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#i had this in drafts for a while
cuteshinymew · 1 year
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Update on my going MiA
Hello everyone, and especially my online friends
I disappeared from the internet a little over a month ago. I have a pretty bad burnout, which I didn’t fully realize at the time. Partially because I was too busy and overwhelmed to notice, partially because I was heavily in denial. Deep down I already knew I needed a break, but I was in denial because I thought it wasn’t that bad and I didn’t want to miss everyone. After I went offline, it hit me how bad my mental health had gotten.
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I was almost at 12 when I left, but I was too stubborn to take the break I needed. When I finally did, I realized how bad it was… I’m glad I avoided hitting that 12 and now I’m at 11 and slowly going back to 10 (no substance abuse though). If I had hit that 12, It wouldn’t have ended well with my job and I would’ve probably done more damage to my life and self esteem. I’m gonna be careful with myself now and take care of myself. I hope you guys do the same, I’m trying not to worry about you and I don’t want you guys to worry about me. I’ll be fine, even if it’s gonna take a long time.
So… TL;DR: my mental health went downhill fast, it stopped going downhill but isn’t going uphill yet either, overall I’m gonna be fine, please take care of yourself, I’m logging off again.
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haunt-ology · 1 month
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it's not just that i miss u it's--
i can't listen to your favourite band anymore. Florence sings and i hear your voice in the echo.
i see your name on discord. i see your name in the strife. i can't bring myself to close pandora's inbox. if i scroll back past the acrimonious end of us, i'll find every sweet thing you ever said. i could reach all your kindness and humour and wisdom if only i would shred my hands to ribbons on the broken shards.
i want to remember you as you were that day we went to the museum and i held your hand and we made suggestive jokes about all the paintings. that was the happiest i've ever been in my life. i want that feeling back.
and it's--
you were the first person i ever came out to. the first person who looked at me and saw a man looking back with pretty eyes and a handsome smile. how can i ever forget that? why would i ever want to?
the mouse mat you sent me is still on my desk. i can touch every gift you ever gave me but i can't touch you.
you tried so hard to be my manic pixie dream girl, and i chafed against the restraints that put me in. i loved you better before you got hollow. i loved the vibrant beating heart of you back before you decided you needed to hide that from me. earn my love by making yourself small. but when you took up all the room in my heart, i adored you. i don't know how to make you believe it.
does it scare you? being seen?
i miss you but also it's--
i still don't know what i did wrong.
i once sent you the most heartwrenching breakup song i've ever heard. it was meant for a character in a story we shared. now when i hear it i think of you. if your love could be caged i would hold the key. but you are a wild selkie returning to the stormy sea. i would be the waves you crash upon if you let me.
the characters in the story are me and you and the story is a tragedy and i would've moved halfway around the world for you and i still have the stars you sent me pinned up around my desk and you made them. with your own two hands. i can't bring myself to take them down. i'd rather let you haunt me, like the smell of sea salt on the breeze and the faraway call of the waves.
i loved you in silence for so long you'd think i'd be used to it.
i'm not.
the way you loved me was misguided, for @nosebleedclub's prompt no. 3
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kentopedia · 3 months
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nanami kento, who hates dating, and didn’t do much of it in his early twenties. but now, he’s almost thirty, watching all the people he works with settle down, have kids, and he thinks he wants that. so he might as well try.
so satoru sets him up on a few dates — friends of friends, he calls them. and at the end of every one of the dinners, kento goes home empty, exhausted, because he knows what they want is not the same.
still; he thinks maybe he’s being a little self-destructive, maybe too picky, maybe he just got so used to being alone. with satoru’s insistence, he gives all the women another call, invites them over to his apartment.
the first time was a disaster… kento had barely set the dinner on the table before his cat had hissed at her, scratched her down the arm in a thin gash. and though it did draw blood, it was hardly enough to warrant that reaction.
he didn’t even try to stop her as she picked up her bag and left, huffing like she’d been morally offend. kento, though, could only smile to himself in amusement.
because maybe kento was a poor judge of character, a man who was secretly hoping nothing would pan out — but his cat could certainly tell the good from the bad.
it became a little game to him, after that. seeing if anyone could win his pet over, and if they could, perhaps they were the one. his darling animal was a fickle thing anyway. a bit too defensive, quick to bite anything threatening after years on the streets.
naturally, no one came back twice.
he was close to giving up, accepting his solitude because he was tired of empty conversations over dinner. but then, he ventured out over the weekend to a new coffee shop, during hours he normally didn’t spend out of his home, and met you.
though you only talked for a moment, kento felt like maybe he’d known you in a past life. a part of him thought maybe it was strange, the way he kept coming back to talk to you, catching you at the end of your shift to see if you wanted to grab a coffee sometime.
by the second date, kento started to think you could turn out to be his best friend.
by the third date, kento wondered if soulmates were real.
on the fourth date, almost two months later, an appropriate time to get to know someone when you were as reserved as kento, he invited you over for dinner. it was, perhaps, the final confirmation he needed to let himself be with you.
he let you through the door, smiling softly as you told him about the book you were reading, and hung his coat on the rack. a moment later, you stopped, distracted, hands covering your mouth in a gasp.
“kento! she’s the cutest cat i’ve ever seen, you didn’t even show me pictures!” you exclaim, and, a few feet away, crouched down. “look at her pretty eyes…”
“careful,” kento said, “she’s not very—“
but the cat approached your outstretched hand, sniffed once, before letting you scratch her under her chin, purring loud enough for kento to hear across the room.
“shes such a sweetheart, you told me she was mean!” you smiled, making a cooing noise as you threaded your fingers through her fur. “kento’s a liar, isn’t he… you’re so precious.”
a few moments later, she snapped her jaw at you in a biting motion, and you only laughed, withdrawing your hand. “alright, i get it, i won’t bother you anymore.”
though she still brushed against your legs, just as she did kento’s, and seemed to communicate some sort of message to him.
“do you want any help cooking?” you ask, tucking your hair behind your ears. “i’m a disaster in the kitchen, but—“
“sure,” kento said, his chest tightening as he blinked back at you, only in his apartment for minutes and already looking as at home there. he wondered if it was possible to fall in love so quickly. “but only if you want to.”
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insertdisc5 · 4 months
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📚 A List Of Useful Websites When Making An RPG 📚
My timeloop RPG In Stars and Time is done! Which means I can clear all my ISAT gamedev related bookmarks. But I figured I would show them here, in case they can be useful to someone. These range from "useful to write a story/characters/world" to "these are SUPER rpgmaker focused and will help with the terrible math that comes with making a game".
This is what I used to make my RPG game, but it could be useful for writers, game devs of all genres, DMs, artists, what have you. YIPPEE
Writing (Names)
Behind The Name - Why don't you have this bookmarked already. Search for names and their meanings from all over the world!
Medieval Names Archive - Medieval names. Useful. For ME
City and Town Name Generator - Create "fake" names for cities, generated from datasets from any country you desire! I used those for the couple city names in ISAT. I say "fake" in quotes because some of them do end up being actual city names, especially for french generated ones. Don't forget to double check you're not 1. just taking a real city name or 2. using a word that's like, Very Bad, especially if you don't know the country you're taking inspiration from! Don't want to end up with Poopaville, USA
Writing (Words)
Onym - A website full of websites that are full of words. And by that I mean dictionaries, thesauruses, translators, glossaries, ways to mix up words, and way more. HIGHLY recommend checking this website out!!!
Moby Thesaurus - My thesaurus of choice!
Rhyme Zone - Find words that rhyme with others. Perfect for poets, lyricists, punmasters.
In Different Languages - Search for a word, have it translated in MANY different languages in one page.
ASSETS
In general, I will say: just look up what you want on itch.io. There are SO MANY assets for you to buy on itch.io. You want a font? You want a background? You want a sound effect? You want a plugin? A pixel base? An attack animation? A cool UI?!?!?! JUST GO ON ITCH.IO!!!!!!
Visual Assets (General)
Creative Market - Shop for all kinds of assets, from fonts to mockups to templates to brushes to WHATEVER YOU WANT
Velvetyne - Cool and weird fonts
Chevy Ray's Pixel Fonts - They're good fonts.
Contrast Checker - Stop making your text white when your background is lime green no one can read that shit babe!!!!!!
Visual Assets (Game Focused)
Interface In Game - Screenshots of UI (User Interfaces) from SO MANY GAMES. Shows you everything and you can just look at what every single menu in a game looks like. You can also sort them by game genre! GREAT reference!
Game UI Database - Same as above!
Sound Assets
Zapsplat, Freesound - There are many sound effect websites out there but those are the ones I saved. Royalty free!
Shapeforms - Paid packs for music and sounds and stuff.
Other
CloudConvert - Convert files into other files. MAKE THAT .AVI A .MOV
EZGifs - Make those gifs bigger. Smaller. Optimize them. Take a video and make it a gif. The Sky Is The Limit
Marketing
Press Kitty - Did not end up needing this- this will help with creating a press kit! Useful for ANY indie dev. Yes, even if you're making a tiny game, you should have a press kit. You never know!!!
presskit() - Same as above, but a different one.
Itch.io Page Image Guide and Templates - Make your project pages on itch.io look nice.
MOOMANiBE's IGF post - If you're making indie games, you might wanna try and submit your game to the Independent Game Festival at some point. Here are some tips on how, and why you should.
Game Design (General)
An insightful thread where game developers discuss hidden mechanics designed to make games feel more interesting - Title says it all. Check those comments too.
Game Design (RPGs)
Yanfly "Let's Make a Game" Comics - INCREDIBLY useful tips on how to make RPGs, going from dungeons to towns to enemy stats!!!!
Attack Patterns - A nice post on enemy attack patterns, and what attacks you should give your enemies to make them challenging (but not TOO challenging!) A very good starting point.
How To Balance An RPG - Twitter thread on how to balance player stats VS enemy stats.
Nobody Cares About It But It’s The Only Thing That Matters: Pacing And Level Design In JRPGs - a Good Post.
Game Design (Visual Novels)
Feniks Renpy Tutorials - They're good tutorials.
I played over 100 visual novels in one month and here’s my advice to devs. - General VN advice. Also highly recommend this whole blog for help on marketing your games.
I hope that was useful! If it was. Maybe. You'd like to buy me a coffee. Or maybe you could check out my comics and games. Or just my new critically acclaimed game In Stars and Time. If you want. Ok bye
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caught-a-dragonfly · 3 months
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Oh, good, you’re home! Listen. You gotta help me bury a body.
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hughmanbean · 3 months
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Loving Threats
Inspired by a song and its remake. But I am trash at syncing lyrics to storybeats.
Danny and Jason met in the ghost zone when Jason was dead, but he forgot it all coming back to life. When the two of them were together, they went through the entire song and dance (literally) of asking each other out.
I'm serious. There were like 10 different musical scenes with varying themes. It was Fenton Romance at its finest. And Jason's old school romance heart was certainly played a large part too.
It was their love language. Dramatic acts, vague threats and all.
Post revival and reconnection with the Batfam, Jason spots a familiar face. A flood of memories wash through him, and with it a bout of giddiness. Though he's currently dressed as Red Hood, Danny'll be able to tell who he is and keep quiet. Just have to greet him in a way that he'll recognize.
---
Danny is out taking the kids for a walk. Dan was grumpy since he wasn't allowed any ecto chips, for both his health and as punishment for severely beating a guy who tried to mug Danny without permission yesterday. Ellie is quite cheerful, since she's going to visit the Crocodile and Zombie sewer-dudes when Danny's not looking.
All of a sudden, Red Hood, casually wielding a gun, approaches Danny. He makes an overly familiar gesture, wrapping an arm sideways around Danny's waist. He whistles under the hood, a faint green glow from the white eyespaces.
"Well who do we have here? You look half dead, honey."
Danny looked at him. Horrible pick up line? Check? Thin veneer of confidence? Check. Zero self control around Danny? Check.
Jason. The rancid ecto signature is new, though. Honestly, not surprised he's a crime lord now.
"Well, you know how it is. The kids have been running me ragged. And you sure haven't been any help."
Danny puts on an innocent smile. Jason sidles closer. A few bystanders watch them with varied expressions.
"Well you don't need to worry about that now. How about you and I go somewhere more private?"
---
"A crime boss, huh?"
Dan is raiding the fridge. Ellie is watching a fight on TV.
"It was a... necessary step. I promise I would've visited you sooner if I had known."
"It's fine. What else happened while you were gone?"
"Well..."
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ghostoftheyear · 5 months
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I'm having this conversation with a friend about fandom and I thought it might not hurt to put a reminder out into the world:
Fandom is a two-way street. At one end, you have the creative types: writers, artists, vid makers (a dying art these days), the meta-commentary-writers. At the other end of the street, the folks who read and view and take in. Not everyone in a fandom creates and that's OK. You can just enjoy the fandom.
Ideally, the two feed off of each other. The creatives make their things; the readers/appreciators/enjoyers respond to let the creatives know that their work is being read/appreciated/admired.
But if the readers/appreciators/admirers go silent? If all they do is consume, without commenting or responding or even so much as hitting that "like" button? Well, the creatives are going to stop creating.
If you treat your creatives like nothing more than content creators, without letting them know that you love the things they make, they will disappear. They'll stop creating. Because as good as it feels to write that fic or draw that art or whatever, we don't exist in a vacuum. Fandom is at its heart a community. And if you stop feeding creatives, well. They starve. The creative works you claim to love will stop appearing.
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heavyheavycream · 2 months
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pov - your secretary is too cheap to refuse food (and too cheap to buy a new shirt)
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ester-galls · 6 months
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"Whoever saves one life, saves the entire world"
comic based on @modlisznik 's fic Whoever saves one life that have lived rent free in my head for the last months
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mr-president · 11 months
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gothic twink who can talk to bugs proclaims himself the “most sane person in the party”
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hum--hallelujah · 1 month
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man I mean just. the SMFS album lettering is made of clay. the cover art is an actual physical painting. there's a lot less fx on the album as a whole than Mania (which is NOT a knock on my bbg Mania btw, just pointing out the different approach) or even SRAR and ABAP. the songs sound basically the same live as they do on the record because the production is so minimal. they have a huge vinyl dog head onstage with them, that they touch and interact with and talk to (and, in Pete's case, get eaten by). the attic scene is made by lowering a piece of rigging to literally make the stage smaller. there's actually a LOT of sets especially comparatively to their previous tours, the rigging around the stage is done up almost as a physical frame for it. they only have one screen onstage and it's small, its purpose is to be the 8-ball and to add a little bit of texture to the wider design. the backdrops, even the new desert scene for 2ourdust, are physical backdrops — one of which was made by one of Pete's kids — not LED or projections. the album title is made of clay. it's about existing in the world, making things so you feel alive, making the world a little more fuckin weird! do you get it yet?
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flowerflowerflo · 29 days
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౨ৎ ⋆。• vogue beauty secrets 🐰 ๋࣭ ⭑
🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ hair
don't wash your hair every day! i think everybody knows this but i know a couple people who still dont wash their hair only 2-3 times a week. obviously it depends on ur hair type but only wash your hair when it needs it!
don't wash your hair with scalding hot water either. its not only bad for your body and face but its also bad for your hair as it ruins the natural oils and damages cells etc
if you have frizzy or easily knotted hair i recommend keeping a comb on hand in the shower and using it to detangle before putting in any products
i've been emulsifying my shampoo for only a couple of weeks but my hair is sooo much fluffier afterwards so i definitely recommend that!!
now i'm torn on this one but apparently shampooing twice is better for your hair than doing it once? i tried it one time and it did not end well for my hair type but i know it works for a lot of people so if you wanna give it a try then go for it ♡
i squeeze excess water out of my hair before i put in my conditioner so i can completely get it in there without
also change your pillow case often! this is for your face too, as the oils will build up and thats not good for ur hair or face. i change it once a week but 2x a week is good too if you're able 💓
don't go to bed with wet hair. stop doing that. its super bad for your hair and keeping it pretty & fluffy & cute
airdrying is my holy grail, been doing it since i was little and dont regret a thing. its a billion times better than blow drying & makes ur hair so fluffy too ♡
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🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ body
DO NOT. HAVE. THE WATER. BOILING HOT. i am guilty of this and have been for years but it has such a bad impact and you shouldnt do it! cold showers are better but i prefer warm showers so theres a middle ground (& its always cold in england, so id freeze to death.)
using body lotion after the shower has been such a game changer for me its incredible. makes you smell nice, feel nice, look nice, and its so relaxing and i feel like a princess after i do it <3
exfoliating is really important if your aim is for soft skin 💓 i have been doing it for months and as somebody with super rough skin its SO soft now
partake in some form of exercise. i hated hated hated sports and exercise when i was younger but i did do dance up until i was eleven and have been doing pilates consistently for months now, and my mindset towards it has changed drastically over the years to finally a healthy one. it can be a difficult thing to get into but make it something you enjoy. it doesn't have to be sports. ill make a post on this soon but it can be pilates, kpop dances, running, hot girl walks, anything! and most importantly, do it for mental health and physical health, not losing weight.
make sure you're eating properly. remember that 2000 - 2500 calories a day is the MINIMUM. please do not stress over things like that. your body is so important & is there to be nourished and not neglected
change your bedsheets every week if you wanna smell good, this is so important bc sweat and odour will build up if u dont and thats icky and wont make u smell good & probably isnt the best for your skin either!
i also put two similar body washes on in the shower that i get SO many compliments on & its really helpful if one of your priorities is smelling good
dont just wash body wash straight off, let it sit for a few moments so the scent can actually sink into ur skin
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🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ face
skincare every morning & every night. if ur tired or just not feeling it today then simplify it, just make sure you never leave it out because its super important! no. skipping. no work = no reward.
on this note, try not to have a too complicated skincare routine, as this can backfire and make ur skin worse than before. your skin isnt meant for 18 different products and 200 chemicals every morning!
never wash your face with hot water... this is also a given but just in case... it strips your skin of its natural oils and does more harm than good
stop touching ur face... just for those who need a little reminder
make sure ur sleeping enough. seriously disney princess movies meant it when they talked ab beauty sleep; it seriously makes a difference, so please try make this a priority, especially if you already have dark circles like myself! (like girl did you see aurora's face? my girl's skin was so clear i could see my reflection)
pay attention to what makes ur face puffy or irritated or makes you get break outs. i keep a little break out log in my skincare page in my journal (little teaser for an upcoming post 🤭) and this has helped me go over what helps or hurts my skin! i recommend this especially if ur prone to acne or breakouts 💖
cold spoons in the morning to depuff your eyes; ive only been doing this a handful of times but im making it a habit seeing as it really helps! (as someone who can get vv puffy eyes 😭)
hydration is so important, for everything in this list, but most of all (from my experience) your face! i drink A Lot of water every day. probably a bit too much. but its so worth it, my skin has been absolutely amazing ever since i started actually making hydration a priority. (and this is coming from a girl who didnt touch a drop of water when she was younger & had to go hospital for dehydration several times.)
i'd recommend scrubbing ur lips too in the morning when you brush your teeth, i saw this on pinterest aaages ago bc i had super dry lips and i do it every morning & every night RELIGIOUSLY. its so so good and i definitely recommend
i have super dry lips in the morning so lip balm in the mornings w my skincare is absolutely essential for me
i also put perfume behind my ears & on my neck so its the first thing people smell when they hug me! im a very touchy person and i love hugs and i love showing love to people so this is essential for me but its optional, just makes you smell good ♡
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lotus-pear · 7 months
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i think you guys are onto smth..
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i unironically got invested in this HELP
#WHERES THE FIC AT IF SOMEONE WRITES THIS I WILL PAY THEM A HUNDRED DOLLARS😭😭#kunikida serving the country while dazai's serving cunt😔#dazai was born to malewife but forced to manipulate and i think that's the greatest tragedy of bsd#anyway some facts i would like to share abt this au thay i came up w while drawing!!#takes place in 1939 (start of wwii) and there was a mandatory draft that required one male over eighteen from each house to serve#both of them are still twenty two and had been engaged for abt two years before getting married that year#newlyweds! unfortunately kuni had to go fight and they were seperated :(#before the war kunikida was a math teacher at the local high school and dazai obviously managed the household and didn't work#he's hopeless at cooking and meal prep even w recipie books so they either get those prepackaged meals or kuni makes dinner when he gets ba#so like when he's making lunch for kunikida he normally just packs a basic sandwich w raw fruit#kunikida always appreciates the effort even tho hes probably sick of having the same thing everyday but he won't complain abt it#when kunikida joined the army he was relieved that the mess hall had better food than dazai#he was the only one in his platoon that never complained abt the food so his fellow soldiers assumed it was bc he came from a tough bg#when in reality he was just used to being poisoned on a daily basis from his dumbass husbands cooking and was hardly fazed from army ration#they write to each other although its more dazai sending and kuni receiving bc hes off fighting and doesnt have time to write back#dazai talks abt life on the homefront and how he has to grow a victory garden (everything is DYING HE CANT EVEN RAISE TOMATOES)#and kuni writes abt his fellow soldiers and how the war is going and when he thinks he'll be home and how he misses sleeping in a bed#ANYWAY yea thought i'd share sry for infodumping in the tags again#this post is for like the four ppl that care abt this specific flavor of knkdz so hopefully this gets four notes at least#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#kunikida doppo#doppo kunikida#kunikidazai#knkdz#lotus draws#bro sry for posting at two in the morning i couldnt sleep until i got this out of my head they have infested my brain
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crocchompers · 1 month
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I had a thought were Draft would have cameras in his eyes and they're always recording unless he's sleeping
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corvosky · 27 days
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Your f/o loves your trans body.
Whether or not you've had surgeries, whether or not you're on hrt, whether or not you want either of those things, your f/o loves every inch of you. They think you're beautiful, or handsome, or cute, or sexy, or however you prefer to be described, and they adore you with all their heart
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skylessnights · 2 months
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Swerve & Hangman + incorrect quote [1/?]
in/sp
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