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quixoticall · 3 months

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This Could Get Ugly Track 1: Before the Beginning

Summary: It's 1983 and The Downsides need another lead singer and you just happen to need a band--it's a perfect match. The only issue? You have to pretend to be in a relationship with your bandmate, Steve Harrington, but you can't help but be drawn to the band's broody guitar player.

pairing: s.h. x fem!reader, e.m. x fem!reader, j.b. x n.w.

warnings: It's the Daisy Jones and the Six!AU, Enemies to friends to lovers, Love triangles, sex, drugs, rock and roll, etc., fake relationships, bad parents all around, era-typical misogyny and sexism, mentions of reader's looks (as being very beautiful), partially interview format, no use of YN

AN: Hi, if you're a longtime TCGU reader, please read this note from me explaining this new format. If this is your first time coming across This fic, welcome! Please enjoy my attempt at a Daisy Jones and the Six!AU with some Fleetwood Mac-messiness thrown in.

MASTERLIST🎸

Prologue 🎤

WC: 8.6K

***

STEVE: Right, so I just start talking into this microphone thing?

INTERVIEWER: Yes, but you need to introduce yourself first.

STEVE: You know who I am, we’ve known each other for—ah, okay, okay sorry. I’m Steve. Harrington, obviously. Former lead singer and guitarist of The Downsides. So, uh, where do I start?

INTERVIEWER: The beginning—tell me about how you first got involved with music.

STEVE: Right, okay, I can do that. I grew up kinda lonely. My dad was this big real estate investor but we lived in Indiana of all places, so he was always traveling. I don’t think I remember him ever being home for more than a month straight growing up… and my mom was there but she wasn’t there, ya know? She drank a lot and spent a lot of time in bed, that sort of thing.

***

1962-1972, Los Angeles California

Your childhood is a lonely one but it’s also a boring and predictable one.

Born in sun-soaked LA to a movie director father and his much younger model wife, two people who didn’t know each other well enough to either love or hate the other. They maintained a similar distance in their marriage as the one they tried to uphold in their individual relationships with you, their child.

So, your infancy was spent in a rotation of different nanny’s arms with your parents’ presence only dotting the periphery of your life. Who could blame them, after all? Infants are so contrived and boring compared to the big, wide, world of art that was Los Angeles in the 1960s. Your parents were far too busy trying to cement their legacy in the art they created and inspired to spend too much time looking after you.

(Much later in life, you would find yourself wondering if your parents ever saw the irony in the fact that your art ended up eclipsing their entire existence in the end and their only legacy was that of being your parents.)

As a child, however, you spent little time thinking of legacy and instead spent your time trying to feel less lonely.

***

STEVE: When I was a kid I would wonder why my parents even had me. Sorry, that’s like a total bummer thing to say during an interview. But it’s true. And you said to tell the truth. I never felt wanted by them. Until I got famous, and even then… but that’s not new, a lot of kids grow up feeling lonely, right?

***

The employees who raised you were nice enough, but they saw you for what you were: a means to an end. A paycheck with big, sad, beautiful eyes that may beget sympathy, but they couldn’t get too close to. The children you came to meet at your elite California private school seemed palatable enough at first, but the more you interacted with them, the more you found yourself at a loss. It was like they spoke a secret language you did not know—a language of price tags, and ever-changing hierarchies and thinly-veiled insults. One that your mother spoke perfectly, but never bothered to pass down to you.

You end up turning to books instead. The home library your father kept up for appearances’ sakes became your favorite room in the house and your teenage growth spurts were fed by any and all novels you could get your hands on from historical biographies to soapy romances, you read them all. You loved them all, but you loved poetry the most— emotive and raw in ways you were unfamiliar with. You liked the way the syllables rolled gracefully into one another and how each word served a purpose—compact with meaning and so unlike the people around you who were so careless with their words.

As you began to age, and the meaningless mess of childhood shifted into the sharpness of adolescence, you began to write yourself. One day, somehow you had the idea of putting your poetry to music. If you could write songs good enough to be played on the radio then maybe you could earn people's adoration through your art like your parents had, you reasoned. Maybe you could even earn their adoration. You beg your parents for piano lessons, and they scoff at the thought. “But what’s the point of having one if no one can play it?” You ask, referencing the piano in the grand foyer.

“That piano is not meant to be played,” your mother explains, slowly, “it’s meant to be admired by our guests.”

She walks away from the conversation before you can even protest.

Instead of giving up, though, you went to the library and borrowed all the books you could on music and piano playing and slowly began to teach yourself. You were not very good, at first, and both your parents made a habit of reminding you whenever they were around to hear you practicing. Luckily, they were rarely around.

***

STEVE: My parents signed me up for every single activity and extra-curricular you can think of: karate, basketball, pottery. The one that really stuck though, was guitar lessons. Soon, that was the only thing I wanted to do it was something I was actually good at. Not something I had potential in, not something I was passable at. It was something I was good at. My dad did not like the idea of me going into music at first—he wanted me to take on a “manlier” hobby—but even he couldn’t deny that I was talented, and he sent me to this specialized music school in Indianapolis. That’s where I met Robin. That’s when I stopped feeling so alone.

ROBIN: Robin Buckley, brass, bass, and synth for The Downsides.

I met Steve when we were thirteen, I think, at this fancy music school in Indianapolis. I was there on scholarship. I’m not going to lie, he was obnoxious, but most thirteen-year-old boys are. Even then, though, there was something about him that made everyone want to be his friend. He was also really talented. He never had to work very hard to be good at something, but he worked hard anyway. I hated him at first, but he wore me down and we eventually became best friends.

***

1978

Your music became a good outlet for all your loneliness and anger and disappointment, but it was not a cure for any of those things. You craved friendship and commonality and to be liked beyond the surface.

One day, when you were towards the end of seventeen, you decided to go exploring. You had heard Emily Cooke whispering salaciously in the girls’ bathroom at school about sneaking into the Whiskey A Go-Go to see The Six playing and an idea began to blossom.

Your home was only a walking distance from the Strip, the aptly named piece of street that was lined with clubs and musical venues, so that day, after hearing Emily’s plan you decided to try your luck at the Whiskey. You loved music, after all, and you wanted to be good at it, like the musicians that played there. Plus, there were others that shared those interests and the was a chance that some of them would be more tolerable than Emily Cooke.

You waited in line, by yourself, donning an outfit that you hoped made you look older than you were in an organic, cool way. When you made it to the doorman, you smiled trying to look more confident than pleading. His eyes raked over your body once, then twice and you resist the urge to flinch away. You had known then that you were beautiful—mostly because it was the only thing your mother valued in you— but what you hadn’t known was how far just being beautiful could get you. The doorman had let you in the club, not even questioning when your voice wavered while you had told him you were older than you actually were.

***

ROBIN: Don’t tell anyone I told you this, but Steve was my first kiss.

INTERVIEWER: Uh, Robin?

ROBIN: Oh, right…. Well, whatever, Steve Harrington was my first kiss. He was also the first person I told that I liked girls. I knew from a really early age that I didn’t find men attractive but when Steve kissed me at our high school dance I had this immediate realization and I sorta burst out, “Steve, I like girls.” It was a really great moment of self-awareness for me—growing up as a girl, they always try to put you in this box of like feminity and being whatever men wanted you to be, including an object to be looked at or pawned over. I didn’t know how being gay fit into all that, until that moment.

I don’t think it was that great of a moment for Steve, though.

STEVE: She told you about that? Well, for the record, it wasn't that I wasn't happy for her, it's just when you're a teenage boy and if your first crush admits she's a lesbian moments after you kiss her for the first time, well, it does not do your ego any favors, does it?

***

The moment you walked through that door, your life became severed in two: the before and the after. You watched, from the fringe of the crowd, as Billy Dunne crooned soulfully, and the audience sang his own words back to him.

You briefly imagine yourself on the stage, being someone that people would actually want to come see, someone that people would listen to. Someone people would love.

***

STEVE: I always knew I wanted to be in music. It was the only thing that ever made sense. Wait, no, that’s not right… It’s the only thing that ever made life make sense. So, I started working at it, like seriously working it at, when I was 16. I bought as many records as I could, figured out what I liked, what I could do, and I practiced all the time. Like all the time. Robin did, too. I would play the guitar and sing, and she was insane on the trumpet and bass. I don’t think we ever sat down and had a conversation about whether we wanted to form a band or even what we wanted for ourselves in the future. We just always knew it was going to be the two of us, and we were going to be making music. Of course, you can’t have a band with only a guitar and a trumpet, so we had to start looking for more members.

***

1980

From that point on, your life had purpose.

You began to study everything about music—obsessively. You collected records, you played the piano until your fingers became cramped and sore or until your mother yelled at you to stop.

You filled notebook after notebook with lyrics, some good, many bad.

But you also kept your eyes on the tabloids and the gossip rags and the fashion magazines. To be a successful musician, you had to be good of course, but you also had to be well-liked. Growing up in the environment you did had given you a very unique perspective on this. Since infancy, you had seen hopeful artists-to-be approach your father for a chance, or ask your mother for advice. The most successful of them were not always the ones who had the best things to say, but those who said what they had to say in the best way.

You practiced giving fake interviews in front of your mirror and in the shower. You stayed on top of trends and bought the best-fitting clothes. And most importantly, you tried to associate yourself with all the right people.

By the time you turned 18, you were well-known, even beyond the Strip. Photos of you standing next to the bass player/drummer/guitarist/lead singer of whatever band might have been riding a momentary wave of popularity at the time began to appear in tabloid magazines.

Most of them were men. Most of them wanted something out of you. You became a master in the art of giving just enough for them to think they had a chance with you if it meant that you could learn from them or convince them to listen to one of your songs. But every time you would even mention the idea that you wrote music, you would come hit a wall of patronizing, feigned interest followed by a grab at your chest.

Then came Jason Carver. Lead singer of the Letterman’s, Jason Carver. You dated him for a few weeks, right after you had turned 18. He was 25 and just charming enough for you to overlook his frequent condescension. Plus, he had promised that he would teach you a few chords on the guitar.

One day, you had come over to his apartment and he was getting all worked up because the band’s label was on his ass about writing a song and he couldn’t quite get it right. He needed to write a love song, something introspective and sweet but Jason could only churn out party anthems and songs meant to be played in dive bars.

Eventually, after hearing him gripe for what seemed like an eternity, you sent him off to take a shower and in the meanwhile compiled all of his shreds of half-lines and began to work filling in the gaps. Forty minutes later, you had a solid chorus and first verse to present to him for a song you thought should have been called “All At Once”. You thought that this would’ve made him happy, after all, you had gotten him one step closer to a possible song. (And maybe, you had secretly hoped, in all of his gratitude he could be swayed to give you a writing credit on the song). Instead, he laughed at you like you were a child pretending to do an adult task and asked you to leave with a hasty promise that he would call you later that week. He never called. The hurt you felt was only a pin-prick. Six months later, you heard The Letterman’s on the radio: a new song by them called, “All At Once”. You tried to convince yourself for a moment that there would be no way that Jason could blatantly steal your song after having mocked you for even trying to write. But, boy, were you wrong. Those were, in fact, your lyrics, on the radio. Yes, the band had added another verse but, ultimately, your lyrics were all there. The same lyrics Jason had so easily dismissed six months prior.

That was when you realized if you were going to get ahead in the industry, you were going to have to play dirty, like Jason Carver.

***

ROBIN: We met Argyle in Chicago. Once we graduated high school Steve and I started working as subs for small bands in the Midwestern circuit. Yes, it was as grim as it sounds, but it paid the bills and helped us meet people. Argyle was the drummer of some Reggae band that needed a bass player for a few weeks when their bassist got arrested on possession charges. I subbed in and was immediately super impressed by his skills. People always underestimated Argyle, to this day, because of the whole vibe he gives off, you know? But he’s smart and adaptable. Anyway, when his bassist lost his case, the band broke up indefinitely and I tried my best to convince Argyle to join Steve and me. There were two of us, we’d never played an official gig, and we didn’t even have a name, but Argyle said yes. Next was Nancy. We held open auditions for a keyboardist once Argyle was onboard. After five passable auditions, Nancy Fucking Wheeler walks in in this long skirt and bows in her hair. She had a book of Debussy sheet music for God’s sake. I almost burst out laughing when I saw her because I thought she must have been lost but then, in true Nancy Wheeler fashion she blew us all away. Ugh, was that woman talented. And gorgeous. Steve’s jaw had to be crane-lifted off the floor, it was love at first sight.

STEVE: It was not. She’s exaggerating.

1980

Ironically, you met Murray Bauman at one of your parents’ parties.

You knew he was a music producer for Starcourt Records because he kept loudly boasting to his date about it. The same Starcourt Records that the Letterman’s were signed on to.

You waited until he was two gin martinis in and standing alone admiring your father’s latest art purchase before you approached.

“Hello,” you said, brandishing a dazzling smile, your whole body angled and ready to perform this familiar dance.

“Aren’t you the producer for the Letterman’s?”

He shot you a grin that borders on swarmy and said, “why yes, I am and you look like you’re out past your bedtime.”

You didn’t react to his statement and instead marched onwards, “I loved their latest song, ‘All At Once’ right? It’s so romantic.”

“Between you and me, I’m not sure how Carver popped that one out, he’s a bit of a meathead if you catch my drift.”

He didn’t wait to see your reaction before laughing at his own joke.

“Yeah, actually, I’m not surprised to hear that considering I dated him,” your eyes flashed in a way that you hoped came off as dangerous, “and that I wrote that song.”

He regarded you for a moment before breaking out in a laugh. When he saw your expression remained unchanged, he stepped back in assessment.

“Oh shit, you’re being serious.”

You only nodded grimly.

“Okay, well that’s a new one. Usually, girls come up claiming that one of those idiots impregnated them, not this.”

He regarded you again, searching for a trace of a lie. He sighed, “So let’s say that you did write the song, which, knowing what I know about those Neanderthals, I am willing to entertain the possibility of this being at least partially true, then what does that mean? You’re going to blackmail Starcourt? Do you want money?”

You gestured vaguely behind you, sure that he must have known who your parents were. “I don’t need money.”

“Then, what is it?”

“I write music. Obviously. I want to write for your label.”

A grin broke out across his face, “Oh, boy.” He started to laugh: a deep chuckle that floated up from his belly.

“You and every other Joe Schmoe in Hollywood, sweetie.”

“But not every other Joe Schmoe wrote a song for one of your most popular bands.”

Murray regarded you again, he gave you a look you’re all too familiar with. One that says he did not expect such a fight in such an unassuming package.

“Here’s the deal,” you start, taking his brief lapse to pounce, “all I want is for you to take my demo tape and listen to it, like actually listen to it. Do that and we never have to mention this again.”

“And if I say no to your little proposition?”

You smile at his question before offering a small piece of paper, “Then here’s the business card to my lawyer he’ll be reaching out.”

This, puzzlingly, makes the man burst out laughing once again.

“Let me get this straight, you just want me to listen to your tape? That’s the grand blackmailing scheme? No record deal, no music video?”

You shake your head in response, “No, I think my music speaks for itself. I just need to get it in front of the right person.”

Murray’s still chuckling to himself as he extends his hand out signaling for you to drop the tape you are now holding in his hands.

“Fine, but you are one shitty blackmailer.”

You were signed to Startcourt Records a month later.

***

STEVE: Once Nancy joined, we were a band, and so we needed a name. I suggested the Steve Harrington experience but the girls shot me down like, right away. We ended up fighting about names for like an hour. It was actually Argyle who ended up coming up with our name. The Downsides, he had said, since we were all so negative about everything. He had said this after Robin had said I was 'all hair and no brain'. Not the best of origin stories, I guess. But we liked it and that’s how we became The Downsides.

***

NANCY: Nancy Wheeler, former keyboardist for The Downsides.

I had been playing piano since I was eight, it was just one of those things my parents signed me up for to make me more well-rounded for college applications but I ended up loving it more than they had hoped.

I auditioned for the band on a whim, I was going to Indiana State at the time, getting my teaching degree but I loved playing the piano more than I would ever love being a teacher. To be honest, when I auditioned, I didn’t think they were going to take me, not even after I saw they had another girl in the band. Don’t get me wrong, I knew I had the talent for it, I just didn’t necessarily give off Rock and Roll vibes, but they accepted me anyway.

I had a feeling Steve liked me from the moment we met, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t attracted to him then. He’s Steve Harrington for God’s sake. Girls had posters of him up on their walls for the better part of the 80s. I just—I didn’t want people to think I got the spot because I was involved with the lead singer. I wanted people to know that I earned my place through talent. Steve was really disappointed when I turned him down, but he was always really respectful about it.

That didn’t mean he stopped being interested or that I didn’t feel his eyes on me during every rehearsal in the summer of ‘81.

1981

Of course, you knew that when you had been signed to Starcourt Records it wasn’t completely because of your talent.

You had started to wonder, however, if Starcourt had given you a shot because they didn't want to risk litigation or maybe because those record execs had seen your name floating around in a magazine or, more importantly, your picture.

The more you thought about it, the more insecure about your place you had felt, like an imposter among others who had earned their spots. But, after one week of rubbing shoulders with the musicians over at Starcourt, you realized that to be able to make it, you were going to have to ooze confidence, even if that confidence was fake.

***

NANCY: We started playing gigs together around the Midwest. In the beginning, we mostly played covers but eventually, we started writing our own music. I’m not a great songwriter and, to be frank, neither is Steve, so a lot of the stuff we were coming up with was pretty simple but it worked for us. We went from playing weddings to actually getting gigs that paid money. I mean it was barely enough to cover gas to get there but it was something. I guess, for the sake of transparency, there is one more thing I have to talk about while we’re talking about this time in the band’s life.

Steve and I spent a lot of time writing music together. It was great, being able to get close. I thought we were becoming friends. He was still a bit hung up, though and one night, when we were up late writing at his tiny apartment, he kissed me. And I kissed him back.

The next day, I told him that that couldn’t happen again. I gave him my reasons and he respected that but still, I could tell he was crushed. I think that between the kiss and us having this talk, he had begun to hope that something would happen between us.

I think that’s what made me and Jonathan hurt him so much more.

1982

You didn’t necessarily like Murray when you first began to work with him but you did trust him. In the professional capacity at least. He never tried anything with you, which you appreciated although that bar was abysmally low.

You hadn’t known what to expect on your first day in the studio but you had a feeling that as far as the music was considered, you were in decent hands.

Boy, were you fucking wrong.

The moment you had stepped into the studio, Murray had handed you a stack of music, all unfamiliar and definitely nothing you had written.

“What’s this?” You had asked, eyes crinkling in confusion.

“A few contenders for an EP. The team over at marketing came up with some branding concepts and this is what we landed on.”

He then pulled out a thick folder overflowing with pictures of what you assumed the studio had wanted to mold you into. It was all bubblegum and teased hair and not at all what you had envisioned.

“Wait, Murray, I don’t understand. I have a brand, one that I've spent a lot of time curating along. This isn't me and this is definitely not my music. You said I could sing the music that I’ve written.”

“Oh, sweetheart,” Murray hummed, condescendingly, “I never said that.”

“Well, if I can’t sing my music then I just won’t sing at all.” You were the full image of a petulant child, arms crossed and lips dangerously close to a pout.

Murray feigned concern for a moment before hunching down so that he was at eye level with you.

“You signed a contract,” he spoke slowly, “Starcourt owns you, and if you don’t like it, then talk to a judge.”

He turned away from you, leaning against the mixing console. He speaks again after what seems like an eternity.

“Listen, sweetheart, I’m not saying it’s ethical or right, but if you want to make it in music, you got to play the game. You can’t come in here, swinging your metaphorical dick around, calling the shots when you haven’t proven you can rake in the dough.

“Sure, you’ve got talent, but who doesn’t? Right now, there’s a line of girls around the block who can sing and write and are probably better at following directions, waiting to take your spot.

"Plus, I read the songs you sent over, you have some good lines but there's not a single song worth attaching Starcourt's name to. Take this as an opportunity to learn, to be better, to actually work for something for the first time in your life. You have nothing right now, so nothing is below you, not even this pop dribble they're giving you to sing.

"I’m not saying it’s always gonna be this way, but you have to prove to them that you can play before they take you seriously, and then if you got what it takes, you can start writing your own music. Hell, if you make them enough money, they’ll let you play the fucking didgeridoo and go out in a nun’s habit… well, maybe not the habit, but the point stands. So, can we stop acting like the spoiled princess we are for just one afternoon and get to rehearsing?”

You snatched the book of songs from his outstretched hand and with a smile on your face, tore it down the middle before stomping off.

It had taken five days of Murray, along with various other executives at Starcourt, pounding on your door at the Chateau Mormont—the hotel that was your permanent residence since you had turned 18— before you had even considered setting foot in Starcourt again.

All it took was a gift basket full of Champagne and half a dozen threatening letters from their legal team.

***

NANCY: Jonathan came on as our second guitarist. I remember when he came to the audition he was this quiet, super shy kid who barely managed to make eye contact, but once he had a guitar in his hands, he had this way of coming alive. He wasn’t a showman like Steve, but he was electric when he played.

We—I never meant for things to turn out the way they did but with Jonathan, it wasn’t much of a choice. I know this sounds so cliche, but we were drawn to each other. I remember, during rehearsals, even before we really knew each other, he and I would lock eyes from across the room and I would know exactly what he was thinking.

Soon, we were sneaking around together. We were getting more and more serious, it was only a matter of time, honestly, before the others found out. Jonathan wanted to come clean early on, he could tell it was causing me so much stress, but I didn’t want to tell anyone else. Part of it, was Steve, of course, but also, what Jonathan and I had felt precious and personal and ours. I wanted to stay in this bubble we had built for ourselves.

Of course, it was Steve and Robin who eventually caught us, making out in Jonathan’s car after rehearsals one day.

To say that Steve took it hard is probably an understatement. He skipped rehearsal for five straight days and when he showed up he had this new song he had written, this ballad called, “Regret You”.

“If I never had you, then why can’t I forget you / I hate myself because I could never regret you.”

Yeah, that was an awkward one to rehearse but, to his credit, it was a great song. It was the song that got us noticed.

1982

You had spent months recording your first EP, a five-song collection the studio had decided to name “The Setlist”. It was meant to be a play on your groupie status, or at least that’s what some intern over in the marketing department had claimed, a little too proud of himself for your liking.

While you couldn't ignore the sense of accomplishment that bubbled below the surface, you mostly felt empty.

The whole thing made you think of your father, whom you hadn't spoken to in years but had a very staunch view on artistic integrity. He despised artists who 'carelessly churned out poor imitations of real art for money'. "To make art is as close as one can get to being god," he had explained to you once, with self-important tears in his eyes, "why would anyone sell that off? Art should mean something to the artist. Otherwise, they are a peddler of fake divinity."

Your father had never had to worry about money a day in his life.

That empty feeling was only exacerbated when, the Friday after you had officially finished recording, Murray had invited you to lunch with a particular proposition in mind.

“No, Murray, not gonna happen. Over my dead body and all that,” you spat from across the table.

“Listen, I don’t want to pull the contract card on you, but I will,” he warned with no real heat as he swirled his gin martini in one hand.

“Nice try,” you mirrored his pose, martini and all, “but the contract doesn't cover this, only original work. Not duets. You know that, I know that, so why don’t you try again and give me one good reason why I would even consider a duet with The Letterman’s.”

Murray gave you a look you had come to familiarize yourself with—one that was equal measures of pride and annoyance. It was the look he gave you whenever you bested him.

“How about the fact that they’re one of the hottest acts right now and being on a track with them would guarantee you a spot on the charts which is a great place to be at any point in time, but especially when you’re about to release an EP?”

Your face dropped in the way it only did when you knew Murray was right about something you didn’t want him to be right about. A look he had been starting to familiarize himself with.

"Fine, I’ll do it, but I want to spend as little time as possible with Jason. He’s a pompous ass.” “No disagreements there, sweetheart.”

The day you were scheduled to record with Jason and the rest of his band, he was an hour late. You hadn’t doubted for a moment he had done this on purpose.

When he finally had shown, he pretended not to know you, a game you had quickly caught on to, and made sure to respond with, “It’s so nice to meet you, Jackson” after he made a show of introducing himself to you which made the rest of his band and Murray guffaw.

Jason narrowed his eyes at you, his voice struggling to stay level, and said, “Watch it. We’re the ones doing you a favor here, remember?”

“I did you one first,” you responded, your eyes meeting his gaze, “remember?”

It had taken 20 minutes for his bandmates to calm him down, but eventually, the two of you got into the booth.

Your only priority had been to do your best job in as few takes as possible because you did not know how much longer you could tolerate being in Jason’s presence.

In the end, after a two-hour session, Murray had sent you both home, either happy with the finished product or at his wit’s end with the tension. Either way, three weeks later you had a duet with The Letterman’s called “It Was You” and just as Murray had predicted, it was quick to climb the charts.

You were getting noticed.

***

NANCY: Not long after Steve wrote “Regret You” we got noticed by a scout from Starcourt Records. I think at first we thought it was some sort of scheme, but it was legit. They had us record a few demos and in something like six months, they moved us to a house in Culver City.

The whole thing had felt like some sort of fever dream. I had to quit school and tell my parents. They didn’t even know I was in a band. Or seeing anybody. Needless to say, they didn’t take any of it well. When we got to LA, we did more test recordings and they even had us playing some shows at a few clubs on the strip.

Like I said: total fever dream.

But, when you’re under the thumb of a label like that, there are certain stipulations. One of the first things they told us was that they wanted to make our sound more modern and pop. We kinda

had an alternative, experimental sound back then. They said synth was going to be the new thing so they wanted Robin to learn how to play the synthesizer which meant that on certain songs, Jonathan would have to take over for bass. Also, they wanted Steve to be more of a frontman and less of a guitar player. Steve could always work a crowd, and they wanted to use that, especially with this new sound they had envisioned for us. All of this meant we needed another guitar player and, believe it or not, the label already knew who that was going to be. Eddie Munson.

***

EDDIE: Okay, here we go.

I’m Eddie Munson, lead guitar for The Downsides.

I grew up trailer trash in some town that no one’s ever heard of. My mom died when I was eight and my dad was in and out of jail pretty much my entire life--well, until those royalty checks started rolling in, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

People always use the dead mom/jailbird dad thing to either turn me into a sob story or villainize me, so I generally tend to avoid talking about it but since it's you, I'll say this: the thing I remember most about my mother is her absence and there is not a single redeeming thing about ole' Munson Sr. but I don't think they're responsible for any of the ways I've fucked up over the years. Nah, kid, that was all me.

Let’s get to the good stuff, shall we?

At the tender age of ten, I was gifted an old beat-up guitar by my uncle. Clearly, something he had picked up at the local Goodwill to try and keep me occupied and out of trouble. The neighbors hated us after. They hated us, even more, when it turned out that I could actually play.

When I was 18, Uncle Wayne got the idea that I was ready to commit to a life of indentured servitude over at the factory and that did not sit well with me, at all. I wanted to be a musician. But, instead of talking to him about it, you know, like a rational person? I just ran.

I sold my van and got a one-way ticket to LA. The metal scene was starting to pop up on the strip and music—metal—was the only thing I was good at, so I thought, ‘what the hell!’ and booked it. I slummed it for a few months and then, through some stroke of luck, I heard about a band that was auditioning for a new guitar player since their last one got hitched and quit. The Metal Gods smiled down on me the day of the audition because that same afternoon they called me back and told me they wanted me on as lead guitar.

1982

“It Was You”, your duet with The Letterman’s peaked at number 6 on Billboard’s Top 100 in October of 1982.

Suddenly, everyone wanted you to be featured in their songs. Your EP did well enough, but it didn’t even crack the top 30. That didn’t keep you from being the hot new thing on the scene and a

huge part of that was your reputation.

Of course, people knew who you were because of your groupie days, and you unintentionally built a reputation for being romantically involved with different musicians. So, when you broke out on the scene with a romantic duet, people started talking, and the tabloids began to spin stories about you and Jason being romantically linked which only caused a buzz for the song. You, of course, hated this and vehemently denied being involved with Jason to anyone who would listen. Jason, meanwhile, played it coy with the press, only fueling the rumors and your rage.

“Listen, I hate the guy as much as you do, sweetheart, but you got to respect the strategy,” Murray had said after hearing you gripe about one particularly salacious headline.

Before the year was through, you had been featured in five other duets. All with male artists. All resulting in more and more outlandish dating rumors. And all enjoying a lengthy stay on the top of the charts.

Starcourt had begun to push you to take it a step further and Brenner had asked for Murray to arrange outings between you and whatever male artist you were collaborating with. The meetings—you refused to call them dates—were always somewhere that was strategically public, somewhere where there was always at least one paparazzi with their cameras locked and ready. The pictures they would take would always make it to at least one gossip magazine, which resulted in even more publicity for the song.

Your partners—you refused to call them dates—were, at their best, cordial and business-like, one or two of them even asked for your permission before holding your hand. At their worst, though, they were handsy, entitled, and rude. None of them ever tried to ask you out on a real date and you weren't sure what that said about you.

Soon you were racking up duets and notoriety in equal measures. Radio DJs would make jokes about you every time they would play one of your songs—and they played your songs a lot. Once, while you were walking around Rodeo, a woman stopped you in the middle of the street and told you, very brazenly, that you needed to stop sleeping around so much. Before you could even tell her off, though, she proceeded to gush about how much she loved your duet with The Letterman's.

It seemed like everyone seemed to see you in a similar light though: they thought you were some sort of despicable maneater but all they wanted was more of a reason to talk about how you were a despicable maneater.

Murray had his work cut out for him, “We just need to find a way for you to have this same buzz all the time.”

***

EDDIE: Things started to pick up with Corroded Coffin. We were playing shows pretty much every night. As I said, metal was on the rise and we were at the forefront. Eventually, record label bigwigs had no choice but to acknowledge that.

Some of them got smart and started poaching bands early on, like Starcourt. Corroded Coffin signed with them in ‘82. We thought we were hot shit after that.

There’s a certain lifestyle that goes along with that, though, you know? A reputation that you have to uphold.

I'm not trying to make excuses for myself here, trust me. I'm just...trying to explain myself.

People always love to talk shit. They'll call you all sorts of names before they see you as an actual person. Trust me, I would know. But, these interviews are an opportunity to set the record straight, to finally be seen as an actual person.

So, there I was, a nineteen-year-old kid from Bumfuck nowhere, finally making it big, finally feeling like I belonged somewhere--like for the first time I wasn't a freak whose mom died or some trailer trash high school dropout--of course, I was gonna get swept up in it all. Of course, I was going to start picking up the bad habits and doing drugs. There was no one there to tell me otherwise.

It started out as something to get us through the madness that was our schedule: between the live shows and the studio time, we needed uppers just to keep us on our feet. Then, obviously, you needed the downers so you could fucking relax because the uppers made you so tense.

I stopped enjoying the drugs pretty early on, but at that point quitting wasn't something that I was willing to put that much effort into.

1983

The first time someone asked for your autograph, you were at a show at Whiskey a Go Go. Murray, acting as a sort of manager, had set up a photo opp with Charles Riva, your latest duet partner. He hadn’t shown that night but you never walked away from a live show.

Two girls, not much younger than you, appeared behind you as you were ordering at the bar and tapped you on the shoulder.

“See, I told you it was her,” the shorter one, a strawberry blonde with severe bangs whispered excitedly to her friend, a taller brunette.

Before you could ask either of them exactly what they wanted, the strawberry blonde spoke again, “Can we have your autograph?”

You could only nod dumbly as they handed you a cocktail napkin and a pen. You tried to think of something meaningful to write, but in your shock, could only come up with “Best wishes, xoxo”. You didn’t even ask them their names. The best you could do was offer to buy them a drink, which they happily accepted.

You regretted the offer as soon as you registered how young they looked underneath all that makeup, an observation that made you unsettlingly sad. You were reminded of your first days on the Strip: lonely and young and wanting someone to notice you for the right reasons.

Your thoughts became too heavy to deal with at that particular moment and you abruptly excused yourself, leaving the two confused girls behind. A shame, you thought to yourself, in another life you might’ve all been friends, but no one really wants to be your friend these days. They just want to tell people they’re your friends. Walking away saves everyone the disappointment.

You needed a drink.

By the time the main act had taken the stage, your vision had started to haze at the edges as a result of the multiple drinks you had procured for yourself. You watched, half-interested as a band you’d never heard of, Corroded Coffin took the stage, your eyes tracing after each member, eyeing the things only a fellow musician would: the models of equipment they had, the way the band queued each other up.

You didn't know enough about metal yet to know whether you'd consider yourself a fan or not but even with the little familiarity you have, you can tell this band is good. Their playing is unpolished but overflowing with energy and the crowd is feeding into it, screaming the lyrics along with the lead singer.

All of it reminds you of your first show at the Strip—what seemed ages ago—and that memory summons a whole other thought entirely: the reason that you had gotten into music was to actually make music you liked, not to be a topic of discussion in a gossip magazine, getting no say in the music you created.

You don't even remember the last time you had even written a lyric.

You think to yourself that maybe you should wander backstage after the show, like you once did and talk to the band. Maybe you could pick their brains about songwriting. They clearly didn’t care about mass appeal if they were making metal music which means they were probably doing it for the art.

At the very least they probably had a decent stash of pills.

Either way, it would be worth it.

***

EDDIE: It was pretty much love, at first sight, the moment I saw her in the crowd that night at Whiskey a Go Go. I remember seeing her for the first time halfway through our set and it was like I went blind for a moment. I had completely forgotten what I was doing, I think I even missed a cue. After the show, I made a beeline for the bar where she was standing, trying to act as cool as I could but I was shitting it.

***

Once that band had wrapped up, you made your way to the dressing rooms. You maneuvered to the dressing rooms like you had dozens of times before, but the band wasn’t there.

You milled about for a bit, before growing bored and leaving wondering if maybe they had seen you coming and left.

***

EDDIE: I ordered a drink just as an excuse to get closer and it worked. She was even more beautiful up close and so, so kind. Told me she loved our show and even pointed out specific guitar solos of mine that she liked. She always had a way of making you feel special like that. Chrissy Fucking Cunningham. Even her name was perfect, not a syllable too few or too many.

I asked her for her number that night and we went on a date two days later, I could hardly keep it.

together having to wait two days to see her again. Then, after a few weeks, we were going steady, as the kids say. It was perfect. I never really had anyone to myself, you know? She was the first person that ever made me feel seen and cared about.

I remember one time; she was hanging out at my place while the band was in the studio. When I came back, she had done all my laundry. When I asked her why she had done that, she just said “I dunno, just because” then, all of a sudden there were tears streaming down my face. I couldn’t remember the last time someone had done something like that for me “just because".

My life had never been better--so of course, I fucked it up.

***

While you did not manage to meet Corroded Coffin, you couldn’t stop thinking about them, even days later. It was like seeing them play had awoken you from a daze you didn’t even know you had been in.

You spend a few days getting incredibly drunk by the pool after that. But no matter how much you drank or how many pretty dresses you bought yourself or how many pill you took, you could not shake the feeling.

A few mornings later, you had called Murray, “This stops now, Murray. No more duets or features or whatever else. I want to meet with Brenner. I want to do this my way.”

Murray, not used to being awake so early, gave a weak attempt at talking you down.

“No,” you urged on, “you said once I started making money, I could have a say. Well, now I’m making money and I’m tired of Starcourt just using me for that. So, I want something permanent and I want to write my own music, got it?”

“You have a contract,” Murray parroted back, half-heartedly.

“Yes, I do, and I plan to honor that contract but so help me God I will make life a living hell for you and for Brenner and any other exec that tries to get me to do another duet with Jason fucking Carver. In fact, I will find a way to lose Starcourt money if you don’t get me out of this. Am I clear?”

“Crystal.”

“Great, I’ll see you at lunch Murray.”

He signed, “See you then.”

***

EDDIE: My drug use was getting more out of hand. Chrissy hated it, but I couldn't bring myself to quit. Especially the things that I thought I needed to make it through the day.

Chrissy was a saint throughout the whole thing, until one night when she caught me in the dressing room of Whiskey with a girl who was not her. She walked away and I don’t really blame her. Out of all the regrets of my life—and trust me, kid—that was one of the biggest.

She moved out that day and refused to take my calls, moved in with one of her friends and I spent days just calling her, sending her flowers, the works.

She told me she wouldn’t budge unless I got clean. So, I checked myself into rehab. She was a good enough reason to quit. 45 days later, I checked out, clean as a motherfucking whistle.

Chrissy was gone though, I had no clue where she had disappeared to, but wherever she went, she didn’t want me to find her.

On top of that, my band was fucking pissed. I left the band for 45 days without telling anyone, right as we were finishing recording our debut album. Yeah, they weren’t happy. I was in something called “breach of contract” with the suits over at record label and they wanted to take me to court, and not the Star kind.

I definitely didn’t have lawsuit type of money back then, so it was in my best interest to work something out with Starcourt and jump back on fulfilling my contract. Problem was, Corroded Coffin didn’t want me back anymore, even though the guy they replaced me with wasn’t half as good as I was.

I thought that because my old band didn’t want me, that meant that I would be free of my contract. I was wrong. What actually happened was that my fate was then put into Starcourt’s hands and they could place me in whatever podunk production or band they wanted. They owned my ass.

And that’s how I ended up with The Downsides.

PLAY NEXT TRACK

#eddie munson x reader #steve harrington x reader #Steve Harrington x you #Eddie Munson x you #stranger things x reader #stranger things imagine #eddie munson #steve harrington #rockstar!eddie Munson #past!eddie x chrissy #nancy wheeler x jonathan byers

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good-to-drive · 11 months

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thoughts on the Harrison-Boyd-Clapton live triangle???

Oh god I have SO many thoughts lol. I was actually just talking to my best friend about this, but to put it simply I see the whole situation as an example of two people who truly love each other not belonging together because the particular ways in which they're broken go together too well.

But, to put it less simply:

I tend to think about it from Pattie's perspective, and I've always thought of her as having pretty severe eldest daughter syndrome, i.e. she was taught to value her worth by what she could provide to others. Her parents weren't super involved and she took on a lot more responsibility than most kids her age, especially when it came to her younger siblings. This quote in particular stood out to me when I was obsessing over Pattie a few months ago:

(Not sure where that's originally from btw, I've had the screenshot forever but based on formatting I think it might be brainy quote).

It's often a red flag when people say they felt older than their years, and doubly so when they were in some way parentified. We often reenact the role we played in our childhood family system in our adult relationships, and in Pattie I think this lead her to be extremely giving and self sacrificing. To the point where I'm not sure she was even aware that she HAD emotional needs, much less knew how to assert them.

To that end, although I obviously like George quite a bit, there's no denying that -- especially as a young man -- he was an incredibly needy person. (I actually think all the beatles were sort of black holes of emotional need tbh, at least in their youth. Partly because of childhood trauma but also because they were living a life that's larger and more extreme than any human being was meant to live.)

Pattie's tendency to sacrifice excessively dovetailed perfectly with George's tendency to need excessively, and as a result he totally eclipsed her entire self, until she felt utterly lost. That's neither of their fault, btw. Neither of them was emotionally mature or self aware enough to realize what was happening.

(Not to mention George was cheating like a dog and Pattie was taking it on the chin even though she knew deep down she deserved better. But former parentified children often put up with a lot of shit as adults because they believe it's their responsibility to do so.)

Then Eric comes along and literally tells her it's her fault he's addicted to heroin and if she doesn't leave George he'll die and it'll be all her fault. Aside from the fact that this is literally emotional abuse, it's also an even darker and more powerful black hole of neediness than George. And as someone whose sense of self has been eclipsed and who only knows she matters when she's of service to others, it was basically impossible not to fall into that black hole.

For his part, I think Eric was far more concerned with taking something from George than being with Pattie. I don't know enough about him to know why he'd feel the need to do that and I also really dislike him so I doubt I'll ever find out. Pattie said he got bored of her pretty much as soon as he "had" her, and tbh that doesn't surprise me.

It was honestly such a tragic thing for Pattie to be driven/dragged away from George -- personally I believe they always loved each other (she referred to him as her soulmate in her autobiography, and George made sure she knew as long as he was alive she'd have a financial parachute) -- but I also genuinely think they had to lose each other in order to find themselves.

Pattie couldn't stay in a relationship where she was fulfilling the same self sacrificing role she played as a child, and although it was a long and painful road she seems to have really found herself and found peace. She's never explicitly said this, but often people without a strong sense of self need to be on their own in order to learn how to value themselves, and she did spend a long time unmarried after Eric.

And, although George was gutted by the breakup, he was no more capable of expressing love in a healthy way than Pattie was. If they had stayed together I doubt he'd have grown into the wise and self possessed person that he ultimately became, because he simply wouldn't have had to. (Plus he never would have found Liv and I love her just as much as I love Pattie.)

In the end their relationship is fascinating and tragic to me because the things that drew them to one another so deeply were also what ultimately doomed them, and yet in the shadow of that loss they became the people they were meant to be and found their happy endings.

Thanks for the ask, and sorry for the novel 😁

#george harrison #the beatles #beatles #pattie boyd #eric clapton #ask

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lonelier-version-of-you · 2 months

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Well - even though the camerawork made me quite dizzy at times and thus I couldn't totally keep up with what was going on in each story - I thought Casualty was rather good, if also incredibly sad.

Rash's storyline made me cry tonight. It wouldn't have even occurred to me when the ep started to think that Ashok would die. I'm not sure how to feel about this: on one hand, I sort of feel like the Rash, Rida, and Ashok story deserved more emphasis throughout if this was going to be the outcome.

But on the other hand, having the Ashok story as just one of several stories running through the ep was an excellent way of making the way it turned out shocking and upsetting and sudden to the audience just like it was to Rash. As I say, it made me cry, and it's not all that common for Casualty to do that.

Neet Mohan's performance was brilliant. The way Rash just started sobbing like a scared little boy - wow. And it's just so sad to think that Rash is only about 30 or so and he's already lost both of his parents. Poor Rash.

I hope the show handles Rash's grief well. And Rida's, for that matter - she may not have known Ashok very long, but she clearly cared a lot for him and wanted to look after him. I imagine she'll feel like all of this is her fault - it's just an accident no one could have seen coming, of course, but in such a situation it would be so easy to end up thinking you caused it. Sarah Seggari was fantastic at conveying Rida's reactions tonight.

Speaking of Rash, I love how Dylan's become a sort of mentor to him. It's very sweet. I hope it continues. And while I'm not much of a big Joe McGann fan - that's another story - there was still something quite entertaining about seeing John Gaskell's fourth-cousin Wyatt!

I just like pretending every other Holbyverse character played by one of the McGanns is a relative of John's in some way. Considering we knew nothing about John's family - John himself knew nothing about his family - it's entirely possible. So I will continue to tell myself Wyatt is John's distant cousin. Although, I'm fairly sure Joe McGann has played so many guest characters that this would mean John has a lot of distant cousins who look oddly alike to one another. (Stephen and Mark, meanwhile, I think have only been in Casualty once or twice each.) Maybe all his characters are more closely related to each other than they are to John? Hm.

The Stevie story was intense. I'm not sure at all how to feel about it, or where any of it seems to be going, on a narrative level. However, I think when it came to the characterisation for Stevie this was the best ep in a while. It did very well at showing her PTSD, and it felt less like it was treating her like Henrik - i.e. making her character defined by trauma in a way that doesn't do any good for trauma survivors - than some others have. Stevie is a complex morally ambiguous character and I think, with the right effort, the show can let her stay that way while also showing more sympathetic angles to her.

I like that Ngozi is finally getting more backstory now. I'm interested to see where her storyline goes, though I don't have lots to say about it yet because we still don't know much. But I've loved Ngozi this whole time, so I'm glad she's getting more to do.

I'm not interested in a Teddy-Jodie-Cam love triangle. What is it with all these love triangles recently? I'm also not that interested in Cam in general - I don't hate him or anything, I like him well enough, he's just a bit boring to me. So I'm bored by love triangles and I'm becoming bored by Cam. I can think of much more interesting stories Teddy and Jodie could have whether separately or as a couple, than this.

Where was Max this week? I thought his absence was odd after he was so strongly involved last week.

Can Jacob please, please get a meaningful story? I'm tired of him being used as Iain's sidekick. He can do so much more than that. And I hate any scene where he talks about Faith because it just makes me think about how Faith is basically just exactly the same character as Tina was except Faith isn't acknowledged as an awful person. Sigh, again.

So, all in all: the Rash storyline is great, I have mixed feelings on the rest.

#BBC Casualty #Casualty spoilers

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rinbowaman · 11 months

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HHP - Chapter 8 "My Eden."

Surprise! Chapter 8, its a shorter chapter this time around, but still a good read. Payback...oh juicy payback is always a good thing.

Warnings: threats and intimidation. no smut but i wouldn't really consider this a friendly read because...of the threat that was issued (bitch had it coming). I really should include more here but i don't want to ruin or spoil it so...please read at your own risk (its really not that bad i just don't want to spoil anything)

But can i just say one more....I fucking love Eden. Peace!

At the café, you and Heeseung opted for a private and secluded seating space up on the second floor as you both recapped and talked about the incident with Tiff, and the scenario that ensued when you both released your respective alter-egos.

Cupping your hands around the mug of your favorite drink, you continued to stare at the foam topping, trying to think of something to say. The moment that Ethan and Eden became dormant, you and Heeseung hadn’t spoken. You both merely smiled and held hands as you fell asleep, waking up this morning was silent and a bit awkward as Heeseung cleared his throat, picking up some of the broken items in his room. You helped out, cleaning out and arranging the tables and the desk back to its original placement, before he asked if you were hungry or up for coffee, to which you nodded.

“So….” Heeseung started.

“Hmm?”

“The whole thing with Tiff…” he started. Dipping down into your gut internally, you felt terrible at thinking back of the moment where you had taken your frustration and anger out on him over what had happened on the school grounds with Tiff.

Heeseung was always so caring, gentle, and he genuinely loved you. With all of his heart.

Even with his Ethan side present, which was nearly majority of the time you’ve known him with a few exceptions, the man had mastered balancing out both entities, regardless that Ethan was a bit rougher around the edges, more outlandish and aggressive, you were his and Heeseung’s number one. You were still the priority of both. How could you treat him that way?

Just as Heeseung and Ethan loved you, so did you and Eden for the two. It was a strange phenomenon where you all were involved in some sort of morbid love triangle with you, Heeseung, and your alter egos shared and deeply cared for one another. You all were sharing one entity to another, yet it was something that, since you've experienced it, you couldn't imagine life without Heeseung or Ethan. You were pretty sure they felt the same for you and Eden.

It was very pleasant, to be able to have one partner but with two different personalities, sometimes a third as they both share the same body fifty-fifty, developing a whole different aura apart from just Ethan or just Heeseung. You were fortunate that you had the variety of experiencing both, one or the other, which made everything exciting and less dull in life. You only wish you could have developed that same middle component, yet you haven't been able to split your body and share with Eden. Each time she came out, you were rendered into losing full control as she took over.

“I’m sorr-“

“I’m sorry.” He cuts you off by apologizing first, feeling that you issuing an apology was not needed as he felt responsible for everything, especially the way it had develop into the exaggerated state it had turned into. Plus, the fact that Tiff, his ex-girlfriend, was the one that caused the offense, he didn't know how he remained reserved with his physical nature, deep down, he was enraged during the event. He never could stand it when someone disrespected you like that, it didn't matter if it was a man like Samuel, or if it was a woman like Tiff. Yet somehow he focused more on being reserved on the whole matter, mistakenly assuming that you weren't deeply hurt by the whole matter.

“Heeseung I-“

“Y/n…Tiff…I shouldn’t have let her treat you that way. I don’t like chaos or friction, and have a habit to refrain from it unless I absolutely find it necessary to get involved…which normally the Ethan side of me comes out at that point and helps me with that, but lately…I’ve been a little bit selfish in not sharing you.”

You were left silent, stunned at how open he was.

“You were right about what you said, I am too reserved and too complacent sometimes. I didn’t even think to consider how you felt because my mind was telling me that we were fine since we knew that Tiff was just spitting out lies and making a fool of herself. I normally don’t care what others think, but that still doesn’t mean that it didn't affect you.”

Sighing with a breath of relief at how calm he was displaying his apologetic nature, you looked at him with a sweet gaze and issued yours.

“I do apologize as well. I’m sorry for taking my anger out on you, I shouldn’t have done that.”

Smiling at one another, Heeseung leans his elbows on the table as he reaches across and holds your hand. You spoke out softly.

“We’ve been dating a while now and have been so good, I guess we were bound to have our first real fight, not just a small argument.”

“Yeah…and I’m fine with us having our moments where we’re going to disagree and even fight, but I don’t want it to ever happen again because of Tiff, or anyone else….If we’re going to fight, it should be over me or you. Not the rest of the world, I could care less.”

You nodded your head in agreement. He was right, you felt the same as the sense of guilt rode within you, how could you two possibly have your first major fight over someone as insignificant as Tiff? If you were going to fight with this man, it would be for him, not for anyone else.

“Let’s….never do that again. We can fight, but for each other, not against.” He calmly spoke out as he stares at your fingers intertwining with his own. You nod and issue out a gentle smile, forming the words silently, you issued out an “I love you” to him, while playfully sending him a teasing smile. He chuckles in response, stroking the back of your palm with his thumb as he tilts his head and gazes lovingly towards you.

"Whenever...we do have kids..." he started.

"Whenver?" you emphasized playfully as you pointed out his presumptuous choice of wording.

"Yeah...whenever. Its going to happen y/n, just a matter of the right time. But as far as i'm concerned, you're mine and I'm yours, and if anyone is going to give me sons and daughters, its going to be you." he noted.

He obviously took in your playful nature, yet his words and expression was far from playful in response, he was sincere and genuine....so serious. It was almost frightening...in a way that you liked.

"And if anyone is going to put sons or daughters inside you, that's going to be me." he continued, gripping your hand tightly as he slightly glared at you, expressing his firm stance on the terms of conceiving children. You were somewhat scared....but again, you liked it. You liked it whenever he was being firm on claiming you, because you loved the fact that you were his. For you to belong to anyone, you couldn't have done any better than Heeseung...or Ethan.

Continuing his original statement, he softens his gaze.

"Whenever we have kids...if we end up having a boy and a girl, we should call them Ethan and Eden."

You chuckled.

"So cliche Heeseung."

"I know...but I think it's fitting. I love all of you and you love all of me."

He continues to stroke your back palm as he stares at his tender act.

"Okay, that sounds good. I like the names anyway."

"Yeah?" He softly remarks.

"Yes." you smile back, laughing with him as you both found the turn of the conversation into a heartwarming one.

'Ethan and Eden, huh? It sounds good to me.'

The next day at school, things were less awkward as the weekend carried over the healing powers of time as everyone didn’t pay so much attention to the event that had occurred with Tiff.

You were grateful, considering the powerful and destructive makeup session between Ethan and Eden took it out of you and Heeseung, the opportunity to indulge in your own version of makeup sex was lacking as you both focused on recovering from the hickies, the small bruises, the sores and aches from the intense passion.

The day was going well...

That was until Tiff showed up at the hall in between classes as you were making your way to exit the sub building and walk over to the main one.

“Going somewhere?” She issues out a snark and snappy remark your way as you barely made eye contact with her, opting to walk past her and pay no mind to her instigations.

“I’m talking to you! Bitch!” reaching over as she hastily walks to catch up with you from behind, she knocks the two books you carried in your hands as your satchel bag remained strapped on your shoulder. Looking at her with a glare, she steps slightly forward with her hands on her hips. Everyone had nearly exited the building at this point, leaving just the two of you inside.

Unslinging the strap of your satchel, you kneel down and pick up your books, dusting them off. Your spring mini dress, one of Heeseung’s favorites, which had fitted you like a glove all apart from the subtle flare around the skirt, flows as you raise back up, and issue a stare at the girl.

“What’s your problem?” You calmly asked, narrowing your eyes. This was the first time you had any sort of confrontation with anyone, aside from that time with Samuel, you really never had issues with anyone in your entire life.

“You stay away from Ethan! I told you! He's mine! I had him first and I'm taking him back.”

A sense tingled inside you as your brow irked.

‘Strange…’

It was strange. You’ve never felt triggered at the mentioning of anything before, even with the mentioning of Ethan or Heeseung’s name, yet for some reason at that moment, as Tiff displayed her dominance at staking your man as her own, a sudden ball of energy emerged forth the second she stated Ethan’s name. The ‘urge’ was coming out.

Eden…

The feeling was foreign to you, as you’ve never felt so possessive over something…or someone. The sensation of defending your man become apparent as your visual appearance began to change slightly, you obviously had no way of seeing it, but you could tell by the look on her face as she began to furrow her brows, widening her eyes, and opening her mouth in a subtle gasping motion.

“Wh-what the fuck is wrong with your eyes? Did…did you just put on eyeliner? How did they get so dark all of a sudden? And where did that dark lipstick come from?”

Judging by her shockingly confused nature, you began to feel as if you were losing touch with your physical form as the view of watching a film came back, Eden was taking over. From what Tiff spoke out, it would appear that Eden, though sharing the same form and appearance as you, developed her own subtle flare just as Ethan did with Heeseung.

With Ethan, Heeseung’s wide eyes would become sharp, more narrow and almost murderous by the way his black iris’ would glare, yet his pupils would become visually enhanced and noticeable, and remained as small dots in the center.

His smirk was a lot more crooked than Heeseung’s subtle one; it carried a sense of danger and hidden intentions as the black lining of his almond shaped eyes would grow thicker, as if he did have eyeliner or eyeshadow on, yet upon studying it, it was clear that the visual change was all due to the powers of optical illusion. By merely tilting his head, moving or making certain expressions that he normally would not display in his gentle state, Ethan's gaze and features would look different by merely issuing looks that were enough to kill with a single glare. He appeared more alluring in a sense, and eerie with the way he issued slight habits that drastically changed his calm and friendly expression, to that of a feral one.

From the looks of it, Eden appears to do the same. For the way you began tilting your head to the side, issuing a smirk while protruding your eyes through a glare, or biting your lip hard, to the point where the blood rushing forth to the surface caused a darkened tone, they were all habits that you’ve never done with your face before, and yet, you feel it happening as the Eden side of you issues out a small chuckle.

‘That voice…’

Taking a step forward towards the girl, who appeared to be scared yet remained too proud to admit that she opened a door that should have remained shut...for her own safety.

Knowing full well that Ethan, or Heeseung for that matter, did not belong to her, they both belonged to you….and Eden, a rage grew from inside your chest. Though you knew that Tiff's words affected Eden personally more so than you, since you were more in control of your emotions, the fact that Tiff displayed the audacity to insinuate that your man belong to her, was just....

'Unforgiveable...'

Feeling the effects of going into a blackhole, you lose control as your other side takes over, noting that unlike Heeseung, whose shared his body with Ethan his entire life, you only had just began taking notice of your other half, not yet mastering the capability of sharing or splitting your body with her just as Heeseung would with Ethan, as displayed on numerous and frequent occasions. In fact, 90% of the time you've known him, Heeseung was always shared with Ethan, it was only up until recent that Heeseung was remaining in full control.

“Back up yo-“ Tiff began, but was cut off by a very harsh tone that the Eden side of you issued.

“Listen!” Eden placed a hard emphasis on the ‘s’ sound of her warning. Like a snake, the other half of you merges like Medusa as she issues a poisonous look to Tiff, who became timid as Eden kept taking her steps towards her.

"You have no right to say his name. He belongs to me, he loves me, he yearns for me and he respects me. We belong to each other, we belong just as the clouds belong in the sky.” Eden speaks out calmly, still glaring at Tiff. Feeling her back meeting the wall, Tiff felt herself backed up into a corner, issued out a scream as she glares back at Eden and snapped at her.

“Get the fuck away from me you psycho!”

“Oh? What’s wrong? Are you afraid? Are you scared of me?” Eden torments as she taunts out an eerie vocal tone, that carried the bell of a tune. It was both twisted and sweet.

Coming nearer, Eden only reaches a stopping point the moment her chest comes into contact with Tiff’s, leaning in, Eden grabs hold of the girl’s chin delicately as she looks deep into her eyes. Her nose tip touching Tiff’s.

“Wh-what are you doing? Fucking get away!” Tiff begins to panic.

“I’m telling you…the next time I hear about you speaking my Ethan’s name that way….I’ll make sure to come find you.” With a side smirk, Eden leans in closer, her hand that had gripped Tiff’s chin draws up as she suddenly grabs a thatch of Tiff’s hair in her fist, harshly, pulling Tiff in to a fierce kiss.

Like a beast feasting on its live prey, Eden roughly shoves her tongue in, harshly biting Tiff’s lips and pulling her hair tighter, causing the girl to yelp in pain and in displeasure of having ‘you’ suddenly violate her in the manner that Eden was committing.

You couldn’t lie, you were shocked upon realizing everything going down, but at the same token, it was the Eden side of you that was doing it, and from what you could already tell, your alter ego was far more bold, daring, and even perhaps, a little crazier than even Ethan.

Pulling her head back from the kiss, Eden issues out a glare, pulls Tiff’s head to the side as she bites down on the girl’s neck. It was hard, and painful. Tiff began to scream when Eden suddenly stops her assault and forces Tiff to look at her, the grip she had on her hair grew tighter as Eden tells the girl to be quiet.

“Look at me.” Eden speaks steadily at Tiff. The girl does so reluctantly. The look of fear and anger in her eyes as she was being bested by 'you'.

“I’ll eat you alive if you ever pull off what you did last week. Do you understand? You don’t know just how far I’m willing to go for that man…I live for him. I breathe because of him….and just as I’m willing to crawl on the very ground he walks on to worship him…” Eden pauses as she releases the grip she had on Tiff’s hair, only to suddenly grip the girl’s neck while digging her thumbnail into the apparent bite mark she had just made.

“If I’m willing to fuck with him whenever he fucks with me, what makes you think that I wouldn’t do the same with you? Oh but, you’re nothing like him. You lack the stamina he has, not to mention, I would never ruin him....but I would ruin you. You're not the one I love or care about...so what makes you think that I wouldn't unleash the darkest parts of my inner creativity on you?" Eden widens her eyes to enhance her malicious glare. With her steady tone issuing the final portion of her warning, Eden speaks out once more, although this time, it was near a breathless whisper as she leans into Tiff's ear, giving out the remainder of her words.

"You wouldn’t be able to take it. Trust me, I’ll have you bleeding from EVERY SINGLE HOLE in your body, to include that shameful mouth of yours. I’ll do things to you that no man has ever done or even thought of, and believe me, it’s far from pleasant.”

Slightly releasing her grip from Tiff’s neck, Eden reaches up with her thumb and harshly presses down on the bite wound that she left, dragging the pad of her finger over, smearing the blood over to the side of Tiff’s face. It was hard, and rough as Eden applied pressure by digging her finger in to Tiff’s soft cheek, stroking the crimson mark.

“Hmhmhmmm…” Eden chuckles with her mouth closed. “Hopefully I won’t see you again….for your sake….Tiffffff.” Eden drags out the girl's name as she walks away, leaving Tiff to slide her back down as she became overwhelmed by the complete unlawful act of intimidation from the girl she had just picked a fight with.

“That….that bitch..I fucking hate her!! She’s going to fucking pay for this.” Tiff whispers to herself as she harshly begins wiping her face, rushing over to the nearest lady’s room. She thought of possibly relaying the details to the main office, enforcing the girl to get suspended, yet a sudden thought came up in her head.

“No…that's even better. I’ll get you back, I’ll make sure you to ruin you!” Tiff continues to note to herself as she washes the blood stain off her face.

Meanwhile, Eden walks out, catching the sight of him, standing by his car, waiting for her….or rather, for you, to take you to the main building, she didn’t need to gain a close distance to already know that it wasn’t just Heeseung present, Ethan was there too. There was a connecting sense that the two had, for the moment that he parked the car and stepped out, he felt the presence of his Eden from within the building, drawing him out to take over and putting his Heeseung off to the side. With a playfully sinister tone in his voice, he speaks out.

“Did you have fun?” he smirks.

Smiling, Eden bites her lower lip as she lovingly stares at her soulmate. “Yes. Yes I did.”

“That’s good.” He scoffs. Had anyone been present, they would have ran at the sight of what appeared to be two slayers, both giving each other a malicious glare, yet it was filled with chaos and love as the forbidden thoughts of painful lusts grew.

“My Eden…what am I going to do with you?” He chuckles deeply as he raises his hand, caressing her cheek.

Merely smiling, playfully chuckling as if she were some child who committed an adorable act, Eden drops her books and satchel as she loops her arms around Ethan’s neck, jumping up and wrapping her legs around his waistline, in which he supported as he wraps his arms around her frame. Looking up at her face as she touches her nose tip to his, he gives her the most admiring expression as he takes a moment to appreciate the very thing he lives for.

"Do you have a kiss for daddy?" his voice teasing her as he smirks once more, under heavy lids, he gazes at her face in the most loving expression he has yet to display.

Nodding, Eden leans her head in, as Ethan relishes in the passionate kiss with the love of his life.

Tasting a hint of blood that slightly coated her lip, Ethan pulls back just a tad with his lips still intact with Edens, he smirks devilishly.

“Mmm…my Eden."

Chapter 9

#heeseung x reader #heeseung scenarios #heeseung hard thoughts #enhypen smut #enha x reader #enha heeseung #heeseung fanfic

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maya-matlin · 2 months

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Since we've talked a lot (but never enough!) about both OTH and Degrassi lately...

If you had to choose one or two Degrassi characters who are most similar to Lucas, who would they be?

One or two Degrassi characters who are most similar to Peyton?

One or two Degrassi characters who are most similar to Haley?

Same question as above for Nathan

Same question as above for our beloved Brooke (sorry for not writing out the whole question again - this site isn't letting me copy and paste, and you know I'm extraordinarily lazy!)

If you had to choose...OTH overall or Degrassi overall?

Choose your top three Degrassi OTPs, top three OTH OTPs, and then rank all six of those ships in order from your favorite to least favorite with no ties allowed :)

Three things you prefer about OTH to Degrassi AND three things you prefer about Degrassi to OTH! Or four or five or six... :)

Aw, you're so sweet. <3

1.) Similar to Lucas.. hmm. My immediate thoughts are Craig and Miles. Both have definite parental issues, particularly involving their fathers. All three of these guys move from partner to partner very quickly, rarely ever satisfied with staying single for long. They have zero shame when it comes to dating their way through the same friend group. All three like to pull out the old "you're the one for me" or "you're the only one who understands me" cards. It's not always a line, but due to the frequency it becomes less and less believable as time goes on. Both Lucas and Craig had a big, dramatic love triangle early on involving them sneaking around behind their girlfriend's back with another girl. They vowed to change their ways, never wanting to cheat again, if only they could have a second chance with Brooke/Ashley. But the minute the second relationship failed for whatever reason, they went back to their affair partners. After that, both seemed to give up on remaining faithful. Craig and Lucas both cheated on their live-in girlfriends with someone from their past. You can't make this shit up. The writers protected Miles to some degree. He didn't technically cheat on Maya with Zoe. His best friend just yelled at him until he stopped trying to make out with his barely conscious ex girlfriend, allowing his conscience to kick in just in time. He also slept with Lola and had a full on emotional relationship with her while his boyfriend was in a coma, but of course the excuse was that he couldn't be sure Tristan would make it. But in Miles's defense, he's mostly self aware. He doesn't fully understand that he enters each and every relationship in the hopes that this one person will understand him completely, never judging or putting any sort of pressure on him, only for that to inevitably fall apart, causing him to be bitter and quickly find someone new (or old, as the case may be). But he does at least realize he can be a mess and self destructive during times of turmoil, not even fully blaming his significant others when they can no longer deal with him. Lucas truly seems to still think he's the hero of his own life following his second breakup with Brooke. Who the hell knows what Craig thinks? He's so out of focus after leaving the main cast that it's impossible to know what exactly he feels or doesn't feel for Ellie. Also, all three express themselves in some sort of artistic way. Lucas becomes an author while Miles planned to attend a writing school at the end of Next Class, suggesting he'll also become a writer. Craig was first a photographer, and then most notably a musician, writing his own songs.

2.) This is going to be so brief after the book I wrote about Lucas vs Miles vs Craig, but since I answered the ask about Peyton and Ellie already, I'll mainly say that Ellie is similar to Peyton for reasons I already stated. But also, Grace gives off a similar vibe. Unlike Ellie, Grace isn't afraid to get involved. She's always the first to educate others and the one to speak out about injustice. For one reason or another, both Grace and Peyton were hesitant to put themselves out there and spent most of their lives being extremely guarded. For Peyton, it was the loss of her mother and reluctance to own up to feeling romantic love for Lucas, so used to being in a toxic relationship with Nathan. For Grace, it was her having cystic fibrosis and feeling that it's not even worth it to fully open up to others when she won't live for very long. Apparently Grace's version of Peyton's feelings for Lucas is... Zig?! Which is completely unbelievable, but the writers seemed to want us to think she'd been pining for him all along and she didn't say his name just because he conveniently entered the room at the right moment. Oops, I said I was going to be brief.

3.) As stated before, I believe that Maya and Haley have many similarities. But Haley is also similar to Clare. Haley sets goals for herself, almost always doing the rational and responsible thing rather than being carefree and letting herself experience life as it comes. Clare does the exact same thing. Arguably, their transformations into more relaxed people willing to be impulsive from time to time relate to falling in love for the first time. As much as I don't want to admit it, Eli had the same effect on Clare's life as Nathan did on Haley's. He was someone very unlike her who encouraged her to try new things and put herself out there rather than remaining the same, stagnant person. Granted, I do think Clare was already beginning to embrace new things following her breakup with KC and had become much more confident by the beginning of season 10. But I don't think Eli's effect on Clare's life should be understated. And like Nathan and Haley, Eli and Clare got in extremely deep very quickly, resulting in a pretty emotionally devastating breakup where the girl had to leave the guy due to the timing being wrong and the relationships not being what they should be. That's where the comparisons personally end for me in regards to the relationships. Other than the fact both couples viewed each other as their future. Both Haley and Clare got pregnant during their senior years, throwing their future plans completely off. Haley was able to carry her pregnancy to term, resulting in her raising a son as a barely legal adult. Clare miscarried, losing her son. Also, somehow I almost forgot the fact that both initially wanted to wait until marriage to have sex. Haley technically waited, mostly because she got married at sixteen. Clare didn't, eventually shifting her beliefs enough to feel comfortable having sex in a loving relationship outside of marriage. And with Drew, once. I'm sorry. I still love that.

4.) Miles is such a Nathan to me that I think even their actors, Eric Osborne and James Lafferty, have a similar vibe and mannerisms. I don't know what it is, but it's uncanny to me. To begin with, they're known for being good athletes. Although, Miles being into sports mostly goes away after season 13. He self destructs pretty quickly after that, eventually becoming more interested in things like student council and creative writing. Nathan continues to pursue a career in basketball during every season, first as a player, briefly as a coach, and then later as a sports' agent. Nathan's passion for sports is an integral part of who he is. And obviously, both Nathan and Miles had complicated relationships with their abusive fathers, struggling to live up to their expectations only to never be enough. Both broke free of their dads, choosing to receive validation outside of their families. Nathan found the love and stability he was looking for with Haley. Miles tried multiple times to find this kind of love, and his relationship with Tristan was his longest and most consistent pairing. But they were never anywhere on the same level as Nathan and Haley. In other relationships such as Miles's with Maya or his fling with Lola, either the girl never fully let him in because of her own issues as well as feelings for a guy from her past or because he was settling for something simple that made life easier in the present even though he truly wanted someone else, they didn't work out. This is getting so long. I'm sorry. But other than Miles, Nathan also has similarities to Jimmy. We talked before about this, I think. Jimmy was also under pressure to become a professional basketball player from his father. Much like Dan pretty much demanded Nathan play basketball at all costs, Jimmy's father struggled to accept the reality that Jimmy's life had changed following his paralysis. Both guys ended up in wheelchairs following a violent altercation, though Nathan's was temporary while Jimmy's fate is left ambiguous since we never find out what came of the stem cell surgery. Regardless, Jimmy's mental health following the shooting and negative emotions were rarely ever the focus. He alludes to feeling suicidal and depressed during episodes centered around Craig and Spinner, but by the time we get back into Jimmy's head he's found a way to adjust. Nathan seems to take his accident much harder, remaining in a very negative, depressed headspace for 4+ months, relying heavily on alcohol to cope with his day to day life. Eventually, Nathan just.. kind of snaps out of it. Because he cuts his hair, learns to walk again, and starts helping out with the Ravens, we're meant to infer he's all better. You have to love OTH's hit or miss writing. Lastly, Nathan and Zig are similar in regards to Naley's season 2 arc and Zaya's in Next Class season 1. Both guys are threatened by the girls they love growing closer to a musician who might connect with them on a level they can't reach. Uncomfortable with the challenge to their relationship, both guys grow somewhat possessive and jealous, even briefly asking if they or the music are more important.

5.) It's hard to compare Brooke to any one character. I realize she's basically the archetype of the mean girl who eventually softens up, but there are so many things that make Brooke 'Brooke'. To start with, Manny. Both spent a lot of years allowing boys to define their worth. As a result, they were often shown competing with other girls. Both Brooke and Manny were left with trust issues involving love triangles with their first loves. Brooke spent years overcoming the betrayal of Lucas and Peyton. Manny also took years and multiple, mostly throwaway relationships to get over Craig after he deceived her into believing he'd broken up with Ashley so that they could be together. Honestly, these incidents probably weren't comparable, but I loved Manny too much to question it and Cassie Steele did a really good playing up that subtext. By the time the girls graduate, they've mostly become more confident in themselves, putting their ambitions first. For Manny, it's her acting. For Brooke, it's the fashion line. Both girls faced rejection from their parents. But while Manny was raised by strict parents, resulting her rebellion, Brooke was left almost completely alone, resulting in a similar outcome. Because of this, their best friends (Peyton and Emma) are much more like family than their biological families. In the end, both end up with someone unpredictable who conveniently was linked to their best friend once upon a time. Other than Manny, there's obviously Fiona. Both had an interest in fashion, spent years being a queen bee, and eventually learned a sense of responsibility and stability both by living alone and being on student council.

6.) Degrassi. It's not close.

7.) Ooh okay.

Degrassi:

(1) Zig/Maya

(2) Joey/Caitlin

(3) Sean/Ellie

One Tree Hill:

(1) Nathan/Haley

(2) Lucas/Brooke

(3) Jake/Peyton

Combined:

(1) Zig/Maya

(2) Nathan/Haley

(3) Lucas/Brooke

(4) Joey/Caitlin

(5) Sean/Ellie

(6) Jake/Peyton

8.) My brain broke LOL

Things I prefer about OTH:

(1) Better focus on character development due to having a smaller cast

(2) Stronger love stories. Degrassi was first and foremost a show about messy teenagers. For the first half of the series, no one was endgame. It wasn't until Eclare that the show started to realize that maybe they should service their fans in that way. But on One Tree Hill, a lot of time and energy was dedicated to developing the relationships between Nathan/Haley, Lucas/Brooke, Lucas/Peyton, Brooke/Julian, Jake/Peyton, etc.

3.) Better soundtrack, even though I honestly love Degrassi's too

4.) It has a truly platonic friendship between a male and female character without any romantic past or one of them being gay (Lucas/Haley)

(5) More focus on parent/child dynamics

(6) They never spent a handful of episodes in green screen Paris, dragging down the entire show for like two months straight

Things I prefer about Degrassi:

(1) It's more realistic.

(2) This kind of goes along with #1, but it's a show about teenagers played by actual teenagers. It's a much different experience watching these kids figure things out than it is watching twenty somethings do the same thing.

(3) Representation. I won't pretend like Degrassi is perfect or that it equally distributes focus to queer and POC characters. It doesn't. There's a clear hierarchy, and unfortunately white, straight characters were generally at the center of the story lines. But an attempt was at least made. OTH had an almost all white cast and rarely ever featured any LGBT representation. One of their sole gay characters filmed himself having sex with a woman without her knowledge or consent, then leaked the tape, all to hide his sexuality. So, not the greatest representation.

4.) Degrassi's school shooter was someone who physically abused his girlfriend and displayed many red flags rather than a victim of bullying who suddenly snapped after one too many insults or physical assaults. Sadly, OTH continued to perpetuate the misinformation that most school shootings are committed by kids who are bullied. To be fair, Rick was also bullied, but it wasn't a black and white scenario. Kids weren't just being unfair to him. He came back to the school and seriously asked the friends of the girl he put into a coma for forgiveness.

(5) The characters mostly had limitations and were forced to follow the same rules unlike on OTH where 4/5 of the core five could basically do whatever they wanted. This is one thing that sets Degrassi apart from many other teen dramas.

(6) The friendships were more believable and realistic. While I think there were occasional instances where one friend forgave another too easily, the instances where the friends fell out with one another only to later make up were overall well done and didn't feel forced. Brooke and Peyton, I'm looking at you.

(7) The girls actually seemed to like each other! They could mostly interact without constantly referring to each other as "bitches" and "whores". During moments when the girls would turn on each other, it was being written in a very realistic, true to life way. On One Tree Hill, an entire punchline would be that one girl degraded another.

#mayamatlinscello #Long post #Not my gifs

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sothas · 8 months

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Nilonii Character Details, part 2!

I had so much fun with the last ones and thought I’d randomly pick some more to answer! Nilonii brainrot is constant

The questions are from this list! If you’d like to ask me any that I haven’t already answered please go ahead!! <3

✈️ AIRPLANE — does your oc like traveling, or do they consider themselves a more homey person?

Nilonii loves travelling! Her childhood in Tamriel was sheltered so she never really saw the world, and then spent almost 40 years exclusively in the CWC, so seeing Tamriel is such a shock to her when she’s involved in the events of the Morrowind DLC. A good shock though! She loves seeing the culture and architecture of the different provinces, and of course exploring more of her own heritage too. However, she gets homesick pretty easy, and the expansiveness of Tamriel is mentally exhausting to her. So while she loves to travel she does in it moderation, and is perfectly happy to stay at home in the meantime :)

🔺 RED TRIANGLE POINTED UP — does your oc know how to use any weapons?

Nilonii is a pro at using polearms, spears in particular. She also uses her staff as though it were a warhammer (Luciana gave her tips on how to properly balance and swing it) and loves to weave this in with magical attacks to overwhelm her enemies. She’s the type to fight dirty, and she gives her opponents absolutely no room to breathe. And if fists count as weapons she can also do hand-to-hand pretty well! She’s strong enough to throw people judo-style.. the Koshi Guruma throw is her fave. Literally a one woman army

🌈 RAINBOW — what is your oc's sexual orientation/gender identity? what pronouns do they use?

She’s a cisgender woman and uses she/her pronouns! In terms of sexuality she’s biromantic/demisexual - it takes her a while to trust someone enough to want to be with them romantically and even more to want to do anything sexual, especially since she hates being in vulnerable situations.

💔 BROKEN HEART — what are three of your oc's negative traits?

Arrogant - simply put, she’s very cocky. She adores herself and is loud about it, and it can get pretty grating at times. It stems from her being insecure about her identity (or rather, lack of one) in the past, and she’s totally fallen in love with the person she’s become. Her love of teasing others is also a part of this, but it’s never in a spiteful way unless someone gives her a reason to go off on them. She also believes that nobody stands a chance against her power in a fight, which can lead to…

Reckless - and when I mean nobody, I mean nobody. She tries to fight Nocturnal during the CWC questline and would have died if Luciana and Divayth weren’t there to stop her. When her emotions are involved she doesn’t think of the consequences. She’s a lot less reckless when she talks though, everything she says has a purpose and she knows exactly what sort of consequence she wants to steer the conversation towards.

Stubborn - linking in to recklessness, she’s also extremely stubborn! Once Nilonii is committed to something, that’s it. She becomes an unstoppable force AND an immovable object. Her opinions can be changed though, but through actions rather than words! But when it comes to things that she feels strongly about no amount of good arguments otherwise can sway her.

☕️ HOT BEVERAGE — does your oc prefer coffee, tea, hot chocolate, milk, water, or some other drink? how do they like to take this drink (ex. coffee with milk, hot chocolate with whipped cream, a specific kind of tea, etc)?

She prefers red grape juice, water and tea! She’ll have the first two either on their own or with a bit of ice if the City is particularly warm that day. This also applies to tea! In terms of what kind of tea she prefers, she likes floral and fruity kinds. A few teas that exist within ESO that she would like the most are the winter rose tea, comberry citrus quencher and the pink profundity tea.

😓 DOWNCAST FACE WITH SWEAT — is your oc open-minded or stubborn? are they inquisitive or do they prefer to keep to their bubble of knowledge?

She’s a mix of stubbornness and open-mindedness here! Again she has her own opinions, but she’ll listen to what others have to say and remember it. On the other hand she’s 100% inquisitive about things! She’s hella nosy and isn’t shy when it comes to asking questions in pursuit of knowledge.

#i love her sm.. <3 #nilonii telvayn #gingerposting #the elder scrolls

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em-writes-stuff-sometimes · 2 months

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Ask game ask game ask game!! I was so hoping you’d do this one. I wanna know…..

8, 12, and 29!

Eyyyy, Brigid! Thanks for playing the gaaaaaame, lolz.

OKAYYYYYYY

8. Do you have any rituals or norms that help you get into the zone for writing?

I will usually read a Daemon fanfic or watch some Daemon scene packs/video edits on YouTube to get me in the mood! I need to feel at least a little lowkey horny to be inspired, lol, so I try to re-immerse myself in the world and ensure my work is coming from a place of passion. Not sexual passion, haha, but creative passion! If I’m writing anything based on specific scenes in canon, I’ll review that scene and try to capture the background details. Also, I’ll skim my last chapter to make sure my work continues on from where I left off as naturally as I can manage it.

12. Are there any clichés or tropes that you actively avoid in your fics?

I dislike protracted love triangles. They make for great fun, but I personally find them overused in fanfiction. I also really strongly dislike writing scenarios wherein the character who might be in a canon relationship with the romantic interest of the OC/Reader is cast as a villain or antagonistic force. It is an unquestionably valid stylistic choice, but I’ve always struggled with it as it feels very anti-‘girls supporting girls’, lol. I think there’s more to reinterpreting these characters and the ways their pre-existing relationship with the romantic interest can be adapted than just making them the psycho ex.

29. Are there any characters, relationships or general character dynamics you’ve never written but would like to try?

This is a completely self-indulgent response, but in my series I’ve established a weird sort of background polycule of Rhaenyra-Harwin-Laena and, a little more subtly, Rhaenyra-Harwin-Laenor. The dynamics are more or less implicit from the main character’s POV, but I’d really enjoy writing something exploring how it all came to be. Harwin marries Laena in my fic, but the pair are romantically and sexually involved with Rhaenyra; when Laena dies, or perhaps even before, there’s a semi-fleshed-out hint that Laenor is also involved in some way with Rhaenyra and Harwin. I headcanon that Harwin’s just attracted to pretty, boys or girls irrelevant. Laenor may not be attracted to Rhaenyra but it doesn’t mean they can’t share a bedpartner, you know? But yeah, that’s what I’d really like to do at some point!

Thank you for the questions, boooooo!!!!!

#ask game #fanfiction asks

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brainbuffering · 1 year

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12 Days of Manga 2022

Day 10: Top 3 Favourite Completed Manga

(These aren’t necessarily series that ended THIS year, but they are series that I personally completed this year!)

1) Sweat and Soap by Kintetsu Yamada from Kodansha (T: Matt Treyvaud L: Sara Linsly E: Kristin Osani)

[ID: English Cover of Sweat and Soap Vol 11. A goofy shot of the entire wedding party for Asako and Natori‘s wedding. Asako wears a white lace dress and Koutaro wears a matching white suit.]

“In an office romance, there's a fine line between sexy and awkward... and that line is where Asako -- a woman who sweats copiusly -- met Koutarou -- a perfume developer who can't get enough of Asako's, er, scent. Don't miss a romcom manga like no other!

Asako's living her dream, working at the toiletry maker Lilia Drop. Little do her coworkers know, the reason she loves the company so much is that she's ashamed of her body odor, and their soap is the only thing that does the trick. So when the company's lead product developer, a perfuming genius, approaches her in the lobby and wonders what "that smell" is, she's terrified... but could it be... that he likes it? And, even more surprising to Asako... does she like him?

The hilarious ups and downs of an office romance at a personal care products company are the subject of this sexy, strange romp.

Sweat and Soap combines the odd-couple chemistry of Wotakoi, the "too real!" workplace comedy of Aggretsuko, and a heavy dollop of office steaminess!”

Sweat & Soap is yet another one of those manga that appears on everyone’s lists and actually deserves to be there. Which, if you want to be all 2013 Hipster about it, is incredibly frustrating but from every other perspective it is delightful and wonderful that a series that focusses on clear communication is so popular! If you’re looking for a series that deal with how kink negotation can be applied to every day life then this is one I can whole heartedly recomend!

Because that’s what Sweat & Soap comes down to: communication. Whilst Yamada admits the series began as simply them wanting to write about a big breasted office lady who got easily flustred (and honestly: valid) it quickly became something far more meaningful and stand out. Anytime I thought that a scene was a little off or that consent wasn’t clearly given it was talked about by the characters in an open and honest fashion!

When Ichise was introduced, i was worried it was going to decend into some sort of rival love triangle where both girls were out to get eachother; but rather what happened was a mature look at missed-out-love from her perspective, and clear boundry setting from Asako and Natori. It would be unreasonable for Asako to ask Natori to never speak to his work friend again, but it is not unreasonable for her to ask him to be less physically affectionate with her. He might see her like a little sister, but that doesn’t mean she is his little sister.

This series encapulates all that the phrase “Adult Romance” should. There’s sex, yes, but there’s also trying to figure out an appropriate work-life-balance, what to look for when moving into a new flat (advice I actualy used when moving out recently, so thanks for that on Yamada-sensei!) and how to get your girlfriend’s beloved family cat to actually play with you!!!!

I know I am going to be recomending this series for years to come, and I eagerly await to see if any of Yamada’s other work gets translated into English! Come on Kodansha, you like money, don’t you???

2) Tokyo Mew Mew by Reiko Yoshida and Mia Ikumi from Kodansha (T: Elina Curran L: AndWorld Design)

[ID: English Edition of Vol 3 of the Tokyo MewMew Omnibus. Ichigo wears a straawberry themed wedding dress and veil that is pushed back past her cat ears. She carris a bouquet of flowers, and sits in a ring of pink and yellow stars. The background is light pink with a pattern of baby pink strawberries.]

“Ichigo is out on a date with her 'crush' when suddenly she's involved in an odd incident in which her DNA is merged with the DNA of an almost extinct wildcat. When four other girls' DNA is merged with the DNA of four other almost extinct animals, it's apparent that they're part of a much bigger plan. Ichigo and her friends have been chosen to become a part of a secret project called the 'Mew Project'. Their mission: To protect the planet from aliens who are using animals to attack humans!”

I first read this series way back in year 9 of school, but I don’t think I ever got beyond volume 2 or 3? So when the anime was announced I decided to re-read the whole series. And what a lot of fun it has been!

It’s been fun to revisit this time in manga, and it reminded me of my love of Action Shoujo! It’s so quintessentially magical girl, but doesn’t have some of the more yikes tropes that have me hesitating to recommend Sailor Moon or Cardcaptor Sakura to children. (CLAMP... why? Why all the student-teacher relationships?!)

Sure, Quiche -- sorry: Kish -- is a major creep when it comes to declaring his undying love for Ichigo but he is the villain! If you’re going to have someone disrespect boundries, it should be painted as acts of criminality and evil!

And like all good Magical Girl shows, the focus remains on the power of female friendship and how they can raise eachother up! Just a group of lesbians supporting their bisexual leader as she fumbles her way through teen romance.

I’ll admit I felt the ending was a little rushed in places, which meant that some of the scenes that should have had huge emotional impact were brushed over too quickly. I’m hopeful though that the new anime will fix that problem and allow things to progresss at an appropriate pace. I think they’ve done a good job so far in adapting it, and another 12 episodes should be all it needs!

My biggest gripe with the series is how Kodansha localised the names so inconsistently, sometimes choosing to translate the characters’ names into their appropriate food related topics and sometimes not. But it appears that the fandom itself cannot decide what version to use so at least there’s consistency in the inconsistency. These decisions often come from above, specifically from the Japanese Team, so I don’t hold Curran responsible, but it’s still something worth noting in my opinion. If I ever find my TokyoPop versions I’ll be sure to do a comparison!

At only 7 Volumes across 3 Omnibus Editions, this is absolutely worth investing in if you’re looking for some old school magical girl fun! Be that as someone new to the genre, or a vetran looking to relive the glory days before everything was Pretty Cure.

Now come on Sentai, do every little girl a favour and dub this series into English!!!

On the topic of the anime... given Ikumi-sensei’s passing this year, i felt very emotional reading her thoughts on getting to see the orignal anime under production. She was so excited to see eveything made, and got the seiyuu to write up little messages as their characters for all the readers. It’s so sad that she never got to see the fans’ reaction to the reboot. I suppose it’s a reminder to cherish the moments we have together, and may her memory be a blessing to us all.

3) BL Metamorphosis by Kaori Tsurutani from SevenSeas (T: Jocelyne Allen L: Ray Steeves E: Jenn Grunigen)

[ID: English Cover for Vol 5 of BL Metamorphosis. Ichinoi (an elderly woman) and Urara (a teenage girl) sit on a japanese verander drinking tea in the sunshine. There are plants growing all around them. Ichinoi looks u at the sky, and Urara looks groggily in a similar direction.]

“In this heartwarming and award-winning manga originally known as Metamorphose no Engawa, an elderly woman and a high school girl develop a beautiful friendship through their shared passion for Boys' Love.

Ichinoi, a seventy-five-year-old woman living a peaceful life, unwittingly buys a boys' love manga one day, and is fascinated by what she finds inside. When she returns to the bookstore to buy the next volume, the high school girl working there-Urara, a seasoned BL fan-notices a budding fangirl when she sees one. When Urara offers to help Ichinoi explore this whole new world of fiction, the two dive into the BL fandom together, and form an unlikely friendship along the way.”

Age Gap Romances are OUT! Age Gap Friendships are IN!

BL Metamophosis was a wonderful slow paced read, perfect at 5 volumes. It was great to see Ichinoi and Urara form such a strong bond between them, not just because intergenerational friendships are so uncommon in media but also because it proved that it’s never too late to start a new hobby and make new friends! The pair learn a lot from eachother, there’s mutual value in their relationship and the story is much more than some cliched message about how “there’s value in youth and in age”.

Urara learns to become more confident in herself and in the things she loves due to Ichinoi’s encouragement, and Ichinoi learns that just because she’s only got a few more years left to live doesn’t mean that she has to just keep still. I was especially moved by seeing her reflecting on her past regrets, and seeing them through Urara’s fresh eyes and being determined to no longer live like that. She might be much older now than before, but if she wants to go to the top of Tokyo Tower than she will!

I will also have to say, as someone with varaious chronic conditions and mental health problems, Ichinoi’s determination to fight to stay alive until the final volume of her favourite manga is published was incredibly relateable!

As much as I would love to know how Urara is getting on at school and what her life plans are (is she going to try to make more BL Comics?) I’m very content with how the series eneded. It gave closure to everyone’s arcs, whilst giving it a realistically happy ending. Nothing felt out of place.

This is absolutely a manga I would recommend to anyone, whether they be Urara’s age of Ichinoi’s! I’d also consider it a great starter manga given how short it is, and whilst perhaps an understanding of BL tropes is helpful I don’t think it’s needed as Ichinoi is being introduced to the genre along with the reader. If anything, I’d be really interested to know what someone who doesn’t know anything about BL thinks of the series!

#Seinen #Shojo #manga #12 Days of Manga #12 Days of Manga 2022 #tokyo mew mew #Sweat and Soap #BL Metamorphosis

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sarah-cam · 4 months

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The issue with these shows like tsip and tvd where the love triangle involves brothers is that the writers tend to try and priorise the brother relationship which is just unrealistic and impossible since if brothers were truly as close as the writers wanted them to be the love triangle wouldn’t happen in the first place, but there’s always a selfish bro who pursues the other guys girl in the first place (Damon, jeremiah) and it pisses me off that the brother bond always comes out “on top” by the end of the series in general. It’s bs!!! They should make a decision on where they want their writing to focus on, the brothers or the relationship, they cannot do both!

agreed!! it's interesting because even though tsitp and mlwtwb are being made now, the original source material is from 2009-14, which is very much when that sort of drama was a thing. and like this is why i am both a stefan girlie always and a conrad girlie forever!! i also think that as important as familial relationships are (some of my favorite on-screen relationships are brothers/male bffs), it should be more of an acceptable thing to stop keeping in contact with toxic people just because they're blood related to you too

with the brothers in these shows though a huge thing is that they're not that close which is why the love triangle is portrayed as idk less problematic than irl?? but like still it's so messy 😂

it's also interesting that there's never really been a story where the love triangle is between one guy and two sisters because lbr we all say "yes girl slay 💅🏼" when if the genders were reversed he would be ripped to shreds 🤔

#the summer i turned pretty #tsitp meta #answered #anon #hot take but imma say it #belly is only remotely likable because she's played by lola

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sharp-teeth-and-wide-grins · 1 year

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honorhearted asked : 🎬 for Lydia, if you didn't get it already!

Send me a 🎬 and an oc, and i’ll tell you… / @honorhearted -- accepting

how they’d be introduced:

The middle of s1 when Ben and Caleb are at camp than traveling around, in the middle of the whole Sackett thing and the forming of the Culper Ring, there is an extra subplot where Ben suspects a spy is in camp and it adds more motivation for why the ring should be formed that if a spy is in the enemy camp, imagine what it would be like outside of camp sort of deal. Lydia shows up right at the tail end of an episode with a cliffhanger vibe to it where she comes up to Sackett and Ben and tells them that she has information on the spy in camp. It’s this twist that gets people on tumblr wondering who she is. (I’m using her main verse for this because it makes the most sense and has less of an impact on the turn timeline overall).

Her first moment really interacting with Ben is arguing with him lmao.

who the fandom ships them with:

I feel like at first, people were annoyed and assumed there was going to be a love triangle that would rival the Abe/Anna stuff happening in s1 and something may have been in the works, but seeing the huge dislike of it: the writers scrapped the idea. I feel like Lydia would have more ships in s2 or s3 when her character is given more screen time overall. Ben/Lydia would be the most popular since those two interact the most.

But as the turn fandom goes, she’s thrown into a bunch of different ships: Caleb/Lydia, Bradford/Lydia, etc, etc. Even Hewlett/Lydia have a fanfic somewhere. Some small number of people ship Abe/Lydia for an enemies to lovers fanfic, but Ben/Lydia is the most popular. Some people have written characterization pieces for Lydia that show her relationship with Laurence before his death after the turn writers incorporate a flashback of his death to add more development for Lydia’s character to the audience and to show the impact of his death..

why the fandom loves them:

At first, the fandom was mixed on if they liked her or not, but as the seasons went on, more became more sympathetic at her and distanced themselves from “Oh she’s just a love interest for Ben (or for this other character).” Either when she punches Bradford or when she roasts Abe in an argument, the fandom all begin to really love her. The fandom loves her for her bravery, the refreshing characterization of her character, and how developed her character is overall with her past. Some might admire the turn writers for trying to incorporate her ADHD in a time where that wasn’t well known and making it realistic to the time period. I have a little headcanon that people would like Lydia a little more by her attire because she was a seamstress before she got involved in the culper ring and something of her making a dress for Anna or Mary would make people warm up to her more.

why the fandom hates them

Some are really annoyed by her character overall and find her short temper to be childish and they think she is a very whiny character overall that’s just used for filler or for a love interest for whatever canon character. Some people think she’s a copy of another character or find her character to be pointless in the plot because she wasn’t a real figure in history. They also find it unrealistic why she would be in the spy ring anyway.

what the cast relationship would be like:

Overall, the turn cast seems really close, but I’m not sure if M.erve B.oluğur speaks English. I’m going to assume she does, but I have only seen interviews where she is only speaking in her native language, Turkish. So I’m not sure what her personality is like because of that, but like the rest, she appears in cast photos and interacts with the actors on twitter. I think if the turn writers were going in a romantic route with her and another character, they would try to pair them more often together in photos because: marketing. She would have inside jokes with the cast that she incorporates in her tweets and if she found anything related to the culper ring or any of the turn characters, she would tag the cast member in her post.

What would be funny as hell would be if Merve and Jamie were close while Abe and Lydia literally hate each other on screen.

what was their audition scene:

The audition scene would be an argument between Abe and Lydia or an argument between her and Ben, mostly to see where Merve’s range is. The audition scene would be with Seth because Lydia is in camp for almost all of the show’s runtime, and since she’s the codebreaker, she has to interact with Ben a lot for that.

dependent upon the fandom, who they’d be on a press tour/at comic con with

I don’t think the turn cast even went to comic con or did a press tour? They did some stuff around Richmond, but that location and online seemed their biggest promotion pieces other than individual interviews. Merve would be paired with Seth or any of the main culper ring characters (Heather, Jamie, Daniel, etc) because her character is heavily involved in the ring and in camp. Other than an au, she doesn’t go to Setauket. Maybe for a one off thing, she’s on that one podcast show where they talk about the episode after it aired with Sam, Daniel, Brian, or Meegan (because those are the only ones that were on it lmao) after there was an episode with both of their characters interacting in some way.

if they spoil things

I don’t think so? Again, I don’t know much about Lydia’s fc personality, but I doubt it. I’m not entirely sure, but the turn cast seemed to post more photos together than teasers (from what I have seen, I could be wrong). I didn’t get into turn until after it aired when it was still on netflix.

if the show/movie has ended, are they happy with their character’s ending and the ending at large

So for Lydia’s ending, I guess it depends on if the writers wanted to be entirely historically accurate as they seemed to sorta do in the ending of s4 (outside of Hewlett & Abe, though Abe was a little more accurate). So any love interest she has in a show wouldn’t be endgame if they wanted to go that route, so I think from there, her storyline could go in multiple ways: she ends up single and is mentioned how she has gotten married in Abe’s letter, she’s killed off, or they just leave it open ended. I’m not sure what Merve’s personality is, but I think she would be more pleased with a happy ending than an ending where she’s killed off if she has been a current character for so long in all of the seasons.

#asks #honorhearted #( 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒌 𝒊𝒔 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒏 ; headcanon (( Lydia ))#( I did focus generally on this but I also wanted more of a Bydia angle )#( because more bydia content hurts no one )#( thanks for sending this in! )

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matt0044 · 2 years

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I don’t even dislike the idea of Fix-It fics overall even for RWBY.

As a Power Rangers fan, I’ve found Samurai and Megaforce rather... lacking to say the least. I’ve enjoy ideas some fans throw around as to how they could’ve been written better, especially in regards to how Shinkenger, Goseiger and Gokaiger were adapted.

hunterkiller1440 has a YouTube channel with a series of videos where he explains how he’d help these seasons shine. Though they do go a bit overboard, they come from a place of appreciation of Power Rangers and its appeal. This isn’t from a place of pure anger or vitriol.

I don’t doubt that for many RWBY “Critics,” this is the case but there are too many instances of YouTubers clearly placating to the anger of fans. There’s far less of an understandable sense of disappointment with what the series failed to give them and more-so this vibe that they’re... torturing themselves. There’s no appeal to be found, no sense of, “Despite this foible, RWBY’s my jam.”

So many rewrites are more concerned less with the spirit of what the writers were going for and instead try to employ entire overhauls that may as well be its own thing. Unicorn of War’s Volume 8 Rewrite might as well have ditched Team RWBY and JNPR with the likes of Jacques Schnee usurping the protagonist role. That just reeks of a dolled up fanfiction rather than “critique.”

Really, when it comes to my criticisms of Power Rangers Megaforce, it usually comes from seeing what it seemed to be attempted and what didn’t click. I felt that Troy could’ve been played up as an introvert who’s more into being a Ranger than dealing with people. I felt Vrak could’ve been more involved in Super Megaforce as a rival to Vekar since he was always the cooler villain.

But they’d overall be the same show except with certain tweaks like a Director’s Cut of sorts. On the less extreme end, I love The Legend of Korra and will die on that hill as many times as it takes. That said, I felt like the love triangle could’ve had scene with more emotional insight where Mako reconciles with Asami far better and work as a character insight with more communication.

Plus, Endgame should’ve been a two parter that gave insight into how the Equalists dissolved with Republic City’s recovery. That’s all. Book 2 good actually. A good “rewrite” should understand what the series was doing and generally agree with it in principle before arguing how things could’ve used a bit more elbow grease so to speak. It’s about meeting it in the middle.

I can admit that Volume 1 feels like there was meant to be a Weiss/Yang subplot while Blake worked out her feelings over the White Fang. Volume 2′s finale could’ve been more dramatic even if it was meant to lure us into a false sense of security.

There’s more but it’s usually more about additions to what we already have. The sort of filler Anime adaptations added during the Manga’s serialization. If I wanted something completely different, I’d turn to Monty Python.

#rwby #rwby rewrite #rwby remnant #rwby volume 9 #rwby9 #rooster teeth #ruby rose #weiss schnee #blake belladonna #yang xiao long #jaune arc #nora valkyrie #pyrrha nikos #lie ren #oscar pine #team rwby #team jnpr #fndm #fndm foibles

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ribcagecarnival · 2 years

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NO. 7 (ON VILLAINY)

2021 may have begun with Olivia Rodrigo controlling the narrative, but it may very well end with Joshua Bassett at the wheel.

I’ll put the usual disclaimers--I don’t know any of these children personally, and I don’t know what actually went down behind the scenes at the turn of the last decade when a supposed love triangle supposedly fractured the hearts and egos of all involved and led to some midlevel Internet drama which ultimately took a backseat to the genuine article--Sour, the 18-year-old Rodrigo’s record-shattering debut LP. In case you missed it: Rodrigo and Bassett started dating in secret while playing an onscreen couple in a Disney+ High School Musical spinoff, Bassett broke up with Rodrigo because of their age difference - he’s almost 21 - and in a suspiciously short amount of time began dating and cutely posting with 22-year-old Sabrina Carpenter, another artist and Disney alum. Teenage digital sleuths searched for Easter eggs in the style of Rodrigo’s biggest influence, Taylor Swift, while I became consumed with the parallel’s between Rodrigo’s experience and my own--feeling disproportionately large affection for men who can never reciprocate, drowning in insecurity over the Eurocentric beauty standard that makes being cast aside in favor of a fair-skinned blonde take on an extra sharp edge, splashing the thinly veiled narrative of my heartbreak across the web. That, instead of the logistics and timeline of the real people involved, was my Met Gala.

The culture-defining “drivers license” was Sour’s lead single, and its chokehold on the popular imagination has persisted even though it dropped way back in January. Perhaps the only narrative powerful enough to displace was the tale at the center of Taylor Swift’s Red rerelease, the storied ten-minute (and explicit!) version of “All Too Well” that did its own record-breaking and spawned an endless scroll of TikTok speculation about what the scarf really means and what Jake Gyllenhaal’s publicist must be doing right now. Again, I’m less concerned with what actually happened--it’s none of my business anyway--and more with what it means for every young woman who’s ever fallen for a withholding, condescending older guy. (Admittedly though I’m concerned with the scarf. I totally thought the scarf was a metaphor. Apparently it’s a real scarf and he actually stole it AND THEN WORE IT? AND WAS PHOTOGRAPHED IN IT? Dude. Major party foul.)

It’s worth noting that Taylor Swift, like many songwriters of her ilk of all genders, has dated fewer songwriters than non-songwriters. Even though John Mayer famously used “Paper Doll” as a late retort to “Dear John,” there are few examples of musical rebuttal to the Taylor Swift Cinematic Universe. Frankly, I don’t have strong feelings about that either way. While I’m ravenous for “Style (Taylor’s Version) (feat. Harry Styles),” I will be able to go on living if it doesn’t happen. I’ve come to expect that musical explorations of relationships will flatten and distort the facts; I accept them as autofiction rather than pure autobiography; I listen knowing I will never understand the story that inspired it completely.

Enter Joshua Bassett, on the precipice of dropping a three-song EP that seems to be the auditory equivalent of a “reply all.”

Bassett has been teasing each of the three tracks on TikTok; the first one I saw opened with the line “my label said to never waste a crisis.” Clearly he’s going for directness. The songs seem to tackle hate, regret, defiance, fear--it’s a sort of anti-apoplexy, choosing to write instead of fight or fly. It’s apparent that he wants to have this conversation on his own terms. When Saturday Night Live spoofed “drivers license,” Bassett took the sharpest line at his own expense and turned it into merch (if you look up “my bitch ex Gina is Joshua Bassett,” a link to a long-sleeve bearing the slogan on his website appears). But aside from that admittedly hilarious marketing move, and posting vague messages of support about Rodrigo’s success, he’s remained quiet. His own release earlier this year didn’t seem related to Rodrigo’s aside from timing, and his public persona has been more about Harry Styles than his relationship status. Sabrina Carpenter, the “blonde girl,” released her own confusing addition to the chaos with “Skin,” which, in addition to being bizarrely braggadocious, lacked the precision and pathos of Rodrigo’s work. But now, Joshua Bassett has decided it’s his time to speak.

Bassett is much harder to paint as a villain than Gyllenhaal. The main reason is that the couple split apart on Rodrigo’s Sour is comprised of two young people, whereas the narrative on Red is about an older man who should have known better than to get involved with a girl who was newly 21. Additionally, Sour seems to traffic in gray areas--“you didn’t cheat, but you’re still a traitor,” “and I just can’t imagine how you could be so okay now that I’m gone,” “I guess the therapist I found for you, she really helped.” Compare that, then, with the details unraveled by the ten-minute version of “All Too Well” - “I’ll get older but your lovers stay my age,” “you call me up again just to break me like a promise,” “any time now, he’s gonna say it’s love, you never called it what it was.” In my view, part of the enjoyment of Sour was how much pain you can feel even if the other person isn’t an outright villain. It’s about how there is no way good or fair way to break someone’s heart, how seeing your ex with someone new can sting no matter how much time passes. What’s compelling, then, is Bassett writing his half of the story, grappling with the guilt of breaking the heart of someone he genuinely cared for, the limits of grace when you, too, are a child trying to love and be loved, and the world is hell-bent on calling you the problem. Admittedly, I thought back to a failed almost-relationship of my own, when my subtweets about the grief wounded the person who left me. Time has passed and we are friends and we both finally see each other for who we are--not egomaniacs, not dreams or ideals, but people.

I don’t know what I’ll ultimately think of the new Joshua Bassett project. But I think its entry into the cultural zeitgeist will force a conversation about relationships that we’ve been unable to have. For so long, people--largely women--were manipulated, abused, and broken by traumatic relationships, and the people carrying out that abuse were left unchecked. With the #MeToo movement, it has become a lot harder to dispute the pain caused by those kinds of relationships. But now the collective consciousness is failing to imagine anything beyond the binary of abuse vs. not abuse, criminal vs. legal. There is pain outside of trauma; there is trauma at scale; there is regret and there is harm and there is heartbreak. Maybe, just maybe, one day we will have room in our hearts and our culture for people to fall and to fail and then, eventually, to try again.

#joshua bassett #olivia rodrigo #sour #taylor swift #jake gyllenhaal #jensen mcrae #jensenmcrae #ribcagecarnival #ribcage carnival #songwriting #text #words #rolling stone #teen vogue

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kaypeace21 · 3 years

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Analyzing the 5 plays in this drama club poster .From the bts pics of stranger things 4.

So... some of ya’ll know I'm going through the st s4 films given to us by the official st twitter + the films reffed in the show itself or mentioned by the Duffers in interviews .

So I decided to look at the plays mentioned here. Because even if we don't see the monologues in the show directly - the Duffers wouldn't name drop anything unless it inspired them in some way. Similar to films name dropped in the show. Tw : for some dark themes .

This is just a quick little analysis I decided to do since we probably won't get any new st content today (3/22). Nothing too deep. Just mentioning things that caught my interest especially cause these plays have a lot of narrative connections to the st s4 movies I've been watching.

Invitation to a march (Authur laurents)

Reminds me of the stancy/jancy love triangle. "A young woman is having second thoughts about doing the right thing and marrying a respectable , rich, kind, young man with good prospects.By way of a prewedding diversion, this woman becomes interested in the passionate but poor and entirely unsuitable son of a local landlord.Basically, the plot concerns the efforts of Norma Brown to choose between a conventional fiance who "puts her to sleep" but is wealthy (like what her own mother did) or go for this new-poor guy. The play is principally interested in how this youthful love triangle affects the three mothers involved (whether the kids like it or not)

12th night (Shakespeare)

- viola (el) wrongly assumes a family member (hopper) is dead. She dresses up as a man named 'cesario'. A girl named Olivia falls for 'cesario' (violet dressed as a man). "Finally, when 'Cesario' and Sebastian (violet's twin brother: assumed to have drowned - Will) appear in the presence of Olivia there is more wonder and confusion at their physical similarity. Taking Sebastian for 'Cesario', Olivia asks him to marry her, and they are secretly married in a church. Cough if Olivia is 'straight' cause she fell for Viola (as a doppleganger dressed like her twin brother).Mike being into el who multiple characters in s1 said looked like a boy and specifically like Will is...suspish and a hint he's not straight lol. just like Olivia they're both into guys . plus, this play just has a butt load of love triangles (ugh i hated that aspect). There was also romantically coded letters (which was in the s4 films) . One character is also thrown into an insane asylum and framed as 'insane'.'Pretending that Malvolio is insane, they lock him up in a dark chamber. Feste visits him to mock his insanity'. We all know the psych hospital will be narratively important- talked about it more here.

The seagull (Anton Chekhov-russian)

similar to how I believed s4 will show m*#even already broken up since the months between s3-4 : act 3 (s3) ends with Nina begging for one last chance to be with Trigorin before he leaves/moves away. They kiss and make plans to meet again in Moscow.And in act 4 there's a timeskip where it shows they've been broken up for a long time between acts- and its established they never actually loved eachother. Do i even have to spell out why this parallels the m*#even ending in s3? There is also a play within the play (this is common in a lot of the st films- they have plays- or a story within a story- which illustrate certain themes or emotions of the characters within said film : blackswan, children of paradise, highschool musical, Rushmore, book of Henry, welcome to marwen, never ending story, romancing the stone, wet hot American summer, etc).The play is Konstantin's latest attempt at creating a dense symbolist work. There is also alot of love triangles in the seagull. TW!: for se#ual ab*se/su*cidal thoughts/ inc*st (here and in other play segments). The seagull motif reminds me a lot of Jonathan's rabbit story.Konstantin romantically into Nina shows up to give her a gull that he has shot. Nina is confused and horrified . Trigorin sees the gull that Konstantin has shot and muses to Nina on how he could use it as a subject for a short story: "The plot for the short story: a young girl lives all her life on the shore of a lake. She loves the lake, like a gull, and she's happy and free, like a gull. But a man arrives by chance, and when he sees her, he destroys her, out of sheer boredom. Like this gull." This immediately reminded me of jon's rabbit story and some of the movies on the s4 list . Like in forrest gump- Jenny (who is poor) was se*ually ab*sed as a very young girl by her father. As a child she runs away into a field-away from her alcoholic father yelling at her -there she prays that she can "be a bird so I can fly far far away" .

Jenny as an adult struggles with this unresolved trauma- being with ab*sive partners, doing dr*gs, and having su*cidal thoughts . She as an adult when contemplating su*icide, jokes 'you think i can fly like a bird ?' while looking down at a bridge.God-i'm worried about jonathan (Jenny was also a musician sort of like jon). In another s4 movie example ' mystic river ' :(in the 80s) a preteen baseball playing boy is r*ped by men in the woods. He later says he wishes he could become an undead monster to not feel the pain of that experience - cause quote " if I'm not human anymore maybe the pain will stop" (Will) . slightly off topic but he also has another personality, imagines a alternate word that dissappears when he turns his head. And as a less direct animal parallel to the play - the boy from the film also imagined his perpetrators as monsters and wolves to cope.In 'getout' the photographer character sees a dead deer in the woods and it represents a parent/his own childhood tra*ma relating to his past. similarly in 'prince of tides' the 2 siblings as kids were ra*ed by men. The older brother remembered it and the younger sibling developed DID (so didn't remember but she would draw wolves- as the perpetrators/villains in her picture stories she created . In the film they also had an ab*sive dad and were very poor. She also tried k*ling herself multiple times-but started to get better after remembering the source of her pain and trauma. There is also the theme of multiple attempted su*cides in the play- and the play ends with yet another attempt- and the audience is left unaware of the artist's fate at the end of the play.

The tempest (Shakespeare)

Prospereo - (the perceived antagonist) is a wizard with monstrous looks, storm powers , and ability to create monster-dogs

He wants revenge on a man who tried ra*ing his family member & revenge on his other family member who wronged him years ago. I mean... pretty much my did theory.But in the end.Prospero decides to show his enemies the mercy that they did not show him twelve years earlier. He tells Ariel to bring the men to him, he will restore their sanity and then renounce magic forever.Prospero breaks the spell that the men are under .

Diary of a scoundrel (Alexander Ostrovsky-Russian)

- I suppose this could loosely relate to Jonathan? Glumov, is a young man from an impoverished family lacking status seeking entrance into society's pampered class. A 19th-century Russian scoundrel must scheme his way out of his meager life in a small apartment -whatever it takes.He has a quick mind and some talent for seeing through the hypocrisies of people around him ( Jonathan does make a lot of social critiques about society). That gives him some advantages. A tale of one man's mission to finagle his way into upper-class society and find a cushy job. Set in 1874, this social comedy follows Glumov, a Russian youth who begins his ambitious ascent to social esteem. He progresses by wit, guile and rhetoric. Pitting one stupid person against another, he soon gains his ends. To reach these goals, Glumov will lie, flatter, and cater to the vanities of the wealthy. Unable to contain his disgust with his victims, Glumov decides to relieve his unvoiced satirical comments by recording his schemes in a diary. But he is tripped up by his uncle's wife, to whom he has made passionate love on his way to success. At the end of the play, his diary is stolen and his duplicity exposed, but he can nevertheless suceeds. The author is much more critical about the high society itself than about the main character, so the play keeps attracting generations of directors by opening possibilities for political criticism while also avoiding naming names of the current rulers.The play's aim was to overthrow bourgeois tradition and establish a class-conscious art called eccentricism giving a deliberately comic portrayal of reality.

I suppose I notice some possible commonalities- besides s3 critiquing the wealthy/capitalism in comedic ways . jonathan since s1 has worried about his family's finances / had some resentment toward the rich . In some of the s4 movies ‘orphan’ & ‘ girl interrupted’ someone reads their diary out loud to get at them (in girl interrupted the winona character’s diary even had critiques of her new friends). Alot of movies also have someone (usually a teen/young adult) making a documentary about their life -which could narratively replace said diary? A few movies have a poor guy adjusting to snobby rich social circles (or being poor and then getting money)- titanic, kingsmen, karate kid, the craft , godfather, wardogs,into the spiderverse,flashdance, and many others . And movies like wardogs has a poor-young-character do shady things to finacially support his family . There’s also that whole uncle’s wife thing- which makes me uncomfortable for obvious reasons (but I’m just thinking of Lonnie’s creepy gf who was into him). A few movies had the guy’s step mom innappropriately hit on him- orange county & you got mail. And him trying to avoid her advances. Or...not to mention ... it may be a problematic coincidence /trope. But in enter the void -the guy who needs to finacially support his sibling/ does dr*gs -hooks up with his dr*g dealing friend’s married mom (who would give him money). Or in gilbert grape- the poor teen-who has to finacially support his siblings/single mom-has his endgame relationship be a girl his own age. But before that he h*oked up with a married woman -who would give him money. Don’s plum -young film guy-propositioned by older female film director (for dream job). Not even mentioning the other films that have the guy hooking up with toxic older women (like ‘the graduate’). Or analyze this-where the therapist accuses him of having an Oedipus complex (not touching that one... but the guy in ‘enter the void’ a 100% had one). It’s possible those movies were just- inspo for s3? A coincidence? Or s3 was foreshadowing for this in s4- but unlike s3 it will accurately be played as wrong and a sign of Jonathan recreating past tra*ma caused by Lonnie (cough like the photos) /being desperate for money. And not played ‘comedically’ like how it mostly was in s3. But shown as self destructive (for Jon) and immoral on the Woman’s end. Like... Billy and Jon are character foils. Both are older siblings into rock music, with ab*sive dads who shoved them into walls. Both lose it (and beat steve to a pulp when Steve accidentally triggers their daddy issues). In s3 it’s established womanizer Billy has mommy issues, than he tries ho*king up with someone his mom’s age, and the characters ref ‘back to the future ‘ and Steve incorrectly says it’s about “alex p keaton trying to bang his mom.” This could illustrate his subconscious issues with parental figures/adults cause of Lonnie’s possible past se*ual ab*se . One film the friend even says to the guy “you don’t have friends!” guy b: i have friends! him: no you have acquaintances! ADMIT IT! YOU’RE AFRAID OF MEN!I mean-Jonathan liked Nancy- but he initially hooked up with her cause he wanted to prove he didn’t have ‘trust issues’ from his dad. Also it’s prob a bit of a reach (and maybe a coincidence)- but the fact Murray in the same breath compares Steve (Nancy’s then bf) and Lonnie ... uh... if you think too long about it ... it’s very sinister . Especially because in s3: muray tells Joyce that despite her wanting to be with a nice guy, she’s curious about “the brute” Hopper despite him reminding her of a past “bad relationship”(aka Lonnie). Like- yeah connect some dots. Quite a few films (other than forrest gump) also have the character who (as a kid) was r*ped by their dad/parent- begin to do dr*gs/be pr*miscuous as adults since they never learned to properly cope with their trauma (’girl with the dragon tattoo’, ‘black swan’, and ‘magnolia’). Unfortunately the whole relative doing such things to kid-relatives is in at least 30+ movies.

Personally, i would be MUCH happier if Jon had a age appropriate romance- and had not a single creepy adult near him. A few movies actually imply Lonnie gets yet another ‘new model’ replacing his gf in her 20s with a new gf- who is ‘barely l*gal” and just turned 18. so there’s that possibility as well- that she’s jonathan’s age.I just want Jonathan-happy &safe. GOD. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?

#byler #byeler #will byers #mike wheeler #Jonathan byers #nancy wheeler #joyce byers #jim hopper #murray bauman #stranger things #el hopper #s4 theory #stranger things theory

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tadpole-san · 3 years

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okay, its time for me to break down the season three trailer for titans

leading on bruce "using fear to control everyone" - we see parallels to jonathan crane on that one right away, and we know that he will be one of the Big Bads going in to the season, and I’m guessing the guy who’s calling Bruce a psychopath using fear is (ironically) Jonathan crane himself. Dick goes to him for messed up therapy it looks like????

interestingly enough, this also is a call back to Under the Red Hood - "You wanna rule them by fear, but what do you do with the ones who aren't afraid? I'm doing what you won't, I'm taking them out." Sound familiar?

Seems this isn't the only Under the Red Hood reference we'll be getting. In this shot of Jason that we see of him approaching the crime lords of Gotham, this also parallels with a scene of him doing the exact same thing as in Under the Red Hood. It's starting to look like the Red Hood storyline will be more or less the comic and movie getting live-action adapted

JOKER BEATING JASON TO DEATH CONFIRMED?

Okay hear me out i know this seemed like it would obviously happen, but there were a lot of realistic reasons that it seemed like titans would shy away from this approach - for all that it has established itself as a very adult show, the nuances of displaying such a thing so graphicly (I use that term loosely, because this is still a very vague silhouette, albeit with very clear sound effects) especially when it is involving a character who is supposed to be a teenager on the younger side is VERY tricky and if you watched the trailer, the sound of it alone is very harrowing

Looks like Tim is going to be sort of taking on some of Duke’s backstory, maybe we’ll even see the We Are Robin campaign as it is established I believe that they adjusted his story to make him like a kid from the narrows because for some reason we csnt have a black kid who comes from a rich Gotham family (but that’s a rant for another day)

Bruce is also stepping down from the Batman mantle it looks like? So here’s hoping we follow comics canon and Tim pulls him back from that

Hot take though: we probably won’t see Tim as Robin until next season unless Titans does a strange timeskip (which it also looks like they’ll do). My guesses are either a timeskip between episode one or two, or a timeskip in episode one form the get go after about a quarter of it is spent establishing Gotham’s regression when Jason dies. Logistically, I want to say that at least half a year or even a full year (or more) would pass before he becomes the red hood? So the question is how long the Titans will be in Gotham before that

Dick is set to take the Batman mantle??? Which I’m kinda bummed out about because we barely got Nightwing last season and it would be nicer to see him get comfortable in that persona, rather than have him grapple with the cowl and the idea of being Batman. We saw that enough in the season two flashback episodes

Hawk and dove on their same BS again. Not much to say there

Kory???? ARE YOU OKAY????? Because by the looks of it the fear toxin got our queen kind of good, or it could be Blackfire’s influence on her??? Disappointingly, not much was revealed for the blackfire storyline even though she’s legitimately a bigger threat than the Red Hood

ALSO the “red hood is a biblical brother” like could be a reference to how he and scarecrow teamed up in Arkham Knight (if I’m not mistaken), so there’s a chance that rather than actually “dying”, Jason is just presumed dead bc theyre taking things in a more Arkham Knight direction (I hope they don’t, that was even more brutal than his OG death in the comics)

Or “biblical brother” could be crane talking about Jason’s relationship to dick, who he seems to know somewhat personally. With the red hood vs Nightwing snippet we got, it could be a cain vs Abel situation, and this further implies that crane knows their secret IDs

RAVEN WHITE SUIT!!! Very nostalgic for those Teen Titans watchers back in the day, and it looks like it’s some sort of Amazonian armor too? Like in teen Titans, this could be a signifier that she’s coming to terms with her powers and who she is as her father’s daughter

We didn’t get much Gar content, but by the looks of it our boy is once again saddled with the responsibility when all the adults go to play. With the timeskip it’s likely we won’t see his recovery form the aftermath of Cadmus :/ but at least I hope we get his reaction to Jason’s death? Because they were really tight next season and that’s a friendship that should be explored more

Speaking of teen Titans looks - kory’s eyes glowing full green in the trailer? About time we got over her powers being blocked

No scenes of Kory and dick yet in the trailer, which is atrocious. A lot of dick and babe, and I can’t be the only comic book reader that’s sick of the dick and Kory and Babs love triangle. Let him be with Kory. PLEASE.

Interestingly enough, no rose in the trailer. Not sure if she’s confirmed to be in the season, but fingers crossed that the toxic romance from last season is put on hold

Overall the season looks really strong, but I’m still going in skeptical that they’ll sideline a lot of POC characters - kory, blackfire, gar, Tim - but it’s shaping up to be one of the best seasons so far for Titans. There’s definitely a lot more to unpack that I might do in a part two or a later post!

#📦#tadpole croaks #📰.dc #titans #dick grayson #Jason todd #bruce wayne #blackfire #hbo max #Tim drake #starfire

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it-was-all-a-beautiful-dream · 3 years

Text

Opposites attract (Paul Lahote x Reader) Chapter 4

Warnings: Swearing?

Word Count: 1.7k

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Life had a round about way of giving you what you had longed for all along.

You had spoke to Paul for hours up on the mountain side, the world around you quiet as the only thing you could focus on was him. You sat side by side, invisible sparks crackling between warm skin as he told you everything there was to know about your new found wolfiness. He reassured you that even though you were mates, it didn’t mean you had to feel pressured into anything, an imprint was there to be anything for their other half, a friend, a lover.. You shivered at the sound of being Paul Lahote’s lover, you had to stop yourself from pinching yourself a few times.

It was dark by the time you made the descent down the frosty mountain, in normal circumstances you would have most likely died of hypothermia by now, but as you’d established, life was anything but normal.

You were laughing at something Paul had said when you heard a twig snap in the distance, it caught Pauls attention to, he tensed, pushing you behind him. Your face scrunched against his back as a foul smell invaded your senses and that’s when it happened.

A flash of red hair was all it took for your body to start quivering.

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“So that was a vampire?” You were changing back into clothing, your other stuff shredded in the shift. “I thought they would look… less human?” Your nose scrunched up when you thought about the vampire stench that came off the one they called Victoria.

You looked towards Paul who was tense with a capital T. He was mad that he didn’t sense her approach sooner, hating the fact that you were newly shifted and still had much to learn about being a wolf. What if something had happened to you? Luckily the red headed vamp disappeared when you and Paul started chasing her, the pack had followed behind in a second, your link alerting them to the threat nearby.

You walked closer to him, scared that he might be too angry. His back was rippling and his muscles tensed. Your small warm hand reached up to touch the space between his shoulder blades and it was like magic. In an instant he relaxed as invisible electrical current crackled between your skin.

He turned slowly and looked down at you, his gaze warm and calm when he looked into your eyes. He took your hand and pulled you into him, your bodies colliding in a much needed embrace, his chin resting on the top of your head. You sighed and snuggled your face into his toned chest as his arms came around you like a cocoon of safety.

“Yes Y/N, that, was a vampire. The only reason she’s here is because of the fucking Cullens and their pet project.” You felt his jaw tense on the top of your head, your hands rubbing small circles on the lower part of his back.

“What do you mean their pet project?” You hadn’t found out about Bella yet and her involvement with the Cullens. Vampires were your natural enemy now, but some part of you still found it romantic that a blood sucking demon fell in love with a human. A human that you didn’t really know, had only met in passing when she was little and used to visit the Blacks. Since then, you’d never seen her again, but by the sounds of things, you’d be seeing her very soon.

Sam had agreed to helping the Cullens. The pack had a treaty with them but it was unheard of for Wolves and Vampires to help each other, at least that’s what you were told anyway, you were still trying to wrap your head around the fact that when you got angry a bushy tail would maybe appear.

Alice, one of the Cullens, could see the future? Honestly things were still feeling like a dream. Anyway, she could see the future and had a vision of a big bad newborn vampire army appearing from the watery depths below and invading forks. Naturally the Cullens would have handled it on their own if they could, but the numbers predicted were too many and they needed help. That’s where you guys came in. They would never see you coming.

“So were going to learn how to fight these newborns?” Paul had sat down while giving you the lowdown, his arms never leaving your waist, he just plopped you on his knee instead. You felt him tense again.

“Paul if you tense anymore you’re going to break a bone.” Your fingers found the back of his head, playing with and twisting the dark hair at the nape of his neck.

“You’re not going to learn to fight anything.” That made you halt your finger twirling. You looked at him with a scowl and he raised an eyebrow as if saying “try me.”

“Im a wolf like the rest of you now, just because i’m your soulmate doesn’t mean I shouldn’t know how to defend myself or learn how to.. you know… be a frikin wolf! What if you weren’t around and some vampire came about and boom, Y/N doesn’t know how to defend herself, then what?” You stood up from his lap, pacing slightly in front of him.

“I’ll never leave your side so you don’t have to worry about that babe.” That made your heart flutter but also angered you at the same time.

“As much as I love that Paul, it’s not realistic, what if Sam sends me off with other members of the pack or what if something comes up and you’re just not around? You can’t guarantee that you’ll always be around.” You watched Paul huff. Actually huff life a child would when they were told off.

“Awh come on you big baby, i’ll be fine!” You were interrupted by Sam and Emily coming through the door, Quil, Embry and Jake following behind, Leah coming in seconds after the rest.

“Who’s fine where, what?” Leah grabbed a cookie from a bowl Emily put out, she still want gotten over the feeling of betrayal when Sam left her to go to Emily, but you thought you saw a glimpse of… something there. Maybe she was getting used to being around them and the guys more. You’d like to think it would help now that you’d be around too, she had a confidant, a shoulder to lean on. You’d have to talk to her after, when you were both alone, find out if she was okay with everything going on. It’s not exactly like you could help it, but still, you wouldn’t be a good friend if you didn’t at least check in.

“Nothing, Paul is just worried about me learning to fight with the rest of you guys, you know, for the big, impending doom of the vampire army.” Sam frowned.

“I have to admit, I kinda agree with Paul on this one.” Leah stopped munching on her cookie when Sam finished his sentence. Embry and Quil looked around awkwardly and Jake wasn’t really paying too much attention.

“The training starts in two days and you’ve only just turned for the first time today, it might be too early for you to gain control over your wolf.”

You couldn’t believe Sam was siding with Paul. What the hell was the point of you turning and being chosen to be a Wolf, being told you’d have to give up everything you’d been working towards, for you to then be told you can’t fight and do what the fuck you were designed to now do.

“This is bullshit. I was perfectly fine being a normal girl, studying, working towards something I’d been dreaming of my whole life. Now this happens and you tell me i’m not ready. Whatever.” Leah stood at the same time you did, you heard Paul’s chair scrape back.

“Babe come on, it’s not like that.” You glared at him.

“Then what’s it like Paul, because i’m sure if I was a guy and didn’t have an imprint and the roles were reversed, i’d be training with the rest of you, newly shifted or not.” You grabbed your phone and house keys and made your way to the door, Leah walking beside you, most likely knowing exactly how you felt.

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The next morning you woke to 20 missed calls and 40 texts, mostly from Paul a couple from Sam, one from Emily and even one from Jake. You snorted as you turned over in bed, noticing Leah sprawled out like a starfish, mouth hanging open, hair in every direction. Same old Leah.

You opened the message from Emily, wondering what she would have to say, she wasn’t someone you’d really spoke to before because of the whole love triangle but she seemed nice.

“I spoke to Sam about how unfair it was for you to miss out, all sorted ;)” .. what the hell did that mean?

Then you read the messages from Sam. “Training starts tomorrow at 8am, don’t be late, sorry about what happened the other day, i’m not used to having a pair of imprints in the pack.”

You could see where he was coming from. As the leader it was probably hard to always please everyone and Sam was obviously siding with Paul because he’d been part of his pack longer, friends when they were younger and he knew what it felt like to have the need to protect your mate. Still, they would just have to get used to it.

Leah soon woke and then left, pack duties. You would be put on duties soon enough, but first, you needed training. So that left you with a day of doing nothing, well, that was until you heard a knock on your.. bedroom window?

You grabbed the first thing that was closest to you for protection, a hairdryer. You hadn’t opened your curtains yet so couldn’t see what horror awaited, what if that red headed vamp followed you, but wait, wouldn’t you smell her? Or are your abilities not heightened enough yet? You got closer to the window when there was a knock again. The closer you got the happier you felt. Frikin Paul. Curtains pulled back, balcony door opened, your soulmate stumbled through wearing nothing but shorts.

“Babe, you’re a werewolf, were you seriously going to attack me with a hairdryer?"

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@mariasblogsworld @rosella26 @punkfrogz @jjpogueprincess

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@stinkii-boii

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