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kireimarkeu · 4 years

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To You; l.dh

+another repost! did not make any changes to this work :) p.s this is one of my fav fics i have written :)

summary; bored in quarantine, your boyfriend decides to film himself telling you how much he loves you.

3k words

this was like… ½ edited LMFAO so there might,,, be mistakes…??? this was so tiring to make omfg, enjoy!! lol

also i mixed the name donghyuck and haechan bc i couldn’t choose one lmfao ok!!! bye gn enjoy!! :)))))))

warnings: there’s a word f*t in it

+Day 1 3:34PM

Haechan adjusted the camera, making sure he could be seen. Once he was sure the camera was reflecting him properly, he leaned back against his gaming chair.

“Um,” your boyfriend started, looking everywhere but the camera. “This is awkward,” he says, looking back at the camera.

“I started this, since we won’t be able to see each other for a month- because of quarantine,” he explains, “I honestly have no idea what I’m doing right now,” he laughs.

After a few minutes of pure silence, your boyfriend opened his mouth to continue speaking, “I just feel like— I never really show much love to you?”

There were times where your boyfriend would purposely avoid saying ‘I love you’ or avoid holding your hands whenever the both of you were outside. Honestly, you didn’t really mind, knowing Donghyuck was never the type to show affection.

“It’s hard,” he says truthfully, “The boys knows how much I love you, and it sucks that I don’t know how to show you— or tell you, that I love you.”

Haechan bit his lips nervously, “and, I think this video is- or will prove that I love you?”

He wasn’t sure if he was even making sense at this point.

Your boyfriend groaned, throwing his head back, covering his face with his hands. After a while, he looked back at the camera, “you know what, babe? Just watch the whole thing, okay?”

+Day 4 11:47PM

“Hi,” he smiles, letting out a huff, “this is kinda late, I spent the whole night playing games,” he says guiltily, playing with his fingers, looking away from the camera.

He knows that you didn’t like it when he would stay up until ungodly hours just to play games with his friends. You hated how he would put his health aside just to play games.

He brings his hands up to brush his wet hair.

“Uh,” he sighs out loud, pouting. “I feel bad for staying up late last night, so I’m going to spend the whole night with you today,” he laughs.

Another moment of silence pass.

“I don’t know what to say,” he whines.

He sat there in silence, staring at the ground, figuring out on what to say. Should he tell you about his day?

“Well, I woke up at 5PM today,” he tells you, “I ate dinner with my family— mom cooked chicken today!” he says happily, “Then, I went to call you for a bit because I missed you a little too much,” he pouts.

He scratched his head, “then I showered and now this-“ he says, pointing to the camera.

“Um, it has been 4 days and I miss you too much,” he says truthfully, “facetiming isn’t working, I think I’m going crazy,” he laughs.

+Day 5 7:38PM

He was talking halfway, talking about how much he admires you when his phone started ringing.

“Oh?” he turns around to grab his phone from his bed. A smile formed on his face when he saw you facetiming him.

He turned to the camera to show his screen, “Baby, you’re calling me,” he giggles before quickly answering to your facetime.

“Channie~” you whine cutely when your boyfriend answered your facetime, “what are you doing, hyuckie?”

Usually, your boyfriend would complain whenever you would speak in a cute voice, but he secretly likes it. He secretly likes being babied.

He looks at the camera that was recording the both of you.

“Nothing,” he lies, “why did you call me, loser?”

You huff, raising your arms so he could see you laying on the bed. “I’m bored, hyuckie~ entertain me~”

He leans back on his chair, “wanna play games with me?”

Your face beam at his words, “Okay! I’ll get my X-Box ready now.”

Your boyfriend was the one who bought for you the X-Box. Well, it was an old version, but you loved it, nonetheless. It wasn’t like you played daily— you only played with boyfriend.

“I’ll call you in 5, baby,” he tells you, already walking over to turn on the tv.

“Kay, bye-bye, love you, Hyuckie,” you say in a baby voice, bringing your phone closer to press your lips on the camera.

Donghyuck scrunched his nose in disgust, “yeah, yeah,” he says before ending the call.

He quickly grab the camera that was still recording, he moved the camera closer to press a kiss, “I love you too, y/n.”

+Day 7 3:01PM

“Do you remember when you gave me the teddy bear— Oh my gosh, I feel like a youtuber,” he cackles. He shook his head, focusing back to what he was saying.

“So, do you remember when you gave me the teddy bear?” he asks, “wait,” he says, standing up to grab the tiny teddy bear that was sitting on his bed.

You had bought him the bear during your 200th day with him. Donghyuck didn’t really give the reaction you wanted.

“Do you not like it?” you had asked him, disappointment laced in your voice. You didn’t dare look at him, upset with yourself that you had bought something that he didn’t like.

“No, no!” he quickly replied, wrapping an arm around your shoulder to pull you into his chest, the other holding the tiny bear. “I love it,” he says.

You knew it was a lie. He didn’t seem to like it.

“I love it,” he says, “I know I didn’t show like I did at that time, but I need it with me every time I go to bed.”

He scratches his head, regretting his actions that has had happened months ago.

“No one has ever bought me a bear before,” he explains, “and when you bought it for me, it just felt— I felt, I felt happy? I felt fulfilled? Do you know what I mean?”

“I really wanted to tell you that I loved your present, especially when you had bought me another present a few days later,”

‘it was to make up for the previous present’ was your reason.

It broke his heart when you said that while handing him a couple bracelet. He wanted to tell you how much he loved your gift, but it was so hard for him.

“I hated myself for not being able to tell you the truth, it’s hard—and it still is,” he sighs, “I hope by doing this, I can assure you that I love you..?”

+Day 10 9:34PM

He was in the middle of filming himself when his mother comes in.

“Donghyuck-ah, what are you doing? Do you want some fruits?” his mother asks, looking at his son, not noticing the camera perched on the dressing table.

Instead of answering his mother’s question, he grabs the camera to film his mother.

“Eomma, say hello to y/n,” Donghyuck says.

His mother raised her eyebrows in surprised, “hello my dear y/n~ how are you?”

Your boyfriend giggle from behind the camera, “tell her how much you miss her,”

“I think I miss you more than Donghyuck does,” she jokes. “What is this for, Donghyuck-ah?”

Haechan placed the camera back on the dressing table, turning to look at his mum.

“I’m making a video for y/n until quarantine is over,” he explains as his mother walks in, wrapping her arm around her son’s shoulder.

His mother’s heart warmed at his son’s words.

“You’re growing up way too fast, our Donghyuck~” she cooed, pulling your boyfriend’s cheeks as he whined in pain.

You would also pinch his cheeks almost every time the both of you are together. Whenever you had Donghyuck’s cheeks between your fingers, he would whine, pulling away from your grip.

“Eomma! I want strawberries!” he shouts after his mother left his room.

He turns his attention back to the camera, “Anyways—”

+Day 17 2:35AM

“I really like your eyes,” Haechan confesses dreamily, “your eyes are the colour of shit,” he jokes, “but they’re so shiny, baby,”

The first time he realizes he’s in love with your glimmering eyes was when he brought you out on a date to star gaze. You were staring at the sky, a smile plastered on your face, amazed at how beautiful the sky was.

When you noticed your boyfriend staring at you, you turned to face him. Your eyes captured his heart. How could someone have such bright eyes?

“Oh! And when you smile, you make my heart beat like crazy!” he chuckles.

The first thing that caught Hyuck’s eyes when he had a crush on you was your bright smile. He believes that was the main reason that he fell for you. How you would always have a beaming smile plastered on your face everywhere you go.

He thinks it’s adorable.

The small dimples that was on the side of your lips whenever you smile.

And your adorable little laugh he adores so much.

Or the little birthmark you had on the corner of your mouth.

After talking about you for a while, he let out a satisfied sigh, “I’m so whip for you, you know?”

After 17 days of making videos for you, it started becoming easier for him to show his love for you.

“Everything you do makes me go crazy, do you realise that?” he asks you, “do you realize that everything you do makes me happy? No, you don’t have to do anything, your presence makes me melt.”

He laughs at how he was flirting, “you’re probably laughing too,”

His laughter died down, letting out a tired sigh, “well, it’s late and I’m going to go to bed before you nag at me some more,”

He let out a yawn, “goodnight y/n, I love you so much, you don’t know how happy you make me,”

+Day 20 2:56PM

This time, it was different.

He was filming himself at McDonalds drive-thru.

“Guess who’s this for?” he asks the camera, his gaze on the road. “Yes, you.”

He turns to look at the camera for a second before paying attention on the road, “you didn’t ask me to get you anything but I wanted to get something for you,” he explains.

He was lying, this was just an excuse to see you, even for a second. Even if it’s 6 feet apart. Even if there was a glass between the both of you.

“I think you know the reason why I’m buying this for you,” he says, referring to the food. “To make you fat! You’re right, y/n,” he jokes.

That was also a lie. You tend to eat less whenever you’re stressed.

After he found out that you had a project, he knew how stress you would be, and decided to get food, making sure you eat healthily.

Your boyfriend would never fail to remind you how much he loves your body. No matter shape or size. He has always made sure you feel loved with who you are.

“I think you know the real reason why I’m coming over,” he adds. When he reaches a red light, he turns to look at the camera with a pout, “I can’t help it, I miss you too much, y/n,” he says in a baby voice.

He grimaces at his actions, shaking his head disapprovingly, “I am never doing that ever again.”

A few minutes later, he reached your house. He had texted you to that he was waiting for you outside.

It took you a while to come out, but when you did, you had one of his hoodies over your body.

He loves it when you wear his clothes, it makes him feel all giddy.

‘One day, I’m going to wear all of your clothes’ he would say whenever you steal his clothes.

You walked over to his car, “what the hell are you doing here, dummy,” you ask him, maintaining the distance.

He grabbed the bag of food from the passenger’s seat and passed it to you from the window of his car.

“Brought you food, you unappreciative bitch,” he tells you while you walk up to grab the food from him.

You open the bag to see your favourite food, “my favourite food, too?!” you squeal, “Haechan best boyfie~”

He rolls his eyes, “yeah, yeah, go and finish your project,”

You nodded, the smile not leaving your face.

“I’ll facetime you later?” he asks.

“At 11,” you confirmed.

He nods, signalling for you to go back in. You blow a kiss to your boyfriend before turning around to go back in.

He quickly fishes out his camera, filming you walking back in your house.

“Look at my baby all happy because I brought her food,” he says, “enjoy your food, pretty,”

+Day23 6:07PM

“Day 23,” he breathes out. “I didn’t expect it to go by so fast,” he blurts out.

He puffs his cheeks out, “I don’t want to stop making videos for you, but you would just make fun of me for being soft,”

He had started growing content on making videos for you every day.

“But at the same time, I can finally see you after a month, babe!” he says happily. “I can finally hold you in my arms, we can kiss until the world ends, we can also do it,” he says, wiggling his eyebrows.

Well, he can’t lie he did miss doing it with you.

He sighs, “anyway, when we can finally get together, we can watch movies, then come back to my place and we can cuddle!”

He missed that.

Personally, Donghyuck preferred going over to your place but you preferred going to his place because he had games and a huge bed, and it was just comfortable.

“Ahh,” he groan, “I miss you like crazy! I think I have to end this video early because I wanna facetime you right now,”

He grabs his phone on the table to call you.

“Okay, bye babe, I love you, I’m going to talk to you now!”

+Day 25 4:03AM

“Hi,” donghyuck greet the camera.

Anyone could realise he wasn’t in the best mood.

It took Donghyuck a while to start talking, “we had a fight earlier today,” he says, his voice lace with disappointment and… hurt?

You had texted him just an hour ago, ranting about your homework. When Donghyuck replied to you a minute later, you got angry at him because he was staying up again at ungodly hours.

He didn’t understand why you were so angry because you were awake at the same timing as he is.

“I’m going to give you space, because it’s what you need right now,” he says. “I hope you know I still love you no matter what,”

He bit his lip hesitantly, “I know you don’t like it when I stay up with the boys, but I don’t like you staying up to finish your work either, baby”

He closes his eyes shut for a moment, taking a deep breath. “I hope you don’t get too stressed over school, eat healthily, and make sure you rest from time to time, babygirl,”

He lets out another sigh before reaching for the camera, “I love you,”

+Day 28 7:36PM

Haechan purses his lips, staring at the camera, “today is a bad day,” he starts.

Today he had woke up a little earlier than normal after talking it out with you a few days ago. He decided to get up early and help his mom with cooking, which only resulted him in getting scolded by his mother for making a mess.

After that, he decided to play games with his friends, however despite playing for 5 hours straight, he didn’t get a single win.

Now, he has tried to contact you, but you have not replied to him. Probably busy with school.

He let out a huff, “take a break y/n,” he whines, “focus on me too~”

Letting out a pout he shakes his head, “kidding babe, get those A’s!”

“Well, now I don’t really have anything to do so I’m going to facetime you again, bye babe!”

+Day 30 10:18AM

“Hyuckie!” you call out, running to your boyfriend. When you reached him, you threw your arms around your boyfriend’s neck, making him stumble back a few steps as he grabs on your waist.

You hid your face in his neck, breathing in his scent. He smells so good.

“You’re not going to let go of me until I say so,” you mumble, tightening your grip around his neck.

He chuckles at you, “I won’t let go of you until you say so,”

Donghyuck was satisfied with having his arms wrapped around your waist, his face covered in your hair.

After a few moments of the both of you just holding each other, you finally pull away from your boyfriend.

“Y/n,” he says, making you hum.

“Wait,” you stop him, making him stare at you with wide eyes as he froze on the spot.

“Can you kiss me first?” you ask. His eyes soften at your request. Your fingers trace his bottom lips, “I miss your pretty lips.”

He smiles at your words and nodded. Pulling you closer by your waist, he pressed his lips against yours. Your hands rest on his chest while you both share a needy kiss.

After a few minutes, you pull away, breathless with crimson red cheeks.

Haechan raised his eyebrows as he resumed, “I made something for you,”

You gasped, “what is it?”

He fishes out a CD player. The CD held videos of him explaining how much he loves and appreciates you throughout the whole month.

He passes you the gift.

“Watch this at home?” he tells you.

You grab the CD from his grip, “okay? What is this all about?”

“Just promise me you’ll watch it at home?” he asks again, staring down at you.

“I will! I will!”

After making videos of himself for 29 days straight, Donghyuck have concluded that he was so utterly in love with you. He was so in love with you that he didn’t know how to express how much he adores you.

2K notes · View notes

butterbeerblurbs · 3 years

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tired but never of you (f.w.)

💌 : when you look tired and fred can sense it, he does what he does best. stealing you away from the crowd and self-care freddie activates.

📝 word count: 2,618 words / fred weasley x reader / 🌸 a fluffy mess

💬: just... live with me thru this guys 🤡

after numerous hours of studying and days of all-nighters, you finally had room to breathe again. It was nearly a couple more days before christmas break and boy oh boy you were excited to get a long week full of rest ahead. (though, you doubt you’d be able to squeeze in a week, maybe a day or two. mindful that you’d be spending christmas with fred and his family back in the burrow)

as you decide what to wear for a night out, there’s a knock on your door. angelina announces she’ll go answer and you reply with a mindless thank you as you stare yourself in the mirror, debating between two outfits on hangers over your body. with a small pout, unsure of which to choose, you hear the door closing and you call out to-”angelina, could you help me choose?”

you remain looking at your reflection, and when it feels longer than the usual time angelina takes to rush to you, you’re greeted with-”would freddie be alright?” you flinch at the pair of arms that sneak around your waist and you gasp as fred pops his head over your shoulder, grinning at you through the mirror.

your elbow nudges him playfully, getting him to move but he refuses, only squeezing you tighter, “you cheeky prat,” you huff at him, only to literally have heart eyes sparkling at him as he smiles at you with such warmth it’s making your heart full.

“hey there, beautiful,” fred murmurs, pressing a kiss to your lips, earning himself a satisfied smile from you. he pecks your lips a couple more times until he’s satisfied, moving himself away to sit on your bed as he watches you get dressed. you turn around to face him, now making him decide since he probably shooed angelina out of her shared dorm with you (as fred weasley would).

“help me choose, freddie? which one looks better?”

the boy snorts, “neither. maybe consider your pajamas?”

your brows knit together, face scrunching in confusion, “love, we’re going to the three broomsticks,”

“yeah,” he nods, leaning back into your pillow as he stares at you, “but you should be going to bed,”

he watches as you take a couple of seconds to process his words, before you groan and roll your eyes at him. you decide to go with your first option - a black velvet turtleneck dress paired with a white wool duffle jacket, shoving the other into the closet. fred makes himself known as he pulls your shirt off your body, staring at you through the mirror.

“c’mon, love, you know i think you look gorgeous everyday, anytime - even now! but you look like you got hit by a train,”

you nod a couple of times, a little preoccupied with getting dressed, half-ignoring him, “yeah? do i?”

he nods firmly, arms crossed in front of his chest, “absolutely. like the train dragged you for a few rounds to reach hogwarts and decided to keep going, too,”

“you’re quite the charmer, aren’t you, weasley?” you huff at him, blowing your fringe from your face as you grab ahold of your shedded clothes and shove them into the laundry basket. as you gather your hair to the side, fred smirks at your back exposed in front of him. but when you frown at him at the mirror at his lack of helpfulness, he decides to play later and helps to zip you up.

before you can reach for your jacket, he smoothen his palms on your waist, reeling you in as you make grabby hands at-”i want my jacket, freddie!”

“and i want you to stay in with me,” he tuts, spinning you around and locking you in front of him, not letting you budge even when you hit his chest playfully.

“y/n, you hadn’t had proper sleep the past few days. you promised you’d sleep as soon as christmas break rolls around,” he frowns, swaying you back and forth and he watches as the small movement is already driving you to sleep. yet, you keep your feet grounded, snaking your arms around his neck and pulling him down so you can kiss him. he’s a little surprised, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t enjoy it as he reciprocates the kiss, pressing his lips deeper against yours and relishes in the soft mewl he swallows from your lips.

before he can go any further, you push him back enough for you to have space to snatch your jacket, rushing out the door in a hurry; not bothering to check if fred is coming after you. but the rummaging from behind you, followed by loud thuds, already indicate fred is running.

“hey! at least change into your boots first! your feet are going to be ice before we even get there!”

“it’s not too late to back out now, y/n,” fred whispers into your ear as the whole lot of you make your way together. george and angelina were taking lead in the front, followed by katie, jordan and oliver in the middle and the pair of you were in the back. you squeeze fred’s hand in his pocket, hissing at him, “you can’t be serious! i got dressed for this!”

he presses a kiss to your temple, swinging your hand back and forth as much as he can despite being confined in his pocket, almost child-like it’s making you giggle, “and you look absolutely gorgeous! but you would also look much better if you had some sleep,”

“why do i feel like you don’t want me to have fun?” you pout at him, and he huffs, “hey, that’s not fair and you know it. you know how much fun we can have together,-”yep, no lie there. sometimes, you and fred alone caused more havoc than fred and his twin. that statement is a lot coming from most people-”-it’s just, you know, love. i’d want to have fun with you when i know you’re enjoying it too,”

“but it feels wrong to miss this,” you whisper this time, and fred leans down a little so you wouldn’t need to reach him with much effort, “we won’t see them in a bit and i promised i’d come. didn’t want to be a downer,”

“love,” he calls out, earning a huh as you look up to him. he sneaks in a kiss to your lips, grinning at how you blink at him profusely before you register what he had done the thing he’s done countless of times before, “you can never be a downer. have you seen yourself?”

your mouth opens to respond and you swear you see fred about to lean in to shut you up but-“oi! lovebirds! try to keep up, yeah?” george hollers as they’re a good distance away, seeing there’s already enough snow to cast between you and your friends. you yank your hand along with fred’s out of said boy’s jacket, pulling him to follow your lead, “coming!” you only laugh as you hear him yelp, trying to keep up at your sudden spurt of energy.

the place was already packed with people but it wasn’t a surprise to any of you. of course it would be, nearing a time like christmas and all friends would be on their different ways (except a couple), but the vast majority would be. so it wasn’t a surprise a lot of friend groups would try to sneak in one last meet up like the ones you had with your friends (and boyfriend, and boyfriend’s brother).

drinks were poured and downed, a couple of bites here and there but a shared feeling of comfort and belonging. secrets being exchanged, chatters of what happens within the castle, out of the castle - the works. it’s a cogwheel of how the group functions - all in good fun, mutual excitement and trust that what is said here would stay here.

it’s been a little over an hour and a half since the group started getting loose and shaking off the nerves of the semester ending, buzzing for the holiday soon arriving. fred would enjoy it without a thought as well but seeing how the light alcohol is getting the best of you, lulling a bit here and there in the midst of loud chatter, leaning against him for support, he decides to call it a night. especially when there’s a lack of response coming from you.

it captures the group’s attention as they watch how your cheek is pressed to fred’s arm, though, seeming like you’re trying your hardest. fred has puppy eyes as he stares at your sleeping figure against him and he can’t help but allow his heart to swell at the sight.

“i’m always fascinated by this,” katie snorts, earning a nod of approval from oliver, “i’d say. truly, the only person who can tame the wild fred weasley,”

fred exhales deeply and as he wiggles his brows to your group of friends, they already know what’s to come. “well, we’ll be taking our leave now,”

“just make sure you don’t lock me out,” angelina chastises, remembering the night fred did that by “accident” and she had to snooze off in the common room. “you’re welcome to join me, if he does!” george calls out, earning a fake look of disgust from angelina before she decides to laugh it off.

the short yet loud interaction between george and angelina jolts you awake with a yes?, snapping out of your slumber almost instantly. your lips quickly zip shut as you notice how all eyes are now on you, and fred is like your shield, willing to bat away any takers to tease you. before they can, however, fred is reminded of the many reasons why he loves you. a joke, is something you can take, never making it an awkward situation on anyone. (unless necessary)

“good morning, your highness,” george coos, and you grin sheepishly, rubbing the back of your neck, “good day, sire!”

“had a good rest?” katie chuckles, reaching out to playfully mess with your hair. you managed a small yawn, covering your mouth with your hand, shaking your head, “could’ve been better. this place is too loud for a nap,”

the group erupts with a small round of laughter before fred pulls you up with him, preparing yourselves to exit. it’s not after a quick moment for you to say goodbye to everyone and wish them a good break (including george, who he reminds you he’ll be with you during the break because you’re going to stay at his house, as a matter of fact his room too with freddie that it makes you blush before laughing it off). once that is done, fred quickly snatches you away and the pair of you make your way back to the dorms.

fred keeps your hand warm together with his in the pocket of his jacket, idly humming the walk back. it’s peaceful, being in fred’s presence and the way he checks on you every now and then to make sure you’re still walking, doing his best in creating conversations with you so it actively keeps you up. your heart feels all sorts of things, mainly love as you stare at fred’s side profile.

when he catches you staring, he can’t help but tease.

“enjoying the view there? might want to look where you’re going, love,” he says quietly, yet, seeing there’s no affect on you as he effectively dodges anything that’s coming your way, guiding you to a safe path. when he sees your eyes aren’t shifting from him, he’s full on laughing, enjoying the attention he’s receiving.

“hello? is my girlfriend still awake? may i ask the reason why she’s staring at me and not saying a word?”

“she’s... enjoying the view,” fred swears he feels his heart almost leaping out of his chest when he glances to see her smiling so wide, her eyes dissolve to mini crescents. he stops walking and it grants her to do the same. he grabs onto her shoulders and gives her a light shake, “woman, you can’t be this adorable even when you’re sleepy. choose one,”

this was a coded question for: “are we going to have fun tonight? or sleep?” (though, you know fred already knows the answer as they line the under of your eyes, another yawn escaping softly).

“sleep, please,”

“yes, ma’am.”

you think in your past life, you must’ve saved an entire kingdom to be with fred. (no doubt, he’d say the same thing about you, if not double up and say two kingdoms but these are your thoughts and he can’t possibly argue with you in your mind). still, you think it’s very much true when fred patiently undresses you and redresses you in your sleeping clothes - a loose sweater and joggers, followed by a t-shirt underneath because it gets a bit more chilly as the night transcends.

now bundled up in the covers, in his arms, his warmth, scent and his voice is the perfect recipe to lull you to sleep.

before you do, though, you’re staring at him and that’s when fred says: “you’ve done so well, y/n. get some sleep, hm?”

“this is so unfair,” you whisper under your breath, staring at the way he adores and is amused at the same time. he decides not to show it as much, only squeezing you around him as he stares down at you, allowing you to let your train of thought escape your mouth as you fall into deep slumber. “you can’t be that handsome, that clever and love me that much... you’re...” there’s a small yawn that captures fred’s heart even more “...absolutely... bonkers...”

fred only snorts quietly, watching as your eyelids flutter shut and you’re dozing off pretty quick from all the all-nighters and lost sleep due to papers and assignments. not only were you trying to be on top of your grades, he recollects how you’ve helped him as well, which he was very grateful for. his eyes remain on you as you get the rest you truly deserve, his hand coming up to brush your hair from your face and he stares at you lovingly.

you were unfair, too, he thinks. you, the person who accepted him fully for who he is and encourages him to chase for his dreams, willing to be by his side regardless of what happened. you, who was insanely patient with him, yet, took no bull and gave him the honest pill he needed from time to time. you, who came into his life like the light he’d been searching for in the dark, only to get blinded once he was within reach. when he was in your heart, however, his days have been warm ever since.

as you snuggle up against him, arms gingerly wrapped by his torso and resting your face to his chest, fred smiles at the thought he’s able to return the gesture you’ve done to him. his eyes close after a while, hoping to see you in his dreams as well.

as he's halfway drifting into sleep, he hears a soft murmur of freddie... that makes him smile, certain his smile would still be there when he wakes.

#fred weasley #fred weasley fanfics #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley fic #fred weasley imagines #harry potter fanfics #harry potter stories #harry potter scenarios #harry potter fred weasley #fluff #i know there's this thing where the stairs to the girls dorm are probably enchanted and boys can't go up #but i'm going based off that they can go to each other's dorms ;w;#aaaand that y/n and angelina share a dorm #and fred and george share a dorm hehe #OK THATS ALL GOOD NIGHT #:D

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willowandfog · 3 years

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TAKING FLIGHT

Complete

Summary: Kagome has been struggling with her disability most of her life but she's never felt anything but normal with Inuyasha always steadily by her side. But when her neurologist approaches her with the chance to recover full use of her leg, she takes it.

A childhood friends to lovers, soulmates AU

Read on AO3 or Below the Cut

Inuyasha was already awake and drinking a cup of strong black coffee when his father arrived. Touga chuckled at the sight of Kouga sleeping on the floor, curled into a ball with his tail wrapped around his waist. Miroku was still obviously unconscious on the couch, lying face down, with mouth open and drool slowly pooling below.

“You boys had a nice evening then I take it?” Touga asked him as he poured himself some coffee into a mug.

Inuyasha laughed slightly. “Sure. You could say that. We all got drunk, well Miroku got absolutely pissed, and then Kouga tried to fight me.”

Touga raised a brow at that. “For the fun of it or for a specific reason?”

“Cause he still wants Kagome. Told me that if he could beat me that he would be the one to marry Kagome today.”

“I take it that went...well? The furniture all seems to be intact.”

“Oh I was all for the fight, then I just said no and went to bed.” Inuyasha set his now empty mug in the sink before heading back to the living room. “I’m sober and my hangover is almost gone so I imagine Kouga is fine and just sleeping in, lazy bastard. Miroku will be feeling like crap if he’s even sober by now.”

Inuyasha knelt by the couch and gave Miroku a shake. “Miroku, buddy.” Inuyasha shook him again when there was no response. “Miroku, time to wake up.”

Miroku groaned, rolling onto his back “Go way.” He muttered.

“Well you can wake up now and have some coffee and we can hit a drive thru for some greasy food for you and you can still stand by me today as my best man or I’ll ask my dad to stand in your stead. Which would you prefer?”

Miroku’s eyes fluttered open. “There was no option in there for you to kill me so I’m on the fence.”

Inuyasha rolled his eyes, rising. “Kouga. Wake up, either come with us or go home. You’re not staying here.”

Kouga flipped Inuyasha the bird from his place on the floor, but still opened his eyes and ran a hand over his face. Groaning, he sat up. With a heavy sigh he stood before making his way towards the bathroom. “I’m coming, wouldn’t want to disappoint Kagome by not having her favorite youkai in attendance.”

Inuyasha let out a warning growl just before Kouga slammed the door closed.

“You guys aren’t friends right?” Touga questioned as he handed a fresh mug of coffee over to the now sitting Miroku.

“Nope, I put up with his existence because Kagome has a soft spot for sad lonely wolves.”

“I heard that!” Kouga yelled through the door just before the sound of the toilet flushing came through.

“Good.” Inuyasha called to him. “I’m gonna go grab some socks and mine and Kagome’s luggage. We can head out after Miroku finishes his coffee.”

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Inuyasha sat in the passenger seat, munching on a hashbrown as his father drove and Miroku and Kouga sat in the back, both chowing down on breakfast sandwiches from the drive thru.

“Did you have to go home first?” Inuyasha asked his father as he sipped coffee from his paper cup.

“No, we are stopping by the Higurashi’s; Kagome left her overnight bag there and your mother texted me and asked me to grab something she left there as well.”

Inuyasha nodded, looking out the window and watching the scenery pass by. He thought that he would be feeling nervous by now but found that he was more antsy and anticipatory for the whole event to begin.

When the car pulled into the short drive and came to a stop, both Inuyasha and Touga climbed out and made their way to the house. Inuyasha used his key to let them inside, he proceeded towards Kagome’s old room while his father went towards the kitchen. He immediately noticed Kagome’s bag, resting on the computer chair in front of the desk. He glanced around the room and peeked into the bathroom to make sure she hadn’t left anything else lying about. After snagging her hairbrush off the bathroom counter and tossing it into her bag, he noticed that one of his shirts was tucked underneath her favorite pajama bottoms.

Inuyasha pulled the shirt free, bringing it to his nose he inhaled deeply, the sweet scent of Kagome was strong on the fabric but there was a hint of his own as well. The combination of the two scents had Inuyasha’s youkai ‘purring’ as Kagome liked to put it. Upon the realization that she must have worn it to bed during their night apart, he clutched the shirt to his chest and bowed his head over it. While he wished that she didn’t have to deal with having such a hard time being apart, Inuyasha was slightly ashamed to admit that he was also glad that he wasn’t alone in the feelings. Bringing the shirt back to his nose he took one final whiff before tucking the shirt back into the bag and zipping it closed.

Bag slung over his shoulder, he met his father by the front door.

“Dad, can I ask you something?”

“You know you can.”

“How did you and mom do this? Stay a night apart, I mean. I feel it shouldn’t be this...difficult to sleep away from Kagome for one night. I mean, we are apart for a majority of the day during work.”

“Well, mainly, your mother and I were already bonded before we got married, so that helped. It still wasn’t easy, trying to sleep when your mate isn’t there is extremely challenging. Being full youkai, I don’t think I could’ve handled sleeping apart at your mother’s request if we hadn’t been bonded already. But you made it through and it should get easier here soon, just knowing your mate is in the same vicinity as you, surrounded by family. And just keep in mind that by this time tomorrow you will be a husband, mate, and soul bonded, and your mother and I couldn’t be more proud.” Touga clasped Inuyasha tightly on the shoulder, squeezing lightly in affection.

Inuyasha gave an almost shy smile. “Thanks dad.”

The pair shared a brief tight hug before heading out.

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Inuyasha finished buttoning up his dress shirt before reaching for the cufflinks that his father had worn on his wedding day. He turned as he slipped the first one into place, taking in the sight of Miroku sitting on the sofa in the ‘man cave’ as the venue called it. He was nursing another bottle of water, head resting on his open palm.

“So, care to tell me what all the excessive drinking was about last night?”

Miroku rotated his head slightly in the semblance of a head shake. “I… had a date with Sango last week and I fucked it up.”

“How did you manage to fuck it up, haven’t you two been going on dates for months? Haven’t you already had sex?”

“Yes. I did something really stupid, panicked and ran out of there; leaving her with the bill and all alone in the middle of the restaurant. And I haven’t responded to any of her calls or texts and I just don’t want to face her today.”

“What did you do?” Inuyasha chuckled, straightening his sleeves after pinning the second cufflink into place.

“Don’t want to talk about it.”

Inuyasha rolled his eyes. “I’m sure it’ll be ok, you guys have been doing this dance since junior year. Off and on, someone always says something to screw things up, you guys fight or don’t speak. Then one of you apologizes to the other, or you guys get drunk and make up.”

As Miroku opened his mouth to reply, the door to the room creaked open, and Izayoi’s bright smiling face appeared.

“How’s it coming in here, boys?”

“We’re great, mom. You can come in.”

She slipped into the room, letting the door snik shut behind her. Her eyes quickly took in the room, scanning everything before settling on Miroku.

Inuyasha looked over his mother as she studied Miroku for a moment. She wore a floor length midnight blue sheath dress that Inuyasha knew perfectly matched the markings that graced his father’s cheeks. The bodice had a layer of flowery lace in the same shade, cinched at the waist before flowing to the floor in a shimmer of satin.

“Miroku, dear. Would you mind helping Touga outside for a few minutes, please?”

Miroku’s brows met his hairline for a moment as he looked back and forth between Inuyasha and Izayoi.

“Ummm, yeah, sure.”

“Thank you, dear.” Izayoi gave him a sweet smile as she watched him go.

Inuyasha turned back to the floor length mirror, picking up his pale golden tie from the side table. Looping it around his neck, he watched his movements in the mirror as he began tying the Windsor knot. He was halfway finished when his large hands were cupped by smaller delicate ones.

Izayoi took the tie into her hands and resumed Inuyasha’s work as his hands dropped to his sides.

“Kagome looks lovely.”

Inuyasha gave her one of his rare genuine smiles. “She’s always lovely.”

“Transcendent then.” Izayoi stuck her tongue out at him before giggling and folding down his collar, adjusting his tie into place.

Izayoi stretched up to her toes and placed a kiss on his cheek. Dropping back onto her heels she made her way over and sat on the sofa Miroku had vacated. Waving him over she pointed to the floor in front of her.

“Sit.”

Inuyasha stopped in front of her. “Sit on the floor? But I’ll wrinkle my pants.”

She rolled her eyes and smiled. “They’ll be fine for a few minutes, sit please.”

He sat on the floor between her legs, crossing his legs and instantly relaxing. He had always found sitting on the ground, comforting.

Izayoi picked up the hairbrush that was resting on the side table and began to brush Inuyasha’s hair in gentle, slow strokes.

“I remember,” she said softly, “doing this when you were a little boy. You were always so excited for it. You’d come running to me with the brush and you would instantly climb into my lap when I would sit down. Oh, how it used to lull you to sleep, you would slowly start to slump over more and more until you fell asleep right there in my arms. I would just rock you in your sleep until your father came and scooped you up and carried you to bed.”

Inuyasha smiled fondly at the memory, eyes drifting closed as the sense of peace came over him. “You used to hum too.” He murmured.

She hummed her acknowledgement before beginning to hum a soft lullaby under her breath. When the song was finished she leaned forward and planted a kiss to the back of his head, setting the brush down on the cushion beside her.

“I love you, mom.”

She ran her fingers through his hair. “I love you too. You know, you have been and always will be my little boy; but you’ve belonged to Kagome just as long. Your father and I are so happy that this day is here and we are so proud of the man you’ve become. You’ve always done whatever you can to take care of and provide for Kagome, and those are amazing things to receive from a mate.” She kissed him again before rising.

Inuyasha stood and turned towards her, quickly moving to wipe her cheeks when he spotted the dampness there.

Izayoi smiled tenderly at him. “Today is a joyous day. One of the happiest days of my life was marrying your father, tied with the actual mating, and having you of course.” She lovingly stroked his cheek. “Now. Let’s get you in your jacket and outside.”

Inuyasha nodded slightly as he pulled her into his arms, tucking her under his chin and holding her tightly. He held her for several long moments before he released her.

“Ok. I’m ready, let’s do this.”

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Kagome had been pampered, massaged, prodded and poked all morning and she was ready to be done. While the beginnings of the day had felt great, she was ready for the hair pulling, fidgeting, pins poking her head, and the fussing to be over with. All she wanted was to walk down the aisle and tell Inuyasha how much he meant to her and then be whisked away as husband and wife and spend the night in his arms.

She missed him something fierce, and she felt like she was starting to itch under her skin. She couldn’t quite figure out if that was the bond making her extra antsy and on edge being away from him or if it was just in her head. She could only imagine how Inuyasha was feeling about the separation since he had always felt the effects of the bond much more strongly than she had.

“Your hair turned out so beautifully.” Her mother stood directly behind her, stroking a gentle hand across her shoulder.

Kagome noticed Sango, her friend since freshman year of college, and Ayame, her good friend she was a new start with at work, standing behind her mother in the mirror she was sitting in front of, both nodding their agreement. She hoped to introduce Ayame and Kouga later at the reception, she had a feeling that they would get along and she hoped that they would hit it off pretty well. She had always felt a little guilty that Kouga still carried a torch for her even after finding out that she was Inuyasha’s mate.

Turning her attention back to the mirror, she turned her head back and forth, taking in her seemingly simpler hairstyle that had cost more than she had been willing to pay. A relaxed french braid started at either temple, forming a crown of sorts around her head and met together in the back to form a low messy bun. Loose tendrils fell from her bun and more were deliberately left out framing her face with slightly wavy strands. A simple gold leaf and pearl hair vine comb was pinned up against the side of her bun. She really did love it but still felt that the style could’ve been achieved without paying the amount that they had but her mothers had insisted that a wedding day was a day to splurge for the finer things, like having someone else to do your hair and makeup. Kagome was happy to have talked them out of insisting that she hire a makeup artist as well, pleading with them that her friends had asked and wanted to participate by being the ones to do her makeup. They had done a great job, her skin looked smooth, and she was shining in all the right places, her eye makeup was noticeable with the winged eyeliner and the shimmering gold shadow but it was all light enough to still look closer to a natural style.

“Alright, let’s get you into your dress.” Izayoi came over carrying a shoe box that she set on the vanity.

Twenty minutes and eight overly helpful hands later, Kagome was finally tucked into her dress. Izayoi and Sango guided her over to her chair and helped her sit, rucking up her dress as her mother and Ayame knelt on the floor, each bearing a shoe.

“Guys.” Kagome protested. “I can put my own shoes on.”

“Don’t be silly, darling.” Izayoi spoke by her side. “It’s hard to reach your own feet in a wedding dress, besides we enjoy helping.”

Kagome held back any further comments as each of her feet were worked into her crochet lace pointy toed flats with a sheer organza lace up ribbon. Although she was able to walk without her crutch now and almost always had a smooth gait when she walked, she wasn’t able to get much practice in with heels and had decided that it would be safer to wear flat shoes. But that hadn’t stopped her from taking Sango and trying to find the prettiest flats she could, and she thought the ballerina lace up shoes were to die for. After they finished criss-crossing and wrapping the ribbon around her leg and tying it into a neat little bow at the back of her calf, both Ayame and her mother stood.

“There.” Her mother beamed. “Now, let me grab my phone before you get your first look in the mirror.”

All four of her helpers reached for their phones at once. There were no blinding flashes throughout the day so far, no intruding presence, the photographer they had hired had been snapping photos throughout the process, occasionally disappearing to where Kagome could only guess was the ‘man cave’ where the boys were getting ready. Even though the photographer, Lacy, Kagome thought her name was, had been amazingly silent and unobtrusive, everyone else was still insistent on taking photos on their phones.

Kagome had been avoiding her own phone for most of the day, fighting the urge to text Inuyasha. But she came to the conclusion that having some hand taken photos and selfies of her wedding day would be a nice addition as well. Rising, she made her way to the vanity, careful not to look into the mirror. Pulling her phone out of her bag, she opened up the camera and turned to snap a few photos of everyone else digging their phones out of their bags, except Sango who was explaining some app she had to Kagome’s mother.

“Ready? Will someone take some photos with my phone too?” Kagome unlocked her screen, her lip quivering slightly at the sight of Inuyasha’s grinning face gracing her wallpaper.

“Yeah I got it, Kagome.” Ayame said as she came up beside her and gently took the phone from her hands, patting her softly on the shoulder. “You’ll see him soon, he’s fine and you’re doing great.”

“Thanks.” Kagome murmured as she sniffled before turning away.

Shaking herself out of her momentary lapse she slowly made her way over to the floor length mirror in the corner. She gasped when she saw herself. She had loved the dress when she saw it in the catalog but she was amazed that it looked as great as it had before. Knowing she was being ridiculous since she had seen herself during her fitting, this felt different, more final.

The intricately embellished bold lace bust delicately embroidered with sequins had a deep v-shaped neckline showing off just the right amount of cleavage. The bust flowed into a voluminous silk chiffon circle skirt, ending as it graced the floor. Turning slightly she caught sight of the low open back that ended with a small silken bow. Smiling, she turned to face the mirror again, reaching up to finger the delicate hand-beaded shoulder detailing with strings of thin spider-silk-like beaded strands dangling off her shoulder in drooping half circles.

Kagome was vaguely aware of exclaimed praises and comments about capturing good photos but it was all background noise. She shook herself from her daze and turned back to face the group, the sooner she was done fawning over herself the sooner she could walk down the aisle. They snapped a few more photos before taking turns taking selfies with her then gathering for group photos. They asked the photographer to also take photos with all their phones of the small group of women.

Kagome’s mother pulled her aside and hugged her, stroking a tender hand across her shoulder.

“I wish your father was here to see how beautiful and happy you are. I know he’d be so proud of the woman you’ve become.”

Tears filled Kagome’s eyes, her gut clenching as it always did when she remembered the accident that took her father from her.

“Thanks mom, I love you.”

“I love you too, sweetheart.” She pulled her into another brief tight hug as Izayoi stepped up beside them.

“I’m going to go check on the boys and make sure Inuyasha is ready and get him out there. Take a few minutes to yourself, your mother and Sango will wait for you outside the door.”

Kagome nodded, giving her soon to be mother in law a hug. As the door closed behind the group Kagome let out a sigh of relief at finally being alone for the first time that day. She gathered up the couple items of hers that were strewn about the room and piled them into her bag; sneaking at glance at Inuyasha’s photo on her phone before tucking that too away and zipping the bag closed. Her mother had mentioned coming back to the room after the ceremony to grab her bag for her so Kagome wanted to make it as easy as possible on her.

Walking over to the vanity she sat, taking a few calming breaths. When she stood again she felt her weak leg give a little tremble. Sighing, she went back to her bag and extracted her brace. Sitting down she hastily pulled her skirt up and with difficulty managed to get her shoed foot through the brace and pulled up into place. After a stern glare at the brace, she stood, smoothing her skirt back into place. She gave one last glance into the floor length mirror before making her way to the door.

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Inuyasha escorted his mother down the aisle, a symbol to their guests that it was time to find their seats as the ceremony would be beginning shortly. Kagome and Inuyasha had opted to not have a long drawn out intro to the ceremony, not wanting to wait what would feel like forever as bridesmaids and groomsmen walked down the aisle. So Sango and Miroku were already in place at the end of the aisle, standing to either side, ready to support and be witness to the union of their friends. In truth, Inuyasha hadn’t wanted anything to draw attention away from Kagome being presented and walking down the aisle.

Inuyasha studied the trees that they had picked to get married under. They were beautiful, far reaching weeping willows, standing slightly apart. Leaving the perfect amount of space for the couple to stand together in front of everyone and declare their love for each other. Kagome and both of their mothers had come out the day before and helped the venue string up fairy lights all along the tree branches. Allowing some to hang down from the branches towards the ground. The effect was almost magical as the sun began to set and the light a little lower, drawing more attention to the lit tree.

As Inuyasha reached the end of the aisle with his mother he stopped. Izayoi withdrew her arm from his before stretching up and placing a kiss on his cheek. She gave him a tender smile before moving to take the empty seat beside his father.

Moving to take his place beside Miroku, Inuyasha clasped his hands tightly together in front of him. His nerves spiked as his senses were suddenly overwhelmed, finally feeling Kagome’s presence nearby again.

Oh, how he had missed it, the feel of her gentle, loving presence brushing up against his. Her smiling face, her love filled eyes as she looked at him with adoration. He was hard pressed to believe that they had only spent a night apart, it felt like it had been days, weeks, years even. His yearning for her had grown so strong that when she stepped out from the tent flap beside her mother all breath and coherent thought left him.

She was the most divine creature he had ever laid eyes on. He glanced over her. Yes, the dress was beautiful and her hair was nice but he was more interested in her face. The brightness in her face and the smile that showed her absolute happiness of the moment. It spread to him, her joy, and he felt it reach him deep down into his soul, soothing his youkai.

He noticed the tightening of her hand wrapped around her bouquet, the catch in her breath and the speed of her already rapidly beating heart kick up a notch when she glanced up and met his eye. Hers a warm chocolate from a distance but he knew them intimately. Knew that they held many shades, shades of whiskey and a crystallized honey. Eyes focus solely on him, the bright gleam in her eyes only for him. Eyes that saw everything of him, that pierced through any gruffiness he might have had at the world and saw straight through to him.

When Kagome and her mother reached him, he stepped forward, placing a kiss on her mother’s cheek before taking Kagome’s hand and leading her the rest of the way to the front. As they stopped in front of Totosai, his father’s long time friend, they turned to face each other. Kagome, still smiling and Inuyasha suspected that he had a goofy grin planted on his face.

Totosai spoke a few words of welcome to their guests, speaking the meaning of marriage and how happy he was that Kagome and Inuyasha were coming together; but Inuyasha didn’t hear the words, all his attention on Kagome. Inuyasha’s mind finally registered the words that were being spoken when Totosai spoke again.

“Kagome and Inuyasha have asked to incorporate a handfasting into their ceremony. And have asked that Inuyasha’s father, Touga, step forward and honor them in officiating the ritual.”

Inuyasha’s attention was drawn away from Kagome for the first time since she had appeared from underneath the tent to walk down the aisle. He glanced over at his father, who was rising from his seat amongst the front row, surprise clearly written on his face as he straightened his coat. Kagome and himself had decided not to mention including the handfasting into their ceremony to anyone other than Totosai, wanting it to be a surprise and a gift for his father.

Handfasting was an old tradition, something developed not from their heritage but was adopted early on in youkai society as an additional symbol of a soul bonded match. It was considered a great honor among youkai to be chosen by a bonded couple to perform the ritual.

As Touga walked around the couple, Totosai pulled him aside. They talked in hushed murmurs for a few moments before separating and Totosai stepped off to the side, standing near Miroku, with a smile on his face. Touga took his place behind the couple, facing them and the gathering, holding three satin cords in one clawed hand.

Though he had to clear his throat before beginning, Touga spoke loudly and clearly. “Though not originating from the youkai, handfasting was quickly developed into mating and marriage ceremonies as a perfect outward display of a soul bond. It is considered extremely fortuitous and rare to find your soulmate as well as a blessing to witness the joining. I am beyond honored to stand before you all as I guide my son and my new daughter into their union.”

Turning his attention back to the couple, Touga spoke to them. “If you would join right hands, please.”

Kagome turned, handing off her bouquet to Sango before turning back to Inuyasha and offering up her right hand. Inuyasha gently clasped it with his own, his eyes roving her face, taking in every detail.

“With full awareness, know that before this gathering of witnesses you are not only declaring your intent to be bound before your friends and family, but also by joining hands you are representing your willingness in the union, if one of you is unwilling to be bound to the other, please now lower your hand.”

Inuyasha and Kagome both held on tighter, staring into each other’s eyes as they spoke together. “We are both aware and willing.”

Inuyasha turned his attention to their clasped hands as Touga laid one of the satin cords, in a vibrant shade of forest green, across Inuyasha’s wrist. “This cord represents Kagome’s commitment and acceptance of Inuyasha in the union. Kagome, would you like to say a few words to Inuyasha?”

Kagome glanced at Touga, nodding slightly before turning and looking into the pools of melted honey that were Inuyasha’s eyes. “Inuyasha, we’ve been best friends for twenty-one years and you’ve been the love of my life for a dozen of those. That night when we were eight and you convinced me to sneak out of my house to watch the meteor storm with you, we both made a wish. And I think it’s finally time to share my wish with you; I wished for us to be able to stay together forever. My wish is coming true and that makes me the happiest-” The emotions clogged her throat and she covered her mouth with her free hand for a moment as she took a ragged breath. When Inuyasha squeezed her hand in support and encouragement she cleared her throat and looked back up to him with tear filled eyes. “The happiest person in the world. Inuyasha, I promise to always love and respect you. To support you and cherish you. And I promise to try to be everything to you that you have always been to me.”

Kagome looked to the side as Sango stepped up beside her, offering up Inuyasha’s ring on the palm of her hand. It hadn’t been hard to figure out a way to mix the traditional handfasting with the modern wedding ceremony. Taking the ring in her left hand, she turned back to Inuyasha as he offered his left to her underneath their clasped hands. As she slid the cool platinum band onto his finger he kept his gaze on her face, and when her watery eyes flicked back up and meet his, he mouthed ‘I love you,’ and she beamed, the motion spilling her tears out of the corners of her eyes to track down her cheeks.

Touga laid the crimson satin cord across Kagome’s wrist. “This cord represents Inuyasha’s commitment and acceptance of Kagome in the union. Inuyasha, a few words?”

Inuyasha took in a deep breath, he had written vows but they seemed a cheap imitation to what he knew his heart wanted to say. The breath he had been holding came out shakily as he slowly released it. He had so much he wanted to say and he was afraid he’d say it wrong. She had said such wonderful things that caused a warmth to bloom in his chest and he was the one that always fumbled for the right thing to say when it mattered most.

But he knew. He knew.

That no matter what he said in this moment, Kagome would know. She would know what he was trying to say, what he wanted to convey, what was in his heart. She always knew, she always understood, she knew him better than he knew himself.

“Kagome, you have been my entire focus and ever present constant since I looked out the window twenty years ago and saw a little girl fierce in her determination to make it from the car to the house on her own. I think even then I knew, I sensed something within me reaching out to you, urging me to befriend you, protect you, love you. I’m happy with the man I’ve become and that’s all because of you; because of your gentle hand and your guiding words. The strength and kindness of your heart never ceases to amaze me. I strive to be as good to you as you have always been to me. I promise to be your guiding light in the darkness, a warming comfort in the cold, and a shoulder to lean on when life is too much to bare on your own.”

Inuyasha looked down as a hand appeared at his side, Kagome’s delicate rose gold band lay on Miroku’s open hand. Inuyasha plucked the ring off his friend’s palm, mindful of his claws. When he turned back to Kagome she had more tears on her cheeks but her smile was dazzling, warm, accepting, and happy. Her offered left hand was already waiting for him, as he slid the ring onto her finger, he felt the youkai within him sturing. The need to throw her over his shoulder and carry her away from prying eyes and finally claim her as his mate washed through him with such force that he had a hard time resisting. But when his father began speaking again, he tried to tamp down even harder on the urge, knowing that later that night, Kagome would be his in every way possible.

“This cord represents their union, the joining of not only Inuyasha and Kagome but of each side’s family coming together.” Touga draped the gold cord across the top of their joined hands before moving both the other cords up to rest alongside it. “Today on your wedding day, as you promise to love each other forever, you are holding the hand of your best friend. These are the hands that will work alongside yours as together you built your future.”

He spoke as he held one side of the strands steady in one hand and began to wrap the other side around it. “These are the hands that will love you and cherish you through the years. These are the hands that will celebrate with you when you feel happy and comfort you when you feel sad.” He tucked one side under the other, pulling to form the knot on top of their clasped hands. One end of the cords dangling down on each side of their hands. “These are the hands that will give you strength and support whenever you need it. As your hands are joined together now, so your hearts will always be.”

Inuyasha and Kagome each took hold of one of the ends of cords, making sure to maintain eye contact. Slowly, they slid their clasped hands along each other’s as they separated them, pulling on the cord ends at the same time. When their hands fell free, the cords came together, forming a tight infinity knot.

Totosai stepped up beside Touga. “By the authority vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife.”

Using the cord as leverage, Inuyasha wasted no time in yanking it, pulling Kagome towards him, wrapping his free arm around her waist and crushing her to him. Still maintaining his hold on their cord he pressed his lips to hers. He’d kissed her countless times before, but the tingle of blissful tranquility that flowed through him felt new in a way he could not describe. He moaned slightly at the feeling, deepening the kiss. Stroking his tongue across her lower lip before dipping it inside her parted lips.

Only when he let out a low possessive growl did he remember the crowd; pulling away just enough so their lips were still touching.

“I love you.” He whispered against her lips.

“I love you, too.”

It was only then that he heard the crowd, they were all cheering and clapping, some rising from their seats. Inuyasha took Kagome’s end of the cords from her, turning and handing the knot over to his father.

“Guard this for us till later?”

Touga nodded, accepting the duty.

With a large grin Inuyasha tucked Kagome’s arm in the crook of his elbow, beginning to lead her away from their position at the front and down the aisle. His eyes were fixed on his luminous mate even as she watched the crowd, a shy but ecstatic smile on her face. There were a few clicks and flashes of cameras going off but Inuyasha’s attention never wavered. Flower petals rained down upon them, creating a lovely effect but other than causing Inuyasha to blink more often as sone petals hit his face, he never looked away.

When they reached the end of the aisle, he scooped Kagome up into his arms and quickly dashed off, looking for a place where they could extract a couple of quiet moments to themselves and bask in the joy they were feeling.

@ruddcatha @superpixie42 @lavendertwilight89 @clearwillow @dawnrider @mamabearcat @fawn-eyed-girl @smmahamazing @bluejay785 @i-dream-of-soup @liz8080 @zelink-inukag @malditamigs @shinidamachu

#inukag #inuyasha x kagome #inuyasha fanfiction #inuyasha fanfic #inukagfluffweek2021 #inukagfluffweek day 7 #family

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blackicephantom · 3 years

Text

The black dragon and the coward CH. 13

Here is the next chapter!

Even if it feels like nobody's reading this anymore...... well, what ever.

Enjoy!

Tagged: @patolemus , @runestarchild

- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - .- . - . -

The storm blew over and Tsuna was exhausted.

It’s been a damn long day and he was still injured, time to rest up. Reborn, who apparently read his thoughts, picked him up as easy as it gets and just said “Time for bed.” He didn’t even notice when the dragon changed forms again….. Definitely time to sleep.

Once again cradled in these strong and safe arms he let his mind slip away. To the forgotten days, the happy times. When Reborn put him down on the bed he was already fast asleep.

. - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -

Reborn was…...excited. There was a certain thrill and tension that he couldn’t shake. He wanted to hunt, to hurt, to burn. He wanted to finally act on his instincts but he knew that he had to wait, just this little bit longer! His tail thrashed form side to side and there was a constant low rumbling coming from his throat. If he was someone else he would be embarrassed but as things were standing no one would say anything.

A small giggle brought him out of his reverie and he looked over to the small brunette in his bed. Tsuna had a serious case of bedhead and had this little sleepy smile. He looked so relaxed and, dare he say it, beautiful. This right here, is how it should have been from the beginning. “Finally awake sleepyhead?” was the first thing he asked. Still smiling, the boy sat up and stretched his arms over his head. Then he stood up and cracked his back and neck. With each crack and pop another satisfied sigh left the boy's lips. Yes, this is perfection incarnate. A powerful and capable sky, right here beside him and just waiting for the rest of their strange family. Another content purr echoed through his den which made Tsuna laugh again.

After a simple but filling breakfast they started their preparations. There were dragons to welcome after all. The young heir tried to remember what he could and told Reborn about it. He in return confirmed or denied his facts, which helped him a great deal to sort his thoughts. That’s the moment when another thought occurred to him. What happened to Aria? He thought long about it. Should he ask his draconian companion? Did she make it? Or was there another grave somewhere? `Don’t think such depressing thoughts Tsuna!´. Realizing that there’s only one way to find out, he went looking for the black Dragon.

Said dragon sat waiting patiently, like he had anticipated Tsuna's arrival. “I know you Dame-Tsuna. You’ve still got something to ask.” was the answer to his unasked question. His smirk was visible even in his dragon form, impossible as it should be. Shaking his head and laughing the brunette settled down right in front of the other and looked him in his yellow eyes. “You’re right, there’s still something I would like to know. But I don’t really know if I want to hear the answer.” Humming softly, Reborn lowered his head to the ground and made himself comfortable. “Have you forgotten what Luce always told you? When there’s something you want to know-” he started. “- then don’t hesitate to ask. A simple question costs nothing but a bit of courage.” Tsuna finished. Visibly proud the reptile looked up to the sky and asked again. “So, what is it? Spill.” A few minutes there was nothing but the sounds around them, before he found his voice. “It’s just….. I mean I’ve been wondering…. Oh damn it! I wanted to ask about Aria!” The last sentence was almost a shout and Rebon wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry. Aria was another rather sore spot but just like the rest, Tsuna deserved to know. With a sigh the dragon started his little story.

After the departure of his brothers Reborn was all alone with his memories. His memories and with Aria. He’s not stupid, he knows that she coulnd’t stay here with him. But where could he send her? Was there even a safe place for her? Watching the sleeping fledgling his heart broke again, as she grieved even when deeply asleep. With every new tear his resolve strengthened. This place can never again be home for her. Not this godforsaken place where her mother was ruthlessly murdered right in front of her. Not the place where her little brother was taken from her, while she was unable to do anything.

He thought. He thought long and hard, for days on end. But no solution would come to him. Until Aria herself contributed something. It’s been just a few weeks but she’s almost all grown up. This is the curse that all Skydragons share: a short childhood, followed by a just as short life. Sure, they still lived longer than humans but from a dragon's perspective their life was fleeting. “I know that you want to protect me. And I am thankful for all that you’ve done until now. But I don’t want to burden you further than this.” He waited in tense anticipation. It was clear that she was Luce’s child. Always prepared….

She continued with a small and sad smile. “I will go on a journey. I will visit many places and meet many people. Until someone catches my eye and I settle down.” Yellow eyes widened. This…...this was way too specific for some random plan! There was only one explanation: A Vision. Aria has her mothers gift. “I hope that you will take just as good care of my daughter when the time comes, because she is going to be an orphan way too early. But don’t worry, she won’t see a single thing.” Reborn couldn't respond to the sheer mass of information he was given. Aria has seen her whole life. Probably from the day after tomorrow until the day she dies. It’s just as fascinating as it’s sad….

But she seemed to understand this, for she said nothing about it. Not even when a few stubborn tears rolled down the usually stone cold face. “Please take care. If the day comes, visit her. She will be in the care of the Millefiore family and will also inherit our gift.” Now he was outright sobbing. He wanted to clutch her tight and never let go, but he knew better by now. He knew that when he woke up tomorrow she would be gone. So he pulled her closer and embraced her one last time, already mourning his second sky. She returned his hug just as tightly and shed quite a few tears herself. This man was like a father after all. Just like all the others that will never know of this. As they slowly pulled away from each other she said one last thing that would change everything for him. “And please do me a favour. Greet Tsunayoshi in my name when he returns, ok? And pamper him, because it won’t be easy for him. Be patient. You will forget, but you will also remember.”

The next morning was dark and gray and he stood alone in the pouring rain.

On that day he started to kill every human that ventured to far into the forest, too far into his territory. That was the day the legend of the Midnightblack Sundragon was born.

“It happened just like she said. She found a nice man and gave birth to Yuni. A raid on their village took first her husband and then herself, Yuni was away with some servants. Ever since that day she’s been with the Millefiore family. And there’s of course the part with the forgetting. I have absolutely no idea how or why this happened but I know that whatever it was, was lifted on the day I brought you back to this damned village.”

The young sky needed time to work through all this information. First of all: his fear came true. There WAS another grave for him to visit. His sister, gone, just like their mother but her daughter still safe and sound. Second: the reason Reborn and he couldn’t remember each other was because of an outside interference. And the third: clairvoyance is as handy as it is scary. His respect for Luce and Aria just went through the roof. Not to forget the poor Yuni…..who knows what she has already seen? `So many things to consider. And no time to dwell.´ Shaking his head Tsuna looked up at his friend. Reborn’s head was turned away from him, but he could still feel the tension, so he reached out and gently petted the dark scales. The reaction was instantaneous, Reborn relaxing and putting his head on the brunette's lap.

In this moment of peace he thought about the other Arcobaleno. Have they changed? Were they lonely during all these years? But most importantly: were they all ok?

Instead of all these things he asked something completely different.

“Ne ne, Reborn. Who do you think will arrive first?” Said dragon just blinked for a moment before snorting and then outright laughing. There’s no reason to be surprised, Tsuna was also Luce’s kid after all. Trying and failing to stop laughing for several minutes the mythical creature stood up again and looked up. “What a stupid question. Since the closest thing to the sky, the sun, is already here, there's just one possibility. There’s just one single person that could arrive here first. A drifting cloud, never to be bound.” Just as he finished his sentence a loud chirping and the rustling of feathers could be heard. Both sounds grew louder and closer and Tsuna couldn’t wait. The drifting cloud was none other than Skull! Beating wings came into view, followed by the dark purple body and the swishing tail. Another chirp sounded and this time Reborn answered with his own call. Their eyes met even over this distance and the Clouddragon started his neck breaking decent.

Feet touched the ground and carved their way thru the soil until he stood still right before the boy he had missed dearly, right beside the brother that called them back. Still not quite believing his eyes he hesitated. What if this was nothing but a cruel, cruel dream? But then Reborn stood up and came impossibly closer, only to nudge him with his maw and nipping playfully on his beak. `Not a dream then.´ The next thing he knew he laid a few meters away on the ground, apparently the black of the other whipped him away. Literally. But… the sting was shockingly pleasant, so he just got up again, shook out his scales and bound over again. First he tackled his fellow dragon down and cuddled with him. But even if the Sundragon complained, he didn't throw him off. Next thing he did was transform and then kneel before the poor boy, almost as if was worshipping him. Instead of praise tho, only apologies left his mouth and that just wouldn't do. Careful hand reached out and took hold of his now wet cheeks. Slowly raising his head he was met with the gentle brown they had tried to protect. One hand carted through his violet hair and soothed him, gave him comfort he hasn’t had since he was captured. “It’s ok Skull.” Completely overwhelmed, he flung himself in Tsuna’s arms and was glad to be caught.

An hour, maybe even two went by before the next dragon came home.

None of them looked up, the wind telling them who had arrived the moment their master was close enough. Red scales shone brightly and the young Vongola just stepped forward with outstretched arms. Shortly after that he was rewarded with the big and fluffy head of the Stormdragon. He pet the white mane and put their foreheads together as a symbol of familiarity. The following grumbling was as sweet as it was calming and gave him the opportunity to ignore the other two in the background where Reborn just sat atop of Skull, not caring if the other had enough air to breath. But he still heard the quiet “The furios storm that never rests.” and couldn't be happier.

Just then the ground started to shake and tremble, until a rather large hole had opened up right where they stood. The first one to emerge was the bulky form of the Lightningdragon, who immediately stomped over to him, while the indigo coloured snake made its way over to the other dragons….. Only to start choking Skull. Already tired of this Fon also made his way over, at least to make sure that they wouldn’t kill the third one. Tsuna just watched for a short moment, when a long maw nudged him in the stomach and a small and harmless lightning bolt rushed across his arm. Giggling he scratched the crocodile look alike right between the eyes and earned a thumping foot. When Verde had enough he switched places with Viper, only without the choking part…. The closer Viper came, the smaller he got and when he was at the boys feet he just waited till he was offered an arm. Slowly crawling up the limp he made his home right around Tsuna's neck, like a living and breathing and very venomous necklace. “Welcome home our dear protective lightning rod and bewildering Mistdragon.”

. - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -

The day was almost over and one Arcobaleno was still missing. “What the fuck is Colonello doing out there? Picnicking?” While Skull laughed at that Verde looked rather thoughtful. “He is still bound to the waters if he wants to travel efficiently. But the nearest ocean is a few miles behind that accursed village.” With that he caught everyone's attention, because he was right. “Do you think something happened to him?” asked Tsuna worried. The green haired man looked away before shrugging. “It is a possibility.” Just as Tsuna wanted to say something else, Reborn was beside him and shielded him with one of his wings. That's the only heads up they got as a torrent of rain came over them. If Reborn hadn’t reacted, Tsuna would be soaked to the bone. But everyone wasn’t so lucky. Just watching the still draconian fish roll around laughing made the boy shake his head. `He deserves what's coming for him.´ Melodious giggles promptly cut off as electricity crackled through the air and Verde changed between one flash and another. “RUN.” Colonello didn’t need to be told twice. Because his fins were practically useless on land he changed as well and booked it out of the cave they had waited in. Verde gave him three seconds of a head start and then set off after him.

All of the others just listened as the newcomer tried to calm the raging crocodile but he had no such luck. Reborn smirked, Fon just drank his tea, Skull laughed like there was no tomorrow and Viper just shook his head in exasperation. “Those two are just as bad as you and Skull, Reborn.” Said dragon just shrugged with his shoulders and answered “I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about.”

A loud scream tore through the night, right before a bright green flash could be seen…… No one moved but as a rather satisfied Lightningdragon returned it was clear what happened out there. “Uhm………” Sighing the black Sundragon took it upon himself to go look for the blonde. Grabbing a big glass of water from the table he went outside. Tsuna wasn’t sure if it was good or bad that he heard nothing yet. But when both dragons returned he was relieved. Colonello had a few burnes, electricity still crawling along his skin and hair standing on end but looked better than expected. `The rain that washes away the blood has also returned.´ The Arcobaleno were together again.

Looking around this strange and chaotic group of people he has the honor to call family, Tsuna couldn't help his tears. This is what he wanted, what he had missed after returning `home´. This is what no one at the village would or could give him. Not even his own parents.

Several arms engulfed his small frame and held him close, while six different tones hummed Luce's lullaby for him. He grabbed onto the closest person, this being Fon this time and just enjoyed the closeness and the warmth. Yes, this is HOME. This and nowhere else.

That night, the only Vongola heir slept surrounded by six lethal dragons. Creatures said to kill in cold blood and are able to hold quite a grudge. But Tsuna never felt saver.

Tomorrow, he would visit Yuni with Reborn. Tomorrow, they will plan what to do with the village that had failed to raise him and to keep him. Tomorrow…... he just couldn’t wait.

_TBC_

#khr #reborn x tsuna #r27 #dragon and coward #fanfic

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haikyuuscreaming · 4 years

Text

𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐊𝐘𝐔𝐔!! 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐒 𝐀𝐒 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 (𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐁)

♧ a KARASUNO x READER ♧ collab with @skyguy-peach ! ♧ NOTES: alex is one of my good friends and she helped me a lot with these so now it’s a collab! ummm these arent rly x readers but they r cute so shut up <3 we gonna be doing these for the main teams, and i hope you enjoy bc this was so fun to write with her :) ♧ [ next ]

𝐬𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐦𝐮𝐫𝐚 𝐝𝐚𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐢:

the cracked leather seats of family restaurants, always getting warm after just minutes and you can’t seem to get out of your seat, skin sticking slightly to the seat

warm weather outside, when the humidity of summer starts to show but the crisp spring air is still there

messing around with people who feel just like family: you run around and make a mess, and they just sigh and smile with you

sitting in the kitchen, tracing patterns on the dining table while your mom cooks you another homemade meal

𝐬𝐮𝐠𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐚 𝐤𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢:

feeding squirrels at the park and laughing as you run as fast as you can when they lunge, barely managing to outrun them

the smell of your favorite shampoo in the shower and ratty towels you’ve kept for too long

a sweater with holes peppered in it but you keep it in your closet anyway, just to think about what that sweater has been through with you in life, you don’t think you’ll ever get rid of it

walking behind two people on the narrow, cramped sidewalk, but they always turn around and talk to you and you feel at home still

𝐚𝐳𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐞 𝐚𝐬𝐚𝐡𝐢:

group projects where you think you’re going to end up doing all the work, but one of the strangers in the group shares the load with you and somehow you two can’t stop texting each other afterwards

stepping on your pet’s tail and apologizing profusely, talking to it like you would with a baby

ritualistic things you do out of habit before exams or games, just so you can feel routine

your grandmother’s house, with the expensive china that seems to chip when you look at it and those couch pillows that make you feel safe with just the smell of them

𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐤𝐚 𝐫𝐲𝐮𝐮𝐧𝐨𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐞:

studying at a library but laughing too hard at a joke someone sent to the group chat

flirting that never seems to go right, but just the quirky charm of it alone earns you a little bit of luck: just enough luck to get by

homework done at 11 pm the night before it’s due, and you knew certainly well you had a week to do it but you’re angry still at the teacher

the squeak of tennis shoes against the gym floor as you race your friends out to stop by the convenience store

𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐲𝐚 𝐲𝐮𝐮:

fireworks that almost shake the house from outside when it’s midnight as you peer out the window of your room just to watch, and your heart races for no reason

tacky graphic t-shirts that everyone made fun of in primary school, but you managed to pull them off years later

competitive rock paper scissors with your friend across the classroom, and you get through 8 rounds before the teacher notices your fidgeting

axe body spray in the gym locker room, overpowering and heavy, nostalgia tugging at your heart

𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐚 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐲𝐨𝐮:

a brand new bouncy ball on the playground, the ones that rocket onto the classroom roof after you hit it too hard during handball

waiting in line at the rollercoaster, eating too much cotton candy, and you end up throwing up on the ride

biking to school as fast as you can before you accidentally crash into a tree, but somehow you’re not scratched up

a great comeback to the insult you got last week coming back to you in the shower

𝐤𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐲𝐚𝐦𝐚 𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐢𝐨:

going to bed at 8:30 pm at the latest, and the next day you do your homework the class before it’s due

dollar store ballpoint pens; the generic ones with blue ink that you use to draw on your arm during math class, the kind that you’ll lose easily but find under your couch a month later

backpacks with minimal things inside, but it’s somehow a mess when you’re trying to find your papers

the little bits of tangerine that get stuck under your fingernails after you peel them and your hands smell like citrus after

𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐚 𝐤𝐞𝐢:

plastic toys and worn-out books you played with as a child that sit on the shelf above your desk, as you secretly reminisce about the past

sore eyes after laying on your bed for hours and alternating between your phone and your laptop, the feeling of your laptop overheating on your lap and the glare of the green and blue screen

crushed ice that you eat in spite of all the dentist tiktoks that tell you eating ice is bad for you because it’s not technically chewing ice cubes, right?

a cheap pen that a friend gave you that explodes on your desk, and it’s so messy and it’ll definitely leave a stain on your desk but you laugh because you were betting on it giving out all-day

𝐲𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐢 𝐭𝐚𝐝𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢:

soft serve vanilla ice cream you got from the McDonald’s drive-thru on the day their machine wasn’t broken, paired with dollar-cheap soggy french fries

autumn sunsets with cool breezes you can barely feel, and you make it a game to step on the brittle and crunchy auburn leaves

visiting your old elementary playground after school, and they’ve renovated a few of the structures but the metal still makes your hands smell like iron and your favorite trees are still there so for a second you almost feel like time hasn’t passed

the smell of vanilla bean-and-honey candles as you sit on the floor of your bedroom, staying up for hours to talk to your favorite internet friend that you don’t quite remember how you met but you’re grateful anyway

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honeydots · 4 years

Note

127 with shuake would be good.

"My hands are not clean, and maybe they never will be, but they can still carry you home when you're ready to sleep."

once again. didnt forget abt these. im working thru em.

Summary: Goro wakes up one day in a hospital bed with only a bullet wound to keep him company, and not a single memory of who he used to be.

(ao3 link)

He was almost certain the last few weeks had been a dream.

Or maybe, several long and white coated dreams. The kinds with bright lights at an arm's length, and ill-fitting clothes, and men coming in waves carrying their clipboards as flags. With deep voices all at once whispering, echoing, “what is your name?”

Maybe he was in a hospital.

His first day of full consciousness was slow and lonely. His second day too, time spent wiggling his toes and counting ceiling spots. Day three he asked for a glass of water and scared a nurse out of her skin, and his week was kickstarted. Which only really meant an actual doctor came in and declared retrograde amnesia the only explanation for his condition.

His “condition” was quite the word to use. Which condition? They could play bingo. Was it his memory loss (obvious, weak narrative), or could it have been the state of comatose he’d been in (intriguing), or even the bullet wound (now here was a mystery, what a plotline) he’d heard remarkably little about? Amnesia, the fickle bastard, was the type to bring one answer to dinner, and disappear by morning.

But what did he know?

Well, he knew that this was a pretty shitty hospital. As far as how he assumed they should be managed, this one was on a low tier. And according to the nurse, as was their police station. Incompetent, and uncaring of his case, which had apparently been made.

It’d been a week now. He could get up. Limited, with his IV, but he could. The nurse said later that maybe the police would listen to him now, since he was conscious, basically up and kicking. ‘Listen to him now,’ was also an interesting phrase, because he hadn’t been speaking in the first place.

He wasn’t injured. His vitals were fine, the nurses had told him, and commented he was taking up an unnecessary bed. Not that he could actually make any kind of sound argument, which was frustrating enough on its own, but this didn’t seem like proper procedure.

He was, once again, very alone in his room. He thought about going to the police station. Incompetent as they may be, there would be no answers here. There was no one here to help him; some healthy boy in a hospital bed.

He got up. His IV was stuck in poorly, the tape just barely holding on. They’d disconnected him from all sorts of machines. Nothing was roping him down except for saline solution and his own two feet.

And, he was already standing.

It wasn’t hard to pull out.

His hospital gown was tied all the way down, falling just past his knees. He had odd socks on, their texture was weird, and they were several sizes too big. They were thick and patterned, maybe slip proof? But shoeless as he was, they would do.

The hallway was very empty. He was on the ground floor, but he wasn’t sure there were other stories. Maybe one, or a basement. It didn’t matter much. There just wasn’t anyone around. His concern was in that he didn’t know how long their absence would last.

There was a glass door at the end of the hallway.

To the police he’d go. A medical bill dodging amnesiac would probably get him some attention. Enough to get a name?

The door was not locked. That was probably good, for a hospital, and not a security breach, which is where his mind had initially gone.

Doors are meant to be opened, he thought. There really isn’t anything wrong with that.

It was just a little bright outside. The sun was up but not too far. He was in the parking lot, and it was almost entirely devoid of cars. Small, small hospital.

He didn’t exactly have a map, and no nurse was around to give him any condescending directions. He’d might as well go forward, then. He started walking, and thought to himself how odd his feet felt on the concrete.

No one was out. He hesitated to call it deserted, just maybe a bit early. He kept walking, nerves high, still worried he might get mauled by a stray doctor.

It seemed like this was a very small town, going by his surroundings. Lots of trees, and cracked roads, and old buildings. He didn’t think much of taking it all in. He’d have time for sightseeing when he remembered his initials.

A bit farther ahead was a woman, leaning on a car parked on the side of the road. She was glaring down at her phone. She looked— maybe irritated? Or tired. He wondered if he could ask her for directions. An aimless stroll through town wouldn’t take him to where he was going, after all.

“Excuse me,” he called, “Ma’am? Do you know the way to the police station?” He approached her with just enough caution to call it looking out for himself, ignoring the sorry state he was already in.

She glanced up from her phone. Her hair was short, and dark, and it bobbed around her face. She registered him for a moment, and her eyes went big.

“Holy shit.”

He knew enough to know that wasn’t the answer he was looking for. “I need to go to the police, please.”

The woman kept staring at him. “You—” she stuttered, “are you Goro Akechi? You are, aren’t you?”

This encounter was already going awry. Did she know him? “Do you know me?”

“Uh…I mean, no, we’ve never met.” She pushed herself off her car, and slowly put her phone back into her pocket.

That wasn’t really what he meant. He needed to persist, here. This could be a lucky hit. “No I— Do you know who I am?”

Blatant confusion spread across her face. “Uh… Are you not Goro Akechi?”

“I don’t know,” he answered.

She stared at him again, almost suspicious. Then she looked him up and down.

“Are you… coming from the hospital?”

“Yes.” He watched her mouth open just a bit in disbelief. He wondered how this woman knew him. If explaining would get more information out of her, then he’d do it. Privacy only existed when you had something to protect, after all. “I’ve been given an amnesiac diagnosis, you see. I’m going to the police station to see if I can find any sort of lead on myself.”

She looked shocked. “Amnesia? And you’re going to the cops?” She blinked, and suddenly looked very serious. She grabbed one of his shoulders. “Wait. That’s bad news. Don’t go to the police.”

He (Goro?) hadn’t expected to hear that.“What? And why shouldn’t I?”

“You… holy shit, kid, do you actually have amnesia?” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “Listen you need to— oh good god, this is gonna sound like I’m trying to kidnap you— I definitely know who you are. I can tell you but we shouldn’t… here. If someone finds you… ” She exhaled hard, and looked him dead on. It made Goro freeze. “Fuck, okay. The gist of it is— you’re in more danger than you realize. Like, a lot more. Will you come talk with me in my car?”

Alright. So, a lot to process, and a lot he didn’t know how to. He didn’t even know if he should process it, or if that was the kind of story that should be immediately disregarded. Someone telling you to not go to the police and please get in their car seemed like a textbook stranger-danger red flag. There had been something uneasy about her tone, though. Like genuine concern— not that such a thing couldn’t be perfected and acted, however.

But she’d given him a name. And it felt almost tangible, the more he thought about it. Less bendable and more sturdy. It was very easy to attach to himself. And it was a lead, wasn’t it?

“Hey, did you get discharged, or are you just wandering around? Cause they’re gonna be looking for you if they didn’t let you out,” said the woman, jump starting Goro (almost certainly, Goro) out of his head. “And kid, I cannot just let you turn yourself in to the cops.”

‘Turn myself in,’ he thought to himself. Such particular wording. It made his stomach drop. This woman knew more than him, clearly. And really, for fucks sake, if he died, he died. Obviously he hadn’t left enough of a mark on anyone to warrant not a single visitor during a five year coma. According to the nurses, it was more evident that he’d simply been dumped in town— like someone had already been trying to get rid of him.

Well, whoever they were, they’d forgotten to bury his bones.

He straightened himself up. “Okay.”

She looked surprised, at first. She swallowed around it. “...Yep, okay then. Hop in before you change your mind.” She popped open her car door, and Goro circled around the side and followed suit.

Her car was messy. It was filled with food wrappers and empty bottles, but papers and notebooks were scattered around, too. So she kept busy, it seemed. He decided he’d consider this a point in the not-about-to-murder-you direction. Too much here that could be used as evidence against her. Too personalized. He was almost envious.

She adjusted her seat forwards and turned on the ignition. She was a bit jittery, Goro noticed, as she scratched the back of her head vigorously.

“So, I’m gonna drive us somewhere that isn’t here but I can talk and drive so, just— like, just a second, okay?”

He nodded. She drummed her fingers against the steering wheel. “...Goddamn,” she muttered, and then pressed down on the gas, turning her car onto the barren road.

She kept her eyes forward, but kept true to her promise of talking. She sighed. “Right. So, uh, to start… Okay, first, my name’s Ichiko Ohya, I’m a journalist. Get that cleared away. Next comes you which is a bit more complicated, but you probably wanna know why we’re dodging cops so I’ll start there. Or, as close to there as I can.”

He would take anything he could get from her, actually. The cops situation was undeniably concerning, but right now he was essentially a sentient empty shell, absorbing everything for the first time. A kid in a metaphorical candy store, but the store was a dodgy reporter who still might be kidnapping him and just stalling. He’d call himself the kid, but it dawned on him he didn’t even know how old he was. Fantastic. More things the hospital staff hadn’t bothered to tell him.

“Your name’s Goro Akechi. I told you that already but, that’s you. At least I’m like, ninety percent sure.” She spared him a glance. “You do look a bit different but all in all I’m— I’m pretty sure. Just the hair and the stubble, you know.”

Goro hadn’t exactly looked in a mirror recently, so no, he didn’t know. He knew he had long hair— certainly longer than Ohya’s. He rubbed his jaw and felt the rough and gritty bristles that had prickled onto him. It bothered him that he didn’t know. It bothered him that he didn’t know what he looked like.

Ohya continued, not letting him dwell for long. “You’re also sort of famous. Well, you were, and it was mainly with teenagers and moms in the city, but you were a popular detective. So, that’s how I know you. And I swear I’m getting to the running from cops part, but you have to know this first first. Oh, shit, it’s right here.” She took a sharp turn into a grocery store, and Goro had to grip the side to keep steady in his seat.

She didn’t act very sheepish about it. “Sorry, for that. We’re gonna talk in here.”

She paused her explanation to pull into a spot, which Goro felt a little thankful for because, under his circumstances, that felt like a lot of information to take in. He was well known, but not well known enough that anyone out here knew him. ‘Famous detective’ raised some weird alarms in his head, a position absurd enough that it might be true. It felt unfortunately right, like a disappointing truth. It was different from his name, more unwelcome. But it didn’t click either. Nothing had been clicking at all.

There was a pit growing in his stomach, like something was in there, chewing down on his insides. But he’d found he didn’t care for ignorance, so he would put up with it for as long as it took.

Ohya turned her car off, pushed her seat away from the wheel, and got herself comfortable. She faced him, nonchalant but sincere. “So this is where the really juicy stuff comes in, alright? So like, listen up now, if you weren’t.” There was something very serious about her eyes.

As if he’d have let any of her explanation slip under his radar. “I’m listening.”

That was a good enough answer for her, it seemed.

“I’m trying to think of the best way to explain this, honestly,” she started, thumbing the back of her hand. “You… okay, there was this guy. He was a really big politician that you were involved with, and it’s kind of a gray area as far as what you were doing for him, but you and him worked together. Kind of. He was a really shitty guy.”

She looked like she was considering her words. She turned her focus out the windshield for a moment, and sighed again. “He basically ended up confessing because this group— well, actually, they don’t matter right now. He confessed, and he talked about you. For some of it. It was a long fucking confession. But half of what he said wasn’t even coherent. He was talking about some crazy shit and no one knows what he meant by it. You were part of that whole section.” She paused again, thinking. Goro let the silence sit. He didn’t want to jump to a conclusion until he’d heard her out. Which was proving difficult, truthfully, because this all left a sour taste in his mouth, one that had almost certainly been there before.

“They wanted to take you in for questioning, but you disappeared. And, to add fuel to the fire, they were having a hard time getting any actual concrete evidence,” she began. “Can’t make an arrest based on a confession alone. He did other things, too, and that's what he ended up being indicted for, but there's still that problem. This whole chunk of confession is still there that technically lines up with his timeline of events, but there’s no way to prove it. That’s why they want you,” Ohya’s expression darkened. “At least, publicly, that’s why they want you.”

She readjusted in her seat again. She faced him fully. “This guy— Shido’s his name— he’s got goons. Not to mention, he had complete control over the police, and there are other higher up’s who worked with him. Some of those guys got busted with Shido’s confession, but there’s a few where there just isn’t enough evidence to put ‘em away. These are the ones who you need to watch out for.” She took a deep breath, not finished.

“I’m gonna be frank with you,” she continued. “They want you dead. They don’t want a single loose end, and you’re still dangling. The police are on their side. Are you understanding me?”

Goro tried to let the words sink in. That was more than a lot to think about. The creature in his stomach was grinning now, he could tell. But, this was also no time to get overwhelmed. If her words were true— which, the overwrought familiarity of her explanation compelled him to trust them— he needed to keep his head above the water.

“So these— subordinates. You’re saying they’re after my life? They can’t be actively hunting me down, if they have the influence you’re implying, or I’d have been found by now,” Goro said, deciding to ignore the fear creeping up his spine. “So then, what’s my public status? How unlikely was it that I was the egoless comatose patient they were searching for?”

“Uh…” said Ohya, seeming like she was the stunned one. “Well, you’re right, they don’t really have a manhunt right now. I guess I don’t need to worry about beating around the bush here— you’re presumed dead.”

Interesting. “That doesn’t surprise me,” he said, furrowing his brow. “But, obviously, a body was never found. They’re probably prioritizing morgues then, not hospitals. That does explain why I wasn’t discovered after all this time.” Though, if they’re smart, they’d also keep an eye on cases like his. They probably were, in fact. He’d gotten lucky that the police here were clueless.

Ohya gave him a very funny look. “You know, it’s almost creepy how well you’re taking this. You were in a coma this whole time?” She shook her head. “I’d have thought you’d be more out of it, honestly.”

“Is this not what you’d consider a wake-up call? I’ve been ‘out of it’ for a week. It’s common sense that I’d react like this,” he told her. Just going outside had cleared his head. He had a feeling hospitals had never been a fitting place for him. “Yes, I was in a coma,” he added, as an afterthought. “They said I’d been shot.”

Just as the words left his mouth, he realized the implications that had.

Ohya noticed just as fast. “You said shot?”

They’d certainly both had the same assumption— maybe an attempt had already been made after his life.

But there was something that felt wrong about that scenario, too. “I’m not… entirely sure it’s what you think it is,“ he replied. Maybe wrong wasn’t the correct word but, it wasn’t completely right either. “There’s no benefit to not making my body public. And, if they’re really after me, it seems messy, to say the least, that they didn’t finish the job properly.” He tried to speak confidently. The effort was familiar, too. Part of him wondered when he’d get the chance to do some self-analysis and tear himself apart.

Ohya caught on very quick, rolling with every punch Goro gave. “Christ, kid. What kind of shady shit were you into? So we’re thinking you’ve got another group after you?”

“I don’t know.”

He really didn’t. There were missing pieces, but that was evident. He had no end of missing pieces. If he was supposed to be some detective, then maybe he should get on with acting like it, and figure out whatever the hell this was.

Whatever business he’d wrapped himself into.

Ohya, again, spoke too quickly for Goro to finish digging through his own head.

“Maaan, I’ve really got myself into something haven’t I?” She rubbed her eyes, like she was already exhausted. “Look, I’m a busy woman. Don’t expect much out of me, but apparently I’ve got a bad habit of adopting puppies. So I’ll see if I can at least point you in the right direction, okay?”

He didn’t have much of another choice, other than to let himself be killed. He nodded again, not sure whether to call himself pleased or solemn.

She buzzed her lips and looked at him, obviously thinking. Then she opened her car door. “Well, okay. First things first, you gotta get some clothes, ‘cause you can’t go walking around like that. God, you don’t even have shoes…” She got out and stretched, and then turned back to him for one last comment. “Don’t expect much, okay? I’m not made of money. Don’t you dare go anywhere, either.”

She slammed the door shut and started walking into the store.

Goro was glad for the moment of peace. He let his jaw relax, closing his eyes. He hated how familiar the stress felt, and how desperate he was to welcome the feeling. A life or death promise was about as thrilling as one day should get.

Getting any memory back was his top priority. But he didn’t have an inkling of where to start. He didn’t have a phone, or a computer, and certainly not a home. He guessed he could use a public computer at a library, but just searching himself might raise more questions than answers. They’d be important questions, he was sure, but he wondered about the bias, the assumptions, the fact that it’d be an outside perspective looking in. He didn’t know how delicately he should go about regaining his memories.

Not to mention, he had only the word of a stranger and a low feeling in his stomach confirming he was even Goro Akechi. And now, with the reputation he’d had, if he even wanted to be him was questionable. Memories of such a life seemed… unpleasurable, at best, but he hadn’t set himself up to be able to just start over. Remembering his past was his best chance at plain old survival.

He wanted to have some kind of plan before Ohya came back, but he was drawing blanks. What he really needed was someone who knew him personally. Beyond media attention, if there was a single poor soul around who’d actually known him. He found himself doubting such an existence, past anyone who was out for his head.

He heard the car doors unlock, and he opened his eyes. Ohya was walking back with two bags, and she was on her phone again, barely looking where she was going. Well, there goes him having a plan. Bouncing ideas back and forth was the last thing he wanted to do. It was time wasted and he knew he would get frustrated, but his choices were limited. At least Ohya seemed pretty knowledgeable. It was possible she knew more than she was letting on, too.

She opened up the car door and tossed the bags onto his lap. “Hey,” she began, setting herself back into place, “I got your stuff but— I remembered something in there that might be a good starting place for you, if I can run that by ya.”

Or, of course, he could hear Ohya out and avoid idea bouncing all together. Something solid had come by much quicker than he thought.

*****

Ohya’s plan wasn’t bad at all.

She’d told him she had a contact from a few years ago, who was in charge of a bundle of self storage units. Apparently a certain “Goro Akechi” had registered himself one a couple months or so after Goro’s public disappearance. They’d told her once they noticed the name, but Ohya hadn’t taken up the lead at the time. When Goro asked why they’d even told her that, she left it at “no reason important,” and kept the topic adamantly off the table. Goro would push the envelope if it weren’t for the fact that his life (a life he didn’t even know he had, for the record, and one that still bothered him) was on the line.

If this unit did belong to him, there could be a very solid lead on himself in there, and leads on his acquaintances, too. Ohya didn’t know if the garage still existed, though. So she said she’d give them a call and see if they could figure something out.

Which is what led to Goro sitting in a barber’s chair. After he’d gotten dressed (an ensemble of sweats, a sweatshirt, and tennis shoes) Ohya had commented that he looked like he belonged in a homeless shelter, and “really needed a haircut.”

She said something about how he’d always kept himself looking clean, and Goro believed it. He was already feeling discomfited the way he was. So unkempt and basically filthy. So, she decided that while she was getting her contact all in order, she’d pay for him getting a trim and a shave.

She was helping him more than he’d expected her to, in ways he didn’t really expect. But he’d take what he could get. He’d hardly had a reason to say no.

He sat waiting in front of a mirror. He hadn’t gotten a good look at himself until now, but god, she was right, he looked pretty fucking bad.

The first thought that came to him was sickly. Eyes sunken in, deep bags under his eyes. You wouldn’t expect him to have just been in a permanent state of slumber for the past five years. Or maybe the correct assumption would be, a coma hadn’t been enough sleep for him.

His hair was just below his shoulders, and he had a very pitiful looking beard. He didn’t recognize himself. He didn’t think that would change much after his haircut, but it made him itch. It was a face that didn’t feel like his. He wanted to rip it off and replace it with a new one, one he knew better.

Maybe he’d never liked looking at his reflection.

Ohya had spoken to the barber for him. The one he got either wasn’t the talkative type, or really got his vibe of not wanting to speak to anyone. She went to work in silence, washing his hair with fruity shampoo and dressing him in a long black apron. That was all fine, albeit uncomfortable, but once she started cutting, Goro found he couldn't watch. The snips were loud, and definite, and it left his chest feeling tight. He couldn’t do anything but let his thoughts run blank.

He wondered if that was hair he’d had before his incident, now falling away. He’d have the same eyes, and organs, and teeth, too. But he felt all wrong in this body. Like it had gone on without him.

He was thankful when she moved to his beard. Just for a moment, though, because having someone so close to his face made him want to retreat as far back into himself as possible. A blade so close to his throat. He wondered how hard of a push it would take to make a cut. He wondered how deeply he’d have to go to make it bleed.

Maybe he’d always hated barbers, too.

When she’d announced she was finished, and Goro forced himself to look back in the mirror, it actually took him aback. It had taken years off him. She’d styled his bangs, and left no hair on his chin, but most importantly, it was clean. Soft looking. Pleasant.

It was almost enough to distract him from the discolored scar plastered on his forehead.

He stared for probably too long. His disheveled bangs had kept it clearly out of view on his first glance, but now that he was fresh and groomed, it pushed its way into the limelight. It was reddish, and almost shiny, and painstakingly circular.

He could feel dread bubbling up. He tore himself away from the mirror, and found an instant sense of relief when he wasn’t staring anymore.

Reflections and barbers. More to read into later, he supposed. He was learning he had been quite the hassle. What an annoyance.

Ohya met him at the entrance. Pure amusement was all over her face. “Shorter than I expected, but you’re looking pretty smart like that.” Her eyes went to his scar, but she made no comment on it. She frowned, but that was all.

Goro didn’t mind her reluctance on the topic. He raised his eyebrows, and spoke with the silent mutual understanding of “that is one gnarly goddamn scar” between them. “Ah, and I’m sure the sweatpants add to the look.”

“Watch it,” she snapped back, sliding into her usual demeanor. “Not like I could get you Levi’s, kid.”

She paid for his haircut, and out of the shop they went. They walked to the car in anticipating silence. She had her phone out again, texting someone now. Goro didn’t want to get his hopes up. Texting could mean anything, or nothing, or half of one or the other.

She pushed her seat back getting into the car, and pulled one leg up with her. Goro waited for her to speak, keeping himself tense. He really wouldn’t be able to loosen up if he tried, like a wound up doll who’d gotten stuck.

Ohya broke the quiet. “It’s still there.”

Goro sucked in, but didn’t let himself relax. Nothing ended there. It was one check off a list, but not all of them.

“And can we go in?”

Ohya blew air out of her mouth. “Well, she said she wants to make sure it's you, because there's only so many privacy laws she wants to break.” She shrugged at him. “But honestly, looking at you now, there's not a doubt in my mind you’re Goro Akechi. So, you can chill about it.”

He leaned back into his seat. The tensity had not left him. Something was making him lucky today, and he hated it. He would feel much more comfortable in the mitts of misfortune. But he couldn’t help feeling giddy, too. Like something was rubbing circles into his back, easing, but not erasing, bits and pieces of his concerns. It was something to focus on, and a goal to achieve. Above all, that relief made him feel pathetic.

“I was gonna ask if you wanted to go today or not, but you look more thrilled than I think I’ve ever seen you, so I’m just gonna take that as a yes.”

He hated the way she worded that. He frowned. “Only if you’re as concerned about my identity as you seemed to be earlier. You’re welcome to take your time, I’m surely not going anywhere.”

“You’re snarky! I never realized you had an attitude,” Ohya laughed.

She got the car going, and they were on their way to the unit. Apparently it was quite a ways, and Ohya advised him he’d better buckle in for a long one.

He could feel his eyelids getting heavy. He had things he wanted to think about, and questions he wanted to ask. Working up a tolerance to being active was not something that could be done in a day, but fuck if he wouldn’t try anyway.

But, despite how he tried to fight it, Goro fell asleep.

*****

He woke up when they were about ten minutes from the units. Ohya commented she’d thought it was a little funny that he’d been so exhausted doing just about nothing all day, but admitted too that his body was probably pretty weak, and he really should take it easy. As easy as he could, at least.

They were both quiet for the remainder of the drive. The sun was getting low now. They were passing by suburbs between grassy fields, driving past exit by exit. He had no idea how long they’d been going for. Ohya had called herself busy, and Goro believed it, so her continual help felt unusual. People weren’t just like this, he was almost sure.

She also knew things that felt… almost inappropriately relevant to him. The topic of the unit still tingled in the back of his mind. Why had they called her about his storage? And for that matter, why had she even known so much about him? The information she had felt intimate— like the results of a deep investigation. Had this all been yielded from that politician?

But Ohya had a distinct air of privacy. There could’ve been something personal about her aid, but Goro figured that she wouldn’t crack easily. It might be better to leave it— personal matters tended to yield lasting effects, after all. At least, he assumed so. He really wasn’t sure if that was as big of a plus as it appeared on the surface, though.

When the centre came into view, Goro let those thoughts ease into the back of his mind. He could focus on Ohya’s MO later. This was leaps and bounds more important to him; if anything was going to last, it was this. He could play detective, just like he was supposed to, and maybe come across some special clue. Perhaps he could test out his muscle memory and flex whatever skills he presumed he’d had.

They arrived, and it looked extremely closed. Like the only customers they’d been expecting were ghosts. The lights in the windows were off, and the gate guarding the units was shut tight. It wasn’t encouraging.

Ohya read his expression pretty clearly. She bumped his shoulder with her fist. “She knows we’re coming, my contact’s still here. The front just closes at 6:00. I’ll deal with it, so just stay put for now.”

And just as she said, after she hopped out of her car and approached the office, the door swiftly opened and a woman joined Ohya outside. The two of them seemed friendly. Goro watched as they talked, noting quizzically to himself that Ohya was someone who talked with her hands.

Ohya gestured to her car and they both looked over to Goro. He watched them walk over, and obeyed smartly when Ohya signaled him to roll down his window.

The woman peeked her head around to look at him, her eyebrows arched high. “Wow,” she said, completely staring now. “I mean, he looks like him, that’s for sure.”

Ohya grinned. “Sure does. That enough for you to let us in?” She didn’t really say it as a request, more like an expectation. Goro appreciated the tone.

She fiddled with her bottom lip. “Hmm. You said amnesia? He got any doctor's notes about that?” She asked, giving cue to Ohya’s sour expression.

“You didn’t say a word about notes

on the phone, you know.”

The contact clicked her tongue, and looked back to Goro. She bit the inside of her cheek, and sighed. “Just cause it’s you, Ohya, I’ll take that nasty scar on his forehead as my confirmation.” She rubbed the back of her neck. “Come with me inside, I’ll get his key.”

Ohya made a haughty noise of achievement, and followed the woman back in. Goro rolled up the window again.

They were taking a little while. He rubbed at his scar absentmindedly. So obviously a bullet wound, maybe that had been the real reason his barber hadn’t made much conversation. Whoever tried to kill him had shot just where it counted. You don’t fire a warning shot into a head. He wondered if he’d deserved it, and doubted he didn’t.

Goro removed his hand when Ohya reemerged from the building, and she was looking confident. She slid back into her car and jingled the key to his unit victoriously. “Easy peasy. She’s gonna open the gate for us in a second. Your unit number is 508.”

They waited for a little while, nerves ever growing, until the automatic gates opened on their own, groaning and creaking until fully extended. Ohya started her car and drove in, squinting at the unit numbers in the low light.

Rows upon rows of garages awaited them. This must’ve been a pretty large lot, by the looks of things. The dirt road was the only uneven piece of scenery, the repetition was endless. He kept a watchful eye on the unit numbers, as well, skipping between the evens and the odds.

After a few right turns, and one very tight u-turn, they were there. 508 stood wedged between its neighbors, almost at the end of the row, but not quite. Not a thing stood out about it. It was just as gray and worn and untouched as the rest of the facility. Not even the dirt was remarkable. It reminded him of the hospital.

Ohya held the key out to Goro.

“I’m assuming you want this to be a ‘just you’ kinda thing?”

The gesture was something he should’ve expected, but didn’t. It made him hesitate for a moment.

He took the key. “I appreciate it,” he said.

“No sweat.”

He got out of her car, and she drove off to the end of the row. She stayed parked within general sight of the unit. It was essentially pseudo privacy, but neither of them knew how long he’d be in there, and who knows what this could trigger. Ohya also didn’t seem like she knew a thing about amnesia. He wouldn’t look to her for comfort of any sort, but there was reassurance in her being a safe figure.

He took a deep breath. In through the nose, out through the mouth. This was his step one. He’d gotten himself into some deep shit, his past self hadn’t seemed to have a shred of self preservation in mind. Had he not encountered Ohya, he could’ve been dead by the hands of the crooks that call themselves the police by now. He had a lot more steps to cover, and each one would be riskier than the next. He was much more on his own than he realistically should’ve been. Most people had friends, as far as he knew. But this was seemingly his own fault. He wanted to know why exactly it was his fault.

One more deep breath.

He inserted the key into the lock, and grabbed the handle of the metal shutter. He pushed up, and with a squeak of rust and a bang of metal, he opened up his door to more dangerous times.

And it was nearly empty.

It was barren concrete. Newly disturbed dust was floating about. It was eerily quiet, and the stale air made his throat itch. Cobwebs stuck in the corners, barely visible in the low light of the setting sun. Though he wouldn’t call it underwhelming.

In the center of the floor was a cardboard box. About medium sized, without a lid. It matched well with the rest of the room, lined with dust and unaltered. He kneeled in front of it.

It was its contents that felt much more exciting. There were papers, lots of them. Thick manila envelopes full of information for him to flip through. He scooted back towards the entrance and pulled the box along with, trying to get the last of the light funneling in to help him read.

It was heavier than he expected, and he didn’t know how much to attribute that to his current lack of strength. He took out the first envelope and it, despite the dust, was clear and candid. When he flipped it around, he noticed with eagerness that there was writing on the front. He tried to make it out as clearly as he could, and in careful handwriting, it read: “05/21/2020— Case No. 1471”

It was a case file. He pulled out another envelope, and it was similarly marked. His interest was surely piqued. There must’ve been some sort of relevance to these, if they were going to be so pointedly left here. He pulled out a third, and then a fourth, and from the weight he’d expected many more. But, the pile ended there. Instead, what filled the rest of the box was another, smaller, wooden one.

He took it out delicately, gripping it securely around the sides to ensure he didn’t drop it. This seemed much more… personal. Shiny cherry wood, latched but not locked, just small enough to sit on his lap firmly. A thought that couldn’t help but be excited came to mind.

This could’ve belonged to me.

He wasted no time. He undid the latch, and it gave a satisfying click. The hinges creaked just barely as his clammy hands lifted the lid, and pulled all the way back, until it rested hanging by itself.

Inside sat more papers. Some were crisper than others, some had obviously been crumpled and then flattened out again. But there was consistency in each of them being folded neatly in half, stacked neatly on top of each other.

He picked up the one from the beginning of the pile, unfolded it, and was surprised to find it had hardly been written on; a simple “To you,” at the top. This was a candidate that had been clearly wadded up and discarded. He set it down carefully, and picked up the next.

This one hadn’t been written on much, either. It said even less, just “Hello.”

He picked up another, and another. It was all soft stationary, each topped with slightly different wordings, and some decorated with a couple lines, even. But they were all just about the same, a simple greeting, and then resigning.

They were letters. Or rather— drafts for one. So he’d learned today that he was indecisive, maybe a bit quick tempered, but potentially also at least organized. He assumed the existence of these drafts meant he’d never gotten around to sending his letter, either. And perhaps he’d never get such a chance, if this visit didn’t convince any muggy memories to creep out of their caves.

As he pulled out drafts and read his pathetic one-liners, he came across a page that was different. There was actually a fair amount of content on it, over a paragraph's worth. It had obviously also been cast aside, but even a spare scrap could be useful to him, in this state. He used the last of the remaining light to read it.

“To whom it may concern,

I would like to skip the inherent shamefulness of writing a letter to you, of all things, in my introduction, and I will title this ambiguously under the assumption that if you believe this does truly not concern you, that you will save me the mortification of reading through it anyways.

I won’t formally phrase this as a farewell, but you should take it as one.

Our unknowns are too great to write, and while you were not innocent, neither am I, and there are truths between the two of us that shouldn’t have remained unspoken. I’ve never thought to run from the blame.

My hands are not clean, and maybe they never will be, but they can still carry you home when you’re ready to sleep.

Perhaps a fact I recognized too late.

I do not want to say goodbye, however I—“

It cut off.

The letter left a lump in Goro’s throat. He read it through once more. He wanted to analyze each sentence down to its core, but the light had died out. But there were bits and pieces, words that suck out in his mind. “Farewell,” “Innocent,” “Unspoken.”

“Too late.”

Goro bit down on his lip hard. The case files— those he understood. With the life he’d allegedly lived and the people he’d known, of course something like that would be predominant. They were fact on paper, ignorant of bias, they’d be full of names and leads. They were important. But, he didn’t understand why these almost-letters had been left here. Out of anything that could’ve been kept. Had there been someone he’d felt so strongly for? To be kept in safety behind lock and key?

To identify this person— that could be his next goal to achieving his memories. To ignite the fire of their eventual reunion, and perhaps they could know what happened to him. They could come easy, though he suspected that anyone who he’d decided to be so rottenly open with wouldn’t be typical. But, they would also know him, past the media, past the appearances.

And, though he wasn’t going to admit it, he’d needed something more hopeful to work towards.

He put the papers back where they belonged, placed the entire case back into the cardboard box, and stacked the case files back atop it.

There was no telling how old these letters were. They could’ve been from much before his incident. But this set him up for a goal, a big one, that might get him back to whatever meager place he’d left himself in.

He picked up the box, and prepared himself to head back outside to Ohya. He needed to muster up his resolve, because this was only the first out of two very important clues this visit could provide.

He positioned the box onto his waist, and took one last look into the dark before closing up his unit. He returned to Ohya’s car, pulling open the door without so much as a greeting, and set the box on the floor in front of his seat.

Ohya leaned forward, interested. “That a box you got?”

He wasn’t going to talk about the embarrassing letters he found. Even if he wanted to, his second clue came first. “It’s not that important right now,” he lied. “Is your contact still here?”

She raised her eyebrows at him, but let the topic drop. “Sure is. She can’t leave ‘till we leave.”

Good. “I need to speak with her.”

She hummed in reply, seeming very curious by his idea. They drove back up to the entrance, Ohya not questioning his motives, but still giving him an inquiring side eye every so often.

They got out of the car together this time, and walked into the front office. The woman was reading behind the counter, almost completely in the dark, with only a desk lamp lighting her work area.

She glanced up at them, and placed her book upside down. “Hey there. You got that key?”

“Yes,” Goro replied. He placed it lightly on the counter. She took it without a word, and got up to put it back on its hook. Goro stopped her before she turned. “I have a question for you.”

She seemed a little surprised. She glanced between him and Ohya, and then put her free hand on her hip. “Okay?”

He hoped he could push his luck just a bit further today. He’d made it this far, after all.

“Is there any way I can see the documentation that was filed when this unit was made?” he asked.

The woman pursed her lips. “Ohya?”

Ohya put her hands up defensively. “Don’t look at me. This is all him.”

The woman stared at Goro. He stared back. This was arguably the most important part of the visit. He needed to see those papers. Just a single particular part, it was the one factor that needed an explanation. He would not leave until he got that documentation, and if he had to stand his ground and pull her leg a bit to get it, he would.

After their staring contest lasted just a moment too long, she folded her arms. “Jeez. Only because I feel bad for you, okay?” she huffed, turning on her heel. “And because my niece liked your food blog.”

She disappeared into the back of the office, leaving Goro feeling just a bit full of himself. He would think about the food blog comment later.

Ohya lightly punched his arm. “Okay, good going. But whatcha going to do with that?”

“There’s something I need to check,” he replied flatly. It made Ohya grunt unenthusiastically.

The woman returned with a few papers, all paper clipped together. She tossed them onto the counter. “This is a customer copy, okay? So feel free to keep it.” She glared at Ohya. “And, I’m going home now. So, get out, please.”

That got a laugh out of Ohya. “I know I can always count on you to bend a couple of rules for me.”

“Out.”

They left the building, Ohya waving her last goodbyes while Goro rushed to the car. He needed to get some light on these papers, it was long past sundown now. He slid himself into the car, clicked on one of the lights, and went to work reading, all while Ohya was still walking over.

Ohya opened her door and stood outside watching him, leaning on the frame. First, it was with interest, but it soon turned into irritation.

“Kid, tell me what you’re looking for. You’ve got your eyeballs all over that thing,” she said.

He didn’t let their conversation stop him from reading. He kept his eyes glued to the page, checking each word and box before moving on.

He did owe her an explanation. Getting his thoughts out would help him focus a bit, anyway.

“These sorts of things— storage units. Wouldn't they be paid for recurrently?”

Ohya went quiet for a moment. “They are,” she said, and joined him in the car. “Shit. Those funds can’t be coming from you, can they.”

“Exactly. I’m looking for the responsible billing party.” He turned onto the next page. None of the handwriting matched what he’d seen on his papers and files, which further confirmed to him that this unit hadn’t been one he’d purchased himself. Whoever this was had put all that information in there, those cases, those letters. He suspected they weren’t his mystery recipient, but he could confirm that with them once they’d met.

Why this had been done in his name, though, was beyond him.

He flipped onto the last page, and found his prize. Big black bolded letters asking for the responsible parties name, and neat penmanship filling in the blank.

“Sae Niijima,” he read aloud.

Ohya gawked.

“‘Sae Niijima?’ Seriously?” she scoffed to herself, and sunk down further in her seat. “She’s an attorney. A damn good one, too.”

An attorney? He wondered how she could’ve known him. “She’s the one paying, apparently.”

Ohya tapped long slender fingers onto her steering wheel again. She dropped her head. “Guess that means she’s our next lead, huh?”

Goro adjusted himself in his seat. “It does.”

“Ahh, man,” she complained. “You’re really somebody who’s in with the big guns, you know. You better let me have some exclusive with you after all this is done, or something.”

Goro gave way a hint of a smile. Probably his first since he’d woken up. If this would be the last of his luck, so be it. He hated to rely on something so shifty and mischievous, anyways. This was a start, barely a sprout, to whatever his big picture was. But he’d see himself to the very top.

Really, he’d already died once. Hardly a way to go but up.

“We’ll see.”

#thank u for the aaaask!!!#this is shuake but akira is actually not in it at all whatsoever #also im so sorry i know the ending is. unsatisfying.#i just realized if i wanted the most satisfying ending possible this would go from 8k to like 32k at least #maybe once i post all these prompts on ao3 ill consider adding chapters to this cause i do like the premise #this is also like. my first published non comedic piece. so a lot of this is experimental for myself #anyway i hope you enjoy!!!#my fics #ask #anonymous #my p5 fics

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luvdsc · 3 years

Note

hey there bub! i was going thru ur masterlist and i saw in the "about" section that u made eye contact with taemin OMG how did that go AAAAA u got to make eye contact with THE lee taemin? soo lucky :") i bet this happened prob awhile back but how was the superm concert? i'm sure it was amazing n so much fun AAAAA sadly they didn't go here in my city :( but i was able to see NCT dream live during their dream show tour and i tell you WHEW GOSH those boys are so ethereal??? like they look so good in vids and in pics but they're 1000000x better in person??? like pictures don't do their beauty justice?? gosh i could write a full on essay abt this. until now i still cant believe i got to see the dreamies live?? its feels so surreal like a dream, its crazy. i remember the lights dimming and 'dear dream' started playing in the background and i just lost it lol i was shaking and bawling my eyes out n the show hasn't even started yet djkfkjn i first noticed jisung n when i saw him the first thing that popped in my mind was: "he is SO tall and he's soso cute dear lord :")" and the way he dances, a frickin dance king?? he's rlly such a born performer. AND OHMYGOD JENO, the man is rlly WOW, ngl he kinda looks intimidating with his sharp features and smooth dance moves but his eye smiles make my heart mELT. i remember during the encore stage, the show was about to end and the boys were saying goodbye to us, jeno's face was showed on screen, he was tryna eat the confetti LMAO. renjun,, i will never shutup abt this but renjun is confirmed to be a FAIRY!! the prettiest boy :") #RENJUNFAIRYAGENDA he has such sharp yet delicate features and his aura is just so warm n comforting like he just captivates u n lures u in, and when he sings, like u can feel the emotion, hes so talented. all throughout the show, hyuck was just GLOWING (lives up to his name, fullsun uwu) . he's soso pretty n he's my bias so i literally was just in awe when i saw him, i was speechless :') he was rlly entertaining to watch n he was also so attentive to the crowd esp when he saw some ppl that got hurt, he kept telling us to move back a little. OMG HOW COULD I FORGET NANA, jaemin was soo sweet n charming and the way his eyes lit up whenever he looks at the crowd gosh my heart was abt to burst he rlly adores czennies :") jskfvkds hes also super tall lmao hyuck was tryna lift his shirt up tho and of course chenle, ngl but all throughout the concert, my eyes just keep coming back to chenle. out of all the dreamies, he caught my eye the most. like,, THE POWER THIS MAN HOLDS IS CRAZY?? THIS MAN DIDNOT COME TO PLAY!! his stage presence is crazyy ohgod esp during 119 performance, and he looks like a prince in real life. he also played the piano and i remember everyone was just in awe as he played like the whole crowd had heart eyes for him. it was such a fun n amazing experience, the boys were so amazing n talented, they rlly know how to put on such a great show. they work tirelessly n they're so good, like their voices and dance moves, srsly amazing :") ++ it so memorable cus it was my first kpop concert hehe. buying tickets were such a pain in the ass ngl it was so stressful but SO worth it 🥺 i knew jisung was tall but i didnt know he was THAT tall, idk if im just small but they all rlly look so tall JKDFSDJVFF sadly mark wasnt there :( sorry if i made this long, i just got excited and i thought it'd be nice to share my concert experience w/ u as well hehe 😅 i hope you're doing great bub!! <3

- 🐼 anon

omg hi yes, i was lucky enough to score tickets to see superm last year, and i was right up against the main stage railing !!! 🤩 so ten made eye contact and smiled at me, baekhyun also made eye contact and smiled and waved at me (he’s my exo bias and i was like the heart clutching meme when he did that), i yelled “you’re doing great sweetie” when taeyong took a pause during commentary time and he said thank you 🤧, and god taem looked at me for a good 20 seconds smiling at me and i couldn’t handle it and had to blink and look away and he laughed at me 😔 akslhflakshdfla but oh my god, lucas is so goddamn attractive irl it’s insane, and ten is sooo so pretty like i didn’t even pay attention to what they were saying during the commentary time sometimes i was just staring at ten who was in front of me and i was the starry eyed emoji (baek and ten were right in front of me, lucas was next to them), and pictures don’t do taeyong justice at all like that man is absolutely ethereal ✨✨ also!!!!! seeing ten perform his solos, hearing taeyong and mark rap irl and of course BASS GO BOOM BY LUCAS BECAME MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE WHEN ARE THEY RELEASING THAT SONG??? and i was in tears when taemin performed right in front of me like 16 year old me would be shaking in her boots if she knew she would see god taem in the flesh. actually current me was shaking askdjfhalksjdf i cherish all the videos i took so much (i accidentally deleted the entire jopping video except the mark rap part when i was trying to snip it to post to my insta story and cried rip 😭😭)

YOU GOT TO SEE THE DREAMIES IRL OH MY GOD I’M SO JEALOUS 😭😭 I WANNA SEE THEM PERFORM SO BAD!!! i keep rereading your entire experience and i’m living vicariously through you now aklshdflakjsdhfda oh my god, i wanna see jisung and fairy prince renjun perform live so bad 😭 i got to see hyuck perform three times now with 127, and he’s absolutely amazing, i couldn’t stop watching him dance like he’s my number one favorite performer in nct and the way he dances is heavenly and wonderful and his voice is insane 💖 he truly was born to be an idol 🤧💞💞 i want to write a proper response to each of your description of the dreamies but right now i’m just like no thoughts head empty just heart eyes for every single one of those boys 🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸 aaaa thank you for describing them all, angel, i’ll keep this in mind as i write fics :’) omg and this was your first kpop experience???? you’re so lucky!!!! 💓 also i feel with the buying tickets omg i always have to get up early and keep refreshing on every device to get decent tickets and it’s so stressful askljdfhaksd but it definitely is so worth it in the end! my only regret is opting out of seeing skz last year and going to a party instead rip and omg no need to apologize!!! it’s really fun to hear about your concert experiences, sweetpea!!! 💞 thank you for taking the time to share that with me 💘 i’m doing wonderful and enjoying my weekend, and i hope you’re having a good weekend and doing well also, angel 🐝💛✨

#asks #anonymous #🐼 anon

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mattzerella-sticks · 4 years

Text

Supernatural Crack🩹tober

Day 3: Baby/Pimpmobile - Shotgun

Baby stares at her reflection in the mirror, acquainting herself with new, yet familiar features. Runs a twitching hand through short, ruffled locks. Giggling at the sensation, and at the novelty of sense. Green eyes light up the more she tussles her new hair, wrinkles appearing around green eyes and pink lips. “Oh my God,” she whispers, voice a deep timbre. Rumbling without an engine. “Cars should totally come with hair!”

She adds hair to the ever-growing list of things she enjoys while being a human. While being her human. Dean.

It was a normal day, before. Better than usual. Instead of wasting time, collecting dust, resting alongside rows of retirees Baby burned rubber. Driven over hot asphalt, her tires endlessly spinning. Full up, Dean taking care by feeding her until she could fit no more. And, with open windows, the world could hear her voice as she crooned song after song. She and Dean duetting on most of them. Sam roped in on certain choruses.

But then they made it home. Journey over, the brothers began emptying her trunk. Baby carried an extra few pounds, souvenirs from the trip. From her rearview mirror, she watched them bicker while stacking boxes in their arms. Dean attempting too much, his face obscured by a wobbling tower. He inched backwards, Sam already given up and abandoning him. A box fell out of view, sound echoing in the room.

Dean stopped. Bent over –

Suddenly she sees brown, scuffed boots and an odd, stone figure. Startled, Baby relies on her defenses. Her sirens go off and she honks uncontrollably, but they’re different. Not the same.

She wasn’t the same. She was Dean.

“-and Dean is in the car,” Sam explained over the phone, Baby listening but not really. Distracted by an engine that beat, holding her exhaust until sparks burned inside her chassis, and headlights dimmed.

That’s not right. Not engine, heart. Breath and vision. Sam ran down basic human functions after the call, telling her not to overexert herself. “Be careful with Dean’s body,” he said, “he’s not as durable as – uh… as you used to be, Baby?”

Nodding, Baby mimicked an affectionate gesture she’s seen Dean use over the years. “I’ll keep Dean safe, Sammy!” she promised, middle finger proudly raised.

“…Thanks.”

Unhitched, Baby decided that while in Dean’s body for the time being, she might cruise the only other place he’s called Home. See how a stationary building compares against her sleek, steadfast design.

In her objective, unbiased opinion, Baby finds her competition lacking. It’s too big, sprawling like the American highway system. A map needed in plotting the path between point A and B. And the detours were confusing. One whole room dedicated for storing food? Pointless. Drive-thrus and diners still existed, meaning the stockpile she found inside a giant, white box wasted space for probably better things. There’s also a washroom that made little sense. How can Dean thoroughly clean himself when little walls were built throughout, blocking any attempt at moving onto the next station?

Humanity was too complicated for her. Baby enjoyed the simple pleasures. Air on her face, the sound of her steps echoing, and her appearance.

Wandering, she passed by a room with little thought about it. But, surprisingly, she shifted into reverse.

Nothing she saw meant anything to her. But her body – Dean’s body – eased, like when she would do rolling stops. Comfortable and safe, in control. Given how crazy the entire day’s been, she savors the feeling.

Curiosity returns though, not idling for long. Baby investigates the new space. Turns down the soft tarp, leaning on a plush ledge that differs from any surface she’s touched. Examines many hanging decorations of weapons, recognizing those as Dean wielded many similar shapes while around her. She refrains of grabbing any. Instead pulls on a loose hanging rag, surprised when a compartment opens up. Reveals more of the rag, and how it’s not a rag at all. Baby holds a smaller tarp, painted in a criss-cross pattern like the tarp Dean usually wears.

“That?” Sam said, earlier, following Baby’s pointed finger, “that’s not a tarp. It’s a shirt.”

“A shirt…” Baby repeated in this newer room. Rubs it against her face, smiling.

Dean keeps her looking one way. Always black. Never considering a different style.

Humans can change their style on a whim. Baby does just that.

She moves her hands away from her hair, traipsing along the lines of the shirt she chose. Buried underneath all the others, it was a tiny scrap of fabric. Decal sheared off, the hem ending halfway down his chest. Baby pokes at her exposed belly, laughter growing. Then, she rubs a hand on the denim short pants she loves, even if Dean only wears them when washing her.

“Must’ve been a dust storm or something,” Dean said, she remembers, that morning outside the human garage. “Don’t worry, once we get back I’ll give you some good ol’ TLC.”

It strikes her that, with their new roles, she can shower Dean in a whole new type of love. Engines revved; she guns back onto the highway. Racing towards the garage where Dean sat for all this time.

He wasn’t alone.

Baby skids, stopping at the garage entrance. She spies a familiar figure sitting on her old hood, although it’s been ages since Baby saw him in such a state.

Castiel kicks his legs, wearing only a pair of slacks while murmuring in a low pitch she cannot hear at this distance. Inching closer, Baby notices a nearby pile. His familiar beige tarp, and a darker color of a similar design. Striking blue strip still hanging off a wrinkled white shirt. And black hubcaps – shoes, they’re called shoes – with grey rags sticking out.

“…and the sky… the sky is so weird, here,” Castiel mumbles, “how do they put up with it? No blue, no purple – no sun, no stars…” He chuckles, stealing the road out from under Baby. She pauses, the sound hauntingly familiar to her. Not like the angel who’s ridden with her boys. Like someone she hadn’t heard in years. “I wish you could talk,” Castiel says, petting the hood now, “I’m finally awake again, but we’re still separated –“

“Linc?”

Linc’s head whips towards her, eyes widening in recognition. “Dean,” he stands, advancing, “Dean, I can – I can explain –“

“No,” Baby interrupts, closing the distance. She wraps her arms around him, savoring how he fit there. “No, not Dean,” she explains, “it’s Baby.”

“Baby?” Linc gasps, twisting in her grasp. He studies her in a new light, “How… when did –“

“Before you, I think,” she tells him. “What’s the last thing you remember?”

Linc scoffs, slinking away. Moving, she can tell how different he is from the angel. Hunched over, hands shoved in folds within the slacks that are slung low on his hips. “Darkness… y’know, so much darkness.” He looks left, at a nearby car covered in an old, oily tarp and dust. “But then that changes, and the next thing I remember, I’m in my ol’ driver’s frame –“

“Body,” she corrects, wincing under his arched brow. “They’re called bodies… apparently.”

“Right,” he drawls, whistling the word out. “Fuckin’ stupid…” Linc shuffles over, hand freed and hovering near her face. “Aren’t humans dumb?”

“They’re not dumb,” she says, face twinging with pain as she smiles. It hurts, in a good way. “But they do a lot of unnecessary things.”

“Fuckin’ A they do.” Linc gestures at the discarded coverings, snorting. “Why they wear so much, I’ll never know.”

Baby sighs, “You do tend to run hot, Linc. It’s not Castiel’s fault –“

“Maybe if he ever looked under my hood, he’d fix it.” Linc spits, bitterness soaking the words. A dark cloud of exhaust following it. “Fix a lot of things, make it so I can be out there, again. I can be… I can be with you.”

She missed him. Missed his snark, and his care. Whenever she returned, Linc would immediately run through a check list – hoping nothing too serious happened while out. Waited by her side if a hunt left some casualties and distracted her from Dean’s surgery with stories of his former life.

This anger… it’s been festering like oil. Every day Castiel didn’t drive him, it grew. Being decommissioned, forgotten, absorbed into an ancient collection… made the hurt grow. Baby tried speaking with him, then, in those early days. He never heard her. Couldn’t see how sad she was. Close, but still so far.

Baby grabs his hand, guiding it to her cheek. “I missed you, too.” She leads him forward, leaning on her old hood. “Missed a lot of things… but we have a chance. A small window of opportunity, while Sammy figures out how we can get back to who we were.”

Linc shakes his head, “Make that a large window. When the oaf left he had no clue where he should start!”

“Then we can do it more than once.”

“Do what?”

She glances behind, at her cabin. “They might have complicated much of life, but humans still know about simple pleasures. Let’s make like the humans do, and… fool around in the backseat?”

He catches on, laughter cutting through like a sharp honk. “I wouldn’t know where to start,” he wriggles his fingers, “still unused to all these extra… features.”

“I’ll help you.” Sliding off the hood, Baby and Linc hurry – hand in hand – into the second row. “Dean’s done this a lot. Now I’ll finally understand why he chooses to do it here.”

“Don’t think about Dean,” Linc whispers in her ear, tiny pellets of hail striking her skin. “It’s just you and me, Baby. Linc and Baby… together again.”

“Together again…” She turns slightly, enough that her mouth captures Linc’s, an imitation of all the times she watched Dean do the same through the rearview. Baby never got it. In that moment, she does. It’s finding a parking spot in a crowded lot. Passing a light as it switches from yellow to red. Idling on the side of the road during a sunset, her boys sitting on her hood. Baby breaks from the kiss, gasping.

She prefers being a car. As she was, her life was simple. Still… humanity had its perks.

Linc and her explore all of them, until the clock runs out.

(Day 2 - Oops! All Plaid)

#supernatural #profoundnet #cracktober #spn #spn fanfic #destiel #dean winchester #castiel #deancas #destiel fanfic #destiel fanfiction #deancas fanfic #deancas fanfiction #baby as dean #pimpmobile as cas #also pimpmobile's named Linc

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simptasia · 4 years

Text

neurodivergence in abc’s lost

i’m gonna be listing off and talking about the canon neurodivergent characters in lost. i won’t be adding characters that i personally headcanon as neurodivergent in some way, what i’m writing here is elaboration upon what has been given to me by the show. please note that none of these people’s conditions or disorders were named in the show, so such diagnoses being named here are me taking that extra step based upon their symptoms

first of all i wanna point out that based on what i’ve seen the show, that the island’s healing powers applies to conditions inflicted upon the mind, not ones inherent to the mind. thats why daniel’s brain damage heals, but people like hurley and locke will always continue to have depression

hugo “hurley” reyes

schizophrenia and depression

our most prominently featured mentally ill character. it might seem bold to label him with schizophrenia when it’s never said that that’s what he has. but during his time on lost, he displays many of the symptoms: paranoia, pathological self loathing, delusions and hallucinations. now, it’s a fictionalized depiction of schizophrenia and that’s probably not even what the writers had in mind but it’s none the less a really, really good and respectful portrayal of it

it would take too long to list off all the times when hurley displays paranoia (heck, it’s easy not to notice how much its a part of his character) and self loathing. delusions? the situations regarding the numbers and his bad luck (canon never ever Proves what hurley believes to be true regarding that stuff)

they did an episode dedicated to hurley having hallucinations. a man named dave who drives him to self destructive behaviour, self hatred and attempted suicide. fun fact: when people with schizophrenia in real life have hallucinations, they tend towards just auditory. hurley gets visual as well as per Rule Of Drama. this is not a bad thing, just a narrative tool

(steering slightly into headcanon for a bit here but i personally ignore the dharma made Hurley Bird they revealed in the epilogue and just take hurley hearing that bird say his name as an auditory hallucination. for two reasons: one, hurley hearing/seeing things that don’t exist is already consistent with his mental state. and two, that bird literally, genuinely did not fucking say hurley)

extra notes

to be clear, in case there's confusion, hurley really does have magical powers. he can talk to dead people. that isn’t a delusion or hallucination. you can understand how confusing and distressing this must be for hurley

he's had a compulsive eating disorder since he was ten due to the pain of his father abandoning him. his struggle with this is well documented

at several points during the show he’s shown to have trouble spelling. he especially confuses his “y(s)” and “ies”. it’s not clear if this is due to poor education or a learning issue. or both, really. it’s safe to assume with him being poor, mexican and mentally ill, that school wasn’t easy for hurley

hurley has unjustifiably lived at mental health institutions on at least two occasions (the first time was against his will, second was volunteer)

john locke

depression

locke suffers from severe self esteem issues, and i know most lost characters do, but i mean to the point of irrational and destructive behaviour. he has an obsession with being deemed special in order to justify his existence. he also suffers jarring mood swings. (he can switch from calm and jovial to angry and defensive at the drop of a hat). when he was wheelchair bound, this threw him into a depression. when he failed to convince anybody to come back to the island, he attempted suicide. he would have gone thru with it too. he will go to extremes to make sure things stay the way he wants them to (killing an innocent woman so they can stay on the island, tying up and drugging boone so he won’t tell anybody about the hatch), and will fall into despair if he fails

also note that the things im saying about locke are not a comment on people with depression. i don’t think all depressed people kill and drug people. those were statements on locke’s character that i believe are a part of his mental state. my point is: he’s emotionally unstable and he tried to kill himself. and i think his extreme need for validation (from people and the universe in general) is especially concerning

to me, this all says to me that locke has clinical depression

locke isn’t as easy as the other people on this list to classify as Canon Neurodivergent but at least to me, i think it’s very obvious. like i feel bad being so vague but like, basically, watch any locke episode

daniel faraday

acquired brain damage, severe memory degradation as well as other neurodivergent behaviours (i’ll go into it)

he’s played by jeremy davies. enough said

okay, jokes aside. at some point in the past daniel and his assistant theresa were involved in some vaguely referred to time based experiments. while she was catatonicized, the accident left daniel severely brain damaged (also daniel spent years doing radioactive experiments without head protection, which would not have helped and indeed that is foreshadowing of this whole debacle)

apparently this left him in a state where he can no longer take care of himself, having been assigned a carer. his most outstanding symptom is that his ability to process short AND long term memory has been impaired

short term: he’s shown to have issues retaining memories from day to day. he wasn’t sure if he had met charles widmore already (he hadn’t). charles lays some exposition on him and when daniel asks why he’s telling him this, charles says, with sureness, that “because by tomorrow you won’t remember this”. counting on that to be an absolute fact seems silly to me but that does seem to the case. again, Rule Of Drama is in play here

long term: he can no longer access memories he formed many years ago, famously the memories he formed with desmond in 1996. all in all, this condition is highly plot convenient. can’t argue with results, really

no, i can keep going, i got more, this is daniel fucking faraday we’re talking about: his ability to remember 3 playing cards has been impaired (note that this is a skill most 4 year olds master), he forgot the secret code the science team were all taught and when he introduces himself to jack there is a long pause, in hindsight implying that daniel forgot his own name

like real life memory conditions, theres varying level to how much he does and doesn’t remember. he’s thankfully not in a 50 first dates situation and doesn’t forget everything day to day. clearly he remembers people if they’re around enough, like during his time on the boat. charlotte, miles, frank, naomi...

upon landing on the island, his memory slowly gets better (considering his condition beforehand, the fact that nobody comments on this is staggering)

when dan is fully healed? i could not say, i could theorize, but such things are nebulous. but still, the times we see dan without his brain damage, he still behaves like a neurodivergent person. just not like he was when he was brain damaged. he stims near constantly, has a tendency to repeat names and words (echolalia) and it’s shown that dan compulsively counts in his head. he counted up to 864 beats, if i remember correctly, which is about 10 minutes of counting in his head. by no stretch of the imagination is that neurotypical behaviour

(im not trying to sound defensive. and i don’t think anybody, anywhere, is arguing that daniel faraday is a neurotypical. unfathomable)

going into headcanon territory again, his ND traits, when not brain damaged, say to me that he’s autistic and/or has OCD and possibly anxiety. thats all theorizing on my part tho. but the fact of the matter is, damage or no, he’s neurodivergent

notes

his apparent need for tactile sensory input is legendary in the lost fandom. in layman’s terms: him pet pet. not just people but objects too. humans, overall, tend to touch things to process input better. many ND people do it more, and it seems daniel is a case of that (i am not making a solid statement on jeremy davies’ neuro state. that’s his business)

he shows an inability to properly process grief

he also shows shocking indifference to his own safety, resulting in reckless behaviour. how much of this is a result of his mental state or his upbringing is up for debate. i think it’s a combo of both

without his brain damage, he appears to have an eidetic memory

danielle rousseau

trauma induced mental illness

pretty self explanatory. the loss of her expedition, husband and daughter, as well as 16 years of loneliness (on THIS island) has resulted in emotional instability for danielle. she’s prone to paranoia, trust issues, irrational behaviour

she’s just not well. she’s right most of the time but she’s not well

libby smith

indeterminate mental state

libby was institutionalized (the same place hurley was sent to) and placed on medication (which seemed like sedatives to me, based on her expressions). in the show it’s not what clear what put her there, but having just done some research, i’ve discovered that Word Of God says that libby became mentally unstable after the death of her husband dave smith. so this is probably another case of trauma induced mental illness. she must have had a pretty extreme episode to cause her to be sent to a place like that. something to think about

but alas, it’s libby, so not much info. moving on

benjamin linus

anti social behaviour disorder (is my best guess)

oof. depictions of mental illness with characters who are immoral are depictions of mental illness nonetheless. i feel almost silly saying this but: ben is not... okay

ben displays issues (at best) with empathy, compassion and morality. how much he cares about other people is highly debatable but one thing that's certain is that he does genuinely love his daughter. everybody else is ????

but the loving alex thing rules out him being a sociopath or having narcissistic personality disorder. and it is genuine because when he loses it with grief, it’s not a performance, because the only audience is us...

he’s a compulsive liar, lying even when it doesn’t benefit him. lying just because. ben is highly unpredictable, which isn’t inherently a neurodivergent thing, but when a person goes from a calm discussion to strangling somebody, all roads point to Uh Oh (i don’t know the technical terms for Uh Oh). many of his outward emotions are performed (the difference between his fake smiles and few real smiles is noticeable). he’s manipulative, he treats people like objects for his benefit/plans, he’s self absorbed, he has zero issues with murder unless it’s a child. he does have some moral standards. but overall, uh, [just gestures at ben]

also ben is repeatedly offended when other people don’t trust him, which is HILARIOUS, but also shows a cognitive dissonance on his part

hmm i need more here, im gonna break out the big guns

that’s some basic info there and doesn’t that line up with ben?

the article goes on to say that people with this can put on superficial charm. that is, behave friendly and “normal” when they have to. which ben is shown to be able to do

and this

“Serious problems with interpersonal relationships are often seen in those with the disorder. Attachments and emotional bonds are weak, and interpersonal relationships often revolve around the manipulation, exploitation, and abuse of others.”

reminds me of his situation with juliet. and locke. and his “friendships” in general

i snipped the wikipedia article for this because unlike the rest i felt,,, underequipped to talk about this sort of thing

ben being mentally unwell is clear enough in canon and i think this disorder is what lines up best with it. please note that ben is capable of change and growth (like people in real life who have such issues) and like the show i’m not gonna paint him 100% evil or irredeemable. i’m just saying what’s true

notes

ben says at one point that he doesn’t dream anymore. it’s highly probably that this is a lie, but if it isn’t, well that's not good. it’d mean his brain isn’t entering into REM sleep properly, which can lead to emotional problems

ben doesn’t blink as much as most people do, something michael emerson did on purpose. this can apply to some neurodivergent people

it’s shown that he was quite nonverbal as a kid. in the flashbacks in “man behind the curtain” little ben barely speaks

honourable mentions

pretty much all the survivors suffer from PTSD due the trauma of the crash

a great deal of the characters suffer from PTSD from trauma in general due to their awful lifes. like, abusive parents, war, loss of loved ones, etc

and i must note that ben, daniel and locke suffering from parental abuse, ranging from emotional to physical, is something to factor into their cases

claire, similar to danielle, also suffered trauma induced mental illness due to the loss of her baby and feeling like she was abandoned

sayid is depicted as dead inside during season 6 due to The Sickness, so thats like a magical form of depression. and one could argue that he already had regular depression beforehand

boone joked about shannon having bulimia. (whether or not it’s true, boone is an asshole) if it’s true, shannon has an eating disorder, which is considered a form of mental illness. espech one so self image based

self harm

self harm is not an inherent part of mental illness but such concepts are often linked so i felt i should mention some of these, it’ll be quick

hurley’s aforementioned eating disorder

charlie takes heroin as a form of self harm (that isn’t a theory on my part, it’s clear as day that charlie started taking it because his sense of self worth was so low that the drugs felt like the only option)

locke, hurley, (both as mentioned above), jack, desmond, michael and richard have all attempted/nearly commited suicide

so what can we conclude from this? well that's up to you, really. that i love lost a fuck ton? that the actors and writing in lost is amazing? that all the neurodivergent based depth got saved for the boys? yeah

but i wanna conclude with this: a part of what makes lost really special to me is that these people i’ve talked out here? they’ve suffered, and oh boy it was tasty suffering, but all of them, yes even libby, were more than suffering

these people have nuance. one way or another, these people (to varying degrees) were happy at times. silly. funny. angry. opinionated. they loved. they were loved. they lived and breathed as human beings. that means a lot to me

lost is a story of broken people given a second chance. take that as you will

thank you for your time

#lost #charthann #missinglost #(i don't wanna lose this so i tagged you guys)#i've made a list like this before but i wanna go into detail #and before i knew it i made an incredible essay #lost headcanons #most of this is based on canon but as i said there is extrapolation at play #and i mention some headcanons along the way when i felt it was needed #gosh this became a whole Thing #i hope y'all enjoy it!#and this isn't counting ppl i headcanon as ND #like jack being autistic or charlie having HPD #i could go into that too

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araisbored · 3 years

Text

Obelisk

That’s the only quirky title I could come up to make this a little bit more interesting.

I’m reviewing my favorite book again. More like making another post about it. Because I seem like the type of person to not shut up about something she truly, truly, deeply love. Though, I won’t really making a review. Because I am in no state to make one of those. I don’t know I just I’m not that qualified to that yet. Though I read millions of books, I still won’t. I re-read my last “review” and it just make me cringe because I can’t understand what I’m saying and there’s a bunch of errors on my sentence. Not that this whole post won’t containing grammar errors, but still. Also, the cringing intensifies when I saw that Jennifer Niven (the author of this book) liked my bizarrely wrong blog entry. Ms. Niven, if by any chance, reading this again, I love your work and I’m sorry for a lot of grammatical errors. Ms. Niven, your work changed my life and help me get through a rough time. Sounds cliché but its the truth.

To repeat what I typed, I won’t make a review. Yet, I’ll post a very private diary log which where I somehow discuss my opinions about this book. So here it is.

Trigger warning: Suicide topics, cutting and mental issues might come up on the next following paragraph. And it’s really graphic. Because it is a personal log on my digital diary. Beware.

May 17, 2019: Theodore’s death, Avengers: End game and GoT discussion.

I never had a proper review of this book. Because lets be real here. Its me and probably won’t matter. Last time or more like last last year, I made a book recommendation/favourites about this book. And I emphasize on that blog post that it’s not a book review. NOT A BOOK REVIEW. At all.

Because:

I am scared of the internet scrutinizing my opinions and views about this book.

It’s about mental health or part of it. So it is really a sensitive topic and I even haven’t figured myself out. So I’m not really sure if I’m the right person you want to have an opinion regarding with this topic. One thing about me is that you don’t go asking me questions on how you figured your life or how you deal with depression because, oh boy oh boy you’re in a wrong place honey.

Last night I searched Theodore Finch on twitter. Yes, twitter. Because that is where you get the real opinions. Real tea. As well as the stupid ones. And I read one thread or whatever you call it, some sort of a conversation or replies from one girl to another. (I just assumed you’re girl and I’m sorry if you’re not. I am really sorry for misgendering you.) The other girl said that she’s kind of annoyed how everyone around Theodore doesn’t get the signs when it’s literally on their faces. When you come to think of it. Its true. All the signs of Theodore’s disease was there. Bluntly on their faces. It’s kind of fascinating how it’s not noticed by his family and friends or even Violet. But again right now thinking about it, maybe because it happened when this world just slowly noticing or paying attention about mental health. Hold a second, let me search when it was published. Yeah, I'm right its 2015. A year of coming of age for the late Baby Boomers are introduced to depression and when people, mostly teenagers are committing suicide. I would be very harsh on my words because it was just me talking to myself anyways. So yeah, that's also the year where I'm cutting myself and wanted to kill myself. So no wonder Finch’s family have no idea about his mishaps and adventures. So about that discussion, it was already solved. That year was just the year where naïve people are introduced to mental health and issues. Anyways, back to that conversation. The other girl defended the book/author. That the author, Jenifer Niven, was just portraying real life happenings. That these things happens in real life. People really die because of mental health issues. By the way, Finch mental diagnosis wasn’t really mentioned on the book directly. As far as I can remember. That’s why I'm re-reading it again now. But so far zero mentioned of diagnosis or bipolarity(Is that even a word? idc.). Just the mention of him wanting to kill himself, the erotic changes in his moods, lack of appetite and being insomniac. He doesn’t sleep one night or he sleeps then have very bad nightmares after that. It’s pretty obvious but again, let’s refer to the points given above. Oh, oh! Then there’s one time he repainted his bedroom from blood red to blue. If that’s not alarming enough then idk anymore. But yes, 2015. The coming of age and the year where we birthed more stupid late boomers. But, yes. Wild book. A very wild and very BRILLIANT book. It’s the stupid characters or the people in Finch’s life that suck. Which is why I kind of sided to the girl who said that that the author doesn’t really write the characters well. Let’s call her Girl A. And the other girl who defend Niven, Girl B. I’m pretty sure you’re both girls but just in case, I’m gonna apologize again if I'm misgendering you. Or if you don’t wanna be called a girl. I can’t say or disclose that Girl B was wrong because he clearly have a point too. It happens in real life. People die from depression and I might be one soon.

Just wanna say that It’s a good discourse. Arguments like that are my favorites where both sides are not wrong nor right either, makes you really think. A read. Both the book and that twitter discourse. If you happened to read it, good. But if not sorry I can’t link it for you.

So for my opinion (oh no, here we go) I agree on both of them , as if its not yet obvious. I guess if it was written in the present days the author could’ve change the characters and made Finch alive. Or checked-in in a mental institution or he’ll be given a medical assistance he really needs. Because the only medical attention he was given was thru his Guidance councilor, Embryo. Which is a good thing, but also I think Finch’s situation needs more professional attention. No offence to all guidance councilors out there. I know you guys try your best. But you know, Niven can make Finch visit a psychiatrist in a clinic/mental institution right? Like violet. I know Finch’s financial state is bad but.. idk there’s something can be done here. But again it was during that time where people are shouting “Depression isn’t real”, stupid people posting tweets and Facebook status on how “Suicide is for the week”; they watch 13 reasons why and decided to skip the whole point of the show and just assumed that “yeah depression is for the weaklings”. It only shows how ignorant people are. They’re the kind of people who standby when you get punch on the face or laugh when people spreads rumors and lies about you. Basically, bystanders. I’m sorry I’m a little snappy. If you haven’t noticed. I don’t know I’m just mad today.

I think the book still holds it. And justify the ending. Though part of me really hate it too. But it kind of made me realized about a lot of things, not just about me but also about how I should interact with other human beings. I hate the ending because it breaks my heart but I guess it was necessary?? Or not. Any how, It was a good ending. Maybe its just me because I’m a masochist. But I can not think of any other impactful and realistic way on ending it. (Rereading this again and I just need to clear things up. That IM NOT A MURDERER OR A KILLER. I DONT NORMALIZE SUICIDE, but from a standing point the ending is justified. Its sad but its, again, realistic.) But still, breaks my heart, Theodore is a precious boy. Who deserves nothing but love. And I hope his story was more known by the people so jackasses would know how to treat their family and friends better.

[This part was cut because I talked about Avengers and GoT ending; Which is very relevant to this topic]

Love,

Ara xx

So yeah, that’s some of my diary entry. Re-reading it makes me realized how funny I am. Jesus I should read more of these. Who knows, I might post it here. If it’s not that personal. I’ll end this here now. I hope wherever you are you’re having a good day.

Ttyl, Ara!

#books #jennifer niven #All the Bright Places

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tfw-no-tennis · 4 years

Text

mtmte liveblog issue 9

back at it again, and its time for the shadowplay arc, HELL yeah

oh I'm so excited i love this arc lets DO this

oooh its nightbeat and quark!! way before they become relevant, which is so cool

‘one of those recepticon fanatics’ lmao imagine if they were...the recepticons. just doesn't have the same ring to it

god i fucking love all the politics of mtmte. i love how they’re talking about the senate here before we really get to See how bad they were (we heard a bit about it from whirl a few issues ago, and now here)

love how nightbeat is pretty much agreeing with the decepticon ideology here, even if its clear that he isn't Actually a decepticon - it just drives home the fact that, in this story, The Decepticons Were Right About A Lot Of That Stuff (or at least, they had a reason other than ‘destruction’ for rebelling).

AND THEN THERES RUNG!!!!!!! WITH HIS MODEL OF THE LOST LIGHT....god i fuckgin LOVE the continuity in this story bc the first time reading this ur like oh ok rung is old yea makes sense...but then later all the time travel stuff happens and then its like OHHHHH

damn poor rung nightbeat can rlly tell he's lonely just by looking at him vbhjdkdfhbjsjkdf geez. also nightbeat that's ur mystery stick bf from the future js!!

quarks extreme POV on all of the stuff is so interesting, and makes so much sense bc of Course he would think that as a non-combatant scientist who, due to his functional value in current society, wouldn't really benefit much from a revolution - in fact, he’d probably lose a lot. and that’s the sort of thing where you’re like, ok well think about everyone else dude, have some perspective - but at the same time, quark did suffer a pretty terrible fate, so his fears weren't entirely unfounded...augh, its so fascinating...im sorry I'm not gonna shut up about space robot politics this Entire time

HOW did nobody notice that dead body before now

ratchet spray-painting the hands he stole from pharma to match his own paintjob is like...kinda gruesome if you think about it hvbhsjkdfbkjdf

i love rewind sooo much oh my god

he rlly stashed rung’s comatose body in a wheelchair behind the bar hbkjdhfbshjkdf rewind

rewind and chromedome’s tag-team explanation....ough hhhhh THEM

wait a sec, rewind, you have medical records in your database? that is, at least according to regular medical laws, very illegal lmao. my favorite long-running theme in mtmte: the fact that hipaa and osha laws on cybertron are either basically nonexistent, or just universally disregarded

what the actual fuck is up w/cybertronian time units. that shit is wack as hell

ooh i love how chromedome looks different in the flashback - no shoulder tires! - that's a cool detail

how come prowl just said ‘minute,’ rewind was busting it up w/all the wack ass fantasy time units just a second ago. geez

also goddd i love the scenery of pre-war cybertron, its SUCH a cool setting like, visually and aesthetically and politically

like, i adore details like the sign in the bg that says ‘everyone’s shape serves a purpose.’ really adds to the ‘society on the precipice of civil war currently controlled by an increasingly-desperate faction who are doling out propaganda like crazy in an attempt to maintain their image and control over the populace’ vibe

good ole murder mystery setup. love it!

pre-war prowl is such an interesting character. actually prowl in general is such an interesting character...I kinda wrote him off during my first read of mtmte (and even a little during my second readthru) as just this dude who’s an asshole (espec bc my prev tf experience involved watching tfa as a kid, and this prowl is very different from tfa prowl lol)...but prowl is SUCH a multi-faceted and interesting character, even in the relatively little we see of him in mtmte

plus it was interesting to learn later that prowl was one of the characters that jro wanted for mtmte and didn't get, and MAN i wish he got prowl bc I would've loved to see what jro would've done w/prowl on the lost light, that would've been amazing. like, just imagine the arc he would have...I have no idea what that arc would BE, but I know it would be awesome. plus I’d be really interested to see how prowl would factor in, relationships-wise, amongst the crew of the lost light. so much potential!

anyways. I'm in a very talky mood tonight it seems. its currently 4 am so that kinda explains it. ok, moving on!

chromedome and prowl bantering....in their own morbid forensic-cop way...

skids bvhjdbsfjasf. speaking what we’re all thinking: is prowl gonna keep showing up in mtmte despite not technically being part of the cast??

swerves drawing of prowl lmaoooo

AND THEN REWIND IN SOME OF MY FAVORITE MTMTE PANELS....fuckgin cracks me up every time god. rewind was rlly about to flip their entire ass table just to demonstrate that prowl is a serial table-flipper...and then he cant even make the table budge and he just stares at his hands like ‘how could you betray me like this’ hvbajkhhsfdhksdf PEAK hilarity

drift hvbshfdjbasdfj his forcibly cheery expression even tho he’s being harassed by rodimus, who is a big whiny toddler w/drift lmao

rodimus is the type of guy who, upon drift not replying to one of his texts, would post a whole twitter thread being all like ‘these days u cant trust any1 to hav ur back...u think u kno someone and then they just ghost you...(1/14)’

again, rewind, HOW and WHY do you just Have medical reports, oh my god, somebody please call a hipaa agent I’m scared,

ratchet interrupting the story to give a quick medical PSA....that's Such an on-brand thing for Me to do that I feel like jro is assigning me ratchet kin as I read this

also, hey, its sonic and boom, those two decepticons from delphi! nice little continuity there

AND HERES ORION PAX SUPER COP

can’t believe idw made my dad optimus prime into a cop. smh. shouldn't be that shocked tho, I feel like half the idw characters are cops

orion rlly hit them w/the omae wa mo shinderu arrest strat

orion: I cant believe you're beating this guy up. anyways, now I'm gonna beat YOU up,

when ratchet puts his hand over drifts mouth and then gets spray paint on drifts face bhjdfsvsdjhfgbjdskf

pre-war ratchet and drift ;_; ratchet’s little inspirational speech...the fact that he tells drift that he’s special...the fact that drift remembered all of this even after 4 million+ yrs...it gets me bro it GETS me

ALSO the layers in the fact that drift then goes on to become a well-known murderous decepticon...so this little scene of him and ratchet in the past gives a lot of context to ratchet’s general attitude towards drift - ratchet clearly feels at least somewhat responsible for all the blood on drift’s hands, since he saved drift’s life way back in the day

the whole relinquishment clinic thing is such cool worldbuilding, bc of course that's the kind of thing that would develop in a society of robot aliens who are only allowed to work within the rigid confines of their alt mode

I love the whole matrix thing bc its kinda like being the pope or st but also you have a ton of political sway, so its a super important position, so of Course the corrupt senate would want full control over that power, and would assassinate the current prime to try to get their own guy in

god vhbhjsdkbgshjdf rodimus is such a dick lmao poor drift

HHHHH I love that the cybertronian version of an autopsy is taking the dudes body apart into the smallest components and laying them all out. that's so fucking cool

hmmmm chromedome maybe you should Not be interested in mnemology, how about that,

oh god. time to start being sad about op and senator shockwave. oh god

senator shockwave more like senator sexy

also the first time I read this I thought I had just missed his name and like halfway thru the story I went back and scoured the pages looking for it hbvhsjdfbshgfdsbj then I was like oh ok so we’re maybe supposed to just know who this guy is from another comic? but NOPE it was very deliberate and I only realized very close to the end that they were setting up some sort of reveal

its funny bc normally I'm not a huge fan of stories where politics play a huge role but I fuckgin love it here, the politics and worldbuilding is all so interesting and also balanced out with a healthy dose of cool sci-fi hijinks, so

lmao there's chromedome being obsessed w/people making the ‘pfft’ sound

also wow yet more hindsight, maybe you Shouldn’t be so interested in the Institute, chromedome,

OHHHH shit I forgot abt the red alert stuff happening at the same time as this :( :( :(

AUGHHH what a fucked up situation. god

oooof i gotta continue now!! what a solid issue, I love the shadowplay arc

#lj rereads mtmte

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the-nysh · 4 years

Note

At what point in the story you started liking Garou as a character? What was his first impression on you and how did it changed later as the story progressed?

Oooh! What a GREAT question, I’m so glad you asked! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ (Cause yes, my perceptions of him certainly did change over time! And that’s one of the fun things I love to see happen with other opm fans too.) So let’s see…*pulls up a chair and shovel to dig thru nearly 5yrs of archives* where to begin~

It was definitely a gradual process (so buckle in, this is gonna be a looong chronological trip thru memory lane. About 3500~ words!)

First impressions

Early on (and cause I’m skeptical to most new characters who I don’t ‘know’ yet), I remember feeling kinda like ‘huh? Who the heck is this guy? This wannabe Hiruma-lookalike (recognizing some of Murata’s recycled Eyeshield 21 char design elements for him) with some silly double Vegeta hair? The hell does he think he’s doing??’ Beyond being kinda incredulous about him, I honestly didn’t really give him much passing thought or attention either, and definitely not anything on a deeper level yet. He was just kinda there (I suppose?), but also out there forcefully (cockily and somewhat annoyingly?) inserting himself as the ‘villain’ into the story at times (which wasn’t really my thing), seemingly WAY in over his head with reckless antics and overambitious about what he was claiming to be and challenging himself to do (which I thought seemed both ridiculous and ironic to set up like that when characters like Saitama exist to directly check/refute his aims).

So at the time I wasn’t fully ‘on board’ or invested much in his story/concept yet cause I hadn’t really seen him…define himself (beyond those first impressions) into his own fleshed-out character. Because he still kept reminding me too much of other characters (I even heard him with Hiruma’s voice) rather than breaking out on his own. Murata’s early art also had yet to really evolve and settle him into his own distinguishable ‘face’ for that matter too (he would though later, when he’d draw ‘Garou’ recognizable as himself and not like…‘Hiruma’s shadow’ anymore). So with all that coming in, it’s hard to ‘see’ or genuinely ‘like’ a char at first when they haven’t done much yet to distinguish themselves from others and grow into their own. (Oho, how time will tell~)

This impression of Garou hadn’t really changed much and continued all thru the Metal Bat fight, by the way. (I actually caught up to the manga around the time Murata introduced MB with the centipedes and was about to start his fight with Garou. Events which weren’t on my highest priority to see either, cause I still mostly preferred seeing Saitama + Genos interact instead.) But on a surface level, I at least knew Garou was fun/impressive to watch and his excitable/feral energy was infectious and entertaining (Murata really knew how to hype him up too), but other than that, I’d yet to really ‘like’ him on his own (enough to talk/blog about) still.

I first eased into reblogging stuff with him back in Oct 2016, which included the first reblog of his back muscles (lol) appreciating how Murata drew him facing Watchdog Man so ksjggh that part of the story (when Murata was teasing their fight) was also when Garou starting having a presence on my blog. :O

First turning point

However, I distinctly remember the first ‘aha I see now’ point in understanding him better was when I did a second reread of the webcomic. (I don’t exactly remember when that was, but probably sometime during the tournament arc when the pace was kinda dragging, so I prob reread the wc around then for fun.) It was around early-April 2017 when I later admitted that (in the tags):

I’ve come to really like Garou, a second read of the webcomic made me fond of him, of his background and ideas he wished to set out and change, his heart was in it and he had his set of morals, but he was young and brashly took the wrong path, I really want to see him return someday now that he's learned better

Cause following the big webcomic reveal at the end of his arc (when Saitama calls him out), going back thru his entire story again you could totally spot all the consistent hints and signs (from both his backstory and actions) ONE sprinkled the entire time, making everything revealed about him true, and not suddenly sprung up outta nowhere. It was finally like ‘aaah, I understand what’s up with him and can sympathize where he’s coming from. Yes that makes sense. :O’ However, this clarity/acknowledgment had yet to shift from simply ‘seeing’ or understanding a thing as knowledge, to actually feeling it (connecting on a deeper/personal level) later. That’ll remain a big distinction.

May 2017, I first started writing some early meta break downs about him, starting with his end-arc parallels in Suiryu’s despair moment and from this, there was acknowledgement how all ONE’s manga additions (up til then this was still all tournament arc stuff) were only building further context towards what’s to come much later on in the webcomic.

June 2017, I started posting stream coverage about him (vs Watchdog Man stuff when he intercepts King and Saitama.) Around this time I also admit this kinda stuff in tags ‘goodness how I love that this nerd has a soft spot for that kid (truthfully he's not monstrous at all)’ for appreciating the manga’s wholesome extra Tareo moments.

Second big turning point

Around Sept-Oct 2017 was when post content/stream coverage kinda started exploding during the whole vs A/B heroes + shed fight. This whole sequence, following the tournament arc, was the first big long-awaited return back to the wc’s script (with style!), but with significant expansions (esp to his character) never seen before. In particular, the bullet shielding moment was changed/revised from him simply standing there in the wc, to Garou protecting Tareo in the shed.

Truly awesome and moving because dang, he selflessly put his life on the line for that ‘Garou the determinator fending off the impossible while protecting a kid ;o;’ Firmly standing up to (injustices) and revealing his solid moral core, like wow, what a guy. <3

Murata’s stream output picked up significantly back then too (compared to his slower pace drawing the previous arcs), so I also admitted: ‘gosh been cheering for Murata's hard work just like Garou's in-chapter determination!’

But also cause this whole fight was like the first actual, legit demonstration (shown, not told) of Garou’s prodigious fighting skills, intelligence, tenacity, resourcefulness, perseverance, etc. Like this is what he’s actually capable of when pushed to the brink; testing the actual quality of his character (showing his true colors) and allowing those merits to shine while under unfavorable, difficult, and desperate conditions. And all impressively done in a way to make the audience both believe it and root for him (presented from his side much like a protagonist? Wild! 8D) It was extremely thrilling and badass (truly that whole shed part was brilliant, narratively and spectacle-wise. As I’ve repeatedly gone back to write about many times and again. :’D) My impressions of Garou around this time:

yoooo boi see I really like Garou, the wild prodigy determinator with a misguided goal, going all out and demonstrating his talent and prowess (even tho he gets in over his head), PROTECTING CHILDREN WHEN HE PRETENDS HE DOESN'T CARE, omfg what a softie (as Saitama would say) :'D, yaaa see he was never a 'real' monster at all, Saitama can see straight through him, and what he REALLY wants to achieve

Dec 2017, first started getting some sporadic Garou anons after the whole epic manga spectacle vs Genos + Bang + EC fight with everyone.

Jan 2018, back when Garou was captured in the MA base and then left to his own devices above ground…things started getting really interesting. Including noticing ONE’s more careful (or perhaps more transparent?) approach to writing Garou’s manga portrayal this time around. Different and more nuanced from the wc for instance, so there were many fascinating contradictions and complexities to uncover (break down meta-wise) about his convictions, beliefs, thoughts, feelings, and how he applied those thru his actions and behavior (revealing decisive acts of character). This was when @gofancyninjaworld also started joining in to discuss and explore Garou’s ongoing dilemma with his goals and mindset. “His heart is in the right place, but his means are not, because at his core, he’s not a monster.” I admitted ‘Garou’s one of the most well-written characters in the story, I feel.’ And I was really looking forward to all the significant changes ONE was doing to make his manga story all the more defined and cohesive than it already was in the wc. That made things extra engaging (when there’s a desire to look deeper into things for fun and excitement for more).

Third turning point

Feb 2018 Oooh man. It was around here, (when Garou saves Tareo from the bullies and confronts RR and Bug God) that I was really starting to feel that shift happening (the impression of him turning into something more), so I had to comment on his ongoing characterization presented thus far (budding into a well-rounded, 3 dimensional character) and how ONE was (re)writing him in a more personal, sympathetic light that made him so easy to root for and genuinely likeable. I was fully AWARE of this happening and what both Murata and ONE were doing to increase his appeal. Admitting the more they revealed of him the more I was falling deeper for him, and fully welcoming it by narrative design. (Like alright let’s goooo! 8’D) Cause it was obvious how much differently and expansive he was getting portrayed vs the wc (with much less moral ambiguity). I said:

“Garou’s not simply a rogue, prodigious teen going on a spiteful rampage with an overconfident, slasher smile. Consistently, he’s been shown what really makes him tic: what gets him serious, passionate, sincere, and desperate – things that force his hand to either fight or defend against, with standards and ideals that he’d put his life on the line for. All of it is great: a variety of expressive emotions and definitive acts of character that all build towards the whole. Which we’re then left to ponder exactly what that is. Is he truly a villain or a hero? Is he really a troublemaking bad guy or actually a misguided ‘nice guy’? The answer isn’t so black and white; it’s more like a mix of ALL of the above. And I LIKE that. As ONE has presented him, Garou is Garou, and not really someone to align or classify as simply one or the other. He’s in that kind of delicious gray zone where he’s getting put to the brink to show his true colors. And it’s so GOOD and refreshing to see.”

That plus the manga showing his deeper bond with Tareo, his gruffly protective qualities (ok but that’s kinda hot?) and a more sincere showing of his morals (which he refused to budge on no matter what anyone else ordered him to do), brought on all the feels. :’)

Stream coverage + ch commentary devolved to like unintelligible screaming, with some ‘man he’s so fucking cool,’ or ‘damn protective Garou’s SOO good,’ or ‘I swear the more Murata draws of him the more I fall for him like wtf,’ or even the flat out ‘GODDAMMIT MURATA ;A;’ types of suffering reactions, ahaha.

At this point I was all ‘bring on the Garou appreciation; he deserves it; I have a mighty NEED’ but was kinda annoyed/frustrated with the fandom cause there was hardly any recent fan content of him (relevant to his current plot progression, it was all suspiciously dry or old ship-related content I wasn’t interested in cause the plot had moved on, so I was like omg where is everybody, hello?!) It was already a dry spell in between seasons so overall fan content was slow anyway, but it seemed like there were so few actual fans of him (to my confusion?!) So I started making my own content (beyond just the stream coverage and ch reactions/commentary + meta) with the expression posts appreciation.

March 2018. U-uhoh, things (and posting frequency especially) were starting to escalate. His reaction to literally getting backstabbed by the monsters and losing Tareo (his quiet but seething controlled feral rage) definitely had me feeling™ things.

Final nail in the coffin

April 2018 Oshit;; Garou forcefully storming and bulldozing his way thru the MA base, his awesome BIG DAMN HEROES moment rescuing Tareo from Royal Ripper, to his hilarious absolute tsundere™ moment denying it (before running into Rover and immediately protecting the kid again) pretty much destroyed me. This was also like the first time I’d seen ONE make a character go full tsundere mode and pull it off in a genuine comedic way (with the classic ‘it’s not like I came here to save you or anything baka’ line and all) so pfft, that was so much endearing icing on the cake. :’D

At this point someone even asked me who’s my favorite opm character, to which I was all, ‘Garou’s current manga content has been on fire so he’s been quickly skyrocketing into my favs (if he wasn’t there already)!’

But then Murata soon dropped THIS ‘protect the child’ page all with perfect timing, and I was…fucking doomed.

'sugoi ojisan' was pretty much the moment of instant death for me ;A; my constant reaction to the streams has been that gaijin 4koma meme with laser heart eyes for emphasis, and I'm pretty much losing my ability to articulate much beyond screaming at this rate

Garou’s behavior could then be summarized as ‘a very stubborn and in denial asshole tsundere little shit nerd. <3’ But there was classic ONE heartwarming irony in there too, cause Garou hadn’t fully ‘lost’ his battles either…during those critical times where he actually assumed the role of the ‘hero’ for Tareo instead. (Oho~)

basically Garou is a great character, the more you look into how ONE has built him the more meta af it gets

May 2018 (the long-awaited debut of the wc ‘scarf’ vs Rover towards Garou vs Orochi’s epic wtfshitstorm) lolwhoops~ I finally made the inevitable back muscles compilation while also writing longer, more in depth meta posts about him.

Murata delivered some of the best stream content we’ve seen of him. (Completely on FIRE, both literally and figuratively. And looking back, this was probably some of the most fun Murata’s stream sessions ever got. :’D Was awesome to be a fan tuning in during this time.)

even Murata was doodling chibis of himself freaking out in the margins XD

Delivering content from the pose of peak badassery…to dropping stream doodles of peak heartwarming/cuteness (Garou & Tareo in suits) on the fans for good measure.

bam Murata’s out to kill us with his art ...Murata can you like -maybe- chill? ABSOLUTELY NOT

Basically Murata knew exactly what he was doing, always delivering and servicing the fans (drawing the coke bottle was a fan suggestion too) yet also remaining a huge tease~

Towards S2 and beyond

June 2018, following the Orochi fight, Garou was put on a bus and absent from the manga for a while, so I went back revisiting older content again (rereading the manga for fun) and realizing/noticing/wondering stuff I hadn’t really caught about him before like…oh no why is he cute?? Was he always this way or had my eyes finally opened after everything??? (Cause aside from him being a little shit or a cool badass, he was also a complete dork and a nerd, and an oblivious dummy, and just…that was so…wtf endearing, a full package of fun to enjoy.)

But we soon got clips of Midorikawa’s voice reveal (from the opm drama cd) and all hell broke loose among the resident Garou fans. 8’D Especially cause his voice was ‘dark/smooth/mature/sexy’ as opposed to a higher-pitched, unhinged teen voice many had expected (remember that old Hiruma voice I first thought for him? So interestingly many fanboys were disappointed with this deeper voice casting). But also cause Midorikawa said “I’ll do my best to make Garou even more charming than before,” so we were excited to see Garou’s popularity spike even more cause of s2.

Aug 2018, the s2 key visual revealed with Garou prominently featured up and center and I WAS NOT PREPARED!!! I remember having like a full hyper-incoherent breakdown because of this so…yeaaaaah. 8’D I was all rationalizing,

If anything it’s all Murata and ONE’s fault that (the hype and appreciation for him) feeling’s grown even stronger. He was already a thoroughly fun walking meta source, but the manga made his softer/compassionate moments much more obvious (than in the wc). Just watch as this badass dorky nerd becomes even more hugely popular than he already is!

April 2019 was his anime debut…coincided with his post-arc WEBCOMIC DEBUT AFTER 5 FUCKING YEARS (before he even returned in the manga even) IMPECCABLE timing from ONE, holy shit people lost their minds. Including Murata, who had to draw him too! With all that and the anime airing (adding even more wholesome cute Tareo interactions not seen in the manga), fandom participation (+anons) really started to kick off.

I remember seeing the influx of new fans and how so many (who didn’t ‘know’ him yet either) would unironically label him as genuinely ‘evil’ or a ‘heinous villain’ at face value, which….uhhhhhh were the kinda takes that were hard to take seriously, but I appreciated how ONE’s writing allowed the readers to see and think for themselves as the narrative revealed more (rather than believing everything the characters said or claimed), so it’d only be a matter of time until they ‘saw’ the truth about him too. :’)

May-July 2019 the anime continued airing with fandom activity popping, until August when he finally reappeared and ‘awoke’ in the manga! ;A; After like an entire full year of him mia too. This was also the time frame when all the thirsty (and interestingly meta-hungry) Garou anons started (finding me???) regularly chiming in with fun participation. I was grateful though, cause they prompted certain takes I couldn’t have come up with on my own, and allowed me to think, examine, and explain things much more closely and thoroughly than I had ever posted before. (Yaaay~) Such as looking into just what IS it about him?!

“Garou wouldn’t be as compelling, engaging, and appealing as a character without (all) those other interesting layers and nuances to talk about too! :D It’s even better that way! Cause Murata can draw everyone looking drop-dead gorgeous and conventionally attractive, so just having a pretty face and impressive muscles isn’t enough to make him stand out in a special way from the rest of the cast. Already all those things (about him) are certainly impressive, so just what is it about him in particular? (That makes him unique.) The fact Garou has all that AND those other compassionate & interesting qualities to him just makes it the icing on the cake for a complete, well-rounded package. The fact we can know him, for all his feelings and attitude why he behaves and acts the way he does, such as when he’s contradictory, troubled and tsundere-like sometimes, to hardcore and badass other times, to softer and empathetic to fiercely righteous, protective and determined other times, and all portrayed in the way he’s capable of the range (and makes us feel) the entire spectrum of emotion too. …Like whoa (I could keep going but I’d be preaching to the choir at that point aha), all that only enhances what’s already there. In this way, I feel the Garou we’ve come to know by now is much more endearing and appealing than the one we were introduced to at the start. Because as he appeared then, he may have seemed like just another wannabe thug-of-the-week we might not have given much passing thought & attention to. But now…uhoh, you could arguably say he’s grown to the point he’s almost taken over the rest of the manga (within good reason!) by challenging our perception of who’s even the active protagonist. :O Who keeps us engaged and tuned in to see more. Buaha, just what the hell happened?! Now that’s quite the impressive feat from both ONE and Murata to create a character with a lasting impact like that!”

…So that’s what happened. :’D In my opinion, I feel Garou’s best moments where we (or really, I) got to know him better (shed scene, Elder Centipede aftermath, dine n dash, rescuing Tareo, all up towards his fights vs Rover & Orochi) mostly only happen until after s2 so… Since those were some of my absolute fav manga moments (which only enhanced my perceptions of him), those’ll be the moments I’m really looking forward to see animated in s3. But most of all, I’m hoping to witness some of that same ‘aha!’ gradual realization process happen to newer fans who come to appreciate him too. :’3

#Anonymous #replies #opm #garou #commentary #long post #(readmore pls actually work! ...i think it broke after editing it once)#anyway THIS took plenty of time to put together and relive/remember all those moments from years ago 8'D #how things certainly changed (and escalated!) but here's a breakdown of everything; enjoy~

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thewillofalbusdumbledore · 4 years

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Thank you for tagging me @sabitchhh !!! Not tagging anyone so anyone who wants can do this <3

50 QUESTIONS YOU’VE NEVER BEEN ASKED

what is the color of your hairbrush? I have a wooden comb that I got in Estonia but I barely use it, only once a week or so

a food you never eat? Bacon!

are you typically too warm or too cold? Really depends, cold in the mornings and warm when it's stuffy

what were you doing 45 minutes ago? Eating dinner with my family. My dad made mashed potatoes with dill in it, truly a russian feel-good food<3

what is your favorite candy bar? It used to be bounty but I can't eat those anymore 💔 can't think of any good vegan bars off the top of my head:/

have you ever been to a professional sports event? Yes I've watched several karate competitions and participated in a national one (got 4th place for kata!!)

what is the last thing you said out loud? Honestly cant remember, probably "ok" or soemthing to one of my parents

what is your favorite ice cream? Chocolate or caramel

what was the last thing you had to drink? water

do you like your wallet? Yes!! I got it in Primark like 6 years ago, its brown and its the perfect size for me. One of my rats has chewed on it a little which I'm actually not annoyed about, it's like a present

what was the last thing you ate? Matza with hummus (trying to finish the stock we have like 4 left)

did you buy any new clothes last weekend? Yes I did actually! Got some 2nd hand jeans and a top

the last sporting event you watched? Eurovision 😗✌

what is your favorite flavor of popcorn? Plain salty x just like me

who is the last person you sent a text message to? My friend who is in Italy:(

ever go camping? I did a few times when my friend came to visit me from Israel

do you take vitamins? I take these multivitamins made for vegans they have B12 in them and shit (I often forget though)

do you go to church every sunday? i’m jewish, sweaty (keeping ur answer xx)

do you have a tan? I live in northern England so

do you prefer chinese food or pizza? Probably Chinese

do you drink your soda with a straw? I don't drink coke it can die. Also don't like straws in general for me they are unnecessary

what color socks do you usually wear? I have many black ones with different colour toes, some white and some funky colourful ones with random shit on them. My favourite ones are these blue and black ones with stitch from lilo and stitch

ever drive above the speed limit? Yeah but I try to go back down to it as soon as I notice

what terrifies you? Never fitting in, never finding friends or a partner. Being alone

look to your left, what do you see? My very messy night stand. I need to clear it

what chore do you hate? Wiping down dust, and folding laundry

what do you think of when you hear an australian accent? This Australian woman who runs a cooking channel on YouTube (it's called "how to cook that" check it out!)

what’s your favorite soda? I don't drink fizzy drinks xx

do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru? Neither really? We don't have many drive thrus in the UK first of all. Second I'd rather get chips or pizza at a pub

who’s the last person you talked to? My mum

favorite cut of beef? I don't eat beef aha

last song you listened to? Shrinking Universe by muse

last book you read? Currently making my way through harry potter and the chamber of secrets for the 100000th time

favorite day of the week? Saturday

can you say the alphabet backwards? I can't say it forwards

do you like your coffee? Hate coffee I'm a tea person

favorite pair of shoes? My green lesbian boots. They are starting to crack:(

at what time do you normally go to bed? Between 11 and 1, depends

at what time do you normally get up? Used to be around 9-11, now 7:(

what do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? Sunsets for sure. Had some of my best moments during sunsets

how many blankets are on your bed? 2, one duvet and 1 stinky thin one my rats curl up in

describe your kitchen plates. They're from Ikea I think, white with light blue flowers and a sprinkle of red here and there

do you have a favorite alcoholic beverage? The pink gin lemonade that comes in cans in supermarkets. I am very classy

do you play cards? I used to as a preteen and it makes me sad that I don't anymore. Knew all these Russian games that I now forgot, have to fix that!!

what color is your car? I do not have one but I drive my dad's car which is black

can you change a tire? Nop I am a fake lesbian

what is your favorite province? If we're talking area id say north east UK xx

favorite job you’ve ever had? Have not had real jobs bc I an studenting. But for a week when I was 16 me and my best friend helped out at a summer camp that we used to go as kids and got 100 shekels for the week that was really fun

how did you get your biggest scar? A scar on my right knee, I was 9 I think and me and some classmates were playing catch on the gravel in the school yard right before a big school show that our year was doing with dances and everything (including a dance that involved kneeling on your RIGHT KNEE). One of my classmates who was chasing me (damn it marta) fell on top of me and I grazed my knee really badly on the gavel, my skin was hanging off it was disgusting. But I somehow managed to do all the dances 30 minutes later, with a bloody knee that was sticking to my trousers

what did you do today that made someone else happy? Really nothing

#tag game #that was really fun took my mind off of things

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trashcanmarvelfan · 5 years

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Second Chances - A Benverly Post- IT: Chapter Two Fanfic

Summary: After everything is over, Ben finally asks Beverly about the bruises he noticed on her arm the night they arrived back in town.

Warnings: 2 uses of the F-bomb (if you've seen the movie you guys know Richie has a mouth like a sailor so that's not too bad, all things considering) and non-graphic allusions to spousal abuse. Bonus Reddie feels, although Eddie is still dead, guys.

Word Count: 2100-ish.

Author’s Note: I wish we would've gotten more sweet Benverly togetherness in Chapter Two, but that's what fanfic is for, right? Whipped this up, gave it a read-thru, and here you guys are. Enjoy.

CROSS-POSTED ON AO3 (Coming soon).

Ben Hanscom stood in a small circle with his childhood friends inside the underground clubhouse he had built during the summer they had all met, the summer that had been both of one of the best & one of the worst summers of Ben's life-- although he hadn't known it at the time. He had met Bev, Bill, Richie, Mike, Stan, and Eddie, who along with Ben collectively formed the Losers Club. During that summer Ben had also battled an evil demonic clown, wrote the first-- and last-- love poem he had ever anonymously sent someone, and had his first kiss (well, sorta). Unfortunately for Ben the person with whom he shared his first kiss was, at the time, incapacitated due to said evil demonic clown, and the poem was incorrectly attributed to someone else.

The Losers had scattered after that summer. Bev had gone to live with relatives out of state, Eddie had been dragged off to a new town by his mom, and eventually the rest of the Losers moved off as well, forgetting about Derry, that summer… and each other.

All except for Mike. He had stayed, and when It had resurfaced 27 years later, he had gathered the Losers Club to fight It again, this time defeating It for good. However, defeating It had come with a price. This time, Stan hadn't made it back to Derry and Eddie hadn't made it to the end.

Ben glanced around the circle. Each of his fellow remaining Losers were, like him, puffy-eyed and tear-streaked. They had agreed to meet one last time on their way out of town -- Bill was heading back west with the new, 'happier' ending for the film that was being made out of one of his books. Mike had decided since It was really and truly gone that he was moving on to Florida. Richie was heading back to L.A. Beverly… Actually Ben didn't know exactly what Beverly's plans were. He knew she needed to go back to Chicago to 'wrap up some loose ends' but had no idea what her plans were beyond that.

It had taken 27 years, but Bev had finally figured out that Ben was the one who had written her the poem. Besides that underwater kiss at the Quarry though they hadn't discussed the poem or the fact that Ben had carried around the yearbook page that Beverly had signed in his wallet.

The Losers were currently holding an impromptu memorial service for Stan and Eddie before going their separate ways, and each had shared a memory about Stan and Eddie, respectively. Ben had gone first, then Mike, then Bill and Beverly, until finally it was Richie's turn as the last Loser to share. Ben listened with a chuckle as Richie reminisced about Stan's bar mitzvah, when Stan had basically told all of the adults in the congregation to go fuck themselves, and now he was about to say something about Eddie. Richie sniffled. "I have to tell you guys something."

The rest of the Losers waited patiently.

Richie took a deep breath. "I'm gay, and when we were kids I was in love with Eddie. I was head-over-heels in love with him, and I never got a chance to tell him before he moved away. Then we came back here and all my old feelings for him came rushing back like I was 13 again."

Ben placed a hand on Richie's shoulder and gave him a gentle squeeze. He could relate--well, not the being gay part, but being in love with someone and not directly getting to tell them how he felt before it was too late. Fortunately for Ben, however, he had a second chance.

January embers

He quickly glanced over at Beverly, who was watching Richie speak with fresh tears in her eyes.

"He saved us," Richie continued. "Telling us about choking the leper and making it small… if it hadn't been for him then none of us would've made it out. But Eddie deserved to make it out too. He deserved to live..." He broke down into sobs.

Ben and Beverly both moved to wrap Richie in a hug as he cried, and Mike and Bill placed encouraging hands on his back.

When Richie seemed to have calmed down somewhat, Ben asked, "You ok, man?"

Richie nodded. "Eddie should've been here celebrating with the rest of us. I never got a chance to tell him how I felt before he died, but I figure if I at least tell our best friends, it'll make not getting to tell him hurt just a little bit less."

He sighed. "Life is short -- I missed my chance with Eddie, but don't you guys pass up the opportunity to tell the ones you love how you feel."

With one final sniffle he wiped his eyes. "I made all those jokes about banging Eddie's mom when we were kids when really all I wanted to do was bang Eddie," he joked.

Ben couldn't help but smile.

Bill's phone went off with an alert. "Shoot, guys. I hate to cut this short but Richie and I have a flight back to L.A. in an hour."

"I should probably get going too," Mike added.

Ben and the rest of the Losers gave them each a brief hug. "We'll stay in touch this time," Bill promised as he gave Beverly a hug, and Ben couldn't help but feel a tiny pang of jealousy before chastising himself. Bill is your friend, you ass. What he and Beverly had ended long ago. Besides, Bill is happily married. Beverly was married too, but from what Ben had gathered he suspected it wasn't too happily.

He watched as Bill and Mike climbed up the ladder to the surface, followed soon by Richie. As Richie's footsteps faded, Ben could hear Beverly say, "I think he knew."

He turned to her. "What?"

Beverly gestured toward the ladder. "Eddie. I think he knew how Richie felt about him, and I think he felt the same way about Richie." She sighed. "They would've been happy together."

Ben nodded. "Yeah, I could see it too between them. The way they would look at each other when they thought the other one wasn't looking." That hit a little too close to home, he thought.

He cleared his throat before changing the subject. "Hey, can I ask you about something? Something personal. And it's ok if you don't want to talk about it, but…" he trailed off.

Beverly nodded and took a seat on the bench that Ben had made their sophomore year of high school, after Beverly had left and Ben started getting more into architecture in order to keep his mind occupied. She patted the spot next to her.

Ben took a seat and was silent for a few moments while he collected his thoughts. How do I go about this?

Finally, he decided that the direct approach would probably be best. "When we got here… back to Derry, I mean… I noticed bruises on your arm at dinner. Then when you flinched away from me… Is everything ok, Bev?"

Beverly paled and wouldn't make eye contact with Ben, instead choosing to look at the floor. "Tom… my husband… he wasn't very happy that I was leaving so suddenly," she explained. "We-- we got into a fight, and he-- he--" she broke off.

Ben stiffened. "Was that the first time?"

"No," Beverly whispered, then started crying. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Hey," Ben said gently, slowly reaching for Bev and giving her plenty of time to back away. Instead of rejecting his offer of comfort, however, Beverly leaned into Ben's embrace, allowing him to wrap his arms around her as her body wracked with sobs. "There's absolutely no need to apologize for anything. None of anything that you have gone through is your fault, okay? None of it. Not the shit we went through with Pennywise, or anything your dad or your husband put you through. You hear me? None of it was your fault and you have every right to be upset." Ben stroked Bev's hair soothingly as he held her. "You're safe with me, Bev. You're safe. I swear on my life that as long as I am breathing no one will ever harm you again."

Beverly hiccuped. "Thank you," she whispered, tightening her hold on Ben. "Thank you." She sniffled and leaned back to look at him face-to-face.

When they were kids Ben had thought that Beverly was a beautiful girl; now he thought that she was a beautiful woman. He wiped the tears from her face with his thumbs, letting his hands gently rest on her cheeks. "You deserve all the happiness in the world," he said, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead.

Beverly reached up to wrap her hands around Ben's. "I should have realized all those years ago that you were the one who wrote me the poem."

Ben tilted his head to the side. "How do you figure?"

Beverly smirked. "Bill's a great writer but he's no poet, Eddie and Richie were too busy arguing and making moony eyes at each other to be interested in anyone else, Stan probably either would've been too nervous to leave the note or would've 'fessed up almost immediately, and Mike was just trying to survive the summer-- I don't think he even thought of me as a girl at the time." She paused. "But you… you saw me, didn't you? You've always seen me. Your hair is winter fire," she recited. "January embers."

"My heart burns there too," Ben finished. "Still does. Always has in fact, although I didn't always quite remember why I was carrying around a yearbook page with only one signature on it."

Beverly smiled. "It's ok, New Kid," she said, then the next thing Ben knew Beverly was kissing him.

Their second (okay, technically third) kiss was even better than their first (okay, second). Considering the fact that Beverly was still in the Deadlights' thrall and wasn't even conscious for the first one as kids, Ben figured that shouldn't even count. Their first kiss as adults, shared under the dirty water of the quarry, paled in comparison to the feel of Beverly's lips on his own at that moment.

For a split second Ben thought maybe this was all another Pennywise-induced hallucination, then had the brief notion that maybe he had died in the battle and somehow made it to heaven instead of whatever hellscape Pennywise inhabited.

He realized it was neither when Beverly ran her fingers through his hair and gave it a slight tug, making him moan.

"Jesus, Bev," he muttered, pulling her into his lap and seeking permission to deepen the kiss.

Suddenly they heard a voice:

"It's about fuckin' time!"

They whipped their heads around to see Richie, Bill, and Mike, all watching them with shit-eating grins on their faces.

"What are you guys doing back here?" Ben asked as Bev giggled and buried her face in his neck.

Richie gestured to a now-blushing Bill. "Billy here forgot his wallet, so we came back down to get it. Didn't know we were gonna get a show as well."

"Beep beep, Richie," Bill said.

Richie ignored him. "So this is finally happening, huh? You two gonna ride off into the sunset together?"

Ben shrugged then looked at Bev, who was biting her kiss-swollen bottom lip to keep from laughing. "The man's got a point... What do you say? Come to Nebraska with me?"

Bev seemed to consider it for a few moments."I have a few things to take care of in Chicago first, so would you mind stopping off there on the way?"

"Bev, I'd follow you to the ends of the Earth and beyond if you asked me to," Ben said honestly.

Bev's answering smile made Ben fall just a little bit more in love with her.

"Okay, well, that's our exit," Bill, who had snuck over to the corner and retrieved his wallet from the table, said. "Come on, guys, let's leave them alone."

"Congratulations, you two," Mike said before heading back up the ladder.

"We'll see you guys again soon," Bill added before following.

"And remember," Richie yelled down as he disappeared out of sight, "practice safe sex!"

Ben shook his head fondly. "Richie is such an asshole."

"Yeah," Beverly agreed with a grin, "but he's our asshole."

"True." Ben bit his lip and slid his hands up Beverly's sides. "Now, were were we?"

Beverly smirked. "I believe about right here," she replied as she sought Ben's lips out once more.

#it: chapter 2 #it: chapter two #it: ch 2 #Post-film #benverly #ben x beverly #with a side of Reddie feels #tcmf writes

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