『 Benreybenreybbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb 』 - Glitter gel pen, crayola colored pencils & an ink pen I stole from a doctors office on construction paper, drawn during my ELA class today, circa 2023

Curtain (vi)

Carol (2015) fan fiction

Pt: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

Word Count: 1,969

Wednesday. 3pm

There were 16 students today, Therese noted, and it thrilled her. She'd attempted to find a spot to put some of the kids' artwork on display, but alas, Tucker would probably have her head for it.

As everyone got settled in, most kids familiar with each other and  the room now, Therese saw a small blonde girl lingering in the doorway. She was wearing overalls and a soft pink shirt underneath and eyeing the room nervously.

"Hi there," she said politely. "Are you here for art club?"

She nodded timidly, and Therese scanned the list quickly to find her.

"What's your name, sweetie?"

"Rindy."

"Oh, that's a nice name, I like it," Therese said as she ticked off the name; Rindy Aird. The only Rindy she'd encountered in the whole school so far.

The toddler's face scrunched. "People say it's weird."

"Well, I like weird names. My name's weird too."

Rindy's eyes lit up. "Really?"

"Sure thing. Here, let's get you a seat. Do you like drawing?"

She got everyone settled in rather quickly with the promise of fruit gummies at the end of the day. She assigned each easel a number and got everyone set up with shared cups of paint that were distributed for every two or three kids (watered down, sadly, because she couldn't afford more), and she got them started on painting self-portraits.

Every student was also covered in an oversized dollar-store t-shirt to protect clothes from paint and Therese herself had a worn down paint shirt that hung down to the middle of her thighs.

The small girl with crazy blonde curls was struggling, trying desperately not to get paint on the shirt. Therese wandered around the easels and when she reached Rindy, the girl was scrunching her face in a frown.

"What's the matter, Rindy? How's your painting going?"

"Don't like it," she murmured. There were only a few stripes of purple and blue on the paper and she held the paintbrush by the furthest end, her small hand not strong enough to control the brushstrokes.

"Here, try holding the brush like this; it gives a better grip that way," Therese demonstrated, angling the brush and gripping closer to the top.

"But I'll get paint on my hands!"

"That's okay, you're allowed to get paint on your hands. We can alway wash it off."

"But paint on my clothes," Rindy said, not taking back the brush from Therese as she offered it. Therese noted that her paint shirt didn't have a single splatter on it at all.

"But you haven't got any on your clothes?"

"I don't wanna paint!" Rindy said abruptly, startling Therese. The first grader was close to tears and Therese quickly set the paint aside and moved her to a desk.

"Alright, no worries, Rindy. We can draw with crayons instead, would you like that?"

"Yes," she said, voice small. Therese offered a pink paper; saying how it matched Rindy's shirt and she eagerly began drawing. Therese followed her lead, sitting next to her and drawing with small coloured crayons on a blue piece of paper. She was huddled in a kid-sized chair next to Rindy, making her posture awkward but she didn't move.

When the clock came close to 5, Therese got the kids to start washing up; giving them a two minute warning so that they'd all have time for gummies, and the class ran off to collect paint cups, brushes and paper.

Rindy helped put the crayons back in order with Therese, and suddenly said,

"My daddy doesn't like it when I get things messy," as she tried to colour code the crayons, until Therese insisted it didn't matter.

"Is that why you didn't want to paint?"

She nodded. "If I get clothes dirty, I did a bad thing."

Therese nodded while knowing full well how hard it was for kids to not get clothes dirty; with play and games it was bound to happen. Did Rindy even play?

"Well, we can always draw with crayons. We've got plenty, and you can use whichever ones you want," Therese said, snapping the lid shut. Rindy's face lit up again and she showed Therese her drawing.

"Is this your family?"

"Yah, but just my mom, cause it's just me and Mommy right now," Rindy said, a pudgy finger pointing at a taller doodle of a blonde woman next to a tiny stick-figure girl of Rindy herself.

"Oh, it's really nice, Rindy, are you gonna show your mom? I'm sure she'll love it."

Rindy grinned and giggled, hugging Therese's arm next to her, "thank you Miss B!"

She had the kids line up, and soon enough parents came by to pick them up, cooing and complimenting their various art projects they took home. Mrs. Morgan stopped by and made smalltalk with a few of the moms and the group began to thin out, leaving only a few kids and their parents.

Therese went back into the room just to examine all possessions had been picked up and she only needed to put things back to normal when Rindy came into the room, practically in hysterics with her backpack swinging behind her.

"Miss B! Miss B! My drawing, I forgot it!"

"No worries, Rindy. Look, it's right there." She picked up the drawing left on Rindy's desk and crouched down to hand it to the toddler.

"Oh, thank you Miss B!" The girl threw her small arms around Therese's neck, nearly throwing her off-balance.

"It's a beautiful picture, Rindy. Make sure you don't lose it!"

Pointed clicks of heeled footsteps caught Therese's attention and she looked up to see Director Ross, out of all people, standing in the doorway of the room, staring at the teacher clutching the toddler in her arms. Therese's breath caught as grey eyes met her own.

Paling, Therese let go and stood up quickly, her hands wringing. Was she related to Rindy? Surely not. But she said her mother had come to pick her up.. did Therese really miss that important factor?

"Mommy look!" Rindy squealed, confirming Therese's suspicions. "It's you and me!"

She waved the art above her head, rustling the paper excitedly. Director Ross took and examined it, smiling.

"It's wonderful, Nerinda. Did you say thank you to your teacher for finding it?"

"I did!"

"Alright. Aunt Abby is just outside, why don't you go show her?"

Rindy flew out of the room  with the paper clutched in tiny fists, greeted just out of sight in the hallway by another familiar voice- Miss Gerhard exclaiming "oh hi there kiddo!"

The silence was deafening. Therese felt inadequate, the same way she had slumped in Gen's impeccable shadows during closing night. Here she stood, paint splattered on her hands, still wearing the painting shirt over her top and trousers.

Director Ross on the other hand was wearing a dark brown pencil skirt, and a fitted red blouse that hugged every curve. Her heels made her much taller than Therese remembered- she always wore flats or low heels at rehearsal.

"Hello," she squeaked, feeling bared and exposed. Ross' eyes were unreadable as they stood across from each other.

"So, it was you- this... new art teacher."

"Uhm, yeah, that's me," Therese mumbled, shifting on her feet. Ross came closer, her perfume taking over Therese's senses.

"I saw your name in the directory, but thought it couldn't possibly be the same girl as Abby's dear photographer from months ago."

She remembers me. Dear God. "Yeah, that's me," Therese said again, stupidly. "I-I mean, yes. I studied art as well as photography, but being a photographer isn't the most... fulfilling job. In terms of money."

"Ah, I see. A struggling artist, then?"

"You could say that."

"Well, I must thank you. Rindy seemed overjoyed just now, she couldn't stop talking about you in the mere minutes when Abby and I arrived."

"Really? Oh, goodness."

"Well, up until she realized her picture was missing."

"Of course, she was very enthusiastic about making it. " Therese replied numbly. "I had no idea you were her mother." The last bit was blurted out and Therese nearly kicked herself for sounding so invasive. Carol only smiled lightly in understanding.

"Ross is my maiden name. Aird is my husband's, and so it's Rindy's as well. I should be down as Carol Aird in the directory, just for the sake of continuity at this school," she ran a hand through her locks, and Therese blinked. Carol.

"Your husband?"

"Ah, well, ex-husband I should say. We got divorced just last year."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Carol said, her eyes sweeping across the classroom and settling back on Therese's form, clad in the painting shirt that was far too oversized for her. "Your uniform, I take it?"

Therese blushed and hurriedly unbuttoned it, "Well, sort of," she stammered. "So I don't get paint everywhere."

"I see," Carol responded coolly, eyes roving up and down Therese's form, now clad in a nice, professional outfit without a single splatter of paint. "Seems to have worked."

Therese felt like she was about to faint at the implication that Carol just checked her out, but she kept her cool.

"I'm, uh, looking forward to see Rindy again in this club. She's got a lot of charisma for drawing; that could probably become a talent if she keeps trying."

Carol looked away with a quick shade of guilt passing over her expression.  "Ah, well, that. I hadn't intended to keep Rindy in this -your- club at first. I needed her to stay somewhere until Abby and I finished up a last meeting today."

"Oh, right, of course, silly me," Therese shook her head and smiled at Carol, a little defeated. "She's always welcome, of course."

With that, the brunette turned and headed to the desk to pack up the last of her supples.

"It's not that I wouldn't want her here," Carol blurted out. Therese turned to look at her, the only thing giving away Carol's own nerves being the higher tone in her voice. "It's a bit complicated. I'd rather have her home with me- I mean, I didn't mean-,"

"Of course," Therese said again. "It's no problem, Carol, really. It's only a small art club, it's not NYU."

Carol nodded, irritated at herself that she had been on her way to getting through to the brunette and she messed it up herself.

"But-," Therese piped up. "If you'd like for her to come back, but don't want to miss any time with her, I'm sure you could come help out in the program. If you don't mind getting a bit messy. With paint, that is," she added hastily.

"Really?"

"Sure. Clubs have parent volunteers all the time. You could help me set up," Therese was rambling at this point. "Rindy could paint, and I'd have a better control of the kids that come in here with someone else to help. That is, if you'd like to. There's no issue if you chose not to- only if you  didn't want to miss out on things with Rindy, but if Rindy really liked it here-"

A cool hand touched Therese's upper arm, halting her rant. "I'd love to, Therese, really. It sounds wonderful. I haven't been in a classroom setting for years."

"Right, okay," Therese squeaked. "I can talk to registration about it, if you'd like."

"Well, then. That's that," Carol smiled. She gave Therese a teasing wink and left the classroom, breezing out with newly regained confidence.

Still got it, she thought, as she picked up a chattery Rindy and slung an arm around Abby's middle, heading out to the parking lot. Back in the classroom, Therese continued cleaning up, setting the easels back in place and putting desks in order with a huge grin on her face, humming happily.

A new game: Rate the highschool teachers you remember. Names are not required. I am tired and full of spite, let’s go.

-

1st year English teacher: Tried way too hard to be funny in retrospect. Was my mentor/homeroom teacher for the year. Instead of adressing the bullying, he told me to “fit in more” and read Cosmo Girl, because forcing myself into being something I’m not will do wonders for my mental health. /s Did explain the past and present tense very well. 1/10.

1st/2nd year Music teacher: Had a retired rocker vibe. Mostly made us sing songs and do little unprompted tests about music tempo. Didn’t teach us anything really, but did expect us to read music notes from day one. 5/10.

2nd year German teacher: Was actually born in Germany and moved here not too long ago. Very kind, but stern in a good way. Had a funny accent. Took me serious when I told him I was assaulted. Could always chat with him even though I didn’t take German anymore. 10/10.

3rd year Art teacher: Was a very sweet lady, made me want to be creative. Opinion of her kinda dropped down to the ground when she told me not to pick Art for my 4th year because I “wouldn’t be able to keep up”, but then asked why I didn’t take Art when she saw me drawing during my 5th and final year. 6/10.

PE teacher: Gave me a tennis ball to help me practice my shit hand-eye coördination. ALSO SIR, PLEASE JUST ACCEPT THAT I AM FAT AND GIVE ME A GRADE HIGHER THAN “JUST PASSING” BECAUSE I CANNOT DO RUNNING EXERCISE THAT WELL ;7; Did teach us proper warm-ups and stuff. 7/10.

3rd/4th/5th year Chemistry teacher: SIR YOU WERE SO COOL AND I STILL UNDERSTAND CERTAIN SCIENCE STUFFS WAY BETTER THANKS TO YOU. Had cool hair, actual good humor. Got married to one of the language teachers I think(?). Helped me with my summer science project. 10/10.

Biology teacher #1: Looked like Mr. Clean decided to become a teacher. We bonded due to the fact that we were both kids of Dutch-Australian immigrants. Great help on my final thesis, though did give me a lower grade. 9/10.

4th/5th year English teacher: MISS I STILL LOVE YOU. SUCH A KIND WOMAN. ALSO AN EDDIE IZZARD FAN- 11/10.

Biology teacher #2: Young scientist aesthetic. Was very excited about stick bugs and his nature photography. 8/10.

2nd-4th year Dutch teacher: Kinda grumpy older woman. Had a judgmental great-aunt vibe. Nobody really liked her, I don’t blame them, but they could’ve acted more kindly towards her. 6/10.

1st year Ethics teacher: PROFESSOR TRELAWNEY, THAT YOU? Was a sour woman though, expected young judgmental kids to treat her normally while she looked like a witch from the seventies. Kinda scared me and made me cry in class. 3/10.

2nd/3rd year Ethics teacher: Kinda reminded me of Miss Honey from Matilda. Made me interested in the subject again. Wonder how she’s doing. 8/10.

1st year IT teacher: Goofy dude. Showed us lots of videos of his two kids. 7/10.

3rd/4th/5th year Maths/Computer Science teacher: Explained well, just had a very monotone voice. Could crack jokes with us. Complimented the game I made for class, and said I should do more with my writing talents. 8/10.

1st/2nd year Woodworking teacher: A BUTCH LESBIAN. Took no shit from anyone. Kinda bummed I couldn’t keep following her class from 3rd year onwards. 7/10.

3rd year History teacher: Kinda boring, did mean well. Told the class I had autism even though I told him I’d rather tell it carefully. Not his best action. 6/10.

💗 Personality ship - @imsugakookiebiased 💗

Hello!!! It's good to see you here again! Thank you very much for your words! You sound like an amazing person! Omg, I really wrote a lot in this one xD I Hope you like the ship!!! Thank you again!!

*Personality ships are CLOSED

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In BTS, I ship you with... Jungkook

1) What he loves about you: he loves How creative you are/ How much he learns from you everyday/ How you have the perfect height/ How caring you are/ How cute tou are when you're all shy/ How admirable you are/ How similar you two are/ How loyal and trustful you are/ How you help him grow as a person/ How adorably happy you get when he gives you chocolate.

2) What you love about him: you love How he is always checking If you're Fine/ How he shows you his mature side/ How you feel safe with him/ How cute and adorable he is/ How he always surprises you with his ability to be good at everything/ How hard working he is/ How proud he gets when you compliment him/ How he trusts you so much he shows you his fragile side

3) How you met: you started to take some drawing classes during Summer vacation. You already had drawing as a hobby, but you thought it would be nice to learn some new techniques. There was this really talented artist who accepted teaching you at weekends. She had just you as her pupil at the moment, so you liked how calm and private the classes were, and how you could concentrate better. You were surprised when, one day, a new face showed up at the atelier. It was Jungkook. Your teacher explained: “He was my student too, long time ago. Today we are going to start drawing people. He owned me a favor, so I asked him to come to be our model. It's better than having me as a model, I can assure!”, she ended, laughing. Jungkook timidly smiled and sat down on a chair in front of you. You were a bit nervous actually, to stare at someone's face for so long. Jungkook was even more nervous, and asked to the teacher if he could draw you too, so he wouldn’t feel so exposed. She agreed and there you were, drawing each other. You were embarassed at first, but as the time went by, you started to concentrate more in your canvas. You ended up with two beautiful pieces of art. Jungkook genuinely liked that experience. And you were really happy to find someone so talented. The feeling of “I want to be friends with this person” started to really grow on both of you. The teacher interrupted your thoughts : “Ok Jungkook! Thank you very much for today! I know you're busy, so I won’t bother you anymore!”. Jungkook, without giving a second thought, quickly said: “oh wait! Ah.... Hmm... Teacher, actually my weekends are kinda free. Can I come again and take some classes here?”

4) How he confessed: Jungkook and you became great friends. You two related a lot, in several aspects. Jungkook was sharing with you a new hobby of his: photography. You always saw him with his camera around his neck when you hang out together, but that day he wanted to show you some photos he had taken. You were with his camera on your hands, passing through the pictures, while Jungkook was talking to you: “Photos can be really interesting. Sometimes you can even tell what the photographer was thinking at the moment he took a photo. You can feel It.” As he ended this phrase, you saw a picture of you in his camera roll. You got really surprised, but decided to tease him a little bit: “So...what you were thinking when you took this Photo?”, and showed him your picture. Jungkook was shocked and snatched the camera from your hands, hiding It from you. You got startled and confused by his attitude. Jungkook's mind was a mess : “oh my God, what do I do now? I think this is my only chance. It's now or never”. He, then, blushing like crazy, with a really low voice, said: “hmmm... I was thinking about how beautiful you are...and How much I like you...”

5) First gift he gave you: a cute drawing he did of you two

6) Favorite couple activity: watching movies together while hugging

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In Blackpink, I ship you with... Rosé

1) What she loves about you: She loves How cute you are, everytime, specially when you show your little habits, like poking out your tongue when you're concentrated/ How kind you are/ How stylish you are/ How she can relate to you so well/ How you are always there for her/ How reliable you are/ How free you make her feel when she's with you/ How you bring her peace

2) What you love about her: you love How kind she is/ How open minded she is/ How she can easily make you laugh/ How she is your vitamin/ How cute she is when she is eating something/ How she is always up to hear you/ How she calls you every night when your apart/ How she is always thinking of you and buying you little gifts/ How she loves to sing to you/ How she is your best friend

3) How you met: Your college was planning a big event to raise money for charity. It would be a musical, and your class were chosen to take care of all the production. Everyone was excited, specially because Rose accepted to take the main role. You were working really hard on everything. But, when you had some free time, you liked to grab the little notebook you always carried in your backpack, and take notes of ideias you had during the day. You were writing your own piece that, one day, you knew would be big.Time passed, everything was almost ready, and you would do a reharsal that day. For the first time in your life, you saw Rose in front of you, and she was even more stunning in person. The rehearsal went perfectly. You just needed to wait for the big day. You were happy and got some spare time. You sat down in a chair behind the curtains, and started writing in your notebook. Rose was happy too, but she was a little bit tired. She wanted a calm place to rest for a while, and she saw you from afar. She had already noticed you and how cute you were. She felt a strange feeling of familiarity, actually. She decided to approach you. She was already behind you, but you didn’t seem to realize it. She saw you writing a lot, and asked you playfully: “what are you writing there?”. You jumped so high she jumped with you. You looked at each other and couldn’t help but start laughing. “I’m writing my own story”, you answered, still recovering from the shocking and the good laugh. “OOHH! That seems really interesting. Please, call me when you finish it! I want to be the first person to read it!”, Rose said, smiling brightly at you.

4) How she confessed: You and Rose were at the airport. Rose needed to head back to her country, and this time she would be gone for some time. You were waiting for the time to the departure, and, at some point, Rose went to the bathroom. You waited for a while, Rose was taking some time to get back, so you decided to go check. You were almost entering the bathroom, when you heard that beautiful voice you knew so well and stopped: “Lisa, I'm going to confess today. I need to let her know my feelings for her. Wish me Lucky!”. You ran to where you were before. Rose joined you later, and didn’t noticed your worried face. “So she likes someone? Who? Is that me? Oh no no, I don’t think so...”, You thought by yourself. It was already farewell time. Rose hugged you, looked at you for a while, opened her mouth, but closed it right away. You were still in expectation, but she just said goodbye and went to the departure gate. Just one phrase was in your mind: “Yeah, It wasn't me.”. You were still really sad, when you looked at Rose again. She had stopped midway, and was pointing to her cellphone, and then pointing at you. You got your cellphone from your pocket, and there was a new message from her. “I’m Sorry, I was really shy and couldn’t say it looking at your eyes. Actually, I like you. I like you a lot. Will you wait for me?”

5) First gift she gave you: couple rings, with your initials on it

6) Favorite couple activity: Just being in the same Room, you working on your writing, while she plays the guitar

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Who are these 9 boys?

Kim Woojin: The 3rd year, chicken enthusiast with an angelic voice and an adorable smile.We met when we got paired up for a school trip. I was so nervous about being next to a 3rd year (that I didn’t know) that I barely looked at him for at least the first 30 minutes of the trip. His age plus his broad shoulders and tall stature, only served to intimidate me more. Oh, how wrong I was to think he’d be any bit intimidating.

In truth, his body type only added to his personality in a way that made him resemble a giant, cuddly, teddy bear.

He was gentle and polite as he tried to get me to come out of my tightly sealed shell, with lame jokes and the cutest laugh.

We even shared my earphones, which was how I found out about his utterly divine voice. After complimenting him, he blushed a pretty pink, and asked about my own hobbies and talents. After much prying, he was able to figure out that I also loved singing, but had little to no confidence at all in my own voice (especially after hearing his).

So by the end of the trip, he promised to help me show my voice to the world. And he’s unknowingly succeeded, considering that when we’re alone, he’s my whole world.

Bang Chan: The 3rd year, Student Council President and an aspiring artist, who was too afraid to take a step in the direction of his dreams, so he is now stuck in a path that he doesn’t want to follow.

He is also my neighbor, who gives me a ride to and from school everyday, I’ve learned a lot about him during these rides (and I can only guess, that so has he), like the fact he has a puppy (from the dog hair in his backseat) and that he writes music (really good music). He’s seen all of me: he’s heard me sing more than once (sorry Woojin) and I’ve even broken down in his car (and he held me through it).

I’ve already followed his advice many times, so I hope he follows mine, just once, and goes after his dreams.

Lee Minho: My first crush and the one who made me fall in love with dancing (and him too, in the process). No wonder he’s the captain of the school’s dance club. He’s just mesmerizing to watch.

Despite his very flirty nature, he’s not a player, just very friendly (maybe too friendly). And in spite of this, he still likes to fiercely declare that cats are better than people (especially his 3 cats: Dori, Soon-ie and Doong-ie). The reason why his contact name on my phone is “Crazy Cat Minho”.

Considering that when we first met (at 12 years old) we only spoke briefly, I didn’t expect him to remember me (or for him to have such a… colorful personality, considering his cold demeanor upon first meeting me), let alone want to get as close to me as he has become recently. He even invited me to his house a few times (his little brother is adorable, but he always seems to be staring oddly at me. Is there something on my face?)

I hope my longtime-brewing feelings for ‘The school’s dancing gem’ don’t change how close we’ve gotten, because I’ve really come to value him as a friend, more than just a crush.

Seo Changbin: The 2nd year “bad boy”, who’s really just a softie. Despite him being known as such for being part of the boxing club (and doing pretty good on it) and owning a motorcycle, he also works part-time at the cafe (there, I discovered that he has the cutest smile).

Even the way we met goes against the way he’s been stereotyped. He showed me (on my first, nerve-filled, day) the way to my class (which I later found out was nowhere near his own class).

I refuse to admit that my increased number of trips to the small, cozy cafe is for me to catch a glimpse of that beautiful smile, the fondness in his eyes as he talks to his little sister when she visits him at work, but it is most definitely not because of how much I’ve come to enjoy the giggle-filled conversations we have during his breaks and slower days. I instead like to blame it on my borderline addiction on coffee and hot chocolate.

I hope that, as time goes by, we can talk more. I’d love to see that wonderful smile directed at me more often. I just wish that he never invites me to one of his fights, because I don’t think I’d be able to handle seeing the wounds beneath all those band-aids he always wears.

Hwang Hyunjin: The school’s certified pretty boy (and the most popular one). He sits next to me in most classes, so I got to know him for not just his looks, but his intelligence as well, and during dance club, I got to know his humorous side and the passion he holds for dance. I also found that he is a lot shier than most would expect him to be.

There are just a few problems with my growing interest for him: 1- his crazy fangirls (who drive me crazy for only appreciating his visuals), 2- my childhood friend, Jisung, hates him (and it seems to be mutual) which makes for some interesting classes, considering I sit between them and 3- my, infinitely more talented, best friend, Maia, has a crush on him (at least she did last time we talked about it, which we don’t do often, for obvious reasons, so maybe it’s passed?)

Despite all of this, I can’t help but feel attracted to the boy with the purest giggle and an eye-smile brighter than the sun itself.

Han Jisung: My childhood friend, we’ve basically been joined at the hip since we met. Despite this, even he doesn’t know some of my deepest secrets. I didn’t tell him about most boys in this ‘list’, but every time I spoke about any of them, he acted like an overprotective brother, talking about how they didn’t deserve me and things like that. I don't even want to imagine what he would have said or done if I told him about my interest in Hyunjin, considering they're basically mortal enemies.

He’s the one Maia keeps pushing me to reveal my feelings to (because apparently, he'd be the most likely to return them. Something I don't agree with). Although she'd also like our boyfriends to be able to at least look at each other without rolling their eyes.

And I can see why she does this, I mean, he's handsome, adorable, thoughtful, reliable and knows me like very few people do. But, as cliché as it sounds, I don't want to ruin our friendship because it really means a lot to me.I sometimes wonder if simply by being his friend, I'm only hurting myself more.

Both his sisters treat me like family and I see them as the sisters I never had, during broadcast club (which we have together) I not only get to listen to his soft voice for long periods of time, I also get to experience how truly thoughtful and attentive he is everyone around him as he solves all the problems sent in by students with a gentleness I sometimes wished was directed at me more often.

Lee Felix: The 2nd year, australian transfer student, with the cutest freckles. I never thought I had a thing for accents, but Felix proved that, in fact, I do, and don't get me started on his voice, deep enough to make basically anyone swoon, it has nothing to do with his cute face (and even cuter personality). Before meeting Felix, I had no doubts that Hyunjin was the most handsome boy in school, but now I'm questioning that fact. There’s just something about him, everything fits so perfectly.

I still remember how lost he looked on his first day. With barely any decent English speakers other than myself and a few others, I inevitably became his korean tutor and quite close to him. With his talent for dancing I doubt he'll have problems getting a job, but I hope I can help him become fluent in time for the exams.

Kim Seungmin: My mother’s best friend's son (confusing, I know). The 1st year from the photography club, who asked me to go with him when he went abroad to continue his studies in college (at the time I said I’d think about it but I know it wouldn't be possible).

We met at his mom's birthday party, where we kept each other company throughout the (screeching-filled) event, as the other kids were much younger than the both of us.

In that one afternoon (that dragged on to night), I found out a lot about him, like the fact that his dream is to become a world-known photographer, or the fact that he is incredibly shy (I had to start the conversation even after about 5 minutes of sitting in awkward silence) and because of this, he doesn't smile much, only giving me small, polite and tight smiles in the beginning of our conversation. I was only able to get a real smile out of him when I glanced at one of the pictures on the wall, complimenting him on it. He immediately got this light in his eyes, even if he (at first) tried to act bashful. After I praised his vision, his smile turned wide, broad and genuine as he went on and on about his passion.

On that night, I also found out something about myself, the fact that I'd do anything to keep that beautiful smile on his face, even if it took him away from me.

Yang Jeongin: My new, 1st year, neighbor and Seungmin’s best friend.We actually met once Seungmin told me how desperately in need of help he was in English. So, despite my already busy schedule, I offered to help him. And, after discovering that he had recently moved into the house across from mine, we walked home together (after cancelling my plans with Chan).

The boy was friendly from the start, lively, energetic, and all around an actual ball of sunshine.

With so much love to give and so little confidence in things like his wonderful voice, I suspect he hasn't received a lot of love back. I wish I could be the one to give it to him. I guess I should take Woojin’s advice and get him to come out of his shell too.But with how often he seems to blush around me, I doubt he has enough experience with girls to know what a crush even feels like and I'd hate to confuse him with my own feelings.

Exhibition Reviews

Linda McCartney Retrospective Exhibition

Kelvingrove Art Gallery & Museum

Visit - 3rd September 2019

Project: Exhibition Review. #Exhibition

I attended the Linda McCartney Retrospective exhibition in Kelvingrove earlier this month. The exhibition, which is curated by Paul, Mary and Stella McCartney, features iconic names and moments in music from the 1960s along with more intimate later work by Linda.

The retrospective also includes one of Linda McCartney’s diaries from the 1960s displayed in public for the first time along with experimental cyanotype (or sun print) photographs where she used natural sunlight to develop the pictures.

Cameras and accessories used by Linda and are displayed in the exhibition along with Polaroids and contact sheets showing her creativity and use of different techniques.

I was pleasantly surprised at the variety and quality of her work as I didn’t realise she was the creator of so many icon images of fledgling music stars such as Jim Morrison, Jimmy Hendrix, Janice Joplin and of course, The Beatles in the late 1960’s and early ‘70’s.

Many of her photographs broke all the “rules” I had been taught previously about composition, framing, focus and yet, the shots worked, sometimes in quite an abstract way and others in a playful way. “Themes including The Sixties, Family Life, Self Portraits, Observations – Animals and Nature, and Scotland, featuring pictures taken at the family home in Argyll and of people from local communities in Campbeltown, shape this significant retrospective. Linda McCartney became a professional photographer in the mid-1960s, known for her portraits of Jimi Hendrix, The Rolling Stones and The Beatles, among many others. In 1968 she was the first female photographer whose work was featured as the cover of Rolling Stone magazine, with a portrait of Eric Clapton. In 1974, when Linda and Paul appeared on Rolling Stone’s cover, she became the first person to have been photographed and taken a photo for the cover of the magazine: a neat reflection of Linda’s life both in Front of and behind the lens. Following her marriage to Paul McCartney in 1969, Linda’s photographs became more intimate and emotional, exploring the natural world, family life and social commentary. Linda McCartney continued to work prolifically as a photographer until her death from breast cancer in 1998. Her work has been exhibited by institutions including the International Center of Photography in New York, the Victoria & Albert Museum and the National Portrait Gallery in London.”

Source: http://www.whatsonglasgow.co.uk/event/069450-linda-mccartney-retrospective/

Lucky Spot in Daisy Field (Sussex, 1985)

“Linda's ability to capture natural light is evident in Lucky Spot in Daisy Field (Sussex, 1985). Here the horse is presented in a mystical manner; there are no clear tracks of its journey to them middle of the daisies; it is standing of its own apparent accord, as if she stumbled upon this horse who appears to be deep in thought.”

Source: https://www.glasgowlife.org.uk/museums/blog/linda-mccartney-restrospective

Theory

The lighting:

The lighting is natural daylight with bright sunlight coming from above suggested by the shadows on the horse and light on the daisies, probably around the middle of the day when the sun is at it’s highest position.

The capture:

I think the image was captured on 35mm film as the colours are “warm” and slightly saturated.

Aesthetic

The content & approach:

The composition of the shot is interesting as at first, I thought there was too much foreground of the meadow showing the daisies and would probably have cropped in tighter on the horse as the main subject. However, on reflection, the amount of space given to the daisies makes the viewer wonder how the horse got there as there isn’t an immediately noticeable track it has made flattening the daisies on it’s journey, which adds to the “mystique” of the image, almost giving the horse magical powers. The image shows an extended depth of field.

The equipment: For her early black and white portraits as unofficial in-house photographer in the late ‘60′s and ‘70′s, Linda used a Leica M3. She also used Pentax however, her camera of choice for most of her intimate family shots was her Nikon.

 James- Used on the cover of 'Sun Prints' 1988

Cyanotype or 'sun print' is a photographic printing technique which produces a cyan-blue coloured print. It’s one of the most simple and low-cost printing techniques, originally used by engineers for their “blueprints”, but nowadays more common among artists and photographers. The prints are stunning with their clear blue shade and strong contrast of colours.

Theory

The lighting:

The lighting in this shot is very high contrast, with the highlights being blown out and the shadows very dark. It is shot in natural sunlight with the subject partially in shade, possibly in the back of a car or vehicle.

The capture:

The image is shot in portrait format and follows the rule of thirds, with the boy’s eye drawing you into the image in the upper third.

The print:

The image is printed using the Cyanotype or Sun Print process.

The border created around the image during processing, gives the finished print a rough and unprecise look which compliments the graininess of the image and adds to the casual and “real” feel of the finished product.

“Cyanotype is a photographic printing process that produces a cyan-blue print. Engineers used the process well into the 20th century as a simple and low-cost process to produce copies of drawings, referred to as blueprints. The process uses two chemicals: ferric ammonium citrate and potassium ferricyanide.”

Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyanotype

Content and Enterprise

I think Linda was perhaps influenced by American documentary photographer and photojournalist Dorothea Lange, as many of her black and white portraits have a similar feel and composition to Dorothea’s work.

Linda’s late 60’s and early 70’s candid and natural but also powerful, high contrast black and white portraits have subsequently influenced many contemporary music photographers.

Linda’s early work was commissioned as she was the in-house photographer at Bill Graham's Fillmore East concert hall, however, her later work was personal and created for herself as her art.

Exhibition Review 2 – Edinburgh 25th September 2019 #exhibition

On Wednesday 25th September, we were taken through to Edinburgh to see a photographic exhibition in the National Portrait Gallery and a small exhibition of Cindy Sherman’s early work in a gallery called Stills.

ARTIST ROOMS Self Evidence | Photographs by Woodman, Arbus and Mapplethorpe

This exhibition covered the work of 3 of the 20th century’s most influential American photographers, Francesca Woodman, Diane Arbus and Robert Mapplethorpe.

Francesca Stern Woodman

“Francesca Stern Woodman (April 3, 1958 – January 19, 1981) was an American photographer best known for her black and white pictures featuring either herself or female models.

Many of her photographs show women, naked or clothed, blurred (due to movement and long exposure times), merging with their surroundings, or whose faces are obscured.

Her work continues to be the subject of much positive critical attention, years after she died by suicide at the age of 22, in 1981”

Source: Wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Francesca_Woodman

Self-portrait, c. 1977

I found Woodman’s work both intriguing and disturbing and while she has a great ability to frame her images and set dramatic scenes using interesting light, texture and shadow, her long exposures on her self portraits really have a sense of an uneasy mind in turmoil, evidenced by her suicide at the age of 22.

Most of Woodman’s shots were taken with a medium format camera, producing 2 ¼ x 2 ¼ inch square negatives. Most of her prints are 10” x 8” which “works to produce an intimate experience between the viewer and photographer”.

She was only recognised as a talented photographer after her death in 1981.

My favourite images from the exhibition.

Eel Series, Venice, Italy, 1978

Gelatine silver print

This image has great composition and shows the photographer’s pose mirroring the coil of the eels on the bowl, creating a frame, within a frame, within a frame. The use of black and white adds drama and a mysterious element to the image, while the eel puts me in mind of Cleopatra’s asp. The harsh lighting from overhead (probably natural sunlight) creates very dramatic shadows in many parts of the frame.

House #3, Providence, Rhode Island, 1976

This is another really interesting image and shows great composition and demonstrates her use of a long exposure to show a potentially distressed character with your eye drawn to the upper left third, where her face is. There are many leading lines used to also draw your eye in around the foreground debris, using the floorboards to great effect. Again, black and white are used to great effect adding drama and a timeless quality to the image, with the viewer trying to understand why the model is here and what her connection is to the ruined building.

The lighting looks as if it’s only natural day light and Woodman has done a great job balancing the light coming in the windows in her exposure.

Diane Arbus

“Diane Arbus (March 14, 1923 – July 26, 1971) was an American photographer. Arbus famously worked to normalize marginalized groups and highlight the importance of proper representation of all people. She worked with a wide range of subjects including members of the LGBTQ+ community, strippers, carnival performers, nudists, dwarves, children, mothers, couples, elderly people, and middle-class families. She photographed her subjects in familiar settings: their homes, on the street, in the workplace, in the park—celebrating imagery that seem to reflect our deepest fears and most private wish.”

Source: Wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diane_Arbus

Arbus by Allan Arbus

(a film test), c. 1949

I really liked Arbus’s work and thought the messages she conveyed in her images were brilliant. Her use of posing her models to tell a story depicting the opposite of what was the “norm” back when they were taken is very clever.

Like Woodman, Arbus also took her own life in 1972 and really became much more recognised for her talent posthumously, having only ever had minor success when she was alive.

She only ever took photographs for herself and wasn’t usually commissioned for her work.

A family on their lawn one Sunday in Westchester, N.Y. 1968

Gelatine silver print

This is a very powerful image and portrays a wealthy family on their lawn, “relaxing” It challenges the stereotype of male dominance in a family relationship as the husband appears stressed and unhappy while his glamorous wife relaxes in the sun, unbothered by either he husband or interacting in any way with her young son in the background. The images really makes a statement about wealth and the real power in relationships. This also looks like it was taken on a medium format camera using only natural sunlight. The rich dark texture of the grass further separates the couple on their loungers from their environment as they seem to almost float above the lawn due to the amount of light on them. The horizon falls pleasingly in the upper third and draws your eye in initially, then out to the young boy before finally settling you on the main subject of the couple in the foreground.

A young Brooklyn family going for a Sunday outing, NYC, 1966

Gelatine silver print

This photograph is a brilliant contrast to the previous one and really demonstrates the other side of the coin with this working-class family in the Bronx.

Robert Mapplethorpe

“Robert Mapplethorpe (November 4, 1946 – March 9, 1989) was an American photographer, known for his sensitive yet blunt treatment of controversial subject-matter in the black and white medium of photography. His work featured an array of subjects, including celebrity portraits, male and female nudes, self-portraits and still-life images of flowers. His most controversial work is that of the BDSM subculture in the late 1960s and early 1970s of New York City. The homoeroticism of this work fuelled a national debate over the public funding of controversial artwork.”

Source: Wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Mapplethorpe

Self-portrait, 1980

I think this photographer was the one who’s work I liked least as his work was very literal and didn’t leave much work for the viewer to do in terms of decoding it’s messages, however, his work is well composed and lit and his use of high contrast black and white very effective.

Stills Gallery – Cindy Sherman

“Cynthia Morris Sherman (born January 19, 1954) is an American artist whose work consists exclusively of photographic self-portraits, depicting herself in many different contexts and as various imagined characters.

Her breakthrough work is often considered to be "Complete Untitled Film Stills," a series of 70 black-and-white photographs of herself in many of the roles of women in performance media (especially arthouse films and popular B-movies). In the 1980s, Sherman used color film and large prints, and focused more on costume, lighting and facial expression.

In 1995, Sherman was the recipient of a MacArthur Fellowship. In 2013 she received an honorary doctorate degree from the Royal College of Art, London.”

Source: Wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cindy_Sherman

Still from an untitled film, 1978

Gelatine silver print

This exhibition was mainly covering her early self-portraits where she high-lighted the inequalities of the sexes by dressing up as them for the portraits and thereby “owning” them and taking back control. I prefer her later work which to me, is much more dynamic, when she moved into shooting in colour.

Sage H. D. - Bully Self-Insert

This is my Self-Insert for Bully/Canis Canem Edit! I made the art myself and would appreciate if you didn’t use it! The Template was created by Silkvale and found here! I will post updated versions to @kitty-selfshipping so uhm yeah, follow that blog to read it when it’s totally finished or edited.

If you are interested in reading the current info about my Bully Self-Insert, please read under the cut!

Biographical Information Full Name [& Pronunciation] - Sage Holland Drage ( S AI J ) ( H AW - l uh n d ) ( d r ai j ) Meaning - Herb or Prophet, Ridgeland, Dragon Set Age - 14-15 Certified Birthdate - 12 January 1992 (not my real birth year, but shh) Astrological Sign -  Capricorn Pronouns - They/them or He/Him Aliases & Preferred Nicknames – Dumbbell - Sage might not actually like the nickname, but Mandy WIles insist on calling Sage it whenever Mandy sees Sage, so Sage is  Dragon - As some people may not be able to pronounce Sage’s surname, Sage just call themselves Dragon to make it easier for everyone. Ms. Shy - Even though Sage prefers to go by he/him or they/them pronouns, people insist on calling them ms, and many people consider them shy because of how they seem terrified of new people Puppy - A nickname Sage got from Kirby Olsen, that they claim matches their general personality Ethnicities Distant Descendants : American, British,  Dominant Descendants : Norwegian, Swedish, Danish Physical Description Hair Color - Brown Eye Color - Blue Weight – Height - Typical Clothing Wear :  Maroon or pink vest, purple skirt, blue bow, purple bow, pink shoes - School   uniform  Red stained dress and blonde wig - Halloween costume, that is supposed to resemble Carrie White from the movie Carrie Faux fur coat, faux fur ushanka - Winter attire Figure/Build - Distinguishing Features/Scars/ or Birthmarks – A mole just over their lip Explain: Tattoos: Piercings: Frequently Worn Jewelry: Choker belt around their neck Personal Information Current Living Arrangements - Sage currently lives with three of their American relatives, but also they technically live at Bullworth, in the girl’s dorm Originated from - Vestfold, Norway Traveled Territories - Hobbies -   Fears – Spiders, snakes, insects, heights, scarecrows, most of the jocks Religion/Beliefs – Atheist Why?: Sage grew up in an atheist family, as simple as that. Health Behaviors Physical Ailments/ Disabilities/ Issues – Addiction(s) [Sex, Drugs, Smoking, Alcohol, Other]  Why?: Any regular medication taken? – Medication for their Iron Deficiency and for their Hives Chronological Information Profession - Student Likes - Dislikes - Goals/Ambitions – Most Instructive/Painful/Memorable Experience - Story behind experience: Weapons/Equipment - Sage mostly fights using their hands but can use a baseball if they need to Personal Attributes Personality - Strengths - Weaknesses - Good Habits - Bad Habits - Fetishes/Strange Behaviors - Stereotype - Shy kid with few friends As you know them better(and you like them) : As you know them better(and you hate them) :   Ratings on Personal Qualities (don't go overboard make reasonable stats for your character) Physical Strength : 4/10 Sage might not regularly train, but surprisingly Sage is stronger than they seem Attractive : 5/10 Sage doesn’t consider themselves the most beautiful and mostly blames it upon their parents and grandparents for how they look Honesty : 7/10 Sage hates lying in general, but still does lie if they need to. Rule Abiding : 3/10 Sage thinks certain rules are to be broken and others are to be broken. Sociability : 3/10 Sage is quite shy when it comes to meeting new people, but if they muster up enough confidence they can make new friends. Bullworth Academy Information Reason for enrolling: Sage has lacked disiplince and Sage’s parents had relatives that lived close Bullworth, so they decided on sending them to a Clique - Standing and Rank in Social Circle  - Room Number – 4 Roommate(s)-  Zoe Taylor & Beatrice Trudeau Favourite Subject(s) – English,  & Art Why?: Sage loves English because they’ve felt so motivated and  Least Favorite Subject(s) – Why?: Favourite Teacher – Mr. Galloway & Mrs. Philips Why?: Mr. Galloway - Sage takes a liking to Mr. Galloway, mostly because he encouraged and gave Sage a warm welcome to the school, during Sage’s first day at Bullworth Mrs. Philips - Sage got a few compliments Least Favorite Teacher –  Mr. Slawter Why?: Sage is quite afraid of Mr. Slawter, mostly because he yelled at Sage during their first class Knowledgeability Language(s) – Norwegian, English Schooling Level - Grade 8-9, Expertise – Chemistry - Math - English - Geography - Sage knows a few things, like where certain European countries are, but after that, nothing more Politics/Law - Economy - Cooking/Culinary - Shop - Botany/Biology - Mythology - high / Sage knows a lot about Norrøn Mythology and enjoys learning more and more about it Art - high / Sage highly enjoys Art and feels that they know a lot about the rules about realism and perspective Photography - Sage knows how to use a camera, and what settings look good or not, so they consider themselves at a 5/10 Reading Level - Overall Intelligence Level(s) - Interpersonal and Naturalistic. Relationships Statuses   (once you list characters here, delete them from the other list near the end of this information sheet, makes things less confusing) (Also, please describe the relationships of your character with other characters) Trusted Companions Closest Friend(s) –   Milliz - “I trust her with my life. Nothing more or less to say. And might I add that her and Earnest are really freakiNG ADOREABLE?” (Jeg beklager ikke for at du er satt på denne lista, Milliz) Friend(s) -   Kirby Olsen - Despite Kirby being a jock and Sage being afraid of most of the jocks, Kirby and Sage are pretty close and    

Hated Rivals Worst Enemies – Intolerable Students - Harmless Acquaintances Tolerated Students - Tolerated Townsfolk - Hot Encounters Hinted Attractions - Crush(es) - Lover(s) - Gary Smith, Jimmy Hopkins and Petey (Ey, don’t judge me please or make comments about this please, I just ship myself with all of them :( I will also make like another post or tweet where I just describe everything from lore to headcanons about this ) Ex(s) - None Extra Information Eating Habits Omnivore/Carnivore/Herbivore – Favorite Food(s): Favorite Drink(s): Disliked Food(s): Disliked Drink(s): Added Information Proclaimed Theme Song(s) - Either Dancing Queen by ABBA or Scent – Favourite Color: Favourite Season: Favourite Animal: Sage  Favourite Music Genre: Sage can’t really choose, but they are very fond of country and Pop Most Memorable Quote – Various Quotes Through Interaction :  “ Walking around – “I sure hope Mandy was joking when he called me a dumbbell...” “I don’t know jack dritt about math, how am I supposed to get a good grade?” “Gary mentioned something about rats, wondered what he was on about.” “I’m considering joining a clique... but which one?” “ “ “ “ When the fire alarm goes off – “Stuff like this always happens when you least expect it.” “Sure hope this isn’t a drill, I don’t want my slippers to get wet again without reason.” Greetings Good Terms: “Hiya!” “Hey there, best friend!” “How ya doing, sweetie?” “How are you doing, buddy?” “Hey, anyhting fun happen recently?” “Bro! What’s up?” “Heisann!” (Norwegian for ‘Hey there’) Bad Terms: “Please leave me alone” “I rather not talk.” “Ew.” “Get out of my face!” “Leave me alone!” “Continue being around me and I’ll beat you up! Or cry!” Saying goodbye – Good Terms: “Have a good day! “See you later!” “Hope you have a good night!” Bad Terms: “”See you in Hell, I uhm mean class.” “Leave already.” “I’m getting a headache, gotta go.” “Byyeee, see you never.” When Flirted With – Good Terms: “I uhm...” “Thank you....” “Well I uhm, thank you so much! I uhm haha, we should hang out or something!” “I feel flattered. I’ll uhh have to go over there until the blushing stops.” “Continue acting this sweet and you’re going to be getting ladies really quickly.” “ “You’re such a sweetheart!” “If I were of age, I would marry you right here on the spot, but I’m still too young.” Bad Terms: “I wouldn’t say I don’t like you, but I’m not that interested.” “Not to be rude, but no.” “That better not be trying to make me blush, because it didn’t work at all.” “ “

Watching a fight – “I know I shouldn’t watch this crap, but damn it feels so right, right now!” “ Attacking – “I’m sorry!” “I have no choice in this situation, so I apologize beforehand!” “I learnt this one from my friend!” While Fighting – “I really wish it didn’t have to end with one of us being hurt!” “Ouch! Thanks, I guess!”

Chasing someone – “You can run, but you can also hide!” “Come back here! please...!” Out of breath – “This always happens....” “Why do I have to have iron deficiency? When hidden from – “ Knocked out – “ Stinkbomb explodes – “I can’t see shit!” “I should be happy I can’t smell anything from before!” Opinions on students who reside at Bullworth Academy– (in alphabetical order) Bullies   Davis White: Ethan Robinson: Russell Northrop: Tom Gurney: Trent Northwick: Troy Miller: Wade Martin: Zoe Taylor: Greasers Hal Esposito: Johnny Vincent: Lefty Mancini: Lola Lombardi: Lucky De Luca: Norton Williams: Peanut Romano: Ricky Pucino: Vance Medici: Jocks Bo Jackson: Casey Harris: Damon West: Dan Wilson: Juri Karamazov: Luis Luna: Mandy Wiles: Ted Thompson: Nerds Algernon Papadopoulos: Beatrice Trudeau: Bucky Pasteur: Cornelius Johnson: Donald Anderson: Earnest Jones: Fatty Johnson: Melvin O'Connor: Thad Carlson: Non-Cliques Angie Ng: Christy Martin: Constantinos Brakus: Eunice Pound: Gloria Jackson: Gordon Wakefield: Ivan Alexander: Karen Johnson: Lance Jackson: Melody Adams: Pedro De La Hoya: Ray Hughes: Sheldon Thompson: Trevor Moore: Preppies Bif Taylor: Bryce Montrose: Chad Morris: Derby Harrington: Gord Vendome: Justin Vandervelde: Parker Ogilvie: Pinky Gauthier: Tad Spencer: Opinion on Adults who teach and patrol at Bullworth Academy – (in alphabetical order) Miss Danvers: Miss Peters: Mr. Galloway: Mr. Luntz: Mr. Matthews: Mr. Wiggins: Mrs. Carvin: Mrs. MacRae: Mrs Peabody: Ms. Phillips: Neil: Prefects – Edward Seymour II: Karl Branting: Max MacTavish: Seth Kolbe: Opinions on People in the cities of Bullworth – (in alphabetical order) Townies Clint(aka Henry): Sage doesn’t like saying it, but they’re quite afraid of him and  Duncan: Edgar Munsen: Gurney: Jerry: Leon: Omar Romero: Otto Tyler: Residents in the city of Bullworth – Bethany Jones: Denny: Dr. Bambillo: Krakauer: Mihailovich: Miss Abby: Mr. Brekindale: Mr. Buckingham: Mr. Castillo: Mr. Doolin: Mr. Huntingdon: Mr. Johnson: Mr. Martin: Mr. Ramirez: Mr. Salvatore: Mr. Smith: Mr. Sullivan: Ms. Rushinski Mrs. Lisburn: Osborne:

Sage Holland Drage - Bully Self-Insert

This is my Self-Insert for Bully/Canis Canem Edit! I made the art myself and would appreciate if you didn’t use it! The Template was created by Silkvale and it can be found here! I added an extra, maybe not as necessary category in the Hot Encounters category, just for fun!! And I added a few teachers! This is the finished version of this OC/self-insert! if you want to see previous versions, please go through this tag to see previous versions!

If you are interested in reading the current info about my Bully Self-Insert, please read under the cut!

Biographical Information Full Name [& Pronunciation] - Sage Holland Drage ( S AI J ) ( H AW - l uh n d ) ( d r ai j ) Meaning - Herb or Prophet, Ridgeland, Dragon Set Age - 14-15 Certified Birthdate - 12 January 1992 (not my real birth year, but shh) Astrological Sign -  Capricorn Pronouns - They/them or He/Him Aliases & Preferred Nicknames –   Dumbbell - Sage might not actually like the nickname, but Mandy WIles insist    on calling Sage it whenever Mandy sees Sage, so Sage is kind of used to this  nickname   Dragon - As some people may not be able to pronounce Sage’s surname,          Sage just call themselves Dragon to make it easier for everyone.   Ms. Shy - Even though Sage prefers to go by he/him or they/them pronouns,    people insist on calling them ms, and many people consider them shy because of how they seem terrified of new people. This nickname was first given by          Gord Vendome.   Puppy - A nickname Sage got from Kirby Olsen, that they claim matches their general personality and as Kirby claims, matches the fact Sage has puppy eyes ‘that could melt the coldest of hearts’.   Handsome Holland - because of an incident with the greasers, Ricky started calling Sage handsome and man does Sage blush every damn time   Dragonborn – Because of Sage secretly is a bit of a nerd, they obtained this nickname from the nerds when they found out they enjoyed roleplaying games like   Freddie Mercury - Mostly because of how much of a drama queen Sage can act like when they feel like it, some of the Preps have realized Sage fit the description of Bullworth’s Freddie Mercury and maybe it’s because of the fact that Sage, just like Mr Mercury, is Bisexual   Posh Spice – Maybe it’s because of how posh and ladylike Sage gets when they are dressed extremely nicely, or maybe it’s because of how Sage is not such an innocent girl like Victoria sang herself back in 2001 Ethnicities  Distant Descendants : American, British, Italian Dominant Descendants : Norwegian, Swedish, Danish Physical Description  Hair Color - Brown Eye Color - Blue Weight –  Height -  Typical Clothing Wear :  Maroon or pink vest, purple skirt, blue bow, purple bow, pink shoes - School   uniform  Pink silk dress and blonde wig - Halloween costume, that is supposed to   resemble Carrie White from the movie Carrie  Faux fur coat, faux fur ushanka - Winter attire  Plaid pink pyjama pants, striped yellow and black crop top - Pyjamas Figure/Build -  Distinguishing Features/Scars/ or Birthmarks – A mole just over their lip Explain:  Tattoos:  Piercings:  Frequently Worn Jewelry: Choker belt around their neck Personal Information  Current Living Arrangements - Sage currently lives with five of their American relatives, but also they technically live at Bullworth, in the girl’s dorm Originated from - Norway Travelled Territories -  Hobbies -   Fears – Spiders, snakes, insects, heights, scarecrows, most of the jocks Religion/Beliefs – Atheist Why?: Sage grew up in an atheist family, as simple as that. Health Behaviors  Physical Ailments/ Disabilities/ Issues –  Addiction(s) [Sex, Drugs, Smoking, Alcohol, Other] As stupid as it sounds, Sage is kind of addicted to eating sugar icing. Why?:  Any regular medication taken? – Medication for their Iron Deficiency and for their Hives Chronological Information  Profession - Student Likes -  Dislikes -  Goals/Ambitions –  Most Instructive/Painful/Memorable Experience -  Story behind experience:  Weapons/Equipment - Sage mostly fights using their hands but can use a baseball if they need to. Personal Attributes  Personality -  Strengths -  Weaknesses -  Good Habits -  Bad Habits -  Fetishes/Strange Behaviors -  Stereotype - Shy kid with few friends As you know them better(and you like them) :  As you know them better(and you hate them) :   Ratings on Personal Qualities  Physical Strength : 4/10 Sage might not regularly train, but surprisingly Sage is stronger than they seem Attractive : 5/10 Sage doesn’t consider themselves the most beautiful and mostly blames it upon their parents and grandparents for how they look Honesty : 7/10 Sage hates lying in general, but still does lie if they need to. Rule Abiding : 3/10  Sage thinks certain rules are to be broken and others are to be broken. Sociability : 3/10  Sage is quite shy when it comes to meeting new people, but if they muster up enough confidence they can make new friends. Bullworth Academy Information  Reason for enrolling: Sage has lacked disiplince and Sage’s parents had relatives that lived close Bullworth, so they decided on sending them to a Clique -  Standing and Rank in Social Circle  - Room Number – 4 Roommate(s)-  Zoe Taylor & Beatrice Trudeau Favourite Subject(s) – English,  & Art Why?: Sage loves English because they’ve felt so motivated and  Least Favorite Subject(s) –  Why?:  Favourite Teacher – Mr. Galloway & Mrs. Philips Why?:  Mr. Galloway - Sage takes a liking to Mr. Galloway, mostly because he encouraged and gave Sage a warm welcome to the school, during Sage’s first day at Bullworth Mrs. Philips - Sage got a few compliments Least Favorite Teacher –  Mr. Slawter Why?: Sage is quite afraid of Mr. Slawter, mostly because he yelled at Sage during their first class Knowledgeability  Language(s) – Norwegian, English Schooling Level - Grade 8-9, Expertise –  Chemistry –   Math –   English  –   Geography – low / Sage knows a few things, like where certain European countries are, but after that, nothing more Politics/Law – low / Sage doesn’t really find any reason to take interest in politics and doesn’t really understand it Economy –   Cooking/Culinary –   Shop –   Botany/Biology –   Mythology – high / Sage knows a lot about Norrøn Mythology and enjoys learning more and more about it Art – high / Sage highly enjoys Art and feels that they know a lot about the rules about realism and perspective Photography – medium / Sage knows how to use a camera, and what settings look good or not, so they consider themselves at a 5/10 Reading Level –   Overall Intelligence Level(s) -  Interpersonal and Naturalistic.  Relationships Statuses   Trusted Companions  Closest Friend(s) –    Milliz - “I trust her with my life. Nothing more or less to say. And might I add that her and Earnest are really freakiNG ADORABLE?”   Friend(s) -    Kirby Olsen - “Damn, I consider him my best friend out of most of the students at Bullworth.” Despite Kirby being a jock and Sage being afraid of most of the jocks, Kirby and Sage are pretty close   Beatrice Trudeau - “She might be a nerd, but I’m lowkey a nerd so we gotta stick together” Sage might not act like it, but they’re a big nerd and therefore easily became good friends with Beatrice.   Pinky Gauthier - “excuse me? She’s one of my best friends!” Sage and Pinky quickly became friends, mostly because of how Sage was wearing Aquaberry when they first came to Bullworth and the fact that Pinky was friends with Sage’s cousin from before.

Hated Rivals  Worst Enemies –  Intolerable Students -  Harmless Acquaintances  Tolerated Students -    Zoe Taylor -       Tolerated Townsfolk - Hot Encounters  Hinted Attractions -    Bif Taylor - Sage finds Bif a bit charming and he surprisingly acts slightly kind to them, but he’s dating their cousin so😔   Tom Gurney - Sage realized really quickly that Tom was the least violent one out of the bullies and found him a slight bit charming and funny, but they don’t really hang out that much so..   Ricky Pucino - Sage found Ricky a small bit scary in the start, but quickly developed a small crush that they seem to forget about really easily Crush(es) - Gary Smith, Jimmy Hopkins and Petey Kowalski, before Sage started dating them Lover(s) - Gary, Jimmy and Petey, after they started dating them Ex(s) - Just some Norwegian guys they used to go to school with that Sage happened to like Admirer(s) -   Ivan Alexander -    Bucky Pasteur - Sage, only really being friends with Beatrice and    Casey Harris -    Dan Wilson -  Extra Information  Eating Habits Omnivore/Carnivore/Herbivore – Omnivore  Favourite Food(s): Sage likes pizza, but they just like just food in general Favourite Drink(s):  Disliked Food(s):  Disliked Drink(s):  Added Information  Proclaimed Theme Song(s) - Either Dancing Queen by ABBA or Dum Og Deilig from Knutsen Og Ludvigsen Scent –  Favourite Color: Sage can’t really decide between pink, maroon or beige. Favourite Season: Winter Favourite Animal: Sage can’t decide, so they usually just say dogs Favourite Music Genre: Sage can’t really choose, but they are very fond of country and Pop Most Memorable Quote – “ Various Quotes Through Interaction :  “ Walking around –  “I sure hope Mandy was joking when she called me a dumbbell...” “I don’t know jack dritt about math, how am I supposed to get a good grade?” “Gary mentioned something about rats, wondered what he was on about.” “I’m considering joining a clique... but which one?” “ “ “ “ When the fire alarm goes off –  “Stuff like this always happens when you least expect it.” “Sure hope this isn’t a drill, I don’t want my slippers to get wet again without reason.” ”OH SHIT!” ”I owe whoever did that my life!” Greetings Good Terms:  “Hiya!” “Hey there, best friend!” “How ya doing, sweetie?” “How are you doing, buddy?” “Hey, anything fun happen recently?” “Bro! What’s up?” “Heisann!” (Norwegian for ‘Hey there’) Bad Terms:  “Please leave me alone” “I rather not talk.” “Ew.” “Get out of my face!” “Leave me alone!” “Continue being around me and I’ll beat you up! Or cry! Or even both!” Saying goodbye –  Good Terms:  “Have a good day! “See you later!” “Hope you have a good night!” Bad Terms:  “”See you in Hell, I uhm mean class.” “Leave already.” “I’m getting a headache, gotta go.” “Byyeee, see you never.” When Flirted With –  Good Terms:  “I uhm...” “Thank you....” “Well I uhm, thank you so much! I uhm haha, we should hang out or something!” “I feel flattered. I’ll uhh have to go over there until the blushing stops.” “Continue acting this sweet and you’re going to be getting ladies really quickly.” “You’re such a sweetheart!” “If I were of age, I would marry you right here on the spot, but I’m still too young.” Bad Terms:  “I wouldn’t say I don’t like you, but I’m not that interested.” “Not to be rude, but no.” “That better not be trying to make me blush, because it didn’t work at all.” “Get lost!” “I ain’t interested!” “Yikes, no thanks.“ Watching a fight –  “I know I shouldn’t watch this crap, but damn it feels so right, right now!” “ Attacking –  “I’m sorry!” “I have no choice in this situation, so I apologize beforehand!” “I learnt this one from my friend!” ”Either you run away or I keep hitting!” While Fighting –  “I really wish it didn’t have to end with one of us being hurt!” “Ouch! Thanks, I guess!” Chasing someone –  “You can run, but you can also hide!” “Come back here! please...!” Out of breath –  “This always happens....” “Why do I have to have iron deficiency? When hidden from –  “We aren’t playing hide and seek!” Knocked out –  “This sure does remind me of my first day...” Stinkbomb explodes –  “I can’t see shit!” “I should be happy I can’t smell anything from before!” “I envy ducks: they wouldn’t have the ability to smell this!” Opinions on students who reside at Bullworth Academy– Bullies   Davis White:  Ethan Robinson:  Russell Northrop:  Trent Northwick:  Troy Miller:  Wade Martin:  Zoe Taylor:  Greasers  Hal Esposito:  Johnny Vincent:  Lefty Mancini:  Lola Lombardi:  Lucky De Luca:  Norton Williams:  Peanut Romano:  Vance Medici:  Jocks  Bo Jackson:   Damon West:   Juri Karamazov:  Luis Luna:  Mandy Wiles:  Ted Thompson:  Nerds  Algernon Papadopoulos:  Cornelius Johnson:  Donald Anderson:  Earnest Jones: Sage has a strange friendship with the leader of the nerds: There are times where Sage find him the most annoying person and would love to beat him up and there are other times where Sage can relate a lot with him and talk about video games to him Fatty Johnson:  Melvin O'Connor:  Thad Carlson:  Non-Cliques Angie Ng:  Christy Martin:  Constantinos Brakus: Sage has a strong grudge against Constantinos because he snitched on them when they were sending notes to Kirby in class. Eunice Pound:  Gloria Jackson:  Gordon Wakefield:  Karen Johnson:  Lance Jackson:  Melody Adams:  Pedro De La Hoya: “Doesn’t he like, pee his bed and get bullied a lot? I guess he’s okay, just too weak and manipulative for his own good.“ Ray Hughes:  Sheldon Thompson: “Oh look at me, I am Sheldon, all the teachers love me! I hate that kid. Annoying and desperate.” Sage has a literal grudge against him and just like everyone, thinks he is a teacher’s pet Trevor Moore: Sage has no general opinion on  Preppies  Bryce Montrose:  Chad Morris:  Derby Harrington:  Gord Vendome:  Justin Vandervelde:  Parker Ogilvie:  Tad Spencer: "Big fat ego. He’s the least best prep, after my cousin of course!” Opinion on Adults who teach and patrol at Bullworth Academy – Edna: “She’s... interesting. Underrated, but I wouldn’t consider her the best. She’s kind of rude.” Dr. Crabblesnitch: “Well, he might be my principal, but he sure isn’t much of a pal. I mean, he isn’t friendly, you know?” Miss Danvers: “She might not have done anything towards me, but she gives Derby special treatment and she kind of was a bit rude to Jimmy like last year, so I don’t whether to be respectful towards her or not.” Miss Peters: “She forced me into doing a show I didn’t want to be a part of, so she isn’t getting no respect.” Mr. Galloway: “Can I just say: Best teacher, obviously. He might be an alcoholic, but I don’t judge.” Mr. Luntz: “Strange but nice guy. I respect him.“ Mr. Matthews: “I am sorry, but I don’t know who he is because I might uh be skipping some of my classes.” Sage skips their geography classes, so they have no knowledge of who he is. Mr. Slawter: “He yelled at me on my first day, so I guess I’m kind of scared of him, because he has a booming voice.” Mr. Watts: “Strange man. Strange, very strange man.” Mr. Wiggins: Sage can’t find a reason to find Mr. Wiggins an interesting teacher to listen to. Mrs. Carvin: “I don’t really know her, but I know she’s the librarian so..” Mrs. MacRae: “That woman freaks me out.�� Mrs Peabody: “I don’t have anything against her, but she shouldn’t be so old fashioned.“ Ms. Phillips: “Favourite teacher! She’s great! She encourages the students to do their best and she isn’t against any kind of art!“ Neil: Sage doesn’t really know who Neil is and doesn’t bother learning, as they don’t have. Prefects –  Edward Seymour II:  Karl Branting:  Max MacTavish:  Seth Kolbe:  Opinions on People in the cities of Bullworth – Townies  Clint(aka Henry): Sage doesn’t like saying it, but they’re quite afraid of him and Leon Duncan:  Edgar Munsen:  Gurney:  Jerry:  Leon: Sage is scared of him and Clint. Omar Romero:  Otto Tyler:  Residents in the city of Bullworth –  Bethany Jones:  Denny:  Dr. Bambillo:  Krakauer:  Mihailovich:  Miss Abby:  Mr. Brekindale:  Mr. Buckingham: Sage thinks he isn’t that special compared to other people but thinks he is one of the nicest residents of Bullworth they have met. Mr. Castillo:  Mr. Doolin:  Mr. Huntingdon:  Mr. Johnson:  Mr. Martin: Sage sympathizes him and often can relate to what he is saying. Mr. Ramirez:  Mr. Salvatore:  Mr. Smith:  Mr. Sullivan:  Ms. Rushinski  Mrs. Lisburn: Osborne: 

Couple Interview Tag 

by @shysimblr

Rules: answer the questions from your OC otp’s point of view and tag as many people as you want. You can do as many couples as you want it could be an otp you intend to get together but hasn’t got together yet or whatever haha… I’m just nosy and wanna know about your oc’s so tag me if you want!. You can be as creative as you want make a story out of it whatever do it however you want just answer the questions simply its up to you!!

I was tagged by @josiesimblr and @psychoxmachia​, thanks for tagging me bbys! Because the rules said I could do a couple I intended to get together, I was REALLY tempted to do Val and Chance hehe but I had to do Layden since they’re my original babies and I feel it’s best to do them before I head back to sad flashback central where their relationship is broken SO ANYWAYS

1.  How did you two meet? Aiden: We've known each other since birth. Layla: We had like two meetings and we barely remember them. Apparently the first time we met was when Aiden was a week old and I was like 4 weeks old. Our parents are really close so when he was born my mom brought me over to his house so we could meet. Aiden: Our second first meeting was when we were 1 and my mom told me I was really shy and didn't wanna interact with anyone until I met Layla. Layla: Basically he latched onto me and here we are.

2. Who is the most jealous of you two? Aiden: Me. I think it's me. Layla: I mean, you're not that bad now but during middle school you were worried I'd replace you with a new best friend. Aiden: Can you blame me? A lot of people gave you friendship bracelets and that was a big deal back then.

3. What’re your 3 favourite physical things about your partner? Aiden: I love her eyes, which seem to change color whenever they're in the sun but maybe that's just me. And I really love her lips especially when they kiss mine and her hair is magical. She's my lilac sky. Layla: That never gets old. As for me, I fucking love his cute freckles. Like in the summer when they really show because of the sun. And his green eyes are so beautiful and those arms of his always keep me safe and- are you blushing? Aiden: No...

4. Who’s more likely to be running late?  Layla: Aiden. I was always the one who woke him up and got us to school on time. Aiden: Only because you're one of those weirdos that wakes up super early. So in reality, I'm the one on time and she's early.

5. Who is the most organised and who is the messiest? Layla: In a way, I think we're both kind of messy, but it's downplayed. And this mostly applies to our work stations like my painting and his photography studio. It's like...organized chaos. Aiden: That summarizes our life, too.

6. Who is the bigger flirt? (flirts the most?) Layla: He always likes to quote song lyrics to me and I'm not ashamed to say that it always wins me over. Aiden: After all this time... Layla: ...I'm still into you.

7. Who does the most cooking? Aiden: We both cook. We once took a cooking class together, too. Layla: Yeah, and we got kicked out. Aiden: I think it had to do with us trying to impersonate Gordon Ramsey.

8. How do you feel about kids and do you want them? If so how many?  Aiden: We already have one. Our kid's over there playing with her toy duck. As for more kids, who knows? Layla: We know. We want more.

9. Who wears the pants in the relationship? Layla: We both wear the pants. Aiden: And they're both coming off tonight. Layla: Shh, don't say that in front of Valerie!

10. What’s your partner’s least favourite housework task? Aiden: We both hate cleaning the bathrooms. Layla: Dusting gets pretty annoying, too. Especially with dark furniture because it's noticeable right away which means I have to do it more often.

11. What was the first thing you noticed about each other? Layla: He cried a lot, he pooped a lot, and he had no teeth. Aiden: I was a week old. Layla: And being four weeks old at the time, I outgrew that. Okay, but seriously, first thing I noticed when we got a little older was his cute laugh. Aiden: First thing I noticed was her pretty smile.

12. What does your partner do that pisses you off? Layla: His self-deprecating jokes whenever I compliment him. I just want you to know you're a good person, stop insulting yourself. Aiden: Sometimes, she's really stubborn and tries to do everything herself when it's actually okay to get help from me if she needs it.

13. Where’s the craziest/weirdest place you’ve ever had sex? Aiden: Reading Festival. That's all you're going to hear for this. Next question.

14. Do you know your partner’s love language, if yes what is it?  Layla: Words. He’s always got a way with words and knows exactly what to say. Aiden: Physical touch. She always likes to kiss me or hug me or show me any other kind of affection no matter where we are. Layla: I want everyone to know that you're mine and I love you.

15. Where do you see the 2 of you in 10 years? Layla: Sitting on the beach near our home in Brindleton Bay, laughing and enjoying each other while the kids play in the sand. I'm leaning on Aiden's shoulder as he takes in the scenery. Aiden: She'll probably be playing a ukulele. Layla: And the song I'll be playing will be "Can't Help Falling in Love With You"

Survey #198

“i woke up on the wrong side of my floor.”

What do you get tired of having to explain? It's not something asked frequently at all, but since I had to to new doctors and ER workers etc., I'm not a fan of re-telling the break-up story with Jason. What perk of being “grown up” lived up to your childhood expectations? Independence, though I. Don't act on it much with my dependent ass. Who is your least favorite character in the last show you watched? Shoot me, Sara and Con, but so far Zuko as a villain doesn't impress me. If you weren’t in a relationship with your significant other (or last) and you met them for the first time tonight, would you hook up with them? I wouldn't "hook up" with anyone. Is there a place that makes you sad to return to? It's just better for me to stay away from the place Jason and I took our first prom pictures. I actually returned there last fall to take pictures however; I was fine, but it still felt weird. What is the most morally questionable thing that you’ve done? Idk. Has anyone ever surprised you by changing when you didn’t believe that they could? Dad, 100%. What is the best advice a sibling has given you? Something from Ashley regarding the break-up when I was starting to recover, but I can't remember exactly what. Was there an opportunity that you feel like you missed out on in high school? Hm... thought about this quite a bit, and I actually don't think so? I mean I wish my mental health had been better, but I overall had a fair experience. What was the biggest lie you’ve told a significant other? Idk, it's just about impossible for me to tell an s/o a serious lie; or small ones, for that matter. Maybe that I wasn't mad about something when I was? Idk. Have you ever treated someone badly because someone else treated you badly? I'm sure I have at some point, just not deliberately. What is your favorite lyric from your favorite band? Don't- What is the worst thing you’ve said or done while PMSing? Boy, I've done some dumb shit. Probably self-harm (no, it's not something I do now). Did you have an irrational childhood fear? Oh, I'm sure. None are coming to me now... Well, do you consider serious separation anxiety "irrational?" Do you and your significant other have ‘a song’? What is it? Oh boy, a lot. "Pretty Woman" by Van Halen and Paramore's "The Only Exception" get me the most, though. Do you ever give things away to your friends? Don't really have anyone to do that with. Is there anyone’s friendship or relationship, in particular, that makes you jealous? Nope. Well, it'd be absolutely incredible to have a friendship (so in this case, not counting Sara) like Rhett and Link. I'm not even remotely kidding, they were the ones that made me question my former, humiliating outlook on homosexuality because my heart just yelled at me to ship them & I still do lol. Do you have anyone’s tweets sent directly to your phone? Whose? No. Have you ever caused a lot of noise in a library? No. Do you complain a lot? Eh, depends on the day and subject. Have you ever been to a music festival? Yes, but only to take pictures for a photography class. What was the last thing that completely took your breath away? The blood wolf moon. I stayed up 'til like, 2-3-something to see totality, and it was fucking incredible. I hadn't seen a full lunar eclipse since I was a kid. If your life was a movie, what would it be rated? R, probably... mostly due to excessive cursing lmao. Are you more of a talker or a listener? A listener. Have you ever called in at a radio station & dedicated a song to someone? No. Would you ever go to a protest or be involved in a protest? Sure. When playing rock, paper, scissors which do you usually pick? I think scissors. Have you ever tried to write a book? Yes. Have you ever been hit by a chunk of hail? Maybe a small one? Would you ever try any extreme sports? No. Is it true that if you don’t love yourself, you can’t love another? I've always found that idea as absolute and utter bullshit. Do you ever try making your dream up before falling asleep? I just daydream; I don't like, actively hope it'll transfer into a legitimate dream. Ever been on a golf cart? Yes. Have you ever slapped someone in the face? No. Last person you took a nap with? Sara. Are you embarrassed by anything you have in your bedroom? No. Is your last ex currently in a relationship? Not to my knowledge. Has anyone ever given you roses? Yeah. Would you rather have your parents catch you having sex or smoking weed? asjfpawe quite honestly, smoking weed. The former would probs kill me. Do you owe anybody money? No. How many times have you gotten into a argument with the last person you kissed? Now as adults and not stupid kids, just a handful. Maybe just one or two serious ones. What’s the most positive thing anyone has ever said about you? When I actually had a brain, compliments I got regarding my intelligence meant a lot. Maybe there's something else, but that's just the first that came to mind. What’s the most positive thing you would say about yourself right now? I'm very empathetic and care a lot about cheering people up. Have you ever been to church? What was it like? I grew up going to church, and at no point in my life did I enjoy it. When I was old enough to not be forced to go, I quickly stopped, even when I was still religious. What’s your favorite thing to do on a sunny day? If it's not hot, swim. How many different drugs have you tried? None that weren't prescription. List each drug, and how it made you feel. N/A Which drug do you consider to be your favorite (including alcohol)? Well, I don't even like the taste of alcohol... but I guess that has to be the answer as it's the only one I'll ever indulge in. Who have you had sex with in order from best to worst (you can use initials if you want)? Only done it with one person. What’s your favorite kind of alcoholic beverage? Margaritas. Do you feel like different alcohols have different effects on you? No. Honestly, how good do you think you are in bed? What about oral? Eh, I'm shy, but I don't think I'm bad. It was good enough to get the job done, at least. I fucking hated oral so therefore rarely did it, so idk. What’s your biggest thing you want to accomplish? Overcoming my hard-as-diamonds anxiety. Three favorite candies. Go. Reese's. Sour Punch Straws. Peach rings. What was the last stupid thing someone talked you into believing? Idk. What’s a song that would describe your life at the moment? I legit feel "In The End" by Linkin Park pretty deeply of the late. Man, somehow been a year and still R.I.P. Chester. ;_; What was the last thing that you shared? Idk. Do you ever eat leftover pizza cold? I love cold pizza. Where are you the most ticklish? FEET. When you’re wanting a midnight snack, what do you normally get? I don't have them. Which cartoon character would you want to keep as a pet? Maybe Vulpix. Small and cute and isn't like, actually on fire. Have you ever considered a career in music/acting? No. When was the last time you felt seriously embarrassed? At a VR class when I was talking and completely lost my train of thought and caused like five awkward silences. If your bedroom walls could talk, what would they most likely say? "Bitch u ever move?" Did you ever really believe in Santa Claus? Yes. Have you ever seen a movie that was better than the book it was based on? Maybe? I'm unsure, but I doubt it. Did you like the show Invader Zim? I never really watched it. What’s the greatest/most influential song you’ve ever heard? Ozzy's "Life Won't Wait." Have you ever bought yourself a present at Christmas? I mean, I've been given money to buy something myself. Is there someone that you’re mean to for no good reason? No? I have damn good reason to be unfriendly to Bentley, but not mean. What was the last thing you got out of the freezer? A rat for Venus. How many people signed you latest yearbook? Not too many, but I didn't ask a lot to. How is your mom today? Probably the same as always: Tired and stressed. Do you prefer long or short hair on the opposite sex? Generally, longer hair. But of course it varies on the person. Would you swap your first name for your middle? No, that would sound so weird. Plus I like my name. Would you rather have 10 siblings or be an only? Hm... growing up as an only child would suck, I think. Ten is a hell of a lot, but I'd prefer that over none. What is your favorite soda? Mountain Dew Voltage is my Achilles' heel. Do like country music? No. It's seldom I'll like any. Tim McGraw impresses me most of the time, though, but not to where I'll go look up a song and binge it. Are you afraid of black cats? Not at all. Do you watch the lightning during storms? No, I stay inside. If I'm in a car though, I keep an eye out. Do you like Scentsy stuff? Sure, but I don't buy anything from it. Do you like House? Never seen it. How many tracks were on the last album you listened to? Idr. Which one of your relatives is most likely to embarrass you? Probably Dad. The way he interacts with some people is kinda... weird to where people may feel like he's being rude, when he in no way intends it. You can tell some people don't get him. Are there any songs in your iTunes library that you’ve never listened to? No. Who is the most intelligent person you know? My psychiatrist probably qualifies as a genius. Who was the last female you were introduced to? My personal VR coach. Who was the last male you were introduced to? I have no idea. Who is that last person who harassed and annoyed you? I feel like it was some kid that annoyed me, but idr. Who is the last person who made you feel hurt? Probably Mom. What was the last thing you were worried about? My job future. Are you worried about anyone now? Not really. What time of day feels the most magical to you? Early morning, especially when it's dewy with a light mist and a pink sky as the sun starts to rise... whew. Love it. Who are you jealous of? My sisters and an old friend that's a professional photographer now. What is the last physical ailment you took medication for? Nausea. If you are a YouTuber, are you behind on posting videos? N/A Who is a great YouTuber you have recently discovered? Not really anyone recently. What color is your bathrobe? I don't have one. What is a great pain reliever? Depends on the pain? Are you interested in a guy who has a girlfriend? No. Do you sell any products? If so, what do you sell? No. Are you responsible with money? I believe so, having learned to be very frugal from growing up poor. My weakness is tats, though... I have to make a genuine effort to save for other things. Are you responsible in general? Not very, honestly... but it also depends on what I have responsibility over. Do you use a nightlight? No. Kaiju's and Venus' lights stay on, however, if you wanna count that. Do you have a girl that is strictly a friend that isn’t related to you that you can go to? Not really. Are you “the good guy”, or “the bad guy”, or somewhere in between? I guess the good guy? Have you ever watched the original British Skins? No, nor the American. It disgusted me. Do you like Oreos? Hell yeah. Have you ever had a sex dream about someone you barely know? I don't believe so. Were you a cute baby? I was, dude. Would you ever shoot someone right in the face? If it was in self-defense with someone trying to seriously hurt or kill me, that's right where I'd aim. Have you ever sold drugs? No. Have you ever been shot? No. Are you on good terms with your parents? Yeah. What’s your opinion on border control? It's necessary for the protection of our country. I'm totally for legal immigration, mind you. Have you had any major tragedies in your life? I'd say one event qualifies. What do you think of open casket funerals? No opinion, I think... A part of me feels like the risk of someone disrespecting the body isn't worth it, but simultaneously I firmly feel the actual family and those very close to this person have the right to see them one final time looking at peace. Have you ever had a pet rat? Quite a number. I had two pairs where three died of unknown causes, while one developed cancer and passed. Went through two that died last year; one had to be sick upon adopting her, as she passed very quickly, and her sister immediately followed suit. Adopted Mitsu, later another to try to give her a partner (rats are social and aren't supposed to live alone), but she'd already grown territorial, so the sweetheart had to be returned. Now I just have Mitsu. Could you go a year without sex? It's already been three, and longer wouldn't matter to me. Have you ever wore pajamas a whole straight week? I'm just about always at home in my pj's, and considering I leave like, never... but not the same pair that long. Have you ever waxed your legs? No. Have you ever taught a little kid to flick people off? The fuck, no. Are you more of a taker or giver? Giver. Have you ever itched yourself until your skin was raw? I have permanent scars on both shins from that; my skin becomes unbearably itchy after I shave and then scrub my legs in the shower. Nothing seems to stop it. Do you always clear your history after using the computer? No. Have you ever been chased by a cat? Playing with kittens/juveniles, probably, considering just how many we've had throughout my life. Have you ever had your food stolen by a bird? No. Have you ever dyed your hair light auburn? No. Do you take really good care of your feet? Run now w/ potential TMI: My feet are like. Nothing but thicc calluses from when I would walk like crazy. I haven't been able to get rid of them for nothing, and it's been YEARS. Like, I probably need a professional for this shit lmao. My nails are fine and I keep them clean, it's just the callus ordeal. Is the snow where you live the icey kind or powdery kind? It can be either. Do you get blizzards where you live? I think we've only had one that qualified in my entire life. Can't remember if the wind was bad... What’s the coldest you can remember it ever being? With the wind chill, it was actually around 2 degrees, I think. When was the last time you did something rebellious? Um. Idk. What are your favorite things to create? OCs. What’s an old hobby that you want to pick back up? Reading. :/ Do you ever read books to a pet? No. Which has better craft supplies: Dollar Tree or Dollar General? I have zero clue. Which dollar store do you shop at the most? I think Dollar General? What color is your trash can in your bedroom? I don't have one in here. What was the theme of your childhood bedroom? Baby animals. What color was your nursery as a baby? Idr. What was the last surgery you had? A cyst removal. What’s something you prefer to keep private? Lol yeah, ask that on a survey I'mma share with the Internet. What is something cheesy your high school’s principal has said? Idr. I don't remember much of him other than he was a goddamn ass. Are you more of a rule breaker or rule follower? Depends, but typically, a follower. Are you good at prioritizing? Idk. Which holiday is your favorite to decorate for? HALLOFUCKINWEEN If you’re not religious, were you ever? What made you lose faith? I was raised religious, but just life in general brought me to just theism, which I don't really consider a "real" religion. Is there a particular tradition that you follow from your heritage? No. What are your thoughts on where feminism is today? Yo calm your tits. How would you describe your aesthetic? Likes pastel and soft things but is also gore-crazed and obsessed with dark shit that'll probably lead me to Hell. Are you at all interested in philosophy/theory? If so, what philosopher/theorist caught your attention? If not, would you ever consider reading any? YES; however, as someone with OCD that heavily manifests itself as incredulous ruminations to the point I face breakdowns, I try to avoid philosophical debates. No one in specific has caught my attention, but I mean, I haven't exactly made an effort to learn about anyone. Have you ever played any virtual reality games? What was that like? If not, would you ever like to try? No, but I would LOVE to. Is there anything about technology that scares you? The potential it has to reaching some form of sentience the more and more we advance with it. I ain't about that singularity shit. What’s a song that you know that does a lot of wordplay or anything that you find clever? Shit dude, lots of Otep songs. She can make rhymes and such with the creepiest shit. Bring me back the Otep whose music wasn't just political ranting, please. What do you do before you go to bed? The last thing I usually do is DragonVale. Where did you last go out to eat? Hardee's. Do you have unlimited texting? Yeah. Who of the opposite sex has seen you at your worst? Jason or Girt. Girt came to the ER after my suicide attempt, my lowest of low points, while Jason saw me in absolute hysterics the night of the break-up when I said something suicidal so he came here briefly. I feel each was like... a different kind of "worst," if that makes sense. One was absolute, utter defeat, while the other was seeing a human absolutely shatter. Have you ever won anything from the radio? No. Will you keep your last name when you get married? No. What song are you listening to? Shane Dawson's "Fuck Up" is a Big Mood. Do you know anyone whose name starts with an X? Not that I know personally, I think. When was the last time you took a picture with your pet(s)? Roman like over a month ago, Venus a while before... I rarely take pictures including me because I'm ugly. Who’s your favorite Muppet? I don't know like, any. What’s your favorite monster? (can be Monsters Inc., horror films, stories, or myths, whatever) These are too many options man. I guess probably Pyramid Head. But I'm crazy for cryptids too man, I love me some Jersey Devil and Mothman shit. Have you ever seen a polar bear in person? At zoos. What’s your favorite thing to order from Taco Bell? If you heard me eating cinnabon delights in the next room, you'd have all reason to believe a porno was being filmed. What do you think of off-brand soda? I'm fine with them. Which do you like better – carpet or wood floor? I generally find wood prettier, but carpet is comfier. Getting down on and up off the wooden floor when exercising hurts, though. Buuut wood is also easier to clean... but also louder... why the fuck am I getting this deep into a question jeez idk basically. What embarrasses you the most in front of other people? Being a 23 y/o teenage fangirl lmao. Have you considered running for president? Hell no. If you had to choose one thing you were most passionate about, what would it be and why? Hm... there's a lot. I suppose ending poverty? Or environmental preservation, which I am already extremely passionate about, but I could actually take more action. Where is the most beautiful place on earth and why? I'd imagine the Grand Canyon. It's so vast and ancient and gives you an idea of just how small we truly are. Are ghosts real? Yes. Are aliens real? Probably. Do you know how to play dominoes? No. What food will you absolutely not, under any circumstances, eat? Anything from an endangered animal. Would you ever adopt a child? If I wanted kids, possibly. What is one thing you’re embarrassed to admit you want to try? *shrugs* Is there something you wish you had said sorry for but never did? I wish I'd told Jenna about the Joel thing. Have you been on your first date? If so, how did it go? Yeah, it was fine. Cute really, though unorthodox as he invited my mother along. It actually did make me less nervous tho. What woke you up this morning? My cat meowing his damn brains out. He does this loud, deep meow when he really wants something, and it woke me up. He does that some mornings, and I have no clue why. Your mood? Eh, nervous. I have a short VR class today, and I have to talk to the woman who handles my case, and I don't believe she'll be happy I haven't applied anywhere yet, even though it's been like, five days... I've been working on getting an Office certificate instead. Did you ever watch The Land Before Time when you were younger? I WAS IN LOVE. Do you check your texts right away when you receive them? Usually. What feeling do you have the most difficulty in expressing? Envy. How do you think you would handle yourself in a crisis situation? Have an absolute panic attack and die lmao. But it also depends on if anyone is in the situation with me. Like if someone I seriously loved was endangered, I have a feeling I'd rush to immediately help them. Does any particular season make you happier than others? Why/why not? Autumn. Beautiful and cool. In what circumstances do you feel most at peace? When I'm with Sara and we're both happy and laughing. :') What is the best thing about being a male/female? Female: It's more "socially acceptable" to show emotions. Male: Don't have to worry about menstruation cycles. Do you enjoy hugging people? Do you enjoy receiving hugs? Yeah. Do you think that luck has much to play in your life? No. I don't believe people have premeditated-by-nature good or bad luck. It's all random or related to your own choices. Do you think you are competitive? Do you really dislike losing? In only a few areas; no. What is a talent you wish you possessed? The ability to draw hyperrealistically. When was the last time you went to McDonald’s? It's been quite a while. Maybe around a month. Could you go a whole day without your computer? Definitely not willingly. Have you ever really liked someone to begin with, then changed your mind about them? Yeah, Juan. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone, for more than half an hour? What did you talk about? Most likely Colleen. It was a personal matter, so not saying. Has your ex fallen in love with anyone else, since the two of you broke up? I'm assuming Jason did with Ashley, maybe not. When was the last time you looked at your significant other/crush’s Facebook profile? Been a while. What was the last thing that one of your parents bought for you? Food for me. The last time you went to the hairdressers, what did you have done? A muuuch-needed trim.

Tagged by @tsumetai-gekkou

Rules: Answer these 15 questions and then tag 10 more people to answer them.

1. What is your degree/favorite subject? I study a degree in science specialising in Environmental Science. Basically a really broad degree covering all of Earths major systems, but my favourite topics involve geology, biology/ecology and conservation.

2. Where are you from? Adelaide, Australia

3. What motivates you to study? I want to secure a job that I love doing. And I want to feel like im making a difference in this world, even if its just in a small way. Also I just love learning new things!

4. What do you love about yourself? I have had a particularly rough time these last couple years, but from this I have learnt that I am really resiliant. And I have learnt to enjoy life more, and approach things with a postive attitude.

5. What time do you do your best studying? My mood changes every day honestly. But mostly during the day, as I am at uni all afternoons and I get lots done in the breaks between classes. When I get home im usually too tired to do much!

6. What is your favorite TV show? Right now I am obsessed with Dark on netflix ... sooo good.

7. Best self care tip for exam season? Make sure you do at least an hour a day preparing for the exam, and give yourself plenty of time. Dont leave anything to the last minute as you won’t retain anything! 8. Do you listen to music when you study? If I am doing things like quizzes or light reading I will. Sometimes I watch movies in the background too. For maths/heavy assignments I need either silence or rain/thunderstorms in the background haha.

9. What is your favorite book? Oh this is always a really intimidating question as I have read so many books, and I have thousands sitting there not yet touched. But anything by Haruki Murakami, Dervla Murphy, the GOT, LOTR and Tokyo Ghoul series, ahhh im forgetting lots. Basically any fantasy/sci-fi, adventure, history or japanese style literature/manga. Slowly reading The Book Thief and loving that so far.

10. Where do you do your best studying? If im not at uni, then I move between my desk and bed. That sounds bad but I live with other people so they are my only two options

11. What do you get complimented on often? Hmm, I dont know :/

12. Where would you like to live in the future? I want to be close to family, and ideally somewhere more in the country with a view of mountains or forests!

13. How long have you been active on your studyblr? I have had this blog for at least a couple years, but I changed degrees so I have been more active this year.

14. Favorite way to spend study breaks? Playing games, watching movies, honing my photography skills, reading, just chilling out.

15. What is your favorite study snack? Cheese and crackers or yoghurt and lots of coffee!

In no particular order, I tag @emaykurrz @chokopan @alittlesucculentstudies @huffles-studies @matron-mama-morton @zoo-studies @studyinggoddess @unistvdyblr @studiouscharlotte @problematicprocrastinator @itsaraptor @almostapolyglot @hinodestudies @jump-in-to-japanese @grungestudies

If your like me and wanted an opportunity to have a break for 10 minutes! 

Are you young at heart, or an old soul?

A very old soul.

What makes someone a best friend?

Complicity.

What Christmas present do you remember the most?

A huge crocodile plush.

Tell me about a movie/song/tv show/play/book that has changed your life.

Slaughterhouse n.5 - Kurt Vonnegut. I have it tattooed on me.

Name one physical feature that you like about yourself, and one you dislike.

I like my hands, skinny and long and my lips, are full and well shaped.

I don’t like my stomach because of my fucking protruding ribs.

Would you like to reconnect with any friends you’ve lost contact with?

I’d love to have a reunion with my uni classmates.

What’s more important in a relationship: physical attraction or emotional connection?

Both.

Name a movie that you knew would be terrible just from reading the title.

I don’t judge a movie by the title but I know for a fact that every Baz Luhrmann’s movie will suck.

What holiday do you most look forward to?

Christmas!

How is the relationship between you and your parents?

I don’t speak with my mother since the summer of 2018. I see my dad every two/three months.

You’ve got the TV on, but you’re not really watching. What channel is the TV on?

Top crime.

Name a song that never fails to make you happy.

Do you realize - The Flaming Lips.

You know at least one person named Michael. Tell me about him.

He was a childish fuck. Tried to hookup with me right in front of his gf.

If you could pick anywhere to live the rest of your life, where would it be?

Iceland.

Can money buy happiness?

It cannot make it worse.

Do you drink? Smoke? Do drugs? Why, or why not?

I almost don’t drink anymore because I don’t feel like it, I smoke because Ilike it, I don’t do drugs because it’s stupid.

Is there anyone close to you that you know you can’t trust? You don’t have to give names.

Sure is.

Where was your favorite place to go when you were a little kid?

My bedroom. XD

Have you ever spent a night in the hospital?

More than I’d like to remember.

Do you enjoy being with only one or two friends, or with a large group of people?

I hate large groups of people. Too tiring.

Do you like the type of music your parents listen to? Do your parents like the type of music you listen to?

No, not at all.

Have you ever been bullied? Have you ever bullied anyone else?

I’ve been bullied, a lot. Never bullied anyone tho.

If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Idk, I’m not that into food. Red meat maybe?

If your partner wanted to wait until marriage before having sex, would you stay in that relationship?

Hell no. Sexual intimacy is important in a relationship.

Do you believe in a god?

Lol no, I’m not stupid.

Of all the social networks in the world, why use Tumblr?

I’m a nostalgic person, what can I say.

What’s your favorite Tumblr tag to track?

Goth aesthetic.

Would you call yourself/your family “middle class?”

No, we were utterly broke XD

Name a TV series you didn’t enjoy until after it ended.

All of them, I watch them after all the hype is gone.

Have you ever bought a product from an infomercial?

Nope.

If you could give up your car and never have to drive again, would you?

No way.

If you go back to one point in time to give advice to yourself, when would you go and what would you say?

Run like hell.

What’s your “quirkiest” habit?

I only have quirk habits.

What is “normal?” Are you normal?

Normal is boring, I’m not normal luckily, never been.

Someone close to you is dying. You have the choice to let this person live for 10 more years, but if you do, you cause the death of 10 strangers. You don’t have to see them die. Do you take the offer?

In a skip second. Sorry guys.

What is one thing you could never forgive?

Lies.

Would you rather be in a relationship after the honeymoon period ends, or be single?

Real relationships start after the honeymoon period.

Is it possible for guys and girls to be just friends?

Of course.

Where do you and your friends go to hang out?

Each others homes, rock clubs.

Write the first paragraph of your obituary.

See you down there bitches.

What is the best TV theme song ever?

Hannibal’s.

When you were young, what would you dream you would be when you grew up?

A pathologist. I was morbid even as a child.

When you’re alone in your own home, do you walk around naked?

No, I have way too many windows.

What gets you out of bed in the morning?

My projects, my husband.

Do you want to have more friends than you have right now?

No, I’m actually ok.

What part of the past year sticks out in your mind?

The ‘one illustration a day’ I did during the lockdown.

You win a scratch-off lottery game that gives you $2000 a week (after taxes) for the rest of your life. Do you keep your job?

Yes, I love to make art. Illustrations, videos, photos and music alike.

Could you be in a long-distance relationship? If you’re in one, what makes yours work?

I’m not into LDR, I like to have my man with me and share the daily things.

What’s the best route to your heart?

My mind and my fantasy, it’s a twisted route.

Have you ever met someone through the internet, then met them in real life?

Yup, and dated them for 4 years.

What is your favorite sport?

Cycling.

What has been troubling you lately?

My body not reacting well the few times that I feed him.

What do you use more often: your intuition or logical reasoning?

Intuition first, logic after. Usually my intuitions are right.

Do you know what makes you happy?

A few, precise things. Art, love, freedom.

Tell me about the last book you read.

I read a criminology book. So fascinating!

What is the nicest compliment you’ve ever been given?

‘Nothing last in your hands’.

Who was your first crush?

A kid from my class back in kindergarten I think.

Do you believe that there is life on other planets?

Yes, I’d love to find Turians somewhere!

Predict what your life will look like a year from now.

Home renovated, my main and secret project on the run, a Rottweiler, a Sphynx and a bike!

Often, people will ask how your last relationship ended. I want to know how it began.

We just looked at each other and BAM. Thunderbolt.

Where is your favorite place to go out and eat?

The sushi place we own.

What is something you want to change about your current situation?

We are waiting for a decent sum of money to arrive.

Early bird or night owl?

Night snake :3

Are there any childhood possessions you still hold on to?

No, not a single one.

Give me an unpopular opinion you have.

Harry Potter is overrated and actually poorly written.

What was the last song that was stuck in your head?

A song from an old Baraofetida’s album a friend made me listen.

Where do you live? Be as general or specific as you want.

Somewhere between Pisa and Lucca, Tuscany.

Do you believe in giving kids medals and trophies for participation?

No, you raise a lot of unique special goddamn snowflakes that way. Yuck.

What was the longest car ride you’ve ever taken?

9 hrs straight.

Have you ever taken part in a protest?

No, not that I recall.

Would you ever use an online dating service?

Nope, lame!

What is your ethnic heritage?

I’m an Italian girl who doesn’t looks Italian at all.

Describe a person that inspires you.

An amazing woman, photographer, videomaker and musician.

Love her work.

If you earn minimum wage doing what you love, would you?

Sure.

Do you believe in luck?

Kinda, I believe in karma more.

Describe the last time you were very angry at someone.

It’s been a while, maybe it was last year when I was really mad at a colleague of mine.

Do you want to live until you’re 100?

Oh god, no.

Do people change? If so, how do you keep a relationship together when both of you start to change?

Will power and hard work.

Have you ever risked a friendship by telling someone you liked them?

I’ve never liked a friend.

Would you rather be alone doing something you enjoy, or doing something you don’t like with your best friends?

I’d rather be alone. In general XD

Do you practice what you preach?

I do my best.

What do you value more in a significant other: Attractiveness or intelligence?

Intelligence, I have no use for a pretty empty box.

Are you hard-headed?

A lot.

Have you ever laughed uncontrollably when it was socially inappropriate?

A couple of times, yeah.

When have you felt most alive?

When I almost died.

Would you prefer to live? A city? The suburbs? The countryside? The mountains?

By the lake.

Do you often skip breakfast?

I always skip breakfast.

How do you know what true love is?

You just know, it strucks you and leaves you almost dead.

Would you want to know the exact date and time you were going to die?

Yes, I don’t like surprises.

Where is “home” for you?

Nowhere, I don’t know what home feels like.

Do you want to be perfect?

I’d love to.

What have you never tried, but would really like to someday? What’s holding you back?

Doing underwater photography and money, of course.

How do you express your creativity?

I draw, I carve wood and bones, I decorate hats, do sculptures, I create and edit videos and do music.

Describe your neighborhood.

A little Tuscan town.

Name something you only liked because it was popular.

Never liked popular things.

Give me the story of your life in six words.

Then she knew she fucked up.

Day Three || Fucking Weird

Connor Murphy x Reader

Word Count: 2224

Summary: Reader runs into Connor during a vulnerable night.  [This is part of an in progress series. You can follow along here.]

Warnings: Talk/Mention of a deceased parent (mother). Mention of OCD/Compulsive Counting. Mention of drugs (pills) which could potentially hint at suicidal tenancies in the future. For now they’re just simply mentioned. If anyone ever wants something added to a warnings list, please don’t hesitate to ask. <3

Connor Murphy. It was the one name that continued to bounce around your brain as you stared up at your dark ceiling. Glow stars, plastered across the roof from your childhood, gazed back down at you. On nights when you couldn’t sleep you would count the glowing stickers above. When you were seven, there had been 65. You remembered that number because you would count them every single night. It had become almost an obsessive part of your nighttime routine. At seven, your mom had passed away. That was when your obsessive behaviors started to really become more present in your life. You liked to count things. The number of stairs, the titles covering a floor, objects on a desk, telephone poles lining the street, the amount of steps it took from your bedroom to the bathroom...anything. Knowing the number of things calmed you. It distracted you from your own thoughts whenever they got too loud. 23 stars. There were 23 green, glowing stars above your head now. Some had fallen off over the years. The passing of time would claim all of them eventually. Time was no match for cheap, factory stickers. 42 stars fallen over the course of ten years. Everything falls eventually. 

Connor hadn’t been at school today. It was only the third day. Three days. One, two, three. It couldn’t have been your fault, right? The look on his face when he saw you sitting with Evan yesterday was still burned into your memory. He seemed so...betrayed. He wasn’t your friend. You two were not friends. You had to stop overthinking everything. You needed to stop obsessing over this. Were you so desperate for a human connection that you would latch onto the first person who showed you an ounce of kindness? Let it go. Let him go. Leave the poor guy alone. His actions were not a reflection of anything you did. He was not your friend. Connor Murphy was not your friend. 

Evan, however, had the potential to be something real. After you two had shared lunch, you realized you also shared the same Photography and AP Physics courses in the afternoons. He had been nice enough to fill you in on everything you missed from skipping class on the first day. He was nice. You signed his cast. It wasn’t perfect, he was a little awkward, but you needed a friend. He needed one too. It seemed to just work. Why was it that the rejected, left behind people always seemed to find their way to each other? Like magnets being pulled together. An invisible force making sure no one is ever left alone for too long. What did that make Connor then? Was he alone? Maybe your magnets were too similar that they ended up repelling instead of attracting...

A hard bit of plastic hit your forehead causing you to flinch in surprise. A single glowing star slid down your face and settled onto your chest. The old sticky tack on the back finally giving up. Twenty-two. You exhaled a lungful of air and rolled onto your side. The red lights of your alarm clock on the bedside table read 3:07 am. You had to wake up in less than three hours for school. You shoved your face into your pillow and let out a stifled scream. Sleep was not going to happen tonight. The bedroom walls felt like they were closing in on you. You pushed away the anxiety of not being able to sleep and got out of bed. This house was too small. You needed open space. Fresh air. 

An over-sized hoodie, leggings, and a pair of old boots complimented your messy, unkempt, bedhead hair as you slipped out your front door. Your father wouldn’t notice you were gone. He never did. The chilly, wet night air filled your lungs. It had rained all night. Now the dark sky just spit out droplets of water at a more scattered pace. Your car rumbled to life with the turn of a key. The wipers jumped awake, flinging off the dotted layer of collected rain and wet leaves onto the driveway. You backed out and headed into the night. There was nothing more beautiful to you than driving alone in the dark with only the headlights to illuminate the way. You knew exactly where you were headed. No matter what roads you took, you always ended up at the same place. Everywhere lead to somewhere. And your somewhere was the lake. 

Cracked Rock Lake was a destination spot for your town in the summer. It was a moderate sized body of water, good for swimming in the summer, fishing in the fall, and ice skating in the winter. It’s name was born from the large boulder jutting out of the water a few yards out. The rock formation had a deep groove splitting it down the middle. Kids would always use the crack to climb up to the top and jump off. Your mom used to bring you here when you were young. It was the last place the two of you had gone the weekend before she passed. It was one of your last happy memories as a kid. It would seem silly to say out loud but you liked to imagine your mother still lived on in the soul of the lake. You like to talk to her there when no one else was around.

An hour passed before you arrived. You had decided to drive down every back road you could find to delay your arrival. The silence in the car felt as familiar as a warm blanket and you didn’t want to give that up right away. A few porch lamps from surrounding houses danced light over the still, gloomy waters. A thin layer of mist inched across the sand blurring the line where the water met the beach. For a few more moments, you remained inside your car, staring out into the view. You were afraid that if you left the safety of your car that you might walk straight into the murky depths and never return. Eventually you braved the unknown and left your vehicle behind. 

The rain had fully stopped now but you could still smell it lingering in the air as you walked over the pale sand. A small playground sat on the far right of the beach. It was nothing more than three swings, a metal slide, and a set of straight monkey bars but it was enough to entertain the children who visited the lake. At 4 in the morning, the playground would be all yours. You took a seat on the leftmost swing and rocked yourself back and forth. Your eyes closed as you allowed yourself to listen to each little noise. The lapping water, the creaking of rusty swing chains, your own shallow breaths...

“Hey, mom.” Your voice was nothing higher than a whisper. “I really miss you. This month really sucks. I wish you were here. I wish I could still talk to you...” 

The sound of a lighter clicking on caused you to snap your eyes wide open in fear. A flickering flame illuminated the end of a cigarette as it gave off a faint glow. Someone was sitting under the slide directly to your right. Your hands gripped tighter onto the chains of the swing. They had to have know you were there. They would have heard you talking. You weren’t alone. Shadows cast whoever was hiding into a cloak of darkness. Only the red circular glow broke through the black. It wasn’t until a hand lifted the cigarette to their lips did the light reach their face. 

“Connor?” You words fell out in disbelief. You fumbled for your phone in your pocket, turning on the flashlight and shining it directly into his face to confirm your statement. 

Sure enough, Connor Murphy sat huddled under the slide, cigarette in hand, squinting away from your light. “What the fuck, Y/N? Get that shit out of my face.”

“Oh, right, sorry.” you said as you dropped the light. A moment of silence passed before you spoke again, unsure of what to say. “...Why are you here?”

“I was here first. I could ask you the same damn question. Leave me alone.” He spit the words out at you. Your presence was obviously aggravating him. You tried not to let it phase you too much. 

You gently nibbled on your bottom lip. “I don’t want to go. It’s a public place. I have every right to be here just as much as you.”

You heard him growl in frustration as a response. A second later, something flew past your head, narrowly missing you, and rolled onto the soft ground. It sounded like a bunch of tiny pebbles stuffed into a plastic cup. In the moonlight, you could see a small, orange pill bottle sticking out of the sand. It was filled with an assortment of oval drugs. You glanced from the pills to the dark slide. “My three year old cousin likes to throw things when he has a temper tantrum too.”

His response was fairly predictable. A simple, “Fuck you.” 

You felt the corners of your mouth twitch into a smile. He wasn’t pleased you were here but he wasn’t leaving and neither were you. You walked your swing backwards until your feet could hardly touch the ground anymore then let yourself swing forwards. Wind blew through your hair the higher you pushed yourself. “Did you ever have that dream as a kid that one day you could swing all the way around the bar? Its pretty much impossible, especially with a slack chain. Still, kid’s never seem to stop trying.” He didn’t reply. You hadn’t expected him to. 

You pumped yourself up as high as the sing would allow. The moment you hit the highest spot forward, you let your butt slip off the rubber and you soared feet first through the air. You were airborne for hardly a full second before you hit the ground. Your legs gave out under you and rolled across the soft sand before settling on your back to look up at the stars. Your chest rose and fell with adrenaline. From the corner of your eye, you saw Connor poke his head out from under the slide. His cigarette held limply between his lips as he cocked an eyebrow at you, shaking his head. “You’re fucking weird,” he mumbled before going back into hiding. 

You stayed on your back, looking up at the world above. There weren’t too many stars to be found. The cloudy, rainy night had blocked most of them from view. Only the brightest of the bright were able to poke their way through. You followed them with your finger and invisibly connected the dots. You counted them as you did. One, two, three, four, five...the more you looked, the more stars began to appear to you. It was so much more beautiful than your bedroom ceiling. You eventually rolled onto your side, facing the lake with your back to Connor. He had stayed quiet and hidden from view anyway. His company didn’t pose a threat to yours though. It seemed you could both inhabit the same space without needing to interact. Your eyes floated across the water until they began to get heavy. Each time you blinked, your eyes would take longer to open back up again. At some point you decided just keep them closed.

The harsh sound of a car horn jerked you awake. Sun flooded your eyes and you groaned, turning to hide your face into your pillow. Instead of the expectancy off a soft pillow, you got a face full of sand. You sputtered and sat up, looking around. Confusion plastered your expression.

Lake. You were at the Cracked Rock Lake. The events of last night came back to you as the sleep was blown away with a soft breeze. Connor had been here too. You looked behind you, back to the slide. In the light of day it was easy to see that he was no longer under there. You turned to your other side and there he was. 

He was sitting an arms length away, his shoes planted in the sand, staring out at the water with hollow eyes ringed with dark circles. In his hand was the pill bottle he had thrown at you at some point last night. His thumb flicked the white cap open and shut. For the first time you noticed his nails were painted with chipped black polish. You focused in on his hands, tranced by the repetitive movements between the cap and his thumb. His skin was pale and his fingers were long and skinny. Piano hands. That’s what your mom would have called them. 

One, flick up, two, flick down, three, flick up, four, flick down, five, flick up, six, flick down. You waited for seven but it never came. His hand closed around the pill bottle and you realized he was staring at you. You blinked up to meet his gaze. It occurred to you that maybe the reason he hadn’t left yet was because of you. Maybe he hadn’t wanted to leave you alone on the beach in middle of the night. Maybe Connor Murphy was your friend. 

“...Do you want to get breakfast?”

A minuscule smile cracked his stony expression. 

Get to know me because I'm bored.

Name: Samantha Is my first name and my family calls me Sammie, but at school, work, and camp I go by my middle name, Nicole. My french teacher calls me Nicki. My last name is White.

Age: 16!

Height: 5'3", but both of my parents are tall so I have a feeling that my height will change.

Weight: lol bitch you thought

Ethnicity: My grandma (mom's mom) is Bohemian (second generation immigrant, bohemian is her first language), and my mom's dad has ancestors that came over on the mayflower and on that same side my great great great grandpa illegally eloped with a Native American woman. On my dad's side I am french and Dutch.

Religion: I am a Christian. I am a member of the United Methodist Church.

Hair Color: My natural hair is dark brown with natural highlights during the summer, but I've been bleaching my hair since 8th grade, and I occasionally dye it light pink/ peach.

Skin: Freckles on my face, but they're hard to see because of my acne. I've got a bunch of freckles on my arms and shoulders. Also a scar on my arm from when my neighbor's Great Dane puppy tried to hump me, self harm scars on my wrists, stomach, and hips, and a burn scar on the side of my calf from when I was a baby.

Country/ Nationality: USA! USA! USA!

State: The sun shines bright on my old Kentucky home, oh my old-

City: Louisville! Home of Muhammad Ali, The Kentucky Derby, and Jennifer Lawrence (among other great things). On a sad note, we have the highest homocide rate per capita yayy... :(

Family: I live with my happily married mom and dad, a 14 y/o brother and a just turned 11 y/o sister. Also my great grandmother's third cousin is Tom Cruise so that's pretty cool.

Pets: At the moment we have two dogs. A boy hound mix named Donner, and a girl mutt named Lily. Lily is part Dingo. My little sister has a super soft guinea pig name Reecie.

House: Suburbs with a lot of hiking trails and forests. Five bedroom, 2 full bathrooms, two half bathrooms, 3 stories, finished basement. My backyard is a hill so our main floor is our second floor but also ground floor and my second floor is actually the third floor and my basement is also a first floor. It's complicated. (I am not bragging about the size of my house it’s not even that big but my family is.)

School: duPont Manual High School. Best school in the state (magnet school, apply only) and also one half of the oldest high school rivalry in the country. ( I have so much school spirit it hurts.)

Grade: Junior, or 11th grade.

College?: Yes! I plan on getting my bachelor's degree in Magazine Media and a minor in philosophy at Drake University in Des Moines, Iowa, then going to grad school at The University of South Wales in Newport for a masters/ second degree in communications. 

Career Goals: I want to be a music journalist, but hopefully I'll be in a band and get to focus on making music full time.

Job: I am a swim instructor/ lifeguard at the YMCA. 

Extracurriculars: I used to be on the staff of On The Record, a local news magazine for the youth of Louisville. One of my articles won best feature in the state and we also won a pacemaker for our publication as a whole, but I left due to creative differences. I am in Y-Club, which is basically mock state government and mock United Nations conferences. I do loads of local volunteer work and volunteer at my church on a weekly basis. I also take a film photography class and love taking pictures, and I am working on my first EP.

Instruments: I play guitar, classical guitar, bass, piano, harmonica, and a bit of drums. I used to play violin for around 4 years. I have over 4 years of classical vocal training under my belt, and have been singing since I was around two years old. I also write my own music and my dream is to be in a band and get famous.

Hobbies: Music obviously, photography, roller skating, hiking, swimming, biking, makeup, shopping, I love driving, writing, blogging, podcasting, visual art.

Bands/artsists I like: My Spotify is iwaslostinyourmelodies go check it out. Also I talk about musicians on here all the time. Only doing this because the list would be way to long.

Visual Artists: Jenny Saville, Willem de Kooning, Auguste Rodin, Brandon Boyd, Andy Warhol, Vincent Van Goh, Salvador Dali.

Writers/ Poets (NOT counting lyricists): Dylan Thomas, Allen Ginsberg, Jack Kerouac, Anne Sexton, Sylvia Plath, Virginia Woolf, Mary Shelly, Mary Wollstonecraft, Arthur Miller, Edgar Allen Poe,William S. Burroughs, etc. 

Directors: Shane Meadows, Danny Boyle. 

Cinematographers: Danny Cohen. 

Photographers: Kevin Cummins, Kevin Carter, Robert Spencer (a good friend of mine): https://www.instagram.com/znrza/ 

Political Views: I am independant but lean left. I am not a communist!! and heavily support both free speech and religious freedom. 

Important: I love giving compliments and forming relationships with people so if I seem a bit strange it’s just because I’m being nice. I also love accents and geography, especially in the UK/ British Isles. I will talk about my home state and city to know end and am full of pride for my home. I use bitch as a term of endearment. 

Twitter: @nickiicoole

Wattpad: @snwhit02

Instagram: @nicki_coole

Soundcloud: Nicole White (Louisville Ky)

Email: [email protected]

here’s the rest of those questions because I can’t resist a challenge

1: Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?

I don’t actually use any of them... used to use Spotify until it betrayed me by capping me at 10hrs of music a month. like bitch I listen to 10hrs in a day lmao. at the time I couldn’t even afford the small monthly charge so I stopped using it and now my petty ass won’t give them a penny.

2: is your room messy or clean?

clean but cluttered. there’s nothing gross like trash or used plates, but there’s a lot of random stacks of paper, books, notes, etc. it’s alright at the moment seems there’s been a recent tidy, but usually it’s very cluttered.

3: what color are your eyes?

green! I also have heterochromia, so there’s a thin ring of brown around both irises, and a small slice of brown in one eye.

5: what is your relationship status? 

dating @karlacton​ and have been since 2015!

7: what color hair do you have?

it’s black, which is pretty cool. emo me loved it.

8: what kind of car do you drive? color?

I drive a renault and it’s silver!

9: where do you shop?

like.. for what? groceries? clothes? books? because aside from “tesco” I couldn’t tell you, it’s usually all online. if I’m splashing out on books I’ll go to Waterstone’s.

11: favorite social media account

I hate them all. release me.

12: what size bed do you have?

a queen, I think? or a double? I don’t even know if there’s a difference.

13: any siblings?

one older brother, deceased.

15: favorite snapchat filter?

I don’t have snapchat.

16: favourite makeup brand(s)

I don’t know shit about makeup.

17: how many times a week do you shower?

it sounds bad because it averages out to three or four times a week, but when you remember that my days are frequently 36-48hrs long, it averages out to about every other day.

18: favorite tv show?

I don’t own a TV or keep up with much shows, but I do binge-watch Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

19: shoe size?

uk size 7.

21: sandals or sneakers?

sneakers. fuck sandals.

22: do you go to the gym?

lmao

23: describe your dream date

good food, scary movies, urbexing, driving around to good music, more good food. an equal balance of opportunity to talk and opportunity to see if the silence is comfortable.

24: how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?

I don’t carry cash. or a wallet, for that matter.

25: what color socks are you wearing?

black.

27: do you have a job? what do you do?

I do, but I can’t go into specific details. it’s to do with computers and security.

28: how many friends do you have?

I got no fucking clue my dude. depending on the definition of friend, anywhere between 2 to 15 or so.

29: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?

you’d probably have to ask somebody else if I’m honest, I don’t have a good grasp of what’s actually bad or not lol. there’s stuff I might consider bad for a while, but then I get over it and stop seeing it as such a big deal. there’s some stuff that might count from a legal standpoint, in terms of like I don’t know, how seriously it would be taken, but I’m not sure of the statute of limitations on it so fuck if I’m mentioning it.

32: 3 favorite girl names?

saoirse, vesper, oksana

35: who is your celebrity crush?

bitch colin firth

37: do you read a lot? what’s your favorite book?

I read a hell of a lot, usually between 2-4 books at the same time. as for favourites I have way too many, so if you wan recs keep an eye on my reading list and see what I’m screaming about.

38: money or brains?

brains. if you play your cards right, brains can get money.

39: do you have a nickname? what is it?

people who know me in other places call me Rat, either because I like the animal or because of the hacker from The Core; people who know me from the SCP Foundation call me Konny or Kon, after the character.

41: top 10 favorite songs

right now: 

Space Oddity by David Bowie

Never Quite Free by The Mountain Goats

We Didn’t Start the Fire by Billy Joel

The Longest Time by Billy Joel

Brothers on a Hotel Bed by Death Cab For Cutie

Blame by Bastille

Tomorrow Will Be Kinder by The Secret Sisters

Nothing to Remember by Neko Case

All Alright by fun.

The Spine Song by Cake Bake Betty

this changes like, daily, by the way.

42: do you take any medications daily?

nope.

43: what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)

normal? bit dry in some places at the moment though, but it always is at this time of the year -- the cold air coming down from the mountains will blast freeze anyone’s skin.

44: what is your biggest fear? 

the current rise in fascism erupting into another world war or holocaust.

45: how many kids do you want?

ideally I would have wanted two or three, but life circumstances have made it so it’s best I don’t have children, unfortunately.

47: what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) 

the place in scotland is a three-bedroom flat which is quite large. the place in london is a two-bedroom flat which is slightly smaller but still big for that area of london.

48: who is your role model?

writing-wise, john le carré and stephen king. life-wise, kim philby for the scamming and productivity, and lord byron for the scandal.

49: what was the last compliment you received?

I can’t even remember. probably something to do with my writing, as I’ve been sharing that with some people recently.

51: how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?

santa is real my good bitch

52: what is your dream car? 

literally no idea.

53: opinion on smoking?

I smoke occasionally and don’t care if people choose to or not, however I support the smoking ban in public areas and I will be an asshole and cough loudly if you blow it directly in my face.

54: do you go to college? 

graduated.

55: what is your dream job?

anything fast-paced, high-risk, and that requires me to constantly keep learning and improving myself to keep up.

58: do you have freckles? 

some in the summer, across my nose and cheeks.

60: how many pictures do you have on your phone? 

a couple of hundred.

61: have you ever peed in the woods? 

absolutely. it’s a necessity when homeless/on road trips.

62: do you still watch cartoons? 

nope.

63: do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?

never been to Wendy’s so McDonalds by default. love me some McNuggets.

65: what do you wear to bed? 

sweatpants, an old t-shirt, and a hoodie. it’s the mountains, I need to wrap up.

66: have you ever won a spelling bee?

nah, we don’t have them here but I did come top of my class during spelling tests all through primary school.

67: what are your hobbies?

reading, writing, photography, urban exploring, paranormal research, soviet history, researching espionage, meteorology, a whole load of things.

70: what was the last concert you saw? 

florence and the machine probably.

71: tea or coffee?

both depending on my mood, though I go through stages of drinking one more than the other. right now I drink more coffee than tea.

72: Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?

never been to Dunkin Donuts, so Starbucks.

73: do you want to get married?

one day, hopefully.

74: what is your crush’s first and last initial?

CF, take a wild guess lmao

75: are you going to change your last name when you get married?

acton and I have discussed if we ever get married, finding a cool name we both like to change our last names to. so maybe.

76: what color looks best on you? 

green.

77: do you miss anyone right now? 

not really, to be honest. I don’t miss people often. I might have moments of oh, I wish they were still in my life, but it’s never a constant thing, thankfully. it sounds like it would be a drag.

78: do you sleep with your door open or closed?

closed right now, we need all the heat conservation we can get.

79: do you believe in ghosts?

hell yeah I do. had lots of experiences too!

81: last person you called

my boss?

82: favorite ice cream flavor? 

mint choc chip.

83: regular oreos or golden oreos? 

regular.

84: chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? 

both.

86: what is your phone background?

lmao it’s a picture of julian assange because I live to annoy him.

87: are you outgoing or shy?

I’m very outgoing. a lot of people think I’m shy but actually I just go through stages of being really anti-social.

89: do you like your neighbors? 

I have no major issues with them but they’re a weird bunch. the downstairs neighbour I’m pretty sure is a ghost, and the neighbours across the way are so strange. they do DIY in the dead of night and several of them just sit in their cars at 3am with the lights on, staring at nothing. odd.

90: do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?

when I shower, or if I have something on it. I don’t have a routine.

91: have you ever been high? 

yes.

92: have you ever been drunk? 

way too many times.

95: summer or winter? 

aesthetically? winter. in terms of not feeling suicidal all the time? summer.

96: day or night? 

night. I’m a night hoe.

99: what is your zodiac sign

aquarius, watch out. 

100: who was the last person you cried in front of? 

no one bitch... I don’t cry

VIXX Hongbin: College!AU

So it took a while for me to get back to this little AU series that I’m doing, but here’s the third one, and it’s for our Bean. Hope you like it <3

“Y/n!”

You spun around on the computer chair as you heard someone call your name. “Yes?”

The newspaper club’s president smiled, “We need certain photos for this article, but none of our photojournalists were able to take many photos. Do you think you can head to the photography club and ask if we could use their photos if they have any?”

“Sure thing.” you nod and grab your things then head out to the photography club’s room.

You happily knock on the club’s door, but there’s no response. You try once again, but as there is still no response, you cautiously open the door. “Hello?”

A male student looked up from his laptop and smiled, “Oh hi. Sorry, I was a bit busy.”

As soon as he smiled, you recognized him as Hongbin. He was one of the best friends of your classmate, Ken. Hongbin was obviously a member of the photography club, but you also knew he was a member of the basketball team. You’ve seen him play- he was actually really good. You often saw him around the campus, carrying a camera. It was always a cute and charming sight for you.

You never really got to talk to this guy though, mostly because he was always either with his friends or surrounded by dozens of girls. A lot of them had a crush on him, and you could understand why. Some of your photojournalist friends often take photos of him when he’s part of a basketball game, and they fangirl together. Surprisingly, he doesn’t have a girlfriend. He’s not a flirt either. Based on what you see, he’s easily flustered and shy.

Remembering why you were there, you spoke up, “It’s fine.” you clear your throat and continue, “I’m y/n from the newspaper club and I was just wondering if I could ask for a favor.”

Hongbin nodded, “What’s that?”

“I need pictures of an event for an article we’re writing, but the photojournalists need more photos than what they have. Would you happen to have photos that we could use? Only if it’s alright with you, of course, you’d be credited.”

Hongbin smiles even wider, revealing his dimples. “I don’t mind.” he chuckles.

“Great!” you grin.

You tell him to prepare his files, and when he’s done, the two of you head to the newspaper club’s room. You open the door, only to find the other members gone. Heaving a sigh because you’re quite worried about being alone with Hongbin, you sheepishly grin. “There’s no one here…I hope you don’t mind.”

Hongbin returns the smile. “I prefer it that way. I’m not really fond of big crowds.”

You smile at him and usher for him to take a seat. Sitting next to each other, you open your laptop and Hongbin gives you his files. You click on the folder of the said event and start browsing. You copy some photos to your laptop while giving him compliments for taking such great shots. Every time you compliment him, he’d get shy and cute, saying that it’s really nothing.

Afterwards, you turn to face him and ask, “Is it ok if I see your other photos? I just think these are amazing, so I want to see more.”

Hongbin, blushing from the compliments but obviously happy and proud of himself, nods. “Go ahead.”

You quickly browse through the other photos and folders and are left in awe of how good he is. No wonder why he’s really loved by the photography club. “Hongbin!”

“What?” he looks surprised but is grinning widely, chuckling even.

You playfully clap your hands in front of him, “You really are a talented photographer. Bravo!”

Hongbin shyly smiles and continues to chuckle, “Thank you, y/n. I’ve seen  your photos on the newspaper too. You’re not bad as well.”

“Thank you very much.” you chuckle back. Contrary to what you were expecting, that it would be hard to interact with him, it actually wasn’t. He was such a polite and friendly person, which made it easier for you to talk to.

After a while, you thank him for being kind enough to let your club use his photos. He politely excuses himself, and as soon as he’s gone and the door is closed, you lean back on your chair. Sighing heavily, you smile to yourself as you feel your heart thumping loudly. “What is wrong with me?” you say to no one but yourself.

A few days later, you are at indoor gymnasium, taking photos of the volleyball players as they practice. Your club was asked by the faculty to prepare a special section dedicated to sports. “Hmm…the lighting isn’t quite right.” you mumble to yourself.

You fiddle with the settings of your camera, trying to get the adjustments right. Just then, you hear a voice from behind. “Let me help you.”

You turn around and chuckle as you see Hongbin. He flashes a dorky, cute smile and takes the camera from you, fiddling with the buttons and making adjustments. “That should do it.” he smiles.

You take your camera. “Thank you so much.”

You point your camera to the players’ direction and snap away. Afterwards, you preview your shots and gape at your camera’s screen. “They look amazing,” you laugh and face Hongbin, “you really are good at this, aren’t you, Photographer Hongbin?”

He just blushes again and shyly scratches his nape, “I’m not that amazing, but thank you.”

You chuckle at his cute shyness and humility. You give him a friendly pat on the arm. “You’re great, don’t deny it.”

Hongbin now chuckles with you, still flustered, but you can tell by his expression that he is genuinely happy to hear that.

Since you’re satisfied with the shots you took, you smile at Hongbin. “I actually need pictures of the other sports teams. I’m done with the soccer team, the baseball team and the track and field team, but I still need shots of the basketball team.”

“We have a practice game later after classes.” Hongbin says, “You can come with me and take shots.”

“Will you be playing? Girls will be happy to have pictures of you.” you tease.  

A smile forms on Hongbin’s lips, but you notice that there’s tinge of sadness in it. “No, I won’t. If you’d like, I’ll help you take pictures. I’ll bring my camera.”

You beam, “Yes, I’d like that. It’s going to be fun.”

Hongbin grins wider this time. He’s just as excited as you are.

Over the next few weeks, you and Hongbin become good friends. You even meet some of his friends, namely Ravi and Hyuk. The two like to tease you as a couple, and while Hongbin gets flustered and panicky, you remain calm and brush it off. Though deep inside, you know they have a point because somewhere along the journey of your friendship with Hongbin, you developed feelings for him. Not like other girls who think he’s just a pretty face, you actually like Hongbin for who he is. You love being with him. Of course, you wouldn’t admit it just yet.

Eventually, the two of you also became some sort of photography duo. Though he’s not an official newspaper club member, your club’s president allows him to partner with you when photos are needed. He doesn’t feel comfortable working with the other photojournalists, so he’s always paired with you because he feels more comfortable that way. Soon after, the newspaper club and the photography club somehow merged and developed a partnership because of how much you and Hongbin work together.

During the times that you two aren’t taking photos, busy with classes or basketball practice, you both go to cafés and talk over coffee. Sometimes, you’d also go around  the area, looking for aesthetic-looking places to practice your photography. Hongbin would often take photos of you, and you’d take photos of him. Some photos are pretty and good-looking, and there are also candid, silly photos that the two of you laugh at.

******

One evening, you stay up late in the library because you’re editing the layout and pictures of the soon-to-be published issue of the club’s newspaper. You’ve been there for hours, finalizing everything. While other members are editing and checking the written works, you are busy with the more creative and artsy side. When you’ve finished, you didn’t notice that it was past midnight. So you shut down your laptop and keep all your things, but the last thing you remember was that everything went black.

Minutes later, Hongbin drops by to check on you, but is surprised to see that you’ve fallen asleep. Your things are already packed, but he assumes that you were too tired to move, so you fell asleep there. Having a debate with himself, he was deciding whether to take you to your dorm or his. He’d take you to your dorm, but he doesn’t want to search you or invade your privacy by searching your bag for your dorm keys. He ends up making the decision to take you to his dorm.

Quietly, he carries you and sneakily heads for his room. Once there, he gently sets you on his bed and tucks you in with a blanket. Taking this as an opportunity, he gently smiles at your sleeping form, relieved that you’re getting rest. He brushes a strand of hair away from your face before he goes to sleep himself.

The next morning, you wake up, rubbing your eyes. The first thing you realize is that there is an earthy scent in the room. You don’t recall owning any scented candles or something of that sort, so you abruptly sit up. Even the bed and blanket is different. You look around the room. The things are very organized and neatly placed. You remember your desk being cluttered with papers, so this couldn’t have been your room. Whose was it? You look around, and when a body on the floor catches your attention, you cover your mouth and gasp. Then, you remember that you were up late, finishing your work for the club. You kneel on the floor next to Hongbin, who is just lying down on a thin mattress with small pillows. You sigh but smile at how gentle and thoughtful he was, but feel bad that he had to sleep on the floor. You wake him up gently by running your hands through his hair. When his eyes slowly open, he smiles sleepily, “Hi, y/n.” His voice is sleepy but sexy, however, you shake the thought away.

“Thanks for bringing me here, but you could have woken me up so that you wouldn’t have to sleep on the floor.” you chuckle.

“It’s fine. You looked really tired.” Hongbin states and you just smile at him.

He sits up and smiles, still sleepy, and you let out a little giggle. Reaching out, you fix his bed hair. “Such unruly hair.” you joke, and Hongbin laughs.

As you’re too focused on fixing his unruly bed hair, Hongbin whispers, “Y/n.”

He takes his chance and leans forward. Before you could react, you feel his soft lips on yours, and without any thought, you kiss back; it’s a short kiss, but when you two pull away, you’re smiling at each other like dorks. Blushing, you look down, and Hongbin takes your hand in his. “I never had the courage to ask, but I think I do now. Are you busy today? I’d like take you out on a real, proper date.”

You grin, still a bit shy, but you manage to answer, “Whoa really? Me? I’d love to.”

Hongbin happily smiles, his dimples more visible than ever. He squeezes your hand tighter and leans forward again. You both close your eyes, and once his lips are on yours, you’ve forgotten you’re on the floor and you both get lost in the kiss.