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#i don't think living is something any human being should have to really struggle and fight for for any reason
suguru-getos · 7 months
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Yandere Sukuna Hcs:
Warnings: Oh this whole post is a warning in itself LOL, Sukuna and also yandere- lots of NSFW, nonc0n, g0re, belittling. Read at your own discretion. I REPEAT, read at your own discretion this post isn't for everyone I went overboard.
King of curses and absolutely devoid of any sympathy at all, all he has is obsession towards you, catering and harboring to his every need. Once Sukuna manifests in his true form, he is unstoppable. You were among the few humans he wanted to fuck around with and then eat them, however- he took a special liking to you. It's just because out of all of them, you looked the prettiest when you were scared out of your wits. He calls you his slut, toy, plaything, weakling, meat. It's simple really, you don't get to wear any clothes around, you want to see what happens to people who disobey him? Of course not- as humiliating as it is, someone like Sukuna does not care and would want you to answer his every beck and call with that naked body.
You are not allowed to have a life/a purpose except to be the King of Curses' little toy. There are days he wants you to kneel in front of him, struggling as he warms your mouth, and iterates his stories from thousands of years back. Sukuna likes to talk after all. Looking down at you with a smirk when you nastily drool from down there. You won't get to cum, no use thinking about it.
Any/everyone who wanted to search for you was killed in front of you, you had no family, so the Sorcerer friends who wanted to find you were killed. Sukuna hung their heads for you to see every time you walk towards the entrance of the door. Just in case his beloved/slightly liked toy wants to escape.
Over a period of time Sukuna stops eating humans in front of you, something which annoyed him to the brim that he wanted you to not be repulsed and scream cry when he devours them alive. He can be sympathetic but would never express it. Weakness as such aren't allowed.
Walking around always naked would get some rude/crass comments from him, he doesn't want you to go to a salon to get waxed of course, but he would call you filthy for not being clean down there, pinching your clit and scratching it with his nail while you squirm and mumble apologies.
Sukuna is huge, and is manhandly, the way his two hands spread you apart in thin air, like a cross and fuck you, inflating you when his seed fills you until you scream, leaking out and inflated. Sukuna doesn't like it going to waste so you better believe he will turn you upside down, hanging for hours just to check the possibility of you somehow being bred.
Sukuna can be kind enough to let you eat whatever you want, on cases where you starve yourself, he will threaten you to feed human meat. You can't possibly test him because he just might. He also has this sick, devotion that his breedable fleshlight should be healthy. No restrictions on the quality of food.
Consent? Lol, you should be grateful he's letting you live. Though over a period of time he loves it when you turn extra possessive over him fucking other women. When he needs to show you his place, he would fuck them in front of you and then kill them, asking you if you liked how they orgasmed over and over until they threw up?
Sukuna can and will use collars on you, loves calling you his pet and would make sure you behave like one. Tamed and cute. The tongue on his belly would fuck you senseless on days when he wants to see you pleasured, other one playing with your tits until you sob and cry, unable to take it anymore.
Spankings are his thing, however, he caused you some visceral damage once he did it and he still has problems with how fragile you are despite being a sorcerer, so his preys - get the order to spank his little slut. "If you do a good job, your death would be painless." Oh boy they do. Ever since then, Sukuna can't tolerate you without a bruised ass. He also learned the exact strength on which to deliver spankings so you 'always' leave a little hiss when you sit down. Loves that, and calls you "Marked up so you know your purpose."
Sukuna who can sometimes be groggy and scoff when you come waddling to him, screaming about the horror of the nightmares of his actions. Ironical, how you have no option but to run to him for comfort and would let you sleep with him. Condition is: You will have to repay his kindness. Sometimes he pretends he forgot it just to go easy on you, sometimes he uses it to his undue advantage.
Sukuna has been mean enough to have fingers of a severed hand tucked into your pussy because you clearly love to call him ruthless. The feeling of something dead pleasuring you while you cry and beg for mercy is all he needs.
Holy fuck I have so many more but I think I have brutalized him enough (He is brutal after all)
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riskyraiker · 2 months
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So I saw your requests were open and that you do both x men and tfp, leading to me wondering how would the team prime and the cons react to a mutant reader? And could readers mutant ability be like Johny Storm from Fantastic 4? (Keep up the good work 👍)
LOVE IT! ALSO YOU GET EXTRA POINTS FOR MIXING UP TFP AND X-MEN. I wrote this as platonic. Let me know if you want any romantic version
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How did you end up like this? No one knows, but they don't even know you're like this. Ecxept Miko, Raf and Jack, since you know that they're friends with huge fraggin robots. When you met the bots it wasn't the best situation, because you were enraged about the events that happened at home that day. Almost engulfed in flames you calm down when you spot Miko talk to a bit bulky bot behind an abandonded building. You saw the bots which resulted in you being brought to the base. You were amazed that you could forget the sorrow you have for being different. You grew close with the team really quick, even Ratchet took a liking to you. The moment the team sees your ability for the first time was when they were cornered by cons in a energon mine. Since there was no backup at the moment you ran out and light yourself up. At first the autobots thought you were an alien or something, but when they realize it's you they didn't believe it at first. The vehicons weren't so lucky since you almost melted some of their limbs. Once the fight was done they just stared at you. "Uhh..guys? Does anyone have some spare clothes?"
Optimus Prime
He would be confused. Like literally confused which is rare, but still you managed to achieve it.
You're human and fire should hurt you. How do you light yourself on fire?!
The moment you tell them that you're a mutant and your not the only one they start to do some research on these so called "mutants"
He would ask you what you can do and what your abilities are.
Doesn't like the idea of having you on the battlefield even if it means that the autobots have the upperhand
You're now his child. No objections.
The team needs help? You're there to melt them down and that earns you a big lecture from Optimus about how they can't risk human lives.
If he's wounded you would melt the metal gently and repair it.
Since he's made of metal some of his plating might be cold. So he absolutely loves how you work like an furnace.
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Ratchet
Almost freaked out by your abilities.
"Y/N IS ON FIRE BY THE ALL SPARK WHY IS NO ONE DOING ANYTHING"
The moment he gets to know about your so called mutation he turns into a fragging scientist. Blood samples, dna samples and etc.
Anytime there's any need for repairs he just picks you up and points where repair is needed.
"Fix it, you're smaller, steadier and you're hot"
He wouldn't realize his mistake until you laugh straight into his face "what's so funny? Wha- NO NOT LIKE THAT"
He would love your help in the medbay since you can mold wounds.
Your now his favorite assistant in medbay and in the lab
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Bumblebee
He thinks you're so awesome! A human who can light themselves on fire with no harm?!
He would ask you to fly or use any other abilities out or nowhere because he wants to see you as your true self
If you could understand him he would straight up just rant how cool you are. He also gave you a nickname which is Firefly
He loves giving you hugs since you're so warm.
He's in trouble? They're melted before he can even ask for backup
He's your big bro now and Raf your lil bro. You're the best sibling duo there is.
On cold nights he would just keep you on his shoulder so he could feel your warmth close to his face so he can relax
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Arcee
Oh she would be speechless. You can melt vehicons, fly somehow and just in general use your abilities
You're now her favorite human (BYE JACK)
She would love to watch you make fireshows
Your warmth would comfort her since she's lonely sometimes
She would call you as backup anytime the team is struggling
✨The sassy team✨
Oh you two would be unstoppable. Cybertronian femme whose sassy and a mutant who is also sassy.
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Bulkhead
Oh he would take you for a drive to ask you all kind of questions
First he thought the cons lit you on fire and panicked
After that he wants to see your abilities. That includes you having clothes on (of course🤨)
He would be so interested, but terrified about your ability to melt cybertronians
He's a wrecker! Of course your abilities will be useful.
He wouldn't like the idea of you in the battlefield, but still is amazed how well you handle it.
The big chunky guy is usually warm but won't mind some extra warmth from your body in the colder days.
He's bored? Be ready to fire up.
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Wheeljack
Oh oh oh! You'll never hear the end of it. He's around every corner begging you to light up.
He's more chaotic than bulkhead so of course he's after you all the time and asking you to set things on fire.
Wouldn't actually mind going on patrol with you since you're so awesome
He would secretly carry you around on missions to have you melt the cons. I bet he would stare sadisticly.
But don't worry he wouldn't risk your life! If you want to stay safe he won't bother you anymore. (Maybe)
Any old enemy of his he managed to meet on earth would most likely be melted by his request to bring you along.
Ultra Magnus
He would not be happy about you breaking protocol and not staying in the base.
But he would be grateful about you saving the team
"Aaww you're worried about me" No teasing! Now you're in for a 1 hour long lecture
He would find your mutation interesting, but would let it be since he's a robot himself
He's always cold. Mentally. And! Physically so he wouldn't admit it but does love your body warmth.
Smokescreen
"YOU'RE ON FIRE?! COOL!" Wouldn't understand that isn't normal until he's back in his senses. "YOU'RE ON FIRE! AHH PRIMUS WHY ARE YOU ON FIRE!?"
Would absolutely love your abilities even if you would be insecure about being 'different'
If you ever would kick decepticon aft he's your 1# fan in the background
He finds beauty in fire so he thinks you and your abilities are absolutely stunning
If he's scared about succeeding or about the future you would be there on his shoulder warm like an oven which calms him down
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The team were in trouble. Why? There was a surprise attack by Megatron himself. You flew through the groundbridge so you could help the team. You were almost too late as Megatron had his servo/sword up and about to strike Optimus. Hurrying you catch on to his servo and start to heat up, melting his servo in the process. "GAHH! WHAT ARE YOU!?" Megatrons sword and blaster were both out of the game since you melted most of his servo. Having the upperhand, the cons give up and leave. There was one con left. Megatron. "This isn't over, Optimus. Not with you and your firey PET!" Oh oh, he was pissed!
Megatron
That little mutant dare to melt his servo!
He didn't even know you're a human with a mutation until soundwave found footage and info about you.
Would try to get revenge on you, but doesn't want to risk losing his servo again.
For once the warlord was worried about his opponent.
If you could melt his servo, could you melt your way through his whole frame?
He didn't show it, but the thought actually made him shudder.
He couldn't lose to a pathetic human who is 10 times smaller than him.
In short, he hates your guts but loves your abilities.
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Soundwave
The moment Megatron asked to find information about you, a switch flipped in his processor.
Finally he found a human interesting. A extraordinary human to be specific
If he had time he would try to see you on cameras so he could catch you for Megatron
He wasn't scared or anything, but would be slightly worried could you melt his screen off?
He did almost catch you, but you lit up inside him so he had to drop you out before he would fall down from the sky.
Knew that you're stronger than anybot thinks. Wouldn't mess with you unless he has something to overpower you for example: some relics
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Knockout
If he ever I MEAN EVER sees you in action he would definitely run away and protect his paintjob.
Fire + his beautiful plating/paint job did NOT go together.
If you would try to attack him, you won't see him after a while. He's AFRAID of you.
Would always seem busy when he heard lord Megatron talk about a mission where you could be involved.
"Knockout!" The cherry red medic saluted. "You have a mission to go an retrieve a relic. Y/N could be there, so be quick." "My Liege I'm in the middle of a medical check up I don't have t-time. Send breakdown. He's willing to do it."
If you're on the nemesis he would run away like from the bot zombies in season 3 of tfp xD
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Shockwave
You're mutation was...illogical
A human shouldn't be able to light themselves on fire
Would ask permission from Megatron to take you as a test subject.
Be careful not to be caught by him! It would be worse than having others afraid of you and your freaky abilities.
He wanted to see how you could work with your abilities. How could he make them..Logical
Wouldn't be afraid of you. Oh no no no. He would be so so so interested about your abilities he wouldn't care if he would get melted at the same time.
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Predaking
He would love your abilities to be on flames, but! Since he's a decepticon and a predacon ofcourse he has to attack you.
Would speak to you someway or another in his bipedal mode during a mission
If he need fire styled company, he would try to contact you. He doesn't care if you're part of the autobots. You're his friend
Frag Megatron and Shockwave. You're warm like him! You're now his grandchild!
You would joke around that he's your actual king! Since you both are fire themed basically.
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drdemonprince · 11 months
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I think I remember you saying you were writing something for autistic adults having trouble meeting people? Actually I just remember the ask you got about someone who found a lot of social spaces being for youths. I have a similar problem. I've lived in the same city my whole life, but I don't have friends here because I don't know how to keep in touch with people after the situation we had in common (school, job) ended. And currently I'm unemployed, so I don't have coworkers, and I'm suffering a lot from the lack of a social context. There are some kind-of-niche social events I can go to, trans brunch once a month, queer board game nights every friday (and I don't even like board games). But even once I'm there I struggle to reach out and talk to anyone. For the former event, most people go with friends, so I assume I'm imposing if I make more than very brief small talk. For the latter one, we do often end up a group of polite strangers sitting around talking about random stuff, but I find I don't care about the interaction and I just want to go home. I have friends online that I'd rather spend time with, but it also feels so miserable when I don't have anyone to just grab coffee with. I tried tinder briefly, but I can't stand chatting with strangers, I react to it like an obligation and just ghost them. I'm not curious enough about strangers. I don't want to make friends, I want to already have them. It's rough.
The good thing here is you have 100% already articulated what the root of the problem here is: you're not taking an interest in any of the people you're spending time with, and the people you are meeting are not interesting to you.
People like us when they can feel that we like them, care about them, and find them interesting. People want to spend more time with people who make them feel heard, and who have genuine enthusiasm for their existence. The people you're meeting are almost certainly picking up on your lack of curiosity about them, and your sense that spending time with them is some grueling obligation, and so nothing deeper is taking root.
The solution is to have a genuine interest and curiosity for people. If you can't access that, you won't be able to make new friends. Having close friends that you can meet with for coffee at the drop of the hat isn't a status you can simply arrive at, it's a relationship dynamic that you build, painstakingly, interaction by interaction, invite by invite, one open-hearted, presence conversation after another. And you won't now who will become a lifelong, cherished friend to you if you don't start by trying to find what's worthy of cherishing within other people first.
Now, you mentioned that some of the social groups you take part in aren't even all that interesting to you -- and that's certainly part of the issue. If you don't like board games, you're not going to have fun at board game night, you're not going to like talking about board games, and you're going to feel a palpable disconnect between yourself and all the people who are present because they really like board games. You can either try to find something about the activity interesting, and really put your mind to learning about it and taking an active interest in it, for the sake of your own enrichment, or you should stop going, because there's no reason to drag yourself to regular obligation you don't like and aren't putting any investment in.
I would recommend that you find other social gatherings in town that line up more with your interests. Meetups, book clubs, volunteer shifts, video gaming leagues, sports teams, community theater, whatever it might be. This article has more advice about how to find new social groups and to make friends there:
But I'd also encourage you to practice being curious about the great diversity of humanity. There are so many wonderful subcultures out there to learn more about, so many creative and industrious practices to be awed by and to learn about, and so many funny, bizarre people out there worth making a study of. Even if you don't get along with the vast majority of humans or don't want most of them within your close social circle, you should, I think, be able to find something worth learning about in within nearly every human community, and within every person.
I firmly believe that the purpose of life is to grow, experience new things, and learn -- and if you're seeking new friends, you do want your world to be a bit larger than it is, right? So why not try to enjoy learning more about the broader social world? That doesn't mean committing to a regular hobby that bores you to tears (I hate tabletop games, for instance), but it does mean dipping your toe into new waters with some genuine receptiveness to it (I tried tabletop games for the hell of it, learned I didn't playing them, but now I do love hearing about my friends' campaigns).
I wasn't a furry when I first started going to Furfest; I just thought it was interesting and I was awe-struck by the dedication and creativity of people practicing the craft of making fursuits and drawing anthro art. The passion of that community was addictive, and the joy and friendliness of the space opened me up, and within a matter of two convention visits, Midwest Furfest had become one of the absolute social highlights of my entire annual calendar.
I've also gone to a lot of anime conventions, and they didn't grab me quite the same way, but I still sat in on some panels where I learned new things, and I still met people who were lovely and got to take in a bunch of beautiful cosplays. I've tried out all kinds of things, from betting on horse races to performing in sketch comedy troupes to attending naked yoga, and I didn't love or feel good about all of it -- but every single one of those things was worth trying out, because it helped me make contact with a broader spread of the human experience and learn a bit more about myself and other people. it broadened my knowledge base and expanded my social skills -- even if yes, i did absolutely sit in on some conversations that bored me to absolute tears.
If you don't have the energy to be curious about new things and new people at this stage of your life, anon, that is completely fine. When I was in the throes of deep masking and Autistic burnout I didn't always have it in me to make polite small talk or to endure overstimulating new situations. It's difficult to be open when one is traumatized or overwhelmed, and so if you find you really cannot feel anything for any people that you meet right now, working on soothing that internal vigilance and treating that trauma might be the first step. Even trauma recovery requires making contact with other traumatized people, listening to their stories, and being able to recognize yourself within them to some extent, tho.
There are periods of life that are for growth and there are periods that are for dormancy. If you don't have it in you to make new friends right now, that's fine. However, if you do want to have new friends in your life, you do have to be able to like people and care about them.
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fairuzfan · 3 months
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It's the zionist concern anon again. I will say for now that with what you said about prioritizing Palestinians I do agree. The people going through a genocide are a bigger priority than people who are not going through a genocide. I just fear that due to the fact I am neither Palestinian or Jewish that I may end up embracing stances that I do not actually understand and that innocent people may suffer because of it. I do not want to be irresponsible. I am also someone who lives in a country built on stolen land, so that does to some sort of extent influence my feelings on Isreal as I imagine many people in Isreal share my thoughts on the fact we have lived our entire lives on stolen land. As I said before, I also do not know any Palestinians personally so I find it hard to know who I can ask about the history, Hamas, technical details of politics, etc without risking being taught the wrong things. On a much more selfish note, I also struggle with debilitating mental health issues that make it very difficult to navigate moral issues especially if the moral issues do not impact me on a personal level. So if I am being honest, my questions are not entirely selfless as I have very self-centered fears on if I am actually a horrible person. I thank you again for being so understanding, but I figure the right thing to do here is admit I am likely not as pure intentioned in my questions as I should be when a large factor to why I worked up the courage to ask is in hope I am worrying too much about my quality of moral character from a selfish perspective. Again, I thank you for being so understanding and willing to answer these asks instead of just brushing me off as a horrible zionist.
I don't think you're a horrible person at all I just think everyone has underlying zionist biases because it's a product of the society we live in.
And I do understand where you're coming from, honestly. Something that always helps me is remembering something that my parents taught me as a kid: always stand on the side of the oppressed. Now as I grew up I realized you have to define what oppression means and I think exploring that will also help you get a better understanding of how to combat other forms of racism/antisemitism/transphobia/etc.
If you do want to learn about hamas tho, I would suggest taking a look at Tareq Baconi, he has a lot of writings about the history of Hamas and he's Palestinian. There are also Palestinian podcasts and social media accounts. I understand that not knowing a palestinian personally to help you guide yourself through these things is daunting, but there are plenty of resources to help! It's why I'm here on this blog honestly, I don't mind you reaching out to me for questions or anything.
A good principle to remind ourselves with is "how can I ensure that justice can be had?" And to find the answer to that you need to look into multiple types of antizionist thought. Some blogs I like to check out for a diverse antizionist opinion are @el-shab-hussein and @bringmemyrocks as a couple of examples. Plus I'd look to Black American thinkers on antiracism (like Angela Davis and James Baldwin and Kwame Ture) because they do a good job of showing you how to examine your internal biases which we are all subject to.
I don't think this selfish to want to be a good person. I have the same worries. I actually do get worried that sometimes I'm *actually* a bad person secretly without me realizing and I reach out to friends and family to talk it out. Something that helps me through this is realizing that you have to forgive yourself for previous beliefs you've had and promise yourself to do better because at the end of the day youre human and you make mistakes.
But really my biggest advice is to read and listen to a variety of schools of thought and if you can, interact with local communities dedicated to antiracism. Even if theyre digital communities! That will help a lot with identifying any problem points.
Again, feel free to reach out with any questions. I don't think you're a zionist at all! Please don't worry and thanks for reaching out :)
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overandundertarot · 1 year
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PAC; How can you heal your financial trauma?
Pick a pile (1-5)
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*Sorry for any grammatical/spelling errors.
PILE ONE
Cards; 9 of wands reversed, The Devil. Pile one you are worn out. You're tired and exhausted and have been working on something for a while but it's draining you. The situation was not even clear, you were just keeping at it because you didn't know what else to do. "I've always done it this way so I should continue, people have always done it this way so it should work for me too." You've been turned this way and that way and you're mentally exhausted too. This is your trauma. The society you grew up in and the people in your family. There's the energy of always having to work hard to earn money. Struggling for money. You can't allow yourself to rest, and when you break down from the pressure and burden of it all you berate yourself for that too. Advice for you is to give into temptation, allow yourself to be seduced by your inner desires; get to know them, get to understand them and get to know what it feels like to loose yourself to the sensations and not think about anything else at all. If it feels not only exciting and new, but dangerous and downright scary because it's something you've never done before, It's the right thing to break you out of this shell. You need to get to know yourself and who you are instead of the worker bee you've been made to live as. Also something sexual related is coming through, work on your dark feminine, seductive energy. If you are interested in human design you may be a generator or manifesting generator. Inner change and alchemisation. Find out what you like by trial and error; obviously don't do anything too rash/dangerous that you would never be able to recover from. This trauma may also be affecting your relationships(you may have relationship issues) There's such a strong and intense energy(I feel like I cant even breathe) in this pile, I think if you find a away to channel your energy into whatever it is you really want to do, you could be unstopable. Symbolism : Webs; spiderwebs, preying mantis, carnivourous plants, birds, aries, mars, pentagram, occultism, galaxy.
PILE TWO
Cards; The Devil, Knight of Swords. Pile two you often get lost in your head. You find yourself indulging in fantasies and creating this safety net of illusion and comfort meanwhile you're not taking any action. I feel like you may accumulate and hoard business ideas that you see on tiktok/youtube/social media or tell yourself that you can do this and that but never take any tangible action. Gambling addictions and small expenditures that add up, you're not being honest with yourself about your financial situation and money is controlling you so much more that you would think. That's your truama, that money is such a big influence in your world and you don't even know it. You're being hypnotised and controlled by money, its sneakily around the corner influencing your decisions and you don't even know it. Worst of all is that its causing you so much anxiety and you've learnt to just live with it. I'm sorry if I'm being too harsh, but the words have to come out. It's not completely your fault, it only becomes your fault if you're aware of the pattern and choose to ignore it. I'm not getting too much about the source of this trauma but it seems it doesn't even have one exact source. It's more a product of living in the world we are in right now, maybe social media. Do some research about consumerism. Minimalism might also be beneficial for you. Try to discern if you trully want something or you've just been influenced. The way to heal this trauma is to cut through the haze with clarity. It's time to make plans, write down your goals and cut through the illusions to the core of yourself and what really matters to you. It's a time to be logical .There are actions that you have to take that you've been putting off. There's a deep fear inside you of not living up to your dreams/expectations. Take it slowly and start wih small steps. It's like wading through murky muddy water and then suddenly breaking through the water into crisp and cool air. Try to do a cleanse of the uneccessary things that you have let accumulate in your mind or even just clean your home. If you have a goal that feels too big and scary break it down into small steps. You can do so much more than you think you can, and make a bigger impact in your own life than you would ever believe. But you have to start somehwere. Symbolism; clear waters, rivers, lakes, sunflowers, light blue.
PILE THREE
Cards; 10 of cups reversed, 6 of wands. Pile three you have a dream. Something that you've always secretely desired but it just never felt like you could get it. It could be a happy family of your own, innocence in life etc. It feels like you've been the mature one from a young age, someone who had to grow up too fast. You may be an orphan/ lost a parent at a young age or you could have simply had a desire for a family from a young age. A desire for strong emotional connections with people. Your trauma with money is not so much connected with money but other people/ the world in general. You understand that money is a tool that can be used to put you in the right situations to get what you want. You view money as a safety net and may get panicky/ stressed/ emotional when you think you are running out out of it. You may be a man and believe that you cannot find love if you are not financially stable.(specific message). To heal this you have to believe that you can get what you desire even without money. You are someone who is charismatic, energetic, level headed and you have leadership qualities overall. You have to be optimistic in your outlook. You need to shift your perspective to heal your financial trauma. You have to believe that no matter what your financial status, you are deserving of love and affection. Of true connection and whatever it is you may desire. You could have imposter syndrome and over criticise yourself. You need to look in the mirror and have appreciation for who you are , what you have, and what you've made of yourself till now. Symbolism; moustaches(?) , fast paced cities, mountains, cancer(the sign), scorpio, capricorn, clover.
PILE FOUR
Cards; 6 of wands, The Fool reversed. Pile four you may be too arrogant when it comes to money. You may love to overspend and show off to your friends because this pumps up your ego. You feel you deserve nice things and may actually have the background to support your spending habits but this attitude won't help you forever and this is kind of your trauma. How other people perceive you based on your money. You are scared of being taken advantage of based on your money or people misunderstanding you and assuming things about you. You're always aware, always on the lookout. Despite being emotionally secure, other people's opinions and actions still impact your emotions greatly. To be honest, you need to be careful and start managing your finances and planning for your future. It may not always be so assured and abundant for you. To heal this trauma you need to put measures in place. Cultivate a feeling of safety as well as educate yourself in terms of financial matters so you are prepared incase of any windfall. You should also get to know yourself so that you may regulate and curb on your reckless spending habits and also avoid situations that money may not be able to get you out of. You may also be craving true and sincere friendship, and this will come to you as you work on yourself more and go down a path of self development. It may be beneficial to you to get a mentor/someone you can learn from. Symbolism; Gold, glasses, braces, spiders, knifes, eyes, peacocks, green.
PILE FIVE
Cards; Death reversed, 7 of Cups. Pile five you have a tendency to hoard money. Money has become a self fulfilling need for you and it's difficult for you to spend money or exchange it because it only registers as a depletion. As a loss. This is how your trauma shows up for you. It may go so far as you not even spending money on yourself because you feel it's unecessary. For example on something like a parfume or deodorant, or a type of food. Only eating the cheapest foods, wearing your clothes until they're falling apart because you just can't bear the thought of spending money on new ones. What you dont realise is that you are putting money above yourself. Money is more important than you so you would rather deny yourself for the sake of money. To preserve and uphold it. This is an issue with self worth and can permeate more areas of your life than you may think. Are you the type to brush away your problems? "It's not that bad so I can live with it." What you dont realise is that you are making life harder for you, accumulating stress and hardships that are completely unecessary. To heal this trauma you have to acknowledge that you have needs. Your quality of life can improve so much by making small changes; buying clothes that make you feel confident, eating food that delights your senses, using products that make you feel beautiful, fixing something around your house that could make your life so much easier. You dont always have to do things that hard way or deny yourself pleasure just to save some money. Allow yourself to have wants, to express your needs and use money as a tool to enrich your life. Symbolism; Glass bottles, slippers, sunsets, fish.
That's it! Thanks for participating in this pick a card reading. If anything resonated, please dont hesitate to give feedabck it's always so lovely to hear and motivates me quite a lot to continue posting. :)
*The pictures are not mine, I found them on pinterest.
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relatableblorbopoll · 5 months
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Round 1 of preliminaries, group 6
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The first two places get a place on the bracket
Little reminder: there will be 2 more rounds of preliminaries, the losing blorbos of this poll still have 2 chances of getting in the official bracket
propaganda under the cut
Jesper Fahey (Six of Crows)
No Propaganda
Crowley (Good Omens)
"He's gender. He's been in love with one guy for literally 6000 years and then royally fucks up his entire confession. He yells at his plants. He drapes himself over every fucking surface he sits on. He walks like *that*. He just fuckin makes sounds sometimes. He's me fr."
Dave Strider (Homestuck)
"everything that can be said about Dave's relatability will probably sound redundant, clichéd, or overdone if you are at all familiar with tumblrs sort of blorbo culture. this is exactly why he should be in this tournament.
stop me if you think that you've heard this one before: he hides his genuine emotions behind a persona, deflects sincerity with jokes, but also has a deep desire for validation and connection, so that his persona has many cracks where little bits of his true self slip through. deeply insecure, compares himself to others. a defeatist streak, avoids responsibility. does not wish to be troubled by The Horrors. he just wants to hang out and do his lil creative hobbies (making music and drawing comics). talks a lot to the point of being pretty awkward, rambling, and accidentally saying stuff he shouldnt.
all these things I think tend to resonate deeply with a lot of people, especially on Tumblr - that "person who is insecure and struggles with emotional openness so copes by making jokes" sort of trope, it's just like kin bait (affectionate). he also has a complicated relationship with gender which I know many find relatable (shout out to the "Dave homestuck was my trans awakening" homies) but whether it's about figuring out gender or sexuality or trauma or the apocalypse or anything else, Dave comes at it with an initial, learned, fear and reluctance that I think a lot of people have experienced, because it's very human and very much a part of many readers experiences (we live in a society). but he's always good, and likeable and that makes for a very important sort of relatable character. very comforting. even if he's a mess and he's an idiot you can believe he can get to something better, and you can watch him develop and grow.
also, I think he's extremely relatable because he never really knows what's going on in the comic either. I mean, that's gonna be relatable to most people Vis a vis homestuck. he's confused and he just wants to vibe and make his friends laugh. WHO AMONG US cannot relate?? I do not believe you if you say no.
I wrote too much and got way too weird about it. I'm sorry it's late I'd edit down but I really don't have the brain capacity.. which is very Dave core of me actually"
Junior (Total Drama Presents: The Ridonculous Race)
"i relate to him a lot because his whole character is being embarrassed of his dad who tries too hard to be cool, but still loves him anyways. that is literally me"
Kim Dokja (Omnicient Reader's Viewpoint)
"kim dokja. oh kim dokja. so, without going into spoilers too much, kim dokja is very much a character you are expected to relate to and it makes the novel DEVASTATING. here's just a few things about him: - he is obsessed with a particular piece of media, and finds comfort in it when real life doesn't give him any. he's constantly thinking about it and defending it and trying to recommend it to other people (even though no one else bothers reading it, because it is an objectively bad 3000-chapter webnovel). even beyond that one novel, he's been using fiction as an escape for just about his entire life, something that rings true for a lot of people, especially in the modern world. - he struggles with socializing with other people. the first chapter alone gave me so much second hand embarrassment. it's so real but god it's So bad. he has zero friends and has that sort of loneliness where you're miserable but you can't really bring yourself to feel anything but resigned to it. in general he is just very Resigned to his unfortunate life and can't fully understand or accept it when it finally does get better - he has a complicated relationship with his mother. it's the kind of relationship where the parent genuinely does love their child, but they fail to give them what they need & have to accept that they hurt their kid and that they cannot be the most important person in their life. it's certainly not a universal experience but those sorts of parent-child relationships are woefully common but scarcely acknowledged -the insecurity. god there is so much insecurity in that man. it's hard to even completely tell it's there at first, because it's so ingrained in how he thinks that you don't question it until you know more about his character and suddenly it's all too apparent. he cannot believe that he can be loved (or, if that he can be, that they certainly would not be able to love all of him, only what he chooses to show them), and is selfless but like. the literal meaning of the word, where he will throw away all of his being for the people he loves. in general there is a lot of sacrifice as a love language which like. while i'm not off around throwing myself in front of magic death beams for people or anything i sure would give up everything i could if it meant helping the people i love - ok enough of that. here's some funny things i can relate to. the guy meets his favorite fictional blorbo and instead of worshipping him instead he bullies him constantly and internally complains about how unbearable he is both in the book and in real life. it's like a "i love my blorbo. i would not last 2 seconds in a room with him." You know. he gets so caught up in his fanon characterizations and biases about characters that he completely mischaracterizes them like constantly. he literally kills a guy half because he was his least favorite character. -this is a poll about blorbo relatability. therefore i must mention that kim dokja too related to his blorbo (or at least attempted to) and what is more relatable than that. anyways. kdj made me realize far too much about myself and is by far the most i have ever related to a character (and i Hate it). and tumblr would definitely relate to him too so :thumbs-up:"
"(SPOILERS) He is literally all of us. Reader. Just some guy. And then insane tragic backstory. But he’s also just some guy. He’s special and also just a guy. He’s also god. He can be shipped w anyone. He has versatility and interests and motivations. He also never tells anyone anything ever. He is so me."
"He reads a trashy, long-ass novel as a coping mechanism and doesn't think he's capable of being loved. Bro dissociates when he's emoting too much."
"I'm a homestuck fan, a Dave Strider fan even Never heard of Omnicient Reader's before Voted for the kim fellow because judging by the propaganda it looks like he himself would be a homestuck reader therefore making him more relatable than the homsetuck character himself"
"This guy’s been my companion since I was 11, I’ve grown up with Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint and I think that’s pretty funny since he grew up with Ways of Survival (the 3149 chapter novel) and therefore I’m straight up mirroring him. I, too, scare everyone off by being too enthusiastic whenever the webnovel is brought up! His insecurities are severe but I do see myself in some parts of him (which is worrying but whatever.) He is absolutely The Guy Ever. Utterly pathetic wet cat of a man. I love him. He represents the crazy fandom tumblrina in all of us."
Donutella (Tokidoki)
"she's made of donuts basically like me at this point"
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thenightfolknetwork · 1 month
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I am an antichrist.
The Real thing, born to a seventh virgin daughter after her soul was consumed by my father, Satan, in a ritual of fire, glory and light.
I was raised as instructed by The Book— Don't ask which Book, you don't want to know, the knowledge would melt your eardrums— to be the destroyer of the world, the prince of sins and the devourer of souls. I am the One Who Will Bring Fire to the earth, I am the One who will run the blood of innocents through the streets and boil the sea with my mere desire, I am the dark side of the moon, I am humanity's nightmare, I am—
I am 12 years old.
And I'm at school.
I just learned about ecosystems: The delicate balance of a food chain, the harmony that exists in the earth when a network of fungi extracts nitrogen from the earth and a rotting tree leaves the soil rich for next spring.
I found out about corals recently too. They are alive and an extremely complex life form for something that will never move, corals don't die as long as nothing kills them, isn't that a strange and wonderful concept?
I always wanted to be the World Destroyer.
It never occurred to me that bringing hell to earth would mean no deer or bees or coyotes.
If you increase the average sea temperature by more than two degrees, millions of corals will die. I don't know if I want to boil the sea if that's the end result.
But I am the Antichrist and I like being the Antichrist. I like to be Apotheosis, the crack in the glass, the rotten apple, the mercury in the water.
But I also like the world as it is, even if it doesn't bow down to me in fear.
What do I do?
(What do I say to my father?)
This is the problem with prophecies – they always put the subject under such a tremendous amount of pressure! I feel sure that, if your father had simply not mentioned his plans for your future, you would have grown up without these anxieties and likely gone on to fulfil your unholy purpose without a second thought, in a time frame that felt sensible and natural to you.
Instead, you've been burdened with a terrible and unreasonable amount of responsibility. No wonder you're feeling torn! This is more than any twelve year old should have to consider.
The important thing to remember is that you don't have to make a decision about this right away. You are the Antichrist and you will remain the Antichrist while you take a little while to decide the best course of action for you. The end of the world will still be there when you're ready for it.
As to the apocalypse itself, this is the other reason prophecies can be so frustrating. They are simply never specific enough to be helpful. Yes, you may be destined to end the world – but which world, exactly? And how much of that 'blood of innocents, boiling seas' stuff is literal, and how much is just a religious scribe getting carried away with himself?
In my experience, there are many, many ways a person might fulfil a prophecy without having to bring a fiery demise to this particular realm of existence. You might take a short hop over to another reality and destroy an uninhabited world, for example.
Alternatively, you might take your prophecy in a more metaphorical sense. “The world” we live in today is one that allows billionaires and business magnates destroy our environment in the name of profit. Perhaps you could fulfil your great purpose by destroying the social and political structures that make that world possible.
I understand your trepidation about bringing this up with your father. However, I really do think that you should consider it. Looking after you is his job, after all, and I'm sure he wouldn't want you struggling with these feelings alone. Reach out to him, and let him know how you feel.
You don’t have to decide this all at once. Whatever else you say to your father, you need to make it clear that you will not be embarking on any sort of apotheosis until you've at least finished your GCSEs. You are a child, and you deserve to have a proper childhood, whatever the future might hold for you.
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gorbalsvampire · 6 months
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on Golconda, Roads and Paths
Here's the thing about Golconda.
In the Dark Ages, it was understood that there was a Beast, and that many Roads led away from the Beast, and that at the end of every Road there was a state of being in which one was a paragon of one's virtues, as far from the Beast as any Cainite could ever be, and that state was called Golconda. A Paragon of the Road of Sin would look like a shame, a caution and a horror to a follower of the Road of Heaven or Kings, but their Beast would be mastered nonetheless.
Much that was once known was lost, in the War of Princes and the Inquisition and the Revolt and the rise of the Sabbat.
A Path is not a Road, built and tended with the authority of mind over soul. A Path is simply a route trodden by many, through a wilderness poorly understood by all.
The Sabbat is permanently struggling, and its Enlightenment begins with a breaking of the self and a submission to the Beast. Its Paths are framed by an eternal war that defines everything the sect thinks and does, against everything it can reach, against enemies vast and abstract. It is not interested in Golconda any more than it is capable of winning.
The Camarilla? They have maintained but one Road – Humanity – to the detriment of all the others. Theirs is the struggle between Beast and Man, and when a Kindred wishes to be neither, they fold their arms and say "nevertheless: choose, or be damned." The Camarilla does not believe in many things that happen to be true; it believes in you believing what you're told, and if you don't, well, you must be lost to the Beast already, mustn't you?
In the modern nights, Golconda is an accident. The Roads, well kept and maintained, are lost, and all that remains is to blunder along the Path and hope.
This is a very long winded way of saying "check out Dark Ages if you want to see what an authoritarian (Kings) or indulgent (Sin) or harmonious (Beasts) or pious (Heaven) relationship with the Beast looks like, all of those are forms of Golconda, same mechanical effects but very different behaviours to maintain them."
During the War of Princes, i.e. before the formation of the Camarilla, you have five major Roads and at least as many minor ones. None of them are presented as necessarily more important, more widely followed, or more "true" than the others. And, crucially, in the Revised era - that's Dark Ages Vampire, not Vampire: the Dark Ages - all of those Roads have an Aura attached. At a high Road rating, that is to say really living up to their personal ideals, a character radiates a palpable sense of something - authority, temptation, compassion - suggesting that they are approaching a different order of being.
After the formation of the Camarilla, on the other hand, you have Humanity presented as the default state of being for vampires. Their central moral struggle is to preserve their Humanity from the ravages of the Beast - there are very clear consequences for letting your Humanity drop, but the Aura corresponding to the Dark Ages' Via Humanitas is no longer present. Something has changed. Something about the way vampires work is not as it used to be.
Dark Ages was always a backformation - a prequel created after the core operations and tenets of Vampire were established. And those core operations and tenets have always included a sense of Humanity as "The Downward Spiral," of vampires as risking "degeneration" should they engage in behaviours presented by a "Hierarchy of Sins." The journey toward the Beast has always been more explicitly mapped out than any journey away from it. Spend XP to restore Humanity. You may reach Golconda, I guess.
This is fine, it's a solid bit of Gothic theming, core to the game, love it. Except... it doesn't gel with the Paths of Enlightenment, many of which are transhumanist in nature, and which - again, in Revised, this is where I came in - are built from a start of actively running down your Humanity and then adopting your Path and then needing to build your Path rating back up again, i.e. climbing a moral ladder away from the Beast. This doesn't really work when the Paths' morality is written, like Humanity, as a series of failure points - Sins by which you degenerate and risk the Beast. The Paths, as written, are a kind of square peg/round hole situation where you have to turn prohibitions into opportunities to progress. And there isn't as clear a mechanical reward or incentive for maintaining a high Path rating as there is for a high Road rating. No Auras here either.
So, what I arrived at, once I'd run my first successful Dark Ages Vampire game and had this distinction really brought to my attention, was a sense that vampire morality had changed between one side of the transformative events in the early modern period. And that's when I started thinking about what it meant that your characters in Dark Ages and Victorian Age occupied the same band of generations, and thought about how the Camarilla can get away with claiming there are no such things as Antediluvians when some of its founding figures have a personal memory of Antediluvians being actively involved in the War of Princes.
That's when I started taking the Inquisition seriously, as an effectively genocidal event that wiped out almost all playable vampire characters. Higher than sixth generation? Yeah, you probably didn't make it through the War and the Revolt and the Inquisition, and repopulation took a while, Tradition of Progeny and all that. The surviving elders are the ones who deliberately fabricated new social orders for vampirism - the aggressive, militant transhumanism of the Sabbat and the centralised "we hide amongst humans and Humanity is the best way to do that" principles of the Camarilla.
And that's how I arrive at my model of vampire morality.
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yandere-fics · 3 months
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♡ How She Acts When She First Brings You Home ♡
(sorry I struggled to end it, I hope you still like it, this is also funny because I do not eat lo mein anymore, I don't eat any noodles or bread.)
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You'd nearly crapped your pants yesterday when The Boss spotted you at the office and told you that you were her mate and you would be moving in with her the following day. She wasn't there the next morning when the security team helped you move your stuff into her penthouse but there were little sticky notes everywhere explaining things, perhaps she thought you'd have an easier time adapting to your new home without your new mate lurking over your shoulder but either way you did appreciate having time for yourself before you were thrust into being her mate.
That peace did have to come to an end though because sometime around 4 PM she knocked on the door lightly calling out, "My Beloved, I'm going to come inside now, okay?" Someone might think you were her new cat with how she was treating you, stepping lightly and talking quietly to not spook you.
"H-hello Ma'am?" You stood up from the couch still surrounded by boxes because you really weren't sure where you were allowed to put your belongings. As she walked closer you realized she was so much fucking taller than you, at the very least 6'4 but her shoulders were broad which also gave her the appearance of being a behemoth, yeah she was gonna tear you apart at some point.
"It's Sawyer, Beloved. Why haven't you unpacked yet?" She tilted her head at you, she had only got you yesterday so she hadn't had time to install cameras in the pent house yet, if she had then she would have called you and asked you why you hadn't unpacked much sooner in the day. She'd need to remedy the camera problem quickly.
"I-I don't know where I'm allowed to put my stuff." You tried not to look up at her, her eyes felt like they were constantly sizing you up though that was actually just her appreciating finally having her mate in front of her.
"Anywhere you'd like, or if you prefer I can help you tomorrow?" You nodded, sure spending time with her was hard but it was your life from now on and hopefully if she helped then it would minimize the risk of you moving things too much and having her get angry at you. "First we should have dinner though, you must be hungry I'm sure."
"Yes m-ma'am, uhm S-sawyer, I'm hungry..." She hummed in approval when you said her name and went to go order dinner for the both of you.
"I ordered Lo Mein for us, Beloved, I heard this place was popular amongst the humans nowadays but I'm willing to order something else if you wish." She didn't want to let you know the place was extremely expensive and usually took a reservation to get, you likely wouldn't be comfortable with that at this stage of the relationship. "Would you care to take a bath while we wait? It may help you de-stress, I have lots of oils. Oh! Also I have bathrobes prepared so you need not worry about that part yet, My Beloved."
Okay so she was a lot more nicer than you had expected but this was likely the part where she jumped you like a wild animal and your suspicions would be confirmed right? Wrong! Because here you were ten minutes late as she rubbed scents into your hair complimenting how beautiful it was and how she appreciated you allowing her to care for it.
"Uhm Ma- Sawyer aren't you going to do something with m-me?" You had to bite the bullet if you wanted to get this over with quick, you didn't want to live in fear of when it was coming, afterall weren't supernaturals supposed to be instantly attracted to their mates, you'd heard people usually mated same day as they met and Sawyer was the boss so shouldn't her desires be increased?
"Do you want me to do something with you?" Sawyer already knew the answer was no just by your smell alone but she did hope that you would when she had gotten home, still even if she wanted you she was more than willing to wait for it.
"N-no, it's just-" "It's just you thought I'd jump your bones the moment I had you in my penthouse?" She cut you off frowning only for a moment when you nodded in response before returning to a straight face and continuing to take care of your hair. "Here come on out, Beloved."
"I'm sorry. I s-shouldn't have assumed." You took her hand as she stood up from the bath and pulled you up gently, passing you a towel and some of your pajamas.
"I'll buy you better pajamas as soon as I can get the tailor in, he's from the demon realm so it may take a week or so." She looked away from you going behind a partition to change into her clothes though you could still see the top of her head poking out. "Not to worry, I will never look unless I know you want me to."
"I'm alright, I d-don't need much." She tutted, leaning against the wall as she waited for you to finish dressing, getting an alert on her phone that her security team had placed the food on the kitchen table for the both of you. "Well maybe just one outfit." It wasn't what she wanted clearly but she did seem pleased with your response.
"The food arrived, My Beloved, shall we go eat?" She looked at your wet hair with a frown as you walked over to her letting her know you were dressed, snapping it dry with a partial grin and offering you her arm.
"Y-yeah that sounds nice." This was still shaky territory and you made sure to remind yourself that the entire time you ate, sure she was nice now during dinner but what might she be expecting come nightfall, you couldn't fall for her charms yet, this was still very much your former boss who held the entire city in her pocket. There was no such thing as too much caution with her.
"We could cuddle now that we've eaten, if you would like, My Beloved." She took your plates to the sink, setting them there for her to deal with at a later time, for now she just wanted to hold you meanwhile you wanted to skip straight to bedtime despite it being early in the day, at least that way her intentions would reveal themselves early.
"A-actually I'd like to go to sleep if that's okay with you?" Finally you could get rid of these confusing thoughts because the true her would show itself, the moment she had you on her bed, surely you would finally see for yourself what things she truly had in mind for you. Except no because she laid you very carefully in the crook of her arm and barely even seemed to want to breathe too heavily, scared of disrupting your rest.
"S-sawyer? W-why haven't you done anything?" You must be ugly, that must be it, that is the only reason a monster like her has not jumped you yet, except it didn't really make sense if you gave it even a second of thought because soulmates where supposed to be the most desirable thing to a person and she had showered you in praise and compliments the entire time she watched you eat what you suspected was highly expensive Lo Mein.
"My Beloved, I already told you, nothing will happen until you want it, so be at ease and sleep." She placed a tender kiss on the top of your head, frowning slight as you rolled around to face her. "Are you having trouble sleeping, My Beloved? We could always move elsewhere and try to fall asleep again later."
"N-no, uhm would you just talk to me while I fall asleep? I'd love to learn more about you?" She smiled and gave you a kiss on the forehead before chatting away about some goats that she used to see on the mountain where she grew up which was boring enough for you to finally drift off to sleep, finally convinced she was not in fact going to do something awful to you.
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lalazeewrites · 1 year
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What are your personal favorite Gallavich fics?
OKAY, BUCKLE IN!
I actually answer this fic and Tumblr like glitched and deleted it and I was crushed about it, but now I'm back. Ready to tackle this again!
First off, I have 90 Gallavich fics bookmarked. So let's start with the fact that I have a lot of fics that I LOVE and I'm going to link you right here to my Gallavich Bookmarks, should you want to look. I didn't add to my list any purely smutty fics and I have A LOT of amazing ones Bookmarked.
That being said, here are my personal standouts. I'm NOT putting these in order of how much I like them, because I would simply die on the spot under that kind of pressure.
BELOW THE READ MORE: 25 FIC RECS & SHORT RAVE REVIEWS
Life, or Something by @palepinkgoat
This fic encapsulates a lot of things that I crave in a fic that is designed specifically for my tastes. Personal journeys that begin rocky and work toward healing. Dark themes that are treated in a very matter-of-fact way instead of rolling in angst. The growth of mental health. You'll probably see those themes a lot in the fics I love. I also have a fascination with all things death, as someone who has almost died many times and who struggles with a chronic illness. This fic is so. . .beautiful? Articulate. FEELING. I love everything about it.
Belladonna by devovitsuasartes
Oh, THIS. Oof. Okay, this is fantasy HOW I WANT IT. So intricate, so unique, so embedded into the world-building that isn't word-dumped on us with exposition, but SHOWN to us. Witches and forced familiars, complicated family dynamics, rough pasts, coming full circle between the beginning and the end. Emotional journeys, coming back from tough experiences, PINING. This is the fantasy for ME.
Is There Somewhere by andchaos
Soulmates! Soulmarks! Mute Ian who is really fucking funny and sweet and Mickey who doesn't think he has a soulmate because he has no 'first words said to me' mark. I love the dance, I love their rapport, I love how warm this fic is. I've read it several times for comfort.
You Can Bite Me by @goodkwuestion
It's easy as breathing to love all of this author's fics, but this is the one for me, and it has nothing to do with the fantasy vampire aspect. This is one of the only fics that has made me cry. I don't cry from fics, almost ever. The write in this goes from hilarious, witty, clever, and sharp, and then swoops you into appreciating the beauty and sanctity of life, traversing the journey of loss and grief, embracing the passage of time, welcoming love into your life, and simply embracing what it means to be human. This fic touched me in ways I'll never be able to express without a five page essay.
Etherized Against The Sky by Snarfle
A canon-divergent story from 1x09 onward. I couldn't put this into words if I tried, because it is EVERYTHING. Everything that I could ever want in a canon compliant type of fic. Holy shit, does this make me ache. It explores so many facets of their growth, mental health, self-acceptance, found family, rebuilding blood family, and learning how to live in the world of Shameless, but this time, thriving. A complete work of art.
You make me feel human by Dragona
Listen. LISTENNN. Are you listening? Anything that is considered a 'dark' AU is going to be my jam. Anything that dips its toe or severed foot into Hannibal or Murder Husbands type worlds are not just up my alley, but they're leading right up to my fucking house and knocking on the door. This is it, folks! This is the one! No one did it like this fic did it! PLUS: A happy ending? Bitch, I'm on the ground.
My Nine Lovers by @annatrow
While we're talking kiss kiss bang bang gun boyfriends, let's just slap this fic right down here, because holy fuck, I have read it at least three times. The pining? The smut? The secrets? SEXY MURDER BOYFRIENDS TURNED HUSBANDS??? Yeah, honey, I'm here in the front row with my little #1 fingie! My Bookmark comment says "This was so fucking clever and reverent and heartening and joyful."
The Mask of Insanity by @annatrow
Yeah yeah, I am trying to pick only one per author, but I simply cannot with this one. It's so fucking gritty and smart and sharp and emotional. Full of depth, character growth, strange life coincidences, bad boys and good guys and where they fall in between together. I'm big on fics that make you fall down, get scraped up real good, then pick you up by the armpits and say, bitch, we're got more to go!
Conflict of Interest by @thisdivorce
Everyone and their mom knew this was coming. It has everything I crave in a fic. Exceptional characterization. Deeply flawed, real humans living through real life events. The struggles of being queer and unsupported, specifically within the trans community. Journeys through mental health and the pitfalls of navigating the world when you don't see it as clearly as others might. Tearing and screaming out of the confines you've built around yourself, even if they're comfortable and safe, but knowing it's no longer right for you. This fic as everything and more and I've read it three times now because it fills my heart.
(And since this author is possibly probably my fav ever in this fandom, check out WIPs Reckoner and Change Like Shifting Shadows because their writing speaks to my pain and love on a bone deep level.)
Burden of Proof by DodgerBear
Okay, I really fucking like crime fics. Whether on the good side, bad side, or grey side, I love crime fics. This one is soooooo good, and I LIVE for the pining, the draw between them, the SPICE. Please! This is so fucking well done! Whip smart and sexy!
(and shout out to WIP by the same author, Quatervois, for which I will wait an eternity to update, I don't care, go read it NOW.)
Wild West Ian and Mickey by 09cityskylights
Always always always, I will be invested in Western AUs. Any fandom, anywhere, any time. I love for Westerns and this author does it so perfectly. I fucking adore this journey and I can't recommend it enough.
Can't Figure You Out by Crimson_Bebop
If I'm going to pick one office AU from the lot (and there's so many good ones, check out this post for more), it's gonna be this. It's nerve-wrecking, hot as hell, an emotional rollercoaster. You're rooting for both of them so badly, but they both require different but equally important things in their lives, and finding that middle ground is MESSY.
Dancing After Death by @squidyyy23
Oh man. Oh shit. I don't know where or hot to start, because this combines two of my fav things, Sons of Anarchy with Shameless. It combines them, yes, but more important, this is completely it's own beast with an incredibly detailed timeline of events. It's hot as all HELL, it's gritty, it's real, it's loving and tender and difficult and highly charged with emotion and struggle. LIVING FOR IT. I have read this three times.
Teenagers Scare The Living Shit Out Of Me by Mellow_Yellow
Oh hey, we're back at the Lala Loves Murder & Crime Show, and yeah, this one is FULL of it. It's so fucked up. It's so well written. The character growth is fucking A+, the murder reveal is exceptional, the mystery is FRAUGHT WITH DANGER. Guys! It's so fucking GOOD!
Teenage Dirtbag by @celestialmickey
Hah. . .I have read this three times. I'll never have read it enough times. Ian is 17 in 1999 here and I was 12 at the time, so everything this fic speaks to speaks of my entire adolescence and I just. Deeply cherish every moment. I savor every chapter of slow build. I revel in their victories. I sing along to all of their songs that I already know by heart, I wiggle in my seat to the Spotify soundtrack, I live for the vingettes of their happy ending. This fic is so magicl and wias written with such love and care.
you'll never see us again by @spoonfulstar
Okay okay okay, listen to me. Yes, we ALL love Intro to Quantum Dating by this author. I fucking adore it. I open it up at random chapters just to read and make myself smile. But THIS FIC??? THIS ONE??? You have got to be kidding me. I cried. I fucking yearned. I hurt, I hurt so bad down to my toes, and I smiled when things went right, and I teared up when it didn't, and I hoped and prayed for a happy ending, and yes I got one that was fulfilling and beautiful and poignant. Did the fact that I am a kidney transplant recipient play into my deep-seeding feelings about this fic? Absolutely. Do I think everyone should read this fic to grasp what exceptional storytelling looks like? BIG TIME.
Solid Skies and Slate-Blue Earth Below by @sentimentalspiders
This is one of the weirdest fucking fics I"ve ever read and I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT. Best alien!Ian! Exceptional, fascinating, vivid writing style! The narrative is articulated in such an ethereal, out-of-the-box way that is perfectly fits a story that is about an alien and a very lost man. It's SOOO COOL.
Brand Spanking New by J_Q
I don't know what to tell you. Micky gets sent to a fuckin' retreat when he gets professionally spanked (by Ian) to fix his horrible behavior. He gets out of there and then he and Ian start a very detailed BDSM relationship. This is SOOO my wheelhouse of JOY, but if it is not yourself, y'know uh. I mean, I still recommend it anyway. It's so wildly delightful and hot as FUCK.
That's a Wrap by @crossmydna
Am I biased because this was written for me as a gift? Shut the fuck up, of course I am. But also, no, because well before Cross took on prompts, they were working on The Menagerie which is in my top five favorite Gallavich fics of all time, and I read it all the time AND YOU SHOULD TOO. Anyway, back to this fic. What can I say, it's EVERYTHING I WANT. Actor AUs! Meet Ugly, the hottest smut imaginable, banter that's sharp and strong, badass Ian & Mickey, everything everything everything.
The Stargazer by crazynadine
Hey yeah, hi, welcome to my Daddy Kink. There's a lot of it. Let me show you around, its got scrappy heart of gold sex worker Mickey, it's got age difference bearded and jaded by life Ian, it's got panties and road side motels, and secrets, jealousy, and hot hot hot smut, like holy shit. But if daddy kink is not your jam, then y'know. . .ahem.
The Question of Normal by blue_newman
Ian is a prison counselor and Mickey is in prison. The way that I LIVE for Ian breaching any of his professional protocols to help Mickey (this goes for so many fics in my bookmarked fics) is unholy, but how about you five me a fucking break okay. I just like it when they break the rules, as they should, because this is Shameless LOL. But seriously, this is so thoughtful and heartening and left me feeling really fucking right in the world after I read it.
Well, I hope this helped! This is only about a fifth of my Bookmarked fics, and I wanted to write about SO MANY MORE. Anyone is always welcome to ask me to rave about fics, I am always here for it lol.
I said this in the begining, but I have bookmaked A LOT of smut fics that I think are exceptional works, so I suggest you filter my Bookmarks by works under 10,000 words and you're gonna find 'em all.
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ilex-opacus · 28 days
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This is it this is the day I go crazy and talk about Akagi Ritsuko for way longer than anyone in 2024 should.
The way I have seen her miscaracterised is so.. so heartbreaking to me. Granted the Eva fandom is huge and I haven't been a part of it for a suuuper long time (I mean, the original fanbase from 30yrs ago is reduced to little more than a bunch of ghost accounts on dead forums by now) but the most common interpretation I see of her is something like this: A cold woman who has buried almost all her feelings for the sake of doing anything Gendo tells her because she's in love with him, who knows what she's doing is wrong, but who doesn't seem to care. A woman who has learned to care so little for the pilots, in particular Rei, who many people even say she hates, who only takes a stand on the "good side" once Gendo has personally scorned Ritsuko's love for him by having her put in solitary isolation.
And to me, that reading if her is just... Well not *wrong*, there aren't any *wrong* interpretations in media... What it is instead is willfully ignorant of so much if her character that proves almost all of that to be untrue.
Like yes, Ritsuko is cold. She's calculating and logical, but that's really about as far as the popular interpretation of her goes. She explains that being overly idealistic isn't something she scorns ("it's a nice way of thinking" directed at Maya and "your outlook is also important" directed at Misato) but something she knows she can't indulge in, otherwise the entirety of NERV's operating force would be hinged too much on personal feelings. Also, it's something she doesn't really know *how* to do. Look at Ritsuko's history -- a girl who practically grew up at NERV HQ, during the Second Impact, living under the constant shadow of a mother who didn't even give her the time of day. They write letters to each other in keigo instead of talking face to face. This is clearly a girl who's been isolated at least since high school, probably longer, who has probably lost so many people due to growing up during a damn extinction event. Someone who admits to being so poor at human connection that she supplements any hope for a family by raising cats, and even then! Even then she has to hand them off to relatives when her work gets too much for her. It's not that Ritsuko is cold and unfeeling because she enjoys it or scorns closeness, it's because she has never had the means or freedom to learn and foster those skills. It's her who introduces the concept of the Hedgehog Dilemma, she knows better than most how much you'll struggle to form bonds if you don't consistently try.
And Misato isn't some beacon of pilot safety either. The idea that she's the nice, sweet, helpful one and Ritsuko is the evil wench driving the pilots to their death is just blatantly incorrect. There are MULTIPLE instances of Misato being the one to endanger pilot safety, and Ritsuko being on the other end discouraging that. Take episode (I think 7 or 8?) where Ritsuko confronts Gendo about using children as pilots. She laments placing all of the burden on them, and spearheads the Dummy Plug system in the hopes it will alleviate that strain. Whereas Misato has made multiple allusions to molesting Shinji, has kissed him fully on the mouth, and seemed completely unaffected by the idea of sinking Asuka to unsafe depths in their fight against the 8th angel. The only difference in how they treat the pilots as child soldiers is that Misato is more vocal about how upset it makes her, whereas Ritsuko, not one to be talkative when it comes to her own feelings, as Misato points out, is not.
More examples of Ritsuko being nice to the pilots include: Teaching Rei and Asuka how to cook at Rei's request so that they can have a dinner together with Gendo and Shinji. Ritsuko sees this child, this child raised inside NERV in near total social isolation, begging for a chance at social contact, and she takes time out of her schedule so busy to the point she doesn't have time to wash her own clothes, to teach Rei how to cook. That brings me onto the next thing, actually, the way she's constantly characterised as despising Rei (specifically because she's "a competitor for Gendo's attention"). I can think of, at most, 2 canon instances where Ritsuko is actually mean to Rei in any specific, targeted, or substantial way. One is when she destroys the Dummy Plug system because, quote "these are just empty vessels, they have no soul. I'm going to destroy them, because I hate them." Which is bonkers to me! Bonkers! Because my IMMEDIATE thought when I first saw that scene was "Oh, of course Ritsuko hates the Dummy Plug system, it's science taken too far, it's a disgrace against life to create soulless husks, of course Ritsuko sees it as science used for too evil a purpose to justify. She hates them because they're inhumane." But somehow everyone took that as "Wow Rei I hate you so much I'm going to kill a bunch of your clones"?? I'm sorry, but since when has Ritsuko been characterised as being so *petty*? I mean, this is a 14 year old girl she's supposedly beefing with here.
The only other instance is when she says "(Unit 00) was definitely trying to kill me" after it goes AWOL during the 11th angel attack, implying Rei (who's soul is inside Unit 00) hates her, presumably because of something shes done. But OF COURSE she thinks that. Of course the head of this operation, who has overseen all of these horrible things, signed off on so many inhumane fights, thinks her soldiers want her dead. I don't think for one second Ritsuko thinks she's a good person. She literally says "you'll learn (that being idealistic is impractical) the first time you feel dirty." She feels guilt over what she does just like I said before, just like Misato does forging forward with this whole operation, she's just more quiet about it.
So why? Why does she do this? You can put Misato's involvement with NERV down to a genuine desire to help, the genuine illusion she's doing humanity good by protecting it. Throw in her half a revenge plot, and you can say she's doing these horrible things for ostensibly just reasons. But Ritsuko knows infinitely more about the inner workings of NERV, to the point it's implied (?) she killed Kaji, one of her only friends, to keep the information safe. People always put it down to just "she loved Gendo, that's why" and yes, frankly, that's a terrible reason. It also, doesn't make sense!
Take Ritsuko, a woman with little to no social fluency, a woman who can bouy herself only on her scientific merit, because remember, she lived in her mother's shadow for most of her life. The only way to ascertain her worth, especially underneath someone as unfeeling as Gendo, was to prove her commitment as a scientist. She didn't *have* anything else, she couldn't have anything else, no matter how much she wants to. A woman that has fought so hard for the approval of Gendo, and imagine you're her. Imagine your own mother won't even speak to you. You don't have any father around and you never mention him, but there is a man your mother seems to love. Odd, considering she doesn't seem to love you in any way that really counts. You'd want his approval too, no? You'd want approval from the man your mother, your overshadowing scientific monolith of a mother, melted back into humanity for. You'd want to prove you were as good as her, that you could enrapture the man she managed to ensnare. Because all you want is for people to see you, recognise you, that's like - THE key theme in evangelion across so many different characters. And remember Ritsuko was a highschooler when she met Gendo, when she found out her mother was having a fling. Imagine you're orphaned soon after, and all you have left is impossibly large boots to fill and this man, this man who is important, talented, and special enough to make your mother look at him, and he's asking you to help him. Of course you would. Of course you would. Because all you want is some human affection, no matter how clinical and predatory it manifests itself.
The line about Ritsuko and Gendo is literally "I wish you'd use my body again, like you did back then." Because Japanese lacks plurals, it can also be read "I wish you'd use my body again, like you did that other time." (In fact, I'm actually more inclined to that one because I see 時 used for singular occurance more than multiple ones, in which case 頃 feels a little more common?) I'm sorry, but you'll never convince me this wasn't grooming. Just look at the situation I described and try and convince me this is shorthand for "she was in love with Gendo." Idolised him, sure. Desperately craved his approval on an intimate and academic level? Yeah. Bit *loved* him? No. And there's certainly no way Gendo felt anything back other than some weird, predatory affection (I mean seriously, Gendo. You knew this woman when she was a high schooler and you were old enough to be banging her mom. There's a lot wrong with you already but now I'm adding perv to the list.)
And the plan he's making you execute, wouldn't you find it captivating too, if you were her? A world where all those emotional roadblocks you've built for yourself finally disappear, a world where you can open your heart and see your mother again, perhaps connect with her for the first time. A world where you don't have to prove your worth as a individual because you'll be part of so much more. A hivemind filled with love, clarity, and pure acceptance. Sure, she's not some virtuous saviour of humanity, but neither is Misato, really. No one who works at NERV can do so with a clear conscience or for an entirely noble cause. What I'm saying is that Ritsuko isn't as shallow as to do all that for Gendo's dick. She has complex, self-rationalised reasoning there like everyone else.
And that just brings me back around to her relationship with Rei. Maybe she does hate Rei, a little bit. Not because she's vying with her for Gendo's attention, because that's stupid. Ritsuko is a piller of calm rationale, of impersonality and reticence. In what world would she possibly be that possessive of anyone, even the man she idolises on a personal and academic level? She isn't even remotely cold or aggressive towards Kaji when he steals away Ritsuko's only friend or actively goes digging for NERV intel, she's KIND to him, welcomes him as much as she's able to with how closed off she's become. She isn't desperate for attention in the outward way someone like Asuka is. She wants Gendo to approve of her, but never exclusively. Id say the only person she's ever in competition with on that front is her own mother.
Rei is just like her. A girl with limited social contact who's only link to some greater sense of being and humanness is through Gendo, of all people. She needs him, depends on him, sticks to him and adores him despite knowing he's mistreating her ("I don't get special treatment. Believe me, I'd know.") She's also been groomed to be Gendo's obedient, grateful puppet, grateful because if not for him, she'd have somehow less. Maybe Ritsuko does resent her. Maybe it's like looking into a mirror at your old self and wishing you could slap sense into the person you used to be. Or maybe it's like looking at the person who made your mother commit suicide in guilt, perhaps. Everyone seems to forget that little detail.
Maybe the Dummy Plug system being destroyed wasn't Ritsuko's personal act of scientific disgust, maybe she hated those lifeless clones because she cares about Rei so much she knows a fate of reanimation into indentured military servitude is worse than death. Maybe a life spent captive under Gendo's grooming is worse than death fighting the angels. Maybe she can't stand the thought of Gendo using a person so many times over, never learning his lesson. Maybe she wanted to take away one of his strategic devices and punish him. But "she just hates Rei that much" seems like too shallow and excuse.
When Ritsuko turns on Gendo, everyone assumes it's because she's finally been personally scorned by him, and has realised he doesn't love her, or that she's angry he's thrown away all the scientific research she's poured into project E and wants to spite him. And okay, maybe those contain a grain of truth, but combined with her destruction of the Dummy Plug system and her asking him as early as episode 7 if using child soldiers is really something they can justify, Ritsuko's betrayal reads to me as a woman who has finally been given a wake up call surrounding the man who has used her for most of her life. Ritsuko is a woman who is closed off by necessity, of course it takes her personally being wronged by him in a massive, obvious way, to realise just how irredeemable he is. It's not "once you hurt me, that's it for you." its "once you hurt me, I can't overlook you hurting everyone else anymore because of how much I idolised you." That's a selfish road to take, sure, but Ritsuko hasn't the social fluency to be less so. Further proof her rebellion isn't just some scorned lover's hissyfit as so many people paint it is that she *continues* to actively work against him, dedicating all her time and skill, for 14 years during the Rebuild movies. She is so dedicated to stopping him that she works with WILLE for 14 damn years. If that's not a woman thoroughly convinced this man needs to be brought down for his crimes, I don't know what is.
Anyway. I have thoughts about Agaki Ritsuko. My beautiful blonde morally grey but still complex and emotionally wounded babe.
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shiftingconfessions · 1 month
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I am that "some things I have to say to shiftdom" or wtv the fuck I said anon that people said had limiting beliefs from a lil while back. Ya'll are gonna hate this but I'm doubling down.
Shifting MIGHT not get easier for you after your first real shift. It is not that it definitely wont get easier, but don't pretend like everyone just needs to shift once and then can do it on demand.
The problem with the wattpad ass scenarios is not that people wanna "be y/n and have fun" or wtv, it's that a lot of ya'll are treating real life like fanfiction. Do you really want to live that? Or does it just make good fanfiction?
I don't believe in limiting beliefs. I don't believe in LOA or manifestation. I didn't believe in manifestation when I shifted. I think that LOA is an incredibly problematic belief set in the new age spirituality belief system. It's based on false ideas about physics and it basically says that if there's anything wrong with your life it is your fault. I really encourage you to be honest with yourself about shifting. You can definitely shift, but you're allowed to struggle with it. You're allowed to admit to yourself that it can be hard. It does not make it any harder for you. Lying to myself ruined my relationship with shifting and myself. Brute forcing shifting probably doesn't work for most people (by that I mean, trying to shift by getting yourself to fully believe will wake up in your DR). I get that being a 'girlboss who takes no from no one' has been popular in recent years, but maybe you should try asking for permission to shift. Ask your higher self or something like that for permission. Don't go into attempting shifting thinking that you definitely will because you are setting yourself up for disappointment. You are the universe experiencing itself, you are also human, an animal who doesn't know everything.
.
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nonbinarydeity · 1 year
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It's not your job to manifest
Have you been trying to get your desires forever, but have been unable to succeed? Have you been saturating your mind, getting into the state of having, etc with no results? I'm here to bring some comfort, and also some tough truths for you to swallow 💕
Please note that these are my beliefs, but they can be beneficial for anyone struggling to keep up with manifesting, especially if it's hurting your mental health.
You don't have to do anything
It really is as simple as "desire and it shall be" when it comes to manifestation. In fact, manifestation as a term is pretty misleading, as it implies that you're doing something, when in reality the only thing that you "do" to manifest is want something. You can write it down/ affirm/ etc, but that's for you, it's not going to get you what you want any faster.
Let me explain how reality works for a second. You exist on a 3D plane of reality, where you experience things like love, fear, doubt, joy, etc.
Side note: Fear, doubts, anxiety, etc belong to this plane of reality; they are not natural feelings (remember how carefree you were as a child? That's your natural state), they come from traumatic experiences and the society we live in. It's okay and natural to feel these things from the circumstances we live in, so don't worry about them 💕
Your subconscious mind is on a higher plane of reality called the 4D. It is the true reality (think of it as a computer, and the 3D as the computer screen), and it is where the 3D is created.
Tumblr media
Do you see how the 3D exists within the 4D? The 4D creates the 3D, the 3D has no power on its own.
From this, there is one huge conclusion we can come to: we (3D beings) do not influence the 4D (aside from telling it our desires); therefore, nothing we do on this physical plane (which includes in our brains/minds) will speed up the process of getting our desires.
You read correctly. All of this manifestation stuff? It's pointless. But this should be freeing, and let me tell you why:
The 4D and you
Within the 4D plane exists your subconscious mind. This is a part of you that you cannot directly access, but it is what creates your reality. Your subconscious mind loves you, and it wants to give you everything in the world! It's like your best friend, all you have to do is ask it for things, and it will give them to you!! It goes like this:
You have a desire in the 3D > the 4D takes your desire and implements it instantly > the 4D gives the command to the 3D to give you your desire > the 3D changes and you get what you want!
This process is why you sometimes get exactly what you wanted WITHOUT affirming or getting into a state of having it. You don't need those things, you just need the desire.
Why do bad things happen? Why does it take a while to get my desire??
This is a big question, and let me first start off with explaining something. We exist in an infinite multiverse of possible realities, and each reality has something called a "reality concept." A reality concept is the set of rules that a certain reality follows!
Some examples of a reality concept for this reality would be: gravity exists, money exists, humans are the main species on planet earth, spoken language is used to communicate, etc. This reality concept also has rules like: evil can exist, bad things can happen, manifestation can take time, etc.
The reason that bad things happen is not because of your subconscious mind, it's just one of the rules of this particular reality concept! You can easily change this by desiring for it to change, but it may take a little time since that's one of this reality's rules.
Okay, so if I can't do anything to manifest besides desire, what can I do?
Excellent question! We as human beings on this 3D plane are meant to exist and enjoy our lives. We are not meant to create this reality: our minds could not handle such a big task! Some things that you could focus on are: improving your mental health, doing things you enjoy, scripting new desires, learning to trust your subconscious, trying new things, etc.
I know how this sounds. "So what you're saying is, nothing is going to change and I can't change that?" NO! The moment you desire something, your subconscious mind implements it into the 4D. If you want something, you are meant to have it, and it is 100% guaranteed to happen (as long as you don't change your mind)!! The only thing I'm saying is: be patient. It is coming to you, you are going to get it, you might just have to wait a little while. I know that we as humans are extremely bad about being patient, and we get restless very easily, but please just try to remember that what you want is guaranteed to come to you, just give it time 💕
Outro
You as a human being are not meant to do anything to manifest your desires, it is already taken care of by your subconscious mind in the 4D. Anything you do to manifest will merely be for your mind's benefit, it won't get you what you want faster.
What you desire is guaranteed to you, you are meant to have what you want, just be patient and it will come to you. The 3D is just being a little slow, don't take back your desire just because it's taking some time 💕
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rjalker · 1 month
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"I'm autistic and I feel isolated, almost like I'm a different species, so I'm going to write a story about someone who literally is a different species and that's why they don't fit in!!!"
Okay, cool, sounds fun. But are you prepared to deal with the resulting statement you're making that different people shouldn't live together?
Are you going to provide specific problems that arise from this scenario that make cohabitating an actual problem, (temperature incompatability, dietary requirements that can't be met, overstimulation from having different levels of hearing or vision) or is it just going to be that the problem is they're different kinds of people, and that means they shouldn't live together?
If you want to write being a completely different species as a metaphor for being autistic, you need to make sure you're not accidentally arguing that segregation is a good thing.
Because you can very easily slide from point A (being autistic is socially isolating because you're different from everyone else) to point E (different people shouldn't live together at all because there's no way to be happy unless you're around people who are exactly like you)
How to avoid this with your "different species as a metaphor for autism" stories?
Assuming your setting has many sentient species, have very specific problems that prevent specific different species from living together.
Do not make it a general problem of "no species can live together"
Show us different species living together, even when there's no "real" advantage to doing so (like living in a port city with lots of trade passing through). Make cohabitation a casual thing that lots of people from lots of different species do.
Show us accommodations that species make for eachother when living together. Species X has incredibly sensitive hearing that can cause them pain? Species Y adapts their local dialect to soften what would normally be loud pronunciations to convey specific meanings. Species A has strict mating seasons where they lose control of themselves and start attacking anyone they view as a rival? Species B, and anyone else who doesn't want to participate in the fighting, moves to another site for the season and gets to come back in a few weeks to everything being nice and tidy.
Make it so there are specific problems that specific individuals have with certain situations, not the entire species at large. Even with your metaphor being about being autistic, you should still have some characters, of every species, who are literally autistic. And include other neurodiversities too, like mental illnesses.
And while we're at it, give people physical disabilities too, and not just as a result of cohabitation with the "Well species J are mermaids and Species K are land-mammals, so if you think about it, Species K are disabled in the water" thing. Have characters who are amputees from birth and injuries. Have people with allergies. Have people with migraines. People who are deaf and blind and hard of hearing and struggle to see and any other physical disability you can think of. Your species shouldn't be monoliths, not mentally, physically, or culturally.
???? IDK
Just try not to let your "being autistic is like being a different species! I must find my people!!!" thing turn into "segregation is good and are we even really sure those other species are even people"? thing.
because it's a lot shorter of a slide than you think it is.
And again. cannot stress this enough. You also have to show literal autistic characters existing in your setting in these various cultures. Even if it's a fantasy setting so you make up another word to use instead of "autistic".
Otherwise your story might accidentally have the moral of "autistic people are literally not human and there's something Wrong With Them™ that we need to try and fix or else we have to cast them out of society altogether".
Don't let biological essentialism ruin your fun autistic story.
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burningvelvet · 3 months
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re my lbr: it's so stupid that all the academic/studying/literary tags on this website are inundated with pictures of coffee and cafés. like yeah a lot of academics work in cafés and are addicted to coffee but c'mon just start a separate thing called cafécore or coffeecore or something. some of you really maybe don't like reading at all and maybe you should become one of those coffee bean enthusiasts and that's perfectly fine. i also think everything about the romanticization of academia/dark academia/etc is ridiculously stupid considering that academia is an extremely exploitative industry and anyone who has been in the education system should be thoroughly disenchanted with it and critical of the caffeine culture which perfectly illustrates how severely the people are overworked.
really a lot of dark academics on tumblr are just touting a nerdier form of grind mindset hustle culture. how is romanticising the drug addictions to nicotine and caffeine any different from finance bros or tech bros or jocks romanticizing cocaine or ritalin or steroids. depending on chemical substances to alter your brain because you physically cannot perform at the level you're holding yourself to (or being held to) is the perfect example of how patriarchal/hierarchical/capitalist cultures grind the lower classes into dust. note that i'm not talking about people who use these things responsibly to treat their disorders, i'm specifically talking about people who use substances to facilitate unhealthy 20 hour study/work sessions. stop glorifying being overworked & stressed out.
if you're a young adult or especially a teenager on these dark academia blogs please get out of that mindset quickly and realize that for a lot of people studying/work/output is just another form of self-harm/self-destruction. you should never tie your productivity or your grades to your self-worth. of course having good grades is a noble aspiration but there's also more to life and you must recognize that most educational institutions are not truly equal or just. seek accomodations if you need them, because any system that prioritizes productivity is usually pretty ableist and steeped in a hierarchical structure that promotes competition in unhealthy ways.
my wish is that we humans could all work less and instead live in egalitarian socieities void of hierarchies/patriarchy/competition - and the older i get, the more i realize how nefarious these things are and how they seep into every aspect of life, and how at odds i am with these structures not only as a female but as someone who has struggled from ableism and classism, both of which for me were manifested in educational difficulties from a young age which followed me into adulthood. anyway to clarify, i am passionate about academia (which is why i use academic tags on my blog) - but for me its a hobby, and i'll never glorify work, and i'll probably never monetize my passions, thereby avoiding having all the love sucked out of me. but i digress
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justalittlesolarpunk · 6 months
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this is 2 questions, but they're both a little depressing, sorry
any tips for just keeping up hope? things just seem so awful as of late. ik bad things happen all the time, but it just seems like things are genocide on top of environmental collapse on top of genocide. how can you stay hopeful?
and any tips for enacting change as a minor? i don't have any income to spend on supporting causes, i'm not allowed to go to protests or rallies or anything of the like, i can't vote. i feel so useless. i know there has to be something i can be doing! i just don't know what.
again, sorry if this is. not the sort of thing you'd like to answer, i'd understand completely. feel free to like. ignore this i suppose
your blog seems lovely, it's nice to see someone determined to fight for a better world. i hope you have a wonderful day.
Hi. Thanks for getting in touch, and please don’t apologise for your questions. I’m sorry to hear you’ve been struggling, and I want to start by saying that what you’re feeling is a normal, healthy result of being a caring human being in a world full of cruelty and suffering. This is a really difficult time for the planet and its people and so I’d start by saying you’re allowed to feel dispirited and hopeless, especially as a minor looking around and seeing this is the world you’re growing up in.
This will probably be quite a long answer so I apologise for that, but you’ve caught me on my favourite topic - hope. To begin with, I have a little mantra that I repeat to myself which is that while despair as an emotional response is valid and to be expected, despair as an ideological orientation is not acceptable. What this means is that I allow myself and others slack and compassion at times when the feeling that everything is just too fucked to fix takes over. But I don’t permit myself to stop that from making me act. I take inspiration from people who have survived and are surviving incredible adversity - from the indigenous people who chose to keep living, to keep preserving their language and religion and culture, to keep fighting for their land and bringing children into the world even after everything they recognised about it was gone. We aren’t the first culture to face an apocalypse. Similarly I think of the low-lying islanders and other people in the Global South or the Arctic Circle seeing their means of subsistence or their homes being destroyed by climate change. I know this doesn’t sound at all hopeful on the surface, but I remind myself that these people don’t have the luxury of nihilism or despair. They have to keep trying, again and again, rebuilding the dams and re-roofing their houses and planting again the crops that they lost to extreme weather. If they give up, they die. They don’t need my tears and they don’t want my pity. And so reminding myself of the solidarity I owe them sort of resets my brain into getting-stuck-in-mode.
One of the most important things I have done and would recommend others to do to keep the despondency at bay is to act, to get up each morning and make the choice to do good, even if it’s just being kind and friendly to the people I see that day, or signing an online petition, or planting something in the ground. Sure, these actions won’t change the world on their own, but they contribute. And more importantly, they change you.
The second biggest thing is to control your media diet. That means getting serious about reining in your doomscrolling. The news and social media are full of appalling images right now and I’m not saying you should look away, or pretend it isn’t happening, but you have to remember that you becoming emotionally numbed out and vicariously traumatised doesn’t help the victims of war or environmental disaster. So balance out the negative news by actively seeking out things that are going well in the world. Remember that every day countless people get up determined to make things better. Visit Positive News, The Good News Network, The BBC’s Uplifting Stories Page, and similar sites. Follow Sam Bentley and Zahra Biabani. Read Rutger Bregman and Hans Rosling and Jon Alexander. Remind yourself that the good things happening in the world aren’t cancelled out by the bad ones any more than they cancel out the bad. Look for signs of care in the world around you: see how the old friends at the train station hug tightly when they’re reunited, or how the schoolboy helps his friend with his jacket, or the crowd parts to let the old woman through. These things seem small but they are the groundwork for everything we can achieve together.
I have hope because even in the midst of appalling scenes in the Middle East, aid workers are going in with food and medicine, risking their own lives, journalists are drawing attention to the situation, Israelis (even some with families held hostage) are calling for an end to the bombing, groups of Palestinian and Israeli communities have been working together for decades and will be the first to pick up the pieces when the dust settles, and because thousands are marching for justice and peace all over the world. Sometimes the moments that reveal the worst of humanity show us its best too. ‘Look for the helpers’ is a cliche but it’s genuinely useful.
Hope is also something you work at, a skill to be cultivated like any other, and I have found the writings of Rebecca Solnit hugely helpful in cultivating my own practice of hope. In terms of the environment, solarpunk shares origins with hopepunk, a genre that is all about triumphing (or even just trying your damn hardest) in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds. You don’t have to become a perfect optimist overnight, you don’t even have to be an optimist at all, you can just hope out of spite. Because the last thing that the corrupt politicians and the war criminals and the fossil fuel billionaires and the media commentators want you to think is that things don’t have to be this way and can get better.
Watch the Earthshot Prize Awards Ceremony even though it’s weird and corporate. Get newsletters from MSF or the UN agencies doing good work on the ground. Watch the birds out of your window. Revisit those good news websites regularly to check out the latest stories. Listen to podcasts that imagine a better future (I am working on a resources masterpost so check back in for that). Bake a cake for someone you know who is having a hard time - maybe that someone is you. That’s ok too. We cannot change the world alone but we can hold and soothe some of the pain in it. And take care of yourself - remember that, as Audre Lorde said, self-care is an act of political warfare. Make joy your resistance whenever you can.
This kind of ties in to your second question - how to make change as a minor. I know you don’t have a lot of power but you can still make a difference. See if you can make an environment society or a group of socially conscious students at your school. Talk to your friends about climate change and social justice issues (studies say this is the single action you can take as an individual that has the greatest likelihood of contributing to systemic change - ahead even of giving up flights or going vegan). Talk to your parents if they’re receptive. Talk to siblings and cousins and the guy behind the supermarket counter. Surround yourself with people who want to make things better, if you can. You’d be surprised how much change you can make even just by asking people or institutions to do better - can your school improve its sustainability, for instance? Write to elected officials even though you can’t vote (they don’t need to know that! You don’t need to tell them your age!) and sign petitions if you can’t go to protests. Sneak out to a protest if you feel like rebelling (though make sure a trusted friend knows where you are and follow safety guidelines available online).
Give yourself some grace to mess up and fall short and fail. It’s beyond unfair you have to be worrying about any of these things, but you are, and that’s because you have a big heart. Take some time to cry in your bed if you need it - I know I have over these past few weeks. Then when you’re ready, get up, wipe your eyes, roll up your sleeves and get to work.
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