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shinsukeee · 1 year

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𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐢𝐱: 𝐂𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐖𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐬

"𝐈 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐬"

WARNING: THIS MAY BE UNCOMFORTABLE AND DISTURBING SO PLEASE EXIT IMMEDIATELY IF YOU AREN'T COMFORTABLE WITH THAT. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK ‼️

If it was one thing Prim liked being in Teyvat, it's to forget the pressure and façade she had to maintain back in the real world.

Always needing to prove something of herself, always needing to put her studies first, unable to enjoy her life to the point that her mother told her to enjoy her life but gets mad when she does.

She couldn't rest — she just can't, it would hinder what she has to do. What she has to prove of herself, just to be a trophy daughter. The perfect daughter, a doll made for show.

"Everyone's watching, don't show a single flaw"

"Always be kind, don't show them who you really are"

"If you show such behavior like that, they'll say 'Is this how her mother raised her?'. You wouldn't want to upset me, do you?"

Quiet, be quiet!

She always hated those voices in her head. Everywhere she goes, she must maintain a façade just so her mother would shut up. To always be the top, to always exceed the expectations. To always be a doll that never had a life of her own, always study, study, study, study, study.

She hated being called perfect, she hated hearing it so much. She isn't perfect, she's hideous, she's ugly, she has flaws, she's too flawed. Everything isn't what it seems.

The pressure of always being seen as the good girl, she hated it. Always being polite, always showing a gentle smile, so soft-spoken, so responsible.

i hate it, i hate it, i hate it, i hate it, i hate it

As she grew older, the more burn out she feels. She hated being sensitive to others emotions, she hated the fact that a crowded place can drain her no matter the many people there is. She hated feeling their emotions, being aware, sensitive and always needing to be cautious.

One small step that could ruin everything, like walking on a thread that if you make one small mistake, you fall into the endless pit of nothing but a void of emptiness.

And she hated it, knowing what she feels isn't anyone's anymore. That the person she told her sense of sensing others emotions called it all a lie when it's the truth.

'You never experienced what I went through'

What she always wanted to say if she could ever go back in time.

'I gained this all from trauma you didn't have, I gained all this pain from something you should be glad you never experienced for once in your childhood'

She hated it, she hated it when people think she's making shit up when she doesn't. It's all real, it's her vulnerability. Why are you calling it such bullshit?

'You had a happy childhood, something I never had. You were never abused, tormented and ruined for the sake of 'obedience', for the sake of 'teaching a child'.'

Prim wanted to cuss that all out to the girl she once loved, the girl she dedicated her whole time to, she loyally fell for, to the girl who didn't experience the abuse Prim went through.

It was all planned. It all was.

To wait until college for them to finally be official, but no, no, no, no. Things just had to take a turn.

Prim became herself, became expressive, her façades were no more, non-existent when it came to that girl.

So why? Why?!

Why did she think all those were lies?!

Why didn't she accept the way Prim behaved?!

That it isn't the good girl Prim?!

That this is who Prim is?!

'I don't know, I just felt like being lied to.'

BULLSHIT

LIED TO?!

YOU FELT FUCKING LIED TO?!

YOU CALL MY VULNERABILITY A LIE?!

WHERE THE ABSOLUTE FUCK IS THE LIE?!

WHERE?!

TELL ME.

TELL.

ME.

Prim's chest rise up and down quickly, in anger, in rage.

Prim always had anger issues she tried to control, to the point that no one can tell when she's angry.

Her anger appears and dies down quickly as if it never existed in the first place.

She was in the piano room again, it was midnight. She was alone.

She always struggled to sleep properly, especially in unfamiliar places despite living in Teyvat for almost a month now.

She had moved on, yes.

But her anger, all the words and explanations unsaid were haunting her again.

It wasn't easy to move on, it's like the stages of grief.

She accepted it, that she couldn't change what happened back in November.

But a part of her is angry for being mistreated like that, that she felt it. She felt the way the girl she liked was replying to her as if forced.

She knew and she hated it.

She thought everything went back to normal after their arguement, but no.

It just stayed downhill.

She felt herself struggling to breathe again, she immediately clutched the side of her head as she sits up and tries to steady her breathing.

"27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32..."

She mutters as she keeps counting to distract herself, to prevent her anxiety happening again.

It felt painful, each night during August that she kept having panic attacks for a week straight.

She hated it, she hated her own anxiety that can tear her down immediately even if she was prepared for it.

"40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45..."

She counted again, and again and again before unknowingly sitting down and playing the piano.

Her favorite that could hurt her so much.

Duet from Omori.

Her fingers glided through the piano as she starts to play, the melody calming her down immediately as she continues to play.

She memorized Mari's part in that duet, she loved hearing it over and over again. It would never bore her, it would just comfort her.

As she continues to olay, she hears her mind play Sunny's violin, she smiles unconsciously and continues playing. Relaxing as she closes her eyes and lets herself be at peace.

The mansion was empty, but it was filled by the beautiful melody against these closed walls.

Prim liked being alone most of the time, it was to get away from all her responsibilities but she hated the hidden vulnerability in it. Ready to attack her at any times she lets her guard down, that's why she often isolates herself. She wants to be herself, to feel what she feels.

Not being wary of someone's emotions, not feeling what others feel. It's frustrating, knowing what you feel isn't yours.

but with music, it helps her. It eases her.

Diluc and Kaeya enter the mansion, the maids are in Vacation as Diluc had requested for thanking them for always taking care of this place, they immediately hear the melodious tune getting faster and faster.

"I didn't expect her grace to be awake at this hour"

Kaeya says, talking smoothly that would make anyone swoon while Diluc sighs.

Must've been her insomnia again

They head to where the source of the sound is and spot Prim in her nightgown and cardigan, clearly in her sleepwear as her hair is covering her face as she continues to play.

Kaeya remembered the first time he saw her play, it was beautiful yet sad.

And this one, this one hits harder yet he doesn't know why.

No words were sung in the air, yet why did it feel so...painful to listen to?

They waited until Prim finished playing before Kaeya clapped and caused Prim to flinch.

"Anak ng putang—"

They raised a brow but Kaeya spoke.

"That was a wonderful performance, Your Grace."

They hear her mutter something before they can finally get a glance of her face.

"Kaeya, Diluc. Done for the day?"

"Not Diluc though"

"Oh quit it, Kaeya"

Both of them take Prim's each hand and kiss the back of it, Prim is used to their gesture but she can't help but malfunction each time.

"It's late, Your Grace. Shouldn't you be sleeping?"

Kaeya smoothly asks, his tone already sounds worried as he places a hand on Prim's waist.

"Ah, yeah. I just...needed to relax"

Prim said, avoiding the reason which is about her anxiety.

"I see, well, now that we're here. Why don't we all do a cuddle pile? We haven't done one for weeks"

Prim hummed softly as if agreeing to the plan while Diluc sighs.

"I have matters to attend to"

"Well, the offer still stands, 'Luc~"

Prim tells Diluc to be safe which he nods as he leaves while Kaeya looks at Prim and carries her like a princess.

boy, what the absolute fUCK—

"Kaeya?!"

Prim's arms wrapped around his neck as Kaeya grins.

"Come on, can't I cuddle with my lovely creator~?"

Prim softly sighs as Kaeya carries her to her room and they cuddle in bed, despite Kaeya's cold vision, Prim seemed to like the coldness radiate from his body.

No words were spoken, only gestures. They both held each other as if they were afraid the other would disappear into thin air and it grounded them.

"Goodnight, Your Grace."

"Goodnight, Kaeya"

And it ended in a happy note el oh el 💀 sorry if it was too disturbing at first, I hope you enjoyed reading (?)

#genshin impact sagau #genshin self aware au #diluc ragnvindr #genshin impact #genshin impact kaeya #genshin x creator reader #genshin x oc #you will be found #Spotify

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shinsukeee · 1 year

Text

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝

"𝐎𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐰𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐰𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞"

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐅𝐢𝐯𝐞: 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

Warning: some may be ooc and this is longer than the rest ajdjwanwkwkwkw. Enjoy!

"The Day of the Festival"

Kaeya says before looking at Prim.

"Are you ready, my lady?"

He asks softly as Prim is trying to stop her shaking hands, admiring Prim's outfit.

"Don't remind her, she knows"

Diluc says as he comes downstairs, wearing something that nearly made Prim choke. (She likes seeing hot men/pretty boys in suits, it's her weakness. You're welcome ;D)

Kaeya smirks.

"Oh? But isn't it better to remind her?"

Prim screams mentally.

I forgot I'm surrounded by pretty men hnghhhh

She then notices Kaeya's outfit.

oh have mercy—

"—you ready, your grace?"

Diluc asks as he lends a hand out to Prim.

"m-mhm..."

FUCK THEY'RE SO HOT HNGHHH

She gently places her gloved hand on top of Diluc's before Kaeya snatches her other hand and they walk to the carriage.

"I must say, it's a new sight to behold, seeing you all dressed so formally."

Kaeya says as he eyes Prim, causing Diluc to smack the back of his head.

"Be respectful"

Diluc mutters as Prim's shaking hands are rubbing each other, the two notice it once more.

She can't calm down

They take her hands and gently squeeze it, causing Prim to squeak at the sudden cold and warm feeling.

"Calm down, if anything happens. We're here to make sure it'll go well"

Diluc says as Prim nods.

"Sorry, I just—um, don't do well when I know there's a crowded place."

Prim says as she mutters something under her breath as Kaeya perks up.

"We could reduce the citizens, your—"

"No, no, no, no, no. I don't wanna break their hearts, haha—"

Prim says as the two sigh.

"If the crowd's too overwhelming, look for one of us and we'll escort you away"

"Thank you"

"Anytime, Your Grace"

- - - - - >

While everyone's preparing the small stage, Prim gets taken aback by the dandelions near her.

Ah...

She gently reaches out to it before her heart aches.

I guess...this'll be my closure to you

She closes her eyes.

I hope you'll find happiness whether I'm there or not, I hope we'll both be happy and move on. You became a part of my chapter, it's time to flip the page. May we both find happiness and love, and be happy that the other is happy no matter what. No more hard feelings or malice, just pure joy.

She softly blows the dandelion, watching it fly to the air before walking away. A certain bard seems to have felt what had flown to the air.

"Your Grace, this is Venti. The bard that'll play—"

"and Barbatos, the Anemo Archon"

"A-Ah, yes..."

Jean stutters, wondering how Prim knew but dared not to question it as Venti grins.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Your Grace!"

Prim smiles softly.

"Likewise."

Venti takes Prim away while Diluc is staring at them, Kaeya chuckles and tells Diluc to relax.

"So, I felt the wind flow a bit differently today~"

Venti says as he picks up flowers for Prim who's sitting on a rock and watching him.

"Ah, so you felt it."

Was all Prim said, smiling softly. Venti's gaze softens at the sight of Prim being surrounded by crystal flies and her smile didn't have pain in it anymore.

She's letting go, that song will be her closure.

He softly smiles before weaving a flower crown for Prim who's preoccupied with the crystal flies.

"You know...the first time I felt your presence, I didn't know who it was at first. I was taken aback actually!"

Venti says as he continues weaving flower crowns, Prim watches his fingers do the weaving.

Ah, he weaves like how my cousin taught me...

"But you know, after seeing you help the Traveler, help the nations and went through all that...I can't help but feel grateful to you, for...for everything"

Venti says, Prim hums as she gently tucks a cecilia on Venti's ear.

"I'm glad you did the right thing, Barbatos. Whether you were a whisp or not, I'm just glad it's you."

She softly says as she kisses the top of his head, Venti gently holds her wrists before looking at her.

"You mean it?"

"I do. I know you hold the guilt of...all that, and I know. You don't have to say anything, but I'll always be proud of you. Whether you're a bard or an Archon, I'll cherish what you did for this nation."

Prim says softly as Venti gently places the flower crown on top of her head before hugging her gently.

"Thank you, Your Grace."

He says softly, pulling her close before they hear someone clear their throat.

"I'm afraid we have to cut that moment short, it's starting"

Albedo says as Prim gently pulls away from the hug and accepts Albedo's arm to hook her hand with, Venti lets out a small 'ehe' before following them.

"Your Grace, the program's starting already so you needn't be worried about missing out"

He says as Prim softly smiles, Venti watches her smile and his heart feels warm. He knew what that smile meant, the first time he saw her, he saw how her eyes held something he's afraid of asking. Yet the moment the dandelion was blown onto the wind, he knew that what that was is now in the past as she continues on in her journey.

After a while of the games and activities for the children and adults alike, it was time for the intermission as food is being served.

Prim nervously grabs her ukulele and walks up to the stage as she sits on the chair, with the help of Kaeya lifting her up so her skirt wouldn't ride up as he places a shawl on her lap so she wouldn't be uncomfortable with the dress's skirt, she clears her throat as she feels the nervousness settle in.

It's not your first time, it's okay.

There's people here who support you.

Whatever happens in this intermission, you just enjoy it.

Prim takes a deep breath before strumming her ukulele, Venti uses a little wind manipulation for everyone to hear the instrument being played and Prim's voice to be heard.

"Maybe it's the way you say my name"

Prim notices her hands shaking as she progresses from chord to chord but she ignores it.

"Maybe it's the way you play your game"

She remembers it all again, with this song was the one she always hesitated to play, the song that'll bring back unwanted memories.

"But it's so good, I've never known anybody like you...but it's so good, I've never dreamed of nobody like you"

She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes.

"And I've heard of a love that comes once in a lifetime, and I'm pretty sure that you are that love of mine...'cause"

Her mind is at ease now, the pain slowly stops gnawing her heart. And slowly, she finds it nice, that the pain is slowly leaving. That the closure she always wanted to get is finally settling in.

"I'm in a field of dandelions, wishing on every one that you'll be mine, mine and I see forever in your eyes, I feel okay when I see your smile, smile"

Out of everyone else, only Venti knew what it meant. Whether it was the wind that told him or the song, he's happy she's finally getting what she always wanted. To be able to accept something she knew she couldn't change even if she tried, to be able to finally leave a chapter in her story to move on from the past.

"Wishing on dandelions all of the time, praying to God that one day you'll be mine, wishing on dandelions all of the time, all of the time~"

- - - - >

They're now in Angel's Share, well, drinking except for Prim.

"You did amazing out there, Your Grace. You sound like a siren back there"

Kaeya says as he takes his shot of the alcoholic beverage as Prim drinks her fruit juice.

"Oh, Thank you..."

Prim says softly as her hands are still shaking from the performance, Venti of course is letting loose and drinking. Not that Prim minded.

"I do apologize for letting you see this side of them, Your Grace."

Diluc says as he continues to serve the drinks, making sure Prim still has the fruit juice beverage and not alcohol.

"It's okay, 'Luc. I'm used to handling drunkards so this sight is nothing new to me"

Prim says softly as she thanks him for pouring her glass more fruit juice, this statement makes Kaeya perk up.

"Oh? You know how to handle drunkards?"

He leans his cheek on his palm as he stares at Prim who's drinking her fruit juice.

"Hm? Yeah, I know how."

It was summer of May

Prim says in her head as she does an anime sweatdrop before Kaeya comes closer to her and Diluc had to grab the back of his collar.

"So you've seen all the worst of a drunk person?"

"Technically, yes. Even the most calmest and rational person I know was...just a surprising person when drunk"

Prim held back her laughter as she remember her one cousin who got drunk the first time, started saying things over and over again, did jumping jacks, danced weird and screamed Olivia Rodrigo's and Taylor Swift's songs at 5am, all in one night.

Kaeya smiles at Prim.

"Then you knew that some are veryy~ clingy when drunk, hm?"

Diluc groans, Kaeya's drunk flirting again as Prim didn't seem to mind it.

"Yeah, I've had someone...cling unto me when I said I'll go check on the others drunkards who went outside, had to reassure her I wouldn't leave her there."

She says, never forgetting the fact her cousin suddenly latched onto her when Prim grabbed her coat and said that she'll check on her older brother who left to go to the other house where they stay in, it was tough having someone be a clingy drunk get off you but Prim did it gently and kindly, knowing the alcohol is taking effect and was patient enough to tolerate it.

Her?

Was all that went through their minds before Kaeya got the chance to speak, Prim got up from her seat.

"I need to use the bathroom, where is it?"

Diluc escorts her to where the bathroom is like the gentleman he is.

"You know, I actually want to see her grace drunk"

Venti says as he's trying to get Albedo drunk but to no avail, Rosaria takes a sip from her glass.

"And you think it's a good idea?"

"Why not give it a shot! Who knows? She might actually be a clingy drunk, ehe~!"

Diluc comes back as Prim had now used the bathroom, he eyes Venti and Kaeya suspiciously as Rosaria continues to drink quietly, used to the antics of her two drinking buddies.

"I'm back, what did I miss?"

Prim softly asks as Albedo gently places his hands on her waist before lifting her up on the chair, knowing how Prim struggles on stools when wearing a dress and skirt.

"Thank you, Albedo"

She softly says as Albedo nods and kisses the back of her hand before heading back to his seat, which of course Venti starts to say he did that just to touch Prim.

All of a sudden, the three drinking buddies are quiet as Prim takes a sip of her fruit juice.

"Hm? What's gotten you all so quiet?"

Prim softly asks as she continues to sip, Kaeya shakes her head before drinking more wine and Venti follows through.

Three hours have passed, Prim decides to bring Kaeya home since he's too wasted.

"Your Grace, you don't feel dizzy or anything?"

Rosaria asks all of a sudden.

Hot cryo mommy hngh—

Prim internally has a bi panic before smiling at Rosaria on the outside.

"Oh, I'm fine! Don't worry, I'll just bring Kaeya home so he can sober up easily."

Prim slings Kaeya's arm on her shoulder, her hand on his waist as she waves to the others goodbye before escorting Kaeya back home, to Dawn Winery.

As they leave the Tavern, Diluc cleans the glasses.

"You put alcohol in her drink, didn't you?"

Diluc asks as he glares down at Venti who lets out a small 'ehe' and looks away.

"What do you mean? Of course I did not~!"

Diluc sighs before Albedo speaks up.

"He did actually, almost emptied half a bottle for that."

"Half a bott—"

Diluc feels a headache come in.

"I'm closing the tavern."

What if Her Grace gets in trouble? She could've passed out!

- - - - dawn winery - - - -

Prim sighs as Kaeya's finally on his bed, she then helps him take off his shoes and all.

"Kaeya, take a bath. You need to sober up"

She softly pats his cheek as he sits up and does what she said, Prim feels her mind get hazy so she quietly and carefully walks to her room.

That's weird, it felt like that time I accidentally drank real wine and got myself tipsy...

Prim takes a bath in her room to feel the alcohol go away.

A few hours later, Diluc enters the Winery and quickly knocks on Prim's door.

"Your Grace?"

He softly calls out as Prim opens her door, in her nightwear and her hair more free.

"Diluc? Welcome back, are you going for your Darknight Hero duties?"

"I just finished."

"I see..."

"Do you...feel tipsy perhaps?"

He hesitantly asks as Prim hums.

"Well, I felt like my mind was hazy but I'm still conscious so I took a bath to sober up. Hm, it was as if that time I did get a bit tipsy because my mom lied about the wine not having alcohol..."

Prim mumbles and Diluc perks up at that.

"Your Grace, are you sure you aren't drunk?"

"Hm? Well no. If I were drunk, I probably would've stumbled and slurred my words. Also, don't worry, it's not the first time I got tipsy"

That's not the point!

Diluc screams in his head as he gently cups Prim's cheeks.

"Diluc?"

She looks at him.

Holy shit, his hands are warm

"Your Grace, are you sure you aren't drunk?"

"Of course! Kaeya's worse though."

He sighs softly before nodding.

"Alright, I'll let you have your sleep now. Goodnight, Your Grace."

"Goodnight, Diluc"

#genshin impact sagau #genshin self aware au #diluc ragnvindr #genshin impact #genshin impact kaeya #genshin x creator reader #genshin x oc #you will be found #albedo kreideprinz #venti genshin impact #barbatos genshin impact

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