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#i wanted 2 do a background 4 this but college and work have been kicking my ASS so
sapsolace · 3 months
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obsessed w these boneheads as of late :]
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buggyzwrld · 2 years
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moml (highschool AU! henry creel / reader) chapter 4
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chapter 4: know who you are at every age.
chapter namesake: know who you are at every age by cocteau twins.
*quick a/n: LMFAOOOO i am tired of long a$$ titles so i abbreviated it. also, thank you all so much for the reblogs, and feedback! i love to see comments, opinions, and thoughts on my work, it keeps me wondering if im doing an okay job at this.
this chapter was originally going to be muchh longer, but i decided not to. i was gonna post it after vol. 2 premiere but i was like nahh.. i pretty much have my own storyline and universe set for this fic, so there is gonna be some pretty big canon divergences in this fic, hopefully yall are okay with that lol. i might incorporate some things from vol.2 into later chapters, but we will see what happens tomorrow. omg im so excited. anyways, enjoy.
i need to make a masterlist for this fic, but here are the previous chapters.
*warnings: strong language, crying (LOL), your moms name is samantha, last name hughes, blah blah ok ok i hope you enjoy!
~
The next morning came with an air of opportunity and excitement. The sun rose, just as you did, shining brightly, fully rested, ready for a day full of confidence. The small rays poked through your curtains, kissing your face, as you opened your eyes, and awoke, you smiled.
You knew it was going to be a good day.
You were fully rested, studied, and you knew you were going to kick that ACT’s ass. Just as you promised your mother, you would get in that good, prestigious college, you would get that good, six-figure paying career, and move her far away from Hawkins, where she would no longer have to live the pace of the small town life, and run a family pizza parlor. You had big dreams, and you knew you were going to accomplish them.
 Feeling particularly giddy, you swung your feet over to get out of bed, stretching as you went over to your nightstand drawer, and pulled out a personal mixtape filled with your favorite songs. You would only pull out this bad boy when you knew you needed to up the ante for your ego. 
Loading the tape in your boombox sitting on your dresser, the first song, “Everything She Wants” by Wham! Jamming out of the speakers. Going into your closet, bobbing your head and shifting your body to the music, you picked a particular outfit, one that you wanted to reflect your mood. Finally, feeling satisfied with your choices, you jumped in the shower, all the while the music was still loudly playing in the background. You smiled at the thought of knowing your mom would come knocking at your door, complaining the music was too loud, even though she secretly enjoyed it. 
However, the knock never came.
As you got out of the shower and dressed yourself, you turned the music off, noting the eerie, still, quietness of the house. You looked at Luster, still sitting idly on your bed, by now, he would’ve been following your mother around as she fixed coffee and sat on the porch. 
“Ma must’ve had a late night, huh, Lusty?” You crouched down beside the bed and rubbed his head, him producing a small “mew.” You opened your door, walking out into your hallway, noting the deafening silence. Something just didn’t feel quite right. There was no TV playing the morning news, babbling on and on about small town issues, there was no smell of coffee, no chirps of birds as your mother always left the kitchen window open in the mornings. There was nothing. Absolutely nothing. The air was empty, devoid of any life. 
“Ma..?” You croaked through the thick silence, you slowly walked to the living room. The TV was off, its black screen reflecting you walking up to it, the couch was empty, the recliner, all of it, empty. The front door was shut, your mother was not out in her rocking chair peacefully watching the innocent nature play before her. The kitchen, too, there was no smell of the particularly pungent coffee she would drink, the frying pan she cooked bacon in yesterday still sitting on the stove. It was as if time had stopped completely in your little home. 
“Ma!” You called out again, feeling a drop in your stomach, you ran back to her bedroom, surely, maybe, she just slept in right? You busted through her door, your body feeling heavy, like a ton of bricks fell on you as soon as you saw her bed. 
Empty. Nothing. No one was in it. The covers, still pulled back like yesterday evening before she left for work. Her pillow still having the slight indentation on it from where her head lay. She never made her bed, she was too much of a busy woman for that, you always scolded her for it. Her bedside lamp was even still on. Now, you realized, 
She never made it home. 
“Ma… Ma..” Your voice started to crack as tears began to well up in your eyes, dragging over to her bed, where you collapsed at the end, knees on the ground and your face in the covers, “Please… Ma..” 
You began to sob like a baby who just lost their toy. You were at a loss for words, your mind rushing with the thousand possibilities of what could’ve happened to your mother last night after you hung up the phone. You felt immense guilt as you remembered hanging up on her before she could even say “I love you back,” you felt so incredibly selfish. You were worried about feeling rested for a stupid test, you felt so happy to go to bed, not even knowing what happened to your poor mother. 
“Ma,” was all you could utter through sobs of continued crying. Maybe she would walk up behind you and say, “I’m here, sugar,” rub your head and say, “It’s alright. Don’t you go crying now.” 
It never happened. All that you heard behind you was a soft “meow” from Luster, as he nuzzled up against your leg. Lifting your heavy head up from your breakdown, you looked down at him, with solemn eyes, “She’s gone, Luster.” 
Luster just stared back, though, with those full yellow eyes of his. He didn’t comprehend. How you wished to be him right now, the only concern of your life being eating and human affection. 
As you pet him tenderly, holding him in your lap, your eyes shot up at the bedside lamp that suddenly started to flick. Not flick regularly, it began to go crazy, like a wild bull at a rodeo.
“What the fuck..?” You whispered to yourself, suddenly Luster began to dart out of your arms, meowing aggressively at the lamp. Then, the ceiling light began to flick wildly too, Luster becoming increasingly more aggressive as the chaos ensued. 
“Shit!” You became scared out of your wits, your mom is possibly gone, now a fucking demon is haunting your house? Running to your room to grab your keys and bag, the flickering lights followed you, now your bedroom lamp began to flicker, in a wild rhythm, just like the other lights. You then ran to the kitchen, where it stopped momentarily, but you looked up at the parlor light as it began to go wild too.
“Fuck, Lusty!” You grabbed him, hauling ass out of the door, onto the porch, “We’re getting the fuck out of here!” 
Luster, however, had other plans, he jumped out of your arms and ran behind the house, disappearing off into the deep woods behind your house. 
“Lusty!” You screamed, but you felt no use in running after him, your energy drained after the many turns of events that happened this morning. 
You exhaled, plopping down on the porch steps, head in your hands and squeezing your temples, wondering what you are possibly going to do now. 
“Focus.. (Name),” You murmured to yourself, “You can’t let your nerves get the best of you like that, it isn’t what Ma would want…” Trailing off your pep talk, you lifted your head to look out into your neighborhood scenery, hoping to find an answer in the space in front of you. 
You knew out of all things, you had to go down to the police station and report your mom’s disappearance. You didn’t care if your mom had only been gone for 12 hours, it was out of character for her, you knew something had gone wrong. It was time for you to be a big, adult, independent (Name). You stood up, collecting your wits, you were going to put on a stern face, march down to the Hawkins police station, and tell Powell about your mother’s disappearance, clear and cold cut. Jiggling your keys in your hand, you walked towards your car, reading your watch: 7:55 A.M.  
You completely disregarded school.
                                                                    ~ 
Pulling your car into the smooth concrete parking lot of the police department, you turned your car off, putting your hands on the wheel, inhaling a huge breath. You exhaled, “Okay.. (Name).. You’ve got this.” However, your hands still shook, you were still at a loss for words from this morning, and your eyes were still puffy and red from the tearshed. Once again, you took another inhale and exhale, woo-saying as you got out of your car, and headed to the door. 
Before you could even open it, a familiar male figure opened the door instead, swinging to the outside. 
“Ah..! Samantha’s kid..” The male stated in a snarky-toned voice, his glasses sitting haphazardly on his face, “What are you doing here? Giving your mom trouble?”
“Officer.. Callahan..” You breathed, God you couldn’t stand him, especially since you knew he sucked up to your mom just because of his huge infatuation with her, “No, actually, this is more serious.”
Your serious face and tone gave him an implication to shut up with the jokes, Good going, (Name), that’ll keep his stupid mouth quiet, you thought to yourself.
“Oh… Come in then.” His tone became shaky upon seeing your expression, walking past him, you turned the corner to go to the front desk, when he put a hand on your shoulder. 
“Is she okay?” His eyes went wild with worry, his breath down your neck, “Your mom, is she-”
You interrupted him, it was a fresh wound for you, hot tears beginning to well up in your eyes, you turned your face to him, “Callahan, she’s-”
“Callahan, let the kid go.” You heard a stern, cold, monotone voice. Powell, you recognized instantly. His presence was commanding. The grip off your shoulder lifted, and you quickly wiped the forming tears out of your eyes, facing him with as much determination as you could for the given circumstances. 
“Hughes, what are you doing here? Something the matter?” He looked at you with a little concern, and you just nodded your head yes, barely able to produce syllables. 
“Alright, come back to my office,” Callahan began to follow you two, when Powell pointed a finger, “You, stay out here, I don’t need you overwhelming them again.” He scoffed and stomped off, murmuring something under his breath about a “troublesome kid.” 
Nervously stepping into the office, you gripped the bottom of your shirt tightly, as if you would fall into a million pieces if you let go of the fabric. Powell sat down comfortably, watching your nervous form with confusion, “You can sit down, Hughes.” He gestured to the seat across his desk, you obliged, sitting down slowly, taking a breath in. 
No one spoke for a few moments, then Powell cut the silence short, “So, what’s going on?”
You looked up at him, still gripping the bottom of your shirt, when you decided to let go, you can’t be scared, (Name), you’re here for one reason only, not to play around. 
“My mother,” You started, “She’s gone.” 
“What?” Powell questioned, his flat expression turning into a confused one, “What do you mean ‘she’s gone’?”
“She didn’t come home last night after work.” You looked down again at the floor, “She was already late last night, so I called her, she picked up, we spoke, said goodnight, and she never came home.” 
Powell’s eyebrows raised at your rather… simple explanation, however he got his notepad out of his desk and began writing. 
“And, what time was this?” He asked as he began to write scribbled details down. 
“I called her around 11:45 last night, she usually comes home around 10:30 after closing up shop.”
He nodded his head as he wrote down details, then asked, “Was she in contact with anyone that you know of before she disappeared?” 
“Um,” You tried to remember if she mentioned anyone, “She said she talked with Mrs. Karen Wheeler for a while before closing, which is why she was going to be late in the first place.”
“Did you… call the Wheelers?” He looked at you as if that was an obligation for you to do, you just shook your head no, feeling slight defeat rise up your neck. 
“Well, (Name),” Powell sighed, “It’s only been 8 hours since you last heard from your mother, we will look into it, but we won’t let it go public until she hasn’t come back for a day or so.” 
“What?!” You exclaimed, blurting your thoughts out loud, “Why? Why would you not let it go public? This is my mother, for God’s sakes, this isn’t like her to be gone even for 5 hours!”
Your anger seethed through your words, and Powell just kept his stern, straight face, “(Name), please, calm down… we have other cases to look into, your mother already reported dead animals around her property, we are looking into that, as well. Maybe it has something to do with this, like I said, we will look into it.”
You shook your head, look into it, you thought, as if it’s a neighbor filing a complaint about loud teenagers having a party every weekend.
“Shouldn’t you be in school, anyways? It’s 9:15,” He looked up at the clock, your stomach dropped to the ground, school…
Fuck, you forgot.
You hurried out of his office, hearing Callahan’s retort as you walked out of the door, “Get to school kid!” You offered him a middle finger, not even bothering to turn around to see his shocked expression, as if you had killed his dog. 
“I thought Samantha raised that kid better than that!” He looked at Powell, who just shook his head and walked back into his office, seemingly stressed with the situation at his hands.
“Fuck! Fuck!” You slammed your fist against the steering wheel, as you brung your forehead down on it. You were late for school, almost 2 hours, missing a test that decided your fate as a future committed member of society, or a failure wishing on a prayer for a better life.
Your shoulders dropped in defeat as you raised your head off the steering wheel, your eyes, red and extremely swollen, your hairstyle now messy, disheveled, as you had wrung your hands through it out of nervousness. 
As you crank your car up, you felt nothing but pure despair in the pit of your stomach, as you stared into the brown building of the police department. They were your beacon of hope, the trust dwindling away, and now you were slowly becoming lost on what to do about your mother. 
                                                       ~
You weren’t here.
You weren’t here, and that’s when Henry knew something was wrong. He looked up, turning his attention away from the test to your empty seat, the first hour passed, maybe you overslept? 
But then, the second hour came, and you still weren’t there, sitting in the seat beside him, acting like you didn’t want to talk to him, but babbling his head off. Henry put the top part of the pencil in his mouth, nibbling slowly at the eraser, dwelling on what could’ve caused you to be late. You took that ACT test too seriously just to miss an entire day of school, or even be late, and the anxiety began to build in his chest. He then turned confused, why did he care about you so much anyways? First, your expression after you saw the mauled animal, and now, you being late, something of your own consequences. Now look, you’ve got him strayed away from his test, not even focusing on what’s important. 
The sound of a loud door being slammed open led him out of his thoughts, everyone in the classroom directing their attention to the source of the disturbance. 
There you were.
There you were, standing, disheveled, panting, as if you ran the 100-mile marathon of your life just to get here. Henry took in your appearance, shocked, you looked… unsightly. Your hair was all over the place, your eyes red and swollen, purple bags forming under your face, almost an empty cocoon of what (Name) usually comes to school like. 
However, he became slightly excited seeing you, especially when you both made brief eye contact. Seeing your grotesque appearance, he wanted to do nothing but get up and go over to you, and ask you what’s wrong. He wanted to solve your problems, he wanted to be the solution.
Wait, what? He thought, pushing the ramblings to the back of his head, directing his attention down to his test, trying to prevent eye contact with you from happening again. 
“(Name)!” Mr. Brown exclaimed, “Are you insane?! Step out of the classroom, now!”
You sighed, rolling your eyes, turning around and waiting out in the hall for the angry, short man, not noticing Chrissy trying to make eye contact with you to ensure if you were okay. 
The next ten minutes went with you essentially begging with all your life to let Mr. Brown let you take the ACT, despite being late. You tried your best to explain your circumstances, without the grisly details, citing a “family emergency,” as your reason for tardiness. You weren’t exactly lying, you just didn’t want to cry again thinking about what happened earlier in the morning. He finally gave in, allowing you to go in and take the test, however saying he would report this incident to the counselor, fine, you didn’t care. 
You sat down, beginning your test, not even paying attention to Henry looking at you with an expression one could only identify as caring. As you were going through your test, you saw a small sheet of paper make its way into your vision on your desk. 
“Meet me in the courtyard at lunch.”
You turned to look at Henry, the obvious owner of the note, but he was back focusing on his test.
                                                                      ~
Lunch came, walking out into the humid air of an Indiana spring, you looked up at the sky, shielding your eyes from the bright afternoon sun.
It was a pretty day, an ironic shame of your ugly circumstances. 
You wearily walked over to the table where you and Henry sat last, sitting down, and sighing. Your body felt like it held the weight of a thousand burdens, which to you, it did. You felt guilt rising again in your mind, thinking of your mother, her voice, you didn’t even allow her to speak what would’ve been the last words you heard from her: “I love you too, goodnight, sugar.” 
However you pushed those thoughts to the back of your mind, seeing Henry’s figure come into view, you already felt like you knew what he wanted. He was going to ask why you looked so unfortunate, you knew, it was in his curious, but caring nature. You just questioned why he cared so much. 
He walked up to the table, sitting down across from you, giving you that thousand yard stare again, you just looked away, not feeling up to any particularly awkward advances today. 
“(Name),” He finally spoke, “Are you okay?” 
It was a plain and simple question really, but you couldn’t help but feel your chest become heavy again. The question was one that broke you into a thousand pieces all over again. 
“Yes, I am fine.” You lied with a shaky voice, feeling everything you’ve been through hit you like a train. That didn’t phase him to leave you alone, he saw right through those words.
“No.” Henry flatly stated, looking at you with a serious expression, “No, you are not. What is wrong?” 
That did it for you. You felt tears spilling out of your eyes, like a river bursting through a weak dam, your weak facade not able to conceal the sadness you felt. 
Henry got up from his adjacent seat at the table, and quickly sat beside you, awkwardly placing his arm around your shoulders. This quick embrace surprised you, you’d never felt touch like this other than from your mother, you just looked up at him with tear-ridden eyes. He just looked at you solemnly, as if he felt sorry for you, and you hated it. You hated appearing so weak, so defenseless, you needed your shell, your comfort, the facade you put on everyday to come back. However, it never came, and you allowed the embrace to happen, you melted into it. You dug your head into the slight cavity between his chest and armpit, crying harder into his shirt, and he never pulled away, he only held you closer. You pinched his shirt tight while releasing your emotions, breathing in his slight smell of fresh laundry detergent and subtle vanilla cologne, something that kept you gravitating more into his comfort. 
When you finished your small episode, you backed away slowly, his arms releasing you carefully as if you were a piece of porcelain glass. Looking at the mess you made on his shirt: tears, snot, and possibly other things you didn’t want to think about, you just uttered, “I’m sorry..”
“No, no, you are fine,” Henry rested his hand on top of your idly seated hand, another sign of his affection that you recalled. 
Embarrassment took over as you realized what just happened. You just confided in Henry Hopper’s arms. The boy that you swore annoyed you upon the day you almost ran over his sister. Even naming that stupid frog after him. Yet, here you are, weak, wavering, opening up to him, feeling your pride slowly suffocating.
Here you go again, about to make the puncture wound in your pride even deeper, “My mom, Henry, she’s …. She’s gone.” 
“Gone?” Henry looked perplexed, “She didn’t come home?” 
“Yeah, after closing her shop last night, she didn’t come home,” You breathed, adding, “I talked to her last, I told her I loved her, I hung up the phone, and I didn’t even give her the chance to say it back, I-”
“(Name). Breathe, again,” He squeezed your hand a little tighter, “You didn’t have any knowledge of this happening, okay?”
His voice was so comforting, like warm blankets after a cold day, he made the pain feel a bit easier, but even he knew the guilt wouldn’t go away that easily, you were too hard on yourself. 
You simply nodded, looking down at the ground, searching for some of your old humanity, but none to be found. 
“I told the police,” Henry looked at your face again, which was now hidden by your disheveled hair, “They didn’t seem too concerned. They aren’t going to let it go public unless she is missing for over 24 hours.” He didn’t say anything, just offering comfort physically by massaging the top of your hand with his thumb, an attempt to calm your now shaking knee. 
“Then..” Damn, you were just easily unraveling yourself to him, “The lights in my house..” 
Henry’s breath stopped in his throat, now looking with seriousness formed on his face. 
“The lights in my house are going crazy, flickering all over the place, like a ghost is haunting me.” Before Henry could question you further, a female voice called out your name in concern. 
It was Chrissy, walking quickly over to you, worry present in her endearing eyes, “Are you okay? What happened? Why were you late this morning?”
Questions, questions, too many questions, you thought, it reminded you of Callahan at the police station.
You turned to the side to say something to Henry again, but you were too caught up with answering Chrissy to notice his now empty presence. 
                                                              ~
After you confided in someone for the second time today to Chrissy, you walked to your locker to prepare for your final class of the day. You and Chrissy parted ways, promising that she wouldn’t tell a soul of your mother’s disappearance until it went public. You felt a little worried, but you trusted her, after all, you knew Chrissy was a genuine girl… 
Hopefully, you thought. Your mind then skipped back to Henry, embarrassment seeping into your face as you remembered literally screaming into his arms. It made you cringe, but you tried to be easy on yourself, you were going through something that the average human being didn’t have to deal with. 
Opening your locker, you huffed thinking about your boring history class, but your attention gravitated toward the ground as you noticed a piece of torn notebook paper fell out of it. 
Picking it up, you wondered who was being a stalker, turning it over, you recognized the neat handwriting.
There was a phone number. Words followed under it:
“Call me later. We need to finish our discussion. -H.”
~
the deyassification of reader
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lucidmagic · 1 year
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I posted 4,768 times in 2022
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#i have no preference but considering the lack of complexity most people write the family dynamic with i’m definitely intrigued by writing
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#5
Donna, when you come home from eating at Olive Garden:
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460 notes - Posted September 27, 2022
#4
Modern AU BusinessWoman!Alcina x PersonalAssistant!Reader (part 1?)
Not me getting another AU idea while I need to finish Phyto's Guide and wanting to expand on my Werewolf/Assistant!Reader story for Alcina 😭😭😭
(Please, don’t steal any of this.)
But anyway. . . here's Modern!AU BusinessWoman!Alcina x PersonalAssistant!Reader that I need to get out of my head and share:
Alcina Dimitrescu is the CEO/president/top dog of some sort of business (wine? real estate? record label? IDK I don't do business people), and has been so for the past decade or so.
She's a mixture of Miranda Presley (The Devil Wears Prada) and Cat Grant (Supergirl)-- some would say an absolute demon, others would say a big ole bitch, but there's no doubt she gets her job done and done right the first time. Very high standards, very efficient.
She's also 6'5"-- 6'9" in heels, which intimidates the fuck out of her insecure male coworkers all the time.
She also goes through assistants like bubblegum, not in the sexual sense, but in the incredibly demanding and near-impossible boss way. The longest someone has lasted with Alcina was five months. The shortest = 1 1/2 months. Her standards are that high. (As you can see I drew a lot from Cat Grant because I was in the Supergirl fandom for a while don't shame me)
She is also an incredibly devoted mother to her 3 daughters, aged 12 to 16 (ages pending) and she somehow balances work-life very well. And those who can look Alcina in the eye can tell her family means the world to her and it's likely the only time she genuinely smiles and laughs when her daughters are in the office or she tells a story about them.
Not that those in the office would know-- they don't meet her gaze lest they chance being turned to stone.
(There are also rumors she's related to Countess Elizabeth Báthory or even Vlad the Impaler himself, what with her Romanian ancestry)
Anyways, she has the world in her palms, uber-rich, super fucking hot, and could get anyone and anything with a flick of her wrist. Top of the line style. Heels and eyes that could slice. And yet, in desperate need of a competent assistant that'll last more than 3 months.
On the other hand, you are quite the opposite of Miss Alcina Dimitrescu: practicality over panache for fashion, rather wear pants and loafers than skirts and heels (more for efficiency and comfort than anything else), not really into flaunting what you got. You come from a simple background, never really had money, just enough that it kept food on the table-- especially when you had a falling out with your parents.
You’re frugal as well. Your clothes are at least two years old, you dare not to shop too much for yourself, as you’ve been insecure with money before because of your parent’s kicking you out. Your phone is too many years out of date. A small one bedroom apartment. You prefer glasses over contacts because contacts are too expensive and its cheaper to just wear glasses everyday.
And yet, you’re whip smart. Efficient, stubborn, and determined to boot if you have the resources. You managed to make your way through college despite your parents not helping and you managed to land a good jig as the assistant to Nepotism Junior, one where you can afford a good, single, albeit small apartment, and you have at least a comma to your name when it comes to savings.
But it’s hard-- especially when you’ve been doing Nepotism Junior’s job for over a year during the year and half stint at the company. Long arduous hours where you are not only doing your job but also his while he does god knows what. It keeps you busy yes, but it also keeps his grubby hands and prepubescent one-liners away from you. So you can’t complain that it is all that bad.
(There is other things that may bring Alcina and the Reader first together, but I don’t want to divulge it here) It comes to a head one day when some misadventures and drunkenness leaves Nepotism Junior down for the count for an important meeting with some head honchos at the company. So you stand before them, giving them a presentation on the work he’s (read: you’ve) been doing for the past month. And frankly, it is some of your best work.
There are little hiccups, mostly just reanswering questions that some old geezers missed the first time. And Alcina has been quiet, for the most part as well, only sounding when she wants you to clarify somethings in “Nepotism Junior’s” presentation.
Somehow you don’t turn to stone when you meet her gaze at the head of table. Somehow your voice doesn’t waver like it would normally do. You know what you’re talking about.
“Give Nepotism Junior our congratulations for his work and presentation. We have a feeling we’ll be moving forward with his proposal.” She says, eyes on you the whole time. You can’t help how your mouth twitches at it.
And they leave. You go back to your desk and continue with your work, while Junior sleeps off his hangover. And that’s that.
Until it isn’t.
Because next week, you’re suddenly transferred to the Alcina Dimitrescu’s floor and you’re now her assistant. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
To say you hit the ground running would be an understatement. It’s more like dropped in the middle of the ocean and expected to get to land miles way by a deadline, no boat or raft in sight.
The first week is hell. Week two and three is practically purgatory. And week four is back down to hell (you swear Miss Dimitrescu was testing you that week and expecting you to break under the strain, however, you’re fucking stubborn like a bull and won’t be pushed around by this entitled, snobbish, egotistical--)
The money is far better than before (like nearly double) and you actually do things in your job description (and then some). And you don’t have to deal with Nepotism Junior’s remarks and alcohol breath at 10am. So frankly, it’s a pretty damn good upgrade.
Week 5 is marginally better, things start to settle. Week 6 is when you begin to get Miss Dimitrescu’s temperament and routine predicted and you start to notice things you didn’t before.
She likes her coffee with two creams and one sugar one lighter days. One cream and no sugar on harder days. On Wednesdays she’s noticeably happier and more relaxed as you’ve learned that it’s her and her girls game night. Her brow creases in a particular way when she’s reading business jargon. It furrows in a different way when she has to read horrible drivel. She likes talking to herself through problems. She likes that you know what she’s talking about and sometimes bounces ideas off of you. When she likes your ideas she hums and follows up with it. If she doesn’t she sends you on a fetch quest.
Alcina Dimitrescu also has a horrible sweet tooth, especially when she’s stressed, and there’s a secret cabinet, you learned, where she keeps her stash. You walked in on her stuffing her face with chocolate one time and was nearly impaled with a fountain pen. (You make sure to keep it well stocked after that)
She’s a stern, but predictable woman. With moods you’re slowly starting to foresee even before 9:30am, before she’s half-way through her morning latte.
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462 notes - Posted May 15, 2022
#3
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There’s an abrupt clatter to the ground as a surge of something dark crashes into you, the journal falling abandoned on the ground. Pale hands slip out from between your bodies and come to clasp at your shoulders, digging into the material and muscle with determined strength. You stagger back as warmth blossoms as your bodies come together and Donna’s grip brings you downward and downward and downward. . .
Oh.
. . .
. . .
. . .
Oh.
The veil’s layered fabric crashes onto your lips and you gasp as you feel Donna beneath it. Her lips are pleasantly cool and oh so perfectly soft, even behind the cloth separating you. Despite the chasteness, a fervent fire ignites and radiates between where two of you meet, curling and spreading and utterly encompassing. She’s now a blaze you can’t control and have no care to. You’re being consumed. You’re being razed. Her breath is sweet, too sweet that it has your mind reeling and spiraling. Until thoughts slip away into blissful nothingness as she presses further in, sating all your worries and doubts.
The shock has you stiffen from her kiss.
Her kiss. Donna’s kiss.
Donna is kissing you.
-- Chapter 6, The Phytologist’s Guide to Falling in Love
___________________
Thank you anna-sassi-art for bringing this scene to life! Absolutely wonderful work and I’m practically shaking with excitement to share this commission everyone. Agh! So ecstatic!
It was also so fun to brainstorm a description for the reader and honestly I think now have a crush on them. Oops.
822 notes - Posted June 16, 2022
#2
Alcina: *takes a sip of Coke* *looks disappointed* *sighs* They just don’t make them like they used to…
Reader: “????? You mean with the actual cocaine?????”
Alcina: *visibly sheds a tear* yeah…..
1,092 notes - Posted June 9, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
The most unrealistic part of Stray is it’s an orange cat being Smart
6,487 notes - Posted July 20, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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southvvind · 2 years
Text
I read a quote about suicide. Some kind of test if you really want to kill yourself - go to the water, sea. Under the pressure of waves you will fight for your life to not drown.
It's an instinct, natural behavior.
And it gave me the idea for my art. Yeah, I have a grade in Fine Arts. All out of sudden i decided to go the artist way, just a month before final school exams. Having background of 4 years studying in music school, being school journalist for our paper and site (got kicked for roasting a "teacher". She was a disrespectful bitch), and, also I did some clay sculpting; I decided that I want to draw. Signed up for 2 week tutoring and managed to get into the college with scholarship.
After college of course real life hit me with deep depression and when I finally fought it, partially.. Went to work. It has nothing to do with arts. 2 years of office work got me so far away from creating. It been already 3 years after graduating and I just started drawing again. It's hard. So fcking hard to get my life together, to do all over again.
But yeah, I wanted to make a little collection of arts under the water. Maybe with a story behind. Humans body and water.. Isn't it one of the hardest things to start with? Perhaps I don't know this easy - normal - hard. Nothing between for me, please, I'd like to suffer.
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tarosin · 3 years
Text
the great adventures of y/n tommy tubbo jack and ranboo - how y/n made friends with everyone
this is an extra to the great adventures series
requested: yes/no
warnings: cursing
tommy
you were actually friends with tommy when he was streaming to a few viewers, and you even watched as his channel grew. eventually he asked you to mod for him, as he knew he could trust you and because had experience being a twitch mod. he was also the reason you began streaming. as for how you met, you were in the same classes as him in highschool, and since you were the ‘quiet’ person in the class, they sat tommy next to you. honestly, you hated him when you first met him and the feeling was mutual. you didn’t want to sit next to the rather loud teenager and he had no one to talk to anymore as his friends were on the other side of the room.
“do you ever talk?”
“heh?”
“i said do you ever talk...do you always do that”
“do what”
“that fucking HeH.”
“are you mocking me simons?”
“noooo why would i do that...”
“it’s y/n.”
“right, yeah, yeah, i totally knew that.”
“great now please leave me alone i’m trying to work.”
“loser.”
“the fuck did you just say?”
“nothing.”
it was that moment tommy decided he was going to make you just like him, and a few years later that’s exactly what he did. by year 11 you and tommy had grown extremely close. the last day of school arrived a lot earlier than expected, everyone was extremely stressed, no one knew what to expect or what was going to happen. you found yourself hanging around with tommy a lot more as you had no idea if you would both be going to the same college, in september you received a text message that made your night:
tommy: college sent out emails telling you if you were accepted go check
*2 minutes later*
tommy: well?
y/n: i got accepted
tommy: me too
y/n: call me right now
tommy: i’m about to stream..have you ever considered streaming?
y/n: absolutely not
tommy: make an account and stream after me i’ll raid you..make me mod you know how people can be
once college started up, you were slightly nervous the two of you would drift away from each other. however this was far from the case, although you both did different subjects and he was only in on wednesdays, the pair of you would hang out together a lot more. he would be in your streams and vice versa, you would either be in his tiktoks, or you would be the one filming them.
“y/n make a tiktok we can be mutuals.”
“please god no.”
you spent so much time at his house either talking about random things, playing whatever game you could find, or streaming. he dragged you to every meet up he went on, allowing you to meet people such as niki, phil, and, wilbur. you didn’t know this, but he would constantly bring you up in conversations with dream, which eventually lead to you joining the smp in october where you would later be able to meet the likes of jack, technoblade and jschlatt. the only person you didn’t seem to see on the server was his other friend tubbo.
ranboo
you had become friends with scott after being his first twitch mod and when he noticed you started streaming, he was extremely supportive, always raiding your stream once he ended his. today you found yourself bickering with scott because he wouldn’t let you in mcc despite the fact you were ‘the best minecraft player.’
“y/n, i watched you die in minecraft 7 times last night within 5 minutes.”
“oh i’m sorry mr perfect, let me in mcc.”
“no.”
“fine i’ll make my own.”
and that’s exactly what you did..well you tried your best.
you started your stream as soon as scott ended and had him call you on discord after explaining to your chat what you were about to do.
“scott final chance let me in mcc, i’ll settle for access to the practice server.”
“fine.”
“REALLY?!”
“absolutely not!”
“fuck you, ill be in it one day!”
you left the call telling chat you didn’t need that negative energy in your life.
you really have scott to thank for you making friends with ranboo, scott made a tweet explaining what you were doing on stream which caught ranboos eye.
Smajor1995: after not making it into mcc again my good friend @y/n has decided to take it upon themselves to make their own on stream!! ill also be in the stream (if they answer my calls) *twitch link*
ranboo joined your stream and was instantly met with you yelling at scott (again) to let you in mcc.
“IM YOUR TWITCH MOD!”
“i will ban you from mcc!”
“you don’t have the nerve... so he left the call this is bullshit watch me land this water bucket clutch down this ravine so we can find axolotls and build an army.”
*you died*
you pulled your hood over your face before sinking down your chair taking a deep breath.
“FUCK!”
you calmly got back up and looked into your camera.
“i was so close, so very close.. HEY CHAT SCOTT SENT ME A LINK TO THE SERVER!”
a few minutes later you were able to get onto the server, only to be kicked less than a minute later. the reason you were banned being ‘i watched you fail the water bucket clutch down a ravine.’
you continued your build on your server and just spent the rest of the stream talking about anything that crossed your mind, that was until you decided to copy ace race. once finished, you looked into your camera and pulled your microphone closer to you.
“so this is race ace, so scott doesn’t sue me, and basically it’s going to be this course, but i’m going to change a random section practice it every day, not tell anyone it changed. of course i’m going to tell my team we have to win, oh fuck i forgot scott was watching my stream..it’s okay he didn’t hear me he’s too busy planning how he can rig the next mcc.”
ranboo found himself enjoying your content and even noticed you in his chat multiple times.
“just a minute chat i’m just sending an important dm to my mods.”
that’s when you noticed chat paused for a minute after you sent a message, it confused you for a minute before realising ranboo made you a vip on his channel and you decided to do the same for him on your channel, from there you added each other on discord. the pair of you made friends extremely quickly, you were constantly part of his streams as you would call him on discord not realising that he was streaming.
“hi y/n, by the way i’m streaming”
“i just wanted to ask if you knew how to break into a house?”
“....why”
“i locked myself out by accident and my parents are asleep come help me.”
“you are in the uk.”
“okay? catch a flight.”
chat honestly loved you and your friendship with ranboo. the pair of you only met a few weeks ago and you were already acting as though you had known each other for years.
jack
you and jack met for the first time on the smp, which would have been fine, however you met during lore and your characters weren’t exactly the best of friends. once lore had ended, everyone said their goodbyes and left the call. a few moments later you received a discord message from jack asking if you were available to call any time soon. since you were back in lockdown, you had plenty of free time. you arranged a time and date a few days later you called jack, where you had your first proper interaction out of character.
“hello jack!!”
“oh hi y/n i just thought it may be a good idea to get to know each other, well you know considering we’re both on the dream smp.”
“yeah, yeah, i understand what you mean.”
the pair of you ended up getting along with each other, it was slightly awkward for the first 5 minutes of the call, but that was expected since you hadn’t really met jack before and were anxious to call him. however, after that the conversation started to flow and you found out the pair of you had a lot in common making it easy to come up with things to talk about. it ended up feeling as though you were catching up with a friend you hadn’t spoken to for a while.
“has anyone told you your accent is really strong.”
“so is yours, y/n, what the fuck is that supposed to mean.”
“it means your accent is strong, duh.”
jack asked if you’d like to stay in call and join him on the smp whilst he streamed, and you gladly accepted the offer as you really didn’t want to do your college work, and you were enjoying your time with him. a few minutes into the stream jack had killed you several times.
“JACK STOP KILLING ME!”
rather than answering you he just sat laughing. he then went on to attempt to mute him microphone, he failed. however he didn’t realise this, so you sat listening to his plan on how he was going to kill you again. this time you were prepared, you sent a message to tommy telling him to log on along with your location. few minutes later tommy was by your side and helped you kill jack several times for revenge.
“Y/N...TOMMY!!”
“you didn’t mute your mic, so i told tommy you were bullying me.”
“im gonna go...BYE JACK, BYE Y/N, ILL SEE YOU SOON!”
“i can’t believe you.”
“hey you’re the one who didn’t turn your mic off.”
“how did you know?”
“i had your stream on my other monitor.”
“ayeee you watch my streams?”
“...i’ve been a sub for 4 months.”
the two of you stayed chatting and playing for another hour. the pair of you were already so close and you had only met each other the other day. this was just the start of your friendship, soon enough you were in a laugh and the stream ends challenge on his stream, however due to lockdown rules this was done over discord leading to you accidentally leaving the call several times.
“and they’re gone again!”
*4 minutes later*
“SORRY JACK IM BACK!”
“stop leaving y/n!”
“oh i’m sorry, let me just go yell at my wifi to stop cutting out!”
a few seconds later you could be heard faintly in the background screaming at your wifi as it would continue to buffer. as soon as restrictions were over one of the first things you decided to do was go to jacks and stream a laugh you lose where there was a punishment if you were responsible for losing the last heart. however everything was apparently hilarious in person as you would constantly laugh, meaning you were responsible for losing the last heart.
“y/n give me your phone.”
“no.”
“you lost let me tweet from your account”
“fine..”
soon enough your fans and friends with your notifications on received this twitter notification
“y/n: jack is so cool and funny he is also really tall i am not”
tubbo
tubbo was actually the last person you met and made friends with, your community were convinced for some reason that you both didn’t like each other and that’s why the pair of you didn’t talk to each other. this was far from the case you were both waiting for the right time, tubbo was an extremely busy teenager and you didn’t want to interrupt him, and tubbo knew you were currently in a stressful position since you had recently joined the dream smp, also you were still meeting people so he didn’t want to stress you out. this doesn’t mean he didn’t want to be your friend, he actually asked tommy since he had been your friend for at least 4 years what would be the best way of getting to know you.
“mate they hated me when we first met, just talk to them or something. you could have met them the last time i went up to visit you, but they ended up not feeling too good and went back to the hotel room.”
“when are you next coming up?”
“how about next week, and i’ll bring y/n, i really don’t understand why you’re nervous tubbo, it’s y/n they wouldn’t hurt a fly..well hmm.”
“see you next week then!”
a week later tommy dragged you to the train station.
“uh tommy where are we going?”
“...on a train.”
“no way, really? oh my god!”
a few hours later you finally got off the train.
“ill go with my dad to check into the hotel room, do you want to come with us or?”
“i think i’ll go for a walk and stretch my legs.”
“right okay, meet you at the beach later”
you spent a few minutes walking around the beach picking up any rocks and shells that caught your eye, little did you know it would result in you meeting tubbo. once you finished putting your new collection in your pockets you noticed a small crowd of people walk up to someone asking for pictures assuming it was tommy you walked over to the boy, it wasn’t tommy it was in fact tubbo. at first you stayed silent not wanting to really cause attention to yourself. you only spoke up when some people started to make inappropriate comments towards him.
“oh sorry to be a pain guys me and tubbo have plans with tommy in a few minutes, we should go so we’re not late. bye guys.”
you smiled and waved as they walked away. you looked over to tubbo, you could tell he was still pretty anxious about what just happened and honestly if you was in his position, you would react the same way.
“we should probably move from here incase they come back and see you’re still here, are you okay?”
“im feeling better now it’s over..thank you”
“oh it’s no problem i’m, y/n btw.”
“wait you and tommy were still meant to be on the train.”
“the train was actually on time, tommy went to check into the hotel i wanted to stretch my legs, i also wanted to collect some rocks.”
“did you collect enough or did you want more?”
“im not going to say no if you wanna go collect some with me.”
the pair of you walked around keeping each other close incase the people from before returned. half an hour later, the pair of you sat on a bench close to the beach so you could show tubbo everything you decided to pick up, he ended up keeping a rock he liked to have as a memory. tubbo wrapped an arm around you as it was getting cold whilst you watched the sunset.
“tubbo i think tommy forgot about me.”
“you can spend the night at mine, i’ll send him a message to let him know.”
“are you sure?”
“of course!”
“this has to be the most unsafe thing either of us will ever do, we hardly know each other and now i’m staying at yours.”
tommy sent you a message explaining that he didn’t forget, there was a problem at the other hotel and they had to go find another one, but you’ll be fine to stay at tubbos for the night. the pair of you spent the entire night learning as much as you can about the other person. it had only been an evening but you already knew the pair of you would be great friends.
taglist:
@dumb-chaotic-bi-energy @uselesssapphickitten @l0ver0fj0y @etheriaaly @xx-smiley-xx @hawarun @kylobensgirl @cawcaw-pretty-thing @reverse-iak @renleicrashed @c1loudee
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linasobsessions · 3 years
Text
Are you sure about that? OR 4 times you were just a hookup + the one time you weren't {Matthew Tkachuk}
AN: First time writing on this blog after probably one and a half years. But this idea just kinda stuck in my head
Word count: 3.2k
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1.
Hooking up with Matthew was easy. The first time he took you home was after a night out at a local bar with his teammates, just having won an important game and being a step closer to clinching a playoff spot. You had been out with your girlfriends trying to escape the stress of college exams.
You already had a couple of drinks and since your friends were much wilder than you, you decided to get some water to sober up a little. At least one of you had to stay conscious this time and not black out. Waiting on your drink you tapped your fingers on the wood of the bar to the beat of the music playing in the background when you felt another person sliding in next to you.
Deciding to ignore it you took your water that was finally handed to you. You pulled some bills out of your pocket to pay but were stopped midway.
"Put it on my tab."
The deep voice left a shiver down your spine as you turned your head to look at the man next to you. The first thing you noticed was the curly blonde mop of hair on his head, wild and tamed at the same time with racing stripes shaves into the sides. You let your eyes wander to his face, over his sharp, scruffy jawline to his clear blue eyes. His lips wore an smirk that made you want to roll your eyes at him as the next sentence left his mouth.
"Are you Tennessee?"
He went back to smirking as you only raised your left eyebrow. He leaned down so his mouth was close to your ear, making sure you heard every word he said. This could either go really good or really bad.
"Because you're the only ten I see."
Now you did roll your eyes. And it seemed like he was enjoying that he was annoying you. You leaned back to get more distance between the two of you and looked into his eyes. They shone with mischief and you made it your mission to put him in his place.
"Did this line ever really work?"
He shook his head and looked down at the beer in his hand. You noticed his hands fidgeting around the bottle. Was he nervous?
"No. But I thought someone like you would be annoyed at a line like this. And I was right. You see, it's kind of like my job to get under people's skin and it seems to work outside of that too. I'm Matthew."
He held his hand out to you. And as much as he annoyed you, you were intrigued by him as a person. He seemed like someone you had to get to know. So you accepted his handshake and told him your name as well. Back was the smirk on his face and you knew another remark would follow.
"It fits. A gorgeous name for a gorgeous person."
Your head snapped down in an attempt to hide the blush that was spreading over your cheeks. Grumbling a 'shut up' while shoving his shoulder. That pick up line started out an amazing conversation and at the end of the night you and Matthew were like old friends. During the conversation you switched back to cocktails so it was no surprise that you were getting more affectionate. While Matt was telling a story about how he beat up his younger brother Brady when he was twelve you couldn't help yourself to reach your hand out and run your hands through his curls. It was incredibly soft and your sexual frustration made you wonder what it would feel like to tug on it while his head was between your legs. Matt seemed to notice you starting to press your legs together to relive the pressure between your legs. Back was the smirk of the beginning of the night as he rested his hand on the top of your thigh and leaned in again. Your noses were brushing and if one of you moved only one inch your lips would touch. It made you restless.
"You wanna get out of here? My apartment is just around the corner."
You nodded and he paid for the drinks and pulled you outside to get to his apartment. The rest of the night was spent kissing each and every inch of skin with hands roaming around each other. Your bodies were moving in synch and if wouldn't have felt so amazing you might have been worried about the fact that his body felt familiar to you already.
When you were done he fell into the pillows next to you, both of you panting heavily. Assuming this would probably be a one time thing you got up to clean yourself up in the bathroom before starting to get dressed. Matthew lifted his head and looked at you through half-closed eyes. As he noticed you were getting dressed he sat up and fidgeted with his hands again.
"So this might sound weird. But can we do this again? I had a really good time tonight and I feel like we could be really good friends."
Confused by his words you raised an eyebrow for one last time that night. His face now wore a smug smile as his thoughts seemed to have traveled further.
"And the sex is great. So it would be a win-win situation for us. I just can't do a relationship right now and it would be cool if we'd have a casual thing."
As you shimmied back into your jeans you let out a giggle. And then you noticed your blouse on the floor. Ripped. He really had ripped your favorite blouse. Your eyes searched through his bedroom to find something else to wear. And you were successful. Grabbing the Grey hoddie laying on the floor and pulling it over your head you turned back to Matt to give him a cheeky grin.
"Well since we're friends now you won't mind me taking this, do you? Give me your phone so I can put my number in there."
He handed you his phone and you saved in your number with a wink emoji next to it. You gave it back to him and pressed a kiss on his cheek.
"Until next time Matty."
And you were out of his apartment.
-----
2.
The the next couple of month the hookups with Matthew became more and more regular. But you also became really good friends. You hung out at his apartment a lot and you could talk about anything and everything for hours. The flutter of your heart and the butterflies in your stomach when you were with him were blatantly ignored. You couldn't afford to fall in love with him. He had been clear from the beginning that he wasn't looking for a relationship so you granted him his wish. That didn't mean that your heart didn't ache when his phone lit up with a text from another one of his hookups and he was quick to kick you out of his apartment. Not that you would ever tell him that though.
Even when you now were considered close friends it still surprised you when Matt invited you to a team party. They had clinched a playoff spot and were now celebrating it. At first you didn't want to go. You didn't know any of his teammates and in no way wanted to intrude on their celebration. But Matt had insisted.
"Come on, babe. I need you there. You're on of my closest friends. It wouldn't be the same without you."
Babe. That had been a nickname he began using for you. It didn't help the feelings blossoming in your chest. It made it even worse. And that's also what made you break in the end.
The amount of people in Mark Giordano's house was overwhelming. People were crowding around a beer pong table and you could see some space had been made in the dining room to have a dance floor. Matthew pulled you into the kitchen first. He knew you weren't that great with new people and really shy at first. So he would get you a drink to loosen up and make you more open. While your drink was strong he just grabbed himself a beer and pulled you further to the living room. He soon found Noah and Jonny who smirked as they saw him approach with you holding his hand. Noah saw this as an ultimate opportunity to tease Matt.
"Oh would you look at that! Chucky got himself a girl. About time!"
Your cheeks glowed with a blush while Matthew only laughed and made sure to disagree with him.
"Noah shut your mouth. This is my friend (Y/N). I told you about her."
You looked at Matthew with wide eyes. He had told his teammates about you? What else had he told them?
Noah and Jonny introduced themselves to you and before the conversation could start up again a brunette head full of locks pushed themselves between Matt, Noah, Jonny and yourself.
"Matthew you brought someone! We seriously need more girls here. To even out all this testosterone."
You blushed yet again. Why would they not stop assuming you were together. The girl grabbed your hand and gave you a bright smile.
"I'm Meredith, Jonny's fiancé. Come on. I'll introduce you to the rest of the girls."
Before you could say anything else, Meredith had already pulled you away from Matthew. The rest of the night wasn't as bad as you would have thought. The girls were incredibly nice and with a couple more drinks in you were dancing with all the girls. It was a fun time.
Something you didn't notice though, was that Matt was keeping an eye on you the entire night. And it was so blatantly obvious to everyone else except for you two. Jonny nudged Noah when he noticed Matt looking after you yet again.
"Just a hook up my ass. Look at him."
------
3.
Sadly the season had ended sooner for the Flames than they would have liked. Being eliminated from the playoffs in the first round wasn't a great feeling and it was showing. The whole city felt like it was in a slump. You could only be thankful that Matt was back in St. Louis so he wouldn't have to witness it. Even if you missed his presence.
Back in St. Louis Matthew was also missing you. He had gotten so used to talkinh to you so often and spending time with you as much as he could that he swore that he was experiencing withdrawal symptoms. He constantly checked his phone to look if you had texted him and was looking through old photos of you. And again. It was incredibly obvious something had change.
Brady thought his brother was sick because he wasn't chirping him as much anymore. But then he heard Matt talking to you over the phone. He had never heard Matthew talk so soft with someone. Usually it always was snarky remarks and sometimes even straight up rudeness. But this was something else. Compliments, encouraging words and even the phrase 'I miss you'. There had to be something up with him. So he brought it up at breakfast the next morning.
Everyone else was already down at the kitchen table. Brady and Taryn were eating breakfast while Keith was reading the daily newspaper and Chantal making herself breakfast when Matthew came down. He looked like he had just rolled out of bed, which he did. What his family didn't know tho was that he had been on the phone with you for hours, even falling asleep on facetime at about 3 am. Matt rubbed his eyes as he pulled a bowl out of a cabinet and made himself some cereal. And Brady, on brand with he was, saw the perfect opportunity to embarrass his big brother.
"Matt, who were you talking to last night?"
Matt's head shot up so fast it was almost impossible. The kitchen went silent as four pairs of eyes were now on Matthew's face. He felt a blush creep up on his cheeks. Chantal narrowed her eyes at her son's blushing cheeks. He never blushed. Not even when he was young and had his first crush on a girl. Never. So this was news to the whole family.
"Uhm-"
Matt brought his hand up to scratch the back of his newly cut hair. You had scolded him last night that he better get back to clagary with curls or else. You were about as intimidating as a playful puppy, but he would never tell you that.
"I talked to a friend. She's back in Calgary and going through a tough time with college right now. "
Now Taryn's eyes were the ones narrowing. Damn those Tkachuk girls and their true suspicions.
"A female friend? Is that even possible for you?"
Matthew rolled his eyes. Of course his sister would eventually chirp her brother. He should be used to it by now. No family member is safe from chirping. Maybe their mom. But otherwise no one.
"Yes a female friend. We only hooked up a couple of times. She's just a friend that I have fun with from time to time."
The whole family except for Matthew let out a groan. No one wanted to know what or who he was doing in his free time. But Brady was still not convinced with that answer. There had to be something else.
"I don't belive you. You would not be this soft for someone who is just a hook up or a friend. There's no way."
Matthew tilted his head at the statement of his brother as if he wanted to challenge Brady.
"Well she is. Don't put your nose in my business."
-------
4.
The emotion in the locker room were going wild. Defeating the leafs was one thing but defeating them at home with a shutout was something else. Matt had scored a goal so it was understandable he was over the moon. As they started to get out of their gear Matt looked at his phone. Just as he had expected it showed a text you sent immediately after the game. A smile lit up his face.
'Congratulations Superstar. You played a good game today, that goal was incredible. I'm so proud of you. Btw thanks for letting me stay at yours. I would have never been able to concentrate with my roommates at home.'
Gio, who had been aware of the situation with you both, noticed him looking down at his phone. It was as if Matt had heart eyes. And he had been observing the pining for too long. He had to say something.
"(Y/N) texted you?"
Matt looked up from his phone and at his captain. He nodded with the smile still on his face.
"Yeah. She congratulated us on the win and thanked me that she could stay at my apartment."
Now it was Gio's turn to look confused.
"Wait -. She's staying at your apartment? Why?"
Matthew shrugs as if it's the most normal thing in the world.
"Yeah. Her roommates are always incredibly loud so when exams are coming up I let her stay at my apartment. She can concentrate better then."
Gio shook his head, not believing what he was hearing. And he's had enough. It was about time Matthew realized what was on front of him.
"Are you sure she's just a hookup? Well friend with benefits or whatever."
Matt nodded, completely sure of his answer.
There's was no way you were more than a friend, was there?
"Well it seems different to me. You spend like all your free time together. You bring her to teamparties and then watch her so nothing happens to her. When we're on the road you're constantly texting and she's staying at your apartment while you're not there because she's studying. Sounds a lot like a committed relationship to me. Figure it out. Before one of you gets hurt."
It was like an enlightenment for Matt. He realized that every little thing had first been done because of the connection you both had. That connection had later been turned into love. He had fallen in love with you without even knowing it. But he was sure that you felt the same.
He couldn't wait to get home to you. The whole flight back to Calgary he had been antsy and was fidgeting with his hands. Something he knowhe had done since he met you. You made him nervous.
He opened his apartment door to find you sitting at the kitchen table with your laptop and books scattered all over it. You were still studying. With long strides he walked up to you, something you haven't seen him do before.
"Matty what -"
You couldn't even finish your sentence before his lips were on yours. His hands cupped your cheeks as you clutched onto his wrists. Still overwhelmed with that kiss you couldn't bring a word out. Matthew could.
"I am completely, utterly, stupidly in love with you. And I know you feel the same. I'm so sorry that I'm such an idiot and didn't notice before."
With a small smile you moved your hand from his wrist to his cheek as you pulled him to you to kiss him yet again.
"You're right. I am absolutely in love with you too, Matthew Tkachuk."
------
+1
You were back in the bar you first met Matt. It brought back good memories and you couldn't wait to make more. Different to that, you were now out with the Flames and the other WAGS to celebrate an important home win. You and Matt were sitting in a booth with Jonny and Meredith as you and her were talking about the wedding preparations she had made. Matthew was talking with Jonny about something completely different but the slight glances and his hand on your thigh made you aware of his constant presence and his protective nature over you. Not that you were complaining.
After you had talked about the wedding bouquets her and Jonny had chosen, you turned to Matt.
"Babe, I'm gonna get myself something to drink. You want something?"
He shook his head and pecked your lips.
"No baby, I'm good. You go ahead."
You made your way to the bar and ordered something to drink as you felt someone tapping your shoulder. Assuming it was one of the WAGS you turned around with a smile that quickly fell when you saw the stranger before you.
One thing you could describe him as was sleazy. He had gelled back hair and his smirk was probably supposed to ooze confidence. For you it just made your hair stand up. And not in a good way.
"Hey. You alone here? I can show you a good time."
He moved closer as you pressed yourself against the bar and were looking around for your boyfriend.
"Actually-"
You didn't have a chance to finish your sentence as you heard the voice of your boyfriend freeing you from this suffocating and uncomfortable situation.
"Hey! That's my fucking girlfriend, you dipshit!"
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tom-holland-parker · 3 years
Text
Begin Again
Summary: 8 months after you broke up with Peter, you finally agree to meet up with him, but you’re still unsure if he deserves a second chance
Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!reader
Warning: none
Word count: 1409
Masterlist
Notes: Wow another fanfic inspired by a Taylor swift song (did you honestly expect something different coming from me). Anyway this is Part 2 to “The Moment I Knew” which you can read here. Also shout out to @hommyy-tommy for asking if there's gonna be a part two because once they asked about it I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Side note: If you’re ever in The West Village in Manhattan I 100% recommend eating at Bus Stop Café, they have THE BEST bacon egg and cheese and don’t even get me started on their orange juice. Plus the people who work there are SUPER NICE. I pretty much spend every Saturday in the summer there and it’s really worth it.
You took a deep breath as you looked in the mirror. You couldn’t help but second guess your outfit as you adjusted your dress. “Maybe it’s too much” You shook your head, “I’ll wear sneakers instead” 
“What’s wrong with the shoes I picked out?” Wanda asked, watching as you moved back and forth from your closet to your mirror. “He hates it when I wear heels”, you shook your head again in frustration as you looked through the piles of sneakers you had, “He knows I’m clumsy so he gets scared I’m going to break my bones if I wear them” 
“Since when do you care about what he thinks?” Nat asked as you put on your black vans. You didn’t really know how to answer that question. It had been 8 months since you even talked to Peter. You ignored him for the rest of the school year and spent the summer vacationing through Europe so you didn’t have to see his face. You both ended up at the same college but lucky enough you had different majors and hardly ever saw each other. When you received that phone call last week you nearly threw your phone out the window. You couldn’t stop repeating that conversation in your head. 
“Don’t hang up” He said as soon as you picked up. You took a deep breath, “What do you want?” 
He sighed in relief, “I know you probably hate me right now but-” he paused trying to find the right words. You paced back and forth in your room trying to relieve the sudden anxiety that had built up inside you. “I wanna see you, I wanna try and explain, maybe make things better between us” 
You remained silent trying to process what he was saying. “Hello?” he asked, disappointment filled his voice. “I’m still here” you whispered, “Fine, next Wednesday, Bus Stop Café, how’s 5?”
“Yeah 5 is great” You could practically hear his smile through the phone, “I’ll see you then, bye” 
“I don’t know Nat” You sat on your bed, rubbing your temples in hope that it’ll relieve the headache forming in your head, “I just thought if I didn’t see his face, the problem would go away” You felt Wanda rub your back as you pulled you in for a hug, “Sweetie, sometimes you just need to face things head on”
You sighed, “I don’t think I can do this” 
“You got this kid” Nat said as she crouched down in front of you, patting your leg, “On the plus side you can always kick his ass and he won’t stop you”. You chuckled as you checked your phone for the time, 4:20, “I need to be in leave now if I'm going to make it to Manhattan on time”
///
You’d always been the type of person to take everything as a sign, maybe that’s why you became extra nervous when you noticed the rain outside. Maybe it was the universe telling you this was a bad idea. Happy dropped you off earlier than you expected but you didn’t mind, it gave you time to prepare for what you were going to say. “I’ll call you when we’re finished” You waved goodbye as you walked into the warm café. 
“Still using Happy?” You jumped when you heard Peter’s voice coming from the table next to you. You stared at him for a second, the fact that he was early took you by surprise. If you were being honest you expected him to be late. He stood up, pulling out the chair for you as you walked towards him. “If I didn’t he’d be out of a job” You smiled awkwardly as you sat down, “besides getting my own car would require me being able to pass a drivers test”
“Well you always were the bad driver”, Peter smiled as he sat down, his fingers fiddling with the straws, “I ordered your usual. I hope that’s okay”
You nodded your head looking around the room. You weren’t sure why you had chosen here, it was the place you and Peter had your first date. Maybe after talking to him for the first time in a while your brain subconsciously chose the place where you first fell in love with him. Funny enough it was in the same booth.
“So how’s school?” You asked, ignoring the thick tension that was growing between the both of you. “Oh schools great, engineering is kicking my ass but it’s fun, How are design classes?”
You shrugged wondering how he knew what classes you were taking, “They’re good I hate my professor but it is what it is”
“Alright we got one large plate of fries, one bacon egg and cheese with extra ketchup, one grilled cheese with avocado and tomato” the short waiter places the plates on the table, “and two large cups of freshly squeezed orange juice. Let me know if you guys need anything else"
"Thank you" you both said as the waiter walked away. You sipped on your drink as awkward silence filled the room. The fact that you were the only ones at the café didn't help. Maybe you should've chosen another day, at least then you'd have some background noise to distract you.
"So how was your Christmas?" Peter asked as he took a bite out of his sandwich. "It was fun. Finally convinced dad to buy everyone matching pajamas" you chuckled, remembering how annoyed your father was at your constant begging. "And you? Did May force you to watch love actually again?"
He rolled his eyes, "yes and it's still as boring as I remember". You laughed, "I could say the same about star wars"
He gasped sarcastically, "I see you still have terrible taste in movies"
"I'm just saying" you smiled, "all those movies and not one of them are good". He rolled his eyes, "you haven’t even seen all of them"
"That's because I've seen enough bad ones to know there isn't a good one" You laughed, watching as he rolled his eyes. You always loved to annoy him with your, in his words, terrible opinions. 
He smiled reaching across the table to grab your hand, “I missed your laugh”. You pulled away, looking down at your sandwich, not sure how to respond to him. Peter took a deep breath watching as you stuffed your mouth to avoid the conversation, “Look I’m sorry if I could go back and change it all I would”
“But you can’t” Your foot tapped on the ground nervously. He let out a heavy sigh, “I called you because I wanted a chance to explain myself”
“Well-” you sipped your juice, “Explain” 
“I let everything take over my life, The suit, the responsibilities. I was blinded by everything that I forgot the important people in life and I didn’t realize how much I was pushing everyone away until I lost the person who meant the most to me. Those 8 months were hell for me because i didn’t have you” 
“For months I thought you didn’t love me anymore”, You bit your lip, looking down to avoid eye contact. “No it’s not like that” Peter reached for you hand again, “I loved you, I still love you” 
You looked up, watching as his face turned pink with embarrassment. “Peter-” Your voice was barely above a whisper, “I can’t do this”. You stood up quickly, leaving 20 dollars on the table before rushing out the café. 
“y/n wait” Peter shouted chasing after you, “Just let me make it up to you”. You shook your head not bothering to look back at him. It wasn’t hard for him to catch up to you, you cursed yourself for being a slow runner. He grabbed your elbow gently pulling you to face him.
“Just give me a second chance” he said with pleading eyes. You stared at him for a second debating what to do. If you were being honest with yourself, having Peter back in your life was something you really wanted but you just had a hard time admitting it. You let out a deep breath as you rolled your eyes, pulling him in for a quick kiss. “Don't think because we’re back together that I’m not mad at you” You whispered as you pulled away, “You still have to make it up to me”. 
He smiled giving you another kiss, “I think I can handle that” 
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wavyhairedbabyy · 3 years
Text
Idiots - Part 1
Karl Jacobs x gn!reader
tldr: They’ve both got a crush. Sucks, since they’re the only ones oblivious to it. (Slow Burn!)
CW: some swearing(not at each other), fluffy as a teddy bear.
a/n: I got a random influx of followers ;-; Tysm for enjoying my works and sharing them. I haven’t written in 6 years, in case it wasn’t obvious lmao, so even one is super meaningful to me :) this ended up being way longer than I intended it to be so I’m splitting it into 2 parts. 
edited yet: yes - let me know if I missed anything!
Part 1 - Part 2
Y/n and Karl met when Karl was still going to college in New York before dropping things to move to North Carolina. They met the fall of their sophomore year at the campus café when Karl was trying to shoot a piece of paper into a trash can. The problem was he couldn’t aim and it landed right in y/n’s mug of coffee, quickly dissolving into a paper coffee soup. For anyone else it would’ve been okay but being that coffee was y/n’s life line, especially during finals, it most definitely was not.
“You’re buying me another, right?” they asked, “I would highly recommend it or you might see a side of me you don’t want to see.”
Being the good guy he was, and the slight fear of their bad side, he did with no questions.
“So, since there’s a side of you I don’t want to see, and I bought you a new coffee, do I get to see the side of you that I do want to see?”
“Find me next semester and you might.”
And he did.
***
“Karl, if you don’t give me that sword, I’m going to hurt you!” Y/n screamed as they lunged toward him. It was y/n, Karl, and Chris hanging out at Karl’s place until it was time to leave for a Mr. Beast project. They sat in his living room, Karl with a foam sword that y/n was desperate to take from him.
“That’s the problem! If I give it to you, you will hurt me with it!” He yelled back, jumping out of their reach.
“Okay children, why don’t I just take the sword so we can end all of this?” Chris intervened in an attempt to stop the ruckus.
Both of them paused, looking at him in disbelief. They shook their head and in unison scoffed, “No!”
The two continued their play fighting, one holding on to the sword for a short period of time before the other pulled it from their grasp. This went on until it was time to leave the house.
While this was all going down, Chris watched Karl’s behavior. He noticed how he let y/n hold on to the sword a little longer, even when he could’ve easily reached out to grab it from their hands. He noticed how he was much more careful with his movements, almost scared to be too rough with them.
With anyone else, Chris knew Karl’s pride would have taken over in this situation. He thought back to any other time he had any of his SMP friends over. With Nick or Alex, he would have hogged the sword and brutally whacked either of them with it as much as he could. He would happily tacked them and pinned them to the ground. With y/n though... there was a gentleness with them, and Chris did not fail on picking that up.
“Okay lame-os, let’s get on over to the warehouse. Y/n, you coming?” Chris asked.
Y/n shook their head, “Nah. I’m gonna unpack my stuff and relax from the flight. Plus, word on the street says that tomorrow is when the cool stuff is happening so I’ll come then.” they replied.
“Well the street is right, but they’re still a dummy,” Chris looked at Karl for reference.
“Hey...” Karl faked a sad look before staring at y/n for defense.
Y/n giggle and just shrugged, waving goodbye to the both of them, “If you don’t bring me back Burger King fries, don’t bother coming back at all!”
***
Chris and Karl sat in the car, Chris driving and Karl in the passenger seat. With some music on in the background, the two were discussing the plan of action for what was going to be filmed for the day.
“Do you know how long it’s going to take?” Karl asked, “I feel bad leaving y/n by themselves so I want to try to get out as early as humanly possible.”
“I’m not really sure. I’m sure Jimmy wouldn’t mind you scootin’ out a little early,” Chris replied. He took the opportunity and leaned over to his friend, “Speakin’ of y/n, anything going on there? Y’know, anything special?”
“Uhh- whaddya mean special?” Karl haphazardly, “We’re best friends. I think that’s pretty special.”
“No, idiot. I mean is there anything there besides just being best friends,” Chris paused for a second, “I dunno. I just noticed you’re different with them, man. You know you would never treat Nick or Alex the way you treated them.”
Karl paused, trying to think of a response but failing. He sighed, “Yeah, there’s definitely something there on my end. I mean, I’ve been attracted to them since we first met. I just don’t think they reciprocate it.”
“You never know if you don’t try. What’s the worst that can happen?”
“I’d rather not think about it,” Karl sunk into his seat, thinking of all the bad endings that could happen if he told y/n his feelings.
***
Meanwhile this was happening, y/n was making themselves comfortable in Karl’s guest room. They planned on staying for a week and a half which meant packing a month’s worth of clothes. Before starting to unpack their things into the dresser, they FaceTimed their other best friend that was back in New York to keep them company.
“You’re calling me now? Your flight landed 4 hours ago! I was sure you crashed in the middle of the ocean - gone like that Malaysia flight,” y/bff answered.
“Hi to you too,” y/n responded as they started to place their clothes in the closet, “ You are so dramatic. My flight didn’t even go over the ocean. And don’t act like you weren’t tracking my flight. You knew damn well I was fine.”
“All this worrying and caring, and this is how I’m being treated?” Y/bff shook their head as the wiped their fake tears away “The disrespect.”
“Pft, the only disrespect I’m seeing here is the lack of questions about my day,” y/n said, “I had a great flight. I got those yummy blue chips and had a nice drive from the airport in a Tesla.”
Y/bff gasped, “What kind of Uber driver is driving around a Tesla? We need more of those people up here.”
“Dude, it was Karl,” y/n replied, “I was shocked. Last time I saw this kid he was driving a hunk of junk. One year down here and he’s driving around like he’s Elon Musk.”
“Well, I’ll tell you this now. If you don’t cuff him, I will!” Their laugh echoed through the phone
Y/n rolled their eyes, “Oh please, if he doesn’t like me like that then you’re in no good luck.”
“So you told him then?”
“No, not yet,” y/n paused, “I dunno. We’ve been friends for 3, almost 4, years now. If he liked me, he would’ve said something by now. Plus we live so far away from each other now. I just don’t wanna ruin a good thing, y’know?”
“Well, I still say do it. You can tell him and spend your life in peace knowing his answer, or keep it to you yourself and spend the rest of your life wondering ‘what if?’ And I’ll tell you now, the latter always ends with regret. With the first answer, you’ll at least have a chance of a happy ending.”
Y/n shrugged, putting away the last piece of clothing from their luggage, “I know, I know. I’ll think about it. Thanks for the chat, but I’m gonna go relax now before he gets back. I love and miss you already.”
They exchanged their goodbyes and hung up. Y/n flattened their luggage and slid it under the bed. Moving back to the dresser, they found some comfortable clothes to change into after a shower.
Y/n knew y/bff was right. They just couldn’t bring themselves to share their feelings. What if Karl didn’t feel the same way? Would it ruin their friendship? Would this be the last time they ever saw each other? No, y/n knew it wouldn’t end their friendship, but it would make it awkward for a little while. They moved to the bathroom. Maybe a shower would help them compose their thoughts.
***
“I’m back!” Karl shouted as he kicked the door shut behind him. The project took a few hours so the sun had set and nighttime was settling itself in North Carolina. There was no response. Karl continued, “And I have Burger King fries!”
“You should’ve started out with that! Coming!” Y/n yelled from down the hall. Karl rolled his eyes and walked over to the living room table. He started making room for the food when he heard fast footsteps coming toward him.
“Incoming!” Y/n yelled, tackling him to the floor with a hug. They were giggling as if they just pulled the best prank in the world.
“Hi to you too,” he groaned from his body hitting the floor. Y/n continued to chuckle as they got up, grabbing Karl’s hand to help him up too. They sat on the couch, looking at the food in front of them.
“A whole whopper meal? What did I do to get the honors, Mr. Jacobs?” Y/n remarked in a posh accent, popping a fry into their mouth.
“You existed,” Karl giggled out. Y/n smiled, but the butterflies in their stomach couldn’t feign their excitement. It was small shit like that that made y/n fall for Karl. He continued, “Plus I didn’t know if you ate or not so I thought better safer than sorry.”
“Aw, you’re the sweetest,” they gave him a tight hug before returning to the spot they were in on the couch, “So, what’s the plan, Stan?”
“I’m kind of tired from filming, I hope you don’t mind-”
“Actually, I completely mind” y/n replied sarcastically. Karl shook his head at them.
“So, I was thinking we could just watch a movie or watch a show,”
“Ah yes, head empty activities. I’m down. Can we watch a movie though? Not in the mood for a show right now,” y/n replied.
“Sure let’s scroll through and find something,” Karl switched on the TV and the two munched on their food while they decided what they were going to watch. After 20 minutes of scrolling, which really was 20 minutes of fighting over who had better taste in movies, they finally agreed on Wall-E.
Before the movie started, y/n looked over to Karl. Their hands were in the shape of finger guns, pointed to each other and the tips of their index fingers touching. They had a pout on their face when they asked, “Can we cuddle while we watch?”
“No,” Karl shook his head quickly, keeping a stoic, straight face. Y/n’s pout got bigger. He continued, “I absolutely hate physical touch.”
They both immediately broke out into giggles, y/n grabbing the nearest pillow and smacking him with it, “You are so lame.”
Karl continued with his fit of giggle, “The day I say that and mean it is the day hell freezes over.”
As the intro to the movie played, the two came closer, y/n’s legs tangling up with Karl’s. When they finished up their food, they moved closer with Karl’s arm around y/n’s shoulders and their head laying on his chest.
Y/n gave a playful scoff, reminiscing on their past memories together, “This reminds me of the time we had a Disney movie marathon before spring break.”
Karl laughed, “Yeah, and you made my old roommate cry beforehand because he wasn’t doing his dishes all semester.”
“In my defense, I gave him warnings. He didn’t wanna listen and there’s no way I was letting you live in a house with a sink full of fruit flies.”
“I’m not sure if you did that for me or because you practically lived with us.”
“Don’t get it mixed up, pretty boy. That was for you.” Karl smiled at those words, looking down at the person laying on their chest. He wanted to believe there was more than friendship behind those words. The warm feeling he would always get with them filled his chest as he turned his focus back to the movie.
“I really missed you.” He whispered.
“I really missed you too.”
***
Part 2
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thevirgodoll · 4 years
Note
hi! i was wondering if you have any tips to stay organized and stay on task? i’ve been doing a short online course this year and have really struggled to ACTUALLY bring myself to do the work, as assignments and lessons are not under any time constraints i just don’t do it. i also have adhd so get bored or distracted easily. do you have any tips for me?
This is really close to me because I also have ADHD. I have both inattentive and hyperactive type. *As a result, this academic tip guide will be a guide for people with ADHD and not neurotypical people, without disability. There is a difference.*
I am doing online as well this semester.
1. I create a schedule. If I do not create a schedule, I will be unproductive the entire day. So, what will help you is to do things in orderly fashion.
For example, at 12p - I will do this assignment/watch this lecture. You have to dictate what time you’re doing everything. Then, you also have to block out technology distractions while you are working. 
-> Even if you’ve gotten halfway through the day with no schedule, write down or block off times on your digital calendar for what you are going to do at each time. ADHD is easier to tackle if you break things down into smaller tasks.
*Pro tip that I almost forgot: before you do anything, wear your day clothes. Don’t wear pajamas. Actually getting dressed or even doing hair/makeup changes things.
2. Download the Forest app after you have created your schedule. I consistently recommend this because it works in increasing productivity. It allows you to set it for however long you’re doing this task, say 30 minutes.
-> Why?: It will block all apps on your phone for (insert time here) to plant a tree, and if you leave the app your “tree” will die. Eventually, the more sessions you do, the more points you will gain to plant different plants, and eventually plant real trees around the world.
3. Have a list (& a planner) as well. Not only is the schedule creating structure, but the list creates even more structure so you know what you need to get done for the day. It also helps you not fall victim to the classic symptom of forgetting. Each day, you should write down what you WANT to get done and create your own times to look at lecture and assignments. Have goals for the day.
For example: complete assignment 2.
If you do not have expectations with yourself before the day begins, your ADHD will kind of take over and do something else. I have structure to my day. I set a timer to wake up at the same time. I take my ADHD medicine 90 minutes before my final wake up time, and I do my morning routine once it kicks in. Having the same routine helps.
-> Focus on your goals. Don’t be super harsh about the times.
-> Don’t overwhelm with how many things on to do list. Again, break it up into small tasks. For example, one part being: Wash dishes or fold laundry. It makes it less overwhelming to your brain and gives you a choice of which task. Typical non ADHD people just tell you to prioritize tasks but that doesn’t work for us. Do it in a random order and it gets the job done.
4. TAKE BREAKS! The other side to this is making sure that you give yourself adequate breaks.
*For hyperfocus, wait til your hyperfocus has started to wear off. Use it to your advantage for peak productivity. It is no joke.*
-> The misconception is that some people with ADHD are lazy and as a result, some ADHDers won’t take breaks. You can take a break. Healthy, long breaks do more for you long term.
-> Have a timer set. For example, after a 45 minute session or an hour session, I will take a break to do another task that has nothing to do with studying, like laundry, eating a snack, or stretching. Then after that task is done, I will go back to studying.
5. Have a workspace. Only do work at this space. I do schoolwork at my living room table and it is perfect. I do not study in my room because that is my sanctuary for relaxation and rest, not productivity. Make an effort to make the workspace clean, with your supplies - laptop, notebooks, pens, etc - readily available.
-> Once I get to my workspace, everything for the morning is already done. I’ve done my morning routine, so all there is left to do is hydrate while I study.
6. Recognize if you have adequate energy to do the task. Sometimes, with ADHD you may neglect your needs. If you are not getting enough rest, here are some tips:
•Bed should be for rest only.
•Blackout curtains
•Lavender essential oil, I have a diffuser but you can also put it on your pillow
•Background noise: pick what you want, lo fi music, rain sounds, binaural beats, singing bowls
•If all else fails, ADHD is often comorbid with other illnesses, meaning you could have a form of depression causing insomnia for example. This should be considered if you are having long term issues and symptoms.
7. Don’t overdo it. We are not neurotypical. Executive dysfunction is real - meaning our brains actually shut down when it perceives a task to be mundane.
-> You do not have to fit everything into one schedule for the sake of being “productive”. Each day should be what you know you can do, and there are different days to tackle different goals.
-> When you feel like you cannot continue, which is literally a symptom of ADHD, sit still for a few minutes.
8. Have a “What I Did Today” List. Because of how ADHD actually makes us feel, we don’t realize how much work we have put in. ADHD actually can be explained easily, we have about 2 dopamine workers showing up to work while most people are at maximum capacity. We are working overtime to do our best, even on medicine. So, acknowledging what we did today is good and encouraging, or at least reflecting in a journal.
9. Play music. It’s recommended to play study music without words because with ADHD we will submerge ourselves into the playlist of nostalgic 90s R&B. I recommend lo fi hip hop on YouTube, video game instrumentals, classical music, or jazz instrumentals. Whatever gets you going just do it!
General ADHD tips:
•Rewrite lecture notes and type the lecture notes.
•Color code with bright colors and pretty drawings or calligraphy
•Instead of telling yourself “I need to take notes” which usually leads to procrastination say “Rewrite lecture notes and emphasize main points” ... this is useful in your to do list but in everyday goals
•Generally try to get your assignments done ahead of time if there is structure to certain courses, if not, again, stick to the schedule. If you slip one day off your schedule then don’t beat yourself up. Breathe!!!
•Side effect of most ADHD meds is that you’re not hungry so buy easy things to eat like muscle milk or yogurt and granola or smoothies so you can sustain yourself
•Get a dry erase board to show what you need to do for the day and put it on the fridge with command strips
•To avoid forgetting things, put them at a table near the door where you leave your apartment/dorm/house.
•Don’t overthink the time it takes to get ready, often that’s why ADHDers are late. Better to be super early than late though - have a routine set so you know how long each task takes - for example “I know a shower takes me 15 mins, washing my face takes 60 seconds and a few more including sunscreen/moisturizer, etc...”
•In that same grain, set timers for going to the bathroom, showering, etc just in case you one day hyperfocus and push yourself too far
•Open the blinds!!!!
•Clean your room and tidy up your space. A cluttered space impacts your mental health in a really negative way. Your space reflects your mental state at times as well, so check in with yourself. Have a specific day where you know you’re going to clean, but ADHD sometimes gives us bursts of cleaning so take advantage of that as well.
•Anytime your water bottle empties refill it. Have your water bottle or mason jar next to your workspace, and drink 5-10 gulps. Seriously. ADHD depends a lot on hydration, especially if you are on medicine which naturally dehydrates you. If you do not stay hydrated, you’ll get that massive headache mid day and crash sooner. A lot of times, lack of productivity can be due to not drinking enough water.
•If you don’t take medication, then sometimes you may notice you love coffee, and that’s because it’s a stimulant. Too much of anything is not good, but balance it with water. If you’re going to use coffee to kinda “medicate” then do it close to when you’re going to be productive.
•Setting yourself up to do a task rather than envisioning the overwhelming act of doing the entire action. “Okay, lets just get up and get the first step down, such as opening the laptop or wetting the toothbrush.” Baby steps.
•Take advantage of accommodations! Your college more than likely has an Office of Disability Services. Also, email your professors...they’re actually just as stressed as you about classes being online.
•Remember that you’re already trying as hard as you can, so don’t listen to the narrative of “try harder”, “you’re *r word*”, “you’re cheating by using medication”, “just do it,” “it’s easy,” “what’s so hard about it?” or “you’re lazy”. Anyone telling you that, even yourself, is wrong. And DO NOT allow anyone to be ableist, even yourself.
•Validate yourself. Don’t let anyone to do the “I experience that too”/“I know what you mean”/“we ALL have trouble with this!” and they don’t have ADHD. No. It’s our experience, it’s valid, and unlike anything on the planet. If you’re reading this and you don’t have ADHD - no, you do not experience any of the things in my next bullet point.
•Don’t be hard on yourself if you stumble along the way getting this right. ADHD completely changes your executive functioning.
We see the task, but our brain blocks it.
We have something marked down as “important” but our brain tosses it out in the “trash”.
We watch an entire episode of a show, but our brain ignored the entire thing. Our brain picks and chooses what is stimulating, our brain changes our interests.
We have sensory overload, we have no dopamine, we have bursts of curiosity that cannot be contained (often inconvenient) and if interrupted, our brains cannot take it.
People often discount how many things ADHD actually changes because it’s widely misunderstood. I want to take the time to acknowledge that ADHD, formerly known as simply ADD, has different types: primarily inattentive, primarily hyperactive-impulsive, or combined which is what I have. So it’s not “hyper” and “relatable”. It is also not a buzzword to use to describe things. I must put stereotypes and misrepresentations of ADHD to rest.
It impacts us emotionally as well, which most people don’t know... such as rejection dysphoria — extreme sensitivity to being criticized to where our brains self destruct. Our brains don’t regulate emotions well.
ADHDers - do not fall victim to how everyone else operates and call yourself a failure. We have to work twice as hard and the results actually come out brilliant especially with our determination and imaginative ideas that are also seen in autistic individuals, honorable mention!
There’s good days and bad days. There’s literal changes in thinking that other people do not experience. We all collectively know wouldn’t be who we are without ADHD, but we all recognize the challenges. However, it makes me happy to see messages like this so that I can make a difference and hopefully help one person with ADHD, especially of color, at a time stop being so hard on themselves. 💗
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addictedtojmanga · 3 years
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Best male characters in shoujo & josei manga - in my opinion, ofc
!!! Might contain spoilers about Love so Life, Faster than a Kiss, Last Game, Love Phantom, Special A, ReRe Hello, Kainushi wa Akuma, Sabaku no Harem, Max Lovely and Kimi ni Todoke. 
So, my criteria for this was:
1. is he toxic?
2. can he communicate properly with the female lead?
3. could I stand to talk with him for more than an hour?
That’s basically it. I used to love a bunch of male characters without realizing how douchey they actually were. Do I still love them? Yeah, but mostly because of nostalgia, I don’t actually consider them good men. 
I’m not saying the men in this list are perfect, cause c’mon we all know how manga characters - and people - are, but I think these are pretty great.  
Without further ado, here’s my - non ranked - fave MLs:
1. Matsunaga Seiji, Love so Life. 
This man is adorable, the best thing ever, I want him to myself. We don’t actually see a lot of romance in Love so Life, HOWEVER, Seiji is a responsible, caring, sweet guy. Once he gets his shit together he talks openly with the female lead about how he feels and how - because of their age difference - he’s willing to wait for her and that she doesn’t have to answer him right then and there or feel guilty if she doesn’t want to be with him in the future. 
Honestly, I really love him. He’s not a creepy older guy preying on a young girl, he respects her age and wants her to live her youth before settling down. Does he rely a bit too much on a 16yo? Yes, but I overlook it ‘cause I love him.
2. Ojiro Kazuma, Faster than a Kiss. 
Again, not a teacher/older man preying on a young girl. He’s her teacher and their relationship starts out with him wanting to protect/help his student out. If I’m not mistaken, he doesn’t even kiss her until she graduates, HOWEVER, he does make her wear sexy costumes, which is problematic. 
Overall, he’s sweet, helps her a lot, really loves her and wants to protect her (and her cute litlle brother). 
3. Yanagi Naoto, Last Game.
Yanagi starts out as a douchey rich kid who thinks he’s superior to everyone else until he’s beaten by the female lead and wants to defeat her. Overtime, he realizes he’s actually in love with her. He’s shy when it comes to her, and very patient. 
Did he follow her to middle school, high school and college? Yes. Would I find that creepy in real life? Absolutely. Can I excuse it because it’s a shoujo manga? Yes again. 
I think he’s a solid male lead for a shoujo manga, and I personally like him, but I definitely see issues with his behavior. 
4. Hase Kei, Love Phantom.
I want him. He’s older than the FL, so he often teases her, but I find it pretty adorable, especially when he’s the one feeling shy. Excluding chapter 01, I can’t remember any obvious flaws in his behavior. To sum up, I love him. 
5. Takishima Kei, Special A. 
Here is an OG male lead that I wouldn’t punch or kick.
Kei is handsome, rich, super smart and he doesn’t give a fuck about anything except the FL. She’s extremely competitive and he always goes along with her whims. He’s protective of her and a tad possessive, but it doesn’t really bother me. He’s pretty solid. 
6. Suou Minato, ReRe Hello.
Minato has his flaws as a person, but as a man/boyfriend, I really love him. I feel like he really cherishes the FL and usually respects her independence. If you haven’t read this manga, I definitely recommend you do!
7. Albrecht Ebel, Kainushi wa Akuma.
He’s super hot and sassy, I love it. Does he sort of sexually harass the FL? Yes, frequently. Does it bother me? Not really, to be honest. And I absolutely despise when male characters are forceful or rapey. I don’t know how to explain it, but at the same time that he teases her, he’s extremely sweet. I know this intro sounds bad, but I want to be upfront about it. Major spoilers ahead: in one of the final chapters, he’s feeling possessive and tries to have sex with her (she didn’t contest it), and when he comes to, she’s trembling and he stops, apologizes, says that there’s no meaning to it if she doesn’t want to and stays distant from her until she approaches him after realizing they love each other.
He is super sweet and she does love him, of course (it’s still a shoujo manga after all). I think everyone should give it a read (and you can delve into the wonderful world of flirting that is Kaji Eiri’s mangas). 
(Real quick, part of the reason I love her work so much is that the main couple flirts consistently throughout the manga, and one thing that bothers me a lot in shoujo manga is when the protagonists only get together in the last chapter.)
8. Sahara Taki, Max Lovely. 
Honestly, I just really love their relationship. This is a 20 year old manga but it’s really solid. I’ve re-read this a bunch of times and I absolutely love it. It’s not romance exclusively, there’s a pretty dark background story, but I really enjoy it. And Taki is a pretty baby, super sweet with the FL and usually very honesy with her.
9. Prince Kallum, Sabaku no Harem.
Would I be one of many wifes to a handsome and rich prince? No. Do I treat manga as reality? God, no. 
He’s very amusing, loves to tease the FL and is pretty sweet. I really enjoyed reading this, I think it’s a solid shoujo with a great male lead, and should definitely be on your list if you haven’t read it yet. 
10. Kazehaya Shouta, Kimi ni Todoke.
Is he my favorite male character? No. To be perfectly honest, he’s not even on my top 10. But is he a good man/boyfriend? Yes, and that’s why he’s on this list.
Like I said in the beginning of the post, there are toxic male characters that I still love despite them being shitty. 
Kazehaya is a popular type but he’s super nice and charismatic. He treats the FL which is usually dismissed by everyone with a lot of respect and care. I think he’s a bit too shy and indirect, which can sometimes jeopardize his relationship with her, but other than that, he’s a great guy. 
BONUS 01: not actually a boyfriend but I love him
Tsuruga Ren, Skip Beat. 
Now, is Ren perfect? No, he has a lot of flaws. A LOT. But I absolutely love him and I think he’s maturing. 
BONUS 02: I don’t personally love this type of character for myself, but I really like him 
Suoh Tamaki, Ouran High School Host Club. 
Like I said, he’s not my type, but I think he’s pretty cute and adorable and totally deserves to be on the list, so I made this spot just for him. 
BONUS 03: douchey guys I was blindly in love with as a teenager
1. Usui Takumi, Kaichou wa Maid-Sama. 
Do I hate Usui? No, not at all. I actually really like him. 
But he’s possessive, secretive, dismissive and forceful.
2. Irie Naoki, Itazura na Kiss. 
Naoki has always been - in my opinion - a dick. He pissed me of quite a bit even back then. But, since I always make sure to wear my shoujo anime/manga glasses to ignore problematic behavior when I’m reading manga, I don’t hate him.
! Please don’t get me wrong, even with my shoujo anime/manga glasses there are certain things that I can’t ignore and that really drive me crazy (ex. rape, racism, fat shaming, etc) 
It’s simply that I can understand that there’s a huge gap between manga and reality, and as long as I can recognize the problematic behaviors, I feel like I can enjoy them and respect the poetic license behind it. 
 Ok, that’s it, sorry for the long-ass post. 
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prettyboyjackhughes · 3 years
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-Boy Best Friends- [J. Hughes & T.Smith]
Literally no one asked for this but Kelly @prettyboycozens and I were talking about how much we love Jack and Ty's friendship, especially after the interview of Jack where Ty comes in and then came up with this idea and I had to write it so here we are! Hope you enjoy!
Jack and I had been close since we were little. We started out next door neighbors then he was the weird boy who I waited at the bus stop with, then he became the boy I had every class with in middle school. Around 6th grade is when we finally clicked and became best friends. He calls me ‘Ranch’ even though my name is Rachel, all because one time his phone autocorrected ‘Rach’ to ‘Ranch’ and he thinks it’s the funniest thing ever. He even changed my contact name to ‘Ranch’.
It’s been an interesting 8 years being friends with him and watching him grow up. The funny thing is, I’m pretty sure we’ve only spent a full year together one time during our whole friendship. He’s always been off doing all his hockey stuff while I’ve been home in Michigan. But then college rolled around. He got drafted the summer after my senior year, managing to watch me walk across the stage at graduation before flying up to Vancouver for his draft 2 days later. I watched him get drafted on TV and remember the thrill of hearing New Jersey picked him because coincidentally, the college I was planning on attending, Seton Hall, was about 20 minutes away from the arena he would be playing in. Knowing I would be getting to spend, hopefully, the next 4 years with my best friend within a short car ride’s distance away for the first time in 8 years was some of the best news I had gotten in a long time.  The first year was rough but I managed to survive, mainly because of Jack. It took a while to figure out the dynamic of our friendship but we settled into a routine and a comfortable cycle. We went back to Michigan for the summer, spending it with our families. He trained most of the summer while I worked. But almost every evening was spent together. Then it came time for us to head back to Jersey and back to the chaos that waited for us.
“Why are you living in the dorm again next year? When Ty and I have a perfectly good room for you to stay in?” Jack asked, his face way too close to his phone. We had been on FaceTime for at least the last 2 hours, him distracting me as I attempted to do homework.
“Because I can? Why would I wanna live with you and Ty?” I shot back, smirking as he looked offended.
“Well that one hurts. Hey, I was just offering so you didn’t have to worry about getting stuck with a bad roommate, like freshman year.” I grimaced at the thought of my freshman year roommate. I had spent more time camped out in Jack’s apartment than at my own dorm.
“That is a good point. But who said you and Ty are good roommates? I know for one, you never pick up anything, your room was always a disaster when we were little and Ty sings in the shower so there’s two cons.” Jack rolls his eyes.
“My singing is lovely! You’re just jealous you can’t sing as well as me!” Ty yells from across the room as Jack turns the camera to show him.
“We’ll work on the singing. And I’ve gotten much better at cleaning up after myself. I even know how to do laundry now!” Jack says, excitedly. I laugh and put my pen down.
“This really isn’t convincing me to move in with you two. Just saying.”  Jack rolls his eyes.
“Just give us a chance. It’ll be fun.” I shrug.
“Okay fine. But you do know that means Brady will be around the apartment, right?” Jack’s face screws up a little and I roll my eyes. Brady is my boyfriend that I met midway through my freshman year. He was a sophomore, majoring in business and just happened to be at the very first party I went to. He was older, in a fraternity and sweet-talked me. I fell head over heels for him almost instantly. But the issue was that Jack and Ty weren’t huge fans.
“Jack, he's not that bad.” This time it’s Jack’s turn to scoff.
“Yeah because having to go and pick your drunk boyfriend up from a party every 2 nights doesn’t make him that bad.” Ty appears next to him and starts talking.
“Rach, we’re just looking out for you. We don’t exactly love the guy.”
“Well that’s what’s gonna happen so get used to the idea.” Jack looks over at Ty.
“I think we can be civil. So you’re moving in?” I nod and Jack cheers. I roll my eyes and start to think about what I have to pack.
The next two weeks are a whirlwind of chaotic packing and moving. The boys were sweet enough to give me the biggest bedroom in the apartment, even though I had the least amount of stuff out of the 3 of us. Once I had moved in, the boys and I settled into a routine of me cooking, then cleaning up, them doing laundry and me folding; really just a lot of splitting up the housework and jobs around the house to get them done. Brady was around a lot, but Jack and Ty were civil and not complete jerks. I was proud of them. But then one night, while Jack, Ty and I were watching some movie Ty had been wanting to watch, I got yet another call from Brady asking me to come pick him up.
“Baby…I…need you to come get me…I-“ Brady’s drunk voice is drowned out by the yelling and music in the background and I can’t hear him anymore.
“Brady, where are you? I’ll come get you.” He mumbles something back but I can’t understand it so I just end the call.
“I have to go get Brady. He’s drunk at a party again.” I say, sighing as I get up off the couch. Jack and Ty exchange a look and then Jack gets up too.
“I’ll drive you. You’ll have to make sure he doesn’t puke in my car though.” I nod as Ty stands up too.
“Might as well come along for the ride.” I slip my shoes on and follow Jack out the door of the apartment, Ty closing the door behind us.
“Let me check his location and I’ll tell you where we’re going.” After enough times of being left sitting somewhere and having no idea where Brady was, he ended up agreeing to share his location with me. In times like these, it was his saving grace.
“He’s about half an hour away. The party must be somewhere in New York.” Jack doesn’t say anything, just starts driving. The ride there is silent, for the first time. Usually Jack and Ty won’t shut up when we’re in the car, constantly fighting about what music to listen to, whose turn it is to drive; everything under the sun is up for discussion when we’re in the car. I usually sit back and listen, occasionally injecting myself into the conversation when I feel necessary. I’ll also play mediator when they’re fighting over something stupid. But the fact that it was silent in the car right now, made everything so much worse. It feels like we’re driving to the end of the world.
“There’s the house.” I say, almost 45 minutes later. Jack manages to get the car parked and turns around to look at me.
“You want us to come with you to find him?” I shake my head, sliding out of the car and shutting the door behind me. This would be the 5th time I’ve had to pick Brady’s drunk ass up from a party in the last 2 weeks. I was getting pretty tired of it. But his explanation was that it was because he was in a fraternity. He said that it was apart of his “brotherhood” or something stupid like that. I didn’t buy any of it but I loved him so I let it go. And as I waded my way through ridiculously sweaty bodies all dancing to way too loud music, I remembered how much I didn’t like partying.
“Hey you’re Brady’s girlfriend right?” A girl asks, grabbing my arm and yelling over the music. I turn to her and nod, an eyebrow raised.
“I just saw him go into a room with some other girl. Top of the stairs on the left.” I gulped, hoping she was wrong.
“Thanks!” I yell back, hurrying over to the stairs and taking them two at a time. I wind through people going up and down the stairs and manage to get to the door. As my hand finds the handle, I take a deep breath, hoping and praying that the sight behind this door isn’t going to be what I think it is. I finally bite back the fear and push the door open. Sure enough, sprawled out across the bed with some girl’s hands all over his bare chest is my boyfriend.
“Baby? Hey I-“ He says, starting to sit up.
“Fuck you. Hope she’s worth it.” I spit out, glaring at him before turning around to rush out of the room. I stumbled down the stairs, bumping into people and blindly apologizing as I pushed through the crowd. Somehow I managed to make it out of the house and into the back seat of Jack’s car.
“Hey hey hey are you okay? Where’s Brady?” Jack asked, a concerned look plastered across his face.
“He-he cheated on me. Wi-with some girl at the p-party.” I stuttered, fighting the tears pressing against my eyes. He and Ty exchange a look and then both look at me.
“Just drive Jacky. Please.” I whisper as the tears finally start to slow a little. It’s silent again for most of the car ride. My phone kept buzzing with texts and calls from Brady but finally, after what seemed like the thousandth call, I put it on do not disturb and tossed onto the seat next to me.
“Well, I mean, there’s always the option of kicking his ass.” Ty says from the front seat, looking up into the rearview mirror at me.
“What do you say, Jacky boy?” I bury my face in my hands and finally let the tears fall.
“Shit Ty, she’s crying! You broke her!” Jack says, hitting Ty’s arm as he looks back at me.
“I didn’t break her! How is it my fault!” They continue to argue back and forth the rest of the ride home, which would usually make me smile and roll my eyes but not today. Not after what just happened.
As soon as we get back to the apartment, I rush inside and to my room, closing the door behind me. I heard Jack and Ty come in not long after me and whisper about something for a while. I hear the front door open and close again and then Jack tapping lightly on my door.
“Hey Ranch, you okay?” He asks, getting a tiny smile from me because of the nickname.
“I should’ve listened to you and Ty. You said he wasn’t good for me but I didn’t listen. I-I thought he loved me.” This wouldn’t be the first time I’ve cried to Jack about boys. I’ve had my share of boyfriends through the years and every single break up was cried out, usually over the phone with Jack.
“Ty went to go get you ice cream and I remembered how much you like bubble baths so I got one ready for you if you want…” He says, awkwardly picking at his thumb and looking at me.
“Seriously, how did I get so lucky to have you as my best friend? You and Ty?” He smiles a little as I sit up and walk over to where he’s standing in the doorway.
“You both are going to make some very lucky girls happy someday, you know that right?” He smiles and nods as I hug him.
“Now aren’t you glad you moved in here?” I smile and nod, looking up at him.
“Yeah. Yeah I am.”
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One Photo → Mark Lee [1]
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↳  Pairing: Mark Lee/Reader
↳  AU: Soulmate!AU - The first touch of two soulmates permanently scars their bodies.
↳  Word count: 4,863
↳  Chapters: Prelude | You Are Here! | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9
⁙ Summary: For an end of the year photography project, you’re tasked with taking a photograph for your favourite group, NCT127, and coincidentally, discover your soulmate.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MONDAY - 1
Your heart was pounding a million miles a minute as you stepped into your photoshoot studio on campus two weeks later, ready to see a bunch of other students preparing for interviews for the same position. Surprisingly, you were the only one present besides your teacher. She smiled and approached. “Hey,” she greeted you with a short handshake. “I see you’re nervous?” “A little,” you admit, returning her friendly grin. “I’m surprised nobody else is here.” She hummed. “Well, there was a lot to choose from. Come on. This one, I believe, is a little special compared to the others.” “How so?” Your voice was laced with curiosity as she led you further in, past the background sheets that separate the room into two halves. Behind it were people you had only dreamed of seeing in person.
The three of them stood as soon as they lay eyes on you. Johnny, Mark, and Jaehyun. You were completely frozen, staring at them and nearly forgetting to breathe. The thought of the members interviewing you themselves had never even entered your brain.
Your teacher placed a hand on your shoulder, startling you. Without a word, she smiled at you, nodded at them and left the room. Once the door shut with a soft click, Mark approached you. “Hi, I’m Mark Lee,” he held out his hand. “You probably knew that, considering your expression.” He laughed sweetly. You barely held out your hand with a shy nod, “I’m (Y/N).” Instead of going through with the handshake, Mark immediately moves in to engulf you in a friendly hug. “It’s nice to meet you,” you mumbled into the hug, barely processing that you were actually hugging Mark Lee and were in the same five-foot radius as three members of NCT. Johnny and Jaehyun also hugged you tightly, insisting that you join them at the table your teacher had set up for them.
“I thought I would be more prepared,” you admitted softly, digging into your backpack and pulling out your portfolio of projects and random photos you’ve taken. Mark takes it first to open and look through. “I’ve been a fan since your debut.” 
Johnny smiled. “Then you’re just the person we’re looking for,” he said. He glances over at your portfolio, then back to you. “The truth is, we aren’t looking for a professional like a lot of others in this program. We bring our own from our company.” Your knit your eyebrows together in confusion. “Then why sign up? If, um, you don’t mind me asking.” 
Jaehyun looked up from browsing your portfolio with Mark. “We were looking to take one photo.” He held up his index finger. “We wanted to have a friend that’s from around here to help us find the perfect spot, and photographers always know the best places.” Your eyes widened. A friend? Did he really just say that? “Just one photo?” You decided to ask, the whole prospect of clarifying what Jaehyun meant by ‘friend’ was a little too overwhelming.
The three of them nodded. “We want just one photo for our dorm. This stop is important to us, and we want this to stay away from social media. It’s just going to be for us. And for you, for your project, of course,” Mark explained. “We don’t want someone that is too professional and we don’t want a fansite to take it. It seemed to us that a friend would be the best choice.” He smiled gently at you. “We’ll provide you with a ticket and backstage pass, as well as paying you based on the program’s price for the photo to be touched up and framed.” 
You tripped over your words. “Well, I… I don’t think I’m in a position to turn you down, but…” Johnny cocked his head to the side. “But..?” 
You gulped and sheepishly avoided eye contact. “I can’t speak Korean,” you mumble, fiddling with your fingers. Mark smiled sweetly at you. “That’s okay. We’ll translate for you. So, what do you think? Would you like to spend a day with us before our show?” 
You smiled, deciding to be a bit more daring. They did say, friend. “You’re asking that like there’s even a shred of a chance I’d say no.” 
All three of them grin. “Thank you, I was hoping you would say yes,” Mark says. “Your portfolio is stunning.”
Your face goes red and you're barely conscious enough to stand with them as they prepare to leave. Johnny and Jaehyun hug you again, praising your work before taking their leave, but Mark doesn't join them.
“Our manager has your teacher's contact information, but I want to involve the company as little as possible… if it's not too sudden, could I please have your number?” Mark smiles sheepishly, offering his unlocked phone to you, open to a new contact page. It's as if he has no idea of the impact he has on his fans. Sometimes you forget that NCT is made up of normal humans, and the one standing in front of you is a year younger than you are. 
“Of course,” you take it gently and add your contact info, taking a quick selfie to add as your little profile picture, all while Mark watches you searchingly. “Here you are,” you hand his phone back, hesitating on saying what you were thinking, “since you want to be friends, feel free to text me.” 
Mark takes his phone back with a smile, sending you a quick smiley face to make sure the number was correct. The room is silent for a moment, your face feels as if it's on fire and Mark returns the stare you gave him when you walked in.
“Come on, Mark!” you hear Johnny’s voice from outside the classroom and you both turn toward it. You smile sheepishly.
“I shouldn't keep you, should I?” you ask, voice soft and a little embarrassed.
“No, but I wish I had more time. I'll text you, I promise,” he says, hugging you once more before leaving you alone and speechless. 
You wondered if all fan interactions were like the one you just experienced. You were aware the members of NCT were known to be humble and kind, but they were much calmer and affectionate than you expected. The idea that you just saw Mark's smile in person made your own cheesy grin spread across your face as you packed up your portfolio. 
After class, you headed back to your dorm, a skip in your step. Once you opened the door and stepped inside, you felt like you could collapse. Fatigue washed over you like a tidal wave, and you knew it was time for an afternoon nap. Rhiannon was still in her lab, so you could grab at least 20 minutes of shut-eye before she would come back and beg for you to make dinner. You set your bag down by the door with your shoes and set a course for your bed. As soon as you were able to slide underneath the covers and nearly drift to sleep, your phone vibrated.
You reach into your pocket, confused. Rhiannon was the only friend that had your number, and if she even thought about her phone in a lab, she would be kicked out. Once you unlock your phone, you finally remembered who else you gave your number to.
Mark: Hey!
You licked your lips as your chest twinged and filled with butterflies. You screamed internally for a few seconds, the moment hitting you a little harder than before. Mark Lee had your cell phone number and he was texting you first. 
You: Hello, what’s up?
Mark replied almost immediately, which startled you a little bit. You turned over in your bed to get a little more comfortable.
Mark: We were just finishing up settling into our hotel rooms. I wanted to know how you're doing, are you in class? I hope I'm not interrupting anything
You: No, I got home a little while ago. I was gonna take a nap tbh
Mark: Oh! Sorry, I don't mean to take away sleep from a college student
You smiled a little bit. He was too sweet. As if your nap wasn't going to ruin your sleep schedule.
You: Its fine, if I had a nap I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight anyway
Mark: So you're free then?
Your eyebrows furrowed as you typed your response.
You: Uh yeah, why? Did you all want that picture now?
You put your phone down, a little overwhelmed. If they wanted it now, you wouldn't see them again until the concert, which wasn't until Friday. Perhaps you should have expected they wanted to do this as fast as possible, their Canadian and Chicago stops were planned with vacations in mind considering Johnny and Mark's heritage. When your phone buzzed again, you almost jumped to grab it.
Mark: Well no not yet. I was just wondering if you wanted to get coffee or something. Or tea if you prefer that 
Your eyes widened.
You: Really?
Mark: Yeah. I dunno, I want to take the friend thing more serious than the guys. They just wanted to use that word so it was like an unspoken contract that you wouldn't post this everywhere y'know? 
Your heart sank a little bit, but you could see how important privacy was. If you were in the same position, you would have done the same.
You: I understand… I'm still kind of a stranger though, are you sure?
Mark: That's why I'm asking. I don't want you to be. So, will you meet me?
You: There's a Tim Hortons on the first floor of M building near where you met me on campus, I can be there in 40 minutes 
Mark: See you in 40 minutes then :)
As soon as you read that text, you tossed your comforter to the side and raced into the bathroom. You fix your hair and could barely decide whether to change your outfit or not. He did see you earlier today, would he think you were trying too hard if you changed? 
“Keep it together, (Y/N),” you told yourself, patting your cheeks with your hands as you eyed your complexion in the mirror. “He just wants tea and coffee, nothing major.” 
Just then, the front door opened. “Are you talking to yourself again?” Rhiannon called from the foyer.
“No,” you called back, clearly lying as you took one more scan of yourself in the mirror before leaving to greet your friend. “You’re back early. How was the lab?”
“Tiring,” she answered. “My bitch lab partner came in even earlier than usual to make sure I didn't have the chance to set up our station again.” She rolled her eyes and dropped her backpack next to yours. 
“Yikes,” you reply, watching her wander into the kitchen. “Are you gonna tell your professor that she is trying to sabotage your grade?” 
Rhiannon sighed. “I don't know if the following shitstorm would be worth it,” she says, plugging in the electric kettle. “I'm gonna make some tea, you want any?”
You shook your head, even though she probably couldn't see you from the wall separating the kitchen and foyer. “No thanks, I'm going out to Tim's in M building.” 
Rhiannon took less than a second to appear in the archway to stare at you. “Why?” She questioned, squinting at you. 
“Mark asked me to meet him for coffee.” 
“Mark,” she repeated, crossing her arms. “I thought you hated Mark Davids.” 
“Not that asshole,” you shot back. “Mark Lee.” You began to look for a pair of cuter shoes as Rhiannon’s eyes widened.
“You got the job?!” She exclaimed, her voice nearly reaching a squeal. "YOU MET MARK LEE? WITHOUT ME?!"
“Yeah,” you smile sheepishly, taken aback by her shouting. you picked out your favourite pair of shoes, red converse high tops. “He just seems like he wants to hang out right now though.”
“Oh my God,” her voice nearly lowered to a whisper. “Mark Lee just asked you out.”
You rolled your eyes. “He didn't ask me out, he just wants to talk,” you explain, pulling on your shoes to tie them. 
“I dunno, he could be it,” she says, waltzing back into the kitchen. “You never know!”
You sigh. “See you later!” 
“Tell him to get Haechan's number!”
After a 15-minute subway ride and a lot of hurried walking, you hauled open the pristine doors of M building, the newest addition to your college campus. Right before you was a little Tim Hortons with a tiny student’s lounge to accompany it. There was a little bit of a line to the micro cafe since night classes were starting up around now, but the student’s lounge was close to empty. 
You took in a deep breath, fully stepping inside and beginning your search for Mark. It doesn’t take long to spot him, he’s sporting yellow hair and a white face mask, accompanied by two red Tim Hortons cups at a table in the corner of the lounge. It takes you a moment to fathom your position - about to meet someone you’ve been crushing on for months through a computer screen for coffee in a lounge at your college. On top of that- he’s already bought you something.
“Hi,” you meekly greet him, approaching the table. Mark looks up from his phone and his eyes immediately crease into the crescents of his beautiful smile.
“Hey, (Y/N)!” He pulls his mask off, “sit down, I, uh, got you some tea. You kind of struck me as that kind of person, so I hope I got it right.” 
“Thank you, Mark. You really didn’t have to buy me anything…” You smile nervously, your face feeling hot and your heart beating a mile a minute. Mark seemed a little nervous, just like you. It was a sobering moment, taking the cup he pushed toward you and opening it to take a sip. Your eyes widened. Your tea was exactly the way you always order it, nearly to the grain of sugar.
Mark watches your expression, happy that you seemed to like your tea, “I wanted to treat you. I know how weird this must all seem for you, but for some reason, I feel like I know you.” He runs his hand through his hair, avoiding eye contact for a moment. 
You look away from him as well. There's a moment of silence between you, the bustle of students slowly diminishing as the sun sets behind you. 
“I, uh, can't really relate to you in that way,” you whisper after you worked up the courage to break the silence. “A lot of your life is on display.” 
“You're right,” Mark agreed. “There are a few things I keep to myself, though,” he smiled cheerfully. “But what I mean is hard to explain.”
Curious, you nod toward him, “try me.”
“When I was standing in line, I was trying to figure out what to get you. I wanted to treat you since I asked you to come, and I kind of expected for you to say no since your professor said you had class today and-”
“Mark, it’s fine, stay focused.” you smile faintly at him and wait for him to continue, sipping your tea again.
He blushes and nods sheepishly. “When it was my turn, I got what I wanted and the second I thought about you, I recited medium steeped orange pekoe tea with two cream and one and a half sugar like I had been getting it for you for years.” He stops for a moment, presumably watching your stunned reaction.
Your breathing was feeling a little crooked, and you couldn't quite place what you were feeling. You tried to take in a deep breath, shaking your head when Mark began to look concerned. 
“Sorry,” you apologize quickly. “I, uh, kind of know what you're talking about. This is all just a little; I don't know…”
“Overwhelming?” Mark finished, nodding his head. “I can't stop thinking about it.” 
You tried to smile. “I guess you gave the bug to me,” you joke. “Want to get some air?”
“I'd like that.” 
The two of you walked down a path that led off-campus, talking. It was as if the two of you had forgotten your positions in life; Mark a celebrity with his life on a pedestal and you just a fan that forgot how much you really knew about him.
You were rediscovering his cheerful nature, his loud and hearty laughter that was a whole-body endeavour, learning that he plays the guitar, his love of ice cream and sweet things. His favourite colour was blue, and he loved Christmas so much he already had a growing list of things to buy for his friends as gifts.
The sun was nearly hidden behind the hills of the park you wandered into, admiring the newly blossomed cherry trees. You were showing him a small bed of flowers decorated to look like a Canadian flag when Mark asked the dreaded personal question you had been hoping you would never have to answer again.
“How did your parents find out?” His tone was soft, curious. He didn't sound as invasive as others have been in the past, but the question still made you bite your lip to keep from frowning.
“A gang fight,” you answer, bitterly. “My dad punched my mom in the face so hard that day, she needed to go to the ER. It actually took three months for her to figure out why the print of my dad's fist hadn't faded from her cheek.”
Mark didn't speak for a moment. “Was that too much to ask?”
You looked up at him from the flower bed, smiling faintly. He looked good in the final evening glow. “I don't mind that much, but...”
“I'm sorry,” he said, tentatively placing a hand on the small of your back. 
“It's okay,” you start, his sympathy nearly made you melt. The two of you begin walking again, Mark absently running his fingers over cherry petals as you both passed the trees. “I got out of it all pretty quickly. They fought when they were high, and that was almost all the time. Sometimes, I feel scared just thinking about how my life might end up. If any of it is all as real as everyone says it is.”
Mark stares at you, and there is sympathy radiating off of him. He looks like he wants to say something, but he stays quiet.
You hold back a frown and decide to break the silence. “Anyway, how about your parents?” 
“A hug,” he answered, nodding, a smile returning to his face. “it's not the most common first touch in the world, but I hope I find mine the same way.” 
“That does sound nice,” you agree softly.
“I've heard it's all up to fate and magic,” Mark says, charm in his voice. “I've always wanted to believe in that.”
“I'd like to believe in that. Makes life seem a little more bearable. I’ve just always been so cynical through my childhood, so much so that all of my hope for a fairytale ending faded a long time ago. I never really thought that anything good would come out of it. If the universe really wants me to find someone, I guess I can’t really do anything about it.”
Mark smiles, although you can tell he is hiding a smidge of disappointment. “I suppose that's one way to think about it,” he replies. “I just want to know someone so well that I don't have to think twice about it. Like knowing the exact way to cheer them up when they're sad. Like the perfect cup of tea or their favourite stuffed animal. I guess that takes a little bit of magic.” 
You stop in your tracks, thinking about the perfect tea he had given you earlier.
“What's wrong?” Mark stops and turns around when he notices you're not keeping pace.
“Nothing,” you lie with a smile, watching Mark's scepticism through the darkness of night. 
“Okay,” he says softly, looking up at the sky. “I guess it's late, huh?” 
You join him in looking up. If the city wasn't always so lit up, this spot would be perfect for a shot of the starry night sky between the small canopy of cherry trees. “I guess it is.”
“How far away is your dorm? I can walk you,” he suggests, taking your hand. You're frozen, too stunned by the gesture to pull away.
“You don't have to,”
“But I want to,” Mark grins. “It's the one way I can make sure you get back safely.”
“You're too kind…” you pause for a moment. Mark is staring you down, waiting for you to say yes. “I'm not allowed to say no, am I?”
He shook his head, smiling. “Nope. Come on, let's go.” 
Scoffing lightly, you concede and begin walking again. “You can take me to my subway stop and I can tell you which train to take to go back,” you offer, assuming he would need to be back at his hotel before it got too late at night. 
“No,” he said quickly. Your eyes widened at his tone and once he noticed your reaction, he lowered his voice. “I just… have these gut feelings. I'd like to escort you right to your dorm,” he clears his throat, “um, if I'm not crossing any lines.” 
You feel sympathy for him. Just looking at Mark, you can tell he's worried about you, but you can't quite see the reason. “Okay,” you agree softly. 
It's silent for a while as you both walk through the well-lit city. It's not until you pass a food truck on the way to the subway station that either of you says something again.
“You know, you and I walked around that park for hours and we didn't even know how late it was until the last minute,” Mark comments, still holding your hand and pulling back gently to keep you from walking past him. 
“Yeah, you're right,” you blush, you had to admit to yourself that you hadn't lost yourself in conversation or such comfortable silence like that even on a date. "We forgot to eat. Are you hungry?”
“Yeah,” Mark admits with a laugh, “and these hot dogs smell good.” 
You look up at him. “I'll buy.” You wriggle your hand out of his grasp and run toward the cart before Mark can catch you, readying your wallet. 
“Two hot dogs please, one with relish and one plain, please. Also, burn the plain one a little bit, thanks.” 
“You're slippery,” Mark says, watching you pay for the food.
“You bought me tea, it's only fair,” you stick your tongue out at him. He sighs and nods at you, only breaking his gaze when the man at the cart hands down the hot dogs a few moments later. “The one with relish is yours. You hate ketchup, right?” 
Mark takes his hot dog, eyes wide. “Uh, yeah,” he pauses. “I just haven't really told anyone outside the guys and my family.” 
You're halfway through a bite of your ‘dog and you nearly choke on it. 
“Hey, hey!” Mark reaches out for your shoulder, hoping that you wouldn't pass out. “Chew and swallow! Sorry, I didn't mean to freak you out.” 
You swallow and cough, shaking your head. “Don't worry, I'm fine,” you say. “This is just a weird feeling.” 
He nods. “Yeah. But I don't really mind it. Come on, let's walk some more.” 
It was totally surreal to you, walking and eating with Mark. He was right, there was this strange feeling washing over you every time you looked at him, different than watching him on a Vlive broadcast or music video. Like you knew something about him that nobody else did, and it made you feel both good and scared out of your mind. It felt invasive.
One subway stop and a little bit of a walk later, you both arrive at your dorm building. “Here we are,” you announce. “My roommate is probably going to kill me for coming back so late.”
“Should I go in with you? To protect you?” Mark is smiling, but you can tell there is a hint of seriousness. 
“If you want. She will probably ask for something from you, though.” You open the main doors and enter in your code, leading Mark in with you.
“Like what?” Mark furrows his eyebrows. “She's not weird, right?”
You nearly laugh out loud. “She's weird all right, just not the kind you're thinking of. She wanted me to get Haechan's number from you, but I got so absorbed in talking with you that I forgot to ask.” 
“Oh,” Mark is following you close behind, letting out a tiny sigh of relief. “That doesn't sound too bad, but his reaction should be interesting.” 
You shrugged. “You don't have to do it. Anyway-” You're cut off as the door to your apartment opens, Rhiannon stepping out and pressing her hands to her hips. 
“Look who's finally back,” she states, and you can immediately tell she is angry. “It's almost 1 AM!” 
“Shh! I'm sorry, okay? I lost track of time! I was with-” 
“Mark,” she says, her voice less harsh when she notices Mark is standing behind you, sheepishly smiling and waving at her. “At least you had the initiative to walk her home.” 
You squint at your best friend. It's clear she is trying not to freak out in front of him. “Are you gonna let me inside?” 
“Not yet,” she states. “Mark, I love you,” she says quickly, grabbing your arm and pulling you to her. You're smiling awkwardly at him, shrugging and mouthing ‘sorry’. 
Mark smiles awkwardly and nods at you. “Uh, thanks,”
“Thank you for bringing (Y/N) back. Has she asked you about Haechan?” 
“Yeah. I'll text you guys his number when I get back- which I probably should…”
You step forward. “Do you know how to get back?”
Mark shakes his head. “I think it's on Yorkville, I might have to use my GPS.” 
You shake your head. “It's easy to get there. Head to the station you and I were just on, take the southbound for 5 stops. Once you get above ground, you should be on that street.” 
Mark smiled at you. “Thank you.” He approached you to give you a hug, which felt warmer than the other two from earlier in the day. When he turned to leave, a pang hit your chest.
“Mark,” you called. Instantly he turned around, his expression curious. “Let me know when you get back safely.” 
He nodded, smiling warmly. “I will, I promise.” 
You watch him leave, a little shocked that spending the entire night with him didn't feel like it at all. You're only broken out of your thoughts when Rhiannon drags you inside your apartment and shuts the door.
“You scared me half to death, you bitch! At least text me when you're gonna stay out this late! I thought you were just having tea! I was this close to calling the cops!” She presses her index finger to her thumb and shoves her hand towards your face as you stand before her, a little humiliated.
“Your fingers are touching,” you say quietly, screwing your eyes shut.
“Exactly!” she exclaims. “I was one button away from speaking to 911! You're goddamn lucky I heard you and Mark coming down the hall!” You open your eyes when she gently touches your arm. “Don't scare me like that.”
“I'm sorry. I promise I'll keep in touch next time.” You smile awkwardly at her. “I was just so caught up in talking and trying to make sure it wasn't a dream.” 
Rhiannon nodded and returned your smile. “I know. You should go to bed, you have class in the morning.” 
“Yeah. Thanks for worrying about me.” 
Once you were in fresh pyjamas, you had some music on in the bathroom while you dry your hair with a towel. A quick shower before bed always was relaxing enough for you to fall asleep quickly. Snuggling up in bed after that long day was especially nice, gathering up your teddy bear to hug close. You're just about to drift off when your phone buzzes. 
Mark: Hey, I'm back safe. Thank you for the directions 
You: You're welcome
I had a really nice time tonight 
Mark: Me too
You have class tomorrow right 
You: Yeah, it's a short day though, just a small photoshop lab 
Mark: Do you want to hang out again when you're done? By the way, the number I promised - __________
You: I'd like that. Thanks, I'll forward it to her 
Haechan was cool with it right 
Mark: Me too :) yeah he was cool with it, he owed me a favour anyway 
Sleep well ok?
You: I will, you too? 
Mark: Yeah I promise 
Goodnight (Y/N)
You: Goodnight :)
After putting your phone down on your nightstand, you peacefully drifted off with a smile on your face.
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Agent H’s TV Reactions
So Not Worth it
-This was the dumbest, cheesiest show in existence and I LOVED it. If you want something EXTREMELY campy and lighthearted, this is it.
-Like I wouldn’t say the show is hilarious, but I genuinely did crack up laughing at least once an episode. 
-I feel like you can tell this show is written by people probably new to sitcoms and the fact that sitcoms aren’t as frequent in Korea makes me think that if this was an American show (purely bc we are much more familiar with sitcom format) and the overall show had a bit more confidence, it would be insanely popular
-There is a international drug ring subplot happening literally in the background  and that is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen a sitcom do
-I felt like they had no idea how a laugh track should work and it was distracting at first, but by second or third episode, it was barely noticeable
-It had a more diverse cast than I’ve seen in any Korean or American shows period. And in my limited familiarity with Korean, the pronunciations were really good. Like I was rewatching Itaewon Class with my mom at the same time, and, like, as much as I love Toni, the performances and pronunciations here were infinitely smoother and more natural. Like the actors weren’t worried about their pronunciations, so they could just kick back and just focus on acting
-Two things really worked in this show favor: 1) the cast had great chemistry together and flowed very naturally 2) It employed what I call “two-tone” character-building or the “Brooklyn Nine Nine” character method. It is giving your character a major defining trait and then a second, often contrasting, trait. All other development comes from filling in the shades of these two character traits. For example, Hans is a stickler for rules; however, he is very self-centered and will bend the rules to suit his own needs. Hyunmin is an endlessly optimistic and likable person; however, he has the worst luck possible. Carson is grumpy and mean but is very mature about love
-Hyunmin was by far the best. The actor had killer instincts for physical comedy, acting, and timing. Every time he entered the room, he made the scene ten times funnier. Also, he’s gorgeous, and it brought me endless joy to learn that he is a model in Korea.
-So ngl, I started this for Youngjae and 1) He was so cute and funny and I loved him  2) I wish he got a larger storyline but I did like the SamxMinnie storyline 3) I love that they called him SamSam :( 4) I really was hoping they’d make a GOT7 reference (or (G)I-dle bc I didn’t know Minnie was from (G)I-dle) lol 
-I liked the Korean title (I Hope the Earth Collapses Tomorrow) better than the English title bc I feel like So Not Worth It is too generic and doesn’t capture the nihilistic desperation of college. However, So Not Worth It does sound like a Nickelodeon sitcom and that is the closest genre I would put this show in 
-I felt so bad for Carson but she handled the breakup amazingly well and I just want her to be happy always 
-Uh, can I make Terris my Distinguished Bisexual on my Favorite Queer Character Alignment chart. The man dressed so well and and was so smart and suave, like hello~
-LISTEN. Il-seob was the softest gay with a crush I have seen in a LONG TIME. Terris was also the shiest, most useless bisexual I’ve seen in a long time. And I know LGBT stuff is still kind taboo in Korea, but with the very little they were allowed to work with, they NAILED it 
-Someone else pointed it out, but the fact that Hyunmin’s mom is not shamed (she’s even praised) as someone who’s older and been in multiple relationships but did not need commitment was really cool, especially as I’m sure that’s really looked down on in Korean society
-I could not stand Sewan and Jamie’s relationship. Individually, I loved them. At the beginning, I loved their friendship. But the relationship was needlessly, in-your-face gooey, and I kept being like “Okay this is a gag...Okay, this is just preface to a conflict...Oh no, they’re playing this completely seriously?!?!” The problem is that their relationship is just sappily romantic and it did not match with the rest of the show’s tone at all
-This show’s mood is just desperate chaoticness and if that doesn’t describe college in a nutshell, I don’t know what will
-”They can’t tell us apart anyway” Yass, make the racism work for you lol
-My only complaint is that I wish we got to see more of them doing classes and clubs and sports and whatnot because that is truly when all chaos is unleashed
-I need 50 more seasons 
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imlovethomassanders · 3 years
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Eyes are the Windows to the Soul(mates) - Chapter 4
You can also read on ao3
Thank you to @strongindependentcheesecake for beta reading
This work is complete, and new chapters will be added everyday until completion:
Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 5 (FINAL)
Summary: The lucky few who have a soulmate are born with heterochromia, with their left eye being the color of their soulmate’s eyes and their right eye being their own color. Not only was Virgil one of the lucky few to have a soulmate, but he was given four. His left eye changed colors every time he blinked, rotating between his four soulmates’ eye colors. His rotating eye colors caused him to be a bit of an outcast growing up, but when he finally leaves for college, things start to fall into place. This is the journey of five strangers finding each other.
Pairings: DLAMP with background Remile
Warnings: None I believe
Words: 3924
Taglist:  @touchstarvedvirgil @lamp-calm-sanders @ninjago2020 @confinesofpersonalknowledge @secret-novelisthost18 @phander-sides @sherlock-lives-on-bakerstreet @bookbingingproblem @viana-dascolli @sharktryingtofly @crofters-n-falsehoods @turnedthefreakingfrogsgay @little-kat07 @romano-hottopic​
Logan had been too worried about Roman and his eyes to talk to Patton and Virgil. It had been two weeks since they last video called, and Patton and Virgil were getting worried. For the first few days, Logan said he was sick. Then he had a lot of homework, then he had a migraine, then he had to study, then he had to help Emile with studying, or whatever excuse he could think of. He knew Patton and Virgil didn't buy it, but he was grateful they didn't push him.
Patton: How are you feeling today sweetie? Virgil: think you can talk to us today? Logan: I'm in the apartment elevator. As soon as I get home I will turn on my laptop and call you. Patton: !!!! :D <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
Emile wasn't home yet, so Logan assumed he was still out with Remy. He went to his bedroom and opened his laptop, and a video call request popped up as soon as Logan came online.
"Hello-"
"LOGAN YOUR EYES!!" Patton exclaimed, Virgil wincing next to him. "Who?? When?? Where??"
Um, a couple weeks ago," Logan admitted. "We... had a bit of a rough start."
"You okay, Logan?" Virgil asked.
"Yes, things are getting better. We actually have a date tomorrow."
Patton squealed. "Oh, when can we meet them?? I can't wait to meet them!!"
Logan texted Roman that they were excited to meet him. Even though Virgil waited to meet Logan in person, that wait was only a couple days. Since Patton and Virgil probably wouldn't be able to meet Roman in person until the end of the semester, they decided to video call tomorrow.
Logan got to Roman's apartment a little before noon, and Remy was already gone. Roman said he wasn't too upset about being kicked out, since he got to use this as an excuse to go see Emile. Logan remembered Emile being particularly giddy as he left.
Logan was surprised when Roman pulled him into a hug as soon as the door opened.
"Hello," he said, muffled against Roman's chest. He prayed his cheeks weren't as red as they felt.
"It's wonderful to see you," Roman said as he let go of Logan. "I made tea. Do you like tea?"
He started talking again before Logan got a chance to respond.
"Oh, I'm so excited. You're going to love these. Which ones do you want to watch first?" Roman asked as he shoved a mug into Logan's hands.
"Show me your favorites."
Roman beamed.
A relaxing afternoon passed into evening. Roman and Logan had spent much of the time poking fun at inconsistencies in the movies, or Logan holding back laughter as Roman dramatically sang along to the songs.
Logan's phone buzzed in his pocket.
"Patton and Virgil are almost back to their dorm. They will be ready to call us when they arrive."
"Oh, wonderful!" Roman said.
Their moods had been so playful, it was easy to notice Roman's mood shift as his leg started shaking.
"Are you okay?" Logan asked.
"I'm fine," Roman said, but winced when his voice cracked.
"There is no need to worry," Logan said as he pulled his laptop out of his bag and Roman paused the movie. "I know they are very excited to meet you."
Roman gave him a grateful smile as Logan clicked the "Accept Call" button.
The few moments it took for the video to load dragged on for what felt like forever before the image of two men appeared on screen, one with pale skin and dark hair and the other covered in freckles with golden curls.
Roman's breath hitched at how absolutely gorgeous they were.
"Ohmygosh! Hello!!" the curly one exclaimed with a giant grin. "I'm Patton! It's so so wonderful to finally meet you!"
"Hey," the other one said, not nearly as energetic. "I'm Virgil."
"I'm Roman Kingsley. I'm so glad to finally meet my soulmates," Roman said as he flashed a grin. "And may I just say, that you two are two of the most beautiful beings I have ever been blessed enough to see."
Patton squealed in delight as he grabbed Virgil's hand while Virgil's cheeks grew a dark shade of red.
Conversation followed easily for them, and all of Roman's worries melted away. Roman glanced over to see Logan looking at him with eyes softer than he'd ever seen before. Roman smiled back and took Logan's hand and the two turned their attention back towards Patton and Virgil.
They were all so incredible. Roman swore he was in love.
*
"Logan?" Roman asked. He was laying on the couch with his head resting on Logan's lap. It was late Saturday night, and the two were exhausted after spending most of the day unpacking boxes. Roman and Emile were switching places so they could each live with their soulmates (Emile made sure he and Logan kept in touch - plus, double dates with them were now a common occurrence).
"Hm?" Logan hummed as he ran his fingers through Roman's hair.
"How long until winter break?"
"Thirty more days, dear."
It had been almost two months since Roman and Logan first met. And since Roman had met Patton and Virgil, too, he had been counting the days until he would finally get to see them in person.
"That's too long."
"I know."
Roman reached for Logan's hand that wasn't in his hair, but he didn't take it. Instead he just held his hand out for Logan to grab. Roman had been prepared to move at a fairly fast pace once he met his soulmates, but Logan clearly wanted to take it slow. So Roman was patient and let Logan set the pace. It took a couple weeks for Logan to hold his hand in public, a couple weeks more for Logan to cuddle with him. Some days, Logan didn't feel like being touched at all, so they'd sit in the same room on different chairs, just enjoying each other's company.
"Not that I'm not content with you," Roman quickly added. Logan opened his mouth to speak but Roman didn't notice. "I'm so unbelievably happy when I'm with you. Though I'm excited to meet Pat and Virge, you make me so much happier than I ever imagined I could be-"
"I know, Roman. I'm excited to see them, too."
Roman smiled up at him as he squeezed Logan's hand.
"...You're gorgeous," Roman said softly as he gazed up at Logan. Logan's face tinted pink as he glanced away.
"I-... you-... Thank you," Logan managed to stammer as he looked back at Roman, letting go of his hand just to run his hand down the side of Roman's face. "...May I kiss you?"
Roman's eyes widened as he sat up. "Are you sure? Because if so, then yes. Absolutely yes. But I don't want you to feel rushed or-"
"I want to, Roman," Logan assured, a tad embarrassed. Roman gave him a gentle smile as he placed a hand on Logan's cheek. He leaned in slightly but let Logan close the gap. Roman sighed happily as his eyes fluttered closed. He went to raise his other hand to Logan's cheek but Logan' separated, eyes wide and cheeks red.
"Are you okay?"
Logan nodded. "That was... really nice."
Roman smiled.
"Can I... Can I kiss you again?"
Roman nodded as he placed his hands back on Logan's cheeks. This time Logan placed his hand on the back of Roman's neck to pull him just a bit closer, not that Roman minded. Logan was the one to pull back first again, but only for a couple seconds before he pulled Roman back to him.
Roman kept the kiss slow and soft as Logan's hands held tightly on him, firm grip trying to pull them as close together as he could. Roman moved his arms around Logan's waist, aiding in pushing together. Soft gasps were escaping them both as their chests were pressed together.
The next time Logan pulled away, he just wrapped his arms around Roman and buried his head into the crook of Roman's neck. Roman smiled as he placed a kiss onto the side of Logan's head while rubbing soothing circles on his back.\
"Roman, I... I think that I... I0" Logan huffed out a frustrated sigh as he struggled to finish his sentence, his grasp around Roman tightening.
"I know, Logan," Roman assured him with a smile. "I know. Me, too."
*
Roman groaned and shut his laptop. He had done enough school work for tonight. Probably.
He ran his hands over his face. His eyes stung slightly from staring at a bright screen for so long in the dark room. Glancing at the clock, he was surprised to see it was already nine o'clock. Logan had gone out to attend some seminar for extra credit, not that he needed it. With Roman no longer tapping away at the keyboard, he noticed the light pattering of rain.
He pushed his chair away from his desk and fell onto his bed, reaching for his phone. He didn't know when Logan would be back, but he hoped it would be soon. The apartment got lonely when he wasn't around.
Roman was about to text the group chat to see how Patton and Virgil were doing when he got a phone call from the emo nightmare himself.
Surprised, but in no way complaining, he happily tapped the answer button.
"Hello, my darling. How are-"
"Roman," Virgil gasped out, and Roman was immediately worried. He sat up in the bed, mind racing with what could be wrong. Was he hurt? "I'm sorry. This is so stupid, but Patton's not at the dorm and- Oh, it's getting late I shouldn't have called I'm sorry-"
"Virgil," Roman interrupted. Virgil was already breathing heavy - Roman didn't want him to work himself up even more. "What's wrong, dove?"
"It's stupid," Virgil muttered.
"Virgil."
"...It's storming. And thunderstorms make my anxiety spike."
As if on cue, Roman heard a loud clap of thunder in the background followed by a sharp intake of breath from Virgil.
"That's not stupid," Roman said, affection dripping in his voice. "Just focus on my voice, dove. Follow my breathing."
Roman took a few deep breaths, listening as Virgil followed, and his breathing eventually grew steadier.
"Perfect. You're doing wonderful."
Roman led Virgil through breathing a bit longer until Virgil's breathing was back to normal.
"Thanks, Roman," Virgil said quietly.
"Of course, darling. I'll always be here for you, to protect or comfort. Whatever ails you, I'll work to destroy it."
"Sap."
Roman couldn't help but smile. The sound of rustling blankets came through the phone.
"...Hey, Ro?"
"Hmm?"
"Can you, um, sing for me?" Virgil asked quietly. A large grin grew on Roman's face, his heart burning with so much love for the man on the other end of the phone that it almost hurt.
"Of course I can."
Roman started to sing softly all the love songs he knew, anything he thought could even begin to portray how much he was already in love with him.
"I wish you were here," Virgil said, his soft voice making it evident he was getting sleepy. "So your voice wasn't muddled by the phone."
"I wish I was there, too. To hold you and let you know that as long as I'm around, nothing is going to harm you. Not even thunder."
Virgil chuckled softly.
"I wish you could hold me."
"And I will, love," Roman said earnestly. "As soon as I can."
Virgil yawned.
"Sing me to sleep?"
"Anything you need, Virgil."
*
Fluffball <3: Everyone get on video call!!
Roman shook Logan's shoulder, who was sitting by him, to get his attention. He showed Logan the text and Logan grabbed his laptop.
"Hey sweeties!" Patton said the same time Virgil said "'Sup."
"Hello, dearests," Roman said the same time Logan said "Salutations."
"So we all agreed to get together the first couple weeks before Christmas so we could still go see our families on the holidays, right?" Patton started, smile wide in excitement.
"Yes, Patton." Logan said.
"Well, I found a place in my home town we could rent for those weeks. So we can spend the time by ourselves instead of making our schedule around my parents," Patton said sheepishly. "If we all pitch in, I know we could afford it."
"That sounds incredible, Pat," Roman answered with a large smile. Patton's grin grew wider.
"I'll email y'all the details."
*
Roman was shaking his leg as Logan drove. He was finally, finally, after far too many months, on his way to see Patton and Virgil.
"There's nothing to worry about," Logan assured him. "They are both very fond of you. Just... be prepared for a really big Patton hug when you walk through the door."
Roman was looking forward to it.
Roman knew Patton and Virgil almost as well as he knew Logan due to the constant texts and video calls, though that could never compare to finally being able to see his darling soulmates in person.
Logan held Roman's hand as they walked up the path to the front door. He didn't have time to knock before the door flew open and Logan was pulled inside, yanking Roman in with him.
"Roman!!" Roman heard someone shout before they threw themself into his arms. "Oh my gosh it's so wonderful to finally meet you in person!"
Roman pulled back to see Patton looking up at him, absolutely beaming. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Virgil and Logan hugging while exchanging "I missed you"s, but right now all he wanted was to focus on the little puffball in his arms.
"Hello, dear," Roman said with a large smile as he pulled Patton back to him. Patton let out a loud squeal of laughter as Roman picked him up and spun him around.
"I can not express how ecstatic I am to finally hold you," Roman said as he put Patton down, taking the opportunity to cover his face in kisses. "My dear, my darling, my love, I've been waiting for this day for as long as I can remember, and oh, how gorgeous you are in person."
Patton's face was very red as Roman finished talking, Logan and Virgil watching in amusement. Roman panicked for a moment, thinking he had gone too far, but Patton just threw his arms back around Roman and pressed kisses to his cheek.
"You're so sweet! I'm so happy you're here," Patton said as he pulled back.
Virgil gently placed a hand on Patton's arm, and he let out a little "oh" before stepping aside, turning his attention to Logan.
"Logan! I've missed you!" Patton exclaimed as he threw his arms around Logan, but quickly pulled away once he remembered Logan's occasional aversion to being touched. But Logan wrapped his arms around Patton, and Patton smiled before hugging him again.
"I've missed you, too."
"Uh, hey, Roman," Virgil said a bit sheepishly as Patton turned to Logan.
"Hello, Virgil,"  Roman said with a grin as he stepped closer. There were a couple of moments of silence, then Virgil threw his arms around Roman and Roman quickly reciprocated, placing a hand on Virgil's back and pressing him against his chest.
"It's lovely to finally see you, darling," Roman whispered as Virgil took a shaky breath and hid his face in the crook of Roman's neck. "I'm here now. It's okay."
"We're all together!" Patton squealed happily as he wrapped his arms around the two of them, and Roman felt Virgil smile against his skin.
Roman gave Logan an expectant smile, holding out his hand for Logan to take. And when he did, Roman pulled him into the group hug.
"It's really nice to finally be with all of you," Virgil muttered against Roman, voice cracking just slightly. Roman tightened his arm around him.
"It is," Patton beamed. "I'm so happy."
*
Roman groaned as he stood up off the couch and stretched his arms up, hearing his bones pop in the process. The four of them had gone out to eat that night, and it had been pure magic. It wasn't a particularly grand place, just a small diner around the corner, but the four of them being in the same place for the first time was just wonderful. Roman could put his arm around Patton, or reach over to take Logan or Virgil's hands. The way the four of them clicked together so naturally made Roman feel like he was walking on air.
Oh, how lucky he was to be blessed with soulmates.
When they got home, they had put a movie on the TV. But after a long day of travelling, Logan and Roman didn't last half the movie. When Roman woke up, Virgil had also fallen asleep and Patton was gone, but Roman could hear humming in the kitchen.
"Oh, hello, sweetie," Patton said as Roman walked in. "I'm making tea, would you like some?"
Roman nodded as he reached out towards Patton but hesitated. Patton then gently grabbed his arm and pulled Roman towards him.
"You don't have to worry about me. I always want cuddles," Patton sighed happily as he rested his head on Roman's chest. "You don't have to ask."
"But what if one day you don't-"
"Then I'll make sure to tell you. Though there's never been a day in my life I didn't want hugs."
Roman rested his cheek on Patton's fluffy hair and sighed. "I... I'm honestly sort of relieved. Obviously I'm not upset about Logan's boundaries, but..."
"You can tell me, honey," Patton urged as he tightened his grip around Roman. "It's alright."
"It's just... I've been fighting my insecurities for as long as I can remember. And physical affection just makes me feel better, I guess. It makes me feel secure and wanted," Roman said, voice getting softer from embarrassment. "And when I feel like I need it but Logan doesn't want to be touched, I just keep my mouth shut on how I'm feeling to not make him feel guilty."
"I get it," Patton said as he stepped back to cup Roman's face. "Virgil's the same way. Less often than Logan, but the same.
But I don't think you should hide how you're feeling from Logan. He'd feel bad you felt the need to hide from him. I just know he would want to know so he could find a way to help you. He loves you, Roman."
Roman huffed a bit as he pulled away from Patton to sit on the counter.
"But I don't want him to think I'm trying to pressure him."
"I know, I know. Roman... I get sad often. For no real reason in particular, sometimes. And physical affection helps me feel better, too. And just like Logan with you, Virgil is usually more than happy to help me. But for a while I, too, felt like I needed to keep it to myself because I didn't want to bother him."
"And?"
"He figured out, and he told me to tell him whenever I'm feeling sad. And we've found other ways. I'll sit next to him and we'll watch cat videos, or he'll show me his favorite music. Sometimes he'll say he can handle a little bit of touching and he lets me hold his hand or rest my head on his shoulder. But nothing is going to get better if you keep it to yourself."
Roman ducked his head as Patton gingerly pushed hair away from his face.
"Yeah, you're right," Roman said quietly. Patton pressed a kiss to his cheek. A smile grew on Roman's face. "And one day, we'll all live together, and we'll all balance each other out and love each other in our different ways. We'll never be more than a name call away from all the affection we need. Plus, while I'm here with you, I'll always be more than happy to give you lots and lots of attention."
Patton returned his soft smile as he cupped Roman's cheek. The two gazed at each other for a moment before connecting their lips, pulling the other towards them as close as they could.
The kiss was so incredibly soft. The two had to break apart for a moment just because their smiles grew so big, but they immediately reconnected their lips. It was gentle, just like Patton. Roman couldn't help but melt against him, promising himself that he was going to get as many Patton kisses as he could in his lifetime.
"I don't think I'll be able to handle another semester away from you," Patton said with a melancholy smile as they parted. Roman kissed him.
"Only a couple more years, darling. Then I'll be all yours."
*
Over the following days, Roman had the three of his loves in arms reach at all times. He could finally cuddle Patton against him or wrap Virgil tightly in his arms (and he'd never get tired of holding Logan). But the bliss couldn't last forever, and the day for them to leave for the holidays arrived.
Logan and Patton didn't have a far drive at all considering they were already in their hometown. Virgil had a good few hours, but Roman had to drive to the airport to get home, meaning he had to get up early in the morning and leave significantly sooner than the others.
"I'll see you soon, Specs," Roman said with a sad smile.
Logan met Roman halfway for a kiss. "See you soon."
Patton had been holding back tears all morning. But when Roman pulled him into a tight hug, he couldn't help that a few tears fell down his cheeks.
"Hey now, it's okay, darling. We'll see each other again soon. I lo- I'll miss you."
Patton's eyes widened and Roman tried not to wince at his slip up. But Patton gently placed a hand on Roman's cheek and pulled him down into a kiss.
"I love you," Patton whispered. Roman kissed him again.
"I love you, too."
They shared one more brief kiss before Patton let him go.
"I'll bring your bag out for you," Virgil said and walked out the door before Roman could say anything.
Roman gave one last goodbye to Patton and Logan and followed his other love.
"Call me when you land," Virgil said. "Want to make sure your plane didn't crash."
Virgil put Roman's suitcase in his trunk and slammed it shut. He wasn't looking at Roman.
"And drive safe. I know you like to play your music loud but be careful."
"I will."
"Well, um. I guess this is goodbye," Virgil said, staring at the ground.
"...Please look at me, darling."
Virgil huffed but slowly lifted his head, showing his red cheeks and puffy eyes.
"Oh, my dear," Roman said as Virgil let him pull him into a hug. "It'll be okay. We'll see each other again soon."
"I know," Virgil muttered into Roman's shirt. Virgil pulled away slowly, then placed his hands on Roman's cheeks to pull Roman down into a kiss. Roman pulled Virgil as tightly against him as he could, wishing this didn't have to end.
"I love you," Virgil whispered, surprising Roman. But he smiled.
"I love you, too. So much."
"Call me," Virgil said as he let Roman go.
"I will."
Virgil pressed one more quick kiss to Roman's lips before walking inside. And Roman smiled.
This is going to work out perfectly, he thought.
69 notes · View notes
eideticmemory · 4 years
Text
EVER SINCE NEW YORK II | MATTHEW GRAY GUBLER
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Description: Description: I was messaged saying: “If you don’t write a young Matthew enemies to lovers fic featuring an obsession with sucking on boobs then what’s the point 😔.” So, here it is, folks! The ultimate College!Matthew fic.
PART 2! Read Part 1 here.
Soundtrack:
Maps - Maroon 5.
Me & Ur Ghost - Blackbear.
Keep You Close - Frenship.
Word Count: 3,341.
Rating: M.
Warning/Includes: Sexual intercourse, substance use, a bit of angst.
Fall, Sophomore Year.
Tisch School of the Arts,
New York University.
New York City. 
“Okay, you know what?” You scoffed, throwing your hands up in surrender. “I give up. I don’t give a fuck anymore.”
Claire laughed from behind you, “You alright over there?”
“No,” you grumbled. You pressed down on the black frame, using all your might to make the command strip stick to the wall. Yet, when you stepped back, it would pop off of the surface, and your ballet poster was lopsided. It’d been a vicious cycle for 10 minutes. “This goddamn command strip won’t stick. What the fuck?” 
“Okay, grumpy, step away from the poster,” Claire ordered, grabbing onto your shoulders and escorting you to the center of the room. “The room looks great, [y/n], why are you so stressed?” 
“I am not stressed. I am frustrated, and those damn command strips aren’t cheap. I’m pissed.” 
“Okay, staples queen, tell you what,” she sighed. “I will go buy you a pack of command strips and personally mount the poster myself, okay?” 
You looked up at Claire, giving her a soft smile. “Did I win the roommate lottery or what?”
“Yeah, but better not say stuff like that too much. People are gonna start thinking we’re a different type of roommates.”
You laughed, and shook your head at her. 
“[y/n], what’s up?” Claire asked. “You’ve been moody as fuck ever since we moved back in for the semester. Classes haven’t even started yet and you’re moping around. What’s going on?”
Well, Claire, you thought. I’m glad you asked. I’m glad you brought it up, because I’ve been dying to talk about it for a while. You see, I fucked my mortal enemy, and it was so good that I did it a second time. And no, I’m not talking about my cinematography professor, I’m talking about Matthew. Gubler. I fucked Matthew Gubler. Yes, I know. Hell has frozen over. Because I hated him. I hate him. I think he’s awful. Especially since he thinks it’s okay to fuck someone, ignore their existence, fuck them again, ignore their existence, and then leave them with a vague ass note? 505. 505! I’ve looked up every possible meaning of 505 that there is. The song, urban dictionary, numerology. And I can’t figure the shit out. And it doesn’t help that Matthew didn’t say a word to me over summer break. I’m just lost and confused and I know you would understand and you would know what to do. 
But it’s Matthew. 
And I can’t tell anyone. Especially you. 
“Last semester was a royal disaster,” you sighed. “I just don’t wanna overwhelm myself again. Y’know with class, and shows, and parties. I wanna do right this semester, but it’s a little stressful. So, I’m a little stressed.” 
Claire looked at you for a long time, eyebrows lowered and her eyes scanning your face. She had a gut feeling that you were lying, but didn’t wanna be a bitch. So she bit her tongue. 
“Let’s go get something to eat,” she smiled. 
Classes started that following Monday. Your first lecture was at 10 o’clock. And you woke up at 10:15. Having showered the night before, you brushed your teeth, put on your outfit and fixed your hair all in ten minutes and hiked it across campus in 4 minutes. You rushed up to the classroom door, and entered the lecture very calmly. People were scattered about in the auditorium, some towards the sides, a lot front and center. But only one person sitting in the very back row.
Matthew. 
Too occupied with explaining yourself to your professor, you didn’t notice Matthew until a few minutes after entering. You refused to make eye contact with him, nervously staring at your feet as you walked over to him. And took a seat at his side. 
“Hey.”
“Hey.” 
Those were the only words spoken for an hour and fifteen minutes. However, within 10 minutes of seeing you again, Matthew began to rub your thigh. His fingers grazed the top of your leg, slowly but surely making their way to your inner thigh. You held your breath, staring up at the professor the whole time and pretending to take notes. 
When Matthew’s fingers pressed against your clit, you almost gasped. But you kept your mouth shut, stifling the sound. He smirked to himself, only glancing at you when you were too shaken up to notice. You propped up the screen of your laptop, hiding your face behind it so you could let out quiet moans. You were so sensitive, and very glad that you wore a skirt to class. 
Matthew’s fingers slid your panties to the side and made skin to skin contact with your clit, applying pressure as he rubbed you. You exhaled for a long time, swear words wanting to fly out of your mouth instead. The professor’s words drowned out a long time ago, and at this point you didn’t care. You just needed to come. 
Matthew remembered the way you liked to be touched, he had to. Because he was able to bring you to the edge so quickly, it was insane. You clenched your thighs around his wrist to signal your nearing release, and he grinned. 
You rested your head on the keyboard of your laptop, hiding from everyone as you came. Your jaw dropped, and you had to stop yourself from groaning too loudly. Matthew removed his hand from under your skirt. He sucked on the tips of his fingers, just to get the taste of you on his tongue. Then, with only 2 minutes left in class, he packed up his stuff and walked out.
You should’ve dropped the class. At the very least, sat somewhere else. But you didn’t. You stayed in that course. With Matthew. In the back row. And wore skirts every other day for a month. Some days he would repeat the action, and some days he wouldn’t. It was like he could tell how desperate you were each time. And if you were really desperate, he simply didn’t touch you. It sucked, but it kept you on your toes. 
He missed class one day, and to cope, you had a dream about him that night. You imagined him using his mouth on you, in an empty lecture hall, bending you over the desk, making you come. When you woke up, you were in a cold sweat. You couldn’t believe you were having thoughts like this about Matthew Gubler. But you were. 
You hopped out of bed, put on your slippers, and left the room to go to the vending machines. Holding a soda and some candy, you walked back to your dorm room silently. Alerted by the sound of footsteps, you turned your head down the hall to see Claire walking out of someone’s room. She noticed you and rushed up to you with a big smile. 
“Hey!” She beamed. “What are you doing up?”
“Oh, uh, I couldn’t sleep. Where you been?”
She sighed happily, “I’ve been doing adult things, [y/n], I cannot lie.” She wrapped her arm around your shoulder as you both walked to your room. “I’m in love, kid. It’s crazy.”
“You’re in love? With who?”
“Ah, that will soon be revealed, my dear [y/n].” 
That weekend, you two invited everyone to come hang out at your dorm. Someone was able to swipe some liquor, and it was a party. A handful of people, getting a little tipsy, music in the background. Claire insisted Matthew be invited, but you weren’t expecting him to show up. But of course, he did. Because he’s a nuisance. 
He laid down on Claire’s bed and she sat beside him, the two of them quickly joining the conversation at hand. You tried not to look like a kicked puppy, tried not to pout, to sulk, to watch. But inch by inch, second by second, Claire moved closer to Matthew, until by the end of the night, her head was on his chest. 
That Monday, you sat in the front of the class. 
And every class after that for the next month. 
Missing your daily release, you became cranky and nasty and moody. You didn’t mean to, but that’s how it happened. To help you get over the nagging feeling, you went out one Saturday night. A group of friends dragged you along to a dorm party in the next building over. You used it as an excuse to dress up, ignore your homework and get some fresh air. In a tight purple dress, you walked into the booming dorm. It was packed, smelled like booze and filled with heat. 
A cup of vodka in your hand, it wasn’t until about two hours in that you realized you didn’t want to party. You sat on the couch the whole time, fiddling with your hands and the hem of your dress. You’d drank an entire solo cup of alcohol by then, and you were starting to get tired. Your friends had gotten lost a long time ago, and you knew it was fruitless to look for them. So, you picked yourself up and started to head for the exit. 
“[y/n]!” 
You turned around to see a guy walking towards you. Jonathan. “Hey, John, what the hell is going on?” You asked, noticing him supporting another guy on his shoulder. His friend was a drunken, sloppy mess, and could barely stand.
“Our boy Steve here had a little too much to drink,” John replied. “I’m taking him back to his room. You going back to your place?”
You nodded, “Yeah. I am.”
“Okay, do you mind helping me with him? Please? I’ll give you a dollar.”
You laughed, shook your head and put your arm around Steve’s waist. “Ooh, a dollar! Sounds exciting.” 
It was cold, and you shivered on the way back to your dorm building. Steve only lived down the hall from you, so helping wasn’t too far out of the way for you. John used Steve’s key to let the three of you into Steve’s suite, guiding both of you to Steve’s room. 
You both worked together to lay Steve down on his mattress. You covered him with his blanket. 
“You’re a lifesaver,” John told you. “We both are actually.”
“Maybe we should start a business. We escort drunk people home for a small fee of $100.”
He laughed, “I’m in as long as you dress like that every time.”
You blushed, and ducked your head down to hide it. 
“What’s going on in here?” A voice called to you two. 
You looked up at the threshold to see Matthew standing there, looking sleepy, disheveled, shirtless, and beautiful. 
“Hey, Gube,” John greeted. “[y/n] and I were just dropping Steve off. Kid couldn’t  hold his liquor.” 
Matthew scoffed, “You could’ve left him there. Let him get dicks drawn on his face.”
“Well, aren’t you full of love?” John laughed. “No, seriously, I’ve gotta text Lindsey and let her know I’m staying in for tonight.” He padded at his pocket, followed by a loud groan, “Fuck, I left my phone at the party. Fuck me.” 
“That’s a higher power trying to tell you that you need to stay out longer,” Matthew said. 
John smirked at him, “You’re right. Wonderful insight, Gubler.”
John walked out of the door, heading for the exit, and you followed him, avoiding eye contact with Matthew. As the two of you approached the front door, you froze. John exited the suite, not noticing that he was leaving you behind. And you would’ve moved if you had the power. 
Hanging on the door of the suite was the room number: 505.
Your breath caught in your throat. 505. The room number. The room number of the suite you saw Claire leaving that day. 505.
“What took you so long?” Matthew asked, standing behind you. 
You released your breath, goosebumps crawling on your skin as you felt him get closer to you. Your heart raced, your body trembled. You had a physical response to being near this boy. It was intense. 
“I’m not doing this, Matthew,” you whispered. 
“Doing what? We’re just talking.”
You turned around to face him, suddenly very angry, “No! You know what I’m talking about! You know what I’m talking about! And it’s gone on for long enough, Matthew. I’m out!” You kept your voice quiet, but still aggressive. You turned to exit the dorm, but he grabbed onto your waist and pulled you into him. 
“Listen, Princess Peach,” he said.
“Fuck you—“
“Listen. I don’t know what your deal is, but I do know that I miss you—“
“You’re full of shit. You just wanna fuck.”
“That’s what I said. I miss you. I mean, for such a short person, your pussy packs a punch.”
“You’re disgusting.”
“Face it,” he murmured. “You may hate me, but your pussy doesn’t.”
Your body melted into his at the sound of his voice. The feeling of his hands running down your body, landing on your thigh. “Just admit it. Or tell me to stop.” His fingers trailed under your dress, the tips grazing you through your panties. Your head rolled back at the gentle touch and he took that as an invitation to kiss your neck. 
“Cmon, shortcake, tell me to stop,” he mumbled. “Tell me to stop.” 
You responded by wrapping your hands around his throat, using all your strength to push him out the living room couch. He chuckled under his breath, stumbling back onto the cushion and pulling you into his lap. 
“Oh, you gonna choke me?” He asked, his voice coming out strained. “Okay, princess, you hate me so much? You can’t stand me?” He pushed his pants down to reveal his erection. “Fuck me like it then.” 
You crashed your lips onto his and pushed him back onto the couch, reaching down to grab his cock. You pulled your panties to the side and teased him against your core, moaning as his tip rubbed against your clit. You sank down onto his dick, feet pressed into the couch, hands holding his neck. 
He stared up at you as you fucked him — fast and careless. Swear words fell off of his lips uncontrollably, his hands pawing at your breast. Your boobs fit perfectly in his palm and he was obsessed. He had to bite down on his bottom lip to stay quiet, grunting into his mouth. 
“F-fuck,” he panted. “Wait, wait.” 
You leaned in and kissed him roughly, grinding your hips against his. You made sure to stay silent, giving no indication that you were experiencing so much pleasure. 
“H-hey — shit, fuck,” he groaned. “Wait.”
Matthew placed his hands on your ass, his eyes closed tight, his body tensing up as you rode him into the wall. “Oh, fuck!” He exclaimed, and lifted you off of his cock. Quickly, just in time for him to release all over his stomach. He panted, he quivered, he mumbled soft, dirty words. Whispered something about you. 
As pretty a sight as it was, you refused to sit there and stare. So, you stood up, pulled the hem of your dress down. And this time, you left. Not a word said. Nothing. 
Matthew followed you on instagram that night. You didn’t accept the request for a week, and when you did, you didn’t follow him back. He tried to add you on snapchat, but you declined it. You continued to sit far away from him in class, giving him no access. He brought you a drink at a party once and you asked for water instead. When he returned with the water, you had already left. 
He had met his match. You dominated him, successfully, fearlessly, and without even trying. He wanted more. But you liked to watch him so squirm, so you didn’t give in. 
Christmas break rolled around, and instead of focusing on the actual holiday, you and your friends planned your first spring break vacation. A group of you would head to South Beach for the week, and stay at a relative’s beach house. 
You sat on your bed, trying to map out the cost of the trip. “So it’s me, you, the four of them...Claire, are you listening to me?”
“Is this a good Christmas gift for Matthew?” 
You turned your head to her quickly, “Huh?” 
“This,” she held up the book - The Magic Encyclopedia. “You think Matthew will like it?”
“Claire,” you sighed. “What are you doing?” 
“What do you mean?”
“What are you doing simping over this boy? Buying him gifts? This isn’t you, Claire.”
“Leave me alone, [y/n], okay? We’re just friends. And he told me he bought me a gift so I got him one. Jeez, do you have to hate him so much?” She pouted, dropping the book into a gift bag. 
“Um, actually, yeah I do,” you nodded. “He’s a dick.”
A knock rang at the door, and as Claire hopped up, she pointed her finger at you, “That’s him. Do not pick a fight.”
You rolled your eyes and went back to planning. Matthew stepped into the room, carrying a bag in one hand. He used his other hand to cup Claire’s face and give her a small kiss on the cheek. “Santa Claus is here!” He exclaimed. 
“Gimme, gimme, gimme!” Claire pleaded, reaching for the gift bag. 
“Wow, Claire, I’m hurt. You’re so materialistic.” He chuckled. 
“Oh, please, Gube,” she scoffed. “Give me my gift.”
“Okay,” he reached into the bag and pulled out a small box, wrapped into festive paper. “I got this for you, Claire,” he handed her the box. “And I even got something for your roommate here.”
You picked your head up, face ridden with confusion. Matthew licked his lips as he held the gift out to you, “I saw it and I couldn’t help myself. Merry Christmas, short stack.” 
“Aw, Gube!” Claire squealed. Matthew let her tuck herself under his arm and hug him. “You’re so sweet.”
You stared at the tiny box in your hands, feeling it’s weight. “Thanks...” you whispered.
“Here, open what I got you,” Claired ordered Matthew, stepping over to her bed and grabbing the gift bag. She handed it to him with a wide smile, and giggled as he reached inside. 
“Wow!” He cheered, holding the book in his hand. “Holy shit, Claire. This is incredible, thank you!”
“I knew how much you wanted that book so I remembered to get it,” she said. “So, I hope your gift for me is as impressive.”
“It is.”
As the two of them spoke, you opened up your own gift, quietly, hiding it behind your pillow. Claire unwrapped Matthew’s gift, and squealed. “Shut up! Where did you find this film?”
“Amazon!” he replied. “That fancy camera of yours only takes a certain type of film so I wanted you to be stocked.”
You pulled the item out of the box, focused on figuring out what it was. It was cold, metallic, and shone under the light as it was revealed. 
“Oh, Gube!” Claire pulled him into a hug. “This is incredible!”
It was an antique. A silver polished miniature  ballerina, perched on a pedestal. There was a knob on the side, and when turned, the ballerina twirled. It was precious. 
You looked over at Matthew and Claire, watching as they broke out of their hug and looked at each other. “I expect a bunch of pictures when I get back,” he told her, backing out of the room. 
“And I expect a professional magician,” she winked. Yuck. Claire turned her head to you after Matthew left, grinning, “What’d he get you?” 
You quickly pushed the ballerina back in the box, shaking your head. “Socks. Mismatched socks. Very funny.” You replied. 
She giggled, “But hey, a gift! That’s growth!”
“Yeah, whatever,” you grumbled. 
“Matthew’s great,” She said. “You’ll get to know him better soon, since he’s coming to the beach with us.”
“He’s what?”
[PART 3.]
685 notes · View notes
theficplug · 4 years
Text
|Next Lifetime|Erik Killmonger|
previous chapters : Part 1 Part 2  Part 3 
erik killmonger x black reader
|part 4|
warnings: um definitely smut this chapter at the end. so 18+ for this chapter! and a possible trigger warning for grief but i promise it gets better and its a romcom.
synopsis:  reader grieves Erik until she doesn’t (i’m trying not give too much away). This one is a long ass chapter. So, grab you a snack and something to drink! I hope y’all like it.
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“You promised on our birthday that you would give me something far more special than the charms you would gift to me. In 2018, you wanted to avenge your birth parents and you went off and did something foolish and when you- when they returned you to me you were-.” you struggle for a bit to find the words to explain it all to him as he takes a step back to gather himself. 
He rubs his eyes before grabbing your arms gently and massaging them . He leans down to look you in your eyes before asking “Ma, did you take something before I came to pick you up? You alright? Cause what you saying don’t make no sense at all... Your pupils don't look dilated though.” 
“I know how this must sound. Batshit crazy. I know it sounds crazy to me too. I’m still trying to figure out if I’m losing my own damn mind. I don’t know how or why. I just know that you came back to me.” you say to him and he shakes his head. 
“Erik. You’re talking about your ex boyfriend...The one that passed... . Alright, I’m going to take you home now... I still don’t understand what’s going on here and I’ve had about all I can take of trying to understand what’s going on here.” N’Jadaka says quietly to you before going around and opening your car door. 
The drive was silent as you picked at your nails and let the soft r&b roll over the tension between the two of you. 
Your own thoughts were going in about a billion different directions again. It didn’t feel right to just sit on all of that and not say anything at all. As ripped from a science fiction film as it sounded at least he knows. 
He was never one to think quietly because you could practically read his thoughts with the changing of expressions across his face.
The relief of seeing your building washed over you as he offered to walk you to your door. 
It was bittersweet because there was still so much of him in this different version of him. Even when he was upset with you or livid with whatever ghost that was haunting him back then,  he still showed nothing but tenderness to you.
You nod and give him a small smile before following him up the stairs , to your elevator, and finally your door. 
“I know that this is a lot. I mean who in their right mind would be able to process all of that.I wish there was any other way to say it... But thank you, I had a really nice time.” your soft words snap him out of staring at your face as if he was trying to piece it all together.
He knew deep down that there was something about you and what happened that weekend while dreaming in colours and other worlds but he couldn’t wrap his head around all of this happening in real life.  
You lean up to kiss his cheek and he grabs your shoulders softly. “With all due respect. You seem like a lovely person and a good woman, but I just - this all a lil too weird for me and I don’t think it’s a good idea that we continue seeing each other.” 
He kisses your hand and leaves with one look over your shoulder as you call out “Meet me at our spot. If you are still anywhere in there. You’ll know what I mean.”
“What the hell happened ? I didn’t expect you back until tomorrow morning?” Iri says as she settles on the other side of the sofa and patted the spot next to her as you kick off the sandals and lay your head on her lap with tears already prickling your eyes. 
“Oh you didn’t? Please don’t tell me you told him about the soulmate reincarnation thing? Sweets, you probably scared the hell out of that man. We needed you to keep that waaay down in the vault.” Tiki adds as she pops the cork off the bottle of wine in her hand and pauses the movie playing on the screen in the background. 
“Here’s what we’re gonna do . You’re gonna text him and tell him that you had just gotten your wisdom teeth removed earlier today and the meds had you unexpectedly zooted as fuck. “ Iri suggests and you chuckle softly.
---
Meanwhile at N’Jadaka’s house he was already being pestered by Lina and Penn for some type of details about what happened during the date. Orleans was already in the kitchen cooking and ear hustling but went back to his conversation on the phone with Big Mike when he realized there wasn’t any tea. 
“I don’t feel good. I’m finna go lay down. I’ll talk to y’all in the morning”. He says simply to them before trudging his way to his part of the house.
They had been friends since college and just got used to the idea of living together as they did in the dorms so they made it work after graduation. 
It helped them save money for when they finally separated and all of their schedules kept them busy so they didn't have time to get sick of each other. They also knew him well enough to know when something was bothering him and to leave him alone when he gets this moody.
"What the fuck?" He whispered under his breath 
"What the fuck was all that?" He continues talking to himself as he strips and walks past the bathroom mirror to the shower. 
He stops when something catches his eye. He sees a birthmark on his chest that almost resembles the shape of claw marks. He lets his fingers linger over the mark for a second. Thoughts of a panther mask clouded his memories for a moment before he shook his head and entered the shower. 
---
A few hours later of talking through it with your girls about possibly seeing a therapist about all that's going on and you were ready for bed. 
It didn't take long to drift off, you were ready to put the whole thing behind you. 
The familiar setting of purples , pinks, and hues of blue came into focus and you looked around letting the butterflies land on you again.
 You walk through the flowers and find Erik sitting by a stream of water weaving some of the flowers together. 
"What the hell, E?" You ask as you run over to him and wrap your arms around his neck
He turns to you and smiles big , his dimples on full display before shrugging. 
"It ain't perfect but it's the best I could do. They said it's like a do-over or something like that. I get a second chance but as a result of the way I did things the first time it's a lil different. Like when you restore a computer and it lose all it's files and shit. I get a new life but I'm still kinda stuck. I kinda like it though. I don't remember all the other shit when I'm awake. It really is like starting over. Shits crazy to explain when you think about it. But for you , you already know. I'd find you in this life and the next and the one after that. I don’t think I’mma ever fully remember what happened with all of that when i’m awake. I’m cool with it. It ain’t something I’m tryna remember." He says tipping your chin up to look at you and kissing you softly 
"I know. At least I get to hold you in the real world. It's just different. But guess what I saw today? I seen that bench that you and me signed all them years back. It's still there." You say to him and he places the lil flower bracelet around your wrist as y'all sit and talk for the rest of the night.
By the time you wake up with the aroma of breakfast wavering throughout the loft you feel a little better about the whole situation with Erik, not Erik. 
You opened your phone and sent him an I'm sorry gif with a few extra words inspired by Tina's wisdom tooth lie. 
 After easing into the kitchen and standing in the doorway you see the two lovebirds dancing around the kitchen singing to each other and laying food on the plates. 
"Morning lil sleepy head. Don't forget that I'll still be coming down to the center with you today for the seminar. You hungry?" Iris asks as she places the plate in your hands with a kiss to the top of the head. 
"Of course. There's a young girl, Sophie there that I really think would love to talk to you. She's just starting her transition. And her parents are wonderful but they don't really have much money. She hasn't really had the chance to get more “feminine” presenting clothes and she likes makeup.  " You say and she nods catching your drift.
"Well it'd brighten anybody's day seeing a beautiful successful trans woman like myself honey. But let's lift her spirits even more. I'm gonna bring some of the makeup I got from pr packages and some of the clothes from this collection. I really hope it helps." She answers and Tika just saunters over to her proclaiming her love for her. 
"Alright alright alright. I get it. I'm single as hell." You say laughing softly
---
Two weeks ticked by with radio silence on N'Jadaka's end. After the 4th day when he gave you the cold shoulder at a coffee shop, you decided to stop trying.
Maybe it wasn't fate and maybe you were just believing what you wanted to believe. 
You reason with yourself as you walked around the loft making notes about the new housing project you were working on. 
Finally having the house to yourself with the lovebirds gone for the day on a little adventure. You got to work budgeting and calling different areas to rent out apartments to you for women and lgbtq+ with housing insecurities. 
Your ramblings and thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door , thinking that Iri or Tika left something behind. 
"I told you to take your sunscre- Daka?" You question as he stands in front of you
You cross your arms and furrow your brows while waiting for an answer from him.
He stands for a moment like he’s trying to gather all of his thoughts together in a way that makes sense to both of you. 
"What're you doing here?" You ask putting your hand on your hip. 
He drops his shoulders and lets out a soft sigh before looking at you.
"I didn't wanna believe it. What you said that night cause like how the fuck does something like that happen? I’mma be honest.  I wanted to just believe that you were a lil off and leave it at that but something keeps telling me that you right. I can't remember shit before college and all I wanted to do was be with you. From the moment I met you in the store. I was like, this is it. This is what's missing. A piece to a puzzle that's all jumbled up." He admits and you nod slowly before letting him in. 
You walk around the kitchen getting a cup of tea for yourself and sitting a cup of coffee down on the counter for him.
“Don’t worry it’s black, I know you dont like it sweet.”
"You know I didn't exactly expect my fiancee that I buried months before to show up at a damn supermarket of all places. This isn't some movie or fanfiction. These kind of things don't happen in real life. Daka you, you had claw marks all over you. The last time I laid eyes on you. And now you're here in front of me. I thought that I was losing my mind." You say and he starts to unbutton his shirt.
"These." He says peeling his shirt off and showing you the birthmarks on his chest and shoulder.
You trace your fingers over it before leaning your head on his shoulder. 
"I asked my parents about my childhood and when I passed by my old neighborhood a few days ago andI remembered some things. I remember what happened to my other parents, in pieces. Shit’s brutal." He says dropping his gaze
"It's okay." You whisper to him and wrap your arms around him. You rocked him for a moment letting him let all of those feelings wash over him. 
He embraced you for a moment before kissing you tenderly. You tug at his bottom lip before deepening the kiss when he press you against the counter. 
"We'll figure it out... Something telling me I'd be a fuckin fool to lose you again." He says quietly against yours lips. 
"Are you gonna make love to me or are you going to keep looking at me like that?" You ask as he studies your whole face like he's looking at art. 
"A memory. It's you. We stood right here and I kissed you the same way. You were saying something like "you bring yourself home to me"." He says and you nod frantically, holding him closer to you.
"I did. It was right before you left." You admit and he nods before lifting you up onto the counter and kissing you heatedly this time. He kisses down to your breasts before looking up at permission from you to unhook your bra. 
Always a man that knows what he's doing. He takes kisses around your breasts and nipples. He takes his time to lick and caress you until he works his way down.
You shake your head yes before moving to slide off your panties but his kisses and his mouth is already beating you to it as he kisses down to your thigh.
He slides your panties off with his teeth and tosses them over his shoulder. 
You tilt your head back as you feel him wasting no time massaging over your clit and working you over with his fingers, curling them and stroking you gently. 
Your soft moans fill the room when he hooks your leg over his shoulder and begins to suckle your clit softly , swirling his tongue over it. 
"Tika will kil- Ooh god. How does your tongue feel like it's vibrating?" You ask and he only chuckles and grips onto your cheeks to bring you closer to him.
He was feasting on and devouring you like he was going to lose again and you could grind your hips down against his tongue and moan his name sweetly.
He didn't stop his tongue or fingers working in you until your legs are shaking and you're gripping at his head. 
"You have- fuck. I'm a squir-" you moan his name brokenly while trying to get out your words and lean back for a moment licking his lips before realizing what you're trying to say.
"Hold that for me. I wanna come with you." He says to you and you pout and protest as he removes his fingers. He picks you up off the counter and carries you bridal style asking you which room is yours.
"Left , left." You giggle into his shoulder as he helps you slide your dress off and you unbutton his jeans for him. 
You capture him in a kiss for a moment feeling his soft plump lips against yours again for the first time in what feels like forever. 
"It's been a long time since I've done all of this. . . Gentle." You say and he runs a calloused finger over your cheek moving a curl away from your face as he looks at you. 
He gets a quick flash of a memory of you and him in bed. You wore a smile on your face before telling him "happy anniversary".
He trailed his fingers down your body remembering almost every scar , every moment. 
When Erik got to a scar at your side. He chuckled, unlocking a memory of you two running from the neighborhood rottweiler , Smokey. 
That old ass dog hated you and he hoisted you over the fence first after being out late one night in high school. The gate had caught your side when you jumped. 
Erik felt so bad he brought you food from anywhere you wanted everyday from to school for a month. 
He leans down to place open mouthed kisses to it. 
He traced over your thighs to the cellulite and stretch marks remembering when you first got them. 
He was moving homes at the time and he wasn't ready to be further away from you yet.  You two just sat for hours at the park in the grass, talking. 
" You know white men behind all of that anyways. They want y'all to feel like you gotta look the same way. That's how they make them billions. My mama had 'em . Yo mama , and generations back. And it ain't ever stop them from being the women they are. Besides if any dirtneck nigga ever try you , just tell me. Imma handle it." He would say as you sat with your head on his lap, staring at the sun setting, knowing good and well your grandparents were gonna ground you for being late when you get home. 
They never did though cause you were with Erik they knew you were gonna be alright. 
"Nothing to worry about. I… I've never done any of that stuff before…Have you?" you question hesitantly as you stare off. 
"Tisha. From Ms. Wilkes class. We was coming from the kick back-" 
"Uh uh . That's your business , you ain't gotta tell me all of that." You say slightly upset at the fact that Tisha of all people was his first. 
----
"I got you." He says kissing your forehead then your nose before hooking your leg over his hip and easing into you slowly while his lips are still on yours. His eyes never left yours as he cupped your face sweetly like he didn't want to lose you again. 
In this moment he gets a glimpse of prom night and how things changed between the both of you forever. 
He wraps his hands around your waist. One of his hands splayed across your belly. 
He remembers the pregnancy scare you both had afterwards with him holding your hand and telling you no matter what happens he wanna be there for both of you.
Luckily, nothing came of it but you were definitely closer because of it.
You let out an open mouthed gasp at the feeling of being so full of him after so long. 
You rest your hands on his neck and shoulder and he bottoms out fully settling into you as he moves his arms next to  balance himself. 
You close your eyes as he begins to stroke into you trying to set a rhythm for you as his praises for you fall from his lips. 
He kisses his way down your neck licking the marks that are already starting to form there. 
"My lil baby." He mutters out after licking a freshly formed hickey forming on top of your breasts. 
You open your eyes slowly , looking at him and the way he's looking at you . 
"It's been way too long since I've heard that from you. You're remembering?" You ask quietly as you let out a soft moan.
N'Jadaka's muscles flex and tighten as he picks up his pace. His abs clenched as he  pulls out almost completely and filled you at a different angle.
 The sounds of your moans filling the room with every stride and stroke of his hips,  it seems like you're closer to floating in space. The man was fucking you like his life depended on it and at this point all you could do is wrap your arms around him again to comfort you as he shutters and rolls his hips deeper into you. Your walls tighten around him as you relish in the feeling of him. 
"Fuck. I remember all of it." He says half chuckling at the way it's coming to him and half nearly in tears cause he really missed being with you. 
"I also remember that this is your favourite position cause you like to see my face." He teases before leaning down to kiss you again with them plump ass lips.
"E?" You ask , grabbing his face with trembling hands.
"Baby?" You ask again 
He moves his hands from your waist and places your hands in his. Then moving them above your head as he flashes in between making love to you for the last time and now.
You roll over with him and place your hands on your chest riding him slowly getting the rhythm as he strokes into you from below. 
He laughs softly when he realizes what you're doing. 
"Are you spelling my fucking name , baby?" He asks and you tell him that you can spell both.
You let out a whimper when he brushes your spot and let him take over as he runs his hands over your thighs to your butt and over your back as he strokes into you. 
He plants his feet on the bed and work your hips in rhythm with him. 
It didn't take long for you to orgasm with a loud shriek of his name . You had forgotten how he gets when he's close as his hands on gripping all over your thighs and your back. You were already feeling sensitive with your second orgasm coming through and this man felt like he was trying to put it in your belly. 
He rolls you onto your side giving it to you deeply. 
With a loud hiss and panting from him he cums , holding you in his arms.
"I don't think it has felt like that since our birthday last year." He says into your ear as he pulls you closer into his arms. 
He engulfs you fully in his embrace and presses a kiss to the side of your head. 
You laugh softly and roll over to face him , resting your forehead against his.
"I remember. You took me to Paris. I had never been and at the time I was obsessed with everything Parisian. We fucked on the balcony and somehow I ended up popping the straps to my favorite dress. You still owe me by the way." You tease and he shakes his head laughing. 
"I think we ended up saving they marriage from across the way though. They was arguing the whole time. Then they gon watch us like we ain't see them." Erik says laughing as he squeezes your thigh playfully.
"I know they was trying some things." You joke 
"I missed you so much. You don't even understand." You admit with a somehow saddened and relieved expression. 
"I know.  I want to start over this time. All of that Erik Killmonger shit is over with. I wanna keep the name N'Jadaka and just start over. All of that was too heavy on me to carry. I wanna let it all go. I wanna do it right with you." He explains 
"Good because if you put me through that again. Wakanda will be the least of your damn worries." You say to him and he nods giving you his word, sealed with a kiss.
"It'll be alright. Everything happens for a reason. And I think that right now a bath needs to happen and I'm gonna need you to do that thing again that you did in the kitchen cause I'm tryna figure out when you learned that-" 
At some point after the bubble bath/ shower combo you were both out like a light until Iri and Tika decide to come busting in like they usually do with little gifts and food for you. 
"Guess who's your fave- SHE GOT A WHOLEASS MAN IN HER BED" Iri announces to Tika before your pillow hits the door as she closes it. 
"Sorry about that. This is kinda our cuddle hour so they're used to just coming on in." You say sleepily and he just laughs it off while holding you closer. 
"It's all good. I remember that I ain't know them much before but when we did spend time with them, they were good people." He says, still trying to piece it together.  
----
You fell asleep more peacefully than you had in a long time. Now granted, good sex didn't fix the many layers of issues and mysticism surrounding everything.
But for now, you knew that you had him, you had your girls, family and your business. Everything felt alright again. 
Right up until the point of sleeping through the first alarm to meet the property owners.
"Bae. Bae your phone going off." N'Jadaka whispers in the dark room , voice still riddled with sleep and grogginess. 
"Shit. Shit. I'm gonna be so late." You call out , quickly jumping out of bed and stumbling around the room. 
It takes you about 25 minutes to speed through getting dressed in your best skirt suit. 
N'Jadaka sits on the end of the bed putting on his shoes and watching you shuffle around. 
He had offered to drive you there and stay with you and check out the property with you. 
He slows you down by grabbing you by your arms gently and placing a kiss to your lips. 
"Good morning, handsome. Let's go" 
You walk through the living room with Iri and Tika already posted up in the kitchen placing two breakfast burritos in a container to grab and go. 
You grab your things from the counter all while thanking them and jetting towards the door.
"Good luck pooh!" Tika calls after you. 
"Byyyyeeee Dakaaaa" they call out after him
---
"Here it is . These are the apartments. I know they don't look like much now from the outside. But from the pictures it looks great. And they'll be safe and comfortable here-" you babble on to N'Jadaka while you both stand outside of the building where Erik grew up , until you notice two women walking to  a car that clearly wasn't from this area. 
You notice Shuri and your breath hitches in your throat. 
Frozen in your anxiety, the seconds ticked by and it was too late to leave. She looked you dead in the eye and then at N'Jadaka like she had seen a ghost.
She gasped and Nakia followed the eyes before back into the car. 
"SHURI WAIT - PLEASE" you yell out to them but the car was already speeding  away. 
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