#i like keeping my face to myself sometimes
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— THE FAVOURITE
PAIRING — Na-Baron Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x fem!Reader
SUMMARY — As Feyd-Rautha's favourite concubine, your position is threatened after his affair with Lady Margot.
REQUEST — (1)
AUTHOR’S NOTE — Once again I couldn't help myself and created some twisted & toxic dynamic between Feyd and The Reader full of mind games and scheming lol 😏 Thank you @little-diable for "letting me" to write this story. 🌹 I reached out to her after getting this request since she has a similar (and amazing) fanfic – "Guilt".
WARNINGS — Reader is some sort of a slave/servant, harm to Lady Margot and her child mentioned, mentions of sexual activities including non/dub-con (no actual smut)
WORD COUNT — 3,520
ENGLISH IS MY SECOND LANGUAGE.
THE FAVOURITE
Being Feyd-Rautha’s favourite concubine made your position on Giedi Prime secure. Coming from nothing and having no drop of noble blood flowing in your veins, you ended up with a luxurious bedroom and your own team of servants. Baron Harkonnen allowed this arrangement only because of the little agreement between you and him – you were to spy on his nephew and your servants were doing the job when you personally could not. The stench of schemes and lies surrounded the fortress like a thick fog.
So, when your lover didn’t come to you after his own birthday party – even though you were waiting for him all dressed up and prepared – you wanted to know why. Your servants came back to you quickly, bringing you the news of Feyd-Rautha spending the night in a guest wing. In the bedroom of Lady Margot Fenring, to be exact. A known Bene Gesserit sister.
Concubines had no right to be jealous. They knew their place. Noblemen couldn’t marry a random woman they favoured just because of some sort of affection or sentiment. They had to keep their options open in case a political union would be proposed. And apart from that, noblemen had their responsibilities when it came to the Bene Gesserit order and their own plans and schemes. You knew enough to have a feeling what Lady Margot wanted from Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen. To secure his bloodline.
Concubines didn’t exist to secure bloodlines – unless the circumstances were desperate. But usually, concubines existed to bear bastards.
You tore your dress off of your body, removed the jewellery and let it fall down on the cold, black marble as it shattered. The servants watched with terror in their eyes as tiny pieces of gemstones scattered all over the floor. You told them all to leave but they were petrified. So you yelled, you gave an order. And only when you were left alone, you allowed yourself to lay on your bed and cry.
You had sacrificed nearly everything to be in this position. Losing the title of Feyd-Rautha’s favourite concubine meant death to you. You knew what he was doing to the toys he was getting bored of. In fact, you often encouraged those acts. Now, you had to face a threat of becoming the next tossed aside pet.
You were finishing your breakfast when Feyd entered your chambers without a word or a knock upon the doors. He was the only person allowed such entrance and all your servants stiffened at the sight of him, bowing their heads and taking a few steps back. You decided to ignore him as you were sipping on your beverage and staring at the large painting on the wall in front of you. It was a landscape from your homeplanet. Or rather, how it had used to look like before The Harkonnen invasion and occupation.
As a little girl, you had been taken with others to Giedi Prime and forced to become a servant. Your hair had been shaved, the back of your neck tattooed with a Harkonnen sigil like you were a slave. Slaves died like flies on this court. Befriending the young na-baron had been your only chance of survival. And once you both had been old enough, the friendship developed into a romance. But sometimes, when you were forgetting yourself – too drunk on your own influence these days – you would touch the back of your neck and trace the tattooed mark. You had long hair again, covering it from the world. But you knew it was there. You were only a servant that had been promoted because of a spoiled boy’s whim.
“I have news for you, pet,” Feyd-Rautha stood above you with a proud smirk, showing off his black teeth.
You continued to ignore him and it made the smile turn into a frown.
“What is it?” He asked but you still refused to lay your eyes on him.
“I know where you were last night,” you finally decided to address the matter as you lazily leaned back on the chair and looked up at his face. He snorted at you.
“Not the first time I spent a night with another woman. Having a title of my favourite whore means that you are one of many – not the only one,” he reminded you and your jaw clenched at his choice of words.
“Not every night is your birthday. And not every woman is a Bene Gesserit witch,” you stood up angrily. “And I am not a whore.”
“Concubine is only a nicer way to put it but you’re big enough to handle the truth, pet,” Feyd was angered, you could sense that. But he was still amused by your little tantrum.
“Leave us,” you ordered to the servants and they bowed down before walking out of the chambers as fast as possible.
“What do you expect me to say? That I’m sorry?” Feyd’s voice was full of contempt as he observed your pacing around with squinted eyes. “I am not tied to you by any word nor oath.”
“What did she want?” You asked him and he shut his mouth. “She wanted to secure the bloodline, did she not?”
Feyd did not say anything and that was an answer for you. You nodded and walked away to stand by the window and gaze upon the cityscape of Giedi Prime.
“I didn’t have a choice. And I probably will never even see that child. They mean nothing to me and will never be recognised as my heir. What does it matter to you?” Feyd tried to explain himself awkwardly as he sat by the table and put his feet up on the surface in a careless manner.
“Did she use The Voice on you?” You turned around to look at him with a furrowed brow.
“Yes,” Feyd nodded, looking away. “Does it change anything?”
“It changes everything to me,” you approached him to stand behind and put your hands on his tense shoulders. “They keep using you. Your uncle all this time, now her. And you just shake it off and pretend it’s no big deal but it is, Feyd-Rautha. Have you ever been able to make your own decision? Even choosing me as your favourite had to be accepted by The Baron.”
“Don’t pretend to suddenly care about me,” Feyd barked at you. “You’re spying on me for him.”
“Because I have to,” you whispered.
“And I have to do some things, too, which makes us fair,” he shrugged his arms and you let your hands fall to your sides again. You watched him reach for an orange as he began to peel it slowly in silence.
He was right but it was not enough for you to know that he was right. You were still raging inside; filled with jealousy and betrayal even though you had no right to feel these things. Swiftly, you reached out for a short knife that Feyd always carried by his waist. He was so relaxed and trustful around you that his reflexes didn’t catch on your actions.
You pressed the tip of the blade to the back of his neck, the exact same spot where your tattoo was.
“I wish I could mark you as my own, too,” you whispered and he only chuckled, not fearing the knife at all.
“Do it then, pet. If that brings you relief, that is,” he dared you. “The pain will be welcomed.”
“I can’t do it,” your hand shivered as you lowered it.
“Then don’t threaten me with empty promises,” Feyd barked as he turned around rapidly and grabbed your wrist. He twisted it painfully, making you drop the knife as you hissed out of pain. “I don’t belong to you,” he reminded, his voice cold and sharp. You winced at the pain shooting up your arm but refused to show weakness.
“And I don't belong to you either,” you shot back, your voice trembling with anger and hurt you had been suppressing. “If I am to live here my whole life like a slave, kill me then.”
For a moment, you just stood there, staring at each other with hatred and passion as the tension crackled between you two like electricity. Finally, Feyd released your wrist with a dismissive shove, his expression hardening into a mask of indifference.
"Fine," he spat. "I am to inherit Arrakis and you are not coming with me. Stay here and rot, find yourself a new Master or leave, I do not care," he informed you and left your chambers just like that.
You were still standing there, petrified, as you blinked a few times before the meaning of his words made sense to you. He was abandoning you… but you couldn’t blame him. You showed weakness of your jealousy and that was something concubines were not supposed to do. Instead of playing your cards right, you snapped. And now there was no turning back from that mistake.
Your privileges were not gone overnight but everyone could see that something was wrong. While Feyd-Rautha was preparing to leave for Arrakis, you were not preparing at all. Your servants were nervous since their position depended on your own. And you were trying to work on a plan to be back in your lover’s good favours.
But The Baron was quicker than that. He requested your presence a few days before his nephew’s departure. You expected a punishment but, surprisingly, he was not as angry as you thought him to be.
“You lost the grip,” he informed you in his raspy voice, taking a puff of his pipe.
“I am sorry, my Lord,” you bowed down, nervously; humiliated.
“I should get rid of you. I’ve heard my nephew granted you freedom but we both know you have nowhere to go anyway,” The Baron pointed out and you swallowed thickly at his words.
“If I was only given one more chance…” You dared to look up.
“That is what I want to grant you,” he nodded as your eyes widened. Baron Harkonnen was not known for being generous or forgiving. “You see, on Arrakis I will need a spy next to Feyd-Rautha. Someone I trust. And you… We’ve worked for quite a long time now. You have never disappointed me nor showed any sign of disloyalty towards me. Looking for someone new, especially for such an important task… It would not be advised. I need you on Arrakis with Feyd-Rautha,” The Baron pointed his chubby hand at you.
“I understand, my Lord. But… He does not want me there. Not as his concubine at least,” you looked down, ashamed that you had to admit it out loud.
“That boy will soon start missing you. But we can’t wait until then,” The Baron agreed. “Since he has carelessly given you freedom already and you’re no longer a servant, I can promote you, child,” The Baron hummed to himself as you tilted your head out of curiosity – Feyd-Rautha’s habit you had picked up from him a long time ago.
Because your whole life had been about being his companion. It was about mimicking his behaviour and learning how to make him happy. Now, when he was somehow gone from your daily life routine, it felt oddly empty and pointless. It was painful to realise that Feyd-Rautha was your reason to live and your position as his concubine defined not only your position on Giedi Prime but also your whole life and personality.
“You will be sent to Arrakis as The Fremen Expert,” The Baron informed you and you couldn’t help letting out a little laugh.
“The Fremen Expert, my Lord? I do know nothing of them and their customs,” you reminded him.
“And we do not care about them nor their customs. We want nothing but annihilation of their race. But what we also want… What we need… Is your presence on Arrakis. Feyd-Rautha will be informed that you must take part in every council, in every meeting; making decisions alongside his generals,” The Baron whispered and you straightened yourself, suddenly feeling a bolt of electricity going through your veins. From feeling like a beaten dog, you began to feel confidence and pride in your new role, even if the title was made up for The Baron’s scheming plan.
“Yes, my Lord,” you bowed down with all respect.
“Now, go, prepare yourself for the trip,” he dismissed you and you turned around to walk away with your head held high.
Feyd-Rautha kept avoiding you but those few times you saw him in the corridor, he was giving you hateful looks. He had to be not very pleased with his uncle’s decision. You gained the courage to finally talk to him in private when you were on the ship to Arrakis, locked together in space with nowhere to run. Forced to spend time together since the ship was not as huge as the Giedi Prime fortress.
You chose the nighttime for this. In the evenings he was more vulnerable – you had learnt that over the years spent by his side. You entered his room on the ship without any guard stopping you as they knew your role in this mission. The Baron had given them direct orders to never stop you when you were about to spy on the na-baron.
Feyd was not in the room yet, so you waited, sitting on the armchair and nervously playing with the rings on your fingers.
“What are you doing here?” You finally heard his raspy voice after the doors opened. Feyd walked inside, visibly irritated at the sight of you. “Congratulations, you’re a full-time spy now. What a promotion,” he sneered. “Still his puppet.”
“And you’re not? His puppet?” You sneered back. “How does it feel to not be able to get rid of your own concubine just because The Baron does not approve? I told you. You can’t even choose the whores for yourselves,” you stood up to approach him but he walked away.
“You’ve sealed your fate, pet. Once I become The Baron myself, I am going to kill you,” he ignored your presence and began undressing to change into his nighttime attire. As if you were only an air in the room but it also meant that he still felt comfortable around you and allowed himself to be vulnerable enough to step out of his armour and expose. He trusted you, still.
“It’s not like I’m that valuable to your uncle. If you killed me now, he would be frustrated. But he wouldn’t even punish you for that,” you shrugged your arms. “So why won’t you kill me now?” You teased as you raised your eyebrow at him.
“Come here,” Feyd ordered as he sat on the edge of his bed.
You walked up to him, a little scared of what was inside his head at that moment but you tried not to show it. You had mastered the act of not showing fear around him already. He hated cowardice and vulnerability only inspired him to be even more cruel.
“Since I can’t get rid of you, there’s still use of you, is it not?” He smirked as he looked up at you. “Please me, pet,” he ordered.
“I am no longer your concubine,” you pointed out, trying to keep a poker face on and a straight back. The truth was, you missed him. You missed his touch, you missed the intimacy, you missed how safe you felt with his arms around you. You missed the nights when he would fall asleep in your bed. But you couldn’t fall back so easily. He liked to chase, he liked to play. And you had gotten the title of his favourite because you knew how to provide it. “You dismissed me. I am The Fremen Expert now,” you added and he laughed contemptuously.
“The Fremen Expert, and what is that exactly, my little one?” He teased, pulling you closer by your waist. “And what do you know of these savages? You’ve been trained in different arts.”
“What sort of arts, na-baron?” You asked, placing your fingers on his muscular shoulders to keep steady on your feet.
“Pleasure,” he sat you down on his lap and you joined your hands together behind his neck. “I missed your cunt,” he whispered into your ear, his fingers pulled on the fabric of your dress around your hips, exposing your thighs.
“You forget yourself, my Lord,” you teased with a smirk as he looked up, questioningly. “You see, in your anger, you set me free. You released me and I am no longer your servant. I am my own person now,” you reminded him.
“I am still your lord na-baron,” he reminded you. “And I shall do as I please with you.”
“But having me back in your bed will cost you. I am not free of charge anymore,” you stopped his hands and watched his expression carefully. His jaw clenched and his gaze hardened with anger and curiosity.
“What do you want?” He asked harshly.
“Depends on how much you are willing to pay to feel my sweet cunt again,” you tilted your head.
You knew that it was just a game and he knew it, too. Because he didn’t need your permission. Feyd-Rautha didn’t care if you were his servant or a free woman now. He didn’t care if you gave him your permission or not. He was free to take what he wanted. Because that was his nature and that was the harsh reality of The Harkonnens.
“You want money?” Feyd could not hide the sheer disappointment in his voice. He had thought better of you. But you only laughed at his accusation.
You needed to take a deep breath in to say out loud what you wanted. It required lots of bravery for a woman in your position to say.
“I want to bear your heir,” you told him.
“Impossible,” Feyd pushed you aside on the mattress as he moved away from you. “Is it part of his plan?”
“He doesn’t know. He would kill me if he knew,” you assured him, truthfully. “He wants you for Princess Irulan, I think.”
“He mentioned to me he would make me an Emperor. But he didn’t mention how. I don’t think I have to marry her. We are strong enough to just take the throne with force,” Feyd told you. “I don't want her. But you cannot bear me heirs. Only bastards. Is that what you want? To push out my bastards?” He asked as he hovered over you to intimidate you, looking intensely into your eyes.
“Bastards, then. Let it be,” you nodded, swallowing thickly, confusing him. “I’d rather give you bastards and live on crumbs than to be dismissed like in the past few weeks.”
Suddenly, his face softened, confusing you as much as you were confusing him. Feyd caressed your cheek with gentleness that was unusual for him.
“Do you know why you are my favourite?” He asked in a whisper.
“Because I know how to play the way you like it,” you answered.
“No,” he shook his head. “Because you actually like me.”
You didn’t know what to say to this confession. It caught you off guard, surely. And Feyd leaning in to place a kiss upon your lips – a soft, delicate kiss that you had only shared a few times before – that only intensified the feeling of confusion.
“It’s cute to see you jealous, pet,” he breathed out after breaking the unusual kiss. “I swore to myself a long time ago I would never marry even if he forced me to. And my only heirs will be the bastards you bear me.”
You felt warmth in your cheeks at his words. Realising that what you had been asking for did not have to be said out loud. For him it had been obvious for a long time. It was the only way for Feyd-Rautha and you were a fool to ever feel jealous.
“All you have to do,” he added in a mysterious whisper, leaning in to steal another kiss, “is to help me with bringing him down.”
“You fool,” you giggled and cupped his face delicately, confusing him. “It has always been my plan,” you assured him. “And once I have the power of The Emperor’s Concubine, I will hunt down the Bene Gesserit witch and her spawn for I am the only one who shall bear your bastards.”
“You were such an innocent child when you came to Giedi Prime,” Feyd sighed but not without an excited sparkle in his cold eyes. “And look what a monster I have made of you, pet.”
You chuckled at that, relieved to have him back and much more than that – already planning out a future that was even more promising than in your most secret daydreams.
“You taught me well, Master,” you only said and pulled him back down. “But next time you put a child in another woman, I’ll make sure you won’t be able to father any more,” you threatened sweetly before a passionate kiss.
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Amor | Carlos Sainz x Reader
Genre | Smut, Fluff.
Word count | 3.8K
Warnings | Sexual content, alcohol consumption.
Summary | Carlos is about to enjoy a few days of rest in Lisbon between races when he crosses paths with a young woman with whom he will share a night. And, if fate allows it, perhaps a little more...
Author's note | Thanks for the lovely request @thefuckwasmyname ! Hope you like it!
In life, there are many things that Carlos Sainz enjoys. His job, obviously. Or his family, of which he's very proud to be extremely close. But sometimes, there's something he loves even more than all of that : escaping both of these things. And that's exactly what he had planned to do for the next five days, wandering the streets of the Portuguese capital.
His phone has been off since this morning, when he stepped onto the plane taking him from Madrid to Lisbon. Everyone had been informed, and his words were very clear. Unreachable. Don't text, don't call, he had told his family the day before departure. I need to take some time for myself. To recharge. I won't answer.
Carlos loves Lisbon. As he steps onto the geometric patterns of the Praça do Rossio, memories of childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood flood his mind. Memories of his father playfully chasing after him, of sharing ice creams with his sisters, of days at the beach searching for the most beautiful seashell to give to his mother. Yes, Lisbon is truly a place that is precious to him. A place he doesn't want to share. A place he wants to keep for himself.
His stays in Lisbon always start the same way, and he's set on respecting the tradition. Running a hand through his hair and adjusting his cap and sunglasses on his head, the Spaniard heads straight to Gelados Santini. The blazing sun of this early May afternoon isn't in his favor. It seems like all of Lisbon has crowded into the small shop, determined to combat the sweltering heat with a sweet treat. Engrossed in his phone, the twenty-minute wait passes without incident, and soon he's next in line. Right after the woman in front of him, who is now heading towards the counter.
"Bom dia," he hears a very lovely voice say. He's not surprised to hear something other than English. A lot of locals love the place. "Eu gostaria de..."
The woman pauses, seemingly searching for her words. There are quite a few choices, Carlos thinks. Her hesitation is understandable.
"Eu gostaria de um sorvete de limão em amor, por favor."
Oh, he thinks. This woman is definitely not Portuguese.
"Amor?" the young man behind the counter asks, eyeing up suspiciously.
"Sim, amor e limão. Em um potinho pequeno em vez de um cone, por favor."
The man scrutinizes the woman in front of him as if horns had just sprouted from her head. Even though Carlos had planned to remain rather discreet, the young woman's confusion prompts him to intervene.
"Ela quer de amora. Limão e amora," he says to the man behind the counter, stepping forward.
"Ah, amora," the vendor repeats, grabbing the ice cream scoop.
"Oh my god," the woman says in perfect English, turning to face him. "What did I ask for?"
"A lemon and love ice cream. Quite original," he responds, suppressing a laugh. The young woman blushes deeply, covering her mouth.
"This is the last time I try to speak Portuguese."
"You were doing great," Carlos says, still laughing. "The accent was perfect, at least. Could have fooled me."
The man behind the counter hands her the ice cream, and she gives him a bill in exchange for some coins. She thanks him and gives a little wave to Carlos, thanking him too, before leaving the shop. The Spaniard places his order in perfect Portuguese, and a few seconds later, he too is once again facing the boiling sun, ice cream in hand. The young woman is still there, leaning against the shop window, trying to enjoy the shade of the small awning at the storefront.
"Thanks again," she says, licking the side of cup where a drop threatens to escape.
"My pleasure," he responds, sitting down next to her in the shade. "But perhaps I shouldn't have intervened? If it's really love you wanted to order from that innocent man."
She laughs, with a radiant, luminous laughter.
"No, you did well to come to my rescue. I thought the poor guy was going to have a heart attack."
"If you had insisted, I'm not sure he would have refused the proposition of such a pretty girl," he responds with a smirk, his eyes fixed on his cone.
"You, Portuguese men," she says, smirking at him. "You've certainly earned your reputation as charmers."
"Well, that might be true, but I wouldn't know. I'm Spanish," he replies with a grin.
"Oops! Sorry," she replies. "It's not very far, after all," she adds.
"Yes, we're neighbors. That's why I come here so often," he explains.
"Oh!" she exclaims, her eyes suddenly sparkling with excitement. "So, you know the city well, then?"
"Like the back of my hand," Carlos replies, gazing into her eyes.
"Okay," she starts. "I've been here for four days. I'm leaving tomorrow. I feel like I've already done all the important stuff : Praça do Comércio, the cathedral, the castle, the convent," she begins to list, counting on her fingers. "Belém Tower, of course. Absolutely magnificent. Alfama, too... But I'm afraid I might have missed something. Is there anything else that's a must-see?"
Carlos takes a moment to think, bringing the ice cream to his lips.
"Well," he says after a few seconds. "Have you crossed the 25th of April Bridge?"
"The one that looks like the Golden Gate?" she asks as Carlos nods. "No, I've only seen it from afar. I didn't dare to walk across it," she admits.
"Yeah, it's better to avoid walking across it," the Spaniard agrees. "But if you want, I have a scooter. If you feel like crossing the bridge. No pressure, of course," he says, focusing back on his ice cream.
"You'd do that?" she asks, her eyes widening. "Oh, that would be so amazing. I mean, if you don't have anything else to do, of course."
Twenty minutes later, done with their ice creams and feeling a bit refreshed, Carlos starts his scooter in a small Portuguese alleyway, while the young woman, seated behind him, fastens her helmet.
"Hold tight," he says, starting the engine and venturing into the cobbled streets, making her yelp before grabbing onto his waist.
The journey to the bridge takes about fifteen minutes. Fifteen minutes during which Carlos explains to her what's around them, from cathedrals to varieties of trees to famous murals. The rushing air and their helmets make conversation a bit difficult, so she leans into him, chin resting on his shoulder to hear better. When finally the bridge stands before them, she can't help but let out a "wow" of surprise and admiration. "It's so beautiful!" she shouts for Carlos to hear, and she feels the Spaniard laughing, his back trembling against her chest. In the distance, the statue of Christ stands with outstretched arms, as if waiting for them.
"Just like in Rio!" she says.
"You've been to Brazil?" Carlos asks, eyeing her up in one of the rearview mirror.
"Yeah," she says. "Have you?"
"Yes," Carlos replies. "For work."
The driver accelerates to overtake a car, and the wind cuts off their conversation. Behind him, her arms tighten around his waist, and he finds himself enjoying the sensation. A few minutes later, they've finally crossed the bridge, and they take the opportunity to stop at the statue and explore the surroundings. Lost in the streets of Almada, the two strangers get to know each other, exchanging life and travel anecdotes. The chemistry is so good that neither of them realizes how much time has passed until the sun sets on the horizon, in front of the terrace they're seated at.
"Wow, I can't believe it's already almost 8 p.m.," she suddenly says, looking at her phone.
"Did you have plans after this? Sorry, I've stolen you for quite some time," he asks apologetically.
"No, nothing planned. And I've quite liked being stolen, to be honest," she replies, looking at him over her spritz. "Thank you for being such a great guide."
Carlos looks lost in his thoughts for a moment, silent.
"Would..." he starts, hesitant. "Would it be weird if I invited you to dinner? My cousin lent me his apartment, there's a beautiful view of the city. I bought some groceries when I arrived this morning, I have wine, and..."
He's interrupted by a hand placed on his, and when he looks up, his eyes meet those, dark, of the young woman. He's never been extremely confident, but he's never felt as exposed as he does under her piercing gaze. It's... unsettling. Kinda sexy, too.
"I'd be really happy to. If you're not already tired of my company," she replies, laughing.
An hour later, she's sitting on the terrace of the Spaniard's cousin, overlooking the Tagus Bay, a glass of white wine in hand. The sun has set, but the air is still warm. Below, the noise of restaurant terraces adds to the evening's liveliness. Behind her, in the kitchen, the driver is busy slicing vegetables, cutting meat, draining pasta.
"Are you sure you don't need a hand, Carlos?" she asks, turning around. It's been a while since they exchanged names, back at the bar in Almada. She also learned that he was a driver. He didn't really say much more, so she interpreted... like a taxi, or something. They talked about her job, as a lecturer at the University of Oxford in England. Foreign civilizations, she'd explained with a smile, beaming with pride.
"No, I want you to enjoy the evening. I invited you to dinner after all, not to cook," he replies with a smile. She smiles in return, turning her attention back to the water. She could stay here forever. But already, her departure is approaching. The notification on her phone informing her that her flight takes off in a few hours is proof of that. A surprisingly disappointing proof. Almost painful. Painful? Ridiculous, she thinks, shaking her head to dispel the absurd idea.
"It's ready," the Spaniard announces suddenly, placing two steaming plates on the small table where she's seated.
"It smells incredibly good," she replies, closing her eyes and flaring her nostrils. "Do you cook a lot?"
"Not as much as I'd like," the man responds. "I'm often on the road for work. It's not easy to find the time and motivation to get into the kitchen."
"Yeah, I bet," she replies, raising her glass in his direction to toast. Their two glasses clink gently, and each takes a sip, settling into a comfortable silence.
"I'd like to cook more too, but when you get home at 9 p.m. from a day of long and tiring lectures... Food delivery works just fine," she confides, laughing.
The conversation goes on, each opening up to one another, asking questions, answering some. Neither of them says it, but each is surprised by how easily they open up, reveal themselves. It's almost unsettling, he thinks. To know someone for just a few hours and feel so comfortable. Truly unsettling, she thinks. Having dinner with a stranger and wanting to tell them your entire life story. The dinner continues, as does the wine, and slowly, the conversation drifts. Without either of them really noticing. Or caring enough to stop.
"What's a girl like you doing here all alone?" the Spaniard asks after a moment.
"Right back at you," she says. "What's a guy like you doing here alone?"
"What's a guy like me?" he asks, a playful smile on his lips.
"Come on now, you're just fishing for compliments. I don't care, I'll bite," she replies, smirking. "A charming guy. Very charming. Well-dressed, multilingual, good conversationalist, and who cooks amazingly well. A guy who knows how to please a woman," she adds.
"I do know how to please a woman," he says, tone low. "Thanks for noticing."
Realizing the innuendo, she blushes, drinking from her glass.
"That's not what I meant and you know it."
"I know," he replies, smiling. "But thanks for the compliments. To answer your question, I often come to Lisbon when I need to be alone. To gather my thoughts," he responds.
"And yet, we've spent the day together. That's not what I call being alone. Did I ruin your plans then?" she says, eyeing him intensely.
"You haven't ruined anything. If anything, you've improved them."
"There he is," she replies, laughing. "The Portuguese man in you. The charmer!" she says, throwing the bottle cap in his direction.
He catches it effortlessly in the air, laughing out loud.
"What about you, then? You haven't answered the question," Carlos says, serious again. "What's a splendid, refined, elegant woman of knowledge like you doing alone in Lisbon?"
The conversation pauses for a moment as she looks away from his eyes, gazing into the river in the distance.
"I don't know why I'm doing this," she begins, "but I'm going to tell you something I haven't told anyone yet. Not my family, not even my closest friends. In fact, I've only just admitted it to myself, but... I'm searching for meaning."
"Meaning?" he repeats, arching a brow.
"I love my job, I've worked hard to get here. Living in Oxford isn't so bad, if you forget about the rain. I'm well surrounded, I have friends, I get along great with my loved ones. But..." she continues, hesitantly. "I've been feeling lately like my life doesn't have any meaning. Like I'm moving forward without direction. Like something is missing."
"And what could this something be?" Carlos replies softly.
"I don't know. I'm here to find out," she says, meeting his eyes.
It must be the wine. Or the adrenaline from the day... But probably more the wine, which prompts Carlos to lean over the table and capture her lips. She's surprised, her whole body seeming to stiffen, and for a moment, Carlos regrets it. But a few seconds later, her tongue finds his, intensifying the kiss, her hand moving to the nape of his neck. Things escalate quickly. It only takes them a few minutes to abandon plates, glasses of wine, and clothing along the way and throw themselves onto the double bed in the apartment.
All day, she let him make the decisions. The one to leave the gelato shop. The one to cross the bridge. The one to eat dinner at his place. So Carlos is particularly surprised when she pushes him onto the bed, kissing him passionately before descending to his groin, and his already almost painful hard-on. Her hand barely brushes against his cock, her touch delicate, but already, his whole body is on fire. At her mercy.
"Wait," he says, sitting up on his elbows. "Are you sure? I can make you feel good."
"Let me thank you for this fantastic dinner," she says, watching him through her lashes, eyes dark.
Her hand wraps around him, and her expert movements begin, running her thumb over the tip, letting a trickle of saliva drip from her mouth to its tip.
"Fucking hell", he swears, falling back.
Her mouth finds him, and she plays with her tongue, hollowing her cheeks, taking him as far as she can until tears well up in the corners of his eyes. His moans intensify, assuring her that she's doing well, that he appreciates her efforts. Her little game lasts for a while, his hands lost in the mass of her hair, pulling at the roots, uttering profanities. Praising her. Then suddenly, he sits up, letting out a "wait" that makes her stop abruptly.
"Did I do something wrong?" she asks, wiping her mouth.
"No, you did... Everything right. Too right. I was going to, erm..."
"Oh!" she utters, stiffling a laugh.
"Now, let me take care of you," he says, flipping her over on the bed, his body on top of hers.
They kiss, something she's never done with other flings, other one-night stands. Something so deeply intimate, so dangerous. Their tongues meet, explore each other. He bites her lip and she lets out a moan so loud that she surprises even herself. This guy has way too much of an effect on me, she thinks, getting lost in his eyes. Hypnotizing eyes, he thinks, surrendering to them.
Pressing kisses along her neck, on her collarbones, and then on her breasts, his mouth finds one of her nipples, over which he slides his tongue, eliciting moans from her. Feeling her receptive, he tries something else, nibbling on it, pressing his warm mouth against it. For several minutes, he alternates from one nipple to the other, from one nipple to her mouth, from her mouth to the other nipple. His mouth, his teeth, are everywhere. Warm. Intoxicating. Suddenly, she clings to his shoulders, her mouth slightly open, and he can't help but scrutinize her, observe every movement, every expression on her face.
"Oh, god," she says, her head thrown back, a strand of hair in front of her eyes.
And she cums. It's probably the most beautiful, the most exciting thing he's ever seen in his life. His cock pulses, aching, and for a moment, he thinks he's going to empty himself there, on her stomach. Like a fucking teenager. But he has other plans, and he intends on making good use of them.
"Wow," she says, coming down from her orgasm. "I've never come from this before."
"Well, you did say that you wanted to find out things about yourself," he replies with a cocky grin.
She smiles, grabbing the back of his neck, pulling him towards her. He settles between her legs, his hand sliding between them, to her core. She's wet, her excitement glistening along her thighs. Onto the sheets. And who is he to judge, he, whose erection is almost painful, fueled by thoughts of slipping into her, making her his home for eternity.
In a kiss, he spreads her legs, positioning himself at her core, casting her a final confirming glance to which she responds by kissing him again, feverishly. He's inside her in one motion, and once again, he must focus to not explode within her walls.
"Fuck," he says, going as deep as possible. "Where were you all this time?"
"Oh, you know, at the ice cream shop. Asking for love," she replies, laughing.
He bites her shoulder, starting to move. Alternating between deliciously long moments where she moans, begging for more. And others where he ravages her, devouring her neck. Her lips. After some time, they're both panting, and he presses his forehead to her.
"I want you to ride me," he says, kissing her again. "I want to see you. All of you."
And she complies, swapping positions, sitting on his hard cock. Riding him without even thinking. Throwing her head back until her hair tickles his thighs. His hands find her breasts, holding them, kissing them.
"You're so beautiful," he whispers. "So good at riding me."
"Stop talking like this or I'm gonna cum," she says, whining.
"Would this be a bad thing?"
"I want this to last as long as possible," she says, pressing her nose to his.
He helps her, lifting her thighs to ease her movements, caressing her shoulders, her breasts, her hips. It lasts a moment, until she places both hands on his chest, her legs trembling.
"Let it go, hermosa," he says, holding her ass. "Cum for me, baby."
And she does, releasing a series of moans that make him bite his lip. He himself can't take it anymore, holding back his pleasure for some time. She feels it. The way his penis twitches. The squinting of his eyes. His short breath.
"Cum inside," she says, eyes still closed. "I want to feel you."
A few thrusts later, he empties himself deep inside her, with a grunt that could make her go for another round without thinking.
"La hostia," he breathes, panting. "¿Qué me has hecho, hermosa?"
"Was it that bad that you lost your English?" she asks, her head resting on his chest.
"You almost had me speaking French, that's to say," he laughs, pressing a kiss to her forehead.
"Do you want me to leave?" she asks, suddenly self-conscious.
"Please, stay."
Several hours later, Carlos is snoring softly, and doesn't even hear the alarm clock of the young woman ringing. She grabs her phone, squinting against the brightness, checking the time. Four in the morning. Her flight is at 7, on the other side of the city. She has pre-ordered a taxi that should arrive within thirty minutes to take her back to her rental, so she can grab her suitcase before heading to the airport. She reluctantly slips out from under the warm covers, casting a glance at her lover, peacefully asleep. Should she wake him up? Say goodbye? She's always left her one-night stands without a word, without a glance. But him... she thinks. This was different. Maybe...
Spotting a notebook and a pen on the bedroom desk, she seizes them, scribbling a few words. Nothing seems good enough, yet she wants to try. She writes mindlessly, throwing in a thank you for everything, a best night of my life, a hope to see you again someday before leaving the note on her pillow. Twenty minutes later, she's gone, her perfume still lingering in the room.
Ten days later
"What's up with you?" Charles asks, eyeing him suspiciously.
"What?"
"You're not there. So, where are you?" his teammate asks again.
So, he tells him everything. His trip to Lisbon to clear his head. His meeting with her, the very first day. Their afternoon. Their night. The next morning, alone. Her note. And the thoughts haunting his mind ever since.
"Why didn't you write to her if she affects you so much?" Charles asks, perplexed.
"She didn't leave me her number," Carlos sighs, dejected. "Not even an address. Nothing."
"You said she was a professor? At Oxford?" Charles asks, invested, as Carlos nods, zipping up his firesuit. "Foreign civilizations, yeah?" Another nod from Carlos. "Have you searched for her email? It must be on the university website, right? For students who need to contact her?"
Carlos' face lights up in a second.
"You, fucking cabrón," he says, holding Charles by the shoulders. "How did I not think of that?"
A few minutes later, as he's about to put down his phone before heading for the qualifying session, Carlos writes the final words on the email destined to his beautiful stranger. Finding her email was surprisingly easy. Summarizing everything he wanted to say in a few lines was more challenging. Letting out a deep breath and pressing the send button, the Spaniard sets his phone down before joining his race car and slipping inside. Nervously on edge. Not about the upcoming session, no. Something else. Deliciously nerve-wracking.
As he speeds around the track, completing lap after lap, he misses the screen of his phone lighting up, announcing an email of which only the first line is visible.
"Hi stranger... I was beginning to think you'd never find me."
#f1#f1 2024#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#formula 1#charles leclerc#carlos sainz#carlos sainz x female reader#carlos sainz x you#carlos sainz x reader#smut#fluff#lilasamaaa#requested
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Esu Sagiri - Idol Story 2
Author: Akira
Characters: Esu, Subaru
Translator: Mika Enstars
"Hehehe… But you know, even though I was crying like an idiot just by watching… You were smiling up until the very end and did your job perfectly as an idol, Senpai."
[Read on my blog for the best viewing experience with Oi~ssu ♪]
Season: Spring
Location: Cemetery
Second year of ES’ establishment. At a secret cemetery somewhere in Tokyo…
Subaru: (Dad.)
(I’m sorry I visited you so late this year as well.)
(I’m getting busier and busier year after year, you know? Although in Trickstar’s case, it’s more like there’s no leisure for the poor...)
(You wouldn't angry at that, would you though, Dad? ‘Cause you were much busier than I was, day in and day out.)
(Nothing could be done about that, though. You were a super idol who carried the industry on his shoulders, after all.)
(You never gave up, though. You never complained, and on holidays you would even be sure to come back home with a smile on your face just to make your family happy.)
(You sure are amazing, Dad. I’ve always admired you. And I’m now in the same position as you—I’ve become an idol.)
(As time passes, I’ve slowly realized more and more just how amazing a person you were.)
(It made me happy. It made me happy to be able to understand you, Dad.)
(Hey, Dad, I wonder if I’ve become an idol worthy of your praise.)
(If possible, I’d like to have you say “Wow, you’re amazing, Subaru!” if you were alive.)
(And I wish you could ruffle up my hair like I was a dog, just like you used to too, but…)
Esu: NwaaAAAAAAH!?
(thunk)
Subaru: …?
Hmm? Umm, are… you okay…?
Esu: Ah, It's okay, do not mind me! My arms are just outta shape, as it’s been a while since I’ve climbed! I bit off more than I could chew!
I took a dangerous route to get away from this creepy guy, and accidentally slipped from somewhere high—
Esu: —Wait, you’re Akehoshi SubaruuUUU!
Subaru: Yup. Huh, are you a fan of mine?
(This isn’t good. I didn’t really want my fans to know where my dad’s grave was.)
(Although his reputation’s been restored to an extent, there’s still a lot of anti-fans who believe those rumors and consider him the worst idol ever…)
(I don’t want that. What if his grave gets vandalized or something?)
Esu: Oh, no no! It’d be presumptuous for someone like myself to call myself a fan!
Presem… Presim, prisum… Huh, is “presumptuous” correct?!
Subaru: Yep, that’s it.
Esu: Was I right? Got it! Good, good, hip-hooray! I mean, that was very kind of you! This debt of gratitude will not be forgotten even if I am reborn seventeen times over!
Subaru: Seventeen times over, huh? What’s with that oddly specific number?
You’re a strange kid.
Esu: Huh, you think so? I find myself to be normal, though! Maybe I’ve become a little out of touch with the world after having been cooped up for a while?
If I do anything that feels off, do feel free to point anything out! I’ll correct it!
Subaru: Alright. Well to start, it’s looked down upon to cause a ruckus at gravesites.
Esu: You’re right~! My bad! I’ll quiet down! I’m a man who has often been told “You’re so cute when you keep your mouth shut, Esu-kun!” by his inconsiderate classmates!
Subaru: So your name’s Esu, huh?
Esu: Yes! I am Sagiri Esu! My name’s pretty tough to read, or excessively sparkly rather, so it’s okay if you don’t remember all of it![1]
You’re free to just call me something like “Ecchan” or “Sacchan”!
Subaru: Ecchan reminds me of Eichi-senpai. Sagiri—I feel like I might’ve heard “Sagiri” somewhere before…
Esu: Oh, so you recognize it? My father used to be real popular! He was even called a super idol at a point!
Subaru: Ah, that’s right! There was a super idol who showed up sometime between the times of Hokke~Papa—Hidaka Seiya-san and my dad, right?
His name was Sagiri. My dad said that he looked up to him, so I remember.
Esu: Ahaha~, although it was all downhill for him once the next super idol, Akehoshi-senpai’s father, made his appearance.
Subaru: Well, my dad did become the talk of the town for many things, both good and bad… Those from around that time aren’t talked about as much anymore, with Hokke~Papa being an exception.
It’s like it’s all been balled together as a dark past to be forgotten, thanks to all that’s happened.
So I dunno how things are now, but, umm you—Sacchan, what’s your father doing now?
He’s not active anymore… right? I feel I’d know about him if he were active.
Esu: Oh, my father died.
Subaru: …Is that so? Sorry, I didn’t know…
Esu: Nah, if you didn’t know, you didn’t know! He passed away three years ago, and by the time he’d already turned over a new leaf as just an ordinary man.
Just an ordinary man, just with a bit of a nice-looking face.
I wish I at least looked ugly… Then I wouldn’t have to worry about being followed around by that pervert…
Subaru: Pervert? Had your father been targeted by some weird stalker or something, like mine was…?
Esu: No, no, this pervert has nothing to do with my father’s death. Sorry if I’m being difficult to follow! My communication skills aren’t all too great, after all! Just terrible!
My father died in a plane accident. Just a common—well, it’s not common, but an ordinary accident with nothing to do with idols or anything like that.
I was involved in the accident too, and although I managed to survive, I’ve been in the hospital up until recently. So, I've been in the process of rehabilitation for about six months, as of now.
Subaru: Is that so… I probably wouldn’t have even known three years ago. In the period before I entered high school, I would shut myself away from any and all information.
All of the information that would drift my way… I wouldn’t wanna hear any of it.
Esu: I totally get you~. It feels like anything and everything is an attack on you when your heart is weak, doesn’t it?
Even though nobody in the world probably spares a single thought about you.
Ah, but you’re an idol, Akehoshi-senpai, so tons and tons of people pay attention to you, of course! I was really moved by the SS from two years back![2]
It was like—and sorry if this sounds disrespectful—but your father also passed away… I felt like I could relate with you in some ways.
Like, “Ahh, this person, he’s me.”
Subaru: … …
Esu: At the time, I understood the expression on your face, your voice, everything, as if they were my own—I empathized! I was no longer able to distinguish between you and I!
I was in the hospital, lying in bed watching your performance, and I cried so hard that even the nurses became seriously worried about me.
Esu: Hehehe… But you know, even though I was crying like an idiot just by watching…
You were smiling up until the very end and did your job perfectly as an idol, Senpai. So, I thought you were real amazing—
Esu: Ahh, I can’t find the right words! Hang in there, my vocabulary!
Subaru: It’s okay. I understand you.
Thank you. For watching my performance.
You cried in place of me, didn’t you? Maybe that’s why I didn’t have to show a shameful sight like that upon such an important stage.
So… I know it sounds weird, but thank you. Really.
Esu: Oh no no, I seriously didn’t do anything! I don’t know what to do being shown gratitude like this?!
Oh, shoot!? I hear Fuyume’s voice! He hates exercise and isn’t all that good at it either, but caught up to me through sheer determination…!
I-I’m so sorry, but I gotta go now! It’s over for me if I’m caught!
Subaru: It kinda feels like you’re in danger… Do you need me to hide you?
Esu: Ah, that’s very kind of you, but I’m alright! This is a problem I gotta resolve on my own…!
But if you’d like, do offer some incense at the grave over there, the one decorated with fancy goods.
That one’s my father’s grave.
Subaru: Right. This cemetery is for those in the industry that need to be kept secret from the general public. Both your father and my dad rest here.
It was through some sort of fate I was able to meet you, and hear your words that made me happy, so… Yeah, I’ll be sure to offer some incense.
Esu: Thanks! I’m sure our fathers are happy too! It doesn’t seem like they were on good terms when they were alive, but everyone becomes a Buddha when they die, right?[3]
I’m sure all those concerns and karma have been thoroughly purified!
—Eek, his voice is getting closer! Maaan, I wanted to have a nice and quiet visit to his grave after all this time!
But, well, I also caused a ruckus for no reason, and disturbed Akehoshi-senpai’s visit to his grave! That makes it sort of a mutual karmic retribution, right!—kinda?
Subaru: It’s fine. My dad always liked it when things were lively.
I’m sure he’s standing beside your father, watching over with a smile on their faces—over us.
[ ☆ ]
story directory
A sparkly name (キラキラネーム) is a term that refers to a recent phenomenon of giving names that are over-extravagant and notably very difficult to read. Esu's name is written with the kanji 笑主, which is both very unrecognizable as a name (it uses the kanji for laugh/smile + the kanji for lord/master), the reading is also very unnatural. The phenomenon is similar to the one where people will name their babies stuff like "Mhackenzeigh" or "Lakynn". Since knowing that 笑主 is read as "Esu" doesn't come instinctively, it would be difficult to remember; hence Esu saying there's no need to remember it all.
Referring to the SS where Trickstar won, back in ! era. If you aren’t aware of what happens to Subaru and Trickstar during the event, I highly recommend reading SS - Friendship 14 until the end of the event story, else this entire scene won’t make as much sense.
Esu uses a lot of Buddhist terminology here. If you’re familiar with the idea of reaching enlightenment, once you reach enlightenment, you let go of all worldly possessions, realizations, attainments, and achievements. This is what is referred to when one becomes a Buddha.
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PROMPTS FROM THE SOPRANOS
* assorted dialogue from the television show, adjust as necessary
i find i have to be the sad clown: laughing on the outside, crying on the inside.
i went ahead and ordered some for the table.
when you're married, you'll understand the importance of fresh produce.
we've got guns here.
he just told you to shut the fuck up.
the things i take pleasure in, i can't do.
don't you ever say you hate life.
oh, poor you!
so what, no fucking ziti now?
you want compromise? how's this?
i'll keep this short and sweet.
you're weak. you're outta control. and you've become an embarrassment to yourself and everybody else.
sometimes it's important to give people the illusion of being in control.
are you in the mafia?
tomorrow i can be on time, but you'll be stupid forever.
let me tell you a couple of three things.
you're not gonna believe this.
a wrong decision is better than indecision.
i'm like king midas in reverse here. everything i touch turns to shit.
if you can quote the rules, then you can obey them.
we're soldiers. soldiers don't go to hell. it's war. soldiers kill other soldiers.
we're in a situation where everyone involved knows the stakes and if you are going to accept those stakes, you've got to do certain things.
there's an old italian saying: you fuck up once, you lose two teeth.
someday soon, you're gonna have families of your own and if you're lucky, you'll remember the little moments like this that were good.
hey, i don't even let anyone wag their finger in my face.
it's good to be in something from the ground floor.
those who want respect give respect.
is this a woman thing? you ask me how i'm feeling, i tell you how i'm feeling, and now you're going to torture me with it.
lately, i'm getting the feeling that i came in at the end. the best is over.
my father was in it. my uncle was in it.
maybe i was too lazy to think for myself.
buy land, 'cause god ain't making any more of it.
i don't care how close you are. in the end, your friends are gonna let you down.
family... they're the only ones you can depend on.
take your hat off.
teddy roosevelt once gave an entire speech with a bullet lodged in his chest. some things are just a matter of duty.
some people are so far behind in a race that they actually believe they're leading.
sometimes we're all hypocrites.
other people's definitions of you, sometimes they're more about making themselves feel better. you gotta define yourself.
people only see what you allow them to see.
death just shows the ultimate absurdity of life.
you know when i was depressed i said i didn't want to live? well, i'll tell you something. i didn't want to die.
that's why dinosaurs don't exist no more.
don't touch that! my program's coming on.
i wish the lord would take me now.
our existence on this earth is a puzzle.
i'm getting my wine in position to throw in your damn face.
#mcflymemes#rp meme#the sopranos#rp prompt#rp memes#roleplay memes#roleplay prompt#rp starters#ask memes#ask meme#roleplay meme#roleplay inbox prompts#rp inbox meme#inbox prompt#inbox meme#sentence starter prompt#sentence starter#sentence starters
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Muted Peach
Dave York x plus size AFAB
This fic and my blog overall is for readers 18+
Word Count: 921
Summary: The run in your stockings is annoying but is quickly an afterthought with Dave’s arrival. He brings you two things you need and leaves you with a promise you want. The two of you don’t need any more words than necessary.
Warnings: handling dangerous plants, soft Dave - geez, government corruption, planning for murder, use of a knife, HANDS (be weird if Nerdie didn’t have it), unprotected P in V, aftercare, more soft Dave (👀 Not mad at it, just surprised myself)
Notes: Another entry for Jett’s Flora and Fauna Challenge by @morallyinept I’m enjoying writing about flowers 💐 This is my first, primarily smut fic in a while (if you mention Frankie I dunno what you mean 👀 that was only like the first 4-5 parts).
Let me know what you think 🤔
I also found these flower meaning references to help anyone who might wanna do the challenge but either doesn’t know a flower to do or what they mean: Botanical Headcannons
This one was for the flower I chose Belladonna: How does your muse respond to silence ? Do they take comfort in soundlessness , or seek to fill the void with noise ?
Main Masterlist/ Dave York Masterlist
The run in your stockings was inevitable. They were old, a size too small but you didn’t want to wear leggings under your skirt, and you felt you could wait until the weekend to buy a new pair. You thought they might have ripped randomly when you sat down for meetings or even when your knee hit that idiot Jim’s desk when you confronted him about why his reports aren’t in. You should not be coming to his office to inquire about them after sending him a reminder email like the rest of the team. His quarterly evaluation just took a dip. Keeping up appearances outside of your real function at the CIA is exhausting and mind-numbing.
You’ve gotten back to your office after five in the evening to make some notes before leaving. That’s when he appears in your doorway. He’s brought a plant for you. It’s small, a deep violet with dark green leaves, he needs to wear gloves while handling it. The flower is called belladonna - deadly nightshade. The smile on your fellow CIA agent’s face gives away his intent. He was able to get it for you. A special project in addition to your weekend shopping. A visit would be had with one of the US diplomats that were skimming money from the embassy. That wasn’t enough to warrant their death. It was when they began dabbling in the drug trade that the department received notice to remove him from the equation to maintain the integrity of US diplomats everywhere.
Such an original concept, for the greater whole and good.
“At least how they die will be elegant,” The only words Dave says to you before noting your stockings with their run. He chuckles and reaches in his jacket pocket. Of course he keeps his knife on him, though he didn’t need to cut your stockings and panties off. You were going to take them off anyway, but now they’re in his pocket. Sometimes you wonder what he does with them all? The plant is set in the windowsill and he discards the gloves and runs his hands over your large thighs before putting you up on your own desk.
With his lips on yours, he bites on your bottom lip and has you open for him, allowing him to explore your mouth. Unbuckling his belt and reaching into his boxers, you find what you need. Having his throbbing length in your palm, you scoot your ass to the edge of the desk. York’s dripping head is sliding against your folds, you softly whimper into Dave’s mouth, opening your legs wider for him. The smirk on his face while he leans back enough you get his pants around his knees and plunges within you. There’s no preamble, just the squelches of your cunt sucking his cock back within you to kiss your cervix. He pushed you on your back and had your wrists pinned to the desk. The thickness of his turgid member gives you the pleasurable stretch that you craved when he passed behind you after the meeting ended. Purposely cupping your ass, taking a moment to reach for a pen on the table in front of you, his hand sliding across your stomach, giving it a small pat. Switching his hold on your wrists from one hand to two, that same hand roamed over your stomach, feeling its softness and jiggle. He pats it again and mouths, “You’re doing well. Stay quiet for me a little longer, Peach.” Two of his fingers reach between your legs where he can see himself entering and exiting you while he circles your small sensitive bud.
The small gasps released from your throat, you’ve gotten skilled at keeping the noise to a minimum outside of your wet core. The pressure’s building with the unevenness of his drags, Dave’s close and you’ll be painted soon. Quickly he pulls out of you and lobs his ropes across your mound and thighs while your walls contract around air. Your moist folds miss his cock already, but it’s time to go. Dave sits you up and pulls a small packet of wipes out of another pocket in his jacket, wiping you down and himself before pulling his pants up and fixing his belt. The peppered kisses to your cheeks and neck are his goodbye to you as he exits the office. The notes you’d been writing and files are on the floor, it’s not his concern, though Dave makes a point to come back after thinking about it for a minute. Touching your shoulder, you stand and he picks up the papers off the floor.
“Didn’t want anyone to see?” Teasing him leads to another peck and a hand on your hip.
“Of course not. I should be the only one to see you sloppy. Take care of it this weekend and I can swing by Sunday night. We might even get breakfast Monday if there’s time sweetheart.” You pat his chest and nod, giving him one more kiss before he really does leave this time.
A fresh pair of gloves is on your desk. York left you those so you can get your new plant home safely - to be repotted you tell the janitor on your way out, the cool air tickling your clit. A job well done means a lazy Sunday night and Monday morning with Dave, so what if you work on different ends of the ‘special operations section’ of the CIA?
Being Dave York’s sweet Peach has definite perks.
Peaches 🍑 that might be in that jacket of Dave’s 🧥: @yorksgirl @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @goodwithcheese @musings-of-a-rose @iamasaddie
@legendary-pink-dot @bitchwitch1981 @for-a-longlongtime @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @megamindsecretlair
@daddy-dins-girl @soft-persephone @soft-girl-musings @magpiepills @harriedandharassed
@maggiemayhemnj @mysterious-moonstruck-musings @avastrasposts @survivingandenduring
@pedroshotwifey @connectioneverywhere @djarinmuse @604to647 @secretelephanttattoo
@rhoorl @sherala007 @schnarfer @bishtrouille @ohforficsake
#dave york x plus size reader#dave york#Jett’s Flora and Fauna challenge#pedro pascal characters#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal#fanfiction#belladonna#dave york x reader
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But you saved me! As difficult and as frustrating as it's been sometimes, your goddamned strict rationalism and science have saved me a thousand times over! You've kept me honest.
or: I don't know where I would be without you today. And I never want to find out where I'd end up without you. I didn't know what it was like to have someone who cared. I didn't know. You keep me going, you keep me fighting. Don't you know how important you are to me? The world has solidity because you make it that way.
You've made me a whole person.
or: I can't imagine not having you in my life. I don't want to. It's you and me, always, together. I didn't know I could love anyone this much, but I do, I do. I see your face when I close my eyes and I wake up with your name on my lips. Sometimes I miss you when you're on the opposite side of the room. I was all alone and I thought I was okay. That was before I knew you existed.
I owe you everything . . . Scully, and you owe me nothing. I don't know if I wanna do this alone. I don't even know if I can.
or: I'd go to the ends of the Earth for you. There is nothing that I wouldn't do. Please believe me. Out of any of the wild things I've ever said, this is the one I need you to believe the most: you keep me believing that this world is worth saving. Ever since you told me aliens don't exist five minutes after we met, I've needed you. As my partner, as my friend, as the only one I trust. Please understand what I'm saying. I have nothing to give you except for myself, and you can have me, all of me.
They were married after this, this is their unofficial wedding, bee or no bee.
#txf#the x files#msr#mulder and scully#that fucking hallway scene#best worst thing they have ever done
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🌇 5 Ways to Wake Yourself Up in Under 5 Minutes🌻☀️
"Life goes by pretty fast, if you keep sleeping, you'll definitely miss it" - someone who has never actually seen Ferris Bueller's Day Off
between my job + adulting duties and social commitments i've been putting off until i had more "free time," i'm busier and more tired now than i was during the actual semester 💀 so here's how i give myself a shot of adrenaline throughout the day 🏃♀️💨
Wash Your Face
ol' reliable 💧
hot water, cold water, both work, just not lukewarm water for some reason 🤷♀️
massage your face (i.e. gua sha) while you're at it to get your blood flowing ❤️
Temperature Change
can achieve while washing your face BUT the best is when it happens to be cold outside OR you shove your face into one of those grocery store freezers (idk why my own freezer doesn't have the same effect 🤨)
NOTE: the waking up part comes from transitioning back into a warm place because then the blood rushes into your chilled face/extremities ⏩
Eye Exercises
i love these ones — super simple and quick to do 😍
great for making myself able to drive, otherwise i'd be stuck in whatever parking lot i happened to make it to, unable to get home safely because all my energy is gone 😅
also great for regaining energy after a long day of staring at a screen for work/study
Pavlov Yourself
if you're starting from scratch, this one might not technically be under five minutes long, but you can probably already make it work with existing stimuli!
the idea is to use scents / taste / music / etc. to trigger yourself into feeling awake 👁️👁️
for example, i use sunscreen whenever i go out, so the scent automatically makes me feel more awake! ☺️
you can do this with simple things like a favorite song/playlist, mints, the smell of coffee beans, your everyday perfume, etc.
Eat Something
there are lots of high-energy foods that don't require long prep times!!
fruits 🍓
vegetables 🥕
whole grains 🍞
sometimes one BUT ONLY ONE sip of coffee works ☕
hope this helps you get through the day 💕
#energy#morning routine#daily routine#life advice#advice#tips and advice#adulting#good advice#life tips#tips and tricks#tips#daily health tips#daily habits#zesty's life#motivation#get motivated#inspiration#morning motivation#productivity#productivity hacks#life hacks#100 days of productivity#100 days of studying#100 days of self discipline#that girl#it girl#pink aesthetic#pink moodboard#girlblogging#student life
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● Some revenge ●
Daryl Dixon X fem.Reader
Era: Season 11, Commonwealth
Summary: The neighbors in your new home are way too loud. So you and Daryl got revenge.
Warnings: +18 CONTENT, doggy style, handjob, dirty talk, spanking, petnames (like Baby and Babe)
Words: 2.4k
Masterlist!
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PoV (Y/N):
We had been living in the Commonwealth for a while now and Daryl and I already had jobs too. While Daryl worked with the other soldiers, I had to work at a bookstore. Although I wanted to work with Daryl, Hornsby said I would be better off with a quieter job. It annoyed me, but I accepted it and worked in that store from morning to night.
Sometimes Judith and RJ came by to keep me company, but whenever I saw them, I saw tired faces.
And I also knew the reason why.
Although we lived in a small apartment, the walls were incredibly thin so you could hear everything. And the neighbors weren't particularly quiet.They talked way too loudly, had parties, or listened to loud music. And it didn't seem to bother anyone else, because when Daryl and I went to complain, all we got was the statement that the problem would be resolved soon.
And that was quite a while ago.
So I sit tiredly in my chair, reading a book while I come up with a plan to solve this problem.
Daryl had often suggested solving it in his way, but luckily I was always able to stop him. But then an idea came to me.
The city knew that I had been with Daryl for several years now and I wanted to take advantage of that. The knowledge alone didn't even make many men think about looking at me askance.
So with a slight feeling of happiness, I finished my work a little earlier and prepared everything for my plan. To do this, I picked up Judith and RJ from school and I made sure that they both slept somewhere other than in our apartment. And after that, I had to discuss everything with Daryl.
That same day I got the apartment ready, I got the bed ready, I put on provocative underwear and I also prepared some food.
Of course I still had my pants and shirt on over my underwear, but I was still a little happy. It was becoming increasingly rare that Daryl and I had sex, but whenever we did, it was incredibly good.
While I was preparing the meal, I heard the neighbors, who could never be quiet, enter their apartment and prepare everything for a loud evening. But I would be faster and hopefully it would be a little quieter. Daryl would even come home a little early.
"Then let's start the plan..."
I muttered quietly to myself before I heard our door unlock and Daryl step inside.
"I´m back."
He just grumbled loudly.
I walked up to him and hugged him tightly, a big smile on my lips.
“Hey... How was your day?"
I asked as I gave him a kiss on the cheek.
Daryl just hummed quietly before resting his head on my shoulder. This was enough of an answer for me and I ran my fingers through his hair. He seemed very tired, I almost wanted to ditch the idea so he could rest. But I could hardly open my mouth before we heard the neighbors laughing loudly. Daryl and I both growled in annoyance before we separated and I went back into the kitchen while Daryl took off his shoes.
"Where are Judith and RJ?”
He asked as I spread our food onto our plates.
"I sent them both somewhere else for the night, to friends' houses to be exact."
"Oh? Why’s tha´?”
I heard him ask and the next moment I heard his armor being stripped off.
I bit my bottom lip uncertainly before turning to look at him.
Daryl only had on his black pants and his black sweater, which he always wore under his armor. The material was a little tighter to his skin than his other clothes, which is why I could see his slight muscles.
I unconsciously licked my lips as I studied him. The archer noticed this, of course, and hummed briefly in amusement. He slowly walked towards me until he was standing in front of me, resting his hands behind me on the kitchen counter.
“Ya have anythin´ special planned, woman?”
His voice seemed a little deeper than it actually was and I had to grin slightly.
"Yes… I wanted to take care of the neighbors… and I need your help for that…"
My voice also became a little quieter, more passionate and Daryl growled softly.
My eyes filled with lust and I slowly moved my hand up his chest.
“What’s on yar mind?”
Before I answered his question, I pressed my lips firmly against his.
Immediately the archer growled and he wrapped his arms around my waist. I wrapped my arms around his neck to pull him even closer to me.
Our lips moved against each other in a quick rhythm until I let my tongue roam his bottom lip. He immediately reciprocated my action by licking my lower lip and then sliding his tongue into my mouth. My tongue immediately received his and I moaned loudly against his lips.
His hands moved lower and lower until they were on my ass. He pinched it gently once, making me whimper and jump up immediately. His strong arms immediately went under my thighs and I wrapped my legs around his waist.
Our pelvises were now rubbing right against each other and I rolled my hips against his to feel some pressure against my pussy.
“Greedy~?”
His voice resembled a purr and I hummed loudly.
We broke apart briefly to take a breath and looked deeply into each other's eyes. His hands started massaging my butt and I started kissing his neck. I felt Daryl slowly move and in the next few seconds I was lying on our soft bed. Sadly our bedroom was right next to our neighbors living room, but now it couldn't have been better positioned.
Daryl pressed a gentle kiss to my lips before sitting up and wrapping my legs around his waist again. His fingers ran under my shirt and he slowly pushed it up until he could see my stomach.
Grumbling, Daryl leaned down and kissed my stomach gently, his stubble tickling my skin a little, making me giggle softly.
While he covered my skin with kisses, his fingers pushed my shirt further and further up until my breasts were now exposed. I wore a black bra that was very simple in design. It wasn't anything exciting, but at a time when you had to fight for your own survival and therefore only wore sports bras, this bra was very sexy.
“God, ya look good~…”
Daryl growled quietly as his gaze went up.
I smiled slightly as his kisses continued upward until his lips brushed over my bra.
My nipples were already hard, but you couldn't see them through the bra.
Daryl probably had the same thought I had because the next moment he took off my shirt completely and then let his hands go to the straps of the bra.
“May I?”
"Of course…"
And with those words, he slowly pulled the straps from my arms.
The thin material gave me goosebumps and I sighed loudly as Daryl opened the clip on my bra and finally took it off. He simply threw both on the floor and didn't give the material any further thought.
He then did the same with my pants and panties. He kissed my clit briefly before sitting up again.
He slowly took off his shirt, his strong chest and his scars slowly becoming visible.
Daryl had told me about his life back then, what his father had done to him and what he had to go through. I was sorry, but I also wanted to show him that he could feel safe and comfortable with me. Although it took a really long time, his fear gradually subsided and he now even dared to take a shower with me.
“You’re perfect…”
I murmured, my eyes all dreamy as I looked at his chest.
I slowly ran my fingertips over his skin, over his nipples and then over his scar. The archer shuddered briefly before pushing me back down and pressing his face between my breasts.
He sucked greedily on my skin and licked it too.
With his rough fingers he massaged my nipples, making me inhale sharply. I arched my back and I felt Daryl rub his pelvis against mine.
A noticeable bulge was slowly forming in his pants and the bigger it got, the faster his movements against my pelvis became.
My breathing became louder and louder, I had completely blocked out the noises of the neighbors.
"God Daryl~…"
"I know, baby~…"
His voice made me gasp and I felt him slowly pull away from me. He unzipped his pants and pulled out his member, it was already rock hard and a few drops of pre-cum flowed down his shaft.
"So hard for ya…~"
I slowly sat up and kissed his stomach gently.
I wrapped my fingers around his shaft and moved my hand up and down. Daryl gasped softly as I squeezed hard a few times. I spread his pre-cum onto his shaft before he pushed me away and pressed his lips to mine again.
Groaning, I closed my eyes, but before I could respond to his kiss, he pulled away from me again.
“Turn aroun’~”
He didn't even wait but grabbed my waist and turned me onto my stomach before giving my ass a slap.
I whimpered loudly as I felt Daryl lift my hips. I laid my upper body on the mattress and turned my face slightly to the side so that I could still breathe.
“Ya wan’ tha’?”
Daryl asked, his voice growling.
His cock rose against my entrance and I just whimpered loudly. I confirmed his question with a nod and moved my pelvis further against him. He slapped my ass again, making me moan louder this time.
I could be loud, shout, moan loudly. It was pretty unusual, but finally being able to do it felt really good.
“Yes~! I want you inside me, Daryl! Please!”
I then whimpered loudly.
Daryl growled briefly again before slowly pushing himself into me.
His cock stretched my inner walls hard, making us both whimper and growl loudly.
You could tell we hadn't had sex in a long time, my pussy was incredibly tight and Daryl's breathing was very fast. Just like mine.
“God, ya feel good~…”
Daryl purred loudly before slapping my ass again.
Panting loudly, I gripped the bed sheet tightly while Daryl finally pulled back a little, only to then press himself completely back into me. He thrust into me again and again, our skin slapped against each other loudly, but our voices drowned out the slapping noises.
“So good!” I screamed loudly.
I could only faintly hear the neighbors murmuring something, but I ignored it and enjoyed the fullness that Daryl gave me.
God, we have to fuck more often again.
Daryl moved his hips harder and harder against mine, his hands gripping my hips or waist tightly.
Sometimes he would massage my ass, then he would caress my sides, and then he would slap my ass again. He kept this process for quite a while and he made me see stars with it. My eyes rolled back as his tip hit my special spot and I moaned his name loudly.
“God, Daryl~…! Yes, fuck~!”
“Ya like tha´?… yeh, ya like tha´, baby~”
Suddenly his hand was between my shoulder blades and he pushed my upper body a little further down. He lightly pressed my face into the pillow and I screamed loudly into it. But Daryl didn't seem to like the fact that my voice was now much muffled, so he pulled me back up so that my back was pressed against his chest.
"I wan' ya, ta scream loud an' nice, 'kay?"
He growled softly in my ear and I breathed faster and faster.
I felt a little dizzy from my rapid breathing and Daryl's thrusts. He now buried his face into my shoulder, his right hand went to my breast, which he massaged roughly, and his left hand went to my clit.
He massaged my clit in circular motions, just as he swirled his finger around my nipple.
“Fuck, I’m gonna cum~…!”
I screamed loudly.
Daryl just growled loudly before I felt him bite my skin lightly. He wouldn't leave a mark, but it was enough to make me whimper.
“Good~…cum aroun’ ma cock, yah?”
He then growled in my ear.
His voice gave me goosebumps and I nodded quickly again.
The pressure in my abdomen increased and my vision slowly became black. I felt that Daryl's thrusts were becoming more and more irregular and his cock was also throbbing harder inside me.
Before I could do anything I came around his shaft and I screamed his name loudly. As loud as I was screaming, the entire house probably heard us, but we didn't care at the moment.
“Fuck~…! Yes, jus’ like tha’…”
After Daryl said this he pulled out of me and he flipped me over.
He gently pushed me back into bed and he kissed my lips briefly. As he pulled away from me, he wrapped his fingers around his shaft and he moved them quickly down on us.
He put his face between my breasts and he breathed in my scent deeply. The archer growled loudly once before I felt his hot cum on my skin.
He sprayed on my stomach and some hit my breasts too.
Breathing heavily, he began kissing my skin as I also tried to get my breathing back under control.
“God, that was good…!”
I then uttered, with a slight giggle.
Daryl just snorted briefly before sitting up and looking at my body. The archer remained silent for a moment before he got up and put his boxershorts back on properly and then got some towels. He gently wiped his cum from my skin before throwing away the towels and placing a kiss on my forehead.
“Now the neighbors stay quiet… and if not…”
Daryl didn't have to continue, I understood what he meant.
A wide grin crept onto my lips before I nodded slightly and gently pressed his lips to mine.
#daryl#daryl dixon#daryl twd#twd daryl#the walking dead daryl#twd#daryl dixon x reader#daryl dixon twd#twd daryl dixon#daryl dixon smut#smut#daryl dixon x female reader
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Salve! You're response from my previous question is appreciated and helpful.(^-^)
I was wondering what your character limit was since I wanted to make a request. Is it possible if you can do a hc with Trey Clover, Jade Leech, Jamil Viper, and Idia Shroud with a F!S/O that has snake bite piercings?
Like, they didn't know it at first but F!S/O just randomly bought it up. How would they feel about said piercings? Do they find it attractive? Or looks down upon them? I'll leave it up to you♥︎
You don't have to do it if you're uncomfy about piercings♥︎
(Also, have you heard of the "Beta punk Jade"?👀)
Thank you for your time!(^-^)/♡☆ミ
ooooh absolutely!!! I have a few ear piercings myself actaully aha..
Beta Jade being a little punkish is SO funny to me.
Trey Clover, Jade Leech, Jamil Viper, and Idia Shroud
with an S/O who has snake bite piercings.
Kind of short this time...
Trey Clover
He thinks they are super cool!!
He would never do that to himself becasuse ouch pain.
Like when you brought up your own piercings to Trey he's like "Oh thats cool- did they hurt??"
And he legally has to ask "Do you have to brush your teeth any differently?"
Lowkey thinks its hot.
He's a tad bit plain so he does have moments where he's a little... judgy about it?
Like they'll get caught on something and he'll make a comment on it
"See, this is why I don't have any piercings myself"
Outside of small moments like that he's real chill!
Jade Leech
Oh?????
He's observant!!! he noticed right away <3
But he'll keep to himself for now.
So when you bring up your piercings Jade finally gets to ask some things he's been dyyying to know about.
"So, humans pierce more than their ears... interesting."
Jade lowkey wants one too,,,
He'd like to match, but you definitely pull them off better in this eyes (Jade heart eyes)
Maybe with enough convincing you take him to get a matching one!
Happy eel boyfie
Jamil Viper
He's busy, so you DO kind of need to mention it, like he'll notice but forget to comment
Huh? oh? your lips, they have metal-
"Snake bite piercings...? really?" then he does a little smrik because
You got snake bites
his last name is Viper....
Weird sense of pride about them.
He ADORES THEM
I think Jamil would like to lightly poke at them sometimes, he kind of sees them as a reminder of himself and your relationship.
He doesn't want his own, but maybe he'd get you some fancier piercings when he spots them now!
Idia Shroud
Yeah you,,, you HAVE to tell him
WHOAAAA holy shit that so pog babe- anyways.
"Eh? You actually got a snake bite? ohmygods this is JUST like my fanfi- I've said too much."
Idia REALLY likes them (he has a crush on you how embarassing!!!)
He kind of just... stares sometimes. He's looking at your face but he pinks up a little when he sees the piercings.
Idia also kind of wants them but he is way too scared to actually get anything othert than his ears pierced (With good reason too i have no doubts he was weak skin)
You also notice he is not so subtly changing his pfps to characters with piercings
He thinks ur rlly cool...
#twisted wonderland#twistedwonderland#disney twisted wonderland#twst#disney twst#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#idia shroud x reader#jamil viper x reader#trey clover x reader#jade leech x reader
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can we get a sneak peek from the fic you’re writing?
oh i suppose we can have a little sneak peek under the cut. as a treat
“So,” Cady says, hands smoothing over her legs, an anxious tic Regina noticed on day one. She’s wearing these corduroy green shorts that would be totally lame on anyone else, Regina especially, but Cady has a way of making Safari-nerd chic look kind of cute. It’s almost regrettable Regina had stamped that out of her last year, if only because she couldn’t pull it off herself.
Whatever. She’s over that now. She has bigger things to worry about, like not obsessing over the galaxy of freckles those shorts reveal.
Her life is so hard.
“So,” Regina replies, adamantly keeping her eyes on the road. Safety first, etc.
“Are you still seeing Shane?”
It’s a valid question, but Regina’s shoulders tense. “No,” she says, aiming for nonchalance. “That was more of a situationship type thing. We're just friends.”
“Situationship?”
Regina laughs despite herself. Cady is still as clueless as a martian sometimes. “Yes, like. Not a defined relationship, but something that’s kind of… I don’t know. More than a hookup. A recurring thing.”
“Interesting.” Cady seems to ponder the idea. “So you didn’t really break up?”
“No, not really.” Regina hesitates, but the expression on Cady’s face compels her toward honesty. Well. Some honesty, anyway. “My therapist says I should try to not get involved with anyone right now. Work on myself, and all that.”
Cady’s expression opens in surprise, either at the honesty or at Regina having a therapist, who knows. “Oh. Wow. Huh. Yeah, I mean. No guys? Wow.”
Oh, Cady. “Well, Roger works my body enough these days.”
Cady scrunches her nose in confusion. “Wait, who’s Roger?”
“My Physical Therapist.” Cady stares at her. “That’s a joke, babe. Jeez, tough crowd.”
“Oh.” Cady finally breaks a smile. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you make a real joke before.”
“Well, I’m hot and smart. To be funny too would just be really unfair to everyone else.”
Cady’s little laugh fills the car, a bubble of warmth against the cloudy midwestern sky. Regina soaks it in like a dehydrated sponge, trying to ignore that feeling in her chest that’s telling her to lean in, to push, to take and take and take.
She sighs. It’s going to be a really long year.
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You're super neat
Early sketch of my commission from @quonit! It's really cute, but I wanted something more like o.o
#asks#a blank expressionless face is kinda comforting to me#for the same reason wearing a face mask is comforting#maybe i'm shy idk#i like keeping my face to myself sometimes#but cute plushies with cute blushy smiles are cute so i'm keeping this pic too!#and i was planning to have it be a profile pic so having the representation of me be permanently smiling is a little off#especially in public! how scandalous!#also i wanted it to be able to be interpreted as inanimate so the blush is a no#and while being just a cute inanimate plushie can be nice i definitely don't want my inanimate body to be forced to smile#i was always uncomfortable with permagrin stuff#also i just like the look of a blank face. it feels right for a plushie whether animate or not#the many reasons why my plushie commission has no mouth#and has those cute beady eyes#just realizing now i probably should've mentioned the “able to be interpreted as inanimate” in my request lol#turned out great in the end anyway tho
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if i just told you i love you would this world change
#witch hat tag#orufrey#these kinda suck lol i feel like i cant draw right now *irritated sigh* BUT I FEEL EMOTIONS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#if you are gay go watch good omens season 2 right now. NO YOU DONT KNOW THO!!!!!!!!!#i know being this affected by good omens is probably cringe. I dont care any more. the last 1 minute of good omens season 2 was#some of the most affecting acting i've ever seen in my life. sometimes someone acts with the force as if their entire career led to that#like during the credits part the very end im not even talking about before that. holy god#aziraphale i know everything about you. i know what you are feeling right now. i can see everything on your face. we're going to make it#ER.... NOT THAT THIS HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS POST. IT'S NOT SPOILERS !!!!!!!!!!!!!#I JUST FEEL THOROUGHLY CHANGED !!!!!!!!!!! SHIT GETS REAL FROM NOW ON.. LIKE IN GENERAL! IN MY LIFE!#tormented gay love tormented gay love TORMENTED GAY LOVE TORMENTED GAY LOVE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#btw the first 3 images were drawn earlier with an entirely different feeling and an entirely different mood.#Why do you keep pulling away from me?#It is because i love you that i do this#the lyrics from one of my japanese orufrey songs (A SONG THAT THE CREATOR LISTENS TO!!!!) led to feelings#“あなたが知らない私を残さず見ててほしいの” but i'm not translating it cause it just sounds weird. if with his eyes oru's asking “WHY don't you want#to let me in? to see all of you?“ those lyrics are like ”I actually want you to see every last bit of the parts of me you don't know“#oru you have no idea how much i want to lay bare my whole soul for you#maybe it's an alternate version of chapter 40. to me#i need to draw something really fucking good or i'm not going to forgive myself. i will not rest in this life#until i have made the orufrey that fully satisfies me nor until i have seen what the manga is leading to#NO STORY MEANS ANYTHING WITHOUT TORMENTED GAY LOVE AT THE HEART OF IT. THATS THE HEART OF THIS WORLD!!!!!#........... so Hi im normal :) haha *goes and finally makes breakfast*
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Soon im rly gonna do it
#🕸️#sui mention#< in the tags tho cuz it feels nicer to talk abt this in tags than in the post itself cuz to me posts are like talking normally but tags are#like whispering? talking you can tune out if you want but whispering is rather more voluntary to say it doesnt matter however#every single year passes and i wish i didnt live in each and every one of them i feel disconnected dissatisfied empty disappointed every day#it can be a small part of a day or a bigger but its still there clenching onto me like and never letting go im tired of it theres always a#wall between me and otyer ppl im unsure if i put it there or was it put there by other ppl but its there and even if anyone tries to reach#into it do i understand how even if close are we really far away it makes me understand just how much of an abnormality i am and how much i#cant ever be like them no matter how much i try and climb and crawl until i bleed its exhausting its maddening#almost everything i do is shaped by spite i wear one bracelet for years out of spite i dont smoke out of spite i dont shave my hands not#only because im normal abt body hair but also out of spite the more i know ppl the spiteful i get only way for me to truly like someone is#to keep them at a lenght outside that wall if they get in then theres only two choices for them to dislike me or even hate my entire being#or me to shove them back out without ever letting them get in#coworkers say im a nice kind person but im not its all just a facade to make my life easier and to suit myself im hateful but i dont believe#its entirely my fault after all they will to my face make fun of. laugh at. and hate everything of me they would see in other ppl that dont#hide it deep within like i do and then it rly hits me how different abnormal foul disgusting and unnatural i am#im hit with his every talk that goes on too long every word that keeps going every touch every expression every comment made on my behalf#its exhausting to live this way i fear im near my limit i havent reached it but who knows when i will#i sometimes dream of doing it and leaving behind a note wishing nothing but painful suffering to everyone i ever knew irl but i dont want to#do that to my best friends and my dog but who knows how long its left before the thread breaks#thats all like comment and subscribe if you personally would do me a favor by taking me out back and shooting me
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long day yesterday 💤
#saw my sister 🤍#was nice even if it wasn’t very long#lots of driving and walks in the fog#in numerous locations#through the commons was my favorite though#I’ve been tired like deep soul tired for days#the rain doesn’t help#christmas stress and overworked probably I push myself too much at times#and my days off are always rainy and shitty#a nice sunny day would fix me#I’ll keep the fog though#yesterday was nice#I forget sometimes how much relief and happiness she brings just seeing her face and hearing her voice#my nephew is so cute too#he’s so sweet and chill and had cute little cowboy boots I wanted to steal and wear#mine
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Void Construct
#prinia qin#prinia can draw sometimes#i realised i hadn't made an actual image for her yet#idk if i'll keep it up#i haven't slept in 22 hours but it looks fine to me#if it really looks bad when i have a functioning brain then i'll take it down#but her face is made of silly putty so maybe it's ok#i told myself i was gonna make actual content and all i've done since then is draw my tenno#i have transcended the need for sleep#hhhhhhhnngh#i'm having fun with her tho#i've had 4BLOOD by Kira on loop for like#5 hours#i need help#drifter#warframe#warframe fanart#tenno#edit: nah its fine im allowed to be cringe if i want to
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little peek at somethjing i am cooking up ...
#this is rlly rough but rn im just blocking everything out#i have like 6.5 pages sketched so far this is already going faster than last time i think..^_^#im having a blast also#im tryna rewire my brain . every time i think Blehhh i hate drawing i just want to see it done i gotta stop n correct myself#like Hey wait you actually love drawing why are you telling yourself this The process is frustrating sometimes but that comes with art#i had to redraw this one page like 4 separate times and i still didn't feel like giving up#like yeah i was feeling pressed but at the same time i was being patient with myself#like this is part of improving Stop laying on the floor and wondering why you're even doin this you've always loved it#only drawing when u know it's gonna turn out good defeats the whole purpose of learning#also i added cal last minute to this comic and im gladi did he's so creeepy#im very excited to get this done Not impatient like i was before#im impatient for people to see it yeah lol but not w myself#and im not gonna be all like “yeah we'll see how long this lasts lol” bc i think that's already setting myself up for burning out#i have hope that i can keep enjoying art like this I just need to change the way i think#and accept the messy n ugly. the perfect is the enemy of the good#aaron blaise really inspires me. he sincerely loves what he does and i want to be like that#this is also gonna be more comic-like Panelwise i think#scott pilgrim n my bro inspired me#also the way cal's face cuts off on the right makes sense in context he's peekin from behind a chair
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