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petefromarma · 3 months

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Dont get me wrong but that course of events you laid out sounds like a mostly good thing? Gabe saying anything even kinda resembling an apology is already better than the Absolutely Nothing I was expecting

i’m putting this under a cut as it’s long

yeah i mean i do think them donating to a relief org would be the absolute best thing possible bc like as of rn nothing abt this is materially helping palestinians. it’s all just noise which honestly i probably shouldn’t be contributing to bc i always knew this was going to happen and i’ve always known what pete and gabe are like. i’ve also always known what the other three are like but pete and gabe are the only ones who have done and said things prior to this incident (other than being silent) irt palestine that warranted outright criticism. anyway my main problem rn is w gabe’s statement.

the reason i’m unimpressed w it is bc i feel like it’s smth either he or an intern paraphrased in like two minutes (again, always knew this was going to be the response if any), and doesn’t address what the majority of the problem was imo, which was that he was parroting blood libel propaganda put out by the israeli govt re oct 7th. i haven’t gone and looked at the post myself recently, only seen screenshots of his comments, so idk if he took that part down, but that to me is the greatest issue. i never had a problem w him mourning the civilian casualties/hostages of oct 7th.

like addressing the discontent at all IS a good thing but i don’t believe his comment covers anything that he actually needed to apologize for and i’ve already seen teenage westerners who clearly learned abt palestine for the first time like. five months ago. trying to speak on this situation with authority that is not earned and not deserved.

and i’d like to be clear and say that i don’t believe all or even most blunders re saying something ignorant online require a full apology; i think that in most cases, deleting whatever was said is enough. i don’t think pile ons or bullying are conducive to rehabilitation or a change in behavior. however, to me, this is a special situation in which i believe a full retraction is necessary bc as i said before, he was spreading israeli govt propaganda.

none of what he said was new to me either. i know he’s the descendant of holocaust survivors, and more than that, i know his family had to flee europe and later uruguay. i know that like many jewish families do, his parents kept a box in their home in nyc filled with their passports and valuables in case they needed to get out of the country in a hurry; he needs to realize that this and so much worse is the reality that palestinins are living every single day.

the israeli govt preys upon and exploits the generational trauma of jewish individuals/families/communities in order to sow fear, terrorize palestinians, and further the colonization of palestinian land; i have complete understanding of how he’s been radicalized to this point, but it doesn’t excuse what he’s said and done and i think the only real way of fixing this is putting his money where his mouth is and making a public donation. again i’m not demanding anything of him, i’m not saying this will or won’t happen, i’m just saying what i think SHOULD be done and what would be the most effective from a harm reduction standpoint. can he come back from being radicalized to the point he was/is? i don’t know. i’d like to think so. all i know is that that statement didn’t address what i think it should have addressed IF it was supposed to be considered at all meaningful and i think the way ppl have been reacting to it is inappropriate.

anyway, sidebar bc i’m going to attempt to stop talking about this after this post and go back to focusing on initiatives that actually benefit ppl in palestine rn, but i think fans (who are not palestinian) who were shocked by this were living in a fantasy world and i think the way those fans esp those on twt have reacted toward meredith has been abhorrent. as i said a lot of this has just been noise rather than any action that is meaningful in any way and i think that while we should be realistic abt what we are going to get from them we should also be able to acknowledge where any actions of theirs are lacking.

#also if anyone has a problem w me using the term blood libel i’m not sorry bc it is what the israeli govt is doing

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desafinado · 1 year

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ahh congrats on 200!! once you’re less busy with work (rip) could i please request a school/uni au where reader is a secret admirer for any characters of your choice? maybe they’re part of the same friend group, or they share similar classes? oh or maybe they consult/ask the reader for advice about the letters or smt? i don’t mind the format btw! thank you so so so much:D

(ps. idk if you keep anons but if you do, could i be 🍁 anon~?)

°｡⋆ thoma, ayato x reader (wc: 2,129) °｡⋆ thoma relationship w/ reader a bit interdependent, swearing, fluff, banter note: omg yes i love this idea!! also yes you could be 🍁 anon!! and you'd be my vv first anon so omg yay welcome!!! and hope you enjoy ^^ (also chose thoma and ayato bc of those school uniform collab thing, it was what first came to mind)

ayato ♡

you could not ignore his presence the moment he entered the room. it was as if the mere presence of him warranted trumpets.

you were either enamored by him or scared to make even the slightest eye contact with him; his reputation as a wealthy heir and supposed poised nature preceded him.

you were in a rare minority though, that minority being almost infuriatingly annoyed with how everyone treated him like a prince. you didn’t care about him for the most part, but it was annoying to hear his name in every conversation right before class started.

that was, of course, he was randomly assigned to be your partner for a term long project.

“hmm, i don’t believe we’ve been acquainted. kamisato ayato, and you?”

oh brother, this guy stinks (/j) but all those inner thoughts you’ve had making fun of him were quickly meeting its end.

he was polite enough; teased you a bit, but nothing you couldn’t handle. it was actually fun to see his reaction to you teasing him back.

“you know, i believe you’re the first person to call me a piece of shit… well to my face at least.”

he was more self-aware than you thought, good company too. he seemed to be a bit more of himself around you too, and you appreciated that.

your friendship went way beyond just study sessions and meetings, opting to hangout just because you liked each other’s presence, isn’t that neat?

eventually, he’d also open up more emotionally. telling you his woes, the pressure of being the heir to the kamisato business, caring for his younger sisters, and of course, general university/college student stress.

you heard him out every time, and always knew how to help him get out of his head.

“wanna come over and cry it out over som–” “yes.”

you had realized it when he slept over one night, he had fallen asleep on your lap, snoring quietly. you were gently stroking his cheek, admiring his soft skin, how kissable his lips were.

kissable lips? now, wanting to kiss them could imply a multitude of things, but that coupled with how much you cared for him, and the way your heart fluttered around his small acts of appreciation… you had fallen in love with him, hard.

after that “small” epiphany, you tried to bury it down, down deep in the recesses of your mind.

everyone must’ve had at least a moment in which they thought they were in love with a dear friend, right?

that was what you told yourself everyday for the past two months.

you tried to keep it buried, but the pounding of your heart only got stronger each time you were left alone with him. at nights, your thoughts would linger on what it would be like to take him out to dinner, send cute couple texts, and all of those domestic activities.

but for now, you could only stay where you were, a friend and a partner (in class).

it was valentine’s day, and you both were stuck in the library trying to make some progress on your term project. it’s not like you had any better plans anyways, you’re just hoping ayato didn’t mind.

“what about this journal? it correlates with our topic.”

he sends you a link of the article in question and you skim through it; ayato is watching intently for any sort of response. you hum in approval, looking up at him from your laptop.

“i think we can use it, yeah. honestly, i just want this done with… and anyways, we can just do improvements on the final stretch.” you sigh a little, thinking of all the work left to do after this particular stage of the project. he raises an eyebrow with an all-knowing smirk.

“hmm? why in a rush? you have a valentine’s date perhaps?” you shut your laptop, sighing even more dramatically. “okay, one, you know i’m a loser, and two, maybe i'm just tired, dumbass.” ayato giggles at your misery, cleaning up his own things.

“you’re not a complete loser, despite what you might think.” he mumbles almost inaudibly, but you certainly heard it. it takes you aback and sets your heart ablaze, sure, but you shrug it off and try changing the topic.

“what about you? you surely must have some event at the very least. aren’t you part of like three different organizations?”

he shakes his head, picking up his bag. “ok yes, but i actually don’t really care for the holiday that much. it's just an excuse for couples to show off, is it not?” now, that elicits a chuckle from you. “aw, really? maybe you’re just bitter you don’t have anyone to spend it with.”

he stops dead in his tracks, looking up at you; he’s rolling his eyes, and you’re laughing at your successful attempt in throwing him off.

“oh, whatever. it’s not like you have anyone either.”

“yeah, but at least i’m not the valentine’s equivalent of the grinch”

“hey! i never said–”

you both earn a shush from another nearby table, stopping your little squabble. you both decide to leave the area before continuing your conversation any further. once you’re both out, ayato takes the chance to continue what he was saying.

“as i was saying, i don’t detest the idea of love itself. i just see no point in celebrating such a holiday when you could be showing your lover how much you love them everyday.”

he had a point, and it was actually pretty poetic and romantic.

“okay, well that’s besides the point, valentine’s day is still a pretty cute excuse to go all out.” you swoon, thinking up the most romantic scenarios. a subtle smile rests on ayato’s face before he playfully shakes his head. “to each their own, i guess. just know that if it were me, i’d never let a day go by in which you aren’t aware of how much i love you.”

…

freudian slip, he was distracted by your cute face and the way it lit up at the thought of romance. you smirked at the turn of events though.

“me?”

“i mean… yes. i-i do wish to treat you as s-such… but i didn’t mean for it to–”

“i like you too, ayato. i... i've been waiting to say that for a while now.”

“oh… really?”

“yes, now take me out! you said you would treat me as such did you not?"

thoma ♡

it was your first few days on campus, and you were overwhelmed by everything. so many people, new places, and you all by your lonesome.

you weren’t a sociable person and it was tiring, you felt your head pounding at the thought of all the ways every little thing could go wrong.

you sat alone at lunch, trying to handle your oncoming headache, when someone approached you from behind.

“hey, uh are you alright?”

you were stunned to say the least, and turning around to see him only intensified that surprise.

“oh, h-hi.”

he introduced himself as thoma, he had the sweetest, kindest, most sunshine filled smile you had ever laid eyes on; you felt comfortable in his friendly aura, but you couldn’t help but feel a bit anxious talking to someone as gorgeous as him.

his eyes shined every time he chuckled, and you swooned in response, letting him steer the conversation away from your worrisome thoughts.

eventually, he was able to talk you into going to the uni’s clinic, and he made sure to stick by your side until he was sure you were in safe hands.

“now, i’ve got a class, but this isn’t goodbye, right? next time we meet, i hope to see you in a much better state.”

he was so… gr. you’d rather him the one taking care of you, cuddles, handholding, and all, but yes, you definitely wanted to see him again.

over time, you’d run into him more often, text him every now and then, even eat lunch together with his friends.

he was such a delight to be around, you had any question about events, rules, recommendations, literally whatever and he’d have the best advice.

you’d spend hours sharing stories and random opinions, you even found yourself skipping a class or two just to spend an extra hour with him.

he took care of you so well, but it was also a somewhat somber reminder that you were just a friend to him, someone he took care of. you definitely didn’t want him to see you as some sort of younger sibling.

that was when you took it upon yourself to really lean more into the uni life. you tried going to parties, joining clubs, even going on a few dates.

at this point, you weren’t so sure anymore if you were doing this for the experience or to run away from your feelings.

you found yourself blowing off hangouts with thoma in favor of some random frat party or blind date. even for lunch, you’d excuse yourself, saying you had to study or get some rest before your next class.

you couldn’t hold him off forever though, a simple text was all it took.

“we need to talk. meet you at that dog cafe by the flower shop in 30?”

“thoma?”

you looked like a corpse fresh out of the grave; your skin looked like it desperately needed some sun, and dark spots were evident under your tired eyes. thoma took your hand and guided you to a booth with some drinks and food. it was definitely tempting.

“we haven’t hung out in a while, i’m worried about you, you know?”

his frown hurt you like never before, but you knew it was only because of his concern. you took a seat across from him, slowly nodding.

“i know, i’m sorry. i’ve just been trying to expand my horizons? i don’t actually know anymore.” you sigh knowing you can’t even lie to him, he always sees things through. you took a sip of the drink he had ordered for you. he looked deep in thought before speaking up.

“then, why not talk to me about it? was it something i said? did you…” his voice is strained as he voices out the next words. “have you been making new friends?” there's an encouraging smile on his face, but you know it's only for show, for you.

“i tried, but no, not really. nobody compares to you, thoma.” your eyes meet his as you say his name. you didn’t mean to, but you wanted to be sincere. thoma, in return, blushed profusely, not expecting you to express such sentiments.

“ah, really?” the poor boy is trying to calm his racing heart and focus on you. “i– that’s nice to know that you think of me that way– n-not to say making new friends is bad! i just thought you had forgotten about me.”

“how could i? when all i could think about was coming back to you.”

“wait, what do you–”

“i like you, thoma. i love the way the light hits your face, i love how thoughtful you are about everyone, i love all the nonsensical conversations we’ve had. the only thing i hate about you is how much of an effect you have on me; how being away from you makes me sad, and being with you fills me with an uncontrollable rush of adrenaline… and, and even then, it's only my fault.”

your eyes closed shut the whole way, you can’t bear to see the pity on his face. you knew it was bad, you knew doom was imminent, but the only thing that hurt more than avoiding him was lying to him.

“i like you too… in that very same way, and i apologize if i ever made you feel like i didn't.” his hand slowly rested on top of yours from across the table. your eyes squinted slightly to see his face; there was a soft blush dusting his cheeks, and emerald eyes gazing back at you.

you slowly shake your head before replying. “you never did, you made me feel at home. i thought you’d only see me as some bothersome thing you had to care for, so i wanted to prove to you, and i guess myself, otherwise.”

his smile only widens, as he leans over the table to give you a kiss on the cheek. your eyes are fully open now, letting go of his hand to feel the warmth he left on your cheek.

“you were never a burden, if anything, my love for you sorta just overflowed that it manifested in those ways, me being a mother hen basically.” he chuckled, taking your hand in his. you nodded, focusing your gaze back on him.

“but now, i want you to trust me, let me love you, is that okay?”

divider: henri le sidaner | requests are open!! please do not repost on other sites

#thoma #ayato #thoma x reader #ayato x reader #genshin x reader #genshin imagines #genshin impact #fluff

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wooahaes · 2 years

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cold hands, warm heart

pairing: vampire!junhui x gn!reader

prompt: hey remember when i made this post? so do i lol.

word count: 2.1k~

warnings: reader gets caught in a storm and breaks into jun’s house. kind-of pissed reader at their friends. short-lived fears of being murdered. vampire jun being clueless about technology. mentions of vampire minghao as a doctor [heavily implied jun has been around a lot longer than hao]. no drugs depicted but mentions of drugs/dealers in reference to jun calling dr. xu his “dealer” (bc he deals him bags of blood). blood mentions. also reader suffers from hypothermia and jun saves their ass. also like no proofreading i just want to post this rn.

daisy’s notes: no promises on a sequel of just reader n vernon taking jun to stuff at night/on cloudy days, but know the idea lives rent free in my head.

It was a dark and stormy night, and you were a pissed idiot lost in the woods.

All you had meant to do was go on one little nature hike. Something about getting more in touch with nature, just existing, yadda yadda--you’d fight every single person who told you it’d be a good idea to get away from “technology” and “life” this way. Some of them could absolutely demolish you, but you’d go down swinging at the very least--Seungcheol’s buff arms meant nothing to a pissed-off person. Your phone was dead, your belongings completely soaked (to say nothing about you--the rain was cold as fuck), and you were pretty sure your flashlight was going to die too to add a cherry on top of this fucking tragedy of a day. They’d find you eventually, you were sure--Vernon, your roommate, knew approximately where you were and that you wouldn’t have gone too far. If anything, help was probably coming in the next few hours.

But it was still fucking cold and you were miserable. The pains of not having a portable charger (Seungkwan borrowed it and Soonyoung lost it, the assholes). Even then, you were sure your phone was probably fucked from the water.

The only light at the end of the tunnel? An abandoned looking manor a little further up the path you had stumbled onto. The gates looked a little rusted, but you were sure you could pull them open with a hard enough tug. If you could break in, you could at least squat there until the rain stopped. It was better than being stuck out in the rain, at least.

While the front door was locked, you managed to find a window that was slightly ajar. It was annoying as hell to have to hoist yourself through it, the window a smidge too tall for you to comfortably do it--but, fuck, you would rather deal with throwing all three thousand pounds of your soaking wet clothes and belongings and body through a window than stay outside for another minute. Joshua Hong was going to get his ass kicked after all of this. You’d rank everyone mentally later on a scale from “could kill me” to “I could take them” once you got some rest.

Except... this place was definitely not abandoned. The outside sure as fuck was, but there was electricity. The study you had thrown yourself into had books that you were pretty damn sure came out within the past few years, along with a fair amount that were old enough to not warrant a title. Must be some sort of collector.

Oh, shit, that meant someone could call the cops.

You threw off your bag nonetheless. Maybe if you explained the situation (rain bad, might pass out if you didn’t start getting warmer soon because your fingers were going numb from the cold), whoever lived here would let you go with a “don’t come back, idiot,” once the rain was over. If they did, you could forgive the tacky decorations that were definitely not from this century. Despite the modern additions to the home (the books you’d seen, for one, and the working electricity, and you were pretty sure you saw a television in one of the rooms you peeked into), whoever lived here was apparently fond of Victorian decor. You couldn’t blame them, but they could at least tie things together a little more.

You pushed a door open and came into a dining room with a small spread along the table. Nothing too huge like you’d expect from lavish vampire novels where the idiot protag (you, in this case) showed up to a vampire’s house without realizing it, but food nonetheless. But you almost didn’t notice the man on the other side of the table, who had been pouring wine until you opened the door. He softly swore under his breath as he proceeded to directly spill it onto his hand and the tablecloth, before he looked back up at you.

“Who are you and how did you get here?”

You took one full step before slipping on the puddle of water dripping off of you, and immediately felt pain spiral through your body. Almost too fast to be real, the man had crossed the room, coming to check you over.

His hands were colder than yours, but his eyes were warm as he gently began to check you over. “Is it raining...?” He looked up to where the curtains were drawn in front of the windows. “You’re lost, then...”

You nodded. “It’s cold--”

“Oh!” He was already pulling you to your feet, “You’re freezing... Here,” he helped you toward the lit fireplace, not too far from where he was sitting. “Don’t sit too close,” he told you, pulling a spare chair over. He brushed the dust off of it before pushing you to sit down. “If you warm up too fast, you’ll go into shock. Let me bring you something dry to wear.”

He was being too nice now. He went from rightfully offended to concerned and caring, and you were starting to suspect you might actually get murdered. If you were going to get murdered, maybe he’d at least wait long enough for you to feel your fingers first. It’d give you a fighting chance, and you sure as hell weren’t going to go down without a fight. Yet the man soon enough returned to you with loose clothing that you were sure were both not his and picked out in a large enough size that they’d fit you loosely.

“I’ve had a lot of guests a long time ago,” he told you, setting down the clothing. “If this doesn’t fit, I should have something that does...”

You had to wonder what kind of guests showed up here when the outside of his house looked abandoned. The man disappeared, muttering something about having towels--that you should change while he fetched them for you. Despite how much your body didn’t want to move, you pushed yourself to change while he was gone, moving as quickly as you could. Minutes after you finally set back down with a groan, warmth slowly returning to your body, he returned--and you realized how he must have been waiting longer, just to give you your privacy.

“I called my friend,” he told you, draping a towel around your body, and then a blanket he had draped over his shoulder. “Are you able to swallow? You seem alert...” He crouched down, watching you a moment longer. “He said you should be fine with warm drinks...”

“Is he a doctor?” You stared at him warily.

And yet he smiled at your question. “He is,” he said. “He works in the hospital here,” he sat down next to you. “I’ll have to ask him if you’ll be fine with food...”

This man was way too friendly and helpful to not be planning to kill you, probably. Then again... if he wanted to harm you, why help you at all?

“I don’t have a need for it, so I don’t know what hu--you would need right now...”

You stared at this man. What the fuck was that supposed to mean.

He changed the topic. “Junhui,” he told you after a moment. “My name is Wen Junhui.” It was something he took pride in, at least, considering the way he straightened up ever-so-slightly. If you had to admit it, it was a little cute, but...

You blurted out the first thing that came to mind, “Dude, are you, like, a vampire or some shit? Your hands are freezing.”

Which, admittedly, not also the smartest thing you’d done. You’d done a lot of stupid things that day and you could maybe blame it on the mild hypothermia.

He blinked at you. “You didn’t notice...” He said, and you just realized that this bitch had fangs.

Again, not your smartest moment. Or hour. Or day, for that matter. Might as well mark the beginning of “not your finest hour” at when you agreed to go fuck around in the woods “to get in touch with nature” after Joshua pitched the idea to you, the endpoint yet-to-be-seen.

“Maybe you’re more sick than I thought,” he frowned. He pressed the back of his hand against your face--just enough to gauge your body temperature before he pulled it away. “Most people notice sooner.”

Oh, great, and now you were an idiot in the eyes of the pretty vampire man. “I’ve got a lot on my mind.”

He giggled at you. “That’s okay,” he said. “That’s why I live out here, by the way. It’s actually quite shady--I can go outside during the day and not burst into flames.”

You raised a brow. “That’s real?”

“It takes a little time, but it is.” He pulled his knees in, looking at you in the cutest goddamn manner--how the hell was this man a vampire? Weren’t they supposed to be creepy? He just seemed glad to have some company. “If it’s cloudy, I can go outside for longer. It helps when I have to go into town.”

“Don’t take this the wrong way,” you shifted a little closer to the fire, “but, uh... Why do you go into town?”

“I like cooking.”

“But you don’t need food.”

“I like doing it,” he said. “So I have to get ingredients.”

“Why not just get them delivered?”

“You can do that?!” He stared at you, immediately picking up his phone. “I’m not good with technology,” he said to you, and turned his phone to show you texts between him and someone named “dr.xu [dealer].” Junhui pushed his hair back from his face, “Dr. Xu helps.”

You took his phone from him, looking over auto-corrected texts that this doctor man was somehow able to decipher. It probably came with knowing Junhui, if you had to guess. “Why does it say he’s your dealer?”

“Because he deals me blood.”

Oh. Oh no, he’s obliviously cute, too. “Maybe you shouldn’t call him your dealer.”

He blinked at you, head titled. “What?”

“Just... Just don’t call him your dealer. People will think you’re talking about drugs.” You started to look for a weather radar before you showed him the wonders of modern technology and things like grocery deliveries. The storm wasn’t going to clear up for a few more hours, from what you could tell.

“Oh.” He nodded. “I see.” He paused. “What happened to your phone?”

You frowned. “Probably destroyed by water damage. I’ll have to clean it with alcohol.”

“Why not rice?”

“That is bullshit and you shouldn’t believe anyone who says it now,” you pointed at him. “My friend had to get it fixed after rice got stuck in the charging port and it cost him more than cleaning it normally would have been.”

Junhui nodded, making a mental note of it. “You’re smart,” he said. “I think Dr. Xu said something similar.”

Something told you that Dr. Xu was likely the one keeping Junhui relatively modern, in terms of technology. The food on the table looked delicious, but everything from the last twenty years or so... probably went straight over Junhui’s head. It made you wonder how long he’d been around.

“So...” You hesitated for a moment. “Why do you need blood from Dr. Xu? Don’t you like.. feed on people?”

Junhui frowned. “Ah... It’s inconvenient. Most of my partners move on after a while. It’s draining. I don’t blame them,” he shrugged. “I’m used to it. The deal with Dr. Xu works better.”

“Is he your only friend?” You asked, immediately smacking yourself mentally for it.

He paused. “Maybe.”

“Maybe?”

“You could be my friend,” he said. “If you’d like.”

Something about the way he asked warmed your heart. That shy look on his face, the timid smile he was giving you... You had to wonder how long he had been mostly on his own. When Dr. Xu came into his life, who was in it before then...

“I think I’d like that,” you said. Something about this pretty vampire man was endearing. Maybe it was how genuine he seemed to be after all: you stumbled into his home and he was here to take care of you, looking after you like he’d done it before. You introduced yourself at long last, watching the way his eyes lit up at the sound of your name.

He repeated it back, testing it on his own tongue. “It’s a pleasure,” he said to you with a smile. “It’s been a while since I’ve made a new friend.”

Well... You’d just have to fix that, wouldn’t you? You were sure that Vernon would like him--Vernon was into supernatural stuff. You’d just have to introduce him slowly before the enthusiast in him took over.

“Do you want to see the videos of cats that I found?”

... Okay, maybe you already like the cute vampire man a lot more than you thought. Hopefully this would be the start of something sweet.

general taglist: @wonuziex @twancingyunhao

#wooahaes.fic #seventeen imagine #seventeen x reader #seventeen x you #svt x reader #svt imagine #svt x you #seventeen fluff #junhui fluff #junhui x reader #junhui x you #wen junhui x reader #wen junhui x you #jun x reader #jun x you #jun fluff

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whatsaudreythinkingabout · 7 months

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i fucking hate being a hypochondriac. there are so many things i used to love to do as a kid or wanted to do in the future that now i’m terrified to do bc i learned there’s a risk (even a small one) that i’ll contract an incurable illness that i didn’t know about before & didn’t realize i contracted until it’s too late & the disease has already spread too far into my brain and I’ll die a slow, painful death because of a seemingly innocuous decision i made. used to love petting the stray cats that hung around my old apartment, now i’m scared i’ll get rabies without realizing it (not just from a bite or scratch; even from the minute possibility of contracting it through their fur if their infected saliva came into contact with it while they were grooming themselves). used to love swimming in the lake bc my (ex-)stepdad would take us there on the weekend, now i’m scared i’ll catch the brain-eating amoeba if even the smallest drop of freshwater goes up my nose. always wanted to learn how to make garlic confit bc it looks so delicious, now i’m too scared to bc any garlic-in-oil dish (if stored improperly) carries with it the risk of botulism & i don’t wanna take any chances. this is not exaggeration or sarcasm. i genuinely live in fear of these possibilities occurring every day.

and those are just (at least what i call) the big three; that’s not even mentioning things like heart attacks (one time i had my dorm call the paramedics for what turned out to be acid reflux, another time i went straight to the health center bc my arm was sore), strokes (every once in a while i smile in the mirror to make sure my face isn’t drooping on one side), cancer (ESPECIALLY skin & breast cancer; the scariest thing is that it comes in so many forms and can affect literally anyone, anytime, anywhere, in any part of the body), covid (which i’ve already had 3 times & fear the effects it could have on my brain), etc. i can’t even pop the pimples around my nose anymore (despite my absolutely debilitating dermatillomania; unstoppable force vs immovable object) bc apparently that area of your face is called the “triangle of death” bc there’s so many blood vessels there & if you pop it then it could cause an infection that spreads straight to the brain and (you guessed it!) kills you.

and part of me wants to reassure myself that it’s all in my head and that most afflictions like these are incredibly rare (at least the big three, the other ones are more common), but the other part of me knows that even if they are rare they aren’t to be fucked with and fears the 0.01% chance that it COULD happen and will happen the minute i let my guard down. and what of the girl who cried wolf? what if i keep worrying about it happening so much every time i think it could happen and every time it turns out to be nothing, and then the one time i second-guess myself thinking “it was nothing the last 50 times, why would it be anything now?” it ends up being something? or worse, what if i try to express this to someone else and they don’t believe me because i freaked out about it so many times already and every time it turned out to be nothing but this time it turns out to be something? i know very well the warning signs and that i should always go to the doctor if i suspect i might have contracted something life-threatening (ESPECIALLY one of the big three), i would NEVER downplay the severity of something as serious as one of these, but how do i know when something is truly serious enough to warrant a visit? am i just gaslighting myself? am i overthinking it, or am i right to be afraid? how do i know when it’s the right time to be afraid? how do i stop living in fear? do i even want to stop living in fear knowing what i know now, knowing that i was so much more reckless than i thought when i was younger and have only survived this long through sheer dumb luck? why must life be so cruel that even the smallest actions carry with them the smallest chance of an excruciating death? why can’t i have shit in detroit?

#audrey thoughts #vent #hypochondria #rabies #botulism #brain eating amoeba #heart attack #stroke #cancer #covid 19

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heretic-altias · 9 months

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FFXIVWrite Day 8 - Shed

A short little thing bc I wrote this at 1:30 am after coding most of the evening so I was a bit tired lol. Still got it done though! Pre HW Altais reflects on the direction of her life a little.

Don’t know my characters? Here’s a basic breakdown to help you out!

Altais held up a fallen scale, examining how it reflected the light. Truthfully, she was surprised to find it. Even when her scales had started to itch, she hadn’t expected that to happen. She hadn’t shed any scales since she was younger, it really only happened when one’s body shape changed enough to warrant it.

But it did make sense. Her life had changed drastically since joining Solar. How strange it was to always have more than enough to eat. She’d gained weight, and the new scales that replaced the fallen ones looked shinier somehow. She’d never even noticed they were dull in the first place.

Her scales weren’t the only thing to change though. She’d joined these people to get an understanding of her echo, with every intention to leave she’d learned all she could. And she’d fully expected that moment had come after the bloody banquet in Ul’Dah. But Akku had insisted they come here, to Camp Dragonhead, and that the others would be here. Altais hadn’t believed him. But they all were there. Not only that, but they’d been genuinely happy to see her again. Apparently they’d been looking for her. What a strange experience. She hadn’t known that kind of loyalty really existed. It was something worth thinking about while they waited for Haurchefant to get them into Ishgard.

And so she found herself shedding both scales and misconceptions. If these people wanted her so badly, she would stay. She didn’t really know why she felt that way. But it felt like the right thing to do. Even if it meant traveling into Ishgard, a city she knew would not be pleased to have an Au Ra like herself visiting.

Why she wanted to take that kind of risk just to follow these people, she still didn’t know. Perhaps she would find out.

She idly scratched some of the scales on her arm as she watched the stars out the window. Perhaps she could think about things more clearly if her shedding scales would stop itching.

#final fantasy xiv #ffxiv #ffxivwrite2023

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pepprs · 10 months

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likeeee i know i do this literally every month but it fills me with such despair. making this bullet points (cringe) bc it’s so long lol

first of all why do i live in a household where… like i get it i know it’s not good to over-rely on medication and pharmaceuticals but when we don’t use them or seek them out AT ALL except for emergencies and an emergency is only when you’re so sick or in pain that you cant function… except i have BEEN in so much pain i have been unable to function (e.g. bad cramps… and wisdom t**th pain…. and ear infections!!!) and my parents still hedged and stalled and delayed me from seeing a doctor and getting meds which made my nightmare oct 2021 ear infection worse and created complications i have to suffer the consequences of every day!!!!!! like when i don’t get to decide the goalposts and every month with my period im in pain that isn’t like… too SEVERE to function but certainly makes it hard. idk how to articulate it but like… when i don’t get to decide the goalposts. when i am made to doubt whether the goalposts are actually goalposts and whether im actually in “enough” pain to warrant taking “extreme” actions. that is very dangerous and a problem. it is not good to regularly suffer pain and to not have what i need to get through it. and be the only person i know who is dealing with that kind of thing like nobody else’s parents are like this 💀

SECOND of all… and this is something i have said before… if a huge portion of ppl on earth regularly experience this pain to various degrees of debilitation then why… like i know why. but why isn’t society set up to make it easier to experience it. to let you take what you need to experience it. like you can’t walk around and go to school / work with a heating pad. you can’t lie down with it or plug it in. there are strict attendance policies a lot of the time so if you come in late or miss a day you’re fucked (thankfully that’s not the case for me at work but it was when i was in school). it just sucks and is so fucking stupid. why isn’t it understood that some ppl need to take a break once a month to ride out the pain and discomfort and whatever and then return and be fine. why have to work through it. ugh

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blueradberry · 1 year

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Being a teenager and having anxiety and depression but not anxiety and depression bad enough to warrant the attention required to deal with it properly was fucking wild.

Like I had this old red journal that I used only to vent into and like, it had the likes of:

“I don’t want to participate in my own death but wouldn’t be opposed to dying right here and now spontaneously. But also that’s embarrassing this is so embarrassing I’m literally not even mentally I’ll.”

And this would happen nearly every day for years.

Anyways if anyone relates to this you do have a mental illness and you are valid. I’m sorry your being overlooked bc you know how to hide it really well but I’m proud of you for waking up everyday even though you wish you wouldn’t. I wish you peace, stranger.

#tw sui implied #tw sucidal ideation #vent #you are always surrounded by love please remember that #accept that #madinkdink

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cocksuki2 · 2 years

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i have opinions on the shit going on bc i think its very much a double sided blade. the convo that’s happening feels very,... idk very like... both sides are kinda saying a lot of stuff that isn’t entirely true.

i’m not gonna talk abt it on my main blog bc i admittedly haven’t had much time to read fics, though i do try and reblog them when i see them on my dash. i just... am not on the dash frequently enough to see them. so my opinion on this is rather useless but im going to give it anyway.

yes, a lack of interaction absolutely sucks ass. people should be reblogging and commenting on fics they enjoy because likes don’t do jack shit on this website. it is common sense to tell someone you liked something they made you if you liked it. if someone is reading fics... they should be giving them the attention that warrants the amount of effort the author put into it. fan spaces are a give and take and readers, to a degree, have a responsibility to the writer/artist/gif maker to do what they can in order to promote content they enjoyed. it’s meant to function like a circle that benfits everyone.

that being said... people are also not obligated to enjoy what it is writers post. yes, it is free. yes, it is accessible. yes, the author is skilled. none of those things mean that someone has to like every single thing someone thinks to post. none of those things mean that they have to like every piece of fanfiction or shitpost someone comes across. i personally think that not liking a piece is a good enough reason to not want to reblog it. same goes for people not giving a fuck about personal posts. they don’t have to care. i certainly don’t give a fuck if they care. but they shouldn’t be trying to DICTATE what people put on their own blogs. bc that’s a shitty thing to do. at the end of the day, people are going to do what they are going to do. if they wanna be cunts, they’re gonna act like cunts. but what comes out of this is what this convo is really (i think) about: respect.

it’s not about the number of notes (though sometimes it is), or about wanting to be popular, or about needing attention. it’s about feeling respected in a community that you had a hand in shaping. it’s about feeling like we belong in a corner of the internet that we provide a lot of content and fics for. no one wants to write for a fandom or in a place where they don’t feel welcome or respected, so why the fuck would someone stick around on a blog where they’re seen as a content machine and nothing more? why on god’s green earth would someone stay in a place where they’re expected to pump out content and then hear back absolutely nothing about it? why would anyone be okay with that? so no... you’re not obligated to care about what it is we as authors post. you’re not obligated to reblog fics you like if you don’t want to bc we can’t force you to do anything. but don’t complain when we try to tell you why that is so disheartening. make your choice on the matter and if that choice is choosing to not reblog or comment on fics that you enjoy and contribute to the fandom circle, then keep quiet and bite your tongue. if you have nothing to say when reblogging fics you like then you get nothing to say when your fav writers decide to leave.

ik it’s not exactly the “reblog writer’s fics or ill kill you” post that would match the current energy, but i think it’s worth thinking abt.

#cal.gen #discourse #bye ive been sitting on this #this also is less for me and more for others

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apolohgy · 3 years

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#an emptiness today !#i just here everyday and do nothing w my life huh.#and this can’t be imposter syndrome but i haven’t done anything in the first place to warrant feeling like a fraud ahshbsnsnsn #also i’m... trying to lose w****t and today my mom went to the store and before she left she asked me if i wanted a juice (that store has a #juice bar) and i said sure if it’s mango or something. they didn’t have that flower so she brought me a veggie/orange juice combo and i #tasted it and it was fine but i didn’t like it enough to finish so i said no thank you! someone else can drink it #there’s 5 people in our house so finding someone to finish it wouldn’t be a problem #but my older sister asked me if i wanted to switch w her (she had a diff flavor) and i tasted it #still didn’t like it and she was being a little pushy about it and i was like ‘why do you want me to drink this juice so bad’ and she goes #‘bc ma paid for them’ in a kinda defeated tone and i just ... UQWNNNSS!!!!!#i know it wasn’t her intention to ... bring up one of my sore spots about food but bc we were poor our whole lives this is what eating #was like!! not being allowed to leave the table until i finish - getting my plate cleared by an adult before being able to throw it away #being guilted for wasting money and food when we had so little and honestly i get it! my mom did the best she could raising 2 girls alone #but like... it’s taken me 24 years to realize i shouldn’t eat food if i don’t like it? that i’m allowed to not finish food if i’m full?#these are all normal things that i’m just now having to consciously remember when i eat #it’s like having an epiphany every time i realize these are normal things that everybody else does that my ass just clued into in 2020 #i know it’s not my mom or sister’s intention to guilt me that’s shit i have to work out on my own. but damn when does it end 😭#i feel guilty when i eat or cook in front of my family. i feel guilt when i don’t finish. when does it stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#anyways my eyes have tears now. it’s been a bad day. goodnight 😌#i know this is riddled w typos Welcome To My Twisted Mind #won’t be tagging this as m*** bc i don’t want any memories of this fuckass post!

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red-writes · 3 years

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soft yan! shinsou x chubby! reader

summary: you keep receiving these letters in your mailbox from an unknown person, somehow you find yourself slowly falling for the creepy admirer until one day they decide to reveal themselves to you in the worst way possible—by looming over you while you sleep.

warnings: yandere behavior, insecurities, light smut.

Boo’s note: hi okay, this is dedicated to the annie that asked me for a shinsou fic, tbh I didn’t really know what to make it about bc u didn’t specify but here I hope you like it *^* uhh it’s also unedited im sorrrrry

Everyday at 7:00 am, the mailman drops off mail. Everyday at 7:10 am you’re rushing downstairs after stuffing half a bagel in your mouth to retrieve the stack of envelopes from the mailbox. The letters started appearing a month ago, pretty purple envelopes sealed with a cat sticker were amongst your mail everyday. You picked out the purple one and dropped the other unimportant, plain white envelopes on the coffee table. You took a seat on the couch and hurriedly opened it up.

My dearest love,

Last night I had a dream about you. You’re perfect face was smiling at me, you called my name and even held your hand out to me. You were so perfect I woke up crying. The more time that passes, the more I find myself falling deeper and deeper in the never-ending ocean that is you. So deep, so warm, comforting and gentle. Do you think that maybe one day, we could be happy together? That we could live a life together somewhere peaceful where you have me and I have you and that’s it. To me, that sounds like heaven, a world where the only person I only ever see is you. You’re my everything, my reason to live, to breathe and to continue living in this grueling world. I hope the rest of your day is good, I hope you enjoy yourself at the party.

xoxo,

shin.

After reading you couldn’t help the hard pounding of your heart, it was unusual yes, but you found his fondness for you quite endearing. You clutched the letter and held it to your chest. While it was strikingly odd that he knew about tonight’s party, you didn’t mind. Up until now shin had been harmless, never saying or doing anything too weird or creepy, nothing to warrant you to visit the local police station. You refolded the letter and tucked it back inside of the envelope. Instead of mulling over small details, you needed to find something to put on tonight!

The party was in full swing by the time you arrived. It was a charity event for the company you worked for, everyone from the hero deku to chargebolt was in attendance. Big parties like this were not your scene but you had to go, your boss invited you personally and you didn’t want to let him down. You took a drink off of one of the tables and made your way to a less crowded corner of the room. You took rare sips of your champagne as you sighed. This place was definitely not your scene.

“You look fabulous tonight” you hear from beside you, you’re quick to turn your head and your eyes lay upon none other than the mind-jacking hero, Shinsou!

You’re quick to bow, “ah! Mr.shinsou, sir, it’s an honor to meet you” you greet and he’s chuckling softly.

“Hey now, don’t worry about being too formal with me” he says, voice gentle as he rests a hand on your shoulder. Your face is burning, he told you that you looked nice! The number five hero just complimented you!

“Thank-thank you” you say and quickly take another sip of your drink to try and calm your nerves, “you look nice as well”

He gives you a genuine smile, “you’re so sweet”

You can hardly breathe right now, Shinsou first told you that you looked nice and now he was calling you sweet? Was this your lucky day or something?

“Well Shinsou I-”

“Oh! Hitoshi, I’ve been looking for you man!”

Chargebolt walked over to where the two of you were standing and wrapped his arm around Shinsou’s neck. He began pulling him away, going on about how ground zero almost slapped one of the patrons. Shinsou turned to wave goodbye to you and you did the same. Once he was out of sight you released a breathe you hadn’t know you’d been holding in. Tonight felt like a dream, you really didn’t want to wake up from it.

“y/n! There you are, I need to you take pictures of me and some of our guests!” Your boss yells and you’re sighing, downing the rest of your drink before you rest it on a neighboring table.

“Coming sir!”

well maybe you were ready to wake up from it now.

The next day at the same time you retrieved your mail, you’d shuffled through it several times and yet you hadn’t found that signature purple envelope. The day after that and even the day after that one there was no letter for you in the mail. It stung. Maybe they’d lost interest in you? Maybe they decided that you weren’t good enough after all?

The sixth day after receiving no letter you’d decided to give up, it wasn’t like you knew this was going to happen. You threw yourself onto your bed as soon as you got out the shower. You’d been doing poorly at work lately, your mind too busy focusing on those purple envelopes rather than the stack of paper work in front of you. You pulled the sheets up to your chin and shut your eyes, praying that you wouldn’t dream of that person or their kind words.

There was an odd sensation you got, it felt like cold air was hitting your body. Were you still dreaming? You didn’t leave your window open. Your eyes fluttered open, your vision still slightly blurry as you came to. Your sat up and rubbed your eyes. From the corner of your eye you saw a figure standing there. Fear that laid dormant until now began to unfurl itself in your gut, you slowly turned your head to face it and there he was.

“M-mr.Shinsou?!” You whisper yelled, he gave you a soft smile and held his hands up in front of him.

“You caught me” he says and begins walking towards you, you’re scurrying away from him on the bed.

“Why- why are you here?!” you hold the sheet up in front of you like a shield.

“I felt guilty about not sending letters for so long..I made you sad and I couldn’t forgive myself for that so I came to make it up to you” he explains and your still sleep filled mind was struggling trying to comprehend his words.

“Letters..you’re the one who has been sending me all of those letters?” You ask and he nods, he takes a seat on the edge of your bed and that familiar pounding of your heart is back. It was him, the person you’d been longing for, for so long now.

“Mhm, everything I said in those letters were true as well, how beautiful I think you are, how addicting your personality is, how absolutely sinful I think your body is..” he whispers and you feel air caught in your throat. Shinsou inches closer and closer to you and in a flash of purple he pins you underneath him.

“Mr.Shinsou..-”

“Hitoshi, call me Hitoshi” he corrects.

His head slowly lowers until his face is millimeters from yours, his breath is hot against your lips and you can’t help but shut your eyes, you’d been wanting this- wanting him for such a long time now. Shinsou’s lips press gently against yours and you find yourself kissing back, your lips move in a glorious synchronous. The kiss was one of passion and hunger; proof that the two of you had been longing for the other. You pulled away from him, lungs grateful for the ability to breathe again.

“Hitoshi..” you whisper and Shinsou sucks in a breath before his hands move downwards to pull at the hem of your night gown.

“Can I?” He asks and you find yourself nodding. The number five hero, the man who has been stalking you, sending you letters that if you were anyone else would find creepy, the man you’d fallen for…

You raised your arms in the air as he slowly began lifting the sheer cloth off of you revealing your nude body to him. Your cheeks burned in embarrassment, your arms folded to cover your exposed chest.

“Y-you might be disillusioned after seeing me completely naked..if you regret choosing me to give your heart to, I don’t blame you” you shyly confess and Shinsou’s eyes widen.

“I could never, I've merely dreamt about this day every night for months on end...you are the most beautiful person I've had the pleasure of laying eyes upon.” He says, his hands gently pry your arms away from your body and you can feel hot tears well up in your eyes as he lays you back against the soft blankets.

His lips are soft as they press themselves against every bit of exposed skin, his kisses don't shy away from stretch marks or any of your other insecurities. A warm, heated feeling that blossoms in your chest.

Love? Desire? Serendipity?

It felt like all three combined into one big ball of sentiment.

His hands gently massaged your breasts evoking soft mewls of his name from you. His hands slivered downwards to grope the flesh of your stomach.

“Soft beautiful...” he mumbles, his hands move even further downwards and cup the warmth between your legs. The feeling of his hand directly against you has your legs spreading, giving yourself completely to him. His fingers gently rub circles at your clit, your hips stutter up into his touch, moans and whimpers tumble out of your mouth dumbly. The situation you've been so eager for, for so long was finally upon you.

Your back arches off the mattress as he slides a slim finger inside of you, the sensation feels much fuller than your own fingers do. You beg him to go faster, add more and make you feel better than you have ever before and he's shushing your lust filled ramblings with a kiss.

“I need to savor this moment, I won’t get many more like this” he expresses and your concern is evident on your face but he doesn't allow you to ponder on his words. He adds in another finger and curls them upwards, pressing them against the spongy sweet spot, his head ducks down and his lips wrap firmly around your clit and suck on the aching bud. Your eyes roll back into your head and your body shakes, unable to handle to the newfound euphoria.

“Ah- shinsou! I’ll- cumming!” your cunt spasms around his fingers as your orgasm hits you, you grip onto the sheets around you as your thighs shake.

“You look so pretty like this, so so pretty” he compliments, before you know it your eyes are involuntarily fluttering shut. You're scared, panic fills you at the thought of him not being here when you wake up, you don't want this to be another fever dream.

When you awake the next morning you feel heavy. Your body slumped with the exhaustion of the previous nights activities. You're eyes widen as your hand feels around the bed, your fingers bump into the heat of another body and there is. The yellow halo from the sun is cast over his head as his chest rises and falls.

You scoot in close enough so that your noses are just barely touching. His eyes begin creaking open and purple gems meet your own.

“Good morning”

“Morning..”

Questions about what he meant last night could wait…you wanted spend your time right now loving him.

#boo writes 👻#shinsou #shinsou x reader #shinsou x reader smut #shinsou smut #yandere shinsou #yandere shinso x reader #yandere shinso hitoshi #yandere shinsou x reader smut #yandere shinsou x chubby reader #yandere shinsou x chubby reader smut #yandere bnha #yandere mha

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jinpanman · 3 years

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Will You(ngi) Marry Me?

summary: What’s a girl to do when all she wants to do is marry the fuck out of the love of her life?

pairing: yoongi x reader

word count: 2.2k

genre: 18+, fluff, mild nsfw (it’s explicit enough to warrant an 18+ rating)

extra info/warnings: a lot of run on sentences pls forgive me that’s just how she rolls lmao. cursing. oc thinks/says dirty things about/to the love of her life (she really really wants to suck his dick lol).

a/n: i was talking with awgust @augustbutwinter about our favorite ocs and then i started thinking about my All I Want Is You(ngi) oc bc we both love her so much and then i saw this tangerine ring box while scrolling through twt like a day later and my heart just knew. just knew that yoongi is a man who deserves to be proposed to. no beta sooo if it sucks, well, it’s all my fault. hahaha. anyway please read All I Want Is You(ngi) before you read this one! 💕✨

Tonight’s the night, you’ve decided.

Tonight you’re going to Netflix and chill with the love of your life and before the night ends, you’re going to pop the question and it’s all going to go so well!

It’s too bad you forget you’re going to Netflix and chill. Literally. The man takes his movie nights very seriously. It’s okay. This small hindrance won’t stop you. You don’t need to suck Yoongi’s dick before you propose. You can suck his dick after you propose. It’ll be so much fun getting your hair tangled in his newly bejeweled fingers. You shoot endless heart eyes at said love of your life throughout the Tazza series binge.

You’re midway through the second film when he adjusts himself beside you and very nearly causes a heart attack because his jostling around nearly causes the ring box in your pocket to tumble out and goodness gracious whoever thought that designing women’s jeans with the smallest ass pockets better not be resting peacefully in their graves right now because they don’t deserve it! You should’ve worn your sweats. By your sweats you mean Seokjin’s oversized sweats that you stole years ago and never gave back. Bless his very forgetful brain. You’re sweating maybe, and you hope that your confidence doesn’t fizzle out by the end of the night.

You’ve known for a long time now that you want to marry Yoongi. Your pretty and humble and funny man. You’ve fantasized about introducing him as your husband one too many times now and yes, maybe you have “accidentally” called him your husband around strangers. You’ve also heard too many horror stories about men being so stressed about the perfect proposal to the point that they barely even remember how it went. Thinking about your man having to add this pressure on top of the stress he already deals with every day at work called the need for an intervention. You love Yoongi too much to do this to him and the more you spiraled and thought about it, the more your resolve set.

And good god, thank goodness you did. You can’t imagine your boyfriend going through all of the anxiety that you did for the last several months. The never ending days of ring shopping and figuring out when and where to propose have been absolute chaos and you may have had at least two breakdowns. Seokjin as your witness (and savior). You hate how bland men’s wedding bands look. You also know how good your man looks with rings adorned on his fingers and if you didn’t give him the sexiest ring to wear for the rest of his life, then what was the point?

Back to the point of Seokjin being your savior. He helped you pick out the most perfect ring for Yoongi. Bless his selfless heart. After lots of tears and headache, you chose a cushion cut moissanite ring for your perfect man. Moissanite because Yoongi will absolutely lose his shit over an ethically lab grown jewel. Cushion cut because Seokjin said so and by that point, you were too tired to argue. Also because all the cuts were all starting to look the same. You just can’t wait to finally put the ring on him so you can see his sparkly hand and know that he’s forever yours.

You’re extremely antsy by the time the end credits roll for the last film. It’s something Yoongi picks up on instantly and he pauses mid stretch to look at you inquiringly.

“What’s up, sweetness? You’ve been fidgety all evening.”

You’re not surprised that your oh so sweet and attentive boyfriend picked up on it. He treats you so well, this boyfriend of yours. You can’t wait to elevate him to fiancé status. One look at him in all his domestic glory and your nerves are eased. As all the great world changers say: YOLO.

“I’ve been thinking a lot, baby.”

He nods. “Nothing out of the usual.”

“Right! Yes! I do that a lot but this time I’ve really been thinking a lot aaaand I have a question to ask of you. My love. My sugar.”

You crack a nervous smile when you spot the tell tale signs of a blush.

“Yoongi, I love you a lot.”

“I love you too, baby.”

“We’ve been together for like four years now and we live together and you’ve written songs for me and you’ve nutted in me probably over a hundred times now and I just really want your nuts all to myself for the rest of our lives.”

Yoongi laughs. Your heart skips a beat. Does he know what’s happening right now? He probably does. He’s always been so good at figuring out what you’re plotting. If he’s figured it out, he doesn’t let up. He merely waits for you to finish.

“You know I’ve never been very good at the whole ‘being serious’ thing. That’s why I have you. My perfect partner. You keep me grounded. You laugh at my stupid jokes. You love me even on my ugly days and so I… selfishly, I want you to continue loving me. I want to keep on loving you and…”

You get down on one knee and take out the ring box that’s been burning against your thigh for the past day. Yoongi’s yet to say anything, sat so perfectly still on the edge of the couch. His expression so beautiful and so shy and he’s nervously picking at his nails and you're so sure that his heart is hammering away just as quickly as yours. You hope he’ll like it. The tangerine shaped ring box sits heavily in the palm of your hand. You watch his eyes flicker down to the object you hold and you swear you could jump right over the moon with the way he smiles oh so bashfully and the soft snort that escapes his lips.

“Will you marry me? Make me a Min and then we can get to work on creating Min-iatures?”

He’s laughing now and dear god, if that sound doesn’t send your heart straight into overdrive.

“You’re so stupid,” he says and the giddiness you had is so quickly dimmed.

“Yoongi! I just- I just poured my heart out to you and that’s all you have to say?!”

He grumbles and pouts and he’s blushing so much. You maybe want to kiss him a lot right now despite what he just said, but then his legs do this thing where he’s now kneeling on one knee too. Your eyes widen a comical amount. They must. Because the next thing you know, his hand does this thing where it reaches inside his pants pocket and pulls out a velvety green box. Then his hands do this other thing where they open the lid and lo and behold. There sits the prettiest fucking ring you have ever laid your eyes on. You would know. You’ve been in so many ring stores to last you a lifetime and you’ve seen so many of your friends’ rings throughout the years. You’ve seen enough to know. This ring though. A shiny marquise shaped diamond sitting atop the daintiest braided band. It’s your favorite. You already know it.

“Y/N, you absolutely astounding, amazing, adorable angel.”

“That’s a lot of ‘a’ words, Yoongs.”

“I can’t believe you just proposed to me with an orange.”

“An orange with a ring inside!”

“An orange with a ring inside,” he repeats with the biggest “I love you” smile ever. Maybe you should propose to him every single day now so you see this smile all the time.

“You like my big brain?”

“I love your big brain. My beautiful, bold, bubbly baby.”

“Keep going and we’ll still be awake when the sun rises.”

He winks and murmurs something along the lines of “we’d be up until the sun rises anyway.” You may be joking around with him, but you’re absolutely sick with nerves. Way much more than the ten minutes before you proposed to Yoongi. You’re so nervous and you maybe think you should sit down for this so you do. You become one with the floor and Yoongi is staring at you so intensely. You’re sweating absolute buckets.

“I can’t believe you,” he begins a bit breathlessly. Then he pauses, takes a deep breath. Begins again.

“I would say I can’t believe you proposed to me before I could propose, but that would be a lie because from the moment we first met, you have always been one step ahead of me. And yet you never leave me behind. You’re always there, waiting for me, beckoning me to catch up with you.”

He pauses and chuckles. Somehow your hand had been taken in his during one of the sappiest confession you have ever exchanged and you realize that both of your hands are shaking. You give his hand a soft squeeze and he kisses your knuckles.

“I’ve realized… for a long time now that I don’t want to walk behind you anymore. I want to walk alongside you. See your beautiful smile beside me every day and every night. If you had just waited one more day, I was going to surprise you with all your favorite things and then ask you to marry me. So yes, beloved, yes I will absolutely marry you and give you all the nuts. Will you marry me?”

Mayday. Mayday. MAYDAY!!!

This was not a part of your plan. You hadn’t planned on Yoongi proposing right back to you. You hadn’t even fancied the thought and because you never considered it a possibility, your poor heart is nutting way too quickly and way too much and it’s all just a little too much for you to handle right now.

“What the fuck,” you babble out through tears that fall freely down your face. “Baby, what the fuck?”

Yoongi, your sweet and loving Yoongi, chuckles and stands up. Then he pulls you up as well and oh, you must have been kneeling for way too long because your leg’s asleep now and you stumble into him. He’s got you, though. Steadies you with his strong and capable hands.

“Will you marry me, baby?” he asks you gently, lovingly, sweetly, as he kisses the tears away.

“Yes! Of course I’ll marry you! I want to marry the fuck out of you right now!”

You’re hysterical now and you very nearly fling your ring box out of your hand with the way you’re moving around. But Yoongi’s here. He’s here and he takes your hands and now you’re looking down where they’re connected and you see the two beautiful rings sitting inside two equally beautiful boxes.

“Put my ring on, baby? Put my ring on so you can see the pretty ring glittering on my hand while I suck you off.”

Yoongi knocks his head against yours and the both of you bask in your shared breathless and giddy laughter. You watch with bated breath as he plucks your ring out of the box, and he’s just about to slide it onto your finger when he pulls back.

“Which side is it supposed to go on?” he muses.

You cock your head in thought. You know the answer to this question. You do. You’ve done so much research, but your mind draws a blank. Rather than waste precious time trying to figure it out, you shrug and offer him your right hand.

“Who cares what side it’s supposed to go on? We’re in love. Just wife me up already.”

He giggles again. It’s such a short affair. Happens so quickly. One moment your ring finger is bare. The next you’ve got a pretty ring that you can’t wait to show off to the world. Is this really all it takes? Is it really this easy? He nudges his right hand into your lap and you move solely on autopilot. You pick up the orange ring box and slide the band you bought him onto his own ring finger. You see the way he visibly lights up at having his own ring, see how he admires the band on his finger, and you decide right then and there that yes, it really is this easy. He looks so fucking good. You’re giving yourself a big, fat mental pat on the back for putting a ring on this dreamboat of a man.

The now empty emerald green ring box and orange shaped ring box lie side by side on the side of the couch. They couldn’t look any different and yet, somehow, they complement each other so well. Both your rings glisten and sparkle under the dim lighting in the living room and you’re excited to see just how much more it’ll sparkle under the sun. You can’t wait to blind people with your saccharine love for Yoongi. You can’t wait to brag to the world that your love for each other is so great that you both proposed.

“Kiss me, Yoongi. You have to kiss me to seal the deal.”

He snorts. “Isn’t that supposed to be saved for the wedding day?”

“Kiss me!” you whine petulantly and fist his shirt, tugging him towards you. You stand on the tips of your toes and lift your head up. You even pucker your lips and he has the audacity to reel his head back. “Kiss me. I love you, Yoongi. Kiss me!”

“I love you too, cutie,” he teases, gummy smile out in full force.

“Kiss, kiss, kiss! Kiss your cute ass fiancée and let’s get started on creating our Minis.”

And because he loves you, wants it just as much as you do, he cups your face, leans in, and gives you exactly what you ask for.

#btsghostie #btsgoldnet #btswritingcafe #suga fanfic #suga fan fiction #yoongi fanfic #yoongi fan fiction #bts fanfic #bts fan fiction #suga fluff #yoongi fluff #bts fluff #boyfriend yoongi #f:will you(ngi) marry me?#tell me why i never post at a good time lol #i need to stop doing this

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kithtaehyung · 3 years

Text

with him. (m) | hyung line

title: with him. (m) pairing: hyung line x reader(f) genre/rating: 18+ ; smut word count: 1.2k summary: in which you remember all the ones before him. warnings: language, house party, penetration, oral, breast play, sl*t/wh*re nicknames notes: this is just a quickie for the wonderful hyung line enthusiast @joheunsaram !! i don’t know what came over me bc this just.. produced itself, so happy birthday LOL i hope you like it! if you don’t, you can crumple it, chuck it in the bin, and pretend this never happened sdjklfsd. also, all pics other than the boys can be found on my aesthetic blog @brandisher 🤎

With Hoseok, it started as a blur and ended as a blur.

The house party was in full swing, with bass thrumming from the floor into your sneakers and drinks sloshing onto your clothes.

You remember getting there, and you remember the way Hoseok stared at you once you entered the crowded kitchen, paying no attention to the girl latched onto his neck.

But sometime between that and having a feeling of fulfillment and soreness between your legs, the pair of you had rushed into a guest bathroom--upstairs, downstairs, even that was hazy--tearing into each other like savages.

“I still taste her on your neck.”

“Who the fuck are you talking about?”

It was quick. Unbridled.

The way he had his fingers lodged into your cunt while you pressed against the sink, the way he ravaged the sweaty expanse of your neck, the way his cologne assaulted your senses and blew out your eyes.

All of it was so fast.

But you do remember the way he felt between your legs, the way he shoved your panties aside and slapped your thighs to widen your stance, the way he sneered at you when you said he wasn’t going fast enough.

Each thrust launched you upward, your lower back digging into the sink but neither of you giving a single shit. Your pussy throbbed around his cock, suctioned him in with fervor and tenacity.

“You’re so tight.”

“You’re so talkative.”

The way he clawed at your clothes and raked his hands across your back had you almost feeling like there was something more there, but you knew there wasn’t. What you had was the result of constant bickering, constant petty comments, sparking tension every time you existed in the same space.

It was bound to happen.

And it all happened in a blur.

With Yoongi, it only meant to be a one night thing that turned into two.

The first was the result of low morale and plenty of merlot.

You had just gotten back from the latest of a string of terrible dates, and your roommate had been there as the voice of reason and reassurance like always.

Except that time, reason was chucked out the window as soon as his fingers found their way onto your thighs.

The moment your eyes locked with his, he had pulled you in for a kiss, and the next thing you knew you were lying in his sheets.

Your clothes littered the hallway and stayed there until the next morning, abandoned as Yoongi trailed his lips from your neck to your hips.

“What are we doing?”

“Fucking.”

A pause.

“Well, after I do this first.”

His tongue played your cunt and made you sing for him, riding the waves of pleasure again and again as he kept your legs pried apart and shuddering so, so violently.

Tears tracked down your face as you became overwhelmed, and that’s when he covered you with his sweatered body and filled you with his length.

It was only supposed to be a one time thing.

But a couple days later, when you leaned on the kitchen counter to eat cereal for dinner, the view alone warranted a second, sober night.

That time it was measured. Needy. Intentional.

Each thrust was as deep as the way his tongue swiped into your mouth, each kiss on your neck heavy as you pulled at his smooth shoulders.

“Fuck, you feel so good.”

“Yoongi, fuck…”

He was attentive and rode through your high when you came, grunting and straining to keep his sweaty muscles together on top of you.

And after it was over, the creeping fear that you could feel things for your roommate sunk its talons in your skin.

And nothing ever happened again.

With Seokjin, it was casual and had nothing to do with feelings altogether, even though he made you see stars.

It was days after when you realized that sex with him was inevitable, that the jokes you always made with each other had a twinge of seriousness and purpose. He was just a friend, after all, which made it easy to get together as soon as you both agreed nothing would come of it.

But even though there were no feelings.

It didn’t mean you didn’t make each other feel.

“Holy fuck, you’re good.”

“I know.”

Seokjin knew exactly what he was doing and his experience let him learn your body quickly. Within seconds he knew what to do with you, and your body bloomed with each discovery, your mouth hanging open like it couldn’t shut itself anymore.

His lips felt so good on your breasts, his hot tongue lolling and teeth scraping with just the right pressure. His fingers dug into your waist as soon as he had you on your hands and knees, his cock burrowing inside of you and elevating your soul to the heavens.

“You’re taking it so well, babe.”

“Oh, my god!”

Unrelenting, he had buried your body into the bed, throwing his sweaty chest onto your back when you both were getting closer and closer.

And even after a handful of times, it remained casual--an anomaly that lasted purely because the both of you were so lax about it all.

But with Namjoon?

The man you had met along the way?

Just his stare was enough to render you speechless.

You didn’t know what to do with that feeling.

Maybe it was the way he was so different in the bedroom than he was outside. Maybe it was the way he could both dominate you and make you feel unstoppable.

Or maybe it was the way he whispered sweet nothings in your ear between the most raunchy, dirty words you’ve ever been told. The names he would call you, the insults he would grit out.

Voice low and gravelly, he would turn you into a quivering mess on those alone.

“I bet you love begging on your knees, slut.”

“My baby’s so good for me.”

“Nu uh, take it all in like a dirty whore. Just like that.”

“Fuck, what are you doing to me.”

You felt like a wild animal, caged within his bulky arms and roped in with his lustful gaze. Thrashing when he made you come for another time--you lost count every night--you pleaded and pleaded, to no one. You didn’t know if you were pleading for him to stop or to keep going. All you knew was his name, and basic speech, and that there was no way you could stand on your own for the next twelve hours.

As raw as the sex with Namjoon was, he always knew how to make you feel loved. Feel wanted.

All the others before him did to some degree, as well, but you knew that he was focused on you and you alone. There was no question with him.

You had stared into so many eyes, peered into so many souls.

But his was the one that looked right back without wavering. Without doubt. Time stopped; you weren’t counting down the nights; feelings existed and lasted like a reddened hearth.

With Namjoon, it was like coming home.

a/n: yes, so this was just a quick, idk what happened in the middle of the day but yeah thing! i’m always down to talk about my fics or what have you in my inbox, and here is my masterlist if you would like to browse! happy happy birthday, mars!🤎

#bts fanfic #bts imagines #bts reactions #hyung line fic #houseofddaeng #blacklist tag for fics:#*ryenfictalk #namjoon smut #seokjin smut #yoongi smut #hoseok smut #hyung line x reader #ryenwrites #presents!#fanfic #bangtaninn #bangtansorciere #*latest

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hopeandvolleyball · 3 years

Text

they call you clingy pt.1

genre: hurt, comfort, angst to fluff

w/osamu, atsumu

a.n. i’m the angst machine >:) no but seriously you’re gonna get angst stuff for a hot minute bc i just had a really bad breakup and i have to self project somehow

osamu miya

this argument was the same dance you’ve been dancing for weeks now, a twisted tango of wanting a moment alone with your boyfriend and him getting defensive over the workload his business was providing him

the dance was exhausting and you wanted to stop, but each day the argument osamu dragged it out farther and father and you wanted to scream.

“just once, once for the first time in a month, can i have some time with my boyfriend? i don’t ask for much with you so can you please just-”

“ya don’t ask for much? are ya fuckin kiddin me, y/n? everyday yer beggin for my attention like some fuckin’ useless puppy. if i knew ye were gonna be this clingy i wouldn’t ave ever asked ya out!” he bit back, venom and words unwarranted.

you took a step back, angry expression dying almost instantly at the usage of the word clingy. you tried not to be, really. you worked so hard at making a safe and loving environment for both you and osamu. did you not notice the signs he was uncomfortable.

“alright,” you nodded. “i’ll work on that. thank you for letting me know. goodnight, miya.” sighing, you made your way into the guest room for the night to let osamu cool down.

osamu got off work early, finally deciding to hire other managers to relieve the workload on him. he knew you were right that it was beginning to be too much for him to handle, he also knew he had a lot of making up to do in regards to that blowout last night. he picked up a bouquet of tulips, your favorites, along with a teddy bear and your favorite takeout. he took a deep breath once he opened the door, not knowing exactly what to say or do or expect. he saw you in the kitchen, getting ready to start dinner.

“ya don’t need to cook today, darlin. i got yer favorites,” he smiled, holding up the bags with a nervous smile. you turned around and blinked at osamu. nodding, you began to put everything back. okay. not the response he was expecting. he set everything, except the flowers, onto the dining table and waited for you to return. with outstretched hands, the bear was in his arms waiting for you to take. nervously you took it, staring into the glassy eyes of the bear. “’m really sorry for last night, buttercup. of all the things i’ve ever wanted to do makin’ ya think i don’t love and appreciate ya was the last thing i ever wanted. ‘m so sorry, baby.” you were silent, biting on your lower lip. setting the bear down you gave him a pathetic smile.

“thanks, osamu. lets eat, yeah?” you suggested. he smiled brightly and moved in to kiss you, which you dodged. okay. you were more damaged by what he said than he really thought you were. and his heart cracked at that realization. osamu took his place at the other end of the table and ate his fill, not paying attention to what he was shoveling into his mouth and instead paid attention to you pushing around the food on the plate. his lips twisted into a frown.

“um, wanna watch a movie tonight? i have a midshift tomorrow. i hired more managers to help me with the workload,” osamu leaned into his palm. you nodded, looking him in the eyes, his smile infectious and you smiled just a bit.

when you didn’t cuddle with him during the movie that was his breaking point. he gave you so many signs he wanted you on his chest, starting to fall asleep while his fingers tangled in your hair. instead you curled into the arm of the couch on the opposite end of him. he frowned and paused the movie. you perked up and looked at him confused.

“c’mere baby,” he demanded, patting his lap. you shook your head and pulled your knees to your chest. “why? talk to me honeybun.”

“you called me clingy, osamu. i’m just trying to make things easier for you,” you commented, voice slightly muffled as your face was buried into your knees. sighing, osamu gently pulled you closer so your head could lay softly on his plush thighs. “i’m sorry-”

“ya shouldn’t be the sorry one here,” he cooed. “i didn’t mean it, buttercup. i really didn’t. i know ya don’t believe me but i was angry with ya. i just wanted ya off my back and i hurt ya. i didn’t mean it, okay?” he comforted, hands still threading through your hair.

“okay,” you nodded. “i’m still shaken up but we’re gonna be okay. i promise.”

atsumu miya

whatever stupid fight you were in this time didn’t warrant what atsumu said on the phone to bokuto after. why he called bokuto after your fight you didn’t know.

“and, to top it all off, y/n’s just bein real clingy lately and i can’t handle it.” he complained, fingers pinching his forehead. you were in the doorway to apologize but hearing that made your heart stop. did he really think that way about you?

luckily he didn’t catch you in the hallway before you slinked back into your bedroom and into bed.

atsumu joined not too long after. he sat on the opposite side of the bed, not wanting to lay down quite yet. he looked over at you, knowing you weren’t asleep but pretending to be. sighing, he turned to face you, pushing your hair out of your face. to his surprise you visibly flinched. his brows furrowed and he sighed deeply.

“y/n? angel? ‘m really sorry bout the fight. i don’t even remember what we were fightin about. but ‘m sorry. i don’t like seein’ ya this upset especially if it was me causin this. yer the love of my life and i don’t know what i’d do without ya,” atsumu breathed out, hoping the apology was good enough for you.

“it’s okay, tsumu,” you nodded, pulling the covers up closer to your chin. he smiled.

“good. now let me smother the shit outta you.” he chuckled and opened his arms for you to fall into. when you didn’t, opting to snuggle into the blanket, he frowned. “y/n? what’s wrong lovely.” you shook your head.

“nothing i’m just gonna head to bed, okay?” you gave him a weak smile.

“but i can’t sleep without ya in my arms, baby,” he whined, doing grabby hands at you in hopes you would get the hint. but you didn’t, or you did and were ignoring him. “darlin?”

“i’ve just been clingy lately, and i don’t like putting you in this position, okay love?” you sighed, exasperated. his brows furrowed into a knot in the center of his forehead. not once had he ever given you the impression you were clingy except. oh. okay you heard.

“oh baby no,” atsumu leaned in and cupped your face within the palms of his hands. “yer not clingy. i was just rantin to bo and i wanted to villainize ya to make me seem better and i knew it was wrong, bo knew it was wrong. i wish i could take it back. i love ya and i wish ye’d smother me in yer love every day,” he took in a deep breath before going into your neck and blowing raspberries into the skin, causing you to burst out into giggles. “there’s my pretty baby.” he beamed down at you, gently running his fingers over your cheek.

it took quite a bit of coaxing to get you into his arms, your rightful place. with gentle hums and coos he got you to loosen up, sadly chuckling. “i did a number on ya, didn’t i?” he asked.

“yeah. but i’ll get over it.” you sighed into his collarbone.

“oh no. just means ‘m gonna have to smother ya. oh no. woe is me,” he teased, going back to the assault of kisses onto your neck.

#osamu #osamu x reader #osamu miya #osamu miya x reader #atsumu #atsumu x reader #atsumu miya #atsumu miya x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu angst #haikyuu fluff

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peachysamu · 3 years

Text

Matcha for the Little Man

Summary: mini Osamu, matcha ice cream, and nosy owners

Genre: fluff, like a lot of it

Word count: 1.2k

A/n: I had a thought and I had to drop everything to run with it. My WPM might have increased during this bout of dad!Osamu mania bc I just needed to put the thoughts into words IMMEDIATELY

“This yours?” Osamu spares a glance at you. It feels like everything happens in slow motion. You see the usual glow in his eyes, something you always look forward to when he walks through the door. Then it blends into something different. You’re not quite sure what you detect. An amalgamation of emotions you’ve never quite seen on someone else. Wonder with fear accompanied by craving? It’s similar to when a man walks in on a hot day, sparkly globs of sweat dotting his forehead, and in desperate need for something cold. But it’s a perfect breezy day out, perfect temperate weather.

Then Osamu’s eyes grow wide. His head dips down, where you assume he had last seen the kid, to back up to you, holding the Osamu lookalike on your hip. He waves at his father innocently but you notice how he doesn’t reach out for the familiar touch. It seems the kid’s content perched along your side.

“Yeah, that’s mine,” Osamu laughs and reaches over the counter. His son turns his head away, pretending to not see him. It makes you laugh, lean your cheek against his, relishing how you might possibly be the new favorite in the child’s eyes. “Sorry, I bring him around the shop a lot. He’s used to having free reign behind counters.”

Osamu pats his son’s little butt. “Come on, little man. Don’t you want ice cream?”

The bribe isn’t enough to warrant Osamu’s attention. The babe decides to play with the collar of your apron instead or accidentally pull at the tresses that line your neck. Anything but his father.

“It’s okay,” You murmur in mini Osamu’s ear. “I can still get you ice cream.”

You begin moving towards the gallons and holding onto the chub on his abdomen. Osamu follows from the other side.

“You really don’t gotta do all that.”

“I really think I do.” You give him a pointed glare before turning your attention back to his son. “Had I known your dad was hiding you he would have never been my favorite customer!”

You sneak a glance at Osamu who bears a fond expression.

“Gotta make it up to you,” You press your nose against his cheeks. It takes all of you not to bite the rosy nibbles of joy as he screeches from laughter. “Since you’re my new fave after all. So what do you like?”

“He’ll have the—“

You shush Osamu, even casting him a faux irritated look and making way for his son to choose. “Excuse me, please do not talk over our customers. We’ll serve you in just a second, sir.”

Osamu shuts right up as his son takes the stage. The hand that’s not carrying him presses against his back, pulling him closer to you as you lean over the glass, walking slowly to allow him to choose his options.

“Bab bab!” Mini Osamu points. Spit litters along the glass but you know what, that’s okay. It’s cuter when one year olds do it. Adults are a different story.

“Matcha?” Your eyebrow quirks to Osamu. “Just like your dad. A man of exquisite taste.”

Holding a child makes your job harder to do, but you manage. A scoop of matcha in one cup, and adzuki bean in another, Osamu’s usual go to. When you finally meet Osamu at the register, his kid has had enough adventure with a stranger for the day, arms reaching out for his father.

“Can I have a scoop of strawberry?” Osamu whispers in your ear in the middle of the exchange. “Kid’s definitely not gonna eat matcha.”

“Of course.” You laugh. There’s a twinkle in Osamu’s eye, but you swallow the hope it brings quickly. Now that you know he has a kid, one that looks very much like him, your fantasies must be put to a stop. He has a partner waiting for him back home. Despite him being a regular customer you’d see every so often, you really thought you and Osamu were becoming friends. He’d come in short to closing and wait for you outside of the patio. Hours long of talk but never had he mentioned a child or a lover.

“Do you have time to come out and join us?” Osamu nods his head towards the outdoor seating. For the first time, you’re about to say no, but the owner answers for you.

“Yes, they have time!”

She’s ushering you out quickly and you curse at her kindness. Ever since Osamu’s first entrance, the couple that owns the shop have shipped you with the handsome restaurant owner. Before you might have felt bad taking their kindness for granted, scrambling off the floor at the sight of the broad backed man. Now though, you really wish they weren’t so nosy.

You situate yourself at the usual table in the back right corner of the patio. It’s where you got to know of Osamu, the guy who owns the onigiri restaurant one street down. At first you were fascinated by meeting him and the glamour of his job. He works on the main road where most of the traffic is while your ice cream parlor resided on a backstreet. But the more you spoke with him, the more his brightness dulled. Instead of a hot, luminous star, you realized he’s more of a tame desk lamp. He is warm, reliable, and approachable. He is a man of simple dreams whose actions show with magnanimous results. It was that obtainable and easy comfort that had you falling for him in the dimness of the night.

Today he visits during the day and suddenly, he feels like the sun. Warm, inescapable, and the center of the universe. How does he do it all? How is he a dad, running a business, and above all, a good man?

Mini Osamu’s joyous laughter cuts through the tension and you and Osamu both share in his happiness. Hands clapping against the table, you take a small spoonful of matcha and place it along the babe’s lips. It melts and stains pink plush with a greenish hue. You both watch at bated breath for a reaction. There it is. A nose scrunch, a whine, and a fervent shake of the head that is only placated by the taste of strawberry ice cream.

“He really likes you.” Osamu observes, eyes on his son.

“Bums me out that you never even mentioned him. I’ve missed out on a friend for this long.” It’s a halfhearted joke but you really are bummed. You wish he had said something so you wouldn’t have had this misplaced hope for so long.

“Yeah, sorry I never did.”

“How come? I wouldn’t have judged you.”

“Not everyone wants to befriend a single dad.” Osamu slides a large palm atop his son’s head, smoothing the pieces that stick up. “And a business owner? I didn’t want to scare you away.”

“You’re a single dad?”

Osamu’s gaze falls on you, curious. “Yeah?”

“Like single single?”

The smile that Osamu’s been holding breeches across his lips. “Yeah?”

“You’re so funny!” Mini Osamu shrieks in time with your unbridled laughter. “The only way you could scare me away is if you had a partner! Oh I can’t wait to tell the owners you’re single!”

Osamu’s eyes flash into the parlor in shock. “They’re a married couple. One of them is into me?”

You nod. “They’re into you. Being into me.”

There’s a pause, taking a glance at his son, then him. And you take account of your own feelings and how this feels just right. “Tell me I’m not reading into this wrong.”

“You’re not.”

You take mini Osamu from his high chair and run back into the shop, “Come on little guy! Let’s tell them the good news!”

386 notes · View notes