#i actually did this awhile ago but never got around to posting it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lxkeee · 3 months

Text

MY LOVE, IS MINE ALL MINE PART THREE

pairing: Lucifer x fem! reader

fandom: hazbin hotel

genre: fanfiction

notes: Imaoo sorry it took awhileee I'm actually a very busy college student while simultaneously having so much brainrot for this man so... Be patient omfg, I just posted part one a two days ago also, don't mind the warnings too much as it doesn't specifically for this specific chapter but it can be future parts of the story. So yes, hand holding before marriage will happen between Lucifer and [y/n]

warnings: none except hand holding before marriage Imao.

PART ONE | PART TWO | PART FOUR

Lucifer paced back and forth in his room, worried. Walking around the large master's bedroom, passing by many piles of rubber ducks he made.

“She should be back by now.” Lucifer murmured to himself, sighing.

His eyes landed on to the framed pictures decorating his walls.

He prayed that Charlie met [y/n] up there, the one angel he trusts. Though, it has been eons since he's last seen her, he wonders if [y/n] changed after all these years, especially after he had fallen from grace.

Did she hate him? Did she miss him like how he misses her?

As he sat on his arm chair, a gold sealed white envelope manifested on top of the coffee table in front of him, pink glittery smoke surrounding the letter.

“...What the...?” Lucifer murmurs, hesitant and cautious, eyeing the envelope. What if it's a trap?

Suddenly his phone buzzed, he immediately checked it to see it was a text message from Charlie.

“I just left a letter on your table, it's from someone you know. I'll tell you everything that happened in heaven but I'll rest for a bit. Love you dad!”

Lucifer smiled though a tad bit worried, he can tell that the meeting didn't go as his daughter hoped. He can only give her time.

Lucifer then now turned his eyes back on the neat envelope, sparkling a little. He turned the letter around to see it was specifically addressed to him, written in an oh so familiar handwriting to him. Unknowingly, just by seeing the handwriting was enough for his eyes to tear up a little.

“[y/n]....” He murmurs, finally opening the letter. Using his sharp nails to scrape off the wax without breaking it or tearing the envelope. Taking out the carefully folded light yellow paper, unfolding it to reveal her letter to him.

My Dearest Lucifer

His cheeks flushed slightly, with a comma after dearest. My Dearest, Lucifer

“Oh [y/n], this will keep me up at night.” Lucifer murmurs with a small dorky smile on his face, his sharp teeth shining against the light, eyes watering.

My Dearest, Lucifer

It has been awhile hasn't it? A couple of eons since we've last seen each other. You have no idea how excited I was when I heard your daughter would be coming here in hell. I made sure to write a letter in advance a day before her arrival. I have a lot to tell you, first and foremost, I truly missed you. You sly man, you really got married without inviting me. How's your time down there? I hope hell is treating you right, I really hope I'll get a chance to see you again. I hope we'll get a proper chance to talk, I want to personally hear you how you've been doing. I hope you'll get the chance to see the good of humans after giving them free will, I promise to find a way for you to leave and visit earth. I am running out of paper to right on but I promise to help your daughter up here and lastly, I want you to remember that I adore you always.

“Sincerely yours, [y/n] [l/n]” Lucifer softly reads out, voice shaking. It felt like he could hear her as he read the letter. The same kind [y/n] who always believed in him. His heart swells knowing that she's still trying to help in any way she can despite their distance. She never stopped believing in him despite him leaving without notice (not that he had the chance to).

“If only you knew how much I adore you too, [y/n]...” Lucifer murmurs softly, his finger tracing the outline of the paper ever so gently.

“I want to see you again, I have so many things to say to you... So many unsaid words I wanted to say... I wanted to tell you that I love...” Lucifer's eyes widened ever so slightly, cheeks turning red. He knows he loves her and he still does but he also loves his ex-wife, Lilith. Does he? Or is he just holding into something that no longer exists as it was something he had for a long time and now it's gone?

Everything in his life changed, Lilith's love for him changed, he changed.

Despite all of this, [y/n] remained unchanging inside his heart. Sure, Lilith held the majority of his heart but now? He is not sure but he is 100% sure [y/n] never left, he still has affections for the angel.

How can he not? She's the only one who believed in him when he was up in heaven? She comforted him whenever the elders said hurtful things to his ideas.

But now...

Her letter gave him a sense of hope that his decision of giving mankind free will might not be useless after all.

Lucifer closes the letter, gently folding it back on how it was folded before he opened it. Bringing the piece of paper to his nose, smelling the faint scent of her perfume. It brought back memories of his time with her in heaven.

“I'll ask Charlie about what happened up there later but for now, I'll take a moment to process this.” He says with a small sigh. Slipping the folded paper back into the envelope.

Lucifer sighs as he gently places the envelope back on his table, walking to his balcony. Eyes staring up into the smoky red skies of hell, devoid of any moon and stars.

He used to stargaze with her when he was still in heaven.

[y/n] was his moon, who shines during his darkest days.

Waving his finger in the air, specks of golden dust flickers out of his fingers. Forming a crescent moon.

Lucifer leans into the railings, eyes staring at the faux moon he created.

“Moon, tell me if I could...” Lucifer softly sang, eyes tired but hopeful. “Send up my heart to you...?” he asked softly, unfortunately no one answered.

A bit of a timeskip....

It has been a few months since Charlie's visit here in heaven and the next extermination is getting closer by the day. Emily and I are still trying to look for ways to help Charlie.

Sera adores Emily, I am sure that she wouldn't get punished. I on the other hand, Sera has been keeping a close eye on me. Criticizing me. Lute being tasked to watch my every move.

“Sera, this is utterly ridiculous! We should give those poor souls a second chance.” [Y/n] says, clenching her fists as she looked at Sera who was sitting on her chair inside the Seraphim office.

“That is enough, [y/n]. You keep this up and you'll end up fallen like Lucifer.” Sera said sternly, eyes glaring at the [y/n]. “You barely managed to escape that fate before, you could've fallen the same time as Lucifer but thankfully your actions weren't as severe as his.”

[y/n] slammed her fists against the table, angel eyes appearing on her wings with fury, “We aren't God, Sera! Who gave you the right to judge those sinners and claim they don't deserve a second chance?” she exclaimed.

Sera stood up from her seat, anger evident on her face. “Don't you dare raise your voice at me! You're on thin ice, [y/n]!”

[y/n] rolls her eyes, crossing her arms over chest, “What are you going to do? Huh? Kick me out of heaven?”

Sera's glare sharpened, patience running thin. “Keep that attitude up and you just might.”

“Lucifer doesn't deserve this treatment! You cursed him to not see the good of people! You cursed the people who have a chance to redeem themselves by taking their life! How does it feel that so much blood is spilled because of your decision?!” [y/n] asked angrily, tears running down her cheeks.

“We have our own souls to protect! This decision wasn't easy to make!” Sera remarked angrily, her wings spread out intimidatingly.

“Protect them from what?! As far as I know, it's only us angels who are a threat to them? If they do something that doesn't fit your standards or the elder's standards they are bound to fall from grace!” [y/n] says mockingly, rage and annoyance evident on both women's eyes.

“That's it, you've crossed the line!”

“You don't want to admit that I am right, angels are such selfish, greedy, and filthy creatures. I cannot believe I am associated with beings whose hands are stained with blood.”

You know, falling doesn't seem so bad.

Strong and harsh winds are blowing against my back, thankfully I still have my wings. It is currently useless, unfortunately. I don't have the energy to flap them to save myself from the approaching pain.

After that argument with Sera, the higher seraphim thought I was already way out of line and disrespectful. I was placed on trial, handcuffed with the type of handcuffs that prevents me from using my angelic powers while it simultaneously sucked the energy out of me.

I was deemed guilty, shameful, and ungrateful and a threat to the order of heaven.

Tossed out of the pearly gates of heaven by none other than Adam, that asshole really grabbed me by the hair.

[y/n] sighs softly, vision blurring. Trying to focus it as she falls from grace. The skies looked so beautiful.

Lucifer would've loved these skies, we've stargazed during the night before. When he was still in heaven with me.

Lucifer, I can see Ursa Major tonight. Someday, I'll bring you back here on the surface and stargaze like we've always do. No matter how many stars are in the sky, you always take my attention. You're like my star, you shine so bright and so pure.

I'll join you in the pits of hell, I hope you didn't forget about me.

I should be happy that I'm finally leaving that god awful place.

Why am I so scared of falling to my demise?

For a moment, I can see a glimpse of how Lucifer felt when he fell from grace.

Terrifying.

[Y/n] closes her eyes as she finally goes past the Earth's crust. Ichor flowing out of her hands from the handcuffs she had to wear.

“I am not allowed to die, I still need to see him.” [y/n] murmurs before eventually crashing into the fiery grounds of hell, she fortunately crashed somewhere where there weren't any people, a wide space of nothing but dead trees, a hotel can be seen in the distance.

Pain, pain shot everywhere her body. She let out a sharp scream of pure pain. Blood spilled everywhere before she eventually passed out.

It didn't matter, the pain didn't matter. She's here now. She'll look for him or Charlie.

She doesn't know Charlie would find her first.

END NOTES: YUHHH THEY'LL SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN IN THE NEXT UPDATEE

TAGLIST:

@n1chxyaaenthusiast @cherry-4200 @luleck @adaizel @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx @thedarkkitten @selvyyr @froggybich @brithedemonspawn @kottenox @totallymitya (I can't tag you </3) @many-fandoms-lover

#lxkeee hazbin hotel masterlist #hazbin hotel #lucifer #lucifer hazbin hotel #lucifer morningstar x reader #lucifer magne #hazbin hotel x reader #lxkeee updates #lucifer morningstar #“MLIMAM” — LUCIFER X READER

1K notes · View notes

baptismbaby · 7 months

Text

✩ LIKE A DOG WITH A BIRD AT YOUR DOOR

toxic!ellie x reader (modern) a/n: will post to ao3: baptismsbaby warnings: ANGST. cannot stress it enough. cheater!ellie i'm so sorry for that, reader is super jealous and it's hinted she can be possessive, ellie isn't super toxic but i mean.. she cheats that's toxic enough lmao, brief mention of s*mno and drugs. brief mention of vomiting as well. no smut just depressing sorry songs to listen to: moon song by phoebe bridgers, i know it's over by the smiths, i bet on losing dogs by mitski, become the warm jets by current joys creds to elliesgalaxy on pinterest for the ellie pic wc: 3.5k<3

Ellie had made a new friend.

You and Ellie were at a college party a couple months ago. It was a part of y’all’s routine. Classes Monday-Thursday, party Friday and Saturday, and use Sunday to recover from the hangover. You would go and dance, drink, smoke, and on the occasion do a couple lines of coke. Ellie didn’t dance but loved watching you from the bar. A girl your age sat next to Ellie and striked a conversation with her. When you noticed, you immediately power walked on over. Ellie was beautiful, a lot of girls wanted her. Ellie would turn them away. She didn’t care about anyone else but you. Why is she talking to this stranger?

Come to find out, her name was Lila. Ellie and Lila went to the same high school years ago and wanted to catch up with Ellie. Lila had a long term boyfriend and majored in psychology. Once you knew she was straight, you left them alone after shaking Lila’s hand. You were no longer worried and just wanted to get as crossed as you could.

The next morning, Ellie woke you up with a finger inside of you. The entire time you couldn’t focus due to the constant beeping of her phone. You asked her to stop and reached for Ellie’s phone, tapping the screen to see Lila had texted Ellie eight times. You thought it was strange but according to Ellie, instead of saying everything she wanted in a single text, she’d send multiple. She had been texting Lila since she got you back to your dorm. You found it strange that Ellie had already caught on to her texting patterns but told yourself Lila was straight, nothing is wrong, Ellie made a friend and they’re getting to know each other. You were afraid of losing Ellie. So many girls would tell you how lucky you were. You knew it but saw red when being told that. To you, it meant they would throw themselves at Ellie if you weren’t in the picture.

Ellie began hanging with Lila in her dorm, which was a floor above yours. She’d text you every five minutes to keep you updated and even gave you Lila’s number so the two of you could become friends. She came off as clingy but was super sweet. Ellie made plans to go out to the bar with you and invited Lila so you could hit it off. You did, you actually adored her so much. She was super cool and funny. She’d talk shit to guys who tried to hit on her and would come to you or Ellie’s defense if anyone tried flirting with either of you. You liked that about her. She was loyal, a girl’s girl, overall a fun person to be around. The three of you would hang out often, sometimes just Ellie and Lila, sometimes you and Lila. Lila would boast about her boyfriend and ask a lot of questions about your relationship with Ellie. The sex, fights, anniversaries, little things Ellie would do, etc. It all fascinated Lila. She’d talk about how her boyfriend Josh was silent and off putting but gentle towards her. You enjoyed bonding with her.

You felt it had been awhile since you went on a date with Ellie. You decided to surprise her by showing up to her dorm, tossing rose petals all over the floor and lighting candles for an intimate setting. You knew Ellie would love it. But she never came. You had called beforehand and told her that you would stay the night in her dorm so she knew not to go to yours. You texted her and asked where she was. She said she was having a movie night with Lila. You thought it was weird you weren’t invited. You and Ellie would only hang out with her alone if the other had a class or was busy. If the three of you were free, y’all were together. You felt hurt and cleaned up the mess. You argued with her about it the next day and found out it was Lila’s idea. You texted her and expressed how uncomfortable it made you. She was apologetic and made you promise not to tell Ellie that she was telling you a secret. Ellie was planning a big surprise for you since an anniversary was coming up. You felt guilty and apologized to Ellie. You asked to have dinner Saturday, which was supposedly when the surprise was going to take place.

You waited for Ellie at her favorite diner. The minutes kept passing by and by, Ellie never showing up. You were blowing up her phone but she wasn’t responding. You never told Ellie, who preferred having her read receipts off, that you turned hers on secretly for you. She read every one and still no response. About an hour later, you were bawling your eyes out and decided it was time to leave. In walked Ellie, who was surprised to see you so emotional.

“Baby, what is it?”

“You were supposed to be here an hour ago.”

You made sure to bump her shoulder as you stormed past her. Once you made it outside of the diner, Ellie had caught up with you and grabbed your arm. “Let go!” you yelled.

People around started to stare. Ellie gave you a dirty look and pulled you closer. “Stop causing a fucking scene, these people think I’m hurting you,” she growled under her breath. “Calm down.”

She shoved your wrist away and stepped back, running a hand through her short hair. You tried to calm yourself down but the tears wouldn’t stop flowing. “I thought it was at seven. I’m so sorry baby,” she apologized.

“I reminded you a million times that it was at six.”

Ellie took her phone out and sighed at the text messages, acting as if she was guilty for not “seeing them.” You were starting to get pissed off but knew you couldn’t reveal that you knew she was lying.

“Sweetheart… I’m so sorry. I was over at Lila’s to-”

“Lila’s again?!” you nearly shrieked. Ellie made a face at you.

“She’s our friend. I was hanging out with our friend. She was helping me get ready because I wanted to look nice for you.”

The more you thought about it, the more you realized that Ellie would text less and less the more she hung out with Lila. She wouldn’t really text you much either.

“I’m starting to think she’s interfering with our relationship, Ellie. It feels like we barely talk. We don’t do anything together anymore. All you wanna do is hang out with her. ”

“She’s not interfering!” defended Ellie. You ignored her and walked away as she called out your name.

When you were finally in the comfort of your bed, you decided to text Lila to see if you could talk to her privately. Your text didn’t deliver. You hoped either she had no service at the moment or her phone was turned off. You set it down next to you and shut your eyes, the emotions of the day coming to hit you all at once. You cried yourself to sleep.

You saw a flower and note on your dresser the next day from Ellie. She told you how sorry she was and that she didn’t want to fight anymore. Then there was an anniversary card next to it where she wrote an extremely long paragraph for you. She must have come by early in the morning to leave it for you before her class. You sent a text and let her know to swing by your dorm once she was finished. You didn’t have classes until the evening, so you sat around waiting.

Her class ended at 11 a.m. and it would take her five-ten minutes to make it to your room. 11:05 came and went. 11:10, you started to think she might have stopped to talk to the professor or went to the restroom before leaving. You checked your phone and saw she read the text at eleven on the dot. You slammed the phone down on the bedside table and laid down. You fought tears as you started asking yourself where things went wrong. You wished you had told Lila to back off anyway that night at the bar. Things would be different. Ellie would be holding you, kissing you and whispering sweet nothings in your ear right now if it wasn’t for Lila.

You didn’t know you had fallen back to sleep until you woke up and realized you had missed your evening class. When you had checked the time, you also noticed Ellie sent a short text: “Not feeling so great today babe. I’m good though, no need to check in on me. Hope u liked your card. Love you:)”

You sighed. You’ve had enough. Ellie was lying and avoiding you for sure at this point. She was such a baby when she didn’t feel well, calling you and begging you to come by and take care of her. You shoved your phone in your back pocket and slid your shoes on, leaving your dorm room to go down the hall to Ellie’s. You tried opening the door but it was locked as if she wasn’t there. You pulled your phone out to call Lila. You swore to yourself that if they were hanging out that you would sit them both down and force them to hear how you feel. Set boundaries and make sure it’s clear that no one is allowed to hang one on one with each other anymore.

After dialing, you brought your cell to your ear and froze when the automated voice said the number wasn’t available. It didn’t ring at all, which explained why your text never delivered. She blocked you. And all you knew was that her dorm was a floor up but couldn’t remember which one. You felt stupid for not memorizing it. You didn’t want to bang on every door until you found her so you called Dina who was on the same floor as Lila.

“Hey,” she answered.

“Dina, hey, which dorm is Lila’s?”

“Oh, I’m good thanks for asking,” Dina said sarcastically “It’s like four doors down from mine. Why?”

“Ellie’s there right?”

“I mean.. I saw her this morning but kinda assumed she was back at her dorm or yours. Is she not?”

“Shit!” you hissed. “Fuck. Something is going on, I can feel it. Thanks, Dina. I’ll give you a couple of free joints for your help. Love you.”

You hung up and rushed for the stairs. You practically ran up them, skipping steps and getting nasty looks from other students who you nearly ran into. You opened the door and speed walked through the hallway to Dina’s door. It was cracked open and her head was poked out. She sent you a thumbs up as a way of saying good luck. You counted the doors and glanced back at her. She shook her head no to the door you were pointing at then nodded when you finally landed on the correct door. You felt your stomach turn. Your mouth salivated as if you were gonna throw up.

“You got this girl, I’m gonna keep watch in case I have to jump in,” Dina whispered loudly. You gave her an awkward smile, appreciative of her support but the sick feeling was getting worse.

You slammed the door open and nearly collapsed. They were fully clothed but Ellie was on top of Lila and kissing her. Ellie turned around, her mouth falling open and her brows furrowing upwards. Lila was giggling until she made eye contact with you. Her eyes went wide with fear. You staggered backwards, your hand gripping your stomach tightly.

“E-Ellie,” you whimpered.

Ellie jumped off of Lila and held her hands out towards you. She said something but you couldn’t hear due to the ringing in your ears. You started to sprint back to the exit, catching a glimpse of Dina leaving her room to go to Lila’s. You skipped down the stairs, busted through another door and barely made it to your dorm in time to vomit in the trash can you had sitting beside your desk. You picked it up and took it to the bathroom so you could clean it later. You stepped out, your hands on your knees as you tried to catch your breath. You could feel a panic attack coming on as the image of Ellie kissing Lila replayed in your brain on repeat. You could hear a voice in the distance calling your name. A hand touched your shoulder and you slapped it away, looking up to see Ellie.

There were tears threatening to spill from her eyes as she repeated your name over and over, as if she was begging you to speak.

“I-I can’t believe you,” you said quietly. “This isn’t… real.”

“Please, it’s not what it looks like honey.”

You kept fighting to catch your breath, trying to figure out how to feel and what to say. You heard a creak and looked up to see Lila slowly stepping in. Rage went through your entire body as if it was an adrenaline rush. There was so much you wanted to do to hurt her. You wanted to scream at her, rip her hair out, strangle her, all of the above.

“Get the fuck out!” you screeched. “I swear to God, Lila, if you don’t get out of my goddamn dorm, I will go to prison for the rest of my life after I’m finished with you!”

Lila turned to Ellie, expecting her to jump to her defense. Ellie didn’t take her eyes off you, her face twisted in pain and guilt.

“Ellie!” Lila whined.

You stepped forward without even thinking about it. Ellie turned and grabbed Lila. She pushed her out the door, slammed it shut then locked it. You stood there, glaring at Ellie as she rested her head against the cool wood. “Fuck,” she mumbled. Her chest ached. She knew she had ruined the one good thing in her life which was you. The only girl she ever loved, who dealt with her bullshit and held her while she cried and laughed with her afterwards. Ellie risked it for no reason. She wasn’t entirely sure how everything got so fucked up.

Ellie backed away from the door, slowly rotating with each step so she was facing you. You were no longer angry. You were watching her but Ellie felt it was as if you were staring through her. You were zoned out completely, your entire body shaking and your breathing fast.

“I’m sorry for avoiding you and… spending so much time with her. It was an accident, I swear,” said Ellie.

“How could you accidentally… kiss someone?” you asked. You decided to focus on the floor instead, Ellie’s face was too much to look at right now.

Ellie stayed silent, pacing back and forth in the room muttering to herself.

“When did it start?”

“Um, when she invited me to movie night,” responded Ellie.

Your heart sank. “Oh.”

“But nothing actually… started. I fucked up, baby, but there was nothing between us. She kissed me that night and I felt weird and awful. She was crying, complaining about her boyfriend and randomly kissed me. I didn’t reciprocate it that night. I stopped her, talked to her about it, and told her she’s just upset.”

Ellie stepped closer to you until she was a couple inches away from you. “Before our date, she was helping me pick out something to wear. I didn’t lie about that. But she’d kiss me on the cheek and I let her. When you left because I was late, I confided in Lila and we did… some stuff.”

“Stuff?” your voice cracked.

“Over the clothes,” Ellie sniffled as a tear fell down her cheek. “I felt awful so I got you that card.”

“So awful you had to go back.”

“It wasn’t for that at first, please believe me. I went to tell her we had to stop being friends. Then, I went back to my dorm to be alone. I wanted to figure out how to tell you so I was gonna call you but I left my fucking phone,” she sighed. “Goddamn it. I’m so fucking stupid. She invited me in. I should’ve waited outside.”

You felt a buzzing in your pocket and pulled it out to see a text from Lila. You chuckled dryly. “That’s funny, Lila just texted me. She had me blocked when I tried calling before I came by.”

Ellie’s eyes widened. You could see the panic written all over her face, her shoulders moving up and down quickly as her breath sped up.

“W-What is it?”

“A video?”

Ellie reached out to take your phone but you slapped her hand away and stepped back. “Why do you wanna see it so bad?”

“Just-Just let me see and I’ll delete it for you!”

“No, I want to watch.”

Ellie’s hands went to her stomach, watching as you played the video. You dropped your phone to the ground, realizing Lila sent you a video of Ellie kissing Lila’s body all the way down until… well, you didn’t watch that far.

“Please,” Ellie sobbed. “I’m so sorry.”

“You’re wearing the same outfit right now that you were wearing in that video.”

Ellie grabbed your wrists, bringing it up to her chest as she continued to plead with you. “It was only one time. I swear, I’m so sorry. I love you s’ much. I-I’d die without you. Baby, look at me. Please.”

Ellie pulled your face up to hers, your neck and body stiff as it settled in that Ellie was probably fucking Lila before today. Ellie peppered kisses all over your forehead and temple, muttering between each one how much she loved you and wanted to spend her life with you.

“I-I love how red your cheeks get when you-when you get embarrassed,” whispered Ellie as she planted a kiss on each one. “I love how you’re always putting chapstick on so that your lips are soft for me.” She kissed you but you didn’t do it back. “I-I love the way your chin wobbles so much when you cry over cat v-videos.”

She looked down at your arms, her tears now landing on them. “I love how you wrap your arms around me when you s-sleep. Your hands, God, I love how soft your hands feel o-on my body.”

Ellie closed the space between the two of you and slowly laid you on the bed, crawling over you and staring deep in your lifeless eyes. “You always looked at me so full of love.”

Ellie leaned forward, little whimpers falling out of her lips. “Where did it go?”

Ellie’s lips were soaked as she kissed you. You finally opened your mouth and kissed her back, her tears seeping between your lips and landing on your tongue.

“God sent his favorite angel to save me,” she whispered between kisses.

You broke the kiss to cry, Ellie using a finger to brush off each drop. She gently shushed you. “Please don’t cry,” she said. Her voice was raspy. She sounded completely broken.

“You kiss me and I taste someone else, Ellie…”

Ellie’s face dropped in anguish as she bawled harder.

“You have to go,” you weeped. “You c-can’t do this to me.”

“But I love you. I-I’m gonna make it right.”

“I’m not sure if you can, Ellie.”

Her name used to taste so sweet in your mouth. Now, it made your throat burn.

You gently pushed Ellie off of you. “You lied to me,” you uttered. “It’s unforgivable.”

Ellie turned away so you couldn’t see her break down. She looked around the room to see some of her clothes littered on the floor. She began to gather them together, sobbing softly.

Before she turned the knob, she stopped and glanced behind her shoulder at you. “I’m going to make this right. No matter what you say, even if thirty years from now you hate me. I will keep trying until I die.”

She left, the air in the room thickening as your brain replayed memories of the good times with Ellie. The flowers she’d pick for you on walks, her smile, her laugh, her cooking the nastiest food you ever ate. You squeezed your eyes shut as a desperate attempt to just live in those memories. You’d wake up tomorrow and none of this would’ve ever happened. You’d tell Ellie about your nightmare and she’d assure you that you were the only girl for her. You got up and picked up a shirt she had forgotten. You held it to your face, breathing in deeply and losing yourself in her scent. You slowly started to fall to your knees and onto your side. You curled up with her shirt and slowly drifted to sleep, the sweetest dream of Ellie hugging you taking the ache in your chest away.

#ellie williams #ellie williams x you #tlou2 #ellie williams tlou2 #ellie williams x reader #ellie x fem reader #the last of us #the last of us part two #ellie williams angst #angst #ellie williams x reader angst

778 notes · View notes

cherryshortycake · 2 months

Text

Bakugou x Reader (Your My Girl)

Request; the idea of a very very careful Izuku/Bakugo (maybe both) as a first timer with you and being oh so gentle and contemplating your beautiful features and just being soft boys))

SMUT: 18+ (Third Years)

On you and Bakugou's Third year at UA, been dating ever since middle of second year. The things you and this boy have went through together, to wars, fights, and challenges that were faced together.

You meant a lot to Bakugou, he'd be lying if he said he didn't.

Bakugou and You talked about sharing a moment like this together in the past, And to fully make sure you both are ready and if this is something you both wanted to do together for sure, Bakugou had bought protection awhile ago for you two when you were ready, 'first time was important and should be taken seriously right?' You thought to yourself. As you were over his dorm, thoughts were running wild.

You both were laying down on his bed, Him on his phone scrolling through the news up today and having random conversation with her. which he loved to do, her voice to him was medicine.

"Can't believe people actually believe in this horse crap." he said scrolling and a post in particular caught his eye. Some fan page accounts of random hero conspiracy theories.

"I can't either Katsu" She said brushing her hair on his bed, across from him.

"tsk" he shuts off his phone and puts it on the charger, "Did you bring your charger?" he said to her, knowing she was crashing at his dorm tonight.

You didn't answer him which made him turn around with curiosity and a raised eyebrow. He seen you brushing your hair and clearly distracted, looks like you were thinking hard. which led him to question her.

"Hey, Think any harder and your head will start smoking." The rasp in his voice caused your thought to break.

"oh sorry I'm just pretty out of it I guess." you chuckled nervously, getting up to put your brush in your purse that was laying on his desk. Bakugou filled you with his eyes still curious. Eyes looking you, up and down, noticing your wearing his black shirt, which was somewhat kinda baggy on you, with your bed shorts

"Hey Katsuki?" his eyes broke off of you to look at you again but at your eyes, when you turned around he responded "Hm.?"

He seen you fidgeting your feet and hands around. and grew his concern more "Hey, now tell me whats wrong you been acting strange-...." you interrupted him. "I Think I'm ready" you said shyly looking down at your hands.

His eyes somewhat widen, and you seen it. you walked up to him and stood in front of him, him sitting on the edge of his bed and you grabbed his cheek, "I'm ready Katsuki." you said rising his face up more to look at you.

"Are.....Are you sure?" he said grabbing your hand in his, softly rubbing his thumb on your palm.

"I've never been more sure." you said giving him a soft smile.

He looked down and his face looked red and steamy hot.

"together like we said one step at a time right? just like you said." you said climbing into bed behind him, rubbing his shoulders and whispering in his ear "I trust you Katsuki"

He shut his eyes in admiring your responds, you really did trust him.

"But I understand if you not ready Kats-..." he interrupted you by turning around fast and hovering over you, forearms holding his-self up. face to face with him, he leans down, forehand on your inner neck. "I'm ready too..." he said muffled in your neck.

"but I want you to know....I'm nervous..but again I trust you okay?' he looked up at you and nodded.

You softly nudged his chest up to get up and to sit on your knees in front of him. On his knees as well on the bed with you, face to face. You leaned forward to give a nice gentle kiss, slow and meaningful. until you broke off him to look down and to take the rim of his shirt off that you was wearing.

Which you weren't wearing anything underneath expect your shorts. You got shy and tried to cover your chest a little bit, Which you looked up at him and his eyes widen, Looks down at your bare chest, face grew redder.

Your hands tryed hiding yourself more, but Bakugou softly removed your hands from yourself. Him looking at you was making you more nervous, he's seeing you bared chested. you couldn't believe it, he couldn't believe it....

but you had pushed through it, you have to stay brave..

"Here.." you said grabbing his hands to hold your chest. You grew red, his warm hands was a different type of feeling of you.

you went redder at the fact he gave them a soft squeeze and let out a low rasp grunt. he were growing shocked, just as much as you. He then ran his hands slowly down you sides, causing you to jump slightly and caused you to grip his biceps.

he seen how red you were, "I'm...im sorry it..tickled." you said quietly laughing.

you seen his soft smile in return and let go of your sides to take off his tank top as well which he knew how much you loved him shirtless.

he then got off the bed facing you to remove his black sweatpants to reveal his dark gray boxers. You then laid on you back comfortably, looking his way. You then saw him open his nightstand drawer to grab out protection.

which he put it on the pillow above your head. and climbed in bed again hover over you, he then rubbed your cheek, and shared a slow passionate kiss with him, lips colliding, like you been needing each other forever.

Craving each other, grinding into each other, he unattached from your lips to kiss your neck softly, still grinding in to each other, a soft moan escaped your lips, which causes Bakugou to hold your legs harder, palms holding behind your knees.

he grabs the condom that was by you head and opens it slowly, he then was about to remove his boxers down to free his hard member under the clothing, which you stopped his hand, which removed It for him which causes him to flinch under your cold fingertips.

he then rolled the condom on, looking at you with soft hungry eyes. He hooked his fingers on your shorts and slowly pulled down, until completing off, he seen the wetness he created which was on your inner thighs as well "oh fuck" he whispered under his breathe, barley heard it. "katsuki...please.."

You begging and saying his name, just threw him over the edge.

He looked down at you, "you ready?" he said quietly. "mhm.." you said biting your lip.

"mm..god..you look...Fuck..." he said overwhelmed at your beauty. He ran his hand down your stomach to your wet folds, slid his fingers among your folds which caused you to moan which was more of a gasp.

He then slide inside you slowly, which caused you to grunt out in someone a stinging pain. "oh fuck....Shhh. I'm sorry shh..I can stop if its too much.."

"keep going...mm..." she said moaning softly, as slide all way in which cause him to grip the bed frame, "Fuck.....Y/n..."

As he slowly pumped in and out, which caused you to gasp at the pleasure.

As it got more carried away he pumps faster and faster which causes both of your skins to sweat.

"Katsuki..." you begged out.

"More Katsuki...Please"

causing him to go harder which he was hesitant too, cause he didn't want too hurt you. but he cant lie you felt amazing..

arching your back in pleasure, he puts his head in your neck and groans out, whimpers out that he's close.

"shit...mm.." is all he can make out before he feels you tighten around him which throws him over the edge and he releases, both in sync with pleasure which was an unbelievable feeling..

both panting out of breath, you look at each other and bust out in to a panting laughter.

after cleaning up and getting comfortable. he put your hair over your ear. kissed your forehead. "your my girl"...

Authors note: Hope enjoyed <3 Instagram: cherrygiggs, I'm going do a new follower private collectors giveaway! Pick from one of new followers!

#bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki #bnha #bakugou x you #mha bakugou #reqs open #mha x reader #my hero academia #bakugou smut

255 notes · View notes

totalswag · 11 months

Text

new addition — DREW STARKEY

authors note first concept! more dadxdrew content will be posted. writing about drew as a dad is one of the most cutest thing ever. this is my first time writing on here and it’s been awhile since i’ve written something so it will be a little rusty. also, thank you to those who've sent in requests, i will get to them when i can. feedback is always appreciated <3

summary welcoming your first child into the world and announcing it to the rest of the world.

A month ago you welcomed a beautiful healthy baby girl into the world. Words cannot describe the feeling of becoming a parent for the time. Each day that goes by you cherish every moment with her.

The minute you laid eyes on her, you knew deep in your heart you were meant to be in that very moment. She makes you look at the world differently.

First thing family and friends said when they met Y/D/N for the first time was that she has Drew's features, especially his eye color. But, she is the perfect mix between you both.

When Y/D/N was first born you both posted a picture showing her in her bed next to your hospital bed without showing her face because privacy is huge for Drew and you. You want to protect her from the rest of the world, it's a scary place.

Earlier this week, it hit a month since Y/D/N was born. She continues to grow everyday and never fails to make us smile.

You were in the kitchen cleaning the dishes while Y/D/N was in her swing set sound asleep in the living room; her pacifier in her mouth with her blanket to keep her warm. She loves taking naps or relaxing in her swing set. She will get fussy if you take her out when she's comfortable.

Drew was in the other room on the phone with his manager about an upcoming movie with Daniel Graig that will be filmed in Europe which meant Drew will be gone for a while.

It will be hard not having him around for a month or two but trips to see him will be planned. He’s spoken to you about it when he first got the role.

"She looks so peaceful" you are startled by Drew's voice in the kitchen. He apologizes by kissing your shoulder, "didn't mean to scare you babe."

“You scared me,” you gasped while putting the last plate in the dishwasher, “how did the call go?” You ask turning your body around facing Drew as he looks through the pantry for a snack.

“It went pretty good. We spoke about the movie, apartments since I’ll be there for a while filming and when I fly to Europe '' he explains.

He could tell you were feeling upset about the whole thing. He walks towards you with open arms, you lean into his body from the gesture.

Drew and you went into the living room and sat on the couch to watch tv.

"I think we should show our little princess to the world," Drew says while staring at his baby girl in complete awe.

"I think so too," you shift in your seat, "she's sleeping so peacefully in her swing" you add.

"Grab your phone to take a picture," Drew says.

“Actually, I took a few pictures maybe half an hour ago before she fell asleep. Here let me show you” you grab your phone from the kitchen counter and sit back to your seat, showing him the pictures.

Drew picked a picture out he wanted to post and you agreed.

Y/D/N started getting fussy in her swing. Before you could get up, Drew insisted he grab her. He picked her up carefully placing her on his chest; she tried tilting her head back, staring up at her father as he looked at the tv.

She started to make little noises catching Drew's attention. He made eye contact with her which brought a small grin to her face.

"She grinned at me" he giggles then kissing the top of her head softly.

The bond between those two makes your heart melt. From the moment Drew laid eyes on Y/D/N, you could already tell their bond will be stronger as time goes on.

She is definitely a daddy's girl. She's so attached to him. She holds onto his chain when she lays on his chest when she's awake or sleeping.

"You are the best thing that's ever happened to me and your mama" Drew softly whispers in her ear as he sways back and forth.

You took a picture of them. They looked so cute.

Spending time together as a family is one of your favorite things to do because it holds memories. This is what you've always dreamed about as a little girl and you finally have it.

You ended up posting the picture tagging Drew with the caption.

A month later and you are already getting so big. Words cannot express the joy of being your mommy. You’ve changed mine and your dads life for the better <3

Once you set your phone down, your phone immediately started blowing up with a bunch of comments from family, friends, and fans.

Drew felt his phone buzzing from the coffee table. You look at him giving him a little chuckle, lifting your arms up, indicating you want to hold Y/D/N. Drew places her in your arms; you shift your body into a comfortable position. She looks at you then looks around her.

"Everyone keeps saying she looks just like me," he chuckles, scrolling through the comments. "Well she is your daughter" you add.

"She has your smile" he also adds, nudging your shoulder.

“Thank you for carrying our daughter for nine months and pushing her out when I knew it was painful. You are such a strong, beautiful, and wonderful woman that I love so much. I can’t wait to see where our future has in store for our family” Drew’s words have never failed to make you cry when he says things like this to you. He wraps his right arm around your lower waist, pulling you closer together while kissing your lips passionately.

“You are making me tear up over here Joseph” you chuckle, wiping a few tears from your face. “But, you are the one of the main reasons why our daughter is here so thank you babe” you add on because it’s true.

“I love you” you place your hand on-top of his.

“I know” he smiles, “and i love you too princess” he leans down kissing the top of Y/D/N head. She smiles at his gesture.

#drew starkey #drew starkey x reader #drew starkey imagine #drew starkey x y/n #drew starkey x you #drew starkey x female reader #drew starkey fanfiction #rafe cameron #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron x female reader #outer banks x reader #outer banks imagines #obx fanfiction #family #dad!drew #dad!drew 🦋

862 notes · View notes

elliephile · 1 year

Text

heart to heart ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

summary: reader basically comes out to jackson ellie without actually saying it. for context reader has now been in jackson for awhile and has become close friends with ellie.

cw: no smut just kissing and making out. just ellie and reader having secret crushes on eachother & being cute. kinda inspired by dina and ellie during the blizzard. pretty wholesome besides a make out session. also not proofread!

a/n: also this is my first time writing on here and i hardly know how to work this so bare w me if I do something wrong or weird 🚶‍♀️I kept it a little short but i have a couple ideas on where to take it for another part. but i also feel like it might be good as just one part. idk hehe

It wasn’t often that Jackson welcomed new people, but when they did, it was always with open arms and generosity. That is, once whoever they found was no longer deemed a threat. You always thought Maria was better than you for that – for letting in new people, seemed too risky, but then she’d say something like “that new person was once you,” and then you’d feel kind of dumb. You’d just been in Jackson for so long now that you hardly thought about life before you stumbled upon the now familiar settlement. Regardless, life before Jackson wasn’t worth thinking about. You hated talking about things that were in any way traumatic or uncomfortable, which is probably why you didn’t have much to say when Maria was a little too enthusiastic for you to meet the new boy your age that Joel and Tommy ending up taking back to town during one of their patrols.

“He’s cute huh? Well mannered too,” Maria began, her tone rather suggestive. You simply widened your eyes, looking down at the tired, wooden bar counter of the Tipsy Bison, hoping your silence was any indication that you did not like where this was going. “I could set you and him up for patrol together, y’know? You could show him the ropes and I don’t know maybe you two—” before Maria could even finish her train of thought, you cut her off, grateful your order of two sandwiches came at what seemed like the perfect timing.

You smiled a small smile to Maria, hurriedly grabbing both sandwiches and getting yourself up to get the fuck out of there. You knew she meant well. She was always trying to be helpful but there’s no way she could have known that maybe you just didn’t like boys. In the post-apocalyptic world, sayings like “there’s plenty of fish in the sea” were simply inaccurate. It’s not like there were a ton of guys around in Jackson; maybe a few, but you never showed any interest, and you spent most of your time with Ellie anyway. Maria probably just thought you were lonely or something, but you were more than content with Ellie’s company.

“Gotta go Maria. See you around!” You didn’t really know what else to say because you knew Maria would end up doing whatever she wanted. If she envisioned you and the new guy together, it wouldn’t be long til’ she put you on patrol with him. That, and you felt indebted to her for giving you a chance at a somewhat normal life in Jackson, so you never really challenged her. Part of you wanted to come clean and tell her you just weren’t attracted to him, or any guy really, but what if the right guy just hadn’t come along? Your sexuality didn’t make sense to you, and it’s not like there were a ton of ways to figure it out. You could only go by what felt right.

As you trudged your way to the stables, holding the sandwiches close to your chest to contain their warmth, you spotted Ellie alongside Shimmer, putting her back after patrol. Excited to see her, you immediately picked your feet up, struggling to gain any speed with how deep the snow was.

“Hey” you called out, finally reaching the freckle faced girl. “When’d you get back?” your words were hard to form with how cold it was outside and despite the several layers you put on, you never got used to the snow, or the cold weather in general.

“Uhh, just a few minutes ago. You okay?” Ellie’s attention quickly diverted over to you, and though she was worried about you, she also couldn’t hold back a playful smile. Something about seeing you all flustered and cold in the snow made her wanna laugh.

“Please I know you’re holding in a laugh. I’m fucking freezing, but I brought you a sandwich. Here, catch.” A half annoyed scoff falls from your lips as you attempt to throw the sandwich, but your arm feels too frozen to move.

“You know, I think i’ll just grab it myself.” A chuckle falls from her lips and you can’t help but admire her. She seemed to be good at almost everything she did.

You avoided patrol on especially colder days, knowing how miserable you’d be, so Ellie would pick up your slack, offering to go in place of you. You took up the offer only after Ellie insisted profusely; she really cared about you, even if she seemed to be laughing at your misery right now. You always felt bad when she went out of her way for you, so you’d thank her one way or another; today you’d brought her a sandwich.

As she leaned forward into you, your stomach filled with butterflies, and even being a few inches away from her made you feel warmer. She grabbed the sandwiches, placing them in her bag before snaking her arms around you, squeezing you tightly in her hold. Your bodies were so close you could feel her cheek press against yours. “Alright. Let me keep you warm til’ we get back to my place. Consider it a thank you for bringing me food.”

You allowed yourself to lean into Ellie, letting her guide the way back. It was hardly a long walk back but the coldness made it feel like forever. Honestly though, you didn’t mind the excuse to be held by Ellie.

You two were nothing but close friends. Pretty much everyone knew one way or another that Ellie was lesbian, but you’d never expressed that you might’ve been too. Even though there was so obviously a brewing chemistry between you and her, neither of you acknowledged it and everyone else just took it as a mere friendship. It was also very possible that Ellie was utterly and completely oblivious and could never believe in a million years that you liked her.

“I don’t know how you don’t get hypothermia out there.” You mumbled, crossing your arms tightly together as the two of you dragged through the snow. Ellie shrugged, “I mean, I do get cold but I suck it up, get used to it. I guess I’m just better than you.” The two of you made eye contact, an annoyed look in your eyes as you looked right at her, “I would fucking bury you in this snow right now if I wasn’t freezing my ass off.”

If even possible at this point, Ellie leaned her head closer into yours, bringing her lips to your ears, “That’s a load of shit. You know I could take you any day. C’mon now.” She chuckled deeply, and honestly, she was probably right. Whether she was joking or not, you knew there was truth in what she said; she was completely capable of beating your ass.

You let out a dramatic sigh, “Just shut up and get me to warmth.”

“Yes ma’am.” She nudged you gently, her fingers pressing into your side as she provided you with temporary heat.

Ellie held onto you until you were completely inside, sitting you down on her bed and wrapping her blanket around you. “You look cute like that.” Ellie mumbled, causing the butterflies to return to your stomach. You stayed quiet, not sure what to say. It almost made Ellie panic when you didn’t respond.

“I didn’t mean that in a weird way. Like I’m not saying that-”

“I know.” Part you felt a little bummed that she felt the need to clarify. Maybe you wanted Ellie to be attracted to you.

Ellie handed you your sandwich before taking her own, pulling a chair and taking a seat in front of you.

You watched the way she sat on the chair, her legs spread out. Your eyes flickered over her stance, barely paying much attention to the sandwich in your hand. Ellie, on the other hand, wasted no more time getting in a bite.

“Okay, I fucking hate Seth’s bigot ass,” she began, food in her mouth, “buuut he makes a good sandwich.”

“Eat with your mouth closed, you freak.”

She paused for a moment, her eyes meeting with yours. “Oh, fuck you.”

The two of you silently devoured the sandwiches, Ellie quicker than you. When the two of you were laid in her bed, staring up at the ceiling, suffering from food coma, you randomly asked Ellie,

“How’d you know you liked girls?” It was a pretty unexpected question, given you never made a big deal out of the fact she liked girls and not boys. You never really even asked her about it.

“Hm, I think I always knew. Had a ton of girl crushes but zero boy crushes. But I think I knew for sure when I kissed Riley. Felt like my heart was gonna jump out of my chest, but in the best way possible.”

Ellie took a beat before glancing over at you. “Why the sudden curiosity?”

You thought for a moment before shrugging, “I think Maria’s trying to set me up with that new kid. Wants me to go on patrol with him because she thinks I’d like him but, I don’t see myself with him? Or any guy? Fuck I don’t know.” You let out a frustrated sigh, feeling Ellie’s arm on your hip, pushing it towards her so that you two were facing eachother now.

“Can you see yourself with a girl?”

“Maybe? I don’t know. I’ve never had a cathartic or life-changing moment to know. And I feel like I should know without that but I don’t and it’s like something is wrong with-”

If you hadn’t been so consumed in your own thoughts, you would have noticed the hesitation in Ellie’s face as she chose to cut you off.

“I’ll kiss you, if you want. Then maybe you’ll know.” Honestly, Ellie’s heart was racing just as fast as yours, and maybe she just took this as an opportunity to finally do something she’d always wanted to, but it took guts to even offer; she was afraid of being rejected.

You were shocked, but for whatever reason you wasted no time in saying yes.

You nodded your head, too nervous to even speak, and you were sure she could hear how loud and fast your heart was beating. That itself was probably enough indication that you were gay as fuck.

You felt Ellie inch closer to you, using her fingers to pull the hood completely off your head so she could see your entire face. She placed her palm over your cheek so gently, like it was her first time kissing someone when you knew it definitely wasn’t. She pressed her lips onto yours, peppering kisses one by one, gaining more confidence with each one. You leaned into her lips, surprised at how soft they felt, and for a few seconds neither of you pulled away.

When Ellie did pull away, your eyes flickered over the wet shine across Ellie’s lips, then at her eyes. “Yeah. I definitely like boys.” You joked, but your face remained absolutely serious, giving Ellie a full blown panic attack. Your lips quickly curled into a smile, and you began to laugh, causing Ellie to smack you right in your boob.

“You are such a dick y/n! Don’t fucking do that.” She groaned, shaking her head.

“Ow, I was kidding, geez,” you rolled your eyes, grabbing at the spot she smacked you, shifting your body to lay down more comfortably beside her. Something about the whole situation made your core tight and it gave you this new found bravery to push whatever this was further. “Actually, I think we should kiss again. Just to be sure that I definitely like girls.”

“No fuck you. Trial run is over, you jerk.”

“You don’t want to kiss again?”

“I mean, if you were to kiss me again, I wouldn’t stop you.”

At this point you could feel a throb in between your legs, and you pushed yourself up, swinging your leg over Ellie’s hips so that you were sat over her and you placed a sloppy kiss onto her mouth, both of you cupping each others face. Ellie deepened this kiss, the two of you a hot mess. Whether Ellie knew or not, this was your first real kiss, unless you count the time you were awkwardly kissed by the boy who had a huge crush on you when you were like 12.

You didn’t feel cold at all anymore, in fact you felt like your skin was on fire, causing you to pull your jacket off of you.

You struggled to pull the zipper down, making Ellie impatient underneath you, “hurry up,” she breathed out, lifting her head and stomach up to squeeze in a few kisses wherever she could. “I’m trying, ugh,” you murmured back before she decided to take matters into her own hands. She pushed herself up, flipping you underneath her and tugging the zipper down which allowed you to finally pull it off.

“Yeah, take that shit off.”

You didn’t really imagine ever having Ellie on top of you like this; maybe you occasionally thought about how it would feel to kiss her, especially when you’d see her with her other girls, but you never expected for any of it to actually happen. Nonetheless, you were glad. It felt good, and it felt right, and it confirmed the question you’d been wondering for a while now. Your body was feeling all sorts of things you hadn’t felt before and you didn’t want to stop feeling any of it.

You let out a hushed moan when you felt Ellie’s mouth drag across your jaw, leaving a trail of kisses down your neck. You mirrored her actions, warming up her cold skin with your warm lips. Her hands creeped up underneath your top, but she she didn’t push them any farther, instead she stayed focused up top.

Lips nearly swollen and both of you almost out of breath, the two of you pulled away, and Ellie flopped back down beside you. You grabbed her hand and placed it over your rapidly thumping chest. “Feel that? It’s my heart jumping out of my chest for you.” You giggled.

“You’re actually so dumb.”

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams tlou #ellie williams the last of us #jackson ellie #ellie williams fanfic #ellie williams fluff #ellie williams oneshot #ellie williams imagine

324 notes · View notes

jess-the-vampire · 2 years

Text

Guys, I Think The Leaks Are Fakes Made By The Owl House Crew

yes yes i know, right now that might be a WILD ass claim to make but i want those who are reading this to hear me out and read this whole post, because I've been chatting with friends since these leaks happened and i think there’s reason to suspect we might be getting punked here.

And i say this fully accepting there is a chance i could be entirely wrong about this and they could be real, but I think there’s some reason to doubt the episode actually was leaked to the internet.

Now to get those who need it up to speed, the first of the three specials for toh s3 “Thanks to Them” is airing this Saturday on the 15th, it’s a big 45 minute episode that takes place on earth in Luz’s town of Gravesfield. There was a comic con panel about it a few days ago were some fans got to see some sneak peaks, it was all over the internet and everything.

But the day after, some images floated around, 6 of them mainly, claiming to be spoilers from this episode and everyone went WILD with anger, rightfully so, this huge ass episode got leaked to the internet and spoiled for everyone? Man what a way to ruin a week huh?

Well i thought the same for awhile too, but i’ve had some time to cool down and talk to others and guys....something isn’t right about this whole situation.

Below i’m gonna explain why this whole situation feels REALLY off and why I think there might be a chance that not only did the episode NOT leak, but the leaks were fabricated by the crew itself.

And just to be safe, i will do so without showing said leaks, nor will i tell you exactly what’s in them.

Those who saw them will understand, but for those lucky enough to avoid them, i’ll give you an idea of what about them makes me and others suspect something isn’t right.

Now i’ve had episode leaks before in fandoms, it’s nothing new, they can happen to any fanbase due to issues with scheduling, or mishandling, or episodes being put up online and some people get to it fast.

So the idea of this happening isn’t odd.

However, i raise you this, because i found this to be REALLY Strange.

How come it’s only these 6 images?

Remember when ST and EE were shown privately to the TOH discord by crew members as a treat before they aired? Remember how afterwards there was a ton of images about lumity blushing and amity’s parents?

We were told the ENTIRE EPISODE was not only LEAKED, but put ONLINE.

And yet all i and anyone else have seen are these images and people claiming they’re real, and nothing else.

There were gifs, clips, dozens of frames from willow’s dad’s holding hop pop books to the “That’s rough buddy”. There was so much about these episodes the moment the internet found them.

So let me get this straight? Those episodes the moment the fandom gets them get dozens of gifs, clips, drives to watch them, screenshots, memes, and fanart.....meanwhile this HUGE 45 MINUTE EPISODE has nothing but these specific 6 images?

I’ve never seen anything besides these images floating around when it comes to the the claim the episode was put out, there are no clips, no audio, no gifs, no dialogue being mentioned, nothing.

Is that not strange?

Don’t you guys think if the entire episode was leaked we’d see more then these specific images? Don’t you think we’d see MORE then these shots?

Like this is a big episode, and there is nothing else worth spoiling? Nothing about the wittebanes? lumity? Huntlow? any other big reveals? You’d think if the episode was revealed those would be leaked too right?

Isn’t it so odd that these are the only leaks out there? if there’s video, why doesn’t it seem to be posted anywhere? Heck, where is the video that shows off what’s happening in the leaks with the biggest spoilers?

it’s also strange how this got “Leaked” over a week before the episode comes out, because how in the heck would someone get access to the full episode THAT early? When episodes usually leak, if they aren’t shown privately, it’s either the day before or because of a scheduling error.

So that also seems odd.

There’s also this to consider, the content of the images themselves.

I won’t go into detail obviously, but you know what i found so off-putting? That the images in question proved a specific theory, proved a few theories and predictions people were floating around the fanbase...theories that aren’t something that’s strongly supported by any current evidence or even liked by quite a few people.

The last images are so....out of nowhere too. They’re sequential enough that they could tell a story of what happened without context and some of them are DEFINTENLY SHOCKING.

But the first two, they have nothing to do with the context of those last 4, so why did they get leaked? they reveal nothing, they’re also things we get to see in the promos that just were released.

Except, if you consider they were “Leaked” to make these leaks seem more real.

Don’t you think it’s odd two of the leaks are things that ended up in the promo that showed up later that day? i mean, what are the CHANCES?

But if you were on the crew, and you wanted the fans to buy into the leaks, you WOULD pair up the fakes with real ass images the fans would see later that day wouldn’t you?

It’s so oddly deliberate.

You would also make leaks that would support big theories and have shock value so people were bound to spread them more. Which is EXACTLY what these ones are.

And if you’re on the crew, you know what the characters are wearing, so even easier to make them look real, because no matter what clips are shown in any disney promos or commercials they will appear to line up with the leaks.

There’s also other off stuff, like how one image is VERY oddly cropped compared to the others, or some character inconsistencies, some even seemingly off model.

“But the 6 minutes in HD are a thing-”

yeah and if someone wanted to fool the fanbase into thinking these leaks were real they WOULD release the 6 minutes alongside it to claim the episode had to be out.

The thing is, the 6 minutes have already been leaked to the fanbase from the nycc panel to the entire fanbase the moment it ended, it’s not as if putting the hd version out there will spoil anything because everyone already basically saw it.

And again, if the episode is OUT, why is that the ONLY footage that appears to have been posted anywhere? The footage we the fans already know about and saw?

And i wanna send off the rest of the suspicious details about these leaks by talking about the crew.

The crew, has been DEAD SILENT about these leaks, they have not said a word about these specific ones, not even to warn fans about them or how upset they are or anything.

So....

Which is not what they usually do, they have warned fans before, so why not warn us about these supposed BIG leaks about a big episode?

And ok, maybe they don’t wanna make a fuss about them, fair enough, but there’s something else.

Rebecca Rose, who works on this show, liked this tweet just recently.

Now for those who don’t know, Alex Hirsh (Voice of King and Hooty) is the creator of Gravity Falls, another Disney Cartoon. That cartoon is infamous for it’s mysteries and secrets, and Alex, actually made a fake leak about a major spoiler to troll the entire fanbase.

He made this tweet after it successfully tricked the fans.

Now not only does he work on this show too, but you wanna know where these “Leaks” started out? 4chan and reddit.

Same place his did.

What are the chances?

What are the chances a crew members likes this old tweet about his stunt NOW of all times? When the episode has supposedly been leaked?

Now would it suck to assume the entire fanbase got fooled into thinking the episode was leaked and all the posts made about shaming the leakers were completely for nothing?

Oh yeah.

For the crew to pull this stunt and make us all look like doofuses would be insane.

But i think there’s reason to find this whole situation off and i hope this post makes you all reconsider some details you might not of considered before. Maybe we were leaked, maybe this is all a huge coincidence.

But if you ask me.

This is all too fishy for my liking.

861 notes · View notes

billybob598 · 10 months

Text

Me and You (Alyssa Thompson x Reader)

WOO! I posted, be proud of me!!! Sooooo, requested by anon, I hope this is kinda what you wanted. As always, any feedback good or bad is welcomed. Have fun reading!

Word Count: 762 (Short asf. Sorry if its too short)

As you sit beside your girlfriend on the bus, the nerves start to overwhelm your body. This was officially your first-ever World Cup and you couldn’t be more excited, or nervous. Alyssa was sitting beside you, like always. This was an equally special moment for her as it was her first World Cup as well.

You guys had met when you were six or seven. You were originally friends with Gisele, for a couple of years you were always hanging out with the younger sister. Alyssa and you never talked much until you were both in the same high school. Everyone knew how good Alyssa was, she was always going away for tournaments and playing with all the different national teams. You, on the other hand, were much more low-profile. While you did go away for tournaments, they weren’t televised like Alyssa’s were. As high school progressed the pair of you got closer, you being one of the only people who really understood what Alyssa was going through. Just before your guys’ senior years started, Alyssa asked you out. You had definitely been crushing on her for awhile so of course you said yes.

That was over a year ago now. You and her had been dating ever since. You were with her when she was drafted first overall and she was with you when you announced your decision to attend UCLA. And now, both of you were heading to the World Cup at just 18 years old.

You know for a fact that your girlfriend is just as nervous as you are so, during the pitch inspection you aren’t surprised when she puts her Airpods in and doesn’t talk to anyone. You respect her wishes and walk around with Trinity and Ashley instead. Just as everyone goes to lineup in the tunnel, you turn to your girlfriend in hopes to do your pre-game handshake. It was something you guys had done for years now. As you reach your fist out to begin the handshake Alyssa just rolls her eyes at you.

“Come on Y/N, we can’t be doing those silly little things anymore, we’re in the World Cup,” she says, slightly aggravated. Her statement shocks you. Never once had you guys not done the handshake. Before you even have a chance to respond she’s making her way out onto the field with the rest of the subs. Lining up behind Sophia, you try your best to shake it off.

The first half of the game is probably the worst forty-five minutes of football you’ve ever played in your life. It seems like every decision you make is the wrong one, every pass, every tackle, and every dribble is just off. Alyssa can only watch and cringe from the bench. Was this because of her? She knew she was being a dick earlier, but did it really affect you that much? God, she felt horrible. She pretty much just ruined your World Cup debut.

Alyssa watches from afar as you walk into the locker room, head hanging low. She musters up just enough courage to walk over to you. You feel her presence before you actually see her. However, you still keep your head low and your eyes on the floor. Alyssa kneels in front of you and tilts your chin up until your eyes meet hers.

“You did good,” she says softly.

You scoff, “Yeah, for an 8 year old that was a 10/10 performance. I wouldn’t be surprised if Vlatko subs me off, I know I would.”

“Hey, don’t think like that. You were just nervous, Vlatko knows that, he also knows how much of an amazing player you are,” Alyssa says in attempt to get you motivated. You nod, shifting your eyes away from hers. You had been nervous, sure. But, you both knew why you had played so bad. Alyssa takes a deep breath before apoligizing,

“I’m sorry. I should have done the handshake, it doesn’t matter if we’re in the World Cup or not. It’s still me and you.” You immediately perk up.

“Me and you?”

“Yeah, me and you,” Alyssa says proudly.

For the entirety of Vlatko’s halt-time talk, you and Alyssa were holding hands. And just before you went back onto the pitch, you guys completed your handshake, punctuated with a kiss on the cheek. The second half went more your way. It got even better when Alyssa joined you on the pitch. It was a dream come true, you and your girlfriend playing together in the World Cup. Just her and you.

#alyssa thompson #woso imagine #woso x reader #uswnt x reader #alyssa thompson x reader

176 notes · View notes

hyperfixationsporfavor · 4 months

Text

A Quarter-life Crisis

Synopsis: Higuruma takes some time to think with the aide of his ex-wife.

Author's note: Hey guys! I shared a bit of this fic awhile ago so here is the completed version. Feedback is always welcomed. Enjoy!

Warnings: brief reference to suicidal imagery, mental health struggles, divorce

Original Post

Hiromi had never thought of himself as a defender of justice, moreso a man with the inability to leave things alone, the need to pursue the truth.

This persistence had finally managed to work against him

When the judge announced a guilty verdict for his client, he made eye contact with Hiromi, giving him the withering stare of betrayal. It burrowed into his gut, stabbing him and taking him out of himself for a moment. All of a sudden everything faded into the background as his body took control, a swelling feeling pounding in his chest. He got up from his seat and stalked over to the bench. With a shaky hand he grasped the gavel and lifted it over his head.

Bang.

Then he lifted it again.

BANG.

Then again.

BANG. BANG. BANG.

Everyone stared in startled confusion, unsure of what he was doing.

Shimizu, his associate, rushed over to where he stood with a worried look on her face.

“Mr. Higuruma?” she asked.

But he wasn’t there. He was long gone.

“Everyone come back. We’re having a retrial.”

The older judge furrowed his brow in annoyance.

“Is this some kind of joke?”

“You're a joke,” he retorted.

The judge’s face turned red in anger.

“Mr. Higuruma. If you don’t collect yourself I’ll hold you in contempt.”

Hiromi gripped the gavel in his hand so hard his knuckles turned white.

Without a warning he hurled the gavel at the window, shattering it in one fell swoop.

“Listen Higuruma, it’s nothing personal. We just need you to take a few days so we can clear the air.”

“I want a return date,” he insisted.

“I’m afraid I can’t give you that. Get your things. Go home. Rest. We’ll be in touch.”

Hiromi was on vacation.

At least, that was his office's official statement.

In actuality, he was waiting to see if he still had a job after his small incident in court.

Small being the understatement of the century.

Hiromi had been wallowing, mostly sleeping. The only light in his small apartment was from the television, replaying the same three movies over and over again.

His phone buzzed on the coffee table and he reached out to grab it, squinting to read the name.

(Name).

He arrived at your apartment at around eight.

When you opened the door a sense of relief washed over him, something he hadn’t felt since his ‘break’ started.

“Hey stranger,” you warmly greeted.

He couldn’t help but smile. “Hey.”

“I knew the second we got divorced your life would take a nosedive,” you prodded.

“And I knew your life would get infinitely better,” Higuruma retorted.

You led him to the couch and made your way over to the liquor cabinet to fix him something.

“Whiskey?” you asked.

“Please.”

You poured some for him and yourself, pressing the glass into his hand and joining him.

He took a moment to observe your apartment. Spacious and decorated with luxurious furniture. It made his place look like a broom closet.

“So should we drink until we forget why you're here or would you rather talk?” you asked.

Hiromi looked down at his whiskey glass. “It’s been about two weeks since I’ve actually spoken to another human being so I’m not sure how great of a conversationalist I’d be.”

You set your whiskey glass down on the coffee table and crossed your arms, wrinkling your silk pajamas and matching robe.

“We really don’t need to talk Hiromi, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

How did you see him? How did everyone else see him? Some nutcase that had thrown his career away, holed up in his apartment, sprawled out in a bathtub with his wrists slit, still in the suit?

God how morbid.

But the situation he found himself in had caused his mind to go to some dark places.

“I appreciate it (Name). Really. How did you find out?”

“Everyone’s talking about it.”

Of course.

The legal world was abuzz with the news of an exemplary public defender who took a stand in the courtroom. At least, that’s what one of the headlines read.

“Of course. That was a stupid question.”

“I couldn’t believe it. What on earth possessed you?”

Hiromi knocked back his whiskey and set the empty glass on the table next to yours.

“I honestly have no idea. It was like…losing control of myself for a second.”

“Any word from the court yet?”

He shook his head. “It’s been almost two weeks. I just wish they’d get it over with already.”

“You really think they’ll take away your license?”

“Well I insulted a judge, damaged federal property, do you have any vodka?”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be. I should have just accepted it and moved on.

You smirked. “You know you’ve never been able to move on from an unsolved problem.”

“I got a divorce didn’t I?”

You chuckled. “Well you could always do improv comedy.”

Your phone buzzed and you retrieved it to see who it was.

“It’s the office. Do you mind?” you asked.

He shook his head. “Go ahead.”

“Hey Kento.”

You got up and headed into the kitchen to continue the conversation.

While you chatted, Hiromi's attention was caught by an old photo of you on the mantle over the fireplace. He recognized it instantly, having taken the picture himself. It was from your second date where the two of you had gone to the beach. He remembered chasing you into the surf, nearly stepping on a washed up jellyfish. The photo was of you looking back at him, a smile frozen on your face.

All of a sudden he felt a little uncomfortable being here. The two of you had a past, you had been married, then divorced. Was it even possible for you to be friends after that?

You interrupted his train of thought, reentering the room.

“Sorry about that. We're negotiating this contract and the client’s convinced that if we're not working around the clock the deal will fall through.”

He stood up.

“Then maybe I should go.”

You shook your head. “Don’t be silly.”

“No (Name). I mean…I don’t think this is appropriate.”

You furrowed your brow in confusion. “What isn’t appropriate?”

“This. Us. Shit. This isn’t weird for you? Us hanging out.”

“No,” you simply answered. “Is it weird for you?”

No. It had been as easy as reciting the alphabet. But it scared him, and he didn’t want to drag you back into his increasingly fucked up world. Not when you were doing so well.

“No,” he uncertainly answered. “It’s normal.”

“And being normal with me is a readjustment?” you concluded.

He sighed in defeat.

You took a step towards him. “Hiromi. I understand that our relationship is different from what it used to be. But I’m always here for you if you need someone to talk to.”

“But you don’t have to be, is what I’m trying to say.”

“I want to be,” you assured him.

And just like that he was readjusted.

After Hiromi had calmed down you ordered Chinese takeout and put on The Graduate.

“I thought you said this movie is pretentious.”

“It is but it’s easy to enjoy when you're not watching it with a pretentious person,” you retorted.

“Just for that I’m taking the last soup dumpling.”

The movie wrapped up with Benjamin and Elaine running away together. Joyously laughing as the bus drove off, only to slowly realize the massive mistake they had made.

As Simon and Garfunkel played them off Hiromi asked a question.

“Why didn’t it work out?”

“They were young and stupid,” you concluded.

“No, us,” he clarified.

You stabbed the fried rice with your chopstick. “For the exact same reason. We were still in school, convinced we’d make a difference, too naive to think out the long term.”

“And this is it?” he asked.

You sighed. “I’m afraid so.”

You set the takeout box on the coffee table next to your empty scotch glasses and faced your ex husband.

“Do you think if we had met later in life, things would be different?”

“I’m not sure,” he truthfully answered. “We always wanted different things so maybe not.”

He cleared his throat, not sure if he should continue. “But even if it didn’t work out. I still don’t regret being with you.”

You gave him a soft smile. “Neither do I.”

He leaned back against the couch and looked up at the ceiling. “(Name). I have no idea what I’m going to do. Even if they let me keep practicing I can’t keep going like this.”

It was draining him. At this rate he wouldn’t even make it to forty.

“Maybe, a change of environment?” you suggested.

He lifted his head to look at you. “My firm has a pretty big dedication to pro bono work. You could still do what you're doing on the side with more funds and a lighter workload.”

Working in private corporate law? It was almost impossible to imagine himself with a secretary and expensive lunch meetings.

Before he could respond you spoke again. “I know how you feel about private interests and you will have to see those types of things up close. But promise me you’ll think about it.”

After a moment an earth shattering realization hit him.

Damn. He was falling for you again. And he wasn’t sure what to do about it.

For the first time in his life he wasn’t sure about anything.

“Yes, I’ll definitely think about it.”

Hiromi got home at around two in the morning.

You had offered to let him stay in your guest bedroom but he had politely declined, afraid of what the two of you under one roof could lead to.

He was about to collapse into bed when his phone rang.

“Hello?” he answered.

“Hiromi?” Shimizu answered on the other end. “Thank goodness you're awake.”

“Yeah,” he replied. “What can I do for you?”

“I was working late at the office when I got the fax. Some interns messed up so it came in later than it should have.”

“What?”

“You’ll have to meet with hr but your back. They’re letting you keep your license.”

“...Really?”

“Your record worked in your favor. And who else would work as hard as you do for such crappy pay?”

Shimizu didn’t get a response back.

“Hiromi?”

“That’s great. Really…but I need some time to think.”

“About what?”

“What’s best for me.”

Your smile came back to him.

He had a lot to figure out.

It was a little late in life for him to be thinking about new jobs and new relationships. Maybe he was being rash. But he didn’t care.

Better late than never.

The End.

Taglist: @lynn-edits

#higuruma x reader #higuruma hiromi #jjk x reader #ao3 fanfic #hyperfixationsporfavor

59 notes · View notes

teddypickerry · 1 year

Note

Could you write something angsty for Alex?

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐋 𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄.

pairing! alex turner x fem reader

summary! in which alex’s lack of songs leads to him writing something he shouldn’t

word count! 1k

warnings! none

a/n! this fucking sucks. i don’t know why i hate this so much. one of my friends read it and loved it but i cannot get into it. BUT I LOVE ALEX SO I AM POSTING IT. probs cause it’s 4am and i’m tired (never). also i left the the ending kinda up to you. if you want him to apologize then you can imagine that or if you want her to dump his sorry ass then slay!

PARALLEL UNIVERSE. the exact words your boyfriend had jotted down on a notepad left in the sitting room. you'd got home from work, noticing a mess of things on the coffee table and chair where you could assume your boyfriend alex had sat all afternoon. he was currently in between tours and albums meaning, he was drawing inspiration from everything. for some reason he was in dire need of lyrics as if he didn't just release an album a year ago.

alex's process, that he'd explained to you the evening prior, consisted of needing lyrics by the end of the next year after the album. which made no sense to you but apparently to him it was all worked out in his brain. so he'd spent the past few months jotting down every word that interested him. sure it got frustrating, he left dinner with your sister the other day because he had a writing epiphany. only to have you come home two hours later to a rather pissed off version of him. him going on about messing up the beat and locking himself in his office for the rest of the evening.

alex was irritable and frustrated with his lack of inspiration and you honestly party blamed yourself. with his exes, he'd had several love songs that could have been mistaken for poems lined up. the thoughts of you possibly being at fault for this version of your boyfriend woke you up during the early hours of the morning. there was a part of you that worried you weren't enough for the romantic man. and your biggest fears seemed to shine the moment your eyes crossed over the notepad. the title scribbled 'parallel universe' in alex's sloppy handwriting. below were crossed out messy lines of writing. all hurting you more than the next.

'in some parallel universe, i know you

held me tighter. i tried harder. you spoke,

"look my love, i will look for you in every

lifetime." i didn't have you in this one so,

i'll have to wait for the next'

that was enough to have your heart beating out of your chest. there was more written at the bottom, but you couldn't bother. you'd felt betrayed. it didn't matter who it was about but he did at least owe you that. not that you ever wanted to hear it. hear who he was thinking about this way, dreaming about being in the arms of while actually in yours. the feeling was indescribable.

the hum of the tv was the only thing beside your heavy breaths that you'd heard. not acknowledging the sound of footsteps down the hallway into the living room, where you stood. your back towards him as he stopped in the doorway. "thought that was you. thought i heard the door. look- i think i finally have something figured out so maybe we can go out to that place you like in a bit. the one with the blue drink that you always get and have a proper night out. it's been awhile..." his warm voice trailed off at your silence, and lack of acknowledgment of him.

you let out a deep breath before turning your head, noticing the man with a white towel wrapped around his waist. his hair was dripping wet besides one strand over his eyes. he looked so fucking good, and that fucking hurt.

the expression on your face told him something not that it was correct in anyway. "we don't have to go there, i mean.." he licked his lips. "we could always stay here tonight, order in... stay in bed."

you didn't know why you let him ramble on. maybe because there was a part of you that hoped the paper in your hand was a lyric nick wrote, or maybe jamie, or probably matt... married matt. "alex?"

"hm?" he hummed uncomfortably as he stepped closer to you, securing the towel in the process. his eyes finally caught the prize. the notepad still in your hand visible for all to see. he could have sworn he shit himself. "y/n-"

"why-" you huffed as you stepped back from him. "i'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume this is miles' words, not yours." the silence on the other end answered your question as you felt something sharp in your soul. like you were being cut in half, your heart at least. "alex," you whined as pure pain took over. p

"angel," alex called out as you only shook your head. he tried to step closer once more as you backed up, now against the wall. he sighed and stepped back assuring his defeat. "it's just words. just some lyrics, i needed something to write so-"

"so you decided to declare your love for your ex? dream about her holding onto you?" you scoffed as his body stiffened and he turned his head slightly. "no-"

"then what the fuck is this then?" you held up the paper as your eyes began to sting. alex gulped at the sight of your pain. "angel, i had nothing okay? so i tapped into a place i haven't been in forever- years, haven't felt that in years. but i needed something dramatic and devotional."

"then write about your goddamn girlfriend! or make something up, what the hell, alex?" your voice threatened a yell as he sighed and attempted to step closer to you. "this is my job, baby. this is what i do for a living. i don't-"

"just," you started before biting your lip and crossing your arms. "i can't do this right now. i can't be with you right now," you mumbled as you grabbed your purse and jacket. all sat on the chair where you'd left them not even five minutes ago. alex's breathing got heavier as he watched you slip on your jacket. he tried to stop you. he tried to tell you that his words meant nothing. but maybe you'd listen, maybe in a parallel universe.

#teddypickerry #alex turner x reader #alex turner #arctic monkeys fic #alex turner fic #angst

147 notes · View notes

fantastic-nonsense · 1 year

Note

You mentioned about your cass cain reddit post (read it all and loved it btw) that you knew even more behind the scenes dc drama than what made it into the post. If you’re comfortable with it and still remember, would you like to share some of the behind the scenes dc drama that didn’t make it into that post now? (Ofc just ignore/delete this ask if you’re not comfortable with it I was just curious XD)

Necessary context: this ask is referring to this write-up I did for r/HobbyDrama a little over a year ago, which I offhandedly mentioned to a couple of people awhile back was "9 pages in a Word doc and STILL left a bunch of stuff out."

Okay so most of the stuff I left out, I left out because it was more about Barbara or Steph and the larger situation around how DC handled the Batgirl mantle more generally than it was about Cass and the whole debacle that happened there. Since the post was already getting so long, I chose to just not talk about a lot of that for length purposes and to keep the write-up more focused on a) Cass as a character, b) editorial or creative decisions that actually impacted Cass specifically, and c) top-level issues, since the write-up was geared towards an audience who largely doesn't read comics. I also left a few things out because they're somewhat hearsay and/or "known to be true but technically unverifiable information," mostly for credibility reasons.

Largely, the thing you have to understand about DC's treatment of Cass is that there was a major power struggle at DC between those who wanted Barbara Gordon to become Batgirl again and those who wanted Cassandra Cain to remain Batgirl. The "Babs vs. Cass" fight and viewing Cass's treatment within the context of this massive internal push for Batgirl!Babs is the backdrop through which the majority of this industry drama needs to be understood, because otherwise a lot of the stuff that happened to Cass doesn't make much logical sense.

So, with that being said...here's a list of eight things I either cut entirely or barely mentioned that may not necessarily be directly related to Cass but are nonetheless relevant to the larger debacle of "DC's mishandling of the Batgirl mantle" that impacted Cass's character trajectory. General warning for the immense psychic damage you will inevitably experience if you read this and its length, because between the screenshots and quotes and explanations this ended up being much longer than I expected it to be.

Yvonne Craig: The first major thing that I chose to cut was a paragraph about Yvonne Craig, the actress who played Barbara Gordon in Batman '66, and the near hero-worship that a lot of (specifically middle-aged, white male) creatives, editors, and managers at DC had for her. Basically, the broad strokes of this issue is that due to their weird obsession with Yvonne Craig's Babs–which is probably due to them having childhood crushes they never got over–several men with power within DC (including Dan Didio himself) shared a sentiment that Barbara was the "one true Batgirl" and no one else but her should ever be Batgirl. Basically: if Barbara Gordon couldn't be Batgirl, Batgirl as a mantle wasn't worth using at all. This led a concentrated decade-long effort to put Babs back in the Batgirl cowl, which obviously influenced the various attempts to push Cass out of the role.

I chose to cut it for two reasons: it was more related to Babs and why there was such a coordinated effort to make Babs Batgirl again rather than Cass as a character unto herself, and it's largely "very well-respected and often-repeated hearsay, but still hearsay." The prevalence it had within the rank-and-file creatives at DC is suspect, but we know that several prominent creators, editors, and upper management shared that perspective (even if they largely don't talk about it on-record). We know this sentiment absolutely existed; Scott Peterson, for example, talked a bit about how "crazy he was for Yvonne Craig" in his interview about creating Cass. It's just not a particularly well-sourced discussion point and was more suited for a write-up on Babs than it was a write-up on Cass.

Batwoman's Costume Design: I barely mentioned Kate in the write-up and only in relation to how Cass's book was cancelled to make way for the theoretical Batwoman solo book that never happened, but there's actually a lot of really interesting industry drama behind Kate's creation. Specifically as it regards Batgirl...Kate's costume was originally meant for Barbara, per Alex Ross:

"The design I did was initially for the proposed idea of a new version of Batgirl, so it was intended to be another stab at bringing back Barbara Gordon, or having the new Batgirl be costumed as a tribute to her, maybe even with a red-haired wig." -Alex Ross, "Giving Batwoman Her Look"

Ross and Paul Dini had been planning to revive Babs as Batgirl for years, but Bat Office Head Editor Denny O'Neil was staunchly against it so it never happened:

"Paul Dini had this idea of putting Barbara Gordon in the Lazarus Pit to revive her…spine, I guess," Ross said. "At least, that's what he would've done in the television show had they continued doing more cartoons, and her spine was broken the way it was. I thought it was a great idea, and we pitched then-Batman editor Denny O'Neil with these drawings of that costume design.........and that went nowhere. Denny shot it down, because, according to him, everybody loves Barbara Gordon as Oracle and as a handicapped character. The theory was that DC didn't have enough handicapped characters, so they weren't going to do anything with Barbara as she was. And the design went into the drawer." -from "Giving Batwoman her Look"

When O'Neil retired in 2002, the floodgates opened and we started seeing a concentrated creative/editorial push to make Babs Batgirl again. Of course by that time Cass was already well-established, so Ross's design was later re-purposed for Kate Kane's Batwoman and the power struggle largely manifested in a gradual sidelining of Cass from major Bat events (starting with Hush, as I mentioned in the write-up) in an effort to pave the way for putting Babs back in the cowl. Which brings me to the next piece of industry drama I cut.

War Games: There's...a lot of industry drama behind both the conception and execution of War Games. Most of it isn't particularly relevant to this answer or the original write-up, but there are two things that are. One, the fact that Stephanie's death was mandated by editorial and everyone involved knew it was coming. This is what prompted Steph's temporary takeover of the Robin mantle. Depending on who you believe, either Robin writer Bill Willingham, Batgirl writer Dylan Horrocks, Detective Comics writer/Bat Office editor Andersen Gabrych, or Dan Didio himself suggested that Stephanie become Robin as a story trick for readers and a sort of narrative "consolation prize" in preparation for the fact that they were about to kill her:

“The whole way through it was planned purely as a trick to play on the readers, that we would fool them into thinking that the big event was that Stephanie Brown would become Robin but we knew all along it was a temporary thing, and she was then going to die at the end of this crossover story.” -Dylan Horrocks at Auckland Writers and Readers Fest in 2011

"I knew coming into the Robin series that Spoiler was doomed to die. And I wouldn’t have done that, but that was already locked in even before I came on Robin, so I had no point at which to say you shouldn’t do this. But, I did I have this hair-brained idea that, well, if she was going to die — she was such a frustrated character…I mean, everything she wanted out of life she pretty much didn’t get. So, can we give her one little reward before she dies and let her become Robin for awhile." -Bill Willingham for Word Balloon in 2012

"You know, me and Stephanie, we go way back. The story with Stephanie Brown goes, they came to me as Executive Editor with the "War Games" story, and said 'we're going to kill Stephanie Brown.' I knew Stephanie Brown for who she was, and said, 'I don't know, if this is going to be the big ending to your story it doesn't feel big enough at the time, because the character wasn't strong enough yet.' So I said, 'Why don't we make her Robin for a short period of time, build some interest in her, and then we kill her!'" -Dan Didio for Newsarama

Steph becoming the major collateral damage of the immediate post-O'Neil editorial era would later set the stage for why she was viewed as an acceptable compromise choice to become Batgirl during the Reborn era.

Two, the writer of Cass's solo at the time, Dylan Horrocks, was so discomforted and offended by the concept of the story (and particularly its treatment of Steph) that he deliberately kept Cass out of the event's "main action" as much as possible during her tie-in issues. This has been widely reported for years and while Horrocks himself rarely goes on record about it, he has made some comments that more-or-less confirm it:

Horrocks: "I'd write [Batgirl] very differently today....for me, it was...complicated. One day I'll write about the experience properly. The War Games event was deeply depressing." -Dylan Horrocks on Twitter in 2012/2013

Sidenote: War Games was actually the last straw for both Ed Brubaker and Horrocks; Brubaker was fed up with all the editorial mandates/executive meddling and Horrocks was frustrated by the Bat Office's misogynistic and grimdark story direction, so they both left right after (Brubaker for Marvel to write Bucky Barnes' resurrection and Horrocks for indie comics).

So why are Horrocks' writing choices relevant to DC's subsequent treatment of Cass? Well, as I stated in the original write-up, it heralded the beginning of a "there can be only one" era for female Bat characters. DC could handle the idea of several male Batfam members running around at the same time but apparently more than one female Bat at a time (regardless of moniker) was just too much for them. It was also the last major Bat event to feature Cass in any significant capacity until her post-reboot reintroduction. So while she was largely removed from the action for good reasons, War Games stands as a haunting precursor to the direction DC was headed with her character: sidelined and replaced in favor of characters editors were planning on using (Kate), could agree on using (Steph), or liked more (Babs).

Batgirl (2008)'s Sales Performance: I cut this bullet point largely because it's ultimately a footnote in the larger saga that was Cass's limbo years. Basically, after the resolution of the Evil Cass arc DC reassured fans that they "had plans" for Cass as Batgirl. This later manifested via her appearances in the Batman and the Outsiders (2007) run and (eventually) a new solo mini. Unfortunately, Batgirl: Redemption Run didn't perform nearly as well as DC hoped for a variety of reasons: many Cass fans swore it off due to it being written by Adam Beechen (the writer who wrote her heel-face turn in the first place), the first issue was poorly written, the story wasn't particularly engaging, etc. The tepid reception and subsequent poor sales of this mini were then used to retroactively justify booting Cass out of the Batgirl mantle entirely during the aftermath of Bruce's death in Final Crisis and the Battle for the Cowl event.

However, DC was already planning on taking Batgirl from Cass and giving it back to Babs at the time, and it likely would have happened even if the mini had done well. The way we know? This image foretelling the events of the Reborn era and Blackest Night was teased in the final issue of Dick's Nightwing solo, as was this one from the end of Babs' Birds of Prey run. That's not Cass kissing Dick, folks; that's Barbara Gordon, Batgirl once again. This planned choice was, as I stated on Reddit, later confirmed by Dan Didio in an Editor's Column during Steph's Batgirl run, who said that at one point Babs was "as close to being Batgirl again as Dick was to being dead in Infinite Crisis" (which is to say, very nearly a done deal). I suspect that only a last-minute internal writer revolt–particularly from Gail Simone, who we know was a vocal supporter of keeping Babs Oracle–stopped it from happening.

Cass's Absence in Battle for the Cowl: I mentioned this in the original write-up but largely glossed over the particulars. In-universe, Cass had just been adopted by Bruce, was fully Batgirl again, and was largely reconciled to the rest of the Batfamily after the Evil Cass arc. And yet her only appearances during the Battle for the Cowl event (and the aftermath of Final Crisis more generally) were cameos in the main book and a main role in the BftC: The Network tie-in oneshot. Literally the only thing she did for the entire duration of BftC was create the Network, which helped the Bats deal with Gotham rogues, and take out a few criminals alongside Huntress. So you have DC continually downplaying and sidelining Cass in a story where she reasonably should have had a major, co-starring role. This event also marked her final appearance as Batgirl, which leads into the next issue I cut.

Batgirl (2009)'s Marketing: this one's very complicated and doing it justice would involve tracking down a lot of old ads and interviews revolving around how DC solicited and marketed this book in the lead-up to the reveal that Stephanie Brown was the new Batgirl, which I simply didn't have time to do at the time of the original write-up and ultimately would have just sidetracked the whole thing, but in short: readers didn't actually know who the protagonist of the new Batgirl solo was going to be when the title was announced. DC had cancelled Birds of Prey and announced both a new Batgirl book and a miniseries called "Oracle: Search for the Cure" (which later became Oracle: The Cure). So Babs' return to the cowl was being solidly teased, but Cass was still Batgirl and showed no real signs of wanting to give up the mantle.

DC's marketing and editorial teams played up this ambiguity by baiting both Babs and Cass fans in order to drive sales: this included teasing ads, early issue solicts that deliberately obscured who was wearing the cape, and a refusal to confirm who the Batgirl of the upcoming solo title would be during interviews and con panels. They chose to heighten the ambiguity even within the title itself: early covers of the run often obscure Steph's hair, eyes, and sometimes even her whole face; the first two issue covers even feature Steph in both Cass's and Babs' Batgirl suits to heighten the confusion. So was the Batgirl of the new title going to be a newly "cured" Barbara Gordon, a second shot for Cassandra Cain, or someone new entirely?

Obviously, none of these things happened. As we all know, Stephanie became Batgirl. The choice to make Steph Batgirl was a compromise decision, as Didio mentions in his editor's note (linked above):

"After long discussions it was agreed that Oracle had become such a strong character there was no sense going back. And since we wanted to make a change, Cassandra no longer seemed right for the role (Not to worry Cassandra fans; plans are afoot, in a very big way, for our favorite non-lethal assassin in 2010). As for Wendy, Bette, and Misfit, none felt strong enough for the position. That left us with the one choice we all agreed on, Stephanie Brown......from the time of her death to the outcry for a memorial and ultimately to her return, there is no denying that her character had connected with a portion of our fanbase and, more important, connected to the Batfamily. It just seemed to make sense that she was the one, and given her history and ties to all the members of Batman's world, the potential is there to make this new Batgirl the one fans will be speaking about for a very long time."

So as previously stated, Steph's treatment during the War Games era ultimately set the stage for her to be the compromise choice for the new Batgirl; she became this interim buffer character because everyone at DC was fighting over Babs vs. Cass and she was the only one everyone could agree deserved the title, and she thrived in that role over the next two years. And a new Birds of Prey book was then announced in the aftermath of Oracle: The Cure and Blackest Night, so Babs' prominence as Oracle survived for another two years until the New 52.

But Cass? Well...Cass unceremoniously handed the Batgirl mantle off to Steph, seemingly fucked off for no discernable reason, and showed up in a grand total of six issues across the entire Batbook slate over the next two years while being largely written out of the Batfam's history and having her reasoning for leaving Gotham retconned from being a choice into being an order from Bruce. Which segues us directly into the next piece of drama that I somewhat glossed over in the original write-up.

The Reborn-era Editorial Erasure Edicts: Bryan Q. Miller, the writer on Steph's Batgirl solo, was under strict editorial edict to basically not mention Cass or include her in the run if he didn't absolutely have to. For example, when he asked editorial if there was a reason why Cass left Gotham, they basically told him "she leaves. why? Because she just does, so your book can exist. Come up with a reason to make her leave and then don't use her."

This era is still pretty opaque in terms of what we know about what various writers were and weren't able to do with Cass, but we do know that Miller specifically was disallowed from featuring her in-person in Batgirl and highly discouraged from mentioning her in general. However, he noted on multiple occasions that he liked Cass and would be happy to use her:

Babs and Steph are the core of this title, no doubt about it. While we'll have another passing reference/flashback to Cassandra soon, I'm leaving the rest of Cassandra's story to whichever lucky duck gets to write her elsewhere in 2010. As for Batwoman, I'm leaving Kate in Rucka's capable hands for the time being. -Miller in an interview with CBR in 2009

If at some point the story I’m telling feels like it can only be told with Cassandra as a part of it, then believe me, I’ll try to find a way to work her in. As it stands currently, however, Cassandra’s fate and future are not in my hands. -Miller in an inerview for Broken Frontier in 2010

Had the book continued past Issue #24, we know that Cass would have had a recurring role as Black Bat in the present day as well as being featured in a Batgirls time-travel story, teased through one of Steph's Black Mercy hallucinations in that final issue. Other than that, we still have no real idea to what extent Cass's presence would have been allowed in the Batgirl book had the New 52 not happened.

Now, I will note that some of the omissions of Cass during Steph's run were seemingly his choice. He's mentioned that he left Cass off of Steph's infamous "Batfamily whiteboard history lesson" cold open from Batgirl #15 on purpose, for example:

The reason she didn’t make the white-board history lesson for Wendy was simply that I didn’t feel it appropriate to poke fun at her. Steph has a smirky little good natured time editorializing the Bat family tree. To suddenly have a serious/tribute panel in the mix would have gotten in the way of the tone of the opening. Now, that’s from the writing standpoint. From a character standpoint, Steph drew for Wendy what she deemed to be the pertinent players on the Gotham board and their connections/histories, given her role as Proxy. You’ll note, she also didn’t mention her own role as Spoiler (though she just couldn’t RESIST drawing that adorable little Spoiler with the broken hearts over in the Tim/Robin section). -Bryan Q. Miller responding to a fan letter from Caitlin in 2010

It's certainly possible that the editorial edict surrounding Cass's presence in the book also impacted his decision to leave her out of the history lesson. We simply don't know. However, the above response is the only statement he's ever given on that issue and we've yet to hear anything to the contrary.

Outside of Batgirl, DC also went to considerable effort during this era to erase Cass's importance both as Batgirl and to the Batfamily more generally. From being basically excluded from every Bat book except Tim's globetrotting Red Robin book to descriptions like these:

Black Bat: one of several former (and temporary) Batgirls, the wonderful Cassandra Cain has adopted a new Batman Inc. identity as the Black Bat, operating out of Hong Kong. -Batman. Inc (HC Edition)

It was not a fun time to be a Cass fan.

Elsewhere, we know that Gail Simone was actively campaigning editorial to let her use Cass in a significant capacity in her relaunched Birds of Prey book. There was also a substantial rumor at the time that Cass would be taking the White Canary mantle from the villain Simone introduced in her opening arc (see this twitter thread for more on that). For varying reasons related to both DC's general treatment of Cass at the time and a hesitance to give Cass to Gail specifically (which I'll elaborate more on in a moment), neither of these things ever happened.

We also know that Scott Snyder loved Cass and tried to get DC to let him write a Cass story on multiple occasions–a struggle which continued throughout the early reboot years and eventually resulted in the creation of Harper Row, as I mentioned in the original write-up. He eventually managed to convince editorial to let him write Gates of Gotham, which co-starred Cass in a significant role for the first time since 2008 and ended on a good note...and also wound up being her final appearance in comics for nearly five years.

Other than Snyder and Fabian Nicieza (who wrote the majority of Cass's few Reborn-era appearances in Red Robin), critical darling and editorial favorite Grant Morrison was the only other writer who was allowed to handle Cass. They're the one who gave Cass the "Black Bat" codename in Batman Inc. #6 and supposedly wanted to do a Cass and Steph team-up later on in that book. Unfortunately, because of the impending New 52 reboot they were ultimately only allowed to use Steph in "Leviathan Strikes" (and even her ability to be Batgirl in that final appearance was up in the air for awhile, causing the book's artist make Spoiler!Steph sketches for the story just in case editorial nixed her appearance as Batgirl).

So going back to Gail Simone for a moment, why wasn't she allowed to write Cass in Birds of Prey? After all, she was one of the few female writers in the comic industry, and a successful, well-renowned one at that. She was writing a women-led book helmed by Barbara Gordon that had featured and guest-starred a wide variety of DC's female heroes over the years and was actively asking to use the character. Well, even besides the various editorial mandates sidelining Cass and keeping writers from using her, there was another problem.

Gail Simone's Proposed "Christian Conversion Arc": The year is 2006, we are still pre-Evil Cass arc, and Gail Simone has been asked by DC management to pitch what she would do with Dick and Cass if assigned either Nightwing or Batgirl to write. She never actually turned in a Nightwing pitch, though apparently she had pretty strong ideas, but she did turn in her Cass pitch. And what did Gail Simone come up with?

Cass saves a Christian minister from a robbery, discovers Christianity, and becomes a hardcore convert who quotes the Bible and talks scripture with gang members while wearing a white outfit and being called "Angel of the Bat" as she protects Gotham's homeless and marginalized residents. No, really. That was her pitch.

I can't even begin to explain how bonkers this idea is and how many problematic elements are baked into it both conceptually and in the inevitable execution had the pitch actually been greenlit. I could talk about how Gail presents a fundamental misunderstanding of Cassandra as a character throughout her description of the pitch. I could talk about how unsuited this kind of arc is for Cass more generally given her stories up to that point. I could talk about the racist history of Christian missionaries in Asia and the awful implications of Cass apparently needing to find God to look after Gotham's most vulnerable residents and be "genuinely happy for the first time." I could talk about how the Batfamily already had two sincerely devout Christian characters in Jean-Paul Valley and Helena Bertinelli and forcing that narrative onto Cass was doing nothing new or novel. I could talk about the problems with Gail, an atheist, deciding that this was an arc she felt qualified to write for any character (much less one like Cass).

Instead, I'll simply say that this failed pitch and Simone's consistently poor, exoticized handling of other Asian characters like Cheshire and Lady Shiva likely contributed to editorial's hesitance to hand her permission to write Cass during the Reborn era, and that I ultimately cut it from the Reddit write-up because I felt like including it would derail the post from talking about what happened to talking about "could have beens" (since this would have theoretically happened in place of the Evil Cass arc). It leaves Cassandra Cain as a truly good, kind person attempting to do good and save everyone she can rather than the racist caricature of a villain that we ultimately got; that's about the only good thing I can say about it.

......I'm sorry, everyone. I was going to do one final entry and talk about the Rebirth-era storytelling decisions and editorial edicts but I got to the end of this one and found I just couldn't do it anymore. I'm the embodiment of the Ben Affleck and Hayao Miyazaki smoking memes right now. I'm so tired, y'all. I'm so tired.

There's infinite amounts of racist, sexist, and ableist industry drama bullshit that I could cover related to DC's handling of the Batgirls and Cass more specifically and no write-up or additional posts will ever be able to sufficiently cover any of it with the depth, attention, and outrage it deserves. There's always more to talk about. There's always one more piece of awful bullshit to drag out of the shadows. There's always one more cut in the thousand fans have already talked about over the past twenty years. I could write a full-length book featuring several currently non-existent tell-all interviews with various creators and likely still not reach the bottom of the barrel. And the things that will likely never be public knowledge far outnumber the things we actually do know about DC's shitty treatment of Cass (and by extension Babs, Steph, and every other woman associated with the Batfamily).

And while things are better for Cass now than they were then, we're still far from any of the girls being treated well. Unfortunately, we still have a long way to go. One day, I hope this won't be the case.

#cassandra cain #barbara gordon #stephanie brown #batman #batfam #cassandra cain meta #barbara gordon meta #stephanie brown meta #dc comics #dc fanwank #long post #VERY long post #dc drama #dan didio #asks

348 notes · View notes

mcytshippystuff · 9 months

Note

Can I ask how you view Brunim and Forever's relationship since you mentioned it in your last post? You said you viewed it as toxic on both ends and that it messed Forever up, can you go into more detail?

(as always, /rp, not irl) Also go here for more hcs on q!Forever's relationships this ask is referencing!

Okay so!! Like I said before in that posts tags, I dont know a WHOLE lot about the canon relationship between q!Forever and... c!Brunim? q!Brunim? Whatever, I dont know the canon but from what iv seen, in rp its very much not healthy. So I ended up building my own hcs for them and idk how accurate they are canon wise but I still like em regardless so im sticking to em lol!

(Tw for talks of abuse, toxic relationships, and unhealthy relationships!)

So first thing to note; These guys were really fucked up, toxic, and probs abusive in several places. They started out softer, kinder, safer, but it did not stay that way. Still, know that they loved each other regardless.

In my head, Brunim was very much the aggressor, and the one who started being toxic, abusive, and obsessive about Forever, and was worse about it. Forever ended up becoming toxic and doing toxic/shitty/obsessive things in turn as a by product. I wont say Brunim was the only one who had issues and did bad things but Forever only ended up becoming like that becuase Brunim taught him that's how he showed love in their relationship, so he showed it that way back ya know?

But thing is they stopped being happy, stopped awhile ago in fact and realized they couldn't keep doing this to each other, hurting each other, for both their sakes. Its hard to recognize you are doing something wrong, and it was even harder to let go, for real this final time, and only through help did they manage it but they did.

But the thing is, Brunim was Forever's first real relationship, and it had messed him up. Untangling yourself from that sort of thing is fucking hard, knowing where the line is or where something is toxic and unhealthy romantic wise (or even in general) is even harder when its pretty much your only real frame of reference and unlearning all that shit is hard and takes time too.

So when Forever got to the island, while he's made leaps and bounds from where he use to be, enough he can mess around and even joke with someone who reminds him of Brunim without actually having issues with it (at least at first lol), is still in the process of trying to unlearn his more unhealthy behaviors and expectations.

That's where some of his more concerning phrases or claims come from, either not knowing the line as he crosses it due to skewed misconceptions, saying it jokingly becuase he'd never actually go through with it (though probs shouldn't of said it regardless but hey that's coping with trauma for ya), or knowing the line but crossing it anyways on impulse and having to pull back becuase he doesn't mean it/regrets it. He would never on purpose dip back into those toxic behaviors but like I said, still unlearning and understanding those.

Forever would never actually go through with anything toxic, abusive, or unhealthy for the most part on purpose btw, if that wasn't clear.

There is a little bit, like mentioned in the main post, where when he does start to catch feelings it is becuase of him confusing Brunim with Phil, but Forever does beginning to actually fall for him and it takes a bit to fully separate them, and his expectations of it all. But hell he cant stop loving Phil even if he does eventually see Phil will not change his mind about Forever loving him.

But anyhoo enough about the main thing, smaller but still important stuff-

Like I said Brunim was Forever's first real relationship, and they did actually love each other under all the shit it became. Didn't mean any of what happened was okay tho.

Brunim is a vampire, and fed off regularly of Forever. He didn't have issues with it at first but quickly became painful and a bad time.

(tw for scars and a bit of gore) Forever actually has a horrific scar on his neck from the feedings, though its hard to tell if it becuase Brunim would very slightly shift around where he would bite in to feed over time so it became a mass of scar tissue, or if he ripped out a chunk of Forever's flesh for whatever reason. Forever usually keeps it covered but it burns sometimes.

Brunim's way of punishing Forever was usually to lock him up until he behaved again, specially if they were on "break" and Brunim wanted Forever back. Hence why Forever uttered "lock you up until love me." He wasn't serious about it but later feels sick he said it even jokingly.

Forever is surprisingly mentally stable despite all this and has worked hard on his mental health, thanks to therapy. Most of his issues, like I said, come from trying to unlearn all that toxic shit and unhealthy behaviors.

They really miss each other but tbh its more they miss what they had before, as well as the comfort in the not being alone despite the pain. Regardless Forever will never go back to Brunim, even if they both change for the better.

31 notes · View notes

chemmerson · 1 year

Text

after work

bartender!nanami x fem!reader, modern au

so i found this wip from. awhile ago. and i thought I would post it just for fun. let me know what you think!

word count: 6.3k

warnings: unwanted advance from a stranger, reader feels panic

“And then she had the audacity to blame me for the mix-up! She is so bitchy.”

Propping your head up with your hand and twirling the ice around your empty glass, you listened to your coworker (and friend) go on and on and on about the work day. You were used to it, of course, because that’s how every Thursday was. When you two had decided to start ending the work week at the nearby bar to destress and rant about your job, you were relieved that you would be able to talk about all the bullshit that transpired throughout the week.

However, your friend was more than happy to take over the conversation herself, so every Thursday, you had to listen to her tell you everything that was on her mind.

Now, you couldn’t blame her. You knew exactly how she felt and all the frustrations she experienced. You were in the boat. There was absolutely nothing she complained about that you didn’t understand or had the same to say yourself.

But after about two drinks, your friend was always ready to dump all of her thoughts out for the entire bar to hear, and you couldn’t get one word in about your own work frustrations.

It wasn’t like it was the biggest deal in the world. You had been told you were a great listener before so you were happy to at least be someone your friend felt like they could talk to. And you knew better than anyone what she was going through.

So every Thursday, you downed some Moscow mules and prepared yourself for the next few hours.

“So then I go up to Kai who I thought was going to be helpful, and I start telling him what that bitch did during the whole spreadsheet debacle. Turns out they’re fucking dating. So that was fucking embarrassing.”

You actually had known that last week when you saw him sneak a kiss on her cheek in the break room. But you just hummed with a nod and kept listening.

“So now I’m like, I can’t trust anyone in this fucking office anymore. Well, except you of course,” she smiled. You shot her a small smile back.

“Anyway, the whole thing was a shit show and I fixed the spreadsheets anyway. Which made me even more pissed since I wasn’t even the one to mess them up…”

Your eyes flicked down to your glass where you were twirling the ice around with your straw thoughtlessly.

“Can I get you both anything?”

You glanced up at the bartender who was leaning on the bar top. Before you could answer, your friend beat you to it.

“Yes, another long island for the love of god,” she said dramatically, finishing with a bat of her eyelashes at the man. You didn’t blame her, though. The bartender that worked on Thursday nights was quite the dreamboat.

He nodded at your friend, then flipped his eyes to you. You smiled and gave him a “sure”. Then, you turned back to your friend to continue listening.

“And I know the whole incident shouldn’t bother me that much, you know? Like it really wouldn’t bother me except the fact that she got the promotion last quarter really sent me over the edge…”

Another Moscow mule was placed in front of you, and you gave the bartender a voiceless thank you while your friend grabbed her long island, continuing her story.

“…so I feel like she’s just been out to get me this whole time! And I’m getting really sick and tired of it. Because did I tell you about the other day in the break room? God, it was really something else…”

You were suddenly distracted by the atmosphere of the bar itself. It was never super crowded around this time on Thursdays, but today was especially quiet. Only a few people scattered here and there, the music loud and echoey as there weren’t any voices to muffle it. Well, except your friend.

Oh, how lovely it would be tomorrow to work from home. Fridays were always “work from home”, a nice break from the hectic office. You always made sure to work ahead during the week so that you could be done early on Fridays. The warm bath, a glass of wine, and cuddly pajamas were so close, yet so far. God, you could hardly wait for the moment you would close your laptop and head to the bathroom, turning on your favorite music and—

“Go ahead and close my tab, please.”

Your friend’s voice broke you out of your running thoughts, and then you watched her as she gathered her coat and purse. She smiled at you, unaware that you had just been completely spacing out and—

“I love these little dates we have,” she grabbed your arm affectionately. “It really is a weight off my chest. Well, anyway, are you going to stay longer?”

She was leaving, you realized, but you had barely touched your Moscow mule. You also needed just a moment to process your day as well, so you nodded. “Yeah, I’m going to stay a bit longer.”

She smiled at you and squeezed your arm. “Okay, get home safe! See you Monday!”

And then she was walking away, and you waved her goodbye.

A much needed sigh fell out of your lips as you turned back to your drink. You loved being the listening ear your friend needed, but some silence to yourself was always nice too.

You just sat with your thoughts for a bit, staring at the grooved bar top wood and bringing your drink up to your lips every so often. Running your fingernail through the grooves of the wood, you began to space out and enjoy the momentary silence.

“Are you alright?”

The surprising, deep voice made you jump slightly, and you flipped your head up to the presence in front of you. It was the handsome bartender, scanning you over with little emotion. He leaned his arms on the edge of the table, rolled up sleeves exposing his forearms. His blonde hair was combed back neatly, and he had rather lovely brown eyes. You made sure not to stare too long.

“Oh, yes I’m alright!” You laughed dryly, looking down at the table. “Just…lost in thought… processing, I guess…”

You probably sounded so awkward, but the bartender had never sparked a conversation before. Scratch that. It wasn’t even a conversation. He was just making sure you weren’t about to pass out at his bar.

Your eyes flipped back up to his, and he kept a deadpan look. “Your friend talks a lot.”

You should’ve been taken aback by his rather blunt comment, but you couldn’t help but actually laugh this time. The bartender picked up a whiskey glass and a towel and started polishing it.

“Um,” you started. “Yeah. She’s great but…she always has a lot to say. I don’t mind it, though.”

You took a sip of your drink that was nearing the end. You usually never went for a third, and you were starting to feel its effects quite quickly.

The bartender just continued to polish the glasses in front of him. “Surprising.”

“How come?” You questioned.

“That you can deal with that every Thursday.”

You opened your mouth, surprised again by the man’s boldness but no words came out. You had no idea what to say, and you just stared at him for a moment.

“You know we come here every Thursday?” was what came out of your mouth eventually.

“Well, not many people are in here at four o’clock on a Thursday,” he said. “And you pair are the only ones who bother to sit at the bar.”

You never noticed it before, but thinking back, you realized that he was right. The bar was always pretty empty when you guys showed up. It was only when you were leaving did it start to get crowded. So it would make sense that the main bartender noticed when the same people came in on the same day every week.

“Right,” you said, looking down into your glass. “I guess I never really noticed. But I did notice you work every Thursday.”

Which was true, but as soon as the words came out of your mouth, you panicked, realizing how the statement sounded. Quickly, you looked up and waved your hand dismissively. “Not that I was looking at you or anything!”

The man paused his cleaning and flipped his eyes to you.

Panicking even more and the influence of alcohol making you too scatterbrained, you waved your hand even more. “Uh, n-not that I wouldn’t want to look at you! I definitely would—“

The man quirked his eyebrow again, and you were a lost cause.

“No!” You stammered. “I…I’m not saying that I would look at you. I mean, I’m looking at you right now but…I just meant I don’t, like, stare at you or anything. I just noticed that…you work…every Thursday…”

You trailed off, heat from embarrassment lighting your body on fire, and you rested your forehead on the palm of your hand with a sigh.

“I’m sorry,” you closed your eyes, hoping the ground would swallow you whole. “I—“

But you were cut off with a chuckle, and you peeked out of your fingers to look at him. He looked amused, setting down the glass and towel and leaning his arms on the bar top again.

“So you do have a lot to say, then,” he joked with a soft smirk.

You blushed even more, but this time from the smile that he was giving you. He really was a dreamboat.

“Um,” you mumbled. “Sometimes, I suppose.”

Just then, a laughing couple walked up to the bar and started sitting down. The bartender glanced at them, starting to move but he glanced back at you, a look in his eye that confused you. He shouldn’t feel like he had to keep talking to you.

“You can close my tab,” you smiled at him, pushing your glass slightly forward. “Thanks.”

You didn’t wait for him to say anything, just hopped off the stool and started putting your coat and mittens on. You heard him start to talk to the couple to get their orders. You just grabbed your purse and you were off.

But holy shit what was in those Moscow mules?

Okay, three was definitely your limit. No more than that from now on for sure. As you tipsily made your way to the door, you made sure to be careful that you walked up the two small steps with grace and concentration. Otherwise, if you tripped, everyone would surely see since there were only, what, five people in the entire place—

Your toe caught on the top step and you were about to catch yourself on the railing when…

“Ah—“

“Careful, there.”

A strong hand grabbed your elbow, steadying you and keeping you from falling flat on your face. Turning around to face your embarrassment, the bartender looked at you with amused eyes.

He pulled you up straight. “Are you okay?”

“Uh,” an embarrassed laugh escaped. “Yeah, I’m okay. Sorry.”

He nodded and let go of your elbow. “I came over to ask if you have a safe ride home.”

Eyebrows shooting up in surprise and panic, you waved your hand back and forth. “O-Oh! Yes, yes I’m all good. I’m going to take a cab.”

“You’re going to wait outside in this cold?” He asked, almost surprised.

Nervousness taking over and quick to reassure him, you smiled. “Yes! See, I have my mittens.”

Before you could stop yourself, you shoved your gloved hands in his face. He didn’t flinch at the action, but something flashed in his eyes.

“How about I call you a cab?” He suggested, taking your hands and moving them down away from his face. “They’re used to coming here, and that way you don’t have to wait in the cold.”

“Oh,” you said, pulling your hands to your side. “Um, you don’t have to. It’s not that cold.”

The bartender started to turn around despite your protest. “Call it a thank you for being a loyal customer.”

He gave you one last look before heading back towards the bar, and you were left shocked.

This guy is really nice, you thought. And extremely handsome—no, no don’t fall for your local bartender. You’re not that desperate.

Desperate was probably not the right word to describe it. Inexperienced and single for life were better terms, but it was rare these days that you found yourself so interested in a man. At this point in your life, when you still have never had a boyfriend or even a date in years, you felt like you had given up looking for a man. Because obviously none of them had been interested in you. So even though the bartender at first glance seemed nice, you could not let yourself daydream and get too attached to an idea that would never happen.

Though as you rode home in the cab, got home, and even as you were falling asleep, his brown eyes and small smile would not get out of your head.

———

Next Thursday, your friend had invited some other co-workers from the office to join in on your de-stress time. Word got around the office fast, and by eight o’ clock, what felt like the entire staff was at the bar.

The bar was crowded with others as well, and the normally quiet bar you thought you knew was filled with loud people and loud music. You sat squished in between your friend and another co-worker, sipping on your Moscow mule and listening to the various conversations that were happening around you.

You didn’t find yourself really going out much lately besides Thursday after work, and this was the first time in a while you were experiencing the nightlife at the bar. Your friend had actually convinced you to wear a proper “night out” outfit too, claiming you needed to let loose. After a few drinks, you were feeling a bit more comfortable in your slightly tighter and more revealing than usual clothing choices.

But you couldn’t say you were focused too much on what was happening at the table. For about the hundredth time that night, your eyes made their way over to the bar where he was, staying busy with the influx of people. His sleeves were pushed up like always, exposing his flexed forearms whenever he shook the cocktail shaker back and forth. He was so focused and sharp, and you would have never expected him to be so mesmerizing from far away.

“Hey, you good?” Your friend nudged you with a smile.

You had been spacing out. “Oh, yeah. I’m good.”

She leaned in with a mischievous smile. “By the way, you look super hot. I’ve seen Hiro look over at you a couple of times—“

“Shut up,” you cut her off with a harsh whisper. “No, he has not. Plus, I’m definitely not interested in Hiro. I can’t date someone who never remembers to zip his fly after he comes out of the bathroom.”

Your friend erupted in loud cackles and then looked down at the table. “Oh, looks like we both need another drink!”

“I got it,” said one of your co-workers who sat across the table. “I need another beer. Anyone else?”

Your friend asked for another drink, and he left to go to the bar. You watched him carefully as he stood and waited for the bartender to walk up. The bartender with lovely eyes and gorgeous everything else.

Stop it, you scolded yourself. Stop staring at him. He’s going to notice sooner or later.

You just sighed out and leaned your cheek on your hand. No matter how many times you told yourself to stop daydreaming about him, you couldn’t. That was just like you. Living out everything in your head and never in reality.

Suddenly, you felt a pair of eyes on you.

You stayed still but glanced over at the bar. The bartender’s brown-eyed gaze was staring at you, and your heart dropped into your stomach. Your co-worker was talking to him and getting the drinks, but his eyes stayed locked with yours. A sudden heat filled your cheeks and before you could glance away, the bartender nodded at your co-worker and walked away.

A breath you didn’t know you were holding released shakily from your nose. He had seen you. He was definitely looking at you. Right? No, no way. He was not looking at you. But wasn’t he? Who else would he have been looking at? Someone behind you? No, there was a wall behind you. Maybe he was looking at the wall very intentionally and intensely.

Because there was no way he could’ve been looking at you.

But you felt them once again. His eyes from across the entire bar were like he was drawing you to look at him. Heart fluttering rapidly in your chest, you glanced over again.

Your co-worker was making his way back, trying to balance three drinks in his hand, but your eyes were on him. And his eyes were on you, that intensity from before but something else too. You couldn’t place it because no one had ever looked at you like that. But through the dim lighting, through all the people, over the heads of those that sat at the bar, he was looking right at you.

Your co-worker was at the table then, standing in front of you and putting down the drinks, thus blocking your view of the bartender. Thankfully, this got you out of your head and back into reality, giving your co-worker a smile as you slid the drink towards you.

Though looking down into the drink, something caught your eye. Two limes.

Normally, there was only one lime in the Moscow mule. As you looked down at your drink still, you felt his eyes again.

“Hey, is something wrong with the drink? You did want a Moscow mule, right?” Your co-worker said across from you as he sat down.

You looked up at him with a quick smile. “No, it’s perfect. Thank you.”

He gave you a smile back before turning to whatever conversation was happening. You turned your eyes to the bar.

The bartender wasn’t looking at you, talking to somebody ordering a drink. But that quickly changed when you saw his eyes dart over to you for just a second, that look still making you feel flush and dizzy.

You brought the drink to your lips and took a sip. He watched you as you did, and even in the dark, you saw his eyes flash with something. But he looked away to give his attention to the busy bar.

You could so easily pass out where you were sitting.

He was…flirting with you. Maybe. Possibly?

You had no idea. All you knew was that he was most definitely looking at you and it was not helping you get over this growing semi-crush you had on him. Was really one conversation and a few glances across the bar really all it took for you to be drawn to him?

But he was looking at you, initiating the eye contact. Did that mean he was drawn to you, too?

“Hey, can you come to the bathroom with me?” Your friend leaned into your ear to talk over the loud music and chattering.

You nodded, and then she was grabbing your hand and leading you out of the mess of people when you realized the hallway to the restrooms was right next to the bar top.

He would definitely see you. Hell, he could be seeing you right now as your friend dragged you through the mess of people. Your heart was pounding loudly in your ears and you were so nervous you didn’t even glance or check to see if he might have been looking at you.

As you walked through the hallway to the restrooms, you noticed the entrance to behind the bar top also opened into the hallway, but you didn’t dare look through.

The restroom was a typical bar restroom, extremely small and cramped, and you and your friend had to wait in a small line. It gave you some time to calm down, to listen to your friend’s tipsy chatter and get away from the intensity of the bar. To calm your fast heart rate and to cool your flushed cheeks. Though that was partly because of the alcohol and definitely not because of your crush.

As you were washing your hands, the bathroom was filled with tipsy, loud chatter and lots of people, so you decided to leave to minimize the crowded area. You squeezed through people and opened the door, but just then you ran into someone walking out of the men’s restroom.

With an oof, you quickly stuttered an apology and tried to move out of the way, but the person moved with you.

Surprised, you looked up at the person through the dark to mutter another apology, but the stranger was smiling down at you.

“I’ve never seen you here before,” he started slurring. “What’s your name?”

Your stomach immediately felt hollow and it became hard to breathe. Where was your friend? You felt frozen, eyes darting around in a panic but he was blocking the entire hallway.

“Aw, don’t be shy,” the stranger took a step towards you. “Just tell me your name.”

Your only escape was the bathroom, so you turned around quickly to dart inside but the man was quick to move you against the wall. Feeling suddenly suffocated and frozen in fear, your voice failed to work.

His hand began to close in on you, making you step back hurriedly but the wall was in the way. “Ah—“

Another arm darted out in front of you, catching the wrist of the stranger. You recognized the arm. Toned forearms, white sleeves pushed up to the elbows. The bartender.

“Beat it,” his low voice growled at the stranger, and the stranger was gone as quickly as he came.

You let out a tense breath, feeling dizzy from the aftermath of the panic. Hell, you were feeling dizzy from so many things. The alcohol, your nervousness, your panic, your strange feelings for the bartender that was currently ducking down to meet your gaze.

“Hey, hey,” his voice floated under the loudness of the bar. “Are you okay?”

You met his concerned brown eyes despite your current frozen state, and you opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

Eyes growing more concerned, the bartender gently placed his hand over your upper arm, causing you to feel more present. The loudness of the bar seemed to fade, and he became the only thing you were focused on.

“Did he touch you?” He asked, eyes darting all around your face. “Did he hurt you?”

His words registered this time, and you quickly shook your head. “No,” you said quietly, almost in a whisper.

You heard him sigh quietly out of his nose, and his hand left your arm. “Where’s your friend?”

“I…don’t know,” the words came out shaky, and you felt slightly embarrassed. You didn’t want to cause anyone worry. The bartender had put an immediate stop to it. Yet apparently, you were still shaken up.

“I need to…” you put a shaky hand up to your forehead and swallowed thickly. “I need—“

The bartender put his hand back up to your upper arm and his other one went to your elbow, ducking down further to meet your wandering, panicky eyes.

“Hey,” he said. “You’re safe now.”

You looked into his eyes, truly this time. They were so serious and honest, and his hold on you made you feel safe. Calmer. Still holding eye contact, you took a deep breath in and out.

“I’m sorry,” you said reflexively. “I didn’t mean to—“

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” the bartender interrupted you. “Nothing at all.”

Your heart swelled with gratitude, allowing another breath to escape you. “Thank you, really, thank you so much…um…”

“Nanami,” he said. “Kento Nanami.”

A small smile shaped your lips. “Thank you, Nanami.”

Just then, the bathroom door opened. “Oh—hey, what’s going on?”

Your friend had finally made her way out of the bathroom, moving to stand in front of her and pushing the bartender to the side. “Are you okay? What’s going on?”

You must have looked shaken up. “I’m okay,” you reassured her, the shakiness of your voice slowly disappearing. “I just—“

You both realized that Nanami had walked away just then, and you both watched as he made his way into the main part of the place where people were drinking and eating. You immediately eyed the man who had tried to make a move on you, laughing and chatting with his table and friends.

The way Nanami stalked over there would have left anyone quaking in their shoes. You started to walk after him, not wanting to cause any trouble and your friend followed. Both of you stopped at the end of the hallway as you watched Nanami grab the man by his collar and bring him up to stand at his feet.

“I thought I told you to beat it,” Nanami said, and even under the loud noise of the bar, you could tell his tone was intimidating as hell.

“H-Hey man, I thought we were cool,” the man stuttered, eyes wide in fear. “I didn’t mean to—“

“I told you to beat it,” Nanami said again, shoving the man backward and making him stumble. “That means get the hell out of my bar.”

His bar?

The man didn’t waste any time grabbing his jacket and stumbling to the exit. Nanami gave all of the man’s friends one look, and they soon stumbled after him, leaving the bar as well. The altercation had caught some people’s attention, but they quickly turned back to their conversations and meals.

“Did that sleazy guy try something with you?” Your friend said with wide eyes as she turned to you.

“Um…yeah. Outside of the bathroom,” you explained. “He was drunk.”

“Oh my god,” your friend breathed out. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t—“

“No, it’s okay,” you smiled, though you still felt slightly shaky. “Nanami—uh, the bartender handled it. I’m okay. But I think…I’m just gonna head home.”

Your friend nodded hurriedly. “Of course. Do you want me to go get your stuff? So you don’t have to explain it to everyone…”

Her thoughtfulness made you grateful as well. “Yeah, that would be good. Thank you.”

She smiled and quickly headed to where your co-workers were sitting towards the edge of the bar. Heading towards you was Nanami, and you felt nervous facing him. You had no idea how to even begin to express your gratitude.

He approached you where you stood in front of the hallway, running a hand through his blonde hair. “I’m sorry for causing a scene like that, but I don’t tolerate anything like that in my bar.”

You nodded. “It’s okay, really. I just…I really don’t know how grateful I am that you were there. Thank you…so, so much. I appreciate it so much.”

Nanami looked down at you with those serious eyes, giving you a nod. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

You nodded again. “Yeah, but I think I’m just going to head home.”

“Let me call you a cab,” Nanami said while walking past you, but not without placing his hand on the small of your back while he did. The tender action made you feel safe again.

He stood in the entrance to behind the bar top, pulling a rather dated landline off the wall and punching in a number. You stood awkwardly as people walked around you to go in and out of the bathrooms, so you decided to go stand next to Nanami while he called.

He eyed you as you nervously walked up next to him to stand in the entranceway, but you averted your eyes. You kept looking out for your friend.

“Hey, it’s Juju’s…yeah, it’s Kento…hello, Kiyo…yeah, can I—yes I’m fine…”

“Psst.”

The sudden voice behind you startled you, and you bumped into Nanami’s side as you turned around to see who had just spoken.

A man with white hair and interesting sunglasses sitting on the bridge of his nose you guessed was a bartender that was working leaned down and looked at you with a striking smile. You pressed further into Nanami’s side.

“Hey,” the man whispered. “Be honest, are you the chick that he’s been going on about—“

The slam of the phone on the wall startled you both, and Nanami’s sharp eyes were glaring down at the white-haired man.

“Get back to work, Gojo,” Nanami gritted through his teeth, obviously annoyed.

The man giggled and went back to making drinks, and Nanami sighed. His annoyance towards his co-worker was quite amusing, but you made sure to hide your small smile.

“The cab is on the way,” Nanami said to you.

“Thank you, really,” you said again. “Thank you so much.”

You were extremely grateful for him and his kindness, but you were so ready to go home. Nothing like that had ever happened to you, and while Nanami had swooped in to save the day, you were still having a hard time processing it all.

Just then, your friend came through the hallway and spotted you. She had your coat and purse in her arms. “Here you go. Everyone was asking what happened but I just told them that you weren’t feeling well.”

Grabbing your things from her, you smiled. “Thank you. I really appreciate it.”

She gave you a smile before going in for a hug. “Take care of yourself, okay? See you Monday.”

You waved her goodbye as she went back into the bar, and then you were standing alone with Nanami once again.

“Here,” he said, and you looked to see him gesturing toward your purse.

“Oh, thanks,” you said, handing it to him to put your coat on.

But when you went to turn around to put it on, Nanami grabbed one of the sleeves and lifted it up to help you get it on easier. The sweet action made you feel flush again, and you turned around to get your purse.

“Aren’t you forgetting your mittens?” Nanami asked deadpan while handing you your purse.

You blinked at him, then burst out laughing. His comment was just what you needed to finally fully relax and break the tension you felt inside. Still laughing, you reached into your pockets and pulled your mittens. “Right here. Thanks for reminding me.”

His brown eyes glittered, but he stayed straight-faced. “I’ll go wait outside with you.”

Before you could protest, Nanami put his hand on the small of your back again and started leading you out of the loud bar. He kept you close, making sure to lead you safely through all of the people, and you made sure to keep close, too.

As he opened the door for you and the cold outside air breezed in, you turned to him while walking out. “Hey, aren’t you working right now?”

“Gojo can handle it,” he said, stopping next to the wall, and you followed. “And I can leave at whatever time I want.”

He paused for a moment before continuing. “Since I’m the owner.”

Your mouth parted slightly in surprise at his words, but Nanami continued again. “And, there should be some more people coming in for their shift soon.”

“I didn’t know you owned the bar,” You stated with interest, breath visible in the cold air as you spoke.

Nanami crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the brick wall, looking straight ahead. “Co-own. With Gojo.”

You had no idea that he was the owner of the bar along with that white-haired guy that had spoken to you. Not knowing what to say and still in slight shock from the new information, you just said, “It’s a really nice bar.”

Nanami laughed through his nose. “Thank you. I would hope you think so, at least. Since you are here every week.”

You smiled and put your hands in your pockets. “Well, you do make the best Moscow mules I’ve ever had.”

Nanami looked down at you at your words, and the look in his eyes made your heart flutter again.

But his forearms that he had crossed over his chest caught your eyes, goosebumps lining them. You gasped, taking a step towards him. “Where is your coat?”

He looked at you, confused for a moment before shrugging. “I’m fine.”

Before you could stop yourself, you grabbed his arms and uncrossed them. You reached for his hands and pressed them together, holding them in between your gloved hands.

“You’re going to catch cold,” you said, staring at his hands in yours.

The reality of what you had just done hit you like a brick. Why in the hell would you grab him like that? Why the hell were you currently holding his hands? The boldness of your actions was so, so unlike you and all you could do was just stare at his hands in between your soft, pink mittens.

Nanami didn’t say anything either. You two stood in silence, the sound of people walking on the sidewalk and traffic zooming by filling the air. But your eyes stayed locked, frozen in a moment of something like intimacy.

“What’s your name?” Nanami blurted out.

It was only now you realized he didn’t even know your name. You told him, and his eyes lit up for a second before breaking eye contact and looking out over your head. “Good to know.”

You smiled then and looked down so he couldn’t see. You felt like you smiled way too much around him.

(Though little did you know, he had glanced down at you, saw the sweet smile on your face, and had to stop his smile, too.)

“Um,” you spoke up, looking at him once again. “Did you always want to own a bar?”

“No,” Nanami said with a straight face. “I was talked into it.”

Confused by his statement, you stared at him to continue. “After I graduated from college, my classmate Gojo, who you saw, convinced me to take on the endeavor with him. So we opened the bar right here and the rest is history.”

A playful grin made it’s way to your face. “So, I guess you owe Gojo your success then?”

Nanami stayed stoic. “I suppose. But I would never say that to him. I would hate to see his ego inflate even more.”

You laughed and nodded in understanding. “I see.”

The sound of a cab slowly pulling up to the curb made both you and Nanami turn.

“There’s Kiyo,” Nanami mumbled, and you let go of his hands and let yours fall to your side.

The window of the cab pulled down and a man leaned over. “Hey there Mr. Nanami!”

Glancing up at Nanami, you let him lead you to the cab with his hand returning to the small of your back again. You noticed the kind-looking cab driver who seemed to know Nanami well.

“How’s the evening going, Mr. Nanami? Busy tonight?” Kiyo peered through the window at Nanami.

Nanami grabbed the handle of the cab door. “Get her home safe, Kiyo.

Nanami opened the door and you started to make your way in, but you felt an urgency once more. Like you couldn’t just leave him. Not yet.

Nanami’s arm rested on the top of the cab door, but you quickly turned around and opened your mouth to speak, the proximity rather close as you began.

“Nanami, thank you again,” your heart was beating in your ears. “You’re very kind.”

The proximity was a lot closer than you had anticipated, but you just stood there, staring into those brown eyes that you knew you wouldn’t stop thinking about all night. Nanami was staring right back at you too, eyebrows slightly raised.

Then he opened his mouth, closed it, and tore his eyes away. “Of course. Any time.”

Was it just the trick of the streetlights, or was Nanami…blushing?

You felt your cheeks warm too, and then you smiled. “Um, o-okay. Well, have a good night.”

Nanami only met your eyes for a second. “You too. Get home safe.”

You finally ducked under the door frame and settled in the back of the cab. Getting on your seatbelt, Nanami gave you one last look and one last small smile as he shut the door. Then, he poked his head in the passenger window.

“I mean it, Kiyo. Get her home safe.”

“Roger that, Mr. Nanami!”

Then, the cab rolled away, and you had to fight back from turning around in your seat to take one last look at Nanami. Instead, you leaned your head on the window, trying to calm your heart and the feeling in your stomach.

“Are you and Mr. Nanami friends or something?”

The cab driver was asking you a question. Friends? “Uh, no, not really. He just…makes sure I have a ride home sometimes.”

Kiyo made a face you could see in the rearview mirror. “Huh. Funny.”

“What’s funny?” You decided to inquire.

Kiyo laughed lightly. “Oh, nothing. It’s just Mr. Nanami isn’t usually so…concerned about his customers. He must really like you. Anyway, what’s the destination?”

He must really like you. Whatever that meant, it made your heart flutter. You gave Kiyo the directions and leaned your head back on the window, watching the downtown go by.

The feeling of him never left you the entire night.

#nanami x reader #nanami fluff #i…may delete this if i get embarrassed LOL #my work

109 notes · View notes

a-little-lostecho · 1 year

Text

RENOUCED.

(click on photo for better image quality)

“Mon dieu… Merci de tout coeur you beautiful beast… You saved my life…”

Once a dragon hunter. Now, a respectable dragon rider on the outpost. Or… as respectable as Rook can be, at least. More of an oddball, even amongst his other dragon rider peers. He’s a rider with an innate fascination for all kinds of dragons, and spends much of his time studying them in depth.

HTTYD TWST AU - ROOK (pre-outpost) done !

This piece i actually finished awhile ago, just never got around to posting but im SUPER proud of it. It’s definitely not like the best photo in the world or anything but its one of my best and i think it’s gorgeous so :>

and now, second verse same as the first, more extra thoughts :

• Before becoming a rider, Rook Hunt was a dragon hunter. An incredibly skilled one at that because he did what many others tended not to do with dragons. He observed them. Watched them closely, learned their ins and outs and then used them to hunt. It’s a past he acknowledges was a part of him, but isn’t one he talks about often.

• But he’s always found dragons absolutely fascinating creatures, and has always respected them as admirable foe. He killed what was necessary, and spent the rest of his time merely watching them though of course it’s not much excuse. If it ever came down to it to protect the outpost and those he cared about, Rook knows he could kill one again, even if it would make the others at their home upset.

• The reason he renounced his ways was thanks to his now partner dragon: Bête des Arbres or merely Treecutter for those less inclined to use Rook’s nicknames. (Rook refers to each dragon calling them Bête de BLANK - which means beast of trees in Treecutter’s case - a similar way he calls the Housewardens or Outpost leaders Roi de ____. Beast for him is used much more endearingly but a few other outposts inhabitants have expressed minimal discomfort with him calling them such.)

• Treecutter had saved Rook from the brink of death when the hunter had encountered a rather nasty pack of speed stingers intent on turning the hunter into the hunted. He’d been injured semi severely during the chase. But in that very moment, when Treecutter had lowered their head for him, Rook vowed to renounce his hunting ways.

• After that, he soon met Leona! Who immediately disliked Rooks executrices and used the next easiest excuse (Vil, who’d joined their party a little after) and pawned the Ex-Hunter off on the runaway noble. Then Vil gave Rook a makeover and the rest is history!

• (And warning mild SPOILERS for ENG players but ^ is the reason Rook is in his first year attire in the photo and might be a little less recognizable,,, )

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst wonderland #my art #fanart #twst fanart #twisted wonderland fanart #twst art #disney twisted wonderland #twst httyd au #httyd #twst au #rook hunt #twst rook #twisted wonderland rook #rook hunt fanart #digital art #httyd au #twst spoilers

75 notes · View notes

neodiji · 11 months

Text

Life Update

SO. Hi.

I am alive. I am in a better spot than the last time I posted, around two years ago. It was really dark for awhile there but I think I needed to take time and work on myself. I have a fabulous therapist now that has actually been helping me grow and tackle life, and I feel in some ways like a different person after navigating these past couple years. I am still prone to the major depressive spells, panic attacks, and crippling anxiety, but I am learning that even though mental health problems will probably always be a part of my life, they don't define me. I can do hard things, and I can accomplish goals even with those challenges. Sometimes, especially in those really bottom-of-the-pit days like a couple years ago, I just didn't see a path forward so I didn't know what steps to even try to take. Now I'm taking steps. They might not be the right steps, but trying is doing.

I truly appreciate all the support and outreach of love. I am also sorry for worrying people, considering the way I left things. I didn't handle my feelings and needs in a mature way. I definitely needed that break, but I should have just communicated that I needed a break. At the time, I really didn't think I could make it, but that's no one else's problem. It was and is for me to own.

I have not been active in fandom for the past couple years, but lately I have been indulging in some SuzaLulu daydreams. I'm also rediscovering my love of writing.

Highlights:

-I survived an entire year teaching at a horrific private school. When they hired me, they verbally told me that they were starting a new program and needed a teacher. They would provide the resources and guidance. It turned out that they gave me a classroom with a few blocks, and two days before the kids come, they told me that it was up to me to fund the entire new program out-of-pocket. I should have quit then and there, but I didn't know how to assert myself or set boundaries. I was also paid pennies. So because I had given them my word and signed the contract for the job, I funded everything out of pocket. I let them take advantage of me. I literally paid to work instead of the other way around. Every day was a nightmare, trying to spend all day with my class of kids and then come home and figure out what to even DO with them the following day, buy or create the resources to actually implement those learning activities (thank goodness for Teachers Pay Teachers), rinse and repeat. Admin always promised to reimburse me, and kept canceling my requested meetings to address these issues. Spoiler alert: they never did pay me back for all the things I bought to get that classroom and program up and running. So, you know...I can look back on this experience and say I was screwed, but alternatively:

I got to practice getting stronger in asserting myself and communicating. I learned how to get things in writing for future jobs so this never happened again. I gained experience working in a different kind of school setting. I met a lot of nice people, such as the other teachers and the families of the kids in my class. I also learned that I could not only survive, but do really good things in bad circumstances. I helped my kids learn and grow, and all but one of them were reading above grade level by the time they left me. So I took a classroom with nothing and I fucking rocked it.

Better yet, BECAUSE I had that major accomplishment under my belt, I was able to find a much, much, MUCH better teaching job in the public schools this past year (in a good school district). I have never before worked at a school I loved. I have never before worked for admin who actually care about teachers and students. I have never before met other teachers who genuinely love kids and want to do right by them. I found my place. I found my people. It makes all the difference.

This past year was hard because I was yet again learning a new grade level. Starting over in a new grade can feel like switching to an entirely new field. The standards of learning are different, the resources are different, the kids' social-emotional needs and maturity are different... So there's always a steep learning curve. But this past year? It was hard and draining and time-consuming but I loved. every. second. I couldn't wait to get back to my class and pick up where we'd left off the day before.

I also learned that I need to be helping kids learn and grow to feel fulfilled inside. When that's missing, when I don't have that built into my life, I feel like something vital is missing. I especially thrive with teaching reading. Again, all but one of my students was reading on or above grade level by the end of the year. More important, they LOVED reading. The one who was reading below grade level made significant personal progress, and he was very close to meeting benchmark. I'm on the right track now to one day be a reading specialist, which was my original dream job. My life is opening up again. It only took several years!

I also learned it is very very likely that I have high-functioning Autism, which would explain why communication, relationships, and social cues are such a personal struggle. (Along with hyperfixations, sensory processing disorders, etc.) Paying for yet additional testing for an official diagnosis is not in my current budget, but it does make sense when I reflect on the trends of my life. So I am learning more about myself and how I fit into the world, instead of just knowing deep inside that I feel different and thus feeling despair to the point of giving up because life feels like an insurmountable struggle sometimes.

So yeah. Maybe I need help with things because my way of interacting with the world is atypical, but even so...I still have a lot of things to be proud of about myself. I may struggle with peer communication, but I am an awesome teacher. I might need basic socialization explained to me, but I tend to be kind, helpful, and encouraging when I do have two-way interaction with people. There are worse things to be.

I also have grown a lot as a writer over the years. I have not had time to indulge in hobbies the past couple of years, due to every "free" moment being spent trying to prepare for the next school day, but when I think about what would make me happy? For me? It keeps coming back to writing. But now it has to change. To keep it fun, I can't put the pressure of perfectionism on myself. I'm not getting paid to write fanfic. It doesn't need to be perfect. I think readers are going to be okay if I end up making mistakes. If readers do take issue, then you know what? That's their problem. They can stay out of my work. That's their choice. But honestly, the majority of people I've interacted with online have tended to be lovely and encouraging anyway, so... I probably don't need to worry about the what-if anxieties that continuously pop up in that regard.

TLDR;

-I am an amazing teacher and it helped me find myself.

-I probably have Autism, which would explain a lot.

-I can cope and I can do hard things, even with challenges.

-I miss writing.

Goals:

-Learn and practice setting appropriate boundaries.

-Increase financial literacy. Teachers get paid shit. I need to stretch my money more effectively. (And stop spending my own money on flexible seating...)

-Spend more time on self-care, including writing, friendships, and playing with my cat Nimbus.

-Sleep.

-Read those 4 professional development books.

-Reply to fandom people who have commented or otherwise communicated over the past couple years when I've been MIA.

#Personal #Life Update

20 notes · View notes

starlight-vixen-emiko · 1 month

Text

Spirit Train Adventure

ao3 ff.net

Phew! It's been awhile since I written for Legend of Zelda. And this probably sucks because I legit haven't played Spirit Tracks in years, so I apologize if this sucks. Also, I written ZeLink for the first time! Yay me! Spirit Tracks ZeLink is actually really cute!

But, the reason I decided to try my hand writing Legend of Zelda again is because April Fools Day on the Zelda Universe forums turned Zelda Universe into Train Universe...And I suddenly got the idea to write a post game Spirit Tracks fanfic.

Also it's a great time for me to thank the Zelda Universe forums for providing such a positive environment where I always felt safe. I owe you guys.

Spirit Tracks is an underrated game! Anyway, I hope somebody enjoys this. Thanks for reading!

~~~~~

After months of living a boring princess life, the hallways in the castle were brimming with Zelda's excited cries.

"Link is back! He's finally back!"

The royal workers were either taken aback or overjoyed that the hero of Hyrule had returned. Zelda wholeheartedly supported Link's decision to be an engineer. He was too kindhearted to be a hot-blooded fighter, and after everything he did for them, he deserved to follow his heart.

Sometimes, Zelda thought about Link being a royal knight and being able to see him every day, but that was just a fantasy she kept to herself. Link traveled to places Zelda could only imagine, and she couldn't wait for Link to tell her more stories. It may have been a few months, but it was far too long for Zelda.

Without advising anyone, Zelda packed herself a bag and followed her own heart as she ran for the castle gates. One of her advisors was shocked and called Zelda back, but Zelda smiled confidently at her advisor.

"I'll be back, I promise! I need to see Link again!"

Her advisor was taken aback but felt he couldn't reason with the young princess. Zelda happily escaped the castle to head to the train station.

~~~~~

Link didn't mean to be gone so long, but finally being back in Castle Town again felt right as he removed his hat and wiped sweat off his forehead. The young engineer was happy to see everyone again and was bashful about the townsfolk calling him a hero.

He wished he could see her before the passenger train made its way to his seaside home. Alfonzo noticed Link's weariness.

"It's great to be back again, ain't it Link?" The veteran engineer teased.

"Uh!" Link shook and hid his blushing face, and Alfonzo laughed in response.

"No need to be so embarrassed kid! I'm sure Zelda could never forget you!"

Link wanted to believe that. But a lot can change in the months they were apart. They were on entirely different paths, and their adventure together seemed like a distant memory.

"Hey!!!! Link!!!!!"

Link gasped, wondering if he was dreaming. But then his vision went into focus, and he saw the young princess wearing a cloak and carrying a bag. All the people gathered around and noted that Princess Zelda was there.

"Zelda!!!" Link cried.

Zelda giggled and smiled at him. As happy as Link was, he wondered what she was doing here in a simple train station instead of in her lavish castle. But all rational thought was gone when she threw herself into his arms. Link held her close, and he closed his eyes, content that they were together again.

"I missed you so much Link!"

"I missed you too Zelda!"

The crowd watching them gave a few soft responses, along with Alfonzo, who watched the two children and smiled proudly.

"Oh, you kids are so adorable!"

Zelda blushed and broke the hug as she quickly picked up her bag. "Oh, Alfonzo, I am so happy to see you as well!"

Alfonzo tipped his hat. "I am pleased to see you're in good health, your highness."

"But shouldn't you be back at the castle, Zelda?" Link seemed a bit overprotective, but who could blame him?

The princess merely shook her head.

"Link, I don't want to wait for you again. Wherever you're going next, I want to go too!"

Oh Hylia! Old feelings Link felt so long ago were coming back to him. But he couldn't just travel the world with Zelda every day and night…

…As much as he wanted to.

Link grinned and placed his hand behind his head. "The train is heading to Aboda Village Zelda."

"Perfect!" Zelda beamed. "Let's go right now!"

Link just couldn't say no to Zelda's desire for adventure.

~~~~~

Zelda adored traveling on this beautiful passenger train and talking to the passengers. One secret she kept to herself was looking back fondly to when she was a ghost and would fly freely as Link conducted his tiny train.

She would remember it forever, even if she knew the circumstances weren't the best.

Another memory she adored was how relaxing it was for gentle train sounds to lull her to sleep on beautiful nights.

But Zelda couldn't sleep tonight because she had to meet Link.

It was wonderful that Link was following his dreams. Still, he was the youngest train engineer ever, and Zelda was curious if Link ate dinner.

Zelda tiptoed through the bedroom train and continued until she reached the first locomotive that Link was handling.

When Zelda opened the door, Link was still as energized as ever, and she couldn't help but watch him in his passion. She was stunned that Link was handling this entire train by himself while Alfonzo was sleeping; it inspired her so much.

"It's all smooth sailing from here," Link chuckled. "Sailing? I would get seasick."

Link turned around and yawned while stretching, and Zelda couldn't help but giggle. Then Link opened his eyes.

"Zelda!"

Zelda smiled nonchalantly and winked. "Good evening, captain."

"Zelda! You should be sleeping!"

Zelda stepped closer and took his hand. "As much as the sound of trains always helps me sleep, I wanted to spend time with you."

"Oh…" Link turned and hid his blush while running his fingers through his hair. "Well, it's nothing special…"

Zelda blushed and looked down. "It just brings back memories."

Link turned back and offered his hand to the princess, smiling confidently.

"Well, I would want nothing more than to have you beside me Princess."

Zelda smiled and took his hand. She felt like she was flying as she and Link were able to travel by train with the kingdom, which was so peaceful and rid of darkness.

Eventually, Link and Zelda turned their heads as they passed the Tower of Spirits.

Memories lingered of the friends they made that disappeared when their journey ended.

Before they knew it, multiple gentle spirits appeared around them as the train went by. Link was on his guard again, but Zelda took his hand and soothed it. "It's okay," she whispered.

Zelda stepped forward and started singing her ballad for the spirits.

Link wanted to listen to her all night but had to focus. When Zelda finished the first verse, she turned back to Link to smile at him. However, she was stunned when Link revealed that he still had the spirit flute.

Zelda gasped, but Link merely smiled at her. Zelda placed her hand on her heart and closed her eyes as she continued singing while Link played the flute.

The spirits and the sleeping passengers heard their duet's sound. When Link and Zelda finished their duet, they giggled at each other. But then bright lights appeared before them, and they saw that the spirit tracks returned.

Link tried to take control of the train, but the spirits surrounded it and caused it to float toward the stars above them. Link and Zelda gasped and worried for all the passengers, but then they were in awe of how beautiful this trip across the stars was.

Zelda took Link's hand and teleported them to the top of the train, where both of them saw the spirits safely taking them on a magical journey. Zelda hugged Link and giggled, and Link smiled warmly.

Both of them felt the good spirits giving their gratitude, and then the spirits set the train safely back on the tracks on the ground. Zelda quickly teleported them back inside the train.

It was another small, much safer adventure that Link and Zelda would always remember.

~~~~~

The sun was bright the next morning, and Zelda was still sleeping soundly against the wall with a blanket wrapped around her, even though cuccos were making their morning calls.

Link was still on top of his conducting, but when he saw Aboda Village in the distance, he yawned and turned back to Zelda. He smiled down at her and noted how adorable she looked while sleeping.

"Zelda, wake up."

Zelda yawned as she rubbed her eyes.

"Zelda, we're here!"

Zelda gasped and stood up, letting go of the blanket. "Really?"

Link nodded, and he pulled the rope to activate the train horn.

Zelda grinned and took her chance to pull the train horn as well.

The horn was heard by the entire village. The villagers headed straight for the station as the train finally arrived. Link and Zelda had to let the passengers off first, and the two children giggled as Alfonzo got off the train and greeted the villagers with funny jokes.

When Link and Zelda finally got off the train, they were surprised to see the children holding up banners saying, "Welcome home Link!" and "Welcome Princess Zelda!"

And a huge flurry of confetti surrounded them.

And if that wasn't enough, Alfonzo surprised Link and Zelda by lifting them up and putting them on his shoulders. Link and Zelda couldn't be more over the moon celebrating with everyone.

"Three cheers for the heroes of Hyrule!"

"Hip! Hip! Hooray!"

Link and Zelda would have fun and celebrate with all of Aboda Village. But after a few hours, Zelda noticed a strange presence, and Link asked her what was wrong. Zelda wouldn't let anything ruin this day for them and just told him that everything was fine.

Zelda was right about one thing.

The Lokomo Sages smiled at the young heroes at a distance before disappearing again.

They would always watch over the princess and the hero.

Link and Zelda played their duet again for the entire village to hear, and the spirits that surrounded them were a gentle presence for the village forevermore.

#legend of zelda: spirit tracks #zelink #my writing #my fanfiction

4 notes · View notes