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#jeno x y/n
wontune · 21 hours
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jeno ㅤㅤ[ 케이팝 ] ♡ nct dream lockscreens
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polarisjisung · 5 months
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SILENT TREATMENT
synopsis: your boyfriend broke some guy's nose for you, but what he doesn't realise is he also broke his promise to you
wc: 0.9k
pairings: bf!jeno x fem!reader
genre: fluff
warnings: mention of blood like once (feel the need to mention I don't want to romanticise violence 💀)
notes: jeno lee is driving me insane.
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Jeno doesn't like it, the silence. He liked to hear you ramble about nonsensical things, the sound of your awkward chatter filling the room, not the incessant pattering of rain against the roof above.
That's the first sign, he figures
On most days, you'd warn him before pressing an alcohol soaked cotton swab against his wounds, delicately pressing down on his jaw with a worried stare. Today you grip his chin firmly, tilting his head upwards and swiping over the cut less gently than before.
That's the second.
The air is cold coming in through the open bathroom window, the dim lighting not sufficient for him to make out your features, when you step a little further away, but still just enough for him to notice the way your nostrils flare and you bite at your lip when reaching for the antiseptic gel kept in the cupboard to your right.
Three of three, he thinks, and jeno comes to the only valid conclusion there is.
Your usually talkative, enthusiastic, and bubbly self now so cold and stand offish, it only meant one thing, something you could argue the lee found entertaining judging by the innocent smile on his lips.
"Are you angry at me?"
A glare is the only response jeno gets.
Not angry enough to leave him to tend to his own wounds, he figures, so really just how angry could you be?
"ow, it hurts" he whines cautiously, taking ahold of your hand as it passes over the deep red, bloody incision in his bicep— which by the way, was doing nothing to help you maintain your rage.
your eyes, however, don't widen, and your lips don't move forward into a pout, you don't react.
nothing except pulling your hand back.
maybe you were a little angrier than he thought.
"silent treatment huh?" he seems amused, a short chuckles escaping his busted lip as you  disinfect the wound, the laugh echoing through the room.
You couldn't stay mad at him, not for long at least, jeno knew that much, so despite watching you walk away to replace the first aid kit just where you found it, ready to use the next time jeno got himself like this, he knows he hasn't got a thing to worry about
Equally, you know jeno just as well, and you know that walking anywhere in his reach would end in you wrapped up in his arms, being showered with soft sweet apologetic kisses like always
Only you both realise your phone is left forgotten on the counter beside him, and if bothering your boyfriend after a long day wasnt on your list of things to do, scrolling for unnecessarily long hours through twitter certianly was.
In hopes to outsmart him you try and lunge to grab the device, only to find yourself in the very position you imagined, lee jeno's strong arms wrapped around your waist, sweet brown eyes staring back.
"can't run now can you baby?"
You scoff, only managing to turn your face away from his— getting uncaged from his arms was far beyond you.
Jeno let's his head fall into the crook of your neck, your floral perfume overtaking the medicinal smell in the air as he pecks the corner of your lips, slowly tracing your jawline with soft kisses until you finally turn to face him again.
"I'm sorry" he whispers, calloused, bruised hands holding your chin with utmost tenderness. The rough skin of his thumb traces over your lower lip, a soft kiss placed there once again.
"you said you wouldn't"
jeno pauses, confused.
"you promised you would stop"
the desperate tone in your voice is clear as day, and it doesn't take jeno much longer to realise, this wasn't about what he'd done, it was about what he'd said he wouldn't do
the cracks in your shaky voice are enough for the bitter taste of guilt to bubble in his stomach and rise to the tip of his tongue, your glossy eyes staring back, disappointed
"I'm sorry" he sighs, eyebrows furrowing as he stares down at you, "I'm so so sorry my sweet girl."
The hair messily sprawled across your forehead is pushed to the side by his index finger, an apologetic kiss pressed to your temple. Jeno's hand is placed at the crown of your head, soothingly passing his fingers through your hair when you're pulled forwards into his chest, resting your arms at his side as you let your weight fall onto him.
"Please, don't get hurt because of me" your hands reach for his, and jeno realises you're asking him once again, to promise he wouldn't do it—this time he doesn't know if he can.
"I can't stand it." his tone differs from the sweet one he uses with you, or the mocking one he'd taken on earlier, now he spits harsh words at the floor, eyes rolling instinctively. "those scumbags talking about my pretty girl like that."
you notice the way his fist tightens, the plasters you'd just placed over his knuckles slipping off his skin in seconds.
"if you can fight them for me" with a cold hand against his cheek, you reach up to guide his eyes back to meet yours, "can't you, not, fight them for me too?"
he smiles— you giggle, the very man who'd just taken on another 2 guys almost twice his size just a few minutes ago now looked at you with a wide grin and two crescent moons in place of his eyes.
"I'll try" and suddenly you wear a smile just as wide as his "I'd do anything for you"
You don't doubt it.
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p4p1l0nn · 2 months
Text
wake up, s*x, and eat.
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pairing: lee jeno x reader
content warning: 18+, morning sex, oral sex, blow jobs, hair pulling, hand jobs, fluff and smut, mdni.
a/n: after a break from writing, author is back with a fresh jeno fic ;) a big thanks to everyone who leaves wonderful comments and to those who still stick around!
mornings with jeno were often a bit blurry due to his early obligations, a challenge for any relationship.
however, the rare occasions he had a morning off became cherished moments. on those special days, the two of you would linger in bed until late morning, enjoying each other's company while indulging in movies.
this morning marked an unusual early wake-up for you. observing your boyfriend sprawled out, blankets askew, you initially resisted disturbing his rare chance for a peaceful sleep-in.
opting for a snuggle, your hand traced patterns on his skin until you reached his lower stomach, where you unexpectedly encountered his morning wood.
your lips curved mischievously as a playful idea crossed your mind, your thoughts taking a daring turn. the thought of surprising him with a morning gift seemed quite enticing, especially when envisioning the pleasure it might bring.
a slight nibble on your lip accompanied your impromptu decision — after all, what harm could there be in such a spontaneous act?
you slipped beneath the covers, positioning yourself between his legs. the undeniable firmness beneath the thin fabric of his boxers prompted a playful touch, letting a soft moan escape your lips.
slowly, you eased his boxers down, revealing his hard resting against his stomach. leaning in, you placed gentle kisses around his hips, indulging in the exquisite texture of his skin. each lingering touch left subtle marks, promising a memory to revisit in the days to come.
taking control, your fingers wrapped around his hardened length, delivering slow strokes. the sight fueled you, evident in the slight bite on your lip. focused on his pleasure, you continued to work him with intentional pumps until your excitement bubbled over.
you traced a sensual path with your tongue from the base to the tip, savoring the responsive twitch beneath its touch.
you sensed jeno's body tense, a clear sign of his awakening, and a sense of satisfaction washed over you. above the sheets, he gasped for breath, a smile playing on your lips — your playful teasing had its effect.
you used both hands, exploring different speeds along his length, occasionally adding gentle kisses. the touch of your lips drove him wild.
he lost control, urging you to take him further, his head thrown back into the pillows, and a fist clenching the sheets. the need for your teasing tongue was intense, as if it held the power to push him over the edge.
“b-baby . . . p-please . . .” he begged.
you teased with your tongue around the tip before slowly taking him into your mouth, drawing a satisfied response from jeno.
your hands gripped his hips as the sheets rustled above, and his hand found its way into your hair, letting jeno guide the rhythm, you moved up and down, meeting his hungry thrusts, leading to a deep-throating experience that triggered your gag reflex.
jeno sighed in pleasure, and as you moaned around him, you focused on breathing. your hand took over, sliding smoothly along from the moisture of your mouth and his precum.
he groaned, tugging at your hair, clearly wanting your mouth on him again.
you complied, took him back in as you moved your head. slowly, your nails traced up and down his torso, adding extra sensations. his back arched in response.
“a-ah f-fuck, fuck, fuck!”
you attempted to take his full length again, deep throating, a single tear rolling down your cheek as jeno thrust sharply into your throat.
“ah, shit, y/n,” jeno exclaimed, almost screaming if not for the reminder of the neighbors.
he panted, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. you climbed jeno’s body, his flushed cheeks and parted lips revealing the intensity of the moment.
“morning baby,” you hummed, giving his soft lips a peck.
“good morning, love,” he responded, his voice deep and full of love.
a short pause lingered, brimming with gentle kisses and needy touches. you pulled away slightly, looking into jeno’s eyes, “what do you want for breakfast, baby?”
jeno chuckled, his eyes dancing with mischief. “well, how about a serving of you, extra naughty?” he teased.
you blushed, trying to stifle a laugh. “come on, be serious. what do you want to eat?”
jeno’s expression turned serious, though a glint of mischief remained. “i am serious. you're my favorite morning treat.”
you rolled your eyes, playfully swatting his arm. “i mean real food, jeno. pancakes, eggs — what do you feel like eating?”
he leaned in, whispering suggestively, “how about we cook up something . . . hot together?”
your cheeks flushed, but you couldn't suppress a grin. ���fine, let's make breakfast . . . and then maybe we can explore other appetites.”
with a knowing glint in his eyes, jeno agreed, “best way to start the day.”
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hyuckiefluff · 5 months
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Hiiii! May i request a mini fic where the femreader loves to play with jeno's hair. Can u add a little fluff to it? 🥹
I love ur fics so much! Thank u! 💗
thank uu for requesting!! feedback is greatly appreciated <3
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pairing: lee jeno x fem reader
cw: none! unless ure like me and lovey-dovey couples trigger u lol im jk!!! no but writing this rlly had me kicking my feet cuz i can vividly imagine jeno being like this irl
wc: 500+
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With the TV light casting a soft glow around the room, you tugged the blanket over your and Jeno’s bodies after feeling him shiver slightly, cocooning yourselves in its coziness.
"Why aren't you wearing a shirt? It's like -5 outside, babe," you looked down at your boyfriend, who was sprawled out on top of you on the couch. His arms wrapped tightly around your frame, seeking warmth in your proximity. You both were having a lazy day, watching the Bob Ross channel since you got called off work due to the snowstorm.
"I prefer your warmth," he mumbled, his voice sounding a bit slurred since half his face was buried in your chest. "Actually, you should take your shirt off too. I heard it's the best way to fight off hypothermia... skin-to-skin."
"Hypothermia is a bit of a reach, and please, stop being such a horn-dog for two seconds."
"Can't help it," he replied in a raspy tone, his slow blinks signaling that he was on the verge of falling asleep.
You smiled fondly, and your hands instinctively moved to his back, where you began to scratch. He groaned in satisfaction, and you could feel his leg twitch a little. It reminded you of a puppy when you rubbed its belly.
"You like that?" you inquired, and he responded with a contented hum.
Your hands traveled up to his shoulders, massaging his tense trapezoids. "Ahh, baby, that feels amazing," he slurred, his head growing heavier on your chest, a clear sign that he was relaxing more.
"Should've done this yesterday after your workout," you pointed out, your fingers expertly working the knots in his muscles. You noticed how tense he was and how he flinched a little when you pressed too hard.
He only managed a noise in response, lost in the bliss of your ministrations. Your fingers found their way into his messy locks, and he sighed contentedly. You knew he loved it when you played with his hair the most.
"Your hair's grown a lot," you said, grabbing onto a particularly long section.
"Yeah, I should cut it soon," he replied casually.
"You will do no such thing, sir," you declared.
He snorted at your sudden seriousness, but when you remained silent, he looked up and cooed at your frown.
"Baby, you said it yourself, it's getting out of control," he teased, laughing at your dramatics.
You rolled your eyes playfully. "Just say that you hate your girlfriend..."
His eyes softened, and he reached up to cup your cheek, his touch warm against your skin.
"You're so cute, and you take such good care of me, how could I ever hate you?" he murmured, his gaze filled with affection.
He raised himself slightly, leaning in to leave a soft kiss on your jaw. Your attempts to be fake-mad at him never lasted long, especially when he did sweet things like this. You reciprocated by pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead. This led to a playful kiss battle, each peck and smooch more intense than the last until you fell defeated, collapsing into a fit of giggles when he playfully attacked your lips with his.
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setsugekka · 10 months
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❥summer hair = forever young (m)
↳ Only three weeks after being broken up with by your long time partner, you’re dragged along for your friends summer vacation plans despite your best attempts at staying home to do little more than feel sorry for yourself.
Day one? Dinner and a movie.
Day two? The bar down the street that smells like old socks.
Day three? Well, that’s the waterpark, and the cute, blonde lifeguard that seems to make the lazy river his mainstay is a bit of a sight for sore eyes.
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lee jeno x fem!reader — summer fling, strangers to lovers, fluff, light angst, porn with plot, explicit sexual content. [18,1k wc] cws: alcohol consumption, penetrative sex, oral sex (f), praise, dirty talk, body cum-shot, Lee Jeno has a Big Dick.
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J♡ [22:40]: i just think with summer coming up it's probably for the best, we had fun but we both knew it wasn't a forever thing anyway
A year and a half. Just like that.
Even now, two days after the break up text from your boyfriend — the boyfriend that you were very much in love with and very much thought it to be at the very least a potential forever thing with — you find yourself coming back to it. Rereading it. Wondering what it was that brought the two of you to the here and now of it all.
Though, the pictures of him at a party that had been posted the following day sort of gave it away, you suppose.
Still, there had been talk of future plans, futures together and what that looked like. Maybe not quite a family and the white picket fence just yet — but there had been discussions over romantic dinners and between the sheets after some particularly enjoyable bedroom romps. At least, you had thought as much.
In hindsight, a break up always causes you to put every interaction leading up to it under a microscope. What could you have done differently, better, how could you have avoided the reality that you now find yourself in.
You choose not to reread over the texts you've sent him since, mostly out of humiliation of the fact. Through the crying and the begging and the reducing yourself down to someone that you don't even recognize even in the worst of times, the only thing that makes it that much worse is the lack of any such acknowledgement from a man who had once promised you so much of himself. Not granted even so much as a conversation — hell, he couldn't even be bothered to meet you in person to do it properly — the most likely case? Jaehyun met some girl at some party that in the moment he felt was worth ending the relationship for.
And in times like this, you realize it's difficult to think that you ever really know someone at all.
In the following weeks, your friends are kind, but even you can tell that they begin to get fed up with your insistence on being miserable over a guy that couldn't grace you with even an ounce of the same thoughtfulness.
Constantly turning down plans in favor of staying home on the couch with a bag of snacks and some shitty romance flick, the squad of pals that you've collected over the years only becomes more and more pushy of your getting up and out there once again — in the nicest way, of course. Comments about how he wasn't even that handsome (a lie) and wouldn't end up being all that successful anyway (also a lie) sneak themselves into conversations at any brief moment that any of them can sneak them in, as if attempting to convince you of the fact; rather, the reminder of him only serves as just that. You don't need it, because you're still at a point of pain in your chest where Jaehyun is always there. Knocking, jabbing, not allowing himself to fall off from your mind even for a second.
They mean well, but these things take time. You're thankful that with summer vacation coming up and the girls having plans to go out of town for a few weeks that you'll be granted a small amount of reprieve from the barrage of commentary, at the very least.
That is, of course, until the day comes.
"Rise and shine, darling! We're going on a mission!"
Waking to the shrill voice of one of the girls as she rips the covers off of your body — simultaneously exposing your freshly opened eyes to the offending illumination of the sunlight outside as another girl pulls open the curtains of a window just across the room — you briefly attempt to reach for the duvet before instead accepting defeat and instead slumping back into the cushion of the mattress, anticipating whatever nonsense these women have in store for you this time.
"What kind of mission?" You ask with a dry and throaty groan.
With blankets bunched in her arms, a girl with long, silver hair brings herself just next to your head while you remain lied and despondent in bed. "Today we leave for summer vacation."
One eye cracked open at the words from Winter's mouth, you groan again before answering her. "Yes, you all leave for summer vacation. I told you I wasn't going."
"Why?" Another girl chimes in from the doorway. A beautiful woman with long, silky black hair. "So you can stay here all month long and continue feeling bad for yourself? That guy was a fuckin' loser anyway."
"Karina."
"What?" She adds in retaliation. "He was."
Still standing by the window and with a white curtain in hand, Giselle rolls her eyes at her friends bluntness. Really, you know them all to believe it to be the case, but Karina is the only one willing to go to such feats to speak on it.
"What she means is that it would probably do you some good to get out and come away with us," Giselle amends, garnering a rather unbothered shrug from Karina along the way. "It's only two weeks, it certainly couldn't hurt."
Sighing at the words, you remain laid out in the comfort of your bed. Staring at the ceiling, you realize that there is still a small part of you that can't help but consider the possibility of Jaehyun calling you to tell you of the mistake that he has made, that the two of you should meet up and rekindle things, and the thought of being far away and well out of reach should that time come to pass causes an uncomfortable twisting in your gut that you're not all that ready to disclose to your friends in the room.
Partially because you know it to be so far from the realm of possibility, and partially because it's not a conversation that you're all that interested in rehashing with them now, either.
Regardless, you know there to be truth in their words. Staying home and feeling bad about where your love life has ended up thus far is not going to serve you: not in the near or the far future. Knowing as much, it then begs the question...
Is it worth throwing away an entire summer vacation for?
Inhaling slowly, your lips part to speak, but as your eyes fall upon Winter once more, you watch as her face begins to twist into that of glee before the words even begin to leave your mouth.
"Yes!" She exclaims with a jump before turning and ushering the other girls to begin packing belongings for your last minute trip.
It's only a few hours over to the next town by the beach, anyway, so if they forget anything of importance you'll easily be able to find something to make up for it upon arrival. You leave them to it over the calamity of delighted squeals as the women shove your belongings into a bag, and as you stare up at the ceiling over your head for one last time before your departure, you can't help but wonder: what are you getting yourself into this summer?
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Four hours and twenty minutes in the backseat of Ningning's luxury SUV.
It's not the worst way to get somewhere, but the additional hour of travel time most certainly could have been shaved off if any of the people in the car capable enough of navigating a GPS application.
Instead, the time there offers you far too much ability to live with your own thoughts about whether or not you're in the right headspace to truly be making this trip. Granted, it's a little bit too late for that now on account of not being able to back out should you even want to — rather, you can't help but wonder if you're already regretful of having allowed yourself to be dragged along for such a thing.
Every ten minutes or so you check your phone for a message, not that you're keeping track or anything.
The concern is alleviated for a time upon finally reaching the summer beach house, at least. From the outside it's nothing fancy; perhaps appearing as nothing more than a typical, large family home at a glance — but putting together the knowledge of it being just walking distance from the sandy coast out back and the large count of at least six bedrooms inside — you know it to be far beyond just the way that it may present. Expected, of Ningning and her affluent family, and at the very least you're thankful in knowing that you'll have a bedroom for yourself that most likely has a lock on the door should you wish to take some time away from the girls at hand.
You feel somewhat guilty in thinking that, though: friends that you've known since the beginnings of high school and now well into the tail end of higher educational years, people who have been with you through thick and thin and through all of your poor decisions, messy break ups, and rash meltdowns. For whatever reason, this one feels different. The desire to be away and alone with nothing more than your feelings of sorrow, and sometimes you find yourself even lamenting the fact that you have to acknowledge anyone or anything outside of that.
It's good to feel your feelings, this much you know. It's probably better to not allow them to consume you, however uncomfortable it is, though.
Blonde hair swishing through the air as she twirls with keys jingling in hand, Ningning turns with a wide smile to the rest of you as she pushes the front door open and subsequently removes herself from the doorway to allow you all to go before her. "Home sweet home!"
Upon entering the premises, you can't help but think that 'sweet' may be an understatement: two stories and ceilings higher than you can really even fathom with more window paning serving as a perimeter than proper walling — it's most definitely a luxury home, and one that you couldn't really fathom ever owning for yourself, or even really being able to afford renting for a getaway such as this without the additional help of a well-off pal.
It's beautiful, and it makes you realize just how lucky you are to have friends willing to drag you out of your misery to force you to come along and experience it with them.
"Bedrooms are upstairs except for the largest one, which I'll be staying in on account of familial ties," the girl proudly explains as you all enter and set your bags down in the living room area. "Kitchen is to the left, as is another, smaller living area, pool, deck, and then obviously you guys can figure out how to get to the beach."
It goes without saying, because even though the sun is out upon your arrival, you can't imagine not being able to see the crashing of waves even in the nighttime from where you stand now. Looking out towards the coast, it makes your heart swell with promise and thankfulness once over.
You gotta give it to them, they might have been right.
Still, you've checked your phone twice since you've arrived.
"Should we freshen up then have dinner?" Karina asks suddenly and with evident excitement in her voice. You all nod.
"Dinner and a movie in on the first night," Winter adds, grabbing her bags once again. "But after that I expect nothing but trouble until we have to go back home."
Somehow, you don't doubt that to be the outcome, either.
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Day two is simple, and much to Winter's displeasure. You, however, are a bit thankful for it on account of your inability to truly settle in. It helps after having gone to the bar just down the way and having a few drinks — that always does the trick in getting you to dreamland, but the aid of alcoholic beverages isn't one that you wish to rely on as a crutch for sleeping during your two week stay and without another plan of action, you think it best to take it easy and lie a little low for what may be the remainder of the trip for you.
When day three rolls around and Karina excitedly throws out the option of the enormous, landmark of a waterpark that the city is known for — everyone is beyond elated at the suggestion, even you.
Some sun and a little outdoors could probably do you good, and on top of that, you'll be far too exhausted from a day out not to get a good nights rest by the time your body meets the comfort of your bed.
With swimsuits on and towels in hand as the five of you enter the gates of the park, you realize that you had overlooked how busy it would be — and by quite a wide margin.
Crowds not really your thing and especially not during some of the hottest days of summer, you bite back any possible complaints you could have and instead focus on the positives: you and your friends are looking fine as hell, there's a comfortable breeze that you couldn't be happier to feel right about now, and your phone is tucked away inside of a locker — far from your sight until the day is over.
You're hopeful for any thoughts of him being just as tucked away as a result, too.
In the meantime and barely out of sight long enough for you to even notice, Giselle pops back up to your side with a bright blue slushie in one hand. "What should we do first?"
"Where did you even get that?" You can't help but question.
Turning and pointing, Giselle brings your line of vision over to a shirtless man standing at a small kiosk only a few feet away. "Hot guy selling them."
"We should definitely see if there's any more of those around here," Karina adds upon looking, and as a result, you cock your head somewhat confused. "Slushies?"
"Hot guys," she confirms sternly.
The thing about post-break up heartbreak is that often times the blinders to other people some times turn themselves on without your knowing it.
That is to say that even though you're not actively thinking about Jaehyun, and there are extremely attractive men here, you can't say that you're all that interested in the fact.
Standing back, you find joy at least in watching your friends enjoy themselves as they flirt with strange guys and playfully pat their arms and shoulders — laughing at jokes that aren't funny but for this, we can pretend — you know it all too well, and you suppose that from an outsiders point of view, it certainly is amusing, and given how long the line is up to this slide, you're thankful for the entertainment.
Nearing thirty minutes in line for one attraction in the hot, beating down summer sun is far from your idea of a good time, but you can see the end soon approaching, and while you cannot imagine that the ride down be worthy of this sort of gathering of people, the faster you can get up there, on the ride, and down, the better.
With only a small family of four ahead of your group now, you and the girls stand just near the very top of the water slide. Sweat pooling in all sorts of places that you'd really rather it not on account of the heat, you find yourself nearing the end of your willingness to enjoy this place, and more than that, you're happy that this is one of those slides that holds numerous people at once so that no one has to wait to get down from what you might consider now to be the highest mountain in the pits of Hell.
The family goes along their way, and with Karina ahead of you and the other behind you, the girl leans back to whisper towards you through the loud shouts of happy children surrounding you.
"Oh, girl—"
Granted, you don't know what this means as you continue with the last couple of steps to the top. Not until you get up there and your eyes land on precisely what it is that you know garnered that type of reaction from her.
Standing just beside the opening of the slide and preparing an inflatable tube for your party of pals, he doesn't take notice of you and yours before your lot does of him, and for that you're somewhat thankful considering the way that your eyes rake over the toned, tanned, display of arms and a bleached-blonde undercut of hair with the sides and back all too freshly shaven, at that.
With a loose tank top covering his torso, you can't help but feel a bit disappointed in the fact. A modest man working at the waterpark, you think, and it brings a bit of a grin to your lips despite the joke only being known to you.
In that moment and with it now being your turn to ride, he looks up and makes eye contact with you, in particular — a wide smile of teeth that's matched by an equally pleasant eye smile, as well — punctuated by a small freckle just at the lower corner of his right eye.
"First time riding?"
"What?"
You realize as soon as the affronted response leaves your lips that it is no ones fault but your own that you've responded to such a normal question in this way. Perhaps entirely on account of your eye-fucking the cute lifeguard before he even manages to get a word in edgewise, you watch him cock his head to the side inquisitively at your answer before snorting out a bit of a chuckle through his nose and continuing on as if you're not a complete fucking freak in public.
"Is it your first time? On this ride?"
"Oh," you answer back as normally as you can possibly muster up. "Uh, yeah, first time."
"Cool," he says, holding the raft still while your friends climb on and get into position beside you. "Hold onto the railing, don't let go, don't stick your hands out and try to touch anything along the way."
With a knowing grin, Karina leans forward to grab his attention as he pulls you and your girls towards the opening of the slide. "What happens if I lose a finger? Are you going to come down there and rescue me?"
It's flirtatious, although you can't help but think the logistics of it could potentially use some work.
But with little more than a shake of his head and a smile, the cute blonde answers the inquiry in the best way you think him to know how.
"I work at a waterpark, don't think you want me sewing anything on you back together. Have fun!"
And with that, the hot lifeguard disappears into the dark, black abyss of the waterslide.
When the day comes to a close and simultaneously, the park itself, with gentle sunburns gracing you and your friends skin and with slushies in hand, the five of you finally retrieve your belongings from the lockers near the entrance.
You check the screen of your phone to find little more than a text from your mother, asking how you're doing and if you're having a good time.
Looking forward to the day in which not finding a message from your ex won't make your throat feel like swallowed needles, as well.
"I see everyone made it out with all of their appendages."
The voice and joke are familiar in a sort of way that you can't seem to place just yet, but upon raising your sights from the depressing display at hand and towards the person in which the words have come from, it all comes rushing back to you at lightning speed. Eyes wide and taken quite aways aback, you just about drop your phone and as a result of scrambling to not let it meet the wet concrete of the floor below, nearly make a mess of the icy, blue beverage in hand, as well.
Thankfully, neither disastrous outcome make themselves to be — but still, your inability to be even a little bit normal in front of a man you've known for all of two minutes is getting a little out of hand, at this point.
Still in the same white, cut up t-shirt from back at the slides, the two of you make eye contact for a moment before you realize that you should probably actually say something to him in response.
"Yeah, well," you start with a nod back behind him and towards where Karina stands. "She was the one with intent to remove fingers, not me."
Pausing to glance back over his shoulder and acknowledge the other woman, he gives her a nod before turning his attention back and towards you.
"Good, because I really mean it when I say I can't sew for shit."
You can't help but chuckle at the words. "Would be quite a repertoire of skills under your belt if that were to be the case."
"Indeed. You live around here or on vacation?"
Sly, you think to yourself. Granted, you don't hate the attention especially since he seems keen on directing it to you, in particular. It does beg the question, however, of how much of a point is there to any of this, really? A summer fling can be fun, sure, although not exactly your usual speed of doing things — and especially not off of the back of some of the worst heartbreak you've ever experienced — you look the man in front of you over just one more time before parting dry, chapped lips to respond to him in some form or another.
"Vacation," you grant him, albeit slowly, as if anticipating something suspicious in his questioning. "Why?"
It's sort of a stupid question, you know.
Perching a well-defined arm up against the metal locker next to the both of you, he leans into it and maintains eye contact with you before answering as much. "We should do something while you're in town."
Reeling at how forward he is, your answer comes out a bit more stuttered than you would have liked to begin with. "I—I'm not sure there's much point in tha—"
But regardless, Karina is there to interject, anyway.
Nudging herself into the scene and with her own phone in hand, the woman stands between you and him to do something that you stand a bit half and half on: it's somewhat annoying, and a bit out of bounds especially as friendships go to be giving out your number to men that you've only barely just met...however...
He is so fine, and a bit charming, to boot.
"Here's her number," you hear your friend say as she stands with her back towards you. The whole thing takes place in a matter of seconds, and as he slides his phone back into his pocket, Karina makes haste in whisking herself back out of the scene, but not before flashing you a knowing, mischievous smile.
"Trouble that one is, huh?" He says, thumbing back over his shoulder as she disappears into the rest of your friend group.
"You have no idea," you sigh in response, and now resigned to the fact that this is definitely going to be some kind of thing, you figure it best to move along towards the next most obvious course of action. Whatever this is going to be, after all. "So, what's your name?"
Corners of his mouth pulling into an all too pleasant curl, you hate how much it sort of makes you melt at the sight of it. An unfortunate side effect of much too attractive and seemingly also kinda cool guys, you figure.
"Jeno," he says, as if delighted by the fact that you would ever even ask. "Lee Jeno."
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Over the next handful of days — through a shocking amount of quiet evenings spent at home around take-out boxes and cheap wine with the girls — texts from the cute blonde at the waterpark that you now know to be named Jeno come far more frequently than you realize you had anticipated.
For one, he knows that you don't live around here so you can't imagine there to be much of a reason for him to be pursuing you for much more than a fun romp in the sheets, only to then never speak to you ever again. It's not an arrangement you're all that opposed to under normal circumstances, though you can't help but consider that where you are mentally and emotionally right about now is far from normal circumstances.
And two, he hasn't really laid on the same sort of aggressive, sexual interest that you may have expected from a guy looking for that sort of thing.
In fact, talking to Jeno is just pretty...casual.
Seemingly making it a point to text you late into the night and right before bed (incredible timing every time, you note), you chuckle every time thinking that this time to be the one where he comes on strong. After all, most men only text women that they're interested in this late at night for one thing and one thing only, so every time as the chime of your phone receiving a message comes through, you arm yourself with the armor of anticipating something heinous to some degree — you can only hope that it's not a dick pic, at least.
Phone in hand, lights off and snuggling into the plush, comfortable sheets of your bedding, you unlock your phone and navigate to your messaging application to see just what it is that lies in wait for you this evening.
Jeno [01:23]: good morning, or night, i never know how to announce myself at this time of the day
It's sort of annoying the way you can't help but smile, but you're thankful enough for the fact that he is unable to see the effect he already has on you in such a way.
In the wake of being told that you're not wanted, not desired — sometimes it's nice to have a reminder that not everyone feels that way.
You have no intention of engaging in anything more than basic flirtation with this man, but hey, that can be enough.
You [01:24]: how do you always know exactly when i'm settling in for bed?
Typing bubble popping up immediately after sending your message, you can't help but wonder just how eager this guy really is to be the receiver of your full attention.
Jeno [01:24]: i have karina on look out so she can let me know precisely the right time to hit you up
You [01:24]: creepy, but i respect your willingness to tell me, at least
Jeno [01:25]: well, you know what they say, honesty is the best policy. what are you guys doing tomorrow night?
Taking a moment to mull over the question before you begin typing your reply, you answer him easily, but mostly out of curiosity in why it is that he's asking.
You [01:26]: i don't think we have anything planned? you can ask karina ;p
Jeno [01:26]: very funny, are you going to hold that terrible joke over my head forever? anyway, my friend is having a party at his place, parents out of town for a week, you guys should come by.
You're none too proud of the way your heart beats just that much harder for a split second in time at the coming through of the invitation. Still, play it cool.
You [01:27]: i'll ask the girls tomorrow if we have anything going on and i'll get back to you. are any of your friends cute?
You're not sure you've ever seen the typing bubble pop up that quickly in your life after sending that message.
Jeno [01:27]: really man? already trying to scope out my friend group to see if you can get an upgrade? :(
You [01:28]: i have friends...they will want to know...it will likely be a huge deciding factor in whether or not we show up at all so think carefully lol
Jeno [01:28]: fine! yeah i guess some of them are handsome, not quite as handsome as me but you know what can you do? hehe
Rolling your eyes but with grin still plastered across your lips, you begin typing your response back to him.
You [01:28]: i'll pass the message along then
Jeno [01:29]: cool. get some sleep then, you really shouldn't be texting strange men so late at night anyway, who knows what could happen hehehe goodnight, rest well
Part of you wants to rebuke the claim despite very much having already considered it for yourself, but in an effort to not appear too interested and too eager, you simply leave the conversation alone and with that as the last message sent for the evening.
Butterflies in your stomach and the promise of who-knows-what at this party tomorrow leaves sleep hard to come by, but you figure it's at least a little worth it if it means checking your phone for text messages from a different man whose name starts with a 'J' for once.
Of course, you're none too surprised once you find yourself at said house party.
A bit more rambunctious than what you'd typically like to find yourself at back home — with slews of college-aged people running, yelling, dancing and talking amongst themselves as well as throughout the entire premises of the property both in and outside — as you and your friends make your way inside to the enormous stacking of alcohol bottles and disposable plastic cups, it's one particularly bright head of blonde hair that catches the corner of your eye as he makes his way across the room and towards you with a smile.
Nudging your arm gently with his elbow, as if to say 'I told you so' about your being there at all, Jeno grins even wider once your eyes meet. "So? What do you think?"
Looking around briefly, you glance back towards him with suspicion plastered across your face.
"I'm starting to think you might be too young for me."
Jeno reels at the suggestion with eyes wide and full of shock. "Why? Adults can party. You don't party?"
"I do, just not typically messy frat house parties...at least, not anymore."
Knitting his eyebrows together and slanting his grin, Jeno cocks his head sideways to look at you with something of a twinge of judgment. "It's a beach town, and a popular destination for summer breakers obviously, what do you expect? Maybe try winter break, next time."
Nudging you again to punctuate the thought playfully, you look back towards Giselle who quickly pushes an alcoholic concoction of you'll-never-know into your hand with a grin before her and the others begin to disappear into the crowd.
"Wait! Where are you guys going?"
"You have your date, we're going to find ours," Winter answers back with a casual flip of her hair. Then, her attention pulls to the man standing just beside you. "What was his name again?"
"Jaemin."
"Whatever," she says quickly and as if nothing he could have possibly responded with would have made any sort of a difference either way. "We'll be around, we all have our phones. If you need someone, you know how to get us."
Panic subtly settling in at the thought of being left alone with this guy that you barely know at all, it's not that you feel unsafe with him, or that you can't trust his intentions — no, it's far from anything so insidious that has your nerves firing and the anxiety bubbling up in your gut.
What if it's awkward?
"Ta-ta!" Ningning chimes as the four of them walk away, and it's in that moment that you realize you are deep, deep into the lions den, now.
In a room full of busy people, you can't think of a time that you've ever felt quite so alone.
Then, you feel your phone vibrate. A message from Karina.
Kari [20:42]: let the hot guy from the waterpark make it all better :p you know what they say, the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else
Turning your phone far out of sight of Jeno upon reading the message, another comes through before you have the chance to begin typing any kind of reply to her.
Kari [20:42]: or bent over by someone else, or on top of someone else? well you can fill me in on the details when he's done filling
You don't bother reading the rest of the message as you quickly lock your phone and shuffle it back into your pocket, but you're thankful enough when your attention comes back to Jeno that in the meantime he has struck up conversation with another guy just beside him. It gives you a moment to look him over for the first time, too: messily slicked back blonde hair and black button down shirt that's equally messily tucked into far too nicely fitting black jeans with a carefully placed aesthetic rip at one of the knees.
He looks good, and you're glad you didn't over or underdress in your fitted jeans and simple blouse, also.
"This is my friend, Renjun, he's the home owner...well, sort of," Jeno starts once he realizes you're finished with the nonsense going on within your cellular device. "He's one of the handsome ones we touched on briefly last night."
Introducing yourself in kind, you shake hands with the new acquaintance as he laughs at the concept of being discussed. "Thanks, happy to know I made the cut, I guess. What are you doing talking to this fuckin' guy, anyway?"
Jeno's eyes widen at the sudden attack. "Hey! I just complimented you, come on!"
Not helping the laugh that erupts from their jest, you take a sip of your horrendous drink before responding. "It's been a little out of my hands from the get-go. I'm just sort of along for the ride, he keeps texting me every night, what am I supposed to do?"
"Ah, yeah, I've heard that about this one before," Renjun nods and sighs, with Jeno spiraling into disaster beside the both of you all the while. "Can't let him start texting, he'll never quit. I hate to tell you, but you're basically married, now. He's a level five clinger."
"I am not a level five clinger!"
"That's unfortunate," you casually respond, carrying on the conversation with Renjun as if Jeno not even standing there at all. "Hopefully he doesn't have any weird quirks that are hard to live with, then."
Renjun shakes his head as he takes a sip from his own cup. "Nah, he's a pretty simple guy, all things considered, I think you'll have a pretty easy time with this one."
"Well that's comforting, at least."
"Hello!" Jeno finally interjects with success, stalling the ongoing banter and bringing both of your attention back to him. "I'm literally right here!"
Smiling then, Renjun brings a heavy hand up and to the back of Jeno's shoulder before turning on his heel and beginning his exit in the wake of destruction. "Have fun, call me if you need anything."
With a lull in the ongoing messiness that so far is this evening as it stands, you and Jeno stand calmly before one another for a few moments with no words spoken; that is, of course, until his lips part and he gently offers up an idea of his own.
"Want to go some place quieter so we can talk?"
There's certainly a distinct level of unease that courses through your bones with every step you take towards the second level of the home. Passing by people already paired off for the evening and making out on the steps for what feels like forever — you can't help but wonder if this is some kind of preliminary entry into what he thinks is going to be on the agenda for the evening. Yes, you had already considered this much, and yes, you're aware of precisely the types of things that go on at parties such as this, but it doesn't mean that just because you're here and to see a guy, at that, that you're resigning yourself to partaking in any such festivities.
Jeno leads the way, and once the two of you make it up to the dimly lit hallway lined with a handful of doors — some open, some closed, and a handful of people leaned against the walls engaging in their own, private activities — it's as he continues towards one of the open doors of what you could only presume to be a bedroom that your heart sinks into your stomach and you dig your heels into the ground.
"I don't—" Is all you can manage out, because it's awkward and you don't really want to make an ordeal out of this either. You don't know this man, and especially not well enough to know how he'll take to being denied the thing that he seems to be under the impression that he will be obtaining tonight. As a result, you lay out the 'soft no,' in hopes that it will be enough to get the point across.
Head turning and glancing back at you upon hearing the words, you're a little taken aback by his response: less because of any of the potential, aforementioned reasons, but rather...because he appears confused.
Did he really think he had it in the bag that easily? Just because you showed up tonight?
The thought is enough to raise a level of irritation in you that has you feeling comfortable enough in asserting yourself just that much more. "I don't want to—I'm not going to—"
It still takes a second, but when he finally realizes, it seems to hit him like a semi-truck.
"O—Oh, no! No, no! That's not...I wasn't...I didn't think—"
Hands up in front of his chest as if in full retreat just on account of the mere implication of it, you're a little charmed by the tinge of blush that takes across his cheeks and especially highlights his ears.
But more than that, you believe him in his earnest.
"I just thought because it's quieter up here, no music and less people...I didn't think anything was going to—we can keep the door open! Or go back downstairs, anything is fine by me."
You're charmed, just a bit. You hate to admit it to yourself, and you certainly aren't going to admit it to this man, but you are.
Offering him a gentle smile, you nod back towards the direction in which he had been heading just prior. "It's fine, we can go—" you say, stepping forward again with insistence that Jeno do the same, and as the two of you meet side by side once more, you're careful to add one more addition, just for clarity sake.
"—But keep the door open."
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A couple of days later and once the banging drum of headaches and hangovers have worn off, with the friend groups now thoroughly enough enmeshed on account of Renjun's family home and an absolutely unfathomable amount of adult beverages, the next most obvious plan of action is set into motion.
Dinner and bowling.
One thing about this town that you've come to realize is that there is little to do — and especially during the summer time — that doesn't directly involve alcohol and partying. With most restaurants and shops closed until the middle of August at least, the guys are happy enough to inform that there is still one mainstay left that doesn't involve having a terrible time the next morning.
The dinner seating is something that you can't help but take note of: two, long tables pushed together by the wait staff to accommodate such a large party of patrons, with Jeno sat right across the table from you, you notice the way that certain budding couples seem similarly paired off. It's sort of cute, in a way, but you choose not to pay it much mind. Sure, chats with the handsome blonde just along the way serve as a pleasant way to pass the time, and you'd be lying to yourself (and doing a terrible job of it, at that) if you tried to say that you hadn't at least briefly considered where else this could go just for a fun little before the vacation were to come to an end.
Just as the thought comes to its conclusion in your mind, your eyes come up and meet Jeno's over the brim of his beer glass.
That charming-ass eye smile.
Slowly, he brings the glass down while maintaining eye contact, his hand disappears under the table, and you watch his eyes fall to whatever it is that he's doing under there.
Your questions are answered promptly, however, by the vibration of your phone in your jacket pocket.
Jeno [18:12]: interesting seating arrangements we've got here
You try to bite back your smile. Easier said than done, and dealing with his texting antics much simpler when from the comfort of your own bedroom.
Still, you play along and begin typing our your response.
You [18:12]: almost like they're hinting at something
Jeno [18:12]: i'm not too good at signals, need someone to spell it out for me hehe
Glancing back up from your phone, you catch his eyes as he does the same with a knowing grin plastered across his lips.
You [18:13]: you'd have to ask them, i don't know anything about it :p
Jeno [18:13]: okay will do, but speaking of spelling it out...you look amazing tonight
Stilling in your seat at the sudden forwardness of the message, a typing bubble pops up again just as quickly as the previous message is received.
Jeno [18:13]: like really...you looked amazing the other night at the party too. do you always look amazing or is it just when you happen to be seeing me?
Clearing your throat, you shift in your seat just slightly before reaching forward and taking the glass placed in front of you into hand in preparation for a much needed sip of water. You ignore him purposefully, but you can feel the sharp gaze of the man in question as he monitors your every move.
Jeno [18:14]: don't think i didn't notice the way you were looking at me the day we met :0
Unfortunate, but you had been a bit obvious, largely on account of not having expected being faced with seeing this man ever again. You'll have to reel it in better next time.
You glance up again, this time with intention of meeting his eyes — from across the table, Jeno sits with one corner of his lips curved upwards ever so slightly, as if knowing precisely what it is that he's doing. Not surprising, of course, he's not coming onto you now on accident — but he's never been this forward and the only thing you can really chalk it up to now is the dwindling time left on yours and the girls remaining vacation time.
As they say, 'shit or get off the pot.'
But are you interested? Frankly, you're not really sure.
Handsome? Without a doubt. Nice? Sure, seemingly so. Trustworthy? Probably enough to enjoy a night together.
However, you can't help but remain starkly aware of the still gaping whole in your heart where Jaehyun not so long ago resided.
Looking over his features again, Jeno takes another sip of his drink: messy, blonde hair, beautiful eyes, the most charming smile and all accented by that devastatingly stunning mole seated just on his cheek bone.
Yeah, maybe you are, because when you take him in as he sits before you now, just like this, enjoying each and every physically enamoring aspect of a man all the more infatuated with you, as well — you can't help but wonder...
God, how nice is your dick, then?
And just like that, is if everyone in the world having a window of insight into your mind, your phone vibrates again. Naturally, your first thought being another text from Jeno as your eyes remain glued to him, but with every round of vibration that sends through the device it quickly dawns on you that not only has he not dipped his vision back down from you to fire off another round of flirtation, but rather that the disturbance coming through is not a text message at all.
It's a phone call.
Looking down, the number isn't one that you recognize although the location code is. Eyebrows furrowing in thought and vague concern as the screen continues to illuminate in your hand, you feel the gentle tap of a foot under the table and from quite evidently — right in front of you.
Eyes now upwards again, you meet Jeno's concerned ones, but you don't have much time to quell whatever worry he may have before you're up, out of your seat, and heading outside to take the call.
Your first thought is one that sends anxiety through every nerve under your skin: family or friends in emergency, god forbid something terrible having happened, but once you reach the parking lot and are met with the cool breeze of the coast just down the way — when you answer the phone, you come to find yourself no more quelled of fears upon hearing the voice on the other end.
"Hey," the voice says, low and seemingly already defeated. "Sorry, I know you're out of town, I just wanted to talk to you."
Heart beating nearly straight through your chest and hands shaking as you strain to hold your phone to your ear, you stand in silence as your mind races with the how's and why's of what this is and could mean.
After having not received a reply for so long that you don't even notice the amount of time passed, the man on the other end speaks again.
"Hello? Are you there? It's Jaehyun, sorry, I changed numbers."
"Uh, y—yeah, I know who it is, sorry, I'm just—" you pause again to think through your words carefully, as well as garnering yourself more time in an attempt to steady the quake in your voice. "—I wasn't expecting to hear from you."
Chuckling lightly, he carries on, and just before he does you catch a glimpse of the blonde previously seated across from you at the table as he carefully exits the establishment to check on your whereabouts.
"Yeah, I know. Is it a bad time? I think you might agree that we left off on the wrong foot."
Swallowing down the lump in your throat as you quietly acknowledge Jeno's presence, you're not entirely sure where to go from here. The way that your heart thumps strongly at hearing Jaehyun's voice again is one that's hard to ignore, but the way that he broke up with you and only now is contacting you again lies equally as much on your mind.
He doesn't deserve a conversation, and especially not a second chance, but it doesn't change the fact that deep down you want to grant him both.
For better or for worse, however, now isn't a good time.
"I'm out with the girls right now but I can call you tomorrow night, when there's less going on. You know how they are, always have me up to something."
"Sure, you have the number, call me any time," he says with the most calm and nearly adoring of tones. "I miss you, have fun."
"Th—thanks," you answer slowly, and with that, the call ends.
Standing in the middle of the parking lot with Jeno only a few feet away in silence, you suppose that it's probably written all over you the sort of affect that something like this has on you. Despondent and borderline broken after having only so much as heard a few simple words from a man who despite all of his poor treatment of you still holds such a strong place in your heart...
There's no other word for it, simply put, it's pain — and soul-crushingly so.
You can hear he gravel under Jeno's shoes as he slowly approaches you, and there's a small part of you that wishes he just doesn't. Go back inside, stop pretending to care about this or us beyond just wanting a quick fuck, quit playing the nice guy.
But you know you're projecting, and you bite back the venom of your thoughts so that they don't manifest into underserved words.
"You okay?" He sheepishly asks and with concern weighing heavily on his features. You force a half-assed smile in response.
"My ex-boyfriend called," you huff out a laugh. "Broke up with me over text a bit ago, now he wants to talk. Said he misses me."
"And you're gonna tell him to go fuck himself, right?" Jeno says, and much to your surprise. Not used to such a strong response from him in regards to, well, much of anything.
Shrugging, you let out a defeated sigh. "Maybe? No? Probably not."
Silence. Then you glance back towards him.
"I love him."
"Yeah, of course you do, it's fresh," he says delicately, closing the distance between the two of you to take your wrist into one of his hands and carefully usher you back inside. "But that doesn't mean he's deserving of it."
"I know."
A small squeeze of your wrist, as if just to let you know that he's there despite your already being well aware, and looking up towards him as the two of you re-enter the building, Jeno smiles at you widely with teeth and eyes on full display in a way that sort of reminds you to just live in the moment — the here and the now — and to worry about that, whatever that is, later.
"I'm just a guy, I get it," he starts with his face leaned into the side of your head to whisper the words directly into your ear. "But sometimes accidents happen on purpose."
Turning to look at him and meeting so close to his face that it has you just about startled, you roll your eyes and snort at his attempt to bestow aged wisdom upon you in your time of need.
"That doesn't make any sense, is that your idea of giving advice?"
Slinging an arm up and around your shoulders to pull you in tighter against him, he once again brings his face to the side of your own. "Yeah, how'd I do?"
"Terrible."
"Hey, but you laughed, though."
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As it turns out, there are perks to making friends with the guy who works at the waterpark.
That is, beyond his good-looks, pleasing disposition and the fact that he tends to be quite into you, when Jeno invites you and yours back to the waterpark for some free-entry fun, the five of you can't help but take him up on the offer.
Besides, it gives you just that much more reason to have your phone out of sight and subsequently out of mind.
Rather than the typical morning arrival, however, Jeno tells you to come later in the evening on account of things tending to be more quiet. This turns out to be the case and much to all of your delight as the crowds have long since thinned out and lines to rides are much shorter than your last foray at the place of amusement. Still, it's less time to do as much as you all probably would have liked, and as the closing hours quickly approach, you and the girls make your way back to the lockers to not only collect your belongings, but once again meet with the man who brought you all there to begin with.
You come to realize that you're quite fond of how he looks fresh off of a work shift, with tousled hair and a bit of a sun-kissed glow to his skin only amplified by the glisten of water and sunscreen — when Jeno approaches the group you find that while yes, you have seen this man now numerous times before so the way that he looks is of no surprise to you, something about him like this, like right now, is different.
And as usual, when it comes to Jeno, you're the only person in the room.
One strong arm up and against the metal just like the time previously meeting like this, he all but cages you in as he leans casually against it to speak to you. "I've got to stay a bit late to do some minor maintenance in the backend, want to stay with me and we can go out afterwards or do you have somewhere to be with your friends?"
It's a lovely offer, and the idea of seeing a waterpark long past closing is an enticing one just for the thrill of it, but you're not one to pass up on dinner with the girls that brought you here for an after hours slide ride.
"We were actually about to head out to dinner, text me when you're out though and maybe we all can—"
"No. Way!"
The shrill voice comes from Ningning this time, and a bit to your surprise as it's typically either Karina or Winter with something loud and boisterous to say. Regardless, the woman comes up quickly from behind Jeno with arms crossed fiercely as if personally slighted by your unwillingness to ditch her.
"Dinner at the lil' diner down the block can wait, when the hot lifeguard asks you to stay after closing, you stay after closing."
"Ningning..." you bemoan first, only to look up at Jeno who is far too busy feigning a lack of listening in to the situation playing out right in front of him.
"Stay," she insists again, slinging a t-shirt up and over her shoulder before slowly sauntering away as if having won the war that she, herself, started. "We'll see you later—"
And just before disappearing entirely with the other women, she turns back once more with just another thing to add.
"—If you come home tonight, that is."
Jeno's work in the the back where some of the machinery is kept is quick and for that you are thankful on account of it being mind-numbingly boring watching him do anything at all that he is meant to do there. The flex of the muscles in his arms and back growing bland far sooner than you might have anticipated, you're happy to hear only twenty or so minutes in that he's finished and the two of you can carry on with your tour of the premises now that there is no one else there but the both of you.
As you walk, he tells you fun stories of silly happenings since his three years of working there has begun: tales of lost belongings on slides and peoples swim bottoms being stolen by the waves of the pools that artificially craft them, the two of you laugh into the calm, night air as you circle back around to the large river that spans nearly the entire lot of the waterpark — calm and meant mostly for simply lounging about in the sun, Jeno sits at one of the small tables offered just at the side and motions for you to sit just beside him, as well.
Still in nothing more than your swimsuit and a towel, it feels oddly comfortable. In fact, despite your checking, you haven't caught the man eyeing you down at all — not that that leads you into a false sense of believing that he simply hasn't, because frankly, you know better than that.
But at least he's willing to reign it in in the event that you could see him in the act.
And on top of that, you've been stealing glances yourself, anyway.
"Things good?" He asks, and it feels so abrupt given the timing. You know what he's referring to with eyes honed in on any possible change of your expression, but you attempt to maintain composure whilst under the proverbial microscope of his view.
"Yeah," you sigh, leaning back into your chair casually. "Everything is good. Sort of not looking forward to leaving next week."
Jeno smiles at the words. "Yeah, this town is fun, but only on vacation. I think you'd find if you lived here all year around you'd miss it back where you're from."
"Yeah, maybe."
"Just gonna have to make sure you get the best this place has to offer then," he says with a groan as he brings himself back up and to his feet. Hand extended out towards you with an offering to help you stand, you stare at him blankly for a few moments before slowly taking it and allowing yourself to be hoisted upwards. "Shall we take a swim, then?"
"Are we allowed—"
The thought suddenly cut off by the sight of Jeno reaching down and pulling off his loose, white tank top shirt. And sure, it's loose enough that you've more or less caught a glimpse of everything under there already, but not like this, not on full display.
"No, absolutely not," he laughs as he chucks it into the chair he was only just sat in. "But no one checks the cameras anyway and they already know I'm here after hours as it is so it's not going to ring any alarm bells that there's movement on site. Is that a yes?"
You pause. You need the moment to think this through, not that you even really want to. Deep down, you sort of know what this means, at least to the most basic extent, and sure — you can decline anything at any time and you're pretty certain he'll take it in stride — but still, saying yes to this is effectively saying yes to something.
"Yeah, let's take a swim."
The water feels colder now without the sun beating down on it but you come to find that the trade off is the way that the overhead lights as well as the submerged ones illuminate the water in such a beautiful way that everything glitters all around you. Following Jeno's lead as you both wade through and into one of the man-made rock sculpture caves that under typical servicing hours, lend much needed reprieve from the sunlight — now instead you feel a bit something like a character in a fantasy film: a mermaid coming back to her home as the wetness of the ocean glistens off of the barely lit walls of the faux-rock now surrounding you in hideaway.
Realistically, the scene is nothing special, but right now and with present company, your feeling of being locked away and hidden from any potential prying eyes feels especially heavy knowing precisely the thoughts that have weighed on both of your minds ever since they very first meeting here.
As silence falls between the two of you and you comfortably place yourself with your back against the smooth offering of rocks, you use it as a moment to take in the sight of him while he's not paying attention: shirtless and with flesh on full display, Jeno brings a hand up and out of the water to push his hair back and out of his face before catching hint of the fact that he has an audience, after all.
Then, he slowly closes the distance between the two of you, and with the tiniest grin of understanding perking at the corners of his lips, you suppose that there's a part of you that sort of always resigned yourself to this.
And really, what's summer vacation if not for having a summer fling?
One hand planted against the firm offering of rock on either side of you, caged in but feeling neither scared nor small on account of it, Jeno brings himself close enough to you that you have little more option that to struggle with your footing at the bottom of the pool and allow him the gentle insistence of settling between your legs.
Slowly, he dips his head down and towards you, but you pause the moment to speak in a whisper.
"You brought me here to do this, didn't you?"
To that, he only smiles again before continuing with the movement. "You came knowing that."
A gentle first kiss, perhaps much more so than you would have anticipated; rather than coming in hot and heavy from the start, the true feeling of being with and near him instead comes from the way his chest presses you tightly into place as his mouth slots firmly against your own. It's a little breathtaking, and somewhat overwhelming having been caged in like this by him, but with every forward movement of his lips and tongue against your own you can't help but feel as though the breath being pulled straight from your lungs, and with intent, at that.
The first, testing grind of his hips against you has you gasping into his mouth, and the sinister curl of his lips tells you that he couldn't be more pleased by the reaction.
One, strong hand dropping down from the rocks behind you and instead holding firm at your thigh from the underside, Jeno holds your leg up and out just enough to maintain the open space so that he has precisely the access that he desires like this, and with another slow, deliberate grind of what you know to be the solid length of himself beneath much too thin swim trunks, you can't help the way that your head lolls backwards and just about slaps into the solid structure behind you.
Pulling from your mouth as if to allow you the ability to breath, warm lips trail down your jaw line and back around to your ear, but rather than speaking anything in particular, the man simply allows you to listen to the quiet moans and exhales that drop from his lips as a result of the friction forming between the both of your bodies.
With every simulated drive of himself into you comes a breathy, needy sound fallen from his mouth. On top of that, with just the right angle, paired with just the right amount of speed and force behind his hips...
Surely you won't cum like this?
But with how heavenly he sounds against your ear and the tensing in your thighs and abdomen, you pull your bottom lip up between your teeth hard with eyes clenched shut as if not wanting to make it so evident just the effect he's having on you like this. Squirming within his grasp, and your orgasm feeling just on the cusp but ever so slightly out of your hands, you huff out with frustration and throw all caution to the wind in a desperate whirlwind of pleading events.
"Please, God, I want you," you whine against his ear. "Want to feel you."
It's a terrible idea and you know that, for a plethora of reasons. However, you're horny and on the edge of cumming and cannot possibly be concerned with any of them. You've been good enough up until now pretending to have little to no interest in his cock at all, but enough is enough, especially as it glides against you rock hard and barely clothed between your bodies.
Jeno, for better or for worse, has other plans.
"Want that too," he whispers against your ear, the hot puffs of his breath washing over the otherwise warm, wet smooth of your skin. Unfortunately, instead of freeing himself from the very same confines that plague you, he merely picks up the pace of his hips against yours.
As well as aiding with a slight shift of the angle at which he grinds against you.
Turns out, that'll do the trick.
Orgasm fast approaching now as he repeatedly presses his hips against the apex of your thighs, he continues with the original train of thought. "You ever been fucked in a body of water like this? Doesn't make for great lubrication, unfortunately—"
You can't be bothered to pay all that much attention to the science lesson, and with your hands gripping into his back and biceps as he continues hard and fast against you, you feel the distinct feeling of his teeth dragging down ever so slightly against the column of your neck in such a way that it has your head spinning and toes curling with how close to the edge you are like this.
Not for long, though, as he finishes the thought entirely. "—Want that glide to be so fucking smooth."
Frankly, you're not used to hearing him curse all that much, so when he does it's especially meaningful, so when he shoots down your begging for him to fuck you instead because he has far more delightful plans for you in the future and under more optimal circumstances, you couldn't bite back the shriek if you had tried as your orgasm tears through you with so much force that you swear you may crack a tooth with how tightly your teeth are clenched through it.
And like a good boy, Jeno 'fucks' you through it as every shockwave of release jolts through your body and your clit begs to be untouched. Releasing the grip on you, he pulls his face back around to look you in the eyes with an all-too-proud grin plastered across his lips — though, you don't get much of a chance to fight him on it as those very same ones quickly meet yours just as adoringly as the first time.
When he pulls back, he's still smiling — odd behavior for the un-orgasmed half of the equation, you think, but before speaking, the man brings a hand up to your forehead to delicately wipe away a handful of stray hairs that found their way there in all of the debauchery.
Eyes meeting, you can tell he has something to say, and that you're probably not going to like it.
"You wanted me to fuck you, and raw at that."
"Oh come on!" You groan in playful embarrassment, pushing him away from you with desperate splashes of water left in your wake as you escape. Jeno only laughs as he trails behind lazily.
"You did," he reaffirms with a teasing chuckle. "You so did."
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The following days come to pass far quicker than you had anticipated, you're soon to find.
With every day, every moment now seemingly enmeshed between the groups of friends, time with Jeno is more common than time away — no one hears about the goings on at the waterpark, at least, not on your end (and you have reason to believe that he hasn't said anything either on account of the fact that Jaemin would never shut up about it if he had) — but there's evidence enough in the distinct change of something between the two of you as the brief, casual brushing of hands slowly transforms into open and public slotting together of fingers during movie nights and not-so-concealed presses of kisses to the temple of your head at any time that Jeno seems to be able to close the distance between your bodies.
It's nice, and you can admit as much to yourself without fear or worry. The problem lies in the fact that therein resides so much more than it simply being nice now, and in fact, you're somehow managed to stumble yourself precisely in the line of fire of what it is you had sort of been hoping to avoid this entire time.
Granted, it's not necessarily worth a conversation on account of logistics and the more or less of what this is, but still, even with it only having been two weeks since you've met this guy, he reads a bit like an open book, and if there's one thing you're fairly certain you have down about him and the way his mind works, it's that he wants to have that talk, regardless of the realistic outcome.
Really, it's the least you can do on account of the whirlwind, summer romance you've happily found yourself wound up in, in spite of everything.
On the last night before you and yours leave to go back into the city, the blowout house party is at home; Ningning's summer house. An excellent decision on account of the fact that the five of you can pack up early the day before and simply wake up to leave the next day with little more to worry about than some final touches and your hangovers as a result.
Though, leaving the next day is far from what you currently wish to be attending much thought to.
With folding chairs strewn about around some of the tables in the back yard, as well as the barbecue that's fired up and attended to by Renjun, Mark and Giselle; with a red, plastic cup in hand as you sit facing out towards the crashing waves of the beach, you can't help but allow your gaze to fall to the side and onto the object of your desire that was never really supposed to end up as much more than simply the hot guy that worked at the waterpark.
Instead, you watch him as he engages in a conversation with Winter — a playful argument about which dog breeds are cutest — and it's times like this that you make a conscious effort to take mental snapshots of this moment, right here, right now. Making sure that you never forget this feeling, never forget what it was like to live in this time with the guy who sports such quintessential summer hair and reminds you of what it feels like to feel young once more, and forever.
Eyes curved into perfect, crescent shapes and a matching perfect smile as he laughs along to whatever it is that your friend is saying, suppose he must feel the heavy weight of eyes upon him as he shifts to grant you his attention once more.
There's a few seconds of silence, but you watch the way his face melts from one of joyous laughter to something that's more akin to fond adoration.
"Want to go talk?"
Jeno doesn't look all that surprised when you say the words, and instead offers you the gentlest of smiles, as if already anticipating as much, anyway.
"Sure, let's talk."
It's colder the closer the two of you get to the waves of the water, the sound of them crashing lightly against the muddy sands that lie beneath — with the sun just about set already and hues of orange with purple only barely peeking out from above the costal line — with legs dangled over the side of the small, wooden pier, Jeno slings an arm up and over your shoulders to tug you closer against himself, partially for the warmth and combatting the breeze, but really, just because he wants to have you there.
"Have fun?" He finally asks, you nod against him.
"I've kind of fallen for you a bit, ya know that?"
To this admission, Jeno reels so hard that it has you looking up at him — he looks far more shocked than you would have anticipated going into this because...obviously? And as a result, you snort out a laugh. "What? Isn't it obvious?"
"I mean—I'm just...surprised, I guess?" He admits awkwardly before settling back into place. "We're having fun and I was trying so damn hard, but I didn't think it actually worked."
"You're kinda oblivious, yeah?"
Jeno laughs. "I've heard that before, yeah."
With the words now out in the open, you allow there to be some silence between the two of you — something of a ruminating of what this is and what that means between the two of you right now, with no real need to add anything more to it in immediate time.
Instead, the two of you look out towards the water — still painted with pinks and purples as the sun sets over it for its final few minutes before nightfall.
You inhale to speak, though you're not thrilled about it despite its necessity.
"We can't...keep this going, you know," you say first, choosing words carefully as you carry out the thought. "It was fun but you know...back to real life, back to home."
Glancing up to gauge his response, Jeno only smiles as the words for a few, passing seconds before looking down at you and responding.
"Yeah, I know."
Through more silence, you think that you can feel it in his chest the way his heart beats in such a way that the sadness of the circumstances is evident. An unfortunate reality of such things: sometimes it really is wrong place, wrong time, wrong location, wrong...everything but you.
Standing again and heading back inside with fingers interlocked, you can't help but think of how the thing they never tell you about short term relationships is that they can be just as meaningful, just as impactful as long term ones. There's nothing inherently lesser, or worse, or meaningless about them — a snapshot in time where everything between you and someone else was perfect and incapable of being tarnished, at that — really, it's an ideal circumstance, especially as someone with a desire to rekindle hope in the concept of loving and being loved.
Just because a relationship ends, doesn't mean it lacks value.
And when you go back home, you'll take Jeno with you: perfect hair, perfect smile, and adorably unaware disposition all packaged up as a reminder of how good it can be to simply be.
Getting back inside, after enjoying the inviting sights and sounds of the quiet outdoors, the unrelenting boom of loud music and yelling friends pierces your ears in such a way that you can't help but attempt to curl in on yourself and escape from it. Jeno takes notice with a squeeze of your hand upon arriving to the kitchen, quickly pouring drinks for each of you and then dipping down next to your ear.
"Want to go upstairs where it's quieter?"
Yeah, of course you do. Still one last thing on the agenda for this trip, after all.
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Discarding nearly full cups and making your way up the stairs; through the hallway that's all too familiar to you by now, you can't help but call back to the last time you'd done this very same walk, with this very same man: a few key differences now compared to then that are worth taking note of, however. For one, Jeno's grip on your hand as he leads you up despite not even being entirely sure which room it is that you'd once called yours is, and two, you now find yourself far more open to any potential scenarios that may arise.
In fact, you're hoping that they do.
Swapping places and taking the lead, Jeno follows just behind you as you open the door to your bedroom — stepping inside where all of your packed bags and other such belongings not yet able to be stuffed away until the very last moment lie about on countertops or draped over chair backs — when the two of you step inside, you realize that there's a part of you that has sort of already come to this conclusion a long time ago. It's difficult to pinpoint the exact moment, and likely well enough before the late evening spent alone with him at his place of employment, rather, your memory lands at that time in the parking lot, when your ex called, and Jeno was right there to pick up the proverbial pieces of you.
It wasn't much, just that he was there. Sometimes that's enough.
Turning back to face him, it's a quick movement and so much so that the surprise of it is evident on his face with wide eyes and a late response to the feeling of your lips on his, but more than that, the sound of the door shutting behind his back and locking into place by no ones insistence but your own.
He's quick enough on the uptake, however; hands coming up to slot gently on either side of your face to pull you just that much more into the kiss — and with the length of your body pressed just as hard against him as he stands pinned between you and hard wood, the close proximity is just so giving in how you're able to catch every hitch of his breath in his throat and forced back groan in his chest.
You pull back, and with a wickedly playful grin across your face. "You've been waiting?"
To that, Jeno scoffs before bringing hands down to your shoulders and gently pushing you to step backwards towards the bed. "Only as long as you have."
The removal of clothing is quick but never quick enough despite the flurry of fabric strewn about the floor through the incessant need to kiss and be kissed by him. Rather, the two of you only part from one another if it's required to discard something that now, more than ever, is no longer desired.
The irony, of course, is in the fact that the both of you have already seen so much of what there is to be seen. Swimsuits only leaving so much to the imagination, as is the same for the pool boys usual choice of lazy attire — you come to find that when presented differently, the absence of clothing and the emergence of skin that you think you've already grown used to couldn't be further from the case. It looks different, feels different — the smooth palm of your hands sliding over arm muscles that you've already felt so many times before as his teeth catch at the bottom of your lip in a kiss that only becomes that much more heated with every passing second — the man that you've known all of the way up until now still might just have so much more still to show you.
At least, that was your impression from the waterpark festivities that evening.
Creating space between your bodies only long enough to plop yourself back and onto the mattress, Jeno wastes no time in following you as he slots himself between your legs and once again kisses you as if never able to have enough of it. One hand pressed into the mattress beside your head, the other trails down the length of your form to settle right between your legs — and now, with no barriers between you and him but his own undergarments — just one, casual dip of his middle finger shallowly between your folds is enough to have your breath hitching differently against his lips.
He grins at the reaction, but says nothing.
Instead, he dips his head down leaving a trail of kisses and nips of his teeth into the flesh of your neck, shifting his positioning back and just enough to be able to mouth over one of your nipples with a firm, swirl of his tongue. It's nice, but nothing special — at least, not before the same pad of his finger between your legs finds such light but evident purchase against your clit.
Slow, careful circles rubbed against you, back arching ever so slightly off the bed and up against his mouth as he continues teasing licks against your flesh, it's a certain kind of torment feeling so much and not enough all at once, and you can't help but consider one fact: he knows it.
You're not one to beg (well, other than that one time), and you're certainly not going to be undone so easily by a guy that for all intents and purposes you barely even know, and biting back a groan, you tightly knit your eyes shut in hopes that perhaps he's not torturing you on purpose — dragging this out because you both know it's the first and last time you'll ever get to have it — and surely he'll make quick work of you soon enough.
But the slow, down and inward press of the same finger towards your opening, only to replace the empty spot with his thumb has you thinking otherwise.
Jeno barely penetrates you with the single tip of his digit — if he does, it's so shallow that you can barely even feel it — a crime in and of itself, but amplified by the fact that you're racing towards the point of no return in what it is that you want, and if he insists on teasing you with the opportunity of being filled by him, then little does he know that he's stumbled upon the grandest of unravelings of you.
A heavy exhale, you decide you have to look down to take it all in, and especially if you're going to have a chance at saying words at any point in time. As you crack an eye open, Jeno switches breast to take your other nub between warm, wet lips — and it's then that he digs a finger into you just a bit deeper than before and all the while maintaining attention to the aching bundle of nerves held captive beneath his thumb.
Now you're frustrated, and you're not sure you can hold evidence of that back much longer.
With another heavy exhale, you attempt to bear down your hips against his hand to feel more of him, but to that, Jeno looks up to meet eyes with you wearing a look that almost tells of disapproval.
"In a hurry?"
You groan, not entirely sure if at the words or the implications behind them.
He wants to take his time.
"No, just—" you all but whimper, head thrown back against the pillow beneath it once again as if resigned to simply being along for the ride with this man. "—Kind of killing me, here."
"Why?" He questions with lips still feathering against the skin of your chest.
Then, the finger far too casually settled at your opening is slowly driven in to the last knuckle, and it feels fucking electric.
"This what you want?"
For someone who has always had a low tone of voice, you're not sure where the next few levels in drop have come from, same going for the erotic gravel that courses through his throat with every word he says against you. Either way, that in combination with the full length of his middle finger buried in your cunt already has you wondering just how it is that you're going to get through this particular night.
Guys like this are supposed to kiss you, get a blowie, maybe give you the sloppiest oral sex you've ever had (but hey, at least the effort is there), and then fuck you into the mattress for a full, mind blowing three minutes before rolling onto their backs and passing out.
So, what the fuck is this?
"Yes," you resign yourself to answering, because presumably you won't receive much else if not for your going along with it. Squirming against his hand again, you feel him pull from you ever so slightly before once again burying the hand deep against you.
Jeno hums before speaking again. "I don't think it is, but I think you're willing to settle for now."
Oh, he's so annoying when knuckle deep in pussy.
It's then that he pulls himself up and into a knelt position between your legs: not removing his hand from your pussy, but instead, bringing the other one — now freed — to the same position.
The new thumb coming down to collect the slick collecting around his finger, he brings it to your clit to focus one hand entirely on that motion, and now leaving the other to focus entirely on the place where he enters you. Now, however, with far more range of movement and ease of angle, Jeno settles into a smooth, rhythmic flick of his wrist to once again simulate fucking you the way that you really want him to.
Everything but what you actually want, and it's driving you fucking insane.
It's almost perfect, though, and that you find irritating in and of itself. Glancing up at him, Jeno's attention is spent mostly on watching you and your face, only occasionally allowing his eyes to drop down to take in the sight of the absolute mess he's making of you now.
He adds a second finger, and with it, a slightly faster rhythm.
Still trying not to sound entirely defeated and fucked out, in the absence of your moans, instead the room fills with the familiar, wet sounds of the work that he's doing on you — and upon the realization, you might have to just moan, it's less humiliating than this.
A certain curl of his fingers, however, and you don't have to weigh the pros and cons any longer as the sound is ripped from your throat whether you like it or not.
"Oh," he whispers in the event of it, as if pleased by his sudden findings. "You liked that one."
"Sh—Shut up," you barely manage out in reply before another groan falls from you, and while you're frustrated and horny, you muster up the desire you begin making requests. "Faster," you whine out, hips grinding down against his hand in hopes for more friction against your clit.
"Demanding," Jeno coos in response, though not heeding it whatsoever and much to your displeasure. Instead, you feel another shift in the mattress from his movement, and despite being somewhat terrified of the next thing that this guy could have up his sleeve for you, you look down towards him...
Only to find him settling face first with your pussy, and two fingers carefully finding their way back inside of you.
"You're lucky I'm kind of a pushover," he says with a small chuckle, and punctuating it with a long, firm lick through the slit of your pussy that has your entire body trembling with promise. "You want to cum, then I'll make you cum."
There's not much to say to that, and not that you'd be able to on account of his lips quickly attaching themselves around the very spot that craves the attention. Less than that is the amount of time that you have to think over the fact that you're not going to be able to hold out very long due to him toying with you up until this moment, either. You consider that there's always a bit of ego involves in situations such as this — not wanting to appear too eager, too interested, but you suppose it's long past that point now, anyway.
With fingers dug deep inside of you and the expertly pointed grind of his tongue against your clit — relentlessly quick and just like you'd asked of his hand only moments prior, he's definitely trying to make you cum, and he most certainly is going to get his reward, as well.
Bottom lip pulled tightly between your teeth as every muscle in your lower body tenses for the impending release; one hand gripped into the sheets just below and the other coming up to find purchase in the bleached blonde hair that you've grown so fond of after such a short time — you're not able to say much as it feels as though every breath is being sucked out of you by the man as he teeters you on the edge one last time before pushing you over it — instead, you're somewhat displeased by how easy it is to say his name in little more than an airy chant; over, and over, and over again as he finally topples you over into orgasmic release and with a rush hitting so hard and so fast that any sound that once would have escaped from you is instead replaced with a silent shriek of nothingness as a result of your dry, spent throat.
You need a moment before anything else happens — many moments, in fact — of heavy breaths and a heaving chest as you attempt to collect yourself in the aftermath of it all, and there's a split second where the thought crosses your mind that if this was all that would amount from your night together with him, that might actually be good enough.
Still plenty of time left in the evening, however.
Finally, you pull in a full breath of fresh air before looking back down towards Jeno: face cradled in one hand and gazing at you with nothing but proud adoration in his eyes, you're annoyed but not enough to ignore the disheveled mess of hair atop his head, as well as the wet glisten of you that's still happily sported along his chin.
"Good?"
He's so annoying.
You roll your eyes. "Yes, you like being praised or something?"
"Doesn't everyone?" He playfully responds, once again dragging a finger through the prominent wetness of your folds. "Look how wet you are, so good for me."
You know he's toying with you, not meaning anything in particular by it, but you're not proud of how evidently correct he is, either. Regardless, he changes the subject fairly quickly beyond it.
"Are you down and out for the night already?" Jeno chuckles, pulling himself up and into a kneeling position once again and if anticipating the fact that you'll tell him you're not.
It's only then that you finally get a real, good look at the lining of what lies hidden beneath the last remaining black garment on him.
Not done, not even close.
Sitting up only long enough to grab an arm and pull him back down with you, Jeno catches himself with both palms splayed out on the mattress as you pull him into a kiss once again. This time is different, however. Beyond the taste of yourself so evident on his mouth, he kisses you in a way that's far needier, less held back than all of the other times before. Always wanted you, and probably painfully so, but not enough to ever put that above anything else at hand.
But, suppose it's his turn now.
Hand dipping down between both of your bodies and wasting no time slipping into the black fabric to feel him, your fingers wrap around the smooth flesh of his cock in such a way that already has him sighing into your mouth — it's sort of addicting, the way he sounds and feels and looks like this, at the mercy of you and only ever really wanting you since the moment he laid eyes — in ways, it's a job well done, and now he shall receive his prize.
Though, you're not even really sure which one of you is winning, now.
It's difficult to get a feel for metrics just by touch — but thick and plenty long enough come to mind in a way that's far too dizzying to spend too much time thinking about. You give him a few lazy tugs before Jeno pulls up and away from you entirely to hang over the edge of the bed and fish out the most obvious thing from his pants pocket.
"Came prepared," you casually comment, and when he comes back up with the package in hand, he only sighs in relief.
"Not a chance I was going to fuck this up by not thinking ahead," Jeno responds firstly, finally shuffling the fabric at his hips down and revealing the full sight of himself to you. "Though, you'd let me hit without it anyway, I guess."
"Oh my God!" You whine in embarrassment, reaching up to playfully slap his arm as he rolls the condom along himself. "Moment of weakness, I would have come to my senses."
Settling back down lengthwise against your body, Jeno kisses you hard once more as you feel the distinct wrapping around your thigh of an arm that intends to have you fully splayed open for him. Once finished there, the same hand comes between you — dragging the wide, length of his cock through your wetness before even attempting to push inside.
It's similarly torturous to before, however, and your squirming beneath his body is evidence of it enough.
Forearm holding his body weight, Jeno shifts his hand upwards so that he can touch your face as he continues to bring you to madness — soft kisses peppering not only your lips but your jaw, cheeks, and even falling down onto your neck — you can't tell if he's doing it purposefully in hopes that you'll beg, or if he truly has no idea just what it is that he's doing.
You believe it to be the former, though.
Regardless, he's a man worn thin of patience himself, and your requests are not needed to feel the incredibly present stretch of him entering you.
Embarrassingly slick for him and well prepared, you're reminded of the comment he made back the last time you two shared a moment such as this — how he wanted it to be different, right, in some ways, and as the feeling of him pushing to fill you to the brim brings you to nearly dizzying new heights — with fingers gripped into the skin of his back and shoulders and teeth gritted, you can kind of see why.
You don't want to say his cock is perfect, but it's pretty fucking good.
Once fully seated inside of you, Jeno brings that hand back to your thigh to pull it wide and away. Rather than moving right away, he allows you some time to get used to him — no stranger to a big dick, but a wide one certainly tends to take a second each and every time. In the meantime; lips trailing down your neck, sucking and biting into the skin as you try to bite back the whimpers that threaten you already — unfortunately, you're soon to find this man to be no such help in you maintaining your composure.
Stray fingers curled into your hair — not to pull or cause pain, nothing more than simply holding you there — you become starkly aware of how consumed you are by him now, and with hot breath cascading across your ear and cheeks, you're once again faced with that same low, gravely tone of voice from earlier that had you coming nearly undone in the palm of his hand.
"How do you like it?"
Barely coherent enough to register the question, you feel the shiver the words send down your body as a result of it, all the same — as if somewhere in your subconscious well aware of the implications long before your present and aware mind capable.
Before you can answer, however, his voice drops lower and down into a whisper against the shell of your ear. "How do you want me to fuck you?"
Another chill, and with it paired with one shallow drive of himself against you.
"Been dying to feel you cum around my cock, so please," he says, and this time with desperate emphasis coloring the plea at the end.
"Tell me how you want to be fucked."
The shivers subsequently pooling right between your legs and at the very spot where Jeno enters you — you know well enough that he can feel the way your cunt clenches down hard around the thick of him with every pointed, filthy word that drops from his lips. More than that, however, is the way your fingernails dig that much harder into his flesh at the promise of finally receiving precisely what it is that you want from him.
To be fucked stupid, and borderline incoherent.
He doesn't wait for an answer from you before beginning a calm, steady rhythm against you, though. Smart enough to know that regardless of your answer, you both do require friction from this sort of engagement — rather, just like the time before it's the particular way his breath hitches and he softly groans into your ear with every tight, wet hug of your pussy against his thrusts that is quite possibly doing you in more than the actual action itself is.
No matter, though, because your mind is made up.
"Harder," you whimper out for him with hips pushing up to meet his actions. "Fuck me harder, deeper—"
His next drive into you has your entire body moving up the length of the bed, as well as any further words or thoughts lost somewhere in the mix between.
The next shift in positioning is quick, so much so that it has your head spinning ever so slightly as you feel him bring his torso off of your own to prop himself up and over you once more — it's better leverage for harder thrusts, and even more is the capturing of one of your stray wrists in hand just before settling himself in place. Effectively pinned beneath him, there's a brief moment where he stills — flashes you a look to check in and make sure you're not displeased with the new development, because there's always a bit of growing pains in an attempt to take the lead, be sexy, and more than that, not overstep any boundaries.
But really, you know he just wants to do whatever it takes to make you cum as hard as possible, and it's a commendable effort, that much is for sure.
Two, three hard drives into you with your wrist pinned just next to your head and you're all but crying out for him. Figure, that's probably motivation enough.
Jeno continues to fuck you hard, but not especially fast as every drive of his length into you is deliberate, pointed, and angled perfectly to find and continue to rub against that particular spot that has you tensing and shaking beneath him. Watching him from this angle above you; muscles firm and flexed with every calculated thrust, mouth only slightly hung ajar as eyes that now remain nearly glued to the place that the thickness of his cock disappears inside of you with slickened ease — it's hard to imagine that you ever considered not allowing yourself this moment in time, because God, he's going to get precisely what he set out for.
Glancing up from that place, Jeno's eyes meet your own before clenching shut tightly to take in the feeling of you. "Fuck, you feel so fucking good."
He was right, the praise thing is pretty fucking excellent. Might as well pay it back.
Bearing down to meet one of his thrusts, you whine out for him in response. "Feel so good," you start before another hard pound of his hips against your own interrupts the thought. "F—Feel so big."
With that, you feel his hips falter ever so slightly, paired with a light chuckle falling from his lips.
"Don't say that," he says in a laugh. "Talk about how big it is and I'll cum in two second flat."
This knowledge piques your interest, hand that remains unpinned coming up to lightly cradle his face. "That's what does it for you, huh? Like hearing about how big your cock is? How full I feel when—"
"I'm serious!" Jeno then gasps suddenly, stilling his motions between your legs altogether and laughing all the while. "I'm not joking, I will cum right now if you keep it up, no one wants that."
You laugh to match him. "Okay, okay! I didn't realize it was that bad..."
Dipping down again, Jeno kisses you hard and firm on the mouth before pulling back up and delivering a single, hard drive of himself into you. "It's bad, and if I cum before you do I'm going to put my fucking head in the blender, so may I?"
"By all means."
It's out of scene and not a particularly sexy conversation, but it is one that reminds you of all of the things that you seem to adore about the man. Someone who can be everything and at a moments notice: caring, funny, sexy, good in bed, bad in bed should the moment fit — it serves as all the more reason that you're thankful for your making of the decision to go through with this, after all. Not just for the sex, because sex can be found anywhere — but rather, because of this particular moment right here and now, shared with this particular man.
And that, you can't find just anywhere.
Jeno wastes no time settling back into things as he fucks into you hard once again, but also faster than previously. There's something about the new angle that he's settled himself in — a perfect lean of his torso over yours that has the shaft of his cock rubbing perfectly against your clit in such a way that has your body tensing and nerves firing with each and every thrust of himself into your cunt. This time, over the sounds of wet and skin meeting, instead it's you that's heard in particular over everything else — with no way or ability to bring yourself back down from the impending doom of the orgasm that's now threatening to rip through you at a moments notice.
Of course, Jeno notices, and probably feels as much with how tightly wrapped around his cock you are — and if he's close to cumming himself, you can't tell through his composure as his steady hips never once falter through the loud whines and whimpers that fall from you on account of him.
"Close?" He asks, well aware of the way you fall apart beneath him and with no other interest than you get you precisely there.
You nod quickly. "Harder, harder, fuck—"
And you don't have to ask twice as Jeno once again settles into a different position — unpinning your wrist and instead bringing both of his large, strong hands down to clasp onto the dip of your hips for leverage — instead now he holds the ability to not only fuck up into you, but also pull you down onto his cock, and in even quicker, harder succession.
You sort of wish you could have enjoyed the feeling of him like this just a bit more — the full, thick pull of his cock against your walls with every fluid drag of himself against you — but instead, Jeno is only granted a handful more drives of himself into you like this before you're crying out and cumming hard around him in electric pulses and waves of clenches down around his length.
Reduced to nearly whining, Jeno doesn't stop his relentless force into you in chase of his own release now that his job here is done, and rather, you're not quite satisfied with the impending end of this scenario just yet, either.
"Cum, baby," you whisper out to him, and you're certain that you can see the way the pet name all but deep fries his brain in real time with the clench of his facial features upon hearing it. "Want you to cum on me, wanna see it."
Another shockwave to an already far too aroused mans brain, he attempts to shake it off long enough to focus back on the task at hand but shortly thereafter realizes that there isn't much left to focus on. Four or five more hard thrusts into your cunt, Jeno quickly withdraws from you — peeling the condom from his glistening wet length and swiftly palming over himself in quick succession to bring himself the rest of the way there over your messy, exposed pussy and stomach.
But really, you just want to watch him stroke it.
A beautiful sight: a man desperate and on the verge of orgasm, fast at hand to bring himself over the edge, the muscles in Jeno's abdomen tense as he teeters on the edge of release for your viewing pleasure, and as his breaths begin to hitch in his throat only to be replaced by short, pained whimpers, you deliver the killing blow for him.
"So big, cum for me baby—"
Granted, you hadn't planned much of a script in your head past that point, but it would go unneeded anyway as you watch Jeno's fist stutter to a halt halfway down the shaft of his cock before emptying his load atop the already messy pool of wetness gathered at your spread open folds.
And perhaps nothing better than the loud, anguished groan of his release as he slowly finishes stroking himself over your cunt and to completion.
Kinda defeats the purpose of condoms but the two of you will have to take that up with the health clinic another day.
Slumping down and onto his back next to you, both with quickly rising and falling chests in an attempt to breath air that brings something other than the scent of sex, Jeno is the first to lean into you to press a kiss to your temple, just like so many times before.
"Good?" He asks.
You hum coyly before shrugging. "It'll do, I guess."
"Nice, that's what I am for. Have all the ladies in town like 'eh, it was this or reruns of Friends."
Smiling, you inhale deeply with thoughts of this. All of this, and just how nice it is. You wonder briefly if this is a life you could see yourself getting used to — being had and held by the man lying next to you — before the stark reminder of it not even so much as being an option settles in once more.
Short term relationships are valid, and giving — and you couldn't possibly end this one off on a better note.
Take it for what it is.
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Waking together in the morning is as nice as the night before, albeit far less involved. Even through the entanglements of limbs and an incredibly pointed lack of clothing on either of you, you're the first to stir with Jeno still lying beside you, although quickly met by the man to have gentle pecks and other such trinkets of adoration bestowed upon you in what is now your final couple of hours left together.
In the shower, there's a moment that you think maybe it can be done after all, and as Jeno stands with toothbrush in hand and mouth full, when you dip your head out to make a mention of the prospect to him, once your eyes meet you can't help but cower back behind the stained glass from which you had come.
Don't ruin this, just let it be.
With bags lazily packed and messily stuffed into the car, the friend groups say their goodbyes at around noon, and with the way that some of them go, you think that you and Jeno far from the only two who consummate their relationship on the final night.
It's sort of sad, in a way, but you suppose you're glad you're not alone in feeling this way.
Turning to face Jeno one, final time — eye smile and freckle that you've grown so fond of — his hands come up to cradle the sides of your face before pulling you into a tender kiss for the final time, his eyes never leaving yours in the pull back even for a second.
Hands dropping to pinky fingers on each hand interlocked as you begin to make your way to the vehicle, you're thankful at least that Jeno have the ability to maintain a strong facade in the aftermath of all of this because frankly, you're not so sure how well you're going to fair once it's all said and done.
There's a pause with arms extended as you open the car door, the link between you and him now stretched nearly as far as it can be held by a mere two fingers — all the while, his gaze never falls from you.
And neither does his smile.
"Safe drive."
Two unreasonably gut-wrenching words.
"We will."
And just like that, you're off.
Arm propped up on the side of the door, the inside of the car is dead silent. You know why. Everyone knows why. No one really wants to talk about it.
Then, your phone buzzes.
Digging it from your bag, you're not entirely sure what to expect, though you're hoping not to find one thing in particular. Instead, you're pleasantly surprised by the name that flashes up on the screen.
Well, suppose that's a bit of an understatement.
Jeno ♡♡ [12:22]: so, what are your plans for winter vacation, anyway?
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♡ send me your thoughts and feelings in my ask.
—this is a oneshot, there will be no part 2 (probably)
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f9smaragdine · 4 months
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Why does he look like dominant main lead of some crazy dark romance book
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Jeno lee Part of neo Gang. Most dangerous man. Death screams just by his presence alone and Dark Aura which screams power and dominance.
He is there sitting on sofa like king wide spread. One hand held cigar. White shirt half button up which bearly covers his tanned chest. While his vainy hands on displays deliciously Staring soul of you making vulnerable like flower.
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jiyeonnnn · 11 months
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SEX & MANIPULATION, LEE JENO.
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001. pairing. lee jeno x male reader
002. genre. smut.
003. warnings. manipulative ex-boyfriend jeno, possessiveness, there's no plot at all 💀, rough jeno, dirty talk, degradation
004. man im bored. just finished writing a dojaejung smut lol, 'm just gonna edit and post whenever i can. lovelots. also, work of fiction :: reblogs and interactions are very much appreciated
thinking hardly about jeno, your ex-boyfriend, who is still in love with you but is possessive of you, and he refuses to acknowledge it. he's toxic, controlling, manipulative, and gaslights you nonstop.
he just won't let you go out alone, and he controls your wardrobe and choice of clothes. he manipulates you into having sex with him when he gets jealous, reminding you that your body only belongs to him.
one day, you have an argument with jeno that left you both screaming at each other. you're tired of his toxicity, and it's making you confused about whether he loves you or not, but the fight only got nasty, and you end up slapping him. he slaps you back before grabbing you by the hair and forcefully making out with you.
he's going to have you crying on his cock, and you better take it seriously - whimpering, squealing, shaking, he's going to make you a fucking mess. and from that point on, you're moving in with him because he's never going to let you go again.
"you're such a fucking brat," jeno growls, grabbing your jaw and forcing you to look at him. "do you know how many times i've had to hold myself back from tearing your clothes off in public? how many times i've had to listen to other guys talk about wanting to fuck you?"
you try to pull away, but jeno's grip is too strong. "let go of me!" you scream, struggling against him.
"not until you fucking apologize," he snarls, his lips brushing against yours. "not until you admit that you're mine and that nobody else is allowed to touch you."
"i'm not yours," you hiss, trying to push him away. "i belong to myself."
jeno's eyes darken, and he grabs your hair, pulling your head back. "you belong to me," he growls, his lips crashing down on yours. his tongue forces its way into your mouth, and you moan despite yourself, your cock growing hard in your pants.
"fuck," jeno mutters, feeling your erection. "you like this, don't you? you like being dominated like the filthy whore you are."
"no," you gasp, but jeno doesn't believe you. he pushes you onto the bed and rips your clothes off, his eyes gleaming with possessiveness.
"you're going to be mine," he whispers, his fingers playing with your cock. "nobody else is going to touch you, do you understand me?" you nod, feeling a mixture of fear and arousal. jeno's possessiveness is both frightening and intoxicating, and you can't resist him any longer.
he pushes his cock into you, and you cry out in pleasure and pain. jeno fucks you hard, his hands gripping your hips as he pounds into you relentlessly. you're whimpering and shaking, your cock pulsing in time with his thrusts.
"you're mine," jeno growls, his eyes locked onto yours. "you belong to me, and nobody else." you nod, unable to resist his possessiveness any longer. you're his, and you know it. from that point on, you're moving in with him, and you're never going to leave his side again.
jeno continues to pound into you relentlessly, his hips slamming against yours with a force that leaves you breathless. you wrap your legs around his waist, holding onto him for dear life as he takes you to new heights of pleasure.
"who do you belong to?" jeno growls, his grip on your hips tightening. "tell me, baby. tell me who owns this tight little hole."
"you do, daddy," you moan, feeling the heat building inside you. "i belong to you."
"that's it," jeno hisses, his pace quickening. "you're mine. my little slut. my dirty little secret."
you cry out as he hits that sweet spot deep inside you, sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body. jeno grunts, his own release imminent as he continues to thrust into you with abandon.
finally, he slams into you one last time, filling you up with his hot cum. you scream his name, your own orgasm washing over you in a wave of ecstasy.
jeno collapses on top of you, both of you panting and sweating from the intensity of your lovemaking. "that's right, baby," he whispers in your ear. "you're mine. and i'm never letting you go."
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yeoosaangg · 5 months
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All Mine || Kinktober - Day 19
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pairing ▸ lee jeno × f!reader
now playing ▸ all mine - plaza
⤷ ❝man, i didn't want this all, believe me. i would've been so gone, but her sex so strong.❞
genre ▸ non-idol au, bf's best friend, smut
warnings ▸ size kink, spitting, throat fucking, degradation, rough sex, breeding kink, infidelity, getting caught
--------
Jeno did not expect for this to go as long as it has.
You're his best friend's girlfriend, yet he folded the second you showed interest in him.
You are his own personal drug.
No matter how hard he tried to stay away, he comes crawling back when you ask him to.
And he can't help but love the fact that you're smaller than him. His hands and body engulf you, and it has his dick jumping for more.
That's why he's currently got you pinned against your boyfriend's mattress.
Just like he's always had you.
You're a moaning mess as he slams his giant cock into your tight hole. His hands push your legs against your chest, fingers digging into your flesh with a hiss.
Jeno: You're such a fucking whore, Y/n. Getting fucked dumb by your boyfriend's best friend. What if he were to come back early, hm?
You knew it was risky, always luring Jeno into his roommate's bedroom to fuck you. But you don't care anymore.
You just want him so bad.
Jeno: My cock keeps opening you up, baby. Soon, it'll fit me perfectly. You'd like that, wouldn't you? To be my personal cocksleeve?
You scream, clawing at the sheets below you as he pins you down in a mating press.
There's something about the way your mouth falls open with broken moans slipping out that keeps his cock hard. He just keeps fucking you deeper into the mattress, hips bruising your ass.
Both of you cum for the third time that night.
He moans into your mouth as he fills your cunt again, mixing with his other two loads inside you.
Jeno: What'll Jaemin think when you get pregnant, Y/n? Don't think I'd just let you run around playing house with my fucking kid.
You're crying in oversensitivity. He still doesn't pull away for you to take a much needed break. But he also knows that if you truly wanted him to get off, you'd call the safe word.
Jeno: He'll understand, won't he? Why the kid will look like me instead of him? Why your slutty cunt doesn't get wet for him anymore?
His weight on top of you was too much, but the way his cock hits the deepest part of your insides has you drooling all over yourself.
Jeno: Can't speak now, can you? Where's the bitch that was begging me to fuck her two hours ago?
You whine, squeezing your tits as he sits up and pushes your legs over his shoulders.
He presses his forehead against yours, staring into your eyes as he pumps his cock along your dripping walls. He kisses you deeply, both of you moaning in each other's mouth.
He feels you squeeze his cock, squirting all over him again. He smirks against your lips as he pulls out of your swollen pussy.
You whine at the loss of his cock, but gasp when he straddles your head.
Jeno: Come on, baby. Put your mouth to good use as my cum drips out of your cunt.
You obediently open your mouth for him to fuck your face. He always gets surprised at your lack of gag reflex - it just adds to his desire to destroy you.
His hips stutter against your nose, holding onto your hair so he can get as deep down your throat as possible. You look up at him with droopy eyes, moaning on his cock.
Jeno: You're so fucking nasty. Look at you letting me abuse your face.
He bites his lip, not breaking the eye contact as he shoots another load down your throat. The hard look in his eyes as he continues thrusting his hips has you cumming untouched.
He pulls away, grabbing your chin harshly. He spits in your mouth and demands you to swallow. You obey, opening your mouth for him to see that you listened.
Jeno: Good girl.
Jaemin: What the fuck?
Oh shit.
---
a/n: i wonder if anyone's gonna notice what i did differently this time around... ₍ᐢ. ̫.ᐢ₎ thanks for reading ‹𝟹
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jamjaemin · 6 months
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One more night (M)
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𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: idol bf!jeno x f!reader
𝐑𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: +18 mdi pls
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 ⚠: explicit content, hard!dom jeno kissing, fingering, unprotected sex, doggy, possessive, orgasm denial, dirty talk, rough sex, Praising and degradation....
𝐰𝐜: 1.5k
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: ONE MORE NIGHT is about missing your boyfriend jeno and the times you spent together. It's difficult to find that time again because of his work as a kpop idol, he's been so busy and you couldn't handle the distance asking to end this relationship just to threaten him. What's gonna happen when you tell him?
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Lately you had the idea that this relationship will not last forever, there's no deep-rooted feelings anymore those late-night conversations that lead to intimacy, confessing his love for you so many times and much more. It's just different now although he told you about how his job works and it's not the first time that you had an argument about this topic.
the night you opened your mouth again, jeno seemed like he was going to explode with anger, trying his best to control himself. Every word that came out of your lips burned the heart that loved you blindly. It is okay to be impatient but he's no different than u, you did not think about how much he was trying to make your relationship successful even if your intentions were not to end it, most of times he come tired and see you after work.
On the night he found free time in his schedule, in his car and after a date. The timing was fucked up the situation was fucked up and you were just fucked up. You noticed that he drove faster and how his grip tightened on the steering wheel, instead of getting in the same argument. His veins want to burst from his skin. He had enough of your complaints and it's time to make you pay for your unforgivable mistake.
"I think we finished this nonsense a long time ago baby, no?", he said with a low voice smirking, he know you can't just turn your back at him because you loved each other's and can't spend a day without hearing his voice, either seeing him in person or on a phone call when he's away. Jeno have his own ways to change your mind no matter what you tried to say but this time he will do what he want to do.
“Did you really think that talking it out would change anything?” you whispered grabbing hard on your bag .You knew you were hasty when you said that, and you regretted it deeply.
You shivered hearing his next words, ��do you think threatening me would, kitten?” He said rising one eyebrow not expecting you to talk back like this glancing at you for a moment before looking at the road and sighed deeply.
"Tonight can't be enough to teach you some manners, i need one more night" his lips moved again while turning the steering wheel all the way to the right parking the car near the familiar place where you spend most of time with him.
"I didn't mean it i-" you stuttered panicking when he get out of the car opening your door and pulling you by your wrist strongly, slamming the door behind you "get the fuck out" his grip firm and you never seen him like this before.The possessive nature within him swelled, the need to keep you close overwhelming. He led you towards the entrance of the house, his presence providing a sense of security and stability but its scary because u never seen him this mad. With every step, his dominance and control radiated, a silent reminder of the power dynamic between you. You were his, and he was yours, and he relished in the knowledge of the depth of your need for him, "My wrist hurts so much jeno! Relax your grip, please"
Your body was slightly trembling like it's your first time although you had sex many times with jeno but this time feels different...like you're a virgin.
"Shhhh" his eyebrows furrowed shushing you. Your trembling only fuelled his desire, he tightened his grip on your wrist, offering a silent reassurance that worse is coming if you don't shut up. The realization that this time felt different, the power he held over you, the effect he had on your body and mind. With each step, your weakness only seemed to intensify.
As both reached the entrance, jeno's other hand slid into his pocket, retrieving the keys to the door. The cool metal pressed against his palm, With a flick of his wrist the door unlocked, dragging you inside. The click of the lock echoes in the silence and you know its your end.
"Look at me and say it again" He murmured "you can't" and he was right you wanted him so badly, his voice laced with longing closing the distance between your bodies and without wasting a second he smashed his lips on yours, he start kissing you hungrily and aggressively, pulling your hair while breathing heavily. Moving step by step, It didn't take long for him to push you making you lay down on the couch....the bedroom was upstairs and he's so impatient and desperate to fuck you here and now.
He takes his white dress-shirt off after unbuttoning it, ripped some buttons from the strength that he can't control especially when mad and turned on before he's hovering above you.
"Jeno no-" He didn't let you finish your sentence and attacked your lips again doing the same thing to your shirt sliding it off your arms and throwing it on the floor.
From your lips, he kisses down to your jawline. Then to your neck sucking on it hard as if this is the last sex he'll ever have leaving his marks of ownership. You bite your bottom-lip to stop any moans you make, but it wasn't worth it.. you were a moaning mess he knows your body so well and everytime you moan jeno would go wilder, he snipes your bra off and keep going down to your cleavage and breasts fingers find their way to your hardened nipples, pinching and squeezing the sensitive buds. You let out a sharp cry. "not t-there"
“here?”he suppresses a groan lips are attached to your bare nipples teasing the hell out of you, swirling his warm tongue and sucking loudly. Your hands tugging at the strands of his hair as you moan his name. 
"I don't want this" You squeezed your thighs together bucking your hips as he kiss on your tummy reaching to your skirt taking it off too as he growls "spread those legs for me, cmon" before he loses his shit.
So ashamed from yourself to do so because of your arousal, thinking for too long what to say but he can solve this with force, he's so strong for you making you spreading them wide enough.
"Please stop" you breathed trying to hide the wet spot in your panties with your hands but he uses more force grabbing your wrists and pinning them above your head with one hand. "What's this baby, hm?"..your body jolted when jeno's long fingers slipped inside your panties feeling your wetness and teasing your clit making you squirm softly, even your own body betrayed you.
"Oh no, you lied to me twice princess" adding a rough whisper "Promise I'll not go easy on you" that ruined you immediately before he does.
"Jeno im sorry" You begged him, hoping he let it slide but lee jeno is lee jeno. your eyebrows frowning on how good he's making you feel waiting for his answer eagerly. "Too late" without a warning his fingers find their way inside your folds curling them and hitting every sweet spot of your needy pussy that makes writhing in pleasure.
"just like that...fucking slut, let me hear every sound you make" He added, straightening the fingers inside of you and going a little faster, loving how wet you were.“God, you're so wet and desperate for me.” 
You moaned louder as his thumb circled your clit, hips jutting up. “Ahh!—” Your pleasure soon turned to be unbearable “Oh, my god! hnn—Jeno!” He wasn’t gentle in the slightest, fingers working you until you were a sobbing mess beneath him, and just when you think you’ll come, he’s pulling away and slapping a hand against your quivering pussy. “You'll cum only when I allow you to” He rasps, mouth hot against yours.
"P-please don't do this to me I said I'm sorry" He let you whine but it wasn't long before you were interrupted by the sound of his belt, which made your poor body shiver.
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“I’ve ap- apologized, jeno sl- ow down.”Jeno ignored you and thrusted harder, earning another whimper from you. no matter how you move he wouldn’t budge.
Since you didn't stop moving and without hesitation he flipped you onto your stomach and spanked your ass until it's numb and red, grabbed your waist harshly making sure to leave his fingerprints on your skin as you arch your back from pain and pleasure. “This is what you deserve for being impatient" ,tugging you back against him until his cock went inside you again "you can do better than just apologizing with words, prove it to me needy girl.”
You moan, fingers clutching against the couch as he rains down another series of slaps against your ass, each one stinging more than the last. It’s on the fifth one that you bite down on the leather fabric, desperate to muffle the annoying sound of your voice.
Jeno doesn’t like it that much wrapping his fingers in your hair, tugging you up until your back is pressed against his chest. He growls against the shell of your ear. “You’re gonna cry, and you’re gonna do it loud, show me how sorry you are"
Your eyes were burning from all the crying, you ended up submitting to him. Allowing him to use your body however he liked. You were on the verge of passing out when he picked you up and began fucking you as hard as possible "scream my name and make me fucking proud"
"Jeno! I wanna cum please" You sob fingernails digging into his forearm. Him telling you how good you're taking his cock and that your apology is still not accepted, the tears of yesterday’s forgotten placed by tears of pleasure. "So pretty" a low growl escaped his lips.
an hour passed – maybe two – you’ve lost count from the amount of times jeno has made you cum after denying your orgasms for long enough to make you break, your legs are giving out, shaking from pleasure after teaching you a lesson of respect.
it seems he misses you just as much, can't stop fucking you even when your pussy is dripping full of his cum, breasts swollen all marked and ready to learn your second lesson of patience, one more night.
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𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: hope you enjoyed it as mush as I did writing it, i ended up choosing jeno for this one bc he fits it perfectly and bc I couldn't stop thinking about being manhandled by him ^^ anyways ty for reading♡
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st4rryhyuck · 1 year
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Only For Me
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Paring 〉best friend Jeno x Fem reader
Warnings 〉unprotected sex, choking, ass! Slapping, mirror sex, dom jeno, dumbification, pet names (doll, baby), breeding kink? More of a cum kink ig?, language, jeno undressing you, after care, possessive Jeno, breaking and entering? (Not really since he has a key)
Genre 〉Smut and semi-fluff?
Summary 〉Mid-terms were stressing you out causing you to not pay mind to your phone. Your best friend couldn’t stand you ignoring him so he puts it into his own hands to figure out what’s wrong.
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You’ve been flooded with work now that mid-terms started, and all hell broke loose. You’ve been so busy you haven’t had the chance to text anyone back or even have some time for yourself.
It’s been around 3 days of you just studying, turning in assignments, then sleeping as soon as your head touches your pillows.
You drag your feet on the ground as you tiredly walk into your apartment, after hours of daydreaming about your bed you’ll finally get to sleep.
Placing your bag down you look into your kitchen and see jeno sitting on the countertop “FUCK” you yell as you jump back slightly.
“Hey calm down it’s just me, remember I have a key” he shrugs as he bites into an apple “no shit Sherlock it’s you” you roll your eyes as your annoying best friend jumps off the counter and walks up to you.
“Why haven’t you been answering any of my calls or texts? As your best friend, I think that’s prohibited”
You chuckle at his words, pushing past him and walking into your room. You don’t want to deal with his bickering right now, you just want to sleep.
“I’ve been really busy jeno. Mid-terms are kicking my ass right now I’m sorry I haven’t been texting you” you shrug.
He leans onto your door frame, watching you intently as you rummage through your clothes “just let me know next time yeah? I thought you ran away or something” he dramatically fake cries.
“Trust me I wish I could” you smile as you turn to him and see his eyes trailing down your body.
It was obvious both of you have had some sexual tension. Whenever Karina would tease you about him you’d always say “he’s my best friend” as if that stopped your mind from imagining him fucking you into oblivion.
Jeno on the other hand enjoyed being teased by everyone about you. Whenever renjun would tease him about hearing him in his room at night, Moaning your name as he fucked himself into his hand, the image of you looking up at him while he fucked your pretty face always made him loud. He didn’t care much about renjuns jokes.
“Are you going to watch me get naked or what? Get out” you roll your eyes as you shoo him off. “I mean I’ll watch if you let me” jeno coos.
You turn around, back facing him as you lean forward and pull your pants down, making sure to arch your ass up for him to see your panties shifting slightly.
He groans at your movements, closing the door behind him as he sits on your bed “come” he hums as he signals you to him with his finger.
You stand in front of him, eyes staring into his as you smile at him “let me do it” he nods as his fingers cuff the hem of your lace panties. The soft cloth glides down your skin as he groans at the sight of your bare pussy.
His mouth watering as he sees you squeeze your legs together “this is what best friends do right?” He mocks. You don’t say a word as he stands up, his hands massaging your hips before he pulls your shirt over your head.
You moan at the feeling of his thumb touching your boob ever so slightly. His eyes shoot to you as soon he heard you. “Turn”
His hands land on your hips, his hands massaging your sides as he turns you around. Your eyes moved up to the mirror that stood in front of you.
You hear him chuckle as he looks up at your reflection, looking into your eyes as he rubs your shoulders.
“You’ve been overworking yourself huh?” He hums softly, his fingers unclipping your bra and dropping it to the ground.
You stand naked in front of him and can’t help but get nervous. He was fully clothed as he had you in his grasp.
“Look so fucking pretty like this, always hoped to see you like this” he smiles. You feel his lips press a soft kiss onto your shoulder, jolts of nerves rushing through you as he scatters them higher.
His lips latch onto your neck, his eyes still glued to yours through the mirror as he pushes you against the vanity where your mirror stood.
You can feel his cock pressing against your ass “I’ll make sure you get a good night's sleep” jeno purrs as he wraps his hand around your throat.
His movements are gentle as he makes sure you feel every single thing he does to you “need you to look in the mirror ok? Don’t take your eye off it”
You nod in compliance as his hands rub up your lower back, pushing you down and arching your ass up. He didn’t break eye contact doing it, he loved the way you let out the smallest breath with every touch.
His eyes move down to your pussy as he kicks your legs apart for a better view, he’s practically lifting you off the ground with his grip “this is what you’ve been needing yeah? You need your best friend buried inside your pussy?”
You clench around nothing at his words, just imagining him finally fucking you full made you wet. “Yes” you pant out pathetically “I know you did, just wanted you to admit it” Jeno chuckles.
“Been needing this more than you”, his eyes connecting with yours as he said it. “Gonna let me fuck you doll? Or do you want me to help you change into some clothes?” He smiles.
You whine at his questions, you soon remember he is still that annoying jeno even when he’s rock-hard and pressing himself against your cunt.
“Fuck me jeno please” you whine looking into the mirror, your eyes pleading up at him as his expression goes blank.
His eyes burned into you as he takes in the neediness of your whines as you begged him to fuck you “need you to cum in me please”
As soon as he heard those words his pants hit the ground, his grip on your hips rougher than it was before as he pressed himself onto you through his boxers.
He grips you by the neck, pinning you up to his chest as he holds your face tightly “feel what you do to me? Driving me fucking crazy” he hisses as he rocks onto your ass.
You let out a whine when you see him push his boxers down “eyes on the mirror doll” he purrs into your ear before pushing back onto the vanity.
He runs two fingers through your folds, collecting your slick and rubbing it onto your hole. You bite onto your hand as you feel his fingers push inside you.
“I wanna hear you” he hisses, pulling your hands behind your back with his free hand. He pulls his fingers out, licking your slick off his fingers in a hum.
Jeno can’t believe this was happening. He told himself if this happened he would try and be gentle with you but of course, you had to say “need you to cum in me”. He hated that he knew once you said that his self-control would be out the window.
He had somewhat of a breeding kink. He didn’t want children but he loved to think about fucking you full of his loads until you leaked onto his sheets.
He adjusts himself between your folds, rubbing his cock through your folds as he scratches down your back. He looks up at you with a smile as he slams into you, your eyes roll back as you feel him stretched you.
His mind went dizzy feeling you squeeze around him, he knew it would feel a little painful for you but he didn’t care, he just slammed into you without giving you a second to adjust.
He was telling himself to be gentle but the other voice in him was louder, his hips slapping onto your ass as his grip lifts you off the ground slightly with his hard thrusts.
Your hands try to grip onto anything they could as he fucks you onto the vanity. “J- Jen-“ you cry out, scratching at his arms in bliss. The mix of pain and pleasure makes you whine, a hard smack lands on your ass as your eyes move away from the mirror.
“What did I tell you?” Jeno hisses, your eyes weakly moving up to his as he fucks you senseless. “Good girl”
You feel yourself throbbing around him, his hands still pinning your hands behind your back making your arms hurt.
You try and hold onto his hand for him to slow down but he takes your hand and holds it instead. You realized how much you needed that, his eyes softening as he looks at you “love you so much” he whispers as he fucks you harder.
A jumbled mess comes out of you as you try and hint that you were close, your legs a complete mess as both of you make complete mess out of each.
A smile grew on jenos face as he looks down and sees how messy you both were, your slick all over his thighs and his cock coated making it so easy for him to fuck you.
Jeno's name spills out of you, your voice sounding like music to his ears as you beg and whine his name out. He could get used to hearing that a lot more, he knows he’d sleep better if he knew he’d be the only one who can hear it.
“You’re mine doll, no one can see you like this, no one can hear you like this. Only me yeah?” He hisses.
“Yes yes yes yes”
You couldn’t even think about anyone when you were with jeno and now with him inside you, you can’t even form one coherent thought.
“That’s my girl”
Your body shakes from overstimulation, jenos thrusts getting sloppy as you look into the mirror with everything drained out of you.
His raspy moans echo through the room as he slips in and out, his hips jittering as he finally let's go. His warm cum spills into your pussy as he holds you still.
His eyes closed shut and throws his head back in pleasure. You groan as you see the sweat run down his forehead. His mouth hung open as he pumps loads into you.
Your head finally falls back down, deep breaths from both of you as he finally pulls out. His eyes are blown out as he sees his cum leaking out of you.
He can already feel himself getting hard again at the sight of your cum filled pussy, the soft shaking of your legs making it an even better view.
You can feel him leaking out of you as your thighs squeeze together. Jeno turns you around slowly, connecting his lips to yours as soon as you face him.
He flits you off the ground, wrapping your legs around his waist as he carries you to the bathroom. You shake your head thinking he was going to want shower sex, you couldn’t even process getting fucked again.
“Gonna clean you up baby, I’ll fuck you in the shower tomorrow, right now you rest”
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i4oba · 8 days
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nct dream as… / times of a day 𓈒✳︎🚃
[— might be a little suggestive here and there!]
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✰ 6:45 am .. jaemin
helios, through the half lidded eyes of yours was there to greet both of you at the same time—you could feel its hands coming near your bare body, the rays of the sun hugging your shape perfectly, casting such beautiful silhouettes behind, you and jaemin blending all together in your hazy state. you could feel the weight of his arms on your waist, hugging you so tight, sweet nothings leaving his lips, barely above a breath, hoarse voice laced with sleep. his scent, the sweet fragrance is dizzying, the warmth of him engulfing you just as much as helios’ breath of the morning; the sky is rosy, as if it was blushing while taking its time to fully wake up, faint shades of orange and yellow dancing through it endlessly. it’s such a beautiful way to start a day, with your lover all over you, deeply ingrained in your existence.
✰ 1:20 pm .. chenle
with the fierce determination of hermes, an arm slung around your waist; you were there—sun burning the uncovered skin of your shoulders, sweat making its way down on your temples as you took a look at the beautiful postcard in your hands, quickly snatched from a souvenir shop you passed barely twenty minutes ago. with such beautiful words and phrases, cursive letters and the scent of blooming flowers, you handed it over to your lover, hands aching to intertwine. he takes it, honest smile on his face, mumbling something along the line of “i’m the luckiest guy around”, wanting nothing but strolling around the foreign city for the rest of the day, stopping just for a minute in front of a pastry shop. there are freshly baked croissants!
✰ 3:25 pm .. jisung
was it all just a coincidence or did he know about all of it, you cannot be quite sure of but you, in fact enjoyed the way he pulled you straight into the sudden dancing flashmob. the sun was shining, birds singing endlessly along with the folk music played by a kind-looking band of teenagers, flute and harp harmonising together with the occasional sound of the guitar; you did not know how to dance or what kind of dance you should think of, but your lover pulled you closer to himself and took the lead, precise moves following one another as you felt yourself become a gracious nymph all of a sudden, trapped in a human’s fragile body. “honey, you’re doing so great,” jisung beamed happily, hands travelling lower on your skin, smile so wide and heartwarming. “i love you, so much,” he mumbled into your ears, voice losing the battle against the beautiful music.
✰ 7:05 pm .. jeno
with dionysus musing in your ears, you take a sip of the rich, sweet red wine your lover poured a few seconds before. the important event you two should have gone to long forgotten, with absolutely lust filled intentions you touch jeno’s rosy lips, tugging at his messily made tie, thighs rubbing against each other as you pulled him closer to yourself. the voice of dionysus slowly fading, you could feel the inviting hands of eros, guiding every movement of yours with extra care, fully planned with a hint of sinful acts. you sighs against your boyfriend’s mouth, not caring about consequences, reputation nor anything else, as you put his hands on either side of your hips. you wanted him—you needed him at that exact moment, the taste of his lips intoxicating, almost too permanent.
✰ 8:50 pm .. renjun
with lips slightly parted, tongue darting out to wet them quickly, renjun focused on the way your bare body looked behind the canvas. he couldn’t keep his eyes off of your curves, the way your hands did such a bad job at hiding yourself, timid reflection making it all too complicated to even think about anything but you. he felt drunk, as he watched your neck, the beautiful thighs of yours, wanting nothing more than to look deeply into your eyes and touch you, touch you everywhere he can and everywhere you’d let him to do so; you were everything and even more, compared to helen of troy, magical and enchanting, alluring. “can you please finish that painting, my junnie…” you mumbled quietly, shaking your head slightly. “i need you.”
✰ 10:45 pm .. haechan
“you should never come back to this studio, man, taeyong will kick your ass,” you laughed so hard, tears were about to fall out of your eyes, replaying the freshly made song of your boyfriend. he was a self proclaimed master producer but the thing is—it was rather funny than good. of course you appreciated his effort in making a lovesong for you, to confess for the hundreth time and once more. you were his muse supposedly and even if it was unlistenable, you loved it. at least more than taeyong, who would be furious if he knew you two were there, late into the night, making out on the couch of his studio until your lips were swollen, out of breath and with only one thing in your mind: love, love and love. you would never do anything else, even if it meant taking the risk of battling twelve times like heracles.
✰ 11:35 pm .. mark
being faced with the rolling credits after god know’s how many movies being watched, you slowly rested your head on mark’s shoulder. you reached out for his hand so you could take it in yours, not caring about silly actors’ and actresses’ love affairs or the world ending in front of you. all that mattered was the two of you, the adoration you felt for him, how he needed to have you close to him. his hair falling into his eyes, you tried to brush it away from there cautiously, caressing his cheek ever so lightly. you’ve never wanted to kiss him more than you did at that moment, every rational thought vanishing from your brain at the beautiful sight of him, as if he was the long lost son of the oh so wonderful aphrodite. “do it, love. kiss me and i’m yours,” was all he said quietly.
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heesopretty · 1 month
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pairings: nct dream x fem!reader
warnings: fluff , silly little jokes , jokes about marriage & children
notes: these r either rlly sweet or insane
the dreamies when you’re burnt out from work ☕️
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daydreamingyuta · 5 months
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NCT as Husbands Series: Jeno
summary: fluff, drabble, husband!jeno wc: 483 nct as husbands masterlist
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Jeno as a husband is so soft 🥹 you're literally his safe space and he's yours. like there's nothing either of you want more than to just go home and spend time with each other at the end of the day. He was already a homebody when you met him, but this was intensified when he married you because now he could be a homebody with his favorite person in the entire world.
When you two aren't at home together, one of his favorite things to do is to take you out to a nice dinner. Not only because it means he gets to spend more time with you, but also because he literally drools when he sees you in a dress he just bought you. (he has very good taste) and he literally makes you a blushing mess the entire dinner from his sweet compliments.
Also, every single day is a struggle to get out of bed because Jeno always begs you to stay and cuddle. This is especially bad when he has to go on tour soon.
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Your alarm goes off, startling you both awake. When you reach over to turn it off, Jeno gently grabs your waist. "Babyy stay here." He says, half-asleep. You hum at him as you turn off the alarm and get back under the covers. You allow yourself to be engulfed in Jeno's arms, knowing that your time spent together in the mornings are so precious. "I'm not going anywhere, I know you need your morning cuddles." You can feel him nod his head at this statement even though you can't see him, your face buried into his chest. “It’s always so hard to leave home.” He says, absentmindedly holding you tighter. “I know, especially leaving our bed. You can never get a good night's sleep in a bed that’s not your own.” “Hm, yeah... but I was talking more about you.” He presses gentle kisses on the top of your head. “You’re my home y/n. It's so hard to leave you.” You nod your head because you know he struggles with this so much. It's hard for you too, but having your husband be able to live out his dream was worth having to spend some time away from each other. "I know it's hard, but our time apart only makes our time together that much more special." You can physically feel Jeno lose some tension in his body as you say this. You can tell he feels better when he doesn't say anything more, allowing himself to enjoy this moment with you. Luckily, you know your husband very well, so you had set an early alarm about twenty minutes before you two actually had to wake up. You smile at yourself for actually thinking ahead this time and cuddle more into him, knowing that he wants you to be as close as possible.
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p4p1l0nn · 3 months
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sweet fury.
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pairing: jeno x fem!reader
content warning: 18+ choking!kink, dom!jeno, bondage, rough sex, masturbation, fingering.
a/n: might not be the best, but here you go.
born into a narrative where love was more than a fleeting emotion, lee jeno understood its depth from the earliest days.
his upbringing was a canvas adorned with the brushstrokes of kindness, generosity, and genuine care. it wasn't the indulgence of material possessions that marked him as a privileged soul, but rather the wealth of love that he effortlessly showered upon those he encountered.
jeno had this sweet way about him, like a kid who's just a bit pampered, not with fancy things but with a heart full of warmth. his kindness was infectious, spreading happiness wherever he went. his genuine love for people shining through.
however, there was a chapter in jeno's life that whispered a more intense desire — an obsession that he lived for, entwined with his very being. in short, sex. some might have labeled him a womanizer, but for jeno, it was a pursuit of a connection that he found enduring, a journey that began with a collision of shared glances and the electric spark of mutual attraction.
through his experiences, jeno discovered the intricacies of sex, the language of touch that spoke volumes. it wasn't just a fleeting desire; it was a canvas where he painted the hues of passion, exploring the depths of human connection in a dance as old as time.
his fascination with the sensual started with the innocence of a young heart, exploring the undiscovered realms of desire. with each encounter, he peeled back layers of intimacy, seeking a connection that went deeper than the physical. it wasn't just about pleasure for jeno; it was a journey into the soul, an enduring pursuit to understand how hearts could entwine in countless ways.
he enjoyed every position, every angle, with every woman — no preferences. whether they had curves or not, as long as there were boobs and pussy, he was satisfied.
but among them all, none sparked his passion like you. the things they shared, the unique moments created, were unlike anything he experienced with anyone else, and it made him and you exceptionally happy. tonight was no different.
you lie on the bed, arms reaching above, wrists gently restrained by leather cuffs attached to the headboard. your elegantly long legs are spread, ankles secured like your wrists. yearning for his touch, any hint of friction, you writhe on the bed.
a desperate moan escapes your lips, raspy from chanting his name moments before.
he lightly slaps your breast, leaving a trace of fiery red. “didn't i ask you to keep quiet?” he whispers, a teasing edge in his voice, adding to the intoxicating dance of pleasure and command.
you gently nibbled on your lower lip, a touch of anticipation reflected in your eyes as they widened with lust. your hands formed gentle fists, pulling at the restraints with a soft eagerness.
jeno confidently strolled beside the bed, wearing his nakedness shamelessly. tilt your head just right, and you could catch a glimpse of his cock's broad head swaying with each step.
at the foot of the bed, jeno took himself in hand, pumping himself. the deliberate, unhurried motion causing anticipation to swell. still carrying the warmth from your shared arousal, his experienced hands moved with skill over his length, his thumb delicately tracing the tip.
“you enjoy watching, don’t you, y/n?”
you buried your face into the mattress, your back arching gracefully off the bed. his smile widened in approval when the muffled utterance of his name escaped your throat.
despite the inability to rub your thighs together in your spread position, you attempted it, a testament to your yearning for any form of friction.
his bottom lip felt the pressure from his own bite as he increased the pace, a prominent vein along the underside of his cock becoming more defined. he was well aware of your affinity for running your tongue along that vein, maybe nipping at it or lightly scraping a fingernail over it. his eyelids lowered as he reached down, firmly squeezing his balls, indulging in the sensations that heightened the shared intimacy.
you pulled against the restraints, a yearning to beg him to draw nearer and satisfy your needs, yet all that escaped your lips was a breathy sigh. how could he entertain the thought of punishment when you were playing the obedient role so well?
his focus wasn't fixed on the fact that you were toeing the line. instead, his half-lidded eyes lingered on your arousal. you were visibly wet, and he could almost feel the pulse beneath your skin quicken with every beat of your heart.
just as he felt he might have pushed too far, teetering on the edge, he halted, pinching the tip to stave off his impending orgasm. his lungs strained from heavy breaths, and he could tell, from your look and the scent lingering in the air, that you were more than ready.
kneeling at the bed's end, he leaned over, fists placed on either side of your hips. bending down, he grazed his nose against your hip bone, inhaling deeply. “shit, y/n, you smell amazing.”
your hips moved, urging his face closer to the part of you yearning for him. a scowl adorned his face as he gripped your hips, pressing them into the mattress. “stay still.”
without waiting for your response, he swiftly transitioned from giving a command to plunging two fingers into your core. it demanded every ounce of your strength not to react or vocalize the intensity of his touch.
you managed to keep quiet until his tongue flicked over your already over stimulated clit.
in the struggle, you bit down on your lip, splitting it, and finally unleashed a scream that could easily rouse the neighbors.
jeno retracted his fingers, moving with quick precision. his slickened fingers found its place on your throat, squeezing firmly. “what did i say?” he demanded, each word punctuated with controlled force.
with your airway constricted, your response was limited to miming his commands. “be quiet and hold still,” you mouthed back.
his hand still on your throat, he kissed you hungrily, extracting more blood from the cut your teeth had caused. aware of your breath capacity and a signal or safe word, he patiently waited until you knocked on the headboard with a familiar rhythm.
his fingers released your throat, allowing you to engage more in the kiss. after giving your tongue a final playful suck, he delivered two quick slaps to each breast before making his way back between your legs. your breasts and stomach displayed various hues of red and purple from his touch, yet none surpassed the threshold of pain you could endure.
he glanced up, smirking, as he slid his fingers between your folds, a groan escaping when you clung to him. your entire body trembled, yet you resisted the urge to grind against him, urging him to explore the next destination.
with a throaty chuckle, he blew gently, his fingers pumping and finding that sweet spot that promised euphoria.
your entire body flushed with release as you came on jeno's hand, but he wasn't finished orchestrating this pleasure.
he delicately flicked his tongue over your clit, circling it with the tip before enveloping it with his sinfully full lips.
a decisive suck, a nip from his teeth, and it felt like a flash grenade detonated in your mind — ears ringing with static, vision washed in white, your hips lifted off the bed as you repeatedly screamed, “jeno, jeno, jeno.” he grabbed your ass, burying his face further, guiding you through the intense waves of this overwhelming orgasm.
you moistened your lips, the taste of blood from the cut spreading, your body still in the aftermath of twitches. a quick realization hit as you sensed the iron grip on your throat — a clear sign of disobeying his rules.
gazing up, you met a pair of eyes that seemed to morph into something almost beast-like, slowly consumed by his pupils.
his fingers tightened around your neck, resting between your legs, nudging the head of his cock against you. despite the lingering energy from your recent climax, your clit throbbed, yet the yearning for him buried within you prevailed. rolling your hips, you were rewarded with the entrance of his tip.
jeno sneered, “you crave my cock?”
though he hadn't initiated choking yet, the weight of his hand and the implicit promise intensified with each flex of his fingers. a single word escaped your lips, “yes.”
“i’m not sure if you've earned it. rules have been ignored,” he stated, exercising every ounce of restraint to resist thrusting his hips. instead, he pressed forward ever so slightly.
beneath his hand, your neck quivered. “i'm sorry.”
jeno squeezed your breast, exerting a rough squeeze on the soft flesh, grinding his hand's heel into your nipple. “are you?” he pinched the pebbled nipple with the same grip, eliciting a mix of pain and pleasure that shot down your spine.
your back arched almost entirely off the bed. “y-yes.”
his thumb traced over the hollow of your throat, sensing your racing heart beneath his fingers before giving a swift squeeze. a gasp escaped as the lack of oxygen left you momentarily helpless. he smiled at the flicker of vulnerability in your eyes. “tell me y/n. tell me what you want.”
you drew in a sharp breath between your teeth once his grip relaxed just enough. “i want you to fucking fuck me, lee jeno.”
what followed became almost a blur. he thrust into you forcefully, causing your head to collide with the headboard. the room echoed with the wet smack of skin as your bodies collided, accompanied by grunts and moans shared between you and jeno.
tremors rippled through you, enveloping and pulsating around him. he sensed that restricting your oxygen supply would intensify the climax for both. with a snarl, his hand flexed, squeezing the top of your windpipe. your eyes widened, and the orgasm was almost immediate.
you grunted and made gurgling sounds as the climax hit hard and almost violently. your face took on a lovely shade of crimson, reminiscent of freshly spilled blood, a sight that stayed with jeno.
he thrust his hips with increased intensity, leveraging his grip on your throat for added force, colliding against you until the culmination led to his release. his pupils expanded, engulfing the intense white as he poured into you. the darkness consumed everything, resembling a dark sky.
your knuckles tapped the headboard, signaling that you had reached your limit. his hand slackened, but the rhythmic movement of his hips persisted.
despite both of you having climaxed, your bodies craved the friction. his balls slapped against your ass with a slick sound, and his mouth found your neck, mirroring where his hand had been.
he bit, licked, and sucked until you came again. this time, silence engulfed — no words, no sounds, just a high arch of your back and your mouth agape. he continued the rhythm until both of you were motionless, pushing your bodies to their utmost limits.
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jaelvr · 1 month
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Just friends
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Home | NCT Dream masterlist |
Requested : no
Prompts ; 78. “Hold me. Don’t ever let go.”  + 26. “You keep saying that we’re friends but you look at me for a moment too long for that to be true.” 
Pairing : best friend! Jeno x reader
Pronouns : you/yours
Type : fluff
Word count : 675
Warnings : mutual feelings, friends to lovers, college au, fluff, slightly ooc
Have a great day !! 
——————————
It was the usual college party, the room swarmed with bodies, people drinking or flirting with each other, having fun for the night. To say it wasn't your thing was an understatement. Your friends had dragged you out for the night, claiming it would be good for you to relax. All these people here, and yet you couldn't keep your eyes off a certain person - Lee Jeno. You'd been friends since you were kids, with your mothers having been good friends. The two of you had slightly drifted in high school before reuniting in college, both friend groups connected through mutual friends or partners.
He was stood with Jaemin and Haechan, talking about whatever it was - he didn't seem too interested. His hands were in his pockets, somewhat smartly dressed and his natural hair fluffy, claiming he was taking a break from dying it too much. A small smirk on his face as he realised you watching him, giving you a small nod in acknowledgement. A soft redness rose to your cheeks as you just about made out the marks on his neck, a reminder of the night the two of you had spent together.
There was a somewhat silent agreement between the two of you, wanting to keep it on the low from the others for now, enjoying the secrecy and privacy of whatever was happening between the two of you. It was slowly becoming more unbearable for both, having to control the urge to hold each other's hand or greet each other with a form of affection after a long day, having to wait until the early hours of the morning, just to ensure that no one else would find out.
At some point in the night, you'd excused yourself to get some air, only to end up getting dragged back into the house by Hana to come join in with seven minutes in heaven. The sigh of relief you'd been holding in all night finally released as you watched Jeno pull out your keychain from the hat before being ushered into one of the bedrooms and into a tight closet with him. The pair of you moved around in the dark, trying to fit comfortably. "Sorry." you whispered as you felt yourself gently nudge into him, a chuckle coming from Jeno as he fumbled for his phone, turning on the flashlight and setting it down on a box of something.
"it's okay." he assured, sitting down against the wall, and patting the space next to him. You sat down, cheeks a soft red, slightly thankful it wasn't too noticeable. Another chuckle from Jeno broke you out of your thoughts, realising you'd zoned out while looking at him. "Just friends, huh?" he questioned, a small smug grin on his face, quoting your words from the night you'd agreed it was just friends having fun together. "We are." you mumbled in response, eyes trailing to the ground, voice wavering slightly as his hand gently travelled to your back.
“You keep saying that we’re friends but you look at me for a moment too long for that to be true.” Jeno sighed, his other hand running through his hair. "You don't have to keep denying your feelings, sweetheart." he assured, moving his arm around you and pulling you into his lap, his forehead against yours. He didn't say anything more, but his feelings were clear - the love and pure adoration in his eyes were evident.
He broke the silence after a few minutes, unable to contain his desire. "Can I kiss you?" he whispered, his face soft and the genuine emotion clear in his voice. You didn't respond, simply leaning forward and meeting his lips as your hands gently cupped his face. He kissed you back softly and lovingly, arms gently wrapping around your waist with a slight possessive grip to it.  “Hold me. Don’t ever let go.”  you whispered once the two of you had broken apart, a small grin on both of your faces.
"Wouldn't dream of it, my love."
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dojunie · 1 month
Text
MISDIAL; LJN [CH5] VOICEMAIL REDUX
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[★]; [MISDIAL MASTERLIST] [PREVIOUS PART] [NEXT PART]
info;
lee jeno x fem!reader
college au
chaptered
very slow burn
genre; not-quite-friends to lovers, older brother mark lee, brothers best friend lee jeno, light angst, yn is a menace to society, story/character driven
warnings for this chapter; kys mention in joking manner
chapter wc: ...13K
a/n: i couldn't decide between posting this monster whole or cutting it into two parts, but two parts kind of makes the pacing weird, so here she is in all her glory! been editing this so long that i've gotten sick of looking at it so im just going to release it into the world now LOL, pls pls pls give me feedback on this chapter, im not 100% satisfied w it but i cant tell if its because it sucks or i've just been rereading it too much 🥸
current tl: @hibernatinghamster / @jenoxygen / @eaglesnotravens / @donutswithjaminthemiddle / @jvjsssnaa / @huangrenhyucks / @luvenshiti / @shiningdery / @jaeminsbebu / @aliceinwhateverland / @bebsky / @gem-gem / @jkjkseo / @jenosbliss / @pewpewpwe00 / @ti–red / @philanarose / @softbbyg0rl / @aaasteroidsky / @carelessshootanonymous / @en-boyz / @jlsavyy / @roseymerrie / @bangchanisemo / @skuezk / @jaehyuns-adorable-dimples / @ourbeautifulaffair / @jeonnyread / @jvjsssnaa / @episkeyjeno / @bockhyun / @jenojammin / @zarastrawberry / @peachie-bear / @itadaramaterasu / @alymii / @cuteejeno / @episkeyjeno / @nohunlee / @ooojisoo / @luv4jeno / @jydivrs / @pinkysinnerbaby / @jenojenoyes / @maeyoung / @axmdocs / @nctzennikki09
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FORGET WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT NEVER BEING ABLE TO GET MAD AT SOMI, BECAUSE THIS TIME, YOU’RE REALLY GOING TO KILL HER.
At this exact moment in time, the Aegon Showcase is set to begin in about fifteen minutes. You’ve got half of a chocolate muffin stuffed into your mouth (courtesy of Somi sneaking a few snacks from the audience lounge, since the dancers technically weren’t supposed to be eating any of the guest refreshments), and you were about halfway through swallowing this chunk of bread when Somi said something that made you nearly choke.
For context: six and a half days have passed since you’ve last spoken to Jeno.
And you haven’t been counting, either. It just so happens that it is surprisingly easy to recall every passing minute when each one feels like it’s been put there specifically to test you.
The afternoon after the Balcony Incident, for example— a few fresh hours after you left Lee Jeno behind on that overlook with the full intention of never looking him in the eyes ever again. After a late breakfast with Somi you’d told her you weren’t feeling too well, that you’d be leaving a little earlier than planned (which, even though you’d said your pain was of the intestinal variety, wasn’t untrue; you didn’t feel well, if the widening pit in your stomach caused by that morning was anything to go by) and departed her penthouse a little after one. 
You’d foolishly hoped that Jeno and his entourage would have plans literally anywhere other than Mark’s place for once, wanting to do nothing but silently mope around the apartment for a few hours once you'd gotten home, but you’d been naive.
You’d been so, so naive.
“Oh!” you’d heard. Renjun. Brown hair, big dark eyes peeking at you around the doorframe as you cradled your now-aching nose bridge. You opened the front door and crashed face first into something solid. “Hey, you. Perfect timing. Do you wanna come grocery shopping with us? Jaemin’s cooking tonight!”
“We’ll even let you ride in the cart,” Chenle chimed in from further into the hallway, grinning wickedly, but you couldn’t focus on either of them because they were both half-hidden behind what you’d smashed into with your haste to get inside. No gray flannel this time, but the same unreadable expression on his face as he, much like he did at the party last night, instinctively grabbed you to keep you from falling on your ass.
(Or his expression was unreadable. Until his eyes trained on something about your face that he didn’t like and his dark eyebrows furrowed with something akin to concern. Then you remembered you’d been crying all morning and surely looked like some sort of dried-out blowfish, eyelids puffy and swollen, so you averted your eyes and jumped out of his grip like he’d stung you.)
“Busy,” you told them quickly, “Sorry. Not today.”
Renjun pouted. Chenle squinted at you, obviously doubtful. And when Jeno finally moved out of the way, you didn’t even thank him for keeping you upright. You just kept your attention on the ground and beelined into the apartment.
Little did you know, that one word would become your mantra. Busy, busy, busy. But it wasn’t like you were completely lying, because you were busy. The Aegon showcase was in a week which meant you had practice every free hour with Somi and the others, and the last thing you needed was to get distracted by circling Jeno like some kind of sad, miserable shark. The good thing about being out of the house so often was that most of the week passed with no more Jeno-related incidents.
Thursday night ended up being the first time you’d seen him with your own eyes since you face-planted into him the previous Saturday.
You’d returned home at 10PM, sweaty and exhausted from a last minute choreo change that had, apparently, also wiped clean the memory of what Thursday nights meant in the Mark Lee household. Movie night. The tiredness you felt was so all-encompassing that upon the discovery of all seven of them sitting around the couch staring at you as you entered, there wasn’t even enough energy to feel awkward. Even then, you must not have looked as ghastly as you felt because Jaemin smiled at you like nothing was amiss, gesturing towards the dining table and the mountain of brown bags atop it.
“You’re late, Rockstar. Take-out’s gone cold.”
Jeno was sitting right next to him. Your muscles were like jelly. All of your bones hurt. Your brain felt like it was operating on nothing but fumes. (And this is what you blamed for your cowardice— the fact that you couldn’t even hold your head up to look in his direction in fear of catching his eye.)
After everyone had gone home and you had free reign of the kitchen once again, Mark hit you with a few more questions about the Aegon Comp; seemingly insignificant inquiries like how the parking situation was (which you didn’t understand the importance of, since he said he’d probably ride his bike there), and if he could sit wherever he wanted (which again, confused you, because the ticke you’d gotten him was one of the best in house). But in your state of fatigue you didn’t think to question it. All you wanted to do was eat something and go to bed, and that’s exactly what you did.
(If you’d had your wits about you maybe you’d have put two and two together. Maybe Somi’s words wouldn’t have caught you with the surprise they did. But as it stands…)
As it stands it’s Friday afternoon, the day of the Aegon Showcase, and half a chocolate muffin is stuffed into your face (technically now stuffed into your airway) as you come to the realization that your friend might secretly be trying to ruin your life.
“You really need to stop eating your food so fast,” Jiara murmurs, clapping you on the back with a little more force than necessary. “No one is going to take it from you. Smaller bites will go a long way.”
You gasp a breath when the chunk finally unsticks. Then, “You saw who in the audience lounge?”
Somi is nonplussed by your horror.
“I saw your brother out there trying to throw a skittle over a lighting fixture and still catch it in his mouth. When I was leaving with our food I think I heard a bunch of people cheer so I’d bet he managed to do it, which, when you think about how high these ceilings are, is actually pretty impressive—”
You fight the urge to grab her by her shoulders and shake her. “I’m not asking about the goddamn skittles!” you hiss. “Somi, you said you saw ‘them’ when you went out there. Them as in plural. Who is them?”
She makes a face like you should already know who. “Who else? Mark and the rest of his crew. And Donghyuck asked to bring a few more, so I guess those are who the other guys out there are. Why are you acting like you didn’t already know this? You were sitting right next to me when Donghyuck was practically begging to come!”
Your life flashes before your eyes.
Jeno’s car. The rain, pounding against the windows. Catching him looking at you in the mirror after Somi told them about the showcase, how it felt like the world outside faded away a little as some little message passed between you— when you felt like he was telling you something without saying a single word.
Then you remember it. In your distant, distant periphery, even though she’d been sitting not even a millimeter to your left when these alleged plans were discussed.
‘Yeah! I mean, I reserved like, a bajillion seats in advance because I knew I’d want to invite everyone who would even consider coming— I’ll definitely get the best row for you guys!’
“However,” she says after a beat, voice finally starting to show the tiniest bit of caution. You realize that your face has begun to contort on its own. “I am starting… to get vibes. That I maybe should have run that by you first? Would now be a bad time to let you know that I told them about the afterparty, too?”
Utter disbelief. The only reason you don’t leap on her once you fully comprehend what she’s said is because Gawon, who’d been watching this entire exchange with quiet brown eyes, puts a hand on your shoulder. She must be able to tell that you’re about to start freaking out, because her therapist-voice is fully activated when she clears her throat.
“Can I ask what's so surprising about this?” she asks carefully. “When we were telling Aegon about how many tickets we each wanted, you said you only needed one. For your brother, right?”
You thought of the ticket, the little envelope you’d held under your pillow for weeks as you fought with the idea of actually giving it to Mark. In the end, a few days ago, when you handed it to him and told him he could come watch you perform if he wanted to, he smiled so big that you felt bad for waiting so long in the first place. But you’d then quickly explained the caveat: that he was not to tell any of the others about it, because there was only one ticket and you didn’t want them hassling you about getting more. And Mark agreed.
Which is why you’d dared to assume that tonight would be safe.
“Yes,” you mutter. “The ticket was for him.”
“Which means you’re not surprised he’s here. So are his friends the problem?”
“The problem?”
You pause. That word makes it seem like their appearance here is actually detrimental to you in some way, like they’re just here to hassle or bully you or something, but that’s not really it at all. Your annoyance at them being here is rooted in the exact opposite. They’re not going to joke around and take it easy, or pat you on the back and tell you that you did well, like how they would if they’d come to watch one of their friends dance. They’re going to swarm you and coo and treat you like a five year old that just stumbled through their first ballet recital.
And as if that isn't bad enough, you realize with a start that you've actually got more to worry about than just being embarrassed by their innate need to baby you.
They, you remember yet again. Plural.
You quickly fix your doomsday-esque expression. "Uh. No, no problem, just... I'm over-exaggerating, forget it, Somi, when you said they, how many are we talking exactly?"
"Seven," she says, like it's the most obvious thing in the world, and you fight to keep your shoulders from sagging. "The three from the car, your brother, and three others I don't really know as well, but who're all just as cute."
Seven. Which means Lee Jeno will be in the audience as well. You should've already known that, fully aware that wherever Mark goes Jeno will follow, but you'd been so startled by the change in attendance that you'd momentarily forgotten that you were pointedly avoiding one of that seven.
Great.
A click echoes over the announcement system. You recognize the voice that follows as the organizer of the showcase, the cheerful woman from the promotional video, happily informing all the performers to head to their greenrooms for final warm-ups before the show.
Well. Even if you wanted to mope for longer about your predicament, your mind switches lanes to the task at hand. Somi and Gawon both titter excitedly at the update, but make sure to quickly give their final reassurances about not worrying too much about the people in the audience and using that energy to give your all on stage. They’re right of course, and you probably would have come to this conclusion on your own once you swallowed your knee-jerk reaction to gripe about everything involving your brother and his friends, but you can’t say that their enthusiasm doesn't do the heavy lifting of bringing you back to earth.
You've got a competition to rock, after all. You could worry about everything else after.
Adrenaline made the hour-long showcase go by in what seemed like fifteen seconds. 
Just like that, a short chapter of your life closed with a bang; seven minutes on the stage, deafening cheers, Jiara and Guyeon pulling everyone into one big sweaty hug as soon as you were all out of the spotlight— then you blink and you’re in Gawon’s car with the windows down blasting down Gangnam on the way to Somi’s house, the girls in the seats around you singing along to the radio at the top of their lungs. The sun is setting, you’re heading to your celebratory afterparty, and what should be a picture-perfect moment is completely ruined by the fact that your mind has been in shambles for the last hour and a half. Why?
Because as you inch closer and closer to Somi’s penthouse, all you can think about is the fact that Lee Jeno is sitting up there biding his time before he can stomp your heart into a million more microscopic pieces.
What you didn’t mention about the moments after the performance was that, after rushing through changing out of your performance outfit to find your friends and get the hell out of there, you stumbled out of the greenroom to find a person. A person who was frowning out in the corridor like some sort of mopey ghost, Jeno in all his annoyingly perfect glory, caught mid-pace.
Upon seeing him your body rebooted, a hundred different emotions flashing through your system from the shock of him appearing in front of you at that moment. The only thing you had time to notice before his words ruined the rest of your afternoon was how… fidgety he was; Running his hand through his hair, rocking from foot to foot, crossing and uncrossing his arms over his chest. You’d always taken note of how still Jeno could be sometimes, not moving an inch for seemingly hours at a time, which was the main reason his current inability to stay still even caught your eye— but it was quickly overtaken by the utter despair you felt not soon after he caught sight of you and opened his mouth.
“Can we talk?” he’d asked. And he’d sounded so unsure of himself that you almost instantly crumbled to the puppy-dog eyes, before reality grabbed you by the neck and you remembered that talking to him was actually the last thing you wanted to be doing right now. 
“Busy,” you’d forced out. “My friends are waiting for me outside.”
But he must’ve seen this coming because he looked nonplussed as you took a step back, his own feet matching yours stride for stride, hands coming out almost as if to calm you like one might a spooked horse.
“It won’t take longer than a few minutes,” he tried, “Five minutes, just five. I just— I really, really want to clarify a few things from Saturday. What I said on the balcony.”
He said it like there was a chance you might’ve forgotten what happened, which almost made you laugh in disbelief. Like it was possible to forget that shitshow, your first love telling you that he was kind of interested in you once upon a time, but did nothing about it because your brother came first. Though, once you fully realized that he meant he wanted to talk about that right now, the moment lost its humor.
Now? Here? You glanced up and down the hallway. Your friends weren’t around, nor were his, but you were hardly alone.
“I wasn’t being entirely—”
“You're going to the party, aren’t you?” You cut Jeno off. Very unlike you when it came to him, and with the way he blinked you had a feeling he knew that too.
“The party?” 
“Somi said she invited you guys.”
“I— I wasn't sure you wanted me to come.”
“Somi invited you, Lee. Is that any way to treat your hostess? We can—” You swallowed. “Come by, and we can find a minute to talk then, but for now I really—”
“Have to go,” he finished with a small wince. “Got it.”
And once he’d metaphorically let you go, taking a step back to slip his hands in his pockets, you’d all but run away; finding Guyeon and Gawon waiting for you like they said they’d be, ready to leave and head to Alice’s house to pretty-up for the party in her gigantic flat. You were trying your best to keep up the energy when you got into the car with them, laughing along to their jokes and dancing along to the music, but you couldn’t stop thinking of what type of curbstomp Jeno was about to release on the suffering remains of your sixteen year-old feelings. 
Even up until the final touches of your make-up, you were commiserating. What the hell could he possibly want to clarify? 
Was he going to tell you to stop being weird around him and the others, because your mood was fucking up their vibe? To stop avoiding him so obviously, that it was as noticeable for everyone as it felt for you, that it was making it awkward for him?
Or could he mean that he was going to tell you he’d… misspoken? That he’d never really liked you the way you liked him, and didn’t want you to misunderstand— by interested in you he meant in the way all guys were interested in all girls, some lowly, surface level thing that he quickly got over when he realized his friendship with your brother could be jeopardized by it?
The last thought had stung a little more than the others, and you’d accidentally frowned so hard about it that it creased your still-setting concealer and had to wipe it all off.
After angrily redoing your base you’d forced it from your mind and got dressed, stealing a simple henley dress from Gawon’s closet upon realizing that you were not in the mood for sexy-cute like Somi had said the dress code was. Instead you opted for ‘hey, you can see my legs and that's good enough,’ and huffed your old leather jacket on top of it; the latter was sure to piss her off but she still owed you from the Mosquito Boy Incident, so she could kick rocks about it for all you cared. 
You had a feeling that no matter what you wore, tonight wasn’t going to be very sexy-cute at all.
The party is just getting into the swing of things when you make it upstairs. It’s like the explosion of a birthday surprise when you and the girls walk through the door. This party is technically a celebration, and you guess a lot of these people must’ve been in the Aegon audience without you knowing it, because you’re getting congratulations and kudos and pats on the back like you’ve just won an olympic medal.
But your pride is short lived, tainted by a bolt of nerves when you think you spot someone that looks like Donghyuck in your periphery. Where Hyuck is, Jeno will be.
It turns out to only be a very tall girl with a pixie cut who winks at you when you whirl your head to her, but the stress of it doesn't ebb away. God. Is the whole night going to be like this? Walking on pins and needles until he finds you?
“You know, new girl,” A voice starts at your side, startling you further, “Your ice breaker back at that my party could’ve been that you’re a kick-ass dancer, instead of that bullshit with the mosquitos.”
Wooyoung. Your friends are suddenly nowhere to be seen when your turn to him, clearly having fucked off into the mass the second alcohol became available, so it’s just the both of you hovering over by this snack table. Though this is only the second or third time you’ve interacted with him past a greeting (you see him sometimes on campus, and he always waves at you like you’re best friends when you pass each other), you’re actually rather soothed by his presence. 
“You wanted to know juicy secrets, not secret hobbies. If you asked me for an ice breaker and I told you I could dance, you would’ve kicked me out of that house.”
He laughs, a snickering sound, before eyeing two jello-shots a girl walks by with in her hands.
“Do a shot with me?” he pouts. “My friends are running late and I’m still painfully sober.”
A shot?  
...Hm. A shot. Inebriation. You’re not one to like straight liquor because the burn in your throat is often more than you think the gag is worth. But if you’re looking to relax sooner rather than later… the pain might not be without its merit. 
Liquid courage. Something you could definitely use right now, as skittish as you’re being. Maybe he’s onto something.
“Just one?” you pique, turning to survey the options. “Thought you were more hardcore than that, VP.”
One jello-shot quickly turns into four with Wooyoung involved, and your mouth is sweet with the taste of artificial dye by the time you actually spot Donghyuck, over by Somi’s balcony doors chatting up some pretty girl you recognize from your physical education class. The volleyball player. Xiaoting or something close, and you almost snort at the sight because she seems way out of his league. But he has a way with words that you guess you could be attractive when he wields it with flirtation in mind, instead of the intent to piss off like he always does with you.
The Smirnoff burning in your stomach must already be settling in because you only mildly bristle when you see him. Like you thought earlier: Hyuck is here, which means Jeno is here. And… and the Smirnoff must’ve already hit your brain, actually, because all of a sudden you’re feeling agitated and confrontational.
You don’t want to spend all night worrying about when he’s going to find you and drop the bomb. So what if he doesn’t like you! So what if he probably wants to forget the moment that happened out on that balcony never occurred at all? You lived your life without yearning over Jeno for years before you moved back here, so it won’t even be that hard to go cold-turkey when he says what he needs to and inevitably squashes the remainder of your heart in his fist. It’s fine. You’ll live.
You just need to rip it off like a bandaid first. And to do that?
“Hey, Woo, I think I need to go and look for somebody. You’re still down for that dance battle later?”
“I don’t play around with my challenges,” he says, grinning much too wide, “I’ll find you later, and then it’s on. Knock em’ dead, new girl.”
As bold as you suddenly are, you actually don’t want to go and interrupt whatever Donghyuck has going on just to ask him where Jeno is. So you’re on your own for a little, scanning the walls for him and the stupid clavicles poking out of his button-up, hair all windswept and eyes so dark. It’s nearly a minute of searching before you see something familiar— but it’s not exactly what you’re looking for.
Close enough, though. 
It seems like Na Jaemin has actually spotted you first, since he’s already heading towards you when you spot his head of pink darting through the crowd. You don’t fuss when he musses your hair and gasps over the competition, applauding you in that sickeningly earnest way he always has, since you’re used to his preening and compliments. Not to say you’re not appreciative. It always makes your face hot when he coos over you like this. But you’ve got a mission in mind, and fretting at him over the pouting and cheek-squeezing will get you nowhere.
“Yes, thank you, I did hear you cheering over everyone else at the end, no I wasn’t hiding my swag from you on purpose, thank you, you can stop pretending to cry now. Where is Jeno?”
The idea of you looking for Lee Jeno on purpose must startle him, because there’s a second after his clear offense at you brushing him off where he registers what you’re asking for and actually looks a little concerned. “Jeno? No-Jam? Why? Did he say something to you?”
“What? No, I just need to talk to him about something. Thought he’d be hanging around you.”
Imperceptibly, Jaemin lightens. 
“Oh. He’s downstairs hefting handles out of Somi’s car, because blondie forgot half the drinks in her trunk. He got volunteered by Chenle as Mr. Muscles and left with her like five minutes ago, so he should be back any minute.”
Damn it. Forlornly, you glance at the door, but there's nothing. No movement. Nada. There goes all your building bravado.
“But before he returns, young lady, should we talk about how that red tinge to your lips better be from the non-alcoholic jello-shots?”
Ah. Whoops. Not only no movement, but now you’ve gotten yourself trapped in the sights of Na Jaemin, who likes to pretend to be staunch on things like laws and teenage innocence and waiting to do things until the government says you’re allowed to. You constantly forget that you’re not yet the drinking age, because no college student handing out drinks at a party ever gives a fuck about the fact that you’re legally not quite legal yet. No other college student besides the one standing in front of you.
“You’ll stunt your growth if you drink before you’re supposed to!”
To this you glance at the cup he’s holding, clearly half full of something, and nearly go to laugh and ask him what his excuse is since he’s barely 21 himself, but then you think of something funnier. Without really thinking about it you snatch the cup from his hand and hork it down. Your eyes are locked with his the entire time so you get to see his surprise grow into shock, then expand into disbelief as you chug, and chug, and chug.
There’s a lot of… some peach flavored crap in here, burning like murder all the way down, to the point that you’re more bewildered than smug when the cup is finally drained because, “Fuck, Na, what is that shit? Are you trying to black out?” 
“Language!” he hisses, genuinely startled for the first time you’ve seen in a long time, which makes you laugh, “And of course not because that wasn’t mine, you little brat! I was holding that for Somi!"
“Oh,” you reply, only mildly shifted by this news. Sorry, Som. Now you know it must be peach Schnapps. She loves Schnapps. “What, so you’re not drinking tonight at all? Are you DD?”
“No! I’m not drinking, and I’m offended that you don’t already know I hate the taste of alcohol. Mark, who may I remind you is in this room and would’ve just shit himself if he’d seen what you just did, is playing designated driver tonight! He’s…”
And as he glances towards the kitchen you follow his gaze. You’re expecting to see your brother, most likely laughing over something his friends are saying, maybe even trying to dance-battle someone if he's having a particularly good time. Instead you see your brother chatting up Jeon Soyeon. 
Jeon… Soyeon. Nabi Bar, Jeon Soyeon. Who you haven’t spoken to or even seen since that awful night in Gangnam.
And you nearly gasp in terror at the sight.
Jaemin doesn't finish his sentence, and you dart your eyes to him when you realize this. He doesn’t look very pleased by what he’s seeing either, though you’re guessing for an entirely different reason than the one that’s just made you go cold.
“What?” you ask a little too quickly. The front door opens, which should be your cue to look for who’s just come in, but you can’t tear your eyes from the sight of Soyeon and Mark. What the fuck? What the fuck? “Do they know each other?” 
“Know each other?” Jaemin scoffs. “Hard to quantify.”
It would be very, very bad for you if they knew each other. Very bad. If not already clear, Mark still had no clue you weren’t where you said you were on the night of Nabi Bar. If she happened to mention your involvement in that shity, shitty idea, you had no doubt that Mark would go all holier-than-thou on you in front of all these people, and that you’d probably have to dive off of the balcony to escape the reaming.
He doesn’t look particularly comfortable, near pressed up against kitchen island because Soyeon is so close to him, hand rubbing at the back of his neck in that way you’re well aware means he’s getting flustered; but you see him laugh at something she says in the next second, and it doesn’t seem like his fake laugh. Mark’s fake laugh is terrible, and even from a distance you can spot it like the flashing lights on an ambulance, a beacon of distress just the same. So he’s laughing for real, at something… Soyeon is saying?
But you hardly recall her being very funny. 
“What does that mean, hard to quantify? Do they have history?”
“Something like that,” he murmurs. “Nothing you need to worry your pretty little head about. Anyway, I think Jeno is—”
“You never look at anyone with any kind of attitude, and just now you rolled your eyes at her.”
“I didn’t roll my eyes. I blinked. For a long time. Something in my eye. Dusty in here.”
“Somi has this place deep cleaned twice a week.”
He stares at you like he’s begging you to drop it. You stare back, unwilling. “You know, Na, the longer you stall, the more time that all this illegal alcohol in my blood has to make me more bold and reckless and unruly. If I don’t get an answer from you I might just go over there and ask her myself. How do they know each other?”
You’re bluffing, of course— there’s no way you’re about to go over there just to see what they’re talking about when you could safely squeeze that information out of Jaemin instead. In reality, you were only pressing because you wanted to know if they were close enough for Soyeon to know you and Mark were related. If not? Then perfect! You’d forget it all and be on your merry way, reverting back to your original plan of finding Jeno, because there’d be no chance Soyeon could spill the beans. 
But if Soyeon does know? You might have to leave this party a little earlier than scheduled. 
“You want the whole, grown-up truth?” Jaemin finally relents.
“Might I remind you for the hundredth time that I’m only a year younger than you?”
“A year and a half,” he acquiesces with a sigh, “And Jeon Soyeon may or may not have slept with your brother to get him to do their midterm project last year.”
It comes out like he’s reading the headline from a newspaper and you made the mistake of swallowing right before he opens his mouth, choking violently on your own spit. He pats you on the back as you hack and cough before continuing.
“None of us are really sure about exactly what really happened because Mark kind of shut down after, wouldn’t tell us anything. But it was pretty clear he liked her before. She’s kinda his type, you know?” 
Edgy, pretty, and fucking evil, yeah, after having to chase a few of them away in high school you’re well aware of his type! This was not what you wanted to know about when you asked if they were close! What the hell?
“He told us they’d gone all the way right before she asked him to do their entire music production project because she was too busy caring for her sick little sister. He, being the bleeding heart he is, pretty much refused to listen to us about how convenient the timing was; he even got mad when Chenle did some sleuthing and found out that Soyeon’s parents facebook, which was filled to the brim of photos of their family, didn’t have any trace of another kid in their midst besides her. Wouldn’t believe us until after the project was turned in, when he tried to meet up with her for weeks and she ghosted him every time.”
He frowns. “At the end of it, he wasn’t… It wasn’t good. He was pretty crushed.”
Now you regret chugging his drink for fun. Even before it you’d been feeling further than chill, pleasant and buzzing from your shots, well prepared for whatever hell was to arise with Jeno. Now you felt loose; too loose, fingertips tingling at your sides because of this news, heart pounding in your chest, body so warm from the alcohol that you felt like Jaemin would hiss if he’d laid a finger on your skin.
To play games with you, that’s one thing. But Soyeon has laid her hands on your brother?
“And, knowing all of that,” you say slowly, clearly, “You’re still letting him sit there and talk to her?”
“I want to kick her away,” Jaemin says flatly. “I’d be lying if I said I trust that girl as far as I can throw her. But it’s not really up to us to get involved.”
“Who is us?”
“His friends? I mean he was pretty clear when it happened that he did not want to talk about it—”
You bark a laugh, but there’s no humor to it at all. “So he can pout and gripe about the sanctity of discussing your problems with people, the embarrassing, the horrifying, but when it comes to him he gets to keep secrets? Forget how hypocritical that is, you guys are listening?”
Jaemin, finally, seems to catch the heat in your words. “Uh. He told… I mean, before you get all up in arms, she may be over there apologizing for all we know. Maybe she’s repenting.”
You both stare at her as she tips her head back in laughter, the salacious flirty kind where you’re more focused on being attractive than actually enjoying the joke, before she puts her hand on his chest in a, ‘Wow, you’re so funny, take me now,’ kind of way, leaning in to say something to him that she clearly doesn’t want anyone else to hear. Every hair on your body stands up when Mark doesn’t push her away.
He’s not seriously buying her shit again, is he? 
“Jaemin, are you willing to bet your life on that?”
“What?”
“Everything you just said about Soyeon. You know that for fact?”
“Well, no, Mark didn’t actually tell us about it so I can never be sure, but… but with what we could gather, it was pretty cut and dry. Chenle actually also found out she had a boyfriend at the same time she did all that stuff with Mark. We just couldn’t bear to tell him that after the fact, so we never… Hey, where—”
You’re sober enough to make it through the throng of people without stumbling, but not sober enough to fully anticipate what you’re really about to do. The goal is just to separate them, somehow, to get that harlot away from your brother, and then you’ll go and deal with Jeno. If people greet you as you pass you don’t hear or see it; all you can grasp is her, touching him, laughing with him, cheating, lying, people-using—
“Mark,” you nearly hiss, “I need to talk to you. Now.”
Mark jumps a foot in the air when you grab him but Soyeon, for some reason, doesn’t look surprised to see you in the slightest. She does, however, raise a sharp blonde eyebrow at your tone.
“What,” Mark splutters, “Right now?”
“Yeah,” Soyeon sighs, continuing to trail her eyes up and down Mark’s face instead of looking at you, “The grown-ups are talking, sweetheart. Can’t you give us a second?”
Mark turns back to the sensual softness of her voice like a moth to a flame, and you want to smack him. “No. Not a second now, not a second later, not a second tomorrow or forever. Now, Mark.”
And that was where you made the mistake that turned this whole night sour. Only when Soyeon realizes it’s her you have a problem with, catching on from the agitation in your tone that you’re not just here to bother Mark for fun, does she slide her unreadable gaze to you. 
“You know I haven’t seen you in a while, Little Lee.”
“For the better,” you mutter. “Seriously—”
“I was so surprised when Yuqi told me you two were related.” 
She’s talking to Mark but looking at you, eyes squinted a little, like someone analyzing a germ under a microscope. So she does know. Great. “I couldn’t believe that this girl was the same little star you used to tell me about when I met her. She’s grown up a lot, you know? Doesn’t take after you at all, Markie.”
“Soyeon,” you say again, “Let him go.”
“Why? So you can keep throwing your tantrum? Every time you open your mouth it gets harder and harder to see the resemblance. When you’re so…”
She doesn’t need to say it, and it’s honestly probably better that she didn’t, because you would’ve leapt at her if she’d gone as far as she’d been intending to dig with that comment. You’re aware you don’t resemble Mark, physically or otherwise— in accomplishment, in talent, in patience, in perfect unmarred reputation. You’re well fucking aware. 
“Soyeon,” Mark finally says, thankfully lurching a little in your direction like her evil witch's spell is finally wearing off, “I don’t think there’s any need for that, what the hell is going on? Do you two know each other?”
Soyeon opens her eyes comically wide. “You don’t know?”
And you feel Mark stop. What the hell are you doing, you want to scream. Why are you even pausing for this bullshit? Come on! But he doesn’t. He stands there and he stares at her, as if searching her face for any sign of truth, and Soyeon takes this as her cue.
“Little star is a big girl now! Her own fake ID, clinging along with her baby bottle to any club the adults want to go to, even catching her own ride home with any wasted guy that smiles in her direction! Don’t you live together? What a handful she must be if she can sneak out under your nose, Markie.”
The blood rushing in your ears makes it hard to tell if it’s only you that’s losing your hearing or if the rest of the people hanging around in the kitchen really have quieted to watch the rising altercation, but you don’t dare move your eyes from the girl to check. The baby bottle comment, outing your fake ID, all of that is rage inducing on its own— but it’s a cold, stomach twisting madness that grabs you when you latch on to the last part of what she’s just said. Catching your own ride home?
Was she referring to Yoobin?
Your fingers unfurl from Mark’s jacket.
“What do you mean, catch my own ride?”
Soyeon laughs. Under normal circumstances, it would be a pretty sound. “Did you think we didn’t see you leave? Blowing up our phones like there was some big emergency— We sent that guy out there to keep you the company you wanted so much, God, we got tired of babysitting you. You stopped calling and neither of you came back inside. What, cause your brother is here you’re going to try and soften it up now, huh? Tell us all you didn’t go home with that drunkard, when you love to tell people you’re no stranger to a bar?”
Yoobin, who grabbed you, touched you, tried to drive you home in his wasted state with clear intentions on what he wanted in return.
Yoobin, who Soyeon and Yuqi and their friends had sent, knowing you were panicked, knowing he made you uncomfortable, knowing you were looking for them.
Soyeon who stopped hearing from you and laughed it off. Soyeon who stopped hearing from you for days and didn’t bat an eye, knowing what she’d left you alone with.
Soyeon, who’s straight, pretty nose cracks under your fist in the same way Yoobin’s did, except this time you don’t run away when she screams and collapses and you realize what you’ve done. Except this time you hit her again— or you try to at least, lunging for her with your eyes ablaze, unsure what you’ll do when you get there but 100% sure it’ll hurt worse than a bloody fucking nose— but don’t quite get there, because someone has lifted you off the ground, two iron-bar arms wrapped like vices around your ribs, the worlds tightest back hug.
In your right mind you might’ve placed the sandalwood and the bergamot, or recognized the rolled up sleeves of his oversized button up, ivory and forest green, but as it stood—
As it stood, as you shouted and thrashed and fought, you only made out one thing.
Mark Lee, your own brother, helping Jeon Soyeon to her feet, two hands firm on her arms to hold her up; his surprised voice the last thing you hear before Lee Jeno hauls you out of that house.
“Wow, Soyeon. Is that true?”
(”Rockstar is going to wallop that girl,” Donghyuck mutters, staring at you like they all are from behind the pillar separating the kitchen from the living room, alerted to the worsening confrontation by a sheepish Jaemin.
“No she won’t," Jaemin tries, clearly feeling guilty, "She knows better than that.”
“She’s gone still. And I’ve never, ever seen her eyes that wide before.”
“That’s control. It’s restraint. She’s not going to hit her.”
Renjun, then, “If you really believe that then why do you look so nervous?”
“Her fist is balled up,” Jisung comments quietly.
“It’s restraint!”
“You weren’t there the day that she knocked the socks off of Park Gyubin, right? When he tried lifting her friend’s skirt up in the cafeteria?”
“She…” Jaemin glances at Donghyuck, “She’s tried to fight men before?”
“Tried to? I thought she was going to kill him. Y/N hit him so hard he had to get his retainer refitted. She’s got a right hook like her brothers. I bruise when she hits me, you know.”
Renjun again, “Why do you sound so proud of that?”
“She… Well, no, look, look! She let go of Mark. They have to be deescalating, she—”
“Does deescalating usually involve getting closer to the object of your anger?” Jisung asks.
“She—”
“Here it comes,” Chenle announces excitedly.
And then Jeno is across the room.)
Jeno realizes before you do that you’re not going back home tonight.
His apartment looks the same. Obviously. It’s only been three weeks since you were last here. Like before, Jeno doesn’t bother with the lights, kicking his shoes off in the entryway the same way, except this time you have two shoes of your own to place next to them instead of the sad and lonely single. Three weeks ago, but it feels like it’s only been a day or two since you did this whole song and dance; following him to the bathroom, sitting on the counter as he stoops under to rummage through his first-aid bin, gritting your teeth when he rubs your knuckles with the antiseptic, smiling weakly when he apologizes for the sting.
You’d cried in his car.
When Jeno carried you out of Somi’s apartment you thought the stinging in your eyes was just discombobulated rage. But when he set you down on your feet in the elevator and you began to come down from the adrenaline high, the burning just intensified as you understood what just happened. You’d only been able to keep the tears at bay until he told you to put your seatbelt on in his passenger seat and it all became too real. 
Though you’re not sober enough right now for it to feel like a problem yet, you know you’ll want to kill yourself tomorrow for allowing yourself to devolve in front of him like that no matter the circumstance. In the moment, you weren’t even entirely sure what you were crying about. Was it the craze of fury wearing off after punching Soyeon, and the jitters it left behind? Or the fact that even when Jeno was tugging you towards the elevator up there, you’d stood and waited for Mark to follow for nearly an entire minute, just for him to never come out? 
You’d like to chalk it up to adrenaline and inebriation, but deep down you knew exactly what it was that had your eyes brimming with those tears. 
He’d chosen Soyeon. The girl who’d lied to him, cheated with him, fucked him over for a grade and left you for dead on the streets of Gangnam, and he’d stayed in that house with her instead of coming out to check on you. And you weren’t really one to catastrophize, but how couldn’t that signal the definitive end of Mark putting up with your shit? The nail in the coffin of his patience with you?
You knew things had been rough lately with you moving in, the thread of butting heads over little things like curfews and the people you hung out with, but you hadn’t thought your relationship had deteriorated to the point that he’d ever… that he’d ever choose someone else. You’re his sister. No matter how mad he is, he’s supposed to choose you. 
But he didn't. And in Lee Jeno’s passenger seat, like a giant baby, you cried about it. 
In proper Y/N fashion the only thing that had chuffed you into sucking it all up and swallowing it into the depths of your soul never to be seen again, was Jeno’s building appearing on the horizon. The threat of him asking you if you’re alright and actually having to confront those feelings was terrifying enough to jar you out of your self pity.
But he hadn’t asked you about your red eyes. He hadn’t said anything, actually. He just tugged you out of the car and into the elevator. Herded you into his apartment. And tipped his head towards his bathroom just like before, except this time he was smiling. In the soft, polite kind of way that let you know he was well aware of what just transpired in his car, but was simply... letting it be.
(And you always knew Jeno was rather observant. But man, the thought behind that smile could’ve made you burst into tears all over again.)
On the counter, holding out your hand for the steps that would never come, you blinked back to the present when Jeno stopped at the healing salve. You’d been waiting for him to bust out the gauze again, already lamenting the next week of your life with the itchy fabric tight around your wrist, but all Jeno does is raise an eyebrow at you when you don’t hop off of the sink after he puts the kit away.
“What are you waiting for?” he asks.
You blink down at your hand, shiny with the balm, and then back up at him. “The rest of it.”
“The wrap? I didn’t think you needed it.”
“But that’s what you did last time I was here.”
“Because the last time you were here you didn’t know how to punch someone properly. It looked like you got her the right way this time. When I was tugging at that wrist in the elevator just now you hardly seemed to notice, when you could barely close your fist a few weeks ago.”
…Oh. Only as he mentions it do you roll your hand around in its socket, flexing your fingers under the bathroom light. Your knuckles look like shit, the newly forming bruises and angry skin, but it doesn’t actually ache like it did that night with Yoobin.
Well you’ll be damned. So straightening your wrist really does work.
“Oh,” you mumble. “I guess I don’t. Wasn’t really thinking about it.”
“Of course you weren’t. Probably thinking about what you wanted to eat, right?”
“What I— What?”
What you wanted to eat? When did you discuss that you were hungry?
“Heard your stomach grumbling in the car, so I’m assuming you haven’t eaten since before the competition. There’s a pizza place down the street that I think you’d like, a jajangmyeon shop too, but their delivery takes ages. It’s up to you.”
You stare at him, clearly not following. Jeno is relaying this to you like tonight was planned, as if it was always in the cards for you to be hanging out at his place tonight like a couple of pals, leaning against the door with his arms crossed, the perfect picture of normalcy. He thinks you’re going to be here long enough to eat? He’s not planning to have you shipped out of here in the next half hour?
But then you realize that there isn’t really another place for you to be shipped to. Mark’s apartment is… not really an option. The idea of going back there tonight almost makes your stomach roll, actually.
But if you don’t go back, that doesn’t leave much in the realm of locations to hide out at. Somi’s brother is coming home tonight, she’d squealed as much this morning, and considering how rare it is that he’s not busy in other countries you abhor the idea of intruding on their reunification. You don’t have many other friends here that you’re close enough with to just show up at their place at 10PM unannounced, not that you’d want to given that your little spat with Soyeon is probably all over everyones instagram stories right now, and is surely the only thing they’ll want to talk about.
You don’t have very many options right now. And Jeno probably knew that from the moment he decided to bring you here. 
“Thinking pretty hard over there,” Jeno hums, “for what is supposed to be a two choice question. Unless you don’t want either?”
“Pizza is… fine.”
“Just fine, or actually good? I can check to see if there’s any—”
“It’s good, Lee.”
He smiles like he’s got you in the bag, and then stands up straight. “I’ll order it then.”
You nod emptily and make moves to follow him out of the bathroom, right on his tail, which is why you nearly crash into him when he whirls back around to stop you. “Oh. Almost forgot.”
“What? Forgot what?"
But you only grow more confused when Jeno speeds off towards his room without replying. There’s a creak and a shuffle, doors opening and closing before Jeno returns with a bundle of fabric bunched up in his arms.
“Can’t imagine it’ll be very comfortable to hang out in that dress all night.” 
He holds out the mass; what appears to be a heather gray hoodie and black sweatpants that, even bunched up like this, still look miles too long for you. He sees you eyeing it and you fear he’s going to do something awful, like politely offer to go and get you something else as if he hasn’t already done a hundred other things for you tonight, so you quickly oblige. Once you relieve him of the pile he laughs, tells you he’s going to put the order in for the pizza, and closes the door on the way out.
You stand there unmoving for much too long, the heap of fabric clutched to your chest.
There’s so much to unpack. Being here again. The fact that he was supposed to break your heart today instead of doing all of... this. How casual he’s being about it all. The brother-slash-bestfriend shaped elephant in the room. The clothes.
But, for the sake of not collapsing under the weight of all of that turmoil, you decide to just focus on the latter; the most immediate and least heart wrenching of the bunch. His clothes. You’re going to wear his clothes. 
Yet another of your old dreams coming to fruition in this apartment. Lucky you.
Jeno is laying across the long part of the couch when you exit the bathroom, footsteps making no noise because you’re padding along on top of the ankle hems. He’s dressed differently too; gone is the jeans and the ivory button up, in its place a black long sleeve and navy blue sweatpants just like yours, except his actually fit. He’s texting furiously on his phone when you round the corner, eyebrows furrowed with something like irritation before he sees your looming figure in the corner of his eye and looks up.
"I put an X-Men movie into the DVD player," he announces, squinting back down to his screen, "Couldn't think of a better time than now to finally get into it, since you'll be here to explain all the things I don't understand..."
But he trails off as he stares at his phone, eyebrows furrowing at something before he frowns and stands up. The look is gone when you shuffle towards the couch and he looks up again, smiling at you like you like nothing is wrong, before he says, "I need to make a call though. Start the movie, yeah? I'll be back before things get interesting."
You stare at him. Probably shouldn't miss the opening scene if you really want to 'get into it', you nearly say. But you've been on this earth for long enough to recognize when someone wants a little privacy.
You want to ask if it's Mark. If he's the one Jeno had been messaging back so agitatedly just now. But the fear of it not being him, Jeno instead just trying to sort something out with like, a truant project partner or something, makes you stuff it down again. It'll just make you look even more pitiful.
"Sure. Most of the intro is fan service anyway."
He opens his mouth like he's about to say something else but then his phone starts to ring and he only smiles tightly at you instead. Then he's gone down the corridor, into his bedroom, and when the ringtone finally stops you can barely hear his voice much less make out what he's saying. Hm.
A different day and you might've snuck off after him to eavesdrop just to see for yourself. But after tonight?
You simply watch him go, and then tumble onto his couch with the exhaustion of someone who's just run up and down the building a dozen times.
You don't even have the strength to reach over for the TV remote; you just lay there and revel in the softness of the cushions, and at how tired you suddenly feel. Rehearsal all morning, giving it your all on stage, the energy-leeching atmosphere of a house party, the alcohol sagging through your veins. Not to mention the emotional confusion. Crying always takes it out of you.
So it's no wonder that you forgo turning the movie on to just take a moment to breathe in the pleasantly dark living room, closing your eyes for what you intended to be a brief second, just to gather the last bits of your patience and sanity for the night ahead... only to fall victim to what happens to most people when they say they're just resting their eyes.
You fall asleep. 
At least for a little while, you do. A brief, dreamless, blissful unconsciousness.
It’s so blissful in fact, that when you’re startled back to life by a knock at the front door a few minutes later— blinking the haze out of your eyes and seeing Jeno’s ceiling instead of your own, understanding with a sinking hopelessness that you’re not waking from a nightmare, that all of tonight has really happened— the dread is almost crushing when it all comes back.
But there isn't even any time to mourn. Because you realize that if someone's just knocked on the door, like the good homeowner he is, Jeno will be out here any second now to open it. He'll come out here and he'll see you and you'll be sucked right back into that nightmare, pretending like everything is fine when you both know that tonight was supposed to go so, so differently. Sitting next to each other and eating next to each other and attempting small talk for the sake of keeping things civil until you can escape this place in ten hours.
The idea almost gives you hives. You can't do it. You can't. There has to be another way. What if you make something up? A sore throat? A sudden headache?
But there's no time to think of anything fancy because in the next second Jeno's bedroom door clicks open down the hall, and panic flies up in your throat.
So you do the only think you can fathom. Before he can come around the corner and see you freaking out, you fling yourself back over and pretend to still be dead asleep.
As foolish as you immediately feel, it must work at least a little bit; you hear him come into the living room, hesitate, and then continue on past the couch on lighter steps as if worried about making too much noise. You even steady your breathing when he’s opening the door for the pizza guy— smooth inhale, smooth exhale, spaced just far enough to replicate what someone sounds like when they’ve been out for a while.
Shit. Will this actually work?
When he closes the door and the room falls to silence your heart picks up a little bit. What is he doing? Is he staring at you, trying to see if you’re faking?
Is he wondering if he should wake you up to eat? Oh, God! What if—
“Are you up?” he whispers. And you almost choke trying to swallow down the instinctual response that rises in your throat.
With surprisingly great effort, you do nothing. Say nothing. You don’t even stir. You just pray to whatever God is out there that Jeno will take the hint, eat his pizza at the kitchen island, leave you out here and go to bed. You get excited when you hear his steps again and think he’s going to pass the couch straight, but of course a second later you feel the couch dip somewhere off behind your back and you nearly curse.
“Guess not,” Jeno mumbles. "I forgot that you knock out so easily."
A few more seconds of what feels like an endless quiet, only his shuffling making sound; through your squeezed-shut eyes you see the light of the TV flicker like he’s just changed the channel, and with it you hear what must be the intro to a gameshow or something— excited chatter, ringing bells, audience cheers. But the volume is turned down so low that it feels like the show is playing in another room. Is he keeping the volume low because of you?
Is he… going to stay out here? 
“So you won’t mind if I think out loud,” he says suddenly, and your eyes nearly fly open in surprise. What? 
But he sounds serious. “Like a test run, almost. For what I wanted to talk about earlier at Aegon. Since I still don’t really know what the hell I’m going to say even after losing sleep over it all week, and I know you’ll try to stop me if you’re awake. I should just try it now, right?”
Try it... now?
Your fake deep-breathing almost hitches in panic when you realize what he’s getting at. Sweet God, please, no. What he wanted to talk about earlier? He wants to get into that now?
“Jaemin scolded me for springing it on you like that after your showcase, by the way. I didn’t realize that I might’ve cornered you until later and I’m sorry about that. I just really, really wanted to talk. Because I didn’t before, and everything got all…” he sighs, heavily. “I’m thankful that you told me to get lost earlier, because I think I can explain it better, like this. I can start from the beginning. I know how thorough you are about things like this.”
You hear the beep of a digital watch somewhere in his house as your face scrunches up in confusion. It's officially midnight, if the watch is making noise to denote the hour, but the realization of the time only comes second to the slow bewilderment slipping through your gloom.
From the beginning? The beginning of what? What the hell does any of that have to do with firmly rejecting you?
“Before we met, because of the way Mark talked about you, I had this idea in my head that you’d be some sort of perfect, flawless angel. That you’d be a little version of him; neat and proper and just a little bit naive, too nice for your own good. A rule follower.”
He laughs at this, a genuine laugh at the memory, and your frown deepens in embarrassment. “Then I actually laid my own eyes on you for the first time, and I realized I couldn’t have been more off.”
You remember it clearly, the first time you’d made a fool out of yourself in front of him and the rest of Mark’s friends. Fourteen years old, running inside the house after walking home from class with your own crew; you’d completely forgotten that you were supposed to bring your skateboard and a change of clothes to school because you all planned to ride around the park that day, the first warm afternoon after a mushy spring, and they said if you didn’t come back out in sixty seconds or less they’d leave you in the dust. So you stormed into the house, past the living room with all of them in it without even a glance or greeting since you hadn’t realized it wasn’t just your brother in there, hurled off your uniform in favor of your outfit staples at the time— an oversized tee that you stole from Mark, hand-me-down cargo shorts that also came from your brother’s closet, and your most cherished possessions: a Yankees baseball cap and your beat-up blue Nikes. 
But you couldn’t find your skateboard and the clock was running out, so you howled down the staircase, “If you moved my skateboard again from where I put it I’m going to kill you in your sleep!” only for Mark to shout back up, “It’s a tripping hazard! It’s in the hallway closet! And aren’t you grounded right now? Where are you even going? Does mom know?”
You hadn’t replied. Just snatched the board from where he said he’d stashed it, barreled back down the stairs, and was fully preparing to toss your brother some half-assed explanation, but then you’d seen him. Seen them. Mark’s new school friends, all lounging on your living room couch, staring at you as if you’d come into the room with a bomb. Lee Jeno (who’s name you’d only later find out) appeared the most stunned by your tornado-like appearance. 
You could only imagine what they were seeing. Some rowdy tomboy, technically on house arrest but running out to wreak havoc on the town regardless, threatening to kill people in their sleep for tidying up. Exaggerated, obviously, but you remember being mortified halfway to Sunday by how cute they all were and that this was their first introduction to you— and in that mortification, sprinting out of the house without telling your brother anything at all.
You’d gotten a good scolding for that later.
“And it’s going to sound kind of stupid,” Jeno continues, and if you didn’t know any better you’d think you heard the smile in his voice, “But because of that, I got this idea in my head that Mark must’ve only been seeing you through those rose-tinted glasses. The type every older brother has for every younger sister, the ones that make everything they do look cute and miraculous and perfect even if they’re clearly evil to everyone else. Not saying I thought you were secretly some sort of demon or anything either, ‘cause I know you’d roll your eyes at me right now if you could. Just that the girl I saw that day was nowhere near the delicate little thing he’d described. And I got... curious. I started wondering what you were actually like.”
Your face is getting hot again. You’ve never, ever heard him speak this much in one sitting, and the idea of him ever paying this much attention to you is mind boggling. But you don’t let yourself lean into whatever feeling of hope is whistling through your head. 
So what if he made a game out of trying to separate your real traits from the things Mark got wrong about you six years ago? Sometimes you liked to make up season-long dramas about strangers you saw on campus. It doesn’t mean anything now. 
You want to scrunch into a ball. You aren’t sure how much more of this monologue you can handle, even despite the consequences of rolling over and breaking the facade just to get him to stop. The heat in your face is spreading to your neck, your stomach, every inch of your skin, it’s making your stomach churn with discomfort. 
“But then the next year you came to our school,” Jeno says with finality, like this is supposed to be some important distinction. “And it stopped being as casual of an interest. The months went by and at some point I stopped looking for you just to see if you were doing something Mark didn’t know about, and started looking for you just because I wanted to know what you were doing. We’d come over for movie night and while Hyuck and Jae argued for hours about what they did and didn’t want to watch, I’d be wondering if I’d get to see you. You probably won’t remember this, but one of those nights I even ordered an extra curry bowl just so I’d have an excuse to knock on your door to tell you about it. And I thought that was a normal thing to do.” 
Jesus Christ. Do you remember? Of course you remember! You’d been reading at your desk with your headphones in, which meant Jeno had to come all the way into your room to get your attention— tapping the side of your earbud with two gentle fingers, laughing all crescent-eyed at you when you yelped in surprise. The sight of him in your room for the first time was like a grenade going off in your tweenaged mind; you’d had to calm down for nearly an entire minute before going downstairs to get your food.
“I thought it was just Mark rubbing off on me. He cared so much about you that I thought my sudden interest was simply overprotection by relation— that he was the reason why I couldn’t stop looking for you. ‘Cause in my mind it couldn't be anything else but brotherly. Mark was pretty clear about what he thought of the people that liked you so I knew it couldn’t be that; I wasn’t stupid enough to let myself be interested in you like that. Right?” 
He laughs again, but it doesn’t sound nearly as sweet this time. “I’m rambling, huh?”
Yes, you are. You are. 
“I’ll cut to the ending then,” he replies like he’s read your mind. “I realized I did in fact ‘like you like that’, at our graduation.”
And your eyes pop open. It’s completely involuntary, and if you’d been facing him you would have been screwed. But you’re still looking deep into the cushions of the black couch; wide eyes staring into a deep, dark, nothing.
“I hid behind that brotherly excuse for three years. My eyes followed you in the hallway because I wanted to make sure you were okay like Mark would’ve wanted me to. I offered to drive you home from school when he was busy because that’s what Mark would’ve asked me to do anyway. Everything I wanted to do I told myself I was doing because I was just a good friend. You know?” A beat passes before he hums to himself. “But I guess you don’t, actually. Because you liked me authentically, like you do with everything. The night of our graduation, the backyard barbecue your parents threw for us. You remember that, right?”
Duh. You’d bawled your eyes out on the front porch halfway through because only then did it fully sink in that they’d all be leaving you behind, these losers you swore you didn’t even like, before wiping your face and moodily rejoining the celebration.
“Jaemin and Donghyuck were having fun like it was their last day on earth. Even Mark didn’t seem too worried about the fact that we’d be leaving our whole lives behind in a few weeks when we drove off to SNU. I asked him if he was going to miss anything and he listed a dozen things, the friends of ours that were going to different colleges, his parents cooking, his backyard, his bedroom, his electric keyboard. And I remember feeling frozen when he didn’t mention you. In hindsight I know that it was probably because he’d still be coming back home every break, and you had a whole year of high school to finish so it wasn’t like you were going anywhere, but at the moment I felt like someone just yanked the blanket off of me. Three years of pretending and it only took one conversation for it to smash through all of that and hit me like a truck. If Mark isn’t worried about it, why the hell has the idea of leaving you here been haunting me for the last week and a half?”
Oh.
“It was then, I think. That I went, ‘Ah. So this hasn’t all been because of Mark, then,’ and everything I’d ever done under the guise of brotherly obligation popped into context all at once. And as if it wasn’t enough being in my own head, I was still in the middle of talking to Mark as I realized that not only did I like you more than I’d ever liked anyone— I was looking directly at the person who would surely strangle me to death if he ever found out that I liked you more than I’d ever liked anyone. So I pretended it never happened. I said ‘yeah, me too,’ the party ended, I went home, the summer went on, and before I knew it I was on campus and had a million other things to worry about. I saw how well you seemed to be doing when Mark would show me your Instagram posts, how much fun you were having, and I let that make me feel better about being such a coward. Over time, without you around, I convinced myself that things were better like this. That it never would have worked out anyway.”
There’s a moment of silence so utterly long that for a moment you genuinely think that this is going to be it. That he’s going to have said all of that and just… sighed, gotten up, and gone to sleep, leaving you alone to be in misery over what you’ve just heard until morning.
But that’s not it. He’s got a few more words for you. The worst of them all. A string of syllables at first, ones that instantly shatter every bit of emotional resistance you’ve built for yourself these last few days— and then a sentence that has your blood turning to ice in your veins when you realize what it means.
“But then you came back to Seoul,” Jeno started simply, “And a lot of things I thought I knew for sure don’t feel quite as concrete anymore.”
You inhaled. 
You exhaled. 
And tried to understand what the fuck that last part was supposed to mean.
But then before you could he continued on, his voice soft, casual, innocent. Too innocent. “Like how I used to be sure that you snored when you were sleeping,” he murmured. “Has it been so long that I've forgotten? Or are you not actually asleep, Rockstar?”
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[♥︎]: and there it is, folks! please leave a like if you enjoyed! it REALLY gives me the motivation to work on this faster!
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