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nohoperadio · 23 days

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My favourite author is Iris Murdoch.

I don't think I have favourites in any other category, it feels like a bit of an artificial concept usually, but it would be silly to deny this one. I was halfway through my first Murdoch novel (at age 20 or so) when I felt certain I was going to have to read them all (there are 26). My feeling was that I would have stayed true to that even if every other book she wrote had been terrible. I'm sure that's not true, but I say it to illustrate that she inspired a deep and irrational loyalty in me very early on that hasn't waned over time. I've been reading between one and three of her books per year since I started, deliberately spreading them out so as not to deplete a valuable resource too soon, although presumably I'll just start rereading them at the same rate after I've finished. I've read 21 out of 26 so far.

Maybe someday I'll have something to say on here about what draws me to her books so strongly. Not right now though. What I want to say today is that I usually like her opening lines very much, she often starts with some very punchy compact moment that feels weirdly complete already even as it clearly stands in need of unpacking, if that makes sense to anyone else. This post is going to be simply a compilation of some good ones. Let's say 10 of the best, in no particular order.

I'm defining "opening lines" as not literally just the first sentence but enough to cover the first self-contained "moment" of the book, which is a bit of a judgment call for sure but you can be confident I've judged correctly in every case. For The Philosopher's Pupil (but no others) I've blatantly cheated by entirely skipping a sort of prologue chapter because I think the opening of the next chapter is both more opening-like and more compelling, I acknowledge that this is illegitimate but you'll just have to deal with it. Okay here goes.

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The Unicorn

'How far away is it?'

'Fifteen miles.'

'Is there a bus?'

'There is not.'

'Is there a taxi or a car I can hire in the village?'

'There is not.'

'Then how am I to get there?'

'You might hire a horse hereabouts,' someone suggested after a silence.

---

An Accidental Man

'Gracie darling, will you marry me?'

'Yes.'

'What?'

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The Bell

Dora Greenfield left her husband because she was afraid of him. She decided six months later to return to him for the same reason.

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The Philosopher's Pupil

I am the narrator: a discreet and self-effacing narrator. This book is not about me.

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Bruno's Dream

Bruno was waking up. The room seemed to be dark. He held his breath, testing the quality of the darkness, wondering if it was night or day, morning or afternoon. If it was night that was bad and might be terrible. Afternoon could be terrible too if he woke up too early. The drama of sleeping and waking had become preoccupying and fearful now that consciousness itself could be so heavy a burden.

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The Sacred and Profane Love Machine

The boy was there again this morning, and the dogs were not barking.

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A Fairly Honourable Defeat

'Julius King.'

'You speak his name as if you were meditating upon it.'

'I am meditating upon it.'

'He's not a saint.'

'He's not a saint. And yet—'

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The Message to the Planet

'Of course we have to do with two madmen now, not with one.'

'You mean Marcus is mad too?'

'No, he means Patrick is mad too.'

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The Red and the Green

Ten more glorious days without horses!

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The Sea, The Sea

The sea which lies before me as I write glows rather than sparkles in the bland May sunshine. With the tide turning, it leans quietly against the land, almost unflecked by ripples or by foam. Near the horizon it is a luxurious purple, spotted with regular lines of emerald green. At the horizon it is indigo. Near to the shore, where my view is framed by rising heaps of humpy yellow rock, there is a band of lighter green, icy and pure, less radiant, opaque however, not transparent. We are in the north, and the bright sunshine cannot penetrate the sea. Where the gentle water taps the rocks there is still a surface skin of colour. The cloudless sky is very pale at the indigo horizon which it lightly pencils in with silver. Its blue gains towards the zenith and vibrates there. But the sky looks cold, even the sun looks cold.

I had written the above, destined to be the opening paragraph of my memoirs, when something happened which was so extraordinary and so horrible that I cannot bring myself to describe it even now after an interval of time and although a possible, though not totally reassuring, explanation has occurred to me. Perhaps I shall feel calmer and more clear-headed after yet another interval.

#sometimes you gotta make a too long post that's entirely just for you you know?#nohopereadio #uninteresting #iris murdoch

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ner5y · 2 months

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@notherpuppet's role reversal lyrics for Hazbin Hotel songs have lived in my head rent free, so I wrote my own rendition of "Ready For This"!

Looking over this again, there are noticeable areas for improvement, but this is my first time writing lyrics.

Maybe I'll make a karaoke style video to show where each syllable fits into the song!

Here's the original post this was inspired by

Alastor: Have you ever wanted something

That was so clear in your mind

That you could taste it?

Exorcist 1: (Spoken) You mean like ice-cream for a friend?

Alastor: (Spoken) Ha! No

It's a feeling like a roaring

In your heart that you could find

If you just faced it

Stand up against the fray and well,

I'll just come out and say it

For the first time in my life

I know that I am ready for this

and to that heavy thrum, I'll lead you from the front

I can't do this on my own

Throughout, history has shown

That our legends never won their wars alone!

I know the burden may be great,

But with your help, I'm sure we'll take the weight!

Aren't you tired of your power and authority so easily belittled?

Exorcist 2: (Spoken) Maybe if we just talked it out-

Alastor: (Spoken) ugh, Face it!

Those in hell will never listen,

Now's the time they feel their rotten egos crippled!

They'll find their power rippled

(Spoken) And yours tripled!

Don't you want to see those bastards set alight?

Join up now, prepare to travel

Onwards to a glorious battle!

Time to steel your nerves, jump in and join the fight!

Set all that hidden bloodlust free

Follow me

And we'll divide and conquer,

Their heads upon a stake!

Charlie: Just think of all the new friends you could make!

Alastor: (Spoken) Christ's sake…

Exorcist 1: (Spoken) New friends? I'm in!

Exorcist 2: (Spoken) Oh, woah!

Exorcist 3: (Spoken) I'm so lonely!

Exorcists: It's time now to act

They're on the attack

When they move to strike

We won't stall striking back!

We'll follow with glee

We can't wait to see

The new friends we'll meet

On this hellish retreat!

Though your lust for blood is something we abhor,

We will help you fight the fight and win the war!

Those overlords won't stand a chance against our light brigade

So we say, "hip hooray!" we will join in your crusade!

Alastor: Hey now, that's the spirit! Can we amp it up?

Vaggie: (Spoken) Oi!

Do not take their jubilation

For easy manipulation!

Alastor: But if I could take their rage and build it up-

Vaggie: (Spoken) Hey, kid!

They're no demons, but they're tough!

Alastor: Fair enough…

Alastor and Vaggie: We are forever thankful for your bravery and aid!

Exorcists: We can't wait to meet the new friends we'll have made!

Alastor: (Spoken) oookay…

For the first time in my life,

I'm going to be ready for this

Ready to be their marshall, leading the parade

They're quite affable, I know,

But I'll help their rage to grow!

Until they're an army ready for the fro!

Though not the most intimidating,

I can help them fix their sorry state!

Vaggie: They're dancing along

They're singing his song!

Charlie: Surprised? Why, I knew he could do it all along!

Vaggie: although his motivations are a little harsh…

Charlie: His confidence will surely help him lead this march!

And I will be the one to heal him of his blight

Vaggie: Fine I'm in!

Charlie and Vaggie: Stick with him, he will surely see the light!

Exorcists and Alastor: For the first time in our lives

We know that we are ready for this!

Exorcists: We'll show them their most righteous battle yet!

Exorcists: We will gladly lend a hand!

Alastor: I will finally take a stand!

Against those sinners and their deadly threat!

All: We'll be the victors in this war

And once it's over, we'll restore

Authority, we're ready for

This!

Alastor: I really hope that they're ready for this…

#hazbin hotel #role reversal au #alastor #charlie morningstar #vaggie

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parables-proverbs-pericopes · 2 years

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Chickens molt.

I hasten to add that the above statement isn't taken from scripture. At least not directly from The Book. It is just an observation that brought on a thought which brought on a prayer which brought on this little devotional.

We kept chickens for several years. That’s code for “we fed a lot of raccoons, weasels, and fox.”

I enjoyed our hens. They are entertaining to watch. Sort of like the people of faith. They scurry hither and yon hard at work. Sometimes they cackle loudly for no apparent reason except for what is in their heart.

And they lay eggs.

Same with a sermon.

On Monday mornings I pull out my notes for the previous day's sermon and jot down my feelings. With disturbing regularity I write "laid an egg" or "this turkey didn't fly".

But that's a different bird.

A couple of thoughts about our acts of faith from my hens. Those eggs we think we laid may need a little time. My single greatest challenge is waiting. Just waiting. I have an idea that I am certain came from God. You do too. So you act on it. And nothing. So you are disappointed and drop the whole thing. Move on.

Then one day someone tells you they are hard at work on the God thing you proposed. They say the thing inspired them. They let it cook a while and then served it up - delicious and savory results that are pleasing to God. This very thing happened to me just yesterday with Hanamel. (I might tell that tale tomorrow.) It took a while for that egg to become fried chicken but Lordy! It was worth the wait.

Back to the molting. Molting is the season when the hens replace their feathers. The old feathers fall out and the hens use all of their resources, their protein mostly, to produce new feathers. They don't lay eggs while molting. They can't. They have to take care of themselves before they can resume their work.

All this to say that you and I must learn the lesson of the hens. The season comes when we have to step back a few days and take care of ourselves so that we will be ready for the next glorious work God has planned for us. We are under no burden to rush the results. We, of all people, literally have eternity.

So children, be good to yourself. Rest up. Take care of yourselves. Hard work of the most rewarding sort lies before us. We want to be ready.

Soon enough that egg will be ready to cook. Healthy people will know the time when they see it. They will be equipped to smile and confidently say "scrambled or fried?"

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shaikhsanaaaa · 2 years

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Home

Google defines home “as a place where one resides”. But really, is that all a home is? Over the past few years, I’ve come to realise that a home is so much more than just four walls. It’s not merely a place where we eat, sleep and live. Home is a feeling. An intangible, inexplicable feeling, which doesn’t just apply to brick and mortar structures, but to anything that gives you a sense of belonging.

If you’re here expecting an artistic, thought-provoking piece about homeliness, I’m afraid you’re in the wrong place. This piece isn’t filled with inspiring quotes or motivational words. In fact, it reads like a personal blog. But with this piece, I’m trying to make sense of the plethora of feelings that are burdening my mind and heart, and I know only one way of doing that: writing.

It is safe to say that my life turned topsy-turvy since I found out that I have to switch cities at the end of the year. It came as a shock, and for the longest time, I was in denial, absolutely refusing to believe that all the comfort I had grown used in Mumbai was suddenly being snatched away from me. Change isn’t pleasant; and most of the times, it’s unexpected. The thought of losing touch with this city that is beautiful in its own right, was a thought too heavy to bear.

Mumbai is one of India’s biggest and most commercialised cities, yet it has a way of warmly, slowly, and astonishingly making you fall in love with it. A realisation that hit me as I prepared myself to bid adieu to this glorious city was that parts of me had gotten accustomed to everything about it, even the long, tiresome and heavily crowded roads, the dusty air, the unceasing sounds, and the excruciating heat.

If there’s one thing that Mumbai has taught me, it’s that peace can be found anywhere, if you look hard enough for it; even in bustling, fast-moving and populous places. Mumbai is the city that never sleeps. It doesn’t stop, or slow for anyone. It pushes you right in the current, forcing you to carve your own way out. It outlives and outgrows you. But the joy of living in Mumbai is unrivalled. It’s an emotion you can never feel, unless you experience life in Mumbai. It sure has its flaws, but what doesn’t?

Mumbai is my home, and no matter where I am in this world, it always will be. Nostalgia will always hit me when i think or talk of this city, and in this very moment, as i sit in my empty bedroom, i realise more than ever, that you can take the girl out of Mumbai, but you can’t take Mumbai out of the girl.

#mumbai #nostalgia #teen writer #thoughts #ramblings #i miss home

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self-indulgent-imagination · 3 years

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November, 2017

Warning(s): insecurities related to motherhood, reader is basically a single mom

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Dear Steve,

I’m so sorry, my love, that I couldn’t write last month. I was quite busy, and tired, and every time I held the pen in my hand to write to you, I inadvertently fell asleep with my cheek on the paper. You will forgive me though, won’t you, my darling?

James has finally begun to sleep through the night. Sometimes. He tries to lift his head when he rolls on his tummy, and looks at me so expectantly with your eyes when I’m about to pick him up. And Stevie, oh my God, Stevie, he just giggled! With a sound! I’m recording it. Oh, Stevie, you’re going to love his beautiful little laugh. I wish I could sit by his side, or with him in my lap and make him smile and giggle for the rest of my life, because it is the most precious thing in the world, his laugh!

But I haven’t told you yet, have I? I can’t stay by his side all the time, because I’ve started school again, Stevie. I have other seven and eight-year olds to take care of now, again. And as much as I love our Jamie, I love teaching children too. You knew that when you decided to be with me, didn’t you, Stevie? You won’t blame me if I have to keep James in a creche for a few hours or hire a nanny, will you? No, I know you. You will surely understand. After all, I have a kid to support now, too. Our child. I have to work, Steve.

Am I a bad mother, Steve? For leaving him alone. And sometimes, I can’t soothe him when he cries through the night, and my mom will hold him for five minutes and he will quietly fall asleep. Am I doing something wrong, Steve? Oh God, what if I turn out to be a terrible mother and he ends up hating me? You’ll take care of him, then, won’t you? You’ll tell him that his mama tried her best, even if it wasn’t good enough, won’t you?

Oh, Stevie, why aren’t you here? Right, right, I’m sorry, I did promise I wouldn’t say that again. And as much as I hate to think this, you probably aren’t getting these letters. Because I know you, Stevie, and I know that you would’ve found a way to tell me you were fine if you’d read my words. But don’t worry, my love, I’ll keep writing them until you come back and read them and come home to me. No, until you come home to us.

We miss you so much, Stevie. Even our Jamie, who has never met you but looks at your picture in my phone and on our bedside with eyes as big as saucers, when I tell him the stories of his dada. I love you, Stevie. We love you. come back to us safe and sound, my love. Please, please, please take care of yourself.

With all our love,

Y/N and James

P.S: His laughter is the most glorious sound on the earth, isn’t it!?

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A/N: hey guys! so i'm back after quite a bit of time. i haven't had much inspiration to write lately, so don't know how good this will be, but here ya go!

also, would like to say something which i think is rather important. through this chapter, i only wish to convey the insecurities that come with motherhood, especially when you are a working, single parent with the other parent to help you out and take away some of your burden. this is by no means a commentary on y/n's parenthood skills. personally, i think she's a great mother. but to me, y/n is also a slight overthinker, and she can tend to be insecure about some things. for example, in the beginning, she was a bit insecure about steve and her, thinking that she will be imposing if she told him what she really thought of the situation. but here's the thing, y/n is growing as a person. we can't witness that, bc our only glimpses of her are through the letters that she writes, and she doesn't write all that much about stuff that is going on in her life, the small incidences which end up shaping your personality.

but, ok, back to the topic. i just want to portray the pressure that a woman (or even a man, ig) might experience bc of societal expectations. women are expected to be maternal creatures, putting that instinct before everything, and bc that is something that isn't generally explicitly told but something that we witness in our lives, or see through the media we consume, it leads to an undue pressure, one, for a maternal instinct, two, for taking care of the child. unknowingly, y/n has fallen a victim to that. if she were an outsider in the same situation, she would've done her utmost to assure the person that they're doing a great job, but bc it's about her, she can't see that and ends up feeling guilty.

yeah, that's it. thank you for attending my ted talk!

anyway, hope y'all liked it! send some comments my way telling me what you thought... the parts you liked, the parts you didn't, anything!

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January, 2018

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Taglist: @austynparksandpizza

#steve rogers x reader #captain america x reader #captain america x you #steve rogers x you #mcu fanfic #steve rogers reader insert #captain america reader insert #single mom reader (basically)#motherhood related anxities #insecurity regarding motherhood #steve rogers #captain america #love letters #epistolary #epistolary love

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kingtwolf-fang · 3 years

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Giddy Tricks With Loki

A deity I have been on a journey with lately is Loki. I started working with Loki at the beginning of 2021. I have always been a fan of one one of the most iconic Norse gods as well as one of the most iconic characters to ever grace the Marvel universe. God of Mischief and brother to Thor, Loki's tricks and schemes wreak havoc across the realms. Loki, Prince of Asgard, Odinson, rightful heir of Jotunheim, and God of Mischief, is burdened with glorious purpose. Every deity has their way of presenting themselves to individuals they feel worthy to work with them. After studying the history of Loki I knew that building a alter with a offering was not the way to go about seeking his attention. My way of reaching out was through music my music. I share on various social media platforms that I am a musician, a artist film composer and instrumentalist for Disney/ABC. I have been working on the Loki soundtrack for the series that will be released this summer. Preparing for this album was not a walk on the golden bridge of Asgard. I have a philosophy that in order to be at peace with being misunderstood you should study the already misunderstood. My whole life I have felt that way. Who understands that more than Loki. 2020 my depression had over stayed It’s welcome. I had reached the threshold of. It wanting to write music. I also rejected the offer to work on this album. After watching all the Marvel movies I could that featured Loki I owed it to myself to create music for this series. The process started how it always started me sitting in silence in the studio all alone just thinking about the instruments I wanted to use, what sounds represent Loki. I created a list of those who I thought would understand my vision. I had to re brand myself because I understood the sound I was going to create wasn’t going to sound similar to anything I have created. I look back at it and now I understand why I went to the depression and the dark phases I endured in 2020 it was preparing me for this. Night by night while asleep my dreams would guide me to what was pleasing toward the god of mischief. Night by night I would receive signs on the way home that the formula I created was bring me closer and closer to Loki. “Iced Heart” the first single we are releasing from the Loki soundtrack . Several times I was asking what would Loki do while trying to perfect the sound I wanted. The inspiration for this was understanding the anger Loki held from the cinemas perspective. The feeling of being misunderstood his whole life. Each time in the studio I felt a presence of another realm that I have never felt before. I knew I had manifested what I wanted answers from Loki. Mischief I had managed to get into with work relations lately there was a spirit that reassured me that if I play my cards with strategy that the deal would win in my favor. At first I assumed it was my spirit guide, but the presence was much deity like. I believe that this just the beginning of my journey with Loki, I anticipate so much to come for the future.

#lokiseries #loki #loki marvel #god of mischief #loki of asgard #loki odinson

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mskatesharma · 3 years

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she only smiles, i laugh

Anthony is in his study, sitting at his desk reading over invoices that have been marked for his attention, his eyes struggling to take in the numbers he is supposed to be adding. He wonders for a moment why his mind seems stuck on the numbers, unable to properly take them in, before he shakes his head and tries to move on. It’s only once he has finally finished reviewing the particular details of this one invoice that he realises his lack of concentration is due to him feeling restless.

He closes his eyes for a moment, hoping it will focus him, when his mind, quite without his permission, wanders back to two days ago. He had been keeping Kate company while she lay in bed, her injured leg propped up on a small mound of cushions. It had been the most pleasant interlude, his head resting in his wife’s lap, her fingers idly stroking through his hair while she read from a novel Edwina had left that morning.

ao3 link or under the cut

He can’t recall the title of the book, but he remembers how he had closed his eyes, relaxing further and further into a state of glorious idleness with every press of his wife’s fingers against his scalp; her voice dulcet and hypnotising as she curled her tongue around the words in front of her. Something unfamiliar, yet wholly marvelous had sparked in his spine, tingling up until it had burst and he had felt it throughout his body, each stroke of Kate’s fingers further etching the feeling to his body.

There had been one passage in particular, Kate’s fingers had migrated to his earlobe, massaging the soft flesh, that had made Anthony snap open his eyes and ask his wife to repeat the last sentence. She had looked down at him, brows raised quizzically, and she had smiled at his quiet “please” as he had taken the hand that had been preoccupied with his ear and pressed a kiss to her fingers.

“I am the happiest creature in the world. Perhaps other people have said so before, but not one with such justice. I am happier even than Jane; she only smiles, I laugh.” As Kate’s voice had washed over him, he had been immediately struck by the truth of the words, and how they very much applied to him and his life.

“You look a little dazed my dear, is there something I can help you with?” His wife had worn a teasing glint as her voice whispered through his thoughts, and before Anthony could reply, she continued. “Has Miss Austen’s writing affected you in a peculiar manner?”

His stifled smile had felt petulant as he muttered “no” under his breath, unable to maintain a frown when Kate had snorted, as though she was quite right in not believing what he was saying. Which she was, of course, but Anthony didn’t have to tell her that.

“Are you sure? I can read the passage for a third time if it would help your current confusion?” Her smile had been wide, as her voice had taken an officious tone. “One must share with their wife, especially when unable to decipher a deeply felt emotion. I can help you find the words to best describe the feeling that has you smiling so wonderfully.”

“I have no doubt that you could help, dearest Kate, but I have no need for a dictionary at this moment. Unless you require use of one?”

“I have an inkling of why exactly you have been affected so. If you like, I would be happy to enlighten you on…” Her voice trailed off as Anthony had flipped himself onto his stomach, and he was certain that he must have done a poor job hiding the devilish glint in his eyes. “What are you doing?” His hands had begun to gently bunch her dress up her legs, careful of her leg, his mouth ghosting kisses where the material had sat a moment ago.

“What do you think I am doing?”

“I think my hus-..husband is trying to distract me.”

A muffled “don’t know what you’re talking abou-” was all Anthony could say. He heard a soft thud on the bed as Kate had dropped the book. A gentle bite to the soft flesh of her thigh, and he allows himself to smirk against her skin as a hand tangles itself in his hair.

“I will remember..you haven’t...you haven’t won... ”

Anthony’s “of course not” are the last words spoken for quite some time.

But as he sits at his desk, two days later, he remembers again why he had been struck by that sentence, why it had seemingly affected him so much. He merely needs to think of Kate for the same wonderfully strange feeling to burst in his body. But as he thinks on it some more, there is still something he cannot not quite place…

He can’t help but smile as he remembers how pleasant the rest of that afternoon had turned out to be. He had quite forgotten about his temporary foolishness; the uncharacteristic shyness he had felt in the moment, feeling so overcome, so reticent in fact he had hesitated and had been unable to share with Kate. Distraction once again proving the only way to quiet her enquiries. At least for the afternoon.

But as he looks around his study, his gaze settles on something just right of the window, and he thinks that maybe now that he knows why he was hesitant, his mind will not rest until he recalls a particular word.

He stands and makes his way to the small pile of books by the window, leftover from earlier in the week, when Hyacinth had called in with his mother and demanded his assistance in compiling a list of uncommon and unusual words. He picks up a notebook she had left behind, and flicks through until he lands on the page he is looking for; a list of words Colin has collected so far on his travels.

His eyes scan until he finds the word he is looking for. There is a slight clench of his heart as he recalls Hyacinth recollecting what Colin had told her, and how he came to know the word. The roll of his eyes is involuntary as the grin spreads across his face. But of course.

He walks into the drawing room, having just bid goodbye to Eloise and Edwina, and sees Kate leisurely leafing through the same book as their pleasant interlude from two days earlier.

She sits with her legs atop the settee, a cushion under her healing one. Her face lights up at him, and Anthony is positive his face reciprocates in kind; he knows his heart certainly does. He will never tire of her smile; where he may have once resented the feelings it inspired in him, now it is all he can do to revel in it.

He makes his way to Kate’s side, and sits impossibly close to her, his head resting on her shoulder. He spies Newton, his purred snores drifting up from beneath the table. His eyes move to the pages in his wife’s hands, following the words on the page.

He feels Kate’s head rest on his, and realises the restlessness he had been experiencing a moment ago in his study has disappeared. He will never cease to be in awe at how simply his wife’s presence is the most soothing balm. Anthony feels himself sigh when Kate speaks.

“Tell me my Lord Bridgerton, do you now feel comfortable telling me what had you so enthralled when I read to you the other day? My current disposition finds me most generous, and I may grant you a boon if you choose to share with me.” He lifts his head, which forces Kate to do the same, and he shifts his body to face her.

“Hm, that is a most tempting prospect, but I do find myself hesitating to accept.”

She scoffs. “I find that hard to believe.” Before she can question him further, Anthony stands, and as gently as he can, lifts Kate’s legs before he sits on the sofa, and carefully places her legs over his thighs.

“Is that so? Would it pacify you to know that you inspired the feeling that caused me to be overcome by a sudden bashfulness?” He shuffles closer still, until Kate is sitting on his lap, her legs stretched out on the rest of the settee.

“That, my lord, appeared most obvious.”

“Really?” His hand begins to make its way under her dress, his fingers tracing circles on her skin.

“Hmm, yes.”

“Should I tell you, then, the thought caused my shyness the other day?”

“As my husband, it is your duty to share with me the emotional burdens you face.”

“And what will you grant me in return?”

“Well, what would you like to be granted?”

“For what I have to say? A kiss would be an appropriate boon.”

“I think that could be arranged.”

He leans his face closer to hers, his lips brushing against hers as he murmurs “my most sincere thanks.” Just as he opens his mouth to deepen the kiss, Kate pulls back.

“For shame my lord; I will grant you your boon only after you tell me what was on your mind.”

Anthony clears his throat. “My apologies, but you inspire the most forceful distraction in me.” Kate simply rolls her eyes in response, but the beaming smile that breaks over her face tells Anthony all that he needs to know. “Tell me, dear wife, do you know of the word ataraxia?”

Anthony nuzzles his wife’s neck, pressing light kisses against the skin, breathing in the ever present soap and lillies. “Hmm, not that I can immediately recall.”

“Would you be interested to know that it is a Greek word.” His mouth finds her earlobe.

“Oh, how fascinating.”

“Indeed. Would you like to know it’s definition?” He tugs her lobe between his teeth, pulling softly.

“Well you have certainly piqued my intrigue.”

Anthony pulls back slightly. “According to Colin, it means a state of serene and blissful calmness.”

“How interesting.”

“I think so.” His other hand finds its way to her hair, gently tugging some of it free from her simple coiffure.

“And what, praytell, does this have to do with your sudden bashfulness?”

“Do you really not know?” He wraps the strands around his fingers.

“I find myself needing you to tell me explicitly.” He smiles against her neck.

“Well, let me make myself clear. You, my dearest Kate, and being with you, inspire a state of serene and blissful calmness that I never thought possible.” He pulls back slightly, wanting to see her face, and he’s unsurprised by the warmth infused in her face, or the tears pooling in her eyes.

“Oh.” Her voice catches on the word, and something blooms ever brighter in Anthony’s chest. “You’re the same for me, you know.” The words are quiet, but they light something quite fierce within him.

He lowers his voice. “Do you give me permission to claim my promised boon now?”

“If you have need of that question, maybe I should reconsid-'' He doesn’t let her finish as his lips descend on hers, and Anthony feels her smile against him.

And really, he knows it’s a game of push and pull that they play, and that she is the only opponent he ever wishes to face in such a fight. He knows that they both win when their respective battles end with one of his hands tangled in his wife’s hair and the other up the skirt of her dress.

And while he’s also certain of the fact that he will never experience another bliss quite like this one, he knows it is more than he ever could have hoped for.

ataraxia (greek, noun.): the state of serene and blissful calmness

#kathony #anthony x kate #kate x anthony #anthony bridgerton #kate sheffield #kate sharma #kathony fic #kanthony #bridgerton fic #bridgerton fanfiction #my fic #im not really happy with it but had to post it before it annoyed me even more #hopefully it’s not as bad as i think it is #started with one of those uncommon words posts and now we’re here

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lowkeyorloki · 4 years

Text

Masterlist!

I just spent the last three hours rebooting my masterlist to make sure it’s tidy, legible, and updated! It looks completely different and I’m really happy with it. There’s a link to it on my blog, but to anyone who may want it in the form of a textpost, I’ve done that for y’all too. Hope this is helpful to someone out there :)

In each section (one-shots, headcanons, and multi-chapters), the most recent works are at the top. This means the further you go down, the older the fics become. I have written multiple drabbles on this blog, but they are not included on my masterlist. Just search ‘drabble’ on my blog and they’ll come up.

As of 2020, my imagines do not use any type of pronouns or biological descriptions (i.e, breasts or genitalia) unless the fic is smut. This is to make my work as inclusive as I can.

Last updated: July 16th, 2020

🌶️ means the fic contains smut. PLEASE only consume if you are 18+

⭐ means the piece is one of my personal favorites

Enjoy 🐍

One-Shots

Glass Warrior- 🌶️

You’re so beautiful, and so breakable. Loki would never forgive himself if he hurt you.

Dove

You begin to question the nature of your relationship with Loki as he calls you sweet names and looks at you with soft eyes.

Stay Kind

As you lay dying in Loki’s arms, you work up the strength to tell him one final thing.

Wounds- ⭐

You’re injured, and Loki shows a new side of himself as he nurses you back to health.

True Form

You’re intent on seeing Loki’s Jotunn side, even if he doesn’t want you to.

Release- 🌶️

A sensual situation from our favorite god’s point of view.

lbd- 🌶️⭐

After a fight with Loki, you wear the smallest dress you can to an Avengers press event.

Aftermath- ⭐

Loki always hated weakness. Because of this, you try to remain strong- even after being kidnapped.

Wine Drunk

The Asgardian wine Sif gave you is stronger than anything Tony Stark has in his liquor cabinet.

Tell Me You Love Me

You know it’s hard for Loki to be vulnerable, but sometimes, you need to hear those three words too.

An Heir

You have an honest conversation with Loki about the possibility of children.

3:33 In the Morning

You comfort Loki after a nightmare.

Steve

Loki experiences jealousy over a certain one of your past lovers.

Loki’s Perspective- 🌶️⭐

We always read about your first time with Loki through your eyes, but what is Loki thinking?

Phantom Pains

Loki can’t get his encounter with Thanos out of his mind.

Not the First, But the Last- ⭐

You ask Loki about his previous loves on Asgard.

A Different Loki

After Loki’s death in Infinity War, you awake to see him standing next to your bed… and it isn’t a dream.

Snapshots- ⭐

Having moments with Loki isn’t all that it seems.

The Wading Pools

Loki takes you to one of his favorite places in Asgard.

The Other Brother- ⭐

We all tell the story your romance with Loki through his eyes or your own. But what does it look like to the only other person who loves Loki as much as you do?

Scars

Loki returns from the events of Ragnorak after leaving you without a word, and finds you look different than he remembers.

Not His Tricks, Not This Time

After having a dream that may be telling of the future, Loki begins to train with you and become protective.

A Proposition

Loki is at a bar trying to forget you when a woman approaches him.

Blood

Loki awakes looking as perfect as ever- except for his bedhead, that is.

His Eyes- ⭐

After having a dream that may be telling of the future, Loki begins to train with you and becomes protective.

Through Loki’s Eyes- 🌶️⭐

Loki is so guarded around you. Now you can find out why.

Erstwhile- ⭐

You’re different than all the other girls Loki has been with. You’re sure of it.

Professor! Loki x You

A fun AU where Professor Laufeyson invites you to dinner, as he knows how bad the dorm food can be.

Burdened With Glorious Purpose- ⭐

Loki doesn’t have anything he came down to Midgard for. But he has you.

Bait

Villains have started to get wind of how much you matter to Loki, and soon enough, one takes you.

Power

Loki gets candid with his love for you.

Cruel

You’re engaged to Thor but in love with Loki, and it’s hard for both of you.

The First Time- 🌶️

You lose your midgardian virginity to Loki.

Heritage

After Thor’s banishment in the first “Thor”, you confront Odin about lying to his second-born son.

Hate Unguarded

You promise Loki his Jotunn form does nothing to deter you.

What Now?

You ask Professor Laufeyson what will become of the two of you now that classes are over.

I Can’t- ⭐

Loki never wanted to fall in love with you. He isn’t sure how to handle it.

Gone

Loki is a god, and you were always immortal. This was always going to happen.

Shrouded Secrets- ⭐

This is what being in a forbidden relationship with Loki entails.

Warrior

Loki patches up you, his Asguardian lover lover after a battle.

Soulmates (?)

Loki doesn’t believe in soulmates. He does believe, however, in choice.

The Battle of NYC- 🌶️⭐

You’re an Avengers, tasked with protecting the citizens of New York as Loki and the Chituari attack. You find Loki on the ground- but fighting doesn’t seem to be where your head is right now.

What Loki Learned For You

Deaf! reader x Loki request where he learns sign language.

Sleepy Mornings

Loki is cuddly when he first wakes up.

Replacement

A fic inspired by the slander that was Infinity War to MAKE EVERYTHING OKAY.

Get It Together, Laufeyson

Loki isn’t sure how to tell you his true feelings, so he goes to Thor and Valkyrie for help.

I Thought You Were Dead

Loki is overcome with relief after you return to Avengers Tower.

The Throne- 🌶️⭐ (for a version with he/him pronouns, go here)

Loki sits on the throne of Asgard, and it’s everything he ever wanted- you decide to make his fantasy even better.

Loki and Lightning

For Loki, lightning brings less than pleasant memories.

Mythology Nerd

As someone who has loved and studies Norse myths for as long as you can remember, you’re thrilled to meet Loki- not that you would want him to know that, of course.

I’m Not Like Thor- 🌶️

Years of being compared to his older brother have taken a toll on Loki.

Thor’s a Flirt- 🌶️

…and he really should have known better than to court you in front of Loki.

Bullets

You and Loki gradually grow closer and closer.

Loki x Plus Size! Reader- 🌶️

Loki is more than willing to show you how truly beautiful you are.

Five Kisses

Five different types of kisses, each to prove your love.

Charity Event

Stark is always forcing the team to smile for the cameras, but the world hasn’t been accepting of the love you found with Loki.

Nightmares

This is the fic that put me on the map! Loki suffers from nightmares, and you only acknowledge each other at night.

Friday Nights- 🌶️

Loki comes to your apartment every Friday- in multiple meanings of the word.

Kiss Me

Both you and Loki know he loves you, but he won’t say it.

Realizations

As you and Loki grow closer and closer, he notices the shift in his true emotions towards you.

Headcanons

Loki Gets Headaches After NYC- ⭐

Sensual Loki Headcanons- 🌶️

Misc. Loki and Loki x Reader

Loki’s Vices- ⭐

Domestic! Loki Headcanons- ⭐

Random Loki and Loki x Reader- ⭐

Loki and Reader Meeting In the Avengers Compound

Taking A Bath With Loki After A Long Day- 🌶️

Loki’s Jotunn Form Provides Him With High Levels of Stamina- 🌶️

Friends With Benefits to Lovers With Loki- 🌶️

Loki After An Argument- ⭐

Loki’s Favorite Positions- ⭐

Being Pregnant With Loki’s Child Would Include

Does Loki Like Vocal Girls?- 🌶️

Losing Your Virginity To Loki (Established Realtionship)- 🌶️

Dating Loki Headcanons

Multi-Chapters

These are all stories I started when I was a lot younger. They won’t ever be completed, but I have left them up because people enjoy the little there is!

Betrothed: 1, 2, and 3

You and Thor are engaged, but it’s Loki you’re in love with.

Lugh: 1 and 2

Loki died, leaving you to raise your child he never got to know about alone. But then, Loki shows up on your doorstep, and neither of you know where to go from there.

She Shall Have

She Shall Have is a multi-chapter I started on tumblr but moved to ao3, where it is now updated every Saturday. It is the fic I am the most proud of, and I am SUPER passionate and excited about it!

Chapters 1, 2, and 3 can be found here on this blog. It is continued on my ao3, where I write under the pseud lowkeyorloki. Check it out and come say hi!

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morning-walk · 3 years

Text

I just came in from my morning walk.

My devotions led me to this.

Chickens molt.

I hasten to add that the above statement isn't taken from the Book. Not directly. It is an observation - and a fact.

And they lay eggs.

In the sometimes weird language we use, to "lay an egg" means you don't produce anything. It evidently comes from the shape of the egg, sort of round, which suggests a zero. So if a football team lays an egg it has done badly. Same with a sermon. On Monday mornings I pull out my notes for the previous day's sermon and jot down my feelings. With disturbing regularity I write "laid an egg" or "this turkey didn't fly".

But that's a different bird.

A couple of thoughts about our acts of faith I filtered from my hens. Those eggs we think we laid may need a little time. My single greatest challenge is waiting. Just waiting. I have an idea that I am certain came from God. You do too. So you act on it. And nothing. So you are disappointed and drop the whole thing. Move on.

Then one day someone tells you they are hard at work on the God thing you proposed. They say the thing inspired them. They let it cook a while and then served it up, delicious and savory results that are pleasing. It took a while for that egg to become fried chicken but Lordy! It was worth the wait.

So children, be good to yourself. Rest up. Take care of yourselves. Hard work of the most rewarding sort lies before us. We want to be ready.

Soon enough that egg will be ready to cook. Healthy people will know the time when they see it. They will be equipped to smile and say "scrambled or fried?"

Your move.

Brother Pat

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miracul0us-multishipper · 4 years

Text

Deal with the Devil

(Marillion AU)

This is a part shortly after “The collector”. Since this is more of a loose AU than a coherent fic, I’ve decided that I don’t need to write in chronological order.

- - -

“Good. It seems like you decided to follow my invitation.”

She whirled around, cane at the ready and her free hand raised to summon a butterfly if necessary. Thanks to Nooroo’s affinity to moths, her eyes could see even in the darkest night and she recognized the figure approaching her immediately.

“Gabriel Agreste?”

This is it, Marillion thought, I’ve officially gone mad.

Not only did she follow a mysterious invitation to this godforsaken place in the middle of the night, now she was already hallucinating. Everybody knew that Gabriel Agreste never left his home. Why would he abandon his fortress of solitude for Paris' Number One Enemy?

“I apologize for the secrecy.”, he answered unperturbed. “Surely you understand how unfortunate it would be to be seen in public. People of our... standing would certainly attract too much attention.”

That was when it really hit her. She wasn’t hallucinating. She was here. With Gabriel Agreste. Her greatest idol. Father of her crush. And she didn’t even have her portfolio with her.

“Monsieur Agreste!”, she repeated, all but squealed. “What- I didn’t expect- Why are you-“

He raised a hand and her mouth snapped shut. God, she hadn’t even been here for a minute and was already embarrassing herself.

“You must have many questions, Mademoiselle Marillion – as do I. If you don’t mind, I would prefer to continue this conversation somewhere... safer.”

He turned around and glanced back at her.

“We wouldn’t want your spotted little friend to cause us any trouble, now, would we?”

She hurried to nod and stumbled after him, through what looked like a secret door in the garden wall of the Agreste Mansion. Under normal circumstances she would have paid that detail a little more attention – who the hell had a secret door in their backyard?! – but these weren’t normal circumstances. She was being invited into the home of her idols. By Gabriel. Freaking. Agreste.

Who cared about some weird gimmicks?

“Monsieur,” she finally managed to regain her voice. “I’m afraid I still don’t understand- not that I’m not honored by your invitation, I really am! But... well, most people agree that I am a threat. Why would you want to meet me?”

The fashion designer didn’t slow his steps and she almost had to run to keep up.

“Most people,” he rebuked distantly, “don’t pay as much attention as I do. And I did not come this far by caving to what 'most people' think.”

She mentally kicked herself.

“O-of course, Monsieur. I’d didn’t mean to imply- Wait.”

She froze and Agreste reluctantly came to a stop as well.

“Does that mean you... you believe me?”

If it weren’t so dark, her eyes would be shining with hope.

“You believe that I’m one of the good guys?”

“No.”, he said coldly, crushing her hopes and dreams in an instant. But before she could excuse herself to wallow in self pity – or cry – his expression softened and he placed his palm on the wall in front of him. A line of green light ran over his hand print and a mechanism beeped in confirmation, then the wall slid open to reveal another secret door.

“I believe that you are the hero.”, he finished and stepped aside. “After you.”

Awestruck she followed his command and entered the lair. Because that’s what it was: a lair. The most glorious lair she’d ever seen.

A huge, circular window allowed the moonlight to flood the room, it’s butterfly-shaped inlay casting shadows on the floor. Which was almost invisible from the amount of white butterflies resting on the ground, slowly fluttering their wings as they reacted to her presence.

“This place used to be an observatory.”, Agreste explained as he followed after her. “My late wife's favorite hideout. We are directly at the center of the twenty-first Arrondissement; which means your akumas can easily reach every corner of the area. The security measures are state-of-the-art and will deter any intruder, whether they are merely civilian or another miraculous wielder.”

She couldn’t listen properly, too busy gaping at the room. Agreste talked on, undeterred by her lack of manners.

“The window will be covered by a rocket-proof shutter most of the time, as not to alert anyone of its... rather obvious design. But I couldn’t resist to add it either way. Just in case that one day, after you have defeated Ladybird, you won’t have to hide your symbol anymore.”

This was all... too much. She couldn’t possibly keep up with everything.

“I-I'm sorry,” she stammered out, “Monsieur Agreste, what is this supposed to mean?”

He smiled at her. The cold, stoic Gabriel Agreste, who rarely even showed affection to his own son, smiled at her. With a fatherly touch of her shoulder, he turned her towards the window.

“It means,” he said softly, “that all this is yours – built just for you, to let you reach your full potential. If you chose to accept my help, that is.”

Impossible. Utterly and completely impossible. Marinette Dupain-Cheng could never ever possibly be this lucky.

Thank you, she wanted to say, thank you a thousand times. I am honored.

“Why?”, was what came out of her mouth instead. Quite rudely, for such a miraculously generous offer.

Agreste stepped around her and in front of the window.

“Because you have inspired me, Mademoiselle. There are far too little people who would risk the animosity of an entire city, even for the most noble cause. You and me, we are the same in that.”

She had to suppress a squeal. Gabriel Agreste really thought so highly of her?!

“We would do everything, risk everything to do the right thing. To help the people we love.”

He looked into the distance, his expression hardening.

“But there will always be others who cannot understand this. Like Ladybird and Chat Noir, who never look beyond their own, selfish desires.”

A grim, gleeful relief flooded her. He got it. He wasn’t blinded by Ladybird's fame, he could see through it. Finally, finally, someone truly saw things her way.

“They just don’t listen!”, she raged, feeling like a weight had fallen off her chest. “They act like- like I'm some kind of terrorist! I am helping people! They only ever get in my way, but they get to call themselves heroes? If it weren’t for me, they would have torn Paris to pieces in their arrogance! They're so incompetent it physically pains me.”

“No one knows that better than me.”, Agreste agreed with a nod. “And I do not presume to understand just how tiresome that must be for you. But maybe you should consider that there is more to them than incompetence.”

She visibly deflated.

“More...?”

His face was grim when he turned to her.

“Ladybird and Chat Noir,” he said seriously, “are dangerous.”

Huh?

“Think about it.”, he implored, eyes blazing with an eager determination. “They wield the most powerful artifacts in human history. They have the support of a guardian, maybe even his entire order. And once he begins training them, they will have nearly unlimited backup.”

He put his hands on her shoulder, almost apologetically. As if placing a heavy burden on them.

“You have seen how they wield their powers yourself. Who knows what will happen once they have even more? Nobody knows their true goals, after all. You aren’t hurting anybody, so what are they really trying to accomplish?”

He shook his head.

“Right now, the only thing standing between Paris and the mayhem they will cause... is you.”

Marillion almost thought he was being overly dramatic, but then thought of everything else he had said. Agreste knew so much already, had gotten so much right no one had even bothered to think about before. If he was this confident, then by all means, he had to be right.

“Monsieur, I am... I am incredibly happy that you believe in me.”, she finally managed to get her feelings out. “And all this is just- it’s incredible. Thank you.”

It had been her and Nooroo, all this time, and while they made a great team, they were both... helpless from time to time. Not sure of their decisions, their abilities. And while she would never risk Nooroo's safety, she... she just really wanted an adult to talk to. Someone who could tell her what to do, with all this mess. She was just fourteen, for gods sake!

How often had she agonized about not being able to talk to her parents? How often had she been forced to lie to them, the people she trusted most? The people who always had her back, who only ever wanted to support her?

She swallowed.

How often had she had endure their fear? Of Marillion, of her? The people she loved the most were scared of her Alter Ego, didn’t understand her, couldn’t help her.

But now Gabriel Agreste – her idol, her role model! – offered her his unconditional trust and support. Told her she inspired him!

“I'm just- I don’t have anybody.”, she tried to put her feelings into words. “Ladybird and Chat Noir have each other, and their guardian, and the hearts of every Parisian. And I try so hard to get things right, be there for everybody, but I have no idea what I’m doing most of the time. To know that you think me to... to be all these great things, that you built all this” – she gestured around the room – “for me... it means so much to me.”

He smiled.

“You won't have to carry this burden on your own anymore. My means and knowledge are at your disposal, and you will find that I am a very reliable ally. I will help you figure out how to defeat them – and how to contain their miraculous, afterwards.”

Marillion blinked. She'd never... thought that far ahead.

“To contain their miraculous'?”

“Of course. We don’t want them to fall into the wrong hands, do we?”

Hastily, she nodded. Of course not! She felt stupid for not even having thought of what came afterwards.

“Or to let the guardian reclaim them.”, she added, mostly because she didn’t want Agreste to think she was an idiot. “He'd only reseal their Kwamis and try again, with a new enemy.”

A secretive smile crept on Monsieur Agreste's face – who would have thought he could smile that often?

“Naturally. But you should know that I am prepared for any eventuality.”

He reached for his tablet and showed her the display. It showed...

“Miraculous'!”, she gasped. Pages and pages full of Miraculous', and their respective heroes. There were words written next to them, a script that was more code than language.

“What is this?”

“A book. An encyclopedia of Heroes, containing all their strengths and weaknesses. Not to forget the guides to create potions and spells. The knowledge it provides can give you a variety of new abilities, or significantly weaken your opponents.”

He shut off the device and turned away.

“It used to be mine. But somehow, Ladybird and Chat Noir managed to steal it from me. There is no doubt that they are preparing something nefarious to use against you.”

The knowledge that something like this book existed, and was currently in the hands of her enemies, settled in her guts like a stone.

“Don’t be afraid.”, Agreste assured her quickly. “By the time they are successful, we will have found a way to counter them. With me at your side, you have nothing to fear.”

She looked up at him. In awe of his confidence, she allowed herself to voice the question that had nagged at her since the moment he had begun sharing his knowledge.

“How... do you know all this? About the book, the miraculous.”

He hadn’t even blinked when she had mentioned Kwamis. Obviously, he knew even more than he let on.

“Are you... are you a guardian?”

He looked back at her over his shoulder.

“Of course not,” he scoffed and she shrunk in on herself. “Or I would have found the miraculous ages ago!”

He noticed her embarrassment and immediately softened his features.

“I am merely someone with great interest in all magical knowledge. A scholar, so to speak.”

With a grim smile, he offered her his hand.

“And there is much I could learn from you. Almost as much as I could teach you. Are you ready to grow into the most powerful heroine there is, Marillion?”

She didn’t have to think about it. Ladybird won’t know what hit her.

“It will be my honor.”

That night, Marillion gained a secret base and a secretive ally.

And Gabriel Agreste, at last, regained control over the butterfly.

#miramu writes #marillion au #butterfly!marinette #ladybug!alya #marinette dupain cheng #gabriel agreste #hawkmoth #ml marinette #ml gabriel

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natsukitakama · 4 years

Note

Hi, it's long-distance relationship!anon ! I finally have a little request for Armin ! How about this : Reader is a foreign exchange student for this year, but has a little trouble adapting to the high school/college. Seeing this, Armin offers his help, and friendship (and more? 😎) begins to blossom from here =w=

Author note : Hello Long-distance relationship!Anon (definitely need to find something shorter lol) how are you ? ♡ damn , I giggle like a baby while reading this it sounds so cute, I hope I didn’t messed this request up. Armin si such a sweetheart how could we not fall in love for him ? This modern AU take place in Germany but I apologize cause I know anything in German so. If you enjoy this please let me know ! I need to apologize cause I’m super late for my request I’m so sorry it took me so long I was kinda busy but still. I hope you’ll enjoy this, let me know ♡

Warning : Fluffy request as usual / Armin being a little cutipie

I did write fully the study session since I was kinda inspired by it I hope you’re fine with that. Also I do not own that glorious gif of Armin, credit to the owner.

Masterlist

Anxious was the good word to define your currently mood, it was the first time you travelled far from your house without your parent. You never experienced something like this before, and you were kinda afraid cause it was a country you never travelled before.

You were an artist student and you decided to travel through Europe so you could study a new way to see your art. You were especially a fan of German’s romanticism, so you though studied art during one year or two won’t be so hard especially about something you craved for.

You decided to join the Shingeki College (I’m sorry couldn’t find a good name) in German, cause you heard a lot of good things about it. You were afraid you might not understand lesson but since it was a foreign college most of the lesson were in English so you were good.

Basically anything seemed to run its course, but that wasn’t that simple. Of course being the only one from your class to travel through German meaning you were most of the time on your own. It wasn’t like you were introvert or anything, but everyone seemed to have their own friends and the last thing you wanted was to stick your nose in friend’s groupe while they didn’t want you to.

So during the first month, you were totally on your own and you couldn’t help but felt lonely and started to regret your country’s choice. In face no matter how hard you tried you couldn’t integrate yourself with your class. You thought no one cared about you, at least that what you thought.

But someone did noticed you.

It’s been couple of days since Armin Arlet had his eyes on you, in fact one day you sat yourself next to him for an art history on twenties. He quickly noticed you were kinda shy and won’t start a conversation on your own, and as he was about to ask you something he was joined by Jean and his friends. He didn’t want to embarrass yourself by trying to talk to you while he was surrounded by people.

As a shy and calm person himself, he knows how hard it could be to make some friends while everyone seemed to not noticed you. So he promised himself to do everything in his power, to start a conversation with you and get to know you.

And that’s exactly what he did, it took benefit of a share-lesson you two have to make a move. Fortunately for him, he was alone on this hour so he knew he won’t be bother by anyone. So he walked close to you and asked for a sit close to you, at first you were taken appart cause no one ever asked to be with you.

But the man looked gentle so you let him not knowing what to do beside he may be your only chance to actually make friends so.

He sat beside you, and starting a talk with you it wasn’t very deep just a way to him to test the water. At first Armin talked about the current lesson, the teacher, what he really loved what he disliked about it, then when he saw you were kinda talkative he started to ask you question about yourself.

« I never saw you last year are you new ?

Yeah, I’m a foreign student I used to study in London but my college propose my to travel through Europe and I thought it could be a good idea to work a year here.

Have any second thought ?

We can say that … I just … I have troubled making new friends here it’s like everyone know each other already I don’t want to the third wheel or anything. In addition It’s the first time I travel on my own, and I can’t help but feel a bit homesick. I don’t what I told you that I’m probably bothering you I’m-

You don’t bother me quite the contrary I own you apologize

For what ? You’ve done nothing wrong

I kinda did, I saw you couple of times walking alone during class. I saw you have troubled making friends and I didn’t know what to do to help you. I should talk to you the second I saw you I’m sorry

You shouldn’t be sorry besides you’re here now thank you very much …?

Armin, My name is Armin Arlet what about you ?

I’m Y/N »

After your class, Armin proposed to study into library he then told you that if you ever need any help for a lesson or something you could always ask him.

You were so happy, finally you found someone to be with you it was such a relief for you. Of course you couldn’t just stick around with him just like that, but he sounded so friendly : maybe will be become a friend ?

Days after days you started to walk around with Armin, it was so easy to be with him. The man was genuinely interesting, he was nice alway happy to help. He was so curious, there are so many things he was curious about.

You couldn’t help but find it extremely cute, he has this smile when he was talking about something he loves and the way his eyes were so bright never failed to melt your heart.

You decided to keep this strange feeling on a side of your brain, for all you know it could have a significant other moreover the fact that he was kind with you doesn’t mean he was into you.

Armin sounded like a man who was genuinely kind to everyone, not only does he help you during your study with his note but he also introduced you to his friends. You became friends with most of them even with Armin’s best friends Mikasa and Eren (even if you didn’t understand their dynamic, they seemed good friends)

One day you asked him about it

« What do you mean « why am I friends with them ? »

I mean- don’t take me wrong they are incredible but… Eren has no chill I can’t count how many times he went on a fight because of something ridiculous especially with Jean and Mikasa … Well she literally sweat Eren I’m not even sure if she is interested on something who isn’t Eren’s related … And you … Well you are so kind … so sweet with everyone and so smart and courageous and and -»

You couldn’t finish your sentence cause you heard what seemed to be the sing of angel : Right in front of your face, you saw Armin holding himself as he was laughing. It wasn’t just some snorts you made when something was barely funny but you didn’t want to kill the mood, it was a real laugh, a cute one. You never heard something so pure and sweet at the same time. Then, when Armin was finally able to catch his breath, he started to reply back

« Well first thank you for that, but I don’t think I’m as brave as you thought I am. Nonetheless, I got your point we aren’t alike right ?

Yeah kinda, all of you are incredible but you are so different especially you, you’re the smartest one

Yeah about that, I’m gonna confess something to you but it’s gonna be a secret ok ?

Of course !

Alright, for a long time … As long as I can remember actually I always thought I did not deserve their friendship in fact they were always here to protect me… I-I used to be bullied when I was a kid you know ? I wasn’t the one to start a fight or to reply back, I always thought it was useless. And everytime, no matter what happened, Eren and Mikasa ran into me to protect me. I used to feel bad about it, like I was burden to them but then we went to college together and they made me realized how wrong I was. They never saw me as weak, they valued me they always did … Do you understand now ? People saw us individually when they should see us as a group »

To say you were breathless was an understatement, Armin always had this power to impress whenever he was talking about something deeply. You couldn’t help but feel a bit sad when he mentioned him being bullied, I mean who could hurt such a precious boy like him you wonder. But you got what he mean anyway. For a brief moment, you felt bad for judging his friends and you wonder if he was disappointed by your behavior.

But when he asked you for a study session on Saturday, you realized how wrong you were : Of course Armin won’t be sad for something so petty like this. But for the sack of your consciousness you apologized.

You have more in your mind anyway, he asked to study with him on Saturday does that mean he actually asked you on a study date ? You weren’t 100% sure but since no one seemed to be invited so.

Damn, you were so nervous. Not only did you want to impress him by your knowledge but you also wanted him to be taken-apart by your look. You couldn’t explain why but the idea of him telling you how gorgeous he thought you were made you feel odd.

Why did you want him to find you attractive ? You were friends and this meeting was purely professional… Right ? You should find a cute outfit just in case.

That what’s you did, cause you couldn’t shut your little voice inside your head telling you to be presentable for once. It won’t hurt to be al dressed up ?

Much to your surprise, Armin was actually breath-taking even if his outfit were pretty simple : a black pant with some brown derbies, a white shirt with black jacket. He did look incredible handsome especially with the way he was smiling at you. But it wasn’t a study date right ?

It was definitely a study date, you just weren’t aware of that yet. It’s been a long time since Armin wanted to do something like that with you. Of course he knew better than to go in front of you telling you abruptly how he feels about you. First because he wasn’t sure himself how he felt about you, he tried to talk with some of his friends but every oh them were pretty awkward when it came to feelings especially Mikasa (who he thought could help him since you know…). Then, because even if he was actually in love with you he wasn’t really sure about how you felt about him ; after all all he did was talking to you once, then you two became friends easily and most of the time he felt like you were the one who talked the much (and he was 100% fine with that since he’s kinda attracted to people like you in addition he really appreciate your voice so he couldn’t complain).

So, Armin decided it would be good for both of you to go out during weekend claiming it would be for study. It wasn’t an entire liar tough, Armin did plan to study with you cause he really loved when you came to him for an explanation. Just having you close to him, listening to him very carefully to fully understand his lesson damn you looked far too cute for him : how your nose cracked when you frowned your eyebrows when you were focusing. Just the sight of you working hard for your study was enough to melt his heart, he loved when someone tried their hardest to do their work ; in addition he was kinda jealous about you cause you worked so hard in a country who wasn’t yours, surrounded by people who barley knew you. When he introduced you to his group of friends, he was mesmerized by how well you were with almost everyone, he just couldn’t help but smile at that thought.

But Armin also planned do other things such as going into a coffee shop just to get to know you better. He thought sharing a hot drink with you would help him to know if you were into him. Indeed he was afraid you might think of him as a friends, in the end you were just sharing some class you never attend to stay any longer (or at least that what he thought) : it won’t be a surprise if you just saw him as a school-friend someone you share a class but that’s it, he couldn’t be angry if you saw him that way … He didn’t actually feel like he could be angry at you at all so.

It took the opportunity to dress well, if he was about to seduce you (or at least try to) he has to be presentable. He wasn’t very fancy, but he definitely knew how to dress well. He tried to look good but not too good, cause for now you still thought it was just a meeting with two friends, helping each other. He didn’t tell you anything about his true intention. So he has to be discreet about his intention, the last thing he wanted was you discovering his plan.

When Armin met you, he had to think twice though : were you aware of his plan ? Did you dress like this just for him ? When you greeted him, he had to swallow two times cause you were breath-taking ; Armin was the one to think physical appearence is important but he had to admit you were very attractive in that outfit of yours. For a moment he was about to confess right there his feelings, but he knew better, he has build a plan and he had to respect it.

So as you two agreed on, you walked together into the library for some studies. During your walk, Armin was pretty talkative (part of his plan he actually asked you a lot of personal question but always did it furtively) which you didn’t mind, it was good actually it made you think you were getting closer to him. When you were finally at the library, you started to work but none of you were actually into this. Everyone could tell, something was radiating from you : was it attraction ? Was it nervousness ? No one could tell, but it sounded like you couldn’t work properly.

« Should we go out ? Let’s have something to eat maybe we could try again later ? »

You thought he would never say that, you couldn’t explain why but since you started to study with Armin you felt nervous it was the same for Armin. He used to be so confident when he explained you something, but today he seemed pretty shy and you didn’t know why and what to do to help him keeping his school. In addition, it seemed like your heart wasn’t on a better state, you could literally felt it beating against your chest you thought it could go thought your chest. You didn’t know what to do abut it, but you were agree with Armin both of you need something to cool off. Nothing would be better than a hot cocoa with some sweets. After ordering what you wanted, you were just staring at each other not knowing what to do.

Knowing he was the reason of this awkward situation, Armin took a deep breath as he remembered his speech. He knew they won’t be another chance and that he won’t be able to took his words away : they’re no going back after he was about to say. So he had to be clear, he had to tell you everything so he won’t regrets anything. He couldn’t help but feel a bit nervous, he was afraid he didn’t understand you, afraid that everything was a misunderstanding ; the last thing he wanted was you feeling uncomfortable with him. He cared about you far too much to let this happen. Deep down, he was a bit confident after what he saw today and the way you behave with him he was hoping that you were sharing what he felt for you. Nonetheless, he won’t know if he don’t do it, so here we go.

« Look Y/N, I’m sorry for today I was kinda nervous as you can see. It just, I had something to tell you but I was afraid you might not enjoy it. I was afraid, I might misunderstand you cause you’re incredible and full of surprises. I was about to give up when I realized that for once Mikasa and Eren won’t be here to help me, so today I decided to not be a coward and told you everything. You might guess what I’m about to tell you, but still I want to do this properly. I’m in love with you Y/N I really do love you, it took me a long time before I could finally realize what I really felt about you. I just love everything about you from the way you laugh to the way care about people. You seem so caring and I know you are, you’re so kind with me … I-I love when you come close to me when you don’t understand something, how you always seem curious about everything, how you listen to me carefully when I talk to you about my passions. I love how gorgeous you look today even if I told you it was just a study session and now I feel stupid for not dressing properly, I love the way your nose crack when you’re focusing on something, how you analyze everyone, I especially love your art. Romanticism suits you Y/N it really does. There are so many feelings in your art I really love it. I know you didn’t plan on staying here, but I would really love having you by my side. Everything seems simple when you are with me, but I won’t force you to do anything you didn’t plan on. I love how brave you are for travelling here on this country with no one with you, how hard you worked to have some friends to be a part of this college. I’d love to help you more and forever »

So, what would be your answer ?

#Snk #snk x reader #Snk headcanon #armin arlert #armin x reader #armin arlet x reader #armin headcanon #armin alert headcanon #Shingeki no kyojin #Attack on titan #Aot #attack on titans #Armin Arlet #aot armin #snk armin #aot x reader #Armin x Y/N #eren jaeger

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with-a-dash-of-tea · 4 years

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Writing Mental Illness In Your Novels

Believe it or not, you don’t actually have to have a mental illness to write about it in your novel. Some people are inspired to do so either because a loved one struggles with it or they feel there is a lack of representation of a particular mental illness. Or they are proponents of mental illness and want their audience to feel less alone.

As for myself, I have bipolar disorder type I and panic disorder, which I was recently diagnosed with. I am not having an easy time right now. I’m rapid cycling, so I swing around between hypomania/mania/mixed states/depression/baseline, and it’s not that fun because I haven’t been able to predict recently how I’m going to be day-to-day. On top of having to deal with anxiety I’m having difficulties getting under control, it’s been a bit of a ride, so writing about mental illness is purely cathartic for me.

I’m writing a novel currently titled The Seeming Impossibility of Everything with an asexual character who struggles with panic disorder and addiction she’s in denial about. It used to be called The Glorious In-Between and focused strictly on her asexuality with no mental illness involved, other than her best friend struggling with it, but the story evolved, and hopefully this is the one that’s it.

In any case, if you don’t suffer with the mental illness you’re writing about, research is going to play a big role. NAMI is a great source of information for all of your research. I also recommend reading memoirs and fiction books based around the mental illness you want to include in your novel. Even interviewing people will go a long way in making sure you’re as accurate as possible with representation.

There is so much stigma surrounding the mentally ill that must also be taken into account. Being able to admit to people you have this thing isn’t easy. I’m open about my mental illnesses, but that’s my personality. I have no problem telling people I have bipolar disorder or panic disorder because I want to be among the voices that are loud. I don’t want to be silent, drowning in shame.

Now there are things you need to consider when writing a mentally ill character:

1. Unreliable Narrators. Some mental illnesses can create unreliable narrators because of a break in reality, but most of them don’t. I’ve seen some authors write characters who have depression, and they decide to throw in a break with reality for entertainment factor, and it’s downright insulting. You need to do your research about what mental illnesses cause a break in reality because depression or even anxiety usually aren’t it.

2. Making the Mental Illness More of a Burden on Others Than the Sufferer. This was my biggest problem with the final season of 13 Reasons Why. For one, they threw in out of nowhere that Clay has panic disorder. Granted, people with panic disorder can go years without an attack, but it was obvious this was done more for entertainment than education because Clay’s illness was represented as being more of a burden on others than himself. It was evident in him being called Clay Cray, and the show never indicated how ableist this was or how much more understanding his friends should have been. Ableism is a real thing, yes, but there were no apologies, and Clay was left with the burden of being the bad guy, especially when he “lost it” and grabbed a gun and pointed it at people--which was also problematic in itself and leads me into my next point.

3. We Are More Likely to Hurt Ourselves Than Others. Clay was made into a character more harmful to others than himself. His blackouts made him into a criminal. He was not representative of what it’s truly like to live with panic disorder. No, I’ve never blacked out. I’m sure it’s terrifying. But panic disorder sufferers are more likely to implode than explode because the symptoms themselves are just that way. Mental illness doesn’t make you into a terrible person. You already have to be a terrible person to begin with, and all mental illness does is reveal that. Writing about mental illness should be about ending the stigma, not contributing to it these days.

4. Treatment Options. There are a myriad of treatment options your character can have. I have a psychiatrist who just deals in meds with me and I’ll occasionally talk about personal stuff, but as it relates to my illnesses so she knows how to adjust my meds. I also had a therapist who would occasionally do CBT with me. She did family therapy, couple’s therapy, and marriage counseling as well. She has a PhD. You need at least a master’s to be a therapist. So you have a lot of researching to do in this area when choosing what type of treatment you want your character to have.

5. Psychiatric Hospitals. Any mental illness can wind you up in a psychiatric hospital. Research the laws in each state because if you’re being held against your will, some states have a certain amount of hours before you can be let go. In my state of Georgia, I believe, it’s a 72-hour hold. All psychiatric hospitals are different as well in how they approach treatment and have different units, like adolescents or chemical dependency. Some leave your rooms open all day so you can stay in there in between groups. Some close the rooms down before breakfast and won’t open them again until reflection time or bed time. Some have rooms with their own showers. Some don’t. Some also aren’t as nice. For example, I knew a suicidal patient who, for some reason, was handcuffed when being brought to the unit, even though she claimed she wasn’t a danger to herself or others. And she was chill--much chiller than I was the entire time we were hospitalized (I was manic). So you can get a little creative as long as it’s not outrageous. Again, this is where research is crucial.

6. Suicide. Suicidal ideation is not something experienced by every single person with mental illness; thus, it is not a requirement in every book. Suicidal ideation is also a diagnosis in itself because it takes a particular toxic chemical stew for someone with mental illness to become suicidal. It isn’t an, ‘Oh, I’m so sick and tired of being depressed, so I think I’ll just kill myself.’ It’s more of a build-up over time of constantly feeling suicidal and depressed at the same time. You can be depressed and never experience suicidal feelings. If you do decide to have a character attempt, it’s also important to note you don’t need to be detailed. It can be triggering for some readers. This is why they removed Hannah’s suicide scene from 13 Reasons Why. Even someone like me, who isn’t so easily brought to her knees because I’ve experienced enough of my own mental illness trauma, felt nauseated and broke down crying when I watched it.

If you have any questions, especially about my particular illnesses, feel free to message me!

#writing comunity #writing advice #writing help #writers of tumblr #writeblr

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lithwark · 4 years

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Vincent Valentine x reader (one-shot)

So this is my first time posting something i wrote on this platform.. I'm not the best writer out there, but i write for fun and when inspiration comes.

I'm a huge fan of a lot of things, games, anime, manga and etc, like anyone out there. Right now i am writing a Tsukishima Kei (Haikyuu!!) headcannon/one-shot also..

If I get a following i'll prob start taking requests also (yes, i would be open to write lemons and basically anything, but i might put boundaries as time goes by)

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Plot name: midnight lover

The idea: a musician for fun (reader) playing the guitar to the moon encounters a strange man.

Song (i took inspiration from + one-shots mood): Je Te Laisserai Des Mots - Patrick Watson

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The night was young, little footprints of the sun were still on the edge of the sky. But there she was, that girl, sitting on the rooftop, singing like there was no tomorrow, no other possible moment like this. It was pretty dangerous to be on the edge of the wall that surrounded one of the Midgars sectors. But the singing bird had no fear. She let herself imagine what it would be like to fly, letting the idea of gravity slip through life's fingertips, defying nature itself leaving everything in dust as she let her being be free. The guitar strings pulled along the voice chords, almost breaking, but letting the sound of both unify like they were the only sounds that were true.

"Je te laisserai des mots~"

(I'll leave you notes)

Another note hits, and she could feel her body light as a feather,

"En dessous de ta porte

En dessous de la lune qui chante-"

(Underneath your door

Underneath the singing moon)

However, the ecstasy ended when the high note hit, the weight of it all struck her down. Her wings were clipped and a thought pinned her down, reminding the heaviness of existence. In a way, even threatening to not forget about it ever again.

Everything fell silent, even the breathing was slow and quiet as a graveyard. The slight wind in the city, the slight commotion in the streets in the middle of the night. Even if you could hear the city speaking, the rough lands shouted louder even if it was way further than Midgar.

However, in that space on cities edge, her mourning overtook it all. Silence falling over more overwhelming then a wall of an iron will.

"Sorry." a deep voice takes the attention.

The woman glances over, the surprise of another person's appearance hit like a fly swatter hitting a fly in a split second.

"Wh-" she jumped in surprise, letting her guitar slip a bit from her thigh.

As the guitar owner takes a moment to focus and compose herself, accepting the fact he was there.

It was quiet for some time, none of the two could say anything. It was either that both weren't the talking type or the situation was weird.

"I disturbed you." he speaks again, sending the woman off balance again. The 5 meter distance was greatly appreciated, since they were strangers, but it was more awkward then two strangers meeting at someone's family gathering.

"Not- Not really." the eyes darted away, avoiding to even look at the direction the other was standing in. "I didn't even notice you." the guitar was back in its proper place, but no sound came from it. The cold fingers couldn't bring themselves to move. The presence of another was too intense and overwhelming to bare to even move. It was intimidating, enough to send shivers down someones legs. And no, it wasn't the sharp wind of the dark night piercing its way through the space in small kisses.

The burden of being weighed down got harder by each second the stranger kept standing there.

"Why are you here?" the woman's voice escaped. Wanting to know why the man disturbed her euphoria.

"Heard a beautiful voice cry." he bluntly answers.

It hit her. A guitar melody stringing in her artistic head hitting her heart. The water made its way to her eyes, looking to break the will of a social mask she is used to hide beneath.

"Pretty bold for a stranger to assume such things." the woman tries to compose herself to not let her emotions break through the dam she worked so hard on building. Either way, at the end of her spoken sentence, at the last word, her voice breaks. Eyes widen as anxiety of the slip-up rushes.

The feet stand up as quickly as the body could manage.

She had to escape.

The only place where she could be alone and fly was taken. Now known by another.

But just as the woman looks for a way to run away, the freezing feet slip.

In a blink of an eye, the stranger was there. His body touching hers. The guitar was surprisingly still in hand.

"You okay?" the guy with the red as blood cape asks, supporting her body with one hand like she was a small bird. The same bird that tries to keep it's wings unclipped.

"Y-Yeah.." a sigh if relief escapes. "Thanks."

Yet again, silence conquers, the glorious moon right above them.

"A midnight lover." the heavy voice whispers, letting her hear how this person carries the whole world on his shoulders, still reassuring that one can manage at the same time.

"Huh?”

"You're a midnight lover."

"Wha-?" confusion rises as the woman tries to listen to him while trying to smoothly escape his grasp that seemed so effortless and easily escapable, but hard to go around.

She sighs, managing to look up at the man. "Could you let me go?"

"Oh-" his hand moves and lets the warmth of the two bodies separate.

Somehow, it gets cold, to her at least.

Without looking back at him she starts heading towards the nearest ladder. Something told her to not go, so her feet were taking their time to not obey her stubborn mind. Eventually, she stopped and turned to look back.

For the first time, she saw this crow like man in his entirety. Red eyes like gems in red wine, looking straight ahead in doubt. Black hair like the purest of nights. And the cape like a shroud of his own, proof for his suffering and spilled blood of many.

Her mouth opened to speak, but the iced throat was astonished by his mere existence, no sound escaping the heart.

She gulps in a way to make herself feel like she has to speak, it was either now or never.

"Who.." she shivers, it was getting cold outside, the rough lands were shouting louder and were closer than before. "...are you?"

The red cloaked man looked up to the pale moon that matched his skin, then back at the woman standing before him. It was like the man was asking for the planets/asteroids(?) permission. No, he was deciding with it.

"Vincent. Vincent Valentine."

"Wow... What a name.." she mumbled, another breath of the sharp air coming from the further lands was taken in. "I'm y/n l/n."

The atmosphere seemed a bit more friendly now that they knew who they were. The two could feel smth pulling them together, making both parties of the conversation just stand there without a slight movement. They didn’t know each other though, so there was no reason to stay. But the eyes kept mesmerizing each other in awe.

"I.. I have to go." y/n broke the eye contact that for some reason felt like it took more than a moment. "Will i meet you again?"

"Of course." his mouth wasn’t visible, but it felt like he sounded more genuine and sincere.

"You're also, a midnight lover..."

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Thank You for reading! I really appreciate it!

Should I make this into a one-shot of a couple of parts? Let me know ^^

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martyrgargoyle · 4 years

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Hey I know the Tyler post is about racism and not homophobia and I don’t want to change the topic from that but I just wanted to add on that he did something very similar in 2015. When gay marriage was legalized fans asked him to say something and he posted a long rant about his mental illness and basically implied posting was a burden to him. I just wanted to bring that to light as well cause it’s not the first time he’s made something unrelated about his own problems

you’re right anon, good memory! he’s also been known to show disinterest when meeting fans and they say he inspired him to come out and be themselves, usually brushing past it. i didn’t include these in the original post since it was focusing on his racist past/excusing racism but if you look at the notes app rant he did for gay marriage, it follows the rant he did on twitter recently too! here’s the two rants compared (text) for anyone that wants them/need an alt text:

2015 TXT, on his silence on gay marriage being legalized:

“it breaks my heart to see that not posting would lead to some of you to believe that i do not love and support you. that is simply not true. any day where love defeats hate, you can know i am celebrating, just maybe not on twitter. as for the silence: through personal experience, i want to create and influence something that might help others navigate through the battlefield that is the brain. and for those who understand that terminology, you know what battle i am talking about. but while at this mental ground zero, i have found any influence added on, no matter how noble, becomes too heavy for me to carry. i am not strong enough. be patient with me as i grow, that some day i might be able to carry more weight. but for now, i write what i know. both josh and i mean this, with love and support, tyler”

his full 2020 twitter rant (in TXT) when told he shouldn’t joke about blm:

‘your own mental health should always be a priority. i’m amazed at how easy it is to forget that simple fact. it’s something that can sneak up on you, then eventually you check in on it and realize it’s in really bad shape. i’m trying to cut through to who really needs to hear this. this is tough, but it’s not hopeless. fighting for your mental health is not public, it’s not glorious, it’s not even interesting, but it’s the greatest challenge you will face. i use music, humor, being alone, breaks from social media, family, uncomfortable and honest conversations with friends, and sometimes crying. a few tools, but they don’t all work for everyone. find what helps you take back ground lost. i really don’t know if i can even handle everything that’s happening right now. the scariest place to be is when you find yourself in a spot where you can’t find an answer to the question, “what’s the point?” there has to be a point. according to the world health organization: Close to 800,000 people die due to suicide every year, which is one person every 40 seconds. according to American Foundation of Suicide Prevention: On average, there are 132 suicides per day. mentally/emotionally, i can only carry so much, because what i do care about is so heavy, the thought of adding more on top of it makes me want to stop trying. but we can never stop trying. this site, along with many others, has been a guide. it’s not perfect, but it’s the right direction. [link to afsp.org] starting September 6th is national suicide prevention awareness week. what does that mean exactly? i don’t know. but if it can get a single person’s attention at the right time, it’s everything. #keepgoing. i respect all the warriors out there fighting for different causes. there is honor in it, purpose, and it can make our world better. i just want to remind you what i’m fighting for: your mental health is more important today than it ever has been. you’re not alone. you don’t know what someone else is going through. what other invisible weights they may be struggling to carry. keep that in mind as you go about your interactions. and take care of yourself, please. this isn’t a notes app moment. i’m doubling down on my platform tweet. it was fantastic.”

Lots of words! Here's a basic breakdown for people that may need help to see what was the similarities:

RED: I highlighted these since they stood out the most to me when comparing similarities and basically sums it up if you're skimming. Other than these lines being basically the same and not even hidden in the fact, he's shifting the weight and importance on HIS mental health. Not anyone else's or the situation at hand that caused outrage. Instead, he's using his mental health as an excuse while proceeding to tell us that it's a burden for him to support POC and LGBT and to be patient WITH HIM while dealing with other people's lives.

In both rants he's avoiding the issue that caused his fans to be hurt. Instead of holding any responsibility or giving an apology for any harm he caused to the wellbeing of his audience; he flips it and turns it to them and blaming them for how he may have hurt them/caused worries. i know a lot of people say it isn't a big deal BUT please remember who he directs his music for and his audience. he knows its a lot of mentally ill people, specifically younger adults or teenagers. and while there's nothing wrong with that, blaming and saying they're at fault for having a lot of hopes and seeing him as a general inspiration and getting hurt at the idea of him not supporting them finally being able to love someone legally; it can and did cause a lot of damage and insecurity in his more impressionable fan base.

for the blm one, it was even worse. he openly mocked the movement and people that protest to an impressionable audience and to his fanbase that again, see him as a huge inspiration in fighting for peace and justice since he inspires them to have a voice. so he not only showed the younger fans/planted the confusion of its okay to mock this movement, he also laughed in the face of people that admire him and are trying to fight for a change. and this is from a WHITE perspective, i cant even imagine how his POC fans felt and the betrayal they felt to see their hero mock their struggle and demand to not be discriminated against :(

#sorry for the long wait!#i been goin through it hhhh but hopefully this made sense!#sry if a bit messy!#anyone feel free to reword it and make a post and ill reblog the better version #but yea tyler been having a shady history #tyler jøseph #fuck tyler joseph #tyler joseph #21 piløts #21p #21 pilots #long post #anon #answered #txt #asks

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