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just-sp-in-inginthevoid · 1 year

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SAITO MUSASHIBO BENKEI, THE JAPANESE GOD OF WAR, THE FOUR HEAVENLY KINGS AND DRAGON SYMBOLISM BOTH IN CHINA AND JAPAN

— AND BLACK DRAGON FIRST GEN

(I’ll start with Benkei since he’s the reason this post exists. And also it makes things easier.)

BENKEI

Saitō Musashibō Benkei (西塔武蔵坊弁慶), popularly known as simply Benkei (弁慶), is said to have defeated 200 men in each battle he was personally involved in. In Tokyo Revengers, Benkei’s actual name is Arashi (荒師) Keizo (慶三) and if you take a closer look both ‘-kei’ in Benkei and Keizo are the same. They are written with the same kanji. Isn’t that beautiful. (In Tokyo Revengers ‘Benkei’ is only written in Katakana.)

He was first named Oniwaka (鬼若 ; demon/ogre child), because he was born with wild hair, long teeth and grew faster than other children. He was also a troublemaker, fighting with other children, breaking things. Because of his behavior he was behavior sent him to a monastery. Getting into a monastery and becoming a monk didn’t not calm Oniwaka down who kept getting in troubles and sent from monastery to monastery, from temple to temple. At seventeen he left the monasteries for good and take on the name Saito Musashibo Benkei.

Benkei wandered around Kyoto every night to take 1000 swords. After winning 999 swords (he had never lost a battle in his life), he came across Minamoto no Yoshitsune who he decided he’ll take the sword of and get his 1000th sword. Minaomoto no Yoshitsune’s sword was gilded. He was also much more shorter than Benkei since he was a child (10 years old or so). Benkei lost. Not long after he asked for a rematch and lost once again. After that he became Minamoto no Yoshitsune’s servant, followed him and fought by his side. They stayed together as outlaws until they both died. Benkei is seen as the picture of loyalty.

The temple Atago, nowadays the temple Benkei, has a statue of Benkei which is six feet and two inches tall (just like Benkei in Tokyo Revengers). There’s only ruins and a single pine tree where the ancient temple Benkei once was.

Minamoto no Yoshitsune(源義経), born Ushiwakamaru (牛若丸 ; young bull) is one of the most famous and liked samurai in Japan. Since Benkei swore loyalty to him, there could be Shinichiro (+his sword was gilded). Yoshitsune was also said to fight as if he was flying so perhaps Wakasa ? But Benkei would never admit any kind of defeat against Wakasa if it even ever happens (there’s a reason why Kanto was cut in half between those two). So Senju ? She’s stronger than Benkei and Wakasa as a teen. I don’t know. Wakasa, Oniwaka and Ushiwakamaru share the same ‘waka’ kanji (若). It could mean nothing. But also Wakui could’ve chosen another name for Wakasa and not let me questioning things. And like. The ‘Ushi’ in both Ushiwakamaru and Imaushi is the same (牛) as well. So. Perhaps. Wakasa is Minamoto no Yoshitsune. But i’m a bit iffy about it. But since Wakui wrote them as a duo and you can’t talk about Benkei without talking about Yoshitsune and vice versa...

GOD OF WAR, FOUR HEAVENLY KINGS

(Hope y’all remember Shinichiro nicknamed Takeomi ‘rain bringer’)

I thought ‘god of war’ refered to Hachiman, and it might since he’s a japanese god of war and of agriculture (so perhaps has a weak or strong link to the rain) and I think he is to an extent since he was the protector of the Minamoto clan AND Hachiman is said to be the one to determine a samurai’s fate (aKa if they win or lose their battles) just like Takeomi says ("I was feared, sice my decisions determined how any conflict would end.") BUT. The Four Heavenly Kings. Vaiśravaṇa (means: ‘very famous’). Bishamonten. God of war and warriors, seen as a punisher of evildoes and ruler of rain. Carrying an umbrella ('chatra' ; which symbolizes kingship, sovereignty).

Dhṛtarāṣṭra. Jikokuten. King of the east. Associated with the color white. In China, he is named Chíguó Tiān (持國天 lit. "King who holds a country") (Dhṛtarāṣṭra means ‘protector of the nation’) because it is said he helps support a country against enemies. Wakasa is the one who at the end harmonized Kodo Rengo and caused the twelves gangs to unionize and ruled over the eastern side of Kanto. He is often pictured with a fierce expression trampling a jaki. (we're gonna talk about jaki later, i promise you)

Virūpākṣa. Birubakusha. King of the west. Associated with the color red. Whether it be in China or Japan, he is shown having a red skin. He is also sommonly seen trampling a jaki. Or, Benkei, also nicknamed Red Cliff, and once ended up painted in red with enemies' blood, who ruled the western side of Kanto with Ragnarok. Virūpākṣa means ‘wide eyes’ and refers to awareness.

Virūḍhaka. Birurokusha.The only one left. Definitively Shinichiro. Although with how Dhṛtarāṣṭra is described (‘harmonious and compassionate, protects all beings’ I did doubt a bit as whether it was really Wakasa bc he is the one to have become leader of Kodo Rengo among the twelve gangs forming it). In China, he is called Zēngzhǎng Tiānwáng (增長天 lit. Growth King) because he has the ability to teach to sentient beings how to grow compassion. Virūḍhaka in Sanskrit means ‘sprouting grain’ or ‘growing large’, still referring to this idea of ‘increase’ or ‘growth’. In Japan, he has a fierce expression while trampling a jaki.

(By the way, Kakucho, Mochi, Shion and Ran are the Four Heavenly Kings of Tenjiku. But I’m still convinced it fits BD first gen better)

Alright, so what a jaki ?

Amanojaku or Amanjaku is a small oni able to see into people’s heart, to detect and inflame a person’s darkest desire and convince them into doing gravely wicked deeds. When Amanojaku is ordered to do something, it does the opposite. It is considered an opponent of Buddhist teachings and is commonly depicted as being trampled on and subdued into righteousness by one of the Four Heavenly Kings (often Bishamonten). In this context only is it called jaki. One of the most famous appearance of Amanojaku is in Urikohime (melon princess) where it kidnaps and sometimes impersonates her after eating her.

So yeah, I think I’ve found Mikey’s dark impulses.

DRAGONS

(starting with chinese culture)

The Chinese dragon symbolizes prosperity and good luck, potent and auspicious power. An easy thing to point out is the Dragon being the symbol of Chinese emperors but it is as easy at it is relevant. Because, if Black Dragon, Shinichiro, ruled over Japan, then yes, he was an emperor. Most importantly, during the Qing dynasty, the imperial dragon was yellow/gold like Shinichiro’s image color and during the Ming dynasty it was red, like Mikey’s. The Dragon is also believed to be the ruler of water, such as rain but also waterfalls, typhons, seas… It is sometime called ‘Dragon King ‘ although there are severals (5) Dragon Kings, one for each cardinal point and seasons (Black/Dark/Mysterious dragon – north - winter ; white dragon – East – fall ; Cannibar/Vermillon dragon – south – summer; Azure/blue-green dragon – west – spring) each who ruled on different sea who were metaphorical boundaries of China during pre-Han dinasty (the south sea, the west sea which were both real and the made-up west and north seas (which were ‘discovered’ later – they’re lakes. Qinghai Lake and Lake Baikai)). The last ruled on the ‘middle’, the Yellow (or gold, really) Dragon. (linked with late summer)

Also, I think if we have to link a Dragon to one of the first gen members, the white dragon would go to Wakasa and red/cannibar/vermillon to Benkei but then. Hear me out. Takeomi is the azure/blue-green dragon and Shinichiro is the yellow one. And the black/dark/mysterious is left alone. Because it’s the whole gang. But the Yellow dragon is the dragon kinda piecing everything together and that’s the point. Shinichiro as BD creator and leader embodied both the gang as a whole and himself as an individual. Black Dragon is the Black/Dark/Mysterious dragon and also the Yellow dragon and Shinichiro is the Yellow dragon and the Drak/Black/Mysterious dragon.

BUT THEN. The Dragons Kings and the Four Guardians/Gods are basically the same thing. So The white dragon (Byakko, Baihu in Chinese) is a tiger, the black dragon (Genbu, Xuanwu in Chinese) is a tortoise, the red (Suzaku, Zhuque in Chinese) dragon is a bird and the blue dragon (Seiryu, Qinglong in Chinese) is a… dragon. Japan doesn’t seem to have a Yellow dragon, they are only four of them – like the OG BD founders. (but also it kinda does ? I’m still confused about whether or not they have five or four dragons sorry about that.)

BUT THEN. Because nothing can be easy. The black tortoise is written with those kanji 玄武 (can also be read ‘mysterious warrior’) and you know what ? Takeomi’s name is written with those kanji : 武臣. (and also Senju said to Takemichi that they are the mysterious siblings once). So at the end it’s the azure dragon that is left alone. Since, while Japan doesn’t have a yellow dragon, Shinichiro’s image color is gold. Edit: The Kanji for 'Take' in 'Takemichi' is also 武.

Since the Dragon was seen as the ruler of water and water-related weather phenomenas, many temples were dedicated to them and they were offered sacrifices when drought or flooding were happening or in time of dryness. So it was to either ask for the water to stop or to come.

The Dragon God/King worship is celebrated with sacrifices (to only name the one religious pratice I succeeded to link to TokRev –). It was on the fifth or sixth moon (/month) of the Chinese year. In 2003, the Chinese year started on the 1st of February. So six months later, it’d be August. And… the Worship of the Dragon God is celebrated especially on the date of his birthday the thirteenth day of the sixth moon. Shinichiro died on the 13th of August. (+it's the first day of Obon, the Japanese days of the dead that lasts from August 13th to August 15th; ghost are said to come back on earth and visit their family)

Yeah.

So, now that we’ve established how Shinichiro is linked to the dragon let me add that people who are deemed excellent and outstanding are compared to dragons in chinese culture.

In Japan, once knowledge/believes from China (Tang dynasty) came in, buddhist raimaking ritual prayers involved dragon kings. And the rain ritual was performed regularly.

Still, Japan already had dragons before Chinese people came in. Japanese dragons are also linked to their emperors since it is believed a Dragon is the ancestor of the emperors. They are more nuanced than the helpful Chinese dragons – Japan has dragons who are both ‘good’ and ‘bad’, they’re humanized. They’re shapeshifting masters – if a human sees them in their dragon form is because they decide so, otherwise they’re able to look and act like a human (and mate. There . You have your explanation as to how a dragon can be a human’s ancestor.) or any other thing/being they want to appear as. Some rule from the clouds and others from the water. The one coming from the water are linked to bodies of water and rain (which seems to be most of them, the dragon is seen as a water deity) like their chinese counterpart. They very rarely have wings, when they do their wings are as small as those of a bat.

The Japanese blue/azure dragon is the guardian of cities. The japanese white dragon (O Goncho) which appears every 50 years as a golden bird, its cry means famine is coming.

Dragons symbolize wealth, perseverance and wisdom in Japan.

ADDITIONAL STUFFS

- The Dragon and the Tiger are seen as mighty rivals (龍虎, Ryūko, the kanji are literally 'dragon' and 'tiger') in Japanese culture - hence, Kazutora being the one to kill Shinichiro was a good way to show the balance was no more (as neither the Dragon nor the Tiger ever win against one another) + might be the reason why Mikey chooses his neck to have his dragon tattoo and why he chooses the left side (Kazutora having his tiger tattoo on the right) - it's for the symbolism

- Four clans dominated politics during the Heian period. Now, the four clans don’t seem to hold any informations that can be relevant to Tokyo Revengers. Except for one. And I don’t see in what but it has to be. It’s the Tachibana (橘) clan and you’d think, what a coincidence but op it might not be the same kanji. It is. It is and it’s beautiful but I can’t find how it can be important. It’s probably isn’t, honestly. But. But it’s here.

- The logo of Ragnarok was a Byakko. A white tiger, so a Byakko, was said to appear when the emperor rules with absolute virtue or if there was world peace. Ironic for a gang named ‘Ragnarok’. (But then wasn't Shinichiro —?)The Byakko is the guardian of the West, it is the white dragon. In Chinese art, it often depicted alongside the dragon. In Japan, the dragon is often seen with a tiger so it honestly surprises me there aren’t that much tigers in TokRev. I can name Kazutora but no other character comes right to my mind when thinking of tigers.

- The Kanji for Kodo Rengo (煌道連合) mean stuff:

煌 : glitter, gleam, twinkle

道 : road-way, street, district, journey, course, moral, teachings

連 : take along, lead, join, connect, party, gang, clique

合 : fit, suit, join. (The verb 合う means : to come together, to merge, to unite, to meet)

‘Rengo’ does fit Kodo Rengo well, since it is a gang made of several gangs who came/merged together. ’Kodo’ is also something, that while it doesn’t seem to hold that much meaning (i’m not fluent or anything in japanese, i can’t tell if it really doesn’t)

On the other hand, Ragnarok (螺愚那六)...

螺:small, edible, helical fresh-water mollusk

愚:foolish, folly, absurdity, stupid, foolishness; silliness; stupidity; folly

那: what ?

六: six

I don’t know. Maybe it does indeed mean something, maybe it’s just because those are kanji that sounds like ‘Ragnarok’ (six is pronounced 'roku', that I know of, so it's close to 'rok' - and the other are pronounced 'ra', 'gu', and 'na' respectively in on'yomi) when put together and they weren’t gonna wrote it in Katakana but – yeah, idk. Maybe I just didn’t find what this could possibly mean…

- Chinese dragons mostly have five claws whereas Japanese dragon mostly have three ! That’s why Draken and Mitsuya’s (and Manila/Bad Toman Mikey’s) tattoo has three claws :) ! Same thing for the Black Dragon’s flag ! I’m sure these (in red) are claws ! And those are wings (in blue), and that’s the body (green) (listen, either they can draw and it was a choice or none of them can and they did their best):

- For 武臣(Takeomi) Nihongomaster gives ‘warrior, military, chivalry, arms’ as translation for 武 and ‘retainer, servant‘ or ‘an hereditary title, originally one of the two highest such titles, later demoted to sixth highest of eight for 臣. So the first kanji can be there to 1. refers to his title of ‘God of War, of warriors’ and/or 2. the black tortoise/dragon and the second kanji can be there to show how he felt down in disgrace ? He was the Vice-president of Black Dragon and then he wasn’t – he lost significance.

- to add to Benkei’s name (Arashi Keizo), I don’t have more to say about ‘Keizo’ but Arashi (荒師) – 荒 means rough, rude, wild and 師 : expert, master, professional, teacher, a religious figure. And Benkei (as in, the mythological figure) was a troublemaker (at least as a child) and a (rebellious) monk

Edit.: Saitō Musashibō Benkei (西塔武蔵坊弁慶). Well. This Kanji seems rather common. Or did Wakui do it on purpose ?..

- I didn’t find anything about Wakasa and it pisses me off. Nor about him, nor about his name (Ushiwakamaru aside), nor about ‘white leopards’ and how they’re seen in japan. (EDIT: figured out the 'white leopard' part somewhere in this post)

- If someone knows what temple South’s name refers to, please tell me. His name means temple of the south it has to be important. Him, Senju and Mikey were called ‘the three deities’ there’s must be something and i don’t see it i hate this

Edit: Ok, so at the very start Christian missionary (and Japanese Christians) practice their religion in 南蛮寺; Nanba-ji. (reminder: South Terano; 南寺野). 南蛮, 'Nanban' means 'South Barbarians' and was used to describe Japan neighbor countries at first (Southern China, Southern Asia, Ryukyu Islands...). But then it got used to describe European foreigners - mostly Portuguese (and Spanish) people (explorers, missionaries, merchants). The word 南蛮 isn't commonly used in Japan nowadays

I also recommend y'all to go search about irl Rokuhara Tandai and the fact they had two chiefs, the less powerful one being the one from the south (of kyoto)

- Brahman is 梵 and means the unchanging, infinite, immanent and transcendent reality which is the divine ground of all matter, energy, time, space, being and everything beyong this Universe (hinduism). The nature of Brahman is described as transpersonal, personal and impersonal. In chinese (figuratively) it means quiet, paeceful, undisturbed.

Bonten is 梵天 (can be read as Brahma (not Brahman)) and is either an alternative form of Brahman or it can refer to Brahma, one of the three supreme deities and the Hindu god of creation.

Remembering Senju dies in Bonten timeline I – yeah. She was Mikey’s childhood friend if not Takeomi and Sanzu’s sister.

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ghostie-galaxi · 2 years

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hey! If you have time or feel like it, could you write about how the drippin members would act when they have a crush? or maybe what they would be like as a best friend? thank you!!

Yeah, of course! The MCND reaction I did to this was so fun to do so I'll gladly do this.

Sorry this took a few days to, I kept forgetting about it 😅

Drippin when they have a crush

Yunseong

Somehow manages to stay calm and collected around you

Like he'd be more like and older brother that just looks out for you all the time but also has the gentleman vibes

Like I just picture him constantly brushing hair away from your face, having his arm around you, holding his jacket over you in the rain or sharing an umbrella with you

He's just that comfortable slow build to a relationship

Loves surprising you with flowers before you're even dating

Platonic cuddles and falling asleep ok each other

None of the others are sure why he waited so long to tell you he liked you

He waited for just the right moment to ask you out on a date

And he treated you like a princess the whole night

Gets a little flustered at the end when you kiss him goodnight

Hyeop

Giggly mess all the time

The type to get shy just thinking about you and burry his red face into his pillow

But he's surprisingly not that shy around you

Like he's ok with just coming up to you and talking to you or asking you a question

At one point it gets to him just wanting to be around you and looking for any reason to do so

Mostly just asking if you want to follow him to pick up food

And eventually he'd have the courage to ask you out on a date

Literally can't sleep the night before just thinking about it

Does everything he can to keep you smiling the entire time

Asks if he can kiss your cheek and pulls away after he gets too excited about it

Changuk

Probably the one to playfully mess with you to cover up the fact that he likes you

But also doesn't let anyone else mess with you

Like he's the first to defend you all the time

Which results in him accidentally calling you pretty or smart when they others might joke that you're dumb

You don't really say anything to him about it but the others also tease him about it constantly

Which results in you eventually asking if there's a reason why he does it

To which he has no choice but to say he likes you

You get super happy but then he teases you and says he's joking, but you know he means it

So now you get a playful relationship where you both casual roast each other

But love each other nonetheless *insert you with your arms around his side and his arm around your shoulders while he roles his eyes*

Dongyun

He's so calm about it you didn't even realize he had a crush on you until someone told you

Even though he's actually too nervous to even be around you and he's really good at hiding it

The others literally start forcing him to be around you or convincing you to be around him

Because he literally just can't do it on his own

Starts warming up to the idea though when you start getting more comfortable around him

Tests the waters one day by holding your hand when you were really close to him

And from that day on he really starts to become putty in your hands

Lays his on you all the time, teases you, cuddles into your side

You're surprised he never asked you sooner to be his girlfriend

But you don't hesitate to say yes when he finally asks

Minseo

Shy shy shy (yes you are obligated to read that in Sana's voice)

He so nervous to even talk to you

Pretty much just cliche like he stutters so much when he has to talk to you

But he's so happy when you don't think he's weird for it

If it gets out to the others they might be the ones to encourage him to to just try and get more comfortable around you

Or they might just tell you secretly so then you can help him along

I'm imagining like one night if you guys are watching a movie together you go and sit by him and end up leaning your head on him

Explodes into a million shades of red and physically can't move

Finally gets the courage to ask you on a date

Runs away and fanboys after you say yes

Junho

Tries to be flirty and fails

Mainly because the other members probably come and mess it up and he gets flustered and forgets what he was trying to say or do

He thinks he messes everything up but secretly you find it cute

He keeps trying in hopes of having at least 1 good interaction with you

But he feels like he messes it up every time

So he's surprised when you're the one to ask him to go do something with you

You both get a day together where he's not dealing with the others messing him up

And he gets to really spend time with you

Finally gets to ask if you'll be his girlfriend even with all the mistakes

You of course say yes and said you thought he was cute when the others would make him flustered when he tried to talk to you

Alex

I feel like he would love learning more about you all the time and come to find you being the coolest person ever

So then after that he just wants to try and impress you all the time, no matter what

Secretly hopes you're watching him all the time if you ever see them dancing or even just him playing video games

I would love if he'd be the type to think about you constantly and find things that remind him of you

Probably even buys you things just because of that reason even if you aren't dating

He also gives me friends to lovers scenario vibes

Any late night spending time with you is his favorite, even if it's just video game hang outs and you start slowly falling asleep

Mixes it up one night and decides to go somewhere with you, maybe like a late night diner or something

Walks you back him and probably tells his feelings to you then

You end the night with kissing his cheek before saying goodbye

#kpop #kpop reactions #kpop scenarios #drippin #drippin reactions #drippin scenarios #drippin fic #drippin imagines #yunseong #hyeop #changuk #dongyun #minseo #junho #alex

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unprocione · 1 year

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➤ * 𝗘𝗠𝗜𝗟𝗘 ( @emile8 ) 𝑟𝑒𝑞𝑢𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑎 𝑚𝑒𝑡𝑎 𝑜𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑡 ❝ 𝗛𝗢𝗠𝗘. ❞

✦ WHAT MAKES A HOME? A home is a place of refuge. A person’s most personal belongings are kept in a home, and it’s where a person feels safe and accepted. A home tells a story and expresses a person or family’s interests. To create a home requires an emotional connection and sense of belonging, not physical things. A house can be a home but a home can’t be a house. You can live in a house that doesn’t feel like a home. Or you can find “home” in a house that isn’t yours because home isn’t a physical construct, it’s a feeling. To be a home, it needs to feel comfortable, like a place you belong to and are at peace with. A house may be decorated with the nicest furnishings money can buy, but that won’t necessarily make it a home. The feeling of “home” can’t be bought. It’s an intimate relationship we have with the personal space we live in. A home reflects who we are, our personality, and how we choose to live our lives.

* while i know the above pictures from resident evil: damnation are likely of a hotel room, based on the construction & context, i'm choosing to think of this as leon's bedroom on purpose for personal characterization.

✦ WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO LIVE IN A ❝ SPARTAN ❞ LIFESTYLE? A spartan lifestyle or existence is very simple or strict, with the minimum of luxuries. Living a spartan lifestyle means embracing simplicity and self-discipline, and focusing on developing physical and mental strength, buying and using only what is needed to accomplish your task. No spare rooms, no extra cars, no fancy meals, no desserts, no frills. Additionally, it is important to remember that living a Spartan lifestyle does not mean living a life of poverty or deprivation, but rather one of simplicity and self-discipline. The lifestyle is very basic because all efforts are devoted to the military and to the state.

Simplify your possessions and living space. Get rid of anything you don't truly need and focus on keeping only the essentials.

Embrace physical fitness and challenge yourself to push your limits through regular exercise and training.

Practice self-discipline and self-control by setting rules and boundaries for yourself, and holding yourself accountable to them.

✦ WHAT DOES MINIMALISM SAY ABOUT YOU? A minimalist person is someone who has a simple, uncluttered lifestyle, someone who seeks simplicity, usefulness and clarity. They don't believe in owning things for the sake of owning things — they only keep what is truly important to them. Minimalists are often very organized and efficient and find satisfaction in pursuing meaningful relationships and activities. They pursue a lifestyle that focuses less on material possessions and more on what they value in life – what makes them happy.

✦ PERSONAL TOUCHES.

* framed photographs of dear friends & loved ones. pictured: claire redfield, ada wong, patrick devlin, ashley graham, helena harper. not pictured: jack krauser (frame is facedown), manuela hidalgo, sherry birkin, ingrid hunnigan, & luis sera.

* an unknown monstera, a pilea peperomioides, and a peace lily.

✦ PLACES OF INTEREST.

* weaponry workbench, vinyl record player, kitchen w/ cookbook storage, bedroom barcart, leon's weapons locker, & external home gym.

✦ HEADCANONS.

leon resides on a private and rural property in maryland, a good distance away from the city.

leon's residence is more house than home, more of a place to sleep than a place to rest. he's more at home in a familiar chain hotel than anywhere else, preferring to vacation over spending time in his empty house.

leon's absolutely pathetic at home maintenance, preferring to call in plumbers or electricians as needed, but he's also an absolute clean freak, the place is spotless, like scrubbing tile grout with a toothbrush on his hands and knees spotless.

prior to the disassembly of the anti-umbrella pursuit & investigation taskforce, leon & bruce mcgivern were bunkmates, both living in a barracks building provided by the organization.

leon prefers to live remotely, having become somewhat of a recluse, his home sheltered away from main roads & prying eyes by acres of forest.

leon has two locks on his bedroom door, and doesn't sleep with a sound machine, both in case of any scenarios involving possible intruders. the glass in his windows is also bulletproof, for the same rightfully paranoid reasoning.

leon doesn't get delivery. he doesn't get takeout. he doesn't do fast food at all whenever he has other options. leon grew up in a home where more often than not they had fast food for dinner as both parents worked and it was cheap and easy, and now that he has a home of his own, he prefers to cook for himself at every chance, mealpreps, and experiment with recipes when he has time. his tupperware collection is impressive. he would probably marry his air fryer if he could legally. leon kennedy, disgusted by a cheap hamburger to the point of nausea, but says he could really go for a steak right now when confronted with a rotten bovine carcass.

leon's first houseplant was his monstera, purchased after the events of resident evil: damnation, which he keeps by his bedside window. leon's second houseplant was his pilea peperomioides, purchased after the events of resident evil: six. leon's most recent houseplant is his peace lily, purchased after resident evil: vendetta. leon keeps all three of his plants in his bedroom.

the interior of leon's home is sparsely decorated, with very few personal touches, such as the vinyl record player, his plants, cookbooks, and photographs of his loved ones.

leon has a collection of cookbooks, some of which are in different languages.

leon's sink stays crowded with hair care products.

leon never really unpacks when he’s home, and it shows in the meticulous magazine perfection of everything. he spends more time in hotels than he ever does at his own home. leon is out of touch with civilian life, he’s never too comfortable, constantly on guard in the silence of his own empty house, unable to shut his mind off due to his post traumatic stress disorder, and so he doesn’t nest, so to speak.

leon is at his most comfortable at home while in the dark, with a bag of popcorn and a stack of movies to binge his way through.

leon keeps a ducati xdiavel & a white ford crown victoria in his garage. he added a gunsmith's workbench / armorer's bench to his garage during his furlough in 2009 while working on the design & construction of the sentinel 9 handgun.

leon prefers to sleep a thin, fleece blanket, and that’s it, a higher than average body temperature keeping him warm throughout the night. when the bed is made properly, it’s made with duvets and multiple pillows and quilts, and it’s all entirely for show, in a bedroom emulating normalcy ripped straight from a catalogue.

leon cleans out his refrigerator as soon as he hears that he has another assignment to tend to, to prevent spoilage while he’s away (he has a very sensitive sense of smell), so when he comes back, he immediately hits the grocery store on the way, no matter how tired he is. he definitely tries to carry his bags all at once.

leon doesn't have expensive taste, not even in alcohol. all of his belongings and furniture are of good quality, but not by any means designer or luxury items.

#» 🕊️ ﹕ the means only justify the ends. (study.) ❧#» 🕊️ ﹕ to protect ， to serve ，‘til death do us part. (headcanon.) ❧#thank u for sending this in emile!! :)#god i love leon. i know people have tried to help him decorate his house before and his reply is always 'but i don't really /need/ that...'#it's not about need my guy!! you're giving serial killer energy!!

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what-if-nct · 6 months

Note

HEYYYYY I THINK I TOLD YOU RECENTLY ABOUT HOW IM GOING TO THE MUSEUM WITH A FRIEND THAT I HAVE FEELINGS FOR AND I DIDNT KNOW IF IT WAS JUST AN OUTING OR A DATE. I STILL DONT KNOW BUT WE WENT OUT TODAY!!! I arrived there a bit early which is good for me because it gives me time to panic beforehand and I also realised the Christmas markets were right next to the museum. The museum was quite nice but not particularly interesting but I was talking a lotttt. I tend to be quite quiet actually but when I’m alone with them I’m constantly talking so I hope they are okay with that. My mercury is in their first house tho and my mercury has conjunctions and trines with lots of their placements. Their sun also conjuncts my moon which is cute. We got matching animal thingys at the museum gift shop. But afterwards, we go to the Christmas markets and it was raining a lot so we both had our big coats on and was sharing an umbrella. Ik that isn’t particularly significant but I liked that I got to be closer to them for a bit under the umbrella. But the umbrella kept breaking and going the wrong way because it was also extremely windy. I think it’s really cute when there’s games at an arcade or fair and one person wins a toy/plushie for the other so I kinda hinted at doing that but they didn’t win :/. I chose to do hook a duck so it was quite easy for me and so I got a hedgehog but I didn’t give it to them. It can be our child tho that I look after. We played darts but I failed miserably and they did alright but didn’t get enough points for a toy jellyfish. Then we searched for churros and were walking around everywhere and it was one of the last stalls where we got them. We were planning on surprising our friend who works in a shop but idk if we came at the right time or not. We waited there and started looking very silly just standing there and so we gave up. We went to different shops and looked around but didn’t buy much stuff. I did buy presents though for the person I have for secret Santa. After shopping we went back to the bus stop and hugging before they got on the bus. As there were a lot of people getting on the bus, it stayed there for ages so they waved a few times whilst i was waiting for my bus. I enjoyed it and they seemed too as well. Later on though some of us were talking on a gc about celebrity crushes. The person I like is the type to just read the stuff on the gc but not say anything really unless directly spoken to and so they were reading all of what we were saying. I put some pictures of Hyde of L’Arc en Ciel on there and pointed out how I loved his hair in one of the pictures. Another friend pointed out of the pictures and said “DAMN ITS GIVING SOMEONE” and it made me realise how he low-key looks like my friend I like in the picture especially with his hairstyle and yeah. I still don’t really know if it was a date or not (pretty sure it was just an outing but I’d like to be believe it was a date) but going to the museum and Christmas market as some of my favourite date ideas so yeah.

Im so happy you had a wonderful time. And it sounds like you had a really great time and I think either a date or just an outing at least you got to hang out with someone you like and go to know them better. I hope you get to spend more time with them and if not have a relationship at least build a really strong friendship.

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raedshadowlegends · 7 months

Text

Poker Face: The John-O Character

Omg hi howdy. Welcome back to a long essay featuring nothing groundbreaking whatsoever! Today we are going to be talking about Poker Face, the greatest show of all time. But more specifically, we're going to be talking about John-O.

For the uninformed-- John-O is a character featured briefly in the first episode of the series. He's only in two scenes but he sure is a silly little guy. Everyone loves John-O.

And upon my 17th rewatch, this time featuring my good friend @room215 , they pointed out that there seems to be a John-O-escue character in every single episode.

So we kept track of the John-O's. And now I'm going to be dissecting each one for no good reason.

Now there are no specific criteria for what makes a John-O. It's really just based on vibes. There are similar patterns between characters that are worth analyzing but for the most part you just know it when you see it.

I'll be talking about the first five episodes in this potentially very long post so grab yourself some popcorn and buckle up.

Oh and there will be spoilers. So go watch Poker Face if you haven't already, it's the best show ever actually.

Episode 1: Dead Man's Hand

John-O

BEHOLD! JOHN-O THE ORIGINAL!

There are definitely moments where I could get better pictures of him but I think this one is kinda perfect.

This is John-O. He is a silly little guy who has a history of stealing shit and breaking into places. He seems to be reformed because he states he "don't do this shit no more." So he is morally good. I trust him.

He's very silly and likes to add the suffix "-o" to the end of things he says. Like hey-o and good-o. He's just this goofy old man and his vibes are impeccable.

He's an ally to our friend Charlie Cale, helping her break into Nathalie's home despite his morals. He even offers to cut her in with his playboy sales. What a good guy.

Overall, John-O is a friend-o. He establishes our precedent of the "John-O character" being silly and the vibe that we're after.

Side Note: I love that Poker Face is an episodic show with a rotating cast of characters. It's seriously awesome and you don't see that shit often. However I am heartbroken at the loss of this man cause we probably won't see him again. It breaks my heart. I hope he's doing ok.

Episode 2: The Night Shift

"Meteor Shower" Trucker

Literally just this dude who is in one scene.

He is only here to tell Charlie about the meteor shower that evening. But he does it in the funniest fucking way imaginable. He literally gives Charlie a heart attack by just saying, "Meteor shower tonight." It's the funniest thing to me.

And I think about him way more often than I ought to. He's kinda skrunkly.

I said on the night during our analysis that he's cute in the same way on old man themed muppet is cute. Y'know? I feel like that makes some sense.

But yeah he's just here to be a jumpscare and tell Charlie about the Leonids. What a silly guy. I wish he was in more than one scene.

So far in our John-O analysis we have two quirky old dudes. The best kind of character imo.

Yeah I don't have much else to say on him </3

Episode 3: The Stall

Beto

Why does he look like that.

Anyways yeah, Beto is the John-O of episode 3. I do think he is pushing the amount of scenes a John-O can be in but it's ok cause he's kinda silly. He's just doing his job, man.

Poor guy is the one who found George's body. He's probably gonna have some issues for a while.

He's got some silly interactions with Charlie and even though they're brief, they're fun.

I actually don't have a lot to say about this guy. Whoops. My bad.

But you may have noticed he is not a skrunkly old man. That is true! He is not that.

I will be grouping this dude into the category of, "Guy who is just doing their job" under the broader "John-O" umbrella.

None of those words were in the Bible, I don't think.

Anyways, that's Beto for ya. Now we get to move on to my favorite guy!

Episode 4: Rest In Metal

Guy Who Threw The Stapler

Why the fuck would he do that.

I don't even know I can classify him as a John-O character but oh my god I think about him so much. Literally what is his deal, why the hell would he do this.

He is just here to throw a stapler at Gavin and whoop and holler. That's so fucking awesome.

That's all he does so I don't exactly know what else to say about him but I will add this:

My friends and I have been saying, "aREN'T YOU THE BAND THAT DOES STAPLEHEAD??? PLAY STAPLEHEAD!!!!!!!" to each other in the most man baby-escue voices possible for days now. It's the funniest thing on the planet.

*hits you with a stapler*

Episode 5: Time of the Monkey

Gino the Bull

This random guy in Howard Wolowitz's car.

He meets the flexible criteria of being a skrunkly old man so he gets points for that, for sure. ALSO HE'S KINDA SILLY?

He's just in the car being a silly goofy guy. These dissections are getting shorter and also worse. My bad guys, I'm really tired. Been staying up watching too much Poker Face B).

Anyways yeah, I don't know what his deal is. Very important to be a John-O, you just don't know what their fucking deal is.

I wanna say Gino the Bull is some kind of mafia/mob man? I dunno. I think it'd be funny if that were the case. That's my head canon at least.

So now we have three skrunkly old dudes, one man baby, and one Beto. Awesome.

Conclusion

I'm gonna cut this one of here before it gets too terribly long. Mainly so I can just get this posted. But also I imagine this shit is quite the long read.

My bad B).

BUT YEAH!!!

These are our first five John-O characters in Poker Face! Tune in soon to learn about the next five!

It's not gonna be as silly. Sorry. Episode 9 and 10 are major bummers and there's not much fun to be had there.

As always, thank you for reading <3

#I want to kiss Charlie Cale <3 #Poker Face is the only thing keeping me going #poker face #charlie cale #poker face show #essay #essay post

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jellofish4000 · 1 year

Text

A Careful Analysis of Life

01/25/2023

“Do you ever get the feeling that people are incapable of not caring?”

I get the feeling all the time. I get the feeling as I’m walking into class and someone holds the door for me. I get it when others share their umbrella with me in the rain and they walk to my side of the car before going to theirs. I got it this morning when my professor looked me in the eyes while addressing my question. Care is not tangible in the same way a piece of toast is. It cannot be used as a form of currency at the grocery store. Yet it is one of the most essential parts of life: One of the realest aspects of our existence. Care is like a needle held centimeters from your iris. It is like the needle that mends your favorite blanket.

It can really hurt so badly when you feel as though care is being withheld from you. In these instances, it’s you that starts to care. You hold yourself at this crippling level of scrutiny. You just want to know that someone cares. You fall in love with the idea of someone noticing your absence. At the same time your eyes can’t stop wandering to the person you want that care from. Your feet point towards them unconsciously. You find yourself with one shoe out of a conversation before it even starts, ready to bolt to that beacon of care as soon as it lights up.

Maybe it’s like a week later and you’ll look back on a dinner you had where you kept stuffing too much food in your mouth at a time and suddenly you’re thinking, damn I probably looked so disgusting. And next time you eat you take it so slow because this time you really care about how the people outside perceive you.

Sometimes you see something your friend would really love. Something they’d genuinely care for and your bank account isn’t exactly cushiony but you make it work anyways because you can’t help but care about what they care about.

When that person in your life has a most unpleasant habit and you tell yourself that you don’t mind like a mantra in your mind. Of course you love them so unconditionally. Except for this condition. It shouldn’t matter but it does. You shouldn’t care but you do.

That inconsolable fear buries itself in the pit of your stomach and it spreads itself throughout your body. Like this physical sense of fear. A debilitating fear that you will always be miserable. No matter what they say, or what is reasonable, or what is real, you just know you will be stuck in this way forever. People will make laps around you and eventually pass the finish line but for some reason you can’t move like that. You think very carefully about the things you could do. You might eventually, or maybe never. But you won’t do those things tonight, because maybe there’s a world moving around you and you know how much they care. The fear can make it really hard for you to care. But they care.

He comes home with a heavy sigh from a job that you hate. You agreed to move here because you care. He trudges into the living room and sees two children sat in front of a TV with highly processed frozen meals in front of them on the floor. Meeting you in the kitchen, his voice starts low and tired and escalates up several rungs of emotion before he’s screaming at you, “don’t you care?”, and he dangles this like a guillotine above your neck.

So you’re scrolling through pictures from some point in your life in the far past and you see their face staring back at you. You see yourself donning clothes and a haircut that now seems so distant. You know you would never wear that outfit now. You suddenly realize you don’t really know whether they would still be wearing theirs. Somewhere along the lines you stopped caring. But now you’re looking back on this picture and this point in your life and you wish you could convey to them somehow that, in this moment, you care. You care and they will never know. You wonder if they ever care about you in these undetectable ways.

Care is a continuous feeling we share and the most useful tool we can use. Happiness, sadness, emptiness, hate, kindness, these are all side effects of carefulness. It is a sort of emotional biology. It is a fact of living. Perhaps you feel underappreciated or unwelcome right now, but there will always be someone out there with a type of care you crave. We live our lives on a care to care basis and once your time comes, you should die knowing that people cared, because people truly are incapable of not caring.

#who cares #journal #my writing #the whale #jello journal

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caramelohaechan · 5 years

Text

Bad ass~ Kim Jungwoo Imagine

for @iam-uwu the sweetheart 💖

Fandom: NCT, NCT U, NCT 127

Genre: Fluff, baby

Warning(s): male! reader // suggestive talk// unedited// this is bad... sorry// um very very................bad// sorry okay bye

You watched with intrigue as people scurried around you like busy mice while you stood completely still. You felt if you moved a muscle that you’d disrupt this oddly organized chaos. Which, you should have seen coming. Shooting for music videos was always like this, an entire mess with flurries of people and voices. You always found it a little much, not really your taste, but you could never resist your boyfriend when he asked you to come.

Jungwoo was just a person no one could resist. You were sure that even the devil himself couldn’t say no to Jungwoo, that’s just how cute and gentle he was. He tended to latch onto ones arm when he was asking for things, making his eyes very wide and glossy and pouting his beautiful lips. There was no way to say no to that.

So that’s how you found yourself in the situation you were currently disliking; all because of your stupidly cute boyfriend. He didn’t want you to miss him too much, and since it was your own day off from work he invited you to tag along as he and his members filmed their new music video Wakey Wakey.

It was a whole ass bop and you were so incredibly proud of your boyfriend. Which was why you didn’t mind coming to such a hectic place for him.

Also, you really liked to watch Jungwoo dance. He always got extremely focused and had a sort of smoky demeanor. Like a bad boy. Which was the complete opposite of what he was.

Finally the madness around you calmed a bit and you found yourself looking at the boys parting to do their solo closeups. Your hands itched to go and hold Jungwoo, but you knew that you couldn’t risk messing up his makeup or the perfect messiness of his hair.

Instead you watched him laughing along with Jaehyun at Johnny’s new look for the MV. He caught your eyes exactly when a piece of hair fell across his forehead. You laughed lightly as he crossed his eyes to look at the specific strand. Before he could try and fix it himself he was whisked away to the set for his own closeup. You watched closely as he thanked the person and his parts of the song came on. He mouthed the lyrics and acted perfectly, making you smile broadly.

It didn’t seem like long, but after about fifteen minutes the manager called for a break and you were finally able to follow the members to their dressing room, the smile never leaving your face. You made a beeline around the members to get to Jungwoo, who was sitting and drinking water.

“Wow.” You said as you appeared behind him, placing your hands on his shoulders.

Jungwoo looked at you through the mirror before him and his lips lifted in an adorable grin. He giggled. “Was I good?”

You raised your eyebrows. “Amazing. Like always. You look good in all black. Almost like a badass.”

Jungwoo turned in his chair and pouted. “I am badass.”

You thought about the time that Jungwoo had made you carry him around your apartment because he had thought he had seen a bug in your kitchen (it had only been a fallen piece of seaweed).

“Yeah, you are.” You said instantly, trying your best to hide your smile.

Jungwoo’s pout increased before he sighed loudly. “I’m sorry that they’re making you stay back there while we film. I know this isn’t how you planned to spend your day off.”

“It’s fine. I wanted to be here, I knew what would happen.”

You forgot for a second that you weren’t supposed to mess up any part of Jungwoo’s appearance and kissed him on the lips. Your hands went to cup his face and you let your thumb and forefinger pinch his earlobe. He melted under your touch, tugging you around the chair by the edge of your shirt. His own fingers then hooked into the loops of your jeans and brought your closer to him as he spread his knees to accommodate you between them.

You pulled away when he opened his lips for more. You knew that it was already problematic that you had kissed him and ruined his lip makeup, if the staff looked over and saw you two making out it probably wouldn’t end well. His lips were sensitive and were already pinker than they should have been the moment you pulled away. Jungwoo leaned forward like he didn’t want to part from you and you sighed softly, using your thumb to try and even out his lipstick again.

“I messed up your makeup.” You stated, wiggling the earring in his ear.

He rolled his eyes and wrapped his arms around you. “I don’t care. I just want to kiss you.”

You laughed and shook your head. “We always kiss. Plus, Haechan looks very uncomfortable over there. Yeah, he just pretended to gag.”

Jungwoo shrugged his shoulders and placed his chin on your chest, peering up at you with wide glossy eyes. You sighed again, harder this time. He was so beautiful. So soft and cute. A stark difference to what he was moments before when the camera was rolling.

You patted his head and removed your fingers from his earlobe to run it across the skin of his jaw. “I love you.”

He blinked and you could see the tips of his ears go red as he said it back. “I love you too. I’m tired. I want to go eat noodles and then cuddle.”

You stopped adoring him for a second to say something random that crossed your mind. “You know what you remind me of?”

Jungwoo pulled away slightly and creased his eyebrows. “What?”

“A toasted marshmallow.” You said, nodding. “You look hard to others, that toasted exterior, but once you sink your teeth into it, your all soft and gooey. You’re such a fucking cutie, Jungwoo.”

Jungwoo blushed entirely through his makeup and grinned bashfully, shaking his head. He leaned back and let his back hit the chair but didn’t bother unraveling his arms from around you.

“Y/N,” He said softly. He always spoke softly, but when he was with you his voice got ten times softer. “I love you. But stop! I’m going to make my makeup melt off with all the heat you’re making me create.”

You leaned forward and kissed the tip of his nose. “You’re right. I should go and talk to the others. Your makeup artist looks like she wants to approach us but is scared of interrupting something.”

“She would be.” Jungwoo said, pulling you closer. “You said something about teeth sinking into something?”

You chuckled, raking a hand through you hair. “Maybe, but oh look! Johnny wants to talk to me.”

You slipped from his grasp and shot over to where the rest of the members were. The makeup artist was too quick for Jungwoo and sprinted before him, immediately grabbing a lip brush to fix what you had ruined.

Later that night, you sat on your couch watching a random drama playing on the TV while waiting for your boyfriend and delivery to arrive. You were very excited for both. You had ordered Jungwoo’s favorite along with a mango cake for the celebration of Jungwoo’s first World Tour, since you hadn’t had the time to celebrate it earlier.

The second the doorbell rang you were up and turning the knob without even looking out through the peephole. The delivery man was very suprised by your enthusiasm and handed you your food in a hurry when he noticed you had given him much more than what the bill was. You knew that you had given him far too much money, but you were feeling just right and didn’t mind letting him leave with the change. You left the door open for a second since your hands were full and set everything down on the table, peeping in the bags to check for everything.

You jumped when you heard the door slam behind you and turned quickly to see that Jungwoo was standing there, still dressed in his all black outfit from set. You raised your eyebrows when you noticed he was breathing heavily.

“Did you run up the stairs again?” You asked, turning back to the table and taking all the boxes of from out from the paper bags. You left the cake in it’s special bag and decided to unveil it last as a surprise.

“Y/N,” You heard Jungwoo say. “Look at me.”

You turned back to your boyfriend and were frightened yet again to see him so close the tip of your shoes touched his. You looked into his eyes and prepared yourself to say something but he grabbed your chin and pulled you closer.

“Jungwoo?” You asked, creasing your eyebrows. His lips were so close to kissing you but they weren’t. “Are you-”

That’s the moment he decided to kiss you. Just when you were about to ask him if he was okay. Your hands instinctively went to travel to his torso and wrap him so close that he was basically standing on your feet. You found yourself getting lost in his kiss, the unusual way that he gripped you hard. Your mouth opened when he pushed you harshly back into the table, causing a couple of empty bags fall to the floor.

You pulled back and look to the side to see if the cake was safe. “Jungwoo, the cake!”

Jungwoo, who had started to attack your neck with kisses when your lips left his, looked at you with furrowed eyebrows. “Cake?”

You pulled away from him completely and walked around the table to pull the cake out of the bag, which was so close to tipping over the edge. You pulled out the clear packaging, revealing the adorably decorated cake, which had cute mango characters engraved in the sides.

“Yes, cake. I got it to celebrate your first tour. I was going to surprise you, but then you came in all quiet and rough you almost made it fall off the table.” You placed it in the middle of the table and shook your head as you rubbed your lips with your free hand. “What was that, by the way?”

“I was trying to be sexy and bad ass, but you said cake and now I just want to eat it.” Jungwoo admitted, looking at it with sparkling eyes. He laughed after a second, his whole face lighting up cutely. “I love mango.”

“Was it because of what I said earlier?” You asked after a second of adoring his face. “The whole bad ass thing that lasted about two seconds?”

Jungwoo sat at the table while nodding and grabbing the boxes of food. “Yeah, but it wasn’t because I wanted to prove anything... I just wanted to come here and have very hot sex with you but then you said cake and now i see food... my priorities changed.”

You laughed, sitting in the chair opposite of him and began to unbox the food as well. “I can see that. I guess this food is the only thing I’m sinking my teeth into tonight. Since you know, your priorities have changed.”

Jungwoo stopped chewing and looked up at you with wide eyes. He spoke with food stuffed in his cheeks, “Hey hey I didn’t say that! I just want food first before... that.”

You reached across the table and pinched his puffed out cheeks, grinning widely. “I’m kidding. If that’s what you want, then that’s okay. I’m fine just being here with you, cake or not, hot sex or not.”

Jungwoo narrowed his eyes at you. “Are you sure you’re not the marshmallow here? You’re awfully soft.”

“Only for you.” You looked at your boyfriend for a second before standing from your seat and walking over to his side of the table. You pulled him up softly and grabbed his cheeks. He looked confused and slowed his chewing. “I love you.”

“I know. I love you too, babe.” He said, still looking very confused.

You made a face. “But you’ll never really know to what extent. I love you so so much.”

Jungwoo swallowed. Then he burst into tears. “Fuck, Y/N. I love you so much too.”

You hugged him close, almost laughing at how quickly the two of you could change moods. You rubbed his still perfectly styled hair. “Don’t cry, baby. Seeing you cry makes me want to cry.”

“I just love you so much and I am so glad that I found someone who loves me too. I know you love me and it just makes me so happy when you tell me.” Jungwoo sniffled into your chest.

He pulled away and you took the chance to cup your palms around his jaw and pull him in for a kiss. He kissed you back and wrapped his arms around your neck. You smiled and rested your head against his when the kiss was done.

“We’ve got to get ourselves together.” You said softly.

“We’re very unstable.” He agreed, laughing his adorable soft laugh that made your heart pound.

You kissed his lips one last time and nodded. “Let’s finish eating our food and then we can have your cake.”

“And then can we cuddle on the couch?” Jungwoo asked, not letting you go until you agreed.

You were glad that Jungwoo wasn’t a bad ass. He was your soft fluffy marshmallow. And you loved him so so much.

lmaoooo someone pls give me tips on how to write I cannot deall

Sorry this took so long to get out bb 😭

#wow wow i love jungwoo #jungwoo imagines #nct imagines #nct u imagines #nct 127 imagines #kim jungwoo imagines #fluff #suggestive ish i guess #theres never not a mention of sex in my things im so sorry #jungwoo is such a cutie #i kept thinking of that picture you know the one where he has the umbrella and he has the worlds cutest smile ever #oh pls i really hope someone is giving this boy love #also on a completely unrelated note... yuta in that last gif lmaooooooo

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tommyspeakycap · 2 years

Note

Long distance relationship with Robbo where you’re in Glasgow and he’s in Liverpool 💔 yous have an argument and he ends up driving up in the middle of the night to apologise 💗 v angsty and then v fluffy please xxx

uprooted plans

i couldn’t think of a good name for this one so the title is crap but i hope you enjoy! lots of angst, fluff will be in part two sometime soon :) x

andy tells a large white lie to protect a surprise for you, but in doing so has uprooted both of your future plans

“He’s gorgeous,” you mumble softly, letting the brand new baby boy your best friend has only recently returned home with grasp onto your finger with his tiny little hand. “Aren’t you adorable.” You coo, allowing him to be passed over to you carefully to babble baby noises in your arms settled on the couch.

She immediately takes a million pictures, giggling at the way her little boy looks up at you in wonder, gripping tight to your finger. You spend the entire day there, changing nappies, doing bottles and dangling little baby toys in front of him to make his eyes light up. Your heart feels so full with a little baby in your arms.

The buzzed feeling in your stomach exists the whole way home on the bus, excitedly waiting to phone Andy and tell him all about your day like each of you do every single evening. You met him on a random Thursday in summer when he was home visiting his family for the off-season. You were still in uni at the time, just finishing your third year when you met him in a cafe. There was a last minute assessment needing done and your flat mates were having a party for the end of the year so you couldn’t do work there. You came to the cafe and every seat was full bar the booth he sat in, and though you would usually have been far too anxious and far too quiet to even consider asking, this assessment needed done and it needed done now.

He looked up quickly when you nervously cleared your throat and mumbled a hello. He was pouring over some papers that you now know with hindsight was a draft his book. When you anxiously fumbled out the ask you sit in the other side of the booth, he immediately nodded, shifting some of those papers so you had some room on the table and you worked in silence for a bit. Minutes turned into hours and before you knew it, you got to talking. You told him about your degree and he spoke briefly about what he did for a living. The rest is history, you traded numbers and fell in love while he was home,

The only issue was that your job and studying kept you in Glasgow and his kept him in Liverpool. It wasn’t necessarily an issue, one of you always willing to travel and make the phone calls and do facetimes to talk about each other’s days. Summers were spent lazily lounging by pools that felt miles long and glistened under glorious blue skies and burning sun. Well, you lounged yoder the sun while Andy hid beneath the sun umbrella attached to the lounger. He always came home in the winters for Christmas with his family and now he spent it there with yours too, but going on two and a half years of your relationship, you wanted to be with him more.

He just hadn’t asked you to move down. Of course he had before, usually in the rush of the moment or some passion filled haze but he hasn’t asked in months and you feel as though bringing it up would be far too pushy.

Your phone buzzes in your hand, excitedly enticing you to look at it hoping it was Andy, but instead seeing that your friend had tagged you in an instagram post.

The picture was of you and her son, you smiling down at the baby boy as he coos up at you.

“Little mans first time meeting his Auntie (y/n)! @/andyrobertson, she’s a natural!”

A giggle parts your lips as you double tap the picture, dropping a red heart and a winky face in the comments as you laugh at her tagging Andy just before your bus pulls up to your stop.

It’s pretty much the moment you step off that instagram disappears from your screen to replace it instead with the picture of Andy you have saved for his contact along with his name across the top of your screen.

“Hi!” You cheer down the phone, beaming as you turn the corner towards your flat despite the cold rain threatening to fall above you. He seems uncharacteristically quiet on the other end before you hear a door closing firmly. “What was that about?” He snaps sharply, immediately catching you off guard. At first, you humour the idea he may be joking until you hear no laughter in the other side of the phone. “What was what?” You query confusedly, “I just said hello?”

Andy sighs, his irritation clear despite being many miles away from you. “Not that, i mean that post. Why would she say that?” He grumbles, prompting you to furrow your eyebrows while you stick the key into the lock of your front door, your phone tucked between your ear and shoulder as you shove it open and emerge into your apartment. “What?” You ask, almost a little exasperated. “The caption? It was just-.” You try to force a soft laugh that seems to do nothing to soothe his anger for whatever reason, he just cuts you off.

“Are you pregnant or something?” He pushes harshly. making you recoil in a flinch of some kind despite the fact he can’t see you. “What? No of course not Andy. It was a joke.” You refute. Your hands have begun to shake, a lump forming in your throat.

“Thank god.” You hear him murmur to himself.

Your heart sinks. “What do you mean ‘thank god’ Andy, what if i was?” You press carefully, voice quivering as your heart thunders. Kids was a conversation you’d had before, usually in the wee hours of the morning curled up against his chest; talking on and on about kids names, about drawing straws when it came time because he thinks Andrew would be a good name for a boy but you already had a few preferences in mind. You had thought you were on the same page.

“Well you’re not, so it doesn’t matter does it?” He shrugs, casually scuffing his feet on the ground beneath him. You cant understand why he’s so frosty right now, why this words are all snapped with such ferocity. “It definitely does matter.” You refute, “I thought we were in this for the long run?” Your voice sounds almost as argumentative as his, just far more hurt and much more worried. “Yeah,” he shrugs again, “But we barely even see each other right mow. It’s not really time to be talking about commitment like marriage and babies eh?” Andy counters easily, coldly almost.

Your jaw drops open. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Andrew?” You snap, mind fizzing a mile a minute.

Not a time to be talking about commitment?

He’s got someone else, hasn’t he?

“Look we’re not having this conversation right now okay?” Andy grumbles, “I’m busy.”

“You called me!” You yelp, tears bedding in your eyes.

“Yeah,” Andy sighs irritatedly, “But only because your friend put up a completely inappropriate post (y/n)! If you want a sparkling ring and a big house full of babies then you’re looking in the wrong place. I’ve got much bigger, far more important stuff going on right now okay?” He nips harshly. You try to swallow the lump in your throat, allowing those tears to slip down over your cheeks.

“Bye Andrew.” You choke, thumb slamming down on the end call button before he can get the chance to say anything else. Your phone is chucked down on the couch, hand cupping over your mouth as as sob breaks out of your mouth.

He definitely has someone else.

“Hello?” Andy calls loudly into the phone, “(y/n)? You there?”

“You are the biggest, stupidest idiot i’ve ever met Robertson.”

Andy turns around quickly, sparing a look down at his phone to see you had in face hung up before stuffing it in his pocket and turning his gaze to face a scowling James Milner and a glaring Trent, arms folded over his chest with his eyebrows set in a firm frown. You’ve met the team many, many times. Each and every single individual loves you but maybe no one more than Trent. He always jokes about how you’re like his work mum and dad. He’s been banging on to Andy about tying you down for months, barraging him to get a ring, get you here, get married and make a home with you.

“What?” He asks, eyebrows furrowed and mouth slightly agape. “What did i do?”

James lunges forward, smacking Andy upside the head forcefully. Andy yelps out, hand immediately raising to rub the sore part of his head. “You just about ruined everything you’ve got with her!” Trent snaps, his glare firm. “What the fuck are you thinking? You do want to marry her, you do want babies with her!” He explains angrily, arms waving around emphatically. Andy nods in obvious agreement, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Of course I do, you know that.”

“Then why did you lie!”

Andy doesn’t answer verbally, instead stuffing his hand into his kit bag and produced a little black velvet box that is easily flicked open with one swell movement of his strong thumb. Inside it glistens the most beautiful yet simple gleaming diamond either have ever seen. Trent makes a distant reminder to seek out Andy to get his jewellers number when the time came for him to start thinking about buying engagement rings. It’s clearly handcrafted, touched up to perfection until it was the absolute spot on image of what Andy wanted it to be for you.

“It’s a secret for Christmas. I bought us a house too, it’s beautiful. Big garden, perfect because she wants kids.” Andy shrugs with a subconscious smile at the thought of it, his tone slightly hushed as though you may hear him from Glasgow. “Mate,” James cuts in, “Do you realise what you just did? You pulled a Chandler Bing.” He states emphatically, making Andy’s jaw drop. He’s seen friends, of course he has. He knows exactly what his club vice captain means when he says those words.

“Wait you don’t think-” Andy is cut off by the look James shoots him. “I do think. Mate you need to go. Now.”

“Oh fuck.” Andy curses, scraping his bag off the floor, snapping the ring box shut and making a break for the door. “And go fast, Andy!” Trent yells after him, “You do not want to let this one go.” He says firmly. Andy nods, his eyes solemn as the thinks of how stupid he’s been. He just wanted this to be a surprise for christmas, make it the happiest one you’ve ever had and he panicked when you brought this idea up to him. He didn’t want to ruin the surprise and now it’s very possible he’s ruined your entire relationship. Of course he wants kids and a big house and a family with you, in fact that’s actually all he’s ever wanted.

“I know, I can’t live without her.”

James gives Andy a pat on the shoulder and a sorry smile, hoping with everything crossed the Scottish man can win back the love of his life.

It’s just like he always says. Made in Glasgow, found in Liverpool, but only ever really at home with you.

#andy robertson #andy robertson x reader #andy robertson imagine #andy robertson imagines #footie fics #football fics #footballer fics #football imagines #footballer imagines #liverpool imagine

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miraculouscontent · 3 years

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Hi, Adrien is handed things on a silver platter whereas Marinette has to work for them.

First thing’s first is just the concept of the love square. Chat Noir gets to interact with Ladybug no matter what because they’re heroes. Ladybug - who carries the weight and responsibility of heroism without getting benefited from it - is required to go to every battle due to her purification ability, and Chat Noir of course is going to show up because he loves both flirting with Ladybug and the freedom of being a superhero.

In addition, Adrien got his miraculous by helping Master Fu up (something that would be expected out of any semi-decent person; by the way, yes, I know the “””significance””” of the action, and it’s silly), whereas Marinette saved him from being hit by a car.

Adrien was allowed back in school with still no explanation from Gabriel (especially since he’s Hawk Moth) as to why he thought it was a good idea to send his son to a school where the very first akumatization had happened. It was Adrien’s goal for the episode alongside making friends, and Nino offered him friendship out of pity when Adrien sulked about how Chloe was the closest thing to a friend he had.

Chat crushes on Ladybug because she stood up to Hawk Moth in a speech dripping with confidence, caught what seemed like hundreds of akuma, and came up with a plan quick enough to save Mylene and Ivan from falling to their deaths from the top of the Eiffel Tower. Marinette (who Chat fell in love with one side of first, mind you, so already this is to his benefit), meanwhile, crushes on Adrien because the narrative gave her a falsehood about him never having any friends (i.e: no Chloe) and he gave her an umbrella while he was ten meters away from his actual ride (like with Fu, again, any decent person--).

Chat’s crush on Ladybug makes things harder for her because it causes him to throw tantrums mid-battle, get distracted and distract her because he’s busy flirting, all of which make her feel guilty for not returning his feelings. Marinette’s crush on Adrien makes things hard for her again because it causes her to embarrass herself while virtually everyone who knows teases/mocks her for it, their opinions of her even being dragged down due to the crush (see Alya with the Lila situation).

Chat is shipped with Ladybug by Parisians everywhere and Alya delighted in taking a picture of them kissing (that got posted on the Ladyblog without Ladybug’s consent). Likewise, the other LadyNoir kiss (that Ladybug had to do to free Chat from Dark Cupid’s control) was shown on live TV for all watching to see. Marinette’s kisses with Adrien, however, were either wiped from the timeline (in which Adrien got to keep a secret from her so he could date “””Ladybug”””) or used to humiliate her because Adrien was attempting a prank.

Ladybug realizes that Chat is in serious about her, not because he told her himself, but because he relayed it to Marinette who happened to be Ladybug. Marinette, on the other hand, has spent 3+ seasons attempting to confess her feelings to Adrien or make advances on him, all of which ended in some form of failure and some of which through no fault of her own.

Chloe shoved her in “Bubbler” (Adrien didn’t even check on her) and then Nathalie crushed the note she’d written on a scarf that Marinette put tons of time and effort into, leading to Adrien thinking it was from his dad.

“Copycat” was accidental and came on too strong, requiring its deletion.

She got distracted by Alya and forgot to write her name in “Dark Cupid,” her letter only further solidifying Chat’s crush on Ladybug.

She kept getting interrupted in “Gamer” after Alya chided her for using the event to get with Adrien (despite Alya doing the same thing for Marinette during the film in “Horrificator” while Mylene was MIA).

She wasn’t able to tell Adrien about Lila’s thievery in “Volpina” because the grimoire had to remain a secret.

The hat in “A Christmas Special” got given away within minutes and then not even brought back on-screen by Miraculous Ladybug (Adrien never even thanked Marinette personally for it).

Kagami came out of nowhere to take the fencing spot in “Riposte.”

Deciding not to make schemes only led to her embarrassment in “Gigantitan.”

She got made fun of and the notes all conveniently looked the same in “Backwarder,” leading to her mixing them up.

The macaron for Adrien (that Marinette would prepare every week) never got eaten by him and ended up causing the akuma after Chloe had emotionally manipulated Marinette into scheming with her.

Practicing on a statue (as per Tikki’s advice) in “The Puppeteer 2″ humiliated her when Adrien revealed himself as the statue.

She was embarrassed during the party in “Party Crasher” because she was pressured into dancing without her consent.

The timeline had to be reset in “Chat Blanc” and she had to lie to her friends that she hadn’t given Adrien the gift even though she’d actually succeeded, while the hat she made just for Adrien got written off as a gift from a random fan (which is an even worse fate than the scarf).

The confession in “Felix” was deleted by Felix himself before Adrien could see it.

And Adrien, meanwhile? Ohhhh boy, lemme tell you about Adrien.

He gets put into suggestive/close positions with Ladybug on many, many occasions, all for “free.”

He got a kiss from Ladybug in “Dark Cupid” that, remember, got photographed and put on live TV.

He got to goad the audience without consequence about he and Ladybug potentially being in a relationship eventually - gaining the knowledge that all of Paris was invested in LadyNoir to thoroughly stroke his ego - and then Ladybug had to act like they were a couple in “Prime Queen” to the point of holding Chat’s hand and saying that they were in love.

Likewise, “Glaciator” featured Ladybug having to act like a couple with him again, now to the point of kissing his cheek, and then Chat got a blush from her after he’d spent a good chunk of the akuma battle pouting that Ladybug didn’t come to the date he set up (that she hadn’t even known was a date because he purposefully withheld that information) despite her telling him that she’d have to see about it because she had plans.

He was reassured in “Anansi” on being “irreplaceable” after he made an unnecessary comment about being replaced by a turtle (Carapace).

He got to carry Ladybug around bridal style and also save her in “Sandboy” and “Reverser” respectively because she was rendered essentially useless without him, then got to save her again in “Frozer” after giving her the cold shoulder for rejecting his feelings.

He’s the one who got told by Marinette’s own parent not to apologize for how he feels in “Weredad” (note that Marinette herself never got this talk from Sabine, nor Tom, which very much could’ve prevented “Crocoduel”).

He got a cheek kiss from Ladybug in “Desperada” after getting to undo the very-much-against-the-rules identity reveal he made to her via Second Chance.

He got to look good in “Gamer 2.0″ when Ladybug was seeking advice from him despite the fact that her and Chat’s situations hero-wise are absolutely, completely, 100% different and he didn’t even try to take that into account.

He got Ladybug resting her head on his shoulder because of what she saw in a deleted time in which he - unbeknownst to her - lied by omission.

A fake Ladybug tried to kiss him on two separate occasions, “The Puppeteer 2″ and “Ladybug,” much to his delight (something to note is that the fake Adrien who went after Ladybug in both “Chameleon” and “Felix” tried to force themselves on her).

He got the “jealousy” moment from Ladybug in “Heart Hunter” and then a hug from Aquabug in “Miracle Queen.”

He received no repercussions for taking Ladybug out on a date (that she wasn’t aware was going to be a date) in “Gang of Secrets,” at best having to apologize for her behavior to the people around them.

He got reassured that Ladybug “couldn’t do this without him” in “Guiltrip,” even to the point of being told that she “probably doesn’t tell him enough.”

He got told by Ladybug that she would never abandon him in “Hack-San” because he was guilting her sulking about how his not knowing her identity would mean that he’d never see her again if she left him somehow.

And before you think this only extends to the romantic aspects of love square, let me tell you now that it definitely doesn’t.

Marinette entered the bowler hat competition and had to defend her own work to the judge.

She ran for class representative and had to earn the trust and faith of her class in “Darkblade” when put up against Chloe’s bribery.

She did whatever she could to make sure Juleka got her picture taken in “Reflekta.”

She had to actually craft a pair of glasses suitable for Jagged Stone in “Pixelator” and then make a gorgeous album cover for him in “Guitar Villain.” (note that this partially led to “Troublemaker” where she was just happily wanting to advertise her parents’ business, and the writers multiplied her Adrien pictures for the sake humiliating her when it was caught on live TV)

She had to work to get ungrounded by improving her attendance in “Simon Says,” because she had been busy being a hero.

She worked to try and get Nathaniel and Marc to get together on a project, knowing it would be good for both of them.

She set up an entire celebration for her bully to try and make said bully feel good about herself in “Malediktator.”

She did Kitty Section’s designs and costumes in “Silencer” and then had to go protect them from being stolen, along with her friends’ music.

She had to wear multiple miraculouses in “Kwamibuster” in order to go against Kwamibuster and get back both the ladybug earrings and the cat ring.

“Gamer 2.0.” Just... “Gamer 2.0.″

She made a whole complex lockbox to protect the Miracle Box in “Gang of Secrets.”

She worked to reach out to Zoe in “Sole Crusher” even after Zoe trashed her in front of the school, going as far as to try and comfort Zoe’s akumatized form.

She had to stand up for the movie to be fixed in “Queen Banana” because no one else would.

She has to work each and every akuma battle as Ladybug, figuring out Lucky Charms that can range from simple to complicated, while simultaneously dealing with a partner who relies heavily on her plans and will occasionally make things harder by either throwing tantrums mid-battle or distracting her.

And meanwhile...

Chat Noir got to throw the blame onto Ladybug for Theo’s akumatization in “Copycat.”

Marinette covered for him in “The Collector” when he was the one who recklessly lost the grimoire by not being careful with it.

He got handed Fu’s identity in “Syren” after whining to Ladybug, throwing blame on her and trying to bribe Plagg so they’d tell him, threatening to quit while Paris was underwater, and all of this while Marinette herself only got to meet Fu because she had the grimoire on her.

He was given the moral high ground in “Malediktator” despite not having to actually care about Chloe enough to call/check on her.

He got to sit back in “Chameleon” and not concern himself with judgment or comment on the situation with Lila, even going into “Ladybug” where he continues to inform no one about Lila (including Marinette, who briefly believed that Lila came to her senses and was willing to make amends) after Lila got Marinette expelled, despite the complete lack of risk on his part considering who his father is and how harshly Lila would be dragged through the mud if she dared to trash his reputation.

He clumsily trips in “Captain Hardrock” in a fashion that reveals an instrument he happens to play, leading to him getting invited to join Kitty Section within seconds of being on the Liberty. (so when Adrien is clumsy, it’s to his benefit, and when Marinette is clumsy, it’s to her detriment)

He never got called out for distracting Ladybug and digging for details that could relate to her identity in “Kwamibuster” (which, again, forced Marinette to do all the work to fix things).

He got a party thrown for him in “Party Crasher” by Nino, and also guys that Adrien had never put forth effort into interacting with or befriending (Marinette had also been through more with all of them sans Nino).

He got to force Ladybug’s favorite traits of his out of her in “Truth” because she was under the influence of Truth’s powers.

He got off the hook for sacrificing himself in “Lies” by flirting about Ladybug’s “irresistible angry little pout,” and also never got repercussions for flirting with another girl while dating Kagami.

He never had to face consequences for smashing a chimney in “Sentibubbler,” even as he was dismissing the gesture because he knew Miraculous Ladybug would fix it.

He didn’t have to apologize for his behavior in “Hack-San,” whereas Ladybug "had to” for telling someone else her identity (the details of why - i.e: that she was having a mental breakdown and needed a release from it - being completely left out) and not telling him that she was leaving (when she literally hadn’t had time to tell him anything; do note as well that Adrien didn’t have to do the same in either “Backwarder” or “Startrain”).

He received no consequences and was in fact rewarded for allowing the akuma in “Wishmaker” to hit him, a choice that Viperion has to live with because it caused him to see both Ladybug and Chat’s identities (meaning now Luka - someone who, like the guys in “Party Crasher” - Adrien has done virtually nothing for - can support Adrien since he knows).

And I could go on, I really could, but my point is that Adrien is given all of the sympathy and sad points while Marinette basically never is. Just like how he was born swimming in money, fame, and adoring fans, the show hands out praises and all the things he’s ever wanted because he’s sad.

He doesn’t have to try. He can whine and complain and vent to Plagg about how “replaceable” he is because the show will mollycoddle him to the moon and back. They’ll put his crush on Ladybug’s shoulders to make her feel guilty while Marinette is over here having to bust her butt just for a chance at Adrien recognizing any semblance of her feelings, and he goes on being blissfully ignorant of them so he doesn’t have to suffer like Ladybug does.

In addition, Marinette has to either be “““making mistakes”““ or embarrassing herself in order to get screen time because the burden of lessons fails upon her, whereas Adrien can be name-dropped without even doing anything.

It’s not just the love square that’s unbalanced, it’s everything between these two. Ladybug is scolded and punished for the slightest act of selfishness while Adrien is encouraged and rewarded for being selfish and demanding things. Marinette has to work to be noticed (and sometimes won’t even get that much) while all Adrien has to do is put on his best sad face and the show will bend over backwards to either give him exactly what he wants or make him the sympathetic one through the narrative.

Even if Adrien had known about Marinette’s crush at the time that Ladybug knew about Chat’s, it wouldn’t matter, because the tipped scales in how they’re treated would still make it so Marinette is the one at fault for “dumping her feelings onto Adrien” while Ladybug is still forced to interact with Chat even if his advances make her uncomfortable.

#((It's a good day to choose violence.))#category: salt #salt: adrien agreste #salt: chat noir #salt: love square #((I probably should've done this in video format.))

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hawks-supremacy · 3 years

Text

The Worst Soulmate

summary: in a world full of soulmates why did you get stuck with the worst one?

pairing: terushima yuji x reader

warnings: hella angst, sorry

genre: fluff to angst

word count: 2.1k

a/n: I apologize in advance

Terushima Yuji was the worst soulmate. In a world where everyone has a soulmate, you somehow got stuck with the worst one possible. Growing up everyone talked about how wonderful it was to have a soulmate, the person who loves you unconditionally, your other half, your perfect match. Now that you’ve found yours, you couldn’t disagree more. Terushima Yuji, by no means, was a terrible person. He was smart, kind, and fun to be around. Everyone enjoyed his presence and how he lit up a room. Maybe that’s why you thought he was the worst.

You met Terushima in your first year at Johzenji High when your cousin, Misaki Hana, convinced you to sign up for the volleyball team. You were on your way to the gym when you, quite literally, ran into Terushima. No one ever told you what happens when you meet your soulmate or how you know when you’ve found them. So you weren’t sure what to expect, but you certainly weren’t prepared for flashes of previous lifetimes spent together to appear.

What was only a few seconds, seemed like hours for you two. Watching as you two met for the first time ever. Watching past lives dance in the kitchen to music that wasn’t there. Watching as you shared an umbrella to shelter you both from the rain as you walked through the park. Watching as you both grew old together promising to meet each other in the next life, and you always kept your promise to each other. Always finding each other in the next life no matter the distance.

As you came back from watching the glimpses of your past life, you saw Terushima reaching out to you. “Found you.” Was all he said before pulling you into a hug, “This time round took a lot less time and effort than some of our past lives it seems.” He said laughing, releasing you from the hug. You continued to talk as you both walked into the gym, eventually going your separate ways. “Who’s that?” Hana said as you walked up to her to talk about the manager position. “My soulmate apparently. Isn’t that funny? I ran into him at school, thought it was going to be way harder than that.” You responded before asking what you’d be doing as a manager.

Hana just gaped at you before smacking your arm, “How can you be so casual about this?!” She exclaimed. “Ow, I don’t know! I just think it hasn’t settled in yet that I actually met him, you know?” You responded while rubbing your arm, she didn’t hit you that hard but it still stung a bit. “Well what was it like? What happened? How’d you know?” Hana asked rapid firing questions at you like her life depended on it. You laughed and told her to calm down before going into detail about what happened when you bumped into each other.

You didn’t really learn much about the whole manager position on your first day, instead spending it talking to Hana about you and Terushima. You didn’t mind spending the whole practice sitting on the bench talking to Hana, occasionally sharing smiles with Terushima from across the gym.

Your first year at Johzenji high consisted of lunches and late night talks with Terushima. Dates of walking through a park or watching the stars because neither of you could afford anything more. Talking about your dreams and ambitions for life, how you weren’t sure what you wanted to do but something with kids always sounded fun, how Terushima wanted to be a hairdresser. Cheering him on from the bench as he played volleyball the only way he knows how, by having fun. Your first year wasn’t how you pictured it going, but you wouldn’t change it.

Your second and third year didn’t change much from the first, except your dates no longer consisted of parks or star gazing. Instead switching to ramen dates and movies since you and Terushima both got part time jobs. You still cheered him on from the bench but now you had to help keep everyone in check as he still played with his heart and got carried away from time to time. You still talked about your dream and ambitions but now they included each other. Talking about what kind of house you’ll own one day, if you want kids or how many you’ll have, if you’ll move out of Miyagi or if you’ll stay. You had your whole life ahead of you guys and all you knew was you wanted to be by each other through it all, and you were.

You had both applied and gotten into different universities, but had found an apartment in between the two so you could still be with each other. “I know it’s not quite our dream house that we had talked about, sorry.” Terushima apologized as you sat on the couch the first night you moved in. “It may not be our dream house, but it’s still perfect Yuji. You’re here and that’s all that matters.” You replied before digging into your take out and pressing play on the paused movie. You didn’t see it then, but Terushima had smiled at your response and looked at you as if you were the only source of light in his life, and he could argue everyday that you were.

It was graduation day for Terushima and you couldn’t be more proud as you cheered him on from the stands. You cheered with his family as they called his name for graduation. You couldn’t help but smile as you watched how happy he was to have graduated. You were at dinner that night to celebrate when Terushima knelt down on one knee in front of all of his family members, “L/n Y/n, I know we’re only 20 and we’re young and dumb still but these past five years have been the best years of my life. I couldn’t imagine spending them any other way, we always say we’ll find each other in the next life and we succeed every time. Will you please make this night even better and say yes to marrying me?” By the time Terushima had finished speaking you were already crying while nodding. Everyone cheered as he pulled you into a tight hug saying, “I can’t wait to spend the rest of our lives together.” You smiled as he pulled you in for a quick kiss. You couldn’t imagine a better end to the night.

Two years later you found yourself in the opposite position, you were standing, waiting for them to announce your name at graduation while Terushima waited in the crowd with your family. Terushima was the loudest one at the graduation ceremony when they finally called your name up. Later that night you were swaying in the kitchen to soft music after saying goodbye to your family. “We can finally get married now.” Terushima said with the biggest smile on his face. When you had gotten engaged you agreed to wait until you were both out of college so there would be less stress. “We can get married now.” You responded with an equally big smile as he picked you up and spun you around. “Let’s do it right now.” He said setting you down.

“Yuji you know we can’t do that, both of our families would be upset if they couldn’t attend.” You reasoned with him. He sighed, smile never fading, “I know, I’m just excited for you to finally be Terushima Y/n.” You laughed at his statement as you continued to gently sway to the music.

It was nearly a year later and you were staring into a mirror as someone did your hair. “Are you excited?” The lady you knew as Terushima’s coworker asked. You nodded as you said you were nervous. “Sweetheart believe me you have nothing to be nervous about, I hear the way he talks about you to his clients at work.” She reassured you with the biggest smile. “Oh thank you, that’s not what I’m nervous about though. I’m very clumsy and I’m scared I’m going to fall.” You explained and you both laughed at the statement.

She finished doing your hair and you were shortly ushered away to get changed, shouting a thank you over your shoulder as you were all but pushed out of the room. Everything seemed to go by in a blur and before you knew it, you were standing waiting for your turn to walk down the aisle. You listened as you heard your cue to walk down the aisle start, as you walked towards Yuji and the bridesmaids and groomsmen you saw Yuji wipe away a few tears. You cried as you both said your vows, wiping tears away from both of your faces.

You danced at your reception like you do in the middle of your kitchen at 3 am when neither of you can sleep. You laughed as Hana told stories from when you were kids during her speech. You laughed when Yuji got too excited as he tried to pick you up and you both ended up on the floor instead. It was the perfect night for you two and you couldn’t imagine changing anything, even if you did leave with a few bruises.

Now you were 26 and working as a teacher in the Miyagi prefecture. You were on lunch talking with your coworker, Sugawara Koushi, when you were getting a call. You briefly stopped the conversation telling Suga one second before answering the phone. “Hi, is this Terushima Y/n?” The voice on the other end of the line asked. “Yes it is, who is this?” you responded with furrowed eyebrows, you don’t remember giving anyone your number. “This is Nakamura Akio, I’m calling about your husband.” You felt your blood run cold at the statement you never thought you’d have to hear. “Is he okay? He’s not in trouble is he?” You asked shakily.

“I’m afraid there’s been an accident-” As the person on the other line continued talking you felt like you couldn’t breathe. You couldn’t hear anything as you hung up the phone after saying you’ll be there soon. You were shaking as you tried to gather your things, tears blurring your vision, muffled voices drowned out by the heartbeat you could hear pounding in your ears. You briefly remember hearing Suga saying you can’t drive in the state you were in as he began to gather your things for you. You stopped in the office before leaving and Suga explained the situation. You remember the look of pity from everyone in the office before Suga ushered you to your car.

Everything was a blur as you arrived at the hospital, Suga asking for the room number then ushering you over to some seats as the lady at the front desk said he was still in surgery. You whispered surgery to yourself as more tears blurred your vision. Suga comforted you until a doctor came over to talk to you a few hours later. “We did everything we could” was all you heard before you started crying into Suga’s shoulder.

They led you to the room Yuji was in explaining the situation and how he probably wouldn’t make it to the next morning. You numbly nodded as you sat next to his bed and loosely held his hand. As the doctors left you and Suga in the room you couldn’t do anything else but stare blankly at the hand you held, but would never hold yours again. It was a few hours later when the machines in the room started beeping. A few hours later when a few nurses ushered you out of the room. A few hours later when you heard the doctors announce the time of death from outside of the room.

Maybe that’s why you think you got the worst soulmate ever. You got the soulmate who was nothing but kind, and then he left you all by yourself, left you to go to an empty home that was no longer home. Left you to try to pick up and fix the broken pieces yourself. You felt empty as Suga led you to a chair to try and calm you down. You hadn’t realized you’d been sobbing and nearly screaming. You finally calmed down a bit when a nurse gently approached you, “Excuse me, were you his wife?” She said gesturing to the room he was in, you nodded, not having the strength to talk. “When he arrived at the hospital, he was still awake and he told me to tell you that he’d find you in the next life no matter the distance.” You choked down a sob as you weakly thanked her.

#haikyuu imagine #haikyuu drabbles #haikyuu au #hq x reader #terushima x reader #terushima imagine #terushima angst #hq terushima #hq fluff #hq x you #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu angst #haikyu x reader

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the-bau-quinjet · 3 years

Text

Plum Cobbler

Steve x Barnes!reader, Bucky x platonic!reader

Summary: What happens when Steve confronts the woman who's been sitting outside the compound every Saturday for a month?

Warnings: mentions parental death, some cursing

Word Count: 6315

a/n: This really took on a mind of its own. I was going to make it a series, but I feel like this is the whole story.

Masterlist

Nervous didn't even begin to describe how you were feeling. Sitting in your car, just outside of the entrance gate to the Avenger's compound was never somewhere you thought you'd be. Not until two months ago, when you found your grandmas old scrapbooks.

Of course, you don't know how to get inside. Honestly, you should have seen this coming. Why would just anyone be able to walk up to their door?

"Who are you?" The sudden question startled you, causing you to jump and hit your head on the roof of your car. You turned to look at the source of the voice, shrinking under her watchful gaze.

The one and only Natasha Romanoff was standing outside your car, glaring at you as if she was ready to drop everything to take you out.

"Oh, um. My name is Y/N L/N. I just wanted to talk to Bucky..." Her glare only grew stronger as you revealed why you were there.

"Barnes doesn't talk to strangers." Before you could explain why, she was gone. You watched her walk into the compound until she wasn't in your view anymore.

"Well, that went horribly." You mumbled to yourself. Now what? Should you just sit there until someone else comes out? Will anyone come out?

"So who is she?" Clint asked as soon as Nat got back inside.

"Why is she here?" Sam added on.

"Said her name is Y/N L/N, and she wants to talk to Bucky." Nat rolled her eyes.

"Friday, run a background check on F/N L/N." Tony asked of the AI. "What? You can never be too careful, and people shouldn't know how to get here." He explained given the questioning looks from the rest of the group.

"Y/N L/N, 27, daughter of the deceased Kathleen and Grant L/N. She owns a bookstore in Brooklyn, passed down through her family. No criminal record." Friday responded quickly.

"Sounds normal enough, probably a fan?" Tony suggested, looking around the room.

"A persistent one. She's been here for hours." Steve looked out the window, still seeing your car just outside the gate. "How did she find the entrance?"

Everyone shared similar looks, unsure how a seemingly normal civilian found the gate.

"Excellent question, Capsicle. Friday, got any ideas?" Tony, as usual, turned to the AI for answers.

"Based on GPS data from her car, she drove around upstate New York for eight hours every Saturday for the last 6 weeks until she came across the side road leading to the compound."

"Either she's really good at looking normal, or she's just normal." Nat added on, still slightly suspicious.

"Well, she just left. I guess we're not getting any answers today." Steve said from his position still looking out the window.

You came back every Saturday for a month. You didn't know if anything would come of it, but you'd be damned if you didn't try. After your parent's deaths, you thought you had no family left. Finding out you were related to Bucky gave you a lifeline. Something to cling to when you felt alone.

So far, nobody else had come to talk to you. You didn't even know if Bucky knew you were there for him.

The fifth Saturday, you pulled your car up to the gate at 9 am, sticking to your makeshift schedule of waiting outside for the entire day. They had to at least be curious as to why you kept coming back.

Unfortunately for you, the weather upstate today was not the same as the weather in Brooklyn.

Around 10:30, it started to rain. Just a sprinkling, nothing you couldn't handle.

You listened to music, read, ate the lunch you packed, played games on your phone, anything to pass the time. You weren't going to force your way inside, but you were definitely going to show that you were interested.

Typically, you would leave at 5:30. It gave you enough time to drive home and heat up dinner, plus you had to check in on your cat.

Today, however, was a different story. Around 5:15, it started pouring. Sheets of water were coming down around you, completely cutting off any visibility through the windshield.

You figured you'd just wait out the rain, but when it didn't let up by 6, you were getting nervous.

"She's still here." Steve walked into the kitchen, announcing his news to the room.

"I'm not surprised. It's not exactly peak driving conditions out there." Sam easily responded, glancing out the window.

"Aren't you the least bit curious as to why?" Steve asked again, pushing the same conversation as always.

Nearly everyone in the room rolled their eyes, sick of repeating the same things.

"Look, we figured if we ignored her, she'd eventually stop. Clearly, that might not be working. If you're so curious, feel free to go ask her." Tony gave in, eager to move on from the discussion of you.

Steve contemplated his choices for all of 2 seconds before grabbing an umbrella and walking down the driveway.

You had your head leaned back against the headrest, eyes closed, listening to the rain. Of course you would get stuck here. Why didn't you ever check the weather?

You shrieked when a knock sounded on your passenger side window, not having expected anyone, especially in the rain.

Mr. America himself pointed to the door, gesturing for you to unlock it. You sat up quickly, rushing to hit the unlock button.

He quickly opened the door, shutting his umbrella and lowering himself into the small car.

You were utterly speechless. After your brief encounter with Natasha, you didn't really expect anyone to come talk to you.

Sure, you came back every week, but it was more so to fill the lonely hours you would have normally spent with your parents at the bookstore.

You had other employees to run the shop on Saturdays, allowing you to come here instead.

"Why are you here?" He sounded more curious than anything. Clearly he didn't perceive you as a threat, which was good because you had zero fighting experience.

"To talk to Bucky." Your voice was quiet, unsure how much you should share.

"I know that. Why?" He had fully turned in his seat to look at you, his large frame filling nearly the entire car.

"Well, I found something a few months ago that I thought he should know." You stuttered through your response, mildly intimidated by the man in front of you.

"And that something is?" He questioned further, genuinely curious as to what you want to tell his best friend.

You hesitated, eyes flitting around the car, looking at anything but him. He sighed and ran his hand through his hair before speaking again.

"Look, if you ever want to actually talk to him, you should tell me. Buck's been through hell, he won't just talk to anyone. Especially if he has no reason to."

During your conversation, the rain finally let up. You decided to take that as a sign.

"Can I show you something?" You finally looked him in the eye, nearly forgetting why you were even here at the sight of his bright blue eyes.

"Is it the reason you've been out here every Saturday for over a month?" He joked with you, helping to calm your nerves.

You nodded in response, unsure if you could even speak while still looking into his eyes.

"Then please."

You tore your eyes from his face, throwing the car into reverse and backing out of the spot you've claimed as your own. You turned around, heading back to your apartment in Brooklyn.

"Wha- where are we going?" He's clearly surprised by your actions, but he doesn't seem worried.

"I'm going to show you what I found, and hopefully you'll let me talk to Bucky." You paused for a minute, thinking. "Although, really I guess it should be his choice. Maybe you can just give him a message for me, and if he doesn't want to talk I'll leave you all alone."

The idea of never getting to know Bucky, you're only remaining family, hurts, but it's got to be his decision.

Steve just nods in response, still slightly wary of your reasons for wanting to talk to Bucky.

When you're a few minutes away from your apartment, you decide to give him some context.

"You probably already know a lot about me, but let me explain a few things." He silently nods, encouraging you to continue.

"My parents died three and a half months ago." You immediately felt like crying, but did your best to hold it in. Of course, Steve didn't miss the break in your voice. "It was a car accident. The weather was bad. They lost control of the car. They were both pronounced dead on the scene." You parked the car, turning slightly to look at him.

"They were the only family I've ever had, and the were both just gone." You turned and opened the car door, taking a moment to wipe the tears from your eyes. You gestured for him to follow you, locking the car and heading inside your apartment building.

"We were really close. I spent every Saturday at the bookstore with them." You wiped the tears again as the elevator doors closed.

You didn't chance looking at Steve, knowing you would break down at the look of pity.

"I had to go through the stuff at their house. You know, decide what to bring here, what to put in storage, what to get rid of. I found some old scrapbooks, I think from my great grandma."

You lead him into your apartment, locking the door and immediately heading to the kitchen to feed your cat. After you set down the food, you moved to the couch. You had the scrapbooks on the coffee table, having taken every opportunity to look through them.

"I never knew her. My parents didn't talk about her either, I'm not sure if they knew who she was. Her name was Rebecca." You waited a beat, to see if he would understand. When he remained quiet, you handed him one of the books, open to a page with a picture of Steve, Bucky, and Rebecca. "Rebecca Barnes."

You waited again, letting the information sink in for him. After a few minutes he smiled.

"I remember this day." He looked at you, a wide smile on his face. "It was a few days before Bucky was enrolled. We had a picnic." He continued to reminisce, looking through the other pictures in the scrapbook.

"Maybe it's selfish, maybe he won't want to know me, but when I found out I had more family, I wanted to find him." Again, tears pooled in your eyes. "I, I just don't want to be alone."

Steve's smile faltered as he realized what you've been going through, and how you've been doing it alone.

"Hey, I'm sure he'll want to talk to you." He reached out to place a hand on your arm, trying to comfort you.

"Really?" Your eyes were still watery, but a small smile grew on your face.

"I think so. Bucky was really close with his sister when we were young." This time, Steve's eyes grew watery, memories of his youth playing through his mind.

You couldn't take the sight of him being sad, so you pulled him into a hug. He came willingly, letting you bury your face in his chest. He lowered his head so it was overtop of yours, relishing in the comfort of your hug.

You pulled away a few minutes later, not wanting to overstep, but the feeling of his arms around your waist didn't let you go far.

"Thank you for coming out to my car." You laughed, trying to lighten the mood. His face was so close to yours, you could make out the individual shades of blue in his eyes.

"Thank you for sharing your story with me." He whispered back, not wanting to break the moment.

You're not sure how long you would've stayed like that, but a loud crack of thunder jolted you apart.

"What the-" You mumbled, walking over to the window to look outside. Steve followed close behind you, also curious about the weather.

It was now pouring, lightning and thunder cracking overhead.

"I guess the storm followed us to Brooklyn." He joked, rubbing the back of his neck.

"I guess so." You looked at the clock, taking in the late hour.

Steve must've followed your line of sight, because he spoke up. "It's getting late, I should probably go."

You immediately shook your head, your fear of travelling in bad weather shining through. "I can't let you leave when it's like this. It's not safe. You, um, you can stay here tonight. You can sleep in my room. I'll sleep on the couch." You grew more confident as you kept talking.

"I couldn't impose like that." Steve shook his head, not wanting to make you uncomfortable.

"Steve, it's not safe to travel when it's raining like that. I would never forgive myself if something happened to you." Your voice grew tighter, trying not to flashback to the day your parents died.

Steve seemed to realize why you were so worried about the weather, ultimately deciding to agree to stay so you wouldn't worry about him.

"Okay, okay. I'll stay here, but you sleep in your bed. I'll be fine on the couch." He refused your offer, not wanting to force you to spend a night on the couch.

"First of all, thank you. Second of all, you are sleeping in the bed. You're like two feet taller than me." You exaggerated your height difference, but you were trying to make a point. "You won't even be able to lay down on the couch. I take naps here all the time, it's super comfortable." You argued back, unwilling to allow Captain America himself sleep on your tiny ass couch.

"You know, I should've expected you to be this stubborn. You spent five weeks waiting outside the compound with no contact. Plus you're related to Bucky" He laughed to himself, slightly shaking his head. "Fine, I'll sleep in the bed."

You smiled victoriously, jumping up from the couch. "Yay! Do you need anything? I have spare toothbrushes under the sink, and I can probably find you some clothes to sleep in. There's some snacks in the kitchen if you get hungry. Oh! And Carrot might try to lay in the bed with you, but I'll try to keep her out here." You rambled, trying to make sure he was comfortable.

"Carrot?" He smiled at your rambling, finding it adorable.

"Yes! Carrot is my cat. She's a cuddler, so consider yourself warned." You paused, eyes growing wide. "You're not allergic to cats are you? I think there's probably cat fur all over my room."

He laughed again. "No, I don't think the super soldier serum left any room for allergies." He quipped.

You smacked a hand to your forehead. "Duh! Anyway, do you need anything?" You asked again, trying to calm your beating heart.

"Some clothes would be great, thank you." The way he smiled at you did nothing to soothe your nerves.

"Okay." You breathed out, finally taking a deep breath. "I'll go grab some, the bathroom is right here if you need it." You pointed it out on your way to your room. "I'm just gonna get changed real quick, and then I'll be back with your clothes."

He nodded again, watching as you turned and walked into what must be your room.

You quickly changed into a t-shirt and sleep shorts. It took a few minutes of searching through boxes, but eventually you found an old pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt for Steve to sleep in.

You made your way out of the bedroom, handing him the clothes.

"Here ya go. Like I said, there are extra toothbrushes under the sink in the bathroom, and don't hesitate to grab anything you need from the kitchen."

He eyed the clothes in his hands, wondering where they came from, but not wanting to ask.

Luckily for him, you could tell what he was wondering. "They were my dad's." A sad smile graced your face. "I- I sleep in them sometimes when I really wish I could talk to him."

"Thank you." Steve turned to go to bed, but changed his mind last minute. He set the clothes down on the couch, pulling you into another hug. "You know, I can tell your related to Buck. He always looks out for people too."

You blushed at the compliment, grateful he couldn't see your face. "Thank you, that really means a lot." You stayed like that until Steve pulled back to talk to you again.

"I can take you back to the compound tomorrow, if you want. Maybe introduce you to Bucky."

"Really?! You don't want to talk to him first? Or double check anything I told you?" You were shocked at how willing he was to introduce you to Bucky.

"I trust you. Plus, I think you should be the one to tell him." Steve didn't say it out loud, but he also thought you and Bucky would be good for each other.

Bucky had Steve to connect his past and present, but another person for him to rely on wouldn't hurt. And you clearly were looking for a family connection.

"I would love to. Thank you!" You hugged him again, although quicker this time. You jumped back, excited to collect everything you wanted to show him. "I have to find all the scrapbooks to show him!"

When you turned to start collecting things, Steve put a hand on your shoulder, essentially preventing you from moving.

"Why don't we get everything together in the morning? It's getting late and you should get some sleep." He understood how emotionally and physically draining it could be to relive a loss like yours.

"You're right. I should sleep." You tried to slow your mind down, but the prospect of meeting Bucky tomorrow filled you with a mix of excitement and nerves. You gathered your extra blankets and pillows, setting up a bed for yourself on the couch while he went into the bathroom.

You were snuggled in bed, ready to sleep when he came back out.

"Goodnight, Steve."

His heart contracted at how adorable you looked buried in blankets on the couch, but he did his best to ignore it. He'd only just met you after all.

"Goodnight, Y/N."

The next morning Steve woke up at 5, per usual. He didn't want to wake you up though, so, despite his natural tendencies to run 10 miles every Sunday morning, he stayed in bed.

That is, until he heard you shuffling around the apartment.

He poked his head out of the room first, trying to verify that you were indeed awake. When he saw you in the kitchen, he fully emerged intent on helping you with whatever you were doing.

"Good morning, you're an early riser?" His question was completely ignored. Granted you couldn't see him yet, but he didn't know why you would be ignoring him.

He made his way closer to you, tapping you on the shoulder to try and get you to interact with him.

You, in a mixture of surprise and fear, turned and threw an egg at him.

He looked at you in shock, while you stared in horror at what you had just done.

You took headphones out of your ears, explaining why you hadn't heard his question.

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry!" You reached toward him with a dish towel, trying to wipe the egg off his (your dad's) shirt. "You just surprised me! I can get you another shirt!"

"It's fine, don't worry-" You ran out of the room anyway, grabbing another shirt of your dad's from the box in your room.

He couldn't help but laugh, oddly relieved that you weren't ignoring him.

When you reentered the kitchen, a shirtless Steve Rogers was washing your dad's shirt in the sink. You froze, taking in the sight of the man before you.

When he turned back around, your eyes took on a mind of their own, soaking in his toned chest and arms. You cleared your throat, shaking yourself out of your stupor to hand him the other shirt.

"Thanks." He smirked, but still blushed slightly before he put it on, ringing out the other shirt before handing it to you. "I didn't want the egg to stick to it since it was your dads, so i rinsed it off..." he trailed off, unsure if it was the right thing to say.

"That's really sweet, thank you. Especially because it was my fault there was even egg on it in the first place." You laughed, trying not to blush with embarrassment.

"Don't worry about it, really. I shouldn't have snuck up on you." He laughed as well, clearing any lingering tension. He took a look around the kitchen, taking in just how much stuff you had out.

"What are you making?" He smiled when you blushed again.

"Oh, I was making plum cobbler... I just, I read online that Bucky likes plums, so I thought I would bring him a cobbler." You blushed again, embarrassed by the admission.

"He does." Steve smiled, completely enamoured with your personality. "Did you want some help?"

"Actually, the cobblers are in the oven already. I was going to make breakfast next, though, so you can help with that." You smiled, noting how easy it was to spend time with him.

"Cobblers? I know Bucky's a super soldier, but one would have been plenty." He joked with you, moving to help scramble some eggs.

"Well, yeah. One is for him, but then I thought the other Avengers might be there and I didn't want to not have enough so I made three."

"You're too cute." The words slipped out before he could even think about what he was saying.

You blushed again, a frequent occurrence it seems when you're with Steve.

You uttered a quick thanks, trying to change the subject. "Do you always get up this early?"

He chuckled again. "Yeah, typically I don't need much sleep. I usually run in the mornings, try to clear my head."

The two of you fell into easy conversation, moving around each other effortlessly to make eggs, sausage, toast, and smoothies for breakfast.

When you finished eating, you collected the scrapbooks Bucky might want to see. You added his mom's wedding ring, the one your mom wore as well, to the box.

"What's that?" Steve pointed to the box, unsure if his assumption was correct.

You pulled out two scrapbooks, pointing to the near identical pictures of Bucky's mom and your mom after having been proposed to.

"My mom always told me her engagement ring was a family heirloom. I think it was his mom's ring too. I thought he might like to have it. As something to remember her by, ya know?"

You got teary eyed again. Thinking about how much he must miss his family combined with how much you miss your own parents was too much to handle.

You finished gathering everything, putting it all in a box to make for easier transportation. You took the cobblers out of the oven, packing them as well.

With a deep breath, you followed Steve back out to your car, ready to talk to Bucky.

"Where the hell is Steve?" Bucky nearly stormed into the kitchen.

"Whoa, calm down tinman. What's up?" Sam replied casually, pouring cereal into a bowl.

"Where is Steve? I was supposed to run with him this morning, but he wasn't in his room when I went to find him. I don't even like running this early. I literally only do it because it's what he prefers."

Sam laughed, enjoying anything that annoys Bucky. "Dude, chill. He probably just forgot you were going with him."

Tony walked into the kitchen as well, trying to tune out the whines coming from Bucky, but failing.

"That's what I though, but he's always back by now." Bucky huffed, annoyed with Sam for laughing.

"Who?" Tony asked, now slightly intrigued.

"Steve. I haven't seen him since yesterday." Bucky replied as he angrily ate an apple.

"Really?" Tony sounded mildly concerned, immediately alerting Sam and confusing Bucky.

"You don't think?" Sam asked, ignoring Bucky for the time being.

"I don't know!" Tony looked bewildered. "Friday, where is Capsicle?"

"Captain Rogers left yesterday evening with Y/N L/N." The AI easily replied.

"Who?" Bucky questioned the room, never having learned your name.

"You know the woman who's been sitting outside every Saturday?" Bucky nodded to Sam, unsure why he was bringing it up. "Well, Steve went to ask her why she was here last night."

"Nat told me she was just some fan, wanted to see you all." Bucky furrowed his brow, thinking over the new information on Steve's wearabouts.

"Well, yeah that's what we thought. Look, she said she wanted to talk to you specifically." Sam explained, ignoring the pointed glare from Tony.

"What? Why didn't you tell me?" Bucky rose from his chair, annoyed at everyone now. "Now she's got Steve?"

"Relax, Steve can handle himself. She cleared her background check. We really don't have any reason to believe he's in danger." Tony's words were more to convince himself than anyone else. He's the one who said Cap should go check it out if he was so curious.

"Steve's too trusting. What if it was a trap?" Bucky questioned, glaring daggers at the other two men.

Before they could respond, Friday chimed in with more information.

"Captain Rogers just entered the elevator from the parking garage."

"See, he's fine." Tony glared back at Bucky, secretly relieved that Steve was fine.

Bucky just rolled his eyes before leaving, heading for the elevators to yell at Steve for ditching him this morning.

When the elevator doors opened, however, Steve was not alone.

"Hey, punk, why'd you ditch me- Oh. Who are you?" Bucky eyed you suspiciously, looking between you and Steve.

Before Bucky interrupted, Steve was trying to reassure you that everything would work out. He had a hand on your back, rubbing up and down to soothe your nerves.

His other arm was occupied by the box of scrapbooks, or else he probably would have hugged you again.

You were holding a large sheet pan, three pie dishes sitting on top.

Steve was blushing, a surefire sign Bucky had seen something he wasn't supposed to.

"Oh, um. Hi. My name is Y/N L/N." You froze, not thinking you would have to see him so soon. You could see the family resemblance between him, your great grandma, and your mom.

"The car girl." He nodded, trying to piece together the events of last night.

"Yep, that's me." You laughed nervously, unsure of what he already knew.

"Buck, do me a favor? Let us out of the elevator." Steve eyed him, mildly annoyed with the ambush.

Bucky moved to the side, allowing you and Steve to exit the elevator. You followed Steve down the hall to the kitchen, where you put the cobblers on the counter.

Sam and Tony were still there, eating various foods.

"Well, hello there." Tony greeted when he spotted you, intrigued by the development. He looked at Steve for an explanation.

"Y/N made plum cobbler." Steve said instead, moving his hand back to the small of your back.

Bucky's eyes lit up at the mention of plums, enough to momentarily distract him from Steve's actions.

"Oh, right!" You took a cobbler out of the dish, moving toward Bucky. "This one's for you, because I read that you liked plums." You handed him the dish, quickly moving back to the others. "I also made a peach and an apple for everyone else." You smiled at Tony and Sam, unknowingly leaning slightly into Steve.

"Why does he get a special cobbler?" Sam whined, eagerly reaching for the other dishes.

Suddenly, all eyes were on you. Well, except Sam's who were on the peach cobbler.

"Oh, um, well, I was hoping I could talk to you." You looked at Bucky nervously, unsure of how he would respond.

"Anyone who bakes me a plum cobbler can talk to me, Doll." Natasha chose that exact moment to enter the room.

"Who made plum cobbler?" She looked around the room, eyes narrowing in your direction. "How did you get in here?"

"I brought her." Steve smiled at you before walking over to Natasha. He whispered in her ear, just loud enough for her to hear, but nobody else. "She's not a threat to your relationship, trust me."

Nat nodded her head, trusting Steve, although not for the reasons he thought. She could clearly see the blonde's affinity for you.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" Bucky asked between bites of cobbler.

"It's really a private conversation." Steve answered for you, seeing how unsure of yourself you were.

"Then why do you know, punk?" Bucky countered.

"Well, I had to tell someone so I could finally talk to you. Steve's the one who asked." You smiled at Steve again, trying to convey how grateful you were with just a look.

Steve smiled back at you, while everyone in else just shared a knowing look.

Eventually, Steve cleared his throat. "Buck, can you just come with us?"

Bucky nodded, moving to follow Steve while still eating the cobbler. You followed the two of them as well, growing more nervous with each step.

Steve lead you to his room, placing the box of scrapbooks on the bed.

"Do you want me to stay?" Steve looked to you for an answer.

You took a deep breath, in all honestly you would love for him to stay, but you think you should probably just talk to Bucky first.

"No, that's okay. Come back in like, 30 minutes?" You scrunched up your face, unsure if 30 minutes was long enough, but knowing you would need the deadline if you were ever going to explain it all to Bucky.

Steve nodded, squeezing your shoulder as he passed you to leave the room.

"Um," you turned to Bucky, trying to think of where to start. "I don't know what you already know about me, but-"

"Nothing really. Except that you make a delicious plum cobbler." He smiled, helping to ease your nerves. Food really was the way to this man's heart.

"Oh, I guess I'll start where I started when I told Steve." You smiled at the mention of his name, unaware of your own actions. But Bucky noticed.

"My parents died a few months ago." Bucky's eyes went wide, trying to think of what this could have to do with him. "Um, it was a car accident. They both died on the scene." You took a deep breath, trying to push through the sad parts.

"I had to clean out their house, and I found some scrapbooks that lead me to you." You shifted closer to the bed, looking through the scrapbooks you brought.

You pulled out the one with the first picture you showed Steve, opening it and gesturing for Bucky to take it.

He set the cobbler on Steve's nightstand, cautiously reaching for the book. He looked at the picture for a long time before saying anything. And when he did talk, it was a whispered "Becca..."

He ran his fingers over the picture slowly, just staring. A few minutes later, he eagerly flipped the page. He spent a good 10 minutes just looking through all the books you handed him.

"Where did you get these?" He questioned, although not accusingly.

"I found them in my parents house. They were with a bunch of my grandma's stuff that she had from her mom." You wanted to ease him into it.

"So your great grandma..." He trailed off, disbelief clear across his face.

"Was Rebecca Barnes." You finished the sentence for him, nerves clear in your voice.

You weren't sure what to say next, so you waited for him to make the next move.

"So you're my... great-grand niece?" You nodded at his question, still unsure if he was happy with the news. "God, that makes me feel old."

You nearly cackled, surprised by the joke. He smiled when you laughed, glad to have cleared some of the tension.

"Why did you want to find me?" He questioned, the mood turning more serious again.

"Well, I was really close to my parents. They were the only family I had. When I found out you are family too, I just... I knew I needed to at least tell you." You shrugged at the end, unsure if you really answered his question.

"You wanted to tell me so badly that you sat outside the compound every Saturday for five weeks even after being ignored?" He was in shock that anyone would spend that much time and effort just to talk to him. You started panicking immediately.

"I'm so sorry if you didn't want to know! It was selfish of me to force this on you. I can go, if you want. You don't have to talk to me." You started questioning everything. You moved to put the books back in the box when he stopped you.

"Oh, um. I'm sorry, you can keep those. If you want!" Tears were threatening to fall down your cheeks when you remembered the ring. You froze with your hand in the box, not knowing if you'd want to part with it knowing you'd never see Bucky again.

"Y/N..." Something in the way he said your name made you look at him. "I- I'm glad you told me. Really glad. I, uh, I never thought I would have family, well besides Steve. You know what I mean." He ran a hand through his hair, and you noticed the tears in his eyes.

"I don't want you to go. It's just hard for me..." he paused, trying to figure out his emotions. "It's hard to believe that someone would care about me that much."

"Bucky, I don't know you." He frowned at your statement. "But, I would love to get to know you." You smiled at him, trying to be reassuring.

"I'm not so sure you would." His face was hard, staring at the ground.

"Bucky, you aren't a bad person. I mean, sure you've done bad things, but it wasn't your choice. You were forced to do those things. You can't let yourself be defined by them. You're here aren't you?"

"Here?" He questioned.

"Working with the Avengers, I mean. You go on missions to help save people. That's your choice. That's who you are. I would be honored to get to know that person."

You smiled, waiting for him to say something.

"Are you sure?" He still looked unsure.

"God, maybe I get my stubbornness from you." You both laughed at that. "I am 100% sure."

"Wow." He shook his head, still in shock.

A knock sounded on the door before Steve came back in. "Is now a good time?" He asked, still standing in the doorway.

You nodded appreciatively. "Thank you." You pulled him into a hug, needing the emotional support.

"Of course. I'm happy I could help." He rubbed your back, reciprocating the hug. "Did you give him the ring yet?" He asked when you took a step back.

You shook your head, reaching into the box for the last item. "I, um, I thought you might want this." You handed him the box, nerves peaking through again.

He opened it, a soft smile on his face when he recognized it. "My mom's engagement ring."

You smiled, happy that he recognized it. "It was my mom's as well."

The two of you stared a the ring for awhile, reminiscing on time spent with your parents.

Eventually, Bucky picked the cobbler back up, not wanting to let it go to waste.

Steve couldn't help but roll his eyes at his friend. "Wow, jerk. You're just gonna go back to eating."

"Yes, punk. My great-grand niece made me a plum cobbler, and I tend to fully enjoy it."

"Great-grand niece. Ha, that makes you sound so old."

It was fun for you to see the two interacting like this, especially after the emotional hurdles you just ran.

"It's fine, Stevie. Let him enjoy the cobbler." Your face went red, not having meant to use the nickname.

"Yeah Stevie, let me enjoy the cobbler." Bucky couldn't help but poke fun, knowing there was an unspoken attraction between the two of you.

Somehow your face got even redder. Steve just rolled his eyes.

"Fine, eat your cobbler. Only because I had some of the apple one and it was delicious. It would be a shame to waste any."

You smiled at the compliment, embarrassment subsiding a bit. Steve sat down on the bed between you and Bucky, eager to ask his friend about some of the pictures. Steve put his arm around you, squeezing your shoulder as he spoke to Bucky.

You felt your eyes growing heavy, exhausted since your nerves kept you up most of the night. You rested your head on Steve's shoulder, soaking in his warmth as you cuddled closer.

Steve just rubbed your arm like it was the most natural thing in the world. Bucky narrowed his eyes at the interaction, realization dawning on his face.

"Oh my god. My best friend likes my great-grand niece. And she likes him." He said it so matter of fact, the two of you didn't bother denying it. You just smiled, and cuddled closer together.

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x natasha #bucky barnes x natasha romanoff #tony stark #sam wilson #steve rogers #bucky barnes #marvel fic #clint barton #Bucky Barnes x platonic!reader

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snelbz · 3 years

Text

Tempting the Fates {Chapter 1}

Summary: It’s the final semester of Aelin Galathynius’ collegiate career and she is so beyond ready to be done. Her schedule is packed full of nursing classes and labs designed to test her knowledge and hone her skills for the real world and her “big girl” job. However, she needs one last elective to graduate, so she decides to study a subject she’s always been fascinated by: Mythology. Who would have thought that a class about gods and goddesses living complicated lives would end up complicating her own in such an unexpected way?

A/N: Fun fact about this one, y’all. I wrote the first chapter over 3 years ago and it was for a completely different story. This one has evolved on it's own and Tara and I are so excited to finally share it with you.

Word Count: 3493

Chapters will be posted every Wednesday.

Tempting the Fates Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

Zeus

– King of the gods and ruler of Mount Olympus; god of the sky, lightning, thunder and law.

The waves lapped against the sand as Aelin sighed. Strong hands rubbed the muscles in her back and worked out the kinks in her neck as the warm sun heated her body. The smell of the salt water filled her senses and she settled into the cushioned chaise. Another set of hands set a fruity looking drink with a little pink umbrella on the table next to her head. She smiled at it.

“Can we get you anything else, miss?”

Aelin opened her mouth to tell them exactly what they could do to her.

Beep! Beep! Beep!

Aelin’s eyes snapped open and she glared at her phone, chiming at her to get up.

She groaned, reaching for the offending device and silenced it, pulling her pillow over her head. She began to doze back off when her bedroom door flew open, smacking into the dresser on the wall behind it. She sat bolt upright and found her roommate leaning against the doorframe, a bowl of cereal in her hands and a gleam of mischief in her emerald eyes.

“Rise and shine, princess,” Lysandra drawled. Aelin just continued to scowl at her roommate. The bright warmth of the sun in her dream faded away as she looked out the window. Ice coated it and she could see a fresh layer of snow coated everything. “Aedion is about to be up, too. If you’d like any chance of taking a warm shower before class today, I’d suggest-.”

She was up and in the hallway before Lysandra could even finish her sentence.

Thirty minutes later, she sat on the kitchen counter, hair wrapped up in a towel, eating an apple and going over her schedule for the thousandth time. Her four classes were split into two days each, mercifully giving her Friday off.

Her cousin, long golden hair tied into a ponytail at the nape of his neck, came into the kitchen, pulling the jug of milk out of the fridge. He leaned on the counter across from her and drank straight from the plastic bottle, glaring daggers at her.

“Can I help you with something,” she asked him sweetly.

“You used the last of the hot water,” Aedion sulked, taking another swig.

She looked over, blowing him a quick kiss. “Maybe you should have gotten up earlier.”

He rolled his eyes, identical to her own, and came over to look at her computer screen. “What classes do you have this semester?”

She scrolled down the list, reading them off. “Pathophysiology, Caring for the Childbearing Family, Health and Gerontology, a few labs, and Mythology.”

Aedion’s eyebrows pulled together as she read the last one. “That doesn’t seem like it will be very helpful to a nurse.”

She shrugged, closing the laptop and sliding off the counter. “I needed one last elective. I’ve always been interested in Greek and Roman mythology and it’s a freshman level class. I figured why not study something for fun for once?”

He couldn’t fault her logic and began pulling ingredients out of the fridge to cook breakfast as Aelin headed back towards her bedroom. “Whatever you’re cooking, make two,” she called over her shoulder. She didn’t even need to look back to know the obscene gesture being flicked in her direction.

-------------------

Aelin was regretting studying something fun for once as she looked at the map of her classes.

All of her classes, save for one, were in the nursing building. Of course, that one other class was all the way across campus, in one of the general education buildings. At least walking there would take her right past her favorite coffee shop on campus and with an eight am every Tuesday and Thursday morning, she knew she’d take full advantage of that.

Thankfully today was a Monday, so she’d be spending the entirety of her day in the nursing building. But first, she had to have coffee. The first day of the semester required coffee.

Aelin parked in one of the student lots close to the nursing building. Throwing her leather bag over her shoulder, she slammed her car door. It was absolutely freezing and she suppressed a growl as she saw soft white flakes drifting toward the ground.

What a great way to start off the semester, she thought.

She made her way across campus, hands deep in her pockets and face buried in her scarf. As she crossed the quad, she pulled her phone out to check the time. She still had about twenty minutes to get coffee and get to class. Snow crunched under her boots as she picked up the pace, wanting to be sure she made it on time. Aelin was big on first impressions.

As she approached the door of the café, she reached for the handle, but the door swung open suddenly, slamming into her and knocking her off her feet.

The young girl, eyes wide, apologized profusely but said that she had to get to class and ran off. Aelin was mumbling something about where the freshman could go, when she heard a deep chuckle and a tan, tattooed hand appeared in front of her face. She glanced up and the air was pulled from her lungs.

The owner of the hand was a handsome man in his mid-twenties, with hair the color of the snow swirling around his head and green eyes. Not emerald like Lysandra’s, but deep and rich like a pine tree. A tattoo, similar to the one on his hand, snaked up his neck and onto his face. She’d be willing to bet it ran down the whole length of his arm. She’d love to find out for herself. He smiled at her, a wicked, beautiful smile. She could only stare at the gorgeous stranger as she gripped her hand in his. He lifted her to her feet.

“You okay?” He asked. Aelin nodded, pulling her hand out of his. He opened the door and motioned for her to go ahead of him. She stepped into the delicious warmth and immediately got her wits back.

“I’m Aelin,” she said, giving him a man eater’s smile.

“Rowan,” he said, a slight incline of his head in acknowledgment.

“Thank you, Rowan,” she said, letting his name slip out of her lips like a purr, as she’d heard Lysandra do it to her cousin many times. She knew it drove Aedion crazy and for some reason, that’s exactly what she wanted to do to this man. She walked to the line. He got in line behind her and she pulled out her phone, figuring that would be that. A bit of shameless flirting with a stranger was never a bad thing. She ordered her coffee and was surprised when the barista handed her the paper cup, a phone number written on the side. She quirked an eyebrow at the girl, who gave Aelin a knowing glance and looked over her shoulder. Aelin turned around, meeting a pine green gaze, and smiled at him. She headed back out into the frost and snow, pulling her phone out to snap a picture of the cup to send to Lysandra, knowing her best friend would love this.

Finding the classroom in the nursing building where she’d spent the bulk of the past two years was a breeze and she made it into the classroom with seven minutes to spare. She enjoyed her time with Professor Hafiza in the fall and anticipated she’d like her this semester again, too. Nonetheless, she settled in about three-quarters of the way up and looked at the coffee cup again.

Feeling bold, she entered the number into her phone and sent a quick text.

Any chance you want to sweep me off of my feet again and grab drinks later? I’m free anytime after 5:00. – Aelin.

Her phone buzzed almost immediately.

My last class lets out at 6:00 and I have to go to the gym afterward. How does 8:00 sound?

She typed a quick reply and placed her phone back on her desk.

Sounds like a date. The Beer Cellar, on Church Street.

She smirked to herself and glanced down at her watch. 9:58. Not even 10:00 am and the semester was off to a great start.

She unlocked her phone, shooting a quick text to Lysandra, letting her know about her new plans for the evening when she heard the door open and students started to hush.

It wasn’t the most exciting class, Aelin had to admit, but she supposed the information was necessary. Hopefully it wasn’t an indication of how the rest of her semester would go. She needed a little excitement in her schedule, that was for sure.

Aelin liked to be kept on her toes.

After two classes and a crappy salad for lunch from the school cafeteria, Aelin was hurrying across campus and down the street, toward her apartment. Lysandra was nowhere to be found, which meant she was either snuggled up with Aedion somewhere or still in class. Aelin’s bet was on the former.

After organizing her deskspace, Aelin went to her closet, and attempted to pick out what she should wear for the night. It was her first date of the semester, which either meant that it could be a complete win or a complete fail.

She ultimately decided that the sluttier the better.

Laying the gold dress out on her bed, she let herself into the Lysandra’s room, borrowing a pair of strappy black heels she knew her roommate would absolutely approve of and was back out the door, ready to suffer through her first lab of the semester. Three hours was going to drag by, but thankfully, it was only once a week.

And drag by it did, but Aelin wasn’t sure if it was thanks to the monotonous recap of her previous semester’s information or thinking about seeing Rowan again. She usually wasn’t so forward, even though Rowan had clearly been the one to start it all, giving her his number. But still, she typically would have at least waited a day or two before texting him.

But there was just something about him that she couldn’t get out of her head.

She grabbed her gym bag out of the car, thankful she had a bit of time to get a work out in before she went out. Thanks to tonight, Aelin was a pent up ball of energy and needed to get it out someway. After a solid forty-five minutes on the treadmill and nearly thirty on the free weights, Aelin was heading for the locker room when she noticed a silver head of hair across the gym.

She watched him as he pulled himself up on the bar, his chin going over the piece of metal each time. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, sweat poured down his chest as his arms swelled. Aelin had been right.

That tattoo went across his chest, and all the way down his arm. He did the pull-ups so effortlessly, and Aelin’s mind began to wander to unholy places.

It wasn’t until his feet hit the mat beneath him that she was brought back to reality and hurried into the locker room. If he was here, that meant their date was approaching, and she had to get ready. She checked her phone. It was nearly seven.

Aelin hurried back home and showered. She had once vowed, during her freshman year, that she would avoid the gym showers at all costs and only used them under emergency circumstances. Luckily, her and Lysandra’s apartment was only five minutes from the gym.

After a shower and a full-body shaving session, Aelin was brushing out her long, golden hair and blow drying it until it was flowing freely down her back. She kept her makeup decently simple - at least, that’s how she made it look, and straightened the slight waves out of her hair before putting on her little, golden dress.

Once she had slipped on Lysandra’s heels, she was looking at herself in the mirror and even she had to admit that she was looking hot.

After grabbing her clutch, she hurried down the hallway and into the living room, where she found Lysandra and Aedion snuggled together on the couch, watching a movie.

“Going out with a stranger?” Lysandra asked, brow raised. “I'm so proud of you.”

“Yeah, just keep it in your pants,” Aedion mumbled.

“I thought I’d bring him back here,” she said, winking at Lysandra. “You don’t want to have breakfast together tomorrow?”

“Absolutely not,” Aedion mumbled and Lysandra chuckled, leaning into his embrace.

“Have fun, call me if you need me,” Lysandra called as Aelin blew them a kiss and headed for the door.

Her Uber was waiting when she walked out front and before she knew it, she was walking down the stairs into her favorite bar. Glancing around, she didn’t see Rowan sitting at the bar or any of the booths around the room.

So she bought herself a drink and claimed one of the pool tables, setting her coat and clutch on a bar stool nearby. Over halfway through the game, she felt eyes on her and glanced up to find Rowan standing at the other end of the table. Giving him a smirk, she knocked the cue ball into the yellow-striped 9 ball. It sank into the pocket.

“Playing with yourself?” Rowan asked, and Aelin caught a slight accent that she had missed earlier.

Aelin’s grin widened. “Well, if I’m left hanging, a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do.”

Rowan breathed a laugh. “Fair enough. And if I asked to join?”

“You sure you don’t just want to watch?” she asked, leaning on the table, making sure her cleavage was perfectly visible.

Rowan’s tongue shot out and subtly licked his bottom lip. “Tempting.”

Aelin pushed herself back and grabbed the rack, starting to collect the balls. “Buy me a drink and then we’ll talk.”

Rowan bit his lip to hide his spreading grin. “Fair enough. I’ll be back.”

Aelin watched as he left, watched as he went to the bar and bought her another drink, alongside one for himself. He came back with two glasses. One was the color of the sunrise, the other a caramelly brown.

“Sex on the Beach?” Aelin asked, brow raised.

He shrugged and handed her the glass. “Sounded promising.”

“So… Rowan,” she said, letting his name drag out as she said it. He was dressed in a pair of dark jeans and the black Henley he wore made his hair seem even brighter in the dim light of the bar.

“Aelin,” he purred right back, pulling a pool stick from the wall behind her, nearly boxing her in. She realized then how much larger than her he was.

She loved it.

“I hope your coffee helped you get through the rest of your day,” she said, resetting the game and racking the balls. She glanced at him over her shoulder as she reached into the middle of the table, and he was watching her, staring at her ass.

Slutty was definitely the right option tonight.

“It certainly did, especially considering how boring it was,” he replied, reaching around her for the chalk that rested on the edge of the table. “But when I got your text, it gave me something to look forward to. Even if it made the day last twice as long.”

“Happy I could help.” She picked her drink up and stirred it, before taking a long sip through the straw.

“Would you like to break, or should I?” He asked, nodding to the pool table.

“Let’s see what you can do.”

He grunted as he stepped forward, lined up his stick, and knocked the cue ball into the others. They broke apart, but none of them fell into the pockets. Rowan stood there for a moment, his lips pursed. Meanwhile, Aelin tossed her head back and burst into laughter.

“Alright, alright,” Rowan said, straightening up and turning to face her. “So pool isn’t my thing.”

Aelin stepped up next to him and aimed her stick, leaning over the table, her ass nearly rubbed up against Rowan’s front. “Hopefully you’re better at other things.”

Rowan’s hand brushed along Aelin’s hip, just as she got ready to shoot, causing her shot to go haywire. She spun around, eyes narrowed. “That’s foul play.”

“No one said we were playing fair,” he countered.

“What about playing for drinks?” She asked, raising an eyebrow.

He lifted his own eyebrows and he said, “I’ve got an eight am…”

Shrugging, she said, “So do I.” Then she leaned in close, thankful for the three-inch heels she’d pilfered from Lysandra’s closet and breathed into his ear, “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you’re up in time.”

“So sure of how this night is going to go,” he said quietly, just loud enough for her to hear him, and she felt his hand skimming over the curve of her ass. “Fine. We’ll play for drinks.”

It turned out Rowan hadn’t been lying about pool not being his thing. They played three games back to back, and he lost them all, but every time he returned with a drink for Aelin, he had one for himself as well. By the time she dragged him towards the small dance floor in the center of the bar, they were both stumbling and his lips found her neck before his hands even gripped her hips.

His lips were soft, gentle, nothing like she had expected. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe he was just getting tired, perhaps he was usually rough.

But, when his hands found Aelin’s hips and he brought her back into him, she felt that roughness. It seemed Rowan was the best of both worlds. Gentle when prompted, rough beneath the surface.

Aelin turned to him and slung her arms around his neck, bringing his lips to hers. Their mouths crashed into one another, and their bodies slowed until it felt like they were the only two on the dancefloor.

Rowan pulled away, just a little bit, and breathed, his eyes wild, “Aelin-.”

“Take me to your place,” she said, her mouth finding his, once again.

Before she knew what was happening, they were in the backseat of an Uber, unable to keep their hands off of one another. Thanks to it being a college town, the driver didn’t say a word, just dropped them in front of an upscale building, just off the east side of campus.

She noticed how nice it was on the short elevator ride up, but was much more preoccupied by the way his hips pressed into hers. He dragged her along the hall, his lips never leaving hers, until her back was pressed against a cool door and he was fumbling to get it unlocked. It swung wide and she gripped his collar, pulling him inside.

Throwing her clutch and coat by the door, Aelin let her hands dive into his cropped silver hair and he responded by cupping her ass and lifting her up. Her legs were around his waist and he carried her through the apartment and into his bedroom. Neither of them had any delusions about how and where this would end and Aelin felt like she was going to combust as he dropped her on the bed and gazed down at her.

His eyes were full of lust, full of hunger, a wild animal with his eye on his prey. He wasted no time stripping Aelin down and admiring her body with his hands, his tongue, his lips. Rowan may not have been good at pool, but he was right when he said he was far better at other things.

He worshipped her, and Aelin knew it wasn’t the alcohol when she was sent into utter bliss.

When he rolled off of her, breath still uneven, Aelin watched as he dealt with the condom and fell back into the bed beside her.

She cleared her throat. “I can go…if you want me to.”

Rowan turned to look at her, and she could tell he was still just as drunk as she was. “What? No, of course not. You said you’ve got an eight am, too, right?” She nodded and he tugged on her hand, pulling her closer to him. They were both still gloriously naked and she could feel the heat radiating off of his body. “Then we can both make sure the other is up so we aren’t late. Or too hungover.”

Aelin snorted softly, resting her head on his chest. “I think that particular ship has sailed.”

“You’re probably right,” he mumbled and she could tell he was already starting to doze. She was on the brink of sleep herself.

Aelin decided then, as her eyes closed, that she didn’t care if she was hungover in the morning, or if she was late to her eight am. A night being praised by Rowan had been perfectly worth it.

#tempting the fates #snacmc ttf #snacmc collab #rowaelin ttf #throne of glass #rowan whitethorn #aelin galythinius

197 notes · View notes

sundaysundaes · 3 years

Text

Jealousy

Lee Donghyuck/Haechan X Reader | Smut, Fluff, Drama | NC-17 | College AU Summary: It comes as a nice surprise when you saw your ex-boyfriend at your workplace and you thought everything was going to be fine. You both have moved on, right? Unfortunately for you, your boyfriend, Lee Donghyuck, thinks otherwise.

Warnings: rough unprotected sex, oral sex, slight choking, slight dirty talk, this is just pure filth you guys I’m so sorry I had too much feels

It’s the continuation of Before Our Story Began but can still be read separately if you want.

It has been months since you first dated Lee Donghyuck, also popularly known as Lee Haechan, and things were great—more than great, even, but all good things have come to an end at one point. Your relationship with Haechan is still going pretty strong, but now that you have passed the Honeymoon Phase—where it’s all just sex and raw passion—things can sometimes get a little tense.

While he’s been certainly fun and charming for the most times you’ve been together, not to mention adventurous when it comes to sex, Haechan can be really stubborn and selfish that you often start to bicker with him over the simplest of things.

Like yesterday, for example.

“Look, I said I’m sorry!” He whined and you held yourself back from rolling your eyes because that was so him and it wasn’t really cute anymore. Especially after he arrived an hour late at the cafe that he’d asked you to meet a day before.

“I’m not angry,” you stated, emptying the rest of your coffee. On the other side, Haechan’s ice americano was still pretty much full considering he just got there and you had ordered the drink for him an hour before, thinking that he was going to be on time for your date. But no, he was so into the new online game Jaemin had told him about a week ago that he began to lose track of time. It seemed to you that was all he’d been doing for the last few days, and you were fine with giving him some personal space but clearly not if he was wasting your precious time instead. Not everybody is as smart as him when it comes to keeping good grades. Maybe he doesn’t have to study much, but you do.

“You are! You’re totally angry!” He pointed out and you sighed because of course, I’m angry, you idiot, I had to spend an hour by myself doing literally nothing because you asked me to go out when I’m supposed to be working on my papers that’s due tomorrow but you kept yourself in silence. You had to be the adult in the relationship, especially when you’re dating a goddamn brat.

“Whatever.” You placed back your phone—which had been your only companion—into your purse and wore back your coat. “I have to go.”

His eyebrows—his thick, beautiful eyebrows that you love so much (though not that day) were knitted in both desperation and annoyance from how you acted. “Noona!” He wailed, grabbing your hand when you stood up from your seat. “What do you want me to do? If I could go back to the past, I would, but I can’t and you being unreasonably angry like this isn’t—”

“Unreasonably?”

Haechan’s jaw hung slackly on his face when he noticed the anger radiating off your body. You were angry before but not this angry. “I’m sorry, that came out wrong.”

You clicked your tongue in irritation, pulling your hand out of his grip. “I’ll see you later, Donghyuck.” It was cold, the way you said it, and Haechan sensed that. But being the whiny brat that he was, he just kept on shouting back, gathering people’s attention.

“Can’t we be adults and talk about this—Yah!” When you didn’t answer—or even glanced back at him—he threw his hands in the air, yelling, “You know what? Fine! I don’t really want to hang out with you anyway! In fact, it’s actually better for me if we don’t hang, ever!”

But you already had your feet out of the door.

On the next day, he came by to your dorm at four in the morning, making your roommate groan with a hellish fire burning in her eyes. “If that’s your boyfriend, I am going to kill him.”

“Don’t bother, I will,” you muttered in response before you stepped down from your bed, turned on the lighting (which earned another loud groan from your friend), and reached for the door. Haechan stood there with his hair looking like a bird’s nest, his cheeks reddening from the morning cold, and his eyes bleary from lacking sleep.

“I’m sorry,” he softly said in all of the sincerity he could emit. “I’ve been an asshole.”

“It’s four in the morning, Haechan-ah.”

“I know, but I can’t sleep thinking about what happened before and I don’t think I can before you forgive me.” He did his best pout. It was cute, but not cute enough to wash your vexation away. “Also, it’s raining heavily outside, if you haven’t noticed, so I thought it would add some dramatic effects to my apology.”

“You’re not wet though.”

“Neither were you before you met me,” he joked, wiggling his eyebrows but when he noticed you glaring at him in reticence—oh if looks could kill—he flinched and hastily added, “Sorry, bad timing. I don’t know why I said that. Well, umm, it was kinda cold when I stepped under the rain so I decided to just bring an umbrella with me.” He suddenly seemed like he remembered something. “Oh yeah, can I leave it here? I’ve got an early class today and I don’t really want to carry it with me everywhere.”

That earned another flat stare from you. “You’re not taking any of this seriously, are you?”

“I am! I swear!” He squeaked, shuffling inside his bag before he took out a white box with a red bow wrapped around it. “Look, I brought you some chocolates.”

“I’m on a diet.”

“Well, now, how am I supposed to know?”

“I literally told you that yesterday.” To say he was testing your patience would be an understatement at that point. “Remember? When you arrived late on our date and you asked why aren’t you ordering anything and I said I’m on a fucking diet!”

“Yo, chill, I was just trying to be nice.” Haechan grabbed you by the shoulders, massaging the sore spots and it would probably feel good if you weren’t so pissed-off over his antics. “Also, Noona, don’t you know? Men have a harder time remembering things than women do. And that’s just scientifically speaking, not me.”

You exhaled so loudly into the air, slapping his hands away. “Look, it’s literally four in the morning. Can we talk again when the sun is up? Like normal people?”

“Noona, pleaseeeeee.” He threw his head back in exasperation. “I said I’m sorry! What else do you wa—”

“JUST FORGIVE HIM FOR FUCK’S SAKE! YOU GUYS ARE TAKING FOREVER AND YOU’RE GIVING ME HEADACHES!” Maybe you and Haechan were getting a bit loud, but your roommate was just shouting like she was about to march on a war so you didn’t really have the choice. It was either take your boyfriend’s apology or have your roommate kill both you and your boyfriend at the same time.

Haechan sheepishly and annoyingly smiled at you. “She’s got a point, you know.”

But, of course, he does learn his lesson from time-to-time so things don’t always end up in fights. And Haechan can be considerate, if he wants, noticing the little things that you do. Like when you’re wearing a new skirt (or new underwear, for that matter), giving you his jacket when you sniffle from the cold (as cheesy as that sounds, it does make your heart flutter a bit), or intertwining your fingers together when you’re nervous before your presentation.

Hopefully today this considerate version of his comes out to play again because there’s something you want to talk about with him.

“I think I need to start looking for a part-time job,” you say, sighing contently as he has his lips on your neck, suckling on the soft skin. Your fingers are playing with the soft strands of his hair, unconsciously tugging at them when he brings his tongue into the game. You know it’s not really the best time to have this conversation—especially not when he has his hand under your shirt as you sit on his lap at the back of his car—but with Haechan, it’s almost always like this whenever you’re alone with him so you don’t really have that many options. “I’m running out of money.”

“From dumping too many dead bodies in the swamp?” He chuckles next to your ear, unbuttoning more of your shirt and pushing the fabric off your shoulder. “Babe, I’ve told you,” he mouths against your skin. “You gotta search for a new swamp that’s free of charge—”

“Shut up.” But you’re laughing anyway. This inside joke you two have has become somewhat of a routine—a topic that pops out anytime in any conversation.

You can feel his grin pressing against the sensitive skin below your ear. “Told ya this swamp thing could be our thing.”

“No, I’m serious.” But despite that, you have to hold back a moan when you feel his hand roaming around your chest, his fingers slipping underneath your bra. You can’t tell him exactly why you need this job because you don’t want him to feel sorry for you. But the truth is, your parents back home have been having financial problems and you know how costly your college tuition can get. You just want to help out, even if it’s not much, and try to survive on your own without using your parents’ money. “I need some pocket money.”

Haechan has your earlobe between his teeth, his breathing feels warm and extremely sexy in your ears. “Mmm, for what?”

“To buy personal things.”

“What personal things?”

“Like…” You bite your lower lip, having the hardest time concentrating when he starts to play with your nipple, his thumb brushing against the sensitive bud. “I don’t know, like girl things.”

Haechan suddenly pulls away, looking you straight in the eyes with his own gleaming in excitement. “You mean like a customized dildo?”

“Make-up, Donghyuck.” You flatly stare back. All your sexual excitement from before? Gone. “I mean, make-up.”

“Sure, that too. But,” he insists and you roll your eyes, knowing where this is going. “Have you ever considered playing with a dildo in your spare time? Because I have. I mean, picturing you using it. Not me using it in my ass, oh God, no.”

“Are you done?”

“No, seriously.” It turns out, he’s not finished. And he still has a long way to go, judging by the enthusiastic look in his eyes. “Because I would totally buy it for you if it’s a dildo you need. Or any sex toys, for that matter. No matter how expensive it is, I’ll pay! I’ll save up some money and buy some so we can use them together in the future!”

He’s making it look like he’s talking about buying a house for your future marriage and it’s cute and disgusting at the same time so you stop him by pinching the bridge of his nose. It’s pathetic, the way he whines, but as long as it can stop him from sputtering nonsense, you’ll do it again.

“Why do you need make-up anyway?” He eventually gives up, rubbing his red nose, still wincing from the pain. “You’re already pretty without it.” And it really does sound sincere, the way he says it. Haechan flirts a lot, even when you’ve been together for months, he still does it pretty often. But he does have his sincerity from time to time, just like now, and you can’t help but blush a little because of it.

“Well, I’m more confident with it.”

“Well, of course, you do look smoking hot with your make-up on, don’t get me wrong,” he adds, lazily circling his arms around your waist as he leans his back to the car’s seat. “But you’re beautiful the way you are too. Like, you literally can wear that I woke up like this shirt every morning and you won’t find me complaining.”

“You complained about my morning breath this morning.”

“That you should work on.”

“Asshole.” You push a palm against his face, which he licks playfully like a dog. This is your favorite Haechan, if you have to be honest, with his lips pulled back showcasing a boyish grin, his eyes sparkling as he gazes at you, and his voice sounding light and airy with a hint of teasing in his words. And of course, also with the way he has his hair slightly pushed back, his forehead shown and his eyebrows raised whenever he throws flirty lines at you.

You really should consider yourself lucky to be able to call someone like him, who has the perfect balance of cute and sexy, as your boyfriend.

“I really like you,” you say, abruptly out of nowhere that it surprises you too. Haechan’s laughter stops almost immediately, his eyes searching yours. There’s silence hanging in the air, slowly suffocating you, and you’re about to beg him to say something when he smiles, so gentle and soft, with his hand reaching up to cup your cheek, rubbing comforting circles with his thumb.

“I really like you too,” he says, almost like he’s sighing. His eyes go up-and-down your face, switching from your eyes and your lips. “I like you so much that it drives me crazy sometimes.”

It’s insane how fast he can turn your steady heart rate into something that beats too loudly for your ears. “Okay, stop right there. I can’t with all this cheesiness you’re throwing at me. Let’s just make-out.”

And that sexy smirk of his grows back almost immediately. “I won’t argue with that.”

***

It’s not easy getting a job these days, especially when you don’t really have a set of skills you can be proud of but luckily enough, you’ve found a part-time job as a waiter at a family restaurant nearby. The salary is slightly below your expectation so maybe you have to recalculate your budgeting again but beggars can’t be choosers. You thought it should be enough for now. And the most important thing is, you only have to work three days a week so you can fit in well with your campus’ schedule.

The only remaining problem is your boyfriend because, believe it or not, he demands more time than all of your classes and assignments combined.

“I can’t believe we have our Netflix account renewed like two months ago and yet we haven’t watched anything on it,” Haechan complains, a bag of popcorn on his lap. He’s in his black sweat pants, hair all tousled from lying around on the bed all day. He’s already munching more than he should, even way before you can log in to your Netflix account. “At this point, we’re just throwing our money away.”

“Don’t blame me,” you retort, taking the bowl into your arms so you can climb into his lap, snuggling close to his chest. “I’m not the one who got my dick hard during the first half of literally every movie we decided to watch together.”

“You literally rubbed your ass against my crotch every single time. What a man gotta do in that situation?”

A smile creeps up your face. That you certainly did. It’s just so funny to have him flinch every now and then whenever you move slightly in his arms so you often just exaggerate your movements a bit, sometimes leaning forward in a suggestive way whenever you tried to change the brightness of your MacBook screen—so Haechan could take a good look of your ass—before settling back between his legs, making sure to give him enough friction as you slid down. Or sometimes you just laid your head on his shoulder, pressing a random kiss to his neck, and just went back to watching the screen as if you didn’t do anything. It really didn’t take long before Haechan groaned in exasperation, threw the bowl away, tackled you down to the bed, and pulled your shorts down your legs.

“Should I move away then?” You offer. “We can stay, like, five feet apart from each other as we watch this.”

“Nah.” He shakes his head, pulling you closer again to his chest. “I like to snuggle. You’re warm and you smell really good, it comforts me. Besides, having sex with you is so much better than watching every movie out there.”

“Even better than watching The Kissing Booth?”

“Yah!” The way his cheeks turn scarlet almost immediately is too cute for you to handle. “You promised you wouldn’t make fun of me! See, this is why I—”

You cut him off with a chaste kiss, letting your lips linger on his the way he likes it before you pull away and pat him on the cheek. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it. Forgive me?”

Haechan unconsciously juts his lower lip out, just a little. “Fine,” he mutters, wrapping his arms tighter around your waist before he skims his nose along the nape of your neck. “Only because you’re cute,” he whispers.

“Oh right, that reminds me,” you say, closing your eyes as you listen to his breathing. It’s somewhat calming your nerves, after a long day of doing… well, nothing, actually. “I’ll be busy every Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday from now on so we won’t be able to hang out during those days.”

“What?!” He shrieks, almost turning you deaf. “Why?!”

“Because I have my part-time job, didn’t I tell you that before?” You can honestly hear your ears ringing from the loudness of his voice. “Or did you not listen to me again?”

“I can handle it if you work during the weekdays, but on the weekends too?” He’s actually looking pretty upset, though not that you haven’t expected him to be. “That’s our time! How can you do that to me? To us?! This is so not fair!”

You roll your eyes. “Stop being a drama queen. You literally spent the last weekend playing Overwatch at Jaemin’s place.”

“Whoa, hey,” he crows, pulling away from you with both hands raised in the air and forcing you to turn and look at him in the eyes. You do it as you nonchalantly munch on your popcorn, enjoying how dramatic your boyfriend can be at times like this. “Once again, lady,” he stresses on the word, narrowing his eyes at you. “They were holding a very, very important Anniversary Event and that does not happen every day. It’s not like I have any other choice! They were giving out new skins and other rewards!”

“Your choice was to spend your Saturday night with your fingers on your keyboard or in me. That was your choice.”

Haechan opens his mouth to say something, already holding out one finger in the air as if he’s about to make a good excuse but he fails almost immediately when your point begins to sink in his head. “You’re right,” he admits, “I’m sorry. What was I thinking? I should’ve been wiser.”

You pat his hair as you would do to a child. “Look, we can still hang out. I only work during the day, you know. You can always pick me up after work and we can get dinner together or something.”

He pouts, lowering his head as he murmurs, “It’s still not the same, though. I like spending time with you.”

You can feel your heart flutter from the way he says his line so genuinely. “Me too, Haechannie. Let’s just promise to always meet up on the weekends after I’m done with my work.”

The pout still does not falter away but it’s nothing a kiss can’t fix.

***

“Haechannie, I really need to go.” You struggle to slip yourself away from his long arms, holding back a laugh as you do it, and you almost reach the end of his bed but your boyfriend easily hooks an arm around your waist and pulls you back into his chest.

After not seeing each other for five days, you could finally see your boyfriend with his dazzling bright smile in person when he picked you up after work on a Saturday evening. You didn’t realize how much you’d missed him until he snatched you back into his embrace, intoxicating you with his amazing scent and airy laughter that sounds like music to your ears. It was a good thing being separated for a few days like that because Haechan became much more clingy in the most adorable way, following you around like a lovesick puppy. Even during sex, he was all giggly and soft, gently asking you how you feel, whether he was being too fast, or simply just telling you how beautiful you look even when you were pretty much exhausted from work. It was a nice change.

Both of you are still pretty much naked from the morning shower you just took together—or rather, the morning shower you took when suddenly your boyfriend came barging in, greasily saying, “My, my, there’s a naked lady in my shower. This must be my lucky day,” and ended up moaning against your mouth instead of washing the soap off your body.

“I’m not done with you yet,” he says, smiling into the kiss just like you do and you let him part your lips with his, slowly slipping his tongue in and tasting the roof of your mouth. “Oh man, I must be a freak for being so turned on from the fact that you’re wearing my shampoo.”

“You’ve always been a freak,” you snicker, pushing his face away with your palm. “Now, get off me. Jaemin can come back any second.”

“Jaemin’s too busy sucking Jeno’s morning wood, I’m sure. He won’t be back anytime soon.”

“Well, my shift is starting in thirty minutes.”

“Which leaves us twenty-nine minutes and fifty seconds to get each other off and ten seconds for you to get ready.” He lowly chuckles, his voice still sounding quite deep from sleep as he nips against the column of your neck.

“I’m serious…” You can tell that your voice becomes way less convincing. It’s just Haechan feels so warm and he smells so good, you have to literally offer your best effort to deny him and his touches. You’re still in the middle of putting in that so-called effort when you notice he’s sucking on the supple skin, to the point it begins to hurt a little bit. “Don’t suck too hard! You’ll leave bruises and I am not gonna wear a scarf again.”

“Good,” he murmurs against your skin. “So everyone will know you’re mine.”

“I’m serious.”

“So am I.”

You sigh, tangling your fingers around his hair, arching your back to press your body closer to him. “You can be too possessive sometimes, do you know that?”

“Any man would if their girlfriend is as pretty as you,” he replies, pulling away from you a little so he can bore his eyes into yours. “Stay with me today.”

As much as you want to, especially with that hooded eyes looking at you with so much passion and desire, you have to be the responsible adult for today. “I can’t, Haechannie.”

“Noona~” His serious demeanor falters, and the whiny brat that he is comes back to the surface again. “Pleaseeee~ I’m lonely and I’m hard, can’t you just be kind to me for just one day?”

“Are you using your aegyo on me to get a quickie? Seriously?”

“What, it’s not working?” He tilts his head to the side, looking at you with that sexy smirk and his eyebrow raised seductively. “I thought aegyo was your thing.”

No, but your goddamn smirk and eyebrow raise surely are. “Fuck, okay, ten minutes. Can we finish in ten minutes?”

“I can guarantee that you will.” His smirk grows wider, licking his lower lip. “But I’m not sure if you can make me.”

“Is that a challenge?” You push him with both hands until he falls back to the bed, with you straddling his lap. “I’m going to make you take your words back, Lee Donghyuck, you better be prepared.”

***

You’ve broken two plates so far, and you’re sure you’re about to be fired if you even do a tiny mistake in the next hour but you try to keep yourself calm and composed and promise yourself to do better. It’s not that you’re a lousy waiter—okay, maybe a bit from the lack of experience—but the restaurant you’re working in can be surprisingly packed during lunch hours and it’s really taking all that you have to carry three porcelain plates on a tray as you walk on high heels that are killing you in every step you take. You often complain about the blisters at the back of your heels when you sit next to Haechan in his car, which usually ends up with him massaging your feet, while mumbling, “See, this is why you should’ve agreed with me when I told you about buying dildos. I would work my ass off to pay for that, and you can just lie around in my room all day.”

You’re getting better at your job the more days go by, and you’re much confident now in talking with customers. You’re already standing pretty in your uniform with a menu book in your arms, ready to greet the next customer but when the front door opens, all of your professionalism just goes straight out of the window.

“No way…” Your jaw hangs loosely on your face, eyes blinking twice in surprise. You can’t believe what you’re seeing. There, walking through the entrance door of the restaurant, is your ex-boyfriend from high school, Jeong Jaehyun. Dressed perfectly in a light blue buttoned-up shirt and a pair of black khaki pants, Jaehyun looks much, much better than how you remembered him to be. His dark hair stands in contrast to his pale skin, his veins appearing along his wrists and you have to remind yourself to stop staring and proceed with your work.

You take hesitant steps to meet him, swallowing your nervous breath and hoping that you don’t look as awkward as you think. You almost trip on your own feet when you notice Jaehyun looking back at you, his eyes widening in surprise before his lips turn upward into that gentle smile that reminds you of how he used to be back in high school. Maybe some things never change.

“Hi,” you greet with an awkward smile on your face.

“Hey.” The way his eyes droop slightly when he sees you feels nostalgic, and perhaps he’s much taller now because you have to look up to meet his eyes. “I can’t believe I’m seeing you. It’s been a while.”

“You’re right,” you reply, chuckling a little to mask how tense you really are. “Would you like me to take you to your seat?”

“Oh no, I won’t be long,” he says, running a hand through his hair. “I just wanted to talk to the manager for a sec.”

You furrow your eyebrows, trying your best not to get distracted with the way his hair ruffles almost perfectly under his touch. “Is there something wrong?”

“No, just wanted to see the latest financial report.” He smiles, showcasing his teeth. “My grandfather owns this place, and I’m helping him take care of the business while he’s overseas.”

Fuck. “A-ah, is that so?” Meeting him once as a customer is already painfully awkward enough for you to bear, but actually working for him?!

“I won’t bother you, I promise,” Jaehyun immediately adds, “I wasn’t aware that you work here, actually. Has it been long since you started?”

“About two weeks.” You fidget on your feet, having the hardest time making eye contact with him. “And I’m not very good at this.”

“Wait, are you the one who keeps breaking plates?”

You wince. “Yes. Can you please not fire me? I’ll pay for them, I promise.”

And Jaehyun laughs, his deep voice booming into the air. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll pay for them myself if that’s what it takes to keep you around.” He says his lines so naturally that it surprises you both when the words finally sink in. “I—I mean,” he clears his throat, “It’s just really been a while since I last saw you so I thought we should really catch up on things. How are you?”

“I’m—”

“Boss,” your manager suddenly comes to interrupt, carrying some paper sheets in her arms. “These are the reports you wanted. I can e-mail you the rest if you need more details.” And when she sees you standing next to Jaehyun with the worst looking smile you’ve ever had on your face, she squints her eyes menacingly at you, “What did you do this time?”

“She didn’t do anything,” Jaehyun hastily answers before you can even form a word of protest. “She’s a dear friend of mine. It’s been a while since we talked, so do you mind if I borrow her for a while?”

Your manager seems utterly shocked and you kind of dance happily in your mind because she’s been kind of mean to you—though you were the one who gave her the reasons to be—and seeing her speechless, only able to mumble out a small, “S-sure,” before she trails away back to her office like this becomes the highlight of your day.

“Thank you,” you say to him, not sure why but it feels right.

“Let me know if she bullies you again,” he says, gently patting you on the head and you can feel his fingers slowly brush your bangs off your temple. It seems like he’s unaware of what he’s doing and you can understand why because that’s just his habit, even from the time when you hadn’t started dating yet. You remember the time when he said he liked your eyes—he thought they were beautiful, and hiding them under your bangs like that was a shame.

You take a step back, looking anywhere but his eyes. “Umm…”

“Right, sorry,” he fumbles with his hands, the tip of his ears growing red. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Can we just sit and talk?”

You smile, genuinely this time. He really hasn’t changed despite his appearance. “Sure.”

***

Jaehyun doesn’t visit the restaurant every day and you don’t really expect him to, but when he does, he always spares some time to talk to you privately—usually during your break time so your manager can stop throwing ice daggers from her eyes at you.

“I’ve tried to call you after graduation,” he confesses as he takes you out for some coffee at the nearest cafe. Your shift is over and you’re waiting for Haechan to pick you up but he’s running late because he has to take a quiz that he missed from skipping the class the previous week—you guess it had something to do with him pulling an all-nighter playing Overwatch again—and you told him to take his time.

“You did?”

“Yeah. Several times, actually, but I couldn’t get connected.”

“Maybe you called after I lost my phone,” you reply, taking a sip of your hot latte and wincing when it nearly scalds your tongue. “I had to change my number. I lost my contacts and everything.”

“That makes sense. Would it be okay if I ask for your numbers now?”

“Only for business purposes,” you tease, and he grins back, almost boyishly.

“Only for business purposes,” he confirms, “Just so I can give you a heads-up when I’m about to fire you.”

You gasp, half-amused, half-terrified. “Please tell me you’re joking.” And he only responds with another laugh. Talking with Jaehyun is easy and comforting, and he really listens to what you’re saying like a loving older brother taking care of his sister. It’s a nice change considering it’s always you who have to act like the mature one when having a conversation with Haechan—not that it isn’t good. It just can get quite tiring after some time.

Jaehyun is in the middle of walking you back to your workplace when he tells you stories about the things he did after graduation, and how he’s planning to continue with his study overseas to get a master’s degree in business management as soon as he’s done with his work here. You’re so entranced with his story that you barely notice your boyfriend waiting with his back pressed against the side of his car, eyes busy staring at his phone screen.

“Haechannie, you’re here!” You run to his spot, a grin spreading wide on your face before you lean up and kiss his cheek.“When did you get here?”

“Noonaaaaa,” he pouts, voice becoming whiny as usual. Compared to how he acts, he’s dressed maturely in a white shirt and a black leather jacket, his silver necklace hanging low on his neck. It takes you a good five seconds to ogle at his amazing looks while telling your heart not to get too excited. At least not until you get back at the dorm so you can rip that shirt off him with your own hands. “I’ve been calling you three times already. Where have you been?”

“You have?” You immediately check on your phone, noticing that yes, in fact, he did call you three times. You didn’t notice before because your phone was on silent. “I’m sorry, I forgot to switch it back after work. Did you wait long?”

“A bit,” he pushes his bottom lip out but it soon turns into a cheeky grin. “But nothing a kiss can’t fix.”

“Haechannie.” You pat him softly on his cheek. “We’ve got company.” And at that, he begins to widen his line of sight—because he usually just focuses on you and forgets his surroundings—and spots Jaehyun standing a few meters behind you with his hands buried deep within the pockets of his pants.

“Oh,” he comments, acting nonchalant though you notice by the slight raise of his eyebrow that he’s already annoyed by his presence. “Who are you?”

It’s kind of rude to suddenly ask for his name, especially in the cold tone Haechan is using and Jaehyun’s lips twitch at his words. “Jeong Jaehyun.”

“Well, Jeong Jaehyun,” Haechan says with mockery on his tone, straightening his posture and you wonder whether it’s because he feels slightly inferior to Jaehyun’s height. “My girlfriend and I would like some privacy from now on, so if you can just run along now, that’d be great.”

“Hey!” You slap his shoulder, gasping in disbelief before you turn around to face the other man. “I’m sorry, he can be quite rude sometimes but I’m sure he didn’t mean it.”

“Meant it with all my heart.”

“Be quiet.” And even Haechan can tell for his own good that he shouldn’t push your buttons further than that.

“It’s okay, I have to go anyway,” Jaehyun casually says, smiling angelically like how he always does though his eyes don’t really play along. “Your boyfriend is cute. How old are you? Does your mom know you’re still playing outside at this hour?”

Oh my God, not you too. You immediately grab Haechan’s hand to stop him before he flings himself forward and throws an arm toward the other man. You can see him clenching his jaw, almost baring his teeth when Jaehyun laughs quietly to himself, saying, “I’m just kidding. Have a good night, you two,” before he walks back to the restaurant, most likely to have another business talk with the manager.

“Who the fuck does he think he is?” Haechan blurts out, his eyebrows knitted together in annoyance. You stroke his arm, trying to soothe him down but what he does is relocating his glare on you instead, almost yelling, “Why were you with him? How many times have you guys seen each other? And why on earth did you take his side?!”

You’re too tired to care, to be honest, let alone answering him. You’re also suffering from the cold of the night, wanting desperately to climb into Haechan’s car and put on the heater to warm yourself up. “I’ll explain on our way back,” you sniffle, squeezing his hand. “Can we get inside the car? Please? I’m freezing.”

You can tell he’s still very much upset but his gaze softens when he sees puffs of air flowing from your chapped lips and your nose turning red. He sighs into the air but opens the door for you. He doesn’t really talk until he has his engine started, and you can practically see steam coming out from his ears as he drives into the night.

“Have you had dinner yet?” You ask, trying to keep as casual as you can.

“No.”

“Should we order something—”

“I’m not hungry.”

“O… kay…” You hold yourself back from sighing too loud. He’s testing your patience again, but it’s fine, you’re the mature one. You can handle this. “We’ll just go straight back to my place then. I’m sure I can make you something. I think I still have some pasta with—”

“I think I’m just gonna go back to my room right after I drop you off.” His words don’t hurt as much as the tone he’s using. You’re trying to patch things up even though you’re sure you haven’t done anything wrong but he’s not even trying to apologize about how rude he acted earlier. You can’t help but snap, probably because your fatigue is taking its toll. You figure you can act mature any other time, but not today.

“Okay, what is wrong with you?” You can feel your voice rising and it forces him to sneaks a glance at you but only for a split second before he brings back his eyes on the road again. “I’ve been trying to be nice to you but you keep on acting like a brat—”

“Oh, of course, now you have a problem with me being a brat.” He grits his teeth, sinking his nails into the steering wheel. “I think we both know that’s pretty much how I act around you—around anyone, really—and if I remember it clearly, you said being a brat was part of my charm. That was, of course, before you met this oh-so-mature Jung fucking Jaehyun and suddenly, now, I’m fucking annoying.”

“I didn’t just meet him, Hyuck.” You exhale loudly, rolling your eyes. “I’ve been friends with him since high school.”

He clicks his tongue in aggravation, quietly adding, “Friends that fucked each other whenever your parents weren’t around, I’m sure.” And he probably didn’t mean his words to be heard because he just said them out of spite, but you did hear him and it makes your blood sparks in fury.

“Actually, yes,” you jeer back, “We did. He was the one who took my virginity away, just so you know and—WHOA!”

The sudden turn of the wheels makes you yelp and scramble to wrap your fingers tightly around your seatbelt as if you were hanging for dear life, and Haechan suddenly stomps his feet on the brakes, messily parking his car on the side of the street and earning a lot of angry car honks from the drivers behind him in return.

“What?!” He shouts, eyes wide, completely ignoring the passerby or the fact that you’re still trying to catch your breath. “You had sex with him?!”

“Once, Donghyuck, Jesus Christ!” You almost yank every strand of your hair out of your head. “Just once! And I never did that with anyone else until I met you!”

“I can’t believe you never told me this! And now you just hang around with him behind my back?!”

“What’s there to tell?! It’s in the past, way back when I didn’t even know your name. It’s not like you tell me things like this too. I don’t have problems with you sleeping with hundreds of girls before you met me.”

The sudden silence that surrounds you snap you back to reality and you regret everything you just said because you know you didn’t mean it. Well, it certainly has been bugging you for quite some time whenever you think about how easy and casual he’s always been when it comes to sex—not to mention how experienced he is—so you can’t help but wonder. You do understand that it’s not fair blurting about it to him like this, though. Especially not in this situation.

And the way he just suddenly becomes mute almost makes you shudder.

“Hyuck, I didn’t mean—”

“So that’s how you think of me?” He asks, voice low and deep. “Is that the reason why you’re seeing him? Because you don’t trust me?”

“Oh my God, Donghyuck,” you almost scream from all this frustration you’re venting out. “This is getting out of hand. Okay, first, that was wrong of me to say that and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean any of it. And second, stop being so jealous—I was only out with him to get some coffee. We no longer have feelings for each other, I can assure you that.”

“Yeah,” he snorts, “Sure. Whatever.”

“Hyuck, he’s my boss! I was just being polite—”

“Well, that’s just fucking great, isn’t it? No wonder you keep insisting on taking this job. It’s not even about the money now, is it?” He slams his hand against the steering wheel, groaning out, “I’m so fucking stupid,” before he throws his head to the side, glaring at the scenery outside his window instead of you.

There’s silence hanging in the air again and you take a deep breath to calm yourself as much as you can because you know where this is going. You just hope you’re wrong. “Why does it sound like you’re accusing me of cheating on you?”

“Because maybe deep down, that’s what you’re doing?” He’s not even looking at you when he says it, but the bitterness in his voice is clear and it’s loud enough to finally tweak the final string of patience you have left in you.

So you grab your purse, carry your jacket in one arm and step down from the car. “I’m taking a cab,” you say and when he still doesn’t look at you, you add, “Come talk to me when you’re mature enough to have this conversation.”

And not knowing your own strength, you slam the door until his ears begin to ring.

***

It’s the worst fight you’ve ever had, not just with him but with anyone else too. You’re more the type that avoids situations like this—one that says sorry even when you know you’re not doing anything wrong just to reduce the tension, so this fight you’re having with Haechan has been ruining your mood for a whole damn week since day one. And the fact that he doesn’t come to apologize or even send a text or two is driving you insane.

You can’t help but to dwell in his way of thinking, trying to see whether it’s really your fault that this is happening. Yes, maybe you should’ve explained better, but he wasn’t really giving you the chance to do it, was he? And yes, maybe you should’ve told him about you hanging out with Jaehyun every now and then or the fact that he’s your boss but you just couldn’t find the right timing before. Well, it’s certainly too late to start now.

Should I call him…?

Because you miss him. You miss Haechan so badly. You miss his bratty smile, you miss his annoying whine, you miss his stupid dazzling smile, you miss his scent, his kiss, his embrace—everything about him. You didn’t realize how close he was to you—already becoming a big part of your life—and you just really notice it now when he’s completely out of your sight.

“Fuck this.” You’re in the middle of searching his name in your contacts and about to press dial when suddenly you get his message.

Can we meet tomorrow?

It’s really weird that a simple text can make your heart race and almost send you jumping in delight. Trying to keep your heart rate back to normal, you type back.

Of course. What time? Where?

You wait for his reply and it seems like the time suddenly slows down where seconds feel like hours. You nibble at your bottom lip, hesitating at first but sending it anyway.

I miss you, Haechannie.

Your heart starts hammering against your ribcage again. A lot of thoughts begin entering your mind at the same time, making you worry about what if he wants to meet me because he wants to break up with me? What if he doesn’t miss me and he’s grossed out with my text? What if—

His reply arrives with a slight ding coming from your phone, and with shaky hands, you open his text.

I’ll text you the time and place tomorrow morning.

There’s a disappointment that bubbles up inside your chest but the next text from him erases all of that almost instantly.

I miss you too, Noona. Good night.

And you think that maybe tonight, you can finally have a good sleep.

***

“Can you fill in for tonight?”

It’s the first thing your manager said to you the second you stepped inside the restaurant. You haven’t even taken your jacket yet, and it’s really rare to see your manager walking around the place on a Sunday morning but here she is, and she’s already ordering things around.

Your mouth suddenly feels dry. “Pardon?”

“There will be a banquet tonight for the Jeong family and we need every waiter we can get. I know you’re lousy at your job but Jaehyun-Sajangnim seems to like you so I hope you can stick longer for a few hours.”

“I…” You wet your lower lip anxiously. “I can’t. I already promised someone—”

“Look, this is not a request. It’s an order.” She seems like she’s running out of patience. “But I’ll pay handsomely for your time. I think you need the money to pay for those two plates you broke anyway. You know how expensive they are.”

You wince. “Yes, Ma’am.” It’s not like she’s leaving you with any other option. You figure you can call Haechan later during your break time. It’s still not confirmed anyway, your date with him. You’ll think of a way to make it up to him.

It’s only for a few hours anyway, right?

I’ll just text him now. You dip your hand into your purse, trying to find your iPhone as fast as you can. You run your fingers along the screen, typing letters with your thumbs.

Haechannie, something came up and I have to stay longer at work. I’ll see you later tonight at your place and we can talk then.

“What are you doing standing around like that?” Your manager suddenly shouts and you almost drop your phone in surprise. “Go and change your uniform now, we’re opening the place in ten minutes!”

“Y-yes, Ma’am!” You fumble with your steps, throwing your phone back into your purse in a hurry. You inwardly sigh. Today is going to be a long day.

I’m sorry, Haechannie.

***

“Great work today,” Jaehyun says when most of his family members have left the restaurant. You didn’t realize how big and wealthy his family was so it amazed you that one family could occupy the whole seatings they have in this place. There were more than thirty people in the room before and you had to change your high heels into a pair of flat shoes so you can run from one table to another while carrying several plates at once.

“Not really, I almost broke another plate today,” you respond with a sigh, which earns a low chuckle in return. Jaehyun has his back leaning against the wall just an arms reach away from the front door, waiting for you to finish shoving all your belongings into your bag before he curls his fingers around the doorknob and twists it open.

“Thanks,” you say, almost sheepishly because it looks weird, no matter how you see it—your boss is opening the door for you. “Stop being so nice, Jae, you’re making other staff jealous.”

“But I do this to all my staff,” Jaehyun snickers, following after your trail.

“Yeah, sure.”

“Hey,” he calls, placing his hand on your shoulder so you’ll stop on your track and turn around to face him. “Thank you.”

You raise your eyebrow questioningly. “For what?”

“For acting like how you normally do around me,” he explains, smiling a little bit bashfully. “For not being so awkward after our break-up.”

“Oh… Well…” You try to focus your gaze somewhere else, suddenly finding the silver watch you wear around your wrist entertaining. “It’s been years since then, I think we both have moved on by now, right?”

There’s a thick tension growing between the two of you and you almost beg him to say something before it starts to suffocate you.

“Sure,” he says, but the pressure in his tone speaks otherwise. You look up to meet his eyes, expecting him to smile and bring another topic into the conversation, but all he does is just gazing at you with these gentle, almost longing eyes that make your heart stops for a split second.

You know this can’t go any further.

“Well, uhh,” Jaehyun clears his throat, running a hand through his hair, perhaps feeling rather embarrassed himself. “It’s already late. Do you want me to escort you back to your place?”

And you find it hard to form a sentence, still somewhat baffled from the way he’s acting around you, and you’re so unfocused that when another voice enters your hearing, it shocks you down to your spine.

“I’ll be taking her from here,” Haechan says, startling you both and you turn around so fast on your heel to face him that you almost stumble forward. Your boyfriend is standing with one hand carrying a black suit and another one digging inside the pocket of his pants, dressed nicely in a white buttoned up with sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He has the top two buttons of his shirt loosened, showing a glimpse of his collar bones and the silver necklace he usually hangs around his neck. His short brown hair is parted to the side, slightly pushed back to showcase his temple. You’ve never seen him dressed so sharp and elegantly before since the first day you met him and you can’t help but feel a little bit starstruck from the way he looks. But you soon realize that there must be a reason why he’s so dressed up and you feel terrible because you don’t know what it is.

What day is it today?

“Haechan—”

The way he grabs your hand shows how agitated he actually is despite the calm facade he places on his face, and it’s glaringly possessive the way he drags you to match his step on the way to his car but you follow him without a word, not even sparing a glance at Jaehyun who’s looking at him as if he just stole something important from him. Haechan opens the door to the passenger seat, and you climb in with your heart thrumming loud against your chest.

Haechan walks to the other side without making eye contact with Jaehyun but even at that point, your ex-boyfriend doesn’t dare to say a word or make a move, probably because he knows he has no right to do so. Haechan does not look angry and neither does he act like it but the quietness that fills the space between you, even when his car engine is blaring noisily outside, speaks louder than everything that he does.

“Umm.” You suddenly feel parched, your throat burning with every word you try to form. “T-thank you for picking me up.” You’re about to flinch from how terrible you just sounded. “I thought you were waiting at the dorm. Didn’t you get my text?”

It takes a few seconds that feel like forever for him to answer. “I don’t know, did you send me one?” He simply asks, voice flat and nonchalant, as he switches the gears of his car.

Did I not? You gulp in horror and begin to frantically search for your phone in your purse. Your heart almost leaps out from your chest when you see your phone is dead, probably ran out of battery sometimes during your hectic hours. You didn’t check on it before because you thought that Haechan most likely had seen your text and was waiting for you at the dorm, so you decided to just run in a hurry without texting him that your shift had ended. You were also busy talking with Jaehyun and felt it wouldn’t be polite for you to check on your phone while he was around.

But, as you connect your phone to your power bank, turning it on, and run your thumbs along the screen, you notice one thing: you didn’t send him anything.

“I’m—” A shiver runs down your spine. “I’m sure I texted you before—why—” You remember how your manager suddenly interrupted you when you were about to send the text. You must have forgotten to press send, and seeing how there are suddenly a lot of messages coming to your phone at once from him makes your heart drop to the floor.

I’ve made a reservation at Boccalino at 7 p.m. I know how you’ve always wanted to go there. Wear something nice.

Where are you now? Are you still at work? Do you want me to pick you up?

You’re probably busy at work. I’ll just see you at our table, okay? Don’t be late.

I haven’t heard from you. Where are you? I’m on my way to the restaurant to make sure our reservation is still on.

All my calls are going straight to voicemails. Where are you?

You’re an hour late. Where are you?!

You can feel the tremble in your fingertips as you hold your phone, your eyes running back and forth in horror. Haechan still doesn’t speak a word, focusing his eyes entirely on the road that lays in front of him.

“I’m… I’m sorry.” Even though you know you’re already so out of line and probably won’t be forgiven anytime soon, you still apologize because what else can you say? “I didn’t realize my phone was dead. And I was sure I’d texted you but—”

“It’s fine,” he says as he props his elbow against his window, rubbing the side of his temple with his fingertips. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

And with that, the conversation ends. Your thoughts are running fast, trying to come up with a better apology or find a way to patch things up but you can’t. The more plans you make, the more you hate yourself for being so stupid and ruin this whole thing for him. The drive back to your dorm is filled with nothing but silence, and you spend the entire time counting the street light that glows faintly on the side of the road.

You do notice something, though. Haechan’s phone keeps on making little sounds, notifying him that he’s receiving text messages and chats. There was also a phone call which he ignored even when the street light was red, only saying, “I’ll just call back later,” when you nervously ask him about it.

It’s when he walks you back to your dorm, that you begin to gain the courage to ask about it. “You’re getting awfully a lot of texts today.”

“They just want to congratulate me,” he says, tucking his hands in his pockets so you can’t take a hold of any of them as you walk beside him.

“On what?”

“My birthday.”

You wish the earth could just swallow you whole because how fucking ignorantly stupid can you be? It’s the sixth of June today, and you were so busy dealing with the fight and minding your own business that you forgot the birthday of the most important person in your life right now. You can feel how your legs almost give out under your weight, your head’s spinning.

And apparently, you’re doing it again, so lost in your own thoughts that Haechan has to say, “We’re here,” to snap you back to reality. You’re now standing gawkily in front of the door to your room, palms getting sweaty from how nervous you are. Haechan murmurs something about seeing you later and you’re about to burst into tears from how terrible you feel for him so you hastily grab him by his wrist, fingers almost sinking into his skin from how desperate you’re being.

“Stay with me,” you beg with quivers in your voice. “Please, just—I need to talk to you.”

Haechan stares at you with cold eyes, his jaw clenching slightly. But he doesn’t pull back his arm and follows your trail with heavy steps as you step inside your room. He closes the door behind him and leans his back against it, still not saying anything.

You’re so occupied with trying to form a coherent sentence that you forget to be thankful about how your roommate is away for the weekend again, providing you the opportunity to have the entire room for yourself. You decide to not make any excuses and apologize for every little dumb thing you’ve been doing for the whole day—no, for a whole week even, since the time your fight started. But no matter what you say, Haechan is staring at you with lifeless eyes, as if he’s just too tired to listen—as if he just no longer cares.

And that scares the life out of you.

“Hyuck, please,” you whisper, closing the distance between you until you can feel his warm breath caressing your cheek. You have your palm pressing against the side of his face, “Say something.” You know it’s not right, but you lean in for a kiss. It’s not just because you’re desperate to pull an emotion out of him; it’s more because you miss him so terribly so, it’s driving you crazy.

Haechan has his eyes closed by instinct but he doesn’t kiss back, only letting your lips linger on him, sharing his breath. And though it feels like there’s a javelin slowly sinking into your chest, you try again, kissing him with more passion, hooking your arm around his neck to pull him closer. Haechan tears himself away, his gaze turning dark as he stares at you and you look at him back with desperation in your eyes.

“Haecha—”

It’s like something snaps inside him and he suddenly no longer has control over his own free will, because Haechan is now pushing your body against the door, slamming your spine against the surface none too gently with his hands on each side of your head, lips chasing after yours. You let out a gasp, both from the shock and the pain that stings from the back of your head, and he takes the opportunity to kiss you deeper, tongue delving in to explore the inside of your mouth. His fingers trail down from your cheeks to your jaw, before they rest on the sides of your neck, his fingertips probing against your veins. You’re not sure whether he does it unconsciously from the sheer excitement or something else but the way his hand is holding you by the neck, his fingers low key choking you make your adrenaline runs faster.

He doesn’t give you the chance to process every single thing that’s happening, or even breathe, for that matter. The next thing you know, he already has his hands running down to your thighs, pulling them up so you have no other choice but to tangle your legs around his waist and groan when he presses your hips together. Hearing the sound of his name tumbling down your lips in a desperate, needy moan, Haechan groans at the back of his throat, his hands moving up to palm your breasts before they start to struggle with your shirt.

You’re doing the same thing, just as eager to get him out of his white shirt so you can latch your lips on his smooth sun-kissed skin. But unlike you who struggle to unbutton his shirt one by one, Haechan’s patience is wearing thin so he ends up just ripping your uniform, buttons clattering down to the floor.

“Wait, Hyuck—” You’re forced to swallow whatever it is you’re trying to say when Haechan sinks his teeth down to the skin that connects your neck to your shoulder, pushing the fabric of your shirt down to expose more of your bare skin. Your whole body shudders, clutching to him with every strength you have. It hurts, the way he bites and nibbles along your sensitive skin, but at the same time, it sends electricity down to every inch of your body.

“Do you have any idea how fucking pissed I am right now?” He says in a low, dangerous voice as he gnaws around your earlobe. “Turn around.”

With his nails sinking into your hips, he forces you to turn on your heel, pressing the side of your face against the door and tears your shirt away from your body. He doesn’t immediately take off your bra like he usually does, and instead focusing first on slipping his fingers underneath the band, thumbs glossing over your hardened nipples as he applies wet kisses on your nape. You almost let out a sob when his hand travels south, raking his fingers against your stomach before he takes off your skirt in such a hurry, leaving you in nothing but your black stockings and your laced panties.

Your entire body jolts when he slips a hand between your legs, rubbing you over your underwear before he suddenly pushes the fabric down and runs his fingertips along your folds.

“You’re so fucking wet,” he whispers in your ear, his breath fanning your neck. “I’m surprised you like being treated like this.” But when you cry out his name, begging for him to stop teasing you already, he chuckles lowly. “I should’ve done this sooner.”

You’re sure that you’re just reacting this way because it’s him and not anybody else and you want to tell him that but you can barely form a word with him rubbing his fingertips along your clit. “You’re actually quite dirty, aren’t you?” He brings two of his fingers to your lips, forcing you to suck them into your mouth and you oblige, knowing what he’s intending to do. You coat them with as much saliva as you can before he brings his hand down to your heat again, this time inserting one finger into your entrance with another one following soon after.

You hiss his name under your breath, becoming a little lightheaded from all this sensation you’re having at once. “What do you want me to do?” He asks tauntingly, knowing he’s in charge of everything.

“Fuck me,” you gasp, eyes tightly shut at the feeling of him finger fucking you to oblivion. “I want you inside me, Hyuck, fuck.”

“Maybe in a few minutes.” His teasing tone is back but it’s different. It’s almost menacing this time, somewhat heartless. He picks up the pace, pumping his fingers in and out of you until you find yourself biting your lip to contain your sob. “Do you know what I want?” He carves his words against your skin, taking a handful of your hair with his other free hand and yanking it back so you can’t help but face the ceiling. His lips are hovering dangerously close against your ear. “I want to fuck you raw. We’ve never done that before, have we? I want to come inside you—want to see my cum dripping down your thighs when I’m finished with you.”

Fuck. You almost cry from the temptation. “Then do it. I don’t care just—” You arch your back, sinking yourself down to his fingers, moaning against the side of his neck. “Please, just fuck me, Hyuck.”

“Good girl,” he replies and you can hear the smirk in his voice but you don’t care. He can be as cocky as he wants for the night because you secretly like it. You like how confident he is during sex, how passionate and sexy he can get, and how desperate and uncontrolled he becomes at the end. You can feel your stomach flip at the anticipation, especially when you hear him working on his belt, unbuttoning his pants and pulling them down only low enough for him to free himself.

“Let me fuck your mouth first,” he demands and you find yourself succumbing to his orders, turning around to face him before you drop to your knees, the tip of his cock protruding against your lips.

Haechan is still holding himself back, you’re sure, because he lets you take your own pace at first but his dominating persona comes back almost immediately when you only give him tentative licks against his slit. “Open up,” he orders, his fingers finding home in your hair and you loosen up your jaw to take him deeper.

Tears begin to form in the corner of your eyes from how hard he’s hitting the back of your throat but you try to keep up. He moves his hips, enjoying the warmth of your mouth. When you feel him twisting his fingers around the strands of your hair, you look up to see his expression. Haechan has his head thrown back in pleasure, his lips parted in a silent moan and you hum proudly to yourself when he brings his eyes down to meet yours. They’re glazed with lust and he’s so sexy like this with his breathing ragged, soft moans flowing like music to your ears. And he’s probably feeling the same about you, from the way he pushes the bangs out of your eyes, taking every detail of your face as you hollow your cheeks, swallowing when his taste falls upon your tongue.

“Fuck,” he hisses under his breath, “You look so perfect like this. You’re so fucking sexy, do you know that?” You hum, running your tongue along the prominent vein, giving kitten licks around the tip. Something gleams in his eyes and suddenly he commands you to stand up and pushes your body against the wall again, face first.

“Do you know how excited I was for today?” He grabs you by the waist, pushing his palm against your shoulder blades so you’ll bend lower, and positions himself against your entrance from behind. “I wanted to celebrate my birthday with you—just with you, Noona—even after our fight, I still wanted to spend it with you—”

“I know,” you gasp, thighs trembling when he rubs his tip against your folds. “I’m sorry—I was too busy with—“

“With work?” He taunts, “Or with that guy you’ve been seeing?”

“No—” A sudden yelp flows out of your mouth when he abruptly pushes himself entirely inside of you in one quick motion, his nails digging into the skin of your hips. Haechan moans a tad louder, much breathier, with his eyebrows knitted together in ecstasy. He’s more sensitive now since he’s not using a condom, directly feeling how wet and hot you are around him, how every clench makes him lose his mind and you can feel him twitching inside you. “Haechan—wait—”

He thrusts forward with such brute force, you find yourself pressed against the door. The dorm is quiet and with the way he’s slamming his hips against yours, the door making rhythmic banging noises against its frames, you’re sure you’re going to be noticed sooner or later.

“The bed—” You gasp, searching for the hands he has on your hips. “Let’s move to the bed—”

“Later,” he groans, his mind sinking in the way your heat is enveloping him.

“People can—” You have your eyes tightly shut when his thrusts get stronger. “They can hear us, Hyuck—”

He tangles his hand around your locks, making a messy ponytail out of them so he can yank on your hair as he rocks his hips faster. “I don’t fucking care,” he growls, “Let everyone know you’re mine.”

It feels fucking amazing the way he’s all breathless and rough, fucking you senselessly as if the world is ending, and it’s not long before your legs start to give up on you, quivering under the sensation.

“Fuck,” Haechan takes a sharp intake of breath, pulling you back against him when you’re about to fall. “Tired already, babe?” His chuckles are unfamiliar to your ears, as if he was mocking instead of teasing but you can’t really comment on it because he’s now pushing you down to the floor, forcing you to stay on all fours. “Now, now, what do we do?” He asks, spreading your thighs but holds your ass firmly in the air. “I’m just getting started.”

Every thrust of his hip feels like fire running all over your body and you can’t believe how good he is at hitting that particular spot deep inside you. You bite your lower lip to keep your voice down and Haechan notices it so he leans close, his chest pressing against your spine and you feel his lips and teeth caressing the crook of your neck as he speaks.

“Stop holding back your voice.” His voice sounds sultry, almost sinful to your ears. “I’ve told you before, right? I like hearing you say my name when we do this. Let me hear you moan.”

You shake your head. “I don’t want anyone to hear—“

“Well,” he doesn’t even let you finish. “I guess I’ll just have to force it out of you then.”

He slows down his pace, and instead of giving you fast, shallow thrusts, he focuses his strength on making each thrust hard and deep. You can feel your breathing being knocked out of your lungs, your toes curling in pleasure and if he keeps doing this, you know you’re not gonna last long. Your orgasm hits you so hard, a whimper falling from your mouth the way he likes it, and your body begins to shake.

Haechan laughs quietly against your ear. “You came, didn’t you? It feels so good—you feel so good around my cock.” He grabs you by the chin and roughly angles your head to face him. He kisses you hard, leaving you even more breathless than you already are before he says, “It’s my turn now.”

Haechan flips you to your back, spreading your legs wide as he sits on his knees, holding your ankles in the air like how he did the first time you had sex with him. Maybe it’s his favorite position, almost splitting your body in half, and seeing your face and your breasts bouncing up and down with every movement of his hips. You’re still dazed, reeling in the afterglow when Haechan pushes back into you again without warning, his eyes half-lidded in pleasure, his lips parted forming your name between his breathy moans.

“I’ll never get tired of how you look when I fuck you like this,” he says, smirking in the sexiest way you’ve ever seen him do. “You’re so goddamn irresistible, you know that?”

It’s frightening how different and rough he’s being right now, and you’re about to cry out because you miss him—you miss the way he used to be. The adorable, annoying little tease that he was. How can you bring him back?

“Haechannie,” you call out, voice soft and quiet almost in a whisper. “I love you.”

His movement stops almost immediately, his eyes widening in surprise. He locks his gaze back with yours, his grip on your legs becoming loose. “What?”

“I love you,” you repeat, placing your legs down so you can sit up from your position. Your back feels sore, screaming in pain but you try not to wince. You reach out to grab his face, running your thumb along his lower lip. “I love you, Lee Donghyuck.” You kiss him gently, merely pressing your lips against his and you can feel how his body stiffen under your touch. “So calm down, because I’m not going anywhere. I’ll always be with you, as long as you let me.”

Haechan is still very much speechless and you decide to take control. You carefully push him down so he can sit back on the floor before you climb into his lap. You kiss him again, tangling your fingers in his hair before you slide down, enveloping him once again. There’s a small moan escaping his lips, which you immediately capture with your own and his hands find their way back to your hips again.

“That’s not fair,” he says, his cheeks reddening slightly though he’s still scowling at you. “You’re just saying that so I won’t be angry with you anymore.”

“That too, but,” you’re interrupted by a moan that departs from your lips, can barely handle the way he twitches inside you. “I’ve been feeling that way for quite some time now. Especially when we fight. I just missed you so much, I couldn’t stand it.”

His pout is growing back on his face, though not as apparent. “Well, whose fault do you think is that?” It’s perfect, the way he moves inside you and it’s driving him crazy whenever you clench your walls around him.

“There’s nothing between me and Jaehyun, I promise you,” you softly murmur as you place open-mouthed kisses down his neck. “I’d never cheat on you, Hyuck. You know that, right?”

He shivers slightly under your touch, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. “Still,” he breathes out, “It doesn’t mean I’m fine with you meeting him behind my back.”

“He’s my boss, I wouldn’t be able to avoid him even if I wanted—” You have to end your sentence short when he rubs his thumb against your clit, reeling in the sensation. “Hyuck, you’re going to make me come again at this rate.”

“Good, because I intend to make you come at least three times tonight.” He snickers against your lips. “So you won’t be able to forget who owns you.”

His movements become sloppy, going out of rhythm, even more desperate with each thrust and when you whisper with his earlobe between your teeth, “Happy birthday, baby,” he comes undone almost immediately with his face hiding between the slope of your neck.

He lays you down to the floor again, gently this time, before he hovers above you, his arms shaking slightly. “Holy shit,” he exhales, cheeks flushed and beads of sweat forming on his temple. “I think I came a lot inside you.”

“Glad I’m taking some pills then,” you reply, smiling a little as you cup his cheek, your thumb tracing the mole under his left eye. “You okay?”

“Are you okay?” He asks instead. “Was I too rough? Are you hurt somewhere?”

“Why is it that whenever we have sex, you end up asking me these questions?” You chuckle. “Yes, you were. And yes, I am hurt. My back is killing me.”

“I’m…” There’s a slight panic flitting across his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, it was kinda hot seeing you all riled up like that. It’s like you turned into a completely different person.” You pull him down by his necklace, murmuring against his lips, “I won’t mind if you fuck me like that again sometimes.”

It’s funny that after all of this that just happened, he actually blushes over your words. Quietly cursing under his breath, he leans back on his heels, slowly pulling out of you and stare intently at how his cum starts to seep out of you.

“Goddamn…” he mumbles, eyes unblinking as if he’s in a trance. “I really did come a lot inside you.”

“Consider that your birthday gift. Also, can you stop looking at me like that—it’s embarrassing.” You don’t usually get embarrassed about sexual stuff, especially now that your boyfriend’s shamelessness kind of rubs off on you, but Haechan really knows how to push your buttons.

Seeing you fidget out of shame, Haechan’s eyes twinkle, his lips forming a teasing grin. “No, wait, let me clean you up.” Despite what he says, he slowly pushes one finger into you, with another one following right after and you part your lips in a gasp but loss for words when you see him playing with his cum that’s mixed with yours, smearing it on the inside parts of your thigh.

“Haechannie,” you gasp, feeling his fingers inside you once again, with his thumb rubbing over your clit. “What are you doing?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” He grins, showcasing his perfect teeth. “I’m going to make you come again. And then you’re going to make me come again.” His face hovers above yours, wetting his bottom lip as he stares lustfully at you. “Since it’s my birthday and you’re obliged to do whatever I want.”

You gulp. You’re going to be so sore tomorrow.

***

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