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#i keep saying i have spent too much money and then finding new things to spend it on.....
seilon · 8 months
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kinda hate that my go-to non-merch clothing store choices are vans and hollister like we GET it im fucking californian
#their shit is surprisingly good quality and they often have good sales what can I say#but yeah also it’s a style thing. if I’m not dressing like a scene kid im dressed like a california santa cruz ass sk8r boy or surfer boy#i just ordered a few new things from hollister and im looking forward 2 it because the ripped jeans I got last year from there are like.#the best jeans I’ve owned since outwardly transitioning#which. I guess doesn’t say much on the surface cause I’ve only had like. three pairs of jeans in that time. but LOOK it IS significant#because finding jeans that fit right as a trans guy- even one who’s almost 2 years on t- can be a Struggle.#that + my weight = it’s difficult to find places that carry men’s pants in my size a lot of the time (26w x 30l)#sometimes a 28w fits depending on the place but. yeah it’s usually closer to 26. I have a tiny waist and decently longish legs#not complaining I like that about myself generally and I’m definitely thankful I’m somewhat close to average male height (only 2 inches#under the average in the us- im 5’7) but still#in other news I still need a new binder (preferably two really) but now I’m worried I spent too much money on the pants and stuff#I need a fucking job. so. bad#at least I have excuses for the hollister order- really good sale + I needed new pants and a business casualish shirt for job/job interview#related stuff. I cant keep wearing my fucking funeral clothes to job interviews and the pants I was using fit Bad#kibumblabs#no one needed to know all this I am just rambling in my diary that is tumblr dot com don’t mind me
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kaibutsushidousha · 29 days
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Kodaka April Fools tweets 2024
Lying just because it's April Fools' is so dull. Honestly painful to watch. Lying in general doesn't do you any good. In my younger days, I told every lie I could, saying some genuinely insane stuff about being a supreme leader of evil and whatnot, and thanks to that, now that I'm in my thirties, I got famous for all the wrong reasons and can't find a stable job because people think I'm associated with the yakuza... Sigh, I wanna deck my cringe younger self's face. Quit lying for fun while you can.
My classmates aren't doing great either. Thinking you're hot shit during your school days always comes back to bite you... My advice to my past self: slow and steady effort is worth more than any talent. Also, the part of life you spent larping with that silly horse laugh is not going to be one you'll want to remember later. I wish I could make that clear to him. White lies aren't a thing. Talent is never enough. My class is proof of that. Wanna know what my classmates are like now that we're in our thirties?
Akamatsu became a piano teacher. Her player skills capped off in her teens, it seems. But she's not that good at teaching so she's considered kinda mid at her job. And now she's struggling with the father of a student incessantly hitting on her. Tough world to live in.
Toujou opened a housekeeping company but she was too strict with her employees so everyone quit. And now she's doing everything on her own. Sucks to be in your thirties without any successors or employees. She's a prime example of how being so much better than anyone else doesn't do you any good. Well, she's always working for celebrities, so she's doing well financially, but I heard about some major court fight about a missing item under suspicion of theft from one of her clients. That can't be nice.
Yumeno got to her thirties still saying magic is real, so she's past the point of no return. She agrees that's an unhinged way to live, but she's too old to suddenly change gimmicks. Work takes her all over the country, but her gimmick doesn't allow her to publicly drink, so she has to get plastered alone in her hotel room after shows. I wish she could fix her life with real magic.
Harukawa? ...Haven't heard that name in a long time. Now she was a living edgy fantasy. The past tense was because I hadn't heard of her in a long time. I don't know the details, but apparently, she went to some war zone outside of Japan because her first love didn't want to date her. Takes some real edgelord to react to a broken heart like that, but if she's still alive, I have no idea how her thirties are treating her. My personal guess is that she's a mother of many.
Chabashira opened her Aikido school but is having a hard time attracting students. So she had the idea of starting an anti-sexual-harassment campaign that could double as advertisement, but thanks to her cluelessness when it comes to romance, she got canceled for mistakenly tossing men in regular couples. She's still doing the "degenerate males" bit in her thirties. Girl really needs to get on with the times. Rumor goes that she still downs huge packs of tequila bottles with Yumeno every now and then. Really don't think there's any salvaging her reputation.
Shirogane is an office lady still continuing her cosplay hobby on the side. She could be doing well if she knew how to keep her mouth shut but frequently rambles about cosplay history and etiquette, so no one likes having her around. Stay emotionally dependent on a single hobby long enough and your passion starts to close you off to others. That's her problem.
Angie was the most successful in the class! She made big money both on the art and the religion fronts. However, there were some controversies about her devotees selling counterfeits of her paintings at exorbitant prices and one magazine made a huge news coverage of it, which resulted in her catching the police's attention. She's been recently untraceable, with the rumors saying that she'll never be back to Japan.
Oh, and Iruma... Up until some point, she had the best life of all of us. She made big money off of her inventions' patents. So far so good. Things only started going off-rails after she married an ex-stripper. The two started a YouTube channel together. And later, her husband ran in last year's elections and lost big time. They got an awful debt from his election campaign and she had to get into side jobs to pay it off. And her husband? Disappeared. No word from Iruma herself about what happened. Tough world to live in.
No further updates from Kodaka in the past 3 hours, so I assume he went to sleep and will come back to tweet about the 7 remaining boys in the morning.
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bunni-v1 · 6 months
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Could I ask for your headcanons on how the staff would take care of/look after the reader? I’m a sucker for the fics where they take a parental role
How The Staff Takes Care of You
TW: None!
Info: Crowley, Crewel, Trein, Vargas and Sam x Reader (Platonic)
🍓This one is short but sweet. I’ve spent a lot of time on the event, but I want to start on other requests outside of it too. This one looked fun and easy so I got it out within about an hour or so. I hope you enjoy!
Tags: @kitsun369 @bloomstruck
Crowley
-Lets get one thing straight, Crowley does not take care of you
-It’s hard to even say that Crowley cares for you. It’s hard to say he cares for anyone other than himself.
-Still… he does do some things correctly.
-He gives you a place to live (which he threatened to take away), food (which he threatened to take away), and funding (which he… threatened to take away).
-He DOES come to ACTUALLY care for you, just… not in the traditional sense, I suppose. 
-He has frequent check ins with you to ensure that you are doing well.
-Occasionally he stops by ramshackle just to chat with you and ensure you have company.
-Believe it or not, he set up a lot of the things you do specifically so that he can ensure you are getting along with other students and have a support system here.
-He lets you keep grim around — even though he has cause countless issues for student and staff alike.
-He’s like your weird uncle. You hardly ever actually see Crowley around, but you know that he is looking out for you in his own way. 
-Thats all that matters, right?
Crewel
-Crewel is also anther oddball when it comes to how he shows that he cares.
-He is… aware that Crowley does not do a very good job at caring for you, and he’s a bit easier on you because of that.
-He’s probably harder on you homework-wise than most other students though.
-He wants to see you excel and succeed in his class.
-It would be the biggest fuck you to Crowley ever, so he works hard to make sure that you prove yourself to everyone.
-He makes sure that you’re sleeping and eating well, and if he sees that you are not, he makes you stay ofter class to talk to him so you both can find a way to solve this issue.
-If it’s money issues keeping you from eating, don’t worry. He’s now making you a lunch — or at least he gives you some money to eat.
-The nicest thing he does for you, however, is he gets you clothes.
-Your uniform is pretty… bad, and he feels bad for you.
-So, he takes matters into his own hands and gets you a nice new one that actually fits you.
-He and Trein have a rivalry over who treats you better and who you like more. (Trein is winning by like one point and it drives Crewel crazy).
-Crewel very much is the one to tell you “Boys are stupid, don’t date — especially not the ones here.” Lol
-Again, more like a very ambitious uncle who just really loves his family but never wants kids of his own.
-Oh, also, his dogs love you. So that’s a plus.
Trein
-He has two girls of his own, and he really does love kids, he’s just… jaded from years of being a teacher for snotty kids like Ace.
-You though? He likes you a lot.
-You’re a troublemaker, sure, but you always try your best in classes and have been making the best of your situation.
-Speaking of, Trein hates the way Crowley is so lackadaisical about your position and treatment.
-You are a living person? How could he just leave you to almost starve or freeze in your rickety old dorm?
-Trein visits your dorm frequently after his school day is done, just to ensure you have food and are able to stay warm/cool in the respective seasons.
-If he finds that you do not have enough food or cannot afford it, he talks to both Sam and Crowley and scolds them into lowering prices for you and raising your passive income.
-He still buys you things with his own money.
-If you fall asleep in class and you look like you need it, he won’t bother you. 
-Tells you that you can always come to him if you’re having trouble with anyone, and he will most definitely deal with them.
-Do you need extra help with homework, he’ll stay late just to ensure you’re understanding the material. 
-Seriously the number one dad at NRC, and he’s really happy to have you around since you remind him so much of his girls.
Vargas
-The resident promoter of a healthy lifestyle and great workout routine at NRC.
-You don’t really spend that much time around Vargas, so you two aren’t close, but he knows about you through the other members of staff.
-He knows how Crowley treats you, and while he isn’t one to play favorites… he can make an exception.
-Especially since he knows you aren’y always eating enough thanks to your limited budget.
-The last thing he needs is a student passing out in his class.
-He still pushes you to work out and participate, but if you’re looking like a ghost when you walk into class he’s going to make you go change and get some rest.
-He’s a gym nut, not a monster.
-He’s good with dieting though, so he’s able to tell Trein and Crewel and Same what would be best for you to eat in your condition.
-So yeah, he’s likely the least involved in your life, but he does help you from behind the scenes.
-It’s better than Crowley, so that’s a win in his books.
Sam
-Other than Trein, Sam probably sees you the most frequently out of everyone.
-You come into his shop at least once a day for something.
-At first he treated you the same as every other student, charing you ridiculously hight prices for typically cheap stuff.
-Then one day you came in looking for something to eat, cause you’d run out of what little Crowley gave you, but you didn’t have enough money.
-He nearly cried at how heartbroken you looked when you realized you couldn’t get anything.
-He gave you the whole meal for free, didn’t even ask for what you had.
-Trein is also on his ass about how high his prices are, so he purposefully has a “discount” every time you’re there to buy something.
-He also gets to know you through your shopping and makes and effort to talk to you to feel out where you are physically and mentally.
-He reports what he notices back to Trein and Crowley, just to make sure someone who has the power to is taking care of you.
-You’ve got a friend in Sam, that’s for sure.
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lacroixwh0r3 · 9 months
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The First Taste
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DBF!Joel Miller x F!Reader
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Summary: You meet Joel, your dad's best friend, for the first time after your dad begged you to join them at the lake to keep Sarah company. Both you and Joel become fascinated by each other the moment the two of you met.
Warnings: SMUT!!! DUB CON, heavy sexual tension, drug usage (weed only), petnames, age gap (Joel is 36 and reader is 21), masturbation (F and M), fingering, voyerism, daddy kink, dom!Joel, Joel is a perv and an asshole, cursing, swimming??, no outbreak
Song inspo (feel free to read if you want): The First Taste by Fiona Apple
PART 2 PART 3
A/N: This takes place four years before Blow My Load, but can be read as a standalone.
Please share, comment, like, and reblog...enjoy lovies! <33
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"Dad, I thought it was supposed to be a "boy's trip," and the last time I checked, I am not a boy." You point at your body as you tell your dad. For some reason, he is begging you to come to the lake with him and his friends the day before they leave. "Why won't you just tell me why you want me to go? And maybe I'll give you an answer."
You finally got him to crack.
Your dad let out a defeated sigh as he scratched the back of his head and avoided eye contact. You mentally prepared yourself for whatever bullshit your dad was about to say. "Well, you see, honey, one of the guys couldn't get a babysitter for his kid, and I offered you to keep her company." He winced.
And there it is. The thing he was holding back from you
You let out a sarcastic chuckle. You really couldn't believe this shit. "Are you serious, dad? I refuse to babysit some random kid because you offered me up without even asking me first!" You exclaimed at him. "I don't even know a damn thing about this kid."
"Look, I know it was wrong for me to do that, sweetheart, but I swear Sarah is a good kid. Most of the time she has her headphones in and minds her business." He tries to reason with you, almost pleading with you. You began to feel bad for blowing up on him like that, but it really did piss you off that you had to watch someone else's kid. "I'll even pay you."
This weekend, you planned on doing nothing but self-care. You wanted to do nothing but stay home, watch movies, get a mani and pedi, go get a massage, drink, and maybe even play with the new toy you just bought yourself at Spencers.
You feel yourself giving into your dad; it wasn't the money that made you say yes, but the fact that he always found a way to make you feel bad, even if he didn't mean to do it. "Ugh, fine!" You scoff as you turn to look away from him. From the corner of your eye, you can see his body perk up.
Your dad lets out a sigh of relief, saying, "Thank you so much, sweetheart! You're such a lifesaver; you know that, right?" He slaps your shoulder playfully, causing you to shrug it off and narrow your eyes at him playfully as well.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. How old is your friend's daughter, anyway?" You asked him, unfazed by it all.
"I think she's around 14?" Your dad said cluelessly. "Not too bad, right? I'm sure that you can find something to talk about with her."
It wasn't that bad, but what the fuck would you, a 21-year-old, have in common with a 14–15-year-old girl?
"I guess. I'm gonna start getting my stuff all packed up," You tell him as you turn around to go up to your room.
"Alright, sweetheart, and thanks again!" He exclaims to you as you make your way farther up the steps.
"Yup!" You yell it out dismissively.
As much as you hated the circumstances, you were happy you were finally able to get away for a little bit.
...
It was the next day, and you were tired as hell after only getting four hours of sleep. You had spent all night packing and stressing about what you were going to wear. It wasn't like you were trying to impress anyone, but this was your first time meeting your dad's friends, and you wanted to look decent.
You had left it up to your dad to pack your things into the car as you were too tired to do anything besides shower, put your clothes on, and lay back down for a little until it was time to go. As you lay face down on the bed, knocked out, you heard your dad knock on the door. "Hey, kiddo, are you ready to head out?" He asked you as he stood at the door.
You slowly sit up on your bed as you yawn and stretch your arms over your head. "Yeah, let me just get up and grab my purse and stuff."
"Got it." Your dad says this before turning around and making his way downstairs.
After moments of sitting on your bed, stairing into space, you got up, grabbed your purse, and began to leave your room. However, on your way to the door, you see the pouch that contained your weed and weed paraphernalia. You hesitantly swiped it from your dresser, dropped it into your bag, and went downstairs.
If the men got to have their fun, why couldn't you?
Once you get to the last step, you hear your dad saying bye to someone on the phone before turning to you. "My buddy, Joel, just got to the lake house, so we should start headin' out." He says this as he grabs his keys and motions for you to follow him to the door.
After making sure the security alarm was set and locking the door, the two of you were finally on your two-hour journey to the lake house.
...
You and your dad finally made it to the lake house. It was a three story house that sat on top of a hill, surrounded by nothing but trees.
You and your dad hop out of the car and start bringing your bags to the front door. All of a sudden, the moment you sat the last bag down and brought your fist up to knock at the door, it swung open, revealing a man who looked to be in his early 30s with short, dark, curly hair.
Beside him was a woman with long locs, smiling warmly at you. Meanwhile, the man looked at you with confusion, trying to piece together who you were. You looked familiar to him, but he couldn't put a name to your face.
"Tommy!" Your dad said loudly behind you. You could hear the excitement in his voice as he greeted him. Tommy's eyes moved to look behind you at your dad, and his eyes lit up.
"Oh man, y'all come on in!" He opened the door wider as he and the unnamed woman moved out of the way to allow you to walk in first, followed by your dad. "I'll grab the rest of the bags out there." Tommy says.
Tommy brought the bags in as your dad greeted the lady. "Hey, Maria!" He asked her as he gave her a side hug. "I didn't know you were gonna be joining us this weekend as well."
So that was her name.
"I didn't think I was going to be joining either. Tommy invited me last minute, so I just decided to take some time off of work," She replies back.
They stood near the entrance as they began to get deeper into the conversation, talking about God knows what, leaving you standing there awkwardly as you watched them. You decided to take that moment to observe the room. Even though the house was spacious, it still had a cozy feel to it.
As you were in your own world, your dad gently slapped his hand on your shoulder unexpectedly. "And this young lady right here is my daughter." He smiles at the two as Maria and Tommy turn their attention to you.
"Nice to meet you, kid," He says as he offers his hand to shake yours, which you accept. You shake hands with him before dropping them to your side. Tommy then points to Maria. "This is my wife, Maria."
You shake hands with her as well while you tell them your name. "It's so great to meet you two!" You beam at the couple.
They begin to ask you a series of questions about yourself, such as what university you attended, what your major was, and so on, to which you gladly answer.
However, in the midst of your conversation, your words are abruptly interrupted by the sound of the sliding door opening, followed by heavy footsteps. "And here comes my asshole brother, Joel, and my niece, Sarah," Tommy says to you, prompting both you and your dad to look behind you. You can hear Maria let out a loud laugh at Tommy's words.
Your eyes immediately focused on him as he got closer to you, not even paying attention to the fact that his daughter was right behind him as well.
The man named Joel had short, dark, curly hair like Tommy’s; the only difference is that he is a lot shorter, and the roots of his hair were slightly gray at his temples. Joel also had a patchy beard with a thick mustache. He has this rugged and mysterious look to him that completely enraptures you.
He and your dad greet each other, giving a quick bro hug and pulling away. Joel then turns to you, and you feel your hands quiver. His dark, dominant eyes intensify the intimidating aura that surrounds him, yet it still makes him even more interesting to you.
Holy hell, you think to yourself. This man is so fucking fine.
You continued to stare at Joel, saying absolutely nothing, until you realized that he was giving you a confused look as if he were waiting for something. Your eyes darted down, and you realized that he had his hand out, waiting for you to shake it. You felt your face heat up with embarrassment as you went to shake his hand.
"Joel," was all he said as the two of you shook hands before he let go and discreetly rubbed his hands into his shirt. You could feel yourself shrink with embarrassment as he did this. Not only did he not even give you a chance to introduce yourself, but he wiped his hands after shaking yours.
What a fucking jerk! Tommy was right; he is an asshole.
You quickly snapped out of your feelings when you realized that Sarah was now in front of you. She wore a pink crop top and jean shorts, while her curly hair was placed in a low ponytail.
She suddenly brings you in for a hug with a massive smile on her face, catching you off guard. Nonetheless, you still happily return the hug.
"I'm Sarah. It's nice to meet you!" Unlike Joel, Sarah was a lot more friendly with you. She had this radiant energy to her that made you wonder where she got it from because it definitely wasn't from Joel's grumpy ass. You tell her your name.
"It's nice to meet you as well, Sarah!" I return a smile back to her. She seems like the sweetest 14-year-old you've ever met. "I think we're gonna get along just fine this weekend."
"We sure are!"" She agrees.
"Sarah, sweetheart, how've you been?" Your dad asked her.
As your dad began to talk to Sarah, you decided to check Joel out while he listened to the conversation, occasionally putting in his two cents. Unlike the rest of the group, Joel wore a dark gray shirt, jeans, and some boots.
How is he not hot?
I mean, he is hot, but I meant temperature-wise, you think, causing yourself to let out a low chuckle.
You guess you said that out loud because Joel’s head, along with Maria's, Sarah's, and Tommy's, suddenly snapped over to you with eyes wide and eyebrows raised. Your dad's voice slowly began to fade when he saw the mortified expression on Sarah's face.
"Wait, what happened?" Your dad asked cluelessly as he looked around the group. He was so in his own world that he didn't hear what you said. Thank-fucking-goodness. "Everyone just stopped talking all of a sudden."
"Nothing!" You quickly tell him as you give him a disengenious smile before looking at everyone else. Sarah looked embarrassed for you, as Tommy and Maria still looked shocked. You get a glimpse of Joel as you wince in embarrassment and close your eyes; he had this smug look on his face.
You gathered that Tommy obviously loves to fuck around with people because he let out a stifled laugh, causing his wife to slap his arm and tell him to shut up.
You just wanted to die right then and there. This is now the second time today you've embarrassed yourself in front of this sexy ass man.
Your dad, being the clueless person he is, continues on with whatever he is talking about, not even realizing that no one is paying attention to him. Maria interrupts your dad as she clears her throat to catch your attention. She had a sympathetic look on her face. "Sweetie, your room is on the second floor next to, uh, Joel's, if you wanna get settled in," She offered to you. "We're going to head out to the lake and start putting some things on the grill around 2 or so." You just nodded your head because you were too afraid to speak.
"Hey, Joel?" Tommy looked at his brother with a teasing look on his face. "Why don't you go show her to her room, yeah?" He nods his head in the direction of the staircase.
You wished that you could just punch Tommy across the face at this very moment.
"Umm yeah..." Joel agrees slowly as he gives Tommy a dirty look before glancing at you. "Follow me," You nodded your head and grabbed your purse and other bags. As you followed Joel, the group quietly picked up their conversation again.
Without saying a word to each other, you and Joel arrive in the room. He steps aside, allowing you to enter, and turns around to make his way down the hallway to go back downstairs, but you quickly stopped him before he could get any further. "Hey, I'm sorry about what happened down there." You apologized to him. "I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable or anything."
Joel just turns around and gives you a small smirk. "Oh, darlin', I'm far from uncomfortable. I'm actually flattered...more than flattered as a matter of fact." He winks at you before departing down the hallway, leaving you shocked.
You were somewhat relieved that Joel wasn't disgusted by you, but it still didn't help with your embarrassment as much as you hoped it would.
You scanned the room, taking in the room that you were going to be spending your weekend sleeping in. The walls were painted a light gray. There was a queen-sized bed that looked really comfortable and had bedside tables on each side as well as a TV, which was mounted onto the wall opposite the bed. There was a door that led to a balcony. You could see an overview of the calm lake and the tall trees. It was a beautiful view.
...
It's been a while since you went downstairs with everyone. You were still so embarrassed by the incident this morning that you decided to spend most of your time scrolling through social media and catching up with your college friends. The only time you came out of the room was to go to the bathroom.
You eventually rolled out of bed and worked up the courage to join everyone.
After changing your clothes that you had on earlier and putting on your swim suit, you slipped on your oversized shirt, put on some waterproof mascara, and put on some lip gloss.
You made sure to grab your sunglasses, put on your flip-flops, and jogged down the steps.
Once you got down there, you realized that Maria was in the kitchen. You headed towards her, quickly greeting her. "Hi, Maria," You say while positioning yourself behind the chairs on the island. She was gathering something that she needed to put outside.
"Hey, sweetheart!" Maria happily greets you back with a smile as she turns her attention to you. "How're you feeling?" She asked you gingerly as she looked at you with sympathy. Her goal wasn't to embarrass you; she truly wanted to know if you were okay after earlier.
You felt yourself begin to get flustered. "I'm fine. Thanks for asking." You sheepishly replied. You avoided her eyes, beginning to feel awkward.
"Of course. They're out in the back; you should join them." She points to the sliding door. You just nodded your head and made your way to the door. Before you went out there, you stood there looking outside. You could see Joel's tall figure standing over the grill as he flipped the meat and sipped on his beer.
You felt yourself getting nervous just looking at him.
You then looked and saw your dad helping Joel take the food off the grill and start to place it on the table. Meanwhile, Sarah and Tommy sat at the table, talking to each other. Whatever Tommy had said made them let out loud laughs, causing Joel quickly turned around, let out a chuckle, and shook his head. He then went back to putting things on the rest of the food on the serving platter.
His smile is so gorgeous, it almost takes your breath away.
"Are you going out, sweetheart?" Maria asked behind you, startling you. You had forgotten that she was still here.
You turned to her as you began to stammer over your words and realized that her hands were full with plasticware and plates. "Do you need me to help you take those?" You asked her without even answering her question.
"I do actually," She just looked at you with a questionable look before speaking up again. "Can you just grab the forks and spoons from the top and place them on the table out there, please?" She asked. You grabbed the utensils before turning back around and opening the door.
They didn't notice you at first until Sarah caught sight of you and loudly called out your name as you got closer, causing Joel to look over at you as he closed the grill's top.
"Sarah!" You exclaimed dramatically. Once you reached the table, you sat the plasticware down and went over to sit next to her.
You noticed that her hair was wet and that she was wrapped in a towel. "What've you been up to, girlfriend?" You asked her as you sat down in the seat.
"Nothing much; I just took a quick dip in the lake, and now I am starving," Sarah whined out as she looked over at her dad, who was coming over with the food.
You can hear the sound of Joel's heavy feet approaching behind you and stopping at the free seat at the end of the table, which was next to you. He first put the food in the middle of the table, then plopped himself down. We all began to put things on our plates and begin eating.
Tommy grumbled something about starving, causing Sarah to make a joke about how he was always starving. In reply, Tommy stuck his tongue out at the young girl in a teasing manner.
As Joel ate, he was manspreading under the table. You could feel his hairy, bare leg graze against yours, making you move your leg away. Joel wiped his mouth with the napkin, took a sip of his beer, and looked at you with a blank stare, not saying anything.
You decided to speak up and compliment him on the food. "Joel, this is really good," You smile. Everyone hummed in agreement as they ate.
"Why thank you, darlin'?" Joel says, going back to eating.
...
After eating, we all sat there with our tummies full as we sat around talking about whatever came to mind. That was until Sarah ran into the house without saying a word.
"Oh goodness, that girl." He sat back as he watched his daughter running around the house through the sliding door before running back outside with a box of Uno cards.
"Who wants to play?" She asked the whole table as she ran to her seat and plopped down.
We all agreed. She began to shuffle the cards, dealt them out to everyone, and then set up the game. It first started with you, Joel, Maria, Tommy, then your dad, and lastly Sarah.
Sarah was the first one to get Uno, even though she had the most cards at one point. We all accused her of cheating, which she was quick to deny. No one at the table believed her, especially Tommy and Maria. She just rolled her eyes and helped your dad while he was stuck figuring out which cards to play next.
While the two silently argued about which card was the best, you looked over at Joel and saw that all his cards were showing. You looked around and noticed that no one was paying attention to his cards. Tommy and Maria were sitting there watching your dad and Sarah.
"You're bleedin', Joel," you whisper to him as you point to his card. His face scrunched up with confusion as to what you meant. He looked down at himself and saw no blood.
"What, sugar? I ain't bleedin' anywhere," He said as he tried to recall if he had maybe scraped himself anywhere, but it wasn't coming to him. You couldn't help, but laugh at his confusion.
"It means your cards are showing, Joel." You giggled at him as he chuckled a bit and put his cards up so that he wasn't "bleeding" anymore.
"That's so stupid, who taught you that?" You just shrugged your shoulders at his question and looked back over to see if your dad had finally picked up his card yet.
"Oh my gosh, this isn't rocket science, dad! Just pick a card already!" You exclaimed it, causing everyone to laugh.
"I'm tryin', I'm tryin'!" Your dad waved you off as he went back to silently arguing with Sarah about which card to choose.
The game got drawn out longer than it was supposed to because every other minute someone (usually Tommy) would start arguing about another person cheating. And in the end, Tommy lost the game.
We put the cards away as everyone except for Maria decided to hang out by the dock and take a swim. She said something about having to get on the phone with a client of hers, but she would come join us when she was done and would bring popsicles.
You and Sarah walked in front of your dad, Joel, and Tommy until you yelled out, "Beat you there!" to Sarah as you both haphazardly ran down the steps to get to the dock.
"You girls, be careful down those stairs now! Don't want y'all gettin' hurt," Joel yells out from behind. The two of you don't respond or slow down; you just keep giggling and running. Joel had to suppress a smile from appearing on his face. It brought him joy to hear how much fun Sarah was having with you.
Once you make it to the dock, Sarah flings off her towel and jumps into the lake with a squiel before she goes under water and floates back up. You quickly kick off your flip flops, throw your sunglasses down, and take off your shirt. Unlike Sarah, you didn't jump into the water, you sat down on the dock and scooched into the water.
Oh, come on! You should've jumped in!" She says this to you as she splashes you with water. You splashed her back.
"I'm too afraid, Sar-bear!" You yelled out to her, and she gasped. The men appeared from the concrete steps just as she did so. Joel dropped the towels in his arms before walking over in front of us, while your dad and Tommy moved to the other side of the dock with their beers and their folding chairs.
"Dad, can you believe that she's too afraid to jump into the water?" Sarah yells out to her dad.
He looked down at you from the dock with his hands on his hips and cocked his head to the side in confusion. "Really? It's not that scary, sweetheart," He tells you.
"Then how about you get in, Joel?" You say to him without even thinking.
"Yeah, come on, dad. Get in and show her how it's done!" Sarah yells out as she encourages her dad to get in.
You watched Joel as he took off his shoes and shirt, all while keeping his eyes on you. You couldn't help but suck in a breath and bite your bottom lip when he pulled off his shirt. You got a glimpse of his shirtless chest. Joel wasn't the most muscular man, but whatever his job was, it kept him fit, and you loved it. Your eyes quickly scanned over his neck, then his broad shoulders.
Those damn shoulders of his. You wished you could hold onto them as you rode on his co-
Your thoughts were abruptly shattered when Joel took a big leap into the lake, causing a splash of water to hit your face and go up your nose. You tried to make an attempt at turning your head, but it was too late. You coughed as you tried to clear the water from your lungs. As you do so, Joel comes up from beneath the water.
He gasped as he allowed the air back into his lungs and used his big hands to wipe his face. Once he noticed that you were coughing, he quickly swam over to you with a look of concern.
"You okay, sweetheart?" He asked you as you let out one last cough and nodded your head. He brought his hand up to stroke the side of your head and gave you this tender look before pulling away when he noticed that Sarah was coming over.
If it were just you and Joel on the lake, he would've probably pulled you into his body and placed a soft kiss on your lips.
Even though he had just gotten into the lake, Joel decided to get out before he did something that he would regret.
"Alright, girls. I'm gonna get out now." He says more to Sarah than to you. Once again, you just nodded your head at him. You knew that if you spoke, you'd embarrass yourself again.
"Wha-Dad! You literally just got in." She tries to convince him, but he just shook his head and grabbed onto the rails. He pulls himself up with a grunt and walks onto the dock.
"I'll get back in in a little bit." He dismissed her as he went to get a towel.
Sarah began to say something to you as she swam around you, but you were too focused on Joel to listen to what she was saying. She was too busy talking to notice that you weren't listening. Your attention was stuck on Joel, and his wet shorts stuck to his surprisingly nice ass. He then turns around as he dries off. Your eyes drifted down and widening when you saw his bulge. You were taken aback by the sight.
Oh my god, you thought to yourself.
You looked back up at his face to realize that Joel was already staring at you and smirking while he wrapped the towl around his waist.
Oh fuck!
He obviously saw you staring at his cock because he was fucking smirking.
Joel walked over to have a seat with his brother and your dad. You diverted your attention back to Sarah, acting as if you knew what she was talking about. You just nodded your head a couple of times, and she believed it, but again, your mind drifted.
You were thinking about her dad; snap out of it for Christ's sake.
For the rest of your time at the lake, you refused to look at Joel. And just as promised, Maria finally joined you all about an hour later with the popsicles she said she would bring. Once we ate them, Maria convinced the other adults to have a swim in the lake, to which they all agreed after some groans and pressure from her and Sarah.
...
After spending most of the afternoon outside, everyone went off to do their own thing. Sarah decided to take a shower and then go to sleep while your dad, Tommy, and Maria opted to go out to a bar that a local had told them about, and Joel refused to go out tonight because he said that he was beat from the lake. As for you, you took a quick shower and decided to watch the sunset on the balcony that was connected to your room and smoke.
Before slipping onto the balcony, you grabbed a preroll and a lighter from the pouch, your headphones, and a water bottle from the bed.
When you first got here, you didn't notice that there was a door connected to the balcony that led to Joel's room. However, the sheer curtains were closed, so you could only assume that he was asleep, meaning it was safe for you to smoke without him seeing you. You sat down on the lounge chair, put your headphones on, turned on some music, and began your session.
After two hits of the preroll, you felt the effects of the weed. Your body began to relax, and your eyelids felt slightly heavy. As you continued smoking, you couldn't escape the thought of Joel. You know that he is your dad's friend, and you would never think to go after him, but you have to admit that he is an attractive older man. Just your type.
You barely spoke to him throughout the couple of hours you had been there, yet you could tell the type of man he was. He is very reserved, doesn't speak unless spoken to, and likes to observe. Joel is respectful, but he didn't take shit from anyone. It was very visible that he was protective of not only Sarah but also Tommy.
Everything about him drew you in more and more.
With a few more hits of your preroll, you see a figure standing in the corner of your eye just a few feet away from you, causing you to quickly pull off your headphones and flick the preroll from your fingers and off the balcony. You look over to see Joel watching you with his eyebrows frowned and his hands on his hips. Your eyes widen with shock.
"Shit! I mean, hey, Joel..." You smile up at him awkwardly, trying to seem as sober as possible. "What are you doing out here?" You asked him in a sickly sweet voice. He continues to stare at you before answering.
"I just came out here to check on you. Heard you out here, so I decided to see what you were up to." Joel grumbles as he switches his weight to his other foot.
You prayed that Joel didn't know you were out here smoking weed; your dad would kill you if he heard about you doing this. Little did you know that your attempt would be a complete failure. As soon as Joel walked outside, he could smell the smoke and aroma of weed. He could also see your bloodshot eyes.
"Oh, yknow, nothing much really, just out here enjoying the view and listening to music!" You say this while waving your hand, gesturing to the view in front of both of you. You visibly cringe after this sentence because, even though it was the truth, it wasn't the full truth. He seemed to buy it, so you relaxed a bit.
"Mm, you enjoyed yourself today?" he asked.
"Yeah, I had a lot of fun today. Sarah definitely made it fun for me, she's amazing." You admitted to him, and it was true. His daughter was truly a joy to be around.
"Yeah," He laughs out as he looks out at the sunset, his handsome smile threatening to appear on his face. "She's amazing, for sure." He whispers. You can't help but smile at his words. It was refreshing to see that there was someone who was able to crack his hard exterior.
A silence falls over the two of you before he speaks up again. "Y'know, when we were walking back to the car after the lake, she talked about you the whole time. I couldn't shut up about how much cooler you are than Tommy and me." He scoffs as he rolls his eyes playfully and folds his arms to his chest. His confession made you laugh so hard that you couldn't stop, which caused him to laugh as well.
"I mean, she isn't wrong." You teasingly say it to him, causing him to shake his head.
"Yeah-fuckin'-right, darlin'. I can be cool, too."
"Mmhmm.." You reply back to him as you turn your head to look back at the view. However, Joel's eyes remained on you, but you didn't mind too much.
Once again, silence fell over you two. You wanted to look back at Joel, but you knew that if you looked at him in the eyes, your heart would beat out of your chest.
"Did you enjoy yourself, Joel?" You asked him without looking at him.
"What?" Joel asked.
Was he that engrossed in my face that he wasn't even paying attention, or were you not loud enough?
You suppress your laugh as you turn your head to look at him again. "I asked if you enjoyed yourself today." He quickly snaps out of his trance and looks away.
"Oh, yeah, it was enjoyable for the most part, sweetie," Joel sighs out. You said nothing else after this.
You didn't realize it until now, but you were starting to grow tired from the weed. You also wanted a snack.
"Well, I'm going to head back in, maybe fall asleep to a movie or something." You tell him as you grab your belongings, get up from the chair, and walk to the door.
"Alright," He says as he watches every step you take. "And one last thing, darlin'," You stop with your hand on the doorknob and look up at Joel as you wait to hear what he has to say. With a mix of your high and the nervousness you were feeling because of Joel, your heart was pounding out of your chest at this point.
"You don't gotta lie to me, sweet girl. You know that, right?" He says lowly as he motioned to his eyes.
Fuck!
Your body tenses up, and you freeze. You decided to play dumb, even though you were caught. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Joel," You say as you let out a nervous laugh. Your eyes shifted to the ground, avoiding eye contact with Joel like a guilty puppy.
"Oh, no need to play stupid with me, sweet girl; I won't tell your daddy." Something about the way he said these words made you want him so bad; it was almost like he was teasing you.
You felt your walls crumbling, no longer feeling the need to lie to him. "You swear, Joel?" You asked him as you looked at him with pleading eyes.
Joel wished that you would look at him with those pretty eyes while you were on your knees, pleading and begging for him to feed you his cock. In all honesty, he'd give you the world if you asked for it with that look. You made Joel feel something he hasn't felt for a woman in years, and he was willing to do just about anything to have you. However, he could tell you weren't ready for that yet, but he knew in due time he'd have you.
"You have my word, darlin'," He nods his head. "Just don't lie to me again," Joel tells you as he points a finger.
You frantically nod your head in agreement as you bite your lip. "I won't do it again, Joel."
All Joel could think about was how obedient you are, so eager to please him and do as he says. He could feel his cock getting hard in his shorts as he looked at your bare thighs and had these thoughts. Not once did you realize that Joel was checking you out.
Oh, how badly Joel wanted to grab your chin and kiss those lips of yours. He kept reminding himself that he needed to be patient.
"Good." He says before speaking up again. "You should go inside, darlin', maybe get some rest." Joel insisted as he made his way to the door and gave you one last look before walking inside, leaving you outside by yourself.
You stand there dumbfounded for a moment as you think about your interaction with Joel. You weren't sure if it was just you thinking too much into the interaction, but you felt like there was some sexual tension between you and Joel.
Any time you're around him, nervousness takes over, and a sense of yearning aches deep in your bones.
You needed him badly.
"Don't," You say to yourself. "Don't fucking think about it." You say it lowly as you try to shake the thoughts out of your head.
Joel is off limits; he's your dad's best friend.
You realized how crazy you must look standing at the door thinking about Joel, so you went inside.
Once you entered the room, you noticed that it was a little too warm in there for your liking, so you decided to leave the balcony door cracked to get some fresh air.
You put your things away, got into bed, and watched a movie on the TV across the room.
...
You weren't sure when you fell asleep, but you did during the movie without even realizing it. You felt very discombobulated, so you sat in the dark for a few minutes. Your clothes felt disgusting on your body as you sweated through them, and your throat was dry.
You quickly got out of bed, slipped off your clothes, got back into bed, and took a sip of the water bottle that lay next to you. During this, you got a glimpse of the digital clock that sat on the bedside table. It read 12:48.
The house was quiet. You were sure that Maria, Tommy, and your dad were back from the bar by now and asleep. Sarah and Joel were probably sleeping as well.
You laid back down on the bed, pushing away the uncomfortable blanket, leaving your body bare. You should have gotten up to close the door because if Joel were to come to your balcony door, he'd surely get a glimpse of your naked body. However, you were still sleepy and a little high, so you lacked the motivation to get up.
It really didn't matter anyway; he's probably still sleeping.
You had laid restless in the bed, constantly flipping the pillows to get the cool side and changing positions, but you still couldn't sleep. You decided to lay on your stomach; it helped you fall asleep sometimes.
You knew one thing that would definitely make you fall asleep, but with a particular someone lingering in your thoughts, it felt wrong. It is completely wrong to have these thoughts about him.
He's way too old for you, and he's your dad's best friend.
Though you tried your best to resist these thoughts, you couldn't help yourself.
Fuck it, it's not like I'm gonna actually fuck him, you think to yourself.
You were suddenly taken back to earlier, when you first laid eyes on him. Those eyes and the curve of his nose. You wanted nothing more than to feel his beautiful nose rub against your clit while he ate you out.
Or when he shook your hands and you felt those thick, rough fingers against your smooth hands.
You were sure that Joel knew how to use them very well.
Subconsciously, your hips had bucked into the bed, trying to get friction onto your clit causing the headboard to hit against the wall ever-so-slightly.
"Shit!" You cursed out loud, hoping that Joel didn't hear. Your heart was pounding at the thought of being caught by him, but your pussy dripped with your wetness.
You waited a couple seconds until you took your hand from underneath the pillow and slowly moved it between the bed and your body, allowing your finger tips to graze against your pussy. You couldn't help but whimper at the feeling. Your arousal ran down your fingers, to your knuckles, and onto the bed.
What you didn't know was that Joel wasn't even in his room; he was sitting out on the balcony. He had been sitting out there for about an hour or so because he couldn't sleep, not with you on his mind, so he decided to sit out there and bore himself to death until he got some sleep. When he first came outside, he checked on you and saw that you were knocked out. The room was dark, and the only thing that brought some light to the room was the bright moonlight reflecting over the lake.
As Joel got up to check on you one last time before he went back to his room, he heard you let out a whimper. He slowly walked to your balcony door so that he wouldn't scare you in case you were having a nightmare, but that wasn't the case at all. Again, Joel heard you let out another noise.
First, you sharply gasped, then moaned out, "Oh, Fuck!"
Joel became more intrigued with whatever was going on in your room because it became very apparent that you weren't having a nightmare. In fact, it didn't even sound like you were sleeping anymore.
Like a thief in the night, Joel peered through the door that was half open. What he saw before him could've brought him to his knees.
You were lying down on your stomach, fully naked on the bed. He noticed that with your right hand, you were touching yourself. Joel wasn't hard before, but he's definitely hard now. He felt as his cock strained against the fabric of his shorts.
Joel knew it was wrong to watch you masturbate without knowing, but he couldn't take his eyes off of you. It had been nearly two years since the last time he had been sexually active, and quite honestly, it was catching up to him at that very moment. He had been so busy with everything in his life that sex was the last thing on his mind until now.
As Joel watched you hump your hips into your fingers, you were imagining a shirtless Joel sat up on the bed, with you sitting in between his legs. Your legs would be wide open, propped up over his, as you allowed his calloused middle and ring finger to collect your arousal from between your folder and rub it into your clit. With his deep Texas accent, he would be whispering into your ear about how much of a good girl you are and how wet you were for him. Your head would be laid on his sexy, broad shoulders as your eyes rolled with pleasure. You imagined that as he played with your clit, his other hand would touch your breast and quickly tweak your nipples as they continued going up and firmly wrapping around your neck.
You were so caught up in your thoughts and pleasure that you hadn't realized that you were moaning out Joel's name.
"J-Joel, please," You quivered out quietly enough so that you weren't too loud, but loud enough for Joel to hear. "I'll be good, p-please, daddy." You followed up.
Even though you thought that Joel was in the next room over (which he wasn't) and there were other people in the house, you still continued to touch yourself as the headboard faintly knocked against the wall.
Yet you were so blissfully unaware of it all. So unaware of the fact that Joel was standing right outside the door, watching you rubbing yourself completely nude, and unaware that Joel had pulled his cock out while he watched and listened to you.
Joel didn't care that what he was doing was wrong. He didn't care that watching you, this freshly 21-year-old, masturbate without your knowledge was bad.
The sounds of your panting, moans, and dirty talk made him want to walk right into the room and give you the pleasure you needed.
Joel has always been a selfish lover when it came to the bedroom; he liked to be the one who was dominant and always took control. He could tell you needed someone like him to fulfill your desires—not some foolish 20-something year old, but a real man.
As you continued to grind against your fingers, Joel saw how your ass moved back and forth. He wanted to spank you for being such a naughty girl. Touching yourself without asking for his permission. He would remind you that only slutty, bad girls did that.
He jerked his cock at the same speed as your hips moved. "Oh my god, daddy!" You moaned into the pillow, causing it to be muffled. The thrusting of your hips had sped up. You were on the cusp of cumming, but that changed when you suddenly pulled your hands from between your legs and got up to change positions.
You were now lying on your back with your legs bent up to your chest as far as they could go. Using the hand you just used to grind up against, you bring your middle and ring fingers to your mouth. You began to suckle on them intensely, pretending they were Joel's fingers. You could taste yourself as you did so.
A minute later, you pop your fingers out of your mouth and bring them down to your pussy. As you sink your fingers inside yourself, you can feel the wetness, allowing you to slip deeper into your tight hole. You squirmed as you felt a little discomfort due to your fingers. You decided to slowly thrust your fingers in and out, allowing yourself to get used to the feeling. With your free hand, you brought it up to your mouth to muffle your soft whines.
Oh, my baby, she can barely take her own fingers, Joel thought as he watched you.
To Joel's surprise, you still didn't see him standing by the door, hastily jerking himself off at the sight of you. It wasn't like he was being discreet about it either. He was almost fully through the door at that point. Your eyes were closed as you fingered yourself.
Finally, you were able to adjust to your fingers. As you picked up the speed, Joel could hear the wet, slick sounds coming from your pussy all the way across the room. Hearing this only heightens the pleasure for him.
"Joel, I'm-oh my god-I'm gonna cum!" You moaned lowly.
Joel wanted to be the one to make you cry, but he knew he couldn't at that moment.
Your messy wetness had allowed your fingers to go deeper inside, causing you a certain spot. Your legs shuddered as your finger tips grazed the spot. In a 'come here' motion, you continued to hit the spot over and over again. "Fuck! That's it, baby. Keep going just like that." You purred out.
Joel convulsed at the way you said these words. He was ready to cum at any moment, but he wanted to cum with you.
With his hand still rapidly moving up and down his length, he finally heard your release.
"Yes! I'm cumming all over your fingers, Joel!" You moaned a little louder this time. Joel could hear you breathing hard as you continued to ramble about how good it felt.
Instantly, Joel was cumming. He withheld his groans and grunts as the hot cum hit the palm of his other hand. Instead, he was breathing hard through his nose, hoping to God that you couldn't hear him.
Finally, your orgasm began to die down. "Oh my god," You sighed out blissfully, as you pulled your finger from your pussy. Your legs moved from your chest and you dropped down on the bed. You were still trying to catch your breath. With his mind still cloudy from cumming so hard, when Joel saw you move your legs, he thought that you were going to get off the bed, causing him to panic and move away from the door so that you couldn't see him.
You could feel the cum webbing between your two fingers. You decided that you wanted a look, so you opened your eyes and brought your hand close to your face. You could see the bright moonlight illuminate your cum. You'd never come so hard. Not with any of your hookups, let alone when you masturbated.
You felt spent after that, but you needed to get up to clean yourself off. You decided to rest your eyes a bit before getting up, but without even realizing it, you had dozed off into a dreamless sleep.
Less than five minutes later, Joel heard light snores coming from your room, so he decided that it was safe to look again. You were dead to the world. Joel saw your limp hand hanging off the bed—the same one you had used to fuck yourself with. He could see the wetness gleaming on your fingers. He wanted to come over them and suck your cum off of your fingers, but he stopped himself.
The post-nut clarity had hit Joel, and he realized that he must've looked like a creep with his cock out while he watched you sleep. So he closed your balcony door and headed back into the house to wash the cum from his hands.
Joel knew that he would have you one day; it didn't matter how long it took for him to get you. He would get you right where he wanted you eventually.
...
You woke up feeling like a brand new person that morning. Your limbs felt loose, and you felt like you could conquer the world.
You could feel the sun on your naked body as you rose out of bed to stretch. The sounds of people moving around let you know that everyone was awake.
You suddenly realized that the balcony door was now closed. You don't remember getting up to clean yourself, and you definitely don't remember ever getting up to close the door.
Realization had hit you hard, and your heart dropped.
Shit! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
There was no way anyone could have come into your room because you had locked the bedroom door. However, Joel had access to the shared balcony.
He was the only one who could've closed that door.
Whatever, you were going to enjoy yourself this weekend and act like nothing happened.
=============================================
A/N: I had a lot of trouble writing this for some reason, but next one is going to be a lot better. I got so much planned already hehe
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bonny-kookoo · 4 months
Note
Does someone older JK spoil the OC sometimes? Like surprise her with something which he considerd to be nothing it would mean so much to her?
Oh he does, ALL the time! Warnings for a bit of angst, beginnings of a panic attack but Kook handles it well
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"...we can go there again, maybe before new year's if I can get a table on short notice." He simply says as he drives you both back to his place, radio playing quietly in the background.
You're still a little overwhelmed.
He does things like this a lot- expensive dinner dates in restaurants he either knows or wants to try out, randomly buying you clothes or jewelry he finds online and deems pretty, or he just changes things in his house to adjust it more towards you and your preferences. Like the pillows in his bedroom, the by now multiple pairs of thick socks for your cold feet, or the baking supplies he bought for you now stacking up in his kitchen.
It's things like that you're not used to. In the past, it has always been you who needed to adjust and do things for your partner- not the other way around. So now, you feel almost guilty whenever he does something- like a bank account draining, slowly going further and further into the negatives, red numbers piling up and making you anxious as to when he'll want it all payed back.
"Did you not like it?" He wonders, taking your silence as a sign of discomfort as he pulls up on the expressway. "You don't have to lie." He chuckles, reaching out to hold your hand.
"No, it's not that." You deny, letting him warm up your cold fingers. "It's just.. it was a little expensive, no?" You wonder, and he shrugs.
"Was it? To be honest, I don't think it was considering what we ate." He just brushes off. "I've been to steak restaurants that were a lot more expensive and half the quality. And the service was great too, so I didn't mind." Jungkook explains, and it's now that you realize once again that you and him live in quite different worlds. Or at least, used to.
For him, money isn't an issue. He's made and is making enough of it to live comfortably, he doesn't have to really worry about running out of it anytime soon, even if his company was to go bankrupt next week. And he's also got enough saved up, has invested with good tactics in mind, so it's really no wonder he doesn't see a problem in spending the amount that he does.
But you aren't used to that. You have been living paycheck to paycheck with barely anything left over at the end of the month, needing your bonus desperately as to not fall behind on any payments you have to make regularly. You've lost your apartment before, had to sleep at friend's places to get by, and even ate only at the company cafeteria to save money usually spent on groceries. All of this feels almost excessive, and you also worry.
What if Jungkook starts spending too much on you? He shouldn't fall into a habit of mindlessly throwing money out.
"What's on your mind, darling?" He wonders, lifting your hand to kiss the back of it, before he changes lanes.
"I just.." you fidget a little. Jungkook isn't a bad guy. He won't get mad. He won't scold you. You won't have to endure being lectured for the rest of the ride- you know all this, and yet again, the past haunts you and makes your breathing pick up as you begin to chew on your lip.
Suddenly, you realize he's pulling up to a gas station, parking on the side. He gets out to get something from the backseat, before he walks around the car to open the passenger door where you sit, unbuckling your seatbelt. "Here." he offers the bottle of water, having opened the cap for you. "Put your legs out like that- there we go. Breathe baby." He gently tells you, squatting down a bit to make himself look smaller. "Take your time."
You feel embarrassed. How do you explain to him that you were feeling like a kid about to confess a bad grade just now?
"We can keep it a one-in-a-month thing, maybe, if that makes you more comfortable." He proposes. "I didn't take into account that it might be overwhelming to you- I'm sorry." He apologizes, but you shake your head, looking down at your knees.
"I just.." You mumble, unsure how to really explain. "I feel.. back then, you know.." You sigh, having trouble finding the proper words. "Talking in the car makes me.. anxious." You admit. "Because you know, when you get mad.. I can't escape.." You say. "I can't get away from it."
Jungkook kindly takes the bottle away from you to put it on the backseat again, before he's back in front of you.
"Thanks for telling me. I had an idea it might be that, but I wasn't sure." Jungkook says, hands on your knees. "I promise you I'm not mad. And I'm in no position to be mad at you for having opinions or personal taste that might differs from mine. We're two different people-" He chuckles. "-of course we'll have different views on things."
"But I really liked the dinner too." You say. "I just.. I don't want you to start.. spending so much money on me to the point of, I don't know, losing sight of it." You confess. "And maybe, we should keep stuff like this a bit rare? So it doesn't become routine. I want to keep it special.." You say. "I'm not.. I don't really know much about this stuff, because I never had enough money to go to these fancy places, and get designer clothes, or plan vacations in different countries and all that. I feel.. stupid sometimes?" You spill, making him lean his head a bit to the side. "Like, what if you one day take me to a company gathering or something, and someone asks me something and I can't answer or I say something dumb-" You rant. "-or maybe you won't ever take me because I'm too young? Maybe Eve is right and I'm not really the kind of-"
"Baby, darling, stop-" He chuckles, pushing your shoulders back a bit to look at him. "-take a good breath. You're panicking." He worries a little, but tries hard to stay composed as to not make you spiral any further. "Eve is wrong. If you're okay with this, of course I'll take you to company events. Why wouldn't I show off such a beautiful women at my side? I'd never pass up a chance to make those stuck up geezers jealous." He jokes, making your crack up a little. "Let's keep the dinners to special occasions. Keep it special, like you said." He offers, holding your hands now. "And I'm also.. the fact that you worry about me makes me feel.. very special." he chuckles. "I appreciate you looking out for me."
"I always look out for you.." You mumble. "..I just don't want to overstep any lines. You know. Since you're older than me-"
"Just because I'm older doesn't automatically mean that I know everything better." He reassures you. "Our age gap has nothing to do with any sort of power balance. Please don't think you can't speak your mind just because I was born earlier than you."
"..okay." You nod, and he leans forward to peck your lips, before he closes the door for you after you pull your legs back in and buckle your seatbelt, him getting back into the driver's seat to do the same.
"You know.." he starts, as he pulls out of the gas station to continue the drive back home. "..I'm really falling in love with you." He chuckles, dimples of his cheeks showing with how hard he smiles.
"Huh?" You wonder, taken aback by the sudden confession.
"I mean it." He nods. "I really am."
"I'm glad then." You admit. "..cause I am too." You admit, making him grin before he reaches over to hold your hand again.
Knowing that he really won't ever let you go again.
423 notes · View notes
gurugirl · 7 months
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Just For Tonight | Ch. 2
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Series Summary: Harry spots an angel in the crowd and he can't keep his eyes off of her. And, as if by some cosmic pull, he can't help but ask her backstage. But it's only going to be just for tonight. Or is it?
Chapter Summary: Y/n's pretty sure she'll never see or hear from Harry again. They had a fun night but he made it clear that it was only just the once. Except Harry can't seem to follow his own rules.
Warning: 18+ only, smut
Word Count: 10,501
Commissioned by anon (thank you!! xoxo)
Just For Tonight Masterlist
Having a night with Harry Styles was like having one of those hot-girl secrets that only the most privileged were in on. But what that also meant was that she couldn’t really go talking all about it to everyone either.
She would have loved to have posted on Instagram all about it. Bragged about having seen his cock and then having it inside of her. She would have loved to have seen Dyna’s face when she told her that Harry Styles had eaten her out and spanked her. Dyna was one of those acquaintances in her friend group who was smug and pretty but rude. Thought her shit didn’t stink.
And well, she never would tell anyway. Not only would she never brag about what she’d done with someone during sex, but she wouldn’t want to betray anyone that way.
But it was kind of a bummer that she couldn’t talk about it all. Ady drilled her for information and Y/n had already decided that she’d only spill the details to her best friend, whom she could actually trust. Ady was a work friend at best. She trusted Ady, but not with that kind of secret.
All Ady knew was that Y/n had spent the night with Harry Styles. And when she arrived at the office on Monday morning, half of her co-workers had already heard about it.
“That’s why I didn’t give you details, Ady. You shouldn’t be saying anything to anyone.” Y/n replied as she bit into her sandwich. Ady was trying to extract more information from her.
“But I would never tell anyone those details, Y/n! Come on. Just give me something. Any tattoos we don’t know about? Is his dick as big as everyone thinks it is?”
Y/n rolled her eyes and stood up from her chair, tossing the crust of her sandwich into the garbage, and completely ignoring Ady on her way back to her desk.
After a few days, the gossip had died down and Ady had pretty much given up. Y/n was glad everyone had stopped talking about it and asking her uncomfortable questions.
And while on the outside it had appeared Y/n had moved on completely, on the inside she couldn’t stop replaying the night with Harry over and over again.
Especially when she was alone in her bedroom at night.
Y/n had a housemate. She lived in a two-bedroom bungalow with a microscopic backyard, street parking, and the tiniest closet known to man. And still, she could barely afford to make rent each month. But Brad was nice. And he allowed her to pay a little late sometimes. She didn’t often pay late. Maybe a handful of times over the year.
But it also helped that Brad had a bit of a crush on Y/n. She didn’t want to be that person but it came in handy in this case.
“I’m so sorry. I get paid next Friday and I’ll pay you first thing. Just didn’t keep track of my spending again this month.” It was slightly embarrassing. She wasn’t careless about how she spent her money but that month she had the Harry Styles concert, bought a hotel room (which she didn’t even sleep in), and spent a little extra on her cute new bodysuit. She had saved up her money but overspent just a tiny bit. Okay so maybe she was a little careless with her money at times. And she was getting too old to keep living paycheck to paycheck. It was time to start putting money away.
And she couldn’t do that with her current job and all the bills she had on top of that.
Y/n was going to have to find a second job. Anything so she could get her footing and pay off some loans, and then maybe she could breathe a little.
“No worries, Y/n. I’m good for it until then.” Brad smiled. She could tell he was getting tired of it, though. And for that alone, the embarrassment of having to ask if he could cover her part for a handful of days and to see his expression of pity and probably a little bit of annoyance, yeah. It was time to find a second job.
Her cousin was the floor manager at a posh, expensive restaurant downtown that Y/n would have never dreamed of stepping foot into. Not normally anyway. But there was a job opening for a server spot that her cousin had casually mentioned a week prior. She didn’t know if the position had been filled or not and if they would give her that prime weekend shift but there was only one way to find out.
“Y/n! Hi! How are you?” Laren answered chipper and sweet.
“Hi. Uh… good! How are you?”
Small talk commenced before Y/n finally got into the nitty gritty of why she was calling.
“Oh? The server position? It hasn’t been filled actually. We’ve been interviewing, though. You should come in and apply. I can put in a good word.”
The position was for two weekday nights and rotating a Sunday and Saturday every other week with a draw for the occasional Friday night (the coveted night to serve apparently). It wasn’t ideal but she figured she’d at least apply and see what happened.
Y/n had been a server in college so she was familiar with the work. It was hard, stressful at times, but tips could be good with the right tables.
And part of her didn’t want to waitress again. She was already working 40 hours at her office job. This would leave her with very little free time. But she needed to do something because every time she thought about how she was late on rent again it made her cringe and flush hot with embarrassment.
The interview process was fairly painless. And the fact that her cousin already worked there seemed to be in her favor because the very next afternoon she was getting a call to come back in to begin training. She’d gotten the position.
And it was just as hard as she imagined it would be. Shadowing one of the servers felt strange. She started on a Tuesday night since it would be a relatively slow night. Rushing from her office job to get home, changing into her uniform, and then racing through heavy traffic to get to the restaurant gave her a good idea of how it would be for her on the nights she worked during the weekdays.
Her past experience was a blessing. She only needed to shadow for two weeks before they started letting her have her own tables. Everyone on staff was easy to get along with on some level.
She did learn, though, that Vyra was upset that they were letting her take a weekend night shift so early on. Vyra was also a server who’d been at The Dulcería for a couple of years and wasn’t allowed weekend shifts until she’d been serving for a while.
“Tell them I’ll take your ten top tonight. I don’t think you’re quite ready for the level of service you’ll need to provide.” Vyra placed her tray down and faced Y/n as she spoke.
Y/n had just arrived at the restaurant for her first weekend evening shift by herself. She didn’t even know she had a ten top as she’d only just walked into the door.
“I… okay, well, let me at least put my stuff down. I’ll talk to Mannie and find out what he wants before I ask for that.” She was already annoyed. Not ready for the level of service… Just for that comment alone, Y/n was going to make sure she kept the table and was the best damn waitress that ten top could ever have that night.
“I’m telling you that it’s going to be better for you to just give me the table. We’ll switch off. They’re gonna be here all night.”
Y/n put her purse in the locker and turned to look at Vyra, “How do you know they’re gonna be here all night?”
“Because the reservation was very specific about how long they would be here. Probably someone famous honestly. Just tell Mannie you’re giving me your section.”
Sighing as she clicked the lock into place and tied her apron around her waist she shook her head, “We’ll see.”
Y/n checked the schedule for the night and realized, the only table that she was assigned was the ten top Vyra had mentioned. Which was interesting. Looking at the name on the reservation it didn’t ring any bells for her as to who could be in the party that would require her to stay with them all night but she knew she could take care of the table on her own. Even if they were famous and picky and maybe demanding. There were only ten of them. And it was her only table.
After the first two guests had arrived and were brought to the table by the hostess, Mannie signaled to her to greet them at the table and get some drinks started.
“You didn’t tell Mannie to let me take over. You didn’t even ask. I think it’s in your best int–“
“I’ve got it, Vrya. I appreciate your concern but I’m fine. Really,” she spoke as she neared the private area of the dining room where her table was.
“No. I don’t think you understand, Y/n. You’re new at this–“
Y/n stopped abruptly and Vrya nearly ran into her, “Stop. I’ve waited tables before. And Mannie wanted me to have this one. Just… go back to your tables and give it a rest.”
The pair at the table were dressed extremely casually, which was unusual for the restaurant. Most people entering the doors of The Dulcería wore designer and dressed appropriately in smart casual.
“Hi. I’m Y/n. I’ll be taking care of you tonight. Would you like me to get you started with anything? Wine for the table or appetizers for when everyone else starts to arrive?”
The young woman at the table ordered three bottles of wine to start and a handful of appetizers. Easy enough.
When Y/n returned to the private area with a cart full of wine and water she stopped in her tracks. More of the party had arrived but now she recognized two of them. She blinked her eyes and swallowed as she felt her heart rate pick up before pushing the cart forward again and closer to the table. She could be seeing things, she told herself.
As she neared the party she honed in on the man with his back to her with chocolate brown curls and broad shoulders. Was this…? It couldn’t be.
And yet she was sure it was. Based on the fact that she was looking right at Jeff Azoff and his adorable wife Glenne… She gulped as she parked the cart at the edge of the room and plucked up one of the bottles of red wine to uncork.
Carrying the bottle and a glass of wine toward the young woman who ordered it, she was suddenly aware that all eyes were on her as she turned the label side out toward her. But before she could pour a taste sample the young woman pointed at the man with his brown curls at the other end of the table, “It’s his to taste.”
She let out a quick breath to ground herself and closed her eyes for only a moment before turning to see those bright green eyes already on her. The big grin on his face told her he recognized her immediately. Of course he did.
She smiled, taking a step back, and slowly walked toward Harry to give him the first taste of the wine.
Pouring the liquid into the glass slowly as she stood to his left Harry finally spoke, “I didn’t know you worked here. How have you been?”
Okay. A standard greeting. Even that alone got her heart aflutter. She wasn’t sure if he’d act like he didn’t know her or if he’d greet her kindly. She would assume the latter but of course, one never knows in these circumstances.
“I’ve been well. This is actually a new job for me. And uh, how about you? How have you been?”
Harry sipped the wine and nodded, “S’good. Thank you. I’ll have a glass of this one,” he cleared his throat while she poured a serving for him, “And yeah… I’m great. Thank you. We should catch up soon,” he leaned in closer and finished his thought, “Kind of wish I’d gotten your number.” He spoke the last sentence a little softer so only she could hear.
For the duration of the dinner it was difficult to have any kind of real conversation with Harry while she was taking orders and running back and forth but each time she returned Harry made sure to get in a comment or ask her a question. She noticed the looks from a few of the people sitting around the table.
Heading back into the kitchen to grab their meals she noticed Vrya walking toward her side of the restaurant where the private dining room was. By then, all the servers heard about who was in the private dining room. Most didn’t make a fuss about it but a couple of them were curious.
With the tray loaded she delicately walked back toward her guests and spotted Vrya next to Harry and chatting. Technically Vyra wasn’t allowed to speak to guests at Y/n’s table unless she requested help. It wasn’t a big deal normally, but since Harry was a celebrity, a famous pop star, it would be frowned upon. This wasn’t some Deux Moi tell-all Sunday sightings gossip rag. This was a posh, upscale restaurant where wealthy people and celebrities came to enjoy a quiet meal without being disturbed or spotted. Mannie was not going to be happy about Vrya taking it upon herself to check on Y/n’s table. She couldn’t wait to talk to Laren about Vyra as well. She wished her cousin was there that night so she could vent but she’d be calling her about this later.
Placing the tray onto the stand Y/n frowned at Vrya as they made eye contact, “I was just seeing if everything was going well. Since you’re new and all,” Vrya laughed and looked down at Harry, “Plus having such a big star here we need to make sure service is perfect.”
Harry smiled at Y/n, “Y/n here been more than perfect. You’ve nothing to worry about. I’m sure we all agree,” he gestured toward everyone at the table, “we are in the most capable hands here. Couldn’t be happier.”
The fake smile on the intruder was telling as Y/n began to bring dishes around the table, “Thanks for checking in on me Vrya. It’s unnecessary, though. I’ll call on help if I need it.”
Standing up straight and nodding at Harry she walked behind Y/n and whispered, “His water glass is low,” and then exited the room.
Y/n had no idea what she’d done that would have Vyra acting like such a child. She was polite to Vrya but she really wanted to yank her hair out and shove her out the window for sticking her nose into business that wasn’t hers. But she figured she was better off ignoring the whole thing.
“So, Y/n…” one of the guys at the table spoke up, “We hear that you and Harry met at a recent concert. How did you enjoy the show?”
She felt her neck get hot as she fumbled with the notepad in her apron pocket, “Oh… it was awesome. Yeah. I gave him a pair of sunglasses that he wore that night on stage. That’s pretty much how we met. Brought a co-worker with me. A blast. It was the first concert I’ve been to.” She smiled and then quickly corrected, “First Harry Styles concert that is!”
The look on Harry’s face was cheeky. He was holding in an obvious grin on his face as he gazed at her. She was a nervous thing in this setting. Harry remembered quite well how sure of herself and confident she’d been that night. How she was practically dominating him, leading everything that happened. Mostly.
And even though he made it clear that what had happened was just for that night, he realized he’d been fantasizing about her a lot since then. In fact, every time he touched himself his thoughts made their way to Y/n just before he could come. He hadn’t even slept with anyone since. Not that he’d been holding out for her or anything. He had been thinking about her a lot, though. Missing her even. He was quite delighted that she was his server and that he happened to meet her once again. It felt like fate maybe.
And Harry was a big believer in fate and the universe shifting and creating space and paths for humanity. He was a believer in karma and destiny and intertwined lives. And so because of that Harry was sure this meant something.
When the restaurant was shut down and the servers were calling it a night, Y/n was clearing the table and refilling the last of the wine for everyone. She was told not to rush them, and she had no intention of doing so. She was enjoying the table. Everyone was polite and easy to please. There were no difficult requests or off-the-wall dietary restrictions.
Though Harry was particular with his order (the man was clearly eating strictly healthy which made sense given the state of his body, which she was quite acquainted with) it was easy to accommodate. Plus his presence had set her in a good mood. He was gentle and sweet and everyone in his party was the same.
And the way Harry kept looking at her, as if he knew something she didn’t somehow… a teasing grin, slightly stifled… she was all nerves and butterflies and big smiles. It had been an amazing night at work. It hardly felt like work at all.
Exiting the bathroom after a much-needed bladder release she walked up the hallway but was stopped short when she heard his voice, “What are you doing after you get off?”
His deep rasp had her tummy boiling as she turned and saw him leaning against the frame where the hallway met the corner of the entry to the kitchen. Stepping back toward him she looked up at his sharp green eyes and shook her head, “Going home.”
That smirk, the one that hid what he was really thinking deep down slowly widened until he was grinning full-on, “Where’s home?”
Looking behind her and then over his shoulder to make sure no one was nearby she squinted her eyes at him, “Why do you want to know?”
Harry sighed and softened his stance, putting his arms down to his sides, “Because. I was gonna ask a follow-up question and figured it might be important to know if my place is closer or yours.”
She let out a soft laugh in surprise and now her ears were growing warm, “At this hour… A fifteen-minute drive away.”
Harry nodded and reached a hand out to her apron, pulling gently at the bow, “Got it. Would you be interested in having me over tonight?”
Cocking her head and keeping her eyes squinted in scrutiny she responded, “And why would you want to come over to my place?”
She felt like this was obvious. She could have answered this question on her own. But she wanted to hear it from him. Wanted to be sure she was on the same page as him.
He leaned in and lowered his voice, keeping a finger looped into her apron’s bow, “Seeing you tonight has reminded me of how much fun we had. I know I said it was only a one-time thing but maybe we could make it a two-time thing,” he smiled broadly and shrugged.
Harry was a confident guy. He wasn’t typically turned down. In fact, on the rare occasion he was turned down it usually had nothing to do with him. So he was pretty sure Y/n would be happy to have him. But even as sure of himself as he felt, he was feeling his nerves peak at the idea she would say no.
“A two-time thing. Okay… well I do have a roommate. His bedroom is connected to the wall next to mine. Privacy is an issue. If you’re okay with that then I’d say… sure.”
Harry let out a laugh through his nose, though it was more out of relief than due to anything being funny, “What makes you think I want to be in your bedroom? Maybe I just wanted to stop by for a movie. Or we could bake cookies or something.”
Harry laughed at the obvious nonsense he’d just spewed. They both knew what this was.
“Oh? So you want to like watch a movie and bake some shit? I’m down with that. I don’t think I have the ingredients to make cookies or anything but I’m sure we could stop somewhere and grab flour–“
Harry pinched at her hip and stepped in close, “I was kidding…”
Now it was Y/n’s turn to laugh before she straightened her back as much as possible and put on a serious face. With his proximity, she was bent slightly back to look up at him, “You were? So you mean you don’t want to bake cookies with me?”
Harry’s grin and his hands at her hips were soft, “I don’t want to bake cookies with you. I want to get you in bed again.”
Well okay. There it was. She knew that’s what it was but to hear him say it out loud had her head spinning and her heart pounding.
She nodded, “Right. So… how do we do it? You want me to drive or…?”
Harry shook his head with a laugh, “Give me your number.”
.           .           .
Harry and his crew left before Y/n did. She’d given him her number and he texted her back right away. It was surreal. Just like how she felt the first time she met him. She almost didn’t believe it was happening.
Vyra was cold for the rest of the night but after the huge tip left, Y/n could understand why. Harry’s table had been her only table of the night. Her shift was only four hours but they stayed the entire time. She figured Vyra knew that some celebrities tipped well and wanted in on that.
In fact, the tip had been so big she had to sit down when she realized the number written in the tip line with a small smiley face next to it. She’d have a talk to Harry about this. It was far more than necessary. Even after splitting the tips up between the kitchen and the bussers in the system, it left her with enough money to cover rent and all her bills for a month. Yeah. Excessive.
She texted Harry the minute she parked her car in front of her house. It was well after midnight. She wasn’t sure he’d actually come, still in disbelief about it all. The fact that he was there and that she was assigned to that table felt like pure luck. Fate if you believed in that kind of thing. Which she didn’t. Not normally anyway.
His return text came back quickly.
On my way.
Quickly showering off her sweat and the smell of cooked food then shaving her legs she tried to calm herself down. The night with Harry in the hotel room she’d been perfectly groomed and ready for anything that might happen. Not that she expected it that night, but one never knows. Going to a Harry Styles concert and having the chance to catch his eye wasn’t something she’d half-ass. She never in a million years would have thought he’d have pointed her out while he was singing and then proceed to bring her back to his suite. But he did.
And this evening, she wasn’t fully groomed but smooth legs and clean bits were the least she could offer in such a short amount of time. She laughed to herself as she thought about it all. Wondered if he’d even care if she was a little sweaty. She wasn’t going to chance it.
When he texted that he was out front she took a few deep breaths and looked in the mirror one last time just to be sure before dashing to the front door as quietly as possible (so as not to wake Brad) to let the famous pop star into her small, rented bungalow.
She gestured to Harry with a finger to keep quiet, “My roommate is sleeping. Do you need water? The bathroom?”
Harry’s grin revealed that he needed only one thing. And neither had anything to do with what she’d just offered.
“I take it no baking cookies, then?”
They grinned at each other as she led him to her room.
Her bedroom was cute. She had cream curtains that draped down to the floor, a wooden dresser with a framed photo of Y/n with her family atop, a coaster from a local bar, a box that appeared to be a jewelry case, and a carton of tissues. Her bed was made and the comforter looked fluffy with a pretty pink and yellow flower pattern all over it. Framed prints of plants and flowers on her walls and a standing lamp in one corner. A closed door, which was definitely hiding a closet behind. A nightstand on either side of her bed.
“Cute,” Harry spoke as he looked everything over and then brought his gaze back to the woman he’d been fantasizing about since their last night together.
“Yeah. Uh… this is it.” She shrugged and felt her tummy warm up under his scrutiny. He was staring at her and she knew he was there for one thing only.
Sitting on her bed she sighed and attempted to lighten the mood, “So… that tip was way too big, Harry. I can’t possibly accept such a thing. I don’t think–“
Harry shushed her as he sat down and took her hand in his, “Nonsense. You are an amazing server and deserve every penny of that. Probably more even.”
His light eyes were scalding. Every inch of skin he took in she felt sizzle.
“Thank you. Just feels weird. Especially now that you’re here…” she laughed quietly.
“Now that I’m here? What do you mean?” His fingers wound into hers, his thumb moving along the edge of her hand. Such an innocent gesture, giving her goosebumps. Though she was well aware his intentions weren’t innocent.
“I mean… Like you just gave me a bunch of money and now you’re in my bedroom,” she smiled and tried to maintain eye contact but it was hard with how gorgeous he was.
“This is separate from that, Y/n. You should know that. I just missed you which is why I wanted to come here. You’re just really good,” he looked at the bed and then back to her, “You know… in this setting.” He grinned wide.
“In this setting?” She laughed at his words and shook her head.
The grin dropped from Harry’s face as he brought his free hand up to cup her jaw, “Can I kiss you? I missed these lips so much. I’ve been thinking of them since that first time with you.”
Nodding her head she felt him pull at her thigh just as his lips found hers.
Things had shifted since the last time she saw him. Somehow it felt a little different. Maybe more intimate in some way. It was probably because they were in her bedroom rather than a hotel suite, and this was the second time they’d be seeing each other in this context. But there was something else there too. She was feeling… less sure of herself. She still had the confidence she needed to kiss him back and unbutton his shirt, but unlike last time when she was feeling very forward, this time something kept her slightly reserved.
And Harry noted her softer demeanor. He didn’t mind it, though. In fact, this time he was feeling like he wanted to show her how good he could be. Give her a taste of him taking the lead and maybe have her begging him a bit. He was in a bit of a mood that night. He was glad that he saw her in the restaurant because it’d been a month since he’d gotten laid (and it just so happened the last person he’d had sex with was Y/n) and she was the only girl he could think of that would scratch the itch he had.
Y/n was pressed back into the mattress as Harry pulled her sweatpants off, “Do you want to feel good, Y/n?”
She nodded and puffed a laugh out, “Well… yeah…” She thought that was an obvious answer and the way she responded told Harry she was mocking him.
Harry paused the movements of his hands as he stuck his fingers into her panty’s waistband. He cocked his brow up at her in warning before he popped her thigh with a smack. She laughed and sat up with her mouth dropped open in surprise.
“Behave. I was just asking a question. Wanna try that answer again?”
She swallowed and blinked her eyes, “Yes, Harry. I want to feel good.” She smirked at him. Her answer was still lined with cheek but he’d give her a pass. He wanted to see her.
He smiled and nodded before proceeding to pull her panties down her legs, “Good. Because that’s what we’re here for. To feel good. Take your shirt off for me.”
Y/n was relieved that Harry seemed to pick up where she was lacking. She didn’t know what had her feeling so permissive but they seemed to be on the same page. She peeled her shirt off over her head and Harry spread her legs apart, fitting himself in between her thighs.
He was still mostly dressed. His shirt was unbuttoned and his jeans were undone. Both Y/n’s doing, but that was as far as it had gone with getting him out of his clothes before he stopped her and began to tell her he was going to get her naked.
“Can you take your bra off too? Need it all off.” He waved his hand toward her chest as he directed his sight to the space between her thighs. It felt so vulnerable to have him clothed while she was naked. But she did as he said and removed her bra for him.
The dim lamp in her room kept everything visible. Harry could tell she was already a bit wet. The gleam peeking out from her labia had his tummy on fire. He couldn’t wait to feel her again. Slip his cock right in and drive into her. He imagined he’d need to keep her mouth covered while he was fucking her to keep her quiet because he recalled how loud she was the first time they’d been together.
But before he could indulge himself in feeling the juicy stretch of her around him, he was determined to have her come in his mouth and on his fingers first. She didn’t orgasm when he ate her out the last time and that was something that stuck with him. He had nowhere to be the following morning and given that it was a Sunday he figured she was free as well so they could play for a lot longer this time around. Not that that stopped them from having a good romp and then a quick fuck in the morning the last time, but he planned to take his sweet time with her now.
He smoothed his hands up her thighs and licked his lips, “I’m gonna lick your pretty pussy until you come and then if you’re still well behaved maybe I’ll let you taste my cock for a bit before I fuck you. How’s that sound?”
She nodded and moaned softly, “Mmm… That sounds so good.”
Harry smiled and pressed his thumb over her clit and gently began to rub back and forth, “It does doesn’t it? I missed this with you, angel. Can’t believe I thought it was just going to be the one time. Seems as though fate had a different idea.”
She scrunched her brows and an ooh feel from her mouth at the feel of his thumb on her clit and his soft words.
Harry leaned over her body, the fabric of his shirt dragging over her tummy as he dipped down to wrap his mouth around her pebbled nipple. She craned her neck back into the soft pillow and sighed at the feel of him on her. His lips on her breast and his thumb on her wet nub.
By the time he’d licked and sucked the expanse of both of her breasts, she was completely on edge. On fire. His teasing thumb gently rolling her clit back and forth was making her lose it.
“Fuck… please, Harry,” she whispered as she stuffed her fingers into his hair. He lifted off her breast and looked up at her, “What is it, angel? Please what?”
“I just… I want you to fuck me. Now.”
Harry sat back onto his haunches and looked at where his hand was at her pussy. All wet and shiny for him, “What did I say?” He looked back into her eyes, “Don’t you remember what I said I was gonna do first?”
She let out a shaky breath, “I do. I just thought you could skip it if you wanted. Really want to feel you again.”
He kept his thumb working her clit as he groaned, “I want to feel you too. But I have to have a go at you first. Want to put my mouth right here,” he slid his thumb upward and pressed down, “and make you come.”
Her tongue poked out from her lips as she kept her mouth parted. Heavy lids and wiggly hips.
Harry loved the way she looked. Like she was ready for whatever was to come. She was desperate for him and he already had her saying please. He loved a little begging when he could get it.
“Little tongue coming out to say hello,” he reached forward and pressed his finger onto her pink muscle and she immediately wrapped her lips around his digit. His own mouth dropped open at her desperation. Her tongue pressed into the pad of his finger and she sucked him in.
“Shit, angel. I’m gonna make you feel so fucking good. Okay? Don’t worry.”
He felt her lift upward into his hand and he got the hint. She needed something.
Pulling his finger out of her mouth and taking his hand from her pussy he pulled his shirt off over his shoulders and knelt down, pressing his fingers through her crease, coating his digits in her slippery essence.
He looked up at her face as he plunged two fingers into her hole and then lowered his mouth over her cunt and she bellowed loudly before putting her arm over her mouth to keep herself quiet. She’d have to keep herself in check with the noises but her concern about Brad being right next to her room was slowly dissolving.
Harry chuckled into her labia as his tongue slipped up and down, lapping at her arousal.
It was soft but every time he puckered his lips and ran his tongue up and down her clit she felt a spark lighting up her insides.
Her moans were muffled under her arm. But she was so wet that everything in her room sounded exactly like what was happening. Harry’s lips and tongue and fingers moved through her wet labia and creamy arousal and she wished she could record the sounds to listen to later.
Harry’s heart was pounding in his chest and he curled his fingers and dragged the tips along her soft ridges on the inside. He flattened his tongue over her clit and slurped before quickly sweeping his tongue back and forth. Her little squeak was a good sign. He smiled.
When he felt her fingers in his hair, pulling gently she began to roll her hips into his face. He lifted up to take a look at her as much as he could with her fingers on his head. She was gorgeous. Her wet pussy was smeared all over his face, her tits swayed softly as she arched and writhed, her hair was splayed out across her pillow, soft thighs parted.
Then he noticed the way she was fucking herself down onto his fingers. Her hips began to move faster and her pathetic mewls were falling muffled from her mouth.
Harry lowered his lips back to her pussy and she sighed in relief. But he only applied a sloppy kiss to her mound before looking back up at her. He moved his free hand up her body and pushed her arm off her face, tilting his head up to speak, “Keep your eyes on me, angel. You can be a good girl stay quiet. I know you can,” he pumped his fingers into her as he spoke against her pussy in hot breaths.
She adjusted her body slightly, using the pillow to help keep her neck angled so she could watch him. To keep her eyes on his. She gasped and tried to stifle her moans as she watched him dig in with his whole face.
His pretty green eyes were mostly pupil, dark with only the edges of crystal green surrounding. She put her other hand into his hair and cradled the back of his head. The hand he wasn’t using to finger her had her thigh held down, his fingers pinching into her soft skin.
But then he used his tongue to move quickly back and forth over her clit while thrusting his fingers deep, curling into the right spot. And there was something about his eyes watching her that made her flush hot. His steady gaze seeped into her brain and wrapped itself around all those bits that supplied dopamine and caused a craving that would be hard to shake.
His fingers were stuffed so deep inside of her that she knew he must be getting his knuckles drenched. Probably his whole hand given how wet everything sounded. The bend of his fingers inside of her and the pressure on her clit, when he sucked her, pulled a loud groan from her lungs. But it didn’t stop him from continuing the sloppy lapping and slurping.
Pulling his hair tighter between her fingers she bucked her hips into his face and tried to close her legs slightly by instinct. Harry kept her one thigh pressed down hard and he used his shoulder to hold her other side down.
She cried out, “Oh god!” And threw her head back, removing her eyes from Harry’s just as she felt the spark turn into a harsh current that began to tip her into the edge of her orgasm. She knew it had been too loud. Knew that it might have woken up her housemate but she was too far away from caring about that just then. Her pussy was being snacked on in a way she’d never experienced in her life.
Harry dug himself in deeper when he could tell she was close. Her loud cry and the quiver of her thighs were a good sign. He kept at what he was doing and looked up at her soft tits as she arched her back and moaned his name.
When she began to clamp down on his fingers and her moans moved into a steady stream of whining and whimpering and her muscles tensed he knew he’d gotten her to come finally. He allowed her to have her eyes closed because he could tell it was intense. He’d have her watching him next time he made her come on his cock.
Which reminded him of what sort of state he was in. His hard dick was painfully achy. But the anticipation for what was to come had him reeling as he licked her through to her end, keeping his fingers inside of her, working her until she slowed her hips and loosened the grip on his curls.
He sat back, grabbing her hands from his hair, and looked over his handiwork. Her pussy was ready to be fucked. She was ripe for more. He knew she’d be good for another orgasm. Her body was made for this.
When she finally opened her eyes she giggled as he leaned over her frame. His face was all wet. His chin, his cheeks, and his nose were shiny with her. She followed him with her eyes as he climbed over her.
Somewhere in between her coming and right then, he’d removed his pants and boxer briefs. His cock hung heavy over her face, “Open.”
She was flat on her back as she opened her mouth for him, reaching a hand up to grasp the base of his cock to guide him to her mouth. She felt his warm tip against her lip, the smear of his precome and her slippery arousal wetting the edge of her mouth before she wrapped her lips around him.
The groan he let out was the sound of pure sex. She had barely done a thing but she was already smiling to herself at the way she made him whine.
Harry held onto the headboard with one hand and used his other to grasp the back of her head as he pushed himself down into her throat. He’d only dip in a few times. Make her swallow and gag around him once her twice because he wanted to fuck her. Wanted to feel her again.
She closed her eyes when Harry’s tip dragged against the back of her throat. He pumped himself into her a few times and she swallowed as she gagged around him. The whimper he let out made her brain swirl. She was thoroughly enjoying having her throat fucked. He wasn’t going in too hard but he was taking control of her and dipping in until she was coughing and drooling.
He pulled himself out and looked down at her, moving his hand up to her cheek with a grin, “My god, angel. Just so fucking perfect.”
She was still catching her breath. From her orgasm, from having his cock in her throat, from the intensity of the moment…
She could hear him ripping the condom wrapper open before he was back in view. He sat between her legs on his haunches as he softly moved his palms over her thighs and up to her hips, “Gonna give me another one? Come on cock this time?”
She planted her gaze on his and nodded, “Yes…” her words were a whisper.
The cheeky grin Harry returned to her had her heart fluttering. He was so painfully attractive she felt like this was all a dream.
“Good. Need you to keep your eyes on me this time, okay?” He paused as she nodded, “Want to watch your face when I make you come. Might have to cover your mouth if you get too loud like you just were. Is that okay?”
Another quick nod and a moan told him she was on board.
Harry moved his hands up her sides, pressing his fingers into her soft skin and up to her breasts, kneading at them for a moment before lining himself up to her hole, “Look at me.”
They kept their eyes locked as he slowly pressed in past her tight opening. Harry knew that if they went without a condom he might come inside of her and not want to pull out. If she felt as good as she did with a condom, he knew he’d be falling in love and down on one knee if he felt her without.
Her puffy, juicy pussy was taking him in just as he remembered. He had to work himself in and out a bit before he finally got himself into her balls deep. He would have loved to tuck himself in further but he was halted from his thick, full balls.
“Feel that, angel?” He groaned quietly as she nodded nodded in gasps. “Yeah? It’s so fucking deep, isn’t it? Love the way you spread open for me,” he rocked into her and pulled back, listening to the slick sounds it made.
He put his palms on the mattress with his body leaned over hers, using his strong back and thighs to fuck into her as deep as he could. He just wanted to be stuffed inside of her guts, fucking into her as far as humanly possible. And she felt that too. It was deep. The sharp ache made her keen but the drag of his pelvis against her clit felt otherworldly.
Her thighs were pushed back, bent at the knee as Harry laid himself into her over and over again. Thick, deep, languid strokes.
“Ahhhh!” She cried when he smacked into her, pushing her upward slightly.
Harry groaned and kept his eyes on hers, “Yeah? It’s that good, huh? Gonna have to cover your mouth now because I’m about to go a little harder.” She wanted harder. Liked soft too, but hard stuck around for days. Loved the feeling of having her pussy fucked so good she was reminded of it later on. Just like the first time they were together. She felt him every time she sat down or stood up for two days. Felt the leftover ache on her thighs and the burn on her bottom.
Harry angled himself down, pushing her thighs apart further with one hand and covering her mouth with his other. And his sudden punishing thrusts had her eyes going wide. It hadn’t been expected so quickly but he got right to it.
He could feel the vibrations of her moans against his palm as he buried himself in and pulled back to his tip before he hammered back into her repeatedly. Long, deep, fast strokes.
She was already rolling her eyes into the back of her head. He wanted her to watch him but he’d give her a small break and make her open them when she was coming. He wanted to watch her face and her eyes as she reached her peak.
Her bed creaked and the springs danced loudly. Muffled sounds of moans and the wet slap of skin filled her bedroom. Harry didn’t necessarily want her roommate to hear them but he did enjoy all the noises that came with sex. And in all honesty, they were both being as quiet as possible given how hard he was fucking her.
His thighs burned from the thrusts and his back muscles held himself steady over her, “Listen to that, angel. Our bodies connecting like that. How wet you are for me…” he moaned his words as he watched her face screw up in ecstasy. Her muted noises were stifled with his palm as he wrecked her insides.
She felt every inch of him taking her. Every slip and thrust, drag and pull, every deep nudge inside… She opened her eyes to see him already looking down at her and she nearly lost it. His hair was in his face, curls swaying, sweat building at his temples, his arms were flexing as he held himself up over her, his chest flushed and glistening from the intensity of his thrusts into her. He was so strong and so overpowering she felt like a rag doll under him flopping and grunting under his hand. She was just a hole to fuck as she clenched down on him when he pasted his hips to hers and rocked inward sharply.
“Keep those eyes open, angel. I can tell you’re about to come on my cock and I need you to look at me so you know who’s making you come,” he spoke his words through gasped breaths as he pushed into her deeply, slowing his thrusts so he could control his own orgasm. He was too close and he knew she was nearly there.
He rocked his hips into hers he ground himself down when he stuffed himself in fully, making sure her clit was being smushed against for friction. Repeatedly he fucked her little hole with slow plunges and smoothed against her clit. Every time he screwed into her to the hilt he felt his balls pressing into her bum, being wetted by her creamy arousal. He keened at the feel of her around him. Every little ridge of her insides taking him in like they were made for that very thing had him spinning.
Harry removed his hand from her mouth. He wanted to see her whole face as he fucked into her. Wanted to watch her mouth drop open as she creamed on his cock when she came, wanted to hear her cries, fuck anyone else that might hear. In that moment it was all about his angel and how good she was feeling. All he cared about was that she was being taken care of and that he was making her feel as good as she deserved.
“Harry, please… oh my god please…” she gasped as she clung tight to his back. His cock inside of her felt full and had her walls tingling and fluttering. She was reeling with pleasure and having him inside of her. Never wanted that feeling to go away. If she could bottle it up and take it with her she would. So she tried to stave off her orgasm for a moment longer.
“Begging me, baby? Want to come so bad don’t you? But it feels so good like this doesn’t it?” He used a hand to hold the side of her face as if he were being gentle with her. As if he wasn’t fucking into her deep with harsh ruts inward that had her gasping for air. His words and his soft touches and his hard cock were doing her in.
She tried. She really did. She wanted to have him fucking her like that for hours but she couldn’t hold on any longer. She began to moan, starting with a low, quiet sound, until she was crying out his name and shaking under him.
She kept her eyes open but found the task difficult as she started to come. And she realized that watching Harry while she came only intensified her orgasm. Her head swirled with his handsome face hovering over hers, looking directly at her as he made her come felt like she was being dominated in a way that she’d never experienced. He hadn’t tied her up or whipped her or anything like that, but it was the sensation of being watched while she was coming that made her feel like he was taking control. The experience of having the man who was making her come as he looked down at her at that moment felt like he’d claimed her as his. He was watching his own work come to fruition and it was a dominant act.
“Fuck, angel. Just like that. Come all over me. She me how good it feels.”
Y/n babbled an unintelligible response and moaned around her syllables and vowels. She didn’t know what she was saying as she forced her eyes to stay on his.
And it had been worth it to keep her eyes open when she saw Harry’s face pinch up and his mouth drop open. She could hear his groan and the harsh thuds into her cunt before he stilled and clenched his teeth as his cock throbbed inside of her. He was coming and she got to see it on the tail end of her own orgasm and it was the hottest thing she’d ever seen.
“Ahhh!” He panted as he sucked in a deep breath and choked out a loud moan. The release was heaven. He came so hard he wondered if it could be possible to leak out of his condom. He pumped and throbbed and worked himself to his end as he looked down at the pretty angel under him all fucked out and smiley on his cock.
His chest heaved as he twitched the last little bit and his features relaxed on the comedown. He kept himself over her as he began to smile, “You okay?”
She was melted below him, a soft smile on her lips as she nodded, “So fucking good. Oh my god…” she whispered.
Harry gently pulled himself off of her and checked to verify that he hadn’t in fact leaked out of his condom before pulling it off and tossing it onto the floor. He’d deal with the cleanup later. In that moment he needed to hold her and kiss her for a while.
She felt her body pulled against his and then his lips caressing over hers. Soft and reassuring. Her orgasm had been intense. Maybe the most incredible orgasm she’d ever had. The eye contact was something she hadn’t expected. She thought it would feel silly. At first, it made her feel vulnerable but when she could tell how much he needed it, needed her eyes on his it felt like a rush. Adrenaline coursed through her veins and she came so hard.
She kissed him back and put her hands up to his shoulders. Lazy and soft and sweet.
Harry pushed his nose into hers and spoke softly, “That was really, really good, Y/n. You don’t mind if I stay the night here, do you?”
Shaking her head she scraped her nails against the nape of his neck, “I want you to stay. Please.”
.           .           .
Waking up in her bed with Harry next to her felt like a wild fantasy. She considered pinching herself as she fluttered her eyes open and saw his sleeping face smushed into her pillow. The night before he’d been a sex god. A man so fine with a masculine and well-muscled body that he made her mouth water and her clit throb. He’d fucked her so good and it was so hot it gave her goosebumps just thinking about it. But there he was lying in her bed asleep, pink lips and glossy eyelids, small puffs of breath coming from his nose, and adorably messy hair. She couldn’t quite wrap her brain around how he went from the man who took control of her the night before to the soft, cute, sleeping beauty the very next morning.
He asked if he could stay. Said he wanted to be with her a little longer. And that was the part that really stuck with her. Sure he was handsome and then some. They got along so well and everything felt so compatible with him. And that was a problem. Because he wasn’t just some guy. This was Harry Styles. She couldn’t go getting her feeling too mixed up in everything. But he made it hard with the way he treated her and handled her. Like they’d known one another for an eternity.
On their first night together it was clear that what they were doing was just something fun and that was it. Which she was fine with. She happily accepted his terms then. Just as she happily said yes to him staying the night this time. Whatever he wanted she was fine with it. Well, she hoped she’d be fine. Because she was sure he’d never get his feelings mixed up with sex when it came to her.
Gently putting her fingers into his hair she saw his eyelids move and then slowly he graced her with his gorgeous eyes and then a soft smile.
He didn’t say anything before he dragged her the short distance to rest her head on the pillow his head was on and kissed her.
And it went from a quiet soft morning make out to Harry’s erection poking into her hip and then scrambling for a condom with messy hair and soft sighs to a slow break of day fuck.
The springs in her bed bounced gently with every thrust of his hips. Harry kept his mouth glued to hers as he drove into her soft, wet pussy. All of her blankets had been kicked to the floor in a rush for the condom and switching positions on the bed and now it was just two bodies at the center finding relief and catching an early orgasm before their day began.
Harry rocked into her, his cock so hard and thick she felt every single inch of him moving into her and slipping back before he languidly pushed in until his hips met hers. She had her ankles crossed over his back and Harry had one hand cradling the back of her head, his mouth covering hers while his other forearm kept himself held up slightly, his chest against hers.
She gasped under him, reaching for breath every time he thrust into her. His own panting grew more desperate and soon the first sound of his voice was heard for the day, a whimpered moan falling from his throat as he felt her walls taking him in with a decadent squeeze and wet squelch.
Morning sex was always Y/n’s favorite, but it turned out it was Harry’s too. It was less fussy really. Just two tired bodies wanting to connect and feel pleasure in the golden morning light. No preamble or big to-do. Just soft morning sex and a delicious orgasm to get the day started off right.
The moment Y/n’s moan grew loud and Harry felt her cunt spasming and pulling him in deeply he let go, spurting into his condom and licking into her mouth as he throbbed in ecstasy.
And just like the night before and the first night she’d spent with him, she was amazed. Maybe it was the shape of his cock or their natural chemistry. Or maybe it was just Harry, but somehow the sex with him was beyond just good sex. She was going to be haunted by this man.
When he pulled out he held her thighs apart and lapped at her gently, just for a taste. Just to enjoy one more little squeal from her throat, which she immediately gifted him.
“Harry stop! I’m too sensitive!” She pushed at his forehead and he smiled up at her before collapsing onto the bed next to her.
He hated navigating relationships because being famous already put his life under a microscope. Most of the time it wasn’t worth it to keep seeing someone for sex unless it was a person he knew feelings would never be a problem with, and they could both have the understanding that it was just sex. But that was rare for him. Harry was all or nothing with sex usually. It was either a one-time deal or he’d want a long-term committed relationship. And the latter was complicated for someone with his lifestyle. His last long-term relationship was something he’d take with him forever. He considered it a lesson learned. And for him that meant needing to be very picky and selective about whom he let into his heart.
No more mixing business with pleasure and then taking on the guilt of having a public break-up. No more women with super complicated lives that he could get mixed up into.
He felt like he was treading dangerously with Y/n. He didn’t want to hurt her and he didn’t want to get himself hurt either. But he could see himself being with someone like her. He liked her spice and her straightforward demeanor. She was confident and funny. She wasn’t the type that he’d be able to keep his feelings separated from the sex with. He was already getting attached.
“What?” He asked her. She was lying next to him, they were sharing a pillow and she had a small smirk on her face as she gazed over his features.
“Nothing. It’s stupid,” her grin didn’t fall off her face.
Harry brought a hand up to her jaw and he thumbed gently toward her temple, “Tell me. I like stupid sometimes,” he laughed.
She bit her lip and looked away from him for a few moments before putting her eyes back on his, “Your song, Watermelon Sugar. It’s about cunnilingus?” Her smile widened feeling ridiculous asking him such a question but she couldn’t get it out of her mind. Ever since the night before when he made her come from eating her out (a rarity for her) and then that morning after they’d had sex when he went in for a quick lick.
Harry laughed and nodded, “I guess. Yeah. Why?”
“Cause you just seem to really like it.”
Harry took in a deep breath and moved his hand down her side, “I love it. Is that okay?”
She looked at him like he was crazy, “Of course it is. Very much so.”
She wasn’t ready to say goodbye. Harry had been fun and sweet. And to know that this famous man could have anyone he wanted yet he chose to spend the night with her felt like something quite special. Something she wouldn’t get the chance to do ever again. To have him in bed at all was a crazy notion. But to have it happen twice?
“I want to see you again. When I get back to LA in a couple of months. Is that okay?” He said as he pulled her in for a hug before they left her bedroom. His car was waiting for him.
His words shocked her. Again?
“Oh. Yeah… Sure. That would be fun.” She was surprised. Stunned. If he wanted to see her again what did that mean? Was he thinking of her as more than just someone to have sex with?
“Well, geez. You don’t sound very enthusiastic about it,” he laughed as he pulled back from the hug.
Shaking her head she grinned, “Just didn’t expect you to want to see me again. You’re gonna be gone for months. I mean… I’d love to. Of course. But you know… No pressure.”
“Of course, there’s no pressure. I’m just saying I’d like to see you again if you’re free when I return to LA. That’s all.”
Letting out the breath she’d held in she nodded, “Yes, Harry. I’d really like that.”
Harry smiled softly and put a hand up to her face to press his palm over her cheek as he looked her over, “Gonna miss you, angel. Wish I could take you with me.”
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pinkthrone445 · 2 months
Text
-Abbott's house-
Tumblr media
Pairing:Melissa Schemmenti x Reader
Gender:Fluff, funny, soft
Warnings:none(?) future smut
Summary:The district gives the school the idea of spending a month living together to strengthen bonds, you never thought that would change your relationship with some so much.
Hi! This is an interactive story, if some thinks about something funny that one of the people of Abbott would be like to do, and you would like me to introduce it in the second part of the fic, you can leave it on the comments. I hope you like this part!
Abbott's shenanigans
There are a lot of things that influence the relationship we have with people, spending a lot of time together, going on vacation together, going on dates, being with someone when they're sick and taking care of them, having a fight or a problem that requires assistance, living together, and so on. It could change the relationship for the worse or strengthen the existing friendship, or sometimes even make love grow.
You and your Abbott classmates commonly spent a lot of time together at work, so you never thought that living with them would make much of a difference, but you were wrong and didn't know how much until Ava walked into the teacher's room accompanied by Janine to make an important announcement.
-"Please, if I can get your attention... I have an important statement, as the vacations arrives, Abbott will begin to do a month of interaction together to reinforce the fellowship and friendship between us so we can work better together as a team an as a family, you can say that you do not want to go, but keep in mind that it will be an all-paying month in a shared house, the groups will be 8 people per house, which if everyone says yes, this group will be a house shared by Melissa, Barbara, Jacob, Gregory, Ava, (Y/N), Mr. Johnson and I"-Commented a very excited Janine seeing everyone-"The house has 5 rooms, so some will have to share a room and others won't, we will fix that later depending on who says yes... It also has 1 private bathroom per room and a large one downstairs, it has a fully equipped kitchen, a dining room and living room with television, a terrace, a patio and a heated pool... The only thing you would have to bring is the clothes you would use, personal towel and any hygiene items you prefer besides personal medicines... You will also have money to go shopping, there will be group activities and you will have 2 days completely free to do whatever you want or go visit your family. If you want to be part of this, talk to me or Ava and we'll write you down, I hope you take advantage of the time the district decide to give us something for free..."Janine muttered the last part before leaving the teacher's room, leaving you all a little surprised with the news.
Immediately the murmurs and questions began
-"Gregory let's go together and share a room!" - Jacob murmured excitedly, grabbing his friend's arm
-"I don't know... I have my day to day planned even to what I eat, it would be a big change" - he replied without much conviction
-"Please! If we do this I'll have one more month to find a new apartment... Besides this will help me with my breakup...You know how sad I've been"-Jacob was using the pity card and Gregory knew it, but he loved him too much to say no...
-"Fine, but you better keep the room clean" - Gregory muttered under his breath, and Jacob jumped and danced happily
-"Are you going Barbs?" - Mel asked her friend she shrugged her shoulders
-"I have to ask Gerald first, but if I go, I want a room to myself so I can use my breathing machine... You?" - Barbara asked
-"I think maybe...I'm very bored alone, it will be a good distraction... You?"-Mel asked you this time while you were eating
-"I want to... I mean, paid vacation? Count me in, besides I don't have anything else to do"-You smiled looking at the redhead.
Little by little, everyone else got on board with the idea of spending the vacation together, so before you could think about it much more, you were already driving to the house where you would spend the next month of your life.
You were one of the first to arrive, even though there were already two cars in the driveway. You carefully unloaded your bags and walked inside the house, suddenly finding Ava and Janine talking and arguing.
-"Hello girls..."-You whispered trying to go unnoticed and not interrupt or get involved in the discussion
-"(Y/N)! Welcome!" - Janine yelled, walking away from the principal and getting closer to you-"All the rooms are assigned already... Yours is the one to the right in the second floor, you can settle in and when everyone arrives, we will handle you sheets with the schedule for the month, Okey? Enjoy" -The petite woman barely let you say hello before going back to her chat with Ava. You carefully brought your bags up and noticed that you had a shared room, although you still didn't know with whom.
After settling everything in, you felt more people arrive at the house and before you knew it, your roommate had walked through the door
-"Hello roommate" - Mel muttered, leaving her bags on her bed and smiling at you
-"Oh, hi Mel... I thought you will be sharing a room with Barb... I mean, sorry, from everyone that I could got, I'm happy it's you..." - You muttered a little embarrassed
-"Yeah... Barbara wanted a room to herself, but Ava and Mr. Johnson asked for it first, so Barbara was assigned with Janine, Gregory, and Jacob together and you and me together..."-The redhead began to unpack her bag as you looked at her
-"Do you want me to swap rooms with Barbara so you are together? It's not a hassle at all" - You responded, helping her with her stuff
-"Don't bother, Ava did this because she wants us to strengthen our bonds with people that we don't get together as much, so we are stuck together... Also, Ava did this arrangements because she wanted a whole room for herself"-she muttered, arranging her clothes on one of the furnitures
-"Okey... Do you want to set some ground rules or something? I don't wanna bother you"-You asked sitting on your bed looking at her
-"Just by saying that, I already like you a thousand times more... I just don't want the light on after 12 if possible and dry the bathroom thoroughly after a shower. I think that's it. You?" - she commented, turning to look at you and you shrugged your shoulders
-"I don't think so..."-You muttered before you pulled out one of your books and started reading while she sorted out her things.
The week began to pass normally, each one received their activity sheet, which included movie nights (each one would choose one movie per night), you had physical activities together, walks, reading nights, month game night, each one was assigned a place in the house to clean and other chores together. Everyone would have to cook or go shopping from time to time. Take some classes for school, etc.
It would be a busy and interactive month.
Your coexistence with Mel was going well, more than well, the fact that you didn't make her angry so far said a lot.
When the first movie night rolled around, Jacob chose the movie "It", which you tried to avoid because you didn't like horror movies and because you hated clowns, but Ava said it was a must-do activity so you had to stay, although the truth was that she wanted to laugh at how scared you were.
Before the movie started, you made popcorn for everyone and sat next to the redhead who was the only empty spot on the couch. Mel smiled at you and covered your legs with the blanket she had, sharing it with you.
At first you avoided watching the movie by looking at your phone, but Ava told you to turn it off so you no longer had any distractions, nervously, you started playing with your fingers but Mel noticed your fidgeting, carefully she took one of your hands with hers and intertwined her fingers with yours smiling at you
-"It's okay, it's just a movie, I'm here with you..."-she whispered close to your ear, making you blush. You never thought that sharing just a couple of days together would make the redhead more fond of you and want to take care of you.
The rest of the movie you saw it without letting go of her hand and shaking a little when the damn clown appeared, witch was all the time.
At the end of the movie you were one of the first to go to your room, as soon as you entered you lay down on your bed and started watching cartoons on your cell phone trying to get the face of the damn clown out of your memory. Mel carefully entered the room and stared at you tenderly, you looked like a small sacred child
-"Are you watching Bluey?" - she whispered, trying not to alarm you
-"Yes... I hate clowns and now I'm scared and I won't be able to sleep if I'm like this... Don't laugh at me please"-You muttered in shame and she shook her head
-"Never... I'll go take a shower, you can leave the lights on tonight if you want..."-She responded taking off her clothes in front of you, seeing her in her underwear made you forget your fears for a moment, it wasn't until the redhead walked through the bathroom door that you came back to reality and back to your cartoons.
After a few minutes, the room filled with the scent of flowers when the redhead came out of the bathroom, you followed her with your eyes waiting for her to go to her bed, but instead she stood in front of you
-"Move a little, give me a little of room, I'll sleep with you so you don't get bad dreams"-Mel suggested and you gave her space a little confused, thinking maybe she was joking. She carefully climbed onto your bed with her pajamas on and gently hugged you making you snuggle on her chest, consciously or unconsciously, this was making you feel safe and calmer.
Your heart began to beat more slowly and your head stopped thinking, her hands gently scratched the back of your neck and the beating of her heart over your ear made you breathe more calmly and steady, even the darkness and silence of the room provided a calm atmosphere now that she was by your side.
When Mel began to feel like you were falling asleep, she kissed your forehead gently
-"Good night hon, I'll take care of you..."-She whispered before you fell asleep completely.
Unable to believe it, you slept through the night without any nightmares, and when you woke up Melissa was still by your side sleeping and cuddling you. Not wanting to wake her, you tried to gently snuggle closer to her. You couldn't believe how good she smelled and how beautiful she looked while she sleeps. When you were about to snuggle up on her chest, her voice startled you
-"I'm already awake hon... Good morning" -she commented in a thick voice making you blush
-"I'm sorry...I...it's just that you're so warm that I wanted to get closer to you... Besides you smell so nice..."-You began to stutter from nerves that you had been caught in your attempt to be close to her-"I didn't want to disturb you, just feel your warmth..."-The redhead snuggled you with her arms putting you close to her chest making you shut up by being almost between her breasts
-"I said good morning... And you didn't answer" - She commented in a raspy voice
-"I... I'm sorry, good morning Mel" - You replied and closed your eyes taking a big breath to etch her perfume into your memory
-"Did I help? Did you have any nightmares?" - She asked and you shook your head with your eyes still closed-"Good... Do you want to go cook breakfast together?" - She asked again and after a few seconds of thinking, you nodded. Although you'd like to stay in that bed for as long as possible, if you said something, you might make her feel uncomfortable. Gathering all the strength in the world, you sat up on the bed and stretched out your arms under the watchful eye of the redhead.
After the two got ready, you went to the kitchen with the redhead to make breakfast. No one was up yet, so that gave more peace and quiet to cook. You and the redhead worked together like a well-oiled machine, it seemed like you had been cooking together for years as you saw how you helped and understood each other. The redhead put on Italian music and was surprised when you started singing, seeing you with different eyes than she did a few days ago.
At the time you didn't know it, but that month would be one of the most intense and crazy where your life would take a 180-degree turn, changing everything, especially your relationship with your coworker and roomie.
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carmyboobear · 3 months
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ALEXITHYMIA CH 1: onions, weed, and pizza
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Roommate AU: Carmy Berzatto x Reader (R18)
ao3 link ch 2 ch 3 ch 4
Summary: Carmy can’t put into words how he feels about his roommate. It’s only been a couple months, but here he is looking forward to going home and sharing a smoke with them. That’s all it is, though. There are no underlying feelings, none at all, even if everyone around him has something to say about it. 
Or: Carmy is repressed as ever, but through the combined power of vulnerability, weed, and the horny, Carmy too can find love. 
Tags: hurt/comfort, friends to lovers, mutual pining, slow burn, cursing, yearning, repression, SO MUCH REPRESSION, angst, mental illness, canon-typical imagery, unresolved tension, for now, virgin carmy, use of weed, alcohol, all that good stuff, carmy character study, eventual smut, gender neutral reader, nonbinary reader, up to you
A/N: HI I've never posted fic on tumblr before but i deeply love Carmy...please enjoy!!!
CHAPTER 1: onions, weed, and pizza
It always stays the same. 
This is the thought that Carmy has when he wakes up, gasping for a chance to just catch his breath and keep it. It’s a kitchen knife twisting like a lock and key in his chest. It fits just right, as all awful and familiar things seem to do.
No matter how many times he wakes up, he’s never anywhere different. That drowning feeling suffocates him in his sleep and follows dutifully into his waking hours. He can’t remember when that haunting started, only that it’s always been with him.
He hates feeling like a drifter, like he’s lost (even though he is both of those things), so he picks a goal and runs after it like a monster. He’s an animal, hunting and working and bleeding until he fucking makes it work , because that’s who he is, and that’s who he’s always been. He can’t not make it work. Because if he can’t do it, then…then what was it all for? 
What is he even for?
These are the thrilling thoughts that serve as the background music to the swirl of his cheap morning coffee, oils rotating in a slow circle. He thinks about getting a nicer brand next time he goes grocery shopping. But that would mean change. That would mean less money on the restaurant, too.
Yeah, so it tastes like shit, but it doesn’t matter. Even if it mattered once. Less and less matters to him these days.
Mornings in Chicago are not technically quiet by definition, but when compared to other times of day, they are. Especially when most of his day is spent in the kitchen wringing out his throat. It isn’t bad to have a quiet morning by normal means, but for him…
The quiet is dangerous.
It’s not silent, but it’s not enough. There’s distant beeping of impatient cars. The whirring sound of the old AC unit. He tries to listen to them, but his rampant thoughts nonetheless rise above them all, buzzing everywhere with nowhere to land. 
A brief analysis of his thoughts reads as such:
Beef sandwiches eggs flour shipment Michael cigarettes smoking sore throat late shipment so tired not sleeping Michael Sugar Mom coffee tastes bad it’s too early my stomach hurts Michael fucking hates you Michael Michael Michael Michael Michael you piece of shit you fucking ki—
“Mornin’, Carmy.”
Until his roommate wakes up, that is. 
When he moved back to Chicago, there was a fact, plain, simple, and unchanging. He wasn’t gonna make rent on his own, not with the restaurant. Not with everything. So maybe he didn’t need to deal with a new roommate, but it’s not like there was a choice. It seemed bearable, survivable enough.
He keeps waiting for the thing that’ll make him grit his teeth, make him regret not getting a place on his own, but it never comes. They’re easy to live with. It’s so easy, as a matter of fact, that it feels strange. The difficulty that he was so certainly expecting just isn’t there. 
If anything, he looks forward to being at home. For someone who lives at work, that feeling is completely foreign.  
They don’t steal his food (not that there’s much). Instead, they cook him food, leaving heated leftovers on the stove on late nights. In Carmy’s case, that’s most nights. They don’t bring over obnoxious company and keep him up with the noise. Rather, he basks in their company, and they make a ruckus between their laughter. Their presence doesn’t stifle him, it soothes him, just like the candle they leave lit in the kitchen for him when he comes home.  They’re not just easy to live with, they’re good to live with, and that’s…
That’s been a hard adjustment, Carmy would say. It’s too much of a good thing that he’s not sure what to do with himself.
On those late nights, they’re usually fast asleep by the time he’s home. But as he sits and eats the leftovers they’ve kept for him, he wants to say something. Something about how a long time ago, there was once a Carmy who cooked for himself, who looked after himself, but that he’s not that Carmy anymore. That it doesn’t matter that he’s a five star chef and they’re just some guy in the kitchen, as they would put it, because he’s…
He’s grateful. Incredibly so.
And yet, the words will never come out. He feels the words tingling on his lips, but it feels scary. He can thank them as many times as he likes (which he does) but it will never capture what he’s really trying to say when he says thank you . There’s too many words, and it just can’t…it just can’t—
It always stays the same. 
“You’re up early,” he says to them when they enter the room. It’s a rare sight to see them up at the early hours he frequents. He sees the morning drowsiness in their mussed hair and big t-shirt stained with hair dye. They yawn back at him, nose scrunching.
Cute , he thinks, and he stamps it down as soon as it flashes through his mind. 
“Randomly woke up.” They fall into the empty seat next to him on the couch, and they rub at the crust around their eyes. “About to head off to work?”
“Unfortunately, yeah,” he replies. There’s a certain sentiment that lies on the tip of his tongue, something about how he wishes he could have a slow morning with them instead. Of course, he can’t voice it. He can’t even come close.
“The plague of the working man,” they sigh. “Well, I got an idea that might cheer you up.”
“...And that would be?”
“Let me paint you a beautiful picture,” they start. They clear their throat and gesture widely with their hands. He notices their chipped nail polish, the writing callus on their middle finger. “Imagine this—you come home from work, tired. You need to relax —something you need to do more often,” they add with a pointed look.  No comment. “And I have dinner ready. Some sort of soup, pasta maybe. I need to check the fridge.” They pause with a yawn. “And before we eat, we smoke a big, fat joint.”
He snorts as they finish, unable to hold back a laugh. 
“That’s a nice picture,” he admits. He doesn’t remember when he started smiling. “Y’know, I was wondering when the joint was gonna pop in.” 
“You fucking know me, man,” they reply, blooming with his interest, his smile. Not that he can perceive that. “So? Thoughts? Haven’t done that in a while, right?”
“Right, right,” he echoes faintly. His mind is already sorting through the pile of tasks on the schedule. “Well, I gotta go over this new recipe with Marcus, today,” he mutters, partially under his breath. “But before that, ingredient orders. And those invoices before the end of the day—and that, that toilet guy was supposed to come today…I think?”
“Dude, I do like, one task, and the day’s over for me,” they say sympathetically, and the look on their face is so serious that Carmy struggles to hide his smile. “You’re crazy.”
“I, I’ve seen you do tasks,” he argues. 
“Name one,” they argue back.
“You did two loads of laundry and did the dishes all before lunch time once,” he says, the memory clear and instant. “And when I woke up, you were vacuuming the whole place.” The immediacy surprises him, and it seems to surprise them, too. 
“Damn, I said name one , but I guess I’m just that good!” They laugh, a breathy, exasperated sort of thing. “Well, point taken. Anyway, it sounds like you’re not gonna be home early tonight.” 
“It is a Friday,” he says, “but…”
“But.”
“Can’t make promises I can’t keep,” he sighs, and shame melts over him like butter on a stainless steel pain. This isn’t anything new. 
“I know, I know,” they say, gracious as ever. “It’s okay. Such is the life of a business owner, yeah?” He searches for some thinly veiled shred of disappointment, frustration in their expression, but he doesn’t. No matter how many times he lets them down, the explosion he’s waiting for never comes. They remain patient, collected through it all. 
Says more about him than them, he supposes. 
“Yeah,” he mutters, “such is the life.” 
“C’est la fucking vie,” they say, and he laughs with a shake of his head. 
It can feel strange to laugh. He worries that the lightness in his chest will expand like a balloon, and he’ll float away. It’s uncontrollable, foreign. It should be scary, how his emotions lead him when he’s around them, not the other way around, but it’s not. 
It’s not scary to loosen up around them, and that’s the scary part. There are no words to describe why. All he can see is that the fear exists, stubborn and persistent. That fear is what makes him snap out of it, makes him look at the clock. He holds back a sigh. 
“Time to go,” he mutters, and they nod.
“And time for me to go back to bed.” They salute him. “Best of luck with your day, brave soldier. And just shoot me a text if you do end up coming back early, ok?”
“Yeah, sure. I’ll try. And, thanks. You, you too,” he gets out. He stands up, readjusting the waistband of his pants. “I’ll, uh, see you later.”
“See you,” they say through a yawn, waving at him from where they’re lying down. They’ve taken his spot, sprawled across the couch, tangled hair flayed out on the pillows. 
Cute , he thinks again, and hearing the thought in his brain makes him wanna panic. 
He doesn’t wanna panic, doesn’t wanna think about it at all, so he nods, shuts the door, and heads out to work with a cigarette hastily lit in his mouth. 
By the time it’s Carmy’s lunch break, he swears his vocal cords must have snapped by how tight he was wringing them. 
The soreness has never stopped him from lighting a cig, though. As he stands outside in the back, finally forced to go on his 30, he smokes rather than eating. There’s a sandwich in his pocket, one that was bearing the brunt of test ingredients. He can feel the aluminum wrapping at his fingertips. 
Eventually, he does eat, though, because he sees the way his hands are shaking when he flicks his lighter. He doesn’t wanna shake when he uses a knife, so he eats. He tastes it, but he doesn’t really taste it.
In truth, he wasn’t even planning on taking his lunch break at all. Most days, he forgets about it. The kitchen’s always busy, there’s always something missing, there’s always something that hasn’t been prepped that’s ruining everything, the lights in the hallways keep flickering because they need to fixed, Fak’s supposed to fix them, but he can’t, because Richie’s still out getting the replacement bulbs, the pile of papers on his desk are bigger than he remembers, he doesn’t have enough fucking time—
But then he’s in the middle of chopping an onion, and the cutting board slips. The half-chopped onion and its sliced offspring scatter on the floor with the cutting board. The sound of its fall draws Sydney in like a whip. 
“You okay? Need a bandaid?” Sydney’s already kneeling by him, helping him pick the onions off the floor. 
“I, I’m fine, didn’t drop the knife,” he explains, and it feels like an ocean current is rushing by his ears. “Fucking, I just—such a stupid fucking—” He sucks in a breath and goes silent. 
His entire body feels tight, wound like a spring. He can barely fucking breathe. 
“Hey.” Carmy turns his intense stare from the onions to Sydney, and when he sees her searching expression, he remembers himself. “Maybe you should go take your lunch break.”
“No, I’m fine, really,” he repeats, and he feels like he’s heard this before. From someone else. He can’t remember. Who was it? “The onions—we’re behind on onions—”
“I can handle onions for 30 minutes,” she interrupts, decisive and firm. “Seriously.”
Carmy’s about to say something, but then he’s looking at the onion half in his hand. His hand is shaking. 
“Okay,” he sighs after a beat. “Okay, yeah. Sorry. For fucking up.”
“It happens. We all have our moments.” She shrugs. When he keeps standing there, she makes this shoo-ing motion with her hand. “Go on. Take your 30!”
So here he is, taking his lunch break a whole hour later than he’s supposed to. Although it’s better than most days where he doesn’t take it at all.
She wouldn’t have had to tell you to take a break if you didn’t fuck it all up, he thinks to himself, eyebrows knitted together. When the last time I’ve fucked up something so fucking easy?
He thinks about his dream from last night. A familiar sight of red fire and flames up to the ceiling, crackling so loud it sounded like screaming. The only good part is that when he woke up, he wasn’t at the stove burning his place down. It hasn’t happened at this apartment yet. Carmy hopes it never happens. 
Just get it together, he thinks. He aggressively taps the ash out onto the decrepit ash tray they have in the back. It’s full. You’re supposed to be at this shit. So just be good.
“Cousin.” Carmy snaps his head up, and Richie’s at the door, stepping out. His presence yanks him out of his inner whirlpool, a quickly descending spiral. “Gimme one.”
Wordlessly, Carmy hands him a cigarette. Richie plucks it out of his hand like a flower.
“You had a lighter, but no cigarette?” Carmy comments, squinting at Richie pulling a busted up red lighter from his jean pocket. 
“Shut up,” Richie mutters, but there’s no heat behind it. “Got the wrong damn light bulbs,” he explains unprompted. 
“Alright,” Carmy sighs. He has so little energy that the frustration bypasses him completely, diving instantly into deflated acceptance. “Just return ‘em.”
“Can’t,” Richie says, and when Carmy gives him a look, he elaborates, “no receipt.” 
“ Dude .” Carmy opens his mouth, but then he shuts it again. It’s just not worth it. “Thanks anyway, cousin. We’ll get it done.”
“Don’t fuckin’ thank me, you asshole. I didn’t do shit.” Richie nudges him, but like before, it’s not an angry thing. “Also, toilet guy’s not comin’ today.”
“The fuck? Why ?”
“Canceled,” he replies simply. 
“Fucking hell,” Carmy mutters under his breath. “Did he say when he could reschedule?”
“Not yet.”
“Great.”
“Yep.” Richie tilts his head up, blowing out a slow stream of gray cigarette smoke. “Might as well wait for Fak to get his ass back in town at this rate.”
“I guess.” Carmy sighs. He thinks about all the things he still needs to do. “I dropped this onion I was chopping, earlier,” he mentions out of nowhere. 
“Okay.” Richie gives him a look. “And? You bitches chop those things up faster than I could cut one in half.” 
“I dropped it on the floor,” Carmy tries again, but Richie’s expression remains unchanged. “I never do shit like that.”
“Well, cousin, you did.” Carmy feels something in him deflate. “What’s the big deal?”
“Nevermind,” he replies, because he’s a coward. “Just—just forget it.”
Silence. The spark of a lighter. 
“I’m gonna leave early,” Richie says, like he can just do that. Which…he can, Carmy supposes. “If no one’s gonna show up, what’s the point?” He slaps Carmy’s back, and Carmy doesn’t watch him as he heads back inside. 
Guess all I need to do later is get rid of those papers on the desk , Carmy thinks to himself, idly moving the shortening cigarette between his lips. Then that’ll be it, I guess.
He doesn’t remember the last time he’s gone home early. It’s hard to even imagine what he does on days like those. Sleeping, probably.  There’s nothing much else for him to do, not with how tired he is—
Shoot me a text, okay?  
He hears them in the back of his head all of a sudden, and he remembers. 
Oh, he remembers, hands moving to take out his phone. Almost forgot.
“Sorry to bother you, chef.” Carmy’s not sure how he didn’t hear the door opening. Marcus’ head pops out, nose covered in flour. “Just wanted to let you know that we’re gonna need more flour for tomorrow.”
“Order’s not gonna come for a couple days. I thought we had an extra bag left,” Carmy tries, but the guilty look on Marcus’ face explains it all. 
“Dropped it,” Marcus grimaces, and Carmy’s already fucking over it. 
“We’re all fucking up today, chef,” Carmy replies, and the day goes on. 
. . . . .
It’s a strange, delightful miracle, but he manages to get out of the restaurant before the sun sets.
Considering their collective track record, the fact everyone was able to leave early was cosmic intervention. It helps that the toilet guy didn’t come, in an unfortunate way, but still. Standing outside of the restaurant in the evening like this feels…weird. 
It’s not that Carmy’s complaining about a nice thing, it’s just that he wasn’t prepared to have anything good today.
Shower, dinner, and weed, he thinks absentmindedly on the way home. He juggles the three around in his brain. Just the thought of it feels like relaxing. A little.
With company , his brain helpfully adds, and his stomach squirms. 
Self control, he thinks. He needs more self-control. He can’t just keep thinking of them so indulgently. He’s not allowed to think of them that way, because it’s not fair to them. Even if no matter how many times he chastises himself, it never works. Even if they remain in his brain like sun-spots in his vision. Even if it’s not his fault that he just can’t help it.
The thing is, though, it always is. Even when it’s not his fault, it actually is. Always.
You dropped that fucking onion , his brain helpfully adds for no particular reason. Fucking loser.
Fuck off , he thinks back as he approaches his front door. Predictably, it does not stop.
Just as his fingers search for his keys in all of his pockets, he hears something that makes him pause, hands stopped on his waist. It’s music, distant and muffled. They’re probably listening to music in the kitchen. He stands, trying to place the song, but he doesn’t recognize it. 
He does recognize the voice that’s singing over the music, though.
Oh, he realizes. That’s them.
The way their voice clumsily layers over the music shouldn’t make him pause like this. He shouldn’t be doing this, standing in the doorway and listening rather than opening the door. The keys are in his hand. This, this is a breach of privacy, he tells himself, feeling a little dizzy with distress, he just needs to just—
There’s an abrupt, loud clang, and he shoves the door open.
Concern is on the tip of his tongue, but it dies there. The source of the noise lays face-down on the floor—a pan sitting in what seems to be tomato sauce. The matter next to it is what makes the words evaporate from his lips, like they were never there at all. 
They’re kneeled down next to the pan, paper towels in hand, but all they’re wearing is an apron. 
His mind blanks. He thinks he stops breathing. He’s never seen so much of their skin at once. He needs to look away, he thinks, but his eyes keep traveling, traveling, and traveling. It just happens so quickly. He doesn’t mean to look, he doesn’t, but they’re right there and he can see right down their—
“No, I—I’m sorry! I didn’t know you were coming back early!” They exclaim, quickly crossing their arms over their chest, and that’s what makes him tear his eyes away. 
“I—I thought I texted you,” he says quickly, hot face turned to the side, “on my lunch—...“ He stops there, the memory reconstructing itself. 
He forgot.
“It’s fine, I just feel bad about dinner, and, uh—okay, I’m just gonna change real quick, and then I’ll clean this up,” they reply, words rushing out. In the corner of his vision, he sees their bare legs dart to their room.
It seems wrong to just stand here staring at the tomato sauce slowly expand outwards on the floor, so he cleans it up. A couple paper towels later, he’s gotten most of it, and they’ve returned with a change of clothes.
“Sorry,” Carmy starts right as they also go “I’m sorry”. He pauses, meeting their eyes. It’s a lot easier now that they’re wearing leggings and a t-shirt as opposed to, well, nothing. Not to say he doesn’t appreciate the leggings. 
“Sorry you had to see me like that,” they sigh. “I don’t—I don’t usually walk around the place naked, I just—I didn’t think you’d be back—“
“I should’ve texted,” he interrupts. He struggles to not think about them walking around the living room naked. “I forgot. But it, it’s fine. You’re fine. Really. Sorry for not texting.”
“Okay. Cool.” They exhale, a tired noise. “And it’s okay. It happens.” They look at the floor and make a sound of surprise. “Did you clean this up?” The look they give him has far too much gratitude, and it feels like a searing hot iron.
“Yeah, uh.” His hands are moving like he’s trying to explain something, but no words crop up. “Felt weird not to.”
“Well.” They smile, grateful. “Thank you. That was gonna be dinner, but…” They trail off, looking at the floor with a sour expression. “I fucked up.”
“It’s just that sort of day today,” Carmy mutters.
“Shitty day for you, too?” 
“Yeah. Lots of shit went wrong.” Especially me, he thinks, but he doesn’t say it. “You?”
“Gotcha.” They shrug. “As for me—yeah. Really not my best day. It was just, uh, some family shit. You know how it is.”
Carmy makes a sound of acknowledgement. “That sucks.” He doesn’t know much about their family other than that they’re fairly shitty. It’s the same the other way around, too. 
“It’s whatever,” they say, even though it really isn’t, and he knows it. They look at the floor one more time before looking up at him. “Do you just wanna order pizza or something?”
“Yeah, I do,” Carmy replies, his words coming out much more despondent than expected. 
They settle on some pepperoni pizza from a place down the street. It’s a tried and true method—they deliver, it’s cheap, it’s oily, it’s cheesy, it’s good. Just talking about it makes Carmy taste it on the tip of his tongue. 
“You can go and shower if you want. I’ll get the door when pizza comes,” they offer. They’re standing at the sink, sleeves rolled up. 
“Okay, thanks.” Carmy pauses then, gears turning. He’s vaguely worried his memory is going to shit. “Did—did I just say I was gonna shower?” 
“Oh, no, you didn’t, you just always shower when you get home from work, right?” They say it like it’s the weather, like it’s familiar, and that’s when Carmy realizes because it is. After several months of living together, of course they’ve picked up on his habits. It doesn’t need to be a thing. There’s no reason for it to be a thing.
“I do,” Carmy replies faintly, and for some reason, that’s all he can say. 
“Thought so.” They look at him for just a moment, but it makes him feel like his body’s gone transparent. “I notice these things, you know.”
“Yeah.” Carmy looks at them when they turn back to the dishes, back facing him. “You do.” 
He tells himself he’s not gonna think any harder about any of it. He’s not gonna think about the singing, the apron, the way they just notice these things, but then he does. 
He’s in the shower, and he thinks about everything.
The water pressure is pathetic, but the warmth still feels nice. Between that and the sound of the running shower, it’s usually enough to quiet his thoughts. This time, though, it doesn’t. To his credit, he does try to think about anything else. 
He thinks about work, because he always does. He thinks about flour, about onions, about knives. He thinks about the shampoo lathered in his hair. He thinks about those lightbulbs they still need to get. He thinks about food. He thinks about them. He thinks about pizza. He thinks about the way they sing when no one’s around. He thinks about the way they know him. 
He thinks about them, knees on the floor only in a—
He thinks of bashing his head into the tile wall until he explodes.
“Shut the fuck up,” he whispers to himself, rivulets of hot water trailing down his forehead and dripping off his lips. “Shut the fuck up.”
The soreness is still present in his body, but that never quite goes away. He does feel a bit better now that he doesn’t have sweaty, sticky skin, though. It gets even better when he puts on a clean white t-shirt and his favorite sweatpants. It’s a nice surprise from his past self who did his laundry for him. 
This amount of niceness is okay. This is what he’s used to—a shower and comfortable clothes when he’s home from work. That’s enough.
He steps out into the kitchen with a damp towel on his head. He finds them sitting by their one shitty window that opens, pizza box in front of them and joint lit. It casts an orange glow to mix with the golden light from the window. 
“Hey, pizza’s here!” They slap their hand on the greasy cardboard box. “Just got this joint started for us, too.”
“So you weren’t gonna smoke it all on your own?” He doesn’t mean to tease, but he does. He slips into the seat across them, arms resting on the table they placed by the window. 
“I couldn’t smoke this whole thing even if I wanted to,” they protest. “Besides, joints are made for sharing. Here—now you get to take it. Isn’t that nice?” With their elbow propped up on the pizza box, they hold up the joint to him. The lit end of it sizzles a bright orange, emitting a thin trail of smoke up to the ceiling. 
“That is very, very nice,” Carmy agrees, taking it carefully from their fingers. Their face spreads into that contagious grin of theirs, and he’s far from immune. Sometimes he smiles so much around them that his face hurts, rusty and unused. 
Sure, he can blame that on the weed, but if he’s being honest with himself (a rare occasion), that’s a complete lie. Obviously the weed lessens the tension, the stress that winds him up tight. It’s not just the weed that gets him to relax, though. 
It’s them. There’s something disarming about their presence, something that makes him loose-lipped around them. Even when he’s sober, he finds himself feeling comfortable. He’s not quite sure how that happened, or if that’s ever happened. He supposes that isn’t a bad thing. Just something he’s noticed. 
He wonders if they’ve noticed. 
“You like the new rolling papers?” They tuck their knees under their chin, propping their feet up on the chair. 
“Hm.” Carmy lowers the joint from his mouth to give it a good look. He rotates it around in his fingers. “Strawberry?”
“Yeah, it’s strawberry,” they confirm, poorly hiding the excitement in their demeanor. Not that they were trying to. “Can you taste it?” 
He pulls from the joint, the edges of the paper sizzling red with the weed. It’s an even burn this time. He rolls his tongue around in his mouth after he exhales a cloud of smoke. 
“Still no,” he decides after a beat, and they sigh. 
“I don’t know why I ever get my hopes up.”
“I do taste something else in this, though.” He takes another hit, stews on it. “Lavender?”
“Shoulda known you would’ve gotten it on your first tray. Yeah, it’s lavender. I found some lying around.”
“You made this one pretty nice,” he observes, eyes tracing the shape of the joint. “Between the lavender and the new papers, I mean.”
“Well, y’know.” The smile on their face is small and shy. “I don’t smoke joints often, so I wanted to make it nice, and I, uh…”
They’re paused for so long that Carmy interjects. 
“And?”
“And I—want that joint,” they finally say, outstretching their hand. Carmy has a strong feeling that they weren’t originally going to say that, but he hands over the joint nonetheless.
“Strain?” He asks curiously. He can feel the body high creeping up his shoulders, fluid and light.
“The strain that gets you high,” they reply with a grin.
“Oh, thank god,” Carmy sighs in relief, and the way that makes them laugh… It makes his chest tight. 
“To actually answer your question, though—I dunno.” He likes watching the smoke drift from the tip of the joint as they talk, thin gray wisps in the air. “I think it’s a hybrid? Not sure if it’s more one way or not, though…”
“As long as it’s not the weed that puts you to bed.”
“Um…well, if you smoke enough of it, it can.”
They sit together like this for a while, just sitting and taking turns with the joint. It’s an easy, fluid exchange, flowing between them like smoke. No matter how much they both try to blow it out the window, it always comes back in. The smell of weed is strong in the air, earthy and pungent.  
Although he would never describe himself as a talkative person, sitting stoned across from them makes the words come out. Sometimes, he thinks he likes himself better when he’s high—his mind isn’t running circles around itself, and the soreness of his body just floats away. He feels more like a human than a poor imitation of one like he usually does. 
This weed smells kinda good, he thinks, and when they laugh, nose scrunched up, he realizes he said that out loud. 
“That’s literally what I’ve been saying,” they agree, a bright grin lingering on their face. “That’s how you know you’re a fuckin’ stoner!” 
“Feels weird to call myself a stoner,” he muses. He plucks the joint from their outstretched hand. It definitely looks shorter from when they started a moment ago. “But I guess…”
“If you like the smell of weed, you’re too far gone,” they say with a grave expression. “It’s so fucking over for you.”
“Fuck,” he whispers, equally as serious, and then they’re both bursting out into laughter. He likes the sound of their laugh—it’s unabashed, fills up the space. 
“Dude, I’m high,” they whisper after they both calm down, like it’s some sort of secret, and Carmy can’t stop himself from laughing all over again. “Oh my god. Are you high?”
“I—I think I might fucking be,” he gets out between laughs, and that sparks them straight into another cackle of laughter. He’s not supposed to be able to make others laugh, he doesn’t even make himself laugh—but then he’ll say something, and they’re lit up with laughter. 
“We need to eat this pizza now, ” they yell, projecting over their combined noise. They flip the pizza box open, and it smacks Carmy right in the face. 
“Oh,” he reacts mildly.
“Shit, I’m so sorry—”
“It’s fine, it’s not like you punched me in the face,” he reasons, but their guilty expression persists. “It didn’t hurt, it’s just cardboard.”
“I’m sorry, I’m high,” they sigh apologetically. 
“I know,” he replies with a little smile. His eyes drift down to the pepperoni pizza sitting before them, glorious in its perverse amount of oil. “So, we’re gonna eat this, right?”
“Oh my god, yes we are,” they gasp, and the moment is forgotten. 
When he tears off a pizza slice, the cheese stretches in thin, gooey strings. They grab the slice adjacent to it to snap the strings in half, but they’re both leaned back in their chairs, pizzas in hand, and the cheese is still connected. 
“This doesn’t seem right,” Carmy mutters, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “We should’ve just cut it.”
“How could we have predicted this?” They pull their pizza further back, and the string still doesn’t break. “Wow. I’m honestly impressed. I don’t think it’s ever been this insane before.”
“I think we’d remember.” He’s not sure why he’s still talking and not just running his finger across the string to break it. 
“I think we would, too.” They snort, shaking their head. “This—this is some spaghetti type shit.”
“What? Spaghetti?” He’s genuinely perplexed.
“I—I mean like—that fucking disney movie. With the dogs.” They pause for a moment, mouth silently moving. “Fucking—lady and the, the truck—”
“Uh.” He has to hold back a laugh. “...The lady and the tramp?”
“ Holyshittheladyandthetramp ,” they blurt out in a rush, and the cheese string finally snaps in half. “…Well, I guess it’s not exactly like the lady and the tramp, then.” They take a large bite of their pizza, and it reminds Carmy exactly how hungry he is. 
“You mean lady and the truck,” he corrects, and he can’t stop himself from smiling. Especially not with how good this hot pizza is, delightfully salty and greasy in his mouth. 
“Shut up, I was trying,” they grunt through a mouthful of food. 
“How exactly is this like the lady and the tramp, again? Or, uh, not like it?” 
“Well, it was just like it, but then the string broke.” Somehow, they’re already halfway through their slice. “Could’ve been a beautiful spaghetti moment.”
“Spaghetti moment,” he echoes under his breath, holding back a laugh. “Remind me how that scene goes?”
They go quiet for a moment. It’s like he can see the gears turning in his head. If he’s being honest, he already remembers how that scene goes, but…he wants to hear them say it. He needs to hear them say it. 
“Uh, well, they’re…eating spaghetti. The titular lady and tramp.”  Their eyes are fidgety, flickering back and forth between their pizza and the window. “And they’re sharing the plate, the two of them. They’re eating together, and, um…” 
“...And?” 
They meet his eyes, mouth hanging open, and then they close it. 
“Um, I don’t remember, actually,” they say, shaking their head and blinking. He sees it for the blatant lie that it is, and yet. “Do, do you remember?”
As he stares back at them, unable to look away, he wonders. He wonders about what this really means. About if this really means anything at all, about if he’s going to find out if it does. 
“I don’t remember,” he answers quietly, cowardly, and neither of them say anything else.
Out of the two of them, they’ve always been better with recovering from awkward moments, so they do. They start talking about something else, and the world keeps turning. But in the back of his head, Carmy remains in that moment, unwilling to let it go. 
Why did you say that you didn’t remember? He wants to say. Why didn’t I say that I remembered how it went? Because I remember. They kiss—they fucking kiss. Is that what you wanted to hear? Is that what I wanted to hear?
But because he’s Carmy, he doesn’t say anything. He just eats.
He’s so hungry that the pizza disappears in minutes. It’s delicious, but he’s so high he’s not completely sure he can taste it. Somehow, it remains the best thing he’s ever eaten. 
The rest of the night is a blur. He remembers getting onto the couch at some point. They both decide on a random movie he doesn’t catch the name of. They finish off the joint on the couch together, sinking into its cushions. It burns hot in his throat as it reaches the end. 
And as it turns out, the weed he smoked is the one that puts him to bed. 
“...Ca…Car…” Someone’s calling him. “...Carmy, c’mon. You’re gonna complain about your neck tomorrow if you keep sleeping here.”
“Mhm,” he replies helpfully. He turns his head into the cushion. His body feels like an abstract blob, perfectly molded into the couch cushions.
“Okay, you made a good point. But. ” They laugh quietly, under their breath. “Movie’s been over for like 20 minutes now.”
“Mhm,” he repeats, nearly inaudible. He doesn’t wanna get up. Whenever he falls asleep, it always feels like he’s never gotten an hour of sleep in his life. There’s nothing he needs to think about, worry about. He’s warm and comfortable, and he doesn’t feel like letting that go just yet.
Everything goes silent again for a moment, save for the cars on the road. He begins to drift away again, slipping back into his dreamless sleep. 
But then there’s a hand on his shoulder, and it’s like a smoking brand on his skin. His eyes fly open and he jolts awake, jerking upright. 
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you,” they apologize, fretful. Between the dark of night and haze of sleep, they look pretty different. The blue light from the television is streaked across the blurry planes of their face.
“It’s fine,” he replies, drowsy. Speaking feels…heavy. Begrudgingly, he adjusts to sit up. “Didn’t mean to fall asleep.”
“Weed,” they say with a shrug. 
“How, how long was I—?” He cuts himself off with a yawn, wide with condensation in the corners of his eyes. 
“Only like, 30 minutes.” They yawn back. Typical infectious yawning. “End of the movie sucked anyway.”
“Oh.” Pause. “What was the ending?”
“Love interest died,” they state plainly. “He told her about how he felt, got rejected, and then she died in a car accident. Pretty tragic.”
“Huh.” Carmy makes a face. “That does suck.”
“Yeah, a bit.” They’re idly fiddling with the remote, scrolling through Netflix without reading anything. “I feel like the movie was trying to say something profound about the unpredictability of life or something, but the writing was shit.”
“I guess it’d be too perfect if they got together,” he muses.
“I guess,” they echo. They turn off the tv, and the room goes dark. The only light is from the yellow street lamp right outside their window, wonderful in its inconvenient placement. It illuminates the shape of the back and leaves their face in shadow. “I think I remember how that scene went,” they say suddenly. 
“Oh.” Carmy’s heart feels stuck in his throat. “And how does it go?”
“Well, they’re—both eating spaghetti. Like I said.” They’re not facing him, leaving their face shrouded in shadow. He’s not sure if he’s imagining the shake in their voice or not. It’s beyond him why there would be any shakiness at all. “They somehow get the same noodle, so they, uh, kiss.”
“They kiss,” he repeats for some unknown reason.
“Yeah.” They let out a quick laugh, but it doesn’t sound like they actually find this funny. He wishes he could see the look on their face. 
“I don’t think pasta works like that,” he hears himself murmur faintly. For some reason, he can’t help but think that was the wrong thing to say. But he’s already said it. Maybe it’s the same reason as to why his heart is beating so urgently. 
“No, I, I don’t think so either,” they mumble. He refuses to place the way they’re feeling. 
I can’t fucking do this.
The thought resounds like a gong, hit with a mallet right next to his ear. 
“It’s late, I gotta head to bed.” It feels like someone else is speaking for him, moving his body for him. He can’t stop them. When he stands up, he avoids their face.
What the fuck are you doing?
Another thought resounds. He doesn’t respond.
“Right, I—didn’t even notice the time.” He pretends he doesn’t hear the strain in their voice. No, he didn’t word that right—there is no strain in their voice. “G’night.”
"Night,” he murmurs back.
This is enough, he tells himself as he falls into bed. His sheets are tangled. This is enough , he repeats, and it’s not because he’s scared, afraid, anxious, or any other stupid synonym. It’s because he believes it, needs to believe it. 
He tells himself, this is enough , even though he wonders, what is supposed to be enough? He doesn’t listen. He stamps down the protests, the thoughts that are out of line. The high usually helps with that, but it’s worn off, now just leaving him in a weary, sleepy state of things. 
This is enough, he thinks, and he falls asleep looking at their shrouded face behind his eyelids.
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mooncheese3 · 4 months
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au wherein when sj first got into the sect and went down to the brothel, he runs into a young wannabe rogue cultivator
the rogue was, well, roguish— rough, rule detesting, and flighty. handsome. brown eyes and warm cheeks, most likely a slight sunburn (because of course he doesnt have a hat). he looked around sjs age, if a bit older. more height than muscle, but with time and experience sj reckons he’d grow broader as well. the only thing that caught sj’s eye at the time though… was his terrible spending habits!
what was he doing, getting scammed out of his coins over some sword tassels of all things. atrocious!!!!!!
if theres one thing sj cannot stand and can relate with sqh, its detesting those who cannot use their money right. his shitty day adds onto his anger, so rather than leaving it alone, sj goes over to the pair of merchant and customer, scolding the merchant first and then the rogue cultivator. the rogue, new to this living out of his mansion thing (his previous life as the fourth son with too much freedom couldnt compare to now, he doesnt even have people to fall back on for funds!), decides, ‘hey, this persons nice enough to tell me i did something wrong, why not keep going to him for help?’
the rogue camps out at that town, always there to pester sj once he comes down the mountains. sometimes sj lectures him, sometimes sj scolds him, and sometimes he simply observes how sj acts around the streets and notes down whatever he gleans. it goes on for weeks, until finally the rogue (and secretly sj) feels like he can survive out there—all he needed now was experience, something he cant get with just the knowledge he now has
after that, sj expects to never see him again. when people get what they want, they leave. thats just what happens, simple as that.
but then, to sj’s astonishment, he meets the rogue again! not on accident, mind you.
“well, we’re friends now!” the rogue says, “/and/ i saw an imitation of one of your paintings at an auction and was like, ‘i should visit’”
sj immediately thinks that isn’t true. there must be something else the rogue wants from him.
and so once in a while, at least once or twice every two months, sj continues to encounter the rogue whenever he goes down the 12 peaks. each time, sj’s doubts ever so slightly melt away. and each time they meet again, they both note to themselves that the other has changed.
sj notices how the rogue comes back with a harsher tan, wider now in his frame. hes more confident and mature, more streetsmart and wise. the guy isn’t so prone to impulse, now taking the time to think before doing something. a small improvement, to be honest, since he still goes and does something foolish, just with a backup plan—though sj bets theyre made up on the spot most times (he also finally invested in a cloak— apparently he has a thing against hats? sj’ll find out one day, he’s sure)
the rogue on the other hand notices how sj comes back more refined, more otherwordly in aura. his quips and witty remarks have taken on a new level, he probably needs to go back to reading to get half of the references! he walks smoother, and each step he takes looks as light as a feather—how does he do that! (worryingly, the rogue also notices how sj always looks like he’s being weighed down, and that his walls are higher than ever before. did something happen?)
the day sj realizes the rogue is the first person to not want to take something from him, and who he’s sure wont leave, even if the time spent together is so much lesser than being spent apart, he feels…scared. anxious, as if now that he’s been made aware, the world will now make it its mission to take this one thing away from him. for the first time, instead of driving the rogue away like all the others, he feels compelled to stick as close as possible. being away from the sect is an added bonus.
the rogue likes this change, though is confused as to what brought this on. oh well, the company is nice! now he can show sj all the little things that reminded him of sj he found on his travels. like this one staff being displayed in a shop: it was such a pretty shade of green! or, or this one lake in a cave, the ripples would be nice to paint right? especially when the light from those bioluminescent vines hit the water.
sometimes they get separated on their travels, but they always find each other again. unconsciously, instances like these help heal sj’s fears.
in short the two of them go from strangers, to acquaintances, to friends (in the distant future lovers AAAAA)
sidenote: rogue guy is like, similar to lqg in how he goes about his morals. hes a do good, think about it later, type of guy. while lqg’s a do good, DONT think about it ever, type of guy.
he got disowned by his family because he exposed them for selling counterfeits, tax evasion, import and export of illegal items etcetc to the authorities. while he doesnt regret doing the right thing, he does regret doing it loudly and without a plan. the family members he knew were innocent, who he didnt at least warn beforehand so that they can get away/cut ties before all of it goes to shit, were and will continue to be shamed by everyone they come across for the crimes the rest of the family committed
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sensei-venus · 8 months
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S1 Robby Keene Liking A Good Girl
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(Unedied) (Honestly kinda tame for S1 Robby, Drugs mentioned, Weed Smoking, Drug Dealing, Reader had mentioned anxiety??) ( @gemini-sensei )
😈💕He’s kind shy at first when he realizes he may have a crush on the new girl at school. He sees her in the hallways, in class, at lunch, in the parking lot. He sees her everywhere. It doesn’t help that she is a “good girl” in his book. She’s not rich or stuck up, she’s just too nice in his opinion and doesn’t do anything that he would consider bad. To him he had no chance with her, he definitely didn’t fit in her kind of world.
😈💕It wasn’t until he found out that she had anxiety super bad that his views on her started to change. It was weird how all of it started.
“I uh heard you might have some weed?” She was a little nervous as she corned him in the parking lot outside the school. The bell rang over a hour ago and his friends ditched him not long after. She had come out of no where, clenching the arm of her backpack. He raised a brow at her appearance.
“I have my card if that makes this better, I just don’t have enough money this month to go the dispensary. My insurance won’t cover the amount I need- I kinda wasted half of mine if accident. You don’t want to know.” She nervously giggled. It wasn’t like Robby was going to question her on it. Honestly he didn’t really care either. He looked for the nicest bag he had on him, and secretly he may have given her more then he said. She dished out a good few bucks before wondering off. Robby was quick to count it and noticed that she had given him WAY more then was needed. Before he could even say something she was already gone. He pocketed the extra and tried to not think about it.
😈💕It started to get harder for him to pretend his little daydream crush wasn’t starting to get bigger as the days went on. He started to see her more and more in and out of school. She would give him small waves and smiles, which he gave back in smirks and grins. He hoped he didn’t look like to much of a asshole. But with his friends watching be and to keep his guard up. The boys where already getting supsious of his feelings.
😈💕He really didn’t think she would come back to him for more weed after that month. But she did, asking for the same amount every time. She simply told him that it was cheaper to get it from him then the dispensary. He didn’t know if that was true but he didn’t care. As long as he got to spend a few minutes with her every now and then. She quickly started to warm up to him, no longer acting as nervous or scared around him. Smiling more and even cracking a few jokes which he admitted made him smile. She was just so cute that he couldn’t help it.
😈💕One day he just couldn’t take it anymore and asked her if she wanted to go smoke with him. At first she was little embarrassed but happily accepted his offer. He had no intention of taking her to the little hideout where the other guys liked to smoke. So he decided to take her to his place. His mom had been gone for weeks and even if she did find them in the apartment smoking, she couldn’t say much. Her drinking and pills where enough to throw back her way to get out of a little weed smoking. It was a Saturday when she came over. He tried his best to get the place cleaned up, made sure the light bill was actually paid that month. Showing up at his door with a bag full of junk food and a small giggle on her lips.
😈💕They spent the rest of the day on the couch smoking and watching tv. It was nice, it was nothing like when he smoked with the guys. They where always high and taking shit about anything they could think of. There was no peace and quiet which is what he liked. Just getting high and chilling out for a few hours. Reader seemed to like the same thing as she just sat quietly next to him. Only occasionally laughing and giggling at what they where watching. They both seemed to like watching cartoons while high. The pretty colors and high pitch voices making them laugh.
😈💕It started to grow late but Reader didn’t seem to care. She offered to order a pizza which Robby had no issue with. They ended up eating and smoking more while watching a late night show together. That was when things started to change in the vibe that was going on between them that night.
😈💕 “You ever shotgun before?” It was a smile question. She asked while looking over at him on the couch. Robby didn’t know what to say, he knew what it was but had never actually tried it. She slowly shook his head. Reader giggled saying “Well do you want to try it? You can say no if your don’t want to.” He raised a brow before thinking it over in his head. He could at least give to a try, and he would be doing it with Reader of all people. The girl he had a huge ass crush on. With a small nod Reader smiles and takes a nice drag of the blunt she was smoking. Soon enough her soft hands are cradling his cheeks as she leans over to him. Their lips meet in a soft kiss, her tongue prodding at his bottom lip trying to get him to open up. With just a small amount of energy he finally does. She gently blows a long stream of smoke into his mouth. He can’t help but moan a little as he takes it into his lungs.
😈💕A few seconds later the kiss gets hotter and hotter. He’s grabbing at her soft thighs and belly though her shirt. Her hands move, one cradling his neck and the other on his back. Her fingers dig into the flesh of his shirt covers back. He rolls his shoulders as his tongue works along side hers. Smoke escaping though their lips. He can’t tell who is being louder with their moans. As the minutes pass by he can tell this isn’t the high that’s making them like this so much. Reader is fully invested in this kiss. Robby smirks into the kiss as he starts to realize this must have been her little plan. Offering to help teach him how to shotgun. God she was so smart.
😈💕The rest of the night is spent kissing and cuddling on the couch together. Robby doesn’t even care anymore about school or his friends. If messing with the chubby good girl was so wrong, so be it.
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multi-fandom-imagine · 11 months
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« Importance || Peter B Parker ||
A/n: this was gonna be fore Miguel but I decided it fit Peter a bit better.
Prompt used:
Holding your jacket over your lover’s head as they hide from the rain, finding their formal outfit more important than your casual wear.
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Peter knew he messed up when he ended the relationship with you, he couldn’t help but feel bitter when MJ informed him of your new relationship with Harry.
He thought the two we’re friends, that you were off limits but then again he fucked that relationship up too but if you were happy then he could be happy too, right?
Wrong. Miles may have given him the boost of confidence he needed but he wasn’t about to run up to you to confess that he still loved you and that he was an idiot that messed up. Though it seemed that the universe had other plans for him because he never expected to see you standing outside an awning wearing an elegant dress. You hadn’t spotted him of course, you were to busy yelling at someone on your phone.
He knew he shouldn’t butt in, that he should just keep his head hung low and be on his merry way but then it started to rain and you started to curse.
After hanging up on Harry you were about to step out onto the streets until it started to rain, though that was putting it nicely.
Hearing your name being called your eyes went wide for a moment. Peters name falling off your lips in a single breath, you didn’t expect to see him again. You hated the feeling of how your heart lurched, you hated knowing how you still felt the same way for him. “Peter you look good, though you might want to step out of the rain.”
Quickly making his way by your side the man let out a nervous laugh running his fingers through his wet hair. “Ah thanks…you look great, you look wow, you look beautiful.”
Feeling your cheeks warm you averted your eyes for a moment. “Thank you Peter….um I…I should really get home…this looks like it’s going to last all night and I have a feeling I’m going to be soaked…god I spent so much money on this stupid dress.” You muttered.
Opening his mouth for a moment, Peter quickly slipped off his jacket covering you head. “I’ll walk you the rest of the way….I don’t mind.”
Chuckling for a moment you stepped closer to Peters’s side. Still the same sweet man you feel for all those years ago and knowing that he won’t take no for an answer you grasped his hand. “Okay…shall we.”
It was a quiet walk, minus the rain hitting the side walk though you hated the silence. “Me and Harry are done.”
“What?!” Peter hadn’t been paying much attention, he was doing his best to keep you dry. “Shit….I’m sorry.”
“He cheated on me, confessed after our date….apparently he felt guilty. It was a one time thing, it’s who I was yelling at…and wow I’m sorry for dumping all of that on you” though you were grateful that you managed to get back to your little apartment.
Frowning, Peter adverted his eyes. He hated seeing you look so sad. He hated that Harry even had the chance to hurt you because he blamed himself, what could he even say to you.
‘I’m sorry? Ya that’s real nice.’
“Peter you’re talking to yourself?” Placing you hand on his door knob you squeezed it. “It was a little cute though…I.” Biting your lip smoothed out your dress thankfully it was still dry thanks to Peters efforts.
“Shit..I..Okay I’m gonna go. I….I still have the same number if you ever want to hang out and I’m going to stop talking so I’ll stop making an even bigger ass out of myself.”
Shaking your head you grasped his hand before he could leave. “Would you like to come in an dry off?”
“I..”Straighten his back, he gave you a smile. “I’d love too.”
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thepenultimateword · 4 months
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Secret Santa 2023
For this year’s secret Santa I got @watercolorfreckles (I know you got mine too, but I promise I used a randomizer!) I’m sorry this is late, I’ve been traveling and just writing every chance I can get. I got a little overambitious and wrote several scenes instead of just one, so hopefully it doesn’t feel choppy and you like it!
"Hero's shy medic is the unsung and unappreciated glue that keeps the team together, magically repairing their every injury with her power to heal. What happens when Villain finds out how the hero's broken bones are always so quickly mending, and kidnaps the medic to utilize himself?"
Henchman was waiting in baggage claim when Villain arrived. His violet-dyed hair, thick mess of scars, and tall stature made him stand out against the crowd, but he still waved his whole arm over his head as Villain came through the doors.
Villain's glove creaked feelingless against his suitcase handle. This was getting tiresome. Probably for Henchman too. It was ridiculous that he insisted on picking him up from the airport every trip instead of looking for a new employer.
"Any luck?" Henchman said, seamlessly transferring Villain's bag into his own hand.
Villain's insides twisted. Maybe he should fire Henchman. That would force the underling to think about himself. Though Villain couldn't deny his reluctance to lose such loyalty. He wasn't sure he actually had the strength to enforce his own abandonment.
"Nah." He rubbed his numb hands together and forced a lighthearted tone. "Just another waste of money. I spent three weeks meditating away the damage, only for the so-called "power guru" to say I don't want to be healed. Apparently, if I did, I would have been able to banish the "bile" from my body."
Henchman gave the suitcase wheels a little bang against the ground. "Morons and scam artists.”
"Yes, well, it was a 50/50 shot in the first place. How's my bird?"
Henchman grimaced. "Still eating very little. She has stopped beating against her cage, but now she's very lethargic and despondent."
"You've tried cheering her up? Good food, nice things?"
"Yes, but she's not very chatty. Maybe we should have waited to get her until after your trip. This would have gone better with...some stability."
The automatic door swooshed open, and they stepped out into the chill winter air. Villain blew out a long cloudy breath and watched it disappear into the dreary, gray city landscape. Everything was so temporary. Here one moment, gone the next.
"The opportunity was too good," he said. "Besides, we couldn't leave her with our friend."
Hero had enough of an advantage without also having a decent healer on his side. No matter how many hits Villain divvied out, the heroic team always got back up unscathed. Perhaps without their golden goose, Villain could actually turn the tide. And maybe... Villain didn't want to get his hopes up, but maybe she could do something more too. He knew that Henchman knew that was the main reason he’d stolen her away in the first place. By this point he was just pretending to himself that there was a bigger purpose behind it all.
The crosswalk sign beeped its permission to cross the street, and Villain scanned the lot for Henchman's car, spotting its orangey paint job near the front.
"I am concerned she's been doing poorly this whole time. Why don't we stop by her enclosure first."
Henchman nodded and very kindly played along with the act that this was truly concern over an asset and not another cowardly excuse for himself. “I don’t think she’ll be very pleased to see you.”
She’s not going to help you.
“That’s alright.” Villain slid into the passenger seat. As Henchman loaded his suitcase into the trunk, he muttered under his breath, “I don’t have much left to lose.”
***
Villain called her Birdie.
Of course he knew her real title as Hero’s medic, but the nickname just encapsulated her so well.
So small. So skittish. Always flitting around the outskirts of a fight, the great folds of her medic’s cloak flapping at her sides like wings as she lighted briefly at each fallen party. The color was supposed to mark her as a noncombatant, take any targets of her back, but she had the instincts to remain wary always. Most villains didn’t follow the rules, and the gray was as likely to get her killed as not.
So why continue to wear it? Villain wondered, watching her through the one way glass of her cell's wall mirror. It was really more of a mini apartment than a cell--sitting room, bedroom, bathroom. The sitting room was the only room Villain could view into, but he doubted whether Medic knew that. Perhaps it was riskier to give a hostage so much blind space, but anyone worth keeping around couldn't be kept like any regular prisoner. Though, from the looks of it, Medic wasn't exactly grateful for the thoughtful accommodations.
She sat with her face buried in her knees, grey cloak nearly swallowing her little curled up body whole. He'd asked Henchman to prepare daily clothes changes, and the peeking green edge of sleeve implied she'd been taking them, but the cloak remained the same.
Villain moved around to the front of the cell and drew back the bolt on the otherwise regular door, taking a breath before swinging it open with a flourish. “Hello, Birdie.”
The woman leaped a little, head shooting up and fixing him in the inky black pools that were her eyes.
“Sorry for the delay." He locked the door behind him as casually as he could manage. "I’ve been out of town. But now we can finally chat."
Medic blinked then turned her chin into her shoulder.
Villain plopped down on the couch a couple feet away from her place on the rug. "Apparently you haven't been eating properly. Is the food not up to standard? Can I get you something else? Any favorite meals or treats?"
Medic didn't turn or respond.
"Hmm...what do birdies like. Worms?"
The healer's lip curled a little but still nothing.
"How about chocolate? Steak? Fruit tarts?"
Medic only tucked her chin tighter.
"Alright, I get it. The nice treatment doesn't work on you. Unfortunately, I don't have a mean treatment. Not for you at least. I can't asks favors from someone by relying on fear."
That got her attention. She still didn't unfold, but her eyes watched him sideways. Wary but curious. What could a villain need from a healer. He must have his own, so why her? She didn't need to speak for her thoughts to clutter the air.
"No, I can't just tell you," Villain said with a loud sigh. "You might go tell that precious hero team. I know you're quiet, but I don't believe for a second you're that quiet."
Medic swiveled her shoulders ever so slightly. "How...?"
Her voice was not so birdlike. Short yes, but like a rasped breath than a chirp. Still...
Villain grinned. "The very best of ways: by pretending I knew what you were thinking. Throw out a guess and you'll be right 80% percent of the time. That's also a guess by the way, I haven't actually researched the subject."
Medic retreated back into her cloak.
Darn.
Either he was totally unhumorous, or Medic was just that hard to entertain. Then again, she'd seemed interested by the prospect of a supernatural ability. She'd only clammed up again once she got the simple explanation for her question. She should've already known his Gift from the fights she'd witnessed, though he had held bad considerably this last year.
"You're not like other medics," he said, redirecting the conversation. "You have a Gift, don't you? And don't deny it, I've seen the recovery your patients. Scarless, rapid, perfect. One fight I saw a hero putting full weight on what, minutes previously, had been broken femur."
"And that's why you want me?" Medic squeezed her hands together, nails digging into the back of her knuckles like each word spoken aloud pained her. "Because I'm better than your medics? You want me to turncoat?"
"Not entirely. I took you because your good, yes. So good you've kept that ragtag trash hero team up and running way longer than it should have ever been allowed to go. Hero needs to be stopped."
Nothing.
"I'm going to the statue unveiling tonight." He watched her face closely. "I'm going to break it. And while I'm at it, break him."
"He's not that fragile," Medic said, her voice hushing a little further, and her brow furrowing.
"Ah, you know because you've tried?"
"I know because I' m his medic and I know how much treatment each fight requires." It came out quite a bit snappier than Villain expected and Medic must have realized it too because she set her jaw and looked away again. "I can't help you."
Villain pushed himself back to his feet. The declaration was firm, but hardly the denial of a truly devoted team member. Or maybe he was just reading to hard into things. Medic was shy. Maybe she wanted to make herself clear in as few words as possible. But if there was a chance only her fear was holding her back...
"I'll let you know how it goes," Villain said. With that, he made his way back outside the cell, bolting the door behind him with fumbling fingers. He flexed his hands a couple times, as if to warm them back to full function, but they felt as clumsy and disconnected as always. He shoved them gloved into his coat pockets.
Don't think about that. You have a hero to fight.
***
Villain couldn't feel his shoulders. He'd definitely overdone it. He'd overestimated his ability to fight with his arms as damaged as they were and he had relied too much on the power he'd been so careful to conserve.
He stumbled hard against Medic's door, sliding weakly to his knees. He didn't know why he came here. Henchman was probably having a fit searching for him after he'd bolted. Most of those heroes laid in shattered pieces at the scene. Or at least, parts of them did. Villain had found long ago that his Gift--the power to turn whatever he willed to stone--could be used strategically. The loss of limbs was usually enough to make a hero retire, no need to end a whole life. He wouldn't have minded ending Hero, but once again, the leader was the only one who escaped unscathed. Too this day Villain had only ever managed to take a pinky. It was a wonder no one found that suspicious.
Villain slammed his fist against the cell door, or more like tapped. He stifled a sob. “I don’t want to die.”
Not yet. Not without bringing down Hero’s deceit.
Villain strained to reach the bolt, fumbling it twice before finally jostling it outward. He practically collapsed onto Medic’s rug.
Dark spots clouded his vision but suddenly cool hands were running trails down his face.
“Villain?”
Medic?
No wait, the door…he needed to close…why was she still here?
“Uuughh…” Villain rolled into her knees. “It did not go well.”
“What did he do?”
“Besides use every other person as a shield?”
“I mean to your face.”
Villain squinted up into Medic’s dark eyes, so deep and concerned and…and infinite.
“My face,” he mumbled.
“Are these bruises?” Her fingers trailed a second time down his cheek. “It looks painful.”
“It’s in my face?” Villain barely restrained a wail.
“Villain,” Medic said firmly, her quiet rasp getting almost loud. “What happened? Do you need healing?”
Villain’s throat felt thick and swollen, too sticky to get out words. Of course he needed healing. But if she couldn’t help him…he didn’t know if he could take another failure. He didn’t know if his body could take it.
He extended his hand. When Medic only stared, he nodded at the black, fitted glove.
Medic’s thumb worked under the edge. Villain felt nothing but he imagined her fingers felt just as gentle as they had on his cheek.
She gasped.
Villain glanced at the bare skin for only a moment. The once caramel colored palm now a deep ebony. Like something rotten. Like something dead.
“Villain?”
Villain cleared his throat, fighting the words upward. “All powers have a price.” He forced himself to look at blighted appendage. “Mine’s is killing me.”
Medic turned his hand over in her own. “How long?”
“Always. It used to just be a little. Nails. Hair. Parts I could cut off. Then it hit skin…and it won’t stop. I can’t feel; I can hardly move. And no one…” He choked. “I’m going to die. All from trying too hard to rid the world of Hero, and I couldn’t even finish him tonight.”
Medic rested her fingers on the cuff of Villain’s sleeve, eyes meeting Villain's with some unspoken request for permission.
Villain nodded.
Medic's nimble fingers gently picked at the button, freeing the fabric and rolling it up to his elbow. Villain’s eyes widened along with hers. What had once had been dark veins was now as pitch black his hands. From the nothingness in his shoulders it was probably no different above the elbow.
Medic felt gently at the half-petrifaction. Most people, even his most loyal were afraid of the blight. Henchman was unfazed, but the previous medic had quit rather than admit they didn't want anywhere near Villain. And yet Medic touched him willingly.
“You can’t fix it, can you?” Villain said, practically plead. He didn’t care anymore. Even with the doubt in his gut and in his voice. He just needed help.
“I…I might…” Medic said.
“But Hero wouldn’t like it.”
Medic ducked her head. “It’s not that. Well, no…you’re right, he wouldn’t, but he wouldn’t have to know. And there are no specific rules that say I can’t heal a villain, it’s just…”
Villain blinked groggily up at her as she chewed her bottom lip.
“Like you said, all powers have a price.”
“And this one is too much,” Villain said.
“Yes, well, no. I don’t know.” She glanced toward the open door. “Maybe there’s a better healer…”
Villain closed his eyes, practically sinking with resignation. “No. Already tried. I don’t think I have the energy to search anymore.” He clasped numb fingers around his numb arm. “Or the time.”
A long silence stretched between them.
“It’s alright, Birdie. Fly away.”
It didn’t matter who she told now.
Medic pushed him carefully off her lap, clothes rustling as she rose. Two steps sounded toward the door way and then stopped.
“I’m not supposed to…but I’ll do it.”
Villains eyes shot open. “You will?”
Medic sucked in her lips but nodded. “Just…don’t tell.”
She knelt beside him, long gray cloak fanning out around her. The second glove peeled off easier than the first, and she held both hands in hers.
He’d always wondered what it felt it like to experience one of her gifted healings.
It was warm. Like drinking something hot. It spread from head to toe, and the numbness leeched out little by little. The skin lightened from black to charcoal from charcoal to heather grey from grey to brown.
Medic’s hands turned soft in his grip. He squeezed them lightly, his mouth parting in disbelief at the feeling of pressure of warmth of regular mobility. When he sat up, it came easy. Tears sprang to his eyes.
“You did it! You actually did it! Medic, you are—“
He stopped at the sight of her slumping figure. Sweat rolled down her temples, her face was flushed, and her teeth were grit as if in agony.
“Birdie?”
Medic only shivered.
“Birdie. Birdie, are you alright?”
Villain reached out, but she lurched back, stumbling toward the back corner. Veiny blackness spread from her fingertips, trailing up the creases in her skin. Her shoulders trembled. A small vein popped out of from her forehead. And she glared at the blight. Not like someone afraid of it, but like someone who’d like to peel it off and throw it away. Or burn it.
“No!” she cried and slammed both palms against the wall mirror with a feral cry. Immediately the glass crackled and, like a rolling wave, turned to cold, hard stone.
The black faded from dark ebony to a tan spot only
A few shades darker than her skin. She still glared.
Villain gaped. “You… That’s what I do. How did you do what I do? Did I…? Did you…?”
Medic’s eyes darted toward the door.
Villain jumped in front of it first. “Hey hey hey! I’m not going to tell!”
Another guess but apparently the right one because Medic’s shouldered untensed a fraction.
“I’m not going to tell,” Villain repeated. “I just… How?”
Medic wrapped her cloak tighter around herself. Her eyes had taken on a glazed shine suspiciously alike to unshed tears.
“It’s not exactly healing,” she murmured. “More like stealing. Taking injuries and making them mine.”
“The price.”
She nodded. “But this sort of injury…made from a Gift, it doesn’t work the same. It’s more like a build up of power concentrated in one place. And now that it’s mine…I can do what I like with it.”
Villain cocked his head. “And that’s…bad?”
“I don’t work for Hero,” Medic said. “I’m on the team because he’s supposed to watch me. Stop me from doing things like this.”
“Becoming too powerful?”
“Becoming a villain.”
Villain might have laughed if she didn’t actually look so scared. He took her hands carefully, savoring the sensation of skin on skin warmth once again. He fixed her with a hard stare that she seemed uncertain to hold or shy away from. He smiled, the first real one in a long time.
“What’s wrong with villains?”
Medic swallowed, looking away but not pulling back her hands. Her voice came out very quiet. “I guess…not everything.”
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graychrissy · 4 months
Text
🌊Digital Detox + Egyptians lucid dreaming method 🌊
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Idk what to put on the title of this post so I wrote digital detox and I have copy pasted the main lines.
In the ancient Egypt the Egyptians use to have lucid dreaming alot and it was extremely easy for for them not just Egyptians but it was also mention ancient Indian scriptures.
You’re probably wondering ‘what’s the secret’? The real problem is often NOT your technique. It’s actually another issue that no amount of techniques, articles, reality checks, supplements or uncomfortable masks is going to fix. It’s your ‘inner game’. Specifically, your subconscious motivation and reward circuits, and ‘dopamine cycle’. Travel in your mind for a second, to ancient Egypt.
There were no smart phones, internet connections, computer animated action movies or virtual reality headsets.
Your brain back then would have produced a healthy amount of dopamine as a reward for pretty basic things like eating, working, exploring, and taking some time to relax or meditate
Now our average attention spans are literally less than 7 SECONDS. It’s probably a lot lower than that, and It’s declining every single year with the rise of new, highly addictive and stimulating social media apps and platforms. When was the last time you meditated for over 90 minutes? Have you ever? I’m not saying you have to do that to lucid dream, but this sort of practice was very common 5000 years ago. In fact, it was weird NOT to do that. And herein lies the main problem.
Your brain is ‘fried’ with an overly stimulated dopamine pathway. Dopamine is the neurotransmitter that stimulates the feeling of WANTING to keep doing something. It’s the reason you keep scrolling through Instagram, or keep refreshing your Facebook feed to see if there are any new comments or notifications. But it’s also the SUBCONSCIOUS reason you aren’t able to lucid dream easily. In the last decade especially, there have been billions of dollars spent by big tech to essentially ‘addict you’ to their platforms. Why? Money. The more time and energy you spend on platforms like that, the more money they make. So the task has been given to artificial intelligence. The AIs often just get trained and told a few basic things: 1: Get people to spend more time on the platform 2: Get people to keep coming BACK to the platform as often as possible The ‘AI’ pays almost NO attention to what that would do to your mental health, attention span, motivation, emotions, or really anything else. Much LESS attention is paid to the effect it has on your ability to focus, or do things like, say, lucid dream. Now, the ‘dopamine cycle’ is one part of the problem, but it’s actually pretty easy to fix. There are several little pieces to what I call the ‘modern brain puzzle’. Things that just weren’t a problem 5000 years ago. You can see some of this playing out in children today. On average, children or people under the age of 15, find it MUCH easier to lucid dream than adults do. It’s because at that age, their dopamine system has not been damaged too much. This is of course changing now, as more and more children are having access to smartphones, but it’s an interesting point. In fact not only does the dopamine problem affect your ability to lucid dream, it also affects your ability to WANT to lucid dream (consciously and subconsciously). Specifically I’m talking about your motivation and focus. And you guessed it, there’s your number one cause of problems when trying to meditate, practice techniques like the WILD, or recall your dreams.
After reading this paragraph or stanza whatever,I noticed something,as a kid I had lucid dreams alot with just putting intentions.
My first lucid dream was at around 7-8 years old,and I was sinking when I realised I was dream and I tried controlling my dream and even succeeded,and I was probably there for about 10 minutes playing with underwater creatures and mermaids.
And till 7 grade I use to have alot of lucid dreams but after that I was allowed to use phone and so I was always invested in phone like all the time. By the way lucid dream was pretty normal for me and I pretty much forgot about it and never really paid attention to lucid dreaming. And then I rarely had any lucid dreams, probably 4 times ever since 8 grade and I've noticed every time I lucid dream it's always whenever I don't use any social media.
In 9 grade my phone was taken again because my mother noticed my social media addiction. And after few months I again start to lucid dream for fun easily and effortlessly but during COVID I was again allowed to have my phone and then a new laptop so now my life was revolving around social media again and for the past few year I only lucid dream whenever I don't get to use my phone more then 2 days.
Idk bout y'all but I wasn't allowed to use phones or laptop till 8th grade so the only thing I knew was TV which I only watched after coming home so like my mind was most of the te bored because I didn't had anything to keep it entertain which made it easy for me to observe around looking for things to do.
So how can you reverse the ‘dopamine problem’ and several of the other issues modern life has created? By the way: This is NOT about destroying your phone and going back to live in a cave. There are actually several powerful habits you can install, that will let you KEEP using your phone, laptop etc, but without these harmful effects. Here’s the simple solution to more lucid dreams: 1. Reverse engineer your life and remove distractions, manipulation, ‘dopamine hijacking’ and harmful blue light exposure from your daily routine (along with some other ‘problem patterns’) 2. Get inside your subconscious brain and rewire yourself to WANT to practice lucid dreaming, and to effortlessly do reality checks at the right time, without even trying 3. Learn powerful ‘all day awareness’ and ‘lucid living’ techniques that give your brain superpowers in the fight 4. On top of THAT foundation, learn the most effective techniques and concepts, use our tools to stay motivated, and experience lucid mastery within 14 days. Let’s dive a little bit deeper: First, you have to ‘reverse engineer’ the problem. This can be complicated if you don’t know what you’re doing, but we’ve laid everything out step by step for you. If dopamine addiction is part of the problem, we have to break that addiction first. Then comes your mindset, and your motivation pathways. You need to actually feel GOOD when you practice these things. I see so many people saying they’re struggling to remember to do reality checks, or they just don’t want to wake up at ‘weird times’ to practice. Don’t worry, you won’t have to. It will feel good, and you’ll ENJOY practicing these things. Next, your subconscious mind. It’s SO important to fix your internal beliefs about lucid dreaming, because the chances are you have ‘internal blocks’ about becoming lucid. They’re easy to pick up, but a bit harder to ‘unlearn’. The system shows you how to ‘unlearn’ them, and install new, powerful and self affirming beliefs into your mind. This gives your brain lots more motivation to keep trying. Now, one of the most common things I hear people say is that they can’t REMEMBER to keep doing reality checks. It’s linked to the dopamine problem we mentioned earlier, but it’s also connected to a few other psychological principles that we’ll get onto. We’ll give you a new framework to ENJOY reality checks, remember them without any annoying reminders, and actually get them to SHOW UP in your dreams, 9 out of 10 times. And then finally, we’ll build the most effective techniques, methods and concepts on top of that new, strong foundation. Of course, I’m simplifying this here, but that’s the outline.
Here are some videos that may help.
youtube
youtube
If you want to know more about it or get the steps to lucid dream you can buy the book or go through a long step to get it for free but the procedure is very long and probably only for Iphone user.
You find some good articles ways to do the 'reverse dopamine' thingy.(I donot trust my research on this topic cuz I got confuse)
You may use Adambja's tape to reprogram your subconscious and this hacking the matrix tape the comments under the video was so good and I found this tape on someone's success story. You can use this two tapes to reprogram your subconscious and of course psych-k.
This is pretty much all you need digital detox,observing your surroundings and subconscious reprogramming to change your belief or assumptions.
And this will make you even more motivated that you are working on your goals as many of us have the access of devices it's hard for us to keep up with all this method and it's not like we are always busy if we are we wouldn't be scrolling through Tumblr and Pinterest all the time. If you read the the copy pasted part you'll see what I mean.
Edit: I forgot to mention it 🥲 if we follow do this we CAN HAVE lucid dream everyday.
Egyptians lucid dreaming tea
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This will be quick,so I went to my aunt's place with my mother and my aunt's ran out of tea powder/leaves so she used her daughter's blue lotus tea and after getting home I took a nap and I HAD A FOKING LUCID DREAM,so basically I didn't knew that it was the tea until I was doing some research on LD and found out that in ancient Egypt they use Blue Lotus tea and I found some review about it on YouTube and people had very vivid dreams aswell. This tea basically put you in REM which y'all probably know about.
But I don't like tea😐,so if anyone have interest you can try I honestly want to but my hate for tea is on top on the list of top 5 things I hate,you can find them online people even use Blue Lotus in vape😐not encourageling y'all to smoke but if anyone does you can.
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thebetawolfgirl · 5 months
Note
Could you do one where the reader and Timmy are co stars and the leading roles in WONKA and they’re doing press tour and stuff and the whole internet ships them but he’s dating Kylie. Kylie and y/n had something like big beef years ago , so when she finds out that Kylie is attending their wonka premiere, she decides to stop press tour completely , I just like some drama idk and I love your writinggg 🤍🤍
A/N: This isn’t my best work but I hope you enjoy it nevertheless! Thank you so much for all your support!!!
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Dream Come True
Pairing: Timmy x Reader
Warnings: None. Just pure fluff and a little bit of angst.
Dream come True
Y/n met Timmy when they were cast as the leading roles in the new movie ‘Wonka’ telling the origin story of the famous Chocolatier Willy Wonka and they hit it off right away. They spent nearly every day together between takes talking about movies, literature and food, they would debate art and history, Timmy was intelligent and had a certain view of the world she had never seen in anyone else her age. He was sensitive and had passion, he was also very giving with his fans, he would stand and talk to them and listen to them. It was during Covid so he couldn’t get too close to anyone on the outside, which meant the only people they both saw was the rest of the cast and each other.
She stayed with him when he came back to work after his grandmother passed away as he lay in her arms breaking his heart. They had become close.
When Covid ended and he was able to do press finally for Dune, she sent him a quick message to wish him good luck and he replied with a heart emoji.
Now it was 2023 and they were finally able to do a bit of press for Wonka together, they were excited to talk about this project finally, everyone adored them together and the internet was shipping them together already, but of course he had already been spotted out with Kylie Jenner. Much to y/n’s disapproval, she didn’t like the girl but she had no right to tell Timmy who he should be dating. It wasn’t her business.
Timmy noticed how y/n would become distant with him whenever they were together and Kylie showed up, he didn’t like it. He hated not having y/n around him, he knew she and Kylie had a history long ago but he didn’t think she would completely distance herself from him. After his beloved grandmother passed away she was like his rock keeping him anchored as he drowned in his grief, now that Kylie was constantly around him, she wasn’t. And it was making him antsy, so much so in fact when she bailed out of one of their many press interviews for Wonka everyone around him could tell he was agitated because y/n wasn’t by his side. She claimed she had fallen unwell and lost her voice from all the talking and was taking a break.
When she came back he was fine again and back to his usual chatty goofy self.
When it came closer for the world premiere for Wonka in LA Timmy’s management came to him and said Kylie would be joining him on the red carpet for at least two of the premiers and he sighed burying his face in his hands.
He heard through the wall in the next suite y/n going crazy after hearing the news.
‘Is she that fucking desperate for attention that she needs to go to a premier for a children’s movie?! Talk about fucking creep factor! Will she be in the Chanel commercial too, or is this the only thing of Timothée’s she wants to destroy with her existence?’
She was so upset and furious. She sent Kylie a text telling if this movie flopped because of her, she would make her life a living Hell then turned off her phone. She told her publicist to send for her car, she was done with the whole tour and she was going home.
She saw Timmy’s agent in the hallway looking at her with regretful eyes and stormed past his shoulder. ‘I hope this little act was worth the money, she’s going to destroy his career he’s worked so hard for.’ She walked to the elevator and left without saying goodbye to any of the cast or to Timmy.
Timmy had been doing publicity work when he heard about y/n leaving and walking away from the rest of the tour and was devastated.
But when the night of the premiere arrived and y/n was nowhere to be seen he asked around thinking maybe she was just running late, but when his publicist told him with a nervous air that y/n had pulled out of coming to the premier as well as the tours Timmy went pale feeling himself falling back.
He felt Hugh and Olivia grab his arms lowering him into the chair as someone went to get him a glass of water, he buried his face between his legs as he felt his chest tighten.
He needed y/n here, he needed to see her face when the noise got to much for him she was the only one who could calm his nerves with her soothing words. She wasn’t happy about Kylie he knew that, she told him countless times that he could do so much better than her, he deserves so much better than her.
It was always her though, Timmy realised as he drank his water.
The premier came and went he did the whole arm around Kylie looking in love charade, when really he couldn’t stand her. The longer he looked at her the more his stomach turned. How had he not seen how fake this woman was, how vapid! No wonder he couldn’t think straight after being with her, it wasn’t lust his brain cells were dying, gasping out for some sort of stimulation.
No wonder after every conversation with Kylie he would call y/n to just to contradict her about something she said just to rile her up and have a healthy debate with her.
After the premier he ditched Kylie and locked himself in his hotel room and tried to call y/n but the phone just rang out, so he tried to message her and it said her phone was now switched off. He tried to Skype her on his laptop but that was disconnected. He slammed his laptop down getting annoyed, if she thought she could ignore him and he would just leave her alone she was wrong. He changed into his sweats and his hoodie with his baseball cap and grabbed his car keys before sneaking out of the hotel.
He knew where she lived, he remembered her telling him how she had inherited her grandfather’s ranch where she grew up as a little girl. It was out in the California countryside, a place surrounded by beautiful trees and mountains. It was still light for some reason, LA he guessed rolling his eyes. He drove along the road and he knew he was getting close when the desert become more leafy and he was suddenly surrounded by autumn trees, he smiled and came to farmlands and turned into a beautiful driveway dusted with fallen leaves and fenced off grasslands for the horses to graze on, he looked out his window and saw the stunning backdrop of mountains and and greenery.
He parked outside the house and got out of his car. His fancy wheels looked stupid in these surroundings. He looked around in amazement taking everting in, from the fresh air around him to the house and the huge mountains in the background and the horses grazing in the fields beyond. He couldn’t believe he was still in California. Maybe, Montana or somewhere in Arizona.
He understood why y/n loved this place so much, what happy memories she must have made here with her grandparents, he turned as he heard the door open and out she stepped looking at him. Dear God she was stunning, he had saw her all glammed up and he saw her all messy and covered in chocolate and mud and he had even saw her in her pyjamas when he showed up at her hotel room late one night, but he had never saw her like this.
She was wearing a pair of old torn jeans, covered in some sort of white stuff like powder, she must have been baking, and an off the shoulder knit sweater and her light brown hair was in a messy side braid. Her bangs were whipping around her face, as she walked up to him shoving her hands in her pockets.
‘Timmy? What are you doing here? I thought you would be at the after party?’
‘I’m sorry, I am so so sorry. I was a total dick to you!’ He blurted out before he could stop himself and she blinked at him.
He looked around, spreading his arms wide ‘This just proves my theory!’
She smiles stepping closer to him ‘What theory is that?’
‘That you’re definitely an angel, because this,’ he gestures around him. ‘This is Heaven!’
She smiles watching him look around him.
‘I could see myself spending my out my life here,’ he looked her in the eyes ‘With you. I could see me spending my life here with you.’
She takes a deep breath looking at him. ‘Is that what you came all the way out here to tell me?’
‘No, actually I drove out here to confront you about ignoring me tonight and argue with you. Tell you, Plato was an idiot and the Yankees suck ass!’
She glared before raising her eyebrow looking at him ‘And now?’
He sighed shoving his hands in his pockets ‘Well I can’t very well yell at you now.’
‘The Yankees are a great team by the way.’
He scoffed rolling his eyes and she raised her eyebrows. ‘Because the Knicks did so great this season?’
‘Hey! They did their best okay!’
‘My ass they did their best!’ She turned and walked back towards the house and he followed her immediately almost automatically.
He closed the door behind him and stepped inside the cozy house and looked around, there were family photos of different generations scattered along the wall, he saw a picture of y/n in her graduation robes holding her diploma.
‘What did you study?’
‘Before becoming an actor I wanted to work with animals. So I studied veterinary science.’
‘Wow.’ He muttered under his breath as he looked at all of the family photos and saw a picture of a young girl on a horse holding a large trophy.
‘Hey who’s the little girl on the horse with the trophy?’ He called to her in the kitchen.
‘Oh that’s me. I came in first place in the equestrian event. My papa was so proud that he was actually crying.’ She came back with two bottles of his favourite beer and handed him one, smiling at the photos. He watched her closely as he sipped his beer ‘What was your grandfather like?’
She looked at him and smiled ‘You’re the first person to ever ask me what he was like.’
He smiled and waited. ‘He was always smiling, always singing. He liked putting the radio and dancing with grandma around the kitchen. He taught me how to dance too.’ She looked up at Timmy smiling before frowning ‘When grandma died he was never the same again, I think a little bit of him died when she did. The thing that killed him most, I think was that none of the family came to the funeral. I skipped school and took a bus using my lunch money to go. All the other families from the neighbouring ranches came but her own children didn’t come. I moved in here after graduation, I told my parents to stay away, invited my grandpa instead. Haven’t spoken to them since his funeral eight years ago.’
She sighed as Timmy listened intently without interrupting. He knew she had been keeping this bottled up for years. All of the love and pride she felt for her grandparents, the hurt and the shame of her family not paying their respects and her total determination with her loyalty towards her grandparents. No wonder the old man left his entire life to his granddaughter. She was the only who cared enough to stay.
‘I’m sorry y/n.’ He wrapped his arm around her shoulder to comfort her.
‘Your parents sound like assholes. If you don’t mind me saying.’
She shook her head closing her eyes and smirked ‘Not at all. You’re right on the dot. They are assholes. When I made it to the big time they contacted me, wanting to ‘make amends’ I told them to go fuck themselves. After how they treated my grandparents I’m not interested.’
She turned to him and buried her head in his chest wrapping her arms around his waist ‘You’re actually the first person I’ve ever told that story.’
He was shocked as he wrapped his arms around her back he had heard she wasn’t the most trusting person. In fact he heard rumour about how hard she was to work with, she wasn’t good at taking orders and she barely spoke to anyone on set. But Timmy had seen her with fans, she would spend ages with the kids and the elderly, she always made sure was allowed the same lunch hour the actors had. She remembered the names of crew members asking one how their daughter enjoyed her first day of school, she even asked one of his grandmother was getting better.
He took her over to the couch and sat down with her holding her close as she lay against his chest.
He would break it off with Kylie, he didn’t care if he had to pay a big fine for terminating the contract, it would be worth it if he could be with y/n.
The fact that he could already hear the echo of their children running around the house and eventually their grandchildren, was huge. He never envisioned his future with anyone before. But with y/n, he saw himself spending the rest of his life on this ranch with this kind, beautiful woman and one day their children.
Y/n looked up seeing Timmy lost in thought and reached up to kiss his jaw, ‘penny for your thoughts?’
He looked down at her and blinked at feeling her lips on his skin ‘I don’t want to freak you out or scare you.’
She reached up and kissed his jawline again ‘You won’t, please tell me.’
‘I was thinking about our future. A-and I was picturing our children and our grandchildren running all about this house.’
He blushed and looked down and she sat on his lap lifting his face to make him look at her. ‘Are we married or do we live like hippies?’ She smiled and pecked his lips before he deepened the kiss leaning forward. ‘No, we’re definitely married until we’re old and grey, and calling the cops on each other because we can’t remember who the other one is.’ She laughed against his lips at his strange narrative of their future, she pulled away before standing and taking his hand to guide him upstairs to her bedroom.
They didn’t know what tomorrow would bring, but they were ready for whatever would be thrown their way. They met on a movie based on following your dreams, and they ended up being each other’s dream come true!
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kkydult · 5 months
Text
— everything stays
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childhood friend!anton x engaged!reader - fluff - 1.8k
a/n. it’s kinda inspired by the movie “past lives” but i haven’t seen it so yeah! hope yall like this there’s no cheating so dw it’s just cute and lovey dovey, i really enjoyed writing this look forward to the next ones 🫶
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Late summers, end of August, pretty sunsets and sweet memories from your childhood in Korea came rushing through your mind. It was just like this on those days except you were running through the fields, the grass tickling your ankles as you threaded through. Behind you the boy you spent most of your summer with, he was chasing you trying to get back at you for eating the last piece of bread he had. You knew he would catch up to you soon enough, your legs giving out slowly after running around in circles trying to escape him. The grass became a mattress as you both fell giggling in between your heavy panting, you hoped every summer from then on would be filled with the joy you felt in that moment.
And as the years went by from primary school to high school it was just as you hope, he was there with you on weekends, weekdays, school breaks and it never died out the fun you had with him, just the thought of seeing him on early Monday morning felt like a gift. Perhaps you wished too hard, it was the summer before your freshman year in high school when the news broke that your dad got an opportunity working overseas and you had no other choice than to leave with your family. You wanted to be excited, you had always wanted to leave your small town but when you thought of Anton your heart wouldn't let you see the bright side of things. Telling him the news was the hardest part the words stayed stuck in your throat as you both sat on the playground swings you played on so much throughout the years together. The look he gave you when you struggled to explain the situation through soft sobs was one you could never forget, he just smiled holding your hand tight in his, like he understood and accepted it but you knew his habits. Him sitting by you patiently as you told him when you were leaving, trying to keep his cool for you but his foot bouncing on the ground showed everything he wasn't saying and even through that he found a way to reassure you, his words softer than ever, "It's just a matter of time, don't worry too much, I'll be in your future too"
You don't know how many times you thought about that moment on the swings, but it kept you hopeful and even after so many years you felt it could be true. It had been 8 years since you moved and you were finally back after all that time past, you had come to see your grandparents, over the years you had been too busy focused to school and adjusting to the new life you kept your mind off other things as much as you could but Anton was a recurring thought and as you sat in your childhood bedroom you couldn’t bare to stay still.
Asking your mami was no use, so you decided to take a walk to his house as you remembered it hoping nothing would have changed. When you left all you had was his house number and calling across the globe cost money that your parents preferred using to call your grandparents, you called a couple times in the first months but it felt pointless when you could barely hear each other. Times changed with the internet and you felt maybe that was the way but you couldn't find him through the data servers filled with Anton lees, you would have given up but you felt driven to see it to the end, till there was no more hope.
Standing in front of the gate reading the nameplate, you felt your heart racing as it was just as you remembered, did he even want to see you?
"Y/N" your head turns around in the same beat as your fragile heart, he was there, you didn't need confirmation you knew his face like it was your home, you felt your body move instinctively rushing into his arms without any other thoughts about the missing years, his arms wrapped around you perfectly letting all those years vanish into nothingness. You were back and you wanted to stay with him in his arms like this for the next 8 years.
"Anton Lee, my go-- are you real?" you pull back hands still wrapped around his biceps the smile on your face permanently stuck on, he chuckles shrugging his smile reflecting yours, eyes and lips alike. "Pinch me let's see" instead you fall back into his arms resting you head on his chest, his hand on the back of your head stroking you at ease, "I missed you... I--" before you can finish he lifts your chin up and for a second you thought he would kiss you as he stayed there watching your face in silence, "let's catch up over some food and drinks yeah?"
The place he brought you made you made more past thoughts reel in, when you'd pass by on hot summer nights biking together hearing all the laughter and joy being spread from outside envying all the adults that got to have fun like that, being here with him felt like a reward. He was so different from the last time but still so obviously the same old Anton. You watched him order the food and drinks admiring the boy you felt so fond of when you were so much younger, the way his body had changed -- swimming had made a huge impact -- the linen shirt he had on hanging loosely on him but the transparency showing a lot more, his hair was roughly styled but it fell perfectly on his face, you felt you could stare at him for hours till you finally look up at his eyes finding him looking at you with a soft smirk tilting his head to the side amused. "I know, I know, l’m the ideal type man you don't need to tell me so obviously" you force your embarrassment down rolling your eyes at his cockiness, "I like your outfit is all" he laughs pushing his hair out of his face shaking his head not buying your excuse, "Okay y/n thanks for liking my outfit"
The next couple hours flew by the more you sat in his presence the more you wanted to turn back time, if you knew it could have always been like this you would have tried harder to stay.
"I don't know if you knew but I had the biggest crush on you back then" he mumbles hiding behind his hand glancing at you quickly, you roll your eyes like it was the most improbable possibility when your feelings back then were exactly that, "I'm serious y/n, 8 years should be enough to bring a guy back to his senses but I don't know that I am" he scoffs taking a shot out of the soju glass he was filling up. The words took a while to hit you with all the alcohol in your system but once they did you felt embarrassed, you wanted to keep it from him as much as you could but you would be in the wrong, "Anton I'm engaged..."
"Since when? I see no ring, You can't lie your way out of this one y/nnie" he smiles watching you closely for your next move but you don't give him anything to work with and his face drops, filled with confusion, you try organizing your words before explaining the situation. You didn't even understand it yourself, you were dating the guy for a month and when he asked to marry you in public you felt obliged to agree, the more you thought about it less it seemed like a bad idea, you would have a stable household and you liked him enough to support him a few thirty years but you always envisioned yourself getting old with Anton. So you went see if there was still a chance but it happened all so quickly, you blurt it all out avoiding any eye contact with the man in front of you.
"Have you always been this careless? you can't just make bets on your future like that" he sighs looking at your hand, "he didn't even give you a ring y/n" his fingers slide between yours and his hand fit perfectly like that was where it was meant to be this whole time, he pulls away after a couple seconds looking at you straight in the eyes, "Call it off okay, I'll do it better" his tone was soft as usual but you knew he meant it just in the way his eyes glistened.
When you called your fiancé the next day you didn't expect him to make a big deal about it knowing he didn't like you as much as you liked him which wasn't enormously but he needed you because it was convenient. So him flying over to see you made you unsteady and when you saw him at his hotel room it got worse, but he couldn't force you into the agreement this time.
"Is this why you came here? To make a fool out of me?" he asked the moment you stepped in, he rarely got mad with you so the slight raise in his voice felt alarming. "Just find someone else, I can't be the one" you moan annoyed by his sudden caring toward you, he cusses at you "Can't you just suck it up?" you scoff walking towards the door before turning back to say your goodbyes, "You're not tying me down in any way, I could really have just gone my own way but here we are so just accept it and move on cause I'm leaving either way"
Leaving the hotel you let your legs lead you to wherever, completely worn out by the whole situation, when you realized where you ended up you felt it was fitting. You sat on your beloved swing letting the evening breeze flow through your hair, you shut your eyes letting it all soak in, for the first time in forever things felt like they were looking up for you. Opening your eyes you spot him walking over to you from a distance and the warmth in your heart enveloppes your whole body. He stood above you between your thighs, you lifted your head up to look up at him, "Can i kiss you now?" you just smiled giving him all the answers he needed as he leaned toward you the smiles on both your lips mixing into the kiss, his hand placed on your neck massaging softly and he let his lips take in yours so delicately like he didn't want to lose a single taste.
Almost like you never left everything stayed just as you left it, your love for each other faced the challenge of time and now you could enjoy it.
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