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blankvort · 9 days

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tangentially animal-related hcs 4 the mean girls crew bc i am now responsible for giving a goldfish daddy issues

cady

inexplicably allergic to dogs and always in the first four stages of grief about it. don’t @ me about the medical semantics i just want her to suffer a little

tried to get a job at petco the second she turned eighteen but learned of the above information in the most destructive job interview since janis’s application to be the local coffee shop’s cool gay barista (they were worried that she’d swear at fighter-jet-takeoff volumes if she touched hot coffee) (she did, but only because they started playing a shitty pop cover of one of damian’s fave show tunes) and came out of the building a puddle of mucous and tears

grossly fascinated by the grossest of primitive functions. her insta page is all dope and authentic until you find a selfie taken using the back camera 0.5x with the corpse of an effervescent snail and a bunch of reels telling you how to narrow down what bird species are destroying your garden by the splay of their shit

has a miniature aneurysm whenever movies get stuff wrong about animals. artistic liberties are granted to janis alone. like sure if she’s in the theater she’ll sit through the movie fisting popcorn down her throat but as soon as she gets out of there the entire mall becomes a soapbox for dissecting the bullshit sexual dimorphism of giving female animals eyeliner

thus while i know the headcanon of her loving the lion king is basically canon i think she’s absurdly secretive about it. like she’s burying her merchandise and blu-ray copies under her bed in the dead of night while secreting more sweat than should be possible. she could come out to her parents and elope to antarctica no problem but liking the lion king which implies that lighter manes = stronger lions is a death sentence

probably got banned from a bunch of zoos for interrupting field trips

janis

had one of those angel/wolf/dragon/whatever hybrid phases as a kid like all good artists. did those like. not quite furry but not quite human animal art commissions on twitter for a while for the funnies but discovered a lucrative market and never turned back

does not know how to hold human or animal babies. like she’s good at taking care of them in terms of general physical and intellectual nourishment but that limp wrist is not supporting any necks properly

mercilessly makes fun of the whole “would you love me if i was a worm” trend. she doesn’t even love most humans what makes you think she has any answer for you regarding that other than that she’d turn you into a super deep art piece museums would purchase for exorbitant amounts

that being said she feels like a vivarium girlie to me. she’s nocturnal like a pillbug and post-canon constantly tries to convince the plastics that her pacman frog is poisonous

feeds her meticulously decorated ant farm gourmet meals every day. anyone else gets microwavable mac and cheese at best

this one probably won’t make sense unless you’re a jenny nicholson fan but she has a fake id for buying wine and turning the corks into those hallmark craft animal sculptures (and selling the open wine bottle to mrs george in back alleys)

damian

his grandma owns the most omnicidal chihuahua in the state of chicago. it’s how he learned to dance with such mental and physical dexterity. how else would he have survived visits to the nursing home

^ attempted to adopt the chihuahua’s children to have his own bruiser woods moment. turns out, even with his classically trained tenor voice, puppies and janis respond to the “drop it” command much the same way. that is to say they do not drop it and the puppies ran away with ninety nine per cent of his anastasia-inspired music box memorabilia

has a love-hate relationship with cats the musical. like memory is one of his top ten karaoke songs but he’s not going to admit it until he’s several fruity seltzers into the night. wishes all the actors in the movie had been replaced with real cats picked off the street before anything else was approved

played milky white in a scammy local production of into the woods and so so so embarrassed about it. he had to be on stilts the whole show

stuck a fish in regina’s backpack sometime in sophomore year but found karen feeding it and talking to it about her worst fears and greatest dreams felt too guilty to continue with the next phase of his plan (sticking a very hot picture of janis in regina’s backpack) (karen probably would’ve tried to talk to the photo too)

regina

musical specific but i think she didn’t Exactly do a matching animal costume with gretch and karen because 1) what can you dress up as when your friends are going as a cat and a mouse. cheese? 2) had cady not moved into the neighborhood, she’d have gone as a sexy lion to ease into the prospect of. you know. with shane oman but going as a sexy lion when your shiny new homoerotic frenemy has a lion pin on half her clothing isn’t quite a non-questionable choice

had a warrior cats phase she keeps under lock and key in the very depths of her closet. her closet is an iceberg of issues that goes shein -> homosexuality -> warrior cats and climate change is doing a number on it

fried a couple of janis’s ants alive with a magnifying glass sometime before middle school. she’s never flirted normally in her life

the bulk of janis’s furry commission clientele. she has so many emails for alternate accounts that she could get every american president ever suspended from twitter if national security let her. that’s including the dead ones

remember the nigh-rabid chihuahuas damian had. yeah she’s been raising those in secret for a few years now. mrs george doesn’t notice because regina hides them in her hair and extensions are, like, totally in or whatever

had a horse girl phase. all her drawings of horses came out like this meme tho. the art freaks nickname was born out of jealousy

gretchen

chose to be a sexy cat for halloween to match with karen because she has no sense of identity. also because she remembers regina’s warrior cats phase

actually a guinea pig person. i’ve never met a guinea pig person but she feels like one. they’re both in dire need of daily interaction and likely polyamorous

but also peri-canon gretchen could not keep a pet alive she’d spend every cent of the wieners fortune on buying the animal’s love

speaking of. her family bought a stable to fuel “her” horse girl phase. she just wanted to make regina happy and couldn’t stay on a saddle if there was an escalator that plopped her right on the horse

cares about the puppy bowl more than she cares about the superbowl

instinctively pets cute animals. if they bite her then she deserved it

karen

chose to be a sexy mouse for halloween because tom and jerry was having a media marathon and she’s into that sort of power dynamic

believes in unicorns more than she believes in horses. this is because she had a horse girl phase for the hottest of seconds before realizing that none of the ponies at the apache trail sale had horns and thought they had their horns cut off for aesthetic reasons

animals love her so much. survived a jellyfish attack because the jellyfish sensed she just wanted to pet something shiny and absolutely respected that. pests of all shapes and sizes evict themselves stat when karen says her mom doesn’t appreciate her hundred thousand dollar lotions being invaded by peril-bringing insects. strays follow her 24/7. gretchen is jealous (of the animals)

thinks tigers are very sick zebras

thinks blobfish are cuter when they’re all flesh putty out of their natural habitats but would also break into a zoo if she thought the animals were being mistreated

was banned from australia at the age of eight because she tried to have a sleepover in a kangaroo’s pouch

aaron

mean girls insta described him as a golden retriever so i’m also hcing him as being allergic to dogs <3 equality

becomes deeply fearful of all fauna after falling into a research rabbit hole for the sake of connecting with cady. what do you mean buffalo are some of the deadliest beasts on the planet and not just a type of chicken wing

kevin g

a preteen vsco girl in her granola advocacy era stuck in a teenage boy’s body. he has saved more turtles than any natucate volunteer by repurposing his rejected business cards to make a selfie stick long enough to stick him in the same selfie as gretchen wieners. the selfie stick has been in progress since daycare. he has also gone to the hospital more than any natucate volunteer do not trust this man with shop class equipment

#mean girls #cady heron #janis sarkisian #janis ‘imi’ike #damian hubbard #regina george #gretchen wieners #karen smith #karen shetty #aaron samuels #kevin gnapoor #kevin ganatri #these r so long for no reason #who wants goldfish pics btw

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itzmoss · 2 months

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all the mathletes are all so silly

they are also all neurodivergent

thats it thats the post

#mean girls musical #mean girls #cady heron #kevin gnapoor #kevin g #marwan jitla #rowan spivey #tyler kimble #mathletes

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sexycornenthusiast · 2 months

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Ranking mean girls characters by how good they would be at chess:

Tyler specifically. Don't ask questions ok.

(he does amateur tournaments sometimes. tyler has dabbled in nearly every extracurricular activity known to man and his friends strongly suspect he has some sort of time warping ability.)

Regina is weirdly good but has a history of abandoning any game that lasts more than three minutes because she doesn't care anymore.

Karen needs the rules re-explained to her every time and accidentally tries to make at least two illegal moves per game. She's undefeated.

(I think Karen has really good spatial awareness and visual memory. Most opponents approach her like she's kind of a joke and when they do that she's already won.)

Aaron is mediocre but grew up thinking he was good because none of his family or friends were any good at chess.

Gretchen takes ten minutes to decide on a move and then gets checkmated immediately due to some glaring oversight that she only ever notices after the fact.

Cady SUCKS. Aaron and the mathletes try to help her but it never clicks.

Janis also sucks but she messes with the pieces when she thinks her opponent isn't looking. She always gets caught.

Kevin.

Damian refuses to play because he "could never hurt a queen". (he does not know the rules and isn't interested in knowing them)

#mean girls musical #mean girls #mean girls 2024 #regina george #gretchen wieners #cady heron #janis sarkisian #janis 'imi'ike #karen smith #karen shetty #damian hubbard #kevin gnapoor #tyler kimble

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killingfrankie · 17 days

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MY THOUGHTS ON THE OBC CAST RECORDING OF MEAN GIRLS.

‘A Cautionary Tale’: Honestly the best start to a musical ever. I’m obsessed with this song so much it’s insane. The little ‘nice’ from Damian and then ‘thank you’ from Janis after the ‘you can’t buy integrity from the mall’ line is SO SATISFYING. So good.

‘It Roars’: The transition into this song is so seamless and perfect and it’s so catchy. It shows how separated Cady is from society and it helps make sense of who she is, why she acts the way she does and how enthusiastic she is to finally join a more “normal community/society”. Does that make sense?. I am personally thankful that it was cut from the movie and replaced by ‘What Ifs’ because I just don't think it would’ve translated well. And that’s okay! Some things are better left untouched.

‘Where Do You Belong?’: “your mother called you babygirl?” “singing ha ha ha” SO GOOD. Damian is so funny. In the musical and the new movie Damian has so much more personality and more of a backstory and it’s so good. SO MAD THIS WAS CUT THOUGH. Grey slayed this song. The introduction to Damian and Janis for Cady. Perfect.

‘Meet The Plastics’: Silly silly Cady so so so curious. The way they describe the plastics in the beginning💀so funny. “MY NAME IS REGINA GEEEEORRRRRRRGE” LITERAL FUCKING CHILLS I LOVE TAYLOR LOUDERMAN. Her intro is so fucking real. HATE the 115 line tho. Thank goodness they changed it. Mad they cut karen and Gretchen’s parts from the movie tho 🙁 GRETCHEN’S VERSE IS SO GOOD BRO. straight and to the point. Karen’s intro is so funny. I love Karen. They could never make me hate her. “That’s it! :D” kate rockwell oh how i love you. WHEN ALL THEIR VERSES MERGE IS SO GOOD. i'm personally a Regina girl so I sing the ‘heeeeeres where you belong here's where you belong.’ “NO REALLY SAY IT.” SO GOOD. “come sit with us tomorrow! It’ll be fetch!”

‘Stupid With Love’: LOOOOOOVE. I used to not really like this song but it’s grown on me a lot and I love how unhinged Erika gets. “Do you have an eraser?” “i would love to :3” cadyyyyyyyy heroooonnnnnn. SO GOOD. “jinx!” “ha ^_^ IM ASTOUNDED AND NONPLUSSED. I AM FILLED WITH CALCULUST.” I LOVE HER. this song is so good. I also personally really like Angourie’s version too.

‘Apex Predator’: i can play this song on piano. SO GOOD. i love this song so much. Have you guys seen rachel zeglers cover? Cady using metaphors to present Regina’s behaviour and her power is so clever and it’s just so fun to listen to. When janis and cady both sing “she’s queen of beasts” THEY SOUND SO GOOD TOGETHER BRO. “HOW CAN YOU OUTSMAAAAARRRRRRRT THE APEX PREDATOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR”

‘What’s Wrong With Me?’: Gretchen :((( I feel like i cry to this song a lot. It’s just like, gretchen, honey, you dont deserve this. “Mama called me beautiful. Dont believe her anymore, now im listening to you.” REGINA LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS SHE’S JUST A BABY😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 the final “WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME” AND SHE BELTS. SO GOOD. translated so well on screen.

‘Stupid With Love (Reprise)’: i’ve never been a big fan of aaron but i don’t have any issues with him but this is satisfying to listen to. “So i’m swearing off of dating.” “Shit.🥲” . “hey whats the date?” “october 3rd! MY NEW FAVOURITE DAY!”

‘Sexy’: KAREN I LOVE YOU. this song translates so well onto screen from stage. Kate slayed this song and so did avantika. I love how passionate karen is about halloween. This song is such a BOP too. The beat is so addicting. “I CAN BE” ateeee. She knows who she is and she SLAYED. When she lists the costumes. Chefs kiss. The whole sex cancer bit is so good. Thank you for curing sex cancer karen! “THIS IS MODERN FEMINISM TALKING. I EXPECT TO RUN THE WORLD IN SHOES I CANNOT WALK IN.” ICONIC. PERFECT. INCREDIBLE.

‘Someone Gets Hurt’: literal chills. Like actual goosebumps. “Yes i look perfect” yes you do. I can play this on guitar. SO FUCKING GOOD ISTG. so tense. I’d give in to her immediately. She’s so intoxicating i swear to god. This song captures regina SO WELL. there’s so many astonishing little vocal moments. Taylor louderman is literally one of my favourite vocalists of all time she’s so fucking good to listen to. The amount of emotion in her voice is incredible. “IT’S FINE FOR YOU IT’S FINE TO FLIRT. AND GOD YOU’RE HOT WHY DO YOU EVEN WEAR A SHIRT.” actually fucking insane i love her.

‘Revenge Party’: this song is so fun and actually batshit crazy i love it. It really shows how creative Janis and Damian are. This for me is where Cady turns for the worst. I hate the whole theme where they fuck with regina’s weight to take her down. It’s genuinely disgusting and thats one of my only problems with mean girls. Like ik they’re all mean girls but still. Gretchens whole meltdown is so fucking funny. I love gretchen so much. The final chorus is so fun.

‘Fearless’: gretchen not being able to function without having a “boss” is iconic but also someone get her a therapist. This song is so fun. Like all of them singing about not being scared of regina and then regina coming in and changing the song to the chords of SGH and then basically warning them that she will get them back. Again, CHILLS.

‘Stop’: MY FAV ATM. SO FUN. SO MAD THEY CUT IT FROM THE MOVIE. JAQUEL WOULD’VE SERVED. So catchy and addicting i love it so much. The “stop” before giving examples hits every time. “MY GOD GIRL, HE’S JUST A GUY!” SO TRUE!!! Janis calling out Damian about Phillip is so funny. Damian going insane over phillip is so funny. “For four whole weeks i trolled and dissed her. THEN I FOUND OUT SHE WAS HIS SISTER.” CRYING ITS SO FUNNY. Then all the girls saying their mistakes. It just gets gradually more sad. “Good work ladies lets take a break” A 5-6-7-8 ! “ TAP BREAK. ICONIC. Him calling her out by saying “stop. Being glued to your phone, counting followers and likes and IGNORING YOUR FRIENDS.” and then the. “She’s leaving! JUST LIKE MY DAD!” IS SO FUNNY.

‘What’s Wrong With Me? (Reprise)’: again with the “boss” :( also having mrs george in the reprise is so funny and it makes so much sense. Bless they’re both trying so hard. “You’ll be worshipped for years.. Then she’ll turn three and everything’s wrong with me” REGINA WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOUR MOTHER 😭😭

‘Whose House Is This?’: SO addicting and fun. “WHOSE HOUSE IS THIS? ITS MY HOUSE NOW.” im so thankful kevin kind of got a song. He’s so funny. “WHOSE HOUSE IS THIS?” “IT WAS ALWAYS MY HOUSE😭” SO FUNNY.

‘More Is Better’: am i the only one who thinks aaron kinda over-reacted here when he called cady a clone of regina… likeeeeee it’s not that deep bro. Also when it alludes to ‘i see stars’ is so cute. She’s JUST a girl. And she’s not wrong. Regina wouldn’t let that girl talk to him in a normal conversation. What else was she supposed to do? Aaron does have some points tho about how she’s changing herself to it in. but he shouldn’t be scrutinising her for it.. Like bro just reassure her that you like how she normally is… cutesy song tho

‘Someone Gets Hurt (Reprise)’: this entire sequence is genuinely insane and so fucking good and i am obsessed with barrett so much like she’s so talented. And Auli'i ate it up in the movie too.

‘World Burn’: GOOSEBUMPS. The start of this scene is so sad in the movie… TAYLOR LOUDERMAN ATE THIS SONG UP. not a fan of the use of the d slur tho. V happy they changed it for the movie. The intensity of this song makes me feel like im entering my villain era. “But you didnt finish my oooooofoffffff. MY NAME IS REGINA GEORGE.” CHILLS BRO CHILLS. “AND YOU CAN QUOTE THIS. WOAHOHOHOOOOOHHHOHHHH.” “MEAN. MEAN. MEEEEEEEEEEAN.” I LOVE HER BRO YOU DONT UNDERSTAND. “SOO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAN. I WANNA WATCH THE WORLD BURN.” I C O N I C.

‘I’d Rather Be Me’: i can play this song on piano too. It’s so good. I love it so much. Probably my fav when i first watched the musical. My fav thing is the chanting of “janis janis janis janis” and it is so satisfying. Im sad they cut it from the movie. Janis’ redemption arc is so fucking good. Love a queen who will do anything to be authentically themself. “everyBODY has opinions but tht doesnt make them true.” i prefer the ‘every asshole’ from the movie but the everyBODY still hits.

‘Do This Thing’: “YO YO YO MATHLETES STATE CHAMPIONSHIPS, WHAT! FIRST FEMALE EVER ON THE TEAM, WHAT! A BOXED LUNCH WILL BE PROVIDED, WHAT!” SO FUCKING FUNNY BROOOOO. “I’m a lean, mean, math machine” okay cady. Whatever floats ur boat queen. That line kinda hits. The part where they’re solving equations hits so hard. Kevin is so funny. “YOU LIKE THAT MARYMOUNT?!?!” cady ate it up towards the end. This song is so good.

‘I See Stars’: this song is so cvnty i love it. It makes me lightheaded when i karaoke it though so god bless erika henningsen for doing it 8 times a week. This song is so cutesy i love it. The perfect ending. Cady’s redemption was so well written bro. And i love this song. Not my favourite but it’s still on my playlists.

#mean girls #mean girls 2024 #gretchen wieners #damian hubbard #mean girls broadway #cady heron #regina george #janis sarkisian #karen smith #aaron samuels #kevin gnapoor #erika henningsen #taylor louderman #kate rockwell #ashley park #grey henson #barrett wilbert weed #kyle selig #cheech manohar

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orangesand-lemons-234 · 2 months

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MATHLETES HEADCANONS BECAUSE IM BORED, SICK, AND THESE CHARACTERSARE BASICALLY BLANK CANVASES >:D

KEVIN:

- Found Eminem when he was about seven and has never spoken the same way again.

- Chronically online, especially on reddit

- Probably a conspiracy theorist

- His favourite show is Family Guy and Atlanta

- On the subject of Atlanta, this guy fucking loves Childish Gambino

- Autistic and Insomniac

- Doesn't realise how loud he's being sometimes, he just shouts constantly

- Non-existent sleep schedule. He falls asleep at 4am and wakes up at 7am.

TYLER:

- Left handed

- Lives with his grandparents, his grandfather was actually the one who taught him how to easily do maths equations

- Allergic to what feels like everything, has to bring his own snacks and food everywhere he goes

- Panic disorder and ADHD

- Cartoons are this guys lifeline, especially Dead End: Paranormal Park, Hazbin Hotel, and Arcane

- Sends the strangest shit to the group chat at all hours of the night. Shit like "Don't Forget To Take A Poop Before The Poop Takes You." at like 3am.

- Wants to be a scientist when he grows up, specifically working in Biology

MARWAN:

- Strangely good friends with Karen? He didn't know how it happened. He's supposed to be her tutor (to no evail, clearly), but it just ends with them watching films and doodling

- Really bad asthma, constantly having to sit out of PE

- Has a pet lizard called Frito who he loves more then life itself

- Aside from Maths, his best subject is wood-work/shop class

- Cries over Disney Films, especially Coco

- Is literally always sick, he's missed so many days of school

- Autism and SPD

- Head driver of the North Shore Robotics club, has been since first year of secondary school

- Strangely good at drawing and is really good friends with Janis after helping her out at a few competitions

#i need to talk about them #my favourite nerds!#my favourite geeks #math dorks #anyways #im still sick but im alive #which is how i normally am #so all good again my friends #mean girls #mean girls musical #northshore mathletes #mathletes #kevin gnapoor #tyler kimble #marwan jilta #headcanons

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