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asmosmainhoe · 5 months

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MC draws the brothers

im kinda shy to ask this but, can u make artist!mc drawing brothers and others and them reacting to it?(*´-`)

- @maiitski

Note: This was incredibly fun to write! I also only did the brothers, because I don't write for more than 7 characters in one post

Gender: neutral

Warnings: heavy language

Lucifer

You often draw him when he's working, because then he's absolutely still for hours

At first he doesn't exactly know what you're doing over there with your notebook. The first guess is some kind of study and you're simply looking for some peace and quiet to focus

Once he's done with the mountain of paperwork he walks over to you and glances over your shoulder

Oh wow. The portrait you drew of him looks fantastic and he nods proudly until he notices some special details

"Why are the spots under my eyes so dark?"

"Well, you've been working for hours now."

"I see..my hair looks so disheveled as well."

"You just really need some rest."

A portrait falls out of your notebook when you leave the room and he quickly hides it in one of his drawers. There is no way he won't treasure your hard work

Mammon

To say that it's difficult to draw a picture of the greedy demon is a complete understatement since he's in constant movements

The only time you catch him truly sitting still is when he's counting money after a long day of casino activities

"Look at what I won, MC! Hey, you're not even listenin'!"

"Sorry, Mammon. I didn't notice that you talked to me."

"What are ya doin' anyways, huh?"

His voice gets caught in his throat and he starts coughing violently. Partly to hide his embarrassment

"It l-looks pretty cool."

Translation: THIS IS THE MOST AMAZING THING HE HAS EVER SEEN

"I can get rid of it if you want me to."

"Are ya mad?! You can't just destroy a picture of the great Mammon! Give that to me."

Leviathan

By now it's routine for you to chill in his room to watch him play in the evening, but sometimes it does get a bit boring. Especially when he's playing a game that isn't your cup of tea

So you take out your notebook and start drawing whatever comes to your mind. This time it happens to be the envious third born

But you can't satisfy yourself with a normal portrait, no. You decide to draw him as if he's a character from the game he's currently obsessing over and proudly show him your work once you're done

You can watch Levi's soul leave his body in real time once he realizes that out of all the cool things in his room you drew him

"I-I can't believe you drew me! Me! It looks so good too! MC, I've got to have this! Please!"

I can see him roll around the room crying and screaming if you refuse to hand over the drawing

Satan

Once he loses himself in a book he turns into a freaking statue

Of course he has seen your drawings before and he absolutely adores them. There are several cat pictures from you hanging on his walls

But seeing you put his own features onto paper is a whole other thing

You manage to make him blush a little and chuckle in embarrassment as he inspects your work

"You're extremely talented. It almost looks real."

As Satan inspects your portrait an idea comes to his mind and a mischievous grin forms on his lips

"Do you perhaps take requests? I'd love for you to draw me tower over Lucifer. Preferably him cowering on the ground while I step on him."

"You know exactly that he will kill me if I do that."

"Oh, well. It was worth a shot."

Asmodeus

DRAW HIM LIKE ONE OF YOUR FRENCH DEMONS

Please, the moment he notices that you're drawing him he's going to strike poses left and right

"Let me fix the light real quick! Oh, I how do I look? Is my hair sitting correctly? Oh, why am I even asking? Of course it does!"

It's not the first time that someone either draws him or takes a picture of him, but with you it's special

Now you have to show him your entire notebook! He has to know if there are more portraits of him!

And there are. Most of them are him in an absolutely relaxed position and often times when he's not dolled up at all

"Why didn't you tell me? I would have gotten ready!"

"You looked the most beautiful in these moments. I didn't wanna disturb them- are you crying?"

"No! OF COURSE I AM!"

Beelzebub

Please, to him you're the most talented artist he has ever seen! And he doesn't hold back with that thought!

One time you drew food just for fun and he ate the entire paper, because it looked way too good. You have to admit that that's quite the high compliment

And Beel has such beautiful and drawable features so how couldn't you put that on a piece of paper?

"Can I see what you're doing?"

The hungry demon gets to lost in it that he's just silent for a very long time. It gets to a point where you worried that he might not like it

"I can throw it away if you want to."

"No, why? I love it."

He never really realized how good he looks until now

"Can I keep it?"

Belphegor

Our sleeping beauty over here is perfect to draw considering he sleeps so still that one might think he actually died

One time you don't even notice that he woke up from his nap and is wondering what you're so focused on

It's only when he leans over to get a peak inside your notebook. You quickly hide the drawings of him, but it's too late for that now. The damage is done and you brace yourself for his teasing

"Wow, you must really like me."

"Shut up."

"This is some Levi-level simping."

"I SAID SHUT UP!"

You guys wrestle over the notebook for a little while until he grows tired of it and lays down again with a yawn

"Fine. Keep your secrets. Your notebook is probably full with my face anyways."

"No."

"Next thing I will find out is that you have a shrine dedicated to me."

"You're such an ass."

"But a pretty one."

---

Masterlist

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lvvcian · 9 months

Note

hello!! :D this is my first request ever so im sorry if i worded it or did it wrong. also english is not my first language so im sorry if this makes no sense.

i have a request for The disastrous life of saiki k with a romantic saiki x reader(gender neutral) pairing.

Heres my idea! so aiura and toritsuka start seeing some girl constantly following saiki during school and aiura and toritsuka are like “😨⁉️ lets help him get away from this stalker!” so aiura and toritsuka start doing dumb goofy stuff to sabotage the reader from following saiki and in the end it is revealed that saiki and the reader are dating so reader and saiki have been talking telepathically so it just LOOKS like the reader has been tailing saiki. so yea basically crack fic💀

maybe as a little bonus you could include some fluff between saiki and reader<3

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☆ aaah the famous trio <3 also first Saiki fic, very happy about it c:

☆ I AM SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG :'C it's 1:33am here, so I'm sorry if the ending is shitty , no energy fr but wanted to finish this today ":/

☆ (tw! slight bulling and not cool jokes ; swearing) ; gender neutral reader , fluff, crack fic ; Saiki has longer hair in here! Just a lil bit :)

☆ saiki talking normally ; saiki speaking in your mind ; your thoughts

☆ enjoy <3

"Do you think we should tell some people about... y'know" You looked up at Saiki. It was a normal sunday and you two were supposed to have a so called 'date' (which was sitting in comfortable silence at some cafe and enjoying each others company). But the weather had some other plans and once you stepped outside it started to rain. Of course Saiki could've change it in matter of seconds but he suggested to stay at home. They were too many people from his school on the mainstreet anyway.

"And draw attention to ourselves? Definitly not. We just have to keep the distance between us for school time ..." Saiki looked down at you. Who would've thought that Saiki out of all people would be the first to have a partner. "Enjoy while you can... I'll teleport you on the roof if you hug me at school..." you just giggled and snuggled up closer into his chest.

It couldn't be that bad... right?

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Monday mornings weren't your favourite, at all. Shitty weather, cold shower and not so great breakfast. It was all making you fell even worse then you felt already.

It wasn't something natural for you to wake up in the middle of the night, but today your body felt extremely stressed. Something didn't let you sleep, your thoughts were going miles per hour and you could feel your whole body getting colder with every second (which was weird 'cause the temperature in the room was pretty high).

So you got up, rolled yourself in a blanket and went to close your window hoping it would get at least warmer, but as you walked up to it and started opening it...

"Holy shit..!" You backed away from the wall and fell on your back. There's was something standing right outside your window. It was horrible, like a ghost or a monster. It didn't matter at that time, you quickly run up to to window again and looked around your backyard.

There wasn't a single soul, just a stray cat walking around. You sat down on the floor and hold your face trying to calm yourself down.

After few minutes you were finally feeling better and decided to go back to sleep. At least try.

You were near PK Academy when you saw your lovely psychic and two other people. If you remember correctly one was a medium and the other... fortune teller?

"Its... Aiura and Toritsuka if I'm not mistaken. Should I say hi? Or just-"

"Don't do anything. They're already being very suspicious of you. Just walk past us as normal as you can. I'll meet with you at lunch." It wasn't something new for you to hear Saiki in your head. You didn't know why he was communicating like that, but you accepted it after a while.

"Sure, see you later then. I love you!" you saw Saiki close his eyes and shake his head a little, but you could see a faint smile forming on his lips

Giggling you walked past the trio with a small smile and went inside the building. Quickly you changed your shoes for school ones and headed to your classroom. You greeted some people on the way, saying 'hi' or just nodding at them.

Soon you saw Saiki entering the room too with Aiura. He looked at you, gave you a soft and quick smile and sat not far away from you.

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Around 2pm lunch break started. Saiki immediatly left the classroom, avoiding his friends and went to your meeting spot, which was next to vending machines near the caffeteria.

As he got there, you were nowhere to be seen. He saw you packing your things and leaving right after him so he thought you would be there in few seconds.

Few seconds turned into few minutes and then into half of the break.

"Where are they... they couldn't forget about it, right?" Saiki checked his phone for second time, scrolling through your messages and refreshing them. Even if you'd be late he would got a text about it, but there was nothing.

He tried to focus on your thoughts, but it was immposible with so many people around. He sighed at went to bathroom, locked himself in one of the cabins and used his 'crossed eye thingy' as you called it.

"What...?" He got up and teleported to you, making sure no one was around. You were sitting on the ground, all wet and cold, in one of the hallways. Your clothes were all soaked which made you shiver and Saiki knew you'd be sick in few days.

"What happened? Why are you sitting here all wet?" He said and kneeled next to you as he took your face in his hands, holding it gently. "Are you... crying?" He asked, but your lack of answer told him everything. He took your hand, helped you get up and brushed off some of wet hair from your face.

He held you tightly as he teleported you to your room. Saiki went to your wardrobe, grabbed some dry clothes and a towel and then went back to you. He started to gently dry your hair and your cheeks from tears. You were looking everywhere but not him, which made him worried.

"y/n, what is it? What happened, please tell me." He kneeled down and looked at you with soft gaze. You looked away and closed your eyes.

"I went to get some documents for teacher... I forgot to tell you about it. I-I don't know how... some stupid bucket of water was on the door to the class." Saiki noded and rubbed your back as he sat next to you. He thought for a second and shook his head.

"Just... stay here, ok? I'll go make you some tea" Saiki got up and went to the kitchen. He didn't care about school right now, he would deal with that later.

Day passed with sometimes even worse 'jokes' and incidents. Sometimes it was missing shoes, sometimes weird notes. At night you felt this weird feeling of being watched as cold air got into your house. You woke up with cold sweat on your face from nightmares and night terrors.

Saiki heard about everything, comforting you day after day. He didn't know why it happened, weirdly he couldn't find any person with thoughts of making another prank to you. It pissed him off a lot.

"I'm staying at home for few days... you can come meet me after classes." You said to Saiki as you covered yourself under the blankets. The temperature in your house was incredibly low which made you wear your warmest hoodie and cuddle into the softest and thickest blanket at your place.

"I'll be there soon..." Saiki answered. His voice was cold , but you could swear you heard some concern in it. You chuckled and buried yourself in the blanket.

Saiki was getting closer to the bathroom, making sure no one followed him or saw him. He could become invisible, but that would take too much time.

As he went inside one of the cabins, he took out his phone and checked his messages. There were few of yours, he could tell you were really bored, one from his mom and one from Aiura.

"Aiura? What does she want now...?" Saiki opened the chat, read the message and sighed. She wanted him to help out with something. "Good grief, right now?" He grumbled while texting you that he would be later.

Future teller told him to come behind the school. He got there and looked at her with bored eyes. It was a really pain in the neck to help with some irrelevant things...

"What is it?" He said with neutral and cold tone.

"Oh! Finally you're here! We need some help to... hang something." She said as she looked up.

"We?" Pink haired boy asked, quickly realising who was the other person. He rolled his eyes annoyed. He should be there with you by now... but no, he's stuck with two idiots behind the school. "Nevermind... I don't care, it's your problem."

He started walking away, not listening to Aiuras pleading and some offers (although they did grab his interests for a second or two). He shook his head and was already next to school corner.

"Saiki it's for your good! We're doing this to help you!" Kusuo heard another, not really pleasant, voice from above. "We've seen someone smiling and looking at you all the time! It's giving a creep vibe, you know?"

Toritsuka looked at Saiki from the top of the rooftop. Psychic stopped walking and looked at them both with confused look. "Stalking? What are you talking about..?"

"You didn't see it? There's this one creep whose staring at you in every class! They smile randomly when looking at you and sometimes even blushing! It's just... Ew!" auira said as she got closer to saiki. He frowned a little.

"Me and Mikoto have been making some pranks from time to time. One time we've scared them at night! I asked some ghost for help and spooked them!" Toritsuka chuckled, remembering the look on your scared face.

Saiki didn't say anything, he only grabbed his friends by the shoulders harshly and teleported them to your place.

"O-Oi Saiki! What are you doing man?" He didn't answer, only knocked gently on your door. He could've teleported directly to your room, but he didn't want to scare you with... his nuisances.

You jumped a little as you heard soft knocking.

"Probably saiki." You got up, still cuddled up in a blanket and went to the door. "Finally you-" You cut your sentence as you saw your boyfriend holding his two friends by their shoulders tightly. " Kusuo why are your friends with you?"

He didn't say anything, just got inside your place and leading his friends to the living room. You didn't know what was going on at.all. Saiki never brought his friends. Even Kaidou or Nendou which were much closer to saiki then Aiura.

you walked behind the three of them. Saiki dropped them near the couch and looked at it. You sat down and started asking questions.

"What's going on? Is everything alright? You could've told me you were bringing your friends, I would prep-"

"They're here to apologize to you." His friends looked at him surprised. Saiki sounded like it was an obvious intention.

"Apologize? Saiki, this person was-"

"They're my partner. We've been together for... some time now." Saiki said, looking away. He thought this 'announcement' would look different. Well he didn't thought about those two..

"Partner? Saiki actually pulled someone?" Toritsuka said, but he got quiet right after his head was hit with one of the cans from the table. "What?! You never told us about having someone! How could we know!" Toritsuka said rubbing his head.

"R-Right! We thought it was some kind of stalker or a creep...!" Aiura wad explaining their motives to Saiki and you thought about all the stuff that happened 'cause of them.

"Saiki it's alright, they didn't know. Maybe you should let go." Even tho you wanted to see what kind of punishment those two would get, you couldn't bring yourself to. Damn your good nature and big heart.

Your boyfriend looked at you and sighed. He loosened his grip and let his friends go. Saiki didn't expect that to happen. He really wanted to send Aiura and Toritsuka on deserted island and leave them for few days. But that would be against his principals... unfortunately.

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"I told you we should have said something..."

It was pretty late when you and Saiki cuddled together on his bed. The night was peaceful with clear sky and bright moon. It was nice and warm, even if it was middle of February.

You had your head on saikis chest as he played with your hair. He had his eye closed, resting them a little. His pink bangs fell on his glasses covering his nose and tickling his cheeks. He looked peaceful and relaxed. Finally after a week he wore his ring so there was no thought in his head. No annoying ideas, thoughts or questions. Only silence.

"Yeah... sorry I didn't know sooner.." Saiki looked at you with soft look. His eyes were half closed and his face was decorated with gentle smile. Kusuo being the 'tusndere' he is doesn't really smile often, but when he does toy cherish those few seconds. "Could've stopped them and prevent this whole thing..."

"Don't be, at least they know now." You looked up and placed few kisses on his jaw and face. He hummed in response, closing his eyes and breathing deeply. "Thank you for looking out for me.." You said as you finally planted last kiss on his lips.

"Always..." he smiled and cuddled you closer to him. He made the lights turn off and closed the curtains. You were finally able to have a peaceful and good night sleep and he would be damned if Saiki didn't try making it even better for you.

"I love you.."

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reblogs are very much appreciated<33 thank you for reading ☆

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moonyswritinq · 1 year

Text

losing you — obi-wan kenobi x gn reader

❝ LOSING YOU ❞

SYNOPSIS➢You could never resist saying no to Obi-Wan Kenobi when he needed your help. It led to a capture by the Sith, and a near death. A daring escape, a battle of hearts and good and evil, and a climax of feelings could hopefully reveal the truth within your hearts.

PAIRING ➢ obi-wan kenobi x gender neutral reader

AU ➢ friends/rivals to lovers

CONTENT WARNING ➢ swearing, sexual tension, angst, mutual pining, hurt/comfort, depictions of fighting, battling, canon-typical violence, side character deaths, sort of protective Obi-Wan

WORD COUNT ➢ 4.5 k

AUTHORS NOTE ➢ i started writing this so long ago, and am now so sick of it that i hate it with my entire being. i missed posting anything for May the Fourth, so consider this my meagre contribution. hope you still enjoy!

MASTERLIST

The thousands of voices that filled your ears and the sharp glare from the sun against your closed eyelids were the first things you noticed. Slowly, you opened your eyes and took in your surroundings. You were in the middle of an arena with hundreds of foul creatures in the stands, cheering and throwing taunts when they noticed you were awake.

You tried to look further, but as soon as you moved your head a sudden sharp pain shot through it, making you wince. You didn’t remember getting a blow to the head, which meant it was probably a pretty bad one. As you stood tied to the pole with chains against your wrists, you watched a few guards drag a figure between them. They tied it to the pole next to you, and left it slumped against the ground.

That’s when you remembered.

The fight. A lightsaber. Obi-Wan fucking Kenobi.

You two had been ambushed by the very targets he’d been hunting, and you only got caught up in the crossfire because he had asked for your help. He hadn’t needed you, and you didn’t have to accept, but something compelled you to and now you were stuck in this mess. If only you were smart enough to be able to walk away.

Unfortunately, Obi-Wan was your weakness.

You watched his unconscious figure lean against the poll, and you couldn't help but let your eyes trail over him. They jumped from the way his strong hands hung in the handcuffs (something you definitely had thought of before, just in a different situation) to the way the sun hit his smooth skin and highlighted his cheekbones. You watched his muscular chest rise and fall steadily with every breath, and how his golden hair seemed to shine even brighter. You even let your gaze travel even more south, but it quickly jumped up again from the guilt.

You blinked and redirected your gaze before his force, or magic—something—somehow notice your staring, but it was already too late. Obi-Wan grimaced as he opened his eyes, licking his lips and clearing his throat. The dry desert air did nothing but evil to your lungs.

Finally, he looked over at you and said, “I know I’m handsome, darling, but there may be a time and place for that.”

Your eyes immediately moved to his and you found him smirking smugly at you, which you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at.

“Oh, please, you wish I was admiring you, Kenobi. I was just wondering how the hell I should get back at you.” Every word from your tongue was drenched with faux venom.

Obi-Wan lifted an eyebrow. “Oh, really? And what might I have done to upset you this time?”

You laughed humourlessly at his words, gesturing around the both of you. “Is your skull really that thick? I’m stuck here because of you.”

He looked at you sceptically. “Me? Weren’t you supposed to be the look out and keep an eye on my back?”

“No, well—yes, but it wasn’t my fault.” If you had to be honest, you had been distracted by him. Obi-Wan had sat and talked with you, always being his charming self. So, really, it was his fault you hadn’t noticed the ambush. “You dragged me into this in the first place.”

He shook his head with a smile and tried to stand up straighter. “If I remember correctly—“

“You probably don’t, you took a pretty ugly blow to the head,” you interrupted. He fixed you with a pointed look, but it only made you more amused.

“—you weren’t forced to come with. You wanted to be with me.”

You grimaced at his choice of words, but were determined not to let him in on your feelings.

“And if I remember correctly, you begged me. So technically, you wanted to be with me.”

His smile told you he was enjoying this just as much as you were, and had no plans on stopping. “Oh, you know me so well, darling. I always want to be with you.”

“Exactly what I wanted to hear,” you smirked.

Even though you loved the words coming from his mouth, they were filled with the same sarcastic venom as yours. If you had to be honest with yourself, it hurt. You tried to ignore the feeling when your eyes moved to a movement in the further end of the arena. Two convoys were starting to move towards you and Obi-Wan, with two people inside of them. Obi-Wan straightened when they were within earshot.

“I was beginning to wonder if you’d got my message,” he said.

A younger man and woman was being led out by guards and you could see the boy was also a Jedi, but one in training, from the robes he wore to the braid in his hair.

“I retransmitted it,” he said, “just as you requested, Master.” The couple were being tied to a pole each, the same way you were tied. “Then we decided to come rescue you.”

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes as the corners of his lips tugged into half a smile. “Good job.”

You almost laughed at his sarcasm and managed to let out a snort instead. That was the first time the man seemed to have noticed you. His eyes studied you from top to bottom and then turned to Obi-Wan.

“Who is this you are with, Master?” he questioned.

Obi-Wan glanced at you, sending you a quiet question. Who were you to him?

“They—“ he began.

You interrupted him before he could finish. You were dreading to hear the words ‘they’re just my friend’, even though you knew you could never be anything more.

“I’m his amazing partner,” you smiled. “The one who always gets him out of these messes.”

The man raised an eyebrow and glanced at his Master. “Really?” he asked.

Obi-Wan threw you a pointed look. “No, I’m the one who always gets you out of messes, not the other way around,” he said. “If you had just done your job and kept a lookout we wouldn’t be here.”

You feigned offence at his remark. “Excuse you, you were the one distracting me, which means it was really all your fault,” you said.

“So you do admit I am a distraction to you, darling?” Obi-Wan smiled smugly.

You choked on your words and felt your cheeks burn. You knew he was unaware of your feelings, but that only made it hurt more. Maybe entertaining this sort of flirty banter wasn’t a good idea. It only made your hopes for something more to happen multiply. And that wasn’t fair—to either of you.

“No,” you bit out before you looked away from him entirely. He frowned, but turned away to converse with the other Jedi as you tuned them out.

—

Obi-Wan Kenobi was confused.

He had asked for your help on his mission because he knew you were in a nearby town, and because you knew how to handle your blasters. Really well. He had always admired that about you, even though he considered them a bit uncivilised, and he would never admit it. Instead Obi-Wan always decided to send a snide remark or comment your way, even when you were shooting perfectly.

“Maybe you should try hitting the target one day, y/l/n,” he shouted the one time you had missed your practice target.

What he didn’t know was that you had missed because you had been staring at his training with his lightsaber. You couldn’t help it; because, come on, Obi-Wan doing sword practices? He looked hot as fuck. It had made you glare daggers at him and you’d thrown the blaster his way.

“Why don’t you try it then? See if you’re so much better, Master Kenobi,” you challenged.

His smile only widened as he studied your approaching, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I’d rather not, darling,” he said. “You know I have no luck with those things.” You picked up the blaster and pressed it against his chest, leaning in closer to him.

“Oh, come on, Obi-Wan,” you purred. “Don’t tell me you’re afraid.”

His mind went blank at your words. You were so close to him now, he would only need to lean down a bit and your lips would be touching. Oh, how he wished to feel your lips on his. He shook the thought away and smiled at you.

“Yes, I am very afraid that you might be better than me at something.”

You moved away and chuckled, taking up your shooting position again. “I’m better than you at a lot of things.”

Obi-Wan quirked an eyebrow. “Oh, yeah? Care to enlighten me?”

“I can think of a few things,” you had winked at him.

The insinuation was enough for Obi-Wan’s cheeks to redden, but he turned away and left the subject at that. That was how you two always were. A few insults thrown in here and there, and even though he cared not to admit it, there were some flirty elements as well.

And that was why he was confused as to your sudden cold exterior. He replayed the conversation in his mind, trying to figure out why it had gone south. Did he say something wrong? Had he done something wrong?

He was brought out of his thoughts by the voice of Anakin.

“Master?” he asked, and Obi-Wan only blinked at him.

“Yes, Anakin?”

He sighed and shook his head. “That was the third time I tried to get your attention. What is going on?” He glanced at you on the other side of his master, at you, and lowered his voice. “Is it your partner? Who are they, really?”

“It’s nothing, Anakin,” Obi-Wan replied. Anakin seemed to ponder his words for a moment, and Obi-Wan was completely content on letting the conversation go.

Anakin frowned. “Why haven’t I heard about them until now?”

Obi-Wan quirked an eyebrow. “There are many things you do not know about me, Anakin. I like to keep some things private.”

“I understand,” came his voice, a bit too smug for Obi-Wan’s liking.

Obi-Wan turned to him. “What exactly do you ‘understand’?”

Anakin inclined his head to where you were standing. “I just want to let you know that it’s okay, Master.”

“Anakin, I have no idea what you are talking of.”

He rolled his eyes, leaning as close to Obi-Wan as he could. “I’m talking about the two of you,” he said.

Obi-Wan’s cheeks immediately burned. “y/n y/l/n is an old friend,” Obi-Wan whisper-shouted. “We’ve known each other since we were kids.”

“Come on, Master, I heard the way you were talking to each other. Frankly, it’s quite obvious.”

Obi-Wan glared at Anakin for him to shut up. He glanced at you beside him, trying to keep the younger Jedi’s words from sinking into him, but to no avail. He was aware of the insinuations that often existed in your conversations, and the way your words were too often far from strictly platonic. He knew you were good looking in the standard way, as he often saw heads turn in your direction and flirty smiles sent your way, though he had never allowed himself to think of you that way. It was dangerous territory for a Jedi and he wasn’t sure he’d be able to resist if he allowed himself to give in.

But now, when the both of you stood at your death row, almost out of options, it put things in perspective. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if he—

A sudden cheer went up in the stadium, bringing his attention away from you. A voice sounded, in a strange language he couldn’t understand, and four doorways opened at the end of the arena. Out walked four creatures, each one horrific in its own way, and led by guards with spears. They were careful to not walk too close.

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this,” Anakin said beside him. Obi-Wan hated to admit he agreed, but forced himself to think rationally.

“Just relax. Concentrate.” He directed the words to his padawan, but they were for himself as much as for Anakin.

“What about Padme?” he asked, drawing Obi-Wan’s attention away from the oncoming monsters. He glanced behind Anakin, seeing that she was using her chain to climb the pillar.

With a smile he said, “She seems to be on top of things.”

Anakin glanced behind him, nodding, and forced calming breaths to release through his lungs. Obi-Wan looked your way, afraid he’d worry for you. Instead, you stood still, almost like a statue, looking directly in front of you. Your gaze was calculating, deadly calm, like a soldier’s calm, and your breathing was even. He didn’t know how, but you seemed to not worry even one bit at the oncoming creature.

He didn’t have time to think over it more when a creature with long claws closed in on him, throwing a leg against his chains, severing it. Obi-Wan threw himself to the side, narrowly avoiding the attack. Shouts and cheers went all around him, making him more dizzy than he already was. He tried to focus on the creature as he kept tumbling out the way, every time closer than the first. He went behind the pillar to take cover, but the monster felled it, causing it to tumble down in a load crash towards him.

Before he could understand what was happening, Obi-Wan was tumbling against the ground, rolling in a heap. The only thing was that your weight was on top of him, holding him down. He was too aware of every place you touched, shivering even through the chaos that was going on around you. You quickly glanced down at him before jumping to your feet, extending an arm for him to drag himself to his own feet. You kept ahold of his hand, tugging him along as you ran out of the creature’s path. Obi-Wan was afraid to think of what would’ve happened without you there.

He looked to the side, seeing one of the guards with a spear, taking it to throw at the monster behind you. For a second, he thought it’d worked. But then, it snapped the spear in half and continued its chase for the both of you. Thankfully, right then, Anakin and Padme appeared atop one of the other creatures, a massive horn at its front. He gestured for the both of you to get on, and without thinking, Obi-Wan grabbed your hand again and pulled you with. He helped you up in front of him. He hesitated, just a moment, before letting his arms snake around your midriff. You felt it, tensing against the feeling of him. You realised this was the wrong moment to be shy about contact, but you also realised the meaning of letting him fall against you so.

Obi-Wan let his head lean against your shoulder, ignoring the warning shouts put there by the Jedi’s so-called ways. He was tired of keeping distance from you only because of formalities. Seeing you in danger as he had done earlier, it scared him more than he dared admit. He needed to make the most out of the time you had left together.

“I—“ he began, but was interrupted by the tumbling of droids appearing, pointing their guns at the four of you.

You turned to look him in the eye, searching for any signs of reassurance there. You found none. Obi-Wan did not have a second plan, something to get them out of this major mess. He was finally out of ideas. Your lips tugged downwards at the sight of his hopeless gaze. You understood as well as he did how fucked you were.

And that’s when it happened; when dozens of lightsabers appeared in the crowding stands; they were lit in varying colours of blue, green, and, one particular, in purple. Their light reflected onto their bearers, revealing countless Jedis ready to fight. The rest of the crowd began to flee, previously cheering for the slaughter of the four of you, now cowards to the fight that would inevitable ensue.

A smile lit up your face, gazing onto the new turn of events. Maybe it wasn’t over for the two of you.

It quickly faded when more droids appeared, running over the arena to get a good shot on you. The Jedis were just as quick, jumping from the stadiums to meet the blasters with their sabers. Obi-Wan grabbed a nearby lightsaber and freed first himself, and then you, from the chains. You ran to pick up two blasters, lying nearby a fallen droid. You didn’t have time to think about the others before fire was upon you and it was all you could do to fire off shot after shot, fell enemy after enemy as your aim found its marks. Obi-Wan was soon beside you, twirling his lightsaber in beautiful circles and cutting down every droid in his vicinity. If you weren’t in mortal danger, you’d say he was enjoying himself with the way his lips formed in the faintest smile.

It was difficult keeping track of everyone and everything when all your surroundings were filled with was the light of blasters going for their mark and the glowing of lightsabers cutting into metal. Your ears were ringing, shouts and blasting muffled by the concentration of keeping your head connected to your body. All you could focus on was the next droid to appear in your path. One at a time, to keep you from losing hope and getting overwhelmed. But even you could admit that it was seeming bleak. The numbers on your side were dwindling and you felt a faint thudding in your left arm, which you had conveniently managed to ignore until now.

A sudden shriek called for your attention when the creature from before was charging for you again. You could feel your muscles locking up, the fear setting into them, while your mind was screaming for you to run. Instead, you stood there with a gaping mouth, awaiting the blow that would inevitable come upon you.

Before it did, a lightsaber cut into the creature’s path and sent its head rolling to the dirty ground, its body dropping in a lifeless heap. You turned, seeing Obi-Wan with his lightsaber raised, panting hard. His gaze turned to you with widened eyes. His legs moved before you did and managed to catch you before you fell to the ground, your legs folding beneath you. The paralysing fear was gone and in its place had an overwhelming sense of dread settled, causing your body to finally catch up with your mind. You almost wept against his robes, holding onto his shoulders to steady yourself. Obi-Wan’s arms circled you, his eyes searching you for any fatal injuries. When he couldn’t find any, he allowed his hand to smooth against your cheek, tilting your head to look at him.

“You okay?” he asked.

You nodded absentmindedly. First now you realised the closeness of him, and how vulnerable you both were in the middle of the battlefield. You turned at the same time, ready to cut down any droids, but it turned out unnecessary as the remaining Jedis had formed a protective circle around all of you, their lightsabers raised against the onslaught of droids. They stopped in their tracks as Count Dooku’s voice rang out, loud and clear, calling for a cease of fire. He was telling you how the fight was over; you were outnumbered; to lay down your weapons in arms; you were practically dead.

The Jedis looked around, uncertain on whether it was possible to win this fight. You met the droids with a steeled gaze; you’d rather die here, on the battlefield, than in some dungeon of the Sith’s. Obi-Wan looked to you and you saw the same determination reflected in his eyes. You wished to rather not die at all, but it was the lesser of two evils.

As if by reading your thoughts, suddenly battleships descended to the arena — stormtrooper ships. You let out a breath of relief; however ready you were to go down in battle someday you were glad today wouldn’t be that day.

With the help of the stormtroopers, your numbers were suddenly in the majority, felling the droids quickly and swiftly. The fight was far from over, though. Obi-Wan nudged your arm, nodding to one of the ships. You ran after him, with Anakin and Padme in the lead, onto the hovering ship and it lifted in the air. You looked around to see other stormtroopers on the ship, with only God knows what thoughts swimming behind those helmets of theirs.

“Dooku is making his escape,” said Obi-Wan, pointing ahead of him. You looked to see two slender ships and a speeder-bike flying at full speed.

One of the troopers nodded, and the ship picked up in speed. Your feet stumbled at the change, unprepared for the sudden jolt in the metal beneath you. Obi-Wan’s arm instinctively reached out and snaked around your waist, pulling you close to him.

“Hold on,” he said.

You ignored the warmth of both his body so close to you and the sudden rush of it in your cheeks. Miles of sandbanks stretched beneath you, only fleeting with the quick speed you were travelling. Ahead, you noticed that there was only one spacecraft left in your pursuit. Hopefully, you’d be able to get this mission done with and go back to your not-so-peaceful abode; all of this were definitely more than you’d originally bargained for.

With another jolt of your ship, it threw all of you off-balance and a shriek sounded. You turned to see Padme fall out of the open door. Anakin reached for her but Obi-Wan was there within a second to snatch away his wrist, pulling him from the opening.

“Put the ship down!” Anakin cried.

“Anakin, don’t let your personal feelings get in the way!” Obi-Wan shouted back, effectively ignoring your gaze. He turned to the front and called, “Follow that speeder!”

You turned Obi-Wan’s words over in your mind. Of course he wouldn’t stray from the Jedi way, not even for you. Had you then only imagined his lingering gaze and touches that existed a moment too long? Had your mind created the delusions of Kenobi’s want to protect you during the fight, or had he only happened to be nearby to help you?

Whatever the matter, you felt it smartest to not be present for the coming fight. You called out to the two Jedis.

“I’ll go after her, you handle Dooku.”

Obi-Wan turned. “No, wait— y/n!”

Before he could take hold of you, you had dropped out the opening with bent knees meeting the sandbank, landing with a compact you were not ready for. You rolled, tucking your head into your chest and quickly jumped to your feet. You had jumped out of the ship a little later than Padme and had to walk back the distance to find her again.

She laid on the sand, outstretched, with her head resting to the side. You ran to her quickly, letting her head rest under your hand and shaking her slightly in a careful attempt to wake her up. Her eyelids slid open carefully, before blinking wide up at you. Her limbs hurried with panic in an attempt to stand up and she almost tripped herself.

“Hey, hey, calm down!” you said, disentangling yourself from her. “You’re okay, you’re safe.”

She stopped struggling but stayed wide-eyed as she let herself take a few calming breaths. Eventually she had found her voice enough to ask, “Where’s Anakin?”

“Still pursuing Dooku. C’mon, we gotta get back to camp.”

Padme’s head shook before you finished your sentence, looking around. “No, no, we gotta follow them. We gotta help.”

You swallowed, nodding absentmindedly. You wanted to help Obi-Wan but you were afraid how he would react to seeing you after the fighting was done. Would he turn you away, and ultimately let the Jedi’s ways steer his life? Or would he allow you to get close to him, invite you into his life as something more than just a friend?

You pondered these questions as you managed to find a troop of stormtroopers and commandered a spacecraft to follow the pursuit of Count Dooku. Soon enough, a castle of some sort, made of a reddened stone with high spires, reached towards the muddied sky. Your craft landed and as a ship departed, speeding faster than you could react, towards outer space.

If that were Count Dooku escaping then that meant Anakin and Obi-Wan hadn’t managed to stop him. And that meant…

Your legs started to move faster than your mind could catch up, praying that what you feared wouldn’t be true. Your feet echoed against the ground as you ran into the cave, Padme following right behind you. When you entered the hollow room your eyes immediately landed on Obi-Wan’s form.

He was alive—barely standing and taking shallow breaths—but alive nonetheless.

His hand was grasped around his knee, barely being able to keep himself up. It looked as if it took everything in him not to slump to the floor. You hastened your steps in his direction, ready to just about sling yourself against him. You catched yourself in a moment, remembering the Jedi’s modest ways.

His eyes met yours as he let his hand let go of the lightsaber. His eyes softened, almost unintelligibly, and his lips quirked into a tired smile. Obi-Wan took the barest step toward you, his leg folding beneath him. You were there in an instant, letting your weight support his as much as his was supporting you. Your arms snaked around his waist, letting your head fall in the crook of his shoulder. His head laid on yours, his hair tickling your skin. As tired, and muddy, and miserable you were you couldn’t keep from the warmth spreading in the pit of your stomach.

Obi-Wan didn’t seem to mind any of the other Jedi’s in the room as he let his embrace pull you even closer to him. He pulled back the barest inch to whisper against your ear, “Don’t you ever dare scare me like that again.”

“What, when I dropped out of the spacecraft, you mean?”

You felt him shake his head against you. “Just today in general.”

“Afraid to lose me, Jedi?”

You tried not to chuckle, but it was difficult when you felt the dangers of the day receding from your mind and all that was left was an immense relief that elated your entire body. Obi-Wan pulled away entirely, letting his hands grip your shoulders for support. Your hands had a hold of his waist.

“Losing you would affect me more than you could ever imagine.”

You grinned as you tugged him into a hug again, pressing him even more intimately against you. There was no longer any doubt as to what Obi-Wan meant to you, and as to what you meant to him. He didn’t care what the council or the Jedis thought; he’d have you as yours. And you smiled at the thought.

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secondcupforyou · 3 months

Text

if you leave me? (what can i do)

disclaimer, this is purely for entertainment purposes and does not reflect who seventeen are as people.

pairing! dino (lee chan) x gender neutral! reader

tags! historical royalty au, childhood friends to lovers, angst with a happy ending, non-linear narrative, probably incorrect royal terminology

warnings! light swearing, near death injury (the cause of the injury is offscreen and not gone into detail, but it is still there), panic attack/mental breakdown

summary! the two of you grew up together—well, as together as two people from different kingdoms could—so it was almost expected that the two of you fell in love. what was not expected was for the person you learned to love almost getting killed before you could even think of confessing your feelings.

word count! 3.9k

author’s note! happy (kinda belated) birthday dino!! i’m glad i was able to finish this in time. now, this is the first time i’ve done this, so please let me know if anything is off!! also thank you to @horangboosadan for helping me with kingdom names and getting my thoughts down (and waiting so long, lmao).

If someone were to ask you what regrets you held, you would counter it by asking how they wanted them listed: alphabetically or chronologically. Maybe they would even get it listed by severity if the day was that kind of day. Luckily for them, it was that kind of day.

“I, for one, do not understand why we cannot storm the damned country, slaughter that bastard of a king, and have our military come home,” you said as you jumped onto the bed.

Turning away from the dresser after putting the supplies back into place, Minghao began to speak: “First of all, I beg of you to not mess up your hair, that took more time than necessary. Second of all, do you want me to explain the quite substantial list of reasons why or do you only have the need to talk my ear off?”

With a look of mock annoyance spreading across your face, you took a pause before speaking again: “Please let me fill any meaningful silence with my complaints. Ahem, we have the resources to end the war, so I cannot understand why father will not use said resources to bring our military home. I would also like to bring up—”

“If this is about your somewhat endearing, somewhat frustrating infatuation with Sir Chan, I would rather you talk about it explicitly compared to attempting to avoid it,” Minghao cut you off as he sat on the corner of the bed. “If this somehow is not about your romantic dilemmas, you could talk to King Jeonghan about your qualms with the war. Though before you do, you should understand that the war is almost over and the Alliance is doing all it can to ensure the safety of all parties besides that devil of a king from Soles and his allies.”

You huffed as you sat back up on the bed. “Just because you have the ability to read me well does not mean you should use said power to make fun of me. Furthermore, I recognise how close we are to ending the war and the work the Alliance have done, but I would just like to complain.”

“To begin with, I never said you did not realise it, but rather that your father would question you at first. Next, I grew up alongside you. I would think I understand you quite well.”

“Oh Lord, stop making fun of me.”

A loud knock comes from the door, interrupting the conversation. Dusting off their legs, Minghao stood up from the bed to answer the door. He slowly opened the door, welcoming the new figure. It was a guard. Soonyoung, if you remembered correctly. He first turned towards Minghao, bowing, before turning towards you.

“I have received news that Sir Lee Chan from the Kingdom of Pledis has been severely injured and is being relocated back to the capital of Pledis.”

“What?!”

Even after growing up in a castle, there will always be something intimidating about tall ceilings and long marble staircases. Most people would think one might find it normal, but there is nothing normal about gold leaf decor scattering the ceilings, especially when the people who own the decor are from one of the most powerful countries in the continent. However, there was something a little bit comforting this one time.

You didn’t know what made you feel relaxed, but, if you were to guess, it would be that you were no longer the only kid wandering between adults who talked about pleasantries while pretending they were not trying to acquire every possible flaw of the other. And, of course, while you had been to high class functions with kids your age before, they had never been these more political ones your father dragged you to. Well, Vernon, your brother, would often accompany you, but recently he had been sick.

Before you could spiral about your impending loneliness, a voice called out from the front of the carriage: “We are about to arrive, your Highness, so I would ensure all the final details are ready before we properly approach the Castle of Pledis.”

With that, your father thanked the voice—it seemed to be Joshua, his personal assistant—before turning to properly face you, eyes hinting at wanting to say something. However, there was nothing to be said that was not already known, so you took this as a sign to assure your father that you were prepared.

Soon, the carriage slowed down. As that happened, you looked out the window to see a group of figures at the entrance of the castle. After the carriage stilled completely, the door to the carriage opened, encouraging them to leave.

Once you exited the carriage, it became apparent just how intimidating the castle was with its tall, stone walls, but that may be because of the new environment. Slowly, you followed behind your father, beginning to zone out, while approaching the stairway leading towards the large wooden door. You had done this all before, so it was easy to not pay attention. However, once a new voice started speaking, it was hard not to.

“It is a pleasure to greet the two of you as I welcome you into our lovely kingdom. Once again, my name is Choi Seungceol, and these three are my children: Jihoon, Seokmin, and Chan.” Seungcheol turned toward them and lowered his voice, “Go ahead, introduce yourself to Y/N while King Jeonghan and I begin our conversation about the recent developments in both of our countries.”

With a quick look at each other, the three stepped forward. The two older looking ones seemed to push the youngest forward, opting to hide behind him with a grin. Whether or not it was out of shyness or mischievousness, you could not tell, but it did not stop the boy from sighing before properly making eye contact with you with a seemingly genuine smile.

“It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, L/N Y/N,” the boy said with a bow. “My name is Lee Chan, and I am third in line for the throne for the Kingdom of Pledis.”

“I want to tell you to relax, but I do not believe that will change much,” Minghao sighed as he followed you down the hall leading towards the throne room.

”And you would be correct. I refuse to sit idly as a person I care about is almost certainly in a state of extreme pain.” You took a deep breath before turning around to face Minghao, “Now, I will be speaking to my father, and I will be visiting Pledis by sunset tomorrow.”

Turning back around, you rushed to the tall, golden doors that opened to the throne room where your father was waiting. With a little pause, you opened the doors before rushing into the room. The few people in the room shifted their attention to the intrusion, not expecting to be interrupted. As the conversation halted, you made eye contact with the king.

“Y/N?” your father questioned. “Is everything all right?”

“Father, I have been informed that Chan had been injured in the war. I wish to ask you if I could travel to Pledis to see him.”

King Jeonghan let out a small laugh, “Sweetheart, even if I were to try to prevent you from leaving, I know you would find a way.”

“I cannot fully say you are incorrect…”

”Exactly,” the king smiled, “now the group of us here were just discussing what to do.”

“Ah! If I may, Your Majesty?” someone spoke as they glanced back towards the king, waiting for a nod of approval before continuing. ”Let me first introduce myself. My name is Boo Seungkwan, and I am a messenger from Pledis. We have plans to depart as soon as we finish our conversation here. If it is approved by Your Majesty and yourself, we would be honoured to take you to visit our prince.”

“Well then, what do you say, Y/N?” your father said, prompting you to respond. “If you truly wish to visit Prince Chan, then you have my approval. All I ask is that you at least bring Sir Wonwoo and Sir Mingyu with you as this is a last minute trip.”

“I understand. Thank you, father. Thank you, Sir Boo. I will now go back to my room and prepare for my departure.” After speaking, You turned back towards the doors you used to barge in where Minghao was waiting.

“You crazy bastard,” Minghao sighed as he followed you back to your room. “Only someone stupid in love would run to another country on short notice.”

“I will let you know that I heard you.”

”Have you considered that I wanted you to?”

Big events are a special time of organised chaos as a royal. There is an almost unnecessary list of things that need to be attended to just for the night to be perfect. It even breaks down to the personal level of “what outfit one can wear” because the image a royal needs to carry is a complex one. Thankfully, the stress of planning your debutante ball had come to a close a week ago, and now you only need to worry about looking your best.

”Thank the heavens that everything was figured out,” Minghao huffed as he watched you get your make-up done.

You smiled, “Well, who is to say nothing will go wrong during the ball?”

“It is your debut you are cursing, not mine.”

The two laughed as the final touches were put on your outfit. You had around thirty minutes left before you were expected to appear at the ball. However, that time came quickly as Wonwoo and Mingyu, your personal guards, came to escort you. Though your father soon took over after arriving at the entrance to the ballroom.

“I believe in you,” your father whispered before opening the doors to officially introduce you to the guests. It was then when you were guided down the stairs for your first dance before you were paraded around for people to try to kiss up to the royal family.

And that was most of the night: walking around, introducing yourself to others, being congratulated on your debut, and given strained compliments. It was mindless yet tiring. Though, before you could take a small break, a familiar face approached her.

“You look beautiful and congratulations on turning seventeen,” Chan smiled as he reached out his hand. “Now, may I have this dance?”

While taking his hand and dipping into a small bow, you responded with a small ‘yes,’ letting yourself be led onto the dance floor. As the two of you continued to dance, you realised that this was the most peaceful you felt this night.

Even though you had travelled to and from the Kingdom of Pledis countless times before, it always felt a little bit different. Sometimes snow would be covering the road, and other times there would be birds above, migrating across the continent. This time it was filled with a unique stress you had never felt before. Then again, you had never experienced someone you loved almost being killed in battle.

Soon the trees turned into homes, and you could not tell if getting closer to the castle had helped calm your anxiety. There was comfort in being able to see Chan soon, but that caused more fear to creep in as you didn’t know what to expect. However, the castle came into view before they could worry much about these thoughts.

Once the carriage slowed to a stop, each action was almost autopilot. You allowed for the doors to be opened before stepping out and rushing to the castle’s entrance. This quickness garnered small glances from some of the workers outside, not used to foreign royalty rushing towards the castle. Though just as you were about to enter the castle, you heard a voice call from behind.

“Y/N?” Seokmin questioned, bafflement all over his face. “What are you doing here?”

From the looks of it, he seemed to have arrived back home after attending some commitment of his. That was when you finally realised the almost complete ridiculousness of travelling to another country within two days of receiving news of Chan’s injury. Hell, the only reason you even arrived so soon was due to both kingdoms being on the smaller side and neighbours.

Not dwelling on it any longer, you got to the reason why you even came to the country: “Where is that idiot brother of yours? I need to get a word in with him.”

“Which one?” Seokmin laughed. At the deadpan stare he got, Seokmin properly answered your question, “Chan should be resting in his room.”

With a small nod, you began to head to Chan’s room as they no longer needed an escort after visiting so often. Before you were able to leave, Seokmin called out once more: ”Before you go, I beg of you not to kill him. I am afraid we need him.”

”I will not make promises I cannot keep, but I will try my best not to.”

The stress of sitting around a table never seemed to leave you even after years of handling politics with others twice your age. Maybe it was because you were younger that made the situation stressful, or maybe it was the topics being discussed themselves. This time it was definitely the topic itself.

“Soles has been up in flames since the turn of the season,” a military strategist from a country you could not remember as of now spoke. “It is imperative that we create a plan to follow by the fortnight.”

“While I stand in agreement with responding soon, who will even act as the leaders of this military pursuit? There needs to be multiple leaders working together, each from a separate country here today,” the voice speaking began to blend in to the world around, and you lost track of who was speaking. You could tell more was being said, but nothing made sense to you at that moment.

Then Chan raised his voice, it was the only one you could keep track of: “I will volunteer for Pledis.”

At that, small murmurs spread across the table, clearly not expecting him to step forward, so he continued to clarify: “I volunteer to lead the army of Pledis to help take down the bastard king of Soles. My father and brothers are unable to take on any direct role with this war, so it only makes sense for it to be me.”

As soon as you fully processed Chan’s words, you slammed your hands on the table, gathering others’ attention, “Chan, what in God’s name do you mean you are volunteering yourself to lead your army? We need you here.”

“It is exactly that. While my father and brothers deal with affairs within Pledis, I will be leading my army to help support the rebels of Soles. My family and I have already discussed what will be the best course of action for us to follow, and this was what we agreed upon.”

Your hands clenched as you took in Chan’s words. You then looked across the table to make eye contact with some of the other leaders at the table: “I apologise for my outburst. Now, if you could excuse me for a small while.”

At that, You left the room with a small bow. You could hear small murmurs inside, the only voice you could make out still being Chan’s, but you couldn’t pay attention to anything being said. Shaking it off, you moved forward, trying to find another room before you collapsed in the hallway.

After opening the tall doors, you tried to find a place for you to sit. However, before you could situate herself, you heard another person enter the room.

Turning around, you made contact with Chan as he began to speak, “Y/N? Is everything alright? Well, obviously not, but still…”

It was through those words that allowed for all the overwhelming feelings to take over. All the stress from the pressure to make the right decision to ensure the safety of both your country and the people you cared about, finally hit you, and tears fell before you could stop it.

“Why would you even need to leave?” your broken sobs came, trying to find anything to rationalise your thoughts at the moment. “Hell, you are a prince for heaven’s sake.”

Chan sighed, trying to find the best way to comfort you, “It is because I am a prince that I need to serve my country. Part of my duty as a future leader is to fight for my people and country; therefore, part of my duty is to fight in this war.”

You were only able to choke out a small “I know” before falling into a complete tearful mess and collapsing to the ground. As he watched you cry, Chan slowly moved to embrace you and wipe the tears falling from you eyes. He sat on his knees, waiting for you to feel even just a little bit better.

“Let me ask you one thing,” your voice finally said after several more minutes of sobbing. You could feel your throat closing and your eyes stinging, but it was the least of your concerns as of this moment.

“Anything. I will listen to anything you have to say.”

“I ask you to not get yourself killed.”

“You have my word,” Chan whispered as he kissed the back of your hand.

That was the last you heard from him after the war officially began.

“Chan,” you almost yelled as you slammed open the door. The man looked up from his book, but nothing he could want to say made it out in time before you were able to continue scolding him. “You better have a damned good reason for giving me an excessive amount of heart attacks. What in the actual hell even happened to cause you to be transported home? Because I know without fault that the only way you would be here at this moment is by you being forced for your own well being.”

As he didn’t fully register who was speaking to him at first, he was tense, but after realising it was you, he began to relax. A small smile fell upon his lips before he opened his mouth, trying to welcome you.

“Prince Lee Chan of the Kingdom of Pledis, this is not the time to be smiling,” you interrupted him as you closed the door.

“Y/N,” Chan whined as he watched you bring a chair to the side of his bed. “You have no reason to even be here.”

“You almost getting killed in battle is a perfectly fine reason to be here. I care for you, Chan. Let me worry for you as well.” You brought your hand to Chan’s forehead, brushing loose hair out of the way.

Chan leaned into the touch with a small smile before responding, “If I were to speak the complete truth, my memory of the situation is blurry as I lost consciousness soon after Soles’ army ambushed us. It seems they attacked me first as a way to cause havoc. Thankfully, my men were able to respond accordingly and the enemies were dealt with.” Chan bit his lip in anxiousness before continuing, “Since this may not be satisfactory enough for you, Sir Junhui was with me throughout the attack, and he filled out the official report. I would visit him if you have any more questions about the situation.”

“Understood, I may… I may do that later. However,” you hesitated, not knowing how to best express what you were thinking. “However, please let me ask you one more thing: are you okay?”

“This is the best I have allowed myself to feel since I was off at war.”

“Oh, thank the heavens.”

With a hesitant look flashing across his face, Chan continued to speak, “Though, I do have one last thing to say. If I may?”

You let out a light huff, “It better be something delightful.”

“Now, I should preface this—“ Chan said with a click of his tongue before being cut off.

“What other trouble did you get yourself into, goddamn it.”

“Please, let me finish.”

“Right. I apologise.”

“I preface this by saying I do not expect anything from you. This is only something I feel you deserve to know. I would also prefer it if you could let me finish before you respond.”

After he got a small noise of confirmation, Chan let his eyes drift until he focused on his lap. As he let out a small chuckle, he spoke, “To put it simply, I have fallen in love with you. In fact, I fell in love with you years before now, and these feelings have only grown since.

“You have always been a constant in my life, even when you are a country away. While this could be because we have grown up together, I find it hard to believe for that to be the case as you are the only person I feel this was towards. You are incredibly special to me. From the way you will make the smallest adjustment of your life to help a stranger to the way you will act so loving towards those you care deeply for. All of this, and more, has made me fall in love with you over the years we have known each other.

“I know there is a strong chance that you will never return these feelings to me, but I cannot let the chance where they are reciprocated vanish as I refuse to live with regrets. However, I beg of you to never feel as if you are in the wrong for not feeling the same.”

“Have you finished?” you asked with a small smile as you heard Chan pause.

“Yes.”

“I am in love with you too.”

Not expecting to hear those words, Chan quickly raised his head to look at you. “What?”

“I will say it once more: I am in love with you too. Maybe even since the first time we met one another. Every day I find something new to adore about your being, and I wish to find more. So, yes, I have fallen deeply in love with you as well.”

Without care for his injuries, Chan sat up and embraced you with as much strength as he could give, which was not as much as one would think a trained fighter could foster. Slowly, he pulls back and adjusts the two of them before asking a question: “May I kiss you?”

You smiled before giving a quick nod. “Yes, you may.”

After those words reached his ears, Chan leaned in as he put his hand on your cheek. Your lips met for a smile filled kiss, causing all worries to disappear. You two let a few moments pass as you took in each others’ warmth before separating.

With one final embrace, you worked towards moving Chan into a position that would no longer put strain on his injuries. As he was adjusted back on the bed, Chan let a bright smile reach his eyes while he joked: “They had been right about not waiting to confess until after the war. I would hold so much regret if I was never able to tell you about the love I hold for you.”

“You are the biggest fool I ever had the displeasure of meeting.”

“If I was such a displeasure then I find it hard to believe you would even be here at this moment.”

“Oh, be quiet.”

mirajane’s rambles! ahhhh i’m so happy i finished this! i finally sat my ass down and wrote lmao. though i wrote a lot of this while sick, so please tell me if anything doesn’t make sense. and happy birthday dino! i actually was gifted an otter plush two days ago, which was funny timing

any likes/reblogs/comments are appreciated <33

#secondcupforyou 🤍#svt #dino #lee chan #seventeen #seventeen fanfic #dino x reader #dino x you #seventeen x reader #seventeen x you #lee chan x reader #seventeen angst #dino angst #lee chan angst #live laugh love dino from seventeen

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bejeweledblondie · 7 months

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Just Like My Babcha

Sobiesław “Gromsko” Kościuszko x F! Reader

Summary: Y/N comes from a Polish-American family & learned from the best at making homemade pierogi catching the attention of a familiar Polish operator

A/N: I’m not from Poland I myself have polish ancestry & my own Babcha came from Poland but she never taught me unfortunately so if there’s any mistranslations I apologize in advance. For anyone who doesn’t know a pierogi is like a potato dumpling, but it can be filled with cabbage & other food

Warnings: potential mistranslations, traditional gender roles, thoughts of impregnating

Y/N’s hips swayed side to side to the song that was coming out of the nearby speaker. She used the back of her hand to brush some of her hair out of her face, & got flour on her cheek in the process. It was Easter, & she was making pierogi to celebrate the holiday. She was feeling a little homesick being far away from her family, & called her mother asking for the recipe. The smell of the dough was bringing back nostalgic memories of going to the grand Orthodox Church & coming home for a early lunch. Her babcha would help her little delicate hands pinch the edges to hold the cabbage & potatoes.

She was so focused on cutting the dough properly & to proportion that she didn’t even notice the shadow she was starting to acquire. Sobesław was returning from a mass at the local Orthodox Church when he was pleasantly surprised by the smell of pierogi’s cooking. He walked into the conjoined kitchen & living room area of the apartment he lived in. He was surprised to see their Human Resources Secretary standing there. She was also so kind to him, & was actually able to pronounce his name correctly. He was in utter shock when she was able to pronounce it on the first try.

He leaned up against the doorway as he watched her hum to herself while she started to fill each pierogi. This was a sight he could get used to. Growing up in a very traditional Catholic Polish household had instilled very traditional values. A vision of her with a small baby bump glowing from pregnancy making pierogi’s & other food played in his head. She was absolutely beautiful. Being a civilian, let alone a woman on a military base had to have been intimidating for her. Every time he’d walk into the office she worked out of her head would always been down, failing to make eye contact. Her shyness always intrigued him. He couldn’t imagine someone so stunning want to hide their face all the time.

Her delicate hands started to fold & pinch the pierogis creating the half moon shape. It took one accidental bump into the side of a table for him to gain her attention. A small gasp escaped her lips at the sound & a slew of polish curses rang out of his. A scarlet blush appeared on his cheeks as he tried to cough it off. She looked and smiled at him.

“Oh Sobiesław you startled me,” She started. “I’m assuming you got a good waft of the pierogis I already have cooking.” A small smirk danced on her lips.

“Tak (yes).” He replied. “Just wanted to know if you needed any help. My babcha, she used to make them with me.”

“That’s where I learned too.” She replied enthusiastically. “Well come in! Just make sure you wash up.” He walked into the kitchen & washed his hands in the sink. Once he finished drying them off he stood right beside her. “Hands.” She instructed. He held out his hands and she placed some flour in the them. Rubbing his hands together he spread the flour & got to work.

As he started to put some of the cabbage into the dough, he couldn’t help but notice how petite she was. The pierogis looked significantly larger in her delicate hands than his. She smiled up at him & he nearly melted into the floor right there.

“I can see our Babcha’s had very similar techniques.” She said. “How long have you been cooking them?”

“Ever since I was able to walk.” He replied. “My Babcha wanted me to know so I could pass down the recipe.”

“Mine too.” She replied smiling & continued to fill & pinch the pierogis. “Seems like they’d be close.” He could’ve dropped to one knee right there. She always had a reputation of being so kind, but she truly was an angel. It wasn’t very often that his teammates asked much about his life or his family. It was refreshing & comforting to talk to her about his life back home.

“How does a woman like you wind up in a place like this?” He asked. “You’re an anioł (angel).” She smiled at his compliment. Her life wasn’t the best back home, & the civilian sector of defense contracting provided her with a way out. Good benefits & there would always be work.

“I needed to get out. Home wasn’t the best environment for me to be in.” She replied somewhat solemnly. “Since I have personal health issues I wasn’t qualified for military service but I found employment in the civilian sector.”

A feeling of sadness washed over him. He couldn’t imagine someone as kind & beautiful having to experience something so tragic. It only triggered the instinct to protect & take care of her more. Once the pierogis were cooking away, she started to set the table for the two of them. Beautiful hand painted Polish pottery littered the table. Intricate blue & red floral designs created a kaleidoscope of colors that stood out on the white table cloth.

Sobesław admired her attention to detail even if it was just the two of them. He too was feeling homesick for his country, but seeing all the traditional Polish decor around him made him feel right at home. A timer went off alerting them the last batch of pierogis were done. Sobesław went to take the pierogis off of the pan & Y/N’s hand came down smacking it.

“You go sit down,” She ordered. “I’ll take care of it.” In pure shock he slowly made his way to the table & plopped himself down into a chair. Not long after she started to bring out the tray of pierogis. Soon followed challah bread, kielbasa (sausage), & potatoes.

“Kochanie (my darling) how do you plan for us to eat all of this?” He asked. Her heart fluttered at the term of endearment. She really did cook a meal for a family of ten.

“We’ll manage,” She replied as she poured him a glass of wine. “I’m sure some others will see the leftovers in the fridge. But don’t eat too much there’s still dessert.” She walked back into the kitchen to grab the opłatek (communion wafer) for grace. As she was walking back out she caught Sobesław almost taking a huge bite out of a pierogi.

“Tsk tsk, we still have to say grace!” She stated. A small blush crept onto his face, he had forgotten. She walked up to him handing the opłatek to him for him to break off a piece. Then she place a small kiss to his forehead. She walked to her place setting & sat down. A small prayer was said & they both each ate their piece of the opłatek. “Now you can dig in.” She teased.

He immediately started to pick up the pierogi he cut earlier. A small moan escaped his lips as the pierogi touched his tongue. He started to hear wedding bells the more he ate.

“I’m assuming it’s good.” She laughed. He nodded still speechless from the food that was in his mouth.

“They’re just like my babcha’s.” He replied after he swallowed. She smiled at the complimented & started to cut into her own food. “What are you doing next Friday?” He asked.

“Nothing.” She replied.

“I want to returned the favor, let me take you out.” He stated very bluntly.

“Sure! It’s a date.” She replied & started to eat the food in front of her. His heart leaped, & he couldn’t wait to tell his babcha he found the girl he was going to marry.

#cod imagines #sobieslaw gromsko kościuszko #sobiesław kościuszko #gromsko #gromsko x reader #ghost call of duty #call of duty #cod modern warfare #kortac #ghost x y/n #könig call of duty #cod masterlist

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y2ashlee · 1 month

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Twisted Wonderland: Confessions

Author Notes:

• I guess you can also could these as them asking the Mc out as well as confessions some of them are just confessions.

• As always the reader is Mc

• I tried to make this gender neutral as much as I could. The point being is tried. But I’m definitely never writing gender neutral ever again especially for smut as that would literally break my brain.

• Also one of them is based off of a true event that happened to me! I won’t say which but if you can guess which one correctly then I’ll…write you whoever you want from this list for the next smut I write after said correct guess even a x male reader (I’ll try) and of course if it lines up with my rules. (I won’t write gender neutral). Obviously offer is only for the first person who guesses. You totally don’t have to though. And requests are open. Like I’ll write anything regardless as long as it follows my rules.

~~~

Riddle-

Riddle, bit his lip as he thought about his plan again as he looked down at the rose bouquet in his hands he knocked on the door to ramshackle and waited. The door opened, and he hid the bouquet behind his back quickly as he cleared his throat. “Sorry to disturb you, but I wanted- No needed to inform you that y-you have bloomed in my heart like a bush of roses and I wanted to ask i-if you’ll be mine…” he said, presenting the bouquet, his face flushed as he waited for a response. “…o-of course if you don’t feel the same, I-I understand.“ he said, his face flushed so red almost as much as his hair while his heart thumped wildly in his chest.

Trey-

Trey smiled softly to hide his nervousness, as he presented a small box to the prefect of Ramshackle dorm, his heart thumping in his chest. “This is for you, I was wondering if you’d be the sugar to my spice.” He says grinning to hide the pain of the bad pick up line and the Prefect opened the small box that contained a cupcake with a small clover inside a heart made of icing on top of it.

Cater-

Cater smiled as he hugged the ramshackle dorm, prefect close to him with the guise of getting some cute pics for a magicam. “So cute, could you be mine.” he said quickly, regretting that it was so cheesy, and he wanted it to sound better, but it was too late his face flushed. “You don’t have to answer…” he sighed but still waiting for a reply.

Deuce-

“I know we’ve only known each other for a short time, but you make me happy, and I was wondering if you’d go out with me!?” He said in a loud voice, as soon as those words were out of his mouth his face turned red, and he gulped as he looked at the ground, afraid to look up as his heart pounded, and sweat drip down his neck.

Ace-

He smirked as he flashed his hand of cards. “Queen of hearts and a seven of clubs. Guess that means I win. Have I won over your heart as well? I know my heart is yours~” He said, then realised what he had said, and his face flushed in the blink of an eye. “Uhhh..” he was stunned, unsure of what to say.

Leona-

The sneer on the man’s face as he watched the prefect of Ramshackle dorm talk with a classmate as said classmate clearly had ulterior motives the classmate reached out a hand towards the prefect. Leona quickly walked over to the prefect and flicked the classmates hand away glaring at them and putting an arm around the prefect’s shoulders before saying. “Don’t touch what’s not yours.” The classmate froze and nodded before backing up and dashing away. “What’s not yours?” The prefect turned and looked at Leona and he gave a smirk at the confused look. “Only if you want to be.”

Ruggie-

He sighed as he sat down to have a break from running errands. “Here have this! You look like you need it.” The Ramshackle dorm prefect asked handing him a bottle of water and a paper bag. He grinned taking them. “Thanks, gotta love free food!” He said and opened the paper bag revealing donuts. His eyes widened as he grabbed one and took a bite. “Aaaaaa, I’d marry you if you’d bring me donuts everyday!” He said smiling before he realised what he had said and his face flushed while his ears fell flat as he looked down if he was standing his tail would be between his legs.

Jack-

The Prefect smiled at the small cactus that Jack had been growing. “It’s so cute!” Jack smirked. “You’re cuter.” He said bluntly then froze as he realised he said that. “I-I didn’t mean to say that!” He said looking away his face flushed his ears drooped a bit as his tail came to a complete stop. “You find me cute?” The prefect smiled up at him. He nodded to embarrassed to say anything. “I think you cute too~” they said a smirk coming to their lips as they watched his tail sway quickly.

Azul-

Azul smiled smugly as he looked around Monstro Lounge happy that the special he was promoting was going well. His eyes drifted to the entrance as he spotted a familiar student had entered the lounge. He cleared his throat before speaking. “Welcome! Come in and enjoy our special just for this week.” He said handing a small pamphlet to the Ramshackle dorm prefect. “Thank you.” They said taking the small sheet of paper their hand slightly grazing his gloved hand. “Oh wow everything looks so cute and delicious.” The prefect said smiling up at him. “…you look delicious.” He said softly. “What?” The Prefect looked up at him confused. “I-I meant cute! You look cute!!” He says his face flushed with embarrassment as he covers his mouth trying to hide his embarrassment. He cleared his throat once more as he tried to calm his fast beating heart as he avoided their gaze. “I think you’re cute too.” They smiled at him.

Jade-

The Prefect of Ramshackle Dorm sighed as once again Grim had started a fight with some students and fled leaving said Prefect to deal with the angered students as they apologised and tried to calm down the angered students but said students were about to turn ugly until they felt hands clap onto their shoulders with a heavy weight. “I do hope you are not thinking of hurting my sweet angel fish~” a voice said the grip on the angered students shoulders unchanging as the two students turned around the face of one the Leech brothers. “S-sorry!” The two students said in illusion as they ducked out of his grasp and fled. Jade gave a malicious closed eyed smile as he watched them run. “Your…angel fish?” The Prefect asked confused. Jade turned back to the Prefect his gaze and smile turning soft. “Well only if you want to be of course.” He said hopeful that his feelings are reciprocated.

Floyd-

“Hey Jade, Hey, Floydie~!” The Ramshackle dorm Prefect said with a smile and a wave as Jade and Floyd were passing in the hallway. Floyd stopped his face showing confusion. “Eh? Floydie?” He asked more than said in a deeper voice then usual. “Well you call me, Shrimpy I thought its only fair I give you a nickname too.” They said. “If you don’t like it I won’t call you it again.” Jade smirked as he watched his brother turning the cogs in his head. “Okaay, well I’ll see you later.” The Prefect said waving goodbye to the two of them and walked away. “You better go get your Shrimpy, Floyd.” Jade said with a smirk. Floyd shot into action as he strode down the hallway after “his” Shrimpy putting an arm around their shoulders and pulling them to him as he gave them a toothy grin. “Will you be my, Shrimpy?” He said his eyes gleaming.

Kalim-

Kalim smiled as he spotted the Ramshackle Dorm Prefect as he slowed his magic carpet to stop next to them. “Hey, you want a lift?” He asked his smile glimmering as bright as a diamond. “That would be great thanks.” The prefect said returning his smile. He smiled and took their hand pulling them onto the magic carpet. He grins and gently places his hand on their shoulder. “So where to my diamond!” He says quickly then realises what he had just said. “Your diamond?” The prefect asked. “Only if you want to be of course.” He says removing his hand his face flushed as he avoids their gaze.

Jamil-

Jamil sighed as wiped sweat from his brow his eyes drifted to the Ramshackle dorm prefect who had come to watch the basketball club play a practice game. They smiled as they walked over to him waving. “Here.” They smiled handing him a bottle of water. He smiled softly. “Thanks.” He said softly taking the bottle his hand brushing against theirs. “..sorry.” He said averting his gaze. “It’s alright, you looked really good out there.” They smiled. “..you look good..” Jamil said bluntly taking a sip of water before he realised what he had said coughing slightly as his face flushed from the embarrassment. “You alright?” The prefect asked patting his back gently.

Vil-

Vil eyed the Ramshackle Dorm Prefect as they tried to disarm a situation caused by Grim who had fled and left the prefect to deal with it. The prefect sighed in relief as the situation was resolved their shoulders hanging low as they wiped their eyes in frustration. He walked over the prefect and taking their hands in his. “Come now don’t cry, dear you have to keep your chin up and not let them phase you.” The prefect blinked in confusion wondering how long he had been there. “Now come along.” He said pulling them with him the grip on his hand firm but gentle at the same time. “W-wait where are we going!?” They asked quickly. “On a date, my dear. I was planning to ask you in a more mature way but after seeing that display I had to throw away my original plan.” He said his cheeks slightly flushed as he realised he was still holding their hand.

Rook-

Rook smiled as he waltzed over to the Ramshackle dorm prefect was sitting in the dinning hall eating silently their face plain as they listened to Rook take about beauty or something along the lines. “Oh mon trickster you light a candle in my heart the way you eat your sandwich…blah blah something French blah blah…” The prefect had stopped listening a while ago. They wiped their hands after finishing their sandwich as well as their mouth. Rook gently took their hands in his smiling softly. “Mon Trickster, would you be mon amour?” He asks his eyes sparkling. “What?” They asked confused.

Epel-

“Hey, Epel what’s up?” The prefect asked as they opened the door to their dorm seeing Epel standing there with his eyes to the ground. “…would…you….” He mumbled softly his face flushing as he fiddled with his hands. “I’m sorry?” The prefect asked confused unable to heard what he had said. He sighed loudly his shoulders slumping as we looked up at the prefect. “I really like you would you go out with me!!” He said his face and ears flushed as he looked at them his heart pounding.

Idia-

Idia sighed grumbling to himself as Ortho had made him come outside with him to test something he had built but he was also happy he got to see the ramshackle dorm prefect from where he was a safe distance away so it didn’t look like he was being creepy. He grumbled some more as he looked away from the prefect and typed on his tablet as he watch Ortho enjoy himself. “Hey, Idia what-“ he screamed and quickly covered his face with his hands as it flushed his hair turning orange slightly in embarrassment and surprise all at once. “Sorry didn’t mean to spook you, I thought you saw me.” The prefect chuckled awkwardly. He mumbled something incoherent. Before Ortho shouted. “CERBERUS!!” He yelled excitedly. Idia’s eyes widened in panic as he looked over at Ortho who was giving him a thumbs up. The Prefect questioned why Ortho shouted out Cerberus and why Ace and Deuce had joined him in yelling it again. Jack signed next to the Prefect after Idia had mumbled something and was typing something on his tablet his hands shaking at every tap as he had to retype it serval times. Jack sighed once more. “He likes you and wants to ask you out, so say yes or whatever.” He said bluntly and walked away. Idia froze panic written all over his face. “Really?” The Prefect asked shocked. He nodded biting his lips in embarrassment his hair turning orange his face flushed as he gripped his tablet his hands sweating like crazy.

Malleus-

Malleus smiled as he saw the Ramshackle dorm Prefect outside of said dorm they waved to him as they walked up to him. “Hey, Horton how are you?” They smiled up at him. His eyes softened at their smile. “I wish I could gaze at your smile forever.” The Prefect blinked a few times confused. “If only you could be mine forevermore.” He said gently taking their hands in his. The Prefect’s cheeks flushed at the comment and bit their bottom lip before saying anything. “A-are you asking me to go out with you? Like romantically?” He smirked and nodded. “Of course, have been for a while but you never seemed to answer my questions.”

Lilia-

Lilia smirked smugly as he saw the Prefect sit down at one of the tables in the dinning hall. He quickly magically popped over to them quickly placing his hands on their shoulder firmly. “RAHH!” He said quickly chuckling afterwards after the prefect jumped dropping their cutlery onto the table. “L-Lilia l, you spooked me!” He chuckled once more “Hee, sorry my dear but I just had to come over to greet you.” He. Said patting their shoulders gently. “I just couldn’t help it since I’m so smitten with you.” He said smiling at their flushed cheeks.

Silver-

Silver blinked a few times before opening his eyes completely his eyes slightly blurry still trying to focus on the Ramshackle dorm Prefect’s face. “Wish I could…wake up next..to you everyday..” he murmured before falling back to sleep leaving the Prefect with flushed cheeks as well as panicking as he had fallen asleep in the middle of a hallway. “..your so cute…” he mumbled which didn’t help the situation.

Sebek-

Sebek frowned as he saw the Ramshackle dorm Prefect with the usual group of first years as they all walked over to him. The Prefect apologised for being late for their study group before Grim complained about not wanting to study and being hungry. The rest of the group rolled their eyes as they walked over to one of the tables. The Prefect stopped a moment to fix their shoe before being hit in the head by a book. “Ouch! Who threw that?” They asked looking around seeing no one as they looked around and down at the magazine. The title of the book said. “Ways to show affection to your crush?” The Prefect said picking the book up and walking over to the table. “Haha! Sorry, I was aiming at Sebek with the book.” Ace said with a smirk. The Prefect blinked. “Why?” The asked before gasping. “Oh my god, Sebek you have a crush on someone!? Aw, who is it?” They asked curious. His eyes widened in shock as his cheeks flushed the others around the table smirked and snickered even Jack. “I-I…you.” He mumbled softly his voice only above a whisper the quietest his voice as ever been. “Pardon?” They Prefect asked trying to heard over the other boys laughter. “You.” He said his voice still quiet but firm his eyes gazing into theirs before quickly looking away his face flushing once more. The Prefect blinked a few times before their face also flushed slightly.

~~~

Hope you enjoyed my garbage of a drabble.

-y2ashlee

#twisted wonderland mc #twistedwonderland #twst #twistedwonderlandxmc #twistedwonderlandxreader #twst x reader #twst x you #twst x yuu #twst x y/n #twst x mc

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fanby-fckry · 1 month

Text

It’s not Wednesday, but UH3 brainrot has once again consumed me.

I’m supposed to be catching up on Ace Alastor Week, and instead I’m writing ahead in the Season 1 fic.

Sneak peek below, heed the tags.

Content Warning: self harm*, blood, references to canon-typical violence, implied/referenced child abuse, inconsistent terminology regarding sex and gender**

*Whether or not this is self harm could probably be up for debate, but I, personally, consider it to be a form of self harm. Please put your own health and safety first; read with caution of feel free to keep scrolling. Stay safe, readers.

**Alastor sometimes conflates sex and gender because he just doesn’t think about or care what people have in their pants. He grew up in a time where the two were considered interchangeable; while he knows neither sex nor gender are static/that not everyone matches up with the gender they were assigned and will call a trans person by their chosen name/pronouns, gender them correctly, and treat them exactly like he’d treat anyone else, he still gets the terms a little mixed up from time to time. He wouldn’t gatekeep someone based on their transition status, because the physical state of someone else’s body isn’t his concern unless he’s actively in the process of killing them. And even then, he’s not focused on sex characteristics of any kind.

…

“And all this time, I thought it was mere population control!” Alastor ranted ino the private connection. He was pacing across his meticulously sound-proofed hotel room while his shadow flew from wall to wall.

“Well,” Lucifer began, but Alastor wasn’t done speaking and didn’t care for being interrupted.

“Ha!” Alastor laughed, threading a hand through his own hair. “Can you blame me?” he asked.

A rhetorical question, but Lucifer gave his best attempt at answering. “It is p-”

“They’ve got no style, no finesse! And barely any skill!” Alastor’s shadow curled its claws into fists, and Alastor removed his hand from his hair to keep himself from pulling it or digging his claws into his scalp as he felt the urge to do the same.

“Year after year, decade after decade, it’s nothing but artless, soulless slaughter!” Alastor laughed again, manic, hysterical, and lacking any and all joy. “Is it any wonder I assumed it was simply a mindless masacre?”

“Alastor-”

“Entertainment…” Alastor dug his claws into the inside of his palm, attempting to ground himself with the pain.

“If killing Sinners for one’s own entertainment is so damned Holy, then why is he in Heaven while I’m down here?” Alastor demanded, static rising in his voice. “Why, one could argue that he’s worse than I am!”

“He’s certainly killed more Sinners than I have by now, considering how long the Exterminations have been in effect.” Hell’s history books were patchy at best, and Lucifer only talked about his – and by extension, Hell’s – past in vague, non-specific terms, often while drunk or sentimental. Or both.

Alastor’s claws began to draw blood. “And from the combination of what Charlie and Lilith and you have all told me, he’s a vulgar, disrespectful chauvinist!”

The pain no longer felt like an anchor. It was fuel on the fire that was the rage burning within him, the wrath he felt at the injustice of it all.

“My mother raised me to be a gentleman,” Alastor said. “Any disrespect I show is based on a woman's actions, not her sex. But Adam expected Lilith to bend to his whims simply on the basis of her gender! He talked down to Charlie, likely on the same logic!”

“And yes, I kill because I enjoy it, but I’m selective with my victims! I enact vengeance on behalf of the weak and vulnerable! In life, I corrected the injustices of a corrupt system, and in death I punish those already Damned by their sins!”

Blood was seeping through Alastor’s knuckles. He pushed his claws deeper, sinking them into the meat of his palms.

“So why…?” There were bloodstains on the carpet. Niffty would be quite upset if she learned that the blood was Alastor’s rather than one of his meals’.

“Why?” Alastor repeated, barely audible above his own feedback. His cheeks were wet. He must have gotten blood on them at some point.

Everything was silent for a moment, save for the static Alastor couldn’t reign in.

Then, Lucifer spoke. “It’s complicated,” he said, quietly.

Alastor made an animalistic sound deep in the back of his throat, something between a growl and a whimper. But he let the Devil speak.

“I don’t know the particulars, but murder and vengeance are both Damnable sins.”

“Then why isn’t he Damned,” Alastor said through gritted teeth. “Why hasn’t Adam Fallen?”

Lucifer sighed. “Nepotism?”

Alastor laughed. “Oh, that’s rich coming from you!”

“What the fuck do you mean by that?” Lucifer asked, his volume increasing. “My Father kicked me out of Heaven for falling in love with Lilith and for daring to dream of a world where humanity wasn’t bound by eternal ignorance.”

“And he gave you a kingdom!” Alastor swung his arms, flinging blood across the room with the sheer force of the movement. “He let you and Lilith elope when he could’ve smited you both! Do you think he’d give the same courtesy to his other angelic children, or do the rumors of you being his favorite son hold true, hm, Lightbringer?”

The radio began to smoke and glow with a faint golden light.

“Get that name out of your fucking mouth, Alastor.”

Alastor ignored him, ignored the projections of his power.

“My father never would’ve shown me such benevolence if I’d disobeyed him the way you did yours.” Alastor moved to inspect the bloodstains on the walls. “And the best thing he ever gave me was a lesson in the inherent cruelty of man.”

#self harm cw #implied abuse cw #fanby’s fuckery #fanby’s fic snippets #fanby: uhverse #fanby: uh3 #fanby: an age of upheaval #not tagging fandoms and shit because i don’t want this breeching containment #uh: alastor #uh: lucifer #uh: radioapple

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abalidoth · 1 year

Text

Die a Hainly or Live Long Enough to See Yourself Become the Vilia: Gender, Breath of the Wild, and Representational Sterility

Thanks to @start-anywhere for encouraging me to write this essay!

Major spoilers for Breath of the Wild, minor spoilers for Mass Effect Andromeda and Horizon: Forbidden West, as well as the Tears of the Kingdom trailer and H:FW Burning Shores.

cw: transmisogyny.

"Be careful playing the Gerudo segment," I heard from friends. "There's a transmisogynist joke there."

There's a lot I don't remember about 2017. That year was a perfect recipe for dissociation: I was finishing a very fraught and frustrating PhD dissertation and TAing at the same time, with very little sleep. I was constantly worrying about finding a job after graduation, and moving to a new city sight unseen. I spent the first two months of the year away from Emma for a math fellowship, the longest we'd ever been apart.

And on top of that, I was a closeted trans femme living in Laramie, Wyoming, a town famous for a homophobic hate crime, during the first year of the Trump administration. My gender pressure had been building for years, out to friends online but not to anyone in person save Emma. I knew I wasn't a man but the closest I could come to expressing it was wearing skirts at home, and nail polish on the weekends. (Apply Friday afternoon, remove Sunday evening, repeat weekly.)

But I do remember playing Breath of the Wild with Emma.

Zelda is in the DNA of our relationship -- Emma showed me Ocarina of Time before we even started dating, Twilight Princess was one of the first games we played through together, and I proposed to her with a ceramic replica I made of Anju and Kafei's wedding mask from Majora's Mask.

So, getting to play a new Zelda game -- an extremely good one, at that -- with her, during one of the worst years of my life, was an incredible beacon of light.

So the warning about a transmisogynist joke in the Gerudo segment was disappointing, but I kept it in mind as we played.

For those who haven't played the game, here's a quick synopsis of that quest: Link, our hero, needs to access Gerudo Town, a town of all women. (Sorta. Put a pin in that. 📌) You talk to a male shopkeep outside who tells you that he's heard "a man" has been "sneaking" into town, and he's waiting to catch a peek. Other (Gerudo) characters mention an odd human woman, a merchant, who hangs out on the roof of a bazaar a ways outside town. Up there you find Vilia.

(image source: Zelda Wiki, which correctly genders Vilia unlike some wikis 😒)

If you accuse her of being the "man in disguise" she brushes you off and won't speak to you further. If you compliment her, she'll offer to help you get into town, sell you the Gerudo clothing set (grab another pin 📍) and say how pretty you look, making Link blush. Then the wind will blow her veil aside, which we only see obliquely, but we do see that she has facial hair. Link acts surprised.

Okay. Let's unpack.

First off... Vilia is a trans woman with a beard. I'm just gonna treat that as a fact from this point forward. Everyone who actually interacts with her refers to her as a woman, she refers to herself as a woman, we will set "but maybe she's just a crossdresser" or whatever aside, she's a trans woman. With a beard.

Is that problematic?

A big theme of my evolution as a social justice advocate is that "problematic" is meaningless in a vacuum. The existence of a trans woman with a beard is not, itself, problematic. Otherwise that's pretty bad news for me, a trans femme with a beard.

But her depiction... There are definitely some elements of cultural transmisogyny being upheld here. Stubble is a common feature in popular caricatures of the Gross Tranny. Link's reaction being played for comedy makes Vilia's existence sort of a big joke.

And on a surface level examination, it looks like this is a straightforward "man dresses as woman to gain access to women's spaces" story, straight out of Joanne's Twitter-addled fever dreams.

But other than that, Vilia is pretty well treated by the narrative. All of the Gerudo refer to her as a little odd, but fundamentally a helpful person, and they respect her identity. It's clear when Link runs around Gerudo Town that multiple people clock him, but nobody ever throws him out because they just assume he's a trans woman and therefore implicitly welcome.

Vilia's character model isn't exaggerated in any way I'd consider transmisogynist, aside from the facial hair, and Link in the Gerudo outfit is, well, far from an unflattering portrayal.

And importantly, you cannot progress the main story if you misgender her.

There is no other way to get into Gerudo Town, and thereby the Divine Beast Vah Naboris, if you just say "you're a dude, right?" and don't walk it back. You can technically finish the game without any of the four Divine Beasts, but they make it MUCH easier, and a significant chunk of story is locked behind her quest.

So back in 2017 I played this, went "well that wasn't great but it wasn't as bad as I thought," and went on to wear the Gerudo outfit as much as humanly possible.

Flash forward to my 2023 replay, in anticipation of the sequel. I'm avidly curious to replay this section, given my evolution in my own gender understanding. (The first time around, I id'ed as genderqueer and Definitely Not A Guy but I'm not sure I was comfortable with "trans" yet, and definitely not "situationally a girl".)

Turns out? Vilia fuckin' rules. Gender icon. They hate to see a girlbeard winning.

Ok, I'm exaggerating. (A little.) But there is a reason I'm writing this essay, and I came away with a much improved sympathy for her character and her position in the story. I want to talk about why, but first let's clear a couple of those pins.

📌 The Gerudo are an all-female race. This is historically true in the Zelda games, with the single exception of Ganondorf, an ancient incarnation of evil who is born as the only make Gerudo once in an age. Ganondorf isn't in this game (though he is in the sequel!) so he's not relevant here. There are two things to note here: one, the Gerudo are nonwhite and heavily middle eastern coded. This is something I can't get into, as an Extremely White Person, but their interaction with gender is not without racial context and it would be irresponsible of me to not mention it.

But second, and the thing I will talk about, is that they seldom use the words "man" and "woman", but rather "voe" and "vai". We get these translated for us, but they are just that -- translations. They are gender concepts unique to the Gerudo that get mapped imperfectly to Hylian standards. The Gorons, a race of rock people who all use male pronouns and forms of address, are allowed into Gerudo Town, being "neither voe nor vai". And all of the Gerudo characters treat you differently when you're in the Gerudo clothing, even though it's clear that many of them have the perceptiveness to see through it.

I think it makes perfect sense to interpret "vai" as less "woman" and more "fem presenting". The Gerudo's actions are consistent (arguably, more so) if you do so.

📍The Gerudo armor. There's a few things to talk about here. First, Vilia sells it to you rather than just giving it to you. This seems a bit callous, but there's other similar monetary roadblocks in the game, and she's explicitly a traveling merchant and jewels are (as she says) expensive. I don't blame her.

The Gerudo armor is also, in game, pretty terrible. If you're wearing all three pieces you get a tiny bit of heat resistance, but it has basically no armor and can't be upgraded. There is a purchaseable "voe armor" with similar aesthetics but much better stats, but it can't be used to access Gerudo Town.

This is... Not ideal. I like to run around in the Gerudo armor because Link looks absolutely adorable in it; that was more of a priority back then than it is now that I have my own fem wardrobe, but it's still true. I wish it could be upgraded. I also wish you could just wear whatever armor aesthetically and get a different set of bonuses.

Okay. Now. To explain what it is I actually like about Vilia's portrayal, I want to talk about two other transfeminine characters from open world games: Hainly Abrams from Mass Effect: Andromeda and Wekatta from Horizon: Forbidden West.

Hainly Abrams is a scientist on the planet Prodromos in Mass Effect: Andromeda. In her first conversation with you, you can ask her why she came to Andromeda, and she says she was looking for a fresh start for her transition, and then... weirdly deadnames herself, in a way that feels utterly alien to anyone who's interacted with trans people. BioWare took criticism on this... sort of, and patched that conversation to only happen after you gain her trust by saving her fiance. But it's still extremely jarring. I cannot find information about her voice actress.

Wekatta is a troop leader of the Sky Clan Tenakth in H:FW. Like Vilia, the narrative is actually somewhat cagey as to whether she's a trans woman or not. I don't believe anyone actually refers to her with she/her pronouns, unlike Vilia, and the closest she gets to saying she's trans is

Aloy: And you think he's crazy for trying?

Wekatta: I'm not a fan of that word. When I chose to wear a woman's armor, people called me crazy, too.

Wekatta only shows up for a single minor side quest, and doesn't really get to actually do anything. She is at least voiced by a trans voice actress, Rebecca Root.

Both of these portrayals are mostly free of overt transmisogyny. Hainly deadnames herself in a strange and off-putting way, and Wekatta's portrayal is ambiguous to the point of over-caution, but there's not much that could be read as a transphobic joke like in Vilia's story.

They're also both boring as heck. And neither of them really feels trans.

Both of these characters feel like existing bit-player characters with one "bee tee dubs, I am A Tran" line slapped into their dialog. Sure there isn't anything overtly wrong with that kind of representation, if it's done carefully, but this is "minor character mentions he has a husband" rep, not "on-screen gay kiss with main character" rep. (Side note, though, good for Guerrilla for making Aloy canonically queer in Burning Shores. Haven't played it yet but I'm stoked to. Hell yeah.)

Vilia, as problematic as elements of her portrayal are, feels like a real transfeminine person. She feels more like me. Her gender is kinda messy! She has a girlbeard! She gets to call you out if you misgender her!

And best of all, her interactions with Link (excluding the shocked face at the end, which is pretty annoying) can be read very easily as an older, more experienced trans woman helping a younger trans girl with early transition, giving her her first feminine outfit and complimenting her. There's no wonder why transfem Link is such a popular headcanon. (My personal favorite for Link is some kind of transfeminine genderfluid.)

Vilia isn't perfect, but truly great and realistic trans representation is going to be easier if you start with a Vilia and clip off the overtly problematic bits, than if you start with a Wekatta or a Hainly and try to make them feel more real.

#botw #breath of the wild #vilia #tesserants

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altermay · 6 months

Text

Tw/ transphobia, discussions of dysphoria, brief mention of suicide, descriptions of child abuse

Getting unbearable. Feeling sick. Started working to afford hormones only to find out the service that is most accessible to me (plume) doesnt offer T in alabama anymore due to changing laws. Fuck all these stupid politicians putting their noses in others lives.

Thought people at work wouldnt make a super huge deal, as I was selective with who I told, so i thought maybe I could hold out a bit longer and at least i wouldnt have to feel so dysphoric all the time, since all my coworkers knew me as Monte. But then instead of my name, people who would usually call anyone else by their name started calling me “Miss” and “maam”

Even the ones I had come out to, and even the ones who told me they were accepting.

Whatever, im from a small rural area, so transphobia is not new to me, what is new to me, however, is being openly trans in an unfamilliar environment. I thought I could start T quickly and maybe people would ever forget that im trans in the first place, but now its been so long.

Some people call me He, and use the right pronouns, but increasingly lately Ive received a myriad of transphobia.

Being called tranny loudly while my coworker kicks my broom as I try to sweep (kicking hard enough for the broom to almost leave my hands and hit another person behind me) , Getting called “it” behind my back. Stuff like this is becoming more common.

The two coworkers who called me it, have been spreading lies about my work performance these past five days, Ive been told my three different people that every time I leave to go do something they start talking badly of me. So I got to my breaking point, at this point it had nothing to do with the pronouns, I was just upset that two forty+ year old adults were purposefully making my job harder to do while I was also struggling with a ton of other stuff (ptsd, seasonal depression, a family members recent suicide) and so I couldnt stop crying.

Despite this situation having nothing to do with me being trans, they are now trying to spread the narrative that Im just being sensitive because they were misgendering me while they were borderline bullying me.

If I was not trans, people would take me seriously on these issues. But now, because I am upset, suddenly Im just a stereotype. A sensitive trans person who is offended because someone used the wrong pronouns a few times.

I will be one to say, I do not give a SHIT about my pronouns. Ive been called the wrong ones my whole life by a majority of people. That was never the issue. But because Im trans, that is the only issue people can perceive for me to have. The ONE issue I had with them regarding my pronouns was them calling me “it” and thats not because its the wrong pronoun, thats because its DEHUMANIZING.

But now I have other coworkers who know NOTHING about the situation saying shit like “well if she claims shes a man maybe she should suck it up” “well if she wants to be seen as a man maybe she shpuld cut her hair”

Fuck you. How about YOU get beaten for 17 years, YOU watch your siblings get beaten near to death for 17 years. YOU have flashbacks of things you dont understand all day every day and we will see how fucking well youre able to “suck it up” you are WEAK. YOU ARE ALL WEAK. And you dont know what its like to be me. My mother tried to kill me. My mother almost killed my sister, I was neglected, never went to a doctor, and I STILL dont know how to take care of myself. And I still havent recovered all of the memories.

Ive had SHORT HAIR ive had LONG HAIR Ive had a MOHAWK, ive had a BUZZCUT ive been BALD. And people STILL fucking saw me as a woman. Im tired of conforming to this bullshit just so people can treat me the same as they always do

Fun fact though, since Ive had long hair Ive been gendered correctly by strangers MORE than I have with ANY OTHER HAIR STYLE.

These stupid fucking transphobes and their stupid fucking stereotypes im so fucking sick of it all. And corporate wont do anything about it, Im sure of this.

Why is it so hard for me to just live my fucking life.

Im so sick of it all

#vent #tw vent #tw transphobes #transphobes #transphobia #tw suicide mention #suicide mention #abuse #child abuse #neglect #tw abuse

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yanderedollhouse · 10 days

Text

Part 2.5

Night Shift

Demon!Yandere OC x Suicidal!Reader Summary: Short bonus scene after you go to bed

Warnings: Yandere, Suicide mentions (ideation, failed attempt, urges), Obsessive behavior, needles, religious concepts (angels, demons, heaven, hell), delusions, fantasy horror/ gore, harm and recovery, hospitals, psychiatric ward, manipulation, medical malpractice, murder, harassment, medication malcompliance, noncon, kidnapping Resources: Connect with a trained crisis counselor. The 988 Suicide and Crisis Line is confidential, free, and available 24/7/365. Word Count: 1.6k

I bet on losing dogs

I know they're losing and I pay for my place by the ring

Where I'll be looking in their eyes when they're down

I'll be there on their side, I'm losing by their side

Andreas shut the door to your room quietly behind him. This time, he made sure to lock it securely before walking off. Stalking down the hall, he muttered angrily to himself, replaying the evening over and over in his head.

What exactly had gone wrong? He knew you wanted to take his deal. He could see it in your eyes. He could feel it in your quickened pulse as he held your fragile, human hand. He had set the whole thing up to be perfect!

Well, that run-in with the other nurse certainly hadn’t helped. He would deal with her later. And he had to improvise a bit when you asked about security, but his plans had absolutely never gone this wrong.

His vision goes red for just a second.

“Sir? Sir!” Andreas hears Samson’s grating voice against his ears and feels a hand on his shoulder. He shakes it off immediately.

“What?” Andreas tries to keep the annoyance out of his voice as he faces the taller man.

“Uhh” Samson points a shaky finger at the hole in the wall.

“Oh.” Andreas takes his hand out of the wall. “I’m fine. Just go back to your station.” He shakes some drywall off his knuckles. His thumb running over the indent where your teeth scarred him. He could have easily removed any trace of your attack, but so few people made him bleed. He didn’t mind keeping the reminder. Even if it made his blood run hot at the moment. He looks back up at Samson saying, “I told you to leave. What do you want?”

“He wants you to fix your face, Demon.” Graves chimes in from safely behind Samson.

“Oh.” Now that Andreas thinks of it, he can feel that his human form is slipping. His eyes must be black and that’s what's scaring Samson. The guard was a good person and didn’t like to be reminded that he had sold his soul to Andreas. “Better?” he asks after a moment.

“You’ll knock them dead, sir!”

“You’re ready for prom night, that’s for sure.”

“Get out of here before I decide to rethink your contracts.” Andreas watches as the two idiots scurry off like roaches. Maybe he should fill your room with roaches and wait until you beg him to make a deal before he lets you out.

No, he hasn’t been a demon for a horribly long time like most, but he has at least figured out that you get better responses from the carrot rather than the stick. He needs to figure out what you want. What you really want. Before he offers it to you. He knows that there has to be something in your life that could change for the better. But first, he needs to call in a few favors.

Cordyline Smith could always be found in the employee break room, so when Andreas finds it empty, He’s forced to extend his sight elsewhere. Closing his own eyes and filing through the souls around him, he finally opens Cordyline’s. She’s on the bathroom floor somewhere. Typical. She probably came into work hungover again.

He assumes correctly and finds her in the gender-neutral bathroom nearest to the breakroom. Her ID badge laying discarded behind her on the floor as she clutches the rim of a toilet. He begins to pull her long, black hair back gently and she flinches at his touch, then relaxes.

“I swear I was on my way to find you.” She says, not facing him, but he isn’t concerned about seeing her eyes. Like Samson and Graves, Cordyline has been in contract with Andreas long enough to know it’s useless lying to him.

“It’s alright.” He reassures her. “I wouldn’t have been able to talk until now anyway. What’s going on? Out too late last night?”

“I wish.” She laughs bitterly, holding up the wand in her hand. Even from this distance, he can’t make out the result with his own eyes, but the context of the situation tells him it's a positive pregnancy test. Cordyline begins to sob now and Andreas sighs. He lets his human form slip down enough to conjure a large bottle of anti-nausea OTCs.

“Come on, let’s get out of here and discuss this in the breakroom.” He says, shaking the bottle a bit to get her attention. She gets up and washes her hands.

Andreas offers his arm, and she holds it, walking stiffly to the breakroom. When they arrive, Cordyline’s eyes go wide as she sees what he’s got in store for her.

“You’re not mad at me?” She makes a beeline for the freshly hot box of donuts with her name on it- exactly what she is craving in the moment.

“Accidents happen.” He shrugs. “And I need a favor anyway.” She gives him a questioning look. “I need you to do some research on the patient in room 666, y/n. I want to know absolutely everything you can find, no matter how useless it seems. I’ll even take a high school transcript.” She raises her eyebrows.

“Someone trying to get out of a contract?” She pulls out her phone and starts typing away immediately.

“On the contrary.” He admits. “I made her an offer and she wouldn’t take it.”

“Really? That’s never happened before.”

“Yeah, don’t rub it in.” Andreas clutches at his heart, pretending to be hurt.

“Okay, there’s not a huge presence here, but I’ll send you what I’ve got.” She types for a few more seconds and then puts her phone down to face him. “Can we please discuss the terms of my contract?”

Andreas was expecting this. People’s priorities tend to change dramatically in Cordyline’s situation. “And here I thought you knew you couldn’t get out of a deal. Not even I have the power to undo what’s been done.”

“It’s not that!” She says quickly. “I- I need to renew our contract. Or make a new one, however it works.” She puts a hand lightly over her stomach. “I’m keeping it, and I don’t know if that means I’m on my own yet.”

“Oh.” Today was full of surprises. Andreas smiles and puts a comforting hand on her shoulder. “You’re never going to be alone in this.” He promises. “I’ll be here for the whole journey.” He can’t be certain, but he thinks that he can feel her shiver under his touch.

And five minutes later, he’s walking out of the breakroom with the energy of a new contract at his heels, leaving Cordyline to sleep on the couch until her break is over. Considering how the day has gone, he believes he needed a win.

Now that Cordyline’s child has a secure future and support, it’s time to shift his focus back to you. He carefully makes his way back to the psych ward on the 6th floor, momentarily stopping to check in on Lauren, the other nurse in psych that you ran into during your grand escape. She is still a bit shaken, but Andreas assures her that he has your case under control and that he’ll be working overtime for it.

There’s no need to assign anyone else to your case, he won’t be taking any time off until you make a deal with him. It’s his top priority. Just in case, he puts a warning note about violent outbursts in your file to prevent visits from staff, family, or other patients. It’s not a total lie.

He has approximately 3 other marks in the ward at the moment but decides not to pursue any of them any further. He’ll reassign them to Samuel, Lauren, and the floaters. After all, they’re all voluntary admissions, nothing special.

It’s about 3 am when he finally has a chance to comb through the information Cordyline sent to his email. From the looks of it, your inner circle consists of two parents, an on-again-off-again boyfriend, and a handful of friends from college.

Andreas moves quickly, looking through the profiles of your friends first. It looks like you’re tagged in a few of their photos from your college years, but nothing recent. He double checks with your transcript and confirms that you dropped out voluntarily shortly before you were to graduate. It seems like your depression was affecting your grades too much. You probably have little contact with those friends anyway, as it looks like the majority of them have settled down. He goes through your parents’ information too, but nothing catches his eye.

When he can’t find anything on your supposed boyfriend, he becomes a bit frustrated. Doesn't everyone live online these days? Yet, you’ve made absolutely no impression on the internet.

You give him no choice. Andreas reaches into the electronics drawer and fishes out the phone that was in your pocket when you were admitted. He sets it up on a charger and makes a call down to Cordyline to get it unlocked. He looks up to see the sun start to rise over the east building. You’ll be awake soon, since the safety blinds in your room are poor quality.

Fifteen minutes and another six bacon-covered donuts as payment later, Andreas is granted access to your entire life.

#obsessive yandere #yanblr #yandere drabble #yandere #yandere blog #yandere x darling #yandere x reader #andreas my oc

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sylph-of-limebloods · 2 years

Text

The Euphoria of Being Transgender

I know I never really post on here, but. I haven't seen enough trans positivity on my dash recently, especially for trans men, so as someone who's ftm I've decided to share some very niche, gender euphoric (masculine) experiences that I've had since I started transitioning about a year ago. NOTE in case: some of this *is* HRT-related, however I still wished to share them because often I see descriptions of the physical changes but never anything beyond surface level "he got abs now" type deal

increased upper body strength, and suddenly being able to lift objects more easily

feeling your peach fuzz turn into coarser hairs

having your mustache long enough to munch on (don't tell me y'all don't too)

wearing your binder just right so that your Gender Outfit looks even better

NSFW feeling yourself get hard for the first time (and many more! oh god so many more...)

buying v nice Guy shoes and working them in

PANTS POCKETS OH THANK THE POCKET GODS!!!!

((pants pockets...))

being gendered correctly without correction

better yet, being gendered correctly because the speaker respects you and your personhood

(i am queer af so) painting my nails but Guy

your self grooming ritual becoming more elaborate because you actually now want to take care of yourself

you finally see You in the mirror. You in your gestures, your expression, your life. You're finally seeing You.

That's all the things i could think of atm. might add more later if i think of any.

If anyone wishes to add on, feel free to do so!

#transgender #gender euphoria #trans man #trans pride #transmasc #transgender pride #gender discussion #open discussion #god this is so random #i never do this #i hope some people see this id love to see more positive experiences on here

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bigendering · 1 year

Text

Pronouns and dysphoria

At this point I've been out as bigender for a long time. Almost eight years. During a lot of those, the last few especially, I've been pretty isolated, with most of my interactions being online, in very inclusive spaces. I also physically transitioned via hrt to the point that my voice at least is androgynous, leaning masculine. Add very curly short-ish lopsided hair, and I can usually get gendered as male or female whenever I want, depending on how I dress.

The result is, the vast majority of the time, I'm gendered correctly. My friends all use my preferred pronouns, the communities I spend a lot of time in use my preferred pronouns, and elsewhere on the internet I'm either not gendered or gendered arbitrarily, since I'm just a talking username. The last place I lived, everyone was trans and used my preferred pronouns, and now that I live with my partner, I'm still always gendered correctly at home. Out in the wild, people gender me as male and female depending on my presentation. Often I'll get both in one day. Since I'm m/f bigender, this gives me a lot of gender euphoria. I don't mind being perceived as one or the other as long as it averages out. Not everyone is like that, but apparently I am.

So I've become a lot more chill with pronouns now. Now that I'm not constantly being misgendered (as one gender rather than the other), I don't have a lot of dysphoria. The years-long break from dysphoria has allowed me to build up resilience to being misgendered, so even if someone does misgender me or perceive me in a way that makes me dysphoric, I can get over it quickly. It's more of a passing thing, rather than a week-ruining calamity. I still have dysphoria about other things - I very rarely present in public without binding - but much less.

Mostly I use any pronouns now. Not officially, but I just kinda let people gender me however they want, if they're not being an ass about it. I don't specify my pronouns in online spaces, so if someone does use other ones accidentally or because they forgot, they don't have to worry about having misgendered me.

I've also been thinking about using se/er pronouns. When I first came out as bigender, I didn't realize I was plural, so I was all mixed up with two other masculine alters. Together, especially with me as the main fronter, we're pretty balanced, but on my own I lean a lot more fem(me). My masculine gender is still a very important part of my identity, and while I identify as femme and feminine, female is not one of my genders. So she/her isn't the best set for me, but something adjacent, like femme is to female, makes a lot of sense. So I might start using se/er. We'll see.

Sapphire

#dysphoria #misgendering #pronouns #bigender #nonbinary #presentation

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batwritings · 2 years

Note

Heya it’s me the wonderful 🐏 annon i remember when you were a wee little writer anyways home you’re doing well butttt I’d like to request a sub!dream/dream xD with fem or gender neutral reader much love -🐏

Of course I remember! It's been a minute friend ^^ You were one of my first if I remember correctly. I hope you're well! Now have a subby little god, y'know, as a treat~ Enjoy~!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Never thought I'd see the day where I could see you like this," you hummed, grinding your hips down once more. The distorted moan that followed as like music to your ears. "The almighty DreamXD, moaning like a wanton little whore beneath me. Isn't that right sweetheart?"

"Yes, my star!" the god mewls, doing his absolute best not to buck his hips up into yours, not to drive his member further into you. You made that your rule in all this; he still got to have his fun, get his pleasure, but you were calling that shots. And that meant he moved at your speed.

You chuckled softly, bouncing slightly faster now on his member. "There's my good boy," you coo. There's something so immensely powerful about the hold you have on this entity in this exact moment. If there was a snapshot for the definition of "power", this would be it. You relish the way his wings tremble as you brush along the ridges of his feathers. "You're doing so good for me. Such an obedient little god."

"Thank you dearest, my dearest Y/N," XD sobs, hips absolutely quivering with restraint as he lets you ride him. His frazzled mind was so torn between two opposing ideals.

The server's creator adored this side of you, letting you have your way with him. A mere taste of the power he held in nothing but the fibers of his robes. But the urge to absolutely decimate you, bend you over and fuck into you with reckless abandon was rising by the second. He knew good and well that he could bend you to his whim, but this was all too alluring.

Your rocking got faster with each pant and whine. "Such a sweet god, bending to his little mortal's whim," you praised. You lean yourself forward, balancing yourself on his heaving chest. "You deserve some kind of reward for that huh?"

If the god of the SMP had ears, you're pretty sure they'd be perked as all get out. "Yes please! Yes please my star!" he whines, all four hands scrambling to grip at your waist and thighs. They tremble with his restraint, claws nearly pricking your skin.

You smirk devilishly, but even your own resistance was starting to crumble. The amount of trust this literal deity placed in you had your chest full to bursting. His desperate pleas to allow him his release went straight between your legs. How on Earth could you say no?

"Go on then," you commanded, trying your best to keep your tone level and calm. "Fuck me like you mean it."

In a flash, you're on your back, both sets of hands pinning you to the ground. A chorus of different voices and tones fills your ears, each offering you praise and thanks for this release. It didn't take long for XD's ramblings to fall into sobs of pleasure as he came. You were all too happy to watch, your own pleasure taking the back burner.

Blonde locks rested against your collar bone as the SMP's god fell from his high. "Thank you, my star," he hummed softly in between pants. "You are far too good to me."

"Hey, you do me just as well. And I don't just mean in bed," you chuckle, lightly raking your nails through his slightly sweaty hair. "C'mon big guy, let's get you cleaned up."

"But what of your climax?" XD asks genuinely. "It's not exactly fair that I got to finish and you di--"

"DreamXD, what was the first damn thing you told me when you gave me aftercare for the first time and you didn't cum?" You chided, pinching his cheek affectionately.

Though it took him a moment, neon green eyes softened in realization.

"The submissive's care comes before the pleasure of the Dominant."

#bat writes #anon reqs #dreamxd smut #dsmp smut #mcyt smut

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susandsnell · 10 months

Note

Crane: 12, 27, 30

Thanks so much for sending this! <3

Send a character and a number/several numbers, and i’ll answer:

12. Sexuality hc!

I have my biases in this, I'll admit, but I genuinely read the not-so-good Doctor as bi/pan in that I don't think he particularly cares about gender when it comes to his attractions and there's textual support over the years with various iterations of him showing interest in or having chemistry with both women and men. Yes, yes, Have a Gay Old Time and all that, but his intro comic suggests, "he certainly is a queer fellow" - given that his Year One backstory is a gender-flipped Carrie, itself popularly read as a gay allegory (hell, I think his bullies even were specifically homophobic towards him), given the long affinity between LGBT+ folk and horror/identifying with the horror monsters, and even given how blissed out Nolan!Crow looked getting his hair pulled by Batman, I'd say there's a lot to work with there.

27. If they could meet a character from another show/movie/etc, who would be the most fun for them to meet?

Absolutely love this one! I've already had a ton of fun speculating with you about him meeting Dani Ardor of Midsommar, fitting because she's even a psych major if I remember correctly, and going back and forth with what could be done with such an AU. Honestly, any horror villain and/or hero(ine) would suit him because what's so great about Crane is that as Scarecrow he works within any text to reveal a character's deepest fears and relationship with fear, while also having an academic/professional interest in them as a psychiatrist. I do think I've seen posts on here speculating on the fun he'd have with Jack Seward as a potential ally and/or rival/disappointing colleague, so that's a definite one also! And because I'm predictable, it would likely not be healthy (in that he would enable/encourage her most violent instincts, but hey, at least theyr'e supporting each other?) but at least a little touching and sweet that he'd be a needed avuncular figure to Carrie White.

30. The funniest scene they had? Oh, gosh, hard to pick just one! When old school Crane declared his plan was to commit heists for more money to buy books? When he beefs it so completely and utterly with Becky and has the chutzpah to think her issue with him is that she wants him to alter that godawful Mistress of Fear straw corset and muppet mask costume? "This is a perfectly rational response to my traumatic experiences, and if you don't believe me, I'll kill you!"? His little dance of joy out the window in the first volume of Year One? The entirety of his appearance in Happy Halloween, Scooby Doo, an extension of his habit of just Showing Up Places He Has No Business Being (including other canons)? On that note, literally everything he does in the Dark Knight Trilogy as he Barbies his way through every villainous profession in Gotham's gig economy? (Though going down that easy in Batman Begins and his sassy little strut out of the truck in The Dark Knight are highlights.) For such a frightening and tragic character, the guy is funny as hell!

#jonathan crane #scarecrow #bat-tag #cranerot #thanks for sending! <3 #ask night

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religion-is-a-mental-illness · 2 months

Text

By: Céline Calame

Published: Mar 13, 2024

Last year, I made one of the biggest changes of my life when I decided to stop trying to disguise my sex. A few days after my 28th birthday would have marked ten years since I began injecting testosterone. I had always thought I would feel at peace with that milestone, so deep in my so-called “authentic life.”

Heading home from work one day in February 2023, I stopped to look at the newspaper stand, where a headline about Jamie Reed blowing the whistle on “gender medicine” at the St. Louis Children’s Hospital caught my eye. As I read the article, it shook me to my core how much I related to each and every line. I myself had used the phrase, “Would you rather have a dead daughter or a living son?” on my mother, a phrase I had heard online, a phrase apparently recited by medical professionals to distraught parents. I was horrified to realize I was not the only one who had gone down this path as a minor.

I had already stopped taking testosterone several months prior, fearing medical complications. Despite my facial hair, as my body fat began to redistribute I began to be correctly sexed by confused men in public restrooms. I debated my next step. My little niece had only ever known me as her “uncle,” since my husband and I lived outwardly as a happy “gay” couple. Having grown a beard and undergone a double mastectomy, I continued pretending to be a man… but did I want to?

* * *

As a child growing up in Alabama, I simply thought life would be better if I were a boy: I wouldn’t get stared at in the video game aisles or made fun of for liking sports. Never mind that if I were a boy, other boys would have judged me for my Care Bear collection and my affinity for Barbies. Each night I prayed and every year I made birthday wishes to one day wake up as a boy with not a soul having any recollection to the contrary.

And yet in some ways I did not really mind being a girl. Our neighbor loved to tease my sister and me by yelling to us, “Hey, boys!” which was met without fail each time with: “WE’RE GIRLS, MARK!” In truth, I was less of a classic tomboy and more of a healthy young girl who did not let stereotypes dictate her life. I didn’t worry about my body until I learned about the ways others changed theirs. My issue was that everyone around me seemed obsessed with separating boys and girls by telling us what hobbies or friends we were allowed to have, something I did not understand.

When I first went online, in 2006 or 2007, I was about 10 years old. At first I mostly played dress-up games. Eventually I learned that I could look up questions I had, which led me to Yahoo! Answers. I wound up on the LGBT section of the site, where I asked if I could be “a boy inside” even if I loved my long hair, liked my “girly” clothes and hobbies, and didn’t really mind being called a girl. The answer was, bizarrely, a resounding “yes.” Several of the responses even gave me resources: forums I had absolutely no business being on, full of adults trying to change their sex, as well as webcomics glamorizing medicalization.

I learned to hide things from my family and to judge them negatively for not being able to understand or accept the complexity of “gender identity.” How could they deny that I was a boy inside? How could they deny “gender” might exist in shades of gray? Adults online told me that males who said they did not “feel like guys” were only saying so because they “never had to think about gender” the way I did.

My mother, at her wit’s end with how much I had gone silent towards her, did the only thing she could think to do: She read my diary. The first page of this new journal was dedicated to the logistics of stuffing my underwear with rolled-up socks to create a phallic bulge while still needing to use the girls’ locker room at school… my mother confronted me angrily, asking me how long I had been doing all these things to look like a boy. I completely shut her out, my trust in her shattered. I decided never to tell her about things going on in my life, such as self-harm, sexual abuse from a neighbor that made me ashamed of my own body, and the isolation I felt as a result of my hereditary progressive hearing loss.

My mother took away my “boy clothes” and refused to let me cut my hair. She would threaten to send me to all-girls schools. Several times she followed me to the store to ensure I was not buying duct tape, which she learned I was using to flatten my chest, or shaving razors, because she knew I was no longer shaving but instead self-harming. All of these things pushed me further away. My story finally looked more like the desperate stories of other teenagers in my boat, with families who fought every step of the way against gender ideology.

One day, realizing that my mother sometimes used male pronouns in front of me but used female pronouns when talking to anyone else, I came to the horrifying conclusion that I would never be accepted by my family as the opposite sex. Everyone online told me that suicide rates for “transgender” teens were sky-high, that without “transition” death would be my only relief. I attempted to take my own life. The tides turned in my favor: I never heard my birth name again, and was exclusively referred to as male.

Years later, when I wanted to back out, I remembered how hard it was to convince her in the first place.

* * *

At age 14 I found a gender therapist in Montgomery and emailed her, explaining that I was uncertain if anyone would let me medicalize my body because I was “a little nonbinary.” She told me I would be surprised at how open-minded she was. I began saving up money to see her. Every single penny was pinched with the goal of one day using it all to “transition.” I did not do anything fun with my friends or create savings goals for adulthood.

At age 17, I finally had an appointment with her. She made sure to schedule it for the same day as a group meeting where I met another 17-year-old girl who was already on testosterone and a man pretending to be a woman who did most of the talking while we both sat there shyly, silently.

I spent all of twenty to thirty minutes telling my story, leaving out details regarding my nebulous sense of “identity” as tumblr had suggested and instead highlighting that I had “lived as male” for a few years at that point. The therapist asked why I had come to see her, since I “sounded so sure” of myself. I needed to see a therapist in order to be prescribed cross-sex hormones, I said. She turned to her computer, entering my name into a form pre-filled for just this purpose. She handed me a printed copy, saying she would also submit my referral to an endocrinologist who worked in the same building. I was floored. Was it really going to be this easy?

When I saw the endocrinologist he was alarmed that I had listed lithium, a mood stabilizer, as a medication I took. I explained that I had mood swings but that I had full consent from everyone to begin hormones. He was uncomfortable and wanted letters from my parents and psychiatrist, but then ignored these letters after I submitted them.

Sometime during the following year, I dragged my mother to the probate judge to change my legal name. She sat there, looking desolate and defeated as I assured the judge that she fully consented. He told me he could not in good faith assist a minor attempting to lie about her sex.

A few days after turning 18, I returned to the endocrinologist, having never seen the gender therapist past that first appointment. On the basis of “informed consent,” he could not turn me down: as long as I said that I was aware of all the risks and side effects, and accepted them as par for course, I would be prescribed cross-sex hormones. Did I understand the medical risks of what I was doing? Sort of. All of the side effects meant nothing to me because I had been told online that the alternative was a life of misery and eventual inevitable suicide. It would be years before I saw myself in Jamie Reed’s words: “All it took for them to permanently transform themselves was one or two short conversations with a therapist.”

I left with a prescription which I filled that day. The taunting at school stopped as the bullies who mocked me heard my voice crack, then drop. Facial hair sprouted. I bound my chest, sometimes with very frilly, cutesy custom-made binders. (A cupcake print one comes to mind.)

I entered college very open about the fact that I was female but wanted to be a man. I frequently wore makeup and sometimes women’s clothes, saying I was “expressing femininity as a man.” I was on every “transgender student” panel and did my best to “educate” everyone on the intricacies of people like me. I got a large tattoo to mask my breasts, thinking I’d never be able to afford a mastectomy.

At the appointment the tattoo artist asked me, her deaf client, “How do you sign MY BODY IS AMAZING?” I showed her and she turned it into a dance. It was the dance of another woman who struggled her whole life to love her body. I had begun to love mine but was still obsessed with not looking completely like either sex. This made romantic endeavors difficult because I insisted on trying to be with gay men despite not being male and no longer even making an attempt to look male.

I found out that my student health insurance covered “transition,” so I made a consultation for a “simple release” metoidioplasty because I wanted ambiguous genitalia. At the appointment, I had no sign language interpreter and did my best to understand the staff and communicate what I wanted. The surgeon asked if I wouldn’t prefer a more linear path involving a mastectomy first. The nurse shook her own breasts at me while looking at my chest, eagerly smiling to indicate that the doctor was right. Uncomfortable, I took off my shirt. The surgeon assured me that my tattoo would remain totally intact and that because I was so small-chested the mastectomy could be done with the keyhole method, leaving me without scarring.

The day of the surgery, I kept wondering if something would go wrong. If my insurance would suddenly fall through. If my ride home would cancel, thus necessitating we reschedule the whole thing. Instead everything went very smoothly. Everyone assured me that when I woke up, I would be happy.

A few days later in my dorm room, seeing my new chest unbandaged for the first time, I could hardly remember having breasts. I thought this meant it was the right thing to do. In hindsight, it was trauma. I was 21 and had no idea that my breasts would not grow back if I stopped testosterone. Prior to the operation, I told my therapist I might one day have a child and want to breastfeed my baby, but we never followed up on that thread.

Post-mastectomy, I got a vaguely worded letter from the surgeon expressing that my sex had been “changed” and that I was now “physically male.” My birth certificate and driver’s license were amended to reflect this lie.

I was not unhappy, per se, but taking cross-sex hormones is like trying to install a Windows operating system onto an Apple computer. You can certainly do it, but the machine is not equipped to deal with that. I had already been through female puberty. My bone structure would never look male. I would never gain muscle the same way men do. I began struggling with my eating disorder much more severely following my mastectomy because I saw my stomach sticking out so much further than my now-flat chest. I developed vaginal atrophy and cervical problems which I am only just beginning to have treated because I avoided gynecologists for so long.

After meeting him on a gay dating website and falling in love, I married a man in 2019. We moved to the Midwest and I did something I always thought I wanted: I went totally “incognito” about being transgender, and let everyone believe me to be wholly male. Instead, I felt empty inside for years. I could never be wholly truthful about my childhood. My husband was privately uncertain how it was possible for me to “feel like a man” and later admitted to being terrified of the medical experimentation I was undergoing. He loved me dearly as his “husband,” and was willing to refer to me as such regardless of whether or not I medicalized myself. He expressed what my family was by then afraid to: How long would I live?

* * *

After reading an article about Jamie Reed in our local paper, I researched detransition. I had been taught to see people who stopped lying about their sex as self-hating, “transphobic,” or even rare cases of other issues being mistaken for “genuine gender dysphoria.”

What I found was so different from what I had been told: thousands of people who had been prescribed cross-sex hormones after a single appointment, many never seeing a therapist even once. Hundreds of women whose breasts had been removed without ever being asked why they wanted that. People whose healthy genitals had been mutilated to poorly approximate those of the opposite sex. So many who really did at some point–or even still–struggle with the desire to be the opposite sex, an impossible endeavor.

The future was uncertain to me. I was nearly 30 and had lived half my life lying about my sex. There was no adult woman I could return to being.

Was there?

Hundreds of people told me that even if I had lived my whole life pretending to be male, detransition did not mean “going back” to anything. It meant stopping the medicalization and the lies. It meant starting over. It meant moving forward.

I planned to wait a year before publicly detransitioning as a way of “serving penance” (a coping strategy my husband suggested, knowing the guilt I felt about my medicalization) and to avoid being perceived as a man pretending to be a woman. I wore women’s clothing at home, along with breast forms, which took an insane amount of courage because I felt like I was crossdressing as a woman despite being female.

One day, I snapped. I felt miserable going to work every day living a lie and absolutely could not continue to handle the frustration of dealing with a period in the men’s restrooms. I told my HR director about my situation, expecting shock. I expected a few slow weeks of telling managers, then coworkers, eventually changing my name tag and restroom habits. Instead, she was completely unsurprised. Expressing that she would support whatever timeline I wanted, she reassured me that absolutely no one would be uncomfortable with me in the women’s restroom.

I changed my name tag that very day and told all of my coworkers through a handwritten note that I passed to them with shaking hands. Not one was fazed. Most reacted with great positivity and support. A few asked me privately why I had “transitioned” in the first place and I told them very honestly: I was groomed by adults online and felt trapped in my decisions. The last decade of my life had been the epitome of sunk-cost fallacy.

Gender ideology ruined my childhood. I wonder today what would have happened had I never been exposed to the rhetoric online or had therapists pressed me about where I was getting these ideas. Today I know that being a woman is just about being female. It has nothing to do with the way she dresses, the way she sits, or the way she walks, talks, and lives her life. My mother is relieved to have her daughter back.

One day my in-laws came to visit while I was wearing breast prosthetics and feminine clothing. My husband and I expected bewilderment that never came. After a few hours of aimless conversation, I told them that if they weren’t going to ask why I suddenly looked like a woman, then I would just have to tell them. I was met with love and support, but wondered if I should say anything about the hole I saw their daughter falling down.

My teenage sister-in-law had brought her sketchbook over to show me her drawings: large-breasted anime characters that she insisted were male. Later, I texted her about my detransition to which she responded with her desire to be a boy, her involvement in the same Internet circles I had fallen for, and her intentions to look more masculine. I see myself in her: She is ashamed of her body and the Internet has already told her this means she is “a boy inside.”

I wrote this for her but she is unwilling to read it.

I’ll be there for her when she’s ready.

About the Author

Céline Calame is an aspiring literacy specialist for deaf children in the Midwest. She volunteers with Women’s Declaration International USA, having joined its Desisted & Detransitioned Women’s Caucus in 2024.

#Céline Calame #detrans #detransition #Jamie Reed #gender ideology #gender identity ideology #queer theory #intersectional feminism #medical scandal #medical corruption #medical mutilation

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