at how much more comfortable she looked, possibly even more than she did in the night gown. Rare it was to see Belle in such a relaxed state when the woman spent most of her days looking perfectly presentable.

Making his way to corner, he quickly pulled on some black sweatpants with a hoodie and mask while noticing Belle tapping on a moisturizer on her skin with her mask hugging the underside of her chin. “Trying to look pretty for the ice cream?” Jungkook mused.

“You saying I don’t look pretty already, Mr. Jeon?”

“Positively glowing.”

“You’re good at flattering, I’ll give you that.” Belle chuckled, exiting the wardrobe towards the main bedroom, her arms automatically hugging her stomach.

Jungkook couldn’t help but smile as he rushed over to her side, placing a hand on the small of her back.

Through the doors of the bedroom, Belle immediately say Nana pad over with the deep red blanket in her arms. “You’re already warmed up.” She chuckled before handing over the thick and small fabric. “It’s a little tradition thing but it was Jungkooks’ when he was a baby. Good to keep over the belly when you leave the house.”

Belle accepted the blanket with a smile, an odd tingle down her spin at the realization of how small Jungkook used to be. A little being full of wonder who smiled at random things before reality destroyed every remnant. “It might be colder outside who knows.” She tried to reassure the older woman somehow.

“Thank you.” Jungkook lightly squeezed her shoulder as they walked past the woman who bowed with a smile in response.

Jongho already stood at the edge of the entrance to the living room, bowing as soon as he saw the couple. “Your car is ready. The drive to the ice-cream parlor will be about fifteen minutes.” He announced though he still felt like this whole thing was part of some prank.

“Thank you, Jongho.” Belle grinned, almost skipping past the guard in glee.

“You know I’m the one driving to the parlor right?” Jungkook sassed, a brow jolting up.

“Well you’re the father, honey, it’s your job.” Belle walked towards the entrance as the guards opened them like some grandiose banquet.

Black sedan shone like a beetle under the moonlight when they reached outside. Crisp nightly air flowed through even their warm clothing except for the blanket Belle hugged around her belly.

Jungkook opened the door for the woman letting her climb in carefully before walking over to his side. It had been a while since he went on a drive for something so leisure and relaxed. He couldn’t help but feel a rush of content maybe even a little excitement at this spontaneous late night trip.

As he sat in the car reacquainting himself with all the controls, Jungkook noticed from the corners of his eye how delicately Belle placed the blanket over her belly as if she was tucking it goodnight.

Then they drove off.

Fifteen minutes stretched out a little longer than Jungkook expected but eventually they saw the pastel and neon lights in the shape of an ice-cream cone hit their area of vision.

Parking closest to the shop, Jungkook hurried over to Belles’ side and helped her walk out.

“I can still climb out of cars.” Belle giggled at how attention he was trying to be.

Jungkook held onto her hand while they walked into the parlor with their masks fully secured.

Bright lights touched their half-sleepy eyes while the blanket hung over her free arm. People continued on their normal conversations without turning their heads in recognition which brought a rush of relief in her body. No one knew about the pregnancy since Belle formed a talent in choosing outfits that hid the growing bump. Of course at some point it would get hard to conceal it.

Jungkook and Belle padded to the counter to choose their flavors. Her eyes and taste buds immediately leaned towards the chocolate while the male simply followed her lead. The man had not enjoyed ice-cream since he was a child when Nana would serve it to him when he was upset usually because both his parents were out to work. He figured chocolate was the best way to start up the taste in his mouth again.

Once the orders were done and they were served ice-cream in cups, they walked to one of the tables in the corner and sat across from each other.

Belle, once again placed the blanket over her belly in the same delicate fashion while her mouth practically watered watching the ice-cream just sit there waiting.

“People really come here at this hour just to have ice-cream?” Jungkook glanced at the couples and friends happily eating ice-cream at their tables as if time stood still within these walls.

She shrugged, scooping her first bite with the tiny neon green spatula. “It’s just fun, I guess. Every now and then to break the rules of regular schedule.” Bringing the spatula up to her mouth, Belle suckled on it letting the sweetness grace her tongue and soothe her cravings little by little.

Jungkook poked at his ice-cream, mostly watching the woman enjoy her order and already feeling full. “Have you done this before?”

“Once.” Belle mumbled. “When I first started at Saito, my boyfriend at the time got really drunk so I took him for ice-cream at 2 am to sober him up.” How strange it was speaking out a past self. Someone who she used to be. A person with her own decisions, who knew her own dreams and aspirations while working hard to gain them. She was a damn fighter.

He pressed his lips together for a moment, bitter taste on his tongue. “What happened between you two?”

“I started making more money than him and he didn’t like it.” Belle replied simply.

Jungkook hummed in a little wonder. “So he was weak.” He scooped up a decent bite, some of his dark curls hovering over his eyebrows.

“Yeah he was.” Belle had a small smile slowly playing on her lips. “Did you have anyone before me?”

He nodded in a slight nonchalant nature. “One. We were going out for about two months.”

“What happened?”

“She was a red angel in Sangria House.” Jungkook admitted. “Someone married her with a huge sum and I just wasn’t ready enough for the commitment at the time.”

“So you’ve never actually gone out with someone in a normal way.” She pointed the neon spoon towards the male before licking the remnants off of it. “Do you even know to how to?”

Jungkook chuckled before shaking his head. “Dating lesson wasn’t really part of my regime when growing up. Marriage and kids, yeah but anything to learn before that kind of got fuzzy.”

Belle tilted her head watching the way his expression turned a little faint, almost borderline sad. It was that burst of a moment where she realized that Jungkook never really had a real childhood or any sense of the matter. Growing up learning nothing but business and building legacy with no sense of true warm compassion and empathy created a good mob boss. Not a good family man. Her hand immediately rubbed over her plump belly once again silently reassuring the growing being that she was going to keep them safe from this mess. “I don’t want our child to feel fuzzy.”

“He won’t.” His tone grew serious now. “I promise he won’t be raised like I was.”

“He?” Belle grinned.

“Or she. Sorry my aunt kept saying ‘he’ on the phone, I think she’s infected me.” He scratched his brow.

“It’s okay. They are okay with girls, right?” Her heart almost jumped out of her chest when the thought crossed her mind.

“Daughters are treated just as well in our family, don’t worry.”

“That’s good. Cause I don’t want her to be raised like I was either.” It was bad enough Belle spent her whole childhood always being told she wasn’t good enough to be like her brother. But the thought of her possible daughter going through it sickened her to the core.

Jungkooks’ fingers absentmindedly played with the hem of Belle’s hoodie sleeve. Those same fingers traced to her own, intertwining them together in a light lock.

For a brief moment Belle forgot everything again. They were back in their fantasy bubble where things were warm and welcoming. Jungkook was a sweet man who did nothing but give her affection in ways no one had ever done. He dedicated so much of his time and energy to taking care of her.

His empire, on the other hand, still tried to tape itself back together while a wrecking ball slowly hurdled towards it.

As the murmurs died down, Yoongi creeped outside of his bedroom door through the dark hallway. Quiet and a little chilly as sock covered feet slowly pattered across the floor. Only sound he could catch was Nana carefully walking down the stairs with a big basket full of laundry. He had the strong urge to help the woman but it would make it ten times harder to sneak towards the second living room.

Time had been running out. Four months really stretched over the amount of time he was supposed to be inside working but Yoongi knew what he had to get. With Belles’ pregnancy, Jungkooks’ attention fizzled and moved rapidly from the career to his new building family which usually ended with him out of his office more than he should be.

Belle once again proved her power in the Jeon mansion when a simple ice-cream parlor date seemed to get the dangerous drug lord out of the house in minutes at ungodly hours of the night. Though Yoongi honestly was not completely sure whether it was a ruse or just a rare strike of luck that she had cravings at this perfect time.

Ears pricked up when he heard a light crash from the right, clothes flying in the air and the sound of skin slapping onto wood roughly. Yoongis heart jumped seeing the older woman fall at the end of the stairs. However before he could step forward to help, three guards already rushed over immediately to her side like a pack of medics.

They huddled over Nana while she tried to laugh it away. “Just a little clumsy.” Her eyes seemed to flicker up exactly where Yoongi was standing. Only for a split second where he wondered if it was simply a random action.

Though if he stripped himself of any piece of naivety he had then it might not have been a random action at all.

While the three guards were preoccupied, Yoongi padded over as casually but quickly as possible out of the main living room towards the second living room.

Not glance over his shoulder but his heart still pattered and yearned to turn around. He had to be quick.

Across the second living room, his feet sped up until Yoongi couldn’t even keep up with it anymore.

He stood in front of the door of Jungkooks’ office which is when he finally looked over his shoulder to see the place empty aside from the sounds of Nana being helped at the stairs. Fingers wrapped around the golden knob, twisting it slowly hoping it didn’t squeak.

Turning and turning until all the door could was be pushed open.

Yoongi sneaked through small gap, entering the dark office before closing the door behind him.

Once the door closed, there was nothing stopping him from rushing towards the table almost making the wood underneath his feet squeak. He stood at the table where Jungkook would usually sit, gaze frantically searching anything that looked remotely helpful to what they needed.

Rustling through the papers, Yoongi found handwritten letters confirming deals and hard-copy information on secret funding towards dens. Patting the pocket of his pajama pants, he felt his phone, pulling it out and taking a picture as steadily as possible despite his hands trembling under the pressure of getting caught. He was at the heart of the nest now. If the guards saw him snooping around here, he would be dead instantly.

In his attempt to reorganize everything back again, he stumbled across one letter that looked unfinished. Yoongi had his phone ready until his eyes finally caught who it was written to, in Jungkooks’ handwriting.

‘Dear Mother and Father…’

Brows furrowed, slowing his pace for a moment while his chest still rose and fell in the heat of the moment. When Yoongis’ mind began gain a more steady pattern he began to read.

‘I’m sure you’ll be pleased to know that I got married recently. I want you to be one of the first to know that Belle is carrying my child. I apologize for being unable to tell you sooner. She’s doing really well, doctors appointment have been doing good.

The reason why I’m writing this letter is not only to inform you but to also carry out something I’ve been wanting for a long time.

When the baby is born, I’m stepping down. This world. Everything. I began a relationship with Belle hoping to make all of you happy by marrying the perfect woman. She was it. Unfortunately she was too perfect. I’ve grown fond of her.

Everything about her makes me feel calm and warm like I can be normal around her. I’m not even sure what is but it’s a good feeling from what I’ve experienced. My wife and child’s happiness need to come first. I want to grow a normal family with her.’

Yoongi felt like his hands were dirty reading the letter now. He was going to step down. Then that’s it, right? It was going to stop and maybe there could potentially be some form of normalcy in all their lives. He kept reading the few words left.

‘However protecting this empire before I’m gone also holds the utmost importance. In the remaining months of Belle’s pregnancy, I am devising a method that should get rid of our Park Chul situation once and for all…’

Heart moved back to its original speeding pace when there were no more words to explain just what Jungkook had planned. Yoongi almost crumpled the paper a little but quickly dropped it onto the table, taking a few more pictures before placing under the pile of extensive work.

His eyes flickered up to see a little light coming through the open gap and his stomach dropped, seeing Taehyung glance at the male and at the desk. Yoongi wrapped his fingers around a pen tightly not wanting to hurt him truly but they were so close. So close to getting this over and done with. Especially now that Jungkook had some plan to strike back at the one strong source they had to take him and his empire down.

“Kitchen. Now.” The younger male stated glancing over his shoulder to see anything oncoming.

Yoongi relaxed his grip on the pen and let out silent sigh of relief watching Taehyung walk away from the office and disappear to the side. He hurriedly tip-toed across the room looking back to see if he missed anything before sneaking through the gap again and closing the door.

When he looked over the guards seemed to be chatting in the center of the living room instead of peering towards the second living room for any disturbance. Yoongi could only hear their murmuring and light chuckling before blindly following Taehyung past the fireplace towards the door that led to the kitchen.

The kitchen had been modified significantly compared to the rest of the mansion which still had an vintage feel to it. White marble with subtle gold details shining in the dimmed warm lighting.

Taehyung padded over and stood at the kitchen island. Fingers tapping on the surface of the counter with a sigh passing his lips. “Okay look Angel already told me what’s going on.”

Yoongis’ brows furrowed. “Jesus Christ, is this an undercover mission or a party?” He kept his voice to a whisper, hands on his hips.

“Apparently Seokjin said there was no point in hiding it anymore now that Belle knew.” He shrugged although a confused expression still adorned his features. “Said if she’s involved, everything will fall into place.”

“So he’s playing Gandalf now too?” He retorted. “How much more is everyone gonna ask from Belle?”

Taehyungs’ heart dropped as the question lingered in the air, head hanging. That nagging feeling was slowly fading away but now it replaced with something so much more painful. A guilt of what cost had be paid for this recovery. He never truly paid for his debt. Belle did. “You’re going to help her out of here, right?”

“I’m trying.”

“That’s not a good enough answer.”

“I know it’s not.” Yoongi spoke through gritted teeth. “But it’s all I can give you right now.”

Taehyung nodded, body deflating a little despite the slight ray of hope that all this might change for the better. “Is there any way I can help?” Ever since this whole mess began, he had not been able to ensure his little sister that he had her back. Because he didn’t for a while. All his thoughts seemed meld into one hazy need to get rid of the pain he felt. Except that time the pain never identified itself. Taehyung knew why it hurt this time. He wanted his sister out of here, towards a better life just like she did for him.

Yoongi searched the mans’ expression turn into something a little more desperate. He succumbed to drowning in that same feeling. Nana’s honest words ringing in his ears. This is not just an undercover mission anymore. He hadn’t even been there for that long; not as long as Taehyung but god, he could feel it. That aching tug wanting to hold onto Belle and take her away from all the pain she didn’t deserve. That fucking burning anger at the people who used every piece of her patience and good heart only to rip it away from her permanently. It sickened him knowing the woman never wanted all this in the first place.

His hand tightened around his phone when a thought jolted in his mind. “Do you trust anyone in the Sangria House?” Yoongi asked.

Taehyung had no hesitation in any nerve of his body or part of his soul when he said: “Yes.”

A familiar outing now waltzing into the Sangria House early morning when the air was cool and the sun just almost took its highest point in the sky. Brunette hair flowed to the side as he walked across the pathway through the entrance door with everyone immediately recognizing his face.

However today Taehyung walked in a less relaxed demeanor than normal as a tiny object in his jacket pocket grew heavier, forcing him to walk slower. You’re doing this for Belle. He knew Angel told him the truth about everything but something about this still felt like he was diving into a pool where he could not see the end.

Into the private room he was lead, the white coat opened the door and Taehyung saw Angel standing in front of the table

Angels’ smiled immediately adorned her glowing features as Taehyung walked into the room. As soon as the white coat closed the door behind him, she broke all manner of rules and jumped on him, arms wrapping around his neck and face buried into the crook.

Whatever knotted nerves he had loosened when Angel embraced him, warmth radiating from her body onto his and the scent of vanilla gracing his nose. His own arms wrapped around her waist, nose nudging into her shoulder to take in more of her aroma and ease all troubles.

“I thought you weren’t coming back.” Angel murmured. A month had passed since his last visit and it was embarrassing to admit that she grew a little worried. After all the two were not really doing anything exciting other than talking. At some point people would get bored and move onto someone who would easily provide better services.

Taehyung hummed in near bliss, rubbing his hand up and down her back. “I’m sorry.” His voice muffled against the fabric of Angels’ dress.

She gently pulled away from the hug even though Taehyungs’ arms were still secure around her. “Don’t apologize. I just get worried.” Angel chuckled shyly. Another bright smile tugged at her lips now as she broke his embrace but held his hand, leading him over to the table where a colorful array of rice cakes on a plate rested. “They made more flavors this time because you liked it so much.”

Taehyung could hear the delight in her voice making his heart warm. For a moment, he wished this was just a casual visit as they sat down next to each other once again. “Thank you…” His voice merely came out in a whisper. “Angel—” He placed his hand over hers, caressing it softly. “There’s another reason why I’m here.”

Angel’s smile softened now, not so much as a frown but an kind expression to show she was listening in all seriousness. “What is it?”

“You’ve already helped me so much.” Taehyung wrapped his longer fingers around her small, soft hand turning his body around so he faced her completely. “I need you to help me just this once. For my sister.” He grinned. “Are the cameras on in here?”

“I asked Seokjin to turn it off.” She smiled shyly. “It’s—it’s so I could hug you without the guards barging in.”

Taehyung grinned leaning in, forehead pressed against hers. “I wish I could stay longer…I really do.” He whispered. “But we’re not going to be able to see each other for a while.”

“I know.” Angel whispered, voice shaking ever so slightly. “What do you need me to do?” There she was again with the award-winning smile ready to do whatever she was required no matter what the cost.

“Please—I don’t want anything to happen to you.” He shook his head. “Say no if you want to.”

Angel caressed his chest gently as a way to comfort him. “I’m always safe, Taehyung. Believe me, I’ve probably been safer than Belle this whole time.” Shining eyes met his gaze giving him a more faint but hundred times more genuine smile. “No one deserves to have their life taken away like that. I want to do this.”

Taehyung had a bitter taste on his tongue hearing those words. Belle had been less safe than members of the Sangria House. Her own made-up home and equally fake family could not keep her safer than Seokjin did with his angels. “Okay.” He whispered, reaching into jacket pocket and pulling the tiny object. He placed it on his open palm making the thing look absolutely miniscule.

A USB stick, dark almost matching the color of Taehyung’s jacket. Angel accepted it and placed it in the last place anyone was coming looking. If they did, it would end in a heap load of trouble. Once the object was in her hand, she stuffed it in between her breast until it lay securely in her bra but unseen.

He bit down the wide smirk tugging at his lips watching the USB stick traveling down the valley of her breasts, hiding in the forbidden area for safe keeping. “Was that to tease me?”

Angel giggled reaching out and caressing his cheek. “Maybe a little.” She scrunched her nose.

Taehyung absolutely melted at the adorable sight, taking the liberty of the shut cameras to lean in and press the quickest kiss on her lips. “I-I know it’s against the rules.” Before he could explain himself any further, he felt soft plush lips quieten him down again, his heart jumped out of his chest.

Quickly pulling away from the kiss, she bit down her bottom lip to hide her grin. “There’s no rules anymore between you and me. Just don’t take too long getting back, okay?”

He chuckled and nodded. “You know what to do?” Taehyungs’ eyes absentmindedly flickered down to her breast.

With all her usual elegant confidence, she smiled. “You and your sister will be safe soon.”

The air was thick with elegance and style, vibrant colors of yellow, sky blue and rose pink gracing every corner twinkling in diamonds. Growing up Belle watched in awe every fashion show or design video imagining her own name etched on the curtains for all the critics and admirers to see.

Belles’ own attire was simple, long white dress with long, layer frills that helped conceal the bump to the best of its ability. Worst case scenario people would think she let herself go but really the news should be coming soon considering a four month bump already proved to be difficult to hide no matter what the dress looked like.

Makeup artists actively moved about each model almost like machines while Belle checked every outfit was fitted to perfection.

Only thing that doused the fire of energy was the aching. Her back, limbs and belly kept sending either dull or sharp pains ever since this morning which caused Belle to have a less than enthusiastic demeanor while preparing for everything.

Boyoung explained that it was normal to have these aches during the fourth month of pregnancy so Belle let it be. Except now she wished she had time for a small appointment with the doctor just to check everything was okay.

“Madame Belle!”

Saito’s voice brought her back to reality while she was fixing a models’ earring. Belle turned over her shoulder to see the woman wearing a white attire as well to ensure colors did not clash with the actual designs. A grin tugged at the corners of her lips, kindly giving the model good luck before turning to see the older woman. “Am I allowed to be called that yet?”

“Sweetie, you deserved to be called that long before this fashion show.” Saito chuckled, rubbing her arm. “How’re you feeling?” She tilted her head searching the youngers’ expression.

Belle took a deep breath feeling a jolting ache on her back but she smiled nonetheless. “I’m okay. A little nervous.”

“Good. It’s good to be a little nervous. That means you care.” Saito squeezed her shoulder gently. “I’ll be here with you the whole time.”

“Thank you.” Belle’s eyes flickered to the side where she saw a familiar figure in a suit walk backstage with his gaze looking around for something. “Excuse me, Saito.” She muttered before moving past her towards Jungkook.

When Jungkook finally set his eyes on her, his expression softened and a smile tugged at his lips. “You ready?”

She nodded mimicking his smile absentmindedly. “You came, I thought you had meetings.”

Jungkook shrugged non-chalantly. “I’m their boss. They can wait.”

Belle chuckled lightly watching Taehyung make his way backstage but one person still missing. “Where’s Yoongi?”

“He’s at his seat already.” The man nodded to the side. Jungkooks’ hand almost automatically reached out to caress her belly gently before quickly pulling away. “I’ll—see you at the end of the show.” He smiled.

“Yeah…” She whispered, giving him a bright grin.

For a moment he thought to just turn on his heel and leave but he couldn’t resist. Leaning in, Jungkook chastely pressed his lips against hers. Slowly he stepped back pressing his lips together before walking away.

Belles’ smile disappeared as soon as Jungkook was out of sights. Maybe to him the kiss meant a sign of good luck for the show. To her, it was a kiss to say goodbye.

Fingers caressed the warrant like his first born child, brush of light cool air bringing even more relief than Namjoon already had. God how many years did he sacrifice his health, sleep and sanity to come to this moment? Where he had a car parked just outside the gates of the Jeon mansion awaiting the clear sign for them to enter.

Of course the captain had some reluctance in giving them the warrant but a direct order from the mayor had him quaking enough to give the approval.

Every nerve in his body tingled in anticipation, looking at the paper before staring at the majestic mansion. All that power was about to crumble down to the state it deserved to be in. Obsolete.

Granted the male was not naïve in thinking that this infiltration will end everything. The Jeon family had roots so deep in this city that it would take ripped out the entire land just to get rid of everything. But this was a first step to ensure the empire never grew too big for its own good.

Every King needed to lose their crown every now and then to learn that they were just a person underneath all that luxury and power. Easily breakable.

And Namjoon felt oh so pleased finally being able to break Jeon Jungkook in his tyrannous reign.

In a perfect pattern, that thought led to the gates finally opening with two police officers signaling to him that the coast was clear to enter.

“It’s time. Places, everyone!” Belle called out and all the models rushed over to the area they needed to come out from. Her own heart pounded faster at every second and another ache jolted in her abdomen now strong enough to make her wince. But she held her composure with all the strength could muster.

Then the first model walked out onto the runway and her stomach jumped knowing her path to any possible reputation as a designer now began its course.

Camera flashed even more violently than before as Belle caught a few happy murmurs from the crowd. She smiled before another searing burst of pain hit both her abdomen and back forcing her to stop for a moment to take deep breaths, her hand caressing her belly to somehow soothe it.

“Just bear with me for a minute, sweetheart.” She whispered to the belly as it seemed to getting more and more violent in its power.

Halfway through the show, Belle succumbed to leaning on anything close by with the constant pain but her smile stayed intact. She felt something uncomfortable between her legs as if a period came along without her knowing.

That was when worry sunk in. Before she could place any attention on it however, one of her models’ dress got snagged with the necklace. Belle almost could not catch her name being called but the woman quickly got herself back and rushed to separate them to ensure no thread was out of place.

“Belle?” Saitos’ hand hovered over her back with a worried expression on her face. “You okay?”

No. That was the initial answer that formulated in her mind as she once again leaned back on one of the vacant vanities. “I’m okay it’s just—a little sore.” The description had been underwhelming to describe whatever was happening to Belle. Her knees were losing all its power to hold her body up, even her hearing ability became a little muffled as if trying to conserve energy or to numb more of the pain.

Saito nodded though not looking completely convinced since she could see through the younger female on any occasion. Gaze flickered down to her belly before meeting hers again. “Tell me if you need to stop. It’s just a show, okay?” She briefly caressed her cheek before glancing over at the models coming in and out, trying to analyze the situation. “Two more outfits left then we’ll go to the doctor.” She muttered. “Alright?”

Belle took another deep breath, cheeks puffing out a little in the process but she nodded putting herself back on her feet again. “Alright.”

All the models made their way to the stage showing off a final viewing of all the outfits in all their glory and the crowd soared. Anyone who knew Belle could feel the success simply oozing from this show. The sheer extravagance yet simplicity with subtle connections to the beautiful expression of nature during spring time brought an impressed smile even on the harshest critics.

If only the designer herself could completely enjoy this achievement without her whole body being overwhelmed with discomfort and pain.

“You have to go out for a bow.” Saito explained gently as Belle tried her best to focus only on her breathing.

Aside from her muffled hearing, her whole body now burned like a furnace making Belle a little lightheaded. It’s almost done. It’s almost done. One more smile.

God, that was the last thing she wanted to think on her first successful fashion show.

Once again the woman nodded giving Saito a big smile which she returned before turning on her heel and walking to the stage. Step after the other carefully trying to keep her composure as best as she could.

Then all Belle saw was a bright white light, her hearing now resorted to a high-pitched drawled out beep making her think she was watching a muted video in front of her. Shaking fingers intertwined with one another, the girl stretched her exhausted lips into a wide grin. Heavy head lowered into the most decent form of a bow without her legs giving out.

Keep it in. Keep it in. She repeated to herself, trying to focus on her breathing while barely being able to hear anything.

Camera flashed and the crowds applause tried to push the barrier of mute suddenly formed in her ears. Belle could see the smiles however. That was all she needed. They liked it. They liked her designs. Her work paid off just like she always dreamed. That thought kept her standing on the stage in the best composure she could muster. Another bow given to each side ensuring they knew how grateful she was.

Maybe for a brief second, Belle forgot her whole body was warning of something in messages of deep ache and lack of orientation or balance.

Though it quickly came back for another reminder. This time more persistent. Belle felt like her belly was being jabbed by something sharp in such a ruthless manner, she worried she could collapse right here on the floor. Even her legs trembled and the discomforting feeling between her legs now almost felt wet like it soaked through her panties.

Belle kept her smile though it was trembling significantly before she backed away out of the stage, almost running but there was hardly any strength left for that anymore.

The white light now faded away and she was away from the stage, coming in backstage.

As if something snapped in her willpower when Belle felt her legs stumble onto the floor just past the closed curtains. Knees crashed against the wooden floor leaving a thud echoing across the room.

Both Saito and Taehyungs’ smiles disappeared watching the bright looking woman drop to her knees, only thing they could hear now was her agonized whimpering.

Saito sped towards her before anyone else truly gauge the situation, heels slamming onto the floor before her arm over the youngers’ shoulder as she almost fell on her side. “Belle?” She turned her around to see mascara coated tears dripping down Belle’s cheeks. “Belle what’s wrong? Tell me please.”

“It hurts…” Belle cried out, lips trembling and the drenched feeling between her legs leaking down the insides of her thighs and making her dress stick to her skin. “The baby…” She whispered before gasping.

For a few seconds her vision turned white making her whine shakily as her lower belly felt like it was being ripped apart with someone’s bare hands. Cold tears under her eyes, unable to close her legs from the sloppy sensation and the pungent smell of blood. Belle tried to look down but all she could catch was a glimpse of her white dress now glistening in deep red.

“You sick fuck get out of here!” Taehyung grabbed the reporter by the collars just after the flash of his camera. He had every nerve in his body to punch him until his nose fell to the floor but the sound of his sister sobbing made him stop.

Three guards immediately rushed in and carried the reporter off backstage while they tried to thrash around like a dirty insect.

Taehyung breathed heavily grimacing at the pig before looking at one of the guards who looked equally distressed. “Get Jeon here now.” He gestured.

Eyes shone in delight as Jungkook looked at the audience chatting away with an air of enthusiasm. He could almost see his wife climbing up this ladder of success. She deserved every bit of it especially since the man now saw the designs for himself. Growing up seeing Saitos’ designs, it was pleasing to see that the style may have changed but the quality never diminished.

A guard then walked over to him, reluctantly tapping him on the shoulder and leaning into his ear so his voice could be heard only to them in the crowd. “Sir it’s your wife… there’s been an incident.”

As soon as those words were muttered in his ear Jungkooks smile disappeared. He knew there were cameras around but nothing else seemed whirl around his mind except Belle. His body grew cold at those horrid words that he hoped would never come together.

Feet bolted, passing the guard to backstage even though his increasingly pounding heart made it hard to move faster.

Yoongis’ stomach and heart were already dancing in distress this whole night after getting a call from Namjoon that they would be infiltrating Jeon mansion tonight and then arresting him as soon as possible for the amount of concerning evidence. The police would be waiting for Jungkook to be taken away at his own home. It was a cruel fate in a normal context but for a man like Jeon Jungkook, it was what everyone knew he deserved.

However then the guard rushed in to whisper something in Jungkooks’ ear and without even the slightest warning or preparation, Jungkook stepped into a run backstage.

If his nerves were not in knots already, now they were just tangled up forever. Not asking for any kind of clarification, he simply followed the younger male in the same pace knowing only one thing and one thing alone could have Jungkook so worried to be in such a rush.

Once Jungkook arrived backstage, breathing heavily and sweat already forming on his neck, his stomach twisted at the sight in front of him.

Saito wrapped dark burgundy cloth around Belle’s waist area, his wife’s white dress tainted with red while the models either wept or just looked utterly worried.

Taehyung had a phone to his ear speaking through gritted teeth possibly to a doctor attempting to give instructions.

Jungkook rushed towards the woman, tears already burning behind his eyes just looking at her sobbing in complete pain. “What’s happening? What do we do?” He whispered. For the first time in his life, the man had fear seeping through his tone.

Belle gripped onto Saitos’ clothes feeling her vision blur although she wasn’t sure it was from the tears or the lack of her ache ceasing. Before she could get her bearings, something hooked under her back and knees. Her body lifted from the ground and cold rush flowed through her from the speed she was being moved in.

Then all Belle could see was black. Everything shut down almost as if she was lulled to a deep sleep.

Yoongi practically kicked the door down as they tried to get out the backdoor. He opted to drive before anyone else could, running to the driver’s seat of the black sedan waiting just in case paparazzi rushed in too thick at the entrance.

Saito and Taehyung ran out with Jungkook following close behind, carrying Belle as securely as he could despite his stomach lurching.

Taehyung opened the door while Saito moved to the other side and climbed in.

Jungkook tried to place Belle laying down on the car seat as gently as possible before climbing in at the same time Taehyung sat in the passenger seat.

Before they could even close their doors, Yoongi drove off definitely breaking a few speeding rules as he practically burst into the streets, tires screeching against the tar.

“Go to the J District, there’s a shortcut button there.” Jungkook nodded to the GPS, city lights passing across his face.

“This isn’t time for a road trip, Jungkook.” Yoongi seethed.

“We need to go to the private house and get our own medic.” He argued.

Taehyung pressed the button even though anger still burned in his body. “Why can’t we just go to a fucking hospital? It’ll be closer.”

“Hospitals are public places, alright? The minute one disloyal nurse gets a glimpse of any of us, the press will be outside in seconds.”

Yoongis’ grip around the steering wheel tightened so much, he could feel his pulse through his palm as his knuckles grew white. “I swear to god, Jeon. This isn’t one of your damn danger missions.” Something cracked inside him and the male couldn’t seem keep any of the usual composure he had around the power figure.

Jungkook sighed looking over at Belle who struggled to keep her consciousness while her blood soaked through his own shirt. “Just do it.” He spoke through gritted teeth.

“Taehyung, dear get a medic to the private home now so no time is wasted.” Saito broke into the tension with her gently yet firm voice while her slightly blood stained hand brushed through Belle’s hair. “If she doesn’t get treatment quickly, it might cause an infection.”

Yoongi glanced at the rearview mirror, his heart feeling empty not being able to see Belle from this line of vision but he increased his speed anyway taking a quick left.

“If anything happens to her, Jeon I’ll kill you, I swear to god.” Taehyungs’ eyes were reddened and glossy, a phone pressed to his ear again as he called for a private medic to go to the Jeons’ private house immediately.

Belle jolted awake for a moment seeing a grey ceiling and a blurry vision of a face looking down. Some voices spoke but they were heavily muffled. Then her body felt like it was being moved again. As if she was flying or levitating somehow through her locations. “Tae—” It was the only name she could breathe out.

A burst of bright warm lighting hit her exhausted eyes making her close them for a moment. It left her trying to get her hearing together but they were still difficult to pick up. She heard a familiar deep voice. Her big brothers’ voice. Most of them seemed familiar except one who from whatever she could catch had a calm demeanor.

Her vision cleared just for a second but Belle was welcomed with blood dripping from something thick around her waist. At least she thinks it was from her. It tainted the wooden floors nonetheless.

In a few more heartbeats, she felt a soft surface under her body and Belle fully melted into it without any hesitance.

Jungkook backed away reluctantly as the doctor leaned in to examine Belle. A tear threatening to escape at the brim of his right eye.

Taehyung bit down the urge to sob looking at the amount of blood his baby sister shed on the floor. He looked around for some kind of cloth and found white hand towel with golden lettering. Grabbing the cloth, he crouched down to wipe off the trail of blood on the floor while his tears mixed in with it.

“We need to get some cleaner clothes on her.” The doctor stated looking over at Saito who quickly nodded.

“There’s some nightgowns in the cupboard.” Jungkook muttered, gesturing towards the white closet next to the vanity.

Saito shrugged her jacket off leaving her in her shirt tucked into her skirt as she opened the luxurious cupboard and pulled out the most breathable nightgown. Walking back to the bed, she climbed on the other side after pushing her shoes off.

The doctor took out some scissors and cut the middle of her dress so it could be ripped off easily since it was mostly ruined as it were. Saito helped the piece of clothing get shrugged off her shoulders.

Belle whined at the sudden cold feeling passing through her body. It definitely didn’t help since the blood began to stick to her skin.

Jungkook noticed the little sound and rushed to the fireplace, crouching down and switching it on to add more warmth to the room. His disoriented focus had to stare the running fire for a moment not able to gain any kind of patterned thinking. Shrugging his jacket off his shoulder, he threw it onto the chair to his side where his mother would usually read.

“May I have only one extra person in this room?” The doctor asked kindly.

Jungkook looked over his shoulder, snapping back to reality as Taehyung got up to his feet.

“I’ll take care of her.” Saito reassured the both of them.

Niether one of them opposed knowing there was really only one person who always took care of Belle without her having to give something in return.

Both males padded out of the room. Jungkook gave one final glance towards Belle before closing the door in front of him.

Once they reached the private home and Taehyung and Jungkook were preoccupied with getting Belle acquainted, Yoongi stopped at the entrance to shakily grab his phone. A light groan passed his lips when he couldn’t get his thoughts together to click the number. Eventually the memory came in and he typed the number in, pressing the phone to his ear.

“Yoongi we’re ready, where are you?” Namjoon muttered into the phone.

“Something’s happened, it’s Belle. We’re at the private home at J District. Get yourself fucking ready here now.” Yoongi quickly informed and hung the phone up, trying to delete the number on his phone as calmly as he could. His hand reached into his holster to feel the harsh object giving him some form of relief aside from the ache in his heart.

Walking into the private home, he saw Jungkook pacing around worriedly while Taehyung leaned back against the counter with his arms folded over his chest.

Yoongi found it so strange how a man of such power could look so vulnerable in front of him. It was the perfect time except he had a bitter taste on his tongue calling it ‘perfect’. To think it took Belle to go through an immense amount of pain for this to happen made him look more like the villain than the murderous druglord worried for his wife and heir.

It felt like eternity had passed and restarted again when Belle finally woke up without her vision being blurry or her hearing almost completely lost. The wet feeling between her legs now completely dry and even comfortably warm. Pain slowly subsided though there was still very faint ache that also slowly passed.

Reddened eyes flickered over to the side where she saw Saito listening to a man in a white suit talking to her in a soft murmur.

The expression on Saitos’ face only spoke concern or maybe pity.

“Saito?” Belle tried to speak but it came out in a raspy whisper, throat a little ticklish from how dry it was.

Saito looked over at the younger woman, sighing before meeting the doctors’ gaze. “I’ll tell her, you just inform the three men out there.” She gave him a reassuring nod.

“Of course.” The doctor agreed before opening the door and disappearing behind it.

Once it was just the two of them, Belle tried to shift in the bed to somehow sit up but the ache only increased making her wince.

“No no, stay still.” Saito quickly sat down on the edge of the bed, soothing her still swollen belly and held onto her hand.

“What—what happened? Where am I?” She looked around the strange bedroom before glancing down at her belly. “I–I can’t…” Belle placed a hand over her belly. “There was so much blood.” Her breath hitched in her throat.

“Belle…” Saito tried to keep her voice as calm as possible even though her heart dropped seeing the look of confusion and fear ridding the youngers’ face. “The doctor said your baby may have had a heart defect of some sort…” She gulped down. “It couldn’t survive, sweetie.” She tried to soothe her chest. “I’m sorry.”

Belle shook her head, feeling a burning behind her eyes. “No…no the–the doctors’ appointment—said everything—was fine.” She tried to breathe through her frantic sobs. “Why would they say it was fine?” She pulled herself up, wincing as tears collecting at the brim of her eyes. “Why would they say it was fine if there was a heart defect?”

Saito took a deep breath, squeezing her shoulders gently. “Sometimes they can’t catch it. These things are very difficult to predict, Belle.”

She had already been unconscious before now something else seemed to turn off inside her. As if the whole world did not crash or explode. But simply stopped working for the arrival of cruel fates’ plan.

Torturous amount of time passed before the doctor walked through the door with a solemn expression on his face giving none of them any sense of reassurance. Because there wasn’t any to give. He looked at all three of them who had stopped in their usual tracks to gaze at the older male. “I’m sorry, Mr. Jeon.” The doctor looked more at Jungkook now. “Your wife has had a miscarriage. I’ve cleaned everything up to ensure there was no infection but I do suggest that she go to a proper hospital for proper checkups.”

Jungkook looked completely frozen as the news lingered in the already thickened air. He backed away a little, balance on the edge of a study table of whatever it was the man didn’t care. Tears brimmed at his eyes trickling down his already flushed cheeks without a care in the world.

If Yoongi didn’t feel like a villain before, he did now.

Taehyung turned away to face the wall but he could still hear the light sobs passing his lips.

Yoongi faced the doctor and led him out of the home.

Out in the dark night, he smiled at the doctor giving him thanks as he opened his car door for him.

Once the doctor drove off onto the road, Yoonginoticed from the corners of his eye the figures moving around in the bushes around on his left and right. Blatantly the man turned to notice the dark uniforms even from the distance, their badges glimmering just a little in the light. On the right he heard the sound of metal moving.

It was time. This had to happen here and now or never.

Licking his lips he let out a deep sigh and walked back inside, once again, checking his holster before entering the house again.

Sound muffled to non-existence as the room seemed to get progressively smaller, walls hugging her still body. It ached everywhere. She could feel the burn and still smell the pungent stench of her own blood tainting the now soft, dry surface. Back cramped, lower belly so weakened as if it was punched a hundred times with spiked metal fists. Exhaustion clouded Belle’s mind, pulling this broken shell into a decent lull to slumber but her eyes stayed wide open. Unblinking. She stared at nothing and everything.

Mind finally accustomed itself to the new setting of the Jeons’ private home. Deep warm lighting from the lamps at each corner, dark wooden floors and a running fireplace facing the front of the bed. Belle remembered catching a glimpse of it when they carried her in here leaving a wet red trail on the floor as she was moved. Her body barely moved however, limbs burning but frozen at the same time. Belle told herself to try and wriggle her toes or move her fingers. Not a single nerve responded.

She had one thing in common with her mind now. Loneliness.

So strange to think that a being barely grown to be called a full human could place such a heavy weight on Belle’s head. The loss now brought this in this feeling of being alone. Belle was once two. Now she was one broken thing. Barely able to move or function.

The door clicked open but Belle still refused to move whether out of exhaustion or just lack of care. It didn’t matter what anyone said, that empty feeling was still there.

Saito stayed silent as long as she felt it was necessary. But the words seemed to fall out of her without control. “I really can’t say anything to make you feel better, honey. There’s no easy way to comfort someone who’s lost something that could’ve been.”

Persistently unmoving as the woman was, her eyes still flooded on its own accord, burning and liquid flowing onto the pillow. This wasn’t Belle’s fault. It wasn’t anyone fault. Nothing but fate once again showing how it never had it out for her in the first place.

That was the problem though, wasn’t it? Belle spent so much time praying for fate to do something right for her but it only gave her more pain. What was going to happen for the better if she just stood and smiled at all the suffering thrown her way? Fate gave her a fake marriage, forced her to fall in love with a man who only cared about his reputation. Fate allowed her to be impregnated against her will. Fate stood by while Belle lost the child she grew to love. The child she had envisioned to raise and protect was now gone.

“It’s a good thing.” Belle whispered, still not shifting from her position nor looking at Saito.

The older womans’ brows furrowed. “What do you mean by that?”

It had to stop. It had to stop now or never.

Belle pursed her lips together before swallowing down the lump in her throat, preparing the words that kept swirling in her mind for months. Begging to escape so she could be free. Finally she moved her head to meet Saitos’ gaze. Despite her weak nature, her eyes held firm onto hers to ensure that the woman heard and understood everything she was going to say.

“There’s something I need to tell you…about how Jungkook and I met.”

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#jungkook #jungkook imagines #bts imagines #jungkook fanfic #bts fanfic #jungkook fanfiction #bts fanfiction #jungkook mafia au #bts mafia au

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simpsiren · 4 years

Text

closer to you

lee jeno x reader

main masterlist

the sequel

description. you’re in a 2 year relationship with jaemin. the two of you know very well that you arent each other’s soulmates but you still felt that jaemin was the right one for you. that is until you are celebrating your 2 year anniversary with jaemin that memories of you being with someone else in your so called “past life” starts coming back to you, as if wanting to make you realise that your soulmate is still out there.

genre. soulmate au, strangers to lovers au, fluff and angst

warnings. none? except for the fact that reader becomes violent in their words when they’re stressed i guess

a/n. literally got this idea from the flashback tiktoks thats been appearing in my fyp. like ive seen it so many times that i just had to write about it HAHA alrighty thats all enjoyy :D

when the idea of soulmates was first represented to humans, humans deeply believed in it, and would follow the idea of it religiously to find the one that they are truly meant to be with. however, now in the modern day, the idea of soulmates is slowly disappearing. people still believe that the number engraved on the side of their right foot is the time and date that they’ll meet their soulmates, but people of this generation start ignoring that fact, marrying someone that isnt even their soulmate. it left their actual soulmate to either die alone, or having to force themselves to love and marry someone else other than their soulmate.

and now here you are, surrounded by your friends with jaemin sitting next to you, your boyfriend of two years who’s number on the side of his foot does not match yours.

“blow out the candles already!” you hear johnny screaming. you and jaemin turn to look at each other at the same time, giving a smile before blowing out the two candles on the red velvet cheesecake that signified your two year relationship with jaemin.

you laugh loudly as everyone claps for the two of you. jaemin quickly places a peck on your cheek, making everyone smile widely. “i love you.” jaemin whispers into your ear.

“i love you too.”

“do you really not care who your actually soulmate is? you know very well jaemin isnt yours.” you purse your lips into a thin line as you find jaehyun leaning against the doorframe of your bedroom.

“does it look like i care? who the hell even cares? ill be with who i wanna be! i aint gonna follow some ‘oh you’re destined to be with this guy’ type bullshit.” you giggle to yourself as you took a sip the whiskey in hand, despite already being in a very drunken state.

jaehyun walks over to you and snatches the glass away from you. you whine and beg for it back, but you know all too well that jaehyun is not going to give you what you want. you let out a huff in response.

“my god, evaline. how drunk can you be?” jaehyun takes a seat on the chair that faces your bed, in which you are currently rolling on and mumbling to yourself about god knows what.

jaehyun sighs as he looks at you. he’s been your friend for almost forever yet he still cant get over the fact that no matter how hard he tries to persuade you that jaemin isnt your soulmate, you give zero fucks about it.

“i really hope he comes in your dreams or something. if i can’t convince you, then why isnt the world doing anything about it?” jaehyun whispers to himself, resting his chin on his palm as his elbow is placed on the arm rest of the chair.

you wake up with a sharp pain in your head. you wince as you slowly tried to sit up straight. you rub your eyes and try looking around your room. everything is normal, except for the fact that jaehyun is sleeping on your chair. you shrug your shoulders as you let out a long sigh and stare at the door in front of you, spacing out for a little. after at least five minutes of you doing nothing and staring off into who knows what, you gather up your strength to stand up from your bed. you stagger your way over to jaehyun.

“jae, wake up already. make me something to sober up- ouch!”

your foot suddenly hurt, making you stumble back and fall onto the floor. you flinched in fear when you realise the number on your foot is glowing. you scream in pain as you feel as though something thin and sharp is constantly stabbing your foot. the spinning in your head only made it worse. jaehyun wakes up from all your screaming and drops down on the floor to assist you quickly.

“evaline? eva! what’s wrong? wait why’s it glowing..” jaehyun eyes travel from your scrunched up face to your leg, noticing the number that’s glowing.

suddenly, your vision became blurry. you lost sight of what’s happening around you. you dont see your room and jaehyun in front of you anymore. you struggled as you try to squint your eyes to get your vision to be clear. it took awhile for your vision to come back. and when it did, something wasnt right.

it was like you were having a flashback. a flashback to a time you were unfamiliar with. you didn’t remember experiencing it at all. but the flasback looked like memories that you feel a sudden strong connection with.

the flashback was vivid. you couldn’t tell exactly what was going on. you saw a guy, estimated to be around your age, who’s smiling widely till his eyes form a thin line and holding up a polaroid camera to your point of view. you heard him laugh as snaps a picture and the camera’s flash shined your view. you soon focused your vision again onto the guy. he’s waiting for the film to develop. and that’s all you saw. a small snippet of a far distant memory which you arent even sure if it happened.

after that, you snapped out of your odd trance. you feel jaehyun shaking your shoulders with the look of extreme concern on your face. you bring your hand up to your head and scratch it slowly as you tilt your head in awe. jaehyun stops his actions as looks at you wierdly.

“what the fuck did i just experience?” you mumble to yourself, trying to process what you just went through. you look up from the floor to see jaehyun blinking his eyes rapidly.

“you saw what?”

you were this close to slapping jaehyun in the face.

“how many times do i have to fucking repeat myself?! i got a flashback of a memory of some random dude that i dont even know about!”

jaehyun’s mouth remains open in shock and confusion. it took him a few seconds to process your words. and when it did, he places both his hands on the table.

“its a sign.” your forehead creases as you look at him weirdly.

“the fuck you just say?” you pick up your fork and stab it into your freshly cooked fried chicken meal.

“is this the first time you experience it?” jaehyun asks you as he takes a sip of water. you took a moment to think about it.

“yeah it is.” you breathe out. jaehyun only nodded his head. he starts thinking about what he wished for that night had something to do with what happened to you.

“you know what? forget it. i need to meet up with jaemin for our date. ill see you around.” you finish what’s left on your plate, waving to jaehyun before leaving the restaurant.

jaehyun watches your back as you slowly disappear into the distance. “it cant be... can it?” jaehyun shakes his head and continues eating.

“hey, babe. how was lunch with jaehyun?” jaemin wraps his arm around your waist as he leans down to peck your lips.

“it was good. let’s get ice cream.” you give off a wide smile and dragged jaemin to the famous ice cream shop that you were dying to try.

by the time you were halfway to finishing your ice cream, it was already 8pm. you’re weekly ice cream date with jaemin never fails to be extended as your chats with him grow longer and longer with every date.

as jaemin was talking, your mind goes back to the time you had that odd flashback. you wonder what it meant, or whats the significance of it. why did that suddenly happen to you? what can you do to make it go away? because for all you know, you have everything you need right here, in front of you. you had jaemin.

“eva? hello~?” jaemin waves his hand in front of you to snap you back into reality. you shake your head vigorously. “oh shit im sorry jaemin what did you say?” jaemin smiles softly as he repeats over what he say.

it was about 10pm and you decided it was finally time to go home. you would have taken the train alone but jaemin insisted on accompanying you home and going back by himself after. you and jaemin were walking down the street that will lead to your apartment when jaemin sudden opens his mouth to ask you something.

“did you ever believe about the soulmate thing?” you stop walking and turn your body to face jaemin. jaemin does the same, shoving his hands in his pockets.

you shrug your shoulder and placed your weight on one leg. “i used to, but i slowly started to think it was ridiculous and that i should be able to love who i want, not someone im destined to be with.” you reply, slowly reaching your hand out to run your hand through jaemin’s hair. he smiles at your touch and pulls you in with your other arm, hugging you gently.

“im glad to be the one that you love, despite the fact that im not who you’re destined to be with.” jaemin strokes your hair and digs his head into the crook of your neck. you rub his back slowly. “me too.” you kiss jaemin on the cheek and pull away, smiling softly. “come on, we’re almost at my apartment.” your hands trailed down to meet jaemin’s, interlocking your fingers with his and you both continued walking down the long street.

however, for the first time, it felt as though jaemin’s hand didn’t sit right with yours, like his hand didnt belong to fit in yours. you look down at the interlocking hands. you never felt this way before. why did it occur to you only now?

“something on your mind, eva?” you hear jaemin ask. you shot your gaze up from your jaemin’s hand to his eyes, shaking your head as you faked a smile.

weird

a week has passed since that weird encounter of yours. you couldn’t get it out of your head. every hour of the day you’ll spare a few minutes thinking about it. why did you feel so connected to it? you felt eager to know about what i meant. why did a few seconds of experiencing a distant memory would be etched into your mind as you constantly replay what you saw that time?

you found it funny how you were already so deep in your thoughts early in the morning. you lay in bed looking through your social medias for awhile before getting out of bed to head to the living room.

you see jaehyun sitting on the couch, immensely concentrated on whatever’s on the television screen. you take a seat beside jaehyun, looking down, you see him munching on a bowl of popcorn.

“popcorn for breakfast. really?” you raise an eyebrow as jaehyun nods his head and offers the bowl. you take it regardless of your comment and stuffed popcorn in your mouth.

“you didn’t shower yet?” jaehyun asks. you only shrug in reply. jaehyun looks at you with a disguested look.

“i bet you didn’t shower either, now did you?” jaehyun kept quiet as his eyes widened yet still glued onto the screem. you observed his reaction and scoff, rolling your eyes. “idiot.” jaehyun glances at you and chukles, reaching out to take a handful of popcorn.

“what are you even watching?”

“a movie that i didn’t finish last night.” that explains the popcorn then.

you focus your mind on the movie, despite not knowing what it’s about. everything seemed normal until you see a couple suddenly come on screen. they’re apparently at a amusement park.

almost instantly, you lost sight of your surroundings. oh no.. it’s happening again. you shut your eyes tightly as your vision became blurry once again. you opened your eyes widely to find yourself at an amusement park. a flashback is now occuring, this time it was different.

the flashback. it wasnt a memory you’re unfamiliar with. its jaemin. you see jaemin come into view. it looked like you were taken back to your third date where jaemin brought you to an amusement park. you see him running in front of you happily. jaemin was about to turn around, and you remembered that exactly after that he smiled at you. but he doesn’t. you realise that its not even jaemin.

the one you’re seeing now is the guy from your previous flashback. the polaroid guy. he smiled the exact same way he did when he took the picture of you in the flashback. the guy reaches out to take your hand and you’re being pulled towards him. why does it feel like you’ve seen him somewhere? or maybe you haven’t, but feel like you would some time in the future.

“eva? god, evaline! wake up please!” you hear jaehyun’s voice.

“did it happened agai-“

“it happened again.”

you look around. everything was back to normal. you look at jaehyun. but his eyes were fixated on your foot, he looks shocked. you slowly tilt your head down to look at the number on your right foot. it changed. the number.. reshuffled themselves?

“you’re seeing that too right..?”

you nod your head slowly. its getting more weird. the number on your foot said that you’ll meet your “soulmate” on february 12th, 2020 at 7:06pm. but now, it changed itself to become december 6th, 2020 at 2:19am.

basically it went from 12.02.2020 19:06 to 06.12.2020 02:19

“did i space out again?” you look up at jaehyun as he nod slowly, still looking at your foot in shock. you couldn’t blame him. what happen? did it somehow extended the time you’re about to meet your soulmate? why did it happen? what does it mean?

you told jaehyun what happen. and he almost fainted. you let out a long sigh.

“im telling you its a sign. probably the guy you’re seeing is your soulmate.” jaehyun says lazily and he muched on some strawberry pocky.

“then why was jaemin in the flashback too? isnt it weird?” jaehyun nods his head quickly. he puts down the pack of pocky on his lap and blinks a couple of times. you see the gears turning in his head as you assume that he’s trying to come up with an explanation.

“maybe jaemin’s tied to the guy? like maybe jaemin knows him. or the dude’s from your past life and somehow jaemin is representing the guy in your present life.” jaehyun looks down to see his pocky was stolen from you. you nod your head and you continuously stuffed each stick into your mouth and eating them. “urgh i dont fucking know what to do about this!” you groan in frustration. suddenly, something hits you.

“wait. what’s today’s date?”

jaehyun lifts his phone up to check. “30th november. why?” jaehyun asks. “oh wait.”

“you’re telling me i have a full week until i meet my so called soulmate that i dont even know where ill meet him?!”

you scoff in disbelief. jaehyun doesnt respond, only staring at your face like he’s seen a ghost.

“can i somehow break someone’s neck and slam it on the wall for like i dont know, 5 hours?!”

no reply from jaehyun once again.

“oh for fuck’s sake i cant do this! im heading to johnny’s tea shop for my depression tea. meet me there if you want, i’ll probably be there the whole day as my head constantly spins.”

you quickly got up from the couch and get ready. jaehyun sees you coming out of your room with a hoodie and plain wide legged jeans. you only grab your phone and keys and waved jaehyun goodbye before leaving the apartment. jaehyun sighs.

“i might have set her temper circuit short.” jaehyun whispers to himself and sighs, getting off the couch as well to head over to johnny’s tea shop. “literally could have drove her there but oh well.”

when you enter the shop, johnny face lit up with a huge smile. he runs over to hug you but his smile soon fades away and into a confused look when he sees how pissed you look.

“that’s very... interesting.” johnny comments. you sigh and nod, fiddling with the teaspoon in your drink. “yeah well its not going to be fun once jaemin knows.” johnny stops in his actions and looks up at you. your eyes glanced at johnny before tilting your head up from the drink that wrapped around your hands.

“yes i haven’t told jaemin. i didn’t think it meant anything at first but now...”

“you have to tell him! soon! its a sign!” johnny exclaims. you smacked your hand onto your forehead lightly. “i’ve heard that phrase countless of times by jaehyun and now you too? can you please explain?” you whine, scratching your head vigorously as you argrily take a sip of tea.

you were stressed, very stressed. life was going so well until this happened. you dont know who the mystery guy is. you dont know why he’s “memories” with you suddenly come back, especially when you’re in a really intimate relationship with jaemin. the same question keeps repeating in your head over and over each day and it gets more stressful when you try to think of an answer for them.

“no no listen. it happened to my relative. she was 3 months away from marrying her boyfriend who’s number doesnt match hers. and then she started getting weird flashbacks and she said that the number on her foot changed so that she wouldn’t miss a chance to meet her soulmate in the future instead of the past. and the so called memories? they’re memories that you’ll make with your soulmate once you meet them. the world is trying to make you realise that the guy in your flashbacks is your soulmate and not jaemin.”

you kept silent. so what jaehyun said was right. it was a sign to encourage you to find your real soulmate instead of settling for the one you arent meant to be with. you let out a sigh of relief as you finally know the background information to your whole situation.

“that’s a lot to take in.. how am i suppose to tell jaemin?” you frown as you look out the window. you love jaemin, very much. but to be honest, for the whole 2 years of your relationship with him, everything felt perfect, yet something was off. you never managed to pin point what, until now.

“oh i texted him just now when you were talking to me and he’s coming since he wants to see you.” great. you arent mentally prepared to tell jaemin yet and he’s going to arrive here in 15 minutes.

“evaline! johnny texted me saying you were here and i immediately rushed over.” jaemin comes up from behind and kisses your cheek. you purse your lips into a thin line and you look to johnny leaving his seat. he nods his head, in a way to give you confidence to tell jaemin about the whole ordeal.

“jaemin.. i have to tell you something.” when jaemin takes the seat where johnny sat, you reach your hand out to grab his, slowly soothing your thumb over his skin. “mhm yeah what?” you look up from his hand to his face.

“ive been getting um.. signs lately. flashbacks. jaehyun told me that the guy, who’s always the main subject of my flashbacks could be my soulmate. and i might be meeting him soon, on 6th december.” you whisper to him, biting your lip.

jaemin swallows his own saliva, blinking at you a few times as he tries to process what you said. he lets out a long sigh and painfully puts on a soft smile.

“i knew it was going to happen to one of us sooner. ive heard about the flashbacks. its bound to happen sooner or later.” you nod your head in response.

“im sorry, jaemin. i love you very much-“

“its fine. i understand. im glad the world made you realise that you’re soulmate is still wondering around somewhere, and that it isnt me. im happy i got to spend 2 years loving you.. it made me feel good.” you interlocked your fingers with his, smiling softly before letting go.

you could tell jaemin was hurt. like a knife was stabbed into his heart. you see it behind his smile, his eyes. you knew him all too well.

“we’ll still be friends. and i hope you��re soulmate will come to you.”

jaemin only nods. you lean in and give one last passionate kiss on the cheek before hearing the bell above the door ringing, and noticing that jaehyun has arrived.

december 3rd, 2020. you’re three days away to meeting your soulmate. where? you werent sure.

“good morning, evaline.” you hear jaehyun say. you just got out of bed and you were walking to the kitchen when you see what jaehyun was doing. he’s reading a book. your vision went blank.

its another flashback. you start to mentally prepare yourself as yoh want to absorb as much information as possible on your soulmate in the small portion of the memories.

“the book’s is interesting.” you’re hearing your soulmates voice. you try to figure out if you’ve heard it or not, but shake it out of your head when yoh remember your goal of gathering information. you registered the tone of his voice.

he’s sitting on a bed with round gold glasses on, in his pajamas.

your soulmate laughs. the same way he did the first time. he turns the book to you and it showed his phone betweem the pages of the book, resting there. “just joking!” you hear him say. you take a look at the wallpaper of your soulmate’s lockscreen. it was a picture of him kissing your cheek. it looked oddly the same as the picture you and jaemin once took together. however, there was a text above the picture. evaline heather and lee jeno

lee jeno. that’s the name of your soulmate.

december 5th, 2020. you’re starting to mentally prepare yourself. you dont know where you’re about to meet him. you tried coming up with all possibilities. to be frank, you were more excited about whether the places you thought of might be the place you meet your soulmate rather than being nervous.

the three flashbacks you had. it felt all too familiar. like you’ve known this lee jeno person forever. you feel the connection each time.

when the clock strikes 12am, your mind unknowingly decides to go to the park. the park where you and jaemin first met. you dont know why. it felt like your body was urging you to go there. you lazily got ready and headed out the door, of course you told jaehyun about your outing before leaving the apartment.

you had your hands shoved into your pockets with your hoodie on as you yawned. you breathed in the night air, admiring it dearly. when you reached the park, a quick glance at your phone told you that its 2am. you sigh and took a seat on the bench mindlessly after walking around the park.

you sat there for a few minutes, looking up into the sky and staring off into the distance. suddenly, you felt a presence next to you. you turn your head over to see a guy.

“you seemed pretty lonely so i brought ice cream-“

that voice.

“what’s your name?” you interrupt

the guy pauses and smiles. his face, his smile. its just like the one in your flashback.

“lee jeno. you?”

you didn’t reply. its him. he’s your soulmate, he’s here.

“why does it feel like ive known you for a very long time..?” you slowly started to ask as your eyes looked at him up and down.

jeno chuckles. “maybe..” you see jeno taking off his slipper on his right foot and lifting up his foot. you see the exact number that’s engraved on your foot.

“im your soulmate.”

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bloopbyoop · 3 years

Text

weep woop

ayo. ive read my scheduled email and its time for freewriting shit again. lmao. I want this post to be like a small light from a lit match stick inside a very hollow, icy, and numbing cave. (sounds cartoonish right? I know. Im obsessed with Adventure Time.) I want all people to be genuinely happy. Spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Upon reaching my 24th anniversary in this world, I finally learned how to truly embrace all my emotions. Some are more overwhelming than the other, but we have to heed in our treacherous yet perplexing minds that everything is fleeting and we are in control. The feeling of extreme sadness fades, but so does joyful states. Everything can change in a matter of minutes or years. You are in control of all your emotions. You are in control of all your life choices. Your actions. Your words. Your perspective. It feels weird to actually write about it. I've wanted to talk about it. I never wanted help from anyone as I firmly believed that I was alone. Sure, I have a family and friends, but it is hard to see that when your head is clouded with negativity. I've even come to the point where I was too overwhelmed, I found being physically hurt less painful. The pain I felt distracted me from what I was thinking. My mind tended to go bonkers. lmao. But bro, I was so good at concealing my bonkers mind. It's easy to fake any emotion that you have. Slap anything sunshine-y or happy to anything and people would believe you. It went on for years. Long story short, thousands of bracelets collected, it became worse. The physical pain could no longer withhold the emotional pain. Couldn't sleep. Couldn't stop thinking. And voila! I found a good amount of self help books (from tumblr) and novels. Novels that brought me to different places. Self-help books that made me understand what I feel and what to do. I've read that taking the easy way out will leave everyone sad. AND IN THE FIRST PLACEEEEEE, I NEVER WANT THATTTTTTT. I want everyone to be happy. I would act foolish and do dumb shit to make everyone happy in a heartbeat. So, that idea made me push a few more years. Later on, the crippling shit came crawling back again to my head, sooooooo I needed new shit to keep me distracted again. Films, series, music, and short clips from YouTube helped me out a lot. Every single time that my mind is going to think like anything that can think of, even to the point that I was just going to think that I might be hungry, I'd watch something. There's just something about silence for me. Because of this new habit of mine, I've learned more about myself. I love different types of things. I like horror. I like thriller. I like comedy. I like romance. I love all types of films, but there is something about the horror genre that interests me. I still can't point out what, but I love watching horror films. With regards to music, I've learned that I love Indie, Punk Rock, Rap, and Pop. We all can't like a specific genre. It's stupid to ask "what genre of music do you like?". It's not actually stupid-stupid, it's just stupid. Ya know? Anyway, passing this phase, I needed to find something again because it's not doing the shit that it was supposed to, I tried investing more time on video games. By investing more, I mean a whole shit lot. I love video games since I was young cuz.... u know.... they keep u... try to guess it! oh yeah. you got that right! distracted! I love the aggressive plays and trashtalks that my friends and I make. The short stories we tell one another. The rants. The lame jokes. The late night we sound drunk but we are not drunk jokes. The roleplays. The lame jokes. The memes. And once again, The lame jokes. Something about lame jokes and the laughs and curses after that always gets me every single time. Oh shoot. Yup Yup. Few years later, I finally noticed the pattern that my sadness is temporary. I got over it one way or the other (or another. depends on how you wanna read it. i dont wanna say another cause i might write about one direction like what im doing now so-). Happiness is temporary as well. But, we are the ones who are actually in control of our emotions. If you wanna feel sad, be sad for a while. You're getting too sad? Try hanging out with your funny friends. Can't do that? Find an alternative. Watch a movie, knit a sweater. Anything your mind could think of as long as it will keep you mentally distracted from being physically and mentally hurt. I do have a few notes though. We cannot and should never assume what people are going through. It may be petty for you, but it may be very crucial to them. So never everrrr say things like: -Some people have it worse than you -At least you have ..... These sheetsss are annoying as heckkk and could really down someone. I know it is not your intention to annoy but people react differently. alsooooooo, it is not okay or normal to hate on things for bandwagon. that is just plainly crazy and stupid. let people enjoy things. anddddddd never suppress your emotions. admit what you feel inside and try to think of a way to resolve ittttt. keeping it to yourself will just make it worseeeeee. find your own outlettttttttt. hihihi ️ alsooooo. being more spiritually full with God's words and ideas really help me to be spiritually happy. ps. im christian but i dont discredit other religion and even applaud other religion's ideas and beliefs. this is a really long, selfish post so i might as well recommend some things I like : Songs with their lyrics that made me go through life. “I’ve got soul but I’m not a soldier” -All These Things That I've Done, The Killers “It's not too late, I'm still right here” -Breaking Your Own Heart, Kelly Clarkson "And the salt in my wounds / Isn't burning any more than it used to / It's not that I don't feel the pain / It's just I'm not afraid of hurting anymore / And the blood in these veins / Isn't pumping any less than it ever has / And that's the hope I have / The only thing I know that's keeping me alive" -Last Hope, Paramore “There is not a single word in the whole world / That could describe the hurt / The dullest knife just sawing back and forth / And ripping through the softest skin there ever was / How were you to know?” -Hate to See Your Heartbreak, Paramore "It's holding on, though the road's long / And seeing light in the darkest things And when you stare at your reflection / Finally knowing who it is / I know that you'll thank God you did" -1800, Logic "Did some things you can't speak of / But at night you live it all again / You wouldn't be shattered on the floor now / If only you had seen what you know now then" -Innocent, Taylor Swift (My bb) "10 months sober, I must admit / Just because you're clean don't mean you don't miss it / 10 months older, I won't give in / Now that I'm clean I'm never gonna risk it // Rain came pouring down when I was drowning / That's when I could finally breathe / And by morning gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean" -Clean, Taylor Swift “I guess I always knew / That I had all the strength to make it through.” -Believe in Me, Demi Lovato "I'm addicted to the madness / I'm a daughter of the sadness / I've been here too many times before / Been abandoned and I'm scared now / I can't handle another fallout / I am fragile, just washed upon the shore / They forget me, don't see me / When they love me, they leave me" -I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me, Demi Lovato “I'm overwhelmed / I need a voice to echo / I need a light to take me home / I need a star to follow / I don't know” -Nightingale, Demi Lovato "I'm a walking travesty / But I'm smiling at everything. // Arrogant boy, Love yourself so no one has to." -Therapy, All Time Low "I tried it once before but I didn't get too far / I felt a lot of pain but it didn't stop my heart. / But maybe I'm alive 'cause I didn't really wanna die / But nothing very special ever happens in my life / Take the blade away from me I am a freak, I am afraid that / All the blood escaping me won't end the pain / And I'll be haunting all the lives that cared for me / I died to be the white ghost / Of the man that I was meant to be" -Ghost, Badflower "Are the pieces of you / In the pieces of me? / I'm just so scared / You're who I'll be / When I erupt / Just like you do / They look at me / Like I look at you" -DNA, Lia Marie Johnson Movies and series to try : -The Perks of Being a Wallflower (The book is bomb af. if yall havent tried, ur missing out) -The Kings of Summer -Never Let Me Go -The Art of Getting By -Silver Linings Playbook -Winter’s Bone -The Lovely Bones (The script. The words) -Me and Earl and the Dying Girl -American Horror Story -Black Swan

pps. remember that every one has their own pace and point of view. don’t push yourself too hard, and don’t overthink. give yourself time, and respect all your emotions. analyze them but not more than like 5 minutes as anything beyond that might cause you to overthink and be sadder. and sad is not rad. hehe. you got this. you got you. self love is the best even though it can be tricky to do. nobody else is like you. you’re the only one of you (i just remembered me.......... i might have hummed it while typing it mid sentence). consider other people’s opinion but do not let it cloud your own judgement as you know yourself best. dont let other comment’s define you. spread love. vibe people you vibe with. ayeeee lets go!!!

ppps this is my last post bc im happier now and know myself better. i no longer limit myself on the age that I want. I want to live as long as how God wants me to be. hehe.

x :D

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apotatomashedbybts · 6 years

Text

I'll Be Your Knight

[Genre: fluff, slight angst

Pairing: Jimin×reader , Taegi

Soulmate!Taehyung, best friend!Yoongi

Word Count: 2.3k+]

[Summary: When Y/n met Jimin she knew that it was a love at first sight. But she didn't expect the consequences that came with loving him. After their unwilling separation will Y/n be able to do what it takes to get him back?

A story of love, loss, fight, dreams, and friendship...]

Chapter IV: The New Friend Circle

"Let's go! He rescued us!" I smiled at him and lead the way, hoping my walk didn't seem weird.

"Sir, may I come in?" Jimin asked knocking on the door.

"Oh! Yes yes! You too Ms. Y/l/n." Mr. Moon said putting his phone down.

"I can see why you two are late. I do have a reputation for walking fast, a bad reputation I would rather say." He said laughing heartily. "Please sit down."

"Thank you sir." we both said at the same time.

"You two are new in the campus and I can already say that you are smarter than most of the students. I am really happy to teach students like you." Mr. Moon took his seat.

"I should come straight to the point. The last question in today's test was really difficult I guess but y/n, I hope you won't mind me calling you by your first name," he looked at me through his glasses, I nodded an unclear 'no' and he continued," I must say I'm impressed that you attempted to crack the codes and succeeded halfway! Don't think much about that question. That's not included in your syllabus. In fact that needs a much higher education and intelligence. I am of course not doubting your intelligence but education and knowledge IS an important factor. Other students except you didn't even try it. You'll eventually learn it later. Don't think about it too much. And I'd really appreciate it if you keep this conversation within these walls. Now, if you'll excuse us." saying all these things he smiled at me.

There was something in that look that made me gulp. I nodded and rose from my seat to leave.

While turning away my eyes met Jimin's for a fraction of second and there was something in those that told me that he didn't want me to leave. I looked back at Mr. Moon and what I got was only a stern look. I had no other choice but to leave.

I decided to wait outside the door. I wanted to know so badly what they were talking about but I can't do anything but wait. I leaned my back on the wall, looked at my feet and waited.

"It's been ten minutes! Should I text Tae to leave without me? He must be hungry." I thought tapping my feet. Just then my stomach made a grumbling sound, "Who am I kidding? I am hungry too!"

I was just going to message Tae when the door opened and Jimin walked out, worry plastered on his face.

"Should I ask him what happened inside? Mr. Moon must have forbidden him to open his mouth too. Otherwise why would he tell me to leave?" I wondered.

His worried expression got me worried.

"Are you okay? You don't look good! I-I mean you are handsome of course, like really! Don't get me wrong. But you seem like you are worried about something." I stuttered disquietingly if that's even possible.

My words made him laugh. "Yeah I am okay." He tried to assure me and then rubbed his philtrum.

"I am just not used to this kind of situation, that's all." he said smiling.

It felt like he was trying to hide it so I didn't push him further, after all I was not in that position yet.

"You must be hungry. Wanna grab some food with us? Tae is waiting for me outside. And it's not that bad to make new friends once in awhile! Don't you think?" I tried to lighten the atmosphere.

"You have a pretty smile!" Jimin said all of a sudden.

"T-Thanks. Your smile is pretty too!" I said, trying to hide my blush.

Oh! How much I wanted to say that he had the prettiest smile that I had ever seen! How much I wanted to tell him that his smile makes my heart soft and race at the same time!

I knew that the whole time walking by his side made my blush meter score high but I didn't know how to control it. I walked slowly purposely so that I could get more time to spend with him.

"Do you usually walk so slow?" He asked me. Busted!

"N-no, not at all! Hunger makes me slow, he he!" I said and wondered, "Did my laugh sound creepy? I hope he doesn't think me a weirdo!"

"Oh! Is that so? Here eat this!" He took out a chocolate bar after rummaging through his bag for awhile.

After taking it I looked at it for some moment contemplating whether I should eat it or not. "Am I so in love that I want to keep it untouched and treasured?" I wondered.

"What are you thinking? Don't you like chocolates?" He asked with an upset frown on his face.

"Ah! No no! I love chocolates! It's nothing! Don't worry about it!" I tried to convince him.

"You will definitely like it! It's my favourite!"

"Really? Then it'll be my favourite too!" I said opening the wrapper with utmost care.

"Let's share it! I am not the only one hungry here!" I said offering him the half of the chocolate. He took it gladly and that made me happy. I kept the wrapper in my pocket secretly.

*Beep*

"Oh! Shit! It's already so late! Let's go quickly!" saying this I increased my pace.

Reaching the gate I looked around for Tae. I saw him at the sidewalk glaring at me. Beside him was this really handsome boy who waved at me enthusiastically as if he had known me for a really long time.

I waved at him awkwardly and crossed the road with Jimin following shortly after me.

"I am really sorry that I am so late! Please forgive me! I am y/n. You must be Hobi!"

"Yay! You know meee!" Hobi said excitedly and pulled me into a bear hug.

I understood why had Tae always called him a "sunshine". I pulled out from his hug and smiled, "Tae talks about you a lot!"

"Oh! Really?" He looked at Tae, clearly surprised.

"No not really! She talks nonsense all the time." Tae slapped my arm and glared once again.

I ignored that and pointed to Jimin, "This is Park Jimin, my new friend!" then pointing to Tae I said, "and this is Kim Taehyung, unfortunately my best friend!"

"No, it'll actually be 'my unfortunate best friend'!" Tae remarked.

Hearing this both Jimin and Hobi burst out laughing. I looked at Jimin and felt this sudden pang in my heart. How could a human be so angelic?

To bring me back to reality Tae pinched me real hard. I screamed "ow" and glared at him. Then I realized why he did it. "I should practice blocking! I am such an idiot!" I thought.

"Let's celebrate today for the formation of our new group and also for you two's first day at SNU! I hope you don't have any problems Jimin." Tae said looking at Jimin and then smiling he said, "Let's invite Yoongi hyung too!"

We all gathered at aunt's restaurant and toasted to our new group, "Cheers to us!"

We talked a lot. We got to know about each other, well basically it was Jimin knowing about us and we all knowing about Jimin.

I already knew about Hobi. During our frequent video calls Tae used to mention him often. So I knew about him though I saw him first today.

Though Hobi was majoring in dance, he and Tae got to know each other because they had Geography lecture together. Due to both of their friendly nature, they became close friends and thus we got acquainted with each other.

I was quite enthralled by what Jimin said about himself. Due to his dad's job he had to move a lot since childhood. The castle was their ancestral property. They never got to stay or come here because of this job thing. But recently after his mom's death in an accident, his dad decided to come back to Korea. He told us that his dad had told him not to make close friends because eventually they have to move out. And too much closeness is emotionally hazardous. He had gone through so much and that made me really sad. But after that Jimin said something that changed my mood. He said, "But you guys are different. You make me want to stay together and make memories. And also my dad said he is going to quit the current job and find a new one so that we can settle here. He misses his home. He spent his entire childhood in the castle after all." I felt relief wash over me after hearing this.

"So you are the unofficial prince!" Yoongs said.

"Ha ha! Yeah! You can say so!" Jimin replied shyly.

While chatting we didn't even realise when it got so late. Hobi was almost on the verge of passing out due to drinking. He didn't even for once mention that he was a light head. Tae and I didn't like drinking that much so we were fine. Jimin and Yoongs were quite a drinker but they were somewhat sober.

Except Hobi, we all lived in the same area so we decided to drop him home first. Tae offered to drive, his saying went like this, "I don't trust drunk guys! They are injurious to health!"

So we dropped off Hobi, then Jimin and lastly Yoongs. As it was Yoongs' car, we decided to walk home.

We were walking quietly because our neighborhood, the very peaceful one, usually fell asleep at around midnight.

"Told you he is a nice guy!" Tae started the conversation.

"And how did you know that even without speaking to him once?" I snickered.

"It's a special hidden talent. Dumb people like you won't understand!" He made a wise face and then laughed out loud.

"Oh! Is that so?" I smirked. "You are so gonna regret it."

Getting what I was about to do Tae started running and I ran behind to catch him.

"You can never catch me!!!" Tae shouted. "Loooser!"

"Wait till I get you!" I shouted back.

I almost got him when a grandpa from the balcony of a house shouted annoyingly, "Ah! Nowadays the kids are so noisy. You can't even sleep peacefully. It's already 1 am! Ah! Kids these days have no consideration at all for us!"

We stopped on our tracks, bowed and apologized sincerely. After the grandpa went inside muttering to himself, I smacked Tae and said, "This is all your fault!"

"Yeah! Sorry sorry! Please don't beat me! I don't want to die!" Tae said making a crying face.

"Then compensate for your mistake. Give me a piggyback ride to my house! Only then I will consider forgiving you!" I said pretending to think.

"Say no more my queen! Get on your royal carriage!" Tae bent down so that I could hop on.

After getting on his back I said teasingly, "I hope the carriage won't break down halfway!"

"This is the strongest carriage that you'll ever get."

"I know." And I leaned closer, "Thanks Tae."

After walking for about five minutes like that we reached my house. Before leaving Tae said, "Listen to Taylor Swift's Enchanted. That'll be the perfect song for you today, well tonight! Bye!" And like that he took off! He didn't have to go far alone. His house was just after two houses, so it was fine.

I sneaked into my house and tiptoed to my bedroom. I changed into my pajamas and got under my blanket, plugging in the earphones. Enchanted by Taylor Swift he said.

After listening to the song I understood why he recommended this song. It matched with my feelings so much and before I even realised tears brimmed at the corner of my eyes.

I rubbed my eyes and thought, "I should sleep early. I have to get up really early tomorrow. And beat the crap out of that boy!" And I fell asleep with a faint smile on my face.

"Hey dumbhead! Are you ready yet or not? Lecture is not going to wait for you!" Tae shouted from the road towards my window.

"You have a phone, right? Why do you have to shout?" I shouted back.

As soon as I came out of my house Tae hooked his hands with mine and started walking to the opposite direction towards the park.

"Yah! Where are you going? Weren't you late for your lecture?" I confusingly asked Tae.

"My lecture starts at 10:30 am and now it's only 9:00 am." Tae giggled innocently.

"Then why did you ask me to get ready so quickly? My lecture is at 11:00 am!" I said pouting and slapped Tae's shoulder.

"Ouch! Stop stop! Let me finish first!"

"You better have a good reason!" I huffed and glared at him hard.

"Well, Jimin is joining us to college. So we are going to pick him up. He may already be on his way here. So, we are meeting him in a few minutes. We can go together, eat together after reaching and I don't know.." Tae shrugged.

My expression softened while he talked. Noticing the change in my expression he said, "If you don't want to then I can tell Jimin. No problem at all." And sighed dramatically looking at the trees.

I pulled his bag and began walking, "That'd be bad you know! He must be waiting for us!"

Tae smiled knowingly and said, "Yes, you are right!"

Other chapters

A/n: Here goes the fourth chapter! I hope you like it too. Thank you so much for reading! 💜💜💜

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tokyoghoose · 4 years

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unfinished ✨experimental✨ atsumu smut 🙈

i started this and honestly it just became way too poetic and i know ive talked about it on here before so i figured i might as well post it if its not gonna go anywhere. It probably wouldve been like 3k thougu lowkey but i got so awkward about it. Sex scenes are so much harder to write than i thought. But anyways its not that good but i gotta delete the google doc so 😐 and im super bored @choyaa 🙄

The phone is heavy in your shaky hands, the mocking blink of the cursor taunting you over and over again. The contact name in itself is like a warning sign, but you need nothing more to ghost over the blue keypad with your thumb.

Your heart is pounding inside your chest, sure to leap out of your throat if you were to open your drying lips. It almost makes you sick how nervous you suddenly are to look at that name; to see the previous message. You blame it on the alcohol. It’s the alcohol that’s telling you to call him. It’s the alcohol that makes you angry everytime you walk into your apartment and see some random guy of the week there. It’s the alcohol that has your heart and mind running a thousand miles per minute in its very own marathon. And yet, you aren’t sure which one is going to win because right now it looks like it’ll end in a tie and you don’t know if you can handle that. It takes everything in you not to take another drink;another swig for your sobering mind.

It’s wrong. It’s wrong to be thinking about a man who isn’t here but during the nights, in the sheets when they get too cold to bear. It’s wrong to want a man who can't give his all when you did. It’s like the sun never shined and the moon only came when he asked it to because the world would bend at his knee. But isn’t this the same? You can’t love the men in your apartment because you can’t demand the sun and can’t command the moon. Aren’t you just as bad as the name on your phone?

Is it wrong to love someone who can’t love wholeheartedly?

Your head pounds and begs you for some more home made remedy, the medication that seems to only make your ailments worse than to aid them. You lean your forehead against the cold leather of your steering wheel, the dark casting over you as the streetlamp fizzles out into nothing but a dim reminder to you and a moth that flutters by. But the moth moves on, and you stay clutching the sides of the wheel until your knuckles turn white and your nails pierce indents into the material. You make yourself sick, but what else can you do when you need a fix? You shouldn’t call, you shouldn’t text and you shouldn’t even think about him. It’s wrong when it was right.

Maybe the two of you were just two clocks set at different times. It’s what you hope when your look over at the phone and see that teasing cursor. It already knows what you’re going to do, and so do you.

You up?

Location Attatched: Paradise Hotel

You lean back in your seat and chew on your cheek until it’s sore and you can taste copper. It surprisingly familiar now and days with how often you nip around. You can’t help but to cringe at the words highlighted, said so many times and the letters so bright they practically pop out at your hazy mind. It’s been said too many times.

And you’re starting to run out of hotels.

Part of you wishes he won’t reply. That he’s sensible and understanding and know that you’re drunk and knows that this is wrong because you’re almost positive he’s also moved on or that he’s too busy with his career. Maybe he’s already asleep, but you doubt it when you glance at the time. His brother was always the more reasonable one.

Your hope diminishes with a single text and the image of whiskey and vodka attached.

Give me an hour.

With that you start the car in hopes of warming up. It’d be a shame if he had to do that too.

The hotel room is nice. They almost always are except for the dingy ones on the outskirts of town when time is just a little too limited. It smells like lemon and freshly chopped wood, like a pine forest almost. It would smell like home if it wasn’t for the fact you knew it wasn’t because home smells like honey and sandalwood that’s been sawed and then rained on, weathered down by the masses and dried out by the sun.

You sit on the edge of the bed, fiddling with the lavish silk sheets and the white and gold comforter that has been folded over. You almost feel the need to laugh at the rose petals in the heart design, especially when you checked in alone because you know (and you’re sure they now know) this is anything but romantic. It could’ve been- once. But it’s nothing more than a high after you’ve reached your lowest low, and for him it’s nothing more than a way to get his dick wet before he goes off to a tournament.

Rubbing your face in your hands, you grip the roots of your hair, now far too sober, yet not sober enough. You hope he brought the drinks.

The room is silent and unnerving by now, so you make your way to the door to let him in. He’s been waiting.

He always does.

The loneliness overtakes you, followed by his overwhelming presence when you open the door. He’s out further down the hall, but it’s like he’s been around for months, lingering before coming at you full force like a storm and a hurricane. Everything reminds you of him. Everything always will.

Two clocks ticking at different times, but meeting halfway. One behind another, just slightly off.

How he looks makes you want to cry because he doesn’t seem like he loses a wink of sleep over his decisions. No demons haunt him, no bags weigh him down. He’s content outside the door, and he’ll be content inside. So, you let him into the hotel room, and once again into your heart. What else can you do?

You’d always give.

It’s not long before taunting and crude words about needing him and being oh so desperate turning into searing how kisses that burn you up inside out. The leave a fire in their wake crawling down your neck, making you whine out. They burn against the contrast of the cool sheets and the chilly breeze that hits your chest when he rips open the shirt covering you up uselessly. His hands are wandering your body like a sailor making a map, trying to find the gold, before they come to grope your breast between the lacy fabric of your brow. Practically moaning, he makes his way down to the valley of your breasts, sucking and biting his marks until he reaches the 'x'.

"Look at you, so pretty and dolled up. Just for me?" It's rhetorical but you whimper out a pathetic 'yes' in response to keep him moving. His hooded eyes have you pinned beneath him without the help of his strong arms…

Is it wrong to want him to hold you in a moment like this?

He moves his hands underneath the cup of your bra, fingers working diligently to massage the plush flesh until it comes in sight. He looks like a kid in the candy store when they fall all the way out of their captives, immediately taking one peaked nipple between his lips and swirling his tongue around it.

"Atsumu…" You cry out, sensitive and begging for him to do something more in a breathy, pitiful tone while reaching out to grip the honey color of his hair. You seem him smile smugly, his teeth purposefully grazing over the reactive bud.

You see the way he looks at you, the way he wants to hear it all. Atsumu craves it like an insatiable beast craves the hunt. A lion and a gazelle that tango in the Sahara. He wants to hear every whimper, every call and every cry. He wants to tear it out of you until it's the only thing that plays in his head like a broken record. Commit it to memory until the next time your worlds collide.

Out of sync except for in the dark hours of the night when he's gripping onto any flesh he can find. You can feel the skimming of his nails on the skin of your thigh while he works his way down to your navel. You struggle against his hold, lifting and wiggling from his hold. A boat on a stormy sea.

Atsumu's teeth graze the top of your panties, nipping at the skin before latching onto the lace and pulling them down. He almost groans at the sight alone of your dripping cunt, his face going to kiss and bite at the inside of your thighs. Kissing his name into your skin, you whimper when you see him come up to breathe a hot steam onto your cunt. He noses your folds, diving in like a starved man eating his last meal. Insatiable.

He laps at your weeping hole, hands gripping apart your thighs that tremor under his work. Atsumu lifts his mouth just enough before coming to graze over your button. His tongue swirls around your clit and plays you like a musician, skilled in the way he sucks and tugs to pull at each and every string in your orchestra. All knowing in the way his finger begins to plunge into you, only growing more eager when you gasp for air.

He adds a second finger, sinking it to the knuckles and working his way into your core and flexing his fingers up to cup your heat.

#unfinished works #or smth #ig #im just bored 😩

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muffin--stuffin · 5 years

Text

Traveling

I'm sorry if this doesnt make a whole lot of sense but i'm just going to brain dump.

You know, all my life i felt like i was watching time pass, always waiting for something better. It was always: next month ill do this, next year ill do that, when i graduate ill be able to do this ... and so on. I kept realizing that i kept waiting for things to get better rather than taking those strides myself, i always felt i was subjected to a clock or a calendar or an agenda that someone else made for me. These past few years, and it certainly wasn’t instant, i’ve been making huge steps to take control of my life. I've been going out with me, taking myself to restaurants, movies, events, initiating making plans with friends. And through all that i really learned more about myself, who am i, what i like, and how i want to be treated. And when i learned more about myself i stopped letting myself be treated in shitty ways.

Only when I cut off people who were treating me poorly did i learn that what they were doing wasn't love like they said, but their own faults and shortcomings that they need to deal with. I became so much happier when i took control of how i was being treated. And honestly the more control i take of my life, the more happier i get. People who didn’t deserve my love, kindness, or patience lost out and i put that energy into people who love me well in return.

One of the biggest steps i’ve been taking is travelling more. Meeting and learning about new people who grew up differently from you really helps you grow as a person. And all around the world you’ll meet good and bad people.

I’ve traveled twice now by myself, and both times at the end i’ve felt sad. However, as i sit here on a plane reflecting on both trips i can honestly say that they were two very different kinds of sadness.

Without going into too much detail both trips were incredible in the sense of gaining new experiences and having fun, you know i love travelling. But the first trip ended with a sadness of realization that i wasnt happy with how my life was, the people i was with, the relationships we had were hollowness being held together on by a thread, it didnt have a sturdy base, i was homesick, tired, and most unfortunately, i felt lonely around people who said they loved me, and that was a big realization for me. I changed a lot of my life up again.

The bad experiences i had i don't regret tho, i learned a lot from it. And im learning during my good experiences too, so next:

Vegas.

Man lets talk about vegas, what a way to spend a weekend. B was there and the opprtunity presented itself to go, so i bought a ticket thursday and flew out after working overnight into friday. Man was i so sleep deprived that day lmao. I think i woke up at 2 pm after working wed night, bought a ticket, packed my bags, and went to work thursday. Went home friday morning and dealt with delays, couldnt sleep on the plane and arrived in vegas at like 9pm (12 am east) punk ass time difference >:(. But after getting off that plane a second wind got me, we went out late at night, went to a club, made connections with fun people, went to bed at like 4 am. That night club was jewel, we got in for free and finagled some drinks. Never, ever drink AMF, regardless of what some girl is tryna tell u when ur already sloppy drunk, its worst than long island. Ive never been so drunk before hahah so honestly i dont really remember that night. But i think we had the best pizza ever at a place called eataly.

Saturday!! First full day in Vegas, and boy did i luck out, not on slots tho (i lost so much money gambling) and its probably because i used all my luck finding PG. Not til later tho. Saturday i walked all around sober, found some amazing sushi for the lads and just felt free. It was incredible, the views, the freedom, the exploration. That’s one of my favorite parts of travelling, feeling so free and small in such a big world. Later was the meet up, and i was nervous, of course, but like i felt so comfortable immediately. That night was a lot of fun, i think like 6 of us went out but... as i sit here writing this, i kinda realized that i don’t want to write everything out to the public. The memories we all made together are special to us and not for the world to know. They are memories that i'm going to cherish and they belong to us. In both a group setting and especially one on one time i spent with my friends, i was so, so happy. & you know what happens in vegas ..stays in vegas 😆

But one of the main points to this was to talk about my emotions about leaving vegas, so i will touch on that. So as quick as it came, as quick as it left unfortunately..

Leaving vegas - i’m sad but for a happier reason, i dont want to leave quite yet, this feelings getting cut short. Like friday and saturday i was having the time of my life, sunday was amazing, but then i kinda got hit with a wave. I caught myself not being me and it was because im going to miss the people i met, the times we had, and the friends we made. But it was hard, i really had to catch myself being lame for a while, and i felt like i was wasting the lil time we had. How sad is that? And then i felt guilty for being a little different and bummed out.

But you know what, I think there's something tragically beautiful about being sad at the end of a vacation. It means you were having an amazing time and you don't want the memories to end, but it also means you're afraid of the future. I don't want to be scared that life will get worse or im bound to be just some fuck up.

And idk maybe we used eachother as a weekend escape from our lives, but holy shit PG i wish you knew your worth because you're incredible, and i regret not making it clear. I feel like you were a little anxious about showing us the best around vegas but cmon.. i loved your company when we werent doing anything. But why was i sad and fearful? Maybe i'm afraid that all we had was that short time limit, but if all we were was an expiration date, why did it feel you've belonged in a space near me as if you had it our whole lives? Maybe it was fate but I'll also choose not to believe that you were only worth a time limit. I am so tired of this looming shadow that someone else has created over me that people are temporary in my life until i screw things up. I hate how engrained these two have put it into my head that i dont deserve this. I dont want to believe that people who are making me happy in the present arent going to last. You know i'll take control of this part of my life. Yeah im sad im leaving but ive been creating this life for me where im so fortunate to have friends that are just the best. I shouldnt be afraid or sad that something like this wont happen again, because it will. Honestly, maybe i dont deserve them but i know one thing, is that i want to make them happy.

And B man you've had a tough month and you're staying really strong. I hope im doing something okay that helps you through these shitty times you're going through. You're an amazing friend and i wish you would find a happiness in yourself and your friends. I notice you've been trying to stay strong but i hope you're not letting it eat you away, im really happy you've been confiding ur feelings to me because i know it's tough. Stay strong bruther. It just breaks my heart seeing when you’re sad

#rambles

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deansoutros · 7 years

Text

Black [M]

A/N: hey all, this is my first fic on tumblr. i went with dean and i have a lot of plans for this fic so please so support it ;( i’m sorry if my writing sucks im terrible i know but ive just had this idea in my head for a while so i wanted to put it somewhere. i’m most likely gonna continue it even if ppl dont read it bc i kinda wanna finish it lol. but yeah if you like it pls tell me :) any comments are very much welcomed! btw it starts off boring but i wanted a nice& clear background. i promise it will get better!

characters: dean x oc, zico, crush, rome

genre: angst(ish?), university au

rated: m, alcoholism, stoners(lol), violence, abuse.

chapter one:

“nayeon!” I dropped the box full of school supplies as I ran to my roommate whom I hadn’t seen all summer. she replied with equal excitement as we hugged each other. we had just moved into a new place for the year and we were both anxious to set up our cute little house. our other two roommates had already arrived and I was the last one, what’s new.

“I missed you!” she cheerfully exclaimed.

“I missed you too!” I replied as I reached down, picking up the box I had dropped.

“come in we have to talk about tonight’s plans!”

she helped me finish carrying the rest of my stuff upstairs, and after sochi had helped me put my room together my phone dinged. I flopped onto my bed and grabbed it. I hadn’t noticed how much the 8 hour drive had exhausted me.

Apt D group chat-

Nayeon: be ready by 10! we all were invited to a sig nu party tonight at 10! we should leave around 10 or 10:30 just to make sure we get there when there’s already people there! school hasn’t started so welcome weekend is about to be crazy!

Sochi: it’s almost 9!! I’m going to get ready rn

Chaeyeon: omg ;( i really want to go but I am so tired from the drive

Nayeon: come out! It’ll be fun

Chaeyeon: tomorrow! tonight I’m just gonna stay in and sleep

Jisu: i just woke up from a nap so i’m down! rest a lot chae!

Chaeyeon: I will, have fun and be safe guys ❤

Sochi: we will bb ❤

and with that I got comfortable in bed, I was so exhausted that I didn’t care that I was still in my jeans and a long t shirt. I heard the girls getting ready to leave before I dozed off completely.

a mixture of screams and melodies woke me up. I was still as tired as ever. I picked up my phone and took a look. it was only 12am. the walls gently vibrated and with every second that passed I became more irritated. the loud music seemed to be coming from the other side of our apartment but when I got up, not surprised, no one was home. I walked into sochi’s room and peaked out her window. a dozen or so people were on our lawn.

“what the hell” I whispered to myself as I saw cans being dropped left and right. my anger grew more and more as i looked around the lawn. a bottle here a can there and…was that puke?

my mouth dropped slightly at the sight and I stormed down the stairs. I swung open the front door, startling a few people in the process. my little legs couldn’t go fast enough to keep up with my anger. within seconds I was in a familiar yet different place. this apartment was a mirror image of ours. everything was the same but on different sides. I looked around before I was grabbed and pulled back.

“what the fu-“

“private party, who do you know?”

I looked up to see a tall, dark haired guy. his eyebrows were thick and his lips were plump but all I could focus on was how much I wanted to hit him.

“I live across in apt d, is this your place?!”

“look, I don’t care where you live, who do you know?”

“what the fuck I don’t want to get into your stupid party!”

“you sure about that?”

“yes I’m fucking sure can you just turn your damn music down? people might be doing something crazy in the middle of the night, like sleeping!” he was amused by my response. his lips curled into a smug smile and he extended his hand.

“I’m zico” he said. I looked at the hand before me then back at him.

“can you just please turn it down and get your people away from our lawn?!”

“woah woah what’s going on? all the yelling above this good ass music? I don’t think so…. who’s this?” another tall guy holding a red cup came closer and he gestured at me as he looked towards zico. he, like zico, had dark hair but he also had a tattoo splattered across the side of his neck that reached down into his shirt. his scent was strong and hit me instantly. he smelled sweet, masked in the familiar scent weed mixed with alcohol. if it wasn’t for the smell of…well college, he would have smelled like heaven.

“she’s our new neighbor and she’s cute but she’s here to complain not to party with me” zico responded, scoffing as he took the red cup from his friend, chugging the last bit of liquid before walking off. I ignored him and looked at the guy before me.

“is this your place? turn it down it’s loud as fuck.” my eyes rolled slightly and my voice had given off an irritated tone. I pushed my way through the crowd and back out the front door and for the second time that night, my arm was grabbed and I was yanked back.

“what the hel-“ it was the guy I had just yelled at.

“what’s your name?” he blurted out and the smell of alcohol filled the air between us. I looked up at him, his hair layed in a simple curl above his left eyebrow and his eyes were glistening and red.

“chayeon” I replied as I lightly tugged my arm away from him. he quickly let go.

“sorry, about that…and the noise. we aren’t usually that loud but it’s our roommate, hyoseob’s birthday.” he was drunk and high, I could tell, but he kept himself so collected. if it wasn’t for his scent or his eyes I would assume he was sober. his cheeks were rosy and flushed like a child’s.

“take a picture, it’ll last longer” he blurted out. fuck, I didn’t even notice that I had been staring at him.

“can you just turn it down a bit please?” I replied, attempting to contain myself from showing embarrassment.

“maybe I should take a picture of you instead? it’d be nice to look at your face everyday” he disregarded my words but damn, that was unexpected and it was difficult to retain my cheeks from flushing.

“yeah sure, anyways, I’m tired so by-“

“hey tired, I’m dean” he extended his hand, his lips curled into the cheesiest smile and a small chuckle escaped his lips. he had been proud of the stupid dad joke he just made.

it took a second for me to look away from him, but i took his hand and gave it a light shake.

“nice to meet you, dean”

“it’s way nicer to meet you chaeyeon” our eyes met as he gave my hand a gentle squeeze, his lips had formed a perfect smile and for a second I was so infatuated with him that I had momentarily forgotten why I came out in the first place.

“why don’t you stay. come inside, have some fun” he had noticed that I was intrigued by him and he purposely teased.

“no thanks” he was amused by my quick response but before he could reply we were interrupted.

“dean? come back inside babe!” a girl swung open the front door and the music escaped. she had shoulder length dark hair and pale skin with huge lips. her body was slim but she was tall, at least taller than me. she had a prominent hourglass figure and god she was pretty.

dean didn’t take his eyes off me as i analyzed the girl at the door. his eyes were glued on me and when i looked back at him he smirked, amused by my reaction.

“coming” he replied, his eyes still on me.

“well goodnight, I’ll see you tomorrow”

“tomorrow?” i asked.

“I live 10 feet away from you so unless you’re planning on avoiding me we will probably run into each often”

“right..” my lips flattened into an awkward smile, as I heard the girl call his name yet again in a whiny manner. i walked back into my house and I felt his eyes on me until the moment I closed the door behind me. I watched through the peep hole as dean went back in, taking the girl’s hand into his and shutting the door behind them. I turned my back to the door and pulled my phone out. as I was about to start texting I was knocked over by the door.

“chae!” jisu ran to me as I got up, rubbing my elbow.

“chae are you okay? I didn’t know you were there I’m sorry!” nayeon exclaimed and I chuckled, nudging jisu to let go of me.

“I’m fine, it’s not your fault don’t worry” for the second time that night, alcohol filled the air surrounding me. sochi and nayeon burst into laughter as soon as they saw that I was fine.

“ha ha so funny guys” I cracked a smile and rolled my eyes playfully.

“what the hell were you doing there?” nayeon barely managed to say, her laughs conquering her.

“nothing! I was just looking at how nasty the lawn looks now” my words paused the laughter filling the room and jisu walked over to the window, peeping through.

“they’re having fun tonight, but our lawn looks like crap now” she sighed, irritated. I could tell she was sober, as she usually was when we went out.

“we’ll beat them up tomorrow” sochi said as she took my hand and nayeon’s, dragging us upstairs.

“come on jisu! MOVIE NIGHT!” she yelled.

“shut up” I laughed, pushing her towards her room and she whined, mumbling to herself.

“I’m going to bed, night all” nayeon said as she stumbled into her room, jisu following behind to help her.

“I got nayeon, you got sochi?” I nodded in response as I walked into sochi’s room only to find her on the floor mumbling yet again.

“c’mon let’s get you in your pj’s and ready for bed” I grabbed her pj’s from a drawer, tossing them to her as she got up.

“can you close my window please, they’re loud” I went over to the window, taking a look before closing it. something near the bushes caught my eye. a tall light haired guy was outside making out with some girl. her short dark hair and tall, curvy frame were barely familiar but I was almost certain it was the girl who called dean back in earlier. it wasn’t very long before kissing turned to other stuff. there were tons of people on the lawn but I doubt anyone was sober enough to see them.

“chae?” I closed the window and the blinds, walking over to sochi.

“what’s up?”

“why were you staring out the window weirdo”

I rolled my eyes playfully and pushed her onto her bed.

“shut up and go to sleep”

“yes mom!”

I turned her light off and closed the door. once I entered my room I fell into bed, thinking about what happened in the span of only 40 minutes. was that dean’s girlfriend? did I just witness her cheating on him? why the fuck am I even thinking about this I literally met him half an hour ago. I tried to clear my head of the useless things I had been questioning and I eventually fell asleep.

the next morning I had gotten up early and went to the gym. thankfully it was early enough that everyone was still asleep. when I returned home I saw zico outside, removing all the cans and cups from our lawn. I hopped out of the car and walked towards him, from the looks of it he had been at it for a while because the lawn was almost spotless.

“oh, hi! I’m zico, sorry about the mess” he pressed his lips together and embarrassment flushed his face. I curled my lips into an amused smile, an unintentional laugh escaped and confusion crossed his face.

“you don’t remember meeting me last night?” his eyes wandered, trying to remember.

“no..sorry. I’m sober zico and I’m sorry if drunk zico said or did anything dumb last night. I hope it wasn’t a bad first impression”

“it’s alright, drunk zico met mad, sleep deprived chaeyeon so tell him she’s sorry for her attitude”

he smiled, relieved to find out he hadn’t done anything too stupid. I reached down and grabbed a couple cans, helping him pick up. the front door swung open from behind me and out came dean with the same girl from last night. her hair was messed up and her makeup was smeared but she still looked extremely pretty. dean’s hair wasn’t any better and he was carrying a pair of heels in one hand and car keys in the other. by the look on his face it was obvious that he wasn’t expecting to see me.

“dean! this is chae-“

“chaeyeon” dean finished the sentence for zico and the girl with him glanced at dean then at me and back at him.

“I remember you from last night” he nodded slightly and gestured toward the person next to him.

“this is heoyang, my girlfriend” he gently pushed her in my direction and she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear before extending her hand to me.

“hi it’s nice to meet you, we’ll most likely be seeing each other often” I took her hand and forced a smile.

“yeah, for sure” there was a moment of awkward silence. all I was thinking about was what I saw last night. this was none of my business but if I was in dean’s position I would want someone to tell me, but again, I’m not dean and I don’t even know him.

dean cleared his throat and walked closer to heoyang.

“I’ll be back soon I’m going to go drop her off” he looked at zico before he headed off toward a very expensive looking sports car with heoyang wrapped around his arm. once the car drove off zico looked at me, eyes squinting.

“what?”

“what happened with you and dean? he never acts so awkward in front of people” I shrugged and tossed him a can, walking towards my front door.

“maybe it’s because I just met him last night? I don’t know” zico stopped me before I closed the door behind me.

“hold up, we’re having a bbq in a couple of hours, you should join us and maybe your roommates too so we could all meet”

“yeah, sure, I’ll tell them right now” I smiled at zico. I liked him and I could tell we would vibe off each other really well. I walked in and the girls were all eating breakfast despite it being close to 12PM.

“chae come eat” jisu pointed to the empty place on the table with her fork that had a waffle on the end. I shaked my head and went into the kitchen to refill my water bottle.

“I grabbed a sandwich on my way home, thanks. by the way are you guys busy today? the neighbors invited us over for a bbq a little later” I walked back to the table, taking a seat and stealing a slice of banana from nayeon’s plate.

“no, I don’t have anything to do today. are they cute at least?” I smacked sochi’s shoulder and she rubbed it.

“I’ve only met two of them. One has a girlfriend and the other…well yeah he’s cute. not my type but he is good looking”

“nice, I’m there already” nayeon blurted out. I rolled my eyes playfully and made my way up to my room.

“I’m going to shower and get ready”

after I had showered I changed into a pair of light jean shorts and a racerback mustard tank top that exposed just a tad of midriff. I laid my hair down and put on some makeup. I loved makeup but I wasn’t very good at it so most of the time I avoided eyeshadow. lashes, liner and eyebrows were always a must oh and of course a nice highlight. it was now around 3PM and the girls were still getting ready as well.

there was a loud knock on the front door and I grabbed my phone, slipping it into my pocket before I went downstairs to open the door. it was zico. he looked..cleaner. his tank top exposed his toned arms, nice view.

“hey the food is almost ready, come out!” I nodded and called out for the rest of the girls. they came almost immediately which was unusual but since this involved guys they were all for it.

“sochi, nayeon, jisu, this is zico” they all exchanged hello’s and handshakes. we all followed zico out to his lawn where there were two picnic tables with the grill next to it. not to my surprise dean and heoyang were on one table eating and two other guys were sitting next to them. they got up once they spotted us and introduced themselves. hyoseob, who requested we call him crush because he “crushes hearts”, christain, and of course dean and heoyang. we all took a seat on the empty table and zico brought us burgers and chips. zico sat with us and soon crush and christain joined us too. we conversed, exchanging majors and where we were from. turns out zico and sochi lived in the same city but attended different high schools. they began to get along really well and exchanged numbers, social media etc.

while they were talking, dean had left for a bit to take heoyang home. once he returned the sun was beginning to set. he took a seat next to me, nayeon and jisu looked at me before returning to their conversation with the other two boys.

“hey so about last night"

“what about last night?” i said

“i tend to get flirty when i’m drunk, so sorry about that. don’t get it wrong i’m a loyal guy”

you might be loyal but she isn’t.

“it’s fine i didn’t think much of it anyways"

"yeah but still..” i patted his shoulder and grinned.

“don’t worry, i get it. my lips are sealed. i won’t tell your girl that you want a picture of me to look at everyday"

he dropped his mouth slightly but with a smile. he chuckled in relief and passed me his phone.

"how about i take your number instead of your picture. i heard you say you’re a chemistry major and i could use a lot of help with my chem class this semester. i’m a physics major"

"aren’t physics people really good at chemistry?"

"not this one” he joked. i took his phone anyways and inserted my digits.

“i charge $20 an hour on weekdays and $25 an hour on weekends but for you, there’s a special, i’ll charge you $25 whether it’s weekday or weekend"

"wow what an amazing deal, i can’t refuse that” he laughed at my dumb joke and took his phone back.

“so why did heoyang leave so soon? it’s only 5:30” wow did i really ask that.

“uh she said she wasn’t feeling very well”

“oh well i hope she gets better soon” the atmosphere was so awkward now. i fucked up, whoops. it didn’t last long, we soon got into the nerdiest conversation about science.

we began the new semester the next day and as weeks went by, I had been tutoring dean in chemistry and he had been helping me in physics. aside from our school life, we had also gotten close in terms of friendship. I learned that his favorite color was black, he had a secret crush on selena gomez, and he didn’t tell me this but it was very obvious that his family was very wealthy. he always paid for meals and was constantly buying expensive clothing. zico and sochi had begun flirting a lot and they liked hanging out with all of us as an excuse to be together so the two apartments had become good friends in a short period of time. dean, christian and I didn’t go out on the weekends as much as the others did because most of the time we were studying. over the course of the 5 weeks that flew by I had gotten a text from nayeon. she explained to me that she didn’t know what to do because she saw heoyang hooking up with some random dude at a party one night. I told her to keep it to herself but the guilt was almost choking me. I managed to keep shut and so did nayeon.

zico’s birthday was just around the corner and a party had been well planned. this time I would be enjoying it instead of yelling at them to shut up. we tried to keep it a surprise but zico figured it out quickly. the day of zico’s birthday we had a nice dinner, which dean had sponsored, and later that night the party was on. the music was blasting and people showed up out of nowhere. it was only 11PM and the whole place was packed. the scene outside the house was way too familiar and I laughed at myself at the memory.

nayeon jisu and sochi were all dancing . sochi had begun feeling those shots from earlier kick in. she was making zico’s birthday very happy. I stayed near the kitchen, sipping on my drink and watching my roommates being stupid while dancing. don’t get me wrong I was feeling those shots too but I wasn’t ready to show my wild side to zico or any of his roommates. dean had stayed with me most of the night when he wasn’t with heoyang. she kept leaving and coming back claiming her friends were texting her about drama. I could tell dean wasn’t believing it and neither was I, but he didn’t say anything to her.

it got hot in there so fast and soon enough I couldn’t stand being in a tight long sleeve.

“I’ll be right back I’m going to change, it’s super hot” dean nodded and took a sip of his drink.

“ok but come back”

“I will” I chuckled. I headed out the door and the cool air hit me. it felt so nice, I stood outside for a moment and took in the air. as I was about to open the door to my place, I heard something coming from the basketball court that was connected to our lawn. it was dark and I couldn’t see much. I was also drunk which didn’t help. I walked a little closer and the image became clearer. it was heoyang, she was pinned against the fence with her skirt up. there was a guy in front of her and I didn’t have to look long before I could figure out what was happening. I couldn’t control myself and within seconds I was filled with rage. I walked over to her faster than I’ve ever walked, or at least it felt like that. without warning I grabbed her hair and yanked it back.

“what the fuck are you doing” she pried my grip off her hair and shoved me back. I stumbled a little but managed to keep standing.

“don’t fucking touch me you little bitch” she fixed her skirt and with every second that passed my anger grew and without hesitation I splashed my drink on her and she charged at me. the guy she was with held her back and the noise we caused made tons of people come out. she was cursing at me left and right. at this point I didn’t care anymore. I shoved the guy off her and grabbed a fistful of hair, my other fist met her cheek quickly and she fought back. I managed to push her down against the cement and I busted her lip open before I was pulled off her. the same guy held heoyang back as she continued to scream at me and I looked back. dean had his arms tightly around me, preventing me from moving. his face was filled with confusion and horror.

“let go of me dean I’m going to finish what I started” I growled as I fought to slip out of his grip.

“stop! fucking stop! that’s my girlfriend for fucks sake!”

“then tell my why the fuck this is the third time I’ve seen that bitch hooking up with some other asshole?!” I yelled back at him with no prior thoughts. the crowd that had been watching went almost silent. I heard some oh shit’s from them and at that moment, I realized what I just said.

#dean #deantrbl #KwonHyuk #dean fanfic #dean kpop fanfic #oc x dean #130 mood: trbl #deanfluenza #deanfluenza fanfic #first time writing #please don't hate it #fanfic #deantheofficial #kpop #kpop fanfiction #kpop fanfic

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