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yellowocaballero · 2 months

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Anyway.

How many works do you have on AO3? 54. Hm. I don't remember writing 54 fics. That's weird. But I've been posting since 2017 so when you THINK about it 54 fics over 7 years isn't weird at all.

What’s your total AO3 word count? 2.4 million. What's your point.

What fandoms do you write for? A fuckton. I write both things I'm hyperfixated on and for random shit that comes in my head. I was into TMA for like two years so I have the most TMA fic (16), but most of my fandoms are 3-5 fics maximum. There's also a lot of random-ass fics for random-ass fandoms that just jumped in my head. Artemis Fowl, Beetlejuice, Animorphs...demons that overtook me for two weeks or so and never bothered me again.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? The Great Gender Heist (Artemis Fowl, no surprise there.), stay out of trouble (Detroit: Become Human, I reliably forget that one exists and I'm still mystefied as to why so many people read it), meek shall inherit (I'm constantly attempting to forget the Be More Chill phase ever happened), someone will remember us (Batman, fic's not great, am still very fond of that au) and dead or alive (DBH, mediocre). Why the hell are the two Detroit: Become Human fics so popular? I hate DBH so much. I was so angry while writing those.

Do you respond to comments? I am absolutely terrible about responding to comments. I am sorry. I do read and appreciate all of them. It's because I always need to give a dialectical so comments take ages to write. If you do want to hear my thoughts on something, my inbox is your best bet for a way too lengthy response.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Hope, Etc for certain. I try really hard to write bittersweet at worst endings, and even the sad endings in my fics have hope in them. Hope, Etc definitely ends in a better place than where it began. But it's still very sad. I was thinking about a lot of lost loved ones while writing it. Fishhooks and reel to reel also have downer endings but that is because they are LITERALLY Star Wars.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Uhhhh. The ending of Solitaire (and the MLM/WLW hostility series in general) is very sweet. It's meaningful because it demonstrates so much growth from everybody with very little cost. I almost said Go Straight At The Cul De Sac, because it showcases a happier world where horrible historical events were averted, but the ending will always be a little bittersweet because we understand how much Protag sacrificed to create that better world.

Do you get hate on fics? Sometimes people are kind of weird. The worst of it is usually just useless comments, though. I had somebody get pedantic about how briefly mentioning an SUV would be historically inaccurate, and how I should have mentioned a minivan instead - like, did you read that fic and think I was from the suburbs? Do I look like I know what a minivan is? Lol? If I've received any actual more severe stuff I have no idea, since I delete the comment and delete it from my memory. I've never gotten anything too bad. I've been called ablest like three times, which is objectively hilarious.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? If I could write smut I'd be making bank on Kindle Unlimited right now.

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Probably the FE3H/BNHA one I'm writing right now that will never see the light of day. Just kidding. I don't actually think I've posted any real crossovers - I DO write them, I just kind of feel like they're cringe so I never post them. I write a lot of cringe shit that never sees the light of day.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not nearly popular enough for that.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Several people have mentioned wanting to do that, but nope.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Not technically. But I do want to give due honors to all of the friends who are SO instrumental in the building of the AUs, stories, characters, etc, that they've had a huge impact on the story itself. I try to recognize them by name in the fics themselves but my stories would look completely different if it wasn't for my friends. Definitely much worse.

What’s your all time favorite ship? I'll differentiate favorite ships and favorite fictional romances. For ships, it's much less about the ship and more about the role in the story. I tend not to pay a lot of attention to that while writing, but sometimes I get lost in my own sauce and I drive myself a bit nuts. I am very fond of Hanyookim, especially in my own ORV story. For romances? My top ten list of fictional romances is as follows: number one: naturally, Sasunaru -

What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? If it's up on AO3, it's done (with one or two very small exceptions - The Ending of Han Sooyoung epilogue I'll get to you I PROMISE). There's plenty of unfinished docs on my drive that I'll never finish, but that's because I decided that they weren't worth finishing.

What are your writing strengths? Dialogue and characterization. That's always been the case. I'm also pretty funny.

What are your writing weaknesses? Plotting. Action. Having stories that are not entirely dialogue. Where things happen and it's more than just people walking around talking. You know. Real stories -

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Always valid. I remember reading one Hispanic author talking about how he doesn't like italicizing the Spanish in his stories because it's otherizing, and I agreed enough with him that I don't tend to italicize other languages either. Sometimes I do. I try to do it purposefully, and to convey something that can only be conveyed through the extra language. I'll also only do it if I can have a friend who speaks that language write it out for me, since gtranslate sucks and I want to ask the friend how such a thing would actually be said and colloquialize it. I like using ASL in fics, and I am just in general begging people to a) write it like any other language, and b) understand that it's different from other languages and can't be written exactly the same. If your Star Wars fanfiction has so much gratuitous Mando'a that I can't understand anything the clones or Mandos are saying I hate you.

First fandom you wrote for? Batman Beyond. Yes, I have a FFN account somewhere. Yes, I was eleven. Yes, it was Batman Beyond.

Favorite fic you’ve written? The best thing I've written is Twilight on Owl Creek Bridge. Favorite is New Wave. That sucker took two years to write (INSANELY long for me) and it is exactly the story I wanted to write. Stephanie's a character I've been writing since I was 15, and the feeling of writing Stephanie and NAILING her for the very first time was so satisfying.

Tagging @usaigi and uh any other writer mutuals you all know who you are.

#i'll do anything if i was dared to do it. in general.#i remember seeing a post saying that writing cass cain using ASL was ableist and I still very much disagree #my posts #my writing #so often your most popular fics are NOT your best #and that's defo true of me #none of my most popular fics are terrible though. the batman one is definitely the worst #MSI is so old but it holds up alright #id be distressed if i was told my fic was racist or transphobic or smth #ableist? lmfao.

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steddieas-shegoes · 6 months

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✨ Fic Writing Review 2023 ✨

I got tagged by @thefreakandthehair, who is a hero in this fandom and a lovely friend 💖

Words and Fics

663,182 words on ao3 so far (holiday drabbles still to be added for the rest of this month, plus a birthday fic for @t-boyeddie and a server holiday fic)

212 works published on ao3, many more short drabbles on here

4 multi-chapter fics completed (one that turned into a series!)

1 multi-chapter fic in progress (i know, I KNOW, i'm gonna be working on that next!)

Top 10 Fics by Kudos

call me sunshine, send me to space

one little nugget

i thought we were more, why aren't we more?

it led me to you

it brought us here

my turn to save you

if you lose your sight, if you lose your voice, we'll still be here

we got him, always

your tattoo around my neck, yours on my heart

so much skin

My fandom fic events in 2023

@steddiemicrofic - co-mod with @wynnyfryd, plus i write for it more than i really have time for but those can be found here

@steddieholidaydrabbles - mod and i've written for every day of the challenge!

Discord Server gift exchange that has to be a secret until the 31st!

Upcoming Events and Projects for 2024

@steddiesongfics - mod for this monthly challenge starting january that i'm SO excited to work on!

@steddiebang if it happens again! i already have my fic planned, so we'll see if i am patient enough for the bang or if i just do it

continuing the camboy steve series after a lot of people begged for more and then @wormdebut said i had to

More chaptered fics! I have at least three more with a rough outline to work on after i finish the one i'm currently writing

Opening the inbox for requests! I don't have definite dates for this yet, but I'm thinking next summer (May-June) I will open up my inbox for requests again and then work on them as time permits between other projects

A stranger things OC week inspired and encouraged by @steves-strapcollection and the STuad (more info to come sometime in January!)

Rules & Tags below the cut!

Rules: Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some quantitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. Would rather eat glass than do this? Please don’t eat glass but don’t feel like you have to do this either.

Pretty sure most people have done this by now but no pressure tags: @wormdebut @wynnyfryd @messessentialist @scarcrossdlvrs @t-boyeddie @flowercrowngods @vecnuthy @sidekick-hero @legitcookie @griefabyss69 @just-my-latest-hyperfixation and anyone else who wants to share their AO3 wrapped 😂

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #tag game #fics #ao3

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heyhelloitsmilo · 10 months

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Mirror, Mirror.

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moon system x gnc/gender neutral reader

word count: 1225 words

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‼️ this is based on my own experiences being trans/nb, i don't have bottom dysphoria so like, i don't... i don't reference it in this.

❗️ my spanish isn't very good, i'm still learning so a bit of google translate was used! masculine terms used (1)

✨ might be a little ooc its been a hot minute since i've written a fic! i'm also very sad!

⚠️ warnings: dysphoria, self-misgendering, feminine terms used in reference to reader, reference to scars (via top surgery), pre-transition/pre-hrt, show accurate depiction of DID, petnames used (lovingly)

💛 pairings: marc spector x reader, steven grant x reader, jake lockley x reader, moon system x reader (sorry steven isnt as relevant in this one i promise to make it up later heres an IOU)

💫 summary: dysphoria hits you really hard one evening after your shower and the boys get concerned, remembering your coming out (fluff, comfort)

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You gripped the bathroom counter, water dripping from your skull down your skin, glistening in the fluorescent lights, dropping from your wet hair strands. Your eyes were trained on your chest, almost willing the world and the universe to make them stop existing. The subtle whirring of the bathroom fan only made it easier for you to zone out, staring at your body as it slowly dried, imagining a flat chest and scars in place of the things that made you a woman to everyone else.

You didn't even notice the soft knocks on the bathroom door or the quiet, "You a'right in there?" from Steven outside. You just stood there, the bath mat soaked, mind filled with thoughts about how feminine and womanly your body was, skincare routine and hygiene forgotten.

"Hey, if you're not gonna come out, I'm gonna come in there." Marc's words jolted you out of your trance, face whipping to the door, hands grabbing for a towel to cover yourself.

"Wait, wait wait hold on-!"

"Too late." Marc opened the door, looking at you, halfway through covering your body. His eyes darted across your frame, the rest of the bathroom, landing on your eyes. "Good. You're okay. We were getting worried." His voice was gruff, his words revealing how relieved he was. "...Dysphoria get to you?"

You nodded silently, looking away from the man in front of you, fully wrapping yourself in the towel. You felt... ashamed. Ashamed of your body, that is.

Marc and Steven (and by extension, Jake) had known you pre social transition, loved you and dated you before now. And they stayed after the fact, with Jake finally meeting you after then.

You remember when Steven had stayed up all night, researching and reading on transitioning, practicing and mumbling to himself (and the system) to not misgender you. His efforts hadn't been in vain, with all three of them only slipping up a handful of times. And you appreciated them for it.

You remember the day you came out like it was yesterday.

You'd spent the last few weeks in a crisis, researching, hyperfixating about the things you were experiencing, taking 'Are You Gay?' tests online.

---

A knock on the desk jolted you out of your hyperfixation, pulling your attention.

"Hey, baby. About time." Marc pulled up a stool, sitting beside you, taking a quick glance at your laptop. "What's that all about?" He did a vague gesture at your laptop, spying the 'Am I Trans?' quiz open.

"O-oh, nothing, don't worry about it." You quickly closed your tabs, swallowing your saliva. You grimaced at the unconvinced look on Marc's face. "Okay, maybe not nothing."

"Is there something you'd like us to know?"

Marc's words echoed in your ears as you seriously considered his question. You weren't entirely sure how he (let alone Steven) would handle that. But based on his current reaction, he didn't seem all that... surprised? You mean, you'd been a very adamant ally of LGBTQ+ rights, and you'd expressed yourself to potentially be queer, even if you hadn't done any real introspection at that point. But... what if you were faking it? Faking being trans? What if this was all just a phase like so many parents had suggested?

"I mean... maybe. I've been looking into um... potentially being trans." You said softly, the warm light from the lamp gracing yours and Marc's faces. You looked up at Marc, eyes tracing his expression. It didn't look... angry. Or happy. Neutral? Indifferent? Maybe a little confused? His eyes flickered to the window, presumably listening to Steven.

"We love you regardless." Marc spoke finally, leaning in towards you, eye level with you. "We always will." He extended a hand towards you, offering to hold yours. When you put your hand in his, his thumb gently ran across your knuckles, massaging your hand in his. "If you discover that being a man, or being neither a woman or a man, is you, then we'll be right here for you." Marc's voice had a very slight British accent, it seemed Steven was co-conscious, wanting to speak as well.

"I..." You were in a bit of shock. You hadn't really expected anything, but this was simply so warm and comforting that your eyes got misty. "...You really mean that?" You squeezed Marc's (Steven's?) hand gently, tears slowly beginning to well in your eyes.

Marc blinked, his demeanor changing in a split second, nodding quickly. Steven's eyes were soft, his lips curved in a smile. "Really. We always will." His hands held yours so delicately, so lovingly.

"...I think I wanna try using they/them."

"Okay. We can do that for you."

---

Marc walked over, putting his hands on your shoulders, straightening your posture. "Stand up straight. Hold your chin up." You complied, keeping the towel loosely wrapped around your form, looking up at Marc. A soft smile played on Marc's lips, his eyes as he looked at you. "There's my darling. C'mon. Come to bed."

You nodded and hung your towel, walking out of the bathroom with him and into your shared bedroom, getting dressed. Wordlessly, you pulled on a sports bra and a pair of your boxers, as well as one of Marc's shirts (which he scoffed playfully at before gesturing to the bed). You shuffled under the covers, trying to forget about the stretch of elastic cloth around your chest, burying your way into the duvet cover.

"Comfy, cariño?" Jake's voice cut through the silence, getting in bed as well and leaning against the headboard. You nodded, looking up at him from your spot in the blankets, extending your hand towards him, taking his hand in yours. "Bueno." His voice was always softer with you, and though you two usually teased and joked around with each other, he knew better in this moment.

The two of you laid there in bed, Jake stroking your hair as you laid your head in his lap, calloused hands massaging your scalp.

"...Te encuentras mejor?" (Are you feeling better?) Jake asked softly and slowly to allow your mind to process the Spanish, hand twirling your hair between his fingers mindlessly.

You nodded, fiddling with the seams on Jake's pants to keep your hands occupied. "Yeah. Thanks guys." The soft fabric of Jake's sweatpants definitely weren't clothes he would typically wear, but there really wasn't time for an outfit change, not when cuddles were involved. You certainly weren't complaining.

"Hey, amor, lean up a minute so I can lie down." You complied, scooting your body off Jake's lap, watching him shuffle down, lying next to you. The two of you looked into each other's eyes, not speaking, before Jake suddenly scooped your body toward's him, wrapping his arms around your waist. "Gotcha." He fluttered soft kisses to your neck and jawline, chuckling as you giggled and squirmed. The kiss-tickle torment ended after a few long moments, Jake just trying to keep the dysphoria off your mind, Marc and Steven watching the both of you.

You wrapped an arm around Jake's waist, not bothering to finagle your other arm under him to properly hold him. You just relaxed in his arms, his hands against the small of your back, rubbing small circles into you. "This is nice." You sighed softly, nestling your face into Jake's chest.

"It really is, amor."

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masterlist/intro

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lets say i mightve been projecting a little

hope you enjoyed!

- milo 💛

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demetriandelibinaryboyfriends · 9 months

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@ckfemslashnetwork

COBRA KAI SAPPHIC SUMMER WEEK 3 BAREFOOT

***

When the morning came we Were cleaning incense off your Vinyl shelf ‘cause we lost track of time again Laughing with my feet in your lap Like you were my closest friend

“How’d we end up on the floor anyway?” you say “Your roommate’s parents’ cheap-ass screw-top rosé, that’s how” I see you every day now

And I chose you The one I was dancing with In New York LA No shoes Looked up at the sky and it was

The burgundy on my T-shirt when you splashed your wine into me And how the blood rushed into my cheeks So scarlet, it was The mark you saw on my collarbone The rust that grew between telephones The lips I used to call home So scarlet, it was maroon

When the silence came we Were shaking blind and hazy How the hell did we lose sight of us again? Sobbing with your head in your hands Ain’t that the way shit always ends?

You were standing hollow-eyed in the hallway Carnations you had thought were roses, that’s us I feel you no matter what The rubies that I gave up

And I lost you The one I was dancing with In New York LA No shoes Looked up at the sky and it was maroon

The burgundy on my T-shirt when you splashed your wine into me And how the blood rushed into my cheeks So scarlet, it was maroon The mark you saw on my collarbone The rust that grew between telephones The lips I used to call home So scarlet, it was maroon

And I wake with your memory over me That’s a real fucking legacy, legacy And I wake with your memory over me That’s a real fucking legacy to leave

The burgundy on my T-shirt when you splashed your wine into me And how the blood rushed into my cheeks So scarlet it was maroon The mark you saw on my collarbone The rust that grew between telephones The lips I used to call home So scarlet it was maroon

It was maroon It was maroon

***

YOOOOO LOOKIT ME, FINISHING ON TIME FOR ONCE

...well, barely, but still XD

Anyways, I remember when Midnights dropped last year, I was lowkey FLOORED because there were not one, not two, but THREE YasMoon songs on there??? Like maybe I was just a little biased because that was at the very cusp of my life-ruining hyperfixation, but STILL. I was very akjdnshkuefdyurgfuygfeuksy about it for several days straight XD

I've always wanted to write an angsty Maroon fic for these two, and already kinda dipped into it here, here, and here. This is basically an expansion on these! This is kind of a companion piece to my ongoing 10-minute All Too Well YasMoon fic (snippet here, btw!) since it goes into more detail about the dance scene in that one.

Btw!!! The kiss in this fic is 100% what I headcanon their first kiss was <3 It takes place circa October of their freshman year, so well before they started hanging out with Sam in the beginning of S1.

(Yes I do in fact think they started macking on each other within a few weeks of meeting at the beginning of freshman year ajsdnhkufduh Like they both have the confidence and the popularity that I think they'd just dive right into it with the intention of writing it off as "just bestie things" if one or both of them realizes they're not actually gay XD)

Hope Moon's POV isn't too purple prose-y ^^; I kind of struggle to write her sometimes because she seems like the kind of person who's very poetic in how she describes things and people (i.e. "I dreamed I was a drop of dew glistening in the moonlight"), very possibly to the point of being insufferable/cringey XD It can also be tricky to describe how much (I genuinely believe) she loved Yasmine without it coming across as like...idk, corny? Or over the top? But since this is romance fic, that's probably okay maybe? I guess not being that spiritual myself, I sometimes have a hard time incorporating Moon's spirituality into her character in what feels like a genuine and realistic way.

Fic preview under the cut! Y'all are lucky I stopped when I did so you just get the fluffy bits and aren't subjected to the absolute gut punch that the second half is inevitably gonna be XD No particular TWs for this section aside from mentions of (canon-typical) underage drinking and drug use and some descriptions of a make-out session.

As always, moodboard pic credits available upon request :3

@karatecaulfield pspspsps!!! I Marooned them!!!

***

“What the fuck.”

Moon yawned in tired confusion, trying to piece together why Yasmine was so distraught.

“Mmmm. What?”

“We stayed up all fucking night.”

Yasmine nodded at the vast panoramic window, her face outlined in a faint orange glow. It took Moon a moment to realize it wasn’t just from the city lights.

Somewhere along the way, among the smoking and the laughing and the making out and the easy conversations, dawn crept up on them. The tree-covered hillside was bathed in rosy light, yellow porch lamps and streetlights mingling with the first rays of sun.

“Oh my god.” Under the haze of drugs and alcohol and sleep deprivation, Moon felt the alarm catch up to her. “Are we gonna die, Yas?”

“No, idiot.” Yasmine jabbed her shoulder—hard, but still affectionate. As was Yasmine’s way. “You’ll just be kind of tired later. And we can use my espresso machine.”

“Because my dad says if you don’t sleep, you’ll start seeing spirits and demons—”

“Your dad also licks LSD tabs enough to show up the damn tootsie pop owl, Moon.”

Moon snorted, lifting a foot from where it rested on Yasmine’s leg and kicking her lightly in the stomach. The other girl only cackled, emanating the same smug victory as always.

And god was it hot.

“I seriously can’t believe we pulled an all-nighter for no reason.” Yasmine laughed, one hand starting to absentmindedly massage Moon’s feet. “I haven’t pulled an all-nighter since I was like 12.”

Moon frowned. “What were you staying up all night for in middle school?”

“Oh, you know.” Yasmine clicked her tongue. “My mom wouldn’t let me ditch school on my 13th birthday, so I stayed up as a protest. I really didn’t want to like…cross the threshold of finally becoming a teenager while trapped in the shittiest place on earth. So I tried to put it off as long as I could.”

“Did it work?” Moon gave her a coy look.

“Oh, shut up.” Yasmine snickered, shoving her a little harder than before. Moon fell to the carpet in a giggling heap, feet still leaning against Yasmine’s stomach.

It was a strange sort of comfort, she thought. The effortless ease of being with a best friend.

A best friend.

Something Moon hadn’t had for a long while. Possibly not since early elementary school, where she had a bad habit of befriending girls just as strange as her only for them to move away the next year.

But then Yasmine happened. And it seemed that, unless disaster struck, she was there to stay.

“So be straight with me.” She gave Moon a searching look, drowsiness slowing her movements. “Did you secretly—”

“Be straight with you.” Moon cut her off. “You were Frenching me like your life depended on it 4 hours ago, and you want me to be straight with you.”

Yasmine’s entire face flushed. “You know what I mean!”

“Yeah, and you used the funniest possible wording for it.”

“You’re so annoying.”

You think so? Doesn’t look like that from where I’m standing.

Yasmine wasn’t open about fondness. But Moon could always feel it, hovering in the air in a sort of balmy, indescribable energy.

“But real talk.” Yasmine went back to scrutinizing her. “Did you secretly do one of those like…weird Wiccan spells when we burned the incense? To make time speed up or whatever?”

“No.” Moon had to smirk. “You just like hanging out with me. You wasted an entire night on me that you’ll never get back.”

And so Yasmine had. She could tell Moon tomorrow that she never wanted to see her again, and it couldn’t erase the hours they’d spent with their auras interlaced in that beautiful living room. The time their souls spent weaving into one blinding beam, like the first ray of sunrise over the Valley.

Yasmine answered with an eyeroll, but her cheeks were still undeniably red. Moon savored the taste of a rare victory.

“You like hanging out with me, Yasmine Pyne,” she taunted playfully. As though voicing it again would cement it into something more tangible. More permanent.

“Oh, bullshit.” Yasmine scoffed—albeit one devoid of any real disdain. “I invited you over to dance around my house and get crossed with me because I hate you.”

And Moon burst out laughing, because that quick, deadpan wit had to be her favorite thing in the world.

She hoped it would always be a short reach away.

“Speaking of the incense, though!” She sat up, suddenly reaching for a roll of paper towels on the ebony wood coffee table. “We should get back to work.”

They’d made quite a mess earlier, the remains of amber, cedar, jasmine, and copal sprawled across the decorative record shelves that Yasmine’s parents had never stored a single record on. Until about an hour ago, they were diligently cleaning it up.

Or maybe it was 2 hours? Moon wasn’t quite sure when they got sidetracked.

“How’d we even end up down here?” Yasmine glanced at the white carpet below them, which at some point they must have decided was a better seating arrangement than anything else the room had to offer.

“This probably helped.”

Moon plucked the empty rosé bottle from where it had almost rolled under a navy blue couch. The wine really was exceptionally shitty grade, for being from Yasmine’s mother’s padlocked liquor cabinet.

But Yasmine figured out the combination long ago, as well as the fact that the crappier the wine was, the quicker her mother would completely forget it existed.

Yasmine laughed, and Moon didn’t think it would ever stop being addictive. Full, beautiful, showing off dimples that only glowed their brightest when the frosty walls came down.

“We’re ridiculous. Loveseat over there’s worth 4 grand…and yet here we are.” She patted the floor, rolling her eyes.

“Should we move, then?”

“Mmmmm…no. That sounds like a lot of work.”

Yasmine ran thin, delicate fingers down Moon’s leg. Serenity trickled across her body, more cleansing than settling into a warm rose bath.

She leaned back, reclining on the carpet and closing her eyes. For a moment she swore she was floating, suspended in the sunrise with Yasmine backlit by the approaching morning. Both of them one with the sky and the vast infinity beyond.

She had so much to say, but wasn’t sure how to voice any of it without sounding silly.

Does she know she’s my peace? Does she know I never knew what bliss could really be until we entwined ourselves? Does she know I haven’t been this happy in a long time?

Does she know I’m falling in love? Does she know it scares me?

Does she know I still want to hold on as hard as I can?

“God.” She opened her eyes to see Yasmine smiling down at her—the kind of rare, unrestrained affection she could get used to. “You’re the coolest person I know, and I get to see you every day. I’m the luckiest bitch in the world.”

Moon thought she was, too.

***

Their shoes were kicked off at the foyer entrance, forgotten.

Yasmine led Moon around the hall’s velvet centerpiece, twirling with one hand on her friend’s waist and the other on a glass of merlot. The marble floor was cold against Moon’s feet, but her cheeks were burning.

It all felt like an elegant princess ball, straight out of some fairy tale picture book. Well…a princess ball if True Love’s Kiss was completely fucking unattainable, anyways.

She never should’ve agreed to this—“practicing” for the Halloween dance with Yasmine, of all people. Now she was an undignified, blushing, well-on-her-way-to-being-crossed mess.

Not like Yasmine was doing much better for herself.

Already half-drunk, her merlot swayed this way and that as she pulled Moon through the foyer. She giggled and hummed along to the soft pop music drifting from the boombox from the corner, green eyes bloodshot and slowly drifting shut.

Moon knew on some level that disaster was eminent. But the entire scene was so gloriously strange and delightfully ridiculous that all she could do was go along with it.

“We are so dumb.” She sniggered the words in between puffs from a bong, intermittently put down on Yasmine’s rose gold couch.

“Yeah. We’re idiots.” Yasmine erupted into a devilish grin, completely unperturbed. “But you’re having fun, aren’t you?”

Moon playfully blew a puff of smoke into Yasmine’s face. “I guess I am.”

“Tooooold you this was a great idea.”

One more lap around the centerpiece before the night irreversibly shifted.

A tiny misstep, and Yasmine’s leg collided with the velvet arm of the couch. She yelped, toppling forward and sending burgundy sloshing from her wine glass.

Gray-green eyes stretched wide with horror as Moon felt something wet on her. It was as though Yasmine banished her altered state with sheer force of will, now fully cognizant of the unfolding catastrophe.

“Shit. Moon. I’m so sorry.”

Her hand flew from Moon’s waist, covering a pained gasp. Moon surveyed the damage.

It wasn’t that bad. Just a dark red patch on a relatively unimportant floral-printed t-shirt. Nothing a good dry clean couldn’t fix.

But Yasmine was looking at the discolored smudge like Moon had been shot.

“Hey. It’s fine.” Moon rested a hand on her shoulder. “It’ll come out. Promise.”

Yasmine only whimpered, shaking her head. She nearly slammed her glass on the marble, putting it down in a rush so she could use both hands to inspect Moon’s shirt.

“God.” Her face twisted in disgust. “I’m such a moron. I’m sorry. I can’t believe I did that.”

“It’s okay!”

Moon forced a chuckle. Perhaps if she laughed this all off, so could Yas.

She found herself desperately wanting back the Yasmine of a few minutes ago, all giggles and easy smiles and clumsy movements. Too often she was a hot coil, ready on a moment’s notice to surge into a burst of concentrated, destructive energy. Never allowing herself to loosen or cool down.

It’d been nice to finally see her let all that go.

“It just looks like another rose in the pattern.” Moon shrugged. “Or…a carnation, maybe. Probably too dark to be a rose. But the shirt’s kind of a watercolor design anyways, so. Doesn’t look that out-of-place.”

“But I ruined it!” Yasmine ran the fabric through her fingers, staring at the stain like she was trying to will it away. “Now people are gonna see you and think you’re some kind of…I don’t know, sloppy alcoholic loser. I’ve seen my mom’s maid try to get out stains like this, and they’re a bitch.”

“Hey. Yas.” Moon ruffled her hair affectionately. “It’s just a shirt. I can get another one just like it.”

“Yeah, but…I was a big fucking dumbass, and now you have to go to the trouble.” Yasmine stepped back, looking up to meet Moon’s gaze.

Her face was pressed into a deep frown. Moon slid her hand back onto her friend’s shoulder.

“I thought wine would be fun, but it was all so stupid,” Yasmine muttered, eyes darting away.

“It was not!” Moon rolled her eyes. “You’re being overdramatic. What would it take to convince you I’m not mad?”

“Why aren’t you?!” Yasmine practically wailed it. “Like, you’re not showing nearly enough concern over this fashion disaster! Imagine if anyone at school saw you like this. They’d never take you seriously again. Start calling you ‘Moonshine’ or some shit.”

“Yes, but they aren’t here.” Moon shook her head, fond smile tugging at her lips. “You worry too much about things that haven’t even happened yet. Take a deep breath, okay?”

“I still can’t believe I was that stupid.” The other girl’s frown morphed into an embarrassed pout. “Like. Ugh. Practically pouring wine on you like some sort of dumb fuck because I forget where my own fucking couch is. I’m—I’m really sorry. I’ll buy you a new shirt if you want.”

It was strange—this minor thing sending her into near hysterics. She was never one for even small apologies, let alone making a huge, borderline groveling show of them. There was a cognitive dissonance in it—this facet so drastically different from any of the Yasmine Moon had seen.

And yet.

Something about Yasmine’s flustered, self-conscious blubbering, Moon thought, was so beautiful.

And that was about when it hit her.

In a matter of weeks, Yasmine had clawed her way to the top of the school food chain, pulling Moon right along with her. They were practically royalty, hallways clearing out for them to walk through and geeky classmates not even daring to look them in the eye.

Moon could have anyone she wanted now. Half the jocks were constantly ogling her, any one of them more than content to be a trophy on the up-and-coming cheerleader’s arm.

But she wanted Yasmine.

She could have kids from every high school in California vying for her affections—presenting her with gifts and flattery and sensual touches and promises and everything in between—and her choice would be the same every time.

She plucked up her own wine, sitting on a nearby table, and took a long sip. The warmth of the alcohol bubbled through her like a holy elixir—and in a single, elevated moment, she made up her mind.

Yasmine was still mumbling apologies and bemoaning her tiny moment of weakness when Moon cupped her cheeks, pulling them together.

Heat coursed from her purple-painted toenails to her tanned cheeks and everywhere in between. It was like sinking into a hot tub on a cold winter night, jets pressing on her from every direction.

And for what felt like a while, Moon let herself lie suspended in the moment. Not taking in a thing but the dazzling now.

Yasmine tasted like strawberry bubblegum lip gloss, and her mouth was soft and sensual and perfect—like the stars had always aligned for Moon to end up there. Smooth, manicured nails cupped the back of her neck, massaging every runaway hair and every hidden crevice of skin.

The only reason Moon pulled away was to center herself. Make sure she hadn’t done something completely insane.

“Moon.”

Her name was almost inaudible.

Yasmine stared in quiet disbelief, completely motionless. Moon held her breath, waiting for everything to process.

When it did, there was no horror on Yasmine’s face. No disgust. No shame. Not yet, anyways.

She was in awe.

“Why the hell did you stop?”

The sheer aggression of the statement caught Moon off-guard. She scarcely had time to think before Yasmine was holding her chin, yanking her forward and slamming their mouths together.

They pulled apart and crashed together again and again, fire and fervor and sheer, insatiable hunger blazing hotter than every star in the sky. And even tingling with a euphoria that felt eternal, Moon couldn’t help but think this was a long time coming.

She’d always had a feeling her and Yasmine’s auras were destined to interlock—far more than hers had with anyone else’s. And she’d always had a feeling they wanted each other.

It was a tension that hung in the air, coloring the space between them in vivid, pulsating pinks and reds. The ever-present agony of wanting the flavorful candy stored on top shelves, but never sure how to get it. The frustration of entangling themselves when they hugged goodbye and realizing that a brief hold would never be enough.

The way when they touched, they didn’t want to let go.

No, they were always meant to end up that way. And come what may, Moon would not question the wills of fate and the universe.

Especially when it gifted her the most beautiful thing she ever felt.

Sunset light streamed in through elegant bay windows, and the whole foyer glowed like topaz. In between kisses Moon saw it wash over Yasmine, outlining her in peach and orange and finally deep scarlet.

She was brighter than a goddess.

Dusk was pleasantly warm against Moon’s arms. Pure, relieving, freeing. Peaceful as the rhythm of evening crickets and the hum of distant 101 traffic.

The beginning of something beautiful. Not merely the last touch of daylight before the world was taken by darkness.

Then again, for someone named after the brightest thing in a black sky…

It only made sense the most radiant moments of Moon’s life would be on the cusp of nightfall.

When Moon looked out the windows again, the sky was deep red, and the clouds glowed like rubies.

#cksapphicsummer #yasmoon #yasmine x moon #moon x yasmine #aesthetic #moodboard #yasmine cobra kai #moon cobra kai #fanfic #fanfiction #cobra kai #cobra kai season 1 #cobra kai season 2 #cobra kai season 3 #wlw #femslash #lesbian #sapphic

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happylikeasadsong · 6 months

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"About the Blogger" meme

Thank u sm for tag @cruciomione!!

Star Sign(s): Cancer sun, Libra moon and Leo rising (i couldn't explain it i you asked, tho)

Favorite Holidays: Christmas and New Years i love how crazy people go about decorations and seems like there's no end to imagination. Also it's that time of the year i have the most delicious food and share quality time with my family. And New Years's so special bc i get to celebrate with friends and usually the parties are lit.

Last Meal: A strawberry delight crepe as a 'well done' gift from me to me or not dying during my exams and finishing them all, yayyy

Current Favorite Musician: i always find it hard to just mention one, so here goes my top three rn: coco jones, the maine and rbd (latin pop band).

Last Music Listened To: back to life by lawson. this one scratches my brain like no other.

Last Movie Watched: me and one of my closest friends do this list of christmas movies every year bc we love christmas movies, no matter how awful and cringe they are. last night i watched 'exmas' with leighton meester and robbie amell and i was surprised that it wasn't the worst, so it's a win in my book.

Last TV Show Watched: it was this week's episode of fellow travelers. jonathan bailey and matt bomer are breaking my heart in a million little pieces, but i think it worth it?? it's so so so sad and tragic but they do such a great job portraying hawk and skippy's story.

Last Book/Fic Finished: i wanted distract myself from my daily problems so i reread 'remember me, remebering you' by amiera_saphire on ao3 last weekend.

Last Book/Fic Abandoned: i prefer the term 'hiatus'. i have a jatp fic that i never really finished and the thought of it hunts me.

Currently Reading: a very boring article on managerial finance i have to write on by friday (my last assignment of the year, yay!). i hated it, so i came here to get enough endorfins to go back to it.

Last Thing Researched for Art/Writing/Hyperfixation: ships in the 1800's, also dresses of that time period so i can better my shitty description in my period fic. i only had an idea and a dream on that one.

Favorite Online Fandom Memory: uhh i think it was back in the cursed years (2020, eww) and after i watched julie and the phantoms i found some really good people here and on twitter. our day consisted in checking every news outlet about the show and pics, videos about them. also the fics were so incredibly good!! those were fun times.

Favorite Old Fandom You Wish Would Drag You Back In/Have A Resurgence: arrowverse when it was good, maybe? idk but olicity had a choke on me in a concerning way. but then it went bad, so bad, and i suffered through until arrow ended and stopped watching the shows.

Favorite Thing You Enjoy That Never Had an Active or Big "Fandom" but You Wish It Did: felicity. it's mainly bc it's such an old show and bc of that, no one is really talking about it anymore, but it was my shit when i 'discovered' back in college.

Tempting Project You're Trying to Rein In/Don't Have Time For: i'll quote @cruciomione about the multi chapter fics, i feel you! one shots are better for me bc i can just write my idea down.

i've been working on a multi chapter about a second chance/lovers-to-strangers-to-lovers. i love the angst i have panned out in my head lol maybe during the break it could revisit it.

loved doing this!!

tagging some ppl to do this too, only if you want!

@imliterallyjustablackgirl, @ethxocore, @laryssamedeirss, @vacationship, @ruethrills

#about the blogger #asks #i'll finish reading the article now byee

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harleyquinnzelz · 2 years

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Personal Update

Just some life update stuff since I went radio silent for a month.

Okay so I finally geared myself up to post about this here, on my blog, for you guys to see. It’s been weighing heavily on my mind for a few weeks because I went from steadily putting out fresh content to... well, nothing. I was constantly motivated to create, to put out new and fresh edits. I was writing regularly, making actual progress on fics. It felt great. I was in a wonderful mental state, working on writing a fic that I love, with ocs that I adore. Beyond that, I was lucky enough to have multiple outlets where I could gush about these ocs, and more specifically where I was able to have wonderful conversations with friends about all of our ocs. Really, I was in a wonderful mental state, probably the best I had been in for a long time.

Then, on August 14th, after a week spent at my parents’ house dog-sitting, I came home to learn that one of our cats, Guppy, had unexpectedly died literally within 10 minutes of my arriving home. Look, I know I don’t share much personal stuff on this blog. I like to stay pretty private in public posts, but those of you who know me well know that I adore my cats, so coming home to learn that one of them had died, after I had spent a week away was devastating.

I won’t go into too many details here, but a little over a year ago Guppy unexpectedly got outside. We are very good at keeping our cats inside usually but a repairman was working on something in the house and at some point she had slipped outside. By the time we had found her, she was under the house and it took us a while to coax her out. Once we had, we realized at some point she had gotten injured and fractured her jaw. What followed was a series of vet trips to our local emergency clinic, surgery, and a diagnosis of FIP. We were hopeful that it was a false positive in the test as the months went by and Guppy seemed to have fully recovered. For those of you who don’t know, FIP has many neurological side-effects and over the course of a year we noticed no signs that there was anything wrong. We thought for sure that Guppy was going to be just fine, so her sudden passing hit hard. She was only three years old, after all, and an energetic, playful cat. On top of her sudden death was the very real worry that it was some other kind of sickness and that our other cat, Reid, may have gotten infected.

Now, while Guppy was a family cat, Reid is and has always been my cat, brought with me when I moved in with my boyfriend and his family. He’s my best friend, and I love him more than I could put into words. He is also much older than Guppy was so there was a very real fear that I could potentially lose him as well. Thankfully, an emergency check-up with our vet showed that, aside from an asthma diagnosis, Reid is perfectly healthy for his age. Our vet was also kind enough to offer us some insight into the potential cause for Guppy’s sudden passing. As thankful as I am that Reid is okay, with that confirmation came grief over Guppy and, as could be expected, my mental health took a dive. Pair that with falls imminent arrival (seriously guys the seasonal depression gets bad) and just... mentally I was not doing great. And my creative outlets suffered for it.

I know it seems silly to complain about that but seriously, I’m a creative person and having something to focus that creative energy on really help my mental state. On top of that, with no current hyperfixation (again, I know it’s a silly thing to worry about) I felt listless. I had nowhere to focus creative energy, despite desperately wanting to create.

So now it’s a month later and... look, I’m not going to say that I’m feeling better. I still miss Guppy, and I am anticipating the end of summer when the season depression will hit hard, but I am finally getting into the swings of creating again. I don’t know yet what the game plan is, I’m torn between working on either my Scream fic or my Stranger Things fic, but you guys can expect some updated character intros (to the surprise of absolutely nobody I’ve changed a lot of characters face claims) so hopefully that will inspire me to actually write.

A bit of good news to end what is otherwise a very depressing post, we have recently become the temporary home of a mama cat who gave birth to four, that’s right four, adorable kittens, two of which we are planning on keeping for ourselves. They are absolutely precious and have recently begun to walk and I think watching their growth has helped all of us start to process our grief regarding Guppy.

But yeah, that’s what’s going on in my life currently, and this post ended up being far longer than I intended, but I’m going to try to start making content again, and I’m in the process of getting my queue up and going (And if I’ve missed posts I’ve been tagged in over the a last month I am so sorry you guys). I’m also, tentatively, working towards starting to do art commissions for character designs and am in the process of building up a bit of a portfolio of sorts. Basically, I’m trying to be productive and we’ll just have to see how that works. Anyway, I love you guys and wanted to thank any of you who have been patient enough to stick around after a month of exactly 0 content.

#cat talks #personal update #that ended up being waaay to long #so sorry about that

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treesap-blogs · 1 year

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Last of my Trans Rights Readathon reviews!! “The Wicked Bargain” by Gabe Cole Novoa

(Strap in everyone, this is going to be a long one! Not only did I have a lot of thoughts on this, but it was somewhat an excuse for one of my hyperfixs to make a cameo. I don’t think I’ve had a 2K word review since The Dragon’s Promise?!)

Hello, Tumblrians! This wraps up my fifth and final review of my Trans Rights Readathon reads!! This one in particular might’ve been anticipated by y’all, as I’d mentioned both looking forward to it and listening to it on Audible for weeks. This particular review will be covering The Wicked Bargain by Gabe Cole Novoa!

I feel this is the only one with a worthwhile Book Discovery Backstory(or whatever fucking name I’ve used before), to be honest: I haven’t shared on here, despite it being the platform to do so (this is just a bookish account for now and I’ve yet to post art outside of that), but I’ve been an Our Flag Means Death fan for about a year now! I’ve gotten attached to the characters, especially a select few, and consequently, I followed a good chunk of the actors on Instagram. For reference, Jim’s my favorite (although my other top three are Oluwande and Jackie, as a sidenote), so I follow their actor, Vico Ortiz, on Instagram! Turns out they do voiceover work, particularly with audiobook narration(which I found out about in November but only remembered beginning of this year?), and they made a story post in January or so that was day 2 of them recording in the studio the narration for this book. The next day they actually made a video dropping the title of it, and I rushed to go check it out! It’s absolutely delightful, reading a gay pirate book narrated by my favorite from the gay pirate show. (Even if I suck ass with staying focused with audiobooks and as a result also had to have a hard copy on hand lmao. I haven’t listened to one since my seventh grade art teacher played all three audiobooks for The Hunger Games. Sidenote, who decided those were for kids?! They’re terrifying!) Despite that being the main reason I got into the book and knew about it in the first place, somehow I ended up forgetting it was actually real and not just something I’d gaslit myself into believing until a week or two until the release date💀

(No but seriously though I followed Gabe Cole Novoa’s Instagram and regularly commented under his updates, I had grown into a certified actual TWB fan between February and when I actually read it in March😭)

So yeah! The more you know, haha. Sorry about the long rant, and also to my dear friend who may be reading this and who I have ranted about my fictional crushes enough times that he can recognize some of them (including the aforementioned) by just pronoun, based on context alone.

BUT YEAH! So the ultimate question: was this book worth the hype? Not just from me, personally, but for most of Tik Tok and some of the bookish Crew folks who’d caught on to its existence? My final verdict? Yes, yes it was. It was an absolute blast of a book.

Ok, onto my actual review now! This is already plenty long, and we haven’t even talked about the plot.

The Wicked Bargain follows (newly) 16 year-old Mar León De La Rosa, a Latine nonbinary (transmasculine) teen working alongside their father on the ship he’s captaining(and became notorious for), La Catalina. (It’s worth mentioning that this book takes place somewhere in the beginnings of the Golden Age Of Piracy, I think the exact year the story starts is legitimately 1717?) On the night of their sixteenth birthday, however, El Diablo comes to claim their father’s soul because of a deal he made with him when Mar was born, then killing everyone else on La Catalina except for him and Mar. Mar has to find a way to get him back before it’s too late, having to learn to hone their own magical abilities (fire and ice elemental stuff!) if they have any hopes of successfully defeating El Diablo, and finding a new home in the ship, La Ana, that saved them from drowning at sea. (Of course, there’s other notable characters: like my personal favorite, a gender-fluid demonio named Dami with somewhat questionable morals, and the son of La Ana’s captain, Bas, who Mar much to their dismay ends up falling for.)

(Sidenote: premise for this sounds sick as fuck, right?! There’s so much plot going on though that it’s taken me five tries to correctly condense and explain it to my friends. Five! Like..go to the Goodreads page, you’ll see what I mean. I legit needed to take a breather the first time I went ahead and read the blurb back in January ‘cause it’s a mouthful.) (I’ve noticed that the bullet-point explanation/“tagging” format used by a few Bookstagrammers works in their favor this time because they can just use a couple quotes, include “found family”, “magic”, “gay pirates” and “a deal with the devil” and call it a day.)

So as you can tell, plot-wise, this book is packed. There’s some other details and aspects I left out because it would be spoiler-y to include them, which can be overwhelming for a few (especially given on how long it takes for Mar to pick things up and start throwing baddies around, yeah it takes a while for them to actually be comfortable with using their abilities)(this does not work within the time constraints of the deal and every time it would mention weeks going by and the moon phases changing I’d be like “oh no”)! It took a bit of getting used to on my part, but it keeps things moving along and it ties into the swashbuckling part of it all (see: pirates, haha). This does not work in the ending’s favor, however, because it ended very quickly to the point where it felt a little abrupt.

I really liked the cast of characters! (I think ensemble casts are starting to grow on me a bit.) A lot of them were so much fun, the obvious favorite being Dami. While a few of their schemes got…convoluted (especially in the last act, but that was kinda mandatory for it to work), I absolutely ate up their moral ambiguity and their banter with Mar. This book also had a solid villain, too! (And an interesting pick as well, being that it’s..the literal devil lmao.) El Diablo got a kickass introduction, cementing him as a threat and a force to be reckoned with in the story’s plot, and he remained menacing throughout basically the entire book. I enjoyed that a lot, he’s probably one of the more solid YA villains I’ve read about! (Even if I have a few questions about his identity at the end. We don’t have a spoiler section for this review, so I’m keeping things vague at that?) As for the non-villainous/morally gray characters I liked, Bas, although he got a horrible first impression with Mar, remained a fun character to bounce off of them. (“Them” singular, I mean bouncing off of Mar lol.) Eventually, when the romance between Bas and Mar was introduced into the plot, I actually liked it and thought that there was a gradual shift in Mar’s opinion of him rather than a total 180 just to make it work(maybe it was because the drag from listening to this and it taking me four times as long to read, though, that made me think it wasn’t rushed). (LMK what you guys think in the comments!)

To wrap up my discussion on the other characters, Tito got mentioned only a few times I think, but he was one of my favorites too. He was just really sweet, I liked how caring he was towards Mar (especially during the point of the book when they were terrified after being discovered by him) and I appreciate fictional dudes like that. I missed him when Mar and Bas were the centerpieces of the second act and not the La Ana crew as a whole, because it meant there wasn’t any more time to be spent with him :(

Anyhow! Now, Mar themselves. They’re in emotional pain for a lot of the book, and have a sizable amount of trauma attributed to their magic(which is just called the Spanish word for it, magía, here). That prevents them from seeking out solutions related to that. I get it. But damn I was SO annoyed at them for just. Making things drag out?! Literally half of the book would’ve never happened had they just realized they had these super powerful abilities at their disposal!! The one time that Dami tried to get them to use their abilities was kinda convoluted (did the rest of the crew seriously have to be involved, too?!)(and by involved I just mean endangered bro), but their reasoning was understandable imo. When they were frustrated at Mar for their hesitance I was too oh my gods. (Seriously though, when Dami was basically about to pull their hair out because of anger and stress, I was too, and started full-on laughing because it was basically my reaction. I felt seen by that! Sigh.) Anyhow. That issue aside, I loved their characterization as a transmasc non-binary protagonist. I related heavily to their feelings of gender dysphoria, and appreciated as a Spanish learner that the La Catalina crew (and some other folks who knew about Mar not being a boy but non-binary) added the “e” ending to their Spanish when referring to them. Also, little bit of a personal note but I thought it was interesting how they presented really masculine and were alright with “boy” being used as a descriptor for themselves sometimes; a lot of non-binary rep is kept strictly androgynous(well, particularly in television because books are more diverse I noticed), and as a non-binary person who also identifies as gender-fluid and uses male/masculine labels occasionally, this was yet another facet of their gender identity I connected with :).

(Additional thoughts on the nonbinary representation: I appreciated having this be in a story within the historical fiction genre, because although yes, the characters aren’t real, there’s still that acknowledgement that queerness has always been around. It especially helped to have that be told through the Latine lense that Gabe Cole Novoa wrote it in, because in non-European/white cultures, it’s been an integral part of them but got erased by colonialism. Colonization was semi-frequently mentioned in this book, due to Mar’s cultural background, so that was a point of complexity that was brought up along with it. I’m glad that got to be highlighted here, it’s a layer of queer history typically not talked/written about in mainstream narratives because they're mostly white-centered.)

Magic system I’m a little on-the-fence about, to be honest, because we have some idea of how the strain on Mar limits their usage of it and it ties into the plot(I liked the added detail of them having to use their magic every 2 or so weeks because it would build up!), but they also get pretty powerful with little to no training and I wish the book was a bit longer so we could get more time to develop that. And, as the paragraph on Mar’s characterization gave away, we didn’t get a ton of action scenes involving magic! It stilted its development, sadly, and kinda led to the sudden influx of power in the quick ending. (I was expecting Dami to try to train them a little more! I guess that didn’t happen. Maybe it could, in a version of the story where there were a few more pages and the pacing was a little less clunky towards the last act.)

Ok, in conclusion! I loved TWB a lot. (That’s the acronym that Gabe Cole Novoa uses in regards to it, and I picked up on that because it’s fun! It’s like talking about something with a dedicated fandom.) Even though it didn’t get the highest rating of my Trans Rights Readathon books due to the pacing hindering it a little, I think I enjoyed it the most out of all of them (maybe I’m a bit biased though, see the Book Discovery Backstory). Mar, Dami and Bas have stuck with me for weeks after I initially read about them on-page in March, I still have my hold receipt for my library copy(which I had to return, sad face) stored away in a tiny box in my room, and I’ll be reading anything Gabe Cole Novoa publishes from here on out :).

(Also, I tried drawing digitally for my last fanart piece bc I just got a new iPad and it’s easier for me to sketch on this one, for some reason! I hope you’ve enjoyed the addition of my fanart!)

(Edit, August 10, 2023: I removed the second piece of fanart from this post only to include my art of Bas and Mar. My Dami drawing was inaccurate to how they look on the cover art for The Diablo’s Curse, and I felt the need to take it down for that reason.)

Book rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5 stars

(Book content/trigger warnings: Drowning, confinement, grief, gender dysphoria, some instances of underage drinking, semi-frequent mentions of colonization, mention of racial slavery.)

~Paz, signing off!

Trans Rights Readathon Reviews: 5/5

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whencartoonsruletheworld · 3 years

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The Thrilling Saga of Connie paying real life money for the Worst Sonic TV Show

Let’s begin with the simple fact that me and my sister, @birdsareblooming “Cori”, have both been hyperfixating on Sonic the Hedgehog since last March. During this hyperfixation, I was on Sonic Wiki to copy-paste song lyrics onto my stolen mp3s, and I called my sister in and pointed at the template at the bottom.

“What is this Sonic Underground thing?” I asked. “It has one shit billion songs.”

So we clicked on the page to read about it, and each sentence we read was a punch in the gut and this quickly became the funniest thing we’d ever read. Highlights include:

It looks like this:

“Sonic[...] is known to be a prince”

Sonic has two siblings who actually have good characterization but their names are literally just Sonia and Manic. Like. Sonic split into two names. jesus christ

Also Sonic and his siblings all share a voice actor. honestly Jaleel White does his best with it but

“The three siblings possess enchanted medallions that transform not only into musical instruments, but also into weapons.”

“Some fans consider Sonia to be a clone of Amy Rose, minus the attraction Amy feels for Sonic.” YEAH I SURE HOPE IT DOES

“Manic is the most often captured of the siblings” himbo king

Knuckles shows up, and for the first, like, two sentences his description is very similar to the game, and then you get immediately pulverized by “He has a pet Dinosaur called Chomps.”

Literally so many sentences on Sonic Wiki are lowkey salty about this show. The page features lines such as “Sonic Underground bears little relation to the often complex Sonic universe (including previous animated series, as well as Sonic comics and games), and shares only three established characters” and “many of the characters in the Freedom Fighter group that were in Sonic the Hedgehog are completely left out (including Tails).”

“The show met with mostly negative reviews.”

*checks air dates* It only lasted two goddamn months

So after seeing this we thought it was the funniest thing and we showed our older sister, @patema-introverted “North.” To our surprise, our at the time “knew nothing about this sonic bullshit” sister recognized the show. Turns out she’d seen trailers for it as a child and that was her sole exposure to Sonic canon.

We were in quarantine at the time, so we ended up finding it on YouTube and binge-watching it all together as a sibling bonding activity. It was just as hilarious as we thought it would be- some stuff was legitimately good, like the sibling dialogue for instance, but good lord were the character designs ugly, the plot all over the place, and pretty much every song, um, not great. Also there was one episode that we skipped because it got, um, I think “stereotypical” is the nicest word I can use here.

But the point is, we had a jolly good time watching it, and afterwards we binged all the other Sonic shows and bonded as a family.

After quarantine, North and I go back to college. My roommate gets groceries at Walmart, while I get them elsewhere, so while she and North collect food I wander the DVD aisle to look at the cool movies and also dumpster-dive in the bargain bin for Cats (2019). I am also short as fuck, so the top shelf of movies I cannot see, I can only read the labels.

So one day I was browsing the DVDs, and glancing over at the labels for the top shelf. I read over the final one before the shelves end.

And then I stop, do a double take, and have a heart attack, because there is a label that reads “SONIC UNDERGROUND $3.74″

I immediately climb the shelf but there aren’t any DVDs atop the shelf. However, the label is still there. I excitedly tell my sister and roommates, freak out with them a bit, and then give myself a mission statement:

I will buy the $4 Sonic Underground DVD from Walmart

I did not want it as a gift, I did not want to find it online. I wanted to walk into a store, pick up the Worst Sonic Show on DVD, walk it straight to the checkout, and in front of the cashier and God, pay for it with my own money. I did not care if it was the whole series or two episodes; I needed to do this for my own serotonin.

We would go to Walmart about once a week. Every time, I would go to the DVD aisle, and go right to the end of the shelves. I would stare at the label SONIC UNDERGROUND $3.74 and empty space above it and wonder who the fuck was buying this other than me. I would occasionally ask employees if they had any copies in storage. I would build a shrine to Manic in my room. Okay, no I didn’t, but only because my RA would have murdered me.

Christmas break comes, and we have to go home. We have a nice Christmas, and Cori and I infodump at each other about how we would make Sonic Underground a good show (note: we’re both galaxy braining) and also play Bendy and the Ink Machine. Fun times.

When we finally get back to College, it’s late January- long story short we have a very long winter break. My roommate who gets food at Walmart got food without us the first week cause she showed up first, so we take her out to Walmart the first time in the year of our lord 2021 on January 29.

I wander the Valentine’s aisle, immediately grabbing a sequin puppy. I go to the DVDs and see Animaniacs Season One, also grab that.

And then.

There it is.

The Holy Grail.

Above the label SONIC UNDERGROUND $3.74, is one DVD left.

Already I am losing my mind. It’s roughly seven hours of episodes- I couldn’t find an episode list, but I think that’s half the show, for $4! And the cover is amazing.

That’s a png of Sonic from Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog (1993) with a medallion badly photoshopped over it. The medallion is too small.

Manic is shoved into the corner. He doesn’t have his medallion at all.

Sonia isn’t even pictured on the front cover, probably because they realized she was the worst designed of the bunch. I’m not ragging on her though, because she’s still one of the better designed characters of the show. Those background characters make me cry

So you bet your ass I finally paid my hard-earned $4 for this shit. Upon getting home, I discovered that there was even wilder shit with this DVD than I thought.

For starters: the bonus features listed are as follows:

Original Concept Art - did not expect that these character designs were the final draft

Storyboard-to-screen - did not expect they bothered to storyboard this

Music Video Jukebox - that’s cute, they thought we liked the music

Interviews with original screenwriter & executive producer - I fully expect the only questions to be “why.”

On the left of this list are screenshots from the show, where people can finally see Sonia, who we Know™ is a girl because she is pink and has hair and also an actual body shape instead of just circles like her brothers.

But wait... what’s that in the lefthand corner?

That looks like some kind of robot. But it’s not a robot from Sonic Underground! That didn’t appear once. Why is it here?

The mystery continues upon opening the DVD case: inside are advertisements for other collections, including other Sonic DVDs: two volumes of Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog (1993) and the final episodes of Sonic the Hedgehog “SatAM” (1993)

First of all, the first volume of AOSTH has the exact same PNG of Sonic as the Underground Volume 1. Not even trying to hide it. But second... the second volume of AOSTH also has this robot on its cover.

And THIS ROBOT IS ALSO DECORATING THE THIRD DISC IN THE SET?

So you may be asking, who is this robot? Is it from AOSTH or Underground?

IT’S FROM FUCKING SATAM. The one show that doesn’t have it decorating the DVD covers.

Also, not only is it from SatAM, it only appears in one fucking episode. Not a major character! AND IT HAS A DIFFERENT DESIGN ON THE PROMO ART, WITH HAIR AND FANGS.

Why is it showing up everywhere? What is going on?

I have not yet had the opportunity to watch this glorious piece of animation, but I am so glad at the confusion I have felt upon receiving it.

But before I go, I must share with you the best part of this DVD purchase. And it was flipping to the back, scanning the details, and discovering the exact runtime of the episode collection.

Guys, gals, and enby pals, friends and enemies, Nintendo and Sega, the first Volume of Sonic Underground has a runtime of...

420 MINUTES.

Maybe I’m wrong and this IS the best Sonic show.

#sonic underground #sonic the hedgehog #sonic 2020 #walmart #mine #connie writes #story time with tumblr

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appleteeth · 3 years

Text

Bruce Week Fic #6

Sunday (July 25): Grief, Magic

(Warnings for mentions of domestic and child abuse.)

It was funny, being friends with someone who knew magic. Loki had somehow, after everything they had been through, become one of Bruce’s closest confidant on board the spaceship taking them to Earth. First they would merely nod at one-another in quiet respect, then Loki stopped Bruce in the corridor one day to explain how something seemingly innocuous he had done was actually offensive in Asgardian culture and Bruce, though wary he was tricking him, thanked him.

Then Bruce would make a habit of finding Loki in the makeshift dining hall and sitting with him, not exactly striking up conversation but letting him know they could talk, if he wanted to.

A few months into the journey and Loki was spotted laughing loudly at something Bruce had said, and whilst it made Thor a little nervous to see them getting along so well, it was also a relief. They were both part of his Royal Council, after all, so they needed to get along for the sake of his people.

Then, when Bruce moaned to himself about being unable to find what he needed in the cramped medical bay, Loki produced the vial out of thin air and handed it to him.

“That still freaks me out,” Bruce told him before taking the vial tentatively.

“I wouldn’t do it if it didn’t,” he said with a smirk.

“How does it work? Are you pulling items from somewhere else? Are you taught how to use magic or is it instinctual? Could I learn magic or is it an Asgardian thing?”

“No, I was taught by my mother and yes… to an extent. You wouldn’t be able to conjure items or control objects but you can learn basic spells.”

Bruce was excited for barely a second before he frowned. “Are you messing with me again?”

“Bruce, I have come to find you… relatively welcome company. I enjoy our conversations, even if you are a Midgardian.”

“Bit prejudiced, but thank you.”

“So I’m not messing with you,” Loki concluded. “I can give you some basic spells to try that will give you more insight into your being.”

“I, uh, think I’ve had enough insight lately," he said warily.

And Loki smiled, this time without a mischievous glint in his eye.

"What if I were to teach you a spell that helped you in ways you never knew you needed?"

Bruce snuck into the medical bay late into the evening whilst the rest of the ship went to sleep. It was the one place he knew he wouldn't be disturbed, especially as Asgardians were so resilient to injury, they barely came to him with less than a severed limb.

He read through the instructions Loki had written in elaborate cursive, mostly in English but certain words wouldn't translate so he had to work through how to pronounce them before starting. It was oddly pleasant following the instructions step by step, like he was trying out a new recipe, only this was more writing specific phrases in runes than measuring out ingredients.

He had to write the words as naturally as possible, like he had been writing in the language his entire life, recite them outloud and then… go to sleep. Which was easier said than done when he was expecting something miraculous to happen. He crept back into his shared dorm with seven other passengers and lay down, hoping that whatever was supposed to happen would actually help him.

He finally drifted off and there he found himself travelling, not sure what he was facing was a dream or effects of the spell, but welcoming it nonetheless.

He was standing in an old-fashioned kitchen, meticulously clean down to the top of the cabinets where nobody would ever bother to look. Whoever's domain this was, it was so well looked after it could very well be a showroom.

There were a few signs of life, however. There was a small stack of plates ready to be cleaned, a few novelty magnets on the refrigerator, a Captain America action figure on the table…

Bruce stopped, looking at the toy and realising where he was. He had spent so long trying to forget his childhood home he didn't even recognise the kitchen anymore. But he knew that toy like it was imprinted on his mind, having spent many hours clutching it, talking to it, wishing the real Cap was there to save him.

"I'm so sorry I kept you waiting, would you like some water?"

And he spun on his heel to see her. It was so odd to view her now that he was a little taller than her, instead of being small enough to wrap his arms around her legs. She was still as beautiful as the pictures but she wasn't memorialised in his mind like some sort of perfect being. Her sweater was threadbare at the elbows, her hair was a little frizzy (thick curls like his, almost identical in colour) and she had dark circles under her eyes. She also wore glasses, which Bruce had completely forgotten because she took them off for photos.

"Uh…" he didn't know what to say to her.

"You must be parched, here," and Rebecca poured him a glass of water from a pitcher she kept in the fridge. "Piping in new houses is never deep enough to keep water cool, not like the old days."

He was still trying to find words when he realised a vision shouldn't be able to hand him things, and he shouldn't be able to feel the cool water tumbling down his throat.

"So, you wanted to talk about Robbie?"

He nearly choked on the last mouthful and hid it with a loud cough.

"Um, yes," he said, not sure who he was supposed to be in this scenario but going along with it all the same.

His mother nodded and indicated for him to sit down with her at the kitchen table. Again, it felt so strange to be big enough for a chair he used to sit at every day as a kid, his legs swinging and needing a cushion so he could reach the table properly.

"His teacher said he's been excelling," she said proudly but then immediately frowned. "You didn't speak to my husband, did you?"

"No, of course not," and he now knew his role like he had read the script. "Yes, young Br… Robbie has been working really hard and it's clear to see he is clever."

She smiled, but it was juxtaposed by her sad eyes. "You're going to say he should be in a gifted school, aren't you?"

"Uh…"

"Well I'm sorry but he can't. He just… can't." And she sighed tiredly before collecting herself. "I'm sorry, it's just--"

"I know," Bruce said quietly. "You don't have to explain your reasons. I know you would want the best education for him, but sometimes that can't happen."

And he couldn't help himself, she was right there in front of him. He put his hand over hers and squeezed it in comfort.

"Thank you," she said quietly.

"And it's not like kids won't excel as adults just because they missed out on extra tutoring," he continued. "They'll catch up in no time and go on to do great things."

She smiled warmly and Bruce recognised his own features in hers. He never thought he looked like her, always hating how he was the spitting image of his father, but he saw himself in her smile.

"I hope so. Do you know he can name every bird he sees? Even the scientific names. He read about bird watching and within a day he was telling me facts about each one."

Bruce couldn't help but grin, having forgotten about that particular hyperfixation. "Is that so?"

"If he could… that is, if we agreed he could go to a gifted school, I suspect he would get a scholarship for college, maybe even go early."

She looked furious, if just for a moment, letting her guard down enough to show how she really felt. Bruce had never seen her angry; she had hid it well when he was small and already so scared of someone else's anger. She had shown him nothing but smiles and positivity, desperate to make his life as normal as possible.

But he remembered hearing her crying behind the bedroom door, trying to suppress her sobs so she could go read her child a bedtime story like nothing was wrong. The illusion was shattered that day.

"You are doing everything you possibly can for your son. More than everything. You--"

He stopped himself. Was this really a dream or had he really travelled back? What would it mean if he told her?

"I will lay down my life for him," she finished, eyes defiant and full of fury.

He felt his facade fading, no longer able to pretend he wasn't who he really was.

"You're going to save my life. Over and over. Until that bastard kills you for it."

He cried, clutching her hand and unable to look at her. She shouldn't have sacrificed herself for him. She wasn't supposed to be known as just a wife and mother. She was exceptionally bright in her own right, never one to boast but able to keep up with her husband and nudge her son towards harder sums and thicker books. It wasn't her fault the man who told her he loved her had used that love to control her, to make her feel weak and stupid.

Had she escaped that night, she would have done great things.

"I know," she said quietly, tears in her own eyes. "I figured I had a shot that night. He usually stays late at the bar and left the car at home, so I thought I had three hours. But I didn't know he had a meeting the next morning and drank a whole bottle of whiskey walking home instead. I miscalculated."

"It's my fault. You told me to pack but I couldn't find my stupid Captain America toy and…" he wiped his eyes angrily. "I held us up."

Rebecca reached across the table to wipe the trails of tears from his cheeks.

"You were a child," she said. "It can never be your fault. Hey," and she cradled his face in her hands. "It was never your fault."

"It wasn't yours either. None of it," he said defiantly.

She nodded. "Thank you."

The vision was starting to waver, like an old projection flickering as the film ran out. He clutched her hand desperately, wanting to tell her so much more, to tell her he hadn't wasted the gift she gave him that night. That he had excelled despite everything that happened. That he did everything to make her proud.

He felt her hand slowly fading, getting lighter in his hand as it faded away. He managed to tell her he loved her before he awoke back on the ship, his face wet with tears.

The next morning, much to everyone's confusion, Bruce marched straight up to Loki, grabbed him by the shoulder, and hugged him tightly.

#bruceweek #bruceweek2021 #tw: domestic abuse #tw: child abuse #skipped yesterday's prompt because i had nothing #anyway here's something terribly sad for y'all #bruce banner #rebecca banner

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cottoncandyjester · 2 years

Note

AAAAAA LOVE SICK SULLY 🥺🥺

i’d drag my love for this man through hell and back (kdbsskbds more content cuz im hyperfixating on these ocs)

tw: mentions of poison

— — — —

“Excuse me?”

A tall, scrawny looking man was facing a group of people, they were all seated in a bunch of sofas, all of them stopped what they were doing to look at him.

“I’ll say it one more time, there has been a change of plans. All of your missions have been successful until now, but since you have completed all of them, we no longer need you.”

The group of people started all to talk over each other, shouting at the man, who couldn’t care less and stared at them with boredom.

“Silence!” A voice rose from the group, making all of them fall quiet, a tall man with short black hair had spoken, he stood up and directed himself to the man “We have a contract, in said contract it is written that we would perform temporary jobs for you in exchange of you covering for us on our crimes and the illegal doing that might be done is those jobs.”

“That is correct.” The man opened a cupboard, taking out a piece of paper, two signatures in it and written in small letters. “But after this mission, I have been able to reach the top, so i won’t be in need of any more jobs that might suit you. Your crimes have just been put aside, but police or other organizations could be able to take them out and search for culprits any minute now. You can complain all you want but I want you packing your things and leaving before next week.”

He finished it off with tearing the paper in half and signaling the security beside him to lead these people out of the building. When they got out of the office, away from the man’s gaze, the black haired man turned around quickly and punched the security guard on the throat, knocking him out cold.

“THAT MOTHERFUCKER!” He started screaming. “ Who does he think he is?! We had a deal!

The others just watched him shout, already used to his angry outbursts. Bruno had two moods, he was either a respectful businessman who could probably be in change of three countries at the same time or he could be an angry child that would get what they want at the grocery store.

“What did he mean by being at the top?” A pink haired girl spoke up, gaining the teams attention. “He isn’t the greatest leader in his field, so he would probably mean that he got enough power to make himself feel proud.”

They all nodded, but weren’t sure about what they should do now.

“Good thinking Nova. Brooke,” Bruno called out the the girl “who were the men that we encountered in our last mission? If Mr. Jackass wanted us to go after them and stop their job that must mean something.”

“Oof, I think I remember hearing him talk about how they were getting in the way of his power of something along the lines.” The girl had been lost in thought until she heard her name being said.

“All right team, I think were are going to pay our newly found friends a surprise visit. Time to teach that bitch that after going up the only way is now going down. ”

They all marched to their vehicles outside the building, but a young man grabbed the other by the shoulder.

“What?” The man who was stopped seemed to be lost in his own mind, snapping at the feeling of Riot’s hand.

“Whad’ya mean ‘what’? You’ve been daydreaming since we came back from the train the other day, all good?” He knew that Ezra was serious about his job, not like him or Brooke, who took it a little bit with fun and didn’t mind getting severely hurt during it.

“Oh no,” he brushed it off quickly “it’s nothing really, all cool”.

Lie. Since the mission he couldn’t have stopped thinking about the cutie pie he met in the train. He have had zero hesitation in shooting straight at him seconds after opening that door, and even when he was poisoned with the strongest drug they could have found, he still had the strength to get up and try to stop him from ruining his job. Of course Ezra didn’t have a chance to admiring his features in the middle of the fight, although he wont deny that his abilities with the gun were pretty hot. But in a short moment of having him in front of him, he couldn’t resist giving this fine man a sweet kiss, just in case he died and wouldn’t get the chance to ask him properly for one. He hid his blushing face in his hands, he was always bold when he made moves on people, hinting them that he wanted something, but his man made him feel flustered for the first time on a long long time.

— — — —

“Dear mafia (?),

We have decided to contact you in the hopes of making buddy business, we have info that we got that we believe can make us agree to get to a common objective; kill someon eliminate an enemy of both of us. Tomorrow on the abandoned factory @ 5 PM.

the guys of the train.”

Making a letter to send to the mafia gang was indeed a great idea, but letting Riot write it wasn’t the brightest one.

Have I mentioned how much I adore you and your characters? Cause boy do I adore them so much✨

“What should we do?” Antonio asked while calmly eating ice cream that Luis was feeding him, despite his cold attitude he had a soft spot for Antonio..one that wasn’t questioned in the slightest. Ernesto gave Dante a curious gaze, a gaze that made Dante gulp nervously as he gazed at the others feeling all eyes on him.

Ernesto trusted him enough to give orders, the pressure made Dante sweat “We meet up with them of course, but we don’t lower our guard. Things go well we can have a potential ally” dante spoke in a commanding tone before glancing at Ernesto who simply smiled and patted dante on the back.

“You heard the man, we have a busy day to prepare for” he cooed out with a smirk. Everyone’s bubbling excitement about the meeting made sully worry, a worry that wouldn’t stop even as he sat in the car outside the factory with the others who seemed to be packing enough weapons to kill an army. His mind couldn’t escape the thoughts of romance and his so called lover.

“Do you think he would enjoy flowers? Some men despise flowers but I think giving your lover some flowers is truly romantic. Oh I can see it now, we’ll take a romantic Caribbean vacation where I’ll spoil him in love! Ah, to be in love fills my heart with so much emotions! Be will my racing heart!” As sully ranted he grew more and more excited, dramatically clutching his chest with one hand while the other ran through his messy hair.

“You’re never going to see him again so it doesn’t even matter, but if you are giving out love I’m sure I could use some~” fritz cooed out in a sly tone, his clearly lewd response earning a scoff from sully “I’m not giving up so easily! Love always finds a way!” He hissed out stubbornly.

“Alright you two knock it off, and make sure your weapons aren’t noticeable” Dante hissed out before hopping out the car but immediately stopped and bowed his head slightly when Ernesto told the lead, no one dared to walk infront of him or even beside him.

As sully walked towards the building entrance Antonio joined his side “your talk of love is going to get you killed one day” he said softly yet bluntly, his cold stare giving sully shivers “why would you say t-” he was cut off by the noise of the factory door being opened.

“It’s showtime boys, make sure to play nice” Ernesto cooed out as he took out a cigar and lit it, the atmosphere growing tense as they stepped inside.

#yandere imagines #yandere ocs #yandere #mafia oc #Dante’s gang #sully #oc interaction

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gondalsqueen · 3 years

Text

Fic Writer Review

Tagged by @findswoman. Thanks, ma’am! I hadn’t stopped to look at the stats of my writing in...ever. This was enlightening.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

48 currently

2. What’s your total AO3 wordcount?

366,990, yikes!

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Uhm...let’s count. Star Trek: The Next Generation when I was 10 (and I have another one for that fandom in the works). X-men in middle school. Xena: Warrior Princess, The Scarlet Pimpernel, Star Wars (Original Trilogy stuff), Star Wars: Rebels, and Castlevania. That’s seven, I guess?

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Predictably: Close Only Counts (600) (earlyish kanera) En Route (541) (Han/Leia) Next Season (503) (Hera-centric, post-Rebels) Lean (407) (Ghost crew) Continued (297) (Rebels fix-it fic)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

The only reason I write is to talk about these fandoms with people, so yes, and I am not above begging for comments (that was the question, right?). If I haven’t responded to yours it’s because I’ve overlooked it in the day-to-day, and you should poke me and tell me so!

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Probably The First Night, which was written in the aftermath of “Jedi Night,” before the series even ended. Most of my stories have plenty of angst in the middle, but little at the end.

7. Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I have not written crossovers. Hyperfixation does not allow me to think of more than one fandom at the same time.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

No, which I take as a testament to how lovely the Rebels fandom is.

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Ahahaha! I mean...in my defense... not ALL my stories are smut.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don’t think so. Guys? No, right?

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not for A03, but the childhood fanfics were ALL co-written. We had these spiral notebooks we’d carry around and pass off to each other in the halls between classes. Ah, middle school. I also lived that roleplaying life for many years, though I’m not counting those as stories.

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

kanera, oh you came and you gave without taking... Runners-up: Trevor and Sypha (Castlevania) John and Aeryn (Farscape) (though I don’t write them because I’m not sure fanfiction can improve upon the show, which is already...pretty much fanfiction)

14. What’s a wip that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Uhm... I think I will finish all of my works in progress eventually, barring unforeseen disaster. None of them feels abandoned. I would most like to get working on Fault Lines (the big Castlevania fic that’s barely started), and I have a gorgeous Picard story that I wrote 4,000 words for in three hours and then haven’t had a chance to go back to again.

15. What are your writing strengths?

characterization and dialogue, I think. Probably smut? I’m not sure that’s something to brag about.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Plot? What plot? Also pacing/phrasing at the sentence level, which is sometimes okay but sometimes wonky.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I say if it feels good, do it.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Probably Star Trek: The Next Generation, in terms of things that I actually wrote down.

19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I don’t knooooow! Uhm... Next Season is not my best writing (it was written at breakneck speed and needs a heavy edit), but it really hits the spot sometimes. Feels real. (Side note, after I dedicated a story to my husband to troll him one time, my son said, “Hey! Would you ever write a story for me?” and my husband told him, “Buddy, Mommy wrote 40,000 words for you.” He doesn’t get to SEE this story, of course.) We also lost multiple men in our family to suicide, unexpectedly and horrifically, just before I wrote this story. It exploded everybody’s sense of reality in some ways I don’t think we’ll ever recover from. So...there’s a lot of real energy in this one. I think Scenes from Yavin IV is underrated. Fade to Red is smutty garbage in a lot of ways, but it’s been a huge investment, and it’s really made me think about how and why relationships work--and writing Kanan and Hera at the same time as Trevor and Sypha has made it clear that there are REALLY DIFFERENT ways of having healthy relationships, so that’s cool. Fade to Red has been a massive amount of work for a modest achievement, and I both resent it and am attached to it for that reason. It will end in a 8,000 word blowout next week, and I think I’ll be sad to see it done. I think Mastery’s doing some interesting things, though it’s a bit retconned now.

Tagging: @veritascara, @worriedaboutmyfern, @spaceasianmillennial, @amilynh, if you’re interested

#fanfiction meta #fanfiction stats #a03 stats

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pluviophile-bookworm · 3 years

Text

HSMTMTS 2x9: so dreaded, so exciting, 'Sword!' (yeah, I went there, I've been thinking about this scene - you know the one - since yesterday for some reason)

After two computer malfunctions and a very tough, very sleepless night, here I am with a third attempt to write this post. The universe is against me today. Is Mercury in retrograde or something? Ugh, I just want to get this over with already. And I haven't even managed to see half the episode yet. You better like this cursed post because it's taken me two hours at this point, and will probably take another to finish - and that is if nothing goes wrong this time. Please bear with me. This is my reaction to HSMTMTS 2x9, take 3. Let's hope and pray it's the last one.

I'm normally [unpopular opinion alert] a very spoiler-positive person (it's the combination of anxiety and ADHD and a bunch of other stuff, I suppose), but for this one I've been refraining from looking at the tag all morning, so by now I'm simply bursting with impatience. But before we dive in, I need to get some stuff off my chest.

Some pre-watch thoughts and feelings (let's see how well they will have aged by the end of the episode):

Seriously, what is with whoever writes this show? I know it's impossible, but I feel like they've been toying with my emotions specifically all season. Like:

Ah, so you were a Rini shipper last season? Great, now we'll make them obnoxious and borderline toxic to the point where you actually want them to break up, but then their old chemistry will be back just for the breakup scene so that you can cry your eyes out over the one couple you couldn't stand - even though you can't seem to relate to a single song from Sour, we'll make you feel like you do for a hot second. At least it will remind you that you loved Ricky.

So you say Redlyn own your heart and soul? Great, we'll make you dread something going wrong with them for a week straight, and mess up your sleep schedule beyond repair over it. You're welcome!

We heard you said Rodfini give you life? Perfect, how about a big Seblos fight? And would you like a side of questioning your choice to stan Carlos with that? Because what is life without a little anxiety, a bit of doubt of your ability to read people, and a pinch of existential dread, right?

Ah, so you claimed not to ship Portwell romantically, is that right? Brilliant, we'll make you ship them and then we'll use that to torture you, too.

You've been excited about ABF and Asher Angel guest-starring ever since they were announced? Magnificent! We'll make you hate ABF's character to the point where you can't even look at him, and we'll make you call him names you thought yourself incapable of uttering. And as for Asher, you'll be left waiting for him until the last third of the season, and then you'll dread the possibility of hating his character, too. Do you love us yet?

Oof! Right then, I've got that out of my system. Time to dive in.

Miss Jenn playing around with the backgrounds is, like, 90% of the people who had online school this year, and honestly, I love that for her.

Wait, why is Nini first on this call? Are they going through with the Rose thing? Cos like, the song is nice and all (and, might I add, much more to my taste than nearly all of Sour, don't @ me), but if they use it, it will get them disqualified. They’ve been told that! Gosh, please let me be wrong about this.

We get it, Carlito, rich and fancy and over-the-top is kind of your thing, but have you stopped for a second to think about how others will feel about this? Especially Seb, whom you claim to care about. Seriously, though, I love Carlos and would not hesitate to die for him, but I’m getting the feeling that, unlike my other favourite (you know the one), he wouldn’t do the same for me. Oh well, he’ll figure it out. He’s just a kid. Give him time.

Wait, Milky White? Is that an Into the Woods reference I smell? Cool! If I had a cow, I’d totally name her Milky White (or Gertrude, but don’t ask me why). I just hope they don’t have to, like, take her to the market and exchange her for magic beans, if you catch my drift.

Ahhhhh, Caswell cousins content! We love to see it!

‘You guys are watching, like, old old movies’ WTH, Nini (or is it Nina)? Scary Movie is literally younger than me. But what do you know about it, you 21st-century baby! Ugh, I don’t know why I’m being so hostile today... must be the lack of sleep. Hope it doesn’t influence my reactions to the episode so dramatically as to make me forget how much I love this series. Because I do.

Yay! Big Red is here! I can finally smile. And did Ash just say they’re soulmates? Because yes they are! Ahhh my heart is going to explode.

‘Nini, have you heard from [Ricky]?’ Yikes, awkward... but of course, Big Red can be counted on to save the day here, too.

Ok, so that was a cool cold open. Time for some nice in-person scenes, though. I did not spend all of three semesters doing online school just to have the characters of my favourite series do the same.

Wow, Gina is really embracing that French accent thing! And I really don’t want to think about, erm, ‘Napoleon over here’ right now, but I really think the fact that she’s doing it better than him will be another piece of evidence towards my theory of fake-French!Antoine... ugh, I said his name. Oh well. Back to Gina. Too bad the French thing didn’t work out for her.

Ahhhh, Portwell with Ash in the background! And Ash is going to paint EJ’s nails! I feel like he’s going to end up loving that, despite what he says right now. But seriously, I just love how comfortable these two are with each other. Can you blame me now for shipping them as friends? Well, I mean, it’s obvious they will be more than friends, and somehow, despite the amatonormativity of it all, I’m here for it.

Wait, was that Asher? That was Asher, I’m 100% sure of it. And Gina said ‘a sign’ and then looked at him, even from the back... what am I supposed to think and feel here? I’m confused. Moving on.

Ahh, poor Ricky being a burrito... good thing that breakup scene last time reminded me that I love him, because the entirety of the season before that was very good at making me forget that.

Wait, did she say ‘the Bean’? As in, that Bean? The infamous Bean? LOL.

‘So the only time you two talk to each other is to gossip about me’ Boy, did I feel that. I once got my hands on my dad’s mobile and I... kind of went through his texts with mum. Yep, all about me and my brother. At this point I feel like they’re only together because of us. But this is getting too personal. I’m here about the episode, not to rant about my family. Moving on.

Yikes, looks like Nini’s got writer’s block all over again. Am I supposed to feel sorry for her? Because I kind of don’t. I mean, no hate towards her, none at all, but that entire scene just felt awkward and unnecessary. And not just because it’s her first time going live. That I can understand. What I don’t understand is why the writers can’t seem to do anything creative and interesting with Nini. Olivia is being wasted there. Idk, that’s just how I feel. Again, no hate.

Ahhhhh it’s Asher! And well, he’s not Jonah, but I kind of really like him as Jack. I wonder if that will last.

So is it just me, or is anyone else not quite sure how to feel about Ricky’s mum? I mean, their interactions seem kind of awkward and strained, but that’s how it’s supposed to be given their recent history, and yet something just doesn’t sit quite right with me.

‘You there, Muse? It’s me, Nini!’ Ah, so it’s Nini again? I didn’t get the memo. Gosh, this episode is kind of really underwhelming. The most exciting thing so far (but not nearly as exciting in practice as it was in theory) – Asher and Sofia’s on-screen reunion. The second most exciting thing? The thought of Ash painting EJ’s nails. Everything else? Kind of ‘whatever’. Is this what I tossed and turned about all night? Totally not worth it. This episode better get, like, 300% better right this instant. It’s just not worth all the frustration and excitement and dread so far.

Looks like my prayers from just now have been heard! That improv scene was hilarious! Guess it was lucky that Miss Jenn had them do improv before this moment. But I need to know more of Jack’s backstory now.

Ok, so that was awkward! So Kourtney is talking to Howie again, I guess. And I guess I know now what Carlos did that was all public and no subtle. Still, what’s wrong with posting photos from your holiday? Guess I don’t exactly know yet what Carlos did to piss the others off so much.

Great, now I’m tempted to google butterfly faces. Good thing I’m not eating anymore. *** Ughhhhh this was a mistake! Please don’t ever look a butterfly in the face if you want to stay sane. Don’t be like me.

Ahhh the Duke sweater! ‘Is that your boyfriend’s?’ Well, not quite yet, it’s not... *screams in Portwell*

Oh, now we’re talking! But seriously, Ricky? The ‘my friends think’ card? Why don’t you just say ‘I think’? It’s clearly something you’ve thought about a lot. I feel like I’m going to love this scene or cry over it or both.

Ooh, therapy. It’s not just... basically the entire fandom... who says it now. Please tell me that means Ricky will be going to therapy at some point. Says the girl who is currently firmly refusing to go to therapy in favour of hyperfixating on HSMTMTS and getting back into the good old practice of having imaginary friends... yeah, I’m one to talk.

My, my, my! Seb has really had it now. I mean, it was about time, but... not quite like this. My heart is starting to do some weird stuff, I can feel it. I might need to lie down.

Ok, so as much as I envy North High for getting to see so many shows on BWay – basically living out my dream – stalking East High on Instagram and being shady about them taking a well-deserved break... just goes beyond all limits. I mean, if you’re so into Broadway shows, you should know as well as I do what happened the last time a certain founding father did not take a break. Maybe you’re the ones in need of a break here.

Nini on the call with the Caswell cousins, though... ‘I’m obsessed with both of you’ – first relatable thing she’s said or done all season. And EJ playing with old toys is pure gold.

Oh, so Jack’s dad is a pilot. Makes sense, I guess. I’m kind of intrigued by this guy. Just as long as he doesn’t try to come between Portwell before they’ve had the chance to happen, you know...

Ashlyn might need to stop swooning over Nini’s songwriting or Big Red might get jealous... I mean, I would not have pinned him as the jealous type before 2x7, but ever since then... I guess insecure + dating a girl like Ash = the jealous type. And although that looks good on him, I’d bet anything it doesn’t feel particularly pleasant on his side. So... wait, why am I talking about Big Red? He hasn’t even got anything to do with the scene at hand. But then again, there’s been so little Big Red content in this episode that I seem to be trying to make up for it. Still. Stay focused.

Ooh, so Big Red did edit that video! Is there anything my boy can’t do? Ok, now I feel like he’s even more criminally underappreciated than he was before. But let’s look at the video. I’m curious to see the whole thing because that sneak peek from yesterday simply hasn’t been enough.

That was... really, really cool! I love how they took the ‘when they go low, we go high’ line from last time and run with it. Now if only they were putting as much effort into BATB... North High wouldn’t know what hit them.

Hmmmm... I guess Gina and Jack could be what I originally wanted Portwell to be... really cool friends. Unless it’s one of those ‘airport magic’ things. Oh well. It probably is. Was that all we’re seeing of Asher here? I did not wait 2/3 of the season for this. Though it was nice.

Ooh, Ricky’s solo song... why is there more Rini chemistry in this song than there was in all the season? Not counting the breakup scene, of course. Also, I feel like it’s just as much about him and his mum as it is about Nini. Some say music is the best therapy. I think they might be right. And no, I’m not crying. You are.

The granola bar, though... this episode might have been very underwhelming in the first half, but... it delivered in the Portwell front, and the music was *chef’s kiss*, so I’m willing to let it slide that the advertised Seblos ‘big fight’ was not touched upon nearly enough. Maybe next week...

Ok, now that we’re done watching the episode, let’s see how my feelings from the beginning have aged:

The Rini breakup: apparently, along with reminding me that I love Ricky, it has rendered me unable to look at Nini. What’s up with that? If this is some sort of tactic along the lines of ‘Olivia might be leaving the show so we’re making you hate her character so that you won’t miss her’, it’s not really working. Because I don’t want to hate Nini. Believe me, I don’t.

Redlyn: ok, so there’s nothing wrong with them whatsoever - we even got a ‘soulmates’, which I loved - but first they’re being swept under the rug, and then the antis come at us with that ‘their relationship is underdeveloped’ nonsense. Individually, though, I liked them in this episode (even if there was a significant shortage of Big Red), and Ashlyn collaborating with Nini again was cool, but... what I really wanted to see was her painting EJ’s nails. Did she even get the chance to actually do it? Maybe next week.

Seblos: I’m still failing to understand exactly what Seb thinks Carlos did wrong (please enlighten me if you did catch that, I’m kind of slow), but he (Seb) does have reasons to be mad at him (Carlos)... and at other people, too. Still, if you want to have a fight between two people in a relationship, you could do much better than whatever this episode was. Maybe next week. I notice I’m saying that a lot. Guess I’m putting a lot of hopes on 2x10. I just pray it doesn’t disappoint.

Portwell: boy, am I happy that my frustration on this front did not age well! What I mean is, apparently they’ve decided to bless us, not torture us for once. Even a rather disappointing episode like this one had to have some sort of silver lining. And Portwell is it.

Asher as Jack: well, luckily I didn’t hate him, but... it’s kind of the opposite problem. I loved him and now they’re taking him away from me. Guess I just can’t win here. Oh well. At least he didn’t have the screen time to get in between Portwell...

All in all: 2x10, my hopes and prayers are with you!

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toxicpineapple · 3 years

Text

Well, this year is coming to a close!!! Here are my favourite writings from the year 2020 :)

---

January:

“A penchant for looking at rocks”, the first ever Amamota fic I wrote (it’s been a long fucking year, haha) and another 5+1 things fic! Buckle down LGBTQ+ community because there are a lot of these, in fact I’m pretty sure I started off last year’s compilation with a 5+1 things fic? Anyway, this one was the five times Kaito helps Rantaro when he’s hurt, plus the one time Rantaro helps Kaito. I love me some good whump and I felt I had to choose this one because it’s one of my favourites just generally speaking.

Content Warnings: Injuries, tending to injuries, asthma attacks.

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February:

“Ibuki Mioda’s Kisses”, which I wrote for day fourteen of Femslash February. Boy, if I thought I wrote a lot in January, just take a moment to peek at February 2020… I was churning out a fic daily for the entire month. I don’t regret it though! I got to write a lot of characters who I haven’t written a lot, and explore a whole lot of prompts, and if I can remove my head from my ass I fully intend on participating in Femslash February again next year. Ibuki Mioda’s Kisses is the piece I wrote for Valentine’s Day, which was my two year anniversary with my boyfriend, so I wanted to write something special commemorating our relationship. No idea how I’m going to top that in 2021, but uh, check out the fic! It’s cute and I like to think it’s clever.

Content Warnings: The Mortifying Ideal Of Discovering Oneself, secondhand embarrassment, bad kisses. (I mean in the sense that texturally they’re just, unpleasant. It’s about asexuality, alright.)

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March:

“Adventure”, which I wrote for day five of Amasai Week, which was the first ship week I hosted and participated in in 2020! This was the longest piece that I wrote, and my favourite, just because I really really love the childhood friends trope, and I liked writing Shuichi and Rantaro as children, adventuring together and just having a fantastic time. Amasai Week actually took place while one of my parrots stayed overnight at the emergency vet after a fight with another one, so it was a pretty stressful time for me, but I’m proud of myself for completing it and looking forward to hosting Amasai Week again in 2020! Stay tuned, we’ve almost got the prompts worked out.

Content Warnings: None.

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April:

“A couple of ghosts”, which is the fic I wrote for Kaito’s birthday! I see we’ve reached the part of 2020 where I met my abuser, which, yaaaaay, but also, I’m still really proud of this fic, despite how much I kind of associate it with him now! It’s the fic where I said, y’know what, no, we can’t have nice things, and gave Kaito a horrible, traumatic reason for his fear of ghosts, as well as two dead parents. It’s Saimota though and there’s a cute hurt/comfort scene at the end so go ahead and check it out if you want.

Content Warnings: Car accidents, minor character death, injuries, PTSD.

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May:

“Are you down to play?”, the fic that I wrote for day four of Saimota Week, wherein Shuichi has a secret and Kaito makes a bet with Kaede to figure it out. Man, if you thought I had bad associations with the fic I chose for April, look at this one, haha. But it’s objectively the best writing piece I uploaded that month, I’m really proud of my characterisation and the scenes in the fic, and hopefully someday I’ll be able to read this piece without thinking about him. :)

Content Warnings: None! This one’s just a fluffy feel good fic.

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June:

“Tamago kake gohan”, the Sonanami canon compliant hurt/comfort fic I wrote for my friend Void’s birthday. I put out a whopping three one shots in June because I’d really hit the swing of my roleplaying and hadn’t adjusted to it well enough to be writing fic at the same time yet, so, yeah. This one’s cute, though! Sonia is sad about Gundham and then Chiaki makes her some food. They’re sapphic.

Content Warnings: Canonical character death.

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July:

“Good night”, the Amasai 5+1 things that I wrote for my friend Neb’s birthday! This is the five times Saihara slept in front of Amami, plus the one time Rantaro slept in front of Shuichi. It’s cute! They’re tender! It features the trope where you sleep in front of a loved one! I love that trope! And it’s Neb’s favourite so I had to go for it, hehe. These two are cute boys and they deserve to be happy.

Content Warnings: Breakdowns, nightmares. (But neither is from the narrator’s perspective.)

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August:

“Making that dream come true”, the royalty AU Kaede and Rantaro become friends fic that I wrote while I briefly hyperfixated back on my royalty AU. I got into another writing groove during this time so I actually have a lot of really good fics up from August (including Mutual Vulnerability… Amamotas I’m sorry to have cucked you like this that fic was so damn good) but this one was my favourite. I love writing in first person, and I love writing platonic relationships, and someday I’m going to write the multichapter that this fic sets up for.

Content Warnings: Arranged marriages, and something else but it’s a secret, shhh.

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September:

“A lot of firsts”, the Harumami fic I wrote for the first day of Amami Week, which is a personal writing challenge that I did this year to celebrate the week leading up to Amami’s birthday. September was a really dry writing month for me, partly because of the roleplay stuff and partly because of personal issues, but I’m still proud of the heteroeroticism (heh) in this one. Maki and Rantaro have chemistry, what can I say.

Content Warnings: Stab injuries (not from Maki to Rantaro, please).

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October:

“October 3rd”, the second fic I wrote for Rantaro’s birthday, and also the Oumami fic that I wrote for day seven of Amami Week. I’m a fan of most of the fics I wrote in October (I wouldn’t gift someone a fic I’m not proud of and most of the fics I wrote, including this one, were gift fics) but this one is my favourite just because of the introspection, and also because of the fact that I got to write Ouma, because he’s always so much fun. I enjoyed writing the two of them going back and forth and have another Oumami fic on the way so stay tuned, haha.

Content Warnings: None.

---

November:

“It is what it is”, the fic I wrote for day four of Amamota week, which takes place when Rantaro is an adult, and out at a bar with his friends, where he meets Kaito and goes for a walk outside. It’s a melancholic piece for sure, but I like capturing those vibes with my fics, and I got to write a group interaction which is always one of my favourite things to do. Amamota is my biggest comfort pairing and I’m glad that I got to host Amamota Week this year, because I enjoy those two so much. :) Great chemistry.

Content Warnings: Recreational alcohol use (everyone is drinking legally and tentatively responsibly), general sad vibes idk.

---

December:

Okay, honestly, I haven’t posted anything yet this month aside from a vent, and since the vent I posted talks about my eating disorder and it’s not really very good writing anyway, I don’t feel comfortable putting it on this list. I have a multichapter holiday themed Oumami fic on the way that I will hopefully finish before the end of the year, as well as a fic I’m working on for a writing and art trade that I ABSOLUTELY need to get off my ass and work on, so those will hopefully be out by the end of 2020.

But yeah, that aside, that’s the complete list of my favourite fics from 2020. It’s been a long year and I’m glad to have stayed a member of the Danganronpa fandom through it. I really appreciate all the friends I’ve made, and the fun times I’ve had while I’ve been here.

2020 has treated me pretty terribly, haha. I met someone who I really wish I could’ve gone without, and my health has suffered, and I’m hoping to be able to start my recovery properly in 2021. Guess if I have a new year’s resolution, it’s to let go of what he did to me and start trying to get better. So I’m going to work on it! I can’t say that I think 2021 is going to be anybody’s year, but maybe it’s not about what the universe has in store for us so much as it is about what we make of it.

I hope everyone who reads this has a wonderful new year, I love you all dearly, thanks so much for the support and the laughs, and I’ll keep on hanging around and spreading my Amami propaganda.

Someone has to, haha.

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saundraswriting · 3 years

Text

Missed Signals Chapter 1

SUMMARY: Reki might have a problem. He gets hyperfixated. He is too loud. He has a delayed sleep schedule. He forgets to eat and drink sometimes. He zones out a lot, and even more when he tries to pay attention. He fidgets with his hair and his clothes and his skin to the point of injury. His brain works, sometimes. Other times he has to fight it. He has learned to cope enough over the years but just like everything else, some days are better than others.

WARNINGS: Nothing too grand, descriptions of ADHD symptoms,

NOTES: I am trying to cope with what I am thinking is undiagnosed ADHD by projecting onto my favorite characters. I mean no harm and no offense.

Ao3 // Missed Signals Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Next Chapter

With the sound of the last bell, Reki and Langa tore off to the skate park. They had just finished mid terms. Both boys were lookin forward to the three day weekend. They both missed going to 'S' and the skate park and even Joe's place, trying to studying as much as possible. Langa was still terrible with his Japanese and Math even though he was getting better. Reki's English and Biology scores were dismal, but he seemed to be scoring consistently well on his other tests.

"Hey, Langa, Reki! Over here!" Joe called. "Long time no see." The four other skaters were standing near a bench in the skate park all seeming to wait for the two high schoolers.

"Joe! Cherry!" Reki's bright grin was visible to them from the entrance.

"Shadow! Miya!" Langa was a little more subdued in his greater but no less enthusiastic.

Both boys felt a weight shift off their shoulders at the presence of their friends. They were really finished with midterms, they had three days to hang out and skate with each other. Their week of hard work seemed to finally pay off.

"Hello there, boys. How did midterms go?" Cherry asked. He was dressed in his robes but had his hair up.

"I think we did okay. It helps that we struggle in different subjects. I am glad we decided to take the days to review things." Reki said.

"It was a smart idea to use past test to study off of, instead of just notes. Your notes are also so lacking but you do so well on the tests." Langa commented absently as he bent to retie his shoe.

"What do you mean?"' Joe asked Langa. They all watched as Langa fiddled with his shoelaces.

"Oh. Um. Reki often forgets his homework or his notes are very scattered. Rarely does he remember his homework and take good notes. But he scores high on his tests. I even overheard the teachers discussing that if he applied himself and did his homework and took better notes Reki easily could be a top student." At the second mention of his name, Reki stopped looking at his phone and came back to the conversation, glancing at Langa who was sighing at his shoe.

"Langa, your aglet is broken. You'll need new laces. but for now I think some tape will do." Reki said. Everyone looked at him confused. "What? The thing on the end of your laces is called an aglet. It is derived from old French meaning 'needle' or 'pin' designed for lacing shoes or bags easier. Originally they were for ornamental reasons." Reki rattled off unprompted into the silence. His face grew pink at the attention of the others.

"Reki, why do you know that?" Miya asked.

"I had a period of time where I customized shoes for people. I liked how different it was from doing a board. I could show off my art skills better and helped steady my hand a bit more." Reki shrugged, not seeing the big deal.

"You know the old French origins of a part of a shoe no one cares about but you can't be bothered to learn English?" Cherry demanded.

Reki shrugged again, rubbing the back of his neck, embarrassment evident. "I don't mean to not do it. I sit down and I get ready to do it but then my mind blanks. Sometimes I can force myself but then I am frustrated quickly and easily irritated. Sometimes I work on it at school but then my notes are shitty." Reki rubbed his forehead, voice hard. "Sometimes the lights are too bright. Sometimes my brain says no to English but yes to physics and even sometimes my brain says no to everything and I just sit there telling myself all the things I need to do but it is all too much and not enough." Reki's hands begin to shake, while Joe and Cherry share a look over his head.

"Skating is the only thin that helps. But when I skate I give up time that I could be studying or working on the homework. I don't mean to be bad at school, just sometimes I can't help it." Reki seemed to curl in on himself, drawing his shoulders up and ducking his head down. His voice grew small and weak.

"Reki we didn't mean to make you upset. We were just curious. You aren't the only person that has issues organizing their thoughts or staying focused. Has this been an issue for a while?" Cherry gently asked. Reki seemed to relax when the group stayed quiet, seeming to expect derogatory comments.

"I think I began noticing in my second year of middle school." Reki spoke to the ground, unable to look at anyone in the eye. Langa could see his muscles tensing, sensing Reki's desire to bolt.

"That is enough of that. We came here to skate. Let's skate." Joe broke the tension seeming to sense Reki's urge to flee.

"Yes! I have something I want to show you slimes." Miya skated off after joe towards the halfpipe, throwing taunts over his shoulder as he went. Reki and Lana flew after him, throwing their own teasing comments at Shadow, who deemed himself the adult supervisor of the rowdy children.

Cherry and Joe hung back a bit, watching them all tear off. The previous conversation still lingering in the air. Both adults tracking a brightly laughing Reki as he skated around Miya and Langa.

"Poor kid. That must be so frustrating. He tried to make it out like it was no big deal but even if he learned some coping mechanisms, they won't work all the time if he doesn't know what the source of the problem is." Cherry said.

"He won't. He isn't self aware enough to know that he even has symptoms. He seems to have an executive dysfunction though." Joe said, thinking back to his high school days, where everything was too much and not enough, the days of skating until the small hours to hopefully be able to focus, the cooking and baking he did to keep from tearing things apart.

"Maybe we can help him? Maybe if we play our cards right he will even let us. He is so smart, it must be terrible to be stuck in your own head like that." Cherry said, finally picking up his board. Joe followed suit.

"The hardest part is the executive dysfunction. You need and want to do the thing but because you're frontal cortex didn't develop fully you completely freeze and your brain checks out and you are worthless all day. No one else can really get it unless they know. It is hard to explain it to neurotypicals." Joe tried to explain to the best of his abilities. Cherry nodded and made a mental note to research neurotypicals and neurodevelopment disorders.

The two adults finally made it over to see everyone was in the middle of a trick imitating game. Miya was keeping the tricks to a lower difficulty than normal so Reki wouldn't get to disheartened Joe noticed. Langa was doing pretty well, some of the more subtle footwork tripping him up since he wasn't a long term veteran. They skated for a few more hours before finally taking a water break. They were leaning against the fence or the bench or even each other in Reki and Langa's case. Langa had his full attention on Reki as he lectured on another topic, Cherry wasn't sure but it seemed to be about the manhole covers in the streets.

"They have to be round cause any other shape will fall in when turned upright. It is to save the people who are in the pipe below it." Reki was saying. Langa soaked up every word, and Cherry almost felt sorry for how gone the kid was for Reki.

"Honestly kid, why do you know that?' Joe said, looking just as interested. Cherry could only sigh and hope he wasn't as readable on how gone for his idiot gorilla.

"I collect interesting facts. I like to keep them in my brain, never know when you need them." Reki said. Joe just smiled down at the young man, fondly.

"Of course you do, kid. Of course you do."

#saundraswriting #sk8 the infinity #renga #reki kyan x langa hasegawa #adhd!reki #Domestic Sk8 family #matcha blossom

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goose-books · 3 years

Photo

goose-books productions: a 2020 review

view the image in higher quality here! (open the image in a new tab to zoom in.) thank you to my dearest @yvesdot for the template

transcripts and month-by-month details under the cut! for reference, you can find my projects here :-) overall, new and old followers, thank you for another good year over here! [holds your hand] [holds your hand] [holds your hand] [holds your h

january

i spent late 2019-early 2020 working on 2019’s nano project, quark, aka the speculative fiction thing about new york city and prophets and dissections of the chosen one trope and gay people. quark is my second-oldest project (five years!), but it’s also probably the most ambitious, so it’s been... difficult to wrangle into place, and i didn’t end up finishing a first draft. oh, well.

enjoy a snippet that is devastatingly emblematic of everything about quark. the tone. the homoerotic tension. the ensemble cast all talking over each other. the fact that caelum has spent pretty much this entire scene crying. fun autopsy report meeting.

Marble stares at the notebook in Shade’s hands. Or maybe he’s staring at Shade’s hands. Dawn feels a little voyeuristic, so she does what she does and says a dumb and unrelated thing: “Augustus, I think this pizza-on-the-floor thing is hurting my ass.”

Augustus flutters his hands. “Sometimes nonconformity is painful.”

“At least we’re originals,” Caelum mumbles into his sleeve.

“Exactly,” Augustus says.

“True originality doesn’t exist,” Marble says.

“Oh,” Shade deadpans, “it’s going to be a fun autopsy report meeting.”

It isn’t.

february

in january i stressed myself out trying to make the plot of quark work. so in february, i decided to take some time and write something Entirely For Fun. like, entirely for fun, no rules. and. my god. how do i explain the project i started calling “third eye for the bad guy.”

it was an unholy mashup of many of my past hyperfixations, including the gone series, a tale of two cities, warrior cats, and the left hand of darkness. one of the characters was a canon scalie and one was a canon fictionkinnie. it centered around a polycule of wannabe-evil-overlord high schoolers. i only wrote like three chapters but i was lost in the sauce for all of february and then i just… like… wiped it from my mind and moved on? somehow??? one character was a werewolf and that literally wasn’t relevant at ALL

Someone was going to die on these steps.

This had been Ivy Lee Palomo’s thought last year during the all-school photo, and it rose in her mind again now. The one hundred marble stairs leading up to the great double doors of Saint Constantine Academy were the school’s pride and glory, steep as the mountain, sharp as the blade under Ivy Lee’s skirt. With the cutting wind and snow glazing the stone more often than not, with the freshmen wild and wired on their first day of their first year, it was really only a matter of time before someone slipped and cracked their fucking head open.

It wasn’t going to be her. Not when she had Doc Martens and reflexes like an electric coil. Still. Ivy Lee didn’t want to watch someone die. She didn’t get along with dead people.

march

in march, i got back to the project i’d started in 2019 - AMT, my podcast! it’s a shakespeare retelling set in a modern high school; this excerpt is funnier and also more unnerving in context. (double, double, toil and trouble...)

INDRAJIT: What the hell are you doing?

[PAUSE.]

DEE (like she’s lying): Making pasta.

[ALL THREE OF THEM LAUGH.]

NONA: That’s right.

MORA: We have the keys to Mab’s office.

DEE: We’re using her stove.

NONA: To make pasta.

DEE: Do you want some?

[A TENSE PAUSE.]

INDRAJIT: No.

april

and darkling rears its head! all of my other projects have existed for at least a year; darkling (specfic king lear retelling) is... special. it was conceived in april, when i started hyperfixating on king lear, and i still managed to write an absolutely ridiculous amount of content for it. it was like the power of hyperfixation let me speedrun the entire process. which. okay.

iv: control

They say Cressida Stayer was nine years old when she turned her hair to gold. They laid her down in bed blonde, and the next morning, the waves cascading down her shoulders were solid metal, glinting harshly in the sunlight, weighing her down, creating that odd head-cocked expression she still wears now. Nine years old. Two or three years before most people develop enough magic skills to dye a single curl. Much less transfigure their hair into precious metal.

People also say Leovald Stayer’s immediate reaction was to hack it off her head and melt it down for cash. But generally they say that part a lot quieter.

may

in may i wrote AMT episode 15, by which i mean that in may there was a day when i sat in my room with the door shut for literally five straight hours listening to the same three songs on loop as i wrote the climax of one of the plotlines of AMT. so. that sure was… a day.

ISAAC: Do you want… do you want someone to drive you home? Hawk, you’re worrying me -

HAWK (almost cutting him off): Don’t. Don’t say that. I’m here to help. With your… thing.

ISAAC (quietly): I… don’t know if you should be here to see this.

HAWK (a little louder, more audibly upset): Well - what else am I going to do? Go home and - and have my dads talk at me and - and not be able to answer them? Because I can’t? I can’t. I don’t know what to say.

[PAUSE.]

ISAAC (V.O.): I wonder if this is what he feels like, on the outside, looking in at me. Watching someone else hurting. Helpless and afraid.

He still fits perfectly in my arms. I rest my chin on top of his head and pull him close to me, like I can stop him from shaking, like I can stop anything from happening the way I know it’s going to. I bury my face in his hair. He smells so familiar. He’s so warm.

God, Hawk. I love you so much. You shouldn’t be here to see this. Something bad’s gonna happen. And you’re not the kind of person who belongs in a tragedy.

june

okay, honestly, i should talk about “night shift” here, because in june i wrote a whole short story in one night (and then foamed over it for a week), but i am still in the process of submitting it places! so i am terrified to put even a sentence of it online. instead: the other thing i did this month was to finish AMT! (sixteen episodes and somewhere around 175k, iirc, but don’t quote me.) these lines are the opener to the final episode!

RAHMA (V.O.): The combined series of sophomore year disasters stretched through November. It’s June now. It’s taken me… a long time to get this all put together. I was going to make a vlog about it, initially - well, calling it a vlog sounds frivolous. I was going to make a video recounting the whole deal. All of it. From when I kissed Avery Fairchilde to the very last night. I scripted dozens of drafts; I put together dozens of bullet-pointed lists of what to cover… and it was never enough. Because Avery and I weren’t the only ones involved. Even if I was only focused on the two of us, it wasn’t just the two of us.

So… I gathered up everyone else. The whole town of Ellisburg is still talking about the week the town went crazy, but it wasn’t just a week. There was a lot leading up to it. And I think if anyone’s going to talk about it, it should be us. The people who lived it. So here we are. The most ambitious Rahma Ashiq production of all time - at least so far.

july

every july i pause whatever else i’m doing to celebrate the birthday of aurum & argentate, twins from my oldest and dearest WIP The Mortal Realm. july fifteenth! mark your calendars. they’re princes, though argentate would really rather not be; you can read the full birthday piece here.

“Do you… plan to get dressed?” A bit of the usual humor crept back into Aurum’s voice. “Although if you want to speak to the kingdom in your underthings, by all means, you have my full support.”

Argentate scrubbed at his face. He wasn’t dressed, no, but the usual malaise hung over his shoulders like a cloak. Guilt. Nerves. The sick sense that he hadn’t done something he was supposed to. The numb knowledge that it was too late to change a thing.

“I meant to,” he said. “Get dressed, I mean.” The rest went unsaid: I have just been sitting here. On the floor. Thinking about how I should get dressed.

“Ah,” Aurum said, extending his hand. “The traditional route. We’ll save the nude speeches for the future, then.”

Argentate took his hand, stumbling a little as Aurum pulled him to his feet. He steadied himself on the closest wall, taking a few deep breaths. Don’t panic. Don’t panic. His hands found their way to the cross, again and again.

august

this summer, i wrote an entire draft of Valentine Van Velt is Dead, AKA “holden caulfield goes to exposure therapy,” AKA the weird little personal side project i keep tucked into my coat. interesting features include second-person narration from a narrator who doesn’t like the main character all that much. so reading it is kind of like the book wants to kill you? with an added dash of general melancholy.

You used to live here. That’s the thing that’s got you feeling so off.

You didn’t recognize your old house. I mean, you kind of did. You remembered that the road was on a hill. That hill felt like a goddamn forty-five degree angle when you were a kid. But if you didn’t have the address written down you wouldn’t have known it at all. It would have been just another little suburban house in rows of perfect little towns that make your skin crawl.

So now you’re in this diner looking out a gross smudgy window trying to block out the elevator music pumping through the speakers in the ceiling or whatever. I don’t know how speakers work. You’re trying to tune that shit out. The waitress comes over and catches you by surprise so you just point at some coffee thing on the menu so she’ll go away. For the record: you don’t drink coffee.

There’s a public library across the street. A little square building. You probably used to go there. The lady comes over and thunks your coffee on the table and gives you a kind of look, like she wants to know what in the goddamn hell you think you’re doing here and not at school. You sip your coffee and look out the window until she leaves you alone again. And then you spit it back into the cup because, for the record: you don’t drink coffee.

september

i spent september and october prepping for nano, so i was mostly working on darkling...

It’s late spring; still, at this time of night, on a rooftop, there’s a chill. The wind plays with the end of Ruby’s coat, with her hair. She hands the bottle off to Jasper, stares up at the fogged-over sky, wishes she were lying in Dany’s arms in Dany’s bed instead of here. Wishes, even, that Dany were the one on the roof with her. At least then they’d be cold together. At least then she wouldn’t have to imagine what Dany would say; she could just listen, and watch Dany’s flashing smile and her flinty eyes.

(She cuddles. This is another thing Dany does that Dany probably shouldn’t do, based on everything about Dany; it’s not like rattlesnakes cuddle. But Dany likes to nuzzle into Ruby’s side and rest her head on Ruby’s collarbones and toss an arm over Ruby’s chest, and hold her down like she’s worried she’ll float off somewhere. She’ll card her fingers through Ruby’s hair and hum. Even though they could get caught, even though she’s probably got better places to be - Dany cuddles.)

Ruby imagines it, momentarily, both of them on the roof together, sprawled like horrifyingly beautiful gargoyles, sharp teeth flashing, blood running hot. Up here - it’d be like they ruled the world.

But whatever. Jasper’s fun. He’s hot. He’s got a sharp tongue in a lot more ways than one. And she likes when he lets the mask down. She likes seeing the soft bits underneath. She wants to sink her teeth and nails into them so hard she draws blood. Masks don’t bleed. Ruby would know; that’s why she is what she is.

october

...though i was also in creative writing class in school, and thus ended up writing a bunch of poems of varying quality (my teacher had a real thing for poetry) and also one darklingverse short story where rory and cressida hold hands! which you can find here.

Lorelai Rory Flowers is afraid of thunder.

This is a bit of an embarrassing thing to admit, as they’re seventeen (“at least seventeen,” they like to tell people, “maybe two hundred, who’s to say?”) and generally wise beyond their years, or whatever it is that adults say about kids with too much psychological baggage. Being afraid of thunder is not a very wise-beyond-one’s-years trait. And yet the state of affairs remains: loud noises make Rory want to melt into the earth. Back when they still went to school, even the fire alarm sent them scuttling under their desk to hide.

Right now, in the elevator, all they can do is shrink into their sweater.

They haven’t let go of Cressida’s hand yet.

november

and then november of course was nano which was an adventure all the way through. (opening tumblr on the fifth day of nano to find out about d*stiel... was something.)

“Apologize to me. Or get out of my house.”

Gracen’s voice is very, very low. For a moment she thinks he hasn’t heard her at all. Then he spins, eyes blazing. “What did you say?”

Gracen watches her own chest heave. She pushes herself up off the desk, stands with the effort of pushing a mountain off of her back. Leovald is six-foot-four. Gracen is six-foot-two. In her heels, in the heels she must wear to be a professional woman, to be a lady - they are the same height.

Gracen wipes her nose. When she lowers her arm, there’s a streak of blood across the back of her hand. Fire shivers in her chest; her heart rings in her ears; her voice could cut steel.

“I said,” she says, low, slow, volume building, “apologize to me. Or get. Out. Of. My. House.”

december

and finally, the poem i posted this year! it’s called the beast sonnet, and you can find it in its own post over here (with commentary! how sexy.)

i kill the beast and drop down to my knees, my blade stained dark with blood of stygian hue, and for a moment these scarred hands shake free, and hold a world unfurled for me anew. but once-mourned victims, victors, vices find; fear winged me; now its absence strips me bare. my sword now dulls, my legs, my voice, my mind; the beast, pried from my throat, leaves no skill there. and still i hear it laugh, O DEVOTEE— O CHILD DEAR, NO GLORY WITHOUT ME.

i was quite productive this year; i have to think it was because i was avoiding things... the peak of my productivity happened over the summer and in november, AKA, college app hell. (almost done with the last applications! pray for me.)

a general breakdown of what occupied me this year:

(no, i don’t know why the “various other things” category ended up so large... i blame all the one-off projects i wrote a single page for, and also whatever the fuck happened in february. yes, i do know why it looks hideous; it’s because each of my WIPs has a theme color

thank you once again for spending some time at goose-books dot gov this year! what to expect for next year: well, i very much hope i can produce AMT... also hoping to get darkling ready for beta readers, so keep your eyes out!

#max.txt #and that's a wrap!!! what a goddamn year.#okay. breath in. tags:#quark tag #third eye tag #(i think there are like. two posts in that one?)#amt tag #darkling tag #tmr tag #vvvid tag #wow that was a lot of text. if you read all this... [blows you a kiss] thank you!#max actually writes #year in review

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