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#but hes just too fast and punny for them... they cant keep up or they cant relate i think
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hold on wait im unable to Scribble rn but i had this Lights Out interaction in my head and i need to put it somewhere before i forget. Okay so the scene is Howdy, Poppy, Frank, and Wally are all having quiet time in the post office. just vibing.
Howdy: i'm going to say something harsh
Poppy: that's alright. we understand <3
Frank: go ahead, it's better than bottling it up
Howdy:
Howdy, near tears: you're all so boring i think it's actually killing me
Poppy / Frank / Wally: ...
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aliferous-ly · 6 years
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ya girl back at it again with the headcanon splat of ideas, splabbles if you will
(drabbles, splat, sprabbles, yes? no? i’ll see myself out)
FARMER BOY VIRGIL
yknow analogical is just so good so why not duderinos lez go
yes yes this is strange but hear me out
virgil lives on a farm with his grandparents and two cousins
u guys are v creative im sure you could come up with wonderful people to be them, shorts characters or cartoon therapy characters or ocs
he likes gardening mostly while his cousins take care of animals n stuff
but he does have a pet goat named Anx who he loves dearly, he would die for her tbh
side note on Anx she was a v nervous lil kid and he was the only one who managed to calm her down
she liked the smell of his big hoodie and his hands smell like plants 
she lets other people milk her but she heavily heavily prefers virgil, and gets stressed when she doesnt see him for a day or two 
he’s 100% ok with this
AGAIN MORE UNDER THE CUT I JUST KNOW ITS GONNA GET LONG
they go to a farmer’s market every saturday morning, it’s 9am to 2pm
they sell fruits from their orchard and veggies from the garden
originally virgil didn’t go at all, he stayed back to ‘watch the farm’ but he really just. freaked out a lot about dealing with people 
his gparents understood and so did his cousins, plus then his cousins get more pocket change lollll
(they give virgil some because virgil ~basically~ grew all the veggies and some fruits /raspberries mostly/)
eventually virgil goes, one of his cousins convince him bcuz this one stand has honeycomb and he’s literally obsessed with honey and bees, forever sad their farm doesnt have any (one of his cousins are deeply afraid of bees + allergic, and virgil would never get bees w them so scared)
anyway he goes to the farmers market and mostly sits behind their stand in the back
at one point he works up the courage to go to the honey stand which is like. right next stand
there’s so much honey 
so much
they’re all different colors and have different flower labels on them , and there are even some books people can look through, and a tiny brochure almost that has lil facts on bees
he’s in awe he just loves it all so much
anyway he clears his throat and buys some honeycomb from the man behind the counter, who has glasses and a tie and a lil nametag that says “Logan”
Virgil goes back to his stand even though he wants to stay there so bad and read about BEES
he loves BEES
~ fast forward to the next week ~
he goes and its wonderful he buys some acacia honey
to go with his tea
he loves tea
the dude selling it is different tho, he’s wearing sunglasses and a flannel shirt rolled up to the elbows, unbuttoned with a white undershirt virgil’s bidar (get it bisexual gaydar) starts going off 
dude has a nametag “Remy” which sounds p cool to virgil’s deviantart oc ears
anyway he slinks back to his fam’s stand
and they teach him how to sell and he realizes it’s . pretty easy, people buying fresh veggies in a farmer’s market are usually not Super Angry
two boys walk by, one wearing a wicked t-shirt and the other with a black t-shirt and a tie
“how much would you give me if I ate a raw radish” wicked t-shirt boy says
“fifty cents” tie boy replies
“that’s it? the radish costs more than that!”
“I’ll buy the radish then”
he buys the radish and virgil links tie boy to bee boy and blurts out “hey, i know you!” 
logan blinks at him. “yes i work at the bee stand. this is roman, sometimes he works at the gelato stand.”
logan gives the raw radish to roman and he just. chomp
he spits it out like five seconds later and virgil can’t help laughing, esp because logan’s face is so smug
“fifty cents lost. what a waste”
“stfu”
virgil thinks this is hilarious 
~ fast forward again yey ~
time passes and virgil hangs out w bee man logan bcuz logan figured out virgil’s obsession with bees are like his so they just. geek out. over bees
i love them
roman works at the gelato stand sometimes because his sisters and mom usually are there, but when he does work there he sometimes drags his friend patton along and they work together 
virgil had never had gelato before . roman and patton think this is a True Crime,
logan finds out about how virgil wants to take care of bees or see them or literally . something. he’s starved. but he cant because of his cousin
so logan invites virgil to his house. he and his brother remy work the stand , his parents were involved in the start but now they just let their boys do their thing 
they live somewhat in the country? but not on a farm just a house with. a lot of land
logan has a whole system down and virgil is so fascinated with it and 
i cant believe they fall in love over bees 
so many honey puns too bad i suck at puns
someone hmu with a good punny name for this bee au
roman, remy, patton, virgil’s two cousins, and virgil’s grandma all have a betting pool over when they’re getting together. roman and remy have the biggest money in the pot, followed closely by virgil’s gma 
break to breath omfg so many bulletmarks
ok we resume
logan visits virgil one day and virgil’s grandma gives them a cherry pie and tells em to enjoy it in virgil’s tree house thing
it’s like a platform in the trees p much, with branches surrounding it
virgil keeps honey up there because he doesnt want his fam to steal it from him 
but he doesnt remember having spoons
theyre chilling in the tree house, eating cherry pie with spoons directly from the pie tin, being eternal icons
logan picks up one of the honey jars and it’s his honey
virgil mumbles something about how much he loves lavender honey, and logan always has some of it 
logan flushes and says that he keeps one hidden until virgil comes over to his stand, so virgil always had one to buy. if he didnt buy it logan would sneak it back under the counter for next week
now they’re both blushing messes
virgil looks at his spoon, and at the honey, and just. snatch
and he gets a spoonful of honey, not too full so he doesnt accidentally spill because his hands are shaking so bad, and he holds it out to logan, feeling like his heart is about to burst
virgil and logan feel a charge in the air and virgil is so so nervous
logan slowly. slowly leans forward wraps his mouth around the spoonful of honey, pulling away just as gradually
logan feels like he’s going to explode
anyway after logan did That virgil just . squeaked and covered his face with his hands and scarf 
(side headcanon when its not cold enough for sweatshirts he has some cloth to cover his face if he gets embarrassed, because just hands feels too oily for him)
their faces are so red
they leave the treehouse hand in hand and the betting pool is OVER !! they finally did it!!! they got together!!!!!
(virgil’s gma wins the pool)
(they think she planned it out but they have no proof)
(she did)
(100%)
anyway honeybee gays is slaying me in this chillis tonight join me in this pit
MINI BONUS ROYALITY BCUZ THIS IS SO LONG ALREADY
roman’s family makes the gelato themselves
mostly
patton loves giving random flavor suggestions
before they got together there was so much pining, so many pet names but “it’s just platonic!! :’)”
after they got together there’s so many gelato dates
many many pet names , they see who can come up with the most sugary
logan and virgil die basically when they’re around them/go on double dates
relationship competitions , ie who can win at chicken at the pool
all of roman’s sisters love patton so much
(there’s three of them but one of them has a v serious gf so roman counts her as the fourth)
super cute 
#relationshipgoals
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