#i feel kinda stupid for letting it stop me from showing appreciation for people's work but...
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i've always had a thing where i'll get really excited about something and i tend to ramble about it and nine times out of ten, i'll get told to shut up or i'll be made to feel bad about enjoying smth sm (like for example i dont talk about the umbrella academy to anyone at all anymore even though it's my favourite show bc people always make me feel bad for talking about it so much or they give passive one word answers that make it obvious they just want me to shut up or they'll respond by pointing out flaws in it or things they don't like abt it or reasons i should feel bad for enjoying it etc. the list is endless and many many people have done this to me) so i just.... don't talk about stuff that much anymore (unless it's stranger things ofc bc you're all in this boat with me)
anyway, my point is... this has always stopped me from commenting on fics (it's stupid, i know) but i always felt like getting excited and ranting in a comment about how much i love the thing is like ???? nah they don't wanna hear what i think, i'm gonna shut up. but the last few days i've commented on three different fics and i've pushed past this weird barrier that's been in the way and it feels ???? so NICE to say nice shit to people and to appreciate their work idk
#i feel kinda stupid for letting it stop me from showing appreciation for people's work but...#gonna start commenting on fics more bc people deserve it xo#anyway this was a pointless little braindump i just needed to say it#so anyway yeah... moral of the story#1. DO comment on people's fics bc that is the one place people won't make you feel bad abt being excited (bc they wanna hear it too)#and 2. if someone gets excited about something they love dont shit all over it bc it has a knock on effect#holly.txt
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Too Careless
Pavitr Prabhakar x gn!reader
Word Count - 1.3K
Genre - Stablished platonic relationship, pure angst
Warnings - Fighting (Oh no the horrors), feeling under appreciated, surprise ending cliffhanger???
Summary - You instantly knew who was behind the mask of the new hero appearing in Mumbattan; and of course it was your best friend Pav. This didn’t cause any problems in your friendship, at least at first. This ‘discussion’ was a long time coming, you just didn’t wan to admit it.
A/N - *Slaps roof of car.* This bad boy has so much angst, you probably can’t even imagine, Hey guys, so I found out the hard way that I really really like writing angst. Who would have thought? Anyways enjoy! 💖
It was just another sleepover with Pav.
Also known as your best friend.
And also as Spider-Man.
That’s what you both always did. You were hanging out with Pav in his room after school, doing your nails, and telling him all the gossip you heard in school that day.
“Yeah, to be honest, she’s got no way of getting out of this one. I mean who even sleeps with their best friend’s boyfriend?” You said as you filed your nails, preparing them for nail polish.
“Yeah, no idea why people even do that,” He responded as he scrolled his phone, looking for something very specifically.
“So, Pav, you hear about people trying to ‘unmask’ you at school?” Trying to make air quotes at the word unmask, you playfully brought up.
“Uh-huh,” Pav quickly and dismissively replied.
Noticing his ignorant behavior, you decided to test him, to see if he was purposefully not looking in your direction.
“They got some pretty good suspects, like the jocks, gym rats, even acrobats in our school.”
“Yeah.”
“No one suspects you.”
“Of course.”
“Except me, who already told the newspaper president to unleash the news to the world.”
“You’d never do that.”
“So you are listening! What gives?” You shouted frustrated as you got up and took his chin to make it face you, away from his stupid phone.
“Sorry! You know I love listening to you! I just heard that the city wants to award Spider-Man with a ceremony soon and I wanted to be the first to know! Mostly ‘cause I would be the guest of honor, you get me right?”
“Pav really? That’s amazing! Let me see! Let me see!” You quickly decided to sit next to him in his bed, waiting to see the exciting news.
He was absolutely correct. Mumbattan wanted to thank Spiderman for all his work in saving civilians, being a role model, and an overall bright person by giving him an award. The ceremony was to take place in about a week from now.
“See Pav? All your hard work is paying off! I’m so proud of you!” Giving him a sudden reassuring hug, you told him.
“Well, it’s nothing really.”
“Pav, no, I’m not letting you under-appreciate your efforts. You earned this!”
“I’m being serious! I just show up and things just kinda work out on their own.”
“Ok, Mr.Humble, you can stop now! Take it in! Enjoy it!”
“No! I’m being very serious right now! Ever since I became Spider-Man, people have been telling me about how hard and how much sacrifice I must be putting in, but that’s not true.”
Then he just stared at you, a serious and almost disappointed look in his eyes. His life had currently felt so carefree, so relaxing, so easy.
He didn’t really feel like a true hero.
Sure, there were times when he thought he might not be able to save everyone. But things always turned out okay.
Always.
Now, he was scared that one day, that might not be the case. And then, he wouldn’t know how to save someone.
“I’m sorry, Pav. I didn’t mean to be pushy,” You finally responded after a long pause.
“No, I’m sorry for snapping at you. That’s not cool, especially when the person I’m snapping at is you,” He said as he went up to you and held you by your shoulders.
“Okay. But, Pav, why didn’t you tell me before? You know you can talk to me about anything.”
“Sorry, I just… I didn’t really know how to talk about this one… you wouldn’t get it.”
Those words stung deeply.
Here you were, his number one fan, his support since day one, but…
You wouldn’t get it.
“I wouldn’t get it huh? What happened to, ‘we’ll face everything together?’” It truly made you unbelievably frustrated.
“It’s you and me?
Against everything that could possibly get in our way?
What about me?”
He didn’t know how to respond to that. You guys had been childhood friends forever. So close. Never apart. Always together.
How was he supposed to respond?
You had felt it too.
This year was the year that things started to crumble. Even if you didn’t want to admit it.
You guys did everything the same. Always going through the same motions. But that spark, the one that always made you wanna give your best into the friendship, it was gone.
It only made sense. After all, a lot of things had changed that year.
You wanted to put the blame on a lot of things, because, you didn’t want to admit the probability that you and Pavitr were changing.
No. Not yet. Please.
You sniffled.
Talk about pathetic…
He had no idea on how to comfort you. You’d never acted like this. With just the start of a common conversation, he now had you upset to the point of having you almost crying.
“Pav… I’m sorry…”
“No, it’s okay, I didn’t know that’s how you felt.”
“I didn’t even know how I felt… don’t blame yourself..”
Silence was all you could both muster for a second.
“Hey, I know things have been weird lately but-“
It had to happen. Just as you were both ready to share your emotions with each other, his phone rang with an alarm.
A robbery in progress.
All the way across town.
How did it come to this?
You looked at him disappointed for a moment. But then, you remembered what you promised him. To be there for him and to always encourage him to do good.
Those people were in danger.
You could wait.
You always had, so what was the difference?
“Pav… you better go. Or should I say Spider-man?” As you composed yourself, you tried to lighten the situation.
He looked at you in shock, not expecting this reaction from you. You were right, and he knew that. But he couldn’t help but feel guilty for having to put aside this very important conversation with you.
He was frozen in place.
So, you did what you knew best.
You gave him a little push.
“Hey, hurry up! Mumbattan needs you!”
That snapped him back to reality. Soon he got up and ready to embark into his next mission. He couldn’t place the reason, but he felt that something was off. You were acting as you’d always had, but something about your smile bothered him. It looked genuine, but it was hiding something, and he couldn’t figure out what it was.
He decided to let it go for the moment and he later found himself about to jump out of his window.
But, he turned back to give you one last glance.
“Go!” You simply whisper-shouted as to not alert aunt Maya.
But, behind his shiny and bright mask, he had a sad glint in his eyes. And very softly and gingerly he said:
“Thank you.”
And just like that, he jumped out into the busy streets of Mumbattan.
Those words meant more to you than he could ever know,
You knew the reason as to why you didn’t want your relationship with Pavitr to become distant. It was all his fault really.
He was the brightest, most lovable, most kind guy you’d ever met.
You’d fallen for him.
And he had no idea.
Instead, he was moving on. Moving on to loving someone else.
How long would you be okay with this?
How long would it take for you to accept change?
How much longer could you endure having him not know how you felt about him?
You had absolutely no idea as to how he couldn’t have figured it out before. It was as if he didn’t even care.
But that was okay.
Because for now, you were okay with that.
Okay with just waiting.
#across the spiderverse#spiderman#pavitr prabhakar#angst#my writing#my fic#pavitr x reader#spiderverse x reader
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How do you think the characters in lps would respond to I love you?
Ohohoho, depends on the context of course but I will try my best to answer with how I see it.
Zoe: ok, so the thing is, she's kinda desensitized to those words. She herself said them so many times to people she didn't actually love or only though she loved when it reality she was just attracted to their looks. So hearing it casually she will assume it's a fan of hers who yes, loves her, but for her external image. She will be just like: "Of course you do!" or "Thanks, sweetie." but it doesn't actually work much on her anymore, though it used to flatter her to no end. Now, the reaction is different if she believes it is genuine, from someone who actually knows her and spent time with her when she wasn't "at her best". She will smile and her facial expression will go soft. While her response still might be something akin to boasting, it's her way of relieving tension. You'll know she's genuinely grateful and believes you if she doesn't just brush it off 1 second after hearing it and her reaction lingers, additionaly she will often give some touch like a hug or a pat on the head.
Penny: she loves saying I love you and contrary to Zoe usually truly means it. But because she's the one saying that phrase the most, often she's not ready to react to those words being aimed at her. She will blush and hide her face for a while, trying to process it. But after that while she will be practically shining with happiness. Call her Minka, because if she believes you, she will get this untamable rush of energy and good mood. In short: she's a bit jumpy, blushy, will give you a delighted giggle and there's 100% chance she will squeeze you. Might tear up.
Pepper: she doesn't like showing that it affects her in any way but it sure does. Her first response might be something like: "Yeah, I know, my jokes are just this good! Glad you noticed." but she needs to excuse herself quickly to run to an empty place and do that "AAAAH!" thing in her mind. She really does appreciate it more than anyone knows and will have to stop herself from smiling goofily for the rest of the day. If she can't quickly retreat to that empty place and do something with that warm feeling she will inevitably smile awkwardly and let out equally awkward giggles. Yeah, she's just awkward.
Russell: his instinctive response is to be casual about it, reply with "Okay, thanks." if you want him to properly process that "Yes, I do genuinely love you", you need to ensure that he knows you mean it. He's somewhat used to hearing it because he's helpful and smart, so if he helps someone with, let's say homework, it's not that rare for them to say "Thank you, Russell, I would have never finished it without you, I love you." and it's flattering, it really is, but he assumes that they only said it because of relief that someone felt from being able to finish that homework or whatever he helped with, not because they really feel that to him. So once you ensure that, he will turn his head and do this delighted laugh and swat his hand at you and protest "You don't really mean that" or "You're just buttering me up" but it's clear to see that he's delighted about it but also like "Wait, you do? Like, you really really do? Huh? Me?".
Vinnie: he's not used to hearing that, like, at all. He's very ready to reply with "What? Literally why?" but will stop himself to maintain his chill image and will just *finger guns* because he doesn't know how else to maintain that image without doing something that doesn't align with that. So he acts like it doesn't affect him in a good or bad way but the truth is, he doesn't believe you. Like, you love him? HIM? The tripping over his legs every two steps, stupid, can't really dance him? "Okay, cool." Will try to ensure you believe he "already knows that" but in reality it couldn't be further from the truth.
Alternative response:
Someone: I love you
Vinnie: K, I love Sunil.
Because there's no bigger happiness in life than making the seemingly happy and/or chill characters, the ones that act confident and optmistic all the time being big sad. I can fix him. But even better, I can destroy him. Speaking of such characters...
Minka: oh Minka. She will have a very enthusiastic response: jump up and down, make some high-pitched noises, clap her hands and will often respond with "Aww, I love you too! Thanks!" And well, it's not necessarily that she doesn't actually believe that. It's more that she's scared that she got that "I love you" only because of that optimistic, hyper behavior she has. Because that keeps everyone's mood up and their belief that no matter what, she will be ok. In other words: she's unsure if she would get that "I love you" if she were to be drop that behavior for even a day.
Sunil: *laughs nervously*. If he's in a good mood he'll give you the greatest and widest smile you've ever seen, blush more than Penny Ling herself and he'll probably fidget with his tail/hands(if we're talking about some Sunil without a tail). He can be a bit sassy sometimes, especially if he's feeling confident in the moment. But of course there are also moments when he's not at all. And in those moments he will be very unure and ask you multiple times "Are you sure? Are you really sure? Yeah?" Tell him all the things you love about him or moments when he succeeded and he's golden.
The depression scale is high tonight! But if I had to put them on that meme thingy...:
(This should be only taken as a meme, not my actual opinion, I just had some fun here)
#lps 2012#asks#vinnie terrio#sunil nevla#russell ferguson#zoe trent#pepper clark#minka mark#penny ling
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✨Galaxy Anon ✨ here!
( Here are the responses tumblr didn’t send)
Ooh what is this game focused on? Oh don’t worry I get distracted a lot too. And maybe since it’s easier sometimes especially having to deal with the pain that is life.
*nods head* Yes please that be most appreciated.
Pfft now that I read it back it does sound evil. Haha I meant as a warning for your feelings but I could go for that evil vibe as well lol.
Same I love lore in video games, more than actually playing the game. At least he is involved in it and also setting down his boundaries. Good for him. Honestly very true since a lot of YouTubers let it become so bad they become narcissistic or outed as predators which is such a pain to deal with.
Yes especially when they “ talk” about the subject and never bring it up or even private it showing they don’t feel sorry at all or not even say anything at all. I had a YouTuber who I didn’t watch often but when finding out what he did I actually was a bit surprised since he never struck me as the type but unfortunately looks can be deceiving. Never heard of them but at least now I have another YouTuber to avoid. Also for example artists YouTubers I don’t want to give them money for being awful and it’s shame since some of them have done amazing works and while I can separate art from artists it’s hard to find a upload that isn’t on there channel to watch so I don’t actually give the person views.
Ooh that makes sense. I will check a gameplay on that.
So basically play your route kinda game? I see. Ooh that sounds Interesting and nownI can see the differences between the two games.
Oh makes sense I understand that you have to look for the lore and sometimes it’s hard to keep track of. Yeah I don’t blame you I would just want to know the lore already and try to find people who can explain it.
Yeah I only want to shame people who have incest or actually condone horrible acts and say the acts are fine in real life and your like “ No?”
Oh I don’t mind spoilers can you explain in better detail. Honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if there was in the fandom. The more bigger a fandom the weirder and grosser parts of it are easier to find.
Yay!
Ahh I see basically the whole “ I have to deal with it” mindset. Maybe it was because they were afraid if you had them on you wouldn’t hear them clearly and be more inclined to get distracted resulting in less than satisfactory results. Wow so many big words lol.
No problem viví. I know that would be the worst if someone bad had a hold of this information and hurt you with it. Besides you don’t need to feel sorry for having boundaries.
I can’t wait to see more of it! I love to see how you handle this conflict branching off this one shot! I mean in the end as least is the readers know we are so amazing we were able to charm Joseph lol.
Do you remember if you actually left it open or even a kinda like dream that could explain why it was opened? Anything different in the house? Maybe something wasn’t stolen but maybe vandalized in your house? Not to mention also was there anyone who was last there who could have something to do it? Maybe accidentally leaving the door opened when leaving.
So the main plot of the first three is stopping these sentient machines called the Reapers. They are giant ships that hide in dark space till races rise to glory, then harvest/kill them all. However, each game is like steps to stopping them. The first two delay their arrival while gathering information (and saving people), while the third game is rallying all the races to fight the Reapers. The fourth one really doesn't have anything to do with the first three. totally different characters in a totally different galaxy. They also introduced a new alien species in this game called the Angran. I love them so much
*gives you my fluffed blanket and pillow pet* Here you go, friend 💕
Lol, villain in the making right there.
Honestly, that's Dark Souls for me. Love the lore hate the stupid difficulty. I'm really looking forward to his movie and seeing him in the fnaf movie. Also, no kidding, it's getting scary at this point.
I feel the exact same way. I won't lie i go through the subscribe list every now and again, just in case I don't like supporting anyone who hurts others.
Lol, the funny part is when I play dark souls I more on edge and anxious, which is why I make so many mistakes, but while playing DMC, I button smash 👀
Lore finding is even worse Elden Ring (It was made by the same people who made dark souls). I recently beat the game, and I can't tell you anything about the lore. Just that I killed a bunch of bosses and became a lord. That's it. so I'm watching YouTube.
I will never understand why people think shit like that is okay
Well, each fire emblem is different. different stories, different characters, and different land. However, there are few that suffer from the "She is a million year old dragon, but looks like a little girl, and one to my knowledge is marriable. One of them also has Incest unfortunately. If you're male, you can marry your actual cousin, and if you're female, you can marry that cousin's son. don't get me started in the rest of the romances. the story isn't the best either, and it's such a shame to me because there are two characters from there that I love so much, but I'm not a fan of the game.
That all being said, the more recent fire emblems don't have Incest and they do have a little dragon girl, but you can't marry her, and she acts like kid so she falls more into the little sister role. They are learning.
Really, that's my only thought process when working. I've had friends in the past who were the opposite, and i saw how that went. I mean, you're probably right. I should have been more aware of my surroundings. It was just hard for me to work without it. I don't like the quiet it bothers me. God, that sounds spoiled of 😭
Thank you for understanding.
I've been working on it piece by piece. I've been busy, so it might be a bit before it's ready, unfortunately.
Well, what happened was I went to my moms house to get something. When I came back to mine, I thought I shut my door properly, but I didn't. sometime early that morning, my cat and dog were playing and opened the door. I did recheck everything, and nothing has been messed with or taken. Since then, I have always checked my door twice.
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How you and Harry met!
Yes yes Harry is definitely a shy boy but he will definitely not date you if he barely knows you or doesn’t speak to you, which means, you both talk on a regular basis!
You first talk in your 3rd year at Hogwarts in potions class when you are assigned to work with him.
He’s pretty nervous at first because he doesn’t really interact with people outside his freind group and usual has his mind made up about most people.
“Oi parcel tongue.” You call him which honestly leaves him quite shocked and at a loss for words. You notice his shocked expression and giggle which snaps him out of his state of shock.
This boy is kinda stupid guys..I don’t care what y’all say at all. When you call him that, he literally points at himself like “are you talking to me bruh .” Like obviously you nerd.
Anyways he asks if you guys should work at your dorm or his and you tell him neither. Instead you bring him to a wall behind the transfiguration courtyard and cast alohamora on the wall. The wall opens and he’s like what the fuck
You guys go in and he sees you’ve stashed a whole load of shite in it like snacks and a blanket and books. He honestly thinks it’s quite cute. “Did you make this place yourself?” He questions in which you reply with a bright smile and a nod. This causes the boy to blush. Heheh.
You guys start your work but honestly don’t get much done because you guys kept talking. Later He tells you it’s late and he “has to go” through stutters and just dips. “I-I’ll see you tomorrow y/n.” He says and you wave and stick your tongue out at him earring a smile from the raven haired boy.
You both meet up regularly at your spot, cautious to make sure no one ever found out about it. You enjoyed his company and he seemed to enjoy yours.
Unfortunately one day, he starts leaving earlier, then earlier until it’s “i can’t meet up today y/n.” “I have some work to finish y/n.” And suddenly he stops showing up.
You don’t think much of it until he starts to actively ignore you when u try to meet him or catch a glimpse of him in the hallways, only for him to run the other direction.
This hurt you and as time passed, you saw less and less of him every day. So today you decided to skip your classes and say fuck it. Which you had never done before but who even cares. Although You shrugged it off as nothing, you definitely wondered what you had done.
Feeling kind of upset about this, you Head to the transfiguration court so you can go and sit in the spot because quite frankly didn’t want to see anyone else.
You mumble out a “alohamora” and the wall opens to reveal a distressed Harry, sitting inside your hiding spot shaking. “I’m sorry y/n…” Your anger is replaced within seconds and a your expression softens
“Harry what happened..?” You say softly as you kneel down in front of him and hold his hand. You can feel the shakiness of his breath and you begin to worry slightly.
“I didn’t mean to run away from you, I was embarrassed..” he mumbles through soft cries. Your grip on his hand falters. “You- you were embarrassed being around me?”You say slightly hurt by his comment which causes you to let go of his hand completely.
His eyes instantly widen open and he begins to stumble over his words. “N-no! I didn’t mean it like that! I just..didn’t feel good enough for you. People saw me with you. You’re perfect, smart funny and everyone wants you so I couldn’t bare to ruin your chances at getting s-someone better..“
He goes on to tell you that people had told him that you were way out of his league and he didn’t stand a chance whatsoever.
Holy fucking shit. This causes you to just stare up at him intently and think. Why the hell would people say this? You’re angry for a moment but remember how Harry is feeling and so you hold his hands.
He’s honestly so appreciative of you and smiles softly. You don’t really think before doing this and cup his face about to kiss him, but you stop midway, nervous and wondering if it is the right time.
But then he takes away your hands and cups your face so you’re looking up at him. “I don’t care about them anymore, I simply want you.” And with that, he kisses you and you instantly kiss him back.
#Harry potter#Hogwarts#Harry potter imagine#hp#headcannons#Harry potter headcannons#potter#poa#prisoner of Azkaban
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Okay! Take 500 because my phone has deleted what I wanted to say 500 times and I’m back to say this.
I absolutely love your story, I get really attached to good stories, I basically obsess over them, I check your profile everyday 5 times probably more to re read it or see if you have updated it yet haha so I’m sorry in advance is this is too much.
Let’s begin: 1. The way you wrote this story is amazing! The clarity of each detail, the characters past present and future, the unborn child, the trauma, the angst, the love, the appointments, the reader, Harry, the families everything! I love it.
2. Olivia, piss off. Hahahah sorry but I get it if I was in her shoes but honestly the audacity of her 2 chapters ago I think with talking about someone’s else’s child…. No thanks. Jail! Haha… I get it I do but go away thanks.
2. The reader is my favorite, the details of her life her past her family(which I can’t stand and I LOWKEY hope their not that baby shower to ruin her day and come back) the connection with her child, I love how she stood up for herself to everyone especially Harry when he did that to her, how she has basically let him in after what he did to her and creating a comfortable loving life for this child and putting her issues aside to make this work. I love how she ripped Harry a new one and I hope she does it again when the angst happens with finding the ring and their relo and why he did that to her. (I can’t remember what chapter is was I keep seeing people talk about it thou!) I forgot what happens when she found it and does he know? Anyway…. I love her and I’m so excited for her baby shower the gifts she wants I love it. She loves the family and friends and I love how they all love her back it shows she was what Harry needed and loved and he fucked up haha. Can’t wait for her to rip him a new one thou but please end them in love again haha!
3. Harry. Jail. another one. Sweet loving boy your so stupid. To buy a ring then go emotionally cheat and then leave and then do this nope. I hope he fucks up again spills how he feels I hope everyone tells him what a idiot he is and fixes it! PLEASE. Also tbou I love how caring and attentive he is, and the man he has become having a child now and being there and being really raw and honest together and talking things about the baby. (Please admit your feelings sir) haha and also I hope he doesn’t loose it when he finds out readers partners don’t speak to her!!!! Or invite them. Nope. Anyway Harry fix your shit I want a happy ending sir.
4. WHENS THE NEXT CHAPTER and how are there only 6 left???????
5. I can’t wait for the baby shower 🥺🥺🥺🥺 but also the angst and the drama BUT THE ENDING THE BIRTH THE NAME THE LOVE THEY HAVE AND THE GETTING BACK TOGETHER.
6. I love how his friends love the reader! Shows she was really the one and the respect they all have for her.
7. Tell me more what’s happening I’m anxious, I’m too attached to this sorry I’m sorry for overloading you!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Tumblr has also been crazy for me darling so I truly appreciate from the bottom of my heart that you sent me this!!
BABY THAT IS SO NICE OF YOU!! STOP I ACTUALLY TEARED UP 🥹🥹🥹🥹 thank you for taking the time to visit my profile, I promise I try to update as soon as I have them ready for you and PLEASE DON’T APOLOGIZE! I really love to talk to you guys about everything and anything you want to talk either through my inbox or my messages, it makes me happy 🥰🥰🥰
1. This means so so much to me!! This is actually the first time I am writing a story, and I was kinda worried it would be bad, I will not lie but reading this makes me feel proud of myself not gonna lie and I love love love your eye for detail!!! Especially when you guys catch them and talk to me about them.
2. I’ll give you a little spoiler… this chapter reader will definitely send her off (respectfully because that’s who she is) but Olivia will have a whole new vision to discuss and think about, but I definitely agree she went over the line BUT we needed it, everything has a purpose 😉☺️
2. I wanted to create a reader with no face claim or details so that each and every one of you guys who read could give her the look you want to do it (don’t worry my love her family is not in the picture); I think that is what makes her a mother, the fact that she can put aside what she is feeling while thinking of her child HE DOESN’T KNOW SHE KNOWS ABOUT THE RING YET!!!! 🫣🫣🫣🫣 That conversation will be well raw and emotional, and I have a feeling you may hate me for a few but it will be worth it in the end I promise you
3. Harry needs a whack in the head, he is definitely having a reality check and he will have a conversation with both Sarah and Mitch that will help him think of some things he is so happy to be having a baby, and especially with her 🤍🤍🤍 oh he will LOOSE it when he learns about how her family has been with her (we’ve already seen how sad he was for her when she saw her mother with the bab
4. I DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW WE ONLY HAVE SIX LEFT I AM TEARING UP JUST THINKING ABOUT IT!!! New chapter may or may not come this weekend or sooner if it is done eeeeek 🫢🫢🫢🫢🫢
5. I am actually the most excited to write these last chapters, we have so many things coming up and they will be so so fun and emotional and fluffy and a lot of emotions!! It will be fun to have Anne and Gemma on the mix now 😍🥰😘🤪🫶🏼
6. She was or she is the one? 😏😏😏😏😏
7. Please don’t apologize!! You’re definitely not overloading me!! It makes me happy to talk to you so so much!! I’ll give you a “spoiler” of sorts, there will be some very important conversations that will change everything 🤔🤔🤔🤔
I really appreciate you coming to talk to me and I apologize for my late reply, I had a long weekend with so many things but I would loe to talk with you again!!🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍
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Story Pile: Willy's Wonderland
Hey, you heard about the Nicolas Cage Five Nights at Freddies knockoff movie that was made in a single month? Have you heard it’s good?
Spoiler Warning of course, I’m going to discuss things in this movie. But also, Content Warning! This is a movie with a lot of your typical schlock tropes, there’s a needless sex scene where you Don’t Get To See Anything, there’s a lot of splashy, gory, wet violence against angry animatronics.
A stranger arrives in town! Car trouble! Can’t afford to fix it! But he can work in the obviously haunted as hell town landmark to pay for it by morning! Well, time to walk into the creepy murder house and work out what about this town is darkly messed up right? Because this guy is now trapped in the Cursed As Hell building, the other story – of a group of plucky teens wanting to deal with the Double Heck Murder Haunted House of their town – intersects with his. People get stuck in a closed room as the ghosts of this town pick off these people one at a time!
The whole thing is set up exactly as you expect, and let’s be clear: There are surprises in this movie, but the surprises are mixed in amongst the least surprising structure. This is a Z-list slasher movie about watching a bunch of thinly-developed teenagers getting murdered in a bunch of ways by evil haunted animatronics, and also Nicolas Cage is there.
Oh and also, ACAB.
Just as an experience of watching this kind of movie, this is a fun one. Rather than try to key up a lot of intense fear and horror, the movie shows you people’s tension, their horror, but it stops short of really trying to make you feel it. Because this is a goofy movie and it knows it and it’s having fun doing slasher kills and playing little kid’s music in a threatening way.
I hear a lot of complaints about horror movies where the characters do things that don’t make sense in order to create situations of maximal tension. This is a complaint I often feel is overblown, where the more good horror movies I see the more often, people are operating on entirely reasonable information or failing to appreciate the danger they’re in. The question of the soundness of a horror movie isn’t ‘do they do stupid stuff,’ it’s ‘do the actions people take make sense?’ Like, do two people, while extremely high, isolate themselves?
Yeah.
They do.
It does make sense at the time: Because they’re not taking this thing seriously and don’t think things are as bad as the others do. And that’s kinda the heart of this whole genre of the story, which is about incorrect assumptions about the reality of the story you’re stuck in.
The whole thing is extremely American, incidentally. I obviously don’t how the rest of the world feels about it, but a kid’s eatery with incessant, repeating, overwhelming singing from animatronics feels very American to me, as does the way that you can be in a town and still in the middle of nowhere, or the way that you might show up in some small town and find the whole thing is basically a pagan cult built around a cursed organ of capitalism.
It’s interesting because normally, in my experience, curses, haunts like this, they tend to be built around the idea of the aged, of the ancient. Ghosts of the restless dead, tales of ancient crimes, there’s time necessary to a ghost, surely. But the scale of time here is so brief, so near — Willy’s Wonderland is a twenty year old sin, a thing from the early 00s that persists on long enough that one of its victims grew up into an adult.
These props are very physical – I’m sure there’s some computer graphics going on, just because by default, CG is cheaper than physical props, but the ways that Nicolas Cage interacts with these things has such a physicality to it. When he shoves it, bits of it move that he didn’t touch because of the flow throug of an elaborate mechanical system. Is the whole movie ‘Nicolas Cage murders disturbing puppets?’ probably not. But it feels like it.
It’s hard to not think about videogames watching Willy’s Wonderland. It’s hard to look at the long, slow, methodical monstages of cleaning a Pinball machine and not think in terms of games that match that same gameplay pattern. The montage is not doing something cool, it’s not to make you feel pumped up or cool, it’s clearing out a long, slow methodical experience of executing on something thoroughly. It’s often that the cleaning is setting up a combat arena that the player – er, that is the Janitor – then executes on. There’s also the combat arena, the use of breaks to divide the story into levels, and the ‘boss fight’ nature of things.
It creates another dimension to the story the teenagers are involved in. It’s not just that they fell into a haunted house with evil monsters in it. It’s that they fell into a videogame experience, in the fight between a player character who’s only going to succeed and the villainous force he only meaningfully exists to oppose. This is what it’s like to be dropped into a videogame between the protagonist and the villain and know that you have to hope the protagonist is going to line up with you, and sometimes he doesn’t and that’s just… oh well. In a lot of ways the story kicks you around to keep you from being on your feet for long.
Ultimately, Willy’s Wonderland is a pure movie in the degree to which it’s having fun with its dumb idea, and executing on it flawlessly. You get to see things cleaned up, you get to see things beaten down, you get to see terrible monsters do terrible monster kills, you will see some cleavage in an extremely unpleasant way, and you will be reminded that all the layers of power in systems that build around capitalism will put on a sad face emoji while they literally sacrifice people’s lives to the ongoing sense of order. All cops are bastards, and evil is worth fighting.
Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!
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meet me at our spot pt 2
Captain Syverson x WoC Reader
where YN and Sy can be them nasty ass selves.
warnings: smut, sex toy, daddy kink (kinda), unprotected sex, oral (kinda), cursing, angst
Part 1
song slightly inspired
sidenote: so the end of 2021 was hectic and went out with a fucking bang and then 2022 started with a fucking bang when I got sick and I’ve had no desire to write other then some little wip ideas. So here y’all go! This is might be shit but hey 🤷🏽♀️ Part 2 of meet me at our spot. I kinda started a part 3 but we’ll see.
I don’t give permission from my work to be used, copy, translated anywhere.
but if you fucks with it like it, love it, reblog it, comment all that good shit! ❤️
Her cheek pressed into the cool sheets, her mind fuzzy with lust. She didn’t even really remember how they got here or how many times they’ve cum between the both of them, but here they were. Her ass up and her face down, when they should be at their friends engagement party not here with her about to get her pussy stretched out.
She could feel the pressure build up at the cool tip that pressed slightly passed her tender lips. Oh he went there.
She groaned as he sat still behind her, not even pushing in any further much to her dismay.
“Fucking red neck huh?” Sy’s deep Texan drawl uttered behind her.
Was he still on this? She rolled her eyes before trying to turn her head before a hard hand landed on her left ass cheek. The loud smack bouncing off the walls of the boutique hotel. Their spot about 30 minutes outside of town. It was a cute hotel, mostly used by people passing through their modest town. It was the cleanest hotel within a 60 mile radius so it was sometimes used by locals also, for a little staycation, or in her case a dick appointment with the man she’s supposed to hate. If she was being honest with herself the only thing she truly hated about Sy was just how much she loved when he dicked her down and his stupid smile. It should be a fucking crime how good it was.
“Eyes forward” He demanded, not even letting her turn to face him.
Before she could speak he pushed in the dildo, her hum of appreciation reaching his ears. How’d he even find it? When did he have time to look for it? She was sure it was stuffed it in the bottom of her suitcase by the bathroom.
His cock strained as he worked the dildo into her cunt, feeling the tug and grip her walls had on the Clone-A-Willy he had got her a while back. The process in itself turned into them fucking non stop after he got clean up. It was a little gag gift for when he went over seas. Every time she used it she thought about the night they made it, her driving his hard cock into the large tube. The thought, it always pushed her over the edge when she was alone.
“Fuck” she muttered as her hips started to rock on the dildo. Unfortunately Sy didn’t plan to let her off that easy. He tsked at her as he slowed his movements.
“Who’d think a red neck got ya feeling this good baby?” He asked, the dildo moving in and out of her slowly.
She huffed and threw her head forward into the sheets.
“Syyyyyyy!” She whined while trying to grip more of the toy she’d become so found of, her irritation working through her quickly.
“Damnit, just fuck me!” She gritted. The Captain was silent and still behind her, not giving in.
“Not until you apologize baby, you hurt daddy’s feelings”
“Fine! I’m sorry!”
He tsked again. She looked at him with faux innocence.
“I’m sorry”
“Not good enough darlin” he said before he started to remove it.
“Sy!” She yelled, she wasn’t in the mood to be played with, why did she have to apologize now? He made her cum twice before he even pulled his mouth from her thighs tonight.
“I’m tired of you playin games with me suga, APOLOGIZE!! you spoiled fucking brat” His thick accented voice boomed, the sudden loudness making her heart skip a beat. He can’t even help himself, he’s so woken up he shows her some mercy by shoving the toy back in, working it into her core as his thumb found her pearl, his rough skin rolling over it with ease from her wetness.
“Oh fuuuck daddy! I’m so sorry….please…please keep fucking me” She begged as her cheek dug back into the sheets. His dark laugh worked it’s way down her arched spine and sent a chill through her.
“That’s what I thought baby”
Without notice he pulls the dildo out again, the lewd pop it made as it bobbed in his hand making pre cum leak from his waiting cock.
She doesn’t get a moment to react as he thrust his aching cock into her dripping cunt. He drove into her, his hands a bruising grip on her meaty hips.
The Clone-a-Willy doesn’t stand a chance, though it’s a clone it’s not the same. The size large they brought didn’t even fit all of him, they didn’t need the full extra large but he def needed a bit more room to capture the full goodness of the Captain. Though it could never capture the heat of his hot cock driving into her, the slapping of his heavy sack against her, her ass bouncing on him, their skin slapping.
“Oh fuck sooooo good” She moaned out into the dimly lit room.
“Who’s fucking you this good?”
“You daddy, you are”
“Hmmmm that’s right, you love this red neck dick??” He asked with thrusts to accentuate is point.
“Yes yes, I love your red neck dick”
Sy’s steady his emotions trying to pull himself back in, but it was too late the words leaving his mouth before he could stop himself.
“You love this red neck?” He asked, his voice full of emotions they’ve never dared acknowledge.
YN paused for a moment taken off guard. She slowly turns to stare at Sy who almost comes to a stop. His thrust are slow to allow her a moment to focus on what he asked. Fuck why did he even ask her this?!
“……yes I do, I love you Sy” She voices, their eyes locked on each other. If the room was hot and heavy before it was blazing now with their love confessed so openly, he smiles before pulling his cock out fully. His mushroom tip stroking her lips, nudging her clit before thrusting back into her, to the tilt.
“Oh shit!” She gasps as Sy fucked into her with a new vigor then before. His spirits high at her confession, his body tight with desire, with hope. She’s close and Sy can feel her tighten, if it was even possible for her to be any tighter
“Oh fuck, this tight little pussy gonna make me cum too quick” He groans. Sy had only been back from deployment about 2 weeks and YN had just flew in from Utah 3 days ago. Not leaving them much time to meet up with the demanding up coming wedding.
“Fuck fuck fuck” She chanted as Sy felt her body start dripping more slick, he tossed her the dildo, watching like a predator as she picked it up, licking up the wet length of it before slipping it into her mouth. Her eyes glued to his as she moaned at the taste of herself.
“You gonna take what daddy gives you?” Sy asked, this thrust speeding up and becoming slopping.
“Yes, please please” she said quickly as she popped the fake cock out her mouth before shoving it back in, she gaged as the toy all but disappeared.
The pleasure swirled in her stomach as she fell forward, the cord within her snapping as Sy’s heavy body followed. Her mouth falls open in a silent cry as she drops the dildo.
Sy twists her face to pull her into a passionate kiss. He holds her body down as he fucks into her wet heat.
“ugh shit, that’s right, take it” He demands. He’s body goes tight with pleasure as he cums.
“So good taking all this cock, now take all this cum” He says in her ear, his hot breathe fanning her neck as his hot cum paints her walls. His body rutting into hers, ridding out his orgasm.
She moans as their bodies roll slowly together trying to prolong the bliss.
“Fuck baby, I can feel how full you are of me, full of my cock and cum”
She whimpers under as she feels the build up within her, it happens quickly as she cums again. Her face full of pleasure as she limply lays there under his weight as her orgasm rocks through her. Her body jerking.
“Shit baby” He moans as he sucks on her neck before pulling out and rolling off her. It takes them some time to catch their breathing. YN curls into Sy as she feels the heaviness of her eyelids slowly taking over. Here in the safety of a hotel room she’s allowed to enjoy him.
“Tell them about us” Sy says softly breaking the silence in the room. He feels YN body go still in his embrace. His heart drops just a little.
“Sy, I can’t-“
“What’s the problem? You said you loved me” He argued, his irritation quickly building.
“I…I do but-“ She sputtered.
“Then tell them or I’m done” He sitting up and moving off the bed. He knows he should clam down but he can’t at this point. “I really don’t understand, the fucking, the arguing and the chasing was cool for the past 2 years, I knew you liked that shit but you really just don’t want anything serious with me”
YN jerks up, holding the sheet to her chest.
“Sy! You can’t be serious! Why do we have to tell anyone!” She argues back. He ocean blue eyes blazing as he turns to her, his pants already pulled on.
“Fucking hell woman! I can’t fucking act like I hate you anymore!”
“Sy!-“
“Forget it. Should’ve known your upitty ass couldn’t be with someone like me” He said defeated as he continues to get dress in a hurry needing for the first time since they meet, to get away as far as possible from her.
“Damnit Sy! Just listen-“
She was cut off by the hotel room door slamming. It took her a moment to register what was happening. She quickly jumped up to look for some clothes to throw on.
“Fucking damnit Sy!” She yelled as she stumbled around the room trying to find anything. She snatched a forgotten shirt of his off the floor before throwing it on and rushing into the slightly cool Texas night. The hotel had a motel setting so the moment you walked out your hotel room you were greeted with paved walk way and gravel leading to a open area with fire pits and wooden lawn chairs. It was almost a camp setting and the vast open Texas landscape behind it. There were some groups of people around the fires, eyeing her.
She was sure they heard everything from their fucking to arguing. She couldn’t worry about that. She had to find Sy before he left. She ran down the walk way toward the parking lot. This wasn’t the smartest idea Sy would have told her, something could bite her bare feet.
SMACK!
Her body fell backwards as she ran into someone.
“There you are! Omg so it is true!” Ashley squealed, “I just seen Sy”.
Her face filled with concern once her hardly dressed friend looked up, her face pained and covered in tears.
“You seen Sy? Where is he? Did he leave? I…I need to talk to him” YN rambled on, looking around her friend trying to find any sight of the large bull.
“Woah woah slow down, he left! I seen him pulling off in his truck a few moments ago”
“Fuck!” YN yelled as she stomped her bare foot, cursing when she realized she stepped on something, “ouch!”.
“Ok what is going on?- nevermind, you have to calm down! Take me to your room” Ashley demanded while grabbing her friends arm and walking them towards the rooms.
Her body filled with dread with every limping step back to the room where things were so blissful only moments ago. She needed to get to Sy, she had to explain to him.
🥲
#SY#SYVERSON x READER#SYVERSON X YN#SYVERSON X YOU#CAPTAIN SYVERSON X READER#CAPTAIN SYVERSON X YN#CAPTAIN SYVERSON X YOU#HERNY CAVILL#SYVERSON SMUT#SYVERSON FIC#SYVERSON FANFIC#HENRY CAVILL SMUT#SYVERSON X WOC READER#SYVERSON X BLACK READER#HENRY CAVILL X WOC READER#HENRY CAVILL X BLACK READER#UGHWRITES#UGHSY
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My Father's daughter pt1
Summary: After the disastrous gala, you get an unexpected visit from your “mother”and her family.
A/n: Hello so I feel like the mom character should have a name, so from here on out, your mother's name is Christine. Also i hope y’all like this one cause i feel like it’s going kinda slow.
Growing up was rough.��
Because your mother decided that you and Tony weren’t worth the effort, you had to mature pretty quickly. You’re father had fallen into this deep depression, where he can barely take care of himself. You had to make sure that your father woke up on time for meetings, made sure he ate, drank water, and inevitably had to make sure that he didn’t choke on his own vomit when he got shitfaced.
Needless to say, you were very mature for nine years old.
But then, a light in the form of Virginia Potts came into your lives. She saw the way you had taken on the role of Tonys caregiver, and was heartbroken. At first she thought it was just pure negligence from Tonys end, but as she spent more time with the both of you, she realized that Tony loved you more than anything in this world. So she stuck around.
At first you were weary of her. Not really trusting towards older woman, or motherly figures as you were scorned once. But she never gave up. Not on you or your father. No, she stayed even when you would run away on under her watch. She stayed even when you would try and steal your fathers cars for a quick joy ride through Manhattan. And she stayed when you broke down after your mother had people come pick up all her belongings from the Tower, not bothering to come herself and say goodbye.
She didn’t leave. She held you as you screamed and sobbed as the men packed away everything she owned. She held you even when you squirmed and scratched at her arms to get away. And she held you as you gave up and silently cried then eventually fell asleep, tightly clutching her midsection.
That's when you started to come around. You stopped running away whenever your father would leave you with her, wouldn’t talk back when she asked you to pick up a mess, and you even helped her out when some creep intern decided to put the moves on her during a company meeting.
It wasn’t until your father went missing when you truly saw her as someone you could trust. It was the worst three months of your life. Another parent gone suddenly from your life. You were relocated to mansion in Malibu, a big empty place where the halls echoed as you walked through them. ANd you had thought that Pepper was going to stay back in New York, she wasn’t your assistant after all. You were shocked to see her at the airport, suitcase in tow with a determined look.
Seeing the look of surprise on your face she stated,
“ I’m not going to let you do this alone.” ,then grabbed your hand to lead you through terminal.
You were grateful that she only acknowledged your tears when you were in the privacy of the private jet. She rubbed your back as you let the tears run down your face. The whole three months that you were in her care, your perspective changed.
She asked about your day, made sure you ate, tucked you in and held you whenever you had nightmares. With in that three month period, Pepper showed you what it was like to have a mother again. And she never let you down.
Then your dad came home, and your family was complete. You were ecstatic when they started dating and even more so when your father announced that they were going to get engaged.
And even though it took years, you finally trusted Pepper enough to see her as your mother. You were happy.
Which is why you were extra pissed when you came home from your mother-daughter day and saw your biological mother with Bruce Wayne in the common room. They were sitting on the couch and were getting glared at by the Avengers that were home from missions,(Natasha, Steve, and Sam).
“Dad, what’s going on?” You ask, looking past the hopeful and curious gazes from the couch.
“Kid, I think you better sit down.” Tony said through slightly clenched teeth. His face was grim, as he looked past you and made eye contact with Pepper. They had a silent conversation with their eyes, and she nodded. She squeezed your shoulders and took your bags, then with a quick glare she had the rest of the room cleared except for the four of you.
You took a seat across from your mother, Christine and Bruce. She sent a smile your way and was met with a blank look, “ Dad, what’s going on?”
He sighs and makes his way over to were you were seated, “I don’t know, Christine, maybe you should explain.”
His tone indicated that he knew why she was here, but wanted her to sound stupid. Pepper came over and sat on the t other side of you.
Christine glanced at the Pepper and cleared her throat, “Perhaps should be kept between family?”
You scoffed, “ Considering that Pep has been around longer than you ever have been, you have no right to decide who’s family to me and whos not.”
You see Pepper sit up straighter with pride and mother slump.
You sigh, “ What are you doing here?”
She looks at Bruce, who you honestly forgot was still there, “ Y/n...I want you to come home with us.”
A silence filled the room. You felt Pepper tense up at the words and saw your dads and clench into a fist.
You however just stared in utter disbelief.
“What.”
“I know it's far fetched.” Your mother starts, ignoring your scoff, “ But i really do think it would benefit you to come to Gotham with us, and get to know your siblings!”
You were seething.
“My siblings? You mean the family that you left us for.”
“Y/n that’s not-”
“No, You think that you can just waltz into my home, after nine years of absolutely no contact, no birthday cards, not even a text to let me know that you were alive, and expect me to what? Just welcome you into open arms? Leave MY family and go live with you?? Really?” You say with a scoff.
“Y/n there is a ot of factors you are not considering” Bruce chimes in for the first time.
You turn your glare onto him, “ And what you’re just okay with the fact that your wife has a whole other child who she just fucking abandoned?
“Language.” Your father mutters causing you to roll your eyes.
“Well, I can’t say this didn’t come as a shock.” Bruce states, “ But, I also know that I love my wife, and that I would welcome you to our home.”
Your throat was hurting with the amount if times you’ve scoffed, “ And I appreciate that, really, but I would never leave my family. Especially not for her.”
Christine's eyes start to tear up, “ Y/n please, a girl needs her mother.”
Those words triggered the anger inside you. Your blood boiled and you can tell that she knew she messed up.
“Oh? Is that right? What about when I was six and I waited for you to come and take me to that mother's day dance, only you never showed up and I went with my nanny. Or when I was eight and you promised that you would take me to get my ears pierced but then you got a phone call and left so dad took me?”
You saw the tears run down her face as Bruce looked like he was thinking about something.
“Oh and what about when I was nine. I was nine and you promised to take me to the park. You remember that? Cause I do.”
Tony tenses next to you, knowing what you were about to say.
“Y/n I can never apologize enough but-” You cut her off
“I was NINE and your promised to take me to the park” You continue, “ But you left. And this time you didn’t come back.” You finish and lean forward, “ Tell me, why the HELL would you think that I would want to come live with you and your fucking family?”
The room was once again engulfed in a tense silence. The only sounds were the sniffling of your mother.
“You’re my baby girl...my petal. I love you and always have...” She starts, “ My biggest regret is leaving you that day and you have to know that Y/n.”
You feel tears start to rise, a knot in your throat.
Peppers hand squeezes yours and you calm down and say
“Then you’re gonna have to learn to live with it.”
Then you stand up and walk right out of the room. Leaving the adults and marching straight to the training rooms to let out some steam.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Back in the common room, a tense silence weighed on the adults. It seemed like no one knew exactly what to say, or they didn’t want to speak up.
Only when Tony cleared his throat did Christine speak up again.
“I didn’t come to cause any trouble.” she said quietly.
“What did you think would happen?”Tony says crossing his arms, “Surely you didn’t expect her to leave with you?”
“No Tony I didn’t. I just thought she would’ve considered it. I am still her mother.”
Pepper snorted, causing the attention to turn to her.
Christine's eyes narrowed, “ And who exactly are you to my daughter?”
Tony tensed, knowing not to mess with Pepper especially when it came to you. He sat back and waited for mamma bear to come out.
Pepper sent a glare her way, “ Me? I’m just the woman who has been raising her for the past nine years.”
Before Christine can get another word on Pepper continued on,
“ I don’t know who you think you are, but you have put Y/n and Tony through a lot of turmoil throughout the years. And now you think you can come in here and demand forgiveness from them?? That’s not happening.”
Bruce started to speak up, “I understand the pain you're family must have gone through, and I am sorry about my...unknowing participation, but Christine is willing to work on her relationship with her daughter.”
Now Tony started speaking, “why? Why now? Y/n is practically an adult, she doesn’t need you anymore. Not like she did before.”
“I’m her mother.” Christine said stubbornly, “ She’ll always need her mother.”
“And she has one. Just not you.” Pepper said standing from her spot, “ I think it’s time for you two to leave. I have to go comfort MY daughter.”
And with that Pepper made her way to the door where you disappeared, knowing exactly where you are. But before she left, she turned and said
“It was lovely to meet you Mrs. Wayne”
and left, leaving Tony to show them to the elevator.
#tony stark x daughter!reader#tony stark x teen!reader#tony stark x reader#tony is a good dad#pepperpotts#pepper is a momma#marvel x reader#marvel#poc reader#avengers x teen!reader#reader insert#crossover#bruce wayne x reader#batfam x batsis#batfam x reader#dc comics x reader#marvel and dc
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Hello there
Can I please get the straw hats reaction to reader who is an marine admiral quitting the marine and wanting to join the them
Gender neutral please
Thanks for the request!
Luffy
He is ecstatic
Another crew member that he can hold dear to his heart
Unlike most of the crew, you came willingly
Of course, this caused the crew to be suspicious, but Luffy is bouncing around with excitement
I mean he already has two people in the navy who like him, what could go wrong by accepting an Admiral into his crew?
“Show me that move again!” He will constantly be watching you train, and ogle in awe at the amount of strength you have
But be warned, once you show him it once, you’re gonna have to do it again
You’re gonna have to get used to the chaotic nature of Luffy and his “plans” because it isn’t structured like the Navy
But that also gives you more freedom to do what you want… as long as you help/save Luffy on the way
He’ll kinda treat you like a new toy, and after that wears off he’ll treat you like the rest of the crew
Don’t delude yourself though, he is still your captain, and when in desperate situations he will get serious with you (another thing you have to get used to)
8/10 is not bad, but he needs to chill a little— can’t blame him though, you are an ex-navy admiral
Zoro
Opposite of Luffy
Not excited, but suspicious and a little angry
Sure it may be nice to have one less “enemy” and one more crew member, but he is on edge about your allegiance
You could be a spy for all he knows or an underhand way for the navy to kill Luffy and his crew
And he won’t be having any of that
He’ll be taking fewer naps, and opt to watch you instead. He’ll always be tense around you. He’s getting ready in case you attack
He won’t say anything since his captain already accepted you, but that doesn’t mean he’ll welcome you
Don’t think that trying to suck up to him will help you either. He’ll accept whatever you offer (ex: money for a sword), but he’ll only see that as you trying to gain his trust to backstab him later
The only way for you to gain his trust is to a) give them your backstory and why you quit the navy and joined them b) Stay with them long enough to just naturally become a member (as well as help them in ways that hurt the navy— several times) c) nearly die trying to save someone from the crew
After one or a combination of all of those things, he will no longer question you and relax and open up a bit
You’ll know that the first mate trusts you when he’ll share a cup of sake and take a nap— right in front of you
3/10 the only good this is that he’s not cutting your gut open
Nami
She is also suspicious of you too, but she hides it better than Zoro
Instead, she’ll leave the watching to Zoro, and go to Robin to discuss her worries (they are such an iconic duo)
Nami knows that Luffy will accept anyone onto the crew, so she feels responsible for making sure it’s in the best interests of the Strawhats
She’ll weigh the pros and cons carefully and advise everyone to be careful, but at the end of the day Luffy listens to no one
She won’t outright shun you, but she’ll be wary around you
That is until… you give her money
This tactic may not work on Zoro, but it will work on her
All of a sudden you’re her new favorite person
Just sit out on the deck with Nami and Robin and listen to Nami talk about how stupid the rest of the crew is
If you make cool-headed decisions and can stop the crew from getting into disasters, Nami will forever be thankful
It might take a while for her to warm up, but when she does (or when you give her money) be prepared for a feisty friend
7/10 can be unwelcoming, but it doesn’t take much to win her over
Usopp
Like everyone except Luffy, he is wary (and mostly scared, you could beat him up)
Seeing his nervous and pessimistic nature, he would not believe that you are on their side
He’ll try to act cool and distrusting, but once he sees you do something funny he’ll buckle
Bad people can’t be funny - Usopp. At least that’s what he seems to think
If you mess around with him, Chopper, and Luffy you’re good
No suspicions after
He’ll show you his inventions and will prank you from time to time
He’ll welcome you with wide arms
(He’s just glad that he doesn’t have to fight someone so powerful)
He act’s pretty normal
He just treats you like any other crew member
8/10 fun, until he tests out a new invention on you
Sanji
Isn’t really on edge
He knows that he can’t change Luffy’s mind so he won’t bother trying
Of course, he’ll be careful, but he trusts that the crew can handle it if something does arise
As long as you appreciate his food you’re fine
Just don’t waste it
Because if you do, that’s when his unwelcoming side comes out
But I don’t think that’ll be a problem, because his food is amazing
6/10 he is pretty indifferent
Chopper
Is nervous, but if Luffy gives the okay, then it's okay
...right?
Is confused on why you would quit the navy and join a pirate group (just like the rest of them), but he doesn’t ask why
If you get hurt, ad go to him he’ll treat you
Then compliment him and he’ll get all gushy
The moral of the story— just compliment him and you’ll be fine
Hang out with him, Usopp, and Luffy—> and the goofy trio will become a quartet
Make him Cotton-candy and he’ll let you pat his head
It truly isn’t too different from how he treats everyone else, aside from the rocky beginning
He is amazed at how strong you are
(And then he thinks about how difficult things could’ve been if you stayed in the navy)
8/10 nothing to complain about here
Robin
Isn’t on edge
After all, didn't she join similarly?
And she knows that Luffy will do what he wants to do, so she’ll just stick to reading her books
I feel like she would be the most welcoming (without having to do anything on your part)
You can come to her and talk about how you feel like you are somewhat an outcast in the group, and she’ll listen and sympathize
You guys could relate to a lot of things
This doesn't mean she isn’t watching you
She is very observant due to the way she grew up, and old habits die hard
But don’t be too sad, she watches everyone (mostly to make sure no one gets hurt)
If you ask her she’ll give you tips on how to win over each of the crew members
She would know because she had to do it
10/10 super helpful and welcoming
Franky
I can see him being suspicious, but not caring
Again, no one can control Luffy, so he’s just gonna do whatever he usually does
He’ll let you watch him, and help him out with whatever
He’ll joke around, and act pretty normal
He’s still suspicious but he is too super to care
Because he also trusts that the crew can handle anything if things go south
If you can connect him with Vegapunk, I think you would be his favorite person
That’s because he can make more beams
Giving him cola would also help ease his suspicions
6/10 Like Sanji he’s indifferent
Brook
Will quirk a non-existing eyebrow, but your joining would not be the strangest thing he’s seen
He’s gonna try to be welcoming and get you settled since many other members are still on edge around you
He knows that Luffy wants you on the crew, so he’ll do everything in his power to try and make you as comfortable as possible
But he will not hesitate to protect the crew if he thinks you are up to something
His loyalty lies with them, and not you— yet
He can’t afford to lose his crew again, don't be upset about it
But after sailing around for a while, he’ll accept you into the family
I can see you two having tea time, while he asks you what it was like being a navy admiral
And he will admire the fact that you were able to attain such a high rank and respect you as such
9/10 is not bad, and he’ll hide his suspensions well
Jinbei
Does not think it’s a smart idea to accept you on the crew
And he will voice his opinions
But don't worry, Luffy won’t listen anyway
Seeing as he is an ex-warlord of the sea, he would probably somewhat know you. Or at least heard about you before
He just doesn't trust that an admiral would drop their position to sail with the Strawhats
He won’t show his distrust like Zoro (he’s more mature than that), but that doesn't mean it’s not there
He just wants whatever is in the best interest of Luffy
But what is done is done, so he does try his best to push aside his preconceived notions and get to know you and welcome you
Like Zoro, he wouldn’t trust you until you prove your loyalty
I can see him joining the Brook tea times, and listening in on what life was like as and Admiral
And if you’re lucky he’ll share what it was like on Fishman island
8/10 nothing to complain about, other than him being a bit cold
#one piece#one piece imagine#one piece self insert#one piece senario#one piece x reader#platonic#luffy#monkey d. luffy#zoro#roronoa zoro#nami#usopp#god usopp#sanji#vismoke sanji#chopper#nico robin#franky#cyborg franky#soul king brook#brook one piece#luffy x reader#zoro x reader#sanji x reader#nami x reader#usopp x reader#robin x reader#nico robin x reader#franky x reader#brook x reader
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hello love! Can I please request a somewhat spicy sub!chat noir x reader? Maybe where the reader is kinda feeling him up and leaving him hickeys and he’s a purring and moaning mess? Maybe he’s begging her to keep going and who is she to say no to such a sweet baby kitty? If that’s not too much of course😌 tysm
Hello bb ! I hope that this satisfied your sub! Chat needs hehe (i know it satisfied mine so) I really love how this came out and maybe i’m willing on continuing another part from here) Thank you so much for this request ! <3
Pairing: Chat Noir X Reader
Warnings: NSFW, characters are aged up in college here :), swearing.
Tags: Sub!chat, Dry humping, begging.
This is how it all went down.
He saved you from an akumatized villain.
He flirted.
You flirted back.
Then you guys started hooking up.
You didn’t understand why Chat Noir would do this with a civilian but like every other person on this planet, he has his needs.
He would knock in a pattern on your window so you knew it was him and you would let him in, you’d talk for a bit, ask each other about your day until one of you breaks and pushes the other on the bed or against the wall.
He was good in bed.
Very good.
You knew you’d never grow tired of this affair.
To top it all off after you both finished you’d sit in bed and talk about all sorts of things.
Aliens, Conspiracy theories about the media, gossip about people and sometimes he’d even play Mario Kart with you.
There were no strings attached.
You both made it clear from day one. There couldn’t be.
You both didn’t have the time for a relationship, you both didn’t have the energy for one so you simply stuck to the title ‘fuck buddies’ until one of you decides to back out.
This night was different though.
A smile didn’t appear on your face when you hear the familiar knock on your window because you were stuck cussing at your computer screen and rubbing your head in frustration.
You had an essay to explain Shakespeare and his works but for some reason you kept deleting all that you’ve typed because you couldn’t put your thoughts into words.
He knocked again, quickly this time.
“I know you’re there, beautiful.” His voice was muffled through the glass.
You huffed and put your laptop on the bed before stomping to the window.
You opened it and were met by the hero grinning at you.
You, on the other hand, didn’t have a pleased look on your face.
“I’m not in the mood Chat.” You state and were about to close the window again but he held it to stop you from closing it.
“Ma Belle, did I do something wrong?” He asks, a frown on his face.
You shake your head. “No, I just have this stupid essay that I’ve been trying to type out for the past four hours.” You sigh and make your way back to your bed, rubbing your temples.
He follows you inside and closes the window behind him.
“Maybe I can ease your stress for a little bit.” He says, a smirk on his face.
You simply shoot him a glare and he chuckles nervously, putting his hands up in defense.
“Okay. No sex. Got it.” He sits beside you and looks at what you’re typing.
“You know you can leave right? If you’re horny you can go to your other side bitches.” You say as you type away, your eyes glued onto your screen.
Chat purses his lips, like he held himself back from saying something and shook his head.
“Maybe I came here for some company.” He says.
You snort and chuckle. “Yeah right.” You say sarcastically and look at him, but he wasn’t smiling.
You gulp and your smile fades away.
Did he seriously come over because he feels lonely?
His face was leaning closer to your and you were leaning closer too.
No. You had to finish this stupid essay.
“Stop distracting me kitty.” You whisper and kiss his nose quickly before looking back at the screen.
He groans and falls back on the bed, playing with the pillow.
“I can help you if you’re writing about Shakespear, I wro-“ He stops himself from talking and you turn around, quirking your eyebrow at him.
“You wrote an essay like this?” you questioned.
He visibly gulps and shakes his head.
“Do you go to college?” You question further.
He chuckles nervously. “You know I can’t tell you that mon ange.”
You stare at him for a moment before looking back at your screen. You decided not to pry further, he seemed uncomfortable talking about his personal life and you decided to respect his wishes.
Your phone started to ring and you see that it’s your friend from college Marinette.
You pick it up.
“Hey Mari.” You say as you type.
“The deadline has been changed to next week!” She exclaims happily.
You were filled with rage.
“what?” You deadpanned.
“Yeah apparently some students asked to change it because they were having difficulties so he changed it to next week instead of tomorrow morning.”
“I literally asked him to extend the deadline three days ago and he refused. I swear to god I want to kill this son of a bitch” You groan and clutch your fist in anger.
She sighs, “I know girl, but hey at least you’ve got more time on your hands!”
Marinette always tried to be positive when she could and you appreciated that but honestly you needed to vent. “Yeah, thanks for letting me know Mari.”
“No problem! Bonne nuit.”
“Bonne nuit.” You sigh out before you end the call.
You groan out in frustration and shut your laptop.
“What happened?” Chat asks.
You get out of your bed and start to pace around.
“I have been working on this essay for the past four days, knowing very well how stupid it was that the deadline was only five days for a two thousand word essay on fucking Shakespeare and when I ask to extend the deadline, the son of a bitch replies with an angry email saying theres enough time and that im just lazy.” You finally breathe and chat was about to say something but you cut him off.
“But when his privileged French pupil ask him to extend the deadline of course he agrees and you know what, I think it was Adrien fucking Agreste who asked him because hes the fucking pretty model boy who has everybody on their knees for him just because of his high status.” You sit down and without realising you start talking about a different subject.
“Yeah, I get it, everybody wants to fuck the pretty blond guy with money, I would too but at least I don’t look like a thirsty bitch every time he talks to me, some girls in my damn college have literally no chill and I swear to god one day I want to make him my bitch, make him weak for me to show those bitches what i’m capable of.” You were breathing heavily at this point and your face was flushed red.
You always thought Adrien was attractive, everyone did but whenever he talked to you, you responded normally to him unlike other people who constantly laughed at everything he said to try and get in his pants.
He was a good guy but he was too well known for his own good and it made you uninterested in him.
You thought he was out of your league, that’s what those french bitches told you at least.
They belittled you just because you’re foreign - you knew they were just jealous that Adrien was always the one to come up to talk to you unlike them.
That was enough ranting for now.
You look at Chat who was staring at you wide eyed, his cheeks glowing red.
“You don’t need to say anything, it’s just-“ You look down at his body and notice something. “Chat..why are you hard?”
He crosses his legs over the other awkwardly to try and hide it. “W-What are you talking about?”
You stand up and walk over to him and he walks back until he’s pressed against the wall.
“What? You get hard thinking about me making someone weak?” You whisper to him and he looks away from you. “You want me to do the same to you kitty?” You kiss his ear and he shudders, nodding slowly.
Your hand moves down from his chest to his belly and your lips move from his ear to his jaw.
Chat tilts his head back and a frenzy of purrs emerge from his parted lips.
He was aroused, in a state of euphoria even with your small, light touches.
Your hand moved lower until it reached down to the tent he had in his suit.
It was painfully tight for him.
Your fingertips lightly brushed over the bulge and he cussed under his breath.
“Fuck.” He whispered while you continued to touch his clothed erection and lick up his neck.
He kept purring and moaning at the same time. You loved seeing him worked up like this.
Your lips latched on to a certain spot on his neck and you sucked on it harshly, nibbling at it when you got the chance and putting more pressure with your hand against him.
He was a mess, grinding against your hand and breathing heavily.
“Ma Belle – merde,” he couldn’t even speak without stuttering. “I want more, please.” He begs and you look up at him, noticing the red mark on his neck and feeling very pleased with yourself.
“More what, kitty?” You whisper and remove your hand from where it was.
He groans in frustration.
“More – I-I want you to touch me more.” He pleads. “Please.”
You smirk at him and pull him to your bed, pushing him back on the bed and getting on his lap.
Before he could react you put your lips on his and start to grind on top of him.
He moans against your lips and throws his head back, holding onto your hips for support.
You could tell that he wanted to take his clothes off but you wanted him to come right then and there.
Your hips move against his, the friction pleasing you the same, causing you to moan but grin at the worked up blond beneath you.
“Shit, shit I’m close.” He whimpers and closes his eyes, moving his own hips with yours to get more pleasure.
It felt so good but you knew you couldn’t finish with him, maybe you could continue after but your hopes disappeared when you heard the beeping coming from his ring.
“Mon Ange I-“
“Shut up and come for me kitty.” You groan out and quicken your movements causing him to part his lips and hold onto you.
His body shakes and he spews out cuss words in French while he comes undone, thrusting his hips up and whimpering.
You’re both breathing heavily, looking at each other both dazed and tired.
You were about to lean in for another kiss but his ring starts beeping furiously.
You hop off of his lap and watch as he groans while he gets up, uncomfortably moving because of the mess he made between his legs.
“I’m sorry I cant finish you off.” He says, pouting at you.
“It’s okay Chat, I think you’ve done enough today.” You wink at him and he chuckles bashfully.
“Until next time Mon ange!” He says and opens the window.
“Bye Kitty.” You blow him a kiss and with that he’s off.
Maybe you could actually finish yourself off to the thought of him being a mess for you but before you could even do anything, your phone beeps and you see a notification from Adrien Agreste.
“Did you hear that they moved the deadline for the Shakespeare essay? Pissed me off tbh.”
It was like he knew you accused him of something and to top it all off this was the first time he’s ever really texted you.
It was weird but maybe you shouldn’t think much of it.
Right?
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BnHA 323: “I Don’t Know How to Explain to You That You Should Care About Other People”
Previously on BnHA: Kacchan was all, “Izuku, I’m sorry.” Bakugou Stans were all, “[sobs for a week straight and tearfully awards him the Nobel Prize for character development].” Deku was all, “[faints in Kacchan’s arms].” Iida was all, “[trying to decide if Ochako genuinely tried to kill him a few minutes ago].” Horikoshi was all, “NO TIME FOR HUGS WE MUST GET BACK TO UA.” The civilians holed up at U.A. were all, “WE TOOK A VOTE AND DECIDED THAT WE’RE ALL GOING TO BE JERKS ABOUT THIS AND MAKE A BIG FUSS ABOUT YOU LETTING DEKU BACK INTO THE SCHOOL.” Deku was all “[stands there looking like he expected nothing less and breaking my heart more and more with each passing moment].” Ochako was all, “that does it, looks like I’m gonna have to do something about this... next chapter, that is.”
Today on BnHA: Flashback!Rat Principal is all “I just want you all to know that I spent nine million dollars turning U.A. into a giant Battleship-style grid that can burrow underground and zoom around in a giant subway maze because Horikoshi lacks a grounded understanding of both civil engineering and economics.” Back in the present day, Jeanist is all, “EVERYONE TAKE HEED, MY COMRADES AND I HAVE DEEMED IT EXPEDIENT TO CONVEY THIS AUSPICIOUS YOUTH BACK TO THIS STRONGHOLD. WE ANTICIPATE THAT WE MAY DEPEND UPON YOUR GOODWILL AND ACQUIESCENCE TO THESE TERMS.” The civilians were all, “NO.” Ochako was all, “EMPATHY, MOTHERFUCKERS, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!” The civilians were all, “oh shit.” Anyway so Ochako is a giant badass, but I’m a little worried that she’s going to get struck by lightning. Please come down from there.
so before we start this chapter, I would just like to apologize for having not posted the ch 321 recap yet, and would like to reassure everyone, and especially Iida who is staring at me with Sad Wobbly Guilt Trip Eyes, that I will get to that as soon as I can
OMG FLASHBACK??
yes please Horikoshi please show us more of class 1-A and their Deku intervention strategy jam sessions
oh dear
Iida you are too pure and good for this cruel world. [sprays the U.A. civilians with a water bottle] NO. BAD CIVILIANS! NO OSTRACIZING SCARED AND EXHAUSTED CHILDREN IN THE HOUSE
EXCUSE ME RAT PRINCIPAL WHAT’S WITH THESE MIXED MESSAGES
???
RAT PRINCIPAL: he’s free to return to us at any time!!
ALSO RAT PRINCIPAL: but it’s too risky for him to return to us
?? ??????? ?????????????????????
so now he’s going on about how strong the U.A. Barrier is, and how it’s comparable to the defensive capabilities of Tartarus. this would have sounded a lot more impressive before chapter 297 lol
OH!!!! HELLO, WHAT’S THIS!!!
A TIMELY CALLBACK TO A CERTAIN MYSTERIOUS EVENT WHICH HASN’T BEEN REFERENCED SINCE USJ? [U.A. TRAITOR MUSIC INTENSIFIES]
so now Rat Principal says he upgraded U.A.’s security systems with his own “modifications”, whatever the fuck that means. I mean look, I’ve been saying for a long time now that U.A. is the best place for everyone to hole up, don’t get me wrong. but that was mostly on account of there not being any other practical alternatives. but you’re making it sound like you figured out a way to actually make it Decay-proof or some wild shit like that
-- hold up, DID YOU ADD A FORCE FIELD. DID YOU TRICK THIS SCHOOL OUT WAKANDA-STYLE YOU CRAZY MARSUPIAL. HOLY SHIT. because that would actually be perfect
LMAO
WHAT KIND OF GALAXY BRAIN BULLSHIT. “NAH THERE’S NO NEED FOR A FORCE FIELD, LET’S JUST PUT WHEELS ON IT”
oh okay so the whole campus is basically capable of burrowing itself underground. that’s insane lol I wonder how they pulled that off. probably got poor Cementoss working overtime
blah blah blah so basically the entire campus is split into a grid and each section of the grid is capable of its own independent movement. lol this is just the Merone Base from KHR. you thought no one would notice this casual plagiarism ten years after the fact, but YOU UNDERESTIMATED YOUR AUDIENCE, HORIKOSHI
“joke’s on you imma just lampshade it” WELL ALL RIGHT THEN
“look at me I’m so fucking self-aware” fucking swear to god. I can’t believe this man is my favorite mangaka of all time smdh
“excuse me, I wasn’t finished describing all the rest of this bullshit yet,” Rat Principal breaks in impatiently. “we also added a steel wall all around the underground of the campus that’s 3000 steel plates thick. that’s fifteen fucking meters of solid fucking steel just fyi. and if anyone fucks around with any part of it the defense system will activate immediately! and also all of the plates are independently motorized, whatever the fuck that means!! in conclusion you’re gonna need a fucking tower crane to suspend all of your disbelief by the time I’m through with this paragraph”
“also Shiketsu is almost as reinforced as U.A. but not quite because we still had to make sure we were better.” but of course. and apparently the two schools are connected via a secret tunnel as Hagakure mentioned earlier
LSDKFJLSDKJFLK
“WAIT WHAT” LMAO YOU HEARD HIM, NOW INASA CAN VISIT YOU BOTH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND TELL YOU ALL ABOUT THE WEIRD DREAM HE HAD. GOD BLESS YOU HORIKOSHI
(ETA: moment of appreciation for Shouto and Katsuki having the same thought at the same time and making Knowing Eye Contact and saying the exact same thing out loud in perfect unison like the best friends they are. what a blessed day.)
so Tokoyami is all “but wait if you engineered all this shit all the way back during the Band arc how did you even know that Tomura’s quirk awakening would become a thing, Horikoshi -- uh, I mean, Principal Nezu”
and Rat Principal is all “lol idk”
“basically I just woke up one morning and was all ‘say, you know what this school really needs? a fifteen-meter-thick underground steel wall, and the ability to break up into little pieces that individually zoom around wherever the fuck they want.’ jesus christ. lol if money and common sense were apparently no obstacle why didn’t you just teleport U.A. to the fucking moon or something. maybe I should shut up before I given him any ideas
dsfaelkjldkjgl
you heard it here first, folks, all of this cost a grand total of nine million U.S. dollars. well technically it cost “more than” nine million dollars. never has that distinction been more important lmao. are we sure this barrier was really made of steel and not cardboard? who the hell sold it to them, Ea-Nasir??
this is my favorite manga series of all time. yes I am ashamed
“in conclusion please do your best to reach Deku-kun” SO WHAT WAS ALL THAT NONSENSE ABOUT IT BEING TOO RISKY THEN. anyway thank you for this super informative and edifying flashback, Horikoshi. I will cherish it always. I don’t even want to read another translation of this absurdity lmao, there’s something special about it just the way it is. pretty sure Horikoshi just had a cracked out fever dream one night and transferred it to the pages of the manga verbatim
anyway so back to the unruly mob
not their finest moment. please excuse me while I cover poor Deku’s ears and give him a good shoosh pap
oh wow the parents are out here too
is Mitsuki trying to hold Inko back?? that’s the last thing this fandom needs right now is more Mitsuki discourse fffwlkjs. and even Jiroudad, scientifically proven to be the best dad in all of BnHA, is just standing there silently looking vaguely unhappy. way to rise to the moment you guys
MONOMA
so this settles it for me that Aizawa is not at UA. I know a lot of people have been wondering about his whereabouts, and if I had to wager a guess it would be that something happened with Shirakumo/Kurogiri. I can’t think of anything else -- even the loss of an eye and a limb -- that would keep him from his kids at a time like this
anyway but this is excellent Monoma content right here though. I love that he apparently adopted Eri after a single interaction with her. also WHERE IS SHINSOU DAMMIT. THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW
and Kouta’s there too looking like he wants to run over to Deku but Ragdoll won’t let him :/
it’s gotta be pretty upsetting for him to see his hero like this and not having anyone stand up for him. [taps megaphone] IS THIS THING ON. OKAY YEAH IT SEEMS TO BE WORKING. AHEM. PAGING URARAKA OCHAKO. GONNA NEED YOU TO GET OVER HERE ALREADY AND MAKE THAT BIG DRAMATIC SPEECH WHICH YOU ARE CLEARLY DYING TO MAKE. IF YOU DON’T DO IT SOON I’M GONNA HAVE TO STEP IN, AND YOU REALLY DON’T WANT ME TO DO THAT SINCE MY SPEECH WILL NOT BE VERY GOOD OR INSPIRING, AND WILL PROBABLY JUST CONSIST OF “HELLO, YOU ARE ALL STUPID, PLEASE SHUT UP AND GO AWAY”
so now Mic is telling them to calm down. at least someone’s speaking up here, geez
OH MY GOD
MY MAN JEANIST OUT HERE DOING WHAT HE DOES BEST: MAKING EVERYONE FEEL GUILTY AND JUDGED
OH MY GOD HE IS GIVING SUCH A LONG AND BORING SPEECH LMAO IS YOUR STRATEGY TO PUT THEM ALL TO SLEEP OR WHAT
truly in awe of this man’s ability to take messages which could easily be conveyed in ELI5-speak, and stubbornly convert them into incomprehensible language the likes of which you need a graduate degree in order to understand
“hey guys, so originally our plan was to use Deku as bait for the villains, but that didn’t really work and also we realized it was kinda dumb and was probably gonna get him killed, so we brought him back here instead.” was that really so hard, Jeanist. also are we all really just gonna sit back here and watch Jeanist take full credit for Bakugou’s plan just like that lmao
(ETA:
WHERE DID ENDEAVOR GO AND WHO IS THIS DIABOLICAL MASTER OF DISGUISE. lol I genuinely didn’t notice this because I was too busy digging through thesauruses trying to rewrite Jeanist’s speech; many thanks to @class1akids for pointing it out and making my day immeasurably better. take it easy there Dick Tracy.)
“anyway so please stop being dicks and let him fucking rest so he can save all your ungrateful asses” what an impassioned and inspiring plea. time to see if the masses will listen to reason
narrator: they did not listen to reason
oh my god finally Ochako is doing something. YEAH OCHAKO WOOOO SHOW THEM HOW IT’S DONE
hmm
this entire chapter is truly and utterly nonsensical to me lol
(ETA: on my second readthrough I’m fucking dying at how she stole the megaphone right out of Mic’s hand lmao. and how Kacchan is all “fuck yeah nothing I appreciate more than some quality fucking larceny.”)
oh I see she was jumping on top of the main building so as to scream down at them all more impressively
“ANYWAY DEKU IS PRETTY COOL ACTUALLY, YOU GUYS ARE JUST MEAN” couldn’t have said it better myself Ochako
lol uh
gotta say I did not have “Ochako reveals the secret of OFA to the entire U.A. Citizen Clown Parade” on my bingo card for this week. it’s a bold strategy cotton let’s see if it pays off
SDLFKJSL
“NO, SERIOUSLY, HAVE YOU LOOKED AT HIM YOU GUYS. YOU THINK HE LIKES RUNNING AROUND DRESSED LIKE A RUSTED OIL DRUM?? HE DID THAT FOR YOU YOU UNGRATEFUL SLOBS”
so she is basically explaining the entire Deku Angst arc to them and explaining what a good and selfless protagonist Deku is, YES, PREACH
OMG IT’S THE GIGANTIC FOX LADY
not to insinuate anything, but what exactly were you doing standing out here with the hysterical mob, Gigantic Fox Lady? you’re better than that
-- KACCHAN SIGHTING!!
sdlkfjl. thanks for weighing in with that helpful and important observation. where have you been for the last five minutes. were you asleep. was it Jeanist’s speech
never mind, now he’s yelling at the civilians so I instantly forgive him
THE FUTURE NUMBER ONE HERO, EVERYONE. THANK YOU, THANK YOU. HE’LL BE HERE ALL WEEK
“anyway so I’m just going to end the chapter here” lmao seventeen pages truly do go by so fast. at least he didn’t try to force in a cliffhanger at the end this time. dare I say, growth
so I guess the civilians are either gonna have a Kamino and/or Fukuoka-esque moment where they remember how to be decent people and apologize to this poor young man, or else they’ll remain unpersuaded, and so Kacchan will have to knock a few of their heads around until they become more inclined to be reasonable. either option is fine by me lol
#bnha 323#uraraka ochako#rat principal#class 1-a#bnha#boku no hero academia#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#bnha manga spoilers#makeste reads bnha
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Laisse tomber les filles 3
Warnings: non-consent sex and rape; size kink; age gap; manipulation; tags to be added as story progresses
This is a dark!fic and Lee Bodecker x (short) reader and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Synopsis: You find yourself ostracized on campus by your shyness, but your reticence won’t deter an unwanted suitor.
Note: Lee’s slowly creepin’ and I hope you’re ready for it.
Thanks to everyone for reading and thanks in advance for all your feedback. :)
I really hope you enjoy. 💋
<3 As usual, I’d appreciate if you let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!
You slurped the last of your shake through the straw, the paper cup damp in your cold hands as the heater blew out hot air. The foamy dregs of the drink were overly sweet and made your cheeks twinge. Lee popped the lid off his cup and offered it and you slipped yours inside. He pulled the straw out and stacked the lids, squeezing both straws through and setting it on the seat beside him.
He stretched his arm over the leather, his hand just behind your head and you listened to the deep voice of the narrator recount the eerie words of HP Lovecraft. You fidgeted and looked at your watch. The sky was dark and the stars twinkled down ominously.
“Um,” you uttered, “I think... uh…”
He looked at you and his hand hovered close to your shoulder, “what is it, honey?”
“I think I should get home,” you finished.
“Oh, why’s that? You don’t got class tomorrow, do ya?”
“I don’t but… well, I’m tired,” you rubbed your neck and sat up so he couldn’t touch you, “I had an early morning.”
“Well, of course,” he retracted his arm and straightened up, he pulled the car into gear and slowly pressed down on the gas, “you should get to bed, little girl.”
You scowled at the venom in his last two words. He’d been nice but he had no right to patronize you. You hated that most. People thought because you were quiet they could just treat you like you were dull.
“I’m not… not a little girl,” you eked out.
“Ah, I didn’t mean nothing by it,” he said as he pulled out of the lot, “you are little though, ain’t ya?”
You felt a peculiar heat creep up your neck and cheeks. You were short but you’d met a few people smaller than you. People came in all shapes and sizes. You didn’t comment on his stomach or the wrinkles around his eyes. Yet, the humour in his voice kept you from rebuke.
“I guess, I…”
‘I don’t mean it as an insult, you see?” he chuckled, “kinda cute you can’t reach the floor.”
“Mmm,” you inhaled and pursed your lips. You pulled the collar of your pea coat closed and wiggled your foot nervously.
“I see,” he said, “you got your friends waitin’ on ya, huh? Yeah, young girl like you don’t wanna be hanging around an old man all night.”
“I didn’t say that,” you said.
“Hey, I’m not stupid, I was only bein’ nice,” he interrupted, “you looked lonely and I… I got carried away.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t…” you scrambled as he passed by the college entrance, “I was… I don’t know.”
“Well, you’re in such a hurry, honey, you can’t wait to be away from me,” he ranted, “actin’ all sweet and shy but you just like the rest of them.”
“What?” you grimaced and watched the buildings pass by, “no, I’m not. I…” you felt guilty as if you’d done something wrong. All you wanted was to go home and lay down, but it felt like a personal affront. “I… lied.”
“What?” he asked as your voice fizzled.
“I lied, sir,” you confessed, “I don’t have any friends. Not really, just… classmates.”
“Nah, that can’t be true,” he scoffed, “who wouldn’t wanna be friends with a pretty girl like you?”
“No, no, please, I… I’m sorry, I just want to go home, okay? I’m tired,” you cupped your cheek and slumped in defeat.
He was quiet for a moment as he drove along. He turned along the line of residences and streetlights flashed over his profile as he stared at the road. He flipped into park as he stopped in front of your building and nodded.
“Alright, I believe you,” he said at last, “I don’t wanna keep you up and I didn’t mean to get so upset. It's just, well, I like being with you.”
“It’s fine, thank you… for everything. The milkshake was good.”
“No, I mean it, it’s a pity no one else can see it,” he went on, “you’re real smart and nice. You got a pretty smile too when you show it, too.”
“Thank you,” you said quietly as you gripped the door handle, “that’s very kind. I should go--”
“Wait, wait,” he caught your arm, not tightly, but kept you from getting out as the door opened an inch, “can I come back? Next week, we’ll have another shake and listen to the show. I’m really curious what happens.”
“I don’t know, I… I have lots of work to do,” you looked at his large hand on your arm. He dropped it and wiped his palm on his brown pants.
“You bring your homework, honey, you can study and listen, I don’t mind,” he offered, “if you don’t want a shake, we can get some burgers and fries. Have a nice dinner?”
You smushed your lips together and thought. He hadn’t done anything bad enough to warrant that feeling in your gut. You were overthinking things just like you always did. Besides, he had to be almost fifty, he was just being friendly, he said it himself.
And what else did you have to do? You didn’t have any friends and it was too late to start making them.
“I… okay,” you said softly, “my book club ends at seven. It’s over at Clover Hall.”
“I’ll find you there then,” he smiled, “now go on, before I keep you out any later.”
You got out and scooped out your bag with you. You closed the door and headed up the path without looking back. You got to the door and focused on unlocking it. Your hands were shaking and your mind was reeling. You always lamented being little more than a fly on the wall but it was completely overwhelming to be noticed.
📚
You clacked away on the keys of your typewriter. Your dorm room was small and stuffy as dry heat rose from the dingy old radiator. You could hear your roommates in the kitchen as they gabbed and laughed loudly. You were jealous yet too intimidated to try and ingratiate yourself. You always just ended up in the corner as everyone else had fun.
Your assignment was to write a review of a primary resource borrowed from your visit to the archive. You carefully looked over the laminated manuscript between sentences. Your small radio played in the background and you couldn’t help but nod to the full tones of the jazzy music.
You were drawn from your entranced study by a knock at your door. It was unusual to be disturbed unless there were chores to dole out. You didn’t have time to wipe up their messes again. You got up and went to the door and opened it an inch.
“Hi,” you said meekly as Gina stood with a box in her hands.
“This is for you,” she held out the package, “it was down at the residence office.”
“Me?” you let the door fall open and took the box, “I don’t…” You looked it over but there was no address, only your name, “thank you.”
She left without another word and you nudged the door shut with your elbow as you turned. Your parents only sent you letters, they didn’t like to pay the pricy postage for a whole package. You put the box down on your single bed and peeled back the brown tape. The flaps came open and you peeked inside curiously.
You took out the skirt, a yellow plaid piece shorter than anything you’d ever owned. It was the new style found on the cover of Vogue. You put it aside and reach for the blouse, a pure white thing with bell sleeves. Lastly, a pair of knee high heels to top off the mod look.
There was an envelope amid it all, the note inside short and scribbled.
‘Saw this and thought of you, honey.’
You stared at the paper and folded it back up. It was a nice gesture but you couldn’t wear that. You couldn’t accept the gift either, it was too much. Every garment you owned was second-hand and you’d seen the prices of these clothes in the magazines.
And, you wondered as you packed the box and shoved it against the wall, why would the sheriff buy you all that? His friendliness made you uneasy. It was suffocating and yet, you could find no fault in someone being too generous.
You realised too, how little you knew about him. What if he had wife or even a family? What if he didn’t? What if he was only doing it to fill in some gap in his life? Maybe he was playing out some father-daughter relationship he never had.
Well, you could ask him next time you saw him. Or try to.
#lee bodecker#dark lee bodecker#dark!lee bodecker#lee bodecker x reader#fic#dark fic#dark!fic#series#au#the devil all the time#laisse tomber les filles
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Grief
Chapter One: History
Din Djarin x Reader x a bunch of other star wars characters
Series Summary: Raised on Mandalore, born into a bloodline of warriors, no one ever expected for the daughter of a Clan leader to go rogue. Leaving the life of security and making the journey to fight in the war against the empire meant many things... giving up the way of the Mandalore, and giving up a solid future. A future that involves an arranged marriage to a foundling from another clan.
Chapter Warnings: Oof this ones kinda angsty right off the bat- ⚠️ attempted suicide?? Kinda?? Age gap (reader is underage, but don't worry it's just for the sake of backstory and also there's no spicy, so...) mentions of death and afterlife, fluff if you like squint really hard
A/n: hello there... I'm sorry to inflict tumblr with this atrocity, but wattpad had to deal with it so tumblr can too. I wrote a different version of this on my wp with an OC name, but I know that not everyone cares for that so this won't include that. Also this series will be such a slow burn... prepare yourself ahead of time because it's going to be agonizing
Words: 6.3k+
SERIES MASTERLIST UNDER CONSTRUCTION
Part 1/?
"Pehea gar mar'eyir ni...."
How did you find me....
He came and sat beside me, the sound of metal scraping agaisnt the ground when he knelt first.
"Gar cuyir te shi solus tion'ad comes olar jii. Ni kar'taylir gar jate'shya gar mirdir Ni vaabir," He responded.
You are the only one who comes here now. I know you better than you think I do.
I heaved a deep breath before letting it out in an exhausted sigh. Speaking in my native tongue was something I always appreciated, but now sitting here it felt nearly uncomfortable, but there was a reason for that.
"I wanted to be alone," The words from my mouth were no longer in my language, and he shifted beside me, trying to convey his confusion without a word.
"Care to elaborate?" He suggested, his asking tone was harsh... but then so was everything else about him.
I didn't really feel like explaning my feelings at the moment. I didn't want to focus on the very thing he was asking about. Even though he wasn't absolutely sure of what he was asking.
"You wouldn't understand if I told you," I trailed off.
"Try me." His voice wasn't any softer, but the sincerity he rarely showed had seeped into his tone.
"I really don't think it's a good idea. You really won't understand, and for all I know you could make things worse off for me than they already are," I didn't like it when he let his guard down around me. I didn't like getting closer to him, even though I was supposed to.
"I can't force you. Whatever it is, I wouldn't get myself too worked up," He sounded hurt, but I couldn't bring myself to believe it was by my words. He was too strong to be wounded by such trivial things.
He moved in his seat, beginning to stand, and for some reason the thought of being alone like I had originally intended seemed like a horrible idea.
I reached out to grip his arm. I kept my gaze forward, knowing that even if I looked at him I could not see his eyes.
"Stay."
He didn't hesitate. He sat down again, and I no longer felt guilt for the hurt in his voice a moment prior.
We sat for a moment in silence, just looking over the cliffside, into the deep canyons that wove in between settlements and encampments of our tribes and clans.
"I don't want this life," I whispered. I had only half hoped he would be paying enough attention to hear me. My voice was soft enough that he might not have.
"What do you mean?"
I squeezed my eyes shut, regretting the choice to even say what I did. I felt a shiver go down my arms, and I felt the wind come into the old open cavern, making the air around me chill. My arms were exposed, for I didn't expect the cold tonight. I didn't expect to be here this long.
"I'll turn sixteen in four days. I will either take the creed, or deny everything I've ever been taught. I'd leave if I do that," I finally gave a glance in his direction. He looked back at me, or at least the beskar did. I could never tell where his eyes were.
"You want to leave?" That pained tone of his voice had returned. The one I felt guilty for without actually believing I had done anything to cause it.
I did. I wanted to get off this planet. Away from the responsibility of becoming what everyone expected of me.
"I have to. It's the only way I will ever be at peace, but I'm not sure if I truly have the strength to stand in front of my family and deny the creed."
I could run away. I had some friends who were planning to jump a transport and join the rebellion against the empire.
They had offered me to be apart of this, but I had refused, believing that I would follow in my ancestors footsteps and take the creed. My father had already provided the beskar for my helmet to be made. It was already in the armourer's possession. All that was left was for me to come of age.
"Where did you go, just now?" He noticed my lack of attentiveness to my current reality, and brought me back to where I was. On the drafty cliffside, with my legs hanging over the end.
"Nowhere. I was just thinking about the future," I had admitted. Though I felt the need to stay emotionally distant from him, and not let myself develop a closeness, I knew I could trust him with my life, which is why I even revealed these things to him in the first place.
"What do you think your future will look like?" The tone that brought me guilt had again left his voice, but was replaced by something else... was it fear? I could not even think of theorizing that he could ever be scared. He was one of the bravest in his clan. Never had he shown an ounce of fear to anyone or anything. How stupid of me to even wonder.
"Merc and his crew are gonna stow away on a crate transport tomorrow. He has contact with the rebellion. He said that I could go with them if I was up for it," I looked down, almost embarrassed at admitting a plan of escape to someone so loyal to this place. Even though he wasn't born on this planet, and even though he wasn't a blood member of any tribe, the foundling was more of a mandalorian than I could ever be.
"You've agreed?"
"No. Not yet," I shook my head. I didn't feel like my reasons were valid. Having him sit beside me, and ask me these things made me realize that I needed to explain myself further.
"Din, I want to be free. I don't want to spend the rest of my life under a code that is so restricting to me, binding my every decision. Everything I'd do would have to be following after the creed."
He didn't respond, and even though his features were shrouded under the reflective surface of his beskar, I could tell he was thinking of something.
"I'm not yet sixteen, but when I am... I don't want to be locked down under a piece of metal. I don't want to have to be bound to this planet or a clan. I want to go some place far away and be something that is different than what everyone expects of me. I want to fight battles against the empire, I want to make my own rules. I want to be free to marry who I love, and not be betrothed to whoever my father chooses for me," I finished off my speech about freedom, but realized the last sentence too late. I should have chosen a better set of words.
Din's head hung down, looking at the wrist guards he wore. He shook his head back and forth and before I could interject, he began speaking.
"So that's why...." he trailed off. I was honestly too scared to say anything now. Why must I speak so bluntly and hurtfully honest to people? Perhaps it is because I had never gotten close to him that now I had no fear in what I said to his face.
"If the reason you plan to leave your family is because of me, then-"
"No," I said harshly, catching him off guard. I was usually snippy with others, but I had never before shown a tendency to be angry or intense with my speech. "Believe me, this has nothing to do with you."
"You have always shown enthusiasm towards coming of age. It's only now, when we are arranged, that you show any difference," He brought on certainty in his voice that I nearly couldn't deny, but the truth was... it really wasn't about him. "I can converse with your father, the rest of the clan... I will find a way to break it off if it will make you stay."
"Din, I don't want you to do that. If you don't believe me when I tell you that you are not the cause of this, then so be it, but I will not have you ruining your good name in my favor, when it won't even stop me," The heat of the moment provided actual, physical warmth for me in the time I was running my mouth off, but now that I had finished, and begun to calm down, I felt the freezing air on my arms again, wrapping them around myself and drawing my legs closer to generate more body heat.
"Are you cold?" He changed the subject, needing something- anything else to say.
"Its not exactly warm up here," My voice was low and sarcastic, but at hearing my words, Din stood up and stepped behind me. Before I even had a chance to ask him what he was doing, I felt his thick woolen cape being draped around my shoulders.
I smiled softly, not even a real, full smile. More of just a small tug from the side of my lips. My real smile was saved for later.
"Thank you."
He nodded as he sat back down, letting his legs fall over the cliffside.
"So you're gonna leave with them, aren't you?" His head turned to face me, but I couldn't dare try and stare at the beskar while thinking of what I would do. This choice was the beginning of the rest of my life.
"I think so," I didn't think. Thinking was what I had been doing too much of. Now I was certain. This was my choice. I was going to start new, and become something different. I may have been born on mandalore, but I was definitely not a mandalorian.
I had a rush of confidence come through me until I remembered what this meant. It all hit me like a dropship coming out of hyperspace. What was I thinking?
"No," I whispered. Din didn't understand my sudden discouragement, but he would soon.
"Merc and his friends already denied the creed. He's a foundling. They all are," I started to tear up as I realized what would happen to my family. The loss of a child in a clan is bad enough, but my family hadn't done anything to dessrve this. They were caring. They had shown me love. They had given me the best life I could ask for on a planet with such a religion.
"Second thoughts?" He asked genuinely, scooting closer beside me as to maybe get more information from my body language, or even my breathing.
"I can't do this. My family would be ruined. If I ran away, they would be punished for it," I felt tears coming up in my eyes. My clan was good to me. The people were kind, and I found solace there. Even if I had always dreamt about something bigger, I couldn't bear to let ruin come upon my family name. It wasn't fair to let that happen, especially when the only thing in the way was my own selfishness. "I can't leave my family."
I let the tears stream down my face, not even bothering to wipe them away. The contrast of the cold wind on my hot, tear streaked face had helped to calm me down a little.
"If you plan on staying, you understand that I am apart of your future here, don't you?"
"Din, I already told you before... you are not the reason I want to leave," I tried my best to keep myself together, but with my wet cheeks and red, puffy eyes, I didn't see how that could be an option.
What if there was another way to freedom?
I sat, trying to think of some stories that the other clan members would talk about.
"Din?"
He hummed in response, keeping his gaze on me.
"Has anyone in your clan ever mentioned afterlife?" I maybe should have taken a different approach to this. He seemed to be rendered speechless by my topic of conversation, but I had to ask.
"You mean after death?" He asked me and I nodded.
"I've heard some stories."
I thought about how it had been described to me. A paradise, with never-ending happiness, and unlimted freedom. Freedom.
"After you die, you appear in the world as another life. You can do whatever you want and no one has consequences for any of it. It's like a world without chaos. Everything is perfect," I remember every word as it comes out of my mouth. The words that were spoken to me, more like taught to me when I was a bit younger by the elders who had retired from their days of battle.
"It sounds too easy." He said, ripping me out of my fantasy.
"That's the point. You don't have to worry about anything or anyone, because you can do as you please, and everything will still be the same. All you have to do is die...."
"Like being reborn into a different world."
"Exactly."
I hesitated to take my safety blaster from it's holster under my hip, and when I did, I looked at it before pointing it out in the distance and testing the trigger. It shot a blast of lazer energy out into the air, landing somewhere beneath us in the canyon.
I decided that this was not an act to pursue at the moment, for Din was sitting right beside me, and the sight of watching a young girl pull the trigger against her own head might be an unpleasant one. Even for him, though he has seen worse.
I put the blaster back in it's holster and stand up from the rocky ground. Din follows suit, looking down at me with quiet concern. I wouldn't have known it until now, but I wondered if he had come to care for me at all during these last few weeks we had been betrothed.
I'd known him the majority of my life anyways, so I knew he must have felt some sort of attachment to me, but in what form, I hadn't ever cared to ask.
He kept breathing heavily as he looked down at me for a few moments, and it almost sounded like he wanted to ask me something. The question was on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't bring himself to utter the words.
"Here's your cape back," I slid the material off my shoulders, trying to hand it back to him, but he pushed it back towards me.
"You should keep it for now. The sun is nearly down, it will only grow colder."
He reached his gloved hand up to my face, and I could swear I felt the warmth of his hand beneath the coarse leather.
I only nodded, and leaned forward, trying to lean my head into him, but he carefully stopped me, his hands on my shoulders. Instead he rested his helmet against my forhead, and the cold beskar wasn't such a bad feeling as it rested there.
"I won't let you down. I promise." He said, clueless of my plans for later tonight, after the tribes were asleep, and no one would be at the cliffside.
"I know you won't. You're a good man, Din Djarin." I paused, trying to gather better words. "A true Mandalorian if there ever was one."
The moment didn't last any longer because of how frigid the air was becoming. It was warmer back with the tribes, they always had a fire burning.
Without another word, we both left the old artillery cavern and hiked down the side of the canyon to get back to our own clan territory.
Once I was at the edge of mine, I turned around to utter a simple goodbye, and found that he was very close behind me. His hand came up and rested on my shoulder, lightly squeezing it.
Maybe this was the last time we would see each other. Tonight I would envoke my plan to freedom, to rebirth. Perhaps we would meet in another life. Perhaps I would have just enough memory of this life to try and find him in the next one. One where I will have freedom.
Tonight I had gotten closer to the metal clad Mandalorian than I ever had before. I didn't regret it. He listened to what I had to say, and there were few who ever did.
His hand fell from it's place on my shoulder, but I didn't let him walk away yet. I pulled him into an embrace, feeling him tense up for a moment before reciprocating. It took him a few seconds to let out the breath he was holding in, but when he did, he found himself relaxing into the comfort.
"Goodbye, Din," My voice wasn't sad, or overly sensitive in any way. I figured it actually sounded quite optimistic.
"You know I'll see you tomorrow." He said, reminding me of the clan meetings. Once a month the clans would gather and each tribe would go over the agenda for whatever was to happen soon. Battles were normally discussed, but tomorrow, me and a few of the others in the other clans would be talked about. Our ceremonial coming of age where we would take the creed.
"Yeah... right. Don't come looking for me, I don't plan on showing up," I said quietly, careful in anyone was to hear me.
He pulled me back at arms length and looked at me, but his black blast shield hid his features and I could not tell if he thought I was crazy or not.
"How come?" His voice was also quiet, as we noticed some of my clan passing by to get to the fire.
"Don't worry about it. You'll still see me tomorrow," I lied. Or did I? Everyone within the five neighboring tribes would probably see me tomorrow.
He nodded, pulling us all the way apart and stepping back.
"Good."
He didn't look like he was gonna walk away until I had gone into the hub of my clan's small village. I turned around and walked towards the large fire, seeing my mother. Her helmet was unmistakable. The pattern of the strill engraved into the side of the beskar. It was her signet. A worthy kill of her days in battle. I would never have one. I walked towards her when she noticed me.
Her modulated voice let out a small chuckle, before I stepped beside her.
"It is well to see you spending time with Din Djarin. Me and your father were afraid you may not have been fond of him," She kept her gaze on the fire, speaking only loud enough for me to hear her, given that the other mandalorians of our village were also gathering around the fire, conversing with each other the same way we were.
"I am fond of him, why would I not be?" I was unsure of what she meant. Sure, I had been keeping a distance between us since my father had arranged our marriage, but I never had shown that I wasn't fond of him. I was polite, and gave him attention when it was asked of me.
"Whenever I or your father bring up the discussion of your eighteenth birthday, you always seem to act like it's the plague," She was smirking under her helmet, and I could tell. I could always tell what face she made underneath her metal covering.
"Maybe it's the fact that I dread getting married at all. I'm not opposed to Din, though," I convinced her. I wouldn't have to try and do that again after tonight.
"Whatever it is, your father will be pleased to know you and him were in each other's company. Although I will stray from telling him you two were alone... you were alone, weren't you?" She turned her metal covered head, trying to figure out from the look on my face.
"Yes," I answered truthfully, knowing there was no point in lying. No damage could be done at this point, except for maybe towards Din.
"And what were you both doing?" She tilted her head, and I let mine drop. I would tell her the truth, because nothing bad could come from it. Or could it.
"We were just talking... about the future," I answered.
"Your marriage..." She suggested, and I nodded, knowing that it did come up in the conversation.
"Yes."
"I shudder to ask if consummating was apart of this conversation," She looked back at the fire, knowing how red my cheeks would turn and how embarrassed I would be.
"No, nothing like that. I can promise you," I shivered at the thought. Din was a good man, but I didn't necessarily need to be letting thoughts like that intrude my mind.
Everyone else around the fire seemed to be distracted by the glowing flames, and my mother was soon the same, so I suggested my absense.
"I'm going to go in for the night, get some rest. Big meeting tomorrow..." I said before reaching out and squeezing her hand tightly.
She nodded to me, and I took my leave, walking towards our living quarters on the opposite side of camp.
I wasn't looking where I was going, and brushed my shoulder against Merc, who was with Gander and Shyloh.
"Sorry, didn't see you coming," I told him, but he shook his head, optiing ti ask me a question instead.
"Don't worry about it, I was looking for you anyway... Did you think about the offer? We leave at sunrise on the north delivery tarmac," He informed me, but I didn't have an answer. I wasn't staying here, but I wasn't leaving either.
"You'll know if I show up," I gave him a smirk, partially just because I was glad to see someone's actual face tonight, and not just a metal facade.
"We can't wait up for you, just know that."
I nodded, letting them get by. Maybe I could go with them. Live this life freely without starting another one.
No.
My family will not be able to handle that. It's better off if I'm dead. At least they won't go on to believe that I betrayed them, turning my back on all loyalty they had ever taught me. They would nevwr wonder if I ever loved them or planned on keeping their wishes.
I could start fresh. They wouldn't have to worry about me anymore. And I wouldn't have to worry anymore either. Rebirth.
I went straight to bed, clutching the woolen blanket beside me close to my chest.
For some reason I felt a pang of guilt in my chest. Something that made the sting of salty tears swell in my eyes. I knew that what I was doing was best, but yet I started having a hard time justifying something so drastic. They would get on fine without me, wouldn't they? They would go on living by the creed. This is the way. They will find a way to go on without me, like they did before I was born. Din will be arranged with another girl as soon as I'm gone. Everything will be alright.
The wetness that spilled over my eyes and down my face lasted hours, even though my mind kept telling itself that it was at peace.
It was in the dead of night, when I gathered a few of my belongings into a knapsack, throwing it over my shoulder before leaving out the tattered window of my private space.
I ventured to the canyon, with the moons lighting my way. The planet was never truly dark, due to the brightness and the number of shinning moons, all the color silver.
I set my knapsack down on the edge beside me. By the end of this, I would be at the bottom, waiting to be found the next day. I just hoped it wouldn't be anyone I knew. Of course, the number of people who ever came out here was only two. Me, and Din Djarin.
I hoped he wouldn't find me. I hoped it would be someone from another tribe that was flying over, and happened to spot something at the base of the cliffside.
I pulled my flask to my mouth, taking a large drink. A bit spilled onto my chin, and I wiped it off, feeling the breeze on my face. It was much colder now than earlier tonight. I wasn't sure if I should pull the blanket from my belongings and wrap it around myself, or skip the process of making myself comfortable and just get this over with.
I leaned over, looking straight at the ground, hundreds of feet below me. My heart started racing, and I got scared. Why shouldn't I be? I have every right to be absolutely terrified. I closed my eyes, trying to scoot myself over the edge inch by inch, seeing if I would just drop.
I nearly panicked when my bottom hit a crack in the ground and I thought I was going over. My breath hitched in my throat and I instantly pulled myself back.
"This isn't as easy as I thought it would be," I murmered, beginning to feel the emotional side of everything rise to the surface again. It didn't help that with the absolute silence that circled around me, I couldn't have any single thing to distract me.
I stood to my feet, wrapping my arms around myself to ease the goosebumps rising on my skin from the frigid air.
I stood right on the edge, lifting a foot over and leaning forward, but before I could fall, I again caught myself, the adrenaline working overtime in my system and beginning to heat me up.
That wasn't going to work either. If I could, I would put a blaster to my temple and pull the trigger, but then it wouldn't look like an accident.
I paced around back and forth a few times, trying to calm myself down, to stop the whimpering and to make my tears cease. It wasn't working. I just needed to get this over and done with. A new life, with endless possibilities was waiting for me on the other side. Freedom was on the other side.
I wiped my face, even though it didn't stop me from crying, but it helped me to see clearer. I backed up, into the cavern, all the way inside until my back hit the wall of the ex artillery carvern. This was it. A new beginning. Rebirth. New life. Freedom.
I ran as fast as I could toward the edge, my eyes closed. I could feel the wind blowing against me even harder with my speed, and I could tell the edge was drawing near. Every step I took, I felt as though it was my last one.
I finally felt my foot hit the edge, but then I never fell. Instead, I was tackled to the ground. Whoever landed on top of me was heavy enough to hold me down, because half of me was hanging off the edge of the cliff.
I didn't dare even open my eyes. This was a sign. Someone stopped me.
I clinged onto whoever it was, and knew almost instantly who was laid over me when I heard him groan.
I cried even harder, my head buried in his armor clad chest, and my arms around his neck and his torso.
He was holding me tightly, one hand cradled my head into his neck, and the other firmly gripped my waist. He rolled us both over and I swear I felt him shaking.
"What were you thinking?" He stressed, his grip on me tightening as if he was scared to let go. I was scared too. I didn't want him to let go.
"You have to talk to me..."
I heaved a deep breath, deep enough to steady my voice so my whimpering didn't interfere with my words.
"I want out. I need to get out," I cracked in the middle of saying so few words, but they conveyed the message I was trying to get through.
"I can get you out, I promise.... But please don't ever try that again," His voice was full of worry, and as I suspected, he was trembling in fear.
"I'm sorry..." I cried some more, realizing that what I had done was now the biggest mistake I ever made, even if I was saved.
"It's okay. You're okay. I've got you," He spoke to me, my voice quieting down as my sobbing came to a slow halt.
I lifted my face from where I had burrowed it into his neck, looking up at him. I didn't know what his expression was, but something told me it was fearful, and worrysome.
"I have to get out of here," I repeated again. The last day or so it became my mantra, and would leave my lips often, even just to myself. Mostly just to myself.
"You're going to. You're going with Merc... when are they leaving?" He asked, his arms still around me like mine were for him.
"At sunrise. They're gonna jump a delivery ship on the north tarmac," I explained, my voice was now hoarse and thick, due to not only all the crying I had done, but also the cold night air that had entered my lungs.
"Sunrise isn't for a few hours..." he let me know, and I nodded, knowing we shouldn't probably leave yet, for the walk to the north tarmac wasn't very long from here.
"Din, if I leave, my family is going to get the fire for my decision. I can't let that happen," I told him, my voice had become more firm, and I needed to convey the importance of how much this meant to me.
"I give you my word, that as long as I live, nothing will happen to your family," He swore, and I could just feel his eyes staring into mine. So much so that for the first time since he put that helmet on, I knew where his eyes were.
"I trust you. And I know that you'll always keep your word," I nodded, a small smile finally forming on my face.
Since it got fairly quiet, and we were still entangled together, I scooted off of Din and opted instead to take the seat beside him.
"I should tell you some things before I go. I just don't want to leave anything unresolved," I admitted, and he stayed silent, waiting for me to continue.
"I know this might sound horrible, but I hated the idea of getting too close to you. It was like if I had formed an emotional bond with you, I wouldn't be able to leave anymore. And the last thing on my mind had been to stay. I've wanted freedom for a while now, I was just always too scared to say anything. And when my father told me that you and him had come to an agreement for arranging a marriage.... it's like it all became more real to me. My freedom would be taken in just days. The creed of mandalore is sacred, and it's truly an amazing thing... but it isn't for everyone."
He sat and took everything in. All the words that just spewed from my mouth like I had been holding them in for ages went against everything I had ever learned. Everything that had ever been put into my mind was the opposite of what I wanted.
"You're young. You want more than what the creed can offer you. I think you'll be able to find what you want wherever you're going," He said, I knew there was more, for he didn't even mention anything that I had said about not wanting to be close to him, but when he stayed silent, I knew he was finished, and that I still had more to say.
"Din, I wanted to tell you that if I had to be married, I wouldn't have minded it being you," I admitted. I would leave no stone unturned before I was to just pick up and leave forever... maybe not forever, maybe someday I would return to my family, to Din.
"I can't say I don't feel the same," He seemed to become stiff next to me, but I soon found the reason when he suddenly reached for my hand with his gloved one.
I took it proudly, intertwining our finhers together.
"You know, I was only an eight year old kid when you took the creed. I have so many memories of you yourself, but whenever I recall them... I can't see your face. I've completely forgotten what you look like," I laughed a bit, though it was quite a sad thing actually. I could not remember him in a way that wasn't covered in metal. I remembered that he was a boy once, and that he would play with all the younger children in the clan set next to his. He played with me and the kids I lived next to. He was a lively, energetic boy. Always doing something... sometimes causing mischievous acts. He was so different now. But the change wasn't bad. Since he'd taken the creed he has been the most noble, fearsome, and trustworthy member of his clan. Completely honorable in every sense of the word.
"I don't look like I used to. It wouldn't do you any good to remember anyways," He chuckled under his helmet, and it brought a smile to hear the melodic sound.
"Well, if I'd stayed long enough to marry you I would find out for myself," I leaned my head on his shoulder, feeling comfort by his presence. If I had made the absolute decision to leave this planet earlier, I could have let myself grow a relationship with him. Romantic or not, he was easy to talk to, and I trusted him. He was a friend to me, and I never imagined more, but now his presence was just something that put me at such ease.
"Do you think you'll ever come back?" He pondered, seeing as just the tiniest moonrays shown down into the canyon ahead.
"Someday. I'll comeback and repay you."
"For what?"
"Saving my life," I replied. My attempt to throw my own life away had been pushed away but I had to bring it up. I owed him my life.
"Anyone would have done the same if they had seen," He insisted, and I shook my head.
"How did you even know I was out here?" My curiosity got the better of me, and I asked for an explanation.
"I couldn't sleep, I took a walk through Ronion until I found myself here. I saw you across from the mesa on the south side... I saw you lift your foot over the edge, I knew what you were trying to do," He said, his grip on my hand got tighter almost instantly.
"Thank you. If you hadn't been there, I would be at the bottm of this canyon." I let so much seriousness onto my voice, and it didn't sound like me.
"Don't thank me yet... not until I get you on the tarmac,"
We sat in silence after that, just looking out over the horizon. When the slightest bit of light hit the edge of the planet, we stood to our feet, gathering my knapsack and begining the journey to the north delivery tarmac.
We were there in no time, and before I could even look for them, Merc and his crew were in sight. They were all sitting with their backs against some cargo imports, waiting for the transport to arrive.
"Well, well, well... look at what the shriek hawk dragged in," Shyloh said, gesturing to me and Din.
"Djarin, I didn't expect to see you here," Merc raised an eyebrow at the sight.
"I'm just here to make sure she gets onto the transport safely," He assured them. I looked out of the corner of my eye, and in the brighter horizon I was able to see a cargo ship coming into the landing area.
"Our rides here," I said, and they all jumped up. Since the ships were automatically run, and don't even require droids, it was often very easy to hop aboard and be carried to another destination. Of course, there were only a few who ever wanted to leave.
I myself hadn't ever left Mandalore, neither had I traveled much even on the planet. Only a few trips to visit the the markets with my father. I never even went into the city, for it was told that in the city lived Mandalorians who did not keep the creed. The tribes were convinced that they hadn't actually ever taken the oath, and just wore the armor for the sake of doing it.
The ship's doors opened, pulling me out of my thoughts, and a conveyer belt folded down to let the cargo units be carried out onto the tarmac for later pickup.
"Alright, it's time to head out," Gander said, slinging his knapsack over his shoulder and boarding the transport.
The rest followed after him, but I still had one thing left to do.
Din looked at me, waiting for me to join the others, but I came close to him one last time.
"You promise my family will be taken care of?" I asked, to which he simply answered with a firm nod. However the look on my face gave him reason to believe that his answer wasn't good enough, so he spoke instead.
"I give you my word. If they are not taken care of, I will let you strike me dead where I stand."
That was good enough for me. He truly meant it. He was a man of his word.
I pulled his head toward mine, resting ny forehead against his in a traditional mandalorian kiss. I pulled back when I heard my name being called from the transport.
"Goodbye, Din Djarin," I told him.
He didn't respond, he just let me go, watching intently as I boarded the ship before the doors closed.
The cargo transports were always on schedule, so as soon as the doors closed, it began lifting into the air. I looked out through the transparent view finder on the side, watching him stand as we began moving out of sight.
"You gonna miss him?" Shyloh asked, his brows furrowing as if he were sorry for me.
"Yes, I suppose I will."
I lost sight of Din, and realized we were leaving the atmosphere most likely preparing for a jump to hyperspace.
"But I'll see him again."
.
.
Tags are open ig...
A/n: please don't get too caught up in the age gap y'all it's just for backstory purposes because this story is eventually going to follow canon events.... (also i know that this doesn't really portray Mandalore correctly, but let's pretend it does because i had this idea)
#din djarin#din djarin x reader#din djarin smut#din djarin x oc#din djarin x jedi!reader#cassian andor#luke skywalker#the mandolorian x reader#the mandalorian#the mandalorian smut#rough day#din djarin series#din djarin imagine#din djarin fluff#din djarin angst
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I Don’t Like A Gold Rush || Jungkook
Pairing: Jungkook x Reader
Summary: Jungkook is the golden boy, an excellent student, the star of you college's football team. Rumor has it, there's simply nothing he can't do. The same cannot be said about you, but you've never had an issue with that. You're happy with your small group of friends and your lack of talent in sports. And then, Jin befriends Jungkook, and you find yourself spending a lot of time with him. Before you know it, you've taken an interest in him — and you're sure you shouldn't. There's no way this can end well for you... right?
Also available on Ao3.
Word count: 17.3k
Genre: College AU, strangers to lovers, slice of life, mostly fluff
Warnings & Tags: discussed insecurities, alcohol consumption, reader almost has a panic attack at some point, shy jungkook, jungkook is bad at Feelings, Reader is bad at feelings too, mutual pining kinda, Jungkook has long hair, sfw, New Year’s Day themed.
A/N: I don’t know how I would name my stories without Taylor Swift. Anyway, this is more or less centered around the New Year (it was supposed to be more and then... it didn’t happen), and I hope you’ll enjoy it! Happy New Year everyone!
The first time you hear Jungkook’s name, it’s in the sentence “Man, is there anything Jungkook can’t do?”. You look up at your friend Jin from the book you’re studying. You have no idea who Jungkook is, but that doesn’t mean anything. Jin is always complaining about how you don’t know anyone on the campus, which you think is quite unfair.
…but then you really don’t know that many people on the campus.
“What’s going on?” you ask him, because he sounds extremely annoyed, and he shows you his phone. On it, there is a score for a basketball game. You think.
Your college is famous for its basketball team… Right?
“Uh-uh,” you still say with a nod, trying to make it look like you have any idea what you’re talking about.
“This kid is crushing it at school, the girls love him, and now this!” Jin complains, a little too loud, and shushing noises come from a spot behind you. You turn around to give the group an apologetic look. “I really shouldn’t have bet against him.”
Ah, there you know what to say.
“You really need to stop making bets. You never win them.”
Jin glares at you.
“And you are a terrible friend. You’re supposed to comfort me!”
“I’ll comfort you when you stop making the worst choices imaginable,” you mutter, going back to your work. Jungkook’s name, his supposed excellence, and that basketball match — if it even is basketball — leave your mind as fast as they entered it, without leaving a trace behind.
“So the school’s won another basketball game, huh?”
You look up at Namjoon who’s just arriving to the table, holding his tray in his hands. You know he can’t possibly be talking to you about that, so you’re not surprised when Jin appears behind him. That doesn’t stop you from throwing Namjoon a disgusted look.
“Really, Joon? Sports?”
Namjoon shoots you an amused glance from behind his glasses. It’s notorious in your friends’ group that you despise conversations around that subject. You hate anything that involves objects flying around and anything that’s played in a team, and, apparently, those are the only sports that people care about. They could discuss athletics, or swimming, which you wouldn’t enjoy but you wouldn’t hate, but that never happens.
“You were right, Jin. That Jungkook guy really is impressive.”
You tune them out. You don’t care about basketball.
“You’re talking about yesterday’s game?” Yoongi asks, coming out of thin air, and you sigh. You had been hoping you would have at least one person to talk to during lunch.
“Jungkook’s friends with Hoseok,” Jin says, leaning forward conspiratorially, which does get your attention. If that’s true, then that Jungkook guy can’t be a completely terrible person. Hoseok is probably the nicest person you’ve ever met.
That being said, he might have very low standards for his friends. You know him enough to appreciate him, not to judge his tastes.
“So I’m going to become friends with him,” Jin announces triumphantly, only to be rewarded by a chorus of groans and protests.
“But why, Jin?” you ask. “Please don’t talk about popularity. This isn’t high school anymore.”
“And that stuff was already stupid back then,” Namjoon adds, and you nod. You can always count on Namjoon to support you.
“And I hate people,” Yoongi says.
“And Yoongi hates people!” Namjoon immediately picks up. “Do you really want to make him go through that?”
You grin at the question. Yoongi’s misanthropy always comes in handy. Jin, however, is not amused, but he just shakes his head disapprovingly. He’s used to the three of you teaming up against him by now. Usually, it’s on academical subjects, but he isn’t phased by it anymore regardless of that. Not that there’s much that can phase Jin anyway.
“First of all, I said I was going to be his friend, not you lowly peasants, and second, he seems like a nice guy! Do I need another reason to want to make friends?”
You tilt your head.
“He’s protesting too much,” you say.
“I agree,” Namjoon nods. “That’s suspicious.”
“Very suspicious.”
“Come on,” Jin rolls his eyes, “do you really think that little of me?”
“And now he’s trying to guilt-trip us. Joon, can’t you analyze that conversation and figure out what it all means?”
“You know that’s not how literary analysis works, right?” Jin asks you, but you ignore him.
“Actually, it is,” Namjoon says, pushing his glasses back on his nose. “I’d say you were right with your comment,” he adds, looking at you. “I’d say… this is about parties.”
“You’re not going to actually believe—”
“Thanks, Joon,” you say, and the two of you high-five without looking at each other. Yoongi lets out an appreciate whistle.
Even if Namjoon and you aren’t being serious about this, parties actually make sense. Jin… isn’t quite a social butterfly but, unlike the three of you, he does enjoy people’s company to some degree. You know first hand that he’s been to a few this year — you had accompanied him for moral support — but they were pretty tame, and you’re aware that he at least wants to try some more intense stuff. The problem was that those were harder to be invited to. Hoseok could probably do something about it, but he tends to avoid parties on campus.
“Okay, then you should go for it,” you nod.
Yoongi and Namjoon, sitting on either side of you, approve. Jin looks a little surprised at your reaction.
“That changed your mind?”
“You said you wanted ‘the full college experience’,” Namjoon explains with a shrug. “If you think that’s part of it, we wouldn’t want to hold you back.”
“We will judge you for it, though,” Yoongi warns without batting an eyelid, pokerface perfect, and you laugh. You won’t be mean about it, of course. You just might tease him a little.
“Thank you,” Jin says. “I’ll do it, then.”
Good. If you’re lucky, it will be out of his system next time you all have lunch together.
Lady luck had never been on your side, for as long as you could remember. It wasn’t like you got the worst of things either, but usually, things that could go wrong, did go wrong. Because of that, you tried your best to remove those things from your path. Sometimes, though, you just didn’t manage to identify them.
And that’s why, when you hear Jin’s voice and look up from your food, being the first at the table as always, you see he’s accompanied by two people.
One of them has fluffy, dark brown hair, falling on either side of his face and in his eyes. He’s talking and laughing, and there’s something that you can’t help but identify as mischievous in his smile. The other is slightly taller, with jet black hair held up in a bun. He’s quiet, mouth opening for silent laughs when his friend jokes. Between them, there’s Jin, and you think that they look good together. All handsome, all holding themselves with confidence.
You had realized before that Jin felt out of place in your group, from an outside point of view at least, but it’s never been as striking as it is now, as he’s walking with people he clearly belongs with.
It makes you really thankful that he’s your friend.
“Hey,” Jin says, smiling widely, “these are—”
“You’re untying your hair before eating?” you say, looking at the guy with the bun who just sat opposite from you and took off his hair tie with a sigh. He looks up at you with wide round eyes, like you just caught him red-handed — doing what, you’re not quite sure.
That is the first thing you ever say to Jeon Jungkook.
“Um. Yes?”
“Aren’t you afraid you’ll get hair in your food?”
You know people find you too blunt sometimes, think you come off as aggressive, but you almost never intend for that to happen. In that case, you just think the logic here is a bit surprising.
“That’s… a good point, actually.”
“(Y/N),” Jin sighs, “let me introduce you to Jungkook” (he points to the man who’s now tying his hair back up) “and Taehyung.” (he points to the other guy, who’s flashing you a smile.)
“Oh,” you say, looking back at Jungkook. “You play basketball.”
He lets out an awkward laugh and avoids your eyes. Instead, he grabs his fork and focuses on it, twirling it in his hand.
“Yeah, I do— I do that.”
Huh. It takes you a second to piece things together, and you think Namjoon will be of great help once he’ll be there, but for now, one conclusion comes to you.
Jungkook is shy.
“I play basketball too,” Taehyung says, leaning over the table, grinning at you, and you can tell that it’s his way of swooping in to save Jungkook. You can appreciate that.
“She hates basketball,” Jin warns.
“That’s a strong word,” you say, but only half-heartedly, because, well, you definitely don’t like it.
“I think it works.”
“You think what works?”
Jin’s face falls while you grin. If Taehyung is Jungkook’s savior, Namjoon is yours. Your friend sends you a questioning look as he sits next to you, facing Taehyung. He gives polite nods to the two basketball players, like they sit with you at lunch every week, but you notice that he doesn’t quite meet their eyes. Namjoon is not particularly shy, nor a misanthrope like Yoongi, he just isn’t too comfortable around people he’s just met.
You and Jin, well, you’re perhaps a little too comfortable. Not everyone likes it.
“He says I hate basketball.”
“But that would imply you care about basketball.”
“Exactly.”
“And you don’t.”
“I know.”
“Which means you don’t hate basketball. As always, you’re wrong, Jin.”
Jin looks extremely, extremely done with you, but when you and Namjoon high-five, Jungkook laughs quietly and Taehyung nods in appreciation — for the gesture, not the debate.
That is the moment when Yoongi drops his tray on the table and sends a weird glance towards Taehyung and Jungkook.
“What did I miss?” he asks. His tone is a bit dry, and you see Jin’s shoulders straightening. He knows Yoongi is going to be the most difficult one to win over. Not that you’ve been won over yet, but you’re not that difficult. Usually, people don’t like you, not the other way around. You don’t blame them. You’re not sure you’d like yourself very much if you were in their place.
“Oh,” Jungkook says spontaneously, “we had a class together last year! You’re majoring in engineering, right?”
Yoongi looks at him. His eyes are shining with suspicion, and you can practically see the gears turning in his head. Knowing him, he’s definitely wondering why Jungkook would even remember him.
“Right,” he finally confirms, slowly.
There’s a moment of silence, which Namjoon breaks.
“I’m a literature major, by the way.”
“That’s really cool,” Jungkook comments honestly, with the same spontaneity he displayed earlier.
“And I’m in mathematics,” you say.
“Wow. I thought you people existed only in legends,” Taehyung says while Jungkook avoids your eyes. You decide that, yeah, you like Kim Taehyung.
“Don’t say that, I like maths,” Jungkook protests, voice soft, much to your surprise — and, judging by his reaction, Taehyung’s.
You were right, you decide. Jungkook is not a completely terrible person.
You didn’t expect it to become a routine, for Jungkook and Taehyung to eat with you guys, but it does, and as time goes on, other people join your little table. You’re not sure you like that. It’s clear that those people are orbiting around Jungkook, which, good for them, but you don’t see why you need to be there for that.
You do see that Jungkook is not completely comfortable with all of it. He’s good at handling people, good at making jokes and at laughing at the right times, you notice, but there is a stiffness in his shoulders more often than not, and it looks like he’s well-trained at it rather than enjoying it. It kind of reminds you of Jin, except Jin is not as quiet the rest of the time. Taehyung obviously does his best not to let his friend deal with things alone, which is sweet, but he can’t do everything for him.
You barely exchange a word with Jungkook during that time period. You’re usually trying to be forgotten when the table is buzzing with noise, finding refuge in Namjoon and Yoongi’s company. You thought Yoongi would be an ally in reclaiming what’s always been your spot, but it quickly becomes obvious that he has a crush on Taehyung’s friend Jimin, so he never complains about the recent invasion of the table by strangers.
You hear a lot of basketball vocabulary. More than you care for, to be honest. That’s one of the few moments when Jungkook’s face lights up and he gets truly excited, with an almost childish happiness. His demeanor changes, from shy to confident, and the transformation never ceases to amaze you. As soon as the conversation ends, his shoulders fall, he smiles awkwardly, and focuses back on his food or his phone.
You’ve met his eyes a few times in those moments, because he often looks around him like he’s afraid someone’s noticed. He averts his very quickly, though, so you’ve never said anything about it.
So, really, there’s not much that changes. You still only speak to your three friends — you think Taehyung is a good person, and you don’t think he hates you, but you don’t have anything to say to each other —, and sure, you have a little less space when you eat and more noise around you, but aside from that, it’s pretty much the same. You think that’s a relief. You’re not too fond of change.
Usually, you’re pretty decent at spotting it coming. You did miss it when Jin said he was going to become Jungkook’s friend, but other than that you’re able to do your best to avoid it. You don’t see anything coming the day Taehyung calls out your name, though. You look up at him from the book Namjoon is showing you, surprised. He has an arm slung over Jungkook’s shoulders, and Jungkook isn’t looking at you, of course.
“Do you think you could explain a maths-thing to Jungkook?”
You blink at him.
“What’s the ‘maths-thing’?”
“Does it matter?”
You raise an eyebrow, and Jungkook groans. You get the feeling that he didn’t really want Taehyung to ask you about it. He sends an annoyed glance to his friend, who is still smiling brightly at you, while pushing a lock of hair out of his face. His hair is tied, but this one traitorous lock always escapes.
“I’m struggling a little with probabilities,” he admits, glancing at you for half a second. “But I’m sure I’ll be fine once I can get my head back into it, I’ve just been training a lot recently and—”
“I can help you, if you want,” you say. “I’m not the most fond of probabilities, but it should be okay.”
“Great!” Taehyung says, patting his friend’s shoulder before Jungkook can answer. “You should do that then.”
“You’re sure you don’t mind?” Jungkook asks, actually looking at you this time. You meet his eyes, notice that he looks worried about it. You can’t figure out why.
“I really don’t,” you shrug.
He smiles at you, a small, hesitant smile, but a smile nonetheless. Probably the first one he directs at you. It’s a nice sight, you decide, and you smile back.
Jin’s sentence “is there anything Jungkook can’t do” takes all its sense on the day you meet Jungkook at the library to study. You don’t know what you expected. You never thought Jungkook was dumb or anything, but since Taehyung asked you to help, you thought he would have some difficulties, at least. However, as it turns out, he either understands immediately when you explain something to him, or he’s already understood it. He asks for some clarifications here and there, but all in all, you feel kind of useless.
“You don’t need me at all,” you say after a little while, and Jungkook looks up from the book with the worried wide-eyed look you’ve gotten used to.
“No, no, you’re doing a great job,” he protests. “You’re really helping me out here.”
“No I’m not. It’s obvious that you could do that all on your own.”
He deflates a little at that, looks away from you.
“You help,” he mumbles. “I have a hard time focusing when I’m alone.”
Oh.
That makes a lot of sense to you, actually. You’re good at focusing all of your energy on one thing, perhaps even too good, to the point where you easily get obsessed and become unable to take care of anything else, but even you need the right conditions for that.
“Okay,” you say with a nod.
Jungkook gives you an anxious look.
“So you don’t mind helping me out?” he asks, and there’s something in his voice that catches you, but you can’t tell what it is exactly. Maybe it’s the hope, or maybe it’s the fear. You don’t understand what he’d be afraid of. Worst case scenario, you would say no. That wouldn’t be the end of the world.
“We can work together,” you offer. “You can ask me if you need help for anything and I’ll just work on some other stuff.”
He seems relieved, and again, you just don’t understand it. It’s not like you’re his only option. There are plenty of people out there who could help him. Plenty of people who would jump at the opportunity of helping him. You know that, because he’s always surrounded by those people, and everybody in school seems to know him. Even when you walked into the library with him earlier, before you got to the table you’re sitting at now, a few students greeted him. You don’t see why he would attach any importance to you, specifically, helping him. You barely know each other.
“Thanks,” he says, and he gives you a small smile. For some reason, that makes you drop the subject. Instead of asking about it — which, knowing yourself, you probably would have — you shrug it off and reply with a nod.
The silence that follows feels comfortable, to you at least. You’ve never minded silence. Jin hates it, though. You get to work, watching absent-mindedly as Jungkook goes through the lesson he was working on. He does ask you a couple of questions, but it’s probably to make you feel like you’re doing something rather than because he actually needs it. You still answer them, and watch him grin, satisfied with himself, when he turns out to be right every single time.
“Are you coming to Taehyung’s party this week-end?” he asks out of the blue after about an hour.
You look up, surprised. The two of you haven’t exchanged much, and certainly have not talked about anything other than— well, other than maths. His eyes are on his notebook, as usual, and you don’t get any insight as to why he asked the question.
“I don’t know. Is Jin coming?”
“Uh, I guess? Taehyung’s probably talked to him about it.”
“Then I’m probably going.”
Jungkook mulls over your answer for a few seconds, twirling his pencil between his fingers, and you feel like you have to clarify, which is not an urge you have often. Usually, you let people decipher for themselves what you meant. That works very well with Namjoon, sometimes with Yoongi, not so great with the rest of the world. Including Jin, though Jin compensates with his impressive ability to interpret everything you say in his favor.
“We always go to parties with Jin. For moral support.”
For all that you tease him, you genuinely care for him. You know he wants you to go with him, so you do. It’s as simple as that.
Jungkook doesn’t look at you, but he still smiles at what you say, and it’s— it’s interesting. There’s something about his behavior that makes you curious, like you are when you’re trying to solve a complicated equation.
“That’s nice,” he comments.
“So… you’ll be there?” you ask. It’s taken you a long time to come up with that simple question. It often takes you a long time to find things to say to keep a conversation going. You’re pretty bad at it.
“It’s at my fraternity,” Jungkook informs you, glancing at you briefly, and you smile. This is exactly the type of party Jin wanted to go to. He’s probably happy about it. “The entire basketball team should be there.”
Great. People.
“That’s nice,” you say, because you have no idea what to add at this point. Jungkook simply nods, and the conversation dies an awkward death.
It’s another half an hour until Jungkook looks at his watch and starts putting his stuff back in his bag.
“I have to go to practice,” he tells you, clearly in a hurry. “Can we— Would you mind if—”
“We can do this again. If that’s what you meant.”
He gives you a bright smile, and that actually surprises you. He looks relieved that you finished his sentence for him.
“Thank you,” he says sincerely.
And just like that, he’s gone, practically running out of the library. For someone who talks as little as he does, he sure leaves a void when he goes away, you think, looking at the empty chair.
But you quickly shrug it off. You’re used to being alone. You like being alone.
Jungkook isn’t going to change that.
You realize very quickly that, while accompanying Jin to parties was never something you particularly enjoyed, going to this one was downright a mistake.
You have this unspoken rule, with your friends, that you shouldn’t stick together the entire time. You’re supposed to wander off, find something to do for yourself, maybe talk to some people. Get that college experience. You’ve never had a problem to do that, even if you ended up quietly sipping soda in a corner more often than not.
Here, though, you simply cannot shake off the fact that you don’t belong here, that this is not your scene. The people here are loud, energetic, garish. They make you feel like a black and white picture, like a silent movie. You want to run away, but you can’t. You don’t want to leave Jin, Namjoon or Yoongi behind, even if you doubt they’re having the same kind of problems you do. You’re pretty sure you saw Yoongi talking with Jimin, and last time you saw Namjoon, you think a cheerleader was holding him by the hand and leading him out of the room. You don’t know what Jin’s doing, but you’re trusting that he’s okay.
You walk around aimlessly, find Jungkook and Taehyung playing beer-pong with some people. Maybe you should be happy to see people you know, but you’re not. If anything, it only drives the point home even more to see them so comfortable: you don’t belong here. Your chest tightens, and you turn around. You need a little peace and quiet. You need to get away.
“(Y/N)!”
You jump at the sound of your name. No one’s said it since you’ve entered the house. No one knows you here.
Except Jungkook, who’s right behind you.
He’s more confident than usual, and you guess, based on his slightly hazy eyes, that it has a lot to do with alcohol.
“Are you having fun? How long have you been here? It’s nice to see you!”
He’s speaking fast, excitedly, and as he does, he runs his fingers through his hair, which he’s let down. It looks good on him, you decide, even as you reply to him with a tense smile.
“Hey, you should join us, we’re—”
“Do you have a closet somewhere?”
Jungkook blinks.
“A closet?”
“Yeah.”
There are probably very few things that are less weird than asking a guy if he has a closet you can get into because you’re on the verge of having a panic attack and you can’t stay outside surrounded by people a second longer.
Jungkook doesn’t say anything about it, though. He just leads you through the house and opens the door to a closet for you. You get inside without giving it much more thought, and he looks at you, puzzled. He’s actually looking at you, which you decide confirms that he is drunk.
“Do you— Are you waiting for someone?”
“No,” you say. “I just need a little break.”
He thinks about your answer for a while, probably longer than needed, and nods.
And then, he gets into the closet with you and closes the door.
Inside, it’s dark, with only a ray of light coming in. You can’t see his face, which doesn’t help you understand why he just did that. The space is cramped, and you can smell alcohol coming from his breath, can feel the heat radiating from his body, but it doesn’t bother you that much. It’s still better in here than outside.
“Why did you do that?”
“I thought I would keep you company. Like you’re here to keep company to Jin, you know?”
He’s drunk, definitely, and yet you feel genuinely touched by his words. You shouldn’t, because you doubt they hold that much meaning, but you can’t help it. You don’t need company, but that’s besides the point. His intentions are what matters.
“Thank you,” you say.
“It’s not a problem. You’re helping me with my maths.”
Your first reaction is to laugh at that, because it feels completely unprompted, but then the logic of the reasoning kind of appears to you.
“I mean it!” Jungkook protests. “You haven’t talked about how I’m good at everything or how I’m the one who should help you.”
You frown.
“You shouldn’t help me. You’re good at maths, but I’m better than you.”
It’s Jungkook’s turn to laugh, and just like his earlier smile, it takes you completely by surprise. It’s not one of those quiet laughs that he usually has. It’s light and pleasant, and you briefly wonder what his face looks like when he laughs like that. You kind of want to see it.
“You’re a scary person,” he tells you when he’s stopped laughing. “You always say those things directly. It’s like you don’t even care.”
You’ve heard that before. Well, you haven’t been called scary until now, but people have said that you were intimidating. You, personally, believe you’re the least threatening person to have ever walked this Earth. You couldn’t hurt a fly if you wanted to.
Jungkook makes some sense here, though. Your filter is very limited, and there are a lot of things you say that feel acceptable to you, and that other people… don’t think are acceptable. You don’t mean to do it. It just happens.
“I think you’re good at a lot of things, though,” you say slowly.
Jungkook lets out a long sigh and then you hear him sliding down to the ground. You hesitate for about half a second before joining him down there. You fold your legs, holding your knees against your chest while you wait for him to say something.
“People are always saying that,” he finally mumbles. “But what if I’m not that good? What if I fail one day?”
It’s strange. You understand what he’s saying, understand the feeling of pressure, but you don’t understand the emotions that should come with it. In your case, you know that no one holds you to a higher standard than you do. It can be unhealthy, the way you can torture yourself if you don’t meet the standards you’ve set for yourself, but at least you’re the only one you have to answer to. Obviously, it’s not Jungkook’s case.
“Then you’ll try again,” you say, because that’s what you do when you fail. “Or, if you think it’s not that important, you won’t.”
“But what will they say?” he insists. “What if we lose the next game? Or the one after that? What if I fail a class? I can’t get anything done these days.”
“You’ll be fine,” you say soothingly, half-wondering how you ended up here, comforting the college’s golden boy in a closet after fighting off a panic attack. “It’s not like you’re the only one in your team. People will understand.”
You think they will. You hope they will. They should.
“You would understand.”
It’s true, but then, you really do not care for basketball, and it’s not like you have that sort of expectations for Jungkook. You wouldn’t think much of it, if he failed at something tomorrow. If it was the maths test you’ve helped him with, you would be surprised, but that’s because you saw him studying and it was obvious he had understood everything, not because you think he can inherently succeed at everything he does.
Which you guess might be the heart of the problem here.
You reach out to put your hand on his shoulder. It’s not that easy in the dark, and you wonder for a second if you’ve grabbed something else, until you feel hair tickling your skin. Yup, you were right.
“You have the right not to be good at something every once in a while,” you say softly. “No one can be on top of their game all of the time.”
You hear what sounds like a choked sob.
“I like that they’re counting on me, you know? I like that I’m helping them out by playing. I just— I don’t know what’s going to happen when I stop being as good.”
He said when, not if, and that breaks your heart.
Without thinking about it, you slide your hand down his arm and grab his hand. You squeeze it in yours, gently, and then you inch closer to put your head on his shoulder. You remember reading that physical touch was good for people who were in emotional pain. You hope it helps him.
“You locked yourself in here with me because you thought I needed company,” you whisper. “There’s so much more to you than just being good at sports or having good grades. And if people don’t see that, it’s their loss. Because you’re a great person.”
He hums, but the sound is quiet, and it’s then that you realize how tense he is.
Shit. You must have crossed a boundary. You start to remove your hand, but he closes his fingers around yours, keeping you in place. He’s still tense, you can feel it everywhere his body touches yours. But he doesn’t let go.
“You mean that,” he says. There are so many emotions in his voice that you can’t identify them all. Relief, happiness, amusement… You don’t know where to start.
“I usually mean what I say.”
“I’ve noticed,” he says, and you can hear the smile that’s dancing on his lips.
He’s still not letting go of your hand, but you don’t mind. Staying here, with Jungkook, in this small closet is as good a way of spending your evening as anything else you could do out there.
So you stay.
“Where did you all vanish Saturday?” Jin asks, and Namjoon, Yoongi and yourself immediately find your food a lot more interesting. You exchange panicked glances that mean ‘did none of you stay around? This was poorly coordinated’ before finally daring to look up.
“I talked to Jimin,” Yoongi says, face as inexpressive as always.
“I played some beer-pong with Taehyung,” Namjoon says.
That leaves only you.
“I talked to Jungkook,” you tell Jin. That is technically true. It omits the part where the two of you were together in a closet, but if you said that, there would be a lot of questions you don’t really want to answer to. Somehow, you think you would be more embarrassed to tell them that there was nothing going on there than if you told them you hooked up with him. You’re not sure why.
“Jungkook disappeared for a long time,” Jin says, narrowing his eyes at you.
You do your best to keep a straight face while you poke at your salad. You don’t want anyone here to have the wrong idea, and you finally manage to put your finger on what you’re afraid of. Humiliation. You’d feel humiliated at having to tell them that nothing happened and that there is nothing Jungkook could possibly see in you. They would be nice to you, of course they would, but you don’t want to see the look in their eyes.
“Did he? Maybe that was after I left. I didn’t stay that long.”
That’s a lie.
“Really?” Jin asks, clearly skeptical. “I think I saw you there pretty late.”
Maybe when you went down to get some snacks and drinks to bring back to the closet. Damn Jungkook and his stomach.
“Well, that depends what you mean by ‘late’ and ‘long’,” you say.
That’s you calling Namjoon for help, and he recognizes your SOS for what it is. From the way Jin’s face falls, so does he.
“She’s right,” Namjoon comments, so nonchalant you would almost believe he’s doing it naturally. “What is ‘late’, really? Isn’t it always—”
“Please stop,” Jin groans, burying his face in his hands. “Just because you’re a literature major doesn’t mean you’re the only one who understands words.”
“Actually it does,” you say with a nod. “That’s exactly what it means.”
You start lifting your hand for a high-five, relieved Jin’s attention is off you, but he sends the two of you a dark glare.
“You two are unbearable. Don’t do that.”
“We have to,” you protest. You would hate to miss a chance to high-five Namjoon.
“No you don’t, you—”
“Actually they do,” Yoongi says, and your jaw drops. Yoongi never intervenes, and you had always thought that if he did, it wouldn’t be in your favor. “That’s exactly how gravity works.”
Jin looks like his soul has left his body. He only comes back to himself after you, Yoongi and Namjoon have all exchanged high-fives.
“I hate you,” he says, sounding terribly tired. “I hate every single one of you.”
“Sorry Jin,” you smile warmly.
“No you’re not. You’re the worst.”
Except he sounds fond, affectionate, and you laugh before going back to your salad. You miss the quick glances your three friends exchange after that. They’ve all noticed you eluding and changing the subject. They don’t want to rush you, know you would hate it and that it’s better to drop it.
But they’ve noticed.
Working with Jungkook on Wednesday afternoons easily becomes a habit, so easily you don’t even notice it until it’s something you look forward to during the week. It adds to the time you already spend eating with him and Taehyung. Jungkook is, slowly, starting to become a part of your life. It’s a thought you refuse to dwell on, because it sounds so strange.
The Wednesdays afternoons are something special, though. You and Jungkook don’t really talk at lunch, even if he’s clearly more relaxed around you now, which you suspect is the reason why you’re ‘Taehyung-approved’. On Wednesdays, you— Well, you don’t talk much, either, but it’s different. It’s a time that only belongs to the two of you. You like that.
You slowly find out things about him, his family, his life. It’s never the main subject of conversation, but it makes you feel like you’re solving a puzzle.
“My father wanted me to focus on my classes and forget about basketball,” he comments once. “But I could do both.”
It makes you laugh, because he says it with obvious satisfaction, but it also makes you wonder if there’s more to it. Jungkook doesn’t add anything, though, and you don’t want to probe into his life, so you don’t ask. After that, small pieces of the puzzle keep falling into place.
“My high school coach told me I could train more if I didn’t work so hard for school.” But he could do both.
“My friends said I never hung out with them anymore and that I shouldn’t work so hard.” So he did both.
It’s always the same story. People telling him things, giving him opinions on what the should and shouldn’t do, and him stretching himself thinner and thinner. It’s almost a miracle he’s still doing as well as he is, honestly.
But his tone changes when he talks about his former relationships. He’s usually light and genuine, sharing with you just because. It’s clear that, as much as the stories make you frown, he doesn’t have an issue with them, and you guess that’s all that matters. The first time he says something about an ex-girlfriend of his, though, he’s guarded, almost careful. He sounds like he doesn’t want to tell you.
“My ex said I worked too much.”
He doesn’t add anything. Whatever it was she wanted, he couldn’t do it and work. Didn’t manage to do both. After that, he doesn’t look at you for the rest of the day, like he did when you first met.
You never get a name for the girlfriend. He talks about relationships again, but you don’t even know if he’s always talking about the same one. You doubt it, though, and it only makes things worse.
“My ex wanted me to attend fewer practices.”
“My ex said I didn’t care enough to make time for her.”
“My ex dumped me after I lost a game.”
That last one hurts you, because you remember him crying in the closet because of that exact fear. You want to take his hand again, but you can’t dare to.
“She’s stupid for that,” you say instead.
Jungkook looks surprised first, because you never comment on what he’s telling you, then a smile slowly forms on his lips.
“If the only reason she was with you was because you won a lot of games, you’re better off without her,” you add.
“That’s what Taehyung said.”
“Taehyung’s right.”
Jungkook goes quiet for a little while after that, to the point that you look up, worried that you might have offended him. When you do, he’s looking at you, something you can’t identify shining in his eyes.
“Everything okay?”
He blinks like he’d just woken up for a dream, then nods. He doesn’t tell you that he hadn’t believed what Taehyung said — until you said it and he looked at you and thought that yeah, maybe he was better off without her indeed.
You’re surprised to run into Jungkook late one night, as you’re walking back to your dorm. It shouldn’t shock you — you do go to the same college — but you’re so used to only ever seeing him in the library or the cafeteria that meeting him outside is almost confusing. At least he seems taken aback as well, if the way his already round eyes widen is anything to go by.
Then, his surprised face morphs into a smile, and a wave of warmth hits you without a warning. You don’t get any time to think about it before he waves at you. His shyness is not completely gone, and you see him waver, hesitate, even as he’s walking up to you. You’re quick to close the gap between you, meeting him in the middle. Just in case.
“Hey,” he says, voice a little raspy. He has what you identify as a sports bag, slung over his shoulder, and you wonder what he was doing out so late. You were working at the library until it closed, which is far from being rare for you, but that obviously wasn’t his case.
“Hey,” you reply, smiling back. “Were you— training?”
Amusement flashes in his eyes at the careful way you chose your words, afraid to get it wrong. As he grew more comfortable around you, he also started making fun of you for not knowing the first thing about basketball. Strangely, you don’t mind that much.
“I was at the gym,” he says. “Practice was earlier today.”
“Oh,” is all you can muster. You don’t know what you’re supposed to do. Should you ask what he was doing at the gym? The answer would only leave you with more questions, you’re sure.
You’re still debating it when Jungkook clears his throat. He reaches for his ponytail and undoes it, shaking his head so the hair fall back into place. The sight is— interesting. Pretty. You’re not sure why you’re so fascinated by it.
“Do you want me to walk you back to your dorm?” he asks, slight concern in his voice. “It’s late.”
“Is it on your way back?” you question, frowning. You would hate to be a bother.
“No, but—”
“I’m fine, then. I do that several times a week, I’ve never had a problem.”
That was, apparently, not the thing to say. Jungkook only looks more worried now.
“Several times a week? That’s really not careful.”
“I don’t see a problem, there’s no one around.”
“That’s exactly my p—” He stops and shakes his head, but gives a look you’ve seen before. A lot. It’s a look that says ‘I can’t believe someone as smart as you can also be so stupid’, in those exact terms. “Expected value,” he then says, and your eyes widen a little. Maths! Great. You can do maths. “Let’s say there’s a 99% chance nothing happens. Your gain is still minimal.”
Well, you get to study late and enjoy a walk home alone at night, but you’re willing to humor him.
“But in the one per-cent where something bad happens…”
He doesn’t have to finish his sentence. You know exactly where this is going, and you let out a sigh. He’s not wrong. On that aspect, at least.
“Fine.”
He grins widely.
“I just beat you at maths.”
“You didn’t beat me, I—”
“I just beat you at maths!”
You roll your eyes, choose to let him have that. It’s not going to change anything to your behavior after tonight, because the day has not come where you’ll let probabilities rule your life, but, after all, you don’t mind sharing your night walk with him.
Jungkook starts showing up to walk you home whenever he can. It’s not every time, which you’re kind of thankful for — you like his company, but you like being alone just as much, and you need a healthy dose of that every week —, but it does happen regularly. You find him sitting in front of the library, freezing cold, and you take pity on him, buying him a coffee from the vending machine inside, seconds before they lock the building.
That’s how you find out he likes his coffee tasting as little like coffee as possible.
Sometimes, he joins you later, and you hear him jogging to catch up with you. You don’t have the heart to tell him that that defeats the purpose of everything he’s doing, because it’s absolutely terrifying.
As the days turn into weeks, the air becomes colder, and you start seeing Christmas decorations appearing over the campus. You don’t know who is in charge of doing that, but they must be excited about it, because tinsel and few strings of fairy lights start appearing around the campus at the end of November. Jungkook is delighted by it, and you enjoy watching his reactions. You’re not big on Christmas, personally. You enjoy the tradition, the gift-giving, spending time with your family — you’re visiting them briefly this year — but you mostly see Christmas as an excuse for all of that. Jungkook loves it, though, and you decide that his excitement makes you like the season a little more.
“Hey, we should make a stop,” he tells you one night.
You look at him like he’s crazy. It’s the middle of December and it’s already half past nine. You’re cold, it’s dark outside, and you want to go home.
“A stop?” you repeat.
“Oh, c’mon,” he says, and he has that wide, childish grin that you’ve seen only a handful of times. You haven’t learned how to resist it yet. “C’mon!”
You sigh. But you follow.
As it turns out, he takes you just a little way off your usual trajectory. Behind a building you’ve never really paid attention to, Jungkook leads you to a small basketball court. You eye the place suspiciously. It’s empty, well lit, but you never know. A ball might come out of nowhere to hit you in the face, as they had a tendency to do when you were in high school and playing for a team that had picked you last.
By the time you turn around to tell Jungkook that, okay, you’ve seen it, let’s go home now, he’s taken off his coat and pulled a basketball out of his bag. You don’t even want to ask. His grin is even wider than earlier.
“C’mon,” he says.
“Absolutely not.”
“Let me show you, okay?”
You want to say no but— It can’t hurt, right? And Jungkook loves basketball, and you’re his— friend or something, so you should try to take some interest in it.
You take off your coat and let him lead you onto the court. There, you watch him as he dribbles in what you guess is an effective way (you can’t know for sure, you’re barely able to catch the ball after it’s bounced once so your standards are incredibly low), and then demonstrates his ability to score a handful of times. It’s not that you’re not impressed — again, you can’t do anything with this unpredictable, devilish round thing — but you also can’t say this is a quality you think much of.
You liked it a lot better when he convinced you to let him walk you home by talking about the expected value.
“You want to try?” he offers, holding the ball out for you.
You would rather die.
But you take the ball from his hand and eye the basket like it’s personally offended you. That makes Jungkook laugh.
“You can get closer than that,” he says.
You hold back a groan, aim and, of course, fail. It’s almost a relief. You can cross that off your list, again, just like you did as a kid first, then as a teenager. You’re bad at sports, always have been and, considering the effort you’re putting into it those days, always will be. That’s something you can count on.
Before you can say anything, Jungkook’s caught the ball and is running back towards you.
“Okay, let me show you.”
Is he going to— No, he’s just demonstrating it. You’re kind of disappointed not to get your typical ‘guy teaching girl anything sports related’ moment, disappointed that he doesn’t come to stand behind you to show you like they do in movies, but you can’t unpack that right now. You do watch with some degree of interest as he shows you how to position yourself.
“So you really aim for the line above the basket, not the basket, okay?”
“If you think that just because I aim for something I hit it…”
He chuckles, then gives the ball back to you, and you sigh. This. This is why you hate sports. It’s not the one-off failure, that would be fine on its own. It’s the constant humiliation whenever you even try it. You’re going to fail this attempt, and the next one, and the one after that. You’re a lost cause. You’re fine with it, too, but you don’t particularly want to go through that again.
You do your best, though. Not because you think it will change something, but because you kind of want to prove that this isn’t all you. That, even if you’re trying your hardest, there’s just something that refuses to let you score or do it right.
“Wait!” Jungkook walks over to you, puts his hand on your back, and you freeze. “You need to straighten yourself a little,” he says, placing his hand between your shoulder blades, and you nod. His hand is warm and large, you can feel it even over your sweatshirt. “There.”
He removes the hand, and you’re left a little off balance without him by your side. You shake your head quickly, shoot, and, without any surprise, miss.
Jungkook is on the ball just as fast as before, but you’re as quick as him to grab your coat and put it back on. You’re already feeling warm all over, though.
“You don’t want to try again?” he asks, sounding genuinely disappointed.
Of course, you take pity on him.
“Maybe next time,” you say.
He gives you a bright smile, so genuinely happy, and you know that you won’t be able to deny him next time either.
Jin is the reason you’re here, and that is the version you will stick with. No, you didn’t want to go see a basketball game, even if Jungkook is playing. No, you didn’t feel the slightest bit curious about it. No, you would not be there if Jin hadn’t asked. It’s Jin’s fault if you’re here on a Friday night instead of being, well, at your place, likely doing something equally as unproductive.
You don’t even understand what is going on in the field. There’s a lot of running and throwing the ball, that’s for sure, but then, you’ve just learned that scoring from different places in the field and at different moments will not earn the players the same amount of points.
You don’t think you’ve ever seen your friends look at you with such consternation as when they had to explain it to you.
In that situation, you can’t say that you get much from looking at the field. You definitely follow Jungkook with your eyes, cheer and clap when he scores, and let out cries of disappointment with the rest of the crowd when he doesn’t, but truly, the only way you have any idea what’s going on is by looking at the score board. And the truth is, that score is a little too close for comfort.
You hate that it has that much of an impact on you, but it stresses you out. Your leg bounces on the floor, an habit of yours Jin hates, but he’s too focused to notice, which is only more stressful. Jin always notices, and if it doesn’t, it must mean that the situation is dire.
The remaining seconds are slowly ticking down. Jungkook’s team is ahead by only one point, which means that if the other team scores, they will win. You think. You’re not entirely sure, but for your defense, you’ve just heard about it. Jungkook seems to be everywhere on the field. Taehyung is his shadow, perhaps not as noticeable or as spectacular in his actions, but certainly effective.
Again, you have no knowledge of basketball whatsoever.
Jin grabs your thigh, and only then do you realize that something’s happened. The action was so quick, so smooth, that you missed it entirely — but maybe you were also kind of thinking of something else.
Someone from the other team — you don’t even know your school’s team’s players, you’re not going to learn the other ones — just made a break for it. Based on what you can tell, Taehyung blocked his path, pushing him straight into Jungkook’s arms. In a movement you cannot begin to comprehend, Jungkook takes the ball from him, without ever stopping his run.
After that, he’s unstoppable.
He crosses the field, looking almost like he’s dancing in the way he avoids his opponents, and, of course, scores.
The time falls to zero. The crowd stands up like one man, screaming and shouting, and you yourself find yourself jumping up to hug Jin. He hugs you back, but the two of you quickly separate, patting each other’s backs awkwardly.
Jin starts talking with Namjoon and Yoongi, but you tune them out — it’s not like you understand what they’re saying anyway — to look at the field. The players have lifted Jungkook on their shoulders and he’s laughing, holding on to them so he doesn’t fall, and you grin.
“Come on,” Jin says, “let’s go congratulate him!”
That sounds like a terrible idea, you think. You won’t be the only ones, as the crowd has already invaded the field, and you doubt you’ll be able to get very close.
You still follow him. You alternate between clinging to his arm and to his shoulders so you don’t lose him, and trust him to elbow his way through the crowd. You hear him apologizing profusely in front of you, but he does not stop. Slowly, you make it down. Once you’re off the stairs, people are not as compactly gathered, and you can just walk between them. Jin grins at you, and you give him a thumbs up. Yeah, he did good here. You can give him that.
“Hey, Jungkook!” he calls out.
Jungkook was talking with some girls, but he looks up at the sound of his name, excuses himself, and jogs towards the two of you.
And it is then, in the few seconds it takes him to get to you, that it hits you. Like a ton of bricks.
You had known that Jungkook was objectively attractive, of course. There was no ignoring that. But Jin was objectively attractive, too, and that had never changed anything between the two of you. With Jungkook, right now, it does. His skin is glistening with sweat, and he wipes his chin with his shirt, and oh no, you can see his well-defined biceps and the line of his abs, and some hair is escaping from his ponytail, and he’s grinning with a happy, proud smile, and his eyes are shining and—
Jungkook is hot. That’s your realization. You had been aware of it, technically, but it’s like it only clicks for you at that exact moment.
“You came,” he tells you with a bright smile, and you can feel your entire face heating up. You pray that it’s not visible.
“Yeah,” you squeak out. “Great, um, great game?”
It sounds like an interrogation because you have no idea if it was one. It looked difficult, but maybe that was because they played terribly today. You don’t know that.
Jungkook’s smile widens a little, and you know that he has you all figured out. He knows you don’t understand the first thing about this whole thing.
“Thanks,” he still says.
His chest is still heaving quickly, and it draws your attention to his— his everything. The way he’s leaning towards you as he’s trying to catch his breath doesn’t help either. You wait for Jin to say something, to save you, but when you look around, you realize the traitor has abandoned you completely.
Okay, he hasn’t technically abandoned you, he’s just gone to congratulate Taehyung, but it’s the same difference.
You hear someone else calling Jungkook’s name before you’ve figured out what to say. He looks around, then gives you an apologetic look.
“Sorry, I—”
“No problem, you should— I have to go anyway.”
This is not like you. You’re an awkward person, and you struggle in social situations, but you don’t usually trip over your words like that. You kind of hate it.
“Okay, so, um, I’ll see you…?”
“Wednesday, yeah. Or— before. At lunch. If you’re there.”
This is terrible.
“Okay.” Jungkook gives you one last smile, and then he’s off, and you’re standing alone in the middle of a crowd. Your chest is heavy and it feels painful.
You hate this.
It’s only after that that you start realizing how big of a part Jungkook now plays in your life. He walks you home at night sometimes. You eat with him once or twice a week. You study together for an entire afternoon on Wednesdays. He’s just— everywhere. And it’s not that it’s a bad thing, because the feeling you get when you see him is a pleasant one, but it is disconcerting. It’s something that you have no control over whatsoever and that’s not— that’s not good for you.
You realize how much attention you were already paying to him, too, which is even more annoying. The signs were there. You should have understood this sooner. If you had, maybe you could have prevented it.
Because that’s the thing. You know the situation is ridiculous. You believe Jungkook sees you as a friend, and you’re happy with that, but there is no way he thinks of you as anything else. That is not an idea you should even begin to entertain. You can handle rejection, you’re used to it in so many aspects, though it’s rarely romantic, but you cannot take getting your hopes up only for them to be crushed.
The thing is, you can’t help it at this point, can’t force your feelings back in. There is so much to like about him. The way he plays with his hair, the quiet laughs when he’s in public, the loud ones when he’s walking you home, the sparkle in his eyes when he asks you a question in maths and it turns out he already had it right, the look on his face when he talks about basketball,… There’s so much.
You briefly consider avoiding him, but that’s not really an option. You like being his friend. You see your feelings as annoying, pesky little things that have no business being there in the first place. You don’t even hate the rush that goes through you when you see him, the way just looking at him brings a smile to your lips that you simply can’t hold back.
But you really, really hate the wishful thinking. The hope.
The feelings are fine, as long as you don’t think too hard about it. As long as he doesn’t have a girlfriend. Because that would break your heart.
And it’s only a matter of time before that happens.
You really considered declining when Jin asked you to come to this New Year’s party. Your last experience had effectively convinced you that those new parties he was getting invited to were not for you. That was fine, to each their own, but that did mean you didn’t really want to go. He clearly didn’t need you there anyway. You didn’t even know why he asked.
But he did, and he insisted, and he gave you his best puppy eyes, and that’s the thing about Jin: he’s very, very good at giving puppy eyes.
So that’s why you’re there, wearing a red dress that’s way too flashy for you, leaning against a wall and staring into the void. You feel empty and, though you’re not alone, lonely. You’re surrounded by strangers, and there are people everywhere in the house, but you don’t know them, and you can’t just start a conversation with them. It’s not something you do, it’s not even something you want.
You haven’t felt the urge to lock yourself inside a closet yet, though, so you guess that’s an improvement compared to last time.
Looking around, you can see Jimin, perched on the counter, listening to Yoongi talk with a smile on his face. Jin is somewhere else in the room and, though you can’t see him, you sometimes hear him, so you know he has his flirting voice on. Namjoon is nowhere to be seen, but that’s probably a good sign. He always get lucky at those parties. You don’t know how he does it. It’s impressive, honestly. Hoseok showed up earlier, and everyone greeted him like he was a star — which is kind of accurate, actually, at the campus’ scale.
You know, of course, that Jungkook and Taehyung, as inseparable as ever, are by the pool table. You also hate that you know it, because now your mind is constantly wondering if it’s weird that you haven’t been there yet, or if it would be weird to show up. Neither, probably, because exactly no one cares except for you, but you’re the master of torturing yourself with useless considerations.
God, you hate having a crush. It’s just so— unpractical. You also hate that you didn’t see that one coming, and that you didn’t do anything about it until it was too late. Usually, you’re pretty good at nipping those kinds of feelings in the bud. Now, you can only wait it out.
With a sigh, you push yourself away from the wall to wander aimlessly around the house. You promised Jin you’d stay until midnight, and you intend to keep that promise. It’s not like there’s anything for you to do, but still, that way you can look like you’re doing something and look a little less weird. Or maybe you don’t. It doesn’t really matter anyway.
Passing in front of the room with the pool table, you realize that Jungkook is gone. Taehyung is still there, playing with Hoseok, both looking pretty wasted, but Jungkook has vanished. That’s not good. You don’t want him to spring up on you out of nowhere like he did last time. You won’t know how to react if that happens, probably fumble for words, and it will be very unpleasant and very embarrassing for everyone.
You consider finding another closet, then decides against it. There’s just fifteen minutes left until midnight, anyway. That’s not too long. You can just wait it out.
You slowly make your way through the house. No sign of Jungkook anywhere. Maybe he left. Maybe he’s already back to the pool table and you missed him completely. Maybe he’s locked himself in a room with a girl and—
Oh you hate this. You hate feeling jealous. You hate that you have no control over it, you hate that it makes you sad, you hate that you have no right to feel like that. Jungkook isn’t yours. He’s probably even considered you for anything. You should consider yourself lucky you’re even friends with him in the first place.
You do your best to push everything out of your mind. Alcohol has never looked more tempting, but you don’t want the hangover with the morning, so you ignore the inviting bottles of beer and walk out.
It’s freezing — of course it’s freezing, it’s December you idiot, is there anything you can do right tonight — and you shiver, but you stay there. The cold is both numbing and soothing, and while you’re mentally complaining about it, you’re not thinking about anything else, so that’s good.
The door opens and closes behind you, and you guess someone is coming out to smoke. You move over to give them some space, but just as you do that, a jacket falls over your shoulders. You jump at first, and then the warmth makes you sigh in relief.
“You shouldn’t go out without a coat,” Jungkook says, because of course it’s him.
“I feel that you’ve been scolding me a lot recently,” you chuckle, glancing up at him.
He pouts, buries his hands in his pockets. He’s obviously cold as well, but at least his shirt covers his arms.
It also hugs his muscles real nice, but that’s besides the point.
“That’s because you make very poor decisions,” he mutters, looking at his feet. “You have to realize that.”
“You’re right. I could have taken my coat outside.”
“You know that walking back all alone in the middle of the night is way worse,” he protests, and then you laugh, because that’s exactly what you wanted, and he goes quiet for a second. “Don’t make fun of me,” he mumbles, looking away from you again.
“I’m not,” you say, and you take a step in his direction so you can bump your shoulder against his. “You shouldn’t worry that much, but I think it’s nice that you do. I was just trying to get a rise out of you.”
“That worked really well,” he says, and he sounds surprised about it. You wonder if it’s because he usually doesn’t get angry for stuff, but you can’t tell for sure. “Hey, you—”
People start shouting numbers inside, and you turn around to look at them.
“It’s midnight,” you say.
“Five!”
You look up at Jungkook. He’s significantly taller than you. Not as much as Namjoon, but still.
“Four!”
Jungkook looks back at you, smiles, and it takes your breath away. His hair looks very good like that, you think absent-mindedly, with the way it falls on either side of his face.
“Three!”
It’s too late to go back inside now. It would definitely be a weird thing to do. Which means you’re here, alone, with Jungkook.
“Two!”
Your eyes flicker to his lips. You wonder what it would be like to kiss them. You haven’t let yourself even consider it before, but right now your brain isn’t functioning all that well. Probably because of how loud your heart is beating in your chest.
“One!”
You look back up and his eyes are wide and focused on you. There’s that same tension in his shoulders as when you first met him, except, back then, he couldn’t look at you, and now it seems that he can’t look away.
“Happy new year!”
You decide you shouldn’t think about your next move. You get on your tiptoes to plant a kiss at the corner of his lips, right at the border between friends and something else, but he leans forward right at that moment, and his hands cup your face, and then he’s kissing you.
It’s like an explosion. You don’t know what you should focus on. How warm he is, how soft and large his hands are, how his lips move against yours, how he tastes, or simply the fact that he’s kissing you, Jungkook is kissing you!
The door slams open, and the two of you move away in a jump.
“Happy new year Jungkook!” Taehyung shouts, obviously drunk, soon joined by several other members of the basketball team. If he’s seen what happened, he doesn’t say anything, and you doubt Taehyung would have that kind of control over himself.
Soon, Jungkook is surrounded and they start to drag him back inside. He gives you a brief, apologetic look, then follows them, laughing. You remain there, frozen, unsure of what to do. You take a hesitant step towards the door, only to see a girl planting kisses on his cheeks while he blushes. What gets to you, though, is the arm he’s wrapped around her, the way he’s tracing circles on the naked skin of her shoulder. It makes the gesture look… intimate. Personal.
You let out a brief, bitter laugh, that there is fortunately no one to hear. You feel confused, but mostly, you feel stupid.
Fuck that.
It doesn’t take long for you to drop the jacket onto a chair and find your coat. You wish a happy new year to Namjoon, when you pass by him on your way out, and he looks a little surprised, like he hasn’t heard the shouting. You don’t want to know what he could have been up to.
You’ve kept your end of the bargain, you think as you leave. Jin won’t be able to complain to you. You feel some petty sort of satisfaction when you step outside and find yourself alone alone, finally. You like this. You like being alone. You’ve never asked for anything else.
You give one last look to the party, then vanish into the night. You’re better off on your own anyway.
“I don’t think I’ll be coming,” you say, nonchalantly, as everyone around the table is talking animatedly about a party for the next week-end.
You had hoped it would go unnoticed in the middle of the conversation, but, unfortunately, that doesn’t go as planned. Taehyung turns horrified eyes towards you, Jin, Namjoon and Yoongi all look surprised, and Jungkook… You don’t know how to read him. There’s that surprise, as well, but then he looks down before you can tell anything else. Not that that changes much. He’s barely looked at you today.
You haven’t talked to him since New Year’s Eve. You had other things on your mind, and then he didn’t show up at the library last Wednesday.
“What do you mean, you won’t be coming?” Jin asks. “You always come to parties.”
You shrug. You don’t miss the alarmed looks your friends are exchanging, and you’re sure Namjoon can see through you. Because it’s not like you to do something like that, whatever reason you may give.
“I don’t like them. They’re too loud, and I can’t say that I really enjoy standing alone for half the night.”
“You could stay with us,” Namjoon offers.
“And watch you pick up a girl every time? No thank you,” you reply with a disgusted shiver.
“You could stay with me,” Yoongi says.
You give him a look, and he grimaces, backing down immediately. Okay. He can see why you wouldn’t want that either. Plus he’s pretty sure that Jimin and him are about to get it on after weeks of flirting, so it’s probably not a great idea.
“What about me?” Jin asks. He doesn’t sound as energetic as usual, his voice almost quiet, and you realize that he probably feels bad because of what you said. He knows you come to those parties because of him, so knowing you don’t have fun at all when you’re attending — you understand that he might feel responsible.
“I think I would bore you very quickly,” you chuckle. “You’re not going to get the fun you want with me. But it’s fine, really. I tried it, and now I know it’s not for me. I can just—”
“No,” Taehyung says.
You blink.
“No?”
“I’m taking this personally,” he tells you, looking you dead in the eye. “You’re coming to this party and I’m going to make you enjoy yourself.”
You’ve never seen him so serious, and you can’t help it. You burst out laughing.
“Taehyung,” you say softly when you’re done. “I appreciate that, I do, but I don’t want to do that anymore.”
Taehyung opens his mouth, then winces and closes it. You’re not sure what happened there, but he gives Jungkook an offended look.
“I’m sorry,” you add. “I’m sure your parties can be great, but—”
“I get it,” he sighs. “But you owe me.”
You’re not sure why, but fine.
“And you can’t say anything bad about those parties, to anyone. Ever.” In that moment, he looks almost threatening, and you blink, confused. He can’t possibly take it that seriously, can he?
Then he yelps and rubs his leg. He gives Jungkook another annoyed look, but Jungkook doesn’t even look up from his food.
“Leave her alone,” he just mumbles.
Taehyung rolls his eyes, but doesn’t add anything. He does give you a long, pointed glance, though, before muttering under his breath something that sounds a lot like “I won’t let that slander stand,” and you think that’s hilarious too.
When you risk a glance at Jungkook, his arms are folded over his chest, and he looks deep in thought. He’s chewing on his bottom lip, eyes focused on his meal, though he’s not touching it. It’s stupid, but the image of a child that has just been scolded flashes in your mind.
“Jungkook? Is everything alright?”
He jumps at your question, looks at you like a deer caught in headlights. Your eyes meet, but it’s extremely brief, and your chest tightens. This sucks. You thought the two of you had gotten past that now, and you hate that you lost what you had. It’s not like it’s your fault. He kissed you, and then he bailed on you first chance he got. Why would he do that, why would he risk it, if he was going to react like that afterwards?
“I’m fine,” he says with a tense smile, and you doubt it’s true, but you don’t know what you should ask him to confront him about it. You don’t want to talk about the kiss ever again. You certainly don’t want to do it in front of your friends.
So you jump on the first chance you get to leave the table. You don’t ask yourself if it’s a weird thing to do. It probably is, but fuck it, you’re weird, and everyone else can deal with it. You refuse to subject yourself to something unpleasant longer than absolutely necessary.
Except the looks you get are mostly concerned ones, from Namjoon and Jin. Jungkook does look up as you walk away, eyes following you almost longingly, and then he lets out a long sigh that catches Taehyung’s attention. He doesn’t say anything, but he narrows his eyes at him.
God. He really has to get everything done here, doesn’t he?
At first, you think that this is it. Your— your whatever it was that you had with Jungkook is over. You’ll see him around every now and then, and maybe he’ll give you a polite nod, though it doesn’t look like he would even do that right now, but there won’t be anything else. You’ll go back to being basically strangers, and it will be fine, because really, nothing happened there, right? You had a crush on him, he kissed you once, and then nothing. It’s fine. You’ll be fine.
Sure, it makes you a little sad. Sure, you catch yourself looking at him while he’s surrounded by girls who are all so much better for him than you ever were, and it hurts a little. Sure, walking back home alone at night is a little more unpleasant than it used to be, but that’s the thing. It’s only a little. You would almost pat yourself on the back for it. Congrats, (Y/N). You made it out before you got too attached. You probably avoided a world of hurt.
Because you know. You know that if you had gotten in too deep, it would have hurt like hell to not have Jeon Jungkook. And sure, it hurts right now.
But only a little.
You’re good. You’re safe. You know that Namjoon and Yoongi would nod if you told them about it. They understand, in a way a lot of other people don’t. You don’t think that Jin would, for example. He would tell you to take the risk, not understanding that people like Jungkook used to pick you last for their teams when you were in high school, not understanding that as far as you’re concerned, you’ve handled more than enough rejection throughout your life. But Namjoon and Yoongi… They’re definitely more successful than you in matters of the heart, but they would still understand. Not that you’re going to tell them about it, because it’s a stupid story, because there never was anything there, and because you’d feel really dumb talking about how you thought, how you hoped that— You’re not going to tell them anything. At least everything’s okay now.
And then, Jungkook appears at your usual table at the library on a Wednesday afternoon. He drops his bag on the floor and takes a seat next to you. You’re surprised to see him when you look up, too focused on your studies to notice him approaching. He has big, wide doe eyes, and he watches your reaction carefully.
“You’re— This seat isn’t taken?”
You shake your head. No. People rarely come here, and you don’t really study with people. Well, didn’t, you suppose.
“Do you mind if I sit here?“
“The seat’s free. You can take it if you want.”
You don’t know what to do. You don’t know how to react. This wasn’t supposed to happen. You never considered that Jungkook would— That he would—
“I, um, I like studying with you. It helps me focus,” he says, eyes flickering away from you. “So, if you don’t mind I’ll— Can I come back here on Wednesdays?”
You want to tell him that you can’t stop him, that he can do whatever the hell he want, but even though it’s on the tip of your tongue, you don’t.
“Of course you can,” you say instead.
Jungkook looks up long enough to flash you a smile, and you know. This isn’t over, and you’re not going to be fine. You’re probably going to feel crushed, sooner than later, and you could have stopped it all right now.
You think about Yoongi and how not like him it is to be doing what he is with Jimin. How he’s taking a risk. How it could oh so easily not have paid off.
It’s going to, of course. You just need to look at Jimin’s eyes when he’s talking to Yoongi to know that. But Jungkook doesn’t look at you like that. Jungkook doesn’t look at you at all.
And yet here you are. Taking that exact same risk.
God. You can be so stupid some times.
Jungkook glances at you quickly while you’re deep in thought, tapping your pencil against your cheek, and a small smile forms on his lips. He’s quick to glance away, because he would hate it if you caught him, of course, but the smile doesn’t fade.
He couldn’t have forced it to do so if he tried.
“You have to come to the next game.”
“Taehyung, hey, nice to see you to, I’m doing fine, I—”
“I’m serious, (Y/N). I know you hate basketball and everything that breathes, but—”
“I don’t hate you.”
“—this is really important and— Wait, really? Thank you. I feel that means a lot coming from you.”
“Is that how you see me? I don’t hate everyone, Taehyung.”
“Can you give me a list of people you don’t hate?”
“Well, you, Jin, Yoongi, Namjoon…”
“Jungkook?”
“…Sure. Jungkook. Why do you want me to come to the next game?”
“Because we might lose.”
“And I’m supposed to change that how?”
“You owe me, remember?”
“I— Because of the parties? Seriously? I need to sit through hours of you guys running after a ball because I don’t like parties?”
“I would really appreciate it if you could avoid describing basketball as ‘guys running after a ball’.”
“I would really appreciate not having to go watch the game.”
“Don’t you want to support your friends on the team?”
“Ugh. Fine. I’ll be there. Just— stop that thing you’re doing with your eyebrows. Why are you even doing that?”
“You’re so slow. How are you so slow? I thought you were supposed to be smart!”
“Taehyung…”
“Just be there!”
“I will.”
“You better!”
“Or what, what will you— Taehyung! You can’t just run off like— Well. I guess he could.”
You hadn’t thought sitting through a basketball game could become a more painful experience to you than it already was. As it turns out, you were wrong. It was so much worse when the people you wanted to win were losing. Despite yourself, you found yourself getting invested, standing up and shouting encouragements along with Jin and Namjoon, and protesting loudly when things didn’t go your way.
You were not cut out for this. Not because you still didn’t understand half the rules — you could have by now if you had made the effort of memorizing them — but because of the stress. God, how did your friends handle that regularly? How did the players handle it? You kept looking at Jungkook. You could tell how unhappy he was with the situation, could see the disappointment settling in. He also seemed to get more nervous as time went by, which didn’t help his performance, and his words kept echoing in your mind.
”I don’t know what’s going to happen when I stop being as good.”
You’re half way through the game and things are not looking good when Taehyung waves you over. You run to the railway, straining to hear him, and when you finally understand what he’s saying, you regret making any effort at all.
“You can’t possibly be serious!”
But he is.
“You owe me, (Y/N)!”
“I’m already— What’s it even going to do?”
“Trust me on that one, okay?”
You glare at him, but he’s looking at you with his beautiful brown eyes, and there’s nothing you can do against that. You sigh deeply. Your heart is beating wildly in your chest just thinking about what he’s asking you to do. Maybe it’s not such a big deal for him, that sort of stuff, but for you— For you it’s downright insane to even consider.
“Kim Taehyung,” you hiss through gritted teeth, “if this goes bad, I’ll kill you and plant your head on a stick outside of my door to warn my enemies not to underestimate me.”
He has the audacity to shrug at that.
“It won’t go bad.”
You look up. Take a deep breath. And call Jungkook’s name.
The gym is insanely loud, and it takes both you and Taehyung’s efforts, as well as a lot of waving, for Jungkook to notice you. When he does, though, he runs towards you, worry obvious on his face. He’s looking directly at you for once, and the intensity of his stare almost makes you shiver.
“Is everything alright?” he asks when he gets there, eyes scanning you quickly to make sure that you’re okay.
“It’s fine, I just—”
“What are you doing here? You hate basketball. Did something happen?”
You shake your head. You don’t know how you’re supposed to do this, especially when he’s looking so puzzled and when he’s questioning your sanity for showing up at one of his games. You glance over at Taehyung who gives you a decided nod.
Ah. Fuck it.
Leaning over about as far as you can go, you cup Jungkook’s face, and as his expression turns to one of surprise, you kiss him. If people around notice or have a reaction, you can’t tell, because Jungkook pushes himself against you and buries his hand in your hair as he holds you. There’s not much space left for thinking in your mind, instead entirely consumed by thoughts of him. He’s completely sober this time, and you don’t taste alcohol on his tongue. He’s also not going as slow, almost desperately kissing you back, one strong hand supporting you so you don’t fall over, and you just melt.
It takes everything in you to push yourself away. When you do, you’re breathless, and he’s staring at you with eyes even wider than usual. You’re pretty sure Taehyung would want you to give an encouraging speech right now, but you don’t want to do that right now.
“I really don’t care if you’re winning or losing games,” you say instead. “If you’re sad, I’ll be sad with you, but it’s never going to change anything in how I see you. But I’ll be here encouraging you.”
He grabs your hand, squeezing it tight.
“Promise?” he asks, almost childishly.
You’re not sure which part he’s referring to, but they’re all true, so you nod.
“I promise.”
He smiles, and then both him and Taehyung are running back across the field and getting yelled at by their coach, but even from where you’re standing, you can see their smiles.
You guess that means you’re not going to murder Taehyung.
“This is actually insane. How is Jungkook even doing that?” Yoongi asks in disbelief after Jungkook scored extremely impressively yet again, and you fidget in your seat. You’re very happy to see that, though you don’t how you feel about the smug looks Taehyung is sending you, but you don’t want—
“It’s the power of love,” Jin says, nodding like he just gave an essential truth to the meaning of life.
—this. You, very specifically, don’t want this.
“Jin,” you sigh, “there’s no such thing as—”
“Actually,” Namjoon interrupts you, “I think he’s right. The power of love is a thing, and I think this is a perfect demonstration of it.”
You gape at him, in shock. He betrayed you?
“Did you just—”
“Namjoon’s right,” Yoongi nods. “This is how the power of love works. You take love, and you turn it into strength.”
And then, him, Jin and Namjoon high five, and you gasp. Traitors. All of them.
But after that, Jimin says off-handedly “Maybe you should come and kiss me before my next competition” and Yoongi’s brain visibly stops functioning, so you consider yourself avenged.
After the match, you wait for Jungkook outside of the locker room. Jin insisted you should go celebrate on the field, but you had declined. It felt like the situation required something a little more private, so now you’re here, leaning against the wall, looking at your phone so you’ll seem busy, even if there’s nothing on there to occupy yourself.
You’re not the only one there, and that doesn’t help soothing your nerves. There are a lot of girls, all pretty and smiling. It makes you feel like a groupie, and you don’t like it. You’re relieved for a second when the door opens and the team comes out, but it doesn’t last long, because the girls are soon surrounding them. You remain where you were standing, watching the whole thing happen. It takes a few moments before you notice Jungkook’s bun standing out of the group, and it makes you smile.
You catch Taehyung’s eye first, and, after you’ve sent him a glare that you hope was threatening, he pushes Jungkook out of the group. At first, he seems confused, before he finally finds you. You wave at him hesitantly. He blinks a few times, his eyes wide, then walks towards you.
“Hey,” he says when he joins you. He’s towering over you. Usually, you don’t like that, and you’ve complained about having to look up at Namjoon more than once, but you don’t necessarily mind right now.
“Hey,” you reply.
Silence stretches between the two of you as you try to think of something to say. You should have prepared a speech, you know that, but you’re pretty sure you wouldn’t have been able to say it either.
“Taehyung told me he told you to kiss me,” Jungkook blurts out after a while, looking away from you, and you give him a surprised glance. “So, you don’t have to—”
“No, I wanted to kiss you,” you interrupt him, a puzzled frown forming on your face.
Jungkook’s head whips back towards you, and you just stare at him in confusion.
“Do you really think I would have kissed you just because Taehyung asked me to?”
“Well you— you came to the game because he asked you to, right?”
“That’s not the same—”
“Jungkook!” someone from the team calls. “We’re going to grab a bite to celebrate, do you wanna come?”
Jungkook sighs, then gives you a sharp look.
“You wanted to kiss me,” he repeats.
You nod.
“Why?”
You bite your lower lip, and you’re not oblivious to the way his eyes fall to your mouth when you do.
“And I’m the blunt one,” you mumble.
“Sorry, I–”
“No, no, it’s fine, it’s just— I wanted to kiss you because I like you. Obviously.”
Jungkook swallows, and you can see his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. He looks over his shoulder at his friends.
“You can go without me!”
There are some protests, but he ignores them to give you his entire attention. It’s… not an unpleasant feeling.
“You disappeared after I kissed you the last time,” he says.
“You left,” you protest immediately. “You kissed me, and then the second your friends arrived, you acted like nothing happened and you left.”
“I didn’t want to— I just— They’re really annoying about that stuff, you know? I thought it would probably be better if I talked to you after— ‘m sorry. I didn’t— didn’t realize it—”
You look at Jungkook, watch him fumbling for words, and it hits you like a ton of bricks, how much you do like him. Those words really don’t do it justice, and maybe you’re not quite ready to talk about love just yet, but you like him so much, so much it makes your heart swell, so much you don’t think what what he’s trying to tell you would change anything to it, and yet what he’s trying to say is exactly what prompts your realization. He didn’t want to hurt you. Wanted this to be private, for just the two of you, wanted to see how you felt about it. And maybe he went the wrong way about it, but it means everything that he was trying.
“Walk me home?” you ask.
Jungkook finally stops his rambling.
“Are you sure?”
Of course, he has to ask that now, after weeks of trying to convince him to let you walk on your own. Still, you smile and nod, and when you start walking side by side, you grab his hand. He freezes temporarily before grinning and squeezing your hand, pulling it into his pocket so you won’t be too cold, because the air of January is chilling.
“Congratulations for the game,” you say after a long, comfortable silence. You had almost forgotten about it.
“Thanks,” he chuckles. “I had some help.”
And then, he winks at you, and your heart misses a beat. That’s when you understand something you hadn’t even considered before: if Jungkook stops being shy around you, you’re done for. You’ll be the one constantly flustered.
“So,” you say, slowly, trying to keep yourself composed, “why did you kiss me?”
“Um. Same as you?” Jungkook’s confidence disappears, and he returns to his awkward self, and you see that, as much as you like it, you want him to be comfortable around you. But that doesn’t mean you can’t tease him a little.
“What do you mean by that?” you ask innocently.
He gives you a horrified look that soon turns to an offended one when he notices you grinning widely.
“You’re so mean,” he says, but he’s smiling too, “you’re the meanest person I know.”
You’re laughing at that point, as you stop in front of your dorm.
“That’s not an answer.”
“Fine,” he sighs dramatically. “I kissed you because I like you.”
It’s funny. You knew that was what he was going to say, knew it was coming, and yet it gets to you all the same.
“With you, I don’t feel like I have to be the school’s star, you know? I can just be— Jungkook. You don’t expect me to be anything else.”
He’s right. You like Jungkook. With his insecurities and his flaws. You don’t want him to perform for you, and you don’t care what he’s doing right and wrong. Just studying maths in the library with him makes you happy.
He eyes your dorm and takes a deep breath.
“I should go,” he says.
You hum.
“Yes, it would be a really bad idea if you came up tonight.”
But you’re not letting go of his hand, and he’s close to you now, close enough that you can feel his breath catching in his throat. It makes you smile.
“You’re so mean,” he repeats.
This time, instead of laughing, you kiss him, and it’s completely different from the two previous times. There is no uncertainty in this kiss, no surprise, no pressure, no fear. It’s perfect. Jungkook’s hand comes to cup your cheek, his lips soft against your own. His long fingers gently stroke your jaw as he keeps the kiss chaste and sweet. It only makes you yearn for more and when he moves away, you can see in his eyes that he wants more as well.
You just don’t think he wants it now.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, then?” you ask.
“I’ll meet you for lunch,” he says solemnly, and it rings like a promise, which makes you smile.
When you move away, though, he doesn’t let go of you, and a pouty expression appears on his face before he releases you.
“I— Yeah. You should go.”
“You can come up if you want to, you know?”
He hesitates, rolls his lips together.
“I want to savor this,” he admits to you in a near whisper.
“Then I’ll go.”
“Yes. Good night.”
“Good night.”
You feel light and giddy as you walk through the door. It’s a nice and strange feeling, like you could just start floating any second.
You already can’t wait for the next day.
People are definitely weirded out by your relationship with Jungkook. Or, rather, by Jungkook’s relationship with you. You’re pretty sure most of the people who give you weird looks when you sit next to him and he wraps his arm around you, or when you walk hand in hand, wouldn’t pay attention to you if you went to class naked. But they all know who Jungkook is, and you guess it is weird to see you in conjunction with him.
They could ignore it and consider you mere part of the scenery when he ate with you, you suppose, but it is harder to do now. You’re not too fond of being the center of attention, to be honest. You don’t know how Jungkook does it.
What takes you by surprise the most is people being nice to you. That confuses you to no end, because you know for a fact they don’t care about you, not really, and you cannot fathom what they think they’re going to get out of this. You’re pretty sure there are a girl or two who are doing that to get closer to Jungkook, and some, you think, have decided to be nice to you because they think that if Jungkook likes you, you can’t be a total lost cause.
You don’t like that feeling. Not at all. You don’t like it when you’re going to class, you don’t like it during lunch, and you definitely, definitely do not like it when people rush towards you the second you get to a party.
Yeah, you’re giving Taehyung what he wanted, in the end. He said that both you and Jungkook owed him, because without him you wouldn’t be together, and you eventually gave in.
You thought it would be fine, now that you have someone to spend time with, but you understand with horror that your status has changed now. You’re not invisible anymore. You’re Jungkook’s girlfriendTM. Because of that, you spend much longer in the entrance making small talk than you would have wished to, and you’re stopped a couple of times while you’re desperately looking for your boyfriend to save you from this hell on earth.
You’re not surprised at all to find him playing beer pong with Taehyung and other guys from the team. He hasn’t gotten time to get drunk yet, so he’s quite impressive, but then again, they all are. That’s why they usually end up wasted.
The second he sees you, though, he abandons the game completely, and the smile on his face threatens to make your heart explode in your chest. Some of the guys turn around to look at you, give you a wave or a smile. Taehyung shouts a greeting.
“Hey,” Jungkook says, leaning in to press a quick kiss on your lips. He doesn’t like PDA all that much, but he never misses a chance to kiss you, and the thought makes you all giddy.
“Hey. Are you, um, having fun there?”
He shrugs.
“It’s not that bad. Wanna play?” He waits for your expression to turn to one of horror as you try to refuse politely before laughing. “Just kidding. Don’t worry about it.”
You let out a relieved breath. You know you and Jungkook are very different people, and you’re doing your best to take an interest in the things he likes. You’ve been learning the rules of basketball, for example, and though you still don’t believe you get the point, you like the way his eyes shine when you say something right about a game.
But you don’t take part in any of that stuff. Okay, you stop at that field that’s on your way home from the library every now and again, but that doesn’t count. It’s just you and him then, and you feel good and relaxed. You’ve even scored a couple of times now.
“Come on, I want to grab a drink,” Jungkook said, taking your hand in his, and you follow without protesting.
It’s probably your second mistake of the night: not realizing that getting a drink with and without Jungkook are two very different ordeals. On your way there, you get roped into several conversations. Those are fine. You can’t say you enjoy them, but they’re fine, and it’s not like those people are actually talking to you anyway.
What you genuinely dislike is that, when you’re by the table with the drinks, a girl starts openly flirting with your boyfriend. It’s not subtle, either, with the way she keeps touching his arm and how she laughs at his every word.
For a while, you just stare in disbelief. You know Jungkook is oblivious to that sort of things — probably one more reason why he likes how blunt you are — but you can’t believe her. You wouldn’t necessarily blame the girl for trying, either, if she didn’t know about you. Jungkook’s quite the catch after all, and you understand liking him better than anyone else.
No, it’s the fact that she’s doing it right in front of you, while Jungkook is holding your hand. It feels so— dismissive. So insulting. She’s not exactly saying to your face that she doesn’t take you seriously, but she might as well.
You watch incredulously when she puts her hand on his arm one more time. You don’t know how you’re supposed to handle that, so you just tug on Jungkook’s hand a little awkwardly. You’re pleased by how quickly his attention snaps to you, even while the girl is in the middle of her sentence. It’s a petty sentiment, for sure, but you can’t help it.
“Everything okay?” he asks. “Is it too loud in here?”
“Kind of, but—”
“Let’s find you a quieter place.”
He forgets about the drink he wanted to get, forgets about the girl, who he abandons there unceremoniously, gently pulling you through the room. Next thing you know, he’s carefully closing the doors of the closet he’s found for the two of you behind you.
“There,” he says, sounding satisfied with himself. “Better?”
You chuckle at that and, guessing for him in the half-light, you pull him towards you for a kiss. You press your body against his, pushing him against the back of the closet, and a groan forms in his throat. His hands tighten around you, sending shivers through your entire being, and you only lean into him more. You run your fingers over his chest, just to feel him tremble under your touch and he does, hissing with pleasure at the contact.
“Fuck,” he mumbles into your mouth. “Was that— was that what you had in mind?”
You shake your head, and he’s close enough to feel it.
“That girl was flirting with you,” you tell him.
“Oh. Are you sure?”
You are.
“So… are you jealous? Because that’s kind of hot.”
You laugh softly. Truth is, you really, really don’t want to be the jealous girlfriend, but Jungkook actually sounds happy about the idea.
“You really didn’t notice?”
There’s a moment of silence.
“I didn’t. Does that— Did it bother you, that she was doing that?”
“Kind of,” you shrug. “What about you? You’re— cool with that?”
“If it bothers you I don’t like it,” he replies simply, one of his hand leaving your waist to grab yours and squeeze it gently. “I’m sorry I didn’t notice.”
That makes you chuckle.
“How didn’t you? She would have made it barely more obvious if she had started undressing herself.”
Jungkook has an awkward laugh, and you can feel his breath on your face. He starts fidgeting, but then you press a kiss right at the corner of his lips, and he calms down, if just a little.
“It’s— You have to promise you won’t make fun of me.”
“I won’t.”
He hesitates a second longer, as though he’s trying to judge your sincerity by looking at you — except, of course, he can barely see a thing in here. You kiss him again, following his jaw, and he finally gives in when you start making your way down his neck.
“When I’m with you, it’s like my vision narrows on you,” he says, voice low. “I know everything and everyone else is still there, but I just think about you. Sorry, it’s really stupid.”
“It’s not,” you say, shaking your head, wondering if he can feel your heart beating stupidly fast in your chest, all because his words make you feel like nothing else ever has before. “But I’m— I’m kind of boring. That can’t be fun.”
“You’re not boring,” he protests. “You listen to people, even when you don’t look like it. You always look like you have a thousand things on your mind but you always make time for your friends, and when you’re studying here, you play with your hair.” He twirls a lock of your hair around one of his fingers before releasing it, as if to demonstrate. “You’re a very, very interesting person to look at.”
The only thing you can do is stay there, frozen in his arms, after he’s said that. You may be blunt, but Jungkook is honest. Devastatingly so. His vulnerability always shatters the walls that you’ve built around yourself, and you still don’t know how to react when that happens.
So you push yourself on your tiptoes to kiss him again, except this time it’s slow and gentle and you’re trying to put everything he means to you into it. The tip of your fingers are on his cheeks, your mouth barely moving against his, soft noises filling the closet. Jungkook remains still, letting you in complete control, like he’s afraid he could break you if he moved.
“Thank you,” you whisper when you pull away from him.
“For what?” he asks, breathless.
“For being here with me tonight, and for coming with me at that first party.”
“Of course. Any time.”
He lets himself fall to the floor, taking you down with him and keeping you into his lap once he’s done that. You rest your head against his chest. You hear the noises of the party still going on outside, but Jungkook is your island of peace in the middle of the chaos.
“I think I’m going to stop basketball,” Jungkook blurts out without a warning, and you look at him, surprised.
“Really?” you ask.
“Yeah. Really. I just— I don’t want to be doing that anymore.”
You think about it for a few seconds, then nod.
“You probably should stop, in that case.”
“People are… not going to be happy about it.”
“I’m sure Taehyung won’t be mad at you. Well, not for too long.”
He laughs softly, but his hold on you doesn’t relax, and you know that this was hard for him to even consider. You know it’s a terrifying decision to take, too.
“Thank you,” he says. “For being here with me tonight, too.”
“Any time.”
The truth is, you wouldn’t give that moment away for anything in the world, and something tells you Jungkook wouldn’t either. It’s not ideal, it’s not perfect, but you don’t believe there is such a thing, and you’re happy to satisfy yourself with the imperfect.
But any moment you can spend in Jungkook is as close to perfect as can be.
“I love you,” he whispers in your ear, and you think that he might feels the same way, which almost makes you burst with happiness.
“And I love you,” you whisper back.
Not perfect, perhaps. But close enough.
#jungkook x reader#bts#bts imagine#bts x reader#jeon jungkook x reader#jungkook imagine#jungkook fluff#bts fic#jungkook fanfic#jungkook#jeon jungkook#candywrites
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three's a crowd | nomin
synopsis. picking favorites is impossible when you like neither of them.
warning. read at your own risk. abuse, bullying, poly relationship, yandere themes, manipulation, nonconsensual touching, noncon, degradation, smut threesome oop
disclaimer. i do not condone whatever tf i wrote in this nor does it reflect my beliefs or values or morals and such. it is all pure fiction and i also dont think jaemin or jeno would act like this in real life.
note. this was meant to be a new year's gift lmao i obviously got a lil carried away 👀 anyway a late happy new year to you all! we survived 2020, let's start living in 2021, yeah? lmao if covid lets us grr mwah!
the relationship you had with the two of them was a weird one, bordering on taboo, but it wasn't as if you willfully chose to be who they wanted you to be and it took jaemin's unwanted pining and jeno's intimidating demeanor for you to fall right into their arms.
it was a joint effort on their part, you couldn't've possibly stood a chance.
"this many?" the cashier asked. "are you sure?"
stepping back and studying the whole situation, you figured you only had your addiction to caffeine and procrastination to blame. it was a chain reaction you didn't even know will lead up to your inevitable doom.
if you hadn't been slacking off during your first semester of junior year college, you wouldn't be forced to overwork yourself trying to catch up to the looming deadlines, but to be able to 'work yourself to the bone' you need your boost of energy… and that was when you met one of them.
"uhm," you scratch the back of your head sheepishly as you eye the six glass bottles of iced coffee. sure, it looks bad and you kinda appreciate the look of concern the cashier throws your way but it was none of his business.
"yes. now could you, like, you know… hurry up? i'm in a little bit of a time crunch right now."
screw it. although you hardly snap like that with other people on a daily basis, it'll be a whole different conversation if you were under a significant amount of stress and today, unfortunately, is one of those days.
now can he just fucking stop asking questions and give you your six bottles of death drink to keep your fucking brain going so you can pass an eight-page essay tomorrow? thank you very much!
the guy snickered, the beeping sound of a barcode being read sounding a thousand times more annoying than it usually sounds as he keeps his hand busy by punching your items out.
you fail to notice how he studies you through the gaps of his lashes, finding you interesting rather than threatening as you stood before him with your messy hair and oversized hoodie.
"haven't seen you around university grounds 'till today," he tries striking another conversation with you. "you new? i'm jaemin."
this was your first mistake, you shouldn't have been so… downright rude when you met him. if you were granted the miracle of meeting him a 2nd time, you would've acted more nice, throwing yourself at his feet even to blend in with the rest of his fangirls you didn't even know about at the time. you would've done anything to make sure he never gives you a second glance, to never pique his interest.
jaemin is the pep squad captain. flying over colored blue mats and doing tumblings in the air with no ounce of fear. he was the best in his team, that much was evident when your friend dragged you into watching a pep rally practice. his landings were clean, balanced, and executed to the best he can at all times.
no wonder he was popular, his talent is outstanding and his looks are a bonus. his killer combo of a smile and wink after pulling off a tough flip is enough to send them squealing in their seats.
he spotted you that day and since then, he snuck the quickest glances at the bench during practices. recognizing you as the coffee girl he met during his convenience store shift. jaemin tries not to let his disappointment show too much when he doesn't see you, but of course, a pair of cold calculating eyes could see right through him.
"i saw that," his boyfriend said, hand darting forward to hold jaemin's gym bag for him. "you kept looking at the crowd. do you want to see her that much?"
"but she reminds me so much of you, jeno!" he retorts, pouting at the slight grumpy tone the other boy used. "i can't help it. she doesn't seem to give a fuck around me so she's quite interesting. maybe she can even be a great addition to our relationship!"
"well," jeno replies after a beat of silence, plastering a small smirk on his face before slinging an arm around jaemin's shoulder.
"convince me?"
you don't like jaemin's attention. not in the slightest. and it seems that was enough reason for the reign of terror his little fanclub has subjected you too.
it wasn't the petty elementary forms of bullying like pulling at your hair or calling you names. they pale in comparison to the other things they do to you—beating you up, messing with your homework, "accidentally" dumping their food trays on you.
and you weren't stupid.
you knew exactly who was behind it, knew how jaemin spectates the whole thing from afar so that he can swoop in at the end to play your knight in shining armor.
"oh, you poor thing. do you need help?"
the first time you accepted his "help" you ended up in a supply closet near the gym during your free period, cornered and weak as your cries for help drowns under the squeaking of shoes and the booming sounds of rubber balls hitting the floor.
if it weren't for jeno appearing out of thin air and prying the boy off of you, you would've been painted blue and red from the death grip he had on your wrist, neck, and waist.
you can still remember feeling the soreness of your scalp from when he pulled your hair too hard. remembered feeling his teeth gnawing at your lips as if he wanted to tear them off.
that time hadn't been the first time you saw jeno. you've shared a few classes with him and it strikes you how polar opposites they are with one another.
while jaemin likes to bask in his professor and classmates' recognition by confidently reciting his answers, jeno would rather keep to himself. liked sitting at the last row, near the window, so he'd be the first to go once the professor ends their lecture. while jaemin loved the attention of his fangirls, jeno preferred solitude. while jaemin is impulsive and wild, jeno liked to think things through.
it was within these reasons that you decided to do what you did. but your judgement of character has never been more wrong.
you approached jeno one day in the library, tried to make yourself appear as stoic and confident as possible. but your constant slouching and averting eyes was a dead giveaway.
you came to talk to him about what jaemin has been doing, hoping there's one person left in this entire school that isn't under the cheer captain's trance. the one reasonable person that has already saved you once and (hopefully) is willing enough to save you again. the only one that probably has a certain level of control over jaemin, if the supply closet incident is anything to go by.
but you've overestimated lee jeno.
"you should've just given jaemin what he wanted."
"but—but aren't you two lovers? isn't it bothering you?"
you try baiting him, only for an uncomfortable shiver to start crawling down your spine when he chuckled humorlessly, pushing his school materials to the side while pinning you with an unreadable stare.
how can a person make someone feel so small just by a gaze alone? it was nothing like you've felt with jaemin. this is way worse.
"the only thing that's bothering me is why you're not ours yet."
you feel cold fingers creeping their way under your shirt, going higher and higher until it brushes against your bra. and when your eyes meet, the look on his face was unmistakable—what are you going to do about it, huh?
you stood up in lightning speed, the chair you've been sitting on scraping loudly against the floor.
you've never ran out as fast as you did.
and jeno swears it'll be the last.
you tried everything in your power to ignore them for the next following weeks but it soon became useless when the two boys took it upon themselves to give you your space.
although judging by the pinpricks you feel on your back, and the constant weight of a stare you feel on your shoulders, you knew they weren't done with you yet. far from it. and for some reason, you just knew they wanted to lull you into a false sense of security first before striking again.
and while they continued to ogle at you from afar like a hawk circling its prey in a desert, you took it upon yourself to return the favor. not because you were the slightest bit interested in those creeps but maybe, just maybe, if you look hard enough you'll find a way out, a weakness.
but what you realized made your insides churn in great discomfort—although it may seem that jeno holds the reins in the relationship since his reserved nature fits the role, it's actually the other way around.
jaemin might appear too self-centered, too focused on himself to give a fuck about his surroundings but in actuality, he has quite a knack for reading people. even more so than jeno. and it was scary how he used it to his advantage, and paired up with his devoted fangirls? it was hell on earth.
you found it alarming how the two seem to magically appear wherever you are.
although you weren't in the least bit surprised. for some reason, you can't take your eyes away when jaemin's devotees flock around him (and jeno) in a circle.
it almost reminds you of a shoal of piranhas, waiting for their meal to drop into the water before ripping it to shreds with their teeth. only their "meal" isn't actual flesh but the carefully crafted words jaemin says that drive them into a sick frenzy.
one that has them doing everything in their power to satisfy him like the loyal dogs they are.
so this was how he got them to bully you?
"oh, that? don't worry! yangyang just ran into me during cheer rehearsal. no biggie. my cheek stung a little bit, though…" is what he said but really he's telling them "scruff him up a bit for me, why don't ya?"
"of course, i can't be the best all the time. haechan is just too good, maybe even better than me…" is what he said but really he's telling them "can you remind him where his place should be?"
all the while jeno did nothing to hold him back.
no matter how wrong jaemin is, how much of an asshole he is, jeno will stick by his side through and through. so as much as jaemin is a puppeteer that gets a kick for controlling people, jeno is as much at fault for looking the other way.
because in jeno's perspective, why the fuck would he do shit when he can just get off from the entertainment that comes with jaemin's sweet little mind games?
we lost :(
you had been busy sorting through paperwork for one of your professors in the faculty when your friend texted you the results of the intercollegiate cheer dance competition. a frown paints your face, heart feeling heavy at the bad news.
in all honesty, you still supported the pep squad—you just hated the captain and his boyfriend. they've been practicing non-stop for this and prior to the weeks of the competition, jeno looked a lot more tense and jaemin less smiley than usual. you swore you even saw the latter snap at one of his fangirls.
not to mention, they paid less attention to you, too, and it was the best three weeks of your life.
tension starts rising in your shoulders, fingers absentmindedly running through the edge of the papers you had been sorting until you became immersed with your thoughts.
jaemin must be in the worst mood yet.
and jeno too, probably. if anything, that guy gets triggered the most when something bad happens to jaemin or when he catches snippets of people talking shit about his oh so "perfect" boyfriend.
jeno is a lot scarier when jaemin is in one of his mood swings, you noticed. he steps up in the relationship to offer comfort to the other boy and for outsiders? it isn't a great experience to go through—being on the receiving end of jeno's ice cold stare is a position you don't want to find yourself in after that time in the library.
he is still as much a threat to your peaceful life like his lover.
you snap out of it when the blinding headlights of a vehicle seep through the closed blinds. you hear the gentle hum of an engine switching off as the headlights vanished as quick as they had appeared. that must be the cheer squad's bus.
as you look around the empty faculty room, something in your gut tells you to ditch file sorting duty for professor kim tonight and fucking get the hell out of campus grounds as quick as you can.
after haphazardly throwing the unsorted papers back into the cabinet, you groan aloud when the keys to the office drop out of your skirt’s pocket.
the indoor gym where the cheering squad practices is right across the hallway. you sure as hell don't want to bump into jaemin. or jeno, too, if he had decided to ride along the cheer squad's bus on the way home.
you kept looking for the keys underneath the cubicles, cursing aloud when you heard the telltale squeaks of shoes rubbing against linoleum. you almost hit your head against a table when you quickly got back up your feet, darting forward to shut the lights for the faculty room.
they can't know you're here. alone. and if it meant sitting in the dark for a few hours 'till they leave, meant going back home a little later than usual is what you have to do then so be it.
you try not to react so violently when the door you're leaning on jolts when someone from outside slams their back against it.
"it's not like we didn't do our best, right guys? i don't have regrets. it might sound fucking cheesy and although i'm sad myself, atleast we did what we can."
it's jaemin. his voice clear as day.
you try peaking, craning your neck up from your place on the floor. only to see the back of his head leaning against the glass section of the door. someone else joins in on the conversation, followed by coach park himself, and you slowly tune out whatever they're saying as you stealthily start scanning the faculty room.
you curse under your breath. is there no other exit other than this door? jesus christ! even classrooms in this university had two doors—
"what are you doing here?"
the switch flickers on, basking the once dark room with light. only when you hear an echo of your name being called, did you snap out of it and quickly picked yourself up from the floor.
"i said, what are you doing here?"
their coach asks, drilling the question as he looks at you skeptically with his arms crossed. you try not to look at the people behind him.
particularly, not at his cheer captain standing on his right.
particularly, not at jeno, who stands out like a sore thumb with his blue hair, a protective arm snaked around jaemin’s shoulders.
this isn't your lucky day, too, you guess.
"i was…" you cursed yourself for stuttering. "i was, uhm, i was file sorting for prof—professor kim, sir."
coach park looked like he didn't believe you as he narrowed his eyes in scrutiny. your nerves are going haywire and you can feel the sharp pins of their stare with how close they are.
you kept juggling your weight with the balls of your feet, hands fisting and unfisting behind your back. you want to leave. you have to leave.
"file sorting… in the dark?" he asked incredulously.
fuck this.
"uhm, you can ask professor kim himself tomorrow, coach. for now, uh, i'll be going now. i'm sorry you guys lost…"
originally, the exit is on the right side, at the end of the hallway. but no, you are not going to pass by those two while on your way out so you ducked behind a random student standing on the coach's left instead and practically ran away from the scene.
everyone had been too busy. too busy looking at your retreating form to even notice jaemin and jeno exchanging glances, too busy to notice the latter untangling himself from their captain to slip away unnoticed, his hurried steps filled with a burning purpose.
you didn't know why you ran, but you did. your shoes practically booming against the floor as you sped away through darkened hallways. you're sweating profusely, heart hammering in your chest. you can worry about professor kim tomorrow but right now you just had to—
"why are you in such a rush, pet?"
crashing into jeno felt like crashing into a wall. if it hadn't been for his arm quickly wrapping around your waist, then you would've landed on your butt before him.
with the small distance between the two of you, jeno could see as clear as day through your eyes.
jaemin was right.
it was addicting to stare into them.
especially when he can see every single one of your thoughts flying through your pretty little head. but hey, it wasn't their fault you were so easy to read.
jeno barely conceals the wicked smirk on his lips when your hands come up to his chest, trying to push him away but to no avail.
he can see your eyes shifting from shock, to confusion, until it finally settles on fear—to which it's slowly becoming a favorite emotion of his to see on your face.
"you know, jaemin is in a really shitty mood right now. and we were wondering, maybe you can cheer us up?"
no. this can't be happening.
"jeno, please." your dilated eyes and disheveled hair made his blood run south. "let me go. you don't want me. you don't need a third party in your relationship."
you yelp when he lets you go, literally shoving you against a wall—which you found out is actually a door, as it swings open as soon as your body crashes against it.
with jeno looming unforgivingly before you in his full height, the tears stung extra hard but you won't let them fall.
if he wanted to bask in the image of your weakness then it'll be something you'll deprive from him for as long as you can.
"i don't need a stupid bitch like you to tell me what i feel." he scoffs. "don't fucking kid yourself, you little whore—i don't want you. i'm not jaemin."
the echo of the classroom door shutting closed surged through you like a wake up call.
this is really happening.
you've always led a decent life, had done nothing too questionable and you've always thought maybe life will spare you if you lived quietly enough. but the feel of jeno's freezing hands crawling against your skin felt like life itself had spat at you in the eye and left you to rot in a ditch.
"i've always liked how you wore skirts," he comments. playing with the ruffled hem of the soft fabric as he purposely grazed his knuckles against your supple thighs. "gives me easy access, don't you agree?"
you scream when he flips your skirt up to reveal the innocent pink of your cotton panties. it was as if a switch had flipped inside of you and the will to fight started coursing through your veins.
"stop! jeno! i don't want this!"
his brows furrow, grunting as he struggles to push the waistline of your skirt up higher with how much you're thrashing underneath him. you buck your hips, tried curling in on yourself, anything to prolong what he wants to do to you.
with your legs trapped underneath his, you blindly reach forward, relying on your upper body instead to push and scratch whatever your palms and nails reached.
you continue screaming like a banshee until he shoved two fingers into your wet cavern.
"stop fighting me," he sounded strained, as if he's holding himself back. you feel him fisting the fabric of your skirt and you fear he's simply going to rip it apart.
you tried responding to him, only the sound had been muffled, gurgled by the flat of his fingers pushing down against your tongue mercilessly. when you reach forward to push him away, your hands land on the apple of his cheeks, nails digging through skin.
until it slips and—
you lie rigid when red scratch marks in the size of your fingernails slowly appear on jeno's skin, his head turned to the side as he paused. your actions slowly start sinking in to him as he shuts his eyes and bit his lip 'till it looked like it was about to bleed.
oh no.
"jeno—"
the slap he planted on your cheek left your ears ringing. all those hard earned muscles of his put to good use—if the tears hadn't fallen for the last few minutes, then it definitely started falling now.
the hit had been so strong, a few of your hair flew astray, the buzzing feeling of your skin tempting you to reach a hand up to soothe your abused cheek.
until jeno let out a low growl and your hand immediately drops limp against your body, afraid of whatever else he can do to you other than a slap.
"that's more like it," he whispers under his breath. you let out the tiniest of whimpers when his hand darts forward to fist your hair. "do you know what happens to bad girls? they fucking get busted up. do you understand me?"
his patience is nonexistent.
jeno slams your head against the floor when you don't answer because you thought his question had been rhetorical. it felt like your skull had been split in two as you wail in pain.
"are you fucking deaf—i asked you a fucking question!"
the hand that cups your jaw is painful as he squeezed your cheek with his blunt nails. your hand shoots up to wrap around his wrist, silently pleading for him to let up as you sobbed out loud. you started nodding as best as you can despite his firm grip on your face.
your reply was nothing short of pathetic. with lips forcefully pursed and the steady stream of your tears and snot rolling down your face, your response is gargled and hardly incoherent and jeno seemed to thoroughly enjoy your anguish if the condescending curl on his lips is anything to go by.
"look at you," he whispers, his face coming close to yours as he holds you down. there was something in the way jeno stared so intently that it made your skin crawl.
"i think you're prettiest when ruined like this."
with his nose touching yours, he felt too close, bordering on intimate as you felt his hand creep back up your thighs, trailing up with feather-like touches that made goosebumps appear on your skin.
you tried wiggling your legs underneath him but one sharp look from jeno is enough to make you stop.
the hand holding your face moves. coming down from gripping your face to encircling his hand around your neck.
"do you like it when i touch you? freaky bitch."
his hands trail further up, up, up until you felt him slotting a finger underneath your panties.
jeno didn't like how frozen you were underneath him as he pulls at the hem before letting go. the elastic snapping back against your skin.
the action evokes a strong feeling through the young male, promising to have you writhing and screaming and begging because by the end of all this, you'll be so needy and frustrated that you will have no choice but to give in to what your body wanted.
"jeno, didn't i tell you to play nice?"
someone stands by the door, the minimal light from the hallway creating a silhouette with his form but you knew who he was. that deep voice, with the same annoying flippant tone, is a dead giveaway.
you didn't know why you even hoped in the beginning. as if there'll be someone who can save you from these two.
you thought the flash of hurt in your eyes was quick to disappear but jeno noticed it quicker.
in a span of seconds, he pulled you up from your position from the ground and tugged you towards his lap. you haven't even gotten the time to settle on your new position when he already smashed his lips against yours.
it was messy. too much saliva. too much teeth. no tenderness to it at all.
the fabric of his jeans felt rough, not to mention the ice cold belt buckle made you severely uncomfortable as it seeps through the thin fabric of your skirt.
when you attempt to hover over his lap, jeno grunts as he snakes an arm around your waist, pulling you back down without your lips breaking away from each other. you didn't know why he let out a whine, but you understood the moment you fully sat down on his lap and you felt a tent on his jeans hitting your clothed entrance perfectly.
in a normal circumstance, you would've found everything hot and might've actually gotten off from it but not when it's him who’s doing this to you and you didn’t consent to any of this.
you start squirming again. palms lying flat against jeno's chest as you attempt to push him away and jaemin sees this as the opportune moment to slot himself behind you, caging you in between them.
“i want my turn,” he hisses and without an ounce of hesitation, jeno stops to do what he's told.
jaemin doesn't waste any second to grab your face, awkwardly craning your neck up to meet his lips in the same feverish kiss.
while jeno had been all teeth and aggression, practically forcing you to open your mouth and kiss him back, jaemin on the other hand is more soft, more romantic, you daresay. he seemed to like taking his sweet time by clutching your face, kissing you like he actually meant it.
he pulls away slightly, resting his forehead against yours as he murmurs something incoherent under his breath and then he's kissing you again.
you think you heard something along the lines of, "finally."
you've been too distracted by jaemin to notice jeno's nimble fingers quickly fumbling with the buttons of your blouse. it was only when you feel the sensation of his tongue laving against the swell of your breast did you turn away from jaemin, jerking backward in surprise.
"no—!"
your scream is cut off by a hand cupping your mouth. jaemin pulls your back towards his chest, molding your body against his as jeno licked and suckled all he wanted, thankful to have the other boy there to not worry about restraining you and keeping you quiet while he has his fun.
"ah, ah, ah," jaemin teases, going hard over the pleading and teary look you sent his way. it looked pathetic, he wasn't going to lie, but it doesn't mean he didn't love it. "just keep still and appreciate jeno's efforts to take care of you, alright baby?"
you don't like how he talked as if this was all a mutual thing, how he talked slowly like you were some toddler who didn't understand anything.
it's cruel how jaemin giggled and basked in your vulnerable state as he kept his eyes pinned on you while undoing the zipper of your skirt. your muffled cries of his name only serving to egg him on.
the way he stared was similar to jeno, too intently and intrusive, like he wants to burn your image of despair in the back of his head.
you whined involuntarily when jeno got bored of all the licking and thus decided to start biting and nipping at your chest instead. he was hypnotised by how responsive you were, how every little bite and nibble made you shudder.
it was a shame that jaemin had to cover your mouth. he didn't get to hear your pretty mewls but it wasn't as if he'd let the night end without hearing them loud and clear.
jaemin is fast in undressing you, feeling slightly betrayed by how quick your skirt and blouse fell under his hands.
you know what he wants, what he's going to do, and the tears fall harder when you can't dodge away from him. forced to endure and accept whatever they give you.
"you act like you don't like it but look how fucking wet you are," you bit your lip hard when jaemin starts circling the pads of his fingers against your clit, fascinated by how more juices streamed down your thighs.
"jeno, do you see this? fuck."
you can only blink in defeat, staring off to the side as you force down any noise bubbling up your throat, forcing yourself to think of anything else other than what's happening right now.
you try not to think about how they managed to tear all of your clothes off while they're left completely dressed. tried not to think about the fingers lazily drawing up and down your slit to collect your essence.
if they're doing this as a way to further humiliate you, it's working.
"slut," jeno mocked, a wicked curl on his lips when he wraps his fingers around your throat. the moment he dives down to claim your lips again is the same time jaemin pushes two fingers inside you.
"look at how wet you are because of me," jaemin whispers hot against your ear and you feel a sick churn in your stomach when you feel his smile against your skin.
he purposely drives his fingers in and out quicker, settjng a brutal pace, wanting you to hear the lewd squelching sounds. "hear that? do you hear that, darling? that's because of me—"
"don't go talking big now, jaem," jeno retorts, pulling away from your lips to start nibbling on the back of your ear. "i was here first. did you see how she fucking reacted when i sucked on her tits?"
you're quick to catch how jeno particularly loved degrading you. but how he talks about you as if you're literally not in front of him naked made you hit a new all-time low.
you felt… filthy.
his hands find purchase on your butt—only because jaemin has already claimed the front. for now.
you close your eyes tight when he painfully squeezes the flesh of your ass. you swear, his blunt nails will paint your skin black and blue.
"i'm the favorite!"
"i'm the favorite!"
as someone who's part of a varsity team, you already knew a competitive nature runs through jaemin's veins. but never had you thought jeno would share the same sentiment. once again they prove that they're cut from the same cloth.
all of a sudden it wasn't all about claiming you as theirs anymore rather it was all about who can make you moan the loudest, who can make you cum the most, who can make you feel the dirtiest you can be.
you're absolutely terrified for the hours to come.
thankfully, they have yet to ask for your verbal opinion or validation. they let your body do all the talking—every repressed shudder and sharp gasp is enough.
but it's game over once they pop the million dollar question.
"who do you like best?"
you don't want to find out the consequences if you actually answered their question because you didn't know what could be worse.
jaemin's manipulation or jeno's aggression?
but it was all normal. trial and error is inevitable in order to build and mold you into the ideal lover for the both of them.
because adding someone new to the mix has never been easy—after all, three's a crowd.
#nct imagines#yandere nct#yandere kpop#nct smut#nct scenarios#yandere jaemin#yandere jeno#jaemin imagines#jeno imagines#jaemin scenarios#jeno scenarios#jaemin smut#jeno smut
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