#i think its so funny that were doing this stuff on the reg but we dont even like kiss and stuff | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

summersareknives · 1 year

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hellooo im back💥 i adore your tattoo ideas i love queen sm & getting lines from youre my best friend with your best friend? genius truly. if i could get my best friend to get a matching tattoo with me (which would never happen shes so indecisive) id love to get lyrics from a song we both love. also love the little freak lines i love that song sm.

TY for the fic rec again im gonna give u another one because thats how this works now<3 across the hallway by periwinklehelp_123 (dorlene, dorcas and marlene live across the hallway from each other, pretty self explanatory)

now for taylor. im in a reputation kinda mood today sooo....getaway car, gorgeous, call it what you want !

and omg. pisces thats so funny. please tell me u dont have the same bday as remus.

also i love friends & b99 theyre just such perfect feel-good shows. ive recently been watching new girl in my spare time too🫶

also tangled & princess and the frog?? taste. i love those movies sm theyre the superior disney princess movies (although i always was an ariel girl when i was really young LOL)

okay now questions:

have i ever seen a moose - god i wish. i dont even think moose live in my part of canada? (just googled it and they dont. very sad day for me)

temperature over here - rn its 6 degrees, in the summer it gets up to like 30 degrees, & winter usually gets down to around -10 at most.

favourite fic of all time - oooh this is a hard one. now i dont really read fics for any other fandom, its kinda for marauders for me so. my wip favourites are disintegration by moonymoment, crimson rivers by zar, edge by pinkpalaceapartments (another agent-james assassin-reg fic, based on killing eve), kill your darlings by messermoon, and ofc dead or alive (i guess i have a thing for assassin reg and agent james LOL) now for finished fics... the winner is gonna have to go to just lovers (like we were supposed to be) by zar. (and intermission by zar too since it fits in there) its just perfect and i feel like ive reread it a billion times.

fav golden trio era ship - probably luna and neville (do they have a ship name? i cant think of it if they do) they were my favourite characters as a kid so they have a special place in my heart. OH i also love romione because theyre just a classic and i love them sm.

do i write fics - sadly no. ive tried and failed. im not a creative writer at all, in fact im literally the opposite, call me the grammar police. im essentially the designated paper editor among my friends because im fantastic at technical writing and stuff like that, but i cant write for shit. i truly envy people who can create such beautiful stories.

tea or coffee - coffee always. i do love tea and have it probably just as much as coffee but i will always be a coffee girly.

go to outfit - hmm. well i basically live in my doc martens and leather jacket (very sirius of me i must say) and i do love a good baggy jean and band tee look. but on my off days you cannot find me out of my sweatpants or pajamas. its simply not happening.

how many piercings - 4, two on each earlobe. (2 i did myself with a sewing needle, dont recommend) i really wanna get my septum or just the nostril, but i havent decided yet. although id probably never get it, i do love the look of the medusa piercing too its just cool.

area of study - im studying classics and anthroplogy in uni rn! ive always been a history/humanities girly and i love ancient history and languages so much so thats what i decided to do. (plus i was a greek mythology kid so) i think my ideal career path would be archaeologist but that could change at any given moment, so im just seeing where uni takes me.

fun fact about me - hmmm. im left handed! kinda not a fun fact but for some reason i dont know very many left handed people (i swear have we gotten rarer or something??)

now for questions for you:

do you like books? whats your fav book/book series?

fav movie/movies?

whats one place youve always wanted to visit and why?

do you have any go-to pieces of jewelry that you always wear?

fav food?

cats or dogs?

mbti type?

sun, moon, or stars?

fav holiday? (as im writing this im losing it thinking about what you said about lily and james dying on my bday.😭 i just know james answered the door dressed to the nines in some dumb costume)

im so bad at coming up with questions and im running out ideas so ill think of more for next time <3

-bee

bee bee hello my new best friend <333

i know it is genius isn’t it ??? that’s what i keep telling my best friend , but he’s too scared of the needle. my goal is one year. one year and we’ll both get tattoos. and the little freak thing is literally one of my favourite harry songs !!

new girl is honestly like after modern family on my list. i shall get to her one day.

YOU ARE WELCOME FOR THE FIC REC :))))) I’ve now downloaded across the hallway & am very excited to read it , so thank you (i love lesbians & the next door neighbour trope !!)

now fic rec for you (that is what we do now , you are absolutely correct.) - down at the wolfbucks café by WolfstarGarden (ft barista james & remus , where regulus & sirius walk in one day for a cup of coffee.)

and because i’m on a little bit of a drarry kick rn - mental by sara_holmes (ft drarry with a miscast legilimens spell meaning they can hear each other’s thoughts.)

TAY TAY TIME -

(also yes , reputation always! as jake would say , ‘she makes me feel things’)

getaway car - JEGULUS - i’ve claimed this song for doa (it’s very inspired by getaway car) so i’m very excited for it (favourite song on rep , dare i say.) ‘sirens in the beat of your heart , should’ve known i’d be the first to leave , think about the place where you first met me’ - very very relevant for doa. changed my life when i heard this line. and generally ‘sirens in the beat of your heart’ like nee naw nee naw , don’t fall in love with this man , it’s bad for your heart , but aw crap i’m in love with him already !!!

gorgeous - JEGULUS - (keep relating everything to them , but i swear there are other ships i relate with other songs ) ‘you ruined my life by not being mine’ regulus watching james dance at a club & fuming because someone’s dancing against him (he doesn’t know that james is doing it on purpose to make him jealous) ‘you make me so happy it turns back to sad’ I LOVE IT it’s them them. ‘you’re so gorgeous , i can’t say anything to your face’ i can just imagine reg being all mean to him (it’s his way of flirting , poor chap.)

call it what you want - JEGULUS - (again I feel the need to apologise. i relate everything to them , they’re my current hyperfixation.) ‘brought a knife to a gunfight’ ‘They fade to nothing when I look at him ,And I know I make the same mistakes every time , Bridges burn, I never learn, at least I did one thing right, I did one thing right’ - IT’S SO THEM IN MY HEAD !!! like imagine a celeb au , and this is reg afterwards where he’s being all smooth with it , because he’s finally home with james AHHHHHH.

chatting time -

i just assumed everywhere in canada had mooses. just like i see foxes everywhere here . that’s a little disappointing , tbh , they should have mooses everywhere.

6 degrees??? damn that’s almost warm compared to the weather here (1 degree) . & it gets into he negatives ( I don’t remembered a minus ten , but i could be wrong.) however , i still think london cold is colder than any other cold. it just hits different. like absolutely ten times worse.

and the fics , dstg , cr , kyd , are all on my list ( i paused cr at chap two so I am absolutely avoiding spoilers with a BAT) and edge (KILLING EVE ??? OH MY GOD IT’S GOING ON THE LIST.) . thank u so so much for putting dead or alive on this list !!! I’m so happy you liked reading it just as much as i love writing it !!

just lovers & intermission are also on my list. my lessons are currently fucking me up so i have zero free time , & i’ve got mocks coming up in a little while. but once i’m free , i will absolutely read this it sounds so cute and comforting!!

ahhh luna & neville ?? that’s so sweet ?? (vis a vis ship name - luville is what i’d go for :) ) & i love romione too (unfortunately will not be reading any fics with them as the main ship , they’re just not compelling enough for me ) i personally love drarry (& dramione sometimes , lil bit of a guilty pleasure u might say) and their fics stab me in my heart and put them back together (isolation , temptation on the warfront (fave drarry fic ever) , it was all just a game , wait and hope)

AND SAME . I’m literally the grammar editor for my bets friend . // ‘edit my paper’ ‘use grammarly’ ‘you went to a grammar school. you ARE my grammarly.’ // literally even my school friends , the ones who went to this grammar school with me , use me as their editors . I’m being used , honestly. (i make them buy me things in exchange though.)

YOU CHOSE COFFEE ?? as a british person , this is blasphemy. absolute blasphemy. *sips tea with pinky finger sticking out*

leather jacket & doc martens ?? so sirius black of u , yes. ( me looking at my red converse , jeans & plain ol’ shirt.) BAND TEES BAND TEES BAND TEES. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH THEY ARE BAE. I unfortunately own like one of them , but my best friend owns so so many and one day , when he’s not home , i’ll break in and take a couple. maybe. not getting out of sweats & pjs is so real of you & same honestly. nothing beats netflix & pjs with a glass of something sparkly & a tube of smarties for me.

BRO not the sewing needle , how did you not get an infection ?????? one of my friends has a septum piercing (her parents do not know this !) so she hides up her nose when she’s at home. she got a cold recently, and she describes sneezing with the septum piercing ‘the most painful thing i’ve ever fucking felt.’ so u know. advice. i myself advise you to get the nostril pierced. i think it would be very cool of you (but of course i am in favour of whatever you wish to do)

AHHHHHHH I WAS ALSO A GREEK MYTHOLOGY KID!!!!! i knew the story of troy by heart , and i still do. i still do. love meeting another greek nerd honestly we’re so cool !!! AND YOU STUDY CLASSICS ??? that’s so cool of u honestly. there’s a joke in latin (here at least ) where we say ‘caecilius est in horto’ does that carry over there in canada ?? or am i just speaking tosh right now?? & anthropology too ?? u just keep getting more and more awesome. (i wanted to be an archaeologist too , at one point. decided saving lives was more my thing.somtimes tho , when i watch spy movies & i come out of the cinema , i do say i will become an agent.but i never will.) & yes let life carry u on ur way .

left-handed people are depleting. i know one left handed person in real life & she says it’s a real struggle. (my goal in life is to become ambidextrous though.)

QUESTION TIME 🕰️-

I LOVE BOOKS !!!! (took english lit for a level , I gotta have had loved reading in some way!) my favourite books when i was a kid was hp , but now they’re the ‘a good girls guide to murder series’ i highly recommend them , ravi singh is my personal fave. for a singular book ? you must never ask a bookworm this, it’s a cardinal sin. i’ll give you my top four

gods of jade and shadow

a thousand splendid suns

if we were villains

little women

(these books changed my life , I highly recommend.)

and my favourite movies ? top three -

jumanji (the first one)

the proposal (ryan & sandy have my HEART. writing an au of them right now ‘born or invented.’ jegulus of course , because margaret can’t swim , and neither can he.)

the hunger games movies (peeta>>>> gale)

hp movies (poa & ootp especially)

i do have more , (some aren’t even english) but my mind is blank rn. watching the apprentice atm & the boys just won the first ep. the girls are all sad & i’m very sorry for them.m (one of them will have to go home, but one of them also keeps calling herself the ‘kim k of business women’ as if kim wasn’t already a business women.)

place i wanted to visit?? new york - i always wanted to go there. friends takes place there , it’s the big apple , yk???? I love it so much on tv & i do want to see all the ways americans are different. want a big gulp cup , i want to experience a lil british privilege. want to go to the concrete jungle , for sure.

my earrings, and this pandora bracelet which has a snitch clasp & the ‘i open at the close inscription’ it’s very dear to me. also also a gold necklace with a double dolpin. i wear these three all the time , but sometimes i also like wearing lots of rings , but i’m in a lab for a lot of the time so it’s very inconvenient for me.

fave food- pop tarts and also this Chinese takeaway from near my place??? i’m in heaven whenever i eat it. i go out often , and nothing has ever beat that. i also love the cookies & brownies from this bakery near my bus stop & i honestly love them so much. (me and my best friend went there every day after our gcses honestly.)

cats or dogs - cats. (sorry sirius) but i would never say no to a pupper! always pet one if the owner lets me!!

mbti type - INFJ-T (i’m an advocate?? yes yes i think that’s good :)) )

stars !! always stars!! (technically the sun is also a star , but i digress) stars make pretty constellations and as an ex-astronomy student, i love them so much.

fave holiday - CHRISTMAS !!!!! a london christmas is IMMACULATE. honestly the vibes are unreal. the lights on oxford street and everything ✨

& the halloween thing ?? i’m sorry , oh my god , your birthday is now the deathday of the greatest parents ever 💔.

WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP SAYING JAMES OPENED THE DOOR ??? HE DID NOT DO THIS ??? voldy broke down the door , my friend , i promise even james isn’t that trusting.

but i agree he was so dressed in a dumb costume anyways .

q’s for next time

fave rarepair ?

fuck marry kill james sirius remus

what place do you want to visit and why?

fave book / book series ?

most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done ?

favourite thing you own?

if your life was a movie , what would you call it ?

(as usual , bee , come back in my inbox asap i will miss u otherwise. and keep it coming with the taylor songs , this is my daily bread.)

#ess water a plant #bee <33 #ess’s marauders x ts crossover

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letsgetusaghostfriend · 3 years

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A Green Day concert, a bloody nose and a coming out – Sunset Curve & Green Day I

Summary: Luke and Bobby got them tickets for the Green Day show in LA on November 2nd 1994, also known as the night Billie Joe punched a homophobe and Alex came out to the guys.

Friendship fic, super Alex & Bobby centred, Luke and Reggie are not straight but don’t know that yet. Also, I know most people think Alex came out way earlier, but he has to not be out for this story to work.

((warnings: homophobia, homophobic language (not fully written out except in the band name of the opening act), slight violence, mentioned: alcohol, underage drinking (I am german, so for me it’s not underage drinking but yeah), in general: swearing))

word count: 4.9k, read here on AO3 x

Luke and Bobby got four tickets for the Green Day show in LA on November 2nd in 1994, it was one of Green Day’s bigger shows at that time. The boys previously have been to other concerts of the band, but the last one was in a small club in ’92, of course, all four of them being way too young for that place. Luke and Reggie were the first ones out of their group to get fake ID’s, mainly to go to gigs and play gigs. In the beginning, Alex thought he would never do the same, too scared of possible consequences, but then Luke used his stupid puppy eyes. (They still work even after Alex crush died, dead and buried). And if he was being honest, it was really helpful for playing clubs if the owners can at least pretend that they believe the four boys are old enough to be there.

Alex was aware that Green Day’s opening act, Pansy Division, was an all-gay band. And he was excited and scared at the same time. He found out because this one kid in his English class, Josh, went to the San Diego show earlier that week and told one of his friends that he shouldn’t go to the LA show as Green Day was just a bunch of “f*g lovers” and not worth their time. So Alex was scared: what if his friends would say the same thing?

They arrive late and the line is massive, Alex anxiety pitches in and reminds him that if it takes too long for them to get inside, he might miss Pansy Divisions performance. Logically he knows that they wouldn’t start letting people in so late that the opening band already starts when most people are not inside yet, but his anxiety is not that into logical thinking. He can’t help being fidgety, at one point Luke noticed and asks him if the crowd is making him uncomfortable. “Yeah, a little bit” Alex responds, not wanting further questions about why he was so anxious. The boys keep close to the bar, staying in the back first, not too excited to get into the crowd just yet. Alex knows the others would be inside the first mosh pit if it wasn’t for his anxiety, but not once did they show any signs of annoyance about his hesitancy. They just patiently wait for Alex to get used to the crowd and atmosphere, never angry when he has a bad day and he never signals that it is okay for them to go into the more crowded areas. Sometimes, especially when Luke doesn’t know where to put his energy he and Reggie go, but they always make sure that at least one person stays with Alex. He probably should tell them how thankful he is for this more often (the others would disagree here since they feel like Alex thanks them too much).

When Pansy Division started playing Alex didn’t expect them to actually sing about hooking up with guys at rock concerts, loving men, having real, deep and meaningful relationships and just, in general, doing normal daily life stuff, living with a boyfriend and how it feels after a breakup. He feels so excited, almost jumping up and down to the beat, not able to put his excited energy out on the drums like he would if it was their own concert. Alex completely forgets to check the guys for any reactions, too involved in the music. He doesn’t see that the other three boys enjoy Pansy Divisions music just as much as he does. He doesn’t see Bobby eyeing him from the side, a knowing glint in his eye.

Alex doesn’t know that Bobby saw the way Alex would look at Luke when they were 14, at Brian from History when they were 15, and how he sometimes looks at pictures from Billie Joe Armstrong in magazines. Bobby also didn’t miss Alex’ obsession with the song Coming Clean. The other boys sometimes forget about how Bobby’s parents are genuine open-minded people, who introduce him to a lot more diverse people than his friends’ parents do. So yes, maybe Alex was discreet enough for Mr Luke Oblivious Patterson and Captain Reg Oblivious Peters, and his parents who anyway only see what they want to see, but not for Bobby. Bobby, who might from an outsider’s perspective looks like he is standing a bit outside this friendship group due to him being less loud and sociable than his friends, but Bobby who loves his friends with all his heart, Bobby who truly sees his friends and knows that this is where he belongs. Seeing the absolute bliss, happiness and excitement streaming from Alex like waves is contagious.

After Pansy Division finished their set and there was a short break before Green Day would start theirs, Bobby slips from their group, mumbling that he would get another beer. Instead, he goes to buy Pansy Divisions EP, because the band was genuinely good but mostly because he knows Alex wouldn’t buy it, but he will definitely want it. On his way to the little corner where they sell the Green Day merch as well as Pansy Division stuff, Bobby realises that it was actually packed, but he soon saw that it was just a long long line for the Green Day merch. Actually, there are so many people he can’t even see the Green Day merch salesperson. He manages to get to the guy who took care of the Pansy Division stuff, he greets him with a head nod and a short “hey”, while scrambling his money out of his pant pockets to count it. He’ll have to nick a bit off of Luke’s beer later, not having enough money left to buy another one. When he reaches out to hand out the money for the CD somebody joins the guy who cared for the merch. Bobby recognises that it’s the singer of Pansy Division and he smiles at him. “Great performance, really enjoyed you guys’ music!”. The singer grins at that and holds out his left hand, which Bobby finds a bit strange, but takes it nonetheless.

“Jon, nice to meet you.”

“Bobby, pleasure is all mine.”

“Ah, you’re a musician yourself!” Jon says while checking out Bobby as if he could tell whether the kid in front of him was any good based on his appearance. It took the guitarist a second to realise that Jon must’ve felt his calloused fingers from playing the guitar during the handshake. “Yeah, I’m actually here with my bandmates.” A voice in his head, that sounds suspiciously like Reggie tunes in with “We’re Sunset Curve, tell your friends.” But Bobby pretty much felt like a child trying to play in the adults’ league, so he doesn’t say anything else. Jon grabs the CD he was about to buy and opens it while asking “So Bobby, is the CD for you or someone else?” Taken aback by that question Bobby tells him without thinking “We kind of always share records. Em, so maybe Sunset Curve?” Jon who was about to sign the inside of the CD case, pauses and looks up again “You’re in Sunset Curve?”

“Yeah, rhythm guitar.” He answers without much of a thought, it takes him two seconds then he adds: “You’ve heard of us?” Jon chuckles at Bobby’s shocked tone.

“Saw you play a few months ago. Didn’t remember your name till Mike mentioned one of your songs, always called you “the band with the cute drummer” actually.” Jon casually explained to a still shell-shocked Bobby. The comment about Alex makes him choke on his own spit though. Jon smirks, but before he can say more Bobby’s mouth starts talking before his brain gave its okay: “You saw us well enough to say that Alex is cute, but you didn’t recognise me?” After the words left his mouth, he feels his face heat up.

‘Way to embarrass yourself by having too much of an ego, Robert, great job’, he thought to himself. But Jon again laughs it off, as if he made a funny joke, smirks and asks if Alex was here tonight.

“He is,” Bobby says, voice cold, “he is also sixteen.”

Now it was Jon’s time to look embarrassed. “Oh shit, never mind then.” He pauses. “Sixteen is a bit young to play that club you played, isn’t it?” He pauses again. “You guys take this whole music thing seriously, I like that!”

More at ease again after Jon’s reaction to Alex’ age, Bobby’s brain finally catches up with everything Jon said before he called Alex cute.

“Wait, Mike as in Mike Dirnt? As in Mike Dirnt mentioned one of our songs?” he asks astounded. Jon laughs at the utter bewilderment that the younger one’s face was showing. But before he could say something about it a loud voice behind Bobby sneers: “Oh look at that, Bobby the f*g lover.” He turns around and sees Andrew from his math class. “Always knew at least one of you would be a shirt lifter!”

Bobby tries to take a deep breath before he answers but Jon beats him to it. “I would really think people were clever enough to listen to lyrics, but you still find the poser ones at these concerts, especially since Dookie got Green Day so popular outside of the scene!” Bobby needed a few seconds to realise that Jon wasn’t even talking to Andrew but instead just talked about him to Bobby and the guy selling the merch.

“Don’t you dare talk to me like that you fucking fairy!” Andrew sneers, stepping closer to Jon. As soon as Andrews anger is directed towards Jon and not Bobby anymore, the guitarists fight instinct kicks in.

“Fairy? Really?” he asks Andrew with a snigger in his voice, “Didn’t know we live in the 50s, Andrew. Learned all these terms from your daddy?” Bobby tries to make his voice sound as degrading as possible. For a second it seems like Andrew might shut up and leave but then Jon starts laughing loudly about Bobby’s comments and before anyone can react Andrew takes a swing and hits Jon right on the mouth. Without thinking, Bobby copies his action and the next thing he knows is that his hand hurts and Andrew has a red square on the side of his face. He glares at the guitarist and strikes again. This time the fist hits Bobby’s nose and he sees black stars in front of his eyes for a few seconds. After that, all hell is breaking loose and Bobby is being pushed around for what feels like a few minutes before he gets pulled aside and finds himself behind the selling booth with Jon by his side who has a busted lip that is still bleeding. Jon has a hand on the teen's shoulder and looks worried at him. “Fuck your nose does not look too good!” he says. Hearing the words Bobby brings his hand up to his nose and winces when he feels a sharp pain as soon as his fingers touch his nose. “Fuuuuuuuuck, Alex is going to kill me!” he groans at the thought of how the blond will react to seeing Bobby like this.

“Hey man, good punch you got on the dickhead there!” an excited voice states beside Bobby, which makes him turn his head probably a bit too quick, considering he just got punched in the face a few minutes before. But the guitarists' instincts were right: standing beside him was no other than Green Days’ singer, Billie Joe Armstrong. The blond (with fading blue in his hair) is smiling at Bobby and continues with “but I think mine was even better” while pointing at something behind Bobby, who turns around just in time to see security carrying a half-conscious Andrew out of the venue.

“You know that guy?”

“He goes to my school!” Bobby answers, still in awe looking after Andrew.

“Oh, you need to tell me about how he looks tomorrow, man I don’t miss high school but I’d love to go to school just to see that!” Billie Joe tells him and Jon, still sounding way too excited. When Bobby turns around again to look at the two musicians in front of him, he catches Jon telling Billie Joe that Bobby is part of the band they talked about the other day. Somehow getting even more excited by the news he fully turns back to Bobby. “Love that! We need more good people in this scene so we can make sure the music stays clean of dudes like that! Well, it was lovely punching homophobes with you Bobby, but I actually have a concert to play!”

And with that Billie Joe is gone through the door leading to the backstage area and Bobby looks at Jon hoping that he can find answers with him (like is he hallucinating?) but he just chuckles at the teenagers in awe face and takes the CD Bobby wanted to buy all along, as well as the money he had already paid and hands both back at the teen with the words “I think you paid enough for this already, thanks for sticking up for me!” And adding, when Bobby tries to give the money back again, “You better go so your bandmates don’t worry and you don’t miss the Green Day show!” Bobby thanks him and with a smile he makes his way back to the other boys while putting the money and the CD into his pockets.

When Alex finally sees Bobby come back to them, he feels relief washing over him. Alex always hates it when they split especially if one of them is on their own and Bobby has been gone for way too long. The first thing Alex notices is that Bobby doesn’t carry any beer or anything else that he could’ve brought from a bar, the second thing is that Bobby’s nose is bleeding. The easing relief is instantly replaced by worry as Alex's brain catches up with his eyes. As soon as the guitarist reaches them Alex starts searching his fanny pack for tissues and anything else that can help with a bloody nose, all while berating Bobby about getting into a fight. Reggie and Luke excitedly ask Bobby about it, but when their bleeding bandmate tries to tell them about what happened Alex just shushes him and gestures for him to look up so that he can take a better look at his nose. While Alex is still cleaning up Bobby’s face the crowd starts cheering and Alex turns around quickly to confirm his suspicion that the main act finally made it on stage. He keeps on cleaning his friends face from now slightly dried blood when he hears Billie Joe's voice over the speakers.

“Sorry guys, I know we’re late, but I had to punch a homophobe…” The rest of the sentence does not reach Alex’ brain as he looks at one of his best friends, whose nose was bleeding after obviously being punched and all he can hear is white noise, while the realisation, that Bobby being the homophobe who was just punched by Green Days’ singer, sets in. He feels a sharp sting in his chest all while feeling overwhelmed by fear, cold naked fear. And his thoughts race through his brain, too fast to actually make any sense, all he knows is that his worst nightmare seems to be coming true: the people he trusts the most will eventually leave him. They will hate him. They will think he is disgusting, and they will leave him. Unconsciously he takes a step back from Bobby, taking both his hands off his friends face but before he can totally spiral into his thoughts, he is caught by Bobby who holds the drummer by his wrists and looks at him like Alex offended him deeply.

“Seriously?” Bobby’s voice comes out sharper than he probably intended, softening his tone as he sees Alex flinch at him, “You actually think I am homophobic? Fuck Alex do you really think that poorly of me?” The guitarists' words and face are both filled with what Alex can only describe as hurt. Bobby attempts to say more but he is cut off by Billie Joe's voice coming over the speakers saying his name.

“A special thanks to Bobby from Sunset Curve! Make sure you check them out they’re a local band that’ll make it big one day, I’ll promise you! I swear, give them less than a year and they’ll be playing here on this very stage! Thanks, Bobby, for helping me punch a dickhead!” And with that they start into their first song, leaving the boys standing completely mind blown in the back, each one trying to comprehend what just happened. After a few seconds, Reggie, Luke and Alex all turn to Bobby with questioning faces, but Bobby concentrates on Alex’ face. “Do you believe me now?” When Alex nods the, still bleeding, guitarist feels relief wash over him. “Good! Because I already have your Christmas present and I literally know no one else who has the same taste that you have!” He actually manages to make Alex smile with his stupid comment, feeling like they might be okay again, he holds onto Alex’ sleeve, needing something to ground him, knowing that Alex is uncomfortable with public affection. He turns to Luke and Reggie who as soon as they have his attention try to bombard him with questions, but he stops them and promises to tell them later.

___

After the concert:

When they leave the venue, a wave of, for L.A. unusually cold air, hits Bobby’s face and clears his head a little, making it easier to think about everything that had happened. As he was the first one out of the four to step out in the cold air, he takes a deep breath before turning around to see the other three boys walk up to him. He notices that Alex pulls his jean jacket tighter around his body, clearly not enjoying the cold air as Bobby does. He smiles at Bobby and then follows Reg and Luke who started walking towards the side street where they parked the van before the concert. The two boys talk animatedly about the Green Days show, analysing every detail. Seeing one of their favourite bands live did distract the two enough for them to not ask any further questions, right now. Alex smile tells Bobby that the same did not count for the blonde boy. Bobby jogs up to Alex to walk beside him, but when he tries to initiate a conversation with his bandmate, the blonde just shakes his head and mumbles, that he has things to think, but as if to calm Bobby down, Alex takes his hand and squeezes it before they reach their van. The van they brought because they actually started to be able to book enough gigs to pay for it (and to actually need it), they all paid for it, even though they don’t talk about the fact that Bobby paid the biggest part, with him having the only parents who actually support the band.

Bobby is driving, with Alex in the passenger seat lost in his thoughts and Luke and Reggie in the back, trying to get Bobby to finally tell them about what happened at the venue. The guitarist promises to tell them as soon as they arrive at the garage, but despite the impatience from Luke and Reggie to find out about everything they still have a quick stop at a small diner on their way home to get their after-concert food.

Alex, Reggie and Luke all go straight for the couch while bobby prefers sitting on the floor, facing them. For a few seconds they all munch happily but soon Luke starts bugging Bobby about what happened at the club, so he puts his sandwich aside and takes a short breath. He doesn’t know where to start, he kind of wants Alex to know that he got the CD for him, but he doesn’t want to put any pressure on Alex, nor does he want the other two to find out about Alex liking boys before Alex wants them to.

“So,” Bobby starts, “we all really liked Pansy Division, right?” he asks with a nervous laugh tinting his words. He looks at the three boys on the couch for confirmation and gets it from two of the boys while Alex looks like he gets scared by the simple indication that he might have really liked the queer band they all saw tonight. Bobby acts like he didn’t see it while deciding, that he won’t tell the blond that Jon was hitting on him. That might be a bit much information for one night. “Well, I thought,” he continues while pulling out the CD he brought earlier “I’ll get us their CD.” He waves the CD then places it on the table in front of the couch so the guys can look at it.

“And that’s where I met one of the band members, Jon, he is the singer.” He looks up at his friends who all stare at him with a mixture of shock and curiosity on their faces, even Alex nervousness seems replaced. ‘I didn’t even get to the really shocking parts yet’, Bobby thought to himself.

“Okay, so we got talking, he found out I play in a band and when he asks for a name to use to sign the CD I just said Sunset Curve, because we always share records, like I mean I don’t even know who owns what anymore!” Luke looks dead serious while nodding his head, Alex starts smiling slightly and Reggie looks like he is trying really hard to separate their shared music collection in his head.

“Anyway, it turns out he saw one of our shows earlier this year and apparently, he was talking about one of our songs with Mike, but before you get too excited, I couldn’t ask him about it because that dick Andrew from my math class interrupted us. He called me a – eh, never mind” he stops himself, giving Alex a short glance – “he started calling me and Jon names and I kind of started making fun of him for using really outdated terms and when Jon laughed about that, Andrew hit him and then I hit Andrew and he hit me back and suddenly everything got crazy. Next thing I know is that I am behind the merch booth with Jon and Billie Joe Armstrong, and Andrew is being carried outside by security.” He tries to rush the words out fast enough so that Luke doesn’t stop him because of the band being recognised and Alex doesn’t stop him because he hit someone.

“And then Billie Joe finds out I am in Sunset Curve and he says something about it being good that more good people will keep the scene going or something and then he pretty much left to play the show and Jon gave me the CD and I went back to you guys so you wouldn’t worry too much.” When he finally finishes his story, he is staring at three really shocked looking faces.

“Mike Dirnt and Billie Joe both know of Sunset Curve?”

“Who knew Bobby is such a badass!”

“You hit Andrew?”

All three started talking at the same time, but then Alex stands up and he looks real mad and everyone else shuts up. Bobby looks at him. “Alex, I didn’t plan to, it just happened. I got so mad when he started calling Jon these awful names and when he hit him, I just snapped.”

“What about our no fighting rule, huh?”

“So, when someone is being super homophobic, I am just supposed to do nothing?”

At that moment Bobby realises that Alex didn’t process until now that Andrew was using homophobic slurs against Bobby and Jon. He sees Alex anger vanish from him in mere seconds, replaced by fear and sadness settling in his eyes. Lips pressed into a thin line Alex sits down on the couch again. It breaks Bobby’s heart to see his friend like this. They all stay silent for a while.

“What did he say?” Alex asks with a voice so quiet Bobby almost misses it.

“Alex,” he sighs, “I am pretty sure you don’t want to know!”

With that Alex's eyes, which were glued to his hands before, snap up and meet Bobby’s. “You know, don’t you?” Alex asks Bobby, seemingly completely forgetting that the other boys are in the room.

Bobby does not know what to answer, not wanting to make Alex come out because he feels like he has to, or because Bobby figured it out already. “I only know what you want me to know, everything else is just a hunch.” He finally settles on.

Alex laughs. “So, you definitely know, and I actually thought I was being subtle.”

“I still love you, you know that, right?” Bobby just needs Alex to know that. Even if this is a weird one, Bobby wants this to be the reaction Alex gets for his first coming out.

It takes Alex a few seconds but finally, he looks up again, searching Bobby’s face for any trace of him lying. As Alex realises that the boy in front of him means what he said he feels like the biggest wave of relief washes over him. This, black-haired, awkward and quiet boy in front of him, who buys CD’s from queer bands, punches one of his classmates because he was being a homophobic bigot to a complete stranger and whose first reaction to Alex half-assed coming out is to tell him that he still loves him. This boy, who is so uncomfortable with most people touching him, who still wants to hold all of their hands all the time, calling them grounding. This boy, who would probably punch more people to protect them because he gets crazy protective about the people he cares about. And suddenly it’s difficult not to start crying and Alex feels like his voice will break if he tries to talk so he just nods.

And in that second, knowing he has Bobby on his side for this, he decides that he wants them all to know. So, he gets up from the couch and “gets on the runway” as Luke likes to call Alex’ nervous walking occasionally. After walking up and down three times, he suddenly stops, turns to Luke and Reg who look super confused by what is happening and he blurts out “Iamgay” so fast that there was no way that any of the guys could’ve understood a single word. So, he takes a deep breath and repeats: “I am gay” while standing there, eyes closed, and breath held.

“Oh, that…” Luke starts, but he gets interrupted by Reggie who says: “That makes so much sense, that is why you were staring at Brian so much last year! That really confused me, man!”

“I was... I was not staring at Brian Denver!” Alex sputters embarrassment creeping in his cheeks.

“You totally were, you even knew who Reg was talking about right away!” Luke laughs and gets up to pull Alex in a big hug, squeezing him tight. Reggie gets a hold of them and pulls them down on the couch where he squeezes between them, and wooshes through Alex’ hair affectionately. Alex, now half sitting on the couch and half lying on Reggie looks up to Bobby, who stands awkwardly in front of the couch. As the other two notice Bobby as well they all kind of freeze in their cuddle pile. Even as Bobby was more comfortable touching his bandmates than he was with touching his parents, or literally anyone else, he still never expressed any interest in being part of a cuddle pile before. Seeing how all of his friends stopped as he approached, the guitarist started taking a step back, but Alex stopped him by holding out his hand for Bobby to take. It takes him a few seconds but finally, he lets himself being pulled on top of Alex into the cuddle pile and even though it feels strange at first he likes the feeling of Alex’ soft t-shirt under his cheek, Reggie’s arm around his waist and the smell of Luke’s cologne.

Later that night Bobby snatches a picture of his best friends still cuddling on the couch hours later, now all fast asleep. He hasn’t shown that picture to anyone except for his daughter when she finds out about the band 25 years later and he decides to tell her about the loves of his life, even if most people wouldn’t recognise them as it since it was purely platonic love. And even though he got married, he never loved anyone as much, with the exception of his daughter, as he loved the three boys who left him when he was just 17 years old.

The next day Bobby snatches a picture of Andrews black eye. He shows that picture to Billie Joe, backstage at an event he attempts without his best friends after the man recognises him as the kid with whom he punched a homophobe. After that Bobby leaves the event early, not being able to hold up the image of Trevor, too consumed by grieve and guilt. Guilt over not being able to protect them. Guilt over not dying with them. Guilt over using their songs.

#julie and the phantoms #sunset curve #fantoms #jatp #alex mercer #bobby/trevor wilson #this is a bobby friendly blog #green day #sunset curve loves green day #that should be canon #reggie peters #luke patterson #friendship fanfic #julie and the phantoms before canon #before canon #set in the 90s #dookie tour #idk if i am missing hashtags

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tangledstarlight · 3 years

Text

hello. if you’ve followed me for more then a week you may have seen me talking abuot the alex 5+1 and how its been torturing me for months. well. it is finally done. i think i deserve a reward to myself.

but yes okay. it’s 5 times alex had just the right thing in his fanny pack +1 time that he didn’t.

anyway!! it’s another 5+1 that’s alex centric.

also on ao3 (link in replies!)

trigger warnings! death mentions (because they’re ghosts), mild swearing, mentions of blood and injuries but nothing graphic.

one.

On his tenth birthday his parents took him to the mall and told him he could pick out anything that he wanted from one store, courtesy of his grandparents. Which, for a ten year old, was a big decision to make. Because there were a lot of things that he wanted.

Alex had dragged them from shop to shop, looking through every piece of clothing, every accessory, every record and tape. There were a lot of things to choose from. He really hated having to make a decision.

It was pure luck when he finally found the thing he wanted. Tucked away behind backpacks and satchel bags and flimsy looking tote bags, Alex found the fanny pack. It was dark grey and made a funny sound when he scratched at the material with his nails. It was also the perfect size to fit his inhaler and a snack and a pen and, if he did it right, probably even a single drum stick.

(The brand new and shiny drum kit currently sitting in his garage at home was his main birthday present, and Alex was more than excited for Luke and Reggie and Bobby to come over later and see it, and now he could show them his new fannypack and they could fill it with all the essentials that ten year olds needed.)

Everyday he woke up and got dressed, the fanny pack would find its way buckled across his chest and he’d check it had everything he needed inside. Inhaler and tissues and crumpled up dollar bills and a pen and a snack, just in case. Because Reggie always got hungry and there were only so many times they could bother their parents before they got annoyed.

They’re sitting in tree house that Reggie’s dad had built – back when Reggie’s dad and mom didn’t spend so much time fighting and his older brother was still around and Reggie didn’t flinch at doors banging – scraps of paper and forgotten homework scattered on the wood.

They’re supposed to be doing homework. Like they do every Saturday morning before they all give in to Luke’s pouting and bike over to Bobby’s place to ‘rehearse’, (it’s more like, they’re all playing at the same time in different keys, but they’re eleven. A killer band isn’t created overnight.) but Luke hasn’t shown up yet and Reggie is on his third candy bar and Bobby gave up on maths homework in favour of his game boy. Alex would be more stressed about the turn of events if it didn’t happen every Saturday.

“Jump, jump, jump, dude! You gotta jump!”

“I know, you saying it over and over isn’t helping man,” Bobby grits out and Alex watches as Reggie hovers over his shoulder, eyes wide and practically hanging off his arm.

“Look out for – Oof. So close man. Shoulda jumped,” Reggie pats Bobby on the shoulder, just dodging as the other boy's elbow moves back to try and catch him in the ribs.

“I swear to god Reg –” Bobby starts and Alex is readying himself either to intervene or move out of the way when Luke’s head pops up through the hole on the floor, wide smile and messy hair and eyes gleaming with some kind of mischief.

“Guys!” They watch as he pulls himself up and into the tree house, they’re all knees bumping and elbows narrowly missing sides and Alex spends several long seconds worrying that this will be the day they no longer all fit. That they’ve finally outgrown the tree house. But then Luke shuffles back, dropping his backpack into the centre and Reggie bends one knee to rest his head on and Bobby drops his hands into his lap, game boy still beeping away.

“I had the best idea,” Luke starts, unzipping his bag and rummaging through it for something, “I was watching this film last night, right? I don’t know what it was, one of those weird ones that’s on at 2am. Not the point. Anyway so there was this group of friends right and they were all moving away and didn’t want to stop being friends so they did this blood pack? And Reggie,” he grunts as he pulls a textbook out of his bag and tosses it aside, Alex feels his brows pull together as he starts to follow Lukes train of thought, “The other day you said you were worried about us going up to middle school. So I thought why not do a blood pact?”

Luke still has his attention firmly on his bag, trying to find something, so he misses the alarmed look that Alex shoots at Bobby and the responding grin that graces Reggie’s face. He can see exactly how this will play out. Luke will make the first cut and Reggie will suddenly remember he doesn’t like the sight of blood and Bobby will go too deep and Alex will have to find a way to get the three of them down a tree without crying.

“Dude, we can’t do a blood pact!”

“Why not?” Reggie asks, lips sliding down in a frown.

“Yeah, why not?” Luke echoes and he’s got half of something pulled out of his bag that Alex can’t identify. But it doesn’t look like a knife, so that’s a little reassuring.

“Because,” he starts slowly pointing first at Reggie, “You don't like the sight of blood for starters.”

Alex watches as Reggie’s mouth forms a small ‘o’, his head bobbing up and down as if he’d forgotten that fact, but Luke rolls his eyes and finally pulls his hand out of his bag and with it comes a carton of something.

“I know that, I didn’t mean a real blood pact,” he shakes his head and Alex blinks, thoroughly confused, “The blood bits’ not the important part, it’s just the whole y’know, promising we’ll always be friends. But we still need to do something kinda gross to make it meaningful, so I went and bought tomato juice. It’s why I was late.”

The grin is back on Reggie’s face and even Bobby is nodding along now. Alex looks from the cartoon in Luke's hands to his friends faces before blowing out a sigh because well. It wasn't the worst idea Luke had had and it would be nice. For them to make a pact, to always be friends. For nothing to change between them.

“How do we do this then?” He asks and it's worth it, giving in, to see the bright smile take over Lukes face as he launches into his plan.

Alex should have expected something to go wrong, it was sort of his job in the group. To worry. But he’d gotten so caught up in the moment, in the sentiments and little speeches Luke said they each had to make, that he forgot to worry about the next stage.

It almost happens in slow motion, Bobby reaches for the carton to take his drink at the same moment that Reggie tries to pass it to him and their hands sort of collide mid pass and suddenly the carton is tipping to the side and red liquid is cascading to the floor. All over their still scattered homework.

“Crap!” In his haste to try and stop the still spilled drink Reggie drops the thing entirely, sending even more of it pouring over the wood and creeping towards them. Luke makes a grab for the juice, trying to scoop it up in his hands and if Alex’s mind wasn’t halfway to panic, he’d have probably burst out laughing. On autopilot Alex’s hands reach up for the fanny pack across his chest, pulling the zipper and digging through for the new pack of tissues that he’d stuffed in there that morning. Almost like he knew something was going to happen.

All their homework is ruined – Alex can’t wait to explain this one to their teacher on Monday – and when they all climb down the tree an hour later they all watch as a trail of red slides down the bark. Despite the mess it had caused, Alex has to give it to Luke, the tomato juice really did look like blood. And he feels closer to his three best friends, which he guesses is worth using his whole supply of tissues.

two.

“Fuck!”

It’s not really the first thing Alex wants to hear as he steps into their rehearsal space. Aka Luke’s parent’s basement that they’d reluctantly agreed to let them use until Bobby’s parents agreed to let them clear out their garage. It was so annoying, waiting for their parents to agree to simple things.

His eyes glance around the mostly empty space, jumping from the fold up chairs and second hand amps and his drums and Reggie’s abandoned bass before landing on Bobby who’s kneeling on the ground near the back wall, guitar leaning against the chipped concrete.

“You okay?” Alex says and flinches when Bobby flinches, turning around quickly to look at him. Either Bobby was too wrapped up in whatever was wrong and hadn’t heard him or Alex had finally perfected walking silently and could start sneaking downstairs at night for a snack.

“I just–” he breathes out a sigh, gesturing helplessly at his guitar and for the first time Alex notices the missing string, “It snapped and I can’t get the new one on.”

“Oh,” that doesn’t really seem worth the tense set of Bobby’s shoulders or the slight shaking of his fingers as he tries to get the new string out of the packet. With a small frown Alex kneels down next to his friend and carefully takes the packet out of his hands. “Want some help?”

As soon as the strings are out of his hands Bobby seems to collapse a little, shoulder against the wall and head dropping with a soft thud, eyes following as he opens the pack. Of them all, Bobby is the most closed off about his feelings, which Alex supposes, isn’t actually that weird for a thirteen year old. But when Luke –- who’s never been able to keep emotions off his face or out of his songs -- and Reggie -- who is never shy about laying his head on your shoulder and telling you he’s sad -- are your friends, it gets a little weird. Even Alex knows he’s crap at hiding how he feels about stuff.

They're three open books with a locked vault.

Because Bobby has a special skill of hiding his feelings behind a mask of indifference and jokes that he’s never offered to teach them. Which is normally fine, but sometimes things leak through and one of them notices that somethings wrong, like right now. Alex has watched him restring his guitar without issue so many times before, never once have his fingers shook.

Chewing on his bottom lip, Alex tries to decide if he should push or just wait it out or ask when the others are around so he can’t avoid the question. His last option makes him frown, because he’d hate it if they did that to him. Put him on the spot about something. And what if there wasn’t even anything wrong and Alex was just overthinking it? Maybe Bobby was just tired, or this string was just particularly tricky?

“Dude, I can practically hear you thinking.” Bobby says, huffing out a shallow laugh and Alex’s eyes widen a little as he looks up in time to see him shuffle around so his back is against the wall, legs stretching out in front of him.

“Sorry,” Alex starts, hands freezing in the air.

“Nah it’s--” he shakes his head, one shoulder shrugging as he frowns at nothing, “It’s fine.”

Alex thinks that’s the end of it, that Bobby isn’t going to say anything else and he’ll just have to wait it out and pretend that something isn’t clearly wrong. Putting the string down he pulls his fanny pack around so he can reach the little pocket hidden on the back (he’s pretty sure you’re meant to keep money in it, but well, he rarely has more than a few dollars on him) and pulls out the little multi-tool that his dad had gotten him for Christmas. Something about ‘being a man now’ and how ‘you can help a cute girl out’. So far all he’d used it for was clipping strings and once to unscrew a vent when Luke accidentally pushed his notebook through.

“I think my parents are getting a divorce.”

That almost makes him choke on his own spit, head whipping around to look at Bobby and all thoughts of his dad leaving his head.

“What?” he doesn’t mean to say it so loud, but judging by the way Bobby winces he must have practically shouted it. “Sorry, I just--” he doesn’t know what to say, mouth opening wordlessly. None of them have the best home lives, all their relationships with their parents have their issues.

But Bobby’s have always been -- well not the most reliable, but most consistent. Together, but distant. Together, but not home each weekend. Together, but happy? Alex feels a little like his world view has been tilted. Because if anyone's parents should be getting a divorce, shouldn’t it be Reggie’s? He bites at his lip at the thought, instantly regretting it.

“Pretty sure my mom caught my dad sleeping with his secretary,” he says with a small frown, wiping his cheek across his shoulder and Alex drops the multi-tool on top of the string and shuffles his way across the floor until he’s sitting next to Bobby, backs against the wall. “Which is pretty fucking cliche of him. But yeah. I caught them fighting about it last night.”

Alex doesn’t know what to say or do. This isn’t exactly a conversation he’d come prepared for or thought he’d ever have to have. Alex was still trying to remember his new school schedule, he didn’t have the time to prepare for possible emotional family conversations. He wishes Luke was here, or Reggie, so he didn’t feel so much pressure to say the right thing.

“That sucks man,” he blows out a breath, drawing his knees up so he can rest his hands on his things, fingers tapping across his jeans. “You wanna stay at mine tonight? We can rent Back to the Future and eat my sisters stash of popcorn?”

“Can we get the second one too?” There’s a slight smile tugging at Bobby’s lips and Alex returns it, fingers stilling as he feels some of the tension in his shoulders release.

“Course man, can’t just watch the first.”

three.

There was an unspoken knowledge in their friend group.

Luke had a tendency to get into fights he couldn’t win.

Sure, they were almost always in deference of Reggie or Bobby or him, but Alex really wished he’d stop getting into them. Or would at least start to win. Honestly, you’d think by now that Luke would know how to throw a better punch, or least know how to dodge one.

It was a little embarrassing, the amount of fights that Luke had lost -- not that Luke saw it that way. Any fight that resulted in him sporting a black eye or split lip, not his friends, was a win to him. Which was a nice sentiment, but Alex was fairly sure that his idiotic heroics were going to give him a heart attack one day.

Luke’s constant scrapes were why Alex had started to carry around band-aids and disinfectant and bandages in the first place. All stored carefully in his fanny pack along with his inhaler and extra guitar picks and a granola bar for Reggie.

It was also why Alex wasn’t all that surprised when Luke found him after school, holding his wrist carefully against his chest with one hand and trying to wipe a dribble of blood off his lip on his shoulder. A split lip, a scrap across his cheek, and once he got a better look, Alex was pretty sure he’d find split knuckles too.

“Have you got a band-aid or something?” Luke’s words come out a little mumbled as he tries not to reopen the cut on his lip and Alex just raises an eyebrow at him. A band-aid? Really?

Squeezing his eyes shut for a moment Alex mentally counts to ten, reminds himself that his friend probably has a valid reason for looking like this.

Even though it’s only been twenty minutes since he last saw him. All he had to do was wait by their bikes while Alex went to talk to their history teacher about something. Twenty minutes alone and he’d found himself a fight.

“That’s –” he starts, then shakes his head, letting his shoulders drop as he breathes out a sigh and reopens his eyes, “Okay. Come on.”

Most of the school has cleared out as he leads them towards an empty bench, pushing Luke down onto it and pulling at the zip of his fanny pack to dig out the little homemade first aid kit he’d put together in a ziplock bag.

“Do I want to ask what happened?” He holds out a hand palm up for Luke to put his injured one in, biting his lip as he inspect the split skin and dried blood. It’s not as bad as he’d thought it would be, and it means Luke at least got one punch in this time.

“Some guys were laughing cause Bobby tripped getting on the bus and-” Luke hisses out a breath as Alex pours some water over his hand and starts gently dabbing at the cuts with a tissue, “Reggie dropped his bag when he tried to help him up. And I told ‘em it wasn’t funny and they said it was and I said it wasn’t and–- you get it.”

Luke shrugs up at him, starts trying to chew on his bottom lip before remembering it’s hurt and gives Alex a sheepish smile. Which is just annoying. Because Alex is the one trying to be annoyed here, trying to keep a stern look at his face even as locks of blonde hair fall in front of his eyes and he has to blow them away.

“You know you don’t have to start a fight every time someone’s mean to us, right?” He balls up the damp bloody tissue to put in the bin later and reaches for the cheap roll of bandages that he’d swiped from his mom's first aid kit at home. (All his medical knowledge comes from his mom, from watching her volunteer at church feats and garden parties as to who to go to when you got a little hurt. For someone with such a fully stocked box of medical tools, she sure did just pass out band-aids and suggest a glass of water a lot.)

“First, I didn’t actually start this fight. The one with the lip piercing threw the first punch,” Luke points his uninjured hand at him, like he’s just made a good argument before his lips pull down into a frown. “And I know I don’t have to. But I–- People are mean to you guys about stuff that doesn’t make sense. I don’t like that. Plus everyone knows that you guys would never do anything back, except maybe Bobby if it was really bad, and I just want them to know I think their assholes.”

It feels like there's more to it then that, Luke doesn't supply anymore insights into his thought process and Alex is too worried about their upcoming history text to push it today.

"You’re so-” Alex starts but stops himself, rolling his eyes as he ties off the bandage and shakes his head at Luke. “That’s a really stupid reason to get in all these fights, you do know that right?”

“Yup!” He inspects his hand, the off-white bandage wrapping around his knuckles and flexes his fingers to test how tight it’s tied, then his eyes drift to the ziplock bag and the band-aids, “You got any of those cool glow in the dark ones?”

Alex opens his mouth, closes it, opens it again, but no words come out. It still surprises him, even after being friends for so long, how willing Luke is to get hurt for them. How he doesn’t seem to see any issue with it. He really hopes that one day he won’t feel the need to take a punch for any of them, that he won’t need to. But until then Alex supposes he doesn’t mind being a fourteen year old first responder. It’s kinda fun, sometimes. Like when he gets to dictate who gets which band-aid.

“You used the last glow in the dark one on Sunday. So you’re stuck with trucks.”

He’s still wearing the band-aid with little trucks on a dirt track across his cheek when he comes into school the next day and Alex really tries to stay annoyed at him. But it’s kinda hard when the only reason he’s got the cut is because he loves his friends. So Alex just rolls his eyes fondly and makes a mental note to ask his mom for glow in the dark band-aids when she next goes to the store.

four.

“You think Ron’s got the new Garth Brooks record?”

At least, that’s what Alex thinks Reggie asks, because it’s more like a mumbled group of sounds as the other boy stuffs a large forkful of pasta into his mouth. He glances at Luke, eyebrow raised to see if he’d understood the question right. And judging by the face Luke pulls, he thinks he did.

“I mean, probably. But we’ve been over this. No country in the van.”

Alex knows he’s trying to look stern and serious, Reggie knows it too. But Luke’s nose is scrunched up and his eyebrows are drawn together and his lower lip almost looks like it’s about to start quivering. Stern and serious isn’t the first thought that comes to mind. Cute, adorable, puppy like, sure. Stern or angry? Never.

“You’re just jealous,” Reggie starts, gulping as he swallows his mouthful and makes them both wait as he dramatically takes a sip of his soda too, “You wish you could do a country twang. It’s okay Luke-y, not everyone is musically gifted.”

He bites the end of his straw to keep from laughing at the look of annoyance that crosses Luke’s face, the desired reaction if Reggie’s widening grin is anything to go by.

“Dude you’ve done it now,” he mutters softly, but he can’t really find it in him to be too mad about the rant that Reggie has just triggered. Because it’s the first time in weeks that Reggie has smiled fully, and the bruise on his left cheekbone is now a faded purple and the arm he had been extra careful about touching is resting full length on the table as he taps the end of his fork on the wood.

Luke seems to know it too, if the gentle smile that briefly crosses his face when Reggie looks away for a moment is anything to go by. It had been to Luke's house that he’d run too, and Alex is honestly pretty proud of his friend for not leaping out his bedroom window to go fight Reggie’s dad the second he’d shown up. Alex was fairly confident that if Reggie asked to play nothing but country music for the next ten years Luke would agree if it meant they’d get to see his full blown smile without hints of sadness.

Sometimes, Alex wished he had half the confidence and determination that Luke had. Wished that when his fight or flight instincts were put to the test his reaction wasn’t flight. That he wasn’t always a little bit terrified of what would happen if he was honest with everyone, of what would happen if he threw a punch instead of trying to talk something out.

Probably just result in spending more money on band-aids and bandages.

Blinking the thoughts from his head, the blonde tunes back into the conversation. Pros and cons of having one country song on their demo.

“Come on! We’d all so rock a cowboy hat,” Reggie punctuated his point by stabbing his fork into the table, plastic progs snapping and flying into the air. “Fuck sake,” he mutters, a little mournfully as he pulls his arm back in to look at the one remaining bent prong and then down at his still half full container of pasta.

“I think the fork disagrees with the cowboy hats,” Luke grins, flicking one of the little plastic pieces at Reggie who just pouts for a moment longer.

And Alex can see where his brain goes, can practically track the thought process and the solution he comes up with as Reggie tosses his fork at Luke and starts to try and pick up the food with his fingers. But before he gets that far, Alex is pulling another fork out of his fanny pack, metal and wrapped in a napkin.

(Someone had once said to be prepared for all possible situations. Sixteen year old Alex had decided that meant he should start carrying extra cutlery around. Just in case. In case of what, he hadn’t known, but apparently it wasn’t a totally crazy idea, so screw you Bobby for laughing at it.)

“Here.”

Reggie accepts the fork, pout turning to a smile and sticking his tongue out at Luke who just rolls his eyes.

“Alex’ll do a country song with me, won’t you?” Both pairs of eyes are looking at him now and he doesn’t know if Reggie is being a 100% serious about a country song for their demo or wearing cowboy hats on stage, but he does know that either way it’ll make Luke do his cute angry face again and well. Alex can’t resist making him make that face.

“Oh yeah. We’d rock cowboy hats.”

five.

Being dead was -- not what Alex had expected. And it’s a little weird, because growing up he’d spent a lot of time thinking about what happened after you died. Where you went and what you could do and who would be there.

His parents were very insistent on ‘be a good person in life, don’t commit any sins and get into heaven’ so, when they’d died and ended up in a dark room, Alex had thought that was proof that being gay really was a sin and his parents had been right and now he’d dragged his best friends into hell with him. Luke might blame himself for them dying, and Reggie might blame himself for them being eternity linked, but Alex would always blame himself for that 25 year black room limbo.

Even if it wasn’t his fault. But he couldn’t convince the others that it wasn’t their fault, and they couldn’t convince him it wasn’t his fault and it was a loop they’d been stuck in for months now.

Julie called them all idiots for it. Fondly. With an eye roll. And a gentle smile when she’d pull them into a group hug.

Because they could do that now.

Hug her. So they did it a lot.

Group hugs and side hugs and high fives and piling onto her bed on a Sunday afternoon to watch one of the many Disney films they’d missed out on. They all latched onto her more than they already had.

Julie had pulled them out of the dark room -- hell -- and back into the light and then she’d saved them from zapping out of existence. Reggie might insist she was a witch and Luke would say a star, but Alex, who had a pretty rocky relationship with religion and God, was fairly confident in calling Julie an angel. (He was also willing to bet good money on in a fight, between a god, death and Julie, that Julie would win.)

And she didn’t seem to mind that they’d gotten a little...clingy over the last few months since the zapping had stopped. Which was nice, that they hadn’t annoyed her enough to send them packing yet. That she seemed just as attached to them as they were to her.

It’s with that thought in his mind that Alex knocks on her bedroom door. Julie loves them, Julie only invokes the boundaries rule when they snoop through her stuff, Julie isn’t about to tell them to leave because Alex is a little bored. At least he hopes she won’t.

“Come in.”

He almost misses her response, both because of his mildly spiralling thoughts and because her voice is soft, quite. Now his thoughts turn to worry as he pokes his head through the doors, eyes immediately landing on Julie tucked into her bed, surrounded by pillows and curtains closed. His brows pull together as he hesitantly steps through the door.

“Are you okay?” He asks, trying to keep his voice as low as hers had been. Slowly she lifts her head from the pillow, brushing curls out of her eyes as she looks at him with a small smile.

“Oh Alex, hey. I-- yeah, I’m fine. Just--” she trails off, blinks a little blearily at him and for the first time he realises that he’s woken her up. Shit. “Not feeling too great. Was trying to nap.”

“Shit, sorry, I’ll go. I didn’t know you weren’t well, I’ll um yeah. I’ll go.” He’s got half his leg through the door when she calls his name, a slight laugh in her voice and looks at her over his shoulder.

“It’s okay, you can stay. I wasn’t really getting much rest anyway.”

He opens his mouth to ask if she’s sure, but Julie’s already shuffling around in her bed, moving pillows and lifting the duvet for him to climb in next to her. Alex hesitates for a moment, bites his cheek before turning around fully and walking over, kicking his shoes off before sliding under the cover and making himself comfy.

“Why do you have so many pillows?” He asks, fluffing one up behind his head and moving another one to fill the space between the edge of the bed and the little side table.

“Don’t know,” she shrugs, and he knows she’s watching him with amusement when he repositions the pillow next to her head so it’s straight. He frowns a little at her answer because, well, that’s not really an answer. How does one person have like, ten pillows on their bed and not know why or how?

“That's not-- okay,” he sighs, letting it go, because now that he’s next her, Alex can see she’s shivering a little and her cheeks look flushed and on instinct he reaches out his hand to lay it against her forehead. She lets out a small hiss and Alex moves to move away when her hand comes up, warm fingers wrapping around his wrist to keep his hand in place.

“Stay there, your hands are cold, they feel nice.” And well, they might make fun of Luke for not being able to say no to Julie, but so far he hasn’t been able to do it yet either. So he keeps his hand on her forehead and moves his other to gently cup her chin and part of her cheek until he’s basically holding her head up in his hands, he watches as her eyes flutter shut.

“Have you taken anything?” He tries to keep his voice quiet, not wanting to disturb her too much but her eyes open and she shakes her head, blowing out a sigh as she moves herself out of his hold, head hitting one of her many pillows.

“All we have is cough syrup and dad’s out and I didn’t want to bother Victoria.”

So she’d taken herself to bed and tried to tackle whatever illness she had alone? Alex frowns at her, lets out a small tut as he pulls his fanny pack across his chest, unzips it and roots around for the ziplock bag of first aid things before pulling out a half used pack of paracetamol, leaving the bag on the bed. He’s dead, and so are his most clumsy friends, they don’t really need band-aids anymore.

There’s a bottle of water on the table next to him which Alex grabs, pops out two of the little white tablets and passes them both to Julie, who raises her eyebrows at him, but accepts.

“You know you’ve got three ghosts who would have happily gone to a store to get you something if you’d asked, right?” He’s sort of teasing, but sort of not as he watches her sink back against the pillows, water bottle still in her grasp. Turning her head a little, just enough so she can see him she shoots him a small smile.

“Didn’t want to bother you guys. You're my friends, not my personal shoppers and yesterday Luke had to go to the store because we forgot milk. Don’t won’t you thinking I’m just using you for your ghostly teleportation,” she says it like a joke, but there’s a sad sort of look in her eyes. The kind of look he used to see in Reggie’s back when they were kids and he thought they’d get annoyed with him. It had never even occurred to Alex that Julie might think they’d get fed up with her.

“Jules, you let us live in your garage. For free. The least we can do is the occasional magical shop,” he shuffles down in the bed until his head is resting on a pillow and they’re eye to eye, “And anyway, you could never bother us. We kinda owe our whole existence to you and you’re family and if you need help it’s a no questions asked type situation.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

She looks at him for a moment, eyes searching his face for something before she lets out a breath, shoulders relaxing and then she’s shuffling across the bed to lay her head on his shoulder, hair tickling his cheek but he doesn’t mind. Alex brings one arm up around her back and pulls her closer, tugging the duvet up to cover them a little more. They lie in silence for a while, Alex idly drumming his fingers on her upper arm and Julie tracing the letters on his hoodie. He doesn’t mean to pop the little peaceful bubble they’ve created but a thought shoves its way to the forefront of his mind and his fingers still.

“Hey uh, so do you think paracetamol goes out of date? Because that one I gave you is at least twenty-six years old.”

+one

Maybe, if Alex hadn’t been so wrapped up in his own head and trying to work through all of the sudden changes in his life, he would have noticed sooner.

At least, that’s what he’s going to tell himself and anyone else who might ask. He had a lot going on. He couldn’t possibly notice everything. Even something as big as this.

So yeah, he was going to blame all the crazy shit in his life for his sudden obliviousness.

The skate park was mostly empty when he got there – he forgot how long it could take to get somewhere when you couldn’t just poof into existence wherever you wanted. Being dead might have been bad, but he really missed the teleporting powers – which made sense, because the sun was starting to set and the air was growing colder. But he could hear the sound of wheels on concrete in the distance and followed it.

For a while, Alex just watched. He had never really cared all that much about skateboarding before (and honestly, he didn’t care all that much about it now, but he did like a certain skater an awful lot), but he had to admit it was fascinating to watch. The coordination and the skill and the lack of fear about falling.

Alex had always been scared about falling, physically and mentally and in love.

About hitting the ground and getting hurt and not being able to get back up. And he had fallen a lot. Out of a treehouse and down stairs. Had been pushed down. On concrete and on grass. Had been hurt. Luke and Reggie had always been there to help him back up though.

It didn’t mean it didn’t still scare him shitless. Falling.

Because what if one day he fell and there was no one to help him back up? What if one day he fell and everyone around him decided he was too much effort to help back up? What if one day he fell and staying down just seemed like the better option?

It was supposed to be one of the perks of coming back as a ghost. Of knowing that if he fell he couldn’t physically get hurt, and that Luke and Reggie would be there because they were always there and he was dead, falling in love shouldn’t have been a worry.

Of course, then he’d gone and got knocked off his feet, stinging palms and phantom bruises and hair flipping as the rest of the street blurred and all he could see was Willie.

And suddenly he was falling. Physically and mentally and in love.

Which was pretty fucking crazy. Who fell in love at first sight anyway? That wasn’t supposed to be a real thing. It was supposed to be something you read about or saw in silly cheesy rom-coms or from songs that people in love wrote.

So he’d met Willie, had fallen face first onto the ground, literally, and into like and then into love and then into life again.

It was a lot.

It was too much.

Too much change and more change and changing back and unanswered questions.

Was it really so hard to send a couple of ghost handbooks down?

So Alex had gone for a walk, to clear his head, to sort through his thoughts, to get a grip on the feeling of falling. He’d ended up at the skate park without really meaning too, not that he’d had any real destination in mind.

Sitting on a bench, he pressed two fingers to the pulse point on his wrist, counting the beats –- it’s been a few weeks and he’s still not used to having a beating heart, is always a little worried it’s all some big trick and he’ll wake up one day back as a ghost -– as he watches Willie go down a ramp and flip his board mid air.

Still being able to see with Willie was one of the many unanswered questions that he had.

(Maybe he should start making a list. Not that he thought he’d ever get any answers for them, but it might be nice. To have a list of all the questions about his death and his after life and his re-life. He could call it Tales of BHD (before hot-dog death). Julie might have some comments.)

Deep down Alex knew he shouldn’t question it. They’d been given a second chance, it was a miracle and magic and amazing. But he’d never done very well with questions without answers. He wished he could accept it as easily as Luke and Reggie and Julie had. That it was love or a gift or will power. It didn’t seem very likely, but he wasn’t about to argue it.

They’d been dead. Now they weren’t. It was a miracle.

He might have thought so if he could still hug Willie. But it was like when they’d first met Julie, he reached out to touch his shoulder, his hand, and passed right through him. Alex now knows how Luke felt and kind of feels bad for ever teasing him about. A re-lifer being in love with a ghost is kinda painful. And yet, he can’t seem to stop himself from seeking Willie out. No one’s ever called Alex the smart one.

There’s a sudden crashing sound, wood hitting concrete and Willie letting out a string of curse words and Alex immediately zeros in on him. On the ground. Without really stopping to think about it Alex is up off the bench and running the short distance until he’s next to him by the time Willie has pushed himself up onto his knees.

“Shit are you okay?” He reaches out a hand, to touch his shoulder, to help him up, he doesn’t know. But stops himself short. Because he can’t touch him, and every time that his hand phases through they both look away sadly.

“I’m– yeah I’m good. Had worse spills,” there’s a toothy smile on his face as he says it, but Willie’s eyes have caught on Alex’s still outstretched hand, a sadness flashes across his eyes quickly before vanishing.

Alex just stands there a little awkwardly, stuffing his hands into his pockets, as he watches Willie stand up, wincing a little at some unknown injury – which okay, when he thinks back on it, that should have been his first sign.

“What ha–” Alex starts, but his eyes catch on Willie’s knees and the blood slowly spilling down his leg from a cut. “Shit you’re bleeding! You said you were fine!” He doesn’t mean to sound so accusational, but well, how can he help if no one tells him when they're hurt?

Willie looks at him in confusion before down at his legs, eyes widening at the blood and Alex starts to worry that the other boy might faint. Does he not like the sight of blood? Oh god, he should probably sit down before he gets more hurt.

“Sit down I should have something for it, hang on.” Without thinking, Alex puts his hand on Willie’s shoulder and guides him back down to the ground, to the lip off the end of one of the ramps and makes sure he’s sat before turning his attention to his fanny pack. His fingers catch on a drum stick, a lip balm, one of Julie’s scrunchies, his inhaler, but no ziplock bag of first aid. Shit. He’d left it in Julie’s room, months ago. Because he’d been dead. And hadn’t needed any of it. Fuck.

He looks back at Willie, mouth opening to tell him the bad news, but Willie is already looking at him with wide, scared eyes. He has one hand gripping the side of the ramp and his other is resting over his chest. Over his heart.

“Alex,” he starts and that’s when Alex realises that he doesn’t look scared. It's shock. There’s tears pooling in his eyes and, like a bus hitting him, Alex realises that his hand hadn’t phased through when he’d guided him to sit down.

“You– I– What?” Is all he gets out, which doesn’t make any sense but Willie seems to get it because he nods his head. And then Willie is standing up, hissing a little as he unbends his knee and dimly, Alex is aware that it’s started bleeding a little again, but all that is second to the feeling of Willie carefully, slowly, gently, reaching for his hand. And holding it. Fingers linking. Solid and real and warm. With his other hand Alex reaches for his neck, lays his fingers against soft skin and feels for a pulse. For the fluttering of a heartbeat and lets out a wet laugh when he finds it. He doesn’t know when he started crying, but it doesn’t matter.

Alex uses the hand that Willie is still holding to pull the other boy towards him, lets the fingers on his neck slip around until his arm is around his back, and is pulling him into a hug he’s been craving for a month.

“How?” It’s the first thing Willie says as he pulls away, not far, because Alex had let out a small whine as he’d tried to step away and wasn’t even ashamed of it.

“I have no idea,” he shrugs, because he doesn’t. He has no answers for any of this. But he’s willing to not question it, he decides, if he and the people he loves most in the world get a second chance at life. Together. “I’m starting to not question these things and just say thank you.”

Willie laughs then, a little watery, but still bright and kind and so full of life that no one would have ever known he’d been a ghost a short while ago.

“Fair enough,” they’re still stood close together, hands awkwardly intertwined between them and Alex’s fingers are tangled in his hair. But neither of them make any move to pull away. Willie pulls a face, lips twisting to the side and Alex raises an eyebrow at him, “Where the hell am I going to live now? Caleb already hated that I've been sleeping at the club, he's never gonna let me back in now."

Now it’s Alex’s turn to laugh, shaking his head a little at the question, because at least this one he has an answer too. He detangles his fingers from Willie’s hair carefully and takes a half step away, just enough for him to properly hold his hand, pulling him over to his abandoned skateboard.

“Well, lucky for you, I happen to know the coolest girl with the coolest dad who likes to take in stray used to be ghosts.”

Willie picks up his skateboard and when Alex starts to walk, pulls them to a stop, a worried little crease between his brows as he looks at him.

“Are you sure Julie will be cool with me crashing with you all? I don’t want to like, intrude or get in the way.”

“I’m pretty sure she’d re-kill me if I didn’t bring you home with me,” Alex shakes his head, a little fondly and with a little exasperation. But this time, when he starts to walk, pulling Willie along with him, his boyfriend doesn’t stop them. And if this is what unanswered questions gets him, well Alex will learn to live with them.

#julie and the phantoms #alex mercer #julie molina #luke patterson #reggie peters #willie #willie jatp #alex x willie #jatp #jatp fic #bobby wilson #trevor wilson #wait. what tag do you use for him fuck fgdhjs #rosie vs writing #*#still haven't sorted out a fic master list or a tag should really do that huh #*fics

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newswcanonprompts · 4 years

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prompt #37 - Jedi are like Magpies and love their clones

sorry we haven’t posted in forever! to make up for it, i’m posting one of our longest and detailed prompts (maybe even the longest)- this came from a LONG discussion a few weeks back, and it was a lot of fun. this idea morphed a ton, and it became this huge thing. this is personally my favorite one, so hope you enjoy!

Jedi collect trinkets and wear them!!! Hand them to others as a very important gift

The Clones dont really get it, but they are happy

The jedi make them things like jewelry, keychains, little beaded things, colored strings, they’ll give them feathers, you name it

Its another way to show that they are individuals, and that the jedi know them specifically

The veteran clones have long keychain type things and the shiny clones want them very much and it’s something they look forward to

The padawans hand the commanders things and being sad when the CC’s tell them they can’t take them into battle

Krell gets found out earlier.

“Okay, look, i know krell is… well, he is *something* and i don’t want to accuse a master of the order but have you looked at his men?! where the hell are their keychains?!”

The padawans stage a protest at the senate because how else are they going to make sure that their troops know they are loved and get their trinkets

This idea can get angsty really quickly (finding trinkets after battles, in ship crashes, or post-order 66), but we won’t do that because of how angsty this server already is, we need some fluff sometimes

Palaptine can commit self delete

Clones will paint armor for padawans cause that is how they show honor and stuff

The clones, upon figuring out what they mean, give their jedi trinkets also

Mirialan padawan holding armor they got: “ITS GREEN LIKE ME!”

There are little figurines, some painted rocks, some little shiny things found on the battlefield

The clones who aren’t as good with their hands singing songs or telling stories

The jedi record them and keep them on little datachips that they keep on them at all times

Barriss doesn’t go bad because this is happy time

The jedi padawans start a riot / protest outside the senate building because some clones got their trinkets taken away by asshole civilians because they’re “not human”, just copies

The (now very pissed off) jedi sprung into action

If a snooty senator(s) takes away a clone’s trinket, the jedi just sit back and grind to a halt. Because if the clones, the PEOPLE WHO PROTECT THE REPUBLIC, are gonna get treated like that, the war can wait

The jedi knights and masters just meditate wherever the padawans are protesting

This is done to ‘keep the peace’

If anakin hears a snooty senator degrade the clones, he starts ranting and shouting about their individuality and accomplishments, while pointing at each trinket.

Someone live streams this

Luminara joins in (barriss is right behind)

Aayla too

Luminara, anakin, aayla, tag teamed shouted speech

Ahsoka and barriss are being held back by the CC’s (ahsoka is making some very crude hand gestures and barriss is like “i can name every bone in your body as i break it” - cause barriss has all that healer knowledge)

Once these three are done, mace windu comes along with the council. They think mace is going to scold the three of them until mace starts shouting at the senators too. The council just lets mace do all the talking.

This is the most watched live stream this year. It’s very funny and starts a ton of memes (obi wans face, yoda meditating, the look of “oh shit” on the original snooty senator’s face, the look of surprise on everyone when mace starts shouting too - there is also a gif made of the council looking at the situation, looking at themselves (mostly mace) and then they all step back to let mace do the talking, the clones faces when they see that three jedi and then the jedi high council are defending them)

Mace, rolling up his sleeves: “okay let’s do this”

The senators: backing away in fear

Obi wan might commit a war crime right now because no way people can talk about his troops like that

Obi wan: “am i allowed to kill a senator?”

Cody: “General, do not-”

This whole thing leads to a massive debate and overwhelmingly good PR for the jedi and clones

Shady sheev doesn’t like that. Good PR for the jedi? No thank you. But since this is a fixit he gets his ass kicked later on so everything’s fine (skeevy sheev has to scramble to try to fix his plans though)

All the padawans from that one lightsaber episode (the one on ilum where the younglings got their kyber crystals) are there and SHIT’S GOING DOWN

Petro in particular is very close to kicking someone’s ass

Caleb dume is there also.

“Master depa said we should never raise our blades in revenge or anger. But this is not revenge.” this is war, this is justice, this is defense of a defenseless group

Padme also joins in all of this (but much more calmly)

She also might make some passive aggressive comments about the snooty senators trash outfit

She and all her senator friends are gonna blacklist the original culprit

Padme and bail organa (they also got help from many jedi) put in the clone rights bill the next day

In the halls outside the debate chamber, padme threatens to gut people with her hair pins if they don’t vote in her favor

sure, it’s *technically* extortion, but come on, who’s gonna stop her? those pins are pointy y’all

Anakin tried to help draft / present the bill but he spent most of his time ranting about the injustices the clones have to face (leia had to get it from someone)

Anakin, out of breath: “AND ALL YOU SENATORS JUST SIT HERE, DOING NOTHING, WHEN THEY’RE OUT THERE DYING FOR YOU-”

Padme: “okay ani i got this, drink some water please”

Ahsoka also jumps in

Plo, who’s watching the debate: “little ‘soka, please don’t hurt anyone” (but he’s not about to stop her, after all these are his sons we’re talking about)

If someone said “well they’re not slaves?” anakin would go OFF. if you thought he was angry before… you got another thing coming.

“I AM A FREED SLAVE! I KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE! THESE MEN HAVE LESS RIGHTS THAN I DID AS A SLAVE!”

If the public doesn’t know about his childhood before, they do now

Imagine the shock

Padme: “Ani, deep breaths, it’s gonna be okay.”

Also padme, to the other senators: “well i mean he’s not wrong you assholes”

Padme is also making very well timed comments and suggestions. It’s the most successful day she’s had since she became senator

She’s also revealing all the senators’ dirty secrets

Padme: “oh, senator so-and-so, i released all your finances and your voting history on the holonet. I’m sure your supporters will love that you’re embezzling funds. Oh, you lost your support? Tragic.”

The jedi also have dirt on everyone and they just casually let everything slip like they weren’t secrets

Shady sheev Palpacreep is in his little podium thing during the debate, and he is very pissed, because his plan is getting ruined, but he can’t let it show or else people will discover the truth about him

Anakin: “isn’t it great that we’re finally doing something about it?”

Sheev, pained: “Of course-”

This whole debate is still live streamed - and it’s very popular

The senate who made the original comment and started all of this is #cancelled

This is the greatest thing the galaxy has ever seen / watched because drama

If a jedi dies, and they aren’t brought back to the temple, they are burned with the other dead on the battlefield. Young padawans take their master’s trinkets in remembrance, wanting to follow their path and have tangible proof that the master passed into the force but that they left their mark in the world

You do not burn the trinkets. Krell tried once. It almost started a jedi civil war (maybe that’s how he gets found out)

Or maybe krell was found out because he gives zero trinkets to his men, and everyone caught on and were like “hey wtf man”

But if you wanna make it angsty ( cough cough umbara ) then krell tells the 501st to remove / burn / throw out their trinkets or he’d do it for them

He gives them an example by slicing a very special one that anakin and ahsoka both gave to rex

Krell also slices one of dogma’s. It was the only one dogma had because he was newish to the battalion at the time and wasn’t sure if accepting the trinkets was against regs or not. Krell slashes it and dogma doesn’t say anything but there were tears in his eyes

All the jedi who find out what happened replace all the trinkets so fast. They also give krell’s men a shit ton of presents.

Krell’s men have no idea what to do with them, but they are so touched a few shed tears when they get them

The clones get small tattoos of patterns that the little padawans drew for the men

The tattoos are small because some of them *might* just be random squiggles but the padawans looked so happy the clones just had to get them tattooed

Anakin orders japor wood with padme's bank account to make snippets for the clones because it’s not only a jedi thing, it’s from anakin's homeworld - and that’s like the highest praise you can get from him

The clones might not know exactly what it means but they know its super special

Padme figures out a way to buy japor wood in bulk. Anakin is very touched by this

When snooty senators start badmouthing clones, yoda just sits there and meditates to drive the senators nuts

“Sitting, i am, because stand you bitches, i cannot”

Padme gets many trinkets from the 501st because they all *know* about her and anakin

Any trinkets that she gets she likes to incorporate into her outfits (like the warrior fashionista that she is)

She embroiders some of them into her dresses and hairpieces

They both get a TON of trinkets when the twins are born

Padme also gives trinkets to the 501st, some of the 212th, and all of the coruscant guard. Especially fox cause she sees all the work he does and the senators he has to deal with

She’s besties with the coruscant guard. Like yeah, she knows the 501st and they know about her and anakin (and she’s one of them because of it) but the guard is who she’s always with

She probably wore red on debate day to represent them

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multi-obsessed-fanfic-writer · 3 years

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Bet On It Part 2 (Draco x Reader)

Author’s Note: And it’s finally up! This is a part two to Bet On It, but it honestly only kinda mentions it once near the end so it can also be read stand alone. I hope this doesn’t seem rushed, but I had an idea and ran with it so I hope all of you like it as much as Bet On It. As always, feedback is appreciated and I can’t wait to continue writing! Requests are open, have a great day <3

Summary: You’ve been doing fine with your life so far. Draco’s your fiancé and you’re good at your job. But what happens when there’s a transfer into your division at the ministry that wants to shake things up?

Bet On It Part 2

Draco Malfoy x Reader

Word Count: 5.2k

Warnings: reg warnings - angst, fluff, a curse word maybe?, etc. // TW!! - unwanted advances & mentions of rape, please don’t read if that will hurt you in any way mentally or otherwise. I’ve included a warning section before the trigger material happens so you can skip over that if you want, or you can just skip this story. I want you guys to stay safe <3

“Draco! Come on, we’re going to be late!” You chastise your fiancé as you grab your wand and coat.

“Darling, you say that as if we can’t just teleport to work. Come on, I’ll apparate us there.” Draco smirks at you, grabbing your waist and pulling you to his chest. You’re about to reach up and give him a sweet kiss when all of the sudden you’re no longer in your apartment. You look around, slightly disoriented, at your new surroundings outside the Ministry of Magic.

You let out a huff and break away from him, wrapping your scarf around your neck that you had been carrying. It’s wintertime, and you are not one keen on freezing to death outside of your work.

“You could have told me,” You mumble, burrowing in your coat and scarf. Draco chuckles.

“Oh, come on. It was kind of funny.” He softly grabs your wrist and pulls you back into him, planting a sweet kiss on your nose. You giggle and pull him back for a real kiss to which he accepts instantly, wrapping his arms around your waist as your arms snake around his neck.

“We should probably go to work,” You whisper, your lips brushing against his. He groans.

“Do we have to?” He grumbles, kissing you again. You laugh

“Yes, Draco, we’re already here. They don’t pay us to kiss all day.” You pull away from him just slightly, looking at him with such adoration that it would take a fool to not see that you’re utterly in love with him.

“We’re lucky they’re letting us stay together, I suppose.” He sighs, releasing you from his grasp.

“We were a previously established couple, Draco. They can’t break us up because we’re not breaking department rules by ‘dating co-workers.’” You roll your eyes, stepping away from him and starting into the building. Draco follows closely behind.

“Whatever you say, darling. I’ve got a meeting this morning but we’ll grab lunch later, okay? I love you.” He gives you a chaste kiss on your cheek before walking swiftly away to his office. You smile to yourself and sit down at your desk.

Yes, Draco is slightly higher-up in the auror business here. It doesn’t bother you, though, because everyone in this office (including Draco) knows you’ve got just as much skill as him, just not the Malfoy name attached to you. Yet, that is. That will be different a few months from now.

“(Y/n), did you hear that someone’s transferring into the office today? They’ll work beside Draco, filling Lawrence’s old position.” Your friend and co-worker, who sits conveniently at the desk beside you, gossips.

“Oh, really? I didn’t think they’d get a transfer for his position, I heard that they were going to promote someone instead.” Your heart sinks a little bit. You were hoping for that promotion so you’d get an office like Draco, and a title that matches. The two of you are an unstoppable duo, and it’s a pity that the department can’t see past your relationship to make their division work as efficiently as possible. Oh, well. You’ll get promoted one day, and you’re determined to work as hard as you must to get there.

“I hear he’s dreamy, though. Too bad we can’t date co-workers,” She sighs next to you, momentarily forgetting about work. You chuckle.

“I’m lucky I don’t have to worry about that rule. I’m not sure I’d be working here anymore if I did.” You smile lightly, looking at the criminal documents before you that you had left to sign. You internally sigh, dreading this part of the job. You just wanted to get back on the field, but unfortunately, there is only one case out right now and it wasn’t assigned to you.

About an hour of paperwork drones on before you hear your name get called.

“(Y/n), may I speak with you?” Draco calls out, and you look up to see him standing in the doorway of his office. You smile and nod, standing up from your desk.

“Ooh, some alone time with the fiancé, hm?” Your friend teases you. You roll your eyes but the smile stays on your face as you push your chair in and step into Draco’s office.

“Yes, Draco?” You hum, leaning your hands on the chair in front of you. He motions for you to close the door behind you and you do so. You grin at him from the door and make your way to him. You wrap your arms around his torso and kiss the underside of his jaw.

“As much as I’d love to just hold you, (Y/n), this is unfortunately work-related.” He sighs, still wrapping his arms around you and setting his head atop yours. You pout below him, letting out a small ‘humph’ of disapproval. He chuckles and you feel the vibration in his chest, letting a smile work its way back on your face at that small triumph.

“What’s the work, then?” You hum, pulling away from his embrace to turn and look at the files in his hands. He sets them on the desk and opens them.

“I was tasked to find this former death-eater and they let me choose my partner this time, surprisingly. There is a small catch, though.” He looks up at you, a small but sympathetic smile on his face.

“What?” You ask.

“I’ll also be on the case,” A new man walks in, about your age, and extends his hand to you, “nice to meet you, I’m Oscar. I just transferred in from the other division.”

You shake his hand apprehensively before he moves to shake Draco’s hand next.

“Nice to meet you, Oscar. This is...our co-worker, Miss (y/l/n). She’s the best in the division and she’ll be joining us on the case today.” Draco introduces you. You internally groan. This must be the transfer that your friend was talking about earlier.

“Pleasure to meet you, Oscar.” You try your best to be polite, giving him a small smile.

“The pleasure’s all mine, Miss (Y/l/n), believe me.” He flashes you a blindingly toothy grin. Draco’s brows furrow for a moment, but it’s gone before you can ask him about it.

“Well, let’s get on with the case. We’ve got to look at all of the evidence in the briefing room first.” Draco leads the two of you down the hall and to the briefing room. You try to ignore how close Oscar seems to be walking next to you, brushing it off as him just being confident.

~+~

A few hours later, you’re officially off work. You smile and stop by Draco’s office, seeing him stressed over a pile of paperwork on his desk. You had caught the death-eater in record time, as he was surprisingly hiding out in the same place as he had always been, so now the process paperwork was on Draco’s plate. You knock on the doorframe softly, causing his head to shoot up.

“Hey, Draco, it’s time to go home. You can worry about the rest of that tomorrow,” You coo, walking over to his desk and laying a hand on his shoulder. His hand comes up and covers yours, squeezing tightly. He smiles and gets up, grabbing his coat from the back of his chair.

“Sounds perfect. I’m dying to get home anyway.” He presses his hand to the small of your back, edging you forward to go first out of the door. You do as you’re told and walk to your desk, gathering your stuff before walking out of the building with Draco. You don’t notice Oscar leering behind the two of you.

~+~

It starts off small at first. Little things that Oscar does for you that make him seem just slightly nicer. Things that you brush off because maybe he’s just a nice guy. Maybe he just cares. There are good men in the world, you’re about to be married to the best, so what if Oscar’s just a good guy? Sure, he picks up your pen when you drop it. He gets you extra paper for your desk when you run out without you having to ask him to. They’re no big deal.

Then things started increasing. He’d start getting you coffee in the mornings, setting it on your desk before you even get to work. He’d ask you to lunch a few times, promising to pay for the meal. You always felt obliged since he is technically your superior, so you thought nothing of it. You usually discussed business at the lunches, anyway. This went on for a few weeks.

What you didn’t see were the hungry glances he’d send your way. He always seemed to be watching you. If he wasn’t watching you, he was talking to you. And while you didn’t seem to notice this, Draco did. And it made him furious.

“(Y/n), what’s going on with you and Oscar?” Draco asks one day when the two of you get home.

“What do you mean, Draco?” You ask, concern filling your gaze that rests upon your soon-to-be husband.

“I mean...he’s into you, or something. Do you not see it? And you… you’re flirting back, aren’t you? Or am I missing something?” He asks, running a hand through his hair. He seems more sad than angry, you note.

You look at him quizzically.

“Draco, I’m not flirting with Oscar. First of all, I’m engaged to you and I love you. Secondly, how daft would I have to be in order to flirt with him right in front of you?” You scoff softly, going to cup his face in your hands. He lets you, lifting his gaze to meet yours as your hands envelop his face.

“But you always say yes to his lunch dates. You’re always so sweet to him. You...you look happy with him.” He frowns, eyes searching your face for any sign of misinformation. You chuckle softly.

“I’m happy with you, Draco. If you could see the way I look at you, there would be no doubt in your mind of where my affections lie. I go to lunch with him occasionally to discuss business, but I can stop that if you’d like. I love you. I’m just trying to be nice to the new guy, I promise you that’s it.” You murmur, stroking your thumb across his cheek. He nods, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“Okay. I love you. I trust you.” He buries his head into the crook of your neck, pulling you flush to him. You smile and rest your head against his chest. There was truly no place you’d rather be than his arms right now. You wish you could convey that so much better to him.

~+~

A couple of weeks later, you’ve tried to abide by your soon-to-be husband’s desires. You no longer go to lunch with Oscar, and you’ve been a little less sweet in your conversations. You know Draco’s not being possessive, he’s just trying to share his feelings. You know he’s struggled with that in his past, so you’re being accommodating. Plus, you’re not the biggest fan of Oscar anyway.

“Hey, (Y/n)!” Speak of the devil.

“Hi, Oscar.” You smile tightly, turning your chair to see Oscar walking to your desk with a coffee mug in hand.

“I got this for you. Your usual.” He sets the mug down on your desk, a wide smile on his face. You grimace slightly but turn it into a small apologetic smile.

“Oscar, I’ve told you that you don’t need to get me coffee in the mornings. It can’t be doing good things for your bank account.” You chuckle slightly forced, drawing the mug to the corner of the desk instead of right by you.

“Oh, don’t worry about it. You can make it up to me some other time.” He laughs. You stop slightly in your tracks for a split second before resuming what you were doing, hoping that you didn’t cause suspicion. You do not want to know the connotations of that phrase.

“Well, I should get back to my paperwork.” You chuckle, brushing off the small innuendo that you’re not sure he meant to make or not. You turn back to your desk.

“Would you like to get dinner sometime? Just the two of us?” He asks suddenly, drawing your attention back to him. You keep yourself from making a face.

“Like...a date?” You choke out, unsure of what else to say.

“Yes, exactly.” He smiles at you.

“I’m sorry, I’m already with someone. Draco’s my fiancé.” You deadpan. You immediately regret apologizing at the beginning of your sentence, you have nothing to be sorry for.

“Oh, my apologies, I had no idea! I’m so sorry, that must have been odd. Forget it ever happened.” He laughs, brushing it off. You smile nervously, knowing you won’t be able to just forget it, but you’re grateful that he at least took the rejection well.

“Well, I should get back to our current case…” You trail off, looking back to your work laying on your desk.

“Oh, about that. I’ve got some information about the case that I need to discuss with you later today. Come to my office after work?” He asks, taking a sip from his own coffee mug. You tense up slightly, but force yourself to relax.

“Of course. To discuss the case, right? Won’t...Mr. Malfoy also need to be present?” You press, not entirely comfortable with the idea of being alone with him after work.

“Oh, yes he’ll be there, too. So I can expect you?” He asks, tracing his finger around the rim of his coffee cup. You force a smile onto your face.

“I’ll be there.” Your smile drops and you turn back to your desk. Oscar seems to not have noticed because he walks back to his office and shuts the door. You roll your shoulders to relax some of the tension in them. You already rejected him, and he took it well, so everything’s fine. Plus, if Draco’s there after work, then nothing can go wrong, right?

~+~

Wrong. It’s time for you to meet with Oscar after work and Draco’s nowhere in sight. You’re sitting at your desk, eyes wildly searching for Draco to walk in with you, but no one is anywhere near. You see Oscar step out of his office and his eyes immediately land on you.

“(Y/n)! What are you waiting for? Come on, Draco said he’s running a tad late. We can chat in here until he’s back.” Oscar waves you over. There are a million alarms ringing in your head, but you stand up and walk over to his office. You don’t feel like you can just say no, as that might look bad to your authorities.

~TW: unwanted advances ahead! Please don’t read if this will trigger you. There will be another cut that shows when the TW ends~

“Hey, Oscar.” You try to stay casual as you sit down in his office. He strides in after you but keeps the door open. That eases your nerves slightly.

“How’ve you been, (Y/n)?” He asks, sitting on his desk in front of you. You scoot the chair back slightly, not liking the close proximity. You pray for Draco to walk in any moment now.

“I’ve been...fine. Thank you for asking.” You uncomfortably shift in your chair, waiting.

“And you’re sure you don’t want to go on that date later?” He asks, a dark chuckle in his voice that sends chills down your spine. Not the good kind.

“No, I’ve already told you that Draco is my fiancé.” You push your chair back, standing up. You’ve had quite enough, and he’s crossed the line now.

“Oh, come on. I was just playing around.” He chuckles, standing up as well.

“I came here under the notion that we would be talking business about the case, Oscar. This is not what is happening.” You state, setting your jaw and clenching your fists.

“Don’t be like that, darling. You know we have to wait until Draco’s here until we can discuss the case. He won’t be here for a minute or two...we can do whatever we want in the meantime.” In a breeze, he’s behind you and holding your upper arms.

“Get off of me.” You sneer, ripping your arms from his grasp and turning around to face him. You step back a few steps to lengthen the space between the two of you.

“Don’t fight it. I know you like me. You’ve said it all along with that pretty little gaze and flirtations of yours. Don’t deny it.” He keeps stepping forward as you keep stepping back until you run into the desk. He traps you against the desk, pinning your legs down and grabbing your shoulders. You whimper, fear filling your body with dread as he stares down at you hungrily. At this moment, you wish you had listened to Draco all those weeks ago and just stopped talking to Oscar altogether.

“Let go of me.” You try weakly as he leans down and stares deeply into your eyes.

“Make me.” He whispers harshly, not letting you get the last word in before he presses his lips to yours roughly. Your eyes widen and you resist, bringing your hands up to punch his chest repeatedly. He grabs your wrists with an iron grip, continuing to move his mouth against yours and work against your will. Tears prick at the corner of your eyes as you evaluate your options. Your wand is in your pocket, but how do you reach it?

“Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t know you would have company--” You hear a voice from the doorway. Oscar breaks the kiss and turns around, seeming shocked. You look around him to see Draco standing there, slightly surprised until his gaze lands on you. Then you see his body language go slack.

“Draco?” You whimper, squeezing out from behind Oscar and running to your fiancé. You throw your arms around his shoulders and sob into his chest, your words coming out broken as you try to explain the situation but fail.

You feel his body stay tense under your touch, causing you to step away and look up at him. He doesn’t even look at you, just stares ahead as his face contorts in anger and hurt.

“Don’t bother coming home tonight, I’m sure you can stay at Oscar’s. Have fun.” He steps out of your grasp, turning on his heel and walking away. You try to reach for him, but Oscar grabs your wrist before you can make it.

“Not so fast, darling. We both know he won’t listen to you right now. Why not stay and enjoy the fun while you can? Besides, you heard it from him yourself. Why don’t you stay at my place tonight?” The devilish grin on Oscar’s face tells you all that you need to know.

“You set this up, didn’t you? You knew he was going to be here slightly later, so you made it look like I was cheating on him! You bastard!” You scream, ripping your wrist from his grasp with newfound adrenaline.

“I may have invited your fiancé for the discussion on the...urgent news of the case, but I accidentally told him the wrong time… it was a shame he walked in on us like that. Oh well.” Oscar tsks.

“You’re sick! Once higher-ups find out about this, you won’t have a job anymore!” You sneer.

“And what are you going to do? Tell on me? Please, I’m in a higher position than you. They won’t listen to a word you say...especially because you’re a woman.” He laughs in your face.

“You’re a monster!”

“No, I hunt monsters. I’m just a man with needs.”

“And I’m feeling the need to kick your ass.”

“As if you could do that. You’re weak, (y/n). I could take you in a heartbeat.” He growls.

“I guess we’ll see about that. Expelliarmus!” You grab the wand out of your coat pocket at the same time as him, but luckily you’re just slightly better at dueling than him.

“Stupefy!” You say, aiming your wand directly at him. He’s hit and down within a second, lying unconscious on the floor. You go over and pick up his wand, giving his ribs an extra good kick to bruise whenever he wakes up.

You take some of the handcuffs from your desk and handcuff Oscar to his own desk, knowing that someone will find him in the morning and you can explain the situation later.

~TW over~

Finally feeling the effects of everything that just happened, you wrap your arms around your torso and sob, curling into yourself. You realize what could have happened to you had you not taken action. Would he have gone so far? What would have happened if Draco didn’t walk in at that time?

Draco.

You find a little resolve left and stand up from your desk, wiping the tears from your eyes as you make your way to the door. You apparate back to your apartment.

You open the door and walk in quietly, seeing him laying on the couch, staring emptily at the ceiling.

“Draco?” You murmur, coming in and shutting the door behind you.

“I told you not to bother.” He mumbles, not even looking at you. Your heart aches.

“I can’t just walk away from this knowing that you’re believing a lie.” You walk toward the couch, seeing him sit up as you approach.

“Excuse me? Believing a lie? I literally walked in on you snogging him--”

“He forced me into it!” You defend yourself.

“You didn’t seem to be stopping him!”

“Are you kidding me? I couldn’t! He’s strong!”

“Oh, so you like him for his muscles, huh? I thought we had put the past behind us, (Y/n),” Draco scoffs.

“What are you talking about?” You cock your head to the side, a deep pain settling in your chest as you try to work through this. If you could just get him to trust you again...

“What is this? Revenge? Or are you just reverting to our Hogwarts days?”

“What? Draco you’re not making any sense.”

“Are you cheating on me to get back at me for what I did at Hogwarts? For when I broke your heart? It’s been over two years! I thought we were over it! I won back your trust, your heart, and this is how you repay me? You must be really dedicated to payback because you’ve shown that more loyalty than you’ve shown me.” Draco spits at you, venom laced in his voice as he accuses you. Your heart breaks. Is that really what he thinks of you?

“Why would I wait two years to exact my revenge? What do I gain from that at this point, Draco? I love you! Why would I lose all of that?” You ask him, slightly defensive but slightly just...hurt.

“I don’t know, maybe you’re just reverting to your ways of being a player. Maybe I’m getting played.” He hangs his head in his hands. You feel tears prick at your eyes again.

“Are you...are you kidding me? Now you’re just grasping at straws- I’m telling you the truth. He forced me into a kiss and made sure that you were going to walk in right as it happened. I swear it. I’ll do anything to make you believe. I didn’t do this for stupid revenge, I’m not a slut, and I’m not lying. I’m...kind of hurt that you don’t believe me.” You answer honestly, hoping that he’ll look up at you and know that you’re telling him the truth.

“It’s...really hard to believe you when I walked in on you kissing another man. It’s hard to unsee.” He murmurs.

“What do you want me to do, drink veritaserum so you can test me?” You scoff, throwing your hands up in the air out of frustration. The only thing he can do is take your word for it. If he doesn’t trust you, then what can you do?

“There’s no way to access that, you know it’s controlled by the ministry.” Draco shakes his head, still hung in his hands.

“Holy crap you actually...” your heart pangs in your chest, “you actually don’t believe me enough that you’d have me take a truth potion?” You mutter, feeling a few tears roll down your cheek. You never thought it would reach this point. You thought he would believe you. You’re not sure what to do anymore if he’s willing to take it this far.

“No. we’re agents trained in ways to avoid the truth serum in case we’re captured. It would never work.” He thinks through in his head. You scoff, the tears choking your voice slightly.

~TW: alluding to rape!~

“Forget it. Forget this. Send me an owl when you’ve learned some common sense, but I’m done with this right now. You….you can’t seriously believe that I’d want to be with that...that jerk. That slime ball of a human being,” more tears stream down your cheeks until you’re almost out-right sobbing, “I was...so scared of what he was going to do. I didn’t know you were headed that way, I….I thought he was going to take advantage of me...further than he did. I was terrified...but then you walked in and I thought I was saved….I thought…” You trail off, tears streaming down your face as the trauma of what almost happened sinks in. You never thought you’d be faced with this in your work before, but why are you surprised when it happens to women all the time.

~TW over~

Suddenly, there’s a strong pair of arms wrapped around your shoulders and pulling you into Draco’s chest. You sob into him, unable to control the tears anymore. Draco strokes your hair, whispering sweet nothings to you. You pull back after a moment and look at him, seeing the concern and love swimming in his expression.

“Did he hurt you at all?” Draco’s voice is soft but fierce. The amount of genuine concern and fear written on his face tells you that he’s serious at this moment and that he’s putting your previous argument aside for now. For you and your wellbeing.

“N-no...but I hurt him pretty badly. He’s probably still passed out in his office…” you try for a small forced chuckle, thinking about how you paid him back for what he did. Draco breaks into the smallest of smiles, pulling you back against his chest.

“I’m sorry...I’m so sorry.” You think you hear him sniffle.

“For what?” You ask. You know exactly what he should be sorry for, but you want to hear it.

“For not believing you. I...I was the one caught up in the past, not you. I was so caught up in my jealousy and guilt from that guy and what happened two years ago that I couldn’t see past what I wanted to see. I’m so sorry. For just now, for two years ago, for everything. You deserve so much better.” He murmurs into your hair. You hug him tight.

“You apologizing so quickly...realizing your mistakes...Draco, that’s what solidifies in me that we do deserve each other. We’ve both made mistakes. I should have realized what was happening with him, and I should have told you and kept you informed...and you were blinded by jealousy and guilt. But we’ve realized this and we’ll move past it. I love you, Draco. You’re the perfect man for me.”

“(Y/n)...I couldn’t ask for a better woman to be my fiancée. And as for him...I would like to be informed next time, but you couldn’t have known what was going to happen. Don’t blame yourself for this, it isn’t your fault. It’s entirely on him and his choices, and I will see to it that he gets severely punished for what he did.”

You smile at him.

“I love you.” You murmur, burying your face into his chest.

“I love you too, (Y/n). So much more than you can ever imagine.” He sets his head atop yours, running his fingers up and down your spine. You’re not sure what’s going to happen now, but you know that Draco and you have made up. Mistakes were realized, and he prioritized your needs above his own and saw past his distrust to hear you out.

“Should we tell the ministry?” You ask.

“Yes, we’ll tell them tomorrow morning. And I’ll back you up the entire time, I promise. I’m so sorry I didn’t believe you. I’m sorry I took it too far… I didn’t know what to think. But I should’ve believed you the entire time, I’m so sorry.” He utters quietly, pressing a long kiss to your hair. You close your eyes and relish his presence, his embrace, just him.

“It’s okay, Draco. I love you. I know.” You squeeze him just slightly tighter. You’ll need to save your strength for your next battle tomorrow.

~+~

A few days later, you’re packing up the stuff on your desk, a small smile escaping you as you remember all the good times you’ve had here. You were going to miss this little desk. You’ll miss your co-worker gossiping next to you all day. You’ll miss a lot of things about this little office space.

“Are you leaving, (Y/n)?” Your co-worker asks you, a small frown appearing on her face.

“Yeah, I am. I won’t be here anymore. The ministry didn’t quite believe me when I told them about Oscar’s offenses.” You frown, looking at your little box of stuff from your desk.

“Oh, I’m sorry. What are you going to do now?” She asks, casting a forlorn look to your previous desk-space.

“Well...I’ll be moving into Oscar’s office because I got Draco to speak up on my behalf. I may not have had much pull in this ministry, but my fiancé certainly does, and you can’t get away with hurting a future Malfoy. And trust me, I certainly have some pull here now.” You smile at her. Her frown transforms into a grin.

“Congrats, that’s so exciting! We’ll miss you out here, but congrats on the new promotion and office. You deserved it.” She hugs you, almost knocking your box out of your hands. You laugh as she pulls away.

You turn to see Oscar walking out of his office with a similar box in his hands, except with termination papers sitting atop the items. You send him a smirk and a small mocking wave as he leaves the building.

Excited, you turn back to your new office and start setting everything up. There’s a soft knock on your doorway and you look up to see Draco looking at you. You grin at him.

“We did it!” You giggle, throwing your arms around him as he walks up to you.

“I didn’t doubt you for one second. I knew you’d win the argument against the ministry.” He laughs, closing the door behind him for a private moment.

“Well, having the Malfoy name to back me up certainly did wonders. I should be thanking you.”

“You would’ve won either way, the other way just would have taken longer. Trust me, (Y/n) (Y/l/n)...soon to be (Y/n) Malfoy...is a force to be reckoned with.” He wraps his arms around your waist and leans down to kiss you. You accept the kiss with eager anticipation and throw your arms around his neck.

You pull away and rest your forehead against his, closing your eyes and basking in the moment. This perfect moment. You got the promotion, you got payback on Oscar, and you kept your love.

“I love you, (Y/n) Malfoy.”

“And I love you, Draco Malfoy.”

67 notes · View notes

reggiesmolina · 3 years

Text

i can't stop you putting roots in my dreamland

He looks really good, is all. His hair is a little bit tousled from carrying the tree and Reggie constantly putting his hand through it, and his cheeks are that shade of red they get when he's really excited about something. He removed his jacket and flannel halfway through the decorating, giving Luke a perfect view of his surprisingly toned arms and flushed chest. And his eyes— fuck, his eyes look beautiful, vibrant green speckled with sparks of gold from the twinkle lights. Reggie has always been cute, even pretty, but Luke doesn't think he's thought of him as beautiful before.

three times luke realised he was in love with reggie and one time he said it out loud

For @danslevy as my gift for @jatpdaily‘s Secret Santa.

I hope you like it, Megan. Happy Christmas.

link for AO3 is in the reblog

one.

They're decorating the studio the first time it happens, taking him by surprise.

Luke had been picking extra shifts at the coffee shop he worked at so he could save enough to buy a real tree and begged his mom for weeks to let him borrow the ornaments and lights they didn't use for their tree. He hasn't seen the boys outside of practice or their weekly movie night for weeks now, but it's worth when he sees Reggie's entire face brighten up when he tells him about it.

"Are we getting a tree?" he asks with a big smile from his place in the couch.

"Yeah, bro" Luke says, crossing the studio to sit next to Reggie. "I have the box of Christmas stuff my mom gave me so we just need to get a tree you like."

Reggie's parents aren't bad people, they're actually kinda cool sometimes, but they're also shitty parents sometimes, too. For the past three Christmases they have forgotten about Reggie's birthday because it's on Christmas Eve, and they don't decorate for Christmas because Reggie's mom doesn't like the smell of the trees, so Reggie's never had the full experience of decorating a tree.

Last Christmas Luke's parents had invited him to help with the Patterson tree, but he's never got to decorate a tree that's his, so Luke is gonna fix that.

"Is that even safe, though?" Alex asks from where he's seated on the floor. "Wouldn't that be like, a fire hazard?"

"Why would it be?" Bobby shrugs without looking up from his phone. "We already use the outlets for our amps, I don't think some Christmas lights are gonna be that much worse."

"Yeah, and we'll make sure to turn everything off and unplug it whenever we're not here," Luke reasons

"I don't know, guys..."

Reggie pouts and gives him his best puppy eyes that he knows Alex can't resist. "Don't be a Grinch, Alex. It can be my birthday present."

"And also," says Bobby, finally looking up, "if you say no, Luke will find a way to break in in the middle of the night to do it by himself anyway. We have joint custody of Sunset Curve's shared brain cell and if we're not here to supervise them, Reggie will break something and Luke will find a way to actually set the whole thing on fire."

"Hey!" Luke and Reggie protest but are pointedly ignored by the other two.

"Come on, bro, it'll look rad and it is Reggie's birthday after all," Bobby continues.

After a good moment of silence and twin begging looks from Luke and Reggie, Alex finally rolls his eyes and lets out a big, dramatic sigh. "Fine, we can have a tree. Only because I love you and you deserve to have a tree, but it so not your birthday present, okay?"

Reggie all but throws himself to Alex's arms to hug him.

---------------------------------------

Finding a tree they all agree on and was just the perfect size for the studio isn't as hard as Luke imagined it would be, and getting it to the Wilsons' isn't that hard complicated either since they're using their beat-up van to get it there, so they don't even have to tie it to the roof of the car.

Getting it inside the studio os a whole different story. It requires all four of the carrying it and Reggie scraps his hand when they almost drop it because Bobby stumbles with the the chord of one of their amps, and Luke is convinced he's never gonna get the smell of pine tree off his shirt but it doesn't matter once he has Reggie in his arms, thanking his and promising to repay him for it.

"None of that, Reg, it's a gift," he says, casually kissing Reggie in the cheek before going to check what's inside the box his mom gave him to start decorating the tree.

Decorating the tree takes longer that Luke expected, already well into the evening by the time Reggie considers it was appropriately full of tinsel, ornaments and lights. The tree looks perhaps a little bit *too full*, but none of them care about it as long as Reggie is happy with it. It's his tree, after all.

Alex and Bobby had gone to buy some pizza and Chinese takeout from that place a couple blocks down the studio, so Luke and Reggie are alone in the studio putting the finishing touches on the tree. Luke is nervous about being alone with Reggie, which makes no sense because they've known each other since elementary school and have been alone multiples times before. In fact, they used to spend all of their time alone before they met Alex and Bobby in middle school. It's just that there is something different about Reggie today.

"Hey, Luke, can you help me with this?" Reggie asks from behind him, rummaging through the box of decorations.

"What's up, bug?"

Reggie holds up two tree toppers Luke recognises from when he was younger, before his mom got the angel one they've put on their three since he was seventeen. "We need a topper for our tree. Which one do you like better?"

Luke carefully examines his options, a silver one shaped like a snowflake and a red and gold star, before deciding the red one.

"This one," he says, pointing at the star. "Red is your favourite colour."

Reggie flashes him another one of his smiles and it makes Luke's heart do weird things inside his chest and he's sure he's blushing now.

"Do you wanna do it?" Reggie asks, handing him the star.

"Are you sure?" Luke hesitates. "Placing the tree topper is kind of a big thing, don't you wanna do it?"

Reggie nods with a smile. "I know that, but I would really like it if you did it."

Luke takes the topper with a smile and places it on top of their tree, careful not to move any of the ornament or tip the tree down to the floor. He takes a second to look at the it and admire how pretty it looks with its mismatched ornaments and pretty lights, until Reggie's arm wraps around his shoulder and takes him out of his almost trance.

"Thank you," Reggie says, looking into Luke's eyes with a smile. "I know it looks a little bit crazy, and you didn't have to buy me a tree, but today was nice so... Thank you for that."

Luke turns so he was face to face with Reggie and cups his hand against his cheek, bringing their faces closer so they were only a couple inches apart.

"None of that," he says, smiling at Reggie. "It looks great and you deserve a tree, Reg. It was no biggie, I promise, and if you like it and are happy with it it's all that matters."

Reggie smiles at him before closing their distance and resting his forehead against Luke's. He is a couple inches taller than Luke but it works up fine.

He doesn't know for how long they stay like that, but Luke can feel the way their noses are touching and how they're so close he can *feel* Reggie's breath. All he would have to do is angle his angle his face up just a little bit and their lips would touch. He doesn't know where the thought comes from, but he realises he wouldn't mind kissing Reggie right now, and for a moment he thinks he sees something in Reggie's eyes that tell him he's feeling the same.

But the moment ends abruptly when the boys come back kicking the doors of the studio open. Bobby is holding two pizzas and Alex's hands are busy with takeout bags and a six-pack of Coke, so Luke takes his hands off Reggie's face to go help them put it all down on the coffee table before they drop something. He is only slightly disappointed he didn't get to kiss Reggie, but isn't sure why. He doesn't even know why he wanted to kiss him in the first time

"Everything okay?" Alex asks him in a whisper, giving him a funny look. "It looked like you guys were having a moment."

"Nah, man, just Reggie saying thank you," Luke shrugs.

"Right..." Alex said, giving Luke a look that made his nervous. Alex has always been good at reading Luke and knowing how he feels even before Luke figures it out himself but he would never say or do anything that would make him uncomfortable, and he usually leaves him alone about it for Luke to work it out before he says anything.

"Let's eat up, boys, it's Christmas!" Reggie says, putting his arms around Luke's shoulders. Luke hopes he can't see the ways he's blushing down to his neck.

And as he watches his best friend shove food into his mouth like he hasn't had a meal in months Luke is hit with the realisation that he has a crush on Reggie, has had one for the longest time.

two.

"Haven't seen you much this week," Alex starts the conversation, eyeing Luke warily.

They're at the coffee shop Luke works at, seated on a table near the back during his lunch break.

"What do you mean? We saw each other at practice yesterday," Luke says.

"Yeah, and you practically ran out of the studio as soon as we were done. You didn't even stay for movie night," Alex sighs, looking at Luke with a frown. "We watched Die Hard, by the way, because you keep saying that's your favourite Christmas movie and it was Reggie's turn to pick the movie and he wanted to do something nice for you. He's sweet like that."

Luke groans and slaps his forehead against the table, because this is Alex's passive-aggressive way of telling him he's being an asshole.

After 'The Tree Incident', as Luke has been calling it, he's tried not spend too much time alone with Reggie, so whenever he's not at band practice he's at work. He's been working a lot of extra hours and picking up second shifts telling his parents it was because he wanted to save money so they could afford a new van that would actually be useful for getting to gigs and not a death trap in wheels. And it wasn't even a lie, they really needed money to replace it, Christine (name courtesy of Bobby, who thought he was being really by naming it that) had been falling apart since the moment they bought it. It just wasn't the whole truth either.

He knows he's being a coward and a little stupid for avoiding Reggie over something he has absolutely no control over o even knew about, it was just that Luke didn't know what to do with this new information. He's never had a crush on one of his friends before, and he's afraid he's gonna do something that will make Reggie notice it and it'll end badly. He doesn't think he'd be able to survive the heartbreak if Reggie decided to stop being friends with him because had a stupid crush he couldn't control.

"I'm just worried, bro, because last week you were practically begging on your knees for us to help you get a tree for Reggie to decorate and then the next day you're avoiding us. Avoiding Reggie," Alex explains, smiling softly at him. "Did something happen? Between you and Reggie, I mean. It was all fine when Bobby and I left but you started acting all weird when we came back. Did you guys fight or something?!

"Nothing happened, Alex," Luke says, finally lifting his face up the table and looking at him. "I was just being an idiot, that's all."

"Well, that''s nothing new, is it?" Alex jokes.

"I promise I will apologise to Reggie and make it up to him, okay?"

"Okay," Alex concedes. "But how?"

Luke looks at him confused. "What do you mean 'how'?"

Alex rolls his eyes at him. He does that so much that Luke's afraid on of these days he's gonna get stuck like that or something.

"I mean that Reggie was pretty hurt last night when you left," Alex explains. "So how can I be sure you are actually gonna fix it and make it up to him and not just make it worse?"

Reggie is everyone's favourite member, and everyone who knows Sunset Curve can see that, but Alex and Reggie share a deeper bond, so of course the blond is incredibly protective of the bassist and would do anything for him. Luke once saw how Alex tore apart a kid from their history class with just his words because he said Reggie's head was filled with hot air because he didn't know the answer to a question and swore he would never do anything that made Alex give him that look that said he wasn't above committing murder because Reggie was hurt.

"I don't know," Luke says. "Can't I just apologise to him and promise I won't do it again?"

"Not unless you tell him *why* you did it in the first place because otherwise he's gonna think *he* did something that upset you," Alex sighs, looking at him directly in the eye. "He's gonna think it was his fault unless you tell him exactly why you were acting like an asshole to him all week."

And Luke hadn't even considered that. Of course Reggie would think it was his fault instead of just Luke being childish and scared.

"He thinks it's his fault?" Luke asks, voice breaking a little.

"You started acting like this after whatever happened while you guys were decorating the tree alone, Luke, of course he thinks he did something that upset you. You know how he is."

Luke stays quiet for a minute, weighting his possibilities. He wants to make it up to Reggie and assure him it wasn't anything he did, but he isn't ready to tell Reggie about his feelings, yet. It's still pretty new and he's not done figuring things out, haven't even considered telling Reggie.

"I want to make it up to him," he finally says after a couple minutes in silence. "But I'm not ready to tell him why just yet. Not all of it."

Alex looks at him for a good minute, and Luke can tell he's trying to decide how sincere he's being and if he should help him.

"Fine, I'll help you come up with something," he concedes. "But you gotta promise you're not gonna do it again, okay?"

"Deal."

---------------------------------------------

Alex's solution is making dinner for Reggie, and Luke can't help but feel like he's being set up, but he's got no other ideas so he goes with it.

The day after the conversation at the coffee shop, they cancel band practice for the day and spend the whole afternoon looking up recipes for homemade pizza. Alex helps him make the dough and properly prepare Reggie's favourite toppings, making sure everything is perfect for when Reggie gets there.

Luke's parents are away for the weekend visiting his aunt in Fresno, so they have the house for themselves, and he isn't sure if that helps or make him even more nervous. He's glad he's gonna get to talk to Reggie without anyone interrupting or bothering them, but he's also about to have dinner with the guy he's crushing on, in an empty house with nowhere to hide.

"You need to relax or this isn't gonna work, bro," Alex sighs. "Why are you so nervous? He's gonna love it, and once you explain yourself everything will be fine again, if you're worried he's not gonna forgive you. It's gonna be fine, dude."

And he's right, of course, but it's not that what's making him nervous. The whole thing is looking too much like a date and it's confusing Luke's head, because it's not and he doesn't want to do anything stupid like telling Reggie about his crush when he's not ready yet, but Alex doesn't know that.

"I'm relaxed, it's okay," Luke says, defensibly.

Alex gives him a quizzical look but doesn't say anything more and gets back to cutting the peppers.

By the time they're done it's twenty minutes before Reggie is supposed to arrive, so Alex leaves after giving him a hug and telling him to "please don't fuck it up".

It's too late for Luke to get a shower unless he wants for his hair to be soaking wet when Reggie gets there, so he just changes to the outfit Alex picked up for him and fixing his hair. Ten minutes later he's back at the kitchen wearing a shirt with actual sleeves and buttons and the only pair of jeans he owns that aren't ripped or two sizes too big for him, putting the two pizzas they made inside the oven. He's checking on them to make sure they're not burning when he bell rings, and Luke absolutely doesn't jump when he hears.

Reggie gives him a shy smile when he opens the door, looking just as nervous as Luke feels. He's wearing his usual black jeans and leather jacket outfit, but instead of a tank top he's wearing a deep red button down. His hair is brushed back and his cheeks are just slightly pink. He looks so good it momentarily takes Luke's breath away.

"So what is this, then?" Reggie asks once Luke remembers his manners and lets him inside the house.

"This-" Luke says, taking the pizzas out of the oven and placing them in the counter. "-is an apology. I'm sorry I've been an asshole this week, Reg. I needed space to think about something and forgot to use my words. Sorry about that."

"I thought I did something that made you upset," Reggie says, looking down at his feet instead of Luke.

Luke wraps his arms around his waist, hugging him. "You didn't, bug, and I'm sorry I made you feel that way." He says into the crook of his neck.

Reggie hugs him back and they stay like that for a moment, just holding each other. Luke can feel Reggie's breath in his neck and the way his arms are wrapped around his waist is making his heart beat faster and his knees turn to jello, but he decides this is his favourite place in the world. Crush or not, hugging Reggie has always been one of his favourite things to do, because he gives the best hugs and Luke always feel safe inside Reggie's arms.

"The food will get cold," Reggie says into his neck, and Luke lets go of him reluctantly.

Reggie carries the conversation while they eat, almost like he's telling Luke at once all of the things he didn't get to tell him the past week. He tells him all about the trouble his sister is getting up to in New York, now that she's permanently moved there, and how last movie night Bobby farted so loud it startled them all and they couldn't laughing about it for five minutes straight.

Luke's belly is full with pizza and butterflies and he's drunk on wine they're way too young to drink and Reggie's presence. And this time he's barely surprised when the thinks how he would like to do with Reggie forever. Last week the realisation hit him like an electric shock that made his body stiff and activated his fight or flight, it made his body stiff and brain malfunction. It scared him and surprised him all at once.

This time, though, he just feels warm. Like he's getting inside a hot bath or someone is embracing him. He's happy and safe, and when he thinks 'I have a crush on Reggie' it feels natural, like it was inevitable. And when looks up at Reggie, with his earnest smile and bright eyes, he realises it really was. He never stood a chance and he's okay with that. He likes Reggie, he has feelings for Reggie, and it's the best thing that's ever happened to him.

three.

The party is in full swing when the boys get there.

They weren't really planning on going, but Willie had insisted they came and Alex is a fool in love who couldn't say no to his boyfriend, so here they are.

It's the day before Christmas Eve -and Reggie's birthday- and Luke can think of twenty different things he would rather be doing instead of being at some frat party. And honestly, who the fuck throws a Christmas party in a frat house? But Alex gets nervous around crowds so wherever he goes, Reggie follows. And if Reggie is there Luke must be two steps behind, that's how they've worked since they were kids. Bobby is there because he genuinely enjoys parties and also to make sure none of his dumbasses does something stupid.

Luke is nursing a beer that's gone warm already while he watches Alex, Willie and Bobby engage in a particularly violent game of Uno. Bobby and Alex are the most competitive people he knows, and he learned better than to give in to their tendencies after that time Alex threw one of sticks at him while playing Clue when they were fifteen, but Willie seems to be giving them a run for their money, too. He hopes the game ends before someone decides to start biting (Alex) or throwing punches (Bobby) at the others.

Reggie is on the other side of the room, talking to one of the girls from his science class, and Luke is trying really hard not to stare. She's really pretty and looks like she's really into whatever story Reggie is telling him, and Luke knows he has no right to be jealous but he can't help it. Ever since he came into peace with the fact that he had feelings for Reggie that went beyond friendship, he's been looking for the perfect chance to confess them. He doesn't know what Reggie will say, and he doesn't want to think about what would happen if Reggie doesn't feel the same, but he can't keep it down any more.

Because Luke knows it's not a crush, anymore. He's in love with him, and he doesn't think he can hide his feelings anymore.

He's certain Alex's knows, because he keeps giving him these looks whenever he's close to Reggie, and sooner or later the others are gonna catch up to it, too, with the way he keeps blushing whenever Reggie touches him and completely loses his ability to function when he takes off his jacket or flannel and stays in only his tank top.

"You're thinking really loud," Bobby says besides him. It seems like the game ended without anyone getting a black eye or any furniture being permanently damaged.

"How can you think loud?" he asks.

"What Bobby means-" Alex interjects from the other side of the couch where he's cuddling Willie. "-is that you're doing that face you do when you're worrying about things you shouldn't worry about."

Luke scoffs. "I don't make a face, dude."

"You do, though, it looks kinda like..." Alex says, and proceeds to frown intensely demonstrate what Luke's face supposedly look like.

"My face doesn't do that, Alexander."

"It really does, bro," Willie laughs. "Looks like an angry puppy."

Luke flips them off and turns to look at Reggie again but he and the girl aren't there anymore. He swallows the lump that forms in his throat and ignores the pit that forms in his stomach.

"Let's go get some drinks, Luke," Alex says, pointing to the table with the drinks with his head.

"I already have a drink," he protests, but Alex gives him a look that had Luke getting up on his feet to follow him anyway.

"So," Alex starts once they're by the table and he's pouring Coca-Cola in a solo cup. "What's that about?"

"What's what about?"

"The way you're looking like someone just kicked your puppy," Alex explains, looking at him.

Luke knows there's no point in pretending he doesn't know what Alex is talking about, so he downs the rest of his warm beer in one sip before answering.

"It's nothing, 'Lex, you don't need to worry about it."

"Are you sure it has nothing to do with Reggie ditching us to go talk to Julie?" Alex insists. "Because you don't get to be possessive when you refuse to tell him how you feel."

Oh, so they're doing this, okay. Luke would have liked it not to do this at a shitty frat party next to the table filled with cheap alcohol, but here they are.

"I know that," Luke sighs. "But I haven't found the right time to tell him, and I'm not even sure I should say anything. What if he doesn't like me back and things get awkward and it breaks up the band?"

"Okay. First off, nothing short of all of us dying could break up the band," Alex reasons. "And even if Reggie doesn't feel the same he would never make things awkward. He loves you, bro, and I'm sure you would find a way to still be friends. And it's not my place to tell you what you should do about the way you feel, but I think it's worth a shot, don't you think?"

"When did you became a relationship guru?" Luke laughs, hugging Alex.

"I mean, I am the one in a healthy and loving relationship, aren't I?"

They go back to the couch with their new drinks in hand to Willie and Bobby in the middle of an arm wrestling battle, and Luke prays that this one doesn't end in someone rushing to the ER like last time.

------------------------------------------

They stay there for a while, the four of them talking about college applications and weather or not The Rolling Stones are best band to ever exist, before Reggie comes by, followed by the same girl from before.

"What are you doing?" he asks, sitting next to Luke and wrapping his arms around his shoulders.

"Just talking, bro," Bobby answers. "Luke keeps saying The Stones are the best band but Alex and I think it's Led Zeppelin."

"You're all wrong. Lynyrd Skynyrd is obviously the best bad ever," Reggie says, making them groan. Reggie discovered southern rock when they were in ninth grade and kept insisting ever since that Sunset Curve should start experimenting with country sounds.

"No, no. The Eagles are the best band, so you're also wrong, Reg," the girl says, standing next to Reggie.

"Oh, shit, sorry. Guys this is Julie Molina," Reggie says with a smile. "She's in my science class and her dad is the photographer I was talking to you about the other day."

With graduation approaching quickly the boys had to make the decision of going to college and focus on trying to make it as a band. They had a pretty decent following and were regulars in several open mic and showcase places, but they would finally be of age to play clubs and things would hopefully take from there, so last month they had put all of their savings together so they could afford recording studio and recorded a demo. The plan is to start distributing it around once winter break was over, take it to record labels and carry copied of it with them whenever they had a gig so they could offer them to potential manager or talent scouts, but they still needed pictures for it so Reggie suggested they ask this photographer he knew.

"Hi, Julie," Alex greets her even though he obviously already knows her. "What did you dad say?"

"He's down for it," she says, sitting down in the couch next to Alex. "You guys just need to pick a date for it and he'll gladly do a photoshoot for your demo."

"Sick!" Luke high-fives Bobby and Reggie.

They continue talking about anything and everything, and Luke starts to feel like an idiot for being jealous of Julie when she's obviously only friends with Reggie. And she's really cool, too. She's in a band with her two best friends and after she shows them a couple of their songs in her phone he can't stop talking about music with her. He's so into the conversation he doesn't realise it kinda looks like he's flirting with her, because Luke keeps complimenting her voice and how cool her songs are, and even asks her to come by their studio some time so they try writing something together. But that's just Luke being himself, and he recognises talent when he finds it.

He sees out of the corner of his eye the way Alex is looking at him, but he ignores it and instead keeps talking to Julie about Taylor Swift's newest album and what new music they've been listening to lately until Julie looks at her phone and yelps.

"Shit, I need to go, guys, my dad is here. It was nice finally meeting you, Luke," she smiles at him. "Let me know when you're free for that songwriting session."

"Oh, sure, what's your phone? I'll text you," he says, putting out his phone to enter Julie's contact before hugging her goodbye when she lefts.

"I'm gonna go get some air," Reggie says after a minute of complete silence, getting up and giving them a smile that doesn't reach his eyes.

Luke watches as he walks away down the same hall Julie left a minute ago, and when he looks at Alex he knows he did something wrong.

"What?" he asks, confused.

"That was so not cool, bro," Bobby says, frowning at him.

"Yeah, dude, that was an asshole move," Willie agrees.

And if looks could kill, Luke would be six feet under with the way Alex is looking at him.

"What?" he repeats, looking at the three of them.

"You were flirting with Julie," Bobby explains.

Luke lets out a laugh. "No I was not."

"It sure looked like that, bro," Willie says. "You kept saying she has the voice of an angel, and that thing at the end? Asking her for her number? That's a classing flirting move."

"She has the voice of an angel. You guys heard the songs too, I know you agree. And I asked for her number so we could talk about writing together."

"You asked her to come by the studio to check us out when we practice," Bobby continues.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"You never let us have an audience when we practice, you say it's a distraction."

Okay, that's not true. Luke doesn't like having people who don't understand music the same way they do watch then when they practice, but he offered Julie because maybe she has some tips on how they can perform better or what adjustments they can do to their set so it's at it's best.

"Wait, you guys thought I was trying to flirt with Julie?" Luke asks, and then it hits him. "Did Reggie think I was flirting with Julie?"

"For sure he did," Alex finally speaks, making Luke wince from how mad he sounded.

"Fuck," Luke says, jumping out of the couch and onto his feet. "Shit. I need to talk to him."

"No, you don't," Alex says, grabbing him by the wrist to avoid him from going after Reggie. "Not unless you're ready to tell him about who you actually have a crush on. And you need to talk to Julie, too. Tell her you weren't meaning to flirt with her."

"I will," he promises, looking at Alex with pleading eyes. "I'll explain to her later, okay? But I need to find Reggie first. Please."

Alex looks at him with anger and disappointment in his eyes, and there's a moment where Luke thinks he's about to punch him before he sighs and drops the hand holding him back. "Fix this."

"I will," Luke repeats and starts walking towards the direction Reggie left.

He finds Reggie seated in the driveway after looking for him for a good fifteen minutes. He's looking at something in his phone and jumps a little when Luke sits next to him.

"Hey," Luke whispers, smiling softly at him. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah," Reggie says, but his voice breaks a little and Luke can tell he's been crying.

"Are you sure?" Luke asks, taking Reggie's hand between his.

Reggie looks down at their joined hands and takes a deep breath before saying, "Actually, I'm not."

Luke looks at him with an open expression, encouraging him to keep talking.

"You were flirting with Julie, and I didn't like that."

"I'm sorry," Luke says, sincerely. "I really wasn't trying to, I just got carried away. I will talk to her, explain I didn't mean it that way."

"What do you mean you didn't mean it?" Reggie asks, frowning.

"Well, she seems cool and her music is amazing, but I don't like her like that."

Reggie yanks his hand out Luke's and quickly stands up. "Then what the fuck was that? Because it certainly looked like you were interested, Luke, and that's a shitty thing to do if you don't mean it."

"I didn't do it on purpose!" Luke defends himself, standing up to so he can look at Reggie's face. "That's just how I am!"

"Oh, so you just go around leading people on, then? Having them think you're interested in them when that's just how you are. She's my friend, Luke, and you can't go around doing that to people!"

"Why are you yelling at me, huh?" Luke snaps, raising his voice to match Reggie's tone. "I came here to make sure you're okay and all I get is you screaming for nothing."

Reggie scoffs and rolls his eyes. He turns around and begins walking down the street, away from Luke.

"Where are you going?"

"Home!" Reggie yells. "You're being an idiot so I'm going home."

"What the fuck, Reggie?" Luke continues talking as he walks behind Reggie, and yanks him by the arm so he stops walking. Reggie turns around to look him with and outraged expression but Luke cuts him off before he can say anything.

"I came here to explain myself and tell you I wasn't flirting with Julie because I'm in love with someone else."

Luke is barely aware of his own words. He's been waiting for the right moment to tell Reggie and yelling at each other in the driveway of some fat house two days before Christmas isn't the ideal scenario, but it was now or never, right?

Reggie's face had morphed into shock, and doesn't move when Luke drops his arms so he can get closer to him until they're inches away, looking into each others' eyes.

"I wasn't flirting with Julie because I'm in love with you, Reggie," Luke says, looking down at their feet instead of into Reggie's eyes. "I didn't know how to tell you, and didn't want to make things weird between us if you didn't feel the same, so that's why I didn't say anything. That's why I was so weird after we put up the tree at the studio. I realised I had feelings for you and didn't know what to do about it, so I decided to be a coward and avoid you, and I'm still sorry for that."

"I do," Reggie says in a whisper, and when Luke looks up into his eyes he can see tears starting to form in his eyes.

"What?"

"I feel the same way," Reggie clarifies, "That's why I was so mad you were flirting with Julie."

"You do?" Luke breaths, closing the distance between them so their foreheads are resting against the other and his hand moves to the back of Reggie's head.

"Yeah," Reggie whispers. "Since we were kids."

And Luke doesn't have time to ask about that because then their lips are touching. Reggie's kissing him and it's so much better than he imagined it would be. His lips are soft against his and he tastes like the mint gum, and when he puts his hand in Luke's cheek he can feel his knees go weak.

They pull apart after a while, and Luke can't believe the look of adoration in Reggie's eyes is for him. He's the one he's looking at like that.

"I love you," Reggie says, pulling him into another kiss.

Luke is beaming when he replies, "I love you, too."

#julie and the phantoms #julie and the phantoms fanfiction #julie and the phantoms fanfic #jatp fanfic #jatp fic #character:luke patterson #character:reggie peters #ship:luke/reggie #fanfic:mine

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notsiriusatall · 4 years

Text

Forget What I Said, It's Not What I Meant

He’s not sure what time it is when he wakes up, but the throbbing in his head and wrist remind Sirius of what’s going on before he even opens his eyes.

“Doe?”

Sirius pushes the blanket off of his head and sits up as best he can. Every part of him aches, the pain of the past thirty six hours finally fully hitting him. He sucks in a breath and touches his ribs gingerly-at least one of them has to be broken.

“Fraid not, bro.”

Sirius turns towards the sound of James’ voice. Why do people keep cleaning his kitchen? Well he knows why, but he doesn’t really see the point in cleaning up a mess that doesn’t have an end in sight. Though he should probably abandon that style of thinking if he wants any chance of cleaning up the mess of himself. James is making pancakes, Sirius watches as he throws one at Grim who has abandoned his post at Sirius’s side in an effort to receive snacks. Sirius swallows, his throat raw from dehydration and the yelling he vaguely remembers doing last night.

“James. I’m so sor-”

“I’m not taking any more apologies from you, Siri.” James says, his voice light and easy. “I’m not mad. You scared the shit out of me, but I’m not mad. But you don’t get to say sorry anymore unless you do something to fix it, okay?”

Sirius nods, his throat scratchy and feeling as raw as the rest of him.

“Okay.”

He sits in silence for a few moments, his heartbeat in his head as the hangover he’d pushed back finally settles in with full force. Sirius pokes at his wrist, James must have bandaged it in his sleep, and sucks in a breath when his touch causes more red to seep into the white of the bandage. Sirius closes his eyes as the weight of everything crashes around him, eerily calm now that he’s on the other side of it, but the blood on his wrist won’t let him forget how close to the end he had been.

This has to be rock bottom, right? There’s no way he could go any lower, right?

“Did you mean it?” James asks, coming around the couch and handing him a plate of pancakes. Sirius has a strange urge to cry when he looks at the smiley face James has painted with syrup.

“...mean what?”

He doesn’t know if he’s actually able to discuss all of this with James, but he guesses he doesn’t have much of a choice. How do you tell the person who has saved your life countless times that you can’t picture a future where you’re happy? Where you’re anything but a burden to the people you care about?

James stuffs his mouth full of pancakes as Sirius stares at the syrup as it slides off the top of the stack.

“Siri. You need to eat something.”

“Fine.”

He takes a half hearted bite as James speaks.

“Did you mean it when you said you wanted help?”

The hope in his best friend’s voice about kills him. Sirius fights through the shame and looks up, meeting James’s eyes.

“Yeah-”

His voice cracks and shame wins out, his head falling back down to his plate. Grim noses his way between his knees, his snout just touching the plate, asking without asking. The couch shifts as James sits next to him.

“Good. Because-god, Sirius. Finding you like that-”

“I know.” His voice is too high. He feels sick but he cuts off another bite of pancake to make it up to James.

“You don’t, dude. It was...I can’t lose you, okay? Especially not like that.”

Sirius breathes in and wills himself to sink into the leather of the couch. He closes his eyes as he threads his fingers in his hair, the giant knot he hasn’t bothered to brush out catching in his fingers.

“I-I don’t want to-I don’t want that either, but if I-when I’m sober it’s okay almost. But I can’t..I have to drink, James. I don’t think I can stop on my own”

He’s never admitted that out loud before. A small weight leaves the space between his shoulder blades.

“Okay.”

Sirius opens his eyes just in time to see James nod twice.

“I know a place-”

“I’m not going to the hospital.”

He says this with more authority in his voice than he deserves to have, but Sirius doesn’t care. Between a life time of his mother’s grooming and what had happened to Reg, if he never steps foot inside of a hospital again it’ll be too soon.

“Jesus fucking christ, will you let me finish?” James actually sounds pissed...well not pissed just frustrated. Sirius shuts up and looks at him expectantly. James sighs.

“There’s a place my professor works at sometimes, it’s inpatient-but its not hospital. It’s kind of got a...dentist office vibe.”

Sirius laughs and even though it sounds wrong, James smiling back at him makes it worth it.

“They’re not gonna like...I don’t know, do medical shit on me?” He asks, anxiety building in his chest. God, he wants a drink.

“I mean they might fix up your wrist a little better than me, but uh, we can tell them about your aversion.”

Sirius nods, not entirely liking how appealing it’s beginning to sound.

“They’ll uh, well they’ll work with you to get you sober. And you’d have to talk to a therapist.”

Sirius frowns, any hope he had slipping away.

“You mean I’ll sit there while a therapist talks at me.”

James sighs.

“Siri-”

“I’ll go, but only to dry out. Not for any of that other shit.”

James opens his mouth to argue, but then closes it.

“Fine. But you’re staying for a month.”

Sirius laughs, incredulous.

“A month? I thought like, maybe a long weekend.”

James gets up, not looking at him as he walks towards the kitchen.

“Then you’re not fucking going, if you’re not going to take it seriously.”

“I take everything Siriusouly.”

Sirius watches as James stiffens at the sink. He puts his plate down and turns, his hands bracing himself on the island as he speaks, his anger barely contained, his knuckles whitening.

“Right, now’s the time for jokes, after I sped over here, almost crashed my fucking car because you sounded like you were fucking dying on the phone. Because my first instinct when Doe called Lily and asked for a ride and mentioned you was that you were going to try to die. That’s really fucking funny, Sirius. It’s all just a big fucking joke, right? Me panicking trying to figure out how the fuck I’m supposed to get through everything left in my life without you if you die, Lily in fucking hysterics when I called her a bit ago and Dorcas-”

“Don’t.” Sirius says, anger taking over even the shame. “Don’t bring her into this.”

“You brought her into this, dude. And she’s already in it whether you like it or not. We fucking care about you. We’re fucking terrified, Sirius. And not just for you...I’m scared of you. I have no idea what you’re going to do next, I have no idea who you are and I thought maybe I could stick it out long enough to see if my best friend would come back but if you’re just going to sit there and think you can solve your problems with a long weekend of minorly giving a shit then I don’t think you’re ever going to come back. And I don’t think you’re ever going to beat this. You need to wake the fuck up, Sirius. You have a choice to make-you can stay down at the bottom or you can fucking try.”

James searches his face as his words sink in. Sirius knows he’s right. But, more importantly, Sirius wants him to be right. This has to be a turning point-he didn’t push that glass deeper for a reason. There was something in him that wanted to live, needed to live, and it was time. Sirius puts his barely touched pancakes on the coffee table and stands. James’s gaze doesn’t leave him, challenging him and begging him at the same time.

“...what happens to Grim?”

James smiles at him sadly.

“He can come stay with us.”

Sirius nods, looking down.

“Will you tell her I’m sorry?”

Sirius doesn’t need to clarify who ‘her’ is.

“You’ll tell her yourself.”

“In a month.”

Sirius nods.

“What do I-how do you even pack for rehab?”

Sirius hates most of the people here, but that was the case no matter where he went. It was a bougie place-to be expected given James’s connections, but Jesus. Its hard to find empathy in your fellow addicts when they’re all vapid pieces of low-fat cornbread. Still, he has to admit he feels better than he has in months. The first few days were hell with alcohol withdrawls-and a wake up call. He’d never considered himself an alcoholic, not really. Not any more than anyone else he knew who was in their early twenties. Of course he had been kidding himself, and there was strange comfort in the label, though he’ll never admit it.

He’s on his way back from his one on one therapy right now. His therapist is a pretty redhead with gappy teeth named Samantha, and he was annoyingly patient. She’d given him a notebook after he’d spent their whole first session in silence, and spent the next silent one offering Sirius suggestions as what to write. She’d mentioned the word letter and it was all over. Not that writing letters to Doe had ever been over in the first place. Sirius had talked at the third session, he asked her how he could not want to die all the time. They’d talked a little more and more and now he almost trusted her, two weeks in. Not enough to tell her anything significant, but still.She’d picked up on that.

“There’s something you aren’t telling me.”

“You got that right.”

“This is only as effective as you let it be, Sirius.”

“That sounds like a cop out.”

She’d laughed at that, and for a second, Sirius let himself imagine that it was Doe’s laughter, that he was somewhere, anywhere, with her. That he hadn’t been messed up and broken from the very start, that he could be someone she deserves.

Cause even though Sirius is still hopelessly in love with her, he’s going to try his best to not stand in her way. Not poison her more than he already has. He almost told Samantha about that. Almost. But telling her about Dorcas lead him down a nasty path of his past, one that they’d also almost uncovered when Samantha had suggested an antidepressant and Sirius had gone borderline ballistic.

“If we just try-”

“If you try to give me a pill I’m walking out that fucking door and never coming back.”

She’d told him next session that she’d met with the substance counselor and determined together that getting Sirius on something else wasn’t the best step, but he was pretty sure she was lying. She’d decided not to give it to him to appease him-and even though Sirius could see through it, it didn’t mean it didn’t work.

He’s so lost in his thoughts that he bumps into something. When he pulls himself out of his head, he registers the piano bench. Sirius glances around him-it was their hour and a half of free time between therapies and dinner. A few of the other residents-as the staff insisted they be called-were scattered on the various couches in the rec room. Some watching a movie, some reading-no one would notice, right? His fingers itch with an urge he hadn’t felt in forever. Cautiously, he slides onto the bench, moving the cover off the keys. He hits middle C. It’s terribly out of tune. He glances around and no one has looked up from their own business. Something like joy threatens to creep into his chest as he starts to play-singing along before he can stop himself.

Wise men say

Only fools rush in

But I can’t help

Falling In Love with you.

He keeps glancing at Dorcas next to him on the bench in his apartment, butterflies everywhere inside of him. He hasn’t told her before, not in so many words. Not that this was you know, words, but he hopes she’ll be able to read between the lines. He turns his attention back to the keys, his face hot for some reason as he finishes the notes. He hand covers him as he hits the last keys and he breaks out into a big grin as he faces her.

“So, what do you think?”

She’s beaming back at him, her eyes full of his answer before she even speaks.

“You’ve been practicing.”

He nods, his voice falling to a whisper, feeling like the entire world existed for just the two of them.

“Every day.”

“Siri?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you too.”

He hits a wrong note and pulls himself out of his memories. He stops and shakes himself.

“You’re really good.”

Sirius about jumps out of his skin. He turns and sees one of the Mindys smiling at him, her too thin hands draped over the top of the standing piano.

“Oh-thanks. Just you know, something to do.”

She smiles at him in a way that’s uncomfortably familiar. “I could give you something to do.”

Sirius laughs awkwardly and slides off of the bench in the opposite direction of her. She is pretty, in a Boston Barbie type of way. He was pretty sure she was in for a coke habit, or maybe she sniffed incessantly for some other reason. There was a point, aka three weeks ago, where he would’ve thrown caution to the wind and gone with the Mindy to the very romantic broom closet he knew people hooked up in, but instead, Sirius shakes his head.

“I’m uh, good. Thanks.”

She glares at him and walks back to her group on the sofas. Maybe this was progress.

Sirius looks at the piano, wondering if that was progress too. Tomorrow was Saturday, when they got visitors, and he knew James would be coming, like always. Last time he’d brought Lily and Grim-but the dog wasn't allowed in and since Sirius didn’t think he could handle seeing Lily, they’d both waited in the car. For a stupid fleeting moment, Sirius wonders if James would bring Doe, but he pushes the thought out of his mind as he makes his way to the phone, calling collect. He holds his breath but releases it when James answers.

“Couldn’t wait one more day, sweetheart?”

Sirius laughs, the eagerness in James’ voice it’s own reward. He had a suspicion his best friend might know who he was again, and regardless of what else happens when Sirius gets out of here, he’s going to try to keep it that way.

“You know it, no bespectacled black gentlemen are in here with me, it’s unbearable.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s racist.”

Sirius laughs again but swallows hard as he gears up to ask.

“Could you uh, do me a favor?”

“Is it saving your ass and bullying you into getting your life together? Cause I’m still working on that one.”

“Uh, no. I mean, well, yeah. But um...can you swing by my place and bring me my guitar tomorrow?”

#james #drabble #self para #ugh #rehab #the end of these

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ravynfyre · 4 years

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see, what had happened was...

Reading a post here reminded me of a little anecdote from my misspent youth, and it gave me a tickle that I just had to share with all y’all...

so, once upon a time, oh, about 18 or 19 years ago (dear gods, has it really been that long ago? fuck I’m old), I was attending Yaoi-Con in San Francisco. You know what Yaoi is, I hope. If you don’t, how the hell have you managed to stay that innocent with all the slash I have been reblogging here on my dash?! Anywhoooo... The previous year, the convention had been in this *lovely* hotel, The Radisson, if I recall correctly, right in the heart of Japantown in good ole SF... but Yaoi was THRIVING in the midst of its heyday, so the convention had outgrown that hotel, and it had been forced to move closer to the downtown to another, larger hotel and convention space.

Now, not a problem in and of itself. And, in fact, that year, being downtown ish, and near a lot of amenities like Kinkos and office supply stores, turned out to be a Very Good Thing. But the problem arose when the convention that had been occupying the space tha Yaoi Con was supposed to have, had not completed clearing out when they should have, and ran late... by, like... six hours? or maybe more?

Now, this hotel-slash-convention center was large enough to have TWO convention areas for relatively modest conventions. They could combine those areas for one larger convention, or keep the two, smaller, conventions separate. They were separated enough that neither convention would have to have anything to do with one another at all, in an ordinary course of things. However, with the group that was supposed to have vacated the Yaoi Con convention space, NOT having vacated it yet, the Yaoi Con attendees were forced to line up and wind that line all throughout the center, and into the hotel, and then sort of into shared lobby space with the other convention, where some mingling occurred.

Now, thing was, these two conventions actually shared a similar age demographic. Both conventions were skewed heavily toward young adults... in the 18-24 ish range, with the other convention skewing just a tiny bit younger (down to 16ish) and Yaoi Con skewing maybe up to the 28ish range, but not many. But that’s.... where the demographic overlap... ended. You see, the OTHER convention... well... it? It was...

The Bay Area Baptist Youth Association.

that’s the main punchline. there’s more amusement under the cut. It’s just not quite as funny as the main punchline, so I’ll save everyone’s dash and cut it.

Yeeaaahhhhh.... And they were all SO VERY CURIOUS about all these - primarily female - young folk lined up waiting to get registered for the other convention in the hotel. What was it all about? Oh, animation and comics? Really? Japanese animation? Like that Anime stuff? How cool! Maybe they could come have a peek? No? Oh, why did everyone think that they wouldn’t like it very much? Made for girls mostly? Like that really cutesy stuff? Not quite? Oh! You have some examples? Wait, why shouldn’t she show us? Is there something wron--- oh. Oh. oohhh. Umm... And... it’s... it’s all like, um... that? Some is better? What do you mean “better”? You mean more than kissing? But... but, they’re... They’re both.... *whispers* boys. oh. um. okay. There’s, um... a lot.... a lot of you... uh... here for this? Wow. We, uh, we should go, uh... We’re going to go. To our... Bye.

Everyone around the main group that interacted with the knot of poor, young, Baptists, just busted a gut, and had a long, and bit rowdy, giggle over the whole thing, as they clustered up and tittered over the situation. The Baptist Youths were having their own little giggles and snickers and scandalized snorts in their areas. Meanwhile, our con goers waited impatiently in knots and clusters of young women, gathered around their doujinshi, tittering over glowing cones of light and pretty kissing boys, and getting noisier and grumpier, and more and more restless, as hotel staff meandered past and gave us all the hairy eyeball now and then, while muttering darkly into their radios. It had been a long time since anyone from the actual Yaoi Con staff had wandered past with any updates, and word from up the line/down the stairs said that the doors were still firmly closed, several hours past Registration Opening time. The proverbial Natives were well pst restless and were starting to froth.

This was about the time that the firefighter in me realized that if someone didn’t step up and start controlling the crowd/line, that the hotel would have no choice but to ask us all to step outside, and we could, conceivably, end up not having a convention at all. So I handed off my registration stuff to a friend who stayed in line, just in case everyone around us in line decided not to be assholes and let me back in after what I was about to do, although I understood that I was probably just setting myself up to end up at the back of the line anyway, and then stepped out to start wrangling unruly kids. A hotel manager came by not two minutes later, surprised that the egresses were no longer blocked, the hallways were passable, people were no longer unruly, and occupancy zoning for each area was now actually being adhered to. I got a nod from them, she spoke to someone via her radio about how everything was under control now, and she wandered off.

Fifteen minutes later, someone from the Yaoi Con convention staff wandered past, saw me working crowd control, and asked who the hell I was, and whose section I was working under. I explained I was no one, but that things had been getting a bit unruly because of the delays, and that the hotel staff had been looking a bit frustrated with the line, as if the were about to take action against us, and so, with my emergency services background, I stepped up to try to keep things under control so that we didn’t get kicked out. If I overstepped, I was sorry, and if that was a serious enough infraction, I would accept not being allowed to register, but I didn’t want the entire convention to suffer just because of restless pre-registrants. She looked me up and down, then grasped my sleeve and told me that I was coming with her, and started tugging me along. I figured, well, shit, I really was about to get banned from Yaoi Con, which would suck big time, but, at least SF has tons of touristy things to do?

Instead, she dragged me down to where they were struggling and rushing to try and finally get registration officially set up, now that they had finally been given access to that part of their space, and she asked me for my badge name. She looked up my badge, handed it to me, then made me a second badge - that had STAFF on it in great big letters - and handed me a cloth armband that said “Yaoi Con Staff”. “Congratulations. You’re now on my Registration Staff. I’m Nightshade. I run Reg. I deputize you to run the line up there. I got a call from the hotel management about half an hour ago that the line was out of control and if something wasn’t done about it, they were going to shut us down, but I wasn’t able to get away to go check until now, and I don’t have anyone else to work up there. So, now I do. You go do your thing, whatever it takes. Thank you!” And then she sent me back into the wild, like a dazed little bird, caught in a net, only to be freed by a kind fae and flung back into the sky, wondering just what the fuck had just happened to it.

And that is how I ended up becoming a member of Yaoi Con Staff. I pretty much owe it all to a rude convention not clearing out on time, and to the Bay Area Baptist Youth Association in San Francisco. LOL

#LOL #somehow i always end up on staff or working at conventions i attend #usually by accident #almost never by design

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thefloatingstone · 5 years

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Somebody asked me for some anime recs. I asked them what kind of genres they’re into but I’m not getting a reply, so here are just some general recommendations for good stuff to watch.

I assume they meant new anime so I’m only focusing on those.

Made in Abyss (2017) (warning for Body horror, violence and gore)

The Abyss—a gaping chasm stretching down into the depths of the earth, filled with mysterious creatures and relics from a time long past. How did it come to be? What lies at the bottom? Countless brave individuals, known as Divers, have sought to solve these mysteries of the Abyss, fearlessly descending into its darkest realms. The best and bravest of the Divers, the White Whistles, are hailed as legends by those who remain on the surface.

Riko, daughter of the missing White Whistle Lyza the Annihilator, aspires to become like her mother and explore the furthest reaches of the Abyss. However, just a novice Red Whistle herself, she is only permitted to roam its most upper layer. Even so, Riko has a chance encounter with a mysterious robot with the appearance of an ordinary young boy. She comes to name him Reg, and he has no recollection of the events preceding his discovery. Certain that the technology to create Reg must come from deep within the Abyss, the two decide to venture forth into the chasm to recover his memories and see the bottom of the great pit with their own eyes. However, they know not of the harsh reality that is the true existence of the Abyss.

Pros:

Ghibli artists working on the backgrounds and environments

likeable characters

crushing atmosphere

incredible world building

Really compelling mysteries

Very emotional

Cons:

The manga its based on has a lot of lolicon bullshit. But the anime has doneits best to either remove or downplay those elements as childhood innocence rather than the author being a creep

Ends without clear answers as we have to wait for season 2

Not for you if you dislike violence or body horror

That Time I got Reincarnated as a Slime (2018)

Thirty-seven-year-old Satoru Mikami is a typical corporate worker, who is perfectly content with his monotonous lifestyle in Tokyo. In the midst of a casual encounter with his colleague, a knife weilding maniac attacks them. Satoru, in shielding his co-worker and his co-worker’s new girlfriend, is fatally stabbed, and dies.

And then he wakes up again. But now, in the body of a blob of slime. In doing so, he acquires newfound skills—notably, the power to devour anything and mimic its appearance and abilities. He then stumbles upon the sealed Catastrophe-level monster "Storm Dragon" Veldora who had been sealed away for the past 300 years for devastating a town to ashes. Sympathetic to his predicament, Satoru befriends him, promising to assist in destroying the seal. In return, Verudora bestows upon him the name Rimuru Tempest to grant him divine protection.

With a goal now, the newly named Rimuru sets out to explore this fantasy world, stumbling into situations where other people need help, and since finding ways to live peacefully is much less hassle, Rimuru does his best to settle conflicts and help people to get along. Mostly because he’s got nothing better to do.

Pros:

Likeable, chilled out protagonist who acts and behaves like an adult

Not the average wish-fullfilment harem-in-disguise type stuff you expect from the average Isekai show

Characters focusing on trying to help each other and be kind without coming across as cheesy or unrealistic

Fun powers and “how are you gonna fix this mess?” situations

Cons:

occasional anime tiddy

Mob Psycho 100 (2016) (If you’ve seen season 1 already then watch season 2)

An Eighth-grader Shigeo "Mob" Kageyama is possibly the most powerful psychic on earth. Which is the only thing he has going for him which, in his opinion, isn’t much. Due to his powers going crazy if he gets overwhelmed by his emotions, Mob has spent his life suppressing his feelings, both negative and positive. As a result, however, Mob is an extremely socially awkward and shy person who struggles to connect to people.

The story follows Mob as he tries to find ways to better himself as a person, aided by the fake psychic Reigen who both uses Mob’s real psychic powers to exorcise ghosts, but also uses his fake con-man skill of charming people and being a smooth talker to help people fix their problems rather than have them rely on a psychic for help. He also acts as a mentor to Mob, not on how to be a better psychic, but on how to mature into a good, capable person. Because according to Reigen “Having psychic powers is just a skill. Some people can run fast, some people can can sing well, some people are good at studying, some people are funny, and some people have psychic powers.”

Now if only the assortment of Cult leaders, Ghosts, Secret organizations and Powerful psychics trying to take over the world could leave him alone.

Pros:

A subversion of the “I must get stronger!” shounen story where the character is already the strongest and needs to focus on being a better person instead.

Probably the best animated show to come out in years

Good uplifting morals

A wacky off-beat art style and sense of humour

Genuinely complex and 3 dimensional characters who are likeable

Really relatable in many ways

Cons:

I can’t think of any tbh

Then we have anime I have on my “to watch” list and come highly recommended but I haven’t seen yet. But I want to recommend them anyway

A Place Further Than The Universe (2018)

a “Cute Girls Doing Cute Things” show.

Filled with an overwhelming sense of wonder for the world around her, Mari Tamaki has always dreamt of what lies beyond the reaches of the universe. However, despite harboring such large aspirations on the inside, her fear of the unknown and anxiety over her own possible limitations have always held her back from chasing them. But now, in her second year of high school, Mari is more determined than ever to not let any more of her youth go to waste. Still, her fear continues to prevent her from taking that ambitious step forward—that is, until she has a chance encounter with a girl who has grand dreams of her own. Spurred by her mother's disappearance, Shirase Kobuchizawa has been working hard to fund her trip to Antarctica. Despite facing doubt and ridicule from virtually everyone, Shirase is determined to embark on this expedition to search for her mother in a place further than the universe itself. Inspired by Shirase's resolve, Mari jumps at the chance to join her. Soon, their efforts attract the attention of the bubbly Hinata Miyake, who is eager to stand out, and Yuzuki Shiraishi, a polite girl from a high class background. Together, they set sail toward the frozen south.

The Promised Neverland (2019) (warning for violence and gore)

Surrounded by a forest and a gated entrance, the Grace Field House is inhabited by orphans happily living together as one big family, looked after by their "Mama," Isabella. Although they are required to take tests daily, the children are free to spend their time as they see fit, usually playing outside, as long as they do not venture too far from the orphanage—a rule they are expected to follow no matter what. However, all good times must come to an end, as every few months, a child is adopted and sent to live with their new family... never to be heard from again. However, the three oldest siblings have their suspicions about what is actually happening at the orphanage, and they are about to discover the cruel fate that awaits the children living at Grace Field, including the twisted nature of their beloved Mama.

Zombieland Saga (2018)

There’s a good chance you might have heard or seen this one floating around tumblr as its one of the really big, really popular anime to have come out that features a trans main character written and presented in a positive light.

Zombieland Saga is both a satirical parody of Idol anime, a complete embracing of what makes idol anime enjoyable, and a criticism of how the Idol industry treat women and young girls. A lot of the girls in the idol group are the complete opposite of what is considered a “good Idol” from one girl being trans, one girl having been an Oiran many many years ago (a historic proffession for women where they play instruments, perform tea ceremonies and entertain paying guests. As well as being very high class prostitutes) as well as debating and comparing the ideal of an Idol as they were seen in the 80s versus the modern interpretation.

Zombieland Saga is at both times the complete antithesis of everything an Idol anime should be, while also being one of the best examples of the genre at the same time. It also features really well written characters with emotional depth and arcs to them and boasts a lot of good humour to boot.

Yuru Camp△ (2018)

Another “Cute Girls Doing Cute things” anime

While the perfect getaway for most girls her age might be a fancy vacation with their loved ones, Rin Shima's ideal way of spending her days off is camping alone at the base of Mount Fuji. From pitching her tent to gathering firewood, she has always done everything by herself, and has no plans of leaving her little solitary world. However, what starts off as one of Rin's usual camping sessions somehow ends up as a surprise get-together for two when the lost Nadeshiko Kagamihara is forced to take refuge at her campsite. Originally intending to see the picturesque view of Mount Fuji for herself, Nadeshiko's plans are disrupted when she ends up falling asleep partway to her destination. Alone and with no other choice, she seeks help from the only other person nearby. Despite their hasty introductions, the two girls nevertheless enjoy the chilly night together, eating ramen and conversing while the campfire keeps them warm. And even after Nadeshiko's sister finally picks her up later that night, both girls silently ponder the possibility of another camping trip together.

Rascal Does Not Dream of Bunny Girl Senpai (2018)

You’re gonna look at this gif and that title and think this is some Light-Novel sexy fantasy wish fullfillment bullshit, but I absolutely assure you it’s not.

The rare and inexplicable Puberty Syndrome is thought of as a myth. It is a rare disease which only affects teenagers, and its symptoms are so supernatural that hardly anyone recognizes it as a legitimate occurrence. However, high school student Sakuta Azusagawa knows from personal experience that it is very much real, and happens to be quite prevalent in his school. Mai Sakurajima is a third-year high school student who gained fame in her youth as a child actress, but recently halted her promising career for reasons unknown to the public. With an air of unapproachability, she is well known throughout the school, but none dare interact with her—that is until Sakuta sees her wandering the library in a bunny girl costume. Despite the getup, no one seems to notice her, and after confronting her, he realizes that she is another victim of Puberty Syndrome. Mai’s unapproachability and air of not wanting to interact with people has manifested that it is now borderline impossible for people to physically notice her. Or in some cases see her at all. As Sakuta tries to help Mai through her predicament, his actions bring him into contact with more girls afflicted with the elusive disease.

Bunny Girl Senpai is an anime that deals with Societal pressures, especially as they apply to teenagers, as well as being a criticism of the Japanese mentality of “not rocking the boat” and in dutifully conforming and falling in line with what society dictates is “proper behavior”. It has the running theme that this mentality of just accepting the way things are and not doing anything to change it is unhealthy, and does more harm than good.

Dororo (2019) (warning for violence and Gore)

A samurai lord has bartered away his newborn son's organs to forty-eight demons in exchange for dominance on the battlefield. Yet, the abandoned infant survives thanks to a medicine man who equips him with primitive prosthetics—lethal ones with which the wronged son will use to hunt down the multitude of demons to reclaim his body one piece at a time, before confronting his father. On his journeys the young hero encounters an orphan who claims to be the greatest thief in Japan.

An anime adaptation of one of Osamu Tezuka’s manga, but deciding to go for an updated, darker art style to match its mature tone.

Dororo is currently still airing but so far reviews are extremely high.

Anyway I hope those are enough to give you at least one new show to check out.

#Anime #recommendations #long post #gif heavy

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vaspider · 5 years

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New & Updated Intro Post

My intro post is now incredibly outdated, so, here’s an entirely new one. Let’s start with a few important updates:

If you like what I do? Consider hiring me, consider buying something from NerdyKeppie (the shop I own with my spouse - we do custom work!), consider buying me a coffee or becoming a Patron or tossing some money in my PayPal tip jar.

I am a disabled, queer, fat, Jewish non-binary butch whose entire income is derived from selling Quality Queerwear via our company NerdyKeppie (we also offer patches of all sorts, nerd gear, etc -- if you don’t see it, ask!), Patreon (queer fiction for a dollar) and freelance work. Please consider supporting me if you like what I do!

Yes, I used to identify as femme and in 2018 I came out as butch and forgot to update my intro post for like a year. So, yes, at one point I identified as femme, largely due to social pressure and trying to be something I wasn’t. 2018 is the year I claimed my butch soul, and holy shit, I’ve never been happier. This is not an indication of me not understanding butch and femme - it’s an understanding that no matter how old you get, you are constantly on a journey to understand yourself better. Or, at least, you should be.

At one point I identified as pansexual as well as bisexual, and I like the header art with the pansexual flag in it which was made for me years ago, so even though I no longer identify as pansexual, I’m keeping it until I find something I like better. You’d think I wouldn’t have to explain all this but people love picking at these things.

No, I am not going to debate the history or meaning of butch and femme with you or anyone. The links are in my header.

If you’re here to hateread, do yourself a favor and don’t. That’s just not healthy. And for the love of G-d, stop linking to my posts. I can see your posts, y’all; I have a site tracker. It’s just awkward and kind of sad.

Okay, so anyway.

Radfems, TWERFs, SWERFs and REGs/Exclusionists are explicitly not welcome here, and I do not want my family stories or life used for your politics. I block all of these categories, full stop. Radfems & TWERFs/TERFs deny the essential humanity of myself and my daughter and Exclusionists are just sort of painfully clueless about community history and what the community actually looks like offline. if you self-ID as one of those, please save us all the trouble and just don’t. If you’ve reblogged one of my posts and added something about how this proves one of your points, please pretend you respect other people and take it down.

If you are here because you don’t understand the post about the dog that attacked me, or its point, either legitimately or because you don’t really want to get it & want to argue with me about it, tell me I need to get counseling for my fear of dogs, tell me I’ve compared men to dogs, please go read seananmcguire explaining the post to someone who already sent me an ask about it. That pretty much covers why the post exists. Also you should buy and read Seanan’s books.

Also, also, all of the stories about @seananmcguire you’ve heard are probably true if they’re bizarre or funny. Especially the one about the lizard and the one about the frog.

If you’re here to tell me my views on asexuality & the queer community are wrong or that stuff I lived through & you weren’t born yet for is ‘ahistorical,’ go away. This blog is explicitly anti-gatekeeping for the Not-Straight Club.

If you’re here about the post about my great-grandmother, I kind of don’t have it in my heart to answer all the sad family stories. If you shared a family story on that post, thank you. If you want to use it to make some sort of gross radfem point about marital rape or some comment about how my great-granddad should have learned to pull out, I’m gonna block you without answering you. Don’t be gross.

If you’re here about the tiny house post, please read the notes, I’m not gonna explain it again.

Anon is never turned on, but if you ask me not to publish an ask, I won’t. Please remember to put that in the ask.

So here’s some stuff you should know about me:

I’m older than large portions of Tumblr, and in a fair number of cases I’m probably twice your age or more. If that’s a problem, I really am not offended if you aren’t cool with interacting with me. Age can be a powerful unbalancer in social relationships. I AM going to get annoyed if you start ‘explaining’ stuff I lived through to me and insisting you know my history better than I do.

Since it bears repeating one more time: I’m not interested in interacting with TWERFs, SWERFs, or ace-exclusionary queers. I’ve been Out for nearly 30 years & I really have no desire to argue my lived experience with anyone. I explicitly reject the term SGA.

My immediate family consists of my spouse @dadhoc, our beloved @apocalycious, my teenage daughter @mistresskabooms and stepson, my adopted son Owl, and DadHoc, MK and I’s 3 dogs: Lyudmila Pupperchenko (Mila), Captain Malcolm Reynolds (Cap), and Ser Davos Seawoof (Davos).

My brother’s band is Downtrodder and you should listen to them, because they’re awesome.

No one in my immediate family is cis or het. I have been called Spider for 20+ years, & now a lot of people call me Mama Spider.

In this house we understand that Ally is a verb, and it’s possible to be antagonistic toward a marginalization that you possess. Internalized transphobia, ableism, etc. are hellacious things to uproot. In this house we try to stay in our lanes & we understand call-outs while being aware of the toxic parts of call-out culture. Be cool to teenagers: you were one, and yes, the shit you said was just as stupid. You don’t win points for browbeating a teenager over an idea, you just look like a jerk.

I used to have a lot of paragraphs here about specific beliefs of mine, but really: Ally is a verb, intersections matter, capitalism is broken and cannot be fixed. I understand the difference between a bolt of linen and four shirts and believe that labor is entitled to all it creates. My class is ‘petit bourgeois,’ as I have seized the means of my own production.

If you screw up and you say something that hurts someone, say you’re sorry, and try not to do it again. It’s not that hard! Don’t tell them they shouldn’t be hurt. This goes double if it was an accident. “I didn’t know that was offensive, I’m sorry for hurting you. I’ll be more mindful in the future.” See how easy that is? That’s how we do in this house.

I’m bisexual, non-binary, disabled, neurodiverse, and don’t want pity or to hear how sorry you are for either of those last two things. Being autistic is just fine, and it didn’t happen because I was vaccinated. I have PTSD and GAD, and I live with both of them. They’re terrible roommates but I’ve got used to them. I’d like it if people would just stop throwing shade at the invisibly ill when we park in handicapped spots – I’m missing part of my spine, for fuck’s sake – and playing Oppression Olympics will get you stern looks and no dessert.

In this house we do nerd culture, there are no fake geek girls, and we understand that women invented masked superheroes (The Scarlet Pimpernel), science fiction (Mary Shelley), the modern novel (Jane Austen), dystopia fiction (Mary Shelley again), computer programming (Ada Lovelace and the ENIACs, which is my new band name), and got Star Trek on the air (Lucille Ball).

If I didn’t cover it, assume if it involves being a jerk or punching down, I’m not okay with it.

If it involves dogs being adorable, otters, mermaids, spiders, most of the major fandoms Tumblr loves (I can’t get into Supernatural, sorry, I tried), or people doing awesome shit, I am definitely here for that.

I am a Social Justice Paladin. I tank trolls. I used to think I was a Rogue, but, yeah, I tank trolls.

About six months ago, someone started calling me the ‘Non-Binary Regent of Summer,’ and I ran with that like an Olympic torch. Yep. It me.

@hypoallergeniccuddles thinks I’m secretly Mrs. Weasley.

That may be true also. If so, please remember what happens when you fuck with Molly’s children.

Welcome. Supper is at seven, the Wizard Home will make a room for you if you need it.

This post will be repeated a few times over the next few days so everyone sees it. <3 Thanks. I’m glad you’re all here.

#faq #byf

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caps-clever-girl · 5 years

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thoughts on endgame.

fair warning, i am not going to be kind. i enjoyed watching this movie, for the most part. it was funny; it had many good jokes and good, pure and well done interactions between multiple characters. but i didnt like it, and here are the reasons why.

unfortunately, this isnt a ‘nitpicky’ post. my main problems are with a lot of the bigger points points of the film, and had quite a few. this is a LONG post.

• “marvels first gay character!!!!!!!!!!!!” shut up. you joined the ‘fad’ late for brownie points and it was a cameo character who got about 3 lines. there are plenty of canon queer and gay characters who could have been introduced, either as cameos or in earlier films. dont even get me started on the fact that tony has more canon bi material than most others and marvel could have taken the time or even the slightest bit of effort to make this. while i enjoyed the jokes about steve being Incredibly Hot and his ass being Gods Gift To America (which honestly??? correct!) that could have been expanded on. several characters made comments about how nice steve’s ass is, and could have been used as actual material for a queer character, instead of sticking a random chharacter in there. i get the whole ‘gay people could be anyone! its normal!’ thing by giving the ‘role’ to a regular person, but you would also prove that by making any one of your 30+ main cast actually queer instead of making gay jokes and hints that could be retconned and explained away by humour.

• slapping someone out of a panic attack, and treating the panic attack like a joke. yeah, i get it, they didnt have a lot of time. still, come on. did iron man 3 teach you nothing? apparently not since tonys ptsd was pretty much never brought up again.

• speaking of thor. now, i am not an expert, but when a person gains weight, they do not keep their abs. certainly not after five entire years - not even asgardians. i also found it odd that thor became the way he did. i understand gaining weight and comfort eating after all the trauma thor went through losing his home and brother and people, i really do, but 1.) do it properly, at least, and 2.) thor is the leader of his people. does he want the task? not particularly. he hasnt wanted to be king since the first thor movie, but hes been forced into the role. even depressed i dont think thor would shy away from it, not completely. hes always wanted to do right by his people and i think that hed stuck to it, especially after The Snap backing him into a corner, if that makes sense. to clarify, i dont have a problem with chubby/fat thor. (IF done right instead of with weird, shitty cgi, that is.) i have a problem with the fact that thor, even though he doesnt want to be king, would abandon the last remanents displaced people to build a new home all on their own and become a hermit gamer boy. ESPECIALLY with valkyrie around. she’s been through a derpressive, alcohol fuelled time in her life and thor pulled her out of it. (mostly anyway, asgardians are party animals and im p sure she still gets trolleyed on the reg) i have bo doubt that after years of wallowing she would do her damned best to try and kick his ass out of it, even if it were just because his people need a leader, instead of letting him drop everything on her and just let him stew while new asgard gets on with it. i also didnt like the fact that all of thors emotional moments were treated as jokes and made to be funny when hes genuinely Fucked Up about eveything thats happening and made his image into a whiny crybaby.

• professor hulk. more of a personal one, this, simply because i just didnt like it. fair enough if y’all disagree on this one, im not going to fight it. i just never saw him wanting to combine himself with the hulk. ever. when he apleared on the screen i was completely blindsided, and his explanation, and the way he interacted with the kids????? i just want to know where all of this confidence suddenly came from. i use the term ‘suddenly’ loosely, since its been five years, but bruce has never been the guy to care about strength or looks or fame. hes always been shy and nerdy. not afraid to stand his ground or make his opinion known. hes bot a catchphrase, posing and flexing ‘hell yeah lets take a selfie’ guy. i get that thats maybe the result of the hulk and bruces combined personality but it just felt WEIRD to me, like, there wasnt a time in the film where i felt comfortable with the character. this was the final avengers film, with all of the original six avengers in it. but it didnt feel like that, it didnt feel like bruce or the hulk was in the film, even though there was a lot of funny and good moments with orofessor hulk, it felt like a stranger with some familiar characteristics. it ruined any feelings of nostalgia for me. i like bruce, and i like the hulk. i like the way their differences add to the story and the way they interact with eachother, and the slow change in their relationship. sorry if its petty but i prefer them seperate, theres just so much more to them for me.

• clint and natasha’s journey for the soul stone. both times, in infinity war and endgame, a male character and a female character went to get the soul stone. both times the male came back and the female died, and we lost possibly two most developed and main-line female characters in the entire mcu. now i understand the reasoning for both, and out of the characters that went there, i agree with the choice. thanos and gamora; it was thanos who was aware of the sacrifice and who chose to make it. gamora didnt get a choice and was unaware until it was too late. thanos was never going to die there. he knew there would be a sacrifice and chose to take gamora, because she would be the most likely sacrifice to actualky sucsesfully yield the soul stone because she was the most loved by him. i get it, but we lost gamora and i dont like it. clint and natasha; looking at it completely objectively, clint has a family, a wife and three children, that he wants to get back. natasha does not have any children, nor any (blood) family. if i had to choose, based on facts like that, id choose her too. but i still hate it, because there goes the only female member of the avengers. also, nebula (and i think maybe rocket?) KNEW that a sacrifice would be made and either accidentaly or deliverately left out the terms of aquiring the soul stone. it would have been easy to tell, if not easy to solve. but nothinb was said, and two best friends had to make a fucking awful and horrible choice when they might not have had to.

• on the ‘feminism’ tangent; the random congragation of women in the end scene??????? i dont????? okay so i am marking myself as a hypocrite here because i did love this scene!!! it made my lil gay heart go boom to see so many good and strong women all in one place - ESPECIALLY rescue - and it also made me realise how many women there actually are across the mcu??? which was really nice?? but it just felt... so forced? the way they ALL suddenly apleared and stood together even though they were all mixed in around the battlefield. it was a wonderful thought and i did enjoy it, but it seemed too Off and Odd to seem as much more than a bid for Feminism Brownie Points.

• captain marvel. i dont know about you, but i was actually looking forward to her being in the film. for a character so hyped to be the saviour of the avengers and the end of thanos, she was barely in the film. ‘i have other planets to save, the earth isnt the only one affected by thanos’ yeah but earth is the only plannet actively attacked by him. its where the people who are rallying to fight him and reverse what he did are. dont you want to stick around and help them? surely it would be a hell of a lot easier with your help, and faster too. yes, she blasted theough the ship at the end, but she did fuck all to help defeat thanos himself, and the help she did give with the ship came at the end. i genuinely think they kept her out of the movie because she was too powerful, and would have made fighting thanos etc too easy to get all the suffering and noble sacrifices in. if she had been a side character i dont think id be as mad, but she got a whole MOVIE in which she is clearly the start of the entire avengers initiative; she is their HISTORY!!!! she is so powerful!!!! and yet she has 5 mins of screen time!! it pisses me off that she was So Strongly implied to be the character the avengers NEEDED, the one that without whom it would be IMPOSSIBLE to defeat thanos; the woman that really tipped the scales in there favour, and yet she did fuck all. (and lets not even get started on the carol/rhodey and carol+tony bromance we COMPLETELY missed out on.)

• (speaking of bonding what the fuck happened to tony and nebula????? after they were rescued it was like they never met)

• the whole entire concept of time what the fuck!!! ‘dont change anything’ okay well for the most part you did okay, and the PLAN and CONCEPT was actually really easy to grasp, at least to me, which is hard when working with paradoxes and wibbley-wobbley timey-wimey stuff. but that went out the water when past!thanos and his army were brought into the future and disintergrated. does this mean they’re dead in the past - since they would have just. Left and not come back and therefore ceased to exist from that point???? or did tonys Snap simply send them back to their point in time, with no memory of what had occured? idk because it aint explained.

• speaking of; loki. again - his past changed; he managed to escape, with the tessarect. this is not explained nor expanded upon. assuming the events of thor 2 came about - which were impossible if he escaped - then his timeline would carry on as normal, and would PERHAPS explain the tessarects wacky timeline. (i dont know for certain, because i cant work it out anyway). but loki disspearing means he wouldnt have gone to trial on asgard, nor would he wouldnt have been in thor 2 - also by extention meaning that frigga is still alive. technically if he went back to get odin off the throne anyway, everything else after thor 2 involving loki/asgard would still come to pass. either way, we dont know. it was a nice way for endgame to give fans what we wanted; the posibility of loki coming back. but it doesnt make a lick of sense, and we have no idea if hes still alive/escaped or not, and why. personally i have no fucking idea and im pretty sure it was a cop out so they could give us what we wanted. which brings to my other point:

• giving the audience what we wanted. we got loki interaction. we got loki ‘escaping’ and ‘surviving’ (????) we FINALLY got rescue, who many fans have been asking for since i think iron man 2, and even more so since The Badass That Was Pepper Potts in im3. we got morgan stark and tony and pepper married, we got jokes about steves ass, and more jokes about male characters admiring how hot other male characters are. and, most importantly, we got tony having the nice relaxing life he wanted out in his cabin in the woods with his wife and kids (even if it was a horrific way of getting there). i dont quite know how to explain it, but to me it seemed like they were shoving as many ‘fan-requests’ into the film as possible - so that when they killed off 2 of the original 6, and removed another by ageing him out of use, they could lessen the backlash and justify the changes by going ‘but you got so mych that you wanted beforehand!!’. a tactic they drenhed us with because one of those 2 was a fan favourite that people were BEGGING not to be killed off because they felt that he hadnt recieved anywhere near the peace or happiness he deserved so far - and now never will. which brings me to:

• tony’s death.

there are two parts to this.

one, i was incredibly pissed off because strange’s Big Plan, the ONLY reason he saved tony in infinity war, was so tony could use the gauntlet and kill himself anyway later. anyone in that film could have used that gauntlet - and many wouldnt have suffered fatal injuries; captain marvel, steve, t’challa, peter quill to name a few possibilities - basically, anyone who is in anyway enhanced would have had a better chance of surviving and would have therefore been the better choice; aka, half the mcu. i think it was a proximity thing; tony was closest. he had the oppertunity and the others didnt. but tony didnt know about the option of using it until strange looked at him and gave him ‘the signal.’ the signal to sacrifice himself. and of course, this is tony stark. when is he ever going to refuse that.

but reason two, and this is the one that stings the most; tony started the mcu.

in my opinion, he is the character who has put the most in during the whole ten years. he, of ALL the characters, deserves his happy ending of marrying the love of his life and having a kid, without constantly fearing that hes foing to have them ripped away from him, that hes going to have to fight to the death to keep them safe.

one of my friends, when i complained about tony dying, said; “it was his time. plus, he had a legacy! with pepper and morgan, and the iron man name. how can you be upset?”

i can be upset because tony got the happiness he wanted after losing exactly 50% of what he held dearest. i can be upset because hawkeye got his family back, but tony only got five years with his wife and less with his kid, instead of getting the oppertunity to grow old with his wife and watch his kid go to collage like clint will. i can be upset because the character that has gone through the most trauma, both physically and mentally, who spent the last ten years trying to better the world and everything in it and protect it, who got the most shit for every decision he made and who ended EVERY SINGLE FILM with a broken limb or his face littered with bruises and cuts while every other film centric character ended the film usually scrape free, didnt get his happy fucking ending. sure, he has a legacy. but i dont give a shit, because that legacy - of iron man, of morgan and pepper and stark industries - would have been there whether tony was alive to see it flourish or not. but he wont be.

this goes beyond being a ‘tony stan’ or tony being my favourite character. out of every single character, from start to finish, anthony edward stark fucking deserved a happy ending and by god he deserved it the most. i will argue that until my end of days.

i watched tony stark on screen for ten years, and i watched him get progressively more scarred and fucked up. his parents. the ten rings. losing yinsen. obie. vanko and hammer. the palladium poisoning. new york; the nuke and the wormhole. the ptsd, the panic attacks. the iron legion and retirement attempt. killian and extremis and the end of that returement attempt. wanda’s vision. jarvis being destroyed. the accords and subsequent civil war. finding out about the winter soldier and his hand in his parents death. finding out that steve knew. siberia. struggling to balence iron man and the accords. losing peter. being stranded on titan, in space for weeks.

tony in that wheelchair, shaking and rail thin and unable to stand for more than a few moments will haunt me forever.

i watched him suffer for ten years - longer, even, in-universe - clawing for his quiet, happy ending while fighting for the happy ending he thought the rest of the world deserved, and instead of getting rewarded he just got beaten down and beaten down. after ten fucking hears of watching the backbone of the entire franchise get nothing but shit piled on him until he struggled to breathe for it, excuse me for thinking he woukd finally get the chance to crawl out from under it and be happy. no strungs attatched, no awful, sacrificial price to be payed, just for a man who had given so. fucking. much. to finally get something for once, and be allowed to keep it.

well i was wrong. and i feel so incredibly fucking stupid for even hoping otherwise.

and thats what i didnt like about avengers endgame.

#thanos might have snapped first but now its my turn #endgame spoilers #marvel #avengers #thor #bruce banner #tony stark #squeak.txt #rant #avengers 4 #captain marvel #iron man

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mst3kproject · 6 years

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605: Colossus and the Headhunters

I usually find the Hercules/Maciste episodes of MST3K to be pretty good fun, and as you could probably tell from the number of similar films I’ve used as Episodes that Never Were, I do enjoy the genre. It was therefore a surprise to realize I hadn’t seen Colossus and the Headhunters in literally years, and I wondered why not. The answer? I think it’s because it’s honestly kind of dull.

As the movie begins, some unfortunate cave people are crushed when a volcano showers them in styrofoam boulders. Whether they have anything to do with the more Greco-Roman folks we see in the speaking roles, I don’t know – but mere moments after young Ario’s dying father charges him with finding their people a new home, Maciste shows up! He leads them to his raft on the beach, and they set sail as the whole island falls apart. I hope that wasn’t supposed to be Atlantis. It wasn’t nearly impressive enough to be Atlantis.

Anyway, they decide to head for the land of the Uriels, where there’s supposed to be a city of gold. Some undetermined amount of time later, they get there, but there’s no golden city waiting for them, just a tribe of guys in kerchiefs who shoot Maciste and take everybody else prisoner. This is merely a misunderstanding, however – these are the Uriels, whose city of gold was taken over by the evil Kermes with the help of his following of Headhunters! At first Maciste isn’t interested, since he doesn’t want to take on a new project until he’s done saving the island people, but when the Headhunters attack the Uriel camp, he can’t just leave them to be slaughtered.

I love the name Kermes. It sounds like something you’d get if The Muppet Show put on a sketch about Greek mythology. Mighty Gonzeus rules Olympus, with his brother Fozzeidon and his messenger Kermes! Actually, there are a lot of amusing names in this one. If the hero is My Cheesesteak, then the deposed king is Honey Badger, and IMDB insists there’s a character named Gunk.

There are a number of other rather cynical observations I find myself making while watching this movie. One is that, despite the fact that nearly all the cavemen we saw killed in the opening were male, there seem to be at least twice as many men as women among the refugees – both the island people and the Uriels. This could be a problem for both groups.

Then there’s the fact that the movie can’t make up its mind just how strong Maciste is. When he’s shot by an arrow he pulls it out and then just walks away despite the blood pouring down his chest, and in scenes no more than a day or so later, he’s completely healed. Yet just two or three opponents can keep him busy enough to allow Kermes and his toady to escape? But wait, in the final battle he takes on ten at a time with ease? He couldn’t bend the metal bars of a portcullis, but he finds his way into the prison chamber beyond by punching through a stone wall? And how the hell did he miss the giant lever that raises the portcullis, anyway?

The dialogue is remarkably inane. Most of the lines seem to be things like, “don’t worry, it’ll be all right,” “we’re being defeated,” and “be quiet.” The English dubbing is half-assed at best, never matching the lip movements and voiced without enthusiasm. The costumes are ridiculous. Most of the island people wear brightly patterned loincloths. The Uriel priest wears a diaper on his head and Amoa sports a series of silly costumes, some of which she has visible trouble walking in.

When I reviewed Goliath and the Vampires, I noted that Maciste movies were rarely in continuity with each other – this is a fine example. It was made by the same director as Fire Monsters Against the Son of Hercules just a year later, and in fact the opening volcanic eruption is lifted from the earlier movie. In Fire Monsters Against the Son of Hercules, Maciste was played by a guy named Reg Lewis, who walked off into the sunset with Princess Moa at the end. In Colossus and the Headhunters, our hero is Kirk Morris, who leaves at the end with a different girl. No attempt is made to even pretend the two stories happen in the same universe. Indeed, Colossus and the Headhunters might almost be a remake!

Consider: both stories concern a group of refugees who aren’t much welcome in their new home. The locals are ruled by a usurper, aided by members of a third tribe rather more savage than the other two, while the deposed queen quietly refuses to marry him. Maciste is able to bring about peace between the two groups by saving them both from disaster, and at the end the queen runs off with him instead of taking her place as ruler, I guess because girls would rather give blow jobs than orders.

If Colossus and the Headhunters is just a second stab at Fire Monsters Against the Son of Hercules, then we should probably ask if it’s any better. Well… sort of. There are no terrible felt monsters in this one, and the things that go on are slightly less ridiculous, but in a way that actually hurts the movie. If you read my review of Fire Monsters Against the Son of Hercules, you’ll remember that it was bad enough to be downright hilarious. Colossus and the Headhunters has significantly less in it that’s over-the-top enough to be funny. There are breathing corpses, plastic skeletons, and a cosmetology class’ mannequin head on top of a pole, but it’s not quite corny enough to get a laugh. People topple off a rope bridge into a river, but they’re not dramatic enough to be funny (though Maciste’s reaction to getting hit with an arrow is pretty close). The dubbing is bad, but not amusing-bad, and so on.

In a couple of others ways, Colossus and the Headhunters is significantly worse, for example in its portrayal of cultures. In Fire Monsters Against the Son of Hercules, the Sun and Moon tribes were quite simplistic but they were internally consistent and you could sort of see how each one worked. In Colossus and the Headhunters we meet three different peoples, none of whom even come close to that. The island people, of course, we barely see – they flee their homeland and then most of them vanish while only Ario accompanies Maciste to save the Uriels. The headhunters are stock savages in briefs and warpaint, so the only ones we get to see very much of are the Uriels themselves.

We don’t exactly see them at their best, of course – their golden city is in ruins and the remnants of their people are hiding in the woods or living in tents in a field. What we do see, however, is a weird mix of motifs that never manages to gel. There are Grecoey-Romany elements, particularly in the costumes, but the artefacts range from the pseudo-medieval to the pseudo-Aztec, while many of the names (such as Amoa) sound almost Polynesian. Then there’s stuff like the ridiculous purple tutu Amoa’s handmaiden (her name is Moana, and the last time I watched this episode was so long ago that wasn’t funny yet) wears to dance at her mistress’ wedding, which doesn’t belong in any sort of ancient past.

Also, Fire Monsters Against the Son of Hercules was actually about its two peoples and what happened when they found themselves competing for resources. In Colossus and the Headhunters, the island people who are first to be introduced are ultimately irrelevant. For most of the story they’re off hiding somewhere while Maciste takes time out to help the Uriels. Only Prince Ario sticks around, and he never does anything of importance. Why are they even in this movie? The only thing that would be missing without them is about fifteen minutes of screen time.

There’s no shortage of things that time could have been better spent exploring. For example, they could have thrown in some actual development to the romance between Amoa and Maciste, which comes out of nowhere. He is captured and brought to her tent, where she tells him about the prophecy that a man will come from the sea to solve all the Uriels’ problems. Maciste protests that he can only save one civilization at a time, and Amoa calls him a coward. The next time she sees him is after he came back to save her father, and she immediately confesses her undying love. I guess he’s been kind of heroic by then, but even before that she’s talking about him to her handmaiden and implying she’s already in love with him.

At the end, Amoa swims out to Maciste’s little raft and heads off to sea with him, even as he begs her to stay behind. This isn’t the ending we want for Amoa – after Kermes earlier mocked her by telling her he was the only one who could give her a throne, and that the ‘delicate shoulders of a woman’ could not bear the burden of rule, we want to see her take her rightful place as Queen of the Uriels. Other characters nod sagely and say she might be back someday, but it’s still kind of a letdown, as if Kermes was right and girls just aren’t up to the job of politics.

My overall feeling about Colossus and the Headhunters is that it’s pretty blah. It’s neither good enough nor bad enough to be entertaining – the MST3K commentary livened it up a lot, but without it, it’s not really worth the effort. This one really needed a couple of guys in cheap monster suits to liven it up.

#mst3k #reviews #colossus and the headhunters #my cheese steak #60s

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futurewriter2000 · 6 years

Text

Secrets and lies ~ Part 4

A/N: OMG YAS I love this part and I love next part even though I still haven’t written it yet but I just love it. You guys will hate me so much but I love you.

TAGS: @huflerin , @shadyladyperfection , @geeksareunique , @nadinissavage , @paigeyisme , @mrsdaamneron

Other parts ---> MASTERLIST

¥￦¥ ~ means the reader is dreaming

¥￦¥

“I would choose you in a heartbeat.” he blurted out and walked around the desk to you. “You are my baby sister. My everything. The one who knows all my secrets and shares all my memories with. ”

“Remus…”

“I can’t… You need to break it off with him.”

You stood from your desk in a light second, throwing his hands away and pushing the chair so fiercly it almost flew on the other side of the library. “WHAT!?!” you boiled in anger as you saw his face.

His eyes avoided your gaze as he clasped his hands together. “I’m trying to protect you.” he spoke quietly and calming.

“Well stop it! I’ve done nothing than be a good sister to you. I haven’t done anything to embaress you, I took care of you John when you couldn’t! I loved you when you didn’t even love yourself and I still do!” you shouted through the whole library.

“Damn it Lu! Stop it! Stop rebelling and stop calling me John! it’s Remus! REMUS!”

“Well my name is not Lu! It’s (y/n)! (Y/N)!” you mocked him and leaned on the table.

He was standing up by now. His eyes glaring at yours as his frown growing angrier than ever. “Break.it.off.” he growled and leaned even closer. “If not, I’m telling him about Regulus.”

¥￦¥

It kept repeating. The whole scene kept repeating. You had no clue why but one of your worst memories was repeating itself.

Your brother betraying you. Over and over again.

That memory.

But somehow, even though the dreams kept repeating, you still felt his touch on your hand, hearing the same words leaving his soft yet broken voice. "Please wake up, Lu. Wake up for me."

'I want to Johnny. I want to wake up for you. So bad! I need to wake up! I need to wake up!' you tried to speak but it was only the voice in your head trying to reach out.

You couldn't move nor speak, only listen.

"Remus. Why don't you go get a shower and some rest. I'll stay up with her." Lilly's voice came from afar. Her just as soft and broken as his.

"No." he spoke determined, squeezing your hand even tighter. "She didn't tell me. She should have told me. She- she... Why didn't she tell me?" he sobbed, not knowing if he was sad or mad or just desperate. Maybe all three of those things but there was a chance he felt just as betrayed as you.

"She wanted to. She just saw that you were finally happy." Lilly simpered and squeezed Remus' shoulder.

'Yes, Lilly tell him it's not his fault. Tell him I wanted to tell him so bad it was just never the right time. Tell him I didn't want to burden him.' your voice spoke once again.

"It's not your fault, Remus." she spoke quetly, like she was hearing what you wanted to say. "It's mine."

'Oh for God's sake!'

"No. Something was wrong. Something was wrong with my little sister and I was so busy with my friends and with her not being with Sirius, I completly ignored her. She's sick and she couldn't even tell me. It's my fault. Mine. I wasn't too good of a brother." said Remus, still holding your hand and watching you as you laid on the bed, so peacefully. "Look at her. It's like the first day when she came home to me. So peacful. Quiet." he simpered. "Really miss her like that. I know it's only been three days but what I would do to hear that annoying and obnoxios voice of hers."

'Um, excuse me! I am not obnoxios or annoying!'

"You know what she would say right now. 'Excuse me! I am not obnoxious or annoying!'" said Lilly, trying to impersonate you as best as she could.

' If you must know. You forgot the 'um' '

"Yeah but you forgot the 'um'. She would say. 'um, excuse me!'" mocked Remus and chuckled with Lilly as both of them started impersonating you.

'You better wish I don't wake up. Best friends my arse...'

"She would probably kick our arses if she heard us." chuckled Lilly and touched your shoulder.

'Oh...don't you dare touch me you traitor. '

"You know I told her many times to tell you. She just never listened. " she said and let go of you.

"Stubborn. Just like our mom." replied Remus.

"You know, the day we met was the weirdest day in my life. " chuckled Lilly and pulled herself a chair to sit next to your brother. "It was on Hogwarts Express and I was just storming back to my compartment with Severus when I entered the wrong one, seeing her curled up in a corner, watching me with those terrified big (y/e/c) eyes. I asked her what was wrong and she said she is mad at her brother so she's hiding from him because he's too overprotective of her."

'I remember that day. And she..'

"...plopped down next to her, sighing I totally understand her because I was hiding from a boy also. So the whole ride there we were just sitting there. For the first hour there was only silence but the next few hours we talked and laughed and it ended up being one of the best days ever. That was until you stormed in and started chasing her."

'And then he..'

"...turned her hair bright blue so I don't lose her again. Yes, I remember that day too." he continued the story, glancing at Lilly and back at you. " Yeah, I know. I was an awful brother."

'Well, that's completly not true. You are still an awful brother.'

"But she loves me for being like that." grinned Remus and turned to Lilly.

'Yeah right!'

"Yeah right! Remus she despises you for that!" scoffed Lilly.

"No she doesn't. She just acts like she does but she secretly loves it." grinned Remus and nudged Lilly in the shoulder.

'Sometimes that's true. Most times it's not.'

"Perhaps." said Lilly and took Remus' hands, her expression completly serious. "Remus, you know you can't protect her forever. She is going to be 17 soon. She is old enough to make her own decisions, mistakes even. Let her experiance it."

'Oh Lills...'

"I know. I just can't seem to let her go, because when I do...." he paused for a moment and looked up at Lilly with a few tears in his eyes. "....because when I do this happens. When I was sick she always took care of me. She brought me creams and some herbal stuff for my scars. I really don't know what she gave me but after she took care of my scars, she brought me a whole package of chocolate and candy." he laughed and tears seemed to fall even harder. "She was 6 at the time. Six years old." he cried and let his head fall on Lilly's chest. "She took care of me when she was six years old and I can't even figure out when she is sick! I am such a horrible brother. Such a horrible horrible brother!"

'No Remus you are not! Remus you are not a horrible brother!' you tried to yell but the voice only echoed in your head. Merlin, you felt rage fill your body and tears burst on the surface . ' Damn this bloody coma! Wake up! WAKE UP!' you tried to scream, trying to overhear yourself over Remus' cries.

'It's not your fault Remus. Please... Please, stop crying.'

¥￦¥

"Lu! Oh my baby Lu! My darling baby Lu! My gorgeous darling baby LuLu!" teased Regulus and started laughing, holding on to his stomach and pointing his finger at you.

"You are the worst!" you tried to hold back your laugh, but were unfortunately unsuccessful. "I hate you!" you contined to laugh.

"Than why are you laughing!" he continued, holding his stomach and trying to climb on his bed.

"Come on Reg. He's my older brother. It's what they do."

"I know (y/n). It just sounds so funny and how come you never argue about it. I mean whenever anybody else calls you Lu, you freak out."

"Because Remus is the only one who can call me that. Maybe after years of him calling me that, it wouldn't be normal if he called me by my real name." you explained and sat down next to him.

"Perhaps you're right. I mean me and Sirius... I couldn't imagine my life without him. Without my older brother watching over me like an angel on my shoulder." he giggled and layed down on the bed.

"Angel?" you scoffed and layed right next to him. "More like the devil on your shoulder."

"Maybe now. He's only 14. He'll mature. I believe its just a phaze."

"Then how come you already matured?"

"Because I am an old soul in a young man's body. " he joked, earning a light punch in the shoudler from you.

"Yes, and if your brother will mature than my brother will stop acting like a total prick. Everything is possible if you only dream." you sighed and rolled over to Regulus. Placing your head on his chest, you wrapped your arm around his torso meanwhile his hand made its way to your hair and his fingers slowly ran through it.

"Hey (y/n)?" he spoke softly, his eyes set on the ceiling.

"Yes, Regulus." you giggled, nuzzling even closer.

"I love you."

As soon as you heard those words come from his mouth you shot your head up, his smile still not fading away as yours did. "You what?" you asked shockingly, eyes wide and jaw dropped.

"I love you." he smiled and took a hold of your hand. "I love you, (y/n) and .... "

￦¥￦

"... And I should have said that before. I have always loved you. " spoke the voice, waking you up from your dream as his lips softly touched your hand.

'Regulus?' you puzzled for a moment thinking was it his voice you were hearing or Sirius'?

"Please wake up. I can't bare another day without you. Without your smile and your annoying laugh. Without your charming eyes and snarky comments. Please, come back."

'Sirius.' you thoughts wandered as the voice became clearer.

"It's me. Sirius. And I'm only telling you this because I hope you will wake up. I want you to wake up." he persisted.

'No shit Sherlock and I sure want to be stuck on this bed.'

"I miss you. I hope you know that." he said and squeezed your hand even tighter.

'I miss you too, Sirius.'

His hand slowly let go of yours, only fingertips touching. "I love you. I hope you know that too." he said before you heard the door close behind him.

'He loves me?'

Laying in bed for 4 days straight now was uncomfortable as hell. Your legs were completly sore as your whole body was. Everything hurt, everything was so uncomfortable.

The loneliness was worse. You hated being alone in the hospital room. The only people who visited were your friends and Remus. But as your family did visit all they did was cry so you’d rather wish they didn't come. It's not like you're dead. You're just in a coma. No biggie. Right?

You heard a long crack come from the door. It cracked like this everytime somebody slowly entered the room. You noticed this by now because the nurses kept bursting in and the crack wasn't heard, but when somebody slowly opened the door the crack was heard quite clearly through the silence.

So did the steps. Gentle steps, wood cracking as it bent. And you knew who it was. Just by his steps, you knew who it was.

What did you feel? Why were you so damn excited he was here. So remusexcited you could basicly fly and jump in his arms.

"Hey there Queenie." he chuckled and pulled out a chair.

'Regulus.'

See that’s what you do when you ask for part 2 in the first place. You get this. Hope you liked this part, the next one will be shown from Lilly’s, Remus' , Sirius' and Regulus' perspective so can't wait.

#sirius black #sirius black x reader #sirius black imagine #sirius x reader #remus lupin #remus lupin imagine #james potter imagine #james potter #lilly evans #lilly evans imagine #peter pettigrew #peter pettigrew imagine #marauders imagine #marauders #marauders era #the marauders

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