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#i have stuff to do but the gay angel comes first
lost-foxian · 4 months
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this show has no right to be 24/7 on my mind
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JUST FINISHED DEAD END SEASON 2 AND I AM NOT OKAY
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mythbringer-mayhem · 4 months
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GODDAMNIT
man, I was just scrolling and now I'm a goddamn Raidioapple shipper what the FUCK
Ok ok-
And now I'm going to elaborate just because.
I was expecting someone out there to ship Lucifer and Alastor the second I heard Hell's Greatest Dad. I mean- two people singing/arguing over being father figures? Sounds gay to me /pos. The internet sure does love it's enemies to lovers (me included. I'm hopless lmao.)
BUT. I have specifics for this ship.
I hate it when people just look at Alastor's aromanticism/asexuallity and just go "nah. I'm just gonna do it anyways." I used to headcanon Alastor as complete aroace in the sense that he just can't feel that way for someone (this is not meant to sound like "oh he can't love anyone :( he's incapable" I mean specifically a romantic/sexual relationship.) Then fucking short ass king of hell arrives, and Alastor just IMMEDIATELY chooses violence.
I didn't think much of that besides "oh that's a little interesting," and then I stumbled across Radioapple and had to take a double take. My brain needed to figure out how that would work, like how it would start, flourish, ineract, yadda yadda-
.....so now I consider Alastor Demiromantic-
(I'm still goddamn writing jeez-)
Read on if you like random people looking wayyyyyy too much into fictional characters.
Headcanon timeeeeeeeee
When Lucifer and Alastor first meet, Alastor is surprised Lucifer doesn't know who he is. Up to this point, everyone knows about the terrifying radio demon, so it must be a little weird for someone to be completely ignorant to his existence. Especially when that person should probably know the ins and outs of what's going on- ....because he's the fucking king of hell.
This is something new for Alastor. It made him curious. When you're curious, you try to learn more right? So, Alastor starts pushing Lucifer's buttons, seeing how he reacts. On Lucifer's end, Alastor's just being a smug asshole. However his true intentions are information on the esteemed oh-so-powerful king of hell. Maybe Alastor doesn't quite know where this fascination comes from, but regardless he wants to learn more. I can picture him progressively bothering Lucifer more and more (this is his unique way of getting to know him semi-discreetly)
As well as figuring out what ticks him off, Alastor would also probably passively learn things Lucifer likes. For instance, he finds out what Lucifer's favorite alcoholic drink is or something- bare with me- Let’s say Lucifer has a rough day, and it's very clear to everyone in the hotel. While he's frustrated in his own room, he hears a knock at the door. Answering it, he finds his aforementioned favorite drink. At this point, he wouldn't know who left it. But after a while, he'd be able to figure out it's Alastor through process of elimination. (This is inspired by a comic I saw! :))
Now we've got Alastor trying to discreetly be kind to Lucifer, and Lucifer is aware without his knowledge. And Lucifer would call him out for it lmao. Slowly, they'd start acting friendlier towards each other. It would take a long, long time though. The slowest slow burn of them all. They'd hang out more, do things, kick angel ass, have friendly banter, do stuff with Charlie. Untill Alastor finally realizes that he might have a crush on Lucifer. Though, I feel he'd take a while to fully figure that out, do some soul searching, maybe go to Rosie for advice.
Then they'd confess. Or they wouldn't lol. I can totally see them going on what is essentially a date, even though they just consider it "hanging out". It would be a quiet relationship. Something you'd miss if you aren't looking for it, but it is there. They both just need someone they can rest with in my opinion.
These ideas are probably sporadic and nonsensical- but I ✨️don't care✨️ I just needed to rant about the old timey deer man and the short depressed apple gremlin.
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signedmio · 2 months
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HEY MIO!!! can you do Adam, vox, lucifer, and husk headcanons with a genderfluid reader?
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𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐯𝐨𝐱, 𝐚𝐝𝐚𝐦, 𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐤, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐮𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐬 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫-𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐢𝐝 ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-
a/n: omg i read lucifer as “alastor” and wrote a ton of hcs for alastor only to realize you didn’t even request him BAHAHAH
warnings: gender-fluid!reader
proofread: no
tags: genderfluid, hazbin hotel, alastor, husk, vox, fanfic, x reader, adam
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𝐯𝐨𝐱
despite the fact that this might be a surprise, he is extremely helpful and respectful during whatever transition period you’re going through for you coming-out
vox is well-versed in all sorts of lgbtq+ labels, due to him being online so much, and having made business deals with a variety of folks
without hesitation, vox will ask what you need, whatever it is, he’s got it covered. haircut? on it. binder? he’ll have voxtech start making binders just for you. new wardrobe? that’s why he has velvette
he doesn’t go out much, due to his fame, but he’ll go out with you and watch you try on outfits for your new wardrobe, all for you…
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𝐚𝐝𝐚𝐦
i think this goes without saying that adam is gonna be a bit confused at first, he was the first man ever, he’s old school, he doesn’t know shit
he may unintentionally crack a disrespectful joke here and there, that’s just adam for you, no offense intended
but after awhile, he does try, he’ll do his research, ask around heaven, he’ll probably ask molly, since angel’s gay
at the end of the day, if you want adam to do something specific, you’ll have to tell him, adam can catch on quickly, but not with this stuff
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𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐤
although husk isn’t the most modern man alive, he is apart of the community, so he knows a thing or two
he’ll straight-up ask you what you want him to do, just so there’s almost no room for mistakes, he understands this is hard for you and doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable
remains very accepting and respectful at all times, and is probably the best out of the four at remembering your preferred pronouns/gendered terms
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𝐥𝐮𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐫
the most uninformed out of the four, as we can see in episode five with his first reaction to finding out charlie was queer, i mean, don't get me wrong, he's supportive, but he doesn't quite get it - like adam, their both quite old school
by far does the most research, he's the most uninformed, and he definitely cares the most about the situation, so he's very hard on himself to make this perfect
also side note, he probably throws you a 'coming out' party XD
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i do not permit for my work to be reposted, translated, or stolen. all rights go to signedmio. characters are not mine, unless stated, and belong to their rightful creators.
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a-dauntless-daffodil · 3 months
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Chaggie AU where Vaggie is a member of a holy order devoted to slaying monsters. As part of her becoming a holy knight, she must commune with an Angel to be granted their divine power... only something goes wrong with the ritual, and the being that appears before her is none other than the Princess of Hell.
Lute: “Gay?! She’s supposed to be HOLY!”
Adam: “Yeah, hot.”
Lute: “…let. Me. See. That. SuMMOnINg sCRiPTuRE.”
Adam: “Sure thing dude. Here.”
Lute: “This isn’t a holy rite, this is… WRITINGS OF SAPPHO!”
Adam: "Heh, heathen and homoerotic. WLWhoops?"
-
Charlie: “You should really be more careful next time!"
Vaggie: "Uh."
Charlie: "Lot’s of other demons would be thrilled to get yanked into the mortal world without a circle of binding to hold them- especially by someone as cute as you-
Vaggie: "Excuse me?"
Charlie: "And when I say thrilled, I mean in the blood and guts and screaming kinda way, NOT just in the 'can feel hellfire in my cheeks' kinda way. Safe summoning is important!!”
Vaggie: “Why’re you drawing the circle in yourself, then. With your… claws.”
Charlie: “Because you didn’t?” (dusts fire off her hands) “Anyway you should be good now, ask me anything!”
Vaggie: “You’re seriously not taking advantage of being summoned but not bound?"
Charlie: "I'm taking advantage of the view!"
Charlie: (beat)
Charlie: "Of the, mortal world, I am enjoying the pretty scenery."
Vaggie: "It's dark."
Charlie: "I'm enjoying the beautiful knight. Night. Night without a 'K'. Not knight like YOU'RE a knight, not that you aren't beautiful-"
Vaggie: "I'm. What."
Charlie: "The one who should be talking now! Not me. I think I've done enough talking for now. I think I'm good on having said stuff recently. I think I should be quiet for a bit."
Vaggie: (gay) (not immune to adorable ladies) "WHY are you here. You're not, what I expected."
Charlie: “I'm not the usual demon- As hell princess I get first dibs on all summons! After dad anyway.”
Vaggie: (of COURSE she's a princess) “Why answer this one.”
Charlie: “You’re missing an eye? It looks painful?"
Vaggie: "...so?
Charlie: "?? I thought maybe you wanted help with that.”
Vaggie: "It's a penance. You can't help with it."
Charlie: "oh."
Vaggie: “...That’s it? You're not here for anything else?”
Charlie: “….”
Charlie: “You um. You look very cool in that armor.” (cringes) “Awesome.” (cringes more)
Vaggie: “Are you a siren or a succubus or something.”
Charlie: “What!? No! No I’m just, I just think girls are hot! Cool! You look great!! …girls all look great, and you’re a girl, and you…”
Vaggie: “…”
Vaggie: “Do you need any demons slayed?”
Charlie: “Ahaa, no.”
Vaggie: “Holy quests completed?”
Charlie: “No?”
Vaggie: “Are you gonna eat me.”
Charlie: “N-not on the first date- I- OH YOU MEAN ACTUALLY-? No no no! I don’t, I’m, I don’t eat souls. Or people.”
Vaggie: “So what’s the catch here. The price.”
Charlie: “Nothing. I just wanted to help.”
Charlie: “Okay and maaaaybe have a nice conversation for once. Kinda short on them in hell.”
Vaggie: “… is there ANYTHING I can help you with?”
Charlie: “Well I just broke up with-”
Vaggie: “I’ll kill them.”
Charlie: “-and I could really use a date for the ball, I mean! No killing needed!! Dad isn’t going again, mom’s um, busy. And it’ll be a lot less awkward if I already have a dance partner, you know?”
Vaggie: “You want me to find you a dance partner.”
Charlie: “Oh no I, I was hoping- do YOU dance?”
Vaggie: "Me."
Charlie: "If you want to?"
Vaggie: “You’re asking me to go to hell.”
Charlie: “Shit. Right, dumb idea. It’s my home but, yeah. It’s not like anyone enjoys being here.”
Vaggie: (fuck she's cute) (fuck she's SAD)
Vaggie: “No one does? What about you?”
Charlie: “I… just wish the people would be nicer. A place is the people who live there, right?”
Vaggie: “…”
Vaggie: “I’ll come.”
Charlie: “You wha?”
Vaggie: “I’ll come to the dance.”
Charlie: "But- hell! Why-"
Vaggie: "Hell’s a better place than I thought."
Charlie: "You've never even BEEN here!"
Vaggie: "I've met you."
Charlie: ".... I'm not... the usual demon."
Vaggie: "I'll take my chances. I'll need to borrow a dress though. All I have up here is, armor."
Charlie: "I can, I can change that. A dress. N- no problem."
Vaggie: "It's a deal then." (holds out hand) "A dance for a dress?"
Charlie: (takes her hand and shakes it eagerly while bowing) "ITS A DATE!"
Vaggie: (chuckles) "Yeah, I guess that's a better word for it."
Charlie: "And I PROMISE when we dance I WON'T trample your toes with my hooves!"
Vaggie: "... should I just keep the sabatons on?"
Charlie: "I promise to find you a dress that goes good with your armored shoes so your toes don't get trampled on."
Vaggie: "We're gonna be quite the pair, aren't we."
Charlie: "Heheh~"
-
Lute: "WHAT HAPPENED WHY WAS THERE FIRE AND BRIMSTONE INSTEAD OF HOLY LIGHT WHY WERE YOU COMMUNING WITH A FIEND SO LONG IS IT DEAD DID YOU KILL IT???"
Vaggie: "Does taking her heart count?"
Adam: "Whoooo VaGEEE! Totally FUCKED that demon huh!!"
Vaggie: "Mm, not totally sir."
Vaggie: (smiling) (softly to herself) "Not on the first date."
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A trembling thought hit me like a freight train, what if the reason the crew went back on saying Al in aro is because he and Vox actually did date?
And then Vox wanted more and they broke up?
Like, I just have a nagging fear that that might come up in season 2 and I really don't know how to feel about it
Like on one hand it should make it easy to clarify that, yes, Alastor really is aro for he gave it a try and found it really wasn't for him
But on the other, what if the crew (or whoever is in charge) is all, "Well he dated once so he can't be aro, therefore he is only ace"
I've seen these kind of conspiracy theories before where people think there's some planned surprise romance plot for alastor and that's why they don't want to confirm him as aro and well.
I disagree.
for in-text, meta, and my own reasons. lemme go through it one by one.
in-text reasons
if we ignore ANY sort of word of god, statements from staff and whatnot, the only thing we have is the rosie dialogue. I've talked about it before, although she only says "ace in the hole", the context in which this is said is the idea of alastor dating charlie, this is a romantic context, and rosie says she's joking because she knows he wouldn't do it because he's an (aro)ace in the hole. the joke here is that alastor brought a girl with him and she's jokingly assuming they're dating (unless we're really thinking she jumped to joking about them fucking). so she KNOWS he wouldn't date and that's the thing, the only way I could see vox and alastor having previously dated and still have rosie say this is if them dating and alastor realising he's uninterested is specifically what got rosie to realise alastor wouldn't do that. otherwise no, it wouldn't make sense to me that alastor would've dated when rosie said this.
meta reasons
old faustisse streams. I'm not a pre-series fan but I've done my research. sure, there's info they've said before that's been deconfirmed but that's because some info from them are stuff they only say they "think" and not stuff that they 100% confirmed with vivzie, just opinions based on what they know about the characters. alastor's aroaceness is different though, faustisse was VERY forward that alastor is AROace and they SPECIFIED vivzie did not want to canonise it because of shipping wars and all that, so I'm fairly sure it's not because of some surprise alastor romance plot. faustisse may not be a 100% reliable source since this is from years ago now but I will say alastor being aroace is about as canon as husk being pansexual. both of this info is from faustisse. arguably alastor being aroace is even more canon than husk being pan because of the rosie dialogue. you can read the transcript of one of the old streams here. don't take this as a necessary reflection of my take on alastor shipping, no, I don't like reciprocated romantic alastor ships. at all. but I also definitely don't think harassment is okay. shippers will exist, and nothing you say will stop them so it's best not to waste your energy shouting at them.
my opinion
first let me say, I DEFINITELY don't like vivzie's choice to not confirm it. I understand yes people can be very aggressive in shipping wars, I understand harassment happens. but. IT IS HAPPENING REGARDLESS. ALL OF THIS IS HAPPENING REGARDLESS. it's just made WORSE by no solid statement on him being aromantic because then there's people who will argue it's not canon. confirming alastor as aromantic will not stop the shippers from shipping or having fun, this is like saying confirming angel dust as gay prevents angel dust x women shippers from having fun. they will exist regardless. confirming alastor as aromantic WILL NOT CHANGE THIS, all it will do is ASSURE aromantic people that they are being represented. all it will do is stop people from saying "alastor is ace not aro!" and acting like alastor being aro is an obstacle to their shipping.
that aside, I'll talk about my opinion on the idea of alastor having dated vox in canon. now, okay, I don't mind the idea if it's done in a very clearly aromantic way and it was just something alastor tried out but didn't like. I would even like it if it was done properly! but I also don't trust vivzie to write an aromantic character in a romantic relationship, so I'd rather it not happen in canon. and I do think vivzie is more likely to not take the risk of trying to write an aro character in a relationship anyways (and if she did I would definitely hope she does lots of research).
also it doesn't really make sense to me why he would try dating with vox instead of like. a woman. like rosie or mimzy. and I don't mean this cause of heteronormative reasons I mean this because alastor is clearly more comfortable with women, it just makes more sense to me that if he were to try out dating it would be with a woman. like... why vox? the only reason I could see it happening is vox is the only friend who tried to confess to alastor and so he decided to try it out cause he was a friend but then didn't like it. that isn't to say I wouldn't enjoy reading about this in fanfics or anything cause I probably would LMAO it's an interesting concept, but doesn't really make much sense to me and I'm not sure if I trust the allo writers to do it in canon.
that's all I have to say.
*mic drop*
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ofstarsandvibranium · 9 months
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if it’s not too much to ask (🥺) could you do a reader who’s best friends with Colin and he teases her about her crush on Jamie and tries to get them together? If not, NO WORRIES. Your stuff is so 🥰
(this ended up being a lot longer than I intended...whoops!)
You and Colin grew up together. You were two peas in a pod, the thickest of thieves. You knew everything about each other. You were the first person he told when he realized he was gay. He was the first person you told after you had your first kiss. You're each other's platonic soulmates.
As such, you're always trying to help each other in regards to your dating lives. When he told you about Michael, you were excited to see your best friend finally found his person. Michael was amazing and you two clicked instantly, to Colin's relief.
Your love life? Weeeell...
Colin and Michael were expecting you since twenty minutes prior, you texted them: THIS DATE SUCKS. IM COMING OVER.
So you're now sitting on Colin's couch in between the couple.
"So what happened this time?" Colin asks.
"All he talked about was football, specifically West Ham," that got Colin groaning, "He also looked my Instagram up and saw the pictures of you and I. Asked if we dated in the past, if you'd be able to get him tickets to the next Richmond versus West Ham game."
"You know you can archive the pictures of us so people-"
"No. I'd never do that to you, Col. It's like I'm ashamed of you and I'm not."
Colin gives a small smile and nod of appreciation, "Thanks, babe."
"Maybe you can set her up with one of your teammates," Michael suggests.
A lightbulb went off in Colin's head and you immediately said, "Don't."
"He's available."
"It'll be weird!"
"No, it won't!"
"Isn't he a dickhead?"
"Not as much anymore!"
Michael waved in front of you and Colin, "What's going on?"
You groan, hiding your face in your hands, "Kill me."
Colin snickers, "Y/N's celebrity crush before I got into the league was Jamie Tartt. When she found out he was being lent to Richmond, she freaked out. Made a complete fool of herself by tripping in front of him and getting a bloody nose."
"Ooohh. That's pretty bad." Michael says, wincing.
"It was so mortifying!" you cry out, "There's no way he'd want to date me after that disaster!"
"He might not even remember it," Colin says reassuringly.
"I don't want to risk it," you turn to Michael, "Michael, tell him it's a bad idea."
Michael looks to his boyfriend, "Do you vouch for Jamie?"
Colin nods, "I do, actually. He's completely turned his act around. He can still be a prick sometimes, but it's not as bad as it was when he first joined the team."
Michael focuses back on you, "You should go for it."
You immediately stand up, "Nope. I'm not making myself out to be a fool again. No thanks! I'm out!"
_____________________
"Hey, Jamie," Colin rushes up to Jamie as he exits his car.
Closing the door behind him, Jamie responds, "Yeah, mate?"
"You're not seeing anyone right?"
"No," Jamie replies with furrowed brows, look of confusion.
"My best friend, Y/N, she's beautiful, funny, and smart and think you and her would be a great match." Colin holds out his phone, showing Jamie a really great candid picture of you that he took when you two went to dinner months ago.
Jamie nods at the picture. You were, indeed, very beautiful. The way the sun hit your skin made you look angelic, "She's...nice."
Colin rolls his eyes, "One date. That's all I ask."
"Why me though?" Jamie still looks a bit confused, "Why not Bumbercatch or Isaac?"
"I just think you and Y/N would fit really well. She's been having a rough time with dating so I figured you'd show her how she should be treated."
To be fair, Jamie was thinking about getting back into the dating scene. He finally got over Keeley, accepting that they'd just be better off as friends. You seemed like a decent person, from the few things Colin mentioned. Might as well, right?
"Fuck it. Sure."
Colin fist bumped the air, "Yes! You won't regret it. I'll make the plans. You just show up."
"Yeah, yeah, alright."
_______________
You show up to Ola's, a place you've been to before. As soon as you walk in, Colin and Michael are there.
"I need to preface this and say you can't be mad at me," Colin says.
You narrow your eyes at him, "What did you do?"
"It'll be fine. I promise. Michael and I will be on the other side of the restaurant if you need anything, but you won't, because it'll be great."
"But if it goes wrong, it was definitely all his doing," Michael says, pointing to Colin.
Colin grimaces, "Thanks, babe." He takes your hand and leads you towards the back corner where Jamie fucking Tartt was sitting.
You immediately give Colin a look and he pushes you towards him, murmuring, "It'll be fine!"
You slowly approach the table and Jamie looks up, giving you a polite smile as he pockets his phone.
"Hi, I'm Jamie," he offers his hand out.
"I know," you say as you shake his hand, "I'm so sorry Colin roped you into this. You really don't have to be here if you don't want to."
He shrugs, "It's fine. Been meanin' to get back into the dating game. Besides, if things don't really work out, we get free dinner and drinks out of it, yeah?"
Your brows shot up, "Colin's paying?"
Jamie nods, "He said he would."
You smirk and gesturing for a server. He smiles at you, "Would you like to start with drinks?"
You nod, "Yes, we'll have your most expensive bottle please."
It's now Jamie's brows that shoot up and he looks at you in surprise. When the server leaves to get the drinks, you lean in and said, "It's payback," you sigh as you sit down.
"So...you weren't too keen on going on a date with me then?" he asks awkwardly.
You suddenly look mortified, "No, no! That's not it at all it's-I-ugh!" you slump back in your chair. You let out a deep breath and sit up again, "Alright, so I believe two years ago, you and I actually met before and I made a complete fool out of myself because I tripped and ate the pavement. I busted my lip, there was lots of blood. Not a pretty sight or a cool thing to do in front of your celebrity crush."
Jamie smirks, "I'm your celebrity crush?"
You sit there in silence, mentally cursing yourself and Colin for making you go through this embarrassment again. You stand, "Right, okay, I've embarrassed myself enough. I'm leaving."
Jamie rushes to a stand, "No, please, don't. I'm only teasin' ya. It's nothin' bad, I promise. You're-You're very cute when you're flustered."
"Thanks," you murmur.
Luckily, the server came back with the most expensive bottle of wine. As soon as he poured your glass, you began downing it. Jamie watches you in amusement.
"Sorry, I just need some liquid courage to get through this."
Jamie leans forward, resting his arms on the table, "How about this, we just forget who I am for tonight. I'm not Jamie Tartt, the most amazing striker in the league. Just Jamie, a nervous lad on a date with a beautiful girl."
"You're nervous?" you ask in shock.
He shrugs, "It's been a while since I've gone on a proper date. Kinda forgot how to do this sort of stuff."
"Pft, I've gone on many dates and so far, you're the best one."
"Yeah? Tell me about 'em."
And that's how dinner goes. Over another glass and eventually over some food, you tell Jamie about your past dates. He tells you about some ridiculous things he's done with the guys when Coach Lasso was around. It was nice. It was nice knowing that Jamie wasn't here because he wanted to get close to Colin. He was there because he wanted to. You assumed he was interested in you by the way he flirted with you throughout the nice. So maybe this wasn't such a bad thing after all.
Once dinner was over, Colin came over with a pout, "Did you guys really have to order the most expensive items here?!"
"That's what you get for tricking me like that," you boop his nose and Michael snickers as he weaves his fingers through Colin's.
"But it went alright, yeah?" he looks at you and Jamie.
"I'd say so," Jame puts his hand on your lower back, "We're, uh, actually gonna head to a pub for more drinks."
"Oh! Well, uh, I think Michael and I will head on home then."
You don't want to give Colin the satisfaction just yet, so you say, "I'll text you later when I'm home."
"Sounds good," he says and pulls at Michael's hand, "Let's go, babe."
Looking over his shoulder, Michael gives you a wink and a thumbs up.
You snort and then turn to Jamie, "Ready?"
"Whenever you are, love." and you two head out onto more drinks, more talking, and, hopefully, more dates after this.
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Some books and stories that I think are worth reading in conversation with Yellowjackets
Shirley Jackson, all works but especially The Sundial, The Haunting of Hill House, and We Have Always Lived in the Castle. Jackson might or might not need any introduction in this fandom. The Sundial is her take on doomsday preppers, Hill House is of course her haunted house novel (one of the classics of that genre), and Castle has a female protagonist who makes Shauna look like a plaster saint.
Flannery O'Connor, The Violent Bear It Away. O'Connor's work has some of the most pervasive darkness and brutality of any major American writer (maybe Ambrose Bierce comes close), and the second of two novels that she completed before her death is no exception. (The first, Wise Blood, is also very good; the intended third, Why Do the Heathen Rage?, only exists as a fragmentary short story.) Francis Marion Tarwater is kidnapped and raised in the woods by his great-uncle, who is convinced that Francis is destined to be a prophet. The great-uncle's death commences a bizarre adventure involving auditory hallucinations, sinister truckers, an evil social worker, arson, developmental disabilities, and baptizing and drowning someone at the same time. Content warnings for all of the above plus rape. O'Connor is also a fairly racist author by today's standards--she was a white Southerner who died in 1964--so keep that in mind as well.
Ruth Ozeki, The Book of Form and Emptiness. Teenage protagonist is schizophrenic and also a channel for a genuinely supernatural force; well-intentioned but poorly-considered efforts to treat one of these issues make the other worse. Sound familiar? There are supporting characters who are affectionate parodies of Slavoj Zizek and Marie Kondo. A minor character is a middle-aged lesbian who cruises dating apps for hookups with much younger women. Some people find this book preachy and overwritten, but I really like it and would plug it even if I didn't because the author is someone whom I've met and who has been supportive of my own writing.
Yukio Mishima, The Decay of the Angel. Can be read in translation or in the original Japanese. This is the fourth and last book in a series called The Sea of Fertility but I wouldn't necessarily recommend the first three as particularly YJ-ish; Decay is because it deals at great length with issues of doubt and ambiguity about whether or not a genuinely held, but personally damaging, spiritual and religious belief is true. There's also more (as Randy Walsh would put it) lezzy stuff than is usual for Mishima, a gay man. Content warnings for elder abuse, sexual abuse of both children and vulnerable adults in previous books in the series, forced abortion in the first book if you decide to read the whole thing from the beginning, and the fact that in addition to being a great novelist the author was also a far-right political personality.
Howard Frank Mosher, Where the Rivers Flow North. An elderly Vermont lumberjack and his Native American common-law wife refuse to sell their land to a development company that wants to build a hydroelectric power plant. Tragedy ensues. I haven't read this one in a long time but some images from the movie stick in my mind as YJ-y. Lots of fire, water, and trees.
Leonard Cohen, Beautiful Losers. Yes, this is the same Leonard Cohen who later transitioned into songwriting and became a household name in that art form. Beautiful Losers is a very weird, very horny novel that he wrote as a young man; it deals with the submerged darkness and internal tension within Canadian and specifically Quebecois society. One of the main characters is Kateri Tekakwitha, a seventeenth-century Iroquois convert to Catholicism who was probably a lesbian in real life (although Cohen unfortunately seems unaware of this). This one actually shows up YJ directly; the song "God Is Alive, Magic Is Afoot" that plays in the season 2 finale takes its lyrics from a particularly strange passage.
Monica Ojeda, Jawbone. Can be read in translation or in the original Spanish. Extremely-online teenage girls at a posh bilingual Catholic high school in Ecuador start their own cult based on such time-honored fodder as Herman Melville novels, internet creepypasta (no, this book does not look or feel anything like Otherside Picnic), and their repressed but increasingly obvious desire for one another. The last part in particular gets the attention of their English teacher, whose own obsessive internalized homophobia grows into one of the most horrifying monstrous versions of itself I've ever read. Content warning for just about everything that could possibly imply, but especially involuntary confinement, religious and medical abuse, and a final chapter that I don't even know how to describe. Many thanks to @maryblackwood for introducing me to this one.
Jorge Luis Borges, lots of his works but especially "The Aleph," "The Cult of the Phoenix," and "The South." Can be read in translation or in the original Spanish. The three works I list are all short stories. The first deals with mystical experiences and the comprehensibility (or lack thereof) of the universe, the second with coded and submerged references to sexuality in general and homosexuality in particular, the third with leaving your well-appointed city home for a ranch in the middle of nowhere and almost immediately dying in a knife fight, which is surely a very YJ series of things to do.
H.P. Lovecraft, "The Colour out of Space," "The Dunwich Horror," "The Dreams in the Witch House," and "The Thing on the Doorstep." Lovecraft in general needs no introduction--the creepiness, the moroseness, the New Englandness, the purple heliotrope prose, his intense racism (recanted late in life but not in time to make any difference in his reception history) and the way his work reflects his fear of the Other. These short stories are noteworthy for having settings that are more woodsy and less maritime than is usual for Lovecraft's New England, for overtones of the supernatural rather than merely the alien, for featuring some of his few interesting female characters, and for their relative lack of obvious racial nastiness. Caveat lector nevertheless.
Herman Melville, Moby-Dick. It's Moby-Dick. Once you realize that Captain Ahab is forming a cult around the whale and his obsession with it you can't unrealize it.
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autistic-bowlcut-swag · 9 months
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Propaganda under the cut
Jeff Andonuts
-Overall characterized as pretty awkward, the kid first introduces himself by listing his flaws (including “I’m very nearsighted” among them, the silly, that’s a neutral trait!) and then saying he wished they could be friends when he literally just saved people that called him over there telepathically with the phrase “friend we never met” in there! Almost like he was rattling off a memorized script in a way and I say this in the most awww look how hard he’s trying way possible. He’s pretty implied to be nocturnal as he works during the night and his specialty is fixing busted technology. He’s very good at it too! His dad was also a scientist but their relationship is interesting? Anyway, tldr his dad was always so absorbed in his work that they hadn’t seen each other in 10 years while Jeff was at boarding school and for context, Jeff is 13. Relationship with mother unknown. Do not ask. We don’t know either. Anyway, he’s got the autistic swag in the tbh stares at you blankly way. You can’t even see his eyes in most official art, so he’s just peak -_- to me right behind Frisk Undertale. Did anyone submit them too? Maybe I will if I have the energy.
-saved my life while i was playing this game also he has guns and can make a lot of gadgets he cannot crit but also cannot miss and hes super genius
Peter
-pathetic below average guy at the beginning of the story, everyone treats him like shit. then he gets possessed by an angel and he has to go kill god. he meets two guys and he falls in love with one of them and through the power of love and friendship and gay people they save the universe and also peter kind of becomes god. anyways its never outright said that hes autistic but he very clearly is and ive never met a single person in the fandom who disagrees. his special interest is rocks and he used to have a job sorting them at the rock factory. he has a pet lizard named lizard. hes still a pretty below average guy throughout all of the god killing stuff also but hes pretty nice and his humanity single handedly changed the narrative. he had gay sex
-autism swag . he likes rocks
-OHHHH BOY. Peter Sqloint was just a dude with a lizard until the archangel of retribution Exandroth possessed him. then he met Rumi (WHO HE WILL LATER HAVE SEX WITH AND MARRY BECAUSE OF HIS AUTISTIC SWAG) and Thanatos (big robot bitch who likes the lizard and hates Gods) (they all hate gods) (they kill gods). Anyway Peter Sqloint is THE Autistic with a Bowl Cut ever :3 OH he beats exandroth in a battle in his mind after he's stabbed by Thanatos (it wasnt his fault, a god put a spell on him). He comes back though, so it's chill
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ultraviolet-cello · 4 months
Text
Gooooood morning Trigun fandom, I'm up bright and early, ready to sink my teeth into today's analysis/detailed watchthrough episode - 11. To A New World.
I can't believe we're almost done with @tristampparty. These 12 days have been a blast and I'm very glad that I got to chat abt them!! I've been in a bout of artblock recently too, so I'm glad that I can just ramble instead!
Spoilers for Trigun Stampede and Trigun Maximum, and CWs for. okay this one is a Lot, but discussion of violation of bodily autonomy, sexual assault and trauma, pregnancy, transphobia, harm coming to children, Millions Knives in general, Vash's passive suicidal tendencies. If I think of any more I'll pop them up here but this episode is a heavy one!
If you wanna skip those first few CWs (Totally understandable <3), you can skip the paragraphs labelled with a [CW] at the front.
[CW] Okay so we're gonna tail off the end of Episode 10 for a second, but uh. Knives in this scene is using extremely Loaded Language to outright tell Vash that there is something wrong with him that needs to be fixed.
Just to be clear I do think Vash is very trans-coded (intentionally or not), and that very strongly influences how I interpret this scene - I myself am a trans man as well.
Cool, moving on! That's all really for the end of ep 10, I just needed to point out that Knives is using language that is commonly used to justify corrective sexual assault; which is pretty much what my reading of this scene is analogous to.
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what in the fresh hell i got jumpscared by dub again. returning to subs hold on a moment. Like i've been checking dub occasionally to match up some dialogue and make sure I'm not being misled by Subtitle Jank but I'm one of those guys who can't listen to anything without subtitles lmao
But i also think i do get the funniest possible translation of this line - actually wait no i hate the double meaning (with Vash's body being used to kickstart the pregnancy imagery). was that intentional. who did this.
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Anyway Meryl kicking Wolfwood is really funny but also like. Yeah. justified. She's having a no good awful time but like. She's so willing to believe in Vash, to chase after him even into Extremely Dangerous conditions (There's those hints of Trimax Meryl again....) and Wolfwood is being an ass here. (An understandable ass. But an ass nonetheless). Which is to say YEAHHH MERYL GET HIS ASS!!!
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Knives' gay little like. bodysuit here. He and Vash have the same build but their respective clothes make them stand out very differently. Also that Knives' stuff seems to have more muscle definition (HYDRATE. You shouldn't have that Knives you need water :pensive:) which could be building towards his more intimidating appearance.
Also I'd be a fool to not show everyone my initial reaction to this
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I've talked a little bit about how Vash uses his gun as a tonfa (thwacky baton) most of the time in melee combat, and I think that's a great way to show him utilizing something Knives gave him to Kill as a nonlethal weapon - in this, however, he doesn't have it and his normally very fluid very good form martial arts is flailing and panicked. Vash is pretty good at keeping his cool in most combat situations, and is a very skilled fighter. Seeing him lose that cool and just start struggling when Knives tries to grab him is :(
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Once again the metal/organic dichotomy is coming into play - the creation of inorganic but the destruction that comes from the organic. Typically plant (as in flora) powers in media lend themselves to being creation powers, life, and healing. But Vash here has that plant (flora) theme but those are very much a force for destruction.
Also Knives with the angelic white, and Vash with the black.
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I hate Conrad So Much (he's such a good character). Like we Know to some extent that dependent plants are self-aware enough to feel pain, to hold onto memories, to hatred, to love. They don't have consciousness the same way humans or Independents do, but they feel, they live, they understand what Vash tells them. Maybe it is a shallow form of themselves. But I think something a lot of people fail to realize is that (some, not all, because they are individuals even throughout a hivemind) plants appear to enjoy their purpose.
Once again the memory that is shared with Knives in Trimax of a woman and her child thanking the plant for her service and she smiles? After being fused, that plant held onto that memory. I've been given no reason to believe that plants in Tristamp are different, so Conrad is just,,, ignoring the subtleties of plants and taking away their agency to choose for themselves. Doubly so for Knives, who can communicate efficiently with them.
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A very quick blink and you'll miss it detail is that Vash says "It was our fault humans crashed here!". The shifting blame and guilt between the two is something that is fighting the narrative allll the time, but Vash attributing to both of them as an appeal to Knives is interesting to relay how he feels.
I also don't think Vash is right, though, when he says the only reason humans abuse plants is because they crashed. Tesla was before, Chronica in Trimax has apparently seen independent fusions before (For what reason?). Like yeah to this extent it's a result of the big fall, but there'd still be problems without it. Nobody is right in this argument lmao
(except me. I'm always correct about everything ever)
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[CW] Once again - violating Vash's consent and autonomy because he does not agree with or differs from Knives. Corrective violation, in this case. It's also important that it's Meryl who calls this out - she has to really really struggle for her autonomy to be important. She's small, carry-able, inexperienced, doesn't have any special powers or genetic modification. She's carrying a tiny gun from a man who can never back her up anymore. In fact, nobody is backing her up! She's out here alone! But she's sticking up for Vash. She cares about him,,,, so much
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SURPRISE ROBERTO ATTACK [sobs]
Meryl pulled the nail out of him and placed his hands gently over the wound, as one might do in a casket. A memorial of cigarettes and his flask. All this will be destroyed soon, but Meryl did give him a funeral to the best of her ability.
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Knives using Roberto's image is cruel as hell. Not to Vash but to ME. He's already dead you can't do this to meeee. "How do you think they'll react when they learn you caused the big fall" He will never learn it!! he never got the chance!!!
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So fun fact you can actually eat geraniums. It's just that if Rem had said yes Vash probably would have eaten it right there and then. I've made that mistake before (told one of my class that nasturtiums were edible and he just ate one. right from the plant)
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So; the Tesla scene. Something I do want to point out is that Rem finds them almost immediately, and Knives doesn't immediately pass out - Is he still catatonic enough to miss Rem's speech, or did he hear it? Because the reason that Vash turned out like he did is because he was awake to go through that with Rem - Knives was unconscious the entire time and didn't get to start that trauma recovery.
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It's also important to recognize that these memories could be unreliable, especially as Knives tampers with them later.
I do want to know which version of the Bible Knives was reading. Because depending on translation/version, you can get Very different ideas out of that.
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Anyway Knives is kind of beginning his spiral in that memory - "Humanity never learns" kinda shit, which seems to take place after Tesla. Who knows how long. But baby Vash calls that out and goes "yeah lets have faith"! Baby Knives looks a tad shocked and then Present Knives just. Cuts off the memory. What was the ensuing conversation!!! Hello???
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Like he's clearly Having Thoughts (The Horror), we just don't get to know what those were.
So remember when I said it was interesting that Vash said it was "our" fault that the ships crashed, sharing the blame?
Yeah that gave Knives some ammo that just. Broke him. Shifts it allllll to Vash. Update Vash's description to running on 18 guilt complexes, CPTSD, and bisexuality.
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[CW] There's so many different forms of assault, metaphorical and. Not. That is happening in this scene from mind violation to Knives literally using Vash's (specifically Vash's) body as a vessel to impregnate other plants which. Hey did you know that pregnancy is a massive fear of a lot of trans men. So many transphobes reduce trans men to their capability to have children, as if that's all they're good for (even if it would kill them.), and that often leads to corrective rape in order to "remind them of biological reality". In this case, Vash is a plant, he's meant to create, and yet he doesn't. But he's still being used to create anyway.
Again, Meryl also directly calls out Vash's lack of consent and gets shot down by Conrad. The whole scene is just. Hgnrhgnhrhnrnrn. It's So,,, everything to me, because it's a really good scene and shows you how far gone Knives is in Tristamp.
There are panels in Trimax that are,,, the imagery is there, but it's very overt in Tristamp.
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Also hey yeah. Why is Conrad still alive?? Did he have access to cold sleep? or it's probably the robotics but did he not think of enhancing humans that way? It might just be a temporary solution, I guess, given that he is. Actively coughing up blood.
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Alright! I have finished this part of the analysis that I always Feel Strongly about lmao - I have fun doing it but that's such an emotionally heavy episode.
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absolutebl · 6 months
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helloo...
i know i'm late, but i just binge watching Triage last night. i kinda love it that the mystery about the story revealed gradually. and the leads had nice chemistry, despite the low heat. and i enjoyed bingeing on it and pulling an all nighter.
so, i'd like to ask you, do you have any recommendations on bl series like Triage that are completed or ongoing, that the show would be enjoyable on binge watching?
it's super fine if you don't answer this.
thank youu and have a nice day.
10 BL Series to Binge Watch with Complex story elements
Okay, I'm not really a binger so these are my best guesses at keeping the tension alive. Also it seems like you want something on the meaty end in terms of length so only Thai and Taiwanese stuff qualified.
Case study: Triage (so obviously that would be on this list)
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1 Until We Meet Again
YouTube
Without question, a work of narrative genius with a powerful and cohesive romantic backbone and stellar performances. It is (to date) the only Thai BL (of c.250 watched) that I’ve rated a 10/10 predominantly on the basis of story structure. That said it is also very well cast (and it’s a BIG cast), with solid production values, and enduring pair branding as well as being the best Thai BL from a storytelling perspective. I think the story is good enough to carry the tensions. I also binges this on my first watch (it was already out when I discovered it) so I can attest to it being bingable. More discussion on why I love it so much here.
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2 He's Coming to Me
YouTube
Boy and ghost boy fall in love, must solve ghost’s murder. Peak pining but also pretty tame, features my favorite sweet but important coming out sequence. The third in my precious triumvirate of unbeatable Thai BLs, that are only nominally BL because the story, acting, and production values are so good. (Together with UWMA & 1k*).
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3 Not Me
YouTube
GMMTV gave us a dark disestablishment narrative (in a time of civil unrest) with established queer award-winning director Anucha and starring the biggest guns of BL, OffGun and THIS WAS AN AMAZING THING to get to experience at the time - nerve racking but remarkable. But was it ACTUALLY BL? It certainly has a lot of BL elements, but in the end romance was not what this show was about, or even what it was genuinely trying to be as a performance piece. Still a remarkable moment in Thai cinema, certainly worth your time. Don’t worry, it all ends happily. Full review.
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4 I Feel You Linger in the Air
grey (YouTube for some)
I truly loved this time travel romance BUT for the ending it would have gotten a 10/10 from me. IFYLITA is an exquisite BL, from filming techniques to narrative framework (much like Until We Meet Again). Steeped in history and family drama it edges into lakorn (but no as much as To Sir With Love and with way less scenery chewing). This is an elegant and classy BL… from Thailand which normally doesn't even try for classy. If HEA's are NOT important to you, you'll be fine, but I struggled. More here.
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5 Kiseki: Dear to Me
Gaga & Viki Y
The plot is totally ridiculous and slightly unhinged, but that’s normal for Taiwan. It involves all the tropes under a very casual framework of gay mafia gangs + food = love. Absolutely every character is queer. There’s a gum-ball machine of cameos, elder gay rep, great chemistry from all pairs, and a KILLER side couple. As a result Kiseki is a poster child for Taiwanese BL, and I happen to love Taiwanese BL. Bonus? They also managed to END IT WELL, which we cannot expect from Taiwan. (Triggers for knife play, child abuse, lingering trauma.)
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6 Make a Wish
grey (Trailer)
(from Sammon - Manner of Death & Triage) about a doctor who can see the dead and strikes a bargain with a wish-granting irreverent tree angel to try and cure himself - naturally they fall in love. Stars Fluke Natouch opposite not Ohm, but who cares bc Fluke has chemistry with everybody. Once again the Thai afterlife is incredibly bureaucratic but I enjoyed the premise and the unfolding of the story (it’s not predictable but still satisfying and with nice little twist). I like that the doctor is just gay af and has a fag hag bestie and everything. The cast is excellent but the comedic stylings are often too overblown and tonally off. It had sad parts and did make me cry but is ultimately happy with a great sex scene, good smiley kisses, and all the agency.
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7 HIStory 3: Trapped
Viki
Basically the definition of enemies to lovers from Lin Pei Yu. This is a cop + the mafia man he is chasing but WAIT, they fall in love. Added bonus side couple: assassin and nerd cop ALSO falling in love. It’s great. All the leads are stellar. Its high heat, fun action, and a bit of a mystery drama but pretty about all of it. My only warning is that the main couple doesn’t entirely end up together, it’s implied, but… amorphous ending.
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8 Never Let Me Go
YouTube
Bodyguard romance where poor boy must watch over rich boy for family obligation reasons. Simple premise well executed with a few bumps that made it feel like it was trying to tackle too much (when it wasn’t). Still, an enjoyable show that benefited from being handed to PondPhuwin who did a stellar job with their roles and chemistry. Of GMMTV handing out new series to established pairs in 2023 this is one of the most successful IMHO. It's typically Thai in that it's a bit bloated and has a confusing plot, but at least it HAD a plot and the central relationship is solid and loyal. The Our Skyy 2 follow up is great too. And very much adds to the cannon in a fun way rather than feeling superfluous - making this show ultimately 14 eps rather than 12.
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9 The Eclipse
YouTube
GMMTV does gay Blacklist with a good boy/bad boy pairing. This is a good show but the cast is excellent and the leads are absolutely flawless, which elevates it beyond just "a good show." We got a nuanced and multifaceted burgeoning relationship: philosophical (and socio-political) conflict contrasted to moments of empathy; flirtation contrasted to moments of genuine affection, plus plenty of angst. This narrative is less about love than it is about courage and tenderness. However, near the end the pacing was off and the plot frustrating. Still, this is an enjoyable watch, with a finale that features verbal consent and a fun blooper reel.
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10 Ghost Host Ghost House
YouTube
This is light horror combined with family drama built around a well executed BL trough-line that felt honestly queer with fantastic chemistry from the lead pair. (I hope that we see more of them.) Pluem delivers the softest most seductive krap ever, Tod Techit (Kewin) is one of the prettiest humans on the planet, and watching these boys flirt over noodles is an unalloyed pleasure. Use of I/you pronouns is super interesting and cute as well. For me, personally, the surrounding cast, premise, and story didn’t resonate but if you like a touch of gothic in your BL this might appeal.
BONUS!
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3 Will Be Free
YouTube
Queer AF crime thriller about three 20 somethings on the run after accidentally killing an assassin: a grifter, a nerdy mafia kid, and a stripper. They're chased by more assassins out for revenge.
It’s actually a remarkable piece of storytelling, using a pressure cooker of tension and suspense to bring about investigations into what love, romance, friendship, and identity actually mean. This show probably doesn’t qualify as BL but it does qualify as very very queer.
What it does well is examine many different aspects of queer identity, morality, and life choices based on repression and or acceptance of that identity using the framework of a crime triller.
It’s an adventure narrative, our three main characters are on the run together, being chased by assassins who are themselves dealing with the grief that results from love, all kinds of love. Meanwhile the 3 protagonists fall in love with each other and explore the boundaries and meaning of friendship/love.
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Manner of Death
WeTV
Gay romantic suspense series with added cactus baby. Doctor & Mafia boy can't keep hands off each other, so also end up with chili plant baby.
Am I making sense? No? Well neither does it, but ho boy is it fun to watch MaxTul do... whatever it is they're doing.
I like MoD a lot but I’m conflicted over it being actual BL. It’s a great gay romantic suspense, although the mystery element is its primary weakness.
MaxTul, the Kings of Chemistry, are, of course, perfect and perfectly cast (and chemically unfair), but their romance thread is more a distraction than an addition. Still, I could watch them make-out the phonebook. Watch along here.
(source)
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isa-ghost · 2 months
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was reading through your q!phil hc masterpost and was wondering if you could add any of your codebreakers/etoilza headcanons into the fray…? :3
YESSSS I CAN'T BELIEVE IT TOOK THIS LONG TO GET ASKED /LH
qPhil headcanons masterlist
RESTATES for my and your convenience (heads up, there are suggestive/mildly explicit mentions!!):
--He's FWB with Etoiles. Extremely QPR, Etoiles is an aro king --He and Phil started out as friends and that has Barely changed if at all, but sparring matches get a little too homoerotic sometimes and neither of them can resist the other when they're popping off extra hard. Things have. Escalated a few times. If yknow what I mean. Of all Phil's harem members polycule partners, he & Etoiles have absolutely ZERO emotional investment in the Spicy(tm) things they do together. It's simply a very intimate way of showing each other their respect & admiration for the other. What they have going on is a "*spanks you* good game, let's hit the showers team" kinda deal. They're the type of mfs to finish in bed then shake hands like "gg." Casual sex is >>>> to these two, but it happens waaay less between them than it did Phil & Fit, Fitza was habitual (pre-Pac). Codebreakers is a once in a while thing --Etoiles has 100% asked Phil who fucks the best out of the polycule bc like everything else, it's a competition & he Must win, he Must have the best dick game. This amuses Phil very much --Phil is attracted to Etoiles the same way he's attracted to Fit, HOWEVER, the reasoning is different. Etoiles has raw skill and talent, but it's the way he wields it and demonstrates it that makes Phil wanna act up. Also Etoiles is fucking hilarious. Who can resist a good sense of humor? Those dramatics make Phil swoon --Etoiles is one of the people who is best at catching Phil's Tells for when something is wrong --Etoiles is one of few people who can convince (or goad) Phil into doing something he normally wouldn't, especially if he's drunk --Speaking of Phil being drunk around Etoiles, the way he can still absolutely body someone or snipe smth from miles away makes Etoiles want to kiss him stupid --Etoiles left a scar on Phil's back during Purgatory when he killed him Day 1. Phil didn't know for the longest time, but it took him a while to show him his wings after that. --Phil was genuinely afraid of Etoiles (& Fit) for a while after Purgatory --Sometimes Phil's laughs and startled yelps sound almost like squawks. Also his hiccups. It's very rare, but whenever it happens, he gets teased for it. Especially by Etoiles. --Phil goes back and forth on gifting one of his shed feathers to Etoiles --Technically all of the Polycule vs Ender King hcs apply to Etoiles in some way --Phil could listen to Etoiles teach him about French culture for hours
And now the new stuff :D
Etoiles's dramatics can get Phil in tears laughing. His sides and stomach will hurt before it's over, and Etoiles can go on for MINUTES. Sometimes he'll keep going purely because it has Phil dying so hard and he loves seeing what a kick Phil gets out of it
Etoiles is (playfully) salty that Phil is such a My Kids Come First kinda guy bc GOD does he want Phil to be down to do dangerous pvp and dungeon busting shit without the "euuu we gotta make sure it's safe" aspect more often. He wants that Angel of Death. Etoiles is the #1 Dadza (Derogatory) islander /lh
See, Fitza is more explicit and deadass about their,, Time together. Codebreakers is more subtle. Yknow that "media literacy is knowing when something that isn't gay sex is gay sex" post? That's Codebreakers. Sparring, dungeon busting, whatever high-risk high-exertion thing they're doing together. That.
It should go without saying how down Etoiles would be to throw hands with Ender King. It would be the most exhilarating fight he's ever had
Phil's still lowkey lost about the whole resistance thing. And schedules lately have not been kind to the two of them, so he hasn't had a chance to talk about it with Etoiles as extensively about it as he'd like to
Btw he's secretly concerned as hell smth bad is gonna happen to Etoiles if more of his body becomes corrupted by code :)
They 100% refer back to the time Etoiles said this regularly, and similar things like it. The same can be said for Fitza but my god the extent to which these two are more than willing to kill for each other. OUGH.
Phil does not realize how much pent up stress and emotion he can vent out via sparring or hitting something really fucking hard. Etoiles is going to fix that one day.
Phil's Etoiles impression has made Etoiles attempt to learn how to mimic Phil in retaliation but he cannot for the life of him get the hang of Phil's fuckass accent. Geordies stay winning to this man's dismay
Etoiles is frustratingly yet fascinatingly hard for Phil to clock sometimes. It's difficult to gauge exactly how he's feeling or what he's thinking. And yet as inconvenient that can be sometimes, something about it is incredibly attractive to Phil at the same time. Which is funny because unpredictability is usually not something his survivalist brain would like. Something about how he trusts Etoiles and therefore his being a wildcard is not so scary,,
Etoiles 🤝🏻 Chayanne - Wanting Phil to take them on a flight
I don't know if I'd call Etoiles an anarchist the same way I would Phil, but either way he is SO DOWN to fuck with the Feds if it entails any kind of pvp or the need to be geared up
Ok listen I have to call back to the gay sex subtext thing. Things that are more sex than gay sex to Codebreakers: Sparring, adrenaline, battles of wit, flexing powerful gear, thinking too much about what an absolute potential killing machine the other is, watching one another be in The Zone during a fight
Phil has more physical strength than skill with weapons and Etoiles has more skill with weapons than physical strength. Ok now imagine that while they're in a 2v# fight
I would not put it past Etoiles to pull a Missa and say smth wildly out of pocket and suggestive so fast in French that Phil doesn't catch it.
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blankvort · 1 month
Text
tangentially animal-related hcs 4 the mean girls crew bc i am now responsible for giving a goldfish daddy issues
cady
inexplicably allergic to dogs and always in the first four stages of grief about it. don’t @ me about the medical semantics i just want her to suffer a little
tried to get a job at petco the second she turned eighteen but learned of the above information in the most destructive job interview since janis’s application to be the local coffee shop’s cool gay barista (they were worried that she’d swear at fighter-jet-takeoff volumes if she touched hot coffee) (she did, but only because they started playing a shitty pop cover of one of damian’s fave show tunes) and came out of the building a puddle of mucous and tears
grossly fascinated by the grossest of primitive functions. her insta page is all dope and authentic until you find a selfie taken using the back camera 0.5x with the corpse of an effervescent snail and a bunch of reels telling you how to narrow down what bird species are destroying your garden by the splay of their shit
has a miniature aneurysm whenever movies get stuff wrong about animals. artistic liberties are granted to janis alone. like sure if she’s in the theater she’ll sit through the movie fisting popcorn down her throat but as soon as she gets out of there the entire mall becomes a soapbox for dissecting the bullshit sexual dimorphism of giving female animals eyeliner
thus while i know the headcanon of her loving the lion king is basically canon i think she’s absurdly secretive about it. like she’s burying her merchandise and blu-ray copies under her bed in the dead of night while secreting more sweat than should be possible. she could come out to her parents and elope to antarctica no problem but liking the lion king which implies that lighter manes = stronger lions is a death sentence
probably got banned from a bunch of zoos for interrupting field trips 
janis
had one of those angel/wolf/dragon/whatever hybrid phases as a kid like all good artists. did those like. not quite furry but not quite human animal art commissions on twitter for a while for the funnies but discovered a lucrative market and never turned back
does not know how to hold human or animal babies. like she’s good at taking care of them in terms of general physical and intellectual nourishment but that limp wrist is not supporting any necks properly
mercilessly makes fun of the whole “would you love me if i was a worm” trend. she doesn’t even love most humans what makes you think she has any answer for you regarding that other than that she’d turn you into a super deep art piece museums would purchase for exorbitant amounts
that being said she feels like a vivarium girlie to me. she’s nocturnal like a pillbug and post-canon constantly tries to convince the plastics that her pacman frog is poisonous
feeds her meticulously decorated ant farm gourmet meals every day. anyone else gets microwavable mac and cheese at best
this one probably won’t make sense unless you’re a jenny nicholson fan but she has a fake id for buying wine and turning the corks into those hallmark craft animal sculptures (and selling the open wine bottle to mrs george in back alleys)
damian
his grandma owns the most omnicidal chihuahua in the state of chicago. it’s how he learned to dance with such mental and physical dexterity. how else would he have survived visits to the nursing home
^ attempted to adopt the chihuahua’s children to have his own bruiser woods moment. turns out, even with his classically trained tenor voice, puppies and janis respond to the “drop it” command much the same way. that is to say they do not drop it and the puppies ran away with ninety nine per cent of his anastasia-inspired music box memorabilia
has a love-hate relationship with cats the musical. like memory is one of his top ten karaoke songs but he’s not going to admit it until he’s several fruity seltzers into the night. wishes all the actors in the movie had been replaced with real cats picked off the street before anything else was approved
played milky white in a scammy local production of into the woods and so so so embarrassed about it. he had to be on stilts the whole show
stuck a fish in regina’s backpack sometime in sophomore year but found karen feeding it and talking to it about her worst fears and greatest dreams felt too guilty to continue with the next phase of his plan (sticking a very hot picture of janis in regina’s backpack) (karen probably would’ve tried to talk to the photo too)
regina
musical specific but i think she didn’t Exactly do a matching animal costume with gretch and karen because 1) what can you dress up as when your friends are going as a cat and a mouse. cheese? 2) had cady not moved into the neighborhood, she’d have gone as a sexy lion to ease into the prospect of. you know. with shane oman but going as a sexy lion when your shiny new homoerotic frenemy has a lion pin on half her clothing isn’t quite a non-questionable choice
had a warrior cats phase she keeps under lock and key in the very depths of her closet. her closet is an iceberg of issues that goes shein -> homosexuality -> warrior cats and climate change is doing a number on it
fried a couple of janis’s ants alive with a magnifying glass sometime before middle school. she’s never flirted normally in her life
the bulk of janis’s furry commission clientele. she has so many emails for alternate accounts that she could get every american president ever suspended from twitter if national security let her. that’s including the dead ones
remember the nigh-rabid chihuahuas damian had. yeah she’s been raising those in secret for a few years now. mrs george doesn’t notice because regina hides them in her hair and extensions are, like, totally in or whatever
had a horse girl phase. all her drawings of horses came out like this meme tho. the art freaks nickname was born out of jealousy
gretchen
chose to be a sexy cat for halloween to match with karen because she has no sense of identity. also because she remembers regina’s warrior cats phase
actually a guinea pig person. i’ve never met a guinea pig person but she feels like one. they’re both in dire need of daily interaction and likely polyamorous
but also peri-canon gretchen could not keep a pet alive she’d spend every cent of the wieners fortune on buying the animal’s love
speaking of. her family bought a stable to fuel “her” horse girl phase. she just wanted to make regina happy and couldn’t stay on a saddle if there was an escalator that plopped her right on the horse
cares about the puppy bowl more than she cares about the superbowl
instinctively pets cute animals. if they bite her then she deserved it
karen
chose to be a sexy mouse for halloween because tom and jerry was having a media marathon and she’s into that sort of power dynamic
believes in unicorns more than she believes in horses. this is because she had a horse girl phase for the hottest of seconds before realizing that none of the ponies at the apache trail sale had horns and thought they had their horns cut off for aesthetic reasons
animals love her so much. survived a jellyfish attack because the jellyfish sensed she just wanted to pet something shiny and absolutely respected that. pests of all shapes and sizes evict themselves stat when karen says her mom doesn’t appreciate her hundred thousand dollar lotions being invaded by peril-bringing insects. strays follow her 24/7. gretchen is jealous (of the animals)
thinks tigers are very sick zebras
thinks blobfish are cuter when they’re all flesh putty out of their natural habitats but would also break into a zoo if she thought the animals were being mistreated
was banned from australia at the age of eight because she tried to have a sleepover in a kangaroo’s pouch
aaron
mean girls insta described him as a golden retriever so i’m also hcing him as being allergic to dogs <3 equality
becomes deeply fearful of all fauna after falling into a research rabbit hole for the sake of connecting with cady. what do you mean buffalo are some of the deadliest beasts on the planet and not just a type of chicken wing
kevin g
a preteen vsco girl in her granola advocacy era stuck in a teenage boy’s body. he has saved more turtles than any natucate volunteer by repurposing his rejected business cards to make a selfie stick long enough to stick him in the same selfie as gretchen wieners. the selfie stick has been in progress since daycare. he has also gone to the hospital more than any natucate volunteer do not trust this man with shop class equipment
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wolfoftheblackflames · 2 months
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So I was browsing Tumblr since I like to do that sometimes, and bam! I got hit with a fic inspiration... Anyway here you go misfits! (This is set after the new hotel is built)
Girls' day feat. Angel Dust:
“Uh why the fuck is he here?”
Those words came out when the last of the invited arrived at Charlie’s little get-together. It was Angel Dust wearing a beautiful pink crop top and black shorts with sparkly neon pink heels as he grinned. “I was invited toots.”
“Ya got a problem with Angie?” Cherri growled at Vaggie, who lifted her hands in defense. “No, just thought he'd be with the guys..”
Angel Dust just laughed. “You're just jealous cause I can easily out girl ya toots.” He playfully sneered, fluffing up his sexy chest fluff.
Vaggie just growled a bit, though blinked as she heard the door only to see Charlie come back with the cutest looking outfit on, which was free flowing grey crop top with small sleeves that exposed her shoulders and a beautiful pair of casual jeans. Instantly she blushed a bit and looked away. “Ha, look at the blush on the fuckin’ munchkin!” Cherri chuckled, nudging her best friend Angel who joined in with a snicker. Even Niffty who sat on the couch couldn't help but giggle. “She looks like a lamp.”
Charlie pursed her lips clearly not liking the teasing. She flashed the others with her demonic red and white eyes to get them to stop. “Uh whoops, so uh what cha got in the box?” Angel laughed nervously.
“I'm glad you asked, since it's a girl's day I figured we could have a fun spa session!” The princess grinned, placing the box down and opening it.
Inside said box was a bunch of different skin care products, nail polish, scented body lotions, and much more. “I ain't one for just relaxin’ but Angie convinced me.” Cherri stated picking up one of the nail polish, a beautiful shimmering yellow like his eyes. Her face fell since it had only been several weeks since the battle with heaven.
“Seriously Cherri, ya needed it, besides we all miss our little snake.” Angel placed one of his arms around her. “Now let's see how this color looks on ya sugar tits.” He grinned trying to cheer up his best bud.
Vaggie smiled a bit. She knew the loss of Sir Pentious weighed on everyone. However, with the new hotel, it was a chance to move forward. She went over to the box and smirked. “He did like the smell of mint.” The angel held up some hand lotion to Cherri, who blinked.
“There wasn't a day where I didn't see that snake with either a cup of coffee or tea.” Angel mused as Cherri took the lotion with a nod. To her it felt weird, people actually being nice, to have had a man who complimented her mind instead of her hot as fuck body, and that kiss, fuck it had been kinda hot.
Cherri smirked a bit. “He was fun to pick on, the slimy shit.” She took off her gloves and casually applied the lotion. It really wasn't her style but she didn't mind it.
Charlie smiled a bit seeing how Cherri relaxed. She was hoping to recruit the bombardier but the woman had turned her down. “So Angel..” She smirked in a sing-song like tone. “I saw the eyes you were giving Husk. What's up with that?” She playfully poked the spider.
Angel blinked and cleared his throat. Even Cherri looked up at him and smirked evilly. “Don't you start too!” He groaned but blinked as Niffty giggled.
“I'm not one for the gay stuff, but I did notice ehehe. He always pours your drink first.” She smirked with her wide toothy grin. “I think that cat has grown soft.”
Angel blinked at Niffty, but then had a soft smile of his own. “During the before battle shit I wanted to stick by the guy and enjoy his drinks and company.” He admitted with a light blush.
“I saw you two flirtin’ durin’ the whole thing!” Cherri nudged with a grin.
Charlie squeed having the same look she had when Sir Pentious confessed his crush for Cherri to her. “I'm rooting for you Angel!”
Vaggie lightly punched his arm. “You got this.”
Angel just chuckled and hugged the girls. “Daww you ladies are makin’ me blush!” He grinned. “Now which of these would Kitty like?” He asked while releasing the girls so he could dig through the box.
Charlie smiled and picked out a gorgeous starry night nail polish. “This would look so good on you, Vaggie!” She grinned as Vaggie blinked. “Alright hon, go ahead.”
Angel chuckled seeing Charlie take out a nail care kit first. “Could you do my nails too blondie?” He asked “Sure!”
Cherri blinked being tugged on by Niffty who held up a very pretty perfume bottle. “Try this, it smells really nice!” The little maid grinned, spritzing some onto Cherri’s wrist. “Oh, it's kinda got a musky scent.” She mused as Niffty nodded. “It smells nice doesn't it?”
“Reminds me of the shit Pen would wear.” Angel replied with a smirk. “Where’d ya find that one Niff?”
“I got it from the store, I also sprayed every bottle so I could find the right one.” She snickered since she made the clerk really pissed that day.
“Ya turned the store into a mustard gas situation?!” Cherri smirked and ruffled Niffty’s hair. “Yer a fuckin’ freak, I like ya.”
Angel rolled his eyes but then looked at Vaggie and tilted his head. “Hey toots, why are ya sittin’ cross legged?” He asked with a playful smirk. “Are ya tryin’ to hide your tiny ass feet?”
Vaggie flipped him off. “I don't see you taking off your heels. So you don't get to say shit.” She retorted with a smug look.
Angel grumbled and flipped her off right back. He didn't exactly like his feet, hell when he did his pornos he begged Val to keep his sexy heels on mentioning that sick fucks would be extra horny for the mystery. Cherri looked over and got up. “Hey Angie?”
“Yeah?” Angel looked at Cherri. “Wanna try on these fuckin’ sexy ass heels?” She grinned showing Angel some beautiful black leather laced up heeled boots.
The spider demon's eyes lit up as he took the shoes. “Fucking hell Cherri Bomb, where did ya get these beauties?”
Vaggie blinked and tilted her head. “Those actually look nice…” She added seeing the beautiful pink trim along the top and sole. “I know right? Bought these bitches for Angie cause the fucker loves his sexy heels.” Cherri showed a wide grin as Angel chuckled.
Charlie giggled, seeing the heels. “What are you waiting for? Try them on Angel!” She playfully coaxed, having finished applying the nail polish to Vaggie's beautiful nails.
Angel blushed a bit however looked at the girls. “Turn around for a sec and I will.” He replied looking at his glittery heels.
Vaggie noticed his hesitation and sighed. She was going to regret this but took off her own heels to reveal cute little feet making Charlie squeak. “You want me to paint these too?” She asked as Vaggie nodded.
Angel blinked at the gesture, he then looked at Cherri who looked a bit surprised but smirked. “Don't worry Angie, I'll beat any dumbfuck who messes with ya.” The bombshell grinned patting her spider boi on the shoulder.
The pornstar gulped a bit but nodded as he started undoing the buckles of his beautiful sparkly boots. He gave Vaggie a small thankful nod as the latter smiled a bit. Soon his small cute spider-like clawed feet wiggled free, tipped with his pinkish white fur and small little claws. He looked over and spotted Charlie who had removed her own shoes revealing small red hooves. “Huh…” He smiled a bit, feeling a little less awkward thanks to the two girls.
“Here catch.” Vaggie tossed Angel some beautiful glittery neon pink nail polish. “Hey thanks Vags.” He smirked looking it over.
Cherri blinked but smirked a bit. These folks were alright in her book even if some were a stickler for the rules. “Here let me apply it.” She asked Angel who blinked. “Oh sure..”
Niffty easily grabbed one of Charlie’s hooves, making the princess yelp and started to look it over. “Ooo! Kinda like what Alastor has, except yours are smaller than his..” The maid giggled only to be accidentally kicked in the face when she touched a ticklish spot.
“Shit! Sorry Niff!” Charlie gasped, looking horrified. “Yay pain!” The maid cooed springing back up from the wall she had smacked into because of the power behind the kick. “Do it again!”
Cherri just laughed. “Damn, looks like the goody two shoes has some power. Ya practically punted the tiny bitch.” She smirked as Charlie groaned. “I didn't mean to!”
Vaggie had to shoo Niffty away to keep the maid from trying to get Charlie to kick her again. “Hey Niff, check this out, there's bleach in the next room!” Angel smirked as the maid instantly scurried off with a rabid expression and grin. “Thanks…” Charlie sighed in relief.
Angel winked at Vaggie as a ‘the favor has been repaid’ gesture. The angel smirked a bit and casually started to pamper those cute little hooves. “It's a spa day isn't it, you get some pampering too princesa.” (Princess)
Charlie blushed as Vaggie massaged the ankles. She then looked over at Angel who smirked playfully. “Aww ain't that cute, betcha two get into some fun kinky shit in the bedroom eh?” He teased as Charlie started to blush and sizzle. “I think they're those vanilla type fuckers. Looks like it anyway.” Cherri smirked as Vaggie grumbled trying to pay no mind to the teasing though her golden blush was starting to show again.
The more lewd duo laughed amused at the flustered couple's reaction, though Angel smirked a bit at his painted toe nails, he soon slipped on those beautiful boots looking more comfortable.
--
While everyone was chatting, Charlie got a phone call. “I'll be right back, babe.” She gave Vaggie a kiss on the cheek and left to take it.
Cherri and Angel smirked at Vaggie who gave a confused look. “What?”
“Hey feather duster, wanna spice yourself up for your girl?” Angel smirked holding up some lotions. “Don't cha wanna see yer blondie practically fuckin’ sizzlin’?” Cherri chimed in with a playful smirk. Niffty giggled seeing Vaggie squirm.
“I know what she likes, I don't need your help..” The angel turned away with a cute huff. Though the golden blush gave it away that she did want to.
Angel smirked and nodded at Cherri and Niffty. “This is gonna be fun.” The spider man took out a comb and some hair products. “W-wait!” Vaggie gulped while caught off guard.
After an hour Charlie came back into the room annoyed. “Husk says that my dad and Alastor are fighting again, and they nearly burned down the lobby with a cook off..” She groaned coming back into the room. “Huh?”
Cherri and Niffty blocked her view. “And done!” Angel grinned moving away. “Go ahead and let the blondie through.”
“Ehehehe, enjoy the treat princess.” Niffty bowed and scurried away.
Cherri gave a thumbs up and moved as Charlie looked very confused. “What are..” She couldn't finish her sentence as she then spotted Vaggie.
“Hi hon..” The angel blushed with her hair looking so fluffy and wavy now. There was even a braid that brought some of the bangs back to expose the soft features of Vaggie's face. Charlie just stared as the scent of both apples and lavender filled her nose. “Ha! She's speechless!” Cherri laughed and gave a thumbs up to Angel.
Angel chuckled but blinked, coming over to Charlie. “Uh hello? You there, blondie?” He poked her, and Charlie fell over red-faced. “Whoa!”
Cherri just burst out laughing as Vaggie ran over. “Ya made her a fuckin’ knock out Angie!”
“So… pwetty…” Charlie mumbled her eyes swirling with her tail out wagging. She looked like she was drunk. “Come on sweetie, let's get you off the floor..” Vaggie easily picked up Charlie who laid like a cute little snake, her face looking dopey and in love.
Vaggie looked at Angel who gave a smug look. She grumbled but fist bumped the spider twink who grinned at his work.
Though the rumbling of the hotel made this day come to an end as Lucifer was chasing Alastor who was laughing like a mad man, with Husk coming out and shaking his head, clearly not drunk enough for this shit.
(This all started because I saw Vaggie had tiny feet and remembered the fact Angel didn't like his own feet...)
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narrynukezankielover · 5 months
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If you love Jared please don’t read this.
I started watching Supernatural about 4 months ago. Never wanted to watch to watch but YouTube kept recommending Misha and Jensen con interviews and Destiel videos (I’m guessing where I love Good Omens and was watching a bunch of Crowley and Aziraphale videos the site assumed I’d like almost any gay stuff) and finally I gave in. Basically I started watching because I ended up loveing Misha especially and Jensen and wanted to see if I’d love their characters. Got a bit pissed when I found out I’d have to watch 3 seasons before Cas even comes into it but I watched anyway. First of all I’m not a fan of the first 3 seasons they remind me of the first season of Gotham before they changed to arc seasons but I like season 4. I would love to know how the hell is Jared is the star of the show? I’m not saying that because I hate the guy (which I do. He’s a 2 year old in a 40ish year old body. I also HATE how he treats Misha. I don’t care if he is the star that doesn’t give him the right to physically hurt the guy. Yes Misha lot of the times laughs it off but that’s just because he’s too nice to tell him to stop. The story that Misha and Jensen told once where Jared was really irritating Misha on set and yes Jensen joined in but I think Jensen said he noticed how upset Misha was and he stopped and the next day he apologized and said that Jared doesn’t know when he’s gone too far is just insane to me. How can an adult be so childish. It’s fine to play jokes on each other but that’s going way too far.) I’m saying it because Dean seems to be more in the show and have more stories with him plus in real life Jensen seems to do more with Supernatural. It’s just my opinion but it does seem like Jensen should be the star.
As someone who is watching these eps for the first time I can tell you there is a lot of Destiel in just the first few Cas eps. I’ve read that the first time they looked at each other with heart eyes was in the first 4 eps so I had to look for myself. The first time I noticed they looked at each other with softened eyes (wouldn’t really call it heart eyes) is the scene in the park on the benches. Then the ep Heaven And Hell is full of Destiel stuff. Sam was ready to kill all the angels he asked if the was anything that could kill angels but the look on Deans face was oh f*ck no. I’m sure he wouldn’t have a problem with killing Uriel since he doesn’t keep it a secret he hates him so obviously it’s Cas he doesn’t want to hurt. Then when the angel misses was telling Dean what it’s like being an angel and that if you don’t obey orders you get killed it’s like he understood what Cas was saying on the bench. That he’s not like the other angels and that he has questions. I think that’s when Dean started thinking about Cas differently then he did before. I found it interesting that when Uriel told Dean that Cas has a weakness and it’s that he likes Dean Dean didn’t really react. He now knows why he got out of hell. He knows Cas didn’t pick him just because he had a crush on him or anything he picked him because he was told to do it to help stop the apocalypse. The weakness part is the interesting part because you wouldn’t call someone’s friend their weakness. That’s usually when people are extremely close or family. Yet Dean didn’t react like he was disgusted or confused it was more just ok an angel likes me that’s fine. The next interesting thing is when Dean and misses kissed. Cas looked like he couldn’t handle watching it then he even turned away. I know Misha said he wasn’t playing Cas in love with Dean from the beginning it wasn’t until a little later when he realized there was something there so if that’s the case why would he react this way to Dean kissing a girl? Was it maybe Mishas actual feelings? Then at the fighting scene I love that when Dean saw that Cas couldn’t fight back he protected him. I seriously doubt Sam would’ve done that. Then at the end Cas stopped Uriel from attacking Dean. Cas has been in only a few eps and yet Cas and Dean are already protecting each other. I find that so cute. Then the little eye stare at the end was amazing.
Lastly from almost the start of the show they make gay comments about Dean. Normally it is about Dean and Sam which is absolutely disgusting considering they’re brothers but I noticed Sam just corrects the person then moves on but not Dean he keeps questioning why the person thought he was gay. He then goes and flirts with guys. Why do the writers keep putting Dean in those situations and not Sam. Obviously Dean is bi.
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treedaddymcpuffpuff · 4 months
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Beneath Miles of Stone - Part five - John Wick x Plus Size Fem Reader
Summary: John has been in prison for nine months. He’s content to stay if it means appeasing the high table and keeping peace between the owners of each continental. However, he meets someone who erases that willingness. Peace be dammed.
TW: Bullying
Michael has a lot of stuff. A lot of heavy stuff. Despite him assuring her that he can move it all in on his own, she still wants to help.
It would be kind of a dick move if she didn’t assist with all of this. An hour in, and the apartment is already transformed from bland and empty into a hoard of pastel rainbow decor and soft white staple pieces. 
She takes a break to admire the painting of a fluffy white angel cat over watercolor Van Gogh scenery. Michael comes through the door, panting, with his white, vintage microwave in tow.
“Who painted this?” She asks him.
He smiles, blushes, puts the microwave down and then his hand on his hips. “I did.”
Her eyes grow wide. “This is amazing.”
He chuckles. “Thank you.”
She likes Michael a lot already, but she’s also very jealous of him and his many talents and cool possessions. He makes her want to decorate and be creative, both skills she’s never been able to possess correctly.
She hasn’t gotten the key made yet, so she goes out and does that while he starts unpacking his things. By the time she’s done, her apartment looks astonishing. Fairy lights twinkle over gauze white curtains and a big speaker plays soft hiphop music in one corner of the living room. Her couch is full of comfy white and grey fluffy throw pillows. An incense burner releases gourmand, smoky aroma into the air.
Michael is stretched out on the couch, taking a break, watching Legally Blonde on DVD. Her small TV is now in her room and his bigger flatscreen dwarfs the stand that it was on.
She sits down beside him with two glasses of water. Before she can set hers down on the coffee table, he stops her. “Wait! Coasters!”
He digs through two boxes of stuff before he finds white marble coasters for them to set their drinks on.
She laughs at him and he grins back. “I know, I know,” he tells her, “typical trust fund kid BS.”
“You’re fine,” she tells him. “I was laughing at the coasters because the table is already a mess.”
“Listen,” he says, “this table just needs some tee ell cee . A sander and some paint would do her wonders.” He pats the wooden top.
“Can I help?” She asks, excited to take on a project with a new friend.
“Of course you can,” he assures.
She remembers him telling her that his mother is an artist. “Did your mom teach you to paint?”
He nods. “She also taught me how to make miniatures. You know, like dollhouses but for adults?”
“That’s amazing. Do you trade art with her?”
“I do,” he says, “we send things back and forth in the mail. Although my dad says it ‘ clogs up their post office box ’.”
“He’s not a fan of art?”
Michael snorts. “He hates everything except golf. Sometimes I think he hates me.”
She shakes her head. “Does he really hate you? You’re the perfect son.”
Michael sighs. “No, but he hates gay people, so it’s close enough. When I first came out to him, if my mother wouldn’t have been there, he would’ve probably shot me. He’s a real man’s man if you know what I mean..”
She nods, smiling ruefully. “Oh, I know exactly what you mean.”
Michael thinks for a moment. “We should get a dog.”
“I would love that, but it’s no pets here.” She frowns.
He raises his eyebrows and sips at his water. “What they don’t know won’t hurt them.”
They decide it has to be a quiet dog, one from the local shelter who’s comfortable being alone at night. They look online for local pounds to read up on some potential candidates.
“Rocky. Pitbull mix. Potty trained, good with kids and other pets, sweet and loves everyone.” She shows Michael a picture of a medium sized black, stout dog with shiny grey eyes.
Michael shows her his own selection, a retired service beagle named Winnie. “Short for Winnifred,” he reads, “loves people and other pets, very polite, and hardly ever barks.”
“I love them both,” she groans, leaning back into the couch cushions.
“Same,” Michael sighs. “It’s one in the afternoon. Do you work tonight?”
“Yup.” She presses an arm over her face, blocking out the ceiling light.
“Don’t you have to sleep?” He asks.
She’s not tired at all because she slept through the night, but she agrees because Michael sounds like he needs some alone time. Plus, her DVDs and TV are in her room now, and if she can’t sleep she can watch an old horror movie again.
The problem isn’t getting to sleep, it’s staying there - waking up sweating, gasping, whining John’s  name. She slaps her mouth shut, presses her face into her pillow, and prays to any deity listening that her voice wasn’t loud enough for Michael to hear. First day in the new place and his roommate has a wet dream. It would make any sane person want to revoke their rental agreement immediately.
She should be embarrassed and anxious that Michael potentially heard her, but instead she’s grinding against her sheets and thinking of tall men handcuffed to beds.
This won’t work. This isn’t working. She’s so pent up that it’s borderline painful. It’s taking over her mind. She sticks her hand into her sleep pants, past her underwear, and into a sloppy mess, tries to think about anything but John while she rubs her clit, but in doing so her brain latches onto the thought of him and pretty soon he’s the only thing on her mind. It’s like her body thinks John and pleasure are one and the same.
She tries to paint a decent fantasy of what she would like sex with him to be, but really she doesn’t give a shit as long as it’s him. And that’s what scares her. He could be absolutely celibate and she’d still crave him, and this is the worst time for her to realize that because her alarm is going off for work.
She orgasms at the cost of being ten minutes late.
The locker room lights are off when she goes to put her things away, which is unusual. Since she started, they’ve been lit around the clock. In fact, she’s not even sure where the light switch is in here because she’s never had to use it. Fumbling around in the pitch black is making her even tardier. Finally, she finds the switch and flips it. The room illuminates, and standing under the migraine-inducing glow is someone who makes headaches seem like a dream come true.
Benny grins from his seat on the bench, which he quickly abandons in favor of looming over her. Once again, the sweaty, edematous mass of him blocks her exit.
She’s too busy contemplating if anyone would hear her scream to see him hold his open palm out expectantly.
“Give it to me,” he says.
“What?” She asks, imagining in another universe she sounds angry and oppositional instead of whiny and terrified. In another universe, she can also kick his ass. Not in this one, though. In this universe, she does as Benny demands and hands him her phone so she doesn’t have to suffer through the touch of his greasy skin a second time.
He holds her phone in one hand while the other holds his own. She doesn’t bother trying to see what he’s doing because she can’t get her feet to move let alone stand on tiptoes and look over his shoulder.
This goes on for a while in which her only thought consists of asking herself if she could run to the door and make it into the populated infirmary before he can catch her. Again, this is a solution mainly dependent on her stubborn feet.
She’s not really worried about what he sees on her phone. It’s what he’s getting from it that sets her pulse careening.
He reaches out and tries to shove it into her jacket pocket, but luckily that’s when her feet decide to save her and step away from his hands. He scowls at her like she just insulted his mother.
“Fine.” Benny opens his hand and drops her phone on the stone floor. She winces when she hears the shatter, then looks back up at his pleased expression.
“Remember our trip.” He pushes past her, not enough to hurt but to make her yelp and stumble, and slams the door shut on his way out.
Her phone isn’t broken. The screen has a tiny crack in one corner but other than that it’s still perfect. She doesn’t understand why she heard it shatter, but chalks it up to losing her mind from repeated stress and unregulated sleep.
She grabs her bag from her locker and brings it with her to the nurse’s station, labeling the locker room as an unsafe and off limits space, which are becoming more bountiful by the day.
John is not her patient tonight. On her day off they must have had an influx of admissions because she’s responsible for 10 of them and the infirmary is unusually and appropriately staffed.
Her hopes of his nurse trading him are slim to none because he’s a wonderful patient and over time everyone has seemed to agree that they want him on their assignment sheet.
The other nurse’s that take and give her report always talk about what a cool, easy going guy he is and how they’re surprised that he needs that many guards with him.
“What do you think he did?” Stan, one of the day shift nurses, asks her.
“My bet’s on released a circus full of wild animals and let them trample a small town, but I could be wrong.” She taps her pen against her report sheet and laughs at her own joke.
Stan snorts. “He probably killed some rich guys.”
The other nurses like him so much that most of their theories on why John is in four point restraints with four men guarding him at all times is because he’s done something valiant that pissed someone powerful off.
That’s probably the other reason his wound looks better; not just because of her, but because if you like a patient or connect with them you’re more than likely going to give them the best care you can provide.
If she’s honest, it kind of makes her feel sick. Not because everyone has grown to like John, but because that means she’ll have less chance of being his nurse from here on out. Also, she knows it’s five-year-old mentality, but she liked him and treated him well first while the other ones had to get to know him beforehand.
Her case load is heavy. A couple IV’s, wound changes, someone with a tracheostomy. She sits down to chart, finally, at 3 AM.
One of the other nurses, Bill, calls for her across the hall.
She fights the urge to groan while standing on sore feet and walking over to his medication cart.
Bill grins at her, looking like he’s really enjoying himself. “My patient in 9 wants to see you.”
“Me?” She asks.
Bill shrugs, still looking very amused. “He says he needs to tell you something.”
“What?”
“I don’t know,” Bill tells her. “Seems that he likes your company, though.” He gives an eyebrow raise at the awkward expression crawling onto her face.
She reminds herself that this her workplace for the 80th time and that Bill’s suggestive expressions are just him messing around. Joking. That’s all. He’s joking.
John is watching the door, waiting for her. When she pops in like a mouse and scurries to his bed, He feels the urge to pet her on the head for showing up, which is strange but not unwarranted. She does act like a cute little pet. That’s not the most respectable way to think of her, but he likes it so it sticks.
His smile is wide and genuine. “How’s the roommate search?”
“Uh, I got one.” She smiles timidly, hoping he doesn’t think she’s erratic and air-headed for finding someone so fast
His eyes widen just the smallest bit. “That’s good, are they nice?”
She nods too eagerly. “He’s great. And he has great decorations.”
The key word here - at least the one his ears attune to - is he. Not because a woman and a man living together automatically entails romance or connection, but because John knows men - John is a man - and most of them turn out to be less than good.
He tries not to look mean, to keep his smile, to focus on her being here with him in the present and alive and well; If he doesn’t, rage will start talking, nefarious, whispering sin in his ear, assuring him that it wouldn’t be hard to break out of these handcuffs and make sure her roommate becomes her loyal dog for the rest of the time he spends living with her.
“If you wouldn’t have suggested it, I’d probably be homeless by next week.” She tries to sway the conversation toward optimism because she sees something in his expression that reads like he’s a little upset. He probably does think she’s a moron at this point.
Maybe it’s just good that she’s happy. He tries to shift focus onto that. The roommate can’t be that bad if she’s so upbeat.
It’s been very easy to talk to John most times, but then there are moments like this when something awkward and unsaid hangs between them and more often than not she doesn’t know what it is. Maybe he doesn’t either.
“Just be careful,” is what he decides to say.
She chuckles. “I will, don’t worry.”
He doesn’t understand what’s funny.
One of the security guards stands, stretches, yawns. He says he’s going to take a break. The other guards are asleep, so once he leaves they’ll be, essentially, alone.
“I’m gonna go to vending, John you want anything?” He asks.
John shakes his head no. “Thanks.”
The security guard nods at both her and John and walks out.
“I’m sorry if I bothered you while you were busy,” he says, apologizing with his eyes, too. “I just wanted to make sure you were alright.”
She purses her lips, which he thinks means she’s trying not to leak an expression that will probably be embarrassing. Really, she’s trying to tame her lion heart back into its cage before it sinks its teeth into him and refuses to let go.
“I’m okay, John.” She attempts smiling. “You’re the one in the hospital bed.”
He shrugs like his stab wound and near death are just a hiccup.
She talks again. “And I’m glad you called me in. I like talking to you.”
His face is all smile now. “Likewise.”
He tells her to pull up a chair if she wants, and she steals one of the metal ones that the breaking guard left behind. She sits by his bedside and they have a conversation about the weather that turns into a discussion on harsh winters in Belarus.
“Did you grow up there?” She asks him.
He nods. “I traveled a lot.”
“So, you’re Russian?” She puts her chin in her palm and stares at him like he is the most interesting person in the world. She’s adorable like this.
“Yes. American, now.”
“Do you speak Russian?” Her eyebrows raise.
“da, ya krasivaya.” His tone automatically slides into a deep baritone when he says this.
He needs to be nerfed. Outlawed. He should not be handsome, nice, like-able, and be able to speak a different language in his perfect voice. It’s really not fair at all.
She’s too busy trying to tame her rogue thoughts to ask him what he even said. The desire to climb into his lap and straddle him crosses her mind twenty times in different ways. She blinks heavy. “You’re the coolest person I know.”
He murmurs a laugh.
They talk until the guard comes back from his break, mainly about Belarus and what it was like there and where else he has traveled. She’s not sure if she’s always had the desire to travel, but if she didn’t before she does now.
Although she has a ton of charting to catch up on, she doesn’t want to leave him. The taste of human connection is on her tongue after a couple years of abstinence and she’s becoming addicted.
When she leaves his room, it’s with inner reluctance and impressive self control.
She tells him to sleep. He promises he’ll try.
It would be easier to do her job if she wasn’t catching Benny sneering at her whenever they’re in the same space, but she gets through it, reasoning that John has it worse than her because he has to suffer through six hours with the asshole guard in his room.
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