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mlmxreader · 1 year

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The Valley of Death | John Price x trans!m!reader

anonymous asked: So the first one I wanted to request for john price x pakitani!ftm reader where they are married and reader is from pakistan army and reader ignores one of john's orders even though they still complete the mission john wouldn't talk to the reader with the prompt "You disobeyed direct orders!" and "C'mon, talk to me"

Hope this is okay :)

-🦝

summary: Price is far from happy when you disobey an order, but at least you have a good reason why you did it.

tws: war, guns and gun violence, swearing, bombings, arguing

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Bullets had your name on them as they came crashing through the air, a vicious melody tearing through your ears as you ducked behind a rock for cover, hoping that it would last long enough; your orders, from your own damn husband, were to fall back and to retreat, but you would do no such thing. You couldn't.

Behind you, tanks and mortars were shaking the ground, hunting and preying on both man and machine; to your left, planes kicked up a storm made of fire as they dropped bombs that left the land cold and scarred; to your right, grenades battered the land harshly. In front of you, the jaws of death waited with an open mouthed and toothy grin.

You could only think that this must have been how it felt to be a soldier at Doiran in nineteen seventeen. Falling back and retreating was not an option.

In that moment, it truly was kill or be killed. A lost battalion belonging to the ranks of Pakistan, surrounded by death at every turn with no escape; how could you be expected to obey the order to fall back and retreat, when just by doing so, you would cause your men to die?

To fall back and retreat was to walk straight into the depths of death, and know that you wouldn't return. Chaos and turmoil at the front, the men beside you scared and shaking as they kept close; it wasn't every man for himself, you were friends, you were brothers.

Every man for himself was a callous and cruel belief. Captain Price would be fucking livid when he found out that you disobeyed his orders, no doubt in your mind that he would chew you out for it when you got home, but you had no other choice.

You could not obey orders that put your men at risk. You didn't care if they came from your own husband, you couldn't obey orders that would end up with your men as meat for the slaughter.

"Sir!" One of them barked, eyes filled with worry as they choked on their own fear. "What the fuck do we do?!"

You put your hand on his shoulder to calm him down slightly, to let him know that you were there as you sighed. "We're gonna have to wait for evac, Corporal - hopefully the one four one will come back for us."

Corporal Thapa swallowed thickly, shaking his head as he pressed himself into your side; you could feel him trembling against you as you slowly put your arm around him, keeping him close. It was the best thing that you could do. Lambs for the slaughter. You couldn't stomach the thought.

These were your men, these were the men you had trained with and had been beside since your days as a private in the Pakistan army; these were the men who, when you told them that you were trans, welcomed you with open arms like they had done a thousand times before. These were your men, your brothers.

You had to protect them as best you could. You had to convince them that help was on the way and that there would be no issues, you just had to be strong and wait for them to get you all. You had to guide them.

The lost battalion, Pakistan's pride, and you were trapped between four great gnashing jaws of death that barked your names and demanded you draw in closer; you held Thapa a little closer, begging and pleasing with Allah that someone would come soon, that someone would take you all home.

Allah must have been listening, as the evac team didn't waste any time getting to you and dragging you all back to base; you learned from them that the mission had been successful, and also that Captain Price was far from pleased with your actions. The actions that had saved your men. But while your boys were sent off to be checked over by doctors and nurses, you were escorted to Price's office.

The second you walked in, you knew he was absolutely furious with you; his hands firmly planted on the desk, fingers splayed and shoulders tight with tension, jaw clenched and his eyes glaring holes into your very soul as he hunched over slightly. The door closed, and suddenly you wished that you were on the battlefield, instead.

He didn't talk to you, didn't say anything except glare at you, pinning you to the spot with those pretty blue eyes; he really was absolutely furious.

"John," you said slowly, standing on the opposite side of the desk and putting your hands between his. The desk was cool to the touch. "Don't do this."

He said nothing. You had seen him angry before, seen him throw chairs and kick doors, seen him shout and bawl until his voice went hoarse and his eyes welled with tears; you had seen him slam things and throw them around, kicking and yelling. But this wasn't angry. This was the type of rage that made even you think twice about poking the bear with a sharp stick.

You swallowed thickly, avoiding his gaze as you cleared your throat. "John."

He still said nothing, breath harsh yet quiet. Staring you down. You had never seen him lose his temper like that before, never seen him so filled with rage and animosity that he could not speak; but you were going to stand your ground. You did what was best for your men, even if that had meant disobeying his orders.

"C'mon, talk to me," you told him. "Please?"

"You disobeyed," he growled, hardly audible. "You fucking disobeyed me."

You took a step back, shaking your head. "I did what was best for my men."

Price scoffed, swiping a hand down his face. "You disobeyed direct orders! Orders I fucking gave you!"

His voice was booming, a harsh crack of thunder that made you flinch slightly; things like that always did make you flinch when you were fresh from the battlefield, and you hated yourself for it. Price didn't move.

"Disobeyed you?" You took another step back. "Those were my men out there!"

"I told you to fall back!" He argued. "I fucking told you, point blank, to retreat!"

"If we'd have retreated, my men would be dead!" You spat.

"And if we hadn't gotten the evac teams out there in time, you'd be fucking dead!" He slammed his hand on the table. "Or did you forget that?! Did you forget that you're my husband?! That I fucking care about you?! Did you not think, for a fucking second, that that order was to save you?!"

"I don't need saving!" You got in his face, hands planted firmly on the desk once more as you growled at him. "I do not need you to save me."

Price clenched his jaw, speaking through gritted teeth, "if you break, I fix you. You're my fucking husband - I should be looking after you."

"I don't need it," you hissed. "I've been in the Pakistan army for years, John, don't you dare try to fucking pull that saving nonsense on me now."

"Fucking come here," he grabbed you, roughly coaxing you onto the desk before he stood between your legs, his knuckles white as he gripped your shirt tightly and pulled you in for a harsh kiss.

You kissed back, lacing one hand in his hair, the other on his shoulder as you eagerly allowed him to take control; it was messy and sloppy, uncalculated and filled with desperation, but you wouldn't have had it any other way. He bit at your bottom lip when he broke the kiss.

"Don't do that again," Price warned lowly. "Don't you ever disobey me again."

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tasmiq · 24 days

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Jumu'ah Sohbet: 5 April 2024

Alhamdulillah for another productive Ramadan week in the lead up to Laylatul Qadr (The Night of Power / Decree), where we continued to contemplate on and practice taqwa (self-vigilance).

#1. Anne spoke about Laylatul Qadr (The Night of Power). It involves the Angels where Prophet Muhammad PBUH saw them in person on Laylatul Mi'raj (His blessed night journey and his ascension into Heaven). We may even be blessed to see them as our helpers because they witnessed our creation, and they help us to maintain Allah's order.

Thereafter, Anne said that she hoped that our taqwa (self-vigilance) practices were coming into effect when we were feeling disconnected, angry, or forgetful of turning to Allah. We ought to spend the time in Ramadan with Allah regardless of what is happening around us! The reasons we get angry could be because of injustice or feelings of control, entitlement, or fear. Surely, these are all reasons for us to turn to Allah. Ramadan is the ideal opportunity for detoxing our bad habits.

Ramadan gives us an extra incentive to practice taqwa, which is the actions that Allah is happy with. When we are contemplating on taqwa and we're watching our actions, we keep Allah's pleasure in mind! Many of us reported that this is the most spiritually connected that we've felt, with gratitude for Anne's spiritual leadership acumen.

#2. Fellow murids (followers), Sister Hayat and Wakil Rosieçim reflected that when they were running out of sabr (patience), they practiced taqwa, which moved them into love. One actually feels taqwa in one's body, muscles, and emotions. You have to be involved physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually with love. Similarly, as reflected by Sister Fatima, there is a place where Love is loving itself! It's Allah's love where humans are able to bring it back and reflect Him, insha'Allah.

Khalifa Rubina reflected that because we are studying taqwa so deeply, there were definite changes within our bodies. We perceive the change in our actions, where we experience peace and calmness. Anne astutely picked up another point, where we are experiencing Allah within ourselves. Our brains help us to understand, but our whole beings bring us to live with Allah. That is why it is said that Sufism should be learned by living our individual experiences of Allah.

#3. Our brother Daud referred to observing taqwa through difficulty. Anne postulated that there were two ways to deal with the difficulty. One way could be to surrender to Allah by accepting and witnessing what is happening in the subsequent moments. We pray for it while turning to Allah and saying, "What would You like to show me through this?" This is the moment-by-moment unfolding of my post-accident life which I have entiled my "Accidental Epiphany"! The other futile way is blocking and ignoring it.

Anne reminded us about the legacy of Hazrat Musa AS and Hazrat Khidr AS. When things go wrong, we should be asking the "what" questions rather than the "why" questions. What does Allah want to show me here? Am I seeing what is really happening, or am I seeing the veil? Who will open the veil? Allah will, insha'Allah. It won't happen while we're blocked and turned away. It is through witnessing, acknowledging, and feeling through our human faculties. We are not robots that are locked and closed up. Instead, we open ourselves to Allah.

In conclusion, I am left with humbled gratitude for our Tariqa as a deep spiritual school of like-minded hearts, from myriad walks of life, that have mystically been brought together ...

Shukran Ya Allah (Divine gratitude)

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epelletea · 1 year

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Guardians of Twisted

A/n: A silly little probably on-going thing I'll write for fun. Basically the Great Seven come back to life and have to be mentors for their respective Dorms! Also funny haha of the title being based off of Guardians of The Galaxy Small Headcanon(s): Idia is very much related to Hades in this because why not and Hades is still kinda alive?? But not really?? I don't know how to explain it. Fairy Godmother is also alive?? Along with a few other characters.

This is obviously very non-canon and is my own little Au! Enjoy!!

♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡

Chapter One

♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡

There in the darkness, stood large and tall. The 7 great statues of Twisted Wonderland finest of Villains. The Tyrannical Queen of Hearts, the Nefarious Sorcerer Jafar, the Mischievous fae Maleficent, the Manipulative Sea Witch Ursula, the Prideful Lion Scar, the deadly beautiful Evil Queen and one the most feared gods Hades.

The statues began to shake and crumble. As if it were shedding a new shell. The first one to crumble away was Jafar’s statue. With a really loud groan and tight grip on his specter he pushes away any leftover rubble on him. “Oh great Allah, no matter how many times I do that I’m always going to get a crick in my neck.” He complains, holding the back of his neck and cracking it in a violent manner. “Ah. Much better.” He says out of relief. “You’ll get used to it.” Hades statue says as it engulfs in blue flames revealing Hades himself in his true form. “You only say that because you are used to this shit.” An irritated voice rings out. “Someone help me out of here. You! Big forehead! Pull my tentacle out.” Ursula shouts out. Her lower half was still completely covered in stone.

“You will refer to me as The Queen of Hearts!!” The red queen yells angrily as her statue turns red in anger. In a fit of rage it breaks off with the Red Queen hopping up and down in a tantrum. “If only I had my soldiers! I would've gotten off your head sooner!!” She yells waving her scepter in the air agressively. “Oh, could you please not start with her. Her yelling gives me a headache.” Scar whines covering his ears with his paws. He sits on his pillar lazily as he side-eyes to Maleficent’s statue. Her statue stood still and silent.

“Where the hell is she? Isn’t she the one who called this meeting?” The Evil Queen asks annoyed, flicking off any remaining dust on her. “Hey queenie.” Hades yells out. “What is it?” Queen asks annoyed, sparing a glance towards the blue flamed god. Hades only smirks and points at his nose. The Evil Queen raises an eyebrow and looks down at her nose. She gasps out loud realizing it was crooked. She quickly fixes it, covering herself from everyone. “Ahem.” She coughs out, pretending nothing had happened. Hades starts to laugh out loud along with Jafar at the Queen’s nose.

“Hello!? Anyone!?? Octopus is still in stone over here!” Ursula shouts as she struggles against the stone.

Loud maniacal laughter rings out throughout the room. Maleficent’s statue begins to shake and crumble. As green lightning starts emitting from it along with the ground slowly rising in green flames. With a big explosion , her statue explodes with rubble flying out everywhere. “Hey! Watch it! Woah!” Ursula screams as rubble comes in contact with her breaking her fully out of the stone. “Rejoice my villainous friends!” Maleficent's voice yells out. She stood tall and proud with a mischievous smirk on her face. “Today is the day!” She steps out her stone pillar and walks over to the mirror with a fast pace.

The other villains quickly gather around her in confusion but curiosity. “Today is the day we can finally roam around the world once more!” She lightly taps her scepter on the mirror. The mirror reflection begins to ripple as it starts to change. “What do you mean! Roam!?” Queen asks excitedly, grabbing onto Maleficent’s shoulder. Maleficent’s shoo’s her hands away from her in disgust. “Don’t touch me. What did I say about that?” She quickly shakes her head and puts her attention back on the mirror. “For the week, there is going to be a blue moon. With this blue moon we are able to make a pathway towards the real world.” She explains. “Only for a week? How disappointing.” Jafar sighs. “Be grateful! We could still be stuck in that stone for another thousand years!” Maleficent with swift arms hits Jafar on the head. “Now my friends! The portal is ready!” She yells out. The mirror begins to ripple aggressively. “Onwards to freedom!” She yells out.

One by one, each villain walks through the mirror laughing maniacally leaving Maleficent to be the last one. She bangs her scepter on the ground. Green fog is emitting around her form. Green lightning shooting of it and with a loud roar. A giant black dragon appears from the fog as she flies immediately through the mirror.

Colors of red, blue, green etc are swirling around. As a giant black castle begins to appear in view. The view suddenly zooms in quickly into the castle straight into a hall of mirrors. There was a crowd of people standing around, talking amongst themselves as if they were waiting for something.

“Ladies and gentlemen, get ready!” Yells a feminine voice. She was dressed in white and purple fabric. Next to her were three ladies. The first one was dressed in red, the middle was dressed in blue and the last one was dressed in green. “Wands up!” The one in white yells. A loud roar emits from one of the mirrors. “Now!” She yells out.

Colors streams come out of their wands as Maleficent dragon form flies out from the mirror. The color streams quickly hit her body making her roar out in pain struggling to keep flapping her wings. Struggling she slowly falls to the ground, her dragon form retreating away, soon revealing just herself. “Quickly grab it from her!” One of the women yells out. A man dressed in black and purple clothing with a crow mask grabs Maleficent scepter making her immediately react to grab it back but only fails by falling to the ground. “Remember kids. Stealing is bad, don't do what I do.” The man says handing the scepter over to the woman dressed in white. Maleficent weakly looks up around her to see her companions that were also weakened on the ground around her except for Hades he was sitting there bald and wet. She shoots a glare towards the three women that stood next to her.

“Flora… Fauna… Merryweather. What a delight to see you three.” She says sarcastically. “I knew it was too good to be true!” Ursula shouts out angrily. “And those little fairies took my scepter too!” Jafar groans, picking himself up from the floor. “Now this is just plain shameful. Water doesn’t weaken me but still I’m bald now!” Hades complained touching his head where his fire hair used to be. “Now could I please get your attention.” The woman in white yells out. “Now as you can see we have weakened you all. We were well aware of you all coming down so we took extra precaution to this. Let me introduce myself! You must’ve heard of me. I am Fairy Godmother.” The woman announces making her way to stand in front of the villainy bunch. “The bipididi bopidi boo bitch? What are you going to do to turn a carrot into a carriage?” Ursula laughs out. The other villains join in with her laughing. Fairy godmother rolls her eyes and puts a hand out to help up Maleficent. Maleficent only scoffs at her pushing herself off the ground without her help. “So. Why are we here then? You could’ve just locked us back up.” She questions dusting herself off.

“Well one, it was a pumpkin not a carrot. Two, if you haven’t noticed already.” Fairy Godmother moves herself out of the way and gestures towards a group of students that stood in the background wide eyed in shock by what was happening in front of them. “I thought this would be a nice educational moment for the students here at Night Ravens College to get to know the people they are learning about. Isn’t that right Mr. Crowley.” Fairy Godmother ensures looking over to the Crow masked man. “I think that’s an absolutely perfect idea. Here we have our Dorm Leaders with their Co leaders. Let me introduce them to you all.” Crowley says, smiling, walking over to the first group.

“Y-your royal highness! I am Riddle Rosehearts!” The small red hair boy blurts out nervously quickly getting on one knee bowing down to the Queen of Hearts. The other two men behind him quickly follow him doing the same. “These are my Co-Leaders: Trey Clover and Cater Diamond.” He introduces. “Your highness. It is an honor.” Trey says, bowing his head. “I am resisting the urge to take my phone out right now.” Cater whispers. “Don’t.” Both Trey and Riddle whisper out in response to him. “Hm. They aren’t my royal guards but they will do for now. All of you sit up straight!” The Red Queen orders out. All three of the boys quickly almost stumbled over each other and stood up straight. “Looks like you already have that under control. Onto the next one.” Crowley walks over to the next group.

“This is Leona Kingscholar and his Co-Leader Ruggie Bucchi!” Crowley announces. Scar yawns and looks up at the two feline-like people. “I couldn’t care less who you are as long as you don’t bother me if I am sleeping then we are good.” He says lazily, rolling his eyes. “Same could be said for me.” Leona replies. Scar side eyes the small hyena standing next to him speechless staring at him. He snaps his paw at him forcing Ruggie out of his trance. “Take a picture and maybe it will last even longer.” He chuckles out maliciously.

Crowley moves on towards the next group. “Ah. This is Azul Ashengrotto and these two over here are Floyd and Jade Leech.” He introduces. Before Azul could say anything Ursula does a loud ‘Hm’ as she stares at the twins behind him. “You two remind me of my little babies. They were named Flim and Flam. Oh, I loved them so much until they died.” Ursula states in a slightly sad manner but covers it up with a cough. “Miss Ursula. You have been my biggest inspiration and role model.” Azul says cutting in. “Hm. You have taste. Not everyone looks up to a great and powerful Sea Witch like me.” Ursula boasts confidently, pushing her hair back.

Shuffling over to the next group, Crowley raises his hand up to introduce, he is quickly shoved to the side by a man wearing a Robin Hood-like hat. The man gets on his knee taking the Evil Queen’s hand giving her a small peck on the back of her hand. “Mademoiselle, it is an honor to meet you right now.” The man says. “Hmph. Unhand me.” The Evil Queen says disgusted rudely, taking her hand away from him. “Apologies Madame. I am Rook Hunt.” Rook moves back, bowing his head at her. “I apologize for his sudden behavior, your highness. I am Vil Schoenheit.” Vil says glaring at Rook for his reckless behavior. The Evil Queen looks Vil up and down. Examining his looks and attire. “Wow. You are quite the beauty. But not as beautiful as me obviously.” She ‘compliments’. “That coming from you is enough to satisfy me.” Vil responds with a slightly pained smile.

With that, Crowley moves along to another group. “This is Kalim Al Asim and Jamil Viper.” He introduces. Before Kalim could give Jafar a peppy ‘Hello’ Jafar scoffs at him and shoos him away. “Ugh, you remind me of the Sultan and it only gives me nothing but anger while looking at you. But you, however…” Jafar shoves Kalim to the side leaving him standing there sad and confused. Jafar looks deeply into Jamil’s eyes causing Jamil to become slightly unsettled by the sudden action. “You.. have potential. I can practically see right through you. You can do many things…” Jafar states. “Jamil what does he mean by th-“ Kalim mouth gets covered up quickly by Jamil. “Don’t worry and don’t question it.” Jamil replies quickly. Jafar only laughs out loudly at the sudden reaction. “This is going to be fun.” He chuckles deeply.

Crowley slowly walks away from the group and signals to the Fairies to keep an eye on them. He clears his throat and stands next to well, not exactly a group.. It consists of a small kid with a tablet. “Ah. That Idia. Still refusing to come out of that hole of his.” Hades says annoyed. He crouched down to the small kid holding the tablet. “It would’ve been nice for my own grandkid to come by and see me.” He says speaking into the tablet, poking it. “It would’ve been even nicer if you stayed where you were and never came here.” A voice speaks out of it. “You gotta stop leaving your brother to do things for you and touch some grass for once would’ ya??” Hades insults, his lips turning into a scowl. “I try to take him out of his room sometimes.” The small child adds in. “I’m surprised he listens to you but good job Ortho.” Hades takes his hand and scuffles up the boy’s hair (if that’s physically possible).

Crowley stands on the side holding a hand to his heart. “I love Family Reunions.” He sniffles, wiping a tear from his eye. Last but not least, he finally stops towards the last group. Only one man stands there alone. “Now, isn’t this weird? Mr. Draconia, where is your Co-Dorm Leader?” Crowley questions, shocked. “He said he couldn’t make it but he will be at the dorm if you need him.” Malleus responds. “I’m quite shocked as well. He usually never leaves my side and wouldn’t let an opportunity like this go to waste.” He adds in. “I’ve heard all about you. You are supposed to be my next suppressor for the Thorn Fairy title.” Maleficent informs sluggishly , lifting herself off from the ground. “I’ve watched over you for a while. I must say. I’m quite thoroughly impressed with your abilities. But let’s make one thing clear.” She says staring deeply into Malleus' eyes, her eyes maliciously glowing green. “Until my time is left in this world. I will be taking my title back.” She says with a smirk. Malleus is quite surprised by the words but nonetheless goes back to his cool demeanor. He doesn’t respond to what Maleficent says, he only smiles and nods his head.

“Now that is out of the way. The Dorm and Co Dorm Leaders will lead you to their dorm and show you around. When it is time to dispatch, there will be a knight ready to escort you into the place you will be staying at.” Fairy Godmother says, waving her wand in a circle while small sparkle dust particles arise from it. “Bippity Boppity Boo!” She chants. The small sparkle particles lay towards the ground as knights in shining armor appear from it. “Bippity Boppity Bug off.” Ursula sneers , laughing at her joke while the rest of the Villainy crew laughs along with her. With a loud ‘Hmph’ from Fairy Grandmother she puts her wand away. “I hope these kids teach you some manners as well. I will be leaving you with Mr. Crowley. Please ring, if you need me! Oh and I’ll be taking these.” She says taking the scepters from Crowley and Fairies hands. “Come on ladies. We don’t wanna keep Mickey waiting… God knows what he is up to right now… Toodles!” With a small wave of her wand she and the other fairies leave.

“Well I hope we can all get along and have no troubles this week. Now let’s get you all situated with the school.” Crowley announces, and with that the Villainy Bunch had now suddenly became Mentors for a group of kids that practically idolizes them… who know what they will be in for this week either good or bad.

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childofthenight2035 · 11 months

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colours of the shadows

june 9: i'm sorry, jaan-e-mann

i let out the breath i was holding when he turns to inspect my motorbike. the kajal around his eyes is far too distracting. i tear my eyes away from the muscles in his forearms and glance outside the shop.

it's only the usual midday hustle and bustle. no one looks twice at the mechanic's shop save for the few men talking to his abba outside. religious zealots. they catch me looking at them, and their eyes narrow. i grew up around these men, and now they don't like that i still hang around. my baba says it's because the british are threatening to split the country; ignore them.

they dislike that i am a hindu. i could give them another reason. a better one.

i watch him tighten a screw here, tug something there, then straighten up. there's nothing wrong with the bike, and he knows it. there's a sly smirk lifting the corner of his mouth as he looks at me up and down, with those huge eyes outlined in black. he tilts his head toward the house behind the shop. i push myself off the hood of the car i perched on and sidle past the door.

he'll join me in a minute.

it's only days later that everything falls apart.

he's asleep in my bed. risky, i know, but baba went out a while ago and i doubt he'll be back soon. i prop myself on my elbow. let my fingertips brush down the curve of his spine. i love this man, i think. i love him. i lean down to kiss his shoulder.

three things happen at once: there's a shout in the street, he wakes up, and baba throws the door open.

both of us jump to cover ourselves. our clothes are strewn on the floor. i can tell baba didn't come to yell at us, but his face changes, expression flitting from fear to bafflement, to disgust, to rage.

what the hell is this? he bellows. he doesn't think twice before seizing my arm and slapping me clean across the face.

baba, i can explain, i try, but he won't hear of it.

you come with me, he says firmly, no room for argument. we need to leave, now.

leave? my voice betrays my confusion. baba shakes me by the shoulders, eyes more dangerous than i'd ever seen.

are you an idiot? he asks harshly. have you been so blinded by this, this boy, and here he shoots my love a look, that you can't see what's going on around you? they're all rioting! we need to leave at once.

it all clicks into place.

no, i whisper, reaching for him. he's frozen, ashamed, terrified. i can't leave, i can't leave you! you'll–will you come with me?

it's a helpless plea that my baba immediately tosses away. he has his mother and sister to look after. how can he come with you, fool?

one look into his sorrowful eyes and i know it's the truth. i go limp. his hand slips out of mine. baba drags me out of the house.

the journey to the railways are a blur. i can hear my baba damning him as we squeeze onto the train. disgusting boy, he mutters, ruining my son! i hope his allah never gives him a moment's peace–

don't, i think, don't curse him. i love him.

there's a voice in my head that tells me it wouldn't have worked anyway. tells me that even if we weren't two men, life would have still found a way to keep us apart. our gods would have, their devotees would have. the governments of the different nations we are to be part of, would have.

i'm sorry, jaan-e-mann. a tear rolls down my cheek. i close my eyes, and try not to imagine his voice calling my name.

— we were doomed from the start, weren't we?

inspired by this rambheem post about an rrr x kalank au.

'pride 2023: colours of the shadows' pinned.

#pride #pride month #queer pride #aromantic pride #bisexual pride #gay pride #lesbian pride #angst #rrr #rrr movie

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flowersofjannah · 1 month

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I want to share some thoughts..

I want to marry and have my husband provide for me financially and to stay home. On the other hand, there is a chance of divorce.. so if I don’t learn or become financially independent myself then what will happen once something happens. 10 years down the line we may divorce or he will be gone from the world. ☹️

Assalamu 'alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh sister,

I understand your concern, and I strongly believe this is a reason why today it is so important for every woman to get a degree, a bachelor's degree in the least! In the older days people were very community based, so a woman had a higher chance of people (brother, SIL, etc) willing to take care of her or share space with her than today. It's all about personal space and independence these days, which isn't all bad, it can be good but to an extent.

So this would be you tying your camel: if a hard time like you mentioned comes, you have something to fall back on and show employers you are educated. Yes, without experience it would be likely difficult to find a job, but it would be even more difficult to find one without experience or education.

So again, this step would be you tying your camel, and the next step would be you relying on Allah SWT. Allah gives hope for better things to come with these situations along with protections for the women, such as mahr, inheritence, child support, alimony etc.:

"O Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم)! When you divorce women, divorce them at their ‘Iddah (prescribed periods) and count (accurately) their ‘Iddah (periods1). And fear Allâh your Lord (O Muslims). And turn them not out of their (husband’s) homes nor shall they (themselves) leave, except in case they are guilty of some open illegal sexual intercourse. And those are the set limits of Allâh. And whosoever transgresses the set limits of Allâh, then indeed he has wronged himself. You (the one who divorces his wife) know not it may be that Allâh will afterward bring some new thing to pass (i.e. to return her back to you if that was the first or second divorce).

Then when they are about to attain their term appointed, either take them back in a good manner or part with them in a good manner. And take as witness two just persons from among you (Muslims). And establish the testimony for Allâh. That will be an admonition given to him who believes in Allâh and the Last Day. And whosoever fears Allâh and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty).

And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allâh, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allâh will accomplish his purpose. Indeed Allâh has set a measure for all things." — Quran, 65:1-3

"The divorce is twice, after that, either you retain her on reasonable terms or release her with kindness. And it is not lawful for you (men) to take back (from your wives) any of your Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) which you have given them, except when both parties fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allâh (e.g. to deal with each other on a fair basis). Then if you fear that they would not be able to keep the limits ordained by Allâh, then there is no sin on either of them if she gives back (the Mahr or a part of it) for her Al-Khul‘ (divorce). These are the limits ordained by Allâh, so do not transgress them. And whoever transgresses the limits ordained by Allâh, then such are the Zâlimûn (wrong-doers)."

"The mothers shall give suck to their children for two whole years, (that is) for those (parents) who desire to complete the term of suckling, but the father of the child shall bear the cost of the mother’s food and clothing on a reasonable basis. No person shall have a burden laid on him greater than he can bear. No mother shall be treated unfairly on account of her child, nor father on account of his child. And on the (father’s) heir is incumbent the like of that (which was incumbent on the father). If they both decide on weaning, by mutual consent, and after due consultation, there is no sin on them. And if you decide on a foster suckling-mother for your children, there is no sin on you, provided you pay (the mother) what you agreed (to give her) on reasonable basis. And fear Allâh and know that Allâh is All-Seer of what you do."

I believe there is also a hadith or an ayah where it is said to the person passing away that they don't need to be worried for those they are leaving behind because Allah will take care of them. Even though I cannot find this, it is still a true statement. Our rizq is from Allah and in Him we put our trust.

lt was narrated from Abu Tameem that he heard `Umar bin al-Khattab (رضي الله عنه) say:

I heard the Prophet (ﷺ) say:

“If you truly put your trust in Allah, He would provide for you as He provides for the birds: they go out with empty stomachs and come back with full stomachs." — Musnad Ahmad, 370

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sisterssafespace · 9 months

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Assalamualaikum beautiful sisters 🤍

A couple of days ago I received a " heavy " long ask as she called it, and it was on my mind the whole time, I just felt so helpless..

Today, after some reflecting, and the help of a wonderful sister, I feel able to write some things up. So here we go, bismillah:

@ to the anon with the "uneasy" brother, and wbo asked me for advice, I am going to try and keep this short and straight to the point my dear because it will do you no good to go around the issue. I have three major points to stretch:

1) the reason why I felt so helpless and couldn't really come up with a piece of advice is because Allahuma barik laki you are already doing what I can only advise you of doing: finding refuge in Allah swt, in prayer and duaa, you are already doing that, and in shaa Allah relief will soon come because whomever fears Allah swt, Allah swt will create a way and will make a way for them out of their calamity. That is why I would say to just keep doing what you are already doing, keep turning to Allah swt and asking for His help because there is no other way, you may want to make a habit of tasbeeh or sending prayers upon Prophet Muhammad ﷺ at least x100 times a day, it has been known and narrated that people who make that their habit and send a lot of prayers upon him ﷺ in their day find miraculous results in a short time in shaa Allah. - Another thought crossed my mind within the same theme is the following: you did mention that you have found your way to Allah swt later in life, and that when you were younger you had your share of " rebellion" yourself, but now Alhamdullillah, you are upon the truth and you are making sure to be a good pious Muslim girl, and whenever I come across such stories it reminds me of this verse from surat al-ankabut: Do people think once they say, “We believe,” that they will be left without being put to the test? [Qur'an 2:29] - Now what if this is your test ? Sübhanallah, we are all being tested, all the time, and to each their own specific test, I think if you look at the situation you have at home as your current " test " then maybe your reaction to it and your attitude will change, maybe you will be more patient, less reactive, less emotional about even the subtle acts that now cause you frustration. Does that make sense? Because if we change our perspective on the situation, we systematically change the level of control we have over it and our attitude toward it as well. So we can eventually move from a " my brother is doing this or that to me and I can't deal with it anymore it is a very painful situation for me " mindset to a " Allah swt is testing me with my family, and as any test this too shall come to an end, I have to be patient and I have to be smart about it and try and find out the lesson behind it " you turn the narrative about you not about them, you put the power and the control in your hands and that's how you raise above the situation! Which brings me to my second point:

2) You don't have to react to everything even literally everything they do frustrates you or annoys you in a way. Look sweetie, the villain in your story is also a victim of generations of favoring and spoiling male children in the household, a victim of a patriarchal misogynistic society. They did not wake up and decide to be rude/mean/insensitive toward you. I am not defending anyone because at one point we are all responsible for our actions, Allah swt has given us a mind and a conscious for a reason, but what I am trying to say is this is a more complex situation that in looks like, rooted in lack of parental knowledge and education on how to bring up healthy responsible human beings.. Once you see the bigger picture, you are going to take things less personally, you are going to be able to distance yourself and put your walls up to actually protect yourself and your psyche.. And you see, you tried everything, to protest, to yell, to tell on them etc etc, nothing is working in your favor, on the contrary, things always end up bad for you. Now, how about you actually try to ignore the whole situation, and not give them a reaction at every instance. If they're being mean or disrespectful, just retreat yourself, do not engage in the conflict, say astaghfirullah or la hawla wa la quwwata illa billah and move on. I want to actually make a challenge with you: how well can you ignore this person on a daily basis? Like if they're in the kitchen stay in your room until they exit the kitchen and the coast is clear or just go there, say salam and then pretend they don't exist, pretend they're invisible. I dunno I am just giving an example 😅 The point is: sometimes when we can't change a situation, when it is beyond our control, we just let it go.

Besides, I don't know how good you are at setting boundaries, I really don't wanna bombard you with lots of ideas, so imma let you digest the ones I have already explained. Nevertheless, don't hesitate to set boundaries even with your parents if you deem the situation fitting for that. P.s. a side tip: maybe engage in other activities outside the household? You have mentioned that you work now full-time I guess Allahuma barik laki, and that you are studying? Okay brilliant! But apparently that still gives you a few hours in the daytime in the house. Maybe also holidays and weekends. So how about you find a sort of volunteering activity that would help you give back to the community, and keep you busy and away from the house for a few more hours? Actually that would be beneficial for you in several ways, you would feel that you are doing something good with your time, helping people is one of the greatest ways to sense our worth. ( And that's also a way to meet great people ... Or interesting potential in laws 🙈) which brings me to my last point:

3) You did talk about your concern about how in the Future it would be intense for your future partner to meet your family. Well I have two things to say about this: a) I am sure everyone has their share of toxicity/ dysfunction in their families, no family is perfect, and if your future partner in shaa Allah will be a good man then he will understand - However, the way to go about it is honestly and openness, you shouldn't lie about it or try to paint a different picture from reality, and in return you should be met with support and understanding in shaa Allah. So do not worry much about this point exactly because if he is the one he will want you for yourself and he will not judge your family or your circumstances. b) from the bottom of my heart I hope that you do not use marriage as your " escape root " from your family's house. A lot of girls, unfortunately, do that. They want to escape so badly they actually jump at the first opportunity that presents itself without much thinking or seeing if the guy is actually a good one, and then they realize that they made a mistake. So, even though I pray Allah swt grant you a pious gentle understanding husband one day, I hope you don't think of marriage as your way to freedom and whatnot. I hope you don't make a decision based on the wrong motives. Does that make sense sweetie?

Well, I did say I won't make it long but look at me 😶‍🌫️🫣.

I hope I touched on all the points you mentioned in your ask or at least most of them. I ask every sister who sees this post to make duaa for you.

This was a collaborative work and we pray that Allah swt fills your heart with so much sakinah, calmness and patience to make it through this trial, and reward you immensely for your patience sweetie. May Allah swt soften your parents' heart and guide your brother. May Allah swt mend your heart and place such a joyful event in your life soon that makes up for all this pain. Ameen.

- A. Z. & @3ayyn 🤍🍃

#sisterssafespace #toxic family

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writtenjewels · 2 years

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I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing by Aerosmith

Salim begrudged his aging body for the two A. M. bathroom run, but when he returned to the bedroom he did get a reward. Jason hadn't woken up and was currently sprawled on his half of the bed. The covers exposed his shoulders and chest, an arm tucked under but the other out as if reaching for Salim. Indeed, Salim would be occupying the space Jason was trying touch.

He approached the bed but didn't climb in just yet. It was a miracle enough that getting up hadn't roused Jason; he was reluctant to risk that a second time. They both struggled with sleep even months after they left the military.

Seeing Jason in his bed, looking like he belonged there, made Salim's heart swell. It was a long road to bring them to a point of sharing a bed. Starting at the moment they met to all the madness of the temple; meeting again and reconnecting; both of them awkwardly stumbling through their attraction to each other; finally confessing their feelings and sharing a first kiss; once again awkwardly figuring out dating, as it turned out neither really had much experience.

Jason said “I love you” first despite Salim being the one to start using petnames. Though to be fair he was using Arabic ones that Jason initially didn't understand. Moving in together was something they both wanted and talked about before committing to it. Now they shared a bed and every morning Salim gave thanks to Allah for it. They had both been through so much, separately and together.

Salim carefully sat on the edge of the bed so he wouldn't wake his partner. There were other words to describe the relationship-- lover, boyfriend-- but “partner” suited them best, in Salim's opinion. That was what they always were to each other, starting from their team-up down in the temple. Lately Salim had been thinking of another word to add, and wondered if Jason would want it.

It took a while for Salim to consider it after what happened with his ex-wife. Days of arguing with Jason over who would get the hot water in the shower, kissing a stubbled jaw just before it was shaved, watching old movies and sharing favorite snacks, going to sporting events to cheer on teams Salim never heard of, waking up on Sundays to the smell of Jason cooking, feeling affectionate squeezes and pinches when he did his part in cleaning the house, getting whatever Salim wanted brought to him while gardening, and enjoying an incredibly healthy sex life.

The thought came to Salim while he and Jason played a board game with Zain during his winter break: I want this for the rest of my life. And he felt no fear of a repeat of what happened with his ex-wife. Certainly he and Jason fought, got frustrated with each other, and were both stubborn, but Salim could feel the current of love even in their arguments. It was a love that he was sure of, a love he would never get enough of.

Salim slid into bed and Jason's fingers brushed his chest. With a grunt Jason tried grabbing onto Salim to pull him closer. Even in sleep they wanted to be near each other. Salim smiled a little admiring his partner, then put an arm around Jason and tugged the younger man into his arms. Jason let out a sigh and relaxed against Salim

In the morning, Salim promised himself, he would ask Jason to marry him.

#jason kolchek x salim othman #jason/salim #jason x salim #salim othman #jason kolchek #jalim #house of ashes #song inspiration

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asma-al-husna · 7 months

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Allah calls Himself Al-Waliy— The Protecting Friend, the Ally — on five occasions in the Quran. He is the One who lovingly guards and guides His creation. Al-Waliy is the lord and protector of creation, showing the path to righteousness. He is the One who protects, guards, and supports the believer in this world and the next!

The Ally, The Protector, the Loving Guardian

Waliy comes from the root waaw-laam-yaa, which points to four main meanings. The first main meaning is to be near and to be a friend and supporter. The second is to defend and guard (in a loving way) and the third main meaning is to turn towards something. The fourth main meaning is to be master and lord.

This root appears 232 times in the Quran in 12 derived forms. Examples of these forms are tawallaw (“they turn away”), awlaa (“is nearer or woe”), al-mawlaa (“the protector”) and awliyaa (“allies”).

Linguistically waliy (plural awliyaa) comes from the root word of wilaya, which is the opposite of enmity (adawaa). A ‘waliy amr’ is for example used referring to a child’s guardian, who looks after his or her affairs, someone who is close and who takes care of the child.

Al-Waliy combines the near, loving, protective, and guarding attributes of the One who is also the lord and master of the universe! Al-Waliy Himself says: And Allah is the ally of the believers [Quran, 3:68] and Or have they taken protectors [or allies] besides him? But Allah – He is the Protector [Quran, 42:9]

The Allies of Allah and the Allies of Shaytan

Al-Waliy has awliyaa among the people and Shaytan also has his allies. Indeed there is no fear upon the awliyaa of Allah, nor shall they grieve; those who believe and used to fear Allah much. For them are glad tidings in this life and the Hereafter. [Quran, 10:62]

The allies of Allah ‘azza wa jall will have no fear nor sadness in this world or the next. And Al-Waliy will bring light into their lives: Allah is the protector of those who believe, He takes them out of darkness into light [Quran, 2: 257] and the allies of Allah will have victory: Whoever takes a Wali of Mine as an enemy, I will wage war on him.[Hadith Qudsi, Al-Bukharee]

Al-Waliy also mentions the allies of Shaytan and the conseqences of their deeds: As for those who disbelieve, their allies are the taaghoot who take them out of the light and into the darkness. Those are the people of fire, and they will be in it forever [Quran, 2: 257] and We have made the devils allies of those who do not believe. [Quran,7:27]

How Can You Live by This Name?

1. Strive to be Allah’s wali.

Al-Waliy says in a hadith qudsi: Nothing endears My servant to Me than doing of what I have made obligatory upon him to do. And My servant continues to draw nearer to Me with the supererogatory (nawafil) so that I shall love him. When I love him, I shall be his hearing with which he shall hear, his sight with which he shall see, his hands with which he shall hold, and his feet with which he shall walk. And if he asks (something) of Me, I shall surely give it to him, and if he takes refuge in Me, I shall certainly grant him it [Al-Bukharee]

Don’t think only scholars can be awliyaa; know that you too can be a wali of Allah ‘azza wa jall! How? By focusing on your obligatory acts of worship first, e.g. give priority to your prayer, like studying ways of how to concentrate better, pray on time, etc. Then complement them by doing as many voluntary deeds as you can, studying the sunnah so you can apply the daily ways of the prophet salallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam to your life. The result is, Al-Waliyy will love you, and when He loves you He will guide you in using your limbs righteously. He will grant your wishes and protect you!

2. Strive for taqwa.

Unquestionably, [for] the awliya of Allah there will be no fear concerning them, nor will they grieve. Those who believed and had taqwa of Allah.. [Quran, 10:62]. If you want to be a wali of Allah, build a relationship with the Quran and ask Al-Waliy to give you understanding of its ayaat so you will be inspired to live by them Al-Waliyy describes the risk of turning away from the Quran: Whoever turns away from the reminder of the Merciful, we will assign to him a devil, who will be a partner to him [Quran, 43: 36] Another great motivator to increase your taqwa is daily remembering and visualising Paradise. Study the names and attributes of Allah ‘azza wa jall to increase your fear and love for Him and pray to be included in the above ayah as one of His awliyaa.

3. Be a righteous friend.

Be a loving friend to others, protecting their rights. The prophet salallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said: Allah will aid a servant (of His) so long as the servant aids his brother. [Muslim] Take any responsibility you have seriously in representing someone or supporting someone with their affairs.

4.Trust that Allah is the best ally.

Remind yourself that Al-Waliy is the best ally to turn to at all times and put your trust in Him. When two parties from among you were about to lose heart, but Allah was their Waliy. And in Allah let the believers put their trust [Quran, 3:122] Take comfort in the fact that He knows your enemies and He is your best Helper: Allah is full of knowledge of your enemies, and Allah is Sufficient as a Waliy; and Allah is sufficient as a Helper [Quran, 4:45]

5. Ask Al-Waliyy.

You will always be in need of the support and protection of Al-Waliy so ask Him to protect and assist you in this life, at the time of death, in the grave, and on the Day of Reckoning.

Wallahu ta’alaa ‘alem.

O Allah, Al-Waliy, we know that You are the most loving Guardian. Make us of your awliyaa and guide us to complement our obligatory acts of worship with abundant voluntary deeds. Bless us with righteous friends, make us pious friends to other believers and assist us in turning to You and trusting in You only as our best Ally at all times, ameen!

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seharschronicles · 23 days

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Story of Ibrahim AS - Chapter 4

Ibrahim (AS) was thrown into the fire by Nimrud. We don't take the incident seriously because Ibrahim (AS) was saved in the end. The fire became cool for him. But when did the fire become cool for Ibrahim?

When he was thrown into it. Not before.

Wouldn't his heart tremble before being put into the fire? Wouldn't he have thought, "Why isn't Allah helping? Let it rain, let some big event happen, let something happen so that this fire can be extinguished." Like in movies where the police come in time to save the main character. But no one came to save Ibrahim before he entered the fire. Allah let Ibrahim fall into the fire.

Ibrahim (AS) was tied up and thrown into the fire from a great height, like throwing a ball from a cannon. From tying him up to throwing him into the fire, Allah's help was silent. Why? Allah could have extinguished the fire. He could have made all those who started the fire disappear. But Allah let the fire burn. The wood was so strong that it took several days for it to burn completely. Allah could have turned the wood into ashes before they caught fire. He could have stopped the fire from starting at all. But Allah didn't do that. He let the fire start. He let it burn. People were allowed to do their job. Because it was Ibrahim's test. It was a test of faith.

Facing the blazing fire in front of him, would Ibrahim lose hope in the Lord he had found through his own intellect? Would Ibrahim lose faith in justice and truth? Would Ibrahim give up hope? And to pass this test, it was necessary to descend into the fire. Until Ibrahim descends into the fire with complete calmness, how will it be proven that his faith in Allah is strong?

Why was Ibrahim calm when he was thrown into the fire? Because he knew that if believing in Allah as his Lord costs burning, then I will pay it. If telling the truth is the punishment, then I accept it.

Let’s look at our lives. Although no one throws you into the fire after burning wood. Nor does anyone tie you up with ropes. But there are other fires in our lives.

Sometimes you are bound by chains of relationships and obligations. To the extent that you become imprisoned. You can't escape. Because there are chains on your feet. Family. Spouse. Children. Siblings. Blood relations. Social ties. No matter how much they hurt you, you can't leave them. No matter how troubled they become, you can't leave them.

And then there are some people among them who always ignite fires for you. They also set your heart on fire, sometimes reducing you to ashes with their words.

And in such situations, who do you lose hope in first? Your Rabb. We ask, “Why isn't He helping me? Why isn't He taking me out of this? Why is He letting this happen to me?”

We ask these questions to Him countless times with shock and regret. But Allah had let this happen with Ibrahim too.

Allah will not extinguish the fire for you beforehand. Nor will He cut off the hands of those who set it. Allah will let them light the fire. He will let you enter that fire as well. Because that's the test.

And what is Allah’s help? Allah will not let you burn. He will turn that fire into a garden for you. In the world's eyes, it will remain a fire, but you won’t feel it. For every trouble that keeps you clinging to Allah's promises, Allah will let you enter that trouble and send help, but after you've entered it, so that He doesn't let you burn. He won't let that fire turn your life into ashes.

By abiding by Allah's command, the fire that enters your life will never be able to burn your house. It will only be terrifying to look at. It will be cool in intensity. You will conquer your fear and enter that fire. There will be no fear for you.

So, if someone opposes us because of Allah, let them. If someone gives us trouble because of Allah, let them. We'll endure it. Because this trouble will never ruin your life.

Allah’s help will not come until you have entered the fire. Entering the fire is necessary. Allah's help comes after that.

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kassiekole22 · 2 years

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Unlikely Friends

Description: The reader wakes up separated from her team, when she sees an Iraqi in desperate need of some help. After she helps him, they both realize that like it or not, the best option is to stick together. (I had wrote this a couple of months ago, and forgot about it. It wasn't until I was taking to @108garys the other day about Dar, that I remembered about this odd fic I did. So I decided to post it. Enjoy! 🙂)

Warnings: None...

TagList: @lorebite, @buttermykolchek, @yellowroseskolchek, @house-of-kolchek, @kawaiiwitch224, @koexchange, and @yeslieutenant.

(This takes place after The Horror chapter…)

You woke up, feeling very dizzy. Your eyes shot open as you heard somebody screaming for help. You stood up, stumbling a little, because your ankle was hurting bad. You looked around the room to see a man getting attacked by a group of the creatures. Not hesitating, you grabbed your gun, and shot at the creatures, scaring them away. You ran over to the man, and helped him up.

You both ran out of the room, and down the hall. You ran for a good 5 minutes, before you had to stop. Reaching down to rub your ankle, you glanced up at the man standing infront of you.

'Oh, you've gotta be fucking kidding me?!' You thought, as you realized who you were stuck with. The tall Iraqi soldier stood there, looking around the room in fear. Out of anyone you had to be stuck with, it had to be him. And it wasn't even the nice Iraqi. No, no, no! You had to get stuck with the stubborn asshole one!

["What the fuck is going on?"] He muttered to himself. Luckily, Rachel taught you a bit of Arabic. So you could kind of understand him.

["Beats me."] You mumbled, standing straight again. The man turned to look at you, and gave you a glare, then looked away.

'The nerve of you!'

["Oh! You're welcome, for saving your ass, by the way!"] You snapped. He turned to look at you again, shocked by your tone.

["Well, I never asked you too!"] He snapped back.

["Well, would you have rathered me walk away, and let you get killed?!"] I asked. He gave me a glare.

["I can handle myself!"] He grumbled.

["Oh, yeah. I can see that."] You said sarcastically, as you rolled your eyes.

You went to walk, but gasped and stumbled due to the pain. He caught your arm, stopping you from falling.

["For the love of Allah…"] He mumbled to himself, clearly being frustrated by the situation. A small part of you couldn't blame him. He bent down and grabbed your foot, poking at your ankle, and making you move your foot around.

["It's just a sprain. You'll be fine."] He grumbled, standing back up.

["Thank you."] You muttered, and he rolled his eyes.

["Do you think the others made it?"] He asked, clearly he only really gave a shit about his friend.

["If they did, they shouldn't be to far ahead…"]

He turned away from you, and started walking down a dark hallway, and you followed, clearly having no choice in the matter. As his friend said earlier, "We have to help each other. It's the only way…"

You followed closely behind the man. Both of you being as quiet as possible, to listen for the creatures, and because you didn't want them to hear you.

You noticed that he kept squinting his eyes. It was dark, but not dark enough to not be able to see.

["Having trouble seeing?"] You asked.

["Why do you care"] He grumbled.

["I don't…"]

You both went silent for a minute. He sighed.

["I lost my glasses when I fell down here…"] He squinted his eyes even more, to the point where they looked closed. ["Shit!"]

["Fuck, that sucks."] You watched the man struggle.

["Here."] You got infront of him. ["Follow me."]

---------------------------‐------‐------------------------------‐------‐------

Awhile later, You walked into a room with some light in it. A good place for a break. You leaned up against a table that the archeologists set up.

["(Y/N) (L/N)."] You spoke up, offering your hand to the man. He looked up at you.

["Dar."] He stuck his hand out. ["Dar Basri."]

You shook his hand, before turning your attention to the ground, noticing initials drawing in the dirt.

"Jason!" You called out, happy to know that your friend is still alive. Dar look at you confused.

["My friend is still alive! He went this way! Let's go!"] You called out to Dar in excitement. He sighed and followed you.

---------------------------‐------‐------------------------------‐------‐------

Awhile later you came across a waterfall. You both stopped to rest. You were both extremely tired and worn out.

Dar stood there, watching the water, looking lost in thought. You stood back for a few, not knowing if you should interrupt him. You approached him slowly.

["You ok?"] You cocked your head slightly, with a concerned tone to your voice.

["We might never get out of here. I might never see my wife again…"] He whispered.

["You're married?"] You asked, your voice sounding more surprised then you meant it to.

["Going on twenty-five years."] He smiled. ["I still remember it like it was yesterday. She was so beautiful..."] He looked down. ["She still is…"] He added, his voice sounding more sad now.

["Is that-"] He started. Suddenly his eyes widened. He pointed at the water.

["My wallet!"] He gasped. You looked down to see an open wallet, laying on a rock that was just poking out of the water.

["Damnit! How did it get down here?!"] He grumbled. He stared down at the wallet, when suddenly he started breathing heavier. His eyes widened, as he began to panic.

["I should have listened to Salim. He didn't want to fight. He said that the war was over… Now look at where we are… He even warned me about the demons, but I didn't believe him…"] He sighed, knowing that panicking wasn't going to get him anywhere. You remembered that Salim was the other Iraqi, because Nick had mentioned his name earlier on.

["We should go…"] He whispered.

He had no choice, but to leave his wallet behind. It was hard to see, but there was a picture of him and his wife inside. He watched it for a few more seconds, before turning to leave. Was that going to be the last time he saw his wife?

---------------------------‐------‐------------------------------‐------‐------

You had stumbled deeper into this nightmare, to find the creatures true home. Apon making this discovery, You seen Your team, and his friend crawling into a hole under the wall, to get away from the creatures. You followed them.

You lifted Your head up when you made it inside, to see Jason staring down at you in shock.

"(Y/N)! You're alive?!" He called out, as he bent down, and offered you his hand. You took his hand, and he helped you up. "Hell yeah! Have any doubt, Lieutenant?" You smiled.

["Dar?!"] You heard the other Iragi, Salim, call behind You. Dar was struggling to climb all the way through, as Salim bent down, offering his hand to help him up. Dar took his hand. ["You thought you could get rid of me that easily?"] Dar laughed. Salim chuckled at that. ["I'm so glad that you are ok, Dar"] Salim said, and Dar smiled.

Dar introduced you to Salim, and you introduced him to your team. You all made a plan on how to take out the creatures before leaving. You weren't %100 sure that the plan would work. But you had to have hope.

--------------------------------------------------------‐‐---------------------

You had finally made it to the surface, and survived the eclipse. You and the others sat in the shepard's huts, resting your bodies from the hell that you had overcome.

"I must see my boy…" Salim said. He stood up and grabbed his metal rod. "A souvenir." He held it up, and laughed a little. You smiled at him.

"I must go too… I have to see my wife…" Dar said. He got up, and followed Salim to the door, turning around for a second to give you a small smile, before turning back again to leave.

"Salim! Wait!" Jason called out. He got up and headed for the door. "Yeah, wait!" You called out, following Jason.

"Good luck, brother. You wish Zain a happy birthday from me." Jason smiled at Salim. "Thank you, Jason." Salim shook Jason's hand, giving him a sad smile. "Goodbye, my friend."

"Goodbye, Salim. You wish Zain a happy birthday from me too." You hugged Salim, feeling your emotions pricking at the backs of your eyes. "Thank you, (Y/N)." He smiled down at you. "And you take good care of her." He turned to Jason. Jason laughed, and nodded his head. "Take care of yourself." You smiled up at him, feeling a tear threatening to escape.

You looked past Salim, to see Dar waiting by the door. You walked over to him.

["Goodbye, Buddy. Thank you for everything."] You said to the man. Your voice went shakey. ["Thank you too. I probably wouldn't have made it, if it wasn't for you."] The older man smiled down at you. You smiled up at him, finally letting those tears fall down. You shook his hand, and turned to go back into the hut.

"Goodbye, my friend." You heard Dar speak up. You turned around in shock. He smiled, and you smiled back one last time. He turned around, and left with Salim. You watched them walk away for a little while. It broke your heart to see them leave. But you knew it was for the best. Salim was going home to his son. And Dar was going home to his wife.

You knew to expect the unexpected when doing this job. But you never expected to fall into the earth. You never expected to discover a buried ancient temple, that contained a nest of unearthly creatures. You never expected to make friends with two Iraqi soldiers. You knew one thing for sure, you'd never forget them. You'd never forget the day that you made two unlikely friends...

#dark pictures anthology #dark pictures house of ashes #house of ashes #HOA #dar basri #salim othman #jason kolchek #unlikely friends #KassieJalimFanFics

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loverandservantoftheahlulbayt · 1 year

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🍃🕊🍃 Fifteen Whispered Prayers

One of the valuable works of Imam Zayn al-‘Abidin (as)

Fifteen Whispered Prayers, which is among the spiritual sources in the world of Islam. With them the Imam treated many psychological problems as well as he opened with them brilliant horizons to communicate with Allah, the Exalted. He supplicated Him with a heart full of hope and expectation, pleaded to Him humbly, melted before His mightiness, hoped Him with the hope of the sincere and those who turned to Him in repentance, and turned his heart and feelings toward Him, hence he saw none other than Him. He supplicated Him with lowliness and humbleness asking Him for pardon and forgiveness. His whispered prayers moved the hearts of the Allah-fearing and the righteous from among the followers of the members of the House (ahl al-Bayt), peace be on them, so they supplicated Allah in the sacred places at dark night and besought His care and favors.

Ascribing these whispered prayers to Imam Zayn al-‘Abidin, peace be on him, has become famous. For example, al-Majjlisi, a researcher, has written them in his book ‘Bihar al-Anwar’. The scholars who wrote about the supplementary supplications regarded them as some items of al-Sahifa al-Sajjadiya. Shaykh ‘Abbas al-Qummi, a researcher, has mentioned them in his book ‘Mafatih al-Jinan. The scholars took great care of them, and ordered them to be translated into foreign languages, for instance, they were translated into Persian by Sartib Rushdiya. They have been written in decorated, golden scripts, and printed in Tehran. They are found in great number in the Islamic world. A wonderful copy of them is in the Library of Imam Amir al-Mu’minin, peace be on him, holding number (2098). These whispered prayers are as follows:

The First Whispered Prayer

This whispered Prayer is better known as the Whispered Prayer of the Repenters. In it the Imam turned to Allah in repentance asking Him for mercy and forgiveness. This is its text:

“O Allah, offenses have clothed me in the garment of my lowliness, separation from You has wrapped me in the clothing of my misery! My dreadful crimes have deadened my heart, so bring it to life by a repentance from You! O my hope and my aim! O my wish and my want! By Your might, I find no one but You to forgive my sins and I see none but You to mend my brokenness! I have subjected myself to You in repeated turning, I have humbled myself to You in abasement. If You cast me out from Your door, in whom shall I take shelter? If You repel me from Your side, in whom shall I seek refuge? O my grief at my ignominy and disgrace! O my sorrow at my evil works and what I have committed! I ask You, O Forgiver of great sins, O Mender of broken bones, to overlook my ruinous misdeeds and cover my disgraceful secret thoughts!

At the witnessing place of the Resurrection, empty me not of the coolness of Your pardon and forgiveness, and strip me not of Your beautiful forbearance and covering! My Allah, let the clouds of Your mercy cast its shadow upon my sins and send the billow of Your clemency flowing over my faults! My Allah, if remorse for sins is a repentance, I by Your mightam one of the remorseful! If praying forgiveness for offenses is an alleviation, I am one of those who pray forgiveness! To You I return that You may be well pleased! My Allah, through Your power over me, turned toward me, through Your clemency toward me, pardon me, and through Your knowledge of me, be gentle toward me! My Allah, You are He who have opened a door to Your pardon and named it ‘repentance’, for You said, Repent to Allah with unswerving repentance.

What is the excuse of him who remains heedless of entering the door after its opening? My Allah, though the sins of Your servant are ugly, Your pardon is beautiful. My Allah, I am not the first to have disobeyed You, and You turned toward him, or to have sought to attain Your favor, and You were munificent toward him. O Responder to the distressed! O Remover of injury! O Knower of everything secret! O Beautiful through covering over! I seek Your munificence and Your generosity to intercede with You, I seek Your side and Your showing mercy to mediate with You, so grant my supplication, disappoint not my hope in You, accept my repentance, and hide my offense, through Your kindness and mercy, o Most Merciful of the merciful!”

It is certain that Imam Zayn al-‘Abidin, peace be on him, obeyed Allah throughout his lifetime and did not commit any sin before Him. He was among the leading members of this community in guidance, piety, and reverential fear. He whispered to Allah with these whispered prayers and others to teach the community and show it the way to good and righteousness. He summoned it to repentance, that it might purify itself from crimes and sins, and obtain Allah’s forgiveness and good pleasure.

The Second Whispered Prayer

It is better known as the Whispered Prayer of the Complainers. In it the Imam, peace be on him, complained to Allah of himself asking Him to set it right completely. This is its text:

“My Allah, to You I complain of a soul commanding to evil, rushing to offenses, eager to disobey You, and exposing itself to Your anger. It takes me on the roads of disasters, it makes me the easiest of perishers before You; many its pretexts, drawn out its expectations, when evil touches it, it is anxious, when good touches it, grudging; inclining to sport and diversion, full of heedlessness and inattention, it hurries me to misdeeds and makes me delay repentance.

“My Allah, I complain to You of an enemy who misguides me and a satan who leads me astray. He has filled my breast with tempting thoughts, and his suggestions have encompassed my heart. He supports caprice against me, embellishes for me the love of this world, and separates me from obedience and proximity!

“My Allah, to You I complain of a heart that is hard, turned this way and that by tempting thoughts, clothed in rust and the seal, and of an eye too indifferent to weep in fear of You and eagerly seeking that which gladdens it! My Allah, there is no force and no strength except in Your power, and no deliverance for me from the detested things of this world save through Your preservation. So I ask You by Your far-reaching wisdom and Your penetrating will not to let me expose myself to other than Your munificence and not to turn me into a target for trials! Be for me a helper against enemies, a coverer of shameful things and faults, a protector against afflictions, a preserver against acts of disobedience! By Your clemency and mercy, O Most merciful!”

In this whispered prayer the Imam, peace be on him, spoke about man’s soul. He took about the diseases and evil inclinations which turned man away from remembering Allah and throw him into great evil. The following is an example of these dangerous diseases:

A. Rushing to sins and offenses.

B. Exposing to Allah’s displeasure and anger.

C. Drawn out expectations.

D. Inclining to sport and diversion.

E. Heedlessness of remembering Allah.

F. Delaying repentance.

G. The hardness of heart, tempting thoughts, and craving.

These diseases make man walk on the path of inclinations and obey the accursed Satan, we seek refuge in Allah from him.

The Third Whispered Prayer

This whispered prayer is better known as the Whispered Prayer of the Fearful. In it the Imam, peace be on him, showed his great fear of Allah. It is as follows:

“My Allah, what think You? Will You chastise me after faith in You, drive me far away after my love for You, deprive me while I hope for Your mercy and forgiveness, forsake me while I seek sanctuary in Your pardon? How could Your generous face disappoint me?! Would that I knewDid my mother bear me for wretchedness? Did she nurture me for suffering? Would then that she had not borne me and had not nurtured me! Would that I had knowledgeHave You appointed me one of the people of felicity? Have You singled me out for Your nearness and neighborhood? Then would my eyes be gladdened, and in that my soul reach serenity.

“My Allah, do You blacken faces which fall down in prostration before Your mightiness? Do You strike dumb tongues which speak in laudation of Your glory and majesty? Do You seal hearts which harbor Your love? Do You deafen ears which take pleasure in hearing Your remembrance according to Your will? Do You manacle hands which expectations have raised to You in hope of Your clemency? Do You punish bodies which worked to obey You until they grew thin in struggling for You? Do You chastise legs which ran to worship You? My Allah, lock not toward those who profess Your Unity the doors of Your mercy, and veil not those who yearn for You from looking upon the vision of You beauty!

“My Allah, a soul which You have exalted by its professing Your Unityhow will You burn it in the heat of Your fires? My Allah, give me sanctuary from Your painful wrath and Your mighty anger! O All-loving, O All-kind! O Compassionate, O Merciful! O Compeller, O Subduer! O All-forgiver, O All-covering! Deliver me through Your mercy from the chastisement of the Fire and the disgrace of shame when the good are sent apart from the evil, forms are transformed, terrors terrify, the good-doers are brought near, the evildoers taken far, and every soul is paid in full what it has earned, and they shall not be wronged!”

In this whispered prayer the Imam, peace be on him, opened a door to conversation with Allah, the Exalted. He conversed with Him politely and humbly, asking Him not to chastise the believers and the monotheists and not to let the Fire touch their bodies. It is impossible for Allah to chastise the faces which prostrate in prayer for His mightiness, the tongues which always praise Him, the ears which enjoy remembering Him, and the hands which are raised for supplicating Him, hoping for His affection and mercy. Surely Allah will chastise His criminal, disobedient enemies.

The Forth Whispered Prayer

This whispered Prayer is better known as the Whispered Prayer of the Hopeful. In it the Imam, peace be on him, hoped for Allah’s munificence and His bestowals upon him. It reads as follows:

“O He who gives to a servant who asks from Him, takes him to his wish when he expectantly hopes for what is with Him, brings him near and close when he approaches Him, covers over his sin and cloaks it when he shows it openly, and satisfies and suffices him when he has confidence in Him!

“My Allah, who is the one who has come before You seeking hospitality, and whom You have not received hospitably? Who is the one who has dismounted at Your door hoping for magnanimity, and to whom You have not shown it? Is it good that I come back from You door, turned away in disappointment, while I know of no patron qualified by beneficence but You? How should I have hope in other than You, when the goodall of itis in Your hand? How should I expect from others, when Yours are the creation and the command? Should I cut off my hope for You, when You have shown me of Your bounty that for which I have not asked? Would You make me have need for my like? But I hold fast to Your cord! O He through whose mercy the strivers reach felicity and through whose vengeance the seekers of forgiveness are not made wretched! How should I forget You, while You never cease remembering me? How should I be diverted from You while You are my constant watcher?

“My Allah, I have fastened my hand to the skirt of Your generosity, I have stretched forth my expectation toward reaching Your gifts, so render me pure through the purest profession of Your Unity, and appoint me one of Your choice servants! O He who is the asylum of every fleer, the hope of every seeker! O Best Object of hope! O Most Generous Object of supplication! O He who does not reject His asker or disappoint the expectant! O He whose door is open to His supplicators and whose veil lifted for those who hope in Him! I ask You by Your generosity to show kindness toward me through Your gifts, with that which will gladden my eye, through hope in You with that which will give serenity to my soul, and through certainty with that which will make easy for me the afflictions of this world and lift from my insight the veils of blindness! By Your mercy, O Most Merciful of the merciful!”

In this whispered prayer the Imam, peace be on him, expressed his great hope in Allah’s pardon and his firm faith in His ample mercy which includes all those who beseech Him, the Imam and others are the same.

The great Imam devoted himself to Allah. In all of his affairs he did not hope any creature, for he thought that hoping what was in their hands was a mirage and expecting what was with them was a mere play and loss.

The Fifth Whispered Prayer

This whispered prayer is better known as the Whispered Prayer of the Beseechers. In it the Imam beseeched what was with Allah and renounced what was with other than Him.

“O Allah, though my stores for traveling to You are few, my confidence in You has given me a good opinion. Though my sin has made me fear Your punishment, my hope has let me feel secure from vengeance. Though my misdeed has exposed me to Your penalty, my excellent trust has apprised me of Your reward. Though heedlessness has put to sleep my readiness to meet You, knowledge has awakened me to Your generosity and boons. Though excessive disobedience and rebellion have estranged me from You, the glad tidings of forgiveness and good pleasure have made me feel intimate with You.

I ask You by the splendors of Your face and the lights of Your holiness, and I implore You by the tenderness of Your mercy and the gentleness of Your goodness, to verify my opinion in expecting Your great generosity and You beautiful favor through nearness to You, proximity to You, and enjoyment of gazing at You! Here am I, addressing myself to the breezes of Your freshness and tenderness, having recourse to the rain of Your generosity and gentleness, fleeing from Your displeasure to Your good pleasure and from You to You, hoping for the best of what is with You, relying upon Your gifts, utterly poor toward Your guarding!

“My Allah, Your bounty which You have beguncomplete it! Your generosity which You have given mestrip it not away! Your cover over me through Your clemencytear it not away! My ugly acts which You have come to knowforgive them! My Allah, I seek intercession from You with You, and I seek sanctuary in You from You! I have come to You craving Your beneficence, desiring Your kindness, seeking water from the deluge of Your graciousness, begging rain from the clouds of Your bounty, requesting Your good pleasure, going straight to Your side, arriving at the water-place of Your support, seeking exalted good things from Your quarter, reaching for the presence of Your beauty, wanting Your face, knocking at Your door, abasing myself before Your mightiness and majesty! So act toward me with the forgiveness and mercy of which You are worthy! Act not toward me with the chastisement and vengeance of which I am worthy! By Your mercy, O Most Merciful of the merciful!”

In this whispered prayer the Imam, peace be on him, showed his good opinion in Allah’s pardon, his great hope in His generosity, his faith in His plentiful boons. He clung to Him and dictated himself to Him, asking Him for mercy and pity. He pleaded to Allah and showed humbleness and submission to Him.

The Sixth Whispered Prayer

It is better known as the Whispered Prayer of the Thankful. In it the Imam showed gratitude to Allah, the Exalted, for His plentiful good and excellent boons. After the basmala (in the Name of Allah, the All-merciful, the All-compassionate), he said:

“My Allah, uninterrupted flow of Your graciousness has distracted me from thanking You! The flood of Your bounty has rendered me incapable of counting Your praises! The succession of Your kind acts has diverted me from mentioning You in laudation! The continuous rush of Your benefits has thwarted me from spreading the news of Your gentle favors! This is the station of him who confesses to the lavishness of favors, meets them with shortcomings, and witnesses to his own disregard and negligence. You are the Clement, the Compassionate, the Good, the Generous, who does not disappoint those who aim for him, nor cast out from His courtyard those who expect from Him! In Your yard are put down the saddlebags of the hopeful and in Your plain stand the hopes of the hope-seekers! So meet not our hopes by disappointing and disheartening and clothe us not in the shirt of despair and despondency!

“My Allah, my thanksgiving is small before Your great boons, and my praise and news-spreading shrink beside Your generosity toward me! Your favors have wrapped me in the ropes of the lights of faith, and the gentleness of Your goodness have let down over me delicate curtains of might! Your kindnesses have collared me with collars not to be moved and adorned me with neck-rings not to be broken! Your boons are abundantmy tongue is too weak to count them! Your favors are manymy understanding falls short of grasping them, not to speak of exhausting them! So how can I achieve thanksgiving? For my thanking You requires thanksgiving. Whenever I say, ‘To You belongs praise!’, it becomes thereby incumbent upon me to say, ‘To You belongs praise’!

“My Allah, as You have fed us through Your gentleness and nurtured us through Your benefaction, so also complete for us lavish favors, repel from us detested acts of vengeance, and of the shares of the two abodes, give us their most elevated and their greatest, both the immediate and the deferred! To You belongs praise for Your good trial and the lavishness of Your favors, a praise conforming to Your good pleasure and attracting Your great goodness and magnanimity. O All-mighty, O All-generous! By Your mercy, O Most Merciful of the merciful!”

In this whispered prayer the Imam, peace be on him, teaches us how to thank Allah, the Most High, for His lavish boons, and great favors. Indeed whatever man thanks Allah he falls short of thanking Him.

The Seventh Whispered Prayer

It is better known as the Whispered Prayer of the Obedient Toward Allah. This is its text:

“O Allah, inspire us to obey You, turn us aside from disobeying You, make it easy for us to reach the seeking of Your good pleasure which we wish, set us down in the mist of Your Gardens, dispel from our insights the clouds of misgiving, uncover from our hearts the wrappings of doubt and the veil, make falsehood vanish from our innermost minds, and fix the truth in our secret thoughts, for doubts and opinions fertilize temptations and muddy the purity of gifts and kindnesses! O Allah, carry us in the ships of Your deliverance, give us to enjoin the pleasure of whispered prayer to Your, make us drink at the pools of Your love, let us taste the sweetness of Your affection and nearness, all as to struggle in You, and purify our intentions in devoting works to You, for we exist through You and belong to You, and we have no one to mediate with You but You! My Allah, place me among the chosen, the good, join me to the righteous, the pious, the first to reach generous gifts, the swift to come upon good things, the workers of the abiding acts of righteousness, the strivers after elevated degrees! You are powerful over everything and disposed to respond! By Your mercy, O Most Merciful of the merciful!”

The Imam, peace be on him, implored Allah to turn him aside from disobeying Him, to make it easy for him to reach the seeking of His good pleasure and nearness to Him, to purify his intention in devoting works to Him, and to place him among those who were swift to come upon good things, the workers of the abiding acts of righteousness.

The Eighth Whispered Prayer

It is better known as the Whispered Prayer of the Devotees to Allah. It is among his outstanding whispered prayers. It is as follows:

“Glory be to You! How narrow are the paths for him whom You have not guided! How plain the truth for him whom You have guided on his way! My Allah, so make us travel on the roads that arrive at You and set us into motion on the paths nearest to reaching You! Make near for us the far, and make easy for us the hard and difficult! Join us to Your servants, those who hurry to You swiftly, knock constantly at Your door, and worship You by night and by day, while they remain apprehensive in awe of You! You have purified their drinking places, taken them to the objects of their desire, granted their requests, accomplished their wishes through Your bounty, filled their minds with Your love, and quenched their thirst with Your pure drink. Through You have they reached the pleasure of whispered prayer to You, and in You have they achieved their furthest goals.

O He who comes toward those who come toward Him and grants gifts and bestows bounty upon them through tenderness! He is compassionate and clement toward those heedless of His remembrance and loving and tender in drawing them to His door! I ask You to place me among those of them who have the fullest share from You, the highest station with You, the most plentiful portion of Your love, and the most excellent allotment of Your knowledge, for my aspiration has been cut off from everything but You and my desire has turned away toward You alone. You are my object, none other; to You alone belongs my waking and my sleeplessness. Meeting You is the gladness of my eye, joining You the wish of my soul. Toward You is my yearning, in love for You my passionate longing, in clinging toward You my fervent craving.

Your good pleasure is the aim I seek, vision of You my need, Your neighborhood my request, nearness to You the utmost object of my asking. In whispered prayer to You I find my repose and my ease. With You lies the remedy of my illness, the cure for my burning thirst, the coolness of my ardor, the removal of my distress. Be my intimate in my loneliness, the releaser of my stumble, the forgiver of my slip, the acceptor of my repentance, the responder to my supplication, the patron of preserving me from sin, the one who frees me from my neediness! Cut me not off from You! and keep me not far from You! O my bliss and my garden! O my this world and my hereafter! O Most Merciful of the merciful!”

In this whispered prayer the Imam, peace be on him, devoted himself to Allah. Hence he saw none other than Him. He sincerely asked Him to make him travel on the roads which arrived at Him, to set him into motion on the paths nearest to reaching Him, and to join him to His righteous servants, who did not speak before Him and worked according to His commands.

The Ninth Whispered Prayer

It is better known as the Whispered Prayer of the Lovers, and it is as follows:

“My Allah, who can have tested the sweetness of Your love, then wanted another in place of You? Who can have become intimate with You nearness, then sought removal from You? My Allah, place us with him whom You have chosen for Your nearness and Your friendship, purified through Your affection and Your love, given yearning for the meeting with You, made pleased with Your decree, granted gazing upon Your face, shown the favor of Your good pleasure, given refuge from separation from You and Your loathing, settled in a sure sitting place in Your neighborhood, singled out for true knowledge of You, made worthy for worship of You, whose heart You have captivated with Your will, whom You have picked for contemplating You, whose look You have made empty for You, whose breast You have freed for Your love, whom You have made desirous of what is with You, inspired with Your remembrance, allotted thanksgiving to You, occupied with obeying You, turned into one of Your righteous creatures, chosen for whispered prayer to You, and from whom You have cut off all things which cut him off from You!

O Allah, place us among those whose habit is rejoicing in You and yearning for You, whose time is spent in sighing and moaning! Their foreheads are bowed down before Your mightiness, their eyes wakeful in Your service, their tears flowing in dread of You, their hearts fixed upon Your love, their cores shaken with awe of You. O He the lights of those holiness induce wonder in the eyes of His lovers, the glories of whose face arouse the longing of the hearts of His knowers! O Furthest Wish of the hearts of the yearners! O Utmost Limit of the hopes of the lovers! I ask from You love for You, love for those who love You, love for every work which will join me to Your nearness, and that You make Yourself more beloved to me than anything other than You and make my love for You lead to Your good pleasure, and my yearning for You protect against disobeying You! Oblige me by allowing me to gaze upon You, gaze upon You with the eye of affection and tenderness, turn not Your face away from me, and make me one of the people of happiness with You and favored position! O Responder, O Most Merciful of the merciful!”

In this whispered prayer the Imam, peace be on him, expressed his sincere love and affection for Allah, the Exalted, asking Him to place him with those whom He had chosen for His nearness and given yearning for the meeting with Him, to free his breast for His love, and to make him love every work that would draw him nigh to Him.

The Tenth Whispered Prayer

It is better known as the Whispered Prayer of those Asking for Mediation. In it the Imam, peace be on him, asked Allah, the Exalted, for mercy and good pleasure. It is as follows:

“O Allah, I have no mediation with You but the tender acts of Your clemency, nor any way to come to You but the gentle favors of Your mercy, and the intercession of Your Prophet, the prophet of mercy, who rescued the community from confusion. Make these two my tie to attaining Your forgiveness and let them take me to triumph through Your good pleasure! My hope has dismounted in the sacred precinct of Your generosity, my craving has alighted in the courtyard of Your munificence. So actualize my expectation from You, seal my works with good, and place me among Your selected friends, those whom You have sent down in the midst of Your Garden, and settled in the abode of Your honor, whose eyes You have gladdened by gazing upon You on the day of meeting You, and whom You have made heirs to the sure stations in Your neighborhood! O He none more generous than whom is reached by the reachers and none more merciful than whom is found by the aimers! O Best of those with whom the lonely are alone, O Tenderest of those with whom outcasts seek haven! Toward the expanse of Your pardon have I extended my hand, upon the skirt of Your generosity have I fastened my grasp! Show me no deprivation and afflict me not with disappointment and loss! O Hearer of supplications! O Most Merciful of the merciful!”

In this whispered prayer the Imam, peace be on him, pleaded to Allah to provide him with the tender acts of His clemency, and the intercession of His Prophet, (Allah bless him and his Household), to make these two his tie to attaining His forgiveness and good pleasure, to seal his life with good, to settle him in the abode of His honor, and to place him among His chosen servants.

The Eleventh Whispered Prayer

It is better known as the Whispered Prayer of the Utterly Poor. In it the Imam showed his poverty and neediness before Allah, saying:

“My Allah, nothing will mend my fracture but Your gentleness and loving care, free me of my poverty but Your affection and beneficence, still my fright but Your security, exalt my abasement but Your sovereignty, take me to my hope but Your bounty, remedy my lack but Your graciousness, accomplish my need other than You, relieve my distress other than Your mercy, remove my injury other than Your clemency, cool my burning thirst but reaching You, quench my ardor but meeting You, damp my yearning but gazing upon Your face, settle my settling place without closeness to You, allay my worry but Your repose, cure my illness but Your medicine, eliminate my grief but Your nearness, heal my wound but Your forgiveness, remove the rust on my heart but Your pardon, banish the confusing thoughts from my breast but Your command! O Utmost Hope of the hopers! O Ultimate Demand of the askers! O Furthest Request of the requesters! O Highest desire of the desirers! O Patron of the righteous! O Security of the fearful! O Responder to the supplication of the distressed! O Storehouse of the destitute! O Treasure of the pitiful! O Helper of the help-seeker! O Accomplisher of the needs of the poor and the miserable! O Most Generous of the most generous! O Most Merciful of the merciful! To You is my humble subjection and request, to You my pleading and imploring! I ask You to let me attain the repose of Your good pleasure, and to make constant toward me the favors of Your kindness! Here am I, standing before the gate of Your generosity, opening myself up to the breezes of Your goodness, holding fast to Your strong cord, clinging to Your firm handle!

“My Allah, have mercy upon Your lowly slave of silent tongue and few good works, obligate him through Your plentiful graciousness, shelter him under Your plenteous shade! O Generous, O Beautiful, O Most Merciful of the merciful!”

The Imam, peace be on him, adored His Lord, the Creator of the universe and Giver of life. He set all his hopes on Him, asking Him to accomplish all his affairs.

The Twelfth Whispered Prayer

It is better known as the Whispered Prayer of the Knowers, and it is as follows:

“My Allah, tongues fall shorting of attaining praise of You proper to Your majesty, intellects are incapable of grasping the core of Your beauty, eyes fail before gazing upon the glories of Your face, and You have assigned to Your creatures no way to know You save incapacity to know You!

“My Allah, place us among those within the gardens of whose breasts the trees of yearning for You have taken firm root and the assemblies of whose hearts have been seized by the ardor of Your love! They seek shelter in the nests of mediation, feed upon the gardens of nearness and disclosure, drinks from the pools of love with the cup of gentle favor, and enter into the watering-places of warm affection. The covering has been lifted from their eyes, the darkness of disquiet has been dispelled from their beliefs and their innermost minds, the contention of doubt has been negated from their hearts and their secret thoughts, their breasts have expanded the verification of true knowledge, their aspirations have ascended through precedent good fortune in renunciation, their drinking is sweet from the spring of devotion to good works, their secret thoughts are delicious in the sitting place of intimacy, their minds are secure in the place of terror, their souls are serene through the return to the Lord of the worlds, their spirits have reached certitude through triumph and prosperity, their eyes have been gladdened through gazing upon their Beloved, their settling place has been settled through reaching the request and attaining the expectation, and their commerce has profited through the sale of this world for the next!

My Allah, how agreeable for hearts are the thoughts inspiring Your remembrance, how sweet traveling to You through imagination upon the roads of the unseen worlds, how pleasant the taste of Your love, how delightful the drink of Your nearness! So give us refuge from Your casting out and Your sending far, and place us among the most elect of Your knowers, the most righteous of Your servants, the most truthful of Your obeyers, the most sincere of Your worshipers! O All-mighty, O Majestic, O Generous, O Endower! By Your mercy and kindness, O Most Merciful of the merciful!”

Indeed Imam Zayn al-‘Abidin is the lord of the monotheists and leader of those who know Allah. His worship to Allah was not traditional; rather it resulted from his perfect knowledge of Him, the Most High.

In this whispered prayer the Imam, peace be on him, expressed that tongues fell shorting of attaining praise of Allah proper to His majesty, and intellects were incapable of grasping the core of His beauty. How can the possible being, limited in understanding, encompass the knowledge of the Necessary Being, Who is the Originator of the universe?

The Thirteenth Whispered Prayer

It is better known as the Whispered Prayer of the Rememberers. In it the Imam showed perfect submission to Allah, the Exalted.

“My Allah, were it not incumbent to accept Your command, I would declare You far too exalted for me to remember You, for I remember You in my measure, not in Your measure, and my scope can hardly reach the point where I may be a locus for calling You holy! Among You greatest favors to us is the running of Your remembrance across our tongues and Your permission to us to supplicate You, declare You exalted, and call You holy!

“My Allah, inspire us with Your remembrance alone and in assemblies, by night and day, publicly and secretly, in prosperity and adversity! Make us intimate with silent remembrance, employ us in purified works and effort pleasing to You, and reward us with the full balance.

“My Allah, love-mad hearts are enraptured by You, disparate intellects are brought together by knowing You, hearts find no serenity except in remembering You, souls find no rest except in seeing You. You are the glorified in every place, the worshipped at every time, the found at every moment, the called by every tongue, the magnified in every heart! I pray forgiveness from You for every pleasure but remembering You, every ease but intimacy with You, every happiness but nearness to You, every occupation but obeying You!

“My Allah, You have saidand Your word is trueO you who have faith, remember Allah with much remembrance and glorify Him at dawn and in the evening! You have saidand Your word is true Remember me, and I will remember you! You have commanded us to remember You, and promised us that You will remember us thereby, in order to ennoble, respect, and honor us. Here we are, remembering You as You have commanded us! So accomplish what You have promised, O Remember of the rememberers! O Most Merciful of the merciful!”

We shake all over and become astonished when we recite the whispered prayers of the Imam, peace be on him, for he has given in them a clear, distinguished picture of his pleading to Allah, the Exalted, Who knows everything in the heaven and the earth. This great Imam thought that his great obedience to Allah was not enough, hence he humbly asked Him to accept his worship.

The Fourteenth Whispered Prayer

It is better known as the Whispered Prayer of those who Hold Fast. In it the Imam, peace be on him, showed his holding fast and clinging to Allah, the Exalted:

“O Allah, O Shelter of the shelter-seekers! O Refuge of the refuge-seekers! O Deliverer of the perishing! O Preserver of the pitiful! O Merciful toward the miserable! O Responder to the distressed! O Treasure of the utterly poor! O Mender of the broken! O Haven of the cut off! O Helper of the abased! O Granter of sanctuary to the fearful! O Aider of the troubled! O Fortress of the refugees! If I seek not refuge in Your might, in whom shall I seek refuge? If I seek no shelter in Your power, in whom shall I seek shelter? Sins have made me seek asylum in laying hold on the skirts of Your pardon, offenses have compelled me to beg the opening of the doors of Your forgiveness, evildoing has summoned me to dismount in the courtyard of Your might, fear of Your vengeance has prompted me to clinging to the handhold of Your tenderness! It is not right for him who holds fast to Your cord to be abandoned, nor proper for him who seeks the sanctuary of Your might to be surrendered or disregarded.

“My Allah, empty us not of Your defending, strip us not of Your guarding, and protect us from the roads of destruction, for we are in Your eye and under Your wing! I ask You by those whom You have singled out, Your angels and the righteous among Your creatures, to assign over us a protector through which You will deliver us from destruction, turn aside from us blights, and hide us from the striking of great afflictions, to send down upon us some of Your tranquillity, to wrap our faces in the lights of love for You, to give us haven in Your strong pillar, and to gather us under the wings of Your preservation! By Your clemency and Your mercy, O Most merciful of the merciful!”

In this whispered prayer the Imam, peace be on him, teaches us how to supplicate Allah during hardships and afflictions and how to ask Him in order to accomplish our needs. It is certain that we have no means except pleading to Him sincerely and asking Him politely. We must believe that we have neither force nor strength except in Him, and that all creatures all needy to Him, the Exalted.

The Fifteenth Whispered Prayer

It is better known as the Whispered Prayer of the Abstainers. It is among the Imam’s outstanding whispered prayers.

“My Allah, You have settled us in abode which has dug for us pits of deception, and You have fastened us by the hands of death in the snares of that abode’s treachery! In You we seek asylum from the tricks of its guile, and to You we hold fast, lest we be deluded by the glitter of its ornaments! It destroys its pursuers and ruins its settlers, it is stuffed with blights and loaded with calamities.

“My Allah, induce us to renounce is and keep us safe from it by Your giving success and Your preservation from sin. Strip from us the ropes of opposing You, attend to our affairs through Your good sufficiency, amplify our increase from the boundless plenty of Your mercy, be liberal in our gifts from the overflow of Your grants, plant in our hearts the trees of Your love, complete for us the lights of Your knowledge, give us to taste the sweetness of Your pardon and the pleasure of Your forgiveness, gladden our eyes on the day of meeting You with the vision of You, dislodge the love of this world from our spirits, just as You have done for the righteous, Your selected friends, and for the pious, those whom You have singled out! O Most Merciful of the merciful, O Most Generous of the most generous!”

With this we will end our speech about the whispered prayers of the Imam, peace be on him, to the Great Creator. They represent the spirituality of the Imam and his firm clinging to Allah.

Poetic Whispered Prayers

In the Fourth Sahifa of al-Sajjad, al-Sayyid Husayn al-Nu’ri has ascribed two poetic whispered prayers to Imam Zayn al-‘Abidin, peace be on him. He mentioned that he found them written by a religious scholar.

The First Poetic Whispered Prayer

Do You not hear, O my Hopes, through Your bounty

the supplication of one weak, afflicted, drowning in the

see of grief, sad, and captive in sins and errors?1

I call (You) through pleading every day,

diligent at imploring and supplicating.

All the earth has become narrow before me,

for the people of the earth have not known my medicine.

So help me, surely I seek sanctuary

in Your pardon. O Great! O my Hope!

I have come to You weeping, so have mercy upon my

weeping. My shame of You is more than my errors.

I have a worry, and You are the Remover of my worry.

I have an illness, and You are the Medicine for my

illness.

Hope has woken me, so I said: My Lord, my expectation

is that You accomplish my expectation.

Be kind, my Master, through pardoning me, for I am

(facing) a great affliction.

The Second Poetic Whispered Prayer

To You, O my Lord, I have directed my requests, and

I have come to Your door, O my Lord, along with my requests.

You are knowledgeable of what the mind holds,

O He who knows secrets and hidden things.

Accomplish the requests for me, my Lord, for I see that none

will accomplish my requests but You.

This poem, and in this manner, is like the previous one in the weakness and disorder of meter. I firmly believe that both the poetic whispered prayers have been fabricated against the Imam, peace be on him. For, how are such disorderly lines, which have no sign of literature, ascribed to the Imam, who is the author of al-Sahifa al-Sajjadiya, which is unique in purity and eloquence?

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🍃 Reference 🍃

1. It has been mentioned in this manner. The weakness of composition is manifest in it, so it is impossible that it is attributed to Imam Zayn al-‘Abidin, peace be on him.

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