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sxtvrns · 1 year

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to reunite and resolve

🎶 now playing: don’t grow up too fast - grentperez

P: Connor Murphy x Fem!Reader

S: You were the one of the only people he called a friend. He wanted to call you more than that.

W: mentions of drug use, smoking, anxiety, cursing, sexual content, spoilers, short

N: Basing this off of Mike Faist’s Connor Murphy, because his version of Connor the one I envisioned while writing this. Some information is taken from the book adaptation of the musical. In the book, Connor explains that he is some form of LGBTQ+, yet it is never specified; hints of this are being used in this fic. this is super short and kinda shit LMAO

please interact if you enjoy!

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When he first threw that printer in second grade, you were the first thing he saw out of the corner of his eye. Everyone… well, almost everyone, looked at him in horror, screams so loud they could be heard from down the hall, besides Jared Kleinman, who said that the whole facade was so cool.

Some kids ran, some kids took cover, but you stood there with your mouth hanging open, gaze switching between Mrs. G and Connor. And to think the only reason for this was because he didn’t get to be line leader that day.

He couldn’t tell what you thought of him after that. There wasn’t a single thought behind your face that could determine whether you thought he was cool or you thought he was insane. But he resorted to the worst— you thinking he was a crazy maniac who had a breakdown only because he didn’t get what he wanted that day.

But no, that wasn’t the case. He sat down under a tree during recess one day, and you just so happened to be lurking on the other side of it. You peeked out, looking at the book he was reading. “Is that The Little Prince?” You ask, startling him. “Yeah. Why?”

“It was a bit sad, but I liked it. Which part are you on?”

“The part where he dies.”

Awkward.

“I’ve read this book 5 times.”

“So it’s your favourite?” He shrugs. “One of them.” You sit down next to him, eyes skimming over the words on the page. “I don’t like Mrs. G very much. She always finds something wrong in my work and points it out to the class,” you start, staring at Mrs. G who’s talking to a teacher far across the playground. “I don’t think you should do it again, but I thought that was cool.”

“What was cool?”

“When you threw that printer. Was it heavy?” He shakes his head. “You’re strong! That’s even cooler!”

He shuts his book with a quiet thump. “Shouldn’t you be talking to Lily over there? Or… Jane?” You shrug. “I don’t really have a group of friends. I talk to them and we’re friendly with each other, but… they don’t like the things I like. I don’t know– it seems like on some days they don’t like me and then other days they do. Maybe I’m just scared of that.”

“You’re lucky the printer didn’t hit Mrs. G. You’re even luckier you didn’t get in big trouble. I think that you were angry and you didn’t mean to hurt anyone.” He’s surprised by how well you manage to read him. He didn’t even know how he felt himself. It was an overwhelming feeling of rage that any six year old would have when things didn’t go their way, just that he approached it in a way that no one would believe a six year old would be able to do.

“Do you wanna see the books I’m reading later? You can borrow them if you’d like.” Connor looks at you and that stupid hopeful expression on your face, reluctantly nodding. He wasn’t one to turn down a read. He’d gotten sick of the rose hunting prince anyways.

Most kids in your class would rather go for the toys and playmat while the library picked up dust. Connor watched you every time you went to the little library in your room to pick up a book, always leaning over to see what you were reading. You seemed like one of the only avid readers in your class, not dozing off or merely flipping pages for convenience during silent reading. You really took your time in absorbing what was on the pages; sometimes he witnessed you even shed a tear.

From there, the two of you became good friends. Every partner project, you two would pair up. Every gym class, you’d be on the same team. If anything involved pairs, it would always be the two of you together, to the point where people started joking that you two were dating. Of course, you always brushed it off, but Connor seemed to think otherwise.

At the time, he couldn’t put his finger on what exactly he felt about you. He felt safe, happy, content. He also felt compassionate, open, and endearing. But years later, only when he went to Hanover and was in his first relationship, dealing with a multitude of emotional troubles, was when he realized what those feelings were.

Connor’s head rested on Miguel’s chest as he exhaled a puff of smoke. “She read a lot, sometimes I went over to her place, she always stayed by my side even thought she was made fun of, we’d trade lunches–“ He’s cut off by the sound of his friend chuckling. “Wow, you must’ve really liked her.”

“Huh?”

“I mean, I don’t think I’ve heard any guy in our entire school talk about a girl… not sexually.”

“That’s because we were in elementary. I wasn’t perverted.”

“Still, you blabber about her with such purity. Like a girl you really did love, even if you only were in the seventh grade. She seems nice. If you ever find her again, you should introduce her to me.” In the words that Miguel put it in, he was finally able to understand why he got so much more nervous around you. Why he’d scold himself for doing something moronic in front of you, unless that something made you laugh; he’d let out an internal sigh of relief.

Why he tended to defend you if someone teased you. Why he’d freeze up when your arm would brush against his. Why he’d always overthink about what you thought of him, knowing that you’d never leave his side. Instead, he left yours. He could see the hurt in your eyes after he told you he was moving schools and it almost made him want to stay just for you.

But knowing his parents, they wouldn’t understand why he’d change his mind so last minute.

Sometimes he didn’t understand why you stayed by his side. He knew you were somewhat of a fragile person, but watched you desensitize to those comments over the years.

Connor feels guilty talking about an old undetermined crush with a boy he was on indefinite terms with, but Miguel didn’t seem to mind. “I guess I did like her.” He squeezes Miguel’s hand, suddenly overwhelmed with disappointment. “And now I’ll never be able to see her again.”

“Didn’t you say you went to her place for projects and stuff? Couldn’t you pay her a visit?”

“What if she moved?”

Miguel scoffs. “Highly doubt it. What comes here, stays here.”

The suggestion played on loop in Connor’s head every day, even contemplating actually paying a visit. Yet he never owned up to it, until he was expelled and moved to a new school. Again.

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You rest your head on the desk, ignoring the homework reminders being given to the class. You stare blankly at the teacher through your hair, another boy coming into view that you hadn’t seen before.

His hair was brown, curly, and nearly reached his shoulders. He had defining cheekbones and painted nails, dark clothes and a messenger bag. A new student. A new student that you couldn’t help but think looked familiar to you, until you heard his name.

Connor Murphy.

He sat down in front of you, putting his bag to the side and kicking it under his desk. You wanted to talk to him, but it seemed like he didn’t recognize you either. Was it really him? The Connor Murphy who you sat under trees with, reading books and arguing about your favourite characters? The Connor Murphy who barely passed 4th grade?

“Connor…” You mutter a bit too loud, his head turned to side eye you. “What?” He replies, almost aggressively, his stare dark and hardening. You couldn’t believe it was him. But really, how many other Connor Murphy’s could there be in suburban New York?

He begins to turn away until you begin speaking. “Do you still read The Little Prince?” This time, he fully turns to you, eyes wide and no longer dull. “How many times have you read it since I’ve talked to you under that tree?” You smile, and Connor swears his heart stops. Out of pure shock, not attraction.

“Y/N?” He asks, and you nod, his face lighting up with a small smile. “Holy shit…” He sighs, his reaction making you giggle.

You’ve changed. You stopped tying your hair up, you gained a pair of dark circles, and he could just feel maturity radiating from you somehow. At least, you were more mature than he was.

“Um, I don’t really have anyone to hang out with during lunch. Do you wanna catch up then?” You offer, his head tilting. “Why not now? Instead of working on that project of yours.” Your face drops. “There’s a project?” What project was he talking about? Was it– oh, it was the role model one. You finished it already.

“Lucky you don’t have to do it. If we present, we get extra credit. I’m not up for humiliation though.” He turns around fully, and your eyes are drawn to his hands, slim and a bit veiny. He adorned a bracelet and his nail polish was black. He played with his fingers almost nervously, his hands on your desk. “What have you been up to?”

“I picked up guitar. Um, I do some vocal stuff outside of school.”

“Like performances?”

You nod. “Different genres. Jazz, pop, R&B… I’m in a few groups.” He nods. “I didn’t know you could sing.”

“I never showed off when we were younger. I’ve been taking lessons for a while.”

“Maybe you could show me later. Y’know, outside of school.” He quips with a hoping smile. “Are you flirting with me, Murphy?” You ask, leaning forward slightly, his eyes moving from your chest back to your eyes. “Maybe.” You scoff, shoving away his face. “You’re a pervert now?” You laugh, but his smile slowly begins to disappear.

“Oh, I was joking, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that– I mean, no one’s perverted to their childhood best friend right?” You awkwardly laugh while he sighs. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to look at you like that.”

“Like what?”

“Y/N, I was staring at your boobs.”

“Like a pervert?”

“For fuck’s sake, L/N, I am not a pervert.”

“Never said you were.”

You were provoking him. If it was another person doing the same thing, he’d have their head. Thrown something at them or given them a black eye. With you, it was all natural humour and jokes. He could brush it off without the need for bruising. The worst part was that you didn’t know you were aggravating him, with your cheeky smile and mischievous gaze.

Later that day, during lunch, you catch Connor off guard, leaning against a tree in the back of the school grounds where no one was, blowing out smoke. He tended to find solace in places where it was quiet and mostly alone. In high school, it was hard to find that kind of privacy, so you thought he’d be away and in the back where no one hung out, besides the drug dealers and porn magazine sellers.

“You smoke now?” You ask, him inhaling and letting out another puff. “I started a while ago. Keeps me sane.” He pulls it away from his mouth, contemplating. “I was gonna offer you some but, you sing now. I guess that comes in conflict.” How sweet of him to be so considerate. “Yeah. Wouldn’t wanna try it either way.”

You pause for a moment, watching him discard the joint. “How was Hanover?” You ask, a rush of memories overwhelming him all at once. “It was a fresh start. I liked it. I, um, made out with a dude? I don’t know, it was complicated.” You certainly didn’t expect that. “You had a boyfriend, then?”

“I dunno, we never specified on it. Complicated relationship.”

“How about girlfriends?” You hear him scoff. “You really think a guy that went to an all boys school would find a girlfriend?” You shrug, standing beside him. “I thought it was common for all boys and all girls schools to collaborate or host events together.”

“I don’t know if there were any collaborating events. I always skipped. Speaking of skipping, would you like to join me on a trip to Burger King instead of going to fifth and sixth?” You shouldn’t be surprised he’s skipping classes. He always joked about doing so in elementary, yet it never crossed your mind to contemplate if he was actually going to do so. “Unlike you, I actually care about my grades. You can come over if you’d like.”

“After years you still expect me to know the address?” He jokes. “I haven’t moved. I’ll text you.” You pull out your phone, opening your contacts app and letting him type in his number. He set his contact name as ‘C’, with a cigarette emoji next to it. “If you ever call me and that name pops up on my phone while I’m with my dad, he is going to kill me. Thinking I have a dealer or something.”

“Well, if you need anything, you know where to find me.”

You text him the address, not seeing him for the rest of the school day. He frequently skipped classes, except for the classes you two had together. He came over many times, your dad eventually meeting him when he wasn’t rushing out the door for work.

Only… one particular visit caused something to happen with reasons unknown.

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You open the window, lighting some scented candles you found in the closet. Connor looked at his joint, inspecting it carefully, instead tossing it somewhere in his bag rather than lighting it, laying face up on your bed with a sigh.

The first time he was in your room, the first thing he asked was:

“Why the fuck is there sheet music everywhere?”

Which surprised you at first, mostly because you didn’t think he’d know what it was in the first place. He’d always smoke, mostly out the window, and you’d drench your room in air freshener afterwards so your dad wouldn’t know.

Connor was a very touchy person, especially when he was high. Sometimes he’d rest his head on your shoulder, his breath smelling of weed. Or on your lap, where his hair sometimes got trapped between your thighs. A hand on your leg, or on your thigh. You didn’t think of it at first, because it was Connor.

Though he took touchy to an extreme one day.

“Have you kissed anyone yet? Y’know, while I haven’t seen you.” You look up at him from your paper, amused. “Why are you asking?” He shakes his head, turning over and looking at you. “Oh, no, just wondering. So is that a no?” You sigh with a silent laugh. “No, I haven’t kissed anyone, Connor.”

“Really?”

“Mhm.”

“So you’re a virgin, then?”

“Connor, where is this coming from?”

“Do you know about the jocks constantly rambling about all the girls they have sex with?” He ignores your question with another question. “Yeah. It’s fucking annoying.” You scoff with a breathy laugh, taking a sip from your bottle. “You know they talk about you, right?”

You nearly spit out your water, saving the drops that fall from your mouth from falling onto your shorts. “Excuse me?” You say after swallowing. “Yeah. It’s all, ‘Bet 10 bucks I can bang her’ while they point at you. Or they go, ‘Jesus, wonder how much she can take’.”

“So I’m being objectified?” He nods slowly, looking up at you through his messy hair. “Unfortunately, yes. Want me to do something?”

“If it results in you getting suspended, no.”

“You sure? Those guys are dicks.”

“They’ll never believe us without any proof. And your reputation is bad enough already. I don’t want you to fall any more because of me.”

“Y/N, I’ll do anything for you.”

Those words make you pause and reflect. Was he high? No, because he tossed his joint in his bag anywhere. Even then, Connor would never say that for anyone. It seemed so out of character for him that you almost laughed.

“Are you high?”

“What?”

“I know damn well you wouldn’t do anything for anyone.”

“Y/N, I’m serious.” His gaze is stern, dark, and hard but also eager, glossy and hopeful. “I don’t know, maybe it is the weed I smoked twelve hours ago, but you’re really pretty. Sometimes I wonder how I managed to become friends with someone like you.”

“Someone like me?”

“Someone so pretty that doesn’t give a fuck about the fact I do drugs or the shit I’m dealing with. I really like you, Y/N. Always have. You didn’t single me out, you never left my side— you’re the one person in my fucked up life that makes me feel like I belong. That I matter.” Your childhood best friend, who’s now sitting up with a hand on your thigh, just confessed his undying love to you.

And you had to admit, the more you two started to hang out and reconnect, the more you started to develop something of an attraction to him. He never smiled at anyone but you, he didn’t push you away or glare at you; it was like he had a soft spot just for you, and it made you like him even more.

“I hope you aren’t gonna fuck me over. Y’know, if you don’t like me back.” His finger traces patterns on your thigh, the way his hand unknowingly rides up making your brain go haywire. “I’m… I, uh– I’m not.” He looks at you, for some reason, disappointed. “Should’ve known you didn’t. Forget this ever happened, then.”

“No, no! I like you! I really do like you, Connor. You’re charming and handsome and…” You hear him huff out a laugh, his face closing in on yours. “I know no one else thinks of me like that but you. You’re obsessed with me.”

“Could say the same for you, Murphy.”

His head tilts, his nose touching yours. “Wanna kiss you.” He mutters. You simply nod, inviting. “Okay.” You reply. He presses his lips to yours, feeling full and complete the moment you two meet. He can sense your confusion at first, but you managed to learn how to move with him quickly. Perks of being a fast learner.

He hovers on top of you on your bed, admiring you when he pulls away. His eyes shamelessly trail down from your face, to your chest, your stomach, your legs, his face cupped in your hands and pulling him towards you to kiss him again.

His tongue slipped into your mouth, the mood instantly erotic.

His hands are all over you. The back of your head, your shoulders, your waist, your hips, your thighs; he placed them wherever he could push you closer to him. When his mouth follows his hands to descend to your neck, you let out a soft whimper, panicking when you barely catch sight of the door.

“W-Wait.” You pant, nudging Connor for him to move to the side. You scramble off your bed, closing the window and the curtain and turning off the lights, going for the doorknob. “Thought you said your dad wasn’t home.” Connor says as you lock the door. “Never know when he will be.”

When you join him on the bed, his hands at the hem of your shirt, you stop him with a touch on his wrist. “Um, I don’t…”

“Oh, shit, did I go too far? I’m sorry–“

“No, no! I want it, I really do, but… you know...” He realized how nervous you were, remembering you haven’t done anything like this before. He gives you a gentle kiss on your forehead, tucking your hair behind your ear. “You know I have. You trust me?” He asks, giving you doe eyes you’ve never seen before. You nod, emitting a chuckle from him. “Let me take care of you then.”

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Sex was one thing. Having sex with your best friend is another.

It’s either your dad stayed at work all night or he’s in grave danger, given you haven’t heard him scream out of pure horror, then yell at you first thing in the morning. You woke up unbothered, naked, and held by your best friend. Unless this whole thing changed your relationship.

Were you even friends anymore? Was this a friends with benefits thing now? But he practically confessed to you yesterday, unless he was high. But he didn’t smoke anything, and the room doesn’t smell that bad…

One thing is for sure: Connor Murphy knows how to fuck.

Maybe it was the fact that you were a complete virgin or that you did whatever he asked you to, but you swear you could still feel how you felt last night when he was in you.

Your head rests on his arm, wrapping around you and holding you close to him. The ends of his hair touch your own head, and you blow them out of the way. You can feel him move, and he groans, meaning you woke him up. You lean into him more, feeling his fingers lightly brush your side. You feel his head turn, his hair moving from your head.

“Hi.” He says, peering down at you. You look up at him, noticing his gaze. “Hi.”

He plants a kiss on your forehead, his fingers moving to brush through your hair. “I think I passed out after.” You say, hearing him chuckle. “You did. When I came back to clean up, you were nearly snoring.”

“Oh god, I snore?”

“Loudly.”

He notices you going silent, immediately worried. “I was just joking! Well, kind of, you snore, but not loudly. Not like a dad snore.” You giggle into the side of his arm, followed by a brief moment of silence. “What are we now?”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t think friends confess their undying love for each other and tie it off with sex.”

He pauses, hearing quiet hums come from his mouth. “Can I be your boyfriend, then?” He feels you nod against his arm while you hum in response. “Yeah.” You get out from under the covers, going to stand up until a brief pain shoots up your legs.

Memories of the night before suddenly come rushing in. “Fuck those jocks, I’m the only one who can see you like this.” He said, after making a mess of you with only his fingers.

He really fucked you good last night.

You curse under your breath, legs weak as you stare at the scattered clothes on the ground, tossing your own into the laundry basket by your door. You grab a new change, turning around and noticing Connor staring at you the whole time, an expression you can’t make out.

“I was that good? Your legs are shaking.” You roll your eyes and throw his shirt at him after putting on a pair of shorts. “Shut up. A real boyfriend would help me and not make fun of me.” He fake pouts, getting out of bed and putting on his own clothes.

You turn on the TV downstairs, the morning news playing and showing the date as Friday.

Friday.

Shit.

You’re beyond late.

“Turns out there was a gas leak so there’s no school. That works out great for us.” Connor says as if he could read your mind. You hear the garage door open, meaning your dad had just come home from work. He enters the room, seeing both of you standing by the kitchen counter.

“Shouldn’t you two be at school?” Is the first thing your dad says, eyeing both of you. “Cancelled. Gas leak.” You feel Connor’s hand rest at your hip, wanting to swat it away but knowing your dad already saw it just by the look on his face. “Did he use protection? I know you’re on those pills, but–“

“Oh my god, yes, he did, look– can we talk about this later?” Your dad shrugs and nods before heading for the stairs, hearing Connor laugh beside you. “How did he know?” You panic, placing toast on both your plates. “Maybe he saw your legs shaking from there.”

“Shut up.”

“Make me.”

You glare at him, giving him a brief kiss before bringing both your plates to the table. He quite literally does as you say, keeping quiet the entire time he eats his breakfast.

You should do that more often.

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You knew that Connor was a very mischievous person. He always has been.

He’d skip classes, casually threaten people as if it were nothing, smoke weed; he nearly flushed firecrackers down a toilet once. He didn’t go through with it because you told him not to.

He was also mischievous in terms of your relationship.

He let you leave hickeys wherever you saw fit, in places visible and invisible. You were more wary of it. He showed them off proudly; well, not really proudly, he just didn’t mind if people saw or stared at him with hanging jaws. He couldn’t be bothered to cover them— the only time he did care was when his family would point them out.

He’d sneak out and go to your place frequently; he always preferred your house over his, mostly because he felt like he had a parent he could actually tolerate (and love). If your dad were to ever barge in, he’d stare at Connor, then at you, then at Connor’s bag, and ask if he had protection before leaving and closing the door. Connor always said yes.

It was also a convenient reminder for you to lock your door anytime Connor was in your room, since most of the time nights would always end in sex.

You fumbled for your keys to unlock the front door, Connor’s lips on yours when you stumbled inside. You didn’t notice a bunch of men in the living room, including your dad, holding beer bottles and staring at you until you saw them out of the corner of your eye. “Welcome back. How was the party?” Your dad asks, as if he didn’t see the escapade between you and your boyfriend.

“It was shhh– It sucked. Yeah. It sucked. Hi.” You mutter the last part, eyes quickly dashing over everyone who’s attention is taken away from the game on the TV. “Um, we’re just gonna… yeah.” You drag Connor with you out of their sight and upstairs.

“Does he have–“

“Yes!”

You slam your door shut, locking it, seeing Connor visibly nervous. “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Was the party too much?”

“A little bit. And then… your dad’s friends just staring at us. I don’t know– anxiety? This is a stupid thing to be worried about.” You sit down next to him, hugging him while rubbing his back. “Don’t worry about them, okay? They’ve probably done the same when they were younger.”

You feel him sigh into your shoulder, his voice muffled.

“Thank you.”

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don’t grow up too fast. don’t leave me in the past. as long as you never change who you are, i know in your heart i’m never far. 🎧

#connor murphy #connor murphy x reader #dear evan hansen #dear evan hansen musical #mike faist #fanfiction

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yvette-tal · 8 months

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“I feel kinda…empty.”

Connor opens his eyes again, turning on his side to look at you in the darkness of his room, barely able to make out your figure among his covers but she can clearly see your eyes so that’s what he looks at.

“yeah? what’s that like?” He mumbled as he scoots closer to hear you, assuming you don’t want to raise your voice much more than the whisper you started with.

“well..it just feels like nothing I do matters..”

Connor nods quietly, not wanting to interrupt since it’s the first time you’re telling him what you’ve been so ‘gloomy’ about the past few weeks, but he relates to you so far.

“Like..no matter what I do different or what I could do different—the people I talk to, wherever I happen to go that day, whatever I do in my free time before work, what I do after work…I feel empty. Like absolutely nothing would change is I were to just…”

You trail off and look away with a frustrated sigh, blocking Connor’s view of your eyes. “I’m a boring person.” You mumble into his pillow, flinching slightly when Connor lays his head on your shoulder.

“I don’t think you are.” He mumbled “all of my best memories involve you…I’d be upset if you just disappeared.” He added, leaning against you more and smiling slightly when he catches a glimpse of you rolling your eyes. “What? You don’t believe me?”

“No, Connor. I don’t.” You mutter and smack his hand away when he reaches up to squish your face in his hand “What could I have possibly done to make such a great change in your life?” You ask sarcastically, rolling your eyes again as Connor lays his head on the same pillow as you, this time laying on his back and looking up at the ceiling.

“Well, I probably would have killed myself by now if we never became friends.” He says quietly, looking over at you when you elbow him “I’m serious…”

“Yeah whatever…”

“I wouldn’t be having a sleepover with anyone right now if we hadn’t met, I wouldn’t have anyone to talk to, or share a sketchbook with…” Connor continued, only going quiet at the small sound of annoyance you let out.

“You could do that with anyone though..” I mumble and look the other way.

“but that point is that I did it with you. you’re what matters, idiot.” Connor mumbles as he pulls you close, an arm tight around your neck as he nuzzled your faces together, laughing quietly as you squirm in his hold to try to push him away.

“stupid, get off of me!” You whisper shout

“fuck you!” Connor whisper shouts back as he tightens his hold.

(can you tell I adore Connor Murphy lmao)

#male reader #connor murphy #connor murphy x reader #Connor Murphy x male reader #deh #dear Evan Hansen connor #Connor Murphy fluff #mlm fanfic #nblm fanfic

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theromcommotel · 11 months

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CONNOR MURPHY !!

“MAKE ME HAPPY !!”

prompt: y/n is over for dinner meeting the murphy’s, y/n happened to say something that made connor smile, why would his family be so shocked about that?

requested: imaginationlast

warnings: out of character connor/none(?)

connor murphy x gender neutral!reader

“so y/n, what exactly do you plan to do after you and connor graduate?” larry murphy asked from across the dinner table.

“well, sir, quite frankly i’m not sure yet.” you said, giving a small awkward laugh at the end, quite embarrassed.

“it’s okay, y/n, sweetie, connor doesn’t know what he wants to do yet either.” cynthia smiled, it’s like she knows my every move, you thought. lary gave a small shake of his head, showing slight disappointment, as it was obvious zoe knew what she wanted to do.

“well, connor will figure it out, he’s just cool like that. he can do almost anything just, on the fly like that.” you said, giving the two parents a small smile.

connor looks up from his food, for the first time since you and connor had left his bedroom, more specifically he looks up at you. “thank you, n/n.” he says, smiling at you, but going back to his food.

“what?” zoe gasped, with a confused look on her face.

“exactly what i’m thinking, connor are you high-?” lary began, but was interrupted by their guest.

“i’m sorry what, i’m a little confused, heh.” you said giving a small, bashful, smile.

“oh my god, i knew it! i knew it would come!” cynthia said, hugging you from across the table.

“what would come?” you asked, even more confused.

“the day connor would smile.” zoe said bluntly.

you have a confused look, unsure of what they meant.

“as you may know, connor struggles, a lot. we don’t even remember the last time connor ever smiled. he’s been so alone for so many years, we’re just…glad he has you.” cynthia smiled.

you were so confused, what do they mean connor doesn’t smile? he always smiles around you? i mean, you knew he struggled but you never knew this badly? and speaking of, when was the last time his family saw him smile? you began to wonder if-

“i don’t get why it’s a big deal.” connor said, rolling his eyes at his mother, who was just previously rambling and on the brink of tears.

“y/n makes me happy, they always have, and always will.” connor shrugged, getting up to put his plate away. his family - and you, more flabbergasted then before.

heyooo!! hope y’all enjoyed this one!! sorry it was so short lol, i couldn’t think of all that much for this.

if there’s anything offensive/inaccurate in my writings message me asap!

reblogs and likes are appreciated!!

-hermy <3

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mikedfaist · 6 months

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Okay, OKAY. It's finally happening. I am beginning my Riff fic, because I think, collectively, we all need a smitten, protective, completely enamored and downright in love Riff in our lives. At least I do.

In the mean time, I am still accepting any one-shot/headcannons/little trinket of ideas.

#mike faist #riff west side story #riff x reader #dodge mason #dodge x reader #panic amazon #connor murphy x reader #dear evan hansen

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mymomhatesmyguts · 1 day

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connor murphy stans where are you

so i've been thinking of writing some connor x reader fics or even just connor fics in general but like,, is there a market for that?? do people still like connor or is it just me 😭 pls let me know

#ugh seeing mike faist in challengers reminded me of his long hair era #likee #hes so cute omg #deh #mike faist x reader #connor murphy #dear evan hansen #connor murphy x reader

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sadboi-writer · 1 year

Note

Hello there :)

I just want to say that I am very new to tumblr and i dont know how this works haha

Can I request a connor murphy x reader where the reader stands up for him in the cafeteria at the first day of school? And that the reader kinda struggles with their mental health and they just comfort each other and stuff? I hope that's okay :)

An Angel In Disguise

Connor Murphy x Reader

Warnings: Cussing, mention of suicide

Summary: When Derek Fulton takes it upon himself to call out the "freak" of the school it's not Evan Hansen or Jared Kleinman who sticks up for Connor. No, it's the newest student at the school Y/N L/N who wrecks Derek's pride and defends the broody boy. Maybe it's because they can clock Connor's problems from a mile away.

A/N: Hello everyone! I'm so sorry for not writing in so long! I got really caught up in the first musical of my senior year. But, I'm on thanksgiving break now so I'll try to get out as many requests as I can!

A sigh fell from their lips.

Too loud. Y/N thought as they pushed through the crowd of students fighting to get to their first hours.

Looking down at their schedule Y/N saw the locker number and combination written on it by the counselor. They found it, but there were already four guys in front of it.

One was blond, he was wearing a blue shirt, and he looked nervous. Another had brown curly hair and boxy glasses, he wore a Galaga t-shirt under a black starry button down. Another looked like a stereotypical jock, letterman jacket, red close cropped hair, and a fuck-boy face. The fourth guy had longer brown hair, it was down to his shoulders, and he was wearing layers of grey and black.

It looked like the jock was giving them some trouble. Y/N rolled their eyes, So fucking cliche, they thought.

Y/N approached their locker, and the jock eyed them warily.

"Just kill yourself, Murphy." He said, seemingly to the longer haired one

Y/N straightened their shoulders, turning to the small group. Before the jock could continue Y/N placed a hand on his chest, pushing him away from the boys.

"Ew. No, sir." Y/N snapped, "Who the fuck do you think you are to say that to someone? How about you do everyone a favor, apologize to him, and then go learn how to be a decent person."

"And who are you?" The guy growled

Y/N smiled, "Y/N L/N. And your worst nightmare if you don't turn around and apologize to the tree that gave you the air to say that."

The jock huffed and walked away. Y/N turned back to the other boys. The proclaimed “Murphy” was staring at the ground.

“So, he’s a complete asshole, huh?” Y/N commented

The boy in blue nodded, “Y-Yeah. Uh, thank you.”

Y/N softened at the nervousness of the boys. The one in the starry button down was looking anywhere but at Y/N. They stepped forward and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“Are you guys okay?” Y/N asked softly

“Uhm, yeah.” said button down boy

“Murphy?” Y/N cooed

He looked up, he was fighting back tears. Y/N could tell, they’d done that so many times. He was trying to not cry in front of his friends.

“I’m fine.” He mumbled

Y/N nodded, “I’ll walk with you to class.”

The other two boys waved and walked away. Y/N took “Murphy”’s hand and walked him out to the front steps. A look of confusion donning his face. Y/N sat and patted the spot next to them.

“Don’t listen to that guy.” Y/N said, “He’s an asshole who wants to make you miserable because he doesn’t want anyone to be happy.”

He shook his head, “I wasn’t gonna-”

“Yes you were,” Y/N gave him a look, “I’ve been there, dude. It gets to be too much, doesn’t it?”

He was silent for a moment.

“Yeah.”

His response was quiet, almost inaudible. Y/N looked over and saw the tears had finally been released.

“It just feels like it would be so much easier. That so many people would be so much happier without me.”

Y/N nodded, they had been there. Had felt that exact thing.

“But they wouldn’t. Your friends? Those boys from the hall? Would be absolutely devastated.” Y/N replied, “Your parents would be crushed. All of your teachers would ask how they could’ve helped you more. Peers? They would think back on every single thing they said to you and regret not talking to you more. It seems easier, but it isn’t.”

He was silent, tears flowing. And Y/N wrapped their arm around his shoulder.

“It’ll pass. You wanna know how I know? Because I’ve been there.” Y/N continued, “There will be highs and lows. Times where all you want to do is go to sleep and not wake up. But, every day that you wake up and cope with all of those emotions. You’re winning a battle. A battle for your future. A future that is so, so bright.”

He sniffled, “Thank you.”

Y/N pulled him against them and let him cry into their shirt. And there they stayed for the rest of first hour. A new friendship blossoming.

#dear evan hansen #dear evan hansen x reader #evan hansen #connor murphy #jared kleinman #connor murphy x reader

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dreaminginpastels · 2 years

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Hi Daniella!, Can I ask for a fem!reader for Conor Murphy, in which the reader has a big family with a couple of brothers and sisters (she is the oldest) and she wants to introduce Connor to them, but my poor Con is very insecure about it ?. If you don't fell like doing it is totally fine, take care ❤

Nela

open your eyes

pairing: connor murphy x fem!reader

summary: connor is finally comfortable to be himself in your relationship when you decide it’s time for him to meet your big family

warnings: slight angst, mentions of mental health struggles, bullying, and insecurity (because it’s Connor)

reader pronouns: she/her (by request)

word count: 1.8k

*✧ deh masterlist | main masterlist | ask | taglist ✧*

Connor Murphy was in love with you. But then again, he’d never really had any other option. You weren’t the type to give up on anyone, and once you’d decided that you would be friends with Connor Murphy, well, the boy didn’t stand a chance.

He’d fallen for you slowly, ever careful with his fragile heart. Had done everything that he could to deter you. He’d put on a tough facade, determined to not fall for those doe eyes of yours, but his walls had started to crumble from the first moment he heard your sweet voice.

It had been your first day of school, a year ago or thereabouts, and he had been grabbing books out of his locker when he’d heard confident steps approaching him. He’d flinched, used to being grabbed and shoved against lockers, or shoved to the ground, books toppling around him. High schoolers were not kind. His nervous system relaxed, however, when he’d seen you looking up at him, shoulders back, with a determined smile on your face. “Hi, I’m new here and-”

“I can tell.”

“Oh! Right, sorry.” You smiled, shaking off his rude interruption. “I’m y/n, it’s my first day and I was wondering if you could tell me where room 416 is?”

He rolled his eyes, painful as it was to treat such adorableness with displeasure. Still, he couldn’t let anyone in. Not when he’d been hurt too many times before. “Look, what I mean is I can tell you’re new here because no one speaks to me unless they’re looking for trouble. But, if it gets you out of my hair, it’s down the hall, to your left, and then your third right. Got it?”

You nodded, smiling up at him as he turned back to his locker. “Thank you…uh…”

He sighed, closing his locker door and turning to you. “It’s Connor.”

“Oh, well thank you Connor, I-”

Your voice had paused as he turned and walked down the hallway in the opposite direction. That hadn’t stopped you though. “I hope you have a great day!”

It would take him months to tell you, but as he walked away from you that day, a small smile spread across his face at your kind words. He told himself not to think anything of it, but figured as he’d probably never see you again, he could allow himself to enjoy that small moment of kindness. It was a rare occurrence for him after all.

Until it wasn’t. A few days later, he was sitting alone in the cafeteria when a lunch tray appeared next to him. Again, he flinched at the sound of it hitting the table, used to being approached by bullies intending to threaten him or tease him about…existing…he figured. But again, he’d been surprised when those increasingly familiar doe eyes looked up at him. “Hi Connor, it’s uh, y/n? We met the other day. I just wanted to say thank you for helping me find my class. It’s nice to have a friend, this school is bigger than I imagined.”

He was flabbergasted. A beautiful girl kept approaching him, and had now decided that they were friends? After a miniscule interaction? He had to be dreaming. These kinds of things didn’t happen to guys like him. And yet there you were, awaiting his response patiently while he sat there like a moron staring blankly back at you. Nice one Connor. He laughed as he thought back to how awkward he’d been.

“People don’t usually sit with me.”

Somehow emboldened by his words, you shuffled closer. He felt his walls begin to crumble. “Well there’s always a first!”

He stared at you before coughing himself into action, he figured he should at least give talking to you a go. “How, uh- How was your first day anyway?”

Your mouth broke into a warm smile. Crumble. “It was alright, a bit lonely, people don’t seem to want to give new people a chance here, but-”

“Oh, they don’t give anyone that isn’t a part of their cliques a chance, don’t take it personally.”

“Thanks Connor,” Those doe eyes met his cautious irises. Crumble. “So how’s your day?”

He grimaced then, not used to people asking him about himself. He took a deep breath and gave his best attempt at a smile. “It’s, uh- okay? I don’t usually have someone to talk to about my day so I’m not really sure what to say.”

You frowned at him, which, against his better judgement, caused a deep laugh to emerge from his chest. Crumble. He couldn’t help it, your concern for him was adorable. Those walls he built to keep himself safe were no match for your kind heart. “Well, here.”

You leaned down and took out a notebook and pen from your bag before writing on the page, ripping it out, and handing it to him. When he took the page from you, his hand trembled as he realised what had happened. He looked up at you with the expression of a child being given their first dose of affection. You smiled, resolute. “Now you have my number, so you can call or text to tell me about your day if you ever want to.”

He couldn’t get the smile off his face for the rest of the day, palming the page in the pocket of his hoodie whenever he needed a reminder that someone as wonderful as you actually seemed to care about him. Little did he know how your heart had soared when, an hour after school, your phone buzzed with his first message:

Hi y/n, this is Connor. Thanks for being my friend. You’re a cool person.

Followed immediately by another after as he realised that his message was a bit cold.

You’d giggled the whole way home.

A year later, and you had happily been dating for eight months. It had been tough, what with Connor’s seemingly endless self-doubts and insecurities, but you were going strong. Connor had made you more considerate and thoughtful, taking extra care to stop and pay attention to the world around you, and you had made him open up, showed him that it was okay to let the world in and that not everyone was out to hurt him.

Connor was finally comfortable being himself, secure in the relationship, when you decided that it was time for your worlds to combine. Your mother had been insisting for months that she wanted to have your boyfriend over for dinner, and having seen Connor so happy lately, you figured now was as good a time as any.

You imagined it going so smoothly, with Connor melting into your arms and being so excited to meet the people that loved you as much as he did. What happened instead was that Connor stared at you wide-eyed for a moment, then stood up, mumbled something about being late for class, and left the cafeteria. Despite it being the middle of the lunch break.

Anyone else would’ve been worried but you knew Connor. He just needed a bit of time to think about things and then he would come find you and talk about it. Sure enough, he approached your locker right after the school bell rang to finish the day.

He looked at you nervously, arms folding in on themselves. “Can, uh, we talk?”

You nodded. “Of course we can, love.”

You walked to a nearby park where you often spent time, the two of you sitting down on a park bench. A group of young kids were kicking a soccer ball around between them, while others sat on swings. You looked at Connor whose gaze was locked on the group kicking the ball around in a desperate bid to avoid your eyes. “Sweetheart, what’s going on in that mind? Please let me in.”

He sighed, studying the gravel below you with his head in his hands. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to meet your family.”

Your eyebrows furrowed in concern. “And why is that?”

Running his hands through his hair, he finally looked up at you. “I’m not a..people person…like you. I mean, you remember what I was like before we were dating, I’m not good at looking at people, let alone talking to them, let alone trying to impress your family who…”

His eyes widened. “-your large family, who I’m just never going to be enough for. Your parents are already going to stress me out and you can at least hold an adult conversation with them. How am I supposed to make a good impression on your siblings? They’re kids! I’m horrible with kids.”

Just as Connor was returning to his head-in-hands-moping position, a ball landed at his feet. “Hey, pass us the ball!”

Connor slowly stood up, gently dribbling the ball between his feet before jogging over to the group and passing it to the boy that had called out. “Dude, that was some super quick footing before, do you play professionally or something?”

You watched the young boy blush, rubbing a hand behind his neck bashfully. “Haha, no!”

Connor leaned down, “You sure? With moves like that I wouldn’t be surprised if you make the big leagues with some patience and practice!”

The kid squinted up at your boyfriend, smiling excitedly, and your heart melted at the sight. Connor reached over and ruffled the boy’s hair before heading back over to you. He turned around to the boy, pointing a finger at him and calling out, “Gotta put in the hard work, alright?”

The kid nodded as Connor sat back next to you. You noted how his body language had shifted: he was more open, happier, content. At least until he remembered the conversation he had left. He sighed, “I just…they’re going to hate me.”

“Connor, hey,” You reached out an arm, noting the way he flinched before easing into your touch. It broke your heart how much pain he held inside him, despite how far he’d come. How far you both had. “They’re going to love you. You have so much heart, my love. You try so hard to be loving and kind despite all that you’re going through. How could they not love you?”

He lingered in your gaze before looking back out to the park, letting out a deep exhale. You took the opportunity to continue. “I mean, look at how you just made that little boy’s day. He’s not going to forget the guy that went up to him in the park and believed in him and his dreams. If you can do that, you can sure as hell hold a conversation with my siblings.”

He looked up at you, a glint of hope in his eye and a small smile appearing on his face. “You think?”

You smiled, “Absolutely. And besides, do you really think I’d ever let you get hurt by someone, even slightly? If my family says anything that upsets you, I’ll be right there. And I’ll give them a piece of my mind.”

He laughed and wrapped his arms around you, angling down to kiss the top of your hair. “How did I ever get lucky enough to find you?”

You smiled into his embrace, “You opened your eyes.”

a/n: hi lovely Nela! thank you for being so patient waiting for me to tackle one of your wonderful requests. I figured since you’re a bit nervous about your upcoming adventure that I would surprise you with a story to cheer you up! I hope that this is everything that you wanted it to be. thank you for always being such a wonderful friend 💜

p.s. I listened to the writing playlist you made me while writing this and I absolutely adore it 🥰

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graziellathedancingqueen · 1 year

Text

connor murphy x reader part 2

requested by @fictionalincorrectquotes

summary: reader stands up for Connor in the cafeteria and defends him when the teacher is getting mad because of his phone in class.

word count: 1110 (part 1 and 2)

warnings: reader has anxiety?

pairing: Connor Murphy x reader

a/n: i hope you like it because i definitely like it!! If I made any mistakes please tell me <33

★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆

Oddly enough Connor showed up to the next lesson as well. And it was maths. Not one of his favorites. But honestly y/n didn't like maths either.

Yet there they were both sitting in math class next to each other doing the exercises they were given. Well one of them was doing the exercises. The other one was on his phone. It went unnoticed until the teacher walked around the classroom and saw him.

"Connor... we talked about phones in class."

"Yes, mrs G... I know but-"

"No but's. We talked about this."

"It's really-"

"It can't be that important"

"No seriously it's-"

"I asked him to search something on the internet for me. About maths. I didn't really understand what we're supposed to do. My phone broke down. I'm really sorry I will ask the next time. Thank you Connor, I think I understand now. That was really kind. I really thought I'd have to sit here for the rest of the hour and stare at that worksheet. Again... I'm really sorry Mrs G. It won't happen again." y/n decides to say something, earning surprised looks from everyone else in the room.

"Is that true?" Mrs G asks Connor who just quietly nods. "Well then that's a very nice thing of you to do" she says before she keeps walking around the room.

As y/n keeps doing the exercises in front of them Connor quickly passes a note with a simple "thank you :) you didn't have to do that." on it. "I did. Do you have someone to do the history presentation with?" y/n writes back. "History presentation??" is all y/n gets. "yk the one we got the thing for yesterday. we have to hold the presentation tomorrow. about our favorite book." they write back "i totally forgot that... we can do it together? you get anxious a lot. i can tell. me too. great team." He writes down and passes the note back to y/n as the bell rings and everyone starts packing their things.

"I'd love that. How did you know?" Y/n asks

"Hm? Know what?" Connor answers as short as possible while packing up.

"That I get anxious"

"Well you do the same things I do when I'm anxious."

"Oh."

"You know what? I'll write down my address. 4p.m. okay? Oh and my parents will think we're dating. But they'll love you. They love everyone that comes over. Believe me there's been no one for ages."

"Thanks. Yeah 4p.m. sounds great..." y/n says taking the piece of paper as Connor is leaving already.

What just happened?

School is finally over and y/n is on the way home as Zoe Murphy jogs up next to her. "Hey you. Heard you're coming over later! That's interesting news. Usually we don't have people over" she says and y/n isn't sure what to think of that. "Yeah it's for this history presentation about our favorite book... we decided to do it together." y/n says and smiles at the girl walking next to her. "See you later then?" Zoe asks before walking to the left where y/n has to go right. "Yeah I'll see you later"

#connor murphy x reader #connor murphy #dear evan hansen #dear evan hansen x reader #mike faist #mike faist x reader

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lovingmusicalmen · 1 year

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Requests are Open!!

So... it's been ages since I've posted on here, but I've finally got some actual time and I've just gotten back into the musical... fandom? I guess? Idk what to call it lmao

But I recently saw West Endsies, which made me fall in love with Newsies all over again, which led to me falling back into the rabbit hole of musical fandoms! So I'm going to be deleting all the old requests I have (unless I'm particularly inspired for one in particular), and opening requests for new characters and the same old ones!

It's going to be for short little blurbs, based off of a prompt list (linked here (credit to: @mangocherri))

Here are the characters I will write for (if you want to request for someone else not listed, feel free to - but also please also put who you wouldn't mind me writing for, if I don't feel comfortable writing for your preferred character (if that even made sense lmao)) - I've put a * next to my favourite characters to write for!

Platonic requests and ones not from the prompt list are also welcome and encouraged!

Newsies

Jack Kelly

Crutchie *

Racetrack *

Davey Jacobs

Spot Conlon

Katherine Plumber

Mike Faist

Riff * (also willing to write for other Jets/Sharks)

Dodge Mason

Connor Murphy

#newsies x reader #jack kelly x reader #crutchie x reader #racetrack x reader #davey jacobs x reader #spot conlon x reader #katherine plumber x reader #riff x reader #dodge mason x reader #connor murphy x reader #mike faist x reader

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misguidedswagger · 2 years

Text

How You and Connor Met & Started Dating [Headcannons]

a/n: hi! i know its been a while since i’ve posted but i’ve been super busy! this has been in the drafts in a while, but i’ve finally had the time to finish it! and yes, ik, shut up obviously this isn’t connor, but just pretend it is. enjoy the headcannons! sorry for the shitty ending lmao

You were a transfer student to Connor's school, as your parents had just gotten new jobs in the area your senior year.

You were in the main entrance, trying to find your way to your homeroom

You were staring at the paper in your hands when you heard an annoying voice say something really rude to someone else, whether it was a joke or not "Very school shooter chic, Connor."

You flew forward before you even realized, "You're an asshole! You don't just say things like that to people!" The boy with the long hair opened his mouth to say something, but you spoke before he could.

"Woah, who's the new kid?" The asshole replied, looking you up and down, "You another freak too? Lovely." He said before walking away

You turned back to the boy you had defended, but he had shrunken into himself. "Hey, are you-"

He flicked his head up to you and yelled at you, “I don’t need saving!”

And with that, he stormed off, leaving you alone

You were caught off guard, but weren’t too upset. He had a point, he never asked you to step in

You were only trying to be nice.

Eventually, you found your way to homeroom

You walked up to the teacher and let him know you were the new student

He sat you all the way in the back

Next to Connor

You sat in the seat and began pulling out all your supplies needed for class

Class was pretty uneventful, but you tried your best to pay attention, it was your first day, after all.

In the middle of the lesson, you felt something hit you.

You looked down the piece of paper that had hit you and you looked in the direction it came from, seeing Connor staring out the window

You opened the paper ball and smiled softly at it,

“Thanks.”

You took a pen of a different ink color and wrote a response before you threw it behind you

You didn’t look at Connor, but you could hear the crinkling of the paper

Before it could make its way back to you, the bell rang. You packed up your belongings before standing up and turning around to face Connor who was awkwardly standing there with the paper ball

“How do you know my name? Did you learn it just to see me freak out? Just so you can see Connor Murphy go crazy? Just like everyone else?” He demanded, moving frantically.

You shook your head and held your hands up defensively, “No, no. I heard that jerk use it early, You don’t have to worry about though. I just want to be friends, I promise.”

He hesitated before a scowl rested on his face, “Liar.” He walked out of the class before you chased after him and grabbed his sleeve

He stopped and looked down at you in surprise, “You’re still following me? Why?”

“Because I want to be friends, Connor! How can I convince you I’m telling you the truth?

He grimaced at you before glancing away for a moment, “What’s your name?”

“Well, my name is Y/n, but you can-”

“Your new name is dork. Where’s your next class, dork?”

He took your schedule and looked over it

“Cool. I have this next class too. Wanna walk together?”

You nodded gratefully, smiling. “I would love that.”

You could’ve sworn he had a small smile on his face before he wiped his mouth and it was gone

Connor had walked with you to your next class and made sure to sit next to you and distract you the whole period with drama about everyone, and who they were.

“The asshole from earlier was Jared Kleinman. Truly a dickhead if I’ve ever seen one.”

“I agree. I’m so sorry about earlier. You don’t deserve that.” You placed a comforting hand on Connor’s and his hand darted away from yours. He averted his gaze and you retracted your hand

After a moment of quiet, “Is it always like this for you?

You were a little nervous for the answer

“Yeah.”

You had never felt so awful for another person in your life.

“Connor, I-”

“What is this about for you? Why are you being nice to me? You have no reason to be. It’s probably because I’m just the weird-”

You obviously weren’t getting through to him, and that wasn’t his fault. This boy was so damaged and it seemed he’d never been treated well

You did the first thing you could think of and you grabbed his hand and held it with both of your hands, causing him to stop speaking halfway through his sentence

He stopped speaking and accepted your touch, not knowing how else to react,

You stayed like that the rest of class, no more words being exchanging, only your touch on one another.

The bell had eventually rung and you two had let go to put away your things

Connor had waited for you, his hands by his sides as watched put your stuff away

You stood up and shyly held out your pinky for him to hook his onto

He shyly accepted and the two of you walked to your next class

You were so grateful to have the same schedule as Connor

You had two more classes before lunch, but after them, you happily pulled the tall boy with you to a table in the corner

You placed your stuff down and grabbed his hand once again, taking him in line with you

He kept his eyes on your hands, hyper focusing on that, pretending he didn’t hear the whispers about him and you.

You heard the whispers, but ignored them. You got your food after a while before turning to Connor, “Don’t listen to those assholes. They don’t know how sweet or awesome you are.”

He offered a smile before looking down sadly and sitting in his designated spot across from you

“No, they’re right. You shouldn’t be hanging out with me, I’m a fucking freak.”

You grabbed his hand and held it tightly, “You are not a freak, Connor. Please trust me when I tell you that.” You frowned

He gave you a look, his eyes were sad and yet he had a small smile on his face, “Thank you, Y/n.”

“Thought my new name was dork, Con?”

“Oh? Already moving to a nickname for me, dork?” He teased, causing you to roll your eyes and smile

For the entirety of lunch, the two of you got to know each other. Connor told you about the bullying and how bad it could get, and you listened attentively.

You squeezed his hand tight, “You are never alone, Con. Promise. I’m always here for you.” You swore, causing him to squeeze your hand tightly

Weeks later

You and Connor had become inseparable or the last few weeks, telling each other everything, always hanging out outside of school

The Murphy’s loved you, trying to have you over as much as possible

Though, sometimes it got a little overwhelming, so you and Connor would duck into his room, or back to your house

Your family loved Connor too, they wanted him over as much as possible.

Connor had told you and your family about how bad it could get over there sometimes, so your doors were always open to him

One day though, you weren’t feeling too great because of allergies, so you decided to stay home for the day.

You shot your best friend a text, ‘not feelin’ the best. staying home td. don’t miss me 2 much lol’

Connor didn’t answer, but you were pretty sure he saw the message.

An hour or so later, there was a sharp rap on the door and you ran to it, looking out the peephole

A jittery Connor stood outside the door and you swung it open, he flew into your arms almost knocking you over

You stumbled but gained your composure, rubbing his back as you held him as close as you could

“Woah, hey, what happened?” You asked the boy

He said nothing but pulled a folded up piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to you

You unfolded it and read it quickly, gasping in surprise at the fact that the letter stated how much Evan Hansen liked Zoe Murphy, Connor’s sister.

“He just printed it out to see me freak out. He just wanted to have an excuse to tell the world CONNOR MURPHY IS A FUCKING FREAK!”

You shook your head and held his face gently in your hands, causing him to freeze and look down at you “What are you-”

“Hey, I’ve got you. Listen to me, Con, I’m sure that wasn’t what he was trying to do. Had he been trying to talk to you while you were in there?”

He went silent for a moment, “I-well, no, but--”

You gave him a look saying, “See?”

He sighed heavily and buried his face in your neck,

“I was so scared, Y/n. I was going to do something awful.”

Your face paled and your heart rate sped up

He was getting better. You knew it.

But, this was a step in the right direction.

He trusted you enough to confide in you, so he did

“Connor...What were you going to do?”

And immediately after you asked, the tall boy crumpled into your arms, causing you to frown deeply and lead the two of you towards the couch

Connor told you explicitly how he planned to wait until his whole family was out to attempt, and you couldn’t help the tears that began to spill from your eyes.

“Con, no...” You sniffed and held him close

At first he didn’t reciprocate like normal

Of course he was wary of anyone’s touch, other than yours

But this felt different somehow

It felt like there was more weight to it.

Connor nervously wrapped his arms around you and finally returned the hug

“Connor, you mean the world to me, I can’t lose you, especially when I’ve only known you for such a short time. I can’t lose you ever.”

The words rung around Connor’s head like a bell and he couldn’t stop himself from acting on his impulses

He pulled you from his shoulder and cupped your face, kissing you deeply.

Shocked, you kissed him back, your arms flying around his neck

He suddenly pulled away after a few minutes, a look of concern welded on his face, “I’m so sorry, Y/n. Fuck! You probablly think I’m some fucking weirdo creep, just like-”

You laid a hand on his cheek and his little ramble ceased,

“What I actually think, is that it’s about time.”

Taglist:

@deatheater25 @lunamadhatter99 @shenevertricks1831 @frogssincorner

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