#the nightfolk network
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Hello! You have a problem. You were cursed by a witch to only be able to communicate in second person. This is annoying, but manageable. However, the curse turned out a bit strong, and anyone who tries to talk to you will ALSO only be able to communicate in second person while communicating with you.
You will be honest, you kind of totally deserved the curse. You were rude to the witch on your date and acted VERY self-centered and didn't ask her about herself, very bad etiquette, etcetera. You're honestly fine with just riding the curse out at least for a while longer, it's a good reminder that you aren't perfect and growth is a constant process.
But you're pretty sure that the extra-strength whammy is probably very disconcerting for anyone you're trying to talk to, especially if they're not expecting it, and it's making your job as a call center tech support advisor VERY confusing for everyone involved. And you'd just text the witch to go, hey, you understand that curses are meant to be inconvenient and this is all part of the lesson and whatnot, but you don't think it's fair to strangers who need help with their iPhones, so could you maybe adjust that a bit? But he blocked you on Grindr and you don't know how to get in contact with him elsewise, so you're making a hail mary by trying to call into TNN.
You're pretty sure you don't actually need advice but you'd appreciate it if maybe you could get the word out that if anyone knows a witch in Southpoole with a rocking body, GREAT tongue, bit of a lisp, and mottled brown scales, PLEASE have him contact you about this and also you're sorry--no, sorry, YOU'RE sorry--agh, whatever, you get what you mean.
You can certainly see how- Ah. Yes, you see the problem. You had been somewhat optimistic the curse might not extend to this more removed form of communication, but it seems you were mistaken.
You can certainly get the word out on your platforms – if any of your other followers recognise the individual in question based on that rather… enthusiastic description, please do encourage them to get in touch with the author of this letter at their earliest convenience.
.You say you're willing to ride out the curse until its natural end. That is entirely up to you, of course. However, you would like to note that mild to moderate curses can often be lifted by other practitioners without too much trouble.
If the curse grows overly wearisome or hasn't lifted by itself in, say, two months time, you recommend seeking out a local practitioner and having the curse ended that way. As always, do make sure any practitioner you hire for such work has a proper license, and steer clear of anyone making overblown claims about their abilities.
Finally, while you are generally of the opinion that curses are a rather tasteless way of handling interpersonal conflicts, you must allow, they can be rather effective.
You hope you have learnt your lesson as well as you claim, and that you will be more considerate in the future – or at the very least, save your rudeness for dates who can't call on dark powers to inflict weird suffering upon you in retaliation.
#answered#the nightfolk network#monstrous agonies#love it when a submission throws down a bit of a writerly gauntlet like this haha
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when you say official extension, do you mean it's you/someone you know who writes, over at the nightfolk network? ^-^
It's me, baby! 100% Heroic Content over there 😎😎
#monstrous askbox#monstrous agonies#the nightfolk network#i would say that i know them yes#though not as well as i think my friends and loved ones know them....
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@monstrousagonies just got this tumblr ad for a dating website for introverted ghosts. Nightfolk Network vibes?
Or wait... is that AI art...
If so this would be a better fit with the CEO, I guess
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@monstrousagonies Caller 4 i’m in love with you
[id the fly person from The Fly (1958) saying “my boyfriend thinks I’m ugly. frown emoji”. End id]
#monstrous agonies#new ep#was gonna use the samsa in bed pic for this but this fits better#(and is Also referenced in this letter so double fit)#(i havent read the one or watched the other but this letter was the extra encouragement i needed)#HERO what would you do if someone sent in a letter/prompt that was straight up just The Metamorphosis???#like 'hello nightfolk network i turned into a giant bug and my boss still wants me to go to work what do i do?'#(this is all i know about The Metamorphosis plus his family is also weird about it? idk)
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✨ Why you should listen to Monstrous Agonies! ✨
Monstrous Agonies is a fiction podcast created by @monstrousproductions that captures the weekly advice segment on the UK's only dedicated radio station for creatures of the night 👻🥰
Featuring:
A late-night radio advice show for monsters
A butter-voiced English narrator so soothing they have literally sent people to sleep (take care if listening while driving!)
Now complete at three seasons, there's over 100 episodes to binge, with additional bonus eps, bloopers and end-of-season Q&As
Full transcripts for every episode, linked in the show-notes
Average episode length of 10-15 minutes (can you tell it was made by someone with ADHD... 😉)
Monsters as a metaphor for marginalisation
Monsters as not-a-metaphor-at-all - sometimes a sentient tapeworm is just a sentient tapeworm
Asexual vampires! Gay werewolves! Trans lizard ladies! If it can be queer, by God it will be queer!
Funny ha-ha!
Also, funny like ‘wait, are they eating people?’
Variously described as, ‘eldritch late-night Radio Four’, ‘fun and full of love’, and ‘like a warm hug from a creature with one too many arms
'While the podcast is now finished, the world continues here on @thenightfolknetwork where you can send in your questions about life, love, and all things liminal 😎
If that sounds like your cup of tea, search for 'Monstrous Agonies' on your podcatcher of choice and give us a listen! 🎧💕
#ooc#the nightfolk network#monstrous agonies#podcast recommendations#queer creator#queer podcast#audio drama#audio fiction#fiction podcast#audiodrama#horror podcast#advice podcast#bit of everything podcast
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Hello. I'm, um, not entirely sure how to talk about this. I hope it's okay if I misspeak. I'm a human, right, so I think that needs to be clear more than anything, but I've been very involved in the creature community for years now. I live by a great big lake and I always liked to walk down the shore late at night or early in the morning, you know, just to try and get out of my own head, and one night ages ago I accidentally tripped over someone's jacket and twisted my ankle. It was a gorgeous fur jacket, too, not like any kind of fur I'd seen in a jacket before, but just stunningly soft and thick as Hell.
Now, of course I didn't take it, that'd be awful, but also I had just hurt myself in kind of a nasty way and so it wasn't like I had anything else to do but sit by the shore next to the jacket and waited, and yeah, a few hours later one of the lake seals popped its head out of the water, looked at me for a good long while, and then...well, I mean, you know how the rest of the story goes, I'm sure.
Anyway, it's been a few years now and I've become really close to this family. I didn't really know anyone in my town before meeting them and I'm not on speaking terms with my own folks, so in a lot of ways these people have become my family, and it's an honor that they trust me to keep guard of their cloaks and such when they go out. But I've got this problem, right, and it's just...over the years it's felt less and less like I fit in with other humans. All my friends are nightfolk now, my family hates me even more because they're bigots--in this night and age, can you fucking believe it--and it's just like every night I get further and further away from the shore.
I'm just scared because...I don't *want* to stop drifting away. I've had dreams of joining them down there in the lake, practically every night for months on end. I've tried doing research into methods of joining the community but I don't want to become a vampire, I don't fancy any lunar-aligned nonsense, nothing has felt right except selkies, but I can't decide if I'm just self aware enough that I need a push from an outside viewer to try and accept something I already know full well...or if no, actually, that little voice in my stupid head that won't go away that keeps calling me a fraud, an invader, an appropriator--what if the reason it's not going away is because it's right and I really don't belong?
Just...please be honest with me. Am I a complete asshole for spending hours every day trying not to just outright beg my family--sorry, chosen family--to help me sew myself a cloak, or is there something to this?
First of all, reader, please rest assured. As long as you are speaking from a place of kindness and a willingness to learn, you don't need to worry about using all the correct terminology. I always try to listen generously when people come to me in need, and I encourage our followers to do the same.
Unfortunately I can well believe that bigots like your biological relatives still exist. I'm glad you've been able to extract yourself from their hateful society, and have found comfort, support and kinship among the nightfolk.
You say there is a little voice in your head calling you a fraud, casting doubt on the validity of your feelings. As much as you might want to push it away and stop your ears, I want you to listen to that voice, just for a little while. Pay attention to the language it uses and what ideas it seems to have about the world.
And then ask yourself: is this my voice? Does that sound like me? Or does this sound like a last, desperate, wriggling remnant of the people I've worked so hard to distance myself from?
Every one of us is raised with a narrative, a story about the world and our place in it, and how we should treat the people around us. We're told that story by our parents, by our teachers and schoolmates, by television and books and a million other sources. The story is so vast and so all-encompassing, it takes an enormous effort to be able to see any single part of it clearly.
Imagine, then, how hard we have to work to realise some of that story is untrue, or harmful, fed by hatred and fear. To start untangling ourselves from the rotting, strangling roots of the story we've known all our lives, and start planting something new and fresh and honest.
It sounds to me like this little voice is one of those lingering strands of the story you were raised with – one where liminality is nothing to admire or strive for, and where you cannot be trusted to know your own mind, and your own needs. It's time to tell yourself a better story.
You've found people who honour you with their trust and who make you feel supported and loved, as you deserve. You admire them, and want to be like them. None of this sounds “stupid” to me.
This is not a decision to be taken lightly. By all means, take your time, and talk your feelings through with your family. But I think you already know what story you want for yourself, reader – and for what it's worth, I think the world will be better for its telling.
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I never wanted to be part of the creature community. It isn't that I have anything against anyone--I was just born sapio and didn't ever feel any desire to be Turned. I was happy with my life and myself and I was more busy with my O-Levels and looking to go to uni than anything else. But that's all changed a couple of years ago when...well, I know the technical term, but "Sudden-Onset Apotheosis Syndrome" is just a fancy way of saying "Turned into a god with no discernible reason", yeah? It always makes me feel like a tool and so I try to hide it as best I can--no one wants to hear you complain about how hard it is being given divine powers and all that entails.
But I do have a problem, and I thought I might not be the only one with it, MUST not be, except I can't find anyone talking about it and so here I am? I can't talk to anyone anymore, can barely do even shopping for groceries, I feel paralyzed because all of a sudden now I have to think about a whole lot more than a "five year plan". All around me my old friends and my family, they're all...
...They're all dying. Not of anything particular--yet--but I can't so much as think of them without knowing how they're all going to die one day and I'm...not. I'm going to keep being like this for as close to "forever" that matters. It doesn't matter what I do or what they do, in just a handful of decades everyone I've ever known and loved will just be dust and I'll still look like I'm seventeen. And it isn't just people, it's everything. I thought I was used to the idea of living in a world perpetually sprinting headfirst towards climate disaster or nuclear oblivion, but NOW it's like--what, am I going to just be wandering around the blasted radiated wastelands waiting for the cockroaches to evolve wi-fi? I can't so much as plan for a lunch date tomorrow without working myself into a freezing panic about something that's not going to happen for ten thousand years--what the fuck is wrong with me?
How do any of you manage this sort of lifetime expectancy? How do you not try and Turn everyone on the street out of pure terror that they'll die and you won't? If this is how bad I feel after a few months, how much worse will it be in a year? In ten? In a million?
I'm so glad you've reached out, reader. This sounds to have been an extremely frightening, isolating experience for you, and I'm grateful you feel safe bringing that experience to my door.
The first point I want to talk to is your assertion that you are going to “keep being like this” forever. I recognise that some divine individuals do experience true eternal life, unchanged and unchanging. But they are few and far between, and it doesn't sound from your letter that the condition applies to you. Truly eternal beings do not suffer from panic attacks, for one thing.
You may not change physically, and emotional or intellectual change may be a little more difficult for you than they were before your apotheosis. But over time, I assure you, you will change. You will have new experiences and be shaped by them. And that means you can heal from this.
You ask “what the fuck is wrong” with you. Nothing is wrong with you. You are responding to a desperately frightening situation that has undermined every expectation and hope you had for how your life would play out. Give yourself a little grace, my dear.
This powerful fear response is not a personal failing or a sign of weakness. Your brain and body are trying to keep you safe, urging you to certain actions in a bid to protect you from harm.
The next time that “pure terror” hits you, try to breathe through it. Notice how it's making you want to behave, and acknowledge these impulses as a desire to protect yourself and the people around you. And then, let the suggestions go.
The action – or freezing, panicked inaction – suggested by your fear is not helpful. You can't turn the world, and you can't sit in frozen panic, waiting for the world to end. Take a breath, and ask yourself instead what you can do.
When you feel afraid of losing your friends, focus instead on expressing gratitude for the time you get to share with them. If you're afraid of the effects of climate catastrophe or political conflict, try getting involved in helpful action around these concerns. Let your love for this world and the people in it carry you forwards, not hold you back.
There are many models of god-hood. The detached, eternal observer is only one model of divinity, and not one you have to accept for yourself. Embrace instead your own immanence. You are here in the world. You can connect. You can change. You can make a difference.
We cannot possibly know what the future will hold, for ourselves or anyone else. Perhaps the world will end in fire and fury. Perhaps there will be exciting cockroach internet in our future. And perhaps life will carry on much as it always had, but in shinier outfits and with more spaceships. Who knows. What I do know is that nothing can be gained from worrying about that now.
You do not have to have a ten thousand year plan, dear reader. You do not need to have a ten year plan. It might be helpful to have a plan for the coming week, if only so you can make sure you take enough time to do the weekly shop and catch up with some friends.
Beyond that, remember: you are here with us, experiencing linear time just like everyone else. So please, try to take it as anyone else must – one day at a time.
#answered#the nightfolk network#monstrous agonies#a little later than planned because i borked my schedule but here we are!#had a lot of fun with this one#and also got the phrase “immanatise the tumblr anon” stuck in my head
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Welcome to the Nightfolk Network!
From werewolves in the doghouse to new ghouls at work, there's no problem too strange for the Nightfolk Network, offering advice and guidance to the creature community.
If you're a person of the night or otherwise identify as a member of the liminal community, we want to hear from you! Send us your questions, queries and concerns through our Ask box, and we'll do our best to advise. Answered letters are posted at 8PM every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday, and are tagged #answered.
We also accept adverts for products and services for the creature community! These are tagged #in-universe advert.
Not sure where to start? Check out the About page to learn more, or tune in to Monstrous Agonies, available wherever good podcasts are found. I also talk a bit more in depth about how letters get picked to be answered on this thread.
Please note: I cannot use asks written without full stops or commas. Spelling and grammar doesn't have to be perfect, but please break up your sentences.
If you're enjoying the blog, feel free to throw some money at my head via my Ko-Fi 💕
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Ok so, I'm not...supposed to exist?
I am—er, well, was an imaginary friend. My "brother" was a lonely little boy who was quite neglected looking back, and he wanted someone to spend his time with, a "sister".
So he dreamed, and I came to be. Now, even as a child he wasn't the most imaginative sort, preferring to imagine things he could see and wonder about what was rather than make something new completely from scratch. So, in his mind, his sister looked just like him, just with longer hair. I think that's one of the reasons i'm...like this.
Most children describe their imaginary friends as fantastical, with great glittering wings or neon spots and the like. Most children stop talking or believing in their imaginary friends around a certain age. Most children cannot see someone else's friend. No one, outside of the child, can see an imaginary friend.
Until now? I think? These are all observations I've made.
I remember only existing when my brother was around. We would play and "go on adventures" and just have fun. When it was dinner time, I would sit beside him and eat... but couldn't eat. I would say things to make him laugh, but no one else would acknowledge I was there. I didn't think much of it at the time since..well, I couldn't think. I wasn't real.
As he grew, he must have imagined me growing as well. As he learned, I did, too, and must have adjusted accordingly. Unlike his peers, he was convinced that I was a person and was angry when people told him otherwise.
We got older and he got more insistent when suddenly, people started to play along. Pretending to see me and talk to me when it was clear that they couldn't. I think this was when I started to...feel things? Think?
We fought, my brother and I. He was graduating secondary and heading to Uni. I asked him why he still imagined me when it was clear he didn't need me anymore. He said he did need me. I didn't believe him, we argued, and he left.
I was still there.
Before, time almost seemed to...skip? Think cutscenes from those video games everyone seems to like playing. The day ends, I blink and it's morning, no sleep needed. Brother was distracted? Time skips until he addressed me again.
I've never not been without him before. I panicked. I collapsed against the wall and I felt it. The cool wall, the tears streaming down my face, my brother's hug when he came to apologize. I don't know how to handle it.
When we sat down for dinner, his mum and dad addressed me and asked if I was alright, as if they had always known I existed. They could see me and my distress. I tried to explain, but everyone looked at me confused. They told me that of course i existed, I always did.
But I know the truth. There are no pictures of me in this house. There are no school records of me or medical ones. I have no bedroom or clothes of my own. I did not exist.
I don't know exactly when I became "real" but I am now. I just...I don't know what to do? I wasn't real and now I am and everyone calls me crazy for thinking otherwise. How does one exist? My brother is leaving for Uni soon and everyone expects the same of me, as if I've been accepted into one. I haven't, I've checked.
Why do I exist? Why does no one acknowledge that I never did?
Please.
I'm scared.
I'm so glad you've written in, reader. Quite apart from the existential questions your situation raises, there is also rather a lot of paperwork involved.
It is possible to live in the UK without being part of the civil bureaucratic system – indeed, there are certain isolated genuses whose right to do so has been fiercely protected over the generations. But it's a tremendously difficult way to live if you have any intention of engaging with the economic, education or healthcare systems.
The Bunbury Institute of Manifested Personages should be your first port of call to tackle the logistical and legal difficulties presented by your case. They'll be able to get you sorted with all the documentation you need to prove your existence, including a Certificate of Corporeal Incarnation, which will stand in where others might use their birth certificate.
Once you legally exist, you'll be able to open a bank account, apply for a passport, and essentially make whatever choices you want to make about how to spend the rest of your existence. Which brings me to the real heart of your letter – the emotional impact of your change in circumstance.
Sudden onset incarnation is a profoundly disruptive experience no matter how, when or to whom it occurs. Even if your family were able to understand the situation and support you through it, it would still be an extremely difficult situation to navigate. As it is, the nature of your previous existence and the way your incarnation has taken effect means they're just not able to.
You ask why nobody acknowledges your previous non-existence. Generally speaking, most people find it extremely difficult to the point of near impossibility to really understand divergent realities. It's not that your family are trying to undermine you – they are literally, psychologically and biologically, incapable of understanding how you have come to be.
I strongly recommend you find someone to talk to about this issue as soon as you can. Without your legal paperwork in place, it will be difficult to access mental health support either privately or through the NHS. However, the Bunbury Institute and other such charitable organisations may be able to put you in touch with support groups for others like yourself.
What's important is that you know, you're not alone in this. Whatever your family may believe, your experiences are real and valid. And, now, so are you. It's going to be a big adjustment, figuring out how you want to live in the world now you're here. Try not to get too overwhelmed. Take things one day at a time, try to keep an eye on the positives, and give yourself the grace and time you need to process the negatives. In time, I feel sure you'll be able to build a life that feels right for you.
#answered#the nightfolk network#monstrous agonies#everyone pretend this went up yesterday evening lol#we're literally buying a house right now and my brain is mildly fried xD#this was such a fun letter to dig into though thank you anon!!
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I’ve been with my fiancé for over 8 years now. We’ve been friends for even longer and just last summer we had been planning our wedding ceremony. Now, his family hadn’t been the best supportively, not when he came out as gay, and especially not when he, a Sapio, started dating me, a giant. They then effectively disowned him after we announced our engagement. I think they might have had some weird hope he’d ’change his mind’ or that it was a ‘phase’. This was about 3 years ago now, and I can’t speak for my partner, but he admitted though it hurt, he was relieved to be away from them after all the abuse.
Anyway, the reason for this letter is about 7 months ago we had gotten word that his family had been in a serious accident and that his parents, sister and her husband had passed away and he was listed as next-of-kin and subsequently guardian for his 4 year old nephew.
Now, we never really talked about kids beyond some vague idea. But my partner wasn’t going to turn away the kid, nor did I expect him to. So, after the funeral service and sorting with social services, we brought his nephew home.
It has been an adjustment for all of us, getting used to having a kid around and him being in a new environment that’s more geared for my size honestly. and we’ve been trying to find a good child psychologist for him. but the main problem is… well, he’s afraid of me.
I can’t really blame him for that, after everything he went through, but it still hurts sometimes when he flinches when I enter a room or speak to him. Or how he looks ready to cry when I open my mouth. Even trying to hide when he sees me just reading a book. I’ve grown up in a mixed community, but the way the kid looks at me, for the first time in a very long time, I feel like a monster.
My partner has told me once when we were in bed that his ‘family’ had been filling the kid’s head with anti-nightfolk ideologies and even some rather… well, blood-libel comments. I think he was trying to comfort me as he noticed the way the kid had been a lot more skittish with me than with him. He has been trying to explain that a lot of the stuff his folks talked about was lies and really bad stuff, but it’s hard unlearning these sort of things. I had suggested we postpone the wedding, at least till things settle.
I have been trying to seem less ‘intimidating’, not smiling with my fangs and trying to look smaller than I really am. But I’m worried he might never not be afraid of me. And I never told my partner, but I’m afraid that he will be forced to pick between me and the kid, and I don’t want him to do that as I know either option will hurt him.
So I’m asking. Is there anything I can do to try and help seem less… monstrous to my nephew?
I'm afraid there are no quick fixes here, reader. Your nephew has been exposed to some seriously toxic ideologies from a very early age. That isn't the sort of thing you can fix over night.
I would caution against trying too hard to diminish yourself or your creaturely traits as part of this process. You want your nephew to be comfortable with you, not with a nervous caricature of yourself.
Instead, I encourage you to behave at home as normally as you can, being as friendly as he'll allow you to be and respecting his boundaries when he expresses them.
If you haven't already, talk to your partner about what your strategies are going to be to improve the situation. This is a long-term project that needs complete buy-in from both of you to succeed.
As much as possible, your partner should be exposing your nephew to the idea of difference, teaching him that it's OK to notice that other people are different than him, but that he still needs to treat them with kindness and respect.
There are so many more resources available today to help children learn about these matters, from books and films to websites dedicated to help you discuss these issues in an age-appropriate way.
Books like Paws, Claws and More, What's for Lunch? and My Daddy's A Mummy are a great way to start these conversations and to help introduce your nephew to these ideas in a way that is accessible for him. Talk to your local librarian for more recommendations.
The best way for him to learn to trust you is through spending time with you, drowning out the hateful ideas he's been taught through real, lived experience of being safe and happy in the company of people in the community. Make sure to set time aside for all three of you to spend time together, doing activities your nephew will enjoy.
Of course, his exposure to the creature community shouldn't start and end with you. If you can, consider getting him involved in mixed genus groups where he can meet liminal children his own age. It might be a bit of an adjustment for him, but it will a huge boon to him in the long run.
Finally, please consider seeking out some additional support for yourself during this process. This is a difficult, highly emotional situation, and you need to find people who you can talk to about it beyond your partner, whether that's to talk through possible solutions or just to vent occasionally.
Fortunately, reader, if there's one thing children are built for, it's learning. It will take time and emotional commitment, but with a little effort, I think you and your partner will be able to teach your nephew a kinder way of looking at the world.
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Hello, I am being chased by the bell-voiced, red-eared hounds of the Wild Hunt and their cruel yet beautiful Gentry masters. Lost my protective iron amulet half a mile back in a thorn bush. Usual remedy of salt, rowan, ash not available due to to running for my life. I have a programming final tomorrow and this is really cutting into my study time. How can I escape them alive and whole? Answer is time sensitive.
I consulted with the station manager on this and she made the following suggestions:
Turn your coat inside out
Play the sound of church bells on your phone as loud as you can
Change your name. No paperwork required (this is magic, after all) but your dedication to the new name must be utterly sincere and you must have every intention of continuing to use if/when you survive this encounter.
She also suggests letting yourself be captured and simply talking your way out of the predicament. Given the presence of the bell-voiced, red-eared hounds and knowing their (and their masters') propensity to “bite first, ask questions later”, I cannot encourage this as a course of action.
Good luck, reader. And in the future, might I suggest you plan your study schedule a little more wisely? The night before an exam is best spent getting a good night's sleep, confident in the work you've put into learning the course material well beforehand.
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Um, hi. I'm human, and not a regular listener, so apologies if I'm overstepping, but I asked a friend of mine for help with this already. He said it was above his paygrade and to ask you.
So, like I said, I'm human, and so are my parents, grandparents, and pretty much all my family. And for the first ten years of my life, I thought my sister was too. When she was sixteen, she started wearing long pants and hats all the time, and we all thought it was a fashion choice. A weird one, but at least she wasn't trying to dye her hair with Kool-Aid or pierce her ears with a sewing needle and an ice cube. But then the hat came off on accident. And then my parents saw her horns. I still remember the way they yelled at her before they kicked her out. I still remember the way I just sat on the stairs, being scared for my big sister but not wanting to interfere because what if our parents turned on me, as well?
I recently moved to the city for work. It's a nice place, and there's a park near my flat. There's this woman who walks her dog in the evenings through the park, and by "this woman" I mean my sister. Well, I haven't actually spoken to her about it, but my sister has a rather distinctive birthmark on her left cheek, shaped kind of like a crescent moon. The woman does too. Her hair is shorter, her horns are longer, and she's got a tail, but there's no way she isn't my sister.
I want to reach out to her, I really do. But I'm scared of what she'll think of me. I didn't help her back when I was ten, and I can't fully blame myself for that - I was ten. But even now, I haven't cut off my parents for what they did to my sister. I still go to family dinner with them every other Sunday. They were horrible to her and I'll never forgive them for that, but they're my parents and I still love them.
Is there a way I can ever get my big sister back?
I first want to reassure you that you're perfectly welcome here, reader. You aren't the first sapio to write in to us, not by a long shot, and I sincerely hope you won't be the last.
I also want to take a moment to address a rather throw-away comment in your letter. You say you “can't fully blame yourself” for not acting in your sister's interests when you were a child. Reader, I don't see that you can blame yourself at all. I hope you can find a way to work through any lingering feelings of guilt about what happened back then.
As to your question, I think you need to think very carefully about what you want to gain from reaching out to your sister, and how you will feel if your attempts to reconnect don't go as well as you would hope. There are a few questions I'd like you to consider before making any attempts to reach out.
Your sister has built an entire life for herself independent of you and your parents. Are you able to meet her in that life, and take her as she is – whoever she is, now? Or is some part of you hoping she will slot simply and unproblematically back into your life?
You say you want “your big sister back”. I'm sorry but the person who was your sister when you were 10 simply doesn't exist any more, any more than your 10 year old self does. She has grown and changed, and you need to be sure you want to meet the woman she's become, not only the memory of the girl she was.
I also encourage you to reflect on whether you're ready for the reality of being a sibling to someone in the community. You were raised by people so entrenched in anti-creature beliefs that they abandoned their own child when they discovered her liminal nature. It takes time and effort to be able to show up for your friends and family in the creature community without trailing those ideas in with you.
If, after careful reflection, you decide you still want to reach out to her, I recommend giving her as much room as possible. Approaching her while she's walking her dog is one thing, but that is not the time to spring an entire reconciliation on her. You can introduce yourself, and either give her your contact details or write what you want to say in a letter for her to read when she is emotionally prepared.
I understand that you love your parents, and are able to remain in a relationship with them despite their social and political views. That isn't a failing on your part – it's the reality of love. We all have to make our own minds up about what we are willing to tolerate, and how, and when, and from whom. Your sister also has the right to decide who she shares her life with – even if that decision is hurtful to you.
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[question blatantly copied from a Liminal Studies homework assignment, even including what format the answer needs to be submitted in]
[curt response about the need to take responsibilty for your own learning and to decide whether you want the benefits of your education enough to do the work of earning them, and if not, the importance of finding your own path in life instead of dull-wittedly going along with the majority with neither success nor satisfaction]
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My house is haunted.
That's not the problem, I don't mind the occasional ghost in the window and I've never liked the idea of spending so much time alone at home, so there's always the company of knowing that something is sleeping in the attic, right above me every night.
It's comforting, really, but I have a problem.
Of the many people who died here, there is one in particular. She drowned in the bathtub and, despite being able to move around the house, she always manifests herself when I decide to have a relaxing bath.
Which is embarrassing, to say the least and I find very disrespectful to my privacy. I tried to explain the situation to her, but she didn't seem to understand why it bothered me so much for her to appear while I'm naked, in the middle of soaping.
Suggestions?
(I don't intend to consider exorcism. It's against my religion.)
I'm very pleased to hear you aren't considering an exorcism, reader. Even setting aside the various religious prohibitions against the practice, non-consensual phasmic relocation is never an acceptable solution, and it is a damning indictment of the state of liminal liberation in this part of the world that it remains legal in England and Wales.
To your specific concern, I'm afraid you are fighting a losing battle if you hope to get your ethereal housemate to really understand why her presence during your baths unnerves you.
It is often difficult for non-corporeal people to apprecaite the particular concerns of embodied people, especially if those concerns are not directly related to immediate physical safety.
The longer a person is incorporeal, the less pressing these matters feel - and this is without even touching upon how varied cultural expecations are around nudity and privacy, even among the embodied.
Rather than trying to convince your housemate of why her presence is upsetting, concentrate on the simple fact that it is, and that you have the right not to be routinely and unnecessarily upset in your own home. She need not understand your boundaries to respect them, after all.
You might also explore why she feels drawn to manifest during your baths, and whether there is some other way you could help her to meet those needs.
She might be content with you running the bath for her once a week without actually getting in, for example. Or you might set time aside to listen to her discuss what happened to her, bearing witness to what happened to her in a rather less literal manner.
There is a chance she will be either unable or unwilling to respect these boundaries, however. The impulses and compulsions experienced by the vitally challenged can be profoundly powerful, and the gratification of these impulses altogether too satisfying to resist.
If negotiation and compromise are not sufficient, there is nothing wrong with taking more practical measures to protect your privacy. Natural rosemary bath oil or a sage candle will create a temporary, localised barrier against any unwanted phasmic guests, and are no more harmful or offensive than placing a sturdy lock on the bathroom door.
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Hi, we are several hundred rats. More accurately, I am a rat, writing on behalf of my several hundred friends, who are also rats.
It's pretty good, being rats, certainly compared to all the nonsense sapios and other bipeds have to deal with. Like knees, and dentist appointments. Recently, though, we've run into a problem. It's very common for sapios to mistake us for a multi-coporeal entity or a collective intelligence or something of that nature. You know, quote-unquote hive minds. Ignoring the fact that most hives don't actually work like that and the way that the common vernacular exposes the inherent sapionormative biases of the modern social system, it usually isn't a problem. One of us corrects them, the human reacts however they react, no big deal. Their reactions are on them, not our problem.
I'm being asked to add that it's a little sad that the humans don't have the close social bonds that could be mistaken for that kind of thing. So now I have. And now they're discussing whether it's sad or just the nature of the human condition. I'm going to keep writing while they're not trying to co-author this letter.
Well, about three years ago, a colony of cerebrachnids moved in next door with their host body. We don't need to tell you, of course, that brain spiders are actually a collective intelligence. Almost all of us have been of great terms with them since day one. It's nice having someone around who can sympathize with how sapios view us. Rats and spiders, right?
Turns out that they've thought we were some sort of multi-coporeal entity this whole time. It came up last week when some of us were visiting for tea. They've thought for years that we were some manner of genus similar to them, and have just been too polite to ask what we are. I, the rat doing the typing, wasn't there, but the ones who were there all agree that our neighbor got a little weird about it, and they're a lot less overtly friendly since then.
We can't agree if they're feeling awkward, or if they're maybe reevaluating the whole friendship in the light of how we have less in common with them than they thought.
Any advice? Do we just pretend it didn't happen and go on like normal?
Thank you for getting touch, reader – or should I say, readers? I'm extremely heartened to hear how healthy your collective attitudes are to the misconceptions people have about multi-corporeal entities and collective intelligences. I'm also pleased that you recognise your own boundaries in managing other people's expectations and reactions to your lived reality.
That said, I don't think there's any risk of your overstepping those boundaries by reaching out to this neighbour and clearing the air about their misconception. I understand you don't want to take on more than your share of the emotional work. But frankly, simply being aware of that as a potential issue is generally enough to stop it from happening.
There might be any number of reasons for your neighbours' sudden standoffishness. They might be embarrassed by their mistake, or feeling foolish for misunderstanding your nature. Or they might be disappointed at the loss of what they assumed was a friendship built on commonality of experience. The fact is, you won't know until you talk to them.
Invite them over for tea and let them know how much you've missed them. Emphasise how much you all value your relationship with them, and that you're keen that this misunderstanding should be set aside.
I would also take the time to stress how much you do have in common, despite these differences. You may not share the same kind of consciousness as them, but there has been enough shared between you to sustain years of friendship – not only shared interests and talking points, but also deeper commonalities around how sapios treat your genuses.
I don't think anything will be gained by making them feel shamed or punished, especially if they were acting out of nothing more malicious than embarrassment. Give them a little grace, and take the time to clear the air between you properly. Then, with any luck, you'll all be able to shrug this moment off as nothing but an awkward bump in the otherwise smooth road of friendship.
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You say that when I open my claws, stretched wide for you to hold, you gonna look me into my millions of eyes and say I was just another creature?
Everyone wants to be a monster fucker
No one wants to be a monster lover
One of the benefits of moving into the online space to answer the community's questions is that we are no longer restricted by Ofcom's guidelines on potentially offensive language in broadcasting.
After all, circadian diversity in the creature community meant that, unlike sapio-centric broadcasters, we could not be sure there weren't young creatures listening. Indeed, we had a number of letters from younger listeners, proving our caution to be well-placed.
In this new, online space, we might be a little more free with our language. Still, I would feel uncomfortable continuing without acknowledging that the use of this language is still controversial and may be offensive to some readers.
To be clear, by using that language in my response, I am neither intending to affirm its appropriateness nor condemn its use. My personal feelings on the term are not relevant here. What matters is that this is the language you, reader, have used about yourself, and so it feels correct for me to use the same terms.
It is perfectly reasonable for you to want to be loved as a monster, with a love that explicitly and enthusiastically embraces your monstrosity. You deserve better than having your identity reduced, either to something more palatable or to a sexual fetish.
Unfortunately, there are no certainties in finding people who will be able to respect and celebrate your monstrosity in the way you deserve.
Certain subcultures have something of a reputation for being more accepting of people who identify as monsters specifically – the monster punk scene springs to mind, or more radical monstrous liberation movements that reject the perceived assimilationist tendencies of mainstream “creature rights” politics.
However, these spaces can also be abused by so-called “monster hunters” – sapios whose appreciation for non-sapio features crosses the line into outright fetishisation. You might find more success limiting your romantic liaisons to others who identify as monsters, or even those who identify specifically as “monster for monster” or “M4M”.
I wish there was more tangible advice I could give here, reader. Above all, I want to reaffirm that you have every right to identify as a monster, and to have that identity celebrated by people who love you just as much as they want to fuck you.
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