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#i really wish i had more patience to color
energon-goodies · 2 years
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you do not need to guess who my favorite OFMD character is lol
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meanbossart · 3 months
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Oh boy, VaM is kind of a trial and error experience LOL I couldn't really show you how to use the interface and stuff without a whole video or something, but it's not THAT difficult to get a hang of if you just give yourself a day or two to play around, not to mention the number of tutorials you find out there. Luckily, if you only want to use it as a reference software that makes the process far easier (to this day I have no idea how to animate on that thing, since that's not what I use it for)
As for how I use it, it's pretty self explanatory - if there's a complicated pose I want to draw but I'm either having trouble with it, or just want to double-check angles/anatomy, I will use it as a resource! I use for most of my "proper" pieces (y'know, the nicer looking ones) and every once in a while for my silly comics if I'm having trouble with a pose.
Lets use this drawing for example (the character on top of DU drow belongs to @namespara )
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I don't draw a lot of mud-wrestling (shocking, I know) but I had an idea of the kind of pose I wanted them to be in. So the very first thing I did was make a rough sketch of what I was envisioning:
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I often do a rough sketch first, even If I know I'm going to be pulling the program up because A) It's less tedious than adjusting the models over and over again until I pick a pose and B) because sometimes I'll decide I don't need the reference, after all, and so that's 30 minutes I'll have spared myself of playing around on the software.
Now, this is a pretty complicated pose! It's in a weird angle and the bodies are making contact in ways I'm not used to depicting, so I did choose to whip out VaM for this one. I went into the program and after some messing around, I flopped my little dolls together like this:
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Now something really cool about VaM is that you can completely customize your models, and if you have the patience, I would definitely encourage you to do so! Obviously, you don't have to make picture perfect replicas of every single character you have, but as you can see here I have made a DU drow "decoy" to help me better understand some of his features when I draw him: he has a strong brow, a short nose, a square jawline - these are all going to look a very specific way from certain angles, and I might not always be sure of how to draw it right! So it's useful to have models that bear SOME semblance to the character so you can better understand how different viewpoints will affect their bone structure and mass.
Also thank fucking god for the elf-ear slider. Figuring out how to draw those shits from certain angles was a huge pain in the ass when I started drawing DnD races.
So, with the reference in hand, I go over the sketch again:
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Now you may notice that I don't stick to the reference 100%. There's three reasons for this:
posing on VaM is tedious as hell. You can get something incredibly natural looking and picture-perfect to reference from if you wish, but it's going to take you hours to do. So, for the most part I just slap guys together until the results are "close enough" and use that.
In my opinion, you should always aim to ENHANCE your reference material, not replicate it exactly!
While VaM is a PRETTY DANG GOOD source of anatomical reference, it isn't perfect, I often supplement it with further reference from real life resources or make tweaks based on my own knowledge where I catch it falling short (and, antithetical to what I just said, I sometimes fuck the anatomy up further on purpose if I think it looks better that way LOL it's all jazz baby).
Then lines, color, yada yada. I don't have a tutorial on that and I don't think I could make one, because my process is chaotic as hell, but I do at times use Virt-a-mate as loose reference for lighting too when coloring - waaaaayyyy less so however, because that process is even more tedious and I feel like I often get better results by just winging it. It is a feature of the program though, and I'm sure it would be helpful for someone who has a difficult time visualizing lights and shadows. I only started using this program a few months ago, so I happened to already have a pretty good understanding of that kind of thing and just don't personally feel like I get much out of that particular mechanic.
Here's a few other examples of pieces that I made reference for (WARNING: Suggestive)
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Now, for the question many of you may want to ask:
"Can I trace this junk?"
And to that, I say: Buddy, you can do whatever the hell you want with the reference material you created.
However,
If your goal is to learn and improve your art, and to recreate realistic proportions and anatomy from memory, tracing won't help you.
Developing your own style, your muscle memory, and personal technique will all be hindered by choosing to trace instead of drawing from observation, so I would encourage against it. Hell - even when tracing is employed as a technique, it's usually by high-skill realism & concept artists who are looking to either cut some corners, save time, or just double-check their own proportions in order to improve further - if you try tracing as a beginner, you will most definitely find the result to still look stiff and "off".
So trust me, there is so much more to be gained from drawing from observation. Make note of tangents, compare proportions, use all the elements of the picture to dictate where and how things should go - it will be a far more rewarding experience.
Hopefully this has been helpful! VaM is a really cheap program (you get it on the guys' patreon for I think 8 dollars, just google it!) and it's definitely been worth my money as an artist since I found it. Learning to use it can be a little intimidating at first glance, but as I said above you only really need a day plus one or two tutorials to get a hang of the interface.
A fair warning though, IT IS A SOFTWARE MADE FOR VIRTUAL SEX/ADULT ANIMATION So when looking it up expect to see a some spicy content.
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goosita · 5 months
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first of all i love you. really. everything that you're writing is making my life so much better, so thank u <3 if that's okay for u, could you write something where reader is a single mom, she has a little girl and her daughter is very attached to billy? and it's the most sweetest thing ever cause billy loves her, calls her little princess (very sweet tooth 😭) one night, her daughter asks billy to read a storie for her to sleep and he does so and in the end, she says something like "i wish you were my dad" and it's just so cute and funny cause she gagged everyone, reader is like "babe!!!!" while billy is in shock but at the same time his heart is melting 🥺🥺 (sorry if this is too much, just write if u want!)
oh im. gonna cry and sob and piss everywhere this is the sweetest softest thing ive ever read yes oh my god
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billy would be so so sweet with your daughter, especially if she was around 4-6 years old. at first you were worried that a man like him wouldn’t want anything to do with a single mother, especially one as young as you. but he never asked you to explain, and never judged you for it. all he ever did was treat you like a queen, and your daughter like a princess.
and your little girl is just enamored with him. she follows after him like a little duckling, so much so that billy starts to call her “ducky”. it makes her giggle every single time, always makes billy smile all warm and fond. they get on like a house on fire, your man and your baby girl. billy teaches her things like how to ride a horse, how to tie all kinds of knots, how to rope a little goat even. your daughter tells you one evening, her little face very serious, that she thinks “billy knows everything, mama. everything!” you want to let her believe it for as long as possible.
on this particular day, all 3 of you had spent the day together. billy had showed up bright and early to take you for a picnic out in a meadow behind your house, a daylong excursion that lasted until the sun slowly set. it was late spring, cicadas beginning to sing in the tall grass. once it got dark outside, billy pulled out a jar and showed your daughter how to catch fireflies. once they had about 10 of them, they sat on the blankets with their heads ducked together to observe them, giving each one a unique name.
“let’s call this one tommy,” she says, pointing at a bug near the bottom.
“perfect name, ducky. how’d you get so good at this?”
your little girl giggles, shrugging and letting billy name the next one. it makes your heart so happy to see a man with so much patience and love for your daughter.
when you finally return to the house, it’s time to get your kid ready for bed. tired and pliant from her long day outside catching bugs and weaving flower crowns (that of course billy taught her how to do), she goes down without much of a fight. she does ask billy to stay and tell her a bedtime story, though, and he’s never been one to deny that sweet little face whatever she wants.
you half-listen as billy spins some wild tale about a princess who slay dragons herself, one who doesn’t need a prince to come and rescue her. she’s strong and brave and guess what? she looks just like your little girl, same hair color and little lilac colored dress. his story makes her smile, even as her sleepy eyes begin to blink more slowly. when he finishes, he leans down to kiss her forehead softly and tuck her blanket around her small little body.
“i wish you were my daddy,” she murmurs sleepily, rubbing her eye with one small fist. you see billy freeze and slowly look to you, unsure what to say.
“oh, baby—“ you start, taking a step forward. billy gently cuts you off, which you welcome, not sure what to tell her.
“you know, ducky, sometimes i wish that too,” he whisper conspiratorially. her eyes light up curiously.
“really?” she asks, looking up at him.
“mhm,” he says with a nod. “but i think this little thing we have going here is even more special. you know why?”
she waits for an answer, eyes full of curiosity and wonder at the man sitting on the edge of her bed.
“because i didn’t help to give you life, life gave you and me to each other. and that’s pretty special, don’t you think?”
your little girl smiles, nodding her head. you swallow hard, your eyes feeling a little misty at the way he loves your baby and she loves him. it’s so pure, so unconditional the way they’ve attached themselves to each other.
billy smiles at her and brushes her hair away from her face, giving her chubby cheek a soft caress.
“sweet dreams, baby girl.”
“goodnight billy,” she says with a little yawn, snuggling down into her pillow. billy blows out the oil lamp beside her bed, following you out of her bedroom and closing the door softly.
“i’m sorry if i overstepped, i didn—“ he’s cut off by you grabbing his face and pulling him down into a dizzying kiss. you smile against his mouth when he doesn’t hesitate for even a second to kiss you back, his arms winding around your waist to pull you closer.
“thank you,” you whisper when you finally break away for air. “for loving both of us, for taking care of us.”
“sweetheart, you don’t have to thank me for that. i’ll always be here to take care of my two best girls,” he says with a grin, tucking a lock of your hair behind your ear. “and who knows? maybe one day soon you’ll let me put a ring on that pretty little finger and that little girl in there can call me whatever she wants.”
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dfortrafalgar · 1 month
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Gift of Belonging
Luffy x GN Reader
Life didn't have a purpose without Luffy.
Warnings: Fic from my 100 followers poll!!! can be read as either platonic or romantic, mentions of self deprecating thoughts but nothing too severe, just some short, feel good, reassuring hugs from our favorite straw hat-wearing captain <3
Taglist: @bokutosbiceps | @luffy0s | @surgeonoffish
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You were at the end of your rope when you joined the straw hats, but who wasn’t?  You weren’t special in the grand scheme of the world’s most infamous pirate crew.  You couldn’t compare to the tumultuous lives of the rag-tag bunch that had quickly become your lifeline, you had nothing on being the child of an abusive royal family, or the last survivor of a decimated nation, or the unfortunate witness to the killing of a friend or parent, or a literal god.  You weren’t a cyborg or an animal or a reincarnated being hundreds of years old.  You were just… simple.
And yet, the Straw Hats made you feel accepted.
They made you feel wanted.
And no one had wanted you more than Monkey D. Luffy.
You still struggled to accept the boisterous boy’s words when he welcomed you aboard his grand ship.  You had put up an argument, insisting that you would only get in the way, that your strengths paled in comparison to the rest of the crew, that you had no business being a part of the inner circle of one of the Emperors.  But not a single eyelash was batted in the direction of your plight.  Simply endless stares of patience, waiting for you to finally bite the lure and climb up the gangway and officially join the Straw Hats.  And when you finally did, Luffy had said the words that had stuck with you since then.
“I don’t care who you are.  You’re special and you deserve a spot in my family.”
It was as if the world opened up around you for the first time.  Instead of seeing your surroundings in black and white, colors infiltrated your retinas in ways you had never experienced.  Suddenly, the sunshine that beat down on your skin felt like a pleasant hug from the world, rather than a punishing burn against your weary being.  Food you ate and drank every single day tasted extra good because it was always cooked with love and affection, the flirtatious cook not caring at all where you had come from.  Luffy and his crew made it known from the second they met you that you were deserving of love, respect, and friendship.
And you couldn’t lie… the first few days were overwhelming.
The Straw Hats were loving.  They were really loving, and their unique ways of showing they appreciated you were slowly building up in your veins like a disease until one night, when you were on watch, you cracked.
You broke down.
You sat on the stern of the Thousand Sunny, gazing out from the white-painted railings and over the vastness of the dark ocean and seamlessly blended in with the sky above you, the only light shining on you being from the twinkling stars millions of light years away.  Quiet, salty tears flowed down your cheeks, your shoulders clenched as you wrapped your arms around yourself, sniffling into the collar of your shirt.  You loved your crew, you really did.  You began to realize that you loved them more than you ever loved anyone else in your life, and that thought somehow scared you.  Like you were unprepared.  Like your heart had been so deprived of love for your whole life that the overabundance of it in such a short time caused your brain to short-circuit.  And you cried.  You weeped on the Sunny’s back deck, into the calmness of the night.
Until the sound of clopping flip-flops climbing the steps to where you sat alerted your attention, causing you to freeze up, holding your breath, wishing your tears could evaporate away.
“Hey, what are you doing up here alone?”  It was Luffy, his usually exuberant voice a rare form of calm as he approached you.  He wasted absolutely zero time in plopping himself onto the hard deck beside you, extending his legs and holding his arms out, hands behind his head.
You stayed hunched into yourself, trying to hide your shame in your hands.
“Hey… are you alright?” he asked, his voice somehow even softer.
A faint sniffle from you was all your captain needed to hear.  He sat up with a start and grabbed your shoulders with his calloused hands, yanking you around to face him.  Your eyes were wide with shock at his actions, but you stayed frozen.  It’s not like you could run anywhere, the man was made of rubber.
“Why are you crying?” he asked, his eyes narrowed and eyebrows furrowed, an intense stare that bored into your skin.  “Did someone say something to you?  Did someone hurt you?”
You shook your head, wiping your tears away on your arm.  You took a deep, shuddering inhale before finally forcing your shoulders to relax.  “No… no one said anything to me.”
“Then why are you crying?”
Luffy, despite not being overly emotional in normal circumstances, was scarily good at reading people.  It didn’t matter if you couldn’t outright say what was bothering you, he would eventually figure it out with that convoluted tunnel system of a brain.  His adorable lips curled into a pout as he analyzed your face, picking apart every twitch of your muscles.
You inhaled once more, turning your face away from him slightly.  “I’m just… not used to this.”
“Not used to what?”
His questions, and the feigned clueless tone of his voice almost made a smile crack onto your face.  Another talent of Monkey D. Luffy: he was like a wrecking ball for the walls you built up around yourself.
“I’m not used to… this.”  Your hands circled around you, gesturing to the ship, causing Luffy to finally drop his hands from your shoulders.  “Being a part of a crew.  You guys are… too nice to me.”
Luffy was ready with a response immediately.  “We could never be ‘too nice to you.’  That’s impossible.  We love you.”
Your lip quivered slightly.  “That’s what I’m not used to.”
“Being loved?”
There it was.  You feebly nodded.  “Yeah.  That.”
Your captain scooted across the deck closer to you, if that was even possible.  He was basically flush against you at this point.  He wrapped his arms around your shoulders, pulling you into a warm bear hug, his fluffy black hair tickling the skin of your cheek.  “We love you because you’re special to us, we don’t need a reason for that,” he described.  His voice faltered, as if he wanted to say something else, as if he was trying to add to his words.  Instead, he squeezed you into him, closing his eyes as he felt your muscles grow limp.  ‘We love you, but I love you more.’
“I just wish it was easier for me to accept that,” you whispered into his shoulder, struggling to hug him back.
Luffy’s embrace didn’t relent.  If anything, he tried to pull you in closer.  The force of his hug made you lose your balance on the floor, falling over on top of him, your chin hitting his shoulder.  But he still didn’t let up.  He held firm, squeezing you as if you would fade away into dust if he let go.
“Luffy–” you wheezed against his skin.
“What?”  He sounded completely oblivious.  “I’m going to keep hugging you until you don’t feel sad anymore.  No more crying,” he demanded.  “Captain’s orders.”  His last sentence held a hint of playfulness, the smile he surely wore on his face coming through the sound of his voice.
He must have been contagious, because your own grin slowly grew on your lips.  After what felt like hours, you finally reciprocated his hug, curling your arms under him and letting yourself finally relax in his embrace.  You knew Luffy had odd ways of showing he cared, but this was definitely unexpected.  Unexpected, but not necessarily unappreciated.  His presence emitted a warmth akin to summertime air, his existence like the calming breeze of the open ocean that wafted around you and circled you in comforting drafts.  Luffy never judged, never wavered, never ceased to let his crew, and now you, know how truly grateful he felt to be able to live his life with his favorite people.
You made a slight movement to stand up, but Luffy’s arms tightened their hold around your back.  “Not yet,” he grumbled.  “I don’t wanna stand up yet.”
“Is this how you comfort everyone on the crew?” you asked, your voice coming out muffled as you spoke into his neck.
“Hmm… not necessarily.  Everyone’s different.  Chopper really loves hugs, and Zoro lets me hug him, but sometimes Nami and Robin can take them or leave them.  Usopp likes hugs but doesn’t like to admit it.”  A smile crawled to your face as your captain rattled off the preferences of your fellow crewmates, the ways in which he perceived their unique and individual personalities bringing a comforting reassurance to your heart.  “I feel like you really like hugs, and you clearly needed one right now.”
You bit the inside of your lower lip, trying to bite back the tears that formed in the corners of your eyes.  The tension escaping your body dissipated in large waves, leaving you with nothing but warmth and comfort in the arms of the man who had surely saved your life.
And for the first time since officially joining the Straw Hats, you began to feel truly, unconditionally loved.  It was miraculous.  All it took was a single hug from the nicest, most selfless person you had ever met.
Someday, you’d be sure to return the favor for Luffy, even if he wouldn’t accept.
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Hello, sweetheart! I was wondering if you could do Alastor with an overlord reader? I was imagining reader having water based abilities and a blue theme to them! I also imagined the reader being a lot shorter than him (cause he’s like 7 feet tall).Like how would he react to reader being able to summon a tsunami and drowning a bunch of sinners, but being an absolute sweetheart at the same time! Please ignore this if you feel uncomfortable!
~Angel <3
hi angel!!! i can totally do that! thank you for your request and your patience on this!!!
i would love to do this! i’m doing this more in a head cannon/ficlet format, but i may come back to this to make a full fic.
i hope you enjoy!! ☺️
alastor first noticed how short you were. you were tiny
at least to him.
but he’s like 7 feet tall and you kept your human height of 5’2 when you descended to hell.
the second thing that he noticed were you were completely opposite of him
your color palette, your disposition and even the way you spoke were all opposites.
you had a mainly blue color palette. your hair was long and blue, your outfit flowy and not really structured, your eyes were the red that overlords though
you were rumored to be powerful but alastor had never seen any display of your power
you were happy and kind of go lucky, you and charlie were almost like two peas in a pod.
that was until one day, someone threatened the hotel and he wasn’t there.
Idiot sinners who thought they could beat the radio demon
it was the thought that if the radio demon wasn’t there, it would be fine as no one took charlie seriously.
and you wouldn’t let her dirty her hands on these… cretins
The fire balls soared through as they called out for Alastor. Everyone was running around trying to put out the fires and Alastor wasn’t around. He was in Cannibal Town today visiting Rosie. You sighed and closed your eyes. You made your way to the front ignoring the calls of your name and to watch out. You raised your hands and a shield of water surrounded the hotel. You walked out and stared at the sinners.
“Who are you bitch?” One asked. Looking there seemed to be about 30 sinners who made up this party.
“Yeah! Where’s Alastor?” Another asked, raising a molotov cocktail and getting ready to light it.
“Look, gentleman, why don’t you go back to wherever you came from and we can forget this ever happened.” You say, looking at all of them. There’s a beat of silence and then they all start laughing. You look annoyed and the one who seemed to be the leader spat at your feet.
“Like hell, bitch. Be a good girl and get Alastor.” He said laughing again.
“Oh, you’ll wish you got Alastor.” You said, bringing your hands together and then throwing them in a down motion to the ground. Suddenly chains appeared on all of the sinners. Their eyes widened and the leader started to struggle. You smiled as you reached your hand towards him and he flinched thinking you were going to grab him, but then all of a sudden you closed your fist. The group looked at you confused until the water that held them where they were at started to boil.
You raised your left hand up and the boiling water started to encase their legs slowly. You looked at the leader and smiled.
“Wanna make a deal? I’ll end this pain right now, you give me your soul, never come to this hotel again and are at my beck and call whenever I feel like it. You will do anything I ask of you. Do we have a deal?” You grinned as he cried out his confirmation.
You stopped the water from boiling and proceeded to make the same deal with all 30 sinners, they scampered off afterwards and you let down the shield on the hotel. You looked to your left and saw Alastor there, his eyes wide and his grip on his cane tight. Rosie next to him, grinning.
“Oh hey!” You said nonchalantly.
alastor is enamored
you a little thing so sadistic that you get 30 sinners to make a deal with you at once?
he’s not sure if he truly feels threatened or admired you.
rosie adores you
you shock alastor again when another group of sinners come to the hotel and you don’t even walk outside
the only thing heard is a rumbling, a crash and then quiet. everyone looks outside and sees a tsunami drowning a larger group of sinners than before.
everyone looks at you sitting at the bar, complimenting pentious’ drawing and him beaming at your compliments
you were such a sweetheart but you were terrifying
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tyinghershoe · 10 months
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hey hey :) i love ur writing sm!! i was just wondering if u could do a small blurb or fluff fic of what its like to wake up with izuku, like i can just imagine his bed head and how cute and soft it would be
ੈ✩‧₊˚ Wishful Dreaming
Waking up next to Izuku was as soft as his morning kisses.
Pairing: Izuku Midoriya x reader
Genre: Fluff
check out my masterlist!
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Izukus' blessing from the higher spirits came tangled in between blue-colored sheets. Everything he ever wanted was in the shape of a twin-sized mattress, and everything he ever needed slept on top of it. It was far too early in the morning, but still, the arms that intertwined with his own awakened him with nothing but patience and love. 
He knew that heaven existed between these four walls - that the only thing separating the boy from reality and divinity was the angel sleeping next to him. So he smiled as he kissed you good morning, something that is necessary when lying next to a beauty such as yourself. 
“Wake up.” He whispers as the softness he feels in his heart spilled in between every syllable. “We need to wake up.” 
Unfortunately for him, it was a Saturday, which meant that you’d do everything you can to stay under these covers for just a few more minutes. What’s the point of waking up and getting out of bed? You’d rather stay right here, wrapped up in him as he kissed you every 5 and a half minutes.
With a sigh, he slowly twists and turns so that he could see you at a better angle. If you’re going to be spending the rest of the morning in this nest, he should at least see you perfectly, this wasn’t hard to do though - you were perfect in every angle. 
After lounging around a moment - 11 minutes to be exact, or 2 kisses if you use that measurement -  you opened your eyes. Now it was you who felt lucky. 
A lazy little smile was the first thing you saw, then it was his eyes, then his dark green hair which was always a mystery to you. Green, untamed, and everywhere - That’s how he’d describe his bedhead. His curls stuck out in every which way, some darker than others as the sun made fun of his frizzy state. However, this was merely an illusion, your lover's hair was as soft as his touch (he thanks your strawberry-scented conditioner for that.) 
“Hi. Good morning y/n.” He blurbed lazily, words splattering into each other as his heart clenched at the sight in front of him. Dearest, he thought, You looked so beautiful. 
You replied with a simple hum, deciding that this moment would be better in your silence, his voice had the effect of putting you back to sleep anyways. He chuckled as he saw your eyelids slowly close and then jerk back open, it was clear that you were fighting the urge to get pulled back into your dreamlike state. He wouldn’t mind really, but he was feeling exceptionally selfish today, and he wanted to talk to his lover. 
“‘Zuku..” You began, “Please just 16 and a half more minutes.” - which means 3 more kisses, but he didn’t know about his unconscious habit that was kissing you in rhythm. 
Izuku sat still for a few seconds and then slowly pulled himself closer to you, thanking his twin-sized mattress for once again being the perfect size. “Only because you asked so nicely.” He sighed, and then he kissed your temple, starting the timer.
-
a/n. Hello, it's been a long time since I last visited this blog (half a year!). In all honesty, I didn't know time could move so fast, but I guess this blog is a reminder of that. Sorry everyone, things just caught up to me - but I'm writing again, so I hope to post frequently on this blog.
follow me on ao3! @tyinghershoe
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onlymingyus · 4 months
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Tied to your Body (Patreon Exclusive Teaser)
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pairing; kim mingyu x f reader
genre; smut (minors dni), fluff (somehow)
warnings; TA!Mingyu, University Student!Reader, Camboy!Mingyu, Professor Joshua Hong (that's a warning), eating/drinking, alcohol, masturbation (m & f), lots of dirty talk, masturbation on stream, pictures taken and sent of dick/pussy, talk of sexual health, aftercare, Dom!Mingyu, sub!reader, Dom/sub dynamics, color system, subspace, dumbification, praise, pet names, degradation, crying, spitting on pussy, fingering, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex, cum eating, some light impact play -- I think that is everything.
w/c; 13.3k and some change (1.4 k this teaser)
a/n; I love camboy love sick Mingyu. thank you to @onlyhuis for betareading this for me! a huge thank you to @onlyseokmins for making the instagram graphics for me! thank you for your patience in waiting for this one. I really needed this break.
this fic is a Patreon Exclusive subscribe to my Patreon and click here
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Running the back of your pen along your bottom lip, you sigh, finally leaning back from your desk. You had been looking at the same page of your physics textbook for an hour. It felt like your brain was beginning to feel like jello. A familiar ding from your cellphone made you bite down on the end of your pen as you reached for the phone, the corners of your lips pulling up into a slight smirk. 
ariespic_46 is live
You tried not to waste your money. It was hard enough to be a college student and to share an apartment instead of living in a dorm but sometimes spoiling yourself was important. It was hard enough trying to balance a part-time job and a full-time course work schedule; you rarely found time to go to parties and the relationship pool was limited. 
You had dated during your time at the university but it had been brief and no one had ever kept your attention for longer than a month. Over time, classes became more important and you found other ways to find pleasure, even if it cost you a few extra bucks a month to indulge in. 
Opening your laptop, you find yourself entranced by the man on your screen as he smiles, leaning back in his chair. He never showed anything above his nose. You wished you could see his entire face. With as handsome as he was from the nose down, you were drooling over this camboy almost daily. 
As ariespic_46 lets out a breath, you find yourself doing the same as you lay on your side on your bed in the dark. He was dressed in some tan dress pants, a white button up that was already unbuttoned down to the top of his abs, the sleeves pushed up to his elbows. He looked like a dream. You couldn’t help but look over every detail that you were privy to. He had the cutest freckle on the end of his nose and sharp canines that he bit down into his bottom lip with when he was especially horny, like now. 
“Hi pups. I missed you.” 
A small squeak slips from your lips when the man finally talks. He was such a tease. He would sometimes just sit there for minutes while the chat went crazy, asking for things, just his biceps flexing as he stretched out his fingers in clear amusement at how needy the chat was. 
“Aw, you missed me too, didn’t you? That’s cute.” 
The man leans his head back and you try to move your head so you can see more of him but as usual, it's in vain. He had his camera set up for this. He didn’t want his face fully on the screen and while you could respect it, you were still curious. 
“It was a long day. You have no idea. I’m all wound up... Having to be this professional in front of others while I think about doing this later. God…” The man grins, his canines on display, as he lifts his hips, undoing his dress pants. “And then the teasing I put up with on a daily fucking basis. I don’t think she even realizes she’s doing it.” 
You furrow your brows. He talked about some girl on his streams sometimes. You didn’t mind; no one seemed to. It got him even more excited to think about this girl who teased him during the day. You wondered what it would be like to be her—to be the one on his mind all day and night. The one that made him want to wrap his hand around his thick cock and stroke it until he came so hard. You imagine you are her sometimes; he makes it easy for you to, with how he talks to the stream. 
“Wanna put you on your knees in front of me for teasing me like that?" 
Watching ariespic_46 closely, your eyes follow as he kicks his pants somewhere off the screen. The man smirked, leaning back in his chair, knowing eyes were on him. He could see the viewer count and it never disappointed him. Your eyes were moving over the bit of his chest that was exposed as his fingers undid the rest of his shirt, leaving him in his dress shirt and briefs as a long, sighing groan slipped from his lips. 
“Can’t help but think how pretty you’d look if you were. So fucking pretty every day and acting so innocent like you don’t realize I’m looking at you.” 
You sigh, your bottom lip jutting out, as the man talks to the girl through you and the other viewers. You feel a bit of shame as you run your fingers along your stomach and play with the tie of your pajama pants but it’s not enough to stop you. 
Glancing at the comments, you can’t help but agree with a few of them, saying they’d never ignore him. You couldn’t imagine ignoring someone like ariespic_46, not on purpose. There was no one who went to your university who came close to looking like him. 
When the man wraps his fingers around his cock for the first time, you have to close your eyes to the sound that slips out between his pretty lips. You loved the sounds he made. He never tried to keep them quiet or to himself. He just let them be as erotic as possible and it made you drip around your fingers that were now slowly sliding through your folds. 
“Are you being a good girl for me? My pretty little pup? Are you gonna cum for me when I cum tonight?” 
Whimpering, you nod even though he can’t see you. You weren’t one who took the time to comment while he touched himself and spoke. You knew he wouldn’t recognize names from chat anyway. He did, however, acknowledge tips and that you did when you let yourself think with your pussy more than your brain. 
“Mm, thank you, Nabi.” 
Hearing part of your username on ariespic_46’s lips as he moans, pre-cum slipping over his fingers, makes you press your lips together. You hadn’t sent him much—just $30—but for a student, that was more than you should be spending on porn. 
Pressing your nose against your arm, you adjust yourself on the bed, watching the man groan louder as he got closer to his climax. You had started to be able to tell when it was going to happen. The way his mouth fell open, the way his groans got more urgent and drawn out, his fingers of his right hand gripping the arm of his chair for dear life as he stroked himself through his climax with his left. 
Most nights when you watched his streams, you would end up doing exactly what ariespic_46 wanted and cum soon after he had but other nights, like tonight, you would end up panting as your thighs pressed together out of need. You knew there was always more, even as the man on the screen laughed, stretching his fingers out to show the camera all the cum dripping from him. 
"Fuck, that was good. I have to get cleaned up. Bye, baby. See you next time.” 
The stream stated it had ended, and you find yourself on your back with your phone in one hand, waiting for what came next. Not only did you tip because it made you feel good to hear even your username on the man’s lips but also for what he would give you. A notification stating you had a direct message from ariespic_46 pop’s up at the top of your screen and you find yourself giggling like a teenager getting a message from a crush. 
ariespic_46: have a good night, nabi 🦋 thank you🖤 [picture attached] 
Staring at the message for a moment, you bite at your bottom lip before your thumbs move over the keyboard to reply. You knew you didn’t have to, and that he probably didn’t check replies but it felt important to you. 
nabi.wings: anytime, thank you for the stream ❣️
Taking a breath, you finally press down on the link for the picture, only to moan at the sight. It was one thing to see his cock and fingers covered in cum on the stream but it was another entirely to see it in a picture like this. Now was when you couldn’t help but let your fingers wander lower. Now you could let yourself let go of any shame you were feeling before and just let yourself pretend for a little while that he had cum this much for just you. 
READ THE FULL FIC ON PATREON HERE
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© onlymingyus - all rights reserved. Reposting/modifying of any fic, or pieces of original writings posted on this blog is not allowed. Translations not allowed
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bonniepop · 3 months
Text
character: akaashi keiji words: 700+ warnings: parenthood & special children. drama & comfort. notes: when i did a quick recap of all the fics i wanted to repost, this came at me out of nowhere, mostly because i forgot i wrote it, but also holy hell i wrote this? (i also rewrote it.)
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your eyes are wet and swollen, your back pressed against the side of the bathtub as you sit on the floor. once upon a time, you looked at this place with dreamy eyes and excitement—this bathroom is so beautiful, this house is gorgeous, it’s perfect for us—but lately, you’ve been seeing the inside of it through a teary, pained gaze. it’s ruined for you.
i guess all this really was too good to be true, you tell yourself miserably, heat pricking the back of your eyes once again. you curl further into yourself and press your forehead over your knees, tears dripping down your thighs and soaking your shorts.
you don't know how long you sit there, but eventually, the bathroom door opens, and your husband steps in. “hi,” you hear akaashi say softly, “she’s asleep now.”
you don't move. the door shuts and you feel his warmth settle next to you.
you're both quiet for a time.
“you’re so good with her,” you say, voice wet and sticky, heavy in your mouth. “you're so... i’m so fucking terrible compared to you.”
akaashi doesn’t say anything.
“maybe…” you gasp against your knees, “maybe if i carried her to term—”
“hey, no,” he says softly, lifting one of his hands to tug at your elbow. “don’t say things like that.”
you press your lips shut and turn your head to meet his eyes, and you find him looking at you with so much compassion, so much patience, that you feel your heart fall to your stomach.
"say things like what?" you ask him sadly, voice cracking. “that i'm a bad mother? that i can't do it? that i can’t even carry a normal baby?”
the moment the words leave your mouth, you regret them. your eyes widen and your lip trembles. “keiji, i—i'm sorry, i didn’t mean—”
“it’s not your fault,” he says, voice louder, a little rougher, but never angry. he tugs a little more firmly on your elbow, and you let him take it. “it’s not your fault. we—we’re doing what we can, we’re not—you’re not a bad mother, and she’s not a bad child. she’s just… different.”
she’s just different, the phrase repeats in your head, hollowly bouncing around as keiji pulls you into his arms. you’ve heard it many times before. it’s not her fault she screams the way she does; it’s not her fault she can’t stand anything that has the color blue; it’s not her fault she needs to eat at exactly 4:30pm when she comes home from school everyday. it’s the way she is. she can’t help it.
“what if i’m not good enough to handle different?” you tell him, heart breaking, head leaning on his chest. you start to hiccup through your tears. “i love her, i love her so much, but… keiji, what if i… what if i’m not a bad mom, but i’m a bad mom to her?”
he shakes his head, gently stroking your hair. “you’re not, because you’re thinking about how to be a good one,” he tells you softly, other arm coming around your shoulders.
after a long moment of silence, you speak again. it's a little laborous, pulling your lips apart to speak because you've been crying so much. “you’re so good with her. how… you have so much patience, and i…” you cut yourself off with a sniffle. "i don't know how you do it."
akaashi sighs. “it's... i don't know. i wish i had an answer."
you pull away and meet his gaze. the hand in your hair drifts to your other hand and he takes it in a gentle squeeze.
“i’m not perfect, either,” he murmurs gently, letting go of your hand to tuck your hair behind your ear.. “no one’s perfect at this. there’s no manual to handling a child with autism, love. we just have to be patient, and love them, and remember what they like and don’t like.” he kisses your forehead. “you love her, don’t you?”
“of course,” you answer truthfully, and sniffle. he takes your hand again, his thumb brushing your skin so delicately, so lovingly. “i love her so, so much, but i’m so… i’m so scared i’m doing her a disservice.”
“you’re not. you’re not, my love. please believe me.” he presses the back of your hand to his mouth. “what matters is that we try.”
you let go of his hand and wrap your arms around his waist, the side of your thigh falling on top of his legs. “i love you, keiji,” you tell him earnestly, desperately. “i’m sorry i’m being so difficult.”
“you aren’t,” he answers, but you know it’s automatic, because your husband is the kindest of souls and you are the most selfish of people.
you press yourself closer to him. “still, i was acting like a child. we're supposed to be partners, but instead i made things harder on you. i'm sorry.”
he presses a kiss to your forehead, and the hand that was on your shoulder now strokes your hair. “i forgive you,” he says against your skin. “i love our little family, imperfect as it is. i’d hate to see it fall apart.”
your eyes water and your mouth trembles and your heart squeezes with love. if there’s anything you’d go to the ends of the earth for, it’s keiji’s happiness.
fortunately, you don’t have to go that far. you can start in your daughter’s room.
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rebelliousstories · 1 month
Text
Ten Thousand Candles
Kiss Me You Animal
Relationship: Cooper “The Ghoul” Howard x Zylia “The Freak” Shelley
Fandom: Fallout
Request: No
Warnings: Fluff, Strong Language, Mentions of Death and Killing
Word Count: 711
Main Masterlist: Here
Fallout Masterlist: Here
//Chapter Two//
Kiss Me You Animal Masterlist: Here
Summary: Cooper is not too sure if he is impressed or fed up with this new girl. Probably both.
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Have you ever seen someone who just looks like if you say the wrong thing, no matter how small, they would hurt you and everyone in the immediate vicinity? That was Cooper Howard right now. He was tearing through the town faster than a bat out of hell, trailing after a girl. Why was he following this girl? Because just a few minutes ago they met, as she stole his bounty that she was now cashing in on.
Walking into town, he just caught the trail of the unearthly colored hair disappearing into the shop where the bounty originated. He gritted his teeth, and waited outside until she was to return. Cooper found a rocking chair, and waited. He was a patient man, and that was being put to the test as he sat there. Most people passed by him without so much as a glance, but others took one look at him and scurried away. It did not much matter to him anymore. He had two hundred years to come to terms with his new state.
Seeing her white hair come through the door, he took note and noticed her shoving something in her bag. He stood up slowly, marching his way up to her while she was distracted.
“Well, gotta say, sure as shit been a long time since someone stole my bounty from right under me.” Howard drawled, almost jovial in his speech. The woman’s head whipped up to see The Ghoul in front of her once more.
“Maybe you shouldn’t be so slow then, Ghoulie.” She teased, finding joy in annoying him.
“I wasn’t slow,” he growled, “you were just a sneaky little minx who can’t keep her sticky fingers away from what’s not hers.” Cooper stepped closer to the woman, assessing whether or not he needed to draw his gun. But she just laughed.
“That ain’t how I remember it.” The still unknown woman got even closer to Cooper, and toyed with the edge of his jacket. He snatched it away, and stepped away with a flourish.
“Now, only time Imma tell you. Give me the caps that you got paid for my bounty, and we’ll be on our way.” His hand rested on his pistol while the other was outstretched.
“And if I don’t give you my caps for my bounty?” She replied, brushing a hand through her hair nonchalantly.
“I’d hate to kill someone as pretty as you now darlin’.” Cooper smiled, and hoped she would do the right thing. As she stood there, contemplating, The Ghoul was steadily losing his patience. She came closer and closer to his outstretched gloved hand, until it was resting right against her stomach. Sifting through her bag, she placed a singular bottle cap in his hand and closed his fingers around it.
“For you troubles. Name’s Zylia, by the way. Next time don’t be so slow.” The now named woman patted Cooper on the shoulder, and began to walk away from him. However, he had different plans. Howard stood there with the cap in his hand, and a million thoughts running through his head. Pocketing the cap, he turned to where Zylia was walking away.
“Do you have a death wish?” He called, making her stop for a brief moment. Even from all this distance, the pink eyes she held pierced his very soul.
“Maybe. What’s it to you?” Zylia responded, toying with a strand of hair.
“Do you know who I am?” Cooper questioned again, fully turning his body to face her.
“No. Should I?” Once more, his patience was being tested. Cooper moved his duster out of the way and rested a hand on his pistol that was still holstered.
“Little girl, I’m really not in the mood for this. Give me the caps.” He repeated, fully ready for a shoot out.
“Little girl? Well, I might be little, but not young enough to be a girl. I’m just gonna be on my way if that’s alright with you, Ghoul.” Again, Zylia turned around and began to walk away from the man. He chuckled softly, before drawing his pistol and aiming it at the girl.
It all happened in a flash, but the sound was one that was an everyday occurrence in the Wastelands.
Bang!
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cottonlemonade · 3 months
Text
Actions Have Consequences
word count: 729 || avg. reading time: 3 mins.
pairing: post-time skip Daichi x chubby!Reader
genre: smut, established relationship
warnings: mdni, nsfw
synopsis: Daichi is having a day at work and you’re not helping
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He had spent the day running after the new recruits, trying to get them to behave and properly put away their gear, but they didn't take anything seriously and so most of the morning and afternoon was filled with face palms, exasperated sighs and desperate wishes for a quick end to his suffering.
So, to cheer him up, you had sent him uplifting messages throughout, ranging from venting along with him to sweet encouragement to promises of a delicious dinner and a new episode of your favourite show waiting when he came over after work but nothing seemed to really help.
And so, towards the early evening you tried something a little different and sent him a picture. It was innocent enough, you were sitting on your bed, in a cream-colored, silky nightgown you knew he loved, smiling angelically into the camera, showing just enough cleavage that it still could be considered an accident.
He smiled at the photo and told you he missed you.
You then took it a little further. The next picture he got a few minutes later showed you now lying on the bed playing with the strap of the nightgown, still that adorable smile playing on your lips.
He had to swallow when he saw that one, knowing exactly where it would lead and he was not pleased that you were teasing him while he was still dealing with the rookies.
He told you to have patience and to wait for him, promising to make you feel good as soon as he was done.
When Daichi’s phone buzzed in his pocket a third time, he expected you urging him to hurry, maybe even a little neediness, telling him how much you wanted him. What he didn't expect was a picture of his barely dressed girlfriend on her bed, biting her lip with her hand somewhere he very much had forbidden her to go without his permission.
Daichi: You better not be doing what I think you're doing, princess.
You: What if I am?
He felt himself grow harder at the thought of your gorgeous figure in your big bed, enjoying yourself. The silk hugging your delicious curves just right and your hard nipples pushing sinfully against the fabric.
But not without him. Especially not today.
"Are you alright, lieutenant?", one of the rookies asked, looking concerned.
"Yeah, I'm fine." Daichi’s voice was more tense than he would have liked.
Having to leave you on read he tried to resume the training, but was so distracted that he asked a colleague to take over. The rest of his shift he spent at his desk, glad that the wood of the table was disguising his own, counting the minutes until he could leave.
When it was time, Daichi quickly grabbed his jacket and keys and jogged out of the building to his car.
The harsh rap on your door was enough for you to know who it was. You jumped out of bed and purposely slowly made your way to the front door.
You couldn't resist to call out, "Who is it?"
Your boyfriend's low voice came from the other side.
"I swear to god, babygirl, if you don't open up in the next five seconds, you're not gonna walk for a week."
You suppressed a chuckle as you unlocked the door.
He had his hand resting against the frame and a hungry look on his face when he pushed you inside, closing the door with his foot, pressing you up against the opposite wall.
His kisses were rough and sloppy and you could feel the outline of his already hard cock straining against his pants, making you smirk into the kiss.
"You know the rules, princess.", his voice was calm, but he licked his lips as his eyes bored into yours.
"Yes, I do."
His hands cupped your breasts through the thin fabric of your nightgown. You hummed.
"Yes what?", he murmured.
"Yes, sir."
Daichi rarely got like this. Usually when you made love it was sweet and passionate. But every once in a while the stress got to him and he got needy and rough. Impatient.
He dragged his lips across your exposed neck, grinding his thigh between your legs and giving your plump ass a tight squeeze.
When you started to moan, he stopped and looked at you again.
"On your knees, princess."
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bookworm551 · 1 year
Text
Of Duty and Desire | Chapter 5 | Neteyam x Metkayina!reader
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A/N: sorry this took so long!!!! I wish I had a good excuse but really it was just writers block. Anyways, I appreciate your patience, I love you all <33
Word Count: 6.8k words
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 6 Epilogue
When you woke up the next day, you had a few blissful seconds where everything felt normal. You stretched as the light reflected on your face, and you enjoyed the sounds of the village waking up for a moment. Then, the memories of the previous night hit you all at once, and all the guilt came rushing back.
Memories replayed in your head over and over again. His hungry lips trailing down your neck, your eager hands pulling him close, the sound of your heavy breathing echoing around you. It was like a dream that never should have come to life.
You ran your hands over your face. This was not good. You thought you could still be friends, that you could maintain some form of friendship with him, but last night was clear evidence that it wasn't possible. Being alone with him, seeing him with the blue-green cast of colors on his face, and hearing him say how much he wanted to be with you had all been too much for you to think and act rationally.
Now, you had to get up and go about your day pretending as if nothing had happened. And that's exactly what you did.
You threw yourself into your chores, doing everything in your power to distract yourself from the night before. You even asked Ronal for more work when you finished your chores in record time. It was terrible for you to look her in the eye knowing that if she found out about last night, she would unleash a flood of fury on you.
Everything was going relatively smoothly up until late in the afternoon when Aonung found you on the beach mid-errand. "I've been looking for you," he stated as he came up behind you. You looked up at him in alarm, your heart speeding up anxiously. "Oh?" you managed to reply quietly, trying to appear unfazed by his presence.
"I am about to leave with Rotxo and the others," he explained. "There is still time for you to join if you'd like." The anxious tension in your chest subsided somewhat at his question. You had forgotten that he and the others were planning on going hunting, even though they had talked about it just last night. You also remembered that Neteyam had also been invited to go as well.
Forcing a smile, you replied, "Thank you, but I think I will stay inside the sea wall today." Aonung shrugged casually. "Very well," he said. "We'll be back by eclipse." You nodded and watched him walk off, taking a breath to steady your heart.
You needed to figure out some way to reconcile what had happened between you and Neteyam, but you didn't know what to do. You knew how upset Aonung would be if you confessed what you had done with Neteyam and how you felt about him. You knew how upset Ronal would be if she knew that you were in love with someone other than her son. To stay silent would mean you would be eaten up by guilt, but to speak would surely mean severe consequences.
You wouldn't mind facing the repercussions of your actions. In fact, you felt that you should, but you hesitated out of fear of what would happen to Neteyam. If you were to be in trouble, you still had some level of protection through Ronal's connection with your mother, but with Neteyam, there was no doubt that your mentor would be angry enough with him to try something as drastic as excommunication. You would never be able to forgive yourself if he had to face punishment like that.
Shaking yourself from your thoughts, you headed back to the village. You returned to distracting yourself through work, braiding, weaving, and organizing anything you could find. You hadn't even realized the hours that had flown by until you stepped outside to go diving for sea grass.
You had initially planned on swimming out to the edge of the sea wall on your own, but now, you considered taking an ilu. Glancing at the sky, you figured you had less than an hour before eclipse. After deliberating for a moment, you decided that it was enough time for you to gather what you needed without one. As much as you enjoyed riding, swimming on your own was more relaxing.
Swimming out to the edge of the sea wall, you became distracted from your thoughts by the graceful creatures darting around you. Nothing cleared your mind from plaguing thoughts better than floating in the warm water while the glowing dots and stripes of the sea animals swirling around you.
You swam down to the sea floor where the sea grass swayed lazily with the movement of the water. You began pulling up the grass from its roots, tying each bundle tightly before placing it in your pouch. While you were gathering, you were blissfully unaware of a creature nestled in the grass around you.
Reaching for another handful of grass, you touched the fin of what you quickly learned was a viper ray. Defensive and vicious, viper rays typically avoided the reef and rarely came in past the sea wall. Though they were beautiful to watch, being so close to one was dangerous. Their venomous sting had been known to kill Na'vi in the past, and even if it wasn't fatal, it was definitely a very painful experience.
Your touch startled the hiding creature. Faster than you could process, the viper ray whipped around and slashed its thick tail at you, swiping across your ribs.
You immediately flinched and released much of the air you were holding. The pain was immediate, a deep burning sensation that outweighed any sort of injury you had ever experienced. The viper ray darted away back into the grass, leaving you clutching your side as you felt you air supply depleting. Desperately, you began kicking towards the surface as quickly as you could.
When you broke above the water, you gasped in pain. You instinctively clutched at your side, the sting burning like a fire across your body. You looked back at the village, a decently long swim even without being injured. You cursed at yourself for not bringing an ilu. Now, you had no idea how you would get back on your own.
Still, you began kicking towards the beach, your breathing too fast and frantic to dive back down again. From the corner of your eye, you saw movement. Turning your head, you made out several figures in the distance on skimwings leisurely heading back to the village. Blinking through the pain, you recognized the people passing by as the group of your friends who had gone hunting earlier. They must have just returned.
In the dying light, you could make out Neteyam and Aonung side-by-side on their skimwings. Pain was coursing through your side as your breathing came in shallow breaths. You finally managed to inhale enough to call out as loudly as you could, "Neteyam!"
He must have heard your voice because his head immediately whipped around to find you. After a moment, he spotted your bobbing form in the water and swiftly moved to where you were floating.
What took less than a minute for him to cross over to you felt like an eternity with the viper ray venom coursing through you. You were grimacing in pain, the salt water causing your sting to burn even worse. Already, you were feeling the fatigue that came with viper ray stings.
"What's wrong?" Neteyam asked in concern, noticing your face contorted in pain. Right behind him, Aonung came up to you on his skimwing. "I've been stung," you managed to gasp as you struggled to stay above the water. "Viper ray."
Neteyam's face shifted from concern to panicked realization. He had heard the stories of the infamous creature and knew the potentially fatal effects it had. Aonung, too, realized the severity of your injury. "She needs to go to my mother now," he told his friend urgently.
Both boys jumped off of their mounts to take you, and you reached a weak hand out to Neteyam. He took it and pulled you over to his skimwing. You wrapped your arms around his neck, squeezing your eyes shut and resting your head on his chest as he hoisted the two of you onto the back of his skimwing.
Your breathing came in sharp gasps as you took off towards the village. In your mind, your thoughts were growing hazy, and it became difficult for you to understand the reassuring words Neteyam was whispering in your ear. Everything was blurring, and the only thing that somewhat distracted you from the pain in your side was the comfort of Neteyam's arms holding you tightly.
You didn't realize it at the time, but the rest of the hunting party that Neteyam and Aonung were with had noticed the two of them speeding off toward the village and quickly followed suit. When you reached the beach, they all pooled around you to figure out what was happening.
"Find Ronal," Neteyam told the group of them as he carefully slid you off of his skimwing. They all hesitated for a moment, recognizing you curled up in pain in his arms.
"What happened to—,"
"Now," Neteyam snapped, his composure cracking over the panicked desperation he was fighting. The group of hunters scattered across the village, but Aonung remained behind in the water with the two of you.
"Let me take her," he told Neteyam, reaching for your form resting in his arms, but he didn't let you go. "I've got her," he said sharply, wading through the water quickly. Aonung was taken aback somewhat, but he didn't press it since he didn't want to waste precious time arguing.
It wasn't long before Ronal came rushing out to meet you all on the beach. She took a moment to assess you, feeling how your skin was growing unusually warm. "Come quickly," she told Neteyam urgently as she moved back to her pod.
Neteyam stepped after her towards the village. You were groaning in pain, your vision coming in and out of focus. You were still aware of the fact that you were in his arms, but your thoughts were becoming increasingly disorganized. You had felt his strong arms around you before, but when? You had been upset about him earlier, but why?
You tried to focus, but the pain radiating from your ribs made it impossible for you to think clearly. Still, in your cloudy mind, you had a lingering memory of something scandalous.
"What are you doing here?" You mumbled quietly to Neteyam, your speech slurring a little bit. He looked down at you for a second before replying, "You are hurt, and you need help." You groaned again as if to prove his point and turned your face into his chest. "It's okay," he soothed in a low voice, "I will take care of you."
When you had made it to Ronal's tent, Neteyam set you down carefully on the mat. He stayed by your side while Aonung crouched on your other side. Ronal quickly set to work, pouring water over your sting and wiping away the bleeding. You hissed in pain as she inspected the gash in your side.
Grabbing Neteyam's arm tightly, you cried out through clenched teeth, "It burns." He ran a soothing hand over your forehead. "I know it does," he replied, trying to keep his voice calm for you and failing miserably. "You'll be okay." Your breathing was labored as you looked up at his with glassy eyes. "Every day, it burns," you murmured. "How can I stop it, Neteyam?"
Neteyam's heart ached. You weren't just talking about your sting. Your words were echoing what you had said the previous night. It had been weighing on Neteyam the whole day. He had been unable to shake your words from his mind, and he replayed the memory of kissing you over and over again. He would never forget the blissful moment you shared, but he could never forget the look of horror and heartbreak on your face when you had realized what you had done. It burned, indeed.
"What is she saying?" Aonung asked sharply, staring at Neteyam's longing face with suspicion. He looked up at him, pulled from his thoughts, and said dismissively, "She's hallucinating."
"I don't want to stop it," you whispered in a breathy voice. "I wish it could be real." Neteyam tensed at your words and prayed that you would stop talking in front of Ronal and Aonung. Ronal didn't seem to heed your babbling as she worked, but Aonung was looking back and forth between your face and Neteyam's.
"What is she saying?" Aonung repeated in a hard voice. Neteyam's voice felt stuck, and his silence was only made worse when you reached out your hand up from Neteyam's arm to trace his cheek gently with your fingers. He brought his hand up to hold yours and closed his eyes in guilt. There was no way he could justify this.
Ronal's working hands stilled as she witnessed him grabbing your hand, her eyes flashing to Neteyam and then to her son. Neteyam kept his eyes on your face, but he could feel Aonung's burning glare.
He was putting the pieces together. He had known for a while that you were good friends with Neteyam ever since he first came to the reef, but Aonung had never felt any reason to suspect anything else. Recently, though, he had noticed a shift in his friend’s behavior. He had inexplicably started avoiding your friend group, and it didn’t escape his notice the way that Neteyam had been much more reserved recently.
All this, Aonung would have ignored, but now, he reconsidered everything. He had noted how you had called for Neteyam in the water. He saw how you had reached out for him and how you wrapped your arms around him tightly. He noticed the defensive way that Neteyam held onto you, refusing to let go. Now, hearing your mutterings and seeing you reach out for Neteyam, Aonung felt anger bubble in his chest.
"What did you do?" He seethed. Neteyam looked up at him and held up his free hand. "Aonung, please, I can expl—" Aonung shot up quickly and repeated in a harsh voice, "What did you do?!"
The tension was palpable in the silence. "Take this outside," Ronal ordered sharply, and Neteyam could feel the tsahik's anger in her voice. He got up slowly, dropping your hand. You whimpered as he pulled away from you. "No," you pleaded softly. "Stay." Neteyam could see that your words made Aonung even angrier, so he got up and darted out of the tent, closely followed by the other boy.
Outside, the young Metkayina warrior shoved Neteyam's shoulder. "What was that?" Aonung demanded, his chest heaving in anger. Neteyam held up his hands as a pacifying gesture. "Please, let's just—"
"Did you mate with her?" Aonung cut him off furiously. His forwardness caught Neteyam a little off-guard, and his denial seemed to be stuck in his throat. Just then, Kiri, Tsireya, and Lo'ak came around after hearing that you were injured, and Neteyam groaned internally. Having an audience would make this so much worse.
"Did you?" Aonung pressed, ignoring the others. Turning his focus away from his siblings, Neteyam replied, "No, I would never dishonor you like that." Tsireya looked questioningly between him and her brother. "What is going on?" She asked in confusion.
Aonung ignored his sister. "But you want to," he accused Neteyam. Already uncomfortable with having his family present, he stepped towards Aonung. "Let's talk about this alone," he said in a low voice. The other young warrior shoved him back. "Why?" He demanded. "Because it's true? You want her?"
Kiri took in a sharp breath, and Neteyam heard his brother curse loudly. Neteyam felt trapped. "My friend, please," he implored quietly. Aonung scoffed. "You are no friend of mine," he spat in a loud voice. "How long have you been sneaking around behind my back?"
As if things couldn't get any worse, Jake, Neytiri, and Tonowari came up behind their children, alarmed by the shouting. "What is the meaning of this?" The Olo'eyktan demanded to know. Pointing an accusatory finger at Neteyam, Aonung replied, "He has fallen in love with the woman intended for me."
There was a short, stunned silence, and Neteyam saw the look of disappointed frustration on his father's face. "Is this true?" Tonowari inquired severely. Neteyam hesitated for a moment, but he quickly realized he was in too deep to deny anything. "Yes," he admitted quietly.
Everyone present reacted differently. Aonung looked ready to kill Neteyam, Tsireya gasped softly, and Kiri put her face in her hand. Lo'ak looked half-impressed while Neytiri closed her eyes and began muttering under her breath either prayers or profanities. Tonowari and Jake exchanged uneasy glances and shifted uncomfortably.
"Do not blame her," Neteyam continued insistently. "It was my fault. I shouldn't have—," Jake raised his hand, cutting off his son. "Stop talking," he said harshly. Neteyam remained obediently silent while Jake ran a frustrated hand over his face. "Did you two...?"
Neteyam shook his head hastily. "No," he stated. "We are not bonded." A small sigh of relief came from both of his parents before Neytiri stepped forward toward her son. "I never expected this from you," she said in a low, harsh whisper. "You have brought shame upon yourself, upon this family."
Neteyam stood quietly as his mother began her rant. He knew this was coming, and it hurt just as much as he expected it to. Disappointing his parents was the worst feeling for him, and now he was getting the scolding of a lifetime in front of the rest of his family as well as the chief's.
Ronal stepped out of the tent just then, looking extremely displeased, and everybody turned to her expectantly. "She is asleep," the tsahik explained. "Her body will burn away the venom in time." Neteyam breathed a quick sigh of relief, but he was quickly filled with the apprehension of having to face Ronal's fury.
She pointed her glare at him. "Now, what is going on with you?" She asked in a displeased voice. Aonung stepped forward before Neteyam could respond and interjected, "He is in love with her." Ronal turned sharply to face Neteyam, and her scathing glare deepened. "We bring you into our home," she began in a slow, seething voice, "show you our ways, offer protection, and you return it by blatantly disrespecting us, my son, by trying to enamor his intended mate?"
Neteyam shook his head again. "No," he insisted, working hard to maintain a composed voice. "That was never my intention." Ronal look away from him and back at the healing tent. "And what about her?" She asked, gesturing to where you were sleeping. "Does she return your affections?"
Neteyam hesitated, not wanting to bring you into the mess of trouble he was already in. "I cannot speak for her," he said finally. Aonung scoffed at his words. "You heard what she was saying," he told his mother. "Of course she does."
Neteyam didn't say anything—there was no point. Jake stepped up to him, his face hardened in aggravation. "I told you to back off," he reminded harshly in English. "I said not to cause trouble." Neteyam nodded solemnly and muttered, "I know."
Jake huffed an exasperated sigh. "I'll take care of this," he muttered to Tonowari. Neteyam closed his eyes in shame. This was exactly the thing he was trying to avoid in leaving you alone. Now, he was in for a long night of listening to his parents berate him for hours.
Ronal scoffed. "We cannot allow this," she stated in outrage. "Your son has dishonored our son. He cannot go unpunished." Jake held up a reassuring hand. "Believe me, he will be dealt with," he told her earnestly.
"And how do you suppose he is to be punished?" She shot back. "He cannot be allowed anywhere near her again." Neytiri took a heated step towards Ronal. "You cannot exile my son," she asserted angrily. The tsahik glared at her. "Perhaps that would be the best solution," she countered in a haughty voice.
The two sets of parents all began arguing over each other. Neteyam watched in silent guilt. All of this fighting and contempt stemmed from him falling for you. He should have been more careful. He never should have taken you flying. He never should have danced with you. He knew better than that, but he couldn't help himself. He had wanted to thrill you, please you, any way he could, but now, his indiscretion had caused this dispute between his family and Aonung's.
While Neteyam was dwelling on his guilt, Aonung was glaring at him in resentment.
In the time that the Sullys had been in the reef, Aonung had gone from viewing Neteyam as a rival to seeing him as one of his closest friends. He had taught him the ways of the Metkayina. They had hunted together. They killed the akula together. And it was true that Aonung had no romantic feelings toward you, but he still held great respect for you and thought of you as his future tsahik with satisfaction.
Now, everything was changing. It was one thing for you not to feel anything romantically toward him, but it was something else entirely for you to be in love with someone else, especially when that someone else was in love with you. These bitter thoughts swirled in his mind until his voice finally called out above the bickering parents.
"I call for First Blood."
Everyone froze.
The Rite of First Blood was a dangerous and rarely used rite amongst the Na'vi that is only invoked in the most serious of disagreements. When someone called for First Blood with another, they fought in close combat until one of the participants drew blood from their opponent. The victor's conditions were binding and unimpeachable. What made it dangerous was that there were no stipulations other than requiring blood to be drawn, so the victor could go as far as mortally wounding their opponent if they so chose.
"Aonung, are you sure?" Ronal questioned after recovering from her stunned silence. Even she was startled by her son's call for such a serious matter. Aonung held a level glare at Neteyam as he replied firmly, "Yes."
Ronal shot her mate a reluctant look. "Very well," Tonowari conceded after a moment. "What are your conditions?" Everybody stared at Aonung, waiting expectantly to hear what he would demand if he was the victor. "If I win," he began slowly, staring at Neteyam. "You will leave the reef and never come back."
Immediate protestations arose from each of the Sullys except Neteyam, who silently held Aonung's glare with his own level gaze. "Silence!" Tonowari roared, cutting off the forest family sharply. Aonung continued as though he hadn't been cut off, "And I will be with the woman I am betrothed to."
All eyes were on Neteyam for his reaction, but he remained still, face impassive. "I accept," he responded evenly.
"Neteyam," Tonowari addressed. "What are your conditions?" He didn't respond for a second, thinking carefully about what to say, and Aonung scoffed. "We already know," he huffed. "If you win, she is yours."
"No," Neteyam replied resolutely.
Everybody blinked in surprise and exchanged uneasy glances. He took a moment to collect his thoughts before continuing. "She has already had so many decisions made for her," he explained slowly, shooting a look at Ronal's scowling face. "She deserves to have a choice for once in her life."
He looked back over at Tonowari. "That is my condition," he said decidedly. "If I win, she chooses if she wants to be tsakarem. If so, then she will continue her duties without reprimand, but if not, then she can renounce her title honorably, without shame, and without fear of retribution."
Ronal hissed in anger, but Neteyam was waiting for Aonung's reaction expectantly. The young Metkayina warrior nodded slowly and stated, "I accept." Tonowari was not pleased in the slightest about the arrangement, but he nodded gravely. "The Rite of First Blood shall take place at high noon tomorrow," he confirmed before turning to Jake.
"I suggest you keep your son away from here until then," he muttered in a low voice to him, but Neteyam could still hear him. Jake was glaring at his son as he responded, "Believe me, he won't leave my sight." Neteyam's stomach sank at the reality of having to face his parents' wrath for the rest of the night until noon. All he wanted was to see you and make sure you were alright, but there was absolutely no way anybody was going to let that happen now.
The good thing was that you were actually alright. You slept for a few hours before you began to stir again. Strange dreams and voices in your head made your sleep turbulent, so it was a relief to open your eyes again. Through your hazy vision, you could see a person sitting next to you, wiping the sweat off of your forehead.
You tried to say something, but your voice felt stuck, and all that came out was a quiet groan. "It's okay," a soft voice whispered. "You are still fighting off the venom." You blinked several times before your sight focused, and you were able to see who it was.
Tsireya's face was full of concern as she gazed down at you sadly. You mumbled her name, and she ran her hand over your hair comfortingly. "What happened?" you asked, your voice rough as a result of a dry throat.
She didn't respond, instead reaching for a bowl of fresh water for you to drink. She held your head up as you took a few eager gulps of it before laying you back down gently. "What happened?" you repeated, sounding clearer now that you had slaked your thirst.
"What do you remember?" Tsireya asked instead, taking the bowl back from your hand. You thought back, the memory of the viper ray flashing in your mind. "I remember getting stung," you began slowly. "I remember finding Aonung and Neteyam." You paused as the memory of Neteyam's arms carrying you replayed in your head. "That's about it," you finished quietly.
Tsireya studied your face for a moment. "Neteyam brought you back here," she explained nervously. "But you started saying strange things." Your face scrunched in confusion. "What kind of things?" You asked. Tsireya hesitated. "I am not sure," she confessed. "But Aonung—," she hesitated for a moment. "Aonung thinks that you are in love with Neteyam."
You blanched. Your mouth opened and shut, but no words came out. You were entirely unprepared for this accusation and could not think of how to defend yourself.
"It is true, isn't it?" She asked quietly. Your mind was reeling, and you were trying to think of something to say, but there was no way for you to justify what you had done. Your heart started pounding, and you began taking uneasy breaths. "Breathe," she implored, taking your hand comfortingly. Her touch helped ground you, and you tried your best to regain your composure.
"Tsireya," you began, "I— I never meant for anything to happen. I never meant to betray your brother." You could see the sadness and sympathy she had for you on her face. "I do not blame you," she told you gently, but you could see that she was torn. "But Aonung is very angry, as is my mother."
You closed your eyes, feeling the bitter sting of knowing you've disappointed the very people you sought to impress. "What did they have to say?" You questioned, not sure you wanted to hear the answer. Tsireya hesitated a moment before answering.
"Aonung has called for the Rite of First Blood with Neteyam."
Your blood ran cold. You immediately propped yourself upright, but you still felt weak from the venom, and your arms buckled. "What?" You whispered, horrified. Tsireya pressed gently on your shoulders to get you to lie back down before she nodded reluctantly. "It has been set for noon tomorrow," she explained.
You stared up at her face, mortified by what she had said. "What are the conditions?" You managed to whisper finally. She took your hand again, and you braced yourself for whatever she was going to say.
"Aonung's conditions are that Neteyam must leave the reef forever," she stated quietly. Your stomach twisted at her words. You closed your eyes and squeezed her hand. This couldn't be happening. It was just yesterday that you had been wrapped in his arms. You had run away out of guilt, but now the very real possibility of never seeing him again made your chest tighten with fear.
"And Neteyam's?" You whispered, trying your best to remain calm. Tsireya sighed. "If Neteyam is the victor, then you are free to leave your duties as tsakarem if you so choose," she explained.
You blinked. "What?" You questioned, unable to process what she just said. "Neteyam said you should be able to choose whether you want to keep training to be tsahik or not," she repeated. "He also says that you will not face any repercussions for your choice, whatever it may be."
You stared up at Tsireya for a moment, completely stunned. Then, you felt your throat tighten as tears gathered in your eyes. It all hit you so suddenly, you couldn't help but let them fall.
He was fighting for you. And not only to be with you, but to give you the opportunity to decide for yourself what you wanted to do with your life. It was so selfless and considerate. Nobody had ever given you that before.
Tsireya ran her free hand over your forehead again, a look of distress on her face. "I did not know you were so unhappy," she said mournfully. "I wish you would have told me." You shook your head as you took ragged breaths to calm yourself. "I could not," you whispered in a hoarse voice. "Your mother is my mentor, and I am betrothed to your brother. To tell you would mean you would need to keep secrets from both."
She didn't say anything as you took another breath to calm yourself. What you had said made sense, but it didn't make her feel any better knowing that you had been hiding your misery from her.
"I need to speak to him," you said at last, moving to prop yourself up again. Tsireya's eyes widened, and she shook her head vigorously. "No," she replied quickly. "My mother would be furious." You sat upright, the sting on your ribs burning as you moved. She must have seen how you winced because she pushed you back down and said, "You need to stay and rest. You are not fit to move around."
You didn't fight her, but you weren't giving up. "Please, let me see him," you begged. "This is all my fault. I need to talk to him, and I won't be able to tomorrow." She sighed regretfully. "I can't let you do that," she said. "Even if you were well enough, Neteyam's parents will not let him leave their home. Lo'ak said that they are very upset with him as well."
You closed your eyes remorsefully. You hadn't even thought about what his parents would think about a situation like this. You remembered Lo'ak's words to you just a few days prior. If this gets out, Neteyam would be in more trouble than I've ever been in. How had it all gone wrong so quickly?
"The best thing you can do is try to get some rest," Tsireya told you gently. "Especially if you want to be there for the Rite tomorrow." With your eyes still closed, you let out a defeated sigh and nodded. You weren't going to win this argument with her, and since you were already in a heap of trouble as it was, you decided not to press the issue.
Still, sleep was the last thing on your mind. A torrent of thoughts whirled in your head. There were no way you could rest when the possibility of losing Neteyam was looming over you. If he lost, then not only would he have to leave, but you knew that the rest of his family would go with him. After all that they went through to acclimate to the reef, they would be forced to pack up their lives again.
With your thoughts, you were resolved to see Neteyam, consequences be damned. Tsireya had left after about an hour, and it was late enough that most people would be preparing to go to sleep right now.
You sat up slowly, trying not to irritate the sting in your ribs. Standing up, you felt a little dizzy, but it passed after a couple of seconds. Carefully, you stepped out of the tent. You checked that there was no one around before moving quietly down to the beach. You waded into waist deep water before softly calling out to an ilu.
You felt too weak to swim out on your own, so you decided that having an ilu to help was in your best interest. It would also allow you to keep your sting clean and dry. When one of the ilus answered your call, you attached your queue and slowly made your way to the Sullys.
As you came around to where the Sullys lived, you were relieved by the sight before you. Neteyam was sitting at the edge of his home out above the water, an arm resting on his knee while his other leg dangled over the water. He was staring up at the night sky. You had often seen him there, gazing up at the bright stars littering the sky, and you had hoped that he would be out there tonight as well.
With his gaze turned upwards, he didn't see you approaching slowly in the water. You glanced around to ensure nobody was nearby to see or hear you. You noticed that his pod was dark and quiet, indicating that everyone had gone to sleep, so you called his name out softly.
He must have heard you because his head snapped down and fixated on your form in the water. When he recognized you, he immediately turned to look behind him and check that none of his family had heard too. "What are you doing?" He whispered in alarm. "Why are you not resting?"
"I wanted to see you," you whispered back. "Can you come down?" He glanced back over his should for a moment before turning back to face you. "The beach," he said softly.
It was all he needed to say in order for you to understand. You nodded before turning your ilu in the water and swimming back toward the beach. As you stepped out onto the wet sand, he was walking stealthily across the suspended walkways toward you. Leaping down onto the sand, he quickly crossed over to you with a concerned face.
"What are you doing here?" He asked quietly, bringing his hands up to hold your shoulders carefully. "You should be resting, healing." You shook your head as you looked up at him. "I could not rest after what Tsireya told me," you replied quickly.
Raising your own hands, you held his arms by the crook of his elbow. "Is it true? Has Aonung challenged you to First Blood?" You questioned, already knowing in your heart it was true. He let out a small sigh, looking down at you in regret.
"It is," he confirmed in a whisper. "We fight at noon." You closed your eyes and took a deep breath to calm yourself. "And the conditions?" You continued. "Tsireya said that if Aonung wins, you...," you trailed off, unable to speak anymore.
"I must leave the reef," he finished for you solemnly. You clenched your jaw in an effort to keep from tearing up. "But if I am the victor," he continued softly, "you will be free to choose the life you want. Whether you remain as the tsakarem or not, the choice will be yours with no consequences."
Your throat tightened at his words, and tears filled your eyes. Nobody had ever advocated for you to have a say in your own life. Ever since you could remember, things had always been arranged for you, and you had been too young to know what you actually wanted. Now, you had something that you wanted, and Neteyam was going to fight with everything in him for you to have it.
You shook your head sadly, looking down from his face. "You shouldn't have to do this," you sighed, squeezing his arms in concern. There was a small pause between you before his hands moved up from your shoulders to hold your face, making you look right up at him. His face softened, and his eyes moved back and forth between yours as he shook his head slowly.
"I would do anything for you."
Your breath faltered at his words, and you leaned into his touch with closed eyes. “I was so worried for you,” he continued softly. “I know what you said last night, but when I saw you in the water, I—,” he paused, his thumbs brushing against your cheeks.
“I didn’t mean for this to happen,” he said finally, “but I can’t bear being away from you anymore. When I saw an opportunity to be with you, I couldn’t turn it aside.” The corner of his mouth turned upward before he added softly, “If you will have me, that is.”
His voice was so gentle and sincere, and he looked almost nervous waiting for your reply. You couldn't think of anything to say that fully encapsulated how you felt, so you stepped forward and pressed your lips against his.
Neteyam still held your face as he kissed you gently. You leaned into him, savoring the feeling of his soft lips against yours. He pulled away after what felt like too short a time, a faint smile on his face.
"I will have you," you whispered to him, the corners of your mouth tugging upward. You looked up at him, his face inches from yours. "But you better win.” His own smile widened in amusement. "I will," he promised, lowering his forehead to rest against yours. "I'm not going to stay away from you anymore."
You closed your eyes and relished the moment of peace between you. For a second, you were able to forget about the guilt and worry you were feeling about everything and imagined the life you could have with Neteyam, the life you wanted so bad, it hurt.
He pulled you back into another soft kiss. His hands left your face to wrap around your torso and wander up your back, exploring as much of your skin as possible. His touch left you breathless, and you eagerly pulled him as close to you as possible.
You could feel how much he wanted you, but he eventually pulled away from your lips, his eyes closed as he moved away. "I need to go," he whispered quietly, his forehead resting against yours. "My parents will know I've gone."
The reality of the situation returned, and you felt all the fear and anxiety of everything stirring in your chest. You sighed regretfully, not wanting to let him go. Neteyam must have sensed your apprehensions because his hands pulled you into a tight embrace, and he whispered in your ear, "It will be alright."
You buried your face in his neck and repeated the words in your mind, but it was difficult to believe when so much was on the line. It was cruel that this was only the first time you had let yourself hold him like this, and if Aonung won the next day, this may very well be the last time, too.
Gently, he pulled away from you. You let your arms slide off his shoulders, unable to meet his eyes. There was a moment of silence between you, neither of you wanting to leave the other. Finally, he sighed, raised a hand up to your head, and brought his lips against your forehead. You closed your eyes and tried to hold onto the moment while it lasted.
"It will be alright," he murmured against your skin. You nodded faintly. "It will be alright," you echoed. You looked up at him, and he had a small smile on his face. "I will see you tomorrow," he said at last as he began stepping backward toward his home. You could only nod as he moved away. Watching him go, you wrapped your arms around yourself and repeated his words over and over again in your mind.
It will be alright.
Chapter 6
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aleksanderscult · 2 months
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What kind of "Alina" did Aleksander want?
I've seen so many different people in this fandom give their own opinion about how did the Darkling wanted Alina to be.
Did he wanted her meek, weak and obedient?
Did he wanted her strong and powerful?
So I took the liberty of creating this post to analyze this issue through his own words, thoughts and actions.
I know how popular the "Aleksander wanted her submissive by the way he put that collar around her" theory it but it doesn't really stand because:
A) we will never know how things would turn out if Baghra didn't approach Alina that particular night but it actually seems that he wanted to take her with him to the north.
“The key to the Shadow Fold is finally within our grasp, and right now, I should be in the war room, hearing their report. I should be planning our trip north. But I’m not, am I?”
He couldn't keep the truth from her forever so at some point of that journey he would definitely spill the beans to her.
B) he forcefully put the collar around her throat because she showed resistance at the worst possible moment. The Darkling had already set the wheels in motion: the King was slowly getting sick and the whole country (and most importantly, their enemies) would know it (so he had to work fast before anybody got any ideas of siege, rebellion or war) and he himself would have to show his true colors and plans. By having Alina slip away and act all dramatically with Mal was a blow to his plan and stomach since not only he had Alina as an enemy now but he fell for her so her rejection hurt him on a personal level.
(that weekend MUST have been the worst of his life)
He didn't want her to take that power unwillingly:
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Or steal her powers in a violent manner:
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He had little time and little patience. He worked his ass off for centuries and tolerated so much bullshit from the monarchs. He wouldn't allow her to foil his schemes. But it's also interesting how his feelings got in the way too and, therefore, acted impulsively.
But! How did he want her?
Well, the very fact that he grew up around a very strong, powerful and stubborn woman is an answer by itself. Baghra's influence definitely played its part if you look at this from a psychological point of view.
“It seems that most men are after a significant other that will essentially replace their mum.
A recent study by eHarmony has found that 64 percent of men are in a relationship with someone who shares significant personality traits with their mother. Fortunately, it’s totally normal from an evolutionary, psychological standpoint.”
Many studies have shown that plenty of men and women search a partner that resembles their mother and father respectively.
It wouldn't be surprising if Aleksander was the same given how many centuries he spent with his own mother and how much of an influence the latter was to her son in his childhood.
There is an abundant amount of proof in the books that Aleksander wanted Alina to be strong, powerful, to embrace her true self and believed that there was more to her.
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He thought of her as someone like him and could see himself in her, no matter how much Alina denied it.
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Baghra raised him to value power, so seeing Alina shy away from it is strange and peculiar to him. She has the chance to change everything and she seeks things that are beneath her. Aleksander can't fathom that because he doesn't believe that she's meant for something as simple and pathetic as this.
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He chastises her for the choices she makes and the wishes she has. She was destined to shine and be seen and here we are watching a girl trying to hide her potential.
If Aleksander wanted her submissive he would be glad to see her state in the beginning of S&S. She's weak, right? So a perfect victim to have that can't fight him back. But, in fact, he's furious, disappointed and unsurprised with her state.
Aleksander never wanted her meek or weak. He even admired her stubborness:
(there is a sense of admiration and annoyance here)
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BUT he never wanted that stubborness and ferocity to be directed against him:
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He even thought of her better than the men that surrounded her and believed that they couldn't measure up to her power:
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The aftermath of their battle in the chapel is extremely interesting because we see the Darkling showing a genuine admiration for her powers and how quickly she (sort of) mastered them:
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It also seemed that he showed understanding for the fact that she wanted to keep her freedom. Now that was a very good reason to fight him in his eyes. Since the Darkling himself believed in freedom and fought for it.
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And, of course, he offered her a throne at his side. He didn't mind sharing power as long as she wasn't an obstacle to his plans.
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He strongly believed in equality between them and according to the author he envisioned a future with her:
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In order to have someone to keep your power under control then that person needs to be as powerful as you.
And then we have him at his most vulnerable state confess that he didn't lie about equality after all:
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He talked about equality again and again. His disgust and anger every time he saw her weak from not using her powers was prevalent as well as his admiration every time she used her powers to their fullest.
The only thing in which he found her inferior to him was her knowledge of power. Which is understandable since Aleksander had much more time to understand it, study it and use it.
In RoW, his anger and disappointment for her state continues.
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So:
1) He believed that she could rule as Queen and her life in hiding is not right for her.
2) He believed that she was meant to be powerful and strong and stood by that statement many times.
3) Didn't consider her life a worthy life at all.
The only character in the Grishaverse, the one that people keep saying that she wanted her weak, was the only one that wanted the opposite for her and considered her fate disgusting, wrong and tragic.
His plan of having Alina on an equal stand beside him continued in this book as well:
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Which means that he wasn't lying when he said that he didn't intend to make a slave of her.
And of course her stubborness was a trait that he found annoying and admiring at the same time. It showcased how strong-willed she really was:
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So according to his own thoughts and words, I would say that Aleksander actually admired her fierceness and determination. It showed strength and he found it attractive. In fact, it probably even enhanced his conviction that she was the right partner for him.
But he didn't want that hostility to be directed against him and his plans. Which is not weird at all because what kind of person would like someone to screw up his goals.
In conclusion: Aleksander was actually the biggest fan of "powerful Alina".
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buckysbabygorl · 14 days
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Deal (Bucky Barnes Fic)
Blunt Part 4
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(Blunt Part 4, trust me the smut is VERY much on its way)
Part 3
Summary: Y/N finally shows, and Bucky feels more than rewarded for his patience
Being a soldier, you have to be sure.
You have to know your enemy, your team, you have to have the right skills and the right temperament for the job.
Is your aim dead on, do you know your location, did you check your six… every damn time you have to be one hundred percent sure.
Bucky knew right then, whiskey in hand with Tony at his side—he was damn sure that red was her fucking color.
That suit hugged her in all the right ways, hair down, heels high… and her eyes, staring right at him.
Bucky gulped.
“There’s my boys.” She called as she sauntered over.
“Do my eyes deceive me,” Tony purred, “or has Y/N L/N come out to play?”
“Oh I’ve come for much more than that.”
She perched herself on the barstool beside him, crossing one leg over the other. A signature of hers, Bucky had come to notice.
“I need a whiskey, and I need this god awful music changed.”
Tony waved to the bartender, tapping his glass for a refill. Holding up two fingers, signaling for another.
Looking at Barnes in his shell shock, Tony signaled for 3.
“My, my. Awfully bossy now that you’re off the clock.” Tony said.
She rolled her eyes, “I never pegged you to be against role reversal.”
“Role play I’m all for. I’ll let you play the captain tonight if it’ll get you to come out more. Speaking of…”
He smacked Barnes on the back to wake him the hell up.
“Bucky here is playing the role of depressed loner tonight, which is really riveting for all of us.”
She chuckled, and Bucky reminded himself to kick the shit out of Tony during training tomorrow.
Her eyes landed on him again, and she smiled.
“No ‘hi’ for me?” She purred.
Dear god, what was happening?
“You finished work?” He choked.
The bartender delivered their ryes, and Y/N swiftly raised the glass to her lips.
“Honestly?” She asked.
Bucky nodded.
She smiled, “No.”
Both men went wide eyed. She had to be joking.
“Are you shitting me?” Tony asked.
She laughed, “Don’t look so surprised. You begged me to come.”
“Of course I did. I just didn’t think you’d have the willpower to put down your damn tablet.”
Watching as she downed her glass, Bucky couldn’t muster a word. Who was this woman in front of him?
“Well… I thought about what you said. I never show, but I’m always good with the final details. I can’t control the outcome by rushing through the project. Handing something in a week before the deadline isn’t going to resolve things faster. Besides…”
She tapped her fingers on the top of the glass, and the bartender moved to make her another drink.
“I have more pressing matters here.”
Bucky couldn’t stop searching her eyes. Sam labelled her right a month back, Little Miss Wild Card.
“Like what?” Bucky asked.
Something in her eye turned. That glimpse of darkness he’d only seen when he took her glasses, standing inches apart from one another. His head was spinning.
“Well for starters, drinking Wilson under the table. Where is he?”
As if on cue, Sam came up behind her with a beer in hand.
“You wish.”
He slung an arm over her shoulder, and Bucky felt his stomach turn.
“I told you if you came, we were going hard. I’m keeping my eye on you to make you keep your promise.”
She grabbed her fresh drink and swiveled in her seat.
“I always keep my promises, you know that.”
Sam rambled on, and Bucky finished the drink given by Tony.
It’s not like it would do much, but he wouldn’t let booze go to waste.
Bucky realized too late how harsh the drink was. That was not whiskey. He looked up across the bar, seeing Thor at the other ended.
Thor raised his flask, pointing back at the soldier.
Hm, nice to know the God was looking out for him.
“Hey. Eyes on me, Sergeant.”
Bucky turned, Y/N looked at him pointedly.
He’d never get used to that. This different look she had about her, intense and daring.
She grinned cheekily, leaning in close.
Sam and Tony had begun their own challenge of drinking, yammering on about the happenings of the last party…
Somehow for a moment in this crowded room, he had her all to himself.
“What’s this I hear about you being a loner?”
Bucky pursed his lips, debating if honesty was his best policy. She’d blown off work to be here and gone so far as to admit it. He should return the favor.
“Honestly,” he rested himself against her shoulder, “I was worried you wouldn’t come.”
Her gaze didn’t falter as she hummed, “Like I said to Wilson, I always keep my promises.”
“You didn’t.”
That phased her, tilting her head as Bucky twirled his glass.
“You told me you’d come when you got everything done, yet you wrote it off to be here.”
He ducked his lips to her ear, something he dare not try since his strong attempts a month ago. The liquor was giving him his confidence back.
“What are your pressing matters here, Y/N?”
She shocked him by turning her chin towards his, lips now a fraction of a distance apart.
She lingered, and he reveled in her proximity. What he would give to sit like this with her the whole night…
“I’m not one for subtlety. And with your actions this past month, I can tell neither are you.”
He was entranced by her voice, hypnotized at its sultry slowness. His heart pounded as he tried to read her, subtle-avoidant though she said, he hadn’t been able to pull much from her before tonight. A compliment, her riding declaration and her proposition of praise had been divine deliverances in themselves. But he worried that she was playing him, getting him back for his blunt flirtations.
No. She wouldn’t do that, she was honest. Though she was harsh and sharp, she wasn’t cruel.
Still… he feared he would lose out on something he never really had.
Bucky looked down as her hand reached for his thigh, and he tried to stifle a groan.
“I remember everything you’ve said to me, James. The praises of my character, my beauty, that you like a woman that takes charge, that you want to add me to your work out routine…”
She slid her hand up his thigh, his breath grew shaky.
“I thought it was just harmless flirting. I couldn’t tell what you really wanted.”
She rose from her stool, slowly reaching for his belt.
“I couldn’t let you know that I’ve wanted you since the first moment I laid my eyes on you.”
Now Bucky couldn’t breathe. He grew vastly aware just how many people were in the room. Sam and Tony only a few steps away, they could turn at any moment and see her wandering hands…
Jesus Christ, he wanted her now.
“But now I know. I came tonight for you, I don’t want to dance around it anymore James.”
And then she slid away.
It was like electrocution, his spine rippled and his skin was on fire. He almost rose out of his seat.
“So here’s what we’re going to do,” She waved to the bartender, another round for the four of them. “You and I, are going to socialize, dance, tell stories, drink…”
She slid their new glasses towards them.
“At midnight, I’ll say I have to wake up early and leave. You’ll leave shortly after, head to your room and you’ll find me there.”
Bucky bit the inside of his cheek, hiding his lustful smirk.
Lifting her whiskey up, and urging him to do the same, she smiled.
“Then for the rest of the night, I’m yours.”
She clinked her glass against his, “We have a deal, Sergeant?”
He stopped himself from reaching out for her, instead mirroring her as she finished her glass.
“Deal.”
~
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fiorella-a · 10 months
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Honkai Star Rail girls as... "Jenny" song lyrics!
(+Short scenarios)
Info:
-Gn! Reader
-Fluff
Kafka:
"you're my best friend
But there's a few things that you don't know of
Why I borrow your lipstick so often"
"I've been doing bad things that you don't know about"
"I cannot pretend
Why I never like your new boyfriends"
>> Kafka knows you like her. The way you avoided eye contact is all she needed to know before getting her plan started, what was her plan? To give you mixed signals and to see how long your patience will last (don't worry, she likes you too, she just doesn't wanna be the one to confess).
First up is to ask you what shade of lipstick fits her and after giving your opinion, she kisses the nape of your neck!
Next, Kafka requested to Elio for blade to be her companion, all they do is fight and tease each other and Blade doesn't know what the hell is up with her requesting them to be together for a mission. Kafka will try to hide the fact that she feels sorry for you! The way your eyes filled with shock when Blade and her were announced to be partners for mission, shock isn't the only thing you're feeling though, also jealousy.
As soon as she gets back from the mission, you practically confess your heart out while avoiding her gaze, "It might seem stupid and I know this isn't supposed to happen but I like you, really I do." "Aw, I like you too! All you needed is two push of a button to confess? How adorable!" Oh boy, how you wish you could wipe that teasing smile off of her face.
Serval:
"Jenny, take my hand
'Cause we are more than friends
I will follow you until the end"
>> You have always looked up to Serval, she is the woman of every possibilities! She has multiple talents, a good reputation and a brother who's well known around belebog. While you're mostly in your comfort zone and that's why she likes you. Serval once offered her hands to you and showed you around Belebog and was nice enough to introduce you to her brother while her cheeks was painted a rosy-pink color, she just said "me? Blushing? No! I'm just exhausted from our little tour. How about I treat you some snacks, yeah?" And she smiled at you. You swore to follow her path as she was your role-model (and crush)
Seele:
"I wanna ruin our friendship
We should be lovers instead
I don't know how to say this
'Cause you're really my dearest friend"
>> You had a hard time trying to confess to her, knowing Seele, she's almost always busy protecting the underworld and its people. How were you able to confess? You might ask, well when you almost got attacked by a competitive and bad mannered miner– she grabbed your hands, put you behind her while she had her left hand guarding you and her right hand pointing the weapon at the said attacker. When all was finished, your confession became your way of saying 'thank you' and her confessing back was her way of saying 'you're welcome'
Silver Wolf:
"Stealing your stuff now and then
Nothing you'd miss, but it means the world to me"
>> When she noticed one of her button pins missing from her jacket, she just dismissed it thinking it probably fell when it was in the laundry, but once she sees your bag that suddenly has a button pin that looks just like hers, she thinks otherwise 'why would they do that?' And when she ranted about it to Kafka, you bet she was teasing you but she did help you make your feelings more visible to Silver Wolf. And boy did it pay off! Because just as you were about to take a nap, you got a message from your phone;
"Give me back my button pin."
"I bought matching ones for us though."
"No need to confess, scaredy cat, I already know."
Stelle:
"I'm using your shirt as a pillow case"
>> Stelle has the same white shirt with multiple copies of it, because she says "it fits me more and is elegant yet simple to look at" and when she comes into your room while you're in the bathroom, she sees one of her shirts serving as a... Pillow case?
When you came out of the bathroom you WISH you could go right back but she's so strong and literally holds the door open while she makes you explain. "Isn't it elegant to look at? And besides, it's not the shirt you used while going in a trashcan." Her grip would loosen at the bathroom door, "and if you don't get the thing yet, I like you, Stelle." and her grip is finally out, letting go of the door while a thud follows. Did she faint while blushing? Oh gosh.
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I know it's not Wednesday for this, but I have to share it before I lose it.
Unbreakable bond headcanon time:
Sonic has a little bit of a skill for woodworking, something he usually doesn't brag about, but is a cool skill to have.
Yeah, he was around 12-13 at the time, but he has the rad skills for days.
Well, he decides to make something for Tails, who was about 4 or 5 at the time, as a first birthday present to the kid.
The one thing he notices is that Tails is small, small enough to where he usually has to help him see over the counter in the kitchen or in the bathroom to reach the sink. He decides to make the kid something that will help him to reach high levels he can't reach, a footstool.
So, over the past couple of weeks, he starts to work on it, letting Tails help him with the safer stuff while he handles the more difficult parts.
"Sonic, is it ready yet?"
"Not even close to ready."
He saws and drills the attachments as Tails watches from the porch, drawing in a coloring book that he had got for him.
"How about now?" Tails called out from the window of the living room.
"Not yet!"
He files off the rough edges and places on the finishing touches. Taking a can of paint, he coats it with the with the brightest color of yellow he could find, that way the kit will be able to find it easily if he needed it when he wasn't around.
"Now?" He could hear Tails behind him, the sound of the makeshift stick sword whipping through the air as he swung it around.
"Hmm, we're getting there."
Sonic hammers in rubber stubs at the bottom, so it wouldn't slide around the wooden floors, which tended to be slippery.
"Well, now?" This kid really needed to learn the word "patience" on a daily basis.
"Let's see...."
Today was the day. He brought Tails outside, covering his eyes and bringing him over to where he had the stool.
"Ta-da! Happy birthday, keed."
The kit stayed silent as he gazed upon the footstool, his tails lowering to the ground as if he was... disappointed. Sonic felt a twinge of worry rise up on seeing his unreadable face.
He was looking forward to this for days, what's the sudden silence?
He was about to ask what was wrong before Tails beat him to it.
"It's missing a face."
"Huh?"
"It's face. It doesn't have one."
"Oh, Footstools don't usually have faces on them, bud."
"They don't?"
"No."
"Well.....can mine have one?"
After asking him in that manner without the usage of the dreadful puppy dog eyes, he couldn't say no to not at least trying to grant that wish.
He quickly rushed inside and grabbed his pocket knife, carefully carving two eyes against the surface, adding a smiling mouth to add to the detail.
He held the stool up to him, showing him the newly made face. "There you go, how does that look?"
Tails face instantly lit up as he lets out an excited gasp. "It looks so cool!"
He took it from Sonic and quickly climbed up onto it, holding his arms out as it wobbles under him.
"Look, I'm almost as tall as you now!"
Sonic compared Tails' height to his with his hand. "Oh man, you're right! You can definitely reach the ceiling with this, little guy."
Tails then flew around him, giggling excitedly. "You're the bestest, the greatest, awesomest brother ever!" He launched himself at Sonic’s torso, knocking them both down into the grass.
A painful wheeze escaped from Sonic, but he fought through it. "The bestest you say?"
"Mmm-hmm! These bestest of the best!" He exclaimed, nuzzling his cheek against his.
"I'm glad you like it."
"I love it! I'll take good care of it, forever and ever!"
"Oh, yeah? Guess I found the right kid to build it for, huh?"
===
(Basically, it looks like this, but with a painted yellow with a crudely craved smiley face on it)
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Sunset Ombre (Vil x GN!Reader)
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Your ears were filled with the sounds of crashing waves. The golden grains of sand crunched against your feet as you walked along the shore, eyes cast out to the sea beyond. The sun had begun to set upon the horizon, casting the sky in beautiful, soft, colorful hues. You sighed as another cool breeze swept through, tossing your hair in wisps a second time. It was surely time to go back to your room, but you didn’t want to leave! The scenery was just too breathtaking to leave behind. 
You heard a sigh so soft from behind you that you almost mistook it for the wind. The soft crunch of steps upon the sand told you otherwise. Before you could even turn around fully, the glimpse of purple-tinted shades let you know who had come to find you. 
“There you are.” Vil took a few steps more towards you before he stopped, hand rested upon his hips. “You do realize everyone else has gone back to the hotel, yes? Do you wish to catch cold out here?” 
“I’m sorry.” There really was no reason to apologize, you were free to do as you pleased - but you did realize you could have let someone know you’d be out here a while longer. “I guess I just lost track of time. It’s been so long since I last came to a beach; even then, it’s nothing compared to this.” You turned your gaze back out towards the waves, a smile stretched across your face at the sight. “It’s so beautiful here.” 
Vil followed your gaze, then gave a nod in affirmation. “Yes, it is quite the view.” He turned his head slightly to glance over at you. “But you can admire it more from your hotel room window. If you like, I wouldn’t even mind if you chose to visit my condo for an even better vantage point. Just come inside before certain people start to throw a tantrum - and before your skin dries out.” 
Ever the maternal one, Vil Schoenheit, whether or not he admitted it. There was no way he’d leave you alone until you did what he wanted. You weren’t exactly annoyed…just taken aback by his care, sometimes. You chuckled as you gave a little nod, “Alright, alright, I’m coming!” 
“You better,” Vil sighed. “My patience for Grim can only stretch so far.” 
“Oh, trust me, you’re not the only one.” 
Before you could turn to head back to the resort, your eyes caught something interesting - eye-catching. The sky had taken on a soft purple hue; golden rays of setting sunshine highlighted the expanse quite spectacularly. In your line of sight was also Vil’s hair, still tied in an elegant braided bun (at least what you could see from under his wide-brimmed sun hat). The blond of his hair, the purple ombre that faded in at the ends…you couldn’t help but release another chuckle. 
“I guess you made the sky jealous.”
Vil raised an eyebrow as he glanced your way again. “Hm? What do you mean?” 
“The colors of the sky match your hair,” you replied. “It’s beautiful.” You watched Vil’s eyes widened at your comparison; the sudden pink tint to his cheeks must’ve been a reflection of the setting light. Your brain began to scramble itself in worry and regret. Was that the wrong thing to say? Did you…oh shit, it sounded like you were flirting, didn’t it? “S-Sorry, that sounded weird, I didn’t mean to-”
The small laugh Vil let out caused your words to stop on your tongue - your heart to flutter. His eyes were closed in glee, mouth opened in a perfect smile. His pointer finger and thumb came up to hold the right temple of his sunglasses, then lifted them up to reveal his twinkling violet eyes. He looked genuinely happy. 
“No, no, do go on!” The Pomefiore housewarden gave you a little wink. “I would love to hear what else is on that silly little mind of yours~” 
Your heart pounded in your chest, your blood pumped in your ears, your face felt hotter than it did before. Vil simply chuckled at your embarrassment, setting his shades back in place before he began to walk forward, back towards civilization. He glanced over his shoulder at you; his finger curled in a ‘come here’ motion, enticing you to follow. Like a lovesick fool, you did so without a word. 
As if to sink further into whatever hole you got yourself into, when yet another breeze blew through, you tucked a stray lock of Vil’s hair behind his ear. 
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