Encantober - Generational Trauma
Agustin whistled pleasantly to himself as strode across the lawn toward Casita’s front door, his arms piled high with fresh-cut wood for the family hearth. Just then, a lemur sprinted across his path and he tripped spectacularly over the animal, sending the lemur shrieking and the wood flying and his legs up and over his head in a riot of cartoonish mayhem. Mirabel, who’d been following behind a ways up the path, rushed forward in alarm to help him, only to stumble over a dropped log and land squarely across his stomach, filling the air with yelps of pain and confusion.
Camilo leaned back against Casita and crossed his arms, tilting his head toward his sister beside him, who was looking on with wincing horror as Agustin attempted to help his daughter up, only to somehow fall again himself.
“That’s generational trauma,” Camilo muttered with a wise nod. Dolores shook her head at him in disgust, but let out a satisfied hum when Casita lowered an eave to smack her brother upside the head.
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"ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴜɴꜱᴇᴛ ɪꜱ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴛʏ."(𝘟𝘪𝘢𝘰 𝘹 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳)
Warnings: Breaking down, crying.
Summary: Reader reaches her breaking point and Xiao is there to witness it. Pre-established relationship. Hurt/comfort.
Female reader! Happy reading <3
The cold breeze was harsh against her skin, the floor was even more freezing and hard. Her skin was littered with goosebumps as she let out a shaky breath.
Crystalline tears slid down her cheeks, her heart clenching as she sobbed. Expectations were far too high; how could she manage to reach every single one of them? She never wanted to disappoint people, but it becomes inevitable, the glances of pity and disappointment. How could she ever compare to the others? She was only human; she couldn't exist to be perfect. Yet everyone expected her to be with her high levels of skills. Every time she accomplished something great, they only desired more. If she wasn't able to give them what they wished for, they would turn their backs on her.
She tried. Again and again, but it was too hard. They were too demanding; she could only do so much with the level of her talents. She was just another talented person that has been drained from the very bottom. Is this what Xiao thought of her? Incompetent? She bit back a sob. Her own lover? The thought itself was wrenching her heart. He was immortal, he's obviously seen better people, no? People that she couldn't compare to even in the slightest. Did her ever think lowly of her? The tears were flowing like a raging waterfall at this very point, and she pulled her knees to her chest, resting her head on her knees.
A gloved hand tilted up her chin, gentle yet steadily. Honeyed eyes looking into her own, concern embedded with anger swirling in them. He was crouched down in front of her, on one knee. His voice was quiet yet fierce, his face stern yet so very worried.
"Who?"
She looked away. "No one."
Her voice was softer than the clouds, more delicate than a newly bloomed Glaze Lily.
"Then why?" He swiped a tear with his thumb as she gulped.
His gaze was intense, like the flames that enveloped buildings whole. He was patient but he obviously wanted a quick answer, even if he didn't show it.
Her heart got caught up in her throat as she sniffled.
“I- just overwhelmed.” She decided to say gently. “Things.”
He nods, not questioning her further and she was more than glad. She didn’t know how to put what she felt into words.
“How can I…assist?” He asks hesitantly, his voice softer.
Her tongue fumbled in her mouth, unsure if she wanted to bother him but she saw his eyes. His eyes that were filled with pure concern for her.
“Stay with me.”
He had seemed slightly taken aback; his eyes widened slightly. He looked into her teary eyes with a hint of fondness. He had sat down next to her but she could have sworn she saw a ghost of a small smile on his face.
It was subtle yet it was a lot to (Name). She couldn’t help but let the corners of her lips tug into a tiny smile through her tears as they slowed down.
“The sun has begun to set.” He announced, his voice quiet as she looked ahead.
The warm colours seeping into the sky, entangling with the stripes of azure as the blazing sun stared at them. It was pretty. But what really took her breath away was the softness in his eyes as he watched the sun sink slowly. His expression so very peaceful. It was a rare sight to witness. His hair swayed gently with the breeze; his lips slightly parted as he sat cross legged beside her. The sweet orange lighting had reflected on his face so bewitchingly, her thoughts of sadness began to disperse by just being within his presence.
It was as if he radiated warmth, she felt herself magnetising towards him. She steadily leaned her head on his shoulder, a small sigh emitting from her lips as she did so.
In any normal circumstances, he would have frozen but somehow her actions brought more tranquillity to his racing mind. He didn’t move or say a word, but they both knew her actions were welcomed.
“The sunset is pretty.” She said, her voice just over a whisper.
A sense of relief overcame him at the lack of sorrow within her tone although he remained stiller than a rock. He never was the one to feel hesitant but with her, he always remained more careful and a little more considerate. He may be reserved but that never meant he never said what was lingering on his mind. Yet he felt inwardly tentative, unfamiliar with speaking honeyed words. But for her, he wanted to try this once.
He silently took in a short breath before he spoke with his voice gentle. His tone subtly loving towards her.
“Perhaps but you are far more captivating than a mere sunset.”
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I NEEEED people—especially those with unfathomably large platforms???—to start doing just a tiny bit of internal evaluation before they log onto a blue website and say “I don’t want these queer characters to fuck in canon” or “I’d be fine if these characters never kissed again” or whatever.
This is a post about Good Omens and the prospect of Aziraphale and Crowley potentially having sex in season 3. It's a response to a tweet that I'm crossposting, but let it be known the above statement and this topic applies broadly across multiple fandoms too.
But anyway, in regards to Good Omens specifically:
I am seeing this take that essentially boils down to "Canon has now made it clear that these characters want to have sex with each other through subtext (i.e. Aziraphale and the ox), but I don’t want that to reach narrative completion because the idea of them having sex makes me uncomfortable or isn’t my personal preference” and it is, to put it mildly and delicately, A Very Bad Take.
This is rhetorical (and I do not expect or particularly want an answer), but: explain to me how and why queer characters who are unavoidably visibly queer (aka 2 "man-shaped beings") fucking on screen wouldn’t be a net positive, especially when you can indicate how canon has set it up.
Presumably, some people say things like this because ~they want to see them as visibly ace.~ Okay. But by some of these people’s own admission, there IS more evidence in canon now to indicate these characters crave sex with each other (vs arguing otherwise)... yet people would rather that be ignored/erased all for the sake of them feeling comfortable or feeling better about what canon shows or doesn’t show explicitly??
I’m sorry, but—speaking as an ace person, to be clear—your personal preferences for the story shouldn’t / don’t affect anything here. There’s too much in this.
Yeah, I understand on a personal level not having “representation.” I almost never see myself or my unique experiences and identity reflected in stories. And yet, I also understand that that doesn’t change any story or the world in which we live. Things like this are not said in a vacuum.
Any queer characters having sex on screen IS a net positive. It is rare and impactful, and openly calling for or hoping for otherwise when canon points to its potential is a detrimental alliance with purity culture, whether intentionally or accidentally. Because we live in a Goddamn society!
Who knows (other than Neil Gaiman) whether Aziraphale and Crowley ARE going to fuck on international TV. None of us do! But the subtext right now blatantly says they’re starving for it. And you don’t have to like the prospect of that, but honestly? We SHOULD get to see it play out. There’s no truly legitimate reason we shouldn’t ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Whether you "prefer" it or not.
And my ultimate hot take is… if someone balks at the idea of that or doesn’t understand the importance of it, despite even seeing the subtext… then they should perhaps unpack that? Just a thought.
Truly the way fandoms are managing to hit either “subtext doesn’t count :/ ” or “let’s keep it to subtext so it’s ‘open to interpretation’ :) ” nowadays depending on what corner one visits is MADDENING. Whiplash-inducing. Surreal. And so much nonsense you can’t pick where to start.
So! I do genuinely hope I'm not kicking off discourse but I felt this Needed To Be Said (and on more than one site). Because posts like “even if they never kiss again, we’ve won <3 “ make me want to be like…
These characters are YEARNING. Do not doom them and us to it. For once, we can reach for the stars and maybe–against all odds–pull them down. Embrace it!
---
[Update: after more discourse has occurred, I have somewhat elaborated on this further, from the POV of the significance of the queer themes in Good Omens and more specifically how they center illicit pleasure/desire]
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